#it doesn’t help my group of irl friends is so ridiculously small.

[spirit-praise-and-beauty]

I have such an insanely hot take nobody on here is gonna like.

I don’t like “spooky season”. I don’t like Halloween. I don’t like people treating the entire month like a holiday. Makes it feel far less special and even then it’s not special.

I think I’ve just been hurt a fair few too many times by people who do this kind of thing and make it out to be the greatest time of the year. Everyone gets all excited and I’m just kind of… left at home wondering why. What the big deal is. I don’t live anywhere I can give candy to kids—it’s so damn rural here nobody comes by, my driveway is a little less than a quarter of a mile long!

I’ve tried to love it, I really have, but I just get miserable and jealous, especially with how little time I have to do anything anymore. Between starting classes to get into working healthcare and art commissions and whatnot, I can’t really do squat this year, and it sucks hardcore. It sucks hardcore every year.

I’m definitely not telling anyone to stop having their fun. That’s not what this is. I just needed to lament a little bit for a child’s joy that is too long lost to show its face again for another few years.

Maybe one day I’ll love it again. I love goth shit so so so much, so it sucks so fucking bad this season just upsets me. So for now, I think I’ll stick to my more poetic love of autumn for being the season of beauty in the death of things around us.

I’m just… curious to know if I’ll ever feel childlike joy again like everyone else does.

[still-a-morosexual-help]

OBEY ME! LESSON 55 DETAILED SUMMARY AND DISCUSSION/THEORIES

*I wrote this days after the lesson was first posted and never bothered to go back and edit it so meaning there will be me theorizing about the next lesson as well

*I write a small para for each chapter and I write it immediately after finishing that chapter so there’ll be theorizing about the next chapter too

*I swear more than usual here

*Some of the dialogue is heavily plagiarized and a few is lifted directly from the story, the game is to figure which is which.

*Summaries and Discussions/theories for all the other lessons can be found on this blog under #obey me spoilers or #my theories or #my headcanons

OKAY! So first off the background for this is absolutely gorgeous and shows a real demon. You know the kind you’d imagine an actual demon to look like and everything’s dark (black, grey, brown) there’s a castle on a mountain like area with a narrow suspended pathway leading to it, there are crows flying around and a person in a robe pointing what looks like a lit wand at a snarling attacking demon, there are skulls and what looks like weapons on the ground and my favourite part: a person in a long robe, kneeling on the ground, covering the top of their face with their hands and wailing to the sky. It’s all tailor made to my taste and I love it! There’s one locked lesson.

It’s breakfast time and Asmo & Beel are heading to an all you can eat global sweet sampler, MC questions it and Asmo says you can get desserts from all over the world there and Asmo’s hoping to live stream it. Asmo invites MC but Mammon interjects asking them to come see “cute horsies” with him. “’Horsies.’ He’s so pretentious. Shut up, it’s the fucking horse race. ‘Horsies.’” Says Levi. Levi invites MC to a real life TSL themed escape room (that sounds really fun tbh), Satan invites them to come watch the sci-fi movie they were talking about, in their home theatre. (he’s actually watched it 3 times already but he read online theories about it and now he wants to see if he can catch the basis for those theories in the movie). They all start arguing about it (except Beel who’s just eating) when MC gets a text from Diavolo congratulating them on their 5th star and wishing them luck for the other 2 and inviting them to an amusement park date. Everyone – MC included – is kind of baffled by the one on one date with Diavolo. They ask any of the others if they want to tag along but they all refuse but Beel asks if MC can take Belphie along since he hasn’t really left the house in a while and Beel’s worried. MC texts asking if they can bring Belphie along too and Diavolo says the more the merrier and I just know this is gonna end in disaster like did Belphie ever even resolve all the problems he had with Diavolo back in S1?

Beel drags Asmo along to wake Belphie up because a.) he doesn’t want Asmo to leave to the sweets thing without him b.) they need all the help they can get to wake him up. MC suggests using force and Asmo happily volunteers to grab Belphie, turn him over and drop him on the ground, Beel says they can’t do this to poor Belphie cause Beel’s a sweetheart, and says the most force he’ll allow them to use is by tickling Belphie, which Asmo then does. It doesn’t work so Asmo says if they’re gonna use force they should do something like this right before he screams “ASMO DIIIIIIVE!!!” and jumps on top of Belphie as Beel protests and I love that despite what you’d assume from his aesthetic and despite what Asmo would like you to believe he’s a lot more rough and tumble and violent (I just really love the sweet with hidden edges trope as much as I love the jerk with a gooey centre trope). Belphie says ow and Asmo brightly and sweetly cheers that he woke up as if just seconds ago he hadn’t used a wrestling move on his sleeping baby brother. Beel says that though Belphie’s body is awake his mind isn’t (relatable), Beel fixes Belphie’s bedhead and Asmo complains that Belphie’s a stereotypical spoilt brat youngest child and says that Diavolo obviously would’ve wanted a one on one day with MC. Beel says he knows and it’s another reason he wanted Belphie to go. Asmo agrees saying that after everything if MC chooses their boss over any one of the seven guys MC actually lives with it’d feel wrong. Asmo tells Belphie to keep an eye on them and not let it turn into a “whirlwind romance”, Belphie just asks for his pillow and Asmo’s upset cause he doesn’t feel confident about the plan now. Poor Diavolo being constantly cockblocked

On the way Belphie complains about being forced to do this when his schedule is just as busy but MC says all he does is sleep and he says because naps are important to him and he takes them seriously. He wishes he could go back home and asks why of all the demons he had to be stuck with Diavolo (so guess those issues are still around good to know). MC asks if he still dislikes Diavolo cause of his fondness for humans and Belphie says he’s fully gotten over that whole human genocide phase which is great to have confirmed. They ask why he dislikes Diavolo – lots of reasons. He always thinks he’s right and expects to get his way about anything and everything and never listens to anyone’s opinions. He hadn’t bothered to listen to Belphie back when the exchange program had been proposed and Belphie was against it (and I mean to be fair back then Belphie was 100% okay with killing the entire human race for no reason other than the fact that he blamed them for Lilith’s death when really they had nothing to do with it and it was definitely the angels’ fault. I mean I don’t think I would have listened to him either and he really does have the spoilt youngest kid personality. I think out of all the brother’s Belphie’s the one who has the fondest memories of the Celestial Realm – probably helped by the fact that Lilith was still alive then – which is why he never blamed them for what happened and instead directed all his anger at the humans) Lucifer hadn’t let Belphie plead his case (what case Belphie!? That all humans should die!?) and that Diavolo’s surrounded by demons like Barbatos and Lucifer who shield him from criticism (and yeah I agree that this is true and that it’s a bad thing but Lucifer wasn’t shielding Diavolo from criticism when he refused to let Belphie plead his case, he was protecting Belphie cause if Diavolo found out Belphie wanted to kill humans he would have thrown him in jail like he did back at the end of S1 and MC you dumb fuck can you pls tell all this to Belphie) and that Diavolo doesn’t understand that he’s been saved from criticism and Belphie hates that about him and he shudders at the thought of spending the day with Diavolo. On the way they run into Simeon and tell him where they’re going, he says Luke’s been wanting to go there since he saw a ad for it and MC says they could take Luke along with them but he says Luke’s at a cooking class today but that he’d probably love to hear about it when he gets back. Simeon then takes off saying he has a meeting. Belphie goes to call after Simeon to tell him something and catches a glimpse of the person Simeon was supposed to meet. He’s surprised and says “Is that…” and when MC asks what’s wrong he said he must have just imagined it and that the person Simeon was meeting just looked really familiar and HOLY SHITTTTTTT GUYSSS rfhiefjoSJKWDLDADJSJ was I right are we really gonna get to see angels???? That’s the only explanation, right? It would have had to be Michael or even Raphael and there’s only a few lessons left and this and the next lesson are probably gonna focus on Diavolo and Belphie’s relationship and following the patter MC should get their 6th star next lesson, then the two lessons after that will be their final exam for the 7th star and then the last two lessons will focus on saying goodbye as the brothers go back to the Devildom and all that’s gonna have a lot going on but if they’re teasing the angels being here now could they manage to slip them in or will that be too much? I mean they’ll be introducing a whole new (or two whole new) character(s) and ahhh I’m rambling but pls I need the tension and angst between them and the brothers ok I’m done.

When they get there Belphie complains about how crowded it is and MC tries to look for Diavolo to which Belphie points to a group of fangirls surrounding Diavolo. Diavolo answers them sweetly and one of them says he’s even better looking irl and another shyly asks if he wants to walk around with them. Belphie cuts that short by barging in and asking Diavolo what’s going on, Diavolo happily greets Diavolo and one of the girls realises that Belphie called Diavolo ‘lord’. Diavolo apologises to them and said he’s already made plans with friends (and ugh he’s so sweet I love him just wanna give him a big hug I bet he gives great hugs), the girls are very understanding and sweet about it and they leave. Belphie’s a lil shit and says “Aww, too bad, Lord Diavolo. I’d hate to interrupt just as they were hitting on you…” and Diavolo laughs it off saying it wasn’t like that (and can Diavolo not understand sarcasm or does he just ignore it? Both seem highly likely) Belphie disagrees and says they were clearly hitting on him and Diavolo changes the subject and says he can’t believe Belphie actually came, MC explains why and Diavolo says it’s understandable that Beel was worried after Belphie hadn’t left the house in a week (Me, who hasn’t left the house in almost a year: :’) ) Belphie says he knows Diavolo wanted a date with MC but too bad cause now Belphie’s gonna third wheel them. Diavolo tells Belphie not to be ridiculous and that he’s happy that Belphie came (and the thing is other than a small twinge of disappointment this is probably the truth). Belphie says that it probably won’t be a good idea to go around calling him “Lord” Diavolo given the way the girls reacted, Diavolo says he can just call him by his name since he wouldn’t mind but Belphie says he himself would mind and anyway if Lucifer or Barbatos found out Belphie wasn’t using his proper title they’d kill him. So Belphie suggests a nickname which Diavolo’s really happy about and MC suggests DD (they can also suggest John or Cap’n), Diavolo adores it and asks them to call him it all the time hereafter (I want to give him a hug so badly). Diavolo then happily and with lots of exclamation points goes on to say that it’s time to let their hair down and that Barbatos had made minute to minute schedule for them to follow so that they could enjoy the park to the fullest and Belphie says he wants to go home

Diavolo keeps unsuccessfully trying to get Belphie to wear a themed headband and take a group photo, saying he also wants to wear the headband on a boat ride and the ferris wheel. Diavolo gives MC sad puppy dog eyes (which I’m sure he uses successfully on Lucifer regularly, but that don’t affect Barbatos at all) and MC can’t refuse, asking Belphie if there’s anything that’ll get him to change his mind. He says no but he’s not stopping the others from doing it, Diavolo says since they’re here as a group they all should do it, Belphie snaps saying he doesn’t like how Diavolo’s using MC as a tool to bend Belphie to his will and he says he’s going home. Diavolo tries to stop him but he marches off and Diavolo drags MC off to chase after Belphie. Diavolo grabs Belphie by the arm outside the park and begs for a chance to apologize, Belphie denies it and tries to free his arm. Diavolo refuses to let him go saying he should have listened to and considered Belphie’s opinions now as well as in the past, Belphie’s shocked and MC asks Belphie to just hear Diavolo out. He agrees but tells them not to have any expectations of what this’ll accomplish.

Belphie says he doesn’t want to wear the headband or take pics and that he’s only gonna ride what he wants to, Diavolo agrees with all that. He asks if Belphie will stay with them and Belphie agrees and Diavolo is just so brightly stupidly happy and I can completely understand how he was able to make Lucifer question his entire world view. Diavolo’s so happy he starts waving Belphie’s arm around unconsciously and then asks Belphie what rides he wants to go on as they make their way back inside, Belphie doesn’t answer instead he’s blushing and annoyed and asks Diavolo to let go of his hand. Belphie wants to ride ‘The Twisting Freefall of Death II’, MC & Diavolo would like to not freefall to their death thank you very much. Belphie quotes the ride as being, “the single most terrifying experience in the world where you’ll scream for mercy and receive none” Diavolo says, “Did you say scream for mercy…” Belphie happily agrees. Diavolo turns to his last hope, MC, and asks how they feel about this. I like to imagine that even MC has a line where their lacking self-preservation will kick in. Belphie just smiles saying it won’t actually kill them (this would have been more reassuring coming from someone who didn’t once murder MC but whatever.) They can also ask Diavolo how feels about it. After the ride Belphie’s cackling loudly and gushing about how great it was. He’s especially happy about the look on Diavolo’s face during the ride, saying he’s never seen it before (probably the look of a demon praying to God for mercy). MC can say that Belphie seemed to be having a lot of fun, cheer how the ride was the best or say they thought they were going to die. For the 3rd option Belphie very cheerfully says MC’s alive and ok. Belphie asks Diavolo how it was only to realise Diavolo’s missing. He fell off the ride at its highest peak. He’s dead.

They’ve tried texting Diavolo but he doesn’t read them. Belphie wonders what kind of person actually gets lost in an amusement park unless they’re 5. Then he says “…is that what it is? Is he actually 5 yrs old?” He remembers that mammon got lost in a park once too and says the only thing the two of them have in common is that they’re both basically children, They then run into my favourite character in the entire game – the butcher (is2g this man needs to become a recurring side character) who is here with his wife and daughter. He asks them if the rest of the harem is here too and Belphie lets him know that unfortunately they’re here with a new inductee who got lost. The butcher offers to help and asks for a description. MC says he’s the owner of the corvo hotel chain and the butcher wonders who the fuck are these people in the first place to know someone like that and then because the butcher’s the sweetest person alive he too starts worrying about diavolo, scared that he might have gotten kidnapped. Belphie says “there’s no one in the human world oh shit I mean THE WORLD. THE NORMAL WORLD ALL US HUMANS - BECAUSE WE ALL ARE HUMANS - LIVE IN” the butcher now probably used to how weird this cult is (because they definitely are a satanic cult with their extremely obvious demon names, how weird and unused to normal life they are, 7 of them being obviously infatuated by the eighth one but the butcher’s not gonna bring this up cause with the amount of meat they buy from him he could keep his family afloat for years AND pay for his daughters college tuition) ignores this and says he hasn’t seen Diavolo but advices them to check the information desk and ask them to page Diavolo over the loudspeakers. They thank him and Belphie promises to stop by with Beel later, the butcher says he’ll see him then and tells them to take care (I love this man). Barbatos text MC asking how they’re doing and which itinerary of his they’re following cause yes apparently he made more than one and telling them he trusts them to take care of diavolo (and I can’t believe it took me this long to realise Barbatos is a helicopter parent). MC leaves him on read. Lucifer then texts them saying Satan told him where they’d gone and telling them that since the two of them are with Diavolo he assumes he’s okay but just to clarify make sure nothing happens to Diavolo. MC leaves him on read. Belphie says that Barbatos and Lucifer are way too overprotective. Barbatos and MC then realise how fucked they are if either of them find out that they’ve lost diavolo and so decide to skip the whole loudspeaker thing.

They can decide if they want to check by the lake, the ferris wheel or the last ride they went in. He’s not at the lake and they choose to take a boat across the lake to get to the ferris wheel cause it’s faster than going around it. Belphie actually enjoys the boat ride and asks if the two of them can just enjoy themselves together for a bit instead of looking for Diavolo, MC says “I’m worried about Diavolo also can you not remember how fucked we are if we don’t find him”. Belphie gets jealous that MC seems to care more about Diavolo than him (they’re just been practical! If the roles were reversed they’d have shut Diavolo down to look for you!) and says that even they have a real soft spot for Diavolo (He’s like a giant golden retriever!!).  There’s an announcement over the loudspeaker for MC and ‘Snoozy’ saying that DD’s waiting for them at the info desk. Belphie’s not happy about ‘snoozy’ (understandable)

[whosaysitsfantasy]

Juke/Maddison & Charlie

So I just want to address something about Juke and then I’m literally not going to talk about it again, because I’ve seen a few posts about people shipping the actors and then people hating on the ship a little bit because of the age gap and it’s just been frustrating me so I wan’t to kinda get this out and then just get back to enjoying the show. Also Apologies if this upsets anyone but these are my opinions and you in no way have to agree with them I just ask that you read my thoughts fully before passing judgment and to please be respectful.

Here is what I think it is ok to do:

Shipping Luke and Julie together. Why? Because in the show they are both teenagers (16/17). I saw someone say it was kinda gross because the boys should be like 42? which I think is a little ridiculous because if they had lived sure they would have been 42 or w.e. but they didn’t... they died, and it is  canon that to them no time has passed. What this means is that the boys are still mentally, emotionally and physically 17 years old. For this reason the characters are perfectly capable of being together and their biggest obstacle remains Luke being a ghost lol. 

Here is what I think it is NOT ok to do: 

Shipping Maddison and Charlie together in real life. Now I’m going to break down for you why this is gross and not ok and why saying “when she’s 18 he can date her” is also not ok. 

A 16 year old and a 22 year old have two completely different maturity levels. A 16 year old can be mature absolutely but that doesn’t mean that they are at the  same maturity level as a 22 year old. I’m 26 and I can tell you that my maturity changed DRASTICALLY between the ages of 16-24. I use to think I was very mature when I was 16. When I hit 22 and looked back at who I was I realized that I was not nearly as mature as I believed I was and now at 26 I can clearly see the differences in who I was as a person at these ages. I can guarantee that most people (if they’re self aware enough) would agree that their maturity level was completely different as a teenager then it was once they hit their twenties. A lot of this has to do with the simple fact that in your 20′s you’ve typically gained more life experience through jobs, and relationships and higher education your brain has also developed more. Now. Maddison is definitely mature for her age in no way am I claiming she isn’t however it is still very obvious through different interviews and lives I’ve seen of her and of Charlie that they are not at the same level. Mentally, emotionally, physically.They definitely have more of a brother/sister friendship. It’s clear that they care about each other and they can of course get a long as friends but friendship and an intimate relationship are two completely different things. Maddison and Charlie’s maturity’s work fine as a friendship but if you were to factor in intimacy and romance it quickly becomes problematic. Some people might still think that the maturity levels don’t matter. I’m here to tell you it does. 

While I don’t think that Charlie would be the type of guy to ever pressure a girl he is with, that doesn’t mean that the pressure would not still exist. If they were to hypothetically date Maddison could easily feel pressured into participating in things she might not really feel ready for like certain intimate acts, parties ect because she want’s to please her partner or because she might feel like this is what she SHOULD be doing rather then doing what she is emotionally and mentally ready for. That pressure can easily influence someone of a young age who hasn’t had many experiences into doing things they eventually regret or doing things that end up having a negative impact on their mental health and the way they view themselves or even how they view healthy/unhealthy relationships down the line. Now Maddison seems smart and has a good support system but your support system can’t protect you 24/7 in an intimate relationship no matter how hard they try which is why a lot of teenagers end up going through something that they end up wishing they hadn’t done because they didn’t know any better. To also say that he can just “wait” for her to turn 18 is just predatory and gross and suggests that it’s still ok to pursue someone of a young age so long as you wait till they are legal which it is not that still means you wanted to be with a minor even if you wait till they are 18.

Also it is important to note that an actors personal life is NONE of your business. An Actors job is to perform in the show/play/movie that they have been hired to perform in and to then promote that project. That’s it. That is all they owe you and anything else is entirely up to their discretion. You are not owed information about their personal lives and you are not owed a say in who they date. If you like two actors who are dating and you think they are cute that’s fine, if they are sharing their relationship and you want to support it that is fine but you have to understand boundaries. I’ve seen fans overstep in a LOT of fandoms (one example being Lili and Cole from Riverdale) where they attack other people for being close to the people in the relationship or they bother the actors to update them about their relationship ect. It’s disrespectful and it’s honestly not your place regardless of if they have shared information about a relationship previously. It’s also not cool to try to pressure the actors into dating, you don’t know what they are actually like irl you have no idea if they are actually compatible you do not have a full picture of the situation and for that reason your opinion should be kept to yourself.

Finally I want to address the whole Luke & Julie kissing issue because I totally understand why people are a little uncertain about it due to the age gap. Now normally I’d be a little put off by it but I am actually ok with the idea of Luke and Julie kissing on screen and I’m just going to list off quickly below why I think it’s ok and why I wouldn’t get upset if it happened.

1. It is very clear that Maddison’s family (specifically her dad) are very involved with Maddison and her job on JATP. Mr.Reyes is often shown on set with her at rehearsals and during shooting. He was there when they practiced the perfect harmony dance which I personally thought was kinda intimate. I feel better about it because I know she has a strong support system who will be there to ensure that if a kiss DID happen she would be safe because she has her family looking out for her on set.

2. Much like above both Kenny and Charlie are very respectful people who very clearly have a lot of respect and love for Maddison. I also don’t think they would ever put Maddison into a position she was uncomfortable with. If a kiss DID happen I am sure there will be a lot of conversations about it and it would be done in a respectful healthy way.

3. This is a job. They are not kissing because they like each other in real life they are not pursuing anything romantically. They are performing a job that they are being paid for in front of a group of people also performing a job. This for me helps me feel less gross about it because even though they are actually kissing it’s not a ‘real’ romantic kiss. It’ll be a staged one that they have gone over and discussed at length with Kenny.

4. This is a Kenny Ortega project. The show has very clearly established that the relationships are about more than physical intimacy. IF we get a kiss between Julie and Luke we are not going to get more then a PG rated kiss.. hell probably more of a G rated kiss. Not only because this is a project by Kenny but because the actors are different ages. It is also unlikely that we will get more then one maybe two kisses a season. I personally don’t think they’re going to make them kiss in season two I think it might happen if we get season 3 but I would still be ok with a season 2 kiss because again it will probably be very simple and very respectful especially cause it’ll also probably be Julie’s 1st kiss. If they were to have them  make out or something that would be when I would  feel uncomfortable, but that just doesn’t seem like Kenny’s vibe. He’s worked with a lot of young actors and it’s not like they’re going to french kiss or something. Kissing is intimate of course but a small closed mouth kiss is honestly pretty innocent in my opinion especially if done correctly. So it doesn’t bother me much.

5. Finally by the time they get around to filming a season 2 or 3 Maddison will also be a bit older (17 or 18) hopefully so she will also be at an age where it will feel more comfortable for her.

So in conclusion: shipping Juke good, shipping Maddy & Charlie bad and wanting Juke to kiss is acceptable so long as they do it appropriately which from what I’ve seen of the cast and the crew I believe they would. I personally have a lot of faith in the creators of this show it’s clearly a very healthy supportive environment and I trust that they know what they are doing. 

Again these are my personal opinions but I felt like some people weren’t really looking at it from a completely logical standpoint but more of an emotional one which is understandable because its a very serious subject matter and it could very well also be a trigger for many people who’ve gone through something similar. I just needed to get all that off my chest cause this kind of thing can breed negativity in fandoms and thats why I don’t participate in them anymore. and listen if this was a different show with a different cast and crew and creator and they had a 16 year old and a 22 year old kissing I would probably find it more unsettling but I think one of the reasons why we all love this show so much is BECAUSE it is so healthy and because the cast are so involved and vocal about the show. I have no doubt in my mind that Maddison would have the space to speak up if she was uncomfortable and I have no doubt in my mind that Kenny and her family would make sure she was safe.

So anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk and please if you disagree that’s totally ok just don’t be hateful, I’m happy to have discussions but I won’t tolerate rudeness cause at the end of the day it’s a show and it’s out of our hands and I’m not saying you have to agree with me. This is just how I feel about these issues. 

Ok thanks bye <3

[ryuichirou]

Sorry if this is personal but is it tough to be LGBT in Russia/ produce LGBT content in Russia (I mean it’s the internet but still)

Oh, this is an interesting topic… I’ll answer both of these questions and start with the content.

While being LGBT isn’t illegal per-se, there are a lot of limitations that LGBT people meet here. When it comes to creating content, for example, there is the Gay propaganda law. You might’ve heard about this one, it basically means “you can’t produce any content that portrays LGBT in any way, because it’ll make our children turn gay and we don’t want that”. But the thing is, the wording in this law is so… convenient for the State, they can basically call anything an illegal propaganda if they want to. Technically what we’re doing over here is illegal too. If they’d want to call it illegal, that is.

This is the reason people who publish works that have LGBT-related content in them may have issues in the process. There are ways to avoid them, but it is still very hard to officially publish something that has any “iffy” content. Sometimes putting a “18+” label on the book/movie/tv-series/etc helps, sometimes selling said piece of media only on the internet helps, but still: there is always a possibility that a publisher might not be able to produce the product they want. Censorship is a thing, bans are a thing, all of this exists, but you never know whether you’ll be hit by it or not. Please keep in mind that Russia is also an extremely corrupted country.

If you’re just a content creator and post your stuff on the internet only, it’s usually ok. Homophobes exist, but they tend to exist somewhere else, not near fandom places. There are tons of artists from Russia who draw explicit stuff (and a lot of these people are LGBT), a lot of them print their merch and sell it on the geek art markets, and even though there were cases where a printing house refused to print someone’s slash illustration, it’s usually ok. But.

But but but. You still can be targeted and sued for the most ridiculous stuff. For example, you can read about Yulia Tsvetkova’s case, who was arrested for her body positive series of drawings + a drawing in support of LGBT-families under the “distribution of pornography” and “gay-propaganda” laws respectively. There are tons of drawings like these on the internet, but Yulia was specifically targeted because she is an activist who wasn’t quiet about her support of women and LGBT. As you can see, the “gay propaganda” law is a very convenient way to shut people up.

Another example that comes to mind is two gay guys who got married in a country that allows you to get married when you’re not a citizen (I think they did it in Denmark), and they tried making their marriage legal in Russia too because it doesn’t really contradict any law. They fled the country  because they started getting threats and their passports (along with their marriage) were deemed  invalid. They were also charged with a fee for “damaging their passports”.

Now our wonderful government, which loves cheating during its elections to the point where you get 146% total when the max is 100%, made this wonderful terrible election for changing the constitution. Their changes are a joke (not really funny tho) and its own topic, but one of the changes was that marriage is “a union between a man and a woman”. Now it says that in the constitution.

TL;DR: If they want to get you, they’ll find a way to get you. But if you’re just a rando who posts slashy smut on your twitter, they don’t care, at least not yet. They will use it against you if you start annoying the police. There are a lot of homophobes but the fandom spaces are usually relatively peaceful.

Personally, we’re lucky enough not to face any severe problems yet. We’re careful irl (people usually think we’re related lol) and only some of our friends know about us. We don’t show any affection to each other publicly. On the internet we’re surrounded by people who are friendly, and once again, people from the fandom spaces are usually more progressive than a regular Russian Pyotr or Oleg.

I, being an idiot that I am, used to draw tons of slash (nsfw too!) at classes right in front of my teachers while I was at the uni. And even though it definitely wasn’t very wise of me, no one ever approached me with “umm are those gays, are you gay too” question. The only ones that were interested by my drawings were two straight girls who read slash fanfiction. Maybe the rest of those who noticed were too shy :(

Katsu: I was always an idiot who likes to flex things as a teenager, so when Ryu and I started dating, I mentioned it in my school to some of my classmates. I’m pretty sure it started some nasty rumors, one guy was openly disgusted, but other than that, I haven’t heard anything from them and they never told teachers or parents, which could be consequences that I never considered. The only thing he said was “Are you a lesbian?” which wasn’t really offensive even though I’m not really a lesbian, but I was like... was that supposed to be an offensive word? Because it wasn’t. Right now I realise that I was lucky not to get beaten up lol I’m from a small city (not a town) and not the best district, but I guess nobody cared that much about this info even if they heard about it, plus people were/are usually afraid of me, so not even the worst boys who were obviously stronger (like that disgusted guy) touched me. I only mention it because I know for a fact that some of the people (like 2-3) were usually openly aggressive, it’s not like the worst class you can get in Russia where the only solution is to fucking suffer.

At the uni, I heard our group discussing lesbians, since students there were mostly girls by another disgusted individual, and I actually wanted to say to her something with a “Come at me bro” attitude (I tend to do that when I’m pissed off), but I just decided not to intervene, probably because these were the first couple of days in my first year. I still told one guy like a month later, he was rather cool with it. Anyway, as Ryu mentioned, there are places and people where you can mention it and get away with it, and where you better keep your mouth shut. Most of the country is the second option, but there’re for a fact a lot of nice and accepting people even out of the fandom. We don’t talk about our relationship for the most part because we don’t really need to, so here’s that. Sorry for being so talkative lol

[miraculouscataclyyysm]

Seating plan part 9

Alix being the best bro anyone could ask for, super squad being soft, Marinette and Felix's second date, miraculous swap

Link to part 8

After Alix fails in her plan to stop Chloe from stealing Marinette's diary and exposing her feelings for Felix to the whole class (this is way before Felix and Marinette get together) using her bunnix abilities (as a now full time part time hero she gets to keep the bunny miraculous on weekdays, Mari tried to convince fu that they should just keep them full time but his wisdom is confusing, once she’s the guardian the super squad becomes permanent) she goes back to that morning and purposefully makes herself and Mari late for school in the hopes of stopping Chloe from sneaking into Marinette’s room (she forgot about Sabrina) but once she gets to school she sees Chloe put Marinette’s diary into her bag *cue menacing butterfly* Alix is then akumatised into reverser, as reverser Alix has the ability to put whoever she zaps into permanent reverse mode, for example, she zaps Sabrina and suddenly she's walking backwards out of the school and towards the Dupain-cheng bakery to put back Marinette's diary back

cue Chloe screaming for Lb while trying to avoid Reversers zaps “hurry up! get this crazy obsessed she-devil away from me this instant before I call my father” lb smugly looks to chat and says “whats her father gonna do? fire us?” chat- “or banish us from Paris? they wouldn't last 10 minutes without you bugaboo” they both laugh and go defeat Reverser 

after the Akuma is defeated Alix goes to find Mari and tells her about the diary fief, sins Mari is totally over everyone's nonsense in my au she goes straight up to Chloe and says “I believe you have something of mine” and snaches her bag to retrieve her property, alix smirks as Chloe tries to yell and Sabrina's face goes bright red “you really wanna start yelling that Marinette is stealing from you when you literally just stole from her? are you really that dumb?”

master fu holds a yoga class for all the heroes to try and teach them how to control of there emotions betterto try and avoid any more of them becoming akumatised, Alix feels like she let Ladybug and Chat down because she wasn’t strong enough to fight hawkbitches power, LB tells her “I wish I was as strong as you Bunnix, why do you think I chose you to wheeled the bunny miraculous, why do you think I chose any of you? *talking to bunnix, carapace, Ryuko, viperion and Renard Arctique (Fox Felix)* it’s because I see how strong you all are, I know I can trust all of you, you have true hearts, never doubt yourselves....but if you do just remember that I will never doubt you, i see you” “that was beautiful my lady” *cue LB fondly rolling her eyes* then they have a big group hug and they all agree they’d never be able to do any of this without her leadership CP-“and Chats unshakable faith and positivity”, master fu smiles proudly at the group

Felix and Marinette going on there the second date, Mari face-timed Alix while getting ready because “what if I choose the wrong outfit sand he decided I'm too much of fashion disaster too date? what if he decides he never wants to speak to me again because of this one wrong decision” Alix is just sat looking at her phone screen watching Mari pace around her room like *my best friend is so blind* she eventually interrupts Mari “he's gonna love whatever you wear Mari, just because it's you that's wearing it, in case you haven't noticed in Felix's eyes you can do no wrong” *cue adorable Mari blush*

for there the second date they visit the louvre and then have a picnic made by Felix, he's trying to impress Mari so he totally watched a dozen youtube tutorials on how to make perfect bread, cookie and scones, Adrian and Nathalie had to intervene before he burnt down the kitchen but with a little help he did it (Adrian definitely sent Mari photos of felix covered in flour while struggling to roll out the cookie dough) after the picnic they walk around Paris holding hands as the sun sets 

The super squad girls love patrolling together, they have races around Paris, they talk about irl stuff (leaving out anything that would reveal there identity) and give each other advice, they practice new combat moves to surprise the guys with Bun-“Chats gonna get his ass handed to him again” *evil smirk from bunnix” Ryu- “Doesn't he always” *bunnix laughing* LB-“don’t be too harsh girls *LB smirking* it’s not the guys faults were total Badasses....their all strong too, where are all amazing” Bun-“just not as amazingly strong as us” *jokingly flexing her muscles*, one of the nights the girl hero’s are patrolling together Ryuko says “do you think you’d bring any other hero’s into the tam *Kagami is thinking about a certain blue hair friend while bringing up the question* “I have a few ideas, in case of emergencies *meaning max and Kim* then both Kagami and Alix simultaneously starts thinking about how amazing it would be to have Marinette on the team

The miraculous swap is very different in my au,well technically the actual fight is basically the same its just how it happens and the villain that's different,  Sabrina is akumatised into a villain with the ability to switch people (I can’t think of a name so let’s call her the switch witch), if she hits you with her power your physical appearances stays the same but your personalities and clothes change, she switches Chloe into a quiet girl ready to follow orders, Alya turns into a snapback wearing bro, rose is now a compulsive liar in zero pink, Alix is off building a robot and Felix is in the back of the class quietly drawing Marinette (okay he’s supposed to be swapped with nath but that’s actually very on-brand for Felix...) Sabrina is akumatised after returning to school on Monday wearing a new necklace her father bought her for her birthday, Chloe green with envy, because she had her eye on that very necklace, demands Sabrina take off “that utterly ridiculous eyesore or ill be forced to end this friendship” Marinette interjects and says “why should Sabrina's choice of clothing affect your friendship” Alix-“more like dictatorship” rose “I think your necklace is lovely Sabrina” Chloe- “No, that fashion disaster is utterly ridiculous, ridiculous I say, take it off now or were over Sabrina” Sabrina runs out of the room crying, she doesn't wanna lose Chloe (the heart wants what it wants I guess...) but she loves the necklace, her dad spent so much time trying to find the perfect git, she slumps to the hallway floor crying because just once she wishes she could treat Chloe like this, see how she likes it, see how she likes feeling bossed around and made to feel small, shes then akumatised 

during the battle with akumatised Sabrina (switch witch) LB and chat get hit with her power and switch miraculous, Ladybug is now in full black and feels the sudden need to make a pun and chat Noir is suddenly hit with the bone-crushing weight of responsibility *hehe jk...but not really* its mostly similar to canon just with a different villain and a slightly different dynamic between lb and chat, after watching the disaster interview (link to part 4 for my version of prime queen) for himself he realised how blind to lb’s feelings he’s been, he stops beings as forward, he’s decided that if there soulmate’s then it will happen when it happens...he still gets jealous whenever LB and Renard are joking around though, it’s still progress I guess

Part 10

Tags-

@bamagirl513 @persephonebutkore @charlietheepic7 @7-sage-7 @spicybelladonna @akana-sama

Edit- designs of Alix and Sabrina akumatised link here

[sorcnn]

( KIM HONGJOONG. CIS MALE. ) Rumor has it that ( SOREN PARK  ) has been spotted skulking around  New York City streets recently. ( HE ) is a ( 19 ) year old ( LYCAN. ) They have a good reputation for being( LOQUACIOUS + AFFECTIONATE, ) but have also been known to be rather ( FLIGHTY - CHILDISH. ) They’re known for being the ( INFLUENCER. )

do you see what i see in this gif? that is an actual literal puppy and therefore, the perfect fc for my lycan!son. also he’s a rl baby and so i had to play him as a baby. i’m actually going to try and keep this brief this time and so the sparknotes summary is that the main posted this suggested muse prompt “ a college student / influencer that got turned but still manages to live their cute lil unbothered life & really doesn’t care about any of the politics “ and i said BET. anyways here’s wonderall soren:

born from first generation korean immigrants, soren was the ray of light of his household and everything revolved around him. not in a spoiled way because his family didn’t really have a lot with which to spoil him but in the sense that he was the vessel into which both his hard working parents put all of their hopes and dreams. he was going to be the one to take advantage of all that ‘america’ has to offer (air quotes bc i hate my country)!! no pressure or anything.

from the outset, it was clear that soren was bright. he learned english alongside his parents and picked it up as quickly as his korean. he absorbed numbers, shapes, words, all with a voracity with which his overjoyed parents almost couldn’t keep up

however, alongside his natural intellect, soren also had a wealth of energy that sometimes directly worked against his learning abilities. often coming across as airy and flighty, soren always had to be doing something. going somewhere. letting out all that pent up boredom somehow! he loved climbing, running, dancing, playing. sitting down for his lessons was fine at first but he quickly tired and had to go-go-go onto something else.

when he was tested at a physical, he would be proven to have a nearly eidetic memory and a high testing iq but just... a very small attention span as a result. almost like his tiny body just didn’t have the space for all those brains and so it was escaping him in other ways.

but no matter, he found ways to make it work! certain study tactics were better for him (intensive notes, color coding w added doodles etc) but also like... skipping the studying sometimes and just taking the test blind kept him from tiring of the material 

surrounding himself with people also helped immensely. as soon as he was able to branch out and make friends, soren found an outlet for some of that restlessness. he could channel it into other people, learning everything about them and being the most attentive and loyal gd friend he could be. he’d have study groups and hangouts and just generally was able to be a lot more productive academically while also becoming reasonably popular. 

by the time he hit high school age, he was top of his class, well liked at school and he’d found a passion for science and anatomy that would eventually translate into a med school path!! 

he also started dating. boys girls, it didn’t really matter to ren. he liked people and he liked getting to know them one on one. just like he was in his friendships, he was an attentive boyfriend and that was when he fell in love with the idea of being in love. 

basically, despite not coming from much, he lived a charmed life. and to be honest? he wasn’t an asshole about his popularity nor intelligence. he was infuriatingly kind and never made a single enemy in his entire life.

he graduated a year early and with a full scholarship to a pre-med program at a prestigious ny university.  he was excited to start secondary education and felt like it’d be a challenge for once, academically and socially. he was excited to explore young adulthood and like, living on his own! parties! more friendships and relationships!

monetarily, though, moving to the big city was going to be hard. he didn’t have a job and although obviously he was getting his tuition #paid, there was still housing and the general price of living... it was gonna be a financial strain and he couldn’t just ask his parents to fork over the cash.

so he started looking for ways he could help himself. he had tried summer jobs before but his immaturity and short attention span got him fired from all of them. this was even more serious -- he’d not be able to get started on living his Dream if he didn’t get and keep employment!! 

the answer came about on accident. as a popular kid (and a cute one at that) of course he had social media. over the last two-three years of high school, his accounts blew up because he really dressed to that vintage aesthetic eboy audience. instagram was especially fun and ended up being something he was good at -- he could work out his energies finding shooting locations and coming up with fun ways to take his own pictures (or getting friends involved, taking their pictures, etc. he’s that post-millennial gen you KNOW they were annoying hipsters about it but we love him ok)

sponsorships were the start but not where it ends. soren made a pretty penny through his insta the summer leading up to his freshman year start date and it was enough to get him going but he needed more. 

freshman year was a dream come true! he loved his classes, made fast friends and got his first college boyfriend. life was great and he didn’t want to let that shatter just because his apartment payments were steep and the price of living was ridiculous in the city. there were breakups and all nighters and less than 100% tests but he was? doing his best!! so ofc he wanted to find a way to continue to sustain his independence... 

what he’s doing now isn’t really sugar babying, okay... but like you know those patreon egirls who make money sending pictures and videos to their patrons? and whose content is sorta cutesy but also a little side eye? that’s kind of where soren ended up and he’s v successful at it. he’s making decent cash every month and it goes hand in hand with his social media influencer career’s climb. win-win!

he had the equation for success! which is why being bitten by a lycan kinda wasn’t in the plans. 

it happened pretty fcking recently. i haven’t completely married myself to the idea of how he was turned -- whether it was just by accident by a stranger or some incident with a lover etc but regardless, it was definitely not what he INTENDED OK. there aren’t a lot of lycan transformation tutorials on instagram so he was panicking and disappeared from socials for the start of the summer. 

now he’s affiliated with the pack but also ... he’s still just doing his best to pretend it’s not a thing. he wants to keep with his schooling (were there doctor lycans? he wants to be a labor & delivery doctor, was that allowed? so many q’s he was just gonna ignore rip) and doesn’t care for the politics AT ALL. especially the fact that he’s meant to be suspicious of the vampires. why would he do that when he’s probably never been mean to someone in his whole life? 

summary: hyper, bright, overly loving fresh lycan pup who is in denial that his life has to change in any way. friendly & naturally flirty -- dates like it’s his second (third?) job, wants to befriend the world and make it a better place which leaves no room for lycan-vampire politics! hongjoong irl is ... teeny. so once again i’m playing a character closer to 5 feet tall than 6 and maybe i have a problem but we’re gonna ignore it! LIKE THIS to maybe plot that’s all. this was shorter than val’s... surely...

[sugagimmesugar]

Only Fools Fall for You Chapter 6

Chapter 6: No more playin’ cool tonight

Chapter 1 2 3 4 5 6 

Namjoon’s head snaps around from where he had been talking to y/n, suddenly shooting death glares at Yoongi, the other rapper completely unaware. He had made sure to tell them that only y/n knew about BTS and Emma was supposed to be left in the dark as long as possible to avoid possible fangirling or such. But before he can try to distract Emma from Yoongi’s ridiculous pick up line, she already answers.

“Haha yea of course. I don’t live under a rock music wise like a certain someone.” She laughs, shooting a mocking grin at y/n. “I honestly have some difficulty getting in to K-pop though. I prefer it when I can understand what the artists are singing. But yea, y’all are doing great, I actually wanted to come to your concert tomorrow, y’know, check out some dope performances irl…  but it sold out too quickly. But why do you ask?”

As Emma finishes her answer, everyone is a bit in shock. She knew who they were from the beginning but didn’t say anything? That’s a first.

At the deafening silence in the room, the girl almost breaks down laughing. “What? You guys think I am as weird as y/n and don’t look up artists faces? You guys have been all over the news and shit. I recognized Namjoon when I met him, and all of you, too. I am still learning names but I guess meeting you in person helped with that. I wanted to let you guys have a vacation without having to deal with being celebs, but I guess Mr. Suga here didn’t care enough about that, huh?” With the last words she turns to the man, whose frown has turned to laughter a while ago.

She lightly slaps his arm, teasing him with a smile. Around her, everyone is overcoming their surprise, Namjoon turning back to y/n, who is silently laughing, a defeated smile on his face.

He shrugs his shoulders, suddenly too engrossed in the beautiful girl in front of him to really care about the drama that has already been resolved between Yoongi and Emma.

As everyone sits quietly chatting away in pairs, just eating away, Emma suddenly pipes up, a big grin on her face. “Since it’s now official that you guys are music industry giants, how about everyone queue their favourite songs? I wanna know what the 21st Century Beatles listen to. And also your favourite songs from your own music. Recommend me good stuff and make me another one of your fans.” She winks at Yoongi with the last word, his hand on her thigh sign enough that “fan” is not what he is going for.

Beside her, Hobi looks up from his phone, a big smile replacing the somewhat annoyed look he sported before: “Yea Baby, let’s do it! How about 3 songs each. Two general songs and 1 BTS song? I have the power over the bluetooth so everyone give me their songs please. Let’s start with BTS songs, get that over with. Jin-hyung?”

One by one, the men name their favourite songs out of their own. Not so soon after, the flat is filled with the upbeat melody of “Seesaw”, Tae’s choice. He actually jumps up, dragging Jimin with him, into an impromptu, and quite wobbly try at the Seesaw choreo. Meanwhile Yoongi looks like he is trying to sink into the couch, a blush obvious on his face as he smiles both proudly and shyly at the younger men.

Watching the two young men dancing away, he suddenly hears a small voice from beside him: “That’s my favourite song, actually. Like of all the BTS songs. Thank you.” He turns around, his eyes big as Emma smiles at him, her fingers moving along to the melody absentmindedly as her other hand grabs his, squeezing his fingers. The rapper’s blush only deepens, his smile bigger than before.

From the table across the room, Namjoon and y/n just watch, their fingers intertwined as she rests her head on his shoulder.

They’re calm, happy and content with each other, somewhat in a bubble, looking out at the others enjoying the party. The youngest three now dancing with overacted enthusiasm, Jimin somehow still in almost perfect control, even though he could barely walk before. Dancing just seems to come as easily to him as breathing.

On the couch, Emma and Yoongi are not-so-subtly flirting while Hobi is texting away, sometimes dancing while still sitting, just small movements here and there, bopping along to whatever is on.

A few minutes later, Hobi jumps up, the new songs obviously having caught his attention. He grabs on to JK, pulling the youngest on to “the dancefloor”, which is just the biggest bit of empty space in the living room. The two grin at each other, nodding in unison before starting a small choreo, their bodies moving around each other perfectly. The hard beat dictating their dance, and as Jimin turns up the volume, him and Tae join the two already dancing, joining in for a few seconds before the choreo completely falls apart as they break down laughing at JK’s ridiculous facial expressions. He is overacting for comedic effect and, as usual, it works.

After that, nobody tries to do any kind of choreo again as they at best just jump around to a particularly energetic song. They’re on holiday after all. Might as well dance like drunk idiots.  

It turns out to be a quite calm get together, Jimin gladly sharing his alcohol with the others, his small giggles and cute nature only enhanced the more intoxicated he gets.

With all the alcohol he bought, they don’t manage to drink it all, but still, all nine of them end up decently smashed.

Hobi’s dates never show up, but he doesn’t seem bothered by that. As the music is turned down again and it seems like the party is almost dead, he decides to liven it up again.

“Hey, let’s play a drinking game! What’s something you girls usually play at your parties?” His sunshine smile hits y/n, her eyes shooting towards her friend, considering.

“I don’t know, we don’t really play a lot of drinking games. Would “Never have I ever” work for you guys? It’s fun and easy. You know, if you’re the only one who has to drink, aka has done the thing, you have to explain the story behind it.” She finally answers, giving Namjoon a questioning smile.

So there they are, on the floor in some house in Gothenburg, seven of the biggest stars on the planet, and two random girls. And they’re playing “Never have I ever”, occasionally roaring with laughter when one of them has to reveal an embarrassing story.

JK: “Hmmmm…. Okay… Never have I ever…. Kissed on the first date.”

Half the group just huffs at him, nodding in disbelief as if to say “Well… Obviously.”

Y/n just turns to Namjoon, takes his face in her hands and pulls him towards her, kissing him with drunk enthusiasm before quickly pulling away and drinking. “Well, now I have.”

While everyone is howling with laughter at both her initiative and Namjoon’s complete shock, a big grin parts his lips and he pulls her back to him. He kisses her, softly this time, a soft smile on his lips as he cups her cheek with his hand, ignoring the comments from his brothers.

After what feels like an eternity, they pull away from each other, just looking into each others eyes with a smile, before intertwining their fingers again, her head resting on his shoulder, again.

“You know, that’s not the point of this game, right?” JK says, only to be shut up by a laughing Emma and a somewhat drunk Jin. “Let them! It’s fine as long as it’s just this cute.”

After that, the game continues, a few embarrassing stories revealed mostly by the girls. Everything the boys have done, it seems, at least one more of the members has done.

About an hour later, the game over as nobody can come up with any more things, they decide to call it a night. They all start cleaning up, and with 9 people, it goes quickly.

Tae and Jimin quickly say goodnight, the latter ending up almost getting carried to his room by his sober friend.

Jin still fixing the last bits in the kitchen, Hobi slips away with just a wave to the girls. Jungkook follows him soon after, surprisingly still energetic, the youngest one carries snacks to his room.

After seeing y/n’s questioning eyebrows, Namjoon quickly explains: “He has so much energy, he is probably gonna play Overwatch now. I don’t know how he does it to be honest”

After saying her goodbye to Jin, and checking on Emma, who has now moved on to Yoongi’s lap, the two of them completely engrossed in one another, y/n just pulls Namjoon towards the door, towards some privacy.

They stand outside, waiting for the cab she called, just holding one to each other, both dumbfounded at how well they clicked, how well they get along, and most of all, how quickly all of this happened. 12 hours, and she has him falling head over heels for her. Not that she is any less affected than him. Her eyes must actually have hearts in them, she thinks to herself every time she looks at the man.

Another bold move is needed, she thinks. He said he was free until tomorrow at 12. So there’s still 9 hours of vacation left.

“Come over.” The words come out almost as a whisper. “What?” his question more shock than anything, he looks at her, their eyes meeting as she puts her hand on his chest.

“I said come over. You said you were free until twelve. So sleep over. I live alone, nobody’s gonna see you. I can get us breakfast tomorrow and then you can go do RM things-” She is cut off by his lips on hers. The kiss isn’t hard, it’s somehow passionate and soft, shy and yet an obvious answer.

“Are you sure?” He finally asks, tearing away from her. She just smiles and nods,leaning back into his touch, waiting for the cab to pull up.

[susventingdolphins]

My sister no longer feels like a friend (No TL;DR, but if you want to get to the last breaking incident and skip the past context / events go to the bottom)

I (23) have these two friends I'll call them L (21) and X (23), L has been like a sister to me for 3 years. I still love her as one but so much has happened that I don't love her as a friend anymore. L and X I've helped with their mental health since I met them, L for 3 years I've been her on call pseudo friend-therapist trying to help her so she could eventually get professional help for herself. Its been non stop taking care of her and having friends around us favor her and abuse me and neglect me to force me to be the perfect "caretaker" for her by "toughening me up" L knew about this but shrugged it all off. L Rarely reciprocated with listening to me, when i did try to go to her she'd be judgemental and threaten me to force me into things I didn't want to do. So eventually I rarely went to her unless it was dumb friend sh*t and nothing big in my life. And even then it was only when I wanted to end my own life did I go to her. But she always blew me off and it was my husband who had to pull me back each time.

The major issues though? It started off last year First incident with L Blew off my past abuse out of no where, using her religion to push me into forgiving the man who sexually, physically and verbally abused me, gave my whole family ptsd, gave my mother physical scars, screwed up and ruined my one brothers knee, hurt me so badly that I live with constant physical pain as a result from too much force / physical trauma to my body. But L told me I had to forgive him that abuse is a cycle and only god can judge. When I told her to stop and told her she should know better as shes been through verbal abuse and emotional manipulation from both of her parents. She insisted I was being ridiculous by still hating him and having ptsd from him. Got angry and offended and told me again only god can judge and that im not allowed to or I'll go to hell. Second Incident with L She compared me to her abusive mother out of the blue when I was trying to help prevent L from ending her own life scared for her, all because she had insecurities and anxiety and outright admitted to me she let her imagination run wild and painted a completely different version of me in her own head, yet she still judged me for the actions of that imagined version things I never even did or said and she held them against me. Third incident with L She knows I have a fear of men bc of my PTSD, Men are terrifying even online for me, the older they are the worse it is. It causes me major panic attacks so I prefer to outnumber men with females and nonbinary friends when Im with new men so I don't feel overwhelmed. I like to take things slow with men. L however thought it was a good idea to throw me in a group chat with 5 men and just the two of us and to make it worse pressured and forced us into a voice call, acting depressed and hurt if I didn't join. She told me she was trying exposure therapy to help me get over it. I never asked her to do such a thing and I had a major panic attack. I got angry at her for this and she got defensive and angry and when I didn't let it go she then wanted to take her own life again. When I apologised to her for being mad and forced myself to let it go suddenly she was all rainbows and sunshine again. Fourth Incident with L I had a dangerous ex friend, who I couldn't leave bc they were threatening me and had found out my IP address. L knew this I spoke to her about this. I legally could do nothing bc it was JUST online they hadn't made a move yet so I couldn't get legal help. L forced me to leave that ex friend threatening to leave me as a friend if I didn't and assured me I'd be fine if I broke it off, told me I don't really trust her or love her if I didn't. Even though I told L of the risks and the fact I couldn't legally protect myself because even if the ex did do something cyber crimes are often brushed off in my town and laughed off unless she DOES leak the IP or my address (and often times thats still ignored until someone physically tries to harm me or stalk me). It doesn't stop her from leaking everything else about me. The ex friend then leaked all my emails, my social medias, my face, to people online, including to hate groups of asexuals, knowing I was ace, one of the biggest things I wanted to avoid. the IP didn't get leaked but the ex friend did threaten to leak it if I went against her again, I then had a lot of threats flooding my email address after. Now as for long standing issues over the past 3 years 1. She would always bring up how much she hated her skinny body when I felt insecure of being fat 2. She would always get mad at me for wanting to lose weight because she felt I was hating on myself by wanting to lose even one pound, told me god made me this way and I was being disrespectful if I change it, even when it was for medical reasons. 3. She insinuated a lot that I wasn't good enough for my husband that because I have depression he deserved better 4. She threatened me all the time to tell my brother who has depression, that I was suicidal and pile all of my own problems on him knowing it'd

hurt him if I ever ended my friendship with her, she'd do this whenever I got mad at her for anything. 5. She never accepted that she hurt me a lot, instead she'd either suddenly want to die every single time until I let it go or she'd try to gaslight me into making it all my fault she hurt me. I never could communicate with her. 6. she constantly criticised me for not having as easy of a time learning as other people and for being unable to grasp anything in math (except the basics) and science. She also constantly corrected and mocked and made fun of me for my punctuation and grammar and discouraged me from following my dreams to become an author. 7. Constantly got jealous about all my new friends and trash talked them 8. Flirted with my IRL big brother trying to lead him on and use him to cheat, when she was in relationships with other men and knew my brother was off limits. 9. Trash talked my mother no matter how many times I got angry at her for it. 10. Forced me to voice chat and do so often without breaks, even when I didn't want to though she knew I had major anxiety involving using my actual voice to speak (its linked to my social anxiety, its weird and I don't get it myself. But speaking physically genuinely mentally pains me to do) 11. Sent me monetary gifts even when I told her not to, and always joked about me owing her, and went on about how much money they cost her and how much of her money she had left. 12. All the gifts she did send me was things she liked that she knew I disliked and she got angry if I didn't fall in love with these things. 13. Would disrespect my s*x repulsion (part of my own asexuality. Its my side of the spectrum) and force me into uncomfortable topics talking all about her having s*x with her boyfriends. For those wondering why X is also a problem: through all these each time I asked him what to do when talking to L didn't work, X excused her behaviour and blamed and pinned everything on me for "not trying hard enough to be a good friend, not being understanding enough, not being patient enough. You know how L is, its just her nature! You should be putting more legwork in to make up for it, you know she loves you. would she put up with you if she didn't? She only wants what is best for you, give her a break. Shes doing this all for you. You have to take care of her! you owe her, she deserves it." ‼️LAST INCIDENT FOR THOSE WHO DON'T WANT TO READ ALL OF THIS‼️ then the most recent incident with her some context first: I take mental health breaks, I am bluntly honest about what im going through if asked if I trust someone. If you're not part of the problem I always let you know why im leaving even if I don't go into detail. This is something I've said and made clear numerous times over the years and even warn people about the day we become friends so they have time to back out if they can't handle a friendship that isn't constant messaging. L and X for the past 6 months have ghosted me and been cold towards me, responding maybe 1 / 20 times and always short and curt unless they needed help for something. The whole time I waited for them, I helped them even when I was having bad day after bad day, my own mental health was dipping which i informed them of incase I seemed cold after awhile and couldn't keep up being bubbly. But I kept trying to make their day sending cute little supportive messages constantly and checking up on them bi-daily when I knew it was particularly a hard week for them. I waited and waited thinking "They will talk to me when they need me or when they feel ready. It'll be okay, Whatever it is we can tackle it together" and this is also something I expressed to them, that I noticed something is wrong but I'm here if they need me whenever they are ready. That the option is always open and I loved them. Then they got colder and colder, they started making snide jabs at me all the time which I brushed off as them having a bad day every single time. They made jabs about every part of my personality being annoying, my appearance being annoying and treated my

looks with disgust, they hated every single thing I got into and liked and got angry if I didn't like every single thing they did, they found any reason to criticise me those 6 months every single day. And on my 3 year friendship anniversary with them they treated me even colder and picked a bunch of small fights with me throughout the whole day from what games i was playing, to my choice of clothes, to what I ate to how much and how little I spoke, everything was wrong wrong wrong. Then fast forward to 2 weeks ago. 2 weeks ago L started a huge fight with me L told me my depressive break downs were pity parties minimized and scoffed and laughed at them. She told me My husband only puts up with me and I don't deserve him and im abusive and toxic for having depression that because I don't get better it hurts everyone else that I can't be happy all the time and im toxic because I "choose to have depression" She told me Im abusive for taking mental health breaks that by taking them and walking away from all social media for a few days at a time, im "practically telling us we're not good enough and we're unloveable." and that I am toxic for taking breaks. Her words. Im toxic for being friends with people I've fought with in the past and "stupid, naive, retarded, foolish, cowardly" that I love the pain and bathe in it and thats why I never get better. That im a "sh*tty friend for being depressed" told me to just willpower away my depression and anxiety. She told me I deserved to be depressed and have anxiety, told me I brought it on myself, told me my past didn't matter that my PTSD is my own fault, told me I never had to be perfect (I did in the past as a kid have to be to avoid being given to an abusive criminal bc he had this town wrapped around his finger into believing he was innocent as can be, this is something that lasted with me from I assume PTSD, I strive to be perfect to fix all my flaws I possibly am able to, and hide most of my negative emotions. This has never ever effected how I treated others, only how I treat myself. It also is something I've tried for years to snap out of but never been able to manage to.) and that im no ones saviour (never said, acted or claimed I was) and to stop helping other people, told me im nothing and no one and no one cares about me. Told me I don't matter and no one would care if I did die that im insignificant. She told me she was hurt I don't talk to them how I feel about them and keep it to myself instead when she knows they are hurting me. She then compared herself to my ex friend who abused me for 6 years straight and numerous times had tried to drive me to suicide. She then told me It was my fault she has insecurities. When I told X all that happened X blamed me for it telling me I deserved it and everyone else was too cowardly and everyone was thinking it and wanted to do it to me. He then told me he loved me and wanted me to talk to him how I felt about him, so I was honest decided "Okay I must be in the wrong if they both are upset" I apologised to them both for everything they accused me of because I genuinely felt bad. L and I kept talking because I was trying to fix things, L told me that I X and Her "Know we aren't your only friends but it'd be nice if we were, I'd like that it'd make me so much happier" She told me that she feels like she has to change to a warmer person and im a bad person for her feeling that way because she feels like she has to match up to my energy because I get depressed when they ignore and ghost me for weeks on end that its just "how we are, its our nature. We're cold people" Then turned around in the fight to tell me I have to change and become colder, that they hate who I am as a person, they hate that im affectionate and get attached to people. L told me X and her have been talking behind my back, sent me logs of it of the two of them insulting and mocking me and told me they did it out of love and frustration and in those logs X had told L many of my secrets I trusted X with, he didn't keep a single one. I went back to

X deciding to be honest since they want honesty, and told him about what L showed me and that I didn't trust the two of them anymore after this and the things said were harsh and hurted a lot and a lot of it did feel inaccurate while some things were on the nose, and he told me he didn't want to be my brother anymore, told me I was a bad friend and I again deserved what panda did, then he ghosted me. After this all happened, I snapped and something clicked and changed inside and I felt cold towards them. Affectionate to those who actually showed me love, and happier again because I trusted L the most and she broke my heart. It felt like I hit an epiphany. I became a new person, I changed my name online, I cut off toxic friends, I patched things up with old friends, I communicated more about my feelings so there'd be no misunderstandings anymore with good friends because of my own anxiety and insecurities with them. I was happier I had really good friends by my side who love me. I was a new me, I found myself again and it felt like there was light again in a tunnel that has been long and dark since I was 12. Fast forward to 3 days ago and she messaged me again after us not talking since that incident. She apologised and I felt relieved, but thats not the end. Her apology took a very unexpected turn. She told me she was only sorry she never said anything earlier, but she did not regret a single thing she said or did to me over the years since we met and especially not what she said and did that day. She told me again I was a horrible human being for being depressed and toxic for hating my own appearance and trying to lose weight. She then said "I know better, I knew better and let my own insecurities get to me. But its YOUR fault. You never told me otherwise. I didn't go to you either but you never told me what I needed to hear, you're supposed to be good at reading people, its your fault not mine" Told me that she is hurt by me for me taking mental health breaks, said I was doing it to be malicious to her and X, that there was no way I wasn't, even though she "knows better her insecurities say its that way so it has to be and its my fault for making her feel insecure." She then told me she wants to stop being friends but also wants to hold onto me. Told me I'd have to do a lot of work, when I spoke to her about all she ever did that hurt me, how I felt she turned around and made it all about herself. She then told me it'd be me that would have to change who I am as a person. "Become colder, Stop caring about others, Be warmer to us, don't leave us behind, stop taking mental health breaks" Then she told me "Its my fault you changed, I did well but I don't like how you changed. I pushed you onto that new path leaving myself stuck behind. I dislike this new you, I didn't expect for that to change your whole life and who you were. I don't like it, maybe we can change it back and be friends again" She then told me "the misunderstanding caused me to distrust you, you'll have to repair that if you want us to be friends still. I'll TRY but you have to fix everything or this wont work out" If we do stay friends shes going to be a casual video games only kind of friend only bc I still do love her. But honestly if we stop being friends Im fine with that too. Either way shes lost all right to be a big part of my life again and shes lost trust she'll never get back from me.

[akillerconundrum]

Why we Write

TL;DR version: It’s fun.

Long version:

I remember one of the very first computer games I played as a kid was text based adventure games on DOS. It was basically like a point-and-click adventure mixed with a choose-your-own adventure book. I was awful at it, never could get very far, but I loved the idea of it and aspired to program my own one day. I made similar “choose your own adventure” type games in powerpoint for my friends to play in elementary school, in a time before the internet, they weren’t very good, nor complex, but it was still fun. Suddenly, in comes the internet, and I discovered *role playing*. 

Here was a way to continue playing pretend as one entered junior high without seeming ‘lame’, to write fanfiction together with friends, and spend a lot of time describing the sexiness of Gimli’s beard and cackle among my IRL friends. It was a wild time of shenanigans, and sometimes trolling Furcadia. 

As the years went on, this hobby of mine continued to be a staple in my life. I couldn’t afford video games. I disliked my home life and the cards it had dealt me, but when I logged on with that screaming modem and took over the phone lines for a few hours, I had an escape where I could be anyone I wanted to be. It was a powerful tool in my ability to cope with life, even if I was just taking a serious character and having them make a fart joke. The ability to entertain myself, my friends, and weave a story together was so powerful to me. 

School days ended, and Adult Life set in, and I realized what made me love this most of all, my favorite aspect of RPing together was that we were making the loosest, most open-world point-and-click-choose-your-own-adventure-text-game ever. Anything was possible. Wanted to rewrite canon? Rock it! Wanted to explore canon deeper? Dive in! Love those characters but want to see them in space instead of medieval society? Shoot me to the moon! 

I was discussing “Role Playing” in the sense we do it here in pros form to a writer friend of mine, and how I very much viewed it as “doodling for writers”. Little short sprints of pros and punchlines, experimentation with ideas, with nothing to lose, and nothing to gain but discovery and the immediate gratification of a built-in audience: your partner. 

As someone who does have a lot of original works they feel they SHOULD be working on, I personally found it easier to work with canon, and explore canon in ways that interested me. (If I was going to write Original Characters, I felt I should be working on my novel/comic/whatever.)  My favorite fanfictions I’ve written were mostly absurd plot lines that I would work hard to completely justify happening as in character as possible, with the outcome I wanted. See: “Rorschach adopts a cat and it helps him solve a mystery” “Rorschach’s Ice Cream Adventure”, “Rattmann goes on a Picnic”, and other gems I’m still proud of to this day. Silly concepts I either took from prompts or vodka that I made my goal to make someone emotionally compromised over. These exercises, I feel, helped me grow as a writer. I “doodle write” now more than I “Doodle” to draw. Will it ever take me anywhere? Who knows, probably not, but it’s something that fills my soul to do. 

I love writing conflicts. I love writing villains. I love setting the heroes up with a goal to destroy or tame or befriend or however they choose to come at the challenge I set forth. Hell, that’s some good stuff. I’ve had anger and anxiety issues and problems with bottling my emotions for nearly all of my life, and RPing has always been a wonderful outlet for me to have a safe place to just be awful where it didn’t hurt anyone except the fictional heroes of a story. It’s difficult to fully explain how much this has helped me become a better, gooder, more patient and more open and loving person IRL. 

Over the decades of this, and yes, I am old and have been RPing for decades, I’ve seen the entire thing evolve a ton. People value this or that, complain about this or that, argue over ships and characterizations and content, but really, it’s all been the same repeated patterns. 

We’re all here for the same reason. We love to do what we do. We love to create. We love to explore. We love to say ‘what if...?’ It’s not a competition. It’s a group exercise in exploration. When we write a canon character, what you put forth is a purely distilled version of your taste, what you like about that character. What you find most important to capture that character in your eyes. Your voice, your choices, your personal touches and flavors and nuances is what makes that character yours, and suddenly you feel you are a part of something greater- not just owning a small part of the original property you took inspiration from, but the entire community all doing the same thing we’re doing, and that’s amazing and marvelous.  

We’re moving into a brand new year, now, another year of playing this game together. Be kind. Be understanding. Be impartial. Be hopeful. Be creative. Together we can all knit together something crazy, silly, ridiculous, heartfelt, loving, terrifying, upsetting, romantic, sickening, groan-worthy, something beautiful. In this world we create together, it doesn’t matter how complex or simple you write, the most important thing is we’re all here to have fun and play this massive multiplayer point-and-click adventure together.

Here’s to many more. 

[wildgrave]

what do u love about ur friends

idk which one of ya sneaky bastards sent this but i’m not gonna complain b/c i will take any possible opportunity to gush about my friends.

update: this got entirely out of hand and i just wrote about like... everyone i talk to. if u talk just ctrl + f ur name (but don’t feel bad if you’re not in here b/c i’m doing this off the top of my head and can’t remember everyone!! also a lot of these are hs friends who don’t have tumblrs but u asked anon so)

i honestly love them all for different reasons tho!! i’m not going to tag everyone but: thanh is great for a straightforward answer & we have the same awful sense of humor which is basically 8 years of memes to reference (also she says no romo a lot which i find rly funny for some reason??). hannah is super loving and supportive and always looking out for me. jessie is wry and clever and honestly has every reason to get annoyed at me 24/7 but somehow doesn’t. whitten i talk to every day and is super rational about my problems which is helpful when i need solutions (also dank memes). gaby is great b/c we both have a lot of the same interests (feminism, art, fashion, shit-talking ppl, etc) and gets riled up about my problems which is great when i need someone to get angry with. colette also gets angry, usually angrier than me, about my problems and is the best person to offer to beat boys up (b/c i know if she gets drunk enough she will fight anyone). kathleen is great b/c we always end up doing something ridiculous and it’s fun and makes a good story. brooke is the fucking funniest person i have ever met and thinks she’s punk rock but is secretly boujee as fuck. amber also thinks she’s punk rock, but has the softest, purest heart of gold of anyone i’ve ever met (also she comes up with the most ridiculously hilarious ways to proposition me). claire and i can talk about absolutely anything and send each other close ups of pimples but also take nudes of eachother and honestly if thats not true friendship then what is?? sofie is honestly brilliant and always has clever comments to make and i’m lowkey in love with her to this day and i mean, if you’re not a little in love with your friends wyd?? mila is so sweet and i can have fun with her doing anything, like we don’t even need to go anywhere we can just have philosophical talks on my bed and it’s chill. sammy and i have only chilled irl once but she’s really quiet and nice but occasionally makes rly snarky comments about straight ppl which are hilarious. lucy is never on skype but when she is we have a fuckin field day and she’s so petty but like... in a funny way? i’ve only hung out with andie once (which i’m trying to change before she goes back to vegas) but she’s so into musical theatre and i love reading her tweets about it b/c i love how passionate she is! dylan makes awful decisions on the daily like... blowjob competition? rly dyn? and it’s so funny to hear about and he gives ridiculous but funny advice and is super australian and always says “bruv” which is super funny to me. jenna i’m p sure is going to be running the world in two years (also holy shit she’s graduating college?? my bb girl is growing up :’)). adja is so funny b/c i thought she was super by the rules in hs but now she’s a wild child. aidan (as in the senior in hs, not the one my age) sends me #relatable memes and even tho we don’t talk often it gets deep as shit when we do (but i lowkey don’t trust him b/c of his opinions of iron fist smh). allie is in my race & ethnicity class and is just nice all around and we DM eachother on twitter sometimes like ‘what was that awful presentation in class’). nick from polisci is so knowledgeable about politics but makes the issues funny w/o being offensive and shannon (also from polisci) dresses rly cute and we have fun conversations & the three of us have a funny group chat for our presentation. quinn is such a wannabe edgelord but is honestly so pure and a good friend. asmaa is the sweetest possible person and we always tease quinn together. ricky continously gives me a hard time about everything but in a funny way and patiently explains WoW lore to me. JT is also fun to play WoW with and makes me feel like a baby b/c he’s and old man. rebecca’s steadfast belief in drarry makes me smile and i love her writing. harri is one of my many wives and her snapchats are amazing (as are her boobs). kinzie i rarely talk to but i can still hit up sometimes like whats up bitch today i had sex while listening to wtnv. cassie, becca, and eleanor are all rly cool and super pretty and nice to chill with and i love their art and photography and general personalities. georgie gave me the sweetest poem and letter last summer when i was feeling down and we have similar aspirations and i’d love to work with her in my career sometime! marko and henry are married istg but anyway marko is such a genuine, honest person and henry is an amazing writer and i loved english with him and it’d make me happy if we were closer. lena is my protege and i am an awful mentor b/c i never see her since i graduated but she is my child. layla is the baddest bitch i have ever met, her nails are always amazing and we can be catty together and blast nicki minaj. sarah is so funny b/c everyone thinks she’s reserved and studious and stuff (and she kinda is) but once you get to know her she is the sassiest person you will ever meet. my sister and i fight sometimes over me stealing her clothes constantly but we bond over how our parents drive us up the wall and also she cooks a lot which means i can steal food. the entire volstovic cycle fandom (dani, scarlett, anna, crystal, etc) are all amazing creators of things and honestly an inspiration. rimsha is the hardest working person i have ever met and i love hearing about her succeed. brady is my fellow gay (tho tbh 90% of the ppl on this list are gay b/c we flock together) and i love him for his snarkiness. all the boys i sat at lunch with in high school (garrison, rex, arun, etc) are such memes but i didn’t realize how cool they were until we graduated and now i’m like, damn i should’ve paid them more attention even tho i saw them every day. my boyfriend is my friend and he’s the most politically active person i have ever met, and he’s such a dweeb, and he makes me smile whenever we’re together (even when i’m trying to be angry at him). feihong acts like a fuckboy but is pretty dang cool if i’m being honest; he’s rly dedicated to what he does. carly and i don’t talk but i appreciate her paintings and selfies and funny tweets from afar. morgan and i were at a fidlar concert once together and we both couldn’t survive the mosh pit (also her instagram captions are fuckin hilarious am i right or am i right?). kelly is a goddamn klepto but we always have fun together drinking coffee and talking about pens and i love and support her art and she does the same for mine. charlotte is chill and i miss just hanging out in her basement b/c she’s such a gemini but in a good way. the ppl i sit with on campus (sumaiya, alex, zuri, etc) are always having interesting convos and share food and it’s a good time. my cousin and her husband (nat and ron) are the most punk ppl in their 30s and they introduced me to the punk scene and i miss them b/c they moved back to kansas. shakey’s photography on insta makes me feel pensive and i want to go to philly just to meet her. miki i’m not super tight with but her writing is a+ and makes me cry and i love rping with her. rina is such a cool mutual and her art is dope. lea is also a cool chic and i love her hair and want her to bake my wedding cake. mousse is so nice to everyone. ellie and i only talk like twice a year at family parties but we can always dive back in and pick up where we left off. the ppl i party w (other aidan, jakob, justin, etc) are dumbasses (i use that term endearingly) but i’m 98% sure they’ve all carried me to the toilet when i’ve been puking my guts out at a party. marley was that friend that ended up going to yale and no one was surprised so i admire her success but also she was always kind to me and always asked how i was doing with my mental illnesses. renee and maria and i bonded over ib art and sga and generally being over-worked by our sponsor. alanna was another one of my proteges who i need to keep up with better b/c she’s badass and funny and has the best eyebrows ever. i don’t talk to sidney anymore but we went thru so much together and supported eachother a lot a few years ago and i still love em for that. eddie is such a dweeb, everytime i see him (which is a surprising amount considering he lives in miami) we act like nothing has changed and go at eachothers throats. rachel m & galen have both grown so so much since i met them and i’m proud of them. rachel s is so fun to talk about hoe things with and laugh at eachother. marco has the best finsta of anyone ever. danny and i talk over snapchat every so often (like every month or so) and we have the weirdest convos like?? let’s name your imaginary lizard. zamzam (from my creative writing class last semester) was super fun to hang out with when she came over and actually everyone in that class (xander, leah, olivia, will, etc) were excellent writers and hilarious and we all bonded. victor is such a bro honestly he’s funny and is very attentive (actually listens) and is fun sober or not. sandra i’ve known since i was a baby and never really talked to until recently but she’s so nice to talk to about small things. alyssa i stalk obsessively on goodreads b/c who else can read that much, istg girl you’re a cyborg (but like a pretty one). rp buds that i haven’t mentioned so far (mario, mackenzie, etc) i value a lot for their companionship and writing. there are tons of ppl from hs that i wish i had gotten to know better when i was there (julia, drea, tina, both erins, bridget, etc). 

and yeah there are more ppl but those are mostly ppl i talk to at parties or dm occasionally or wish i was friends with but admire from afar. anyway. this got long. I JUST LOVE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!

[nezzfiction]

ENMY Chapter 63 - Falling Stars

Chapter Synopsis: With the alliance between Vale and Mistral finalized, their sights set towards the retreating armies of Atlas. The lives of the Atlesian soldiers forsaken by all except the newly titled Winter Maiden. Meanwhile, Cinder's scheme to take over the Kingdom comes ever closer to being a reality.

Series Synopsis: Team RWBY is disbanded, and Yang must find herself new allies. For her, that might very well be yesterday’s enemies. Joining up with the likes of Emerald, Mercury, and Neo, the four will comprise Team Enemy(ENMY).

Links to read the series: Ao3 or FF.net

Or hit the jump below

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Falling Stars

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Change does not come easily nor cheaply.

And there is never growth without pain.

No trials without its fires.

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It was early in the afternoon, when Ruby, Coco, and Penny were hanging around Weiss’s office at S.D.C. headquarters. Each were currently immersed in their respective scrolls, tapping away at it vigorously.

While Coco opted to recline in Weiss’s premium leather chair, Penny and Ruby laid on the floor with their feet kicking in the air.

“Coco, when are you going to be done? The raid event’s about to start soon~” Ruby complained.

“In a minute. I just know the next mob’s gonna drop it.”

“It’s a super rare! You’ve been at it for hours!”

“I’ll get it in time for the raid!”

“The boss isn’t even weak to guns!”

“I can’t hear you!”

[The probability of the weapon dropping, accounting for the number of monsters you destroyed so far, is holding at 3%.] Penny cheerfully stated.

“COCO!”

“In a minute!”

With her tongue sticking out, Coco continued to farm desperately for her item. Leaving the only thing for the rest of her group to do was wait.

After Ruby let out another groan, she turned to Penny.

“Hey, is it really okay for you to be here like this?”

[Whatever do you mean, Ruby?]

“I mean—I’m always happy to see you, Penny—but aren’t we kinda, technically, sorta, enemies?”

[How funny. That’s almost exactly what Emerald said to me.]

“Uh…huh…”

[I don’t think you’re my enemy, Ruby. I was very happy to learn you were here. I think I’ll always consider you my friend!]

“Me too.”

[Although Doctor Masa might program me to fight you in the future, any such feature hasn’t been installed yet.]

“…Great?”

[It is great.] Penny nodded with an oblivious smile.

“Well, I guess that’s good enough for me.”

While the two were getting ready for the upcoming game event, Coco immediately jumped out of her seat and started pumping her fists.

“Boom! Got it! I freakin’ got it!”

“Great. Are we ready to raid now?” Ruby asked.

“Yeah. No thanks to you two. The only one who helped me farm it was AngelofDeath666.”

“’Kay. Inviting you two to the group.”

“Who is this guy or gal, anyway? If it’s someone we know, I wanna take them on a coffee run.”

“Don’t ask me,” Ruby shrugged. “I think Penny was the one who sent them an invite.”

“…”

“…”

“Is it someone I know?” Coco asked Penny.

[No…no.] *Hic* [No.] *Hic*

“I’m messaging him right now.”

“Don’t do it!” Ruby shouted. “You can’t ask someone for their name IRL, unless they give it! It’s the cardinal rule of online gaming #1!”

“You’re right,” she sighed. “You’re right. It’s probably better I don’t know for sure…Okay, let’s meet up with everyone else. Wait, didn’t Penny invite three other people to our guild too?”

“…Yeah…” Ruby said slowly. “DrunkMaster1, BakedAlaska85, and OnePunch99…”

“…You sure you don’t wanna ask?”

“Nope!”

“Cause I think we know who they are.”

“Nope!”

As the atmosphere in the office grew more awkward, the crashing sound of the door opening interrupted them.

“Our people are in need of proper escorts home!” Weiss exclaimed, as she burst in.

“And as I have repeatedly reminded you, it would be unwise to reveal you so early,” Hades counseled after her. “The best way to utilize your newfound abilities, is to deploy you at the critical stage of an upcoming battle. And must I also mention the predicament you would place our Kingdom’s defenses?”

“So, we leave our retreating fleet alone to cross waters teeming with Grimm, and the forces of Vale and Mistral hounding after them?”

“We do not do what we wish, but what we must, my liege.”

The girl gave the mechanical knight a cold, hard glare. Seeing that her counsel was not willing to budge, even under the intense Aura that was freezing the room below zero—Weiss could only accept the man’s advice.

“Very well.”

“It pains me to risk our comrades’ lives as well, but I do not do so lightly.”

“Mhmm. That will be all, Hades.”

As the dark armored soldier turned to leave, he caught sight of Penny and paused.

“That. Will. Be. All. Hades,” Weiss crossed her arms testily. “I seem to remember you pledging your absolute fealty to me, after your attempt on my life.”

“…Yes, that is correct.”

“Then, by my absolute order, that will be all.”

“…Yes, my liege.”

Hades bowed before exiting the door that was almost too small for him.

Once he was gone, Weiss wheeled on the three idling in her office.

“Couldn’t you at least try to be more inconspicuous?”

Ruby threw her cape over Penny.

“There~ She’s gone.”

“This is no time to joke, Ruby. I am not in the mood,” Weiss stomped over to her desk. She stared daggers at Coco, which cued the girl to vacate her seat.

Upon sitting down, Weiss knitted her fingers and pressed them against her head.

“You know what I don’t get,” Coco started. “How you can not only forgive your murderer, but also hire him to be your Second.”

“Attempted murderer, if we’re being specific. And I haven’t forgiven anything. Hades will pay for his crimes, but I judged it better he repay his misdeeds by working for the Kingdom than sitting idly by in some prison cell.”

“Or under some six feet of dirt.”

“Yes. More good he can do now than that.”

“So, what’s the sitch that’s got you all heated?”

Weiss groaned and let her forehead plant on the desk.

“As you all know, Mistral and Vale formally announced their alliance a few days ago. In response to that, the Board and our military have finally decided to issue a halt to the Vale campaign and an order of retreat to all overseas forces.”

“They’re only doing that now?!”

“My thoughts exactly… In delaying the order, they gave Mistral and Vale’s forces the time to organize and bridge their differences. At least enough to march in the same direction without immediately turning on each other. The Board has gravely underestimated our opponents by thinking they couldn’t manage such a thing in time.”

“From what I’ve heard, Mistral’s Fleet Admiral Saru isn’t some dope.”

“Neither is Straw,” Ruby added. “They’ll attack while the army’s vulnerable. Atlas isn’t sending any escorts?”

“The Board doesn’t think they will be attacked!” Weiss shook her head. “Myself and Hades know they will, but without the say-so from the Kingdom’s ruling body, we cannot mobilize.”

“And that’s why you want to go ourselves.”

“Yes. In my fair assessment, I believe that with my abilities and the efforts of Team RNJR and CFVY, we would be able to escort our forces safely home. Unfortunately, my leaving would leave Atlas vulnerable.”

“Yeah, the Aegis System needs the Winter Maiden in the city.”

[Oh, yes. It’s a little late, but congratulations on becoming the Winter Maiden, Weiss!]

At that, all three whipped their necks at Penny. The android girl tilted her head for a second before deciphering their looks.

[Oh, do not be alarmed. Weiss becoming the Winter Maiden was one of the main scenarios our side planned for. Plus, I already hacked and downloaded every file in Cerberus Tower. Anything said just now, is not new information.]

“Oh,” Weiss could only utter. A mixture of relief, but mostly disconcertion. “How far has your group planned?”

[Classified Information.]

“Do you plan on informing your group of what we just discussed?”

[Classified Information.]

“Why do I have the feeling you’re recording this entire conversation?”

Penny hiccupped.

“So?” Coco posed to Weiss. “We’re going, right?”

“Hmph,” she scoffed.

“What do you think?”

.

X  X X  X  X

.

“What’s are you thinking right now?”

“I’m thinking, how boring and easy it was take over the Board of Directors. I mean, aren’t these guys in charge of the whole Kingdom?”

“Yes,” Cinder agreed in bemusement. “They are an incompetent bunch, aren’t they?”

Leaning against the windows on the highest floor of Atlas’s tallest skyscraper, was Cinder and Emerald.

Currently, they were in the middle of a conference meeting between Board members. Their figures cloaked by Emerald’s Semblance to those besides their allies, who inadvertently cast them a glance once in a while.

For the past few days, the pair worked tirelessly to gain control of various companies. Many times, under their CEO’s very own noses. Their methods ranged from stock manipulation and swindling themselves controlling interest, to outright blackmail and threats of violence.

“Rather poetic that the very rules they exploited to gain their ridiculous fortunes is now being used to take them away.”

“Kinda makes me queasy,” Emerald revealed her obvious disgust. “I can still remember digging into trashcans for leftover french fries, and these idiots have more money than everyone else in Remnant combined.”

Cinder held her hand.

“What would you like me to do with their money?” she asked.

“What? I thought the plan was to disperse it to the poor and earn credibility.”

“It is. And besides transferring funds to more worthwhile ventures, I’m sure there will still be plenty left over to spare.”

“I don’t…I don’t have a clue.”

“Just ask. Anything. Would you like to toss their lien out the window? Do you want to seize their lands and home? We could even set it all on fire before their eyes, if that’s what you prefer.”

“That’s so cruel.”

Cinder’s sinister smile sent goosebumps through Emerald’s body, and if she was being honest—turned her on a good bit.

“Let me think about it a little. I think they’re getting to the real topic now.”

“As you wish.”

The two looked on, as the long table of fifteen members of Atlas’s richest finished their discussions concerning the war and the difficulty they were facing with Faunus labor.

After a vote, Jacques Schnee moved on to the next order of business.

“Alright, I believe Venetus has a proposal on what actions to take concerning the new money coming up these days,” he squinted with scrutiny.

“Yes,” the casino owner stood and straightened his tie. “My ladies and gentlemen, all of us have been here since the days of Mantle—and we will still be here if the days of Atlas ever come to an end. Kingdoms rise and fall, but may our fortunes never change.  The war will never affect us, but this new company… it presents a real dilemma. They are the forefront of all the up and coming businesses.”

He paused to let the thought sink in.

“At the rate they are growing, it would surprise me none if they created a Board of their own. One to replace this very table—these very people who kept this Kingdom prosperous! I, for one, refuse to allow this. Therefore, I move that immediate action be taken to halt their momentum.”

“Yes, the solution has been suggested before,” Jacques waved his hand unimpressed, unlike his other fellow Board Members. “Unfortunately, they have a rather unique stock exchange policy. They are also refusing to be bought, which is what I would do if I were the head of a company growing revenue worth at their pace.”

“What I am suggesting is not that we buy them out—it is that we buy them in.”

“…..Go on.”

“Make them members of the Board. Where we can watch them, where we can control them. This collection of brilliant business minds aren’t generals or warriors. We do not wage battles with other companies. We make them ours. We turn them into assets.”

“Hm. I see. An intriguing suggestion. I must admit, as well as many of our members, that we may have been too quick to act on emotion. It would certainly be a waste to pay for their company when we can simply ask them for it.”

This drew a ring of haughty laughter around the table.

“Yes…Yes, I see the merit in this. Does anyone have anything to say on the matter?”

“…”

“Well, then. Those in favor of inducting the Halftone Rime Corporation onto our Board—and under our employment—raise your hand.”

Eleven of the members’ hands raised, more than enough for the majority vote.

“The motion passes. At the earliest interval, we will extend an invitation to their company.”

“There will be no need for that. Although I appreciate the thought.”

Emerald released the hallucination, and the two faded into existence.

“As the president of the Halftone Rime Corporation, I gratefully accept your offer,” Cinder grinned mischievously. “And as a member of the Board of Directors, I propose a motion to elect myself as head of this committee.”

Still not finished reeling from his shock, Jacques began a tirade.

“THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! YOU CAN’T DO THIS!”

“Those in favor of the motion,” Cinder continued without a care. “Please raise your hand.”

At the ending of her sentence, Venetus, among seven other members raised their hands.

“Ho—What?” Jacques sputtered. “WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!”

“The motion passes,” Cinder finished. “The Halftone Rime Corporation assumes leadership of this Board. It will be a pleasure to be working with you all.”

“THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!” the man bellowed, completely red in the face. “This is nothing but a circus show! You cannot expect this to hold an ounce of legitimacy!! I will not stand for this!”

“Then, you may take your leave. Or shall I offer you the disgrace of being voted out by the Board?”

“You bit—!”

While in midsentence, Jacques Schnee felt a sudden bout of vertigo. His vision swirled, as he found himself in a vault full of riches. The man’s joy was palpable. A life of being the richest individual to have ever lived flashed before his eyes.

And then…

Nothing.

He died of old age. His fortune, nowhere to be seen. He was left with nothing. He left nothing behind. Nothing real.

Worthless.

It was all for nothing.

When that thought drowned him, causing him immense heartache—

He woke up with a jolt.

“I hope you enjoyed your sweet dream. That is what you wanted after all,” Emerald smiled devilishly over him. Her green-edged weapon spun playfully in her hand.

Upon further consciousness, Jacques felt a slight cut on his hand. A faint Aura remained there from what he guessed was the girl’s Semblance.

“What did you do to me?!”

“Hey, no need to get mad. I just gave you the experience of having your deepest desire fulfilled. You should be thanking me!”

“I died… I died with nothing. The fortune I built up was worthless.”

“You’re welcome, sweetie,” Emerald gave him a quick peck on the nose. “Now, get out. Your tears are ruining the carpet.”

“Ah?”

Only now, Jacques realized he had been crying the whole time. Without another second spared, the grown man ran out of the conference room.

“Well, that was anticlimactic,” Emerald shrugged. “That’s really all it took to own Atlas?”

When she turned back, the rest of the Board Members looked to her in shock. Even Cinder appeared surprised.

“…What?”

“Oh, nothing,” Cinder approached and brushed Emerald’s cheek. She leaned her lips close to her ear, and spoke in a soft, smoky whisper. “Watching that was quite arousing.”

“Um..!”

“Now, then.” Cinder turned to address the Board once more. “The rest of the remaining Board Members may choose to leave, if that is your wish. As Venetus so accurately pointed out before, you are not generals and certainly not warriors……but I am.” Fire and brimstone conjured in the palm of her hand. “The moment you leave this table, is the moment you forfeit your safety. Do I make myself clear?”

The directors not part of Cinder���s coalition swallowed her words hard.

In their state of fear, after watching Emerald’s effect on Jacques and Cinder threatening them with death, they could not realize the young woman was bluffing. The repercussions of killing them outright would have been unfathomable. But they could not understand this. Not in this very crucial moment.

And that was all Cinder needed.

The remaining members nodded, and just like that, Cinder owned unanimous power of the Board of Directors, and by extension—Atlas.

The Fall Maiden clasped her hands behind her back and stared at them interchangeably. None of them willing to meet her gaze.

Another step closer to Rule.

She grinned at the thought before continuing.

“Now, then. I believe some changes are in order. Also, a significant number of your…my apologies—our assets will be liquidated. You’ve sat on your fat piles of gold long enough without ever knowing what to truly apply it towards. No sense in hoarding more money than you can possibly spend. Emerald.”

At Cinder’s word, Emerald started passing out forms for each of them to sign.

“I believe it is time to share your immense wealth with the rest of the Kingdom.

Don’t you?”

.

X  X X  X  X

.

As the day ushered into the late afternoon, the skies stained with a bright orange, highlighted by yellow clouds.

Over the seas separating Vale and Atlas, the Atlesian Fleet scrambled to place some distance between itself and its pursuers. But the Mistral Armada was relentless in their chase. While the airships were out of cannon-shot of each other, the nonthreat did not hold true for the Grimm.

The Tengu were vicious in their ongoing assault. Although, the damage they did would be considered light against the reinforced hulls of Atlas’s airships, the chip damage accumulated over time. In addition, the winged swordsmen possessed an intelligent coordination to their attack. With Raven’s absence, another took control.

It was a disheartening scene to say the least.

Their traversal over the endless waters had been on for hours. They had their equipment and flight preparations set by the time they received orders to retreat. But by then, the enemy was already in pursuit. And over the course of their way back home, one ship fell after another. Their herd thinning with the lengthy passage of time.

It was then, the scouts spotted a new vessel coming towards them, from the direction of their homeland. They almost missed it, seeing as how small it was. But what it lost in mass, it made up for with impressive speed. A shimmering, silver aircraft with a pointed nose, like a needle.

“Calling to the approaching ship! Identify yourself!”

The radio transmission crackled.

“This is Weiss Schnee of the aircraft Swordfish. On my mark, all ships are to set their bearings thirty degrees starboard!”

“Weiss Schn—! Ma’am! I don’t understand the situa—”

“I repeat! On my mark, all ships are to set their bearings thirty degrees to starboard side! Do you copy?!”

The words of Weiss relayed to the ranking officer of the fleet, as well as a patched in communication.

“This is the acting captain, Trafalgar. Miss Schnee, what exactly are you planning?”

“Saving all of you.”

“With all due respect, I will not allow you to attempt a suicide mission.”

“…Captain, I say this not only as a citizen of Atlas, or the heiress of the S.D.C., but also as your former student. You taught me to always act with a sound mind. Trust in me. I am not sacrificing my life. Please, there is no time to explain.”

Trafalgar went silent for what felt like an eternity.

“……Do not haunt me with your ghost, Miss Schnee.”

“I certainly will not, Captain.”

“Helmsman! Order all ships to bear thirty degrees starboard side on the Swordfish’s mark!”

As Weiss’s speeding aircraft cut closer and closer to the fleet, the swarm of Grimm Tengu finished downing another ship, and were ready to start on the next one.

“MARK!”

“THIRTY DEGREES STARBOARD SIDE!!!”

With a smooth movement, the Atlesian fleet swerved right. The Swordfish zoomed past them and coursed for a head-on collision with the Mistral Armada and its Grimm.

It was then, countless arrays of Glyphs formed and rotated with increasing speeds. The sound of glaciers breaking resounded as white Nevermores crashed through their summoning circles. Their beaks reared and readied. They flew straight into their enemies, who exposed their flanks in their pursuit of prey.

Countless monstrous birds collided all across the sea. The ghostly summons ravaged the opposition’s Grimm and the airships behind them. Weiss’s calculated use of the angle and the counter-impact lead her strategy to its maximum effect.

In the span of a few seconds, the tide had turned.

Trafalgar was struck speechless briefly, before shouting at his also awe-struck helmsman.

“Reinforce the Swordfish! All airships are to enter combat stations! Make them pay a hundred times over, and a hundred times again!!!”

The fleet rallied to engage the armada.

And as they looked to the lone ship ahead, shimmering like a beacon of hope, they could see the Winter Maiden standing atop it. Her hands resting on the pummel of her royal blade. A dauntless expression. Silver glinting from her silhouette.

The soldiers’ morale surged at the sight of the noble figure.

A wordless message communicated from her stance.

To stay strong.

To steel their hearts.

.

X  X X  X  X

.

It was evening when Yang looked out from the mansion’s top floor balcony.

The cool air honed a fine sharpness to her senses, as she sat on the stone-sculpted guardrail.

Her expression drew pensive. Her heart heavy in her chest. And her mind weighed with a thousand thoughts.

“Enjoying the fireworks, kiddo?” a voice asked from behind.

Yang’s uncle joined her in peering into the distance. His elbows rested on the edge. Only an endless pitch black stretched out into the horizon. At least, to those with normal vision.

“Fireworks, huh? Is that what they look like to you?” Yang asked Qrow back.

“Yeah. Your mom too. Probably out there watching the same thing. Why? What do you see?”

“Not fireworks.”

“Hm,” Qrow’s tone dropped. “Something worse?”

“…….I wouldn’t say worse—but sadder.”

“Yeah.” The scraggly huntsman unscrewed the cap on his flask and took a long swig. “Guess the old Branwen legacy lives on.”

“At least Ruby doesn’t have it.”

“Yeah. Thank goodness for that…” Qrow was about to take another sip when he paused, not sure if he heard correctly. “How—”

“Dude. Everybody knows. Even my team knows, and they didn’t even try to figure it out.”

“Uh…”

“And no. I’m not having this discussion, which you shouldn’t be having with me anyway. Hey, tell me more about the fireworks.”

Qrow gave a long sigh before speaking again.

“Not much to tell.” He looked back into the distance, in the direction where the armies of Atlas and Mistral still clashed. “They look like red sparks firing off in the distance. I don’t just see it, I feel it. Like the way fireworks rip through the air. Every crack sends a shock”

Qrow grunted to himself, thinking he still wasn’t drunk enough to talk about it. “Every spark… Every passing life…”

A tired sigh escaped him. One of a weathered warrior that had been battered around by the world he lived in. A battle-worn spirit.

“Your turn. What do you see?”

…

Yang’s eyes shone with the orange of the afternoon.

She saw stars falling.

Falling…

Lights dancing across.

Too many to count.

Each with its own grace and beauty.

They held their place in the night sky, before suddenly streaking across the dark blue canvas. Yang could trace them to the place they fell. She wondered if she could find them, and hold them. Give their souls some small comfort before they faded and died.

The faint glow of a halo rounded her head.

All throughout the night, Yang would watch the shooting stars, paying close attention to each one.

No life passing on beyond her sight.

[anything-advice-blog]

Submission: How to let a guy down gently? - Jean

Hi guys, I know this sounds like a really, really lame situation, but i have a bit of a problem. There’s a friend of mine who likes me, but he hasn’t said anything to me at all. He tells all of his friends and anyone who’s willing to listen to him that he likes me. And I first heard all about it through them more than a year ago. At first I dealt with it (or didn’t :( ) by pretending i didn’t know about it. But now some drama (involving his gay best friend) happened and my entire batch/ all my coursemates know about it. I’m suddenly thrown into this really uncomfortable position where every single one of my friends are making jokes about it. Eg, sometimes the boy and I can be at the same table and people just ship us really really intensely (every. single. day), or sometimes total random strangers (in my course) would come up to me and ask about him (and his gay best friend) with a really big smirk, etc. To make matters worse, he’s in my study group and I have to see him everyday in small-group encounters. We don’t talk very much and we’re not close. It’s just weird. I’ve tried telling my friends to stop. I literally did everything from begging, guilt-tripping, getting mad, etc, but I think it’s too much fun for them, and they don’t stop. I am really tired of ignoring or not-dealing with this situation. It has been more than a whole freaking year of my life in college, but when people talk to me or talk about me, they will always, always bring him up. I don’t get it, we aren’t dating. I don’t belong to this guy! I don’t even mind the awkward situation or the ridiculous amount of drama involving his best friend. But this is what I absolutely cannot stand. My friend tells me that he enjoys the shipping, or the idea that he has a “claim” to me (despite the fact that he had never said anything to me at all about it, and I hear about everything he says through our mutual friends!) He’s extremely forward about his feelings about me to other people. I’m not experienced in the relationship department (which is uncommon for college-aged girls i know) and I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it :( :( :( I felt really bad about the whole situation at first, because I know it sucks to like someone and not have your feelings reciprocated. He’s a genuinely nice guy, and it always makes me feel so bad when he’s extra nice to me or buys me gifts that I cannot accept. I’m really sorry about this lengthy rant, but I would really really appreciate advice here. What should i do? We don’t talk a lot. It’s very awkward between us. It’s the winter break, but I definitely want to settle this before term starts. I don’t really want to meet him irl, because that would be freaking awkward (we are not close enough to sustain one-to-one conversations). But would that be unnecessarily cruel?? Help! There’s so much decorum involved here. I don’t want him to hate me, and I don’t want more drama. Should I just… send a text or meet him irl? How do I even approach this topic when he has never talked to me about it? Love, Jean

Hey there, Jean!

I am so sorry that this is happening to you! It really sucks when people “ship” you with people you don’t like and keep talking about you in this way. I know that you’ve already told your friends that you don’t like them talking about you and him, but I think you should bring it up again because it’s really not cool for them to talk about you two like that. I also think that you need to tell them that he doesn’t have a claim to you and you are in no way interested in him. Hopefully, they will get the message. 

As for talking to this guy, I usually recommend talking in person, but I think that contacting him over text is okay. It’s normally best to talk in person out of respect for the other person and to make sure that they understand everything, but because you aren’t close and it’s not like you’re breaking up with him, it’s okay to text him. I know it’s hard to turn a guy down because you feel badly about the situation. However, he needs to know how you feel and he needs to know that holding this over you is not a good thing to do. Tell him that you are not and have never been interested in him and that he does not have a “claim” to you. Let him know that you are more than willing to be friends, but you cannot keep listening to people constantly talking about his feelings for you.

I hope that this solves your problem! Have a good day/night.

I’m here if you need anything,

Michaela xo