#it feels like we never fully moved in ig like that kinda mess

[storm-of-feathers]

I found 1 ambien under my couch and it's helping to relax me i think

[sunshineseung]

Little Secret Part 2 // Changbin

🍄 | genre: smut mini-series ☁️ | pairing: Seo Changbin x female!reader 🌿 | wc: 3.6k 🌸 | includes: virgin!reader, kinda romantic, lots of smoochin’, lil bit of begging, reaaally soft sex, oral (f!receiving), consent :), protected sex, aftercare? ig

v Please read part one first! v

🌊 | Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Finale |

“Alright, I’m gonna go. Thanks for having me over.” Changbin thanked his closest friend, always polite and courteous to Jisung for allowing him to come over so often. 

“Cmon, you know you’re always welcomed here.” Jisung cleaned up their mess of popcorn and chips, tossing the bowls into the kitchen sink before helping Changbin leave. “See ya tomorrow in the studio, right?”

“You know it!” Changbin waved to Jisung as he entered his car. His car started with a hum, and the Bluetooth connected to his phone and continued where his Spotify left off. Ignoring whatever song was playing, Changbin dropped his forehead into the steering wheel as he faced the text message app in his phone. He patiently waited for you, staring at the bright screen, until he saw the familiar ellipsis text bubble appear in the lower-left corner. His face lit up with glee, and he felt his heart start beating out of his chest. 

Changbin knew all too well that you had a crush on him. You made it more than obvious, stuttering over your words whenever he talked to you or hiding in your room whenever he was over. He and Jisung would joke about it in an attempt to brighten an otherwise problematic situation, but deep down, Changbin liked it. He liked the way you stared at him when he would be shirtless around your house. He liked the way you would go quiet in your room whenever he would start to talk purposefully loud about his sex life. He even liked it when he would go upstairs to use the restroom and hear your little moans of his name from inside your bedroom. He was always such a tease to you, and he couldn’t deny that he liked you too, but not in the exact same way.

Changbin lived alone. He had his own apartment downtown, and although he was known for DJing at parties, he would spend a lot of nights alone, left to his own thoughts. To combat intrusive or self-destructive thoughts, he would jerk off, obviously. And as much as he tried to focus on the pornography in front of him, he would always end up closing his eyes and letting his mind wander to you. The image of you riding him, bouncing on his cock as your chest rose and fell, was a go-to for him whenever he needed to cum fast. The thoughts of you doing sinful things with him never appeared until the beginning of this school year when he saw you carry a package to your room that was not-so-discretely a package from a sex shop. He always thought of you as extended family, being his best friend’s brother and all, but after imagining what naughty things might have been in that box, his mind was set. You were the only girl that could satisfy him.

He knew his experience would frighten you, but he wanted to ruin you more than anything. Jisung had never seen you with a partner, and although this was second-hand information, Changbin would love to take your virginity, making you cum over and over again anyway he can. 

This was his chance. He never knew how to make the first move on you without Jisung noticing, but if this was how it had to be, then this is how it had to be. 

You walked out to his car after sneaking past your brother, taking a seat in the passenger seat of Changbin’s car, refusing to look at him, although Changbin’s eyes were focused on you. He smiled gently, attempting to lighten the mood.

“Look, I said I’m sorry.” Changbin placed a hand on your shoulder and you gulped loudly. You could have sworn you felt your heart to a frontflip. 

“Changbin,” your voice was quiet, scared of what was about to happen, “if you don’t want to do this, then I-”

“Y/n, you have no idea how much I want to fuck you.” You were speechless. You darted your eyes to meet his, and his gaze was dripping with sincerity and lust. “Let’s go back to my place. You can sleep over, I don’t care. I just want you right now.”

“Wa-want me?” You bit your bottom lip, unable to believe the current situation you were in. The boy you’ve had a crush on since middle school was about to fuck your brains out until the sun came up. Your mind was foggy, but not foggy enough to refuse Changbin’s advances. 

His right hand rested on your thigh the whole 30 minute drive to his apartment, and you almost started shaking just thinking about what he was going to do to you. All your filthy fantasies were about to come to life, or you hoped they would. 

Despite your excitement, the thought of Jisung finding out terrified you. Although you fought constantly, he was always protective. He would never let anyone lay a finger on his precious little sister. The only person that could bully you was him. If he knew what his best friend was about to do to you, he’d explode out of anger. 

Changbin knew this. He knew damn well what he was doing would upset his best friend, but he couldn’t let this go any longer. Changbin would make lewd jokes about you infront of Jisung, each time resulting in Jisung fake-puking and threatening the older’s life if he were to ever even think of fucking you.

Ah, if only he knew.

You arrived at Changbin’s apartment. The elevator ride to the third floor was silent, but Changbin stayed close to your side the entire time. Your mind was still a mess, but Changbin’s presence made you a little bit at ease. As painfully horny as he made you, he was still your first love. You loved to be around him.

Once inside of his apartment, Changbin eased you in and welcomed you, giving you a quick “this is the living room” tour. You sat on his couch per his request and nestled back into the soft upholstery. Everything smelled like Changbin (unsurprisingly), and you almost fell asleep the second you sat down before Changbin sat next to you and leaned into your ear.

“This is your first time, right?”

You nearly jumped out of your skin. His voice was deep and hardly above a whisper. You felt so hot, and the atmosphere was so hot, and when you looked at him, he looked so hot. Holy shit. This is happening. 

“Yeah, but that’s okay, right?” You leaned away from him, afraid he would pounce on you at any moment. He noticed the fear in your eyes, and his glassy eyes reverted to his soft, warm gaze. He laughed it off, gently placing his hands on your hips and pulling you onto his lap, earning a quiet yelp from you. 

“Of course that’s okay, baby.” His nickname for you melted your heart. You blushed brightly, and Changbin thought it was the cutest thing he’d ever seen. He felt his chest get tight as a smile stretched across his face. “Tell me if it’s too much, alright?”

“Alright, Bin.” He leaned in, and you realized you hadn’t kissed anyone since Junior prom (Don’t tell Jisung! It was a one time thing!). What if you weren’t good enough for him? What if you were bad at this? What if-

Then his lips were on yours. He waited patiently for you to get more comfortable, never moving on until you began to kiss him back. The kiss was so light and sweet, something Changbin hadn’t experienced since high school, but it honestly made his heart sing. He was the one that was supposed to be teaching you! What the fuck was this? Your hands quickly found their place on his shoulders and the back of his neck as you pulled yourself closer to him. You could feel him semi-hard under you, and you gently pushed your body down to feel more of him without thinking that he would also feel you push down on him. He pulled back and hissed, cursing under his breath. You tried to apologize, but before you could utter a word, his eye contact made you speechless. 

“Eager, are we?” His smirk made your heart drop. God, he was so good looking it made your brain error. Of course you were eager, but you didn’t want to fully submit immediately. You were always a baby to him, so this could be your chance to have him see you as more mature, right?

“I just wanted to feel you.” Your sweet little voice made Changbin swoon. He knew you were innocent, and as much as he wanted to ruin you, there was an angel on his shoulder telling him to be gentle and caring. He wrapped his arms around you and brought you into another kiss, this time greedier and heavier than the last one, but you felt safe in his arms.

Changbin’s lips on your jawline felt like nirvana. He was so gentle with you, yet still domineering enough to make you entirely pliant in his arms, not like you’d know what to do if he actually let you be in control. You felt his kisses become rougher as he began sucking hickeys onto your neck. You arch your back and lean into his body, giving him full access to your neck. His hands went from supporting his weight at your sides to exploring your body, feeling you up over your shirt as slowly as possible.

“Take this off, princess.” Changbin tugged at the bottom of your shirt, hoping you get the hint. You nodded and hastily tossed your shirt off, exposing your braless chest. “Oh? Nothing on underneath?”

You looked down and covered your chest with your arms. Fuck, why were you so nervous? You’ve wanted this for years and now you’re shy? Changbin grabbed your wrists and slowly pulled you away from yourself, again exposing your chest to him. His face was unreadable aside from the casual smile that made your head spin.

“So beautiful.” Your face was as red as a tomato. His hands moved from holding your wrists to holding your hands, keeping you from covering your body. “This is what I’ve been missing out on this whole time? Damn, I should have done this sooner.”

He looks to you for any sign of discontent, but your soft puppy eyes tell him everything he needs to know, and he knows you need him. He dives his head into your chest, taking one of your nipples into his mouth, his tongue circling the sensitive bud, and takes your other breast into his hand, gripping your nipple between his fingers and twirling it gently enough to make you keen. He was so good at what he was doing, and you couldn’t help but moan and whimper, especially when his teeth began to tug at your nipple. 

Switching his head from one breast to the other, he briefly makes eye contact with you, and your adorably innocent gaze is enough to make him fully hard, his cock begging to be let out of his sweatpants. You looked so good, and the spit dripping from your chest lead down to where he wanted his mouth the most: your cunt. 

His heavenly touch left your chest, and you whined from the lack of stimulation before he stood up from the couch, taking you up in his arms in the process. He carried you to his bed, placing you down softly on the sheets. The smell of his overwhelmed you as you sunk into his pillows, quickly becoming blissed out and ready for more. 

Changbin joined you on the bed, taking his position between your legs, kissing your tummy and moving down to the waistband of your pants. You knew what was coming, but you didn’t know if you were ready. Your heart was beating out of your chest as Changbin looks to you again, lightly tugging at your pants.

“Bin, c-can you turn off the lights?” You point to the switch on the wall, and Changbin giggles before getting up and switching them off. The street lights from outside his window illuminated the room just enough for Changbin to still see the warm glow radiating from your body. He took a second to look at you, legs spread wide and chest arched up. Your eyes were glued to Changbin too, who had a noticeably large bulge in his pants. It was then that you realized you wanted this. You were ready for anything Changbin wanted to give you, to do to you. 

“You’re so fucking gorgeous, baby.” He comes back between your legs, and you raise your hips for him to slide off your shorts. The underwear you had on was nothing special, but Changbin loved it nonetheless. His fingers pressed your wet panties into your even wetter cunt, making the area fully drenched in your slick. You whined, desperately wanting more stimulation. 

“Please fuck me, Bin.” You didn’t know you had it in you to be so vulgar, and neither did Changbin. His eyes go wide as he looks up at you. You were so desperate, tears were lining your eyes. 

“Not yet, babe. Let me taste you first.” He slides your panties down your legs, adding them to the rest of the clothes. Now you’re fully naked, and fully at Changbin’s disposal. A single finger runs through your folds, and you whine when he begins to play with your clit, making small, calculated circles around the nerves. 

While your eyes are closed, he leans down and lays on his stomach to become eye-level with your pussy. His fingers leave your clit only to be replaced by his mouth, sucking and licking at your clit. You buck into his face subconsciously, and he can tell how much you love it by the liquid dripping out of your cunt. One finger slides in with ease, and when he bends it, you arch your back even more, and Changbin quickly finds your g-spot. 

“Bin, more, please.” Changbin could bust in his pants by how much you’re begging for him, but he loves it. Your voice gets so high-pitched and whiny every time you try to speak, but he loves it. 

He adds two more fingers, now thoroughly stretching you out. The drag of his fingers is insane, and he can reach deeper inside you than you ever could. You push onto his hand, subtly riding his fingers as he pumps them into you. His mouth is still attached to your clit, lapping you up like it’s his last meal. You feel yourself begin to become undone, and you throw your head back from the overwhelming pleasure.

“Bin, c-close.” That’s all you can squeak out before Changbin sucks harsher at your clit, pumps faster inside you, and makes you cum on his face and fingers. Your cum coats him as you shake from the most intense orgasm you’ve experienced thus far. You moan his name loudly, and hearing you curse so much is beyond sexy to Changbin. Your sweat reflecting the street lights, your back arched with your perky titties standing up, your beautiful moans and sounds. It’s all too perfect to be true. 

“Good girl.” Changbin takes his fingers out of you and sits up when you’re through your orgasm. He sucks off his fingers, tasting your sweet cum. The sight was too much, and you wanted nothing more than for Changbin to finally fuck you and take your virginity. “Is my girl ready for my cock?” 

“Y-yes Changbin, please, I need your cock.” You raise your hips, this time to get his attention back to your most sensitive area. He looks down and notices your neediness. Changbin’s shirt flies over his head and joins the rest of your clothes on the floor. He’s sitting between your legs on his knees, giving you a moment to ogle at his sculpted body, which you did.

You’ve seen him shirtless before, but this time was different. Now his body was over you, not across the room or in the pool. You subconsciously reached out to him, leaning forward and running a hand down his abs, stopping at the waistband of his sweatpants.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Changbin laughs, but you get unbelievably embarrassed in a matter of seconds, leaning back and covering your face with your arms. Changbin pins your hands above your head and leans down to kiss your blushing face all over until finishing on your lips, his tongue dancing with yours. “Don’t be shy, baby. Just calm down and let me take care of you.”

That smile. It was so sincere. You felt like he cared. Immediately, your heart burns with passion as you lean forward to kiss him while still being held down by his hands. His hands move down your arms to your chest, feeling you up one more time before you feel his hands leave your body. He breaks the kiss and leans to his bedside drawer, pulling out a condom. 

Without missing a beat, he pulls his pants and boxers down his thighs, his cock springing free. It’s a lot bigger than you had imagined, but that’s okay. You wanted him more than anything, and judging by the precum leaking out of his tip, he wanted you too. 

Changbin slides the condom down his shaft, making sure to pinch the tip of the rubber. He leans down and holds your hands at your sides, entwining his fingers with yours. You try to take deep breaths to calm down, but now that he feels so close, your heart feels as if it could burst out of your chest at any moment.

“This might hurt, but it will feel good, I promise.” He runs his tip through your folds, getting the head wet with your juices before lining up with your entrance. “Do you trust me, Y/n?” You nod, but that isn’t enough for Changbin. “Words, baby. Do you trust me?”

“Yes!” All you can do is whimper and squeak, a mixture of anxiety and excitement bubbling inside you. “Yes, Changbin. I trust you.” 

Changbin pushes his member into you, stretching you around him. It feels like you’re about to be split in half, like your lower half could just fall off. Fuck, was it painful. But as Changbin bottoms out, he just waits. He waits for your face to go from pure pain to pure pleasure. You’re biting harshly down on your lip, holding in any whines from the pain. After a moment, you let out a moan and push down onto his cock as if it wasn’t already fully inside you. 

“Bin,” your glassy eyes meet his, “move.”

His thrusts are slow and steady, making this the most enjoyable experience for you. Although you’re far from an orgasm, Changbin is scarily close. Your cunt feels like it was made for him. You’re tight, so fucking tight, but just enough for Changbin to still fit. He looks down and catches his cock disappearing into your dripping hole. The sight is filthy, and he loves it. If that wasn’t enough to make him close, your pretty moans were.

He knew your face was pretty, but your sounds, dear god your sounds. You sounded like an angel. Whenever you moaned his name, Changbin could feel his heart flutter. You sounded so damn pretty, like the best song he’d ever heard.

Changbin’s thrusts became more sloppy as he struggled to hold back his impending orgasm. You just looked so hot. The way your face scrunched up when he thrusted into you, moaning and whining with every moment. Your chest bouncing in rhythm to the sound of his balls hitting against you. It was all too much. 

You felt Changbin’s cock throb inside you, and you instinctively tighten around him. With a shaky breath, he cums inside the condom. His pretty little high-pitched groans as he came made you smile, thinking to yourself, yeah, I did that. 

He pulled out and disposed of the full condom. You held your arms out to him as he watched you sleepily make a little grabby hands gesture towards him. You looked so cute, how could he not cuddle with you?

Then you realized you had to pee.

But you came back as fast as you could to cuddle with him, pulling yourself into his chest, hearing his heartbeat and making your breathing in sync with his. His warmth enveloped you. You felt like you belonged there, laying in his arms with a gentle smile on your face as you were nodding off to sleep.

Changbin watched your eyes flutter shut, admiring how adorable you looked in his big arms. He wanted to talk to you, make sure you were okay, but you were already asleep by the time he collected his thoughts. All he could do was pull you closer, taking in the sweet scent of your messy hair.

Changbin was always hooking up with girls and going on dates, but nothing ever stuck. Recently, he’s been keeping to himself, and whether he’d like to admit it or not, it was because of you and his wicked thoughts. His feelings towards you for the past few months have always been of sexual attraction, nothing more. Now, actually having you in his arms, he didn’t know if his feelings were entirely rooted in lust or if he wanted something more… no. There’s no way Changbin was going to catch feelings for his best friend’s sister. No way. No fucking way.

How would Jisung react if he found out? How would he even find out? If you wouldn’t snitch, neither would Changbin, and you both subconsciously agreed to never utter a word to your brother. There was no way he could find out. No way. No fucking way.

🍓🍰🐤🍀💐🍯

An hour ago, Jisung got an alert on his phone. It was way too late for one of his booty calls to be texting him. What the fuck would alert him at this hour. 

Life360

Y/n arrived at Changbin’s Apartment.

No way. No fucking way.

[cloveroctobers]

•ALLEGRA BIANCHI•

IG info/bio: @/theeallegrabianchi | 303k followers| Entrepreneur | bad bitches go to therapy thxz 🦭👄

(24) 26 years old

From Swansea, Wales

Ofc she knows who Catherine Zeta-Jones is...her mother literally resembles her and remembers people coming up to her mom countless times asking for a pic growing up, and Allegra hated taking pics for these imbeciles...mainly because the attention wasn’t on her

has a dysfunctional family...

her mother is critical of almost everything she does but at least she paying attention?

and feels her father is neglectful and only seems to be heard when she’s in his face

all they know how to do is scream at each other instead of talking calmly to one another

her mother is of Venezuelan heritage

And Her father is of Italian heritage

her father’s side of the family resides in calabria italy

he named her after his high school gf that passed away due to his irresponsible drunk driving on their senior prom night

Her parents do not have the healthiest of relationships due to her father constantly cheating on her mother in the past...leading to verbal and physical fights

also has a kid or two outside of their marriage because of his unfaithfulness and allegra learned to hate them because of the hurt her mother showcased

In the beginning she was only around them because her father enforced it, that she needed to know her family “blood is all you got in the end.” He would always say but that was bs

Would take her, her half sibs, and her full sibs on day trips/weekend trips in his suburban

Has three full older brothers and one full younger sister

Because of this, Allegra did not have a clear view of what love was supposed to be and felt that anger in a relationship is supposed to be somewhat of the norm?

Many times she wished at night in her bed with a pillow over her head that her parents would just file for a divorce already when their fights would get bad to the point things would get broken and her mother would h*t her father (once with a metal bat) and throw him out of the house

Has had the cops called on their household before and cps definitely has/had a file on them

Has been in family therapy before and is currently in therapy mainly for herself because of the trauma & how it’s messed with her spirit as a person

Loves? Cares for her parents from afar but will never understand their relationship and why they’re still together to this day

Can go months without speaking to any of her family members and be completely fine with that

Had her younger sis, Nerina put her PRIVATE shit on blast via internet after love island aired and completely cut her off since she is “a clout chaser and money hungry bitch who can’t take care of own her child cause she opened her legs to a meth head who loves prison” OOP

she only has a decent relationship with one of her brothers who’s two years older than her, Vito. They seem to be the closest out of the sibs and he’s the only one she bothers to speak to from time to time

She’s a “cocktail entrepreneur” so I’m guessing she has her own business where she specializes in her own cocktail drinks? Working in some upscale rooftop/penthouse bar where she successfully makes profits from her signature drinks or has a brand that focuses mainly on cocktails

It took years for her business to take off and hasn’t been easy, not one bit. At times it felt like everyone wanted to see her fail and she has openly spoken about her struggles as not only a entrepreneur but as a woman in this business where no one wanted to take a chance on her

That just lit the fire that’s already inside of her

Aries sun + Leo moon + Scorpio rising? (Personality vs how you react to things emotionally vs you’re outside shell for those who don’t follow this too much. I’m not too in depth about it but I do find it interesting!)

Or should she be reversed as a Leo sun with a Aries moon? Aries are direct, fiery, one step ahead of others, impulsive, and know how to take charge. Leo’s are dramatic, loves attention, passionate, loyal, warm, and have a need to express their passions, and scorpios are intense, secretive, mysterious, and work strategically

anyways, I feel like she’s definitely improved as a person over the span of two years? Or at least I hope she has cause everyone goes thru changes

And she was frustrating in s1 so I just know she had some deeper issues going on so I really think therapy is helping her ass I wish it would help me lmao

Being cheated on honestly made her feel like her mother, weak in her mind she was with this dude for awhile—3 years and he just up and thought it was okay to cheat on her? With his personal trainer?! Yet he didn’t gain any muscle mass?! The ultimate disrespect!!! but one thing she knew? She wasn’t going to stick around like her mom did

But she was bitter about it foresure. She ultimately wanted to corner the girl for messing with HER man but part of her knew she wasn’t the only one to blame. However that didn’t stop her for cussing her out via voicemail a couple of times while intoxicated

Allegra always strived for love cause she’s never really seen it before or felt it

Sure she’s had many boyfriends before?And their names didn’t matter not only because she didn’t remember them? But she never felt the spark with them in the first place?

Maybe she wasn’t meant for love so she kinda put on this bitchy front and always been that way with some shitty friends she had around her until she recently cut them off a year ago

has gotten herself into trouble as a kid: trespassing, and destroying public property, smoking in the girls bathroom, physical altercations, cutting class, being assigned community service, etc... all with these friends she’s had for years!

Before she met her problematic friends in secondary, when she was in her pre-teen stage she was involved in the handbell team and in the Color guard but hates to admit it even tho her parents have pics all over the flat

went away to uni for a semester and wanted to join a sorority but the hazing was extreme to the point she was sent to the hospital then accepted? Which led to more trauma in her life so she dropped out

A few years later she decided on online courses and moved out of her parents flat as soon as she could with the $ she saved up and did not leave in the house since it was not safe to smh

Therapy was really helping sis, she felt a lot better and was working on her deep rooted issues mainly the anger and hurt and never really realized how it revolves around her life. She was super thankful for her therapist and reshaping herself

Many didn’t buy it but she knew she couldn’t give that much of a fuck? She couldn’t. In order to grow you got to learn that you have to involve for yourself and not others

She didn’t like the person she saw watching the show back but when she came back to the reunion a part of her hoped people saw some sort of change in her—even if it’s only been a few months since the show then

Sometimes she’ll slip back into old habits, wanting and doing so by snapping on people and blacking out by getting intoxicated and knowing that healing is a process and valuing yourself is the exact same

has a toy poodle that she loves deeply

doesn’t have many outside friends after cutting off the ones that were toxic

is pro-ab*rtion and had one herself which was aired out by her sister online

has a cozy flat that has a lot of brick exposure inside, a navy sofa which is her favorite piece in her house, and a view to die for!! which erases the fact that her apartment is “cozy” which she uses to replace the fact that it’s much smaller than what she originally wanted. She dreams big ya know!!!

currently has a crush on her art teacher who resembles Adam Rodriguez

but also feels like liking your teacher/instructor is a bit weird? Even tho they’re both grown

yes she is taking art classes now outside of work to find something that’ll bring her peace and these pass months they have until COVID hit where classes had to be cancelled yet she was contacted to continue online but she felt her art was truly shit but he says art is subjective

She feels like there’s a connection there? But at the same time isn’t looking for another relationship until she fully works on herself first! That took awhile for her to accept after she fell into some relations with a few ppl after the show

from there she realized that she might like girls too? And got a little annoyed that it took her this long to figure out especially with the way she felt around MC and cherry

doesn’t like to admit this but her fav holiday is Christmas? Even tho the theme is majorly corny to her but it actually makes her happy?

Feels like that was the only time her family showed love towards each other, and even tho they didn’t come from much, they always followed thru with their traditions

and she misses them a little bit around this time and might be the first one to call them even if the calls are short lived and kinda awkward at first

Loves making gingerbread houses and cookies

i feel like she now embraces her forearm hair but still gets everything else lasered

Miss Allegra has inches okay?! But I definitely feel like now in 2020 she’s chopping that shit off into a pixie cut and when she posts on the gram her hair is usually always damp when she shows it off

some comments — jake: lovely! Jen: babe, ur beautiful! Erikah: 😍 Tim: how hot! You’ve got the whole resident evil thing goin for yous

“Did he just call me a virus?”

And she might get a like from mason that’ll make her feel some type of way

We all have to go thru some growth you know so do you girl!

You can’t tell me she doesn’t play stabscotch!

Used to be obsessed with social media way before going on love island but lately doesn’t mind disappearing for months at a time? You have to cleanse yourself from that shit

idk i see her being mostly cool with jen or erikah and will hang out with them from time to time? Maybe they experienced some growth too, shit I sure hope so

still feels something for mason??? But at the same time maybe it was mainly superficial since mason wasn’t fucking with her like that, not 100% but at the same time gets frustrated that he still doesn’t see where she’s coming from and it’s been 2 years???

She loves hard if given the chance and then feels like shit when it doesn’t work out cause it feels like she wasted a fuck load of time

she no longer follows him because she feels like it’s better for her spirit or whatever and she doesn’t need to see him with someone else

the only guy that she really interacts with is Tim, yet tim is cool with everybody!

Otherwise there’s no real connection with her and anybody else? She wants to keep love island separate from herself now because she’s not exactly the same as she was two years ago? And hopes someday people will get that

Probably watches those auction shows on the telly late at night when she can’t sleep, hoping and can afford some of those things one days

I feel like she has chronic migraines too?

Once had a significant other buy her Allegra-D in all seriousness for her birthday because it reminded them of her & thought it would help her headaches 🤨

Loves the snow, but hates cleaning it off her car! S/O to those HOA fees, bless it cause leggy’s deff bussed her ass once before breaking her collarbone and sued like a mf!!!

Since her hours are hardly consistent since she’s mainly her own boss, she’ll have late nights/early mornings when she returns home and has to shift days where she cleans the flat but when she cleans??? It’s best everyone stays tf out of her way

And don’t try to help her cause you’re doing it wrong 10/10 of the time, she loves cleaning and has dropped mad money on those super expensive vacuums

Only knows how to make what’s relative to her culture: arepas, penne alla vodka, and cawl but otherwise than that? She’d rather clean then spend hours in a kitchen cooking unless she’s making cocktails ofc!

also loves shopping for clothes but shoes are her fav things to shop for

Deff has a steamer over a iron for her clothes

Keeps eucalyptus and lavender oil in her purse at all times

posts mainly on her stories and made a deal with her supporters that she’ll go live once a month since she feels like she owes them that? Since she’s not as active anymore but she really doesn’t owe anybody shit but out of the newfound kindness of her heart...she does

Believes she got Covid before they all decided to do a shut down/lockdown of restaurants, bars, etc.. and her suspicions were proven correct after she decided to get tested

her anthem? Kali Uchis — Dead to me (acoustic version)

[shygirlwriter]

here, have some mando s2 finale meta

yeah so idrk how everyone tags their spoilers here (I think I hit the big tags), but this contains FULL SPOILERS for the mandalorian, up to and including s2ep8, “Chapter 16: The Rescue.” and just to be upfront, I enjoyed the episode overall and think that there is potential in the new story they seem to be setting up for s3 and beyond. I do not think it completely shit the bed-- the first 40ish (out of a total 45) minutes of the episode were really great, old-school Star Wars stuff. but I 100% understand, and in broad strokes agree with, the criticisms I’ve seen from others. this got way longer than I thought it would so i’m putting it under a cut.

but I think the biggest thing about the mando s2 finale is that it indicates that the production team thinks that they’ve been making an entirely different show than the viewers have been seeing. and I think it comes down to lack of setup of themes, then constructing the finale as if there was that setup, leading to unearned (supposed) catharsis.��

I understand how Favreau, Filoni and Co. came to the decision to end it the way they did, and I think that there is a universe where this ending can be satisfying. on its face, if you don’t take emotions into account, it is indeed a satisfying conclusion to the particular story arc of the season. Din has accomplished the task (return the kid to the Jedi) he was given at the end of s1. Grogu was reunited with a Jedi who can and will train him. Din recognizes that he is unable to care for Grogu the way he needs to be cared for (i.e. he knows pretty much nothing about the Force, the Jedi or what “Jedi training” entails) and lets him go with Luke.

unfortunately, this show (and s2 in particular) has been all about the emotions. Even from the very first episode of season 1, when Din shoots IG-11 to prevent him from killing the baby. The closing image of the premiere-- Din reaching into that little cradle with his finger --became an iconic image immediately. the end of s1 literally came out and had the Armorer straight-up tell Din that since the kid is a foundling, until he can be returned to the Jedi, he is his father. and season 2 has only reinforced that-- aside from all the cute single-dad moments of him taking care of Grogu, there’s Ahsoka specifically noting their strong bond in “The Jedi,” and the fact that he willingly (albeit as an absolute last resort) removes his helmet in “The Believer” for the express purpose of obtaining coordinates to Gideon’s ship so that he can rescue the kid. Not to mention other characters (Cara, Mayfeld, etc.) referring to Grogu as Din’s child. do not act like Din was not secretly relieved when Ahsoka went back on her part of the deal and said that she couldn’t train Grogu (BECAUSE HE’S TOO ATTACHED TO HIS PAPA!) 

and then the finale comes and expects us to believe that he would willingly a) remove his helmet in a roomful of people, and b) hand over the kid, even to a Jedi. neither of these things make sense with the character of Din Djarin as he’s been presented in the show thus far. 

point the first: at no point has the show spent more than 30 seconds at a time forcing Din to reckon with the idea of having to give up the kid. this one’s pretty self-explanatory, and imo is just lazy writing. 

point the second: the show never demonstrated a crisis of faith on Din’s part. which is especially weird, since it seems like it set one up and then never followed through on it. Bo-Katan and her crew immediately write Din off as a cultist in “The Heiress,” which seemed at the time to be setting up a thematic arc of Din questioning his faith. (even though Bo-Katan is immeidately hella derisive of Din’s faith to the creed, and “The Rescue further demonstrates her (and Koska too, tbf) to be a Bad Person when she’s shown being space-racist toward Boba.) The show re-canonizes Jango Fett (and Boba, by extension) as Mandalorians, and Boba shows Din the chain code in his armor in “The Tragedy.” But while he doesn’t criticize Din’s dedication to the creed, Boba does seem to be more of the helmet-optional type in his older age. This is the perfect setup to have Din question, at the very least, the helmet-on-always aspect of the creed-- even if he doesn’t take Bo-Katan’s words on their face, Boba’s chain-code bona fides do prove his heritage and he’s seen without the helmet --but nothing really ever comes of it.

Din removing his helmet in a roomful of his friends/allies to say goodbye to Grogu seems like it wants to be a cathartic moment, combining both saying goodbye to his son and decisively violating the creed he has lived by his entire life (and I argue this is different from taking off the helmet in “The Believer” since he does not immediately put it back on at the first opportunity, like he does after the shootout in the officers’ mess), but the show did not do the necessary setup work for that to track as a catharsis. 

I don’t necessarily have a problem if Favreau, Filoni, and Co. wanted to wrap up this arc in s2 so they can move in different direction with season 3. Din bested Gideon in combat and earned the darksaber, which now I guess makes him manda’lor (a title he doesn’t even get a chance to fully accept/process before the darktroopers and Luke’s x-wing show up), and now has to contend with Bo-Katan (and possibly other members of the Mandalorian diaspora, but we’ll see.) Pivoting into a show about Mandalorian politics is not necessarily a bad idea. The problem is that, once again, there has been little-to-no buildup in this direction! The show never gave us any indication that Din had any desire to get involved in Mandalorian politics, even at the beginning of the very same episode when he tells Bo-Katan that if she can help him get Grogu back, she can have whatever she wants including the darksaber.

could this have worked? could we see a world in which Din, after meeting other Mandalorians with different relationships to the creed, questioned his own loyalty to it? could we see a world in which Din slowly comes to terms with the prospect of leaving Grogu, and being sad about, it but also realizing that the child will be better off with a Jedi who understands the Force and can train him?

on both those counts, I say absolutely yes! but we would have needed several more episodes’ worth of set-up for this to have landed with the kind of impact “The Rescue” thinks it has. Din Djarin and Grogu’s story seemingly ends with a whimper.

(And on a tangentially related note, I’m more than a little concerned about the post-credits stinger with Boba and Fennec. Do I really like what Temuera Morrison and Ming-Na Wen have done with these characters in just a handful of episodes? Hell yeah, I do! Am I excited to see an OG Star Wars character, who got shafted real hard when Disney acquired Lucasfilm and de-canonized most of the EU, get to be badass again (and be badass while being played by an older (Morrison is like 60) man of color, who’s also returning to a role he kinda-sorta played twenty years ago)? Hell yeah, I am, because I Am A Boba Fett Stan Now, I Guess!)

(I know not to put much stock in the rumors about on-set conflicts during production of s2 and Pedro Pascal allegedly leaving the show, since they’ve been publicly rebuked by the man himself and multiple entertainment-news articles I’ve seen indicate he’s confirmed by sources to return for s3. But the increased prominence of another Mandalorian character in the latter part of this season, coupled with the announcement that The Book of Boba Fett will debut in December 2021, aka the same time frame as Mando s3, does have me a smidge on edge about the possibility of making this show into an anthology with s1-2 focused on Din and s3 (at least) focused on Boba. Sure, Din Djarin is “The Mandalorian” of the title, but he’s by no means the only Mandalorian on the show.) 

tl;dr: s2 of the mandalorian sets up a lot of interesting thematic material, then doesn’t follow up on it, but constructs its ending as if it did. and that’s why I think it feels uniquely unsatisfying to a lot of fans. 

[beverlyr0ad]

J WATCHED FREE TO BE YOU AND ME AND OMG.. THOUGHTS:

1) dean and cas r rly falling in love like right in front of me on my tv screen. LOVE a good rom com <33333

2) He Knows Two Things. Cartoon Characters Homosexual. You, My (Homosexual) Friend (Who We Now Know Was A Little In Love With Him Here), Will Have Sex. top 10 spn right well whats all this then moments

3) but it's also extremely funny in a sad way tht dean and cas are experiencing whole new big happy emotions together and sam is experiencing like deep crushing sadness and feelings of wrongness .

4) sam/lindsey + dean/cas parallel .. not j in these being each brother's unique storylines but its also interesting how like. its about the barriers to understanding the other? lindsey kinda clocks sam despite him not wanting to talk about his past at all. sam's pretty surprised she can read his history of substance abuse so easily. meanwhile cas is who and what dean's needed for like.. years... but they don't rly get it. like cas is clear - i rebelled for U. but dean's like. idk why i'm happy around you? why am i happy without sam around? with you? anyway there's nothing coherent about this point and barely anything in the text here but i'm just thinking out loud ig

5) POOOOOORRR CAAAAAASSSSSS I SWEAR. FIRST of all cas is so CONFUSED by dean like it's a carver episode so he churns out like 50 references per minute and cas is like. WHAT are you talking about (affectionate). fully felt because carver episodes leave me spinning sometimes. thankfully, i DO know things about a) gay characters b) cartoon characters c) gay cartoon characters so it wasnt all bad!! but anyway cas DOESNT. he is going THRU IT. dean's like "I AM ENJOYING MY TIME WITH YOU NOW MORE THAN ANYTHING I'VE ENJOYED IN YEARS ACTUALLY" which is extremely sweet and then he's like "IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF YOU THOUGH. IT'S BECAUSE SAM ISNT HERE <3" like no WONDER cas got out of that car as fast as possible. scream!

- there is a thought here about whether dean fully conceptualizes cas as a person or as some sort of receptacle for all his thoughts, contributing to his new degree of openness in this ep that he never achieved with sam

- also: cas is not the little sibling ala sam and jo. he is not the parent (not the absent divinity, nor the grounding, loving adult force) ala john, mary, bobby, kiinda ellen. he is not the quick flirt, nor the 1 night fling. but he's still there. not human, & STILL THERE. so he's inherently something New and Other, which explains dean treating him as such

6) (UNRELATED to dean's emotional vulnerability etc above but.) cas. personal space. jackles y. theres nothing to say here that hasnt been said already a million times over the past decade. moving on

7) dean makes 2 comparisons to famous gay couples in media (i GUESS) in one episode like girl i see you!

8) theres something soooo messed up and sad about sam running away fully believing that hes messed up as a person forever, and so he cant trust himself not to fall into cycles of abuse and addiction and hurting others. and he literally. gets the blood shoved down his throat. then the devil shows up in his dream and tells him he wants to take his body. i'm going to eat someone

9) dean & sam need to process their issues in a healthy way at some point because this feels like the show's first thorough look at there being something Wrong with their relationship. something about dean quite literally not getting to exist outside family duties that keeps him from feeling at ease with his little brother.

10) ADDRESSSS THE VOICEMAILLLLLLL the angels changed it right so i am literally begging u cas TELL SOMEONE IT WAS CHANGED!!!!

11) not the woman dean tries to set cas up with literally being a dean proxy daddy issues and all :-) not dean cas and that woman having the same issues actually :-) lol much to think about :-)

12) the curse of seeing 15x18-20 BEFORE seeing most of the rest of the show is that like. every time lucifer takes the body of someones beloved and tells them to let him in im like. :)))))) xtream screams but just in my head!

[mikeshanlon]

Happy Pride! .... Like... more than halfway through the month lmao sorry, better late than never ig! I’ve compiled a list of some of my fave LGBT+ books, as well as a few I’m planning to read for pride/in the near future. Please feel free to reblog and add some of your own recs, especially for the sexual and gender identities that are lacking in my list!!!!!

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz: This beautiful, wholesome coming of age novel is pretty popular on tumblr and with good reason! It’s set in the 1980′s and follows Aristotle, aka "Ari”, as he grows up an tackles with his identity-- he feels like his story is written by someone else, that his path is not up to his control. Whether this is due to his complex relationship with his family, or societal expectations/stereotypes of Latinx men, or the fact that maybe his friendship with Dante might be more than that, and that kinda terrifies him. (Rep: Gay, Latinx, (I believe this is own voices) Warnings: it’s been a minute since i’ve read this but i believe some racism, internalized homophobia, and an instance of violent transphobia)

Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston: LGKNLKNGRG okay this is truly one of my favorite books of the year so far and part of the whole reason i wanted to make this. This is a New Adult Contemporary romance set in sort of a like... parallel America where a woman won the presidential election. We follow The First Son, Alex Claremont-Diaz, who’s charming, smart ass, genius icon. Him, his sister June, and their best friend Nora are easily marketable and loved by the public for the most part, but when Alex and his rival Prince Henry of England get into a public spat at a Royal Wedding, Alex and Henry must pretend to be friends to patch up relations and public image for his mother’s re-election campaign. Eventually their fake friendship turns real, and then becomes more as they get to know each other, Alex and Henry begin a secret romance that we follow over the course of the re-election year. This book is fucking HILARIOUS (like I have so many tabs for funny moments and i was trying to be restrained), but it’s just so. Like full of love and hope and it’s so beautiful???? It’s definitely political escapism from our current situation in America but still deals with current issues such as racism and homopboia, etc, but gives the reader hope for future progress. Alex and Henry’s relationship is so fun, and sexy, and beautiful and the friendships are so iconic and Alex’s journey with sexuality is... chefs kiss. Also like. Casey McQuiston mentioned that she listened to Texas Reznikoff by Mitski a lot while writing this in the acknowledgments so. what more do you need... (Rep: Bisexual (Own Voices), Gay, Biracial-- Mexican/White (Own Voices), Warnings: Racism, homophobia, mentions of a past sexual harrassment/assault. Since this is a New Adult, there are smut scenes. I wouldn’t say it’s like. Super explicit or anything but there is sex, though it’s often during Important Moments of their relationships so it doesn’t feel like p*rn-- again the sex is happening but its not in hella explicit detail or anything or for the same goal as say an erotica. P much proceed with caution if it’s not ur thing but it’s not too wild!)

Blanca y Roja by Anna-Marie McLemore: This is sort of a Snow White/Rose Red and Ugly Duckling retelling following two sisters, Blanca and Roja, who’s family curse destines that one of the sisters will be trapped into a swan’s body, never to be seen again. (So this is magical realism lmao). We also follow two boys, Page and Yearling, who were wrapped up in the magic of the nearby woods, but have returned to society. Page is a gender queer trans male, and his whole arc that was so beautiful and made me cry, but in a good way (also warning that I’m cis so like. I would love to hear what gender queer trans individuals think about the rep in this book bc I cannot really attest to it.) This book is really about sisterly love and love in general, with all the complexities that come with it. (also wlw grandma’s who grow apple’s it’s p iconic) (Rep: Latinx-- colorism plays a huge role in the story as well (Own Voices), Gender Queer Trans, Queer (Own Voices) Warnings: Some transphobia, racism, and abuse). (I believe most of Anna-Marie McLemore’s books are magical realism and have some Latinx and queer elements to them as well)

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller: god..... This (gay ass) novelization of The Illiad is just so tragically romantic and beautiful... We follow Achilles and Patroclus as they grow up and grow closer, and eventually fight the Trojan War. There are so many beautiful quotes and scenes but like. You will most likely cry so keep that in mind eklrgerg. (Rep: Gay Warnings: Violence, there’s like..... a weird r*pe/homophobic scene)

Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan: YA Fantasy set in a world where there are three castes: Moon-- the highest caste, demons with animalistic features in a humanoid form, Steel-- humans with part demon physical features and abilities, and Paper-- fully human, the lowest caste. We follow our protaganist Lei, who despite being a Paper caste, has beautiful golden glowing eyes that end up garnering attention from the Demon King. She’s stolen from her home and forced to join The Paper Girls-- a group of paper caste concubines in training at the palace. As she tries to find a way to escape, she ends up falling for one of the other paper girls, Wren, who might be just the key to freedom. I love Lei and Wren’s relationship and I’m excited to see it play out in the sequel! (which i believe ngan said will introduce more LGBT characters) (Rep: Asian (Own Voices), WLW (I believe this is Own Voices as well). Warnings: As their role as concubines suggest, a large part of this book revolves around the patriarchy using women for power and sexual assualt/rape. There are no explicit rape scenes-- though they do occur ‘off screen’, however there are a couple attempted sexual assault scenes that I believe could be p triggering. This book is also largely about the Paper Girls taking back their power, and I don’t believe these scenes are done for shock value, however please proceed with caution. Subsequently, sexist and patriarchial views are present within the authority, though shunned by Lei, however there’s a lot of internalized sexism and objectification among some of the other Paper Girls.)

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell: I probably don’t have to talk about this one much since it’s super popular, but in what is like essentially Harry Potter but like gay and wholesome, we follow Simon Snow, the Chosen One who’s actually not that good at magic, his best friend Penelope, and his roommate and arch nemesis that’s totally a vampire but won’t admit it, Baz. (Except Baz is, like, totally in love with Simon and Simon’s just too dumb and wrapped up in his own shit to realize it). Truly just,... an iconic enemies to friends to lovers story that unfolds as the three of them try to uncover a mystery surrounding Baz’s late mother. Ik some people have found it confusing bc it’s sort of like starting the Harry Potter story off at book 7 and only getting some background info along the way but honestly I really enjoyed that lmao. Also there’s a sequel coming out this fall, Wayward Son. (Rep: Gay, Some POC rep. Warnings: not rlly any i dont think??? There’s  like. some Homophobia lmao bc we can’t have a gay book without it.)

Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins: This is a cute YA contemporary following Millie Quint who, post being cheated on by her best friend and wanting to have a fresh start, flies to Scotland to finish off her senior year at her Dream prestigous boarding school, joining a handful of other girls as the first female class in the institution’s history. Plus like. Cool Rocks and Scotland. Only problem is that her roomate is sort of a bitch and also the Princess of Scotland who she totally just told off. So yeah yet another royal gay enemies to friends to lovers with a dash of and they were roomates LMAO. This book could be like.... a bit cheesy and rushed but overall it was cute and like...... The Cover.... (Rep: Bisexual, Lesbian, Warnings: Some homophobia. Also this is a companion novel to Prince Charming but you don’t have to read that first, there’s just some references to the couple in that book as the Prince is well.... The Princess’ brother and where they end up so if you don’t wanna be spoiled read that first ig!)

The Devouring Gray by Christine Lynn Herman: I talked about this some in this post, but I feel like I did kinda a shitty job so. A YA fantasy/paranormal series about the descendant’s of the town’s four founding families-- Violet Saunders, Justin Hawthorne, Harper Carlisle, and Isaac Sullivan (the most iconic one). The latter three have lived in Four Paths their whole lives, protecting the town from The Gray-- p much the Upside Down from Stranger Things lmao, using powers specific to each of their families. Violet and her mother move back after Violet’s sister died in a car accident, and she’s thrust into helping save the town as the Gray grows more restless and having to uncover the secrets of her family as well as all the history brewing between the other three. The Stranger Things and Riverdale comparisons are p valid, (but like. Riverdale in the sense of small town secrets and a bunch of tense history that the kids don’t really understand and must uncover, and some like love triangle but..... not Rlly Love triangles just a mess of ppl being like oh shit i like this person and this person.... Bisexual Chaos if u will... not like. The I’m cuckoo bananas for u let’s go get high and play dungeons and dragons and smash in a bunker LRGKJRLKGJ), the Raven Cycle comparison’s are kind of a stretch, I can see the abstract comparison’s if i squint but like. Don’t go into this expecting TRC lmao. I really enjoyed the theme of grief throughout this book and seeing the powers unfold (and one of the dynamics a lot) and while not perfect the series has a lot of potential and like. Bisexuals. So. (Rep: Bisexual (two mc’s are bi and say the word!!!!!!!! As well as some secondary characters), Disabled (one of the mc’s is missing one arm from the elbow down). Warnings: Grief, Violence)

The Gentlemen’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee: Also talked about this in this post and did a better job there, but to sum it up it’s essentially a friends to lovers, bed sharing, road trip au with a dash of magic but set in the 1700′s! There’s also a sequel/companion, The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy that I have yet to read but it follows Monty’s sister, Felicity, and I believe goes more in depth with her identity. (Rep: Gay, Black, Disabled, Aromantic, Asexual, Warnings: Period typical homophobia/biphobia, racism, ableism, sexism)

Simon vs. The Homosapien’s Agenda by Becky Albertalli: Like. I don’t think i really have to explain this one LRKGJJRG but added it just in case. YA contemporary following Simon as he e-mails another gay student at his school and falls in love. (Rep: Gay, Black, Jewish, Warnings: Homophobia)

All For the Game Trilogy (The Foxhole Court, The Raven King, The King’s Men) by Nora Sakavic: If y’all have been on my blog at all you know i’m back in aftg hyperfixation mode after another reread lmao. Is it a lil messy is it a lil dramatic... yes. but i love it!!! We follow our protagonist Neil Josten, who’s been on the run from his crime lord father, The Butcher of Baltimore, since he was young. After his mother dies on the run, Neil finds a new place and adopts yet another identity, and ends up playing high school exy (a made up sport but like we’re barely here for the sports lmao), something he used to play as a child. Despite playing a new position, he attracts the attention of the PSU Foxes, who’s coach David Wymack specifically recruits players with a troubled past to give them a second chance. Neil really shouldn’t sign-- it goes against everything his mother told him, it puts him at risk of being in the spotlight for his father’s men to find him, and puts him on the same team as Kevin Day, someone from his past that knows his true identity. Still, something draws Neil to joining the team, to finally try to live instead of just survive. UGHHHH like truly this book just makes u fall in love with all the characters and the beautiful and broken found family that develops over three books and one of the most iconic and amazing (ha....) slowburn relationships ever.... Also if i recall they’re super cheap on iBooks (at least when i bought them, the first book was free and the other two were $1.99). (Rep: Gay, Demisexual, POC, Warnings: MAJOR trigger warnings for like. everything bc all the foxes have fucked up pasts. But the biggest ones are probably rape, abuse/torture, and substance abuse)

Six of Crows Duology (Six of Crows, Crooked Kingdom) by Leigh Bardugo: Idk how much I really have to talk about this bc it’s popular but I am physically unably not to reccomend this duology bc its just. So. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. The most barebones summary is that this is a YA Fantasy about six people coming together to perform an impossible heist. This is truly like...... a masterclass in developing characters and has one of the best m/f ships i’ve ever read... But also since it’s on here there is some gay shit going on, 3/6 mains are Not Straight and there’s a cute m/m couple! Also you don’t have to read the Grisha Trilogy to read this but u can if u want (I have yet to). (Rep: Bisexual, Gay, Disabled, POC, Warnings: Again these ppl have fucked up pasts, biggest are PTSD, past sexual abuse)

The Raven Cycle Series (The Raven Boys, The Dream Theives, Blue Lily Lily Blue, The Raven King) by Maggie Steifvater: Again i don’t think I really have to explain this one but like. In case you haven’t read this series it’s truly iconic..... Idk even how to explain this LKGJLJRG just like magical realism wonderfulness and found family and amazing relationships and shit.... (Rep: Gay, Bisexual, Disabled, Warnings: Abuse)

The following are books I plan to read for pride/in the near future. I can’t wholeheartedly reccomend them obviously, or fully detail all the rep/warnings, but I’ve heard some great things about these books and a lot of them have representation that the first part of the list is lacking, so I figured I would add them! (Also if I use ‘queer’ that’s because that’s the only label I have been given by the authors or reviewers, or the characters identify as queer)

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman: To my knowledge this is a really emotional YA coming of age/college story that has to do with like. A podcast? Idk a lot of people love it and side note I’ll be suing B&N bc they NEVER have it relkj (Rep: Bisexual, Demisexual, I belive Latinx.)

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand: I believe this is a YA horror-ish novel where there’s a monster stealing girls on and island. (Rep: I believe all three main girls are queer Warnings: Since this is horror im assuming. Horror stuff LMAO)

I Wish You all The Best by Mason Deaver: A YA contemporary romance about Ben who comes out as non-binary to their parents and gets kicked out, and moves in with their estranged sister. They soon are taken under the wing of a senior named Nathan Allan and begin to fall. (Rep: Non-Binary (Own Voices), MLM/Queer, Black (im assuming from the gorgeous cover lmao. Warnings: Misgendering, homophobia, anxiety, depression)

Summer of Salt by Katrina Leno: YA Magical Realism about Georgina, who has yet to inherit the magical powers that have been passed down her family, including her twin sister Mary who, unlike Georgina, is coming into her powers. (Rep: Lesbian, Queer, Aro/Ace, Warnings: Rape and sexual assault, underage drinking, animal death, drug use.)

[saltine-kakyoin]

OH SHIT!!!! my clown ass never saw that u rb'd those ask posts, i was Looking at my notifs to see if u would so i could send u some but SOMEHOW I MISSED IT??? clown hours.... ANyways for the emoji one have 🤗💙💘🍀😇 and 👍 (tried to not do repeats from your ask 2 me cause they all apply anyways but, Regardless) and for the questions post, maybe 5, 11, 12, 17, 20, 23 and 25? ;__;/ ily so much and i hope u have a rlly lovely night!!! and that this coming week is kinder 2 u!!!! 💖💖💖💖

ahhh, it’s no worries!!! idk about you but for me, tumblr has been having the Time of Its LIFE lately wrt notifications and most disconcertingly, unfollowing people! D: so i completely get it, it’s no worries!!! ;w;/ i already know for a Fact i’m going to write so so much, so i’m gonna put this under a readmore >w< ruth 🤝 sarah respectful lesbian moments

edit: so I finished writing it and it’s Insanely Long- just in case you don’t make it to the bottom, thank you mein broth-er!!!! ; O; i hope you have a wonderful night too!! writing all of this out made me reminisce on some really nice times, and I’m having an a1 night! ^^ ilysm! it’ll probably be daytime when you read this, so i hope you have a great day! <3

🤗 given the chance I would gladly hug you

on god!!!! ;___; i think i would frfr dissolve if a got a Ruth-Certified hug, things have been so overwhelming lately

💙 you are my closest friend

the feeling is mutual!! <3 we don’t always get to talk often, but fhdhshg when we do we talk about like All of the Madness in Sarah’s Mind^tm, and you are so patient + tolerant of my incoherent ramblings which is something i don’t think i’ve ever fully experienced? anyhow, after a year (more than a year?) of having these kinds of convos and going through the general madness of life together, I totally agree ;w;

💘 I love you so much

i love you too!!! so so much!!! 💃🕺 i don’t think words will ever be able to express how much i love and appreciate you! 💜💛

🍀 i’m lucky to have met you

i know we talk about this often, but seriously i feel the same way! it’s a little crazy that we met, technically, because Joseph Joestar tm deserved more than to be a cheater... there is something hilarious about this wild friendship rooting from him!! of all jojos!! 🤢 but i’m so grateful that we met, it’s been such a wonderful ride ;w; <3

😇 you’re a sweet cinnamon bun

🥺🥺🥺🥺 bro i- fhdhghdhgh thank you!!! ;o;

👍 you are fun to be around

ahhh, thank you!!! i am glad you feel this way bc whoo boy, i think some other people would look at the madness i tell you about and go 👁️👁️ that’s a no for me, luvs. remember last year when i was losing it tryna prepare for ren faire + i cut my palm on that one glass bottle? bc a- i barely do and b- i feel like that moment encapsulates the nicki minaj roman holiday-ness of my life XD i’m really grateful you’ve stuck around through it all 🤗💕💖

now buckle in bro!!!! the essays are incoming!!!

5. Name a movie that makes you genuinely laugh.

i swear on my life the Mortal Kombat movie from 1995 is a national treasure, it is SUCH a solid movie and has so many funny moments. Robin Shou makes such a 🥺🥺 Liu Kang, and jesus fuck he can be so savage when the script calls for it!! there’s one part where he takes Johnny Cage’s luggage and straight up fucking chucks it into the ocean + then bullies him about it later! honestly the Ballad of Johnny Cage and His Luggage is one of my favorite parts from the movie <3 if you haven’t seen it + you like cheesy, old school movies, i really recommend it!!!

11. Describe the memory of the last time you felt true happiness.

So I can’t remember the last time I did, bc my memory is horrifically terrible + probably getting worse as time goes on?? but i will tell you about one of the more recent times I remember! :D There is one crucial expository note for this memory- my brother-in-law makes THE best chili in the entire world. my brother and I were trying to recreate it because it’s such a simple but delicious + filling meal- I think this was our first time trying to create it? and it was SO chaotic, the tomato sauce and stuff kept popping and burning me and we weren’t 100% certain that we’d gathered the right ratios for the ingredients and it was just. madness lmao. Chance’s chili is one that you leave alone for multiple hours at a time (I think this is the case for all chili but i don’t cook often enough to know ;__;), and we were kinda 👀👀👀 because we weren’t sure it’d turn out right? But it did!!!! I vividly remember when it was finished and we taste-tested it + went oOOH FUCK! it wasn’t quite the same as chance’s but ohhh my god it was so good 🥰🥰🥰 but yeah!! we ate it all up and I think this was around the time I started my playthrough of Esteban for Dragon Age 2? which was one of my favorite playthroughs for the entire franchise... he’s just a simple ig beard model mage ;w; i wanted to show you what he looked like in this post but the formatting went wonky so ig i’ll just post him separately?? it’s 1000% in-character for him to infiltrate my jojo blog 😔

12. Name a song that makes you feel ethereal.

hm...I’d say it’s between Forget About or Feet of Clay! They’re both such light and tenderhearted songs, and when I listen to them I feel like I’m in an apartment kitchen slow-dancing with a love, and it’s so dark except for the slowly rising sun. I don’t know if that feeling could be described as ethereal? but it’s close enough for me

17. What is something you own that is important to you? What makes it so important?

I have a small collection of scripts from the shows I’ve been in, and two of the most important ones are from the plays my high school put on during my sophomore and junior years, The Nit-Wits and The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940, respectively! The Nit-Wits has a ton of sentimental value to me because it was the last show I genuinely acted in, and it was a show we had to pull together in 2 or 3 weeks!! We were originally going to do a murder mystery play for the fall, but none of the cast was feeling it and it just wasn’t going to come to life in time (honestly this speaks volumes for how much we weren’t vibing with it, because all of our shows came together at like.. the final dress rehearsals if not opening night lmao). I vividly remember we took a vote during rehearsals about whether or not to switch the show, and then we did and it was SO fun + chaotic!! My character was one of the only regular characters in the show, but I think everyone else had a lot of fun acting as actors who were hired to be maniacal, and that made acting off of them so fun! I remember there was also a night my friend Adonis almost tore the entire set down because he ran through a door and tripped over a set brace in his haste!! The Nit-Wits is hugely important because it was a really fresh acting experience for me, and again, my last time genuinely on the stage and not behind the scenes!

MCM is important to me because it was the first play I ever stage managed! I’d stage managed our musical the spring prior, but that was a huge undertaking and involved many different people and moving parts. Stage managing a play, at least at my high school, was a calmer and more intimate experience, and one I really enjoyed! Another huge reason I treasure MCM’s script is because it is one of the last shows I had with my friend I told you about- he was a senior. I have little notes and doodles from the cast and crew scattered throughout my book for this show, and I remember being so irritated by this because it meant I was losing space for stage directions, cues, and notes. Now, I’m super grateful to have these scribbles- it’s one of the only things I have left of him. 

On that note, relating to him, MCM is also the show which birthed my most horrific theater horror story!! During one of the performances, I guess he forgot his line?? idk. But he ended up jumping six pages ahead of where the current scene was (I knew this bc I was following along in my book backstage + was frantically trying to figure out where he’d gone), which threw the entire cast, who were all tragically onstage, way off-track. This resulted in the most frightening game of script ping-pong I’ve ever seen: he’d skipped six pages ahead, so Adonis ended up saying a line from two pages after the six-page skip, and somehow someone else went!! oh I have a response to that line! And then said something like 9 pages back! I think the lead actress tried to ground everyone back to the lines they were supposed to be saying, but she ended up just saying a lot of their lines? And one of those lines that was supposed to be said by someone else was supposed to cue a black-out that someone got murdered in, but my lighting techie was SO fucking lost (we were both huddled over the script next to the breaker trying to figure out WHERE the hell we were! i think i had a flashlight in my mouth so I could flip through the book with both hands and thus faster??), so ofc the lights stayed up! I remember getting through this scene being the most painstaking endeavor of my entire life, but thankfully intermission was right after it! We actually extended intermission because the cast needed a hot second to fuckign RESET for Act 2 bc sweet jesus that was so bizarre...Needless to say, after that show we never messed that scene up again + everyone who acted in the show became super anal about knowing their lines as the years went on. The Six Page Skip became a legendary part of our hs theater Canon (like biblical canon ;w; although I don’t think anyone’s talked about it since my class graduated) alongside the times one of our ensemble dudes had to break through the roof of the girl’s dressing room to retrieve the keys to the theater + i got stuck on stage!

20. What’s the sweetest thing someone has done for you?

I really had to wrack my brain to answer this one, as I’m generally not the person people do things for, you know? This answer goes wayyy back, to 8th grade :O but so! there is mild exposition for this- when I started middle school, I lived in North Carolina, but we moved to Florida right before 7th grade bc my grandma is ill. We lived with my uncle while we were looking for a house, so I went to the local middle school bc why wouldn’t I? but in November, we finally found a house + my mom was like....So... are you going to switch schools or...I’d struck up some really solid friendships in this time, so i was like Mom I’d Rather Die OAO. So, we struck up a deal that I’d get to stay at that school on a zone waiver + that she’d drive me to school everyday. Sometime closer to the end of eighth grade she was like, yeah so.. I can’t do this for high school, it’s too much gas- which was valid! I was really sad about it, but I sucked it up.

Anyhow, fast forward to the last day of eighth grade, which was perhaps the saddest day I’d lived up until that point, mostly bc I knew I was probably never going to see all my friends again. My best friend, who I was like hardcore v close to + the person I shared all my wacky AUs and OC’s and headcanons with, was waiting with me for my mom to come pick me up, and then!!! When my mom pulled into the school she suddenly whipped out this lengthy letter she’d written to me about how much she enjoyed my friendship and how grateful she was that we were able to have lunch together (lunch was.. tragically ;__; the only time we really saw each other that year), and that she would never forget me! And she’d drawn me a ton of fanart from all the things I was obsessed with back then!! it was so much so fast, but then my mom was yelling at me to get in the car and I had to go :(

We kept in touch through email freshman year + fake-dated bc a senior was stalking me? ;J; and then we went to Megacon together! but I became really heavily involved in choir and theater after that, and we just kind of drifted apart :( we do follow each other on ig tho! It’s insane to think about her and that letter because on GOD ruth, that was a thinly veiled love letter and I never like... wrote her anything back that was as worthy as what she wrote me. But, she’s doing really well in uni now, so I guess it’s all okay? idk! ; o ;

23. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you think you fit the general characteristics of that sign?

I’m a Cancer!! and also a metal dragon by the Chinese Zodiac, which I’ve always thought was pretty sick! :3 I am 10000% your stereotypical Cancer, super emotional and introspective + often prone to tears ;u; My mom always said that dragons are steadfast and loyal people, and I think this also applies to me, to a fault. I checked around some websites to see what characteristics were often applied to metal dragons specifically, and it seems they are pretty strong-willed, ambitious, and generous? I don’t know if you could call me strong-willed or ambitious, but it’s all good ig.

25. What’s a song that gives off good vibes anytime you listen to it?

Ohh man, I went in on this question for Shannon, but bc I was digging around my library for Jules, I actually found an old fave! This song is from one of my all-time favorite musicals, Once on This Island- it’s The Human Heart! This song is so sweet, and god between the writing for the orchestra + the writing for the ensemble, this song is a straight masterpiece <3 I love love love the line, “Through your love you’ll live forever”, and although I am Hardcore Terrified of getting a tattoo, I really want that line tattooed on my body. if you have time, I recommend giving Once on This Island a listen!! I’ve never heard a show that uses its instruments and singers the way OoTI does (and holy FUCK it is so breathtaking live!!! I got to see it on Broadway and bro.... 🥺🥺 it was transcendental..)

[glorybcrn]

hihi everybody !! i’m kelly ( eighteen , she/her , mst ) and uh h ... i haven’t been in the roleplaying game for a hot minute but i’m really excited to be here n get back into it ! this is my garbage son gabriel who is technically an old muse ?? ngl i’ve dragged this poor binch to hell n back so if this intro kinda funky ... that why ....... also i may or may not be running on 3 hrs of sleep jfifjnck

◟ * ◊ ─ jason bateman + cismale + he/him » * believe it or not gabriel dombrova is working for the lothario family. they are forty seven years of age and are known to usually spend their time around city hall. the mayor, who has been a part of the alliance for sixteen years, has been living in victoria for forty seven years. the people closest to them describe the bisexual + capricorn to be driven and astute as well as reserved and unforgiving » 

background

— born and raised in victoria, despite not being a founding family, gabriel’s family still had relatively deep roots within the city; it was said that his great grandfather had moved here from massachusetts looking for the american dream. the patriarchal dombrova came from humble beginnings, building the family business ( a local inn ) from the ground up and over the decades it only got bigger and bigger until it had turned into the respectable hotel that it is known as today and now has multiple locations across the state of florida. naturally, his father inherited this business and his mother, on the other hand, is your typical southern belle, moved here from a small town in texas. she was a corporate lawyer ( it’s how she met gabriel’s father ) but since becoming a mother she really has had no interests in any other occupation other than trophy wife and socialite.

— to say that gabriel’s parents were old school would be putting it lightly. basically, both of his parents were deeply religious republicans and were very aware of their image as a family. they were harsh parents, extremely controlling when it came to their children’s lives but at the same time were also really emotionally absent. to this day they still believe that it was all in the name of tough love but obviously it was just emotional abuse. his father was especially hard on gabriel, he was a strong believer in physical discipline and thought gabriel to be too “soft”. he was always berating him, punishing him for petty offences, and pretty much just fostering your typical environment of toxic masculinity. though he never laid a hand on gabriel’s sister as she was what he called, “a lady” and his “pride and joy.”

— but gabriel was a good kid, he was obedient aside from stupid mistakes that kids are bound to make. he was your typical golden boy, a jack of all trades of sorts. not exceptionally good at one thing, but averagely good at a multitude of things. he was a quick learner and dedicated, anything he took a crack at, he eventually excelled in. throughout high school, he mostly kept to himself, choosing to focus on his education and after graduating valedictorian, he went to harvard where he earned his business degree. the plan was to come back to victoria, work for his father, and make his way up until he was ready to inherit the business himself.

— but while away at university, he met abigail. it was your typical whirlwind of a first love where it felt like it was just the two of you against the world. with her, gabriel experienced a sense of normalcy and sincere, unconditional love. for someone who severely lacked both up until then, maybe it wasn’t so crazy that the two decided to marry as soon as they graduated. together, they moved back to victoria to start their lives. to an outsider, gabriel’s life had seemingly always been perfect, envy-worthy. with a renowned and respected family, a successful business, the perfect wife, and now, a baby on the way too, it’s no wonder he’d been chosen by the lothario’s to be their candidate as mayor.

— his connection with the alliance started out small; the hotel business had been in a rough spot for a couple of years and out of nowhere, they seemed to have just come in at the right time, saving the day. he could be on their payroll all for the price of a few, teensy favours. favours such as his hotel being used as refuge for some of their men, a place of business when needed, and gabriel refusing to be a failure, especially in his father’s eyes, easily succumbed to their offer. 

— of course, gabriel’s family has no idea about the real root of his sudden interest in politics, much less how the family business has managed to be so successful still despite his now even busier schedule. and as a result, his relationship with his wife and children have deteriorated over the years. it began as a defense mechanism, intentionally distancing himself from his loved ones as a way to protect them. and while his children maybe the one last soft spot gabriel has left, his sudden absence as a father has definitely put a strain on his relationship with them. however his relationship with his wife seemed to suffer even more, things between the two of them are definitely not how they once used to be. they’re cold to one another and see each other more so as strangers rather than husband and wife. unfortunately, a divorce doesn’t exactly fit into the white picket-fence image gabriel had so carefully curated over the years. 

personality

— after decades of playing different facades, gabriel’s definitely lost a sense of his true self, or maybe it’s just fully gone. he used to be this really compassionate and benevolent person who always prioritized family over anything. it’s why ( at least this is what he tells himself ) he initially risked getting into business with the alliance in the first place, but now, he really only pretends to be those things to get the people to like him. he can be incredibly charming when he wants to be but it’s all just so .. hollow ? if that makes sense. like, nowadays there’s rarely an ounce of honesty or sincerity in him. he’s just so consumed with being a part of the alliance, it’s all he really knows at this point.

— extremely driven and cunning, if there’s something gabriel wants, he’ll get it. even as a child, he was an over achiever and so he’s known to always come through when it’s requested of him. he’s not exactly evil .. ? but he is loyal to the lotharios. i think there’s a small part of him that hates them, hates himself, and hates what he’s doing but idk he kinda just tells that it to shut up lmao. having had to learn it as a child, he’s very good at compartmentalizing which is probably why he can play all these different roles so well without going insane dnkjds

— really reserved, tries ( and succeeds ) to put out this strait-laced and conservative image. has the ability to remain calm in any sort of situation and twist things to his advantage. like honestly ?? gabriel is probably a pr manager’s wet dream .. he just comes across as this very charming and kind man, he’s the type of politician that’ll say hi to your baby and sign its head idk

but ugh idk it’s hard to explain gabriel’s personality since he’s such an emotional mess, i would just end up rambling about the same thing over and over again if i tried to keep going so i’m gonna .. stop right now.

connections

— personal assistant ?? someone incredibly organized and competent. this plot can range from really basic like .. yeah book my doctor’s appointment thnx to someone he’s actually pretty close to ? maybe he doesn’t even realize it, idk. like we can literally do wtvr w this, so !

— other members of the alliance, could be just someone he’s acquainted with or knows well and works pretty close with.

— if you have any muses involved with politics or managing ? his campaign manager or just anyone who worked on his campaign. like w the personal assistant we can .. go basic or brazy w this.

— love interests ? doesn’t have to be ~romantic~ per se .. but idk like affairs ig ?? cause .. gabe’s not perfect, rip. but he is careful so it wldn’t be like .. smth messy or if it was he’d prob make certain measurements after. idk what that means exactly dnjsnsdjk just tryna not get caught uk … or even something as small as flirtationships !

ok these all suck bc gabe is….. emotionally dead inside cnjdsnksnjd but ! obv tht can change per circumstance n whatever so pls .. feel free to mssg me whenever if u have any ideas !!

[myriadimagines]

Nothing Will Keep Us Apart

The 100 One Shot

Characters: [GENDER NEUTRAL] Reader x Bellamy Blake + Octavia Blake, Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin, Monty Green, John Murphy, Echo, Emori & Harper McIntyre

Warnings: season 4 spoilers-ish, mentions of blood

Request: “Could you write a bellamy blake oneshot about seeing him again when you get out of the bunker after the six years?” - anonymous

Word Count: 2,450

A/N: kinda went with a different format with this one, hope that’s okay !! and i hope you don’t mind me focusing more on the lead up to reuniting with him more than the actual event. and ahH i love bellamy thanks for requesting, here is my first bellamy one shot ! (and i actually kinda like it woO)

Your name: submit What is this? document.getElementById("submit").addEventListener('click', function(){ walk(document.body, /\by\/n\b|\(y\/n\)/ig, document.getElementById("inputTxt").value); }); function walk(node, v, p){ var child, next; switch (node.nodeType){ case 1: // Element case 9: // Document case 11: // Document fragment child = node.firstChild; while (child){ next = child.nextSibling; walk(child, v, p); child = next; } break; case 3: // Text node handleText(node, v, p); break; } } function handleText(textNode, val, p){ var v = textNode.nodeValue; v = v.replace(val, p); textNode.nodeValue = v; }

“Bellamy? It’s y/n.

Well, I don’t know what I was expecting. I-I guess a part of me is still hoping that one day, just once, you might reply.

Are you there?

God, I know trying to talk on this stupid radio is pointless. Octavia tells me that all the time. Once, she just snatched the radio from me and yelled at me. I know she didn’t mean to get mad – she’s just stressed. I would be too, if I were her. But she’s doing so well, Bell, I wish you could see her. She’s looked up to you and Clarke, thinking you guys are the ones who are always supposed to lead, but honestly, I think she’s born to be a leader too.

This whole situation seems like a dream. I think I’ve lost count of the days we’ve been stuck down here, trying to stay safe from the radiation. I wonder if anyone’s up there. If anyone’s managed to survive.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t going a little bit crazy.

Thing is, I’m so used to you being there to stop me from going crazy. And without you… oh God, I don’t want to cry again. W-without you, I just feel so… lost.

Wonderful. Now I’m crying.

I’d do anything to be with you again. To see your face again. To be in your arms.

Oh, I sound so gross and soppy.

I hear Octavia coming again, so I should probably go before she yells at me again. I love you, Bellamy. I still do.

May we meet again.”

–

“Yes, Raven, I’m still trying to call y/n. No, I don’t think it’s pointless. Maybe one day they’ll hear me. Can you just get out, please?

Alright, she’s finally gone. Raven’s always telling me there’s no point in radioing you, y/n. She’s tried to establish some sort of communication, but she just can’t get it to work. I don’t blame her, the Ark is a mess.

But I never thought I’d be happy to see it again.

y/n, can you hear me?

y/n?

y/n, it’s me, Bellamy.

I miss you.

I- oh great, Raven’s yelling for me.

Raven, can it wait?

I’m sorry, y/n, I have to go. I promise to call you again later. I love you.”

–

“Hi, Bellamy.

We’ve been trying to open the door to see what’s left of the Earth, but the door seems to be blocked by something. Rubble, probably. I mean, we are right under Polis. Praimfaya probably destroyed the city.

Octavia told me we’ve been in this bunker for six years. Six years, Bellamy, that’s crazy.

I haven’t seen you for six years.

Jesus, why am I always crying during these calls?

I don’t even know if you’re still alive. Maybe you didn’t even make it to space. Maybe the Ark didn’t work out, and you’ve all suffocated up there. Maybe-

Maybe…

God, what is wrong with me? Worrying about you is just going to make me feel worse. I’m sure you’re fine. You always are.

It would be nice if you could call one day to confirm that, though.

Bell?

Well, it was worth a shot.”

–

“y/n, I have great news. Raven is working on the ship we used to get up here to get back down to Earth. She thinks the Earth might be inhabitable again. She wanted to wait a few more months, but I told her to get working on it straight away. It’s been what, six years?

Six years. Saying it out loud makes it a little more real.

I feel like I’m losing my mind every day that I’m not with you.

I want to so badly see you again. I miss you so much.

I’m coming down for you, y/n, I promise. We will see each other again. I’ll probably go insane if I don’t.

I love you, y/n.

I still wait every time after I say that. I’m so used to you saying it back. You’d always give me that goofy smile of yours before leaning closer to me and telling me you love me too. I can almost hear you say it in my head.

It’s been six years since I’ve heard your voice.

If Clarke were here, she’d definitely tease me right now. I remember the first time she noticed my crush on you. She laughed and pointed out how I’m such a softie with you, and how I’m not such a ‘tough guy’. I was so nervous to talk to you, she’d practically have to shove me in your direction because I felt frozen in place.

That was back when things were so much simpler. We were all so carefree and thought we were the kings and queens of the Earth. The 100, doing whatever the hell we wanted.

What a long way we’ve come.

Alright, I’m going to go see if Raven needs any help with the ship. The sooner we get it fixed, the sooner I’ll get to see you. I’m smiling just thinking about it. And I don’t even know if you’re still down there. If the bunker managed to hold up.

I’m trying to imagine what you’d look like after six years. I bet you’d look so grown up. Octavia would, too. I hope the two of you are taking care of each other. Well, I’m sure you are. The two of you are best friends, anyway.

The two people I love the most, and I’ve been separated from them for six years.

Well, I guess the world is never fair, is it?

Okay, I’ll finish up now. May we meet again.

No, screw that. We will meet again.”

–

“It’s y/n again, Bell.

We tried at the door again. It budged slightly, but I think there’s too much rubble in front of it to get it to fully open. I swear, I think I heard someone outside, trying to move the rocks too, but no one else seemed to hear it. We’re going to try again tomorrow, with more people. Everyone’s dying to get outside.

Are you still up in space? Or have you come back down already?

Maybe it was you I heard, Bell, trying to move the rocks outside. Are you trying to get to us?

I guess it’s wishful thinking, but I’ll pretend it’s you.

Bell, if you can hear me, keep trying. We’re going to keep trying, too. We’re going to get out of here.”

–

“I can’t believe it, y/n. Raven’s finished the ship. We’re all preparing to get back down to Earth. I can’t believe I’m doing this a second time.

The first time, I was being sent down against my will. Doing it to just protect Octavia.

And now, I’m dying to get down there. I have to see for myself what’s happened to Earth.

And I have to see you again.

I think I can hear Monty calling for me. I have to go, and I have to leave the radio behind. Raven doesn’t want us carrying extra weight, only the essentials. The survival kit we’ve packed isn’t that impressive, if I’m being honest, but it’s better than nothing.

I will admit, I am feeling a bit nervous. But I just think of you, and I know this whole thing will be worth it if I get to see your face again.

We’re coming for you, y/n. I’m coming for you.”

–

“Oh, Bell, you’d yell at me if you saw the state of my hands right now.

It even hurts to hold the radio.

We tried at the door again, and managed to crack it open slightly. We got a big group of people to help push the door open, and we managed to get the hatch open inch by inch, but it’s still not wide enough to fit a person through. Besides that, there’s a pile of debris and rocks on top of us blocking anyone from getting out. At least the air seems breathable – I could see a small spot of light through the rocks. It felt so good to see daylight again. I got kind of desperate, I guess, trying to break through the rocks. I kept trying to clear the doorway, scratching my hands and knuckles until eventually Octavia had to pull me away. My hands are all bloodied and cut up now, but I don’t care. We’re so close to getting out, Bell!

I keep telling myself that when we get this damn door open, you’ll be standing there. It’s honestly the only thing that’s keeping me going right now.

I think Octavia is rounding up more people to have a go at the door again. I’m going to go help them, although I doubt Octavia will let me. I have to get out of the bunker, Bell. Even if I have to break my hands to do it, it’ll be worth it if it means I get out and see you again.

I love you.”

–

“If I calculated correctly,” Raven said as she stood on top of a large chunk of concrete, presumably fallen from the tower. “Polis is right under our feet.”

“But where’s the bunker, then?” Bellamy asked, a hint of distraught laced in his voice. Raven pressed her lips together and looked around, knowing how desperately Bellamy wanted to see you. He had almost driven her mad up on the Ark, the way he religiously talked into the radio every day, hoping that one day you’d respond.

“It’ll be buried under the debris.” Monty looked around too, and Bellamy sighed, exasperated.

“Hey,” Murphy reached up to put a hand on Bellamy’s shoulder, attempting to comfort him. “We’ll find the bunker, don’t worry.”

“And if we don’t?” Bellamy worriedly asked, and Murphy scoffed.

“Dude,” Murphy rolled his eyes. “We’ve survived an A.I. takeover, a huge radiation wave, and managed to survive in an abandoned space station for six years. At this point, I don’t think there’s anything we can’t do.”

Bellamy finally chuckled, and Murphy smiled as he gave Bellamy a little shake.

“Everyone, be quiet for a moment.” Echo suddenly demanded as she stood a little distance away. Everyone fell silent and looked at her expectantly, and she looked over her shoulder. “Do you hear that?”

Bellamy stepped closer to Echo, and then he heard it. The shifting of rocks. The faint sound of voices.

Before anyone else could react, Bellamy sprinted towards the source of the sound. He looked around his feet, trying to find where he had heard the sound. The rest of the group ran up behind him as Bellamy began to haul random rocks aside.

“Look!” Emori pointed at a spot underneath a giant boulder, and everyone stared as they saw the rocks move. Just slightly, by barely an inch, but it was enough to convince Bellamy he had found the bunker.

“We need to get this boulder out of the way.” Bellamy said, already trying to push it. Harper quickly put down the backpack she was carrying and fished out some rope.

“Here.” she handed it to Bellamy, who quickly unraveled it and began tying it around the rock. The others scrambled around him, securing the rope before they all lined up behind him.

“Ready?” Bellamy asked, gripping the rope tightly. Behind him, he could see the rest of them nodding. “Alright – three, two, one, pull!”

Everyone grunted as they shifted their weight backwards, hauling the rock away. The rock barely budged, and Bellamy gritted his teeth as he pulled tighter. It moved slightly, and Bellamy yanked again, everyone else using all their strength to help him.

“Keep going, guys!” Raven yelled from the back, seeing the boulder move more and more. “We’re making progress.”

The group finally yanked at the rope one last time, and the boulder rolled away. They all collapsed onto the floor, out of breath, as Bellamy scrambled over to where the boulder was. He almost laughed out loud with joy when he saw the bunker door, and banged on it. There was silence, and Bellamy’s heart dropped. He paused before banging on the door again, a feeling of dread filling his chest.

“y/n?” he yelled, as the others crawled over around the bunker door. “Octavia? Hello?”

The door suddenly shifted before it burst open, and everyone jumped back. Bellamy looked down, and a smile lit up his face as the first thing he saw was you.

“Bellamy?” you whispered, your voice cracking. You climbed further up the stairs, coming face to face with him. You slowly reached out your hand to touch his cheek, tears filling your eyes. “Bell, is that you?”

In response, Bellamy wrapped his arms around you and pulled you out of the bunker, falling backwards in the process as you wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your face into his shoulder. The both of you were laughing and crying as you lay there amongst the debris, clinging onto each other. Bellamy caressed your face in his hands before kissing you, and you held onto him tightly. Behind you, more people began to fill out the bunker, and Octavia stepped out and smiled as she watched the two of you reunite.

“You were actually there when we got that door open.” you whispered after the two of you finally pulled away. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I thought about you every day.” Bellamy replied, tears still in his eyes as he smiled at you. You smiled back at him as he reached down to pick up your hands and kiss them, but paused when he noticed your bloodied knuckles. “What the hell happened?”

“I knew you’d get mad.” you laughed. “I told you about it on the radio. Well, I supposed you never got the messages.”

“You talked to me on the radio?” Bellamy asked, and you nodded, a little bashfully. Chuckling, Bellamy squeezed your hands as he replied, “So did I.”

“Everyday?” you asked, your eyes widening.

“Everyday.” Bellamy nodded in confirmation. “It was like I was trying to send you love letters.”

Tears began to stream down your face as you laughed and whispered, “I love you, Bellamy.”

“I love you too, y/n.” he whispered back, beaming. “I’ve waited six years for you to tell me that.”

“I can’t say it enough.” you smiled. “I was so scared, after so much time-”

“Nothing will keep us apart.” Bellamy interrupted you, kissing your forehead. “I promise.”

“I love you.” you blurted again, holding his face in your hands. “Oh God, I love you so much.”

Laughing, Bellamy kissed you again before replying, “I love you even more.”

[silver-cats]

imma probably deactivate my ig for a little while and just take a break from it because ig’s just really depressing to me now I feel like its a place where people for the most part are rly fake they just post about looks all the times, promote those slimming tea or products they never admit to being paid to promote, its an app that’s just filled with conventionally attractive people who we often overhype way way way too much I think and who basically get popular for doing next to nothing  just looking conventionally good and its just filled with so much negativity and superficiality there’s definitely good things on there dont get me wrong im not denying this but I just feel im past ig not even in a pretentious way just that I’ve spent so much time on there and it kinda just feels like its time to move on specially cause now even im somewhat starting to get affected by it to be honest. For example whenever I buy film for my camera I just try to take as many photos as I can and get it developed as quickly as I can just so I can post on ig and it doesn’t even feel like I take photos for myself anymore just feels like im into photography to make my next post which sucks its a really small thing for sure  but still having even a small aspect of my real offline life revolve around my online “fake” life is a bad sign to me its just a sign I need to take a break from ig especially because photography is really important to me I first took it because of how much I enjoyed capturing moments and people and just life in general and now that something im passionate about is starting to not feel like its done in the name of passion anymore but in the name of something as superficial as my online life it feels pretty bad to me I dont ever want an aspect of my real offline life to intertwine with my online life to the point that I live parts of my offline real life only for my online ‘fake’ one (if that makes sense) we just attach way too much importance to living online and it messes a lot of us pretty badly and me starting to revolve parts of my life offline around my life online (letting my hobby be about my next post and not about genuinely taking photos I like) is a sign that even im starting to do that whether I like it or not. But that said though if I deactivate or just fully quite ig (if I quit though I won’t ever delete my account) im so glad that I never let myself use ig to be all that I hate on the app and all thats starting to affect me (conventionally attractive people who just use their appearance for popularity, sellouts, showoffs etc…) im so glad all my time I spent on that app I spent trying to do more than what it was originally intended to be about I never sold slimming teas never let my page be about new clothes or shoes or looks or whatever y’know im proud that. Anyway imma stop here cause at the end of the day a social media account is just a social media I dont think its worth writing a 5 page essay about that’s just one of the things we’ve all started doing that shows how much we’ve grown to care too much about our fake online life and even I need to stop it but yeah ig is just rly shallow and although on it I surround myself with people with depth to them the truth of the matter is that its starting to be hard for me to overlook the overwhelming superficial aspect of the app and I think I might just move on from it.

[cloveroctobers]

ELLADINE SARABI

IG info/bio: @/ellasardineabi | 18.5k followers | Artist | i was born with glass bones and paper skin♡

25 years old

Born & raised in Cardiff, Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

Father was in the n*vy and moved his family around a few times until he and his wife came to a agreement that it would be best for the family to grow up in one solid place

whereas he would leave for months at a time living elsewhere

Which was hard on the family at times since he is viewed as the rock of the family

He eventually left the n*vy after serving 20 years & was so thankful to, he hated it and how it messed with him mentally

He’s also of Iranian heritage

Her mother is of German heritage

Has her own restaurant that serves authentic German food

Both of her parents instilled hard work, discipline, generosity, and how to be practical in their children

Elladine is the middle child

Has a brother that is ten years older than her and then a younger sister who is seven years behind her

Canon: there is currently a discussion going on if they are going to bring their (maternal) nan/mam-gu home since the nursing home isn’t providing the proper care their nan needs

Her mother has a rocky relationship with her mother that she doesn’t like to discuss with her children but her husband knows all about it

Her nan has Alzheimer's and is becoming violent

it has become difficult seeing her most days

Elladine came into glassblowing after being involved in many classes in secondary such as workshop class

which became her fav since she was able to manipulate many materials such as metal, wood, and glass

She also took a auto body class which was interesting but she wasn’t too thrilled about it. Got away with a B- but knew she could do better if she really wanted to but she didn’t need the class to graduate so allow it

Currently works in a glass studio where her work is displayed/sold and she’s one of the main ones that makes great profit

has bought her own space for her own studio and is slowly making it to her liking with her assistant, yes she’s got one!

Hopes to be in that space within the next 6 months...it would have been a little sooner if we weren’t dealing with a global p*ndemic!!! but ya know life f*cking sucks sometimes!!!1!!:) especially if people don’t gaf

Moved back in with her parents so that she could not only help with her nan but get her studio ready, her parents approved since she was working towards something and realized her talent

I definitely see elladine going through a grunge phase and it probably still slips out every now and then lol

Her childhood room is still in shades of raspberry, gray, and a deep purple

always been plus-sized/fuller than the rest but it’s literally hereditary since her mom is built the same way who got it from her dad

Her family never made her feel ashamed as they shouldn’t and none of her true friends made her feel different since they were all of different sizes!!! besides who’s really friends with someone because of their bodies? Ur really ugly if that’s how u roll js

Always a respectful student and not too afraid to spark up a convo with you but can be a little nervous if the person is more of a “I have to warm up to you first” since she’ll feel like she’s annoying you if she carries the convo at first

Takes her time in relationships because she’s scared of getting hurt, cause breakups are not fun! Especially if theyre your friend on top of that

Although Friendship breakups are much worse let’s be honest here!!!

Has noticed that a few of her exes like to bring up that she’s controlling or too bossy in relationships and that makes her a little insecure since she doesn’t view it that way??

She knows what she wants and likes things a certain way, and she can see how it can kinda come off that way based on how she approaches/says things and tries to be better at toning it down and not being offensive to her significant others

Always has a plan and likes to follow it, she definitely keeps to-do lists on a daily

Takes trips to see Nicky often and vice-versa, every moment they spend together feels like it’s meant to be, even when it’s them just simply chilling in each other’s spaces, he’s truly one of her best friends and he feels like the missing part of her life

He offered for her to move in with him but elladine didn’t accept it since she wanted to be there to help with her nan and in fact—she wanted to be the one to ask HIM to move in with her

but if they make it long enough, they’ll go house hunting together...maybe

I get Shawn/Angela relationship vibes from them (boy meets world for those who aren’t aware of this couple and I’m not just saying this because they’re interracial as well lol) did I say this already about someone else? Brain fart lol

everyone relationship has their flaws so when they hit a bump in the road...elladine immediately wants to fix it but it comes off as more critiquing, moodiness/blaming the other

while Nicky can be defensive/argumentive/a little condescending on his end

To get through it, they normally go on a walk together in complete silence until they’re ready to speak again or they take a break from each other

I think words of affirmation is her love language

Taurus sun + Virgo moon + Capricorn rising?

“The girl on the motorcycle” is one of her fav films — no this is not metaphoric to her love life

Loves watching things with captions on since she always finds herself doing something else while watching anything (which irks Nicky a little bit but that’s just the way elladine is and he loves her so he deals with it)

Will rewind something if she missed it too

Canon: never had morning sex before

but can now say she has ;) & understands the pros people say about it and it outweighs the cons in her book

Will start the whole song over too if she missed her fav part in it

She also enjoys billiards since her brother used to work in a pool hall and when he had to watch her because she was “too young” in her words to stay home by herself he would take her there even tho technically she wasn’t supposed to be there but he was screwing his boss’s daughter so it was quite fine

her sister has a crush on Gary & ships elladine with him, which they joke about every now and then + he doesn’t follow her back, which is okay! Not a big deal but her sister keeps sliding in his dms (he’s now single)

She NEVER thought she would be on THE love island and wasn’t that confident that she’d find a real love that carried on outside of the show but Nicky has proven her wrong 🥲

She’s 5’5–5’6

Probably shops at Zara & top shop and has no issue picking pieces that flatter her “pear” figure, she loves all that is of her body: the pudge, love handles, cellulite and all (she’s very confident and won’t let anyone see her moments of doubt when it comes to her frame)

Loves mythology but will tell bill stfu if he comes near her trying to argue about anything in that subject

Very competitive and will rush through certain things, leaving one to think that she’ll fail somewhere but rarely does

If she’s not near or away from the mountains or the sea for long period of time she gets very moody!!! Guess that’s the Welsh in her huh?

Loves fireplaces, they’re super cozy and very romantic if you catch ella’s drift 😏

Probably smells like jasmine & pink pepper idk

Wants to travel to Iceland one day

Knows her way around a car but dreads having to get it fixed or fixing it herself?

Loves driving until her road rage kicks in? Oh you’re gonna go around her to get in front of her? Never that. She’ll always be in front of you and will break check you if you try her “Drewgi” she mutters

Early riser and goes to bed early too lol

She’s the crying drunk lmao

Automatically vieve has become one of her best friends from the villa but it deff didn’t feel forced like it normally would have just because their bfs have a podcast together, they talk about everything together. EVERYTHING! It feels like she’s the big sister she never had, yet they’re only a year apart lol

They have ft sleepovers and man is it fun!

Forgave lily but at the same time can’t fully see herself being friends with her like vieve tried to encourage before they went on the yacht...sorry everything can’t be Kumbaya over here sis

It sucks to say but it was easier? She doesn’t know if that’s the right term or not... for her to forgive rafi than it was lily and it’s fucked up but that’s the way it is. It’s not like she contacts him on seperate messages or anything like that! She’ll talk to him via group chat and that’s pretty much it. She knows it was all part of the show and production’s bs for ratings but that doesn’t mean it still didn’t hurt

Wishes him success on his shows/movies but doesn’t engage/watch them

What does she post? I feel like she posts maybe three times a month and a lot are outfit pics but tends to go live more so to chat with the people! She’ll also show all what glassblowing entails while chatting away! She loves that part and is pretty open about things but knows how to keep some things private

Personally wasn’t the biggest fan of season 1 but admits she wishes she had mc’s balls in terms of what she would have done if she was in elladine’s place when lily picked Nicky, “ugh! I wish I had her strength rising through my veins in that moment. Absolute riot. Adore her.”

‘“Licky” is a ugly ass ship name anyways so who’s really winning here?!’

Celeb crushes? Iwan Rheon, Henry Zaga, Anthony Welsh, jason derulo, & LaRoyce Hawkins

Listens to: soleima, Marisa Maino, Ava Max, poppy, Caroline polachek, Donny Hathaway, Phil Good, & SAINt JHN

Anthem — M.I.A. “Bad Girls”