#it can get better

[furiousgoldfish]

Abuse is so over-stimulating for the brain, after you've been thru it long term, small stimulation that would usually change someone's mood or at least peak their interest, just doesn't feel like anything. Your brain keeps inventing extreme things like it wants them to happen and it's just because it's so used to overstimulation that it's now craving it in order to give you bits of relief and engagement.

It's just so damn draining to live like that. Having to keep ignoring that craving and worrying you'll give into it or feeling bad for the craving in the first place. Having weird impulses or fantasies and having to keep quiet so people don't get freaked out. And it's literally because of nothing you did. It's just because the aftermath of abuse is hell on earth.

[linka-r9-vysocina]

So I found this screenshot from some time ago, maybe two or three years, of my own post

and I realised, once again, that I am now really doing so, so much better

[benilos]

[scrumptiousartisanheart]

It's only the first race, it's only the first race! it's ONLY the first race! IT'S ONLY THE FIRST RACE...

(shattering sounds and screams)

[themostleastuseful]

Smile through the tame

Hello again citizens of the unfathomably vast sea of words known as the internet, I am back with another review nobody asked for. This one’s kind of heavy, so reader discretion is advised.

(I tried to be a little less spoilery, not sure how well I did.)

This time, I’m talking about something a little more recent: Smile. While leaps and bounds above the floor-level bar that was I Am The Movie With the Overly Long Name, Smile was ultimately so-so. The premise had promise (heh), but the protagonist Rosie Cotter was unsympathetic and surprisingly stupid for someone with a doctorate in psychology. The plot felt rushed, especially Cotter’s descent into madness. There were some genuinely disturbing scenes, but they don’t feel like quite enough to (spoiler) drive someone to kill themselves in a week. The themes of cyclical trauma felt pretty shallow for a psychological horror, and I left the couch mostly just feeling disappointed.

So Smile is based around a curse or monster (never clarified) that thrives on fear and despair. It hijacks a victim’s senses to produce extremely lifelike hallucinations that often include someone smiling creepily until it breaks their will and forces them to gruesomely kill themselves in front of someone else, who will then go on to suffer the same fate. As a non-psychological horror movie that works perfectly fine. As a psychological horror movie, however, it feels like it way oversimplifies trauma.

 Trauma is complicated, and it changes both the way we view the world and how we interact with others. It manifests in different ways, PTSD and depression being common but not the only possible symptoms. All traumatized people do not commit or attempt suicide, nor are all people traumatized by the same things. In the movie we see a chain of deaths in a linear order, but real suicides hurt a lot more than just one person. They hurt witnesses, yes, but they also hurt loved ones, friends, neighbors, even fellow sufferers of trauma who wonder “If he couldn’t take it, what hope do I have?” It’s not unbeatable, though. Therapy and medication can help, as can just talking to someone. Rosie Cotter doesn’t do any of that despite being a therapist herself, which is a bit infuriating, but I think it holds some hidden potential.

By itself, I think Smile sends a bad message about the hopelessness of mental illness. No matter what, the situation could only end badly. If they were to make a sequel, though, there could be a fix. Have a new protagonist become afflicted with the curse, but instead of denying it for half the movie, have them acknowledge it but try to solve it on their own. When that fails, have them discover that telling people about the hallucinations in detail reduces their severity. They struggle with the idea that they are burdening others with their own private suffering, but eventually realize that being cursed/mentally ill is not their fault. Everyone has burdens to bear, but there are people willing to share the weight if one simply asks. The movie ends with them in a mental hospital still seeing things but refusing to give in and ruin someone else’s life. It will never go away entirely, but with enough hard work, the protagonist may be able to live a somewhat normal life.

[bunnyseahorse-blog]

I was today years old when I...

realized that my anger comes from a nervous place, and not an angry place. I learned in DBT that anger is usually a secondary emotion. People don’t generally feel angry as a primary emotion unless they are ready to fight for their lives, or have truly been wronged. I am angry a lot... and tonight my argument turned into a huge panic attack. Like a full body shaking thing where i almost threw up, and my mom had to come talk me down, and I had to take my emergency meds. I didn’t see it coming, i thought I was mad, and I was, but the anxiety in the mix was a really big surprise.

I know now that I am not an angry person. i am a person who happens to be an incredibly anxious person who uses anger as an ineffective coping skill. 

Something about realizing this was freeing. Now I can work on my anxiety more. maybe that is a more direct way of handling things. Prevent anger instead of shaming myself for it. Maybe this is an angle that I can work more easily

[eldritchnonsensefromthevoid]

Life your life so when you greet death, even if it is earlier then you wanted, you can have this woman's mindset.

Do that fun thing, hang out with friends, take care of yourself, take that first (or second, third, etc.) step to doing better. Live your life in a way you can be proud of and always move forward. (Sometimes that forward is stopping to rest)

And remember, love yourself, even finding just a little part you love will do. There are people who love you, if you don't know any, you haven't found them yet, their out there

I have an end-of-life patient to whom I spoke today. She burst out laughing and said, "It was all such fun. I just had so much fun." I wish this for everyone. I wish that we each would meet death laughing, with little regret and even less fear.

[macbethz]

Well I like it but it’s not very well written. Also it’s a visual mess. The plot doesnt make any sense and the creators suck and its politics oscillate from mildly problematic to frankly baffling. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. However. the character

[beebfreeb]

Messaging people for the first time is so hard. What am I supposed to say? Like, "You seem really odd and your blog intrigues me. Do you want to have philosophical conversations or perhaps talk about fictional characters?" What! Whatever. I will just follow you back and stare at your blog with my big beautiful brown eyes.

[mythtakens]

“these characters should be mentally healthy before they get together 😌” ummm no I actually think we should smash their mental illnesses together like clumps of play-doh and see what colors it makes

[ninjakittycomics]

(I am doing my best to refrain from thinking bout this... self forgiveness is a must)  (and I remember, we’re all just doing our best)

uh oh! you misunderstood a social cue and said something mildly awkward. you will think about this and cringe everyday for the next 20 years

[sunfortune]

booktok did ruin a lot of romance novels bc of the demand for instant gratification but culturally it is kind of a slay that so many young women are just reading smut and masturbating all day #respect

[crochetagogo]

I'm still learning this. And before my terrible experience was over I was convinced I wasn't worth shit. Thank goodness I got out of there.

[beepost-generator]

School can be fucking purgatory.

My life is far from perfect and I've got new difficulties to deal with... But I've gained skills, stability, and independence to address them.

"life doesnt get better, you just get stronger" does NOT include ages 11-17. life does in fact just get better from there. those years are dogshit. like, you do get stronger but its mostly just a factor of not being 11-17 anymore. positive thinking helps but it doesnt fix whatevers going on at 15, you have to brute force through that one raw

[pine-flames]

Blocking everyone who is doomposting and telling people to give up. You're part of the problem, babe!

[16th-cornelia-street]

for those that need it. Guy Branum's concession speech