#it doesn't even seem like jokes it's just mean?

[pomegranatesarchive]

can i order zabaglione featuring fred weasley? thank u so much

zabaglione: "did you know you talk in your sleep?"

view the menu here!

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Fred didnt mean to fall asleep, you knew that. He was just very very tired.

Planning pranks were harder than people thought, more time-consuming than people thought.

But now Fred and George weren't just planning pranks, they were planning to open a whole pranking shop. That differently took its sweet time.

Fred always made sure to make time for you, even when your relationship was new, he made it a goal to spend at least one hour a day together. No matter what was going on, he would make sure to give you your well-deserved hour.

Then he told you about his after-school plans with George, to open a joke store together. You thought it was amazing, but you knew that meant spending even less time together, and although it made you disappointed, you made the decision to downgrade your one hour together, to thirty minutes.

Initially, Fred didnt like that idea, claiming that he could manage, but you didnt want to stress him even more, so you put your foot down.

From that moment on it seemed like every moment you spent together went in a blink of an eye, you two barely had any time to talk about each other's day. You would never admit it, but it was horrible, you wanted nothing more but to spend time with your beloved boyfriend.

It was a standard morning when Fred waltzed up to you during breakfast and let you know that he had 'cleared his schedule' excitedly telling you that you were going to hang out all day, and he was going to take you to Hogsmeade.

You too had fun, he bought you everything you would glance at (mostly sweets) and after a while, you two went back to the common room, where you slipped upstairs to put away all your goods. You took no longer than maybe ten minutes. But when you trailed back downstairs, you found a sound-asleep Fred.

You frowned, walking over to the couch and looming over him, yes you knew it was bad that you were in some way mad at him for falling asleep, but you couldn't help it, you just wanted more time with him.

"Missed you..." Your head snapped down to him, for a second you had thought he was awake, but his closed eyes said otherwise.

'Thats creepy' you thought, sitting down by his head.

"No...no...come here..." you heard a soft whisper once more, your head snapped over, catching his mouth move, oh so he was joking.

"Not funny Fred," you smiled, shaking your head, waiting for him to jump up from the couch, which he never did. "Fred?" you whispered.

"Bad idea George.." he mumbled, turning to his side.

Your face brightened in realization, "Are you sleeptalking?" you asked as if he would answer.

It only took five more minutes for Fred to wake up, he sprung up from the couch, looking around the room widely, his frantic eyes landing on you, "Oh blimey did I fall asleep? I- I am so sorry love I didnt mean to-"

"Did you know you talk in your sleep?" you interrupt him, he pauses, moving over to sit next to you, his head making its way to your shoulder.

He hummed, "Used to," he murmured, "Creeped mum out bad. Why?"

"You were doing it," you smiled, leaning your head on his.

"Really?" he sounded surprised, "What was I saying?"

"Something about missing George."

Fred paused, his eyes squinting, "That doesn't sound right."

You laugh, head thrown back in laughter, Fred lifted his head and watched with a smile, "You know what does sound right?"

You hum, he smiled, pulling you into his arms, "Me missing you." he places a kiss on your head.

You peer up at him and blink, "Yeah that sounds right."

.

[funnier-as-a-system]

Anonymous out of SHAME, But is it okay for me (Someone who has never had a DID diagnosis and is effectively a singlet) to look at these types of posts??

Ive always felt kinda dirty like I'm infiltrating a community or trying to romatisize a disorder??

But I just always seem to find posts about DID and stuff more funny and even relatable in some cases, idk why? I really do not think theres any way I could even begin to have something like this!

Anyway yeah, is it wrong or weird for someone like me to read these types of blogs and posts, if it is I will completely put a stop to it! Id never intentionally harm this type of community!

No, it's not wrong at all, anon. If this were a world in which the act of reading blog posts hurt other people, this would be a very different world! We welcome all here, whether they're a system, singlet, someone with a disorder like DID who doesn't describe themself as either, or a secret fourth thing. You're not romanticizing a disorder or infiltrating a community by enjoying system jokes, so don't worry about that.

On another note, I just want to make sure something is clear: you don't have to have DID or any other disorder to be a system. All you need to be a system is to be more-than-one in some way, and there's many different ways to be that. If you relate to a lot of system stuff, perhaps it might be a good idea to reflect on why that might be, keeping all this in mind. If you say you're a singlet then I trust you on that, and I'm not saying that just relating to some posts automatically means someone is a system, but I want to make sure this is clear because I've seen many systems who didn't realize they were systems (whether they ended up discovering that they had DID or not) precisely because they thought they needed to have a specific disorder, or have specific experiences, or otherwise check all the boxes in a strict list of What All Systems Are Like™ in order to be a system. Which isn't true at all. Every system is unique, and the community as a whole is filled with variety – and thank goodness for that! This would be a very boring place if we were all exactly alike. But it's hard to take in all the different colors of a painting when you're looking at it for the first time, so people misunderstand and think all systems fit into One Specific Box, and if they don't perfectly fit into that One Specific Box, they couldn't possibly be a system. Again, this is untrue. And if you're relating to system posts without understanding why, it may be worth checking in with yourself to see if you've been suppressing anything due to a misunderstanding like that.

In short: You can be a system without DID, or even without any disorder, but regardless of whether you are or aren't a system, you are welcome here and aren't causing any harm by sticking around. We're glad to have you!

[emeraldsfanfics]

The Dark Knight

♤Rise!Turtles with a Batmanlike!Girlfriend!Reader!♤ ♤Headcannons♤

♡REQUESTS OPEN♡ Request rules here

《Leo》

》He thinks you are the most badass person ever and prouder he even pulled you

》At first you scared him while he was on patrol with his brothers. And out of nowhere a bat girl swooped in from the shadows and beating up the foot clan...solo and not dying

》Thought you were a mutant at first

》Then you just started interrogating one if them by your deep voice and lift them over a skyscraper, they folded immediately

》He was terried because you were so imitating and dressed in black. Like the boogeyman, scarier because you were a women

》On another patrol, he seen you again, followed you, until you appeared out of nowhere and asked him why he was following you

》Shocked you weren't weirded out by him, you simply told him you knew what he was. And you had been doing research about mutants

》When he is dating you, he is constantly bragging about it...especially to Donnie because of your technology, intelligence and company

"Yeah? I pulled her, oh! You don't have a rich cool superhero girlfriend? Well that's too bad." *checks his nails*

》Brings you to patrol as a secret weapon/interrogator

"Where is HE?!"

"I ain't talking, this height wouldn't even kill me"

"That's what I'm counting on." *drops the guy and breaks his legs.

*leo is swooning and thinks it's hot (not in a sexual way) "I love that woman."

》INSECURE! And gets even more petty when he is jealous. He'll start doing stupid stuff to impress you. To the point you'll have to reassure him you only have eyes for him

》doesn't help your the attractive introvert type

》jokingly calls you emo and slightly concerned about how much eyeliner you use

》You spoil him so much he is constantly bragging about it 😭

"JUPITER JIM DIMOND COVERED KEYCHAIN, HOW'D YOU GET THIS BABE?!"

"Money."

》finds your moral code weird, what do you mean you wouldn't kill but you'll beat them until they need medical attention?! But encourages it

》Has your merchandise and NOT ashamed of leaving them all over the lair and his room

》Gets you anything that has to do with bats, expect bat jokes. Lots of them

》You can train with him with ease, yes, you are better at combat. And you two spar with your gadgets/weapons (you always win in 20 minutes)

》When you revealed your secret identity to him, he is more in love.

'SHES SO BEAUTIFUL?! Stay cool Leo...'

》You'll even invite them over to your mansion, and they'll find any excuse to go. Because well...you have expensive stuff and cars...

》Leo annoys the HELL out of your butler, Alfred. You know Alfred is a BADASS and close to attacking Leo

》Sometimes youll get trumamtic flashbacks of the night your parents were murdered or other sadistic things you've seen. When Leo is there, he'll try shifting your focus on him, by watching a movie and snuggling with you.

》He secretly would've loved to meet your parents, they seemed like amazing people to you and Alfred

》Sometimes he thinks your planning gets over the top but he knows you have MAJOR trust issues

》When you are talking about detective stuff, he tries to listen but he just doesn't get it. So he's there staring at you like, "place name backstory stuff" so he loves it when you, and I quote, "talk smart"

》Steals your gadgets when you are away, you know but you let him get away with it. Even your mask at times and makes impressions of your raspy voice when in costume

"I AM VENGEANCE-"

*appearing from the shadows*"Leo what are you doing?"

"AHHH-"

》Now he has a mountain of batarangs in his room

》You have a tracker on him he doesn't know about

》Almost killed his brothers with your batmoblie

》You grounded him from kisses for a week, my boy was tweaking from just the first day

"Itsy bitsy BaTsy" *him in a corner with wide eyes going mental*

"Y/N YOU BROKE LEO AGAIN!"

》Genuinely worries when you don't sleep for days, even though you look attractive with tired eyes, he still tried to take care of you

》By getting Alfred having him help him with getting you to bed

》He always indicates any physical contact, kisses, hand holding, hugs ect.

》Loves when you suddenly save him during a battle? My boi in loveeee

》His life practically revolves around you

》Leo loves you and everything that comes with you <3

■Raph■

■Lowkey extremely terrified of you at first. You have a dark and cold demeanor AGH-stuff of nightmares

■Then, he seen you with children, you always had a soft spot for them. He probably fell in love right then and there

■He approached you like the gentlemen he is, that's when you two became friends, you admired his morals and overprotective nature. He just thought you were more cool the more he got to know you

■He confessed his feelings during a fight when you almost died this was your response:

"Please don't die on me! I-i love you"

"I knew..."

■Sometimes can't get over your deep voice when in battle, it catches him off guard

■Find your strength and workout routine intense but he would commit and do it with you. Also loves when YOU pick HIM up

■When dating he is a absolute sweetheart, a bigger one than before

■Has a batdoll merchandise plusbie he bought of you and sleeps with it every night

■And you spoil him with whatever he wants just because

"Where'd you get these rare accident ninja weapons?!"

"Money."

■Overprotective of you, yes he knows you can protect yourself AND others, but he can't help but worry about you and gives you medical attention

*you got back from a mission and take your mask off*

"Hey Babe, how was it?"

"Eh, nothing, just simply got thrown off a skyscraper, but I should be okay in an hour."

"That's nice-YOU GOT WHAT?! Let Raph take care of ya"

■Alfred absolutely adore Raph and Alfred sees Raph a son, which you find adorable

"Lady L/n, when will Raphael be arriving to the mansion once more?"

"OOH! Is Alfred gonna be there?!"

■Him and Alfred have a "Night Bat" code name for forcing you to sleep when you are up for days

■When you revealed your secret identity to him he's flabbergasted

"You're so pretty" like he's in a trance

■You two LOVE going in your gamroom and go agaist each other, yall get so competitive 😭

■We all know he is a perfect big boi, so of course he gives the best hugs and cuddles. Which you'll never admit to anyone...

■Yes, you have a tracker on him he doesn't know about, for safety

■NEVER admits it, but he finds it attractive when you suddenly save him, he gets SO RED

■Gets nervous to touch your expensive stuff, he just doesn't want to break anything :( and you assure him it's not a problem if he does, I mean, your filthy rich after all

■When you are talking about detective stuff, he gets...some of it. He's consitrating so much when you are talking about it with him but ends up tweaking

■When you wake up in a cold sweat, he has boyfriend senses and he'll comfort you for HOURS! No girlfriend of his will ever be lonely at times like this

*going through a trumamtic flashback*

*runs through your wall* "RAPH IS HERE BABY! DONT PANIC!" *has pillows and tea*

"How'd you even get past security-"

■You had to upgrade security and your walls

■Sometimes he wishes he could meet your parents, you also would like that. Kind of confirmed your parents would've loved Raph

■He loves the suit on you, yes, it looks intimating and scary, but knowing it's you in it makes it cool

■Insecure! He sees a lot of people admiring you, understandable, but still! He's just thankful your dating him and doesn't really get jealous

■Any that has to do with bats he'll get it for you this includes any eyeliner because of how much you use

■Admires your moral code, since he isn't big in killing either. But cool with torturing >:)

■THIS TURTLE LOVES PHYSICAL CONTACT GIVE IT TO HIM PLZ 🙏 because he is too shy to ask, even when dating

■He has a "I can fix her" mindset with you

■This boi will do anything for you and loves the feeling and YOU. Just you <3

◇Donnie◇

◇This boi thought you were a mutant because of your speed, agility, voice and strength. Also the bat thing I guess

◇Also the most intimidating thing he's ever cake across

◇In the most Donnie way possible, he approached you, that only resulted him getting pinned onto the wall by your surprising strength

◇he probably fell in love right then and there. AND by the fact you were human and able to take any mutant down

◇but, of course, he didn't want to show that, so you two somehow became friends after running into each other in patrols

◇also shocked when you don't freak out about...him. but you informed him you are doing a case about mutants

◇overthinked about confessing his feelings, I mean, you are hard to read when it comes to emotions, so he just went for it

◇he literally researched everything about being romantic, but like, what do you get for the girl who has everything...AN EXPERIENCE and he confessed his emotions

◇That's when you told him you knew and kissed him

◇I mean...your a detective...

◇when dating, you trusted him enough to reveal your secret identity

"By Newton, you are so stunning."

"What?"

"What?"

◇fanboying like a school girl on the inside that he is even dating you. Gets to the point when he'll forget he's dating you, then gets giddy when he remembers your his GIRLFRIEND

◇Like Leo, he BRAGS to his brothers or anyone

"That's awfully impressive, but my girlfriend does that for a warm up, not to brag."

◇doesn't admit but but WAS jealous of your intelligence and cool gadgets you invented

◇Has a batdoll of you he sleeps with every night and will never admit it

◇when you invited him to your mansion, he's shocked about how rich you are, like "ho, is you rich?"

◇should have known by the expensive clothes you wear 💀

◇YOU SPOIL HIM ROTTEN MY BOY HOOKED UP

"How'd you get this Atomic Lass limited edition golden 24k gold and Dimond figurine from 1982?!"

"Money."

◇absolutely encourages the amount of eye liner you use, he thinks it brings a little ✨️dazzle✨️ to your look

◇unintentionally ANNOYS THE HELL out of Alfred, my bristish man done

◇You are his secret weapon for mutants or interrogating anyone

"I'M going to get a cup of coffee" *leaves*

"Good luck with that" *cocky chuckle*

*appears from the shadows and throws a mutant 5x their size across the room* "WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!"

*SCREEECH*

"Oh she is so remarkable" *bro in love*

◇Always has to call a mystic medic when you fight a mutant

"I'm calling a mystic medic" *sees you beat their ass* "that's my girlfriend."

◇Embraces the violence you bring to the table

◇LOVES and HATES your moral code, he loves that you unintentionally beat criminals senseless. Hates that you won't end their lives, Lame.

◇Thinks you are the most badass person he's ever met

◇loves when you are telling him about detective stuff, he is genuinely interested in learning this field about science

◇Sometimes he is worried about you when you come here extremely injured, there was a time when you came back with a bullet in your arms. So, he insisted he nurse you back to health

◇there are times when you wake up from a traumatic flashbacks about missions or your parents, he gave S.H.E.L.D.O.N a "cry cry" protocol. It's just him giving you a plushie of himself saying, "please don't cry beautiful" until Donnie actually gets there

◇You are S.H.E.L.D.O.N's mother

◇makes any excuse to come over, totally not for your cool technology and gadgets...no

◇Donnie is extremely insecure when it comes to you. You're attractive, smart, rich and talented. Doesn't help your the attractive introvert type. And there are a lot of human guys out there he sees trying to get close to you

"Scoff! He's not even as smart as me! He's not even as buff as me!"

◇hates he can't do anything about it, he would love to torture them >:)

◇Please reassure him and compliment him 😭

◇There was a time he was kidnapped, you came and defeated 100 mutants easily, you just came home carrying him bridal style, he was so ashamed you had to save him but thankful, more than thankful

*looks at you with puppy eyes* "I love you."

◇Would sometimes steal your gadgets to give them the "Don upgrade" that would typically mean he would make them more lethal

◇Has stolen your batmobile more than ten times, you'll hear his manic laugh in the streets

◇You both don't sleep for days, so either Alfred or Raph would force you two to sleep

◇Donnie thinks your workouts/even warms ups are too intense

◇You both spar a lot, which results in an hour long battle

◇Donnie would give you and invent you anything that has to do with bats or can help you with gadgets

◇Donnie initiates physical contact believe it or not. Sometimes he'll get touch starved with you. Preferring hand kisses and forehead kisses.

◇This boi cherishes and very proud of you, he just loves you so much <3

☆Mikey☆

☆When he saw you, he immediately thought you were so cool! Mutant or human, he wanted to know you

☆He decided to approach you, not seeing him as much of a threat, you replied, that was the start of a beautiful relationship

☆Mikey is very emotionally intelligent, so he immediately recognize his feelings for you

☆Not panicking, he simply was upfront with you while being his adorable self

☆He was kind of flabbergasted when you told him you knew...

"H-how did you know...?"

"I'm a detective." *kisses him*

☆When dating you only seen that Mikey is an adorable agent of chaos, but hey, you are too

☆Absolutely loves the amount of eyeliner you put on! He'll even ask for you to put some on him

☆CRAFT DATES! You two cherish those dates, you do it in your art room in the mansion, which is Mikey's favorite room in the mansion

☆When you revealed your secret identity, he immediately fanboyed

"AW! You're so cute!" *grabs your face and has cuteness aggression*

☆You two are the definition of black cat and golden retriever

☆Never gets jealous! He knows you are a catch but he knows you won't let anything go between you two

☆Conflicted by your moral code, he is not for violence. But glad to do so >:)

☆You spoil him rotten and he is always so touched 🥲

"I can't accept this."

"Why?"

"Because it's just-too Beautiful"

"So?"

"This was 1.2 million dollars Beautiful."

"I got it for cheap I know"

*confused Mikey*

☆Him and Alfred get along so well, even helps in the kitchen. At this point Alfred looks foward to seeing Mikey over you

☆This turtle is VERY CLINGLY! He'll attack you with hugs and kisses randomly, like you, he'll hide in the shadows

☆doesn't mind PDA

☆He will be in cloud 9 when you save him from the foot clan or anything! Just hundreds of knocked out mutants on the floor and he's admiring you like a lovesick puppy

☆Very much like Leo, whenever you are talking about detective stuff, he'll be like, "place name, backstory stuff"

☆Love's your gadgets! He'll mess around with them and loves your flamethrower for some reason...

☆Anything that has to do with bats will make him giddy just thinking about you

☆Whenever you get trumamtic flashbacks of the night your parents were murdered or any missions you were apart of, he'll cook you something amazing or bake, whatever you want!

☆Dr.Delicate Touch comes out whenever you're in danger

☆He bites you....that's it

☆Hates when you don't sleep, he won't drag you out to bed..BUT he'll snuggle onto your lap until you sleep

☆Love's you with tired eyes or not, you are perfection to him

☆However, he has "I can fix her" mindset, with you

☆You two LOVE sparing, sure, he hates even potentially hurting you, but you always remind him you will be perfectly fine

☆He has cuteness aggression towards you, you really don't know why

☆He has stolen your batmoblie with his brothers, happens once a week

☆You will randomly surprise him when he thinks he's alone

*dancing* "YoU MuST bE wHoO HeRmes MenTIONeD-"

*appears from the darkness*"Hello Michelangelo."

*EEEEEH*

☆Forget bad cop good cop, try the psychotic cops

"TELL ME WHERE IT IS!"

"BREAK HIS KNEECAPS-"

"YEAH!"

☆He has a think for breaking people's kneecaps?

☆This adorable psychotic turtle loves you and knows your perfect <3

[kommandonuovidiavoli]

How are the Sector W members doing in the Teen Au?

Harvey McKenzie Age: 13 Orientation: No data Status: DECOMMISSIONED We all know what happened to him, no need to repeat. He's mostly nonverbal now and still hates people touching him, to the point he might attack them. His parents decided to pull him from public school. Rachel is the only one he speaks to using his voice, but not too much. She found out Abby was the one who decommissioned him and now she refuses to talk to her. Nigel feels like he is between two fires sometimes. He's not a menace to kids.

Lee Yong Age: 14 Orientation: Doesn't care. Status: DECOMMISSIONED Decommissioned after turning 13. Even if his memories were wiped, he still had the love for yo-yo. He also kept his hat on, apparently, it's a gift his mother kept giving him as he grew up. It's a tradition. People are either amazed by his yo-yo tricks or annoyed because "it's so uncool". He doesn't care and just does his thing. Keeps to himself mostly. Has a little group of 3 friends he hangs out with. He's not a menace to kids.

Sonia Marybell Age: 14 Orientation: Likes girls maybe?? Questioning. Status: DECOMMISSIONED Decommissioned after turning 13. She's a quiet girl who, because of her mild nature, unfortunately, gets picked on by other girl bullies in the school. She never tries to go against them; even if these girls can be mean, she doesn't seem to care. Has no friends, apparently. To try to open her up, her parents signed her up for double-bass lessons. Apparently, this helped her enter a little band that recently debuted. This also helped her gain more confidence in herself! She's not a menace to kids.

Patrick "Paddy" Fulbright Age: 15 Orientation: Questioning. Status: IN OPERATION IN THE TND None of the Fullbright kids will be decommissioned, because there's a risk they might become villains like their father. So it's safer for them to keep their KND memories so they know what is going on around them. Paddy is a quiet kid; his grades improved as he got older, but he still likes to joke around. He's the popular boy in the school, everybody likes to be around him. Very kind, very generous, very soft. Just don't touch his hair or he'll become worse than his sister. He's not a menace to kids.

[dominicfikeme]

Moonlit Shores – Satoru Gojo

Summary A walk along the beach with your best friend, Satoru, should feel simple—easy. But not when you’re hopelessly in love with him. Maybe tonight, things will finally change. Warnings: Fluff, mutual pining, best friends-to-lovers trope, Satoru being playful and tender, tension, unspoken feelings. Hiii thank you sm for reading! Likes and re-blogs are highly appreciated and I wish a cold pillow to sleep on to anyone who does so lmao <333

Cool air sweeps across the waves, carrying with it the salty taste of the ocean. A flavor you don’t particularly want to taste, but right now, you couldn’t care less. After all, any inconvenience the beach might bring fades away in the presence of your favorite person.

That’s the only reason you’re even here at this odd hour—Satoru and his puppy-dog eyes. You figure accompanying him to the beach is the least you could do, especially after you begged him to join you at an art gallery just the other week, a place he has no interest in. Yet, he tagged along, listening intently as you explained why a certain painting made you feel so nostalgic.

You find yourselves doing this often—taking every opportunity to be together, even if the setting isn’t your favourite. It’s not so bad; you’ve come to appreciate the beach a lot more. The soft sand beneath your feet, the chorus of waves crashing on the shore—makes the whole experience rather enjoyable. Well, that and the sound of Satoru’s excitement as he dips his feet into the ocean for the first time.

You’ve noticed he doesn’t do many things for himself. He’s never really had the luxury of being just a little selfish. Sure, he may come off that way to others, but everyone having known about his strength since childhood means he’s carried an unfair amount of responsibility on the same shoulders he dusts off so easily pretending as if it all doesn't get to him.

For whatever reason, Satoru feels comfortable being a little childish with you—wanting late-night walks on the cold beach, and for whatever reason, you indulge him.

You walk along the shore, arms brushing every few seconds but never lingering longer than necessary. Satoru’s telling you how he got in trouble with Yaga for being late to class, though it wasn’t his fault his alarm didn’t wake him up. You roll your eyes at his excuses and laugh—a laugh that Satoru loves to about.

He’s always looking for moments to joke, no matter how dumb, just to see that smile on your face. A smile you offer so readily, no matter how ridiculous the joke. Even now, you laugh at his complaints about the terrible alarm clock Yaga gifted him for Christmas in an attempt to fix his tardiness. The laughter is so contagious that Satoru can’t help but join in.

In moments like these, with both of you smiling your biggest smiles, time seems to freeze, Satoru’s eyes reflecting the soft moonlight, his white hair messy from the breeze and the natural high of laughter filling the air, you feel free of all inhibitions. You feel an overwhelming pull to take his hand, to pull him closer, to seal your shared laughter with a long yearned for kiss. You wonder if he feels it too, the magnetic pull, the need to be more than whatever you both are, the need to have you close. 

His laughter softens, trailing into a content hum as he looks out at the horizon. “Toru–” you say softly, a kind of sincerity in your tone that Satoru picks up on. He looks at you, something tender in his expression urging you to carry on. But you are unable to, you can’t find the words. Your fingers twitch at your sides, itching to close the small gap between you.

Satoru, unusually patient, simply reassures you with a kind smile, one that allows you to take a leap of faith, letting your hand brush his but this time not pulling away. He looks at your hands, a smile growing ever so slightly as he curls his fingers around your hands. He looks back up at you, eyes soft. You brush your thumb against his knuckles, savouring the feel of his hands in yours, savouring the smile on his face, savouring the electricity that's coursing body because of a simple touch.

A shaky breath escapes you, breaking the silence. Satoru raises a brow, clearly holding back a laugh which only makes you chuckle first. It doesn’t take long before you both are laughing again, the tension giving away to a shared amusement. “You know,” you say, “I think I like the beach a lot more now, I reckon we do this more often.” 

“Yeah? Is it the waves or the company?” he teases, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. 

You grin, a playful sparkle in your eyes. “Definitely the company.”

[aishangotome]

Azel Radwan: Chapter 16

Chapter 15

Thank you @passthechloroform for providing the video for this chapter!

♡———♡

The next day - two visitors walked through the bustling Tanzanite market with familiar steps.

Luke: Hey, are you really going?

Clavis: They said they wanted to meet us. There's no reason to refuse, is there?

Luke: But, you know, their intentions are pretty obvious...

The building in front of the two men, who had stopped walking, was the headquarters of the trading company that controls Tanzanite's tourism industry...

Luke: Aren't we going to get scolded?

Clavis: Haha, don't be so scared. We just entered the building without permission the other day, right?

Luke: After kicking down the "no entry for non-personnel" sign.

Clavis: Don't worry, just relax. I'm a professional at apologizing.

Luke: That's not something to be proud of.

Sighing at his brother's boisterous laughter, he heads towards the entrance where people are coming and going.

As they enter the lobby, crowded with tourists, the person they are looking for immediately comes running over.

Kumush: Thank you for coming. My name is Kumush, and I am the president of the Tourism Association.

Kumush: Please, come this way.

-- At the same time.

Silvio: You...

Emma: It's a misunderstanding!

Silvio: What is?

In the middle of the pure white hallway of the royal court, filled with a sacred and solemn atmosphere, Silvio, whom I happened to pass by, stopped in his tracks instead of walking on.

The people passing by were also glancing at us, and cold sweat trickled down my cheeks.

(How did this happen?)

Silvio: You're the one who made them kneel and cry, aren't ya?

Emma: As I said, it's a misunderstanding!

Aisha: Lady Emma, I will serve you with all my heart and soul, so please give me another chance!

Nadia: We will devote our lives to you, Lady Emma!

(...This is troubling.)

Prostrating themselves before me, foreheads pressed to the floor, were the two maids who were previously punished by Azel.

They seem to have regained their sanity more than back then, but the moment they pass me in the castle, they assume this position faster than a gust of wind and repeatedly apologize.

Emma: I really don't mind, so please raise your heads.

No matter how many times I say it, my words don't reach them.

I'm at my wit's end, feeling like crying.

Silvio: Jokes aside...

(It was a joke...)

Silvio: Look at how frightened they are. God must have done somethin', right?

Emma: That's true, but I don't know what he did...

Silvio: You know, don't ya? As you can see, they were threatened.

Silvio: Imagine this. If God told ya, "You'll die if you don't do good deeds tomorrow," what would you do?

Emma: ...Even if I was doubtful, I might try to do good deeds.

(Because God's prophecies are a "guaranteed reality.")

Silvio: They were subjected to the same thing. The prophecy of a tragic future turns reality into a nightmare.

Silvio: I don't know what the condition is to wake up from the nightmare...

Silvio: But the fact that they're eager to serve you with all their heart and soul... doesn't that mean something?

(Now that you mention it...)

Silvio: Ha, you're really favored by that greedy bastard, aren't ya?

Silvio's words made my heart leap for some reason.

Emma: Why do you say that?

Silvio: I don't know what these two did, but it means he's set them up to be your absolute allies, right?

Silvio: Even if he does this, it ain't worth a penny to him.

Silvio: The fact that he's doing somethin' that doesn't make him money clearly shows how he values you.

(...)

*flashback*

Azel: I remembered I had an urgent matter. It's extremely troublesome, but...

(...I still don't know the true meaning of that urgent matter.)

(But, if in fact he was just doing everything he could so I wouldn't be humiliated again...)

When my perception changes, my heart also sounds the alarm.

Emma: --Perhaps, that's not it.

Emma: I think it's not for my sake, but for revenge and to protect himself.

Silvio: What's that about?

Emma: I can't tell you the details, but...

(To prevent me from going crazy with the aphrodisiac and attacking Azel.)

(There must be no other meaning.)

*flashback*

Emma: Is it wrong to fall in love with the Living God?

Azel: It's absolutely forbidden.

Azel: Because it's troublesome.

*flashback over*

I let out a small breath and turned to the trembling maids.

Emma: If you have time, there's one thing I'd like to ask of you...

Silvio's guess seemed to be correct, and the two, raising their heads, had their eyes shining as if they had found hope.

Emma: I wonder if you could request an audience with His Majesty the King?

Nadia & Aisha: "We'll call His Majesty right away!"

The two regained their energy like fish in water and disappeared in an instant.

It's normally impossible for a mere book merchant to take the king's time, but they made an immediate decision.

Silvio: They might grant ya any wish, if it's yours.

Emma: I've learned to be careful with my words.

Silvio: If it's bestowed by God, use it without hesitation.

Silvio: By the way, are you goin' to do business with the king?

Emma: No, there's something I want to ask him.

-

Enis: I apologize for the wait.

Before long, I was ushered into the throne room, and His Majesty Ennis welcomed me warmly.

(...The fact that I can summon even the king immediately is scary.)

Enis: Prince Silvio, it's good to see you too.

Silvio: Sorry to interrupt. I'm just an escort.

Silvio: I was curious about what this woman wants to ask the king.

Enis: Oh? I'll answer anything I can.

The silver-haired king smiles cheerfully, not seeming offended by the sudden summons.

Emma: I apologize for taking your time during your busy schedule.

(This might not be something I should ask for an audience and take your time, but...)

Emma: About the prophecy of the end left by the first Living God...

Emma: Prince Azel said it would be good to ask Your Majesty Enis, so I came here.

Enis: ......

Enis: ...I see, the Living God...

(His face changed color...?)

Just like the diviner woman I met in the alley before, it was a reaction as if he wanted to avoid "touching the end."

Enis: Any diviner or member of the royal court knows the prophecy of the end...

Enis: The fact that you specifically named me must be a divine order to give you information that only I know.

Enis sits deeply in his throne and looks up at the ceiling.

His appearance, as if he is thinking of a distant place, is filled with anguish, and I exchange glances with Silvio.

Enis: Of course, I will answer your question.

Enis: But before that, would you listen to one request of mine?

Enis, his gaze back on me, gives me a sincere look.

I don't know what the "request" is, but I don't feel any malice in it.

Emma: I'll be happy to accept if it's something I can do.

Enis: Thank you. Actually--.

-

Azel: I refuse.

Back at the temple, Azel's first words as he was repairing the outer wall were not "welcome back."

Emma: I haven't said anything yet.

Azel: The fact that you came back in a hurry at this hour speaks for itself.

Azel: You have two choices: give up, or have the wealthy gentleman next to you pay me.

Silvio: Why the hell should I pay ya when there's no profit in it for me?

Azel: Prince Silvio, I hear there's a custom of offering coins in Kougyoku.

Azel: It's a wonderful system of faith where you offer money as a thank you for God's blessings...

Silvio: That's what he says, woman.

Emma: I don't want to be squeezed dry anymore.

Azel: Then there's no room for discussion. I'm busy, so...

Azel skillfully applies a glue-like substance made by adding water to lime, as if filling the gaps in the crumbling stone wall.

Emma: It's a request from Enis.

Azel: Why should I listen to the words of a mere king?

Emma: Please, just this once... You just need to show your face at the evening party for a little while.

Tonight, an impromptu evening party hosted by the king will be held at Tanzanite Castle.

The party, which will be attended by influential people from the Land of Illusions, seems to have the intention of gathering information on the unstable situation following the recent riot and showing that God's protection is still in place to build peace of mind for the people.

Emma: I heard that you don't really like parties, Prince Azel...

Azel: Yes. The reason I don't want to attend gatherings of people... Surely you understand, intelligent as you are?

Emma: It's because the participants get restless, right?

Azel: ...What kind of reason is that?

Emma: If you were to attend the party, Prince Azel, the people around you would surely be distracted.

Emma: They wouldn't be able to enjoy chatting, and the party meant for enjoyment would turn into a gathering to worship God...

Emma: I thought that you wouldn't want that to happen.

(I've noticed while spending time with you that despite your mean personality, your kindness shows through here and there.)

I felt that my guess that he was intentionally not participating out of consideration for others was accurate.

Azel: The me in your mind is quite compassionate, isn't he?

Azel: Unfortunately, I have no such noble purpose. It's just bothersome.

Azel: However, it was unexpected that Enis would ask you to do an errand.

Azel: The fact that he's resorting to such a poor way to buy time means that he still hasn't come to terms with the prophecy in his heart...

Azel: It's pathetic that he still can't let go of his emotions even though he's become a puppet.

(Puppet...?)

As if to say the conversation was over, Azel continued his repair work silently.

It seemed he had no intention of listening even if I brought up the king's name, but this was within my expectations.

(When asking Azel for a favor, payment is an absolute condition...)

(However, I don't have an endless supply of wealth like Silvio.)

(I'm glad I prepared a secret weapon before coming here.)

Emma: Prince Azel.

I take out what I had in my pocket and hold it out in front of his mystical eyes.

His work stops.

Azel: ..."Special Service Ticket that grants any wish"...

Silvio: ...!

Ignoring Silvio, who suddenly burst out laughing, I offer the ticket to Azel with both hands.

Emma: This has a monetary value equivalent to repaying all the debt I owe you.

Azel: ...Are you stupid?

Emma: But as a special offer! If you grant my wish, I will give you this ticket for free.

Azel: ...

Emma: Please don't look at me with pity.

Silvio: My stomach hurts... A "do anything you want" ticket for a God... I'm impressed... Haha...!

Emma: You're laughing too much, Prince Silvio!

(I knew it... I knew the chances were slim... but I'm starting to feel embarrassed.)

Azel: ...It's embarrassing, isn't it? Trying to bribe a God with a cheap, childish ticket like this.

Emma: It's a... luxury ticket...

Azel: It has no value to me. In the first place, you still have a huge debt.

Azel: Above all, I am a God who grants people's wishes--aren't you giving it to the wrong person?

(...I want to rewind time right now.)

I cover my flushed face with my hands, but peek at the God's face through the gaps in my fingers--

Azel: Only a fool like you would think of such a ridiculous thing.

(...)

For just a moment--in a fleeting instant that I almost mistook for an illusion, a soft, moon-like smile appeared on his face.

(No, I... I seem to be weak to this face.)

I quickly averted my eyes, feeling as if I had touched something forbidden.

Silvio: Woman, you couldn't seduce the God?

Emma: ...He was too tough.

It seems Silvio didn't see it, so I pretend nothing happened.

Silvio: Well, the king also said "it would be difficult," right? There's no point in givin' up.

Silvio: If you have time to deal with the God, why don't ya go back and prepare for the evenin' party?

Emma: You're right. I think the maids are waiting for me--

As I try to give up and leave Azel, he grabs my hand.

Azel: Why are you attending the evening party?

Emma: His Majesty the King invited me.

Silvio: You wannna gather information for the Rhodolite guys, right?

Emma: That's part of it.

Azel: You, who are drowning in debt, should have the important task of making my dinner.

Emma: There are leftovers from yesterday, so you won't have any trouble with your meal, Prince Azel.

Azel: ...

Emma: Is it... not okay?

(I was invited to the evening party and ended up replying, but maybe that was too hasty.)

Although he doesn't have his usual frown in front of Silvio, I feel pressure from his gentle smile.

Azel: Have you forgotten that you are a debtor? You must prioritize God above all else.

Emma: Prince Azel, could it be that...

Emma: ...are you lonely?

Silvio: ...!

In contrast to Silvio, who burst out laughing again, Azel's smile stiffened.

Azel: You... you have some nerve to insult a God?

Emma: It wasn't an insult, it was an observation.

Azel: That's not something to be proud of. I'm actually relieved that you won't be here.

Emma: Well then, I'll be off to the evening party.

Azel: ...

Emma: Ah, I finally understand. Actually, you're worried-- Ow!

In the end, as always, he pulled my cheek and forcibly silenced me.

Azel: Maybe it's time to consider imprisonment for blasphemy. After paying the fine, of course.

(Not good, not good!)

Silvio: Ha, don't worry so much. I'll accompany you.

Silvio: An escort is essential for Tanzanite evening parties, right?

Silvio: If God isn't coming, I have no choice but to be your partner.

Silvio was grinning broadly, and it was clear that it wasn't just out of goodwill.

(But I'd feel uneasy going alone, so I'll take advantage of his offer this time.)

Azel: ...You're quite the curious one, Prince Silvio.

Silvio: I don't want to hear that from ya, the one who's lettin' an unknown woman live here.

Silvio: If you ain't happy about it, you can come along. You love free meals, don't ya?

Azel: A God cannot easily be involved in worldly affairs.

Silvio: What's that, you money-hungry bastard?

Azel: In the first place, Emma, do you really intend to go?

Azel: Your little head seems to have already forgotten what happened at the royal court.

(He might actually be worried about me.)

(...This is awkward.)

Emma: I'll be careful.

Silvio: I don't know what happened, but I'll be there, so it'll be fine. You owe me one.

As if to rescue me from Azel's clutches, Silvio puts his hand on my shoulder and casually pulls me closer.

Azel: ...Well, fine.

Azel: I don't care at all, not even a little bit, where you go or what you do.

Azel maintains the smile of a merciful God.

But his eyebrows were faintly furrowed.

As if he had seen something unpleasant.

-

Clavis: --Now then, Kumushu. What is this matter that we must discuss away from prying eyes?

Unlike the bustling lobby, the reception room upstairs was filled with silence.

Kumush: I don't like beating around the bush, so let me ask you directly.

Kumush: Are you familiar with the world's calamity, the beast of ruin, the renowned figure known as the ever-victorious general?

Clavis & Luke: "................."

Clavis: ...Of course, we are.

Luke: Why is his name coming up?

Kumush: Actually, there's something I'd like to consult with you about.

The lump that was taken out of the wooden box placed under the table changed the atmosphere of the room.

Clavis: ...This isn't a funny joke, is it?

.

.

.

Chapter 16 Letter

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

I just wanna say, I love Silvio in this route. I love that he's kind of an acquaintance and not just a full-on jerk to Emma. And I love that he's making Azel jealous LOL.

[jungmeowz]

⋆˚✿˖° dead daisies - Y.JW

synops: they say once you find your soulmate you're bonded forever but what happens when your soulmate can't feel anything? sum: yang jungwon is your soulmate, but does that mean he's yours?

genre: angst, angst, angst... soulmateAU! hanahakiAU!

tw: hanahaki disease, death, etc. alexithymia

word count: 1.8k+!

“Do you believe in love?” I asked Jungwon. “No, not really, I’m not interested in dating, or more ever, I don’t understand what love is,” he replied. “What do you mean by that?” I questioned.

“Alexithymia,” he answered. A disease where the  person has the inability to recognize or describe one's own emotions.

“You’re joking right..?” I responded. “I wish I was, but I've always wondered hat it’s like being in love,” he smiled faintly. 

Yang Jungwon, he was my best friend, but he never told me that he suffered from Alexithymia. I guess he didn’t want to be treated differently, but I was shocked, because I've always been in love with him. But I guess he would never and could ever be in love with me, or feel the love with me, which broke my heart. We've been best friends for a while, and so hearing this shattered my heart. There goes my chances with him. 

“What about you? Do you believe in love?” He asked. “I like to think that there is love for me out there,” I replied. He patted my head and messed with my hair. “Don’t worry, he’s out there somewhere,” He smiled. “I don’t think so, but maybe something... hopefully,” I laughed. 

We continued to walk down the sidewalk and talk about random things, whether it's complaining about the smallest things, because that’s just how we were. Or we would talk, laugh, and rant, because that’s how we connected. The both of us live fairly close, we were only few blocks away from each other. 

“Look at those daisies,” he said. “Wow they’re so pretty,” I smiled. “They’re one of my favorite flowers,” he said. “Daisies, they have my two favorite colors, yellow and white,” I commented.

“Did you know they mean true love?” Jungwon said. 

When Jungwon said that to me, I looked at him and gave him a questioned face, “Hmm?” I questioned. “I can’t seem to feel or express love or even understand love, but at least I can see the symbolism that comes with the words,” he said. “Is that why they’re your favorite?” I hummed. 

“I would like to know maybe one day what it’s like to feel love or to be loved, or even be in love with someone,” He replied.  “I hope so too,” I smiled. 

Jungwon walked me home and waved goodbye to me, I waved back and smiled at him, but as soon as I stepped in my house and closed my front door, my eyes became watery, and my smile turned upside down, just like my world did. I spent the next hour crying my eyes out, because knowing Jungwon and I were never going to happen hurt and knowing we wouldn't be together crushed my soul.

After an hour of crying, I felt something stuck in my lungs, I tried coughing it out but it hurt to cough. All of sudden, and with one more cough, I hacked out a bunch of petals that were covered in blood. I repeatedly said to myself, “No, this can’t be," I panicked. I didn’t want to believe what I thought it was. I grabbed my laptop frantically and searched it up on the web. In the bolded letters there displayed the words

“Hanahaki Disease” this was the disease where you are suffering a one-sided love, and the only way to cure this disease was to have the person return their feelings back.

I looked at my screen in disbelief, the word came out of my mouth, “impossible,” There's was no way Jungwon would be able to return my feelings, he wouldn't and he couldn’t, he doesn't understand my feelings. 

The whole night, I kept barfing petals that were covered in blood, the room smelled like dead daisies as there were bloody petals scattered everywhere. My time was coming and I wasn’t ready, and I didn’t care if Jungwon loved me or not, I didn’t care if he wasn’t going to be my boyfriend.

All I cared about was being by his side and being alive just to grow with him. I cried, I cried so many times thinking about not knowing when I would die, not being able to see Jungwon anymore, and the more I thought about it the more I thought about the day I would die, I would be covered in flowers and no one would know where I went off too, but maybe it was for the best I thought to myself.

The next day, you could tell I cried a shit ton, my eyes were puffy and red from the quiet sobs at night. I looked like shit, and I felt like shit. I tried putting on makeup in the attempt of not looking that gross, it kind of worked but when I walked out the door I saw Jungwon waiting for me outside.

He waved and smiled at me, my heart broke, and I could feel the lungs getting full with petals again. I waved back and formed a fake smile, I felt the cough coming. I tried to close my mouth while coughing and I could feel the petals in my mouth, I tried to swallow it back, and let me tell you. It tasted nasty and it hurt like a bitch. 

I walked towards Jungwon and he looked at me, with concern. “Are you okay? You don’t look so well,” he asked. “I’m fine, just didn’t sleep well, that’s all,” I lied. “Alright, well would you like to ditch class today then?” he suggested. I gave him a weird look and he smiled at me, I thought to myself that life at this point was beyond cruel to me. "Is THE Yang Jungwon suggesting to ditch class, who are you and what have you done to the real Jungwon!" I jokingly said. He laughed and gave me a cheeky grin, "Nothing, one day won't hurt. Let’s go to the garden and walk around and look at the clouds? I know it's your favorite thing to do,” he answered.

A garden… bittersweet

“Wow, you really do know me,” I laughed. He looks at me and grins and pulls out a peace sign to his face, "Of course I do! You're my best friend y/n)," he said. “Let’s do it,” I smiled. 

We both walked around in the garden and looked at the sky, it was pretty, and although looking at the flowers made me feel disgusted and anxious, still being around Jungwon helped calm me down a bit.

The more I thought about Jungwon being beside me, the more I thought of wanting to be beside him more. I also realized there wasn’t an exact time for when I would die, I might as well try living my best life and try to savor every last moment I have with Jungwon. With those thoughts in my mind there was one event I thought of left, and it was the last event as seniors. Prom. 

“Jungwon, let’s go to prom,” I said. “I thought you didn't want to go?” he questioned. “It’s our last year, let’s try to have fun and live our last highschool year,” I suggested. 

It might be my last time being with you.

“I mean if you’re going then I'll go,” He answered. “Okay. It’s settled, we’re going to prom,” I smiled. “You’re so silly sometimes,” He smiled. 

The lungs were filled again, I almost let out a cough but I stopped myself, and swallowed hard again. His smile was so warm and sincere. I wish I had more time to live longer and to see this. 

“Okay then, let’s go get you a dress, because knowing you y/n, you don’t have a dress so let’s go get you one,” Jungwon said. I gasped at him and covered my mouth, “How dare you!” I laughed. 

Jungwon chuckled and the both of us went to the store to go look for a dress for myself and a suit for himself. I chose a pastel yellow dress, and of course Jungwon went with a black suit. After shopping, we went to go eat and then headed home for the day. There were multiple times where I felt the strong pain in my lungs and stomach, and it’s because I kept swallowing those dumb petals. 

After Jungwon walked me home, I waved goodbye to him. He smiled and waved back. As the door closed, I rushed towards the bathroom door and barfed out all the bloody petals that had stacked up in my stomach. There was a lot of bloody petals everywhere, I kept telling myself to hang in there, and stay alive until prom was done.

Prom was tomorrow, so if I could just fight for another night that would be great. The night was getting worse, I kept barfing and I couldn't stop, I absolutely felt like my body wanted to give up on me. 

The next day was prom day, I sat there in bed feeling dead and gross inside, my garbage was filled with bloody petals, my room smelled like dead daisies. I spent the whole morning cleaning up my room, and trying super hard to get rid of the scent, and lastly clean up the bloody stains on my floor, sheets, and blankets.

After that I rested for a bit and then started  prepping to do my makeup and hair. It didn’t take a while, and it’s just because I don’t like to wear heavy makeup, nor do I like to have so many curls in my hair. I liked a natural look, it suited me better anyways. After I finished my makeup, I looked in the mirror and I smiled brightly, until I felt my lungs feel heavy again. 

This time they weren’t bloody petals, they were yellow and white petals. The time was coming. No, no no, this couldn’t be, prom hasn’t even started… I was walking around frantically in my room, and as time passed, I was sobbing and barfing colored petals, my makeup was a mess but that was the least of my worries. My barfing wouldn’t stop, I could feel my lungs getting full, and I could feel the branches and stem piercing through my lungs and growing intensely inside my body. I laid down on my bed to try to ease the pain.

I grabbed a small piece of paper I wrote to Jungwon and held on to it tight. I laid there trying not to close my eyes, but before I knew it, I barfed one last time, feeling the pain spread everywhere in my body, and my eyes slowly closing and everything went black and the white daisies had taken over.

There laid my body, I was wearing a yellow dress and there were white daisies surrounding me. The yellow dress I was wearing represented the yellow core of the daisy and the white daisies that circled around me represented it’s white petals, and if you looked closely my whole body created one full perfect daisy.

It was a dead true love.

It was almost time for prom, and Jungwon waited outside, but soon after he questioned why I took so long, he walked towards the door and knocked, and there was no reply. He grabbed the spare key under the mat and opened the door. He walked towards my room calling out my name, but when he entered the room, his eyes widened. He saw my body covered in beautiful white daisies, but the room smelled like dead daisies. He looked at me in disbelief, he shook my body many times calling out my name, but then he saw my hand holding onto something tight. It was the note. 

“Hey, I don’t think I’ll make it. I know you can’t feel, express or understand the feelings of love, but I have always loved you. Sorry, I let you down,” - y/n l/n.

That was the first time he ever felt an emotion trigger, but instead of love it was sadness and pain.

a/n; that was kinda lowkey rough

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° ᴇɴʜʏᴘᴇɴ ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ ° ᡣ𐭩 . °

[threerattsinatrenchcoat]

2024 Writing Challenge Wrap Up

This year I wanted to put out a piece of writing—either a complete piece or a chapter—every week. My main goal was to quit getting stuck in editing hell. This is what I learned:

Writing for output gets you faster but it really highlights your weaknesses as a writer. I found myself reusing a lot of genres, themes, characters, sentence structure, etc, as a crutch to make the process easier. The worst was when I would simply list everything that happened in a scene, like a micromanaging script writer—she did x, he did y, she did z—without taking the time to prune it to the story I wanted to tell. (Funny enough, a friend sent me this article today that perfectly highlights what I'm trying to describe here. This past year my consumption of visual media definitely increased). I'd finish a piece and the word count would seem impressive, but those words didn't actually say anything. Quantity was reducing my quality.

Compared to my earlier writing, I also slipped into using more obvious/dull similes and metaphors. Every character started to speak and act the same, and instead of writing endings, I found myself just writing characters who simply "won" the plot.

Writing short stories combatted almost all of the above. It forced me to remove parts that were hiring the story and remember that I rarely needed the text to describe everything. The dialogue, characters actions and values, my audience's own brains would fill in the gaps. I think people even enjoy a bit of vagueness, especially with jokes; explaining the punchline doesn't make it funny. Letting people have that moment of "aha!" is more effective.

Sometimes I overcorrected—I've read a few older pieces where I'm like, "wait what just happened," but at least I didn't find myself skipping parts of the story.

Applying the concepts of "but it went wrong" and "they would not say that" also helped the above. When I caught myself just writing a list of all the things my characters did to win the plot, I would combat that by either having them fail or fuck up or both. My stories were way more fun/interesting when I figured out the line a character would not cross and then made their victory beyond that line, so they either had to cross the line or avoid it entirely. Example: in The Gang Goes to the Underdark, Zarys will not leave the shipment, even if it means leaving part of her team behind and traveling a very dangerous route, so she goes to ridiculous lengths to deliver it, including capturing minotaurs and walking straight into a trap.

Refusing to have characters act out of character made for more interesting stories, I think. After all, there's a reason I like these characters. (Shout out to @graysparrowao3 whose toxic Aradin/Rugan fics encouraged me to let people be more awful, and to everyone who stans villains). Whenever I had to have a character break "they would not say that" I tried to figure out a good why. Why would this unempathetic character be nice to someone? Maybe because they really love them… or maybe because they think they can get something out of it.

Writing is time consuming. I joked a few times about how I need to step away from the keyboard, my family misses me, but I work full time, go to the gym, volunteer and aim for 7 hours of sleep a night…and then was writing 10+ hours a week. For my pieces, I tried to note down how long they took because I think people devalue free things, but every made thing has a cost.

I can write through (almost) anything. I originally thought I would fail at this goal. Technically I did—4 things I wrote were never posted (projects fell through), and I was without power/cell/internet/water for weeks after a hurricane and while I did write, posting wasn't on my agenda. I also was wildly burnt out/grieving after the hurricane and found myself mechanically getting pieces out there, using the challenge as a way to implement some normalcy. But I posted most weeks and wrote something for every single one. I learned how to barrel through writer's block and how to say "good enough" for a deadline.

Avoiding burnout is a proactive, not a reactive, activity. I fully planned to abandon this challenge if I thought it was ruining my relationship with writing. However, really prioritizing other parts of my life did a lot to protect my relationship with writing, especially prioritizing exercise and my family/friends. Towards the end of the year I started writing less and less, mostly to pick back up other hobbies (gaming especially).

I can write characters, ships, kinks and stories that I don't care about. I did several exchanges/challenges this year because coming up with so much to write is hard. These exchanges meant that I wrote a bunch of stuff where I started the fic not giving a single flying fuck about the characters. Three of a Four Course Meal is an example—I picked it up on a pinch hit mostly because "vampire dinner party" was too hilarious a prompt to let it not be written. I'm not into robots, most of the mages, or Cal/Geraldus (or most of the couples I write, sorry! Like 90% of them are from talking to people online and being like "I like this person, I want to make them something") but I wrote each with the mindset of "I don't need to be into this, I just need to figure out how to write it." I think this helps a lot with output and with pushing yourself to write better. The advice to kill your darlings is also a lot easier when the piece doesn't start out as darling.

Stats:

I debated not including this because all that ^^^ is the real victory, but fuck it, I want to link fics, haha.

I posted over 300,000 words in 2024 (I started to do the math to remove all the words in collab chapter fics I didn't write and gave up) across 48 fics and 105 chapters, which for me is a massive quantity. Every single fic was a rare pair. I cracked several new tags on AO3—I'm probably most infamous for Dammon/Strange Ox, but I also did others, like Vorgoth/Rook, Guex & Pandirna and a bunch of Salazon tags. I also contributed to so many Elturian Refugee and Zhent tags. I'm still a little confused how there are only 43 works with Alfira/Lakrissa, but 4 of them are mine and 3 of those have Alfira/Lakrissa as the main couple. I'm doing my part!

My most popular fic for hits was Wine, Iron and Other Damnables. This was also one of the first I posted, closest to the "height" of activity in the fandom. It was my longest at 44,047 words. I recently reread it and it's not as snappy as my stuff ended up in the end, but it does have a lot of fun plays on words I'd like to return to.

My most kudos'd fic was Where There's Smoke. It was posted pretty soon after Veilguard came out and got a shout out on tiktok, which quadrupled its kudos in 3 days. Really a testament to how much the "when" you post matters; it's pretty standard Ratt smut but so much more popular than my other stuff! The word count was 2,988, although you can pick your pronouns and stuff so the word count is actually higher.

My least popular fic for hits is The Curse of a Promise. It's a rair pair, is WLW, it's SFW—basically everything people say won't get hits haha. But it's my little fic (878 words) and I love it. Least popular for kudos is Popper's Bag of Popping at 700 words, which I was a little surprised by. Maybe it's an issue with the tone not matching the subject? Either way, I'm glad it's no longer one of my Wyll fics.

My shortest fic was Perception at 141 words, and I'm honestly very fond of it!

What's next?

I plan to keep writing, but definitely not at the same output. I would really like to return to some of the creativity and wordplay I had in my original stuff, and I can't do that and put out as much material. I also really want to prioritize longer pieces again.

I'll probably step back from exchanges. It was pretty disheartening to work hard on something for someone and have the receiver comment "can't wait to read it" and then nothing. Or, you know, get literally nothing, not even a kudos. It's kind of soured my feelings toward exchanges. However, shout out to @commander-krios and @lolliputian for running several solid collabs/exchanges and the Zhentil keep for their round robins.

I would like to do a bit more art this year. I know practice generally makes improvement, and seeing how much other artists like @littleplasticrat and @redroomroaving have improved has made me want to get back at it. I cannot do a piece a week, though, haha. Maybe one a month, we'll see. I haven't decided.

Overall, though, I would like to spend less time online. I miss my family, I miss DnD, gaming, reading and hiking. There were things I delayed last year to meet this goal that no longer exist. I'm tired. Happy I did this, but tired.

Additional thoughts that didn't really fit anywhere:

I never expected to make friends during the challenge but I did. I made a lot of friends, and they're all driven, creative, ridiculous, intelligent, hilarious, honest, silly and so valuable to me. I really missed making things with people. I'm just so grateful to everyone I met.

I'm also grateful to all the people who tagged me in their end of the year posts, thank you so much. You're all very lovely

[naomiknight-17]

Picked up Dave the Diver yesterday, and it's much more intense than I expected and I've been really enjoying it except for two things

1. Characters make rude comments about Dave's weight (he is very round)

2. I keep getting murdered by fish

[bumblingbabooshka]

Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.

[gods-perfect-idiots]

something something blood-soaked hands cradling your face something something

anyway here's the post btw

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

hate when i see a youtube video that's like 'analyzing why [thing] is bad!' and you watch the video and they just say nothing for twenty minutes

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

'...you know jokes like those actually hurt me, right?'

"who said I was joking?"

.

.

.

'oh.'

[https-reverie]

My ass is NOT used to genuine words despite how much/how many times I receive them

[starpros-sunshine]

To be honest I never really understood the "Eichi started the war because he liked Wataru and couldn't be normal about it" thing because like??????????????? What's the war going to do about that?????? What is Eichi getting out of antagonising Wataru and his only friends to the public and almost working himself into an early grave???? How would Eichis relationship with Wataru benefit from holding public executions for half of the eccentrics and turning them into scapegoats and actively declaring his unit as an "enemy" of theirs???? In what world would that be a successful courting ritual I mean I understand Eichi can be extra and Wataru is the definition of the word but genuinely how does that entire train of thought make sense???? Eichi is a lot of things but he's not stupid. The man has the common sense to not do All Of That just for the sake of getting closer to one individual in a way that would never ever work on anyone with some semblance of common sense. The Tomoya Sanctuary incident happened because Eichi was jealous and couldn't be normal aboout it.

And not even to mention how, if the aforementioned was the case, that would also never have worked with Wataru because the reason Wataru was so in on his role was because he knew it was serving a greater purpose. He's not the type to go along with a plan like that simply to satisfy some other guys strange ways of showing his admiration via turning the object of his affections and aforementioneds friends into social outcasts. He's not the type. And neither is Eichi.

That entire train of thought would make absolutely no sense if taken beyond the "haha funny joke" stage

[itwoodbeprefect]

i don't have a point here except ???, but i realized today that starsky & hutch episode the psychic a) was written by micheal mann of (among many other things) classic crime thriller heat fame, and b) contains a baffling amount of (references to) crossdressing. it's one of the two episodes that opens with starsky and hutch chasing a guy in a dress (which gives us the "well i don't know, you('d) look rather nice in basic black and pearls" starsky-to-hutch line), later on they interrupt a robbery being committed by ANOTHER guy in a dress (and grey wig, posing as an old lady - presumably with the intent to disguise his identity rather than express some part of it, but who knows), and THEN they meet a hot lady mechanic who among many fast lines says to starsky "i'm really a basketball player in drag. whatever turns you on, honey" (interestingly timely, considering starsky's earlier comment about hutch). and finally, not entirely related but also not unrelated, there's these people at a laundromat hutch hits up on his mad phone chase at the end of the episode:

so yeah. ???.