#it even seems to point that out in the subtitle “beyond canon”

[heirhonkful]

Okay, lemme ask. Is HS^2 good? I was reading it when it started, but dropped it after a while because I wasn't enjoying it and wasn't sure about it's status as canon to homestuck proper.

Initially, I was assuming it was something like an "official fanfiction." Officially made by a group of people who own the homestuck license, but because it's not actually written by the same author and stuff, basically as 'canon' as any fanfiction. Which I thought was super interesting and a fun stance to take. But I don't think the team ever really took that stance, and I was just believing the interpretation of a friend at the time who was in the patreon. And realizing that I kinda lost interest.

I was mostly just wondering if it's actually a good story or not. Regardless of its canoninity with the original Homestuck, if it's good, I wanna give it a try, and if it's bad, well, I can just keep putting my attention towards other things.

And by god. I'm sure there's some stupid drama shit or weird controversy going on, as always with homestuck. I don't want any of that in the replies, I just wanna know if it's a good story so far lol please.

[doctor-yaoi-phd]

Confessions of a Rotten Girl MV References to Fujoshi and Yaoi Culture

0:13 In the background of Miku’s room we can see dakimakuras hung on the wall, as well as a poster of a bara esque character wearing a face mask. Dakimakuras, or body pillows, are a common piece of anime merchandise.

0:17 All of Miku’s speech bubbles within the video are stylized like manga bubbles, even using the same font (wildwords). Also, the object she’s holding behind her is a yaoi paddle, a long pine wood paddle that were sold in the mid to late 2000s as decorative props, but were also used by some convention goers to spank others as a prank. While they typically read ‘Yaoi’, ‘Seme’, ‘Uke’, or other similar terms, hers reads ‘sinner’.

0:24 We get a better look at the manga she’s buying in this scene. The illustration is of a man getting his pec grabbed, with “Knockers” written up at the top. The text on the front reads “The best ever.”, and is subtitled “Time to see some old man hole”. The character seems to be one of Hokawazu’s, an NSFW artist who appears to have drawn this image, or at least been referenced by it. Additionally, the cover advertises a free CD that comes with the manga. BL CDs are a form of media in the yaoi genre in which the story is constrained to an audible form. Audio dramas that can be either explicit or safe for work in their content.

0:34 The cream on their faces is a reference to the trope of frosting/cream being used as pseudo-semen to imply a sensual undertone to images that may otherwise be SFW (I believe, the aprons might also be a reference, but I’m not sure as to what). Also, Yuuma and Len are the only two of the five without frosting on their faces - they’re also the only two who aren’t sexualized throughout the MV, presumably because they’re Miku’s classmates and therefore high schoolers and most likely underage.

0:36 Lemon slices float upwards, referring to the Citrus Scale, an older metric of labeling explicit fan works. ‘Lemon’ in this context indicates that the work is erotic or explicit in nature.

0:40 Example of classic seme/uke dynamic. Note Kiyoteru’s smaller and less muscled frame, as well as his more pointed jaw as compared to Gakupo’s square chin. Gakupo’s lanyard reads ‘Soft Seme’, and the camera effects imply Miku is recording all of this. Additionally, the lyrics and the outfits the characters are wearing imply that they are students and faculty members at Miku’s school, which means she’s shipping real people, as Fujoshi’s are often criticized for doing.

0:43 This whole image is a Given reference.

0:44 The lyric “Just watch! Look beyond the smoke and mirrors” refers to shipping culture, and how some fans with theorize that their pairing would be canon if not for an outside acting force such as management, producers, writers, etc. The most popular example I can name in reference to this is the Johnlocke conspiracy.

0:47 Luka is scribbled out and labeled ‘Delusional’ by Miku, in reference to how female characters and actors tend to be treated poorly by some fans for ‘getting in the way’ of slash ships.

0:51-0:57 Kaito, Kiyoteru, and Gakupo are bound in bondage ropes, except for Gakupo, who is bound with jump ropes because he’s the gym teacher.

1:03 Miku is holding a Death Note, except it’s not a Death Note, it’s a ‘Yaoi Note’. May be a reference to Lawlight, a popular Death Note ship.

1:06 “The lord sayeth “halt thy child, don’t give into sin”” is a reference to how some Fujoshis have referred to yaoi as ‘sin’ in the past, and the act of engaging with it as ‘sinning’.

1:15 Omegaverse referenced on the chalkboard next to bananas and donuts; bananas referring to penises, donuts referring to assholes. Anal sex.

1:27 Rotten tomatoes, as are thrown in disapproval at a poor performance. At first I thought this was a Hetalia reference, but figured that might be a bit too deep of a cut. They’re also used in reference to the ‘rotten’ in ‘rotten girl’ (“rotten girl” is a translation of the word “Fujoshi”), rotten tomatoes for a rotten girl.

1:38 This whole segment is a Danganronpa references, a fandom with many popular slash ships.

1:43 Top left and right of the chalkboard are Ao3 symbols, specifically the ones for Explicit, M/M, Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, and Completed Work.

2:00 Most of this is obscure to me, but if I were to hazard a guess, I’d say the fruit is referencing forbidden fruit (as brought up earlier in the song), the ping pong paddles yaoi paddles, and the tarts the desserts the boys were holding earlier.

2:10 MikuMikuBeam in the bottom right corner. Not yaoi, but a cute reference to another of Sawtowne’s works.

2:13 She’s using some website on the computers in the back, but the pixelation makes it hard to tell which. I’d guess maybe a manga reading website? But none I’m familiar with.

2:21 Refers to a trend on TikTok where the speed at which the circles are moving implies the speed at which the corresponding character is having sex (top or bottom).

2:25 Another reference to the Citrus Scale.

2:33 Penis in the reflection of her glasses.

2:52 And finally, slowburn is a fanfiction trope.

I probably missed a few, but these were the ones I was familiar enough with to speak on! Please stream Confessions of a Rotten Girl by Sawtowne :)

[miaikon]

From learning a Con-Lang to discovering ancient Star Wars Lore (or, a Star Wars Rant Part 2: Eclectic Boogaloo)

Update for the month I was gone (or, the part you can skip if you just want the rant):

I am no longer almost 40 now, I am 40. So, please be patient with this little old lady. I fell a LOT deeper into the rabbit hole in the past month, so this is not only about the Mando'a language any more.

Also, sadly, my Star Wars TTRPG group is on hiatus cause scheduling conflicts and everyone else wanting to go back to D&D.

I'm still fangirling, and still feeling awkward and too old about it. I also got given a bunch of helpful links last time, which I am grateful for. I checked them out, but I do not feel up to joining any Discords at this point. I barely use the app, and I would still feel like an intruder.

I am, however, getting an AO3 account to bookmark a few fics I found and am waiting on updates for. The open tabs are getting ridiculous at that point. Also, I actually want to be able to comment. Special mention to "A varianble star", which had a great depiction of a very traumatized and messed-up character.

The Mando'a confusion (or, why are so few sillables doing so much heavy lifting?)

Really, sometimes it seems like someone made up like ten words from scratch, then tried to get the rest by combining parts of these words. You want examples? Too bad, you get them anyway.

kar'taylir - To know. This one is cheating, since the literal meaning "to hold in the heart" is pointed out in the dictionary. It is, however, the word that made me look for this pattern.

karyai - I cottoned on to this one since my spouse constantly mispronounced it as "karyaim". Kar again for heart, yai(m) for home, so heart of the home. It is the main room of the house. With me so far? Too bad, on we go.

ik'aad (baby) and adiik (child 3 to 13) are literally the inverse of each other. Were they even trying?

Bes'briik. Rail. Bes for Beskar or iron, and briik means line. Iron line.

Last point: What is up with the city of Sundari and how is it pronounced? When I first watched Clone Wars, I had subtitles off since I wanted to practice my English, and I could swear it was "Sindabe" or even "Cindabe" from what I heard. Which would make sense, analogue to Keldabe, and the "Cin" spelling would translate to "White settlement" or "white stronghold" in my mind. I tried to research this, and all I found was a mining planet called Sundari, in addition to the city. Can anyone help me out here?

Mandalorian names (or, can you really go wrong with your fan names if these are official?)

Not wanting to dunk on anyone, but some of the Legend and even canon character names get funny/ edgy/ ridiculous if you translate them. But then again, Darth Caedus was a thing, and that name is latin for "slaughter".

My first victim here is Kal Skirata. Kal meaning blade or knife is pointed out in the book itself, if I remember correctly. Skirata is, as far as I know, left untranslated, so allow my amateurish self to try. Skira means revenge, but in a personal way. Ta could either just be there for the looks or short for tal, blood. So, in the best case, he is "Knife Revenge", in the worst, he is "Knife Blood Vengeance". However edgy that is, he has nothing on the next guy, and his might be a perfectly normal Mandalorian name.

Second one: Gar Saxon. I got nothing for "Saxon", but "gar" literally means "you". This poor guy's parents took a look at his tiny baby face way back when and named him "you". And this is the one I can't get over. For the life of me, I do not understand how this happened or how this got past whatever internal consistency or quality control Legends had. As far as I know, that guy is stil canon. He was in Rebels. Sabine ends him iirc.

Honorabloe mention: Jaro Tapal. Jaro meaning "death wish". Since he's a Lasaati Jedi, I think this one is just an unfortunate coincidence, like someone's name sounding like a cuss word in another language.

Beyond the language: Canon, Legends and Fanon confusion (or, what the hell is going on?)

So, as I mentioned, I read Fan Fiction as a guilty pleasure thing. Preferably fanfiction that has Mandalorians in it. I stumbled over a few things I'm curious about.

Beskar as a force-blocker: This is in almost every fic I read, and I cannot, for the life of me, find where it originated. There's no EU/ Legends/ Canon source I could find for Beskar blocking the Force in a similar way to lead blocking radiation. If you know where this came from, please tell me.

Does Keldabe still exist? I pictured and still picture Mandalore as basically divided in two, with the desert and Sundari in the south, while the north is more forest-y and houses Keldabe, the Mandal Motors company, and Kyrimorut, amongst other things. I believe, though, that is neither accurate to Legends or Canon, and I just combined both versions of Mandalore in my mind. Even though we see ships Mandal Motors produced as recent as the Mandalorian TV show, so they must be around somewhere.

Why is there no Mando'a word for the New Mandalorians? The other two factions got them. I found some fan-made ones that do work, though.

Wild card: What happened to Jabba the Hutt's son?

Lightsabers, and the Darksaber, being sentient: It's a fun idea to play with, so I see why some authors do. It goes a lot into the magic direction for something that sells itself as Sci-Fi, though. Adding to this, is the Force sentient?

Was there really only one force-sensitive person born to Mandalorian parents?If no, what happened to the others? Is there a secret order of Mandalorian force users? Are they sent away to other force-traditions than the Jedi? Also, the term "stars-touched". I love it, but I think that one's fanon.

Concluding words

That's it for now, thank you for reading. This got, once again, quite long. I still am trying to disentangle myself from this obsession - I am an adult, and should act the part. Still, there's so much to see and think about that I can't let go.

Part 3 in a month, maybe.

[gffa]

SO WHAT ARE JEDI HEALERS LIKE IN CANON? The subtitle of this project was literally, “Started making it.  Had a breakdown.  Bon appetite.” because Star Wars lore is a mess of about five distinctly separate continuities and hardly anything has been devoted to this particular niche of Jedi worldbuilding.  I spent a few hours hunting down sources, most of which were just one or two lines, at most a whole entire single paragraph! of information, and not much on how Force healing actually works. This is fair, primarily the Force is about the emotions the user puts into it, that’s the core, central theme of what the Force means to Star Wars worldbuilding, rather than nitpicking details about hard rules of how it works.  Further, the Force isn’t full of hard and fast rules on a bigger scale, it depends on the person, it depends on their mood, it depends on whether it’s a Tuesday or a Friday, because it’s about serving core themes, not about serving a system of magical rules. That said, here’s what we know of Jedi Healers specifically in canon, both as a group within the Jedi Order and as an ability of the Force.  This post will mix together Legends and Disney/Lucasfilm canon, as well as include RPG books that are not meant to be sources of canon, because the whole point of this is to give worldbuilders some tools to start with, should you want!  HAVE SOME FUN WITH IT, PICK OUT WHAT YOU LIKE, AND BUILD UP FROM THERE.  \o/ KNOWN JEDI HEALERS: - Rig Nema (Lucas canon, Disney/Lucasfilm canon) - Stass Allie (Disney/Lucasfilm canon, as a healer) - Barriss Offee (Legends canon as a healer, Disney/Lucasfilm canon as working with healers) - Mill Alibeth (Disney/Lucasfilm canon) - Nahdar Vebb (Fantasy Flight Games canon, as a healer) - Vokara Che (Legends continuity) JEDI HEALERS ROLE IN THE JEDI ORDER: Jedi healers seem to be fairly rare and they were regarded as fairly precious:

(Jedi vs Sith: The Essential Guide to the Force / Legends canon) Note:  In this instance “Old Republic” = prequels era, and while this snippet is Legends, Rhinnal has been mentioned in Disney/Lucasfilm canon in The Rising Storm.  In the FFG books, the Jedi established a chapter house on Rhinnal for many patients that was still in use and had been expanded during the prequels’ Jedi Order’s time.  So, the Jedi have Halls-of-healing-esque houses on other places beyond Coruscant. Jedi Healers were regarded as the most sensitive Jedi of all:

(Wild Space / Legends Canon) JEDI HEALERS’ STRUCTURE: Rig Nema was a Consular Jedi, which was a Jedi that devoted themselves to the study of a science or diplomacy, where she was a dedicated doctor.  Jedi specializing in healing seem to often withdraw from any combat duties, as well as they fall under this specialized role within Jedi career paths.

(The Visual Encyclopedia / Disney/Lucasfilm canon) In Legends, the Jedi Healers worked with the MedCorps Jedi, as well as the were in leadership roles in the Temple’s infirmary and on worlds like Rhinnal and H’ratth.

(The Jedi Path / Legends canon) Note:  The Service Corps are tricky, because Legends established them just after The Phantom Menace came out, before even the second movie of the prequels had arrived, much less TCW or anything.  Which means much of the content that came later had a tendency to contradict itself, as well as they do not exist at all in Lucas’ canon, and they are only mentioned in deeply obscure reference guides in Disney/Lucasfilm canon (and no mention of aging out--which further cannot work the same way, as TCW and Dooku: Jedi Lost establish that 14 year olds are young for Padawans and that 17+ isn’t rare for Padawans), but have never appeared in any book or comic yet.  All of which means:  Feel free to use them!  Source material is a buffet that you get to pick and choose from!  But be aware that some things are fundamentally incompatible from one continuity to another, and the Service Corps is a big one of those. Within the Jedi Order, there was a sub-order of the Knights who practiced healing arts, called the Circle of Jedi Healers:

(The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia / Legends canon)      “Seated on the Jedi High Council due to her invaluable role as a Jedi Consular, Master Stass Allie is gifted not only in diplomacy and Lightsaber combat, but also Force healing. As a member of the Circle of Jedi Healers and overseer of the Medical Corps, she continues to hone her healing abilities even while deployed as a general for the Galactic Republic in the Clone Wars.” (Complete list of Force Collection cards / Continuity status unknown, probably Legends as it started in 2013) Not all Jedi had to be dedicated healers to work with the medical clinic.  In Disney/Lucasfilm canon, Barriss Offee often spent time helping injured Jedi, because she found healing to give her solace.

(Stories of Jedi and Sith / Disney/Lucasfilm canon) Though, in Legends, Barriss was more directly a healer, working under Stass Allie in the Circle of Jedi Healers, where she specialized in disease rather than surgery.

(Star Wars Databank / Legends canon) Similarly, when Mill Alibeth finds her place within the Jedi Order, at Yoda’s suggestion that she use her abilities for specialized medical and spiritual assistance for war-wounded Jedi, she’s not necessarily Master Nema’s Padawan, it’s not so formalized as that, showing that there’s a lot of flexibility within the Jedi Order’s studies and paths.

(Brotherhood / Disney/Lucasfilm canon) JEDI HEALERS’ ABILITIES: While Jedi healers focus on medical training, they also train Jedi in the main components of Jedi philosophy, like greater control and insight.  When Mill Alibeth begins training with Rig Nema, she gains greater mastery over herself and the insight she has into Anakin in their meditation together:

(Brotherhood / Disney/Lucasfilm canon) In addition to Jedi healers being rare, it seems like it was taxing for them to directly use Force healing, because it drained them personally.  While much of Kylo’s ability to revive Rey seems to come from that they were a dyad (and this would not be possible with other types of Force Healing, so other Jedi could not do that particular thing), Rey does do some Force Healing, where she must calm herself and center herself to do it properly, and it takes energy from her to accelerate healing. It’s not much here, she doesn’t need to recover from it, but anything more significant and likely she would have.  So, Jedi healers have to be careful about how much they give of themselves when healing others.  This is also why Grogu collapses after healing Greef in The Mandalorian.

(The Rise of Skywalker novelization / Disney/Lucasfilm canon) Another Jedi healing ability is the Healing Trance, which would accelerate their natural healing process.  While in this trance, because their heartbeat and breathing slow, they can appear to be dead to others, and they’re unaware of the world around them.  Depending on the climate, they can last anywhere from a week to a month within this trance, without outside hydration being given to them.

(Jedi vs Sith: The Essential Guide to the Force / Legends canon) JEDI HEALERS WITH THE FORCE VS TECHNOLOGY: The Jedi Order of the prequels seems to balance between technology and the Force, that both have their place in healing.  In the episode “Voices”, Rig Nema relies on medical scans to show Yoda’s physiology, as well as a tank of dark liquid (either a bacta tank or a sensory deprivation tank, both would be useful for Jedi who need calm and no distractions to connect to the Force) to help him, but it’s balanced with his connection to the Force being plumbed, it’s not focused only on technological means.

JEDI HEALERS HAVE TO WATCH OUT FOR: In addition to being extra sensitive, Jedi Healers would be spending time in places that were soaked in pain and suffering, just by the nature of injured people’s anguish.  Not only would they face the difficulty of dealing with a patient’s pain directly, Force-sensitive means being psychic, as in that pain literally soaks into the walls around them.

(”The Jedi Who Knew Too Much” / Lucas canon / Disney/Lucasfilm canon) It’s intense enough in places that have a bad accident and those feelings linger, it’s a hundred times worse in places where people are always in pain or dying.  Jedi Healers aren’t just subjected to the person’s suffering that’s right in front of them, but the thousand patients before them that have left their emotional imprint on the walls, the floor, the ceiling, the pillows, the bed, the very air around them. HALLS OF HEALING/MEDICAL WINGS:

The Medical Center and Infirmary seem to be located about halfway up the left-hand side of the main ziggurat: "Medical center and infirmary, staffed by Jedi Medical Corps.” (Complete Locations | Disney/Lucasfilm canon)

“The Jedi Temple's Halls of Healing were beautiful. They had lofty ceilings and enormous windows that spilled golden light over the blue and green and rose-pink walls and floor. Imbued with the Force's most gentle aspects, with love and nurturing and peace, they were full of perfumed flowers and green growing things, with the music of running water and the vibrancy of life renewed. They were the perfect retreat for those who were broken in body and mind, a place where the ugliness of suffering was washed away.” (Wild Space | Legends canon)

It’s difficult to get a sense of the size of it in The Clone Wars, but it seems to be fairly big, given the diversity of what we see of it, there may be more hard scientific areas and more gentle healing areas, both:    - Obi-Wan’s transformation into Rako Hardeen is in an area with multiple cordoned off areas with doors that can be fogged over. (The Clone Wars | Lucas canon , Disney/Lucasfilm canon )

Likely the same area in the episode “Voices”, it seems like it’s in an area of the Temple that’s a hallway away from windows facing the outside. (The Clone Wars | Lucas canon, Disney/Lucasfilm canon)

 Anakin and Mace share a recovery room, which has a different style from the other infirmary rooms, done in different colors and with softer lighting, indicating that they have gentler recovery rooms versus the active medical problem areas It has a window looking out over Coruscant, indicating that it’s near the edge of the ziggurat, likely an area for less critical patients and meant to promote healing. (The Clone Wars | Lucas canon, Disney/Lucasfilm canon)

 Yoda is put in the infirmary in an area that looks to be the same area, but also has a separate area for a bacta tank, which seems to be at least possibly similar to the same area Depa was in when she was submerged in bacta. When Anakin walks into the room (and later he and Yoda walk out), we see what looks like sky through a window in the background of the outside hallway, possibly indicating this was near the edge of the ziggurat as well.  (The Clone Wars | Lucas canon, Disney/Lucasfilm canon)(Kanan: The Last Padawan | Disney/Lucasfilm canon)

[pseudobabble]

My Really Lukewarm Take on Damien Chazelle’s Babylon

Subtitled “Playing Jenga With The Devil: Or, The Price You Pay For Once Upon a Time In Hollywood AU Fix-It Fanfiction”. I touch upon Whiplash + Once Upon a Time in Hollywood at some length here too. Whatever

     At a certain period of time, in certain circles, there was a recurrent phenomenon of people who made a big deal out of liking “film” but seemingly had no real grasp of the medium or major contributions to it beyond the most recent (How are you going to have a release from within the last calendar year on your Letterboxd favorites?) or the least arcane of the canon (Citizen Kane, Scarface, Psycho—Film Appreciation community college level core. Not to knock community college). What these people had a preternatural grasp on, though, was what made a bad movie—and it wasn’t uncommon to come across people who professed a deep, significant, undying love for cinema and who could not name a movie they liked that wasn’t a significant part of recent pop culture, but who could at length describe everything wrong with movies like Troll 2, Manos: The Hands of Fate, Birdemic, The Room. It got to a point where it seemed like there were more people who defined their love of film by their capacity to recognize when things were bad. Pointing to the obvious faults and flaws in low-budget movies, frequently made by non-Americans, where there were obvious and glaring lilts in conversations, plot movements, and character motivations, somehow constituted a keen sense of film criticism, even though a lot of it felt more like when a child knows that the gifts Santa supposedly brought had the same wrapping paper that their mom used for her coworker’s Christmas gift. To sit with a movie and enjoy it is to buy into an illusion, to let a lie happen to you. Sometimes the lie works. Sometimes it doesn’t. It’s variable. Some lies are obvious to everyone. It doesn’t take a detective to figure out that Santa didn’t conveniently have that same roll of paper, and likewise it doesn’t take much sage wisdom to understand that a first time filmmaker working with a limited budget and minimal proficiency (and weighed down by overconfidence) will have a harder time pulling the wool over your eyes than people with filmic pockets deeper than most graves, understanding of what works due to years of immersion in the field, and a steady level of what they are and aren’t capable of. 

     I don’t know if this category of person still lingers in the dredges of YouTube and Letterboxd, living life through the lens of 2011 like girls who are still devoted to One Direction members. I also don’t necessarily lack understanding of their thought process: negatives always stick out more than positives, and there’s a sense of community and unification in all collectively laughing at the same elements of something. The problem ends up being that in that collective experience, it is at the expense of someone’s expression. Remember, a lot of these same people have huge aspirations of making it big as a filmmaker, possibly the next Snyder or Fincher or Aronofsky. I think John Krasinski actually said something really lame about this that Paul Thomas Anderson told him:

He recalled an incident that happened at his house where during a discussion about a film, Krasinski casually remarked, “It’s not a good movie.” Anderson quietly explained the actor as to why it is important not to label films as good or bad.

“He so sweetly took me aside and said very quietly, ‘Don’t say that. Don’t say that it’s not a good movie. If it wasn’t for you, that’s fine, but in our business, we’ve all got to support each other.’ The movie was very artsy, and he said, ‘You’ve got to support the big swing. If you put it out there that the movie’s not good, they won’t let us make more movies like that,'” Krasinski revealed.

Praising the Phantom Thread director, the actor said Anderson is “defending the value of the artistic experience.”

     Crazy how you can afford to not be cutthroat after several Oscar noms. What a nice guy!

     The thing about the bulk of these people is the most they’ll accomplish (if they ever do this) is filming an unmemorable short of worse quality before either dropping out to become a pothead, switching majors to something their parents are more approving of, or maybe persevering, making a few other shitty shorts, hacking it out through the bottom slums of the film school industry wherever is closest to them, writing Letterboxd reviews where they rate the movie out of five in the review despite the star rating being a native function. Maybe they will make YouTube videos reviewing the newest Netflix and Marvel releases. But I don’t think these people end up miserable about their fate. They acclimate. People stretch and shrink and contort to the box they find themselves in. Especially if they lack drive and discipline—if they’ve invested nothing more than time, shed no blood, sweat, or tears, then departure from one’s fantasy is really easy because they didn’t really do much to bring it forward. They imagined a glimpse of it, and that was enough. There’s nothing wrong with that. That’s what a movie is at the end of day—you concoct a fantasy. Sometimes no one else gets let in to your dream and careers die before they’re even born and entire galaxies no one will ever know about go down with them. 

     Sometimes, though, other people will make movies about characters who are super motivated, totally slavishly devoted to their craft and the idea of being the best at it. Even if it’s something as banal as slamming sticks against a drum set, over and over again until your palms are torn open and blood is all over the drums, but it’ll come right off, and all over the drumsticks, and you’re not sure if there’s some kind of finish on them that prevents staining or if end of day they’re just plain old porous wood that will let your blood seep into its crevices, bright red right now but you can just see it turning brown, because that’s inevitable—as inevitable as your attempt towards greatness, and as futile, too. And because every movie about art is really supposed to be a movie about the filmmaker in relation to filmmaking, this is about how you will break your own bones, hurt your own body, ruin your relationship with the hot girl who works at the theater you go to with your daddy because film is just that important to you. 

     But also, sometimes the idea of that and the presentation of it is a lot more romantic and grand and big than the follow up, and sometimes you make a movie about that because the caring is what you know people care about, and not what happens after to people who care too much about the wrong things, because nobody really thinks they care about the wrong things and if you say afterwards in an interview “I think there's a certain amount of damage that will always have been done. Fletcher will always think he won and Andrew will be a sad, empty shell of a person and will die in his 30s of a drug overdose. I have a very dark view of where it goes” no one really thinks twice about how the movie is kind of weird and in bad faith then. 

     Because really then the entire movie is build-up to a moment, and everything before is preordained because the characters are just your puppets to get a specific moment out of them. Everything is carefully, perfectly arranged, like a tea party, but you want bad things to happen. You want your stuffed animals to be horrible to each other, and you want a hint of gruesomeness—think of bloody hands being submerged into an iced pitcher, the diluted blood when he takes his hands out being evocative of Andrew being rendered into submission by his want. Think of a 19 year old boy, bruised and bleeding after running from a car accident, getting blood all over a drum set for the second time in the movie. Think of the tableau Chazelle paints in his description of what happens after the movie: for some reason, he wants someone to suffer. Not really because of something they wanted at a point; remember: he decided they wanted that, because it made it easier to justify their suffering. And that suffering culminates in a shared glance across a stage, and that’s the point of the movie: disrupting a live jazz show for a look of vague approval, and eventually you die after. Every moment of this is a blip on the radar for everyone else. 

     A lot of specific sequences and events that have been documented to history are, to us, preordained because we know how they go. A lot of stories share the same arc, the same premises, the same kind of order. Sharon Tate will have never not been murdered on Cielo Drive; for whatever reason, in Once Upon a Time In Hollywood, Tarantino offers her a reprieve, along with the rest of her housemates. Why? Tarantino obviously doesn’t have any particular fondness towards women. But he makes sure to show her off, safe and sound, not even necessarily rescued but glossed over by her would-be assailants at the very end of the movie, after the forces coming after her have been vanquished, after the brute who vanquished them has been safely carried off to the hospital for minor wounds, with the promise of bagels in the morning and a command to his only friend—and thus his best friend—to go to bed, enjoy his night with his spooked wife. But instead Rick’s invited to have a drink with Tate, and Jay Sebring, and everyone else. Tarantino didn’t need to make a statement on the fate of the characters after the movie—waning careers, marriage troubles, or hospitalizations aside, everyone’s alive and fine when the credits roll. But for some reason he decided to describe Rick Dalton’s revitalized career after the movie ends. Tarantino’s not a director known for empathy or being kind to his characters or giving characters in his movies space to live—but Once Upon a Time is an exercise in all of those things. Even the bloodbath towards the end could be far more gruesome or unwarranted, and it’s easy to sneer at just how excessive it does feel until you remember that those are fictional representations of the people who actually did kill Sharon Tate, and while the movie is in part about the possibility of preserving a life, it’s also about comeuppance. Cliff’s comeuppance is in his history of brutality making him the perfect candidate to fight off three unruly teens; Rick’s comeuppance is his career finally taking off after participating in the spaghetti westerns he so harshly slandered. Tate’s comeuppance is getting to live, and getting to see herself in a movie. You get the idea: Tarantino’s only being harsh in his just deserts as is requisite. 

     I want you to imagine, as I have frequently since seeing Babylon, Damien Chazelle sitting in a dark room with Once Upon a Time In Hollywood playing, and seething thinking about what a waste so much of it is—why is it so slow? Why isn’t Brad Pitt the lead? Why isn’t Margot Robbie in more of this? I want to see Margot Robbie naked, she’s so hot in Wolf of Wall Street. Why hasn’t the Manson family actually shown up yet? Who’s that blonde girl with the big tits? Why isn’t this movie more 60s? Why isn’t Charles Manson in this that much? Why isn’t he celebrating the beauty and magic of cinema? Where are the drugs? Where are the hippies? Why isn’t there more jazz music? 

     Whiplash is a good movie. This seems to be a fluke attributable to the performances in it and the simplicity of the plot in comparison to La La Land—which isn’t at all complex, it just isn’t about a 19 year old college student who wants to be the best little drummer boy in the world. First Man is the first ever AI generated movie, featuring a goodie bag of small roles from a lot of C, D, E, and F list actors. Clint Eastwood was originally supposed to direct it. It probably would have been better if he had. None of these three films, nor the one film that preceded them, could have prepared anyone for Babylon, a movie about a day laborer (?) a rising starlet (?) an italian larper (?) Jeff Garlin as Harvey Weinstein (?). There’s a lot, it’s a lot. 

     The components of the movie are overbearing and earnestly not worth dissecting. What’s more compelling to me is Damien Chazelle eviscerating Robbie and Pitt because he doesn’t really get to see them get eviscerated in Hollywood. The actual propulsion and process of the movie and the landscape and trajectory it takes you through really doesn’t matter because it’s less a film and more of a woodchipper. There’s an input and an output. Input: Actors. Output: their demise, all caught on film. 

     What also sticks out to me significantly, too, is the “so bad it’s good” movie seems to be a relic now—everything mediocre now always has a slick sheen to it, a polish, a once-over and special attention that the previously mentioned laughingstocks would never have gotten. Babylon is something of a drain to watch because of its utter humorlessness—what happens when the fuck-up isn’t even that fun to gaze at anymore? What happens when there’s nothing to jeer at? 

     I don’t think Chazelle played well with others as a kid. He isn’t very nice when he sees someone else playing with a toy he wants, to the point of taking it and breaking it. Now no one has the toy, but Chazelle has the satisfaction of knowing he made something bad happen. 

     Film is illusory and you can make the same car crash happen a thousand times but it’s a simulation and synthetic and even if it feels real or doesn’t feel real, no matter the staging or the framing, it’s not a real thing that’s happened. It only goes so far as you buy into it. Who’s buying into Babylon? Letterboxd contrarians desperate to formulate a hot take? Chazelle, because he’s decided to? 

     The problem with Chazelle is the same problem with most other 3rd generation/Millennial era filmmakers: what’s left when everything is homage? What’s left when everything is pastiche? You take acknowledgement of the canon and break it down like Legos because end of the day, who cares about creating a new canon? People obsessed with it won’t even let their own stuff in—which is why Tarantino worships Pauline Kael instead of Welles or Truffaut. The 2nd generation of filmmakers never anticipated the 3rd taking their work as seriously as they had once taken the previous masters. No one can indict them for that, but what happens when the guy looking up to you isn’t all that younger than you? Tarantino himself is already just playing with the toolset left to him. Chazelle’s just doing the same. The only difference being they’re both playing with it at the same time and one has clear comprehension and mastery and the other is just really really interested in fucking around with what the other one built. 

     Do you think Leonardo DiCaprio feels left out because he wasn’t in Babylon? Or do you think he’s more worried about global warming? Or dating another 25 year old? Do you think Miles Teller is relieved Damien Chazelle abandoned him for Ryan Gosling, or do you think he’s too busy enjoying being the new face to the military propaganda film complex? I think he’s probably grooming his mustache. Who cares 

[avi17]

I normally wouldn't do this but you chose to put your hate and your demands in a bunch of character tags so it would spread, so:

1) No matter how angry you get about it, they're still not blood related. Yes, that includes the new movie. The word they subtitle as cousin means something else entirely, and Liu Kang explicitly says that he is an orphan who didn't meet Kung Lao until after he was brought to the Wu Shi Academy. That may have been a handy marketing line, but the characters as they are actually written in the movie cannot be related.

2) You know that generally nothing beyond first cousins is actually considered incest right? Words have meanings. Even if they did have a common ancestor 500 years (roughly 20 generations) ago, that would not make them related in any way that would actually matter. Do you even know your family tree and every branch that came from it 500 years back? I doubt it.

3) I would dearly love to know what "plenty of canon gay ships" we have. I know tumblr tends to consider it the Acceptable Gay Ship, but y'all do remember that subscorp isn't canon, right? Literally the only gay ship that can MAYBE be considered canon is Mileena/Tanya, though the one place that seems to be confirmed is in a noncanonical tower ending. Kung Jin is a canonically gay character, which is great, but he does not have a canon love interest. There may be other gay ships you personally prefer, but there are literally zero canon M/M couples in this series- which is unsurprising given that its primary target audience is still straight boys.

4) The question of how the characters see each other is a valid one, but people change the dynamics between characters in fanworks or interpret them differently every single day, including in plenty of other ships in this fandom. Saying "what if it was this instead?" is part of the appeal of creating fanworks. You're going to have your work cut out for you if you want to police all of that.

5) Stop accusing LGBT+ people of literally fetishizing themselves 😂 As pointed out above, this game in a genre that still considers straight men its main demographic does not represent us. We're not fetishizing by interpreting relationships in it to better do so.

6) .... Fetishizing race? Because the characters are Asian, in a series about martial arts with a bunch of Asian characters? Kitana is also Asian, if you ship her with Liu Kang the way canon obviously wants you to, is that fetishizing their race? There are many legitimate discussions to be had about racism in fandom but that is one of the silliest things I've ever heard.

In conclusion:

[f-117-nighthawk]

Playlist Update Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

Part 2! Here lies Endless War, Dystopian Fiction, and Filaments. EW hasn’t changed much, DF has a bit and it's all INFECTED's fault, and Filaments has more than three songs finally. My explanations for these aren't quite as fleshed out (partially bc there's less in my head to flesh out with and partially because these aren't nearly as set in playdough as the main playlist. more like set in syrup)

Part One

In chronological order:

Endless War

Dark Matter is here because it always is, twining through everything else.

(Don’t stop, don’t think, don’t look back/You’re a bolt of lightning in the sky now/Don’t stop, don’t think, don’t look back/I’ve pulled you in, nowhere to hide now)

I Am the One links into Eater of Worlds as sort of the aftermath, sort of during Apocalypse 1992. Our Fifth General has her realization about [REDACTED] far, far before Team Voltron does because she’s there in the thick of it during Through Apocalypse Skies.

(I am the one/I hold the dreams from fallen heroes)

(We are gods, we are monsters/We create to devour/Not for love but for power/What’s a life worth in the end?)

(From the caves beneath Dundee/Ancient hermit arrives/A messenger to the war in the stars/Korviliath is nigh!)

The Truth Beneath the Rose is from the perspective of our last (and first) Blade in the aftermath of Through Apocalypse Skies, as she realizes just what she helped create. Also… kinda connects to a song in the main playlist, but not very obviously.

(Blinded to see the cruelty of the beast/It is the darker side of me/The veil of my dreams deceived that I have seen/Forgive me for what I have been, forgive me my sins!)

Raise Your Banner is The Fifth General’s newfound resolve as she starts collecting allies against Zarkon’s empire.

(Wake up/I’m defying you, seeing right through you, once I believed in you/Wake up/Feel what’s coming deep within we all know)

Obey is a bit of a weird one. It’s in the same vein as You Keep What You Kill in the main playlist, but it’s more specifically about the creation of the first Druids and how Haggar uses them against the Fifth General and her team.

(Obey, we're gonna show you how to behave/Obey, it's nicer when you can't see the chains)

Silver Moonlight is cracks forming in The Fifth General’s new set of alliances and her desperate and occasionally rash attempts to get them to believe in her goal. Not just the main one to take down the empire, but the one that will allow them to do that.

(I’m impatient, but it’s colors that I need/Too many shades of grey, I cannot breathe/The dreams I have ain’t tainted, I need you to believe/The only way to make them real, oh)

Endless War is the title track, connected to Holy Ground and I’d Rather Burn as a specific event but also sort of encompassing the Fifth General’s motivations throughout the series. She’s “hunting a miracle” that is also those colors from Silver Moonlight, and then the end of Endless War kicks in with Holy Ground, and the Fifth General’s final stand in I’d Rather Burn.

('Cause you’re fighting an endless war/Hunting a miracle/And when you reach out for the stars/They just cut you down/…/Is it worth dying for?/Or are you blinded by, blinded by it all?)

(You got inside my head, I want you out/'Cause I’ve been betrayed on holy ground)

(Won’t let you take my soul away/I’d rather go to the stake/I’d rather burn)

Empty Eyes is [long spoiler beep]. (and yes! I found it on Spotify finally!)

(I don’t know where I’m going/In search for answers/I don’t know who I’m fighting/I stand with empty eyes/You’re like a ghost within me/Who’s draining my life/It’s like my soul is see-through/Right through my empty eyes)

Dystopian Fiction

Dark Matter is on here because title track, but also it does end up with effects. Especially by the end… and of course, the Thing that is Wrong With Earth.

(Don’t stop, don’t think/Move up, don’t blink now/On your knees pray for rain/Don’t breathe when you take your aim)

The Human Condition is the Éskhayklos manifesto. A warning of the end times. The condemnation of the parasites. The reveal of the only cure. The final extinction cycle. Also their new image song, as Cross the Line got moved.

(We have the cure for the disease/Locked down inside us/When all is dead, then we will see/We are the virus)

INFECTED is the Éskhayklos’s slow, well, infection of the Sol Federation, and their descent into full-blown terrorism. (And yes, I know the actual lyrics have ‘he’. Shhhhhh. It’s a STARSET song, it’s about a Shirogane, even if it’s sort of from Cascade’s POV)

(Here's a challenge for all mankind/The preacher man is warning of the end times/The weatherman agrees but she don't know/So she's got to go now)

Who Will Save You Now here is about Sam, and the aftermath of Here to Save You, in addition to its referenced role in the main playlist.

(Alone with this vision/Alone and blind/Go tell the world I’m still alive)

Codebreaker is Adam’s song! But here it’s also in conjunction with Cross the Line as the final Éskhayklos mission before...

(Codebreaker can’t you find/Can you read between the lines of code?/Tell me all that you know/How far down the hole does it all go)

(Cross the line, redefine, break away unbent, unafraid/Together we stand in the dark/Seeking the light and what is right, together we cross the line/Our journey will come to an end and then our human cause will be/Justified)

The Day the Earth Collapsed

(How much time has been elapsed/Since the day the earth collapsed?)

Dystopian Fiction is the title track for this part. With the events of The Day the Earth Collapsed, the Garrison and our heroes on Earth are at their lowest point. It really is a piece of dystopian fiction, between [spoiler] and [spoiler]. They’re fighting for something that, at that point, must seem like ‘superstition.’ And also: “Nobody can shoot me down, not just yet” is about Adam bc Fuck Canon. Even if he does, technically, get shot down.

(I’m a dead man/In the wasteland/I’m a soldier fighting for superstition/Under searchlights/In the long nights/We’ve been written like dystopian fiction)

World on Fire and The Reckoning are the two of their subset that make it over here because they’re the two that happen before the result of This is a Call can come to fruition, and are more focused on our Earth heroes anyway.

(Sent by forces beyond salvation/There can be not one sensation)

(We’re all alone, walking in twilight/The night has been long and so many have fallen/Feel no remorse, light will be breaking/Our freedom is worth it all)

Filaments

Filaments is still in flux but does have way more solid than it did. Like, you know, most of an ending. I just don’t really know how they get from A to B yet.

Dark Matter is here because, well. A) Title track, B) yes, it still has effects. It’s the overarching theme, after all. Filaments sort of has a subtitle itself, which is ‘The Undoing,’ after the other part of the lyric that the subtitle of the main playlist comes from. It’s about undoing a past mistake (that wasn’t obviously a mistake until much later) and reconciling the events of Your World Will Fail.

(I am the keeper/I am the secret/I am the answer/I am the end)

Filaments is the title track of this part. It’s… a little hard to explain without giving away the entire plot but it’s about the connections between different parts of the universe, and some fall-out of Cosmic Vertigo and Louder Than Words.

(These glowing filaments/Conducting this enchanting/Sarcophagus that’s holding us)

Starlight is, again, Adashi song, and this time the happy part

(Don’t leave me lost here forever/I need your starlight and pull me through/Bring me back to you)

Carry Me Home is its eponymous fic.

(Carry me home to the morning light/carry me home before you wave me goodbye/Oh, carry me home…)

And then we get to the new part. Know that stuff in Carry Me Home about “The record skip that only [Keith and Krolia] can remember”? Yeah, Prognosis is a huge step to figuring that out.

(How long is the body beholden?/How long 'til we run out of road?/Deep down in the black of the ocean/Fading from the glow)

The timey-wimey ball gets tossed around more in Blackstar. Partially due to [REDACTED] and a certain terrorist’s reemergence, but also due to Prognosis-related stuff

(They'll let you try/To reverse everything/Don't waste your time/Sing Hallelujah 'cause you can't change anything)

Eon straight-up plays Calvinball with the timey-wimey ball and gets the Paladins stuck in a groundhog-day situation, and the only way out? Isn’t good.

(If time's a song, I won't wait for its reprise/I am done wishing farewells and goodbyes)

The Art of War and Centigrade are the beginning of the end. The Art of War is Cascade finally showing his true colors, and the Sol Federation not having a good time. Centigrade is the other side of it, Team Voltron having a realization of just what they’re going to need to do.

(I can remember all the days of violence/I can remember all the days they fought for rights/When men united all by fear and interest/I mustered them with hopeful promises I've broken)

(What did you hope to find adrift and lost in time?/Is this the end ready to begin?/It's time to escape the fate of destruction, excavating within until salvation/No longer pretend the future's a lie from a past you cannot hide)

The Future is Now and A Theater of Dimensions are. Well. You’ll see. It’s a little hard to pick a lyric from AToD, I'll say that much.

(They said there was no way/But they forgot the black hole in the sky/Yesterday is nothing/I have half a life to rewrite)

(I’ve seen our freedom in the mist of time/The old signs I’ll follow and the day of relief will be yours and mine)

And then there’s Afterlife. Fitting to end on a UtA song, after everything, especially since The Immortal has repeatedly throughout DM been a metaphor for Voltron. Also fitting that it’s this one, considering the parallels between the end of The Immortal’s story and Filaments

(But with such power, think how you could rule/Hold to your promise to watch over those in despair/Why would you choose to serve when you could be master of all?/Be true to your honour and fight for a world that is fair!/Out of shadow, out of darkness, welcome to the light/As the day shines boldly over night/Follow me to finally be who you are inside/Open wide, embrace the afterlife)

[pianosmasher]

I find it... interesting that Resident Evil 8, subtitled Village, is the first to introduce vampires and werewolves to the series. Up until that point, the series had always been about biological weapons, mainly of the viral kind. As a Dracula fan, I immediately pledged myself to catch all the way up on the series in anticipation for VIII after seeing the announcement trailer in June 2020. I basically didn’t know anything about the series, as I was too young for M-rated games during its heyday (at least by my parents’ standards) and had no older cousins or siblings who’d introduce me. I didn’t even make the pandemic connection at first. All I was thinking of was how my new PS4, bought with the money I’d originally saved to go see my mom in Tennessee one last time, was slowly becoming my new favorite thing. It’d gotten my roommate through April with The Last of Us Remastered and it got me through May with Horizon: Zero Dawn. If I’m gonna make the switch from Nintendo to Sony, I may as well get to know Resident Evil starting in June.

The pandemic parallels came in much later. I’m playing them in release order, and it’s not until the second game that the characters have the time and awareness to consider synthesizing a vaccine. The characters in the first game have to figure out what’s going on as it’s happening to them, and it’s important to remember that zombies came back into popularity due to the efforts of that first game, meaning the exact nature of the threat would have come off more ambiguous at the time. The game’s Japanese title, Biohazard, holds the clue: we’ve scarred an ecosystem, and the human damage may be beyond repair. All you can do is try to save all the people who don’t deserve to be there as it happens.

Starting in the second game, I'd hear the characters talk about vaccines. I myself will reach full vaccination status tomorrow afternoon, and here I am playing games with characters who’ve killed just to get close to making one. The difference between our viruses in theirs is that we actually have some hope of curing ours, as in the world of Resident Evil, everything seems unstoppable. Momentum never seems to end once it’s been picked up - not for the virus, not for the destruction, and certainly not for human greed. The player is supposed to survive and nothing more, not live and thrive but to continuously struggle, lose, and sacrifice as they make their way through an environment that is either mastered or deadly to the touch. “Don’t get too close,” the special operatives say to their fellow agents. Resident Evil offers the power fantasy of knowing how to handle something impossible through trial and error. The horror is overcome by learning to live with it. 

At least that’s how the first three games work. Starting with the fourth, all the atmosphere, pacing, and level design keep their levels of quality, but instead serve a much more direct fantasy of power in the form of a dread thriller with a pint of action thrown in for good measure. It’s clear that our relationship with the environment had changed by the time it was released. RE4 became the blueprint for third-person shooters, but funnily enough, going back to it reveals that it’s everything around the shooter that allows the main mechanic to shine that deep into the spotlight. The characters, for instance: Leon, now a professional, is infected with the game’s new virus himself early on, and he begins to have nightmares about what it might be doing to his body. If you’ve just come off playing through Leon’s first day as a cop in RE2, this is terrifying. He is practically a special agent at this point, meaning he’s accomplished quite a lot since the last game, so his plot armor can’t exactly be thick. Are we gonna see a character in Resident Evil, a game requiring a lot of death at first, actually die in canon? 

More importantly: what does he do now that he has the virus? Is he gonna be okay? Am I hitting myself too close to home? Or is this the only piece of media that feels relevant to me anymore?

Resident Evil 5 takes place in Africa, and despite semiplausible claims of racism actually ends up being a staunchly anti-colonial parable about overcoming a world of fear. Chris Redfield finally lets go of fear when he looks over at Jill Valentine and Sheva Alomar, the two women who have now saved his life too many times to count. RE5 was built for co-op play, and its story is based around the vulnerability and necessity of partnership. It’s not defeating the big bad in a giant volcano that helps Chris live uninhibited. It’s his support network, however small it may be. (There’s even a woman of color in it). The characters of RE have always been at the forefront of the experience, but 5 at least tries to make it clear that there really are people worth fighting for out there, and ten times out of ten, you can spot them as the ones who’re fighting right there with you. 

RE6 picks up on this theme of connection, gets high on nostalgia, and plays fast and loose with tone in a sort of victory lap. I’m not finished with it but it isn’t great so far. I also haven’t touched RE7, Code: Veronica, or Zero, as I want to finish those last two spinoffs before I move on to another phase of the mainline titles. And all the while, all my gaming channels are covering RE:Village without really covering it at all. I know that Capcom is bound to have some scientific explanation as to why vampires and werewolves made their debut in the series with this game, as it’d been in development for three years prior to its announcement, an echo of the past finally heard. But still, even if we’re grading on a curve, context is context. How wild is it that a year and change after the pandemic began, a game series known for its bio-weapons turns a gothic corner and drops its original moniker? Indeed, RE:Village is also the first not to have “biohazard” on any release title anywhere, regardless of region. In truth, I can’t quite blame the publications - I wouldn’t have noticed if I didn’t sit down to write this tonight.

Would I have boarded that hype train in June if the game had kept its chemical warfare? The Last of Us: Part II, another franchise brought to me by Sony, also had its virus and pandemic in the foreground, and that’s a top ten game for me now given my specific experience with it. But then, Resident Evil is special. The beautifully detailed graphics, endearing character moments, atmospheric pacing, motivated sound design, and confrontational control schemes have all made it stand apart to me as a series. I really have no comparison for how these games have challenged me and made me feel during this time. I’ve watched Chris become a soldier, Claire become a mother, Leon become a hero, and Jill come back from the brink, all while underneath the heavy horrors of a natural environment turned unstoppably hostile. One way or another, I’m glad I met them.

This was the year everything in my life took off in directions that I could no longer follow or keep up with. I can’t describe to you how much I feel like I’ve lost, despite all the incredibly important personal work I have done behind the scenes. I realize now that there are some changes that simply can’t be stopped or unchanged, only survived, endured, and adapted to. It’s taught me that we hardly ever seek change - it seeks us, and we are offered the task to accept it or defend against it. There’s something that feels right about playing these games at this time, of that I’m sure. I find it interesting that, by the time I get to RE:Village, the franchise itself will have changed into something quite different. But with each new game I’ve crossed off my list, RE has earned more and more of my trust as a series that knows all too well how changes come and go. Hopefully I will change right along with it. 

[sternenteile]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by:  @battleshell​  ;  we all care blue, u do, i do, we all do tagging:  holy shit my whole dash because exorbitantly long memes are the BEST. i aint even sarcastic when i say that, i love this kind of shit. u GOTTA do it.

my muse is:  canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [ he is in two fandoms, in fact. he is both a fan-favorite from super mario rpg, the very first in the line of mario rpgs we’ve gotten over the years, and a pretty popular smash bros. request. he even got a mii costume in 4 and a spirit in ultimate as a result of the love. he’s very beloved, to the point that i’d, even as a geno fan myself, deem him a bit overrated. why? b/c where is all the love for all the other smrpg characters!!! they are all good. i love them all. ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ i mean ?? i’ve met and seen many people who have/had crushes on geno so ??????? but i don’t think it’s like. that. ghfskjhgsg??? ]

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ oh yes, he is undeniably very strong, both in personality and in battle. he is often seen as the level-headed straight man of the party in smrpg (which, in the case of my geno, is... semi-applicable LMAO), a star spirit with unwavering bravery and confidence. his in-battle stats are also pretty crazy, favoring geno as a glass cannon and enemy sweeper. he is also the only character in the game to have a move that will insta-kill any enemy besides bosses. well, and exor. idk why exor, but there ya go. needless to say, pretty much everyone in the fandom agrees that geno is a powerful mfer. why wouldn’t a literal, living star be? ]

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. [ as i mentioned before, there is no shortage of him being underrated in the fanbase. i’d even say he’s a little overrated. some people treat smrpg as ‘that game with geno in it’ rather than everything else it has going for it. i love star boye as much as the next gal, but pls appreciate smrpg as a whole. it’s such a vibrant game with a colorful world of characters to love. ]

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. [ he is actually, completely central to the plot. the subtitle of smrpg is legend of the seven stars, which directly relates to geno’s core mission: to find the seven star pieces and restore star road. the rest of the gang had different ambitions, but they all ended up banding together over geno’s objective. one could argue he mostly is the exposition-granter and could be replaced with anyone else, but i feel he’s irreplaceable. smrpg would be so different without him, like it or not. ]

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ i wouldn’t say he is the protagonist, obviously, as that is very much mario’s spot. that being said, he is a pretty obvious deuteragonist for smrpg, given how much the plot revolves around him. he’s relevant to mario, for sure, as well as peach, mallow, and bowser. he’s relevant to many characters beyond them. he represents the fight for everyone’s wishes to be able to come true. he’s, uh... very relevant rofl. ]

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. [ the star spirits are somewhat known in the mario universe as entities capable of granting wishes, kinda like fabled gods with a tinge more evidence and reality to them. geno himself isn’t a known name, not like the seven star spirits of star haven, but his people are decently known. he, however, is not. ]

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ he is basically the epitome of ‘good’ until you overthink star society like i do lol. not all wishes can be granted, what constitutes as a ‘good wish’ is subjective, why some good wishes still can’t be granted anyway, etc. it puts him more towards neutral good with a dash of lawful and an undercurrent of chaotic, given his rebellion against his superiors. ]

How strictly do you follow canon?  —  i mean, it isn’t hard to be strict to mario canon when there isn’t that much of a foundation to work with anyway lol. it’s all rather simplistic until you get into the nitty gritty of it ??? that said, geno is built on a lot of headcanon. like, a lot a lot. star society and its rules for star spirits of his kind, his relationship with rosalina (a matronly figure), his relationship with the seven star spirits, the fleshing-out of his basic personality traits shown in smrpg, etc.? headcanon upon headcanon.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  a star possessing the form of a children’s toy, like toy story but with more cosmic pew-pew. a chill and sassy guy still learning the ways of how earth (and other planets) work on a more intimate level, meaning there will be lots of adorkable moments as this curious one makes discoveries. sometimes attempts to innovate with what he learns to be ‘ahead of the curve’, leading to interesting results. (he likes to sip bubble tea, but replace the tapioca pearls with star bits. good result. mopping a counter-top because it would be ‘more efficient’? not-so-good result, got him lots of stares.) straight outta the 90′s, so be ready some of that rad 90′s slang and know-how from back in the day. (what do u mean they’re bringing back dunkaroos? that’d mean they stOPPED MAKING THEM?!?) very intrigued with new technology, became stuck to his smartphone upon discovering them, fell into the time-sink that is animal videos on youtube. he’s humble and likes to relax, have a good time, and relax w/ the squad. video games, netflix binges, the whole nine yards, he’s gotchu. he is a hell of a fighter and loves to fight, as well. help him push his abilities, and he’ll help you with yours.  likes being a little shit for fun, only to an extent (harmless moments of impishness, not serious, hurtful pranks). has a sense of humor that is easy to tickle, even with stupid dad jokes and classic puns. the brother-friend that will fire lasers at ur enemies for u. likes to play violin. cute. super cutie. v. tiny in his star form. almost five whole feet of sparkly, twinkly fun. likes super soakers.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  despite intrigue to learn more about the world around him, there is only so much that he does know. societal norms are often beyond him, and there are just so, so many earth hobbies he is not aware of. without handing him a bone, it makes him a little more limited than someone who’s more savvy. he is prime slice-of-life material, but that may also make things rather dull in an rp without an extra twist to spice things up. (thankfully, his being a total SNOT sometimes helps with that.) in canon and strictly in canon, geno doesn’t really have much personality, something that this geno has plenty more fleshed out. a good chunk of fandom finds him to be incredibly boring and droll, to which i personally disagree, as there are little things in smrpg that hint towards him having more to explore.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  funnily enough, seeing smash bros. fandom railing on geno fans + hyping him up all at the same time made me revisit smrpg after having only played it as a teenager. i expected geno to be a boring slate of nothing like fandom often portrays him, but i found that i was terribly wrong. with a newfound perspective on him, noting little details that defied my expectations for this li’l guy, i decided to give him a geno whirl and see what kind of expansion i could do with his character. the amount of lore i came up with him and started wondering about piled on and on and on, and i realized that he had so much more potential than what nintendo and square properly tapped into. (some of it is also a matter of being timely, though, meaning later mario materials such as rosalina, star haven, etc.) i wanted to flex out that potential and see how much i could fill this little doll up with, and lo and behold, i rp him today with extensive amounts of development poured into him with love. to put it simply, there was so much untapped potential that i wanted to share with the world, to show geno the love and in-depth exploration that he deserved, to show that he was more than what he was given.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  chattering about mario lore with pals, whether it relates to geno or not, reading, watching shows or videos that remind me of him, learning more about cosmology and the universe we live in (and boy, i’ve learned a lot of neat stuff!), revisiting my childhood (the 90′s) since it’s very geno-appropriate, drawing The Boye, literally anything to do with playing, watching, or doing ANYTHING with smrpg/paper mario 64/smg1&2, and probs a lot more. i’ve got a lot of fuel in me for this guy lol.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ on one hand, of course i hope that i do! on the other hand, i mean... nintendo and square don’t do jack for him, so i think almost anyone can do him more justice than they have, lbr. it’s... not hard... :’) ]

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? [ ok i gotta just copy-paste what blue said in her response because my god, she nailed it: “you know when you have a concept and in your own mind you can see it clearly, without fuzziness or confusion, but you can’t seem to put it clearly into words without it turning into an essay because you need to connect all the other points that’s in the single concept you envisioned? yea.” basically, this but in spades, because i have a huge amount of headcanon and lore that i’ve either not gotten around to writing about yet or am purposefully staving off (wink wink). i have written a lot for him, though! it’s just... comparatively so little to what all i’ve thought up over-time. ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO [ not! often! enough!!! ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO [ all i know is fine dining, breathing, and adorkable starman. ]

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? [ funny enough, i’m pretty damn confident in my portrayal, albeit still very modest. i mean, i am at least confident that i give depth to a character that had so little, and i feel like geno is just... real. (not literally ofc i mean like, he FEELS realistic.) he’s got character perks, character flaws, strengths, weaknesses, personal issues, ongoing obstacles, relatable themes where appropriate, interests, knowledge (or lack thereof), daily routines... i could go on. if nothing else, i at least feel good about trying to make geno feel less like some exposition character and more like a person. considering he wants to achieve personhood that most of his kind never gets to find, it’s oddly poetic lmao. ]

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. [ eehhhhh. i mean, i guess it’s fiiiIIINE, but i often feel like i lack a certain pizzazz, something that’ll keep people interested and intrigued with what i write, giving enough material for them to adequately bounce back. on the same token, i like to babble with my prose, so i often worry about going on and on and on way too much. stale, quantity over quality, substance-less writing is what i fuss over the most. ;; ]

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / SORTA. [ sensitive to empathy and other peoples’ emotions, yes. i’m an insanely empathetic person, and i have a lot of love to give. that said, with only few exceptions, i have a pretty iron-clad skin. sometimes, i daresay it’s to the point that i often misjudge what other people can take, and i feel i can end up being too harsh and forward. that being said, it is also a good thing at times. harsh or not, if i feel a certain way about something, i make that shit known and i make it known as loud as it necessarily should be. i don’t beat around the bush; rather, if i have a beef, i will make that beef known. consequently, if i have love to give, you damn well better be ready to swim in a pool of hearts and your favorite kind of cookie (if applicable). ]

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  as long as it isn’t complaints with lack of substance/reasoning, yes! even if i may not always agree and may take things with a grain of salt, i am insanely receptive to criticism, even over the pickiest things. it’s something i’ve grown used to due to prior rp venues being particularly harsh. i will never throw a fit or act like a child if there is something i could do better with geno. in fact, there always will be! i’m not perfect, and i love to hear about ways i can improve and do better. it’s paramount in a hobby like this.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  LET’S-A FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  sure, i’d love to know! it can make for some neat conversation!! c:

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  that’s a’ight. i’m sure there are things about my geno that won’t resonate with everyone, especially given he’s a very sentimental character for old fogies like me lol. as long as there is no disrespect thrown this way, it’s all good. this stuff is subjective, after all.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  oh, a lot of people really hate geno lol, but i’m guessing this means personal portrayal only. in such a case, i would be curious as to why, admittedly, but i acknowledge that i am not owed anyone’s reasoning. if they really, absolutely hate my geno, then it’s their prerogative, whether they want to give a reason why or not. again, it’s all good unless immaturity and disrespect rears its head. i won’t tolerate that and will ignore any such behavior.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  sure, it happens to the best of us!

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  i’d like to think that i am! i’ve often had people tell me that i’m very nice and mature, but of course, i have no right to say how i come off to other people. that is not in my territory to judge, only theirs. that being said, it’s not easy to upset me or anger me, and i’m more often willing to listen and pal around than not. i’m the living embodiment of (shrug). i am just (shrug).

[gerbiloftriumph]

The Size of Hope

(also on ao3)

Mordon isn't certain what to make of the fairy tale king his goblin friends captured, and King Graham has no idea what to make of the huge and clumsy goblin who keeps running into his path. The two warily team up, but neither one belongs in the goblin kingdom, and some pain runs deeper than either expects.

(Gen canon-expansion fic putting scrapped fragments from the subtitle file back into the game. Full fic warnings: bruising, canon-typical violence, self-hatred, abuse, Goblins Do Not Make Good Friends)

~*~*~

1/5

(1: Seen)

~*~*~

The king wasn’t what Mordon expected.

The picture in the prize-winning book, so proudly displayed on the pedestal in the royal library, showed a skinny old man in a robe with a drooping face and limp hair. The man they’d brought in wasn’t anything like that. He was skinny, yes, but he wasn’t wearing a robe, and his hair wasn’t gray, and he had a sort of energy to him that the king in the story didn’t seem to have. But he did have a shiny hat, and Mordon supposed that was all you needed.

Anyway, it wasn’t like his friends were all that good at playacting their beloved stories. Mordon privately thought their tattered dresses and cracked wooden swords and lopsided hats weren’t worth the effort when compared to the pictures in the books. They couldn’t get the details right half the time. This man was just as bad at playing stories as the rest of them.

Still.

Even if he didn’t match the picture, he still was the human king. And the king in the story had been terrible. Had let the piper lead the rats away and then locked the gates against him and not let him take his reward, and Breaking Promises was the worst thing someone could do. (Well, big promises like rewards of a kingdom. The other goblins insisted that breaking promises about letting Mordon play with them didn’t count.) So they’d locked the king in the deepest cell, in the maximum security basement with that magical unicorn. They’d even whispered if they should chain him up like the unicorn, just to be sure, but the king in the story had been mostly foolish and “finite,” whatever that meant. In the end, they trusted to the locked door. It was a good way to protect themselves from his cruelty and deception. It made the story right.

But Mordon peeked through the bars, sometimes, carefully. When he was sure the king wouldn’t see him. And the king didn’t seem all that dangerous. He paced in circles and he scrubbed his hands through his hair (dark, wavy, not at all like the book, but sort of like the hair Mordon kept hidden under his helmet. That made Mordon happy, like maybe he and the king had something in common, like maybe Mordon was worth something if he shared a trait with someone so important). Mostly, the king curled up on the little mattress clutching his stomach, or the jar he’d put one of the glowing lizards in, or the shiny crown that still glittered even though the king himself looked so grimy. He hummed to himself, or repeated strange rules that Mordon couldn’t follow, or—Mordon’s favorite—whispered familiar stories.

Stories ruled their lives in the goblin kingdom. But Mordon never seemed to fit in them. He was the wrong size for most of the costumes, and while he’d always wanted to play the hero, he was usually cast as the villain. Or, more often, not involved at all but made to go fetch something one of the players needed, or move something a player needed moved, or do absolutely anything except play.

He liked listening to the king tell stories. Even if they were quiet. Even if they were probably just a means to pass those unending hours locked in darkness. They were still famous tales, soft and warm, with edges tousled and earmarked and gentle. He didn’t linger on the violent parts like the goblins liked to, and his human voice was lilting and kind compared to the growls of his friends. Mordon liked to lean against the cell door (he wouldn’t unlock it, wouldn’t come in and sit on the mattress next to the king, no matter how much he wanted to, because that would be dangerous), and forget about the stone armor that chafed his arms, and the bruises from when his friends kicked him, and the tight feeling in his chest whenever he thought too hard about what the human king saw above ground, away from the damp caves.

Maybe the king was weaving a deception now. Some horrible web that would lead to destruction. But Mordon thought maybe the deception was worth it if it stopped him earning another bruise or four for a couple hours.

~*~*~

Sometimes, Graham felt like he was being watched.

He told himself he was being paranoid. He had been kidnapped. By goblins. What did he expect? He glared at the glimmering salamanders lining his cell. It was probably just them, blinking at him in the gloom. Yes, that was it.

…no, that wasn’t it.

There was something in the hall. He was sure of it. He never caught sight of anything, but he could sometimes hear that gentle scrape of stone armor as someone snuck around in the darkness. Once or twice he gripped the cold metal bars of the locked door and craned his neck, trying to see, but…nothing. Whoever it was could stay very still and very quiet when they wanted.

He rubbed the bruise on his hip. He had tripped and fallen when the goblins had dragged him down here, but his hands had been bound behind him then and he hadn’t been able to catch himself. He’d hit the ground hard. The bruise still stung if he put any decent pressure on it, but it was more of a mild annoyance at this point, the edge of the pain softening. Based on that slow easing of pain (time was otherwise meaningless in this relentless dark), he guessed it had been several long days since the capture.

The bruises on his legs and arms were fresh and sharp, though. The goblins were giving him chores to do, making him clear spiderwebs or sweep endless corridors that never got cleaner (because they were made of dirt), or wipe down splintery wooden steps, or feed the terrifying rat kept in the cell next to his. Normally he was left to his own devices while he did their tasks, but they apparently remembered to be afraid of him when it was time to lock his cell door again. They scrupulously shook him down for any weapons or tools that would help him escape. By literally shaking him. They held his legs and flipped him over and rattled him until his pockets emptied out. They riffled through whatever fell and took whatever they thought looked like he shouldn’t have. His collection of bruises kept growing.

His collection of items was growing, too. He thumbed over the little pile of things again, trying to think up some way to use them. All in all, it was a mediocre supply of junk. Scraps of paper torn from books, worn coins that the Merchant would be delighted to take from him, chopsticks too small and pathetic to break the weighty padlocks that held him and his friends in this prison….

There was definitely someone outside the door watching him.

He kept his back to the door, drumming his fingers anxiously along one of the chopsticks. They wouldn’t make a good weapon—obviously, or else the goblins would have taken them during one of the shakedowns—but even a slim metal stick was better than nothing. Should he confront whoever was out there? Or ignore them? They didn’t seem to want to hurt him (or was he just saying that because they hadn’t yet), but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to scare them away either.

Finally, he said, without turning, “I hear you.”

He heard nothing, but it was the nothing of someone trying to stand perfectly still and not breathe.

“Are you watching me?”

Still nothing. Ever so slowly, he turned, holding the chopstick tight in his fist behind his back. He didn’t see anything out in the gloom beyond the locked door, but that meant little in this oppressive darkness.

“I just want to talk.”

He waited, then stepped forward once, stopped, waited. Still nothing, no movement, no goblin or human responded.

“Can you understand me?”

He started to feel like maybe he was losing his mind. There was nothing there in the first place. But…it still seemed…. Slowly, he reached out for the bars with his free hand, the other shifting into a firmer grip on the hidden chopstick.

“I know you’re there.”

He didn’t know. He wasn’t sure at all. It was so still, so silent. He was being silly.

All the tension in his shoulders drained out and he staggered back, leaning against the stone table, staring blearily into nothing. No one responded. Nothing was there.

Nothing shifted, nothing’s armor scraping ever so softly against the tunnel wall.

Nerves shivered down Graham’s spine, but externally he revealed nothing. Didn’t move. Neither did the darker shadows outside the door. If he squinted, Graham thought he might see the dim shapes of something crouched against the wall. He and the goblin stared at each other, eternal minutes slipping past.

Until Graham’s empty stomach, fed only with slimy prison porridge and questionable meat, cramped cruelly. Graham curled forward with a quiet moan and broke eye contact with the shadows. Immediately, something scrambled away, and Graham staggered forward, clutching the cell bars. He watched the goblin flee down the tunnel. Were shadows playing tricks, or did the shape seem…too big? Almost…. His chopstick clattered on the floor, forgotten, as he thought distractedly about stories and secrets. It rolled past his boots into one of the glowing salamanders, which licked it speculatively and chirped.

Graham snapped out of his reverie. “Aaah, Freckles, don’t—you’ll get it all slimy,” he said, retrieving the chopstick. He had an escape to plan, and there wasn’t a point to thinking about sneaking shadows. There were bigger things to worry about.

~*~*~

Graham could smell it first. It smelled damp, but the good, green sort of damp. The kind that smelled like life. Not the caves’ usual decaying reek. He practically floated off his front toes trying to track it, moving as fast as he dared—never running, never. They might not like that.

Above him, hanging around in little cracks and corners and crevices, there were always one or two goblins. They never seemed to pay him attention. They were lounging or dozing, feet kicking aimlessly in the lazy manner of the entirely unconcerned. But they were still there, and they could still take offense to anything he was doing, and they could conceivably drag him back to his cell with those achingly rock-hard hands and their sharp-as-cut-glass spears, and they could stop letting him out again.

No, it wouldn’t do to run in front of them and attract their attention.

As he hurried down this new tunnel (slower, slower, eaaaasy), the warm, stagnant cave air started to break up. He felt a chill across his face, as bracing as getting hit with a snowball. He could hear rain.

Can’t be. We’re miles down.

And yet, when he rounded the corner, there it was. A vast hole high above him, so much higher than the tallest building in town. Rain poured through it. The heavy gray monsoon sky was easily the most fantastic thing he’d ever seen. He gaped at it, breathing deeply, purging the musty cave air for fresh, beautiful Daventry air. His knees wobbled with excitement and jangling nerves, and he took a cautious step forward, searching the cavern, confirming he was alone at least for now.

Home. So, so close—but, as he eyed the surrounding walls with growing frustration, unreachable. Not a single vine or root grew anywhere low enough for him to even dream of reaching. The walls slanted inward. And he was hardly the best freestyle climber. It had only been a few months back that he’d climbed that magic beanstalk and that—well, best not to think about all the near misses that had held, and that had been with sicky sap from the stalk covering his hands and practically gluing him to the leaves.

He could yell for help, but he didn’t know where this pit was located. Hadn’t seen it in the castle’s vicinity, or anywhere near the town. The goblins would be more likely to hear him before a royal guard, and that…he shivered, rubbing his arms, remembering the bite of tight ropes…that wouldn’t be good.

But he couldn’t make himself walk on yet. He sat, knees drawn up to his chest, back pressed against the gentle curve of the cave wall so nothing could sneak up on him, and he watched the distant storm clouds roll across the sky, listening to the rumble of thunder and feeling the cleansing drip of rainwater against his cheeks.

Home.

He wanted to be home.

~*~*~

Surprisingly, Graham did see that shape again. The creature that had been staring at him in his cell. He was certain it was the same one. It moved the same way, and he had the same gut-deep sense that something weird was going on. Weirder than a goblin underground city with a fixation on fairy tales.

He’d seen the goblins fighting each other. Hitting each other, jumping on each other. He was never sure if they were playing or not, but this time it didn’t seem like play. The familiar one crouched low, almost subservient, and yet it still seemed massive. It tagged along behind the other smaller and faster ones, awkward in its stone armor, often getting struck and kicked and yelled at for its trouble.

Graham was supposed to be doing chores, supposed to be cleaning some corridor or other. But he was well out of the main prison paths, sneaking around in places he was certainly not meant to be. Through barricades he’d broken down, through tunnels that felt disused. He pushed himself closer against the wall nervously. If the goblins walking past him turned, he would be spotted. He’d triggered a few lockdowns already by smuggling an array of loose items that could act like, and were in fact used like, weapons to Amaya. But he figured being caught in this area would spark more than just a lockdown. If getting caught yelling for help in that rainy cavern might have landed him in ropes again, that was probably nothing compared to getting caught in these unsupervised and possibly escapable tunnels.

In the end, the risk wasn’t worth it. There wasn’t much to see. They made the large goblin do some meaningless tasks, kicking it if it didn’t move fast enough (and it never moved fast enough). It carried some heavy pipework around, but it got more jeers for the feat, no praise.

Graham frowned—despite everything, despite his own bruises and fear and frustration, he pitied it. It was doing its best. But its best still didn’t seem to be meeting the others’ expectations. And that felt distressingly familiar.

Graham pulled back when they made to leave the area, ducking out of sight. The large goblin tagged along behind the others, darting up narrow cracks in the cavern walls that Graham knew he could never manage to climb on his own. He was left in the gloom and the silence, thoughtful and alone and, for this one moment, safe and unguarded and ready to explore new options. Maybe he had discovered something that would lead home.

[a-mellowtea]

RWBY Issue #1: An Elegy For Continuity

I’ve never been one for comic books. I think I read a couple when I was younger. I seem to recall Spiderman. I did pick up the Bone series at one point and fell in love with it. But beyond that, they never appealed to me. Now that I’m older, however, and finding more of an appreciation for design and storytelling alike, I really want to go back and just smother younger me in superhero and fantasy comics to make up for what I missed.

When I heard that RWBY was making a venture into the comics scene thanks to DC, I honestly got excited. It’s a perfect medium to tell stories that canon may not have been able to cover, and with the promised content being set in the area in-universe -- between Volumes 3 and 4 -- we have the least specific information about, there was no conceivable reason not to be at least interested.

RWBY #1 dropped on August 28th, 2019 under the subtitle “Prelude: The Elegy”. It’s narrated by Ruby Rose, one of the series’ titular characters and arguable ‘main’ protagonist out of the four, and covers in very brief form the Creatures of Grimm, the Huntsmen Academies, the fellow members -- Yang Xiao Long, Blake Belladonna and Weiss Schnee -- of RWBY, the Color Naming Convention/Rule, Dust, Semblances and the Fall of Beacon. It ends with the finale of Volume 3, and Ruby uncertain if they’ll be able to carry on.

The quality of the artwork and layout varies, but overall Mirka Andolfo and Arif Prianto do capture the look and feel of the characters (although, they can’t seem to decide whether Weiss is left-handed or not). Whether or not some of it seems off is an entirely subjective matter. Personally, while I find some panels to be absolutely striking (such as Tai, Yang and Ruby at Summer’s grave, the Volume 1-3 era combat panels, the initial Battle of Beacon Academy page, and the final panel), I also find others to be a bit... lacking (the Volume 4 design splash page especially).

An article by CBR appropriately labeled it an adaptation at a “breakneck pace”, which is honestly an understatement. The elements I mentioned get perhaps a page each, touched on in a manner I can in all seriousness relate to skipping a stone across a pond. Being a fan of the series, for me, that is perfectly fine; I already have as much of a grasp on things like Aura and Dust and the combat Academies as one who has been with the show since the Volume 2/3 hiatus could. On top of that, with Ruby as our narrator and speaking from in-universe, she may not see the need to go into incredible detail. However, someone just delving into RWBY with this as a primer or part of their proper introduction to Volumes 1 or 2 would in all likelihood be left winded by everything that zooms by with so little explanation. These elements are essential to the story and the world of Remnant. They, along with certain key events such as the Battle of Beacon, are the building blocks of the series.

On that front, it certainly doesn’t help anything that canon is shakily incorporated or, at points, firmly and summarily disregarded. See, the issue with RWBY #1 doesn’t lie in the art style or storytelling. Rather, it is with the connective tissue between the comic and its source material.

Most of these instances aren’t egregious oversights but are worth mentioning regardless. For instance, there is a panel in which Penny is shown wearing Beacon’s uniform, though she is from Atlas and was never shown wearing any of the Academy’s uniforms.

In the panel talking about Semblances, Weiss’ Semblance is described as being able to “summon any Grimm she’s slain”. While true, that is a facet of her Semblance, not her power itself. Weiss’ Semblance is Glyphs. She also never summoned before the Battle of Beacon, making the page of her summoning a Grimm circa that time also inaccurate.

In yet another, Ruby mentions rumors about the Maidens and magic. However, the only way she could have known about the Four Maidens before Qrow telling her and RNJR in Volume 4 Chapter 8 was through the fairy tale known as the “Story of the Seasons”. Only the Ozluminati (Ozpin, Qrow, Glynda and James) and Pyrrha knew in full about the truth surrounding the four Maidens. As this is being narrated at the end of Volume 3 (the “now”, as stated in the penultimate panel), Jaune also only knew that Cinder had acquired some sort of power; nothing of magic or the Maidens.

The worst of these errors come at the end of the comic, and are most plainly wrong. Ruby is shown having come back to Patch on foot, whereas she was most certainly entirely unconscious when she was brought back to Patch by Qrow. It is also implied that Ruby returned to help Tai take care of Yang; their conditions of consciousness somewhat perplexingly reversed from canon. 

Furthermore, though it is clearly stated and shown that Jacques was the one to take Weiss home after the events at Beacon, Willow also appears to be present alongside an AK-200.*

And finally, Taiyang is shown in the aforementioned penultimate panel waving goodbye to RNJR as they depart for Mistral.  The issues of this particular change are further-reaching than most of the others; Ruby leaving without a word to her father and sister other than a letter was brought up several times in Volume 4, and was part of what made Yang and Ruby’s reunion in Volume 5 such a good moment.

Some things are also oddly worded (and that’s without mentioning the run-on sentences), leading to unnecessary confusion. For example, at one point, Ruby explains that “Atlas, Vale, Vacuo and Mistral -- every Kingdom in Remnant has their own way of dealing with Grimm. But only the Kingdom of Vale has Beacon, the legendary Academy where my mother and father went to become Huntsmen”. This makes it sound like Beacon is the only Huntsmen Academy in Remnant, and the other Kingdoms have completely separate ways of dealing with the Grimm. I doubt that was the authorial intent; it could be explained away rather easily as Ruby simply stating that none of the other Academies are as good; ie, there is only one Beacon.

There is also another rather odd panel following the aforementioned, in which a young Ruby and Yang stand with Taiyang, their father, and Summer Rose, Ruby’s biological mother. While this family shot is very nice and certainly pulls on a fan’s heartstrings, the composition is strange. If this is meant to be an in-canon moment, rather than a symbolic one, then Ruby and Yang’s ages at the time of Summer’s death are thrown into question yet again. As stated by Yang in Volume 5 Chapter 8, “My mom left me. Ruby’s mom left too. Dad was always busy with school, and Ruby couldn’t even talk yet”. This shot, with Ruby and Yang looking closer to 6 and 8 respectively, contradicts that.

That’s not to say that these errors, numerous as they are, completely ruin the experience of reading the comic. Paired with Mirka Andolfo’s artwork, RWBY #1 presents a decent introduction to RWBY until the end of Volume 3, heading into the timeskip territory. However, being a recap of elements and events already covered in the show, it is sorely lacking and has absolutely no excuse to be. I saw someone mention that it feels like the writer, Marguerite Bennett, skimmed the show’s Wiki or otherwise did the least amount of research possible on the series before writing. I wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment.

At the end of the day, RWBY #1 “Prologue: The Elegy” is a good attempt at summarizing the most basic and key material of Volumes 1-3, but ultimately fails, falls flat and devolves into a mess of inconsistencies, errors and nonsensical changes that fans should not consider being canon whether it has been stated to be in the category of “canon-until-it’s-not” or not.

I do hope they find their footing in the second issue of RWBY, as perhaps original content will provide better space for the story to flow largely unhindered by canonical information.

*Amendment: I originally stated that it was Winter in this panel. I’ve been since informed that that is incorrect. Apologies for the mistake!

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

Four Reasons You Can Pry Cass Out of My Cold Dead Hands

Look, I kept my mouth shut for like three goddamn years of Tumblr.  That’s a lot, for me.  I’m not famous for keeping my mouth shut, so, you know.  Accept that I tried, and even though I failed, An Effort Was Made.  Take that for whatever it’s worth.

Cass is the better spelling.  It’s not just the correct spelling (though it is the correct spelling), it’s the superior choice of spelling, and here is why.

1. The Phonetics Are Good, Not Bad

You may see people point out that in English, single-syllable words with an A in the middle are typically pronounced with a short A sound.  Bat, rad, van, pal.  Cool, true!  This would be a point, except that--

It’s typically NOT true of words that rhyme with, uh, Cass.

Now, there aren’t a ton of those words in English.  One-syllable words with a short A sound and an S at the end are relatively rare!  Which is cool, because we can pretty much look at all of them, ready, here we go:

ass -- bass -- brass -- class -- crass -- gas -- glass -- grass -- lass -- mass -- pass -- sass

What do you notice?

Sure, I’ll give you “gas.”  It’s short for gasoline, and nobody ever bothered to add an extra S to make it match the pattern.  So there you go.

But now take the second S off of every other one of those words. Usually you  get a word that doesn’t exist in English, with the exception of “as” and “bras” (if you’re allowing plurals into the conversation).  But of those two exceptions, now *neither one* rhymes with Cass anymore -- either the consonant sound changes to a Z sound, or the vowel becomes that soft ah instead of a short A.  That’s what Kripke was trying to say when he says he picked the spelling because “Cas might sound like Caz.”  He meant that, reasonably enough, people might be prompted to think of the only other one-syllable word in common use English that matches this pattern, which is ass/as.

But what about the other words?  If you drop the second S and allow people to *guess* how they think the word might be pronounced -- well, who’s to say.  Would you automatically rhyme bas, clas, glas, las, and mas with gas?  Maybe you would.  More likely, in my opinion, your best guess would be to either rhyme them with as, or to pronounce them as the non-English words they are -- bas relief is from a French loan, glas is Irish, las and mas are common Spanish words.  None of them are pronounced with a short A.

So yeah, if you were randomly reading a fantasy novel, as a native English speaker, these are the calculations you’d make about how to pronounce a name: Das would sound more like dahz, I bet, while Dass is definitely dass.  Vas and Vass.  Ras and Rass.  Shas and Shass.  You don’t look at those and pronounce them the same way in your head; not if you’re an English speaker.  You just don’t.  And without the cue of knowing the full name, you wouldn’t for Cas and Cass, either.

2. Cass Is a Human Name, and We Call That Themes

Cass is a real, live name.  People have it.  The majority of them are women, and it’s short for Cassandra, sure, but it’s also a real, live, human male name.  Really!  Here’s a list of people who have that name in real life and fiction alike.  For some  of them, it’s a diminutive of single-S names like Caspar and Casimir. That’s a thing!  Sometimes it’s just a freestanding name; Cass Ballenger the politician just had it as his middle name.  Sometimes it does come from double-S names like Cassian and Cassius.  Regardless, it’s just -- a name that exists.

When you name a fictional character, sometimes you just pick one randomly, but sometimes the name reflects on or points up something thematically.  I have no idea if that was the intention in this case, but even if it was accidentally, something pretty cool happened.  The made-up fantasy-faux-angelic name “Castiel” tends to be used by other angels, particularly ones like Raphael and Naomi who are speaking to him as real or presumptive superiors in a hierarchy.  “Castiel” is the designation he was given out of the gate, when he was made to be God’s enforcer.  “Cass” is the name Dean gave him.  Cass is what his friends call him, and it’s symbolic of his relationship to humanity, which he consistently chooses over his relationship with angels.  When he fell, or jumped ship, or however you’d like to think about it, he was given a human name, which everyone who regards him with even the slightest affection at all now uses.  It’s good!  That’s good!  It’s a good use of a small thing to point up how differently different characters see him, and whether they emphasize his familiarity or his alienness. You lose that if you insist that his name is only an abbreviated form of his given name.  You lose something from the text if you imagine he’s being called Castiel-only-shorter, instead of becoming a real person named Cass.

3. Just Don’t Be A Jerk, People Are Named What They’re Named

This is just, like -- decency?  I know he’s not a real person, but it’s -- rude, right?  You don’t correct the spelling of someone else’s name.  Who does that?  Do you have beef with parents who call their daughter Catherine Katie, because only Catie is acceptable to you?  People are allowed to just do, like, whatever with names, it’s literally fine.  You know what’s not typically a nickname for Dimitri?  MISHA.  But that’s his name, because it just is.

Yeah, it’s fandom.  You can change whatever you like.  You can have whatever opinions you want about how you would have spelled it, if you were Eric Kripke, or Chuck Shurley, or Metatron, or Dean Winchester.  I have opinions about Isaac Lahey’s name in Teen Wolf, because it’s spelled Lahey and pronounced Leahy, and that’s bonkers!  But that is how it’s spelled, and I just -- go on with my life, unharmed.  Castiel isn’t a real person who will have real feelings about however you prefer to spell his name.

But the standard rule for polite society in re: how to spell someone’s name is however they want you to spell it.  Normally not obeying that rule reads as passive-aggressive at best.  Which is how we come to....

4. Fandom Gatekeeping Is Shitty, Actually

The reality behind the fervor with which Cas-people not just defend their choice to use the non-canonical spelling, but regularly flood my goddamn dash with weird, angry screeds about the fact that 100% of the world doesn’t use the non-canonical spelling, is that they are using it as a shibboleth, a marker of who counts and who doesn’t.  Who belongs here and who doesn’t.  I’ve always known this, because I’m clever like that, but recently I’ve seen versions of the Weird, Angry Screed that spell it out directly: people who spell it Cass are either new around here and haven’t learned How We Do It yet, or by choosing not to do it How We Do It, they are signaling their contempt for pro-Castiel fandom.

And honestly I understand that my reaction to this isn’t the typical one.  I know that most people find those little signs and signifiers of who’s Team Us and who’s Team Them Over There to be comforting.  There’s something that people just like about wearing the jersey; it makes them feel safe among others like them.  I get it.

But much as I love fandom, there’s something I have always hated, and always will hate, about that kind of expectation of groupthink within fandom.  I know, rationally, that part of the socialization is that you’re supposed to learn lingo and references and in-jokes -- you’re supposed to join the fandom by speaking like the fandom speaks.  But there’s something, I dunno, almost threatening?  There’s something crazy-making about taking this random, essentially irrelevant detail, and turning it into something that proves if you belong here or not.  At best, maybe you’re “new around here” (which is okay?  It’s fine, actually, to be new in a fandom and not yet realize that you’re supposed to be ignoring eleven seasons of subtitles? Why are you yelling at newbies, please don’t?), but at worst, we know because you won’t make this mental change that we’ve all agreed to make, that actually you’re not just an outsider, but an opponent.  If you weren’t, you’d do what we all do.

It’s the most literal, direct example of fandom gatekeeping.  If you know the secrets of how we speak and what we accept as real and important, then you’re cool and you can stay.  If you don’t know, or you disagree with what we all got together and accepted as real and important, based on -- watching the show? -- then we know to stay away from you because you’re the wrong kind of fan.  Not our kind.  Wearing the bad jersey.

It’s shitty.  It’s mean-spirited.  It’s the worst kind of cliquish fan posturing, casting people with legitimately different approaches to how and why to use, change, or discard canon in their art and conversation as opponents in a dumb, made-up turf war, and it serves to intentionally carve the fan community into narrower slices of self-siloed echo chambers of agreement and validation, rather than requiring people to just -- get cool with the fact that different opinions exist.

Sure, not all people who spell it Cas are like that.  Some of you seem nice.  But man, I see the knives come out all over every time the Cass spelling pops up in canon, because a lot of y’all really take this seriously, beyond just habit and aesthetic preference.  And even when it’s not said out loud, it’s clear to me that it’s not an argument about how the word looks on the page.  It’s clear to me that those who won’t conform don’t belong and aren’t wanted, and people are afraid someone somewhere might not realize they don’t belong and aren’t wanted until they conform.

There was a time in my life when I’d find that really hurtful, honestly.  That time is not now, because I have real problems, and what Supernatural fandom thinks of me really, truly, deeply does not matter to my life.

But it does bother me enough to write all this out, I guess, and I know that’s because I remember a time when I was younger and more isolated and fandom was really a social and emotional home for me, and I still have an idealistic fondness for the idea of a big-tent, non-gatekeepy version of fandom where people can just, like, be cool to each other about things, even things they disagree intensely about.  There are still people in the world who need and deserve that, and it always angries me up a little when I see people deliberately wrecking that version and replacing it with one where fans have to performatively prove that they aren’t on the wrong team through weird little random tics that have to be repeated just-so, just the way you learned them. So I don’t do that, out of love for my imaginary version of fandom where no one’s asked to do that.

So yeah, the combination of those four factors means that I am never, ever, ever going to mend my ways on this topic, which is a privilege I have, as a person with basically nothing invested in anyone in Supernatural fandom.  (I mean, some of y’all seem really nice, but none of my actual friends live here.)  That lack of being invested in the fandom also, I realize, means that I have no social capital to spend, and people are unlikely to give a fuck what I do or why I do it, so all of this has really been -- basically meaningless.  Still, I’m not really good at thinking things and not saying them, although I’m getting slightly better.  Really!  In general!

[firelxdykatara]

do u know any shows similar to miraculous ladybug that I watch while we wait for s4?

ooooh, similar in what way? genre-wise i can think of a few!

W.I.T.C.H. is one of my favorite magical girl shows of all time, and you can find the entire series on youtube! The OP absolutely fucking slaps, and while it’s only two seasons the characters are great and the plots are well-written and developed, and even though my otp never wound up canon i still love rewatching the whole thing! (Also, if you have disney+, send in a request to have WITCH added to the streaming service! it was produced by disney in conjunction with jetix and I’d love to get to watch it in hi-def lmao.)

if you have Hulu, I always recommend the viz redub of Sailor Moon! It’s really good, I love the voices (in fact, Cristina Vee, the voice of Marinette, is also the voice of Rei Hino/Sailor Mars!) and the translations, they avoided a lot of the pitfalls of the original dub and managed to fix some of the unfortunate implications of the original japanese, and I think the dub is up through S so far! And the sub is up completely through Stars if you’re a sub-watcher.

Now, if you don’t mind subs for a really good story, I have to recommend PGSM/Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon. It’s the live-action series that was based on the classic arc of the original anime/manga, and while there’s no official dub for it (I don’t think it’s very common to officially dub live action shows, or at least it wasn’t in the early 00s), it’s very worth it to carve out some time and watch it with subtitles. (Here is a site with all the episodes, including the Special Act.) PGSM goes super hard in terms of character arcs and the overall plot, and while the fight scenes/choreography is super cheesy (unlike with the super sentai shows, they couldn’t just have stunt actors come in for the fight scenes because their faces aren’t covered by masks, so the girls had to do their own fight sequences) and the monsters are very power rangers-esque, it also goes into things like the dichotomy between the girls’ civilian lives and their duties as guardians, how being superheroes impacts their relationships with friends and family, and whether their lives are truly dictated by fate or if they’re able to forge their own paths and avoid the mistakes of the past, and I just cannot recommend it enough.

(Also, if you enjoy the love square, there’s a bit of that going on wrt to Sailor Moon/Tuxedo Mask and Usagi/Mamoru, but it’s not nearly as frustrating to watch [I say that with love--I love the love square but sometimes i’m like JUST REVEAL YOURSELVES ALREADY] because there’s no status quo to keep, so everything works towards building up the plot and the characters and their relationships develop accordingly. And if you loved Chat Blanc and the idea of akumatized Marinette??? There’s some of that here for you too.)

Netflix has like every season of Power Rangers, by the way, if you just want some Found Family Beating Up Monsters Together goodness--Mighty Morphin is the original, and up through i think In Space it’s one continuity, after which each season is its own story, and some are better than others but overall they’re all a pretty good time! My personal favorite of the stand-alone shows are Ninja Storm, SPD, and Mystic Force, though I’ve heard the more recent ones are pretty good too, I just haven’t seen them yet.

Cardcaptors is another favorite of mine, all of which is on youtube! I genuinely love the english dub and don’t think you can really go wrong (the english dub of Clear Card, the sequel series which is up on Hulu, is pretty good, but it’s a different voice cast and you just can’t beat the OG Kero), and it’s a really cute show about a girl collecting magical cards with her very own kwami-like guardian spirit!

Also, if you just want some fun ‘young girls with really cool weapons and powers beat up monsters and sometimes bad guys’ food, I’ve really enjoyed RWBY! (Cristina Vee is in this show too, in the latest season as Robyn Hill) The writing can be hit or miss in places, and some fans seem to either really love everything or really hate everything beyond a certain point, but it’s definitely worth a shot! (The animation in the first few volumes is kinda painful, but it gets much better after volume three, and it’s definitely worth it to push through imo.)

Those are the ones off the top of my head, hope you find something in here you like to keep you occupied!

[endae]

|ashes among us| - Part II

[AO3]

[Part I] [Part II] [Part III] [Part IV]

Sequel to Before the Bridges Burn. Dipper & Mabel. Canon Divergence from Weirdmageddon.

"U'lm qlwe fzpdyultzg polk ahetz. I'mp vqeq czg sbjp fhjw eumf."

It can’t be more than a few hours when he wakes again.

At least, that’s how it feels. There’s the kind of sleep that takes you and keeps you, and the kind that feels more like being dunked in a puddle and left hung out to yearn for submersion. A taste of sleep. And it’s definitely the second.

But feeling less like lead and more like they should, Dipper opens his eyes to a blur that lingers for far less the second time around. Whatever frantic grip it is that held him captive hours ago, it’s left him be. With consciousness, comes the realization that his heart isn’t pounding anymore. Breathing doesn’t hurt. His thoughts are still anything but pacified, but the shift in scenery doesn’t twist them into panicked mantras this time.

It’s ‘I’m still here,’ before it’s ‘not in the hospital anymore,’ and the bite of it only serves to remind him of how hard it was going to be to shake his own convictions.

Carefully, Dipper lifts himself to sit up and take in the surroundings.

The Shack’s living room.

At some point between then and now, they’d taken him home. And at no point at all had he stirred — or if he did, he doesn’t remember. It’s becoming an unsettling pattern. By consequence, the thoughts assault him the instant they have an opening.

‘This isn’t real’ and ‘It’s all a lie,’ stubborn but resilient.

To ward off the paranoia, he takes in everything around him, piece by piece.

There’s a familiar fabric against his skin. Out of instinct, he feels at his chest again. Just as before, still missing his vest, but back in the tee he’s been sporting all summer. Back in his shorts, his socks.

Dipper knows the answer even before his hand combs through his disheveled hair, but he’s never felt more naked without his hat.

There’s the cushion beneath him. Rather than a hospital bed, it’s Stan’s yellow couch. Musty and worn, but in the moment, feeling far more plush than it ever did those Saturday mornings as he marathoned Ghost Harassers.

It’s as the thought passes through his head that he’s peering over at the TV set, which for some reason, is turned on. It’s been muted with a string of subtitles rolling along the bottom of the screen, and the program itself is something too old for him to recognize.

He runs through the checklist in his head.

Dipper studies the the nook, the table to the far right. Atop it, Mabel’s model Shack for their thirteenth birthday party. The fish tank — still growing more algae by the day. The walls are structurally sound, and its blue paper is still peeling beyond repair, but not so much that it looks like it’s weathered an apocalypse.

Nothing a touch out of place. Everything all as it should be.

If anything, he feels the the odd one out in all of it.

Yanked from his daze, Dipper stiffens at the sound of footsteps above his head. More so that they’re getting closer, etching a familiar path in the wood for him to know they’re heading for the stairs. From seemingly nowhere, the nerves leap out from the recesses of his head, intuition telling him to feign sleep before they come down (‘but why?’).

But it’s the way they descend them, light but bounded, for him to know even before she turns the corner that they’re Mabel’s.

It quells the nerves, just a bit.

And sure enough, a splash of pink rounds the corner wall and he blows out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. She’s carrying that knitting box of hers that seems to travel wherever she goes too, a comically large trove that’s somehow able to house her endless supply of yarn.

By chance, she lowers it just enough to stop obscuring her vision, and her eyes light up when they reach his.

“Oh Dipper you’re up!” she exclaims, freezing at the threshold. Even if he can’t see her mouth, there’s a smile in her voice that’s far from hiding. “One sec, let me go put this down first.”

She turns hard on her heel to shuffle into the kitchen, a hurried step in her pace. Out of sight, he hears the telling thud of her knitting box hitting the table. In a heartbeat, she’s back out again, making her way to him.

“Heyyyy,” she starts, propping herself atop the dino skull at the side of the armchair. On her elbows, she leans in, “I was thinking you were out for the night. How you feelin’?”

“...Exactly how you’d expect after crashing out of the sky from an extraterrestrial spacecraft,” he answers, blunt. Dipper reaches back to massage at his shoulder, a raised bump that’s either an inflammation or a stress knot. It’s anyone’s guess at this point. “But yeah. Not too shabby.”

He glances around the room again, like there’s anything left to survey. His mind’s still numb to it all, and the next thought surfaces without much meaning to it.

“Umm...we’re home.”

“Call the presses, your brain isn’t mush,” she blurts. Mabel follows it with a big sigh of relief, but he thinks it’s attributed more to what comes next than it is playing along with her joke. “Yes. We’re home.”

The sound of it alone, comforting. They were home. The hospital, miles and hours behind them, the warmth of a run down house he’s learned to call home. The roof is in one piece, and as he’s learning, so is everything else he was convinced wouldn’t be.

Dipper rubs at his eyes. Maybe not mush, but his whole head still feels like it’s stuffed full of cotton.

“Must be exhausted then. I don’t even remember getting back.”

Mabel snorts. “That’s probably because Grunkle Stan carried you in. That or the ‘maybe-but-we’re-not-sure-yet’ concussion.”

He hopes she’s joking. “How long ago?”

“Let’s see...We took you home around...seven. So a bit ago.”

It means next to nothing, at first. By habit, Dipper raises his hand to check for the watch that isn’t on his wrist anymore. Right. Doctors probably took it off, that is, if it wasn’t destroyed altogether. Mabel picks up on it, and she’s glancing past him to what he imagines is the owl-clock face hanging above the doorway. She squints.

“...Or a lot ago. It’s almost eleven. Huh.”

He nods. Not a huge shock. What is, however, is that’s the first question he wants answered. There’s a torrent of them lighting up his insides, but the mental capacity to prioritize them is fleeting. He goes with the one burning brightest:

“Where’s Great Uncle Ford?”

Mabel puffs her cheeks out, pouting. “Beats me. After he brought you to the hospital, he rushed off again to go deal with whatever it is you two found out in the hills.” A beat. “Not that he really wanted to.”

That answers that, then. The rift. Of course he would.

“And Grunkle Stan?”

“Helping him? Assuming they’re not being butt-faces to each other for once...”

Mabel huffs when she says it, rolling her eyes. But they darken just a tinge, the arms crossed around her chest tucking in a little tighter. Rare are the moments that she lets anything show that isn’t cavity-inducing kindness, but today has been more than just one for surprises.

“Who would've thought: they can’t even look each other in the eye any other day, but the minute either one of us is in trouble, all bets are off. Figures!”

He shares the frustration. But unlike him, Mabel’s temper only lasts a second before she drops it, reverting to her bubbly exterior in a flash.

“Anyway. You’re probably starving right? I’m pretty sure you weren’t gonna eat cold soup off the floor,” she thinks aloud, sliding off the skull and onto the floor. “Stay right there, I’ll make you something.”

“Wait Mabel, I’m—”

Not hungry. Still wrestling with a stomach churning too violently to even think about ingesting a meal, but she’s turning to dart into the kitchen before he has the chance to protest. Defeated, his outstretched hand falls back to his lap, sighing.

Well. Maybe the hunger was clouding his thoughts.

When she disappears around the corner, busied noises start up in the kitchen. The opening and closing of cabinets and drawers, and if he puts it out of mind, he may as well pretend that she’s Stan.

Thinking about either of them only furthers the strain of it all. They’re still at odds, the two of them. If they’re not working together this moment, then they’re doing everything in their power to avoid the other.

But they aren’t here. Stan’s comically the farthest thing from a helicopter parent, and maybe Ford even more so but…he needed a hospital. Needed Ford to carry him in, Stan to carry him out. He was in such bad shape that he needed to be watched.

But they aren’t here.

It stings more than it should.

[Read the rest here on AO3!]

[valkerymillenia]

Omg there's so much I want to talk about in TLJ that I don't even know where to start!

And my ships 😏 hehe I see what the authors are doing.

Red herrings everywhere.

Spoilers ahead.

These are random disjointed fangirlish thoughts on the movie that I have to spill out before I can become coherent again. Bare with me.

THE HUMOUR! So good and yet so well nuanced that it complemented the seriousness of the  movie very well.

GENERAL HUGS and SALT GUY need to be memes. I mean, c’mon guys, you know I’m right.

LEIA USING THE FORCE TO SAVE HERSELF, IN THE VACUUM OF SPACE! My gods, she always had so much potential and it’s good to see some of it finally being expressed. They built Leia up so well in this movie, so much development, I love it but now I’m so afraid of what they’ll do for ep IX without Carrie...

Billie Lourd having way more protagonism! The legacy continues.

WOMEN EVERYWHERE!  As many as the men and in equal posts! Thank you, gods! Also, POC everywhere! YES, THANK YOU!

Rose is freaking adorable and well written, the viewers form an instant connection with her through her sister and she has that innocent and wonder that we haven’t had since New Hope’s Luke.

Though Rose describing Canto Bight made me laugh because it was a perfect echo of Obi-Wan describing Mos Isley... In fact when she described it as an ugly horrifying place filled with the most despicable people, all I could think was ‘girl, you’ve clearly never been to Mos Isley’. Though in the end Canto Bight is more civilized but morally worse than Mos Isley so she’s not wrong.

Still wondering was the message Rey asked Chewie to give Finn...

Shipping wise... They're baiting us with Finn x Rose AND Finn x Poe AND Finn x Rey all at once. Interesting to see the guy being the center of a love tangle for a change. Anyway, they are clearly letting the audience chose how to interpret each relationship.

Now, I’m trying to analyze this without shipper goggles (yet) so...

Poe's body language is all over Finn who seems clueless, Poe just acts so differently around Finn compared to others, hell, he even acts possessive of Finn (the way he examines all of ‘naked and leaking’ Finn, and, his face when he meets Rose and slightly places himself between her and Finn- “Who’s this?”).

Rose kisses Finn but he doesn't kiss back, it's not even shock he just looks confused and more concerned with saving her. In sum- Rose's body language is all over Finn, even more explicitly than Poe (because heteronormativity and all) but once again Finn looks absolutely clueless of what others feel towards him.

The only times Finn's body language and attitude go beyond more than friendship and admiration are when it's related to Rey... Though then she’s the one whose body language only denotes platonic feelings.

I see what's happening- the authors are showing all these options as red herrings under our noses, which often happens in the middle of trilogies, all so the fans won't be able to guess what's coming. Hell, I could almost feel an asexual vibe from Finn and the Rose x Finn kiss echoes the red herring Leia x Luke kiss in ep V so much...

Personally I still ship stormpilot (though not averse to Rose and Poe sharing Finn but that will never happen and still prefer stormpilot), even though I openly admit that it's clear they wanted to show obvious Finn x Rey chemistry and some Finn x Rose (albeit more one-sided).

Moving on...

ALL THE FUCKING REYLO! My poor shipper heart was exploding!

Topless Kylo! Flustered “please-cover-up-that-distracting-bod” Rey! LMAO!

I'm so happy that reylo is a cannon thing now. Sure, it's in a tragic ship sort of way instead of openly romantic, but damn, that back to back battle against the praetorian guard... AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Scarred Kylo! 

Kylo hesitating and refusing to shoot, most likely because Leia was on board the ship...

Rey crying when she touches Kylo and connects to his emotions. 

Official confirmation that Snoke was already manipulating Ben when he was Luke’s apprentice (like what was stated in the novelization of TFA).

Ben turning to the dark because he felt betrayed by Luke (echoing Anakin and the Jedi Council). 

Kylo constantly conflicted and expressing it through anger and obvious emotional vulnerability, even (or even more so) as he becomes “the big baddy”.

Kylo BEGGING to have Rey on his side. And vice-versa.

Kylo killing Snoke, not for power but for Rey, the power was just his ambition and greed bubbling up as Rey denies him.

Pretty sure Kylo will get a redemption arc- I know it doesn't seem like it but the clues are there and I'm a good 90% sure of this, otherwise we'd just have a copy of Anakin's conflict all over again albeit Kylo being more ambiguous and also less determined in about his intentions. Now, if this redemption ends well or not, with love or without it, with grey jedi or otherwise, that is where the mystery lies.

Ok, I admit, Reylo is my otp but objectively in canon I don't know how the ship will end, at this point it can go either way; but imho Kylo will be redeemed somehow. As a writer and someone very much used to deconstructing plots, I can tell that there are enough clues for this, not just in this movie but in the big picture of the whole SW movieverse. 

One thing is for sure- the old dichotomy of jedi and sith as we know it is dead. Luke, Kylo and Yoda give us enough confirmation of this (and admittedly the whole black-white/good-evil extremes thing was getting SO old).

Personally I'm praying with all my might that we get Grey Jedi at last! And that would make both Rey and Kylo’s predictions true- she strays from the light and him from the dark and they meet in a middle term... It would make sense and seems to have been foreshadowed but unfortunately it’s not one of those things I can say I’m certain off. 

Let’s also have in account that the title of the movie is “The Last Jedi” but intended as plural (even here the subtitle was plural) so when Luke says “I will not be the last jedi”, I don’t think he means Rey exclusively.

Kylo was not made for leadership and rule either so I do wonder who will take the reigns of this crumbled government when it’s all said and done.

What else...

POE BEING A HOT-HEADED DAREDEVIL! He had such an aura of competence and poise in TFA but in TLJ we saw so much development, he was so humanized and flawed (but in the best way).

Phasma’s death was... as we say in Portugal “soube-me a pouco”, aka it felt lacking. Don’t get me wrong, it was epic, but they made such a huge deal of her in PR and marketing (especially in TFA) that it feels like she had a bigger role that got edited out in post-production. The fight with Finn was perfect and excellent for his growth but it felt like we needed more on Phasma to make it more meaningful.

HOLDO’S KAMIKAZE MOVE! Goddamn, I had mixed feelings about her through the whole movie but, although I usually dislike the kamikaze martyr trope, at that moment I just adored her. I feel like we could have gotten a bit more personal with her but either way it was tragically perfect.

Luke’s death felt unnecessary. Again, don’t get me wrong- I was afraid I’d hate it but it was a good death, an appropriate and meaningful one; however, it felt anti-climatic and unnecessary in the progression and pacing of the story itself. Perhaps if framed differently... Either way, the only way the manner of his death can be justified to me is if he has an important role (big or small, whatever, but meaningful) as a Force Ghost in ep IX.

Kinda wish we'd have a Luke-Anaking force ghost reunion; the two of them guiding Leia and Rey and even Kylo... But that's just wishful thinking.

The sweet moment between Leia and Luke broke me, I wanted to cry. They deserved so much more time together, hell, WE deserved to see so much more interaction between them as close siblings.

The almost imperceptive glance we get of the Jedi books safely stored in the Falcon! Begging the questions- who and why?

I wanted more Chewie and definitely more Maz! I really, really, REALLY want more Maz as a sassier modern version of Yoda.

Speaking of- loved the Yoda cameo- Mr ‘if you don’t have the balls then I’ll do for you’.

I get a feeling we’ll be seeing DJ again... But, honestly, so many new characters and they COULDN’T BRING BACK LANDO FUCKING CALRISSIAN?!

Please tell me Rey will build her own lightsaber now! And make it a lightsaber pike, it fits her much better than than the Skywalker saber. 

Liked Rey’s parentage reveal, honestly so much better than having her conveniently be the heir of a pre-existing character. Also gives her tragic past much more intensity.

Porgs were cute but screw them, the Vulptex’s were soooooo much better.

I’m conflicted about Snoke’s death... It was brilliant but at the same time it wasn’t as impactful as it could be if his role had been more pronounced in TFA. Still, very good though.

Best of all- HUX BEING TOSSED AROUND LIKE A DOLL. Deflates his ego beautifully. And when Kylo gives the “shoot with all you got” order when Luke pops up and Hux repeats the order word by word but louder to the troops and Kylo just gives him that ‘bitch, I just said that’ face... Priceless.

I loved BB-8 before but now I ADORE HIM! In Poe’s ship trying to fix the circuit board and then just goes “fuck it” and smashes into the whole thing. xD “Finn, wet, leaking” ! And taking out the prison guards! And piloting a damn AT-AT alone to shoot troopers! He’s so fucking smart and resourceful and just as much a daredevil as Poe, not to mention cute AF! 

BB-9E was interesting we didn’t get much more from him than appearance so BB-8 FTW!

Give me BB-8 merch. All the BB-8 merch!  Pillows, plushies, the drone! I’m in love with all things BB-8!

But when it comes to droids, I wanted more from R2, he felt neglected. Though that move of showing the old recording of young Leia’s distress message to push Luke really was genius.

Wondering if the little boy at the end is force sensitive or if he (or other kids) will have any role in the Resistance, there was a lot of foreshadowing there.

OMG the movie was just sooooo good! The spoilers terrified me but it was so good, for a mid-trilogy movie it was just right. Let’s hope IX lives up to it.

Finally, one last question- WHY IS NOBODY ASKING WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OTHER HANDFUL OF PADAWANS (KNIGHTS OF REN) THAT LEFT WITH BEN??????

I got up and practically saluted when the “in memory of” showed up. It got me in tears.

Ok, end of rambles... for now. 

[theunofficialchurchofsatan]

“A Clockwork Messiah” (Essay by High Preist Peter H Gilmore)

Mel Gibson’s film, “The Passion of The Christ” is a rather tedious exercise in graphic brutality and strained reaction shots, with a generous dollop of anti-Semitism and a soupçon of anti-paganism thrown in for good measure. In a clever fusion, Gibson melds the aesthetic sensibility of the plague-ridden late Middle Ages with the over-the-top mayhem of a contemporary shoot-’em-up video game to craft an ultra-violent “religious” film fit for today’s box office.

His Satan, an omnipresent, androgynous, deep-voiced figure wrapped in a cloak, is perhaps inspired by medieval depictions of “death triumphant”: a sexless, worm-riddled avatar of corruption. Satan at one point parodies images of the Madonna and Child by hefting a bloated demonic infant. It certainly suits the aesthetic choices made by the director, but is not congruent with our symbol of Satan as heroic individualist.

It seems pretentious to have the actors speak in Latin and Aramaic, but it’s all part of the director’s attempt to create a “you are there” sensibility in the viewer’s mind. In fact, the gospels which served as the source for this tale were crafted long after the time of the alleged events by people who could not have been present. Gibson is trying to sell the audience a myth by presenting it as if it were as authentic as a historically-accurate recreation of a Civil War battle. Additionally, the dialogue is often not even subtitled, particularly when Yeshua is being abused by the Romans, so those unfamiliar with Latin will miss the precise meaning of the epithets being showered upon the bruised Nazarene. Translating Latin curse words is a no-no; rubbing your nose in graphic violence is A-OK!

Gibson is trying to sell the audience a myth by presenting it as a historically-accurate recreation

of a Civil War battle.”

Like the Dark Age passion plays, the film focuses solely on the beating and crucifixion of Yeshua, and Gibson wastes no time in presenting the culprits. With a full-moonlit night to set a horror film context, Judas goes to the Sanhedrin and betrays his mentor for the traditional 30 pieces of silver. The Hebrew priests are depicted as heavyset, overdressed, and utterly dedicated to the murder of Yeshua, whom they consider a rival to their spiritual authority. They send their military lackeys, also Jews, to “begin the beguine” by putting a beating on Yeshua and his hippie-like followers in the garden of Gethsemane.

Contrast this image with the later depiction of the pragmatic figure of Pontius Pilate, the Roman governor of this far-flung cesspit of a province filled with religious maniacs. He does not see why Yeshua should be killed, and only orders the already-battered and obviously meshuggah fellow to be flogged in hopes of appeasing the bloodthirsty Jewish ruling class. Now do you wonder why some folks might contend that this film has a certain slant?

Of course, the fellows who administer the punishment are a bunch of rowdy pagan brutes, dull-witted frat-boy-turned-corrections-officer types, who go too far. Here follows the most brutal whipping ever filmed. Yeshua, rather buff for a desert-dwelling prophet, is first caned until he is beaten down, his back deeply marked in the closely-depicted process. But he stands again, which prompts the sadistic Romans to choose more damaging implements, to wit, leather-thonged flails woven with metal beads. These are used with utmost effort and we are treated to close-up views of gobbets of flesh being torn from Yeshua’s body. He is nearly beaten to death, finally lying on the cobblestones in a literal sea of blood, and Greg Cannom—who is known for having done make-up effects for horror films—has wrought a body suit that lovingly details the ribs showing through the flayed flesh. Splatter fans may find this of interest. It certainly goes way beyond anything that could remotely be considered erotic sado-masochism into the realm of disgusting atrocity.

You all know the rest of the tale, but Gibson has added some personal touches.

Perhaps [Judas] should be considered the patron saint

of thankless tasks?”

We are treated to a number of flashbacks, one of which depicts Yeshua the carpenter as having crafted a table which is too tall for local traditions. When his mother remarks upon it, he says he’ll make chairs to match. So, not only is he the Messiah, but he’s a brilliant innovator of furniture design! I wonder if that bit was in one of the non-canonical gospels?

When Yeshua stumbles the second time on the way to his place of execution, his mother recalls in flashback a scene wherein little toddler Yeshua falls and she rushes to comfort him. Not particularly subtle.

We need not deal in detail with the inherent contradictions in the tale. However, it is interesting to note that, as shown in this film, Yeshua knows at the “final nosh” that he is going to be executed (as his deity-father wills), and he knows that Judas will betray him to set the deal in motion. But then Yeshua seems angered at Judas who is only doing what his God has ordained him to do. You’d think Judas, who supposedly loved and revered his mentor and thus felt great pain at being the one who had to do this, might actually be considered a hero by Christians for having to be placed in such a painful situation that he is driven to suicide. Perhaps he should be considered the patron saint of thankless tasks? Such an odd cult is Christianity.

Also of interest is the scene wherein the two criminals crucified along with Yeshua express their take on the situation. One believes in him as a holy man, the other challenges this dying Messiah to exercise his powers to get them the hell out of there. The doubter is punished when a raven arrives and pecks his eye out. Seems a tad bitchy of God, wouldn’t you say? The Romans who savaged Yeshua are unscathed, while somebody under great personal duress who presents a verbal challenge gets mutilated. Anyone else think this is a strange hierarchy of values? And of course, the Almighty lets his son be abused and saves the vengeful earthquake as an after-death climactic scattershot retribution. Poor timing? Why wreak havoc upon those who are doing what you wanted them to do, Jew and pagan alike? Seeking sense in this myth system has been fruitless for millennia.

When Longinus’ spear pierces the side of Yeshua to make certain he is dead, it releases such a fountain of blood and body fluids, that one must recall “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” to find a similarly overdone gout. Several people ecstatically bathe under this torrent; the director celebrates this revolting behavior.

The penultimate pieta image of Mary embracing the shattered body of her dead son was one of defeat and resignation. Indeed, that is a human touch, and would be the natural reaction to witnessing such events. There was no triumph and resistance and looking ahead to resurrection—only pain, degradation, and intense suffering. And since the director clearly blames this death on the Jewish community leaders, it wouldn’t surprise me that Christians who hold this myth dear might find such imagery spawning vengeful feelings toward those depicted as being responsible—as they also forget that their own deity is supposedly the ultimate author of the scenario. We all know that throughout history, Christianity, when linked up with the state, did turn implements of torture, similar to those used on Yeshua in this film, against anyone who would not buy into their sick faith, as well as against those “heretics” prone to hair-splitting of doctrine and dogma. They’ve had plenty of “tit-for-tat” over the past two thousand years, so one might reasonably expect they should now be sated.

This film takes abuse, torture and execution to pornographic excess and it is not suitable for viewing by children. If a film depicted any other individual—fictional or otherwise—being put through such a harrowing experience, I would think it likely that it would have been rated X, or banned outright as being obscene, perhaps even if it had been Hitler cast as the victim. That such generally objectionable imagery can be made palatable to a broad audience by placing it in a religious context is food for thought.

With that in mind, I could speculate that innovative pornographers might find this to be the time to introduce a new Messiah. A “spiritual” young lady (“hot” by contemporary standards, with her legal age statement properly on file), a true daughter of God, receives a vision that Mankind is so sinful that the death of Yeshua just wasn’t enough. She claims that God has inspired her to subject herself to the ultimate degradation of the world’s biggest “gang-bang,” so that Mankind’s multitudinous sins will be expiated through her selfless act as a receptacle for the jism of thousands of “fallen” men. They too will be saved through contact with this prostitute-paraclete. If such were realized with enough piety, perhaps in time this myth could be the foundation for a new religion? Is it any less ridiculous or obscene than what Gibson has portrayed?

It seems that many are forgetting that the imagery of Gibson’s film has been previously approached with the same glee. Recall the sequence in Kubrick’s “A Clockwork Orange” wherein violent delinquent Alexander De Lodge finally reads the “Holy Scriptures” while incarcerated and imagines himself as a Roman, lustily flogging Yeshua on the way to Golgotha. Gibson has made little Alex’s wet-dream into a feature-length snore/gore fest. Perhaps one day, this director—much as another one who uses savior images but casts extraterrestrials in such roles—will feel the need to retouch his work. He might see that he gave torture too much of the center stage, and so he will create a revised “special edition.” In this, the brief image of resurrection will be extended into a view of Yeshua and the believer-thief entering into a brightly-lit heavenly kingdom, thronged with angels, much as Spielberg’s Paul Neary entered the mother ship in the revamped “CE3K.” Or perhaps the impulses that fueled “Braveheart” will come to fore and he’ll depict the risen Yeshua harrowing Hell in a flashy action sequence.

Your present humble narrator leaves you now with the proposal that this dull work is indeed an embodiment of the essence of Christianity. Witness the concentration on pain and suffering as the central value, joined with the idea of a father-deity torturing his child to death and this being celebrated as a positive image. We Satanists find it accurate to the spirit of Saul of Tarsus (aka “Saint Paul”), the true creator of Christianity, and we reject all of this as a vile creed, unfit for anyone who loves life and seeks joy in the world. I’ve always thought it a perversion to link the word “passion” to these mythical events of hideous torture, and this film has more than confirmed my opinion, as well as my wariness of those who do feel that this is a proper use for the word. Such twisted folk cannot be trusted.