#it doesn't help that it's also raining and he's bleeding out

[redninjaaaaa]

i was half-right about it and damn, did the moment of gun unable to hold a cigarette, the same cigarette goo bought for him, echo with a ping in my heart

look back, where you left him dying

at the hands of the monster inside you

why do i feel like that the moment gun comes back to his senses, he dies? from all the wounds and blood loss, once the adrenaline disappears, there’s no way he survives, right?

but before his last breath, i want him to realize what he’s done to goo and fucking die with guilt. he deserves it.

[justagalwhowrites]

Nobody's Soldier

As a FEDRA officer, you really shouldn't be friends with Tommy Miller. But as you both struggle to survive in the QZ, that doesn't seem to make a difference.

Pairing: Tommy Miller x Female FEDRA Officer Reader

Warnings: SMUT! Unprotected P in V sex, breeding kink if you squint, oral sex (f receiving), mention of just all the shit that goes with surviving in a QZ, No use of Y/N, 18+ only, Minors DNI

Length: 6k

A/N: I kept thinking about this idea after hearing Hozier's latest so... I wrote it. I hope you like it!

Main Masterlist

It was well past curfew when you got to Tommy Miller’s apartment but that didn’t matter. At least, not for you. FEDRA officers didn’t have to worry about things like curfew. 

You pounded on the door, thankful for the sound of rain and thunder covering the noise, fist meeting the wood again and again until he opened it. 

“Well hi there GI Jane,” he said, looking damn near cocky as he leaned against the doorframe. “What can I do for FEDRA’s finest this evening?” 

“Fuck off, Miller,” you snapped, pushing past him and into his dingy apartment, pulling off your wet hat and dropping it on the beat up table just inside the door before you started pacing. It didn’t take long to cross the combined living room and kitchen, hands in fists at your sides. 

“Somethin’ on your mind there?” Tommy teased, closing the door and watching you pace. You glared at him, at the smug expression on his stupidly handsome face. But the look slipped, his chocolate brown eyes softening, his hands going into his pockets. “Sorry, not tryin’ to make fun if there’s something actually going on. Talk to me, honey.” 

You walked the length of the room one more time, eyes darting toward Tommy as you did before stopping near the table, arms crossed over your chest, trying to decide if you could do this. If you could really do this. 

It felt like you could. If you believed this feeling you got whenever you were anywhere near him, you would do just about anything for him. 

You’d known Tommy and his older brother, Joel, for years now. It hadn’t been on purpose, of course. No one in your position would seek out a connection with the Miller brothers on purpose. But you’d been patrolling the night you met them, when they were coming back from a run and you found them, scrambling below the fence, Joel with blood dripping from his leg. 

“Fuck,” Tess, their smuggling partner said, putting her hands up when your flashlight beam fell on them. 

You’d expected Tess and Tommy to take off, to leave the man who was bleeding and limping for you to contend with and save themselves. But they didn’t. Tess stood her ground, her chin defiant and held high, and Tommy stepped between you and his brother, his hands up, too. 

“Know you’re just doin’ your job,” he said. “We don’t want to cause any trouble. We got plenty of pills that you can have if you just forget this ever happened.” 

You frowned, looking between him and Tess. 

“I don’t want your fucking pills…”

“Cards, then,” Tess said, cutting you off. “We can also get you cigarettes, liquor…” 

You rolled your eyes and Tommy seemed to realize then that bribing you wasn’t going to get them far. He’d always seen you clearly, even from that first meeting he saw you.

“We’re just tryin’ to make a living,” he said quietly. “Life’s hard here. You know that. C’mon, GI Jane. Can’t you just… let us go?” 

You looked at him for a moment. You hated this part of the job, the one where you were supposed to turn in people who were just trying to survive the end of the world. It’s not like they were raping or murdering or even, from what you could see, running some sort of gang. Turning them in wouldn’t help anyone. And there was something about the man in front of you, something about the softness in his brown eyes and the kindness in his face. 

“Keep your hands up,” you said, lowering your gun and taking out your scanner. You checked each of them. Unauthorized exit but no sign of infection. You didn’t give a shit about the unauthorized exit part. You sighed and put the scanner away. 

“You’re cutting it awful fucking close on curfew,” you said, grabbing a note pad and writing a pass to get the elder Miller in at the clinic without too many questions. You handed it to Tommy. “Get him to a doctor and try to get off the streets before someone fucking arrests you.” 

He smiled, taking the note, looking you up and down as he did. 

“Thanks,” he said. “Appreciate it.” 

It was your first run in with the three of them but not your last. It wasn’t always sneaking out or back in. Sometimes, it was some brawl that your unit got called in to break up. Others, it was them in unauthorized areas. Once, it was because they were in lock up when you came by to drop off actual dangerous people. Every time, it pissed you off. Every time, you knew Tommy was better than this. He was oddly optimistic for a person who’d survived the end of the world, something about him giving you hope for this dying species. Every time you saw him in some compromising position, you worried it would be the last time, that he’d get himself killed doing something reckless and stupid when you weren’t there to bail him out. 

Eventually, you got sick of them cutting it too close for comfort and showed up at Tommy and Joel’s door, much like you had tonight, knocking until Tommy answered. 

“Hey,” he frowned when he saw you. “What…” 

You shoved a piece of paper with your work schedule into his hands. 

“Don’t try to come and go from the QZ outside of these times,” you snapped. “I can’t fucking cover for you if I’m not there to do it and they’re going to crack down eventually and I don’t want to see you in lock up for the rest of your life. Got it?” 

He looked down, reading the paper, a slow smile spreading across his face before looking back at you. 

“You’re worried about me,” he smirked. 

“Don’t read into it,” you rolled your eyes, turning to go. But he caught your wrist, stopping you. You frowned, looking down at his fingers around your arm before looking back at him. “What?” 

“Thank you,” he said, those damn eyes of his all soft and earnest. “You’re probably saving my life and my brother’s life, too.”

“I know,” you said quietly. “Try not to blow it, OK?” 

His eyes drifted to your lips for a moment before finding yours again. 

“OK.” 

There started to be more formal lines of communication then, the two of you meeting in secret a few times a month to exchange information. Eventually, it became more than that. There were the intimate touches - your hand on his bicep or his on the small of your back. Tommy started to bring you little gifts, things he thought you’d enjoy from the outside - books, CDs, a set of colored pencils, a bottle of wine. 

“I dunno if we should keep doing this,” he said one day, quietly, as the two of you stood in an alcove in part of the QZ that FEDRA had largely given up on. You always ditched your uniform before going to meet him. That day, it was late July and the heat oppressive, leaving you in a tank top with a loose skirt so you wouldn’t sweat to death. 

“If you mean you should stop risking your life for ration cards, we’re in agreement,” you said wryly. 

He glared at you. 

“I mean,” he said. “I’m worried I’m gonna get you into trouble.” 

“Tommy…” 

“Don’t act like I’m crazy for thinkin’ it,” he cut you off. “They catch you colluding with me? They’ll kill you.” 

“Please,” you waved him off. “Guards buy from smugglers all the time, it’s not like…” 

“I’m not just smuggling anymore,” he said. “I’m tryin’… I’m tryin’ to do the right thing for the QZ. For…” his voice trailed off, looking you up and down before casting his eyes to the ground. “For everyone. I get caught, they find out you’re involved? They’ll kill you.” 

You frowned, everything taking a moment to click. 

“You’re a fucking Firefly.” You didn’t ask it. You didn’t need to. But the look on his face when he raised his eyes to yours told you that you were right. “Goddammit, Miller! What the fuck are you thinking? You know they don’t have a shot in hell at doing anything worthwhile! FEDRA is a fact of life at this point, just like cordyceps, just like the shit rations, just like the sun fucking rising and the seasons changing! You’re just going to get yourself killed and for what? For some fantasy world that’s impossible? You can’t just do that! Your life is worth so much more than that, you’re worth so much more than that I’m not going to just let you…” 

He cut you off with a kiss, backing you into the wall behind you but catching your head with his large hand before it smacked into the brick. You kissed him back, your arms going around his neck, pulling him close and tight as his tongue dipped into your mouth. Your fingers tangled in his hair as he devoured you and his hand ran down your body to your ass, your thigh, fingers sinking into the thick of your leg to hitch you up and over his hip as he ground himself against your already aching center. You groaned into his mouth at the feel of him, hard against your sex and you rolled your hips against him, finally giving into the heat of want that had been rising for him for the years you’d known him. 

“Fuck,” he breathed, pulling back from you enough to speak but keeping his forehead pressed against yours, his eyes searching your own. “Can I…” 

“Do whatever you want,” you panted, desperate to kiss him again. “I don’t care, I just want you, I…” 

He didn’t give you a chance to finish, kissing you again, pressing you harder against that brick wall before reaching between the two of you to free his cock and shove your panties to the side and then he was in you, the thick heft of him forcing your walls apart sharp and hard, stretching you open and easing the ache inside. 

Tommy moaned and stilled when fully sheathed in you, panting into your mouth as your body adjusted to the size of him. 

“Goddamn you feel good,” he said, pressing himself deep, making your breath hitch. “Fuck, so fucking good.” 

He kissed you again before fucking into you hard, fast, urgent. It was heady, intense, but you knew it had to go quick, you were exposed here, just one idiot turning down the wrong alley and you’d be discovered. 

That, though, just seemed to add to the thrill. The leg that he’d tugged over his hip tightened around him and he grunted as he thrust into you again and again and you rocked your hips against him, working your clit against his pubic bone, trying to take him as deep as possible with every forceful stroke. 

Your orgasm built fast, your cunt growing tighter and tighter around him until it became too much and you burst with it, all the heat inside you shooting out from your core and into the rest of you as your pussy pulsed around him. You cried out with it, not caring that you were exposed and in the QZ and that you were a FEDRA officer and he was a Firefly. All you cared about was him, how he was filling you, how he was making you feel more like yourself than you had since the world had ended more than a decade earlier. 

“Fuck, gonna come,” he managed, fucking you through your orgasm, his motions becoming harsher, more clumsy as his own climax drew closer. “Gonna fill you up so good, honey, fuck!” 

You didn’t have a chance to respond before you felt his orgasm take him, his cock shoved deep, the heavy throbs of his pleasure spilling into you hot and thick. You went limp in his arms as you took it, back against the brick, his head against your shoulder as he panted for breath and his orgasm started to ease. 

You stayed like that for a minute, his cock starting to soften inside you, the thud of your heart heavy in your ears. 

“Fuck,” he said again, not filled with passion but loaded with realization. He straightened, still a little breathless, and looked at you, cupping your cheek gently and still buried inside you. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…” 

“It’s OK,” you said quickly, still a little breathless yourself. “My period is due any day now, it’s fine…” 

He nodded, still looking at you for a moment before slowly, gently, pulling himself from your body. He tucked himself away and adjusted your panties before making sure both of your feet were back on the ground and stepping back from you. 

“We shouldn’t do that again,” he said quietly, still watching you. “We… we shouldn’t see each other at all. Not now that I’m…” 

“A terrorist?” You asked, brows raised, remembering why you’d been mad at him just a few minutes earlier. 

“Fightin’ FEDRA,” he said. “I can’t… I can’t let you go down with me for this, honey. I can’t.” 

“And I’m, what, supposed to let you face this shit alone?” You asked. “I’m supposed to sit back and watch you get yourself killed?” 

He sighed and shook his head, picking his pack up from the ground before going to respond but you didn’t let him. 

“I’ll deal with the risk,” you snapped. “And we can keep our distance from each other but Tommy? I’m not letting you just get yourself killed. I’d appreciate if we worked together on that.” 

He looked at the ground and nodded slowly before meeting your eyes again. 

“Gotta promise me one thing,” he said. 

“What.” 

“Promise that if I tell you to get out or to stay away? You do it,” he said. You went to argue but he cut you off. “I mean it, honey. I’m not letting you get hurt for me. I can’t do that. I won’t.” 

You ground your teeth. 

“Fine,” you said eventually. 

He nodded again. 

“Good,” he said, turning to leave but stopping before he did. “Oh, I uh… I almost forgot…” 

He went into his pack and pulled out a small bundle of wildflowers, their cut stems wrapped in wet paper to keep them alive. 

“Saw these outside,” he said, holding them out. An offering. “Thought of you.” 

You took them, delicately tracing the soft petals. It was hard to believe there was something like this that still existed in the world, that it was still able to grow in the destruction you knew lay just outside the walls of the QZ. His hand found your elbow, holding you gently before pressing his lips to your cheek. 

“Take care of yourself, honey,” he said softly. 

You took a deep breath, still looking at the flowers, trying to keep the pinch of tears at the back of your throat from your voice. 

“You, too,” you said, looking up. But he was gone and you walked home with his come leaking from between your thighs and his flowers in your hands, hoping it wasn’t the last time you’d ever see him. 

It was a few months before you saw him again, when he sought you out because he knew that what he was doing was risky and he wanted to see if there was a way to do it under FEDRA’s nose. You helped him as best you could, both of you straining to keep an emotional and physical distance that felt almost panful now that you’d had a taste of what could be possible. But it worked, and the two of you figured out a new, tenuous structure to your relationship after that. You did your best to avoid what you both knew was right in front of you, what you both knew was impossible as long as you were a tool of the state and Tommy was fighting against it. But you couldn’t avoid him, seeking him out as often as you seemed to find a reason to, Tommy doing the same, always finding little reasons to touch each other, stand a little too close together, pass a cup of whiskey back and forth so it was almost like your lips were touching through the glass. 

Six months ago, though, Tommy had sought you out much like you had found him tonight, pulling you into an empty building as you walked home from a shift on guard, a job that was feeling worse and worse as the years wore on. 

His hand had clamped over your mouth to keep you from crying out when he grabbed you, pulling you back into his body. 

“Just me, GI Jane,” he said before you had a chance to really fight him. “You’re safe.” 

You jerked away from him all the same, peering out through a clouded window onto the dark street outside. You didn’t see anyone else. 

“Jesus, Miller, you trying to get yourself killed?” You snapped, adjusting your shirt from where it had gotten twisted against his body. 

“Sorry,” he said. “But I needed to talk to you.”

“And it couldn’t wait until our next meeting?” You asked, brows raised.

“Don’t know that I’ll still be here then,” he said and you froze, not even breathing. “The Fireflies… they’re sending me west.” 

“What?” You said quietly, watching him. 

“There’s a lab out that way,” he said. “They’re developing a cure, they want me to go help protect it.” 

“What? No,” you shook your head, heart racing. “No, you can’t, it’s too dangerous, it’s…” 

“S’why they need me to go, honey,” he said gently. “I’m pretty good at what I do, as it happens. They want my help out that way and, well… if I can be even a small part of fixin’ all this? I want to do it.” 

“Tommy…” 

“Come with me,” he said. You laughed but he shook his head. “I’m serious. Come.” 

“You want me, a FEDRA officer, to pick up and move across the country to be a Firefly,” you said, incredulous. “Sure, because they won’t just shoot me on sight when I show up at Boston HQ…” 

“I’ll vouch for you,” he said. “Come with me.” 

You sighed. 

“Tommy…” 

“It’s gotta be better than here,” he said. “Think about it, about what there could be for us out there. A place where we don’t gotta spend our days burning the dead or puttin’ people at gunpoint for breaking bullshit rules and…” 

“You really think there’s better than here out there?” You asked. “Look around, Tommy! The world ended, what, 15 years ago? And all that’s happened is more and more people get infected. More and more packs of raiders fighting to control shit. The closest thing we have to safety and the closest thing we have to a guarantee of making it to tomorrow is fucking FEDRA! You think I like this? That I like patrolling and arresting people and controlling shit like this? No! Of course I don’t! But I hear what it’s like out there and, what’s worse, I hear what it’s like in other QZs! There are executions and starvation and…” 

“You think we’re not headin’ that way here, too?” He demanded. “It’s not gonna get any better! Shit’s gonna get just as bad here and it won’t be long and I’m telling you… just come with me. I’ll take care of you, just… don’t ask me to leave you here. Please.” 

“Tommy…” 

“Please,” he said again, his voice cracking. “I can’t, I can’t just leave you here. I couldn’t do it, honey, I…” 

You cut him off before he said what you were afraid he was going to say. 

“I can’t watch you get yourself killed,” you said. “Don’t ask me to.” 

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I’ll put off leaving as long as I can,” he said eventually. “But I’m telling you, we need to get out of here. We can’t stay here, not forever, not like this.” 

He walked you home, both of you keeping an eye out for anyone who might spot you together and make it a problem but it was quiet. When you got to your building, he looked around quickly and pulled you to him, holding your face and tilting you just so before kissing you, his lips soft, his skin warm. It was the first time you’d kissed since that day in the alley, a day that was years behind you but always so close in your mind.

“Tommy,” you breathed when he pulled back from you, his eyes searching yours. 

“I’m not leaving you here,” he said. “And if shit looks bad? Come find me. I’ll help you.” 

You watched him closely. 

“You, too,” you said and you felt his eyes on you until you were safely inside you apartment, your door locked behind you. 

His eyes were watching you like that now, all soft and open and concerned. 

“C’mon, honey,” he said again, coaxing. “You can talk to me.”

“I had to work an execution today,” you said, your voice cracking. “There were six people, Tommy. Six. All they did was break curfew a few too many times, because apparently that’s punishable by death now, and I had to stand there and make sure that no one stopped it and I can’t do this, I can’t support this, I…” 

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, coming over and pulling you into his arms. He held you close, tucking your face into his shoulder and neck and you could smell the warm, comforting scent of him. Tommy had always been like that, like sunshine and fresh cut grass and wild flowers, like springtime made corporeal. “I’m so sorry, honey.” 

“This isn’t what I signed up for,” you said, choking up a little as you did. “When I joined, it was because it was this or doing who knows what to survive and they said this could help people. I wanted to help people, I didn’t want to kill them.” 

“I know,” he said, his voice velvet soft. “M’sorry.” 

You let him hold you for a while, soaking up the closeness with him that you knew you’d missed but hadn’t fully realized how much. Eventually, his hand stopped running the gentle path up and down your spine and came to cradle back of your head as he pulled back from you ever so slightly, his eyes searching yours. 

“I can’t keep being their soldier,” you whispered. “I can’t do it.” 

“You gonna let me help you, honey?” He asked gently. “Gonna let me get us out of here?” 

Your throat got tight, more tears tugging at you but you nodded, your eyes drifting to his mouth, to the soft plush of his lips below his mustache, your heart beating fast in the cage of your chest. You looked back to his eyes and saw your own feelings reflected in him, the want and care almost burning in his gaze. 

You kissed him then. You couldn’t seem to stop yourself, even if it wasn’t smart, even if you had so much more to figure out. He kissed you back, gentle at first but turning fierce and hungry quickly. But when you started tugging at his clothes, he stopped you, his large hands closing over your smaller ones to hold you still. You pulled back from him and frowned, concerned, but he didn’t give you a chance to ask. 

“We only did this once before and we didn’t get to do it right,” he said, his voice husky and his drawl thick. “Not makin’ that mistake again. Wanna take my time with you.” 

You just nodded and let him lead you to his bedroom. 

In another circumstance, you’d want to take a moment to appreciate that. The fact that you were here, with him, in his space with his things. You’d want to take a moment and see what he chose to surround himself with, to take in this part of him, too. But you weren’t able to focus enough on anything but Tommy enough to do that now and he didn’t give you much opportunity to. His mouth was on yours again quickly, unbuttoning your dark blue uniform shirt, pushing it down your shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. You looked down when it did, the fabric a pool on the ground, the patch with your last name embroidered on it all but glaring at you. Tommy gently took your chin and turned your head to face him. 

“Never have to put that on again,” he said quietly. “You’re not theirs. You’re mine.” 

You just nodded and kissed him again, undressing him as he finished undressing you in return. Soon, he was bare against you and you felt him in a way you never had before, the last time so hurried you didn’t even get the pleasure of his skin. But you did now as he walked you slowly, gently back toward the bed and lowered you onto the mattress. You watched him with wide eyes, taking the chance to actually see and appreciate him like this and he stroked his cock as he watched you in return. He tilted your chin toward him and kissed you before reaching down and spreading your legs, making your breath hitch. He knelt between your open thighs, trailing wet, lingering kisses down your chest and stomach as he did. 

“Gonna do this right,” he said, licking his fingers before gently, almost reverently, opening your sex to him. He groaned at the sight before lightly circling your clit with his thumb. “Gonna take real good care of you.” 

He leaned forward and kissed the top of your slit, wetly mouthing at your swollen clit. You moaned and that just made him more eager, licking and teasing at you as a finger circled your entrance before pushing slowly, firmly inside. He ate at you like that, licking and sucking and savoring and enjoying as he worked you with his thick finger and you couldn’t help but fall back on your elbows, back arching as he did. 

Your orgasm was building fast, everything in you going molten and hot, drawing tight and low inside yourself, everything he was doing putting you just on the edge of your climax but not quite close enough to reach it. 

“Fuck, Tommy,” you groaned, grinding your hips against his face, wanton and wild, your pussy not quite full enough to come. “Fuck, please, I…” 

“You need more?” He asked, pulling his mouth away from your slit and replacing his roving tongue with his thumb on your clit as his index finger continued to work you from the inside. “You need more than this to come?” 

You nodded frantically and he pulled his hand from you, making you groan. But he pushed you further up the bed, keeping your legs open and kneeling between them, his fingers finding your dripping heat again quickly. 

“Don’t want you goin’ without,” he said, panting and hungry, two fingers inside you now. “My girl needs more, I’ll give her more, give her everything.” 

He hooked his fingers inside into the soft, spongy parts of you that made you gasp and your body tense, just on the edge of your orgasm, teetering at the edge. At the last second, he took his hand back again but, before you had a chance to protest, his cock was filling you deep and hard, making your back arch as his thumb found your clit again, working you in firm circles as your body stretched to take him. 

“That what you needed?” He asked, grinding himself deep inside. “That little pussy all nice and full of me now?” 

“Fuck!” You cried out, your orgasm all but slamming into you, your muscles throbbing so hard it almost hurt, your cunt straining to hold his thick length inside as you came around him. 

“Goddamn,” Tommy groaned, his cock buried in you to the hilt, pulling back ever so slightly before thrusting back in so hard it was like he was trying to disappear into you. “That’s it honey, you come for me, you make a mess of this fucking cock.” 

He didn’t wait for your orgasm to fully ease before he started fucking you, really fucking you. His hands found the soft flesh of your inner thighs, spreading you open as far as he could, his fingers sinking into you there as his length found every part of you inside. Every movement stretched you, more than anyone else you’d ever taken before, but you wanted it so bad it wasn’t painful, just overwhelming in the best way. You wanted your body to shift to take him, to shape itself to hold him the way you so desperately needed to. He was inside you, over you, the smell of him on his sheets - all warm and wild - around you. You wanted to take him into yourself and have him take you, to bind yourself to him in a way that was fierce and inextricable. 

Your body wanted it, too, your slick dripping down your thighs and his, your cunt growing tighter and tighter around him, this orgasm taking hold faster and stronger than your first. 

His hands ran over your thighs toward your center, his thumbs stroking your lips, finding your clit and toying with you for a moment before taking your hips and adjusting you so that your sensitive nub was pressed against him, making you groan. His hands ran up your sides, over your stomach and waist, cupping your breasts before he folded himself over you, his bare skin pressing against yours as he kissed you. You whimpered at the feel of him, so soft but firm, warm silk drawn tight over the muscular structure of him. He took your mouth the way he took your pussy, firm and desperate and commanding, his tongue twisting with yours like he was trying to occupy every part of you he could reach and driving your pussy even tighter. 

“Not gonna last long, you grippin’ me like that,” he panted, his pace not slowing as he kept fucking into you. “S’it OK if I come inside you? Fuck, honey, I need to come inside you.” 

“I’m not…” you closed your eyes, having a hard time focusing, a moan pulled from you as his cock hit just the right place inside you. “Fuck… I’m not on anything, you might…” 

That just seemed to make him fuck you harder, his body pressing yours deeper into the mattress. When you opened your eyes again, you found him looking back at you, gaze hungry and open and, in that moment, you didn’t care what happened next. Like the apocalypse didn’t exist, like you hadn’t spent the last decade and a half living through hell, like it was just you and Tommy and wherever this led, it led and it would be OK because you’d be together. 

“Come inside me,” you whispered, eyes on his, your body moving to meet his on every aching stroke. “Fuck, please, please come inside me.” 

He kissed you again, the tangle of your tongues and teeth wet and messy, your legs coming up to bracket his hips as he drove himself into you harder and faster and you arched into him. Your orgasm was so close you were buzzing with it, not able to hear anything but his heavy breaths and your own blood in your ears, but you wanted to come with him, wanted to fall apart to the feeling of him leaving part of himself behind in you. 

Then, he thrust deep and hard, holding himself there against that soft and tender part of you and you felt the heavy pulse of him inside as he moaned into your mouth. The throb of his come spilling against the most intimate part of you setting off your own orgasm, your pussy fluttering over him, pulling every ounce of his come from his body into your own until both of you went limp, his heady weight enveloping you. He buried his face in your neck, his breath hot on your skin as the two of you panted for breath and your hands trembled as they drifted over his back, trailing up and down his spine. 

Tommy pressed his lips into your shoulder, your throat, your jaw, his nose nuzzling into your cheek as he pulled himself from your body before he left for a minute, returning with a damp washcloth. He climbed between your legs and groaned, his thumb tracing your slit. 

“I’m leakin’ out of you,” he said, his voice low and gruff. “Goddamn, love seeing you full of me.” 

He pushed his come back into your still slightly gaping hole and you moaned. 

“Sorry this ain’t warm,” he said before pressing the washcloth to your skin and cleaning you gently. “Water heater died about two years back.” 

You laughed a little. 

“Can’t remember the last time I had a hot shower,” you said as he dropped the washcloth somewhere to the side of the bed and lay beside you, propping himself up on his elbow to look down at you as he trailed his long, thick fingers gently over your stomach. “God I miss those.” 

He smiled, a little sadly. 

“Lot I miss about before,” he said. “S’why I’m trying to hard to get that back.” 

You watched him in the dim glow through the window of the streetlights outside. He was so beautiful, something soft and hopeful about him, something so lovely and wonderfully human that you weren’t sure existed in many people anymore. 

“Do you think they can?” You asked quietly. 

He shrugged. 

“I’m not smart enough to say,” he said. “But… I do know that if I don’t try? I can’t live with myself. I need to do everything I can to try to fix this because if I don’t, why am I here? If it’s not to make shit better for…” he took a deep breath, his eyes running over your body as he did. “For you… then what the hell am I doin’?” 

“Do you think the Fireflies will let me come with you?” You asked quietly. “Or how long it’ll be before we can leave if they do?” 

“They’ll let you,” he said. “Already talked to Marlene, told her all you did to keep me alive over the years. Plus, with your knowledge of how FEDRA works from the inside? You can keep helping us, even if you’re not still on the inside. And… I told her I wasn’t goin’ if you couldn’t go, too.” 

You shoved him lightly and he laughed, leaning down to kiss the tip of your nose. 

“We can leave in a few days,” he said. “We got a group headin’ that way at the end of the week that we can travel with. You can just lie low here until we do.” 

“You were leaving that soon?” You asked, heart cracking open a little at just how close you’d come to losing him without even realizing it. 

“No,” he shrugged. You frowned, confused, and he sighed. “I told you, they want me out there, I could have gone with whatever group I wanted but I wasn’t about to leave without you. I’ve just been waitin’ for my girl.” 

You smiled in spite of yourself. 

“Your girl, huh?” You teased. 

“My girl,” he smiled. “And me and my girl are gonna go save the world.” 

You moved closer to him, to that warmth he seemed to radiate that touched every part of you, kissing his bare chest as you did. 

“Yeah,” you said, that warmth taking root in your chest and blossoming into something like hope. “We are.” 

[strwberri-milk]

Ok thanks for answering my question about the Sumeru boys.

So if it's alright, I wanna request alhaitham and kaveh x afab (they/them) reader. Sfw and also nsfw if that's okay.

Kaveh being the one to bring in bunny reader when they found them curled up, all alone in the rain, injured and deciding to take them in. Kaveh also taking care of the reader. Alhaitham not approving at first but warming up to reader over time. So after a few weeks, once they know the reader better and enjoy having them around, they go into heat. They go to Kaveh for help and he helps them but alhaitham over hears them and then a threesome happens when Kaveh walks in on them. The rest that happens, is up to you.

Kaveh has a bleeding heart and that's incredibly evident when he scoops you up and immediately takes you home after seeing how pitiful you looked sitting in the rain. He tries to patch you up as best as he can, using the knowledge he does have and when you seem to be taking a turn for the better he knows he's succeded.

Al Haitham is a lot more skeptical of you. He didn't expect to be housing another unwanted house guest but he also is a little too nice to outwardly say no. Instead, he just slinks around the house and quietly disparages Kaveh for picking up another sad little stray because it reminds him of himself.

That doesn't stop him from making sure the house is stocked for three people, and he doesn't really say anything too mean to you in particular. Again, he just does a lot of grumbling about how he didn't sign up for this but if you read between the lines it seems that he's just really only mildly inconvenienced.

Kaveh's done everything he can to help you adjust to your new life. He's always willing to provide a listening ear or stay up a little later to spend time with you. You're also invited to sit with him while he works, provided you don't breathe too loudly as to avoid bothering his work. He won't exactly snap at you, but he does have his moments where he comes close before stopping himself.

When you start to show symptoms of an upcoming heat you first try to suppress it yourself. You knew of a few at home remedies you could try to do but you can't find all of the things that you'll need to properly try and make your feelings ease up.

You know that Al Haithaim is really smart and thankfully he's been staying home more often these past couple of days. You think that there's a chance he'd know more about your condition and that he might know what to do. Unfortunately however this was one of the days that he was out, meaning you'd just have to sit at home, alone, trying to figure out what to do. You couldn't help but get yourself off to try and take off some of the edge, whimpering on your bed as you cum for the nth time. It was only helping you a bit, barely ridding you of the heat of even more much-needed orgasms.

When he returns home he can hear the desperate noises you're making even just from the door. He steps in quickly, unsure if someone else was home with Kaveh, or if you were in danger but as soon as he comes to your room he quickly puts the pieces together. The desperate look you flash him makes his heart skip a beat, knowing that he thought you were cute but thinking that was all there was to it.

Without thinking he finds himself pulling his clothes off to crawl over your body, hushing you gently as he puts his hands on you. Your reaction is immediate, whimpering as you keen into his touch. You pull him into a hungry kiss, wrapping your legs around his waist and letting him into you.

Kaveh has almost the same reaction as Al Haithaim, except he's a little confused when he hears the sound of low grunting adorned with loud moans and whimpers. He isn't expecting to see you on all fours, getting absolutely destroyed by Al Haitiham. You look dumb from all the times he already managed to make you cum without trying, his cock shiny with your slick and mattress soaked with your arousal.

The picture is too perfect for Kaveh's eyes, especially since he's been hiding his burgeoning feelings for you for quite some time now. With that in mind, he feels himself getting harder at the sight of you on your knees, mouth open in permanent moans. His gaze catches Al Haitham's for almost a second too short to catch the slight nod he does towards your body. He looks down at you, the same eyes that pulled the former in now drawing Kaveh's attention.

He quickly pulled his hard cock out of his pants, getting on his knees in front of you before trailing his weeping tip on your lips and pressing it gently into your mouth. The two of them quickly work into a rhythm, finding what makes your body finally hit that point of release that you're desperate to have, loving the way you mark them up in pleasure.

They devolve into pulling and moving your body into different positions, taking turns fucking your holes and running their hands over your body. Your pussy feels spent, but despite that your heat keeps you aroused and desperate, keening into their warmth whenever they try to leave. Neither of them mind, wanting to see just how much cum they could cover your body in.

[quitealotofsodapop]

Peach Noodles

I don't usually use stock tracers but I wasn't gonna try at 3:45 in the morning

Ty @soniclozdplove; this gives me the perfect opportunity to introduce the public to the Au we have been busting out in Messages (i sound like Im doing a commercial).

we present to you;

Peach Soup

On one rainy night; a monkey demon in torn clothing clutching a crying bundle wanders into the path of a delivery truck. The driver slams the brakes and gets out to yell at what he thinks is a jaywalker.

Pigsy instead finds a scared, hurt, possibly teenage, monkey demon protectively holding a baby to his tiny form. Both muddy and wet with rain. The pig demon's morals win out, driving the two young demons to his restaurant for shelter and a warm meal, hoping to get some information out of the older one.

But the older, red-eyed, ginger-furred monkey doesn't seem to know... well *anything*. No name, no approximate age, barely any human language, not even an explanation why he's covered in bleeding cuts and grisly scars - all he seems to know is that he's hurt and that he needs to protect the cub.

Pigsy calls up Tang for advice. He seriously suspects the pair were victims of some kind of demon trafficking, like he's heard horror stories about in the newspaper. The fact that one is clearly a newborn convinces him of this theory further. Tang advises to keep the pair there while he rushes over in person.

The older monkey has concerning habits too. He's too afraid of the steaming noodle broth to take a sip, so Pigsy improvises by grabbing some fruits from the fridge. The monkey cautiously sniffs the bowl of fruit, his pupils widening at the scent.

Within a minute, the monkey had eaten three peaches whole. Pigsy laughed, cautioning the boy to slow down and to not eat the pits.

Pigsy: "You really seem to love peaches, huh?" Unknown Monkey: (*nods happily*) Pigsy: "Since you can't recall a name... how about I call you Peaches for now?" "Peaches": (*thinks for a moment before nodding excitedly*) Pigsy, fond smile: "Ok then. Peaches it is!" Peaches, smile full of fruit: :D! Pigsy: "Now we need a name for the little guy..." (*both look at the baby monkey demon curled up against Peaches chest, sleeping soundly*) Peaches: "M'kay."

Within a few days and an investigation by the Metropolis Police Department in case it really was a case of trafficking or severe abuse, the two monkeys are given legal identities and now require a foster home that won't separate the pair (there has been an attempt to remove the newborn, but both had become inconsolable). Pigsy and Tang team up and step forward to take the responsibility for the two lost demons that had wandered into their lives.

Peaches is an odd kid (or maybe a young adult, it was hard for the doctors to gauge); very strong for his size, and has a few muscle tics that crop up time to time. He often flicks his arms towards his ears when he's startled or upset. He clutches his head when he's in any form of pain - a habit his adoptive parents put down to whatever caused the nasty-looking crown-like scar around his hairline.

He's also extremely protective of the baby monkey adopted as his little brother. MK, nicknamed due to confusion in processing his adoption papers, grows from a baby to a teenager in the typical amount of time, whilst Peaches barely grows at all. The two are inseparable, with MK loudly worshipping his big brother as the strongest, smartest brother in the whole wide world! Peaches even gains a fan with MK's school yard friend Mei.

Tang and Pigsy nearly had heart attacks the first time Peaches accidentally broke a fridge, or shattered a glass in his hand, or put a hole through the wall with his fist. Seeking out a way to teach their son how to manage his inner strength, an old friend was contacted for help. Sandy was surprised to be contacted after so long, but the sight of Pigsy and Tang's nervous, extremely strong son, made sense. The boy was afraid to hold any creature for fear of hurting them, even extending to his own baby brother. Sandy made sure to help the monkey demon measure and control his strength with lessons in martial arts and meditation. The boy also became a delightful companion for teatime, becoming fascinated in the properties of the different blends.

Peaches also has an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. The second he grasped reading and writing, he wanted to know more. More about the world and the things in it. And he'd later gain a fixation for plants and medicine, on the track to becoming a doctor or a pharmacist if he so chose to.

But for now he's earning his keep (jokingly says Pigsy, he'd never kick out his eldest son) as a busboy and delivery driver for Pigsy's Noodles alongside his baby brother MK.

At least until he was called to deliver to a construction site deep into the city, and instead of a customer he found Princess Iron Fan, Red Son, and the legendary Ruyi Jingu Bang. Peaches was never a fairytale buff, but Papa Tang had read him and MK seemingly every book under the sun about this side of mythology - and if he weren't mistaken, there was a very good reason that the Staff was wedged into that mountain.

So without thinking he grabs if from Red Son's mechanical arm, his brain only catching up afterwards that he shouldn't be able to.

DBK: "SUN WUKONG!" Peaches: "Uh, no!? I'm just Peaches!"

The ginger monkey runs from the site, all three members of the Demon Bull family hot on his tail, but not just out for vengeance, but for concern. Why did he not remember them?

Peaches runs home, certain that Papa Tang knew what was going on, and why he was able to lift the Monkey King's Staff.

When the family makes it to Flower Fruit Mountain in search for the real Monkey King and to get some answers, they discover something horrifying.

Peaches is the Monkey King.

So how come he doesn't remember being him?

Tune in as the mystery unfolds >:3

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Aug 29th

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1. hello! i’ve been looking for a fic that involves an OC (i think?) that acts as a beard for nie huaisang. it was wangxian centric but that’s the main detail i remember. thank you!

FOUND? 🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 859k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) has NHS getting himself engaged to a female OC that he has no romantic interest in (& vice versa - she's a lesbian) because she has useful skills

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2. hi! Do you recall a fic where wwx was like an omega courtesan in a school who was bought by lxc for lwj. Mianmian was also there with him too for a bit. I remember a scene where lwj got mad at wwx for wanting to wash him. They fall in love eventually. If you could find this fic I'd be grateful! 🙏

FOUND! Rattling our cages by danegen (E, 69k, wangxian, A/B/O, but like polite, Slow Burn, Pining while fucking, so much hair combing, WWX has a vagina, POV WWX, no yin iron or wars or plot really, Canon Era, spiders–see the notes, Spanish Translation Available)

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3. Hello! Thank you for all the work that you all do <3

I've been trying to look for a fic for some time now. I think it had wangxian pretty much adopting a little girl. Like the girl is an orphan and just keeps clinging to wx and being super sticky and I think there was a plot in her backstory dealing with resentment. Wwx knew abt it but lwj did not figure it out until later i think. This girl just accompanied them on some nighthunt or smth. The story has the Lan take in orphans due to reasons(tm) and the girl was one of them.

FOUND! the low sky, raining over by chibilwj (thelogicoftaste) (M, 37k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Kid Fic)

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4. Hi. I have a fic to find. In this fic, instead of Yanli dying at Nightless City, Lan Zhan gets critically injured and it sends Wei Wuxian into a spiral. Lan Xichen is very angry at him and will not let him anywhere near his body.

Thank you for your help.

FOUND? If I Could Go Back in Time by Runningbarefoot (M, 122k, WangXian, NieLan, Canon Divergence, Role Reversal, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning, YL WWX, Eventual Happy Ending, The Twin Jade Brotherhood, Hurt/Comfort, Character Study, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Slow Burn)

FOUND? 🔒❤️ kick at the darkness ‘til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst)

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5. hi this is for fic finder!! i’m looking for a fic where wangxian leave the cultivation world for a while with lan sizhui and only come back accidentally. i’m pretty sure everyone else thinks they’re dead and they might have been residing with baoshan sanren in her mountain. thank you!

FOUND? If It's Too Hard To Forgive by Machevalli (M, 94k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Fluff and Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Yunmeng Jiang Sect Bashing, WWX Leaves the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, Mpreg)

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6. Hello! I'm looking for a WangXian fic, they were both dragon shapeshifters, but they met each other in their dragon forms. They both assumed that the other was a regular dragon and both made the decision to commit to the relationship and live out their lives as dragons from now on. I think only when JYL visited and WWX turned human for her, LWJ realized that he was a shifter too. It might have been a twitter thread fic. Thank you so much for your help!!

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7. Looking for an arranged marriage au for wangxian. Yiling laozu wwx, he and lz don't know each other and lz is initially worried cause of wwx reputation. Wwx does the marriage, but doesn't immediately trust lz cause he could be a spy/sent to hurt wwx etc. Specifically there was a scene where people came and attacked wwx's household, I think wwx was away. Everyone hid in the cellars only to realize a-yuan was missing. Lz goes after him and saves a-yuan from being harmed but gets badly hurt.

This leads wwx to realize he can trust lz. Wwx may have taken lz's sword away before the attack cause of a misunderstanding and lz fought to protect everyone any way. And I think another scene lz comes out in his night clothes and yells at a group of cultivators who had come to rescue lz cause they thought something happened to him and lz is like why r yall breaking into my house in the middle of the night and the cultivators (lxc might have been with them) were like this is awkward.

but mebbe I just made it up/misremembered or accidentally combined things?

FOUND? 💖🔒 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Mutual Pining, EXTREME SLOWBURN, the inherent eroticism of the forehead ribbon, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, neither wwx nor lwj want to be Perceived, but sorry kids! it’s gonna happen!, rated E but the the NSFW stuff doesn’t begin until chapter 19!, bottom LWJ in chapter 20 and 27, Mojo’s post)

FOUND? Caught Between Sun and Shadows by Alliandra (E, 71k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, grapshic depictions of violence, sunshot campaign, arranged marriage, YLLZ WWX, pining, battle husbands, versatile wangxian, falling in love, resentacles, sex pollen, fuck or die, golden core reveal, politics, hurt/comfort) also sounds like

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8. Fic finder? I'm suspecting it has been deleted but I need to try. It's a fanfic where wwx attempts s*ic*de (suicide) and jc finds him in the bathroom. He calls 911, he's hospitalized and all of that. Please help me 🥲🥲

FOUND! 总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) by yiqie (E, 76k, WangXian, Modern AU, Pianist, Getting Together, Mental Health Issues, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Hospitals, Overdosing, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note)

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9. a modern AU where LWJ and WWX reconnected at a party when Su She was hitting in LWJ, takes place in grad school and WWX doesn’t know they were dating until the end when they visit LWJ’s uncle’s cottage

thank you so much for your help!! @anonionsodelicious

FOUND? without your new eyes by anaphoricae (E, 66k, WangXian, Modern, Didn’t Know They Were Dating, Sexuality Discovery, Self-Discovery, Literal Sleeping Together, (there is so much sleeping in this fic), mentions of WWX/others and LWJ/others, Drunk LWJ, Teacher LWJ, WWX is a… throws dart… computer scientist, No Angst, Jealous WWX, Flirty WWX, Eventual Smut, Bottom LWJ, Fluff, Non-Sexual Intimacy, WWX’s Love Language is Physical Touch, Guess what: even more non-sexual sleeping together, the plot of the fic is just… co-sleeping, call it the Nap Fic ™, Podfic Available, WWX isn’t so much 'oblivious’ as he is wilfully blocking some feelings subconsciously, WWX 'idk how I feel’ to 'I’m gonna marry him’ pipeline)

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10. Hi im looking for a specific fic. The fic was on ao3 and was a modern au where Wei Ying realizes he might be a bit gay and kisses lan zhan but then freaks out, and they get a bit awkward. He then goes on to forums to see what others might think of his situation, he tries watching gay porn etc. and finds that he's dreaming of lan zhan. He ends up being jumped by homophobes goes on a drinking binge for the next few days as a result and hears that lan zhan has been staying in his room and hasn't been doing well, wei ying thinks it's because he kissed him but later finds out he sent lan zhan a homophobic message when drunk. Any help would be appreciated!!! @livesformitski

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11. Hello! I was hoping you can help me track this fic down!

In the fic Lan Zhan finds out about Wei Yings golden core and he schemes to get it back with Wen Qing no matter what. I think it was a dark lan Zhan fic?

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12. For FF, I am once again asking for wlw wangxian fics. There’s a specific one I can’t seem to find, wherein Lwj and wwx are roommates, and wwx is planning on moving out to mm’s bc she constantly hears lwj hooking up in her room, but there’s an issue at the new place or something so she keeps putting off moving out until eventually she’s convinced to stay when they get together

I’ve tried digging through tags but it’s giving me issues, I would appreciate you forever if you find it🙏🙏🙏

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13. Hi I'm looking for this wangxian fic but can't find it anywhere, I don't remember a lot but all I remember is lan wangji getting his lashes punishment and wei wuxian (who is alive) turning up getting angry and destroying all the clans. Yanli (also alive) - and I think zixuan- was like ' well what do you all expect, you've all brought this on yourselves'

Sorry I can't remember much else,

Thank you ☺️ @haseenaay99

FOUND? An arrow to the heart by IsilmeLasgalen (T, 47k, WangXian, SongXiao, XuanLi, ZhuiYi, LQY/NMJ, XiSang, A-qing/OYZZ, BSSR/LY, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, YLLZ WWX, WWX Lives, BAMF JYL, Protective WWX, Good Parents LWJ and WWX, Married WangXian Have Children, JGS "falls" down the stairs, Bad Parents JFM and YZY, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, JYL Lives, JZX Lives, Protective WN, Implied/Referenced Abuse, POV Multiple, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Cultivation Sect Politics)

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14. I'm looking for a Modern AU crack-fic-ish from Jiang Cheng's POV (I think?) where Wei Ying seems obliviously in a relationship, and later married, to Lan Zhan. It's also implied that maybe they're just trolling Jiang Cheng. @hiperfyxation

FOUND? Six in one hand by deliciousblizzardshark (T, 2k, WangXian, Modern: No Powers, Crack Treated Seriously, Compulsory Heterosexuality, POV JC)

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15. Hi i need help looking for a fic. I don’t remember much but it was a sort of time travel fic where wei wuxian goes back in time. I think there was a scene during the sun shot campaign where wangxian confess? I remember lan wangji being jealous of his future/ alternate self who is wwx’s husband

I’m so sorry I don’t remember more but please help me find this fic 🥹

FOUND! 🔒 if you can’t beat them, recruit them by moeblobmegane (T, 228k, Wangxian, NHS & WWX, WWX & WQ, Time Travel Fix-It, Conspiracy, Spies & Secret Agents, Team as Family, Found Family, Burial Mounds, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Pining, Morally Ambiguous Character, Rumors, Politics, Developing Friendships, Good Uncle LQR, Demonic Cultivation, YilingWei Sect) i think its - chapter 26

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16. Hi, this is for a fic finder. I’m looking for a fic where WWX is a Wen. When Lans were attacked, LWJ, LSJ and LJY were taken to Qishan but were taken under WWX’s wings and they were taken care of. It was lan sect bashing and LQR bashing. LWJ did not return to Lans. I just remember that towards the end of the fic, there was a scene where WWX asked his spies from each sect to come out and MXY came out from Jiang, XY came out from Nie and MY was from Jin. I thought I’ve bookmarked it but could find it. I also have checked Wen WWX compilations and War Prize LWZ compilations. Did not find in either list. I’d appreciate if anyone know the name! Thank you!

FOUND? To the Heavens and the Earth by IsilmeLasgalen (E, 77k, WangXian, WWX is a Wēn, POV LWJ, Good Parent LWJ, Marriage of Convenience, Accidental Marriage, Implied Mpreg, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs, CSSR and WCZ Live BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Cultivation Sect Politics, Bottom LWJ, Top WWX, POV NHS, Protective LJY, Good Person WRH, Protective LXC, Immortal LWJ and WWX, POV LXC, Mpreg, WangXian in Love, Soft WangXian, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, POV JZX, Emperor WWX, Emperor LWJ, Past WWX/Other(s), Everybody Lives, Fluff, Angst, Smut, LWJ is LJY's Parent)

~*~

17. Hi! I'm trying to find a fic where lej continuously aaja to play cleansing fir wwc but he keeps reusing cuz resentful energy is the only thing holding his body together but the eventually agrees and then almost dies but wen qung is there and then the course reveal happens and it angsty and wwc thinks lans wouldn't have cared if he told them cheating him if resentment could possibly kill him, thanku!

FOUND? 🧡 decay by antebunny (G, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, the fluffiest ending, Hurt/Comfort)

~*~

18. Hello, this is a fic finder ask:

I’m not sure of the entire plot the the fic but I remember Meng Yao getting caught and being slapped by SiSi in front of the other sect leaders because of what he tried to do knowing his mom’s upbringing. He tries to play it off but he gets imprisoned in a Lanling Tower and isn’t allowed to use anything with strings because of what he did to Nie Mingjue.

FOUND? 💖🔒 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Mutual Pining, EXTREME SLOWBURN, the inherent eroticism of the forehead ribbon, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, neither wwx nor lwj want to be Perceived, but sorry kids! it’s gonna happen!, rated E but the the NSFW stuff doesn’t begin until chapter 19!, bottom LWJ in chapter 20 and 27, Mojo’s post) I think #18 is - chapter 30. But its only has the slapping part

~*~

19. hi, I have a finder fic ask, well two actually:

A. jin guangshan tries to assault yanli but he is stopped but there’s a plot twist because yanli knew it would happen because jin guangshan has a special garden when he does that to people and she is maybe a time traveler so she sets him up to be caught

B. WWX has died and there’s a celebration happening and there’s this special guest that will be there, possibly called The Painter, and when they get there the guest actually sings the story of how the different sects are hypocrites and the guest curses all of them except Lan Wangji and when the guest goes to leave, they lift up their veil and reveal themselves to be baoshan sanren.

~*~

20. Hi!!! I hope you're doing well. Please help me find this fic. It's a modern setting one, where I think WWX is sending LWJ suggestive pictures and videos of himself, and LWJ just doesn't know who it is. I think WWX is some kind of IT or something. I came across this fic on Twitter/X in a promotional of the AO3 fic, but I can't find it anymore. I forgot the parts of the fic but I know there's pictures and chat logs inserted in the fic. Please help me and thank you so much!!!

FOUND? might be this thread (unrolled because I don't have twitter)

also on ao3 its called + xx xxx xxx xxxx by 3neetee (E, 12k, WangXian, Modern, Shameless Smut, PWP, Dom/sub, Stalker WWX, Manipulative LWJ, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Masturbation, Rimming, Spanking, Spit Kink, Under-negotiated Kink, Identity Porn, Explicit/NSFW Pictures, Twitter threadfic, Semi-Public Sex, freak4freak wangxian)

~*~

[crusty-chronicles]

hi!! i hope you're doing well!! i was hoping if you could write an (platonic) airhead headcanon for gon from hxh?? you dont have to if youre not comfortable w writing it!

i really enjoy reading your works and i hope you have a lovely day!!!

Ah yes, another chaotic crack fic coming up.

BONUS AIRHEADED S/O HEADCANNONS: Gon (HxH)

For starters, there is not a single thought to be had between the two of you

Heads empty with static

You tripped and fell?

He's stumbling on your body and toppling over.

Gon got stung by a bee?

You're fighting the entire hive, only to end up having the worst allergic reaction of your life.

You wanna play in the rain without a jacket?

The both of you end up with colds the next day.

Gon can't do math and you can't read or write, so it balances out.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Poor Killua is the one who has to put up with both of you

"No Y/n. Eating a glow stick will not make you radioactive and shiny." "No Gon. You can't bake a cookie in one minute just because you set the oven to 1500 degrees."

His two best friends are complete idiots and he can't do anything about it.

But on the bright side, you and Gon are endless entertainment.

You most likely met during the Hunter's Exam.

He and Killua were surprised to see another kid taking the exam, especially one that was keeping up just as well

Leading Gon to ask his famous icebreaker question.

"Why do you wanna become a hunter?"

And immediately your face scrunched up in confusion.

"A what? I thought we were all playing a game."

"But you had to fill out an application." Killua pointed out, very suspicious of your answer.

"Really? Cuz I just snuck in."

Both boys leave it at that because #1, a new friend. And #2 you've got to be really skilled to make it this far.

Also keeps you far away from Hisoka

Like he legit fears for your life and will not let you fight him.

He's seen that clown up close and personal and doesn't want you to get hurt or, knowing hisoka, worse.

"Hisoka gave me a lollipop and told me to meet him outside."

"SPIT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW!"

Now while Gon's ditzy, he's nowhere near as clueless as you.

You're lactose intolerant?

Then why are you downing cheese sticks like you're never gonna eat again?

I'm sorry? You're allergic to shellfish?????

WHY ARE STILL EATING GNAWING ON A CRAB LEG!?!? STOP YOUR FACE IS TURNING RED!!!!

Please stop jumping into lakes to catch fish. 🥺 

You're gonna get sick and Gon wants to show you how to fish 

There is no babying

You ARE the babies.

Buuuut, Gon will mother hen you after every fight because you're ten times as reckless as him.

You got stabbed once during a fight, and instead of moving back, you pushed yourself further into the blade just to punch your attacker.

Which resulted in a huge lecture from Killua while Gon tried to stop the bleeding.

"If I see a light, should I go towards it?"

"NO!"

Tbh Gon really doesn't have any nicknames for his friends. At most he'll just introduce you as one of his best friends.

He doesn't have it in him to be mean spirited towards you like a certain assassin. 

Has a habit of encouraging your bad ideas instead of shutting them down.

Make no mistake, he knows they're awful ideas, but you're trying.

And Aunt Mito says it's the effort that counts.

Speaking of Mito 👀👀👀

She adores you

Surprisingly, you're very helpful in the kitchen.

Just not around knives, which she realized after you sliced through the cutting board.

She also likes how responsible you make Gon.

He's more observant and careful when you're around.

To put it simply, he loves you and Killua with his whole heart.

Two of the most important people he'd do just about anything for.

MASTERLIST

[twig-tea]

Love in the Big City TV Series Episodes 7 & 8: Different Flavours of Hope

Like almost everyone else has said, writing about this last part was so difficult. Partially there's so much that was going on, partially I'm afraid to not do this amazing series justice, and partially I'm just not ready to let go. Thanks one last time to @lurkingshan and @bengiyo for putting together the discussion questions and roundup.

I thought it was interesting that this section of the series added Eun Su's proposal fiasco, Yeong's father making an appearance, and the details of Q/Habibi having a wife and child to the material from the book. All of these additions are related to marriages in which the people involved are not happy, whether because they don't fit together and are getting married to stay together (Eun Su), they have another family hidden away (Yeong's father), or they are gay and feel as though they have to cheat in order to get fulfillment (Q). With these examples of all the ways in which marriage can go wrong, ending the series with the main character and all (or most) of his friends single feels much less bleak.

@lurkingshan wrote about how the addition of Eun Su's storyline helped underscore the importance of being authentically ourselves in our relationships, and I was left with the sense at the end of the series that Yeong was ready to show up more as himself than he has at any earlier point in his life.

In the book, the ending hit me harder. Young and Habibi miss the fireworks, and Young wanders into a courtyard of a stranger and cries in the rain; and then we get the flashback to the lantern scene as the final moment. I ended the book thinking Young had started finally feeling his feelings, the first step in being able to move on. I didn't really think he would ever be with Gyu-Ho again, but that he could still find love again and that this time he might be better equipped to keep it, if he kept on that path. But the moment that we're left with, he is still very much in that first stage of processing, and it hurts.

In the series, we get Yeong with the T-aras watching the fireworks, then the lantern scene bleeding back into Yeong and the T-aras, with Yeong's voiceover ruminating about love. Moving from a scene of love and hopelessness to a different kind of love (queer friendship) and hopefulness was a powerful visual end to the series. I think it's significant that he didn't miss the fireworks in this version. We were moved quickly in the series from the despair to the hope, which overall means it was a slightly easier watching experience but I took longer to process my emotions around the ending than I did reading the book.

Speaking of the lantern scene, I go back and forth on the change from "Gyu-Ho" to "love" in the "my only wish" line. On the one hand, Gyu-Ho as Young's only wish was powerful to me because in a way it was selfless; you could read his wish for Gyu-Ho to be not about keeping Gyu-Ho for himself, but for Gyu-Ho to be happy, which is why he makes him go to Shanghai alone. Or, you could read that as self-sabotaging because Young makes sure that he doesn't get to keep the only thing he wished for. On the other hand, in the series, Yeong sees Gyu-Ho and 'love' as interchangable, which is pretty powerful. And his wish being for 'love' means there's more than one way to fulfill it, which fits with the more hopeful tone of the series overall. In the end, I'm glad we have both versions.

The series also felt more hopeful that Gyu-Ho might return. Yeong moving out of Mi Ae's apartment was significant from a moving on perspective, but we still know Gyu-Ho will be returning to Seoul soon (thanks to the bartender) and they must still have each other's numbers and social media accounts. There is definitely more room left open in the series for a second chance. i keep thinking about how Yeong ruminated on the thought that Gyu-Ho never felt like he had a place to make his own, and when he had the chance, Yeong moved into a blank slate and brought as little as he could.

Picking up from that thought about discarding as much as he could, in the series, moreso than in the book, the mattress(es) are a powerful visual metaphor. Gyu-Ho moves his mattress in next to Yeong's, so even when they are living together they aren't quite one, but rather awkwardly sharing space in (as @bengiyo put it, an apartment that was too small). After Gyu-Ho has left for Shanghai, Yeong tosses his mattress, and we see the stain on the sheets that Yeong has been unable to wash out on his own bed--he's still in the mire of his post-breakup depression a year later. His father (who as we recall had a secret family and, once Yeong's mother left him, was absent from Yeong's life) shows up to try to garner favour once Yeong starts winning awards and gives him a mattress, which Yeong unwraps with a one-night stand from the apps, and which turns out to be carcinogenic. He lugs the mattress downstairs and leaves it on the side of the road. Finally, when he moves out, we see him leave his other mattress in the same spot, and move into his new bare condo without any of that old, stained, toxic, ill-fitting baggage.

Lastly, I'm going to call out a visual metaphor that was also in the book but worked so brilliantly in the series: The ceiling fan as a metaphor for Kylie hanging over their heads as Gyu-Ho and Yeong had sex in that cheap hostel without condoms was incredibly powerful. The way the camera was above the fan, so that our visuals were blurred, and we could feel the anxiety hover over what was otherwise a sweet scene? stunning. And it was interesting how the series connected that back to Q/Habibi with his temporary blindness. There's something in there about fear making us blind and not living life to the fullest, but I've already gone on too long and haven't quite figured that thread out yet so I'll stop there.

I was so grateful the novel translation exists, and now I'm even more grateful this adaptation exists. It is so rare for an adaptation to capture so much of what was beloved in the original while adding its own nuances that make it work in the different format. The actors, directors, crew, everyone clearly worked hard on this series, and it came out beautifully. So many tiny details make the visual and audio tapestry of the series so rich, I will definitely be rewatching to find things I missed. It's not a light story, but for so many of us this is closer to our own lives, and sometimes as lonely as a series like this is, it makes me feel less alone to see some of my experiences played out on screen. I cried so hard watching this series, and I am so thankful for the experience.

And thank you to everyone here on tumblr in the litbc book club for making this watching experience that much more powerful and interesting! I have had a fantastic time.

[reve-writes]

—why are you at the wake? [2]; leon kennedy.

ʚ leon kennedy x reader | resident evil | 2,4k words. ʚ chapter one. | he wishes he can hate you, but when push comes to shove, he can't help but come to your aid anyway. ʚ non-canon timeline, loosely based on leon's mission to save ashley but most of the details are made-up; injuries; violence; profanity; reader is morally grey (?); suicidal ideation. ʚ a/n long notes from me at the end if you want to read through it.

“We can rest up here. Wait for evac.”

Leon closes the door behind Ashley after she enters. The room is not too big—enough to have space for himself, but also small enough for him to keep an eye on the President's daughter. There are windows for quick escape, covered by grimy curtains that shield them from view, just in case any infected villagers wander this far out.

“Are we safe, Leon?”

The blond girl is shivering. The two of them are drenched from head-to-toe. The rain outside doesn't look like it's letting up anytime soon, too. They're alive. A little cold, but alive. That's all that matters to Leon for now.

“Yeah. We're fine.”

A beat barely passes after he finishes reassuring her when the door swings open with a hard thud. Ashley lets out a startled shriek. Leon has his handgun ready and aimed at the figure stumbling inside. He curses under his breath, already standing to shield Ashley from the doorway.

You slump forward to the floor, the door closes behind you with a quiet click. Breathing heavily, you look up, thinking that you've stepped one foot into death's door. Maybe you've chosen the wrong house. Maybe you've stumbled into a hostile and they're ready to hack you down with an axe.

You blink the rainwater out of your eyes. It doesn't take longer than a second for you to recognise him.

Your posture loosens, shoulders slumping as you heave against the door. Your pistol clatters from your hand, freeing it to push against the blooming red wound on your side.

“Hey,” you stutter out, breathing still very laboured, but you try to sound casual, as if you're not potentially bleeding out to death on some filthy hardwood floor. “Just—give me a second. I'll get out of your hair.”

“Who are you?”

You don't recognise the girl. You assume she's his mission.

“It's okay,” Leon answers for you. His gun is returned to its holster. “We know each other.”

Know is an understatement. You know each other, yes, but also so much more than that. You know the brand of shampoo he has in his bathroom. He knows how you like to take your beverage. You cut the bread crust from his toast for breakfast. He lets you take the olives from his dish because you love them. You haven't eaten an olive in years because it reminds you of him.

“Co-worker?” the girl asks.

“Was.”

Past tense.

“Hi.” You wave meekly towards the girl and tell her your name. She tells you to call her Ashley. You dart your eyes to Leon. Even though he's silent, you can sense the anticipation in his pose, as if he's expecting you to just go and shoot Ashley the way you did to Tracy.

Sighing, you kick your pistol towards him. It skids surprisingly smoothly over the floor, landing just beside his boots. “Calm down, Leon. I don't intend to kill her.”

He stares at the pistol for a second, recognising the carving along its grip. Your initials. He remembers being the one who scratched them into the wooden material. His glare returns to you.

You're a walking contradiction. You left him back then, bid him farewell so coldly without much of an explanation. There was so much blood. The blood of the one he was supposed to protect—the two of you were supposed to protect. He didn't understand until he was told that your loyalty had defected.

He still doesn't understand why you changed your mind as easy as turning the palms of your hand. Doesn't understand why you abandoned him. It frustrates him. That frustration bears fruits of anger. The anger burns with so much hatred for you.

He realises that he, too, is a walking contradiction. He hates you for what you've done. He hates you for what you didn't do. The hatred grows everyday, but it grows along with the longing to see you again. It tries and fails to grow over all the love he has for you. All the love he doesn't know where to put now.

“Do you have a death wish?” Leon sneers. “I told you to stay away. You can't help yourself, can you? Always so stubborn.”

Ashley looks taken aback by the hostility. For all the time she's known him, he has been nothing but kind. A reassuring presence.

“If I had known you were in here,” you hissed. “I wouldn't have entered. Believe me, I'm not purposely trying to seek out the person who wants me dead.”

You inhale, tightening your jacket around you. “I'll take my leave.”

“That's what's best for the both of us.”

You push yourself off the ground, despite the tremble in your legs. A surge of light-headedness wash over you and you fall, barely catching yourself with your hands. Leon doesn't even think before he surges towards you, already placing a hand on your shoulders. His eyebrows knit together.

“Fuck,” you curse, swallowing hard. Your face is blanched. You clench your eyes shut in an attempt to recenter yourself.

“What's wrong?” His voice is gentle. His eyes scan over you to analyse the situation. “Dammit, ___. What's wrong?”

“Fine,” you breathe out, biting your lip. “Nothing's wrong.”

“Something is clearly fucking wrong,” he mutters, tugging on your jacket, noticing the unmistakable slick red of blood. “Jesus, ___. What happened?”

You lean back against the door, letting him tug the jacket off of you. You huff out a laugh. “You used to ask before taking my clothes off.”

He doesn't laugh. Not even a snicker. “What happened? — Ashley, can you find any medical supplies?”

Ashley immediately starts moving around the room, pulling out drawers haphazardly.

“Come on, it was funny.”

He says your name with a heavy emphasis. “I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong.”

“You don't want to help me, Leon,” you sigh out. “I killed Tracy, remember?”

This is pathetic. You've accepted your death way before it happens. Maybe, years ago, you would be more willing to put up a fight, struggle like hell for just one more day. But you're tired. So fucking exhausted of the missions and the guilt slowly eats you alive.

Leon pushes up your shirt slightly, trying to locate the source of the wound. He's so angry at you for giving up that his hands shake. He's biting down on his teeth so hard his jaw is starting to hurt. You can't die. He won't let you, even when you're so willing to walk yourself to your grave. He won't let that happen. He can't.

What will he do with all this hatred then? All this love?

His hand is smeared with your blood when he places them under your chin, turning your face towards him.

“Tell me what happened right now.” His eyes frantically search your face. “Or — or I'll never forgive you. Not if you die right here, right now. I won't ever forgive you.”

His voice shakes. He's making a demand but it comes out as a desperate plea instead. Ashley kneels beside you, setting down a tin box cramped with medicines and first-aid supplies.

You let out a scoff. “You of all people know I deserve to die right here, right now.”

“Stop wasting time, ___.” He's begging now. Panic sinks into his bones as all the colour drains drom your face. “Let me — You have to let me save you. I can't—”

His vision blurs. He takes a deep breath and blink the pooling tears away. “Please.”

Stop. You want to yell at him. If anyone should be pleading for anything, it was you. With your heart in your throat, you whisper, “Okay.”

“Okay,” he clears his throat. “Okay, what's the damage?”

“Knife,” you wheeze out. “A cut, I think, on my side. There — Stop looking at me like that. It's not as bad as it looks. I've just been bleeding out for a while, trying to get away.”

He's capable. It's not a handful of times he's ever had to patch himself or you up from various injuries. His hand works swiftly, disinfecting and suturing the laceration, ignoring your little quips and sounds of protest. He keeps his focus, even when everything feels so unsteady around him.

It's not until your wound is dressed in bandages and the bleeding ceases that he lets out a relieved sigh. The tension in his shoulders melts away.

“You really do have a death wish.”

One corner of your lips quirks up. “You have no idea.”

“Don't die, ____. Let me hate you in peace. You owe me at least this much.”

“You can still do that when I'm six feet under.”

“I can't do that, so” —his jaw tenses— “don't die.”

You only hum in response.

“I mean it.”

You roll your eyes, biting back a smile. “I'll try not to.”

He moves around the room, gathering blankets and cushions to bring towards where you're seated. He's unsure if he can move you without reopening your wound and he doesn't want to risk it. Not when you've lost so much blood. The silence stretches long, accompanied by the constant pitter-patter of the rain splattering on the roof over your head.

“Where's Ashley?”

“Other room,” Leon replies. “She looked like she was going to throw up.”

“Understandable.”

It's silent againt. He props a pillow behind you and spreads a blanket over you. You scrunch your nose.

“Smells like shit.”

“Half the smell is your fault.”

You roll your eyes, trying to focus in the earthy soaked-dirt scent the rain brings instead of the metallic tang left behind or the stench of the old blanket covering you.

“Thank you, Leon.”

“Why did you do it?”

He blurts the question out as you're expressing your gratitude. The room is quiet enough that you still catch his question. His gaze falters, moving to scan over the wall to your right instead of directly looking at you.

“Does it matter?” You ask, tasting bitterness on your tongue. “The reason doesn't change the fact that I still did it.”

“That's the thing.” Leon walks over to where your gun lies on the floor to pick it up. “It doesn't seem like you want to do it. Hell, if there's one damn thing I know, it's that you cared for her. So, help me understand this. Why did you do it?”

His thumb traces over the wooden grip, turning the pistol over in his hand as he walks up to you. He stops at the ridges of your initials, turning to look at you questioningly.

You gulp. “It's — It's the same one.”

The same one he gave you all those years ago. The same one that got you out of Raccoon City. The same one you kept using mission after mission since then.

“This is what I mean.” Leon sets the pistol down by you, taking his place to sit next to you, facing you. “If it didn't matter to you, you wouldn't have kept this.”

Your throat feels dry.

“I keep running it over in my head, trying to pick out what's real and what's fake,” he admits, grabbing your hand in his. His calloused fingers rub over your hand, “and I can't. Everything feels real.”

Because it is real. Can you tell him, though? You don't want to put that on him—the burden of someone's life.

“From Raccoon City. Then, everything that we were after that up until—” He lets it hang in the air. Your ultimate betrayal. “You can't tell me everything was a fucking act and expect me to believe it.”

You want to reach out, desperate to smooth the creases on his forehead, brush your thumb over the plump of his lips. He's so close—the closest he's ever been in the past five years.

He's not stupid. You know he's not. He knows none of this adds up. You were with him for over a year since your faithful meeting in Raccoon City. You were recruited by the government together. You survived together. You even—

It was never official, but you had something. He had told you he loved you and you had said it back.

Then, you left. You said you were working for someone else. Always had the whole time. It didn't make sense.

“They made me choose.”

Your answer comes after a long silence. Too long that Leon has already given up and gotten lost in his own head. He's not sure if he's hearing you correctly, not sure if you've even spoken in the first place. He blinks, searching your eyes.

You clear your throat. “Either they kill you or i kill her.”

“What are they going to do? Huh?” He scoffs. “I would've been able to—”

“That's not a risk I wanted to take,” you retort. “You're capable, yes, but you can't expect me to gamble on your life.”

“You shouldn't have made that choice for me,” he snaps, swallowing harshly. “She died because you were a coward.”

“Yes.”

“Her death is on me, too.”

“I pulled the trigger.” You're reliving it now and it does nothing but worsen your headache. “It's on me.”

There's no taking it back now. You'll have to tell him the whole truth and so you did. How your employer 'recruited' you as you were escorting Tracy Miller, how they threatened your life, and when it didn't work, they threatened his instead. You've been stuck working with them since. Being labelled a traitor by the government. It's not ss if you have much of a choice.

You're blinking away tears as you close out your explanation. “They sent me here to investigate whatever's happening here. I didn't know you were here until I landed. If I'd known—”

His attentiveness spurs you on as you're stringing sentence after sentence together frantically, spilling out everything that has gone unsaid the past five years.

“Do you regret it?” He asks after a beat of silence passes.

“Every single day, but I would make the same choice again.”

He sighs. “We were a team, you know. Maybe we could have done something if you had talked to me.”

You bite your lip. “I'm sorry.”

“I know you are.” He tilts your chin up towards him. “Just don't ever do that again. Don't put my life above anyone else's.”

You pull back, turning away from his gaze. “I'll try.”

He grabs your hand. “It's okay. It'll be okay. Let's just — leave this all behind, yeah?”

Your eyes widen, some of the weight on your shoulders suddenly sloughing off. “What are you saying?”

“We should go. Somewhere Asia, maybe? Disappear from this mess,” he says it with too much certainty. It sounds easier than it actually is. “Leave this all to rot. It'll just be us.”

“Can we?”

He nods resolutely.

[ ]

i'm the first to admit there are so many plotholes in this fic and the timeline is confusing, but basically: raccoon city incident > one year into government recruitment is when reader's forcefully recruited & ordered to kill tracy > for 5 years after that. reader works for the same people who recruited them still. > six years since raccoon city, reader crosses path with leon (who's trying to save ashley graham). reader met leon during raccoon city incident and they were inseparable ever since, becoming lovers. also obviously sherry isn't really a part of this bc leon joined the secret agent to protect her. the ending won't work if she exists. ive been sitting on this for a couple of days because i don't know how to properly end fics?? i imagine reader and leon packing things up (after getting ashley home) for a rural town far far away from all the resident evil chaos, living their best domestic life, trying to heal themselves from their past. i realise i shouldve planned this better because having the reader murder someone is SUPER HARD to justify when writing this part. i wrote myself into a corner. i kept thinking that there's no way in hell reader would get forgiveness??? the titles for the two part are taken from taylor swift's my tears ricochet. it's an angsty song about betrayal. that's it from me. thank you for reading!

[theunholybastard]

Hi! This is my first time sending a request for anything 😅 but I was wondering if you could maybe write about the era 5 ghouls/ghoulettes comforting the reader while they're on their period? Basically, it's just comfort/fluff. My favorite is Phantom and I feel like he'd be such a sweetheart 🥹

Hi, lovely! 👋 I'd be honored to take your first request! I didn't know how exactly you wanted me to write it, so I just went with some little headcanon blurbs. Lmk if you want me to rewrite a drabble/full length fic of any specific character/s and I'll get to that when I have the time. <3 Enjoy!

Era 5 Ghouls/Ghoulettes Period Comfort Headcanons

(CW - Brief mentions of period sex/blood kink for Swiss and Sodo/Dewdrop)

Phantom:

He's a little confused, but he's got the spirit.

His knowledge on the human body, especially the female anatomy, is limited, so he's not entirely sure how to help you. He is however, a great listener, and is always willing to do whatever you ask of him to make you feel better, no hesitation.

Building off of him being a great listener, he's also more than down to just listen to you complain. Whatever you choose to talk about, period-related or not, he is sat, intently listening to every word.

He's a very curious ghoul - he wants to hear about your feelings, he wants to know what's making you feel the way you feel, and how to make it better.

Food is his love-language. Always ready to pick up whatever food you're craving at the moment, at any time. Wake him up at 2 A.M and say you want ice cream? He's immediately out the door to get ice cream. (and picking up some cookie dough for himself, too.)

Three words: Food, Movies, Cuddles. Snacking with you, bodies intertwined, while watching your favorite movies, is his own personal Heaven. (ok maybe Heaven isn't the right word but ykwim)

He's a messy eater, so make sure not to let him eat in your bed. Other than that, you're in good hands.

Rain:

If you like physical affection, you're in luck, because Rain is the unofficial King of Cuddles™️

Babies you, but not in the belittling way.

Yes, he knows you can get out of bed and do things yourself, but why would you so much as lift a finger when you have him to pamper you?

Sings to you and plays guitar for you

If you're ever feeling self-conscious during this time, he will do anything and everything in his power to make you feel beautiful

Compliments you any chance he can get, brushes your hair for you, has skincare nights with you (loves floral-scented face masks and those cucumber eye masks)

He makes sure you are very well taken care of

Mountain:

Also babies you, but unlike Rain, it does feel a little belittling. He means well, though.

Freaks out over you just getting out of bed to use the bathroom. Insists he carries you because you're "too weak and fragile to do anything in this state."

You're pretty much bedridden for a week, sorry.

Prepares healthy meals for you, loves hearing you compliment his cooking.

Insists that nature is the best medicine. Opens the windows to get you some fresh air. Will gladly go on walks with you if you manage to convince him you're fine and perfectly capable of movement.

Picks you fresh flowers

Plays with your hair to help you fall asleep

Sodo/Dewdrop:

Also doesn't really know how to help you.

Just kinda treats you like normal, unless youre having pains

Offers you painkillers, but if you'd rather not take medicine, he'll rub your stomach, your back, whatever area is bothering you.

Lucky for you, he's got the body temp of a furnace. He's your own personal heating pad.

Also suggests orgasms help reduce cramping. Doesn't push it, but he makes sure you know he doesn't mind parting the red sea

Swiss:

Oh Lord. This man. Is so horny.

Obviously he doesn't press if sex isn't something you're interested in during this time. He'll find other ways to comfort you. Though sex is his favorite way to do it.

LOVES giving massages. He'll lay down one of those hydrophobic blankets so you can free bleed while he gives you a full-body massage he might get hard

Very touchy. Cannot keep his hands off you. Constant cuddling.

Builds you a little nest of pillows, blankets, stuffed animals, anything soft and comforting to you that he can find. You basically live in a blanket fort for like a week.

You can talk to him about anything period-related. Don't bother sparing the gruesome details, TMI does not exist with him. Nothing you could say would shock him.

Cirrus:

Princess treatment, 24/7.

Fawns over you when you're having cramps, not leaving your side until you feel better.

Tells you silly stories or gossip to distract you from your cramps. Anything to get a smile out of you. Shes the ultimate yapper gf (except for maybe Aurora)

Self care nights! Bubble baths, painting each others nails, doing each others makeup, braiding each others hair (or you could just braid hers if your hair is too short)

Whispers words of affirmation in your ear as you sleep in hopes it will make you subconsciously feel better

Cumulus:

Tells you she will personally fight God for giving you a period. Mainly just to make you laugh. But she would if she could.

If Rain is the Cuddle King, then consider her the Cuddle Queen™️

So soft. So comfy. You are in for some GODLY naps.

Cooks for you and insists on feeding you herself (she's been tempted to go "here comes the airplaaane!" but she doesn't want to risk pissing you off)

Cleans up your space for you so a dirty environment doesn't cause you additional stress. Will scold you like a disappointed mother if you try to take over the work.

Sings you to sleep

Makes sure you have a comfy place to relax and a nice full belly at all times

Aurora:

Shes really not as helpful as she thinks she is, but she tries.

Shes a very energetic ghoulette, so if your idea of comfort during this time is doing as little physical activity as possible, she's gonna be a bit out of her element.

Offers to go on a run together, swearing it's the best distraction for if you have cramps.

But if you'd rather stay in bed, she will oblige. She does love cuddles. Shes very touchy.

She uses your period as an excuse to buy a shit load of candy. She ends up getting a stomach ache because she ate most of it and now you have to comfort her. At least she's cute though

Gets excited if your cycles are synced up because that means you two can free-bleed together

Brings home little trinkets for you like a crow

[eddiestightywhities]

eddie gets shot, and reaches out.

he reaches with barely creeping fingers, the only parts of him he can move; the other parts too scared, he thinks—not of raining bullets, or pain, but of giving too much of himself away. but his fingers are traitors, and they reach out without his permission as eddie lays there, on his bad side, bleeding, bleeding out, because he's shot again, he realises, and maybe done for, this time. but at least this time he's not alone with what could be the end, because he sees him there, right there, in front of eddie. always there, always near, always right here.

and then eddie drops to the ground and reaches out again, and is reaching out now, reaching out and out, till he can't reach anymore. then he plays hell with his free will and biology, and reaches some more.

but then eddie can't see him—where did he go? he turns away, turns over (cause he really needs to find him), turning onto his back to look for him, and telling himself it's a good thing, really, if he's gone. wouldn't want him to watch and stick around for the end.

then he thinks, is this it, then, this time? is my time up? am i done? can i rest, now? and he's glad on his own, truth be told, for thinking like that. because he needs to get back to his boy, his son. and to—him.

but there's no hiding behind sandhills, this time, no one to helicopter to him, this time, can't swim up, up, up, not this time around, because he's not down a well, this time, not drowning, this time, not out in the desert in the valley of death, this time, not here, now, he's just out in the open with his senses tuning out, in the middle of the street on the hot LA asphalt with only a little of the blood he needs still inside his body.

but it's okay. it's fine. they absolutely should not come save his sorry ass 'cause it doesn't sound safe out here, at yet another end of the world. there's gunshot and screams and petrol on fire, and they should get away, they should get to safety. they do right, to go! go! go! and get away and be safe. please, dios, please just help him be safe. eddie needs his friend to live. beause he's so much more than that, than just eddie's friend, his best, best friend in all the world. he's chris's other parent. and he is loved, so much, by so, so many. and by eddie, too, eddie loves him. of course eddie loves him—loves him so, so, so, so, much, in the way others love husbands and wives and partners and best friends that they're in love with—so it's okay. it's okay. it's fine. this is what eddie wants, for him to go and be safe, to live and keep going, and keep breathing, and keep shining, and keep loving, loving, loving. keep on loving and loving eddie's son, because that might not be all that eddie wants out of the rest of his life but it's all eddie needs—that, and for him to be okay because he has the other half of eddie's broken heart, and eddie loves, loves, loves him... secretly, sure. but also wildly, fiercely, wholly.

and then the sun comes out when eddie sees him again, still there, still around, still here, with eddie, lying underneath the truck and looking like wildfire incarnate. then eddie's eyes flutter shut, like the stupid moth's wings when it flies kamikaze into the hottest part of the flame because he just can't keep them open anymore and can't quite be sure if he really is here afterall, or whether eddie's even here at all.

but still, eddie reaches out again. on instinct, regardless of it all, because of it all. still reaching, still burning, always burning, for him; since the earthquake, since the well, since he couldn't fucking help himself. because he's always there, always here, for eddie. always.

and eddie gets it, now, eddie knows, knows he would reach for him even if neither of them were here because proximity doesn't matter, not when you loves someone like eddie loves him. so eddie will always reach out for him, like he's reaching out now in what could be his very last moments, reaching out for him, for his friend, his best friend, his comfort, eddie's and christopher's whole world encompassed, the other half of eddie's life and love.

eddie's reaching out blindly for all of that. reaching for christopher, and for himself, for him, him, him: eddie's second best kept secret.

eddie gets shot, and reaches out for buck.

[simpingandshitposting]

Come Home

A/N: This is just a little bit of fluffy angst I was thinking about last night after watching the new episode. Aged up Deku, still in his vigilante stage.

Warnings⚠️: mention of blood and scars.

@electricnovaa @haru-x-ren @juslili

"Izu?" You called to the masked man a few feet away from you. He was quick to turn his head, emerald eyes glowing behind his disguise. He saw you, standing under the bridge to shield yourself from the pouring rain. Brows furrowed with a pained expression of worry painting your features. His eyes widened. "y/n?" He quickly rushed over to you, red sneakers splashing in the puddles of water beneath his feet. His gloved hands held onto your arms and looked you over for any damage. "What are you doing here? It's not safe. Are you hurt?" Panic in his voice.

You grabbed his face in your hands and stared into his eyes for just a few seconds. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight hug as the tears began to well in your eyes. He tensed, he hasn't had a moment in months where he felt it was safe to let his guard down. "I miss you, Izu." You choked out thru your tears. He sighed, his arms finally relaxing and caging you in. He held onto you tight. "I know...I'm sorry." He whispered, burying his masked face into the crook of your neck.

For a moment, the rain was the only sound that filled the space as the two of you just existed in each others arms. It was the first time in so long you'd been able to feel his warmth and you wanted to relish it for as long as you could. He broke the silence when he pulled away from you just enough to see your face, hands still on your hips just to feel you for a little longer. "You shouldn't be out here y/n. It's not safe for you to be anywhere near me I-" You interrupted him with a hand on his chest. "Come home."

There was a silent pause. You wanted so bad to read the look on his face, so you reached for his mask but he flinched. You waited, staring at the ripped, green fabric that was stained with dirt and blood. And when you reached for it again, this time he allowed you to remove it. As you peeled back the layer of his green armor, you saw the scars that littered his face, the dark circles under his eyes and the lack of life in his gaze. He was tired. Exhausted, drained, and worked to death. You cupped his face in your right hand and made him look you in the eyes. "When was the last time you slept?" He didn't answer. Mostly because he didn't want you to worry so much, but also because truthfully, he doesn't actually know the answer himself.

"Izuku please... you can't keep going like this."

"I'm fine—"

"Don't lie to me." He stopped and looked at you, eyes darting between yours trying to find his words. "I know you. You will say your fine when you are suffering." Tears rolled down your cheeks full force as you continued. "Please...don't pretend with me." He reached up and wiped away your tears with his gloved hand. He saw the pain in your eyes and it did nothing but break his heart.

"I can't come home just yet...I'm sorry y/n." Your head fell with a broken cry, more tears streaming down your face. "I haven't seen or heard from you for months." You lifted your head, meeting his eyes again with blurred vision. "No calls, no texts. Not even a note or something just to let me know you're okay. The only reason I know you're still alive is because I keep overhearing conversations about you. Most of which are from people who are terrified of you. It's like you've become this...thing that's just out of my reach. Like I know you're there, but I can't see, or feel, or speak to you." You continued to rant to him, venting all your built up emotions from the last few months. "I have been so fucking worried about you. Having no idea if i'll ever see you again or if you're bleeding out in an alley somewhere with no one to help." You sobbed, holding your head in your hands as you broke down in front of him. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest, like he was holding your pieces together so you wouldn't fall apart. "I'm sorry, I know it's hard... I never meant for things to get this bad." He held you while you cried shamelessly into his warm chest, tears staining his suit but he didn't care. "These past few months have been hell without you, Izu. I need you...please just—"

"Hey, look at me." He lifted your chin gently, making you look him in the eyes. "I promise I will come home to you, okay? I just can't right now. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you because I was careless. I hate every second that I'm away from you, y/n. I want nothing more than to have things back to the way they used to be." He paused and wiped your tears again. "I miss you every single day. You may not see me, but i've always been there, watching you the whole time. Making sure that you're safe." He pressed his forehead against yours and you closed your eyes. "Just hold on for me a little longer, puppy. Can you do that for me?" You opened your eyes and nodded, sniffling down your tears.

He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. "I love you." You felt him scoop you up in his strong arms and saw the flicker of green lightning. "Now let me get you somewhere safe."

[iamthecomet]

what if what if slice of life aether in the infirmary. what does he get up to all day? what are his little quirks? what does he do when there arent any sick siblings to help? does he have to shoo away (nicely) the ones that come in pretending to be sick just to spend time with him? does he actually like when they do that???

thoughts comet, pls give them ♡♡

Oh ABSOLUTELY I can share some thoughts! Not quite a ficlet, not quite headcanons, about Aether and his infirmary "job" under the cut.

Aether likes the infirmary best in the middle of the night. When he first got summoned he ended up on night shifts--better for training according to Omega. A good way to be eased in.

Aether knows it can get chaotic any time of day. And that he's lucky that this infirmary is relatively low key. They're not juggling trauma after trauma. Instead it's a lot of flu outbreaks and broken bones and stitches. The occasional childbirth. The rare devestating injury. But for the most part, it's quiet. Especially at night. Aether feels at ease on a night shift. Espeically now that so much of his pack is off on tour and he's back here--he doesn't have to think about his empty bed if he's here. The part of him that hasn't gotten used to it yet can just pretend everyone else is still here--asleep. It's sad he knows, but he's doing what he can. He makes his rounds. Smiling warmly at the siblings who also work nights. He's the only quint ghoul on duty. It makes the infirmary feel like his. It's not something he ever though he'd want--but now...now it's good. Feels right. He goes from room to room, peeking his head in. Checking vitals of sleeping patients, smiling easily at the ones who are still awake. Slipping into their rooms and talking to them. Doctor questions and regular questions. Where they grew up. What brought them to the Abbey. What they do and who they are, all while he digs into himself to lessen their pain, or their fear, or their insomnia. Allowing them sleep. When everything is quiet, and there is no drama, no chaos, no blood. Aether sits at the nurses station and reads a book. Scrolls on his phone. Texts his packmates. Shooting Dew and Mountain messages asking about their show tonight, what the crowd was like, where they went to eat after. Are they sleeping on the bus? In an hotel? Mountain responds with words, answers to his questions. Dew just sends him pictures. One of the crowd just before he walked on stage. Another of his burger and beer after the show. And then him in his bunk, dimly lit, sticking his tongue out at Aether from hundreds of miles away. The time differences make it easier, the further they get from him the more he talks. Aurora sends him pictures of every strange attraction she begs to stop and see. Swiss complains about Dew. Rain complains about Swiss. Dew complains about Aeon. Cirrus swears she's going to strangle Mountain. It makes him feel like he's with them. It makes him miss them less. Sometimes Sunshine comes and sits with him. Either at the beginning of his shift--or the end. Sitting down in the chair next to him and resting her head on his shoulder and taking in the quiet sounds of the infirmary. Machines whiring. Soft snores and sleepy breathing. A muted cry of a very new baby from down the hall. Aether is grateful for her. For the company, and because without fail, whenever Sunny shows up, so does someone else.

A bleeding sibling. A sick cardinal. Sister Imperator herself with a headache so bad it could wake lucifer himself. And sometimes, a sibling who just wants to sit with Aether. To know him. Who claims a belly ache, or a sore throat, just to feel the touch of his quintessence. He's not sure why. Doesn't think his magic does anything special to humans, but Aether isn't stupid. He knows a fake illness when he sees one. And if he was Dew he'd tell them to shove off. He'd scold them. But he isn't Dew and he doesn't. Aether likes people--humanity especially. So even though he can smell the lie on them, he helps. Always.

[abnormallynice]

TWEWY Joshneku City of Angels AU lets gooooooooo when you just gotta admit "who am I kidding Im never coming back to this even though I reaaally want to asdfgh I'll just post what I have"

[Wall of text of lore below~]

TW// Suicidal ideation Angels wander the city of Shibiya to lead spirits to the afterlife. They cannot be seen, unless they want to be and have no personal want of emotions or free will. They cannot feel the way humans do. Physically or emotionally.

Angel Joshua arrives to lead away suicidal teen, Neku. But he wavers and Neku decides against his decision. Joshua becomes intrigued by Neku when the teenager goes out of their way to save the life of another, when Neku was so ready to give up on their own. It's a spark of fascination for Joshua that quickly fades, as time goes on and the depressed-teen-turned-hero-friend fades to memory.

Years later and Joshua is doing the rounds in a local hospital when he spies a familiar face. Neku, now in scrubs, doing his medical residency. During a young patient's last moments, Neku refuses to let the child die and his eyes meet with Joshua's. Neku doesn't see the angel of course, but a familiar spark lights up in Josh. He begins to follow Neku's daily comings and goings in the hospital, then outside of the hospital. Despite careful (but entertained) warning from his angelic colleges, Joshua makes himself known to Neku, and only Neku.

Apprehensive and disbelieving at first, Neku eventually begins to believe this angel and they become closer (or as close as one can get to a being with little comprehension about Emotions). Neku decided on a medical career since the day he helped save a (now) friend's life. He wanted to help people but realized that the job was a lot harder on one's emotional and mental well-being. Unfortunately, you lose as many lives as you save in his profession. In talks with Joshua, Neku remembers another thing he loved to do: sing. He never had time to indulge more in this hobby, thanks to his studies but after Joshua mentions how he's got a nice voice, he begins to experiment with the idea of writing music. We also see the two try to make sense of Joshua's sudden interest in human free will, and thanks to a friend(?) of Joshua's, they locate someone interesting: a fallen Angel. He explains that when an Angel falls from Grace and obtain free will, they become human and receive all the pros and cons that come with it. However, it's not an easy thing for an Angel to do; physically and morally. Also fun fact: fallen angels can see other angels, all the time.

Regardless, Neku starts catching feelings for Joshua and the Angel finds himself mentally struggling to make sense of human attraction. It's like an itch he can never reach, much less scratch. Frustrated and unable to get through Joshua's hard shell (or understand his motives), Neku leaves Shibuya without resolution with Josh.

Joshua is an Angel assigned to Shibuya, and thus unable to leave to look for Neku. The time apart does something to him, and he feels what he believes is loneliness. Or heartache? Whatever it is, the thought of never seeing Neku again is horrifying. He does the unthinkable and Falls. When he wakes up, everything hurts. Hurts. He bleeds, his stomach turns from hunger, his eyes ache and tears stream down his face. But he's...happy. He feels exuberant joy. Joshua travels across the boundaries of his world, exits Shibuya and follows Neku's trail.

Neku answers the door to a rain-soaked, ripped clothing, feet bleeding, wide grin now-human, Joshua. He has little time to process the scene before him, before Joshua word vomits all these new sensations he's been having and confesses his feelings for Neku. How else can Neku respond but with a kiss (now that they can physically touch each other) and they spend the night together.

Neku later explains that he needed some alone time to think, so he cashed in a favor. He left to take a break, but then took the opportunity to make lemonade, so to speak. Neku used a friend's recording studio outside the city to write a song and record it. Upon hearing it, Joshua was brought to tears. It was beautifully melancholic, but hopeful. It suited Neku.

A few days on and the couple is relishing this time together... but disaster inevitably arrives. Neku leaves on a bike to retrieve some groceries, leaving Joshua behind with a "Be right back." Only minutes later does Joshua feel anxiety grip him and he knows something bad has happened. He runs the road that Neku took, finding the young man in the street, having been in a traffic accident. Neku mumbles something about a beautiful light, then dies in Joshua's arms.

The days both drag on and fly by as Joshua tries to now live as a human without the person he wanted to be human with. Despite it all, Neku had met good people and they help Joshua through his turmoil. Eventually, Joshua decides to release Neku's song to the world and it grips anyone who hears it. His life is lost, but his voice will live on and fill his (and others) world with music.

Congrats on making it this far please enjoy this [your favorite donut]

[skele-bunny]

ngl I could've sworn ud mentioned phantom having kits at some point(idk WHEN or WHERE but I could've sworn there was SOMETHING) so I was. Looking to ask for more and found the phantom/aether instead and Had To Know :3

now im just thinking of what adjustments would be made for phantom,,,, sure tour wouldn't last the whole pregnancy but he's little, they'd have to tailor stuff probably. and then DEW??? I'm assuming ?? In the fics where dew had calida, bc zephyr was present, it was during popestar tour, so there was NOTHIN to hide that baby, unless she was just rlly far back and close to the spine for him.

Ooo you might be thinking of Phantom/Dew/Swiss' baby Starlight!! (Also, note, not the same timeline for Calida and Comet! Two whole seperate timelines /info)

Ohh yeah it'd be much different then Dew's whole thing 😭 guy had NO way of hiding, tight ass uniform until he got upgraded to one of Zeph's uniforms, his bass was his only thing but even that didn't help all the time LMAO. Terzo tried his best okay 🫡 give my man his props wjekdk /silly Dewdrop was a runt, so while she was pretty far back and hidden and he didn't have much of a bump, it was still obvious the further he got until 8 months

Dew essentially took the entire back of the bus, even after Calida was born. They still had a tour to do. And there was orders that they couldn't just cancel, so now they're in a panic of what exactly to do. Dew doesn't feel safe at ALL leaving Calida with someone. So, a quick call, and Special is there. For "interviews", of course. He's hanging out in the green room the entire time, and during intermission Dew is right there. It's only a week like that before he's able to just curl in the nest with her and finally, FINALLY heal up. He's been bleeding nonstop from the constant strain, and finally started letting the others help him out.

Dew had a pretty rough and traumatic pregnancy & birth, but he doesn't regret how anything went one bit. His little sunshine is worth every single second of it.

Now, Phantom would've been taken care of more properly. They know more, there's more studies being carried out, more accessibility services for the ministry. It's a different era! Plus, he has a bigger pack with more diversity and similar instincts. Rain, Aurora, and Cumulus would be their biggest comforts. When they needs a good cry? Those 3. When he needs reassurance he'll be a good parent? Those 3. Just wants to be dotted and loved on? Those 3.

Mountain and Dew are his safe guards and their voice when he can't find it. One of the stagehands got irritated at Phantom bc he "wasn't doing anything and just standing around holding cords", and Mountain just glared so hard and quite literally told them to shut the fuck up. Picked Phantom up, sat him on his drum throne, and kept working.

Just like Dew would've been, he's not allowed to carry heavy items any more so they're stuck on cord duty, stick bag, and the softer percussion items. Not allowed to be alone, either. Slipped one time and that was already too many. Usually has someone accompany him to the bathroom, out and about in town, he just... Can't be alone. Honestly? It helps Phantom, too. Not only for safety but they feel better that someone is always there.

He's given permission for naps during set up once he's finished, and a lot of sitting breaks! Also like Dew, Phantom's anatomy is tiny. Aether wants them on bed rest as much as possible as he's a high risk essentially. So during shows you'll see him sitting on the steps or on Swiss' platform! He totally keeps up their silly antics the best he can that doesn't pose a risk!

Definitely tailoring, and has to have cooling pads placed in his uniform before performances as he gets super sick from the heat.

Silly thought I had midway writing this: Magick surges are still there and progressively gets worse the more he's along.

Phantom sneezes, and his guitar strings just break instantly.

Maybe they're crying really hard and sets off more light flickering before just shutting off their equipment completely.

Maybe a little rage fit because he's mad at themself, or just something that set them off, and Cirrus' phone short circuits and the screen cracks.

Pray for Aether. /Silly /aff

[13eyond13]

Hii! I don't know if you were asked this before, but I'm curious whether you prefer the manga or anime ending of death note and why? Also, your berserk meta posts are always such a delight to read!

Hi hi! It's admittedly been a long while since I've either read or watched the series at this point, so I took some time going back over my asks to see if I could find one where I'd talked about this before. Didn't come across one, but I've definitely contemplated this before, so I'll just do my best to remember what I thought.

So I like both of them in different ways, basically. But if I had to choose one over the other I'd choose the manga ending as the one that I prefer.

Here is a quick rundown of what I think are the biggest strengths and weaknesses of the anime ending:

The best things about the anime ending to me:

-Portrays the horrific awkwardness and tension in the warehouse between everybody leading up to and including Light's confession extremely well. I get so on the edge of my seat and anxious during the buildup to his big breakdown every time!

-Excellent voice acting and iconic laughter during Light's big dramatic Kira confession scene. Who DOESN'T remember that moment, it's definitely one of the anime's best

-Takes a slightly more gentle and merciful and quiet and melancholy approach to Light's death scene with the sorrowful music and the pretty sunset behind him, and takes the time to do things like flashback to his pre notebook innocent self, which is actually the only scene in the series that always makes me cry. Lets Light have a certain dignity and sadness to his death by allowing him to escape off by himself from the others and look as though he's drifting off slowly to sleep. For audience members who still empathize with Light on some level or see the sad side of how he was corrupted by the notebook this can be a choice that they prefer

-Gets so ridiculous and campy at certain points with things like Mikami stabbing himself to death with a pen and then exploding like a bag of blood that I can't help but laugh through the pain a bit

-Makes some nice aesthetic choices like having Light die symbolically on a staircase (which seems like a nod to the fact that he's going to Mu / an in-between or "nowhere" sort of place after he dies, or that he was stopped halfway up in his journey before he could truly attain the "godhood" he desired, and also seems like a bit of a parallel to the rain scene of him sitting on the staircase with L – also gives a little visual flashback nod to L during Light's final moments).

The worst things about the anime ending to me:

-Cuts a lot of important moments and stuff out of the conversations between Light and Near that really enhanced the overall meaning of the story and added to making Near a much more interesting and sympathetic character to me in the manga (particularly stuff like Near talking about what they have in common, and about letting other people have agency and freedom of choice, something that Light was uh not super great at)

-Did Mikami pretty dirty and cut most of his awkward interactions with Light in the warehouse (I feel like he doesn't even get to yell "you're not God!!" at Light in the anime, does he? I'm kinda forgetting now)

-Makes the SPK and the Task Force look a bit dumb and useless in how they're just saying stuff like "there's nothing we can do, he will be dead in a few minutes" while Mikami's bleeding out on the floor and just letting Light escape and run away from them all... also kinda makes it look like Light was SO wounded by the gunshots that he would've died soon anyway. Which takes away some of the dramatic impact that comes from Ryuk writing his name in the notebook!

-In the anime Ryuk seems almost to be writing Light's name in the notebook as a mercy killing, or like he's trying to put him out of his wounded misery, which I find detracts a bit from the whole idea in the manga that Light is forced to experience the same cold and cruel fate of somebody deliberately taking his remaining years of life from him with a death note against his will... something that he remorselessly inflicted upon so many others previously himself. The two of them also don't have any discussions before Light's death in the anime like they do in the manga, which were some pretty interesting and chilling parts of the ending to me (especially Ryuk saying stuff like "you're no longer entertaining me, so you should die right now" to him)

-There is no flashback in the anime to Light and Ryuk talking about EVERYBODY going to Mu after they die no matter how they behaved on earth, which was kinda hugely important as part of the point of the story to me (because I think it forces the audience to draw their own conclusions about who they think was truly good/bad or right/wrong in this story without pigeonholing any of them into one category or another, or by sending anybody to rewarding or punishing afterlifes... I also like that it doesn't treat the notebook users as any special category of person)

-As brutal as the manga ending is in how humiliated and frightened and alone Light is while he dies, I also think there's a certain poetic justice to the horror and embarrassment he experiences during that time. He was constantly taking other people's lives and treating them like pawns in his games, backstabbing and deceiving and discarding them once they were no longer useful to him, and even cruelly gloating over watching them die. I don't particularly enjoy watching him suffer except for how it is a bit narratively satisfying, in a tables-turning "you live by the sword you die by the sword" sort of way

-In general the anime kind of gave me the vibe that it thought Light losing in the warehouse was more about L's team finally winning against Light and getting revenge on him for L's death than about the deeper and more interesting philisophical/ethical questions and themes at play, and about all the entire cast of characters' journeys as a whole

--

Overall I'd say if you want a more narratively satisfying and logical ending with more food for thought and cruel irony and deeper character interactions and existential dread and poetic justice going on then the manga is superior in basically all of these ways

HOWEVER I do still also love the final episode of the anime, I think it's one of the best and most memorable episodes of the entire show, and if you decide to turn off your nitpicking brain a bit and simply enjoy the emotions that it conjures there are some very good dramatic/aesthetic/symbolic choices that it makes

[miasmaghoul]

now we obviously need to know ur best to worst list of sucking dick

OBVIOUSLY (this one may be divisive 👀)

best to worst, as always, under the cut!

Dew - a combination of enthusiasm, a major oral fixation and zero gag reflex earns Dew the top spot here. he'll never say no to having a cock in his mouth, whether it's giving Aether lazy morning head or helping Copia relieve some tension before a show. everyone loves his mouth, and he can take even Mountain to the hilt. sometimes he'll grab someone after mass just to drag them into a confessional to suck their dick.

Rain - the gills move him up the list, but Rain is also really, really good with his tongue. he can deepthroat almost as well as Dew can, though he does have to push past the initial gag to get there, but he doesn't always have to go all the way when he licks just right. he also enjoys casual oral cockwarming, just chilling in the common room with Swiss in his mouth for no reason other than the fact that he can.

Cumulus - she loves sucking dick more than a lot of things, if she's being honest. something about being able to take someone apart with surprisingly little work on her part is just delightful. she really likes it rough, too - loves when Rain sinks his fingers into her curls and uses her mouth like a toy, or when Aether has her hang her head over the side of the bed so he can see (and feel) himself in her throat. seeing and hearing their pleasure turns her on like nothing else.

Aeon - he took to cocksucking like a champ, truth be told, and it's become one of his favorite pastimes. they all like how eager he is, how bright-eyed and smiley he gets when presented with a dick. he gives real sloppy head, but no one minds the drool. he also has a cheap, floppy dildo in his nightstand exclusively to practice on. not that he doesn't have plenty of volunteers, of course, but sometimes it's nice to experiment with no pressure.

Aurora - there are things she enjoys more, but she really does like to be fed the cock of her choosing, sitting prim and proper on her knees with her mouth open and her tongue out. likes to be treated like a bit of a slut, likes to have a sticky head smeared over her lips so she can taste how much they want her mouth. she likes to have control once they're inside, though, because she does NOT want to gag.

Aether - has a very specific Thing for soft, floppy cocks. he loves the weight of them on his tongue, to the point where he sometimes bleeds a little sneaky quintessence into whoever he's working to keep them that way (it's usually Dew). he wants to be able to move it around in his mouth with his tongue, wants to coax little noises of frustration out when they realize they aren't getting hard. it's selfish and he knows it, but Aether can never get enough.

Sunshine - loves to lick, to kiss and to tease. she gags easily and doesn't really "suck" in the traditional sense, but will take the tip between her lips and bob her head until she tastes a little dribble of pre. the second she does, though, she's done. eager to get them inside her in a different way. also, on the rare occasion she does suck to completion, she would rather take a load to the face than swallow.

Cirrus - so here's the thing about Cirrus: she's just as skilled as Dew, but she will only put those talents to use when it is well earned. Mountain didn't cry when she caned him? he deserves a treat! Sunshine was an obedient little puppy? of course she gets a special reward! the only one that doesn't have to earn the privilege is Aether, because Cirrus knows that a few well-placed kisses to his balls will have the big guy whimpering with no other effort on her part.

Swiss - it's unfair to call Swiss bad at sucking dick. he's far from what anyone could consider bad, but what he is, is greedy. he wants what he wants, and how he wants it. that means sucking until they cum, and then for as loooong as he likes afterwards. to accept a blowjob from Swiss is to accept the risk of being overstimmed beyond what could be call reasonable. Rain is the only one who can take Swiss' worst.

Mountain - again, he's not exactly bad, but, as a rule Mountain does NOT enjoy having a dick in his mouth. he has a wicked sensitive gag reflex and his jaw gets sore very quickly, neither of which are conducive to giving good head. if he's gonna be down there, he'd rather have their dick in his hand and their balls in his mouth. every once in a while he'll let Aether or Aeon work a little magick on his throat so he can take them deep, but it really just isn't his thing.