#it certainly does Not Help that the majority of it all is So Damn Good as well????

[oldkamelle]

any tips on how to consume tf2 lore? i'm not a gamer i just want to rotate scout in my mind 24/7 :] thanks

NON GAMERS UNITE

I'd say watch the official animations, read the comics, peruse the game update pages on the official site cuz they of course hold some good shit (you can get to most of these by reading the side comics if i remember correctly, at the end it'll show a button that takes you to the update page for that particular comic)

Besides these, i don't know of any other canonical lore sources (for more canon info, maybe watch videos that explain the full background of the characters, they'll include tidbits that the previous sources dont).

After these, from my experience, it's just all fan content, of which there is an ungodly amount (game came out in like 2007 so you'll never get left with nothing). They inform you about the community more, while also fulfilling your blorbo needs.

[petite-phthora]

Of course he’s a fucking space nerd

[DP x DC fic]

[Love at first... murder? - part 3]

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Part 1

Ao3

---

Something’s wrong with the Pit.

It takes Jason way too long to notice it.

The Pit’s never really been silent, just a haze of anger that’s always simmering in the back of his mind. And while it’s still not entirely gone, Jason already being convinced that it will never truly go away, something is still… off about it.

Instead of the usual all-consuming rage the Pit makes him feel, mainly directed at the Joker, it feels… calmer. More at peace. Almost…

Content.

While the rage itself is still there, it’s more muted. Like it’s being drowned out by something else. Something that feels like… praise? reverence? admiration?

Jason is unsure what exactly it is that the Pit is making him experience. But he does know who it’s aimed at: the mysterious twink whose murder he still has to cover up.

And that brings Jason back to the corpse in front of him.

If the slightly pointed ears and small fangs the guy possessed hadn’t already pointed towards his hero the dude being a meta of some kind, then the decimation of the Joker with a single punch certainly did it.

And damn, that punch was kinda hot.

Jason shakes his head. If he wants to help the meta dude keep people off his back about the murder, however accidental it might have been and despite the corpse’s identity, then he’s gonna have to get rid of the body first.

And he should probably do something about any cam footage there might be of the incident.

With any luck, the Joker’s escape hasn’t been noticed and announced yet. That should make it easier to cover everything up. Before he does anything though, Jason pauses as he realizes the opportunity he has.

He takes off his helmet, takes out his phone, and crouches down by the corpse.

He takes a selfie.

Jason looks at the picture he took, noting that while he’s not really a keepsakes kinda guy, this one’s definitely gonna be framed, before putting his phone away again. Right, it’s time for him to clean up a clown corpse.

After that, he has to find out who his knight in dirty NASA shirt was.

If not for the promised date, that he is so taking the guy on, then at least to figure out what’s happening with the Pit.

---

After getting rid of the body, Jason’s next point on the agenda is research.

All he has on the guy so far is a physical description, a possible meta status, and the information that he has a scholarship at Gotham University.

Jason starts with hacking into the cams in the street where the incident took place. To his surprise, all the cam footage in that area around the time of the incident is corrupted. The visual files are overtaken by static and the audio files aren’t any better.

Huh, convenient.

Well, this is just some more proof for Jason’s meta theory. Though it does mean he can’t use the files to run any facial recognition. Oh, well. He’ll just have to hack into Gotham U’s systems then.

Even though the files are pretty useless, Jason makes sure to wipe them all anyway. Just to be safe.

He also makes sure to wipe his helmet’s footage. Despite how corrupted it is, it’s better to be safe than sorry with the Bats. He’s already lucky Babs hadn’t yet decided to hack into his helmet cam yet that night.

Next, he hacks his way into the Gotham U. systems. He manages to limit his search by only looking for first-year scholarship students and after a while Jason’s pretty sure he found the right guy, judging by the school picture.

Mystery twink’s name is Daniel Fenton. 20 years old, uses he/him pronouns. No registered meta status. His address was recently updated to Gotham City, the old address being a city named Amity Park in Illinois.

He took a gap year after high school and recently won a scholarship at Gotham U. He’s majoring in aerospace engineering and minoring in both astronomy and astrophysics.

Holy shit, he’s a fucking space nerd.

...

Has the Gotham Observatory reopened yet? That might be a good place to take him to while on their date after they’ve had dinner.

Interestingly enough, his ICE contact isn’t a parent or guardian but instead, it’s his older sister. One Jasmine Fenton, who has recently gained a doctorate in psychology, he finds after looking her up as well.

A quick search on Amity Park doesn’t gain him much. Though, after some digging he manages to run into a firewall. A pretty big firewall. That’s protecting anything but the barest of mentions of the city.

Nope, he’s not gonna be dealing with that shit.

Despite not being able to get more on Amity Park itself, Jason does manage to find some social media accounts of some of the city’s residents. One of them being Daniel’s.

But when he tries to take a look at any of the posts, all he gets are errors and endless loading screens. The firewall that’s protecting Amity Park also seems to be protecting all of its residents. Even former residents.

Right. That’s enough of that for today.

One thing Jason does note is that the twink’s preferred name is probably Danny, judging by the account bio.

At this point, Jason’s stuck on whether or not he should try his luck by going to Babs or Tim to see if they can find out more about Danny.

While they might be able to get through his hometown’s firewall, it would be hard to convince either of them to keep any information they find from the Bats if they knew why exactly Jason had taken an interest in the guy in the first place.

Whether that reason was because of the clown murder, the weird happenings with the Pit, or because Jason really wants to take the cute twink out on a date.

Though he could potentially try to bribe Replacement to do it for him, no questions asked, if he brought him some of that ‘Deathwish’ coffee for his services…

But, knowing him, the nosy fucker would probably ask questions anyway, stick his nose into Jason’s business, where it really doesn’t belong, and then proceed to tell the Bats regardless of any threats Jason would have sent his way.

However, on the other hand, Jason’s pretty sure Replacement still owes him a favor.

Hmmm… He’ll keep it in mind as a plan B.

He already managed to gather enough information to take Danny out on that date anyway.

---

While in the line to get some flowers for Danny, Jason decides to text the Bats group chat a vague message on how he won’t be patrolling Crime Alley tonight.

He’d rather not be dealing with panicked Bats crashing his date because they thought something was wrong because he hadn’t been seen patrolling, nor checked in with any of them. Or worse, nosy Bats stalking him and his date to see if he’s ‘worthy’ or some shit.

And if Jason texted them right after the announcement of the Joker being gone from Arkham was finally made?

Well, then that’s their problem, Jason resolutely decides, already reveling in the chaos as he mutes the chat and turns his phone off for good measure.

After paying for the flowers, and trying not to intimidate the shopkeeper because he’s in his Red Hood gear, Jason makes his way back to his motorcycle outside. After double-checking Danny’s address, he takes off.

Time to take the twink out on a date.

[kuromori4]

Gabriel Agreste's despicable request

I started this rant after watching the London special and I figured I should finally finish it and post it.

"Make sure Adrien never knows the villain that I was, and instead try and remember the times I tried to be a good father."

Who the hell does he think he is to make such a request?? He's relying on Marinette's desire to protect the boy she loves. He KNOWS that she'll do as he asks for Adrien. He's counting on it. And that's AWFUL. He has to know exactly what he's putting on her shoulders. He knows that she knows what an awful father he's been to Adrien. This isn't a heartfelt request to protect his son. This is a CURSE ON HIS ENEMY. A way to ensure that Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Ladybug, the major thorn in his side since day one, continues to suffer long after he's gone. Ladybug foiled all of his plans from the start, Marinette dared to win the heart of his son, whom he had promised to someone else without his knowledge. She was his downfall, and surely, in his mind, the (albeit indirect) cause of his impending doom.

If he really cared about Adrien, if Adrien's well-being was his real goal and final wish, then he should have given in. He should have decided, "You're right Ladybug, I fucked up. let's try and fix this, for Adrien." But NO. He chose to attack her, even after she gave him a chance to make things right. He wasn't willing to let things end on someone else's terms. If he was going to go out, he was going to do it HIS WAY. And he was going to make sure that his memory would never die, one way or another. So instead of doing the right thing and finding a way out of it that was less harmful to his child, whom he was about to leave an orphan, he steals the Miraculous and makes damn sure that his death will go down in history.

I don't give a shit if he changed the initial intention of his wish. He still wasn't sacrificing himself for some greater good. That's just how he wanted Marinette to perceive it, because she is good, and a child, and therefor easy to emotionally manipulate. He knowingly put both Adrien and Marinette into a position where a future of hurt and pain was inevitable. Everything Gabriel does is self-serving, right to the very end. His final act of villainy ensured that he could maintain control over his son's life even after his death, and keep his enemies suffering long after he's gone. And what's worse, he used the girl his son loves to enforce it. Which is the ultimate fuck you to Mari/bug if you ask me; forcing her to become the new keeper of his son's ignorance, maintaining that Adrien stays in the dark and never learns the truth about anything.

You could argue that he gave his life for Nathalie and that's somehow redeeming, but I argue that it was just another way for him to guarantee that his affairs were taken care of after his demise. Sure he does seem to care about Nathalie in some manner, maybe there's even some love there. (But as we well know, Gabriel's twisted 'love' seems to come at a price.) I'm sure Nathalie knows how to run his company in his stead, to make sure his assets stay in tact, and to a certain degree, maybe even thinks that Nathalie might carry on his mission, or at the very least protect his secrets. Even if she had a change of heart in the end and tried to stop him, she has been complicit all these years and knows most of, if not all of, his secrets and goals. She also has a position of authority over Adrien. She knows that he's a Sentibeing and where his Amok is, and has used it on him before. I truly think that Gabriel believed that Nathalie would help wrap everything up with a nice bow for him. Who else could he trust to handle his final affairs? Certainly not Tsurugi.

If Gabriel had turned himself in to Ladybug, he would have died alone, pretty much then and there. Without his wife. (Emilie's status of dead or nearly dead being unknown to us) Nathalie would have died, His company would fail, his contracts with Tsurugi enterprises would allow Tomoe to pick the Gabriel company apart like a vulture, and his empire would shrivel up. His son would know who and what he was, and would hate him. The plans he put in place for Adrien's future would fall apart, allowing for Adrien to grow and be who he wants without his father's influence. Maybe he'd be remembered for his villainy, but his accomplishments in life as Gabriel would be forgotten, lost, even resented. And what's worse, he would have lost everything to a couple of children. His son's girlfriend and her pet cat would be his downfall, his undoing. The great Gabriel Agreste, Monarch, bested by a young girl. Gabriel's blatant pretension would never stand for it.

His wish ensured that he got to be together with his wife in the end, Which was always his goal. It ensured that Mari/bug (And by extension, Chat Noir) would continue to suffer for daring to oppose him. He got his way. He won. IDGAF if he died. HE WON. He destroyed so many lives. He doesn't deserve the little comments in the special talking about "Rekindling what was still good in Gabriel Agreste" or "What finally made him a good father to Adrien." HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS ASKING OF HER. He knew what it would mean for her, and his son! The power he holds over Marinette and Adrien from beyond the grave guarantees that even with a new Butterfly holder, that he will ALWAYS be the formidable villain who defeated them. He will ALWAYS loom over their heads, wrap his fingers around their throats. He got to defeat his enemy AND look like the hero. He gets to have his cake and eat it too. He gave both of his identities a fucking LEGACY.

[requiemism]

maybe its just because jinx is bpd (or, at least, HEAVILY coded as such) and i have a mood disorder but i truly cannot help but be bewildered by the lack of understanding and empathy towards her character both in the show and in the fandom. shes essentially a broken, manipulated, desperate child- even if shes "grown" now, shes so severely traumatized i sincerely doubt her brain developed properly and she certainly didnt and doesnt have the help required to become a well adjusted stable individual. i dont say this to take away her agency or infantilize her- her actions ARE her choice, and she DOES understand what she is doing. however, despite this, a majority of what shes done has NEVER been in a moment of rational thinking. she only did what she did as powder due to desperation; she threw the bag in the water because she was cornered, she accidentally caused the deaths she did because she didnt understand the tech she had and she was desperate to save her family. everything she does after as jinx is largely due to silcos manipulation, being severely disordered, traumatized, and abandoned, and literally every single person in her life telling her all shes good for is destruction and causing pain. she spends almost her ENTIRE life being told by EVERYONE but the person actively manipulating her that she is incompetent, annoying, destructive and batshit. OBVIOUSLY SHES NOT GOING TO BE NORMAL. OBVIOUSLY SHES GOING TO LOSE IT WHEN THE O N E PERSON SHE HAS LEFT FUCKING DIES BECAUSE SHE ACCIDENTALLY SHOT HIM DURING A PTSD DRIVEN BREAKDOWN CAUSED BY HER GODDAMN SISTER. O B V I O U S L Y SHES GOING TO DO SOMETHING RASH AND IMPULSIVE IN HER MANIC, BROKEN STATE. because now, she has nothing left. she has nothing to lose. shes a jinx, and she ruins everything that she touches, and maybe, just maybe, she can use that to honor her fathers lifelong goal. obviously this goes horribly and backfires on everyone, putting a target on the entire undercitys back, but she ABSOLUTELY wasnt thinking about that when she bombed the goddamn capitol mid breakdown. in season 2, after making this impulsive (and frankly idiotic but thats neither here nor there) decision she lays low, avoiding causing any damage unless necessary (although it IS overkill whenever she does harm people, thats what shes been taught is normal. she literally grew up in the undercity where people are murdered and mugged on a daily basis.) and using every opportunity to scourge her own existence. she VERY clearly hates herself for what shes done, and she certainly doesnt seem to be proud of any of it. i think this is best displayed in the discussion she has with isha when they first meet. when vi and the enforcer squad come after her, shes literally minding her business, making a GIFT for the woman who has repeatedly hurt her because "it was something (she) could fix." she cant even shoot vi when shes actively gassing her, literally CRYING at the thought. the only reason she actively begins attempting to kill her and caitlyn is because THEY'RE DOING THE SAME DAMN THING, and once again she very clearly cant bring herself to do so to vi. even in s1, during the tea party scene, its pretty evident that she doesnt intend to kill vi in my opinion? to make matters worse, when vi tries to kill HER, she practically BEGS her to do it.

i understand that jinx is objectively NOT a good person!!! she has literally killed tens of maybe hundreds of people and yes, she did kill caitlyns mom (although very honestly i could care less about that ngl caitlyn is absolutely a good character but i dont like her as a person for reasons largely unrelated to jinx 😓). she literally builds bombs and guns and whatever the fuck for fun. she enjoys watching people be beaten and killed. but i think the absolute lack of any empathy or understanding towards her a lot of people exhibit is a little ridiculous and it infuriates me to no end 😭 thank you for coming to my autistic ted talk!!!!

[rataccatak]

Analysis of how KaySD draws Sergey Razumovsky

Or: trying to justify a thirstpost about the world's most terrible man

Sergey's gone through a number of artists through the years, and I gotta say, KaySD's rendition has captured my heart. In fact, it was a screenshot of Kay's Sergey that first got me into Major Grom. While Phob's is the official art style that we associate with the comics, Kay's style, I believe, better serves Sergey's character in the current PD run.

Genre-wise, PD returns to being a big-action, ensemble comic, which--compared to The Game's tight conflict and human drama focus--deliberately implements Kay's more traditionally comic-book style to this effect. The first arc (nine volumes in total) of PD are all Kay; though the current issues are being outsourced to a number of different artists now, Kay's style--with its roots in distinctly American superhero comics, such as DC--was what they wanted to prime audience's expectations with. After Time of the Raven, there was a big push for Bubble to adhere their stories to big names like Marvel, and with that came the desire to usher in things like a multiverse, space and supernatural elements, and franchise crossovers. Plague Doctor was one of their latest installments of that new "culture," and they had to match their aesthetics appropriately.

Okay, but that brings me back to the brainrot part of this post, which is HOT DAMN KAY'S SERGEY LOOKS SICK???

The whole idea of Plague Doctor is that, for like seven years or something, Sergey has been declared dead or missing or otherwise MIA. Nobody, both in-universe and irl, knows where he is or what the fuck he's up to. You crack open issue 1, encounter a guy in sunglasses and a hat who is painfully obviously Sergey, but you get to the last page and

(I will say this is probably the most unflattering frame of him. His chin makes him look like such a chad derogatory)

BAM. HOMEBOY IS ROCKING A NEW HAIRCUT, HE'S WEARING ANOTHER STUPID PURPLE SUIT, HE'S RIPPED, AND HE HAS BLUE EYES.

This isn't the soft, sort of angelically beautiful Sergey we're used to seeing from Phobs. It's radically different, an entirely different character almost, which was the intent.

His new look is more practical, both tactically and socially. His hair is cut, so people won't recognize him as easily. It won't get in his face or get grabbed during fights, and combined with his more muscled build, this is a Sergey who's taking things more seriously this time around. Gone is the flamboyant cape and swishing fiery locks; the plague doctor campaign is no longer a passion, but a duty. And he's ready to enter the thunderdome and get his hands dirty and god damn it, he will die trying.

Kay does take care to preserve the core elements of Phob's Sergey, while making a hard left into traditional masc territory. He's still unrealistically attractive, in that distinctly soft and youthful way. He's more noticeably fit but still maintains a slim, smooth appearance.

But on top of that, he adds this charm and charisma to him that is distinctly boyish (as in, young and mischievous, a pretty face that's up to no good). It makes his persona as a young, leftist radical more believable; he looks like a student revolutionaire, angry and passionate about all issues topical and trending.

He does look more obviously aged. Guy is now in his mid(?) thirties, and the past five years probably amounted to like three lifetimes of stress, so it certainly makes sense. Compared to how Kay drew The Game Sergey, his face is more defined with sharper lines, muscularity, and wrinkles. The short hair also ages him somewhat, making him look less angelic and more like... a regular dude.

And of course, there's the overnight peach fuzz.

The more mature, aged look helps him actually look like a person who's lived a life as loaded and fucked up as Sergey's. He's a guy whose parents died, grew up in foster care, became a CEO that rocketed to stardom in five years, committed the most elaborate fucked up terrorist campaign ever, and then immediately fell from fame to the deepest coldest cell in St Petersburg (and this is all just the OG Major Grom run). He's not Phob's Sergey (or Rag, whoever it was in The Game)--a blameless childish pretty boy who's detached from his crimes. Kay does a good job in making Sergey have this subtle undertone of... unsettled, unhinged, what have you. I don't know how much of this is hindsight bias, but he looks like a guy with a fucked up secret. You wouldn't think twice if you were seeing him in a grocery store or something but I can imagine later recognizing his mugshot on the news and thinking wow now that i think about it, he really does look like a serial killer.

And let's talk about his fashion. For all the features of Sergey's flamboyant costumes in Phob's renditions, Kay dresses him quite casually, and it works, ironically, to make him look deceptively plain in the way all extremely rich people dress (think of the $10k white t-shirts and sunglasses get-up all rich men wear). He dresses like his current social stature: a new-money sod who has gotten used to his wealth enough that he doesn't have to show off with his clothes anymore. Of course, this could also be turned on its head and instead, be an indication of Sergey's original, cheap clothes that he habited from his childhood. Certainly, the ironic rightwing graphic tees Kay puts him in edge towards that point of view, only now they're colored by Sergey's sense of political humor. I doubt a "god guns government" shirt is selling for $500 at some luxury tailor shop.

This is what I love about Kay's Sergey. In making him look more human, we get to orient him more organically into our own world. He looks like a thirty year old loser who studied CS in college and now commits cyber terrorism and doesn't know how to cook. He looks like a young adult leftist who is terminally online and has 500+ open tabs on Marxist theory. He looks like a guy who became too rich too young, who was the world's angle and then its devil in the span of like two years, and is now disillusioned with it all, who wears $5 graphic tees and stays up all night looking behind his back and tries desperately to find something that actually matters.

Once Sergey looks more believable, he becomes more understandable. And the more we understand him, the more the story has the potential to make him intrigue and surprise and reach us in multiple, unexpected ways.

[orchidbreezefc]

edgar woe.begone: low empathy, high masking

THESIS: my reading of edgar woe.begone is that he's a low empathy autistic who has no innate intuition for social cues and has had to teach himself everything about social interaction from scratch, which is an interpretation that i think explains a lot about him.

now, i am very critical of edgar as a person. i think he's a less than good person and a bad boyfriend. but let me be VERY clear right off the bat: these symptoms don't make anyone a bad person. these symptoms aren't even bad per se. theyre all disabling symptoms that make social interaction more difficult for the person who has them. like any symptom, they have to be managed and compensated for.

some people under the neurodivergent/mentally ill umbrella, as with any group of people, are bad people. being a bad person flavors one's approach to their mental illness, and mental illness in turn flavors the manner in which they're a bad person. the mental illness isn't what makes you bad, but it does affect how your shittiness manifests.

disclaimers done, a good place to start is the way edgar speaks, especially with jeremy's performance. edgar always sounds very reasonable, approachable, and agreeable, and there is never an ounce of genuine emotion in his voice. he talks like an autistic person with zero innate intuition for social interaction who has taught himself to speak in the way that he's learned will get the best response.

edgar's customer service voice is the only one we hear and likely the only one he uses if he can help it. we know edgar's a tactician, a persuader. why use any other voice than the one he's carefully fine-tuned to make people like him and be receptive to what he's saying? this isn't even necessarily cynical: what do you want him to do, talk in a more uncontrolled, emotional way--that he's not used to managing--that will make people like him less?? what good would that do?

edgar likes control. he's more comfortable when things are in his hands, and only his. propagation definitely factors in here--if [link: my theory] that propagation is what solidified the certainty of edgar's death is true, it's no wonder he wants to control and limit the spread of information. edgar prefers to be in charge of making the plans, ideally alone.

this is part of why mike is perpetually out of the loop, even regarding decisions that concern him--which is pretty damn paternalistic. but there's a more wholesome aspect as well: edgar genuinely thinks he's doing mike a favor.

edgar knows mike has undergone and is undergoing a lot, and that he's terrible with plans and a major blabbermouth. if edgar can take care of a problem without mike having to worry his pretty head and perfect eyebrows about what to do, without knowing it ever existed, isn't that so much better? that's edgar being a good boyfriend, actually. he's helping!

it probably doesn't even occur to edgar how much this limits mike's agency, how much it hurts mike that edgar refuses to let him in, how this puts them on unequal footing, how fucking patronizing it is to not let your boyfriend make his own decisions about his own life. oh, how the tables have tabled since him originally telling mike that keeping the story of woe.begone from him didn't protect him, it impeded his ability to make informed choices.

here's where the low empathy creates problems--edgar doesn't have that innate intuition for how mike's feeling, and he doesn't (effectively) manage or compensate for it, and he definitely doesn't communicate with mike enough to know how he's affected by this shit (avoiding too much information sharing is good, remember?)

and mike certainly isn't going to tell him! mike is a goddamn simp. he's not going to establish boundaries. he's not going to put his foot down and demand better treatment. as if he fucking deserves that in the first place, pshaw. the only time he pushes back is in season 10 when he doesn't remember their relationship, and edgar is deeply shaken.

edgar is devastated to learn he hurt mikey, because he does genuinely adore that man. he would get lasso lessons from michael and rope him the moon if he could. his low empathy and efforts to manage everything himself keep him from realizing that mikey, a hyperempathetic mess who gets sentimental about pens, seriously suffers from being shut out like this.

edgar's thought process must be equally inscrutable to mikey, who just figures it would be asking too much to be an active and equal participant in his own relationship and life. edgar's perfect and great, so if mikey deserved that, he would already be giving it to him. if mikey's unhappy with any part of their relationship, no he isn't. he's lucky he has edgar at all. he's lucky he has anyone.

recall michael's agonized admission that "everything is about rugby, dammit" 10(++++) years and edgar's literal death later. we can only guess at how bad his rugby was, but we do know michael never talked it through with edgar. he tells mike this was him 'letting it go' actually, when the fact that theyre having this conversation at all is proof that he extremely hasn't. this is what 'letting it go' looks like to michael: burying an issue forever and giving up on ever getting closure.

so yes, edgar does authentically deeply love his mikey-bear. unfortunately, if you never establish the communication to bridge the differences between your own methods of operating and that of your partner, love will only get you so far. and the first time around, where it got them was michael fighting back tears in an apartment in latvia over a wound from edgar that he suffered in silence until the day he died.

[clerifik]

Major Character Dissection: Alastor (Part 2)

(MAJOR SPOILERS)

Three: Alastor’s Way of Coping With His Deal:

Alastor knows that his deal is infallible and there are no loopholes to get around it, but he certainly knows he can bend the rules of his deal and take charge of his own fate. @ohbother2 made a good point about this.

Alastor always presents himself as cool, calm, and collected. It’s all a façade so he can make people believe that he always knows exactly what he’s doing, and make them believe that he’s always in control. He admitted it to Charlie when telling her to smile. It is also shown when Alastor treats Husk like his “pet” when he threatens him. He knows he has more control over Husk and he takes full advantage of it. He hates being seen as lesser than the other Overlords. He wants everyone in Hell to know his name, he wants to be known, to be feared, and he doesn’t like when he’s dismissed. During the Overlord meeting, be announces that he’s back, claiming, “I’m sure you’ve all been wondering”  in reference to where he had disappeared to the past seven years. The reaction he had after Carmilla dismisses him just goes to show how much he dislikes not being viewed as the most powerful Overlord in Hell.

Lucifer too… Why does he instantly have a distaste towards him? Why does he instantly feel like he has to one-up him? Alastor knows Lucifer is more powerful than him, he easily outranks Alastor and that intimidates him. He also knows that realistically he will never be at the same power level as him… so he grabs ahold of something Lucifer can’t; a good relationship with Charlie.

Alastor is so incredibly calculated when it comes to finding others weaknesses, he’s had a lot of time to get used to it. He stings Lucifer where it hurts, and that’s how he gets under his skin. He mentored Charlie when she needed it, and was there for her when Lucifer wasn’t. He even claimed in the song that she could “call him dad.”

Why can’t he accept that he is powerful too? Why does he always have to be the best?

This abuse of power was shown once again in the hallway when Husk confronted him with, “big talk for someone who’s also on a leash.” His anger wasn’t cool, calm, and calculated. He wasn’t thinking, he was acting on a whim and it was shown when his jabs were personal against Husk which led him to also threaten to make him the next voice on the broadcast. There was nothing meticulous or collected about that response.

Everything about that response screamed fear. Alastor was fearful of his deal and fearful of the person he made it with. He wouldn’t have actually killed Husk, because if he wanted to, he would’ve already done so. Husk clearly serves a bigger purpose to Alastor, and Husk clearly knows a lot about Alastor, so I think that threat was genuinely to just shut him up… or to try and remind him that Alastor was powerful too. Alastor would hate if someone thought of him simply as a puppet bound to a leash.

Alastor is stuck at this hotel of redemption where he does not want to be, but where he has to be. He’s forced to follow Lilith's orders, he’s forced to deal with Lucifer who outranks him, so what can he do?

He can get Charlie’s soul.

And he did get Charlie’s soul. All it takes is a smile and some naivety and you’re already halfway there. He now has something to twist against Lucifer and Lilith. He has their daughter. This brings back some of his control. He finally feels powerful again.

Except for the fact that this stupid fucking hotel is growing on him.

He has been shown to protect the hotel, which simply is not part of his deal. He just has to be Lilith’s eyes, her camera. He’s to blame for his own attachment to the place. There is a scene where he admits to Niffty that he had grown accustomed to the place. He also assisted in the Extermination battle, and got Rosie to help with her Cannibals. He didn’t have to do that, but he chose to. He grew connected to the damn place and the damn people. He suffered because of it.

During the battle with Adam, the most daunting thing to him was slinking away and “cowering”. The last thing Alastor would’ve wanted to do at that moment is retreat from the battle. He had no other choice. It was losing, or death. Both of which are two important things to him. He was willing to take the sacrifice of his status over death. Knowing how much Alastor craves control, craves status, that shows you just how terrified he is of death. The wild look in his eyes too? Ugh.

If Lilith’s deal with him is centred around keeping an eye on Charlie, it makes sense why Alastor was absolutely horrified that he nearly died for them. He’s horrified at what the deal is forcing him to do, who it’s forcing him to be. When he originally made the deal there was no harm done, no real threat to him. But now he was sent to keep an eye on Charlie who was pissing off the entirety of Heaven and taking her father with her? Well, Christ. He really fucked up this time!

He had a panic attack in that damn Radio Tower, because he is absolutely fucking terrified. He’s losing control, everything that is happening around him is something he cannot control, and unless he finds a way around his deal, it’s not changing. He was literally pulling the hair out of his head because he couldn't believe what he was doing. It horrified him to no end.

To Summarize:

Alastor is a brilliantly methodically well crafted character. (Anyone who wants to say I’m looking too far into this, Alastor has been around since Viv was in high school so she has had a lot of time to let his personality and backstory cook.) He’s clever, and he’s powerful, but he���s also a little bit of a fool. He made a deal to gain control, and in return, it came back to bite him in the ass after a few decades. He knows he is nothing without his deal, but he also knows that his deal could ruin him.

He’s stuck in the most masterful way possible, and unless he figures out how to twist this all. Maybe use Charlie as his puppet? He’s going to continue to be a slave to his contract.

[sarah-yyy]

what: modern cdrama // completed // 38 eps, roughly 35 mins each where: wetv (also on the app) // viki why: desert supernatural adventure with ni ni and bai yu, this had "sarah is going to lose it over this show" written all over it right from the start tbh, zero percent of people are surprised i enjoyed it. the characters are all well done and ni ni and bygg were great in their roles, the worldbuilding for the society inside yumen was interesting, and the cgi is well done for the genre (i mean...this is basing it off cdrama cgi standards okay!!)

meet my girl ye liuxi:

GOD... xi-jie... 😘 where do we even start

brains: 10 brawns: 100 memory: -300

xi-jie woke up in the middle of the desert, hung on a tree, with no idea who she is, v fragmented memories of the past, and a satchel with some v vague clues. she spends about a year working odd jobs in a town nearby to survive and to work out a plan to find out about her past.

her investigations lead her to chang dong:

dong-ge!! 😍🤤

brains: 10 brawns: 10 memory: 10 (but like 95% of it is tragic)

dong-ge is a desert guide, used to be one of the best (and certainly one of the most famous) in the region until he led an expedition (which consisted of his fiancée and their friends) into the desert and all eighteen of them except him died during a freak sandstorm. major survivor guilt on this boy. ultimate goal is to find the remains of his friends so that their families can move on in peace.

anyway, xi-jie ropes dong-ge into taking her into the desert. it's heavily implied that pre-memory lost her knows where the remains of his dead fiancée is, so the deal is: help me find my memory, and i'll help you find your friends.

they travel to the Yumen Pass together with three others - fei tang (who tags along for an opportunity to steal this priceless artefact he saw on xi-jie), and xiaoliu & gao shen (xiaoliu's godfather is sponsoring the trip for ~reasons, gao shen is her bodyguard with a crush on her), but soon realise that the pass leads to a parallel world where xi-jie is originally from.

in that world, there are spiritual beasts and monsters and all that jazz. the parallel world is governed by three ruling families who fight against a rebel organisation the Scorpion Eye. the gang navigates through the parallel world trying to solve the mystery behind xi-jie's past and the Yumen Pass prophecy. that's p much the gist of it.

the cons: this show moves a little slowly at times, but once you get invested, everything is all good. i'd say the first 2-4 eps needed a bit of getting into, but it does pick up. meng ziyi is in this as well, but i was a bit :/ about her performance - her character needed a bit more nuance and would've benefitted from a better portrayal than what mzy delivered. not something that really put me off the show, tho!!

the pros: ye liuxi is such an excellent character!! she is super fight fight fight and has Minimal impulse control. if a fight can solve problems, that's the way she's going. she starts off a bit "stick close, because if y'all die in the desert i'm not going to care" but just...grows so invested in everyone's wellbeing. chang dong is a nice contrast to ye liuxi - he's level-headed and is more focused on plans and trying to get everyone in and out of the Pass alive. the chemistry between them is great, like i didn't think i would be into this for the romance but GOD DAMN look at my dongxi couple

ni ni and bai yu aside, the rest of the gang were great also - they provided a lot of laughs to cut through the seriousness of the show, and the growing friendship between them was really fun to watch.

the plot was decent!! you can sort of guess the direction it's going, but it doesn't stop it from being a super fun show to watch. i binged like the last 10 eps in one sitting. i also really did appreciate the show giving me the finale i wanted: everything wraps up nicely (*stares at mlc*), there're no loose ends for me to lose my shit over (*stares at my journey to you*).

all in all, a p strong 9/10 for me!! would enjoy if y'all are into those desert adventure cdramas. would enjoy if y'all are bygg fans.

[sophiasharp]

Thinking more about my role swap au, particularly how much Wyll would probably fucking DESPISE Astarion at first.

Cause like, in this au, Wyll was the one turned into a spawn and forced through 200 years of awfulness, and I think that probably would give him a very different opinion of heroes than the Wyll we know and love in-game.

This Wyll felt a deep sense of betrayal at never having been found by his father or the Flaming Fist- at almost no one being able to suss out his master’s true nature, and those that can either being too prideful in their attacks and getting themselves killed or being in in on the cruelty and letting it continue unfettered.

This Wyll has a GREAT distaste for so-called heroes, convinced that the vast majority of them are self-aggrandizing louts that are just in it for the acclaim.

I say “the vast majority,” however, because I think that the idea of a true hero is still something he clings to at his darkest moments: that maybe there could come a day where someone good and just could do in his vampiric sire for good and finally end his reign of terror, and that maybe, just maybe, he could be recognized as more than the monster he’s been turned into.

This, however, only increases his contempt for those that fail to live up to that paragon status.

Enter this au’s Astarion: the most dramatic bastard to ever play hero.

Wyll’s attention goes STRAIGHT to Astarion once the group reaches the grove, probably having heard tell of the illustrious Blade of Frontiers in the taverns he frequented and being curious as to whether the legend held up in reality.

And oh. Oh it certainly does not.

Adventuring wasn’t really a choice for Astarion. It was either mope about his banishment and his eternal servitude to the Fae till something killed him OR use his newfound powers to earn some respect and get by that way.

Archfey pacts mostly deal in charming those around them, enhancing their presence beyond what a mortal alone could accomplish. As a result, a lot of how Astarion works is by having his reputation preceded him, letting the subsequent fear or adoration do a lot of the heavy lifting in his encounters.

In this way, the Blade of Frontiers is completely an act, one that Astarion profits from by keeping it up. Yes, he’s helping the people at the Grove because it’s the right thing to do, but he’s also totally doing it because he knows they’ll be willing to give him food and shelter despite not having much to go around in exchange for the protection he provides.

Astarion upholds the charade of the Righteous Defender in front of the Tiefling refugees but is quick to show his true, not entirely selfless nature with the other tad-fools since there’s no use in putting up a front when they can literally read his mind and they might all die in a few days time.

And ohohoho man will Wyll have PROBLEMS.

Wyll, in this au, is far from the fairy tail hero we know him to be in canon. He follows a lot of the same playbook that in-game Astarion does for most of the journey. He tries to manipulate those around him into protecting him, will always go for whatever option is more in his favor, and has a very dry, borderline gallows sense of humor that he uses to cope with his situation. In his eyes, though, he comes by his selfishness honestly. Astarion, meanwhile, seemingly shoves his hero status in everyone’s faces while, in Wyll’s eyes, not having truly earned it.

To Wyll, Astarion is a hypocrite of the highest order who works in his best interest and then would chastise him for doing the same.

It makes when Astarion’s fae ties are revealed and he’s punished for sparing Gale all the more satisfying. Wyll damn near revels in Astarion’s transformation into a faerie, watching him struggle to come to terms with the giant ram horns sticking out from his skull and his sudden change in eye color. Because that’s what you get for messing with powers beyond your control. That’s what you get for pretending to be a hero when all you are is a failed magistrate toying with those around you.

That’s what you get for thinking yourself so much better than the monsters you keep for company: you become one yourself.

Wyll finds it funny, a karmic justice for all the times the folk hero had looked down on him for voting for the less virtuous option or for joking about what flavor their companions might be.

It is so very, very funny.

…until it isn’t.

Because the transformation doesn’t force Astarion to drop the hero act like he thought it would. Oh no, if anything it has the only strengthened his resolve to do the right thing no matter the consequences. He wears the mantle of the Blade with more vigor than ever before, earnestly trying to live up to his own impossible legend now that it will never be within his reach.

It makes no damn sense to Wyll. Why bother? Why go to the trouble when you know the effort won’t be appreciated? When everywhere he goes, all anyone will see is a fae creature looking to cash in a favor?

He just doesn’t get it.

He doesn’t get it until they make it to Last Light Inn. It’s there, as he watches Astarion talk to Councilor Florrick, to the High Harper, to Isobel, Alphira, Rolan, Raphael, everyone they meet as the threat of the Absolute weighs heavy on them all, that Wyll hears something in Astarion’s words that he hadn’t before:

Fear. Desperation.

Astarion doubled down on his Blade persona for the same reason he made it in the first place.

It’s all he has left.

And if he doesn’t, then everything he’s done since his banishment will have meant nothing. He’ll have given up his life, his reputation, even his own body for nothing.

But if he can be a true hero, if he can use the power his pact grants to protect those who have none, if he can be the kind, just man that the Blade represented, maybe it would all be worth it somehow.

It truly sinks in for Wyll just how heavily it all weighed on Astarion the day after they first make it to Moonrise Towers. Wyll had gone out into the night searching for any living creature he might get a meal out of within the all-encompassing darkness of the Shadow Curse when he heard groans of pain nearby.

Keeping to the shadows, he followed the noise till he found a disheveled Astarion, pulling at his horns and knocking them against trees in some half considered attempt to pry them from his head. Looking at him closer, Wyll could see bags under his eyes from weeks of sleep made uneasy by the two additions. He watched as frustrated , pained tears gathered in the eyes of the same man that had brushed off any concern from their traveling companions about whether he was coping well with his sudden, agonizing transformation.

Wyll tried to grasp at that satisfaction he’s felt when that liaison of Astarion’s patron had bestowed the punishment for letting Gale live.

Instead, he found a profound sympathy he wanted to bury as soon as he’d found it.

Because he remembered his beginning days as a vampire spawn. How long it had taken him to be able to speak clearly around the new protrusions in his mouth. How he’d cut his tongue on them every other sentence. How he’d succeeded in ripping them out once only to regret it when their absence only left him starved and still expected to entertain and seduce victims anyways.

Wyll backed away before Astarion could notice him, but the sight of his seemingly unflappable companion buckling under the pressure stuck with him. Come the next day at camp, Astarion was back to his usual flamboyant self, all signs of his previous anguish carefully hidden out of sight and out of mind. Things were, as far as anyone else knew, as they’d always been.

And yet, if one knew to look, they might have seen Wyll covering for Astarion more often in fights, taking down enemies before they could get too close to their raucous hero. They might have seen him sneaking extra health potions in his pack when he wasn’t looking, or being the first to assist if he went down. They might have even noticed Wyll collecting bits and pieces of cloth, fabric, and other softer materials that whenever it was possible to scavenge.

About a week later, there finally comes a day where Astarion goes out and Wyll stays back, and after coming back from a long and concerning day exploring the Gauntlet of Shar, Astarion is shocked to find a new addition to his tent: a patchwork pillow resting on his bedroll, thick enough to give the extra support needed for someone with horns like his. When questioning the others left behind, Karlach eventually tells him that Wyll had been oddly absent for almost the entire day.

And when Astarion questions Wyll on whether or not he had anything to do with it, Wyll merely shrugs. “Us monsters need to look out for each other, don’t we?”

[bubblystinkfreak]

what’s your take on the boys personalities? I’ve seen so many of them and I can’t really pin point yours yet!

This is a great question because I never really talked about it before tbh,, hopefully the way I’ll explain it will make sense.

For brick I wanted to mix my three favorite fan interpretations of his personalities into one, The narcissistic asshole who is surprisingly just as smart blossom, the amazing big brother/dad figure, and the goofy lowdown little shit (like in the original). I literally used to fight myself wondering WHICH PERSONALITY DOES HE HAVE,, but then I said fuck it and mixed the bitches.

The best way to describe him is a guy who loves his brothers with all his heart, who works his ass off to provide for them AND A GUY WHOS A MAJOR ASSHOLE. Like the fucker will buy you a present with his damn life savings one minute but the call you a ugly ass wrench and tell you to kill yourself the next. Like idk, I love that kind of personality for him. I imagine that he’s the kinda dude to put his all into the things he loves like his car, his brothers, and later on blossom. Idk I just feel like the lil dude is a perfectionist. I know if you hurt anything that he loves he will kill you, then your family, maybe even the dog if you have one🤷‍♀️. Yeah that’s right, real king shit, he ain’t feared for no reason.

Now let’s move on to Butch.

In my version of him, I literally just made him a crazy ass himbo. Like the man is the sweetest thing when you get to know him but other than that he is an absolute MASS TYRANT,, HE WILL KILL WITH NO MERCY (the only thing he might spare are kids) THATS IT. GOD PRAY YOU ARE NOT THIS MAN’S ENEMY. I like to think that even though he’s actually a really nice guy, he still have urges to hurt/hit things, even when he turns “good”. (Thank mth for that). Idk I just feel like it would make the most sense. But don’t forget, even with those urges he just likes making others around him smile and stuff; he also still really cares about his brothers and puts them above ANYONE else, even buttercup sometimes.

And finally, the last but certainly not least, Boomer.

Now for boomer, I really wanted to give him a different personality than what I usually see with him. In my version I made him a introverted reserved sweetheart who just likes to read books and play games. I just love the thought of the little man doing everything he can to stay out the spotlight to the point he’ll just make a fool of himself. I think I was really inspired to do this because of a character named, Marc, on miraculous.

I feel like he’ll really act like this due to to his anxiety and insecurities. Even though the boys were only joking, the “dumbest of the dumb” stuff used to really get to him when he was young. Plus he’s just a shy dude, and for some reason he think he’s the ugly one out of the brothers… and the dumbest… when butch’s STANKY ASS is right there but you know,, he’s just a insecure teen. Bubbles and brick will help with that later.

Also random bonus: I also love the thought of this dude literally running away from everyone thinking they hate him or something when most people just think he’s super cute and mysterious. Like imagine him talking to bubbles and saying, “omg why are they staring at me like that, did I do something wrong!??” But homie is just pretty and shit. Like oblivious boomer is the best boomer, prove me wrong.

If you want more examples of their personalities then here’s a old comic I made last year that can help, even if it’s short.

[irkimatsu]

Okay so i made this request for another writer but didn’t like the answer very much (no hate towards the writer, just want a second opinion on this) this request may be a bit weird. But like, wanted a headcannon of husk choosing between the reader and angel. While Husk comforted angel, reader comforted husk when alastor threatened his soul, reader always tried to be close to husk, offering help at the bar and staying -when they could- by his side to help him to close up, without asking much. But, for Angel’s benefit, reader isn’t much special, they aren’t nearly as pretty as angel, and can be seen even a bit as annoying. Wanted a headcannon of your vision of husk, who would he choose? And why? And how would he?

Again! No hate towards the first writer, just wanted a second opinion on this! Thank you!

I will open this response with the same assurances that I give whenever I discuss Husk/Angel - I do not hate Angel, and I do not hate the ship. I love Angel, and I love his friendship with Husk, whatever form that friendship may take in the end. I want Angel to find peace, and if he finds that peace in a romantic relationship with Husk in canon, I'll accept it. Hell, that's likely so far off in the future that I'll almost certainly have time to get used to the idea. I shipped my last F/O with other characters eventually, I'm sure I'll be able to do it with Husk.

...that said, I do still want it to be possible that, in some timelines, Husk chooses me over Angel. Again, not out of hate for Angel! It's just, damn it I love that man, and it's nice to think of myself as his first option and not just a backup plan if things with Angel don't work out.

With that in mind, there may be some bias here... but in the scenario you described, I do think he'd end up choosing Reader. Angel being conventionally beautiful doesn't impact Husk's decision at all. "No one cares how famous you are, how hot!" He strikes me as the type to see physical attractiveness as an added bonus to a relationship, not a primary reason to start one. His partner's heart is much more important. And if you're there for him, comforting him through his troubles over his past and his contract with Alastor, letting him know he has you to confide in and he doesn't have to act so tough around you... the opportunity to let down those walls means the world to him.

Okay, so you're a little annoying - not like you're unique. Angel was fucking annoying when they first met. (Again, I say this with love, Husk understands now why Angel acted out the way he did but he was clearly not happy about it at the start.) He may be blunt when he tells you to fuck off and stop doing whatever it is that pisses him off so much, but it doesn't mean he doesn't care; hell, I think with both you and Angel, his willingness to actually tell you why you're pissing him off is because he does care on some level and want you to be able to improve. If he saw no hope in any form of relationship with you you'd just get sworn at and ignored. (See his treatment of Mimzy.) He sees something worth knowing under the annoying shell... he just needs you to drop the shell first. (Maybe that's one of Husk's flaws, always trying to fix people... it doesn't mean he can't accept that you're not perfect. He just wants effort.)

If he fell for Angel first - not just a crush, but a true intent to make something work with him - I don't think anyone would be able to break them apart. But by the same token, if you're the one who catches his attention first, Angel won't be able to come between you. To me, Husk is the type who, while loving the concept of romance, takes a long time to properly feel it for someone - but once he does feel it, he's hooked, and it'll take a pretty major deal breaker to pull him away. Treat him gently, but still like an independent person, not a sad animal that you need to "save". Show an interest in his hobbies. (Please let him perform magic tricks for you!) Be a good source of conversation, insightful, intelligent, maybe able to hold a good lighthearted bitching session. Be willing to learn and explore. Don't brush off all his advice without a second thought, but still be your own person who makes your own decisions. Make him fall for your mind and your heart and the rest will fall into place. You don't need to be a famous porn star to win Husk's affections. Just be you, and your authenticity alone will catch his interest.

I'm sure Angel can pull it off in canon, and good for him! But in other timelines where Reader gets there first, he doesn't have to be competition, and I'm sure he'll be happy that his best friend has found love, even if it's not with him.

I love Husk/Reader where Angel is their biggest supporter and wingman. He'd never try to come between what he can see is a genuine relationship. (At the very least, now that Husk is finally showing an interest in someone, Angel is going to make sure that cat gets laid damn it. Maybe getting some hole will finally pull the stick out of his ass!)

[fjtrickster-blog]

Another ROTTMNT rant

Unpopular hot take: Mikey in ROTTMNT can be a pretty selfish little jerk.

Don't get me the wrong way. I rather LIKE the idea of Mikey being emotionally intelligent and the most empathetic etc. I don't really mind that take but I have to admit sometimes it feels like the fandom puts too much emphasis on that. Dr Feelings was a bit and not a reflection of the majority of his personality.

Evidence that Mikey can be selfish and a total jerk:

"Nothing but Truffle" this whole episode is a great example. Mikey is straight up a complete jerk to Todd the whole time. Mikey's continued love and admiration for a mad chef who is effectively a cannibal mutant is played for laughs but this episode in particular really highlights this side of Mikey.

the b plot in "Shell in a Cell" Mikey might or might not be doing this on purpose but certainly the idea that Mikey is empathetic and emotionally intelligent is undercut while he's continually taking things from Donnie to the guy's complete frustration because Mikey doesn't notice how angry he is. To be fair the show does have the running joke that the other brothers dunk on Donnie a fair bit and the show also tends to pass the working braincell around depending on who is the main focus but this is something he does. To be fair this is very much "youngest sibling" behavior (I should know I am one)

"Pizza Pit" I just want to highlight one of Mikey's very fun quotes which is from this episode which again demonstrates that Mikey at times will shoot first and ask questions later if he's angry. "You destroyed my favorite thing in the world! You will feel pain"

"Man Vs Sewer" Mikey is not only completely unconcerned about Raph who they KNOW gets "weird" when alone he also actively seems to sabotage their efforts by goofing off.

"Mystic Library" speaking of goofing off. Mayhem is actively in danger and Mikey just instantly disqualifies himself from the rescue on a whim.

"You Got Served" Mikey is the one who is actively provoking Leo from start to finish. Leo is normally depicted as the irresponsible one but Mikey is the instigator on this whole mess. Hueso seems to blame Leo but that very much as the feel of an older sibling more or less going down because of the younger siblings behavior.

"Repairin' the Baron" and "Hidden City's Most Wanted" I'll admit as much as I don't mind that Draxum is ultimately redeemed the whole redemption arc of his is poorly handled and I personally think Mikey's attitude over it is the peak of his selfishness in a lot of ways. Mikey helping out Draxum on his own, risky but in a "I believe people just need a chance" cartoon logic understandable and fair. However in the episode he tricks everyone into showing up for a dinner party with no warning. HE TRICKS THEM. Leo was nearly KILLED by this man. Splinter's body was traumatically altered. He has threatened and actively attacked and tried to murder all of them, never mind the whole genocide plot he had going. Yet Mikey ignores all that to FORCE everyone to play happy family because HE WANTS IT. Worse he TRICKS his family TWICE. Splinter who has clearly been trying to reconnect more with his sons post season one just wants to spend some father son time with Mikey. Mikey IGNORES THIS and SELFISHLY AND SECRETLY brings Draxum along. Mikey knows Splinter wouldn't approve so rather than ask him he just does it regardless of Splinter's feelings much like the first time. His reasoning for these events isn't even anything more than a selfish desire. He decided Draxum is family and thus instantly everything is water under the bridge to him. Everyone else's personal feelings be damned. It's one thing for Mikey to choose to forgive Draxum and help him. It is another for him to force that choice onto everyone else and accuse them of being selfish. There's no good explanation. Mikey just wants more Dad's.

Let's all not forget Mikey's first bit is "Dr. Delicate Touch" who consistently rudely and flatly blurts out the truth of the situation. It's comical sure but also hardly empathetic.

Do I think Mikey isn't emotionally intelligent? No I think he is but I also think he uses this to wrap his older brothers around his little finger and get them to do what he wants at times and get away with it. I will admit this is PEAK youngest energy. He's the baby, he can do no wrong. He's channeled that energy so well a lot of the fandom has been tricked into thinking it as well. Again, do I mind? Only a little. I kinda wish there was a little more shade thrown at Mikey. There are fics out there but I haven't seen a lot. Still I mostly just wanted to get these thoughts out there. They were eating a hole in my brain.

[deny-the-issue]

As Above So Below

Chapter Nine: Tides of Fate

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As Above So Below Masterlist

Summary: Unintended consequences catch up with you.

This chapter is rough, but please hang in there! Remember, there are four more chapters after this <3

Thank you to @silcoitus for beta reading! <3

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Taglist: @arcaneincorrectquotess, @lazycondensedmilk, @zauns-eye, @crunchlite, @alva-dore, @roxannadanna831, @astudyincontrasts, @mmartos, @ilikemymendarkandfictional, @juniper-sunny, @roxnpens, @a-gal-with-taste, @artwithvivien, @leave-me-alone-doctor, @fantadym

[Explicit Language] [Demon!Silco] [Silco x reader] [silco x fem!reader] [Major Character death] [angst] [mentions of suicide] [gore] [torture] [5.3k words]

Every fiber of your being floats on a cloud of bliss, coming down to earth one sense at a time. First, it’s the slightly dusty, sex-tinged scent reminding you of a night well spent. Then, the feeling of Silco’s fingers lazily massaging your scalp, prolonging your drowsy state as your face rests on his warm, gently rising chest. And lastly, the ungodly ache settling in between your legs and in your throat. It’s almost enough to keep you from feeling the straps of his vest digging uncomfortably into your cheek. 

You lift your head, eyes weepy with sleep, barely noticing the string of saliva still connecting your face to him as you try to rub the linear indents from your cheek. When you do, you’re too exhausted to be embarrassed and clean off his vest with the corner of a blanket, flashing him a reassuring smile that’s not returned. 

“What did that accomplish?” He asks, gesturing to the slightly damp blanket with a small, irate flick. 

“To clean it? Do you not know what cleaning is?”

His face scrunches up, bewildered, before his voice rises with well-practiced contempt. “By soiling the bedding?”

“Even more, you mean?” You flash him a puckish smile, and his face relaxes almost immediately. 

In another moment, he can’t stop the crooked smirk that curls his scarred lips. And you can’t help but kiss that beautiful curve, pushing yourself up with a hand on his chest for a quick but adoring peck before falling back down. The accosting affection happens too fast for Silco to guard his expressions, and you catch a delicious glimpse of vulnerable shock before it washes away as quickly as it appeared, leaving only a notable color on his unmarred cheek. 

“I’m relieved that you’re feeling yourself again—I worried the position caused lasting brain damage.”

“I mean, maybe. I was upside down for a while. And if that didn’t do it, the finale certainly did.” You nuzzle your face into him again with a content smile; straps be damned. 

Silco’s arms tense around you as he speaks slowly and deliberately, “Brain damage is not a good thing.”

You bark out a laugh, unrestrained. Silco twitches, slightly perturbed by your outburst, and loosens his grip on you. Slightly embarrassed but unable to quell the storm, you cover your mouth and roll onto your back as you unravel into sleepy giggles. 

“No shit!” You finally manage to say after a few shakey, deep breaths. “Of course, it isn’t. I’m just a troll.”

His brow raises, head nodding in agreement as he traces your jawline with a finger. “Beautiful menace.”

You smile like a fool, all too proud of the title. 

“Let’s get cleaned up.”

The thought of using your legs has a low groan escaping your pouting lips. 

“I don’t want to go home yet, Silco.” You say, eyes pleading. 

“Why go home,” he pauses with a proud air about him, “when you could use my bathroom?”

You prop yourself on your elbows as it dawns on you. “There’s running water?!”

No sooner does he nod that you’re sprinting to the bathroom on weak, wobbly legs, shouting behind you. “Good, ‘cause I really gotta pee!”

Silco is still on the bed when you return as fresh as you can be without a shower. His clothes are changed—rich blood-red silk drapes his body in shimmery decadence, and the mattress is now on the floor next to the broken frame. It’s quite the elegant sight; seeing your devil lying there, hands behind his head, dozing off. You’d prefer him without the clothing, though.

You bounce Silco awake by flopping onto the mattress, pulling a pillow under your head as you lie on your side, facing him. 

“Can I tell you something?” you inquire, biting your lip nervously now that the process has started.

He nods lazily, teal eye half-closed as he fights off sleep.

“I… dreamed about this. About us,” you reveal, confidence waning.

Are you being stupid? Probably. Do you regret mentioning it? Yes. Do you now have to explain it anyway? Also yes.

There’s just no putting the cat back in the bag. You take a deep breath and prepare to continue when he interrupts your slow thought process.

“I know.”

Two words. Two, simple, words. How can two words break your brain so thoroughly? 

“What–how?”

He answers with silence, one eye closed as the other drifts up to the ceiling, his breathing slow and relaxed. 

Did he seriously fall asleep while talking to you—after revealing something like that?! 

There's nothing like curious determination to put the wind back in your sails. You shake him awake, not even taking the time to appreciate the heat of his body bleeding through the rich fabric.

“What do you mean, ‘you know’? HOW?!” 

He groans, giving you an icy glare as he removes your hands from him.

“I possess the power to dream-walk, but it was you who made the connection. There are those among your kind that share these magical abilities—you call them ‘mages’.”

“I’M A MAGE?!” You explode into a fit of excitement. 

“NO—let me finish,” he chastises, continuing after you settle back down, “As I was saying, you are not a mage. It was just another side-effect of the flowers’ pollen.”

“Yeah, but, how do you know I’m not a mage?” You ask, very disappointed but still hoping. 

“You lost the ability to dream-walk, yes?”

The past few weeks have been quite lonely for you, and only now do you have a reason. You sigh as your hasty hopes of becoming a powerful mage dissipate. 

Wait. He can dream-walk. He was IN my dreams. 

And he has fucked you in every. Single. One. 

“Hey!” You playfully punch his arm, “You could have said something! And why did it always have to be a sex dream?!”

Silco smiles a mischievous, proud display of amusement, devilishly handsome. “You pulled me into the dreams—if you are searching for the perverse, you need only look in the mirror.”

You roll onto your back as your mind goes into shock, both from the whiplash of his sass and the grand revelation. 

“I would also like to confess something.” 

His voice has a strange, hushed tone, and you prop yourself on your side to face him again. The amusement fades from his features slowly as you wait patiently, sensing this is not the time to push him. 

“I cannot remember my past life—my human life. Only the shadows of memories remain, and they contain more feeling than anything of use.” His eyes never leave the ceiling as he speaks. 

You gently take his hand and say the only words your aching heart can find. “I’m sorry.”

He squeezes your hand, accepting the small gesture of comfort as his eye flutters closed, heavy with sleep once again. Unfortunately, this is the perfect moment for your brain to remember something that may help him. 

“Hey, so, I know this guy—a scientist, mostly. He might be able to tell you something useful.”

He perks up, eyes settling on you curiously. “What makes you think he can help a demon?”

“He’s not exactly human himself. He was—at least, I assume he was at one point. Oh, and don’t be mad, but he did send that crazy guy after me.”

“He’s the one that tried to kill you?” Silco’s face twitches with anger. 

“Well—yeah. But you’re a demon! You’ll be fine.”

“That is not what I meant.”

“Just promise not to kill him until you ask about your memories?”

“I will try my best.” He sighs heavily, conjuring his eye patch and donning it as a silent suggestion. 

Sleep comes fast to you both, and for once, you welcome your dreamless slumber with open arms. 

You wake in an empty bed, reaching out over Silco’s still-warm indent. Rolling over, you find him standing in front of the wardrobe, buttoning his sleeves. He senses your gaze and turns toward you, features harsh in the morning light. 

None of the softness remains from the night before, but you chalk it up to resting-bitch-face. 

“Tell me what you learned of the shop.” His command is blunt, but his voice is as sharp as a scalpel.

“Good morning to you, too,” you mutter, starting to gather your scattered clothing. “House Ferros is behind the factory.”

“Do you have proof?”

“They sent a fixer to the shop, and I just so happen to know who he works for,” you shrug before pulling up your pants.

“And why did they send someone?” he growls, patience wearing thin. 

Fully clothed now, you cross your arms, temper rising with each response. “Because I broke a fuckin’ window! You wanted to know who is behind it, and now you know—what’s the problem?”

He closes the gap between you, face tense with barely concealed rage. “Were you seen?” 

You drop your gaze and sigh, “Yeah, maybe.”

“How could you be so reckless?!” He yells, throwing his hands up in the air. 

The reaction surprises you as much as it shames, and you’re quick to backtrack. “It’s fine—he doesn’t know who I am! He can’t know who I am!”

“You cannot know that! Why are you so willing to throw your life away?”

“I’m not!” You protest defiantly, defenses rising. 

“I thought that monster of a man killed you when I found your mask in his hands! You would have been if I hadn’t ripped him to pieces!” He sneers, backing you against the wall with his rage. 

“I’ve changed!” You fight back, fists shaking at your side. 

“Your indifference in the face of danger is just as detrimental!” He grabs your wrists so hard you wince, shaking you as he continues his verbal assault. “You risked your life not because you care for those people—you’re suicidal!”

“Shut the fuck up!” You cry, trying to rip yourself from his grip. “Get off of me!”

“Did you not tell me as much the first night we met? Do you not remember?” He pushes you against the wall, hard and unrelenting, leaning in close to hiss through clenched teeth. “‘slit my throat—leave my body in this alley.’”

His hellfire breath burns your face, but not as much as his next words. “I thought better of you.”

All of the fight leaves you like smoke clearing from the rubble, leaving only damage in its wake. When he releases his punishing grip, you collapse against the wall, utterly numb except for your shaking breath. Silco steps away from you to peer out the window, and smooths back his hair, righting the errant strands, chest still heaving with anger. 

Your fight or flight response kicks in without his oppressive gaze to weigh it down. Pushing off the wall, you take off down the hallway, snatching your boots along the way. Clumsy feet stumble down the stairs, your shoulder crashing into the wall of the landing before sliding down the rest of the way on your heels—only Janna knows how you didn’t fall.

You hear him calling after you, but not clearly enough to decipher words. Why would you want to hear them, anyway? He’s hurt you enough for a lifetime. Tears start to well in your eyes as soon as you rip open the front door, bare feet hitting the pavement. You don’t stop—nothing can stop you. Bloody heels are a welcome pain next to the desolation brewing in your chest. 

Once you’re far enough away, you stop to slip the boots on, not bothering to lace them up. Stop too long and the raging storm of emotions will catch up; you feel the rain spitting at your back, tears slowly but steadily trailing down your face.

How could it have gone to shit so fast? Was your plan that hair-brained? You suppose it was, given that you were most likely spotted. 

This shouldn’t come as a surprise to you—everything you touch rots in one way or another. 

Dammit, you tried! You tried to be a better person, and you tried to do the right thing. But what if he’s right? What if you were just searching for a way to kill yourself this entire time? 

With home just around the bend, your feet pick up their already rushed pace, and you push your feelings back behind the overflowing dam for just a little longer. But when your front door comes into view, you see two people standing in front of it; one smaller, feminine figure with blond hair, and a large familiar man. 

You recognize the lady immediately as Sofia, Grim’s mother, and the other hulking figure as the owner of The Last Drop, Marius. The confusing pair turns toward you at the sound of your footsteps, and before you have time to think, she’s running you down.

The unstoppable woman meets the dumbfounded obstacle, and she tackles you to the ground. You land hard with your back taking the brunt of it. Her fingers claw at your shirt until it’s firmly within her steely grip. 

“Where is he?!” She screams in your face, hands shaking.

You don’t answer—how could you? She shakes you violently, and the back of your skull cracks against the pavement. Ears ringing, vision splotchy, you’re only vaguely aware of Marius pulling her off of you.  

She’s kicking and screaming, trying her damndest to break free from Marius’ iron embrace. You barely have the drive to sit up, lazily feeling the back of your head. Fingers come away bloody, and nausea swirls in your stomach. 

“Calm down, dammit!” Marius yells, “I said I’d help ya, so let me help!”

Surprisingly, she listens to him and doesn’t attack again when Marius releases her. Putting up a cautious hand blocking her, he walks to you. Meaty hands pick you up with ease, attempting to right you. 

His touch sends a bolt of anger through you, and you recoil with a pathetic cry, crashing against a nearby wall for support. 

“What the fuck do you want from me?!” 

Marius takes a step back, confusion and hurt flashing across his face. “She came to the bar looking for you—said you had her son.”

“And you believed her?!” 

“No—I told her you wouldn’t do anything of the sort! But she needed to know, and I offered to help. Look at what happened! It’s a damn good thing I’m here.”

“So, is he here or not?” She interrupts, voice venom-laced. 

“No, you dumb bitch! Why would he be with a fuck-up like me?! It’s not my fault you lost your son!”

She screams and lunges, but this time Marius is fast enough to catch her. He starts to heave her away, but before he leaves, he glances back at you, shaking his head with clear disapproval. 

Cursing under your breath, you move to your front door and push the key into the lock. Turning it, you’re surprised to feel no resistance. It’s unlocked?

Did you forget? You don’t think so—that’s one thing you always remember. 

Fuck it—you open it, letting it swing wide until it hits the wall with a soft thump. Everything is dark except for the kitchen light, which you most definitely left off. There isn’t a kitchen less used in the undercity, and you’re surrounded by abandoned buildings. 

Steeling yourself for what may be lurking, you cautiously tip-toe to the edge of the archway leading to the kitchen, staying out of the light spilling from it. Holding your breath, you peek over the woodwork, heartbeat pounding in the back of your head. Then you sigh, sagging in relief when you spy nothing amiss aside from a piece of paper on your otherwise empty table. 

The wooden chair creaks heavily as you collapse in it, and you take a moment to rest your aching head on the cool metal surface of the table. 

Dizzy and dozing, a random medical fact wiggles its way into your ear. 

Don’t fall asleep alone with a concussion. 

Somehow, you peel your heavy eyelids open and force yourself upright. The paper is either blank or upside down. Lazily, you flip it over, blinking at the handwriting. Jumbled and ever-changing, you have to refocus your eyes multiple times before you can read the whole message. 

My dear, 

you couldn’t have left a clearer trail. I should thank you, really. 

You weren’t home, so we grabbed the next best thing. 

Meet us at the old factory, and he’ll live. 

Sine

The paper falls from your hands as the meaning dawns on you. You fucked up, and now they have Grim. 

Pushed to the edge with a temper like a hairline fracture, you flip the table, screaming as you do. The chairs are next in your path of destruction; you grab them one by one, smashing everything you can before the wood is just as splintered and broken as you. 

Only after there is nothing left to destroy does your mind come back to you. Surrounded by the remnants of your kitchen, you fall to your knees. The whole world shrieks at you, recent memories clawing at your chest, all while something dark stirs within the vortex of pain consuming your heart. 

Something familiar—something that should have stayed buried. 

Silco’s voice echoes in your mind, “You risked your life not because you care for those people–you’re suicidal!”

Tears streaming down your face, you laugh. Pathetic, barely audible, gasps of air that could be mistaken for sobbing. But then the mania hits, and your whole body is shaking with the force of it. Despite the pain it causes your head—despite your torn, bloodied hands—despite ruining everything you worked so hard to achieve these past few months. 

You laugh. 

“Nothing’s changed!” You cry with every last drop of air in your lungs. 

Whimpering now, slumped in the mess you made with jagged breaths and hoarse lungs. “I’m not changed…”

Silco was right. 

The thought is bitter in your mouth as you take in the sights of the Undercity one last time. Yet here you are, walking headfirst into certain death. 

You can claim that it’s all for Grim, but you’re not in denial any more. Ekko would surely blame you just as much as you blame yourself. There is nothing left for you in this world, and it’s about time you stop pretending. 

You’re not nice or kind—certainly not selfless. The warpath is laid in front of you, primed and paved with the blood of the innocent; and your broken soul is reaching through the cracks, hungry for violence. 

At the very least, you’d like the chance to take out that bastard Sine. If you don’t deserve to live, he deserves to be dismembered. So Infamous are his crimes that House Ferros is among the most feared in the political world. 

Of course, with him gone another rat will fill his place—just not one as efficient and heinous. But that’s not your problem, even if they do somehow find another as cold and cruel as him. You won’t be here to see it. 

The old factory comes into view, its gate just as bent and broken as the last time you saw it. Hands shoved in your pockets, you trudge forward, keeping your head on a swivel. So far the place looks completely abandoned—the trucks and crates are all cleared out, leaving your footsteps to echo eerily as you approach the mouth of the factory, open and inviting. 

The darkness swallows you whole for a moment before your eyes adjust to the dim, windowless interior. Drips and drops of leaky pipes ricochet off the stone walls, and the damp, moldy air claws at your nose. 

You walk through a second set of doors leading to the main factory floor. Light filters in through the ruined glass ceiling, its dull light revealing conveyor belts and machinery littering the room, too deteriorated and dusty to have been used in this decade. They seem to have been cleared somewhat to the side, leaving a wider area of free space. 

You freeze when your eyes lock on the unmoving form of Grim. His mouth is gagged, and his head is sagging off to one side. Sweat beads at your temples as you look for signs of life, holding your breath even as your lungs scream for air. 

He sways in his seat as his chest rises and falls slowly. A shuddering breath of relief rips from your chest, and you act without thinking. One step forward, another—faster this time—you stumble toward the bait, panic gripping your heart in a vice. 

Cruel laughter erupts from behind. You spin around and fall squarely on your ass. Scrambling backward like a frantic crab, you move away from the predator about to make his move. 

“Are you even trying, my dear?” Sine sneers, lips curling upward in a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “This was too easy.”

You grit your teeth and stand tall, anger taking the place your fear should be. Even in the low light, you recognize the glint of a knife in his right hand. 

The overdramatic tones of his voice contrast harshly with his threatening visage, and the dissonance makes him appear nightmarish as he leisurely approaches. Each step is calm and collected, but you sense the danger underneath, coiled tightly like a snake about to strike.

You maintain your distance, treading backward cautiously as your eyes never leave the monster in front of you. Grim lets out a hushed sob, and you cannot help but glance behind. Before you can blink, Sine is on top of you, pushing you to the ground. The thin blade of his knife presses against your throat, cutting your fight short. His weight pins you to the floor, rancid breath bathing your face in a disgusting stew of rotten teeth and onions. 

“Please tell me you brought a weapon?” He pleads while his free hand pats you down.

You push fruitlessly against him as your entire body tenses under his touch.

“Get the fuck off me!” you growl through gritted teeth when his touch lingers where it shouldn’t.

“But the fight is the best part!” He laughs, madness seeping into the heightening tones of his delight.

A shuddering growl leaves your trembling lips. The sound excites him, and the prospect turns your stomach. Eyes closed tight, you beat your emotions down with a few deep breaths.

Forget the knife—forget his hand. Focus, dammit. You do not have to give him what he craves. When your eyes open again, you see the pathetic man under the monster’s skin and smile.

“You’ll get no such satisfaction from me,” you say with a flat voice. 

He sneers, pondering you for a moment before flipping you on your stomach. With movements stronger than you would credit him for, he binds your hands behind your back and pulls you off the ground by your arms. You’re barely back on your feet before he pushes you into the chair opposite Grim. 

For the first time, your terrified gazes meet. Tear-streaked, dirty face and watery eyes—the sight is a punch in the gut. 

“Let him go—you said you’d let him go if I surrendered!”

“And that’s still true,” his voice sing-song as he loops your bound arms around the back of the chair. 

“I won’t talk until you do.”

He chuckles as he ties your feet to the chair legs from behind. Cursing under your breath, you hoped he would tie them from the front so you could at least kick him. But no—he’s too experienced for your petty tricks. 

When he rises, he hums curiously as his hands poke and prod at your blood-matted hair. “My, my—you have such an affinity for trouble.”

You grimace as his fingers press into your wound, but hold back your cry of pain. Your body betrays you though; back as stiff and straight as a gurney, fingernails digging into your palms. 

“Oh, this is going to be fun.” He walks into your view, twirling his switchblade in his hand. 

Grim starts to shake when Sine grows near, terrified eyes locked on the knife, but it’s out of his sight before long. You struggle against your bindings when Sine stops behind him, holding the knife out threateningly with a smile. 

“Don’t you fucking hurt him!”

He smirks, satisfied with your outburst, and cuts Grim free. 

The boy flops to the ground, his movements wobbly and uncoordinated. 

“What did you do to him?” You ask, wrought with worry. 

“Oh, come now. I don’t hurt kids. I find them loud and irritating, but that’s nothing a little sedative can’t cure.” Sine takes great joy in watching Grim stagger out of the factory as fast as his drunk legs will allow. “He’ll be fine in a couple of hours.”

You can only hope Sine is telling the truth. Janna only knows what he did to Grim before you arrived. The kid can barely keep his mouth shut, and yet he didn’t utter a single thing. 

Seething hatred courses through you at the thought. But with no hope of freeing yourself, and no wiggle room to even make a dent, you hang your head in defeat, revolted by your weakness. 

You should have brought a weapon, dammit! But you foolishly thought there would be more than just Sine waiting for you. Why did you think that? You’re not important—not terribly dangerous either. Why would you warrant such a greeting?

A short burst of air forces its way from your lungs, the sound of forbidden amusement. You really haven’t changed, have you? Even after all of this. 

You can’t help but find it funny, in a hopeless way. 

Sine drags the empty chair closer and takes his seat, unfazed by your reactions. Expertly, the blade pushes through your pants at the knee, and the point of entrance stings as fresh blood hits the air. 

“Oops!” Sine looks overjoyed at the sight of the small cut and dangles the point of his knife over it. 

Resting just behind your patella, you can only imagine the world of pain it would cause if he sunk it deep into your leg. 

“Now that we’re alone—we can start. You’ve been such a naughty girl, but you’re not capable of dismantling the factory single-handed. Politics,” he spits, scrunching his face in disgust, “never interested me. This is personal, let me assure you. See, not only did you destroy such a lucrative business, but you also cut them off from those intoxicating little flowers. I supplied the subjects for their experiments, of course, and in turn, I observed the most remarkable transformations since the invention of Shimmer!”

Sine’s voice hits an all-time high, brimming with excitement, but starts to warp, contorting with rage. “And you RUINED it!” 

Your blood-curdling scream echoes through the factory as he sinks the knife into you. The pain is white-hot, shooting up your leg and shredding your nerves as it rides the rigid posture of your spine. 

You see the knife sticking out and hyperventilate, barely holding in another scream. Loud, heaving sobs shake your body, sweat soaking through your clothes. 

Sine looks bored through it all, sitting back in his chair and crossing his legs like he’s in a waiting room. “Do hurry up and get it out of your system….”

All gnashing teeth and strained muscles, you lash out like a caged, feral animal. He snorts, clearly tickled by your pathetic display. The fight leaves your body with a final, wretched sob, and you bow your head again: jaw slack, a line of drool hanging off your lips, and quietly sniffling. 

Sine clears his throat as if your pain were a mere annoyance. “Now, where were we? Oh, yes. Other than an obviously unrelated report of a burger-stealing demon, I haven’t heard much of anything of our dear friend. Won’t you tell me about him?”

“I don’t,” you swallow hard, voice raspy from strain, “I don’t really know him.”

“But surely you can tell me where to find him?”

“Why?” The answer comes to your bedraggled mind as soon as the question leaves your mouth. 

“To put him out of his misery—the same as you.” Sine drops his casual facade and leans in close. “Do I have to repeat myself?”

The words should come easy, but you choke on them. You hate him—don’t you? Yes, you fucked up, but Silco used you. Dammit! Then why can’t you give him up? 

Sine grumbles and grabs the knife, wiggling it while watching you with sick satisfaction as you squeal. 

You beg incoherently in between shuddering sobs before crying out, “I’ll tell you-I’ll tell you everything! Pl–please stop!”

Sine releases the knife and sits back again, mercifully letting you catch your breath. 

“He lives by the old r-revolutionary statue. The place with the glass roof,” you slur, voice quivering. 

“And here I thought you were loyal.” Sarcasm drips from his melodic tones.

“You didn’t give me a choice,” you murmur, head lolling off to the side. 

“There is always a choice. You could have chosen to be a beggar on the street rather than work in a chop-house. Just like you could have chosen to take the bullying, but the same is true now as it was then. You despise people; you work at Mort’s because, at the end of the day, you like it. You’re the dredge of society, and you know it.”

“I’m flattered you took such an interest in me,” you rasp.

It is with only small satisfaction that you imagine Sine’s gnarly fate at the hands of an actual demon. He pulls the knife from you in a swift, fluid motion. Through gritted teeth, you bare it, and the feeling barely registers over the swelling pain. 

Sine stands over you, leaning one hand on the back of your chair while pulling back the other, and sighs. “Mort’s won’t be the same without you.”

The air leaves your lungs in a burst as his hand punches into your gut, and it’s only on the pullout that you see the crimson spilling out of you. Another punch, another, and another. Sine grunts from the effort, panting, eyes wide as he plunges the knife into you without end. 

“Fuck,” you whimper, watching your shirt stain red. 

Sine rests his hands on his knees to catch his breath with a wide, manic smile stretching his face unnaturally. Calmer now, he wipes the blade on your sleeve as he walks behind you. Just as swiftly as he cut Grim free, he releases your bindings, pushing your already slumping body the rest of the way to the hard ground. 

The fall was hard, and you swear you hear your shoulder pop from the impact, but you don’t feel it. Your warmth drains out of you through so many wounds, but you don’t see it. 

Body growing cold and numb, your mind sinks somewhere further in, deep inside your body, but not of it. You welcome the feeling—this is the release you longed for, isn’t it?

Tears spill from your eyes as readily as the blood from your abdomen. Your wants no longer matter when you’re adrift between life and death. 

Everything grows still—so very quiet that you think death has taken you. It is here, floating on the precipice, that you hear faint echoes of familiar voices. 

Then, screaming hurts your ears as the world comes rushing back into focus. You open your eyes to see two bloody hands snapping in front of your face. Sofia kneels before you, eyes brimming with fiery anger. 

She speaks—you’re too far gone to understand her, but she’s holding your hand oh so gently. Why? Why do you deserve such kindness? Oh, Janna, you don’t deserve this, but it feels so nice. 

With the last of your energy, you squeeze her hand tight and mutter, “I’m sorry.”

The numbness overtakes you, carrying away your torment and your pain, along with your last breath.

Next Chapter

[laurelnose]

good news! I don’t have a brain tumor 🥰

so basically what happened is

mid-december: i acquire Debilitating Migraine, 10 out of 10 worst pain I’ve felt in my entire fucking life Migraine, worse than the time I spent three weeks recovering from major surgery completely sober because I am inexplicably resistant to just about every class of painkiller I’ve ever tried Migraine. (I actually only rank the surgery experience about a 6 out of 10 on the pain scale.) we get the migraine down to Bad But Manageable by locating several new Christmas light strings that turned out to be flickering at speeds the human eye could not detect but my human brain certainly could and throwing them all out. I make a doctor’s appointment.

last week: I finally see my PCP. she prescribes me a triptan, which is an abortive med that is meant to stop migraine attacks. the triptan decreases the headache but does not remove it entirely. also, the damn thing keeps getting worse again. I try it three times over the week, which is the maximum number of times you’re supposed to take a triptan in a month. almost like you’re not supposed to have more than three headaches in a month or something?? weird. well, technically I haven’t had three. it’s all the Same Damn Headache.

this same day I also pick up a topiramate prescription, which is a preventative. i am advised i can start the topiramate even if i am not pain free. maybe if i give it a day or two it will help even if i am currently having an attack??

wednesday i see my PCP for followup and tell her i am still in pain. she offers to get me squeezed in to have an intramuscular toradol (heavy-duty NSAID) shot. this kicks in within 20 minutes and doubles my migraine pain. I was at 3-ish and now I am at 6 and unhappy about it.

i do not come back down from the level the toradol kicked me up to. i survive thursday by not doing very much of anything.

uh? holy shit? yeah, sure?

friday the pain becomes unbearable. back up to an 8, which isn’t the worst it’s been but it’s also Day Forty Fucking Two and I’m so tired. I leave work early & go to urgent care where they pump me fulla benadryl and dexamethasone. absolutely none of this is fun — the dexamethasone feels like a panic attack and the benadryl makes me dizzy and light-headed + makes it very hard to think of words? what the shit do people take benadryl recreationally for? but! the pain diminishes dramatically. after the IV’s done they get me in for a CT scan and are like hey! you don’t have a brain tumor! (I was not actually worried I had a brain tumor but it’s always nice to rule it out.) but you do have a sinus infection and a bunch of fluid buildup that’s probably triggering the migraine. (really? but I haven’t been congested?) yeah, no, it’s really deep in there. do you wanna do antibiotics and sudafed about that to clear up the fluid?

saturday morning the head pain is back but it’s mild and it feels LIKE A FUCKING SINUS HEADACHE and not a migraine anymore oh my god. Guess what kinds of headaches are fucking fixable and tend not to be intractable and unpreventable. It’s also like, a manageable amount of pain? It hurts but I feel okay?? I get thru work without taking my breaks in the dark with a heat pad? I look at headlights on the dark road coming home and am not immediately debilitated? 😭 Maybe in a week and a half when the antibiotics course is done I will actually just be Fine??

I really shoulda gone to urgent care back in December. Too bad I didn’t quite realize you could go to urgent care for migraines until I’d seen my PCP for the first time and that couldn’t happen earlier bc, well, appointments are hard to come by.

I’m wondering in hindsight if the triptan WAS kicking the migraine more effectively than I thought it was and i couldn’t tell because I had a sinus headache underneath (which kept bringing the migraine back). this also explains why I was getting decent results with Vick’s VapoRub LMAO. Like some people do swear by menthol for migraines but it was probably helping the congestion too.

anyways this is why I’ve been quiet. I will be quiet for a little while longer probably bc the sinus headache is still not fun but it is getting better. in fact i had to get up and eat breakfast to take my antibiotic but it is sunday and i don’t actually want to be awake so i think i’m going back to bed

i am never letting anyone talk me into taking another NSAID ever fucking again.

[thevondoom62]

Well, this has been a bit of a controversial one. From its very announcement to delivery date, the Marvel Legends Retro Venom has been one divisive figure. I've heard people praise this thing to high heaven and others who absolutely HATE it, calling it trash. Where do I sit on the matter?

First thing's first, wow! A Walmart exclusive where preorders were up for a long time and it actually shipped out! Incredible! Congrats for doing the bare minimum, Wally World.

Let's address the biggest issue upfront here: that neck. Right out the box, that head articulation is nigh worthless. You get some tilt, but the up movement is PITIFUL. I normally like to mince words, try to be nice, but it is actually just bad. I took an exacto knife to it and carved it up until it got better movement. Then I sanded it down to make it look smoother. I shouldn't have to do that. Hasbro seems like it just can't figure out the dumbell joint, except when they can. Like, classic War Machine, Baron Helmut Zemo, and NWH Green Goblin all have pretty good ones. Even movie/KiB Venom was passable to me. This, though? No good. Might be a safety standards thing, but if so, they're better off sticking with disc hinges.

With that fixed, the second biggest issue I've heard is that it's gummy. Well, mine doesn't feel that gummy. Certainly more solid than the Pulsecon Animated Venom felt. It's about par for the course with Hasbro, maybe a little softer but not by much. It's certainly no first release movie Ant-Man, that's for sure. That one felt like it was made of Twizzlers.

The paint has been another sticking point, quite literally. The logo feels thick and tacky, which... yeah. It does. My Pulsecon Venom and Retro Carded Symbiote Spidey had the same issue. Both of those eventually destickied and I can already feel the same happening to this one. It has to be the process they use to print the logo on so cleanly. However, I do have one major complaint with the paint! The inverted ab crunch clashes with the pelvis when pushed fully forward. This has resulted in paint damage on the logo, which I had to patch up. Now I can mod a figure no problem, but I HATE painting them. My hands are too damn shaky and the way the colors never fully match unless you mix, augh. Paint wear is inevitable, especially with how I handle my toys, but it would have been nice if they designed it with extra clearance between plastic.

Wow, that's a lot of words! A lot of this might seem negative, but I'm just addressing the current conversation. I've seen a lot of varied opinions on this one. I feel you can tell by how many pics I've taken that I fall on the very positive end of the spectrum. It is probably the closest I've gotten to that ideal Venom in toy form. He's so squat and chunky looking, while still being appropriately tall. Not overly hulking, proportions are juuuust right. Articulation is superb, neck aside. Everything feels fluid, even if I'll always want more movement at the hips. Sculpt is good. I wasn't crazy about the tongue lashing head at first since it skews so modern, but I kinda dig it now. The real prize is that grinning face, though! Looks like a mix between Bagley and McFarlane, it rocks!

I don't know if I've ever typed this much out for a toy before. I try to keep as brief as possible, but there was a lot to say. It's for sure got problems, but I can't help but love it.

[all-pacas]

chase cameron and foreman all went for drinks regularly on s1, then again on s3. they might not have been best friends but they weren't hostile at all unless things got bad at work.

they have very few non work related interactions in the season, weirdly - i wouldn't say they get along or not. the first time we see them getting drinks is halfway thru the season in sports medicine. we don't actually see them do so all that much: a few times in that episode (one of which was dinner with a drug rep) but again until s3. i do think they generally get along as coworkers, but… friends?

even when things are fine, they certainly do have a lot of moments of snark and animosity. just off the top of my head, foreman openly dislikes chase (and chase tells a patient such), and he openly derides him over the vogler situation. cameron gets teased by the guys for being naive and for her crush on house; she in turn picks on chase a little, and expresses frustration with them both. chase picks on foreman a little (most notably his telling a patient while foreman is in the room that "foreman doesn't like me, either").

in s2 there's a lot more. there's Article-Gate, of course, but we also get foreman complaining to stacy about how fake and annoying chase is, we get cameron's little comment in euphoria about foreman being terrible with patients, we get foreman trying to manipulate cameron and we get the start of "i couldn't have made a mistake, it was obviously chase" from foreman; . on a slightly more… meta?… level, we get cameron doing meth and hooking up with chase on the assumption that he would fuck her on meth; she even tells him she doesn't think he's a "good guy" when he hesitates, and later she gets pretty snarky towards him about her performance.

s3 there's yet more! cameron and foreman both make fun of chase for being a spoiled rich kid and assume he's going to rat to tritter because of it: cameron also has a quite rude comment about how chase's dad never loved him in 'lines in the sand.' chase and foreman have a whole Thing in 'cane and able' about whether or not chase fucked up a test, with foreman really going for it: foreman outright tells chase he never liked him later on, and chase refuses to help him with his job application: foreman is also generally exasperated with chase and cameron's fwb thing, which, fair enough, but also makes a fair number of comments about how cameron is 'insufferable' (as in, don't dump her, chase, she's annoying enough without heartbreak). foreman also implies cameron is weak/needs to toughen up (she calls him on it, and he does apologize although he doesn't take it back).

conversely, what about times they do show friendship or compassion? they get drinks 2-3 times. cameron tries to support (slash pry) chase when his dad is around, but chase shoots her down flat. chase is worried-ish about cameron when she might be infected with HIV, but house calls it fake: cameron doesn't throw chase under the bus when stacy is digging in the mistake. foreman does call cameron a good doctor and a good person in euphoria, but she makes it clear she knows he's manipulating her, so who knows how much is sincere or she believes. cameron is nice to foreman when he resigns, and chase is nice to foreman and offers to get drunk with him after he kills the lady in s3. neither of the guys reaches out to cameron in s1 when she's upset about the dead baby (foreman criticizes her openly); neither foreman or cameron react that we can see when chase is broken up about the dead baby in s3.

of the three, foreman is actually pretty damn open about the fact that he does not like chase, but he's dismissive about cameron as well. cameron and chase get along slightly better - they're less likely to have major arguments, i think mostly because they're passive-aggressive in similar ways - but she can be pretty mean to him, and he can be pretty bitchy towards foreman. aside from 2-3 times socializing after work, we never hear of them being friends: foreman is adamant that they're not, for all that cameron and chase become an Official Couple they really aren't close either. they're coworkers who work together. they get along, but they aren't friends. they are far more likely to snark than to bond, it's very rare they are supportive, and when they are it's usually cameron doing the reaching out. (to foreman, i think. the two actually do seem to get along when they aren't having huge blowouts about articles; i think they respect one another more than either respects chase, lol)

i'm not saying you're wrong. i don't think, jokes aside, they sit around plotting to undermine and destroy one another. but they also are not friends. it's really not until s4 and 5 we see them go out of their way to socialize.