#it could be nothing and I'm just imagining more pain than normal because I'm worried about it

[snubbullls]

Not thrilled that I have to wait 2 months for a kind of important doctor visit

[bohemiandeer]

You know what hits me hard? When 5 to 6 year old children, all the way in Southeast Asia, knows about what's happening in Palestine right now. That children their age is getting bombed, that they're starving to death, that they're getting shot at, and sniped in the head. Because, just this past 2 or so months, I heard some of the little ones in the Kindergarten classes I'm TAing in as an Intern talk about it. Hell, one of the little boys downright said he didn't like Israel, because Israel is bad, because they do scary things. Another was questioning whether Palestine was bad too, because, "why else would they shooting at them?". A little girl in one of my classes doesn't want to finish her food at all, because she wants to save at least half her meat and rice for kids in Palestine, because she heard that, they don't have food. And that's just the ones I remember. Namely the inciting cases before their classmates slowly follow suit. The littles are fricking SCARED. We had to sit these kids down, and tell them that the topic is too mature for them at the moment, that they shouldn't even be concerned because they're KINDERGARTNERS, they're not even old enough to properly understand. The one teacher I was TAing for had to make a class announcement saying that. What gets me is, these are 5 to 6 year olds, the youngest I've worked with in this specific age group is 4. 5 years old on average, and they've already been exposed to the worst horrors genocide has to offer through the news and snippets of conversation among adults and hell, considering how many of them say they like to play games on Mama's phone, or their IPad, even from fricking social media. And the fact that, these literal babies, from all the way in Cambodia, has more empathy in their entire body and soul, than full grown fricking adults have in the nail of their pinky finger, gets me. FFS we as adults could LEARN from them I feel sometimes. I honestly don't know what to feel about it anymore. On the one hand, this is the next generation I'm working with. And if the next generation's default response to a tragedy such as Palestine, is what I've seen come up on occasion so far? Perhaps there's some bloody hope for this world after all. At least in this country. Especially since a majority of them already come from families who survived a genocide. These are the 3rd - 4th generation descendants of those who survived the Khmer Rouge. They've got grandparents at home, who no doubt are more than intimately familiar with what Palestine is going through right now. And it shows.

But on the other, it makes my heart sink because these are CHILDREN, these are LITTLE KIDS, they should be playing with their toys and watching cartoons and talking to their friends about everything from Spiderman to Speakerman to Kuromi and her friends, and be worried about whether or not they can go to playground that day, guranteed they're well behaved, or if Mama remembered to pack in their costume for swimming lessons that week. NOT JUST MY KIDS. But the little ones in Palestine too. They deserve better. They all deserve, so much better. Hell, it's come to the point that whenever I look at my kiddos right now, whether they'd be working in class, playing, doing something as mundane as eating lunch or getting ready for their nap. I think of the children their age in Palestine that didn't even get the chance to survive. I think of the ones whose memories from this age, is nothing but absolute horror and pain, rather than what has slowly become my normal, who never got to experience what my littles do on a daily basis right now.

Children shouldn't even be concerned about "War", about a Genocide. The last thing that should be on a 5 year old's mind, is pain, and suffering, and the worst horrors imaginable ever to be inflicted on a human being. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S INFLICTED, ON OTHER CHILDREN THEIR AGE. And for that alone, the world has failed them. Especially the kids in Palestine who didn't ask for any of this. They just wanted to carry on with life as kids do, the same way as my littles do on a daily basis no doubt, learning, playing, chatting with friends over their favourite cartoons and characters, worrying about whether they'd get to go to the playground or not that day.

I apologize for talking about this on this blog. I know my blog tends to be lighter in feel, a lot more unhinged and light hearted typically. I mean, I'm just a fricking nerd who likes to draw and write, and lurk about her favourite fandoms to consume and support what is shared among other nerds who also like to draw and write. But I couldn't stop thinking about it. About contemplating it, especially since I'll be back on a roll tomorrow, working with my kiddos again after not seeing them for 5 days straight because of Holidays. And, I just had to talk about it. This is something I felt I couldn't keep to myself this time, I don't think my soul'd be able to carry it. I had to talk about it.

FREE PALESTINE. Our children deserve better.

[luxsky]

Kicking out

Rhysand x reader

Summary: Reader tries to have a peaceful day without their partner hovering with overprotection, but destiny has other plans.

Warnings: Pregnancy, mentions of body aches, Rhysand being an overly protective rooster. Ignore any biological errors; I've never been pregnant and have no background in any health-related field, so everything here is either from my imagination or a quick Google search.

Autor's Note: This is my first time posting here, and I'm anxious and very, very nervous (especially because it's the first time I've written in a long time). I don't know if I like this or not, but this idea has been lingering in my head for days. Maybe I'll do a part two, but I'm not sure. Please, I welcome any kind of feedback here! (but be careful with how you say it). I apologize if the grammar is... bad? English is not my first language, and I'm not fluent (much of this had help from AI for translation, so if something doesn't make sense or is placed incorrectly, please let me know so I can correct it).

It's the beginning of fall, all you wanted to do was sit on the expensive and cozy sofa decorating the House of Wind and read a soft and cliché romance book while sipping on a cup of hot coffee. Except, you couldn't consume caffeine for the sake of the baby growing in your belly. Still, you had the option to sit and read a book, but your large and exuberant belly prevented you from sitting comfortably for too long. Well, nothing a few pillows and a blanket couldn't solve. Okay then, you didn't have coffee or a comfortable position, but you could still read your book, right?

Well, no, you've been trying to do that since the early afternoon when you sent Rhysand to his office, asking him to work a bit in his own court instead of watching over you. In fact, he had been a mother hen since the beginning of the pregnancy, and that was just one of the excuses you gave to get rid of his overprotectiveness. But it was becoming a challenging mission to concentrate on reading. You're nearing the end of your pregnancy, which is exciting in part, with the anticipation of meeting your little one consuming you, but the discomfort of carrying a baby constantly kicking your ribs has proven quite persistent.

It's been more than five minutes since you were stuck on the same page, reading and rereading but unable to focus on the book, back pain and intermittent cramps stealing all your concentration. You were used to a slight discomfort in your back since the beginning of the second trimester, but today, in particular, it was more of a significant and noticeable discomfort. You sighed in frustration and decided that maybe eating something would help. Putting the book aside, you remove the blanket from over you and swing your legs out of the sofa, prepared for the struggle it would be to get up. Normally, Rhys would help you, but if he left the office long enough to realize something was bothering you, he would spend the rest of the day hovering over you, worried and concerned.

Breathless and almost sweating, you managed to get up. At this point, the only clothes that fit you were light fabric dresses, or what you were currently wearing: one of Rhys's sweatpants and a sweater stolen from his closet. Your partner started sharing half of his wardrobe when your beautiful, stylish, and beloved clothes no longer fit you—you cried for a whole hour after trying to put on one of your favorite pants, and Rhys almost cried too, not knowing how to comfort you.

Walking towards the kitchen, you almost laughed, remembering the various times when hormones provided you with uncontrollable tears and frightened your partner. In those moments, you felt slightly vindicated by his insistence on being present for every breath you took. It's not that you didn't love your partner and appreciate his concern; it's just that he didn't know how to balance it at certain times. As soon as you told him you were pregnant, he became an overprotective mother hen full-time, and it suffocated you a bit. Of course, you talked about it, and he promised to control himself, but if you made a different move, he was already on top of you, asking what was wrong and insisting that you needed to stay in bed.

Reaching the kitchen, you pause for a moment to catch your breath and lean your hands on your back while deciding what to eat. God, this belly was weighing more than usual. Deciding to make a big, hearty sandwich, you start gathering all the necessary ingredients from the cabinets and placing them on the counter.

You feel your partner gently pulling that thread connecting you two, and the next moment, he's entering the kitchen, a furrow between his eyebrows indicating that he's thinking, and the slight contraction in his mouth tells you he's worried. "Darling, you should be resting."

You roll your eyes and let a faint smile form on your lips as you reply, "I was resting, but then I got bored." You lean against the counter for a minute, then turn to grab a knife to cut the tomatoes. When you turn again, Rhys is in front of you, reaching out towards you and taking the knife. "If you wanted something to eat, you just had to ask." You pout at him, but he ignores it and turns to the counter, starting to cut the tomatoes. "I just wanted to do something for myself; you don't let me touch anything since you found out I'm pregnant."

You're beside him, staring at the tomatoes he cut, waiting for a response. He turns his face to you and plants a quick kiss on your forehead, grabbing the bread and saying, "Because the only thing I'll let my partner do while she's pregnant is to make this baby. That's consuming enough energy, and I don't want you to tire yourself out."

"Well, your partner may be making a baby, but she assures you she has enough energy to make her own sandwich."

He raises an eyebrow, and a shit-eating grin forms on his lips. Like she had enough energy to organize the baby's clothes last night? His voice fills your mind, the thread connecting you two vibrating with his amusement. Bastard.

I only slept because you decided to intervene and didn't let me do anything else.

"Darling, I only intervened because you were asleep." He starts putting each ingredient on the bread, and you decide to sit — not because you're tired, obviously — in front of him. You go around the counter as you respond, "Well, I don't remember... Argh." The sudden pain reverberating in your back and cramping that comes and goes cut your speech in half. Damn, you really hoped it wouldn't happen now.

Rhys is in front of you before you can even move, one hand on your belly and the other gently placed on your face, guiding your eyes to meet his. "What's wrong? Is it you? The baby? Panic fills his voice and shines in his beloved violet eyes. His mouth has that contraction again.

The only response you give is a negative nod, trying to catch your breath as the pain passes. He continues with his hands on you and doesn't seem satisfied with your non-verbal answer. I'm fine, the baby is fine. It must have been just another kick in my rib.

His right hand holds the one he placed on your face, and his lips try to form a reassuring smile, which is probably just a funny grimace at the moment. He kisses your forehead, and there's still concern on his face when he pulls away just enough to put both hands on your belly. His gaze alternates between your face and your belly; he still seems reluctant, so he asks again, "Are you sure? I can call Madja just to check, and..."

''Shh." You interrupt him, placing a finger on his lips. Your gaze softened, and now you're the one placing both hands on your partner's face, your thumb stroking his cheek." I said we're fine; it's nothing serious. The baby has been restless all day."

That seems to convince him enough because he agrees and holds your hands, bringing his face closer to yours and planting a gentle kiss on your lips. You pull away after a moment, this time with a complete smile when you playfully say, "Now, go finish my sandwich, or else this baby will start kicking for food." Rhysand laughs with your remark and turns to the counter, finishing your sandwich.

He starts putting away the ingredients again after placing the plate in front of you. "Why didn't you tell me you were in pain? We could have asked Madja for something." He finishes putting away the last ingredient and turns to you again, only the counter separating him as he watches you take the first bite of the sandwich.

"Oh God, this is so good." You ignore his statement, too focused on savoring what might be the best sandwich of your life. He accepts your lack of response with a soft laugh and turns to the cabinets to grab a glass. "Do you want some juice?" you mumble a yes, with your mouth full of the sandwich, and wait for him to fill the glass. He has his back to you while rummaging through the cabinets.

Splash.

"What kind of juice do you want, dear? Because I think we only have orange or grape, but I can ask the House to make some other flavor." He turns to you, waiting for a response, but his face transforms when he sees your expression. "What? Is something wrong?"

Oh, well, this is going to be funny. You finish swallowing the sandwich, trying to formulate a word. He stays where he is, waiting for your response, frozen. But it's your next words that make him run towards you.

"I think my water just broke."

Another pang erupts in your back, and you realize that maybe it wasn't the baby that was restless. It was contractions.

And this baby is about to kick its way out of your belly.

[dyns33]

Family language

We love a man who can use his tongue in a lot of different ways, even if he's pretty annoying.

It had become a habit.

Of course, sometimes they did it on purpose, to share information without being understood, but most of the time the Shelbys spoke Romani among themselves without even realizing it.

There were often a few words, and sometimes entire conversations. The first few times, Alfie hadn't said anything.

Sitting amidst the screams and noise that always accompanied his in-laws, he silently recited a prayer that they would quickly leave his house, before he lost his patience and killed one of them.

This would probably not please his wife, who was laughing happily with her brothers. Or her fratii, as she said.

He was starting to understand certain things. Alfie Solomons was gifted with languages. But he couldn't guess all the unfamiliar vocabulary, and so sometimes he got lost in very annoying gibberish.

“Cred it soțul tău se îmbufnește.” Finn whispered.

“Nu. E obosit, lasă-l în pace.”

“El simte că oamenii vorbesc despre el.” Tommy said smiling, his eyes landing on Alfie. “Domnul Solomons este deștept.”

No doubt, they were talking about him, under his own roof, purposely making fun of him in an unknown language so that he couldn't understand.

When he asked Y/N, she said he was imagining things. And even if he was right, he probably pleased his brothers by reacting like this. He just had to ignore them and act like an adult for once.

He could have listened to his wife's good advice.

Aside from the threats he had made if anyone misbehaved with her, the community had come to adore Y/N because it was obvious that she knew better than anyone how to control the King of Candem.

There were still fits of rage, because the man remained mad, but she always managed to calm him down. Undoubtedly, taming wild horses as a child helped to acquire this kind of gift.

In a way, Alfie listened.

The normal reaction he would have had would have been to attack the Shelbys directly, getting revenge in some way for their insult. But he let the night pass, thinking about the adult way to deal with this problem.

“DДоброе утро, любовь моя.” he said to Y/N, continuing to read his newspaper with his tea, as she entered the living room, still groggy from sleep.

This seemed to wake her immediately. She stared at him, with a look that showed which family she came from.

"What ?"

"I said 'DДоброе утро, любовь моя'."

"I heard. What does that mean ?"

“Nothing bad, don’t worry, клад.”

Y/N grimaced, visibly irritated, but she didn't insist, announcing that she was going to take a bath. Alfie didn't continue his game right away, because he wished he could join her.

The afternoon arrived, and his wife visited him at the Bakery to check that he had eaten, that he had not died under a pile of files or stabbed by a competitor, and to massage his back very carefully.

“Tes mains sont magiques, mon coeur”

This time, it was Ollie who made a funny face, looking at his boss, then at Y/N, as if silently asking if she understood what he had just said.

“Italian ?” she asked, continuing to massage him, looking detached.

"No. Questo è italiano, mia principessa."

"Prinţesă ? I'm not a princess, and you're becoming a pain."

As painful as her and her brothers speaking Romani in his presence, but he didn't say it. Alfie wanted her to understand it on her own, and no doubt she had understood from the moment he spoke Russian.

But even if she was Mrs. Solomons, Y/N would always remain a Shelby, proud and stubborn, refusing to admit her wrongs, and she would not apologize for having secrets with her family.

That wasn't even the problem. He respected secrets even if he didn't have any for her, and he liked it when she clearly gave him affectionate names that he didn't understand.

Obviously she liked names too. Amore mio, אהובי, mon amour. Their nights were much more passionate when he didn't speak English, the bedroom being the only place where she forgave him for this change.

But in front of others, when she didn't have the slightest way to decipher what he was saying, she didn't like it at all.

"היא הולכת לכעוס, בוס… זה לא מאוד נחמד." Ollie said, very embarrassed at being forced to participate in what seemed like a lovers' quarrel, and not knowing if he respected or was more afraid of Alfie or Y/N.

"אני מקסים עם אשתי. זה המשחק הקטן שלנו."

“I know you’re talking about me.”

“Not at all, милый.”

“Your employees look frantic, staring at me, I know you’re talking about me.”

The game lasted several weeks, before stopping completely, except for the little nicknames. This seemed to surprise Y/N, who wasn't used to seeing her husband give up so easily. She had grown up with the Shelbys, she knew these kinds of men.

Alfie didn't know whether he should be flattered or annoyed that she read him so well, because if he spent less time teasing her, it was to concentrate on another project in secret.

If he was good with languages ​​and didn't like not understanding, the solution was simple. He could learn Romani.

And it would be much more fun if his in-laws and his wife didn't know.

“Pare mai puțin enervat decגt de obicei.” John observed.

“Și mai puțin deranjant.” Arthur growled.

“El plדnuiește ceva.” sighed Y/N, observing Alfie, sitting quietly in his chair, looking at them and smiling. “Nu știu de ce מl iubesc atגt de mult pe idiotul דsta.”

“Cu toții ne מntrebדm asta, surioarד.” Tommy sighed, patting his sister on the back.

Although he had never played poker, Alfie was normally good at hiding his emotions when necessary. But hearing Y/N say she loved him to her brothers, he couldn't help but smile even more, which was noted.

And oh, how he loved his smart wife.

While the rest of the Shelbys were bickering about their future jobs, she came up to him, looking less angry than he expected.

“Ințelegi foarte bine ce spun.”

"Yes, treacle. A little surprise, which I thought I would keep secret for a little while longer. I'm not completely fluid yet."

"It's not fair. I don't understand anything when you speak in other languages."

"Je pourrais t'apprendre, chérie."

Most of the lessons were done in the bedroom, despite Y/N's protests that he was absolutely not focused enough to teach her anything useful.

When she threatened to make him sleep on the couch, Alfie found some time in his busy schedule to give her real lessons, or at least to give her real words.

"… You lied to me, again."

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, love.” he said while continuing to count his coins.

"I wanted to greet Ollie, like you taught me. I said to him 'אתה מטומטם עם זין קטן'."

“He must have been happy.”

"I've never seen him so upset in my entire life. You know my brothers never really made fun of you now, and I'd love to make fun of others with you, but don't make me say horrible things without let me know."

"Okay. You should also stop greeting Italians by calling them 'Stronzo' then."

"… I knew they weren't answering me politely."

"No. I had their balls cut off for that, אף אחד לא מדבר ככה ללב היקר שלי."

"Your 'dear heart' will sleep with Cyril tonight, while you are on the sofa."

"Think about my back, cruel woman ! I'm sorry, okay ? Mоя жизнь, mia vita, החיים שלי !"

“Canapeaua !”

"Does that mean 'I forgive you darling, come kiss me' ?"

He called Tommy to ask him, without explaining why, and even though he had an idea of ​​the answer. At least, the fucking Shleby had a good laugh.

Fine, I won't like you all in the dark like that :

“Cred it soțul tău se îmbufnește.” - "I believe your husband is sulking." (romani)

“Nu. E obosit, lasă-l în pace.” - "No. He's tired, leave him alone." (romani)

“El simte că oamenii vorbesc despre el. Domnul Solomons este deștept.” - "He feels that people are talking about him. Mr. Solomons is smart.” (romani)

“DДоброе утро, любовь моя.” - “Good morning, my love.” (russian) “клад.” - treasure (russian)

“Tes mains sont magiques, mon coeur” - "your hands are magical, my heart." (french)

"No. Questo è italiano, mia principessa." - "No, this is Italian, my princess" (italian)

Prinţesă - princess (romani)

Amore mio - my love (italian)

אהובי - my love (hebrew)

mon amour - my love (french)

"היא הולכת לכעוס, בוס… זה לא מאוד נחמד." - "She's going to be angry, boss… that's not very nice." (hebrew)

"אני מקסים עם אשתי. זה המשחק הקטן שלנו." - "I'm charming with my wife. It's our little game." (hebrew)

“милый.” - "Dear." (russian)

“Pare mai puțin enervat decגt de obicei.” -"He seems less annoying than usual." (romani)

“Și mai puțin deranjant.” - "And less mad." (romani)

“El plדnuiește ceva.” "He's planning something." (romani)

“Nu știu de ce מl iubesc atגt de mult pe idiotul דsta.” - "I don't know why I love this idiot so much." - (romani)

“Cu toții ne מntrebדm asta, surioarד.” - "We're all wondering that, little sister." (romani)

“Ințelegi foarte bine ce spun.” - "You understand very well what I'm saying." (romani)

"Je pourrais t'apprendre, chérie." - "I could teach you, darling" (french)

'אתה מטומטם עם זין קטן'. - 'You're a moron with a small dick'. (hebrew)

'Stronzo' - assholes (italian)

אף אחד לא מדבר ככה ללב היקר שלי - Nobody talk like that to my dear heart (hebrew)

Mоя жизнь - my life (russian)

mia vita - my life (italian)

החיים שלי !" - my life (hebrew)

“Canapeaua !” - "The couch !" (romani)

[y-umiko]

TOKYOREV BOYS WHEN THEY WANT TO BREAK-UP TO PROTECT YOU

CHARACTER(S): Kazutora . Hanma . Baji WARNING/S: angst? A/N: Please don't be surprised if the writing seems different as it goes on, I wrote each one when i'm in different moods.

Kazutora

Kazutora watches with gritted teeth as the nurse patches you up after being rushed to the hospital. It was nothing serious just some cuts and bruises, but Kazutora can't be relieved, imagining the worse that could happen if didn't arrive in time.

He thought long and hard about it, being with him had made you a target for others. and if separating from you means your safety then he was willing to do it.

but you were having none of it, all it took was to see the dreaded expression on his face to know what was running on his head. after thanking the nurse, you sternly gave him your piece of mind.

"whatever it is that's running on your head, quit it" his eyes previously downcasted and staring at the floor, flickering towards you, "I haven't said anything yet"

"It's written all over your face" you sigh, watching his eyes drift away from yours. Kazutora felt incredibly guilty that he can't bear to look at your eyes.

he had done a lot of bad things in his life, maybe this was his punishment, maybe this was his karma, if it is, he doesn't want you getting the same burden, and maybe he was right.

"Maybe it's for the better that we - "

"No" you quickly cut him off, reaching over to hold his hand, which was incredibly warm, "Listen to me, This is not your fault alright? so don't go having any thought in that pretty head of yours"

Kazutora simply stared back at you, content with your hold on his hand. wondering that maybe he wasn't so bad in his previous life to be rewarded as precious as you.

he was brought back when he felt you squeeze his hand, "are we clear?"

"…yeah" he mumbled, gently leaning towards you and nuzzling his head on your shoulder, this time he'll protect you properly.

Hanma

Hanma knows nothing good comes out of being associated with him. but he was being greedy wanting to have you in his life, he thought he can protect you but how wrong he was.

and for the first time in his life, he didn't want to be selfish, for your sake and his peace of mind.

"so that's it, see you around" he casually bid goodbye, hands stuffed in his pocket, after explaining to you he's breaking up with you 'just because he felt like it'. if it was a normal day it would have hurt you, but you knew him too damn much to know he felt guilty for what happened.

"wait a damn fucking minute" you called after him but Hanma pretended not to hear you and continued walking out of your hospital room. but you were quick to your feet, getting out the bed and dragging the bag of IV with you to catch up with him.

"you can't just come here, say what you want and leave" Hanma momentarily stops in his tracks, an internal turmoil inside his head, a slight worry in his eyes seeing you get out of bed. but if his gonna do it, he has to stay strong, as he continued his way out, "I have nothing left to say"

"Well, I do and you better fucking listen" you voice out loudly than intended, making Hanma sigh as he stops in his tracks once again to give you another piece of his mind and say words he didn't mean but will hurt you so bad that you'll probably stay away from him for good.

"you're serious-"

however, all those words got eaten and forgotten as you came tackling him, arms tightly wrapped around him, and head buried on his chest.

"Don't leave me…please" you coaxed, voice calm and gentle but Hanma can feel the tremors coming from your body. if it was fear of him leaving or fear of the accident. he doesn't care, all he knew was you needed him and that someone has to pay.

"you're a pain in the ass"

As his reasons crumble the bastards who did this to you can enjoy the last hours of their life. meanwhile, he wanted to be a little bit more selfish, as long as you want him, he'll stay with you.

Baji

When Baji came to see you with bruises and some remnants of blood, you immediately knew what had transpired before him seeing you in the hospital.

Baji just can't seat around, he just had to let out his contained rage upon seeing you all bloodied and bruised because of him. and amid the chaos of exchanging fists, he had a thought. his life had always been full of danger and will probably be more dangerous as the Tokyo Manji Gag expands.

he was sure enemies would come swarming towards him and normally that would have thrilled him. but after some careful thought, he wasn't alone anymore, the more enemies he made the more dangerous it become for you and he can only think of one thing to do.

"we should break up"

he coldly said, quick and direct he thought, hands on his side, a glare in his eyes as he stared at you. if there's one thing Baji was good at, it was his acting skills. and if you were anyone else, you would have believed him, luckily, you weren't just anyone.

"I don't understand? why?" you calmly replied, but your eyebrows were furrowed. while Baji remained a certain distance from you. it should be easy he thought, just like he practiced on his head countless times.

"I don't like you anymore"

words he thought would be enough to drive you away yet Baji swore you look calm than he thought you would be.

"then look me in the eyes and tell me you mean it" you sternly replied, and he did so with full confidence but as he searched your eyes, desperately looking for anything that will let him repeat his words, all he found was your eyes fill with unconditional love, eyes that had seen his worse and beauty. nothing came out of his mouth, words stuck on his lips.

"dammit y/n! don't make this anymore harder than it is!"

"then stop it!" you burst out before calming yourself. "I know what I'm getting when I agreed to go out with you, I wouldn't even lie, it was scary, but this is not enough to the point that it will make me leave you, you're stuck with me until the end"

"Besides I have full confidence that you would save me every time"

a rush of warmth spread on Baji's chest, he should deny it, he should continue his act and walk away yet his feet moved towards you as if having a mind of their own. would it be selfish to continue wanting to be with you despite putting you in danger.?

[brifoxred]

Hello, average Tumblr user, I'm Brisa, and I'm here to bring you a non-sophisticated piece of writing.

Personally, I like to write, and today while I was rereading some of those short writings, I decided I wanted to share one with you.

I want to emphasize that I am using a translator because I personally do not speak or write English, and any corrections or recommendations are welcome. Thank you for your time

Hunter x fm!reader

Summary: Hunter and Y/N go through another miscarriage.

All characters are aged

Warnings: miscarriage, guilt, angst.

"So...what's going on?" Eda leaned on the island counter on her elbows, looking at Hunter.

"Pffft, What? Nothing happens" Hunter smiled fakely.

"Kid, I raised many children, I raised Y/N, King, I took care of Luz and you. Do you think I can't tell when someone lies to me? Plus...it shows in your eyes..." Eda grimaced a little and looked at Hunter waiting for a response. The grimwalker just looked at the table, sighed, took a quick look at the kitchen entrance, as Luz and the children were laughing in the living room, then he looked back at the counter and murmured in a low voice.

"It happened again." They were silent for a moment, Eda didn't understand what Hunter meant.

"The reason Y/N called you was because she was in the hospital" Hunter looked up and looked Eda in the eyes, then the truth hit her.

"Another miscarriage right?" Hunter nodded.

“Where is Y/N? Is she still in the hospital?" Eda asked worried.

"She said she wanted time alone. She...was blaming herself again." Hunter sighed heavily. "She even blamed herself for leaving before you answered the call."

"Ah...shit..." Eda looked down and then looked up at Hunter, who was looking at the counter with his fingers tangled in his hair. The old lady looked worried at the man and walked up to his side.

"Hunter, what's wrong?" Hunter shook his head and sighed, shakily.

"Nothing...nothing" The blonde ran his hands over his face and rested his fists against his mouth, biting them.

"Kiddo…" Hunter shook his head again, this time with tears in his eyes and pursing his lips.

"It's okay...tell me what's wrong..." Eda rubbed the boy's back.

"I...can't...i dunno...i dunno"

"Hunter, you should talk to Y/N about it, you know she would listen to you, if you te..."

"No, no, i can't...i can't tell her..." Hunter interrupted Eda, while covering his face. "I always thought about being a father, I never imagined going this far...two children, and the idea of ​​having more, I like it, but... I don't want to continue going through this. Seeing her like this, it hurts me, it hurts me every time it happens, I don't know if I can continue and now... Another one..." Hunter shook his head, crying.

"Titan, we can't continue like this, but I don't know how to avoid it either, because...if another one comes, It could survive, but It also don't... And i don't know what to do Eda, I don't know." Eda looked sadly at the brown-eyed man, she didn't know what to do either, the only thing she could think of was to offer him a hug, which Hunter accepted. Eda rubbed the blonde's back, while Hunter released the crying and pain he had kept inside him, not just the one now, no, he released the pain he had been accumulating since the first miscarriage.

The one where both, Y/N ​​and Hunter, discovered that their chances of having children were lower than those of a normal couple.

"Listen, kid, it's not okay for you to keep everything bottled up, I understand that you just want to stay stable, as support for Y/N, but you also have the right to feel, okay?" Eda tried to reason with Hunter, and he could only nod, unable to say a word.

--------------------------------------------------

So...What do you think? Please let me know if you like it. I know Y/N isn't actually in it but I just wanted to share it because it's actually a scene from my oc, but that's not important.

[littlelioncub43]

Ok for murderer Monday 😶‍🌫️

Imagine being softdark!Lee's little housewife and getting your period and he gets soooooo protective of you esp. in public and when you're both alone and you're in pain and he's heard that pleasure can fix that sooooo....

AaaaAAAAAAH YES. It's been so long since I wrote for Lee. I need more Lee thots hehe

Home Remedies

Summary: When your period comes with a vengeance, Lee is quick to dote on you. But when the regular methods of pain relief seem to be failing you, Lee suggests another way to make you feel better.

Pairing: soft dark!Lee Bodecker x fem!Reader

Warnings: smut (18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI), fluff, fingering (f receiving), pet names (princess, baby doll, baby, nothing crazy), period sex, bleeding (obvi), Lee being Lee which is naturally darker but still very loving, brief mentions of force feeding, dry humping, Lee coming in his pants, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Word count: idk, I wrote this on my phone.

A/N: Holy crap, I accidentally wrote a fic! Look at me go! This was supposed to be short but it turned out to be a full length fic! I'm honestly so surprised and proud of myself. I hope you enjoy it! Hehe let me know how you feel! Comments and reblogs are always welcome! 💖

Kisses 💋

—K

Lee made it a point to track your cycle, it made life easier for the both of you. He knew when your attitude was less than agreeable that your monthly was just round the corner, which helped him keep a level head most of the time. He knew when you'd burst into tears because you were out of lemons and he forgot to pick them up from the store, that your monthly was approaching. As much as it drove him up the walls to have you all over the place, he knew there was no avoiding it. Just as there was no avoiding the itch deep inside him to watch over you.

On a good day, Lee had a hard time leaving you at home by yourself. The worry that someone might break in, or something might happen while he's gone lived permanently in the back of his head. No matter how many times that you tell him that you're more than capable of taking care of yourself, Lee had a hard time buying it. He just wants to make sure you're safe, that's all.

So when you're curled up in bed way past the time you normally get up, that need to hover around you comes back full swing. You were certain there was a knife in your abdomen, and it was slowly but surely cutting its way through your insides. You were flushed hot, but felt annoyingly chilly at the same time. After 20 minutes of wrestling with the blankets you found a position that didn't hurt.

"Babydoll?" You hear Lee's groggy voice laced with concern from behind you. "You feelin' ok?"

"Cramps," is all you could say through the discomfort. Lee clocked the pained whine in your voice and the waves of tension that radiated off of you immediately.

"Period come early, or your tummy?" He sat up and rubbed his eyes, ready to get whatever you needed.

"Period," you grumble softly. He grunts in acknowledgement and makes his way towards the medicine cabinet, grabbing the painkillers and a cool washcloth for your forehead, he could feel the heat emanating from you.

"Here you go, honey," he whispers as he hands you the two pills and the glass of water you keep by your bedside. You swallow them down with some effort, the water settling in your stomach makes you nauseated.

"Thanks," you sigh as he sets the half empty cup down and eases the damp washcloth across your heated skin.

"Y'welcome," he whispers and mozies his way downstairs, ready to call Ida at the station to tell her that he won't be in today. He comes back to bed less than 10 minutes later, lightly buttered toast and a small plate of fruit in hand. You sigh when you see the food, knowing that it's a lot easier to just eat the food rather than argue with him about it. Last time you did, he sat there and basically forced the slices if oranges down your throat. Lesson learned.

Once Lee was satisfied with the amount of food you'd eaten, he tucked you back into bed, this time setting a red towel beneath you to catch any excess blood.

"There you go," he presses a kiss to your face and straightens up, "if y'need anythin', you tell me, alright?"

"I will, honey, thank you," you smile up at him softly. While he still was the rough and burly sheriff of Knockemstiff, you couldn't deny the fact that he loved you to pieces. He gave you that boyish smile that he knows you love so much, and went about his way.

Your little nap lasted for about an hour before the cramps came back with a vengeance. The dull ache was now replaced with piercing pains that shot through you. Deep groans pulled their way from your throat as you writhe in your spot, unwanting to move too much.

"What's the matter?" a concerned Lee ask from the door, your pained groans having alerted him. Unable to answer him, he crosses the room to sit on the edge of the bed next to you, still in his pajama pants and undershirt. "Is it bad? Want more pills?"

"N-Nooo," you whimper with a shake of your head, you knew they'd do nothing to quell the pain in your abdomen.

"What do you need, honey? Tell me," he sighs softly, his face pinched in pain, mirroring your own grimace. Seeing you like this definitely did a number on him. "Hm?"

"Don't know," you mumble, frustrated that you have no clue what could possibly make this better.

"Wanna try something? I heard it's supposed t'help make everything better," he says, a playful yet caring glint in his eye. He can tell he has your attention now, that you're just desperate enough to want relief no matter how you got it. "They say that gettin' off helps relax the muscles that are crampin', helps you relax. Don't that sound nice?"

Lee tucks a strand of your hair behind your head, smiling when you nuzzle into his palm on instinct. He read about it months ago and was just waiting for the opportunity to put it to the test. Now all he has to do is get you to agree, which he knows is going to be a piece of cake. He watches as you chew over his proposition.

"Gettin' off?" You ask softly, looking up at your husband.

"Yes, babydoll," he leans in closer with a soft nod, slowly but surely moving to hover over you, "gettin' you off... makin' you finish."

It's second nature to spread your thighs for Lee, your body welcoming his own as he cages you in underneath him. You could see the predatory gleam in his eye as he watched you, waiting patiently for your answer. You knew that this was partly for his own pleasure, but the saccharine promise of relief from the pain was enough for you.

"Ok," you nod, your arms moving to lazily sling around his broad shoulders. Lee gives you that pleased smirk that sends butterflies fluttering through your tummy, a welcomed contrast to the shooting jabs and dull aches.

"Alright," he purrs, clearly pleased with your answer, and lowers his body down to yours carefully. You whine softly at the pressure, but he's quick to shush you gently. "It's ok, babydoll, it's alright. Jus' let me take care of everythin', and you be a good girl and relax, hm? All you gotta do is feel good."

He whispers his loving promises into your skin as he peppers tender kisses along your jaw, making his way to your lips. You both let out a shared moan of relief when your lips finally slot together. The slow movements of Lee's unfairly large hands pull your mind away from the discomfort you feel, the further south they travel the heavier you breathe.

"L-Lee," you moan into his mouth when he gently cups your sex, his hooded eyes trained on your face as he holds you in his palm, the heat from your core drove him fucking crazy. He groans softly as he begins to pet you, stroking your mound in slow motions, careful not to push too hard. Your eyes stay shut as small little whimpers of pleasure fall from your lips. The feeling of his hand rubbing your sensitive parts has a mixture of arousal and blood gushing out of you, just for Lee to feel.

"That's it, babygirl," he groans, letting his own eyes shut for a moment to just feel the growing wetness of your cunt through your panties. The small sparks of pleasure are soon not enough anymore, and you try to tell him with a gentle nudge of your hips. "Wan' more already?"

"Uh-huh," you nod, ignoring the teasing lilt to his voice. He gives your lips another peck before he's peeling off your panties and discarding them to the floor.

"So wet for me, aren't ya, Sweetheart? Always so wet," he coos as his thick fingers glide easily through your petals. Lee bites his lip when he smells the metalic scent of your blood mixing with the tang of your arousal— he could get used to this.

"Oh my god," you sigh and grip his white undershirt in your fists, your head lolling to the side as he circles your clit in slow, precise movements. You were so fucking sensitive, it was nearly overwhelming. The gentle touches left you burning for more and breathless, then you had Lee above you, watching your every expression with his own hungry gaze, and speaking in that thick drawl— it was dizzying.

"Oh, fuck!" You whimper as a thick finger fills you slowly, your back arches off the bed on instinct. The deep grunt that leaves Lee has you clamping down around his forefinger, his thumb replacing his finger on your clit. Lee was certain he's never been this hard in his life than he is right now, watching you lose yourself to the pleasure he's providing. His cock flexes against your inner thigh as he pumps his finger in and out of you at a sluggish pace.

"There you go, baby, there you go," he rasps under his breath, his eyes drinking in every little expression you make. The way your nose scrunches, how your eyebrows furrow together when he touches that special spot inside you, the way your gorgeous lips stay parted to let those beautiful moans flow freely. "So fucking beautiful, y'know that? Make me so crazy for ya, Princess, can't get enough a'you, never get enough."

The stretch of another finger joining his first has your hips trying to rut, chasing the pleasure, but Lee's heavy frame keeps you in your spot. He speeds up ever so slightly, the sound of his fingers sinking into your sopping cunt over and over fill the room.

"Oh fuck, y'hear that? Hear how wet you are?" Lee growls, the slick sounds being his undoing. His fingers speed up, keeping their pressure light as he stretches you out. You gasp and moan as the pleasure builds, the tension growing in your lower tummy draws tighter and tighter with each swipe of his thumb against your clit.

"Lee, m'gonna cum!" You gasp and toss your head back, your legs squirming as he works you closer and closer to your high.

"Yeah? Y'gonna cum on my fingers, baby? Gonna make a fucking mess?" His voice is rough, his own hips beginning to rut, humping himself against your thigh for some relief. The act alone sends you shooting higher ans higher towards your crest. "C'mon, honey, I want you t'come for me."

You didn't stand a chance.

"Lee!" You cry out as you finish, your body thrashing as waves of bliss crash down over you again and again. You can hear Lee's pleased grunts in your ear as you clench down around his fingers, his thumb working you through your high. A rush of wetness seeps from your core, coating Lee's hand and dripping down your skin to the towel. It's not long until you feel his covered cock throbbing wildly against you.

"F-Fuck!" He curses harshly as his own end catches up to him, soaking his boxers and pajama pants. Throaty groans resonate through his chest as he rocks against you to milk his high as long as possible. Heavy breaths replace the moans that filled the shared bedroom. Peeling your eyes open, you gaze up at the ceiling as you try to catch your breath.

Lee sighs and pulls himself from the comfort of your shoulder to look down at you with a soft smile. His face flushed pink and sweat beads his forehead from your activities and shared body heat and you can't help but beam up at him with that same lovesick smile you give him.

"How're y'feelin', Princess, any better?" He asks in a breathless voice. You giggle softly and relax your grip on his shirt to smooth out the wrinkles you left.

"I forgot that's what this was for," you admit bashfully, making him chuckle with you.

"Well, good, then I did my job right."

"You always do, Sheriff Bodecker," you coo and give him a kiss, already feeling more like yourself. Lee groans into the kiss at the title.

"You're a little minx," he whispers in between another kiss before propping himself up on his forearm, giving his attention to his fingers still buried in your cunt. "Fuuuuck me," he groans when he sees the mess you made. A thin layer of blood coats your inner thighs and part of his hand, the glisten of your cum recognizable on your lips and his wrist. Slowly, he withdraws from your pussy, watching intensely as his fingers emerge coated in your essence and blood.

The little whimper you give when he leaves you completely empty has his dick stirring in his trousers. Lee sucks in a deep breath as he brings his fingers from between your legs to get a better look.

"Would y'look at that?" He marvels, mostly to himself, as his fingers gleam in the late morning sunshine. Your face heats up at his actions, embarrassment taking hold as he shows you his bloody, cum covered fingers. Lee's eyes are fixed on his digits as he plays with the strings of wetness for a moment before bringing them to his lips. A loud moan vibrates in his chest at your taste, his eyes sliding shut in bliss as he cleans you from his hand. He finally releases them with a pop.

"Fuckin' divine is what you are, Princess. Fuckin' heavenly," he growls, his dick fully hard in his pajama pants as he begins to rut into your thigh again, his eyes dark with hunger again as he quickly unties the drawstring of his pants. "M'gonna fuck ya all fuckin' week, make sure ya don't feel nothin' but pleasure— fuck, m'gonna take care of ya, Princess, I promise."

And he did.

Comments and reblogs are always welcome! Hehe

I no longer have a taglist! If you wish to stay up-to-date on when I post, follow @littlelioncub-library 💖

[theprismyyy]

Yellowjackets + Twilight

Resume: I don't know...I like Twilight and I like Yellowjackets....do I need to explain anything else???

Tw: Brief descriptions of violence (nothing too deep), hybrids, mentions of bullying and not belonging or fitting into a social group; I think that's all, It hasn't been reviewed either and probably won't be, I'm too lazy

(English is not my first language)

Shuana Shipman---- Ok, let's start with our dear Shauna, I think it's public knowledge that this girl would DEFINITELY be a wolf, like... are there any doubts about that? Just look at this girl, she exudes puppy energy, that being said...wolf (or werewolf, whatever) Shauna!!! I can imagine her starting to show signs of transformation really early, as if she was a little precocious with it, maybe between 10/11 years old, but as she was really very young the transformation never happened, but like I said , signs, lots of signs, like she became excessively more temperamental, getting irritated by the smallest thing and she even punched another child at school because he tried to steal one of her crayons (this girl's parents went through difficult times at that time), also her body temperature was crazy, she was so, so hot that sometimes her mother told her to stay at home, since if any teacher felt this they would probably call the doctors for this girl, she was like a pot of tea steamy, also hair, this girl started having a body hair outbreak and that's okay, body hair is completely normal, but in her case? I'm really talking about an outbreak of body hair, as if it grew so quickly and so suddenly in the most random places, as if this poor baby had to constantly shave a single, isolated, very dense tuft of hair that had grown on his elbow during the night, it was literally from one day to the next 😭😭 I think she probably had this headache for a long time until the symptoms finally calmed her down and then suddenly disappeared, it worried her parents because it happened for a solid year and then all of a sudden it just stopped. , until she was 14 years old, when suddenly, without any previous symptoms, She was at home when she felt a mind-boggling pain in her spine that soon spread to every bone in her body and poor thing, she destroyed her own room, as if she was struggling and bumping into things, knocking everything over while literally screaming in pain and no one warned her that the first time could be so painful (in fact it varies completely from person to person 😀). Anyway, when she finally manages to transform, I personally see her being big, like...really really big, I know that in Twilight the wolves are already huge, but as we saw in the case of Seth Clearwater, character played by Booboo Stewart, young wolves tend to be smaller than adults (obviously), so here's the thing, I can see her being a lot bigger than most other young wolves, but still smaller than an adult, I also think she would be the most feisty among the young people and also the one with the most brute strength and may or may not end up accidentally hurting others sometimes... poor thing, she's just a very big dog who sometimes has no idea of her own strength and size😫 She is also a beautiful and proud wolf with brown fur, as if she has a dark brown fur with a beautiful transition to a lighter brown, almost camel in the belly area, she also has a lighter pattern in the fur in the center of her face. and near the muzzle.

Jekie Taylor----Ok...agora Jackie foi quem realmente me deixou pensando, pois eu estava muito em conflito entre a humana Jackie que já era a melhor amiga de Shuana e descobriu seu segredo e isso a levou a cair de cabeça nesse mundo maluco de lobisomens e vampiros, basicamente o que aconteceu com Belle e Edward... mas neste caso seria mais Belle e Jacob... ou melhor, Jackie e Shauna. Mas também gosto muito da ideia da Vampire Jackie e que o que levou a sua transformação foi o mesmo motivo que levou a sua morte na série, mas neste caso todo o cenário do acidente não existe, mas ainda existe todo o problema com Shauna, talvez Toda essa briga tenha acontecido durante uma festa do pijama na casa de Shauna e ela saiu com muita raiva durante o inverno gelado lá fora, e ela sabia que não deveria fazer isso, mas ela estava com muita raiva, e Shauna sabia que não deveria deixe ela. para fazer isso, mas ela também estava com muita raiva e os dois estavam sendo tão mesquinhos com isso, eu só sei que estava frio e ficando tarde e muito escuro, ela estava desesperada, tão exausta e sentiu seus pés queimando em toda aquela neve porque depois Depois de caminhar tanto tempo foi como se aquelas botas grossas de frio não estivessem mais adiantando, ela desmaiou de tanto frio em algum momento e felizmente (ou não, dependendo do seu ponto de vista), foi encontrada por um vampiro, não outra pessoa. cruel como Victoria, mas alguém bom e gentil como Carlisle Cullen, que a salva levando-a para casa e embrulhando-a da melhor maneira que pode e tentando fazer com que sua temperatura corporal volte ao normal, mas ela já está muito fraca e parece irreparável, então ele sabe que se não fizer alguma coisa essa menina vai morrer e então ela toma essa decisão, a decisão de salvá-la, ele a transforma. Sobre Jackie como uma vampira e recém-criada, acho que todo mundo que assistiu Crepúsculo sabe que os recém-criados podem ser muito perigosos e instáveis, então assim que Jackie acorda o vampiro que a transformou assume um ótimo trabalho de reeducá-la. , para que ela aprenda a se controlar, além de ensiná-la a caçar se alimentando apenas de sangue de animais, o que sinceramente acho que seria super difícil, como se ela fosse mesmo teimosa e instável, ela não quer faz isso, se alimenta de humanos, mas o lado vampiro e faminto dela quer, quer muito 😈😈😈; No meio de tudo isso temos não só Shauna, mas também toda a polícia da cidade procurando pela jovem desaparecida Jeckie Taylor, pois ela não voltou para casa após a briga com Shuana, falando em Shuana, a pobre menina se sente tão culpada e ela está TÃO DESESPERADA, porque em circunstâncias normais ela simplesmente sentiria o cheiro de Jackie, mas agora ela simplesmente não consegue sentir o cheiro dele em lugar nenhum, para ela é como se Jackie tivesse simplesmente desaparecido do mapa, porque mesmo que fosse apenas o cadáver dela ela Eu ainda seria capaz de sentir aquele odor estranho e desagradável, mas agora que Jackie é uma vampira, seu cheiro mudou completamente,não de um jeito ruim, mas não é mais a mesma coisa e nossa pobre Shuana não tem ideia porque ela NÃO SABE que Jackie agora é uma vampira. Em relação à aparência de Jackie, ela permanece basicamente a mesma, os olhos do vampiro são algo que só aparecem realmente durante a alimentação, então não há preocupações em tentar escondê-los, quanto aos olhos dela...inicialmente, durante sua menstruação como recém-nascida, eles foram criados. eram de um vermelho carmesim profundo, mas depois de um tempo, quando ela começou a se alimentar de sangue de animais e aprendeu a se controlar, seus olhos adquiriram um tom âmbar vibrante, mas ela ainda precisa usar lentes de contato, quanto à pele. ela. trabalho em peles pretas e 2. o próprio filme nos mostrou que isso não é realmente uma regra, pois vimos vampiros indígenas não-brancos, cuja pele permaneceu em seu tom original;

Lottie Matthews---- I'll be brief about Lottie actually, I don't know if I have much to say... Her whole family is made up of vampires, but as the Twilight movie itself shows us, vampire children are a danger, uncontrollable and hated by other vampires, so I imagine Lottie's family being like Edward's family, for example, except the "step-siblings" part staying with each other, but more like a small group of vampires who were coming together and forming a family in their own way, This leads me to conclude that in this case Lottie would be adopted, probably on one of the luxurious trips...maybe to a big city like Vegas or something...Lottie was young, hungry and desperate, so she tried to steal a purse to get some money, turns out fate made her decide steal the purse of the beautiful woman who happened to be a vampire and they were even tempted to suck her blood as a tasty drink...but for some reason, something clicked inside them and what was supposed to become a tasty snack became a daughter (??). Lottie was a very well looked after and educated child, she also received all the necessary psychological support, but when she reached a certain age her parents decided to turn her into a vampire, hoping that somehow this could help her with schizophrenia, as many other people were cured of other things by being turned, unfortunately for them psychological conditions. are not included in this, but the transformation made her much more stable than she would be as a human, in fact the medicines no longer work ☹️, she has some delusions from time to time, but nothing that makes her dangerous to anyone or herself; Speaking of which, I see her ability being something like mind control, which would be a great irony of fate due to the fact that she often has no control over her own mind but is capable of controlling those of others, so she can create illusions in her mind. people's minds and make them susceptible to her wishes, as if she told someone to jump off a cliff and the person actually jumped. 😁 I also think that she has already fed on human blood, because her parents feed on human blood, but at some point she simply realized that she actually likes animal blood more, in fact, the main reason her parents are never at home is because , as I said, they feed on human blood, but the treaty with wolves prohibits vampires in the city from killing and feeding on humans, as well as transforming them, so her parents combine the need for food and the taste they have for expensive trips, also all the staff in Lottie's house are human and she likes them all very much and treats them like family too since they are the ones who spend most of their time with her ☺️ (Wow... this should be brief, but anyway lol)

Laura Lee---- Sorry to my Laura Lee lovers but our beautiful girl is not even a Werewolf and certainly not a Vampire, she is a beautiful human, in fact I think her family would abhor vampires, as demonic dark beings created by Satan to bring destruction to the world...that being said, I see Laura Lee's family as fervent believers and also one of the oldest and most respected families in the small town, also one of the few groups of humans who know about the existence of vampires, who just don't try to expose them because of an agreement that was sealed a long time ago by Laura's ancestors, this agreement prohibits Laura Lee's family from trying to expose them and guarantees them a certain protection, yet her family hates them and their parents They had always taught her never to trust a vampire. This Poor Baby Was So Terrified During Her Childhood That She's Scared To Death Of "Big, Bad" Vampires 😱😱, but that of course changes when she meets a beautiful vampire, Lottie Matthews...cough-cough gays...Anyway, I honestly see her pulling out a wooden cross and pointing it in Lottie's direction and when she prays in the name of God... and poor Lottie looks like: 🤨🤨❓️

Lottie: “I don’t want to drink your blood, I don’t eat trash😒🙄”

Laura Lee: "Phew... she doesn't eat garbage😊😊.... She doesn't eat garbage?🤨🧐😥"

In the end our beautiful girls become super friends, Lottie would love to throw Laura Lee over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes and take her for walks, as if Lottie would just take her to the most unusual places and once took Laura Lee to a dog house that is literally TWO towns away just because she could 🫠🤗 (also a possible relationship because it would be super cute)

Natalie Scatorccio---- NOW WE HAVE ARRIVED AT THE PART I WAS MOST ANXIOUS FOR!!!! I have a crush on her🫠🫠🫠. I was super excited to get to Natalie, because in my eyes she wouldn't be a werewolf or a vampire, just, she would be BOTH, I see her as being a hybrid of both species; now, listen, LISTEN because to me this makes perfect sense and not because of favoritism or anything like that, BUT I see how her mother being a werewolf and her father a vampire, their relationship has always been toxic since adolescence and completely repudiated by their respective families, until Natalie's mother got pregnant, her father hated the news and disowned her the moment he found out about it, he wanted Natalie's mother to find a way to take away this child, but she couldn't courage...and as I said, they were both extremely toxic for each other and even though he hated this baby, he also never left, as if the two were constantly coming and going, they weren't good for each other but They didn't end things either, and with the birth of baby Natalie and both having been disowned by their families, they ended up settling into this horrible, dysfunctional and totally toxic "family". That said, Natalie is a hybrid, just like Bella when she was pregnant with Renesmee, I think Natalie's mother suffered a lot during her pregnancy, she was afraid that her daughter would be an aberration, like a vampire child or something, but when Natalie was born she seemed...normal(??) she didn't present anything of either species, which was a shock since inside her belly she was literally sucking the life out of her mother little by little (her mother was only able to survive because she was a werewolf, since if she had been an ordinary human she would certainly have died), anyway, Natalie was a very healthy and normal little baby, unlike Renesmee, Natalie didn't have accelerated growth or anything like that, she grew up like an ordinary child and her vampire side only came to manifest itself together with her werewolf side during her 14 years of age; she never even showed antecedent symptoms or that showed that at some point she could transform, in fact her first transformation into a werewolf happened while she was high and the few and only symptoms she felt before that, she thought were because of drugs😭😭 poor baby really thought that the unbearable pain in each of his bones was because of the drugs lol, anyway she transformed while smoking in the forest, it was crazy, she knew about her own parents, but as far as she knew she was normal, so she was so scared when it happened, coupled with the fact that she was high it was even more intense, I think she walked a bit like a wolf and then slept near a tree😫, After that day her vampire side also blossomed, she didn't feel the desire for human blood as a newly created vampire, but she felt a LOT of animal blood desire, as if her two origins collided and generated this, as for her eyes, luckily the werewolf genes they were stronger in this case, causing no change in their color, another thing is that she can easily feed on both human food and hunting, she can hunt both as a wolf and as a vampire, but regardless of which form she takes. do that her snack is the same, some poor animal... in fact she doesn't have a vampire ability, since her wolf transformation is already equivalent to that☺️ In wolf form, she would have a beautiful and soft light coat, which mixes shades of white and cream, she also has blue eyes and she is so majestic, also thanks to her vampire genes she is much faster and more agile than a common werewolf would be.

In fact, Natalie's case is very complicated, the constant feeling of not fully belonging to either world made her prefer human company much more, it's also not like she could actively interact with other wolves or vampires, since she would be considered a mistake, an outcast, an abomination and several other horrible things, so she is basically a lonelier person in that sense, she also had to learn everything about being a vampire and a wolf on her own, as she never had her parents to teach her.

Misty Quigley---- Ahhhh our beautiful unbalanced baby Misty, she is definitely a werewolf, look at her...she is literally a puppy...that being said a wolf, from a large family of proud wolves, she would also have a beautiful cream coat, it would be so soft and I think it's even a little curly in some places, like near the paws, length of the tail and on the chest; Werewolf Misty would also be a great silly cub, she tries to fit in with the other young wolves, but she is so clumsy, like she has two left paws and every time the other youngsters let her participate in races or games she always finished her off. tripping over your own paws or a branch, falling and knocking someone down in the process😭😭😭 One time the poor thing was having so much fun and thinking she was doing really well and she really was, for the first time she was fitting in and everything with the others, until she tripped over a tree root during the run, she was a little further behind the others but the fall was so bad that she skidded and "ran over" two other young wolves with her own body, this was generally a "mass pile-up" since those she knocked over bumped into others, so they all ended up knocking them down each other, this ended with some sore limbs and filthy dirt and mud☹️ After that, no one allowed the baby to participate anymore and she became more excluded.

Taissa Turner and De Palmer---- Both would be wolves, a proud and powerful couple I would say, they also both had a imprinting and since then they have been inseparable, their families don't exactly support it, but they also can't do anything about it since imprinting is something almost sacred among wolves, even this kind of thing between wolves of the same sex is not something very common, not because It doesn't happen often, but because it's usually not very exposed (sorry, but I imagine the wolves being a bit sexist and homophobic). Speaking of their coat, I see Van as having a dark gray coat with a mixture of light gray and Taissa with a completely black coat, black as night, Tai would also be much larger than Van, this makes her physically more strong, but Van's size makes her more agile, they would also play a lot of fights while transformed, but they are not really aggressive, although I think that sometimes they can accidentally take the game a little seriously, that ends with Taissa whimpering like a puppy in the corner while Van lies down next to her, licking the back of her ears as an apology for biting Tai's tail.☹️☹️ (my poor babies)

© 2024 theprismyyy — please do not copy, translate or repost any of my works without my permission.

[fatuismooches]

Yesss please, let's have some fluff for fragile reader and dottore <3 My new medication has been helping with my pain, so so so I'm just imagining like something Dottore is doing to help fragile reader is *helping* somewhat, their pain is lessened even if not completely gone but! It's progress! This makes the two of them feel hope for the first time in what could possibly be years, the sheer joy of something working, even just slightly, has the reader crying in joy because they've been able to walk a bit without collapsing. They still need their mobility aids but for the first time in decades they're not in agonizing pain and feel their limbs settle even slightly. It's not an overnight thing of course, Dottore has been monitoring them, and they've done their best to upkeep their progress. It isn't until one morning when they think about how the last few months have been before they realize as they're standing up to move around, moving to the lab, that it's... not as agonizing as it normally is? The bad flare ups are there obviously, but they don't feel like they're withering away. They feel.... stable, both metaphorically and literally. They haven't had any new marks from their body unable to hold itself up and bumping/scratching against the walls. They make their way to Dottore in the lab that morning, hobbling along more excited than normal, the smile on their face wide and joyful. It almost feels silly to tell him the progress, the fact they can hold a pen for longer now without the pain in their wrist being unbearable, the marks on their hands have begun to heal without new ones appearing, their steps more steady. Their illness isn't curable. It probably never will be, no matter how much Dottore tries. But... the sign of progress, of being able to *manage* it.... that is enough. It is enough. ❤️ -❤️‍🩹🌹

Oh,, this is so sweet fluffy and soft I love it so much! And I'm glad you've been feeling better anon, that makes me happy ❤️ I like to think so too... that although things don't get better quickly enough, they do over a long period of time.... after all, Dottore is your genius husband, you've always believed in him even when he hit so many roadblocks and failures along the way. It's an extremely important moment for both of you, you feeling better after so many years of illness and Dottore relieved that finally something worked. Perhaps not a cure, but to see you so elated and free after centuries makes him regret absolutely nothing. The segments too of course, they're finding amusement in your new-found energy and attempts to squeeze them to death with your hugs. In fact, there's a different energy in the lab now. Of course, it'll always have that looming air of despair and death to others... but when you're happy, the segments are too, and that means they spend less threatening the regular agents and leaving them alone!! Granted they have more work to do now since the segments are busy slacking off and showing you all the cool things they couldn't show you before due to your illness but at least they have a higher chance of surviving now!!

I imagine your progress just hits you one day, how you've been feeling a lot better both mentally and physically, of course, you're not in tip-top shape but the fact just makes you have a rush of excitement and exhilaration. You almost wonder if you've been dreaming for a while, but nope, this is all real. When you barge into Dottore's office, practically slamming the door open, he's initially worried that something bad happened. But you plopped yourself on his lap and placed both your hands on his shoulder, beckoning his attention with not just your body language but that sweet smile he hadn't seen in so long, then going off into a tangent with all the things you can do now. Your voice raising in pitch and volume as you waved your hands in glee, just completely contented and joyful. Dottore didn't interrupt once as he merely listened to you talk for so long without getting out of breath, and then at the end, he pulled you closer and gently bit your neck. Perhaps he can't express his happiness for you outwardly as well, but that's okay.

[fabaceous]

do you think jackieshauna could've gotten together eventually if the plane didn't crash/if jackie hadn't died or were they doomed from the start?

hi anon i know this took a while (sorry) but it's because this is one of my favorite cans of worms to open and i had a lot to say. so thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about it ;)

my answer, depending on the day and my mood, ranges from NO to YES, BUT to NO, BUT.

NO, because i think that even on a pure friendship level they are doomed. their flaws were like, designed in a lab (or a writer's room lol) to tear them apart. jackie is insecure and holds on too tightly to shauna. shauna quietly resents jackie for it and fucks around behind her back. as long as they have these traits, their relationship is a ticking time bomb. they will never make it within ten miles of a romantic relationship because even their friendship is doomed.

NO, because even if their friendship doesn't implode, they are both simply too damn repressed to ever make a move. im not even saying this as a cop-out, like, i truly believe in my heart and soul that they both have latent romantic feelings for each other but they tie themselves in all sorts of pretzels to avoid it and i'll go even further and say they are both REALLY FUCKING GOOD AT IT. like more so than most people. given my own experiences denying my (in hindsight incredibly obvious) feelings for girls (and i SUCK at repressing things) i have no doubt at all that they could go the rest of their lives convincing themselves that some girlfriendships are Just Like That. the human mind is a very powerful thing and the human mind on comphet and repression? nearly unstoppable. and even if they dont have some world-shattering blowout, and their friendship just sort of fizzles out for some nebulous and ambiguous (read: gay yearning related) reason, years later they'll still be looking back at their relationship saying Huh. Wasnt That Weird...Well...Nevertheless...I'm Sure It Was Nothing To Worry About...

like, okay, im gonna spend a little more time with this one because i think their repression is so key to their dynamic. jackie is obviously unable to face any aspect of herself that is even remotely imperfect. gay feelings for shauna would definitely fall into that category given what i assume she has internalized from her parents and her peers and it being the 1990s. shauna, while more willing to accept her dark side, cant bear the thought of wanting jackie like that. its the one bridge she cant cross. she'll literally fuck jeff. fucking JEFF!!! before she lets herself act on desire for jackie (at least not in a straightforward/normal way lol)

i think both of them on some level must feel that they have a desire for each other, or else they wouldn't be so desperate to avoid it. but they are SO desperate to avoid it, and i don't really have anything to back this up other than my gut feeling but i just can't imagine them ever overcoming their respective hurdles of repression, and definitely not under normal high-school circumstances. MAYBE in the wilderness they would've had a chance IF THINGS HAD GONE VERY DIFFERENTLY because they would be free from societal expectations or whatever, and maybe a life or death situation could've given them enough of a shock that they'd finally own up to their feelings. but EVEN THEN, personally, i think it's still questionable. i think this is just so deeply rooted that it would be anywhere from incredibly difficult to impossible for both of them to get past it. (it's no good if only one of them overcomes the repression, btw. then you just have unrequited pining (but secretly actually requited but the other person won't admit that they're requiting it so it's effectively unrequited which would be perhaps even worse and more painful. btw. if you even care))

now on to the other options...

YES, BUT, even if by some miracle they were able to get past their repression and date each other, i guarantee you all their toxic habits would be not only repeated but MAGNIFIED by being in a romantic relationship. like, ok, the good news is, they would finally be free to be openly obsessed with each other lol. but... imagine jackie gets EVEN MORE insecure about shauna leaving her because now she actually feels like she has a legit claim on shauna being "hers". before, her possessiveness (for lack of a more nuanced term) was tempered by the fact that they are just friends, and shauna should theoretically be allowed to have other friends, even if jackie doesn't like it. but shauna should NOT be having other girlfriends. so jackie would likely be reaching new levels of terrified of shauna leaving her. shauna would still be unable to address conflict directly. rinse and repeat this whooooole vicious cycle until it blows up in their faces like laura le--[gunshot]

finally, NO, BUT, and this one may be controversial & a bit more far fetched than the others, but i do think that under the right circumstances they could kiss or even fuck without it compromising their repression. i actually even think they could have a sort of sneaky situationship while still repressing their bigscaryfeelings for each other. HEAR ME OUT. they are both very careful about compartmentalizing their desire for each other and keeping it hidden FROM THEMSELVES. they often fail and it boils over despite their best efforts, but the more important thing is that they think they're succeeding at keeping their desire from breaching containment. and as long as they have that plausible deniability where they are hiding it from themselves, even if they don't manage to hide it from the rest of us (or even each other), i dont think its impossible for them to act on the desire, like, on pure instinct, but without actually intellectually or emotionally acknowledging the larger implications that that brings. and even if the desire breaches containment, they could still find a way to write it off as just desire in general and not desire for each other specifically. especially when they also still have the excuse of being horny teenagers with no impulse control, they could easily brush it off as, oh, we were just drunk, we were just experimenting. or even, oh, it was just shauna, it's not like i actually LIKE-like her, i just made out with her, but its shauna, so it obviously doesnt mean anything.

and i think they could even do this consistently for weeks months MAYBE up to a year or so, while deluding themselves into thinking this is somehow normal or not a big deal. because they have already proven they are masters of doublethink and repression, otherwise we wouldn't have gotten this far lol. but it would 100% also blow up in their faces. the question is, who would crack first? who would want something real? or who would walk away because it got too real? theres sooo much to ponder with this particular scenario and it's all very juicy and compelling (and GOD would i love to see it unfold with my own two eyeballs, can bart and ashley please write and film an AU of their own tv show?!) but i dont think it would ever lead them anywhere good or healthy.

so long story short (lol. conciseness has never been my strong suit as is probably abundantly clear by now) i personally do not think there is any possibility of a satisfying happy-ending scenario for these two. and i personally am perfectly okay with that because so much about them would have to change in order for them to get a happy ending that at that point, they would no longer be the jackie and shauna that i know and love.

[dragon-creates]

Royally Screwed!

Read on AO3

1/2/3/4/5

Wow that was some hiatus. But we're officially back! And hopefully we'll start to update more frequently as well, but I can't be too sure because of college and (if you've been following me on twitter and tiktok) I'm also voicing Jane Doe in 'Birds Of Paradise' by Rosetta Sun on tiktok. I really recommend going to her kofi as the rest of the cast and I are doing commisions to voice your oc's! We all have a large range of voices so if you want go to the link of Rosetta's tiktok bio and go to her kofi and see which voice would best suit your oc! Besides from that, hopefully I'll be writing more too, especially with a certain sequel everyone has been waiting for 👀.

Also, the beginning of the chapter does go into detail about Pomni's past and how she was treated by Caine, it wasn't great to say the least. I don't want anyone to feel triggered to like always, I will label (1) when the flashback starts and (2) when it ends. If this is something that you're not comfortable reading, please always feel free to skip this fic.

Anyways, enjoy!

4. Anything, Anything, Anything

(1)

Pomni panted as she stared at the ground below, clutching onto her aerial silk. She didn’t know how long she had been practicing for, only that she was completely exhausted. But rehearsals weren’t over yet, she had to keep going. The ground looked so far down below her, sure she was up high but for some reason the height was giving her vertigo. She never gets vertigo.

“Pomni?” Kaufmo called up to her, placing down a pie he had for his act. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Pomni took a breath, “I’m fine Pa! Just lost my focus, that’s all.”

The clown didn’t seem to buy it, “I don’t think so kiddo, start climbing down slowly, you look exhausted.”

It was true. Her eyes were red with bags underneath, she seemed paler than normal and she was concerningly thin from what Kaufmo could see. But she didn’t want to worry him, not when there were worse things at play, “I’m fine Pa! I promise. I…”

She didn’t get to finish her sentence, her vision blurring and her head pounding with the force of an unexpected headache. Against her control, she slipped into unconscious, letting go of the silks.

“POMNI!” Kaufmo screamed, running to where she was falling. The rest of the cast gasped, halting their own practice as they raced to the collapsing jester.

She was lucky that her father was there in time, catching her in his arms before her body hit the floor. Kaufmo didn’t even want to imagine the type of damage she could have taken. “Ragatha,” he turned to the ragdoll, “Go get her some water, she’s skipping practice for the rest of the day.”

“Now, now Kaufmo,” a low voice drawled, making everyone’s skin crawl when the ringmaster floated into the tent. His eyes sharpened in on Kaufmo and the fainted jester in his arms, “I don’t believe you have the authority to make those commands.”

“Pomni fainted Caine,” Kaufmo hissed, his own tone cold and unafraid, “It takes the slightest bit of human empathy to recognise that she’s being overworked!”

Caine went still, his feet planted on the ground, unhappy with Kaufmo’s attitude. Ragatha’s lions immediately circled round the clown and jester, shielding them from the ringmaster’s unknown wrath, “She’ll be fine, she just needs to keep practising.”

“She needs rest.” Kaufmo spat, “The only reason why she fainted the way she did is because you keep working her to the bone to the point that she can’t even stand. Not to mention the fact that you’re sucking the literal life out of her every day just so you can fulfil your ‘precious’ ego! So excuse me if I find everything that comes out of your mouth to be complete horseshit!”

The clown panted, not tearing his eyes away from Caine even for a second. The next few seconds were nothing but aching silence.

Kaufmo had been used to Caine’s torment for years. The pair of dentures forced him to endure each performance no matter how much pain he was in. As long as the audience was satisfied, he couldn’t care less if the clown had a few broken bones. But Kaufmo would be damned if he was going to let the ringmaster inflict that same pain onto his daughter, not if he could help it.

The clown turned his attention away from Caine when he heard a small whine, turning to look down at Pomni fluttering her eyes open. “Pa?” she whimpered, “What happened?”

“Hey there kiddo,” he rocked her lightly, like he used to do when she was younger after she had a fright or a nightmare. “You fainted, you’re lucky I was there to catch you.” He put a hand to her forehead, wiping away a bead of sweat, “You’re burning up, come on you need to lay down.”

“I didn’t give out that order,” Caine intervened.

“And I don’t care!” Kaufmo snapped, “You’re not pushing her to the brink today Caine! Do what you want with me but leave Pomni out of this!”

“Here,” Ragatha rushed back, a cup of water nursed in her hands as she held it to Pomni’s lips. “Oh sweetheart, you look as pale as a ghost.”

Pomni gulped down as much of the liquid as she could, she didn’t realise how thirsty she was until the water hit her throat. Her head buzzed with a light ache, pressing her hand to it when she finished the water. She really had been overworked, hadn’t she?

“Easy there, kiddo,” Kaufmo raised her upper body into a sitting position, “Let’s get you back to your quarters.”

Caine cleared his throat condescendingly, “I believe I told you that I didn’t give out that order Kaufmo.”

“And I believe I told you that it was complete horseshit,” the clown retorted, not taking his eyes off Pomni as he helped her to her feet.

“I guess you need a gentle reminder,” the ringmaster spoke softly, contradicting his words with the next action he was about to do.

He flicked his hand, a red mist contrasting Pomni’s usual blue appearing. It extended like a chain, wrapping round Kaufmo’s neck and pulling the clown towards him, forcing him to drop Pomni as she landed back onto the ground with a thud. “Pa!” she cried out, the others surrounding her.

“Let me make this perfectly clear Kaufmo,” Caine hissed, the chain tightening around the clown’s neck, suffocating him. “You are under my rules, you obey me. If I say jump, you jump. If you are tied to the back of a carriage while being dragged around on a rope, you will do just that. If you had to bleed out for an act with no one to assist you, you will continue with a smile and be damn pleased about it.”

Kaufmo coughed and spluttered, pulling at the misty chain to get the smallest breath of air, but Caine was too strong.

“Caine, stop! Stop please!” Pomni screamed, the others holding her back, “Let my Pa go!”

His eyes darted to the jester, his gaze making her feel tiny. He threw Kaufmo at a box of crates, the clown grunting at the painful impact. Pomni let out a cry, her hand reaching out to him.

Caine flicked his fingers again, lifting up the others and leaving Pomni on the ground to watch in terror. “You did this, you know,” Caine tsked.

Pomni’s eyes widened with terror, “W-what?”

“They all suffer because of your incompetence,” he growled, “You’re lucky you have a bit of talent and that little magic of yours, otherwise you would be a nothing-filled waste.”

“Caine, let them go, please,” Pomni begged, her lip quivering.

He rolled his eyes, letting out a chuckle before throwing each member in different directions of the tent. Sun hit his head against a pole, Ragatha tore one of her stitches as she landed on her knives and Gangle ribbons were tied up in knots when she landed face first on the ground, putting a crack in her mask.

Pomni covered her mouth, trying to stand yet her legs give way once again. She was too weak.

“Caine, what is the meaning of this?” Moon’s startled voice echoed throughout the tent, gasping when she saw everyone scattered around and furrowed her brows when she saw Pomni’s dishevelled form on the ground. “You have to put a stop to your madness, look at what you’re doing to everyone! Look at what you’re doing to that poor girl!”

“This is merely discipline, Moon, I’m doing whatever it takes to make sure a circus is successful,” Caine muttered, barely paying her any mind.

Moon could even barely recognise the man in front of her, “What happened to you Caine?”

He turned to her slowly, “Come again?”

“What happened to the man I fell in love with?” she continued, “What happened to the promises you made to make this circus amazing? What happened to trying no matter what? What happened to the man I fell in love with?”

Caine scoffed, “I did what I had to do in order to make these dreams happen. You could never understand sacrifice Moon, you believe what you want to believe but this is the way things are.”

Moon’s eyes darkened, she started stomping towards him, “You…you vile, disgusting, monstrous-!”

He snapped his fingers, an axe appearing in his hand as he held it to her chin, daring her to come closer. “Just because I’m soft on you Moon, it doesn’t mean that I won’t take precautions for you stepping out of line,” he glared at her.

But Moon was unflinching, staring him down with the same coldness he gave her, “Do your worst.”

Caine hummed, giving her a shrug, “Fine.”

He waved his hand again, sending the axe into her shoulder. An agonised screech echoed throughout the tent as a group of his masked men rushing in and pulling her away. “You’re lucky dear, this is me sparing you,” Caine sneered, “But make no mistake, I will be dealing with you accordingly.”

Moon screeched as she was dragged away, her eyes looking on with worry at the frightened Jester. “Run Pomni!” she screamed, “Run!”

She wanted to, Pomni really wanted to. But fear had paralysed her when Caine set his eyes on her again. Tears leaked from her eyes, feeling like the five-year-old girl he grabbed from the street the moment he caught of whiff of her power. “Caine, don’t do this,” she sniffed, “I’ll be better, I’ll practice more, I’ll stop singing just please don’t do this.”

“You know, I never did understand your silly little songs,” he mumbled, “You waste so much time on them yet you know the real reason the audience comes to see you, and it isn’t to hear those tacky lyrics of yours. You know exactly what you’re good for.”

That part stung. Yes she knew that her skills as a trapeze artist and her abilities was what got tickets to sell, but her songs were her passion. Her songs were her, something that Caine hadn’t been able to take away yet. She wanted to scream at him, to tell him that her songs were everything! But she was still too frail, and she was certain that it was only going to get worse.

“Caine please, I’m still recovering from last time and we have another show tonight!” she back away, kicking her legs as she crawled backwards on the ground. “Please don’t do this it…it hurts.”

“All good sacrifices come with pain Pomni,” Caine told her, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out the amulet. “You should be thanking me for using this gift, I’m the one who’s actually putting it to good use.”

He held the amulet in front of him, Pomni’s eyes pleading for mercy. “Now my little possession,” he grinned, “It’s time for me to receive my gift.”

The amulet glowed, a loud whine leaving its source.

Pomni could feel her blood boiling, her head pounding and every part of her body shattering with pain when she felt her energy being ripped away from her. Her blue mist was forced away from her, being sealed away into the amulet as Caine looked on with greed.

It hurt, it hurt so much. Her skin was burning as though she had been lit up into a thousand flames, her hair being ripped from her scalp, and she was bleeding out of every pore of her body. She wanted it to stop, it hurts, just stop, please stop, STOP, STOP, STOP!

A pained scream ripped from her throat.

(2)

.

.

.

Pomni woke in a cold sweat, her heart pounding in her chest. Her head whipped from side to side, scanning her surroundings in a dazed panic. She wasn’t in that lifeless tent anymore with that cruel ringmaster. She was in the castle, she was safe, and she was far away from him.

She let out a sniffle, bringing her knees up to her chest and hugging them tight as she buried her face into them. A few stray tears leaked onto the sheets, her sobs muffled against the blanket. That was the worst thing about her nightmares, they weren’t just that but memories too. It was real and it had happened. All they did was make her relive it over and over again.

Kaufmo told her many times that it wasn’t her fault for what Caine did, that his actions were his own doing. But seeing the repeated moments of her family being hurt over and over again just to protect her only made her guilt increase. Maybe Caine was right. Maybe it was her fault.

She took a deep breath, sitting upright and wiping the wetness off her cheeks. That was the past, there was no need to be self-pitiful about it now. She shouldn’t waste time fussing over stupid memories that only brought everyone else down the longer she thought about them. She just needed to get up and go throughout the day, push everything back until she’s able to manage it on her own.

Pomni swung her legs over her bed, going over to clean herself in the sink inside the connected bathroom, before moving behind the screen the maids gave her to change into a new dress she was given. She first pulled over a simple cream shift over her head, the silky fabric gliding over her skin. Next was a simple blue stays and puffy skirt, with two red hearts on each side of the skirt and ribbon of the same colour in a criss-cross pattern in the middle of her stays, with the bottom of the skirt being layered with red and white trim.

She did a onceover in the mirror as she pulled the strings off the stays shut, giving herself a quick nod before finally exiting her room.

Part of her wanted to bury back under the soft sheets of her bed, to hide whatever the day had to await her, her nightmare clawing at the back of her mind. But the moment she saw Prince Jax outside her door waiting for her, all doubts instantly vanished as a true and natural smile tugged at her lips.

“A good morning to you Prince Jax,” she greeted, giggling as Motley immediately jumped into her arms and climbed onto her shoulder, “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Only your smile little lady,” he grinned, eating up the little blush that dusted across her cheeks. “But that’s not the only reason I’m here. My parents asked me to collect you, they have an announcement for you and the rest of your family in the throne room.”

His brows were furrowed and face serious, this had to be a serious matter.

“Oh, lead the way then,” she said, anxiety started to grip at her again.

Jax sensed her apprehension, scooping her arm up and linking it with his, “Don’t worry, no matter what it is we’ll be able to figure it out. Promise.”

How does he do that? How does someone with the type of reputation that made her want to keep the farthest distance away from him as possible, say the simplest yet heartwarming things that might her heart spark? And how did he say it so honestly that she had to believe him? She cleared her throat, giving him a little smirk, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep Princey.”

His eyes were unchanging, still soft as he placed his other hand over her and rubbed his thumb over her fingers, “I don’t. You’re too important to risk.”

Pomni felt her heart skip a beat. If it weren’t for Motley purring against her ear, she wouldn’t have anything to ground herself from floating up to cloud nine. Her grip on his hand tightened, whispering, “Good.”

With a gentle smile and a steady hand, he led her out of the hallway and made their way to the throne room. Neither of them felt the need to run down the halls like they usually did, that experience would be for another type of day. For this day, the slow steady pace down the long halls of the palace was what the two of them needed. The comfortable silence of each other’s company was enough for both of them, not a single word had to be spoken. Was this what it would be like for Pomni if she were to stay? Just peace? No worries about what or who could come after her? That she could be free to express herself in any form she wished for, song, dance, art, speech? Where her powers would be hers and hers alone without the fear of them being used for someone else’s selfish exploitations? And where she could finally allow herself to open up to the idea of love? To spend her days with someone who would listen to anything and everything she had to say. To feel safe in the loving embrace of another. And she and Jax could live their days in nothing but peaceful bliss…

…Oh…OH!...oh…

Electricity struck through Pomni as the realisation dawned on her.

She had fallen in love with the prince.

Jax looked down at the jester once he felt her grip loosen on his, concern curling through him when he saw the worried look on her face. “Hey, it’s okay,” he said soothingly, capturing her attention as she blinked up at him. “I know that this whole ‘being called to the throne room’ thing seems pretty daunting, but trust me, there’s nothing to be afraid of. My parents always have a plan, so no matter what happens, I’m sure it’ll be alright.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” she nodded, giving him a soft smile before they continued walking. How she wished that were the reason why she suddenly felt so down. But no. She loved Jax, she had fallen so hard for him. But she didn’t have the luxury to stay with him. Someone like her couldn’t afford to love.

Bury it down, she inhaled deeply, don’t ruin this, not like everything else.

She wanted to enjoy this as much as she could before anything else could happen.

The throne room already had a small audience, consisting of the rest of the circus while Kinger and Queenie sat ahead of them on their thrones. The king and queen shared a nervous yet hopeful look, two emotions that could go either way depending on what the topic of conversation that were about to have. It only made the prince and jester all the more nervous.

“Thank you for joining us Pomni, I’m glad that our son is being a good host to you,” Queenie greeted, bowing her head to the girl.

“Well, he has become a very good friend to me over the past few days,” Pomni gave the prince a smile before focusing back on the queen, “If you don’t mind me asking your majesty, but why have you summoned us all here?”

“Hey, it’s okay kiddo,” Kaufmo walked up to her. Pomni detached her arm from Jax’s to put her hands in her father’s, the rabbit already missing the warmth of her touch. “They’ve already informed us that there is nothing to worry about.”

Pomni exhaled shakily, nodding. Though her nerves would get the best of her at times, Kaufmo’s voice was always something that kept her slightly grounded ever since she was a child. Even Motley’s purring added to that as well. With a final breath, she turned to the king and queen, ready to hear whatever they had to say.

Kinger cleared his throat, rising from his throne, “As you know, we’ve had our guards roam outside of our kingdom to make sure that Caine or his men haven’t been planning another invasion. Well, we’ve just had a report back and they’ve told us that the outer realm has been clear of them since the last attack.”

“We’ve told them to do one last surveillance before their final report, just to make sure that Caine isn’t lurking,” Queenie continued, “However, since there’s not been any sightings, we believe that it is safe for you to continue with your travels.”

 “So, how long do you determine that we stay in the castle?” Ragatha asked, “During the last surveillance.”

“Unless anything else comes back, I’d say you should stay at least one more week before you believe that you should go,” Queenie confirmed.

Several of the cast members let out a sigh of relief, the anxiety of Caine’s lurking washing away at the thought of being free to travel again. Though a bittersweetness hung in the air. The kingdom had been nothing but supportive and accommodating to them in their time of need. What was supposed to be a short time here to entertain the subjects here had turned into the kindest experience any of them had ever received in their entire lives.

For Pomni? While the thought of seeing new places (and being as far away from Caine as possible) thrilled her to her core. For the first time in her life, she actually wanted to stay. Don’t get her wrong, she still had her dreams of travelling the realms, to let audiences hear her songs - not watch her acts or witness her powers, but to listen to her songs. To listen to her singing. To listen to her.

But if she closed her eyes for a moment, only a moment, she wanted to let herself pretend. Pretend that she had a place here, to wake up in the morning and plan to do whatever she pleased, to go out into town and greet the other people of the kingdom as though she were one of them too. To sing in the town centre for whoever wanted to stop and hear her.

And perhaps, in the far back of her mind, she would go up to the castle and be greeted by a pair of yellow eyes and a Cheshire grin. Where he would take her hands into his and ask about her day, stroll in the gardens with her as he listened to whatever plans she wanted to venture. To listen to the songs that she only reserved for him and him alone. And until the midnight sky, watching the stars twinkle amongst the inky blanket of the nightly heavens, he would hold her in his arms, a silent promise that he would always love her. No matter what.

But now, she realised that there was no way to have that fantasy be real. Yes, Caine wasn’t spotted by any of the guards, but it didn’t change the fact that he was still out there. Still waiting for the chance to strike and get his hands on her and her powers. As long as Caine was after her, she could never have the life she dreamed of living.

Jax looked over the side of his shoulder, worry striking him when he saw Pomni’s crestfallen expression and the glazed look in her eyes. While he was sad that she was leaving (and deep down prayed that she could stay), a part of him believed that there would be some joy in the fact that she could finally be free to leave. He knew that something was wrong, “Pomni, what’s wrong?”

Pomni wanted to cry right there and then at how kind his words sounded, at how far the prince had come from the stereotype she expected from him. Why couldn’t she just keep hating him, why did he charm and endear her so much that she had to fall in love with him! It could have made everything so much easier. She wanted to tell him how much she wanted to stay, tell him all of the potential plans she could have had here, and how much she wanted him to be part of them. But the words kept getting stuck in her throat, as though an invisible hand had wrapped around her neck, silencing her from making any word that would ruin Jax too.

“However,” Kinger’s voice rang through the room. “There is one last thing we would like to do before you all take your leave.”

Pomni didn’t know whether to feel eased or frustrated at the sudden interruption.

“We would like to host a ball in your honour near the end of the week,” Queenie announced, “To thank you for all that you have done here.”

“For what we’ve done?” Ragatha titled her head in confusion, “Your majesty, you and your family are the ones who took care of us in our time of need?

Queenie eyes softened, a glimmer of a smile flickering in her gaze. A kind look that Jax knew all too well from his mother. “Yes, you and your family may have been under our care,” Queenie confirmed, “But it does not take away from the fact that you have all been an incredible presence in our kingdom. You have brought smiles to everyone, not just from your performances, but by simply being your best true selves for everyone to see. Even if you didn’t bring your tricks or talents, the moment you stepped out into town you all saw the world as authentic and beautiful, that’s what brought our subjects to you. That mind view is an incredible ability to possess, you’re lucky. Many people lack it. That’s why we want to celebrate you, for all of you cherishing the kindness that our kingdom was built upon. Doing that is the greatest thing our foreigners and travellers can do, that is why the entire kingdom is invited, so they can say one more final thank you and goodbye for all that you have done for us.”

Each member looked to one another, like a sparkler had been lit within their souls as they grinned at the prospect of a ball. Neither one of them had been to one before, mostly they would stay as long as they would need to in the town they were performing in, do the performance they rehearsed day and night to do before finally leaving up the time their shows were finished. They had only heard what happened at balls through whispers of stories from the other common folk. And now they could finally be a part of one.

Excited murmurs broke out between them, wondering what they could wear, where they could get their garments, what colours they should choose, what type of jewellery they would wear if they decided to wear them at all. There was just so many choices in so little time! It was all so amazing!

Pomni felt herself smiling. A ball. Like everyone else, she had never been to one. But Kaufmo’s fairytales left so many fantasies in her mind. When she was a teenager - after a rough night of performing and dealing with Caine’s wrath - she would dream about being at a ball, wearing the loveliest gown while dancing under the stars. Sometimes those dreams would include a handsome prince or princess sweeping her off her feet, taking her far away from all that hurt her.

She looked to Jax. She may be leaving after the end of the week, but it was still one night to have all her dreams come true. Even if it would only last for so long. “So,” she lightly nudged Jax’s shoulder, “I’m guessing you already have a plus one to bring to the ball. A princess no doubt.”

“Well I am planning on asking someone,” Jax confirmed. Pomni felt her face fall a bit, a little piece of her was hoping he would ask her. Huh, she never expected that thought to enter her mind. “She might not be a princess, but she has the spirit of one for sure.”

“Oh,” Pomni fiddled with her ring finger, “Well, she’s lucky if you’re the one who’s wanting to ask her.”

“I’m the lucky one if she says yes little lady,” he grinned, “Or rather, if you say yes.”

Pomni’s head snapped up.

“You really think I wouldn’t be asking you?” Jax chuckled, “Did you not see what I was like when I met you? Maybe you hit your head harder than you thought before I heroically saved you.”

“Shut up,” she shoved his lightly in the chest, unable to stop her own laughter from joining his. “I’ve never been to a ball hosted by royalty, I thought since you’re the prince that it was required for you to ask a princess or a noble to join you.”

“Maybe in other kingdoms,” he nodded, “But here, you’re the only lady I want by my side that night.” His breath wavered as his face went serious. His hands slightly shaky as he prepared himself for his next question. Years of his ego being his defining personality trait, to be able to get away with the most rioting pranks and wild parties, it all melted away when asking the girl of his dreams to a simple ball.

And this was the same prince who revelled in the promise of danger.

“Pomni,” he began, taking her hand still on his chest into his own, lacing their fingers together. “Would you do me the honour of accompanying me to the ball?”

She squeezed his hand, her stomach doing an excited little flip as she answered, “I’d love to.” The jester heard a disgruntled cough coming from behind her, and by Jax’s pale expression, she could tell who it was. She turned, coming face to face with Kaufmo, Ragatha and Moon, each of them wearing a stern look on their faces. “Pa, it’s okay. He asked and I agreed.”

“Don’t worry kiddo, I know you did. I trust you,” Kaufmo replied reassuringly to his daughter. “I just have a warning for the prince.”

Jax gulped at the three cold stares coming from the trio, if looks could kill then he was fairly sure he would be singing with the angels right about now. “Let me make this very clear,” Kaufmo began, “If Pomni is even slightly sad at the ball because of you, then I have no hesitation to let Ragatha use you as cat food for her lions.”

The ragdoll nodded, glaring at him with all her might. Moon didn’t even have to say anything, but the way she stood with Ragatha was enough to tell him that she had no problem assisting the redhead. He whipped his head to his parents, who hadn’t uttered a word during this whole ordeal.

“Don’t look at me,” Queenie put her hands up. “I’m not the one to judge a father for being protective over his daughter. Besides, he has a right to be wary of you darling.”

Jax shrugged with a nod, he couldn’t disagree there. He looked back at Pomni, her cheeks slightly flushed with a humoured smile on her lips after that whole interaction. How did she manage to look so beautiful in every way? He probably had a lovesick look on his face again, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care because this was her, nothing else mattered. “Well in that case,” he picked up her hand again, revelling in the way her cheeks flushed even more, “I can’t wait to see you there, my little lady.” He pressed a gentle kiss on the back of her hand, forcing himself not to laugh as he heard a silent squeal erupting from the back of her throat.

“A-and, I-I,” Pomni cleared her throat, straightening her back again and regaining the calmness she had before. “And I you, your highness.” She then enclosed his hand in both her palms, with the upmost gentleness she started running her thumb over his fingers, like he had done so with her hand earlier. All without breaking eye contact with him, she smirked when it was his turn for him to get all flustered.

She let go, giving him a small curtsy, “Now if you don’t mind, I’m fairly certain that the rest of the ladies and non-gender affirming friend are going to drag me to help them find ballgowns soon.”

Jax spluttered, trying to find the words that were in his head a few seconds ago. How on earth did this tiny powerful woman have this much of a hectic effect on him only from touching his hand?! “Y-yeah, I’m pretty sure my father will be doing that but for me,” he wasn’t able to focus on anything but the faint tingling of where her fingers had been on his hand, sending little shocks up the nerves on his arm. He flexed his hand, letting his fingers stretch to see if it would make any difference. The tingling only increased, his fur fluffing up at his neck at the reaction. He huffed fondly, worth it. “I look forward to seeing how beautiful you look.”

She raised her brow at him, rolling her eyes as he chuckled. He was always just so him wasn’t he? But it’s also why you fell in love with him, isn’t it? She sighed, yes, it was. In the amount of since she met him, he had become a far cry of what she believed him to be from the tales she heard. He had proven to be kind, noble and brave. Though still a little bit of a trickster, a good man and a good prince with a tender heart was all she could see. And soon she would have to leave all that behind.

She opened her mouth to say something, she wanted to say something, but she found herself being pulled away by Ragatha, Moon, Gangle and Zooble. Just like she had suspected, they were pulling her away to start dress shopping. “I’m afraid we’ll have to continue our conversation later!” she called out to Jax, looking over her shoulder while Motley jumped out of her arms and trotted back to the prince as she was dragged out of the ballroom.

Jax laughed at the scene in front of him, picking up the kitten and placing him on his shoulder, “I look forward to it.”

Pomni gave him one final smile, before joining in with the excited chatter with the rest of the ladies and Zooble.

However, once she was out of sight, did Jax let himself frown. The girl seemed so strangely down all morning, quieter and more reserved, less of the usual spunk than he had come to expect. Had something happened? Did he do something to offend her? Whatever it was he should at least try and make it up to her.

“You’re overthinking,” A familiar voice murmured. Jax turned to face his father walking towards him.

“I inherited it from you, old man,” the prince snickered. Kinger’s face didn’t move an inch, not willing to change the topic of conversation just yet. Jax sighed, “I’m worried about Pomni. She hasn’t really been herself much this morning. I didn’t want to pry into what it is cause its none of my business and I don’t wanna push her, she already felt pretty stressed out when she told me about her past. I don’t wanna add anymore onto that. But I can tell that something’s wrong, and I hate feeling helpless. I just want to protect her.”

Kinger hummed. He had heard this monologue many decades ago from when he was around Jax’s age. He should know, for Kinger was the one who said it too. “When I fell in love your mother, I was a wreck,” the king began. “Despite going round in circles to think of a way to win her heart, I also had other thoughts in my head as well. I worried that I could never protect her the way I wanted to, she could be sad for only a moment and I would panic that I had done something to hurt her. But when he married and grew together, I had to realise that I wasn’t a magical knight from a story book. Even with my crown I was only a man who loved his wife deeply. It hurts when we have to come to turns that we cannot protect everyone – including the ones we love – but no matter what we still try. We try because we know that it’s better for them to be in our lives than to lose them. We can do what we can and that’s all right, for what is love than the desire to guard what we care for the most?”

Clarity never hit Jax harder than it did right here in this moment. He lifted the hand that Pomni touched again, shifting his fingers where hers had been. His father was right. Even the biggest dam in all of the world would never be able to stop a crack, letting a flood release. And even if he wanted to, he knew that there were bigger forces out there who would do nothing but take Pomni for themselves. He squeezed his hand into a fist, but they would have to kill him first before ever hurting Pomni ever again. Even if he were to fall, her safety would forever and always come first for him. “Yeah,” he nodded, “It is.”

Kinger felt warmth radiate through him, it had been so long since he heard that part of his son speak so earnestly. He missed him, “Come now, it’s time we get you fitted. I’m sure you’ll want to look your best for your lady-friend at the ball.”

He snickered as he heard his son’s splutters, it was fun getting under Jax’s skin sometimes. A little petty revenge if that’s what you want to call it.

From the side, Kaufmo stood, hearing everything they had just said. For the first time, since Jax saved her, he was able to see clearly about what Pomni saw in the prince.

.

.

.

Pomni was panicking. Which wasn’t a complete shock. Tomorrow was the ball and she had spent the entire week helping everyone else pick out their gowns expect for herself. The ladies had insisted on finding what colour would flatter her the most, but she had turned away in favour of finding something for them, insisting that she would find a garment for herself soon. And yet, here she was. Gown-less and nearing a mental breakdown.

She groaned, honestly she blamed herself. She had been so caught up in the nightmares that she had and the future aftermath of the ball. Caine would always be breathing down her neck, something she would never be able to shake away even after they escaped from him the first time, and soon she would be returning to that fear. When she met Jax, somehow his foolishness and change in behaviour had been able to forget about her worries for a while, despite their first meeting. He only had to say one word and the rest of the world didn’t matter, it was just bliss. Soon, she wouldn’t have that anymore. She’d soon return to surviving for herself and her family, looking over her shoulder constantly to make sure a pair of blue and green eyes wouldn’t be staring back at her.

She just wanted to be selfish, just once and stay here. Stay with Jax, stay in the kingdom, stay in the life that she oh so wanted to have. But the thought of Caine harming Jax because of his obsession with her powers was a risk that she never wanted to take…after all, it was the same risk that her village was raided and burned to the ground.

How dare you think of that, how dare you even think about staying. You could lose everything just because of your entitlement you stupid girl! Pomni felt tears well up in her eyes, You’re selfish! Selfish! Selfish! Selfish! Selfish-

A knock at her door broke her away from her panic, wiping away her tears and smoothing down the fabric of her skirt. “Just coming!” she hoped her voice didn’t give away the fact that she had been crying.

She had expected either Ragatha or Kaufmo to show up at her door, so it was quite the shock when it was Queenie who had appeared, holding a large yet flat box under her arm. “Apologies, I don’t mean to intrude Pomni but I…Oh darling, what happened?” the queen asked, her brows furrowing with worry.

Pomni wanted to rub at her eyes again, to hide any evidence of her tears. But the queen had already put the box down and took the jester’s hands into hers, leaving Pomni unable to hide. “It’s nothing, your majesty,” Pomni brushed off her worries, “Please, don’t mind me, I’ll be okay.”

“Oh honey,” The queen wrapped her arms around the girl, “This is a safe place, your tears aren’t nothing. Whatever it is you’re feeling, don’t ever be afraid to say it.” 

Pomni typically wasn’t one for physical touch, usually it was reserved for those she was close with like Kaufmo or Ragatha – and now it included Jax. But this was different. Queenie’s warmth reminded her of a familiar touch that she had not received in a long time. A touch of a mother reassuring her child that everything was going to be okay. And though Pomni couldn’t remember her face, that small yet significant warmth from her mother stayed with the girl throughout her life. And now, she was receiving the same touch from Queenie, another mother who fiercely loved her son.

Pomni clutched onto the queen, her small body shaking with silent sobs. Queenie was patient and gentle the whole time, rubbing her hand up and down the jester’s back, shushing in her ear like how she did with Jax when he was young whenever he got scared or bruised his knee. She had only heard snippets from Jax about what the girl’s childhood what like, he didn’t tell her everything, after all, only Pomni could be the one to detail her past to another. But what she heard was enough for her to know that this poor girl had went through hell and back. She wasn’t surprised to see Jax so protective over her after their day at the village festival, whatever Pomni had told him there was enough for him to guard her with everything he had.

Once the girl was quiet, she pulled away, leaning into the queen’s touch when the latter lifted her hands to Pomni’s face and brushed her tears away. “Are you okay to tell me what wrong my dear?” Queenie asked, as kindly and patiently as she could.

Now Pomni understood how Jax was able to show kindness the way he did. “Is it…is it wrong for me wanting to stay?” Pomni spoke softly, as though a single wrong word would make everything crumble. “I love my family, and I’m so grateful for the hospitality that you’ve given us and I can’t wait to get back on the road again, but...I never had a real home in so long. That isn’t to mean Kaufmo and the others aren’t! They have always been my home. I’m just…I’m so tired of running. I’m tired of not being able to live a normal life and pursue my dreams because of the threat of one man. Your kingdom, that has been a home for me after so long. For the first time in my life I didn’t have to run, I could be safe in the knowledge that I was protected…and Jax. Your son has to be one of the sweetest people I have ever met, despite his reputation. But the thought of leaving here? It already makes me feel homesick thinking about it…I-I’m sorry your majesty I didn’t mean to overload you with all of that!”

Queenie had not spoken a word, letting Pomni take the time she needed in order to let out everything that was tying her down to the ground, like releasing her from being chained to a boulder. Pomni had more pages than the heaviest book in the world, each piece unfolding a new layer of her that made the queen’s heart ache for the girl. “My darling, I am queen of a kingdom where people need to unload on me,” Queenie told her. “It is my job to help those who cannot help themselves. Do not apologise for letting yourself feel. You might not be my subject, but that does not mean I will not take your problems seriously.”

Was this what having a mother was like? She wouldn’t trade Kaufmo for the world, but that never stopped the lingering curiosity of what her own mother would have been like. All she had left of her mother were blurry images in her mind, the powers she shared with her, and her love of music. If her mother was still here would she offer her the same comfort and security that Queenie did for her in only a few short moments? It was times like this, times her soul twinged with sorrow and doubt when she wished that her life was different. That it could be of her own making. She would be in her village, under the care and singing day and night with her mother, only traveling when she wanted to find new places to play her songs, meet the other members of the circus under different circumstances, and fall in love with Jax without having to worry about leaving him.

Why did life choose her to be so cruel to?

“Thank you, your majesty,” Pomni bowed her head in appreciation, “I’m sorry again for such a heavy topic.”

“You must learn to stop saying sorry, dear,” there was a joking tone in Queenie’s voice as she wagged her finger at Pomni, “Otherwise I’ll have to make a rule to ban you from saying it.”

Pomni laughed at that, tears of mirth pricking in the corners of her eyes instead.

Queenie’s eyes smiled, softening as her hands encased the jester’s again, “Not every bad thing that happens is your fault. Please hold onto that information for when you travel again…Pomni, it’s not my place but if you were to stay, we would be more than happy to protect you from Caine.”

Pomni’s face fell, “That’s the thing your majesty. Caine always comes up with new plans, if I stayed he wouldn’t stop terrorizing this kingdom until he gets what he wants, No one is powerful enough to stop him.”

“He managed to get arrested once,” Queenie pointed out, “He can be again.”

“He also managed to escape,” Pomni said, her face saddening once again. “You’d think someone with powers like mine that I could be able to do something. But even now, he still has a hand around my neck. I could be the strongest person alive yet I’d still be too scared to face him. You have…you have no idea what he put us through.” Her heart squeezed, she felt so damn pathetic.

“I don’t know what he’s done, but I do know that you didn’t deserve it,” Queenie told her. “Never feel ashamed for feeling afraid because of what that monster did to you. Do what makes you feel safest my darling, and if you ever want to come back our castle doors are always open.”

Pomni sniffed, a smile brightening her face once again, “Jax is lucky to have you.”

“And he’s lucky to have you too,” the queen teased, humming laughter as the jester started gasping and stuttering. “Now, speaking of Jax. I understand that he asked you to be his plus one for the ball. I hope it’s not inappropriate but I do have something that you could wear. If you don’t already.”

“I-I don’t,” Pomni’s jaw fell a little in surprise at the kind gesture. “You didn’t have to do that your majesty, not for me.”

“Nonsense,” Queenie shook her head, picking up the box from the ground and bringing it over to Pomni’s bed. “Every girl deserves to have something nice for themselves. Besides, I was hoping you would wear this.”

Pomni bit her lip, the queen had a pleading look in her eyes. Whatever was in that box, it was enough to convince the jester that whatever was in it held significant importance to the royal. “Okay, um, I’d like to look at it,” Pomni answered, fidgeting with her hands for a moment.

The queen lit up, like a sun shining in the jester’s direction as the chess piece’s fingers went lift up the lid of the box. As soon as it was removed, Pomni’s breath hitched at the contents on the inside. What laid in the box was nothing short of the twilight sky stitched and sewn together into a ballgown. It was too much, “Your majesty, I can’t have this! Someone like me shouldn’t wear this!”

“Someone like you is perfect for this gown,” Queenie stated. “It was a gift to me in my younger years, from a good friend of mine in another kingdom. She wanted me to wear this, saying that it would be worn when I was with my true love. I never had a chance to wear it, after all Kinger was already courting me and I didn’t feel good enough to wear it. Ironic, I know. However, something tells me that this dress wasn’t meant for me.” She looked away from the gown to face Pomni again. “But perhaps it was for you.”

“I…” Pomni was speechless, truly. The gown that laid in the box looked as though it was worth all the gems in the realm, if she were to wear that, she would literally be wearing that costed millions. Yet the queen believed that it was perfect for her. She had said it so earnestly that Pomni couldn’t find it in herself to turn it away. “Thank you, your majesty,” Pomni bowed, “I promise to take care of it during the ball.”

“As long as you’re having fun as yourself, then that’s all I care about,” the queen told her. “Now, let me help you get ready. I have an idea on what makeup would go well with that gown.”

Pomni giggled as the queen rushing over to her vanity at the other end of the room. Pomni ran her fingers over the gown’s fabric, perhaps she was worth more than what she believed.

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.

Jax pulled at the collar of his shirt. His suit was nowhere near uncomfortable, but it didn’t stop the anxiety coursing through his veins. The suit in question was consisted of a long navy-blue waistcoat, with ruby embroidery along the lapels and cuffs with matching trousers with the same crimson detailed design. Underneath the button coat was a white blouse with a ruffled collar and a pendant on top, with the final addition of his outfit being a red rose tucked into his breast pocket.

Why was he so nervous you ask? It was all because of Pomni. She had yet to arrive, and though the ball hadn’t started yet, both guests and the circus group had already flooded the ballroom. He hadn’t seen any of the nobles yet, well, the nobles that he normally couldn’t stand. When asking his parents about the matter, they had merely shrugged with a mischievous glint in their eyes, yet it told Jax exactly what they did. And they’re still surprised by the fact that I turned out to be a trickster he grinned to himself.

His hands were shaking. What if something happened to her while she was getting ready? What is she hurt herself and wasn’t able to attend? What if Caine somehow managed to get into the castle and swiped her away?! Oh god he had to go get her-!

“Relax prince boy,” a hand grabbed him by the back of his coat, dragging him back before he could run off. He scowled, turning to see who did that, when he came face to face with Gangle and Zooble. The girl he had rudely pushed upon their first meeting, and her justifiably angry partner. “Pomni’s fine, Gangle went to check up on her a while ago.”

“How did you know I was thinking about Pomni?” he questioned, raising a brow.

“Gee, it’s not like you’ve been spending every waking moment glued to her side ever since she came here,” Zooble replied sarcastically, rolling their eyes at the rabbit’s question.

“Zooble,” Gangle hissed, “Be nice, please.” The body of ribbons looked back at him, not as upset as he thought she would be after their interaction when they met. She was wearing a sleeveless gown the same colour as her ribbons, with a full skirt and rubies sewn atop of it. Zooble was wearing a suit of the same colour, no doubt wanting to match his sweet girlfriend. “Pomni will be here soon, your mother kinda overwhelmed her while getting ready.”

The prince sighed. “Of course she did,” he shook his head fondly at Queenie’s direction, the woman was laughing with her husband at whatever joke he had come up with. He looked back to Gangle, who was looking up at Zooble with nothing but love in her eyes, the other doing the same. He hadn’t apologised to her for what he did, yet she still talked to him as though he had only brushed her shoulder on that day. He wouldn’t blame her if she were to be as upset as their hot-headed partner, yet she didn’t. That only made the guilt sting all the more.

She deserved an apology. “Listen, uh, Gangle right?” he asked, making the ribboned lady look up at him with worried eyes. She probably thought that he was going to be mean to her again, it only rubbed more salt into the wound. Jax was sure Zooble was going to kill him right there and then with the way she was glaring at him. He gulped, “Listen, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for how I treated you when we met. It was ignorant and entitled of me to do that to you and how I treated Pomni as well. I genuinely care for your friend and I’m extremely ashamed of how poorly I was to you. I deeply apologize.”

There was shift in the way Gangle looked at him, she didn’t look as worried as she was before, her posture was straighter as she gazed at him with intent in her mind. “Thank you for your apology your highness,” she replied, “Though I’m still not happy with you pushing me, I’m glad you’re able to realise the error of your ways.”

“Of course,” he nodded, “And please, call me Jax. If I’m going to make a fresh start, I would like if you could call me by my name.”

Gangle smiled, a new determination flickering when she saw this new side of the prince, “Very well, thank you Jax.”

“I’m still onto you,” Zooble growled. “But…I’m glad you’re not a total dickhead…you’re still pretty dumb though.”

“Zooble!” Gangle hissed.

A snort escaped from Jax, surprising the couple when a loud belly laugh boomed throughout the ballroom. The laugh lacked any type of maliciousness or was mean-spirited, it was just a hearty yet a pure and honest carefree laugh. “They-” he snickered, “They aren’t wrong! I haven’t had the brightest ideas in my lifetime.”

Both the body of ribbons and the assortment of shapes were a little surprised by the prince’s reaction. They were fairly certain that he would have made some sort of passive aggressive comment or even get angry at Zooble. But no. It was the same sort of laugh that one of them would have whenever Kaufmo told one of his better jokes or when they all had fun as a family. Zooble smirked, “See Gangle, princey doesn’t mind.”

Gangle groaned, rolling her eyes, “What am I gonna do with you?”

“Hmmm, love me forever?” Zooble retorted cheekily, wiggling his eyebrows.

“If I have to,” Gangle couldn’t keep the grin off her face, resting her head onto Zooble’s shoulder.

Jax’s laughter ebbed away, a softness lacing his heart. That tenderness and comfort the couple shared with one another, he couldn’t help but imagine it with him and Pomni. To let her feel safe with him no matter what, to share sweet moments with him with no other prying eyes. But after tonight, she’ll be gone, along with his wish for all of that. All this because of a power-hungry man who kept her in a state of fright ever since childhood, it wasn’t fair for someone as sweet as Pomni.

“Ah, I see the prince has graced our presence,” a soft voice spoke. He looked up to see that it was Ragatha’s voice he had heard, with Sun and Moon by her side and Kaufmo trailing behind her. She looked towards Gangle and Zooble, “He hasn’t given you two any trouble, has he?”

“Quite the opposite, actually,” Zooble said, “He came over to apologise to Gangle.”

Ragatha raised a brow, shifting a little bit in her place, as if this were a small shock to her. “Did he know?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Zooble nodded, what they said next made it look like they were going to hurl just having to form it into words. “I guess I was…wrong about him. Oh god I hated saying that.” 

“Oh,” was all Ragatha said. The doll in question was wearing a backless gown of midnight blue, sleek and sparkling, no puffiness in sight as long skirt trailed behind her. She wore long silky white gloves and half of her curls were pinned up into a bun while the other red locks pooled around her shoulders.

Moon was wearing something similar, though hers was pure black with little stars stitched onto the fabric, with a double leg slit and a feathered scarf around her shoulders. Sun was wearing a red and yellow striped waistcoat and trousers, along with a simple white blouse and a black bowtie wrapped around the collar.

Lastly was Kaufmo, whose waistcoat and trousers were sewn with a fine grey silk with what seemed to be music notes embroidered into the lapels and cuffs. He pulled at the collar a few times, he hadn’t worn something like this before so it was a bit new to him. But he looked happy with his new attire.

“Well,” Ragatha’s voice broke Jax out of his trance again, “I’m glad you weren’t up to anything foolish, after all I still have two very hungry lions.”

“Don’t forget the meat cleaver you have darling,” Moon pointed out, “It would be such a shame to see such a lovely tool go to waste.”

“Uh…and I’m here!” Sun cheered, not wanting to be left out. While it did relieve some of the tension, it didn’t stop Jax from shrinking under the glares of the women.

“While I support your protection over my daughter,” Kaufmo interrupted, placing a hand on Ragatha’s shoulder, “Let’s wait until the prince does anything before charging headfirst. Besides, something tells me that he would want to join in with that protection as well.” The clown gave Jax a knowing wink. “But make no mistake, you hurt her and not even the guards will stop Ragatha and Moon with what they want to do with you.”

Jax gulped, “Understood, sir.” Despite the obvious threat, the fact that he had Kaufmo’s acknowledgement about how much he cared for Pomni made Jax want to sing. The clown trusted the prince, and Jax wasn’t going to let him down. Pomni mattered to him just as much as she mattered to Kaufmo, there was no way he was going to break that trust.

“I’m surprised that little Motley cat isn’t with you,” Sun said, “Other than Pomni, you two are practically glued together.”

Jax was about to open his mouth to say another word, until a small mew interrupted him. The group looked at him with wide eyes, the sound not going unnoticed. The rabbit sighed, reaching into the side of his coat pocket and pulled Motley out, the little kitten wearing a blue bowtie around his neck.

Everyone’s mouth fell open, it was quite the sight indeed.

“This little bugger insisted that he should join me tonight,” Jax defended.

“Right, a non-speaking animal somehow managed to convince you to let him come to the ball,” Zooble drawled with doubt.

Jax frowned, though he didn’t feel mad. So far, everything was going well. The guests were happy, he had Motley in his arms, there were no sign of the nobles, the music was lovely, the food was delicious, his parents were delighted and he had won over the favour of the circus group. All that was missing is-

“-Pomni,” Kaufmo’s eyed widened as he gazed up to the staircase leading out of the ballroom.

The rest of the group followed the clown’s eyes, their own jaws dropping when they say who he was looking at. The rest of the ballroom had gone silent as well, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Jax whipped round, wondering why everyone was reacting the way they did…oh…he understood perfectly now.

Pomni stood at the top of the staircase, the only way to describe how she looked was breathtaking. Her gown was the most beautiful shade of purple, startling at a light pinkish lavender at the top as it faded into an amethyst shade in the middle before finishing in a plum shade at the bottom. Her skirt was full, layered with organza, rippling like raindrops on a pond. The top of the gown had off-the-shoulder sleeves with a sweetheart neckline, with glistening gem at the centrepiece. And the whole gown twinkled with little diamonds stitched into the fabric. She wore simple makeup, with her normally short hair curled and now reaching her shoulder as it gleamed under the chandeliers.

She clenched her hands, there were so many eyes on her. She didn’t have the façade of her jester persona to help her out, it was only her they were all looking at. Gathering herself, she managed a small curtsey, the shimmering layers of her skirt pooling around her. She stood again, her gown swishing as she made her way down the steps.

Jax couldn’t wipe the awestruck grin he had on his face even if he tried. Not even the stars could compare with how beautiful she looked. He handed Motley over to Kaufmo, “Sir, if you may. Could I please lead your daughter for the first dance?”

Kaufmo smiled, running his hand over the kitten’s back as he purred, “Go on, give her a dream come true.”

Not wasting a beat, Jax turned back to Pomni. He wasn’t sure if he saw him yet, so ever so slowly, he made his way towards her, the rest of the guests parting to let him through.

They had done the same with Pomni, giving her the room she needed yet not being able to take their eyes off her. A little part of her liked the attention, they weren’t drawn to her for powers or the act she had to put on, they were drawn to her for simply being her. This new feeling was strange, but nice…really nice.

She let out a small gasp when she finally saw Jax, how handsome he looked in his garments and how he looked at her as though she were the only person in the room. Her heart fluttered seeing him, making her way towards him as he did the same. Finally they met in the middle of the room, the only ones in the middle of the ballroom floor, their eyes locked onto one another.

“Prince Jax,” she breathed.

“My lady,” his voice held nothing but adoration for her. “You look absolutely exquisite.”

“I’ve been praying all day not to trip in this,” she whispered, “I think I would perish if I ruined something as lovely as this.”

  “That would be a shame, you look too beautiful in it,” Jax murmured, “Um. Pomni, would you do me the honour of letting me lead you through this first…” he trailed off. Could you blame him? She was positively stunning.

“…Dance?” she finished for him, a small grin forming on her lips.

“Uh, yes of course, dance,” he stuttered, laughing awkwardly.

Pomni took pity on him, nodding excitedly. Call her childish, but it was nothing short of magical that she actually got to dance like the princesses she read about in fairytales.

Jax’s face fell, a serious look took over yet his eyes were still soft as he brought his hand forward, pulling Pomni closer to him. The girl’s breath hitched, with these newfound feelings she had for Jax, it made this touch all the more significant. A shiver ran down her spine.

The music of the orchestra began, filling the ballroom with the sounds of the many violinists and pianists’ instruments, a soft yet heavenly tune echoing in the room. Ever so gently, Jax began to sway, with Pomni repeating his movements. Pomni gulped as he led her further into the dance, she could feel everyone’s stares despite having her back to them. Who wouldn’t? After all, she was the prince’s choice to lead the first dance with. “They’re all looking at you,” she whispered.

“Believe me,” he grinned, “They’re all looking at you.”

Normally she would have panicked at that sentence, but the gentle grasp of his warm hand on her waist kept her attention on him. He picked up her forearm with his, letting it glide up and down, “Just focus on me, okay? And follow my lead.”

Pomni nodded, her once quickening heart slowing down as she gazed into his eyes. He took her hand, carefully spinning her before she held she gently grazed the knuckles of said hand against his cheek. He threaded his fingers through her, spinning her again as the skirts of her gown fluttered around her, giving her the appearance of a butterfly.

The repeated the range of movements a few more times before Jax wrapped his arm around her waist again, pulling her closer than he did before, their noses inches from each other as he clasped his free hand into hers again. Pomni’s breath stuttered as their feet travelled around the empty space, never in her life had she felt anything so surreal, so euphoric in all her life. A carefree laugh escaped her lips as both she and Jax spun again, the prince doing the same as the picture of her lovely smile imprinted into his mind again.

He released the grip on her waist to twirl her onto the empty space on the floor, the rest of the crowd aweing at the way her gown glittered each time she spun left and right while holding onto Jax’s hand.

Not even the rest of the circus troupe could erase the butterflies they were having just by the way the prince and the jester looked at one another. It was right out of a love story. “I can’t disagree, they would make a beautiful couple,” Kaufmo remarked, with Motley letting out an agreeable mew in his arms.

“I suppose so,” Ragatha nodded, “As long as he doesn’t hurt her.”

“Don’t worry my dears, rest assured that my son would never do the following,” Queenie told them as she and Kinger snuck up behind the group.

“Your majesties,” Ragatha gasped, the rest of them quickly bowing, “Please forgive me for saying that.”

“Oh that’s alright,” Queenie snickered, “Jax has caused one too many incidents to have a reputation that’s worth your worry.”

“Though I will say, your Pomni has him wrapped around her finger,” Kinger mused as he watched the due dancing on the floor. “I haven’t seen this side of my son in so long, until your daughter arrived Kaufmo.”

“Pomni has always found a way to bright the best out in others,” Kaufmo told them, “Whether they know she’s doing it or not.”

Kinger hummed in agreement, “I can confidently say that without a doubt, this is the best ball this kingdom has ever seen.” Kaufmo nodded, the two fathers turning to look back at their children, smiling at seeing how happy they were together.

Jax had twirled Pomni a few times, still holding her by the waist until he picked her up in both arms and held her high up above him, twirling her in the air as the crowd oo’ed and clapped for the sudden display. Though it was silent compared to the chimes of her giggles at the sudden motions, bringing her back down to face level. Neither of them could stop glancing at each other’s lips, the temptation to swoop down and capture them growing stronger.

Before he could give into it, he saved himself by dipping Pomni once more time as the music slowed. It was for the best, she would be leaving tomorrow. He didn’t want to sour things more for her, not when they had come so far. He could tell by the way she was looking at him that she was silently agreeing, what they had right now was good, good enough in fact.

The music slowed to a stop, with Pomni curtsying and Jax bowing respectively as the crowd thunder into applause. The first dance of the night was a success.

They allowed themselves to breathe for a movement, unable to take their eyes off each other before the music started up again, more fun and livelier than the last. More couples ran onto the floor, including the king and queen as they chortled together while reminiscing how they used to dance when they were younger. Gangle had pulled Zooble onto the floor, squealing with excitement at the thought of dancing with her partner. Even Moon and Ragatha had decided to dance together, the latter shocked when her friend took her hand and led her into a dance.

Pomni and Jax were still together, and quite frankly, they didn’t see themselves dancing with anyone but with one another. And so, they danced again. And again, and again, and again…

After a few songs, they did have to stop eventually, panting heavily and needing food as well as drink. “I must say, you dance pretty good for someone so short,” Jax snickered, handing her a glass of water.

“Shut up, I’m just glad you didn’t stand on my dress,” Pomni retorted, giggling into her glass. She gulped down as much as she could, especially with what she was planning to do next. “Do you mind waiting for a second? There’s something I need to take care of.”

“Oh, of course, is everything alright?” he asked as she handed him back her glass.

“Yes, everything’s fine,” she reassured him, “There’s just something that I need to do.”

“Well, whatever it is, you take care of yourself,” He told her, “Alright?”

Pomni nodded, patting his hand reassuringly before disappearing into the crowd, Jax sighing fondly as he watched her walk away. He nearly jumped when he felt something rub against his leg, looking and scoffing when he saw that it was Motley. “Of course it’s you, you little shit,” he muttered, scooping up the kitten with one hand, “Alright, you had your fun. Now you’re in time out.”

“Well I must say,” Jax turned when he heard his mother’s voice, “I think this is the most you two haven’t been able to keep your hands off one another.”

“Mom!” he groaned, his ears flopping down and pressing against the back of his head as his cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

“What? I’m just making an observation,” she shrugged, “It does make sense though, with her leaving tomorrow.”

His ears perked back up at the mention of that, his tail twitching in discomfort. Although that statement would ring true every time he heard it, it didn’t mean he liked it. He wanted to get on his knees, beg Pomni to stay with him, stay in the kingdom where she would never worry about feeling afraid ever again. But he knew that it wouldn’t be fair for either of them. He knew as much as she wanted the freedom of her own life, the freedom of this choice was all she could have. And he didn’t want to make her feel guilty about having to travel again. Even if it meant she would be further away from him.

“I…I really love her mother,” he said, earnestly and honestly. “I have become an ocean and Pomni is a storm, raining down on me strongly without resistance, but my waters are able to take her strengths, faults, everything. But I know that…I can’t have her.”

Queenie’s face fell, her son had never looked so vulnerable in that moment. It reminded her how she felt when she fell in love with Kinger when she was her son’s age. “Oh darling,” she murmured, cupping his cheek in her hand. Even Motley had climbed up onto the prince’s shoulder, rubbing his fluffy face against Jax’s face to comfort him.

The queen was going to say another word when a single strum of a guitar made the room go silent. Both the queen and prince turned, for on the stage with the rest of the musicians was Pomni, holding onto her guitar as she looked out onto the crowd. She looked positively petrified, there were more people here than there was at the festival, the confidence slipping as doubt crept into her mind.

But when her eyes caught Jax’s, and as he smiled at her with the upmost reassurance, the doubt started to melt. She could do this, taking a breath as she faced her new audience, “This is a song that I wrote during my stay here. It’s a little bit different than what I’ve written before but I hope you all enjoy.” Her fingers pricked at the strings of her guitar before her voice rang like a bell as she began to sing.

Honey, I hate wine

But I’d gladly down a bottle of your name

Just to get another taste of you

A single drop not on my tongue would be a waste

The audience seemed to be enjoying so far, leaning next to their partners or spouses as Pomni continued to sing.

And I hate mornings

But I like waking next to you

You always wake up before I do

So I can sleep in your embrace

We burn like gentle firewood

We yearn like vines and leaves

And we settle in the comfort of

The bones that rest beneath

And I’d start drinking wine and sleeping at night

To keep your soul with mine

I’d do anything, anything, anything

Anything, anything, anything

Pomni could hear the distant murmurs in the crowd, murmurs of praise and how much they enjoyed her simple song. Her heart nearly skipped a beat form excitement as the rest of her doubts faded away. People liked her songs, people liked her. Her songs meant something!

Honey, I hate travel

But I’d man a boat to glimpse you at the shore

No stretch of miles would ever mean more

Than feeling my hands wrapped around your waist

And I hate time

The minutes shared will never last enough

No amount of time will ever be too much

And parting leaves a bitter taste

At that last word, Pomni turned her attention to Jax, who was patting the side off his leg at each beat of the song. She thought she would hate him, she despised him when hearing about all the rumours that built over the years. But now, nothing tasted as sour than the idea of leaving him tomorrow.

We burn like gentle firewood

We yearn like vines and leaves

And we settle in the comfort of

The bones that rest beneath

And I’d stop staying home and wasting time

To keep your soul with mine

I’d do anything, anything, anything

Anything, anything, anything

She would. She would do anything to change the fate that life had given them. She wanted to have that choice to stay. Jax’s eyes never left hers, not even more a second as he smiled with all the warmth he could muster. If this was truly their last night together, she was going to make it count.

And I love rain

But I’d ruin every cashmere coat I own

Before I let it wash off any kiss you stole

So they’ll keep us dry as I walk you home

We burn like gentle firewood

We yearn like vines and leaves

And we settle in the comfort of

The bones that rest beneath

And I’d lose every penny that I find

To keep your soul with mine

I’d do anything, anything, anything

Anything, anything, anything

With that final strum of her guitar, she finished her song. There was a beat, it felt like years to Pomni as she waited to hear the crowd’s final thoughts on her song. Suddenly, the audience erupted into applause, grins nearly splitting their faces.

She let out a sigh of relief, they really did like it. She placed her guitar backstage as she walked away, letting the band strike up again. She strolled towards Jax, determination set in her mind, she meant it when she said she was going to make this night count. “Another dance your highness?” she asked when she got close to him, holding out her hand, “Or are you afraid I’ll look better than you?”

Jax took her hand into his, his smile matching hers, “Little lady, you could trip and you would still look better than me.”

Pomni hummed, “You’re right, I would.”

They snickered as they want back to the dance floor, dancing the night away until the ball came to an end. It was the most magical thing Pomni had done without her powers.

.

.

.

Jax groaned as he sat up in his bed. He had been trying to get to sleep for the past few hours, but he could still feel the tingles of where Pomni’s hands had been on him while dancing. That night was going to be burned in his brain for the rest of his life. He wished she was here right now, to hold her while she ran her fingers through his ears, his fur, wherever she wanted as long as he felt that simple lingering touch.

The prince sighed, shifting as he reached his hand to find Motley, onto to find that the feline was nowhere to be found on the bed. Don’t tell me that little cretin went back down to go ham on those leftovers. He threw the sheets off his bed, ready to exit the room when there were three soft knocks on his door.

Strange, the servants didn’t use that knock and neither did his parents. He opened the door, it was Pomni holding a purring Motley. “I, um, thought I’d return him,” she spoke quietly, her voice breaking slightly, “He woke me up.”

Jax didn’t take him just yet instead leaning in slightly closer to inspect Pomni’s face. His heart plummeted when he saw dried tear stains on her cheeks, “Have you been crying?”

“W-what?” Pomni stammered, “N-no, of course not! I-it’s probably-”

“Pomni,” he spoke sternly, “I know when someone had been crying, I’m not that dumb. Please, tell me what’s wrong.”

She took a breath, walking into his room as Jax shut the door behind him. She sat on the edge of his bed, the prince sitting next to her as she cuddled Motley closer. “I sometimes have really bad nightmares,” she told him. “Well, I’ve always had them but they got worse when we escaped Caine and he came after us. Some of them are about ways on how he’d find us and how he’d make us suffer, others are…well, memories of growing up in the circus…”

Jax brows furrowed as the girl curled in on herself, making her seem smaller than usual, “And I’m guessing you had one now?”

She sniffed, nodding her head as Motley pushed his face into her neck, purring as much as he could to give comfort to the girl. Jax brought her into his arms, she let out a surprised squeak as he rubbed a hand up and down her back. “It’s okay, you’re safe here,” he told her, “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I know,” she whimpered, easing into his touch, “But I won’t be here tomorrow. And I know no one has seen Caine, but it doesn’t stop the fact that he’s still out there looking for us…looking for me.”

Jax wanted to kick himself for saying that. Why her? Why did the universe make her go through the hardest trails life had to offer? It wasn’t fair. “I know what you’re going to say if I asked you,” he ran his fingers through her hair, “But I wished in another life, you could stay.”

“Jax, I…I wish I could too,” she cried, burying her face in his chest.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that. But, just for tonight, stay…with me?” She peered up at him through her lashes, his fingers wiping her tears away. “For one night, please…be mine?”

She wrapped her hand around his, bringing it up to her face to cup her cheek, “I am yours, as you are mine.”

“For you Pomni,” he mumbled, carrying her over to the middle of his bed and laying her down, “Always.”

That night, they slept in each other’s arms. That night, they pretended tomorrow didn’t exist. That night, they weren’t Prince of Laphria or jester of the traveling circus. That night they were Pomni and Jax, two people in love.

.

.

.

Kaufmo let out a grunt as he closed the door of the trunk connected to the circus carriage, “I think that’s everything.”

“I’ll say,” Zooble whistled, “I feel like we have more than we did at the last place.”

“Well we were here longer than we have been in other places,” Pomni pointed out.

The circus troupe was outside the palace doors, finally ready to leave. The king and queen had guards to travel with them to their next location, to make sure they would have the extra protection they needed in case Caine was nearby. It had been a wonderful dream here, but like all dreams, it had to end.

Pomni was wearing the same dress she wore when she first came to the kingdom, her simple blouse, corset and pink skirt. She gave the palace one more look, out of all the places she had been to, this one was her favourite. And now she had to leave.

“The king, queen and prince had already given us our goodbyes,” said Ragatha, holding onto Moon’s hand. “Our we ready to go?”

Kaufmo looked to his daughter, “What do you say kiddo? Ready to go?”

Pomni sighed as she turned to her father, he frowned as he saw her downed expression. He hated seeing her like that. She was going to open her mouth to speak when-

“-Pomni!” Jax, it was Jax. She whipped round and saw the prince running out the palace doors and towards her.

“Jax? What’s wrong?” she asked, running over to him.

“I know we already said our goodbye inside,” he explained, “But I needed to do one more thing before you leave.”

Pomni nodded, looking back at the rest of her family, “I’ll be a minute, you finish packing.” The rest of the circus gave each other knowing looks, doing as they were told when Pomni gave them a glare. When they went back to packing, she turned back to Jax, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” his voice sounded nervous, “I just…I want you to have Motley.”

She gasped as she looked at the kitten held in Jax’s arms, the little feline already jumping into hers, “Me? Why?”

“Little monster likes you better than me, traitor,” he frowned at Motley.

Pomni stifled a laugh, “He’s a sweetheart, admit it. Plus, he loves you too. I can’t separate you too.”

“Hey, I’ll be okay,” Jax told her, “Besides, it’s better if he goes with you, to let him be a reminder of this place and…of me.”

Her breath was caught in her throat at those words, nothing could ever make her forget all that he had done for her. “Are you sure?” Pomni asked, scratching behind Motley’s ears.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he bent his knees to be eye level with the kitten. “Listen here bud, you’ve got an important mission. In case Pomni gets into trouble, I want you to protect her. If you need backup, you know where to find me. Understand?”

Mew

Motley lifted his paw, it hit Jax directly on the nose.

“Good,” Jax straightened his back, “So I guess this is my final goodbye.”

Pomni bit her lip, reaching up to kiss Jax’s cheek one last time, “Thank you for reminding me how magical life can be.”

Jax’s breath hitched. He could barely recover from her hands, how could he recover from her lips?! She gave him a tiny grin, that jester was going to be the death of him, “You’re welcome Pomni.”

With that, she curtsied once more before running back to the carriage and hopping inside. There was a call from Kaufmo upfront as he pulled on the reins connected to the horses on front, giving them the command to walk as the guards followed on their own horses.

Jax watched as the carriage was pulled further away from him. And further, and further, and further. Then, it was gone. Pomni was gone.

He sighed, lifting his feet and going back into the castle. He didn’t retreat to his room or to his studies though. In fact, hours after the circus had left, he had been pacing back in forth in the throne room, his arms crossed behind his back while the prince was deep in thought. It caused the staff to alert the king and queen at once, leaving the royals to watch their son as he continued to pace.

“Oh the poor boy,” Queenie cooed as she peered through the crack of the door, “Pomni must have left quite the impact.”

“Tell me about it,” Kinger agreed, “I’m fairly certain that his brain has never worked that hard in its life.”

“Shush,” Queenie whacked him lightly on the shoulder, “This is a good thing. It’s not the bad type of thinking he’s having.”

“Then what exactly is on his mind then?” Kinger titled his head to the side.

“Well there’s only one way to find out,” she took her husband’s hand leading him into the throne room. Jax didn’t even notice them come in, still pacing back and forth as his mind kept storming. “What are you thinking about darling?”

The prince let out a yelp, jumping a few feet before facing his parents with a hand to his heart, “You have to stop sneaking up on me like that!”

“I apologise, but you’ve been so caught up in your head for the past few hours,” Queenie told him, her brows furrowing with concern, “We were worried.”

“Please,” Kinger went up to his son, placing a hand on his shoulder, “Tell us what’s on your mind.”

“Well I…,” Jax sighed, clenching and opening his fists, feeling slightly anxious for what he was going to say next. He hadn’t said or done anything that he was thinking about right now, only hoping that it was the right thing to say and do. “I’ve been having a lot of perspective for the past few weeks, about my place in the world and my role as prince. Even since I was young, I was told that I didn’t belong, that I never deserved my title and I started to believe it. I pitied myself for so long that it blinded me to the potential that I had for myself and for the people of my kingdom. When Pomni came into my life, it opened my eyes to see how fortunate I actually am and what I can be able to do. Knowing what she went through, it made me realise just how privileged and lucky I am, and how I’m able to use my power do help people like her. The nobles were wrong about me, wrong about my dreams being too childish, there is nothing childish about wanting better in this kingdom.”

He took a deep breath before continuing, “That’s why I wanna open a home, a home for people who need to seek shelter if they don’t have it, whether they are from our kingdom or somewhere else. To protect them and give them a life until they can stand on their feet again. I want to give them the safety and security that they were denied. I know that I’m able to do this, I want to do this. I am worth the title of Prince and Heir of Laphria.”

Both Queenie and Kinger were speechless, never before had they heard their son speak with the most graceful confidence. This wasn’t like the times when he spoke with arrogance, no, nothing that he had said held no vanity or selfishness. For the first time, he was speaking like a true prince. “That’s a wonderful idea Jax,” Kinger beamed, sharing a pleased look with his wife, “And you doubted that you’d be a good king.”

“Look at my baby growing up,” Queenie cupped his cheeks in her hands, pressing little kisses to his forehead and cheeks as the rabbit flushed.

“M-mom!” he tried not to grin at the attention, but his wagging tail gave him away.

Mew

He froze at a familiar meow, facing the window when he heard something scratching at it. There was a small little blob on the other side, is that? Jax opened the window, Motley immediately jumping into his arms. “Woah, woah buddy what are you doing here?” he checked him over, his front little paw was bruised as the poor thing was shaking, “What happened?”

The doors of the throne room slammed open, two guards panting and bleeding as they staggered through. “Oh goodness! Someone assist them and get them some water!” Queenie demanded to the nearby maids, the royals and servants rushing over to them. They were led to one of the nearby sitting rooms, urged to sit down and drink until they could get their energy back to speak. One of the servants had brought an ice pack for Motley, Jax immediately took it and held it to his paw while another servant wrapped his paw.

“Easy buddy,” he whispered to the kitten, still trembling in fear. “You’re okay.”

“Don’t force yourself,” Kinger instructed when one of the guards tried to begin speaking, “Tell us what happened at your own pace.”

“We…ugh…we were leading the circus through the forest, there was no sign of danger so far,” the guard began to describe the scene. “But they appeared out of nowhere. We tried to fight back but they were too strong, as though they were having some assistance.”

“What are you talking about? Who attacked you?” Jax was starting to panic. The circus had been promised safe travel and if anything happened to them…he didn’t want to imagine it.

“Caine,” the guard continued, “He and his men jumped out and attacked us. We had the upper hand but then there was this red mist and…” he trailed off, his pupils shrinking as he remembered the horrors of what his mind had deceived him with.

“Easy, easy,” the queen soothed him. “The circus, are they alright?”

“We don’t know,” the second guard spoke up, “We were lucky enough to escape to come back and warn you, but…”

“But? But what?!” Jax raised his voice, he didn’t mean to but fear was rushing through is veins. If anything happened to-

“Pomni,” the guard said, making Jax’s heart stop. “Before we escaped, Caine took Pomni.”

Song Credit: Anything, Anything, Anything by Madds Buckley

[etherealzx]

Maybe just my own little thought here:

But I feel like Giorno would be somewhat overwhelmed with the task of a Don (he's 15. And the tasks are pretty complicated, aside from him loosing comrades/ friends as well). Could you write Giorno venting to his gn! S/O or friend about it?

ooohhh yes! i couldn't even imagine doing what giorno has done at 15, hell i'm almost 20 and i couldn't even do that shit now 🥲 (also side note, this takes place about a year after golden wind ends)

Don!Giorno Venting to his GN!S/O

You had been dating the Don for almost a year now. He was only 16 years old, yet had such a huge weight on his shoulders. You knew that he loved what he did, and was very proud of it, as he should be. He had worked so hard and endured so much to make it to where he is now. It was incredible, really, to see someone so young have so much resolve and determination. That's what first drove you to him.

One particular night after the two of you had come home from a nice dinner in the city, Giorno was being especially quiet. All night at dinner he had been quiet as well, more than he usually was. He tried his hardest to act normal towards you, placing small kisses on your hand and flashing small smiles your way. But you knew him better than anyone, and knew he just wasn't being himself. He sat on the large velvet couch next to the open balcony doors, staring silently out into the night. The pale moonlight illuminated his golden locks and fair skin, giving him an almost angelic glow.

You walked up behind the couch, reaching over the top to wrap your arms around his shoulders. He smelled like lavender and expensive cologne. "What's on your mind, amore?" You asked gently, face pressed into the soft skin of his neck.

"Nothing much, just admiring the beautiful night," He said quietly. He hated for you to worry, and constantly tried to keep his feelings to himself as not to upset you. However you always saw right through him. Giorno was an emotional person, but wasn't always the best at expressing them.

"Giorno," you said gently, walking around the couch to sit beside him. You grabbed his hands and locked your fingers with his. "You know you can tell me if something's bothering you."

He turned to face you, his emerald eyes meeting yours. He took a deep breath in, slowly letting it back out. "I know I've worked so hard to get to where I am now, and I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of where I am now and the changes I've been making to the organization," he started. "But I just can't help but feel a little overwhelmed. I'm in charge of so many people's livelihoods. I have to make sure all of my men are taken care of and able to provide for their own families. One slip up by me and everything goes South."

"But Giorno," you said, grabbing his hands tighter. "You're doing so great. You're doing everything that's expected of you and more. You always go above and beyond to put others above yourself, without worrying about your own needs. You have to take some time for yourself, and take care of you baby."

He smiled softly and pulled your hand up to his lips to place a soft kiss on your knuckles. "I've also been really missing the others lately." He said softly. You felt a twinge of pain in your heart because you knew exactly who he was talking about, without him even having to go into detail. "It's times like these when I really wish Bucciarati was here to give me advice. He's the reason I was even able to get to this point, I just wish he could point me in the right direction,"

"Giorno, Bucciarati would be so incredibly proud of the man you've become. The changes you're making are exactly what he would be doing if he were here. If there is an afterlife, he's watching down on you right now and smiling with the others." You knew that nothing you could say would bring them back, but your words would hopefully bring him some comfort.

He smiled, grabbing your arm and pulling you into a hug. He kissed the top of your head gently, holding you against his warm chest. You could feel warm tear drops falling into your hair. He held you against him, looking off into the moonlit streets outside.

"I promise I'll do right by them. I have to do this for them, and all of the people in my city. I have to do this for you, for me, for us. I promise to restore virtue and honor to this organization." He said proudly, holding you to his chest. Your heart swelled. You loved hearing him talk about his dreams, and how determined he was. You knew deep down that if Giorno wanted something done, he did it. You were excited to see what the future held for the two of you going forward.

[bsd-elle]

Thoughts on Buddy Daddies Episode 10

Too many thoughts, in a way I haven't felt in a long time.

I expected angst, but I didn't think they would proceed the way they did with this episode.

Bringing back Miri's mom to trigger doubt in their relationship was so heartbreaking.

Because you can tell so much about all three of them.

Kazuki even calls her out, that her intention is all about herself.

Whereas both Rei and Kazuki, throughout their discussion put their sole focus on Miri and her opinion and her happiness.

In fact, I'm sure Kazuki understood her mom more than ever.

Him loosing his family and trying to build a family now, it could've very easily been a method for him to gain self validation and just validation in general, but not once, throughout the series has he EVER projected his trauma onto Miri, but rather it pushes him to do better for her.

Both of them care so deeply for her, that they never brought themselves into the conversation, 'we took care of her for a year', 'we're here for her', nothing.

From the jump it was, Miri's happiness is our main priority.

And that's why, Kazuki was so adamant on not giving way to her decision, which is when their occupation comes into play.

On paper, not an ideal situation, two hitmen whose lives are constantly in danger, raising a child... I understand her perspective, but it's malicious that she used the only tactic she could to plant the seed of uncertainty in their minds.

Which brings us to their conversation with Kyuu.

They realised the depth of the circumstances of their jobs, but I think the 'dream' like state they were in, this haze, almost shielded them from even considering reality.

Because what would they do when Miri finds out about her real father, about their jobs, that she's in danger, grave danger, all because of them.

And that is the only reason Kazuki changes his mind.

He must've been struggling internally, to give Miri back to her mom would be tough on a kid, and who knows how she would raise Miri.

But he safety and happiness comes first.

He tries to convince himself that they wouldn't want to carry on with any regrets.

And they spend the day like normal, both of them fawning over Miri.

And we see the pure anguish on Kazuki's face as he realises the impact Miri has had on him, the changes she has brought, and how it would soon leave.

He understands the consequences of his original decision to take care of Miri.

And although it has significantly improved all of their lives, he still wants her to be happy, even without them.

He brings up the cat, and reminds us that he still remembers it even after a year, because that's the value he places on other living creatures, on life, and he doesn't take that for granted.

Kazuki planned the entire day for them to spend together, strategically including games and rock climbing so even Rei could get involved, because this was potentially the last time they could spend together. And he understood that Rei might not openly express his pain and suffering, and pushed them to spend time together, to, like he said, have no more regrets.

The way Kazuki was hovering over Miri's every move, I really can't imagine how it would be now, for him to silently worry over Miri without ever being close to her.

Miri has both of them completely wrapped around her little fingers, and they totally realize that their lives will never really be the same again.

And what's so painful about it is that you can tell how much Miri has changed both of them in such a drastic manner.

When Kazuki began to spiral in his thoughts, Rei was the one who said, hey, let's just have fun today.

Both of them have become support pieces to each others lives through Miri, and I truly hope they realize that that would never change.

Rei and Kazuki's conversation in the Ferris wheel was so beautiful. Because they both understand that their lives have changed for the better since Miri came into their lives, but unfortunately, they haven't changed, and they don't have an option to change.

They are constantly tied to their jobs and can't escape from that world, and the only way to ensure Miri's happiness is to let her get away from that world.

From their world.

Miri was their beacon of light through the darkness, and a Mirage of what could've been, but no matter what, it could never actually be this way.

They are a happy, little family, but unfortunately, dreams are a little too misty to see through it.

And the Ferris wheel is the perfect metaphor for that, it's their own little world, isolated from their pasts, their traumas, and everything that ties them to the real world.

Their in their own cocoon of love, comfort and happiness, and once they reach the high of it, they understand that that's the highest things can go, this is the most amount of happiness and comfort they can ever recieve and eventually they have to come down their high, to touch back to the real world, and give up their happiness, give up Miri, for her to grasp to her normal happiness, something that she deserves, something they will never be able to grasp.

And aahh... When Kazuki runs back to tie his scarf around her, to ensure that she wouldn't catch a cold, because this was his daughter, someone he cared about more than he could ever think of, more than he could've ever imagined he was capable of.

The parallel to the time he went back to take care of the cat, still tied to every person he was forced to abandon.

Rei and Kazuki have the discussion of 'changes', and although it's evident that both of them have changed and progressed drastically, the environment and the circumstances around them haven't, and giving up Miri was the ultimate sacrifice and sign of that.

(few things to note:

Miri never told her mom that she would rather stay with her than her Papas, she just said that she loves both of them.

Miri has a car seat in the car, and something about that makes me so🥺.

Although the angst is STRONG, in the episode, and I'm lousy at making predictions, I think Miri will definitely be upset and demand to see her papas again, which ugh... How could you let a four year old go through all of this.

It makes sense that this was the route they opted for, because imo, the pain they must feel to intentionally give up Miri must be so much more heartwrenching than actually loosing her.

But I'm still praying for them to actually betray the Agency.. I'm betting on that🤞).

[lucy90712]

Hii, can you please write a Pedri imagine where yn is really stressed because of uni and Pedri has been feeling unloved so they end up fighting but in the end make up???

wc: 2300+

Being in my last year of university has been so much harder than I ever imagine it would have been. It has been constant studying and exams the entire year and now that the end is in sight it's only ramping up even more. The last week I've barely left my desk as I have some really important exams coming up which I need to do well on to get a good degree. Having to study so much has been tiring and I miss having a normal routine but I mostly miss spending time with my boyfriend Pedri. 

I have felt so awful because every day when Pedri gets home he comes to spend time with me and every time I brush him off and only see him again when I get into bed after he's already fallen asleep. Shutting him out is the wrong thing to do and I know that but I really need to concentrate and I know I'll never go back to studying if I start spending time with him. Not being able to talk to him about training or watch his matches has been difficult but I've stayed strong and have kept focused on studying no matter how boring it gets. 

Today has been the worst day as nothing has gone right I just haven't been able to take in any information and I've just been really frustrated with everything. All of this isn't helped by the fact that I barely slept last night as I was worrying about my first exam which is in just two days now. I have always been that person that gets overly anxious about exams even when they don't mean anything so when an exam is really important I'm just a constant ball of nerves. Just as I was actually getting into studying and starting to understand the content I heard the front door open and close meaning Pedri was home. I love Pedri so much but I was kind of hoping that he wouldn't come in to see me as I don't want to be distracted but of course a few seconds later he came in and stood in the doorway. To be kind I looked and and smiled at him before going back to making notes but as soon as I did I heard him sigh. 

"Is everything ok?" I asked while still writing 

"Not really no I've miss you you are always in here studying all day and I don't see you at all" he said 

"I'm sorry Pedri I wish I could spend more time with you but these exams are really important and I need to do well" I said 

"I know but I barely see you for a minute every day it's like you're not here" he said 

"I'm sorry why don't you come and sit with me so we can be together" I suggested 

That was all it took for him to get another chair to pull up next to mine which seemed to make him happier. Right away he tried asking me questions about what I was doing which is why I've wanted to be left alone as he just distracts me but I answered his questions anyway while trying to keep focused. He kept talking about everything that's happened in the last week which I wanted to listen to but I was trying to block him out as I noticed my mind drifting from studying and luckily he didn't seem to notice as I know it would upset him if I wasn't listening. We sat together for a while with him just talking before he started to put an arm around my waist which was fine until he tried to move me closer to him. When he did that I gently moved his arm off me and moved my chair back to its original position which was a bit further away from him. 

He left me alone for a while before moving closer again grabbing hold of my arm that wasn't writing to hold my hand and then rested his head on my shoulder. It was annoying but I let it happen until he started to press kisses to my neck and jaw which usually I love but today I just wanted to be left alone. I let him do it for a while before I realised that I hadn't written anything since he started kissing me. It pained me but I had to move away slightly which meant his lips detached from my neck and I took my hand back to turn the page on my textbook. As soon as I did that he got up and went to leave but he stopped in the doorway again to look back at me. 

"I would say I'll see you later but I know I won't see your for another few weeks" he said 

"Pedri wait I'm sorry it's just this is really important" I said feeling bad 

"I know it's important but so is our relationship y/n I'm starting to think you don't really care about me" he said 

"Don't be like this you know I care about you I'm just busy it's not like you spend loads of time with me either I mean you didn't exactly make an effort during the World Cup" I bit back 

"That was different I was playing in the biggest football maybe even sports tournament" he said 

"Just because you play football doesn't mean you are more important than me my exams are a big deal to me and you should be supportive because I always support everything you do even when it impacts me" I argued 

"I am so supportive of you don't even start this" he said 

"Then just leave that way I can't start anything" I said sarcastically 

"I was going to leave anyway" he replied while slamming the door 

As soon as the door shut my head hit the desk and tears started to fall down my cheeks at a rapid pace. I never wanted to argue with Pedri nor did I mean to push him away and make him feel like I don't care about him. The things I said were swirling around my head as I scolded myself for even thinking them let alone saying them out loud. I know Pedri is supportive of whatever I do and he tried his best to talk to me as much as possible during the World Cup but I just had to get back at him somehow as I know I'm in the wrong. His comment about not seeing me for another few weeks hit me hard as it made me realise that when I’ve been struggling to sleep or focus on studying it isn't because I'm worried about exams it's because I miss spending time with Pedri and having a break each day. 

After crying for a while I made myself stop and get back to studying for a bit because I know Pedri won't want to talk to me so I might as well make use of the time until he'll have calmed down. When I picked up my pen I tried to read through the textbook in front of my but all the words became jumbled and the tears started to leave my eyes yet again. I just didn't want to study anymore I wanted to make it up to Pedri as he's more important to me than some stupid exam. One bad grade won't kill me but losing Pedri might so I put away all of my things and left to go and find Pedri. 

Pedri's POV

The second I slammed the door I regretted it I don't know what came over me but I started a stupid unnecessary argument and now I've made the both of us upset. I feel awful as y/n has been working non stop studying for her exams which are coming up and I know they are really important to her which is why she's been working so hard but I had to go and make her feel bad about it. Everyday she has shut herself away and spent every waking minute looking at textbooks or materials online which has annoyed me as I barely see her at all every day but thinking about it more I realise that she wouldn't do that unless she had to as no one wants to spend their life that way. 

I'm such an awful boyfriend instead of just being there to support her and help her realise that she needs some time to relax I started an argument instead. She's probably so stressed already with her exams and I've probably made it 10x worse by making her think I'm mad at her when really I'm not I just miss her. I'm used to coming home from training and being greeted at the door and getting to snuggle with her in bed at the end of the day so not doing that has affected me more than I thought it would and I'm just aching to have her next to me again but now I've made her feel awful. The things that keeps going through my mind is what she said about the effort I made while away for the World Cup because she's right sure I was busy with matches and training but there is time I could've spent calling her but instead I went out with the team while she sat and waited to hear from me. 

After thinking for a while I couldn't just sit there anymore I had to go and apologise to y/n and try and make it up to her for being such an awful boyfriend. Before going to apologise I ordered her favourite desert so that I could give it to her to help her studying and also say sorry. Once the order went through I got up and went back to y/n's office but before I could open the door I heard sniffling from the other side of the door and then I heard her actually crying. As soon as I heard that I just stopped I couldn't open the door knowing that I was the one that made her cry. I've never made her cry before at least not from sadness and it really hurts to know that I'm the one that has made her so upset because I never want to hurt her but now I have and I feel awful. I didn't want to open the door and see her like that but I also wanted to stop her crying so I took a deep breath and opened the door. 

Your POV 

I have no idea how much time had passed but after crying into my textbook for a while I heard the door open which I knew would be Pedri so I didn't look up not wanting him to see me like this or to start arguing again. I was hoping he would just leave again if I didn't look up but he didn't instead he came over and put a hand on my back to rub it gently. His actions made me look up to see him standing next to me with a sorry look in his eyes which made me feel worse than I already did. Once I was looking at him he crouched down in front of me and wiped the tears from my face then leaving his hand to linger on my cheek for a second before putting it back by his side. 

We looked at each other for a few moments before I couldn't handle being apart from him any longer I just needed to be in his arms and to forget about everything that happened earlier so I threw my arms around him. He accepted my embrace straight away and lifted me up to bring me out of my office and to the bedroom where he sat down on the bed with me on his lap. Being back in his arms felt so good I've really missed our daily cuddles and just spending time with him. Even after being such an awful girlfriend for the last week Pedri still just moved on and started to take care of me even though I'm the one that should be trying to make it up to him. 

"I'm sorry" I said after a while of sitting in silence 

"It's ok I'm sorry too I shouldn't have started an argument" he apologised 

"No it's my fault I'm sorry I've shut you out this week I just really want to do well on these exams and to stop myself getting too stressed I have to study" I explained 

"It's ok love I understand you don't need to apologise I should be supporting you and trying to help not making you feel bad" he said 

"Can we both agree that we should've done things differently and move on I'll try and take more breaks to spend time with you and then we won't argue anymore" I suggested 

"Of course love I just want you to be happy and not so stressed so if you need to study don't worry about me as long as you make it up to me after exams are over I'll be fine" he joked 

"Oh I'll definitely make it up to you" I teased 

I regretted my teasing straight away because he tackled me into the bed and started pressing kisses all over my face and neck. He was teasing me now but I didn’t care it was just nice to be spending time with him again. In that moment I decided to spend at least some time with Pedri everyday so that we can talk like we always do or do what we are doing now anything to relax with him. 

[dnangelic]

"I have been pondering this question for some time now." Ozymandias drummed his fingers against the arm of his seat, seemingly lost in thought for a moment's time before golden eyes shifted downwards to Daisuke. "What would you do with your life if Dark was suddenly no longer a part of you? Considering you both are so intertwined that you are nearly one in the same, would it be difficult for you to move forward without him present?"

@ardenssolis

' eh ... ? ' had someone like him really been worth occupying the pharaoh's thoughts so much ? fear and intimidation flashes across the niwa's features at first , but it gradually darkens into his own brief , furrowed-brow ponder .

if dark was suddenly taken away from him ...

in the first place , his arrival at chaldea had been because he had wanted nothing more than his family's phantom entirely extracted and removed . how would he have ever led a normal life , otherwise ? it didn't matter that the decision would have gone against his mother and grandfather's wishes , or even dark's own frantic pleas mingled into their voices . his body should have been only his body , and his life only his own life . his choices and feelings would have only been his own , and maybe then , he wouldn't have had to worry over everything all the time ...

a thought that , to daisuke's own surprise , had seemed to reverse .

' if dark wasn't with me anymore ... ' he speaks quietly . slowly . the thoughts trickle out gentle and fragile-seeming , yet it isn't long before the boy's hand anxiously clutches at his clothes and firmly clenches its grip . ' ... i don't know . i've thought about it a lot , too . the reason why i came here , and sometimes , what it meant that i've had to stay . if it weren't for dark , i don't even think i would be alive right now ... '

wouldn't it have been frightening ? to imagine himself alone , without his phantom servant and its power , without the second voice in his thoughts sometimes berating , sometimes gently encouraging him ? even at his weakest , his most pathetic and his most pitiful , dark had always been there trying to protect him from various things . to call him at all intertwined with his other self almost felt unimaginable , and perhaps this too was a part of ozymandias's query ; the pharaoh's imaginary test .

' if ... ' his hands still clutch , balling themselves into small fists . his head lifts , and as his voice fills with something staunch and firm , his eyes too gradually start to shimmer with something like determination . ' if ... i had a reason , and some place that i was supposed to be , then --- ' the echo of dark's voice in his memories reaches him . ' even if it was painful , i'd keep going . i'm sure that he wouldn't want me to stay in place and cry like i always do ... though i still might not be able to help but cry . '

but even that was still okay , wasn't it ? his heart felt to bruise and ache just at the thought despite the way he meekly laughs , and how strange it feels too , to suddenly realize just how important dark had truly become to him . all he could do was hope that he too was someone , if not something , needed ... if not by those like ozymandias before him , then chaldea and the master ; if not even so much , then simply by his other self --- the one he had always admired and hoped to become .

' if it's true that we're nearly the same , then that makes me really happy . ' so much so that he can feel once more his heart's sudden leap , and the hard pound of it reaching the inside of his ears . then his eyes , his teeth , and the gradually sharpening tips of them that flash themselves as he smiles --- bright and innocently , nevertheless . ' i don't know what kind of person it makes me , to come to chaldea hoping to get rid of him , and then to say something like this , but ... if i could , somehow , keep him with me even after all of this is over , then i'd like to . if i can't --- i'm sure that dark would be the first to realize it and try to say farewell . but even then , i'd still keep him with me . '

a frigid hand lays carefully over the space of his heart .

' ... here . rider , the people important to you , even though you've been separated from them too , you still keep them there , don't you ? in your memories , and in your history . they're still a precious , irreplaceable part of you , even if they're not "present " . '

maybe it was too late for the niwa , who had been bound to a thief from the start , to ever return to a pure and natal innocence . the way things were now , that was fine . the master had gathered up all sorts of servants , from the just to the wicked ; from true names like pharaohs to nameless phantoms . some lived beneath the bright light of the sun , while others , like himself , learned to love the night .

( in the end --- i want to keep it dark . )

' to tell you the truth , i don't know if he would think the same about me ... i don't always know what he's thinking , and even now , he's asleep . but --- if it isn't shameful , if we could really be the same , then something like suddenly separating could never happen . for the rest of my life , i could do anything and go anywhere , ' his wings too unfurl , their black feathery curtains fluttering glossy and soft in the light , ' because that's what a phantom thief ... what phantom thief dark , is supposed to do . '

[inazuma-fulgur]

In pain whenever someone insists that being naked around children, like in general, is bad

No cloths = pedo (this here is slightly exaggerated but some people actually say that. With words.)

Because nakes = sexual and sexual = bad and impure and children = pure and innocent and without agency

Waiting for the day where changing your childs diaper also becomes sexual and pedo unless *insert arbitrary metric*. If I had to imagine it'd probably be more terf shit, a la all men are horny monsters or only parents of the same SEX as the child should be allowed to.

I will nopt discuss further complications around childbirth because none of this makes sense anyway

I find it especially jarring when other queer people make arguments like that.

Like, y'all can't look at other people and be normal about it. It's not weird to be naked, you are weird for being unable to confront nudity without having secondary thoughts about it. You are the one uncomfortable with it so no one else is allowed to be comfortable with it?

Thinking about FKK (something I don't even know an english term for. Mom told me she and her parents often went to fkk places, because older people still found nudity more normal than we do I'd guess. Maybe they were an outlier but I can't shake the feeling that the younger people get the weirder and less tolerant they get of nudity and other peoples bodies.)

Every year when there's kink at pride discourse I can't help but think about how I wouldn't give two shits about people fucking in public, like it wouldn't be any more annoying that people blasting music and being loud, that's it. It definitely wouldn't smell as bad as some other stuff, like fireworks for example.

I also can't help but think about one of my friends from school who very amused told an anecdote where she went into her parents room while they were having sex when she was a little kid. Shocker, nothing happened to her. Plain seeing sex doesn't hurt, unless you already have been traumatized or smth. Also most of these super weird puritanical ideas only work under the assumption that children have the very same understanding of everything us adults do. Which they don't. How could they, they're learning everything about the world still. Explain it to them so that they can keep themselves safe, you'll have to do it regardless some day.

Go listen to what they're curious about, teach them at the pace they want, answer what they ask.

Because even if I say they don't have the same understanding of things us adults do, that doesn't mean children aren't smart and capable of understanding the bigger world, expanding their horizon.

People like that, in my opinion, just hate children.

Want to control them. Mold them into copies of themselves, perfect what they feel isn't perfect about themselves.

That's not how you treat another person, give kids agency and let them explore stuff. Let children be curious and nosy.

Teach them about consent, because consent isn't just sexual.

Teach them general things that are useful and good.

Teach them about their bodies and signs to look out for, built trust so that when they hit puberty and their needs and experiences change they will talk to you, ask and share what they feel and see. And then expand their horizons more

Please never raise children with preset ideas of how a well raised child has to turn out, with ideas of a fixed process with a fixed result, where certain things are off limits and shouldn't be allowed because they could lead to people growing up who don't fit your personal ideal(s).

Diversity of thought does not mean "diversity until I can't personally understand/relate anymore, beyond that it's evil". The only evil thing is you limiting the beauty and vastness of humanity

Children won't ever fit into your preconceived notions and that's a good thing, we're constantly learning and ideas are changing, and I'm not blaming you for growing older and having bigger more pressing worries and growing out of touch a bit, just don't denie others because of that.

The only way for children around you to be exactly like you is for them to grow up under the exact same conditions as you. But the world around you is changing constantly, even if you feel like YOU are a constant I assure you, you aren't.

Not even siblings or even even twins have that work out for them. Everyone makes different experiences, spends their time differently, cares about different shit. For better and for worse.

Embrace the potential for the worse, because it will lead to the better future you dream of.

If bad ideas are off limits and can't be talked about those ideas can't be challenged.

And if new ideas can't be brought forth nothing better can come into existence.

Yes new ideas will be not just good, there are bad ones. But that's why we discuss and make an effort, that's why we try things to see whether they work or fail.

We can't create the perfect world through logic in our heads and then execute it. Because humans aren't rational, logic is kinda fake even if it isn't, embrace that. Failure is human, failure leads to growth.

Many good things came from experimentation and theory but also from testing and trial and error, brute forcing stuff. Taking what works and optimizing it. Taking what didn't work and tweaking it slightly or taking notes on what has to be avoided in the future.

I love humans, I am human

I wish we would all stop dehumanizing each other constantly