#it feels wrong to me bcs. bisexual has always been there. it has always existed. there is literally no point for a new term but thats

[lylahammar]

(Feel the need to state this up front: I'm bisexual, afab, kinda cis but also kinda trans, nonbinary isn't the word I'd use for myself but... alas, it's the only one people recognize as a general consensus)

I've started to understand why the term sapphic is more appealing to some people, but it still really bothers me as a descriptor/category. When talking to a friend about it (she strongly prefers Sapphic as a term), I started to sus out why:

The vast majority of my initial exposure to the term was always attached to something... aesthetic? Stories or art or music, but of a specific *type*. To the point where it gained a hyperspecific meaning of a period or historical setting, "gay woman trapped in comphet marriage and needs to be saved by bold lesbian", young girls fooling around with girls with no need for commitment because everything is fleeting and nothing is permanent and choices dont matter... on their own, these are perfectly fine narrative choices and are fun to play in sometimes, but they sure start to just seem... repetitive and restrictive and borderline fetishizing. To me, it reads as a term specifying that the love women feel for other women is the only kind allowed, that it's true and pure in a way the love a woman feels for a man isnt, and that her true self can never be realized without admitting she was in love with women since the beginning and was always supposed to be. Achillean gives me the exact same vibe.

On the other hand, my friend feels the term is *less* specific, and to her it allows *more* room for people who don't identify strictly as feminine or as a lesbian, for her it just is a broad umbrella term that allows for any variation of girl-identifying-person who likes girl-identifying-people.

Ultimately, I don't think she's wrong, and I don't know that my interpretation is right. But I think I've been exposed to a.... imma call it a "hyper-aggressive romanticization" of a particular way of existing that just puts me on edge in a way that's hard to explain to people who don't feel the same way about it. I don't think there's anything wrong with romanticizing something like that it's just that... for me, who still identifies as a woman despite being om T, who is married to a cis woman, etc... it feels ironically exclusionary and fetishizing, and mostly feels fantastical and escapist, rather than grounded in anything real.

TL:DR, it feels like a book genre, not a usable term/identifier

Ohhhhh okay I see I wasn't sure if there was something actually problematic about the term that I wasn't aware of, that sounds like it's just a preference based off of the vibes of the way some people use it

honestly I prefer sapphic and achillean because the terms "wlw" and "mlm" are so clunky and hard to say and sound goofy in my brain lmao not to mention the fact that mlm has a separate negative meaning that gets mixed up a lot

and the term "lesbian" is very specific and doesn't apply to all women who are attracted to women

so like....... idk I guess it sucks that some people have given the term sapphic a bad association for some but I'm gonna keep usin it if that's the only reason why bc I don't really care about all that and if ppl know me then they'll be able to tell that I'm not being a weirdo about it lol

[narwhalandchill]

(certain genshin ships w ajax brief negativity lmao like this is gonna b real controversial im sorry. not an attack at anyone just my opinion here be gentle)

obviously disclaimer that if u like the pairings in question im not like canceling or attacking you personally or saying ur wrong for liking it or for not considering the more uhh iffy angle im abt to bring up in terms of how i personally always felt abt these ships, i have mutuals who rb stuff for these sometimes and its just a tag i have blocked its life it happens, im more so just overall commenting on the existence of the pairings to begin w, its not worth the drama its my opinionnn please keep that in mind but yeah

anyway ugh now w like capitano model preload stuff and some of the model comparisons being made (hes slightly bigger than the usual tall male apparently n childes model was used for the comparison) and the shippy comments being made abt it im gonna be honest chief. i do not. like. a single ajax x harbinger pairing like im sorry just how exactly is the age gap (and seniority. and experience. and power imbalance) not processing with ppl when it comes to these at all ??? 😭😭 hes the youngest appointed harbinger canonically and w perueres story we now know that was like. Literally 16 at most for him. and even if that wasnt the case and before it was confirmed. hes still been around the harbingers since he was a teenager bc of being pulcinellas protege idc if its like this convoluted argument of well he wouldnt really interact w them on an interpersonal relationship level before hes a bit older its just still so weird to me i just dont understand how any of these pairings became a thing 💀 like you think not being around him that frequently would stop the usual shipping suspects ppl favor with childe from seeing him as a literal kid either way???

arles literally the one exception here since theyre actually around the same age but those 2 have the ship chemistry of two noble gases JSKSKSLDOSOSKFL (= literally no reaction) . arle is a whole dyke that much is obvious.

like obviously its not like much can be done since pairings like scara are way too popular to be somehow halted on their tracks and the cap stuff will prolly have a resurgence as well now that hes getting a more tangible characterization in natlan but ughhhh. it also sucks bc i think ajax 100% has a crush on cap and its such a peak concept (the guy Absolutely played a part in childes bisexual awakening) but the idea of it being reciprocated on any level whatsoever just feels nasty to me im sorry 😭 my cap would Never its literally on the level of pairing him w skirk to me

also scara always felt strange to me solely based on the fact that he genuinely dislikes ajax lmao like. it feels ooc on principle afshsjsksidk but whens that ever stopped anyone i suppose. it lowkey feels like ppl just wanted a m/m harbinger pairing at any cost 💀 and i suppose scara being an immortal puppet wasnt like known early on so i suppose the ship becoming a thing in like 1.1 is fair enough? but still my current feelings wrt ajax age gap w the harbingers do stand

[aries-rising-on-an-aquarius-tide]

Now that Kelli has been gone for a bit, I feel like I can get this off my chest: Wolf Productions done fucked up.

Not for the first time, and not right from square one. But gosh, what a waste.

Kelli Giddish's Rollins was the only female character with the depth and acting chops behind her on the show since Cabot was a regular. She showed up and was able to go toe to toe with Mariska in carrying episodes - both personally related to her character, or to cases - not to mention had electric chemistry with Benson (sexual or not, take your pick).

With all the flack that SVU had taken over the years for not having a more diverse cast in regards to sexuality, Amanda was the earliest and best opportunity they had to develop a complex, interesting storyline of an adult woman coming to her sexuality late in life. I am not even necessarily the most ravenous Rolivia Shipper out there, but I'm heartbroken that they took Amanda's character over the years into the most boring, obvious, dissatisfying of directions.

I adored Amanda's wild/problematic side. Her episodes with her fighting with Amaro, dealing with her gambling addiction, shooting her sister's ex, or going rogue undercover are my favorite episodes of basically the last 10 yrs of the show. It was so good to finally have someone in the squad who was easier to relate to in a real-world sense. Someone who went to a Big Girl job in the day, but in the off hours was a mess with a rebellious streak.

It was always my hope that they would turn around the storylines where she seemed to chase men that were purposely bad for her, into a realization that it was because she was more emotionally into women. It fits so perfectly with her childhood, her background, and had ready-made holes in existing canon where they could have written it in with ease. (Pretending to be Liv's gf at the sperm bank, the remarks she makes in the episode Plastic, questioning her second pregnancy, etc.)

Instead, they had Carisi mope after her for years, all through the seasons where she showed no interest in him. I lost 50% of my respect for Carisi when he had that sulking tantrum after she fucked the bartender in Intent (a sexist double-standard btw, which would have never flown with fans if it had been Rollins pouting bc Carisi turned her down), and the other 50% after Carisi became ADA, with the writers seeming to then write him as rather victim-blaming.

The biggest irony, in my opinion, is that Dick Wolf complains that giving the fans EO will make the show too 'soap opera-y,' when what he/they did with Rollisi and Kelli's exit was far and away the most soap opera-esque thing they ever wrote! Fuck off with that obvious shit! Oh, the once-troubled blonde who is now straight as an arrow, rides off into the sunset with the Catholic altar boy and trades her powerful feminist position for a 9-5 (don't come for me, there's nothing wrong w being a professor, that's not the point here) and her two kids. Eat all of my ass, Mr. Cis-het, White, Only-Primetime-Billionaire Wolf. 🙄***

To make matters worse, they specifically brought in a POC actress to play a bisexual character, only to write her out as fast as possible for absolutely no discernable reason!?! The utter waste of what they did with Kat Tamin is an equal travesty. Give me Kat waking up in Amanda's bed. Give me Amanda making pancakes for breakfast and Kat carrying the kids to the table. Give me anything but the bullshit, Caucasian tripe that they sold us with Rollisi!!!

*takes deep breath*

And if - IF - the powers that be couldn't think beyond the end of an average-length cock when it came to Rollins, then for the love of all that is holy: her chemistry with Sergeant Khaldun was 1) vastly more believable 2) hotter 3) more diverse as an overall cast option and 4) less cringeworthily obvious.

I have loved SVU since I was 16 yrs old, and even though I gave up watching it around The People v. Richard Wheatley (for reasons unrelated to this specific rant), I still lurk in the background and keep myself vaguely caught up. But it's getting impossible to defend a lot of the choices they have made in the last three or four years. Good talent is so hard to hang onto these days in H'wood, and Dick Wolf seems just as, if not more, determined to fuck up his show as Chris Carter was in the 90s with TXF.

Thanks for coming to my TED Rant. 😮‍💨✌🏻

- HeartEyes4Mariska

***Not to mention the Barisi Shippers got robbed in the process.

[dokjaism]

the fact that the term pansexual has replaced bisexual in different spaces

u know smth i don't like

[johannestevans]

have a lot of feelings about Louis Litt in suits and the way he's treated as a jewish man and how he's like… he is absolutely a dick and he's got a lot of complex and obsessive power things going on

but the specific ways he's emasculated are very much linked to his jewishness

like the way that it's treated as laughable that he should be married or that he should be sexually active, including the way that people react with revulsion at the idea of him dating or having sex, and i remember comments about how hairy he is later on as well

suits is a bit frustrating in that like. i was saying while i was watching it to the polycule that suits is the same sort of trashiness and soapy writing as grey's anatomy, but it's like. For Dudes

and that means that there's no real bisexuality present

and the thing is i do think it would be interesting to read louis as genuinely bisexual because of how that too would be and is linked to the ways in which he's already emasculated, but as it stands, jokes about louis being bisexual or gay are also about his jewish masculinity

and the fact that the facets of that masculinity aren't matched to the goyische expectations thereof, and louis' CONSTANT and continuous feelings of being disrespected, devalued, and generally laughed at - whilst also being hypercompetent and outclassing everyone - is. real.

i love him so much and he genuinely is one of my favourite characters that's ever been on television, i think, he's so layered and he's so tremendously awful, he's a bully, a liar, a manipulator

but he's in the same family as like. martin crieff and arnold rimmer to me

he's like that with everyone because he struggles to trust anybody, and he struggles to trust anybody because he's gone through life feeling like everyone's laughing behind his back and trying to fuck him over - AND HE'S CORRECT TO THINK THAT

but unlike arnold rimmer (whose disrespect is linked to his terrible (nay incestuosus) abuse by his mother and abuse from the rest of his family, not to mention his own latent sexual issues) or martin crieff (whose problems come from his working class background and classism)

louis litt's issues DON'T come from particular abuse by his family or loved ones, and what's infuriating to him is that he is of an economic class cohort with many of those around him - whilst harvey specter, for example? ISN'T

esp bc i don't think harvey's ever like. portrayed as or defined as jewish - i know specter is a surname among ashkenazim, but whether he's jewish or a goy i don't think he's read as Obviously Jewish in the way that Louis is

there's a sense in him of like. what makes me wrong? what am i doing incorrectly? why do people automatically view me as so slimy or untrustworthy, even when i'm trying to be genuine? esp given that he's put alongside daniel hardman who's introduced as jewish from the get go

idk suits is weird because it's a show set in new york, and i actually really like how it presents and explores jewish masculinities in the show because i don't actually see many shows that delve into it with so much, you know, depth? even in other new york jewish guys

like it has jewish creators and you can TELL, there's so few shows that really play with and portray these themes - so many shows have like. 1 or 2 jewish bit characters as a joke or a vague "WOW, CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY EXIST?" about like, frum jews

whereas like. i can't think of any piece of media other than Deep Cover (1992) which i'm of course ALWAYS obsessing over and talking about when it comes to like. exploring different racialised masculinities in late 20th century us america

[raz-writes-the-thing]

extremely late to the pair up thingy but in case you'll feel like doing it again sometime:

1. the first time I tried to write a book I was six and couldn't reliably write readable letters yet, so I dictated it to my mother. the whole thing quickly failed because she criticised the "book" content in ways that offended me lol

2. I treat the coffee maker I got for my eighteenth birthday like a beloved family pet (I do also have a dog)

3. I have always been oddly chill about both my sexuality and gender despite growing up in a pretty homophobic country and environment. the first time I got a crush on anyone was a male fictional character and then my first irl crush was a girl when I was like 11 and I was like oh so I'm into both girls and boys!! cool!! I wasn't worried or confused at all despite the fact that I didn't even know the word bisexual existed, had never seen any gay rep and the only time I'd heard about homosexuality was in the same breath with pedophilia, zoophilia and necrophilia. When the cleric in my church said being gay is wrong I just stopped going to church. My reaction to finding out nonbinary people existed went: "omg that's so cool and relatable I wish that was me but unfortunately it's impossible to have two different types of queer :(((" -> "oh wait great news!!!" and now I'm fully out to all my irl friends and my mother (she was homophobic abt it but is mostly used to me now) + out as pan to my father and grandma. I permanently have both a pan and an enby pin on my school backpack. I have "crossdressed" in very public places on uncountable occasions. this level of idgaf is especially baffling to me because I am a coward when it comes to literally everything else

- 🌒

okay, first up- look at us twins go (i also figured out i was bi bc one day i was watching orange is the new black and then saw Nicki- my wife- w Lorna and i was like "would i date a girl? yes? oh okay im bi" and that was the end of it. same w my gender i was like "do i like being referred to as a he? yes? oh okay im gf nice") but anyway onto your pairing...

i would pair you with... River from DW

River is a ray of sunshine. She knows just what to say to keep you in high spirits, and she knows when to let you feel. She claims to be a cat person but the way she treats your dog has you a little unsure. She's non-judging and happy to refer to you however you please whenever you please. When you introduce her as your partner she always melts for you.

(She will also refer to your coffee machine as her adopted child and treat it as such).

[sasubaeuchithot]

Hey :) Hope u doing well! I would love ur insight on writing Naruto or rather Naruto's acceptance of his bisexuality. Don't get me wrong (love that for him) but I always imagined him idk I wouldn't say that he has internalized homophobia in canon but that he's either too oblivious to even get that he's attracted to boys (always imagining him thinking that a certain boy is sooo cool or "even prettier than a girl" - especially Sasuke ofc) or him being scared to come out because of his craving for acceptance and affection from ppl (villagers, friends etc). Obviously this doesn't mean that ur wrong or something like that :D KH Naruto is canon to me! I never read a fic where Naruto feels so natural like KH Naruto. But yeah, I'm really interested in what you think :)

You are such a talented writer! <3

you know, i had been fully prepared for that to have been something I would have to address at some point in the narrative, but it just never naturally occurred ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. i think it was a mixture of how slowly things between them progressed combined with naruto not really being the kind of person who reflects back on his actions like that. i always joke that i dont think Naruto has an internal dialog, and what I mean by that is that he exists so solely in the present, doing what his heart wants in the moment, that he rarely questions why he does what he does or how each specific action he does could affect the future (this is paralleled with how Sasuke rarely ever lives in the present, always flopping between analyzing the past and shaping his future).

so when these moments between them happen, Naruto doesn't really have the kind of brain that asks why or what does this mean. he goes off of his first instinct. the first moment between them was another accidental kiss, which we see him react very similarly to how he did in Sasuke's introductory chapter- he acts grossed out. you can view it as internalized homophobia, which i do see a bit of, but for me I always viewed it as the fact that it was Sasuke, whom he had such a conflated opinion on pinning him as his rival. he hated sasuke- or so he told himself. likewise with the sai moment we get in canon, which always felt like a mixture of internalized homophobia and the fact that it was sai.

but the moments with Sasuke keep coming, and Naruto just never put any thought into them at all. he acts on his instinct, which tells him that he actually really likes kissing sasuke so like you should keep kissing sasuke bc it's really nice kissing sasuke. he admits to thinking other guys are hot, because he does, but he never had the thought to question what that meant about his own sexuality. he just never reflected on it, so it never came up as a plot point that affected the narrative at all. hell, in Sakura's pov in kizuna shiten he was shocked to hear her call sasuke his boyfriend, and that was months after the events of his birthday. I'm sure if at some point during the early chapters some external source put it to actual words for him and forced him to confront the fact that he's sexually attracted to guys, he would have had a bit of a crisis. but because no one did and things between him and sasuke moved so slowly that by the time we get to the end of the original fic, he rates the intimacy with sasuke too highly to have any negative reaction to the fact that it makes him queer. honestly I'm not convinced that even by the end of shiten does naruto realize that he's not heterosexual lmaooooooo

i wonder how long he'll go before he realizes. i kinda wanna wait until the epilogue of the sequel to give him that revelation solely for the meme of it all. i definitely know I won't but the thought of how funny it would be is very tempting

[girlvinland]

I had this post saved in my drafts for a while and originally had put all my thoughts in the tags but I felt like maybe it wasn't really my place to do that since I don't ID as ace, but I still kind of connected with the post on other levels and wanted to write things out somehow.

It made me start reflecting on how I've always related highly to having feelings of gender detachment even though (or maybe especially because) I was really shoehorned into this feminine mold as a kid, which felt confusing and stupid (and tbh I'm sure a lot of people feel like heavily gendered things are confusing and stupid, even if they don't otherwise think about gender very much).

But that kind of thing eventually started to confuse me too about my sexuality and my role in romantic/sexual relationships. I couldn't understand why it was drilled into me that I needed to conceptualize a future where I was meant to be a Wife orbiting a Husband and do all the things that entailed/get on the traditional heterosexual relationship escalator (there’s never been a point in time when I identified as straight bc I assumed myself to be bisexual early on, but the idea still always felt so weird). Even in relationships where traditional gender roles weren’t very prominent, I still had this revulsion in me that just kind of sat there bc I didn’t know what to do about it.

It wasn't until I started really accepting more about what I desired wrt romance/sex and applying it to how I saw my gender that I was like ohhh. It makes sense that x and y and z never mattered to me or felt so wrong even when I tried hard to fit them. It makes sense that I wanted to embody qualities that didn't match the mold I was "supposed" to fit, especially when for a long period I didn't really have the freedom or knowledge to explore how or why. I thought I was just weird and broken somehow tbh, and that if I tried hard enough, I could just squish myself into the mold. And I definitely did try that, only to end up kind of spilling out of it.

Anyway, I know sexuality and gender aren't fully tied together for everyone, but it was something that helped me a lot I think, especially knowing now how much gender nonconformity has always been an aspect of how a lot of people who aren't straight exist and experience the world.

But yeah. Idk, it's frustrating how society makes it so hard to figure out how gender and sexuality might intersect for you, even if it means you don't really connect with either or both of them, and especially when you grow up with little to no or only negative representation of anything that goes against the grain. And even though the initial post was about people on the ace spectrum and I can't speak on that experience at all, I feel like I can empathize with the confusion about these things.

[quodekash]

tis friday night, aka the third night in a row im staying up past midnight for a bl and its gonna be like this for the next five weeks so id better get used to the exhaustion (send help), aka ABAAB NIGHT LETS GOOO

threezo my lovelies pls exist this episode

did he get prettier over the last week or did i just forget what he looks like

bc either way this man is very pretty

suspector #1

suspector #2

jack as a gossip icon was a pleasant surprise in this show but im living for it

bro there so tender with each other im gonna cry

i think i forgot what everyone looked like cos every single character feels 10x prettier than they already were (and everyone was already at optimum pretty) and i love it

i love how much more casual gun has become with his employees, it makes me happy

BOY

MY BOY

MY BOY WITH THE EYEBROWS

HELLO DRAKE HOW ARE YOU ON THIS FINE FRIDAY (typing this out at literally 11:59pm so its still friday)

okay its now wednesday but HOW ARE YOU DRAKA SATTABUT LAEDEKE, ILY

his luscious eyebrows are furrowed

in anger

he is angry

ah shoot pls chill bro

MY BOYS THREEZO HELLO

hell yes flashback time, lets get a good insight into the characters so that we can aggressively analyse them later

they always looks so comfy with each other what the hell

bRO you fell asleep ON THE BEACH?? what if high tide had caught up to them? they wouldve drowned in their sleep

nice visual (but soundwin did it first btw)

there are people already swimming.

these people walked past these two grown-ass men sleeping on the sand on the beach, fast asleep, in formal button-up shirts, where theyd clearly been all night. and no one said anything.

you can do it you luscious locked lovely boi, i believe in you

(you thought you were free from the obsession of the hair but you were WRONG, his hair is now and forever and always and all of time)

im just now noticing his earrings, that's awesome

the hair look at the hair look at his hair i love his hair

FLUFFY FLUFFY HAIR

THREEZOTHREEZO

i love them i love them i love them i love them

THE LAYERS TO THIS

HIS SERIOUS EXPRESSION

SAYING 'MY BOYFRIEND ZO' INSTEAD OF JUST ZO, SO THAT EVERYONE KNOWS THEYRE DATING JUST IN CASE ANYONE FORGOT

AND KNOWING ZO'S FAVOURITE RJIDGFNRN

absolutely he does

IM DYING

i freaking love jack so much

he knows what's going on between them. and he loves and appreciates and accepts it, but he's been getting so much pressure from the other workers to talk to cher because theyre friends, and he doesnt want to invade but he doesn't want anything bad to happen to either his friend or his boss

why is the man so pretty

i genuinely dont understand it, this man and his hair are so pretty

"i used to have a lover too. i know how painful it is to lose someone." BRO WHAT THE HELL??? WE WERE NOT TOLD THIS INFORMATION, PLEASE EXPAND UPON THIS

snack is good. yummy nom noms. eat them eat them you eat them and then poop them out yum yum yum

i need to go to bed

i love him probably too much

BISEXUAL SITTING??

noooo we barely got any threezo todayyy (if i were more awake id be outraged by this but im having trouble just keeping my head up so i'll get to that anger in the morning)

im surprised we didnt get a sponsorship for cleaning gun's punch wound

anyway ive been on the verge of falling asleep this whole episode so im gonna go to sleep now and hopefully catch up on three days of not-enough-sleep

goodnight folks!

[doctorhuh]

hiya! first, love the podcast and both of your senses of humor. second, i recently got to the part in your magician's apprentice ep where you suggest the clara/jane austen kissing comment was "something for the fellas," which seems like a continuation of the other times you two have been (not unjustifiably) critical of a lot of the portrayal of queer chars on DW, and i wanted to offer an alternate perspective - not in a "you're wrong and i'm mad at you" way, just in a "here's a perspective to think about if you'd like to" way. also, i'm not expecting a response (in fact, i think i'd find one embarrassing bc of how long this is) or for y'all to change, just tossing this out there

for context, i got into doctor who as a middle schooler at the beginning of my realizing-i-was-bi-and-nonbinary-in-a-homophobic-household journey. and as a result, jack harkness was Important to me. in fact, i think there's a poll that went around tumblr a month ago where 12% of this site's userbase said doctor who was the first place they saw an earnest depiction of a queer char. jack does plays into bi stereotypes, but he still has depth and likability, and i think that's more important than deciding he doesn't fuck, esp in 2005. plus, he and torchwood were created by rtd who is himself gay, so i'm willing to cut him some slack

i agree that the vastra/jenny "actually, she's my WIFE" exchange is mostly moffat looking for praise, but that scene was also Important to me as a closeted kid who could only fantasize about being so open about my sexuality. and last year, i /did/ get a little thrill when i was getting a haircut and the hairdresser (who /did/ give off homophobic vibes) asked me after my Person left, "are you two sisters?" and i could say no

regarding clara, my view of moffat's misogyny in writing DW has always been "he /is/ aware that a lot of the audience is women and kids and when he thinks to, he does write to those ppl, he's just also infected with the views-women-as-lesser parasite and doesn't make enough conscious choices to battle it." if you'd asked me if clara's bisexuality was /for/ any particular audience segment, i'd say i'd never thought about that before, but if it was for anyone, it was probably for the queer girls. i esp feel that way bc she's followed by bill (and yaz, though that wasn't moffat's doing). i also like that clara said that in front of her class! it's nice to see a teacher char be open about her bisexuality bc of how social reactionaries often rush to "think of the children!" and criticizing schools and teachers as their first line of offense. plus, gay teachers were my rocks in high school, and i loved hearing about their lives bc it made my own future feel more solid

in sum, if the metric for a portrayal of a queer char is "was this scene written thoughtfully and to make queer audience members seem seen?" what might seem cringey and forced to one queer person could feel very affirming to another. i think due to DW's intended younger audience, things fall into the affirming bin more often than expected, and i think they're also /intended/ to be affirming more often than expected. i'd be as annoyed as hell by all these scenes if i saw them for the first time today, but i remain glad they exist for the good they did for kids back then and (who knows?) maybe still today

have a good night!

Hiya! Thank you for the thoughtful message! I will say I do totally get what you're saying. In fact, I remember being a closeted queer teen in the 2010s and I felt the exact same way. I thought it was super cool to see a bisexual character on TV, and I remember when the 11th Doctor would have throwaway lines about, yknow, romances with other men or whatever I thought that was pretty cool too. I loved Jack back in the day! It's certainly not my place to tell a person that they're not valid for appreciating representation! I think any kid who saw something relatable or inclusive in DW is a big win. I do still feel like looking back and watching it as an adult with more context; we can get a sense that it could've been better! A lot of it reflected attitudes towards LGBTQ+ people from 10-20 years ago, that I think we've largely moved past. I feel like there's nothing inherently wrong *or* invalidating about pointing that kinda stuff out. With regards to Moffat specifically, I get frustrated with Moffat because I think we're all in agreement that we can do better than him to write representation, yeah? Moffat is very "tell don't show" about his characters' queerness in a way that I find personally frustrating. If Clara is bisexual, that's awesome!! I'd love for Moffat to have shown us this instead of just an offhand line about it. His track record is just really bad (anyone who has seen Sherlock can attest to this lol). That's why we are always kind of feeling like his inclusion of LGBTQ+ representation comes across in bad faith (i.e. queerbaiting, using queerness as setup/punchline, or just kinda trying to score points from the progressive viewers).

I'd add that I do think there's been some great LGBTQ+ representation on DW in the past and present. I can't be the only one who loved to see Donna being the parent of a happy, thriving nonbinary trans person. That brought me a lot of joy to see on my screen in a time that is SO fucking hostile for trans people (transfeminine people in the UK in particular have it really bad). More of that please, Rusty. Lastly, I should say our show puts us at a disadvantage by design in terms of good faith criticism, because we're literally not watching the show in a way that makes sense. So a lot of stuff we're saying is basically watching the show completely devoid of context and we're just trying to have a bit of fun and share our thoughts; I do think we've ate dirt on this 1000 times over it's part of the fun when our listeners get mad because we were just Completely Wrong. Like what the hell happens in the Zygon Inversion?? Or Heaven Sent?? We don't know but everyone is mad because we didn't have that context. I really disliked Clara and got at totally different read on her, now I'm much more cool with her as a character. If there's stuff we're missing that's kind of part of the fun. At the end of the day we're just two goobers with microphones trying to have a bit of fun and you're ten billion percent allowed to disagree with everything we say about DW. Also not to like, shill, or anything but if you ever want to discuss this stuff with us directly, our discord link is in every episode. You can join the chorus of listeners who get mad at us every week jkjk. Thank you for the thoughtful ask! I hope that clears up at least my own feelings on it a little bit. -Jordan

[bigskydreaming]

Let alone representation that we could admit to watching, in terms of LGBTQ+ rep specifically. When I was in high school, there were no kids that were out whatsoever (Matthew Shepard died my freshman year of high school, and every former classmate who also came out after we graduated unanimously agreed that like, yeah, the jokes and reactions of most of our classmates that year were 100% what made the idea of coming out pretty much a non-starter as long as we were in high school), and of course I wasn't out at home either.

So it was that thing where I was like, I couldn't get caught watching something like Will & Grace - even though tons of my classmates watched it solely to make fun of it, in the vein of oh of course we're laughing, its a sitcom, but with specific jokes about WHY it was so funny that always kept gay people as a concept centered as the punchline. But it was mostly the girls in our class who watched it, and sometimes their boyfriends that they made watch it with them or whatever, and I didn't date much in HS bc I genuinely didn't know (well, believe) bisexuality was a thing until college and so I spent most of my teenage years convinced I was gay and just REALLY good at convincing myself I was attracted to girls in an effort to lie to myself about being straight, so like. LOL. Other than the big 'events' like Homecoming and Prom where you attracted more attention by not going, especially if you were on any of the sports teams or had any kind of popularity at all, I didn't do much dating beyond that.

Anyway, point is, there was no real way for me (in my mind) to 'justify' watching something like W&G if anyone asked why I was watching it, so I had this weird kinda jealousy about listening to the classmates who had no reason to feel threatened or unsafe by watching it, like, talk about it and what happened on it but only in the interest of trashing it. (And there was this one girl in my class who would make a point to ask 'suspected to be in the closet' guys if they'd watched a W&G episode and she was NOT subtle, like AT all, so while it could've just been closet paranoia, for me it definitely reinforced the idea that this show was a no-fly zone for me and would remain so for the foreseeable future).

But more mainstream or widely watched shows where gay characters showed up in minor roles, like Friends - those were 'safe,' so any time I heard anyone complaining about one of their favorite shows being ruined with gay shit and having a gay character or storyline added because of political correctness....I was like, okay cool, THAT I can add to the list and nobody has to know that I only started watching it BECAUSE of the gay storyline everyone else is complaining about.

Which of course meant the only other reactions or responses I was aware of, when it came to these characters and storylines, were from the classmates or friends/family who hated their very existence for distracting from or ruining their shows - so there was never really even a question of judging or rating how 'good' or 'bad' the actual representation was (at least not then, though I definitely had opinions later on in life, looking back on them in hindsight). Embracing the mere existence of those characters and storylines was a kind of defiance towards the homophobia that was the de facto critique everyone else had towards them, so like, at the time, trying to judge or rate the quality of the representation didn't even occur to me as a possibility. It was a moot point. Gay characters either exist in a show or they don't, and if they exist, well then, I stan.

(Fun fact: the only other closeted guys I was aware of when I was in HS, I 'picked up on' not because of some generalized conception of gaydar so much as just noticing which of my teammates or classmates were actually paying attention to the gay characters/storylines in popular TV shows. Like most of the other kids making jokes about them or complaining about them would get details wrong all the time, because they weren't actually WATCHING those characters or stories when they were onscreen, so they usually got as much wrong as they got right, when trash talking them with specifics. I remember one teammate I only clocked as in the closet when he piped up to correct someone else about what a gay character had done in the last episode of Undressed - an MTV anthology show, dunno if you remember it - anyway....he covered by being like 'no, no, it was actually even GAYER than what you were saying, he did this and this and this' and just adding on to the joke, but the fact that he'd paid enough attention to get the details right was the giveaway. He was actually my first kiss with a guy, lol. Though that was like months later, after I felt sure enough about him to risk feeling him out. The talk about that Undressed ep was just my first real clue.

Then senior year, Smallville came out and was popular with most guys in school, so it became a LOT easier to clock each other based on who studiously avoided looking at certain promo posters the show used a lot in Season One. Wonder if Tom Welling has any idea how many closeted gay and bi jocks he helped get laid those first couple seasons, lol).

But yeah. Anyway, random trip down memory lane, lmao. Trying to remember which shows I did watch in high school and which I avoided. Off the top of my head:

The Real World - watched as much as possible, though it did NOT help with the whole 'actually, bisexuality IS real and you're NOT just trying to fake your way to straightness' thing in certain seasons.

Melrose Place - was on my radar but I didn't WATCH it as it wasn't a show guys my age were admitting to watching. My mom and sister watched it though so I'd catch an episode or two under the guise of studying in the same room.

Beverly Hills 90210 - didn't watch often, as it wasn't typically a 'guys' show, but it was a big enough cultural phenomenon that it wasnt TOO weird to watch an ep or two of it. And if they just happened to be the few eps that had gay characters well. Coincidence!

Friends - Yup. Mainstream enough to not be a real problem.

Party of Five - tried to watch it more often than I did, again, not something anyone talking TV in the locker room was going to admit to watching, but as long as you had sisters who you complain about hogging the TV, didn't draw too much attention.

Spin City - Yup. Sitcom that skewed towards older audiences, but Charlie Sheen was popular enough that it wasn't attention-attracting to watch it often, even if you were only tuning in for the gay black guy everyone else made fun of.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Yup. Genre stuff was pretty much always safe.

Oz - YUP. This was trickier to watch at home with parents who were leery of its reputation cuz of the adult content, but plenty popular with guys at school cuz of how edgy it was, so it wasnt hard to find ways to keep up with it. The fact that Oz and its take on male sexuality was one of my biggest media influences as a teen led to unlearning a loooooot of stuff later.

Will & Grace - Nope. Here lay danger.

Sex and the City - was aware of its gay characters but it was not considered even close to being a 'safe' option.

Dawson's Creek - wanted to watch it, but despite its popularity it was VERY derided as a girls' show in ways even BH 90210 and Party of Five weren't. Ahh, misogyny's compounding effect on homophobia, particularly internalized homophobia. Fellow gay and bi guys, this is why solidarity with wlw is so critical. Most everything that made the closet as shitty and necessary as it often felt, started with misogyny and only weaseled its way into homophobia from there! Anyway, it was one of those unspoken things that if you were a guy and your sisters turned this on, you go do something else. Teen guys in the 90s one hundred percent believed this show had cooties.

Queer As Folk - Hahahahahahaahahahahahahaha no. I didn't watch this until YEARS later. I didn't even risk looking up anything about this show online, at home or at school.

Undressed - watched as much as possible, was pretty much the go-to for a closeted gay or bi guy who wanted to see gay or bi guys on TV, particularly in romantic and sexual situations. Much like the Real World though, did not do my early views of bisexuality (and whether or not it was even 'real') aaaaaaany favors.

Dark Angel - Watched as much as possible. Again, genre stuff was always safe. Original Cindy, my beloved fave, that show did not deserve you!

Xena - Again, I consider this LGBTQ+ fare and watched it for Xena and Gabrielle's dynamic. I just told everyone else I was watching it because Lucy Lawless kicking people and flipping around with a sword.

Aaaaaanyway. Goodbye closet. Goodbye 90s. Goodbye being a teenage boy in a conservative Catholic community. I do not miss aaaaaany of you.

@doublel27 I can never think about Friends without thinking of how wild it is that they wrote Susan having an absolutely on point and totally accurate view of (and disdain for) Ross, all while writing that as her being a mean old lesbian. I think that was probably my first instance of media being like "and this character is RIGHT but we still want you the audience to side against them because that side has the straight white guy who is sad."

[wheeier]

trust me

summary: steve coming out to you as bisexual :)

warnings: fluff !! nervous steve, maybe emotional reader bc that would be me

i got teary-eyes writing this but yeah anyways

bisexual!steve harrington x fem!reader

steve had been thinking about it for three months now. at first he didn't believe it – thinking it's not real and he's just insane, because all he know is boys like girls, and girls like boys. poor boy doesn't even know that the word bisexual actually exists. but after robin came out to him as lesbian almost a year ago, maybe the feeling he has was right this entire time. he isn't crazy as he think he is.

steve decided to talk to robin about the situation, since she knows better about this than anyone else.

"i just don't know why you won't tell her," robin says as she puts phoebe cates' standee in place, scrunching her face at her friend, who was visibly stressed out about the current situation. "(y/n) obviously loves you and will accept you no matter what. hell, she's like, head over heels for you. anyone can tell if they see you two together." she finishes as she walks near the boy.

steve lets out a huff, "i know she loves me, i do too. but i'm still scared." he says quietly, thinking anyone would hear, although they were about to close the store and no one was around except them two.

"that's fine. you know, i was so afraid to tell you about me, too. but you've gained my trust, dingus. and you're stuck with me for life." robin pats his shoulder as a way of her saying that his feeling is totally valid and also a way of her saying thank you.

trust. it's a big word for steve. he had trusted so many people in his life, but most of them betrayed and hurt him. he already lost the person he once truly loved and trust, nancy wheeler. it hurt him so much, like someone took his glass heart and dropped it, stomped on it, destroyed it in a thousand pieces.

he doesn't know if he can handle it if he loses you too.

"i'm just- what if she gets upset? what if she runs away?" steve turned his head to robin with a terrified face. "then it's her loss. you're an amazing person, steve. although you're a dumbass most of the time." steve lightly punched her shoulder, making her laugh.

"in all seriousness, just tell (y/n) what you feel when you're ready. i'm sure she won't do anything that would hurt you. i'm telling you she loves you more than anything you could ever think of."

—

a week after that conversation with robin, he was finally sure about what he is and what he likes.

the phone ringing from the living room caught your attention right after you put the pancakes on the plate. "it's just 7 in the morning, who the hell calls this early?" you muttered to yourself.

he immediately felt bad when he heard your frustrated 'hello' on the other line. "babe, hey. good morning, i'm sorry if i interrupted you or anything." you smiled upon hearing his voice. "hey, it's fine, don't worry about it. what made you call this early?" you asked as you sat on the floor. "i..i need to tell you something, but not here on the phone. i wanna tell it in person." you could tell that his voice was mixed with seriousness and anxiousness, which made you assume the worst.

"oh, okay. um.. are you gonna come here? i just made pancakes, i know you love those." you suggested, glancing back at the table as the smell of the pancake filled the house.

steve agreed and told you he would be there in a few minutes so you prepared breakfast for him and prepared some orange juice.

as expected, steve came ringing the doorbell and you fixed your hair a bit before opening the door. you half-expected him to look smiley and happy, but it was different. you stepped aside to let him in and shut the door.

"what is it that you wanted to tell me?" you said calmly, almost comforting that made steve melt. you brushed a strand of his hair away from his face and rest your hand on his cheek. "can we..sit?" he mutters quietly and you nodded.

you intertwined your fingers with his and dragged him to the kitchen where his favorite breakfast lays. he sat beside you, not saying any words. his heart was beating so fast and he's sure that you can practically hear it.

"everything okay?" you asked after putting the pancakes on your plate. you were starting to get nervous, thinking it's really that serious. "how..where do i even begin with this.. uh.." steve started mumbling to himself, you placed your hand on his forearm, letting him know that he can trust you.

steve let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding. "you know you can tell me anything, right? whatever that is, you can trust me." he stared into your eyes, searching for any hint of lie – but there weren't any.

he slightly nodded before looking around but you. "i like you, i mean, of course i do, you're my girlfriend. jesus, uh.. you know i love you, right?"

"yeah," your voice was quiet, unable to speak clearly because of the loud beating of your heart, but at least he admitted that he actually loves you. "yeah. of course."

steve took a deep breath, having the courage to look at your eyes. "before i say it, if you get mad i totally get it, but i hope you won't be. i just, don't wanna lose y-"

"steve?"

"-yeah?"

"just get to the point, please. i promise i won't be mad." you gave him a reassuring smile, and he returened you one.

"promise?"

"promise."

there was a few seconds of silence before he speaks again. "..i like girls. and.." he started, and you made a confused face. "and..i'm pretty sure i'm attracted to..guys, too." his voice trails off but you were able to catch it. he started to panic when you didn't say anything.

he looks down on his palm, picking his nails like he used to when he's anxious. "robin said it's called bisexual, at first i didn't know what it means but now i'm sure that i am that. and i've been thinking about that in the last three months but i didn't know how to tell you, because.. i was scared that you will leave me," his voice almost broke and when he had the courage, he looked back into your eyes. "but just know that i love you so much and if you don't love me anym–" he was interrupted with your hug, slowly letting out a sob which made him worry.

"(y/n)?" he was relieved when you looked up with a smile, sniffing as you let go of him. "sorry, this should be your moment, i just got carried away." you slightly laughed as you wiped your tears. he didn't say anything, he just looked at you, waiting for an answer.

"steve harrington, what made you think that i would ever leave you?" you held his hands with yours, drawing circles using your thumb to help him relax.

"you're not-"

"mad? no, of course not." you shook your head in disagreement. "why would i be mad at you? in fact, i am so so proud of you," you rest your hands on either side of his cheeks, his eyes still wide. "i know it's hard for you to do this but you did it, you're brave, and.. that's one of the things why i love you too." the tears went back to your eyes, "and i am glad that you did this, it means so much to me because i know that you trust me."

you sniffed, then let out a shaky breath. "i have no reason to be mad at you, steve. there's literally no reason. nothing will change. i'm still (y/n), your girlfriend and you're still steve, the love of my life and the one i would marry someday." steve smiled at your words and was about to make a joke about it, but stopped himself because he doesn't wanna ruin the moment.

"you became true to yourself and accepted it. there's nothing wrong with that." at this point you didn't care about the tears in your eyes, because he was crying too.

when he didn't say anything you just wiped his warm tears and pulled him for a hug, which he returned this time. "i love you so much, steve. more than anything you could ever think of."

his mind recalls the time when he talked to robin — when she said the same exact thing, and she was right.

"me too. i love you."

you were the first one to pull away from the hug that seemed like hours. "hey, stop crying now because i'll cry even more. i'm an emotional mess, remember?" you both laughed at your comment as he wiped your tear-stained cheek. you were glad to hear his laugh again, that laugh that you always admired. "okay." he chuckles as he nods, wiping his own tears too.

he turned to the table, ready to eat the now-cold pancakes you made. you remembered he even said that it doesn't taste the same if it wasn't you who cooked it.

once you both finished eating breakfast and cleaned the table, you headed back to the living room, prepared the movie ferris bueller's day off and he sits beside you, lower than usual so that your chin reaches the top of his head. you notice him look up at you, so you tilted your head down to see. "what?" you grin.

steve quirked an eyebrow, remembering your words from earlier. "so you're gonna marry me someday, huh?" he teased, but he knows you were serious. "no, actually. that was just for show." you rolled your eyes jokingly while a smile was visibly showing on your lips. "of course, dummy. there's no other person in the world that i would want to marry but you." when he smiled, you planted a kiss on his forehead before continuing to watch the movie.

you wrap your arm around his shoulder as you brush his hair with your other hand and not even an hour yet, he was already sound asleep in your arms.

[transsexualhamlet]

asmr i psychoanalyze hide for fun

a lot of these are just stupid headcanons but a lot are also how i feel that’s just the way he is so

I know no one will read this it’s so very long but hello he’s my comfort character

(the words are under the cut bc THERE ARE SO MANY WORDS)

thoughts: It’s funny because most of the characters that I really love are just fucking idiots. So stupid. No thoughts head empty. And like at first glance you’d think the same with Hide, he’s got the look of a real dumbass, but he’s actually a really smart person? He just kind of, hides it. He did say he was like allergic to books once (it’s the adhd, king) but that doesn’t change the fact that he emotionally is actually a very intelligent person. It’s something he’s humble about because I don’t believe he really identifies with the intellectual crowd or sees himself as particularly above average, he just finds it easy to understand things. And he doesn’t ever use it for his own advantage even when it would be totally fine to do so, he pretty much always uses it to help other people and I think he believes if he used his strengths to help himself it would be, like, selfish. Which is a problem of his.

gemder n brand of gay: A lot of people in yonder Fandom like to see kaneki as bi and hide as gay but nah fam you’re off. Honestly I do not care about his Date With Rize in the slightest, that man is a homosexual. Hide is the bi one. (it’s not like this is a requirement or anything lmao i am just Saying also i’m bi and i’m projecting) I can also say with confidence that date with Rize was the only date Kaneki’s ever been on and he was definitely lying to himself. (i just, don’t know how you could look at Haise specifically and for one second think he has ever seen a boob) Hide’s the one who’s probably dated people before and he actually knows what’s attractive, he probably just doesn’t discuss that a lot with Kaneki since the bitch is Closeted and hide knows this. It’s funny because Hide canonically has two dads. Like I think that kind of explains him tbh. Bitch has good parents??? He’s the only one but we love him for it. U know Kaneki spent more of his life at Hide’s house than his own.

And as to gender, like obviously hide’s a guy, but i think he’s one of the few cisgenders who could like... tell you why. He’s well versed in those kinds of issues and has just thought about it a lot I guess? He’s comfortable in his skin and with a conventionally masculine appearance but he could tell you what Boy TM means other than yo macho man dude bro guy

personality type- ENFP-T: I took the fucking test for him and it was like... so easy. Took me ten minutes. 

basically what this means is it just calls him out as a fucken loud ass sunshine boy who has very many emotion and cares way too much about his friend

love how this part of the description describes kaneki and hide perfectly

biggest strength: he’s so good at helping people?? Like I can honestly say if some random person started rambling about their relationship issues to him I’d give him 10 minutes before he had a perfect solution, he had the person crying and being comforted in just the right way. He’s the perfect medium of confident and caring and he’s not just a fucking ray of sunshine on accident, he’s like, mob psycho 100 style actively working to be nice and compassionate. He’s very aware of how his actions affect people and he always knows just the right thing to say, what to do, when to just let things go or when to say them. And Hide will forgive, literally anything, even if someone does something really shitty to him he’ll realize it’s the product of like, unresolved mental issues or something and seek to fix it instead of cutting the person off. It’s... really good for everyone around him. But well,,, not great for him, see below.

biggest weakness: bitch does nOT leave room for himself. Although he is generally a confident person and isn’t very insecure, he knows he’s giving too much of himself and simply ‘pretend i do not see it but in reality i do’. He’s never put himself first and feels more worthy when he makes someone else happy, and it’s really not that visible but it can take a pretty big toll on him. He’ll feel anger and frustration for his problems but eventually he will end up blaming himself for anything that goes wrong and will just resolve to Try Harder. (which, mood) He does problem solve well and he tries to come up with the best solutions to issues but the fact is he just does not prioritize his own happiness within those solutions. He gives too much and it’s fucking killing him.

what he likes most about himself: Although he does have issues obviously, I don’t see Hide as someone who has particularly low esteem of himself. I think he pretty much thinks he has himself figured out and therefore other people’s problems come first. He generally does, think fondly of himself, because most of the time he can fix people’s problems so he’s yknow, a good person. I think he likes his ability to enjoy life and live in the moment, and he likes his connections and friendships with other people. He values emotional connection and he likes that he can easily create and enjoy good vibes. He loves being the one who everyone just... goes to for a good time.

favorite things: I think I heard somewhere that he enjoys dumb american bands without really understanding what they’re saying which seems very on brand for him, but I’m gonna perscribe him some other stuff too. Obviously he likes bright colors and comic books, and places where he can have fun with other people. He generally likes college, even though it’s like, school, and unlike kaneki he actually had a good childhood and he enjoys the places he spent time and formed good memories, he has Nostalgia TM (see unbelievable by owl city hmmm he vibes to that he was born in 1996 or something right i can’t google things) he also just really likes to just, fix other people’s problems but we’ve covered that. 

what he’s doing right and what he’s doing wrong: Hide is doing his best. He’s no less flawed than any of the other characters in tokyo ghoul, it’s just that his strategies tend to involve 100% less murder. Ok no, let me rephrase that, Hide is flawed, but i meant like emotionally, he’s not a war criminal like everyone else. He may seem at first glance like, just, perfect? Sorry for being a simp lmao but I feel like from the outside he’s just got it all together right? He knows what he’s doing and he’s super nice and helpful and smart and humble and just doesn’t have any visible flaws? He... tends to hide any evidence that he would ever be struggling. And that’s not very sexy of him. He feels it would be a burden on others to show pain or ever say he can’t take something on (if someone asked him to do something he’d do it even if he was already mentally at capacity etc) and that’s something he needs to work on. The good thing is that if they got to a point where after Kaneki’s Character Development they got to just... like, be happy and not be separated and everything Kaneki would be good for him because he compliments that. Hide helps him because he needs a lot of like, mental counseling lmao but now that Kaneki’s gone through a lot of that his eyes have been opened more to the fact that Hide hides his problems from Kaneki so if they could just bE HAPPY this is an issue that could be resolved

insecurities: I think Hide kind of believes he’s not allowed to be sad. Cause it’s like, not his job. He’s the source of happiness for everyone else, supposed to have everything together so he can fix everyone else’s problems. he’s not allowed to be in pain or feel bad for himself even though he knows “Boys Can Cry” it’s like, yes boys can cry, not me tho haha lmao it’s not about his masculinity it’s just he’s like “yeah but kaneki’s had it worse” so like if he finds himself in a bad place, he feels inadequate and like... fundametally broken. and it’s. Like. I felt that but also like king that’s not how it works

goal in life: I think he wouldn’t really be able to answer that question. What the truth would be is that he probably wants to do something grand and important that helps a lot of people and kind of changes the world. But he might not really think of it that way, since he’s usually focused more on smaller more isolated issues and he has no idea what he wants to do as a career. He admires activists and people who put themselves at risk but it probably makes him feel inferior that someone else is Doing Something About This Big Problem and he’s just sitting there riding around on his bisexual bike and being in college. (I’d like to say he’s probably changed majors at least a few times,,, that man was like “oh yeah lmao i’m gonna be a comic book artist” but someone said something about how he’s a good therapist and he’s like “brb kinshift i am now a psychology major” lmao.) (hello i am projecting but i’m right) He sees a tumblr post about some issue somewhere and he hyperfixates on it for days until he sees another post about something worse it’s an issue. But I think what he ended up doing was what he wanted to, even if he never recieved any recognition for it the internal sense that he was doing something Right TM in the eyes of history would probably make him cry

how he was raised: I can’t really say much to this because there’s barely any canon on this and the canon that does exist I have completely ignored other than the fact that he has two dads. Bro tbh? He didn’t need any tragic emo backstory I think he had a great childhood. Honestly he’s probably a rich kid. Not super rich but he’s not struggling man. Not gonna lie to you I think the only reason he went to Kamii was because he wanted to be at the same college as Kaneki who probably got a scholarship. Hide, didn’t. (it’s not like he’s not intelligent but I don’t really think that his grades are his biggest priority, the only time he ever pays attention in class is to give kaneki the answers when he’s gone) 

What irks me about the random lore drop in the last chapter about him having a CCG dad that died or whatever- it kind of ruins the whole point for me. Personally I choose to believe he had nothing whatsoever to do with ghouls or the ccg before all that happened to Kaneki. He probably had correct opinions on them, but only like, in theory, it’s like straight people that are like “yeah ofc gay ppl valid” but they’ve never really had any personal experience with any. So when he gets involved in that- the fact is that the only reason he was... was bc of kaneki. It was never more complicated than that to me. YKNOW, SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST, NICE, OK? 

And I think for me that the fact that he could actively choose to be nice and be aware of all these problems when he’s practically got every advantage in life is a lot more important. He didn’t have to be poor or have a dead parent or have a shitty childhood for him to be really genuinely good. I don’t think he’s ever been bullied or anything, but he can still be aware that it sucks to be bullied. I think he was just... raised right. I think his dads are probably pretty fucking baller for him to be such a bro. They taught him the right shit.

General philosophy: Hide is one of the only people in the series for whom the dynamics of right and wrong are not hard to understand. He’s never been required to pick up a weapon or actually truly fight in the CCG, he’s never been really mean to anyone. Of course I can say he’s probably decked a few ppl that made fun of Kaneki in middle school, but haven’t we all. The thing is that though he’s never suffered at the hands of others, everything that’s hurt him he’s gone in fully consenting to it- he can still understand and forgive what everyone else has done. Like bro he’s the literal only one around who’s not like a literal war criminal, but he’s not going to think he’s better because of it, because he understands that if he had been in their circumstances he couldn’t say how he would have turned out. 

That’s why I think it’s so important that he never really had a bad childhood- he’s not better than them for turning out without any blood on his hands, because he was never required to. And he knows that and he goes through every day with all these people who have and is conscious of it. He can’t ever say he’s incapable of hurting other people, because he would have said that about Kaneki before all of it happened. So he’s quite politically correct compared to Kaneki and the others but he doesn’t see things that way.

relationship bullshit: i mean bro i know this is a serious post about like psychological and emotional things but i felt the need to discuss whY does everyone write hide as a bottom I mean like sure he’d bottom if his partner was a top but this is simply not the case with kaneki look at him. Hide. Service top. I rest my case. The man’s the biggest switch ever but when he’s a top he’s a nice top. I think Kaneki needs that to be perfectly honest. He really likes to take care of people. Also kind of off topic but his love language is quality time he just wants to play video games wit da homies and he might fall in love a bit

I find it genuinely funny how much i cannot get away from the tentacle porn on the god forsaken archive of our own just looking at the tags i already know it’s so out of character haitoheoihesdsdsa and don’t get me started on the vore

how kaneki sees him vs how he actually is: One of the biggest problems in kaneki and hide’s relationship is how in the beginning, Kaneki didn’t really understand at all that Hide could be hiding anything from him. Kaneki’s not good at picking up clues like that in general, but the fact that he was hiding so much himself didn’t help at all. Hide gives off the vibe of someone who has no inhibitions and shows every side of himself without hesitation, and Kaneki really does idolize that. He didn’t realize that Hide could possibly be suffering or imperfect compared to his vision. He sees Hide as practically an angel, and that’s exactly how Hide wants Kaneki to see him, because he doesn’t want to burden Kaneki with his own problems since he believes they’re not as important and they would make Kaneki sad. Kaneki knew Hide wasn’t as oblivious as he seemed, but he didn’t really understand what that meant until too late. The good thing about Kaneki’s character development though is that it then helps Kaneki understand that Hide was suffering because of him and he didn’t want Hide to hide it anymore (lmao). If they’d only executed that point well that could have been really good but well that’s what fanfic is for

how he sees kaneki vs how kaneki actually is: This one’s a lot more difficult, because well. Hide’s very good at knowing exactly how people are in their hearts, compared to Kaneki. But there are definitely some things that he’s not super up on. He wasn’t around for a lot of Kaneki’s development, so most of the time I think he still believes Kaneki doesn’t want to see his pain, which is, simply incorrect, Kaneki would obviously not be happy to hear it but it would tear him up inside to realize he’s been oblivious to it the whole time. He’s grown a lot more mature since he spent most of his time with Hide, and I really think Hide could benefit from being able to open up to Kaneki the way he is now. And well. I think his biggest misconception has to be that Kaneki enjoyed women lmao

the most him thing i’ve ever done: listening to a happy upbeat song and visibly bopping while also uncontrollably sobbing

miscellaneous headcanons: 

-he’s a morning person lmao. Motherfucker gets up at 6 AM and Kaneki is like PL EA SE NO

-what he finds attractive is like. twinks and girls with hair in colors that don’t exist and ppl who don’t know what gender is

-He likes Imagine Dragons lmao you can see by the next point

-his coping mechanisms are mostly music and other people tbh he’s like “oh i am having emotions? disgusting” *goes to a party*

-he plays dnd and he mains a warlock i don’t make the rules

-he doesn’t look like someone who would do that shit but he probably knows how to use tarot cards

-idk how but that motherfucker is so neurodivergent i can smell the hyperempathy on him look at that man he has so much adhd

-he’s fully aware that his fashion sense is terrible and continues to wear more and more ridiculous clothes to piss kaneki off

-this man has tungle dot fuck. Look at him. His url is probably something along the lines of my ao3 username lmao

-he can see the forbidden shrimp colors smh

-this bitch likes mob psycho 100 and the promised neverland, kaneki keeps telling him to watch death note and he’s just like n   o hhsdfhhfdshdfshdfs he probably kins tpn emma

-he doesn’t know how to drive lmao he bikes everywhere and he lives in tokyo

-i am once again thinking about how he was in a play with kaneki and kaneki was the main character and he was the spicy side character that’s not a headcanon just. that

songs that are, him: 

-Stand By You (Rachel Platten)

-Luck (American Authors)

-Love (Imagine Dragons)

-If I Lose Myself (One Republic)

-Stardust (New Politics)

-Secrets (also one republic)

-Flaws (Bastille)

-100 Bad Days (AJR)

-I Lived (another one republic lmao)

-Battle Scars (Paradise Fears)

-Rise Up (Imagine Dragons)

yeah he definitely listens to this shit lmao

[letsboldlygomotherfuckers]

as a trans person who feels aligned to pansexual, can I ask why you feel being pan is transphobic or biphobic? I’m not trolling, I genuinely want to know. Personally I id as pan because I am attracted to nb and other genders outside the two defined genders so I felt more comfortable outside of a binary gender definition if that makes sense? But honestly these words are so hard to define as everyone has their own personal understanding that is meaningful to them too and I struggle with mine daily.

ok starting this off by saying this is not gonna be very well explained or succinct, and giving the disclaimer I don’t have a problem with anyone who ids as pan, I just don’t like the existence of the label itself bc it’s inherently biphobic

pansexuality is always defined by how it’s different to bisexuality, and i’ve never seen a description of it that’s not just putting bisexuality down. bisexuality is attraction to more than one gender, it’s literally that simple. this includes trans people and nb people, when people try to argue pan is needed as a label bc bisexuality means attraction to only two genders that’s a) wrong and b) biphobic bc ur literally accusing bisexuals of being transphobic

the other argument I see is that bisexuality is attraction to more than one gender while pansexuality is attraction regardless of gender which imo is just bullshit and again implying bisexuals are transphobic.

loads of people have explained this way better than me ok I’m v tired i’ve been driving 6 hours so pls don’t @ me but I don’t have a problem with people who id as pan but I do ask if there’s a reason to id as pan over bi that isn’t biphobic

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

Okay, so I know this is really controversial, but I'm wondering why people would call themselves bisexuals if they aren't attracted to only two genders? There are other labels out there that match them better, so why say you are bi when you're closer to pan, poly, or onni?

Because there are plenty of other reasons why someone might prefer one label over another.

And since bisexual means "attraction to more than one gender" that absolutely includes people who are attracted to, well... more than one gender - no matter how many, even all. That's what bisexuality is and for a lot of people it's what it always has been. And just because, e.g. pansexual specifically means attraction to all genders doesn't mean someone has to use that label just because it might be a little more precise.

Like, the pillow next to me is technically scarlet but it's not wrong for me to just say that it's red. Both words are right to describe that pillow, "red" just leaves a little more wiggle room for interpretation.

Personally I'm attracted to all genders but I do not vibe with other m-spec labels at all. I don't mind their existence, I think it's great that people have a variety of labels to choose from. But I'm still bisexual. I prefer bi because I've known that label and felt connected to it way before I even knew any other m-spec labels, way before I learned that there were more than two genders. But luckily eventually I learned all those things and also that bisexuality can include all genders so I didn't have to change my label. I also prefer the bi-label because it's more well-known, demands less explanation in day-to-day life (though deeper conversations might reveal misconceptions) and it's easier to find and connect to bisexuality in an offline community. Also... it's a superficial reason but I find the bi flag the prettiest 🤷‍♀️

Maybe if I was younger and had had my first teenage self-exploration past 2015 I might've stumbled upon the term pansexuality in a formative moment and maybe that would've been the label I had been most drawn to? Maybe. But I'm 31 and I first said the word bisexual in the early 2000s. And I did not have Tumblr to explain things. I could not even google stuff bc we had one family computer and that was it, no smartphones and no way to google sex stuff without the risk of a parent looking over your shoulder. And even so, how could I google something I didn't know a word for? I don't know where I had picked up on the word "bisexual" (probably from s friend at school) but I felt a connection and deep down knew that it fit me. Nevermind that it was followed then by 10+ years of internalised biphobia and staying deeply closeted. So... do you really still wonder why I keep sticking with the label that I have an almost 20years long personal history with? That I have a stronger bond with "bisexual" than I could have with any other m-spec label that I've only learned about in the last 5-7 years? Which is not to say people cannot change their labels after a certain age, it's fine if they want to. But a lot of bisexuals don't and they don't have to just because other words are gaining popularity.

Other people might have different reasons for their labels and sometimes it's just not that deep. Bisexual isn't less accurate for someone who is attracted to 2+ genders because bisexuality doesn't mean exactly just two genders. And you're right that it's controversial what you wrote because it's essentially pushing for a bi=2 definition and demand that bi people use a different label if their attraction includes more than two genders. That's not just controversial, that's biphobic. So please stop that and accept that people can have plenty of reasons for why they pick a label and it's not just about definitions, it's often more about what feels right. It's not your place to say someone chose the wrong label for themselves or there'd be a better one for them. If they'd find another one better then they'd use that and they don't need your approval.

Maddie

[inevitably-johnlocked]

You've probably seen me and my asks/reposts/reblogs a few times and if not I mean- Anyways! I'm craving some BAMF! John content bc who wouldn't want that in their life? Also- I really love all that you do for the fandom and your followers. (I was an old Nonny who spoke about being asexual. I was wrong and I mean it happens-) But yeah you are super duper amazing and I hope one day I can do the same for others

Hey Lovely! <3

Aww, it’s okay to change your labels when figure out who you are (I certainly have)! I have a lot of asks from ace nonnies, so I’m not sure which one is yours, hahah. That said, don’t feel bad for identifying as one thing until recently... it’s normal. <3

Ah, yes, we all love a badass mother-fuckin’ John!! I’ve only done one list related to it, so I’ll link to it below :) As always, I encourage everyone to add their own fics to the list below!

Thank you for your kind words, and I hope you enjoy what I’ve got for you! <3

BAMF and/or SOLDIER JOHN

See also: BAMF! But Insecure John

Idiot by Anesthesiologist (T, 1,229 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, TGG AU, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Inner Monologue, John Saves Sherlock, POV Sherlock) – What the heck happened? He remembered the pool and Moriarty, but then what? Had he been dying?

Shooter by Amputation (K+, 1,406 w. || Post-TRF, Suspense, BAMF!John) – The men were trying to rile the other into acting first, it seemed. How boringly predictable and dull this was!

The 3x John Carried Sherlock, and Once ViceVersa by ShinkonoKokoro (K+, 1,673 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Friendship, Three and One, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Worried Sherlock, John Gets Shot) – It happens more than he suspects.

In Which John is a BAMFy MoFo, OMG! by Kantayra (T, 1,835 w., 1 Ch. || Humour) – John's BAMFness and Sherlock's damsel-in-distress act are caught forever on camera. So Scotland Yard can mock. A lot.

Coming Full Circle by KCS (K+, 2,358 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate TGG, Friendship, Drama, Violence/Death References, Drugging/Poisoning, Kidnapping, BAMF John, Moriarty POV, Introspection) – Moriarty had John for almost six hours between his abduction and the showdown at the pool - more than enough time to implement a Plan B for his escape should Sherlock call his bluff with the fake bomb vest.

Butterfly, Pinned Under Glass by billiethepoet (E, 4,648 w., 1 Ch. || Possessive Sherlock, Jealousy, Barebacking, BAMF!John) – It started as a desire to keep John safe and whole, and ended up as just desire.

Stranded by BeautifulFiction (T, 5,798 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, Communication / Relationship Discussion, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, BAMF John, Doctor John, Case Fic, Drinking, Huddling For Warmth, Friends to More) –  When stranded on a derelict barge at high tide, John and Sherlock reconsider their friendship.

The Death of Doubt by Gingerhermit (E, 6,584 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate Canon, BAMF John, POV Sherlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Drama, Meddling Mycroft) – Mycroft asks for John’s help in rescuing Sherlock from his Serbian captors.

High and Tight, Soft and Loose by cwb (E, 7,429 w., 1 Ch. || Jealous John, Miscommunications / Misunderstandings, First Kiss / Time, BAMF John, Insecure Sherlock, Clueless Sherlock, POV John, Embarrassed John, Adorable Sherlock, Junk Size, UST / RST) – John pressed the knuckle of his index finger against his mouth and sighed. “So, you're coiled like a spring and ready to be ... sprung?” “If you want to be pedestrian about it, yes.” “Like I said, you should do something about that.” “And like I said, pedestrian. What would you have me do? Take up jogging? Yoga? Oh! Unless you mean –” “I don't mean anything. Let’s drop it.”

I'm Pretty Sure This Changes Shit by cwb (E, 7,672 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Cudding, Doctor/Patient, Accidents, Pining Sherlock, Blow Jobs, Oral / Anal, BAMF John, Minor Injuries, Dev. Rel.) – Sherlock finds increasingly ridiculous ways to get John to patch him up after hurting himself.

Every Night I Look for You by destinationtoast (E, 8,377 w., 1 Ch. || POV John, Post-TRF, Angst, Mystery, Unsafe Sex, BAMF John) – Every night, John looks for familiar hints of Sherlock in the men he meets in bars, and he does with them all the things he wishes he’d done before. Eventually, he stumbles into a situation that Sherlock would know how to handle, and John must decide whether he can handle it without him.

Made for You by Raxicoricofallapatorious (K, 8,440 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Sci-Fi, Androids) – When John was shot in the shoulder he was decommissioned and his memory and personality was wiped. Sherlock was given the blank droid and he quickly learns that this droid is more than it seems. John just so happened to come back and no one can fathom how or why. Johnlock if you squint.

Matters of National Security by mistyzeo (E, 8,465 w., 1 Ch. || BAMF John, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Dating, Bisexuality, Arguing, Stupidity, Teasing, First Kiss/Time, Hand Jobs, Frottage, RST, Idiots in Love) – John starts dating a male client of Sherlock's, and Sherlock can't figure out why he's so incensed about it.

Stay Awake by pandoras_chaos (E, 9,325 w., 1 Ch. || BAMF!John, First Time, Angst, Pining Sherlock, Rimming, Oral/Anal) – Sherlock can feel the tenuous threads of this conversation shuddering under the strain of all the unspoken words. His eyes narrow as he gazes up at John, noting the residual tension in his shoulders, the dark circles under his lower lids, and the way he is avoiding Sherlock’s eyes like a bi-polarized magnet. He knows John Watson inside and out, like the perfectly balanced coils and gears of a beautifully balanced grandfather clock, and yet John keeps surprising him. It’s uncanny, the way he keeps on being so utterly and wonderfully unpredictable.

John Watson’s Moon by patternofdefiance (E, 11,314 w., 1 Ch. || Werewolf John, First Time, BAMF John, First Time, Anal, Fleeting Depictions of Violence) – Sherlock finds out John is a werewolf and wants to see the transformation. It, uh, gets really kinky.

The Red Dianthus by kinklock (T, 11,382 w., 3 Ch. || Supernatural Elements, BAMF!John, Misunderstandings, Fluff, Romance, Halloween, Dev. Rel., Case Fic) – The boys investigate a mysterious disappearance in a supposedly haunted house, and get much more than they bargained for.

The Hand You're Dealt by Lady Sam Mallory (T, 12,092 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Light Violence, BAMF John, Doctor John, Injury, Friendship) – Sherlock, John and several others are trapped in a building when an explosion disrupts the crime scene they are working.

Fear Itself by KCS (K+, 12,289 w., 3 Ch. || Suspense, Friendship) – John is accustomed to being kidnapped by now, but he never expected a criminal to adopt Mycroft's method of doing so, to ensure he comes along without a fight.

To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.

On The Fence by BeautifulFiction (T, 13,770 w., 1 Ch. || Fencing, Case Fic, First Kiss, Insecure John, Pining John, Hug, Greg Finds Out) – The murder of the King's College fencing champion leads to revelations about Sherlock's past. Will it be the point that tips them from friends to lovers, or will they remain on the fence?

The Acronym by DancingGrimm (T, 15,057 w. || Humour) – "'Bee Ay Em Eff'. Hm, that's a new one on me. Do you know what it means, Sherlock?" John might not know what it means, but there are many little ways in which he proves the acronym suits him.

I Will Take Care Of You by SailorChibi (T, 16,664 w., 15 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Sick Sherlock, BAMF John, BAMF Lestrade, Reunion Fic) – Two years after Sherlock's death, John comes to find him on the sofa. Wounded and ill, Sherlock is convinced he's hallucinating and refuses to share any details about Moran or the fact that Mycroft has been compromised. That doesn't stop John from stepping up and taking care of the last of Moriarty's web, BAMF-style.

Hope for Heroes by Richefic (K+, 16,887 w., 5 Ch. || Post-TGG Fic, Introspection / Flashbacks, Friendship/Epic Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Worried/Anxious Sherlock, Sherlock Admires John, BAMF John, John Deduces, Fancy Party, John’s Self Esteem, Domestics) – In the final moments of "The Great Game" Holmes hopes he will have the chance to tell his flatmate that he was wrong. Heroes do exist after all and the one in front of him is called Dr John Watson.

Traitor's Gate by roane (E, 17,714 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, Case Fic, Mystery, Bets and Wagers, Undercover for a Case, BAMF John, Scientist Sherlock, Teasing, Established Relationship, Military Base, Sexting/Texting, Military/Uniform Kink, Frottage, Dirty Sex, Anal, Bottomlock) – John and Sherlock go undercover at a top secret government lab to find out who is selling research. John is back in uniform and Sherlock is back in a laboratory, but they have to pose as strangers. Sherlock thinks he'll have an easy time of it, but John has his doubts. It's up to them to find out who is responsible for putting a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands, and try to keep their hands off each other at the same time.

5 Times John Got the Girl (and lost her) and 1 Time John Got the Guy (and kept him) by LiviKate (M, 21,695 w., 6 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Kissing, Oblivious / Awkward Sherlock, BAMF / Sexy / Stud John, Embarrassed John, John’s Scar, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Sherlock) – John has always had good luck with the ladies. He's charming, friendly and funny, not to mention great in bed. However, his usual skill with the opposite sex is constantly being thwarted by Sherlock and his outbursts. How will John ever get a leg over when Sherlock is always cockblocking him?

Knotted by naughtyspirit (E, 23,166 w., 4 Ch. || UST/URT, Cuddling, Sharing Body Heat, Confessions, Kissing, Mastrubation, Frustration, BAMF!John) – John has to cancel a date because of Sherlock's case, which leads them to be tied up in a basement from which they have to escape. They get wet, get tied up close and John has to step up and save them. Because he's pretty. And hot. And just a little bit of a BAMF.

Maintaining A Personal Life by Gingerhermit (E, 24,284 w., 6 Ch. || Alternating POV’s, Bisexuality, BAMF!John, Jealous Sherlock, Romance / Drama, Sort-of Case Fic, Peril & Angst, Love Confessions, Toplock, Soft Idiots in Love, Post S3) – Sherlock and John discover some interesting revelations about each other’s sexuality, which lead them both to question the assumptions they've made about one another for years. In the midst of their mutual discoveries, a dangerous psychopath looms on the side-lines who threatens to destroy their new beginning.

Invisible by chappysmom (K+, 25,947 w., 11 Ch. || No Slash, semi-canon compliant) – John had had the knack for as long as he could remember. It wasn’t that he could become invisible, exactly. The laws of physics worked quite well in his vicinity, thank you very much. It was just that people tended … not to see him. {{This was one of the first AU’s I read, and I still love it to this day}}. SEQUELS: Still Invisible (ASiB) || Too Visible (THoB) || Invisible Once More (TRF)

And A Doctor by StillWaters1 (T, 27,393 w., 6 Ch. || Friendship, Doctor John, Whump, Soldier / Doctor Dichotomy, Five and One) – It was only when people actually saw John working as a physician that they began to understand: that it wasn't just about bullets and IEDs and trauma care under fire. That "doctor" actually covered a pretty wide field. And that John was bloody good at covering ground. 5 times Dr. Watson treated others and 1 time he treated himself.

26 Pieces by Lanning (E, 28,236 w., 1 Ch. || H/C, Torture, First Time, Happy Ending, Schmoop, Past Abuse) – Mycroft gives Sherlock the apparently simple task of solving a puzzle box containing a stolen microchip. It isn't simple.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w., 9 Ch. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

To Mend Icarus by AlessNox (T, 29,186 w., 14 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship, Drama, BAMF!John, Emotional Turmoil, Introspection, Harry is in this Fic, Angry John, Happy Ending, Queerplatonic Relationship) – After a case lands John Watson in court, he tells Sherlock that he is leaving. Not understanding why, Sherlock decides that the only way to learn the truth is to investigate his flatmate, Dr. John Watson. A revision of the story Mending Icarus.

A Study In Auto-Signatures, Sniper Dolphins, and Sex Holidays by cwb (E, 32,689 w., 8 Ch. || Case Fic, Post S3, Evil Mary, Dev. Rel., Beach Holidays, Confused Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Honeymoon, Epistolary, Bottomlock, First Kiss / Time, Fluff, Secret Agents, BAMF!John) – John and Mary go on their sex holiday, and Sherlock is grumpy and pining about it. Part 1 of HOT DOLPHIN SEX

The Wrong Wagon by DancingGrimm (E, 35,663 w., 20 Ch. || Alternating POV, Molly/  John [Molly pines for John], Public Sex, Casual Sex, Obliviousness, BAMF!John, Awkwardness, Angst & Humour, First Time, Virgin Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock) – Molly sees John in a new light and realises that she may have hitched her horse to the wrong wagon...or something like that. John pines for Sherlock and worries what he will think if he ever finds out. And Sherlock doesn't know what Molly's up to...but he knows he doesn't like it.

we have never seen a greater day than this by Lediona (T, 36,420 w., 7 Ch. || A Royal Night Out AU || WWII / VE Day, Prince Sherlock, Soldier John, Alternating POV, First Kiss, Bittersweet Ending, Homophobia, Dancing) – Peace. At long last. It’s VE Day and Prince William desires to join the celebrations. It is a night of excitement, danger and the first flutters of romance.

A Week is Just Seven Days Isn't It? by scifigrl47 (T, 39,906 w., 4 Ch. || Humour, Friendship/Bromance, Stroppy/Bored Sherlock, Undercover/Army John, Texting, Pining-ish Sherlock, John Whump) – When John heads overseas for a week, Sherlock's forced to fend for himself. It goes about as well as anyone could have anticipated. Which is to say, very, very poorly. Don't worry, things'll be fine in just seven days.

Right Hand Man by SilentAuror (E, 42,031 w., 4 Ch. ||  H/C, Injury, Slow Burn) – When John's left arm becomes paralysed after a car accident, Mary asks Sherlock to take him back to Baker Street to recuperate, as she's about to give birth. Despite the fact that the search for Moriarty is ongoing, Sherlock takes John in and takes responsibility for overseeing his rehabilitation as he adjusts to the loss of his arm.

Guidelines by WithLoweredVoices (M, 43,018 w., 15 Ch. || Winglock || Angels, Fantasy, Angst, BAMF! John, War, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Jealous John, Falling in Various Ways, Needy Sherlock, Wings) – The Good Soldier, one of the oldest and strongest of the fallen, is offered a bargain: to live as John Watson and to Guide a fledgling archangel so that he will stay on the path of good. Of course, Sherlock Holmes has different ideas about his destiny. Fantasy AU. Warnings for violence, occasional gore, and a whole load of hurt and angst.

Left by lifeonmars (M, 45,153 w., 9 Ch. || Magical Realism, BAMF!John, Slow Burn) – John Watson is left-handed. He’s tried not to let it affect his life, but as any Lefty knows, that’s almost impossible.

Impossible to Feign by achray (M, 49,204 w., 12 Ch. || TRF Rewrite / Reverse Reichenbach, Suicidal Ideations / Discussions, Drug Use/Abuse, Mutual Pining, Friends With Benefits, John Accepts his Sexuality, Anxious Sherlock, Meddling Mycroft, Depression, Hallucinations, Secret Agent John, BAMF John, Reunion, Make-Up Sex, Ambiguous Ending) – Sherlock leant forward, his long fingers curving round to grip John’s.“I won’t let him win,” he said, eyes hard. “I will do whatever it takes to get you out.”

Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w., 26 Ch. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BAMF John, Falling in Love) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”

Albion and the Woodsman by Glenmore (NR [E], 54,437 w., 50 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post S3, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst, Family, Drug Use, Depression, Sherlock POV, Light Humour, Reconnecting, Declarations of Love) – Sherlock and John are devastated after Mary Morstan makes her final moves. Sherlock relapses at the crack house, John walks around the world … and a lot happens in between. Parentlock, in the good way.

Wars We Fought, Things We're Not by blueink3 (M, 55,204 w., 10 Ch. || Post S3 / Post TAB, Parentlock, Fluff & Angst, Kidnapping, Whump, Post-TAB, UST/URT, 3G, Mild Peril, Slow Burn, Couple for a Case, Protective Mycroft, Infant Death Pre-Story, Friends to Lovers) –  Five months after John's world has fallen apart, Mycroft sends the consulting detective and his doctor on a case that neither is prepared for.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock, BAMF John) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w., 24 Ch. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn't have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

Perdition's Flames by i_ship_an_armada (E, 63,435 w., 21 Ch. || Treklock AU, Est. Rel, Genetic Engineering, Angst & Fluff, BAMF!John) – Sherlock would do anything to save him. Risk anything. Give anything. His money, his life. His soul. What he does, though, is change both of their destinies forever. Genetic re-engineering is the only option left. It turns out researchers underestimated the life expectancy and potential abilities of genetically re-engineered subjects. The British government and what would eventually become the United Federation of Planets, however, had not. Part 1 of PF Universe

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU ||  Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

Watches 'Verse by bendingsignpost (E, 66,905 w. across 2 works || Magical Realism, Reality Distortion, Angst, Partial MCD, BAMF John) – First, he is shot in Afghanistan. Second, he wakes to a phone call in Chelmsford, Essex. Third is pain, fourth is normalcy, fifth is agony and sixth is confusion. By the eighth, he's lost track. (John-centric AU) Part 1 of Watches 'Verse

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

The Green Blade by verityburns (T, 72,929 w., 15 Ch. || Casefic, Bromance) – As a serial killer hits the headlines, the police are out of their depth and the next victim is out of time. With faith in Sherlock Holmes at an all time low, this is a case which will push loyalties to the limit...

Darkling, I Listen by You_Light_The_Sky (T, 73,254 w., 8 Ch. || Fairy Tale AU || Loosely Based on Beauty and the Beast, Magical Realism, Suicidal Themes, Romance, Creepiness, Adventure) – No one who enters old London ever comes out. They say that the beast devours them. When his sister disappears, John ventures into the dead zone beyond the wall, and finds a brilliant madman under a terrible curse... Part 1 of Darkling I Listen + Extras, Deleted Scenes

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w., 18 Ch. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he's a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover's trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world's highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

The Monument of Memory by J_Baillier (M, 79,663 w., 14 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It Fic / S4 is Canon, Angst, Family Drama, Guilt, Case Fic, John Loves Sherlock, Complicated Feelings, Mentalism / Hypnosis, Murder, Grieving John, Sherlock is a Bit Not Good, Team Work, Trust Issues, BAMF John, Psychological Trauma, Protective John, Autistic-Spectrum Sherlock, Parentlock, John POV) –  A genius traumatised by a past he's only beginning to recall. The psychopath sister that time forgot. A missing woman and a mentalist who may or may not be a murderer. And, in the middle of it all, stands John Watson.

Secrets and Revelations by Hisstah (E, 83,535 w., 9 Ch. || Sentinel / Guides Omegaverse AU || Adventure, Violence, Anal / Oral, Omega!John / Alpha!Sherlock, Case Fic, Politics, Mild DubCon) – Dr John Watson has some major secrets that he's kept from his flatmate, Alpha Sentinel Sherlock Holmes. Now the Sentinel Tower is after him. Can John stay out of their hands until he can reveal his secrets to Sherlock? Part 1 of Secrets and Revelations

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater /  Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 97,884 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

Maintenance and Repair by patternofdefiance (E, 106,650 w., 71 Ch. || Future AU, Augmentation || Augmented John, Depression, Body Modification, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Sci-Fi, Self-Care, Body Dysmorphia) – John wants to explain the rush of sensation and data, which is just another form of sensation (or is it the other way around?). John wants to say: Augmentation circuits report temperature, pressure, various forms of quantitative input. Sudden changes are reported as pain, since sudden changes are dangerous, and pain is the quickest way to encourage reflexive extraction. But all John can manage is, “Nng.” Because this sudden touch is not reporting as pain. Part 2 of STATIC

Shatter the Darkness (Let the Light In) by MojoFlower (E, 109,683 w., 23 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Genie/Djinn AU || Magical Realism, Kidnapping, Genie Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Case Fic, H/C, Angst, Clubs, John Whump, Mild DubCon, Hand / Blow Jobs, Torture) – Fairy tales are for those who remember how to dream; not John Watson, broken and hiding from his bleak future in a beige bedsit. But then he discovers a lamp and finds himself in the dangerous riptide of an enigmatic man whose very existence is unbelievable, murder charges against his sister, and the growing pains of feeling alive once more.

Two Two One Bravo Baker by abundantlyqueer (E, 114,574 w., 27 Ch. || Military AU || Afghanistan, War Story, Thriller, Switchlock, Rimming, Emotional Lovemaking, Lots of Sex, HJ/BJ’s) – Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John? Part 1 of Two Two One Bravo Baker Universe

Breakable by MissDavis (E, 117,627 w., 34 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE, WiP || Established Relationship, Major Character Injury, Fluff/Angst, Depression, Paralysis/Disabilities, Hurt/Comfort, POV Sherlock, Mental Health Issues, Drug Use, Happy-ish Ending) – After John is seriously injured, Sherlock struggles to figure out how to help him, keep himself sane, and maybe, just maybe, get their life back to the way it's supposed to be. Part 1 of Breakable Not Broken

The Burning Heart by May_Shepard (M, 119,150 w., 21 Ch. || Canon Divergence, Post-TRF, John’s Sexuality, S3 Rewrite, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV John Watson, John’s Gay) – When Sherlock dies, John Watson feels like his life is over too. He’s completely shut down, until Mark Morstan, a new nurse at John’s medical clinic, catches his attention, and helps him uncover the long buried truth of his attraction to men. Although he’s certain he’ll never get over Sherlock, John plans to move on, and build a new life with Mark, unaware that Sherlock is not quite as dead as he appears, and that Mark is hiding secrets of his own.

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.