#it could be good I am genuinely keeping my mind open

[abyss-seer]

Pick A Card Reading

Disclaimer: All content in this reading, including interpretations and messages, belongs to me and should not be copied, reproduced, or distributed without permission. The images used are sourced from Pinterest and do not belong to me. They are for illustrative purposes only.

A love read for people in relationships. Singles can also watch it. Minors do not interact. These reads can be used as an insight provider for your current or past relationships and can be used for self improvement or relationship improvement journaling.

I personally don't believe in picking up other's energies except the person interacting with my energy. So this would be an insight guide on your relationships through your energy. For singles out here, this read can be for you, just take the shoe if it fits and can be used as an insight guide as well, you may or may not get the messages of your liking here. Channelled messages are in double quotation text.

So trigger warning ⚠️ these reads are long can be triggering, are pretty deep and require presence of mind. Sorry ADHD people, but trust me on this. This is an intuitive psychic work. Please only take the storyline of what resonates. If its not for you, its not meant to be. A lot of violence, SA and intense themes of suicide came up,please take breaks while reading it, this read was one long and intense ride. I cried many times, its pretty intense and looong. Its too much honestly speaking Iam a Scorpio and this is a deep emotionally intense ride, so take your time, if you feel you have understood the message and jist of the reading mid way reading it, please leave. There's no compulsion,this read is for the purposes of journalling only. And yeah, I am sorry for not including pictures of diverse couples. please forgive me, just got those 6 pictures as my pinterest recommends.

How to find that depth in your relationships to keep its spark going? What is it that you aren't seeing/doing when it comes to navigating your love life?

So today I asked my cards for a PAC topic so this is what came through

These are some channeled song. At first I thought I had to help you guys express your feelings to your partners and get out of your comfort zone but then came a message from the people in relationships who are circling back in a loveless relationship just for the comfort of it, have love for each other, the $ex could have been kept at side (even though its good) and are struggling to keep the spark going despite loving each other the most and feeling as if the relationship is at its brink despite having an open communication and conversation. So what is it that will keep "us" going? Idk what it is, but let's find out, and see what comes out. If you have been feeling this way, this might be the reading for you. This can be applied to similar context with "friends just for now" (situationships) or people who haven't found their significant other where you guys could be having trouble moving past the comfort zone to express those real and genuine feelings. In the end take what resonates and leave the rest.

Every pile is divided into 6 categories

1. Confirmations

2. How deep is your relationship with them? (Singles this could be your past or future person, idk take it how it resonates)

3. How can you look for depth in your relationships?

4. What is it that you aren't seeing or doing about your relationships?

5. How is this lack of depth in your energy affecting your relationships?

6. What else can you do to navigate your/through your love life smoothly? (Cause love life sometimes needs navigating through some external obstacles 🤷🏻‍♀️)

So here are the piles

The link to pile 6 is here

Pile 1

1. Confirmations:

Someone here could be indian or from Spain or knows the language Hindi, and Spanish, 6, june, july, someone could have recently taken or shared their MBTI Test, Letters MBBP, the it boy song BBNO$, number 7, Isabel LaRosa's song I'm yours 🎵 you are so pretty it hurts🎵, Lion, ♌ Leo, july Leo

2. How deep is your relationship with each other?

Right off the bat, Im feeling thirsty 🥵 trust me I'm hearing DPR IAN -Dont go insane, the heavy breathing part with chains ⛓️ or belts. Ok. "Kaamna" you both could have wished for this relationship. Kaamna,Seema or Odette (the swan princess coming through) could be someone's name as well. I am also getting nutcracker music. Some of you here could be a ballerinas. Idk why all this gives me christmas vibes. Maybe some of you aren't over Christmas yet and haven't removed the decorations as well 😆.

Basically this doesn't seems like the traditional relationship but it definitely could be one of those relationships that is still at the early stages of commitment but could have been rushed without proper communication.

3. How can you look for depth in your relationships ?

High Priestess here said "You need to look for info within oneself " you both should see your old pictures, "I'm getting one man boat or boating pictures" and maybe revisit the site of that old business venture that you both wanted to do together but couldn't get time for it. It reminds me of a youtube animation movie with the same plot of growing apart from each other due to differences in goals, in the movie, the husband and wife came together and wanted to open a bakery together. So the husband and wife started earning money through various sources and had to leave their hobbies of baking behind to focus on work/ for someone this could be about focusing on shares rather than what you are passionate about doing. Anyway all this hustle culture could have promoted both of you quickly and may have rewarded you with lots of money only to forget about what both of you were actually passionate about despite getting a small pay for pursuing those hobbies. This is specific but someone could have started an Only Fans, to earn a lot of money only to invite their friends over to gain cash in terms of price for their services. It seems like you both could have forgotten the real reason both of you yearned for this money. "Its over a month already" "when will we get new clients" I guess this is the energy that is coming through. But yeah what you need to look for is your search for your inner calling.

4. What is it that you aren't doing/seeing about your relationship?

I'm getting the word "Seema" . Seems like you are pretty bad at setting proper boundaries in the guise of thinking "its hot" even when its uncomfortable for you. Do you, Iam not judging, just know that it isn't hot when it's uncomfortable to do so. You seem to have a hard time leaving what doesn't serves you anymore.

And the other thing you are doing is not connecting with people who can give you meaningful connections. There's a lack of wholesomeness in your connections cause there are beautiful connections that you are gifted with which aren't getting their deserving time and attention from you, because you could be so tired and exhausted of overbearing new relationships in this relationship that you are almost handling your meaningful connections in a wild manner.

5. How is this lack of depth in your energy affecting your relationships?

Its this unconscious, unsaid yet unfamiliar promise that you have unknowingly kept with others. Its the vows that you could be breaking. Someone's name could be "Colby,Coby,Cody". I don't necessarily think it's the vows that you have kept. It's that when we agree to live a normal life in society, we bind ourselves to follow a social moral code of conduct. And that includes not being a participant in breaking the vows or promises we have knowingly or unknowingly made with other people for eg the promise of not leaving others behind in misery after they have helped you through your tough times. Please don't try to hurt other people knowingly or unknowingly without their consent as there's a huge karmic energy piling up through these un-consented individuals as they didn't subscribe to getting hurt, especially if you are someone in their plain sight

I'm also getting that someone (very sincere) here could have been left out in the drought and harsh period of their lives, while the person who promised to be with them kept them in the dark. Idk if this person has kept you in dark on purpose or not, and I can see how this vow must have bound you indefinitely and breaking it could have been the only way for you to express your deep pain, frustration, desire and anguish, but please don't hurt yourself in the process of hurting the other and getting revenge as its not necessary, your downfall could affect this person sometimes people can go from people you know to people you don't, and they can act indifferently to your misconduct. So don't go on ruining your life if that's the case.

Iam getting Kim Namjoon's lost, "you are a ghost" like there's heavy energy of getting ghosted, isolated and now ghosting other people in return and not wanting any sorts of physical contact with anyone. Wandering around with other people yet dissociating in your own body, cause you don't want to face the feeling, so you traumatize your body by engaging in $3xual behaviour you don't yourself like, so you can disengage yourself due the anger and hatred. Iam really sorry if you are going through this, but punishing/overstimulating your own body to forget this feeling isn't always the answer. Its your body at the end of the day, and our vessel has a limit to its stimulation. Please don't over exert yourself for these heart ripping feelings. This is so sad pile 1, I'm so sad you had to go through so much emotional turmoil and pain. I'm sorry if these messages triggered you and ruffled some feathers. I will put a trigger warning above this pile. You are a brave soul for facing those neglected feelings. Be proud of yourself for that.

6. What else can you do to navigate through your love life smoothly?

First of all, here's Yamas :-

1. Ahimsa (Non-violence)

Avoid harm in thoughts, words, and actions to yourself, others, and nature. Practice kindness and compassion.

2. Satya (Truthfulness)

Be honest and truthful without causing harm. Align your words and actions with your inner truth.

3. Asteya (Non-stealing)

Do not take what does not belong to you, including material goods, time, or energy. Cultivate gratitude and generosity.

4. Brahmacharya (Moderation)

Practice self-control and balance your desires, especially regarding sensual pleasures. Focus on higher spiritual goals. Bring yourself to balance and focus on building a balanced mind for yourself

5. Aparigraha (Non-possessiveness)

Let go of greed and material attachments. Embrace simplicity and contentment with what you have.

Now that we are here. Dear Pile 1, stop remaining stuck in your fear of losing someone by making them remember you as someone they would regret leaving behind by describing highly of your life, yet being so hard on yourself (beating yourself up) for your own past regrets, and not being happy with your present, respecting the life lessons and wisdom you could have earned from those mistakes, no matter what job you had to do in your miserable times, you still have the chance to be someone who can change the world in one way or other. I just realised that there's so much pent up energy and frustration within you that some of you have burned yourself out in your own anger and anguish that some of you don't even realise how this constant effort to keep the spark alive is slowly killing you, venomous for you and is visually distorting you from your higher purpose in life. Do you believe that you have a higher calling in life? Stop trying so hard, and changing yourself.

Stop over analysing your success and your beautiful relationships based on your past experiences. They don't define you, the lessons you learnt from and actions you take based on them in your present makes you who you are today. Teach your learning to the world, share your happiness and do the things you want to live for. "I don't like, I don't care" it could be something you may say you don't like or care about due to low self esteem. Create an identity for yourself that doesn't revolve around relationships or love in general.

Clean and Tidy up yourself "your name" and meetup with new people, take that risk and make that talk, if you looking for reconciliation or are in a relationship, but aren't confident of making the first move, take that risk and do it. At first, saying your heart out might feel a bit heavy, restless, and even exhausting for you but work hard at being this compassionate lover, and expressing your inner vulnerability and emotions as some of you could struggle with opening up your heart, only if trust your partner or companion or the dating scene, it will change with a some patience and love for yourself. Don't be afraid of rejection, stand at your personal resolve of improving your love life and try opening up your heart space for others to let in. Don't bother with the people of low quality who play with you (if you are single and in dating scene). Avoid infections/ "plague" if you are in some open relationships(that was for somebody specific, im getting inflammatory disease). Also avoid spending low quality time with each other or remove distractions when spending time with each other.

"Do not leave behind the toilet roll, avoid leaving behind the toilet roll" idk what I just channeled

Hope I helped you Pile 1. Have a great day 💝😊

Pile 2

1. Confirmations

Fortnite -Taylor Swift,

🎵 and for a fortnite there, we were forever. 🎵Run into you sometimes,ask about the weather 🎵now you're in my backyard🎵, confusing between spirituality and materialism, water sign, sprinkles, water sprinklers, rain, aftermath of rain, growing of plants, swati nakshatra, earth sign, meditative energy, Dark complextion, "Grace", ate Tandoori, being on good graces, "correct your posture, straighten it", earthy or fresh forest or grassy or light floral mists or scents, African, caravan, trailer van, nomads, 3, march,4,April, Muladhara Chakra/root chakra, Father figure, someone is feeling a lack of father figure or fears facing things head on because their father figure failed to do so, Daytime, War, Letter : V,R,M,A,V,O,R

2. How deep is your relationship with each other?

5 of wands - needless to say very competitive, and friends just for now

The depth of this relationship stays in terms of friendship as rivals, this relationship could be at a phase where both of you are just starting out and are getting to know each other, but the intensity of this romantic dynamic could have intensified with rivalry and healthy competitiveness which seems pretty good to be honest. Your energy reminds me of a mountain or mountain goat, a very persevering energy with a fixed mindset towards your own goals and deeds. "Reaches for the stars" That's what I have been meaning to say, you are someone ambitious and goal oriented and someone with traditional values and sometimes you might end up finding yourself pursuing your family's dream. Some of you could be hier to some sort ancestral legacy or business line. There's something here about "wanting to be just like them" in the times of celebration. Its as if wanting to hold hands during any wins or celebrations but ending up putting a lot of things at stake, I am getting Sleeping Beauty where if she touches the needle the entire kingdom goes to sleep due to Maleficent 's curse. Its something around that, its as if you both said your feelings out loud, some sort of false idea would vanish and you both will have to prepare to rebel against something. Im getting "La la la" from Naughty boy ft Sam Smith. It's as if you both are ready to cover your ears like a kid and go la la la.

3. How can you find depth in your relationship?

Five of Swords in reverse and three of cups - Sounds more like, you both need to stop trying to one up each other to the point of ending each other. I see silly fights between you two that end up being hurtful to each other's inner child. Its as if you both call out each other's egoistic selves and then get angry and cry over being called that 😭😭😭, stop fighting you two, I think there are times when your friendly fights might end up not only exposing each other but end up bruising each other's ego. (Tarot reader :- What is this? What are you two doing, Why are you two fighting each other like dogs? Stop getting on each other's neck and cutting off the oxygen supply, what are you two doing, French revolution?🤦🏻‍♀️)

But both of you love each other like its your time!

Ok you two, what?!!! You both need to stop fighting ugly bro/sis. There's some African spirit guide saying this. Like you know this, I don't even have to tell you, (the guide is like I don't have to tell you, mathafakarz, just stop it already). Oh my God the Drama between you too. Accept yourself for who you are and accept each other. Learn to be vulnerable enough to speak your wounds or past hurts or trauma to each other. Good friends understand each other. Oh God and stop acting like rivals only to end up hurting each other. Oh God why am I getting that you both care for each other after hurting sending each other videos of that Gwenchana deng deng deng deng . 🤣🤣🤣 What?! Okay Circus Jokers! You know what I am talking about. Just don't hurt each other and remain open to listening to the other side. Anyways one of you could have poked the other's hand with sea urchin or hedgehog spikes, idk why I channeled that, but I feel like that's what has isolated one from the other or something painful like that.

4. What is it you aren't seeing/doing about your relationship?

Okay gurl/gal idk what can be more obvious than the title of the song itself. Aaaaaaaaaah!!! You both are closer than all this fighting, if something happens to you they will be there. Like I'm already hearing piano and guitar strings

Like the song is about a hope to see the person again and then yet wanting to forget. Idk maybe they are giving you hints, but you aren't reciprocating or responding despite THROWING THE OBVIOUS SIGNS, anyways this feels like a bestie that can never let you go but feels the obvious signs. Idk why now getting that maybe its you who has always been sending signals, maybe even sent them an UFO with Aliens to tell them that but they never respond. One of you isn't reciprocating or atleast responding to the obvious signs. When in spite you both might throw each other deep shade and other isn't responding. Okay what's with this love-hate relationship, now I am confused 🤷🏻‍♀️ you two like to role play Kendrick Lamar and Drake????

I guess they like you but you end up hurting them so much, you could be in such a hurry to get the results of perfecting your craft that you could have ended up treating them so unfairly that they felt hurt, their heart feels rushed and dragged, its as if even though they have good comebacks for your insults. It seems like you need to learn to take accountability when you are wrong instead of acting like you are right. Oh my God 😭 this person could be a musician. I understand this reading must sound so one sided, but its an introspective read, focused on you not them

5. How is the lack of depth in your energy affecting your relationships?

These are some lyrics I channeled from Shinee Don't Call Me :

🎵You won’t be able to handle it, you’re just obsessed

Because nobody was good as I was, ya🎵

I am getting this lack of serious energy, and also this song 🎵rap việt không sao cả🎵 gosh girl why is this so annoying! Honestly I am getting someone who hides their disappointment in their love life, and through music (piano specifically) its as if they forget all their responsibilities and are burried within their own thoughts and feelings of hatred against each other hence they try to cope it with humour. This could be the case for both of you. You both are using humour to deflect responsibilities and accountability of hurting each other, i heard "almost ruining each other's life" to a point and extent where there's no return. Your comedy, is your deflection to not look at the world and accept the uniqueness of the creatures sent here by the Divine himself and live in harmony with them. I think you are a very light hearted joyous and nice person which is a good thing but this habit of yours is causing lack of depth in your relationships to an extent where people either don't see you as a marriage material or player or they might find you lack accountability in relationships making you unreliable and untrustworthy. Iam channeling Closer by Jungkook (Golden Album). " You grew morose and deeply pained by those sorrows your heart held in it deep mournful silence."

Idk what else could describe suppression of emotions better than this. There's so much trickery, malice and manipulation in this energy yet so much energy of a person who could have accepted every sort of pain thrown their way with grace, someone's mom in this pile could have "inhaled chains of smoke to keep you alive" "Iam getting the name "Parvati" and a mother figure, definitely feeling a broken person who could have been forced to accept any challenge thrown their way , and got traumatized to cross that invisible line created by their perpetrator

Iam seeing your lack of empathizing with yourself "for letting all the bad things happen to you ". even though I can assure you that none of this could have been your fault to begin with, causing you to deflect it with humour and hence not forming meaningful connections with the people , you often don't allow people into your heart space and say its alright. Hence you never ask for help and suffer alone, and then unconsciously do the same with other people,you let them suffer alone when they need you the most or worst hurt them where they feel like you are tricking them into sacrificing something/or a part of themselves unwillingly. Its the lack of depth or apparent lack of maturity or unwillingness to works with other's emotions with empathy cause you don't empathize with yourself that could make you seem lacking depth in relationships.

I'm also getting that this can be due to a lack of father figure or a disappointing father figure who couldn't show you how to fight wolves, hence you too learnt to give up cause you saw your pillar not fight for you and started depreciating every effort you made in life with humour, this father figure may have mocked your efforts or tricked you into sacrificing yourself in childhood due to which you don't take responsibility for mistakes you made in life and sometimes might end up sacrificing more than what is usually required of you to make up for those mistakes. Hence sometimes boosting your own ego or people perceiving you as someone egoistic. I'm sorry if you went through that. And stop saying its alright, its not alright, you never deserved to be treated like a toy, please treat yourself with empathy next time than saying its alright for everything and not expressing your obvious discomfort for things in life.

6. What else can you do to navigate through your love life smoothly?

First of all what I see is somebody constantly getting defensive or lying about their culture and their origins, its as if you don't want to give a bad vibe for being someone who doesn't belongs to the culture, because you don't want strangers to associate you with your very own culture and you don't want them to see you as who you are. Stop trying to partner up with people for surface level connections. Stop chiming in with other people's music if they cannot chime in yours. Cause this isn't what you dreamt of. Stop living a lie, in hopes of fulfilling an empty surface level dream, stop chasing it just because everyone else is doing so,

Now your love life could be deteriorating due to you pushing aside your old cultural routines and habits replacing them with a new one. I got "chinese 4th year and chinese netizens or year of netizen streaks" some of you could be popular on social media. Chinese 4th year is year of rabbit 🐇 it could be of significance for someone here. Your success in your career and relationships depends more on going back to your roots and enlivening them for others to see of the beauty of your culture. I felt somebody really really embarrassed to show their culture, like they would rather flip the table to end the conversation than to show it to others. Your person or you could feel betrayal due to abandoning your own culture maybe through each other or your family. Anyway the harmony, stability and balance comes with accepting who you are and not trying to change yourself for others. Something related to the throne and prison are coming through but yeah this pile was def giving me a lot of royal vibes. The whole time I was channeling this pile, I was getting flashes of my old friend who was also from a royal family. This can't be a coincidence. I feel like whoever you are, you are being asked to move on from this copy cat energy and try finding ways to enliven and introduce your culture to other people rather than succumbing to theirs. It also gave me a vision of an immigrant family who decides to change their entire food habits and small things they liked to do back home to get along with others, only to find out the things they bonded over was their little traditional cultural values and habits that they had once abandoned, hence souring their beautiful relationship. This low self esteem could also be due to feeling desperately unabundant or financially unstable despite having everything rooted in their culture. Maybe going back to your roots will not only make both of you feel abundant again but in turn help you manifest more of it in return. Use or eat more food items of colour red in your diet or do exercises to activate your root chakra.

Hope you liked this reading Pile 2 bye

Pile 3

1. Confirmations :-

Investigative journalism, detective and horror genres, 1, 4, 6, June,July, January, April, someone's name could be April or start with letter "J", Producer-Director, Public Display of Affection, Pedaling bicycles, P,D,E,L,G, Pedagogy, kpop group G-Idle, your person's name could start with letter E like Eunchae or something

2. How deep is your relationship with each other?

I cannot even start explaining how my cards were exploring each other and were trying to explain the entire depth of the situation. By the way some of you could be here to see how deep your relationship with your future soulmate or spouse is going to be, which is alright, no shade being thrown here, but this is meant to be an introspective read which is here to explore your love life and it might not directly be about them and also that this read might feel like a prediction for your future relationship.

Aight now I see both you exploring each other in various ways in bed, seeing how good you teo can be, some of you could be dancers or might love doing tiktok, yt shorts or reel challenges as a couple. 555, this relationship can be highly transformational for the both of you and 666 gives me a vibe of slightly karmic or heavy smexually addicted to each other kinda energy. Though both of you seemed to give off that goth vibe. I am also getting someone doing "Inshallah" like now I am getting a Goth Vibe Muslim girly. 🎵Pose for me - jack remix🎵 coming through. Unlike what many people believe or what you both could have got them believing, this relationship is far from abusive or anything like that, its sweet, wholesome, both of you will be the it couple and everyone would want to have what you two have, people will get inspired by your relationship and they will admire your relationship far and wide. Iam also seeing you two being in a long term relationship committed to each other and doing the efforts and hard work on taking this relationship to the next step.

As I can see this completely different from your previous relationship, your prev relationship could have been @bu$ive and I am so sorry if you went through that. For some of you this old relationship could have been an arranged or contractual agreement or work related relationship. Iam getting 🎵Build A Bitch by Bella Paorch 🎵 and 🎵 Cinderella 's Dead by Emeline🎵 like someone here could have gone through body shaming and breast surgery just to appease their previous partner. Like this old relationship was "tormenting, tumultuous" and maybe sometimes the abuse would leave you "panting for breathe 🫁" like "your lungs would swell" either someone was abused to the point of suffocation or state of asphyxiation through physical or repetitive addiction to substance abuse. Someone here could be a single mom who decided to move out along with her child, like this person could have created some bad situation "like for some of you, you could have been rushed to hospital when this situation happened and then got drove out of the house or left you alone to pay the bills". Like there are some so and so stories of something like this happening right or something for someone that has already happened. If you are in some physically abusive relationship please leave it right away. For those who have moved on....

You might feel so traumatized from your previous one that your new person might feel like a distraction to you at the start only for him to turn into the male lead. This person will direct and straightforward in their ways. Unlike your previous relationship this person might even urge you to eat more. Aww healthy masculinity, girl the way you are going to become a girl boss under his presence. Like damn "all the girls are girling girling"

Like you have daughters or a lot of girlfriends they are all cheering the two of you.

3. How can you find depth in your relationship?

By learning how to stand up for yourself when your relationships go sour, learning how to be courageous enough to confront the truth and see it for what it is, rather than pondering upon the time, money, love and energy you had invested into your relationships and see it for what is and see where you and your partner stands in this relationship. You need to understand how to let go of your love for your partners and courageously see the truth of your relationships for what they are. Learn to unsee the roles of third parties, whether it be work or someone who might think are the cause of the end of your relationship when they are nothing more than secondary factors who played a part in the end of the relationship. The main cause always being the weak and shaky foundations of the initial relationships.

Yeah another thing is to stop finding depth in your relationships through images, old photographs or remembering the past or revisiting the memories or anything of that sort or nature, you are not responsible for someone's loveless behaviour towards you.

🎵Think of you when I'm goin' to bed

When I wake up, think of you again

You are my homie, lover and friend

Exactly why🎵

I'm also getting that "you should stop pandering over his whims". Some of you could be "photobooth girlies". You could have an air of wisdom around you, there's are very genuine aura about, you might be the type to pander over "someone's boyfriend" I'm also getting "Sloan in the office". It might resonate with you.

Anyway your pandering over your partners could skyrocket to an extent that I guess in your case, you might end up unseeing a lot of their wrongs. I also see that the depth in your relationships can be found by you developing an identity of your own rather than being all about your partner and their life. Find something you are passionate about, and try turning your hobbies into something materialistic, meaningful and worthwhile memory that can stand a lifetime with you. Create some substance and depth in your own identity and character. Chase after your dreams and what you like, chase your financial goals and preserve through financial debts and loans to get over the sadness of the shaky foundations of a relationship or a breakup to not think too much about it.

You will get and make justice for all the sorrows that you could have been through. I'm also getting a storyline of someone "accusing someone of money extortions while reaping benefits of their hard work " asked to persevere and pay the financial debts that someone else had created despite the challenges as this phase has come in your to prove yourself of your worth so that you don't sell yourself short just because you see worth in other people's eyes.

4. What is it you aren't seeing/doing about this relationship?

You may have a tendency to show off your happiness or talk a lot about good things happening in your life to the internet to not focus on the anger or unsuccessful attempts at reviving a relationship from hell. (Like Gurl what are you doing 😱, what is not meant for you will never be there for you for a good reason) Like why are you trying to call back this goon right here, like I get the hots you had and might still kinda have for him even if you don't want to admit it but dude what are you doing??? Everyone's confused, your friends, your family, your Spotify playlist and your kdrama and Netflix algorithm are all confused at the same time. Why are you angry about him going away? You know you can still feel those cookie pleasures with other guys, damn you don't need him, what the heck girl? Spirit is saying "stop showing up your price" gurl remember the price of your happiness might be cheap for somebody else, so stop showing off how happy you are and how good you are doing to everyone. Its showing like they know you are sad about something. I'm getting "Mittens it ain't nothing to be that sad about anyway, they are a bunch of losers anyways" "like dude don't count down your blessings, stop cucking it for everyone to see, they are your gifts, not something to show but things to be proud of. If you are proud of it and feels like an expression of yourself then yeah post it, but stop highlighting it and showing it off. OMG girl, its giving insecure like professional insecure" idk why I gave y'all a nickname and then that sass talk, but some of your sassy girlfriends are like, they are also cheering you on "yess girly move on" "row row row your boat, row it away from him"

I think first things you are seeing everything as a price not precious memories and experiences cause maybe you are so immersed in your previous experiences that you don't see the value in your current relationship or current state of affairs despite knowing the fact that you are an Empress, you can have whoever you want whenever you want in your life. You could not want to see those blessings as blessings cause maybe they feel like a loan that will become a debt, so now instead of focusing on working to pay that you have officially decided to halt and not accept the blessings that are being given to you. But remember not everybody gets a loan, you have to be eligible to get one, so know that life is giving it to you because it knows you can pay it back.

So stop treating beautiful relationships and connections that come to you like a blessing as a loan and know that you are getting the privilege to experience it because you have the potential to pay it back and work for it. 💝

OMG damn girl!

5. How is the lack of depth in your energy affecting your relationships?

I almost said "how is your physiology affecting your biology" you guys could be gym trainers or health advocates, dieticians or athletes . I am getting the word "condemning". "Part of it is misconstrued " seems like part of the reason why your partners might feel you lack depth could be their own misunderstandings about your image.

Regardless that's on them, people who know each other closely know that it all starts with communication. Assumptions in a relationship doesn't last long. Idk why pile 3 but I do feel like there can be some communication issue on your part as well, afterall if you are someone who gets misjudged a lot, why doesn't your partner communicate their doubts with you, so you can clarify them. You may have a past of letting in shallow people into your life without even getting to know them on a deep enough level to start a relationship. This gives "misconstrued ideas led to Frieda being the golden poster boy, even though she's a girl"

What I'm seeing with my cards here. All of it just seems like a lot. Pile 3, do you even realise the weight of taking your parent's behaviour or tradition or legacy or do you just take whatever is being given onto you. I wouldn't lie, someone's parent or specifically grandparent's here seems more like the character Shakuni from the Indian mythology Mahabharata. For context this character was considered as one of the most cunning cruel and clever human beings of his time, whose intellect and smartness rivaled to that of Gods, but this man had a problem ,he used his cleverness and smartness to push Duryodhana and all his 99 brothers against the kind and well meaning 5 brothers of the Pandava clan. He was also responsible for spreading his venom in the King's ears leading to a great war later on. I feel like some of your difficulties start from this type of father/grandfather archetype who spews nonsensical venom in your ears, and you listen to it without using any of your own judgement or discernment of your own. I'm getting the word "hostel". R.K. Narayan's Malgudi Days could be significant for someone here. There's a story related to it, Father's help, where we see that Swami is more scared of provoking his dad than telling him the truth. I don't know I think you are either scared to question the forceful authority in your household/friend group/community than follow the truth and wisdom your heart speaks to you. My Tumblr banner is "Let your heart be your compass". Trust your heart, let it row your boat, without judgement. Your heart knows, I don't why I am getting this unforgiving treacherous eye on someone. You guys could be quite unforgiving towards people due to a slight mistake people could do in your tradition or culture. This is so sad pile 3. Not everyone knows everything about you or your traditions.

I also see you not taking a stand against this injustice when your parents or elders in your family cuss at your partner. This is so disappointing. Iam also seeing the lack of depth could be due to your parents treating you like some object whose love life needs to be decided by them. I also see you blindly following some sort of standard like caste, bloodline, religion or a certain job that your parents wanted you to do, and the partner they think you should have. This either seems like a barbie doll game to them where everything from A-Z needs to be perfect or you seriously are allowing this kind of mindset, generational pattern or parents to genuinely take over the autonomy of your relationships, for them to decide your life.

The key here is to actually feel what you actually feel about a person, or things related to your partner rather than pushing your feelings aside, letting your parents handle it, or not seeing how much it hurts both you and your partner to be in a position of being dictated by your parents. The more you push your emotions and judgment aside, the more you will push a huge amount of suppressed emotions waiting to break you, your character or your partner down one day.

6. What else can you do to navigate your love life smoothly?

I honestly feel like coming to balance with yourself and your partner is the first step to start. I see you being someone who takes the initiative every single time, thereby stressing yourself and eventually putting so much of your energy, time, and attention on the people you love without expecting the same in return. This constant need to " win over a person" needs to stop. You are not broken or defective for you to be the only person to fix everything in a relationship. Both of you can see how broken the relationship is, if your partner isn't willing to try, stop trying to make it work in order to keep the relationship. What's the point? If they are already not putting in efforts, what's the point of keeping this relationship going? Its never going to work. Why do you have to be the person putting in all of the work? Why should it always be you who puts efforts into the relationship and not them.

In my cards you need to understand the difference between when and when not to put efforts into a relationship. Try understanding the energy of receiving in a relationship. You could be the type of person who gives a lot to their other half. Stop it, open your eyes and see, if this is even getting reciprocated or not. I'm not saying measure your love, I'm saying if you aren't getting reciprocated the same in return, why not communicating that with your partner and reaching a conclusion? Cause sometimes its our fault as well, we give so much love, gifts, flowers to our loved ones in hope they know we love them and then later on find them dissatisfied with us, cause maybe your partner just expected you to gift them all those only for wanting to touch their body, never realizing you wanted more depth. That's why communication is so important. Hence understand that our efforts may not be taken in the same way our partners might think. Hence become who not only nourishes but also gets nourished in their relationships.

Let your guard down and allow people to spend their money, time and energy on you. Allow new beginnings a relationship or for someone here allow people to gift you and bring new relationships towards you, let it all get balanced, you do not have to win over everyone. Partners may not understand your love language, stop giving away everything (like are you some $uicudal bit¢h or what? Why are you giving away everything? Calm down, learn the art of reciprocation and let them pamper you a little bit)

I'm getting this specific, someone's own suicide memories could have got triggered somewhere, so sorry about that. Idk if I should delete the joke or not. But please don't read the next paragraph thank you

(now please don't get offended on $uicide joke, this admin is a bit crack on dark humour, if I offended you I'm sorry for triggering something)

Stop trying to be this unforgettable lover and listen or heed the advice of lover once, stop trying to create an epic live story, just create a good one)

Omg Pile 3, so many hesitations, so many worries, things happening around in an untimely manner, someone here could have mars square Pluto, mars square some planet in scorpio in natal chart, mars square venus with their partner, or venus square in their natal chart. Stop trying to build the relationship without putting any emotional work or communication into it and focus more on connecting and receiving love.

Yup Pile 3. Take care and Be yourself in a relationship. Bubye, (idk why I wanted to call you my bubbas or something, maybe you guys work with children on a daily basis on something)

Pile 4

1. Confirmations :

Someone in this pile could be waiting for an answer for proposal, "have you decided yet", Important decisions, Wakanda, Earrings, UAE, T,compass, 🧭, WWE, letter T,W,K,W,U,E, number 3,6, 9,March,June, September, August, Sagittarius

2. How deep is your relationship with each other?

"How deep is your mistake with each other?" What an interesting storyline, is this relationship relationship built on deep faith and trust with each other due to the things you mistook about one another. Its as if you both were able to forgive big mistakes made in this relationship and thus formed a healthy relationship later. Oh my gosh! What a love, my loves.....💖

Idk why I want to ask, what is this mistake you made about each other....

Its in the past, but one of you guys mistook the other to be a showoff of some sort, idk for freely giving out their money or wealth, some family member could have defamed the other as some shameless gold digger, 🤣 I see this family member being on the lookout, nothing more, though it must have been harsh for you. I am literally getting "the golden couple" for you guys. Omg! So you guys could be moving slowly building this relationship and investing into. Some of you could be pregnant, congratulations! May God Bless both of you a long life with your baby. 💖💖💖

I am getting "Diet Mountain Dew" by Lana Del Rey

I was shuffling the deck, and then there was this mysterious card that tried to fly out but mysteriously went back flying in as nothing happened. And this was the card of work, perseverance, patience, focus and mastering the masterpiece, 8 of pentacles or so I thought but the way it hid itself only to reveal 3 of pentacles to me, despite my intuition shouting 8 of pentacles tells me a lot of things, your hard work in a collaborative effort remains hidden. You could be some sorta hidden in helping your person, family or business build their fortune. Its actually a collaborative effort, but my oh my, does your person know this? Wow so you love helping people without telling them a thing huh? OMG your love is lucky, i heard "pretty annoying", guess they don't like you interfering with their workspace, oh my gosh! And you, our Quite Quintessence are helping them behind the scenes. Your giggles could be infectious pile 4, trust me, this relationship is deeper than the formation of this land!!! OMG this seems like a past past way way past life couple. Oh my gosh, what are you guys doing here on Earth? I mean Thank You for inviting us in this space, thank you for allowing me and my spirit guides to write about your beautiful friendship/relationship. Thank you for healing this space with your sacred energy, sacred bond and following your heart's will. We are grateful to have you here, through this stormy Planet Earth. This is definitely a connection which goes way back, with starseed energy, circulating its love through the Cosmos.

I think this is a soul bond and only time will tell where it will lead the both of you together in this journey. Iam not the one who can tell you that. If this connection 's reconciliation is what's haunting you, know you have been friends before lovers, so this will go way back. You both are here for each other always as supporters and cheerleaders for each other's soul. Don't let human parameters make you fixate on this relationship 's terms and conditions. This seems like a soul connection that could have gone cold for some of you

3. How can you look for depth in your relationships?

I feel like someone's asking me "How can you find the soul connection?"

First of all, I didn't even apply oil to my hands. Iam already channeling "Oily hands" ok what? "Steak" 🥩, "stake", don't tell me you two fight over leftovers 🤦🏻‍♀️ . I think someone here wants to know how to find that soul connection. Maybe you are being confused by your own mind right now. It seems this is a higher dimensional connection, where the energies are forming current. I feel like you should remain, rest assured that they are watching over you, whether dead or alive in their soul form, they are not trying to find you though, they could be pretty much invested in some other connection for some of you. So maybe we are looking into your future connection. Avoid trying to bypass their spirit guides and their ancestral protection, some of you could be bypassing that by the means of intuition, Iam almost getting that you are bypassing their safety, on a spiritual sense by doing activities like physical spying, which could be triggering spiritual warfare towards them or through them, just stop it, "do not overdue your time and luck on Earth" that's a call out for some of you there. You could be getting attacked in your sleep, dreams or subconscious recently, it's their ancestors attacking you. Do not bypass anyone's spiritual protection, their soul decided to be a part of their family to help alleviate the generational curses in their family line not yours. Everybody has a spiritual protection, do not by pass it by any means. It might ultimately affect your connection only. Don't judge their family legacy, don't get tempted by greed, idk don't try to force something like this. Let it happen. The dominant one in this relationship could be a female, anyway it feels like the dominant energy is pretty much looking for their lover everywhere in their grief and pain, while the other is gone, and are unable to let go of them. Be careful for what you wish for though, have some patience and let God clarify your path. They are no good for you, still you want them right now.

How can you find depth in your relationships? Or what can you do to find that depth in your relationships? Well, "sharp gaze" "knock it off" someone could feel real flustered with someone's deep eyes and sharp glaze. I feel like this has something to do with you learning to connect with your emotions, 🥺 letting all your emotions flow, rather than selective emotions such as rage and anger, you should also allow the flow of softer emotions like sadness, pain, fear, as you might be someone who doesn't allows themselves to channel those emotions, hence despite being in a relationship you sometimes end up carrying trinkets of emotional baggage from your past connections, without even realising it. The baggage from your past connections and your present connections weigh you heavily in your heart space. You might not realise this at the start but will find it hard to let go of the emotional comfort, depth, energy and attention someone could have given you. Without realising this you subconsciously look for the same in your next connections, without realising the impact of that connection, you don't realise how your heart actually craves for all those emotions that your ex /past connections gave you, and how badly you are craving the same in other connections to the point you aren't able to sleep peacefully with your new connections cause internally you haven't sorted out your feelings and aren't able to fulfill what others fulfilled within you on your own. Your heart is exposing these feelings, you know what they are, let yourself be vulnerable, explore yourself and find out. Find a quiet place like cave (without snakes ofc) or some mountain to meditate and find out what it is that you are suppressing within yourself.

The depth of your relationships relies on you finding who you are

4. What is it that you aren't seeing or doing about your relationship?

First of all I am getting a storyline here, maybe there's a lot of lies and gossip mongers in (idk why I wanted to say in you or inside you, maybe its just the voices in your head) and around your circle, lying to you about your relationship. Like try putting less emphasis on these friends or community or family members. Honestly test them, cause I feel like they are here with you, standing for you because of your money only and these people won't last long, once you stop helping them. I am also getting that there's a lot of gossip in these groups about your past relationships and ex connections. There's someone you aren't seeing yet, this gossip monger is investigating in your life and telling all this info to these circles. Once you stop putting so much emphasis or investing into these circles, the value of these rumours would fade away and this person will be left with emotionally manipulative ways and tactics with which they will try to repeat again and again just for the sake of getting popular or keep telling the same tale in hopes of someone noticing them. Nothing but a bunch of lies and hoaxes. Let them bring about the misery to themselves. Let them stay restless and let them keep crying your name till endless nights while you sit back and relax. Maybe you are investing way too much in these mid-ass friend circles to whom this person is also trying to enter by breaking the fourth wall through the info they have on you. And trust me all these friend circle and communities they seem really self serving, selfish, immature and childish energies. If they are being immature with you why care about investing your time, money, energy and affection in them, they don't seem mature enough to understand, you seem like the type to give a shot to these friends. Why just stop doing so and say goodbye 👋🏻.

5. How is the lack of depth in your energy affecting your relationships?

I am seeing a storyline here again. So pile 4 you guys could be some sort of writers, or people with imaginative and creative vocations or mostly storytelling, or writing pursuits.

Anyway I see that there's someone, (could be a person in their feminine energy, can a male too) who is unwilling to see the reality or dark side of the situation as the truth of the matter. They are clinging to this energy of a healer, or clinging on to this healing energy quite tightly, they could be a healer themselves, it seems like they have been clearing a lot of karmic debts recently. This person could be really good at understanding their losses and accepting the truth of the situation and even transmute their energy as a compassionate soul but seems like its hurting their ego as they progress to see truth, the ego of wanting everything to be exactly the way they want to preserve it, they could be losing sone sort of possesion property or literally a child, they aren't willing enough to see the changes, as watching the things they love go away drives them to insanity, to the point they could be locking themselves up in a bubble, seeing the reality for what it is but not accepting it. They are wrathful against whatever that reason because of which their relationship is being taken away from them, whether its because of their own behaviour, someone else's behaviour or external circumstances they have no control over. They are crying over it.

I think this is a cycle that continues, until they see their own reflection in the mirror and reflect to see where they have come in life. Thus upon seeing themselves in this desperate and miserable position, this person decides to make a decision, and they decide to cut the vows, the commitment they once made, the same commitment that was keeping them stuck for all this time and they take time to introspect, reflect and understand what had actually happened to them in this journey mid way. And come back to their center to finally find the very essence of the universe within themselves and try to reunite with spirit and awaken their spark through this universe's help once again, the spark that once that had once faded that was once thought to faded or dead, where the person who thought their way, purpose and passion was all over and gone, there this person starts their journey to find their truth, their beliefs through their prayers again.

I think this lack of depth in your relationships is making you weak, it makes you cling onto people almost co-dependent on them. Its your need to protect, to cling thats what's making you lose depth in your relationships. Believe it or not, you might be someone whose presence is really healing almost soothing and comforting to the point that people wouldn't want to leave this comfort zone, but its this need to cling, to protect the people you love from change, from transformation from the chaos itself where all you end up seeing and let's just say breeding (someone here has breeding kinks) is this past version of your partner's self, not wanting to see them grow, transform, become somebody else because you are so afraid of change yourself. You hate the truth, the reality, the reality that your partner, your exes, the people you loved could ever change, I am not saying you are someone bad or manipulative who wants to keep people in their comfort zone, you are so scared of losing them, and could have based your self worth on protecting or helping out your partners to an extent you might not even realize how you end torturing the people you nurture. Its literally giving me a mama snake eating her own eggs due to hunger. Its as if you saved these egglings or these people by healing them and protecting them only to end up depending on them for your energy. Do not do this anymore. You might think you have the power to give, give, give but one day whether you like it or not, life's karma works in a way where you will not even realise how much of an energy vampire you are turning into, by loving and giving so much of your energy and letting people go when they please after taking you for granted. If you don't unlearn this behaviour of clinging onto partners, you will not even realise how quickly it will take away your own energy from self. Stop making vows just to follow them, live those vows, be discerning of when those vows are broken, don't wait till your spark dies out.

I think its a friend group in this case, an immature circle who are constantly killing you and your spark and passion for life, and it seems you aren't willing to see their dark side. Omg pile 4.

I think your answer is right, cut-off from these fake-listed friends, find your peace, live your truth, why you tryna be with them, be like them, girl just leave stop getting angry on other people's behalf, stop taking their beliefs, you are not them, they are not you. Stop taking a stand for them and let them live their life. Let them go, make mistakes and do whatever they want to do. Let it go. Stop interfering in other people's lives and taking stand for them, you are committing spiritual bypassing, let people learn from their mistakes. Do not stand for them. Let them learn on their own two feet.

Just leave them, stop coddling a bunch of adults. Stop being so overly protective of others that you won't even let them grow.

6. What else can you do to navigate through your love life smoothly?

Right off the bat, I see an inability to move on from lovers, family, friends, enemies and classmates, and it seems like there's a lot of external influences in your relationships. Like a lot of third party energy in here. I am getting the world in reverse, this could be chasing that half baked dream, having achieved nothing in life, so you run in circles. What I see here is you unable to confront yourself and your own fears of leaving behind your friends, family, co-workers and all sorts of people, and then feeling for every one, every little being, every creature , every little person. Just stop, stop ok. Do you even know all these properly, even if you know everything there's to know about these people, does that make you close to them, or does that make you knowledgeable. That's it, you haven't connected with them on a level where they'll reciprocate your feelings for them the same way you would. Suppose you got transmigrated to your fav manga, do you know these characters yes, maybe you do know the tea, but did you connect with them, did you feel for them, did they give you back the same in return. That's my question to you pile 4, you act like you sort of know or understand people based on your knowledge of human psychology or tarotology or astrology or biology or anatomy but that doesn't mean you have connected with them, formed a bond with them. These people cannot be obliged to fill your emptiness just because you know them, and they have known you. If they haven't connected to you the way you have, you don't need to reciprocate further than how much they reciprocate.

Maybe that's why you were asked to become more vulnerable to feel people and form bonds with them and connect with them rather than relying on your knowledge about them. That's not how it works. If you don't express your love, feelings, efforts you have put on people and aren't brave enough to let them go when they tell you to do so, how will you ever find someone who will someone who will reciprocate your love, your feelings and your efforts. Knowing somebody doesn't mean you have connected to them, making efforts to know them doesn't mean they owe you something. You should be smart enough to discern when to let go of a person who doesn't want to let go and is clinging to you, your energy, your time and your attention mercilessly at your own cost. Let people go, don't let them latch onto you or attach to you or your energy you don't deserve this.

Please understand that if you haven't built a proper foundation with someone, you cannot expect them to know you as well as you do nor reciprocate you in the same manner. Please stop staying stuck in a loop of depression, chaos, shouting against this injustice. Just speak up, express your feelings, draw your boundaries and leave them. Don't engage with them, hate on them, or exact revenge from them, its just restless. Take your big sis's advice.

And instead of looking at all the investment you made in your relationships and pondering over it all sadly and recollecting those past stories, and reliving those feelings and emotions, focus on yourself, your own self care routines, exercises, hobbies, passions and things you would love to do. Take the risk and do what excites you, pursue your dreams.

Pile 5

1. Confirmations :

Yung kai - blue, lose you love me -selena gomez, Baymax, Axe, Quantico the series, Gunshot,Blood Loss, Bongola Bongo Cha cha cha, "Hit the Intelligent button Todd that's right" I channeled this, J Cole fan, someone here in this pile could be in midst of feud, Obsessed - Mariah Carrey,YSL, MySQL,SQL server, number 9,6,3, September,March, June, August, May, letters: S,Q,L,X

2. How deep is your relationship with each other?

Immediately I am getting the word "abuse" (excuse me?). As I can see in your previous relationship whatever relationship this is /was. You made the right choice by walking away despite missing this person from time and time again. It must have been really hard to let go of your past lover ("someone who was berating you with comments you didn't deserve to be abused with"). The universe is thanking you for choosing to leave this( "stay at home dad") dead beat person alone. After they had trampled on your emotions. And thank you for realising you were hurting yourself,( "I needed to lose you to love me " ) by keeping this dead beat around. ("Lazy ass lying about" iam channeling, don't shoot the messenger)

Thank you for leaving this person behind. Idk why I am channeling for someone named Stacy or maybe somebody being yelled at for telling their dead beat stay at home husband to buy pads for them. Thank you for leaving this abuser.

Thank you for standing up for yourself and speaking up. You may be feeling miserable right now, but that's just because you were learning and got manipulated into aligning to this attention seeking, Gen-Z spirit (could be younger than you) that you have ended up (unfortunately) successfully manifesting this misery for yourself. Its okay look up, there's light out there, there's hope out there, go and achieve whatever you want. You may feel undeserving of it but learn to trust and believe in yourself despite all those long years of successfully possessing (you could be possessive of your partners) this person and realizing that it only ended up in you attracting more misery and chaos for yourself. You may still have that competitive spirit in you, so go for it, it isn't late to make those "wish upon stars" dreams come true.

Good job finding peace again. It must be a long battle of survival. You can rest here if you want 👇🏻

3. How can you look for depth in your relationships?

"By expecting princess treatment and by expecting yourself to be guided by others"

This is such a weird message but seems like you need to understand how to listen and obey a good advice diligently with discipline to achieve good results in life. It seems like you are the type who always needs someone telling you what to do, or someone addicted to enabling relationships, enabling dynamics and some enabling tarot readers to tell you how to live life and experience it. I am someone who is personally against telling people how to live their lives. So if you are an impressionable mind or a minor, do not interact. This reading isn't for you. Please leave.

Anyways, following up the Sabrina Carpenter song, please please please, the depth you need to look for in relationships by observing the amount of times you needed to pretend to somebody else to save face for the sake of your family. How you had to sacrifice your finances to support this family member and to show the outsiders that your family has the money, the time you had to force your smile in public to act like you are in a happy relationship and everything's alright. The time you had to play hide seek with everyone around you including your partner despite living the worst "nightmare come true". Watching your entire family celebrate while your mental, emotional and spiritual health was breaking down.

You know how to find depth in situations like these, becoming so accustomed to truth that all you see is truth in life and see things for what they actually are. That's what you need, not a last minute fix, you need to align with the truth, live in truth and see truth for what it is rather than sulking into depression all the time your feelings get hurt. Stop being so attached to the feelings of the past to the extent and point that you keep deluding yourself with the feelings of attachments and keep pulling yourself down just because one or two people are pulling you down.

Educate yourself on gaslighting, toxic behaviour, and how to draw boundaries with people. There are free resources available to do that. You could have stayed in a toxic relationship for so long that now you go or sulk into depression every time someone says something that triggers your trigger buttons and bam! you are sad. Stop doing that. Recognize your own patterns that you follow in relationships and don't get comfortable with abuse if that's what your past made you comfortable with, (be careful with the next partners that feel comfortable to you guys) . Fight against those trigger patterns with knowledge and never put yourself in this situation ever again where you end up sulking into a severe depression and become paralyzed with fear to even stand up for yourself.

Only true knowledge can help you to fight back without literally fighting or making anyone else know your vulnerabilities and trigger buttons. Please recognise the people who make you pretend/fake your entire self and life to the point of mental illness, and educate yourself with proper weapons to properly fight back.

You need to train your mind in such a way that it realises how people/partners around you are trying to trigger you and understand who to ignore and who to fight against. Educate yourself and your mind to quickly come forward to your rescue with what someone's implying and what their actual intentions are than to succumb to depression and letting these words break their spirit. Once you start recognizing abusive behaviour in people, and the difference between normal and abusive behaviour, only then can you look for depth in your relationships. You could be someone very accustomed to toxic behaviour almost considering that as a comfortable feeling within men.

4. What is it that you aren't seeing/doing about your relationships?

"Merciless cards" idk seems like to you, nothing's more scary than watching or listening to the truth. These cards are not being merciless to you. They deliver truth to you or whatever the law of karm and Universe needs you to understand at the moment. They work on the ancient wisdom of the Universe, so you are often being told what needs to be known to you. These cards are coming through for you as guidance, please take their messages if their messages resonate with you. Whether your brain knows it or not, your heart knows it too. You can or will feel this message resonating if this is your truth. If not, leave, stop taking unbridled appreciative statements as a form of validation. I'm not here to validate you.

You don't or want to see /value the efforts of your inner self's gentleness and kindness, (I'm getting inner giant self). You don't value the genuineness within you. It seems like the truth that could balance you and your life out and set you free from these compromising situations is hurting you. I don't know but all of a sudden, after I wrote, I am not here to validate you, I was being pushed to be nice or something. Iam getting that some of you could have been pushed too far into being nice, mediocre and nothing more a effing daruma doll 🪆, seems like even the layers inside you were traumatized into becoming a people pleaser. It seems like you were forced into being this frickin barbie doll, this is so sad, heartbreaking and this molding is something my energy hates a lot, I can see why I can become full swing annoyed with you if I met you in my personal life cause I am not someone like that, I never did fold myself for other's needs, either hid myself and became strong enough to express it or stayed hidden till I got/ made a place to vent it all out. This seems like a person who was made out to be this way, someone who was manufactured into something appeasing and breathtaking or jaw dropping in everyone's eyes only to have their own real self being compromised. This is so sad pile 5

"I see you, I understand your pain " maybe you have said these words way too many times to too many people ("problems" maybe they were problematic people who were continuously abusing you) without them ever seeing or understanding your pain. This could have happened too many times and again it's heartbreaking for you having to go through all that. Oftentimes if you don't have a proper defence mechanism or a proper sense of your sense of self, people end up thinking that their trauma mechanism is their sense of self which is not even true. Dear Pile 5 just because you weren't allowed to react towards the pain, sorrow or problems in your life the way you would normally react to since childhood, you could have turned out to be either A) overreactive towards every minor little inconvenience or B) extremely suppressed to even talk about problems

I am getting B) it is. You could have problems speaking up, saying your mind, speaking and living your truth for yourself. There could have been people around who manipulated you into succumbing to this shell, this limit and this potential from where you could only dream of the skies, and ask yourself who would you actually be if you were allowed to see things naturally without these shells or walls on you. You feel suppressed to talk about your problems cause you don't want to appear broke, problematic or messy on the outside. But the truth is simple, you are hurt, you are broken, you are messy, you can be problematic, everyone is. What's the problem in telling that out loud? Its relatable, understandable, and might not be what people might assume about you on the outside but what's the problem in breaking this shell open and letting people, some may call you weak, some might like to dismiss this part of you, why be sad at them? Why go depressed? Why make an effort to make them understand something? Girl why do we got to do all that?!! Be confident in your flaws baby girl, just let them see it. You are unique, you are different, that's much better than everyday manufactured you. C'mon now. Be confident in you. If someone criticizes your flaws and shuns you for being you, its their thingy, why give them so much power over yourself. Go and talk to the next person! Who knows, maybe they might turn out to be nice. Why miss your whole life on partners and people who want average ping pongs and not the unique you who is different and filled with flaws and scars of experience! And this is not to say the people they choose are npc or something, this is to say that all of them are as average and as beautifully smexy as you are but at varying degrees, then why waste so much of your time on chasing people who see nothing but flaws in you girl. Why let the pain of the truth cut you so deep, when it exists to set you free? Your flaws may not attract certain people but it might attract completely your kinda people towards you.

Oh God, what you aren't seeing or doing in relationships is letting your guard down, letting people see your flaws and instead of taking their judgement to your heart, becoming a judge of their character and communicating your problem to them and if they don't understand it and continue to disrespect it. Leave it girl/boy, why you sulking? When your insecurities are the very things making you unique. Stop it! You need help if you think you gotta change anything about yourself. Like c'mon girl/boy you okay?

Take charge of your own emotions, don't let others hurt it, understand that your insecurities ARE NOT A PROBLEM. Be genuinely happy and respectful towards who you are. Only then can you actually work in partnership

Absolutely feel the rain on your skin, no one else can do it for you, no one else, no one else. Feel the rain on your skin.

Feel life through your skin, see its colours through your eyes, go and experience love the way you would like to, not through these inhibitions, doors, or walls someone or this society has offset on you. Instead of taking up other's words and judgement listen to your heart, is this what you want. Become an emotionally balanced person no matter what thick and thin comes your way in relationships. The only person you don't see when it comes to relationships is YOU baby girl YOU 💋😘.

Don't try to make it work at places where you get constant heartbreaks. Disrespect doesn't equate to explanation. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone. And yeah there could have been a third party situation in your relationship. Why focus on a person who keeps prioritising third party over you, not for you.

5. How is this lack of depth in your energy affecting your relationships?

Okay Pile 5, I'm noticing this from the start that your cards have been pretty straightforward and the messages are crisp. I see that you may be someone who loves to thrive on illusionary happiness if not real one rather than see the truth for what it is. You remind me of a friend I had , she was someone who relied on the illusion of happiness that her abusive husband might change one day, despite all the pain she went through. When the party's over by Billie Eilish might resonate. Its as if you would rather fight with your partner in a relationship and get hurt than leave. You find it hard to detach from people who hurt you. Maybe because you are in constant effort to make them like you or understand them.

I don't know why I am getting a father wound here or daddy issues. Its as if there's someone who's unable to forgive themselves for defying or standing against their authority figures or a father figure,( I'm also getting a father figure employee) The depth that you could lack could be, not being able to see yourself for who you are/were naturally (in terms of stamina, strength, power or regality something), and burning out your own energy for others, this isn't fair pile 5.

I feel like there's a warning here, idk there's a warning here of some sort, you are being asked trust the unseen, and let them lead your way towards your soulmate. Some of you could have a Divine Love contract, the purpose of this is to love, understand and grow in life. There's something about letting God do the thinking instead of you controlling all the masts. I see they are not sending this divine connection on your way for a reason. There's something about losing yourself, burning out completely due to suffering, fighting and struggling so much with the Divine himself for control.

Let it rain, let life happen, you are here to experience it not control it.

I'm legit feeling Lana Del Rey's sweet voice soothingly singing "I'm on the run with you my sweet love, There's nothing wrong contemplating God, under the chemtrails over the country club"

I'm getting that someone here hates God or doesn't wants to believe in him, especially His silence. Its as if they are do not like the silence behind their divine lover or their future spouse or their next future lover messages. You might be real eager to know who this person is, without even working on yourself. Or maybe you are here with this expectation, BYE BYE

Anyways your lack of depth in your energy could be due to you staying stuck in your comfort zone. I am getting "travel" , it feels like you are being asked to release this need to control, self sabotage, seek validation and find answers but instead sit and meditate in His energy and come back home in yourself rather than finding it through external means. "Keep your workspace or home clean". "Homestuck Ballet" you can't practice ballet in home or a small room, try getting out for some fresh air, now now be a little like Quasimoto and Merida, if there are strict restrictions on going out, then break those rules a little and have your well deserved break among nature . Maintain your Work - life balance. Keep a maid if you want.

Homestuck Ballerina could be significant for you.

6. What else can you do to navigate through your love life smoothly?

Idk why but I am getting Princess Mononoke, (Ghibli studios) where the lady workers are telling me, "chalo bhatti chale" which means common let's get to the furnace. And there are two cards that popped out of the archetype deck. Spirit is telling me They aren't extra. But a part of your lesson or insight maybe that you will take with you today. Idk something about this connection is deeply connected to Divine's plan on a collective consciousness maybe. I am seeing someone drowning their better judgement or logical discernment, due to their emotional weakness or emotional state. Iam getting heavy Pisces and Cancer energy. But I see someone drowning in their emotions letting their mental logic drown despite being right. It feels like a subconscious or unconscious energy that is emotionally drowning your mental judgement.

This message is specifically for people who feel a twin flame like connection with a significant other, please understand that these soul contracts or soul connections are promises or vows your souls have made, these connections can only thrive when you can let go and allow fruit to ripe, that is when you allow the Divine to take their time and send you the green signal intuitively, only then do you move forward. Till then train your subconscious mind to stop drowning in emotions and forcing connection. Instead use the Sword to summon a storm that will seperate the water and the sky. Your actual goal in this lifetime could be learning how to discipline yourself and your desires rather than connecting with each other. The truth can be bitter. But your soul is here to learn. 💗

You are being asked to become an active learner in life, grow achieve adapt celebrate and expand your growth and keep aiming for higher goals to feel go and reach towards the Divine Light.

Definitely guard your heart for now, focus on healing yourself and when your heart settles down go for love again. "I think about you all the time 24x7 365 " 365 by Katy Perry. You all could be going googly eyed in love or something. Maybe be careful of restless and lustful energies trying to use your emotional energy to balance their life, basically energy vamps, Also set some standards for the kind of partner you want to manifest.

Idk I think there's some reality check needed here, maybe you are hiding your love or infatuation for this person, they could have unconsciously become your reason for happiness, but deep down this person/ you could be hurt,(for some its just you, for some its them too) I'm hearing Pasoori, oh my god, you both are painstakingly missing each other. This hurts, given how emotional Pasoori's lyrics are. It feels like both of you are stuck in this "Debbie Downer" mode. This could due to feeling embarrassed to admit your feelings to each other as it might do more harm than good.

Now either this person's committed to someone else. Or they are forced into this situation due to strict parents. One of you had to let go. Though it does seem like you both are ready to fight tooth and nail over this, cause you two or maybe its just your energy are possessive lovers. But I think the message here is to cultivate the patience and discipline so that both of you or just you end up trapping the other in your effort to successfully salvage your ego by reviving this connection.

[machiavelliancrypt]

i.......dunno about this album yall. I'm ngl. I'm just ....yeah I'll come back when it's over

[katyspersonal]

[phagodyke]

woke up feeling ruffff but took my meds and went back to bed for a while n I feel a bit better

[pierregazly]

simply a joke ꨄ lewis hamilton

lewis hamilton x assistant!reader

warnings: smut, unprotected sex, oral (f!receiving), lewis was pining and reader was oblivious [1.6k words]

request: 🌶 I would request for Lewis Hamilton and [20. “I’m gonna fuck you so good you forget all about that bastard.”]

The bill was placed down on the table, the waitress giving you a sympathetic look as she openly asked whether it would be cash or card.

“You don’t mind paying right? I’ll forward you the money, just forgot my wallet of course, such a lapse of memory sometimes,” he said, an arrogant smirk on your blind date’s face while he waited for your response.

Humming in acknowledgement, you muttered that it would be on card to the waitress. 

You didn’t give him much of a chance to say anything further, bidding him a farewell the moment the bill was paid, and a denial to a second date. The shock on his face made your smile grow when you whirled around, making the trek towards your car while you contemplated how your life had even got to this point.

A quick text sent off to the only person you actually wanted to see was met with an easy ‘I’ll leave the door unlocked, see you soon’, prompting you to direct your car in the opposite direction of your own home.

Lewis was always happy to have you over, saying more than once you may as well just move in with him with how often you were there anyways. Always shrugging the comment off, you would just laugh and remind him the two of you see each other enough during the week and that you were pretty sure Mercedes would be unhappy with a driver and his team-assigned assistant living together.

“I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what they would want, actually? Full access for both of us, love,” Lewis practically had the response memorized, a shove to his shoulder the only answer he ever received to it.

Huffing as you flopped down on the couch next to the Brit, Lewis quirked a questioning eyebrow at you, silently imploring as to what could possibly be creating your current set of emotions.

“I’ve just come back from a date, what an absolute nightmare, Lew. I’ve never met someone who managed to talk about themselves more than that guy. Don’t think I even got a word in,” you complained.

A small chuckle fell from Lewis’ lips, his hand gently patting your knee with a sympathetic expression falling across his face.

“Like… am I the problem, Lew? Be honest, because I’m going insane here, I don’t think I’ve even had sex in months. I genuinely think I’m on the verge of insanity,” you said, practically begging for a response from the Brit.

Huffing, Lewis turned his gaze onto you. Looking you up and down, you felt yourself heat under his gaze. You would never admit it aloud, but you couldn’t deny that the Mercedes driver was borderline gorgeous. 

“I think if all you’re looking for is sex, going on a date in the outfit you’re wearing right now… well it’s not doing you any favours, really.”

Pouting at him, you looked down at your outfit while trying to decipher what was wrong with it.

He continued, “before you start, there’s nothing wrong with the outfit. You look gorgeous, really. But you’ve got the buttons up all the way to the top, the pants aren’t formfitting at all, and you’ve got incredible legs, you just refuse to wear shoes that accentuate them. You’re dressed like you’re going to a business meeting, not like you’re going on a date with the intention of being taken home after.”

He emphasized his words by coming closer, flicking open the top four buttons, allowing the top of your breasts to peak through, the lacy bra you were wearing visible to the open-eye. 

“You don’t get it, Lew. Sure, I could wear a shirt that shows off my breasts, pants that accentuate my ass… but I don’t just want sex. Sure, yes, I want sex… but I want to be taken seriously, I want to be taken on a real date and actually enjoy myself.”

“I could give you both, but you keep denying my offer,” he shrugged his shoulders, turning his attention back towards the television.

Trying to wrap your mind around his words, “You act like your offer is ever serious, Lew. We both know it’s a joke.”

“You’re the one who says it’s a joke and that I’m not being serious. Not sure what else I’m really meant to say that’s going to make you believe me, love,” he said.

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. He had been making jokes like this for years. It was easy to assume they were comments he made with everyone, his personality naturally flirtatious.

Your body moved on instinct, pressing yourself closer to him as you contemplated your next words.

“Can I kiss you, then?”

He didn’t give a response before he was pressing his lips to yours, his hand instantly pressing to the back of your neck, tugging you closer to his body. His lips were soft, his tongue wet as it pressed gently at your lips, begging for an entrance. 

A soft moan fell from your mouth when Lewis pulled your body on top of his, your legs encircling his waist. You ground your core against his, a rumble of a groan falling from Lewis’ own lips, his head falling back against the couch behind him.

“God, baby. I’m gonna fuck you so good you forget all about that bastard, about fucking all of them, I swear.”

The whimper that fell from your lips was unintentional, your body subconsciously grinding down against the hardness growing between his legs; the pit in your stomach growing, the desire for him so prevalent in your actions.

You had never realized how much you truly wanted this, how much you wanted those comments you thought to be jokes, to be real.

“That better not be a joke, Lew,” you moaned, his lips pressing to your neck as he guided your hips back and forth over his lap. 

You felt your back hit the couch, Lewis’ body crawling over top of yours as he began kissing down your body. The buttons on your shirt having come undone at some point making it easier for the Brit to continue his ministrations across your skin.

Looking up at you imploringly, his tattoo-covered hand tugged gently at the waistband of your pants, a silent question in his eyes. You nodded eagerly, lifting your hips slightly so he could tug the offending material off.

He lightly nipped at your hip, pressing a kiss to sooth the heated skin before continuing his actions to the other side. Small love bites, kisses, short presses of his tongue to your skin as he continued to move down your body. Lifting a leg to press a gentle kiss to the inside of your thigh, you moaned at the action.

It didn’t take long for your panties to join the discarded pants, his eyes hungrily taking in the display. You couldn’t help the self-conscious thoughts, your legs instinctively closing around his body. 

“Nuh-uh, none of that, pretty girl,” he said, his hands pushing your legs open.

A finger gently pressed to your core, parting your lips as he ran a finger through them, collecting the wetness that was seeping from you. A tiny whimper departed your lips as you watched Lewis bring the finger to his mouth, sucking the collected juices from the digit.

It was like watching a man possessed as he got in between your legs, your hands finding their way to his head as the first press of his tongue resonated throughout your body.

There was no surprise that he was skilled with his tongue, the same way he was skilled with his fingers; the same way he was skilled when he put his mind to anything else he desired success in.

His fingers moved in tandem with his tongue, pressing against the spot inside your core that had you practically keening for him, your hips pressing up against his face; the only thing keeping his mouth from drowning in your wetness was the hand he had pressed to your pelvis, pushing you back down against the bed.

A loud moan fell from your lips as Lewis sucked at your clit, a third finger joining the other two inside you, a squelching sound vibrating throughout the living space as you felt yourself hit your peak.

Your orgasm crashed through you, your legs shaking as Lewis’ fingers and tongue slowed down, allowing you to ride out your orgasm. Your head was still thrown back when you heard the sound of more clothes hitting the floor, your eyes peaking open to a view that had your mouth practically watering.

It was common knowledge that Lewis was an incredible sight. From his hardened muscles, to the pops of ink that covered his body, everyone knew he was gorgeous. But his cock? All you wanted to do was wrap your lips around it, which in time, you knew you’d be able to.

But for now? All Lewis wanted to do was press inside you, feel the way your walls pulled him in, the way your wetness coated him, the way you’d stretch so lovely around him.

“On your knees, pretty girl. I wanna’ see this lovely arse when I push inside you for the first time, been thinking about it lots.”

You were quick to do as he demanded, flipping your body over so you were on your knees, resting on your elbows as you felt the couch dip behind you.

A low whimper fell from your lips as you felt him run his length through your wetness, coating his cock in your juices before pressing the tip inside. The stretch was delicious, your body pushing back against his, begging for more.

Obliging, his entire length pushed forward, your lips wrapping around him, the wetness dripping from your core making it easier for him to slide inside.

“Gonna fuck you so good, make you never wanna leave, baby. Can’t wait to feel you cum all over my cock, been wanting to feel that for ages,” he whispered in your ear, biting at the lobe as he pulled away.

Moans and grunts fell from your lips with every thrust of his hips, his body seeking the release he knew yours could give him. The way he made you feel, the feelings his body evoked from yours; it made you insatiable, made you crave the feeling more and more. Made you regret ever believing his comments were simply a joke.

anyways. i got carried away. please enjoy (reader has a hand kink specifically for lewis as i also do sorry!!! bye!!!)

[viennakarma]

Funny Little Girl

Lewis Hamilton x Reader (+ daughter)

Summary: When Lewis' little girl gets sick while he's away, he starts contemplating.

Word count: 2.4k

Tags: female!reader, husband!Lewis, Dad!Lewis, fluff, little bit hurt/comfort, daughter is sick, Lewis is worried, hospital, not beta read

Relationship: Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Note: I wrote this in a spur of the moment at 2 am last night, no beta we die like men. It was genuinely supposed to be a blurb but my brain took over and ran with it. (Once again in my girl dad!Lewis agenda)

Feedback and comments are appreciated xx

Find me on Twitter! | BUY ME A COFFEE ☕️

Lewis was restless.

He hadn’t spoken to you since the morning, and usually, by this time you would’ve already texted him a good morning message or even a silly lazy picture.

He knew, obviously with him being away on a race weekend, it was natural that the time difference stood between you, but this time he wasn’t too far from home, just a few hours ahead, so he found it strange that you hadn’t texted him yet. He left a couple messages for you again, but they were only delivered. He tried to call once but it rang and you never picked up.

Then an hour or so later, when he was in the middle of a meeting, he got a call from you, a FaceTime call. Worried, he immediately interrupted the meeting, asking for a ten minute break and scurried off to his room.

He picked up as soon as he closed the door behind himself. On the screen, he could see you, still in your sleeping clothes, and Ivy was on your lap. Lewis stared at his daughter and from one single look he could tell she was not looking well.

“Hi, love. Sorry I didn’t answer your texts earlier…” You said first thing.

“What happened?” Lewis frowned.

“Ivy woke up a little under the weather today. She’s a little feverish.”

He looked at his daughter on the screen again, she wasn’t paying attention to him, her eyes red rimmed like she had been crying, in her hands, tightly held was Brendon the Kraken, her favorite plush toy, and her blankie. She had a beanie on and a pacifier. She was looking at the TV, not minding him or her mom.

“How’s she doing? Are you thinking of taking her to the hospital?” He asked, his heart tightening in his chest.

“Not yet, I think the fever might go down soon. If it doesn’t then I’ll take her to see the doctor,” you explained, rubbing Ivy’s shoulder as she snuggled up to you and Lewis wished he was home with you and Ivy, taking care of his little girl who was just a little under three, “how is everything going? Ready for the race later?”

Lewis bit back a comment of how he just wanted to go home to his wife and to his baby girl. How he wanted to snuggle up with Ivy on the couch with lots of blankets to keep her warm while watching silly cartoons. But instead, he smiled a little and talked about the race for a minute. He knew that if you knew he was sad, you were gonna be sad too, so he just pretended everything was fine and his heart wasn’t broken for being away from his family.

Ivy was a toddler, and he was aware toddlers were a little under the weather all the time and it usually wasn’t that big of a deal. Hell, he had been home a couple of times when his daughter had a little cold before. But every time it happened when he was away, it ripped his heart apart just the same.

“Will you keep me updated on Ivy?” He asked, looking at your sweet face on the screen.

“Of course, and if I take too long to reply, don’t rip your hair off with worry, okay?” You said with a fond smile. You gently nudged Ivy, pulling her pacifier out, “look, baby, say hi to daddy…”

Ivy looked at the screen, and her little lips turned into a pout, her eyes watering.

“Daddy! Want daddy!” She said, starting to cry as she made grabby hands to the screen.

Lewis felt like his heart was being torn open with a jackhammer, the pleading look in Ivy’s eyes, wanting comfort from her daddy and him being a couple of countries away, unable to teleport to her side to hold her.

“Shhh, it’s okay, love, daddy is coming home soon, isn’t he?” You said, trying to comfort your daughter, but she kept crying, fat tears wetting her chubby cheeks.

“I’m going home soon, sweetheart, I promise. Daddy’s gonna be there soon,” he said through the screen, but Ivy only seemed to grow even more agitated, her cries louder. He knew the fact that she was sick was probably playing a part in making her big emotions come out. He tried more comforting words, but both Ivy was agitated and you were trying to comfort as best as you could.

Lewis watched the screen for a few more seconds, swallowing a painful lump in his throat, seeing his daughter’s urgency in having him closer, her big brown eyes wet with tears and the grabby hands towards him as if he could just go home through the screen and pick her up in his arms.

“Sorry, love,” you said, picking up Ivy and she cried against your shoulder, “I’ll hang up to calm her down, okay? I’ll keep you updated.”

“If anything, anything really happens you can call me anytime.” He said, hearing your little whimpering through the screen, “love you two.”

“We love you, Lewis,” you blew him a quick kiss and hung up.

Lewis stared at the black screen for a long time, not really looking, just remembering the look on his little girl’s face as she wanted him close. He swallowed a couple times more, and he decided to text his dad and stepmom to go check on you and Ivy if they had some free time back home.

He went back to his pre-race meeting with a pit in his stomach. He had to make an herculean effort to be present on the race weekend and not let his mind wander back to you and Ivy. He checked a few more texts, and you kept him updated every once in a while. First telling him you got Ivy to eat something, then you sent him a picture of Ivy taking a nap on your chest, and she looked a little better, but you told him she was still a little feverish, but luckily her temperature hadn’t gone up.

Before going to the race, he warned one of the team’s assistants to keep a close eye on his phone, knowing you’d still be sending him updates on your daughter.

He finished the race P4, which wasn’t a bad finishing position but as soon as he was out of the car, he was thinking of Ivy again. When he checked his phone, your last text had been before the race started, a quick selfie wishing him good luck, but after that, there was not a single text from you, and he started worrying all over again.

“If my wife calls or texts, I need you to interrupt anything I’m doing and get the phone to me, okay? No matter what,” he said to the assistant, handing his phone again before going out to the post race interviews.

He was only half-heartedly replying during the interviews, worried that the assistant had not gone to him not even one moment, which could only mean you had not called yet.

Once the interviews were done, he went back to the assistant to check on his phone and he saw three missed calls from you and two from his dad. His stomach instantly dropped.

“I said to get the phone to me if my wife called,” He looked at the assistant who looked like a deer in the headlights.

“I tried, Lewis! The PR lady didn’t even let me through the door. I told her it was your wife and an emergency, but…” The guy defended himself, pointing to the F1 PR coordinator, who looked at Lewis with wide eyes.

“You don’t ever do that again, understood? My family is my priority and you shouldn’t have interfered when he was under explicit orders to find me as soon as my wife called.” Lewis said, he was calm but his voice was firm and left no room for questioning. The woman only nodded, spurting some excuse and apology.

He barely waved her off before finding a secluded little room to check his phone. In the texts, you had warned him that Ivy got worse and you were taking her to the hospital. He immediately called your phone but it went straight to voicemail. He tried a couple more times before trying his dad, who luckily picked up.

“Dad? Where are they?” He said.

“I brought your girls to the hospital, they put Ivy in a room and the doctor is checking her up now. We’re in the waiting room now, so as soon as I have any news, I’ll let you know. Your wife’s phone died, so it’s probably best to talk to me.”

Lewis exhaled, still feeling nervous but a little more comforted that you weren’t alone with Ivy in a moment like this.

“Can you send me the address of the hospital? I’m going straight there. And please, keep me updated.”

After hanging up, Lewis immediately went to find the team to let them know his daughter was sick and he needed to get home as soon as possible, rescheduling the post-race debriefing. He didn’t even get back to the hotel, since he had his suitcase with him at the paddock, he just called his connections and got himself a helicopter back home.

He arrived at the hospital you and Ivy were in a couple of hours later, going straight inside and finding his dad in the waiting room, chatting with a nurse. He hugged his dad, who told him you were inside with Ivy, and the nurse took Lewis and Anthony there.

Lewis entered the room where you were, sitting before the hospital bed, and Ivy was lying on the bed, holding her plushie with one hand and holding her mom’s hand with the other. She looked the same as she had in the FaceTime call that morning. 

“Daddy!” Ivy squealed, and Lewis rushed inside, hugging her tightly, careful minding the IV drip in her arm. She smelled the same as always, baby shampoo and home. Lewis inhaled into her curly hair and kissed her cheek.

“Hi, baby… I’m sorry dad took too long to arrive. How is my baby girl doing?” He asked, gently putting her down on the bed, but she grasped his coat as if to stop him from leaving again. He leaned over the bed and pecked your cheek, “Hi, my love…”

You quickly explained to Lewis that that doctor had checked on Ivy and you were waiting for him to bring the results in. Lewis comforted Ivy for a moment, before walking around the bed to hug you. You looked tired, and he imagined you had spent the whole day dealing with a sick, fussy toddler.

“Have you eaten today?” He asked, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear.

“In the morning,” You mutter, closing your eyes for a moment, enjoying the gentle caress of his knuckles on your cheeks.

“Wanna go home to rest and eat while I stay here with Ivy?” He offered, despite already knowing your reply.

“Of course not, I’m not leaving her side,” You said, rolling your eyes and he smiled.

“Dad, will you take my lovely wife to the cafeteria and make sure she eats something?” Lewis said to his dad, who was still chatting with Ivy. He immediately accepted, and Lewis removed his own coat, putting it around you, “We’ll wait here, okay?”

You nodded and left with Anthony just as Lewis turned to Ivy.

“Are you feeling cold, baby?” He asked the little girl, who looked fussy and sleepy, rubbing her eyes as she nodded.

Ivy made grabby hands, whispering for Daddy, and Lewis got into the hospital bed with her, pulling her to lay on his chest as he adjusted the blankets around her. Her skin was still warm to the touch, and he held her close, wrapping both arms around his little girl while she spoke about her day, whining about her day and about being sick. She was always extra clingy when he came back from his trips.

Lewis gently played with her curls while she spoke, muttering his uh-hu, and yeah, and his of course, baby, until she started slurring out the words and slowly falling asleep.

He smiled, despite the worry, he was glad to be there finally, to be with his wife and daughter.

When you came back to the room, Ivy was sleeping against Lewis’ chest just like she used to do as a newborn, Lewis gently rubbing her back and getting drool in his shirt. You handed him a coffee, and he drank without moving a muscle so as to not wake up your little girl.

The doctor came a few minutes later, checking on Ivy and making sure she was fine and the fever was subsiding, he said it was just a little cold and prescribed a couple of meds.

Lewis carried your little girl to the car seat, while you hugged Anthony goodbye and thanked him profusely for keeping you company when you were going to the hospital earlier. After that, you went home driving, Lewis in the passenger seat.

Arriving home, Lewis carried Ivy to her little bed, tucking her in and touching her forehead to make sure the fever was really gone. When he returned to the bedroom, you had taken a quick shower and was dressed in soft, comfortable pajamas.

“How are you, love?” He asked as you walked lazily up to him and he wrapped his arms around your mirror, pulling you into his chest.

“Just a little tired…” You mumbled, and he pecked your lips, walking you back towards the bed.

“Thank you for taking care of her today, love. And I’m sorry I wasn’t there for most of it…” He whispered affectionately into your skin.

“It’s okay, you had work… I’m glad you came straight home to us.” You muttered as he placed you in bed, tucking you in.

“I love you,” He tugged your hand and kissed your knuckles.

He let you fall asleep while he took a quick shower too, changing into PJs before going to check on Ivy again. The doctor had assured that the medicine would take her out for the night, but she’d be totally better the following morning.

When he got in bed with you again, pulling you closer, his arm around your middle, his leg between yours and your face pressed into his chest, he finally breathed. He had been tense the whole day from being away from you and Ivy, worry gnawing at him, and guilt for being away in moments like these. Not only tough moments like this, but also the happy ones. He wondered what else he’d miss of Ivy growing up, and he had missed so much already.

That was the first time he truly contemplated retirement. 

[1800i-dont-write-fanfiction]

If we take solavellan in genuine good faith

Solas fell so deeply in love with Lavellan that he truly wanted to stay with her. Against his plans. despite his reservations. Forsake his duty. Because she did change everything.

So deeply enthralled and completely

Captivated

A person can be cold because really opening up your heart and mind is dangerous. And solas struggled to keep himself from giving too much away. she made him want to be the best parts of himself. he COULD NOT stand to be dishonest with her, he literally would not “lay with her under false pretenses” because she meant that much to him. It was an affront to her!!! He didn’t want to be anything other than honest, or himself, with her.

she broke down his defenses so completely that if he allowed her to come with him, she would change his mind. because he could not stand to fulfill his plans AND love her. how could he destroy something so important to her and watch her grow to resent him? or even yet, how could he stay connected to the part of him that loves so deeply AND tear down the veil, knowing what it would cost? I do think Solas wanted to be stopped.

“I would not have you see what I become” please please please trust me here I will hate myself even more knowing I am the villain in our story I don’t WANT to hurt you I have no choice I HOPE you will come to understand and still see me for who I am or was or can be in the end because your esteem means that much to me your empathy is devastatingly horrible “it would be kinder in the long run” I know I am going to hurt you but I can’t help but love you I worship you I would give you the world if I could. i will be in agony for the rest of my existence type shit

[gay-dorito-dust]

hii, sorry to bother!! but if ur requests are open could you do something w the reader having a nightmare and the batboys having to comfort them? Kinda like the opposite of ur other post please, TYSM!!

Another request that i write while half asleep, I tried to think of something for Dick but I might’ve used the last of my brain juice tbh, today at work was defiantly…something to say the least.

Jason

‘You’re okay, you’re okay sweetheart I’m right here, nothings going to get you.’ Jason would reassure you as he held you tightly in his arms, keeping you pressed to his chest as close as he could.

‘It felt too real Jason.’ You cried into his neck, clinging onto him as though if you’d let him go he’d disappear, you recently had a nightmare of Jason leaving you and you were too helpless to stop him from doing so that you woke up in a fit of tears, clinging onto him in desperation.

‘I know sweetheart, I know but you know that I’d never do anything like that, ever,’ Jason started as he pressed a couple of kisses to your forehead to sooth you, ‘you’re unfortunately stuck with me chipmunk.’ He adds and you couldn’t help but smile at the thought of being with Jason for the rest of your life.

‘Sounds like heaven.’ You sighed, kissing his neck as he chuckles.

‘You sure you won’t get bored of little old me?’ He asks teasingly but his eyes looked at you as though to ask if you were being genuine about being with him. He wouldn’t mind being with you forever for that was his own personal slice of heaven in of itself.

‘I’m very sure I wouldn’t because you always make every day worthwhile.’ You tell him as you nuzzled your head further his neck and intertwine your legs with his own, trying to get closer to him as your physically could.

‘Good because that’s how I feel about waking up to you every morning sweetheart.’ Jason said suddenly serious as he rubs his thumb against your side softly. ‘That me in your dream? Isn’t me because why would I run away for the one person who has ever made me feel truly…alive…the one person who didn’t treat me as though I was on the cusp of snapping.’ He then moves his head so it could rest against your own and pressing a small kiss to your nose. ‘You’re all the more reason for me to keep doing what I do if I am to ever get that forever with you sweetheart.’ He adds in a low whisper as soon enough you were both fast asleep, cuddled closely to one another as though terrified to first apart from one another, akin to that of a pair of otters going downstream.

Damian

‘Those nightmares won’t get to you anymore my treasure.’ Damian said as he held your hand firmly in his own, squeezing it periodically while giving you the space to control your breathing and focus on the reality in front of you, rather than the fantasy your mind took when you slept. ‘They cannot affect the reality of which we live in.’ He adds on.

‘It still felt all too real to be a dream.’ You tell him after having only gave him very vague responses to his questions about what it was that you saw in your dream, or rather nightmare was the more fitting word.

Damian sighed as he guided your hands to hold his face and keeping them there by having his hands cover your own, his thumbs caressing your writs as his emerald eyes looked deep into yours. ‘What about this?’ He asks.

‘What about this?’ You replied, confused.

‘If what you say is true, then does this feel too much of dream to be real?’ Damian said as a silence befell you both as your eyes flickered across his face, taking in every one of his features that you adored so much and found yourself slowly being to relax.

‘No,’ you began, thumbs stroking his cheeks, as the nightmare seemed to get further and further away from you the more you focused on the man right in front of you who’s presence alone was enough to make you feel safe and comforted, ‘it feels…right.’ You finished as you felt the last of your nerves calm down.

‘Then this is what we’ll do from now one when one of us had nightmares.’ Damian said as he allowed your fingertips to map out the expanse of his face with featherlight touches that left him wanting to melt into your hands. ‘Reminds each other of what’s real and what’s not.’ He adds as you cuddled into his side, head resting against his chest to listen to his heartbeat as it lulls you back into a peaceful slumber with Damian watching over you.

[wands-natsthing]

𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐁𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐌𝐲 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬

HEYYYY HIII HELLOOOO long time I KNOW IM SORRY LSKDKD AND I KNOW I SAID THE WEEKEND BUT I GOT SICK

buttt just to give a lil info, since it has been so long since I updated I put the last bit of chapter 2 at the beginning of this just as a refresher I guess!! And more overall story info (R=23) (W=30) (N=34)

I also wrote kinda like a Wanda’s POV of what happened in the janitors closet so let me know if you want that!!

Feedback is more than welcome!! I love reading all your comments they make me feel like my writing isn’t shit 🤓 and they make me smile :)) I also tried to make this as open as possible this is for everybody!! (I hope I worded that right) I mean as in there rlly no descriptions of r

Warnings: I really don’t think there are any besides maybe it starts to seem a little homewreckery BUT ITS NOT I PROMISE!!

Word count: 1.3k

Summary: You guys come out the closet and have lunch idk

"Who's the woman standing outside the door with you?" you asked.

You can tell Wanda hadn't been expecting your question by the way her eyes widened.

"Oh um, that's Natasha, After you graduated I started teaching a co-taught English class and well she's the co-teacher." She paused before confirming the suspicion you had earlier. 

"She's also my wife…" 

Your heart dropped. 

“Your- your wife…You got married? You ask with a tremble in your voice. 

“Yeah, I did um just a few years ago…” 

“Oh- that's uh, that's cool. Um, congratulations.” 

Wanda’s smile faltered slightly as she sensed the mix of emotions swirling inside you. The joy in her eyes seemed to dim ever so slightly, replaced by a hint of concern.

“I know it’s a lot to take in,” she said quietly, her voice softening. "Maybe we could talk more about everything over Lunch?"

Your eyes snapped up at that. The thought of having lunch with her again all these years later was just too enticing to pass up, no matter how many messing feelings it brought again.

"Lunch? Are you- are you sure?" You asked with a hopeful smile on your face.

"Yes, I'm more than sure. I am positive." She reassured you with a gentle touch of her hand running up and down your forearm.

"Okay, then yes I would love to."

"great! What about this weekend at 1:00 at the cafe we saw each other last week? (a/n: Its Wednesday)

"That's perfect!"

"Okay good then it's a date." She said scrunching her nose up in a way that always made your heart melt.

Date.

"I am so sorry, but I better get back, can't leave Natasha by herself for too long with all those parents and kids out there, But I can't wait for our lunch date!"

Date. There goes that word again.

“Yes, of course, I’m sorry for keeping you for so long,” you replied, trying to shake off the rush of emotions swirling in your mind.

Wanda smiled warmly, as if she could sense the turmoil within you. “No need to apologize. It’s nice to catch up, I've missed you."

You both stood there for a moment, staring into each other's eyes. The bustling sounds from the school faded slightly as you locked eyes.

“Alright, I better get going,” she said after a pause, and you could hear the softer undertones of sadness in her voice. “But I’ll see you this weekend, okay?”

“Yeah, I’m really looking forward to it,” you replied, offering her a genuine smile.

Wanda gave you one last look, her expression revealing a mix of excitement and a hint of uncertainty before she opened the door of the janitor's closet.

You took a deep breath, calming your racing heartbeat. You had so many thoughts swirling through your head but at the same time, you felt as if you couldn't think.

As you finally turned to head out back to your car, you felt a strange sense of hope take root inside you.

You couldn’t help but replay the moment in your mind, the surprise of learning she was married mixed with the thrill of the upcoming lunch. It was complicated, but one thing was clear: you wanted to explore this. No matter how much it might hurt in the end.

The rest of the week felt like an eternity. You replayed snippets of conversations you had shared over the years, moments of laughter, and even the unspoken feelings that had lingered in the air. Each thought made the anticipation for the weekend grow stronger.

Finally, Saturday arrived. You stood in front of your mirror, carefully selecting your outfit for lunch. The end of summer's warmth lingered in the air, but a hint of fall was beginning to whisper in the breeze. You chose a lightweight mustard-yellow sweater, perfect for the transition between seasons. Its soft knit hugged your figure comfortably.

For pants, you chose a pair of high-waisted, olive-green corduroy pants that offered both warmth and style. The slightly flared legs provided a retro vibe, making them an ideal choice for early autumn. On your feet, you wore your black Converse. Always a staple in your outfits.You topped everything off with a silver chain that went slightly past your collarbone and small gold hoops that reflected off the light.

Never understood the big deal about mixing silver and gold.

And a light spritz of your favorite fall-inspired perfume, with notes of vanilla and sandalwood, completed the look, a warm scent perfect for the season.

As the clock ticked closer to 1:00, doubts and anxiety started creeping in.

What if she doesn't show?

Is my outfit bad?

Does my breath smell? You make sure to brush your teeth one more time before leaving.

When you arrived at the cafe, a wave of shyness washed over you. You spotted Wanda almost immediately. She was sitting at a cozy table, her reddish auburn hair catching the sunlight, and you wondered how someone could look both familiar and new after all this time.

You exchanged hesitant glances. The soft murmur of conversations around you felt louder than usual, amplifying the butterflies in your stomach.

As you approached, her face lit up, the warmth of her smile easing your nerves.

 “You made it!” she exclaimed, standing up to greet you with an embrace that felt both comfortable and electrifying.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” you replied, taking a seat across from her.

For a moment, the air was thick with unspoken words. Both of you are unsure what to say.

Fortunately, as if sensing the tension in the air, a waitress approached to take your order.

"I'll have a hot caramel latte and a turkey and cheese sandwich, please," Wanda said with a soft smile. You returned her smile, appreciating the familiarity of her order.

Both Wanda and the waitress turned to you, waiting to see what you'd chosen.

"I'll have the same, please. Thank you."

*****************************

You sipped your coffee, the warmth seeping into your hands, trying to ground yourself. Slowly but surely the conversation began to flow just like how it had all those years ago.

It was as if nothing had changed. 

As if neither had gone through drastic changes.

Yet, even as the conversation deepened, the thought of her marriage lingered at the back of your mind and the fact that they worked together. Soon within a day, they both would be your coworkers.

Curiosity nudged at you, and you found yourself leaning in.

“What’s it like? Teaching together, I mean? That must be… interesting.”

Just like in the janitor's closet, she was surprised by your sudden question.

Though she laughed softly, easing the tension. “It is, we balance each other out. She’s all about structure, while I tend to go with the flow. It makes for some creative lesson plans."

Though you were more so wondering if they shared any lunches like the two of you did; 

You'll take it.

Gathering up as much composure as possible you try to sound as "mature" as you possibly can. “Sounds like a great dynamic,” you replied, picturing the two of them in a classroom full of students, bouncing ideas off each other.

"Yeah it is, we make a great team." Wanda smiled, her eyes lighting up.

 "You know, I would love for the two of you to formally meet."

Your heart raced and your mind went blank.

What the fuck?

"Wait...I'm sorry, what?"

Wanda repeated herself slowly, not sure how to take your response.

“Oh, um, really? Your wife?” You stammered, shocked from the sudden/not so sudden twist in conversation. "I mean are you- are you sure that is a good idea? You know, me being me?"

Wanda smiled at you comfortingly. "Of course, it's a good idea, I mean besides you were gonna meet her soon anyway with school starting Monday-"

She stops mid-sentence playing with the necklace adorning her neck, a telltale sign 

She's nervous.

"Natasha also already knows exactly who you are to me." 

♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎

𝐨𝐨𝐩 🤓

𝐋𝐞𝐦𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯!!

@nebthetautora @esposadejoyhuerta @w4ndsversew0nder

@skz-xii

[zzencat]

Why Do I Still Feel Unsatisfied? - Timeless Reading (for anyone)

When things are content and slow, going normally as one would expect, you still feel like there’s something not quite right—something missing. Now what? Are you supposed to be happy? You have everything you need…what is there to complain about? Why is life so stale? So boring? Am I doing enough in my life? What is this stagnant energy?

Note: Social media may have an influence on these feelings.

- Remember: clear your mind. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, fill up your chest to the fullest, feel the air brush against the ridges of your nose. Breathe out. Choose the photo that you can’t take your eyes off of.

——————

Pile 1. To Speed Up or To Slow Down.

You might be in denial. You try to think that you’re okay and you’re doing well enough—you have everything you need to survive, so what’s the matter with you? What’s the hold up? Are you going out on the weekends to the same places? Maybe repeating the same old routine, with or without friends? Perhaps you’re staying home and indulging in the same habits every weekend. Why are you just lounging around in the kitchen or living room with an oversized shirt and running your hands through your hair, wondering what to do now that you have time? It’s getting boring and you need some spice to your life.

Try looking into a hobby that you had interest in during childhood. Maybe you were shunned for having a such an interest. Do you do a lot of online shopping? Have you ever wanted to start your own business or clothing line? Honestly, to me it feels like you’re financially stable or on your way there and you know you will be. But it feels passionless. Maybe you had passion in the beginning and it died out. The excitement wasn’t there anymore, or maybe you had to be in this profession because you had to. To impress parents, guardians, the people around you. I feel like this group could do well with a side hustle or multiple. You seem like well-adaptable people so you could deal with the uncertainty and unpredictability. You also seem very friendly, like a team player type of person. You do what your told, and have small moments where you count as “rebellious.” Perfectionistic. My mind keeps going back to this…maybe you want to open up your own online shop? Or clothing/beauty brand or business? You might struggle when things get too quiet at a hangout with your friends or other people, maybe feeling pressured to say something or lighten the mood. For some reason, it’s always your responsibility to do something. Who put that on you? Where did you learn that from? That you should take charge and try to do something or else it’s your fault? Why do you feel inclined to do that? These would be good questions to think about.

The Challenge For You: Pick up a hobby and perfect it. It helps to record yourself working on this hobby, mistakes and all, and post it somewhere where people can see. Closest friends, family, or complete strangers. The reaction will make your more relatable and you’ll gain a lot of support. I’m seeing a soft smile and a genuine pat (“you’re doing good! you got this!” vibe) from your friends or people online. For example, “Day 1 of playing the violin” or “Day 30 of frisbee throwing”. This group seems to be heavily reliant on validation, internal or external. You need people to be there to see when you’re doing well, and people shouldn’t see your mistakes and if they do, you’ll try to move on while beating yourself up in your head. Very perfectionistic and while this helps you in your career or professional life, you should allow yourself to make mistakes, laugh about it, and be more soft towards yourself. Perhaps you got shamed for making a bunch of mistakes when you were younger, taught that mistakes aren’t okay and that you should be perfect, but all the energy here—from my spirit team to yours—is telling you that it’s okay to not get it the first time. Humans are meant to adapt and grow. There’s no fun in getting something the first time around. It’d be beginner’s luck. It’s about the journey and what you put into it that will add tremendously to your charm. It makes you human and it makes you, you. So learn to forgive yourself and build up that confidence.

Points of Interest: xxfj vibes, but mainly isfj/infj, nurse, libra, middle person/mediator, trying to get out there more, lowkey don’t want to socialize all the time but is forced to (whatever this may mean to you, take it), needing validation from others bc your own doesn’t count, suppression, “busy is good”, inner loneliness, void in heart, helping others but not yourself, “was it always this quiet or was i just used to the noise?”, slow down, hustle culture, “this is what I should be doing” (very vague, could mean different things…but this definitely applies to people in this pile), people pleaser…messy hair, in a rush, busy, busy, busy…“Damn it- why isn’t this thing working?!”, coffee, too much coffee, “dude, are you okay?”, stress, “living life in the fast lane as they say…” (for some reason, maria by justin bieber came up- we got any beliebers in here?), social media, parents, boss, workplace, Jane(?), idk why the black mirror episode called “joan is awful”, “I’ll take what I can get”, don’t want to burden other people, fear of humiliation, standards on other people are not as high as the standard you put on yourself, anxious, always moving, check, check, check…restless energy, “it’s on me”, responsibility…

———————————————-

Pile 2. “I guess…” is not an answer.

This pile floats between pile 1 and 3 but leaning towards 1. The people in this group could share many of the same doubts and feelings as pile 1. But I will say, if you felt drawn to all or any of the other two alongside this one, I suggest you reading those as well. This gives me very infp vibes. Shy but likes to/would like to dress up a bit more, follow the fashion culture, find your own style. There’s a bit of a childlike nature to this group and I’m not sure what it is. Like maybe a financial insecurity or you want to date someone really badly. Like a person who watches a bunch of kdrama’s but never goes outside OR you do go outside and you don’t have the balls to ask someone out. I’m getting couch potato but a cute one. Curled up in a blanket and binge watching in bed. Watching other people chase their dreams and goals while you’re still wondering what yours are. Do you binge-watch a lot of shows or movies? I feel confused reading this pile, as if I’m supposed to be looking for something but I’m either not mature enough or I just don’t know what to look for. Probably struggles with parasocial-ness. Very online, maybe chronically online, if I might add. Maybe you’ve never gone out on a date before. If you did, you’d be super awkward, say something dumb on accident, giggle too much, or just full on shy, laughing a lot, red faced. Do you struggle with a lot of anxiety? A lot of daydreaming or fantasizing. If your friends ask you to go out with them, you either say yes immediately or you make up an excuse of why you can’t go just to lounge at home. But I feel frustrated. I don’t know where to look. Maybe you prefer to rock out with your headphones, blast music, and have a dance party in your room by yourself. Timid. Can be sassy at times. Probably dramatic. Do you still live with your parents, by any chance? I’m getting middle class to lower upper class, maybe even upper (but a lot less so.) Kind of spoiled energy. Maybe people have done things for you your whole life or have chosen the path for you to be on already. Maybe they’ve made decisions for you your whole life.

The Challenge For You: Go outside more and be more observant of people, especially if you think you struggle with social ineptness. If you’re timid, maybe your voice is too quiet that it draws people’s attention or you’re so anxious that you do something loud or reckless that captures attention. Do you have an interest in something that you could capitalize on? Like something in the arts? Maybe you can sell art online, draw for people, get yourself out there without engaging in fights online—it’s not worth your time, I promise. Put your phone down and read a book. Find something you like outside your phone or on any of your devices. This group seems constantly overstimulated with devices that you can never just sit and stare at the wall for a minute. It would help for you to think about the future for a little bit, even if it overwhelms you. If you’re in high school, get a part time job or do research on something you like. Practice gratitude and acknowledge the things that you have that others don’t. There’s a lot of immaturity, emotionally as well, in this pile, like you haven’t figured yourself out yet and you’re just waiting for things to fall into place. If I had to sum this up, it would be to pursue something that you can’t let go of and don’t let other people decide for you. Be more assertive and work on leadership skills. Work on time management as well. Laziness could also be an issue. Find yourself.

Points of Interest: infp vibes, dreamy, pursed lips, fidgeting, immaturity, “maybe if I dress normal, I’ll look normal”, dresses in all black, oversized shirts, beanies(?), don’t bring attention to me, small handwriting or circular letters, pink lead pencil, makes hearts on your “i’s”, secret romantic, easily jumps to conclusions, expectations, “daddy bought it for me”, be more thankful, ambition where?, do something you love and make a job out of it, oversleeping, “i don’t wanna think about it”, impulsivity, anxiousness, effort, purpose, going with the flow…

———————————————-

Pile 3. “Let’s get this over with.”

Feeling very much a laaaarge lack of energy here. Very drained pile—emotionally, physically, mentally, some or all. Sometimes you feel it’s tiring to keep smiling, like you have to force it to seem okay. You’re in need for some warmth in your life, maybe some hugs or people telling you they’ll be there for you (and mean it), but you may or may not express this need to people; I’m mostly feeling that you keep to yourself a lot, not wanting to burden people. Very introverted energy, like “I’m just here” energy. If you go out, you don’t talk a lot or you need a drink/substance to help you loosen up and talk/act. Are you always tired? Staying up late and staring at a screen, or struggling with insomnia? Or it’s the opposite and you sleep too much—the whole day. Lethargic energy. There’s not much to say about this pile because I think you already know what to do, you just struggle. This could be a health issue or concern that you’re not taking seriously. Are you taking vitamins? I’m getting a zombie or very sedated state. Skin losing color and dark eye bags or under eye circles. Could struggle with depression. You don’t want to be forgotten but you want to be alone. You’re okay with solitude. Maybe you struggle with motivation in general, or motivation to take care of yourself, again, health is coming up—other people could be concerned about you and they tell you or they don’t. I would take a closer look regarding your friend group and maybe reconsider who you’re letting in your world. They could be impacting you for worse. You could be good at photography or have an interest in it. Half-assing most projects or assignments. You probably answer texts late, never answer, or give really short responses. I’m getting the sense that you really just want to exist without judgment or being perceived. Like living like a ghost and move through life seamlessly. You could have a knack for pc games or computer science. Either way, take a shower. You might feel cold often or experience coldness easier than your friends.

The Challenge For You: Join clubs where you know no one. Go alone and make it a secret space for yourself and go for at least 8 months. You’ll find that it can be therapeutic. Yoga classes with old ass ladies can help since they’re just focused on stretching. Find some friends that are ambitious but unmovable, like good leaders. They could influence you to take better care of yourself. Next, find friends that actually care about you and your health, not the “do whatever you want; it’s your life” type of friends. You should visit a sauna some time or go on vacation to a warm-hot country. You could even move there and you would be even slightly happier than now. I would encourage you to seek therapy—with a GOOD therapist. Either you haven’t had the interest or time or you haven’t had a good experience with therapy at all—do not give up. Maybe a counselor at school works. If not, move onto the next option. Confide in better friends, friends that can physically help you get up and move out of your slump, not ones that encourage/enable the bad habits. It’s time to turn your life around pile 3—I seriously think that I don’t need to be telling you these things cuz you already know. You’re definitely not dumb- you just lack motivation. Talk to someone about it or find friends that force you to change your life for the better, the ones that drag you out to go to the park with them. Get out of your comfort zone and start moving. Get that blood moving around your body—someone needs to force you to run, but after a shake rich in protein.

Points of Interest: headphones (maybe AirPod max), cozying up in the corner where people can’t see you, smoking, grey skies, crows, photography, good camera, still camera, cold hands, bitten nails, blue fingers, shrugs, poor blood circulation, pale skin, eating issues (eating too little or too much), needing dopamine and finding easy ways to get it, “i don’t care”, still lack of motivation, sunshine, grumpiness, unchanged sheets, old white tank top (for some reason), your room could use some cleaning, exercise…

—————————-

That is all!! I hope you have enjoyed. Feedback is heavily appreciated and I would love to see what pile you chose in your reblogs! As a new reader, I’d like to get as accurate as possible when it comes to picking up energy and doing these readings for you. Remember to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t! Let me know what was accurate for you :) Thank you for coming to my Teddytalk today. (sorry it’s a lame joke ik jsfkdjs)

[mixingandmelting]

Hii,

I'm not sure if your requests are open but I wanted to ask you if you could write a Dick Grayson x reader one where the reader is the daughter of one of Bruce's business partners and they meet at some sort of charity gala and he's instantly smitten with her.

Feel free to ignore this if you have too much to do.

Thanks ❤️

Witty, charming, and someone who matches his humor. He didn’t think he’d hit the jackpot tonight. Initially he had simply wanted to keep you company after seeing you all alone at your table. He expected either shy and sheltered or spoiled and flirty.

“A table for one at a gala?”

“What do you mean? Can’t you see I’m actually with three others?”

“Oh really? And they are…?”

“Me, myself and I.”

It comes with a pleasant surprise how the roles reverse and it’s him getting entertained by you. He lost track of how long he stayed at your table, unable to stop himself from chatting with you. You’re where the party’s at in this boring event and it confuses him how no one else has attempted to strike up a conversation with you for this long. Not that he’s complaining; he’s plenty satisfied to have you to himself. Your jokes draw genuine laughter from him while your laughter is just as infectious. The way your eyes sparkle and crinkle as you do- he rests his head onto his hand, admiring it and not wanting it to disappear. He can’t get enough. 

There’s no barrier or rich people’s behavior seen despite you introducing yourself as the daughter of one of Bruce’s many business partners and him as Bruce Wayne’s adoptive son not too long ago. Not even an hour in and you both are acting as friends that haven’t seen each other in ages. Perhaps even more if he plays his cards right tonight. Take you out for a nice walk. Grab something to eat. If you’re into it, watch a movie. All of the ideas that come from him jesting about rich people never imagining or having no knowledge of what the common people do for fun only for you to snort about how else were you to learn to talk and behave like them then. 

“Earth to Dick?”

Oops. He flushes under the smirk that dances on your lips, caught red-handed for day-dreaming his date with you. Not that you’d know the last part, but still.

“Am I starting to bore you yet?”

Yet? This whole time you were trying to get rid of him? The grin you give as you take a sip of whatever’s in your flute tells him otherwise. Returning one of his own, he’s about to respond before someone behind him calls your name. 

Turning around are your parents, walking side-by-side with none other than Bruce who raises an eyebrow at him. Ugh. Great. He most definitely won’t hear the end of this one. Looking back at you, he catches a spark of wistfulness in your eyes that quickly disappears as you give him one last smile. 

“Seems like that’s my cue.”

“Wait.” He’s conscious with his grip on your arm, gentle yet firm to grab your attention. “If you’re into it, mind giving me your number and we can hang out later?”

You bite your lip when you’re thinking. Good to know; definitely something that won’t leave his mind for a while. He tries not to show how giddy he is when you extend your phone out towards him. Giving him a tiny wave, you leave while telling him you would text him. The rest of the night goes uneventful as he mingles with others, half paying attention to what they say as he continues to think about you. Others including his family who wouldn’t stop giving him crap. 

It’s once he reaches back to his place and comes out of the showers, he gets a text. Drying his hair with a towel in one hand, he looks to see your name with a sunglasses emoji under your number. His heart somersaults and he fist pumps the air. He can regret not sleeping tomorrow morning, for now all he wants is to talk to you and make the date between you and him a reality.

[inbabylontheywept]

Realizing in hindsight that the only reason I was so skeptical about your camp story is that being covered in a combination of crusty, sticky pink residue and rotten fish oil for days on end while sleeping on a wooden floor in the Arizona heat sounded like such unbearable sensory agony that I wanted to convince myself it was fake, because I didn't want to believe that anybody had genuinely been through that. I'd have walked out of that place with a rucksack of pink ooze and either find my way back to civilization or become crispy pink buzzard chow after day 2.

Like, legitimately, I think about my reaction to that post a lot. The imagery was so deeply unpleasant that I was desperately scrambling to convince myself it wasn't true like I'd just found out my spouse was a serial killer. There was no torture, no death, no hunger or disease, just a bunch of sweaty guys being covered in sticky fruit-flavored slime, subjected to unpleasant smells, and sleeping blanketless on the floor. And you can't even smell! You were spared a good third of it! Yet your experience still horrified me worse than any war story, medieval torture device or horror movie for reasons I cannot hope to fathom.

idk, I've had this ask stewing in my head for months, but I keep forgetting to actually write and send it. In my heart of hearts, I knew your story was perfectly plausible. I was just grasping at straws, praying for you to admit that no, nobody has ever showered in off-brand Gatorade and then not slept for 3 days while being expected to attend uni lectures. It's all untrue, a ruse, a trick, and such things could never happen outside of the cruelest depths of hell. Santa Claus is real, teachers live in the school, babies are delivered by storks, and the pink sauce incident never happened.

My mom pulls me into a warm hug after I scrape my knee. The plastic egg I found under the couch opens to reveal a piece of chocolate. A dollar magically appears under the pillow where I'd put my tooth. All is well. I am safe. The universe is kind, and whoever's running it loves me.

It's a sunny August day and I'm holding a popsicle on the swingset. I'm using my plastic dinosaurs to act out an improvised battle between good guys and bad guys as I sit on the carpeted floor. I'm playing Fossil Fighters on my dinged-up Nintendo DS in the plush brown armchair by the window.

I add the carrot nose to my snowman. Candy plops into my Halloween bag. The speaker on the classroom wall announces that school's out for summer, and we all bound out the door with wild glee, free at last.

Panting, wheezing, I drag my battered form back into the cobbled-together wreckage of my innocence, only one arm remaining with which to drag myself, blood and intestines trailing behind me as the storm rages overhead, washing my entrails downstream. I huddle underneath what remains of my once-pristine shelter from the cold and wet, pulling the shards back together as best I can as the wind howls angrily, hatefully. It's no use. It's broken. It's gone. It cannot be repaired. My innocence will never return to me. The rain seeps through the cracks and lands upon my face.

The rain is pink, I realize, and I cry.

First off: I haven’t actually been on the receiving end of this before and I have to say, it's an almost literally gripping experience. I felt this rat for the last three paragraphs.

Incredibly well done. Second: If you just didnt' want to believe, that's fine, I barely have room in me for medium fries - a grudge would just pour out the top, too much tea for my cup. But you don't have to like, gaslight yourself into thinking the story is totally normal and believable (I always stretch my stories out a little) or beat yourself up over it for months. I meant it when I said we're good, you and I. It still makes me happy to see a comment or a like or, rarely, a question like this from you.

If it's just something that pops into your mind every now and again, I dunno, don't sweat it. I'd hate to give you a complex. Did I mention that I loved that writing for this? Incredible experience.

[httpvomitello]

Oh great writer, write for me a request of the Rise turtles reacting to getting surprise kissed/booped on the nose (whatever you prefer) and my LIFE, is yours!!

Jokes take your time obvs and no rush! Love your work!!

AAAAAAAKHDKSBSKJS OMG, These kinds of comments make me so happy, seriously! You guys always have such good suggestions, that it makes me want to do everything at once. Anyway, I hope you like it! ♡♡♡♡

Unexpected Affection *⁠.⁠✧

Leo prided himself on being cool under pressure, but you? You always managed to throw him off his game.

It was a quiet night on the rooftops, the city buzzing faintly below. You had tagged along, keeping him company while the others were off in different parts of the city. As usual, he was trying to impress you, swinging his swords around in flashy movements.

“Pretty cool, right?” he said, grinning at you as he flourished his katana.

You tilted your head, pretending to consider it. “Hmm… yeah, I guess that was alright.”

Leo’s grin faltered for half a second before he dramatically clutched his chest. “Alright? That was the height of ninja excellence!”

You couldn’t help but laugh, stepping closer to him. “Alright, fearless leader, I’ll give you that.”

Before he could respond, you leaned in and kissed him right on the nose.

Leo froze, his swords clattering to the ground as his face turned bright red. “Wha—what was that?!”

You shrugged, trying to look innocent. “A little thanks for keeping me company.”

“I—you—you can’t just—” He sputtered, pointing at his nose. “You kissed me!”

“Is that a problem?” you teased, leaning in just a little closer.

Leo opened his mouth, then closed it, his brain clearly short-circuiting. Finally, he managed to croak, “Nope. No problem. Totally fine. Do that anytime.”

You grinned, patting his cheek. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

For the rest of the night, Leo was unusually quiet, and if his brothers noticed his red face when you returned, they were smart enough not to comment.

Raph wasn’t one for surprises. He liked to know what was coming, to protect his brothers and yourself too. So naturally, you loved catching him off guard.

The two of you were sparring in the lair, his massive frame towering over you as he carefully pulled his punches. “C’mon, Y/N, you gotta keep your guard up!” he said, smirking as you tried to land a punch.

“I am keeping my guard up,” you shot back, wiping sweat from your forehead.

“Not enough,” he teased, lunging toward you.

Instead of dodging, you stepped forward, catching him completely off guard as you reached up and booped him on the nose.

Raph blinked, stumbling back a step. “Did you just—”

“Boop,” you said, grinning as you tapped his nose again for good measure.

His face turned a deep shade of red, and for a moment, he looked utterly dumbfounded. Then he started to stutter, crossing his arms over his chest. “W-Why you... I m-mean... Why?”

“You were leaving yourself wide open,” you said innocently.

Raph sputtered, his blush creeping down his neck. “That’s not—ugh, this is a low blow.”

You laughed, patting his arm. “You love it.”

He grumbled something under his breath but didn’t push you away. And later, when he thought you weren’t looking, he touched his nose with a faint smile on his lips.

Donnie was in his element, tinkering with one of his many gadgets in the lab. You sat nearby, pretending to understand the stream of technobabble coming from him as he worked.

“So, by recalibrating the flux capacitor—”

“Pretty sure that’s from Back to the Future, Donnie,” you interrupted, smirking.

He paused, blinking at you over the rim of his glasses. “Uh, no, actually. This is a genuine flux capacitor. I created it myself.”

You couldn’t help but grin. He was so proud of his work, and you loved seeing him in his element. “Of course, you did, Don.”

He went back to his project, muttering to himself about the merits of his invention. You waited until he was fully focused, then leaned forward and kissed him gently on the nose.

Donnie stoped, his hand stilling mid-adjustment. His brain seemed to take a moment to catch up, and when it did, he turned to you with wide eyes. “Did you just… kiss me?”

“Yup,” you said, leaning back with a smug smile.

He blinked rapidly, his face slowly turning red as he pushed his glasses up his nose. “That was… unexpected.”

“Good unexpected or bad unexpected?” you asked, tilting your head.

“Good,” he said quickly, then seemed to realize how eager he sounded. “I mean, uh, it was… acceptable.”

“Acceptable?” you teased.

Donnie cleared his throat, turning back to his work in an attempt to hide his blush. “Don’t read too much into it, Y/N.”

But the way his hand kept drifting to his nose told you all you needed to know.

Mikey was always the one surprising you, so you figured it was time to turn the tables.

The two of you were in the kitchen, baking cookies—well, you were baking, and Mikey was mostly sneaking bites of dough when he thought you weren’t looking.

“Hey, hands off!” you said, smacking his wrist lightly as he reached for another scoop of dough.

“Aww, c’mon, Y/N, it’s a chef’s duty to taste-test!” he protested, grinning.

“You can taste-test once they’re baked,” you said firmly, rolling your eyes.

Mikey pouted, leaning dramatically against the counter. “You’re no fun.”

You laughed, shaking your head at his antics. Then, without warning, you leaned over and kissed him on the nose.

Mikey's eyes widened, his mouth falling open in surprise. “Did you just—”

“Yup,” you said, smirking as you went back to rolling out the dough.

He stood there for a moment, his brain clearly trying to process what had just happened. Then, a wide grin spread across his face, and he leaned forward, resting his chin in his hands.

“You do love me,” he said, his voice sing-song.

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t let it go to your head, Mikey.”

“Too late!” he said, laughing as he grabbed the dough and smeared a bit on your nose. “Now we’re even!”

You groaned, but you couldn’t help laughing as he darted out of reach, grinning like he’d just won the lottery.

And if he was extra cheerful for the rest of the night, no one commented on it.

[phospheneics]

unexpected care

Summary: After getting caught up in a recent villain attack on UA and badly injured, your distant co-worker Aizawa is waiting by your hospital bed to check on you. Will this unexpected care turn your relationship around?

divider by @cafekitsune

As you slowly regained consciousness, you open your eyes slowly to stare at the white ceiling before you. The memories of the recent attack start to flood your brain as you realized where you were.

"Hey, you're awake. Good."

Your head turns to see your co-worker, Shota Aizawa sitting at your bedside. You take notice of his expression. His usual serious, stern look is no where to be found and had been replaced with a more soft, and concerned expression.

"Aizawa?" you murmured, surprised to see him there.

"How are you feeling?" he questioned.

Your head was spinning. How am I doing? Why is he even here? All of these thoughts raced through your mind as your think of a response to his question. You and Aizawa are not close in the slightest. In fact, you often don't see eye-to-eye. Yet here he was, checking up on you.

"I'm doing alright.. I guess." You let out a small laugh as you replied. You definitely we're not alright. Your head was pounding from your injuries.

"Uh huh.." His gaze had softened on you. "You took quite the hit yesterday." He says, his eyes still clinging to you.

He adjusts his position in the chair, making himself more comfortable. You can't help but stare when he rolls his sleeves up and ties his hair back.

"Thank you for coming to check on me, that really means a lot." Your pull the outer edges of your lips into a smile to show your gratitude.

He pauses before replying. "I was really worried when I heard what had happened yesterday." He stops for a minute, hesitating on his next words. "I cancelled all my classes for today to come down to the hospital, I just had to make sure you were okay."

Hearing these words escape his lips, your face heats up. His words lingered in the air for the next couple days you spent in the hospital.

Throughout your time in the hospital, visits from Aizawa became a regular occurrence. He would come in periodically bringing in flowers, snacks and even books to keep you entertained.

One day, you sit up to interrupt Aizawa's reading to you.

"Hey.., Aizawa?" "I just wanted to thank you for taking time to be here with me, and for everything else you've done and ........-" You continue rambling on and on thanking him.

Aizawa listens to you ramble, a soft smile playing on his lips as he takes in your heartfelt gratitude. But as you continue to thank him, he can't help but feel a warmth spread through his chest. He had never expected to feel this way about you, but seeing your genuine appreciation touches something deep within him.

Without a word, he leans forward, his hand coming up to gently cup your cheek. Before you can react, his lips meet yours in a soft, tender kiss.

For a moment, it's just the two of you, lost in the sweetness of the kiss. Everything else fades away—the world, the noise, leaving only the feeling of his lips on yours and the steady beat of your hearts.

When he finally pulls back, his gaze meets yours, his eyes filled with a warmth you had never seen before. "You don't need to thank me," he whispers, his voice barely above a murmur. "I'm just glad you're okay."

You're speechless, your heart racing as you process what just occurred. But as you lock eyes with him, you can't help but wonder if this could be the start of something wonderful.

[izzyy-stuff]

THE NEXT STEP - HUENING KAI

bf!huening x fem!reader

in which even though you've been dating your boyfriend for months now, neither one of you could find enough courage to take it to the next level, until one night, when he shows up at your door with food to take your mind away from studying once again.

wc 3.1k

warnings yunjin of le ssera is mentioned once, established relationship, protected sex, nipple play, vaginal fingering, oral (f. receiving), squirting, pet names

izzy speaks... I genuinely don't like this much as my other smuts but whatever, I guess. I still hope you'll enjoy reading

“You guys are annoying,” Kai proclaimed, rolling his eyes as he picked up his phone, wallet, and keys to leave the dorms. “I am visiting my girl. And staying overnight, probably. I am too tired of you guys.” 

Kai sighed when the only response he got was more of Beomgyu's and Soobin's yelling while they played Mario cards on the TV. “This is exactly why I don't want to be here."

"We get it, don't worry," Taehyun looked up from his phone.

“Wait, what do you mean you are staying overnight with her?” Yeonjun questioned immediately, looking up from his phone and leaving his girlfriend on read for a second. 

Kai rolled his eyes again. “That I am sleeping at hers? What? Do you have a problem with that?” 

“Of course I do,” Yeonjun nodded. “I don’t think you’re responsible enough for that yet.” 

“Yeonjun,” Taehyun spoke up, raising an eyebrow at him. “Don’t you think you’re overreacting?” 

“To be honest, I think he is more responsible than you, and we still let you sleep with your girlfriend,” Beomgyu commented, his fingers quickly moving over the console so he wouldn't lose. 

Yeonjun was already opening his mouth to argue, but Beomgyu stopped him before he could say anything. “Don’t try to lie, we all know you’re fucking her. I have heard you,” he frowned, only leaving Yeonjun embarrassed. “He is at least doing it with none of us around. You don’t care.” 

“Okay, I did not need to hear that,” Soobin sighed, understanding why Kai would want to leave the dorm. The boys were sometimes too much to handle. 

“I am not going there to sleep with her,” Kai rolled his eyes. “If you guys are this horny, call your partners and stop caring about my love life.” 

“Don’t say that. It will be even noisier if they all come,” Taehyun whined. 

“Well, good thing I am leaving,” Kai chuckled. “I’ll see you guys at practice tomorrow. Don’t text or call until then,” he waved them goodbye before quickly rushing out of the dorms, wanting to leave as soon as possible. 

You, on the other hand, were currently in your room, working on your school stuff, having no idea your boyfriend was coming. You sighed as you finished your presentation, leaning back in your chair to rest for a minute. You looked around the room, trying to remember everything you still had to do today. 

You noticed your phone buzzing and reached for it, opening the texts between you and your boyfriend. 

kaikai 💛  babyyy kaikai 💛  are you hungry?? kaikai 💛 (≧▽≦q)  [you] You’re being cute again  >  <   [you] I am a little hungry... [you] I can’t go out, though. [you] I am working on my school stuff now :( kaikai 💛 I'll bring you some food then kaikai 💛 You’ve been working a lot  [you] I love you <3 kaikai 💛 I know you do kaikai 💛 who wouldn't kaikai 💛 I love you too though ❤

You smiled at your phone, forgetting you had stuff to do when you talked to him. That was just what he did with you. Kai always made you think about different things. Sometimes, he just made you forget about things, keeping your mind in the moment with him and nowhere else. Sometimes, he just made you think about how adorable he was.

And sometimes, at times you would never admit to him, Kai made you ponder about the nastiest things possible. 

As cute as he was, he knew exactly how to tease you. He always said the right things that turned you on, but he had no idea what he was doing because you refused to tell him.

It wasn’t like you didn't want more with him, but you were scared. Even though you knew your worries were unnecessary, your mind simply couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen if you came to him, admitting that you needed him. What if he wouldn’t want it? What if, for any reason, he would think you were weird? You weren't risking your relationship with him because of that unless he showed any signs of wanting to do more, too. 

You shook your head, getting the thoughts out of your head as you reached for your textbook, taking a deep breath before reading through the whole page. 

You turned to another page, slowly getting tired, when your doorbell rang. You smiled, knowing it must have been your boyfriend. You told all your friends not to bother you today because you were busy, so unless your landlord had some problems again, it must have been him. 

You quickly stood up and rushed to the front door, glad you finally had a reason to stop studying. You opened the door with the biggest smile as you noticed the older boy in front of you, a bag with food in one of his hands and a bottle of your favorite soda in his other hand. 

“Hey, love,” Kai smiled, walking inside your apartment. You adored it when he called you love, and he knew that. No wonder he has been using it so much lately. 

“Hi,” you greeted him, watching him walk to your kitchen and place the food and drink on your kitchen island. “What did you bring?” You wondered, walking to him. 

“Chicken,” he responded. “Yunjin mentioned before that you weren't eating much, so I am making sure you’ll eat everything today,” he proclaimed, already taking the chicken out of the bag. 

You came closer to him, hugging him from behind, which made him leave the food and turn around, hugging you back. “Cutie,” he chuckled, caressing your back. “Says you,” You mumbled. “You’re just amazing, Kai,” you breathed out. “Thank you.” 

“Always,” he whispered, kissing the top of your head. 

The two of you ate everything Kai brought and ended up in your bedroom, your boyfriend lying on your bed, watching you as you were studying your textbooks again. 

“You are pretty like this,” he commented, lying on his side. You looked amazing no matter what in his eyes, but there was something about this moment. There was something about how you focused on the book and about your hair falling in front of your eyes, making you flustered every time you tried to tug it behind your ear.

“What?” You looked up from your book at him. He smiled, just simply watching you, which made you chuckle. “What? Is there something on my face?” 

“Yeah, a cute smile,” he responded, making you blush. “It suits you, your hair like this,” he commented. “And studying too, you look pretty while focusing.” 

Your cheeks were looking like a tomato by now. You were supposed to be studying, but Kai was taking your mind away from that once again. “Well, you look adorable lying on my bed,” you confessed. “Like I want to kiss you, cute.” 

“Then come and kiss me,” he grinned mischievously. You bit on your bottom lip, slowly standing up from your chair and walking over to him. 

You kneeled on the bed, commanding him to sit up, which he happily did. You shook your head with a chuckle, cupping his cheek as you pulled him closer so you could kiss him. 

He smiled into the kiss, putting the messy strands of your hair behind your ear, pulling you even closer to himself. Instinctively, you moved even closer to him, sitting on his lap. Huening carefully slid his hands under your oversized shirt, his fingers touching the skin on your waist. 

“I love you,” he whispered, placing his forehead against yours, his breath landing on your lips. You smiled, a genuine smile full of love. “I could kiss you all day long.” 

“Let’s see if that’s true,” you giggled, slightly pushing his chest down so he would fall on his back. He laughed, watching you as you leaned down to him, pushing your lips against his. He whimpered when he felt you shift on his lower body, making your eyes widen. 

“Sorry, sorry,” he blurted out immediately, embarrassed. He didn’t want you to know, but your moves turned him on. So much that he wasn’t sure how long it would take him to get a boner with you on top of him. “I didn’t- I didn’t mean to.” 

Fuck. This wasn’t good at all, you thought. Hearing your boyfriend make these sounds under you made you feel things. And imagine stuff. You bit your bottom lip, trying to get the thought of his cock inside you out of your mind. But it was too late already, and the image of him under you, as you bounced on his dick, was all over your mind, making you wet. 

The taller boy noticed the look in your eyes. You looked even more turned on than he was. It was hard holding back when you were right on top of him, looking like you wanted him as much as he wanted you. He had told his friends he wasn’t going to fuck you tonight, but his whole body hoped for something else. 

“Kai...” You whispered carefully, looking right into his eyes. “Do you...want to?” You hesitated for a second. Unable to breathe as you waited for his answer. You were too nervous. 

“Do you want to?” He asked, his puppy eyes looking right into yours. Oh god, you thought, wanting to kiss him again. 

You were hesitant again but nodded, slightly moving your lower body, making his eyes widen. His cock was getting hard already only because of your small moves. It was impossible to resist you. Especially when you were looking at him like that. 

“You’re making it hard for me, love,” he mumbled, quickly pulling you back to himself to kiss you. “And my dick, too. You’re making me hard,” he informed you. That information, however, wasn’t new to you. You could feel his cock getting bigger under you, and it was only making you hornier. 

Your hands wandered under his shirt, your fingers slowly getting to know every inch of his stomach and chest. “Love,” you moaned quietly. “I need you,” you whispered, making his mind go completely blank. There was nothing else other than you on his mind right now. If you were to ask him anything, he wouldn’t be able to answer. 

“Oh god,” he breathed out, his fingers getting to the bottom of your shirt. “Do you mind?” You shook your head immediately, and before you could even realize that it was happening, he was taking your shirt down, revealing your white bra. He bit his bottom lip, already thinking about taking your bra off, too. 

You felt your cheeks getting hotter as you felt his gaze on your body, only getting more turned on. You were going to die if he didn’t touch you soon. You moved forward and back again with your ass, rubbing your pussy on his dick through your clothes. “Fuck,” he whimpered, sitting up properly so he could be closer to you. Your bodies were touching, the only thing keeping you apart being the clothes you were still wearing. 

“You should take this down, too,” you commented, your eyes staring at his completely hidden body. “Why don’t you take it down yourself, princess?” He smiled, watching your already flushed cheeks turn even redder. 

You didn’t say anything to it and instead just took the shirt down for him. Your sight fell on his naked body immediately, and suddenly, you couldn’t even blame him for staring seconds ago. “Are you sure you want to do it?” You questioned, hesitating again. It still felt unreal.  

“Do you have to ask?” He chuckled, carefully cupping your face, kissing you as his hands wandered on your back until they reached the bra fastening. He slowly moved his mouth from your lips to your neck, making you whine immediately. “Kai,” you moaned from the pressure on your neck. He smirked, leaving a few hickeys. “I am going to take care of you soon. Don’t worry,” he assured you. 

This wasn’t good at all. Kai hasn’t even touched you down there, and you already felt like cumming just because of his words. 

Your panties were soaking wet already, and his mouth on your boob wasn’t helping it at all. He moved his attention to your right nipple right after taking down your bra while his hand made sure your other boob wasn’t left out. The sounds you were trying to hold back as he sucked on your nipple were heaven for him, making his pants tighter. 

“Baby,” you whined again, making him look up for a second. “Please, I am going to die.” He chuckled, pulling away from your chest, making you lay down on the bed as he quickly took down his pants and boxers - the two pieces were already so tight on him it was killing him, too. 

He took down your jeans, too, leaving you only in your panties, which were visibly wet. Kai smirked when he saw you, his eyes fixated on your cunt. Even though his hard cock was begging for some attention, the thought of his head between your thighs seemed better to him.

You glanced at him, making sure your mind remembered every inch of his naked body. The way his hard cock slapped on his lower tummy when he took down his boxers, his naked torso, the way his fingers ran throught his hair as he looked at you with hunger in his eyes, you were sure to remember it all.

He grabbed your thighs, pulling you closer to himself before he took down your panties, too. “If you are not okay with anything, just tell me immediately, yeah?” You nodded to him, “Just please, do something already.” 

Good thing he took down his pants because his dick was already trembling, wanting to slide inside your wet pussy. He watched you as he carefully slid the first finger inside you, making you moan out immediately. He added another finger, still not taking his eyes off you as he slowly trusted in and out of you, leaning closer to you to kiss you again. You wrapped your hands behind his neck, pulling him closer as you let out quiet moans against his lips.

The feeling of your pussy tightly squeezing his fingers was incredible, already making him think about how his dick would feel inside of you. He pulled out his fingers, making you whimper for more. He licked his lips, kissing you once more before he moved his head down to your legs, kissing your inner thighs before he opened your legs properly. His kisses moved closer and closer to your cunt before he finally reached his destination, placing a kiss on your clit before he began to suck on it.

Your legs moved on your own, trying to close themselves more as you were getting closer to your orgasm. You didn’t want him to stop, so when he grabbed your thighs, holding you close to himself and making sure your legs were open enough, you were grateful to him. There was no way you wouldn’t try to pull away if he didn’t do so. 

You cried out his name as you reached your high, squirting over his face, starting to feel embarrassed for it. He finally let go of your legs, seeing how much they were shaking. He smirked, happy with himself, as he licked your wetness once more before crawling on top of you, hovering over you. Your face was getting redder again as you broke your eye contact. However, he wasn’t letting you run away so easily. He kissed your jaw. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” you nodded, turning your head to face him again. “I just- that was so good, Kai,” you breathed out, making him smile again. “Do you think you can take my cock now too? It’s fine if not,” he assured you immediately. “I can just take care of it myself.” 

“No, no,” you shook your head. “I am...I am fine,” you answered confidently. “I want you inside of me.” 

Huening was screaming inside his head, already getting obsessed with that sentence. He already knew he needed to hear you beg for him like that again in the future.

“I have condoms in the drawer next to my bed,” you proclaimed, making his eyes widen. He had no idea you were this prepared. When he thought about it, though, you were dating for a long time already. He just didn’t know you wanted him as much as he wanted you. 

Only a few seconds later, he was putting the condom on his cock, watching you lying down in front of him, your legs wide open again, waiting for him. The sight was unforgettable, and he had made sure his mind would remember it clearly. He moved closer to you, waiting for your nod before he slowly slid his tip into your cunt. 

He didn’t thrust right away. Instead, he waited for you to get used to him first. When you nodded again, he started thrusting into you, at first slowly, making sure you were okay with it before he started going faster, in a pace that suited his need. 

You started moaning again, putting a hand in front of your mouth so you wouldn't be so loud. That, however, wasn't to Kai's liking. He pulled out of you completely, making you whine. "I want to hear you, love," he proclaimed. "Or I am just going to leave you like this." 

You moaned again. This time, in disagreement. You let your hand fall back to your body, grabbing onto your bed sheets as you felt his cock at your entrance. He smirked, "Good girl." 

Moans filled the room again. Some of them were from you, your legs shaking thanks to him, and some were from your boyfriend, who was trying his best to last as long as possible. With your pussy tightly wrapped around his cock it was way more difficult than he thought it would. 

Eventually, he gave up, letting himself cum when you clenched around him even more. "Fuck," he breathed out, pulling out of you. He was breathing heavily, and so were you.

He laid down next to you, his hand resting on his belly as he turned his head to face you. "You did great, love. So great."

"You did well, baby," you chuckled. "I love you so much," you added, kissing him once more. 

"I love you too," he smiled into the kiss, his hand cupping your cheek as he pulled you closer. 

⋆✶ izzy's tags @beomiracles @seoulzie @adel222 @inkigayocamman ✶⋆

[reneesghostinthelivingroom]

Hello! How are you? Hope you're doing good. I was wondering if I could request a Poly!Pastics x reader where the reader is a HUGE people pleaser and R does everything for everyone and it got so bad to where R stayed awake for three weeks straight to have time to make everyone happy. The girls have enough and force force their girlfriend to sleep and not stress over other people?

Sorry if it's too much or top specific.

Whats One More?||

|| Poly!plastics x fem!reader

(i myself am poly!)

|| Warnings: swearing, super long, Reader's absolutely exhausted, Regina being Regina, comfort (i dont think there's too many, if i missed something lmk)

|| Summary: Reader keeps helping out everyone to the point where it begins to effect her sleep schedule. Ms. Norbury notices and brings it to the attention of the plastics, who comfort Reader and get Reader to sleep.

Requests open!

Started: April 20th

Finished: April 21st

~~~

To say you were a people pleaser would be an understatement. You weren't sure if there was a better word to describe it, maybe... doormat? You couldn't say no to save your life. It was a genuine problem that often spiralled beyond your control. Well, you could control it. If you just said no. But that was mean. You hated the thought of anyone hating you, so you worked overtime to make sure that never happened.

Today was no different.

"Hey, Y/N! Wait up!" Shane Omen yelled your name from across the hall as you stood at your locker, making you internally groan. You didn't like Shane but you never showed it. You forced out a smile as you looked at him.

"What's up, Shane?" You asked, keeping your tone your signature calm one. As opposed to the internal screaming that was going on in your head. Why couldn't he just leave you alone? You had been having an amazing day before he showed up.

"Mind doing my homework for me? I'm just so busy this week that I have no time for it. Oh, and my buddies too. I'll pay ya." He smirked at you, clearly trying to use whatever charm he could muster. This wasn't the first time it's happened. His friend had walked up next to him, holding a large stack of papers up to his chest which you could only assume was the entirety of Shane's friend groups overdo homework.

You held back a sigh.

"Yeah. When do you need it done by?" You asked. Reluctantly. You hated the thought of doing all that extra work, but then again you hated the thought of someone hating you more than you hated the idea of doing the homework. So you'd do it. On top of your own you already had to do, plus you had promised Karen you'd help her out with hers.

"This Friday." He replied, gesturing for his friend to give you the work. Which he did. He practically shoved it into you.

The sudden weight added to your binders almost made you stumble, this Friday? It was fucking Wednesday. That gave you two nights. Shit, you'd have to pull all nighters in order to get this done, your own work, AND help Karen. Maybe Karen should come first, since she was her girlfriend. Restart.

Karen, your own work, and Shane's shit. That's the order you gathered in your head. You could help Karen out tonight, get your own work done after and get it all done in one session so you could focus the rest of the day tomorrow on Shane's stuff. Yeah, that could work.

"Yeah... I got it. You don't have to pay." You smiled at him, he gave your shoulder a playful nudge. Sure, the money for your time would be nice. But you hated the thought of taking someone's money. Even if it was Shane Omen's.

"You're amazing, Y/N!" Shane and his buddy walked off, high fiving each other and clasping their hands together with a smirk. You rolled your eyes and readjusted the papers and your binder with your knee. Sighing at the sight of the stack you now held.

Finale bell went, showing the end of the day. Which you were grateful for.

You moved the papers and binders to one side so you could hold it with a single arm comfortably. Then opened your locker with your now free hand, holding your knee up to keep the papers from slipping. Grimacing slightly at your awkward option as you pulled your bag from your locker, stumbling back as the bag came out. Though your balance was caught by Gretchen, who gave you a soft smile and held you as you gathered your footing. Slinging the bag on your shoulder then holding the papers with both arms again.

"Thanks, baby." You smiled at your girlfriend, Karen quickly came up behind her and smiled at you.

"Y/N!" She gave you a quick hug, you kissed Karen's cheek since your hands were too full to hug her back.

Gretchen looked at all the stuff in your arms and raised an eyebrow," What's all that?"

"Shane's stuff. He needed some extra help." You explain briefly, not giving too many details. Gretchen narrowed her eyes at that. You were helping Shane? Shane Omen? Why?

She was going to ask more, when Karen suddenly frowned and interrupted.

"You're still helping me tonight, right?"

"No yeah, yeah of course! Come over to mine when Regina drops us off, okay?" You assure her, feeling a little bad for making her think you wouldn't be able to help her too. Even if it was an accident. As for Regina dropping you off, she pretty much always takes you to and from school along with Karen & Gretchen.

Karen smiles gratefully at you and pulls you in for a kiss, you happily kiss her back and Gretchen takes a photo of the two of you.

"That's so cute! It's going on our shared insta." Gretchen says with a little squeal, opening insta on her phone and going to the shared account you all have access to. She posts the photo with the caption: look at these cuties 🥺💕

You break the kiss and smile at Gretchen, your group text then goes off with a text from Regina.

|| Regina: where the hell are all of you?? I'll leave you here if you dont hurry your asses.

There's a pause before another text comes in.

|| Regina: YOU BETTER NOT BE MAKING OUT WITHOUT ME

You laughed when you read that one, Gretchen giggled too and you glanced at Karen with an innocent grin.

"She must've seen the photo." You say with a laugh, the girls nod their heads in agreement and the three of you head to Regina's jeep. You didn't want to keep her waiting longer than you already have.

At the jeep, Karen and Gretchen got in the back while you took your usual seat in the front next to Regina. Who was already looking at you expectantly.

"Just a sec," You tell her, attempting to stuff your binders and additional papers into your bag so they didn't blow away when Regina drove. Considering her jeep had no doors, something you found awfully inconvenient.

Regina groans and rolls her eyes," Ugh. Why do you have so much extra papers anyway?"

"Helping Shane." You reply, part of you had wanted to lie because you knew Regina wouldn't like the answer. But if she found out about the lie (and she always does) that would've made things way worse.

Regina looked offended," What? Seriously? Why the fuck?"

"He asked and I couldn't say no.." You admit in a mumble, making Regina narrow her eyes at you.

"You gotta work on that. Seriously, Y/N." Regina says, you finally get everything to fit in your bag before you looked at her with a frown.

"You know, Regina's right Y/N." Gretchen pipes up, leaning forward and resting her arm on Regina's back seat as she looks at you with a concerned gaze." You take on way too much from other people."

"But they'll get mad if I say no." You respond, turning your gaze to Gretchen for a moment.

"So? Fuck them, let them get mad." Regina shrugged and grabbed your chin, making you look at her before kissing you roughly. Your eyes widened at the suddenness of it but you melted into the kiss. She broke it off and wiped your bottom lip with her thumb, smirking at you," You owed me a kiss."

You blushed deeply and she laughed at your reaction, shaking her head and starting up her car.

"You're too easy. But fuck, Y/N. You gotta stop letting people walk all over you. You're not a fucking doormat." Regina's words may have been harsh, but they were the truth. You did need to stop letting people walk all over you.

~~~

But maybe not today. It was now Monday. You had managed to get everything done for Friday, much to your own sacrifice. You haven't slept a wink since Tuesday night before everything happened. And you were starting to feel it. Sure you could have slept on the weekend, but your girls dragged you around to house parties both Saturday night and Sunday night. You stayed sober to keep an eye on them and be the designated driver and you probably could have slept when you got them home, but you wanted to make sure nothing happened throughout the night. So you've been awake for almost a week straight. It was hell.

Today you had Chess Club, an extra curricular club you had chosen. You managed to get your girlfriends to agree to let you do it, Gretchen had put up a bit of an argument but when she saw how good you were at the game she let it slide.

You sat in your usual spot at the library, a chess board in front of you as played off against your best friend; Flow Scotts (short for Florence). You guys had met when you joined Chess Club, having been paired together day one. The two of you were a pretty even match and would face off against each other frequently, which built the friendship between the two of you.

You studied the board as you rubbed one of your eyes, plotting your next move while trying to stay awake. She already had you in check with her bishop, so you moved your own bishop to block hers. With the Queen defending the bishop it was a solid move, if she decided to take your piece blocking your King you could safely take hers with your Queen. sorry to the non-chess nerds who aren't going to really understand my rambles here.

Flow made a huff sound and you laughed, smiling at her when someone comes to sit next to your table. You didn't recognize him, so you assumed he must've been new to the Club as he watched your game with an interest only Chess Club members seemed to have in their eyes.

Flow blinks and looks up from the board, getting distracted from whatever strategy she had been forming in her head." Can we help you?"

"Oh! Hi! Um, Mr. Rapp told me I could come join you guys here. And like observe and maybe play winner. I'm James." He introduces himself, you and Flow glanced at each other and you shrugged.

"Alright. This is Flow, I'm-" He stops you with a smile.

"Y/N. I know, everyone knows. You're dating the plastics." James says, you sighed. You hated when people called them that. They were so much more than 'the plastics' behind closed doors.

"Right." You nodded your head.

"Also, I'm still sort of new to Chess and Mr. Rapp said that one of you could help me out with like extra chess lessons after school?" James continued on, you glanced at Flow.

"I have soccer practice after soccer today." Flow looks back at you. Flow didn't play soccer, she clearly just didn't want to tutor him.

"Yeah, okay. I'll do it. Meet here five minutes after the bell." You tell James, who gives you a grateful smile.

You had a test you had wanted to study for after school and a project you had wanted to use the school lab computers for, but now you were stuck tutoring James. You figured you could just pull another all nighter to get the work done. What's one more?

~~

Well, one more turned into many more. It's been a total of three weeks since you last had a decent, solid sleep and it was really affecting your grades. People just kept asking things of you and you couldn't tell them no. It was bad.

Ms. Norbury was the first to notice your grades dropping, as your grades in math were pretty solid. They weren't mathletes worthy but they weren't completely low either. You averaged a 75%, which had now dropped down to 68% with your lack of sleep and focus in class.

You were currently in math, which was your fourth period. Trying desperately to pay attention and not fall asleep. Though at one point you droop so low your head hits the table, startling you into a more upright position as people stared at you in confusion. Ms. Norbury narrowed her eyes, sleeping in class wasn't like you. She was sure something was wrong.

"Okay, everybody take 5." She says, people get up and head out while she walks over to you.

"Y/N? Everything alright?"

"Just tired." You tell her in a mumble, you weren't a mumbler.

"Honey, when was the last time you slept?" She asked, crouching down in front of your desk to get a better look at you. She frowned as she saw the dark circles and the very evident exhaustion.

You simply shrugged, to you her voice felt far and distant so you had to put all your remaining energy into hearing her. You couldn't remember the last time you had a good sleep. You knew it had been a while ago, though. All your days just felt as though they had blended together.

That concerned Ms. Norbury further, she debated if she should just send you home at this rate. After all it was just fourth period and she was sure you'd have people in other classes who could get the work you missed.

"Come on, Y/N. How about we call one of your parents and have them come get you?" She said softly, knowing a good sleep at home would be what you needed.

When you heard that you shook your head, you knew your parents wouldn't come get you. Even if you had been throwing up they'd tell you to tough it out.

"They wouldn't.." You say in a mumble, Ms. Norbury frowns at that and tries to think of a plan B. She knew the various cliques and which students hung out with who, so she knew you were close with the plastics. The question was which one would be come get you? Little did she know any one of them would do it in a heartbeat.

She sighed quietly to herself and stood up," Alright, just wait here." She tells you before heading to the class phone and giving someone a call. You weren't sure who.

About five minutes pass before Gretchen comes running into the room, when she saw you she paused and looked at Ms. Norbury. They seemed to have some silent conversation, no. Their mouths were moving. You just couldn't focus enough to hear what they were saying.

You slumped back in your seat and your eyes started to close, exhaustion catching up to you when you felt hands on your shoulders and looked to see Gretchen watching you with worry all over her face.

Gretchen had known that something was wrong. She knew it from the start, but every time she tried to talk about it with you you would just say 'tired' and nothing else so she gave up pressing you on it. She knew she should have tried harder to get the information out of you.

Even Regina had tried too at one point, she noticed when you weren't fully present in a conversation she was having with you. You just kept replying with 'mhm' 'uh huh' and so she tested it by saying 'I dont know what to wear to school tomorrow, think I should go topless?' you replied with a simple 'yepper' and that basically confirmed for her that you weren't listening. So, when she asked what was wrong after getting your attention, you just replied 'tired' to her too. She didn't think to press further.

"Y/N, are you listening?" Gretchen asked, a frown on her lips after she had snapped her fingers to get your attention. You blinked and looked at her.

"Huh?" You didn't realize she had been trying to talk with you.

"I'm taking you to Regina's, Ms. George will come get us." Ms. George was your backup. If one of you needed to go home for whatever reason or just wanted to skip and relax, she always said that she would come get you girls," I texted the groupchat and told them what was going on. They're on their way over, just hang tight. Okay?"

You nodded and not too long after all three were standing before you, Ms. Norbury was back at her desk. Letting you girls have your space.

"You look exhausted." Karen points out. Leave it to Karen to point out the obvious.

Regina narrows her eyes at her and sighs before looking back at you, resting her hand to your cheek and rubbing it gently with her thumb. You lean in a little closer to her touch," Why haven't you been sleeping?"

"Busy." You reply, unable to gather enough energy to say more. The three exchanged looks.

"Busy with what?" Regina replied, she knew you had your Chess Club, tutoring Karen, and your own work on top of that but she didn't think that was enough to get you this tired.

"Helping people." You explain, talking simply again. She groaned at that. That's what caused this?

"Baby, I thought I told you to say no?" Regina takes her hand off you, you feel the warmth leave and you almost slump forward on your desk. You'd been using her hand as support. Her hands rest on her hips as Gretchen catches you and keeps you up, giving your forehead a soft kiss.

"Mean." You respond.

"Excuse me?" Regina looked offended, thinking you had called her mean. You shook your head and desperately looked at Gretchen to translate.

Gretchen tensed, racking her brain to think of what you meant," Did you mean saying 'no' was mean?"

You nodded.

"That's not mean. You can always say no, that's what Gretchen says to me all the time." Karen pipes up, Gretchen gives her a soft look and nods in agreement.

"Y/N/N, you're allowed to have boundaries." Gretchen tells you," is it really worth it if it's doing this to you?"

You were going to respond but there was a knock at the door, you glanced at it and saw Flow there.

"Hey, Y/N. I would've texted but I was walking by here anyway, you coming to Chess tonight?" She asked.

Regina scoffed and folded her arms," Absolutely not. Fuck off."

"Regina, language!" Ms. Norbury narrowed her eyes at the blonde who rolled her own.

Flow tensed at Regina's harshness and looked at you. Gretchen scrambles a response.

"What Regina meant is that Y/N is just super tired, she's going home to rest tonight. Right, baby?" Gretchen looked at you. Expecting you to agree.

Regina looked at you with a look that was basically commanding you to tell Flow 'no'. You hated it.

"Resting tonight..." You grumbled, continuing to speak in simple terms.

Flow's gaze shifted to concern but she nodded her head," okay.. let me know how you're doing later, alright?" She left after that.

"That wasn't so hard, was it?" Regina kept her gaze on you.

"Awful." You shook your head, disagreeing with her which makes her scoff.

Soon enough, Ms. George comes and picks all three of you up. Bringing you to their place. You were brought to Regina's bed by your girlfriends, who all snuggled up with you in bed. Gretchen on your right, Karen on the left and Regina on top. You easily fell asleep once Regina started giving your neck soft, soothing kisses. Your girls stayed close to you.

You slept for a solid 24 hours and some.