#it feels like a lot has changed since i was last here !!!!

[makaylaloves-words]

Jason Todd thought his need for touch had died with him.

Part two!!

here’s part one

Pairing: Jason Todd x afab reader

TW: Loss of virginity (male), nsfw, pinv, religious imagery, body issues mentioned.

1.7k words

The sun comes dreadfully early. Bright butter yellow beams forcing Jason away from the oasis that is your embrace. You kiss his forehead then head to get ready for work. You start your usual routine, unaware of his recurring thoughts. Usually, he will wake up a little slower then go to make breakfast while you get ready. Today he lingers like the last bits of snow as winter fades into spring.

He watches you come out of the bathroom after your shower, music still playing from your phone. Music he will never admit to liking but listens to when he misses you. Your perfect skin slightly damp as you put on that lotion that makes him want to take a bite out of you.

Clad in only your underwear and bra, hair up in a towel, you pick your outfit for work and start on your makeup. Humming and dancing to your music. He stands.

He’s silent as he approaches, a huge sleepy figure looming behind you.

“Hi” you chirp, rubbing lotion into your skin.

“I want to have sex with you.”

You slowly turn, eyes wide. “Well good morning to you, too.” he swallows but doesn’t back down.

“I kinda have work” you blink.

“I- I didn’t mean right now. Just soon.” he says and your heart picks up. “Okay, honey, soon.”

You step closer and lift on your toes to peck his cheek. You let your hand linger on his bare chest, his hips against you in a way you can feel as hard he is. It gets you drunk on power to know how little it takes for you to do that to him.

Four nights later, it’s the usual routine but something’s off. He goes out on patrol for a few hours and you get finish up some work and make dinner. You eat together then he showers while you wind down. You’ve been dating over a year so naturally you’ve seen eachother naked but he’s always been a little secretive about his body. That’s why you’re very surprised when he walks into your bedroom in just his towel around his waist. Raven hair still damp and water droplets clinging to the scared tissue of his muscled chest. As anyone would eyes would, you give him a good stare down. He looks.. nervous.

“Something wrong?” you finally say.

“Now.” he says

“Now.. what?” your head tilts

He looks away, swallowing in embarrassment.

“I want to have sex.”

Oh.

Oh.

“I- uh right now?” you nearly laugh. You have been on a dry spell ever since you started dating Jason so honestly just him shirtless has got you hot and bothered but he doesn’t need to know that.

“I’ve made you wait this long” he nods and steps towards the bed. you stand, arms looping around his neck like a perfect ribbon. “You’ll help me know what to do?” he whispers and you smile “of course.”

Turns out you really have to tell him what to do. You don’t know if you pity the guy or are proud because he’s clearly never watched porn or anything of the sort.

“Just kiss me firs-” you instruct and before you can finish the words his lips are on yours. He’s grown a lot in his kissing ability. From small pecks on your forehead to now as he tangles his tongue with yours. Jason hooks his arms under your thighs and lifts you with practiced ease. Your legs wrap around his hips and his hands hesitantly inch towards the back of your thighs. You nod against as your mouth works on his and his hands slide to grip your ass, holding you to him. He groans.

The towel is slipping off his hips and you can feel an anticipation that you haven’t felt in so long coursing through you, straight to your gut.

“Are you sure about this? You can change your mind.” you say, pulling back. your chest is heaving and you know his answer as he licks a stripe up your neck.

He slowly steps forward, setting you on the bed and looking at you like you’re a goddess who just offered him immortality. “Do i sit down or-“ he bites his lip and you giggle. “We can just do missionary.” he blinks in confusion. “i’ll lay down” you add, stripping your shorts and scooting back on the bed.

You strip your shirt and look up. He’s staring at you in a way you’ve seen very few times. He’s flushed, pupils dilated and hands gripping the towel on his hips so hard his knuckles are white. “Um you come over here now” you swallow as he drops the towel and crawl towards you.

For a long time, Jason thought he was disgusting. A foul ugly creature who rose from the dead and doesn’t deserve a single thing he has. You, however, have never understood this. He is beautiful. Greek god level. You can feel the arousal on your thighs as you bite your lip.

He leans down and kisses you again, hard length pressed against your bare stomach as you start taking off the rest of your clothes.

It’s a charming process in the way that it’s kinda clumsy. You haven’t done this in a while and well Jason’s literally a virgin so it takes you a couple tries to get your bra and underwear off.

He breaks the kiss to look down at you. Eyes trialing over your breast as he rests his hands on your ribcage. “You are beautiful” he whispers and you smile shyly. “You too” he blushes.

Both naked as the day you were born, he gulps “So do i just-“

“pretty much”

He gives himself a few strokes, dark lashes fluttering before he leans to you and presses against you. An inch in and he bites his lips. “God” he whines and you smile. he’s larger than most and you revel in the stretch as he pushes more.

“Oh i understand now” he mutters, hands fisting the sheets by your head.

“Understand what?” you say with a small whimper.

“Why people enjoy this so much” he cuts his words off with a moan as he pushes in a bit more.

With a final gasp from him, he’s all the way in and he swears he’s in heaven. He’s never been a very religious person but if there is a god then it is you and this fucking pussy. He groans, hands gripping the sheets beside your head as your hands delicately grasp his wrists.

“You can move” you say quietly, eyes loving as you look up at him.

“I-“ he should move. he knows he should but he is already close to coming and he doesn’t wanna come that fast. You’re just so warm and wet and tight and- oh no.

no no no.

you shift your hips, forcing his dick to rock in and out of you. It barely even moves. “Fuck, no—sto—"

Jason grunts. Chokes on it. 

you do it again, just the softest roll of your hips. “Baby, you don’t understand” he groans, arms shaking beside your head. “It’s okay” you coo, “it’s normal just- please” he swallows. yes he didn’t want to be the guy who blew it like a two pump chump but it’s true he wanted you to feel good to. god, he wants that more than his own pleasure. So, he moves.

A small thrust, just the last 2 inches coming out and in but he whines and turns his head away. You smile, “Hey. look at me, pretty boy”. he groans and looks down at you. god you look like a fucking angel.

He’s nearly drooling as he shudders and thrusts a few more times. Then he stops, “What are you doing?” he gulps.

You blink up at him. It’s true your hand had snaked down and drew a few circles around your clit but that was not a crime.

“I-“

“Show me how.”

“What?”

“That thing you’re doing. Feels good? Show. me. how.” Jason’s words would sound like a demand if he wasn’t bright red and pussy drunk. And instead of getting all butt hurt, he’s asking you to teach him and-

—and oh, isn’t your heart melting into a puddle.

You gently take one of his hands off the sheets next to him and guide his thick calloused fingers to your clit. “Just- circles or press a little.” you say, words cutting out with a moan when he rubs your clit. good to know he was a fucking natural. His eyes are glued to where his cock is pressed into you and he gulps before continuing his ministrations on your clit. Then he thrusts at the same time. You both moan in sync and he smiles, “‘m doing good? I’m not gonna last much longer, baby.”

You nod, simply letting him now it’s okay. A few more thrusts and he is shaking. Eyes closing as he gulps.

“Can i-.. in you?” he mutters.

“Yes.” you say calmly, chest heaving.

He buries his face in the warm crook of your neck, a bright flush over his scared skin. Then he’s coming and- “I love you” he groans and you pause.

“what?”

he’s only half conscious as he spurts into you. eyes rolling back as he gasps. “i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner. I’m in love with you, have been for a while.”

you blink “i love you too, Jay.”

He keeps his head buried in your neck but he slowly trails some kisses along your jaw in response. His hand speeds up on your clit as he keeps pumping his slowly softening cock. After a few moments he sits back up, eyes hazy, “you haven’t- should i try again?” you laugh.

“Just give me a minute, love.” your hand snakes down and you lay your fingers on his, helping his finger your clit in that way that had you sparking. You tighten around him and he swears he’s seeing stars. “Fuck” he pulls out of you, grunts turning into a self satisfied smile when you come. You aren’t super loud or anything but he swears it’s the most beautiful melodic thing he has ever seen.

When you come down from your high, he’s laying half on top of you. You can feel his heartbeat thunder against yours, as if merging together—erratic and unsteady. “You did so good” you kiss the top of his head. “You too” he teases.

you have officially deflowered the great jason todd.

thank you for all the support! this is my first time really writing and i’m having a very fun time. i’m kinda new to tumbler so let me know if i’m doing this tag list wrong, lol.

@theendofthematerialgworl @nwjsns @anamiranda7383 @vicky342 @jayskookies @cyberangel-graphics

[urrmomzfavorite]

PAC Your Next Spicy Time ? 18+

psstt check my masterlist if you want more readings from me !

Pile One: You won’t see this person coming. This will happen during a time when you feel like nothing is changing, nothing is moving. You look good as hell, but none of the options are impressing you. You want a real offer—someone with potential, someone who will woo you in all the right ways. Well, wish granted! This person is passionate, and you’ll love the way they speak. They could be quite the charmer! They’re really smart, more than they look, and they know it. This person will plot on you sooo bad. They might have some control issues, but they only pursue people they’re seriously interested in. They want your body, but also your mind and your heart.

When it comes to your spicy night together, this person has been thinking, obsessing about it. They’ve fantasized about all the ways they want to have you, taste you. This has been a long time coming for both of you. They’ll work hard to please you—they want you to moan and scream their name. They need to feel your desire for them. Your relationship will change after this; you’ll be more in tune with each other, like the last piece of a puzzle has finally been put in place. You make this person hard.

psstt check my masterlist if you want more readings from me !

Pile Two: Pile number two—your next time is with someone you already know. You could already be in a relationship with this person. They see you as an angel and constantly tell themselves how lucky they are. They were always scared of someone seeing their shadows, but you’re not scared of them. You welcome their darkness with open arms, telling them their dark parts are nothing to be afraid of.

They want to worship you, kneel at the altar that is your body, and give everything they have to you. You are the star guiding them in the night sky, the creator of their vices and the solution to their desires. Their thirst for you is unquenchable. They want to get drunk on your love, high on your happiness, and hard in their pants. You are the only goal they’re working toward. Also, this person wants to smell your panties? They want to keep them in their pocket and smell them whenever? (Wow, they are down BAD.)

Pssst check my masterlist if you want more readings from me !

Pile Three: Ohhhhh, this is spicy! They want to get straight to business, lol. This person has an extreme attraction to you. This could be a complicated relationship—or situationship? This person might be flaky at times. Maybe you’ve decided to leave them behind? A lot is coming up at this moment. They can’t stop thinking about you—on your back, on your knees, tied up? Wowww. There’s a potent sexual energy here. They want to make you cum; it makes them feel victorious. Seeing your body twitch under their touch…

I’m hearing they feel like they’re the only one who can handle you, take care of you? They want to take it slow—it’s been a long time since the last time. They want to give you a massage, oil you up, slowly moving their hands toward your intimate parts. They want you to forgive them, maybe with makeup sex? Lol. If you’re not in contact with this person, you might feel their energy lingering around you. That’s because you’re heavily on their mind. I think they can’t get you out—it’s become a pattern. They need you, only you. Remember when I said they feel like they’re the only one who can take care of you? I think it’s projection on their part. YOU hold all the power over their desire, and they hate it.

Psst check my masterlist if you want more readings from me !

[healingpage]

vindicated (swear i'd never do it again) - choi yeonjun

ꕥ pairing: bf!yeonjun x afab!reader

ꕥ genres: smut, angst

ꕥ rating: 18+ mdni

ꕥ warning: dom!yeonjun, sub!reader, arguments, confrontations because they are adults, reader cries a lot, cheating (implied), make up sex, unprotected sex, oral (f.rec) multiple orgasm, fingering, riding

ꕥ wc: 6k

ꕥ a/n: i actually hate this... i've been gate keeping it since last year because of it but nevertheless enjoy

The noise of rain tapping on the windows corresponded with the racing beat of your heart. Weeks had passed since the previous arguments, yet the ensuing silence felt even more distressing. Yeonjun's brown coloured long trench coat still hung by the door, his cologne subtle yet persistent in the air—a harsh reminder of all that was left unsettled between you.

You sit on the floor of your shared apartment with legs crossed, browsing through the pages of a vintage photo album. Your eyes soften at the shiny pictures that seem like it quite narrates a tale of love that seems unstoppable for both of you. Yeonjun was smiling at a summer festival, his eyes almost closing as you guys were hit with warmth from the sun. You were right there by his side, kissing his cheek. Another picture captured you resting on his shoulder during a late-night train journey. At that time, your friends had playfully teased you about your inseparability, during your early stages of relationship, attached closely to each other’s hips all the time.

However, it seems that his love, you don't know, maybe it has faded as time passed. Like a withering flower that is waiting for a moment to shatter on earth, words that were once delivered with sweetness now carry a sharpness. Of course at first, the arguments began minor: late response to messages, any sorts of miscommunications that could have been resolved with an apology. Soon arrived the yelling disputes, doors being slammed, and evenings spent in different rooms. Yeonjun was always the avoidant type, rather than to sit together and talk he prefers to distance himself, stressing you out at the lack of communication.

As you are occupied with countless thoughts, you hear the door slowly being opened, causing you to look up abruptly. Yeonjun enters, his jet black hair evidently wet from the rain. He appears unchanged yet changed, his eyes bearing a heaviness that didn't exist previously. For a brief time, neither of you said anything. The atmosphere in the room was dense, laden with unspoken thoughts.

"You’re still around," Yeonjun eventually says, his tone distant.

"Now you don’t want me here? Where could I possibly go?" You coldly answer, hurt by the question, or his choice of words. Your hands quickly shutting the album and putting it down.

He moves a step closer, then two, then he is standing not even two steps away from you, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket. "I was wondering if perhaps you… I'm not sure." His voice is toned down at the end, like he’s not sure what to say.

"Isn’t that what you do?" The resentment in your voice was unignorable, tugging at the string of his heart. "You are gone whenever situations become too tense, you always walk away."

Something flinches inside Yeonjun hearing that, but he refuses to look away. “And you always hold on too tight,” he counters back, his voice trembling. “Like you’re afraid if you let go even a little, everything will fall apart.”

“Because it will fall apart, Yeonjun!” Your voice goes up three tones higher, it even cracks, but you care less about that when you have tears welling up. “It already is. Can’t you see that?”

“What do you want me to do, Y/N?” he asks, his voice breaking as well. “I’ve tried to fix this. I’ve tried to be enough for you, but maybe… maybe we’re just not compatible.”

His words hang between, heavy and suffocating. It feels like he’s admitting defeat, like acknowledging the storm both of you trapped in will never clear. And God, does it hurt. The constant effort you make to understand him better, the lies he told to your face you turned blind eye into, the missed important dates.

“You think I don’t know that?” you whisper, your voice barely audible to him. “But even after everything, I can’t walk away. I… I love you, Yeonjun. Even when it hurts. Even when you hurt me, over and over. I can lose everything, but not you…”

Yeonjun’s shoulders droop, and for the first time in a long time, he looks guilty. He stares at your wet face, your disheveled form, your trembling hands. You never look so broken, his sweet darling, the apple of his eyes, his precious love appears like a broken piece of glass before him, it wrenches his heart thinking that it was from all his doings.

“I love you too,” he admits, his voice raw. You can feel his gaze soften a bit, eyes no longer angry. “But is love enough if all I do is hurting you?”

The question is like a stabbing knife to your heart. You both knew the answer, but neither has the courage to say it aloud. Silence fills the air once more, the rain pouring outside is like a brutal mirror to the storm inside your apartment.

Finally, Yeonjun closes the distance between you. He hesitantly kneels in front of you, his hands trembling as he cups your face. “I don’t want to lose you either,” he says, every word that comes up from his mouth shakes. “But I don’t know how to fix this.”

“Maybe we can’t fix it,” you replied, your tears spilling non stop now that he’s got his hands on you. It is obvious that his hand is cold from the freezing weather outside, yet it spreads warmth inside you as you lean further into his comforting, healing touch. “Maybe we just have to accept that we’re broken. But I’d rather be broken with you than whole without you. I don’t wanna give up on us, Jjunie.”

Yeonjun leans his forehead against yours as he hears the nickname, his own tears falling. You let him engulf you in his arms, arms brushing over each other giving you goosebumps on the realisation that you went on a week without him. His chest heaves up and down, relaxed heartbeat calming you down as you savour the moment.

“I am sorry, baby,” he is the first one to break the silence. You could not pinpoint whether he is sincere about it, but his eyes are telling you like you matter the most in his world. “I hurt you, didn't I? How’d you sleep this past week?” His voice laced with concern, tone so dulcet and sweet you feel like you are falling into a gush of sugar. Knowing you hardly fall asleep without him around, his mind floods with sorrowful guilt.

“Horrible, I missed you,” you come clean, him smiling so softly you would miss it if you weren't right in his hug.

“Poor baby, I missed her too,” he uses his usual baby tone to talk to you, stroking the back of your head while you find yourself closing your eyes at the comforting contact.

“Wanna cuddle?” He's asking so nicely, not even waiting for your answer as he lifts you up from the cold floor, wrapping your legs around his waist. He walks you both to your shared room, your heart thumping as you feel butterflies all over again. The room hasn't changed since the last time you guys slept in the same bed and room, clean simple beige sheets that Yeonjun had changed after your last intercourse being where you land on.

He's taking off his jacket, the only thing that he wears on his upper body being the black sleeveless shirt that drives you crazy everytime you see those on him. Your eyes that are set on him trembles a bit, forcing you to let out a cough.

“It's January. You shall wear something more warm.”

“I could warm up being next to you,” he's quick with his witty answer, already jumping on the bed again, pulling you yet again into his embrace. His face is buried in your neck, lips dangerously wandering around your sensitive areas you breathe deeply as you bite back a moan.

“Jjunie, I thought we were only going to cuddle,” you interrupt, yet you find your hands tangling in his strands of hair, noticeably longer since the last time you held onto them.

“Aren’t we?” his lips latching on your skin by now, gently sucking on the flesh before he lets go, leaving a fresh mark of him on you, reclaiming his territory. He retreats for a while, lips part as he hears the small gasp that comes up as you notice the hickey. “So beautiful…”

As you remain captivated by his alluring move, seemingly innocent as he keeps making out first, then his hands start to roam not only over but now under your clothing a little. He strips your top off first, fondling at your tits.

“Tell me if you don’t want me,” he pauses, looking at your expression. Your doe eyes look at him, a bit glassy. His stomach churns at that, just a moment ago, you were yelling at him but now, under him you could not deny his contact with your body.

“Oh—” you moan out, feeling every inch of your body craving for his touch more and more, you could feel your underwear sticking onto your entrance by now, your arousal grows greedier. “Yeonjun.”

“Am right here, baby. Tell me what you need.”

“Want you, need you, all of you, oh my god—” your words are cut at how he would make easy work of the tiny shorts that wrap you, he slips them off quickly, palming your ass before slipping off the lacy underwear too.

Then his shirt is off in a minute, before long you're staring at one spot on his chest, your voice that says his name shrieking. Yeonjun is confused at first, before he looks at the direction you are setting your eyes to. His eyes widen as you shove him away, your trembling hands pulling the comforter to cover your body.

“Was–was there someone else?” your voice comes up shaky, eyes glistening with tears that pools at your lower lid. Yeonjun is silenced, a lost look evident in his face. “Y/n…”

“Answer me!” Your tears are falling now, your heart crushed at how he’s not quick to reassure you, to deny your assumption, anything. The bruise mark on his chest, one that was not created by you. Sure, your relationship had been quite flimsy at times after a solid three years, but you never had a reason to doubt his love for you. Every time you argue, it was never about a third person. The third person has never come into the picture. “Did you sleep with her?!” you shout, Yeonjun flinches at the tone.

“Baby, I don’t–”

“Then, what the fuck is that on your neck?” you ask, squinting at a faint purplish mark near his collarbone. It was positioned enough to be hidden when he’s wearing a shirt, but now that it’s off, it’s so evident.

Yeonjun covers the hickey with his hand, the movements rushed and awkward. “Oh, this? It’s... nothing. Just a bruise from a fall,” he mumbles, avoiding eye contact.

“Let me see,” you say after a long silence, your tone firm but he can see the way your lips tremble. Yeonjun hesitates a little, but you reach out your hand, and he lets you inspect the spot. You feel your stomach turn as you lightly run your fingertips over it. You aren’t foolish, it was not just any bruise; it was distinctly shaped and coloured like a hickey.

Your heart drops as you feel the reality of the situation. “That has nothing to do with a fall. Be honest with me.”

Yeonjun’s face changes, and the room falls quiet for a brief period. Both of you, especially Yeonjun, feel anxious about the occasion.

He wobbles with "I... I can explain," but his words sounded unsure, and you feel that is an insincere answer. Like he’s hiding something.

Your head whirl with feelings of betrayal, rage, hurt, and disbelief. This has turned into the rifts in the trust you had established together, not simply about the mark. Your head feels heavy, turning down as you cry.

“It’s not what you’re thinking, y/n!” he’s also yelling now, frustration overcoming him. Guilt, sadness and anger mixed in as he breathed in, his own eyes wet. His heart breaks seeing your state, it’s not the first time he sees you crying but this time you look incredibly heartbroken, miserable and not just upset at him.

“Then, what, what would explain this, Yeonjun?” you are fully sobbing, words imprecise swallowed by your cry.

“I was just… at the club okay? I was drunk, I don’t even remember–”

“Fuck that!” you cut him off, your voice burst with fume. “Do you realize how this looks?! How does it feel to even think you might’ve cheated on me? You try to sleep with me when that mark hasn’t even disappeared?!”

“Baby,” he tries again, trying to get closer to you.

“Don’t baby me,” your voice cold as ice in line with the gaze you now give him. “I don’t know, I thought you would never do that to me. I would never find someone else as long as I’m your girlfriend, Yeonjun. So stupid of me to hold on to you, I should have left long ago, so I don’t feel this hurt, because now I love you so much—too much, it feels even more painful…” you confess, finding yourself laughing at the absurdness yet your tears keep on rolling non stop. “If you don’t like me anymore you could just tell me. I would pack my things myself so you don’t have to rub it in like this.” Sniffles exit your nose, the back of your hand become the temporary napkin as you rub your tears away.

His eyes softened as he reached for her hands, his touch warm but cautious. “Y/n, I’d never hurt you like that. I love you. Please believe me.”

You pull your hands back, turning away to hide the tears welling yet again in your eyes. But before you could retreat further, Yeonjun closes the gap between you both, wrapping his arms around you from behind.

“Y/n, look at me,” he whispers, his breath warm against her ear. “You’re everything to me. I can’t stand the thought of you doubting that.”

You turn slowly, her tearful eyes meeting his. There is sincerity in his gaze that makes your heart falter, and along that, a little of expectation because you can still feel the love. It’s still there in his eyes, filled with it and warmth as he looks at you.

“Explain to me,” you say, trying to steady your voice but Yeonjun, knowing you through, could catch that you are still hoping for his denial, still hoping that it isn’t true what you see. With a regretful smile, he cups your face gently, brushing tears away, his fingers on you treating it as delicate as possible.

“Won’t you judge me?” he carefully asks, studying your expression as your brow rises in confusion.

“It depends,” you answer, short, simple and clear.

“Saturday,” he starts, “I was at Taehyun’s. I was stressed out about our fight, and then he persuaded me into going to the club. Relax a little. I had a drink, maybe two but I was so wasted, I don’t remember who was it, I don’t know her, it was a random girl there, I’m gonna be honest we make out a little, and she did this,” he pauses, touching the mark, before his gaze settles on you confidently this time, “Taehyun came up, and he dragged me out there, telling me all about it the next morning. He was meaning to tell you everything first, but I told him not to, because I want to settle things ourselves.”

“Why didn't you tell her you’re not single,” you complain, lips pouting as you contemplate the story, it seems believable but you don’t know for sure. “And why do you have to be so hot, people literally couldn't leave you alone.”

He softly laughs at that, before turning serious again. “I am sorry, pretty girl,” he apologizes, “I don’t know how to mend things that have already happened, I know I should’ve known how wasted I’d be and just head home.”

He then grabs your comforter covered waist, pulling your head to land on his chest, letting you wet it. Your sobbing grows louder first, hands reluctantly creeping up to touch his shoulders. “I am sorry, oh baby, you don’t know how sorry I am, it’s all my fault, should have stayed that night, just hold you close until you’re not upset at me.”

“What can I do to earn your forgiveness, tell me, gorgeous,” his voice is whiny now, almost pleading when your sniffles haven't stopped. The hand that is holding onto your back scatters random shapes on it.

“Then prove it,” you mumble, looking up to him again, your voice barely audible.

Yeonjun cups your face gently, you look very endearing with cheeks red, eyes swollen and lips pouting a bit, his thumbs brushing away the tears remaining on your cheeks. “I’ll spend my entire life proving it,” he says, the sound of his confession thick with emotion.

Your lips meet together in a tender kiss, one that starts slow but it quickly deepens as you could feel the desperation in his touch, the regret, the unspoken promise that he’d never betray your trust.

He lifts you effortlessly, carrying you back on the bed where you can place your head on the pillow comfortably. His hands roam your back as yours are tangled in his hair, pulling him closer. The tension between you dissolves into a shared need for closeness, for reassurance, for reconciliation, for love.

Seconds later, he's immediately invading your personal space, arms around you in a tight, needy embrace. He has his face nestled in the crook of your neck, a heavy breath that tells you he's relieved and something familiar, something that you hunch as love.

“Jun—“ he smashes his mouth against yours, tongue pushing past your lips, the taste of chapstick that you're familiar with, the one that he only uses during winter due to dryness. Desperate sounds leave both your mouths, you are whining while he's half groaning. His body pressed against yours, separated by the cover that hasn't left your body. When he finally pulls away from the passionate kiss, his eyes find yours, filled with affective and yearning.

“I missed you s’ much, princess, how did I survived a whole week without you,” he presses a kiss to your neck, tongue tracing the collarbone with a cherish that signifies his worship on you.

“Would you allow me, princess, I want to make it up to you, please,” he looks up at you with his big, puppy-like eyes, an expression so pitiful it’s admirable. The desperation behind them makes it difficult to say no. You aren't better, your whole body is craving for him.

“Touch me,” you let out a soft whimper, arching into his touch. "Please," you breathe out, and he happily obliges, the cover is off the bed instantly.

Then his hands travel down your sides to your hips, fingers digging in as if to keep you anchored to him. The hand then kneads the meat of your ass, your breath hitches as he goes down on you, nails digging into his arms as you inhale deeply as if committing you to memorise his scent.

“My girl’s so pretty,” he slurs out, before he dives into your pussy, your hand goes flying to grab onto his hair as he splits you open through his tongue.

“Yeonjun!”

“Sorry,” he murmurs against your inner thigh, his hot breath causing goosebumps to rise in its wake. He says sorry, but his action doesn't match the word. “Has been so long since I munched on this.”

Your toes curl, eyes thrown back at the way he is switching between licking and sucking, almost like that's the whole purpose of his life. his scruffy cheeks hollow as he sucks a hickey into the soft flesh of your inner thigh. He was right though, it has been a while, the pleasure is almost foreign to you.

“Are you still my girl?” he questions, sounding cocky like the usual Yeonjun you know. The sexy, intimidating confidence that has you weak in your knees every time. Your only response is a moan, causing his lips to turn into a smirk, “Of course you are, I‘m the only one that can get you this wet, baby. Correct?”

No longer able to give him a reply, he continues to work his mouth on you. His tongue is relentless, it is sucking onto your entrance, then it is swirling around your clit with increasing fervor. The pace is sloppy, uncoordinated, messy even sometimes, but it only serves to bring you higher to the excitement of it all. Each time he pulls back, you can hear his heavy pant in search of breath, feel the way his mouth lets out your name.

“Oh, Y’jun—” your mindlessly thrown words trail off into incoherent mumbles as you feel closer to the edge, bringing you the sensation. “So close, please.”

The urgency in your begging translates to him as an invitation to continue. The way your entire body is wound up so tense, unwittingly ready to snap. He moves his thumb finger to press on your clit, skilled enough to actually let another two of them be inserted in your pussy, curling them just right so that they’re pressing against that dangerous spot that has you seeing stars.

“Shit, you just got way wetter, you have been craving me that much, huh,“ he chuckles against your thighs, and he's not completely wrong. The way he's re-arranging your inside, it's like he's trying to prove a point, to prove that as much as he needs you, you need him too.

"Wanna cum, please," you gasp out, and then he increases the intensity, your thighs shaking like crazy before it all stops as your liquid gushes out. Yeonjun is more than glad to pick up some of it, slurping them from his fingers. His sexy gaze and your quivering ones meet, silent praises and apologies heard from the way he's caressing your waist gently.

“You haven't come yet,” your sweet voice echoes in his ears. You are still the bundle of love for him, always thinking of his pleasure when you were just crying betrayed by his trust earlier. With agony, Yeonjun is shaking his head, presenting you with a small smile.

“No, it's okay princess. I should be fine, let's go to sleep, hmm? You are tired, I'll hold you,” he's denying you, aware of how relaxed your body is after having your orgasm, you must be so sexually frustrated the whole week. On top of that he knows how bad your sleep was affected due to your argument. Your eyes have been drowsy for a while now, yet you find strength to get up, straddling his lap.

“Love shall go both ways, as much as I mean the world to you, you mean the same to me. What you want from me, I want you the same way too.”

Your eyes staring at him, the honesty in it clear as crystal. Your hand that he is missing so much takes off his pants. The skin against his feels so soft, you are moving a bit behind to kneel before him.

“You really don't have to, princess,” he's saying again, hands caressing your hairline. You look up to him with round eyes, determined to mean what you said earlier. In a brief moment, you are presented with his hard-ons, the sight making you drooling. He's denying you once again with the look in his eyes, so you confidently reply, “I wanna do this.”

“Fuck," Yeonjun breathes out, eyes twisting shut as he feels your warm throat enveloping him. He collects your hair in his fist gently, holding it as you swallow him whole. Your hands move to rest on his thighs, pretty acrylics pressing on it whenever another inch of him goes in.

The feeling of your mouth enveloping him has him pulsing in your throat, his lips part as lewd sounds of him moaning leaves. “You're doing so well for me, babe.”

You take the praise to relax your jaw, letting his tip hit the back of your throat. Your eyes water at the feeling, hurriedly tapping his thighs to let him know the cue. He tightens the grip he has on your hair as he starts to move your head on his length, forcing you to take more and more of him till your nose brushes against his pelvis.

He moves your head up and down, his thrust harsh as he makes you take his entire length then leaving only his tip before repeating the entire process, moaning out your name whenever his head brushes against your throat.

You know he is getting close—you could feel him pulsing in your mouth, as a layer of sweet coated his forehead despite the cold room, making him glow so charmingly. You inhale a deep breath, before sucking in your cheeks, humming his name around him, knowing it is exactly what it would take to throw him over the edge.

“I'm close, baby,” he pleads, inaudible chatters of moans follows after as you double your efforts, and as expected a few seconds later his release spreads through your throat as you continue to bob your head to swallow.

Yeonjun’s chest is heaving, his hair a disheveled mess as he leans his hand heavily against your head, staring down at you like you’d just knocked the wind out of him. You guys stay silent for a while, eye contact with each other being the only sole communicator.

And when you place your legs on either side of him, both of his hands finding their home on your waist, your hole wet and slick enough, ready for him, he’s once again starstrucked, the feeling's overwhelming like you’re made just for him. He bites his lip when you slide down with a whiny mention of his name, you stay still for a moment, and he's all but resist as he needs the comfort of you being wrapped around him right now just bad.

Your eyes could not help but trail down to the mark from earlier, upsetting thoughts taking over you as you encounter the upsetting thoughts again. Your eyes tremble with tears as you hold onto Yeonjun’s shoulders, you begin to sob again, the sight making Yeonjun uneasy as he’s even more apologetic when you are so clearly hurt by the smallest mark, yet the biggest mistake he had made.

"You're mine, you got that?" you sniffle, your touch on him soft but it feels possessive enough to Yeonjun at that point of time.

"Of course, all yours baby, only yours," he breathes as you part your lips, looking down on his neckline. Your eyes briefly glance over the hickey painted over his chest and it leaves the feeling of your heart throbbing in your chest. Unshed tears sting at your eyes, the sound of incoherent sob immediately puts him to sit up against the headboard, holding you close to him.

“I’m sorry, we shouldn’t do this, let’s just—”

“No,” you decline immediately, hands clasping together at his shoulder trying to push him back to let you be in charge. You bite back a sob, “I want to do this. Want this off you,” you snivel, looking pitiful and so eager to get the mark to be hidden by your own, your lip finding its way to his skin, sucking on it before your teeth sink on the same exact spot that leaves Yeonjun wincing in pain. He’s staring at you deeply now, heart wrenched as droplets of tears roll down your cheek in frustration.

"I should’ve been better, should’ve tried harder, I'm gonna make things right, love, I swear," he's spurting all his emotion out, hands scrambling to make their way to your thighs and helping you to move.

“Swear I’d never do it again,” he adds, his pillow-y soft lip rasps across your sensitive neck as he plants gentle kisses all over it. The action is filled with reassurance, infatuation, and warmth. Quite literally soft and tender, far from the agony that had filled your heart only moments before.

“There, princess?” he's asking, his tip reaching your sensitive spot, your voice exceptionally high pitched when you reply to him a yes.

He's much more attentive tonight. Usually sex with him was rough, which you couldn’t complain about or dislike, but there is something adorable about him being so soft with you that always made this a lot more enjoyable than usual. His kisses and praises doubles, along with the occasional apologies, his promise to do better. Your mind goes out from while to while, unable to comprehend the actual sentence that he forms. You are just glad he's holding you, grounding you from blacking out.

“Let me show you my love,” he helps you on your back, his dick sliding out for a while, smiling softly when you make a fuss for it, “I know, it's okay, baby,” comes out his mouth as he thrust up into you, sucking at your neck to leave a few more love bites.

“Faster,” you whimper, dissatisfied at the slow pace.

“We'll get there, so impatient,” Yeonjun chuckles, his hand brushing against your arms to settle into your breast, fondling it. Your desperate moans filled the room, the pace slowly building up. Your hand travels down to your clit, rubbing it before it gets shoved away by Yeonjun instantly.

Before you could question his denial, he whispers a stern “I could do that,” as you relax to his touch, his skilled fingers working its magic. You wrap your arms around his shoulder, pulling him into a kiss, moaning into his mouth as he brings you closer to your high.

He hums against your lips as you tighten around him when you reach your orgasm, peppering the softest kisses all around your face while his hands mapped out your precious body that he’s come to cherish so much. Someone as lovely, as flawless, and as serene as you is a blessing for a man like him, a man who is emotionally lacking and aloof. Your body shakes with the overstimulation, a small smile escapes as he slows the pace, tender and consistent thrust to relax you.

“You feel so good, baby.” His eyes trailing down your body to where you are connected, the base of his cock wraps with thick white rings of your arousal, and his mouth opens at the vicious sight. He watches closely for your expression every time he plunges forward; your hips moving to meet his, thrust for thrust despite your previous orgasm. “Pussy made for me, yeah? Missed me that much?”

Each harsh thrust makes your tits bounce and forces a moan out from you as a response. Yeonjun chuckles at your lack of words, the sight admirable for him. The pleasure on your part made it difficult for you to even make out his expression or words anymore, feeling like you are on cloud nine for a second and a second later you are back on ground.

“Gonna make it up to you, promise,” he’s mumbling in between his praise for you, left at his mercy as he draws various shapes on your clit to push you further in ecstasy, another orgasm creeping in as you hold onto his shoulder tight.

As you let go for him, the endless words of flattery along with assurance of the love he has for you acts as your company. He’s slowing down, waiting for you to come down from your high. As your breath and heartbeat falls into a stable rhythm again, he’s back to thrusting slowly, your breath hitches as you are flooded with oversensitivity, wincing at the intrusion.

“Shh… I’m sorry, just a little bit more, pretty,” his whisper sends relaxation, trusting him with everything as you nod, occasional whimpers leaving your mouth at the slight discomfort. You shift your entire focus on him as he reaches his release, eyebrows furrowed with a slightly opened mouth as you reach your hands out to touch him on the cheek. The contact subconsciously draws a moan from him, resting his forehead on yours.

“Baby,” he calls out, “I’m sorry, I love you.”

Your lips twitch into a small smile, nodding as you rub his cheek yet you say nothing. The silence is deafening, Yeonjun himself cringing as he pulls out from you slowly. None of you breaks the silence as he gets up first to clean himself, allowing you to take a small nap before being woken up by him, for the never forgotten aftercare.

“Do you mind if I sleep with you tonight? I wanna have you in my arms.” The question arises from him as he buttons your pyjamas for tonight. He takes in your cozy state, eyelashes fluttering as you look up to him. You rarely ever see his nervous state, he is a person that always exudes such kind of charisma, carrying himself with confidence, at least around you, yet he seems least intimidating, nervous and very cautious with that simple question.

He isn’t looking for grand gestures or dramatic declarations. What he’s asking for is something simple, intimate, and deeply human: the opportunity to lie beside you, to hold you, and maybe even to begin the slow process of rebuilding what was lost, piece by piece. For a moment, you let yourself believe that this time, it might be different. That he genuinely wants to start anew and make amends, not just relive the moments of the past.

“Of course, Jjunie. Hold me, and don’t let go.”

At your reply, Yeonjun nearly jumps, placing you snuggly in his hold, not missing the opportunity to land a kiss every each and a while on your forehead as you relax and allow yourself to doze off.

[jj-mybnk]

Back to Friends - J.J Maybank

A/N: Part 2 to this fic! Loosely based on "back to friends" by sombr. Another song I've been obsessed with. Didnt really proofread so sorry abt that! Also…sorry for the timing in light of recent events 😭 JJ Maybank you deserve sm better than your actor.

Summary: It's been a month since the last time, since JJ saw in the arms of another. But now, you're alone at The Wreck, and JJ Maybank has never been able to mind his business—especially when it comes to you. A past that won’t stay buried, and two people pretending this will ever be just friendship.

Word Count: 2,526

Warnings: more angst, a hint of fluff, some swearing, drinking, mentions of cheating

The Wreck was quieter tonight, the usual rowdy crowd dwindled down to locals nursing drinks engaged in small talk. JJ Maybank hadn’t planned on coming, but the familiarity of the place drew him in like a bad habit. A month had passed since he last saw you, wrapped up in someone else’s arms, looking like you had moved on completely.

You hadn’t noticed him yet. You sat at a corner booth, aimlessly swirling your drink around, lost in thought. No bright smile, no soft laughter. Just you, looking smaller than he ever remembered.

His stomach twisted.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he stood, walking across the room toward you.

You looked up when he stopped at your table. Your expression hardened. Pushing away the glimpse of happiness you regrettably felt seeing his face.

“What do you want, JJ?”

Not even a hey. Not even a look of surprise. Just cold indifference.

His jaw clenched, but he forced himself to smirk. “Good to see you too, sweetheart.”

You scoffed, turning your gaze back to your drink. “I’m not in the mood for whatever this is.”

JJ swallowed hard. He expected this—hell, maybe he even deserved it. But it didn’t stop the sting.

He hesitated before speaking. “Mind if I sit?”

You didn’t answer right away. For a second, he thought you’d tell him to leave. But then, with a sigh, you gestured to the seat across from you.

He slid into the booth, the silence stretching between you. It was agonizing, sitting across from you like strangers. You were acting like he was just some guy from the Cut, like you didn’t know every scar on his body, like you hadn’t once whispered you loved him more than anything in the world.

Like three years meant nothing.

“You’re drinking whiskey now?” he asked, noting the glass in your hand.

You hummed in response, taking a slow sip. “Tastes better than beer.”

JJ let out a dry chuckle. “Didn’t used to think that.”

You finally turned to face him, eyes sharp. “Yeah, well, a lot of things change, don’t they?”

That hit harder than he expected.

JJ exhaled, rubbing a hand over his jaw. “Look, I didn’t come over to start anything. I just—” he hesitated, choosing his words carefully. “I saw you sitting here alone.”

You huffed a laugh, shaking your head. “So what? You thought I needed company?”

“Maybe,” he admitted, watching your reaction closely.

You pursed your lips, tilting your head slightly. “Well, you were wrong.”

JJ nodded slowly, staring down at the condensation on his beer bottle. “Fair enough.”

For a few moments, you both didn't utter a word. He could feel the weight of all the unspoken words hovering over the two of you, thick and suffocating. He wanted to ask why you were alone, where that polished guy was, but something told him that question wouldn’t go over well - yet he did it anyway.

“So,” he started, leaning back against the booth. “Where’s your boyfriend?”

Your fingers tensed around your glass. “Not here.”

“Obviously.”

You exhaled sharply, shaking your head. “If you must know, he cheated.”

JJ blinked. “What?”

You let out a bitter laugh, swirling your drink. “Yeah. Found out last week. Some touron at the B&B.”

Anger flared in his chest. He never liked the guy, but hearing that? That was enough to make his blood boil. “You’re serious?”

“No, JJ, I’m making it up for fun.”

He ignored your sarcasm. “What a fucking idiot.”

You shrugged, trying to seem like you didn't care, like you weren't disappointed at the fact that you were a victim of another douche didn't know what he had when he had it. But, JJ knew you too well. The tension in your shoulders, the way you avoided his gaze—it hurt you more than you let on.

He leaned forward. “You okay?”

You laughed again, but there was no humor in it. “Why do you care?”

His heart clenched. “Because I do.”

You scoffed. “That’s rich.”

The weight of everything unsaid pressed between you yet again. The breakup, the months apart, the way he let you walk away. He didn’t know how to fix it, but damn it, he wanted to try.

JJ wanted to say more, to tell you that the guy never deserved you anyway, that you deserved someone who would never even look at another girl. But he held his tongue, because who was he to say any of that? Sure, JJ let you walk away. He didn't fight for you how he should have, but he only ever had eyes for you. He still does.

So instead, he asked, “Can we talk?”

You scoffed. “Aren’t we already?”

He let out a breathy chuckle, shaking his head. “You know what I mean.”

You glanced at him then, something unreadable in your expression. After a moment, you sighed and took another sip. “Fine. Talk.”

And so he did. About the last month, about random things that didn’t matter but somehow still did. Slowly, the stiffness in your shoulders faded. And somewhere between old memories and quiet laughs, the wall you had put up started to crack.

For the first time that night, you really looked at him. Studied him. He wondered what you saw—if you saw the same boy who once held you close on cold December nights, who kissed you like you were his only safe place in the world.

Hours passed, and neither of you moved. It was almost like old times—except it wasn’t, because nothing could be the same again.

The winter wind rattled against the thin walls of the Chateau, but inside, beneath a pile of mismatched blankets, it was warm. JJ held you close, your head tucked beneath his chin, your fingers tracing slow, lazy patterns along his arm.

“I love you,” you murmured, your voice soft but certain. “So much, JJ.”

His body stiffened, just slightly. Not because he didn’t feel it too—God, he did—but because he never knew what to do with love when it was handed to him so freely.

You pulled back slightly, tilting your head to look at him. “You mean everything to me, you know that?”

JJ swallowed, his throat suddenly tight. He wanted to say it back, to tell you that you were his whole damn world, but the words got stuck somewhere between his heart and his mouth.

Instead, all he managed was, “Thank you. You know you mean a lot to me too.”

Your expression flickered—just for a second. And in that moment, he saw it. The way you were starting to carry all the weight in this relationship. The way he was slowly, unintentionally, breaking you down.

JJ cleared his throat, shaking the memory away. That was months ago. This was now. And now, you barely even wanted to look at him.

He leaned forward, tapping his fingers against the table. “Listen, I know things ended… messy. And I don’t blame you for hating me.”

Your eyes flickered, something unreadable passing through them. “I don’t hate you.”

He tilted his head. “You sure? ‘Cause you’re acting like you don’t even know me.”

You let out a breath, running a hand through your hair. “I don’t know how to do this, JJ. How am I supposed to just sit here and pretend like nothing happened?”

He hesitated, then said, “Then don’t.”

You blinked. “What?”

“Don’t pretend,” he said simply. ““Yeah. I mean, we’ve known each other too long to just—pretend the other doesn’t exist. Let’s be real. We were a mess, but… I still want you in my life.”

A bitter smile played at your lips. “And what exactly do you want us to be?”

JJ hesitated. What he wanted was to tell you he still loved you, that he never stopped. But what he said was: “Friends.”

Your brows lifted slightly. “Friends?”

He nodded, ignoring the painful twist in his chest. “Yeah. We can do that, right?”

You studied him, and for a moment, he thought you might say no. But then you sighed, taking another sip of your drink. “I don’t know how to be your friend, JJ.”

He forced a smirk, though it felt hollow. “Guess we’ll figure it out.”

You looked at him for a long moment, as if searching for something. Finally, you nodded. “Okay.”

But as you both sat there, stealing glances and fidgeting with your drinks, you both knew this wasn’t going to be easy.

JJ was still hopelessly in love with you.

And unbeknownst to him, you had never stopped loving him either

The conversation started slow, cautious. Small talk about the Pogues, the latest island gossip, how things had changed—or hadn’t—since you last really spoke. But somewhere along the way, the tension began to fade.

You teased him about his ridiculous new sunburn. He rolled his eyes when you admitted you still couldn’t make it through a horror movie without covering your eyes. And for the first time in months, it felt easy.

Both of you were tiptoeing around the past. It wasn’t easy—nothing about you two ever was—but for now, it was something.

Like maybe, just maybe, this could work.

And JJ would take whatever he could get.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “You, uh… still hate pickles on your burger?”

The question caught you off guard, but then—finally—a small smile tugged at your lips. “Yeah.”

JJ glanced at you, watching as you stared down at your empty glass, lost in thought. He knew he could ruin this in an instant—say too much, feel too much, want too much. But instead, he forced a smile and nudged your arm. He was aching to touch you, even if it had to be masked with platonic intentions.

Before you both knew it, the bartender called out for last rounds. It was 2am. You had spent 4 hours just, talking.

“That’s our sign to wrap it up then, huh?” You point out.

“I guess it is.” He responded, with a hint of disappointment embedded in his tone.

You start to leave, but were interrupted.

“So… friends?” JJ asks.

You turned to him, surprised. And then you smiled—really smiled. The kind that made his heart stop, the kind that reminded him of everything he lost.

“Friends,” you said softly.

Something inside him ached. Before he could stop himself, before he could think, he leaned in and pressed a light, fleeting kiss to your cheek. It was impulsive, instinctive. A habit he couldn’t quite break.

And you let him.

JJ pulled back, watching for any sign that he had crossed a line. But you just looked at him, something unreadable in your eyes. Then, without a word, you slid out of the booth, grabbing your bag.

And just like that, you left The Wreck, going your separate ways. Stepping into whatever this new thing between you was—unsure, unsteady, but together.

For now, that was enough.

JJ exhaled, something in his chest loosening as he watched you leave the building. Maybe you were still in there, somewhere.

Maybe he hadn’t lost you completely.

[aesethewitch]

Advertisement Adversaries #2: "Gender Swap Spell"

Hello, and welcome to the second installment of Advertisement Adversaries! This series aims to dissect unethical, unfair, deceptive, and just plain Not Good sales strategies found in the witchcraft community. We also cover legitimate sellers to highlight good marketing, listings, and business practices! The goal is to improve the legit witches' businesses and educate folks on scams, grifts, and marketing manipulations.

You can read more about this project here (Tumblr) or here (my website). You can also read this post on Ko-Fi or a better-formatted version on my website. (Note: Some images just wouldn't upload to Ko-Fi for some reason, so I strongly recommend using the website!)

Each entry covers one listing from a seller's catalogue. I score the listing on a scale of one to five in six categories: Clarity, Transparency, Presence, Genuineness, Verifiability, and Morality. Legitimate sellers get an extra category of Attractiveness/Advice for Improvement.

Please Note: I had so many screenshots for this listing, I've had to cut out a handful because of Tumblr's image limit. To see ALL of the images I captured, please pop over to my website for the full experience.

Now, let's have a look at today's entry into this series:

Advertisement Details

Who is the advertiser -- or who do they claim to be? Who is their apparent primary audience? What are they selling? What's their tone? What's the vibe? What are the first impressions?

Spell scams on Etsy are a dime a dozen. This one I've chosen has just about everything a scam boogeyman like me could possibly want. But let's start right from the top, shall we?

Now, this is a total scam, so we're naming and shaming, but I have another reason for naming this one. (Note that all other names, such as reviewer names, have been redacted from screenshots or otherwise omitted for their privacy.)

This listing comes from an Etsy shop called "MariahSpells." They last updated their shop announcements on September 6, 2024. The listing we're focusing on is one for a "Gender Swap Spell." Yeah, that's right, I'm fucking going there.

A lot of Etsy spells targeting trans people look like this. Many of them make it seem like it's a spell for a physical transformation, but really, you're getting an ~emotional transformation~ to help you along your ~spiritual journey~ and make you ~feel things~. But again, they market like it's a physical change and then pull this to prevent complaints or required refunds.

Not so with MariahSpells! No, no! This spell is going to change you physically. No HRT required. You want a dick? Envision it. Write it out. They're gonna make that happen for you. Let's fucking go.

God, I wish it worked that way.

No frills, no bullshit, and a 100% success guarantee. This Ancient and Powerful Spell is going to Fix You. No refunds.

Normally, I have to make an educated assumption about who these scams are targeting. But MariahSpells is doing my work for me:

Specifically and deliberately targeting vulnerable trans people who are desperate for a change. Nice. Note also the emphasis on "opposite sex" throughout this listing. We love erasing intersex and non-binary people, don't we?

But I can really see a depressed, desperate trans person buying this spell. And someone did.

Fucking tragic. This review was put up after I decided to cover this listing but before I started working on this. Someone bought this, perhaps because they can't access HRT safely where they are or because they want quicker results from their transition. I don't know for sure, but that's the kind of person this listing (and listings like this one) are targeting.

This shop, according to the main page, has received over 2,000 sales since it opened. Two thousand sales. Most of the other services in this shop aren't as exorbitantly priced as this one, but many of them are. One is, I shit you not, seven hundred dollars. ON SALE. To become a vampire -- yes, a real one, immortal and all. (But don't worry, that listing says you won't incur bad karma for it. Yippee!)

And that's all just on the surface. Let's do a smidge of digging.

Based on the shop name, you'd think that the seller's name is Mariah. But in their listing, all the way at the bottom in the "waxing poetic about themselves" section, we see this:

Why would your shop be MariahSpells if your name is Sayran? Now, I thought this was odd until I found a particular review with a link to a different Etsy shop that appears to have been forcibly shut down -- with the same qualifications listed in the description.

So, this isn't this person's name, and they've reopened a shop despite being shut down on another... which also wasn't their actual name. It makes me wonder how many times this person has done this, and whether they have other shopfronts they're running at the same time. Classic scam behavior: Change shop names after being reported/marked as a scam/taken down and keep on selling the same empty promises.

Admittedly, I'm not super familiar with Syriac magic or its traditions, so I'm staying away from commenting on that. If anyone reading this knows anything about it and is willing to dig into it, please let me know in the replies/reblogs or tag me in a separate post - if you've got the details, I want to read them! I did a little reading, but I had to put it down to focus on the rest of this review.

However, even without knowing about Syriac magic, I can't confirm anything about this person's practice or even their existence, because they have no social media. There are no links on the shop page, in the about section, or elsewhere. Even a wider search (using the current shop name, the prior shop name, and both listed seller names) brings up nothing. This seller doesn't exist outside this shop. Red fucking flag.

The overall tone of this listing is superior. It takes swipes at "fake wizards" and "everyone presenting themselves as a witch" in order to make this particular seller appear more legitimate.

The seller also takes time to shit on other listings that rely on the buyer's "positive thinking" to make their magic work -- or, really, to blame the buyer for spells not working.

I agree with them that it's scummy to blame the buyer and use their "negativity" as a scapegoat. Hilarious to see it on such a blatant scam.

Now, let's take a second to talk about the price and this sale that's going on. I took almost all of these screenshots on February 18, 2025 (others had to be redone due to formatting issues or because I forgot to grab a couple). I'm doing a first draft on the 19th, and as of literally right now as I'm typing this, the sale has about an hour and fifteen minutes left. I'm keeping an eye on it.

This is an exorbitant price for a service where your only verification is a photo which can easily be fabricated. You can't verify the services via reviews, either, because all of the reviews for spell services are premature ones giving five stars before any results are even given. (And for another reason, which I'll talk about later!)

This is now me, a couple hours later, returning to the listing. Lo and behold:

The sale is still on. It's still 50% off. But hey, it still has that "biggest markdown" banner on it. That's strange... a glitch, maybe?

Nope. Check the prices. The seller knocked a couple cents off the original price to make the sale price the "new lowest in 60 days." They're artificially forcing that message to keep up the sale hype. It's why the price is such a strange amount; they've been doing this since at least October 2024, maybe longer.

This isn't something you'd notice unless you were obsessively checking on it... like me. Gotcha, bitch.

Overall, the impression is fuckin' bad. Obviously. Between the bootleg Sims AI generated listing picture, the putting-down of other sellers, the product description, and the "sale" rug-pull, this listing is an incredible, pristine example of an Etsy Spell Scam.

Let's talk nitty-gritty.

Clarity

How clear is the language? Does it use a bunch of obscure terms or talk in circles? Is it obvious what the buyer will receive based on this listing alone?

I mean, it's pretty obvious what you're getting on the surface. It's a spell that's going to cause a physical transformation to you based on your specifications vis a vis gender transition.

But here's the thing: You don't actually know what's happening. What kind of spell is this? What ritual is being done? What concern is there for the buyer? It says this spell is permanent, but what does that mean? Does that mean it can't be undone at all? And if that's the case, how is this spell being bound to the buyer?

The seller says they're a Syriac magician, but that's a pretty niche tradition. The average person isn't going to know anything about it. You'd think they would take the opportunity to play up the exotic, exclusive nature of their magic by explaining a little more about the spell or ritual... but that would require there to be an actual spell happening, wouldn't it?

This listing is constantly talking in circles about how great the spell is and how powerful the magic is and how the effects are worth the price. But note that it doesn't detail what effects you're going to see. Note, again, that it's just repeating the same shit over and over and over again: "it's gonna work, I'm gonna do the spell for you, it's super powerful, you want this spell, it's gonna work..."

The only proof you're going to get of this spell happening is a photo, and only if you demand one. Based on reviews, buyers apparently get a short blurb stating that the spell has been done and the picture. Immediately after purchase, you get a JPG thank you message to download. You get the rest later.

My issue with "photo proof" of spells is that they can easily be faked. They can be stolen from the internet. They can be a set of photos that are being reused over and over again for different buyers. They can be real... but the setup may not be a true spell. It would be pretty easy to light some candles and draw a circle and take a picture to claim it's a spell when it's just... candles and a doodle. You know? Clarity for this listing gets a 1/5. It gets a singular point for saying what the spell is for and generally what it's intended to do, but most of the listing is sucking their own Very Ancient And Powerful dick instead of giving actual details about the spell.

Transparency

Is the seller honest about their refund/returns policy? Is it obvious where materials are being sourced? Is the seller being honest and clear about their credentials and/or qualifications?

On the surface, this seller is upfront about their refunds policy. As in, they don't do refunds. Their policy and other disclaimers are clearly stated at the bottom of the listing.

Standard stuff overall. We love to see a 100% guarantee followed up by "but I'm not responsible if it doesn't work." It's required, yes, but it's still funny. Also incredible to have a disclaimer about not providing medical advice on a listing about, y'know, a medical thing. (They also have a weight loss spell. Take that as you will.) The swap to "we" in the disclaimers is a little strange. It strikes me as something they've copied from another seller's listings or a different source and then edited to their liking.

As for materials, I have no idea where they're getting their stuff. They say that they use only the highest quality materials, but who knows?

We don't know what materials are being used in this spell, so there's no way to fact check this. This is on purpose.

And, once again, there's absolutely no way to verify this person's credentials. I can't even verify that they're a real person who practices magic! So, I can't say one way or the other if they're telling the truth.

It really seems like their refunds policy and general disclaimers are the only verifiably transparent things here, huh? That's worth a point, probably...

Except it isn't. I took a couple hours to read through every single review this shop has ever received, because I was curious. I found a couple strange things that I'll talk about further along in this review, but right now, I want to focus on this:

(For more examples, please see the version of this post on my website.)

Well, well, well. If it isn't my favorite grifter behavior, the old-fashioned bribe for better reviews. What this seller has done is offer refunds, exchanges, or other services in order to convince low-star reviewers to change their ratings. And it seems that at least a handful of people have taken them up on this offer. These folks have said that this is what happened, as you can see. I can't help but wonder how many of these other five-star reviews are fake, now, too.

Peeking at the listings those reviews are from, their prices are significantly lower than this listing we're focusing on. But you can imagine the draw of getting a $200 refund when you realize you've been scammed, right? Wouldn't you update your review to get that much money back? I would be tempted, I'm not gonna lie.

Then again, I'd probably update it again once I had my money back to be as close to zero stars as possible. Because fuck this behavior.

Transparency gets a solid fuck-you 0/5. They're actively lying about not providing refunds to cover their ass and bribe unsatisfied customers while hiding their identity and details of the spell.

Presence

Is the seller present anywhere other than their shop? Do they share anything about their process, method, or practice anywhere? Are they actually part of a community, or are they just selling something?

As mentioned way up above, I did a lot of digging. This seller has no social media that I can find. My guess is, because this is a scam shopfront using an alias, that I'm not meant to be able to find them anywhere else. Because they don't exist. This is a scam attempting to get as much money from you as possible before Etsy finds them again and shuts it down. They're not part of any community.

Also, interestingly, while I was trying to find anything about this shop, I found a couple Reddit threads that had been deleted talking about the shop. I couldn't recover any of the contents of those threads, unfortunately. Shame. It is interesting, though, that all of them were scrubbed. No idea if there's something bigger going on there or if it's just a coincidence. But it's interesting.

I found something else really interesting while combing through all of those reviews. There's a period from roughly February 2024 to August 2024 where this seller received a ton of one-star reviews in a row. All of them say that they never heard from the seller and never received their services.

The most recent of these one-star reviews is this one, followed by the reply left by the seller:

I can neither confirm nor deny the tragedy of this, because again, they have no other presence, and no lasting messages available other than the complaint reviews on the shop. And yet, I'm inclined to believe that this is at least somewhat true. Something happened in this seller's life that caused them to abandon this shop for several months. They'd been making steady sales before this with really positive reviews.

But Etsy has a vacation mode. Sellers can temporarily suspend their shops in the event of vacation, emergency, illness, or whatever else. Why didn't this person use this feature? It could be because of the "star seller" thing, since that's assessed on a three month cycle, and if a shop isn't active at all during the grading period, it'll lose star status. But neglecting the shop for seven months does the same thing! What the hell??

I'm uncertain if these people got refunds. According to the seller's review reply shown above, they apparently reached out to everyone who ordered from them. One person came back to amend their review to be five stars, stating that they spoke to the shop owner and giving their condolences.

One thing I'm certain of, though, is that this sale thing is surely a result of that low period. The shop's seemingly genuine and astroturf-like reviews resume around September/October 2024, and I know that these sales were going on then because of a review talking about "taking your $30 elsewhere." That's the approximate price of the service they bought.

So, either this "sale" tactic has been happening for a long time, or it's a newer scheme to boost the shop back up to where it was previously. I imagine the seller was desperate to get back to their five-star status after all those nasty reviews. No wonder they're bribing for stars and burying those negative reviews under mountains of premature and potentially false praise. Even if it's because of a genuine tragedy, this is gross behavior.

Presence gets an obvious 0/5. Even off-site reviews are non-existent.

Genuineness

Are listing photos genuine? Are any images AI, or is any copy written by an AI? Is this a real person selling something, or is this a bot account?

So, this listing has a bunch of images attached to it. The first one, the one you see in the Etsy search, is AI generated. Take a close look at it and note the blur on the earrings and the frames of the glasses melding into the eye/eyebrow shapes on the right.

Two of the images provided are collages of five-star reviews. I'm ignoring these, because I think it's gauche to do this when you're a legit seller. Doing it when you're a full-blown scammer is just ridiculous.

The rest of the images in this listing seem real, though! They're real pictures. What a refreshing and reassuring thing that is. (Very heavy sarcasm.)

I have three problems with these images, listed here in order from least to most bothersome.

First, these images don't really... match the spell at all. A couple seem like spells to bind two people together, like the ones with the figurine candles and the two poppets tied together. The others are generic spell circles.

My second issue is that every single spell listing in this shop has the same exact images. It quickly becomes obvious why they don't match the spell in question -- they're being reused again and again because they're eye-catching! The average consumer isn't going to be combing through every single listing, they're using the search bar to find specific spells and clicking the one(s) that catch their eye.

The third issue is that every single one of these images is stolen. Several are images that have been commonly reposted for the past decade (like the voodoo doll one). But a couple of these are kind of strange. Take this one, for example:

This image, as far as I can tell, comes from this article, which is about Syriac magic. It is, if Firefox's translate feature is to be trusted, a beginner-level article about Syriac magic. The image in the listing is the same one found on this article, just zoomed in and with a weird lightning filter overtop. This makes me wonder if this seller searched "syriac magic ritual picture" or something similar to get this image. I tried a couple ways, but this is a niche website in Turkish, so I'm not surprised I couldn't get it to populate in my search results.

Let's see this one also, since it's similarly stolen:

This one seems like it might be from this website, which is a French psychic's personal website advertising various spell services. I'm not 100% certain about this image's origins, but this one made the most sense out of the options.

A common thread between all of these images is that they were, at one point or another, reposted to Facebook. All of them, even the obscure one from the Turkish website. Not sure what exactly that means, but it is a pattern.

Well, with that reveal out of the way, let's go ahead and give Genuineness a score of 0/5. Not a single thing here is legitimate or genuine.

Verifiability

Is it obvious how a buyer will know their service is completed? Is it possible for the buyer to know? Are there any reviews verifying the quality/existence of the products or services? Are there negative reviews available?

All of the spells being provided, this one included, are "service only." That means you don't get a physical item, which means there's no tangible proof of service. You get a photo, as previously mentioned, and a reportedly brief summary of the spell's completion. I've already stated my issues with this, since there's no way to be certain that the service was done with just a short summary and an easily-faked photo.

Almost all of the reviews in this shop, and the one review on this particular listing, are positive. There are a sprinkling of negative reviews from 2024 complaining about not receiving what they paid for, a lack of detail in communication, and lack of results. The majority of reviews mention quick, attentive communication and fast turnaround for service completion.

And most of the reviews are premature. Nearly every single one of these reviews was left before the customer could see results, and most of them admit it.

I have two big problems with this. The first is that scammers like this will ask for positive reviews immediately, even when the supposed results might take months to manifest. The second is that a lot of these reviews come from the same person, all saying roughly the same thing about different services, all on the same day. It is possible that these are genuine, but it wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility to call this astroturfing. Plus, with the proof of the seller bribing reviewers for refunds/other services, this reeks of falsified reviews.

So you can't trust the images, you can't trust the positive reviews, and you can't even tell if the seller is a real person. To me, that's textbook scam material. This seller gets 0/5 for Verifiability.

Morality

Are they offering services related to health, mental health, legal services, or other dubious subjects? Are they knowingly targeting a vulnerable audience using buzzwords and inflammatory language? Is the listing sharing misinformation or encouraging belief in conspiracy theories? Does the listing contain debunkable information? Does the listing participate in bigotry, cultural appropriation, bioessentialism, or anything of that nature?

I would like to fistfight this seller behind a Walmart.

Targeting vulnerable populations with impossible magical results and charging hundreds of dollars for empty promises is deplorable. It's disgusting. The intense "BUY NOW!!!" language coupled with sales that go on seemingly forever while being teased as "limited time" just compounds the scummy nature of this listing.

Not to mention the blatant erasure of intersex people and non-binary identities! "Opposite sex," my fucking foot. Obvious scam aside, if you don't know enough about trans people and the biology of gender to realize that it's more complex than one or the other, you're not qualified to cast spells like this.

This is a scam, plain and simple. It's designed to catch the eye of someone desperate enough to take a chance on wasting over a hundred dollars on the body of their dreams. They are continually adjusting the prices and renewing the sale to keep the urgency of "this BIGGEST SALE EVER is going to end soon!!!" going as long as possible. It's a scam.

Fuck you, Sayran/MariahSpells/whoever the hell you are. Morality is an extremely obvious 0/5.

Average Score & Summary

The average of all six scores comes to a whopping 0.2/5 (rounded up). I'm not surprised. With five zeroes and a single one on the board, this scam really does have everything.

I went into this review knowing that this was going to be a bad one. I wanted to cover this one specifically because it has all the hallmarks of an obvious scam. Because we can look at this and go, "Well, who the hell would fall for this? It's so obvious that this is bullshit, isn't it?"

But people do fall for it. People fall for it all the time. I went to the listing to copy some text for alt text descriptions on February 25, 2025, and saw this:

Another sale and another review, so the listing must be gone now, right? Only one left, and all that. Nope.

Of course not, because this is a scam. This asshole is going to keep doing this as long as they can, because it's making them a shitload of money.

Knowledgeable, considerate, genuine people buy this shit, because they want to believe. They're desperate for something they can't otherwise attain easily or safely.These scams are deliberately curated to fool the unwary, the hopeful, the desperate, the naive.

You are not immune to scams.

Let's summarize, quickly, the big warning signs found in this shop that mark it as a scam:

No social media, website, or other presence outside the shop

Big promises without explanation of how they're possible or how they're going to be fulfilled; minimal proof of completion promised

High prices slashed with sales throughout the shop

Sales that don't end to create an extreme and fabricated sense of urgency

Negative reviews with five stars, reviews edited in exchange for refunds, reviews edited by other coercion

Multiple positive, samey reviews from the same person on multiple products all on the same day

A listing that is mostly bragging about power and prestige rather than explaining the product/service in any kind of detail

Mismatch between the tradition/practice of the person and the services being offered and/or the language being used (being of an "ancient tradition" and yet using very modern New Age terminology)

Stolen listing photos, AI-generated images

It's a lot, but like I said, I picked this one because it has pretty much everything.

I believe that magic can help a trans person along their transition journey. Absolutely. Sure. Make your meds work faster, prevent misgendering, protect you from harm, smooth coming out conversations, etc. I've done all of these things successfully myself.

Magic cannot force an impossible change. If something isn't physically possible, magic isn't going to make it happen for you. A spell won't change your chromosomes. In my paradigm, this is explained by knots of Fate and Being that can't be untied.

This spell would not do anything. Even if the seller was genuine, this spell wouldn't do anything for you. Maybe if it was a spell intended to help your HRT act quicker or more effectively, or help you find a surgeon more easily, or something else like that, I could believe it. But a magic spell from Etsy isn't a replacement for medicine.

It can be fun to perform these spells, though. Spells to transform yourself into a fucking dragon rule. They're fun experiments. The day one of these spells works, you'll never hear from me again, because I'll be a jellyfish floating in the deep depths of the ocean forever and ever.

Have fun with magic. Just don't spend $150 on an Etsy scam for a scrap of false hope.

And, just as a final note, fuck Etsy for letting this kind of thing go. Fuck Etsy for giving scammers like this one (and many others) "Star Seller" status. You'd think they wouldn't just award that to anyone. You'd think that kind of recognition would come with some oversight for quality assurance, but no. Etsy lets scams like this thrive because they make a huge profit. Etsy's quality has been dropping across the board for years now, and I would genuinely encourage legitimate sellers looking for a place to hawk their wares to go elsewhere.

Know that I've reported this shop to Etsy. We'll see if that goes anywhere. I'll update if it does.

Final Notes

Many sellers in this series anonymous for a reason. Please do not go find these people. Even if I'm exposing a blatant scam to warn people about it, do not harass anyone. Harassment of any kind will not be tolerated. When appropriate, I attempt to contact the seller(s) to discuss their ads and listings or report them where possible. Again, do not attempt to contact or bother the sellers, even if my coverage of them is negative.

If you spot an ad or a product listing in the wild that you want me to see or cover, send me a link, a screenshot, or the name of the shop. You can send it via ask or DM on Tumblr or to thewitchaese@gmail.com. Or, if you're a legitimate seller and want me to take a look at your listings (anonymous or not), shoot me a message or an email to chat about it! Examples of what to do are just as important as examples of what not to do, after all.

And, if you enjoy this series or my other work, please consider dropping a couple dollars in my tip jar! Writing is my full-time gig, and contributions help keep this boat afloat.

Thanks for reading!

[leviackermanstoes]

GOD PLEASE I NEED ALUCARD X FEM READER WHO IS ALSO HALF VAMPIRE. It would be good if we got something along the timeline of castlevania nocture. Maybe Alucard mets the reader after decades or so. Reader has the same personality as Alucard but she’s more straightforward and obviously very supportive of whatever Alucard is on about. YEARNING ALARM INCOMING.

Bring back male yearning🙏uh I kinda changed it up a bit but it should still be okay I hope😭

---

He's begging babe, stay, stay, stay...stay...stay.

-very little warnings on this one. Just lots of fluff and cute alucard. Sappy vampire shit. Minor sad themes🫶

-

you stood by the training dummies watching as richter practised his moves. It was late into the afternoon, and even later, when maria returned with the fruits, she said she had been told to gather.

"Told by who?" Your brows furrowed.

"Alucard" maria shrugged her shoulders and walked off.

Staring as your heart skipped a beat, you found yourself wanting to fall into the grass to your knees. Alucard? There was no way. Not your alucard...? You stood up and told richter training was over and walked him back to the castle where all your suspicions and fears were made true.

There, at the bottom of castle steps, stood None other than adriān alucard tepes in all his glory, tall and unwavering Like a pale, golden brick wall. As he conversed with maria, you hoped you would be able to sneak past him in order to avoid drama or a sticky situation.

But as soon as his golden eyes met yours. You were done for.

"___?"

He said it shakily and breathy as if he didn't believe it was actually you. He stepped away from maria and walked towards you where his head almost fell off his shoulders. You weren't fake. But how were you still here? Still so you, still so...beautiful.

Alucard's hands were still shaking when he reached out to feel your shoulder, immediately taking them away in seconds so as not to make you uncomfortable. You didn't know what to make of all of this, your former love and the only man who ever made you feel worth something was standing infront of you after all these years.

50

Fifty fucking years.

"Adriān?"

It's not like you believed it yourself either. I mean, he was here, just standing here with the other teen you had been training. Standing before you like, he'd never left that position in all those decades he spent apart from you. Would he even want to love you again? And if you tried to tell him how strong your feelings for him still are, would he reciprocate them?

"We should uhhh...head inside before the storm comes over"

Richter stuttered on his words as him and maria watched the two of you. Alucard turnt his head, leaving his eyes on you for as long as he can before he puts them to richter.

"Head inside, we shall meet you momentarily"

And as the rains began to pour, young richter belmont and maria renard ran inside, leaving their mentors to stand in the freezing rain. It had been maria's guess that alucard hated rain, so she had to give him her extra bread at dinner.

"Where have you been?" He asked shakily.

Truth be told, you had never seen him so...like this. So desperate yet so far away that telling him anything either brought him closer or too far away to hear the rest of your words. Afraid of admitting to him that you had been thinking about him every second since the two of you split up.

"I've been out fighting. Protecting targoviste"

"Targoviste?" He repeated.

Alucard puts his lips together. You're so unsure of what to do that it's almost impossible to find any kind of words to say to him, so you give him a smile and walk inside with either tears or rain gathering on your face.

-

Richter belmont watched as you stood on the castles balcony, pondering over the last hour that you went through. He thought maybe that you and alucard were just having a rough patch and were actually the best of friends, but after seeing the whole day having gone through without your both talking, he knew something had to be more than just not talking.

"Miss?" He said

"Yes, richter?" You turnt your head.

The tall teen walked to you with a curious head on him. You knew he wanted to know about you and alucard, but you didn't quite know what to tell him because for all sakes of heaven, you didn't even know what to tell yourself.

"I know what you're here for richter. Sit and I'll tell you everything you want to know"

Who were you to deny your young trainee what he asked for? A simple sappy, emotional story that he willing wanted to hear.

"Where do you want me to start?" You asked him

Richter's face dwindled. "At the start. I want to hear everything if you can"

You nodded at him. Staring down into the down dark forest, only a few thoughts came to your mind. It's all so thorough, so inextricably bound to you through your heart and soul that you don't even know how much you can say without falling into pieces.

"Alucard is... someone very important to me. He's been there for me when I needed him and when I didn't"

"When you didn't?" Richter interjected.

"Yes. Often, he would appear even when I was mad at him or angry with him or after we'd had a fight. Alucard would've hugged me even if I had told him i never to see him again" you almost laughed to yourself.

You weren't sure if richter was going to understand the level of love, but you figured that if he wanted to know, he may have some idea.

"So is he your husband?" He asked

And well

You didn't want to answer that. "No. He's not. But he is someone I love dearly"

"So why did you not talk to him for decades?"

You sighed. And just like every other year, someone had asked you that you put your head in your hands and didn't care whether or not your hair was in front of your face. As the cold wind blew on your dress gently or tore it to shreds.

"It's hard to say." You rested your chin on your hands, holding your head up as you found the words. "People grow apart sometimes"

"You don't seem like people who grow apart"

For a 19 year old, he was oddly wise in what he said. Just like trevor. Who might have been an idiot at times, but there was a time he couldn't give the best words to help you.

"Where's the time going to spend all of it together?" You replied.

----

It wasn't til late the next night when alucard finally spoke a word to you after your moment. His black clothing was blending into the dark forest as you both walked, only the bits of gold gleamed.

He was still as beautiful as the day he let you go. Still so angelic and bright-eyed. Still looking like everything you wanted. Still so riddled with haunt and dread but managing to look ethereal.

"So...what have your decades been like?" Is all you managed to say.

Alucard stopped in his tracks, you turnt back to look at him. His face was undeniably read with something visibly...almost pissed off. In a way that made you suddenly scared for your life.

"Adriān?"

"Don't"

"What's happened?" You asked

Alucard only stood there in silence as if he expected you to know what he was thinking. But you weren't a mind reader. Maybe he had had a couple of bad years and you had triggered him by asking.

You stepped closer to him.

"Is that seriously all you have to say to me?" His brows are tight in frustration.

"I-im sorry i-" alucard tightly grabbed your waist and pulled you closer to him.

All the air between the two of you was sucked out and all hope of having a civil conversation was almost gone when his cold hand came to your cheek. But he stopped himself.

"Fuck"

And then he stepped away like he'd made a grave mistake. You could now only see his broad back and smell him on you, all over and in the air. Just like every day.

"Please don't leave me in the dark again adriān"

"For so long," his voice was gruff and smooth. It's tense like he struggled to speak. "I waited to see you again. Gods above, I prayed to every single one of them just to see you again. I would've scoured the burnt edged of the world to find you again"

He turnt to you, golden eyes immediately found yours.

"And now that I have you, it's like every fibre of my being has been torn to shreds and sealed in a box only you can open again. I am on fire when I am with you, thin like paper so that you may never feel I am hiding anything from you, and yet..."

Alucard sighed, his fangs baring just slightly. Something that always made you drown. Alucard was beautiful, stunning, and angelic, and he knew it. You felt like he did use it against you sometimes. As trevor once told you, "Pretty people get whatever they want by looking at you"

And alucard was a perfect example.

"Yet you look at me as if you don't know anything about me. Like I am the only person in the world you despise"

Despise? Not a word you would use to describe how you felt about alucard...your Adriān...your lover. You're everything. You want to say maybe you could but you know absolutely know from the bottom of you heart that there is no corner of your soul where adriān tepes is despised by you.

"I don't despise you. Gods, i could never despise you. " you breathed out

Tears welled in your eyes. "For gods sake, you stupid vampire, come and kiss me, would you"

Without a second thought, alucard almost teleported to you, and within a second, he is kissing you like there's nothing else in the world to do. You can feel the scratching on his nails as he grabs at your hair, but you don't care. You don't care about anything except for the fact that the man who has entirely captured your heart has his lips on yours for the first time after decades, almost centuries of pining over him and begging at the sky, adrian alucard tepes finally has you in his grasp.

[accio-victuuri]

xiao zhan gucci mfw interview with vogue ❤️

Q: How do you feel about seeing GUCCI's fashion show again? Do you understand the message that this fashion show is trying to convey?

🐰: First of all, I just arrived in Milan the other day. This time feels very special. Because I really like the design of their venue. It's unique. The design of the venue is like the GUCCI logo and has a circular concept.

Q: How did you choose the outfit for today's fashion show?

🐰: When I just arrived in Milan, they gave me an outfit to choose from. In the end, I chose this one. I think it's quite special. It's a very sophisticated jacket, and the combination of leather and materials is very special. There are also accessories such as sunglasses and a necklace. I think it's very GUCCI.

Q: But I think the highlight should be your inner shirt.

🐰: This shirt? Hahaha, it's okay.

Q: The style is different from the last fashion show.

🐰: It's different. This time, we wanted to do something different from last time.

Q: Milan is a city you've been to many times. Before, did you walk around here or did you just work?

🐰: If I remember correctly, this should be the fourth time. Actually, every time I come here, I go for a walk. This time is the same. If I have time, I'll go for a walk.

Q: Where did you go?

🐰: A secret.

Q: Can you recommend some must-try local food for people who come to Milan?

🐰: Do you want me to recommend some?

Q: There are many good Sichuan restaurants in Milan. I even had hot pot.

🐰: Oh, look. I have no idea. I think everyone should recommend to me. Because every time I come here, I eat local food, like pizza and pasta. But I've never eaten Sichuan food in Milan.

Q: What are you having for dinner?

🐰: I haven't thought about it yet. But since you mentioned Sichuan food, I'll try to find it.

Q: I saw a tram on the street in Milan with your name on it. This is a gift that fans gave you. Have you seen it?

🐰: I saw it. I was shocked, but also very warm and touched. I have to thank them for preparing this surprise for me.

Q: Fashion is not just about clothes. What is your opinion on fashion?

🐰: After watching the fashion show today, I have a similar idea. It is a classic that has been around for a long time. Under the brand, it is distinctive and has its own uniqueness. We can still change a little bit.For example, this time I dressed quite simply, but in the past I chose contrasting colors, so I’m looking forward to the next image.

Q: When you take on different characters and gain a lot of life experience, has your idea of ​​fashion or aesthetics changed?

🐰: It hasn’t changed that much. I don’t think it’s changed much. It’s not much different from when I first debuted.

[chiaraforfun]

I think they both make fair points actually, because what @elenasalvatore1 is referred to what happened once they where together, and @jilyydoe to both before and during.

I've always been a big fan of Hinny, and I find this extremely true analysis a bit unsettling, lmao. However, I would like to clarify 3 points that are very subjective.

The first is that yes, Harry and Ginny probably wouldn’t have stayed together forever instead of what Rowling later decided, because they were likely together for insufficient reasons. At the same time, I don’t see Harry with Hermione as a good match (I could easily write a fanfic about it because it would work well as a romance, just to be clear). I don’t know if it’s because they literally grew up together, and I can’t fully support those couples who date young and end up marrying, but I never saw them as "in love".

They had a beautiful friendship, that's it.

However, it's also true that I love Romione, which goes against that last thought, BUT there has always been that... I don’t know... distance? The friendship that Hermione and Harry shared is not the same as that between Hermione and Ron. You could almost feel that tension from the start. So, I guess it makes less sense to me.

Point two: Ginny in the books is very different from the films, where they made her too flat, and while it may be true that the premises of their relationship were somewhat toxic (okay, maybe a bit more than somewhat), them being together makes sense. I reiterate, not forever, because I believe they would inevitably break up sooner or later, but in the books, it makes sense, and she is fantastic. I mean, she is mean to Fleur behind her back, but so is the rest of them beside a few if I remember properly. It's not an excuse but I think I remember Ginny and Hermione both making fun with Mrs Weasley.

She makes fun of Ron but let's be realistic, I did the same with my brother and he did the same with me. I'm not proud and growing up we changed but let's not forget she's still young!

All the dynamics makes sense if you think of her age.

We are so used to see the golden trio as "older" because of what they fight but in truth they are not.

So I guess I do give her a bit of an excuse for her behaviour. Also because she was funny, I'm sorry.

And then, as @jilyydoe pointed out, Harry's last thought before dying was about her so—why not!

Point three: for once, we’re not reading about the extremely predictable relationship between the protagonist and another main character. I mean, come on, let’s break away a bit. I love f/m friendship!

True friends, not romanticised.

Point 4 (that I forgot about): I really don't think that Ginny loves because of his popularity.

Surely that’s the reason she had a crush on him in the first year, but I don’t think that’s the reason she fell in love with him. I believe the story of the younger sister falling in love with her older brother's friend is an old classic, but there’s a deeper reason behind it. And it's the same thing here, among many reasons, right? I mean, Harry was constantly with Ron, he spent a lot of time with the rest of the brothers, and it often happened that he was at the Weasley house. In my opinion, she started to fall in love with him precisely by spending time together, gradually more and more, especially since at the beginning she was a bit pushed aside by her brother, lol. Then, indeed, she tried to have her own experiences and well, we all know how it went from there, toxic dynamics included.

But, I don’t think she fell in love with him for popularity. That, I would say, was just the spark that ignited everything else

I get all your other points and yess it's ruined a bit my idea, I won't idolise their relationship anymore (😭 ), and I get it, it's not that perfect, but maybe that's why I like Hinny so much; it’s unpredictable. It’s a couple that means nothing from a distance, but for them, it’s everything.

I don’t know, it makes sense to me, and I apologize for not being able to explain myself better. English is not my native language, and unfortunately, I don’t know how else to convey these concepts.

P.S.: The thing that makes me cringe a little about Hinny, I have to admit, is that it gives me a bit of a “mommy issues” vibe because of the hair, lmao.

Ya'll really gonna come in here and tell me you love Harry Potter but you hate Hinny.

You're going to tell me to my face that you love Harry James Potter, a man who has been through so much. Lost his whole entire family., and you're going to deny him his greatest source of comfort.

Are you actually going to tell me that you think ferret face or someone who Harry has described as a sister to him is a better fit for him than someone who makes him happier than he can ever remember being.

He was willing to die happily just thinking about her kissing him. Literally his last dying thought but you're gonna come here and tell me that you hate true love.

Please.

[lillaydee]

Shhh!!! Part 5

Celebrity!Joel Miller / F Reader

A reluctant celebrity contractor who has closed his heart for love meets a celebrity-hating Cafe on Wheels owner...

She HATES him. Thing is, he couldn't get enough of the coffee she makes...

Tag List:

@kirsteng42 @peelieblue @harriedandharassed @joelalorian @vickie5446 @inept-the-magnificent @maried01 @brittmb115 @peedrow @lovefreylove @liciafonseca

Let me know if you would like to be added/removed from the tag list.

Dividers by the awesome @saradika

Header by Moi cause I learned how to use Canva! Yay me!

WARNINGS: Grumpy Joel (The Last of Us), Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Celebrity Joel Miller, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, I'm Bad At Tagging, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change, Hurt Joel (The Last of Us), Jealousy.

SERIES MASTER LIST

Part 4

“Here you go, Sir, enjoy your coffee, come again soon!”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the exasperated sigh that escaped him after the last cup was handed to the last customer, an older man who wouldn’t stop asking him questions about which caulk was best to use for the small project he was DIY-ing. Joel must’ve extended his hand with the coffee in it towards him five times before the man finally took it, very quickly flipping the ‘open’ sign to close before plopping himself on the lone stool you had offered him before.

“How do you do this every day? My jaw, my cheeks are killing me feom smiling too much! And don’t even ask about my back!” he rubbed his face, massaging his jaw and cheeks with both hands, cracking his back and neck a few times.

“Don’t you hammer things for a living? I can’t do that to save my own life!”

“Pfft… I don’t do all that anymore. People do that for me. I just tell people what to do.” There was a look on his face when he said that. A longing one, perhaps?

“You’re telling me you would’ve been okay doing that on your own if I hadn’t stayed?”

You nodded, hands busy cleaning the machine, running hot water out to clean it of any residue.

He got back up, “Can I do anything to help?”

“Oh, no, you are not touching my very expensive machine, sir.”

“How do you keep the truck safe? Aren’t you worried someone might break in, steal the machine?”

“My apartment has very good security, so does the truck. I made sure to invest in that.”

“Where do you live?”

You told him, and he just whistled. He threw the rag on the counter, asking you if he could buy you lunch.

“Taco truck, next door. Tell Tony it’s for me.”

He tipped his hat at you, leaving to get the tacos.

You finished cleaning, wiping everything down, taking not much time at all. You’ve done this daily for a long time, it was all on autopilot. By the time you rinsed all the rags, Joel was back, bags of tacos in hand, asking you if you would join him for lunch. The two of you ate and chatted, mainly about the tacos, but also about the rec centre itself. Sarah had been here a lot, volunteering. Ellie too, obviously. But he had only dropped them off and picked them up. You suggested he should visit. They do amazing work with underprivileged kids. He looked as if he was genuinely contemplating it.

“I have to apologize for something else now,” he told you, wiping his mouth after everything was demolished. “I never knew selling coffee could be that tiring. I don’t know why. But that was…” he stopped talking, rubbing his own shoulder and neck. “And how the heck do you keep a smile on at all times like that? I watched you. You are always smiling when talking to the customers. How do you do that?”

You shrugged, “Been doing this since I can remember. My Dad didn’t have a helper early on, so he would keep me in a sling across his chest as he served his customers. I just grew up in a café, smiled at customers since I could. A smile goes a long way when you’re in service. It was something my Dad did a lot, so I sort of just caught the habit, I guess.”

“Your Dad was a barista too? Which café?”

You told him. He nodded. There were a few of those cafés all over LA. He had even seen them in New York.

“You’ve always worked in cafés?”

“Yeah… since I was old enough to know you shouldn’t touch boiling water with your bare hands.”

He looked taken aback. “Isn’t that child labour or something?”

You laughed. “He didn’t hire me, exactly, he just let me help. Learn the ropes.”

“Is he retired now?”

“He did a few years back. Passed not long after.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. He’s still with me. That’s why my stepmom and I started the truck. He loved his job. I feel like he’s here whenever I make a cup, you know?”

He nodded. “It’s why I started building in the first place. My Papa was a labourer slash carpenter. He practically built all of our furniture. He helped me build my first project – a small recipe box for my Mama. Been building stuff since. I did the TV stuff at first for the steady income, you know? I was alone, I had to think about Sarah, and then when everything blew up it just got so… invasive. Fake. It’s all about the viewership. No one gives a damn about the work anymore. It’s just… I don’t know. Doing this job used to make me feel closer to my Papa, but now… I just feel like my life has turned into a circus, you know? Everything’s just hyped. Sexualized. I don’t get the same rush I used to get from doing this work anymore. I just dread going to work now. The more exposure, the more invasion there will be, the less close I feel to my Papa.”

You listened, feeling a bit sad for him.

“That’s why I was so rude to you that first time. I didn’t mean to be, you know, I’m so sorry about that. It’s just, every time a stranger taps me on my shoulder it’s to ask for a selfie or something. You saw that girl the other day. She just leaned in, right up against my chest and snapped a picture. No respect for my personal space at all. I was literally standing at a urinal once and someone just whipped their phone out to take a picture with me.”

Your eyes literally went round with shock. Seriously? Okay, that was so much worse than being sent to some organic store to buy a packet of sugar for one teaspoon, or even counting 100 drips of espresso, for that matter.

“So when you tapped me on my shoulder…”

You nodded, hand still over your mouth, seeing his point of view. You already knew this, Ellie had told you. But when it came from the horse’s mouth… particularly Joel, who you had only seen as a grumpy, moody, seemingly entitled man, looking extremely uncomfortable at the mere mention of these happenings, you sort of get it.

“God, Joel…” you rubbed your face, cringing a little at how much you had judged him. “I’m sorry too… I just… having lived here all my life, I’ve met all kinds of celebrities, you know? Most are actually nice… but the ones who are not…”

It was his turn to nod. “Tell me about it. I have to work with some sometimes – for special episodes. God… the entitlement!”

You rolled your eyes.

“I know, right? ‘I’m famous, I don’t need to pay.’ Girl…”

He laughed as you sneered, copying said celebrity so well he actually recognized who you were talking about, head thrown back, free, loose, relaxed.

“Hey, I have a question for you,” he said, leaning on the small foldable table you set out front. “Where do you get your beans? That coffee… how is it bitter but sweet at the same time?”

You zipped your mouth, locked it, and threw away the key.

“Oh, come on…”

“Nope. Trade secret, that. Passed down to me by my father, and I am never sharing it!”

“You mean, you roast your own beans?”

“Of course I do! What do you take me for, Joel Miller?”

He looked impressed. ��Will you sell me a bag?”

“Nope.”

“Oh, come on! I’ll pay anything!”

“Careful what you wish for. If I can charge you 40 bucks for a cup of coffee, just imagine what I would charge for a whole bag of beans,” you joked, getting up to throw the paper plate out, wiping the table with your free hand as you did.

He got up and began helping you fold the chairs and tables, loading them in the cargo space under the sill. You closed everything up, handed him the mill he brought, and got into the driver seat of your truck. He waited for you to get in and closed the door for you.

“It was nice spending time with you today, Mr Miller. Thank you for helping me out, and for lunch. Should I pay you now, or should I just give Ellie a raise?”

He smiled, his dimple showing, and shook his head. “I’ll tell you tomorrow, when I come for my cuppa. Since you won’t sell the beans to me.”

You laughed and thanked him again for helping you out that day. You turned to him one last time and gave him a smile. Joel’s heart stopped beating. There was something different about that smile, he thought. It wasn’t the smile you gave your customers.

He took a step back from the truck and raised his free hand, standing in that spot until your truck turned the corner and went out of his sight, the mill he brought held tightly to his chest.

Joel Miller drove all the way home before realizing that he hadn’t stopped smiling at all since you left.

“So, the plan was successful?” Sarah asked, painting her toenail as she spoke into the phone propped on a box she had packed and unpacked for the millionth time.

“Well, he went, left at seven-ish and he hasn’t come back, so I’m just waiting with breath that is bated. God just don’t come back angrier, that’s all I’m hoping for,” Ellie shoved another mouthful of chips into her mouth, cringing a little at the vinegary taste.

“I still can’t believe he yelled at Lil. Of all people! You know Lil hates celebrities? Tony told me. One came to the rec centre once, apparently for some supposed volunteer thing for his community service, the guy made a scene, obviously high from something – climbed into her truck started snacking on coffee beans like nuts – Tony swore Lil chased him out with an airgun. I’m just thankful all she did was overcharge Dad for coffee and not tear his face off or something.”

Ellie snorted, “Imagine how mad Angela would be if that were to happen. Money making face and all...”

“I don’t know… he’s been thinking of quitting. Doesn’t want to continue his contract, apparently.”

Ellie sat up. She took the mug she was using and propped her phone up, looking at her big sister with wide eyes. “What do you mean? How do you know?”

Sarah moved closer to the phone, looked around a bit, as if worried Joel might suddenly burst through her door miles and miles away at any moment. “Don’t tell him this, but Angela called me. Begged me to talk him out of retiring. I mean, she wouldn’t have done that if he hadn’t said something, right?”

Ellie rolled her eyes. She did not like that woman. Neither did Sarah. She had a problem with Ellie from the start. Pulled Sarah aside and tried to stop her from volunteering at the rec centre, not wanting her to mix with the ‘riffraff’ there. Anytime Ellie was within her vicinity before the adoption, she looked at Ellie with a look that said she smelled bad.

When Joel decided to take her in, Angela went all out to stop him. Did a background check on her mom and dad, smugly presenting her findings to Joel. Sarah remembered like it was yesterday. “Bad breeds bad,” she had told him. “She’s the daughter of a drug addict and a criminal, Joel. Bad enough that Sarah is seen with her a lot, God knows what she could pull Sarah into, but now you want to legally invite her to stay with you? She’ll rob you blind Joel! I’m only looking out for you,” she had simpered, a supposedly concerned look on her pulled-too-tight face.

Joel didn’t listen, thankfully. When the public found out, Joel got so much publicity from it, his name was everywhere. He was ‘Daddy’, hot, responsible, good hearted, basically a handy hunk that women couldn’t get out of their heads. Suddenly, adopting Ellie was the most brilliant idea ever. In fact, she might have talked Joel into doing it, at least, that’s what she told Twitter back then. She had always known Ellie was his good luck charm, she crooned to Joel when she came to the house unannounced with a big bag of donated clothing, most of which were far too small and girly for Ellie, pinching her cheeks. Ellie was only 12, but she remembered recoiling away from the obviously fake lady, in both manners and physique, determined to stay away from her as much as she could.

Angela also pitched the idea for a reality show – Meet the Millers, where cameras follow their day to day lives. Imagine the money! That got shut down really quickly, even Tommy was barking at her. He may like the money, but no one touches his nieces. Even he wouldn’t stoop that low, he had told her.

So no, the girls didn’t like Angela. And no, Sarah wasn’t going to talk her Dad into signing on for five more years. Ellie certainly wouldn’t. They wanted him to rest. Relax. Settle down. Be happy. If he wanted to continue working, let it be on his own terms. Something that he would be happy to do, not something he would be forced to do. The girls may think he’s the grumpiest, most stubborn man to ever live, but they were fiercely protective of their Dad. And nothing Angela could do or say would sway them.

“What do you think he would do, if he really does retire?” Ellie asked.

“I don’t know. But I can’t imagine he would want to stay here. Would you be okay if he decides to leave LA?” Sarah was worried, changing school, making new friends, that’s a lot of change.

“I’ll follow him anywhere, you know that.”

Sarah smiled, “Well, I’m…”

“Oh shit!” Ellie scrambled. “He’s back. Fuck! Do I look sick?”

“Erm, no… you look like you’ve had too many chips, but otherwise…”

“Shh… he’s coming in,” Ellie picked up her phone, screen towards her torso, lying on the couch, blanket all the way up to her chest, doing her best to look sick.

“Ellie…” Sarah whispered. Another shush.

“Hey, old man,” Ellie croaked as Joel waltzed in, carrying the mill. He placed it on the coffee table, coming towards Ellie to check her temperature.

“You feeling better kiddo?”

Ellie opened her mouth to answer.

“Great! Rest up! Work tomorrow!” Joel was already turning around to go to his room, whistling as he did, a little jig in his steps. He looked at her over his shoulder and winked at her, his whistling now morphed into a humming, continuing his little waltz as he went up to his room, closing the door behind him.

Ellie shot up, her phone still clutched to her chest.

“Ellie! What’s going on?” Sarah’s whispers were filled with urgency.

Ellie looked at her sister, looking perplexed. “Sarah, I think we need a doctor.”

“What? Why? Is he okay? Are you really sick?”

“He was… whistling… and Sarah…” she paused, looking worried as heck, she leaned in and whispered, “He sorta did a little jig... and I swear he was humming!”

Sarah didn’t say anything. She looked troubled. Her Dad, humming? And doing little dances?

Shit.

What the fuck happened?

The next morning, Ellie woke up to a very enthusiastic banging on her door. Wake up kiddo! Don’t wanna be late! She groaned, jumped out of bed and had a quick shower – all about 30 minutes too early compared to the usual time, but maybe Joel had somewhere to be? It wouldn’t be the first time. His schedule can vary a lot, but wasn’t he on a break?

She walked out to Joel shoving a packet of pop tart and a granola bar into her pack, a buttered toast into her hand, telling her she was late. Let’s go!

She walked out into the garage to him standing next to an open passenger door, frantically gesturing for her to get inside, practically shoving her in as she climbed her way up to the seat. He checked the door really quickly before running to the driver side, muttering ‘come on, come on…’ as the garage door slowly opened,

He drove the way he usually did, but his fingers were drumming on the steering wheel every time they hit a red light. The man just looked odd. Ellie was worried.

“You okay?”

Joel looked at her, lips scrunched up, nodding as if he was behaving that way every single day, foot immediately on the gas pedal as soon as the light turned green. When he finally pulled to a stop at the rec centre, he leaned across Ellie and opened the door for her, the teenager still stunned at how keen this man was to be rid of her.

“Will you chill? My class doesn’t start for another 30 minutes. I’m gonna go get iced tea from Lil. You want coffee?”

He went quiet. All jitters stopped. “Uh… sure. Tell her I want the usual. The expresso thing.”

“ESpresso,” she corrected, as she climbed down the truck, mumbling she had no idea how he could drink that every day.

Joel waited for her to disappear around the corner before letting his head fall on the steering wheel. Shit. Now he had to wait for her to come back and go back inside before he could see you again. He looked at his watch, feet tap-tapping on the floor of the cab. God, why was she taking so long?

He took his phone and dialled Sarah’s number, the young lady picking up after only two rings, face all swollen and sleepy still.

“Dad, everything okay?”

“Yeah, just calling to see how the packing is going. You sure you don’t want me to go get you?”

“Yeah… I’m sure. I’m all packed, Dad. Just a few loose things I’m just gonna throw in my backpack at the last min… what are you searching around for?” she asked, her Dad clearly jittery, his eyes looking around as if he was worried some mafia head was gonna pop up and off him.

Joel refocused on his daughter, a bit embarrassed to be caught. “Just waiting for Ellie to come back with my coffee. Need coffee, that’s all. Machine’s busted again.”

“Uhuh… so you just need coffee? And then you’ll go back to your old self?” she questioned, looking wary as heck, side-eyeing her Dad on the FaceTime.

“What are you talking about? I’m my old self.”

“Okay…”

“So, what’s the plan for tomorrow?” he asked her, determined to focus on his daughter now. “I’m excited to see you! We should have a cookout. Maybe go somewhere before you start your internship?”

“Uh… The three of us plan to start driving before dawn, stop for breakfast on the way, drive a few more hours and stop for lunch, get to Lindsey’s, spend the night, and then start again the morning after. Drop Jenna off at her place and I should be home around dinner time.”

“Anything special you want for dinner?”

“Sushi. Please. And that ramen from that place.”

“Okay. You call me before you leave, okay? I don’t care what time. And take turns driving. Don’t try to be a hero.”

“Yes Dad… I know… How are you enjoying your break so far?”

“Well, it’s only been a few days… I… oh, my coffee’s here. Hang on.”

Sarah watched as he wound his window down, eager hand claiming his coffee from Ellie. He tilted the phone towards Ellie, who took the phone out of his hand, saying hi to Sarah. “Watch,” she whispered to Sarah, clicking on the reverse camera feature, focusing on Joel as he took his first greedy sip, taking a deep breath, closing his eyes, tilting his head back to rest it on the headrest, an unwitting smile on his face.

Sarah watched as her Dad smiled, looking all… something… she didn’t recognize this. She had never seen him like this. And the whistling and the jigging and now this… over a sip of coffee. No wonder Ellie was worried. She was too, now that she’s seen the evidence.

Joel was struck by the silence, he opened his eyes, looking questionably at Ellie, who quickly clicked on the reverse camera button again, “Sarah, can you hear me? I think your line is patchy. I can’t hear you… you’ve frozen… I’ll call you later okay?” She quickly hung up and gave Joel the phone. “I’ll call her back…” she mumbled, standing there, just waiting to see what he was going to do. Joel looked flustered for a bit, reaching out to give her head a rub before putting the truck into reverse and driving away.

Ellie took out her phone and dialled Sarah’s number. She picked up before the first ring was over.

“You saw that, right?”

Joel drove around the rec centre before turning back into the parking lot, relieved Ellie was no longer there. He glanced at his watch again, the tap-tapping was back. He class wouldn’t start for ten more minutes. He looked around the truck for something to do until then, just to be safe. He didn’t want Ellie asking too many questions.

He had no idea what was happening. He just knew he wanted to be here. He took another sip of the coffee, his insides warming up, that smile back on his face. This must be why he wanted to come here. Yesterday, he was standing for hours, his back hurt, but he just felt at peace. Must be the smell of coffee. It calmed him down. He took another sip, savouring the somehow still sweet bitterness that took over his senses.

When was the last time he felt this at ease? God, he couldn’t remember. Maybe… when he was a kid? When he was sick and his Mama and Papa slept on either side of him? He felt as if he was all bundled up in a protective blanket, like everything would be alright, he would be alright, whatever came. He just wanted to savour that feeling for as long as he could, before life came after him again.

And if being at that truck, breathing in the glorious smell of coffee was what it took, he was more than willing to go back and suffer through the back pain and aching cheeks once more.

He finally got out of his truck, locked it and walked towards your truck. He could already see you smiling at your long line of customers, joking around with them. He took yet another sip of his coffee, jogged a little towards you, climbing into your truck, absent-mindedly taking the spare apron hanging on the hook and put it on, placing the hat he brought with him on his head. You lectured him about taking it off the day before, so yeah, he was keeping it on today.

You were shocked he was there, to say the least, but you were busy, and he did behave himself the day before. So you moved out from behind the till and took your spot in front of the machine, ready to make the next order.

You had no idea how, but the two of you worked well together. The truck was small, but somehow it wasn’t cramped with both of you in it. He learnt that till quickly, only making a few mistakes the day before, and you quickly fixed them, and he never repeated the same mistake twice.

About half an hour later, the line slowed. He went outside after the last person took their drink and began clearing up the tables for you. You leaned on the window, watching him sing along to the tunes Tony had on, shaking your head a little, wondering why on earth this man had decided to return and torture himself again.

“So… not that I’m not appreciative,” you called out to him, “But what the heck are you doing here Miller?”

He tossed the empty cups in the trash, a wide smile directed at you as he walked back towards the truck, tossing the rag he was holding on the sill, resting his elbow on it. “You don’t mind, do you? I have nothing to do. I’m bored. Sarah won’t be here for two more days, Ellie’s out for the class, have a heart…” he pleaded.

You jokingly contemplated his plea. “Do I have to pay you?”

“Just that cup of coffee.”

“Deal.”

The two of you shook on it. A customer came to the sill, asking for an iced tea. He ran back up into the truck, keying it in, and asked if he could watch you make the tea, maybe he could help with the non-machine-touching drinks? You let him, telling him exactly how much tea to put, how much hot water, brewing time, the likes.

Joel listened, taking everything in. The amount of tea. The hot water. The brewing time. The way your lips moved. The way your dimples played peekaboo. The way your ponytail swayed as you moved. The way the neckline of your blouse today gave him little peeks of your skin.

When the tea was ready, you turned around to give it to the customer, asking her how the baby was. You chatted with her for a bit, leaning on the counter below the window. Joel couldn't help continue studying you... how your legs were crossed together at the ankle, how your ass…

Wait… stop it.

Joel picked up a rag and wiped the counter you had just wiped again, just to have something else to do that didn’t involve staring at your ass, perfectly jutting out for his viewing pleasure, swaying a little as you laughed with your regular, clad in the perfect pair of jeans that hugged your curves just right.

You turned around to face him, took the rags off the counters and his hands, and went to the small sink you had to wash them. He stood next to you, watching you wash them, earning him a light-hearted jab from you – what, you want to learn the art of washing rags too? He laughed, telling you that he might just. Maybe coffee truck rags had a different method of cleaning.

“Joel?”

The two of you turned around. Ellie was standing in the doorway of the truck, looking at Joel as if he had two heads. “What are you doing here?”

Joel stood up straight, his hand went straight for his cup of coffee, now empty, and took a sip of air. He flustered a bit.

“I think the question is, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in class?” he blubbered, a hand on his hip, the other awkwardly on the counter.

“Frank has car trouble. Class is postponed. I thought I’d work ‘til you pick me up. I thought you had something to do?”

“Erm… my thing got cancelled,” he managed to say.

“Oh, so maybe we can go watch a movie or something? You’re okay if I don’t work today, right Lil?”

You nodded. You understood. Ellie had always told you Joel was a busy man. He really should be spending time with her when he could.

“Uh… yeah, sure,” Joel said, trying hard to hide his disappointment from his youngest daughter. He began to untie his apron, missing Ellie’s widened eyes upon noticing that he had it on.

“Hey Lil?” Tony called out, walking up to the window. “My cousin just called me for some food for his office, he also ordered coffee, do you mind? Pickup in 30 minutes,” he said, forwarding you a list of orders on your phone.

Joel retied his apron, pushing Ellie out of the truck, telling her to wait for him at the tables. Maybe practice drawing the truck. He’ll be right with her.

Ellie sat waiting with her phone in her hand, filming her grumpy adopted father who hated fancy, thieving coffee chains help you with the order, keying in the order, labelling the cups, readying the to-go bags, he even filled in a smaller bag with sugar and creamer packets, complete with those fiddly stirrers he made fun of at least a thousand times in the few years she had been living with him.

When he was finally done, Ellie watched as Joel Miller took off the apron, telling you he would see you the next day, before turning around to walk away with a nervous look on his face, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. He turned back to face you as he took out his phone and sheepishly asked for your number, “So I could text you if I can’t make it,” he said. He waited patiently as you keyed in your number, and immediately texted you something, smiling widely as he heard your phone ping.

Ah… Ellie immediately texted Sarah.

‘I think your Dad has a crush on my boss.’

To say you were in a jam was an understatement. Your showerhead decided that today, of all days, was the perfect day to shoot out of its socket and spray water everywhere. The super was out of town. You called your plumber, but he said the earliest he could get there was after lunch. He was booked solid. Relax, he told you, you’ll be fine ‘til then.

You texted Ellie, telling her that your shower broke and you wouldn’t be working today. Please let Joel know. You were about to toss the phone on your bed when the phone immediately pinged.

‘Send me your location’

‘Why?’

‘We have a plumber, he can get to you now.’

Your fingers had never worked faster. You sent her the location and your apartment number, going back into the bathroom to empty the bucket you’d placed under the shower. The last thing you needed was a flooded bathroom.

You were disappointed. You had never wanted to go to work more than you did today. You didn’t know why exactly. Your heart just felt… heavy. You felt guilty… or something… for not being able to go in today. You wondered why.

Ah… Joel texted you last night asking if there was a chance you would teach him to brew a good cup of coffee, just so he could have one daily when summer was over and Ellie no longer needed to go to the art class. He won’t even touch the machine, he promised. Just teach him how.

You promised him you would, and now you had to break that promise. You just hated disappointing people, that’s all.

Yeah. That must be it. That’s why you were disappointed you couldn’t go in.

The doorbell rang, so you placed the bucket back in its place and ran to open the door.

Joel Miller was standing outside your door, a toolbox in his hands. His face lit up when he saw you, but then suddenly snapped shut awkwardly, turning his body around.

It was only then you realized you were standing in front of him in your sleep shirt.

Your white sleep shirt. Your wet, white, sleep shirt.

With nothing underneath but a pair of panties. Your nipples were sticking to your wet shirt, which was now basically see through.

You ran inside, yelling your apologies, telling him to come in, grabbing a bathrobe and putting it on, trying hard to laugh your embarrassment away. He didn’t answer, and when you went to the door, his tool box was there, but he wasn’t. The riot that was your spraying shower went quiet, and he came back after a few seconds, telling you he shut the water line for your house – easier for him to work, he said.

There was still water dripping from the shower, but he fixed it within 15 minutes, coming out of your bathroom with water trickling down from his hair onto his neck, coming down his chest. He went back outside and came back to test the shower, now working perfectly.

You asked him how much you owed him, telling him he didn’t need to come all the way over to your apartment.

He smiled and told you his payment was a cup of coffee, as he had told you the day before. He watched as you made him a cup, jokingly asking you if he had to buy a fancy coffee machine now?

For some reason, apart from those few sentences, the two of you didn’t really talk. There was a silence as you both had your coffees, both awkward and not awkward at the same time. He wouldn’t really look at you, and you found yourself unable to look at him much either.

“Would you like some breakfast?” you asked him, taking his cup from him, your fingers brushing his for a split second, a spark of static causing you to pull back quickly, the mug slipping from your grasp, crashing onto the floor. He bent down to collect the pieces while you got a broom, sweeping the remnants off the floor, telling him you’ll vacuum later. He picked up his tool box, hesitantly telling you he should be going, looking regretful.

For some reason, you found yourself feeling sorry he had to leave so soon. But you walked him to the door anyway. He turned around once he was outside, thanking you for the coffee, asking you if he could see you the next day? Sarah was coming back, so he won’t be coming for a while, wanting to spend time with her before she started her internship the next week.

“Of course,” you told him, “Thank you so much for helping me out, you really didn’t have to.”

“It’s no trouble, really,” he insisted, “The coffee was worth it.”

You didn’t know what came over you, but you leaned in and lightly kissed him on the cheek, whispering your thanks to him one more time, unable to help yourself from taking in his scent, making you feel lightheaded. He didn’t pull away, staying where he was when you pulled away. He looked you in the eyes, contemplation in them. You may have imagined it, but you thought you saw them flick towards your lips for a split second.

“Joel? Joel Miller?”

The two of you turned to see the source of the snappy voice. Your young neighbour Lucy, formerly known as the off-key alarm system to your building was standing there, obviously on her way out, her keys clutched in her hand. She eyed your bathrobe, your wet hair, his slightly wet appearance.

“Lucy,” he said, rather awkwardly.

She turned around and went back inside, slamming the door behind her.

“I should be going,” he said once more, before turning around and walking away as fast as he could.

Okay that was weird, you thought, but it was none of your business, surely? You had an anvil in your chest, but you didn’t know why. You distracted yourself by vacuuming your small kitchen, getting rid of any remnants of that broken mug.

You didn’t understand what happened. What happened? Between you and Joel. Between him and Lucy.

The doorbell interrupted your thoughts. You opened the door to Lucy standing outside.

“Are you fucking Joel Miller?”

Huh?

“If you are, we need to talk,” she said, pushing you aside and walking into your apartment, aggressively turning around to face you, her arms across her chest, a serious look on her face.

Part 6

[sugar-grigri]

Do you think we’ll at least see Asa’s perspective or thoughts on what Yoru has done to Denji? Especially with Yoru’s last statement in chapter 192? It just feels to jarring to see Yoru without any interference or anger from Asa. I’m sure that Asa likes Denji, but I don’t think she would want to pursue Denji like that. I think that logically Asa would want to scare Denji away. Isn’t Yoru’s deal finished? Yoru said she wanted to beat Chainsawman, she technically DID, so by logic Asa should get her body back, no?

I!!!!!! Don’t!!!!!! KNOW!!!!!!!!!!! 😢😢

I've got one side optimistic and the other very pessimistic on this point.

By the way, my recent theory on Asa may be disillusionment, as I refuse to accept what Fujimoto has done with his character.

So here are two answers:

If I'm being pessimistic, even though I'm hoping for more of Asa's POV, I don't think we'll get it.

Fujimoto had a very weird writing style, after the chapter where Yoru masturbates Denji (it's very crude said like that but hey), Asa's only reaction is to be afraid that Denji thinks she's an easy girl

And I admit I was like: HUH ????

What kind of reaction is this?

Either 1) Fujimoto is very based, and shows that Asa whether by her possession by Yoru - her age is unaware of her aggression. That she is once again more focused on her image than on protecting herself.

2) Either Fujimoto considers that he hasn't written an assault scene. I hope this isn't the case, otherwise a lot of CSM's narratives would fall apart, but I think we can get this impression precisely from Asa's lack of reaction/anger/disgust at everything Yoru has done.

Honestly, it all depends on the next chapters, so I can't say for sure.

If I'm being optimistic, maybe we'll get that reaction, but it doesn't really resemble Fujimoto's writing style, which likes scenes to stand on their own.

On the other hand, Asa's future development and actions can deepen his feelings and help us understand her point of view.

The absence of Asa is so glaring that I'm surprised it's a flaw in CSM and not something the reader focuses on.

As for your last two questions, I have to admit that we're in total limbo.

For me, Asa probably doesn't want to haggle over her first time for obvious reasons, but if we're very pessimistic, we could say that she shares Yoru's feelings on this point.

But if I'm being optimistic, I have a more precise reading Yoru wants to sleep with Denji IF he accomplishes her new objective, and since Asa doesn't share this objective, mathematically, she doesn't want to sleep with Denji like that.

As for Yoru's aim of defeating CSM, technically she didn't, and I have to admit that the previous arc is completely muddled on this subject: to the point where I didn't even understand why Yoru was fighting him any more.

In any case, she couldn't completely annihilate him because the devil of aging intervened.

But it's messy again, for example how do we explain that Yoru now has the goal of going after his big sister? The devil of death?

The only explanation is: the law of the strongest

Yoru has gained the upper hand over CSM, and his feelings for him, as well as his superiority in terms of power, allow him to consider turning him into a weapon.

He's a potential weapon, not an enemy

Yoru is the war devil, she needs opposition and fighting, so her next enemy is the death devil.

And when you think about it, I think that's exactly how Fami thought, which is why she insisted that Yoru had to beat the black CSM

1) for Yoru to change her objective on her own (no need to manipulate her)

2) Fami had prepared the ground with the fire demon to give her the means to have this power.

In short, nothing but grey areas! Let's hope Fujimoto doesn't go down a disappointing road!

[234moon]

I’ll admit a thing. Prior to Haikavetham I thought that Hoyoverse wasn’t interested in developing MLM ships too much. I was okay with that too because yuri gets less attention anyway and HYV was obsessively focused on it. But there was always that fear in me that their obsession with WLW ships was likely somewhat inspired by fetishisation.

But then Haikavetham came along and shattered that assumption for me. I thought no other MLM HYV ship could possibly come close to it but Phaidei is actually insane. You can see that this company, with their limitations even because of censorship, is trying pretty hard to make a good MLM ship that fans can decipher easily.

3.1 spoilers up ahead. And this post is absolutely an excuse to collate “evidence” for how gay Phaidei is

1. Phainon and Mydei being parallels to Kephale and Nikador (respectively), and also possibly being inheritors to their coreflame (Phainon left but it’s almost confirmed). Where Nikador allegedly fell in love with Kephale, who is their rival and fought them. A very direct parallel to Phaidei

2. But it’s less about their parallels and more about what they do at present in the story. The most conspicuous incident of this is the last part of 3.1’s quest, where they’re parting. Firstly, Phainon is the last person Mydei met. He was the last farewell Mydei wanted to give before he left. Secondly, when they do talk, Phainon asks this

To which Mydei first replies that the Kremnoan philosophy can never be encapsulated in a dictionary. And then he says this

Don’t tell me this doesn’t read like Phainon worried that the word for romance really doesn’t exist in the Kremnoan language but hoping that it does. Because language makes culture. And as a Kremnoan, that should mean, at least in theory, that Mydei is not fully capable of romance. But this reads like Phainon knowing they have feelings for each other, and teasing Mydei about it. Like “hey I know you say romance doesn’t exist in the Kremnoan language but you definitely like me so you’re probably lying”. Because why would this be one of his parting sentences? It’s too irrelevant at the moment.

Add to this what Mydei says in the end. Don’t tell me this doesn’t read like the most classic doomed gay ship trope! Because it is!! It is!!!!

(Also I don’t know how many people noticed this but when Mydei says the last sentence, his tone is uncharacteristically soft)

3. This GIF.

I can’t stop thinking about it. Phainon knows Mydei has his back (and vice versa because… lol). Phainon feels absolute relief knowing Mydei is with him, and they will fight together. Phainon trusts him, and Mydei trusts Phainon even more.

There is also this scene.

Since my post is getting long I’ll recommend reading a small breakdown of it here (much better explained than I could). They have each other’s backs, and they trust each other with everything. Also the way Mydei says “found you”. I cried.

4. Including their lives!

What an insane scene man. Reveal your proverbial Achilles heel to one man and one man only, who coincidentally happens to be the man who you trust watching your back.

5. They help each other get better. Not much explanation needed but Phainon and Mydei understand each other deeply, and they understand the other’s desires and even masked feelings. Phainon helped Mydei make that final decision that he needed to change the lives of Kremnoans and be a better king (by recommending he go to Chartonus, to whom Phainon had relayed details about Gorgo’s signet ring)

And Mydei helps Phainon with this

There is, of course, a lot more “evidence”. The smallest of expressions (like damn Mydei smiles a lot around Phainon lol) to it being heavily implied their comfort zone is each other. My point, though, is that I’m very impressed by a Chinese company willingly making so much implied gay content despite censorship restricting them. Phaidei has become another one of those iconic HYV ships for me at least.

Btw, if you see this post, please don’t add “but they could be friends-“ I’m aware and it’s a redundant argument. There is a very thin line separating platonic and romantic love. Yes this could be an example of a beautifully higher level of platonic love. But I choose to read this as romantic because I trust in a game company known for making heavily implied gay couples to have made another one.

And please do not treat this as discourse despite how I started it!! This is about Phaidei and I wanted to give a background about why I think they’re pretty gay

[masterwords]

Hello ❤️ If you have time I would love a blurb about Hotch and Morgan cuddles and feeling secure together it's my current brain rot thought.

Oh, yes. I do! I'm a sucker for the soft. I started things for this a number of times but all of them got so convoluted and long and away from the point of the cuddle - this one might have too, but the vibe feels right. I haven't posted a fic directly to tumblr in a while but I will do it now. I hope you like it! I wrote this in thirty minutes so if it feels fast and loose...it is. hahahaa

Words: 1.6k (that's not a blurb but I frequently fail at blurbs)

------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's nearly 1 am, and Hotch can't remember the last time he saw a Walmart at this time of night. He's avoided the store like the plague during regular waking hours, it's too bright and too loud, he can't focus. But when it's the only place open in a ten mile radius and he needs to get the snacks for Jack's preschool class on his way home from work…it's what he's got to work with.

That, or he could go to the gas station at the end of his block and spend a fortune on single serving nightmare food and be ostracized from snack parent duties entirely. The idea is enticing.

He buys a bag of tiny oranges and a bag of pretzels, bland and simple, exactly what he would want if he were a preschooler who wanted to eat quickly and get back to finger painting or playing outside. With his arms full of snacks, he makes his way toward the front of the store to checkout, catching only minor notes from the songs wafting through the store.

It's quiet in here. There are a couple of employees gathered around the one open cash register at the front and a few placed throughout the store restocking shelves. He's not the only shopper inside but he never ran into anyone else. It was almost serene and as he waits for the cashier to count back his change, he thinks this might be the best time to shop. He might have to do it more often.

It's the first time since Haley died that being in a grocery store hasn't resulted in a major meltdown on either he or Jack's part. Jack is sleeping, Jessica is staying over, and he's got all the time in the world to listen to the quiet.

He's always been partial to quiet, but it's been especially important to him in the years since the explosion in New York. Loud noises still hurt though he's gotten fairly good at concealing that fact, his carefully practiced neutral features don't give anything away anymore. He shivers when the cold hits him and with his one free hand, he reaches for the zipper on his jacket and pulls it up to his chin, stopping the worst of the wind from whipping against the exposed skin of his neck.

His car is one of about ten in the parking lot, the huge lot that takes up a full city block. It's almost post-apocalyptic, the way the streetlamps dot the asphalt, one of them flickers wildly above an employee in a blue vest trying desperately to keep his cigarette lit in the wind.

He sits in his car and waits while it warms up, rubbing his hands together like he's sitting in front of a fire. His circulation has always been bad, but since Foyet's attack it's been almost nonexistent. His hands are always cold, fingers stiff and painful. He'd gone to the doctor convinced they were going to tell him he had arthritis, that he was going to lose his ability to shoot his gun sooner rather than later, but all they said was that his circulation was terrible and gave him some exercises to do that would help increase blood flow temporarily. The pain and numbness would be persistent, they said, but do those exercises and you'll alleviate some of it.

The exercises make him feel silly. Jack sometimes copies them without knowing what he's doing - he'll be standing at the sink working his way through dishes and stop to do them because he's afraid he'll drop a glass and make a big mess in front of his son, and when he looks over Jack is playing with his legos and doing the same thing with his hands. Jack copies him a lot and that scares him, he's watching everything he does and says so carefully he's giving himself stomach aches making sure that Jack doesn't take on his worst traits.

"Hello?" he says, answering his phone. He knows who it is without looking.

"You ever coming home?" Derek asks impatiently and Hotch can hear the echo of his own hallway. Derek is waiting outside of his apartment. Derek calls his apartment home. He's still not quite over that revelation, but he hasn't made a big deal out of it.

"Had to stop at Walmart, I'm on snack duty for Jack's school tomorrow morning."

"You do realize we have to be up in less than six hours…"

"I'm on my way. Five minutes."

"The clock starts now."

Hotch throws his car into drive and heads toward the driveway a little faster than he should but there's something so freeing about speeding through an empty parking lot. It reminds him of learning to drive with his uncle because his father was rotting in a bed being eaten alive by cancer by the time he was old enough to get behind a wheel. His uncle was always a bit of a wildcard, not unlike Sean, and encouraged Hotch to put the pedal to the metal when he first started out. "It'll take away all the mystery of what it feels like to really go fast," he'd said and Hotch thought it did work, sort of, but once the mystery was gone he was simply left with the overwhelming love for it. He'd always loved to drive fast, to feel the speed in the wheels beneath him. To float dangerous corners. It's come in handy during high-speed chases on plenty of occasions.

He obeys the speed limit going home, though. Doesn't blow any stop signs or red lights. His little bag of groceries stays firmly in place on the passenger seat and he's putting his car in park at the six minute mark. He could have made it in three if he wasn't being so good about rules.

"You're late," Derek says, leaning against the wall beside his door. Hotch stops beside him, a little too close, and waits patiently for the kiss. Derek always kisses him first. Not because he has to, but because he likes to. He's competitive to a fault. The kiss happens quick, Derek smiling against Hotch's lips while Hotch unlocks the door to his apartment.

Everything is dark, only one small lamp left on to light their way through the living room to the kitchen. Doesn't matter, they know it all by feel alone. Hotch still won't step where Foyet attacked him, he walks around it like a kid skipping the cracks in the sidewalk, and Derek doesn't say a word. He never walked down the sidewalk that his father was killed on again, wouldn't even consider it. He gets it. Some places just hold onto a feeling that you don't want any part of.

They stop in the kitchen and in the dark, they hold each other for a moment. They lean heavily against one another, chest to chest, faces buried in necks, releasing the day. Derek had been hours away doing an in-service with Reid while Hotch worked in DC with Strauss. They hadn't seen each other all day, and this one moment in the darkened kitchen was all it took to make it all melt away. Hotch clung to Derek's waist, numb tingling fingers still not recovered from the night chill digging into the stiff leather of Derek's jacket.

Neither of them spoke. They could say things like I love you or I missed you but that was so heavily implied in the way they just stood there that it would have felt almost wrong to say it. From there they moved in unison toward Hotch's bedroom, undressing quickly, Derek pulling pajamas from the drawer Hotch set aside for him in his own dresser. At his house, he slept naked, but Jack had a tendency to creep into their bed in the darkest hours of the night and he'd only had to be startled awake by that terror once before he learned to deal with the discomfort in sleeping with clothes on. Hotch had offered just to take Jack back to his own bed, but Derek kind of liked when the kid came in, he liked the sound of his tiny snores and the way he curled up in a tiny ball between them like they were the safest place in the world.

But before Jack made his way in, it was Hotch that curled up against him. Derek runs hot and Hotch can't resist absorbing as much of that heat as he can. He slides beneath the blankets and pushes himself flat against Derek's side, burying his icy fingers in the warmth of Derek who always made a surprised noise so involuntarily at the intrusion. He knew it was coming but there was no way to prepare for it. Hotch sleeps in socks, much to Derek's chagrin, but at least that means his cold feet won't be a problem. Just those hands.

Hotch can't remember how or when this really started, and he can't remember ever having any real conversations about what they were or where it was going, no five year plans or relationship goals, it was just safety. It was just love. It didn't need a name or future plans, it didn't need any constraints at all. It was simply something, a beacon in a storm, a lighthouse burning bright. The knowledge that this something was always waiting at the end of a long day, no explanation necessary, had gotten them both through more hard days than either of them could ever articulate.

Whatever it was, whatever anyone might call it, didn't matter. It was simply the feeling of home in another person, and that was all either of them dared to dream of.

[seaofreverie]

One year ago I made this lil comic about being aromantic, based on the lyrics of Eaten By The Monster Of Love! I meant to post it on the anniversary of me making it but I missed the day, oops... so today felt like a fitting alternative :3

Happy Valentine's Day!! Whether you were eaten by the monster of love or not, I hope you have a fun day today!

[willowfey]

starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal

[jellyfrog]

new simblr !

hi friends, i'm ara! some of you might remember me as @fishtrait, but it's been a long time since i was on that account, so i wanted to get a fresh start :^) i've taken a massive hiatus from simblr but i'm itching to come back and hopefully actually talk to people and make friends this time around !

pls like/reblog this post if you're a maxis match/mix simblr, i'd love to follow and interact with you guys !! <3

[dadbots]

August… time to get spooky.