#it felt rushed compared to the others and really ooc

[beelzebuddy-catan]

The Not Entirely Human-Human Exchange Student pt.8

Summary: Diavolo hosts a retreat and formal dance for the exchange students, but there are greater threats in the castle than a giant snake and hidden labyrinth. Sometimes, the worst demons are the ones inside us. Warnings: Swearing, mentions of death and violence, unwanted sexual advances Spoilers: Through Lesson 8, Lilith's status Characters: Cass (OC), Lucifer, Mammon, Levi, Satan, Asmo, Beel, Solomon, Simeon, Luke, Barbatos, Diavolo, Mephisto, Preta (OC) and Nadia (OC). Notes: If you want to skip the part with unwanted sexual advances, it's starts after "He was taking selfies when she found the room he’d retreated to" and ends before "Cass didn't stop when she passed Mammon." Previous Part • Next Part

“You said your father’s advisor?”  

“Ah, yes, I suppose you’re not very familiar with how things are structured here. Each King has a council of seven other demons that oversee the eight factions of the Devildom. After the King selects the seven advisors and they’re approved by the House of Lords, the previous King assigns them a faction based on traits they share.”  

“So, your father assigned each of the brothers to a faction based on their sins?” 

“Yes, but he assigned them even before they were approved due to his council being, we’ll say, disbanded. Aeshma was often referred to the demon of wrath before serving on the council. The faction Satan now rules over was once hers.”  

“If I remember correctly,” Simeon chimed in from nearby, “Aeshma was never a fan of yours, was she Lucifer?” Ironic, Cass mused to herself. 

“No, I suppose she wasn’t,” Lucifer answered. Cass would have expected him to carry some kind of contempt towards a demon that disliked him, but there didn’t seem to be any. In fact, he looked at the portrait with a sense of appreciation and perhaps admiration before turning away.  

As she stared at the painting, a feeling of longing washed over her. For the first time in her short memory, Cass felt homesick. Yet, she couldn’t remember that home. Unconsciously, she grabbed her pendant, the only thing that may connect her to that home. 

Asmo started unpacking when they got to their assigned room. While he’d claimed he had packed light and wanted to bring more, Cass couldn’t imagine ever needing half the things he unpacked. Simeon seemed to be sharing her sentiment, but quickly changed his expression.  

“I’m excited to be sharing a space with the two of you.”  

“Yes, you’re quite lucky to be sharing a space with me,” Asmo responded without looking at him. Simeon shot Cass an amused look but didn’t interrupt Asmo’s rant of why they were so lucky. “You know, Simeon, I’ve been wondering lately, what do you really think of me?”  

“I still see you like I did when you were in the Celestial Realm.” Simeon rubbed the back of his neck as he thought about it. “Lucifer, the pride of the Celestial Realm was loved by all and there was one angel that he thought was especially beautiful. An angel whom he praised and kept by his side.”  

Cass stole a glance at Asmo. For a moment, the demon looked crestfallen. Even Simeon, who had known him for so long and had seen different sides of him, still saw him for his looks. Then she realized that Asmo had always been told he was worthy because of his beauty. Did he think Lucifer only kept him around for that? That if he didn’t keep his looks up, he wouldn’t be worth anyone’s attention, much less the former pride of the Celestial Realm.  

“’Twas, Asmodeus, Jewel of the Heavens!” And in a blink, the mask was on. Asmo winked and grinned at the description. “You’re always someone who works hard to uphold their image so other people appreciate him.”  

“So, someone who wants to be loved?”  

“Yes,” Simeon answered.  

No, Cass wanted to say. It’s someone who needs to be loved. Someone who craves love. Someone who needs to be reminded that they are loved. Someone who wants to be desired but, above all else, desires to be loved.  

Asmo tilted his head in thought. “I don’t think that’s quite right. I obviously deserve love, everyone knows that. There probably isn’t anyone who doesn’t love me.”  

Simeon laughed. “It’d would be quite interesting to see how you would react around someone you couldn’t charm.”  

“What about you, Cass? Do you think there’s someone out there who doesn’t love me?”  

Cass stared at him before shrugging. “I think you're conflating love and lust. People aren’t worthy of love because of their looks, and they aren’t unworthy because of them either. Besides, it’s not the quantity of people who love you, but the quality of their love, right? The love from the right person can be worth more than the love of a million others.”  

Before either of them could respond, Satan popped his head in the doorway to let them know the tour was starting. Simeon followed him out of the room. Asmo pushed past her, grabbing her hand as he did and tugged her along, but she could tell he wasn’t happy about her answer. Did he think she meant he wasn’t worthy of love despite being beautiful?   

“I want to go home,” she heard Luke say before they even entered the room. “Levi made some weird alter for some cartoon character and Beel ATE one of the paintings in our room.” 

“The painting was too good. I thought the fruit was real.”  

“And you didn’t notice it was a painting before finishing it?”  

By the time they joined them, Mammon was defending Luke. He was in a surprisingly in a much better mood than he had been when they got room assignments. Which quickly lead to his plan to steal artifacts around the castle with Solomon and Satan later.  

Lucifer arrived just as he finished muttering why he was in a better mood, unaware that the eldest brother’s presence. While the others shifted their teasing to Mammon, a small black ghost that looked like a phantom with golden horns appeared.  

“Hello, everyone! I’m Little D. No. 2.”  

“Is that a tiny demon?” Luke asked, trying to cover his shock. Beel began drooling and at the same time said, “yummy.”  

“I wouldn’t, Beel. Little D. No. 2 would probably make you very sick.”  

“I’m sure you’ve all met some of the Little Ds before, if you haven’t met No. 2 since they help with different council tasks including those for the exchange program.”  

“Yes, I’ve informally adopted them all,” Cass answered, scratching behind Little D. No. 2’s ear. The small demon practically purred in response.  

“Barbatos had some–” there was a miniscule pause in his sentence. Cass wasn’t sure if anyone else caught it, but it seemed like he was hiding something “–student council business to attend to, so I asked Little D. No. 2 to be our guide. He’s small, but helpful.”  

“Unlike another number 2 I know,” Lucifer smirked.  

Mammon was about to defend himself when Little D. No. 2 interrupted. “Let’s begin with this portrait over here!”  

Little D. No. 2 proceeded to walk them through the row of portraits of the Demon Kings in Devildom history. Before taking them to a long hallway full of pictures. Everyone spread out, looking at the different paintings. Mammon and Levi began complaining of boredom and Beel’s stomach continued to growl. Cass stopped in front of a portrait that wasn’t particularly special.  

The subject of the portrait was looking slightly to the side. Her eyes were closed, and she had a slight smile. As if it had caught her reaction to a loved one being all too excited about the corny joke they just told. The portrait made it look like their long white hair was reflecting a soft blue light from the moon. Below one eye was a dark black mark that looked like a small, tattooed sigil.  

There was something familiar about the person in the picture, but Cass couldn’t place it. She didn’t have to look away to tell that Diavolo had joined her to look at the portrait. He didn’t speak right away, as if remembering her.  

“Aeshma of the old council. She’s often cited among some of the most powerful demons in Devildom history.”  

“She’s beautiful.” Diavolo hummed in agreement. “It’s odd, if Preta was in their full human form, I feel like they’d look like her.”  

“It is their aunt, so it’s not too surprising.” Diavolo chuckled.  

“Really?” Cass asked, finally tearing her eyes away from the portrait.  

“Aeshma was my father’s most trusted advisor, so I spent a lot of time with her growing up. It’s also why I’m so close to Preta.”  

“What happened?”  

“She was forfeited. It’s actually one of the reasons Preta stays in an in-between state. I suppose it’d be quite upsetting if whenever they saw their reflection and it mirrored their aunt. Presha adored Aeshma and never really recovered after losing her.”  

Cass wanted to ask more, but it seemed Diavolo was also still upset about losing someone he was close to. “You said your father’s advisor?”  

“Ah, yes, I suppose you’re not very familiar with how things are structured here. Each King has a council of seven other demons that oversee the eight factions of the Devildom. After the King selects the seven advisors and they’re approved by the House of Lords, the previous King assigns them a faction based on traits they share.”  

“So, your father assigned each of the brothers to a faction based on their sins?” 

“Yes, but he assigned them even before they were approved due to his council being, we’ll say, disbanded. Aeshma was often referred to the demon of wrath before serving on the council. The faction Satan now rules over was once hers.”  

“If I remember correctly,” Simeon chimed in from nearby, “Aeshma was never a fan of yours, was she Lucifer?” Ironic, Cass mused to herself. 

“No, I suppose she wasn’t,” Lucifer answered. Cass would have expected him to carry some kind of contempt towards a demon that disliked him, but there didn’t seem to be any. In fact, he looked at the portrait with a sense of appreciation and perhaps admiration before turning away.  

As she stared at the painting, a feeling of longing washed over her. For the first time in her short memory, Cass felt homesick. Yet, she couldn’t remember that home. Unconsciously, she grabbed her pendant, the only thing that may connect her to that home. 

“Cass, are you okay?” Diavolo asked.  

“Yeah, sorry. It must be because she looks so much like Preta, but I weirdly feel like I’ve met her before.” 

Diavolo didn’t question her, and for that, Cass was grateful. She’s not sure she could explain the feeling. She knew it wasn’t because of the similar looks. Whatever happened before arriving in the Devildom, she’d met that demon before.  

“Hey, it’s the Celestial Realm!” Luke called from the other end of the hall. Luckily, he distracted the others, and Cass was able to wipe the tears from her eyes that threatened to fall. 

“Ah, yes. That was painted around the first time I met Lucifer.” Diavolo laughed when he looked at the picture. Lucifer groaned, knowing Diavolo was going to share more. “He was so divine and awe-inspiring that he took my breath away. I couldn’t believe how such a beautiful angel existed.”  

“Guess we know why he wanted to share a room with Lucifer so bad,” Cass muttered to Mammon who stifled his laugh when Lucifer shot them a glare.  

Diavolo continued, unbothered. “You even refused to shake my hand at first.” 

Before they could learn more, a horrible shrieking filled the room. Everyone looked around, trying to figure identify the source. Cass brought her hands up, covering her ears, the shrieking only getting louder.  

“HELENE!” Asmo yelled, running towards one of the portraits.  

“Helene the witch was once known far and wide by her unparalleled beauty. Then, Asmodeus came along and seduced her. In turn, she betrayed her lover to be with him,” Little D. No. 2 explained.  

“All surprised, raise your hands,” Solomon laughed.  

“War erupted from the event and destroyed the entire country. Afterwards Helene was described only as a horrible woman who sold her soul to a demon.”  

“All because Asmo couldn’t keep it in his pants.” Asmo, completely unaware of Little D. No. 2 and Solomon, started trying to reconnect with the witch. “Is, is he really trying to flirt right now?”  

“After Asmodeus, I incurred the wrath of my former lover’s nephew. He was a sorcerer who sealed me in this painting,” the portrait spoke. 

“That must have been Demetrios. It’s quite impressive he grew up to be a sorcerer capable of trapping you. I imagine he must’ve been quite the man given how his father was a hunk.” Asmo pouted slightly. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would have come to help.”  

Helene continued yelling at Asmo, nothing she said getting through to the demon as he tried to flirt his way out of her anger. Suddenly, Mammon started being pulled towards the painting. He grabbed onto Levi’s arm trying to ground himself.  

“Uh-oh. Watch out, she’s known for dragging viewers in, mmmkay,” Little D. No. 2 laughed.  

“Why didn’t say something sooner!” Mammon demanded as he disappeared through the portrait.  

Levi was quick to follow, complaining about his lack of muscles. Beel, whom nobody had grabbed onto, didn’t even bother fighting the witch, hunger getting the best of him. Solomon latched onto Asmo, scolding him for the turn of events. The last thing Cass heard as Asmo grabbed onto her and she was pulled through the painting was Little D. No. 2 telling them to always listen to the tour guide.  

Cass slammed against a concrete floor, groaning from impact. After the room stopped spinning, she took in her surroundings. She was in an old stone hallway that looked like part of the Demon King’s castle. The hall stretched into darkness with no end in sight, just a few doorways along the way.  

“Here me, denizens of darkness, you who are born of shadow and you who give birth to it,” Solomon’s voice echoed around her. “Here me and do as I command! I, King Solomon the Wise, call upon you to send forth one of your numbers! I summon Den of Iniquities’ Master Asmodeus, Avatar of Lust!”  

“You can summon demons?”  

Asmo landed somewhere down the hall from them, rolling on impact. He looked as confused as Cass felt, trying to get his bearings. Upon seeing them, he stood up and brushed any dirt off his clothes before stomping over to yell at Solomon.  

“EXCUSE ME!” He yelled. “I told you to be GENTLE when you summoned me.”  

“Oh, like your girlfriend was with us?” Solomon retorted before turning to answer Cass. “Yes, you can summon demons through your pact with them. It’d probably be difficult for you to do since you have almost no magical power.”  

“I don’t know where we are or what’s going on, but we need to find Beel and get out of here. Otherwise, he’s going to go on a rampage and destroy the castle like he ruined your room, Cass.”  

They chose a path and started walking, deciding to not take any turns that weren’t necessary. Solomon marked the walls as they went, in case they got turned around or came to a dead end and needed to backtrack. As much as she wanted to, Cass refrained from complaining when her feet started to get sore, knowing they were all in the same situation.  

Asmo, however, didn’t seem to care. “How much longer does this go on? Are you even sure this is the right way?”  

“You’re the reason we’re here, Asmo, so suck it up.”  

“Excuse me! Cass, tell him I did nothing wrong.”  

“Being a catalyst to the Trojan war is definitely not nothing. Why don’t you just apologize for trying to seduce a married woman?”  

“Me? Apologize? It didn’t plan for anything to happen. It’s not like I even manipulated her. I simply gave her an opportunity and she grabbed it. Everyone has lust in their heart. No matter how noble or saintly they pretend to be, they’re keeping it locked up in there.”  

“Given the spectrum of sexual attraction, not everyone has lust in their hearts. Are you sure you’re not projecting?”  

Asmo stopped her, staring down into her eyes. “As hard as you may try to control it, deep inside you wish you could do and have what you want. You’re just fighting to suppress the urge and desire to be free. Aren’t you, Cass?” 

Asmo grabbed her chin, forcing her to maintain eye contact as he moved closer, his voice lowering into a deep whisper.  “Who is it you desire? What sort of secret shameful thoughts are hidden inside that heart of yours?” His other arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her flush against him. His breath ghosted over her lips. “Why don’t you let me reach inside and unleash it.”  

“There’s been a development.”  

“We’re having a moment here, Solomon,” Asmo answered, not looking away from Cass.  

“Sorry, I just thought you might want to know that Mammon, Levi, and Beel are coming towards us followed by a giant snake.”  

Asmo didn’t release her as he looked over Cass’s shoulder to see what Solomon was talking about. He jumped back, finally letting her go, waving his hands frantically as he shouted ew. Cass turned to see Solomon wasn’t joking when he said giant.  

“I hate looking at unattractive things. It’s disgusting,” Asmo cringed.  

Cass rolled her eyes at his reaction. It was kind of amazing how he could flip that switch so quickly. Mammon reached them first, picking up Cass and giving Asmo a shove. By the time Beel caught up, Solomon had started running in the direction they were going before Asmo distracted them. Cass looked over Mammon’s shoulder to see Levi trailing shortly behind them, the snake getting closer.  

They were finally able to lose it and pause to come up with a plan. Mammon set her down with a quick apology, explaining that he figured it be harder for her to keep up being human. They had to figure out something fast. There’s no way the snake was far. Even if it were, Beel’s stomach growling gave their location away to anything in a ten-mile radius.  

“Way to go, idiot,” Levi coughed, still trying to breathe.  

Asmo, Cass, and Solomon looked around not sure what he meant. “I thought it was a snake’s shed skin that I could take with us and sell. How was I supposed to know it was a friggin’ monster?  

“He’s not a monster,” Levi cried, trying to hit Mammon, but not having enough energy. “He’s Henry 1.0. He was down here all along. I never thought I’d see him again.”  

“I’m sorry, Henry 1.0?”  

“It’s his pet snake. Every time Levi gets a new pet, he names it Henry.”  

“You’re onto, what, you’re fourth henry?  

“NO! I currently have Henry 2.0. I’m so happy that Henry 1.0 is alive and well! He grew up to be so big. Look at the selfie I took with him!” Levi beamed, turning his phone for them to see.  

“You had time to take a fucking selfie? While we were runnin’ for our lives?”  

“If he’s your pet, why can’t you pacify him?”  

Levi smile fell. “He looked like he’d forgotten about me.”  

“Or he’s pissed you replaced him and left him to die.” Levi turned to Cass horrified at even the joke that he would do that.  

“Let’s hunt it down, trap it, and eat it,” Beel said, a scary level of determination taking over his features. 

“NOOOO,” Levi screamed.  

“Plan B?” Mammon asked.  

“Well, if it were up to Asmo, he’d be trying to sleep with it.”  

“EXCUSE ME?” Asmo yelled at the same time Solomon spoke. “That actually gives me an idea.”  

--- 

After Mammon had distracted the snake, Solomon had been able to amplify Asmo’s powers for him to charm the snake. After being charmed, the snake safely led them to an exit before disappearing down the corridors. Levi’s cries of goodbye following the snake in his tracks.  

They’d gotten out in time for Barbatos’s dinner and before Beel’s little remaining self-control left. They had retired earlier, giving Cass some time to unwind after everything happened. That, and time to research the former council.  

There had been very little information about them in the final years of their existence. It would have been impossible for her to have met Aeshma, considering she had been forfeited. Not that Cass had been able to figure out what exactly that meant.  

With a brief interruption from Mammon trying to start a pillow fight with Asmo, who had been pretending to be asleep, and Lucifer charging into the room, Cass had fallen asleep early. That sleep had gone uninterrupted as Asmo claimed he needed his beauty sleep and Simeon could have been dead with how quiet and unmoving he was once asleep.  

Apparently, after being pulled away by Lucifer, Mammon hadn’t gotten much sleep. The following morning, he could barely stand up. His head rested on Beel’s shoulder as he tried to sneak in a quick nap. Levi was live tweeting the conversation, as he had done the day before.  

“I’m sure you had a hard time yesterday,” Diavolo laughed, “but it was quite fun to watch.”  

“You know,” Asmo started, “I bet–” 

Before he had time to continue, both Simeon and Cass rushed to cover Luke’s ears. Cass wasn’t able to catch everything Asmo said, but she was grateful that they’d gotten to Luke before he’d heard any of the vulgarity pouring out of his mouth. Both of them glared at the demon, who shrugged, unbothered.  

“Why are you covering my ears? I can’t hear anything,” Luke shouted.  

“Why don’t we just get started with the scavenger hunt?” Solomon asked, trying to divert attention away from Asmo.  

They divided into teams based on their room pairings. Something seemed off about Asmo, like he was trying to prove something. He kept disappearing during their search and didn’t bother helping. He was being especially aggressive about getting Cass’s attention.  

“Did you really hatch a plot to keep us from winning?” Satan demanded, charging up to them.  

Simeon and Cass exchanged a look, not sure what he was talking about. “Asmo’s been preventing us from making any progress.”  

“He keeps jumpin’ in front of the items when we go to get a picture so we can’t get a clear shot.”  

“Why do you even want a picture of some old boring art. Your camera will thank you for taking a picture with such a beautiful subject.” 

“SERIOUSLY?” Luke shouted from around the corner.  

“Luke?”  

“I tried to take a picture of this statue and Asmodeus went and charmed it.” 

“I can’t help that I’m so beautiful and charming, plus the rule didn’t say I couldn’t do that.” Mammon and Satan both starting yelling at him. Asmo waved his hand in a shooing motion at them before turning and walking away. “I’m going somewhere where I don’t have to listen to someone lecturing me.”  

The others called after him or complained about his attitude. Cass sighed, handed Simeon the paper with their clues, and followed the drama queen they got for a partner. He was taking selfies when she found the room he’d retreated to.  

Asmo looked up at the sound of the door closing. Before she knew it, he had backed her against it, placing a hand on her hip. The other reached down and locked the door. There was something different about him. It reminded her of the maze yesterday and when they’d first met.  

“Did you follow me for some alone time?” 

The way he spoke reminded her of a hypnotist. Even though it was a question, he said it as a statement. His movements strategic, laying the foundation for whatever his goal was. Even without using his powers, there was something hypnotic about the demon.  

But she wasn’t going to let herself get pulled in by cheap tricks. “No. I came to get you so we could finish the game. Also, you should apologize to the others, that wasn’t cool.”  

Asmo hummed in fake thought, but Cass could tell he wasn’t considering it. The hand on the door went to cup her cheek. She tried to shift out of his grasp, not recognizing his behavior. Normally, he seemed to exude love, making others feel as good as he did. This was too calculated for Asmo, too harsh. The hand on her hip tightened, as he leaned down to speak in her ear.  

“Oh, no? Was I being unfair?” He mocked, pulling her even closer. His grip became painful, but he refused to let go despite how much she struggled. “What an odd behavior. Who would have thought a demon would be unfair or unkind? Did you delude yourself into thinking we aren’t the type of beings to take what we want?”  

Cass squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to look at him. He pulled away as he tsked, hand moving to her chin and squeezing until she looked at him again. She glared back, knowing it would do very little, but wanting him to see how pissed she was.  

“I tried charming you yesterday and again today. But you didn’t feel anything, did you? You’re just some human. Why doesn’t my power work on you?” He became enraged at the very notion, but the soon expression shifted to a ruthless, inhuman one. “Don’t worry though, I can convince you in other ways.” 

“This is a really ugly side of you,” Cass spit out.  

Asmo’s grip became impossibly tight as he pressed her into the door. His horns sprouted at her words, and she knew she had hit a nerve. He grinned. Unlike his normal smile it was sadistic. When they’d first met, his eyes reminded her of a flickering candle, drawing her in. Now, there was nothing behind the pale saffron hue. 

"I don’t have any ugly sides, Cass. I’m happy to take my time and show you that.” 

“Knock it off, this isn’t funny.”  

“Who said I’m joking? I don’t know why you’re fighting me. Things would go a lot smoother for you if you just agreed. Besides, this is what everyone wants, to be with me. You should consider yourself lucky I find you worthy enough.”  

“Fuck you.”  

“I’m certainly not surprised to hear that from you. That’s what you’re doing, isn’t it? Sleeping your way through my brothers? Or is it just whoever will agree to it? I suppose it was only a matter of time before you tried to trick me into a pact too. Did you think insulting me yesterday would make me want to prove something to you? I’m not going to let that happen, you’re not going to control me.” 

Cass blinked rapidly, trying to clear the tears forming in her eyes. She wasn’t sure if it was from the pain of Asmo’s nails digging into her skin or what he was saying. She needed to get away from him somehow otherwise he might let his sin and insecurities take over completely. How had he gotten into a state of such desperation that he couldn’t control himself?  

“Cass?”  

She heard someone calling her name. She used the brief window of time Asmo was distracted to shove him away from her. He stumbled backwards, falling into the nearby chair. She threw the door open and glanced back. The feral look in his eyes was gone and a mixture of regret and self-hatred took its place. She didn’t care though, she wanted him to feel that way, at least for now.  

Cass didn’t stop when she passed Mammon. He called after her, confusion evident in his voice. She didn’t want to talk to him. She didn’t want to talk to anyone right now. By the time she was back to her room, she couldn’t stop the tears. Her anger only made it worse.  

She grabbed her keys, leaving the rest of her belongings. Diavolo would probably let her get them later. If not, they really weren’t worth packing. Cass made it to the front door before someone stopped her. She ripped her arm out of their grasp, not wanting anyone to touch her.  

“Where do you think you’re going? Lord Diavolo planned this retreat and we’re staying for the weekend.”  

“You go right ahead. I’m not staying here any longer.” Lucifer went to stop her again and she shoved him. “Don’t fucking touch me,” she hissed. She knew he was going to scold her, tell her not to risk harming Diavolo’s image. “Don’t worry about threatening me either, your brother already beat you to it this time.”  

Lucifer furrowed his eyebrows, only now taking in her tear-stained face. She could hear Mammon calling her name still. There were a few other voices, but it didn’t matter who right now. Cass pulled open the door before Lucifer could stop her and walked out of the castle.  

Only after she was alone did she start to calm down. A weird feeling had settled over her after she started the walk towards town. At first, she’d thought it was Lilith. Then she noticed the difference. Whenever Lilith’s presence appeared, it was like a wall between her and whoever was threatening her.  

This feeling only came once any threat had passed. Rather than preventing the danger, it was comforting. Like a blanket draped around her shoulders or hug from a best friend. Whatever, or whoever, this was, Cass was glad to have them on her side.  

Cass didn’t have a plan once she made it to town. They’d be looking for her at the House of Lamentation, Purgatory Hall, or one of the restaurants she frequented. There weren’t any places Cass could imagine going to that they wouldn’t think to check.  

She sank to the ground, sitting on the edge of the sidewalk. There’s nothing she wanted more than her memory back. Or, at the very least, her memory of one person. She just needed one person she could turn to no matter what.  

“Isn’t it dangerous for you to be out here?”  

Cass looked up at the person who had stopped in front of her. She wore a large black witch’s hat. If Cass were standing, the brim would cover one of her golden amber eyes where it dipped from the weight. An old scar, likely from an animal’s scratch, ran across one side of her face and a maroon rune was on her forehead. Her hair had been pulled back at one point, but now pieces were falling out and the hair tie close to following.  

The oddest thing about the witch was the greyish tone to her skin and the vacant look behind her eyes. Cass wasn’t sure why, but the first word that came to her mind was corpse. Her stare seemed to go right through her, like Cass was a ghost.  

“I guess it’ll be easier for you to survive since your only half here.”  

“What?” Cass blinked up at the witch.  

“Has no one told you yet?” She looked to her right, falling silent. Cass looked down the street, but nothing was there. “I don’t know who called me here, but they weren’t very powerful. You’ll need to find someone stronger next time.”  

Cass turned back to the stranger, but she was already gone. A single raven’s feather floated to the ground, a small, rolled piece of paper was tied to the quill. Cass unfurled the paper to reveal a single name, Nadia Kyteler.  

“Hell to Cass!” Cass jumped at the voice looking up from the card to see Preta leaning over her. “I’ve been calling your name from down the block. What are you doing here?”  

“Oh, sorry. I, um, I was supposed to be at the Demon Lord’s castle, but something happened and I kind of ran away?”  

“Just when I think you can’t be any more amazing,” Preta laughed. “Do you want to talk about it?” Cass shook her head. “Well, I have to go to some stupid dance in about four hours. Do you want to get drunk and come with me to get ready?”  

--- 

“What’s it like when you get hungry?” Cass asked. Preta gave her a quizzical look. “Obviously I know what it feels like to be hungry. I meant, what does it feel like after you get past the typical feelings, when it starts to take over your thoughts?”  

“It’s hard to know when that is, really, because I’m always hungry, I’ve always been hungry. I don’t know what it’s like to not be hungry, just what it’s like to be less hungry. That feeling’s just part of me and it’ll never really be gone. 

“It’s like a headache. If it’s not bad, you ignore it. But you can only do that so long before it starts to impact your thoughts and actions. Eventually, it becomes all consuming. Every sound, every movement, every little thing is about the headache. And you’ll do anything to get rid of it, but at some point, it’s not really you making those decisions. Something else takes control because you can’t fight it anymore.”   

It made sense, she’d seen all the brothers go through something similar. Countless times Lucifer looked like he wanted to apologize, but couldn’t say the words or when he did, they always came with a warning. Mammon had called her outside of the casino having been ripped away from the table because he couldn’t leave. Levi almost killed her because of it. Satan and Beel had destroyed parts of the house on several occasions. And now, with Asmo.  

“You’re really going to go?” Preta asked, when Cass didn’t say anything. After she’d told them about what happened, Preta kept asking her that. 

Cass sighed, looking up at the ceiling. The dance Preta had mentioned turned out to be the formal ball Diavolo was hosting for the exchange program. It made sense given their family’s connection to the House of Lords and Royal family. As much as she didn’t want to see Asmo, she knew it wasn’t an option. 

“Yeah, it’s not Diavolo’s fault. Regardless of how many times Lucifer threatens me, I don’t want the exchange program to fail either.”  

“Alright but say the word and I will break every one of that fucker’s nails and then pull them off one by one.”  

Cass, who’d taken a sip of her drink at that moment, started coughing. The image of Asmo having each nail broken made her feel better than it probably should have. The stylist Preta had managed to hire at the last minute looked more concerned about Cass than Preta did. After she made sure Cass was fine, she went back to finishing her hair.  

Preta picked up their phone, rolling their eyes at Cass. “Hello?...Do I look like I run a service for runaway humans?...Maybe she doesn’t want to talk to you, and that’s why she’s not answering...I will immediately check on that for you.” They ended the call and set their phone back down.  

“What are you checking on?”  

“I’m not. He’ll get his answer when you get to the ball, I’m not his secretary.” Before Cass could respond, they changed the subject. “Do you even have something to wear for this?”  

Preta groaned as their phone rang again. Cass shook her head in response to the question. “Hey, Dia!...I hung up on him because he’s an arrogant ass...I’d say he should learn some manners, but he doesn’t really need anything else to warrant his ego...Yes, she’ll be at the caste, safe and sound and the envy of all...Goodbye.”  

“Good news, a dress will be waiting for you at my apartment. If you hate it, I probably have something you can wear. Bad news, the dress they sent has reds, so those won’t work.”  

Cass turned to see the stylist holding flowers with a magenta hue. She hadn’t even realized the stylist was there. Preta took a sip of their drink, already scrolling through their phone. After a beat they held it up to the stylist, showing her some different pictures. The stylist went into the back, returning with gold laurel branches and flowers of a pale azureish seafoam.  

“How do you make your freckles glow?”  

“My what?”  

“When you were sitting outside, your freckles looked like they were almost glowing. Kind of like pact marks in use. Did you make another pact?”  

“No,” Cass muttered, staring into the mirror.  

She traced over the dusting of freckles on her cheeks. They didn’t look any different than usual. Despite their being black, they were usually easy enough to cover with some light make-up, if she chose to hide them. They couldn’t be a pact mark, right? They weren’t even sigils, just random dots, like stars in a constellation.  

“It was probably just my eyes playing tricks or residual magic, I wouldn’t worry about it,” they added after noticing Cass’s reaction. “Just thought it was a cool party trick for a human.”  

By the time they made it to Preta’s apartment, they were both tipsy. So much so, that when Cass saw the heels shoes that accompanied the dress, she almost cried. Despite wearing heels most of the time, they weren’t usually this tall. She’d struggle walking in them even if she hadn’t had anything to drink.  

It was only after Preta stopped laughing and ate enough food to satisfy a family of four that they announced there was a spell to help. Of course, there was a spell for that. The more time she spent in the Devildom, the more she wished she could perform some magic.  

“That bitch! Of all the times Asmo has seen me in heels.”  

“Say the word and I’ll do it. One nail at a time.”  

Cass laughed, swaying where she stood. Okay, okay, okay, Cass. She thought to herself, or maybe she said the words out loud. Either way, she needed to focus and finish getting ready. She was fortunate enough that liquor in the Devildom didn’t affect her as much as it did demons. It did, however, make her feel cross-faded. By the time she started taking out the dress that had been sent for her, Preta had already changed.  

Their hair was pulled back into a slick ponytail making their horns appear even more prominent. They were wearing a formal suit. The fitted, cropped white top contrasting the oversized black jacket and high-rise pants. While it wasn’t unusual for Preta to wear black and white, the whole ensemble showcased how well they could fit in around Diavolo and Mephisto.  

“You need to hurry, or we’ll be late,” Preta said, mouth full of the bread they’d taken a bite of.  

Moving as fast as she could, Cass started changing. The dress had clearly been designed with her in mind. The dark mahogany lace bodice was so dark that it looked black at certain angles. Sigils of the brothers she’d made pacts with made up the lace design.  

Each layer of the gathered skirt was a lighter color. There was a slit in the dress that showed peaks of the bold blood red of the bottom layer when she walked. The heels laced in a way that went all the way up her leg. Even with the heels, the skirt trailed behind her while she walked.  

Cass spun once the dress was on, unable to look away. Somehow, the fabric had been embedded with magic to reflect lights like gold sparkles. There was a single elbow length glove that she debated wearing but decided that whoever designed the dress knew best. Mammon and Levi’s pact marks would have been hidden with the matching glove. The gold jewelry included in the package matched the clips in her hair.  

“Wow, you look stunning.”  

Preta was close enough to examine the details of the dress. Cass, distracted by the sparkles, hadn’t noticed someone entered the apartment. They both jumped at the sound of a throat clearing. Mephisto stood in the doorway looking unamused.  

“How many times must I tell you not to eat after you’ve gotten ready?” He grumbled, walking up to Preta to wipe the crumbs off their shirt. “Cass, you look presentable, surprisingly.”  

“Did you hear that, Cass? Presentable. He’s absolutely swooning.”  

Cass giggled at the impression Preta started doing of the demon, grabbing his arm to keep her balance. Mephisto rolled his eyes, before pausing to appraise both of them. His eyes narrowed after a moment, and he inhaled sharply.  

“Did you really get drunk again? As associates of Lord Diavolo, we owe it to him–”  

“When did you become such a lame ass, Phitsy?” Preta interrupted, grabbing their keys.  

“Excuse me? Do you really think Aeshma would be proud of this behavior? Or that you got one of the guests of honors drunk?”  

“Do you really think you’d get away with admonishing Aeshma?” Preta bit out, pushing past him. “Don’t act like you’re above me. Pointy boot shoe bitch.”  

Cass watched the interaction with wide eyes, afraid to interrupt or move. Even though this is how the two always interacted, the demonus made her hesitant. After Preta left, Mephisto looked down at her. Only then did she realize she was still holding onto his arm.  

Cass let him guide her into the hall so he could close the door. “I am but an inozent human was cor-” she hiccupped “-rupted by a demon.”  

--- 

Luckily, Mephisto’s driver was able to get them there on time. Still affected by the demonus, Cass tried to stay towards the back of the room. Solomon was the first one to approach her, linking arms and pulling her in line with the other exchange students and the student council.  

“If you get any more radiant, people are going to start thinking you’re an angel.” 

“If you get any creepier, people are going to start thinking you’re a demon,” Cass retorted, trying to appear normal, but the blush that had appeared at his words quickly gave her away.   

How long had they been standing there? She knew someone was giving them instructions, but all she could think about was dinner. Solomon was clearly amused by her behavior, probably well aware of her inebriated state.  

She jumped when she felt his breath hit her ear, unaware that he’d leaned down to speak. “You’re lucky most demons aren’t familiar of human behavior, or you might have more to worry about than Lucifer knowing you showed up drunk.”  

“What’s he going to do kill me?”  

Solomon snorted in response, trying not to laugh too loud. “They’re just going to introduce us and then you can go back to hiding in the shadows.”  

As they approached the top of the stairs, Cass was able to hear the announcer better. It was the first time she’d heard the brothers’ full titles. Except when Solomon summoned Asmo. As each name was announced, she became more and more excited about what her own would be.  

Archdemon Lucifer the Morning Star, Avatar of Pride...Count Mammon of Wealth, Avatar of Greed...Grand Admiral Leviathan, Avatar of Envy...Prince Satan of Darkness, Avatar of Wrath...Den of Iniquities Master Asmodeus, Avatar of Lust...Lord Beelzebub of Flies, Avatar of Gluttony...Chief Demon Belphegor, Avatar of Sloth.  

Even the Angels’ and Solomon’s titles were formidable. Archangel Simeon, Principality of Kindness... Angel Luke, Disciple of the Archangel Michael... King Solomon the Wise, Son of David. Which may be why it was so disappointing to hear her introduction as Exchange Student Cass of the Human Realm.  

“What a fucking disappointment,” she whispered as Solomon and her stepped to the edge of the stairs.  

She didn’t miss the smirk he wore as they waited for the signal they could proceed towards the main floor. Cass thanked whoever was listening that Preta had used that spell on her shoes because she was certain she would have fallen down the stairs without it.  

Solomon should have thanked them too because had she been a little more certain of her steps, she probably would have shoved him when he told her to do something more interesting if she wanted a better title.  

The ballroom of the Castle was as extraordinary as the rest of the place. Cass had to remind herself to act natural, paranoid someone would wonder why she kept staring at the chandeliers. The jewels that hung from them may be common in the Devildom, but she was certain they weren’t crystal or diamonds, and she couldn’t figure out what they were.  

Her paranoia wasn’t helped by the fact everyone seemed to be following her movements. She should have borrowed a different dress from Preta to blend in more. The sparkles only attracted more attention than she wanted.  

It wasn’t long before Mammon, Satan, and Levi had found their way to her. Though she’d seen them in their demon forms before, it was rare to see them dressed in formal wear at the same time. Just as Preta seemed transformed, so did the brothers. For the first time, she saw them as others may, imposing members of the ruling council.  

Cass was certain Mammon wasn’t acting any different. Try as she might, though, she couldn’t keep up with his stuttering to string together any meaning. Satan and Levi settling into the role of commentators, never ones to pass up the opportunity to poke fun at Mammon.  

“You’re talking so fast,” Cass finally said.  

She put her hand on his arm, looking up at him with tired eyes. She smiled, waiting for him to continue at a slower rate, but his brain seemed to stop at the action. Mammon was blushing so hard, he could have matched the color of her skirt.  

“Cass,” a voice interrupted them. She turned to see Lucifer standing behind her. “Come dance with me.” 

Without giving her a chance to respond, he grasped her hand and pulled her to the dance floor. The chandeliers looked even more amazing looking up from the dance floor. It wasn’t until Lucifer squeezed her hand that whatever trance she’d been in snapped.  

“What happened with Asmo?” Cass stumbled over her feet at the question. “He hasn’t spoken to anyone since you disappeared earlier. As I’ve said before, I respect my brother’s wishes, but if you ever become a threat–”  

“You sound like a broken record,” Cass interrupted. Lucifer clenched his jaw. “I get it, if I ever hurt you or your brothers, you’ll kill me, and no one will find the body.”  

Lucifer quickly dipped her before pulling her close. Her head was still spinning as he continued speaking. “You seem to have a hard time remember that.”  

“And what makes you so certain your brother was the one in danger earlier?” Lucifer didn’t answer, tension hanging between them as the song came to an end. “If you want to dance with me, you can do that without the threat. I won’t judge you.”  

Cass barely caught the slight blush at her words as Lucifer dropped her hands. He stepped back, allowing Solomon to swoop in before the next song started, and she was stuck with Lucifer as her dance partner once again. The sorcerer’s grip on her hand was far gentler than the demon’s.  

“How are you holding up?” Cass shrugged, not sure how to answer. “I’m not sure what happened with Asmo earlier, and it may not be my place, but I think you should speak with him once you’re ready.”  

“You’re right, it’s not your place.” A sigh quickly followed her words, knowing the anger was misplaced. “Where is he anyways? I’d have thought he’d vying for center of attention.”  

Solomon raised his eyebrows, only humming in response. That’s all he needed to do though. If he hadn’t spoken with anyone, he obviously wasn’t in the place to dazzle a crowd. While she felt guilty, she was also relieved Asmo at least realized he’d gone too far.  

“You know, I find it a bit odd you haven’t manifested any magic.” Cass glanced at Solomon, wondering where the change of subject was leading. “I’m curious to know what would happen if you could take control command demons with your pacts. How would you feel about borrowing mine?”  

Cass stilled. He was going to come up with a reason why he was offering that, because Solomon would never admit the truth. He wanted to lend them to her, so she felt safe enough to approach Asmo now. No matter how he acted, Solomon really did care about him.  

“And why would you do that?” Cass asked, playing into it. “Do you have a booty call and want to hide it?” 

Solomon laughed, the music loud enough it didn’t draw any attention to their conversation. “You know, if your magic is strong enough, you can make it so demons don’t have that feeling.”  

“So why is it that Asmo is so familiar with that feeling when it comes to you?”  

“I said you can, not that I did.” Solomon winked like the cheeky bastard he was. “How would you like to experiment a bit and know what it’s like to have magic and possibly control a demon? We wouldn’t want to waste the opportunity since it’s a retreat.”  

Once the song ended, Diavolo started introducing her to what felt like everyone. By the time the dance was over, she was ready to spend the next few days in solitude. Before anyone could stop her, Cass slipped away down the first empty hall, wandering the castle for a moment’s peace.  

She didn’t have many options. Preta had disappeared halfway through the dance, sending her a text later that an emergency had come up. It was passed the point she felt comfortable venturing down the streets alone.  

While there were plenty of rooms at the castle, there’s no telling what hid behind some of the doors. Even with Solomon’s magic, she’d rather avoid being thrown back into the underground labyrinth, especially alone.  

Cass debated whether to just find a safe enough area to sleep or risk going to the room she’d been assigned to and coming across Asmo. There was a chance they’d rearranged sleeping arrangements because of this afternoon. Before making up her mind, however, she stumbled across Mammon. 

He was pointing at the doors he passed, as if counting them from the corner he’d just rounded. Like her, he was still dressed in his outfit from the dance though his horns and wings were out of sight. It didn’t take a genius to figure out he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to be.  

“Whatever you’re planning, I’d reconsider.”  

Cass had never seen anyone jump the way did Mammon had. He’s lucky it was her that had come across him, considering he hadn’t been aware of his surroundings. His hand went to his heart to calm down before he started muttering under his breath.  

“I’m not doing anything bad,” he whispered once she was close. She glared at him. “Okay, fine. I saw something in Lucifer’s room last night that would be really easy to steal. Nobody will even notice it’s missing. I’ll be so fast, they won’t even know I was here.”  

Mammon opened the door, holding his finger to his lips to signal she needed to stay quiet. Mammon didn’t give her an option to follow or not. He grabbed her arm, pulling her into the pitch-black room, letting the door close softly behind them.  

Cass squinted trying to adjust to the darkness. Something was wrong, that much was clear. The room was damp, as if someone had been stuck inside panting. A soft breeze blew through the room, but it carried the same warm, damp feeling. There was nothing refreshing about the air or the smell of death it carried.  

“Shit,” Mammon whispered, grabbing onto her arm. “There’s something slippery on the floor.”  

Before Cass could get more information, a loud grumble echoed around them. The sound was not unlike Beel when he hadn’t eaten enough. Had Mammon got confused and ended up in Beel’s room? Whatever was in the room shifted, and three pairs of eyes narrowed in on Mammon and Cass.  

“Aw, it’s just a dog!” Cass practically squealed, rushing forward to pet the multiheaded animal.  

The dog growled when Mammon grabbed her arm, pulling her back. “What the hell are you thinking? That’s Cerberus. We’ve got to get the hell out of here.”  

“What? No, I think he’s just lonely.”  

Mammon released her arm, frantically looking for a door. When he was distracted, Cass reached up, scratching beneath one of the dog’s chins. Even in the dark, she could see his tail wagging. While still loud enough to be terrifying, a deep satisfied rumble came from the dog.  

“There’s another door here,” Mammon announced.  

He picked her up by the waist, ignoring her protests and ran through the doorway without hesitating. They started falling, surrounded by darkness before crashing onto the stone floor of the labyrinth. Mammon cursed, taking the brunt of the fall since he was still holding Cass. She dusted off her clothes, helping him stand.  

“We’re back in the labyrinth,” Cass groaned, stating the obvious.  

“Yup.” 

“Do you also think that noise is Henry 1.0 making his way towards us?”  

“Most likely.” 

“Bring it on.”  

“We should be fine, Asmo charmed it.”  

At the very far end of the corridor, Henry 1.0 started slithering towards them. Whatever charm the snake had been under before, it clearly had been lifted. Mammon was yelling at her to run, but she knew there was no point. If they were going to get out of this, they needed Asmo. As much as she didn't want to summon him, thinking it would only push them further apart, it was a last resort. Hopefully he’d understand.  

She really should have paid more attention to Solomon earlier. She fumbled through the words, hoping it was close enough. “Denizens of darkness, those born of shadow and those who birth it. Here me, Cass, as I call to summon Den of Iniquities’ Master Asmodeus, Avatar of Lust!”  

Magic swirled around them. This hadn’t happened when Solomon summoned Asmo yesterday. Was she too far off with the words that it went horribly wrong? Before her, Asmo materialized, confusion evident on his features. He started criticizing Solomon before he even saw Mammon or Cass.  

Much like Mammon, he was still wearing his formal wear, but no longer had his demon features visible. The static caused by the magic didn’t dissipate. The charge only increased Cass’s adrenaline as the snake was almost too them.  

“Cass?” Asmo’s eyes lit up, a mixture of emotion behind the initial relief. “I’m so happy to see you, I really wanted to talk to you abou–”  

“And I would love to talk to you too,” Cass interrupted, “but we’ve got a much more pressing matter.”  

Asmo pivoted, taking in the snake. Cass repeated the chant to help supplement Asmo’s powers to the best of his ability. Within no time, the snake was once again docile, waiting on Asmo to make a command.  

“How? When? You can summon people?” Mammon yelled. “Did you make a pact with Asmo? Is that why you ran off or somethin’?”  

“No, we didn’t,” Asmo answered, appraising Cass. “Not only did you summon me, but you drew my power out in a way that Solomon has never been able to. Who exactly are you, Cass?” 

--- 

Lucifer was pacing in front of the three of them. Cass wasn’t sure why Asmo and her were being included in this lecture when they hadn’t done anything but get swept up in Mammon’s plans. Granted, Lucifer did seem to favor collective punishment.  

“Why the hell was Cerberus in your room anyways? Huh?” Mammon demanded.  

“I cursed the door to prevent a certain someone from stealing any pieces to sell. Anyone who opened the door without knocking first would go to Cerberus’s room.”  

“Why are you locking up that precious animal anyways?”  

Cass crossed her arms, huffing as she leaned back onto the couch. Several of the brothers exchanged looks while Levi and Mammon stared in disbelief. Lucifer rubbed his temple and muttered something under his breath.  

“Precious?” Diavolo asked when nobody continued.  

“Yeah! He let me walk right up and pet him. When was the last time you let him out? Or gave him a treat? Or spent time with him?”  

“I’ve never heard anyone describe a hellhound, much less Cerberus, as precious,” Diavolo laughed. “And he let you pet him?”  

Cass withdrew slightly, wondering why they were acting like the dog was vicious. “It’s not like I was a threat to him, why would he attack me? I obviously don’t know him personally, but in mythology, isn’t he just a guard dog that prevents mortals from entering the underworld and souls from leaving?”  

“That’s just mythos though,” Barbatos answered, “those stories were made up. Hellhounds have a variety of skills and duties. One of the few truths about him is that he is a guard dog, though what he guards varies.”  

“Maybe you all should try being nicer to him,” Cass shrugged.  

“Regardless, it seems someone kindly lent you their powers. Very fortunate you had those when you ran into Henry 1.0 again. Don’t you agree Solomon?”  

“What? Someone did that? What a kind and selfless act. Truly a rarity here in the Devildom,” Solomon mused in false sincerity.  

Asmo, who had been silent since he charmed the snake apart from sharing directions out of the labyrinth cleared his throat. “May Cass and I be excused? I’d like to speak with her in private.”  

Everyone’s eyes were suddenly on her, mostly out of concern. “What’s he going to do kill me?” She laughed but the joke was met with silence. “One of these days, you all will find that funny.”  

With that she stood up, brushing off anyone’s concerns and followed Asmo out of the room. They walked in silence for a while, making random turns before Asmo came to a stop. Cass knew he was trying to make sure nobody heard their conversation while also making sure they were in a hallway so she felt like she could escape.  

Asmo took a step towards her after a moment, lifting a hand. Cass flinched, withdrawing at the action. His hand tensed before falling back to his side. She crossed her arms, trying to calm down. While she did feel safer knowing she still had Solomon’s powers and could stop him from doing anything, she didn’t want to do that.  

Even when she’d summoned him and helped when he’d charmed Henry 1.0, Cass couldn’t help thinking about what he’d said earlier. I’m not going to let that happen, you’re not going to control me. It was the same sentiment Mammon had expressed after they made a pact. Just because may be in control of my body doesn’t mean you own my mind. 

“Simeon wondered how I would react if I couldn’t charm someone,” Asmo finally spoke. “I panicked, that’s what happened. You said that was an ugly side of me, but it’s not a side of me. That is me.” His voice fell into a whisper, so quiet she almost missed the next part. “I’m ugly. I’ve been ugly since I fell.”  

“No one is one thing and one thing only. Yeah, that was you earlier, you’re right, but that’s not all you are. Just like Satan is so much more than his wrath. It’s a disservice to yourself to think that.”  

“I could have hurt you. I kept thinking, if I can’t charm her, there might be others I can’t charm. And if I can’t charm people, they’ll leave me when they see what I really am.”  

“Then let them.” 

“I can’t live like that, abandoned, alone,” Asmo said, his eyes glassy.   

“You won’t be.”  

Asmo didn’t answer. He was looking off to the side, as if considering Cass’s words and how to respond. She was finally able to take in his appearance. At first glance, it was likely nobody would notice something was wrong. But the little details that were so important to him were missing. A piece of hair or two in the wrong place, make up not as perfect, wrinkles on his jacket. 

“There are a few things I want to say, and I don’t want to be interrupted. Is that okay?” The question was met with another long silence before Asmo nodded.  

“I know that whatever happened wasn’t something you could control. It’d be hypocritical of me to hate you for that since I’ve been threatened or attacked by all of your brothers when their sin takes over. That doesn’t mean I have to be okay with it and brush it off though.  

“I know you’re a demon and think that because I’m human you can just do whatever. But I’m not letting anyone, demon or not, push me around. You said you didn’t want to be controlled. Neither do I. I can respect your wish if you can respect mine. 

“I’m also sorry.” Asmo’s head snapped up at the words. “What I said hurt you, regardless of what I meant, and you had a natural reaction. I don’t want to be the type of person that hurts people, especially people I care about. 

“I don’t know what you thought I meant when I said that people aren’t worthy of love because of their looks. But I didn’t mean that you weren’t worthy of love. Anyone who doesn’t love you is a fool, Asmo. That may be because you are incredibly beautiful, but who you are isn’t what you look like.  

“Who you are is inside of you, flaws and all. Even that side of you earlier, that’s part of you. Pretending it’s not or hiding that is only going to make it harder for you to love yourself and accept love given to you. But you deserve to be loved and are worthy of that, sin and all. Don’t let anyone make you believe differently.” 

“Nobody could love who I was earlier, not even me.”  

“We don’t have to love every part of someone to love them, not even ourselves.”  

She stayed silent, not sure where to go from here. Regardless of what she said, the only person that could change his mind was him. She just hoped she could help him on his way.   

“When you’re ready, if you’re ever ready,” Asmo finally spoke. “I want to make a pact with you.”  

“What?”  

“I've known Solomon for millennia and I’m not sure he sees me the way you do. I think that’s why you were able to pull such power out of me. You said you didn’t want to control me, and I believe you.” Asmo hadn’t tried to move closer to her since the start of their conversation. Even now, he stayed outside of arms reach. “I’ll spend however long it takes proving that I’m as worthy as you think.”  

“You don’t have to prove anything to me,” Cass sighed.  

“I know, but I have to prove it to myself.”  

--- 

Cass stared out the window, taking a deep breath. It was surprisingly warm outside compared to how cold it’d been the last few weeks. She let the breeze blow over her, as if blowing away the stress of the day. For some reason, she wasn’t tired, even after everything that had happened.  

Asmo had gone to bed after their talk. He seemed lighter when he’d turned to leave. Before he could, Cass had wrapped her arms around him. The demon stiffened for a moment, before placing his hands on top of hers. He glanced over his shoulder at her. She returned the gentle smile before letting him go. One day, they might both be ready to make a pact.  

 “I think he might.”  

Almost out of sight, tucked away in the garden, she saw Lucifer and Diavolo. Their voices were so faint, it’s possible they’d been talking since she sat down. Diavolo, not surprisingly, was smiling. His smiles always seemed more genuine when he was away from the public eye, especially around Lucifer.  

“It’s good though, isn’t it? From what I can tell, Cass and your brothers seem to be form real bonds. This was the goal from the beginning.”  

“It should be. They trust her and are changing because of it. Yet, there’s something about her that’s not letting me put aside my concerns. What if they get hurt again?”  

Diavolo didn’t respond to his question. Cass wondered the same thing. She was only here for a year, really. Lucifer had certainly reminded her of that. The three brothers she had pacts with didn’t have pacts with other humans. What would happen when she left if she couldn’t summon them?  

“If she and Asmo do make a pact, that’ll be four in a few months. An average human dropped here with no memory and yet she’s been able to win over almost half your council. It’d be difficult to make that many pacts with lower-tier demons, let alone my brothers.”  

“She certainly is an enigma.”  

“I can’t say I approve of your eavesdropping, Cass.”  

She jumped at the Barbatos’s comment. How long had he been standing there? “Were you not listening also?”  

“It’s my job to stay close to Lord Diavolo so I can best serve him.”  

“Do you think there’s something else going on? A reason I was chosen for the program or why I have no memory, but have been able to make these pacts?” Cass changed the subject, knowing Barbatos wouldn’t budge.  

“There may not even be a greater plan that brought you to us. Perhaps it’s not an accident either.  There are things in this world that are inevitable, no matter how much we try to change time.”  

Spoken like someone who had tried to change something in the past and failed. “Yesterday, Diavolo said you were running errands for the student council, but I could tell he wasn’t telling the truth. You were looking into my history, weren’t you?”  

“Has anyone told you that you may be far too perceptive for your own safety?”  

Cass released a breathy laugh. “Usually too nosy.” Barbatos smiled. “Were you able to find anything?”  

“Why do you ask?”  

“I’m afraid of the same thing Lucifer is, that they’ll get hurt. I don’t know who I was or what will happen at the end of the year, but at least knowing could help prevent that. Or lessen the pain if it is an inevitability.”  

[jadeoru]

LOVER, PLEASE STAY.

𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓: satoru gojo, 𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: reader.

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: fluff, comfort -- wc: 3k

𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓: being the strongest has an indescribable amount of pros, but it's outweighed by its cons. with such an honor, satoru finds himself unable to open up to you; thinking it would make him weak.

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒: fem!reader (gojo refers to u as gf) hurt/comfort, this is sad :[, pet names (baby, pretty, etc), crying (gojo), gojo being a dumbass and not communicating his feelings, kissing, poor gojo just wants a peaceful life with his gf, probably (definitely) ooc, overall just comfort bc I'm GRIEVING and he needs a hug i think a hug could fix him

you always felt safe when you were with satoru. no matter where you were, or what he was doing, if you called him he’d be there in seconds. maybe it was because he was the strongest, or maybe it was because he truly cared, but you always felt at ease around him. you could tell him anything with no fear of being judged (well, even just teased a little bit). regardless, he was always there for you, and you were so caught up in how he always checked in on you; always making sure you were okay, that you forgot to ask him the same. it wasn’t until when suguru geto left that you realised that beneath it all, satoru gojo was a really fragile man; your realisation solidified when you found him like this. you came home from work earlier than usual, opening the door with exhausted gratitude to finally be home, but, you were greeted with silence. huh. usually, when you got home you were bombarded with affection from the moment you stepped inside; barely one step through the door and he was at your heel like a dog that had been waiting for its owner to return. but now was different. It was eerily quiet compared to every other day. was he even home?

“satoru?” you called out into the hallway, it lingered in the air, until it faded out with no response. ‘weird, maybe he’s asleep or something.’ - it’s a stupid thought, considering how at this time, he’s usually (always) going through/recovering from a huge sugar rush, but it was the only thought that made sense. you took your coat off and placed it on the coat rack, quickly discarding your shoes and placing your bag on the counter before beginning the hunt for your boyfriend.

as you went from room to room, hallway to hallway, you couldn’t help but notice the unsettling feeling of emptiness that replaced his absence. as your search dragged on, you struggled to adjust to the growing pit in your stomach. did someone get him? no. there’s no way. he’s the strongest. you shouldn’t have to worry about that; he said so himself. but, still, you couldn’t shake the gnawing feeling that maybe something did happen. you were so caught up in your thoughts, you almost missed the sound that came from your shared bedroom. almost. it stopped you dead in your tracks; prompting you to quietly make your way to the source of the sound; pressing your ear against the door.  that’s when you heard it again. a quiet; muffled noise. it sounded like sniffling. you almost crashed through the door and face-planted into the carpet when you realised what was happening. was he crying? your hands hesitated around the doorknob, before pulling it open. luckily, you regained your composure the moment the door flung open.

there he was: sitting on the edge of your shared bed, his hands gripping the bedsheets with some sort of desperation; a futile way of grounding himself. his head was down, looking at his knees. almost instantly, his head snapped back to yours. if it weren’t for the blindfold obscuring half of his face, you could’ve probably identified what was happening. or at least, you would’ve gotten a brief idea. for now, all you had was a theory; a thought, that maybe, just maybe, your boyfriend was crying. but how could you make sure of it? hell, you’re talking about satoru gojo; the most stubborn man alive. out of all the years you’d known him, never once had he opened up to you; let alone expressed feeling anything about being even the tiniest bit weak.

“you’re home early.” his voice interrupted your thoughts. it wasn’t as enthusiastic as it usually was, most signs of genuine joy were nowhere to be heard; instead it was laced with faux-optimism. shutting the door behind you, you walked towards the bed and took a seat next to him -taking note of how he didn’t attempt to get his usual ‘welcome home kiss’. while, yes, it’s strange, satoru always made sure to kiss you whenever you got home. treating the act as if it were some sort of ritual, or tradition. but now? he didn’t even try. yeah, he was looking at you, and smiling-(fakely), but there was no way he was actually happy. “yeah, my boss finally freed me from my office. he was complaining about always letting me off early, but i was too busy packing my things and getting the hell outta there to listen.” you chuckled, trying to lighten his mood, even if only by a bit. “yeah? old man finally stopped making you his personal servant?” his voice sounded weak, as if the act of speaking was one of the hardest difficulties he had to endure. you nodded, “yeah, finally.” the room fell silent after you spoke. you could hear the cars driving by outside, and the rain pattering against the window, dancing rhythmically in the air.  there was nothing else to be said. it was unsettling, if anything. silence was something long forgotten when in his presence. you almost had to double check to make sure that was actually satoru beside you, and not some sort of alien. the situation was so… awkward? conversation was attempted, but it didn’t flow as easily as it always did. it was so unlike him, and it was tearing you apart from the inside. your heart panged with distress; slowly unravelling from within you. there was no denying it anymore, the man that sat beside you, who suddenly found staring at the blank wall very interesting, (or at least, in that direction. - blindfold, and whatnot) your satoru, needed help.

and now, you accepted the task that was getting satoru gojo to open up about his emotions. you shifted in your side of the bed, fiddling with your fingers as you searched for something to say, silently hoping that the right words would come to you if you tried hard enough. "you okay?” - not the most poetic and comforting thing, but it was tried and true. “ you know you can talk to me about anything, right?" you asked, your voice soft and caring; each word laced with pure love. he chuckled, "what makes you say that?" he asked, blissfully unaware of how obvious he was being. you noted how he avoided your gaze, instead continuing to focus on the wall in front of you. "you've just been acting a bit distant lately, and you seem upset. I know how you hate talking about your feelings and stuff.. but I've just been worried." you said, leaning into his shoulder. he smiled, without a trace of cockiness. "I'm fine, pretty. you don't need to worry about me - you never do." he added the last part with a bit of hesitancy. because, deep down he knew he was lying. he was lying to you, and to himself. he knew he should open up to you. he knew that if he did, you'd be there for him, supporting him with open arms. but he was scared, petrified. he didnt even know why. it was as if the act of letting out each feeling and thought, releasing the growing balloon of responsibility and insecurity into the open air, would enervate him; make him weak. he was washed away by a wave of shame. if he wasn't constantly the strongest, the bravest, never sad, never worried, perfect boyfriend, then who was? who would take his place? there was something about opening up to you that made him feel weak. like, if he let his confident, fearless facade down, you would turn your head away in disgust.

he knew that he needed help. but the act of letting out each and every vulnerability that he held delicately within him was bordering the line of impossible. he clung onto his title as ‘the strongest’, as if it were the one thing that defined him.

"satoru." you almost whispered, "not a single person on earth lives their life without a voice in their head bringing them down." you began. your hand slid across the white bedsheets until it met with his; resting your hand on top of his. "feeling sad doesn't alienate you from others. it's a normal thing. 

you slowly hovered your other hand above his face, nervously, before you pulled his blindfold down. his eyes were as enchanting as they had always been, but now, they were decorated with tears.

you were right, he was crying. although this was exactly what you had expected to see, the reality was a lot harder to process than you thought.

shockingly enough, that was the first time you had ever seen him cry.

behind the teasing and flirting, all the cocky, boastful comments, was a man full of fear. while, yes, being the strongest had its perks, it was outweighed by an indescribable number of cons; because of his status as the strongest, he always had a bunch of expectations that he had to meet at all times. perfect people couldn't have flaws - that's why they were perfect. he also had to deal with the fact that due to his role in life, eyes on him at all times, you were the second target. when being tasked with the goal of taking down the satoru gojo, their target was always either him or you. everyone with common sense could see how much you meant to him, which meant you would also fall victim to the attempts of taking down the honoured one. he hated it; how he never had a say in the matter - how he was born into greatness. all he wanted was a quiet, safe life with you; a goal he could never reach. it's not like he regrets dating you, it’s just that he hated to have to put you through this.

his cheeks shimmered from the wetness pooling around his eyes, a sight so unlikely you felt overwhelmed by sympathy. it hurt you, both physically and mentally, to see him like this. you felt ashamed of how you hadn’t questioned him sooner, that you hadn’t helped to put the problem at ease before it got out of hand. without saying a word, you scooted closer to him, and pulled him into your chest. he remained perfectly still at the action. the hand that was on his own quickly moved to his hair, running your fingers through it just the way he liked it, the way only you knew how to do. 

“even if you don’t wanna talk, i’m here for you, ‘toru.” the tone of your voice was similar to that of honey; a syrupy sweet kindness, that gojo was sure would rot his teeth if he had too much, but he had a sweet tooth unlike no other.“- i just want you to know that it would be so much easier if you let me know what was going on in that pretty head of yours.” you continued. he nodded, knowing that you were right. he nudged himself closer to you, burying his face into your chest, once again concealing the sadness he had spiralled into. “take all the time you need, ‘toru. i’m not going anywhere.” if that wasn’t enough support, you continued, “even if we stay like this till the sun comes up, if you still aren’t ready to talk, i’ll keep waiting.” you pressed a kiss to the top of his head, to which he let out a strange choking sort of sound in response. It sounded like an exasperated chuckle. “what did i do to deserve you.” he muttered, turning his head as he spoke so his words weren’t muffled by your chest. you held him even tighter, if that was even possible. with a smile as soft as your hold on him, you burrowed your face in his hair, mumbling a quiet “i love you,” which didn’t  land on empty ears. he heard every word, and clung to each syllable that left your lips like they were a lifeboat, and he was lost at sea. you scooped him up like an angel and he found himself replaying those three words over and over again in his mind. he realised that, despite his strength, you made him the strongest. your constant love and support, like water to a plant, helps him achieve his full potential. how could he ever repay you for all that you do to him? 

you hear fabric rustling as he shifts around, tilting his head to the side yet again. “i’ll do anything for you , so… um.. promise me that.. you’ll always stay..” he hesitated. saying those words out loud made him painfully aware of how utterly pathetic he was being. A moment of brief silence passed, and then he continued, “i’ll always be here to keep you safe.. I-. i’ll kill for you if i have to… just please.. please don’t leave me.” his voice cracked at the end of his sentence.

you wanted to speak up, to individually pluck all of these fears from his mind, to allow him to live freely, without carrying the weight of guilt that follows him everywhere; a looming shadow that never seems to leave him no matter how much good he does, or how much evil he removes from the world - none of that can fight away the burden of superiority; the cold, lonely view from the summit. he watches non-sorcerers living their normal lives every day, and behind the blindfold of arrogance that he wears with pride, he’s jealous of them. that’s all he wants in life. - a normal one. despite them being the reason he existed, what he lived to fight, he found that he, himself was the true curse. he was chained to sorcery whether he wanted to be or not. he could never quit, he was needed. he is the best. he saves thousands of people constantly, and does (mostly) nothing but good. and yet, nothing he does will ever bring back his friends - he knows that. but god, he has tried everything to move on.

he continues speaking, a low chuckle leaving his throat. “i’m being really pathetic right now huh? so much for being the stronges-” you cut him off abruptly, your eyes matched his now; glassy and decorated with tears. “satoru.” you began, gently cupping his chin and tilting it upwards, holding eye contact with him. “quit it with that ‘strongest’ bullshit. you have a name. a beautiful name, and you have an incredible personality, and you care for others more than you’d like to admit. having incredible power is just another addition to what makes you such a wonderful person. stop clinging to the title as if it’s a shackle, it’s just another layer to the sweet cake that makes up satoru gojo - and everyone loves cake!”  you flashed a dorky smile at him, cupping his cheek with your hands. he remained speechless, staring into your eyes with almost heart-shaped pupils. he looked like a sad little kitty cat. you sucked in a deep breath, waiting for the right words to come to you before continuing. “i love you. I love you so much that it hurts me to see you hurt. you never have to worry about me leaving you, okay? because, i firmly believe that we were put on this earth to be together. you complete me, baby.” for the first time that night, you saw a genuine smile spread on his face. even though it was small, barely there, you noticed it. “that’s corny.” he mumbled, and you laughed. “i guess it is, isn’t it? but it’s true y’know! you’re everything to me ‘toru. i adore you with every fibre of my being.” you placed a kiss on his forehead, immediately taking note of how he leaned into your touch. “i understand what you feel like right now, or at least i think i do. i know you’ve lost most of the people you love, and nothing i say will fully fill the hole they left with their losses. but, i promise you that i will always be here by your side no matter what. i will always be here for you, okay? so don’t ever forget that. and- and don’t you dare try to hide your sadness from me! i get that sometimes you don’t wanna talk about your feelings, and that’s okay. but please, know that you can talk to me. i don’t want you to ever think otherwise. even if it’s something i can’t help with, i’ll always be here to listen. “ your words were like a sweet relief to his aching mind, alleviating most of his worries by the mere promise of comfort alone. god, he was enamoured by you. he moved his hand from your waist, and placed it on top of your hand, which was currently caressing his cheek. he lifted it to his lips, and pressed a firm kiss to your knuckles. you smiled, your cheeks filling with warmth. “I’ll try to be more open ‘n honest from now on.. I promise” he said with an honest expression on his face. you could tell that he was slowly coming back to his former self. “thank you baby.” you kissed him again, this time on the tip of his nose. “no”, he started tracing delicate circles onto your hand. “thank you for bein’ so sweet. you’re too good for me.” his lips curved into the biggest smile you had seen that evening, the sight was almost enough to bring you to tears. you mirrored his relieved expression.

“c’mon, we still have some mochi left over in the kitchen. let’s get some sweets and cuddle up with a movie, i’ll even let you pick this time! or, if you’d prefer, we could keep talking? sound good?” you asked, slowly standing up. you held your hand out to him, and he grabbed onto it in seconds, allowing you to pull him up. he wrapped his arms around your waist, and nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck. “best girlfriend ever.” he whispered into your skin; his words quickly replaced by goosebumps. you don’t think you could ever stop loving this man.

[froggywritesstuff]

the least judgmental demon in hell | angel dust

ship/pairing: Angel Dust x male!reader (featuring Fat Nuggets)

fandom: Hazbin Hotel

request: Could you possibly do Angel dust x Male!reader? Possibly soft/comfort where Angel dust attempts to comfort the reader after a meltdown or something similar?

warnings: mentions of dead bodies and murder, mentions of harassment towards the reader, mentions of sex, swearing (it's Hazbin Hotel so...), crying, anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, meltdowns, pet names (reader gets called baby multiple times), ooc Angel?, kinda rushed the ending, not entirely proofread 

word count: 1232

A/N: fem readers DNI, Angel Dust is a nwlnw character. I wrote in Fat Nuggets while I was editing so apologies if the writing doesn't flow as much. friendly reminder to not compare trauma :)

Hell isn't the most mental health friendly place to be. Like anyone with common sense, you're not unaware of that, and though not on your own terms, you've gotten used to it. Though it's useless, that doesn't stop you from wishing it was different some days. Wishing that maybe on your walks to the hotel you wouldn't trip over a dead body, or get harassed by other sinners, or witness a violent murder or very graphic sex scene. You were grateful that some days were better than others. However, today was not one of those days. And after an entire week of shitty days, it was too much for you.

You were on the edge of tears when you entered the hotel, ready to have a good cry in your room while hopefully cuddling with your boyfriend, but fate had other plans. More accurately, Charlie had other plans. You never allowed yourself to feel angry with Charlie. After all she had done for you, and all the other hotel patrons, working tirelessly for what seemed like a hopeless cause. However you did allow yourself to feel upset with her bad timing.

Barely a second after you returned to the hotel, she dragged you over to the lounge, rambling about one of her new trust exercises she'd come up with. Normally, Charlie would've been able to sense something was up with you in seconds, but she was clearly driven by her inspiration, too excited to slow down.

Your hands fidgeted together, your legs bouncing up and down as Charlie explained her idea. You tried to pay attention, you truly did. But you could barely even comprehend a word she was saying. Everything was too loud and your head felt like it was gonna explode.

"Hey," you felt a hand on your shoulder and looked up to your side, meeting the black, white and pink eyes of Angel. You calmed slightly at the touch of his hand, and you were able to focus on his voice, "You ok?"

You nodded. You knew he could tell you weren't ok in the slightest. He was more than familiar with faking smiles and bottling up feelings. Luckily for you, he didn't pry, instead choosing to stay close and keep an eye on you, figuring you'd much rather prefer to vent or cry to him in private.

When Charlie finished explaining her idea, she met your eyes and gestured for you to stand. A wave of stress hit you, and you did your best to hide it as you stood up, moving to stand beside her in front of everyone. You tried to focus on what she was telling you, you really did, but the overwhelming tightening in your chest paired with multiple pairs of eyes on you made it impossible. Surprisingly, you felt a million times worse when she stopped talking. You don't think she had stopped talking since you walked in the room, so her silence meant she was expecting you to start talking. 

You looked around the room, your breaths getting shallower with every second. Charlie gently placed her hand on your shoulder, a concerned look on her face. She asked if you were ok, her voice quiet so only you could hear. You don't remember clearly, but you're pretty sure you shook your head before apologising and excusing yourself. Voices called out to you in concern as you sped up the stairs, making your way to your room as quickly as possible.

You closed the door behind you, leaning your back against it and sliding down to the floor. Tears streamed from your eyes while you held your head in your hands, trying to take deep breaths to calm yourself.

A knock sounded at the door, and you quickly wiped your tears away and cleared your throat, "Wh-who is it?"

"It's me." you recognised Angel's voice, his tone quieter than usual, "Can I come in?"

You jumped to your feet and rushed to the door, opening it and pulling Angel in. He was quick to hold you close, wrapping his arms around you, running his hands up and down your back to calm you.

"Just breathe baby," he whispered soothingly, his voice like music to your ears, "You're gonna be ok, I've got you."

Your breathing calmed down after a while, not before Angel lifted you off your feet - rather easily considering his height. He shut the door and gently sat you down on your bed, his hold on you never wavering as he sat beside you.

"You feelin' a little better?"

Shrugging, you pulled out of the hug, nodding your head yes.

Two of Angel's hands cupped your face gently, his thumbs wiping your tears away, while another set of hands rested on your shoulders, rubbing them softly, "You wanna talk about it?"

That would be harder to do than just breathing. You thought you were being over dramatic, getting so upset over small things every sinner goes through. Especially when you were sitting in front of Angel Dust. It's not that you doubted his love for you, but there was a small part in the back of your mind making you think he'd belittle your feelings and tell you that you were getting worked up over nothing.

"I dunno," you shrugged, "It's silly."

"Hey," Angel lifted your head slightly, getting you to meet his eyes, "You don't have to tell me if you don't wanna, but clearly it's not that silly if it's got you cryin'." you stayed quiet, and Angel could tell you were overthinking this, "Baby, you know me. I'll listen to you. I won't judge you for nothin'."

You hesitated, and Angel stood up from the bed, kissing your cheek before he stood to his full height, "Wait here," he said, hurrying out of your room and into the hallways until you couldn't see him anymore. Thankfully, you weren't alone for too long, and he arrived soon after he left, entering your room with Fat Nuggets in his arms.

You lit up at the sight of him, smiling widely when Angel sat back on the bed and placed him in your lap.

"If you're nervous, you can tell him." he pet Fat Nuggets on the head, "He's the least judgmental demon in Hell."

A soft laugh left your lips at his words. Fat Nuggets sat himself down on your lap as you pet him. You looked up at Angel, heart warming at his reassuring smile. Still slightly hesitant, you proceeded to explain everything that led up to your meltdown. And while you mainly directed it at Fat Nuggets, Angel listened intently, giving you his full attention just like he said he would. When you were finished talking, Angel wrapped his arms around you again, pulling you - and Fat Nuggets into a hug.

"Do you feel better now?"

"Yeah..."

"Good. And it's not dumb, baby. When you don't talk about these things, they just add up and get overwhelming. You know you can always talk to me about anything, right?"

You nodded, before resting your head in the crook of his neck, "Thank you, Angel."

“Eh, it was nothin’.” he chuckled softly, before he pulled away from the hug to look you in the eyes, “I love you so much.”

You smiled. Both his words and the caring smile on his face making your heart swell, “I love you too.”

[ohdeerfully]

Hello

I live

Well, barely

OMG ISTG I JUST REREAD LIKE ALL OF YOUR FICS I'M GOING SGSJDGDJHFJDY

Your writing. I swear. It's so good. Like when I read any other alastor x reader fic I have this nasty voice in the back of my head going 'He wouldn't do this'. THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN HERE

You are a genius. (Thabk you for speepy Alastor coming from an insomniac is good praise, no?)

My personal favourites are

a. Either of the sleepy Alastoe fics (obviously)

b. Dry bed. Istg the writing in that.. Augh

Could you do a part two to Dry bed? Maybe they just wake up (Together!!!) and awkwardly get their way down to breakfast. Then they simply avoid each other all day, not talking, but still stealing glances at each other when the other isn't looking. Then reader finds Alastor chilling on the hotel roof the following night and they TALK about it. And figure things out.

Omg thabk you for listening to my rant I hope you are doing well byeeee

~❤✨

P. S. You and your fics are my new hyperfixation

hello!!!!! in general sorry yall for my absence, finals are literally next week so it Will happen again

im so glad u like my depiction of alastor hes literally so annoying to write... a dry bed is honestly probably one of if not THE fave fic ive written (though might be a tie with mourning dove) so i hope part ii does it a bit of justice (,: i kind of deviated from ur request at the beginning (they dont wake up together >_<) but otherwise i hope u enjoy! hopefully its not too obvious i kind of rushed it

mwah! <3

A Warm Bed

(sequel to A Dry Bed)

Alastor x Reader (hurt/comfort, fluff) TW: none really, alastor is probs ooc but who cares

join my discord!

═══ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ═══

It felt a little bit too cold when you woke up, but you couldn’t immediately find a reason why. Your eyes squinted open, facing the curtains that were drawn just enough to where a peek of the morning light rudely shone against your face. You turned over with a dissatisfied groan.

Peering at the empty bed beside you, you stared blankly as wheels began to turn in your mind. It only took a few seconds to remember the previous night, and your face quickly warned as you hissed in a breath through clenched teeth, wrists coming up and rubbing your eyes with a sense of dismay.

Man, what were you thinking. You felt a strong mixture of regret and embarrassment but also… you felt lonely. The strong, strange affection from Alastor the previous night directly compared to him disappearing and leaving you alone in the morning made you feel all the more cold. The room also had an uncomfortable silence to it, but at the same time too loud with the hum of your ceiling fan.

Whatever, you feigned indifference to yourself and lifted yourself from your mattress, legs dangling over the side of your bed for a few moments, allowing yourself to get a quick stretch in before sliding on some comfortable slippers while you went to your restroom, protecting your feet against the cold tile.

You quickly freshened up, pulling on some comfortable loungewear before leaving your hotel room and walking down the long corridor that led to the steps. Maybe it was just your current mood, but the ambience was too quiet and uncomfortable.

Your spirits slowly lifted as you made your way down the steps, and you could hear the faint clashing of kitchen tools being dropped and thrown, alongside unintelligible and arguing voices, one doubtlessly being Vaggie trying to tame—or, no, threaten—the chaos.

The air, at the very least, smelled good despite the racquet. Though you were in Hell, the food was still appetizing—even if you weren’t exactly sure what it was half the time.

You must’ve made it just in time, as right when you turned the corner you nearly hit your head against Charlie’s shoulder as she rounded the same corner. You tripped over each other for a moment before she ultimately steadied you with a hand and a breezy laugh.

"Good morning! I was just about to tell everyone breakfast was ready…” You smiled at her gesture. Every morning she tried to host some sort of typical continental style breakfast that was standard for most hotels—that is if Niffty’s behavior permitted a successful morning—and the quality was usually higher than what you remembered in your time alive. Of course, you were dealing with the Princess of Hell, who obviously wouldn’t want anything mediocre for her treasured guests.

“Thank you,” was all you could offer in return before she passed you, doubtlessly to gently announce the food to the other guests. There had been an increase in residents lately, so you weren’t shocked at the piles of delicious looking food that met your eyes when you stepped into the kitchen. You could practically imagine sparkles dancing around the fluffy pancakes and still sizzling pans of various breakfast meats.

You helped yourself to a meal, carefully stepping around the growing crowd of other guests, who all, for the most part, seemed a little aggravated at being woken up but nonetheless pleased at the free meal.

A brief hush filled the room as the air seemed to get just a bit heavier, more ominous, alongside the new presence of a prickling against your skin. You didn’t have to look up, nor did you even want to look up, to know who the culprit of such a suffocated atmosphere was; you knew him well enough.

The kitchen slowly came back to life, albeit a bit stiffer and with quieter conversation. You kept your eyes glued to your plate of food as you made your way towards the dining area. As you passed through the entrance, out of your peripheral you saw the large, looming figure of the demon you had become unnaturally attached to. You didn’t look up or even acknowledge him, pretending to just not notice, but you could swear you felt his red gaze burning a hole in your skin.

A few minutes passed after you sat down before Alastor joined you, sitting in his unofficial assigned seat. The only difference was he didn’t scoot his chair nearly as close as usual, as well as the way his body was turned just slightly so that his back was facing you. Not enough to be noticed by other people, but just enough for you—though, maybe you were just overanalyzing things?—to notice how he was pointedly uninviting you from any interactions with him.

Why even bother coming to breakfast, you thought coldly to yourself, deciding to just feel mad about it instead of stewing in your own self-hate and regret. You had already spent all morning feeling stupid for the night before. It’s not like you even eat this shit. Go eat a dead deer or something.

Your fork poked aggressively against the food on your plate, head propped up against a fist as you mindlessly scooted the food around in a pool of syrup. You hoped to convey some sense of hatred to the demon next to you as you jammed a fluffy bite of pancake into your mouth—oh, that’s so good, your spirits were lifted just a bit as the slightly sweet and buttery pancake touched your tongue.

A hand touched your back, and you jolted in surprise. Naturally your eyes first went to Alastor next to you, thinking maybe he was finally over himself, but he had his hands folded on the table in front of him as he watched another table argue over something probably meaningless. Maybe you’re crazy, but did you see his eyes flick to your just as you looked away? You shook off the idea.

Vaggie sat to your right, and was currently eyeing you with a hint of concern in her eye. You shrugged off her hand as politely as possible before smiling at her with a raised eyebrow, trying to play it off with an ‘I’m alright.’

“People that are ‘alright’ don’t usually have some personal vendetta against a plate of breakfast food,” She said in a low voice, trying to keep your conversation private, particularly from a certain set of prying, fluffy red ears. “You know you have friends here. Especially Charlie.”

“Really, I’m all good, just… long morning,” You did your best to wave away her worries again, suddenly feeling a little childish. From the way she spoke, you would think she was talking to someone going through something serious—you were just having some guy problems.

It seemed to work well enough, because after looking at you for a few more beats she raised her hand and turned away, picking up a conversation with her girlfriend. You sat in your spot for a few more minutes, but the growing anxiety from silently and awkwardly sitting next to Alastor, sifting through so many racing thoughts and doubts, gnawed at your stomach. You finally stood up and excused yourself with a thank you and left the room.

You had no specific place to be, so you just wandered into the lobby and slumped against a couch. You briefly wondered where Angel was; he was surprisingly good at listening to romantic troubles, though honestly you probably wouldn’t divulge your whole “thing” with Alastor. That would probably meet no welcomed response.

You must have dozed off, because the sudden sound of raised voices startled your eyes open. Arguments and general anger were commonplace here, so you weren’t particularly shocked to find Vaggie and Angel Dust going at it about something regarding his behavior and the Hotel—a recurring theme in their conversations. Vaggie’s words fell on deaf ears as Angel tutted at her words with a waving and dismissive hand.

“I’m sure ninety percent of these guests would love to have a piece’a me!” He said, taking long strides across the room as he fixed up his chest fluff with two hands. He leaned his hip against the large chair that, much to your dismay, sat Alastor, his grin tightening as Angel approached. His eyes narrowed suspiciously as the spider laid his torso across the head of the chair.

“Even this one…” Angel said with a pouty lilt in his voice, finger dragging up the embellishments as he tried to play flirty. Alastor clicked his tongue distastefully in response before he stood up, hands folding neatly across the top of his cane.

“Not quite to my taste, thank you!” He said, looking down at Angel with an ugly curl in his lip. Angel only huffed in response before slinking down the back of the chair and taking up the space where Alastor previously sat, leaving said demon just standing there.

Alastor’s eyes glanced at you, so brief that you honestly may have imagined it, before he simply hummed with closed eyes and melted into the ground, the shadow where he once stood inking across the carpet before finally coming to a rest… behind the couch where you were laying. You grimaced as you felt his presence manifest again, sending a ripple of that familiar prickle down your bare arms.

Was this going to be your eternity now? Playing some game of cat and mouse where you have to leave every room you’re in just because Alastor gets too close for comfort? You turned your head to try to get a look at him from the corner of your eye, but immediately looked away again when you saw he was already looking at you. You couldn’t read his expression.

You sat up and thought for a few moments. Honestly, it was probably best to just go spend a depression day alone in your room. As pushy as Alastor could be, he wasn’t typically the type to barge into rooms without invitation.

Slowly standing, you managed to avoid the attention of the couple of others in the room—though, realistically, none would care if they happened to see you leave; you were just on edge to everyone and everything. You quickly made your way up the stairs, frowning down at your feet as you walked. You shot a sideways glance at Alastor as you rounded a turn in the steps, finally meeting his gaze for a few seconds before your view was blocked by the wall.

You sighed as you found yourself in front of your hotel room, a heavy feeling making you suddenly choke up. You ushered yourself into the room before you embarrassed yourself by crying openly in the hallway, but the comforting solitude of your room as you leaned your back against the door to close it made it a bit easier to breathe.

After ensuring the door was locked, you went to stand at the edge of the bed, frowning down at the still unmade sheets. Thoughts of that tender night came to the front of your mind at full force, and you bit your lip anxiously. The warmth of his body against yours, the tangle of legs and soft touches of lips… was it all actually, in a cruel turn of reality, a fake expression of care from him? When you had finally begun to think you could read the affection on his face…

You settled into the soft mattress, uncomfortably aware of how big and cold it was. You were no stranger to sleeping alone by any means, but after finally experiencing the shared space with someone you loved, the contrast was stark and unwelcomed. You did your best to ignore it as you tucked yourself in, letting your eyes fall shut in a poor attempt to sleep away your worries.

Your attempts were unsuccessful, and an empty feeling of longing and despair in your stomach grew stronger with each hour that passed as you watched the red hue of the daylight sky turn darker. You felt both restless and tired at the same time, lacking any energy to actually do anything to pass the time. 

It all proved to be counterintuitive to the whole “sleep your worries away” as the hours you spent just lying down only gave you ample opportunity to melt in your own thoughts as the memories of last night kept returning. Man, why did you have to kiss him? You unwittingly ignored the fact that he had also played a part in closing that gap between you; you were honestly just pinning the blame fully on yourself.

Finally sick of stewing in misery, you kicked off the heavy blanket and stood up. You needed some fresh air. 

You tried to walk quickly with a fake sense of purpose so, in the odd chance you passed someone, they hopefully wouldn’t ask about your absence all day—you were typically more present and friendly with everybody as you would often help Charlie with event organization. Lucky enough for you, you passed nobody on your way to the door that opened to some stairs up to the roof of the Hotel.

After a quick pace up the echoey, metal steps, you pushed open the large doors and greeted with a pleasantly cool rush of wind. It was still warm, of course, being Hell and all, but cooler than usual. You quietly closed the heavy doors behind you.

There was a spot on the roof you typically sat at during long, restless nights, and you turned the corner of the door before promptly backtracking and pressing yourself up against the metal door once again, jaw clenched in a mix of shock and anger.

Why the Hell was Alastor on the roof at your spot with your blanket that you had left up here on some previous night? Was he doing all this on purpose? Constantly getting all too close to you while simultaneously acting cool and indifferent towards your existence? Was this all just some sick game to him? Well… it is Alastor.

You peeked over the edge from where you hid to get a better look at him. He sat serenely with his back towards you, legs hanging over the edge of the roof. You couldn’t see his expression, but his body waved just slightly, most likely to the tune of some song in his head. Despite all the frustration you felt in your soul towards him, looking at him under the blanket of a dark red sky with a sprinkling of stars… he still endeared you. Especially when he looked so harmless and relaxed.

Just as you were about to turn away again and find somewhere else to relax, he cleared his throat, stopping you before you could even move.

“It’s rude to stare,” He stated, projecting his voice just enough for you to hear the light humor in his voice. “You seem like a stalker, darling!”

You straightened your shoulders before walking out from behind the wall, a frown on your face. You didn’t walk any closer—God forbid you accidentally do anything to hurt your relationship anymore, if that was even possible.

“I didn’t mean to, I was just… surprised, that’s all,” You reasoned, tapping your foot impatiently. “You are kind of in my spot.”

He hummed, absently pointing at the surface around him. “I didn’t see your name on it.” 

You couldn’t really think of a response quickly, so you just stayed quiet, continuing to just stand in place a few meters away from Alastor.

He briefly put his hand down on the space next to him, patting twice in a vague invitation for you to join him. You thought for a brief moment before cautiously walking towards him, steps growing slower with each foot you got closer. He made no move to send you away—in fact, he even started moving the blanket in a way to make the concrete just a bit more comfortable to sit on. He still didn’t look at you.

Embarrassingly your hands had started to shake, which you realized when you reached your hand down to support your body as you lowered it to sit. You just hoped Alastor didn’t notice. You let your legs fall over the ledge, swinging slightly next to Alastor’s. You didn’t notice how he shifted his knee a bit closer to yours.

The two of you sat in silence under the still-darkening sky, and you couldn’t decide if it was a comfortable or awkward silence. Alastor didn’t seem to mind, so you tried to convince yourself it was comfortable despite the itching anxiety in your chest.

“I’m really sorry about last night,” You blurted out, unable to contain it anymore. Was it a bad idea to even bring it up? Maybe. But you felt that your relationship was already irreparably damaged so it couldn’t hurt to at least apologize. You saw his eyes turn towards you out of your peripheral, and you were too ashamed to meet his look, instead opting to fiddle with a fray of the blanket edge.

“Whatever for?” He responded after an uncomfortably long pause—this stunned you. Fuck you mean ‘whatever for?’ Your head whipped up to look at him, brows furrowed.

You had spent all die scared that you ruined everything between you and Alastor, regretting everything that led up to last night’s events—it didn’t help that Alastor himself was also blatantly avoiding you. What the fuck is he acting so confused for?

Apparently you said that all out loud, as Alastor’s smile was growing more and more strained with each loud word that tumbled from your lips. You didn’t even realize until you were done and catching your breath, but at this point you couldn’t care less to apologize or feel bad about it. You folded your arms and fixated your eyes on some random pedestrian below as another long stretch of silence filled the air.

“You confuse me,” He finally said, with a voice that lacked its usual radio tone. You didn’t respond, so he continued. “I feel these alien emotions when I’m near you—you bewitch me. And I don’t like it. I hate you for it.”

You couldn’t control the slight slump in your shoulders and the sharp pang in your stomach that his words brought you. Hate. 

“But… I kill the demons I hate,” He said, looking away from you and up at the sky. “And I can’t find myself wanting to kill you. That has to mean something, though I’m really no man to figure it out myself.”

You cautiously returned your eyes back to him, shoulders curled forward as if to protect yourself against the blow of any harsh words. But, as he spoke, you felt that anxiety slowly lighten as you pieced together what he was trying to convey in his own strange way. Although, you weren’t really sure what to say in response, filled with too many swarming emotions—both new and old. 

Suddenly you looked at the space between the two of you—was Alastor’s hand there just a minute ago? You looked up to try to get any hint of his goals; but, unsurprisingly, he remained unreadable. It was definitely safer to just ignore it.

Well, that got a lot harder when his pinkie finger stretched towards you just a bit, practically inviting you. You looked at his face one more time, swallowed your fear, and tenderly laid your hand down next to his. You moved it cautiously closer, just enough so that your pinkie touched his own. His lifted up and curled over yours, tightening in a way to bring the rest of your hand closer and enveloping it with his own. Your gaze was fixated on this exchange and you felt heat warm your cheeks and ears.

You both said nothing, but you thought the pounding in your ears would drown out any attempt.

Your attention finally broke from the hands that now clasped together between the two of you, turning up towards Alastor. You found that he had been looking at you with such an intensity it made you feel like an open book before him. His eyes had a slight glow to them now that the sky had fully darkened—eyes that were usually so malicious and secretive seemed to now burn with what you could only assume was affection.

“I can’t promise I’ll be a good man,” He finally broke the silence. His smile was small but strained, and his voice uncharacteristically quiet. 

In response you shook your head with a breathless laugh, tightening your hand just slightly around his as you focused on the street below, watching the scattered presence of night owl demons.

“I probably couldn’t promise the same, either,” You admitted, leaning back and stretching out your legs in the open air over the ledge of the roof. You froze momentarily when Alastor shifted a bit closer, his knee now barely knocking against yours.

He reached his hand out, fingers curling gingerly but firm over your chin and pulling your face closer to his. He examined your face for a moment, red eyes trailing over every curve of your features before settling back to look into your eyes.

“But I can promise, cher,” The new name he referred to you as made the already present flush in your cheeks only intensify. “That as long as you own what’s left of my heart, no demon in Hell can keep you away from me. Not even you.”

His words were spoken almost like a threat in an ominously low tone, that heavy radio affliction dripping from his words. In his eyes was a sudden look of sinister intensity and devotion, something you had never even dreamed of seeing, especially from him and especially towards you. As menacing as the words seemed, you couldn’t stop the wry smirk that inched up your lips, slightly smushed between his fingers that still firmly held your head in place.

“I’d like to see anyone try,” You responded in an attempt to match his energy. This seemed good enough for him, as his smile lifted for a moment as he released you from his grasp and faced forward again.

You yawned and stretched out your arms above your head, popping a few bones in your back before you stood. He followed suit, deftly touching his clothes with one hand to smooth any wrinkles or crooked buttons—his other was still holding your own.

He stepped closer, nearly pressed against you, when suddenly the atmosphere around you seemed to melt in a swirl of black before being replaced with the familiar decor of your hotel room. He gave you a light nudge and you fell back onto the bed.

After recuperating and settling, you watched him from your spot on the bed as he draped off his coat and slacks before joining you in the sheets. His body language was tense and unsure, but to your own pleasure the stiffness in his shoulders lightened just a bit when your hands tenderly rubbed against his skin.

The bed that was only hours before too big and too cold was now inviting with the warmth of Alastor’s body against your own, his scent filling your nose with every inhale as his hair brushed against your cheek. Every movement was a shaky blur as you were still filled with a sense of disbelief and maybe a little bit of adrenaline from the unexpected switch-up from him. The mattress dipped and creaked as he tried to make himself comfortable, which took an awkward few seconds, but after finally settling in you found yourself laid against his chest, fingers trailing down his skin.

Alastor’s own clawed fingers trailed through your hair and he hummed the quietest tune, lulling you further into an exhaustion that you didn’t realize had been creeping up on you. You fell asleep to a comfort that you hoped you wouldn’t have to spend another day in eternity without.

[freak-accident419]

a lack of color

Derek Danforth x GN!Reader

JHutch Promptober: Day 11 - BEACH

Summary: You and Derek used to date for a few years until it just stopped working out; your wants in life were just too tragically diverged. You continued to stay best friends as you had been before, but one day, on a midnight walk along the shore, things change… for the better.

Word Count: 2.2k

Content: 18+ smut, MDNI, gender-neutral reader, penetration (no specific genitals for reader), reader and Derek are exes, slightly OOC Derek, semi-public sex, missionary, riding, brief oral sex (both sides receiving), not a smut as descriptive as my other ones

(A/n: I so badly wanted to do at least one of my dear friend @joshfutturman/Skye’s JHutch Promptober prompts, and I finally had the time to :D ps i love you sm bb <33 This wasn’t really proofread, I wrote this in a day so I apologize if it seems rushed. I wanted to write something before I might go on a hiatus—unless i really want to write my derek halloween party smut… but anyways, thank you everyone for still supporting me. i appreciate it so much. title is from a song by death cab for cutie.)

-

The cold breeze burned your cheeks pink, covering your arms in goosebumps with every footstep.

After a group function at a secluded beach, you and Derek stayed behind, walking along the shoreline as the waves crashed to your feet, passing a vape back and forth. The moonlight softly shined on your bodies like a chilly flashlight, following your tranquil stroll.

It wasn’t awkward, but it didn’t feel too right either. After all, you two were exes. It used to be a long, healthy, and loving relationship, but the inevitable events of life just decided that you two weren’t truly compatible. There was no heat, no shouted arguments, but a tragic, cold acceptance and mutual understanding. You two just had different paths in life.

The tip of the vape lit up as Derek took a drag quietly, taking the pen in his hand as he blew out a fruity cloud from his lips. With him by your side, you remembered how beautiful he was, especially with the moonlight against his face. He was always so beautiful to you, and you could feel your palms warm up as you remembered how soft he felt when you held his face.

The two of you continued your midnight stroll, a few pointless conversation passing the time. Until you blurted something that you didn’t realize had bothered you so much.

“So… How are things with Claire?”

Shit. It’s like your mouth had a mind of its own.

Lately, Derek has been telling you and the friend group about a girl he was attempting to pursue. They were in some kind of talking stage, that is if you even cared enough to properly pay attention. No. It shouldn’t bother you. It doesn’t. It hasn’t. The two of you moved on, your ex was allowed to date new people.

Derek felt his mouth dry as he heard you ask that. Then he gulped, feeling guilty and not even knowing specifically why. He even felt bothered to have to talk to you about her. It didn’t matter to you, he just wanted to talk about the random shit you always would, like old times. It didn’t matter to him.

Old times. Dammit.

“Oh, uh…” Usually, if he was speaking to anyone else, like a friend in your group, he would say something along the lines of ‘great, we’re really hitting it off’ or ‘I asked her out and she said yes’. Something simple yet suggestive, even. Except he said… “Nothing much.”

You scoffed in disbelief. That was all he could say? “Nothing much? That’s all?” You ask.

Derek shrugs carelessly. Carelessly. As if this girl was completely irrelevant to him in every aspect she may apply to.

The two of you continued walking as you felt the sloshy, muddy sand tickle your feet every time the salty waves caressed it before returning back.

“I just…” Derek scoffs lightly, stopping in his tracks, in which you followed. “She…” He shakes his head, running a hand through his bleached curls. “She doesn’t compare to you, okay?”

There was a short silence as you stood there in slight shock, hearing just the gentle crash of the tide. Derek’s eyes burned into yours, but alike a comforting flame in the freezing snow.

“Nobody ever will. You were—” He slightly paces back and forth, feeling not only distressed, but even mortified. “You were the most amazing, smart, and talented person I knew. You’re incomparable to anyone else, and you’re so… fucking beautiful. Y/n, you… you were always too good to me and I just… wanted to change for the better because of you. Hell, I stopped the shit with UDG and Nine Star, and every single fucking scam I’ve been involved in, knowing that it was one of the reasons why we broke up. Goddammit, Y/n, why did we break up? We shouldn’t have broken up. I—I know I didn’t give you a reason to stay, but… You are the only person I can imagine myself with. You know that?”

You were speechless, ultimately deaf to his pleas, which were desperate repetitions of ‘please say something’s. Derek was always so soft with you, but somehow even more vulnerable during the night. The most honest and genuine version of Derek was always when he was around you.

All of your better judgements dissipated as your palms gently reached out for his face, cupping his cheeks as you pressed your lips against his. For Derek, it was instinctive and even expected, kissing you back deeply and passionately with no hesitance whatsoever.

Derek Danforth was supposed to be your ex-boyfriend, your ex-lover. But—

“I never stopped loving you,” he mutters between kisses, placing his hands on your waist, sliding under your shirt to pull you in closer. Every time you kissed Derek, it felt like fireworks were going off. No matter how many times you’ve done it in the past, no matter how it had been forever since you’ve kissed him, there were sparks regardless.

He laid you down gently on the thick blanket over the sand, which you retrieved from your car that you brought for today’s earlier occasion. Even though this was a pretty secluded area, you two decided to move to a more hidden spot by a few giant rocks, as this was already risky.

Lying on your back, Derek laid on top of you, kissing your lips passionately. His hands trapped both sides of your head while yours held the back of his neck.

Derek poured all of his love for you into this deep kiss, subtly grinding his hips against yours. You began to moan as his lips left yours to nip and suck the skin of your neck, bringing his hands to your clothed hips. He continued pressing kisses to your neck as you felt his hands slip under your shirt, rubbing your sides affectionately. God, how you missed this.

His lips went back to yours as his hands caressed your waist and up your stomach, softly running his palms up higher until he broke the kiss to lift your shirt off your torso. After throwing the piece of clothing to the side, his face was buried back in your neck with the intention of leaving dark purple marks.

His lips trailed down while he simultaneously reached for the waistband of your pants, leaving open mouthed kisses to your collarbone and chest. He fumbled with the button, unzipping it once he popped it, and dragged your pants down off your legs.

The way the bright moonlight lit up your smooth skin was absolutely gorgeous.

Immediately, Derek removed his own shirt, throwing it on the pile of clothing to the side as he reached for another passionate kiss against your lips, grabbing on both of your wrists as he placed them over your head. Then he kissed at your neck, grip loosening the farther down your body he got.

Derek finally released your wrists, placing his hands on your hips as he kissed down your body, from your chest to your stomach. His lips kissed the skin right above the waistband of your underwear, his eyes gazing into yours with need. Derek then hooked his fingers under the waistband, dragging your underwear down and off your body.

He let out a muttered swear of awe, kissing your inner thighs exuberantly until he began to kiss and lick your heat. You let out a soft moan, instinctively arching your back at the first point of contact until your body calmed down, resting back against the blanket. Derek’s hands gripped onto your plush thighs as his mouth worked on your sensitive flesh, making you place your hands in his hair and lightly tug on it. He left one final kiss before pulling away. Derek wished to rush the foreplay, as all he wanted to do was make love to you again, like the many times he did when he was still with you.

You sat up and kissed his lips while unbuckling his belt. Then you popped the button and unzipped it so you could help him remove his pants completely. You gripped on both waistbands of his pants and boxers, saving time as you undressed him fully.

The two of you were naked together in the dark by the ocean.

Your hand wrapped around his already half-hard cock, hearing his breath hitch as you slowly stroked him against your palm. You left small kitten licks against the tip before engulfing his cock in your mouth, gaining a loud moan and gasp from your ex-lover. After you bobbed your head a couple times, pleasing him, you pulled away, feeling him lay you back down against the blanket, pinning you to it.

“I’ve missed this,” he mutters quickly, “I’ve missed you. So much.”

“I missed you too,” you whisper before he captures your lips in another deep kiss, positioning and lining himself up with you. “I never stopped loving you either.”

Breaking the kiss, Derek watched your reaction as you felt his cock gradually enter and stretch your entrance, mouth opening as you let out a long moan. Your hands reached his back, feeling his warm skin against your palms as he pushed in as deep as he could.

He began to slowly thrust, rocking his hips against yours as you felt his cock stroke your walls, grunting and moaning at the feeling. “Fuck, I’ve missed you good you felt,” he huffs, picking up the pace, “feels so fucking good…”

Your legs wrap around his waist, pushing him in deeper, Derek’s arousal for you only growing. His pace increased until the sounds of the waves were overpowered by the sound of lewd, wet flesh and skin slapping against skin.

Derek’s mouth gapes open as he continues to moan, grabbing your leg forcefully and placing it over his shoulder. “I was such a fucking idiot to let you go,” he mutters shamefully as you whine and whimper under him in pleasure.

After a few satisfying thrusts, he gently lets your leg back down so he could lower himself and kiss your lips passionately as he fucked you deeply. The kiss was difficult to sustain as you two moaned from each movement, his cock persistently sliding in and out of your hole.

“I want you to ride me, can you do that for me, baby?” He whispers gruffly. You nod almost immediately.

Whining as he pulls out, you switched positions as Derek lied against the blanket with you straddling his waist. His hands grab your hips, giving you the cue to line up your entrance with his cock and sink down, the two of you moaning as he was completely inside of you.

Your palms are pressed against his flat chest as you began to grind against him, seeking your own self-pleasure before your hips shifted up and down. Your tight, warm walls gripped his throbbing cock as he sighed in pleasure, beginning to guide your hips with his hands. Your sounds grew louder as he thrusted up inside you, following your own movements against him.

As Derek soon acknowledged how close the both of you were, he flipped you two over to go back in that same missionary position of before.

His arms hooked under yours as he began to pound you, thrusting roughly and quickly inside of you with his face buried in your neck. Your moans were more high pitched as his cock rammed into your hole, so hard and desperately so.

Your fingernails dug into his back, Derek letting out a gruff moan as you dragged them down his skin in pleasure.

“Ah—ah—fuck, Derek—” you moan softly, whining under him as he made passionate love to you. You began to feel your core and stomach tighten, your legs squirming under him. “M—mm, I’m close—”

“Mm, that’s it, baby,” he mutters, placing one hand on your thigh, squeezing the flesh and spreading it apart from your other thigh for more access, “cum for me, love, let me hear it…”

His throbbing cock continued to thrust harshly inside of you, your eyelids heavy as the satisfying sensation was so familiar. Everything felt so good, especially as he angled himself deep into your sweet spot, hitting it perfectly every thrust.

And finally, you tensed up, nails digging in the skin of his back as you moan loudly in pleasure, reaching your orgasm, walls clenching around Derek’s cock. This immediately brought him to his peak, groaning and releasing his warm, white cum deep inside of you.

Derek rode out his high, slowly sliding in and out of you, even wanting to keep his cum in you—claiming you in that way, almost. Then he came to a stop, but stayed inside, the warmth of your body bringing him comfort.

You two kissed lovingly, relieved to have had this night once again after a long time. Then Derek pressed a kiss to your forehead, looking into your eyes with utter admiration.

“Can we… Can we try this again?” You whisper silently. “Try ‘us’ again?”

Of course, there should have been a reason why you two broke up in the first place. But the more you think about it, the more you realize how impulsive it really was. You still loved him so much and he loved you. You two should’ve worked out your problems instead of accepting a quick, stupid fate.

Derek nodded to your words, connecting his lips with yours once again. “Please.”

[hope-drunk]

- crush | a. anderson

| abby walks in on you at the wrong (or right) time

| content warning: inexperienced but not naive reader, female masturbation, oral (r receiving), strength kink kinda, pet names (sweetheart, baby), idrk this is pretty tame, probably ooc bc my first time writing abby, a lot of the word patrol

After doing a long, long day of rounds, all you wanted to do was relax. There were more infected than usual at the checkpoints. Once you finally get back to base, you’re quick to strip off your dirty clothes and take a hot shower. After you get out, you put on an oversized t-shirt and a pair of soft shorts.

Happy to be back in your room, you lay down, shimmying under the covers rapidly. Your muscles were heavily fatigued, and you felt drowsier with every passing minute, but you knew something that would get you to sleep even faster.

Using one hand to rub your nipple, you move the other down, teasing the seam of your underwear before sinking your hand lower to rub your clit. A soft sigh creeps out of your mouth as you feel instant relief. You speed up slightly, not wanting to rush yourself, but naturally chasing your high. While you focus on your pleasure, your mind drifts to a memory.

Abby was running her calloused hands through your hair. She had been begging to braid it for a few months, always going on about how convenient it was. You eventually caved in, you were never able to say no to her for long. While your fingers were hard at work, you imagined Abby’s, gently pulling your hair, making sure the braid was tight.

She kept complimenting you while she did it.

“Your hair is so soft.”

And also reprimanding you.

“Can’t believe you’ve never let me do this.”

You had to squeeze your legs together then, to dull the ache her words and actions were giving you. Between the thought of Abby and the pace of your fingers, the coil in your stomach was wound tight, ready to break at any moment.

“Hey, I found this mov– oh shit.”

You let out a gasp at Abby’s voice, quickly pulling your hand away from your heat and covering yourself with a blanket that had fallen off of you. Abby had her hand covering her eyes, while also facing the door that she just burst through.

“Abby! Whatever happened to knocking!” you said. You were flushed all over, embarrassed about being caught in the act. 

“I know, I’m sorry! I was excited about the movie I found; wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.” She was still facing the wall. 

“You can turn around, I have clothes on.”

She turned slowly, hand rubbing the back of her neck in an awkward motion. She stands by the door, not sure if she should go or stay, you weren’t really sure what to do in this situation either.

“What movie is it?” you say, trying to break the ice.

Abby walks over to your bed and sits down by your legs, handing you the DVD case. It was some old movie about an apocalypse.

You laugh at her. “Don’t you think it’s a bit ironic?”

“I thought that’s why it would be fun.” she says sheepishly. “Y’know, compare their apocalypse to ours.”

Your laughter intensifies, and you nod your head 

“That would be fun.”

You looked up at the same time, you didn’t realize how close you had moved to her, it felt like you were naturally pulled to her. Abby’s brows were pulled together, she had the same look on her face that she did during patrols. 

“I could help, if you want.” she says, not breaking eye contact.

“Help? With what.” you ask.

“You know, with what I walked in on.” Abby answers, no shyness left in her tone.

“Oh I don’t– Abby, I’ve never…” you say, blood rushes to your cheeks as you try not to break the intimidating eye contact.

“You don’t have to. You can tell me to fuck off right now and I’ll never speak of this again. But, I would really like to make up for ruining your orgasm.”

 Her crass language makes you impossibly redder, causing you to look away. When you turn back towards her, Abby is scanning your face for a sign. Her blue-gray eyes go from your lips to your eyes.

You feel like your throat has dried up, unable to give her verbal confirmation, you nod your head at her.

“No.” She says, taking your chin in her hand. “Need to hear you say it.”

You sit up straighter, nervous of the repercussions that these few words will have. 

“I want you to help me, Abby.”

She lets out a sigh, and pulls you in. Naturally, you let her tongue guide yours. Abby grabs your hips, pressing your body up against hers. Gently moving her kisses towards your jaw and down your neck, hitting a spot on your collarbone that has you moaning

“There it is.” she whispers.

Abby spends a few moments on that spot, long enough that you knew there would be a large purple mark there by the morning. Stopping for a second to remove your shirt, she then lays you down onto the bed. Moving her mouth lower, she keeps your legs propped open with her knee. You moan as she wraps her lips around one of your nipples. 

She comes back up to look into your eyes.

“Does that feel good?” she questions, looking down at your hips.

You cock your head at her and look down, realizing you had been grinding your leg over her knee. But she doesn’t laugh at you, in fact, she seems very serious about it all, she left no room for you to be embarrassed.

“Yeah.” you reply, barely a whisper. 

“I bet it does, sweetheart.” she says, nodding her head sympathetically before removing her leg from your heat.

You let out a light whine, as she whispers an, I know, I know, quickly removing the plaid pajama shorts you were dressed in, making a note in her head to tease you about them later. Moving her cruel kisses right above your mound, you think she’s finally about to give you what you're aching for, but instead, she moves her mouth even lower, to focus on your thighs next. You wanted to tell her to get on with it, but you couldn’t find it in you to actually say it.

Abby was so intimidating, and she always got what she wanted. After many, many, patrols with her, you knew that it was her way, or the highway. Finally, she places an open mouthed kiss to your clit through your panties before taking them off. You instinctively lift your hips for her. 

“Please.” you whimper.

“Hm? What do you want?” Abby answers, teasingly.

You move to put your hands over your face, embarrassed by the thought of begging. But Abby is quick to catch your wrists, the show of strength making you clench around nothing. 

Shaking her head at you she says,. “C’mon, shy girl, tell me what you want.” 

Wriggling your hands in her grasp, you try to get away. It was all a game to her, and it was to you, too. You knew you couldn’t get away, and you were barely trying, but it was fun to try, to pretend like you had a chance against her. Abby laughs at your weak attempt.

“Just tell me what you want, you know I’ll help you, I said I would.”

You suck in a breath. “Want you to touch me, Abs.”

It’s not loud enough for Abby’s liking, but she figures she made you wait long enough. Moving down between your thighs once again, her broad shoulders push your legs far apart, and she licks a long stripe up your cunt. You let out an inhuman groan, and Abby laughs again, sending a vibration from your cunt all the way up to your chest.

You move your hands to the top of her head, trying to grip something, but her tight braid makes it hard. Moaning as her nose bumps your clit, you feel Abby’s middle finger you, which only causes your noises to become even louder.

She comes up for a breath, her finger still steadily going in and out of you.

“What were you thinking about?” She says through panting breaths.

“What?” you question, glassy eyes coming up to meet hers.

“When I walked in on you, what were you thinking about?” She adds another finger, throwing your train of thought out the window. “Answer me, baby. I wanna know.” 

“Was– was thinking about when you braided my hair.”

Abby smirked, she knew what you were talking about. You thought she didn’t notice how quiet you got right when she started lacing her fingers through your hair. How you would only shake your head in response to her questions, and how you crossed your legs the first time she gave your head a light pull.

“Yeah? You were thinking about me while you touched your pretty pussy?” 

Whimpering, you nod your head at her. She moves back down to your cunt, sucking at your clit causing your hips to shoot up, trying to grind on her face. But Abby is quick to put her strong arm over them, forcing them down.

“Quit that.” she mumbles. The show of dominance sends a wave of arousal through you.

You didn’t know how long it had been since she had started, but it felt like it had been hours. Your head was becoming fuzzy, your hearing muffled, it felt like your ears had been stuffed full of cotton. All you could focus on were Abby’s fingers lazily going in and out of your hole, and her mouth on your clit, she gave it a quick nip with her teeth every once in a while just so she could see your hips jolt again.

You were positive you were being too loud, but you couldn’t seem to care, your stomach was in knots, the ruined orgasm from before was building up again quickly. 

“I need– I’m gonna-” you tried to finish your sentence, but nothing worthy was coming out.

Abby took her mouth off of your cunt.

“I know, it’s okay. Let go for me, baby. Let it all out.” She says, kissing your cheek and forehead.

Her words send you flying over the edge. Abby connects her lips with yours, muffling your moans. You were floating, your vision stark white. When you came back down, Abby’s fingers were still moving inside of you. Groaning, you try to push her away.

“Alright, okay, I’m done, promise.” 

Abby removes her fingers and you let out a weak sob, she was quick to shush you, planting another kiss on your jaw before leaving the bed. You watch her go into your bathroom to find a towel to clean you up with. Once she was satisfied with her work, she moved in beside you, murmuring small praises the whole time. She showed her strength once more by propping your fatigued body on top of hers, quickly grabbing a blanket to cover you both up with. 

“Thank you.” you whisper, looking up at her from your position on her chest, your shyness naturally creeping back in.

 Giving you a small smile, she kisses the top of your head.

“It was only right. Couldn’t just ruin your night like that now could I? We’ll talk about this later, get some rest.” Abby says quietly, rubbing soothing circles on your back.

With that, you drift off, feeling content in her arms.

[sunshine-and-christmas-caryls]

My thoughts on The Umbrella Academy’s season 4 Love Triangle. Spoilers below!

Please Note:

This is ridiculously long and consists of my thoughts and interpretations of the characters and their motivations/ feelings based on what we got to see from the show. They aren’t necessarily right or wrong for the characters- they are literally just my interpretations and likes and dislikes with how they handled the love triangle in this season of the Umbrella Academy.

I do not want to get in debates or arguments about the merits of either couple, if the storyline should have been included in the first place, of what is in or out of character, or about who is endgame, or anything else. If you agree with my opinions cool; if you disagree with them cool; if you want to share those thoughts or have a conversation about it, also cool.

But please skip this post if you’re just looking for a fight. This was more for me to organize my thoughts on them, and share for others who found Five and Lila as a couple unexpectedly (for me at least) engaging.

Other Things to Note that I don’t really get into in the main body of this:

-I think there are a hell of a lot of plot holes and inconsistencies, and some poor dialogue scripting in season 4. Some of which really, really bother me. But I think the storylines and plots had potential as concepts and could have been done so much better had there been more money & care to make more episodes. (Some of the concepts would probably have needed much more time than a full season to really be done well though...)

Overall, I didn’t hate season 4 so much as I was kind of underwhelmed and a little disappointed by it. [But if we’re being honest, while I like TUA overall, I do think each season was at least a little bit worse as a whole than the previous one anyway, despite there being good and/or great parts to every season too…]

-I did feel like most of the characters were a little off compared to how they acted in previous seasons. However I don’t know if that had more to do with:

a) lazy and/ or rushed writing, or

b) the plot/ time skip

I am one of those who thinks Five actually is a little calmer in nature, but a lot more manic the more stressful and pressing the situation gets. However he doesn’t have a lot of the same smugness and sarcasm that I was expecting either. Diego doesn’t have the same kind of determined motivation he shows in previous seasons, and Lila is a little less chaotic even if there are still a few hints at it.

Now part of that, I think, is due to the 6 years time difference and the characters growth that we missed during that. Especially considering their new circumstances: Diego and Lila being parents and Five, for the first time since he first time traveled to the future, was not in the middle of (nor actively trying to stop) an apocalypse. Plus ALL the characters had adjustments to make in being without their powers.

Part of it, I’m assuming, is also because of the shortened episode count leading to a poorer script overall. And I’m hoping that had we got a full season we would have been able to see a little more of their previous characterization come through too.

-My opinion about Five’s sexuality since that seems to be a topic of conversation for some who felt he was OOC in that regards:

To be honest I don’t really have a clear idea of it, other than he is absolutely not aromantic, in my opinion. I can respect your opinion if you do/did and were disappointed, but he thought up a wife for himself when he was alone- not friends or a substitute of his family. To me that just means he’s a big romantic at heart.

Whether he’s asexual, Demi-sexual, bi/pan or straight otherwise, I honestly have no clue. I think I gravitate towards him needing an emotional connection for him to have a fulfilling relationship in the show. But I think I saw somewhere that he got around a lot in the comics, and I could see that too if that’s the unspoken assumption they were using.

Side note on Dolores: I thought 5’s romance with her was a great addition to 5’s personal story and as a way to show the basic human nature of needing others, but I’m also kind of glad that she didn’t actually become real, because at the end of the day, she was a delusion of his, and I don’t really want to see that story. (Just my opinion; no harm meant to others who would have liked that plot.)

-Sometime around the middle of season 3, I actually remember thinking that if Aiden/ 5 had been older or Ritu/ Lila younger, I would have shipped the shit out of the characters because of their symmetry and contrasts. However, I also immediately dismissed the thought because the physical age gap IS a little weird for me. I didn’t read their scenes as necessarily romantic or sexual, so much so as they could have been if they were of the same age (at least for me).

In universe, I took it as the characters being kind of fascinated by each other, both getting enjoyment out of goading and poking at one another, but there wasn’t really genuine interest in pursuing each other either. (In hindsight of season 4, though I suppose it was really laying the groundwork for what would eventually turn romantic.)

I thought the writers were going to make Five and Lila the “platonic besties who, to a stranger, looked like they were a couple but really weren’t” and Diego and Lila were going to be the “contentious and passionate couple who argued as much as they loved”.

After season 4 though, I adjusted my thinking, and that’s kind of the basis around my opinions in the main body below.

****************

By the end of season 3, I thought Diego and Lila might have been the best relationship that was still on going. Despite that, I couldn’t bring myself to ship it either. They were never True Love/ OTP material for my tastes, because while they certainly had passion, they lacked the kind of emotional connection that would draw me in. (Don’t ask me what that is specifically because most of the time I have no idea what makes me ship one couple over another…) So, even though I think it had the most development, I also was just not attached to them as a couple.

And maybe my apathy towards them as a couple is making me biased, but Diego and Lila being unhappy with each other and their domestic life made sense to me. It was surprising, because I thought they were going to make them a “happy violent” couple, (or at least something more along the lines of what the rest of the fandom had expected) but not truly shocking either.

Diego and Lila had only known each other for about four months by the time season 3 ended. And again their actual romantic scenes mostly take place during the few days we see on screen in season 2. It might not have been as quick as a “love at first sight” arc, but it was definitely a whirlwind romance.

Also, Lila grew up under the Handler and was primed from the start to be her weapon. So, I think Lila being around Diego for months (I’m working with the assumption that she was in the institute nearly as long, if not longer than Diego) would naturally lead to her becoming infatuated with him.

After all, Diego is a handsome, good, & maybe a little bit goofy man who cares about people and justice, and loves his family; and they had a lot of passion/ sexual connotations to their scenes. I feel like he was everything she thought she ever wanted.

And it was much the same for Diego. She was the wild, manic pixie girl of his dreams whose personal brand of crazy drove him mad as well. He’s got childhood trauma, too, which he relates to with her, and I think in the beginning he kind of viewed her as both damsel in distress and partner in crime, which would appeal to his need to be a hero and his desire to not be alone.

(I’ve always thought of Diego as the most insecure of the siblings, and his need to be THE hero- not just any hero but the main star of the show kind of hero- was the way he hid from his inner insecurities and desire to fit in and be noticed.)

Season 2 was essentially Diego and Lila falling for each other despite being on opposing sides; and it’s clear that both had strong feelings for each other. Season 3 picks up immediately after and is also only a few days long. The main plot point for Diego and Lila’s relationship in this season, was essentially them deciding to give their relationship a go and establishing them as soon to be parents.

Season 3 also continues some precedents that were set in season 2, and continue in season 4. (Lila lying, Diego not noticing or misunderstanding a part of her character, Five and Lila having a side adventure/ arc on their own, and Diego noticing Lila was around Five.)

Now there are obviously more details and nuances to both seasons- showing Diego and Lila both feeling like they can open up to each other a bit more than they felt they could with others, showing their desire for a family, and to be better than their parents, establishing the fear of failure in that regards (at least for Lila) etc.

And while It might not have been my ship, I don’t want to diminish their bond either. Diego and Lila obviously had a connection and cared a great deal about each other, and were probably happy and in love for a while too. But none of that changes that fact that Diego and Lila had a whirlwind romance built amidst lies and high stakes, end-of-the-world stress, on top of an unplanned pregnancy, all within only knowing each other for 4 months at most.

And in light of that, it’s not actually surprising that when the dust settled and things were calmer, the cracks in their foundation were visible. I think they were both swept up in their connection to each other and their dreams of having a family and life better than what they had, that they never saw that maybe they weren’t quite right for each other, maybe they each needed something a little different than what the other could offer.

It’s clear in the first episode that they are not in the best of places as individuals nor as a couple. Diego hates his job and is constantly complaining about his life. He’s a bit suspicious of Lila and her whereabouts but also seems to miss, or at least underestimate, how hard things are on Lila.

Lila is visibly and verbally struggling with her role as a mother, as being too tied to that identity, and is sneaking out of the house to do undercover work and lying about it to her husband. She’s constantly badgered with Diego complaining, but also kind of fails to acknowledge that his motivation for doing a job he hates is to provide for their family.

Neither of them are truly happy with the way their lives turned out. And I think a large part of that was because they tried to change themselves to fit the mold of what they thought they should be in their dreams of a family, rather than finding a balance of being themselves with and as a family.

But there’s a disconnect between them as a couple too. From their scenes in episode 1-4, I got the impression that Diego, while clueless to Lila’s unhappiness/ struggles, nonetheless still had feelings for her because he was still trying to show off to her (the chef had the wrong technique, throwing the axes blind, holding her whilst convincing her to go on the road trip, etc.).

I got the impression that for Lila it was the opposite. She still loved him as a person and a father to her children, but she couldn’t bring herself to feel the same way she did in the previous seasons either. Every overture he made, even if it wasn’t exactly the most romantic, she met with annoyance or disdain. And while she might have laughed at him previously, she also defended him too. This season she was the one poking at him the most without defending him really at all.

Had she never got lost on that subway with Five, maybe they would have been able to work it out and it really was just a slump for them, one of the lower points in the ups and downs that every couple experiences. But (in my opinion at least) her annoyance in Diego’s attempts at reaching out and the fact that after six years she still felt the need to lie to him rather than talk about her unhappiness were more a sign that the romantic love was gone for Lila. That after the initial whirlwind romance and honeymoon period, she wasn’t quite in love with him anymore; at least, not in the “you’re my forever person” kind of way.

But I think she’s stubborn, and she so wanted a family with him, that it kept her from saying anything about what she was going through for so long. And I think Diego was totally oblivious to this in the face of his own struggles with domesticity, but I also think that maybe he was a little less in love than he thought too?

I’m of mixed opinions on this, but it felt a little weird to me that he was more upset- at least in the moment- that she went undercover than that she had potentially cheated. It could just be that in the moment he was so upset to be left out of the action that he wasn’t really thinking about how much bigger of an issue it would be had she cheated. (Or maybe cheating just isn’t as big a deal to him as it would be to me? Like I said I don’t have a good read on this…)

But I could also see it as potentially showing him having settled into his choice in loving her forever rather than truly feeling- without falter- like she was his forever person. Either way he definitely still has feelings for her, and that’s what made me so much more sad for Diego.

Especially because, in the end, it was his brother that it happened with. I feel like her choosing to save Five at the Mexican Consulate in season 2 instead of him has always sat in the back of his mind, and that’s why he’s always noticed when they are together. Of course he went through the realization that she had first used him to get close to/ watch Five, but when she came back to bring him into the Commission he knew she had genuine feelings for him too, and I don’t really think he questioned it much after that.

But it’s something that I think stayed with him, lurking in his subconscious. Knowing that when he was on a metaphorical ledge and first reached out to her for help, she chose Five instead. And that’s why he always noticed when Lila and Five were together.

Also, I think the first two greenhouse scenes spoke volumes about both (though indirectly for Diego & Lila’s) relationships. It was mentioned at least twice in season 3 that Lila’s worried about not being cut out for a maternal, domestic role, and her struggles in the beginning of season 4 probably felt like confirmation of that to her. But then we see in episode 5 that she can be happy in a softer domestic role, when she’s with the right person.

I’m 100% aware that it’s different for Lila and Diego with the kids and real world things like mortgage, school, taxes, etc. than it is for Five and Lila who only had each other & whose sole focus is on surviving and getting back to their home. I understand the nuances make a HUGE difference. But at the end of the day, for Lila they are two sucky -albeit very different kinds of sucky- situations with two different men. And she’s happier making do with one than the other.

Which brings me to the Five/ Lila portion of things. I was VERY caught off guard by the fact that the writers/ producers actually went there. As in all the way up to episode 5, I thought the writers were just making hints of Lila/ Five as a red herring, or to highlight Diego’s insecurities. But then I saw the intro to episode 5, and thought oh, they were actually building them up as a potential couple. And the greenhouse scenes sealed it for me- whatever they might say, the writers really went there and let Five and Lila fall in love.

It was both a slightly uncomfortable and a very pleasant surprise. I’m not a big fan of big age gaps, they tend to leave me feeling a little icky, but there have been several ships of mine that it happens with because I feel like it makes sense with their characters and how deep or strong their emotional connection and history is. I don’t really enjoy that aspect, but I won’t deny that there are some stories that I just accept it & move on (notably book canon Braime for me).

Five and Lila is worse simply because Five is in the body of a 13 year old in the first three seasons, and that’s just a firm no all around for me. But his mind was that of a 58 year old and just because he’s had a weird thing happen to him, doesn’t mean that he suddenly can’t think or feel like any other adult does (I’m honestly kind of thankful they did at least wait, because it would have felt wrong to me when he was physically 13, despite knowing he was much older mentally).

It also helps that that kind of mentally older, physically younger character at some point take on “vampire rules” for me (as in the contrast between mental and physical age of some vampire/ immortal/ supernatural character and their human love interest is so absurd and abstract that it somehow cancels out for me).

And by the time there’s any kind of romantically intimate scenes between the two, Five is 25/26. And even though it’s heavily implied they slept together, all that’s actually shown are a couple of fairly tame kisses.

Furthermore, they’re both mentally adults, and had it ever reset to a timeline without any time travel involved, Lila and Five would probably be the same age (all the super power kids were born on the same day after all). So it’s really not that big of an issue when they actually do get together.

The other aspect that makes me a little uncomfortable about Five and Lila is of course, Diego and Lila’s relationship. I already mentioned that it wasn’t necessarily something I personally shipped, but it was the relationship I think the audience members were most familiar with, and them having a family and still technically being together, made it a little sad to see Five and Lila happy with each other.

I would have personally preferred the writers completely dissolve the Diego/ Lila relationship before actually having Five/ Lila get together, because I’m not a huge fan of cheating storylines, especially when there’s kids involved.

I also feel like they could have hit most of the same emotional beats even if they had let Diego and Lila divorce first? Like it still would have been an emotionally charged reveal scene at the house if Diego had something along the lines of “that was my wife, we only divorced a week ago” or “you’re my brother and she was my wife, what the hell!?”. But I actually think the writers were trying to leave the “end game” couple up to interpretation, which felt too much like a cop out to me.

I think most audience members just needed more screen time of all three & that would have helped quell some of the hate Five & Lila get. We needed more time to see how Diego and Lila’s romance fizzled and died out, and more time to feel the weight of the 6.5 years on the subway building to Five and Lila’s romance.

I think it would have been better received if they had a fourth, fifth, and side season, or made this fourth season extra long (like 12-16 episodes) with a split release (first in August, and the latter half of the episodes during Christmas time) with a mini or side season (or even a movie) of just Five and Lila’s subway adventures. Kind of like how they did a Queen Charlotte story between seasons of Bridgerton.

There would always be some who refused to like it because of the age gap, or because they just prefer Diego/Lila or Five & Lila as purely platonic; but I think more time would have helped shorten the list of haters at least a little (and given the writers an opportunity to work the kinks out of more of the storylines in general).

Like I said earlier I’m not a big fan of the cheating aspect of their relationship, but I also don’t entirely think it’s fair the way so many people seem to view it as Five “letting Lila betray his brother with him” or “Five not caring about his brother is so OOC. He’d never betray Diego just to fuck”.. Because from what I watched, that’s not what happened at all??

Putting aside the “letting her cheat” (because they’re all grown ass adults and no one is responsible for someone else’s actions) I don’t get how people don’t see the love that grew between Five and Lila. Lila might be saying verbally that it was “only survival” and that “it’s over”, but her actions, expressions, and tones all scream love and care and affection.

I think Lila was a little confused when she gets back, but it’s also very obvious that she loves Five in the same way it was obvious in season 2 that Lila was downplaying her interest and affection/ love for Diego when she said “nah” to killing him like the Handler suggested.

And it’s the same for Five. If it had only been a physical or lonely thing, I don’t really think it would have happened. It’s because it was Lila, who is so similar and so opposite him in equal measure that he fell in love with her. And it’s because he loves her that he would want to pursue a full relationship with her. The fact that they’re human and gave into their feelings rather than uphold moral standards wasn’t that crazy of an idea, especially given the somewhat murky circumstances. It was never about purposefully hurting Diego or not caring about him.

Them getting together was two damaged people put in extraordinary circumstances with only each other to rely on for years, without any knowledge of how long they would be alone, surviving through hardships and growing in love. Or at least, that’s how I interpreted their relationship from what we got to see.

None of that felt out of character for either of them to me. Everything through the first two greenhouse scenes (minus a few dialogue/ scripting issues) felt pretty in character to me, all things considered. What did feel wrong and out of character for me was Five hiding the journal for months and him saying he wants to kill Diego and physically fighting him, while the rest of their family fought the Bennifer Blob monster.

I get wanting to show Five struggling with the decision to prioritize the world because for the first time he’s actually experienced love and happiness with a real person; plus they already started him on the do “not save the world” mindset last season. But they could have executed that in a much better way than having him find and hide a cypher book that would take them back home.

[Hell, even within the scene, he could have found it sometime that same morning or within the past couple of days and it would change literally nothing about their argument except the length of time he’s had the journal- because his actions are literally never addressed!]

But while it could just be an expansion of him not wanting to lose the happiness he found, and faltering in his steadfast determinedness to do right by the world and be with his family, it still feels off to his character for me. (Obviously the writers disagree with my interpretation of his character though.)

For me, even though he would grapple with the decision, Five would, in the end at least, still have chosen to go back to save his family & the world because that is so central to him as character. What I think they should have done was have him find it right after or before her gifting him the instant coffee. Have him open the conversation that he found it and Lila being so excited that she initially missed his internal conflict.

It could pan to her realizing what it means to go back, and them having a short talk about it. Lila could say they have to go back because of her kids, they have to go back to save their family. And Five could say he knows but he was happy there with her, and a part of him didn’t want to leave. She could have said she was happy too, but flinched when he went to hold her hand and that could have prompted the start of the argument.

The argument itself could still keep to the core of what it was in the show with only a few dialogue changes, and it would hit all the same emotional tones of the scene but without feeling like Five’s core motivations as a character were totally flipped on its head. Again, that’s just my opinion on it.

I do feel like Five being jealous and lashing out at Diego a bit during the Christmas reveal was in line with how Five might react in that situation. After all, he gets more sarcastic, testy, and even manic with the more stress he’s under. The bracelet line from Diego should have been reworded though. I’m not sure if it was lazy writing, or if they were rushed and/or overlooking things because of the episode cut, but that felt off.

They could have just as easily had him say, “you hate bracelets now” or “you never wear bracelets anymore” before mentioning the traded Valentine’s bracelet, and it still would have shown the disconnect between Diego and Lila in their relationship. A blanket “you hate bracelets” after we had- for two seasons- seen her wear the one he made that she nabbed in season 2 just felt like poor script writing.

And I would be 100% down for the first initial shoves of their fight had that been as far as it went before Five or Diego said they bigger things to worry about and the other passive-aggressively agreed.

Or better yet, if their confrontation happened after the family escaped to Luthor’s, so that the writers could still have Five run off to the subway without having him & Diego, in a sense and literally by Five, abandoning their family & acting stupid in the midst of battle. Because that felt weird and out of character for both of them to me.

I also very much needed a scene where Five apologizes to Diego at least that he hurt him (but not necessarily for loving Lila) and Diego not necessarily forgiving Five, but at least acknowledging him before they died. Because letting things be so unresolved between them and then erasing them from existence was cruel.

All that being said, I very much loved Five and Lila’s relationship with each other. Their dynamic outside of the actual storyline is the perfect mix of enemies to lovers and two broken souls finding solace in each other. And while I do wish they had changed or tweaked a few things, their story was still rather tragically beautiful.

I also firmly believe that had they all survived, Five & Lila probably would have been end game. I think the set up for them was too deep (even if a little too rushed with the episode limit/ being the final season) for Lila to truly be able to go back to Diego. If pushed too much too soon, I think she’d probably try for the sake of the kids. But the unhappiness with each other/ their life together even before the subway time-skip, coupled with the distrust and hurt that comes when a partner cheats, isn’t something I really think Diego and Lila are strong enough as a couple to overcome. And that could have led to even more bitterness and resentment before they finally called it quits.

However, if given enough time, I think Lila would have pulled back from both of them for a bit to figure out what she wanted and focus on her kids, herself, and any ongoing apocalypse situation if there were still one. I think she would have come to the realization that she loves Diego and would always care for him, but that she was no longer in love with him. That when she pictures the rest of her life, it’s Five she wants beside her.

Maybe she procrastinates a bit on talking about it, because she hates the situation and doesn’t want to hurt either one of them, but eventually they’d sort themselves out. But I also think she and Five would have to have a long conversation about taking her choices from her, especially if it involves her kids, because hiding the book was a fairly big betrayal and not something I think she could totally ignore, like they did in the show. (I personally hated that it was even a part of the story to begin with, but Five hiding the journal really needed to be addressed. I hope it would have been if the had more time.)

& If this was along the lines of what they were going to do with the plot if they were to get another season or two, I hope the writers would have used this to let Diego spiral a bit, before confronting his underlying insecurities and moving past it all. Hopefully with a new love interest at some point that is as perfect as can be for him, because I don’t like him sad and he deserves love and a happily ever after too.

On a side note, one thing that I thought was cute & slightly amusing out of context, but firmly believe should have been left on the cutting room floor was the entirety of the van/ “You’re family needs you; I need you” scene. And I know they kept it in to push the uncertainty of the Five/ Lila and Diego/ Lila relationships, but this was too obviously a plot device for the love triangle that just wasn’t believable for me narratively speaking.

Because with Allison’s new powers, Klaus’ ability to raise ghosts that were corporeal, & Diego’s telekinesis with redirecting multiple bullets, what do you mean there were too many enemies for them to handle? And how am I supposed to believe that in the past seven years, Five, who was canonically shot at and chased, never took the time to practice and remaster his blinking abilities?

Especially since they established in episode 4, and earlier in episode 6 when he and Lila returned to the house, that he could apparently- and accurately- time travel over large stretches of time without any issues/ struggles. Not to mention that mere minutes later inside the department store, he’s able blink to the second floor without any problem?

Whatever issues or enjoyment I had with the way they had Five and Lila and Diego’s story unfold, most of it just came down to personal preference, tweaking the script, and needing more episodes. But this scene in particular just felt silly and pointless to me. They could have had Lila say “I need you” in a show of concern, or physically reaching out to Five instead of Diego; only to say the “it’s over” line a few scenes later and it still would have pushed the “who does she choose” narrative. But the fact that the love triangle never gets truly resolved either, makes all of it fall flat, in my opinion. (I thought on first watch that the “it’s over” line was just about the fight and misunderstood by Five, but it could have been about their relationship too. And now we’ll probably never know for sure because they didn’t resolve anything in any of their relationships to each other 😢)

All that being said though, this is a slightly whacky show about very messed up people, who do very messy things all the time- I shouldn’t be surprised they went for the messiest option for how to handle this love triangle…

[theresa-draws]

i've been playing veilguard non-stop since launch and i'm currently 40h in and still completing companion/side quests, so here are some slightly spoilery thoughts up to mid-game:

Pros:

i am here for the ancient elven and titan/dwarven lore

the combat is quick and actiony, i'm getting the hang of the dodging which is better than blocking or parrying for me - it feels like genshin at times if i had to compare LOL

lighting's great, game loading's fast.... really worth the time loading those shaders every time I start the game

MY INQUISITOR LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL IN THIS GAME and she doesn't sound too OOC.... yet

it felt like Mythal is still watching over The People, and considering Miha had Mythal's vallaslin before Solas removed them, there's a layer of complicated solavellan feelings that i love with the veilguard revelations

i can see some chemistry between my rook and davrin/lucanis...... eyes emoji

solas and rook can taunt each other, although i don't like how much information we're giving him..... he needs us more than we need him and this is the dread wolf from the legends after all he'll use it against us when he has the chance

the bits of inquisition soundtrack + bard songs hurts me in a good way

taash's personal quest about personal identity so far hits the mark for me, whether it's exploring being non-binary or someone between two cultures

lucanis has that old dragon age flavour.................. that's endearingly cringe and oh-no-am-i-into-that

davrin's voice + assan is a potent combination, will rook be a new parent with davrin who knows at this point i'm flirting with three different companions and i'm taking them everywhere with me

i liked being taken by surprised by the game (minrathous vs treviso) but it was an easy choice for me...................... sorry my elf rook is going to be tevinter imperium that did all that shit magical city with advanced technology vs assassin venice city whose waterways are about to be poisoned.....

i like bellara's personal quest so far, dealing with grief and regret and feeling like you're not good enough when people are counting on you to be :(((

you can play rock, paper, scissors with manfred when he's chilling outside at the lighthouse!!!

the lighthouse is slightly customisable like skyhold, thanks solas!

the armours look ugly, the appearance customisation is sorely needed (i'd like an armour mod for the inquisitor, she is wearing her pajamas out again!!!!)

i like seeing the more villainous side of solas as elvhen history remembers him, he's not completely righteous even ruthless to his own people at times but he did what he did (like his chess game with ironbull, he sacrificed so much to get his intended outcome) it's a nice contrast/parallel to rook and the inquisitor

YOU CAN PET CATS AND DOGS IN THE CITIES!!!

Cons:

narrative/dialogue feels hand-holdy (yes bioware, i know the LoreTM stop making them repeat it at me like i'm 12)

pacing is Wack, it's rushing to get to the story beats and then i'm being punished with the minrathous/treviso choice for wanting to recruit davrin ASAP ???

everyone sounds so sedated, is that a choice in the voice directing? or is it like the tone in the lines or something............ the characters have no bite! they're so nice,,,,,,,, even rook can't be too stoic or mean or ruthless! i think that's where the complaints about the marvel-ish lines are coming from (if i hear another character say "whatever it takes", i am going to lose my mind)

Lacklustre and boring soundtrack swinging between hunger games films and assassin's creed revelations, the most recognisable part of it is the inquisition soundtrack

Lords of Fortune suffers in the costume design department the mage outfit is garbage fire, what the hell is going on in the designs for Rivaini outfits

because they killed off Flem-mythal, they brought in Mythal-rrigan...... even though her character arc was about not wanting to become Flemeth (how many pieces of mythal are there???) even the way she talks is less morrigan and more flemeth :((

it's not fun to explore only to realise certain areas are blocked by story quests, or things that require companions you don't have in the beginning of the game

you can't speak with companions whenever you want, i'm feeling like bellara's hanging out with emmrich wayyyyyyyy more often than me and i'm trying to romance her ;A; maybe i should switch to davrin my other first choice

isabela has a very shallow cameo, she's just there to make innuendos and references in a winkwink nudgenudge way

there's a spirit of compassion! it's not cole though................

varric is talking only to me, solas knows varric is talking only to me.... is there a connection there? is he using varric to guilt trip or get inside my head?

getting the party to sit around watching solas' regrets/memories like it's movie night sets a very weird tone for those scenes lol

romance is taking a long time to start/advance did i miss something??? guess i need to clear some personal quests or advance the main story (but i don't want to get punished for advancing the main story)

matt mercer voices the viper, anaris and manfred........ and it's taking me out of the game lol all i hear is matt mercer

i want to exchange rooms with lace harding, i feel like the plants and pond fit isen more than the huge aquarium

i am not clicking with neve and i don't know if it's because i missed her quest/didn't save minrathous/she cares about nothing else other than dock town and my rook is getting blamed for the venatori bullshit

haven't met elgar'nan but his voice is grating.............. it's sneering and nasal and i'm-an-evil-villain-oooh kind of voice, i thought he'd be more charismatic :( at least eldritch wife ghilain'nain is a horrific mad scientist as expected

[aesopsbaby]

oh okay 👀. Can I have general hcs for star x Leona?

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫(s): Leona Kingscholar (TWST), Star (@startheimpactfangirl)

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: General headcanons

𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: GAHH sorry this took so...so long sobsobs. I really hope this can make it up for the extremely long wait!! Also,,Leona might be ooc since its been a really long time since I've played TWST,,,and I'm going to be honest, I don't remember much about alot of the characters,,(except for Sebek my beloved)

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Leona being OOC </3

✧ Leona, as arrogant and prideful as he is, would've definitely been taken aback. He hadn't thought that he would ever fall for someone.

✧ Star fell first but Leona, for sure, fell harder! Something as small as a small smile from Star can send Leona's heart into a frenzy. He'd start to scoff and look away from their direction but the burning feeling in his cheeks and the tips of his ear are evident.

✧ Leona was the first to proclaim his feelings. He hadn't thought of doing so until he started to see other students getting close to Star. Fearing the worst, and losing them to those who he deems are inferior to him is enough to make Leona's envy eat at him. He couldn't possibly stand losing!

Leona grimaced, not caring and never caring to cover up his expression. His eyes were burning holes into the person currently speaking to Star. This is annoying..why is he getting so worked up over this?

He sighed, a low and soft growl as he continued to glare at the scene before him. Deciding he had enough, Leona walked towards Star, holding onto their wrist with a firm yet gentle grasp, tugging them along with him as he walked off. "I need you for a moment." Star tilted their head at his action, but ultimately let him lead them away, leaving the other student to stand there dumbfounded.

"Leona? What are..." Star started, but shook their head slightly before continuing, "Where are we going-" Leona stopped abruptly, turning around to face them, "Listen. I.."

Leona felt his heart pounding wildly in his chest, his brain was running at a thousand miles per second as he stared at Star's confused expression. He groaned, exasperated at the situation before he brought both of Star's hands up to his face.

"I love you."

He spoke with a softness that shocked Star. Causing them to widened their eyes and feel their blood rushing to their cheeks at the sudden confession. Leona pursed his lips into a thin line, "and..I can't take it..seeing other people...you know..?" Leona mentally cursed at himself for fumbling his words.

He shook his head to clear all the thoughts clouding his ability to form a coherent sentence.

"Look. I..I just can't lose you, alright?"

✧ No matter how long Star and Leona have been together, Leona still can't stumbling over his words whenever he's around Star. He tries so hard to keep a nonchalant and snarky persona, but once Star so much as waves at him and calls him, he falls apart and goes quiet instantly.

✧ Leona only treats Star with so much softness and gentleness. He would do anything to make sure that they are safe and happy. And if making Star happy means to attend lessons instead of slacking off? Well, so be it!

✧ Star spends most of their time with Leona's head on their lap. They will card their fingers through his hair as he sleeps. Leona finds it comforting whenever Star plays with his hair, it helps him to fall asleep faster than the already does.

✧ He gets insecure whenever he is compared to his siblings. Leona always comes to Star and buries his head into their shoulder with his hands wrapped tightly around their waist, holding them close to him as he tries to get rid of all the insecure thoughts. With Star humming a soft tune while soothing him and patting his back, whispering sweet words of affirmation; "You're perfect, Leona."

✧ Leona is only soft for Star. He smiles so softly whenever he sees them. He enjoys picking Star up and doing one spin as the both of them laugh before putting them down on their feet to give them a quick peck on the forehead.

[aces-solace]

Transformers

Hobie x transmasc! Reader

Pairing: hobie x transmasc! Reader

Warnings: mentions of transphobia, mentions of needles, mentions of surgery,sexual comments, ooc, implied smut, not proof read, angst, fluff let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: because I am transmasc myself I decided to write about what I think hobie would be like if you were transmasc.

Usually you were ok with a few slight transphobic comments. But today was just too much, everything seemed to go wrong. First you woke up late for work then you spilled your coffee on yourself and had to change last minute. Next your car broke down and you had to walk to work because the busses weren't running yet. Then you let a co-worker see your scars because you had to borrow one of their shirts. You didn't mind thinking you could trust them but of course with life being against you today they told everybody.

Despite knowing that your boss is openly homophobic. He dug through your files when he finally found your dead name and emailed everyone to call you that plus he gave you a name tag with your dead name. You could quit but how would you pay your bills? You dealt with it in silence but the transphobic comments were really starting to get to you. A few of your co-workers even started saying things like "if I met you sooner I could have changed you~" and others got kinda handsy.

You hated everything and everyone. You started to pick at every single little thing you did. You didn't sound like a boy, you didn't look like a boy, you didn't dress like a boy, you didn't act like a boy, you didn't date girls like most boys would. You hated it. You walked home on shaky legs threatening to buckle underneath you. You blinked away tears for what felt like the 100th time. You had to stay strong. He doesn't know your trans. You can't be sad, he can't know. You finally made it to your apartment.

You grimaced as you looked at yourself in the bathroom mirror before getting in the shower.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

You tried to just put your old binder back on to help at least a little bit. It didn't. You glanced at your phone conflicted. Should you call him? You don't wanna bother him... He's spider-man he probably has better things to do than comfort you... You decide against it and begin thinking about how you are compared to hobie... What if he's playing you... What if- the tapping on your window interrupted your train of thought. You immediately knew it was hobie. You begin to internally panic about what he might be here for.

You got up and opened the window letting hobie in. Closing the window behind him "hey luv" you smile at him "hey bee" you tried your best not to sound sad, tired, like you were going to break any minute. (Key word: tried). Hobie seemed a little caught off guard by your tone "wha's wrong luv?". That's all it took for you to break. Tears streaming down your face and your legs shaking. Hobie caught you before you could fall to you're knees carrying you to your bed. "I-im sorry..." You manage to choke out between sobs.

"shhh, 's fine"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"can you tell me wha' happened?" You sniffle "work sucked ass" "tha' can' be all luv" "... My co-worker found out im trans and my boss is transphobic and made everyone call me by my dead name.." he stayed quiet for a second "quit, quit your job" "but-" "no, quit then you can cuddle and we can watch movies"

You can probably tell I rushed the ending.

[fish-boy-ardee]

Deadendia Book 3/Entire Series Thoughts

Spoiler Warning obvs, but ill leave the spoiler thoughts under the cut.

General thoughts

Holy shit Hamish's art got so much better as it progressed. I loved the general style of book 1 don't get me wrong, but the polish in book 3?? Im so excited to see their next works

I love how each character progressed, I don't read graphic novels normally so I'm not sure if this is the norm but some stuff felt rushed. Natural for the character's arc but it happened so quickly

I'm so gay for the men in this series. I'm so sorry for the stuff I will draw on alt accounts. Hamish if you see any of that I am so sorry/you're welcome?

The representation and just general experience of the characters (much like the Netflix counterparts) made me feel so seen as an individual in a way any other media has not.

Every outfit in this book served cunt

I wish I got the e-book version somewhere so I could take better screenshots

SPOILERY THOUGHTS This is mostly me gushing about how gay I am with a few plot thoughts spread in the midst as I think of them

I loved how Barney and Logs were never portrayed as perfect for each other, even being a point of making the "perfect" ending weird for them. It felt nice. I wish Az had more time to develop a dynamic with Logs but like, page space and the amount of time you have in a comic series is limited. (this leaves more space for my brain to fill in the gaps so its fine)

Norma and Badyah was the long game, Normyah enjoyers I hope the pay off knocks your tits clean off. I also LOVE Zagan being a rebound, I believe in doomed Yuri.

GGGod I wanma fuck the mustache off this man. sorry. I think I hauve covid

I love that we got SVTFoE ending but good. Not to compare the series since they are VERY wildly different but I'm glad stuff wasn't handwaved

Hamish that one patreon post abt "THE WRITER'S BARELY DISGUISED FETISH" I get it. I saw Barney in both the wrestling out fit that made it into the book and on patreon and man I fucking get it

I liked Courtney's deal of trying to be a martyr for the gang but I do wish they had more like foreshadowing in the first meet up in book 3. I know they call it an "opportunity" but that combined with the really prim way of speaking the entire time felt really no it.

I like this page :)

Barney's mom was too real. She felt too real i needed to stare at the ceiling for a bit reading her bit.

PETER??????!??? Never trust a Peter.

The world was worth one life and that life was worth the world, idk what the point of that sentence is but everyone agreeing to risk everything to right one massive wrong was really sweet idk

Pugsley voice: You two met on Grindr I'm calling it

Do you think Pugsley would be the homophobic dog. I know its ooc but it would just be really funny to me specifically

HAMISH CAMEO AS COURTNEY'S DAD???

DANNY'S GAY??????

Oh i like the way Hamish uses Barney's hair to differentiate between the worlds (Blue in the 13th reset, natural orange in the 14th and then pink in the OG world)

Pink haired Barney is my fave...

I think Badyah ate this book, honestly like serve queen

Seriously logs with a mustache is really making me feel unwell. I keep looking at him. Logs if you're out there PLEASE DM ME.

Please keep creating Hamish I really wanna read the new stuff you've been teasing on Patreon. Big Boy now in my hands please please please please

[majachee]

Any thoughts on BM Rattrap and Botanica [either their relationship, or just the character interactions in general] you'd like to share? Likes/dislikes, general thoughts, headcanons, anything like that really ^-^'

I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS ACTUALLY !!!!

I must say, my love for Botanica/Rattrap as a pairing comes from the idea of what could've been more than the actual execution.

I felt their pre-relationship stuff was rushed and felt forced, but post-kiss it was really sweet. Now, I suppose this has to do with BM being incredibly short compared to Beast Wars and other TF shows so pacing is definitely an issue... (Beast Machines is exactly half the length of Beast Wars, and was trying to tell a more mature story.)

It felt like they wanted to recreate Dinobot and Rattrap's banter from Beast Wars, but Dinobot is explicitly irreplacable in Rattrap's life and also had more time to develop. Botanica and Rattrap only had, like, 8 episodes iirc? More or less, definitely not an entire season tho.

Also it really felt like they were making Rattrap act OOC at times in s2 so Botanica could have a reason to hate him at first. Like, cmon... Man, they really could've done better exploring Rattrap's mental health post-The Weak Component.

In my little personal fanon, Rattrap has lingering feelings of distress and insecurity after The Weak Component, definitely made worse after the Hate Plague episode. Nightscream is still a jackass, and everyone else is tense and lashing out from the stress of their hopeless situation.

Despite them supposedly "making up" after The Weak Component, after the events of the Hate Plague, Rattrap's insecurities begin to eat at him again and he isolates himself from the group. It's hard to tell since he still covers it up with sass and snark, but if you look closely you can see him contributing his own ideas less when planning, and being more reclusive on base and on patrol.

Botanica, when getting to know her new Maximal teammates, notices how despite Rattrap's snappy remarks he seems far more isolated than the rest. The others are too pre-occupied to notice (not entirely their fault, mind you, they're also dealing with the effects of being in a completely hopeless situation), so Botanica, being the new member, tries reaching out and a relationship starts forming. Cuz I didn't like it when they were bitching at eachother 💔

Botanica will still be sassy and more aloof but also more empathetic in this silly little fanon of mine. She'd take up the role of mediator and also be able to partake in Rattrap's witty banter as an equal.

Rattrap also helps her catch up on what she's missed, and I'd like to think they exchanged stories about their lost comrades.

I want Botanica to be a sigma plant wife who carries Rattrap around like the malewife short king he is, goddammit!

I have a lot to say about these two and half of it is expanding on the tidbits of Beast Machines I liked lmao

[livia-dovehallow]

more asks - no spoilers!

I honestly found chain of thorn to be quite bad on many levels (ooc characters, random rushed plots w conveniences, no mentioning or [redacted], etc) and that’s already after TLH has been my least favorite shadowhunters series. I’m honestly concerned that TWP is also going to turn out to be bad which is a shame bc I’m so excited for it :( maybe I just put TID on too high of a pedestal so none of the other series compare lol. or maybe it’s just that whatever I think about these series in my mind/fanon just never works out in canon even though imo it should.

**SPOILER WARNING**

that's my thing about chain of thorns too. i actually really liked the premise of the plot and i thought the stakes were set high in an interesting way and had a lot of potential

but the fact that we have entire scenes just flat out omitted and characters who act nothing like themselves under the guise of "development" was just... so jarring?

you're going to maim one of gabrily's sons and kill the other and not once mention how they reacted or felt about it after the fact? we don't even get to see anna bring alex back to their parents or kit meeting up with them after explictly running halfway across london the moment he heard what happened

I, too, put TID on a high pedestal so i get where you're coming from. the plot of TID was mid at best but the characters just don't compare to any of the other tsc universe characters of any other series. character development was at the forefront of TID's plot while all the other series rely just on plot (or horniness, like TDA. don't get me started)

i do think sometimes this fandom had too many expectations of chain of thorns and expectations that fanon would become canon and that isn't entirely cc's fault because inherently fanon will never be canon because if it was, it would just be canon

but there were so many opportunites to make chain of thorns more emotional and invested and really highlight the stakes and it wasn't there. there's also no connection to any of the other series expect Malcom's anger about Annabel which would have worked well if we didn't get TDA before we got TLH, but we did, so that whole thing was dumb because we know how that worked out already

and don't ask me about the piss poor explanation behind the family tree i have blocked that from my conscious

[izanactrl]

third’s times the charm

pairings : izana x reader

☆ — a bit ooc! fluff, comfort for the first two scenarios. angst , major character death for the third scenario. the scenarios takes place in the canon tr universe! cw : jail , gambling, death, violence , tell me if there’s more!

★ — author note : i’m finally back and i’m out of writers block! sorry for the lack of content these past 2 months, i haven’t been in a good place mentally + i’ve lost interest in tr for a while, but im back again <3 enjoy this izana fic ive been thinking about lately!

the first time you’ve met izana was in prison. it wasn’t anything special. that’s what you tell yourself whenever you think of the few months you stayed there.

in all honesty, it was a lonely and dry experience. there wasn’t any thrill like there was in the outside world, it felt isolating. for the first month, things passed by. the people in your cell too kept their distance.

you hated the place. you hated how controlling this place was. you hated how there was no thrills, no excitement, nothing interesting. until you met him.

izana kurokawa. he was a enigma. he looked through you so well, from your attacks to your thoughts. just like that. in a way, both of you were a reflection of each other. a mirror recognises its image after all.

it was the first you’ve ever felt seen. and it was by izana kurokawa.

the second time you’ve met izana was when he recruited you as a member for his new gang — tenjiku. at this point, it’s been months, no maybe years since the both of you met due to the early release you’ve had compared to izana.

it was strange. you’ve never been the strongest or one to have displayed any intelligence in prison either. you’ve merely met him because of the illegal gathering of gambling — one you wouldn’t have to shoulder the burden of, should your friend have not left only you at the scene of.

you wanted to ask, but you know deep down that some questions are better left unsaid. so you left it at that. you took the uniform, and dor the first time, you swear your heart skipped a beat.

a unfamiliar feeling. you noted. it wasn’t the same feeling as you had when you gambled your life away, it wasn’t the same feeling you felt when you first tried stunts that fuelled your thrill loving nature. it was something different, but yet all the same.

at the second time you’ve met izana kurokawa, you’ve already fallen in love.

the third time you’ve met him, was in the tenjiku fight.

you’ve never really been one to participate in fights due to your lack of both your strength and intellect to win one.

despite that, izana didn’t mind it. instead, you were allowed to just simply watch. you’ve felt included but yet insecure. the people in tenjiku weren’t like regular kids in school that fight — they were ones who possess extraordinary abilities.

you’ve eventually dozed off, only awakening when the first bullet was shot. you’ve been introduced to him by izana — his name was kisaki tetta. and he had just shot a enemy in the foot.

you didn’t know if you should have felt terror at the weapon he held, or should you have felt thrill that the fight was getting more intense — as what izana felt based on his facial expression alone.

the first time kisaki shot the gun, you’ve felt nothing. as bad as it sounds, you wanted to tell yourself that it was fine. after all, the victim seems to not be hurt and instead insists another shot to the head.

the second time kisaki fired the bullets, it was terror. terror filled your senses. your eyes saw the vision of one of the members of tenjiku get shot, and izana rushing to shield him.

maybe it was the terror, maybe it was the adrenaline flowing through your blood. you jumped down from the seat, and rushed towards the gun.

you’ve never been one who’s intelligent, nor were you someone blessed with special fighting skills. you’ve merely been nothing more than someone who takes the burden without any complaints, you’ve merely been the scapegoat.

the third time you’ve met him, you’ve sacrificed your life to save izana kurokawa.



[kaeyas-beloved]

A Book, The Rain

- Kaeya x gn!Reader

Summary: Neither of you have met the other and yet you share the same friends. Now, together for a group project, you finally get to meet.

Genre: Fluff / Modern!AU (College) + Long Fic (3262 words according to Google Docs)

Warnings: A couple swears at the beginning, the absolute poorest writing compared to my other works (much more choppy I feel but oh well, my writing skills failed me this time), I think the OOCness is high in this one for some reason???

a/n: Maybe one day I'll come back to this idea, clean it up, rewrite it, do smth with it. For now though this is it. Part of me likes it (the idea and such), while another part of me wants to not post cause I know it's not the best (in my eyes).

Anyway-

“We’ve never actually talked.” Seeing the way your friends looked at you after telling the truth had you feeling as if you’ve just committed an atrocious crime. In their eyes, you might as well have.

“How could you have never talked to Kaeya!?” Venti, probably your closest yet most chaotic friend out of the group, exclaimed. The lit major’s hands shot out to grasp your shoulders, eyes wide as he frantically shook you back and forth. He’s not mad that you haven’t met the man, oh no, he’s just extremely flabbergasted that in the six years you’ve been friends with people both you and Kaeya knew there was never a time you two met. Like, ever.

“I’ve seen -- would you stop shaking me, please!” Aether, a newer addition to your endless list of friends, pulled the twin braided boy back, finally relieving you of the dizzying motion. “Thanks. As I was saying, I’ve seen Kaeya in the halls and in class, and I’ve heard many things about him. We've just never hung out like I do with all of you.”

Collectively, Aether, Venti, Eula, Amber and Lumine expressed yet again their disbelief. Some held their head in their hands while others could only pinch the bridge of their nose.

Eula, who always appeared to wear a straight face - not unlike Kaeya’s older brother - opened her mouth as if to say some kind of remark about the whole ordeal. Before the first syllable could tumble past her lips, no doubt including something about vengeance, you just happened to glance at the clock, your brain registering that you have just under 7 minutes to get to your next class.

“Son of a-” the curse falls short as you straighten up from your spot against the wall, ready to sonic your way down the hall and up two flights of stairs. You’ve done it in under three minutes before, so it shouldn’t be a problem.

“While I hate to cut the convo short,” you rush out, already eyeing the end of the hall, “I really gotta get going.”

“Wait!” NooooOOOOO you internally scream, reluctantly stopping to hear Lumine out, “for the final project, we should meet at Angel’s Share to discuss our plan. You know, brainstorm some ideas.” Her honey eyes squint in your direction a little, an almost smug smile taking over her face, the one she has every time she thinks of something devious. You don’t know what she’s planning, but you really don’t like it. You can worry about that later though, “You can also finally meet Kaeya. He’s part of our group after all.”

Damn. “I’ll be honest, I forgot the project was a thing…” you sigh, adding it onto your mental to-do list. Hearing your confession Venti burst out into laughter. You would’ve delivered a playful shove to him had your eyes not caught a glimpse of the measly two minutes left until your next class!

“Goddammit!” The cold shiver you felt couldn’t compare to how your heart started beating twice as fast as it should be. “Uhhhhhh, I agree about the meet-up thing. Send me a date and time and I’ll be there!” You practically tripped over your own two feet as you started a brisk pace down the hall, doing your best to weave through the crowd of people.

“Alright, I’ll text Diluc and he’ll inform Kaeya and Jean. Venti will tell Rosaria okay?” The blonde called out to you, though you had already broken into a sprint and skirted around the corner to the stairs. The only sign you gave to say that you heard was a half-ass hand wave to the group before disappearing completely from their sights.

- - - - -

For a newly opened café situated close to a college campus on a Friday afternoon, Angel’s Share was surprisingly empty. The bell above the door jingled faintly, the other patrons inside paying you no attention, and you, them. There’s only one thing on your mind: find that signature tuff of blue hair. You were told that Kaeya would probably be the first one here.

Right, I may have never spoken or hung out with him, but I at least know what he looks like… Actually, everyone knows what he looks like. How could they not?

The truth is, Kaeya Alberich is known all across campus for at least one reason or another. He’s mainly known for his suave, flirty nature, almost everyone having been on the receiving end of his smooth-talking. No one is safe from his charm.

Ah, and then there’s the fact that the bluenette is part of a band. It helped with his popularity, but Kaeya was definitely already well known before he and a few others formed DCKZ.

“May I help you?” Having been so lost in thought you failed to notice the café employee that made their way up to you. Only after they lightly tapped your shoulder did you snap back to reality. It took a moment for your mind to catch up but when it did you explained yourself quickly.

“I was just looking for someone,” you scan each table again, noting that not only Kaeya but not one person from your group has arrived yet. “Seems like they're not here yet…” you trail off, turning back to face the worker. Understanding the situation he offered a small smile, gesturing to a nearby window seat, “well, you’re welcome to take a seat while you wait. Is there anything I can get you?” Shaking your head you utter a quick thank you before sitting, laying your bag aside.

There’s still a while until the arranged meeting time anyway, someone should be here soon, you’re sure of it. Till then you busy yourself with gazing out the window, head in your hand as you think of what to do for the project.

- - - - -

That’s it.

After another twenty minutes of waiting around you finally unzip your bag and pull out your phone, ready to text honestly anyone and interrogate them on where they are. Just as you finished typing out a message you nearly jumped out of your skin as a figure appeared in the corner of your vision, swiftly taking the seat in front of you. Looking up you lock eyes with a sole blue one. The other one was covered by a white medical eye patch, though, that was also partially covered by his striking blue hair.

Not entirely sure how to respond you settle on saying Kaeya’s name, sounding unsure even though you’re one hundred percent sure it’s him.

“You’d be correct. Kaeya Alberich, at your service.” Comes his reply, a smirk that dances between flirty and teasing on his face.

Oooo that’s kinda smooth. You’re not one to fall in love at first sight - no matter how intriguing or fairytale-like it sounded - but you can admit when someone is attractive and good with their words.

You decide it’s only proper to introduce yourself, seeing as he did. When you finished, Kaeya’s response caught you a little off guard. He chuckled, something that mixes together deep and the right amount of raspy, “Oh I know who you are.”

“You… do?” you’re at a loss for words. How does he know you exactly? Seeing your perplexed expression he laughs yet again, eye closing as he smiles.

Resting his chin on the back of his hand when he finishes, Kaeya stares right at you, “But of course I know you. We did share quite a few classes in high school. That, and I’ve heard many things about you from the others.” You honestly don't want to know what your friends have said about you to him and before you could tell him such the waiter from earlier walks up to your table. Switching gears you quickly order your drink, Kaeya doing the same. When the waiter left a silence overtook. Unfortunately, you were never good at finding a way to start a conversation, what do you even begin to talk about???

Ah hell, what now? Shiiiiiiii- think think-

“Do you like the rain?” DAMMIT, NO!

SMOOTH! REAL SMOOTH ME! YES, LET'S TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER! You complete and utter dumbass! You’ve done it now! God-!

As berating words fill your mind - because of course they would, especially after that - Kaeya’s eye widened, clearly taken aback by the sudden - and stupid - question. Still, he knew he should answer. And tease you.

“My, was that really the best you could come up with? It’s rather cliché don’t you think?” he chuckled, but if it was teasing, good-natured or from discomfort you’re not too sure, “To answer though, no. I was never one for the rain.”

A far-off look clouded his eye, the earlier smile he wore shifting to something sombre. Fearing you struck a cord that shouldn’t have been touched you were quick to decide on apologizing. You couldn’t even get a word out though, both your phones buzzing simultaneously. Sharing a confused expression both you and Kaeya took a peek at your devices. On-screen you’re met with a notification from a group chat. It wasn’t too far-fetched to assume Kaeya got the same one.

- PROJECT GROUP -

Amber - Sent 2:49 PM

Hey everyone! I’m really sorry but I actually can’t go to today’s meeting, something came up!

Lumine - Sent 2:50 PM

It’s alright! Actually, Aether and I can’t make it either.

Eula - 2:50 PM

What a coincidence, nor can I.

Diluc - 2:51 PM

Jean felt ill so I’m taking care of her. I as well won’t be there

You watched as a few more texts were exchanged between the group before it finally went silent. Your table buddy stayed silent as well, processing just as you were.

“They wait until now to tell us this!?” You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. You have to wonder what went through your group's minds to make them wait until 45 after the set time to let everyone know.

“It is rather poor timing isn’t it?” Kaeya pipes up, shaking his head as he tucks his phone away. He didn’t look particularly upset, the crease of his brow saying that, at best, he found this slightly annoying. However, it’s easy to see that he finds it rather humorous as well. In all honesty, so do you.

“You can say that again…” you share a chuckle. The awkward silence from before seems to have left just as fast as it appeared, something you're grateful for. In between sips of your drink, you find a much better question to ask the man across from you. However, yet again something stops you from talking. This time, it’s Kaeya beating you to the punch. His inquiry/comment though nearly makes you choke on air.

“Romance, eh?” The skin on your neck and back shot up in temperature at his words, most likely from embarrassment. This could only mean one thing - he saw it. What else could he be referring to?

Your eyes trailed down to where he was looking. The book you had brought sat snuggly in your bag, the elegant printing of Pride and Prejudice just barely seen. You must’ve forgotten to zip it up earlier.

You couldn’t bring yourself to look back up at him after spying the novel, afraid of his next actions. Does he think of you oddly now? Does he see you as the stereotypical lovesick fool? You’re expecting Kaeya to laugh condescendingly, maybe let out a snort or scoff, despite how nice he’s been this whole time.

A kind, curious tone wasn’t what you expected, and yet, it’s what you got. “May I see it?”

You’re eyes shot back up to stare at him. You didn’t find any traces of a lie, just genuine curiosity.

Hesitantly you retrieved the book, passing it across the table to him. Kaeya took a few minutes to study the novel, read the back and flip through the pages. When he was done he handed it back, a charming smile on his face.

“Have you heard of Pride and Prejudice?” You asked, voice soft and almost hesitant. You’re still a little baffled at the exchange - like you just narrowly dodged a fatal bullet.

“I have. Venti wouldn’t stop talking about how it’s ‘a classic’ and ‘a must read’.”

“... Do you like romance novels?”

“I like many things. But yes, I do enjoy a good love story every once in a while. I’ll have to look into the book. Who knows, maybe I’ll learn something from it.” Mischief flashed in his deep blue eye, flirtatiously winking in your direction (or perhaps he blinked? You’ll never be totally sure, not with the off-white eye patch he wears, but it feels like it was the former.), “that is, I’d learn some tricks on love itself.”

- - - - -

Finding conversation came easily after that. Covering almost any and everything, you come to learn that you and Kaeya share a lot of things in common. There’s how you both like to read, yes, but there’s also how you both share a liking for music, certain types of flowers, small think like that.

There are also the things you don’t share. You found that Kaeya can appreciate a good glass of wine while you on the other hand aren’t the biggest drinker in town. Not to say you don’t have one every once in a while, but it’s obvious you don’t indulge as much as he does.

Then, well, there are just some things you both can’t see eye to eye on.

“Grape juice is good though!”

“Absolutely not! How could you ever drink something so unromantic!” the look he gave you when you told him that you didn’t mind the ‘unromantic’ drink was one of pure comedic disbelief. You kinda wished you took a picture.

“If it helps,” you begin, calming down from your wheezing fit long enough to talk, “I am more of an apple juice kind of person.” You watched as Kaeya rolled his eye, crossing his arms as he refused to look at you. His childish action made you burst into another fit of laughs. At one point your stomach started to hurt and you had to set your head on the table, wrapping an arm around your torso in hopes to alleviate the joyful pain.

While you suffered Kaeya took this chance to observe you. If anyone who knew him saw the smile he wore while gazing at you they’d say it was a true smile. Something genuine, rare, not a shadow of the flirty façade he dons 24/7. You were a joy to spend time with, and you made him feel so relaxed, how could he not let a smile slip?

A faint ding from his phone pulls him back to reality, as it does to you as well. You lift your head, actually having mellowed down now.

“Something wrong?” you ask, sipping from your third drink of the day. Kaeya looked almost sad for a second as he read whatever was on his phone, his expression changing back to its normal charming smile a moment later.

“Nothing of concern, no. My roommate just wanted to know when I’ll be back for dinner.” The mention of dinner has you checking the time, your eyes bulging as you read 5:10 PM.

“Oh! I’m so sorry I didn’t even realize!” Kaeya waved off your apology, assuring you that it was no way your fault as he too didn’t watch the time either.

Grabbing your bags and paying for your drinks the both of you stepped out for the first time in hours.

“It looks like it might rain…” you note. It’s true, the sky looks pretty dark, not a trace of the setting sun anywhere on the horizon.

As if some higher being was given a signal from you it began to rain. At first, it started as just one or two drops but that quickly changed into an all-out downpour. Kaeya glanced at you, amused at the timing.

“Well, today was fun. Perhaps I’ll see you some other time.” Opening up his umbrella, the bluenette steps out from under the veranda, exchanging one ‘final’ farewell.

Five steps later and the man turned around, making his way to stand in front of you again.

“Where’s your umbrella?” his question caught you off guard, you didn't think he noticed. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking.

“I didn’t bring one - didn’t know it would rain.”

“Allow me to walk you home then.” His offer, as well as the smile he offered, made your heart do flips. You’re no fool, you know exactly what he was getting at.

“Really it’s fine. I don’t live too far from here. I’ll just wait until the rain slows a little.” You try to reason. What you didn’t know was you just gave Kaeya the ammo he needed. His smile twists just a little more.

“If you live so close then it really won't be too much of a hassle to walk you home.” Seeing you open your mouth to try and protest some more, Kaeya interjects once more, “I insist. Think of it as payment for spending so much time with me.”

You honestly couldn't come up with anything more to say, and he looked like the kind that wouldn’t give up, so you relent, stepping to stand beside Kayea under the umbrella.

It’s like the moment you do so you forget how to operate. You don’t know where to put your hands - let them hang at your sides? Put them in your pockets? Do you cross them? - nor do you know how to angle your body so you both are comfortable.

The weight of an arm around your shoulders stops all thoughts from running through your mind. “Let me know if this makes you uncomfortable,” the way he says that oh so softly has your heart speeding up, words failing you. The most you could manage was a small ‘okay’.

As you walked down the street, giving directions when need be, you found yourself growing less tense than you were at first. You maybe even liked having Kaeya’s arm wrapped around you.

“Here we are” you point towards an apartment building that was nestled between two others. A few lights illuminated the soaked street, the light dancing on the concrete in many ways pretty.

“Alright,” your new friend walks you up to the overhang at the front door. “Now this is see you later,” he chuckles. You’re almost sad when he removes his arm from you, the loss of warmth cold and lonely.

“Yeah. I’ll see you in class Monday then?”

“Correct. Until next time then,” he waves a little and you nod, giving your own goodbyes before watching Kaeya turn and walk down the walkway then to the street. You wait those extra few minutes until he leaves your sight before entering your home.

Closing the door behind you, you lean yourself against it, finding yourself looking back on your day. You can’t believe you never hung out with him before. Truly, you were missing out. He was a joy to talk with and get to know, so much so that you hope to see him again far sooner than Monday.

You smile to yourself, “until next time then…”

- - - - -

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU STAGED THIS???”

Lumine smirked at you, crossing her arms. “Well, how else were you supposed to get to know Kaeya?”

“NORMALLY. LIKE, THROUGHOUT THE BRAINSTORMING SESSION!”

“Did my way work?

“...”

“Well?”

“Maybe”

“Then I win this fight.”

“Sometimes you can be a real devil you know that?”

Tag list: @spoopy-fish-writes // @that-enby-alien // @xenuuu

…

Wanna be tagged in future works? Consider filling out this form! And if you want to be removed just DM or send an ask into my inbox!

[Masterlist]

[No Genshin Masterlist Yet!]

[iamnmbr3]

I saw the ask about having the person feeling like that the Loki show is objectively bad. I liked the show, here is why.

I love Loki, and I love the MCU, but I don’t go into any of it expecting consistency. Tony and Loki are my favourite.

Tony goes through character development in his own movies, IM3 especially that main canon just kinda ignores. So I didn’t go into work he Loki show expecting them to get him consistent or right. I just went in prepared to enjoy the show for what it is in isolation. I also know that no one looks at the stories they write for the MCU critically, so I try and turn off that for a first time watch.

I really like the show, that doesn’t mean I think they made it consistent or in character for Loki. I get why people don’t like it.

I really like the TVA and all the concepts it introduced. I really liked seeing Tom acting his heart out. And I really like Loki/Sylvie because I find something very compelling about a character who hates themselves, meeting another version of themselves and being able to love them. It is not a ship I’m going to write fic about but I like them within the show.

Basically what I am saying is that I go into MCU media with the expectation they will mess up at least one character or plot point badly every time. I like the media for what it is, and I appreciate whatever it brings to the table that I can then cannibalise into da works.

Yeah that's fair. Everyone has a right to their own opinion. Fandom is better when there are a diversity of opinions and we can all respect each other and engage in open and good faith discussion rather than attacking people for having the "wrong" views or trying to harass them out of fandom.

For me personally I feel like the show fails on 3 fronts.

1) To me it fails as a Loki show. I really enjoy Loki as a character and I wanted a show about him. And I didn't personally see him in the show at all. I saw a completely different character who does not behave, speak, act, respond, react, stand, emote, or make choices like Loki does. He doesn't even LOOK like Loki because they did his hair and makeup wrong. And that's really what I wanted. I didn't want Larry (as I call the show character). I wanted Loki. That was what was advertised and to me he was so ooc that he was unrecognizable. If I just saw a clip out of context and didn't know what it was from I would have assumed I was seeing Tom in a totally different role.

Thor Ragnarok felt like a different take on Loki that definitely retconned some of his personality and history, but still felt like an alternate interpretation of the same character in the sense that I could recognize the character as Loki (albeit a different version of him); some people liked that, other didn't. But here it wasn't that. It just felt like a completely new (and to me far less interesting and compelling) character. And beyond that it felt like the show went out of its way to make a mockery of the character played by Tom and by extension anyone who ever cared about Loki's character. Like it felt like a mean spirited caricatured parody. Loki is also extremely sidelined in what is supposed to be his own show. And it most certainly didn't feel like a show about Loki, which is what I wanted. So for me the show didn't provide what I was looking for.

2) To me it also fails on its own merits. If I view it in isolation without comparing it to previous canon and just view it as its own thing it also fails. The quality of the dialogue felt very poor. None of the humor made me laugh and it all felt very juvenile and forced. The plotting and characterization seemed nonsensical and all over the place. Like Sylvie sets off those charges and the episode ends on a cliffhanger with that but then it's never addressed later.

The reason that Loki and Syvie allegedly falling in love breaks the timeline didn't really make sense. Sylvie is going around murdering timekeepers and yet Mobius somehow immediately like and trusts her and says he prefers her to Loki. Loki and Sylvie are simultaneously presented as the same person and also totally different people. Loki allegedly learns self love but we never see that - we see him call himself degrading things like pathetic. And we see him think that Sylvie is better than him. That doesn't seem like self love. The romance feels extremely rushed and unrealistic and awkward and we aren't given a compelling reason for why they are in love or what they even have in common. Sylvie doesn't really have much of a character. Mobius and Loki don't interact much and Mobius consistently mistreats him but Loki somehow thinks of him as a friend. Mobius is portrayed as a good guy for cheerfully carrying out the TVA's ends but Kang is a villain for creating the TVA. The TVA seems to be all made up of humans even though it's in charge of all reality.

If Loki did bad things, then the TVA did worse things and thus are not moral authorities. If the TVA’s actions are acceptable then so are Loki’s. If Loki was wrong to violently impose his will on a planet (let’s forget about the context with Thanos for a minute) then the TVA is wrong to violently impose its will on all of reality in order to eliminate free will. If Loki was wrong to kill a few people, then the TVA was certainly wrong to kill trillions. And thus neither Mobius nor the TVA are moral authorities when it comes to Loki because they are infinitely worse. If the actions that Mobius and the TVA took are acceptable, then there is no reason to criticize Loki because he did far less than them. Etc etc etc.

The cinematography is also very poor and unprofessional and the costumes look extremely cheap and unprofessional. The whole story feels confused and disjointed. The directing is bad because the actors are all very capable but the performances often feel wooden and forced and fake. And the pacing is terrible. A lot of it drags and then plot twists come out of nowhere with no setup so it just makes them feel jarring rather than earned or entertaining. 

3) To me it also fails on a moral front. The show contains a lot of problematic depictions and messages and promotes messages that are offensive or even downright harmful.

Mobius gleefully subjects Loki to physical torture by leaving him to be repeatedly beaten in the genital area. This is a very clearcut and straight forward example of physical torture. And Mobius feels no compassion for Loki or remorse over what he has done to him. If anything he seems to find it amusing. And certainly the audience is supposed to find it amusing (which is gross and harmful messaging on Disney’s part). He also subjects Loki to psychological torture. This is a fact. There are multiple instances in the show where the TVA and Mobius subject Loki to treatment that would meet the legal definition of torture under both US law and international law. Furthermore, Mobius and the TVA are holding Loki against his will and forcing him to labor without compensation or any hope of release because they view him as belonging to a group of people (Variants) that they view as inferior and not really people. That’s a pretty textbook case of slavery. So objectively Mobius is Loki’s jailer, torturer, captor, and enslaver. And yet Mobius is presented as justified in what he does to Loki. The writer and director have even called it therapy. And a result many people have parroted this which is very harmful.

The queer “representation” feels straight out of bigoted propaganda. Loki’s personality traits have been retconned to map onto harmful stereotypes about queer men. He is overly expressive, makes grand gestures, is flamboyant, cowardly, dishonest, weak, bad at fighting, lazy, spineless, meek, unused to exercise etc. Now a person could be all these things and also happen to be queer. However, Loki was never like this before. His character was retconned to be this way only in this series where he is confirmed to be queer.

Furthermore, the entire premise of the series seems to be that it is funny and entertaining and justified when Loki is dehumanized, mocked, humiliated, hurt, tortured, beaten, assaulted, and/or robbed of his dignity. That’s the premise. That’s the whole show.

In addition to pro torture and pro authoritarianism and pro victim blaming messaging the show also has problematic depictions of black characters  (see here and here), Asian people (see here) and also has a lot of fludphobia and transphobia issues. And much more.

@nikkoliferous has put together a great compendium here of various posts explaining the various issues with the show if you're curious about why some people disliked it.