#it doesn't always make sense
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Can openers were invented about 80 years after canned food became popular.
The fax machine was invented before the telephone.
And we all know that sliced bread is the best thing since Betty White.
#fun facts#history#it doesn't always make sense#also I convinced my dad to put wheels on a duffle bag that I could use as a backpack in the early 90's#I used to unclip one end of the shoulder strap and clip it to the back belt loop of my jeans#so I could walk home from the bus stop hands-free#while reading#it was uphill so that helped#the whole thing worked out great#this probably says a lot about me#I was glad to see later that other people seemed to be picking up on my brilliant idea#luggage with wheels is great#especially the newer kind that spins around instead of getting stuck and tipping over if you don't pull it exactly straight#it's a small detail in the overall scheme of things#but it makes life much easier during stressful travel#and I love it for that
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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Vibes based grading system.
(for @epistemologys, who wanted some post-canon, teacher WWX)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Thank you for participating in the raffle and for your patience! This was a really fun prompt!#I always loved it when teachers had bonus questions on assignments and tests. Especially if they were fun!#WWX strikes me as the type to have bonus assignments - but also his own chaotic system of what does and doesn't get a point.#Note; not arbitrary. It makes sense to him and anyone who's been around him long enough.#When one has to deal with a lot of things to grade it really does make a difference when something (positive or negitive) stands out.#(especially papers...oh god...shared essay topic grading is a special hell)#He would care that they understand the principals of what he's teaching. He'd also value students thinking outside of the box.#WWX would be hard to argue and *win* against but if the attempt is good enough? I think you'd have his respect and a little bonus point.#I like the idea of post-canon teachers wangxian. Grading papers together can be a love language.#Perhaps it is just a beautiful ending for a character to be able to rest and have stability.#This isn't what being a teacher is like. But in comparison to how WWX was living before? Peace and quiet.
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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Jason and Cass' opposing views on murder is so interesting. Their conflict is not purely moralistic - that is to say, it's not purely that Jason thinks murder is okay, and Cass doesn't. It's their identities, their original and most fundamental worldview. Jason is a murder victim and Cass is a murderer. Yes, Jason kills people as Red Hood, and yes, Cass dies multiple times, but this never truly erases how they see themselves. Jason will always have been murdered, and Cass will always be a murderer. They are unable to fully extricate themselves from those roles, and thus will never approach life or death the same way.
#cassandra cain#jason todd#so i may have spent thirty minutes reading jason meta#cass will always be my fav but damn if jason meta doesn't hit on a spiritual level#that boy is messed up#idk if this post makes any sense?? jason experts feel free to correct me#it's interesting too how so much of their trajectory is trying to change that identity as victim or villain#jason becoming red hood is creating the autonomy being a victim denied him#cass becoming batgirl is creating the autonomy being a (forced) murderer denied her#yet they both are unable to truly let go of what the world made them#thus both being perpetually haunted by their past selves#meta
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It irritates me alot when people say that making medic more compassionate is ''missing the point of his character'' when he is literally shown to be in the comics.... did you miss the part where he showed concern for both sniper and miss pauling's well being in comic 5 and 6.
His actions are a combination of genuine attachment + clinical interest and these things do not cancel out one another. He is always pushing boundaries and going against the grain and i think this is what led to him losing his license in the first place. He felt stifled by the rules imposed on him.
He is shown to be extremely passionate so it makes sense that he would use his endless fascination with medicine as a way to show his affection. He loves his friends so he will find a way to make them borderline indestructible. Malpractice is his love language.
#it makes me really angry how adamant some people are against exploring his sweeter side beyond just ''heehoo evil doctor''#idk how to tell you that giving a character a wider range of complexities and oftentimes contradicting traits#does not equal 'woobification'. him being friendly social and cheerful and fascinated with the world around him (which he canonically is)#is not the same thing as writing him as a helpless softboy. those two things do not correlate#he was visibly worried when sniper wanted to get back in the fight!#it's so abundantly clear that medic just misses social cues and doesn't always react accordingly#plus his quote unquote evilness is a joke it's not. something that is meant to be taken seriously#he's more comparable to a saturday morning cartoon villain except he is a protagonist#the way he approaches medicine to me is very similiar to#a child playing potions if that makes sense. he is throwing shit together to see what sticks#and having fun with it#i might rewrite this later to be more coherent because i have alot of thoughts on him that are jumbled together#and there is so much to say abt him#also i find it so funny how inconsistent he is. he tells them they all hallucinated before brain death#yet he personally went to hell multiple times. why did he do that#tf2#medic#tf2 medic#medic tf2#team fortress 2
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AU where post Zero year Duke becomes robin instead of Tim
Considering Duke is somehow 7 in zero year he would officially become the babiest robin which he deserves honestly
#ask#anon#dc#dc comics#duke thomas#batman#Zero year doesn't make sense timeline wise#but I'll always support duke becoming robin#and tim not#heheheheheh#oifaaadoodles
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double ?? upload ???? yeaaaahh i've gotten FASTERRrr for whatever that's worth so complementary blyla because guess what i miss them too (nobody was surprised by that)
#star wars#clone wars#star wars the clone wars#blyla#artists on tumblr#listen i just have a thing for jedi + clones it seems and we cannot forget dartain the ogs (i will draw that tonight + tomorrow not now)#tcw made aayla so cool bro i love her#can you tell i've been on a mellon_soup kick !! i love her references so much bro#one day i will draw foxiyo. that day may be tomorrow i don't know#prequel-era ships are elite sorry everything else is Lame except for han/leia rebelcaptain and kanera (reylo's fine ig)#tcw is also the only thing that salvages anidala for me however! this is not an anidala post i am getting so off-topic whoa#i am unmedicated.#anyway yayyyy double upload#by the way in my head the accelerated aging thing just straight-up doesn't exist#cuz it's one of the dumbest things star wars has ever done i think it just doesn't make sense#anyway ^^)b#listen i'm not ALWAYS gonna go the cheap route and do the gradient thing instead of color i just don't wannaaaa. too much work#“jedi can't have attachments!!!!” and you can't have fun apparently#besides attachment and .-+ love +-. are different things and the jedi USED to know that before they contracted stupid disease#aayla secura#commander bly#would've drawn bly's armor cause it's cool but friiiick dude i already did it for rex and I AIN'T DOIN' IT AGAIN#(will do it again for darman because i'm a masochist)#hey. he's a commando it's different#at least i finally get to throw my etain headcanons into the ring#why am i talking about other ships on a blyla post. whatever#i'll color something eventually. sketching is just significantly easier and more fun#actually scratch that heck y'all i'll do what i wanna do#(affectionate dw)#my art
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while teen while goblin while aroace while injured while doing your best
#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#riz gukgak#figueroth faeth#sklonda gukgak#dimension 20#this. mmmmhhh this is so. I did Not know how to draw this really.#I am very normal about riz (<- lying)#it's a brennan-dm d20 campaign the bad guy is always capitalism (I am saying this with clenched teeth)#riz out of all of them being aroace fucks with me SO bad. bc its also established that elmsville specifically and probably the#majority of solace is not. made for goblins. and that becomes sklonda being worked to the bone and pok dying on the job#and riz spending all his time trying to keep his friends together. maybe to the point of it being injurous#like. do u get what I mean. its an economy of time it takes your time it eats up your time#not just the gukgaks but everyone you have to spend time to get to live and you don't have a lot of time left in a day#and you have to spend it carefully. you have to prioritize#you're somewhere without an established community and companionship is bought with your time spent working#this place doesn't take care of you. at the end of the day who do you have who'd prioritize you. do you understand me#the evolved aroace loathing where if your friends and family are granted more time nobody would have to choose. we live in a society#holds ur hand we live in a society. idk if Im making any sense#anyway . uhhh riz is my favourite that's my statement thank you for listening. au revoir
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Please intentionally attempt to see the magic in everything. Everything is magic, even if you understand the "boring" reasons why things happen. Look at the magic in growing plants, the magic of your muscles flexing and retracting, the magic of your eyes and skull, the magic of a cat's purr.
It's all magic. Understanding the "why" is just understanding what makes things magical, it doesn't change that it's all significant and magic.
#positivity#this has helped with my sense of aimlessness personally. it isn't even about belief in religion or gd or anything like that#it's about genuine appreciation and enthusiasm for the world and universe you live in#i personally always disliked the 'why feel awe about [thing] when [long technical answer about how it works]'#yes a plant grows through chemical reactions. but that's still magic. why deny yourself awe and wonder?#i can tell you the chemical reactions which make your arm flex. but that doesn't mean it isn't magic💛💛💛
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Thank GOD for those new promo pics.... I've always said this was the way I picture Aziraphale in modern day if he'd been the demon instead, and now I have the perfect angel!Crowley to match!
#no offense to anyone with other headcanons#but i always find reverse omens to be way too ooc for me#not bc aziraphale is a demon and crowley is an angel that makes total sense#but making crowley an innocent lil bean and aziraphale a scruffy badass just kinda....#idk i feel like you don't have to change their inherent them-ness just bc they're reversed#esp bc the point is that they're so similar in so many ways and what they are doesn't define who they are#ANYWAY all that to say aziraphale would still be stuffy and old-fashioned and prissy and soft#and crowley would still try to be the coolest mfer alive and both succeed and fail bc he's actually a huge lovesick dork#and these pics captures that aesthetic in my head SO perfectly#(also bonus headcanon that instead of getting snake eyes aziraphale's hair darkens along with his wings to symbolize his fall from grace)#good omens#reverse omens#Aziraphale#crowley#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#gomens#angel crowley#demon aziraphale#passengers 2016#rivals 2024#david tennant#michael sheen
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The goat fleece is funny. I thought the Bishops would acknowledge a new crown bearing caprine randomly showing up in place of the lamb that killed them but nope, they never make any mention of the goat (as far as I'm aware). Those guys just go along with it lol.
#cult of the lamb#my post#gif#cotl goat#cotl narinder#cotl fanart#narigoat#narilamb#idk if I should tag that but when I was drawing these my thought process was that goat is just the lamb wearing the goats skin bc they have#the fleece on#so not the actual goat if that makes any sense#just a halloween costume#but narinder doesn't know that#he cheats on me every save file idk what to do because its always with my favorite followers who I don't wanna kill#cheating tw#infidelity tw
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one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.
one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.
i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.
the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.
my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.
i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.
#writeblr#i was doing a lot with high school students. over and over again#other teachers kept asking me what i was doing differently - why the kids listened to me. i am not particularly foreboding#and i have a pretty firm personal policy of never reacting in anger#godhelpme.#i was always kind of taken aback#because in general the kids were pretty easy. i explained i needed to keep everything “PG-13” because this was my workplace#and it was kind of their workplace#too. besides#i love swearing#and since i couldn't swear#neither could they - so if they were going to say “fuck” or become violent#they needed to choose a really specific time#because we only get “the one”.. sure enough - nobody wanted to waste the one very specific “fuck” utterance. kids listened.#i think just because - that rule makes sense. the kids understand that i don't want to be unfair to them#that censorship is stupid#but that i'm under these rules too so like let's ride it out together#also i look young and tbh between me and u nobody wants to make the nice english teacher cry#the way these kids defended me to their friends was really genuinely so heartwarming bc the Grouchy Frat Boy#would be like MISS RAQUEL DOESN'T DESERVE THAT KIND OF AN ATTITUDE BRO DON'T TALK BACK TO HER
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When you talk about Dick and self sacrifice its easy to focus on Bruce, partially because of the famous "I'd die for you" panel and partially bc there are numerous instances where he actually puts those words into practice, but its been shown that he readily throws himself into mortal danger for any of his loved ones, and also strangers, civilians, and villains (on occasion, which emphasize the few times he chooses not to save people, cough cough)
And ofc this isn't unique to Nightwing, self-sacrifice and heroics go hand and hand and everything I'm about to say definitely applies to some of the Bats and other non-meta heroes (Bruce especially)
At some point it loses its impact, ya know? If in the heat of the moment you'll die for anyone what does it mean that you'll die for one specific person as well? You can't give your life to someone more than you give your life for others, self-sacrifice is an action not really an ideology as Dick often treats it.
Taking a bullet for a random civilian is the exact same action as taking a bullet for your partner of 80 20-some years. You can't die for someone twice (except this is comic books and you can but its generally considered a writing faux-pas)
"I'd die for you." "You'd die for anyone." How do you contrast such a strong devotion with an abject disregard for your self preservation?? The love is there, absolutely, but why does the intent matter when the outcome is the same?? What's the fucking difference??? Uhg!
Its so very interesting to me how Dick treats his own life, at a certain point self-sacrifice becomes selfish and concerning, more like suicidality than heroism (as most strongly evidenced by Chemo) and I feel like we should talk about that more
#he takes every life lost like a personal failure#as does Bruce#but somehow /their/ deaths are always acceptable collateral damage#the concept of living to fight and save others another day simply does not occur to them when it comes down to the wire#no matter the lives they may save in the future#i appreciate heroes that have a practicality to them#i wish Bruce and Dick had more of it#but then. I don’t think they’d be the same people#sorry if this doesn't make sense I just had to get out what I've been thinking about recently#dick grayson#bruce tag#dick grayson analysis#cleaning out my drafts
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A Deep Dive Into Why Cass Threw Dick Out A Window
If you've been here long enough you've probably seen or heard of this moment, which is super hilarious and iconic. It's mostly discussed in reference to Dick and Cass' relationship. However, in my opinion Cass throwing Dick out a window had very little to do with her opinion of him, or even of Barbara; it has more to do with her understanding of romance and love. I briefly touched on this in my gender/sexuality post, but I'm going to explain more in depth my interpretation of how Dick functions in Batgirl (2000) as a whole. (This moment is very open to interpretation though, this is just my opinion!). So let's try to answer Dick's question: what was that all about?
Love, Language, and DickBabs
While Puckett's run is notable for not having Cass date anyone, romantic love does play a role in Cass' early understanding of the world. It's the impetus that spurs her to write: in issue 2, she sees a wife read a letter from her deceased husband, and her reaction affects Cass so strongly she immediately starts trying to write. (She also kisses the husband on the cheek earlier, which may or may not be a crush). Romance, and the ability to communicate your love, is a fundamental part of Cass' desire to learn language.
So we have Cass, who has experienced neither love nor language, living with Babs, who's in a relationship with Dick. This telephone conversation in #4 (the issue where a metahuman changes Cass' brain into understanding language) again links romance to communication. Dick and Babs are talking on the phone, unable to see each other but understanding each other perfectly; Cass and Babs, on the other hand, live together and can't understand each other at all.
"She can't talk, so it's not all that different [to living alone]." Babs is telling an eavesdropping Cass that her inability to speak prevents her from love and connection - a love and connection symbolised by one of the first romantic relationships Cass is consistently around, Dick and Barbara.
Dick as an Ideal
There's a debate whether Cass likes Dick or not because half the time they're friendly, and half the time she's punching him or throwing him out windows. This disparity makes sense if you consider that Cass strongly associates DickBabs with communication, understanding, love - very idealised notions - but she does not associate Dick as a person with them. Her interactions with Dick (sans Babs) are cute and normal - Batgirl #29 and Nightwing #81 feature some very adorable Dick-Cass moments, with no real tension whatsoever.
It's only when Cass sees Dick in a romantic light (as in associated with Babs) that she makes him into a symbol.
Cass often tries to copy Babs, thinking it's the 'correct' thing to do - in DC First: Batgirl/Joker, she goes after Joker because that's what Barbara did; later in Horrocks' run she'll wear Barbara's outfit. In a way, Cass' affairs with Tai'Darshan and Kon - as much as I do think Tai'Darshan was genuine attraction - is another way to 'copy' Barbara. In #42, Cass stares at a picture of Dick and Babs while asking if Babs likes boys. Obviously Cass knows the answer is yes, but see what she asks next, and how Barbara responds:
She shifts from 'like' to 'love', and Babs responds that she 'care[s]' about him. For Cass, whose arc in Horrocks' run is about parsing out the nuances of attraction, understanding the difference between like, love, and care is incredibly difficult. She struggles to separate familial from romantic (Bruce in #50) or romantic from platonic (Kon, and in somewhat the reverse way Steph). In this conversation, Cass comes to associate Dick with like, love, and care - DickBabs becomes not just a symbol of romantic love, but of any connection whatsoever.
The Old Costume
I've discussed elsewhere that Cass wearing Babs' old costume in #45 is a representation of her desire to be 'girly', and how she associates girlhood with someone other than herself, discarding her own costume for Babs'. But putting on a costume is not the only prerequisite for being a 'girl'. In Babs' speech to Cass, she emphasises being sexually attractive to men, with her final comment being about this "particular look Dick used to give [her]". For Cass, visual language is incredibly important; putting on Babs' costume is not about being or feeling like a girl, but about being perceived as one. Dick is symbolic of the perceiver: the one who can essentially 'grant' women their femininity.
But Cass is disgusted when Tim calls her hot, which adds to her confusion - why should Dick being attracted to Babs make Babs happy, but Tim (who's not a sibling at this time) perceiving her like that grosses her out? Cass' inability to feel good - to feel 'feminine' - through the male gaze is another sign, to her, of her failure to be a woman.
Which finally brings us to issue 46...
That Ableist Kon Comment
Cass finds out Dick breaks Babs' heart and then starts hallucinating on a drug. One of the things she hallucinates is Kon saying "who wants to date a cripple? Ain't that right, Nightwing?" and Nightwing responding "not me--at least, not anymore."
For the first time, we get to the heart of why DickBabs mattered to Cass: it was an example of a disabled person in a loving, romantic relationship. It goes back to that phone call in #4, where Babs implies that Cass is hard to care about because she can't speak. The Kon comment suggests Cass has carried that with her all this time, trying to find proof that she can be loved, no matter her disability. DickBabs showed her it could be done - the break-up shows her now that it can't be done.
Dick's hallucination mocks her disability: "look at her--she can't even read!" Attributing this mockery to Dick (whose real-life counterpart, unlike the other hallucinations, has never said anything remotely like this) shows that this 'Dick-as-ideal' is intrinsically tied to Cass' self-worth.
Honestly this whole post stemmed from me thinking about this one panel. There is no real reason, from Cass' view of Dick as a person, for her to think he's brave and noble and kind (more so than anyone else). But it's in the DickBabs context - that Dick seemed to love, wholeheartedly, a disabled woman - that makes Cass think this way. And now that DickBabs is broken up, it shows that she, too, is rotten to the core; that someone like her cannot be loved.
And so when Dick shows up, she throws him out the window.
Conclusion
In this moment, Cass isn't just reacting to Dick breaking up with Barbara, she's reacting to what it means to her. If Dick can't stay with Barbara, then that means Cass, as another disabled woman, is also unable to be loved. This all leads up to #50, which features another Cass punch to Dick's face, but more importantly is when Bruce and Cass reconcile through Cass' first language. It's a confirmation that though her verbal skills may not be fully developed, she still can communicate, and she can love and be loved.
I don't think a lot of the ideas I touched on here are fully developed, or conclude cleanly. For example, how does Cass' 'failure' to be a woman relate to her inability to be loved? Is she able to have a stable romantic relationship? There are lots more questions, but the role Dick specifically plays in Cass' understanding of romance is probably not going to develop further. I just think it's interesting how Horrocks uses the Dick-Babs relationship to explore Cass' identity.
#cassandra cain#dick grayson#barbara gordon#batgirl 2000#meta#im sorry if this doesn't make sense im not sure how coherent this is#i always see people bring the window thing up as an example of cass hating dick which is fair but undersells this moment by a lot#it's one of the many many moments in horrocks run that are somewhat ambiguous and have to do with cass' gender crisis#people can still joke about this ofc it's funny but it's also just really intriguing to me#idk anyway forever a horrocks champion i guess. he gets some flack for sexualising cass (which does happen and is gross)#but his exploration of cass' gender and sexuality is STILL unmatched. god give cass more long-term woman writers
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