#it doesnt fucking make any S E N S E.

[autumnalhalcyon]

it just fucking sucks bc this is like legitimately, without any exaggeration the one superior ive ever had in any environment ive ever been in that has ever legitimately earned my fucking undying respect and loyalty

and he gets driven out by homophobes while the company watches on, chides him for not giving a full two weeks notice, and does nothing to punish said homophobes

[mercysoncall]

placed bronze 1 in tank on my alt account

i’m ready to rip the legs off of every single blizzard employee and beat them to death with their own limbs

[oniikabuto]

one bed!

-- sfw --

characters: kyle broflovski, kenny mccormick, stan marsh, eric cartman

a/n: i did this for a different fandom like a year ago. i love the one bed trope i just had to write a new one for south park....,,, lmk if you want part 2

notes: fluff yayyy; gn reader; characters have a fat crush on you live laugh mutual pining;

guys requests are very much open rigjt now pleasseeeekksflkdfnkjs

— ⛧ k. broflovski

sweetest guy. he doesn't want to take your bed, but you insist.

he also hangs his jacket on the door and keeps his hat neatly on your desk... which is kinda funny and cute that he tries so hard to be neat

freezes up and goes red when you slide into the bed next to him. poor boy is about to melt.

"dude why are you so sweaty are you okay"

"huh- what? yeah, yeah it's cool i'm fine it's..,,,,,,,"

wakes up with a puddle of drool and a wet cheek. he panics and wipes his face and looks over to see if you're awake. you pretend you aren't for kyle's sake. he's so cute.

his nose also does that stupid whistley thing it's so funny

a relatively still sleeper. he just kinda curls up and.. sleeps. sometimes he murmurs something in his sleep.

"cartman.. shut up..",

"what?", you murmur groggily.

"no"

"kyle??? are you awake??"

(no response)

genuinely cannot remember any of that when he wakes up.

— ⛧ k. mccormick

it's like 1am and you turn off the movie as the credits roll.

when you look over at kenny, he looks like a baby that had just woken up.

"dude, what time is it..", he murmurs.

"um.. late." you definitely did not mean to have him over for so long.

"do you wanna go home, or like.. stay with me?"

kenny perks up immediately when you offer to let him spend the night. huge, shit-eating grin spread across his face.

"dumbass", you laugh. but you kinda wanted him over, too.

he sits in your room and pokes at all of your plushies while he waits for you to go get a change of clothes for him. ("no way you're sleeping in that eyesore of a parka!")

almost faints when you change your shirt in front of him

youre the only person that can fluster him like that.

sleeps curled up like a little car

(I MEANT TO TYPE CAT BUT THATS REALLY FUCKING FUNNY)

makes funny noises

like when a dog is sleeping

you'll wake up with his face in your chest and he'll swear it was an accident. it was not

— ⛧ s. marsh

you were at your desk doing homework and stan was on your bed on his phone, both doing your own thing as music played from your speaker.

it's not until that last math problem that you realize it's late. really, really late. you look over at stan, and he's face-down dead asleep on your bed, phone still in one hand.

you don't want to wake him up and tell him to go home, so instead you take his hat off and leave it on your bedpost.

he's splayed across the bed right in the middle.

how?? are you supposed to move him???

after a moment of deliberation, you hold your breath and roll him over, praying he doesn't wake up.

he does obviously

"ow..???? y/n??"

"shit. sorry. it's late, just go back to sleep. you can walk home tomorrow morning."

"wha- okay"

he's too tired to object

plus he secretly loves being in your bed. it smells like you

snores and breathes kinda funny once in a while

no matter how still he looks when you get into the bed with him, somehow you wake up with his limbs sprawled out like a spider.

in the morning, his leg is on top of you and his hand is on your face.

— ⛧ e. cartman

actually such a bitch about staying over

he definitely tried to distract you so that he would HAVE to spending the night

he just loves spending time with you but he doesnt wanna ask :(

"but the couch will make my back stiff! i'll be soo sore in the morning!"

"just say you want to sleep in my room with me, cartman."

"whaat?? if you insist, i guess!"

makes himself absolutely at home. if you want to sleep in your own bed, you'll have to sleep on top of him or touching him.

he definitely does that on purpose

as much as it pains you to admit it, cartman is actually like really really comfortable.

even if he's squishing you to death

and he claims he has no idea he does that in his sleep

smells like a dove soap bar or like. baby shampoo and its actually really nice

snores like a monster truck engine

leaves his shit all over the floor but also offers to help clean up to impress you

(he cant clean for shit but at least he tried??)

[aspenthewriter]

I don’t remember who the request was by but NSFW HC’s FOR VENEER

AGED UP‼️🔞

Fandom: Trolls 3/Band together

Warnings: nsfw, nsfw alphabet- that’s… that’s it-

Pairing: Veneer x Fem! Reader

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He's so gentle, he treats like a porcelain doll, he makes sure you're cleaned up, you're hydrated and fed.

If your shaking or your body hurts after, he's going to internally freak out but still make sure you calm down a bit. After that he’ll do the exact same things i mentioned before

He makes sure you're comfortable before he gives you any form of kisses and cuddles.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves your hands, he loves holding them, kissing them, loves it when you stroke his cock with them, etc.

He loves his mouth… he can do so much stuff with his mouth.. Kiss you, eat you out, etc, etc.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He’ll cum on your stomach, your tongue, your face, in you, on your ass, anywhere tbh- he loves how you look covered in it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He secretly likes it when you walk in on him jacking off… he just loves the look on your face when you see how pent up he is.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Veneer probably watched so much porn ,while he was going through puberty, that he knows exactly what he's doing- he doesn't have any experience exactly but he knows exactly how to please you.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Anyone where he can see your face, missionary, cowgirl, mating press, are his favorites

Oh he loves it when your tits bounce in his face while you ride him into oblivion.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

His mind is probably so foggy and flooded with images of you that he can't think straight- but the time where he can speak or think of anything then hes very goofy.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Trimmed. He doesnt mind having hair down there, but he’d rather it be trimmed and maintained than it being all over the place.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He wont go as far as velvet but he will play music in the background, he’s pretty romantic at the beginning.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Once in a while he’ll masturbate/jack off- don’t know what else to put for this tbh-

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He's definitely into bondage

he loves seeing you tied up ready to take him

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He’ll do it ANYWHERE- and i mean anywhere

Kitchen counter, vanity, desk, bedroom, bathroom, storage closet, ANYWHEREEEEE

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

If your wearing a tight fitted (short) skirt and you bend over in front of him, and your panties are slightly showing…. He’s hard immediately.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

he’ll never hurt you, the thought of hurting you just makes her head spin (not in a good way)

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves giving it but also loves receiving it

He loves the taste of your arousal, ‘s so sweet.

He loves, loves, loves the look in your eyes as you suck on his cock and take him so deep into your throat.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He’s normal more gentle and slow

Unless your being a brat then he’s fucking the attitude right out of you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

he only likes quickies if they’re before a show, he probably started thinking of little scenarios while getting ready and a really nasty one popped in his mind so now he has to put those fantasies into reality.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’s risky asf!

He will fuck you behind a building, in an empty office room, in the kitchen, etc.

As long as they’re risky.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he can last a whileeeee

10 round max (like an hour each round)

Really depends how long you can last

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Maybe like… a couple of vibrators that he can only control from his phone

He'll turn them on when he knows your wearing them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he’ll be so unfair

he’ll edge you on until your practically begging for him to touch you

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Whimpers and low groans but thats it

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He’ll fuck you before an interview and then tell you to meet him in his dressing room after the interview for round 2.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

A good 7 inches, it gets quite thick towards the middle, and a pointier tip (not like sharp but slimmer tip).

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?

Like medium-high? Its not too high but enough for you to fuck every other day.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He makes sure you’re taken care of (washed up, comfortable, hydrated, eaten, all that good stuff) before he goes to bed

Usually falls asleep first

THIS WAS SO RUSHED OML-

I’m finally posting again :D

[tyunn1ngz]

soobin nsfw alphabet

cw: as ambigious as i could but could come off as afab!reader in some sections! no gender stated as always<3

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

clingy!!!!! making sure ur alright, that nothing hurts, have u peed yet dont get urself an infection, do u need food or some water, u just want cuddles oh ok he can do that!!!!!!! its endearing despite overwhelming how much he cares :]

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

his hands and ur wrists/neck and these go pretty hand in hand bc his obsession with both starts bc of how his hands look wrapped around different parts of u >_> !! becomes especially obsessed with how easily he can wrap his long fingers around ur wrists (although hes entirely too gentle everytime he does it in ur opinion) !

if u have tits he’d also be a very big fan of them!

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

another one who cums a Lot. loves cumming inside u so much dont make him pull out </3 he will of course but u could b filled w his babies cmon :< even if u can’t get pregnant he will be acting like u can and it makes him so nasty

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

RLY adores cumming in u and then clean it all up w his mouth, might feed it to u sometimes too, tongues tangled up w ur mingling tastes :p

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

a little but everytime u would think its his first time, and he knows what he’s doing up until pleasure makes him stupid, and his most feral instincts take over :3c

f = favourite position (this goes without saying)

pretty standard w missionary, likes seeing ur face especially when he wraps his fingers around ur throat. if u have boobies hes also a fan of u riding him just so theyre in his face and he can have his mouth on them the whole time. even if u dont hes gonna b sucking and licking at ur chest w reckless abandon tbh he doesnt care . shrugs

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

hes more serious but not too intense, its typically light hearted bc its just him rly caring for u ! <3

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

generally well kept hes a manscaper or whatever but hes not that hairy to begin w. random but i want him to have heart pubes idk ฅ/ᐠ. ̫ .ᐟ\ฅ

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

very!!!!!! intimate!!!!!!! even when he’s rough this man is fucking u like he loves u (which granted, he does) holding u close while he rearranges ur insides and tells u ur the prettiest person hes ever seen .. sighs dreamily

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

if he cant be w u hes absolutely jerking off all the time and he loves it just as much as sex itself tbh. huge perv he cant help that his mind is always in dirty places and making his cock hard. who doesnt love jerking off sometimes ! hes real for that idgaf !

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

breeding or pretty much anything to do with cumplay at all. overstimulation and edging probably big ones for him too!!! both giving and receiving ;3c

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

besides ur bedroom, the couch bc it means u can ride him, and the shower; despite how inconvenient and slippery it might get sometimes ＿|￣|○

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

literally anything and everything u do will get him going. smth spills from ur mouth when u take a drink, hes hard. he gets even a tiny glimpse of under ur shirt, hes hard. he even remotely thinks abt kissing u a little deeper than whats usually chaste and hes hard. u name it, he’ll find some way to divert it in his mind to some perverse memory or fantasy

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

just nothing taboo, otherwise i don’t actually know what i’d say his turns off are … :S nothing to draw blood either

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

not any particular preference— he loves using his tongue on u as much as he loves having his cock in ur mouth, so u ask him and he’ll probably just end up shrugging and tell u that he’d love both at the same time if u would ever 69 w him<3 although he does like seeing u struggle to take his big cock w tears in ur eyes, so maybe sometimes he leans a little one way than the other ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ ！

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

slow to start with so u can get used to the stretch of taking him, hes so big after all :((( soothing u with a shaky ‘is it too much, baby?’ before he fucks the absolute lights out of u when u give him the go ahead x_x

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

loves a quickie bc he loves getting off like i have said a few times now ! obviously loves it more when he has time to savour and rly enjoy himself w u but he loves it all the same that he gets to giggle w u while u breathlessly do smth so dirty ✌︎('ω'✌︎ )

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

yes and yes! risky to him sometimes is hotter and therefore best! ready to get caught by any of his members at anytime im afraid … poor guys … kinda …

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

lasts a long time but its bc he tries and wants u to cum first, otherwise he’d blow his load so fast. edges himself if he really thinks hes abt to give in to his high. will go for as many rounds as u want and can handle bc again, always managing to make himself hard around u so !

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

BIG fan of his fleshlight !!!! probably doesn’t own anything much else in terms of sex toys outside of that but thats all he probably needs anyway !!! jerking himself off w it when ur away, or fucking into it while u watch and say such dirty things to each other hnnnffff :(((((( ‘wish this was you, sweetheart. don’t you?’

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

a crazy amount, but he makes it worth it bc u always get what u want in the end anyway, why not let him have a little fun w it? ur just so pretty when u beg a little <3

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

louddd whimpers and the prettiest moans, and he practically hiccups when he gasps, he sounds sooooo pretty</3 tries his hardest to keep his volume down but u moan and it’s practically like a response the way he can’t help it :<

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

wants (needs) to be pegged/topped at least once in his lifetime but has no idea how to ask for it which is crazy bc of how nasty he already is in bed. if u wanna bottom just say that, king! u have the ass for throwing it back!

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

ive seen the dick print tweets he is HUNG. end of talk thank u

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

do i need to comment on this one or have we gotten the message yet … say hi hi hi hi 안녕하고 말할 만큼

take me high high high high 나를 좀 더 데려가 줘

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

not so much tired as he is just satiated? ,,,so he’ll be pretty dozy but loves to chat w u after the fact. or at least he likes listening to you talk yk? he’ll give u hums of acknowledgment while u run ur hands thru his hair and pretty soon u’ll have him snoring away against ur chest lol<3

[citr0us]

NSFW ALPHABET - HAMZAH

Summary: alphabet headcanons about what sex is like with hamzah

!warnings: smut

A - Aftercare (what they are like after sex)

he would be very sweet with you after the sex checking you out and asking with you're okay. Yall would talk about it, and he would do any favor for you (he would get water for you or if you want just cuddle)

B- body part (their fav body parts of theirs partner)

Hamzah loveeesss your whole body, but hes favorite parts is your curves, he loves putting his hand in your body and of course your fucking tits and thighs, he loves just to squeeze them.

C - Cum (where he likes to cum)

Hamzah cums everywhere, girl. in your stomach, face, thighs. He kinda loves when him cums inside you

D - Dirty Secret

He lovee taking pictures of you, and sometimes record when yall have sex.

E - Experince (how experienced are they? Do they know what they are doing)

Hamzah has at least 4-5 bodies before you. He definitely knows what he is doing to make you feel good

F - Favorite Position (self explanatory)

Cowboy: He loveesss seeing you on top of him, watching your tits bounce in front of him, is like hes hypnotized

G- Goofy (are they serious in the moment? )

He is superrr serious at the moment, he is focus on making you feel good

H - Hair (if they have a lot of hair or little? is shaved?)

he's not full shaved (idk)

I - intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He can be very sweet and slow. he likes to make you feel special, taking his time with you and making you feel good.

J - Jack Off (masturbation hc)

he doesn't need to masturbate since he has you. If you travel for a while, and yall are not together, he would become needy, because he would forget how to touch himself.

K - Kink (pretty self explanatory)

he usually on controll so loves when you can be the dominated one. you bossing him around and telling him what to do.

he loveesss that

L - Location (favorite places to do)

in the bedroom, kitchen, in the bathroom... Anywhere in his house

M - Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

When you moan, and when you keep saying his name during it, it motivates him to continue

N - No (something that they wouldn’t do)

I really dont know what he wouldn’t do.

O - Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Hamzah is a fucking munch, he loves eating you out.

P - pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Hamzah is supeeer into rough sex, hearing your moans and saying ''cmon baby you can take more''

He can be very pasionate and slow too, holding your hand..

Q - quickie (their opinions on quickie)

He loves to take his time, he would go for quickies if he really doesnt have time later, or if yall need to be somewhere

R - risk (do they take risks?)

Hamzah wouldn’t take that much of a risk, but he wouldn't say no if it happened. Like when he fucks you from behind in the bathroom at a party

S- stamina (how many rounds can they go for?)

Hamzah could go for 3-4 rounds, but he needs to have some time.

T- toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Hamzah don't own any toys, but if you have he would like to test on you.

I feel he wouldn’t like using toys on you, because he would like his mouth, his hand, and his dick to pleasure you

U- unfair (how much they like to tease)

Hamzah would tease you all the timeeee.

with his tip in your clit or by saying you dirty things

V- volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc)

he isn't too loud, just little groans and moans

W- wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Hamzah loves when you give him a head while he is playing games.

He loves seeing his cum in your face

x- x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He gives 6-7 iches vibes (bye)

and this probably thick too

y- yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He is always horny, he always want you

z- zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He is exhausted afterwards he would want to sleep very soon

[lonigiri]

wonbin nsfw alphabet?

a=aftercare: honestly, he doesnt do much, you do more for him then he does for you. you two cuddle afterwards but thats really it

b=body part: on you, your waist, god he loves your waist, his hands are always on it, always has an arm wrapped around it. whenever you're riding him his hands are always on your waist. on him, he likes his fingers, he loves to play guitar and his fingers are so strong from playing guitar, loves prodding at that spongey spot in your walls, his fingers so skilled at making you feel amazing.

c=cum: he loves to cum on your stomach, loves painting your pretty body with his cum (he ends up licking it all up)

d=dirty secret: whenever your out of the house and he gets needy he takes ur panties that you wore the most recent and fucks his fist using them 🤭

e=expirence: i'd say before you he probably had like 3-5 partners, but with them he didnt really do much but vanilla missionary sex with them. he knew how to please a girl before you but you taught him how to please you specifically he hes a fast learner yall 😏

f=favorite position: loves when you're on top of him !!

g=goofy: i'd say hes pretty funny, but he can be serious if he wants to be

h=hair: hes 100% shaved down, i wouldnt be suprised if he got waxed regularly

i=intimacy: can be intimate if its like a special occasion but he is more comfortable being a little sillier

j=jack off: even tho yall are having sex VERY regularly, he still jacks off, not as frequently as he used to, but he still does it a lot

k=kink: overstimulation but not on you, on him, he might pretend that he hates it, but GOD he loves when your hand is squeezing his cock hard making him cum 10x over without breaks,

l=location: just the bed, yall do too much when ur having sex to do it anywhere else

m=motivation: just anything, anything you do turns him on, with NO fail

n=no: he honestly says he would try anything once, doesnt have any limits

o=oral: LOVES giving and receiving, loves when hes making you feel so good and your hands are pulling his hair :(( and when your giving him head hes on cloud 9 😣 loves it so much, loves ur pretty mouth around his cock sucking him dry

p=pace: when hes on top he goes pretty fast but when you're riding him you go a little slower

q=quickie: hes iffy on them, it just depends on where and when, but sometimes he wants to take his time

r=risk: like i said before, hes always down to try anything once

s=stamina: he can go for SO long like its crazy how long wonbin lasts. can go for 8-9 rounds without getting tired

t=toys: loves getting toys involved, viberators, cock rings, butt plugs, the occasional dildo

u=unfair: he cant, cant tease you like at all, whatever you ask you get

v=volume: he gets so loud, whining, groaning, moaning, begging for you to go easier on him

w=wild card:

x=xray: hes pretty big probably around 6 1/2 to 7" i dont think hes that thick though

y=yearing: ALWAYS 24/7 hes always thinking abt it, always initiating stuff with you, again, like i said, he gets hard with like zero initiation from you

z=zzz: doesnt really sleep afterwards, like at all, he loves cuddling afterwards though!

[sanjisblackasswife]

Any dad headcanons for the monster trio? (+ Law if you don’t mind)

(also love your writing btw!!)

A/N: I just seen a edit a while ago of Sanji being so good w kids n so I must— thank u btw!:) Imma add Cora because omg we need more writing with him:(

One Piece Men as Daddies (Fluff)

Black Fem Reader in Mind

CW: None! Except the mommy (the reader) is kinda a menace.

Ft. Zoro, Luffy, Law, Sanji, Corazon

Sanji

Top 2 Best Dads and he ain’t number 2 fr

He spoils his kids more than you now I’m sorry :(

He doesn’t realize this and swears he loves you both equally

I can most definitely see him having a daughter as his first child and yes you and her are his Queen and Princess

His daughter is a simp just like his daddy

His daughter stresses him out so much because she loves drooling over every guy she sees omg

“STOP IT, SAMMIE!”

“Sweetheart she’s a baby she doesnt e—“

“ARE YOU STARING AT MY CHILD?!”

Sanji needs to throw all kinds of kicks when he is with his babygirl

God help him when she’s a teenager

He loves cuddling you both while watching Disney movies

He teaches his sweet girl the importance of how a man should treat her if she somehow gets one

“You can’t get married until you’re 25.”

“Sanji she’s just 3 right now.”

“Okay make it 30.”

Okay ngl when you were having the baby he made the mistake of looking down between your legs and the baby’s head was just barely peaking and he passed out.

He still has a bit of subtle nose bleeds when you were breast feeding too

He keeps mementos of every single thing his child has; drawings, fallen teeth, etc he keeps it in a box in his side of the closet

Due to his childhood he tends to worry he will turn into his biological father. He confided to you about this issue while you were pregnant and you nipped it in the bud and told him that he was and will never be like him and Zeff would be proud of the kinda man and future father he turned out to be

Both cried that night.

Also he is completely aware what happens to a woman’s body after pregnancy and will always remind you no matter how much your body changes he will still see you so beautiful.

He will be just like Zeff to his son. Teaching him the same way and all.

Zeff is the granddaddy btw. Sanji takes his kids to visit him often.

He usually takes the kid(s) off your hands for a day if he sees you feel stressed

100000000/10 daddy and yes he will be pumping more into you again if you’re up for it🤍

Luffy

Two Luffy’s running around in your home

Make it 3 because I can see him having twins

They stress you out sm.

“STOP PUTTING THE BABIES UP ON TOP OF THE SHELF ONE DAY THEY GONE SAY FUCK IT AND BUST THEY HEAD—“

“I GOT THEM Y/N!”

Man didn’t have a clue in the world how to be a daddy. So he went to Rayleigh panicking KSSHSJJSS

He’s a very chill parent so you have to be the stern one and it sucks sometimes

Yes the kids like daddy more than you

Almost every night when Luffy is home he puts the twins to bed with telling them of all the stories he had with you when he was young

“And I met your mommy on a different island! She didn’t like me at first but now she’s in love with me! Heheheeh!”

Kids have the same shishishi laugh as him cracks you up each time they do it in sync

You made the mistake of leaving the three of them at home as you went to go shopping and came back to a wrecked home and the three of them eating meat on the floor

He tells them about Ace a lot.

He actually named one of the twins after him

Encourages them to be what they want in life even if they want to be a pirate

Sabo is ofc the nice uncle that comes barring gifts

Sanji and Zoro are the Goddfathers

9/10 daddy that still is learning to be a daddy

Zoro

It’s canon this man is amazing with kids so off bat he’s top 3.

Since he has so much experience he was really good with handling the baby when he was first born

At least 17 times during the time yall son was a baby he tried nursing from Zoro and he hated it sm he couldn’t even take a nap shirtless with him

“STOP LAUGHING!”

“He Just Like me for real.”

“ENOUGH.”

The second the baby was able to walk he already wanted to train him into being a swordsman

“HES A BABY!”

“HE IS A GROWN MAN—!”

He will most definitely kill for you both

You annoyed him so much during your pregnancy because you wanted to leave the house but he didn’t want you getting hurt

You’ve caught him training with your baby son swaddled on his chest (like that one filler episode of him babysitting) and you nearly choked him out because wtf is he swinging around a sword so close to y’all baby.

He did gain some weight too during your pregnancy but immediately shredded off after you poked his belly

He loves his son but as he got older he started to have beef KSSHSHSISK

His son is a mamas boy and so whenever Zoro wants to have alone time with you it’s like he had a 6th sense and barged in ruining the moment

It’s so funny seeing them argue over who gets to cuddle you for the night

He plans to give your son one of his old swords when he gets older if he decides to be a swordsman

Luffy is the Goddfather and Sanji is ofc the cool uncle that comes to visit

100000/10 Zoro is a wonderful daddy

Law

He is the strict dad

You both had a daughter and she annoys him a lot just like you did when you both were dating

“Imma get tatted like you daddy.”

“You’re 13.”

“So?”

“NO—!”

He was the one to deliver y’all baby

The doctor side of him popped out when you were pregnant he never let u leave the bedroom. He even bathed you a lot which in turn have had him have sex with you in the tub

“Orgasms can help soothe you as you’re pregnant, y/n.”

“…the hell you read that at.”

He talks about Cora to you and your baby while you both were were sleep after pregnancy.

When your daughter turned 21 you and her convinced Law to get the same matching tattoo as him on her hand and even though he acted like he was against it he was ecstatic

He has scared off so many of your daughter’s boyfriends pls

He took off the head of one because he kept staring at YOUR boobs

Law likes to study with his baby girl on his lap.

You’ve walked in on him sleep on his chair with the baby cuddled on top

120/10 Law is an outstanding responsible daddy

Corazon (Rosinante)

TOP BEST DADDY SHUT UP HEAR ME OUT

Matching clothes

He’d have a daughter :( lil Rosie Aksbsjdksk

Yes he’s clumsy but he’d rather die than have you or his baby hurt

He didn’t stop smoking but he does only do it outside

You catch him doing stupid faces and stunts to make you’re daughter laugh when she’s sad and she eats it right tf up

Yes she is a daddy’s girl

He carries you both around with ease

If he notices you feeling insecure about your body post birth he’ll feel a tinge of guilt but smother you in kisses and appreciation about how he doesn’t care about how you look he still loves u sm

And if that doesn’t work he’ll just show you…naked…in the bed….

Sex he’ll show u with sex

Law is like the older brother and he may not act like it but he loves seeing Cora so happy with you and the baby

Scares tf outta you when he is outside throwing your 4 months old baby in the air tho

He uses some of his methods when he was raising Law to raise your baby

Gets so emotional when your daughter reaches out for him

“BABY LOOK AT OUR BABY SHE LOVES ME!”

“You’re her daddy, Cora of course she loves you.”

Just like Sanji saves every core memory he can of your baby daughter

Let’s her put on his makeup . It came out horribly but he proudly wore it the whole day

He needs to kiss you both before leaving or else he will have a terrible day

One time you and the baby surprised him with a cake just as a thank you for everything he has done for you and he fell off the chair crying

He cries a lot

Wants to have like 3 more babies with you

102$)43920292772200/10 best mf Daddy

[thepepsislvt]

Izou nsfw headcannons bc i said so

god i love him

Warnings: NSFW mdni

A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Hes so sweet and will help you clean up and get you water.

B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part on him is his lips. He loved to make you come undone just by his mouth. He also loves to leave marks by biting you and his lipstick leaving stains

on you he loves your thighs. he loves to grip them while fucking you and kissing your thighs to leave his lipstick behind

C: Cum (Anything to do with cum)

He doesnt cum a large amount but just enough to fill you up. he loves to watch it drip out of you slowly

D: Dirty Secret

he loves to tie you up and thats no secret but he really wants you to tie him up every once in awhile and just ruin his full face of makeup

E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

he hasnt had many partners before you but he still knows exactly what he is doing

F: Favorite Position

any position to where he can see your face, he loves to watch your face while serching for any kind of discomfort

G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

he is never goofy he takes sex very seriously

H: Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

he is very well groomed, there is never a hir out of place

I: Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

he is very romantic, we will always praise you and tell you sweet things. he will constantly tell you how good you feel and how you belong to him.

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

he isnt to fond of the idea unless you are also masterbating in front of him

K: Kinks (One or more of their kinks)

Suspended Shibari:

he loves to see you tied up at his mercy and to have you suspended? he couldnt be more turned on ever. to see you trying to get away when you’re overstimulated but you have nowhere to go does wonders for him

Marking:

he loves to mark you all over. either by biting or having his lipstick smeared all over you. sometimes he will apply more lipstick in the middle of of fucking your brains out just to leave more stains. he will encourage you to show them off. he loves to kiss and bite your shoulders, neck and places thats easy to see

Orgasm Control:

He loves to be completely in control and more often than not he will not let you cum until he is ready. if you disobey him he will make you cum as many times as he wants until he is satisfied

L: Location (Favorite places to do the do)

He believes that sex is a sacred thing so he keeps it in private. most of the time being in your shared bedroom

M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

he isnt too hard to get going if youre really trying. the best thing you can do is you can pull his hair in which he secretly likes but hes gonna have to punish you

N: No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

he would never purposely hurt you and he would never bring his guns into bed even if you ask

O: Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

hes a big giver but will not complain if recieving

P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

hes slow but rough, he can be sensual but he prefers to be rough

Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

he doesnt like them at all, he likes to take his time

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Hes not too big on taking risks but he can depending on what it is

S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

he can go all night if given the permission but he does stop when youre all fucked out

T: Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He doesnt own any toys inly just restrainst ;)

U: Unfair (How much they like to tease)

he LOVES to tease you so much this goes hand in hand with orgasm control

V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

he doesnt make too many noises just groans and occasionally a low moan but hes not too vocal because he wants to hear you

W: Wild Card (Random headcanon)

he would love hello kitty (i didnt know what to put here)

X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

shaft: #f2d2cd tip: #f2beb4 5.2 inches, slight curve to the left by 1.63 degrees, not veiny

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

not very high but also not moderate

Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he makes sure youre all taken care of afterwards before he settles down for the night

[lririx]

Naib Subedar NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He's an absolute gentleman and aftercare is important to him. It's one of his ways of showing how much he loves you. He'll get the bath ready for you, give you a massage, cuddle with you and shower you with kisses and affection.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his arms beacuse he loves to hug you with them.

He likes his partners hands. Please please please play with his hair and run your nails through his scalp he'll melt.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Naib doesn't really like to come in you, though he wouldn't mind it once in a blue moon. He just loves coming on your stomach.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He wants you to wear a lewd outfit during a match and take you to a corner and fuck your brains out.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He does have some experience but mostly with men during the times he was in the military. Just give him some time and he'll make you rip off the sheets.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

He enjoys missionary and any position where you're on top of him. He also likes fuking you from behind while you're laying on your stomach.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Naib's pretty serious during sex. He doesn't make jokes when you're nervous,instead he praises you and tells you sweet nothings until you're comfortable.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He doesn't really like to have body hair so he shaves it all off though he doesn't mind body hair on his partner.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Absolutely passionate and affectionate. He takes his time adoring and worshiping you.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Naib doesn't have a high sex drive so he doesn't really masturbate. When he's in the mood he just comes and finds you but if he doesn't want to bother you or you're not available he just jerks off.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He loves bondage and tying you up. He also likes blindfolds since it enhances the pleasure.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

While he prefers to do it in the bedroom without anyone's intrusion, he also likes semi public sex. He takes pleasure in the thrill of you two being caught.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Teasing. Tease him and he's ready to take your clothes off right then and there.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Naib HATES the idea of hurting you or making you uncomfortable in any way. So he doesnt like anything like knife play or wax play. Just tell him what you don't like and he will never do it.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

This man is skilled with his tongue. He can and will make you shake in pleasure with his tongue. You're going to get off at least three times before he decides to fuck you. He won't let a single drop of your juices go to waste either.

He definitely prefers giving oral more but he enjoys receiving it aswell.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He starts off slow at first and enjoys every second of it but he'll gradually pick up the pace where by the end of it you're trembling and screaming his name.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He enjoys quickies. Deffinetly not as much as proper sex but if there isn't time and you two need to get it off he'll do it.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Not really experimental but like I said, he loves semi public sex and the risk of getting caught.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He is a mercenary so his stamina is really high which makes him last for a long time. He can also at least go for five rounds.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He's not really into toys but is willing to give them a try.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He teases a lot especially of you tease him first. He'll pretty much make you beg for him.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Not really loud but grunts and groans a fair amount if he's topping. But if he's bottom be ready to hear this man whimper for you.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He's a breast guy. Not even in a sexuall way. He just loves to hold them and squish them beacuse it calms him down. He also loves sleeping on them. And if you don't have boobs that's completely OK to since he just loves to sleep on chests in general. It relaxes him.

And yes he's a switch.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Longer than average. 7 inches. Not too girthy. Also pretty vein-y.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

As I said, he doesn't have a high sex drive. He's OK if you have a higher sex drive and ask him to do it often but respect him too and don't ask for it too much.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Aftercare is important to him so he won't fall asleep until he's taken care of you and makes sure you're OK, but sometimes when the session is really long he just falls asleep in your arms.

[s4turnzbarzzz]

ghostface (dead by daylight) nsfw alphabet

requested: no

Tw: smut

A= Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Danny isnt a very comforting person in general but if he was extra rough on you during sex that night he would clean you up with whatever he had lying around. Other than that youre on your own

B= Body part (favorite body part their own or their lovers)

he loves your hips. he loves grabbing then when he fucks you stupid from behind

he loves his hands because he can tease you relentlessly with them

C= Cum (anything that has to do with cum basically)

hes disgusting when cum is involed. he will cum on your face, chest, stomach, back, etc. he absolutely loves seeing you covered in his cum.

D= Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory)

he would let you peg him occasionally but you wouldnt be able to waterboard that out of him

E= Experience (do they know what they’re doing)

before he was taken in the fog he had quite afew partners and hookups so he definently knows quite afew things

F= Favorite position

he loves missionary and doggystyle for different reasons. missionary because he loves seeing your face contort with pleasure, doggystyle because he loves the way your ass jiggles with each unrelenting thrust

G= Goofy (how serious are they)

he can be goofy on occasion, but usually he just wants to focus o getting you both off

H= Hair (grooming habits)

he keeps himself pretty trimmed

I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/dirty)

he loves being rough with you but if youre both tired he'll be more slow and senual and actually make love to you

J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)

why would he jack off when he has you?

K= Kink (kinks what they like)

knifeplay

bloodplay

dacryphyllia (crying)

L= Location (where they like to get it on)

anywhere and everywhere

M= Motivation (things that makes them tick)

anything can get him going, wether its your voice, your shirt riding up a little bit, etc. hes a horny mf so i hope youre prepared

N= No (turnoffs or absolutely won’t do)

hes down to try anything once but he will not do anything involving piss and scat

O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are)

while hes great at giving head, he prefers to receive since it means he can fuck your throat

P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed)

hes pretty fast paced and can last 3-4 rounds in bed without any breaks

Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)

most of the sex you guys have consists of quickies, but if he gets you alone hes not going to pass up the opportunity to take his time with you

R= Risk (do they like to try new things)

he lives for the risk, especially if theres a chance you two could get caught

S= Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts)

3-4 rounds

each round lasts 10-15 minutes

T= Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers)

he will absolutely use vibrators on you but if you want any other toys you would have to persuade him to buy them

U= Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves)

hes such a fucking tease, he loves to edge you and overstimulate you

V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)

usually he just grunts and curses under his breath but when he gets tired or close to cumming he gets loud and fully moans

W= Wild card (nsfw headcanon of any sort)

if you ever get the chance to top him he will absolutely whimper

X= X-ray (what’s down below or in their pants)

hes pretty big honestly

when hes soft its around 4-5 inches

when hes fully hard its 8.5 inches and girthy (1.5 inches girth)

Y= Yearning (sex drive level)

hes a horny piece of shit so i hope youre ready to get fucked whenever the chance shows itself

Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after)

if hes just doing a quickie he doesnt fall asleep afterwards

if hes having a full session with you hes out like a light before he even pulls out of you

[slashingdisneypasta]

Absolutely not at all related to the events of last night...

How do you think Baby Firefly would react to being called mommy? This is a very important question you see.

Mommy!Baby Firefly x Younger!Fem!Reader || Headcanons

Topic: Baby being a 'Mommy'.

Warnings: Mommy kink, mdlg, some nsfw themes, Baby pulling an Annie WIlkes and m a k i n g you rely on her, etc.

((After the ~ dot point is when it gets dark like that)).

Oh my goodness I think she would love it!! XDD The boys always get to be called Daddy, and she wanted a turn!!

And like I've said- she definitely takes the opportunity to treat her sweet S/O as her living doll XD Not necessarily in a kinky way (Though she is going to tease you if she knows you're into that~ ); she's just having fun pretending you rely on her~ You're Baby's lil baby girl, aren't you?

She feeds you and then gently dabs your face with a damp cloth to clean you up ('... there. All better! So pretty~ ^^'). She lays in bed beside you stroking your hair and telling you bedtimes stories- and no, you don't get a choice when bedtime is (Baby it 5.30- 'Shh! The wolf is about to blow down house made of goddamn sticks!'). She gets in the shower with you and washes your hair ('🎶Scrub scrub scrub🎶 Scrub-a-dub-dub 🎶'), and she loves it when your silly little head ends up in the gutter. She can always tell when her pretty little sweetheart is thinking dirty thoughts about Mommy~ And you know this woman plays it up XD

Mommy Baby is always the big spoon. She has to protect her sweet little lady and make her comfy!

Ehem, *cough*, pussy inspections. The more shy and nervous you are the more she likes it. She teases how red you get, and asks if you'll do mommy next?? 'We girls have to look out for eachother, huh? (; '

Baby l o v e s braiding your hair if its long enough!!! Like, she'll just be sitting behind you cross-legged, humming little songs and gently brushing out your hair before lovingly braiding it ^^

And- I wasn't sure whether to put this one in this section or the next (dark) section but- Baby gets SO PROTECTIVE of you. Like, if Otis so much as makes a joke about hurting you he might get cut.

~

I can absolutely see Baby pulling a Tiffany Valentine/Annie Wilkes!! and trying to make you actually rely completely on her. Whether that be by taking some limbs so you need her help wheeling you around or feeding you (Can you imagine her riding the back of your wheechair?? She'd have so much fun , going 'weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!' and you're just there traumatised and sick), or drugging you so you're all cute and loopy ('Awwww, Y/N sweetheart, you look so sleepy!!~~ Come to mama~').

She makes a mess of you, so you need her. And she tries to isolate you, too. 'Who else is gonna care for you sweetness?? Otis?? You better stay by me, so that big meanie doesn't hurt you, k?' 'Mama?? No hon, Mama doesn't like you! I'm sorry- you thought she did?? Nooo, cutiepie, she's only nice to you because I love you!!~ ' 'Oh Cutter?? Pfft- baby doll, come on- Cutter doesnt like anyone. Least of al little old you!'

Baby absolutely threatens you if you try to get away from her, or defy or, or just say 'no' in any context towards her. Woman does not like it. She has been so nice to you and you dare to be fucken rude like that?? 'I'll beat your ass, honey, do you want that?? No I didn't fucken think so! Be-fucking-have!'

If you apologise and beg her she will forgive ^^ She loves it when you beg mommy ^^

[gamblersdoll]

Can you write "alphabet "abt Guts and Nerd? 🤡

i assume nsfw, so.

a- assignments and ass. any assignments or studying will result in just you sitting in his lap as he gives your ass a rub. it makes you nervous, he knows that. yet, he squeezes it and may also slip a thumb inside your puckered hole.

b- books and blowjobs. he knows youre a bookworm, and he knows you love erotica to a point of almost whoring yourself out. especially with giving him a blowjob, may also leave his cock in your mouth.

c- cockwarming, it drives him wild the way you can get away with having cock in your cunt, but yet you pretend to just be in his lap and study. he occasionally thrusts up, but he needs to move at times. youre a whore, so you can take it.

d- do carpets match drapes? in color, yes. but he keeps his pubes trimmed during the summer. its too fucking hot for that.

e- ejaculation. he prefers to cum on your face, he finds something so slutty yet beautiful about his cum just fogging your vision— quite literally.

f- face fucking, he absolutely adores it. he cant control himself when he does, he loves how fat it looks in your mouth and your glasses falling off from the sheer force of his fucking.

g- goofy, he is not.

h- handy, he doesnt primarily love it but only likes fingering you.

i- intimacy, he can be intimate, but likes bullying you more. something about you moaning to his degrading words turn him on.

j- jerking off, jerking him off. he loves it, especially on the phone or sending a pov video and him talking to you through the phone.

k- kinks, everything other than knife, gun, or scat.

l-location, anywhere, primarily his car.

m - motivation, you sitting in his lap or acting like your innocent, he knows otherwise.

n- nos, knives or guns or scat. hes not a fucking moron so those are absolutely not okay with him. he also has a trigger with the weapons.

o- oral, he is a giver, not much of a receiver. and hes god sent with his tongue. he also has pussy sucking lips.

p- pace, he can be slow and sensual or fast and demanding. depends on his mood.

q- quickie, only happens once in a blue moon.

r- risk, he takes them, and he knows you love the risk as well.

s- stamina, he can last for a hour max.

t- toys, he loves them!! he finds your vibe and dildo and does a double kill on you, he loves seeing you cry and whine.

u- unfair, he loves orgasm denial. like… alot.

v-vocalist, he is only really vocal when he is degrading or praising. ither than that, its groans and grunts.

w- wild card, he actually loves having you wait to squirt, its borderline piss kink but he knows you cant handle it but he love’s punishment for you.

x- x ray, hes packing a thick and fat seven and a half inch cock, and he knows how to work that mf.

y- yearning, he can be a needy brat when around you. if he doesnt have you now , hes throwing a mini tantrum.

z- zzz’s.. he doesnt fall asleep after sex, he has to do aftercare and make sure youre okay before he can even get sleep. otherwise you’ll lecture him.

[genderlessjacky]

THE NEW FUCKING EPISODE OF HELLUVA BOSS IM.sO NORMAL. THE LAST SCENE BRO THE LAST SENE HIT DIFF SPOLIERS AHEAD YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

LOOK AT HIM LOOK HOW SAD AND LONELY AND EMPTY HE IS HE IS RELIVING WHAT HAPPEND TO HIM AT STRIKERS LAIR YOU BITCH WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BOY

LOOK AT HIM WHEN HE LIFTS UP THE PHONE LOOK HOW EMPTY HE IS HE ISNT EVEN SHOCKED THAT SOMEONE SENT HIM SOMETHING HE MUST HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE AND FANS SENDING STUFF TO HIM BUT HE DOESNT C A R E BECAUSE THAT FAN DOESNT ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT HIM AND IS CLOSE TO HIM BUT HE SEES THEM ANYWAYS BC ITS HIS ONLY FORM OF COMMUNICATION OF THE OUTSIDE WORLD

I JUST NEED TO POINT OUT AGAIN HOW SAD AND LONELY HE IS HE IS STILL FRESH OUT OF FUCKING TORTURE AND TRAMATIZED ANDANDNAJSAJShu

HE HAS HIS DAUGHTER AS HIS WALLPAPER OH MY GOD HE IS TRYING SO HARD TO BE A GOOD DAD TO HER I CANT-

LOOK AT THE MESSAGES WITH BLITZ FOR A SECOND AND REALIZE HOW IT DIDNT START AT THE BOTTOM OF THE CHAT IT STARTED OUT ON THE TOP OF IT THAT MEANS STOLAS HAS BEEN READING THE MESSAGES WITH BLITZO BECAUSE THATS HOW MUCH HE MISSES HIM AND HE WANTS HIM TO BE BY HIS SIDE AND HE JUST GENUINELY LOVE HIM SO MUCH IT HURTS AND YOU SEE THE MESSAGES?? THIS ALSO HINTS AT HE IS TRYING TO CONVINCE BLITZO THAT HE DOESNT JUST CARE ABOUT SEX HE ALSO LOVES HIM AND C A R E S A BOUT SINCE THE OZZIES

LOOK HOW HAPPY HE IS WHEN HE GETS THE MESSAGE FROM BLITZ ONE SINGLE MESSAGE FROM HIM MAKES HIM SMILE AND HE LOOKS SO HAPPY

GUYS LOOKAHOW FAST HIS MOOD CHANGES WHEN HE REALIZES BLITZ IS NOT GONNA RESPOND HE LOOKS SO HOPELESS AND EMPTY HE JUST WANTS BLITZ TO BE WITH HIM AT HIS LOWEST AND WEAKEST BUT WHEN HE REALIZES HE CANT HAVE THAT HE LOSES ALL HOPE

AND INSTEAD OF PUTTING THE PHONE BACK W/ HIS POWERS LIKE HE DID BEFORE HE USES HIS HANDS BECAUSE THAT HOW WEAK HIS STATE IS HE CANT EVEN DO MAGIC ANYMORE

IT ZOOMS OUT AND NOW ITS REVEALED THAT HE HAS A LOT OF FLOWERS , THE S A M E FLOWERS NOT DIFFERENT BUT SAME THAT REPESENTS HOW EVERY FAN OF HIS IS THE SAME THEY JUST PITY HIM AND WANT HIS ATTENTION BUT HE KNOWS THAT , HE K N O WS THATS WHY THE ONLY THING THAT MADE HIM HAPPY WAS THE TEXT FROM BLIZTO NOT ANY OF THE FLOWERS BUT B L I Z T O BECAUSE HE IS THE ONLY ONE HE CARES ABOUT AND THE ONLY PERSON HE CAN ACTUALLY RELY ON BUT HE ISNT THERE SO STOLAS HIS JUST LEFT THERE TO BE HOPELESS

ALSO NOTICE HOW THE ROOM LIGHTING IS PINK?? THIS SAYS PINK IS A NURTURING PLAYFUL AND N O S T A L G I C COLOR THAT MEANS AT THAT MOMENT HE WAS TRYING TO BLOCK OUT ALL THE MEMORIES HE HAD WITH STRIKER BUT IS FAILING SO HE IS TRYING TO THINK OF HIS CHILDHOOD , WISHING HE WAS INNOCENT AGAIN W I SH I N G HE WAS WITH BLITZ AGAIN IN THIS EASSY I WIL

[simpfordemetri]

GARRETT NSFW ALPHABET

A=Aftercare

Sex with him is intense so if you are human you will end up really tired,but he is there to clean you up and let you sleep on his chest as he praises you

B=Body part

His favourite body part of himself it's his tongue,he loves eating you out and he know how quickly he can move his tongue

His favourite part of you is your ass,loves to see it bounce whenever he slaps it

C=Cum

Will cum anywhere you let him tbh,doesnt have a specific preference

D=Dirty secret

Wants to try hard BDSM with you but doesnt want to scare you or hurt you

E=Experience

He has a lot,have had sex with many many people so....

F=Favourite position

As same as cumming,will try anything doesnt have a preference

G=Goofy

Goofy as fuck,he cant keep it serious for more than a minute

H=Hair

He does has hair but dont give a fuck and wouldnt want you to shave

I=Intimacy

Intense,fast,rude,you always have some bruises on your arms and legs as well as hickeys

J=Jack off

He does and will do mutual masturbation

K=Kink

Squirt,making you cry or pass out from pleasure,BDSM

L=Location

Any fucking where

M=Motivation

He is always down to have sex with you,one peck and he is turned on

N=No

Hurting you,making you uncomfortable

O=Oral

Loves giving and receiving,69 position is usual between you two

P=Pace

Fast,loves hearing the noises your skin and his make when he fucks you

Q=Quickie

Yes loves them,mostly you two has quickies

R=Risk

Loves getting caught

S=Stamina

He could last forever but if u are human it would depends on how are you feeling,2-3 rounds.

T=Toy

Have them and will overstimulate you with vibrators

U=Unfair

He is the biggest teaser

V=Volume

He is loud and will make you scream that for sure

W=Wild card

Watching your boobs going up and down as you ride him,makes him absolutely crazy and you know it.

X=X-ray

22 cm

Y=Yearning

His sex drive it's high as fuck so he needs someone as equal

Z=ZZZ Doesnt sleep but will stay with you

[alovelyburn]

i swear you and bthump are the best people to go to when to comes to berserk stuff

you guys just have such a great grasp on the story and really expose the ridiculousness of the western fanbase

The sad thing is, I can't even be proud of that because 90% of it is literally just reading the story (and interviews) without jumping through 15 hoops trying to explain to myself that everything characters (or Miura) said or did means the opposite of what they said or did.

Being in Western Berserk fandom is wild, it's like.....

Griffith: When I think about the dream and Guts, he is definitely more appealing. In fact he just made me forget my dream completely. Fans: He's saying that Guts is only a tool to him and he's only important because he's the best way to the dream.

Griffith: Do you think responding to royalty repeatedly trying to murder me by killing them first makes me a horrible person? Guts: LOL what, who even cares about murder, it's fine, you're fine, what a silly question honestly. Fans: Look at that fucking asshole Griffith what a sociopath. Poor Guts is such a kind-hearted gentleman.

Casca: WTF Griffith you let him do whatever he wants and don't even punish him when he does crazy things Fans: Griffith's so abusive to Guts.

Griffith: loses the most important person to him - eclipse doesn't trigger. falls into a deep depression - eclipse doesn't trigger. massively self-destructs - eclipse doesn't trigger. has a post-sex mental breakdown - eclipse doesn't trigger gets tortured for a year to the point where his body barely functions and his tongue is being used as a torturer's necklace - eclipse doesn't trigger. gets treated like a pile of baggage and a burden by the people he literally prostituted himself to support - eclipse doesn't trigger. overhears that the most important person to him is leaving AGAIN - freaks out, but eclipse doesn't trigger. hallucinates a nightmare of being a doll kept as a pseudo husband by the subordinate who always had a crush on him - eclipse doesn't trigger literally tries to kill himself - eclipse still doesn't trigger confronted by his completely hopeless feelings about a guy who keeps abandoning him - eclipse triggers, offered a sacrifice, just kinda sits there has his mind invaded by demon lords who use every doubt, insecurity, guilt pang and self-hating thought he ever had against him - still doesn't accept the sacrifice. reminded that if he stops he's wasted all the lives that he's been living to justify accidentally ending - bursts into tears, falls to his knees and repeatedly apologizes but still doesnt' accept the sacrifice has the specific words of the one person he loves most used against him by making it sound like that person would approve of him accepting the sacrifice - cracks but still hesitates told that the sacrifices will forgive him since that's what they're there for anyway - accepts the sacrifice Fans: He literally doesnt care, he would have said yes ANY TIME, like if the Godhand waltzed up to him when he was literally sitting on the throne, he would've been like, FUCK YEAH GIMME THE POWER, KILL EVERYONE! because only cares about himself and power.

The Actual Worldbuilding: Sacrifices only work if you love the sacrifice so much that losing them is like losing a piece of yourself. Fans: Obviously you don't need to care about people to sacrifice them because Griffith sacrificed the Hawks, who he didn't care about.

M E A N W H I L E

Guts: Ignores the eclipse as it butchers his friends in order to repeatedly try to save Griffith. Then jumps down and wanders around trying to save literally anyone. Fans (AND THE DARK HORSE SYNOPSES): Guts' primary concern during the Eclipse was saving Casca, he made a beeline for her like, tunnel vision whoa.

S O M E T I M E L A T E R

Guts' subconscious: Why don't you just abandon her? Better yet, rape and murder her so you can be more like Griffith and be closer to him and twirl yourself around him like a vine. Guts: [LITERALLY SEXUALLY ASSAULTS HER WHILE FANTASIZING ABOUT MURDERING HER SO HE CAN BE CLOSER TO GRIFFITH] Fans: Guts loves Casca more than anything in the world, shes all he cares about.

Guts: When I see him I'll ....... Puck: Man, when Guts thinks about this Hawk guy, he gets so mad, but also his feelings are super complicated. Guts: When I saw Griffith there, I totally lost my desire to kill him. Also Guts: What do you mean you don't feel anything, come on feel something [poke poke poke] Hey wait where are you going?! Guts: This sucks just as much as when I left the Hawks, except this time I'm the one getting dumped. :/ Also Guts: Anyway I should drop Casca on Elfhelm and then find Griffith and......................... Berserk Guidebook: Guts' feelings about Griffith include bitter hatred and an unending stream of other complicated feelings. Also Guts: Anyway so, when I see him I'll ....... Fans: Guts just hates Griffith so much and nothing else. It's just hate. He wants Griffith dead so much like its even more extreme than the normal wanting someone dead. SO much deathlust, and NOTHING ELSE.

Guts: /swings at Griffith and misses Casca: /gets kidnapped Guts: I couldn't hit him even a little, and my sword let me down, I have nothing to believe in or strive for anymore. Fans: Look at him he's so broken up about Casca.

I literally feel like I'm in fucking bizarro land when I read your average western berserk fan's commentary it is WILD.