#it felt a little embarrassing but also nice that they cared i guess XD

[blackjackkent]

Recently I was on vacation for a week and the Jimmy Johns delivery lady was like "Good to see you back, we were worried about you." 🥹

Starving to death this morning because ive been to the new local cafe twice this week already and if i go a third time ill look desperate.

[harpyjoy]

"I can't believe I didn't think of shipping these two before"

After thinking about it for a while I decided that it is better to tell it by a separate publication because it was seriously something too long xD

@rayshippouuchiha here are my delusions while I had a fever from the side effect of the vaccine...

It all started with the scene where Zero absorbs Ichiru towards the end of the second season, well in a way I think this part was a bit influenced by watching Hellsing, because at that point everything was combined with Zero, the fact that for having a life in which everything seems to go wrong (his family was murdered, he was turned into a vampire, he is about to go wild, the girl he loved turned out to be a vampire, he has been used as a pawn by another vampire and has to his brother dying in his arms) feels abandoned by god, so he abandons him in turn and Ichiru's blood flows to him...

(This is where I later realized that it might as well be a nice divergence for another even crazier ship like Alucard x Zero idk, but that's a can of worms I'm not willing to open right now)

...and a voice whispers an offer to him (because there always has to be a mystical and mysterious voice) that if he wants Ichiru to live. Now, I don't remember very well how the deal is going because after all it was a dream in the middle of a fever of like 39ºC but it would be something more or less like the two being born again as twin brothers, but this time there is no hunter's curse, Zero remembering all his past life but Ichiru won't remember anything.

The voice tells him that since it is an exchange of lives, he has to learn to live that new life and pay the price, whatever, between leaving that cell to continue doing what others want and deciding to take the reins for once in his life . Well, it's not difficult to choose, right? Zero chooses and reincarnates in the past as a pureblood baby vampire...

(and then he realized it was a damn cheating offer!)

In the arms of Shizuka Hio smile happily...

(what the hell is my life now?!)

...so apparently the price is to have this bloodsucking woman as his mother and to be a bloodsucker himself too, again ... but come on! at least now he's not going to fall to level E; so even though he's looking at Shizuka Hio's face in front of him now (what the heck? now that he notices it...is it normal for a hunter family to look so much like a pureblood family?) that it seems like now it's his mother, also, if that voice was telling the truth (which is very likely, since not all supernatural entities in the universe have the power to make you a reincarnation / time-dimension travel combo) Ichiru will be able to live a full life...

...and seeing a cute baby Ichiru in the arms of what seems to be his father in this life (that as my brain did not give for more, let's think that Shizuka's lover who was killed in the canon in this alternate universe was also a pureblood Hio cousin or something of her! more than anything because I don't want to think of another last name, and basically because I want her to be happy too) he has high hopes that it's true!

Anyway, the years pass and Zero learns that being a pureblood vampire is not so bad and since in this life Ichiru cuts his hair, Zero is the one who lets it grow (in honor of the Ichiru of his past life) although he still knows pierces because... why not?

Yes, the Council of Elders sucks, he had to live the early years of his second childhood in places without windows and the eyes of some noble vampires when they look at him are somewhat disturbing, but he has his brother safe and sound, and Shizuka...

(when she's not a bloodthirsty bitch fed for revenge)

...is actually a good mother, plus she has more strength in one hand than I could imagine and it feels pretty good to say "to hell with the Kurans", then the war between vampires and hunters breaks out and there are more pureblood gatherings than ever...

(and oh no, the damn Kuran! wait, since when are they three?)

...then, in one of those meetings Zero says "fuck it", because there is a guy who looks like the damn Kaname and a woman who is just like Yuuki ... and these old men from the Council do not shut up! so he escapes to breathe for a few moments and then he meets Rido Kuran and he honestly does not know what to think, he wants to hate him, but so many years have passed, he has Ichiru with him, he hardly remembers his human parents and he has enough with the discomfort he feels seeing Haruka and Juuri Kuran...

...and Rido looks so lonely that Zero almost sees himself in him when he was in his darkest moments in his old life and since Zero is not a heartless bastard he decides to talk to him about something random, and then the guy doesn't stop appearing everywhere!! and he first teases and laughs at Zero and then it seems that he can't understand what personal space is because he doesn't stop touching his hair and playing with the bell braided in his locks that Ichiru gave him and...

then he looks at him like he's...everything.

AND AT THIS POINT!! honestly with everything and my omniscient point of view even I was embarrassed to look at them because I felt like I was breaking into an intimate moment no matter they were just looking at each other because Rido looked so…thirsty.

He's basically a big cat and I think all the love, obsession and longing he felt for Juuri in the canon in this universe is focused on Zero, and the guy is The Yandere…Ichiru isn't impressed, but Zero seems to like him so meh.

And then it seems that pureblood vampires can have babies!! Because...who cares?

(Sincerely Zero no longer believes that something is going to surprise him)

They are not human, they are basically millennial immortal beings, one or two incredible things do not hurt and then the council of elders decides that they want to engage Rido with Ichiru (because he is the youngest), Zero has not even come out of shock when the two involved are already protesting very vocally and aggressively because who the hell came up with such a horrible idea?!, half the world and their mothers know that Rido and Zero are close! and Ichiru and Rido only interact when absolutely necessary (mostly because of Zero), fortunately the Council stops the proposal suddenly before it becomes more than a simple suggestion and...

then...I don't remember if when Rido and Zero get married they are Kuran or Hio?...

BUT, I remember that when you see them together they look like rock stars and they are the most atypical purebloods in history, where the other others look ethereal and fragile, they look dangerous and intimidating but equally or more attractive, like a seductive trap mortal.

They drive the Council absolutely crazy but they don’t care about them and they are a couple of cheeky, like very cheeky, I'm talking about public displays of affection and closeness that has more than one vampire looking away.

And so Zero is Senri's mother? (What the hell?!) Because let's remember that in the canon he is Rido's son with a noble and technically Yuuki and Kaname's cousin (?).... BUT! here his mom is Zero, because when Zero holds his baby for the first time and he is biting his finger to feed him with blood, the little one opens his eyes and Zero knows that look, he recognizes that light blue in apathetic eyes in the past and although now his hair may be more silver than dark he knows who he is, or rather who could have been (and damn he carried it in his womb for who knows how many months, it is his baby of course he keeps it)

THEN I WOKE UP!!  (」° ロ °)」

and I was left with a dazed and feverish haze sitting on the edge of my bed staring at a shoe for like 10 minutes desperately thinking what else I could remember about the crazy cool dream I just had so I could take notes on everything, because that was a damn REVELATION!!, and then do something, anything, just something because it was too good to be true and when I looked for Rido x Zero fics on the internet they were all dark and distressing and unfinished fics and that was a big NO! And guess who's scribbling half-formed sketches and ideas with the happiness of a kindergartener right now? I don't know if this is going to end in a fic or a fanart or a comic or what the hell, but now it's my baby.

[erinhime83]

Since APPARENTLY I did the designs all wrong (I won’t lie - doing  my own design of Evangelia was sort of a thinly veiled attempted to get @callistochan87 to redesign her herself.  >.>), I figured I’d make it my life mission this week to go through and, like, fix them.  Partially because in my fuming about finding out that two of the people were talking about this behind my back, I kept giving myself ideas.  >.<

I am pleasantly pleased with the design that @callistochan87 did for Evania/Evangelia, although I’m worried how much is actually influenced by my design and how much she actually decided to do on her own.  *shrug*  I just like the simplicity of it and how it does make her look like a goddess.  I kept forgetting to add in the pieces in front of her ears, lol.

Antigonus I did fiddle with a little bit.  Mostly, @callistochan87 mentioned that she thought it was funny having this super old guy traveling with a bunch of teenagers, and she wondered why I didn’t just...make someone new.  Well, mostly because I didn’t want to, and mostly because when she did create someone new when I decided the Guides were supposed to be younger, it felt...wrong. 

SO, I decided to age him down a little.  Which I suppose sort of defeats the purpose of @callistochan87 creating another character when I wanted to do the same, but ignore that.  He basically has the same backstory - he was the youngest Guide of the previous generation.  He’s the heir of the empire, being the Emperor’s nephew, and now that his Guide duties are over, he’s preparing to take over the Empire.  EXCEPT, the idiot new Guide managed to get himself killed, so Antigonus is temporarily taking over the duties as they try to find someone else to take over.  BUT THEN GUESS WHAT?  He’s about 35, so while he’s old, he’s not stupidly older than than, and is sort of more of a chaperone than anything else.

His outfit come from an old one @callistochan87 designed, and I figure it’s just, like, a traveling outfit?  idk

Freyja...omg, Freyja.  She caused most of my strife.  Like, I honestly didn’t change THAT MUCH of her design, just sort of little piddly stuff to make it look more visually appealing, but APPARENTLY, that was still bad.  I stewed and hemmed and hawed on this for quite a while, annoyed before it hit me - this is a a redesign.  Shizuka sort of went back to her roots.  Why couldn’t Freyja as well?

(And yes, I realize I was in the wrong, but like I said, I hadn’t changed her that much from her last design, and, well, these were done years ago so I sort of...forgot that she didn’t originally look like that.  >.<)

And I figured, ya know, since I had minorly changed Freyja and she didn’t like that, I had better change Desiree, too, because I drastically changed her.  I don’t care what @swankifiedcos says about this one, I am IN LOVE with her outfit.  <3  Her hair, though, was inspired by a recent picture of @swankifiedcos of her hair between dye jobs where it was pink at the tips and she looked SO PRETTY.  Sure, Desiree is brunette, not blond, but I like that look on her so much I wanted to recreate it somewhat, and she looks so nice! 

Frejya, well, I did sort of tweek her design slightly to what @callistochan87 did, mostly giving her cold shoulder sleeves as a sort of call back to her old sleeves.  I won’t lie - I did attempt to do them again and failed spectacularly.  Sorry.  But apparently she approves of this sleeve, so that’s...one less problem for me to deal with.  XD   Just so you know, I gave her hearts rather than flowers merely because I can’t draw flowers.  Consider it a style thing.  Like, in reality, she has flowers, but i just draw them as hearts.  I am SHOCKED that I was able to make the feathers as nice as I did, though!  This look makes SO MUCH more sense than the way we used to draw it.  Me likely. 

(Also, you might be thinking that she’s still wearing the pants.  I originally indended that, with the thought that she comes from a cold kindgom, but then decided they’re actually shorts that she ended up added to her outfit for modesty sake, much like Sethos did with his shirt.  :P)

I really wanted to redo Nannin’s outfit as well, but I’m sorry - I’m lazy, and her original outfit is both too detailed and too simple.  So I just made her top layer a darker pink, and I like it better.  Also made her a blond again with the idea that the people of Melohdia like like normal ass humans, and the Chosen have colored hair, and the Guides have unnatural colored eyes, which is how people can tell they’re Guides.

Geoffrey (I’m thinking of renaming him Geauffery, because that’s how I prenounce it in my head) over there gets a new design as well because I didn’t care for his other one.  >.<  Also, decided, as much as I like the name Dimitri Kaminiski, I;m going to go ahead and make him Owen again.  Mostly because he’s sort of shifted more into being Owen.  I was sort of going with this old look while making it look a little more medieval, and I like it.  I also decided he’s not a soothsayer, but rather a magician.mage.

Which is sort of similar to Evangelia’s power, but not quite.  She uses the power of miracles, whereas he uses actual magic.  Its sort of like how Shizuka and Freyja’s power is similar, but Frejya’s is a little weaker.  (Shizuka has mastery over all weapons, whereas Freyja just has mastery over bludgeoning people with a huge ass axe.  But she has the benefit of also having  magic, whereas Shizuka can just use some fire magic.)

The next design is where it get all long and involved.  Basically as I was stewing about having my feelings hurt and how I was going to hide everything in my annoyance, I THINK I was briefly reminded of the last time I screwed up and within that instance a brilliant idea came to me, mostly because I needed more villains.  

I remember I really like Astrid’s design, but looking back, I’m sort of confused as to why?  It doesn’t look at all better than Freyja’s.  >.<  Anyway, the thought is simple - when the Chosen are originally yanked into Melohdia, Nuncio replaces one of them with one of his own that would be easily manipulated.  Why Freyja, you ask?  Plot reasons, since it does help explain the whole Nannin thing a lot better.  The thing is, though, that Ariadne and Atalo sort of find out and drag Freyja in as well, except she ends up in Baldernan rather than Azibo with the rest of the Chosen.

So the Chosen are in Azibo thinking Astrid is one of them, except they don’t really vibe with her that well.  They just figure it’s because they can’t like everyone, and ignore it.  Astrid herself doesn’t really suspect anything.  But then they travel to Baldurnan and find Freyja there, who they do vibe with very well, and they find out that Astrid is a fake. 

Which would be all fine and well.  Even Freyja’s willing to give the girl a chance because, hey, it’s not her fault she was falsely brought into this world with no purpose.  Except Astrid is a spoiled bitch and takes it as an affront that they would even want to include Freyja at all.  So she just sort of runs off and Nuncio catches up to her, and convinces her that she’s the real one, and and she goes around antagonizing the group from time to time.  They think she’s in league with Atalo at first until they find out of the truth.

NEW IDEA.  I actually had this very vague idea while musing around, but @callistochan87 had another idea that was similar enough that I can change things to make it work WAY better.  So, the new idea is mostly that Nuncio pulls Astrid into Melohdia way before the others.  The people are rather confused, certainly, but it’s not 100% unheard of one Chosen being brought over.  So she’s treated like something of a god and spoiled further, and Nuncio pretty much convinces her that she’s the soul savior of Melohdia. He assigns Thor to be her Guide, although he’s just some Random Dude (because I decided that matching genders to the Chosen is sort of weird, so Nannin is a full Guide now).

BUT Ariadne and Atalo end up pulling the REAL Chosen a month or so later, which REALLY pull the people for a loop, and they realize that Astrid is a fake once they realize that Thor isn’t a real Guide and that Nannin claims Freyja.  The group attempts to assimilate Astrid in with them, because they realize it’s not HER fault all this happened, but since she’s a fake Chosen AND a narcissistic bitch, they end up not viving all that well, and she ends up running away in anger and embarrassment.

Nuncio sort of blames the whole thing on Atalo somehow, since the people forgot that Ariadne is the only one who can pull true Chosen into the world, mostly to save face.

Astrid and Thor do end up joining with Atalo for a little bit, because he’s trying to be sympathetic to her as well, but their goals aren’t really the same.  She does prove to be a major threat to the group because she DOES have the power of a Chosen, although they’re sort of weak.  

Her real name is Katelyn Davis, and she’s pretty much the opposite of the other Chosen.  She’s a complete social butterfly, the sort to think the world revolves around her.  She’s not happy unless she’s around people, whereas the other Chosen are pretty much introverted and would prefer to keep to themselves. 

Her Guide’s name is Thor (I keep calling him that in my head, I think because of Frejya being named after a god), and he is, in fact, a true Guide.  It’s just that he’s not a very good one, nor is he a good person.  He’s a bandit and delights in the misfortunes of others.  The other Guides avoided him at all costs, and wasn’t sure why he was chosen to be a Guide.  He goes off with Astrid after they kick him out of the group when Freyja chooses Nannin over him.  (The two of them became close in the month Frejya was stuck there on her own, so of course she’d want to have her stay with her.)

The last picture was just me giving them their original hair colors just for the hell of it, and now I’m torn.  >.<  Because I like these as well.  I mean, I like the idea of the colored hair being how you can tell they’re the Chosen, BUT I also, you know, like the original colors BECAUSE they are the original colors.  >.<

[heavymetalchemist]

i've been reading a bunch of xianxia/cultivation-setting danmei since reading mdzs last year and tbh the sex scenes in mdzs are p similar to the sex scenes in those novels as well, so i think some of the stuff of like, how sex is described is just a trope? the svsss sex scene (well the main story one at least/especially) is just a little more extreme, i think intentionally due to svsss's nature as a parody/deconstruction of certain tropes/genres? it's definitely a lot and that's coming from someone who has a lot of thoughts about that scene's thematic and character arc implications. i think it's really interesting and i still hate to read it lol. anyway, i'd love to hear what you think about svsss after the extras, it was the extras that won me over when i was still not sure how i felt about bingqiu/svsss after finishing the main story

I mean... I think you have a point about that being a bit of a deconstruction, almost like a "ha ha the sex scene is supposed to be fanservice-y and if you're reading the book from the protagonist's POV it is, but because we're seeing it from SQQ's perspective it's awful" kind of thing? But yeah I didn't enjoy reading it and my brain was just kind of like "NO WHY"

I'm still working on the extras but I've read some of the LBH/SQQ and it's definitely better! Very interesting with the "other" LBH showing up and being weirdly jealous of alternate SQQ - I guess that LBH really is an incurable M, lol. It still feels like an exhausting relationship and SQQ's inner monologue complains constantly about the glass heart and all, but there's a sense of like "yeah he's a lot but also of course I'll put up with it, it's LBH after all" that makes it a lot more palatable. But it's weird, because like, in the extra where they go back to that town and meet that very first demon again (the skinner) and they're getting all flirty? And it's cute? But then the demon is like "lol you're getting fucked by your disciple what great retribution I can finally be at peace" and SQQ is like "oh shit that demon is right what have I become???" I'm left wondering - bro are you into this or not? Or is it that you are into it, but you have this internalized homophobia that makes you embarrassed? But in that other extra he gets the offer to top and turns it down? I feel like I'm overthinking this!

Either way it's honestly nice to see them in a low-stakes domestic situation and see that even with the glass heart/vinegar drinking, SQQ really seems to care about LBH and isn't just, like, taking one for the team, as it were. And we get a scene where he enjoys it! And then it gets all awkward because the other disciples are there and that's funny! And LBH is shamelessly kinky and that's kind of hilarious!

But yeah, I haven't read a whole lot of danmei but I think that would make sense that it's a bit of a trope for those novels. I was certainly laughing at the mysteriously self-lubricating fingers, like, I guess that's the protagonist halo again XD

[krittikamoon]

Weeell since you rebloged the post with questions to be asked, I suppose you are in the mood for writing and I am in the mood to read so here is the whole interview that I prepared for you in numbers: 20,31,35,42,46, 57,so get comfy and whenever you are ready you can begin🎬 hehe😁😁😁💌🤍💛

MY FAVORITE PERSON SENT AN ASK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO! I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A NICE DAY! Muah! Thank you sm for sending an ask! Okay so here I go:

(biggest deal breaker)

20: I'd say when people are too hooked on to their past, I've always dated guys who couldn't get over their past relationships and I've always helped them heal over it, I've realised it's not my responsibility to heal everyone, but I still do oh god smh, but it's a huge deal breaker for me! I'm a very 'now, in the moment' kinda person :D or maybe too futuristic (screams sag dominance). Also people who are not ambitious? Or people who lack drive, like I can be friends w them and all but idk why I just can't vibe with people who lack vision and drive for some reason! Oh and people who disrespect me, that's a huge deal breaker!

(last awkward situation)

31: My last awkward situation happened a week ago haha! It's so funny I can't even-

Ok so I was at the airport and I ordered a cup of hot chocolate, I got distracted after paying for my hot chocolate and when I looked at the counter there was a cup so I mindlessly picked it up thinking it was mine and went to my table, I was wondering how fast their service was and I did tip them a huge amount for it, but my hot chocolate tasted really strange. After 5 minutes I see a little boy standing near the counter with the barista, the barista called out my name, he was like "ma'am you picked up the wrong order, the cup you picked was this little gentleman's cappuccino", OHMYGOD, I felt so bad for drinking his coffee, I got him a cappuccino and his favorite muffin. It was so embarrassing and guess what my Aries rising mom was the one laughing the loudest, too awkward for me aha!

(my quirks)

35: Mhm, I'd say I have many quirks. I'm a very loud person, and I never tone down my voice when I'm happy, I've stopped doing that tho! The thing is I wear my emotions on my sleeve (I'm an Aries moon 1st house), so whenever I'm happy or around my friends, I'm REALLY loud yk, my acquaintances tell me to tone it down but I don't because I live for free expression! (My friends never tell me to tone it down, so I used the word acquaintances). Also, I wear traditionals all the time, people find it really weird (I'm a cancer Jupiter 4h, very fascinated by my roots and culture, I'm a Hindu), so I'm always wearing a bindi kurta (or saree) and people always suggest me to wear something 'modern' as my traditionals don't match my age and guess what IDGAF ahahaha!

(what do I daydream about)

42: I daydream about my future sm!! (I'm a very futuristic person, thanks sag sun/merc 9h), I daydream about pampering my kids, I daydream about me wearing the olive green uniform (I aspire to be an army officer), I daydream about my workplace, I daydream about being a successful woman! I daydream about teaching poor kids or either funding their education (Neptune 10h ahah), these are some major things I daydream about!

(most dangerous thing I've ever done)

46: I've done a lot dangerous and risky things tho xD (you see the mars dominance come thru), but I'd say the most dangerous thing I've ever done is helping a girl being harrassed by a group of boys at a very lonely place in the dark. Ig it was 9 pm? I was on my way back to home after my dance practice, and the road is very isolated by that hour, I heard a girl scream for help. I was so scared, I could feel my heart pound so badly, around 3-4 guys ganged a girl, I immediately rushed and pushed them away harshly, and I called the police up and screamed at the top of my voice, they thankfully ran away. I was shaking the entire time, but yay!

(recent trends that I hate the most)

57: There are so many trends I don't like xD, but I'd definitely say the rise of fast fashion, teenagers are so obsessed with these fast fashion brands like Shein, Zara, h and m etc, they're not aware of the repercussions and it's not their fault. I've visited manufacturing houses of these fast brands (I'm a commercial student), and I've seen how hard these workers work in such dire conditions and how less they are paid for it. And the fact that these brands are continuously harming the environment at such a huge scale scares me, ig it's high time we should collectively boycott such brands.

Here's a video if some of yall don't know what I'm talking about

ALSO! THANK YOU SM AGAIN FOR SENDING THE ASK! ILYTM! AND I ADORE YOU THE MOST! JUST KNOW THAT

Muah LOVE YOU, TAKE CARE, sending love and blessings your way 🫂💛

[merakiui]

Wow! An imagines blog for afterlife! First one as far as I can see... I wish you lots of fun with this! I wonder what your favourite characters from the game are? For me it's going to be Sian and Quincy (I first think I was going to hate this little devil brat but here I am XD). If you don't mind you can do relationship hc's with them and characters of your choice if you don't mind. I don't really have anything specific in mind, just something fluffy, sorry for that! Welcome and have a nice day!

(Is it really the first? Whoa! My favorites so far would have to be Ell and Verine! There’s something refreshing about Ell’s optimistic energy, and Verine seems so soft uwu But Sian and Quincy are also growing on me too. Either way, you’ve got good taste~ Please enjoy these hcs and thank you for being the first request, anon! :D)

Relationship HCs (Sian, Quincy, Ell, and Verine)

🎤 Sian 🎤

He refuses to admit to his feelings in the beginning. Why, you may ask? Simple: It’s embarrassing.

So he does what any normal tsundere would do in that sort of situation. He pushes you away by feigning his disinterest.

Naturally, his behavior comes off as rude and abrupt, but you’re able to see past that cold exterior.

Whenever you send a smile his way or compliment him for his good work, he’s quick to deny it. Though the bright blush on his cheeks always contradicts whatever he might say.

Sometimes he thinks you just enjoy messing with him, if only to see him turn red. It’s quite cute, and you can’t help but giggle when he starts to yell.

“It’s not adorable, so stop laughing! And don’t call me cute either!”

Once you’re together, Sian drops his rude act and becomes very affectionate. He still gets shy over small aspects of your relationship, such as holding hands in public or even mustering the courage to kiss you whenever he feels like it.

Kati will definitely tease Sian whenever he talks about his wonderful, loving manager, and Cyrille will provide him with all sorts of scientific facts about the prospect of being in love, how long it exactly lasts, and why relationships are so important in terms of social interaction.

Sian does his best to ignore them, but he always finds himself getting embarrassed. “Stay out of my personal life! I don’t need your help!” Yes, he’s also blushing while he says this.

Underneath that tsundere behavior is a sweet boy who does his best to give you a perfect relationship.

He’ll take you to his favorite places to eat, claiming that you have to try some of the foods he normally gets. In return, you’ll open his horizons to the things you enjoy eating.

Definitely goes to karaoke with you! The two of you sing to your hearts’ content, sharing a few laughs at the impossible-to-hit high notes. Sian manages to surprise you the first time you hear him sing, and when you make a comment he gets extremely flustered.

On days where the weather isn’t the best, the two of you might stay inside to play card games, making small bets every now and then. Most of these bets are about the number of kisses or hugs the other will receive, and when that’s on the line Sian plays exceptionally better.

He’s written songs before, and now that the two of you are in a relationship some of these are about you. You wouldn’t have known about this had you not found a journal detailing different lyrics and song titles.

Waiting for a Sian x [insert utaite name here] collaboration.

When you confronted Sian about it, he became a mess.

Sian’s never let anyone see any of his creative work before, so this was enough to bring him close to tearing up out of pure embarrassment. He feels as though he could just die on the spot.

You understand his reaction, so you’re quick to close the journal, assuring him that you won’t pry further unless he willingly tells you more.

It takes a bit before he’s confident to actually show you and explain his thought process behind certain lyrics, but he trusts you enough and he knows you won’t laugh at him.

You’re his biggest muse when it comes to songwriting. (You’re also his biggest supporter.)

You’ll catch him humming under his breath to certain songs, and he’ll even start to mumble lyrics he’s made up on the spot. You’ll chime in with your own input, and he’ll be quick to write it down if it strikes a chord in his inspiration.

Unfortunately, his memory isn’t the best, so he often forgets things like anniversaries and special dates. He’ll always apologize with his head bowed whenever this happens, but you never seem too bothered. How can you be upset with someone as affectionate and caring as him?

In times of need, he’ll be there to assist you, as he doesn’t want you to stress yourself out. After all, it isn’t fair for his precious lover to carry overwhelming burdens all on their own.

You’ll always find yourself waking up beside the best boyfriend in the world, who will do absolutely anything for you. At the start of the relationship, he tried to do so many things to impress you. He cooked, cleaned, and made sure to always message you when you’re apart. Eventually, you had to tell him to just be himself and to stop taking advice from relationship blogs.

Please give this boy all the love in the world, and he’ll return it tenfold—albeit with a flustered stutter and pink cheeks.

🔥 Quincy 🔥

As the future Lord of the Underworld, Quincy’s quick to let others know of his position as a devil. Bow before him because it’s either his way or the highway.

He has high hopes for you and even higher hopes for himself.

Quincy will be especially impressed if you’re forward and confident in the relationship, but if you’re not that’s fine. It just means he’ll have to take the lead, which is obviously the best course of action, right? His judgement is flawless!

Just know that if anyone messes with his beloved manager, he’ll have no problem putting a curse on the unfortunate soul who decided to bother you. It’s all in good fun, so don’t worry about those silly humans who are now suffering under the weight of a heavy enchantment.

“Looks like my finger slipped. Guess you’ll have to use your puny brain to figure a way out of that. Hmph!” (Based on that cocky smirk, you’d say he’s quite satisfied with his work.)

He may even teach you a few things about the different types of magic, as he wants you to be as good as he is. Oh, but not too good! Quincy prides himself on his skills far too much to let anyone surpass him.

Every now and then, he’ll tease you about anything and everything—no matter how insignificant it is. Maybe you were late to clock in and Nyang Lead Manager scolded you, or perhaps you accidentally forget your lunch. Either way, he’s going to poke fun at those mishaps.

“Ehh? How could you forget when I reminded you earlier? Well, I suppose you can have some of my lunch. ...If you can handle it, that is.”

Spicy food is his life. He probably participates in those challenges at restaurants just to prove that he can absolutely own the competition.

Petition to get Quincy on Hot Ones.

If you’re also a fan of spicy things, it’ll be a contest to see who can handle the most spice. He ends up winning most of the time, but that’s mainly just because he’s a devil who’s used to scorching heat.

If you aren’t, he’ll be pleased to hold the title as someone who can handle extreme foods really well.

Quincy doesn’t like wasting his time on anything small, so there will always be a purpose behind what he does.

Your dates are quite the colorful variety, ranging from spending the day mixing up new elixirs to sharing stories about the Underworld. One day he’d like to show you around if you’re up for it, but the scenery might take some getting used to.

He’ll ensure that you’re never bored by dragging you around to do whatever the two of you deem exciting. When you get to relax from purifying vengeful spirits, you might find yourselves in the human world disguised under the deceptive properties of Humanizer to visit amusement parks, food vendors, and even occult shops.

The relationship is upbeat, and it keeps you on your toes. You’re never going to feel bored again with Quincy around.

Despite his teasing remarks and overflowing pride, Quincy values you a lot, and when it’s just the two of you he’ll be very endearing. It tends to catch you off guard; one minute he’s laughing about messing with Sian and the next he’s moving in to steal a quick kiss.

You’ll have to deal with any reptiles or insects that happen to cross his path, as he can’t stand them. But if you can’t handle them either, then you’ll seek out Jamie. At least he can keep them safe from Kirr and Aitachi. And from your spooked boyfriend, who wants those critters out of his sight. 

Quincy will remind you to come to him if you’re ever worried over something. His advice may not be the most ground-breaking, but it’s the thought that counts. He’s willing to spend hours giving you a friendly pep-talk, and you’re bound to come out of your gloom with a fresh perspective.

☀️ Ell ☀️

He’s a ball of energetic sunshine, so be ready for a very fun, joyful relationship!

Ell always puts you first, ensuring your happiness and well-being.

Honesty is key in this relationship, and that’s mainly because he can’t lie due to his constant sneezing.

And that’s okay because he has nothing to lie about anyways! He doesn’t want to hide anything from you; he’d rather you know than try to keep it a secret.

Imagine all of the cute dates! The both of you could go to bakeries and and sweet shops to try all sorts of delicious treats. Ell would be fond of anything sugary, insisting on playfully feeding you while you’re out in public. Or the two of you could visit craft stores so he can get more supplies for his needle felting.

He’s very big on PDA. Expect lots of hand-holding, random hugs, and kisses on the cheek—even around others when you least expect it. He’ll always smile at you, commenting on how charming you look when you blush at his sudden displays of affection.

Though he’ll try his best to tone it down if Nyang Lead Manager says something about it during work hours. He’ll quietly whine and protest as he tries to explain that it’s hard to resist. He just loves you so much! His complaints tend to get cut off once he starts to sneeze, though.

Along with gifting you his needle felting creations, he’ll also play the lyre for you. He’d be so excited to show you all of the beautiful music it can make. Sometimes he’ll play a few soothing melodies if you have trouble falling asleep.

Speaking of sleep, he adores cuddling. You’ll probably wake up each morning with him clinging to you, the blanket cast aside.

If you’re fond of taking photos, he’ll let you use the light from his halo to brighten the pictures. It makes for a perfect ring light, and he doesn’t mind others wanting to use it. After all, Licht and Kati like to use it for their SNS, so you should too.

If you’re ever having a bad day, Ell will be there to make it better. He’ll do all sorts of things for you, hearing you out when you vent to him about what’s bothering you and even attempting to make a few tiny miracles happen. Anything for his favorite person in the world!

There are times when he feels down as well, but it’s not for long. You’ll always be there to cheer him up. He’s fortunate that you have the patience to help him put his negative emotions into words, and you’ll even sit through all of the times he sneezes. For that, he’s very grateful.

His heart beats faster and he gets bashful when you praise him, but he’ll always fire back with plenty of genuine compliments so you won’t feel left out. There’s lots of love to go around.

Overall, the relationship is so sweet and enjoyable. Ell makes sure there’s never a dull moment when you’re with him, and he truly believes that the two of you will be together for a long time.

He loves you with all of his angelic heart.

“I wish we could spend more time together, but Nyang Lead Manager is giving us so much work. It’s really not—achoo!”

💊 Verine 💊

At first, Verine wonders if the reason you chose to be near him is because of the desire to protect such a sickly Soul Reaper. It bothers him to no end, as he does his best to stay strong despite always having to take different medicines and vitamins.

Once he realizes that you’re not there to pester him about his health, he’s pleasantly surprised. He’s used to others giving him looks of pity, so when you offer your support he can’t help but feel warm inside.

It actually takes him quite a while to confess; the stress of it all was like attempting to find the correct medicine for a specific ailment.

Still, he manages to push his self-consciousness aside in favor of his heart’s wishes, and it succeeds! Luckily for him, since Verine believed his chances were very slim.

While Mori considers him to be a paper doll, you think the opposite. Your boyfriend may be physically weak, but he’s got a strong will and is incredibly gentle with you.

Even if he acts like the presences of others disturbs him, he’s actually quite happy to be near the Soul Reapers. He’s always interacting with the Reapers in Diluculo, but he finds that your company is by far the best.

Most of your dates consist of staying indoors, since Verine doesn’t like the overwhelming temperatures of the outside world. (Occasionally, he’ll sacrifice his comfort so that you can enjoy the outdoors every now and then.)

However, the two of you still find plenty of things to do while inside. From watching your favorite films to assisting Verine with his medicinal herb garden, a lot of these cozy dates are quite serene.

He loves it when you cook his favorite foods. Any meal prepared by your loving hands is a gift he treasures—so much so that he thoroughly believes it’ll heal his aches and pains. Sometimes he doesn’t know how to return the gesture, so you’ll have to reassure him that you don’t need anything. Just his love is enough, and that makes him smile a bit.

Verine is touch-starved since most of his living life was spent in a hospital bed and the only contact he ever received was from doctors checking his vitals. So he’s always eager to let you hug and kiss him.

He might not be into cuddling at first only because he’s afraid his constant coughing will disrupt the calm atmosphere, but once you explain that that doesn’t bother you he’s willing to give it a try. He ends up liking it more than he thought he would, which results in lazy days where the two of you just nap in each other’s arms.

He’ll always be there for you no matter what, and he checks to make sure you’re healthy. Your physical and mental health is very important to him.

If the the two of you ever get into a disagreement, he may bottle up his true feelings for the sake of pacifying you. In the end, both of you talk through it, and this allows Verine to slowly but surely open up about how he really feels.

Verine might keep a lot of his emotions to himself when around the others, but with you he doesn’t have to.

“Ah, I must’ve fainted again. I really am useless.”

When he gets like that, just tell this sweetheart he’s in no way useless. He’s perfect in your eyes, even with his coughing and eternal illnesses, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[dahniwitchoflight]

Homesquared Chapter 16

Alrighty, that was a fun tangent, now back to John it seems?

Oh, no, Narration of John (So Actually Dirk, speak of the devil and he shall appear and all that etc etc)

“ leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had. “

pfft lol so Im not the only one that thought it would be funny if that scene was interpreted in a Pale Romantic light, even though that really wasn’t what was happening

OIh! but we still get Roxy, just the other version of Roxy

Roxy subtly being like “hey!! shit has apparently gone down, were not exactly close atm but I feel bad about you dying to want to know if youre still alive so im gonna message you while trying to make it look like i dont care about it as much as I do”

JOHN: trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so

and the wonderful question is, what IS going be happening with you now John?

Roxy looking nice and casual, but also yeah narration, why are you making this ominous, its not like Roxy’s out here to double spy on behalf of Jane, I don’t think Roxys on her side THAT much

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out

ROXY: but so far so good

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Roxy once again being a master of hiding how shes feeling, even when trying to open up, feeling pretty stressed about whats happening with Jane, understandable, the exclamation points give it away lol

The narration is really trying to make John nervous though

OH lol that was the implication haha no lol John it obviously wasn’t that

“John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced? He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.“

lol once again, Dirk has no idea how to read Roxy at all and just trips over himself and his assumptions XD

Yeah, looks like Roxy not on the Jane train and is doing some takesies backsies, shes glossing over her feelings on the matter still though, I know thats par for the course of how Roxy tends to handle stuff too but I wish shed open up a bit more, but maybe shes playing the smart game, yknow, knowing that Dirk has a hard time reading her, so glossing over stuff is how you protect yourself against the narrative force, confusion and vaguery in the narrative and her actions only helps her to keep control over it, because at any point, you can decide to “clear up” any narrative “miscommunication” or “confusion” and lay down what is it thats actually happening with you any time you want

Void working in the behind the scenes to do what they want

JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE.

JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house?

JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self?

JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know?

JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something?

JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames.

JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it.

JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late?

JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.

JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good.

JOHN: but that’s just bullshit.

JOHN: it DID feel good.

JOHN: i DO feel free.

JOHN: sorry.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize

ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn

JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Im pretty sure you’re talking about a gender thing John, like, very 100% sure now this is what’s happening

because if you were actually a girl, of course you’re dad leaving all these notes about how one day hes gonna be so proud of the man youll become, yeah, that can feel a little pressuring, even if your dad didnt mean it like that, since he was unfailingly the kind of dad just bumbling around trying to understand their kid as best they could and leave encouragements everywhere, thats what his intent was, but all his notes come off a bit wrong in particular issues

remember the note under the fridge that was all like “SON. IF YOURE READING THIS NOTE, YOUVE FINALLY BECOME STRONG ENOUGH OF A MAN TO PICK UP THE FRIDGE.” not exactly that but that was always the vibe Dad’s little notes always had

Yeah, i can see how John would view it as a bit off, but if he hadnt the self awareness to realize it was a gender thing at the time, hed be understandly confused as to why such a thing would bother him

now though, he’s realizing, maybe, he doesn’t exactly want to be the man his dad always encouraged him to be

John does seem a lot happier here in his convo with Roxy than he did on his own when the house was burning, that conversation with karkat left me wondering if John was about to start dissociating he was so down, but here he says he feels freeing and happy about it?

ROXY: but like now that u mention it

ROXY: *meaningful pause*

JOHN: …

JOHN: i

JOHN:

John’s beginning to question stuff, or acknowledge that he’s questioning stuff, cuz it’s true, and hes feeling happy about it, in a way that he wasnt before, but he hasnt quite connected the dots here between the happy feeling and what exactly he has to be happy about

ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push

ROXY: we both got sick muscles

ROXY: no other adjectives necessary

JOHN: yeah ok.

Yeah Roxy’s 100% picked up on it, and maybe Dirk has as well if the narration is commenting on it

Alrighty then, to the secret lair under the bed!

oh I just noticed how kind of cute and interesting Roxy’s nickname for Harry is, “Lil H A” Harry Anderson shortens to Ha like laughter haha

and if Harry had Roxy’s last name, it’d be Harry Anderson Lalonde

Lil HAL

lol what is Callie doing under Roxy’s secret bedchamber XD

This whole secret bedchamber thing is turning into one big metaphor isn’t it?

That thing behind the curtain kind of looks like the Attic Portal shape from Hiveswap though

that’d be neat if that was it, like obviously we knew one of the cherubs had to have something to do with that portal just going by the design of it alone

Honestly it makes sense that Callie is doing it under the curtain of Roxy’s Void, it’s honestly the safest place to do something like that

lol Calliope has grown past writing fanfic about shipping and being in love, now the drama of broken relationships and divorce is all the rage XD character growth? haha

CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.

CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point.

Calliope just burned him harder than his childhood home’s destruction

CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.

have you been talking to Jake lol (I mean, probably Original Grandpa Jake tbh if that portal is actually the portal)

Alright so John is getting caught up on the major plot points, Earth C is indeed in the large black hole, his choice didn’t matter since both choices happened anyway yadda yadda

CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip.

CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads".

CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads.

yup yup yup pretty par for the course of timesplits in homestuck so far

CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are".

yup, this is true, the ending’s of both referenced the others, so it’s disingenuous to say one is “canon” while the other isn’t

one is simply in the realm of actual possibility, the other is in the realm of unlikely possibility

More than likely, John would have chosen to leave and go die and be the hero like in Meat, but there was still the possibility that he would stay, even if it was unlikelier than the other, but since both were possible choices for him to realistically make, both actually happened for real

CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity

that’s interesting, so there’s the original meteor that crashed into the surface of Earth C, and it’s in here that the singularity of what I don’t wanna call the Green Hole to match the Green Sun when I wanna talk about this specific Black Hole lolol

but yeah, here in this meteor lies the crux of the paradox it seems, interesting, also interesting again, this is where that Hiveswap Portal is

Hiveswap does have a plot point of “Joey must do thing in 11 days otherwise Earth and Alternia will be destroyed” and the only known destruction event of Earth and Alternia so far in canon is the Green Sun’s Creation from the destruction of both universes (and then later Callie’s destruction of the green sun into the black hole) so is Hiveswap gonna be a factor in the green sun’s destruction/creation as well? (Joey has the symbol of the Green Sun for a reason, I’m super curious as to what factor Joey has in relation to the Green Sun’s Existence, We still don’t know what the fact those black monsters are too, they’re like nega-first guardians, the kind of things that look like would come out of a Black Hole that came from the Green Sun tbh)

It’s all inter-related I tells ya

ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love

JOHN: aw.

You say that now but

CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them.

CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish.

CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart!

CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been.

yeah that’s basically how this multiverse’s reality works, the future is a thing that already physically exists, just in a different location in the universe somewhere else

time travel and spacial teleportation could be said to be the same thing all along

that’s why violating the events of the future has actual consequences, because its like asking to go somewhere that doesn’t exist but how has to exist because it’s the future, too much of that and reality starts cracking at the seams to make room

same thing happens with sessions and playing sburb

the planets and dreaming moons and all that simultaneously have always existed here, and started existing only because the player played the game and the planets were generated upon entering a session, but to the player involved, it looks and feels like you are just being teleported to a different location in the universe, because you also kind of are

CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary.

CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence.

CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon.

CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist!

So you’re just in a little seperated bubble, that’s not connect temporally to any other place of existence, you aren’t anywhere in the past or the future of anywhere else

nowhere leads here, and here can not lead outwards either, theoretically, and yes it exists, so it must also

JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...?

CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal.

CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific.

JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that.

CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U

CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley.

CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u=

CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So someone else definitely has managed to do such a thing

JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything?

JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal?

CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not.

CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm.

JOHN: oh.

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.

CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.

CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u

JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

yeah, so because here in the black hole neither affects the past or the future of anywhere else, being so disconnected, they are technically free of the reigns of the Alpha Timeline that exists elsewhere in the multiverse

the Alpha Timeline now being understood to simply mean, The Narrative

Things are the way they are because they are thus written to be so

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth.

CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher.

ROXY: its total bs is what it is

CALLIOPE: right, yes.

CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite.

CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Hmmm. It’s a dangerous idea to be playing with for sure, to decide all the black pieces in the game of chess suddenly become white, it is a very flip turning of reality upside down to be sure

To be honest, I’d think you’d need a powerful Doom player at your disposal to even try something like this

or actually, a powerful Doom user would be most likely to shut this entire thing down, knowing how bad of an idea it’d be, maybe it’s more you need a powerful Life player to do something like this instead

is that also why Dirk viewed Jane as an ally then? She would technically have the kind of power to upend the black and white doomy laws of reality if driven to her full potential, i mean obviously yes, we know this already because of the candy colored I-can-do-whatever-I-want-with-no-consequences lollipop

Is this what Calliope hopes to achieve with the Hiveswap Portal then? her goals for Joey and friends are to be the ones to prevent their universe’s twin destructions, and thus the Green Sun’s initial existence and then also the destruction into the Black Hole after the fact? that would be one way to prevent the Black Hole from existing, making it so the thing that creates the black hole never exists either

and that's certainly a canon event that would be difficult to tear asunder without major consequences

That would be a “Re-writing Homestuck from the very beginning” level of canon event

And if I’m correct, Joey is theorized by me to be a Mage of Life, if any classpect at their full potential was gonna do something like that, or have the impossible knowledge to something impossibly paradoxical like that, well..

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh

ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then.

ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense

ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail

CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.

ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point

CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan.

CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.

CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.

CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.

CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?

I mean yeah! makes sense! Johns major factor here is Freedom, Vriska’s is Importance

and yeah, I can think of no other wholly dramatic event that to mess with stuff with the Green Sun, everyone will have eyes on that, they have to, their whole existence the way it is relies on it

But, they could also mean something else, its only condition is that it has to be something so imflappably impossible, something so not-canon and so outrageous that it basically horse-shoes around to the other end of the canon spectrum to being something that truly exists again

and that could be literally anything and it’s nerve wracking and exciting to see what thing theyre gonna come up with to just directly kneecap Homestuck itself

ROXY: thx babe

ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or

JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine.

(yeah that’s because Babe can be construed as feminine June)

so, I’m basically convinced they’re doing June Egbert now

that to me was like, pretty severely on the nose

John: Hey Roxy, what it does mean when you find a sense of freedom when all of the symbolism of the masculinity surrounding your childhood burns down around you

Roxy: idk It’s probably a gender thing man

John: I didn’t say the word gender-

Roxy: It’s ok babe no pressure, we can hash it out later

John: Hmm, later then. :)

Roxy: (Turns and looks towards the camera with a knowing smile)

shit all that imagery makes me think of Roxy as that picture of the small kid smirking at the camera while a house burns in the distance XD

[paper-chain-queen]

String Of Fate

Kyo Sohma X FReader

Soulmate Au / Red string that connects you to your soulmate

Words: 1,800+

Well... I enjoy soulmate stuff so I thought I would try and take a whack at it... please forgive me  :p  Also... such an original title, right? XD

.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

You looked down at the red-string wrapped around your pinkie. It felt especially tight today.

Where are you?

"Your staring again.." A voice called out, bringing you out of your thoughts.

"Huh?"

" You're not gonna find them just by staring at it you know." Your friend teased, pushing you playfully, but it almost caused you to fall out of your chair.

"Easy for you to say, you're soul mate just happened to move next door when you were like 5." You pushed right back, you were teasing her, but you were slightly jealous of her luck.

" I was 10!" She corrected you, and then you both burst into giggles, earning small stares from the people in the little cafe.

".... You could always live in our basement." She proposed once you both had quieted down. You had to shake your head; it was nice that she wanted to keep you around, but there was a small part of you that was excited for the new adventure.

It was sad to think that there was a chance you would never see her again. She was a massive part of your life, and now you were moving across the pacific.

You had grown up in a small household with only your parents, no siblings. And they had hardly been around. Growing up in a large, empty house, it was the nanny that you had spent most of your time with, at least she was nice. Father was a busy CEO and Mother... mother was a socialite, known for always stepping out in the most recent designs and appearing at all the most exclusive social events. They weren't soul mates, and they didn't marry out of love. It had been more of a business deal. Mother had wanted to be 'comfortable,' and Father wanted a beautiful wife.

But times had changed, and the business deal had run out.

Mother had refused to stand by anymore while Father had an affair after affair. While you weren't happy about moving, you were slightly impressed that your Mother had finally put her foot down after years of being cheated on. You guessed that after a while, even she got bored with fine jewels.

You had no dreams of fame or riches. You had watched and learned that it didn't lead to happiness.

"You'll be fine. Katie will keep be sure to keep you company." You couldn't help but tease your childhood friend who's face blew up red at the mention of her girlfriend and soul mate. You had seen them together, and while you were happy for her ... it had left you feeling a little lonely and wishing you could find your soul mate already.

All you wanted in this world was to find the one person you were made for.

To love and be loved.

" Hey! Let's go to the park. Maybe the swings are available." She suggested as you left your regular cafe, grabbing her half-finished frappucino from the table.

"Sure, sounds fun." You agreed, feeling nostalgic about the local neighbourhood park you had grown up with, the swings had been where you first met your best friend.

You knew your friend was just trying to make you feel better and have one last good day before you left, but honestly. It all felt so bittersweet. You miss your life, but this was for the best. Your Mother needed to get away and be with her family. It would be for the best, and you did like your grandparents. They were soul mates and very cute together, plus they liked to spoil you.

You and your friend joked around and shared stories while you walked to the park when you had gotten there, the only people some teens were using the basketball court.

Sitting on the swings, swinging back and forth gently, she caught you glancing at your pinkie again.

"Maybe you'll find your soul mate in Japan! Wouldn't that be amazing! So romantic." She again tried to cheer you up, and you gave her a small smile.

" Maybe..." and you looked back down at the small red string on your right pinky. It had always been tight for as long as you could remember, some days it felt like it would rip right off. Where ever they were, they were far away.

" I'll let you know." You played it cool and winked at your friend, but she knew the way you always looked at the string she couldn't see. Waiting. Hoping. She wanted you to find happiness and love just as she had found it with her soul mate.

"I'll miss you." She said as she grabbed your hand and gave it a small squeeze.

"I'll miss you too."

.

.-.-.-.-.-.--.-.-.-.-..

.

The morning sun shined down on Kaibara High school, it was going to be a beautiful day, but an orange-haired teen had a weird feeling his gut, and it had him a bit on edge. Well. More on edge than usual.

Kyo stared out at the window of his homeroom class. Everyone was gossiping about a new transfer student and he couldn't care less.

" A lot of noise over some new kid." He grumbled, annoyed with how loud the class was being.

"Aw Kyon, your no fun. " Uo teased, giving him a cheeky smile.

"Watch it, delinquent!"

He snapped at her, his orange eyes glaring holes into his blonde classmate. She only began to challenge him more, and Tohru had to try and settle them down before the teacher came with the new student.

It was weird for someone to transfer in the middle of second year. A part of Kyo felt bad for the new student as he had transferred in the middle of his first year of high school, and while he would never admit to it. It was scary, especially with all the boy crazy girls at this school.

The door slid open, and the teacher entered holding a clipboard.

"Everyone, take your seats. We have a new student joining us. Please be welcoming. You can come in now." The teacher called, and a few moments later, Kyo felt a small tug from his pinky but watched as the line started to slack.

It was minuscule, but there was a movement from the string. He had been so distracted by the red string wrapped around his pinky that he had missed the new student walking in and introducing herself.

Kyo found himself often glaring at the red string around his pinkie finger. It was just a big joke to him, as if the universe was taunting him. There was 'apparently' supposed to be someone out there for him, someone who he would love and who would love him.

Bullshit.

It was ridiculous. Zodiac members rarely ever had soul mates. It was practically unheard of. It was a shock to the Sohma family when Kyo had asked as a child why he had a tight red string around his finger, and he could never see where it would lead.

When he was first told about it, he was naive and young, excited to meet the person on the other side, but now he knew better. There was no hope for someone like him. He prayed he would never have to meet the person 'the universe' had picked for him. He couldn't imagine what kind of person would want to be with Cat of the Zodiac, the most cursed of his family. Cursed to be an outcast.

Fated to be alone.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

" I'm (L/N) (Y/N), nice to meet you." You smiled at the class and bowed while thanking you're lucky stars that your Mother had been making you practice Japanese intensely since you were a young girl so you could communicate with your grandparents. The class broke out into a sea of comments and questions, you could barely make out what everyone was saying.

"Wah she's so beautiful!"

" She better not look at Prince Yuki."

" Aww! I was hoping we were going to get another hot boy."

" Hey, think she has a boyfriend?"

"Everyone settle down, please." The teacher called out over the noise, but a few people persisted, asking questions.

"Are you a model?"

"Um.. no.. but thank you?" You answered, feeling a little embarrassed as you felt your cheeks warm slightly.

" Where are you from?"

" California."

You were already missing the ocean breeze from your patio and you reminded yourself to google where the closest beach was.

"Hollywood!" A student gushed with excitement.

You laughed and explained that while you didn't live in 'Hollywood,' it was only a few hours away from your old house. With good traffic.

"Do you have any hobbies?"

" I like camping and going on hikes." Your family wasn't much for camping, but your friend's family always let you tag along with them.

Another round of questions came, but the teacher stopped them.

"Go sit next to Sohma Kyo. There's an empty seat beside him." The teacher instructed, and you looked across the classroom to see if you could find 'Kyo.'

There was an empty seat next to a boy with brilliant orange hair and handsome features. You felt your heart skip a beat.

He's so handsome

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Kyo finally looked up, and the new student was walking towards him. The teenager had never seen anyone like her. All the colours seemed brighter, time seemed to slow, but he felt his heart rate speed up. The way her hair flowed behind, the sun shining on her skin, making her glow.

She's... gorgeous...

The new student was taking him in as well, a small, cute blush on her cheeks. Her eyes wandered to his hand, and a little gasp left her parted mouth.

"It's you?" She whispered and his heart felt like it was going to explode. A large smile appeared on her face she lifted her hand to show off the red string around her pinky that only the two connected could see. He didn't want this, anything but this.

No.

He didn't want a soul mate. He couldn't. It wasn't possible. They were never supposed to meet.

It can't be...

The universe really did hate him. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. And he couldn't have her.

She was about to say something, but Kyo was quick to cut her off, standing up in a hurry and taking a step back, making his chair clatter to the ground in his haste.

"NO! Stay the hell away from me!" Kyo screamed at the girl, his words cutting like a knife.

Her eyes widened, and she took a step back, confusion spread from her face, and the other students started calling out at him.

"What is your problem, Kyo?!"

"That's so rude!"

"Poor (L/N)-San."

Kyo looked around at his classmates. They had no idea at what had just happened because they wouldn't be able to see the red string connecting the two, but the girl just stared at him. Her large eyes filled with confusion, which then turned to sadness; he was unable to look away. Fat tears started flowing down her cheeks, and something in Kyo broke.

All he wanted to do was engulf her in a hug. Hold her close. But he couldn't.

Life wasn't fair. At least not to him.

Kyo scoffed at the ground and then went to the window, opening it up and jumping out. Escaping and running away, the red string tightening around his finger like a vice. He left like it could fall off, and he honestly, that would hurt less than the pain in his heart.

It's hopeless.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

[my-arlington-academia]

Hi! I love the way you write! I was wondering if you could make a headcanons of the 10 Sweet Elite characters, on jealousy! But not towards a boy / girl but towards a tender kitten who is our great love, an affectionate cat and who will always find the way to receive all the attention, but not by making spite, but in a more subtle way, with purr, meows and ball eyes! Of course, only us and the others are not even considered XD A kiss!

Awww thank you so much!! 💘💘 It means a lot to me that people like what I write even though it's just silly stuff. Anyway... making the main 10 jealous of a cat? 😂 Alright! I guess I can do that much 👌 (Sorry if this isn't exactly what you had in mind but I made the cat a stray in the hcs.)

Alistair

- honestly he is a dog person but he's not the type to argue which are cuter: dogs or cats?

- but when you met that kitten in the street and your voice suddenly shifted to "baby talk" mode?

- at first he doesn't think much of it but later on, for some reason he starts feeling a bit irritated

- wants to show you his puppies from back home but he knows just how childish his reasoning is

- ends up not only feeling jealous but also pathetic

- starts talking to himself

- "Come on Alistair, why are you feeling jealous of a CAT of all things?? That's so stupid..."

- You notice him figeting on the side looking like a sad doggo

- out of pure impulse, you run your fingers through his hair

- he doesn't really get what's happening but he's happy that your attention shifted back to him

- if he really was a dog, his tail would be wagging right now

- "Y/N? W-what are you doing? Not that I don't like it! But uh..."

- "Sorry, you just looked really cute for a sec haha... Well, I mean you always do but um."

- the both of you get embarrassed and move on from this silly situation

Axel

- a dog person as well but he didn't expect to feel so frustrated over... a cat

- in a matter of seconds, he felt like he had disappeared and he didn't like that

- for once that the both of you were alone he didn't want anyone to get in their way

- feels like he's being an idiot

- you continue petting the cat and when you scratch him under its neck, the little kitten starts purring

- suddenly Axel bends over and points to the space under his chin

- "Scratch me here."

- you're so taken aback by what he said that you actually do it... and he starts purring too??

- it sounds pretty identical to how cats purr

- "See? I can do it just as well as this little guy over there..."

- Axel looks down in shame knowing just how ridiculous he must sound right now

- you kiss him on the cheek to cheer him up

- "Come on, you know that you're my favorite!... and honestly, that purring was surprisingly good."

- "Uh-huh, I should try voice acting for cats or something."

Claire

- starts off gushing over the kitten with you

- but quickly realizes that she became almost invisible to you

- all your affection is now aimed at the cute kitty which makes Claire feel a bit abandoned

- she feels horrible for being envious of a cat, especially since she's also the type of person who loses herself in front of cute animals

- "No sad thoughts allowed! Stop thinking about ridiculous things Claire..."

- tries to cheer herself up

- somehow gathers the courage to snuggle her head against your shoulder

- you ask her what she's doing

- "Oh uh! Y-you know... I'm just imitating the kitten! Isn't it just so adorable when they press their little heads against your legs when they pass by?! S-so cute, right? Haha..."

- has realized how stupid she was being and is sad all over again until you do the same thing as her

- her cheeks heat up and she's super embarrassed

- "I-it would be nice if we were allowed to have pets in the dorms, we could've taken the cat with us..."

- "Adopt it? So we can play parents? What should we name it..."

- "W-wait! We can't actually take it with us! Lady A will be so mad..."

Ellie

- is thrilled to find a cute cat in the street!... until you start playing with it that is

- becomes silent and watches how you're smiling like a dumb-dumb

- finds you cuter than the cat and is a bit sad that she has become a second thought to you

- in an attempt to catch your attention (or more precisely get it back) she bends over and tries to imitate the cat's meowing

- at the same time, she moves her arms as if she has paws instead of human hands

- you try to ask her what she's doing but she only answers in meows

- "Meow meow meow 😥😤 Meoowwww 😖"

- you give up and start talking in "cat language" as well

- "Uhhhh... Meow?"

- at the end of it all the both of you laugh about it and make a plan to somehow find a home for the kitty

Karolina

- tries really hard to act like she doesn't give a damn

- but she's extremely annoyed

- "Oh so a cat is more important than spending time with me, huh?"

- is petty af

- keeps on sighing loudly and has had her arms crossed for a solid minute now

- sees that you're not even noticing how annoyed she is

- starts walking away and makes sure to make each one of her steps really loud so you can hear her

- when you try to stop her she's all like "Oh no it's fine. You can go on ahead and have a cup of tea with this... cat, and while you're at it kiss it under the moonlight why don't you?"

- is red of both anger and embarrassement because she knows just how childish she sounds and she hates it

- like a kid throwing a tantrum

- in the end you convince her to pet the cat as well and she gets charmed quite quickly and forgives you

- even gives it a name and refuses to give the cat to anybody else

Neha

- stares at you with a neutral expression ...or so it seems

- that is the face of BETRAYAL

- she's thinking "Seriously? You're ditching me for a cat?"

- starts asking you questions to see if she can distract you

- "So... you like cats too? I had the impression that you were more of a dog person but I guess I was wrong..."

- tries really hard not to sound passive-agressive

- fails at it.

- "Neha um. Are you like... jealous? Haha! No way, right? Sorry it was a dumb ques-"

- when you see the blush on her face you immediately understand what's going on

- you let go of the kitten and hug her

- "Want me to scratch your head too? Haha..."

- "Oh shut up! Don't make me feel more ridiculous than I already am..."

Raquel

- is super thrilled at first

- "Let's adopt it! I'm sure we can hide it in your room since you don't have a roommate."

- quickly changes her mind on the way back when she sees all the attention you're giving to the kitten

- knows exactly why she feels that way so she tries her best to play it cool, knowing how idiotic it is to be envious of a cat

- "So uh. Y'know, I know I'm the one who said that we should take it with us but now thinking about it, it's honestly kinda dangerous, isn't? I mean I don't want you to get in trouble because of me and all..."

- is rambling and rambling, telling you all the reasons why maybe it is actually a bad idea to "adopt" the cat

- you take the hint pretty easily and agree with her

- but in the end you guys manage to shelter the kitty in your room during a week before finding someone in town who'll take care of it

Tadashi

- loves cats but plays dumb when you first find the kitten in the street

- "Cats? Uh. Yeah. They're cute I guess..."

- really wants to pet the cat after he sees you doing it

- you have to push him a little bit

- "All right! If you insist so much then I guess I'll pet it..."

- (side note: you didn't insist at all 😂)

- has a small smile on his face, he's trying to conceal his happiness even though he really doesn't have to

- after a while though, he starts feeling frustrated when he sees that you get along with the kitten better than he does

- but at first, he thinks that he's jealous of you, not the cat

- however it's the other way around

- he tries to catch the cat's attention to get it away from you

- He's shyly making cat sounds

- "N-nyaaa..."

- "What are you doing?"

- "Uh... that's the onomatopoeia for the sounds cats make in Japanese..."

- "Haha! So you're meowing in Japanese? 😂"

- "So what if I AM?!?"

Tegan

- likes animals but he often sees them through a screen rather than in real life

- he's honestly a little bit scared of getting scratched so he stays on the side at first

- but when he sees you having so much fun he gets envious and gets closer, trying to play with the cat

- he's not really successful...

- "Looks like it doesn't like me. I only get along with the villagers in Animal Blessing..."

- is so sad that not only have you been snatched away by the cute kitty, but also he can't join in on the fun

- you trick him into meowing for the cat because apparently "it will feel at ease if it hears you make the same sound as them"

- "Wait, really? You're pulling my leg, aren't you?"

- "Nope. Seriously, you can moogle it."

- "Whenever you bring up Moogle it means that you're lying because you don't have any solid proof..."

- does it anyway

- is super embarrassed when you start laughing because he got tricked so easily

- curses himself for being so gullible

Tyler

- loves animals, but mostly loves how funny they can be under the right circumstances

- pulls out his phone camera to film you playing with the cat

- "A really cute kitten and a really adorable human being side by side, this will definitely gather a lot of views on ViewTube!"

- he's being silly again while flirting with you, that's the part you like about him though

- he gives commentary on every single thing the cat does

- "Oh my GOD! Look at its paws!!! LOOK AT ITS PAWS!! WOOOOOW! That is spectacuLAR LaDiES AnD gEnTLeMeN!!"

- is talking with a nonexistent crowd

- but when he's done filming you keep on playing with it and Tyler feels a bit forgotten

- hugs you gently from behind then SQUEEZES you really hard

- "Tylerr... I can't breath... Hhhhhhhh."

- "Really? Good! You shouldn't ditch me for a cat Y/N! Howww daaare youuuu..."

- is joking about it but he's genuinely a bit jealous

[thdorkmagnet]

How Far Would You Go For Love? Part 1

Hey everyone!! Today I got something different for you all. Not Star vs for once. That’s write, I branched out a little and wrote for another series I’m really into. My Hero Academia. I’ve been in love with this show for years and decided it would be fun to actually make something for this fun and entertaining show. So here I am! This story is gonna be for my fav ship in the show: Uraraka x Deku (I don’t know what the ship name is oops ^^;). I love these two dorks and their chemistry and I had to try my hand at writing them! This story is also in first person so I really am stepping out of my comfort zone for this one haha XD I really hope you enjoy! I had a lot of fun with it and I’m pretty proud of the results!! 

I shivered violently as the crisp, cold air sting my face and hands, any semblance of bare skin felt like it was being jabbed with a thousand sharp needles. I scooted closer into the warm body beside me, ignoring any feelings I had in favor of staying warm. I tried to ignore the way the form shifted awkwardly towards me, possibly trying to provide some sense of comfort, either for me or him or both. Thanks to the harsh wind in my ears and loud-pulsing heartbeat I barely heard Deku whisper to me, “It’ll be okay, Uraraka. We’ll find a way out of this.” I knew he was trying to make me feel better, to comfort me in my moment of terror but... well...

Comfort was hard to find when you were a hostage.

At the mental reminder of my situation I licked my lips and shifted uncomfortably, trying to ignore the coarse ropes rubbing up against my wrists or the sharp pain from the movement. My wrists had already been rubbed raw from my pointless struggling, my determination to escape stronger than the pain. 

Of course with every moment I became less and less sure escape was an option. 

 I'm sure Deku didn't feel that way but as always I was well aware just how big a gap there was between us. Deku was a born hero, he saved people without hesitation, and when I was with him I always felt like I could do anything. It’s why I looked up to him and wanted to be by his side. It’s why I strived to be as good a hero as he was someday.

... And it’s the reason I had fallen in love with him.

For a long time I had denied my true feelings for him, justifying them in my own mind to avoid having to face reality, telling myself I just thought he was cool and someone I admired and wanted to be like. But now, faced with the possibility of death or worse, helpless and alone in the hands of a psychotic villain, I no longer had the strength to fight it. If I denied my feelings for him anymore then I might die never coming to terms with them, to let that empty, gaping hole in my heart remain until the end. Because the truth was I had no idea how this all would end. Sure, I knew UA and the other heroes would do everything in their power to save us but-

No, no I can't think like that!I shook my head back and forth to try and rid it of the nasty, taunting thoughts. This isn't the end, it can't be. If I give up then this villain wins. I forced my brain to think straight, to be like Deku, and I took a moment to examine the situation at hand like he would. We were on the roof of some large building, probably abandoned, and although I hadn't gotten a good look over the side, judging by the amount of wind I was being constantly assaulted by we had to be at least 20 stories high. I shivered involuntarily again but forced my brain not to panic. 

Instead I tried to remember how we had ended up in this mess, hoping it would offer me a clue out of it.

 When Deku had first come to me with two special tickets to the grand opening of the All Might museum he had been beyond excited. I had seen him turn into the fanboy I knew and loved before but this was on a whole different level! He seemed almost over the moon at this. He was practically squealing when he told me in his typical Deku ramble how he had spent the previous night sending in what must have been hundreds of contest entries asking basic questions about All Might’s career and judging by the bags under his eyes he most likely hadn’t slept all night because of it. But all that work must have played off cause he was declared the winner.

And then he offered me the second ticket and I thought I might die right there on the spot. While the museum itself sounded cool and everything, it almost felt like Deku was asking me out on a date! Something I had dreamed would happen for months now. It took every ounce of strength I had not to turn into a blushing, flustered mess at the very idea of such a thing.  I tried not to get my hopes too high and overthink it, but I couldn't help but ask why he picked me out of our whole class, considering anyone would be thrilled to go to a place dedicated to our awesome teacher.

He had grown slightly embarrassed by my question and I could still remember the adorable shade of pink on his cheeks as he explained that I was one of the only people who didn't judge him for his fanboy love of heroes. I tried to tell him nobody cared except maybe Bakugo but  before I got the chance Deku had nervously muttered something along the lines of “It’s different with you. I can be myself around you.”  And if my heart was any fuller in that moment it probably would have exploded.

We both decided to keep our 'date' a secret, Deku worried about upsetting the others for not inviting them, while I was more concerned about the girls finding out. I loved them but they were born gossipers, especially Ashido. The last thing I wanted was the whole school finding out that me and Deku were going on a date. Especially since I don't think Deku meant it to be one.

That still didn't stop me from spending a good two hours picking out the perfect outfit though, while trying to ignore my jittery nerves. I kept telling myself that this wasn't a date. That this was just a get together between two friends, nothing more. But convincing my racing heart of this seemed to be an impossible task. All my hard work paid off in the end when Deku spotted me, blushing and muttering under his breath something about ‘me looking really nice’ and how ‘he wished he had changed out of his All Might t-shirt' but I quickly assured him he looked fine and considering where we were headed, would fit right in.

What happened next I remembered all too well. As if I was reliving the same horrible events all over again. 

I can’t believe how lucky I am! Here I am, next to my favorite person in the world, walking side by side with him on a date! Well not technically a date but still it was close enough for me. I can’t stop smiling I’m so happy! Or wait, am I smiling too much? Is Deku gonna think I’m weird cause of how much I’m smiling? I glanced over at my friend, only to find he was too distracted to notice my weird smiling. He was talking to himself or maybe to me, it was hard to tell sometimes, going on and on about something. Probably All Might related if I had to guess. His eyes usually only gleamed like that when talking about his hero. Even if I couldn’t always follow along, I loved listening to how passionate he was about stuff like this and it was hard not to get excited with him, his enthusiasm was contagious.

As I listened to Deku’s adorable rambles, I gave a quick glace up at the towering building coated in All Might’s signature colors of red, white, and blue, his name displayed above the front entrance in bright, flashy letters. 

“Hey look, Deku,” I said excitedly to him. “I think that’s the place up ahead.” I pointed it out to him and his green eyes seemed to be filled with starlight. His whole face was practically glowing, he looked like a kid at Christmas, then again for him this probably was like a second Christmas for him. Before I knew it I was smiling like an idiot right alongside him. Date or not, I was just so happy to be here with him. Today was gonna be great because I was gonna get to hang out with the coolest guy I knew. Without realizing it, my hand reached out for his and to my even greater shock and surprise he actually held it back! I felt my cheeks heating up in a blush while my heart was busy pounding away a mile a minute. I was floating on cloud nine! Nothing my quirk could do could possibly make me feel more like this, like I was walking on air, only Deku had that power over me and I loved it. 

Just before the two of us could enter into the museum, however, a sudden scream reached our ears. The voice was muted and distorted from distance but there was no denying the call for help, nor the fear in the man’s voice. One quick glance at Deku and I knew we were both on the same wavelength, our thoughts for a moment one. Of course, Deku being Deku, he ran into the alley without a second thought, but I was proud to be right on his heels, ready to prove myself as worthy heroes in training and maybe even Deku’s equal. 

We immediately came across the victim, a man crouched on the ground, clutching his chest as if he was in some kind of pain. My lessons kicked in as I did my best to survey the situation: the man was alone so it didn’t seem to be a villain attack, from what I could see he wasn’t bleeding out or in any critical state, although that could be shielded by his arm. I watched as Deku knelt next to him, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder, asking the standard questions: ‘If he was alright?’, ‘What we could do to help?’, that kind of thing. But for some reason I felt an uneasy twist in my gut. Something wasn’t quite… right. 

Instead of answering his concerned questions, the man simply asked Deku if we were heroes. Something about the tone of his voice set me off, there was no sincerity there, only an underlying malice. But before I could voice these concerns, though, Deku had already replied with a cheerful smile. "Actually we're UA students."

The man smiled and I heard him whisper something dark under his breath, before his hands lashed out and grabbed onto Deku’s arm. 

I saw the look of confusion on Deku’s face before he realized the danger and started to pull away, lifting his leg to kick. The man, however, simply twisted Deku’s body around, holding his arm tightly against his back, the awkward angle looking incredibly painful. I watched as my friend squirmed and screamed in pain, demanding the villain release him. But the look in his eyes was what caught me off guard the most, they looked distinct and half-lidded as if he was struggling to stay conscious. 

“Let him go!” Wasting no more time, I threw myself into the battle, too, determined to free my friend from this villain’s wrath. Whatever he was doing to Deku, I needed to stop it now! I tried to touch him with my fingers, hoping to make him float so taking him out would be easier but he moved out of the way much quicker than I was expecting. He threw poor Deku to the side like he was a worthless ragdoll and for whatever reason, my crush was unable to catch himself as he landed hard on the paved ground, his head no doubt taking quite a bit of the fall, the impact making me cringe. I couldn’t help myself, my concern for my complain greater than my hero training as I turned and shouted, “Deku!” 

And that was the only opening the villain needed as he latched on strongly to my arm. 

The instant he did I felt my head grow fuzzy and everything began spinning in a nauseating circle. I was used to this feeling, thanks to my quirk, and did my best to try and pull away, but his grip was like a vice. Everything started to blur in a flash of colors and noises. I heard Deku scream my name, followed by a grunt, though I couldn’t tell if it was from him or the villain.

I knew we were running out of time to act, so I forced my brain to remember my training as I attempted a move to dislodge his hand from my arm, but thanks to my functionless mind, my movements were too sluggish and slow. I didn’t even have time to react as the man grabbed me by the hair and slammed me hard into the cement ground. My vision began to go black but just before the world faded away, I could hear Deku’s panic-filled scream call out to me, his voice slurred as he began to lose consciousness just like me.

And then there was nothing.

When I finally came to, I had a massive headache unlike anything I had ever felt before. My brain felt like it was on fire and I groaned in agony. I risked opening my eyes only to discover my uncomfortable position as this villain's hostage. I had lost track of how much time had passed since then but my guess was that it had been close to an hour or two.

I let out a slow breath to calm my racing heartbeat. I had to find a way to escape. I just had to! Before- before... well I didn't want to think about that. I had to focus on getting away at any cost. But I was unsure what to even do,I had already exhausted all the other escape attempts I could think of, the few that came to mind. Maybe Deku had an idea?

He probably did but it wasn't safe to ask him, not with the villain pacing back and forth in front of us. I looked over to said villain and noticed he wasn't paying either of us any mind. Which was nothing new, ever since we got here, this unknown villain hadn't shut up about his plans. He had rambled on and on about his goals, about how he would make the heroes pay, how it was thanks to heroes his life was ruined. I had nearly let out a sigh of annoyance the moment he started up his cliche monologue but caught myself at the last second. It felt like every villain I encountered had the same flawed view of hero society. They all wanted to see it destroyed and replaced with their own messed up world. Didn't these guys have anything better to do?

 Now though, he just looked agitated, wringing his hands together nervously as he continued his incessant pacing. I could hear him mumbling something under his breath. It was clear he was becoming unstable. And that boded poorly for me and Deku. I had suspected this person was suffering from some sort of mental illness (after all what sane person would kidnap two high schoolers) and it seemed my suspicions were confirmed. 

What terrified me is what he would do when the little sanity he had left snapped? What would become of me and Deku when he got bored of us? 

The thought turned my blood to ice and I fought back the growing tears of defeat. If this was the end for me and Deku then... 

I cast a longing look at my crush, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth set in a flat line. There were a few new bruises on his body and I guessed he hadn’t be taken so easily like I had. He looked so unlike the Deku I knew, the one who I had seen not a few hours ago, giddy and full-of-life, and I could feel the tears nearly spilling over just looking at him. This whole ordeal must be affecting him terribly, too. I didn’t want to do this, not here and certainly not now, but I doubted I'd have another chance, so I drew in a shaky breath to try and steady my frayed nerves, gathering what little strength I had left to muster.

"Deku," I squeaked and instantly regretted that decision. Gosh my voice sounded awful, like I had been gargling nails and hadn't spoken in a year. Not to mention the noticeable shake in my tone even though I had tried so hard to fight it. 

It was no surprise then that Deku whipped his head around to face me, his eyes wide and full of concern (most likely for me). When our eyes met though, I felt a small bit of warmth settle inside my cold, tired body. It wasn't enough to completely halt the despair I felt creeping into my mind but it helped to give me a little strength and hope to fight that overwhelming feeling back.

I tried to summon the courage to tell my crush my true feelings, to ignore the darkness and terror we were trapped in and create a small moment of light and love to cling to. But what I wasn't expecting was for Deku to smile at me.

He actually smiled! And I knew that smile better than anyone, I had seen it enough times to know what it meant. He was trying to provide me comfort. In this dark, hopeless situation, Deku still had the courage to smile. It was forced and shaky, his eyes full of fear and the corners of his mouth quivered with the effort of holding it together but it was there! And I was once again reminded of the true strength my friend had and by proxy how little I had in comparison. Before I had a chance to speak he whispered in a shaky but determined tone, "Don't worry, Uraraka. I promise we'll get out of here. I won't let this be the end. I swear."

I had no words with which to reply with but I could feel the tears threatening to spill over. Without thinking I buried my head in the front of his jacket and sobbed. I knew how weak it made me look, that a hero shouldn't behave this way but I couldn't help it. Deku didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve me. Even though he was scared and worried, he still had the strength to try and help me. He was a true hero and it scared me to think that he might not live to prove that to everyone.

Deku didn't say anything to me while I sobbed brokenly. He just let me work it all out of my system. He didn't even fuss over the fact I was completely drenching his limited edition All might hoodie. Instead he just leaned his head on top of my own, the only comfort he could offer with his hands tied uselessly behind him. The gesture only made me sob harder. Because gosh he was too good for me! 

I probably could have stayed like that forever curled up on Deku’s chest, if my loud bawling hadn't unfortunately attracted the attention of our unnamed captor. "Hey shut up you damn brat, before I make you!" He hissed at me, the venom in his tone enough to make me choke on my tears, trying feebly to stop their flow. 

While I was busy with that, Deku shot the man a glare and I felt him curl around me even more in a protective manner. He looked like he wanted to say something but he held his tongue, his attention shifting back to me as he began muttering meaningless phrases in an attempt to comfort me. It took a bit of effort but I finally managed to quiet my sobbing till it was nothing more than small whimpers. 

This seemed to quell the villain (for now) as he went back to muttering to himself and I tried to take this as a small relief. I blinked a few times to clear them of tears and felt shame at the sight of my friends tear-stained hoodie, the whole front of which was soaked in my tears. Deku’s stare was burning into my skin but I kept my head lowered. I couldn't face him after my breakdown. What would he think of me? Here he was being brave and heroic while I broke down over the littlest of things. 

Before the tears could start up again I forced myself to meet Deku’s eye, my heart pounding painfully in my chest. As expected, his look was one of pained sympathy and my cheeks felt like fire from the blush that spread over my face in an instant. I was the first to break eye contact, staring sheepishly at the floor. "Sorry," I whispered, trying to resist the temptation to hide in Deku’s hoodie again. 

"Don't be," he replied with a small shake of his head. "I know this a lot to deal with. I don't blame you for crying." He tried to crack a smile, joking awkwardly, "Beside you've seen me cry plenty of times before."

It was true. I had seen Deku cry more times than I could count but I never saw that as a weakness. When he cried I knew he was just overcome with emotion and was expressing it freely. I respected that. That he wasn't afraid to express himself. So why was it, I felt so ashamed of doing it myself? It just made me feel weak. Like the barrier between him and me had become even wider. I didn't want him to comfort me, I wanted to be strong enough to protect him.

"How are you so calm right now?" I wondered aloud. 

Deku shrugged. "I'm not gonna lie, I'm scared. Really scared," he admitted honestly. A shaky breath before he continued. "But... I have to keep smiling. I have to believe we’ll be okay. That the other heroes will save us. Cause that's what All Might would do. He'd stay strong no matter how bad the odds are."

I couldn't help but admire Deku for a moment. He really was amazing. And if he could keep believing, then I had to do the same. No matter how bad things got. 

Both me and Deku jumped when our captor let out a loud, guttural howl. It sounded inhuman, filled with malice and insane energy. The sound alone was startling enough but the fact that it had happened seemingly at random put me on edge. Whatever sanity the villain had seemed to have finally shattered as he began loudly talking to himself, getting more and more agitated by the second. "They aren't coming. Why aren’t the heroes coming? They should be here. Maybe they forgot. No, no they couldn't have. They must not think I'm a threat. But I am! I need to show them, I-I need to... give them a reason to come. Yes that's it." 

With that the man slowly turned towards us with a long, creepy expression stretched across his face. The little comfort me and Deku’s conversation had brought me was shattered in an instant when I saw the look in the villain’s eyes. Those were the eyes of a corned animal. The eyes of a beast pushed to its breaking point. There was danger in them and I knew at once things were about to take a very, very bad turn. 

For a few tense seconds we just stared each other down, captor and captives waging a mental battle and I had no clue who was winning or losing. The air was so thick with dread I could almost feel it with each breath I took. There was no sound, only silence, but that seemed to have mesmerized the villain, like he was waiting for it to break. And I feared what would happen when that pin dropped and that silence was shattered. 

Then, with no warning, the moment was broken, the villain moving towards us in a flash, a crazed look still in his eye. I flinched instinctively, closing my eyes and waiting for the pain to start. There was no doubt in my mind I would be the target of his rage since I had been the biggest nuisance to him. He would be quick to dispose of me. 

But to my surprise it was Deku who cried out and my eyes snapped open in shock. The villain had a tight grip on Deku’s hair, his fingers laced painfully in his green curls, while the other hand fumbled to undo the knots around Deku’s wrists. But being Deku, he put up a resistance, squirming and making the job difficult for our unknown assailant. Meanwhile, I was forced to watch powerlessly with my own arms bonded uselessly behind my back. I shouted to the villain and kicked my feet but it did nothing to deter him. 

The villain growled in frustration, giving Deku a wild shake that made my stomach twist into knots. He leaned down to hiss in his ear, but I was able to make out the chilling words, "Stop fighting or the girl takes your place instead." 

I watched with horror as Deku calmed his resistance, allowing the man to finish his work still glaring daggers the whole time. No, no this was all my fault. I was being used against him! Deku, the one I loved was about to die to save me. This horrible villain had just twisted my sweet Deku’s heroic nature into something wrong and despicable. 

The villain eventually loosened the ropes enough that Deku was no longer pinned in place, but his hands were still tied tightly behind him, keeping him weak and helpless. I thought I might puke as I watched the man drag my friend away by his hair. By his freaking hair! I could hear the roots tearing but Deku, to his credit, suppressed any screams through gritted teeth. 

I continued to scream and thrash in my bounds, desperate to help my friend, to save the boy I loved from this nightmare. I could feel hot, sticky blood dripping from my wrists, every movement painful from where I had rubbed the skin raw struggling but still I fought. I refused to give up. Not until Deku was safe. "Let him go! Leave him alone!"

Deku didn't give up either, determination hidden behind the fog in his eyes as his body glowed green. I recognized the power of his quirk immediately, the air itself filled with electricity as he swung a leg towards the villain in his signature shoot style and I sucked in a breath, daring to hope this terror might finally end.

But Deku’s reflexes had been dulled thanks to whatever this villain's quirk was and his movement’s sloppy and formless, at least compared to the lightning fast attacks I was used to seeing from him. Our capture was able to easily snatch Deku’s leg before it made contact with his face, a new look of dark fury flashing in the man's crazed eyes. 

And then he began to twist Dekus ankle, my crush struggling to hold back his pained whimpers. He moved slowly, so slowly, and oh gosh I don’t think legs can bend that way! I was gonna be sick, I wanted to look away but it was as if I was under a spell, mesmerized by the horrible display, while my brain and mouth begged and screaming for it to end. But he just kept twisting,

 ...and twisting,

 ......and twisting,

Until...

Snap!

Deku’s blood curdling scream burned itself into my subconscious and I watched with teary eyed vision as my friend writhed on the ground, his foot twisted at an awkward angle, already red and swelling. My heart ached inside my chest. It hurt so damn much to see my crush and best friend hurting so much, while I was powerless to help him. I felt sick, my stomach in knots and my blood cold. Without realizing, I had stopped struggling, I lacked the strength to even raise my arms. It felt like my heart had just shattered along with the bones in Deku’s leg.

And then, while the two of us writhed in our own agony, the villain started to laugh. Actually laughed! 

And I saw red.

I was not an angry person, far from it, but that laugh, that sinisterly gleeful chuckle, made me feel for the first time ever true unyielding rage. And it scared me.

My struggles renewed stronger than ever, I didn't care if I ripped my arms off! I was stopping this! For a second I had a flicker of a thought, wondering if this was how Bakugo felt all the time.

As I fought valiantly against my bonds I watched as the villain slowly pulled open his coat and a glint of silver metal caught my eye. 

My heart froze and I could see from the corner of my eye the fear in Deku’s eyes as the gun was pulled free from its holster. The man seemed amused by our fear, a cruel, wicked smile splitting open his lips revealing a layer of crooked teeth. The villain soaked in the power he held, taking his dear sweet time as he cocked the deadly weapon. 

The click caused tremors through my body, the realization that all of this was actually happening hit me hard. There was a real weapon before me and right now it was loaded and ready to kill. 

The barrel was soon aimed and level with Deku’s head and despite how brave and strong he was I heard a tiny whimper escape his throat.

And I lost all sense of self control.

I pulled violently against the thick ropes, blocking out the pain completely as I twisted my arms as much as I could in any attempt to get free. I didn't have time to waste, in a matter of seconds Deku would be dead. Finally I heard a loud snap behind me and I had no idea if that was the ropes or my wrists themselves, all I knew was that I was free.

 I scrambled to my feet, running at the villain as fast as my sore legs could carry me. I didn't hesitate, I didn't think, I was reacting on protective instincts right now, my only goal to keep Deku alive. I slammed hard into the man's back, jabbing my elbow into the center of his spine, just like I had been taught. I knew this wouldn't be enough to knock him down, his stature was much greater than mine, so I reached out for the gun hand, my fingers just barely managing to brush skin, but that was enough for my quirk to do the job. 

The shift in weight was enough to knock us both off our feet. On the way down I heard a loud bang next to my ear, causing it to ring loudly. The ground was much harder than I expected, my body skidding painfully across the rough terrain. I could feel skin being scraped off, the pain sending jolts to my stunned brain. When I came to a stop my whole body was radiating pain, I could feel every gash and bleeding cut as they throbbed in agony. 

 But I quickly shoved all of this to the side, focusing my attention back on my hurt friend. Deku looked shaken up, his leg still twisted at an unnatural angle but other than that was no worse for wear. I could see a tiny indention in the ground next to his head and realized the bullet must have missed him by mere inches. 

But at least it did miss.

Deku’s eyes were wide in what I could only assume was shock and fear, his gaze locked on me and me alone. I had never been happier to see those green irises in my life, the relief that he was still alive and breathing far greater than anything my battered body could complain about. Deku was still alive, that was all that mattered. 

He was safe and I could rest.

 But just before I could collapse and sleep for a hundred years, I heard a familiar voice yell to me, the tone dark, twisted, and most of all angry. "You bitch!" 

I glanced up to see a new terrible sight. The villain was still alive and he had his gun. Thanks to my quirk he was currently suspended in the air, his body doing slow turns. I must have hit him harder than I thought because he was dangling over the side of the building, a long, deadly drop waiting just below his feet. 

The look in his eyes... that was the look of a killer and I knew at once I had made a terrible mistake. 

"You're gonna regret that," he hissed at me, venom dripping from every syllable. He once more raised the gun and I flinched, expecting to be staring down the loaded barrel. But instead, he pointed the gun at Deku and fear clenched my chest. 

"I'm gonna make you hurt," the monster said, grinning at my pain. He knew where I was vulnerable, we both could see it and one of us was too late. 

I tried to stand, maybe I could shield Deku or push him out of the way somehow but my body refused. It was failing me at the worst possible second. 

I saw the terror in Deku’s eyes as they jumped from the gun to me and then back to the gun. 

"Your boyfriend is dead, ya hear me!"

My brain scrambled for an idea, searching tirelessly through my limited options for some way out of this mess.

But I didn't have one.

Nothing would work.

It was over.

My heart squeezed painfully in my chest as Deku tried to reason with the villain, trying to delay his death. "Please, you don't wanna do this."

I saw the man's finger slowly pressing against the trigger and I knew I was out of time.

Out of options.

Only one thing would save Deku now.

My hands moved on their own, my fingers pressing together as a strangled cry escaped my throat. "Release!"

And then the villain vanished.

Disappearing over the side of the building.

His echoed screams reached my ears, every second growing softer.

Softer.

Softer...

And then they just stopped.

The abrupt silence caught me off guard. After the rush of terror and adrenaline that had been so present a moment ago, the peaceful atmosphere that remained felt strangely out of place. A cool breeze tickled my sweaty face, blowing my hair and ripped clothes all over the place. 

Was it really over?

It had all happened so fast that my brain took a moment to process it all. All I could do was stare at the spot the villain had just been, before he -before I-

My hands flew to my mouth as I choked back a sob.

No.

No I didn't.

I-I couldn't have.

That was impossible.

But I had.

I had just killed someone. 

A feeling of guilt unlike anything I ever felt before hit me at once as the reality of my situation sunk in. I had just broken one of the only rules a hero had to follow. I was a murderer. My breaths had become shuddery and shaky as I fought back the tears that threatened to spill.

In a desperate attempt for comfort I looked to Deku, hoping he could somehow make this whole, nightmarish situation better. But the face I was greeted with was anything but soothing. Deku was staring at me with wide, pained eyes, his body tense as he regarded me and he flinched when I turned his way. Almost like he was afraid of me. The normally bright green of his eyes that I loved to look into had darkened greatly. I could see the judgement in his eyes, I could feel the disappointment from where I was. Deku saw me for what I had become, a killer, someone unworthy of being a hero. Someone unworthy of Deku.

I felt sick, bile rising at the back of my throat and I whimpered struggling to hold it back. But I could no longer fight off the tears, Deku's dark expression had been my breaking point. The tears flowed freely down my cheeks, burning my skin. 

I sobbed pitifully, burying my face in my hands as pain and guilt racked my body. How could I do that? How would I ever be able to face my classmates again after what I had done? How could I call myself a hero? 

 Warm arms wrapped around my torso and I tensed in surprise, looking over with tear-stained vision to see Deku. Deku was hugging me. I had wanted that for so, so long and now I couldn't even enjoy it. I didn't deserve to enjoy it. His eyes were full of sympathy and I could see tears forming in his own vision, but that just made the pain worse.

I didn't deserve to be forgiven. Not by him, someone who was already a greater hero than I could ever hope to be.

"Its okay, Uraraka," he whispered, tightening his hold as my sobs only grew. "It's not your fault, it'll be alright."

Not my fault? Was he blind? No. Leave it to Deku to sugar coat reality, to see the light in the endless darkness. He somehow didn't believe it was my fault when it so clearly was. 

"I'm so sorry," he muttered and I felt something wet drip on my shoulder. 

He was apologizing. Why? I was the one who killed that guy. This was my fault, not his. 

I couldn't stop crying, no matter how much I tried to silence my pitiful sobbing, I couldn't. My body and mind had taken all it could handle and it needed to feel no matter how much I wanted to suppress this. 

I couldn't escape this. This feeling was my burden to bear now.

The cold wind swept over my body, chilling me to the bone. For a long time, I just sat there, weeping in Deku’s arms as he spoke soft words of comfort to me, holding me as if I might break. As if I deserved forgiveness. But I didn't. I had saved Deku from death but at the cost of my own morals. 

And the part that scared me the most was that I didn't regret it.

Despite the heaviness on my heart and soul, the guilt that was seeking to crush me and pull me under, at the end of the day it didn't matter. Deku was alive. He was safe. 

And nothing else mattered but that.

Part 2 coming... whenever I can finish it ^^;

[momtaku]

With leaks out I’m eager to move the conversation away from fandom woes and back to the story, but before I do that I wanted to thank everyone for their messages. I received quite a few in the last 24 hours that I want to acknowledge but to spare everyone’s dashes I’ll answer them together below the cut. If you sent me an  anon in the last day or so, please click the read more.

It’s rare for me to respond to an anon like that. When I do it, it’s usually because it hits on something I’m feeling. In this case it was frustration at my inability to reach across the fandom fence to those who see the story differently. I want to assure everyone that the hate anons themselves don’t bother me. When I reply to one it’s usually because it’s a leaping off point for something else that’s been on my mind. 

So thanks for putting up with it. I don’t necessarily need the support because I know it’s always there, but it’s nice seeing it.

June 3rd 2020 It's hilarious how these pathetic haters don't even dare to come off anon because they already know they'll be roasted 😂

Honestly? I always feel sort of icky after I roast someone. A dear friend once told me that I needed to measure how hard I throw my stones and I’ve never forgotten that. This is my blog so I control the conversations. I’m potentially broadcasting those conversations to thousands of people. I’m in the power position here. Bullies are cowards so standing up to them in any form usually sends them running. I want them to leave me alone, true, but I also don’t want to needlessly aggravate whatever underlying condition is fueling their rage. It’s a hard thing to balance. I know it’s entertaining to watch an anon get roasted, and I’m not above that I guess, but a measure of guilt sets in after I do. 

June 3rd 2020, 9:03:55 You still allow and participate in bullying those that support Eren’s genocide and baby daddy-ness, and the other dark themes.

Rolls eyes. I write a sensible and respectful reply and this is what I get back? Classy.  

June 3rd 2020 Some of these anons defending Eren/yeagerists/genocide don't even look like real and proper Eren fans, since even a fan can be objective about it (no offense). It has me facepalming, since I'm an Eren fan myself (tied with Armin for favorite), but this can make us look bad. Genocide will never be justifiable, and while I don't think he's really going for that, I do know Isayama promised he'd be more "self-focused" compared to Armin's more "globalism" mindset, and it's been showing in other ways. In fact, I'm actually rooting for Armin and co (but especially Armin in particular, though) to stop Eren somehow, even if I do also want them to somehow save him.

I think it must be hard to be an Eren fan right now since the Eren fandom is so diverse and polarized. There are Eren fans who see him as a hero and support his genocide plan, there are new Eren fans who only became interested in him once he became villain, there are fans who've always loved Eren but are now heartbroken by his behavior, and then there are Eren fans who believe his plan doesn’t include genocide at all. There’s very little commonality among those groups except they all love Eren and they are all “proper fans.” 

I hear your frustration though. Every fandom has fringe groups who make the most noise and are an embarrassment to the rest of the community. I think that’s the case here

June 3rd 2020 You’re literally participating in the bullying of a Youtuber who made the “106 reasons to ship Eren and Historia.” You’re friends with bullies as well. You’re disrespectful and disgusting.

Please define bullying for me because if privately disagreeing with something  on my private twitter is bullying then I think we’re all in trouble. Are you a bully for calling me “disrespectful and disgusting” or is that allowed? 🤔 

Regarding the actual tweet, I responded to the statement that Eren should be with Historia because she looks like both his and Zeke’s mothers by calling it warped logic. Not my finest moment perhaps but that statement made my skin crawl.

June 3rd 2020, 9:24:36 pm Lol, wait. Are people actually mad at you for giving your opinions on a fictional story? Man, some people are really fickle. I hate Levi and think he's actually pretty boring, since he only has one emotion and is basically infallible, and that's just my opinion, but people in this fandom have legit told me to kill myself ... for not liking their fictional prince. People need to calm down. XD

Shocking, I know 😂 

I guess i should be happy that while I get plenty of hate anons, I haven’t received any I would consider a death threat and only a tiny handful that have felt truly threatening.

June 3rd 2020 So hi i just want you to know that i've been following you for a long while, i don't always agree with your opinions and analysis and i know i don't have to. But i respect it and i enjoy reading it anyway because it's part of the fandom experience for me, you know? If everyone have the same opinions it'd be boring. In fact my fave is Eren and i understand if you feel disappointed towards him, it's totally valid. I don't really care as long as no one's going around cursing him for no reason.

^^Fandom done right! Thank you for this ❤️ 

June 4th 2020 That anon who called you a "fanpol" clearly has no idea of what the word means. You're one of the most nuanced and respectful people I know in this fandom and you never really forced your opinions on others, so these anons are trying REALLY hard to find something to get offended. Nonetheless, I'm glad I found your blog, you have one of the best meta I've seen in this fandom. Have a nice day!

I had to google “fanpol” when I got this message because I wasn’t entirely sure what they meant. I know I don’t do things like attack, repress or censor others, but I also know that there is plenty of legitimate frustration over blogs that are viewed as influential, and especially for meta blogs.  Meta writers can be mistaken as authorities. People who feel differently can feel isolated and marginalized by that. Because of my length of time in the fandom and my way of speaking, I am aware that my words have weight and can influence fandom ideas. I understand how that’s a problem for some people. This is one of those things I’ve done soul searching on but I’ve come up blank as to what to do about it.  But thank you for this anon. This was a lovely message to wake up with.  I hope your day is amazing as well 

[agentstarkbarnes]

Amortentia. (Jules x Steve)

Summary: Julia Johnson and Steve Rogers are in their sixth year at Hogwarts.One day at potions, they brew amortentia and she realises she liked the quiet Hufflepuff boy all along.

Pairing(the regular xD): Julia x Steve, Tasha Sen x  Bucky Barnes

A/N: This is an AU where the avengers attend Hogwarts in the golden trio era.

Julia was walking, holding hands with her boyfriend Hugh. It was time for dinner and she was walking in through the great hall with Hugh, talking about the stars and what fascinated her. Hugh couldn’t be less interested. All he said was “Uh..mhmm”, “Cool” and “Kay”. “See you later, Hugh” she sighed to which he just nodded, watching her settle at the Ravenclaw table.

“Tough day, sweetie?” Tasha looked at her friend sadly. “It’s Hugh, he’s not that sweet guy anymore” Julia sighed as she picked up an apple. “You deserve better, Jules..do what you gotta do, okay?” she gave her an encouraging smile. Julia knew what exactly to do. Tasha and she talked about how toxic and controlling Hugh was, and Julia herself said that she felt about breaking up with him a lot of times, but couldn’t bring herself to do it. Tasha then distracted her by joking and they had dinner together.

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Not far away, in the Hufflepuff table were Steve and Bucky. Steve was clutching his drawing notebook, looking at Julia. “What in the world is wrong with Hugh?” he said in an annoyed tone. 

“Wassup buddy?” Bucky stopped admiring his broom and looked at his friend. 

“Julia looked adorable, talking and pointing at the stars. Why can’t he see that?” Steve sighed. 

“You gotta tell that to her face, or else you’ll never know if she likes you back” Bucky chuckled and admired his broom again.

“I’ve known her for years, and she sees me as a friend and nothing more. She might not like me, Buck” Steve sighed.

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After dinner, Julia and Tasha headed to the library to study. Hugh came rushing into the library to Julia. “What the hell are you doing here?” he yelled at her, only to get shushed by everyone there. Julia was embarrassed at this but also confused as to why he was yelling at her. “Why shouldn’t I be here, Hugh?” she asked him in a low tone.

“Pack up, you are studying with me in my common room. I have an essay due tomorrow, we haven’t got time” he said in a hasty tone. 

“Do you mean, me doing your assignment while you sleep in front of me? No thank you. Plus you’re planning this right now, and I’ve already got plans” she hissed at him.

“Why are you being such a bitch?” he screamed at her, in a relatively less tone than the one he used when he stormed into the library.

Julia took a deep breath and stared at him. “I’m done with you, Hugh. I’m not your puppet to do whatever you tell and to deal with your toxicity. Goodbye”. She then sank into her seat beside her friend.

Hugh came raging towards Julia, starting to yell, only to be facing the end of Tasha’s wand as she said silencio. Voiceless, Hugh clenched his fists and headed out. 

“Jules you good?” Tasha looked at her friend, only to see a crying mess. “There, there..don’t you cry for him” she hugged her. “Let’s head back to our dorms, okay? I’ll make you some tea..” Julia nodded and she packed both her and Julia’s stuff and took her to their dorm. 

--------------------------------------

It was a week after Julia broke it off with Hugh. She entered the great hall with sacks under her eyes and her hair not well groomed. Still, she was the prettiest person in the room. “Jules, up top!” Tasha tried to cheer her up, who had bags under her eyes too and a messy bun on top. Julia couldn’t sleep for days and Tasha stayed up, making tea and scones, consoling her.

“Should I have given him another chance? Did I overreact? I think I still like him” she said, tears forming in the corner of her eyes. “Heyy shushhh” Tasha made her sit. “You made the right decision, okay? Don’t worry..plus there are a lot of fish in the sea” Tasha smiled. 

Steve watched Julia sob from his table. His heart shattered as he saw her cry. “I’m going to kill Hugh” he let out a growl. “Calm down buddy, Hugh is a bigger mess right now. It’s so good to see the asshole suffer” Bucky chuckled. “Well he deserved it for breaking a heart of an angel” Steve said.

“Lemme get you your favorite quill from Clint, alright? He said he’ll lend it to you anytime, so I’m going there and snatching it from him” Tasha said as Julia smiled. “Keep smiling girl” Tasha pointed her index finger at Julia, walking to the Gryffindor table and getting the quill from Clint. 

“Keep it as long as you want, Tasha” Clint gave his best smile, being an amazing friend as he always is. “Sure will, honey” she winked, returning the smile. 

When coming back to the Ravenclaw table, she was stopped at the Hufflepuff table by the duo. “Oh hey Stevie, sup?” she smiled. “All good with Julia?” he asked shyly to which Tasha nodded.

“Flirting much? With Barton?” Bucky snickered at her. “Why do you care so much?” she smirked at him. “None of your business, messy bun” he pointed to her hair to which she groaned at him and turned back to Steve. “She’s just going through..a breakup, you can talk to her I guess, she’ll let her favorite people talk to her though” she smiled at Steve’s blush when he got to know that he’s one of Julia’s favorite people. 

“Aight then, see ya boys” she chuckled as she went back to Julia, giving her the quill. “Such a nice boy, Steve. He was concerned why you were sad.” Tasha said as she picked up her breakfast. Julia felt warm hearing Steve’s name. “Yeah, he’s always been nice to me” she smiled at Tasha.

After breakfast, it was potions. Great. Just what I needed in my terrible life. Potions as my first class.Till lunch. Julia thought to herself as she and Tasha went to the dungeon and sat at the first seats. They always sat at the front, answered questions back to back and scored points for Ravenclaw.

They waited for other students to come. Steve and Bucky came in and sat at a corner. As the students arrived and the class was settled, Professor Slughorn started pacing around the class slowly. “Today, we’re going to talk about and also brew the amortentia.” he talked the theoretical part for a few minutes before telling students to brew the potion.

Julia and Tasha were mostly partners in everything. As they were about to start with their potion, Slughorn approached the girls and asked one of them to interchange with Steve or Bucky as both the girls were smart and the boys cannot be trusted with potions. Since this potion required more precision, it was wise to let the girls split. “Mr.Rogers, pair up with Ms.Johnson” he said and Steve blushed profusely before coming to the girls’ table. “Have fun kiddos” Tasha smiled at them and picked her books. “Ms.Sen can assist Mr.Barnes” he added and Tasha moved to his table.

Steve looked at Julia. “J-Julia, are you okay?” he asked as he worked with the basic components of the potion.“Yeah Steve, I’m good. I just had a terrible breakup” she sighed as she began to take a component from him and cut it. 

He took it back and looked at her with his soft blue eyes. “If you’re feeling off, then I’ll finish the potion for us.I’m not clumsy, Bucky is.I just get caught with him” he rubbed the back of his neck shyly, which made Julia chuckle gently. “Also you look beautiful today” he added quickly. “I know you’re my friend, Steve but you need not flatter me” she smiled at him.

“No, I mean it. Your hair is so rich with the color and it looks so natural like this. Also your face is so clear and sun kissed and you have the most gorgeous smile I’ve ever seen” he said swiftly and nervously, but Julia caught the words and smiled at him. “You’re the best. I have no words except this, thank you Steve, it means a lot.”

He held her hand gently and squeezed it. “Also, if you have to talk about anything, I’m here” he gave a subtle nod at her, trying not to blush. Her heart raced for the moment when he squeezed her hand. She looked at him gratefully. “Sure Steve”

They then worked on the potion and brewed it successfully. After a while, Slughorn walked over to every table to inspect the potion. He arrived at Steve and Julia’s table and gave a satisfied smile after looking at the potion. “So tell me Mr.Rogers, what do you smell?” 

Steve hesitated for a moment and said. “Paint, canvas, cookies and a perfume..it smells something like a rose”. Julia turned a bit pink as she heard that but maintained a calm posture.

“Excellent. Ms.Johnson, what did you smell?” he turned to Julia. “Old books, the smell of rain and a cologne..I smelt the exact same smells when Tasha and I brewed this potion a few months ago” she said. Slughorn gave an impressive nod at Julia and Tasha for the early attempt at the potion.

“Prof, we smelled the same too!” Bucky called out to the professor. “What are you saying, Mr.Barnes?” Slughorn asked in a confused tone. “Miss.Sen over here and I smelt each other too” he chuckled, getting a slap on his arm from Tasha. “Shut up Buck” she whispered quickly, holding a laugh in. 

Julia felt her cheeks heat up. She just realized that all the mysterious feelings when she saw Steve was indeed love. The way her heart skipped when he held her or looked her in the eyes. They way she felt like she floated in air when he joked or played quidditch. The way she felt a pang of jealousy when other girls flirted with Steve. And she was glad it was mutual. She could not have tolerated two heartbreaks continuously. Little did she know that he felt the same way for her for years. 

Slughorn shook his head at Bucky and carried on with his class. “He is so sick of you, Barnes” Tasha giggled at him.

As Slughorn proceeded with his theoretical class, Steve turned to Julia and respectfully whispered. “Julia, will you go out with me? If you like me of course,  you are not obliged to say yes. You can take your time to answer, no rush” 

Julia smiled at him and noticed his nervousness. Of course she liked him, there was no doubt. You cannot lie to amortentia. Steve was fiddling with the quill, getting more nervous as time passed. 

After what seemed like forever, Slughorn concluded the class. Steve sat nervously in his seat. “Steve, I will go out with you” she smiled at him. Steve, being a gentleman, took her hand and kissed the back of it. “I’ll treat you right, Julia, you won’t regret it” he looked at her genuinely. Especially after a break up, hearing these words is annoying. Not when it comes out of Steve’s mouth, not when you see his earnest eyes looking at the girl he loves. Julia smiled at him. “I know I won’t regret it Steve” she pecked him on the lips and withdrew, making him look like a cherry.

“Well well well, if it isn’t my favorite couple” Tasha put her hands on Steve and Julia’s shoulders as Bucky stood on the side. “I fucking knew it!” 

“Come on Tasha!” Jules laughed softly, breaking the hug and picking her books. “So, this saturday?” she turned to Steve.

“Yes, at the library. I know how much you love the library..it won’t be a normal date, I assure you that” he smiled at her.

“Aight Bucko, take your man. I’m taking my homie to buy a dress for the date” she winked at him. The four walked out of the dungeon, Julia and Steve holding hands, talking romantically. Tasha and Bucky having a banter battle.

[gb-fics]

Peshimizumu

Fanfiction:

Kiryuuin Shou x Kyan Yutaka (Golden Bomber)

Note: Not surprisingly, this fic is for the song “Peshimizumu” XD I wrote a lot of gloomy, brooding Shou lately, so now you get a happy, fluffy one.

„Then …“, Shou said and raised his index finger into the air as if asking for attention. He had long, slender fingers that did not match with the rest of his short, stocky body. The contrast made his hands look even sexier somehow.

“I leaned out of the window and waved back”, Shou added and paused, seemingly for dramatic effect.

He stared at Yutaka in an obviously tipsy fashion. Yutaka did not mind. He was tipsy himself.

Shou spread his arms widely in a grant gesture.

Luckily, they were sitting in a separated section, where he couldn’t hit anyone by accident. Large gatherings were still prohibited, but this bar close to Yutaka’s apartment had come up with a nice solution. Yutaka found himself enjoying the privacy of their own booth more than sharing a large room with strangers.

“And that”, Shou concluded. “Was the most social interaction I had for an entire week.”

Yutaka burst out laughing.

Shou broke into a wide smile that looked happy and proud, as if he was glad that his story had made Yutaka laugh. His mouth looked big and wide when he smiled like that. The gaps between his teeth were such a natural part of his smile after all those years, that Yutaka hardly noticed them. He just noticed that Shou looked adorable when he smiled like this.

“So, you are telling me, the most social interaction you had for an entire week”, Yutaka repeated, still trying to catch his breath. “Was waving at a … dog?!”

Shou burst into a full laugh now as well. He was very pale, but red dots were showing on his cheeks. He wasn’t blushing where most people blushed, but rather close to his nose. It looked very cute. Yutaka thought that it was cute, that Shou laughed at his own story, if you told it back at him, too.

“I waved back!”, he clarified. “The dog raised its pawn and it was really fucking adorable.”

Still grinning Shou shook his head and took up his glass again. He drank in large gulps.

Yutaka had always noticed that Shou had a very manly way of drinking. He couldn’t explain it any better. Shou took large, soundly gulps, holding on to the glass as if it was a stone, he wanted to use to bash someone’s head in. Usually, his way of drinking would not have sparked Yutaka’s interest at all. But it did not match up with Shou’s hunched over way of sitting and the awkward way he moved as if not knowing where to leave his arms and his way of touching things, which was normally quite gentle. Shou drank like a man much more confident than himself.

Shou sat his glass back down soundly.

“Those were some dark weeks”, he said.

Shou could be pretty closed off and quiet and at those times, it was impossible to figure out what he was thinking at all. Alcohol did not change that. If Shou was in a bad mood, he was unable to hide it. The alcohol only caused him to turn more obviously sulky.

But if Shou was happy, it was nearly impossible to shut him up. He would babble on for hours and he would be all smiles and embarrassed laughter and his cheeks would flush and there wasn’t a thing Yutaka wouldn’t do to protect him when he was like that.

Tonight, Shou was clearly a happy drunk.

“I was so fed up with the inside of my own apartment, I’m happy to go out again”, Shou said. “Into the sun! I usually hate the sun! It’s so hot in the sun and I always get sunburned. But dude, I missed the sun. I also missed people!”

Shou paused again and leaned in, holding Yutaka’s gaze conspiratorial for a moment. Without colour contacts, Shou’s eyes were small and incredible dark. Yutaka could not make out his pupil from where he was sitting. Shou’s eyes looked black, but not in a menacing way. The black always looked warm, even on the days when he was sulking.

“And you know how I usually feel about people”, Shou added.

Yutaka burst out laughing again. That was another thing he liked about happy Shou – he was good humoured and very charming.

“I would have thought the lockdown was just the right thing for you. You don’t like going out to spend money or to socialize with people anyway”, Yutaka observed.

Shou leaned back again and snorted quietly.

“Right?”, he asked. “I’m such a negative person. I don’t like anything on the outside. But if I have to stay inside, I don’t like that either. I guess it’s just my personality.”

Yutaka chuckled, but brushed it off with a movement of his arm.

“Not at all”, he protested. “You are the most positive person I know. Look at you. Even if you hate those things, you manage to get all excited about them. Like sunlight. Only a very positive person would get excited about finally getting a sunburn again.”

Shou laughed quietly. His laughter was beautiful, when he didn’t hide his smile. It made his lips look gorgeous. Yutaka was happy that Shou had agreed to go out with him tonight.

“It’s not like that at all”, Shou said and pulled a plate of grilled pork towards himself. They had ordered a variety of snacks with their drinks, but most of them were gone by now. Shou eyed the meat curiously, but did not pick up his chopsticks.

“I’m all gloomy. Did you even listen to one of my songs before?”

Yutaka snorted.

“Yes, and that’s what I mean”, he insisted. He wondered, if Shou could really not see it. To Yutaka, Shou was nothing but a ball of joy and positive energy. “You write about all those painful emotions of yours. But you do it in a funny way. You allow people to laugh at you and to relate to you. So many people find solace in your songs. Because when you feel sad, you don’t just give in to it. You are productive and funny and kind. Also, stop staring at that meat already and just eat it.”

Shou turned his head and looked at Yutaka quietly. For a moment, Yutaka wondered, if he had given himself away. If he had spoken a little too enthusiastically about Shou’s good qualities and let on how strongly he cared for him.

But then Shou threw back his head and burst out laughing, as if the last words had just needed a moment longer to get through to him. He didn’t seem to laugh, because Yutaka had said something especially funny, but just because he was drunk and happy. Yutaka found himself smiling widely for no specific reason, either. He just smiled, because Shou was drunk and happy, too.

“I shouldn’t be eating more”, Shou said. “I will grow fat and no one will love me. See, that’s the kind of person I am. Always with those negative thoughts.”

“You seem happy alright tonight”, Yutaka observed.

Shou grinned. He did look a little embarrassed now.

“That proves how desperate I am”, he said. “Craving human interaction so much, I’m even happy to spend time with an idiot like you.”

Shou picked up his chopsticks.

Yutaka watched him for a moment, as he picked up a piece of grilled pork. He did it in an unnecessarily complicated way, as if he needed to inspect the meat throughout from different angles before eating it.

He wondered if Shou was right and the lack of human interaction during the last weeks showed. Yutaka felt Shou’s presence too strongly tonight. He seemed overly aware of his body next to himself. The air all around seemed to grow hotter when Shou leaned in and Yutaka had to follow the movement of his hands while he spoke and he had to stare at Shou’s lips when they formed a smile. Yutaka wanted to get closer to him in a very vague, undefined way. He just thought it would be nice to hold Shou’s body and sense him close. He had missed him a lot.

Only after staring at him for a good while, did Yutaka realize what Shou was doing.

“Oi, what happened to growing fat and lonely?!”, he inquired sternly.

Shou shrugged awkwardly, staring at his chopsticks in great concentration.

“I’ll just work out tomorrow. It won’t show for sure.”

Shou shoved the meat into his mouth. It was a pretty big piece and he opened his eyes widely while chewing. He looked overjoyed while eating.

Amused Yutaka shook his head.

“See”, he said. “You will be hungover tomorrow for sure. It’s very optimistic of you to think you are going to work out. But still, you are willing to stay hopeful. You have a very optimistic personality.”

Shou swallowed soundly.

“No, I don’t!”, he protested as if Yutaka had offended him. “I’m very pessi … pessi …”

He paused and then stared at Yutaka with an empty expression. Yutaka tried not to laugh, because he looked too adorable, trying to drunkenly recall a word that had more than three syllables.

“What’s the word again? Pessimi … pessimizumu? Is that what you call it?”

He made a confused face, that created wrinkles at the root of his nose.

Yutaka thought that he would really love to kiss Shou right now. Not seeing him for so long had made him forget how soft and full Shou’s lips were. They looked very kissable.

Yutaka licked his own lips, trying to buy time to remember what their conversation had been about.

“No, that’s not the term”, he said. “But that makes sense, since you are not pessimistic at all. You try again and again, because you are so full of hope.”

“No”, Shou said and put on an adorable pout. “It’s not optimistic to do something again and again, although you know you will fail. It’s stupid and pathetic.”

“It’s strength”, Yutaka said.

In his opinion, Shou was the strongest man, he had ever met. Yutaka himself was often too scared to try. Or he gave up easily. He had given up on bass and he had more or less given up on guitar. He didn’t have Shou’s optimism that one day he would get better. One throwback and Yutaka gave up. Shou probably did not like men and Yutaka would never kiss him, because he wasn’t brave enough to hope that maybe he did.

“No, it’s sad. Let me tell you about how I fall into the trap of hope again and again … with women.” Shou paused again and raised his hands. He surely turned dramatic when he drank. “Or should I call them … demons?!”

Yutaka tried to wince, but had to laugh anyway.

“Please, not the ex-girlfriend stories!”, he inquired. It was pretty much Shou’s favourite topic when he drank.

“Let me tell you about my ex-girlfriends”, Shou carried on, as if Yutaka hadn’t said anything at all.

Yutaka looked at him affectionately. Although the hairdressers were open again, Shou hadn’t went out to have his hair fixed yet. Dark roots were showing visibly and at the tips, his blonde hair looked dry and frayed. With the light blonde hair and his pale skin, Shou resembled a ghost. Without contouring his face looked slimmer.

“Here are some facts. My average relationship so far has lasted for about one month. All of my exes have dumped me. Since my thirty’s birthday, I have been dumped eight times, out of which three women just ghosted me.”

Shou shook his head slowly.

“My heart has been torn out of my chest, stomped upon and eaten while it was still beating.”

Yutaka burst into snorting laughter.

“You are exaggerating, Shou”, he pointed out.

“Every single woman has made it very clear, that they did not want to be with an ugly and brooding person such as myself.” Shou sighed heavily. “I’ve been hurt so often, that I started to believe that I deserved it, because no one could possibly want to date me.”

The last sentence he had spoken more quietly, staring at his glass thoughtfully. Yutaka could tell that the alcohol was about to make him drift off into melancholy. It often happened to Shou, once he brought up his exes.

Yutaka watched him from the side for a moment. Shou’s nose was very cute, looking small in his large face.

Sometimes, Yutaka wished he had realized how he felt about Shou, before all of this had happened to him. Tonight, Shou had seemed so happy, but Yutaka knew, that there was another side to him, too. A side that was sad and always too hard on himself and never pleased with his looks and his personality. Yutaka thought, that if he had been the first one to love Shou, he would have gotten it right. He wouldn’t have hurt him like those women had, and maybe Shou would be happy a little more often nowadays and sad a little less. Yutaka wished he could erase those past experiences from Shou’s memory. Not because he was jealous of those women, but because he felt like he would have done better than them.

But it was too late and the Shou sitting next to him now was already damaged and he already wore his scars. But then, Yutaka liked the brooding parts of Shou’s personality as well. He liked how they never got the better of Shou, but made it into songs instead and how his experiences had made him warm and gentle with others. He loved Shou for the person he was today and there was nothing to be done about any of it.

“It’s not like all of those relationships ended soon”, Yutaka scolded Shou, to get him out of his self-pity. “You make it sound like no one stayed with you longer than a month! That’s not true.”

Shou sucked on his lower lip for a moment. Yutaka wondered if he was even aware of doing so.

“True. But my personal record is about five months. Five months is as close as I ever got to my happily ever after.” Shou sighed again.

Yutaka furrowed his brow sternly.

“I guess I’m hard to be around for too long”, Shou added quietly.

“Oi!”, Yutaka interrupted him. “I’ve been hanging out with you for twenty years now. If I put up with you for so long, it should prove it’s possible.”

Shou chuckled.

“It’s doesn’t count”, he said.

Yutaka wanted to ask, why it didn’t count, but then he was scared that Shou would point out that Yutaka was nothing but a friend. Hearing that would hurt. It was better to not risk it.

“The problem seems to be with the women”, Yutaka observed and then decided, that it was worth a try. The alcohol made him braver than usual and it was nothing but a joke anyway. “Maybe you should try men instead.”

Shou turned his head slightly and cast Yutaka a sly look out of the corner of his eyes. The red dots on his cheeks were clearly visible again, but Yutaka couldn’t tell if it was because of his words, or if it was just caused by the alcohol.

“Actually”, Shou said and grinned without directly looking at Yutaka. His smile was a weird mixture of cheeky, proud and embarrassed. “I dated a guy once.”

Yutaka’s stomach jolted.

He told himself to stay calm. Surely, Shou just meant like in a high school phase kind of way. Yutaka shouldn’t get his hopes up.

“When?”, Yutaka asked, angry at himself because his voice sounded so flat with anticipation. “In middle school or what?”

Shou made an awkward hand movement and laughed. He was clearly blushing now.

“No, not that long ago. About three years ago, I think.”

Yutaka stared at him in confusion. He wondered why Shou had never mentioned it before, but then Yutaka had never told him about his own preferences either.

And probably, it had just been one or two dates for a try-out anyway. Shou had probably been curious. He was a curious, open-minded person, even if he claimed otherwise.

“What happened?”, Yutaka asked.

Shou turned more serious and shrugged, now looking at Yutaka again. He did no longer seem embarrassed. Yutaka was surprised about how much he seemed to be at terms with himself about this.

“Six weeks and he figured that the problem was me, not him”, Shou stated dryly.

Yutaka couldn’t help laughing. Shou had a way of mocking himself that made it nearly impossible not to laugh at him and almost impossible not to relate to him, too.

“Sounds like he was a douchebag”, Yutaka concluded. “So, the problem is not women. You just have shit taste.”

Shou laughed out loud. He looked so beautiful, that Yutaka wanted to kiss him again. For a brief second, he wondered if he was allowed to do so. Six weeks was a surprisingly long time. Shou had surely kissed that guy as well.

“Honestly”, Shou said and lowered his voice, leaning forward. Yutaka grew hot again, because he got so close. “The sex was amazing, though.”

Yutaka stared at him wide-eyed. Somehow, he had not expected that.

“Really?”, he assured incredulous.

Shou nodded hectically. He was still leaning in, with that hunched over posture of his.

“Yeah, I was a little hesitant about it, because you know. I thought it would feel uncomfortable or something. But then I thought – what if it feels really good instead and I’m missing out on that? So, I tried. And boy, did it feel good.”

Yutaka stared right into Shou’s dark eyes.

“So, you let him fuck you?”, he assured bluntly.

Shou laughed. He had the habit of not always tilting back his head when he laughed, but rather bending forward and pulling up his shoulders. It made him look giddy, when he laughed.

“Yeah, and that’s the only thing I do not regret about that relationship.”

Yutaka chuckled. He couldn’t quite believe that Shou had just went out there and had had sex with another man.

“See”, he said. “Always optimistic. Even with gay sex, you were more hopeful than you were scared.”

Shou smirked and turned his head.

He looked lost in thought now, but not directly unhappy.

“But it’s not a very positive attitude, is it? To date someone with the constant feeling that it will fail anyway, I mean. I’ve always felt like I was just waiting for the relationship to end. Everyone could sense that. That’s why my partners never stay long. Dating me always feels like an interim situation, I guess.”

“You are giving too much credit to yourself”, Yutaka said. “I’m sure the girls who ghosted you after the first date, just didn’t like you.”

Shou burst out laughing and turned his head towards Yutaka again. His lips looked so wide and full and his smile was so beautiful and his eyes seemed even warmer when he laughed.

Yutaka leaned in and kissed him.

He hadn’t thought it through at all and wasn’t sure which reaction he had expected from Shou. But Shou did not flinch and did not pull back. He just held very still and his lips felt soft.

Yutaka pulled back again, eyeing Shou closely.

Shou broke into a smile again, that looked nervous and happy. He looked very flushed now, too. His reaction was precious somehow.

Still smiling, as if he just couldn’t help it, Shou turned away again and took up his glass.

“I really miss our fans, you know”, he said, completely out of context and emptied his glass with a few, loud gulps.

Yutaka stared at Shou’s lips, that he had kissed only now. He couldn’t help smiling, either.

“We can still stay in touch”, Yutaka pointed out. “Through social media and all. They’ve been very encouraging.”

Shou exhaled soundly.

“I miss seeing their faces, though. I miss seeing that they are having a good time at our shows. How am I supposed to tell how they feel, if it’s just a text message?”

Yutaka shook his head. He wondered, if he should put his hand onto Shou’s back to comfort him. He wondered, if he was allowed to kiss Shou again.

Somehow, the interruption did not feel weird, though. It made the kiss feel casual in the best kind of way. Like Yutaka hadn’t done something big and scandalizing and like it wouldn’t change the way they talked to each other in the future and like maybe he might kiss Shou again without ruining their friendship forever.

“Their wellbeing is not your duty alone”, Yutaka reminded him. “You need to take care of yourself first of all.”

“Aah”, Shou said and turned his head, making a face where he squinted only one of his eyes shut. It caused his face to wrinkle up weirdly. “Sounds like something an irresponsible douchebag would say.”

“Douchebags, what was it about douchebags again?”, Yutaka asked and tilted his head. “Oh, right. Aren’t those your type?”

Shou snorted and pulled up his shoulders a little. He looked like he was trying to curl up in himself and Yutaka wondered, if he was acting defensive.

“I thought of doing a conference call”, Shou said. “Doesn’t the screen split into little honeycombs or something, if there are a lot of people on the call? I think I read something like that.”

He looked at Yutaka as if he was really expecting an answer.

“How would I know?!”, Yutaka huffed.

He wondered why Shou was talking about honeycombs instead of flirting with him. He didn’t seem desperate to change the topic, though. He just seemed nervous.

“Well, but then I thought many fans would not feel comfortable showing their face, right?”, Shou carried on. “They would just use pictures probably. And they would be too small anyway, I guess. It wouldn’t work with so many people.”

“Why wouldn’t they show their faces?”, Yutaka asked confused.

Shou shrugged.

“Embarrassment? Privacy?”

“They wouldn’t have to feel embarrassed in front of you. Just do it without makeup and you’ll be the weirdest looking guy on the call automatically!”

“Oi!”, Shou huffed, then he turned his head. He was hunching over so much, he had to look up to Yutaka. “That kiss just now …”, he started.

Yutaka’s mouth went dry all of a sudden. Shou had changed the topic again quite abruptly.

“Yeah?”, he asked warily.

“Would you care to do that again?”, Shou asked shyly.

He was smiling kind of helplessly again. When Shou smiled like that, Yutaka cared for nothing else but kissing him.

He looked around to assure no one was able to watch them in their private booth. A waiter might walk in on them, but chances for that weren’t really high.

Yutaka nodded shortly, then he leaned in and kissed Shou once more. This time, Shou reached up with one hand and placed it against Yutaka’s neck. He was kissing him back now. Shou’s kiss felt hesitant rather than demanding, but he was parting his lips and his mouth was warm and soft. Their kiss lasted longer this time.

Finally, Shou pulled back his hand and Yutaka took the hint and broke the kiss, leaning back.

Shou was beaming and his cheeks looked very red. Yutaka hadn’t believed Shou could get any cuter than when he was happy. But when he was happy and embarrassed, he was completely adorable.

For a moment, Yutaka had to fight the urge to just wrestle him down on the padded bench they were sitting on. The ironic part was that he did not want to do anything sexual to Shou right now. He just wanted to climb on top of him and wrap his arms around him and he wanted to kiss him. He wanted to kiss him on the lips and on the nose and on his forehead and on his neck and his arms and hands and shoulders and he wanted Shou to giggle and always look this happy and adorable. He wanted to hold Shou and make him forget about all the people who had hurt him before and feel him close and let him know just what Yutaka saw when he looked at him. He wanted to make Shou feel like he was the most precious man in the world.

Shou turned towards the table and pushed his forefinger against his empty glass. Yutaka noticed again how beautiful Shou’s hands looked.

“You want to order another round?”, Yutaka suggested.

Shou shook his head.

“You can have my drink, if you are thirsty”, Yutaka offered.

Shou looked over at Yutaka’s glass hesitantly for a second, then he made a face.

“No thanks”, he said, but it was pretty obvious that what he really meant was that in his opinion Yutaka’s choice of drink tasted disgusting.

Yutaka smirked.

“You are my type”, Shou suddenly said. “But I’m done with dating.”

“Really?”, Yutaka asked mockingly.

He took hold of Shou’s hand resting on the table plate. Shou did not pull back. His skin felt dry and a little cold. His hands were slim and strong and bony.

“Really”, Shou confirmed and looked right at Yutaka. His expression was serious. His dark eyes looked sad. “I’m done with love. No more relationships, no more hook-ups, no more anything for me. I’m tired of getting disappointed. I’m pessimistic. I know it won’t work out this time, either.”

Yutaka used his thumb to stroke the back of Shou’s hand. He knew, why Shou was not pulling back from the touch. Because no matter what he said – deep down, Shou was the most hopeful person Yutaka had ever met.

“Okay”, Yutaka said quietly and gave Shou’s hand a little squeeze. “Now, want to go back to my place and have sex?”

Shou’s whole face lit up. His eyes became even smaller, his mouth turned wide and big and his gorgeous teeth were showing.

Because no matter how many times he got disappointed and hurt, he never gave up. Shou was dumb and brave enough to always take the risk again, hoping that maybe – this time – it might work.

“Yes”, Shou said.

And Yutaka thought, that he really sounded quite optimistic about it.

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Three Hundred Forty-Six: Food ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

It’s funny how food went from a thoughtless necessity to something so...important.

Sasuke had never really given the culinary arts much consideration. Food was just...food. Sure, you could get fancy and expensive with it. Some of it is healthy, some of it is not. Some he likes, some he can’t stand. But it had no real...meaning to him. No significance.

Not until his Home Economics class.

True, cooking and food wasn’t the sole focus of the class. There was sewing, cleaning, managing a home, knowing how to care for children. In a lot of ways it felt a bit...dated, and yet it was all handy to know, once he got over the fact that he was the only guy in a class typically known as a “woman’s subject”.

But, admittedly, the days where they focused on food preparation quickly became his favorite. As neat as it was to learn to sew his own stuff, there was something about knowing about such a basic and necessary skill that was...rewarding. Satisfying.

And, well...there was one other reason.

Most of the students were underclassmen. All girls. The only other senior in the hour block was Hinata Hyūga. Someone Sasuke vaguely knew due to meshing social circles, but had never really had a chance (or reason) to speak to. While everyone else seemed a bit unnerved at his presence as both a guy and an upperclassman, Hinata had greeted him amiably, and was more often than not his partner for any activities the class took on.

She was friendly, warm...and yet quiet and attentive. Not like most other girls Sasuke typically found himself around, like Sakura or Ino. Being rather reserved himself, he found it...refreshing. Even his best friend Naruto was unapologetically loud at nearly every moment, and it was just so exhausting!

Given that the class wasn’t exactly difficult (at least not compared to his other classes, several of which were honors and AP), and the atmosphere so much more relaxed and easily paced...it quickly became one Sasuke found himself looking forward to, especially given its position at the end of the day.

So when the time came to switch classes for the semester...he really didn’t want to.

He’d made friends in the class. Learned a lot. Enjoyed all the activities, but especially all the time partnering up with Hinata, and most of all when they were cooking. Food had become more than just something to do three times a day. It’d become a hobby, and a meaningful activity between two friends.

Stressing about the change for several weeks, he’d talked to her about it, learning more about her own plans before just...deciding to stay, his father and his stuck up standards be damned. If Hinata could stand up to her own about her future in a far bigger way, then...he could do that much!

So, the rest of his senior year passed with Home Ec as his last class. It was mostly more of the same, but...that was just how he wanted it. His little retreat from the rest of the world, the rest of its expectations.

Hinata, he knew, felt very much the same.

The rest of the year, then, was spent just...enjoy it. Come graduation, Sasuke found himself a bit uneasy about the future, as many of his classmates did. But there were some things he knew would be just fine.

“Promise you’ll write?”

“I’m not going to just disappear for a year,” Hinata laughed. The ceremony was over, everyone milling about as pictures were taken and hands shook. “I’ll have my phone, and wifi whenever I can find it. Odds are I’ll be at least texting you a few times a week, okay?”

“Just...be careful.”

“Of course. I’ve been networking all year - I have friends in all the places I want to visit that I’ll be staying with, so...I’ll be f-fine. And I’ll send lots of pictures!”

“You better.”

“...I sort of wish you could come with me.”

Sasuke’s brows rose a bit. “...yeah?”

“Yeah! I mean…” She’d sheepishly tucked hair behind her ear. “Y-you’re a really good friend, Sasuke. I’m...I’m really going to miss you. And our class. No more hanging out after school baking pies, huh?”

“...yeah, guess not. Not for a while, anyway. I bet we’ll make a day of it whenever you get back, huh?”

“Yeah...if I come back,” she lightly teased. “M-maybe I’ll find someplace I really want to stay. Open up my little bakery, right?”

Sasuke couldn’t stop a soft laugh. “Yeah...then I guess I’d just have to come to you.”

“...maybe over one of your breaks, you can meet me whenever I’ll be. If...if you want.”

“...maybe I will.”

The actual goodbye was a tearful one. Going to send her off on her first flight - Hiashi nowhere to be seen - Sasuke had been a bit startled when she latched onto him tightly.

“...I’ll text you when I land.”

“...okay, good.”

“I’ll be heading s-straight to my friend’s place - she’s going to meet me at the airport. So...I won’t be alone.”

“Smart.”

“It’ll probably take me a while to settle in, so...if I go q-quiet after that, I’ll just be busy. But I’ll reply when I can.”

“Yeah...don’t worry about it. Enjoy your trip, all right? Don’t be glued to your phone. Experience it, okay?”

Finally backing up a bit, she let eyes flicker between his own. “...I will. H-have a good Summer if...if I don’t see you before you start school, okay?”

“I’ll give it my best effort, but...no guarantees.”

Smiling, she opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off as the boarding was announced. “...I better go!”

“Yeah, don’t be late.” Waving, he watched her get into line, digging out her ticket and passing through onto the plane.

Moving to a window, he’d watched it take off, a strange tightness in his chest.

...he still hadn’t told her how he felt, but...well, given that she was leaving, it felt like a pretty bad time to try. If she rejected him, it’d probably hang over her and ruin her experience. And if she didn’t - if she returned the feeling - then they’d reach that point only to be separated for an entire year.

He resolved to do it when she got back. Part of him was, admittedly, a bit worried she’d meet some cool foreign guy on her travels and forget about him. But at the same time...he also knew she wasn’t the sort to get swept up like that. Sure, she was a bit of a romantic, but...not that bad.

Summer seemed to crawl by. He kept up his cooking habits, still delighting his mother whenever he joined in to help with dinner.

“Going to be lonely around here, won’t it?”

“Huh?”

“Oh come now, Sasuke,” Mikoto had gently chided. “You think I didn’t notice you moping around after Hinata left?”

Startled pink bloomed in his cheeks, and his mother’s knowing smirk revealed she realized more than he’d let on.

“...she’ll be back before you know it. You two have something tying you together, after all. It might seem like ages, but...time has a way of flying the older you get. She’ll have her adventure, and probably be a different person when she gets back. But food, more than anything else, brings people together. And you two met over it, right? That’s a guarantee she’s a keeper.”

“Mom,” Sasuke had groaned, earning a laugh at his embarrassed tone.

“Sorry, sorry...I’m just so proud of how much you’ve grown this year. It’s nice to have this to share with you. And I know Hinata feels the same way.”

Staring down at the tomato he was peeling, he went quiet for a moment.

“...yeah. I hope so.”

                                                       .oOo.

     (This is a sequel to days 98, 108, 139, 227, 284, 301, and 331!)       This is...a little short, and I wanted to write one more scene, but I am just...too wiped, lol - maybe I'll have a chance to wrap this one up before the challenge is over!      And yes, to anyone just tuning in / behind, I'm still going though 2019 is over. I WON'T GIVE UP xD It's been 365 days, but I haven't written my 365 pieces, so I'm gonna plough through and finish up, no matter when it actually ends!      ...*coughs* Anyway...more of the Home Ec verse. I know this had a lot of time skipping in it, but...well, with the challenge almost over, and without much left to write, I figured I'd just hop forward. I have one more idea for it, and depending on how prompts go, maybe it'll happen in the challenge. If not, I'll just...write it on its own, lol      BUT, now I'm gonna go sleep. One thing I'll look forward to once this is over is (hopefully) getting to bed at a better hour x'D Thanks for reading!

[blackcatanna]

LET THE ORGY OF SADNESS CONTINUE: Okita's Route Part 3: Edo Blossoms

I'm very interested to see how this plays out. Tbh, I don't really get this relationship yet but that seems consistent with how I felt before Edo Blossoms in the other routes so, yes, I am excited! :D I hope that Kaoru doesn't die X_X I want at least one route with Kaoru redemption but I am not at all optimistic...

Chapter 1:

"Something else entirely had me preoccupied..." Could it be... one spicy, stabby boi?

Wait, are we... LIVING TOGETHER? 👀

Quick question: do silver bullets affect demons or just furies?

BWWWWAAAARRRP!!! PHYSICAL CONTACT ALARM! "I held his soft, trembling fingers in my hands," Whoa there. Please calm down. I cannot allow this level of unbridled eroticism in my Good Christian Suburb.

In all seriousness, though, I GUESS this is SOMEWHAT sweet and romantic but I want everyone to know that I'm saying this under duress. >:( If I fancied him, this would wring the fuck out of my heart.

"Are you sure? You aren't just saying that?" Glad to see that Doctor Chizuru studied under Doctor Gregory "Everybody Lies" House.

"Why is it that you're always here when I wake up?" If you can't figure it out, I sure as hell am not going to tell you!

"Okita seemed to take pleasure from my surprise, and he stared into my eyes." X_X Of course he did... Because he loves to provoke reactions.

"Answer me." MAKE ME >_<

"looking off to the side in a fit of feigned indifference." < Okita in a nutshell

Is he upset because I said that I was here because of worry and guilt? Because, tbh, fair enough. Those were pretty dumb things to say, making out like it's a burden instead of admitting that I actually like being around him >:(

"Well, I guess that's fine then." X_X Oh, come on! Don't use the f-word on me like that! D:

"She's lying." YAMAZAKI!!! >_<

"Look, I know you can't stop thinking about me, but this whole doting-all-day-and-night thing is tiring." Called. The fuck. Out. X_X

Tbf, it seems kind of hypocritical to be fussing over someone while refusing to let them even inquire about your own health. Plus, it's a very one sided arrangement, which is not healthy X_X

"stop throwing a bitch fit" XD Okita is my new hero :')

"I didn't know that my behaviour became a cause for concern for them, too." Then, perhaps, you are foolish and inconsiderate -_-

O: Okita!?? Did he faint?! O_O

Woo! Going on an adventure with YAM! :)

There had better not be any creepy bald fuckers waiting in mah house! >:(

Are all doctors bald in 1860s Japan????

I'm so happy that Yamazaki's still alive in this route :) TOUCH WOOD.

"*Grunt* *Cough*..." Ah, I knew it was only a matter of time before I caught tb -_- (jk)

No, never split the party! D:

"However the price to pay is life itself." DUN, DUN, DUUUUUUUUUN!!! So much for it granting "immortality"

"the poisonous Water of Life" uh... Isn't that kind of an oxymoron X_X

"Retaining your sanity is impossible without feasting on blood." Ah, so all along, the Shinsengumi were just feeding the furies a poor diet.

O: ):< WHO DARES THUMP MY YAMAZAKI?

Of course. It's fucking Kaoru -_-

Blah blah, sadistic fuckery, blah blah. I'm starting to get real tired of your shit, BROTHER.

"Was he trying to play a trick on me?" -_- probably, yeah.

Wow, that's... Actually pretty helpful? Thanks!?

Okay, the doctor folk have gone! I give Okita delicious blood now? :)

Oh. HE GAWN!!! O:

WHY ARE YOU UP AND DRESSED? >_<

"Sleeping all day is such a drag." True, so DRINK MY BLOOD AND GET BETTER >:(

Bloodlust time :O Good thing I'm a walking blood pack! :D

"How long have you been doing this?" Uh, haven't you been watching over him night and day?

"I wrapped my arms around Okita and held him tight " BWAAAA- Okay, yes, physical contact. Hug = gud >:(

"Pease, drink this " DRINK THE BLOOD >:(

"I could feel his breath brushing across my skin..." o_o Saucy...

Why are the blood drinking descriptions so erotic XD I mean, I'm not complaining but-

Who is this strange, apologetic man?

Blood > Porridge

Heh heh, apparently, Hijikata acts "all hoighty-toighty"

Oooh! Looks like Okita's trying to break free of his diligent YAM nursing...

"I am calm" Okita, last time you said that, you went on a killing spree...

Ooh, I wonder why Yamazaki and Okita don't get along... I remember seeing a picture somewhere with casual Yamazaki abuse in the background...

"Okita was acting like a petulant child, throwing his toys out of the pram..." X_X Sexy...

"Do you think the Shinsengumi still needs me?" HONEY, the Shinsengumi needs all the help it can GET!! O_O

Omg, Yamazaki's threatening to tell on Okita! XD He's playing a dangerous (and childish) game!

Side note: the painting in Okita's room is distracting me because it kind of reminds me of the dead mice my cats bring in on a regular basis.

WAIT, IT'S A FISH!!! X_X A NICE, INNOCENT LITTLE KOI FISHY X_X I need to stop spending so much time with my cats...

"What, already? Can't I stay up just a little longer?" Hakuoki: Mum simulator!

"I'll turn in on one condition..." Oo-er :O

"Okita grinned mischievously, and he peered directly into my eyes." O_O OO-ER!

"My palms became sweaty, and my heart skipped a beat." IT MUST BE LOVE O_O

"Since you're here, mind laying down next to me?" DUN DADA DUN! *fanfare plays* We got there in the end, folks! :D

DON'T YOU DARE SAY NO XD

"That's not a funny joke." True. And the only way to teach him a lesson is to PRETEND to take him seriously by DOING AS HE SAYS >:)

"You're so dense." FACTS.

WELL DONE, CHIZURU, YOU DONE COCK-BLOCKED YERSELF, I said, berating the fictional character as if that's not totally something that I would do in real life ..

"Okita blushed, turning away in embarrassment." O: CTRL+Z CTRL+Z CTRL+Z ):<

"I want to, erm, talk to you for a little bit longer..." Oh, we can "talk" all night long ;)

"Talk...? With me?" But I'm only a stupid woman, huh dur, with naught to say but um and er! Actually, Chizuru does say ""um..." I couldn't think of anything to say" in this route A LOT so maybe FAIR PLAY.

Just realised that I accidentally made a rhyme.

"Okita sighed, frustrated" HONESTLY, ME TOO.

"How clearly do I have to spell this out for you." I'm beginning to wonder that myself. He just wants some company, Chizuru! Is that SO HARD to imagine? X_X

"He began to run his fingers through my hair." Oooh! Physical contact :3 Chizuru = pet cat!

"as the tip of his finger touched my skin, my heart skipped." Yeeeesssss... Feel the thirst flow through you... 3:)

Are we gonna get a thirsty Western uniform pan, now? :P

"I tried facing him directly, but for some reason my heart was thudding in my chest..." :O Oh my! I cannot think of a possible explanation! You should get that checked out! >:P

"you find me sexy right now, don't you?" AH-HAH! >:D Caught red handed!

Ugh, can't believe he tricked me into saying he looks good. >:(

UGH. Doctor Matsumoto still needs to perform a final exam on Okita?! Just let him go already X_X

Wow, has Okita been seething against Hijikata this whole time? That... Can't be healthy -_-

"Okita had the tendency to act rashly and avoid looking at the bigger picture, particularly when Hijikata was involved." No shit. He's going to be such a handful X_X

"You're coming, right?" Of course. I'm not just going to sit around here while everyone I care about gets killed O_O besides, you need my nutritious and delicious blood to keep you nice and healthy ^_^

"she can't keep her eyes off me for long enough, to the point where she'll follow me wherever I go" Yeah, because that's how you win at this game >:P

"Aw, is that some blushing I see? It's the truth." Yup.

"Well, yeah," SHE ADMITTED IT!!! 8D

"So, Yukimura. It appears you have some feelings for Okita, is this true?" OH, FRICKING GREAT!!! NOW I'M BEING INTERROGATED BY MY DAD'S EX- COLLEAGUE ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE X_X IF THE GROUND COULD SWALLOW ME NOW, THAT'D BE GREAT! OKITA IS SUCH A DICK XD

OKITA. STOP.

Doctor, why you gotta be so serious? O:

"Criminy..." Uh... Is that a real word?...

Omg, it is a real word! I have never heard anyone use it but, tbf, this is the 1860s :P

Okita needs to stop saying that every decision that Kondou makes that he doesn't like is because Hijikata "coerced" him. He's a grown man. He can think for himself. Please respect his autonomy X_X This is not healthy.

Uuuuuugh. Kaoru >_< Seriously, get a life!

"I'm here to watch the Shinsengumi flail around like pathetic losers as they watch their friends die." ... KAORU, THAT DOES NOT COUNT AS A HOBBY >_<

"Looks like you made it in time for the show, though. You'll be able to witness the glorious execution of the Shinsengumi's idiot chief." Or, in other words, we arrived in time to try and rescue him >:)

"You look nice. All your little boo-boos patched up?" Uhh... There's a lot to unpack here...

"Okita reveled in the vicious display, allowing Kaoru's blood to shower him as he swung repeatedly at the Demon." O_O Umm... Okita? Maybe CHILL THE FUCK OUT. O_O HE IS MY BROTHER, YOU KNOW?!

Aaaand, seemingly Kaoru's going to milk that fact... -_-

Did he... Stab me in the mouth?!?? What am I looking at here? X_X

Also, why doesn't he just activate his demon form!?!

Wait, is he feeding me the Ochimizu?!

Kaoru says that the water of life will eat away at Okita's body faster than if he'd just succumbed to TB but that's clearly not true if he's living long enough to see the end of the Shinsengumi. Plus, a short life of action is better than spending the rest of your days fading away in a sickbed.

"Okita comforted me with the soft tickle of his hands as they wiped away each tear with a warm touch." :3 Pretty darn wholesome! I will concede this point!

"you're a sweetheart." :3 Thank.

"You're a good girl" And am I supposed to wag my tail at that? X_X

"I... I am in love with Okita." O: Damn, that'll go straight to his head X_X

"more than anything or anyone" not that that's saying much :P Sorry, romantic moment, must resist shit talking urges!

"I believed that if I died, no one would give a shit." </3 O: )': DX Neveeeeeerrrrr!!!!

I prescribe HUG INJECTION >:(

"You look like shit" -_- Way to kill the mood.

"Here, come closer." :D Okay, I forgive you! <3

Oh, he played the uno reverse card on my hug plan :O

"How could I keep myself calm when the man I loved held me delicately in his arms?" BIG. MOOD.

Awe, he didn't kill Kaoru because "my heart knew it didn't want you to hate me..." <3 <3 <3 >.<

"My heart melted." SAME.

Chapter 2:

Damn, we're only on Chapter 2 and things are already getting pretty fluffy...

"Do you want me to sleep next to you?" DO IT. XD I dare you :P

"I wonder if Okita thought of me as nothing more than a silk kimono and a warming stone, as if that was all I could offer..." Girl, come on! Don't sell him short like this! Oh, and tell me more about what you want to offer him 3:)

Well, it looks like blood is the answer, for now O_O

"Y-You're not gonna offer me a-any blood today? Trying to play hard to get?" -_-

"his warm mouth drew my blood into his full, tender lips." X_X Sounds like someone needs a cold shower...

"I'm a diseased freak with no hope for the future." D: Don't say that! Everybody dies eventually! You still have strength to achieve the things you want and we can still be happy together! :'(

"I will be by your side, Okita... No matter what." YUS >:)

SEN!!! <3

"Would it have killed you to at least write us a letter?" O: I'm sorry! X_X

Ha. Bold of you to assume that Kodo's continued research might be in your favour.

"Kondou has surrendered to the Imperial Army." O_O OH FUCK.

And of course Okita is blaming Hijikata X_X

"You are making assumptions, most of which are uninformed" Yeah, you tell him, Sen-bae!

I still don't see why we can't at least try to rescue Kondou >:( Are we just supposed to sit tight and wait for him to be executed?!??

" I'm sure that Kondou would be very unhappy to hear his life was saved at the cost of Okita's." >:( And I'm sure that he would be even more unhappy to hear that Okita spent the rest of his days confined to his bed, in misery and anguish. >:(

The dream was pretty wholesome :'o

I guess protecting the things that are important to Kondou, like his legacy, is more important than protecting Kondou himself. Kondou entrusted his legacy to Okita, and so his efforts might be better spent elsewhere, rather than on rescuing Kondou. :'( That's up to him, though.

HUG ALERT!!! 8D

"No matter how many times he touched me, I couldn't have imagined ever tiring of the sensation..." XD The thirst is real!

"Y'know, ever since you came into my life, I've always given you a hard time..." WHERE IS THE LIE?

These two assholes in each other's arms, like "Welp, I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of telling you that I love you so we're just going to continue this totally not heterosexual hug right now and stfu."

:D I am happy to see Hijikata! However, I know someone who may feel differently -_-

"Would you like me to wake him." O_O Nooooot a good idea, Chizuru!

"Without me to blame, I doubt he'll have anything to motivate him, and I'm worried he'll lose the will to live." :O Hijikata, that's kind of sweet in a fucked up kind of way but you underestimate the power of LOVE >:)

THIS HAD BETTER NOT BE FUCKING KAORU AGAIN!!!

:O Kazama and Amagiri?! I was beginning to think that Kazama had lost interest in me. Or, at least, hoped he had.

"This evening... Isami Kondou was beheaded." I just gasped out loud! Kondou, no! D':

OMG, IS CHIZURU TRANSFORMING INTO A BADASS DEMON?! 8D 8D 8D

"A woman who has sullied herself with the water of life is unworthy of my love. Consider this over." ... IF I KNEW THAT THAT WAS ALL IT TOOK, I WOULD HAVE DRANK THAT FUCKING CONCOCTION YEARS AGO >_<

"You are dead to me." GOOD.

Awe, Okita! :'(

NOW I'M CRYING, TOO D'X Damn this game DX

Chapter 3:

Chasing down the Shinsengumi >:) ... Again! If this is anything like Kazama's route, this is going to be depressing af...

We're like two fuzzy wood creatures, going from cozy spot to cozy spot to snooze in during the day :')

"Be a good girl," >_< Staaaaaahhhp!!!

"They went thattaway!" XD I know that this situation is pretty dire but that sentence makes me chuckle!

"Fight...? You?" Ye bitch! >:) I got me my ochimizu powers now!

"How dare you, you bastard!" UM. YOU ATTACKED US!!! WE WERE TRYING TO HAVE A NAP!

*Slash, slash, squelch, splat* X_X

"Ahahaha! You're just helpless pigs!" -_- Uh, Okita? Calm the fuck down, k? You're starting to sound like Kazama!

"his sadistic display of sword mastery." Yup, they be the right words -_-

Ugh, I got shot. Probably shouldn't have been standing around doing NOTHING X_X

D: I killed a guy! GUYS, CHIZURU JUST STABBED SOMEONE IN THE HEART, COME AND SEE!!! :')

"Chizuru, you're trying to hard." *Hides guide* I don't know what you could possibly mean :) :) :)

:O a kunai?! Could it be... my boy YAM?!

YAM!!! :'D

"I just assumed you died or something." Okita is the queen of tact, as always :')

Wait, Yamazaki, don't stay behind on your own O':

NOOOOOOOOO O_O

YAMAZAKIIIIIIII!!!!

OMG HE'S OKAY!!! 8'D 8'D

"I... Cannot afford to die yet..." Doesn't stop you in most routes, though, does it? X_X

"This doesn't look good..." Oh no! Is he going to succumb to his injuries off screen?! D': Classic Yamazaki D,X

"You've been spying on us for days, and I didn't even notice." :') That's our Yam boy!

Aw, Okita gave Yamazaki the thank you!

I reeeeeaaally don't think that Kondou would want Okita to murder Hijikata X_X

"I am going to be late, but I promise to return." YOU HAD BETTER. >:( DON'T DIE, YAMAZAKI!

Owl <3 Hoot hoot to you too, my friend!

Don't kill Hijikata, you dumbass. -_-

"A penchant for violence" X_X That's Okita all right!

It would be funny if he were drinking from Chizuru's foot, instead... Just, something about the way he's holding her hand invites that image XD

FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! WHY DOES A BATTLE HAVE TO ERUPT EVERYWHERE WE GO!?!

"Okita grabbed my hand" 8D < Happy Chizuru!

Wait... I'M GETTING BLOODLUST?!? MONSTER CHIZURU IS UNLEASHED >:)

Oh, I guess not. Kinda disappointed, tbh XD

Ugh, can we just catch up to Hijikata already? Let's get this over with.

Wait, his sister was "wedded off to some deadbeat"!?! I wonder how old she was... :/

"I was bullied and given shit all the time." :'(

The CG of Okita giving Hijikata the evils is BEAUTIFUL! X'D

"He was a rich snob" somehow, I doubt that...

Wow, Okita really is seething with passionate jealousy for Hijikata... Even though Kondou gave him the sword X_X

I feel like Kondou's relationship with Hijikata is different enough than Okita and Kondou's that Okita's intense jealousy seems a bit much...

It sort of feels kind of like a kid being jealous of their dad's new girlfriend X_X

MORE HUGS >:D

"Before I knew it, you slithered your way into my heart..." That's a pretty weird but also adorable thing to say X'D SLITHER SLITHER

"And you know just what to say," I KNOW, UNCANNY, RIGHT :) :) :) *hides guide*

"We couldn't help but succumb to the hypnotic lull of our passionate embrace." XD Does this mean a fade-to-black is coming :P

I love that their following Hijikata tracks like they're hunting the wild Hijikata beast XD

Is he all alone?

Oh, he has a bodyguard XD

Really inappropriate time to mention this but this route makes Hijikata seem more attractive to me than before XD Maybe it's because of the contrast with Okita's sadistic, violent, volatile side... Maybe it's because he seems more vulnerable when being berated by Okita, idk XD Leave Hijikata alone, Okita!

"You could have saved him!" But Hijikata has RESPONSIBILITIES. He can't just abandon his men and their cause to save Kondou, even if he wanted to :'(

"I COULDN'T!!!" Yeah, you tell him, Hijikata >:(

OKITA, DON'T PUNCH HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE!!! I mean, uh... XD

Wait, we're not going with the Shinsengumi?! O_e

"Hijikata's a real dumbass, don't you think?" -_- .......NO!

Kondou reading to tiny Okita = mega cuteness!

"If I never met Kondou, there's no doubt in my mind that I'd be waaaaay more cuckoo than I am now." And nobody, NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THAT O_O

"You and Kondou are pretty similar" Obviously, that's a compliment and I'm super flattered but I reeeeeaaally hope that this relationship isn't just because Chizuru reminds him of Kondou XP

"My heart suddenly melted in my chest." What, again!?! Chizuru's heart had been through A LOT during this route -_-

"To be fair, it was a little strange of Okita to compare a woman he loved to a man he viewed as a father..." <<< See?! :P

Skipping off, hand in hand :')

Chapter 4:

Aw, tiny Chizuru sadness flashback </3

It's unthinkably awful, what happened to the village, but revenge =/= genocide.

Chizuru, y u lie? -_-

"There were men who took pleasure from their evil deeds." And demons, too... And Okita, to an extent XD

Ugh, I bet Kaoru's gonna sneak up on me while Okita's gone and be all, "Yeeeeesssss.... Give in to your anger... Feel the hate flow through you..." Fucking annoying hate goblin child.

OH, LOOK WHO IT IS!!!

"You're a real bitch, you know that?" Oh, I'M A BITCH??!! Sure thing, tiny asshole. -_-

"At long last, we can come together. We can be the siblings were born to be." ... Happy and free from the burdens of hate and bitterness? O_O

"We are going to massacre the evil forces conspiring within this country, for the good of our people." ... What people? The dead ones? Yeah, I'm sure they'll be reeeeeeaaal grateful from their graves. Sounds like you just want an excuse to torment some humans, you sadistic piece of shit -_-

"Suddenly, I craved blood..." OH HO!

"I... I craved Okita's blood..." 'Sonly fair >:P

"my entire body screamed to tear Okita limb from limb." 8O Yikes.

I... Kinda want to know what happens if I give in to the bloodlust... 😏

Buuuuut I gotta endure it. Damn.

Oh, it's cold up North, is it? ;P What can we possibly do to stay warm in bed?

PENGUIN HUDDLE is hopefully the answer.

<3 :D Looking up at the stars together!

"I want to make your wishes come true. All of them..." :D Okita is every girl's dream sexy murder genie :)

""If you still plan on walking away from me and everything you have..." Okita reached his hand to me kindly." :) :) :)

"Then, I will kill you " FFS XD THIS BITCH!!!

I bet we're gonna kiss now or something. Damn that sexy murder genie X_X

Oh, no kissing, just crying XD That's... Actually more appropriate, even if they are happy tears :')

O WAIT, "I grabbed ahold of him madly" ...

SMOOCHY SMOOCHY >:)

"For once in my life, I felt whole," Awe </3 "the thought of which nearly brought my tears." BITCH, UR ALREADY CRYING XD

"each breath between our zealous smacking grew more strained and sensuous." O_e ... Uh, what did I just read? XD XD XD

"now that Kondou's gone... I only have one reason to fight." Uh... I have a feeling that it's a Chizuru reason... He really needs to find his own motivations, instead of just attaching himself to the causes of people who give him attention. Okay, that was a bit harsh. X_X I'm sorry, Okita!

"How about another kiss, huh?" "B-but, um... W-we just kissed..." ... SO!?! GIRL, YOU KNOW YOU'RE HOT FOR HIM!

"I'm askin' you if you'll have me or not." ... When he says "have", does he mean . . .

"Well, I think there's a time and place for everything." ... Damn. Is this game suggesting that if I say yes, I'm a slut and he'll think less of me? XP BOOOOOOO!

"Watching you squirm like that makes me want to play with you even more." XD As I predicted: Big Dom Energy!

"As long as I will live, I will crave your touch..." *Munches popcorn* Just screw, damn it!

"Our plump lips smeared against one another, and he pulled at a fistful of my hair, drawing me deeper into him as he bit forcefully into my lower lip." :O ... Kinky! >:P I totally called it XD

"I do not mind putting up with anything you might do to me, Okita." How... Romantic?? O_e Just admit that you're horny, Chizuru! There's no shame, I swear!

"I bet when I'm gone, you'll sob like a baby." :'O YES. OBVIOUSLY. >:'(

"Okita spooned me," Classic XD

Ew, Kodo.

"You look pale. Please do not tell me that you have been refusing to drink blood." XD Thanks for your concern...

Bless Okita for offering himself as an all-you-can-eat buffet X_X

"If I were to commit to this relationship, then it meant I needed to separate myself from my family." DRAMAAAA! :D *Pulls out another bag of popcorn*

"I have no desire to carve a life that comes at the expense of hurting others." PREACH B)

[psychosistr]

The Third Caballero- Chapter 7

Summary: After their confusing and mildly disappointing/heart-breaking encounter with the strange duck in the old mansion, José and Panchito learn his story...well, at least..what there is TO know of it.

Notes: Finally going to be introducing another key character this chapter other than the caballeros x3 Also, just in case I didn’t make it clear enough in the last two chapters, Donald has the Don Cheadle voice from the season 1 finale just so he wouldn’t be instantly recognizable (and because, lets be honest, Don Cheadle singing the “Once Upon a December” song would sound better than regular Donald singing it xD)

-First Chapter-

<-Previous Chapter Next Chapter->

Managing to be the first one to somehow choke down all of the confusion and disappointment weighing down his tongue, José was the first one to break the awkward silence that was left to hang in the air after Panchito let go of the confused duck. “My apologies,” He began with a sad smile. “I am afraid we mistook you for someone else.”

“Y-Yeah.” Panchito said while rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. “At first we thought you were a burglar, and then we thought you were..well..” He looked at the picture on the wall for a moment with a slightly sad smile of his own. “We thought..you were HIM…”

The duck frowned, rubbing the back of his head in an equally nervous way. “Um..yeah..sorry about that.” He grabbed his hat off of the ground and brushed the dust off of it. “If it helps anything- I’m not a burglar.” He gave a nervous smile and held up one hand to convey his honesty. “Promise. I just kind of..ended up here and wanted to get out of the rain for a bit. I didn’t know anyone lived here.”

Panchito recovered his usual brightness and laughed with a shake of his head. “Oh, we don’t live here.”

The duck looked between them, clearly confused. “You don’t? Then..are you..?”

“We are not robbers either, meu amigo.” José chuckled a little himself as he guessed the duck’s follow-up question. “We are in a similar position as you, I suppose. You see, our boat is in need of repairs and this house belongs to a relative of our friend, so we-”

“You have a boat?!” The duck asked, looking at José with big eyes filled with something akin to..hope? Relief? Desperation? He wasn’t sure, but the duck certainly looked eager.

“..Sim…?” José answered after a pause, a bit thrown off by the duck’s sudden change in mood.

“Have you ever been to America? What about Duckburg?!” He almost tripped again when he left Panchito’s side to stand in front of José instead, looking at him with wide eyes.

“Y-Yes, we have. Many times, in fact.” José leaned away slightly from the over-excited duck. “Why do you ask?”

“Can you please take me there?!” The duck asked while taking one of José’s hands in both of his own, looking at him pleadingly. “I have to get to Duckburg! I’ve been trying for years, but-but things just kept happening and-!” He fumbled with his words for a minute before reaching into his sweater and pulling out a small bag. “Here, I know it’s not much, but I can help pay for the trip!” He opened the bag and poured the contents- which happened to be a handful of gold coins- into his trembling hand. “I’ll help cook and clean and do repairs and whatever else you guys need me to do, just, please, I-!”

José frowned and put his hands on the duck’s shoulders gently but insistently. “Breathe, pato, BREATHE.” He said softly, concern for the stranger overriding his earlier discomfort from the other man’s proximity. He frowned when he felt how skinny the duck actually was under his clothes, the frown deepening when his thumb brushed against what felt like a bandage under the fabric- the suspicion confirmed when the duck in front of him winced slightly. “……” His frown softened into a smile and he patted the duck on his shoulder gently. “How about we get to know each other first, hm? We just finished having dinner and have plenty of leftovers. We can discuss transportation and everything else after we have become better acquainted. Isso soa bem?”

The duck hesitated for a moment before a growl from his stomach seemed to make the decision for him. He looked away, clearly embarrassed by the noise, but nodded. “Isso seria bom. Obrigado.”

José blinked with a surprised expression, not expecting the stranger to reply in such perfect Portuguese. This whole meeting was becoming more and more interesting…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After José set the food back on the stove to reheat, he returned to the bedroom with a bottle of water and offered it to the stranger, the trio taking a seat at the small table set by the room’s balcony so they could talk.

“Now then,” José said as he took his seat next to Panchito, across from the as-of-yet-unintroduced duck. “Let us start with some introductions. My name is José Carioca, but many of my friends call me Zé.”

Panchito went next, smiling at the duck seated across from them. “And I’m Panchito ‘Pistoles’ Romero Miguel Junipero Francisco Quintero Gonzalez III, but my friends call me Panchito.”

The duck uncapped the bottle of water given to him by José and took a sip before introducing himself. “Most people just call me Donato. Or Don, for short.”

José raised an eyebrow, picking up on the way the other bird worded his reply. “That is what they call you? Is it not your real name?”

Don looked down at the bottle in his hands with a slight frown. “Well..that’s the thing..” He frowned a little more while looking at his reflection in the plastic bottle. “I don’t know my real name. I…I can’t remember it…”

José frowned too. “You do not remember your own name?”

Don shook his head and looked back up at the pair seated across from him. “Nope. I don’t know my name, where I’m from, or anything else about myself. I just woke up a few years ago on a fishing boat somewhere near Brazil with no memories at all.”

“Near Brazil?” José asked curiously. That was quite a coincidence… “So that is how you know Portuguese?”

Don nodded with a slight smile. “The fishermen that pulled me out of the water were really nice, but they only knew Portuguese and I only knew English. Talking was pretty difficult for the first year, but we eventually figured it out. After I learned enough to talk to them, I asked them if they knew where Duckburg was- they told me it was all the way in America.” His smile fell slightly and his fingers went to the pendant around his neck. “They said they would try to get me there..but..our boat was attacked…” He gripped the pendant tightly in his fingers, the pain of that memory very clear on his face.

“Attacked?” Panchito gasped. “Who would attack such nice fishermen?!”

“Pirates.” Don answered, his frown turning into a scowl. “A pirate ship led by a horrible man called Capitán Karnage. He’s from a family of pirates that terrorize everyone from South America through Mexico.”

Panchito shook his head with a frown. “I have heard of that family- they once tried to attack the ship my father sailed on when he travelled to Havana. He beat them back, but he always warned our family to be careful on the seas..”

“And in the skies.” José added while folding his arms. “There is a pirate by the name of Don Karnage that my own family has run into before- he attacks planes and robs the passengers of their valuables.” He looked back at Don with a troubled frown. “If this Karnage is anything like the rest of his family, I imagine things did not go well. What happened?”

Don took a deep breath to calm himself and another sip of water before he spoke. “He attacked our boat..and..when we told him we didn’t have any treasure, he threatened to make us walk the plank. I fought him off long enough for the fishermen to get away, and, to make sure he didn’t follow them, I told him I’d work for him as long as he left them alone.” Don sighed heavily, one hand going up to press against the bandaged spot that José felt earlier. “I’ve been stuck as a prisoner on that ship for the past couple of years. I actually just escaped today..” He smiled slightly and gave a small laugh. “When you guys kicked in the door, I thought for sure they’d found me and..I was gonna be dragged back…or worse…”

“……” Panchito and José frowned more, feeling horrible for jumping to conclusions and terrifying someone who had already endured so much.

Clearing his throat to break the silence again, José looked across the table at Don with a soft smile. “You have quite a remarkable story, meu amigo. Would you mind if I asked you a couple of questions?”

Don looked back up at him curiously with a shake of his head. “Nope. Go ahead.”

José held up one finger to start with. “First, I wish to know about your name. Was it something the fishermen gave you?”

Don tapped his fingers against the table as he thought the question over. “Kind of..? Once I started to understand Portuguese, they asked me what my name was. I couldn’t remember it, but something told me it had ‘Don’ in it. So, they started calling me ‘Donato’, kind of as a joke since I was ‘given’ to them by the sea.”

“Hmh, I see.” José said with a slight chuckle at the Latin joke. “Now, my second question..” He looked at Don seriously. “Have you been to Bahia, Donato?”

“Bahia, Brazil?” Don thought that question over just as seriously. “Umm..not that I can remember..” He closed his eyes and counted off countries on his fingers as he muttered. “Started in Sao Paulo…stayed over in Santa Catarina…pit stop in Uruguay…crashed by the Falkland Islands…two weeks in Chile during the storm…that layover in Ecuador…crossed over Panama…a night in Belize…aaaand then here…” He opened his eyes and shook his head. “Nope, don’t remember going to Bahia. Then again, for me, that doesn’t mean much, huh?”

“I suppose not..” José said quietly, leaning his beak against his hand as he thought everything over. There were just so many odd coincidences… He looked back up at Don for his final question. “Lastly, I must know: Why is it so important that you go to Duckburg?”

Don looked back down at his necklace. “I think…I think I know someone there..” He hesitantly reached behind his head and untwisted the clasp so he could take it off, but still kept a firm grip on it as he turned it over to show the other two birds the inscription on the back of the pendant. “I’ve had this necklace since I woke up. I feel like it’s..it’s important to me. No matter what, I made sure to keep it with me and never let it out of my sight. It doesn’t look like my handwriting on the back, so, I figured, someone must have GIVEN this to me..and, whoever that person is, they might still be waiting for me in Duckburg.” He put the necklace back on and looked at them pleadingly. “I know it’s a long-shot..but..Duckburg is literally the ONLY lead I have right now. If I can get there, maybe I can find the person that gave me this necklace and they’ll know who I really am..”

José looked down, mulling over all of the information in his mind: A duck that looked just like Donald, but sounded completely different and with no memories of his past. He felt like his name contained the word ‘Don’ and was found at sea near Brazil. Not to mention the fact that he had some sort of connection to Duckburg and just HAPPENED to find his way to the mansion the one time he and Panchito were there.

That was far too much for this to be a mere coincidence: This was fate.

“¿Algo está mal, Zé?” He heard Panchito’s curious voice and turned to see the rooster looking at him with a tilt of his head.

José gave him a calm smile and shook his head. “Está tudo bem, querido.” He stood up from the table and pushed his chair in behind him. “Your food should be ready by now. I will be back in a few minutes.”

“O-Oh, um, thanks..” Don said with a quick nod of his head while watching José leave.

José partly closed the door behind himself and slowly made his way back to the kitchen. There was just so much information to process, he needed the time and space by himself to go over everything.

For starters, WHO was this “Don” person, in reality? He looked exactly like their missing Donald down to the smallest of details (aside from his apparent malnourishment, but that was easily chalked up to abuse from the pirates he’d been living with for the past couple of years), and the only thing that really seemed different about him was his voice. José didn’t feel like he was lying to them about who he was or what happened in his past, so that left them all equally confused about who he was.

Secondly, WHY was he there, of all places? Not just in the mansion, but in DONALD’S room. Out of every possible room he could have wandered into, he just happened to go into the one place that was most familiar to Donald. That felt like some sort of instinct- similar to an un-domesticated bird such as a pigeon finding its way back to a previous location.

Finally, there was the most important question on José’s mind: WHAT was this strange feeling that had been gnawing at him since setting foot in the mansion? He felt like something was happening around him- something bigger than just himself in a way that he had not felt since the loss of his magic. Maybe the gods were trying to send him a message? If they were, then what was it? This duck had to be connected to Donald in some way, but he wasn’t exactly sure HOW.

“……” He arrived in the kitchen and heaved a heavy sigh as he grabbed Don’s food from within the oven. “Ay caramba…” He muttered and rubbed tiredly at his eyes once the food was safely on the counter. “That bruxa was right: Some things are worse than death…”

He leaned heavily against the counter, lamenting- and certainly not for the first time in the past decade- the loss of his magic. If he had his powers, he could’ve had any number of ways to find Donald by now, or help this new person sort out his missing memories, or done literally ANYTHING to help those around him. He just felt so…so…useless.

He knew that wasn’t true, of course. He knew he was still clever and skilled and capable of many things. He could fight and make plans and cook and help in any number of ways..but, without his magic, it felt like he was missing a vital tool that made him even more useful to those around him and he hated it.

As if to distract from his melancholy mood, he felt a sudden buzzing in his pocket and heard samba music playing. Picking himself up off of the counter, he fished his phone out of his pocket and saw a name on the screen that he hadn’t even thought of in years.

Swiping his finger on the screen to answer the call, he held the phone closer to his head “Gladstone?”

He heard the Gander’s familiar, slightly-arrogant voice in the speaker. “Hey, hey, big Jo! Long time no speak! How’s it hangin’?”

“Fine, I suppose.” He tried not to cringe, but Gladstone’s attitude was a bit off-putting to him. He certainly understood why Donald wasn’t a fan of spending extended periods of time with his cousin. “It has been a while. Did you need something?”

“Straight to business, huh? I like that!” The overly-lucky guy said with a laugh before his tone shifted into something slightly more serious. “Actually, yeah, I did need something. Are you an’ ‘chito still looking for Donald?”

José frowned slightly at the question. “Of course we are- we never stopped.”

“Good, good.” Gladstone sounded pleased. “That is EXACTLY what I wanted to hear. So, you guys got any leads?”

José was about to say no, but he remembered Don waiting in the other room and decided to tell the truth. “…Maybe..” He shook his head slightly and decided to serve up Don’s food while he talked. “Why are you calling about this NOW, if I may ask?”

“Because I think that we can help each other out.” José could hear shifting on the other end of the line, as if Gladstone was sitting down and getting comfortable for the rest of the conversation. “You see, old Scroogie McDollarsigns and Dellsie are on the up-and-up, so Scrooge decided to start searching for Donald again.”

That was certainly news to José. Good news, but still surprising to hear.

“Really?” He questioned while holding the phone against his head with his shoulder so he could carry the food back towards the bedroom. “That is good to hear.”

“Oh yeah, definitely. What makes it even better to hear is that old McMoneybags is offering a reward to anyone with leads on poor Donnie. Pictures, phone calls, even guys that look like him- he’s offering like 50k a pop on that last one.” He paused for a moment and José could hear him shifting his position again. “Anyway, that’s why I called you. Well, actually I didn’t call you- I kinda dropped my phone and it just HAPPENED to call you. Pretty weird, huh?”

“Sim. Weird…” José was very familiar with how Gladstone’s luck worked. It was a very special kind of magic that, ultimately, only benefitted him, and often in ways that even Gladstone himself couldn’t always see.

“You said you guys have a lead, right? What is it?” Gladstone seemed to be done tip-toeing around the subject and got straight to the point.

José paused outside of the door to Donald’s old room where Panchito and Don were still talking inside. “……” He hesitated to say anything, wondering if it would be right to tell Gladstone, of all people, before the rest of Donald’s family. Then again, Gladstone’s luck was an odd phenomenon and there was likely a good reason why he just happened to call when he did. Perhaps this was also fate? “We..met someone that looks just like Donald.” He finally answered. “He sounds different and has no memory of who he is, but he thinks he knows someone in Duckburg and wants us to take him there.”

Gladstone hummed in thought, then was quiet for a moment. “Can you send me a pic?”

“Um momento.” José said before quietly prying the door open enough to peek inside without being seen. He had a clear view of Don and Panchito across the room and snapped a picture with his phone, standing back from the doorway before sending the picture to Gladstone. “That’s him.”

There was a ding on the other end when Gladstone received the picture, followed by a low whistle. “You weren’t kiddin’- the guy looks JUST like Donnie. Alright, how about a deal? You guys get him to Duckburg and we’ll split the reward money three ways? Sound good?”

“I..I do not know..it feels wrong…” José frowned at the proposition. Cashing in on not only their closest friend’s disappearance, but also this poor down-on-his-luck stranger’s odd situation? It felt like it would leave a bad taste in his mouth…

“Aw, c’mon, don’t look at it like that.” Gladstone urged him. “Think about it this way: You guys are probably strapped for cash right now, right?”

“…Yes..” José answered after a moment’s hesitation.

“And this guy REALLY wants to go to Duckburg, right?”

“…Yes…” José knew he had a point, but it still felt wrong..

“I’m not saying we lie to anyone here- all I’m suggesting is you bring him here and let Scrooge and Della take a look at him. If it turns out he’s got some sort of connection to Donald, great! If it turns out he doesn’t, then he still gets to come to Duckburg and we all get some easy money. It’s a win-win!”

“..I..suppose you are right..” It did sound like a fair trade, all things considered. “I will talk to him and Panchito about it and see what they think.”

“Woah, woah, woah!” Gladstone’s tone stopped him from ending the conversation. “You CANNOT tell that guy about the money.”

“Huh? Why not?” José asked with a confused frown.

Gladstone heaved an annoyed sigh. “Ol’ Scrooge is getting sick of dealing with fake Donalds just acting the part so they can get a place in his will. If he thinks this guy’s another moocher, then he’ll have that buff house-keeper of his stop us at the gate. Just get him here and let me handle the rest, capiche?”

“We will do what we can.” José finally relented. “But, as you said, our financial situation at the moment is rather sad. What if we run out before we reach Calisota?”

“Huh? Oh, hold on one sec, J-Z.” Gladstone said, sounding distracted. José heard talking on the other end, though it was further away. After a minute, Gladstone returned. “Looks like I just won a free one-way trip to Panama, as well as a couple thousand in traveling expenses. It’ll be a bit of a trip, but do you think you guys could swing down that way then just take the Canal around to the other side an’ shoot up to Calisota from there?”

José thought over how much gold he’d seen in Don’s bag. It would be a stretch, but they were used to making their money last as long as possible. “I think so.”

“Great!” Gladstone sounded much more pleased with José’s compliance now. “I’ll be in touch. Ciao!” And, with that, he hung up.

José took a deep breath to settle his nerves and thoughts as he hung up the phone and put it in his pocket. He would definitely need to talk this over with Panchito, but it sounded like the right course of action to take.

They finally had a half-way decent lead and a way to get to Duckburg had presented itself at the most perfect possible moment.

While it still felt wrong to accept money for such a tragic situation, he decided it would be best to heed the call of fate this time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, all the way in Calisota, Gladstone was staying at Scrooge’s mansion along with a few of his other cousins. The multi-billionaire had started inviting many of their relatives over after making the decision to start looking for Donald again, both to make forming search parties easier and because December was right around the corner, so they might as well stay for the holidays and save on travel expenses (not that that last part was ever a problem for Gladstone, but he wasn’t about to turn down good fortune whenever it came to him).

Calling José had been a strange stroke of luck, but he had learned years ago to just roll with whatever fate gave him, knowing it would ultimately turn out for the best. Well, for him, anyway- he couldn’t say for sure how it would turn out for the rest of his family.

Eh, whatever, might as well play his cards and see where the chips land. Like he told José on the phone- it would be a win-win, no matter what happened.

The only minor hitch in his plan was having to go all the way to Panama. He REALLY didn’t feel like traveling all the way down there just to pick up some Donald look-alike. Maybe he could talk Fethry into it or something, the poor guy needed some more fresh air after being cooped up in the sea-lab for so long-

“Oof!” He bumped into a somewhat shorter someone while rounding the corner. Looking down, he saw that it was a young duckling in a striped sweater and died hair that looked close to the age of Della’s kids. “Geez, would it kill you to watch where you’re going?” She complained as she sat up from where she’d fallen on the ground.

“Oops, my bad.” Gladstone offered her a hand up, which she reluctantly took with a roll of her eyes at the lack of genuine apology in his voice. The girl seemed familiar, but looking at her for a moment afterwards did nothing to jog his memory about who she was. She wasn’t the same girl that came with Della and the boys to save him from the luck-vampire, he knew that much. “Sorry, but this is gonna eat me alive if I don’t ask- are you a relative or..?” He trailed off, waving his hand in a prompting manner.

The girl rolled her eyes again. “No, I’m not. I’m Scrooge’s house-keeper’s granddaughter’s best friend.” She paused for a minute to let all of that sink in. “Yeah, I know- this family is confusing.” Reluctantly, she held a hand out towards him. “Lena Le Strange.”

“Gladstone Gander.” He replied while giving her hand a quick shake. Realizing his hands were empty, he looked around at the floor. “Darn it, where’d it go..?”

Lena was the one to spot it, as it landed by her foot. “Looking for this?” She asked while retrieving the phone. When she picked it up, though, she happened to see the screen and, by extension, the picture from José that was still open. “Hey, who’s that?”

Gladstone took back the phone when she handed it to him and looked at the picture. “Oh, just an old friend of my cousin and some guy that looks like him. I’ve gotta head down to Panama to pick ‘em up. Anyway, nice meeting you. Later.” He said, already walking away and looking back at his phone to plan his trip.

“Yeah, whatever. Bye.” Lena said and continued on her own way…until, once she was out of sight, her shadow suddenly rose up on the wall behind her and formed a different shape entirely. Looking up at the shadow, Lena stuffed her hands in her pockets with an annoyed expression. “What is it now? I thought you agreed to keep quiet here.”

The shadow formed a female silhouette with a different haircut and figure from Lena, a wickedly excited smile spreading across its face. “That picture! Those idiots actually found the REAL THING!”

Lena raised an eyebrow. “You sure about that? His cousin didn’t seem too convinced.”

The shadow folded its arms, the smile turning into a scowl. “I recognize that pendant. Trust me- it’s hard to forget the last thing you see before you’re sealed away. You need to get to that duck and retrieve the dime hidden in his locket BEFORE he gets back to Duckburg! Once he’s reunited with his family, Scrooge will take back the dime and lock it away for safe-keeping. Getting it now is our best chance!”

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Lena said while leaning away from the shadow that had started to grow bigger against the surface of the wall. “But how am I supposed to get all the way to Panama? You got a spell for turning water into plane tickets or something?”

“Well, not water, but there is that one spell using a zebra- ah! Wait! There’s no need for that.” The shadow pointed in the direction that Gladstone had gone a moment ago. “That fool Gladstone is the only ticket you need. He absolutely loathes hard work. Offer to go in his place and he’ll probably see it as a lucky break.”

“Come on, it can’t be THAT easy.” The girl said with a doubtful look at the shadow.

“Trust me, it will be. Gladstone Gander is nothing if not predictable.” The shadow groused with a roll of its “eyes”.

Lena smirked slightly at the shadow on the wall. “You seem pretty confident about that. You know him or something?”

The shadow looked away from her, almost pouting. “It’s a long story and we don’t have time. Besides, we don’t talk about it…” She gave a shooing motion with her hand. “Now, go on, get to it before your one chance gets away!” And, with that, the shadow returned to Lena’s original shape.

“Whatever you say, Aunt Magica..” Lena said with an air of both annoyance and resignation. Backtracking, she found that Gladstone hadn’t gone too far yet. “Hey, Mr.Gander!”

He turned to look at her with one eyebrow raised in question. “Just Gladstone’s fine- Mr.Gander makes me feel old. What’s up, short stuff?”

Lena rubbed at the back of her neck, trying to give off a casual air while figuring out her own words. “It’s just..I was wondering if I could, y’know, go to Panama to pick those guys up for you..?”

Gladstone blinked, clearly confused by the sudden offer. “Why would you want to do that?” He narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously. “Lemme guess- you want in on old Scrooge’s reward money? Look, I understand the appeal, really, but I’m already splitting it three ways and four just seems like too much-”

“No, it’s not like that!” Lena cut him off, trying to quickly think of a good excuse. “I don’t care about the money, I just..uh..I want to travel! Yeah!” That excuse seemed feasible enough, so she ran with it and gave him her best excited smile. “Webby’s always talking about the places she gets to go with Mr. McDuck and the boys- I want a turn to go on an adventure too.” She looked down slightly, bringing her hands up to twiddle her fingers together in the best approximation of nervousness she could manage without feeling sick. “I’ve never even left Calisota before. My aunt doesn’t exactly have a stable job, so traveling’s out of the question on our budget.” She looked back up at him with a frown, hoping she came off as troubled and embarrassed to be asking for something. “I can’t really pay you back, but, when you bumped into me and said you were going all the way to an exotic country, it felt like, I dunno, fate or good luck or something?”

Gladstone only took a moment to think it over before he shrugged. “Okay.”

She blinked in surprise and stared at him. “ ‘Okay’..?” She repeated back to make sure she heard him right. It couldn’t have seriously been THAT easy, could it..?

Gladstone pulled something up on his phone. “Yeah, sure, why not? You want to go there, I don’t- it all works out. Hey, what’s your number?” He held his phone out to her and she put the information in. Once he got it back, he pressed a few more things and her own phone went off in her pocket. Pulling it out to check, she saw that he’d sent her the confirmation code for a free plane ticket. “Flight leaves in a couple days, make sure to keep me posted. Oh, and you’ll need this.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a credit card. “International card,” He explained nonchalantly while handing it to her. “Has a couple g’s on there. Should be enough to get you there and back with the guys. Good luck.” He left with a wave over his shoulder and that was that.

Lena blinked again, looking between him, her phone, and the card in her hand. Once he was out of sight, she finally said to herself “Okay, so maybe it IS that easy…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

José pulled Panchito out into the hall while Don eagerly ate his meal, giving the excuse that they had to take a phone call. Making sure they were out of earshot, he caught Panchito up on the conversation he’d had with Gladstone a few minutes ago and what he’d agreed to do.

Panchito frowned a bit when José finished his story. “I don’t know, Zé..it feels kind of…” He trailed off with a glance to the side, apparently searching for the right words.

“Wrong. I know, trust me.” José sighed with a matching frown before placing a hand on Panchito’s shoulder to get the other bird to look at him again. “But..we need the money, you can’t deny that. Besides, it’s like Gladstone said- whether Don has any connection to Donald or not, he still gets a ride to Duckburg. Also..I feel like something is PUSHING us to do this. Everything is falling into place too perfectly: Don’s appearance, his desire to go to Duckburg, Gladstone’s call- it’s all too good to just be a coincidence, don’t you agree?”

Panchito nodded after thinking it over for a minute. “Well, if you think it’s the right thing to do, then I trust you, querido.” They shared a brief, tender smile before Panchito did a quick fist pump to show he was ready. “So, what’s the plan?”

José chuckled at the cute display of excitement and gestured for the rooster to follow him back in. “Just follow my lead.” The pair walked back in, gaining Don’s attention as he finished his food. “Our sincerest apologies, it was rather rude of us to just walk out like that.”

Don swallowed what was in his mouth with a shrug. “Oh, it’s fine. Sounded important, anyway.”

José sensed a perfect opportunity to broach the subject and decided to go with it. “It was indeed. The call was from an acquaintance of ours in Duckburg.”

That instantly got Don’s interest and he set down the bowl and spoon, looking at them expectantly. “Really?”

Panchito nodded, easily catching on to what José was doing after years of working cons with him. “Yeah, he wants us to head up there and see him.” He took a seat on the foot of Donald’s old bed casually.

Don began to look excitedly hopeful and it tugged on both birds’ heartstrings to see such an adorable look on that face. “Do you think I could- I mean, could I come with you guys?!”

José frowned slightly, both to keep up appearances and because he felt a bit bad for what he was about to say. “Well…I’m not sure..”

Don’s expression fell instantly and he began to look worried. “What? Why not? Like I said, I-I can pay for some of it!”

He began to pull out his bag of gold coins again, but José placed a gentle hand on his arm to halt his movements. “I know you can, my friend, and we really would like to help you, but this will be a very long and costly trip. Our acquaintance has agreed to fund the trip on the condition that we find someone for him.”

“Who is it?” Don asked quickly, desperately grasping onto any chance that he could still go with them. “Maybe I can help you find them!”

Panchito pointed over to the portrait on the wall that Don had originally been drawn to. “Him.” He stated simply, getting up to stand in front of it so he could look up at Donald’s oh-so-familiar face. “He wants us to find him, or at least someone connected to him..”

Don looked at the picture as well, frowning a bit. “Oh..”

José paused for a moment to appear as if he was thinking about something. “Hmm..you know..you DO look a lot like him, Don..”

Don blinked a bit in confusion, looking between José and the picture. “I do?”

Panchito looked back at Don with a grin. “You do! I mean, I actually thought you were our Donald when I saw you.”

“As did I.” José admitted with a sigh. “The resemblance is uncanny. You could probably pass for him quite easily.” He snapped his fingers as if the idea was just now coming to him. “That’s it!”

“What’s it?” Don asked while looking back at him.

Panchito gasped in fake surprise. “José, you don’t mean-?!”

“Oh, I do indeed, Panchito.” José replied with a confident nod.

“Mean what?” Don asked as he looked back to Panchito.

“But could it really work?” Panchito asked with a tilt of his head.

“We won’t know unless we try.” José said while crossing his arms.

Don finally exploded with frustration and yelled out loud while flailing his fists to emphasize his irritation. “Could you two just tell me what you’re talking about?!!”

José held up his hands in a placating gesture. “Calm yourself, my friend. Now, listen-” He placed one hand back onto Don’s shoulder and gestured to the portrait with the other. “You look like Donald, yes?”

“I guess so..” Don said while looking back at the picture for a moment.

“And you want to go to Duckburg, yes?” José asked while leading him slowly towards the picture.

“More than anything..” Don answered immediately in a soft voice, his hand coming up to touch his necklace.

“And Donald has family in Duckburg.” José stopped with Don while standing in front of the picture, Panchito standing on his other side while José spoke. “In my opinion, you look too similar to him for this to be a mere coincidence…”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Don looked up at the picture in front of him, staring at the face that matched his own with a confused expression. “You really think that I’m HIM?”

Panchito wrapped an arm around Don’s other shoulder, the duck held in place by both his and José’s light touch while the two gestured to the picture with their free hands. “Who knows? You could just be related to him. Either way, you’d have family in Duckburg that could tell you.”

“……” Don still looked skeptical, his hand tightening around the necklace. “What if you’re wrong…?”

José shrugged and waved the idea away with one hand. “I doubt we are. But, on the VERY unlikely chance that we are, you still get a ride to Duckburg. It would be a win-win, sim?”

“I..guess you’re right..” Don said quietly.

“Of course we’re right!” Panchito said enthusiastically while giving Don’s shoulder a squeeze. “We know Donald and his family better than anyone else, so we can tell you everything you want to know about them on the way there- it might help jog your memory!”

“Okay.” Don said once before repeating it with more conviction, finally looking excited about the idea (if the way his tail visibly wagged behind him was any indication). “Okay! Let’s do it! Teach me everything about my potential family!”

José and Panchito smiled while giving the excited duck their nods of affirmation, pleased that their little con was starting off so well.

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End Notes: Not much to say about this chapter other than 1.) Sorry it took a bit longer to publish, 2.) It’s my first time writing Lena as a character so let me know if she seems OOC, and 3.) The whole reason I picked the setting for the beginning of the story was solely so I could have José ask the “Have you been to Bahia?” question in this chapter because I’m a sucker for stuff like that xD

Translation Notes:

Isso soa bem? - Sound good?

“Isso seria bom. Obrigado.” - "That would be good. Thank you."

“¿Algo está mal, Zé?” - "Is something wrong, Zé?"

“Está tudo bem, querido.” - "It's fine, honey."