#it feels good to have it filled :)
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the joy of creation :3 !! (anything worth doing is worth doing badly)
#mine#cats#original#i have not been feeling very joy of creation but alas. i must create#it is my calling and also my job#i hope everyone has a good week ! :3 be filled w joy and whimsy etc
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who is your favorite AA character? 👁️👁️
ziska… I hope capcom brings her back someday
#shes cool as fuck to me bc when I first played jfa I found her really frustrating to deal with#not just as Phoenix but I mean like on a personal level she is challenging because she’s so thorough#and yet I also find it fascinating that she breaks the character she’s built for herself once in a while#i 100% believe that I don’t think she would have caught on to what Phoenix was trying to do while stalling for time with engardes trial#so it’s probably a good thing edgeworth subbed in but she literally busts her ass to bring evidence to court#almost right after having a bullet extracted from her WHICH SHE ALSO PRESENTS AS EVIDENCE. thats metal as fuck ok#especially since she would technically have nothing to do with the case after edgeworth fills in and she still decided to do that anyway#maybe it was blind faith to use that evidence to win since she wasn’t there for most of the trial but still#and even if canon doesn’t give it to me I still firmly believe there’s be at least some chemistry between her and Maya#like especially if you hold it next to wrightworth that works bc there’s already a history there and majority of Phoenix and miles trying#to relearn their relationship is Phoenix coaxing out that side of Miles that he remembers from fourth grade#but with Franmaya it’s something new and they’re basically strangers to each other and one of them almost got the other convicted#and I still think that’s fascinating and it’s a damn shame thay half of the fics I find for them on ao3 is background in wrightworth fic#i did find a good one that touched on Franziska trying to win pearls approval because Pearl does hold a grudge against her#and seeing that trying to live up to perfecting even her personal relationships without getting to know Pearl to even know#why it wasn’t working feels believable when I think abt her as a character yk#myart#my art#doodles#aa#ace attorney#franziska von karma
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rook falling asleep on the red couch in the lighthouse dining room while lucanis is making dinner....... they were helping out by keeping him company and peeling and chopping potatoes for a while there but then the potatoes are done and the room is so safe and warm and smells like coffee and good food and lucanis is trying to explain something to spite and his voice is low and soft and good to listen to and rook's eyes only slip closed for a moment. they'll get up to save the world again or whatever in a second just. one moment. while the world is warm and kind. and then they're being shaken gently awake an hour later because it's time to eat and everyone's starting to drift hopefully dinner-wards
#lucanis looking down at peacefully sleeping rook like '...I *have* to figure out more things I can do for them than kill or die#because that's a bit limited long-term and one of those will probably mostly make them really upset. (also you only get to do it once.#just not good value for the price as gestures of love go.)#but maker I WILL also do that' as he drapes a blanket over them. and maybe strokes their hair. don't look at me#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#do you guys ever yearn. are you filled with unspeakable longing. are you ever brought to your knees humbled and wrecked#before the altar of the mortifying simplicity and lack of grandeur of your own impossible desires. anyway#at one point rye is going to tell this man in a sort of bewilderment of joy and relief 'you make me feel so safe'#and he'll have to go 'you may be surprised to hear that that is not a sentiment a man in my profession gets to hear a lot usually'#'well get used to hearing it (bitch)(infinitely affectionate)'#and then they hug or something idk don't speak to me do not look at me
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"He realized she could indeed be catlike. She could be as suspicious of others as a stray cat, but when there was food to be had she would come just close enough to get it, take as much as she could, and then she would be gone again."
if Jinshi just keeps "pspsps"ing enough surely it'll pay off???
#the apothecary diaries#jinshi#maomao#jinmao#gaoshun#kusuriya no hitorigoto'#my art#jinshi is such a simp and i'm honestly living for it#just finished book 2 and trying to decide if i want to jump right into book 3 or return to the disabled tyrant again first...#how does book 3 of apothecary diaries compare to 2? i found 2 a little underwhelming... not bad but not as good as the first#felt a little stagnant at times#does 3 pick up at all? or are we treading water?#anyway jinshi and maomao have an unparalleled dynamic and my heart feels for gaoshun who has a front row seat to it all#every time it describes him hitting his head against a wall or something fills my heart with joy#this poor man
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buffy knows spike loves her during season five. buffy knows spike loves her when she comes back and seeks comfort/silence in his presence. and as she comes back to herself and tries to make peace with the fact that she’s Here Again, she still knows he loves her. and i think part of the Big Bad Grabbing The Slayer For The Darkness routine they both cling to is that it allows them to pretend this huge thing isn’t between them so they can get what they both want (someone to stay).
and like obviously buffy cannot allow herself to believe that he loves her for many reasons, but she DOES believe it, she can’t make herself unknow it even though she tries so hard. which is partially where the breakdown with tara in 6.13 comes from because the cognitive dissonance of soulless spike loving her as if he has a soul while she is so lost within herself that the only way she can reach for him is to use him (which would be fine if he was the big bad grabbing the slayer for the darkness) which is hurting him! unfathomably! but he’s supposed to be the corruption! how can he??? any of it???
meanwhile spike has watched the woman he loves be brought back as a shell and he wants to see the light in her eyes and he can touch her now and sometimes that’s enough to make her laugh but he can’t linger in those moments or she’ll go away again! so he can play the role he needs to play so she’ll stay, as if he could keep her anywhere she didn’t want to be. as if he wants her to be in the dark instead of bringing him into the light. but how could he ask for anything more when he already got her back and he didn’t even need to kill her afterwards.
and so they hurt each other and he forgets himself and asks her if she even likes him and it’s too honest and he’s asking too much (he asks for nothing) so before she can throw her life away like it’s nothing, he puts the game face on, makes himself a target, and swallows it all. and she can’t unknow. and it would all be fine except he’s a vampire and she’s the slayer and how can he just say it like it’s nothing when she needs to beat his face in just to keep from screaming.
#there’s so much with the scoobies and dawn having expectations of her that she constantly disappoints#because at least she then has something she thinks she must strive for she has clear lines to fill out#even if she knows she won’t do it successfully#spike takes her as she is and wants to love her as she is and wants her to love herself as she is#and that is unacceptable because there’s too much freedom in that and she’s so tired and so hungry and she thinks she came back wrong#if he can love her (a monster) then he must also be a monster#because if he loves her like a man loves a woman then this is It and she has to figure out how to live with#her own actions and the way she feels#it’s sooooooooooo tragic#like he looks at her and sees the sun and doesn’t want her in the dark!!!! but she’s so cold!!!!!!!!! she doesn’t want to hear that she can#still generate her own heat she just wants to feel the fire#and he can play.#he can pretend.#because he thought he was going to live forever without her.#sorry that episode is just literally fucking crazy buffy summers i love you#btvs#this is not a good post i’m not saying anything. 6.13 is just a crazy episode
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the guardian // the searcher
(x)
#had a thought when i saw this the other day#needed to get this out of me before work without my computer tomorrow too#feels good having a canon angst filled ship#agathario#agatha all along#agatha harkness#rio vidal#agatha x rio#lady death
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for anyone who has ever seen someone claim pansexual was coined on social media by teenagers in the early 2000s, the 2010s, and even in the past few years, and believed it or wondered if it’s true, or known it’s not true and been annoyed by the misinformation, this article is for you!
after listing out all of the claims i’ve seen, i succinctly debunk them by laying out a brief overview of pansexual’s history dating back to the 1960s, both as a term generally indicating universal appeal/inclusion and a term indicating sexual freedom/attraction to all genders. i include a look at pansexual’s use specifically within queer spaces, with a focus on bisexual spaces, as well.
i also touch briefly on omnisexual and polysexual existing in similar contexts to pansexual dating back to the 1960s. and finally, i discuss a little bit about how when, where, and by whom a label is created doesn’t determine the validity or usefulness of it, because these claims come with the implication that new labels, labels created by kids, and labels originating on social media aren’t legit forms of queer expression and identification.
happy pan week! 🥰💗💛💙
#pansexual#pansexuality#pan pride#pan positivity#pan week#medium#text#mine#and as always please remember that queer people have always played with language#and tweaked it until it worked for us and utilized what we felt seen by#and filled in the gaps with our own creations where we didn’t feel understood and left the rest#queer people expressing themselves in a way that feels authentic to them is always a good thing#truly don’t understand why the when where and by whom a label was created would matter more than someone feeling seen by a label#because while we’re talking about new labels made by kids online with regard to pansexual#so much of queer language has been reclaimed or repurposed from completely different (and often bigoted) origins#and people barely even acknowledge it. but suddenly the origin is crucial when it’s a label folks have a vendetta against#and listen. learning history is fun and important but we aren’t beholden to it.#we can have new meanings and uses and completely new words!!! it’s fine!!!! it’s not that serious!!!#maybe one day pansexual will fall completely out of use and people will find a different word to express it or something similar#and that’d be fine. and maybe one day after that someone will come across an old post about pansexuality and decide it speaks to them#and it will all happen again. and that will be fine. language is like that. self-identification is like that.#y’all take all of the fun and joy and excitement out of finding or creating language that perfectly captures how we feel#and then finding a community of people who feel the same way we do#y'all focus so much on the parts that don't matter. find your language find your people that's what matters#not finding something to use against someone else who feels seen by a word you don't feel seen by#anyways. pansexual isn't new. stop spreading lies because you care too much about things that don't matter
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Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems
#sketchbook#scrapbook#Actually I feel like these are kind of incomprehensible in photo form like.. In person holding the book its easy to look at#but as images on this scale I feel like there's so much tiny little text and small scribles and stuff you'd have to 'right click > open#image in new browser tab > zoom in' just to actually really see the thing. which for 7 images is excessive lol.. so. probably not the best#medium for sharing really but. I suppose I thought they might look cooler lined up next to each other. The whole part of using a#limited color palette is so that maybe they kind of seem to have more consistent color schemes or something throughout. but I dont#know if they look all that 'related' or not. I think these types of challenges I have always sucked at because I am a being of clutter and#excess. I can't just do like one little simple nice looking design and have that Crisp Neat calligraphy with evenhanded perfect lines#and perfect symmetical composition and etc. etc. Like some poeple post very aesthetically clean and cohesive looking sketch#pages or something but I simply cannot hold back the brain impulse to add more. more. more. Fill every single blank space with color#or a little drawing or a sticker or something. I take away 500 things and there are still a million there. Even when I thik I'm being#'simplistic' I'm still usually being 2x more complicated and cluttered than the standard or whatever lol. I guess thats clear from my#outfits/costumes though too. Like whatever that saying is from that person about something like 'before you leave the house take off one#more accessory. you dont need it' for me is like.. 'before you leave the house. add 10 more accessories. and 6 more layers. and another'#AAANyway. I wonder if also maybe some people would try to plan theirs in a way to look good or something or like.. plot things on the page#before placing them. I did sometimes have a theme for a day kind of (like day 10 I ended up finding a few gold and green things and then#was like.. hey... what if I looked for a few other things and only used these colors today') but aside from that I was just slapping down#stickers randomly and working around them to fill the page. Maybe a lot of neat minimalistic asthetic design is about planning and#having a Vision set ahead of time. instead of just complete random whatever. doodling whilst watching youtube videos or eating lunch. It's#a miracle actually I've managed to not spill any food on the book the whole time. anyway.. I do wish the highlighter really showed up. the#scanner kind of makes the colors look VERY different to irl. But also it got much clearer images than just camera pictures of pages. alas..#..Still oddly enjoy the phrase 'Salisbury Steak gently kissed with industrial pollutants'#probably my favorite section of 'gluing random papers and things onto the page' lol#Also I wonder if it's super obvious that I literally never ever use references when I draw (save for the few freakish looking youtube#face sketches) since everyone is always in the same positions and looking very similar ghhb. This could have been a good opportunity to#work on not solely drawing from my mind and try to do more Dynamic Experimental scribbles. NO. Same exact eye for the 90th time#be upon ye. But I guess it was meant to be casual 'daily doodles'. True 'practice' would make it seem too effortful like a full project. hm#(lol the one decimated pencil in the set... never hand me a writing utensil. i will passively destroy it somehow. shaving the sides of a#pencil off with a knife or snapping a pen in half as a nervous fidget without even realizing i've done it. sorry to the drawing implements)
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atwow hot take:
if jake had said his "son for a son" shit out loud and spider had heard him, he would have been so beyond pissed, he would be seeing red.
spider loved his little siblings so much, neteyam included, even after they grew apart. he loved them like they were his own blood and protected them like they were too (we see a lot more of them together in the comics, where spider is the big brother without a doubt). neteyam's death most certainly rocked him hard, even if he hasn't really been able to show it (how could he? he's already going through all the shit with his dad and the RDA and their nonsense, he can't grieve around neytiri, he's just so tired after it all. he doesn't have the room or the energy to grieve yet)
so if jake had the audacity to say that to/around spider not even a few hours after he watched his little brother get shot after coming to save him, after he stared at the bullet hole in his back, after he watched him take his last breaths, after he watched the light leave his eyes, after he watched his little brother die for him; if he said that while his little brother's body lay in a pool of his own blood not even ten feet away, not even cold yet, blood still clinging to his chest, the scent of it still filling the air: he would have lost his shit.
because the disrespect for his brother is wild.
jake was an active player in spider's neglect and abuse for the last 16 years, he let it happen, he helped it happen. he tried to send spider with the humans, tried to take him away from his siblings, from the forests, from eywa to live with his foster family that didn't love him (not to mention Nash was an asswipe of epic proportions) and the RDA of all people. he had referred to spider as a stray animal since he was little. he was the reason spiders life was hell.
and after all that, years and years of putting him in shit positions and allowing him to suffer the fate of being forever unloved and uncared for (by an adult authority figure, cause I love the kids, but they don't make up for the gap left by a parent), this is what it took for jake to care about him? his little brother had to die in front of him first? he had to be traded out to fill the space of a corpse, to fill in the gap left by his little brother's death?
in canon, spider was in deep in shock with nothing to break him from it, he wasn't in the place to really think about any of it, and I'm sure we're gonna see this anger in the coming movies, but if jake had said it out loud, that would have been enough to snap spider right out of it, and he would have given jake a piece of his mind, I just know it.
#he loves neteyam too much to let jake do that. to say that. he'd never allow it.#spider is such a good big brother. he loves his siblings too much.#if jake had said that to his face there would have been hell to pay. regardless of how out of it spider was with shock/grief/pure exhaustio#spider doesn't even care about the disrespect being done to him by that statement. he just cares about neteyam.#cause how could a father say that? how could he just move on. fill the gap with a “stray” as he puts it. take him in after all he'd done to#him? it wasn't fair#it wasn't fair to him and it most certainly wasn't fair to neteyam#I love spider. he deserves a family that loves him and wants him. he wants it. but this is not what either of us asked for.#that line has always rubbed me wrong. and it would have rubbed spi wrong too. I just know it.#I really hope we see spider express his rightful anger/disgust to this whole thing next movie#though I worry he will be too busy feeling guilty over everything and feeling like he just has to be grateful. but one can hope.#he deserves to be angry#and his dynamic with neteyam deserves to be explored. cause its a crime that it was ignored in the movie.#avatar 2#avatar the way of water#spider socorro#miles spider socorro#miles socorro#neteyam#neteyam sully#neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan#jake sully#I wanna punch that man so hard istg. I can't with him. I won't say I hate him. but lord have mercy I can't with him.#my baby boys deserved better#spider was neteyam's big brother. that's my agenda#we need to talk about them more
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having seen at least the rough outlines of all the romances now I have to say that I think emmrich's is probably objectively the best in terms of coherence and completeness of story arc (with the understanding that ultimately the 'best' romance is whichever one makes YOUR heart sing anyway so objectivity is a silly thing to claim that way, it just felt like it's the arc with the most well-paced focused content and the least dangling threads)... but lucanis' is my favourite haha. just. the whole kneeling before your beloved full of reverence but without any of the distance that usually implies??? his complete undramatic certainty and calm in every scene with rook after this, having spent the whole game caught between fear and longing???? mr. lives in a pantry but it says nothing about my psyche don't worry about it it's purely for tactical reasons that I keep myself contained in a small dark room not entirely unlike a cell, love among the parsnips -- finally coming to rook in their room and it's so comfortable and comforting???? after all the times rook supports and comforts him through the game he's finally able to return the same to them when they need it while being so calm and steady and it's so fucking sweet and feels so effortless and with no price attached?????? he basically assigns himself the role of your bodyguard and he WILL stab a god over it??????????????? the turn to protector (which was in his heart all along longing to get out and find a place) of it all????? he sounds like he's found himself unexpectedly stumbling into such a soul-lightening state of revelatory existential relief, full on 'you only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves' mary oliver style, and he goes and he shares that with rook and protectively envelops them in it when they're hurting??????????????????????????? hello for the maker's sake hello can anyone hear me?????
#listen I was forged in the fires of garrusmancing. I went through two whole games just to get a gentle headbutt and some tender words#before me3 comes along and rewards you for your tenacity more fully#me? the reyes romancer???? I have the strength and headcanon game to bear the relative lack of content before the end#when the endgame is this good I am willing to hold out for it haha the way he looks at rook towards the end......#I also really liked taash' (it's really sweet) but I don't think I have any rooks ready to go right now who would go for that vibe#emmrich for sure is going to be my either crow or shadow dragon romance it really is very good! and extremely goth not unrelatedly#undeniably that old man has the most game out of anyone in this story. the move with the flower??? I'm sorry????#I actually like that lucanis' romance blooms out of the safety of an established friendship more than anything (again. avowed garrusmancer)#but emmrich... he's got some next level romantic stuff going on and is being both so wholesome and such a freak about it lmao#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#all jokes aside I totally respect and understand that people are a bit disappointed and frustrated -- they're not wrong to feel that!#there really are some gaps in content there for the midgame#however I was personally custom built by experience to get the most out of this scenario as possible and by god I will#just as I feel that ryder and reyes go off and have some soul-shrivingly good sex after the first kiss#(it makes that arc make a lot more sense to me haha)#I think rook and lucanis Get Up To It after the second coffee date. weird of them to not show us that but okay I'll fill it in myself then
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If Selina (the writers) were smart they would’ve trapped the winx girls in their greatest desire/fantasy kinda like making a story page for each girl. Like that episode justice league/supergirl when that alien plant trapped superman and supergirl in the mind in their heart’s desire so when they woke up they were grieving all over again. It would destroy the girls.
#I still haven’t seen her season I’ve only heard bits and pieces#I fill like having them on separate pages is good#I feel like they’d know something up because they feel a little foggy but every time they try to think to hard something happens#or someone comes to bother them#It would be like a mix of supergirl s1 ep13 and wandavision#it could also be like the justice league animated series justice society episode#winx club#winx rewrite#winx selina#winx layla#winx aisha#winx bloom#winx stella#winx flora#winx musa#winx tecna#black mercy is the name of the plant if you want to look it up#now that I think of it I kinda want black mercy to be on linphea either for real or as a folktale
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doodlin some joh’s
#kagoodles#trainer kris#trainer ethan#trainer lyra#rival silver#green background bc I’m a spinach head lately. and a mustard green enjoyer bc i had some good potstickers that had it in the filling#kris to me should be a little cartoonishly malleable. a smiling smirker. like >:]#i also think ethan has a little unevolved natu on his team. purely for the “you can evolve when you feel like it buddy” vibe#been considering what to make team wise for the joh's but a fun idea i've got brewing is that lyra and silver Both have chikoritas#i know he canonically has a totodile but i have a fun workaround for the future that i'm workshopping a lil#when getting starters silver thought he stole the only chikorita in the lab. then when lyra comes in elm gives her a Shiny chikorita#12 year old absolutely devastated hammering fist on the floor mad but he gets over it (but maybe still a Little salty)#learns to mellow out a bit with his potato dino over time and the evolutions for both of their meganiums have different flowers/colors/type#i know i've been out the whole month i've been unfortunately stuck in the post midpoint of the sem where the workload is Crazy#been prepping works for an art show at my college And getting projects done for deadlines and it is. a Toll#but I will get One illustration done. i've been planning out lyra's dress for a piece and the second to last pic is the test for it
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I recently started reading (and ended up dropping partway through) an m/m retelling of an old legend, and it made me think of this reoccurring thing I've come across a handful of times now in m/m fiction and how they approach women, equality, and world-building.
Let's call it the omegaverse problem, because that's where it seems the most blatant (I've only come across it twice outside of fandom spaces that I can remember). Basically, it's when the writer looks at the unequal and sometimes oppressive roles women serve in society (today and historically), and goes 'this is a good basis for dark romance but there are too many women here' and then just. plops men into the roles traditionally served by women and recreates heteronormative tropes but They're All Men Now, none of those icky women.
Now, completely removing any and all gender based inequality isn't a bad basis for a queer-inclusive fantasy! But thing is, this type of narrative isn't interested in women, so they often read as if women have mysteriously disappeared from society (except for the occassional mom or sister). They don’t bother to include women in traditionally male areas (the book I dropped had plenty of male courtesans, with diplomats and bodyguards and advisors also being male) nor to create new roles for them.
They also generally don’t bother to look critically at the systemic and societal inequalities they're mimicking. The concept 'typically sexist society but they're all men (or all women)' could be used to alienate and deconstruct our ideas of what’s 'normal' and what’s oppressive, a way to compare the intersections of class and gender. Instead, this kind of story is only interested in using inequality as inter-character conflict and set-up for romance. And it sucks.
#rambles#i assumed going in that the original legend (which i was unfamiliar with) was a bromance kind of thing#and that the author was reimagining it as explicitly queer#but it kept feeling like one of the roles had simply had 'she' replaced with 'he'#and looking up the original yeah it was an m/f romance#and switching that up to m/m is obviously fine!#but women felt so wholly removed from the worldbuilding and the narrative where they had been central that it started feeling like erasure#if it wanted to be a sort 'gender blind' world where women and men could equally fill all roles that would've been so easy to do!#literally any of the side characters could’ve been gender flipped!#but no everyone but the supportive sister and dying mom Must Be Men#this is what you get when the author doesn't slow down to think about the implications of the worldbuilding#good fantasy always thinks about the implications of the worldbuilding!!#anyway i would usually have had this rant in a review/critique#but my personal policy is to never review a book a didn’t finish so. tumblr complaining time instead. yay#nella talks books
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TADC SPOILERS
(Also slight Kinger rant)
This show is gonna make me go insane. Y'know, when Pomni and Kinger were listening to all the recordings, I was making some connections due to how Kinger was acting in the moment. Oh, no, it's reminding him of his wife :(
But I wasn't being serious about it cause I didn't think Queenie was canonically his wife. Heck, it wasn't even canon that he had a wife. But oh my god. Then, this scene happened.
I was already going insane over what they had said, but holy shit.
We were right
WE WERE FUCKING RIGHT
HE MISSES HIS WIFE, GUYS
"You look beautiful, honey"
As he looks into the black mass of a bunch of glowing eyes, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS
#you have no idea how loudly I screamed when this was revealed#I wasn't sure this whole thing with Queenie would ever actually be canon but holy shit I love it so much#I feel like doing another rant just on their relationship CAUSE THEY'RE SO FUCKING CUTE#SHE GOT HIM INTO BUGS GUYS#AAAAUGHHHHHH#CHECKMATE IS CANON BABYYYY#this episode was filled with so much good kinger stuff#I love this chesspiece so much#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc kinger#kinger#tadc queenie#queenie#kinger x queenie#checkmate#rant#ramblings
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A little promo with my little obsession on the side...........
Reminder all items are shipped from Poland - for details on shipping times check out FAQ or send me a private message!
mmezzy.bigcartel.com
#klance#halloween au#im projecting on the internet my own impostor syndrome#i feel that im awful and should be learning how to draw instead of writing shitty fics#and when i want to write a post and share a little doodle or smth - 'sorry' is right between the lines and its so frustrating#like???? nobody probably cares#im either here or im not#and if i need to finish that little abomination of a fic then so be it you'd think people wouldnt mind too much#and would still want to listen to my captions and see whatever silly doodle however silly it is as long as its true#..............but what if its all redundant#what if i cant draw after i had to flip my entire routine upside down#and will forever chase a thrill of feeling like a prolific artist and it will be always out of reach now#what if people scroll past my art and feel nothing now#what if world is filled with people who kinda hate klance but stay out of reflex and not bc its their deeply routed source of comfort#what if i reached an artistic plateau and will never be good enough#what if this is the limit of my 'talent'#what if i will forever love the projects i want to share but will always hate the execution of it wanting to fix it fix it fix it learn mor#i keep reading the little notes i get on orders#some screenshots i saved#i find good words and opinions and love letters to art as a whole#and i feel insufficient#subpar#i drew a comic about it to an old poem and still havent finished it#there is a point of trying your best when it stops feeling like a challenge and feels like a failure#its the moment where you keep going of course#and yet#there are emotions im sure nobody shares on social media bc we just try to get through them#but who else will take it better than tumblr tags#either way if im less around its because im dealing with creational self-hatred and artistic ambitions#but on the other hand arent all artists like that? i ran out of tag space btw have an awesome weekend
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All right so I haven't been active in the Julie and the Phantoms fandom in a long time, and although I know there are definitely still people creating and reblogging in the fandom it tends to be a much smaller handful of people than it used to, which for me felt disheartening and was part of why I've backed off from it. I'd love to see new stuff more regularly and start recirculating older things just to remind myself and anyone else who needs it how much I love this silly little show.
All this to say, I am putting out feelers to see if anyone is interested in a blog that runs consistent, casual event-type things for the fandom to try and revitalize interest in jatp fanworks, like featured weeks for individual characters here, fic rec events, etc. I'm toying with ideas to inspire people to pick up their wips, spark new stories, and highlight older content that didn’t get much attention or would just be nice to see again. I’d like to create a community space to liven the fandom back up for people who miss the show or got into the fandom after the hype died down. Does that seem interesting to anyone?
#julie and the phantoms#jatp#I'm filled with both hubris and resolve and I feel like. with other people modding the blog as well. this would be doable#i already have a LOT of ideas about wip events to get stories written that have been sitting untouched i know i'm not the only one w/h thos#so i guess if that sounds good to you interact with this in some way? and if you're interested in being involved/have ideas#please share! if it's just me on a reblog spree it won't work but if we all pitch in to talk to each other#(and i know. if you know me you know i'm not always great at that. but having a Format for it makes me good at it so)
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