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dontcare77ghj · 5 years ago

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Scared

Natasha x reader x Tony x Steve

Warnings: Talk of miscarriage. Abusive relationship. Please don't read if it's triggering.

As the sister of Clint Barton, you had seen your fair share of stupid things. For example, your brother fighting an alien invasion with a bow and arrow. You'd also been known to make some idiotic decisions yourself.

When Clint joined the Avengers, he had invited you down to meet them. You'd lived in NYC for years, but it had been a while since you'd been able to see your brother.

Apart from being able to see Clint, your trip to the Tower meant that you had met his team. And as your visits to the Tower became more frequent, you became close to Natasha, Steve, and Tony.

The three had been dating for a while now, something the media always loved to comment on.

The four of you continued to grow close, and the longer you were around them, the more you found yourself enamored with them. Only two things were standing in the way of you saying anything. One, they would never go for you. And two, you were already in a relationship.

You and Andrew had been together for a year when you met the trio. Andrew was more like your father than he should have been. A drunk, abusive man who you knew you should leave, but Andrew loved you. Or at least that's what he told you.

You never told anyone about the excessive arguments. Never mentioned anyone how the exchanges always resulted in screaming and eventually physical blows.

Andrew always apologized, always promised he'd changed. And you believed him.

He'd have to change one of these days, right?

"How are you going to tell him?" Clint asked you one day.

"I was just going to say it. How did Laura tell you?" You questioned your brother.

"With Cooper Laura gave me a book of names and said we'd have to pick one. With Lila, she put a bun in the oven, and with Nathaniel, she threw a diaper at me and yelled at me for the lack of sleep she'd be getting." Clint smiled as you giggled.

"I don't think I'll be doing that." You said as Clint pressed a hand to your flat stomach.

"I'm going to be the best uncle ever. I'm going to spoil this little bean rotten." Clint cooed.

"Unless Barney suddenly turns up, I'm pretty sure you're the only uncle." You smiled.

"Still going to be the best." Clint shrugged.

"I have to get going." You said to your brother. "Andrew will be home soon, and I want to have dinner ready."

"Alright, take care of yourself. And the bean. Call me later." Clint said, hugging you once more before you were leaving.

You were in the middle of cooking dinner when you heard the door being unlocked.

"What's cooking?" Andrew yelled as the door closed behind him.

"Carbonara." You called back, beginning to plate up the pasta dish. Andrew grunted as he slumped into his chair. "Long day, Drew?" You questioned, handing him a beer.

"Dealt with idiots all day." He grumbled. The two of you began to eat your dinner, Andrew complaining about work for most of it, and settled into your regular routine.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" Andrew asked as you stood and collected the dishes.

"You could tell?" You asked, not looking at the man.

"Don't think you were paying attention to anything I said," Andrew grunted. "What could be so important, you'd ignore me?"

"I'm pregnant." You casually said as you put the plates in the sink.

"What?"

"I'm pregnant." You repeated, turning with a smile. Andrew stared at you for several seconds with a blank stare. "Andrew?"

"You stupid slut," Andrew growled, his face darkening as he thundered forward. "Who's is it?" He yelled, slapping you across the face.

"Yours!" You yelped, hand clutching your throbbing cheek. "It's yours, Andrew!"

"Bullshit!" He roared. "Whatever that thing is inside your belly is not mine! So admit it, who's is it?" Andrew screamed, shooting forward and grabbing you by the throat.

"It's yours, Andrew! I swear!" You choked out, grasping his hand with both your hands.

Andrew stared down at you with a blank expression. You could feel your face turning different shades as you continued to gasp. Finally, Andrew released your throat and threw you to the side.

"It's not mine." He denied. "I'm going out. You have an hour to get your shit and get out. We're done."

"Andrew, no, please don't do this." You begged, rushing to your feet.

"It's already done." He said, storming out the door. You stood there, staring at the door for what felt like days, waiting for him to come back. To apologize, to make it up to you. But he didn't come back.

You couldn't move until the shrill ringing of your phone.

"Did you tell him yet?" Clint's excited voice came through the line. "Did you?"

"Clint?" You whispered, interrupting his excited rambling. "Clint, can you come over, please?"

"Sweetheart, are you okay?" Clint asked as you heard movement down the line.

"No." You honestly answered.

Clint had come over that night and immediately, as well as swiftly, helped you pack up your belongings. He'd put your things into his car and drove you to a 24-hour diner.

You'd explained everything to him. Clint had been upset that you hadn't told him about Andrew's abusive tendencies but hadn't been too hard on you.

Clint had called ahead to the Tower and said you'd be staying the night. You'd allowed him to explain to Tony what your situation was and the man had quickly offered you a room.

You'd been at the Tower for a week now. You were 14 weeks pregnant, and you felt a sense of peace living at the Tower. Your brother was regularly in your apartment, and Natasha, Steve, and Tony were also frequently with you.

"Okay, if it's a boy, how about Tony?" Tony suggested as he watched you make a bowl of popcorn.

"I'm not naming it after you." You giggled.

"I think Natalia is a good name," Natasha commented.

"Clint's already named a child after you." You pointed out. "I don't want to name them after anyone. I want them to have their own namesake." You said, wincing at the sharp pain in your back.

"You okay?" Natasha asked, standing quickly.

"I'm fine. I moved the wrong way." You waved her off.

"You should really sit down. You've got precious cargo." Tony said, rounding the kitchen island.

"You two are worrywarts." You rolled your eyes fondly.

"Rude." Tony scoffed as Steve entered the apartment. "Steve, tell her we're not worrywarts."

"You kind of are," Steve said, making Tony gasp in faux shock. "Mail for you, Y/N." He handed you an envelope.

"Didn't think anyone knew I was here." You commented, opening the envelope. "Oh." You breathed upon seeing what the forms were.

"What is it, kotenok?" Natasha asked as she poured the popcorn into a bowl.

"Andrew's signed away his parental rights." You murmured, placing the forms on the bench. "I should've seen that coming."

"I'm sorry, doll," Steve said, taking your hand.

"The man is a dick anyway. He doesn't deserve either of you." Tony told you.

"I agree with you on that." You smiled at the man. "You three start the movie." You said, standing up. "I need to use the bathroom."

Moving quickly into the bathroom, wincing at the pain in your lower back, you shut the door behind you and sunk to the floor. You managed to stifle your sobs as you bit down on your knuckles and cried.

You only allowed yourself to cry for a minute before you forced yourself to stand. Looking in the mirror, you wiped away your tears before turning around. You were about to leave but froze as you saw the blood on the floor.

Your eyes shot down, and your heart stopped at the blood, staining your blue shorts.

You didn't even realize you screamed until the door was knocked down. Steve rushed into the bathroom, Natasha, and Tony right behind him, but all three froze at the sight of you covered in blood.

Natasha was the first to break out of her stupor and move towards you. She wrapped her arms around you just as your knees gave out.

"It's okay, kotenok. It's okay. Let's get you to the infirmary. We're right here." Natasha soothed as both men remained behind the two of you. "We're here for you."

"Laura's going to come down soon." Clint quietly told you. You had been in the infirmary since yesterday. Natasha, Steve, Tony, and Clint had refused to leave your side even as you were being checked out.

Currently, the former three were littered on a couch they had dragged to your bedside, fast asleep. Clint was seated on a chair on your other side, one of his hands gripping yours.

You hadn't said much since yesterday. You had not cried and had barely slept.

"She doesn't have to do that." You croaked, staring at the wall.

"She wants to," Clint assured you. "She gave me a lecture because I haven't brought you home in a while."

"You haven't been home in a while." You managed a smile.

"Got a lecture on that too." He told you with the smallest of smiles. "How are you feeling, sweetheart?" Clint asked.

"Shit." You responded. "I really wanted this baby." You added after a minute.

"You can cry, Y/N. No-one would judge you." Clint told you.

"I don't think I'm going to be able to cry." You admitted to him.

"Why not?"

"Because it was my fault." You said. "The baby knew its father didn't want it, so it died. I should have tried harder to get Andrew to love him."

"Hey, no, that's not fair to you," Clint said, shifting closer and squeezing your hand. "Women miscarriage every day, it is not your fault. And you don't need Andrew. You don't need him in your life, and your baby wouldn't have needed him either."

"I got excited about this baby." You whispered, squeezing your brother's hand back.

"I know, sweetheart. I'm sorry." Clint whispered, crawling onto the bed and wrapping his arms around you.

Five years could pass in the blink in an eye. For some, nothing changed, and they continued their mundane existence. For others, every day was a new experience.

You fell into the latter category. Every day was a new experience, a unique moment, and new dumb things to witness.

You never fully got over the loss of your babe. A part of you would never be able to forget the life you lost.

Healing was an arduous process, but one everyone said you were doing as best you could. Steve was the one who talked you into speaking to a therapist, and it was one of the better decisions you'd made.

Another change that had occurred during the past five years was your living situation. For the first year, you'd stayed in the Tower. Tony had forced you to stay right where you were. He believed it wouldn't help your healing journey if you were to uproot yourself.

But after the first year, things had changed. You were still living in the Tower, just not where you started.

Almost a year after you lost your baby, you'd been having a movie night with Steve, Natasha, and Tony. The four of you had pulled out some drinks, and you each were drinking more than usual. You were all letting loose.

Letting loose seemed to include your loose lips being set free. Free enough to admit that you were falling for each of them. As it turns out, their mouths were just as unbound as yours. And were spilling secrets that were similar to yours.

The four of you awoke the next morning, each remembering the events of last night very clearly. It had led to a long morning, filled with coffee, Tylenol, and explanations of feelings.

You left their floor hours later with a hangover and the promise of a date later that night.

Four years later, the four of you were still together. The four of you were extremely happy together, and you could credit them for the healing you went through.

You were used to being left alone for long periods. With your brother, partners, and most of your friends being Avengers, you'd quickly gotten used to changes in schedules.

Plans changed as readily as they were made, and nothing was ever set in stone.

Steve, Tony, and Natasha had been gone for two weeks and would be gone for another three days still. And right now you were grateful they couldn't see you.

You had to hold your hair back as another bout of nausea struck you, and you brought up the last of your breakfast.

"Miss, Mr. Barton is requesting permission to enter the floor." JARVIS interrupted over your vomiting.

"You can let him in, thanks, JARVIS.”You said before throwing up again.

"Someone looks like they had fun last night," Clint commented, entering the bathroom and holding your hair back.

"Fuck off." You groaned once you finished. "I didn't drink anything last night."

"You give yourself food poisoning again?" Clint questioned as you stood and grabbed your toothbrush.

"I did that once, how was I to know the chicken was off?" You rolled your eyes as Clint chuckled. "I ordered out last night, don't think there was anything wrong with it." You told him as you began to brush your teeth.

"Okay, I have to ask you something that I don't really want to," Clint said after a minute. "When was the last time you had sex?" He asked, causing you to spit out the toothpaste.

"It's not that." You said immediately, cleaning the toothpaste for your face.

"Have you taken a test?" He continued to question you. "Were you using protection the last time you had sex?"

"Clint, it's not that." You denied him once more.

"How can you be sure if you haven't taken a test?" Clint asked you.

"Because I can't be!" You shouted, throwing your toothbrush down. "I can't be pregnant." You said in a much quieter tone.

"Y/N, I get you're scared," Clint started, standing and moving in front of you.

"I'm not scared, Clint. I'm terrified." You corrected him. "I can't lose another child."

"Oh, sweetheart." Clint sighed at the sight of your tear-filled eyes. Your brother pulled you into a hug, and you fisted your hands into his shirt.

"I can't go through that again." You whispered.

"If you are pregnant, nothing is going to happen. If you are pregnant, you are not alone. I will be with you every step of the way, and so will Steve, and Nat, and Tony." Clint promised, putting his hands on your shoulders and pulling back to look at you.

"What if they don't want it?" You asked him. "What if they don't want the baby?"

"I highly doubt they're not going to want this baby. If you are pregnant, I'm pretty sure they're going to want it and be more excited than anyone."

"I think I need to take a pregnancy test." You whispered after several seconds.

"You're quiet, baby doll." Steve murmured against your neck. The three had returned home yesterday morning, a little battered and a little bruised, but otherwise okay.

The four of you had spent the day in bed, only leaving to shower and to scavenge for food. The sun was slowly beginning to rise when you woke, only to find Steve was wide awake as well.

"It's early, Stevie." You reasoned, closing your eyes at the feeling of his lips. "Tash and Tone are still sleeping."

"Even yesterday, you were quiet," Steve said, pulling away from your neck. "What's going on up here?" He asked, pressing a kiss to your temples.

"I should really say it when everyone's awake." You murmured. "Tell you all at once."

"Okay, baby doll. I can wait." Steve nodded, pulling you closer. "I really missed having you next to me," Steve told you as you rested your head under his chin.

"I really missed seeing you all." You replied. "I love you all so much, you know that, right?"

"Yeah. And we love you too, baby doll." Steve smiled, tilting your head back and kissing you.

"It's too early for the two of you to be so sweet." Tony groaned. "Haven't had my coffee yet."

"Addict," Natasha mumbled, rolling into your back. "What time is it?"

"A little after eight." You told her. Tony let out a groan as he stood and cracked his back.

"I need coffee." He said, pulling on his boxers. "Might make some breakfast."

"Oh no, you don't," Steve exclaimed, jumping out of bed. "I haven't checked the fire extinguisher is still in date." He added, following behind him.

"Looks like we're on damage control." Natasha smiled as the two of you sat up. Natasha climbed out of bed, pulling on her underwear and Steve's shirt, as you sat up and froze. "Kotenok?" She asked as you threw a hand to your mouth and rushed out of bed.

You'd barely made it to the toilet before the contents of your stomach vacated your body.

A gentle hand pulled the hair away from your face and neck as the other rubbed circles on your back.

"That's it, let it out." Natasha cooed as Steve and Tony entered the bathroom.

"JARVIS said someone was sick," Steve said, taking a seat on the bathtub.

"How long have you been sick, babe?" Tony asked after you finished throwing up.

"I'm not sick." You mumbled, standing up. Shuffling over to the cabinet, you pulled out a wrapped box before pulling on a bathrobe. "I need to brush my teeth. Don't open it yet." You said, handing the package to Steve.

"The suspense is killing me, Y/N," Tony whined as you spit the toothpaste out.

"Alright, I'm done." You managed a smile. "Before you open that, just remember, I love you." You cautioned them.

Natasha and Tony shifted closer to Steve as he opened the box, and you began to feel sick again.

"I only found out a few days ago. I didn't know. I'm not even sure how far along I am." You rambled, playing with your fingers anxiously. "I was waiting to tell you. I was going to sit you all down, but that fell through. I was going to, I was going-" You began to stutter as your eyes started to water.

"It's okay, kotenok. Breathe. We're not mad." Natasha said as she wrapped her arms around you.

"No-ones mad at you, Y/N." Tony agreed. "You have to calm down, you can't stress out little Anthony."

"Tony, we're not naming them after you." Steve rolled his eyes as he pulled you and Natasha into his arms.

"It'd be weird to name our daughter Tony after all,” Natasha smirked.

"What you call her then?" Tony asked her.

"How do you know it's a girl? Or a boy?" Steve asked them. "What if it's twins?"

"Then we have a Tony and Natasha." Tony nodded.

"Hang on." You said, finally breaking out of your stupor. "You're discussing names? You're not angry?"

"Of course not. This is fantastic, baby doll." Steve smiled, pulling you closer.

"We're going to have a baby," Tony said as he joined the group hug. "I can get him a little suit."

"Could be a girl." Natasha reminded him.

"And you are not making our child a suit." Steve reprimanded him.

"I meant an actual tux. Calm down." Tony said, raising his hands.

"Anyway, kotenok, we're not mad. We're excited, we want to have a family." Natasha said, turning back to you and taking your face in her hands.

"I'm really scared." You admitted, relaxing in her grip.

“We are going to be here every step of the way.” Natasha promised you.

“We’re going to make sure you only see the best doctors. Nothing is going to happen to you or the baby.” Tony assured you, taking one of your hands and squeezing it tightly.

“We’re going to have this baby, Y/N. If you want this, we want it to.” Steve said.

“I really want this.” You admitted, starting to cry. “I really do. I want a family with you three.” You smiled, reaching up to wipe the tears away.

“Yeah?” Tony asked.

“Yeah.” You confirmed before letting out a squeal as Steve picked you up and spun you around. “Steven!” You gasped, gripping him tightly.

“We’re going to be a family.” Steve smiled as he put you down. Once more you were in the middle of a tight group embrace.

“I love you. I love you all so much.” You smiled, resting your head on Natasha’s shoulder.

“Love you too, kotenok.”

“I love you, baby doll.”

“Love you, Y/N. Love you and our baby.”

Taglist

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rpmemesbyarat · 4 years ago

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As someone in the Marvel RPC, I see a lot of “my character was kidnapped/created in a lab and turned into the perfect weapon” or “my character was captured by scientists because she was an alien/supernatural creature/etc and they wanted to study her” and inevitably, both involve a lot of gratutitous torture. The key word being “gratuitous”. Either due to wanting drama or being misinformed by popular media depictions of such things (Bucky Barnes, Laura Kinney, etc) the general assumption of fandom seems to be that scientists are basically sadists and that “experiments” are little more than exercises in how to cause their character the most pain possible. The thing is though, a lot of the reasoning for all this is. . . bad. And while canon ---be it Marvel or something else-- may do that, I would also like to discuss more realistic options and point out a few general mistaken assumptions or things people don’t tend to think of. - If a bunch of scientists are trying to create an augmented supersoldier, “perfect life form”, or whatever, that’s not an experiment, that’s a PROJECT. There is a big difference between the two. - Who/what is your character being created or augmented to fight? No one is gonna spend the time/money/effort to make a supersoldier just to have one around for fun. The enemy they are supposed to face or job they are supposed to do is going to influence EVERYTHING about the abilities they’re given and how they are “designed” not to mention how much independent thinking it’s practical to give them. For instance, for some jobs, being able to think and make decisions on their own will be a must, and that’s a risk. For others, there’s really no need to leave their free will intact if you can avoid it. Someone being “built” for espionage will be much different than someone being designed as a living tank. Likewise if someone is going to be sent into a desert environment versus expected to go for long periods underwater, and so on. Knowing what they’re designed to be going up against is CRUCIAL. - Why are living weapons the best option to fight this thing? Because generally speaking, there can be a lot more disadvantages to those than to guns and guided missiles and androids and shit. What about this enemy required a lving sentient supersoldier instead? - If a specimen is rare or valuable, it’s unlikely that it’s going to be dissected or otherwise treated in a way that will deliberately damage it. Your characters might FEAR that if they’re found the men in white coats might “cut them up” but this is actually unlikely. If scientists are trying to learn about something and it’s not a thing they can easily replace, they’re going to try to do so WITHOUT destroying or damaging it. The reason that real-life lab animals are treated so callously is because there’s lots of them, and we already know a lot about how they all work. When a scientist dissects a lab mouse, they’re not losing anything when it dies. If the first alien on Earth dies, or some super-soldier they worked really hard to create dies, they’re losing either a lot of potential information that can’t be gained anywhere else, or something they worked really hard to create and won’t be able to do again without a lot of time or effort. They are going to want to avoid that, and in this age of ultrasounds, X-Rays, and other non-invasive technology, that’s very easily done, especially in a setting where they probably have higher level tech than the real world if they’re creating super-soldiers and such in the first place. And they definitely have NO REASON to want to cut a specimen up ALIVE. - If their goal is to study a person or creature, such as the aforementioned alien, or a mermaid, or whatever else, they actually will probably want to avoid causing it stress. Stress causes behavioral changes as well as physiological ones, and if this is a never-before-seen or rarely-examined species/person, scientists will want to examine them in their default state first. Once they’ve learned everything they can about them in their “normal” state, then, yes, they may begin to deliberately induce stress to study what changes. However, they’re still likely to try to avoid damaging the specimen or inducing ill-health in it (which prolonged and/or serious stress can do) Again, the reason that regular lab animals get treated like their lives don’t matter is because THEY DON’T. Lab mice, dogs, etc., are just models for which to study humans most of the time and have well-documented behavior and physiology, they’re not rare or unknown creatures. So the approach is completely different. A literal or figurative unicorn would not be treated like that. - Likewise, if this specimen is something that was created (or augmented from an existing animal/person) it’s unlikely that the scientists are going to torture them, either for fun or through painful “tests”. Again, they don’t want to damage their hard work, either through physically wrecking them or through reducing them to a useless traumatized heap. It doesn’t matter if the scientists are mean cruel people without a bit of kindness or empathy, it’s impractical. If this being was created for a purpose, fucking it up (or turning it against you) defeats that purpose. And whoever is funding them isn’t going to be happy about that. And if whoever is funding them is the one who wanted to torture this creature/person. . . why do they need it to be specially modified or whatever? That really doesn’t make much sense, especially considering it’s virtually guaranteeing that this thing you have GIVEN SUPER POWERS TO is going to want to murder you. - Sure, it’s possible that one person on the staff might just personally be a sadistic bully or have a grudge against the character/creation even when none of the others do, like Kimura with Laura Kinney, but in all likelihood they’d be found out and fired. “But they take pains to hide it and erase security footage and--” Okay, if you really really want that, you can find a way to do it. Just know it’s not at all going to be acceptable procedure even in the most illegal of operations, not because it’s morally wrong but because it fucks with the product. And I would also ask yourself---if your character is already a lab rat, do they need to be tortured as well? Why? What does that add? Does it not feel “traumatic” or “dark” enough that they, a presumably sentient being, is already owned and imprisoned and kept from anything approaching a normal life? Why is that not “bad enough” to you that their story needs over-the-top torture as well? I’m not saying you can’t do it. I’m saying to think about why you’re doing it. Because a lot of times, in my experience, it basically comes down to cheap angst and sympathy points, often at the expense of, as discussed, logic. - “But they want to make them loyal out of fear!” Okay. That works only up until they get an opportunity to escape. Because if they’re afraid, they’ll take that chance. It’s true they might be too afraid to even try---that’s the case for many abuse victims---but I’m not sure that an organization wants to gamble that will be the case and risk losing their valuable asset the moment send asset is put in the field. And, again, risk the damage to them. This one is doable, you just have to be logical about it and think from the perspective of the people running things, not from the perspective of “what’s the most dramatic?” - “But it’s to brainwash them!” Brainwashing does not mean constant egregious torture that just somehow magically produces sudden loyalty one day. I know that tons of movies and comics have showed you this, but torture does NOT brainwash people. It actually makes people MORE resistant and hateful towards the people and group doing it. People under torture may confess to anything to make it stop, but that’s a short-term compliance and far from actually altering their minds in any way. It most certainly does not render them into obedient loyal sheep; typically the reverse, in fact. If you want to read more about this misconception and what the reality is, I’d check out these posts HERE and HERE and HERE which go much more in-depth and cite real-life sources. If you would like to read more about actual brainwashing, HERE and HERE . - “The torture is necessary for their training!” Again, this works to a point, but most people take it absurdly far in their depictions. Training is to build a person up; if it grievously injures or mentally traumatizes them, that’s counter-productive, as it decreases their usefulness. Being pointlessly cruel to your “living weapon” is just counter-productive. Training can certainly still be intense, and even un-ethically or dangerously so, but if it crosses into just coming up with ridiculously over-the-top ways to make the character suffer, it’s too OTT and clearly for angst-fuel, and most readers will probably roll their eyes because it’s just ridiculous after a certain point. Here are some good articles from SPRINGHOLE.NET relevant to this topic: Things To Know If Your Character Will Be Augmented Or Experimented Upon Things About Training & Teaching Writers Need To Know Tips For Writing Dark Stories, Settings, & Characters Pointlessly Edgy Tropes To Reconsider Using Basic Tips To Create Better Characters With Tragic & Traumatic Backstories Note that this is not to say that your lab rat character cannot have been mistreated, abused, or otherwise traumatized by their situation. Indeed, it would be unrealistic if they were NOT, since treating a sentient being as a tool under the control of others and having them commit violence, even if they do so “willingly” because they don’t know any better, is an inherently traumatic thing. But because it’s inherently traumatic, the unrealistic torture porn is just that much more unnecessary and frankly kind of silly. It’s also lazy, and the ways that many writers go about make no actual sense, as has been discussed. Going back to examples from Marvel, a favorite little-known X-Men character of mine is Darkstar, aka Laynia Petrovna. Laynia and her twin brother Nicolai were mutants born in the USSR. They were taken away by the state at birth, and raised by government scientist Professor Phobos in a “school” (read: facility) for super-soldiers. They were trained in combat and taught to be loyal to the USSR above all else. They were also told that their parents had abandoned them (when in fact their mother died in childbirth, and their father was told they had died too) and were NOT told that they were siblings, instead being given different surnames so that their familial loyalty would not supersede their loyalty to the Soviet Union. It wasn’t until they were adults and discovered their bio-father during a mission that they ever found out they were related. Yet, despite this, and despite occasionally joining superhero teams in the USA (Champions) or aiding the X-Men (X-Corps), Laynia has remained loyal to her country first, though she has often turned her back on its government (though she has returned to serving it now that the USSR is no more) What I really like about Laynia’s backstory is how different it is from most “I was raised as a weapon” stories in that it lacks overt abuse or trauma. She seems to have been treated just fine, she was never tortured, there was never shown to be any needlessly brutal training or treatment of her and the others, etc. She was raised to be a loyal servant to the state, and she was treated in a way that would actually facilitate that, and IT WORKED. So many scientists/trainers/etc in fiction seem to think it’s a great idea to treat your living weapon in ridiculously over-the-top violent, abusive ways for no real reason (except, of course, THE DRAMAZ) and will often be portrayed as insanely sadistic towards their pet projects…even though that’s obviously the LAST thing you would want to do with a valuable asset that you wanted to be loyal to you and have no desire to escape or turn sides. And as I said, it WORKS with Laynia. One of her biggest and most constant struggles FROM THE START is her loyalty to her country, versus her own conscience when she’s asked to do things she finds questionable. She also finds out again and again that she’s been lied to or manipulated by the people in charge of her, and sometimes she’ll defect, but she always ends up back again. And while she’s angry at the things that government asks her to do to others, or has done to others, she never really questions what was done to her. We never see her actually being like “holy shit, I was kidnapped and brainwashed and exploited and I’m really fucking angry about this!” like so many characters in similar situations realize (and often very quickly despite supposed brainwashing; even when still “loyal” they’re usually portrayed as hating their captors) And you know why? Because, again, what was done to her WORKED. Like she has a MOMENT in the issue where she finds out her real history and vows she won’t blindly follow a government ever again, but…she still sticks with the USSR, then Russian, government. She may not be “blindly” following, but she doesn’t seem ever able to leave them for long either. And her brother Nicolai/Vanguard strays even less than she does. And the writers never focus much on this. There’s never been a story that focuses on Laynia’s mindset or giving her a journey that helps her grow in any way or even just examines all this. Partly I think that’s because she’s so minor and has never had a story IN GENERAL that focuses on her. Partly I think it’s because writers just aren’t INTERESTED in a story like hers UNLESS it involves all the dramatic grimdark “tortured test subject” cliches, and they assume readers aren’t either. But I think this does a disservice to readers. One of my pet peeves, perhaps my MAJOR and BIGGEST one, about abuse in fiction is that it is ALWAYS portrayed as BLATANT and EXTREME, committed by people who are OBVIOUSLY monsters and who act like said monsters 24/7. They might get a shallow charming veneer to fool people, but the victim and audience both know that under that they’re un-nuanced, two-dimensional demons. And some abusers are like that. Some abuse is super extreme. But lots of abusers are much more nuanced, and lots of abuse is far for subtle. If only the most extreme types of abuse and abuser are portrayed, that’s all people learn to recognize “real abuse” as being. And real-life victims of abuse already have enough problems feeling that they weren’t “really abused” or “abused enough” to qualify. So I think stories like Laynia’s are important, and they’re worth exploring. They don’t treat abuse as torture porn, something to lingeringly emphasize to the audience in every gory detail for sheer shock value even when it makes NO SENSE for what the abuser is trying to accomplish. Instead, her story makes sense for what the government and its scientists employees were trying to do, and it has an accordingly realistic effect on her that manifests in a far less subtle but no less meaningful way than dramatic “media portrayals of PTSD” cliches. And it’s a story I’d be interested in seeing more of and finally unpacking fully, if any writer ever steps up to the plate ready to treat it with the sensitivity it deserves. Not every story of this sort needs to be like Laynia’s. But not every story of this type needs to be like Logan’s either. Figure out what works best for your character, question why you want it and what purpose it serves, and just make it make sense.

#rp advice #writeblr #OC tips #writing tips #writing tip #backstory tips

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notesfromtheheart · 4 years ago

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After a catastrophic event, your characters have to live in a new reality. What they must face depends on the world you create. There are a few things to consider when you plan your post-apocalyptic world if you want to use it as another source of conflict.

#Step 1: Pick an apocalypse

There are many types of apocalyptic events that can cause chaos and conflict for your survivors. You don’t always need to explain what happened because a post-apocalypse is about the effects rather than the event. However, the one you choose will have a direct impact on the landscape and your characters’ chances of survival. Here’s a quick rundown of some of the most popular ones.

Zombie

The threat in these stories is ongoing and relentless. The zombie plague spreads across the globe like a virus. Destruction is rapid and danger is everywhere. Survivors often stick together, hoping there is safety in numbers.

Nuclear

Because the landscape is so blighted and devoid of life, stories like these are about the characters’ internal struggles with issues such as loneliness, sanity and hope.

Technological uprising

Humanity is seen as a virus and something to be eradicated. These kinds of stories often focus on attempts to take back the world from a threat that is stronger, smarter, and more ruthless than the human survivors.

Alien invasion

Aliens take over our world and we can’t stop them from wiping out most of humanity. The remaining survivors usually work together to defeat the invaders. Spend time developing your aliens or they won’t seem like a credible threat.

Pandemic

This is similar to a zombie apocalypse except the threat is invisible and this causes a sense of paranoia. You don’t know who is infected until it’s too late. There is usually a race to find a cure from a ragtag group of survivors.

Climate change

This is a slow burn type of apocalypse. All the warning signs were there, but we ignored them. The survivors feel a sense of hopelessness because once it happens, there’s no turning back.

Breakdown in technology

This shows what happens when the technology we rely on so heavily stops working. Some writers use this as a foreshadowing that something even worse is on its way.

*There are other kinds of apocalypse such as natural disasters and comets, but they often focus on the actual event rather than what happens afterwards.

#Step 2: Create your world

Unlike many other kinds of stories, a post-apocalypse world isn’t just a backdrop for your characters, it’s a major source of conflict. This is also the part where you can think about theme because this will influence how your readers feel at the end of the book. Not all stories of this genre have happy endings, but they can teach us a little more about human nature.

Because it’s such a popular genre, you can find it in movies, novels, games, comics, and television shows. I’ve added links to a few of the most interesting and well-known ones.

1. Humans are overthrown

This could be after an alien invasion, robot uprising, or zombie pandemic. Humans have lost their place in the natural order of the world. There is a wide variety of landscapes in stories like these, depending on how recently the catastrophic event took place. They can range from almost total destruction to a clean and beautiful, perfect world. One of the most popular plots in this kind of story is the battle to reclaim what was lost.

Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham

The Last of Us created by Naughty Dog

2. Anarchic landscape

This landscape is usually harsh with a lot of environmental damage and limited resources. Although it isn’t always stated, the assumption is that the world was affected by a nuclear war, catastrophic natural disaster, or dramatic climate change. In this type of post-apocalyptic world, there is no rule of law or a very limited one. The weak are vulnerable and at the mercy of aggressors. This is an excellent opportunity to create a solitary protagonist who has to decide whether to continue alone or link up with other survivors.

The Postman novel by David Brin

Mad Max Fury Road movie directed by George Miller

3. A new “Utopia”

This kind of post-apocalyptic world is divided by those who live in safety and those who are barely surviving. There’s usually some kind of barrier that protects people on the inside from the rest of the world. The insiders’ lifestyle is often at the expense of those that are on the outside. Once your protagonist realizes what’s going on, you can have them attempt to escape or destroy the elites’ world.

Wool novel by Hugh Howey

Snowpiercer graphic novel by Jacques Lob, Jean-Marc Rochette

4. The End of Everything

This landscape is bleak, and resources are almost nonexistent. Your characters are not trying to rebuild because it is hopeless. There are few other survivors and to be honest, it’s probably best to avoid them. Although this kind of world can seem depressing, it’s also an opportunity to write about human nature at its best and worst.

The Road novel by Cormac McCarthy

On the Beach novel by Nevil Shute

5. A Better Tomorrow

The apocalypse is over and the world is at the recovery stage, but it will not be straightforward. Humanity has survived (sometimes barely) and is ready to rebuild a better world. However, the characters will often be under attack from an aggressor who wants things to stay the way they are. This plot is useful when you want to finish a post-apocalyptic series because it’s an acceptable way to tie up loose ends and leave your readers feeling hopeful.

The People of Sparks by Jeanne DuPraub

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel

6. Not over yet

Sometimes the event is still taking place. The main apocalypse happened, but there are still remnants of the initial threat. This could be a virus that hasn’t been completely cured, lurking zombies, killer plants, in fact, anything that needs to be eradicated. This is a good plotline if you want to create a series of books where the threat grows or mutates. And let’s not forget that there is always a threat from other survivors because sometimes it’s people who can be the real monsters.

World War Z by Max Brooks

12 Monkeys TV series created by Terry Matalas and Travis Fickett

7. Weird World

Some kind of catastrophic event destroyed much of the world, leaving only remnants of an ancient civilization. The laws of physics and biology were altered, and this is now a magical and weird world. You can do almost anything with this kind of world, but you should have a thorough understanding of the fantasy genre. The Lord of the Rings is not strictly a post-apocalypse world, but it has a lot of elements that appear in this kind of story.

Swan Song novel by Robert McCammon

Adventure time animated TV series created by Pendleton Ward

Once you’ve picked the cause and the world it left behind, it’s time to plan the details for your post-apocalypse world. The longer-lasting effects will be something your characters have to adapt to, in order to survive. You can force your survivors into life and death situations depending on how harsh you want their environment to be, how limited the resources are, and how much competition there is for them.

#Step 3: Focus on the details

Once you’ve picked your apocalyptic event, you’ll need to start looking at the effects it has on your world and any survivors. This is when you should focus your attention on world-building. Don’t skip any details because they could become plot holes later on.

1. What are the effects on the environment?

Consider how to use the environment to cause conflict for your characters. Do you want your survivors to have their movements restricted by a lingering risk such as zombies or plague? Is your landscape going to have areas that are too toxic to enter? Has wildlife mutated and become a deadly threat?

2. How long after the event is your story set?

If the apocalypse happened recently, your characters will be unprepared and have to adapt quickly to survive. If generations have passed, the survivor’s descendants will know the dangers they have to face, but that doesn’t mean life is any easier.

3. How many survivors are there?

Do you want your characters to have regular or sporadic interactions with other people? If resources are limited, which they are in most stories, any survivors will be competing for them, and this can cause a lot of conflict for your characters.

4. Where do people live?

Do you want your survivors to travel across the landscape in search of refuge, or are they going to live in small communities? Are cities abandoned because they’re too dangerous or have the survivors built new ones? Are their descendants living behind the safety of high walls or even underground?

5. Is there a rule of law?

If the percentage of survivors is small, it’s unlikely there will be any kind of central government and nationwide rule of law. In many apocalypse stories, the army and police are among the first casualties. However, if your survivors have had time to adjust and create a new society, think about what rules they live by and if there is any kind of hierarchy they follow.

#Step 4: Have fun!

Now you can go wild. Throw in as much conflict as you want and force your characters to make some hard decisions. This kind of story is all about survival and growth. Some people will rise to the challenge while others will descend into the mire. It’s all up to you.

Conclusion

This is one of the most popular science fiction genres because of the amount of scope it offers to writers. The story can be one that offers hope for the survival of humanity, or it can be an exploration of the best and worst of human nature. Readers can follow initially weak characters as they grow and develop into people who can survive the harshest of environments.

#science fiction writing community #urban fantasy #writersofinstagram #young adult #zombie #writing advice #paranormal romance #editing services

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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Why Amazon Prime’s Invincible Had to Be Animated

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Invincible comic writer Robert Kirkman has a gentlemanly agreement with Steven Yeun, who appeared in The Walking Dead for six seasons and now stars as the adapted Invincible’s titular hero.

“Steven and I have a rule that there’s no more popping his eyeballs out. I can live with that – once is enough,” Kirkman tells Den of Geek and other outlets during the series’ press day.

Kirkman’s imagination is as violent as it is vast. Yeun’s character Glenn Rhee on AMC’s The Walking Dead (based on the Kirkman comic of the same name) was a notable unfortunate recipient of that bloodlust when he was beaten to death with a barbed wire baseball bat in the show’s seventh season.

Now Yeun is providing his voice to Mark Grayson a.k.a. Invincible – the super-powered high schooler at the center of Amazon Prime’s adaptation of Kirkman’s comic. Steven (and Mark’s) eyeballs are safe for now…but very few other body parts are in this sprawling superhero tale.

Invincible first premiered in a preview as part of Image Comics’ Savage Dragon #102, more than a full year before Kirkman’s black and white zombie blockbuster The Walking Dead debuted. The character graduated to his own regular series in 2003, first illustrated by Cory Walker, and then by the prolific Ryan Ottley. The story of Mark Grayson ran, uninterrupted and with very few side arcs, for 15 years before concluding with issue #144 in 2018.

The appeal of Invincible can be hard to describe. At first glance, it’s a very conventional comic book story. Mark is the son of Nolan Grayson a.k.a. Omni-Man, an alien from the planet Viltrum and now Earth’s most powerful superhero (of which there are many). The series begins with Mark eagerly anticipating the arrival of his own superpowers and then embarking on an adventure of super self discovery, alongside a host of heroic allies and terrifying villains.

What sets Invincible apart, however, is its dedication to realistic storytelling. Mark is a very likeable, yet believably flawed young man.Kirkman’s sprawling 144-issue narrative meticulously follows Mark’s maturation and the ethical questions raised by a universe fit-to-bursting with invulnerable ubermensches.

There’s also the violence…oh the sweet, sweet violence. Ryan Ottley’s art in Invincible has a deep, abiding respect for the physics of super powers. Though the images may be colorful, the action depicted within them are shocking in their brutality. Nary does a bone go uncrunched or an intestine un-ripped out in Kirkman and Ottley’s hyper visceral world.

Naturally, Invincible was always a hot target for adaptation, particularly after AMC hit Kirkman zombie paydirt with The Walking Dead. But how exactly could any TV series fully capture the deliriously gory detail of Ottley’s art? The answer as it turns out is to just go ahead and adapt the art too.

Amazon Prime’s Invincible, the first season of which will be eight episodes, features animation from Wind Sun Sky Entertainment and Kirkman’s own Skybound. Kirkman himself is on board as a producer, alongside David Alpert, Catherine Winder, and Simon Racioppa (who serves as showrunner). The end result is an animation style that hews closely to the comic’s original art and often seems like Ottley’s illustrations in motion.

“The action is a little bit more brutal when things are moving. I think it’s going to serve to heighten things in the series,” Kirkman says.

While heightening the violent rhythms of Invincible seems like a wild proposition, the show’s star agrees that the animation does just that.

“You can go to places that live-action probably isn’t able to go to, even now,” Yeun tells Den of Geek and other outlets. “(Animation) creates a nice separation so that you can examine what the show might be saying without one-to-one comparison. Like that’s an actual arm being ripped off, but it’s a cartoon arm being ripped off. There’s just something different about that.”

Both Yeun and J.K. Simmons, who plays Nolan, note that the show’s kinetic sequences provide interesting voice acting challenges.

“What’s really fun is going back over in ADR and tracing back over these action sequences and these emotional moments. A lot of this show lives in those emotional moments that aren’t necessarily mixed in with dialogue, where a breath or a subtle way of gurgling blood in your mouth and trying to breath is its own kind of emotionality,” Yeun says.

“ADR is usually just ‘make this grunt.’ But because of the intensity of the violence and the stakes and the repercussions, it did feel much more emotionally connected doing the fight sequences,” Simmons adds.

The show’s animation style isn’t all about merely capturing the grunts and gurglings of blood, however. While Mark Grayson’s story begins relatively small, it eventually blossoms into an enormous superhero universe containing countless people, monsters, and worlds. Even in our era of technical sophistication where just about anything seems possible on television, Invincible is a hard sell as live-action.

According to Kirkman, animation was the only way to properly tell this story.

“The main benefit is that we’re going to be able to provide the audience with a scope and scale, more akin to a $200 million blockbuster movie than what you usually get from your average superhero television show,” Kirkman says. “Drawing an army of a thousand people is a little bit easier than hiring a thousand people and putting costumes on them and things like that. If we want to have three different alien invasions in the same episode, we can.”

Invincible Review (Spoiler-Free)

By Bernard Boo

Kirkman knows the limits of live-action television as well as anyone. Though The Walking Dead remains an enormous success for AMC, it has experienced quite a bit of casting turnover throughout the years with only Norman Reedus’s Daryl Dixon and Melissa McBride’s Carol Peletier remaining of the season 1 main cast in the show’s 11 seasons. Requesting that actors endure grueling television shooting schedules in the humid Atlanta summers for an undetermined number of years is a big ask as it turns out.

If depicted in live-action, the commitments of actors’ times and bodies would be even more brutal for the Invincible cast. And the cast of Invincible is set to be huge. The first season alone will star: Yeun as Mark Grayson, Simmons as Nolan Grayson, Sandra Oh as Debbie Grayson, Seth Rogen as Allen the Alien, Gillian Jacobs as Atom Eve, Andrew Rannells as William Clockwell, Zazie Beetz as Amber Bennett, Walton Goggins as Cecil Stedman, Jason Mantzoukas as Rex Splode, Zachary Quinto as Robot, and many, many more. (Check out the full list over here).

And that’s before the story begins to expand with more heroes and villains in later issues/seasons. The relatively smaller time commitments of voiceover acting in animation allows Kirkman and the series writers to keep the cast as large as needed, though Simmons notes that he, Yeun, and Oh all still get to act together in-studio.

Kirkman says the show is able to delve deeper into certain characters than the comics did, with figures like G-man Cecil Stedman and the Rorschach-esque Damian Darkblood getting more screen time.

“These are characters that I should know intimately, but getting to work with these actors and getting to hear these voices and how these performances come together, it’s like I’m meeting these characters again for the first time and the absolute best way,” Kirkman says. “I’m seeing new aspects to them that didn’t really exist before. It’s really making me more excited about moving forward with this show for many seasons with this cast.”

Yes, Kirkman and the rest of the Invincible cast already have “many seasons” in mind for the show. Whether those seasons will come to pass are up to Amazon and its subscribers. But it seems clear that animation was the right choice for the story’s scope was television was the right choice for its length.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

The first three episodes of Invincible will premiere Friday, March 26 on Amazon Prime.

The post Why Amazon Prime’s Invincible Had to Be Animated appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3lItwd9

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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honestandsincere · 6 years ago

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Ok so imagine college!ethan being extremely successful when it comes to getting girls. He’s super high up in frat hierarchy and is always the centre of attention at parties, so much so that he’s essentially infamous on campus. But Ethan feels as though he always has to play dumb whilst talking to girls, afraid he’ll scare them off with his intelligence and his fierce passion for literature / philosophy / sci-fi movies that go beyond the stereotypical alien invasion plot line. So whilst he’s basking in the spotlight on a Friday night, fireball coursing through his veins, he keeps conversation to a minimum. He slings an arm around one of the girls that constantly gravitates towards him whenever he’s somewhat intoxicated and pretends it doesn’t bother him that she’s fixated on the curve of his jaw and not his plethora of theories about War and Peace.

This all changes when he walks into his philosophy lecture on a gloomy Tuesday afternoon to find a girl sat in his regular aisle seat. She has a laptop covered in stickers set out in front of her along with copious colour-coded notes and an adorable selection of pastel gel pens. Not wanting to disrupt her impressive feng shui, Ethan takes the seat across the aisle from her and studies her, unable to figure out how he’s never noticed her, before taking out his supplies. He’s become accustomed to looking at pretty people, he’s surrounded by them almost every waking minute, but Ethan can’t quite comprehend this girl’s beauty. She seems to transcend all he’s ever known when it comes to attractiveness and he couldn’t tell you exactly what it is about her that has him so transfixed, having only acknowledged her side-profile for mere seconds. Her hair is pinned away from her face so he examines the soft curve of her nose and the way her lips pout ever so subtly as she begins writing what he can only assume is the date in her notebook.

The lecture begins and Ethan feels himself drift into the familiarity of note-taking and highlighting and taking pictures of the presentation the academic has prepared for them. He enjoys learning, just absorbing information that challenges him to think and analyze and critique. His peace is disturbed by the sound of shuffling coming from his right, so he naturally turns to connect the noise to its maker. She’s waving her hand in the air innocently, gazing patiently towards their lecturer and Ethan’s brow can’t help but furrow. This is college, nobody raises their hands. But she has something to say, something valid and blatantly well-considered as she draws a connection between hard determinism and the work of some lawyer that saved his clients from capital punishment. Ethan can’t quite believe it. She’s not being a smartass or a goody-two-shoes, just sharing some genuinely constructive information that he finds himself writing down underneath his most recent bulletpoint. This girl he’d never encountered before with an extensive stationery collection and adorable little star shaped earrings seems to be a gift from the gods.

Ethan doesn’t muster up enough courage to talk to her for another three weeks, silently watching with sheer admiration as she takes his preferred aisle seat each lecture. Yet fate seems to work in mysterious ways, as one night as he’s unforgivably inebriated at one of the fraternities closest to his, he sees her. She’s wearing her cute star earrings, holding a red cup and gesticulating frantically with her free hand as she engages with one of Ethan’s frat brothers. A surge of what can only be deemed intense bravery washes over Ethan, he’s leaning on one of his friends watching her intently and then he isn’t. He can feel himself weaving through clusters of students until he reaches the window seat she’s perched on and in a desperate struggle to appear sober, he wraps his arm around Josh’s middle. Her face lights up at the sight of him, instantly recognising him as the boy that sat opposite her in philosophy. “Hi,” she smiles, giving him the tiniest of waves despite his close proximity. Ethan grins at her and returns the wave with a slightly slurred greeting. Josh, being acutely aware of Ethan as a human being, takes this as a sign to leave and makes his way towards a group of senior girls.

“I can’t believe I haven’t introduced myself to you yet!” She laughs and Ethan swears his heart hasn’t ever beat faster. “I know,” he holds out his hand, “I’m Ethan.” She takes it in her own and gives it a firm shake, “Y/n.”

The two spend the night sat on the window seat; Ethan conjuring enough confidence to tell her that her comment on Clarence Darrow helped him tremendously and y/n blushing furiously at his steady stream of praise for her. For the first time in years Ethan Dolan feels like he can talk without fear of judgement or lack of understanding. Y/n’s eyes widen with each sentence he strings together, utterly astounded by this beautiful boy’s intelligence and wit. She listens with the deepest admiration as he lists his War and Peace theories, far too enraptured in him to question or ask for elaboration. Topic shifts naturally to sci-fi movies and as Ethan is on the very cusp of asking her which is her favourite, she delves into a perceptive analysis of a fairly recent one she’s watched. “It’s just this perfect combination of classic sci-fi and this crazy philosophical questioning of humanity. I just sat there in awe, Ethan.” “Tell me about it.” He rasps, turning into her slightly. “So Amy Adams is the lead and she’s brilliant, completely brilliant. Basically she’s a linguist-” “Wait, is this Arrival?” “Oh my god! You’ve seen it?” She’s never felt so much excitement in one night. “Of course I have! I took Josh to go watch it with me, it all went over his head but I loved every second.”

From that point onwards, y/n didn’t sit in the aisle seat. She sat one seat in from Ethan who was more than happy to return to his rightful spot in the lecture hall. They shared notes, made jokes under their breath about spelling mistakes on the PowerPoint and cried with laughter at someone behind them’s weird sneeze. Philosophy was never boring, it just seemed to get progressively less tedious when they were together. It took Ethan maybe a month or so to ask her out properly. He’d stumbled over his invitation with nerves and fear of being rejected by the first girl he genuinely liked. Of course she said yes, there was no reason for her not to. Y/n was all Ethan Dolan had wanted and he was more than she could have ever asked for in a study partner. College was a rollercoater of intoxicated highs and sobering lows, but as long as each of his essay titles were underlined in pastel gel pen, Ethan Dolan was ridiculously content.

This is my first ever piece of writing posted here! I really do hope you enjoyed it, thank you so much for reading - K <3

#ethan dolan #ethan dolan one shot #ethan dolan blurb #ethan dolan imagine #ethan dolan fanfic #grayson dolan #ethan x reader #dolan twins imagine #dolan twins

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myupostsheadcanons · 5 years ago

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Books “Read” in 2019

I am going to rank these by how much i enjoyed them vs. any actual literary quality. often well written books aren’t always the most entertaining books.

Note: i listen to many of these books at work, which is why i am able to go through so many of them in a year.

List from 2017 List from 2018

------- My Favs of the Year ----

Novels from The First Law:

Best Served Cold (#1), The Heroes(#3), Red Country(#4), Sharp Ends(#5).

A Little Hatred (#2) (Age of Madness, sequel to The First Law)

I read “The First Law Trilogy” about a year or two ago and finally got around to reading the rest of the books, just in time for a new series taking place in the same world to start up (Age of Madness) and now i am waiting like everybody else for the next two books to come out in 2020 and 2021. A Little Hatred shouldn’t be read as a stand alone, a lot of what goes on is dependent mainly on knowledge from the first trilogy and in The Heroes, then bits and pieces from Best Served Cold and Red Country. So much of your enjoyment of each book is based on what you’ve learned in other ones (character development or seemingly useless information being not so useless later).

Age of Legend (Book 4, Legend of the First Empire)

This is more-or-less an “aftermath” book where the main characters are still reeling about what happened in the previous book and are trying to make plans for what they are going to do next. I still like the characters and the world/setting it takes place in.

House of Assassins (Saga of the Forgotten Warrior, Book 2)

I’ve been waiting for the next book in this series to come out the second i finished the first book in the series. It is one of those Science fiction in the disguise of Fantasy settings and I am on the edge of my seat waiting to see how that plot/revelation comes out (I am certain that the location the story takes place is Earth, more specifically around Asia/India, but in a post-invasion apocalypse setting where nobody remembers anything prior to the invasion). I also really like how much of a badass Ashok is... i have a thing for emotionally stunted badass characters, especially when their flaws are held up to a mirror and have real consequences.

R. R. Haywood’s Worldship Humility & Extinct (Extracted, Book 3)

I love the way Haywood writes characters and dialog. I was at-first iffy about WSH, but was won over after i warmed up to the new characters.

Shades of Magic Trilogy (A Darker Shade of Magic, A Gathering of Shadows, A Conjuring of Shadows)

Solid multi-verse and magic system world. Well-written characters, some minor nitpicks on plot points, but can be easily ignored. LGBTQ rep, the gays don’t stay buried.

“Don’t you have enough [knives]?” “You can never have too many.” [me, every time: LOL]

One of the few times when a character deserves a redemption arc, doesn’t really get one, dies, and i am perfectly fine with it because it is done well.

Assassin’s Fate (Fitz and the Fool, Book 3)

I read this one in book-book form, but i already knew most of the emotionally painful parts of the book by spoiling it to myself when it first came out a couple years ago. The main appeal is the inner monologues of the two main characters, even if like 50% of this trilogy is basically spending weeks/months trying to go from Point A to Point B, when many other books would have glossed over the details of travel.. but you can really feel the stress as they dwell in their thoughts and struggles.

Madeline Miller’s The Song of Achilles & Circe

Re-Imagining of the Iliad and The Odyssey. Focusing not on the characters of Achilles or Odysseus, but on Petroclus (Achilles’ lover) and Circe the sea nymph witch that Odysseus had an affair and child with.

The Spear of the Stars (Cycle of Galand, Book 5)

Still love Dante and Bleys... This is where they really get into the meat of world building and solving the mysteries of the Arawn Cycle (the book/bible) and peel back the layers of their reality.

Dust (Silo Book 3)

A great ending to a good series, it answers whether or not humanity can or has survived what had caused them to be locked away in the silos.

Blackthorn and Grim (Dreamer’s Pool, Tower of Thorns, Den of Wolves)

I like the premise of the books, the two main characters first seeking out revenge, but end up wanting to become better people due to magic shenanigans.... One part Fantasy, One Part Mystery, One Part Lovestory.

The Dispatcher (Audible Free Book)

I want a whole series based off this novella. It is John Scalzi so he can write a good story. I had previously read Android’s Dream by him, which it didn’t make it into my top-10 that year, but was still decent, even if the subject matter was a bit gross... The Dispatcher world is a Sci-Fi Noir, not quite Cyberpunk, where people don’t die by anything other than natural causes. The Dispatcher’s job is to kill people before something goes does wrong and the person “resets” to when they where safe and sound.

---- this is the “Above Average” Zone ----

All the Pretty Horses & Blood Meridian: Or the Evening Redness in the West

The master of bleak and depressing fiction. if regular Dark Fiction isn’t enough for you.... there is Cormac McCarthy books. Get use to the “purple prose” that fills up pages with no dialog.

The Golem and the Jinni

Supernatural world of the far past dealing with Edwardian New York and Immigration. It not only is a “fish out of water” story of the two main characters trying to fit in with society but they are among communities that are also new to America and trying to find their own place in the world. There are love subplots but most of those kind of fizzle out.

The Axe and the Throne: Bounds of Redemption Vol. 1.

“Discount First Law” book... it is lacking the dark humor that made TFL series far more entertaining. This was also the book that was prefaced by warning people about how grim and dark the setting was... Hahahaha. I still found it entertaining none the less, and hope the rest would show up on audible soon.

Black Snow, White Crow (Audible Free Book)

Another one of those short stories that should have a larger saga to its name. Fantasy Industrial Punk. It has the whole equality role reversal thing going on, it isn’t done quite as well as Left Hand of Darkness (but that book leaned onto the boring side of things).

Stephen King’s IT, Pet Semetary, and Carrie

It’s Stephen King. Classic King. Not much else to say.

Watership Down

Depressing Rabbit Book. Though I did like all the stories and mythology the rabbits had.

Bloody Acquisitions (Fred the Vampire Accountant, Book 3)

A series that is always fun to listen to. I wish the audio books were cheaper because they are rather short.

Lethal White (Cormoran Strike, Book 4)

shuddup, i don’t care if it is Rowling... i have a low-key crush on Cormoran.... he just hits that big-burly tragic-backstory man-shaped soft-spot of mine. These stories are also her “for adults” writings so... expect more racism and garbage values.

The Eye of the World (Book 1, Wheel of Time)

Classic set up to a long running series, though i am reluctant to go further as the middling books in this series are said to drag out the story too much.... It’s not as self-centered as Wizard’s First Rule and the characters are more relatable and stick to their fantasy tropes. This is the “mold” that other modern fantasy try to subvert by going “darker and edgier.”

The Exorcist

If you like the movie, read the book. There is a lot of back story that the movie wasn’t able to adapt.

---- This is the “AVERAGE, but Still Good” Zone ---

The Iliad and The Odyssey

Classics. I am still on the hunt for an unabridged version of Jason and the Argonauts story. I also have Virgil’s Aeneid in my wishlist to get too soon.

Phillipa Gregory’s Plantagonate Novels (The Lady of the Rivers, The Red Queen, White Queen, The Kingmaker’s Daughter)

Sometimes it is like reading the same book 5x in a row. other times you end up not liking the previous protagonist in a book you just finished reading because of how the current protagonist sees them from their POV.

Return of the King (Lord of the Rings, Book 3)

Read the other books last year and didn’t get around to this one for a few months.

Something Wicked This Way Comes

Fuck... I’m a janitor... why can’t i afford a house? If you liked Stephen King’s “IT” go back and read this book.

Alien Franchise Dramatizations: Alien: Sea of Sorrows, Alien: The Cold Forge (Audible Free Book) Alien III (Audible Free Book)

I don’t mind that they all are done with a full cast. Though often I end up wanting to find the actual book and listen to them with just one narrator and descriptions.

The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe (Narnia, Book 1)

I would like to get the rest of the books in this series, but for books that are only 5-7 hours long they want 20$ a book for them. It needs to go into an omnibus.

Stephen Fry’s Victorian Secrets (Audible Free Book)

It’s Stephen Fry... he’s funny and a good narrator.

Wizard’s First Rule (Book 1, Sword of Truth)

I don’t like Richard. He started off alright, but even before he got tortured 2/3rds into the book, i was starting to dislike his personality. Other than that, the side characters and world are solid, but it was like taking an R-rated movie and cutting it down for TV. There is somethings that are vaguely described when i am use to harder fiction like ASoIaF, The First Law, Dresden, and McCarthy books actually describing those things.

Halloween (2018, movie novel)

Like I said when i first read the book, it would’ve benefited by a second re-write before being published. But, i like the movie and so I liked the book.

Don Quixote

Another classic read. I did find it hilarious that the Author spent a good chunk of the second book complaining about Fanfiction of his own book... in the 1600′s.

The Princess Diarist

I listened this book instead of going to see TROS. worth it.

Smoke Gets in Your eyes: And other Lessons from the Crematorium

Non-Fiction, If you want to know the ins and outs of the funeral business and get told in an informative yet non-clinical way with lots of tidbits and history facts tossed in as well as a semi-autobiographical account of the Author’s life.

--- These Books are “Alright” ---

Frank L. Baum’s Wizard of Oz books

I ligit got into an argument with a 70yo man in a comic book shop about how Canon the other Oz books were post Baum’s death. He was looking for Oz comic books and I brought up reading the first 14 books, and he’s like “There’s over 100 of them” and i was all “but all those are written by somebody else.” and he got all “they are still canon...”

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

If you want to know about the In//cel ideology in a classic literary form, this fits the bill. So much man pain.

A Christmas Carol (Tim Curry) (Audible Free Book)

Tim Curry, guys.....

The Poetic Edda (Norse God Mythology)

I listened this book twice. I bought two Edda books thinking I’d get some extra content, but no... same book just different production teams and readers. Returned the one with the worst translation.

Treasure Island (Audible Free Book, dramatization)

I need to read the actual book sometime, but i did like the cast and thought they did a good job.

Wally Roux, Quantum Mechanic (Audible Free Book)

A YA coming of age story about diversity and acceptance... with wacky science fiction.

Carmilla (Audible Free Book, dramatization)

The vampire before Dracula. Victorian Lesbian love story.

Even Tree Nymphs get the Blues (Audible Free Book)

A novella from one of those “love on the Bayou” romance series with supernatural creatures. Could practically take place in the same world of either True Blood, Dresden, or Fred the Vampire Accountant.

Mystwick School of Musicraft (Audible Free Book)

Harry Potter lite. For 10yo girls.

A Grown-up’s Guide to Dinosaurs (Audible Free Book)

I like dinosaurs.

Rivals! Frenemies Who Changed the World (Audible Free Book, Dramatization)

Interesting way on telling us about the Fossil Wars and Puma vs. Adidas.

True-Crime from Audible: Body of Proof (Audible Free Book), Midnight Son (Audible Free Book), The Demon Next Door (Audible Free Book), Killer By Nature (Audible Free Book)

Why is True-Crime or YA fiction the only halfway-decent things Audible is giving us? But yeah, these are basically the type of reporting that the two journalists from Halloween were trying to do. Where they go around and gather up information about semi-famous cases and present it in a Podcast-like format.

---- Meh... ---

Camp Red Moon (Audible Free Book)

Would’ve been better if they were actually written by R. L. Stein.

More Bedtime Stories for Cynics (Audible Free Book)

No... half of these aren’t written very well.

The Darkwater Bride (Audible Free Book, Dramatization)

The setting is nice, but it is far too .... Soap Opera Dramatic.

Junk (Audible Free Book)

A cross between Alien Invasion and Zombie outbreak, read by John Waters and written as if it was a bad version of a Philip K. Dick Novel.

Rip Off!! (Audible Free Book)

Most of them are duds and boring. I don’t even remember half of them without having to look them up. The two that stood out the most for me where the “Other Darren/Bewitched” and the “Dark and Stormy Night” stories, the rest were rather garbled.

--- Garbage... ---

Dodge and Twist (Audible Free Book, Dramatization)

No, you are not being edgy or kool.

Unread:

Siege Tactics (Spells, Swords, & Stealth. Book 4)

Triumphant (Genesis Fleet, Book 3)

Earthsea (Tehanu and Tales from Earthsea, i am going to re-listen to the first three before i get to these)

Into the Wilds (Warriors, Book 1)

Pout Neuf (Audible Free Book)

House of Teeth (Audible Free Book)

Viva Durant and the Secret of the Silver Buttons (Audible Free Book)

The Other Boleyn Girl (Phillipa Gregory)

#the first law #legend of the first empire #saga of the forgotten warrior #realm of the elderlings #a darker shade of magic #the song of achilles #john scalzi #r. r. haywood #Cycle of Galand #blackthorn and grim #myu reads #long post

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duhragonball · 6 years ago

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Dragon Ball Z 167

There’s about nine or ten days left before the Cell Games. Dr. Brief is busy working on fixing Android 16. He has specs from Dr. Gero’s lab, but they’re for android 17, and 16 has a completely different design, because 16 is truly an android, and not a cyborg like 17. Meanwhile, 16 plays with Dr. Brief’s cat. I’m not sure if it’s safe for the kitty to lick so close to 16′s open wound, but I’m not a robot or a robot doctor or a cat, so what do I know?

Bulma’s mom serves up cake. Eat, drink, and be merry, I guess.

Oolong and Roshi start stuffing their gross fingers into the cakes to claim them, and it’s pretty friggin’ gross. Seriously, I’ve seen Frieza cut in half, but this scene is what really bothers me. Those two can’t even eat that much cake anyway, so it’s just disgusting. Chi-Chi is right to want to keep Gohan away from them.

The others all chill out and watch TV. This looks like a pretty cozy scene.

I really want to know what the deal is with this show.

Vegeta can’t sit on the floor like everyone else because he’s the PRINSUVOLLSAYINS or whatever.

Yamcha gets restless and decides to go outside to train for Cell. Krillin offers to join him, and then Vegeta gives them shit for being no match for Cell. Yamcha reminds Vegeta that he’s no match for Cell either, so maybe he ought to keep his mouth shut. Yamcha’s like “Yeah, welcome to our world.” And Krillin starts chanting “One of us, one of us.”

Then Bulma arrives, having returned from Kami’s Lookout, and she’s all anxious to see how Future Trunks is doing, to the point where she crashes into these guys.

This whole part right here just bugs me. I don’t like how Vegeta gets lumped into a comedy gag like this. Why wouldn’t he just move out of the way? Or simply murder Bulma before she could get near? That’s kind of his bit, isn’t it? Also, I don’t really see Bulma being this kind of character. Chi-Chi, sure, but not Bulma. It just feels off.

She calms down once she knows Future Trunks is okay, and then Baby Trunks grabs onto his hair. Everyone laughts. Well, not Vegeta.

Never mind that shit! Here comes Cell!

This whole scene fucking rules. Cell just smashes his way into a city, makes a giant hole in a TV studio, and when he puts his hand on the reception desk, it deforms as his hand moves towards it. I’d call this Big General Zod Energy, except General Zod wasn’t anywhere near this cool in Superman II.

He asks where they film the TV that gets broadcast all over the world, and the frightened receptionist tells him that he needs Studio B on the top floor. Cell just floats straight up and the floors rip open as he moves towards them. None of that elevator nonsense like in Movie 7. Cell just goes where he wants, how he wants.

Back at Capsule Corp, Yamcha slips on Krilin’s bald head. Vegeta’s probably watching them from the window. “They’re right,” he thinks to himself as he watches Yamcha plant his bare feet into Krillin’s face. “I’m one of them now.”

Meanwhile, Roshi watches aerobics girls on TV, and I guess in Dragon World they film that shit live, because Cell floats up into the studio and ruins the shot.

They change it to a cooking show, and he’s there too.

Then they switch it to... I guesss this is some sort of stage musical? I don’t understand how TV works in this world. They filmed all of these shows in the same building, live, and aired them on three separate channels?

I don’t know what this was supposed to be, but it’s not shown from Bulma’s TV, so maybe this one was being taped.

Finally, he ends up at Studio B, and smashes through the anchorman’s desk.

Hyperbolic Time Chamber Update: Gohan has a nightmare about Cell killing Chi-Chi and Piccolo right in front of him. Holy shit! How does he know what Cell looks like? How did Goku know what the androids and Vegeta were doing while he was laid up with the heart virus?

I was telling a friend of mine how this liveblog is helping me recalibrate for the fanfic I’m writing. I didn’t think I needed it, but this helps me remember what it is I’m trying to work from. I gave my Super Saiyan OC a lot of reasons to have trouble sleeping, and at times, I felt like that was kind of dumb and cliche. But now I realize why I did that in the first place. Nightmares and sleepless nights are par for the course for Super Saiyans. The only reason we don’t see Trunks having bizarre prophetic nightmares is because he grew up in one. Showing him sleeping poorly seems kind of redundant, you know?

Turns out, Gohan had a fever, which isn’t too surprising, considering the extreme conditions of this place. Once again, Gohan apologizes for not being good enough or strong enough to live up to the expectations he has for himself, but Goku’s totally cool about this. Goku’s been there, after all. More importantly, Gohan is far, far stronger than Goku ever was at his age. To put this into perspective, Gohan probably just now turned 11. Goku was 12 when Bulma first met him. As much as Gohan looks up to his dad, I think the reverse applies too.

Goku tries to tuck him in, and Gohan murmurs something about his desire to protect the others. Gohan’s laser focused on this. He may not enjoy fighting, but he’s completely devoted to the mission.

Back to business, Cell is here on TV to announce his new tournament, the Cell Games. First he introduces himself as the monster who killed all those people in Gingertown, Nickytown, and elsewhere. He says he no longer needs to feed on people, but he will be kicking the ass of everyone who shows up at his tournament in nine days.

Is that Piccolo’s TV, or Tien’s? Either way, I find it hilarious.

Basically, the Cell Game only resembles the Tenkaichi Budokai in the sense that you can lose by giving up, or by falling out of the ring. Otherwise, it’s a very different format. Instead of an elimination bracket, it’s a gauntlet match. Cell stands in the ring, and fights each competitor. If he wins, the next guy steps up and he fights that guy, and so on. The idea is to see how many of these fights Cell can win in a row with no time to rest. In theory, the more fighters who show up, the better chance of them wearing Cell down.

Perhaps most critically, lethal force is not illegal, as Chi-Chi speculated. If Cell kills you, you lose, not him. Frankly, that just makes sense. In the Tenkaichi Budokai, the idea was to defeat your opponent, not murder him, so lethal force would get you disqualified.

But the Cell Games are for the fate of the Earth. If Cell wins, he plans to kill everyone on the planet. So why should he spare his opponents? Why should he disqualify himself if he accidentally kills an opponent?

On the flip side, why should his opponents worry about killing him? If there was a no-kill rule, and Goku managed to kill Cell, that would technically make Cell the winner, but who would care? Also, what would happen if Goku managed to beat Cell by ringout? Would Cell abide by the rules? He never really explained what would happen if he lost. I assume he just didn’t see that as a possibility, or maybe he expected his opponents to try to kill him no matter what, so it wasn’t important.

I’m not the kind of Cell fan who spends a lot of time looking for ways he could reform, although I do feel like it’s a shame that he couldn’t see the value of sparing the Earth and making the Cell Games a regular thing. Like, let’s say he held this competition, and he survives to the end, win or lose. Wouldn’t it make sense to stage a followup tournament for next year? If the Saiyans could give him good sport twice, why not a third time? And then the Cell Games just becomes this annual event where everyone gets together to see how many fights this bug man can win.

But the reality is that Cell’s too big a dick for that. His perfect form was built on thousands of innocent victims, and his tournament ring is sitting on top of farmland owned by a guy her murdered. He killed that news anchor right before he announced this game, and he closes his announcement by blowing up part of the city he’s in. Yeah, Cell loves fighting, and you might talk him into doing Cell Games II next year, but he also loves terrorizing helpless people, and he’d be doing that for the entire year until the next event. I suppose this is what sets him apart from Vegeta and Piccolo.

Anyway, everyone is suitably terrified by Cell’s announcement. Cell is the first villain to announce his presence to the world since King Piccolo conquered it over a decade ago. The Saiyan invasion was known to the world, but there was very little understanding of what was going on. Goku’s role in that battle never made it to the news media, and the other Z-Fghters who did get televised all died in battle. To the world at large, they just knew that East City got destroyed by aliens, then there was a battle in some remote location, a bunch of martial artists and camera crews died, and then the aliens were gone.

This is something that’s always interested me about Dragon Ball, because I’m used to comic book universes where the main heroes and their adventures are well known to the public. I guess Superman was sort of the origin of that whole idea, since he worked for a newspaper, and he was such a powerful character that it was big news whenever he did anything, even in secret. In some of Superman’s earliest outings, he seemed very interested in keeping a low profile, like he didn’t even want people to know he existed, but the costume sort of undermined that idea. Eventually, he settled into the formula of being a public figure, and then writing about his own adventures as Clark Kent.

Other superhero franchises have followed that premise, although it gets kind of strained in places. If Mr. Fantastic invented a flying car years ago, why does everyone in Marvel still use real world technology? A lot of fantasy worlds try to sidestep that problem by having the super-powered characters exist in secret. Harry Potter’s whole deal is that wizards are real, and they have a whole secret society going on under the nose of the rest of the world, although it’s not very clear why they felt it so important to do this in the first place. The real reason is that J.K. Rowling wanted Harry to grow up in a normal household, instead of some parallel world where everyone knows magic is real.

Dragon Ball sort of tries to have it both ways. It’s mostly like the real world, but it can have advanced technology like the Hoi-Poi capsules and hovercars, and then there’s remote parts of the world where they don’t have those things. Trucks with wheels are still a thing, probably because Toriyama likes to draw real cars and made-up cars and he saw no reason to have to choose. As for Goku, he just goes in, whips ass, and leaves. If there’s media attention for his actions, so be it, but he’s not interested in it, so he doesn’t pursue it. One day the Red Ribbon Army got wiped out, and the world has no idea how or why. One day, King Piccolo got taken down, and the world found out about it, but they knew almost nothing about the boy who did the job. One day, Vegeta got sent packing, but he eventually came back, and no one knows who he is, or what happened in between.

And Goku’s fine with that. He sees no point in giving press conferences, or explaining What Just Happened to the rest of the people. He’s a very minor celebrity for participating in the Tenkaichi Budokai competitions, but only hardcore martial arts fans would have heard of him. I’m a pro wrestling fan, but I’d have to look up the last three winners of the G1.

And maybe this is one reason I dig this show so much. Over the years, western comic books have gotten increasingly mired in pointless details. You look at the new Spider-Man movie that’s coming up, and the general idea seems to be that Spider-Man needs Nick Fury to tell him what to do. That’s how the comics have been for decades now. These days you can’t be a superhero without some government agent telling you which way to pull up your tights. It’s bullshit, but the writers think it’s more “realistic” that way. Come to think of it, pro wrestling fell into the same trap a while back. It used to be that you’d turn on wrestling and they’d just show a bunch of matches, and it was taken for granted that some unseen authority booked the card. Now every American wrestling promotion has to waste time on all these in-story CEO’s, general managers, commissioners, and assistant general managers, and they all argue over which of them outranks the other. It’s dumb. Just let them fight. Dragon Ball’s gonna let them fight.

#dragon ball #2019dbliveblog #cell games saga #cell #perfect cell #goku #gohan #android 16 #dr brief #vegeta #trunks #bulma #tien #piccolo #yamcha #krillin #oolong #puar

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amandajoyce118 · 6 years ago

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Venom Easter Eggs And References

I realize the movie has been out for a couple of weeks and everyone is more interested in Daredevil right now, but I finally got the chance to type out my Easter eggs. It’s likely I didn’t catch them all, but here’s everything I’ve got.

Note: There are, obviously, spoilers for the movie. You’ve been warned if you haven’t yet seen Venom. If you’re holding off because critics say it sucks, I’ll tell you it’s exactly what I expected out of a Venom movie, and definitely not nearly the worst comic book movie I’ve seen.

Now, on to the Easter eggs.

The Life Foundation

In the comics, the group isn’t really a scientific think tank. Instead, they were a group of survivalists. They believed the Cold War was going to end the planet. They used Venom’s spawn to create five new symbiotes. We get a twist on that in the movie as they discover the symbiotes instead.

The Jameson Connection

One of the astronauts on the Life Foundation’s rocket, in fact, the only one left alive, is designated Jameson. That would be John Jameson, son of J. Jonah Jameson, Daily Bugle editor, meaning at least we know he exists in the Venom universe, even if he hasn’t appeared in any Marvel stuff lately.

It’s also a nice nod to the 90s Spider-Man cartoon where it was John who brought Venom to Earth during a space mission.

San Francisco

Setting the movie in San Francisco, away from all the usual Spider-Man action in New York, allows Sony to push back deciding if Venom and Spidey exist in the same universe or not. They’ve called it MCU-adjacent, so probably not.

San Francisco is also where Eddie Brock spent a lot of time in the comics after losing his job in New York. He spent two years there, and he actually spent a lot of time protecting the homeless, which gets a nod here as well.

Eddie’s Boss

Jack? Surprisingly, not credited in the credits at the end of the movie. Not sure why. But that’s Ron Cephas Jones. You might recognize him as Bobby Fish from Luke Cage.

Carlton Drake

In the comics, he did lead the Life Foundation for a while. He’s also the one who knew he could “extract seeds” from Venom to create more symbiotes. Just how he because so good at figuring out symbiotes in the comics isn’t clear, so it’s nice that he becomes a host for Riot in the movie.

Daily Globe

Yes, this paper exists in the comics. It’s a rival to the Bugle.

Eddie did lose his job at a paper with a bad call. He had someone confess to being a serial killer, and published an article about the guy. Turned out it was a false confession and Spider-Man caught the real killer. Eddie was run out of town. Something similar must have happened for him to lose his job here.

Barney Bushkin

When Eddie’s looking for work, this is the name of one of the people he texts. Barney also happens to be the editor of the Daily Globe. He always wants to one-up J. Jonah Jameson.

Annie Weying

Not Eddie’s almost wife in the comics, but his ex-wife. She is the host of Venom a couple of times in the comics, usually to help Eddie. She’s so overcome with guilt at what the symbiote makes her do though that she and Eddie can never really reconnect. She actually commits suicide eventually. Doesn’t look like that’s something we’ll see from her in the movie if a sequel moves forward since she actually seems to understand Venom pretty well. And yes, her transformation into Venom is straight out of the comic book illustration of She-Venom.

Eddie’s Weights

All those weights all over the floor of Eddie’s apartment have comic book precedent too. Eddie actually was incredible strong before he bonded with Venom, able to lift a few hundred pounds. He keeps up his workout routine even with Venom because he’s always preparing to take on Spider-Man, just in case.

The Schueller Building

Eddie’s apartment building is named after a longtime comic book fan by the name of Randy Schueller. The fan can actually be credited with the first inkling of Venom’s existence. It was he who sent in a letter recommending a black suit for Spider-Man decades ago. Marvel paid him $220 for the idea because they liked the black suit. That idea evolved to be Spider-Man finding a black suit in space that turned out to be a symbiotic alien creature. It’s evolved since then. Schueller gets a little credit with a building named for him.

Michelinie and McFarlane

The law firm that Annie works for is also named for people behind Venom’s origin story. Michelinie and MacFarlane are the comic creators credited with bringing Venom to the page as we know him today.

The Cancer Connection

Drake mentions wanting to use the symbiotes to cure cancer. In the Ultimate Universe of the comics, the symbiotes were actually created as suits to help control the progression of cancer. In the regular 616 continuity, Eddie had adrenal cancer when he bonded with Venom.

Roland Treece

Drake’s head of security was also in the comics, though not in the same role. He was on the board of directors for the Life Foundation. He also ended up in jail every time he went up against Venom. The two versions don’t really have much in common other than their names.

“Eyes, lungs, pancreas… so many snacks, so little time.”

Creepy line of dialogue, yes. But it was actually said by Venom to Spider-Man in the comics first.

A Dog Named Gemini

Okay, a lot of people picked up on the fact that Venom using a dog as an escape route had been one in the comics. To be fair, Venom can bond with just about anything. He’s bonded with a dinosaur and a car, amongst other things. What’s cute about this is that the dog’s name is Gemini. As in “the twins” in astrology, as in two personalities. And then it gets a symbiote? Nice foreshadowing.

Riot

The leader of the symbiotes is one of Venom’s offspring in the comics, and not any kind of invasion leader. Most of the abilities he exhibits actually belong to the other symbiotes in the comics, but it was probably less expensive to have one massive fight instead of several, so that’s forgivable.

One of the standout moments in his fight with Venom at the climax of the movie though? He forces Venom and Eddie to momentarily separate. That was actually a comic book cover once upon a time, only it was Carnage in the fight, not Riot.

Donna Diego

Okay, so I have to mention that one of Riot’s hosts is a woman who later eats a live eel to try and control his hunger. This is while Riot is bouncing from host to host to find its way to the Life Foundation. While she’s not named during the movie, she’s named as Donna Diego in the credits. In the comics, Donna Diego was actually a member of the Life Foundation and she becomes the one who bonds with the Scream symbiote. We see the colors for Scream (red and yellow) in the containment chambers, but never see Scream in action.

Stan Lee Cameo

He appears to give Eddie a little advice, but not just Eddie as he remarks “both of you,” indicating he knows about Venom as well. This is likely a nod to Lee appearing with the Watchers in the MCU, a note that he sees all. Does this mean Venom is in the MCU? No. Because the Watchers can see into other timelines and universes.

“I’m a loser too.”

Venom’s line of dialogue makes reference to more modern comic book stories that reveal he wasn’t a model Klyntar. Instead, he’s been paired with unstable hosts that have corrupted him. In fact, one of his first did just that, making him an outcast of his people.

Chocolate

When Venom tells Eddie he wants tater tots and chocolate, that’s no coincidence. Depending on the story, Venom’s species survives on different chemicals. One of those is adrenaline, which is why Eddie having adrenal cancer in the comics benefits Venom as he feeds on the overproduced adrenaline. The other is phenethylamine, which is found in not just the human brain, but also chocolate, making it a favorite snack of the symbiotes.

Ron Lim

The trend of naming things after people connected to Venom continues. One of the shops Eddie walks by, and herbalist, is named for Ron Lim. Lim was a major artist for Venom for several years.

Carnage

The mid credit scene features Eddie visiting a very dangerous man in jail. He makes the quip that when he gets out, there’ll be “carnage.” Obviously, this man is Cletus Kasady, who goes on to bond with the symbiote Carnage. What’s unclear here is how much his origin has been changed. Is he already Carnage and buying his time? Or will the comic book origin of Venom leaving a spore behind in the jail cell that bonds with him come to be? Who knows?

Into The Spiderverse

Sony likes to advertise for their other projects, which is exactly what they did post-credits with an extended sneak peek at Into The Spiderverse. Interestingly, they note that it’s “in another universe.” That’s sure to make fans wonder even more if Spider-Man even exists in Venom or not.

#venom #venom spoilers #venom easter eggs #marvel comics #marvel easter eggs

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dictionarywrites · 6 years ago

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Know Your Jeffs: A Guide To Goldblum’s Characters

This isn’t an exhaustive list, and I will be updating it as I watch more Goldblum movies, adding in the characters as I pick them up! Everything is below the cut so that I can just update as I take more stuff in.

The descriptions of movies and characters are very much not impartial, but they should give you an idea of what you’re in for if you want to look the film up. I’m only including stuff I’ve already seen, plus Raines, which I feel like I’m never gonna be able to get hold of, and am heartbroken about.

Movies are listed in CHRONOLOGICAL order, but if you CTRL+F, you can search for a particular character name, date, or movie/TV title. This is very much under construction. There are currently 40 Jeffs on the list.

1978 - Invasion Of The Bodysnatchers, dir. Philip Kaufman - IMDb

Invasion Of The Bodysnatchers is a film about a kind of alien who comes to Earth and steals people’s bodies - effectively, they make up their own pod-versions of them, and then turn the original to dust.

Jack Bellicec is a poet in New York City, who owns a bathhouse with his wife, Nancy. This film is a sci-fi horror, and Jack is earnest but antsy throughout - he’s a real cutie, and every much a good guy. He’s just the sweetest, and is generally in a state of complete and utter terror, whilst still trying to keep grounded and keep thinking forward.

1980 - The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow, dir. Henning Schellerup, IMDb

Okay, so, for a stupid TV movie from the 80s, this is actually really cute It loosely follows the plot of the short story, but generally with a happier ending and a lot more fun antics from Ichabod Crane, and it’s just great fun. A schoolteacher comes to the valley of Sleepy Hollow, and finds himself facing down the silly ghost stories continuously thrown forward by the locals.

Ichabod Crane is the cutest - he’s soft and sweet with the children, like he is in the short story, on top of being lanky and clumsy and a little stupid; he lacks a lot of his arrogance that he has in the short story, and instead he’s much less of a dick when he criticizes the ghost stories and stuff. He’s lovely, I adore him.

1980 - Tenspeed and Brownshoe, TV Series - IMDb

Tenspeed and Brownshoe is a delight - it’s a detective TV series with a very light-hearted tone, and it’s very comfortable to just settle back and watch casually.

Lionel Whitney is... a trip. A chartered accountant turned gumshoe, Lionel starts his own detective agency in L.A. after breaking up with his fiancée and meeting the charming (and duplicitous) E.L. Turner, a conman and scam artist. E.L. is his partner in the business, and the two combine strengths - Lionel with his idolisation of and knowledge of the 40s pulp fictional detective, Mark Savage, as well as his black belt in karate; E.L. with his thousands of accumulated skills, including being a master of disguise, a smooth-talker, and a winner at sleight of hand.

Lionel is a dote: he’s just the sweetest, and he really gives off Bertie Wooster vibes, but with an air of genuine competence Mr Wooster never had. He’s truly incredible, and all the episodes of Tenspeed and Brownshoe are up on YouTube, so it’s really worth watching!

1981 - Threshold, dir. Richard Pearce - IMDb

Okay, so Threshold... Big old snooze fest. Not a very engaging movie, not an especially good movie - I forgot a good deal of the movie after I finished watching it. It was uninspiring and a bit bland. The concept is basically that a pioneer in mechanical science re: bio-engineering comes up with a heart valve to replace a little girl’s heart - the pioneer being Jeff Goldblum’s character - and a doctor puts it in the little girl, but it’s a very unpopular decision, because it’s not organic. Obviously, in the 80s, that was a much bigger deal than it is now.

Aldo Gehring is just... Adorable. Too earnest, a little bit arrogant, and he’s just far too baby-faced for the age he’s textually said to be to be believable, but like... You know! It’s a dull movie either way, and Aldo isn’t a huge part of it.

1983 - The Big Chill, dir. Lawrence Kasdan - IMDb

The Big Chill is a film about a group of college friends that meet up for the first time in like, a decade after one of their closest friends commits suicide. They all come for the funeral, and spend a few days together in the aftermath.

A lot of people seem to dislike Michael Gold, but like, he’s kind of one of the most tragic of the figures in the movie - a lot of their friends don’t remember him initially, and he really isn’t good at doing anything other than compartmentalising and shoving down his emotions. He’s brittle and a little sharp, and maybe a bit too honest for his own good, but I really love him, and I totally rec him if you can handle the subject matter, which is obviously very grim and very sad.

1984 - The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai, dir. W.D. Richter - IMDb

Buckaroo Banzai is a guy who’s basically, like, any eight-year-old’s Mary Sue - he’s a cowboy, a neurosurgeon, an expert test pilot, a rockstar, etc... And they play it completely straight. Leading his band of hypercompetent pretty boys, The Hong-Kong Cavaliers, he saves the world, if not the universe, on the regular.

Doctor Sidney Zweibel, a.k.a. New Jersey, is a new addition to the team in The Adventures, and he’s a neurosurgeon who went to med school with Buckaroo. He’s a would-be cowboy, complete with boots, hat and chaps, and he’s just the cutest thing in the world, a sweet and pure boy. 10/10 Goldblums for Sid Zweibel.

1985 - Silverado, dir. Lawrence Kasdan - IMDb

Mmm, Silverado is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, and it has little to no plot. Even for a Western, I found it incredibly dry and disjointed, and I can’t in good fatih recommend it to anybody, even though John Cleese is inexplicably a sheriff midway through.

However. Slick (whose actual name is Calvin Stanhope) is really fucking hot, and so you should watch his scenes on YouTube, even if you don’t watch the movie (which you shouldn’t). Slick’s screentime tocks up to around 15-20 minutes, out of a movie that’s genuinely like, two and a half hours long.

Slick is like, a casino man with a knife in his boot; he wears furs; he’s terrible. He’s so great, I adore him.

1985 - Into The Night, dir. John Landis - IMDb

Into The Night is... a little hard to describe. It’s like, a crime thriller movie with Jeff Goldblum and Michelle Pfeiffer, and with a cameo from David Bowie, as well as about 700 other Hollywood lads who Landis knew. I think the plot is... loose, and the film itself isn’t the greatest, but the main characters are pretty great.

Ed Okin is an astrophysicist dissatisfied with his job and his life in general, who abruptly becomes plagued by this inescapable insomnia, and subsequently becomes embroiled in this whole crime plot across from Pfeiffer. I really love Ed - because of the insomnia, he tends to underreact to most of the situations around him, and he’s very likable.

1985 - Transylvania 6-5000, dir. Ruby de Luca - IMDb

Is TR 6-5000 a good movie? No, absolutely not. But should you watch it? Oh, yes.

This is like, a comedy/absurdist horror/pastiche, lots... It’s lots of stuff. Basically, these two reporters who do a Weekly World News style thing go to Transylvania to report on Frankenstein, and also meet some Igors, a werewolf, a vampire, etc.

Jack Harrison is such a great character - he’s pretty much eternally looking after his hapless partner, Gil, but both of them are as ridiculous as the other, each of them stumbling into bizarre situations. Definitely don’t take the movie too seriously, but it really is a fun thing, and it’s certainly worth watching for the goofy trip it is. Jack is a real sweetheart, and he’s so lovable - Gil certainly thinks so. ;)

1986 - The Fly, dir. David Cronenburg - IMDb

So, fair warning, I nearly vomited like, several times watching The Fly, and was on the verge of just turning it off a few times. It’s nearly forty years old, but the body horror of the effects really stands up, and it’s very gory toward the end. Despite its well-earned rep as such a gory film, though, The Fly is actually a heartbreaking tragedy, so definitely don’t expect it to be lacking in the feels department if you can stomach it.

Seth Brundle (yeah, poor guy, what a name) is a really impressive engineer and scientist, and he invents a machine that should enable him to teleport objects from one electronic pod to another. Unfortunately, when teleporting himself, he becomes melded with an intruder to the pod - a fly - and begins a horrifying transition into something other than human.

Seth at the start is... He’s a genius, but he’s naive, arrogant, and a little too trusting in how earnest he is. As time goes on, and he begins the change into Brundlefly, he becomes much more erratic, and his personality changes a lot. I totally rec Seth, honestly.

1988 - Vibes, dir. Ken Kwapis - IMDB

Vibes is a fucking trip. It’s a movie about two psychics - Jeff Goldblum’s character, Nick Deezy, who can tell the history of an object by touching it, and Cyndi Lauper’s character, Sylvia Pickel, who is a medium. Yes, you read that right. Cyndi Lauper. It’s incredible.

Vibes is actually a much better movie than I expected - it’s a genuinely funny comedy, it’s ridiculous and cartoonish and stupid, but it’s fun. Cyndi Lauper and Goldblum have a tango scene at one point, and the height differential is so extreme that she’s literally wrapped around his waist and he’s just carrying her around.

Nick Deezy himself is a really interesting character - he’s kinda used to being used and pushed around because of his psychic powers, but he’s a guy with such a lot of courage and genuine empathy for others, and I just think he’s so sweet.

1988 - Earth Girls Are Easy, dir. Julien Temple - IMDb

So... Earth Girls Are Easy is in the same vein as Vibes for me - it’s a fun romp, and so long as you don’t take it too seriously, it’s a really enjoyable movie. It’s about these three furry aliens that drop down to Earth, and are trying to pick up the language and have a good time. It’s good banter, and it’s also a musical, because-- It was 1988, okay?

Mac is like, probably one of the most genuinely sweet characters out of the ones on this list - he’s very caring, and he’s doing his best to do good whilst not really being able to navigate the world around him very easily. He’s wonderful, and I can’t rec Earth Girls enough.

He’s also a big, furry, blue guy in his underwear for the first part of the movie, if that helps.

1989 - The Tall Guy, dir. Mel Smith - IMDb

So, disclaimer. This film is written by Richard Curtis, so like... It’s snappy, it’s clever, but it’s also a little insufferable and kinda misogynistic the whole way through, with the classic Curtis obsession with infidelity, where characters cheat on one another whether it makes sense or not.

That aside, I really enjoyed the first two acts of this movie, and while the third one falls very flat, I still think it’s worth watching. Goldblum’s character, Dexter King, plays the straight man in Rowan Atkinson’s comedy sketch act, but goes on to have a romantic relationship with Emma Thompson, and those links are just... So cute.

I think Dexter is kind of a dick, but by no means does that make him unlikable, and I’d still rec The Tall Guy! I’m not sure how long Goldblum was in the UK for - there’s a nude sex scene with Goldblum and Thompson, and I was really thrown, because he’s super pale in this film, compared to similar nude scenes in like, The Fly. So there’s your fun tidbit for the day lmao.

1990 - Mister Frost, dir. Philippe Setbon - IMDb

This film is... Odd. As a thriller, it’s fine - you know, it’s average. It isn’t so terrible, but it’s not great either. But as like, a film, there are aspects where it’s just inexplicably terrible - some of the lines are dubbed over, for some reason, and the sound quality is so off in random moments; there are odd moments where the camera is just too close to the actors’ faces, even for a close-up; technically, this film just has some bizarre and glaring... errors.

The plot is interesting, though, and I did enjoy it for that aspect - Mister Frost is a serial killer institutionalized in an attempt to cure him of his murderous tendencies, and he then professes to be Lucifer himself.

Mister Frost is a funny guy. He’s snide, clever, self-obsessed and sharp - I really liked him, and I totally think he’s worth a watch.

1992 - Fathers & Sons, dir. Paul Mones - IMDb

[icon to be added if I can ever get a decent fucking picture or screencap or something of this film]

This film was bad. I didn’t care for it. Fathers & Sons is, however, like... Very human, I guess. Max, Goldblum’s character, runs a bookstore on the coast and is having trouble communicating with his son, Ed; there’s a lot of tension between them based off the death of Ed’s mother and Max’s own character flaws, as well as Max’s temper. There’s fucking voiceover in the film, which is used clumsily and just comes across as terrible, but there aren’t any glaring technical issues throughout like there are with Mister Frost.

Max himself is not, in my opinion, a very likable character? He’s certainly relatively sympathetic, and you can see where he’s coming from, but he’s got a terrible temper and the tension with Ed is very much his own doing in a lot of respects - despite my personal dislikes, however, Goldblum is as ever a marvel, and you really do feel that Max is a whole, complete person.

1992 - Shooting Elizabeth, dr. Baz Taylor - IMDb

This film was a fucking trip and a half. The premise is that this guy, Howard, really hates his wife, and decides he hates her so much that he’s gonna kill her, but when she goes missing, he is arrested for her murder even though he never got around to it. It’s a generically confused movie which neither really meets its labelled genres of comedy or thriller, but wouldn’t do well under drama or romance either. It’s odd.

Howard Pigeon, as a character, is deeply unstable. A lot of the moments in the movie that I think are meant to be comedic just end up being tragic, because you can see how upset he is, how freaked out he is, and how disconnected from reality and rational thought he is. He’s also just... A really fucking bad person, but to be honest, so is his wife, so like... Hey. It is what it is, I guess.

1992 - Deep Cover, dir. Bill Duke - IMDb

Deep Cover is fucking incredible. It’s easily one of my favourite movies now, and I just die over it, to be honest. Playing across from Laurence Fishburne (then billed as Larry), David Jason (Elias in the script, and I don’t know why they changed it, maybe to make his name less blatantly Jewish, but I assume none of them had ever heard of Only Fools and Horses) is a low-down cocaine mogul trying to break out on his own from the local boss.

He’s a fascinating character, and I just adore him - the film itself is a very gritty noir that really considers lines of racial intersection and prejudice within both the police force and the drug trade, and David himself is constantly suffering from antisemitism and a lot of very targeted homophobic remarks, and it’s heavily implied he wants to fuck John, Laurence Fishburne’s character. David is erratic, sharp, and extremely brittle with a very short temper: he and John kinda balance each other out, because John’s a much cooler, calmer guy, and I just love their dynamic.

David’s my son. I love him. I will cry over him forever.

1993 - Jurassic Park, dir. Steven Spielberg - IMDB ↪1997 - Jurassic Park: The Lost World, dir. Steven Spielberg - IMDb ↪2018 - Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, dir. J.A. Bayona - IMDb

So, like, I’m sure you know the basic concept of Jurassic Park. A crazed Walt Disney parody in white linen with seemingly unlimited money decides to clone a bunch of fucking dinosaurs and put them into a theme park, and it goes horribly wrong. These films are genuinely great sci-fi, raising some wonderful philosophical questions about ownership, ethics, and our place in the universe, and the voice of that philosophy usually belongs to Doctor Ian Malcolm, a mathematician who specialises in chaos theory.

Ian Malcolm... I just adore him, I really do. You know, I’ve read the book of course, as well as the seen all the Jurassic Park and Jurassic World movies, and Ian is just a delight - he’s bright, he’s sarcastic, but he’s genuinely full of feeling and so eager to talk to other people, to connect with them, etc. I just find him fascinating, and even if sci-fi isn’t your thing, you’ll love Jurassic Park for him alone.

He reprises his role in the latest Jurassic World movie - I can’t, in all good conscience, really recommend the Jurassic World movies, but... He is a silver fox.

1995 - Hideaway, dir. Brett Leonard - IMDb

Hideaway is a supernatural thriller based around the concept of demonic possession, and an antiques dealer - Hatch Harrison - finds he has visions of a local serial killer after being revived from being dead for several minutes. Using those visions to thwart the killer, he and his family realise the cause is supernatural.

Hatch is a really cool dude, and I like him a lot - he’s got the strongest dad energies, and he’s so, so caring. Even grieving and tense, like, he’s just doing his best, and he’s such a good guy, I really adore him.

1995 - Nine Months, dir. Chris Columbus - IMDb

Nine Months is a terrible movie thick with a deeply unsettling ideology re: the whole “everybody really wants kids and must have them”, and I honestly despised it throughout. It’s just a terrible movie, and Columbus always ranges from “this guy is a vaguely bad director” to “this guy is a fucking twat”, and there is nothing vague about the badness of this movie.

That aside, however, Goldblum’s character is kind of a delight. Sean Fletcher is a painter (of paintings, not houses) and like... Layabout? He’s a little erratic, he changes his mind about stuff constantly, but he’s a really sound guy, and he cares a lot about Hugh Grant’s character, who is the protagonist. He’s really fun in a movie that’s just garbage the way through.

1995 - Powder, dir. Victor Salva - IMDb

Powder is a very sad movie, to be honest. It’s about this lad who’s like, an albino with telekinetic powers, and when his parents die, he ends up having to go into the public school system, where he’s bullied an awful lot. It’s extremely brutal about a lot of the bullying stuff, and it does come across very accurately; just as a general warning, there’s... an uncomfortable tone to it, although nothing directly or graphically terrible, especially re: sexuality, which I noticed even before looked Salva up and realised he was that paedophile that did Jeepers Creepers. It’s just something to be aware of.

Jeff’s character is... a delight, however. Donald Ripley is a high school teacher who’s genuinely really passionate about teaching, has no small amount of sympathy for all of his students, and is just-- He’s really sweet, and I love him. Despite the uncomfortable gaze of the film, he retains a paternal air, and I love it.

1996 - Independence Day, dir. Roland Emmerich - IMDb ↪2016 - Independence Day: Resurgence, dir. Roland Emmerich - IMDb

Independence Day, honestly, I expected to be like, bad sci-fi dreck, and it genuinely isn’t. While I think the premise is inherently stupid (the whole evil aliens invade thing), it’s actually executed so well, and I just love it as a flick - Judaism saves the day in many aspects, and it’s so nice to have that positive thing mixed up in it.

David Levinson is such a sweet guy - he’s arrogant and a little bit of an ass, but like, he’s so caring: he constantly worries about his dad, he’s so loyal to his ex-wife without being creepy or weird about it after like, three years; he fucking recycles and uses his bike to get around the city... Like, he’s an underachiever initially, but he’s a genuinely nice guy despite his abrasive personality at times, you know?

I just love him.

And he reprises the role in the new movie, which isn’t as good as the first one, but is still worth a watch for Julius Levinson’s antics, picking up grandchildren as he drives across America.

1998 - Holy Man, dir. Stephen Herek - IMDb

My full review of Holy Man is here.

Holy Man is not a good film. It’s about an exec who runs a TV shopping channel, but is like, really shit at it, and he ends up getting G., a homeless guru played by Eddie Murphy, to sell stuff for him. Nonsensical and odd although the film is, it’s actually surprisingly sweet and wholesome, and I really enjoyed a lot of the humour.

Ricky is a pretty bad guy at the beginning, but he’s slick and fun and good-humoured - he’s mostly just selfish more than outright evil, and he actually ends up becoming a lot less selfish toward the end of the film. He’s a sweetheart, in some respects.

2001 - Cats & Dogs, dir. Lawrence Guterman - IMDb

God, this movie is so bad, and so much more racist than I remembered? There’s this whole racist sequence with some ninja cats, complete with the chopsticks-style music playing in the background, and that’s... Awful.

But Charles Brody is actually really funny, to be honest. Goldblum somehow makes him feel really human - earnest and work-obsessed, but still desperate to be a good father despite not being naturally inclined, and that’s... Honestly, I hate it when he does this. He takes the stupidest character in the stupidest movie and makes them feel like a real person, and I hate him for it.

Brody is cute.

2002 - Igby Goes Down, dir. Burr Steers - IMDb

Igby Goes Down is... Hm. What best to call it? Insipid teenage horseshit. The whole film is just fucking terrible, honestly - it centres around the Culkin that isn’t Kevin in Home Alone, and he’s some unbearable little New York teenager who thinks the world revolves around him and is upset at the prospect that perhaps he should go to school and/or get a job.

Anyway, Goldblum is at his least moral and most hot, he is revolting, and he is so sexy. There’s a weird thing where he’s the family friend of a family that’s pretty anti-semitic, but they play it straight, as if Jeff Goldblum’s face isn’t one of the most Jewish faces anybody’s ever seen, but that aside, he’s really sexy. Sociopathic, abruptly violent, and infrequently undressed, but it’s not worth watching the rest of the film for, to be honest.

2003 - Spinning Boris, dir. Roger Spottiswoode - IMDb

Spinning Boris. What a film.

Here, listen, we just watched this, me and @annethecatdetective, and it was absolutely nothing that I expected,or could expect. It’s a heavily fictionalised “based on a true story” film about three Rpublicans who went to work on the Boris Yeltsin campaign in ‘96. We, apparently, are once again meant to believe Jeff Goldblum as a goyische Republican, which--

I mean, what can I tell you? He does it so well. George Gorton’s fictionalised counterpart is charismatic, charming and funny, but so is most of the movie - the Republican trio are all morons, but that actually lends to their likability in the end, and Gorton is the most lovable of the three, taking the foreground. This movie was like, actually really good.

2004 - The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou, dir. Wes Anderson - IMDb

I hated this film, and had to fast-forward a lot of it. I’m not a fan of Anderson at all, much as Goldblum is always singing his praises - I just don’t get it, I guess. Anderson is a master of visual spectacle, but he’s one of the worst writers out there, and pithy lines don’t make up for the complete lack of character that any of his films have.

Alistair Hennessy is no exception. He’s pithy, vaguely (comedically?) sociopathic, and is kinda DTF... And that’s about it. Even Goldblum can’t really add that much depth to this guy, because there’s no depth in other characters for him to play off.

2006 - Man of the Year, dir. Barry Levinson - IMDb

Mmm, so, Man of the Year surprised me.

It’s definitely quite weak, when it comes to plot and writing - the jokes aren’t at their strongest; it can’t really decide whether it wants to be a comedy or a political thriller; some of the jokes and commentary are very off-colour and have not aged well; it seeks to set out a political moral without making any particular targets. Nonetheless, I rather enjoyed it - it doesn’t pretend to be a higher art than it is, and I think it’s still enjoyable. The primary drawback is probably that the premise of a comedian being elected president of the USA is much less hilariously unbelievable in the wake of the Trump campaign, and that colours my perception a little - some of the protag’s comments about immigration or women, the way he responds to other candidates in debate, Hell, even Robin Williams’ wearing of a red baseball cap at one point... All of those elements kinda take the humour out of it a bit because of the Trump election, but hey, it was 2006 - how could they possibly know?

Goldblum’s character in this, Mr Stewart, is the lawyer and primed attack dog of a corrupt company that produces the electronic voting machines responsible for Williams’ character being elected. He isn’t at his most Goldblum-esque in this, I have to say - he’s sharp, nasty, and very business-focused, but he doesn’t get that much time on screen, and his on-screen moments don’t lean very much into his usual charm and humour. Stewart is actually a very dull, run-of-the-mill evil corporate type, and he was a pretty boring character.

2007 - Raines, TV Series - IMDb

I will write whatever you want if you can get me a download link for this, or somewhere where I can just buy the fucking series, from Ireland. I am desperate to watch it, because it looks fucking awful. Michael Raines is a detective who hallucinates that his victims help him solve the crimes.

Doesn’t that sound so bad? I need it.

2009-2010 - Law & Order: Criminal Intent, TV Series - IMDb

So like, you know the shtick with Law & Order. It’s a gory, stupid crime procedural that’s just really stupid. This one, Criminal Intent, is about major crimes, but honestly, I have little to no idea exactly what a major crime is, even having watched the two seasons in which Zach Nichols is a marauding force.

Zach Nichols himself is... Fascinating. So, you know how there’s this fucking trend of just, mean detective who everyone lets be mean because he’s a ~genius~ or whatever, and everyone is always like “ugh, he fucking sucks, but we gotta let him do that”? That is not the case with Zach Nichols. Zach Nichols is nothing short of a genuine sociopath, continuously manipulative, randomly and without provocation is he cruel to victims, witnesses and criminals alike. At no point does anybody call him out for being terrible, or even admitting he’s being terrible. It’s like no one registers the cruelty of his behaviour, or cares.

Honestly, I expect it’s quite accurate as to the New York police system, and in the mean time, it’s really fucking hot. He’s my favourite of all of Goldblum’s characters, and he disgusts me on literally every level.

2010 - Morning Glory, dir. Roger Michell - IMDb

Morning Glory is... It starts out very bland and uninspiring, but it does grow on you more as it goes on. In my opinion, it would have been better if they’d just tried to bill it genuinely, as a comedy-drama, which is what it is - instead, they tried to shoehorn in a very ugly actor I forget the name of as a love interest for Rachel McAdams, I presume in desperate hope of earning that rom-com dollar. Nonetheless, it’s a cute enough concept - TV journalist gets her dream job running a news studio, and has to get bully and asshole anchor Harrison Ford to be fun and wholesome for the morning show. It’s cute, and I do think it’s worth watching despite some of the issues with it.

Jerry is like... He’s so fucking great. Jerry is just an ass. He’s rude, he’s biting, he’s constantly telling McAdams’ character to make stuff that is impossible work, and he very much eats, breathes, and sleeps his job, while packing in time to jog and to fuck an extremely stupid girl, Lisa, he put in the newsroom, who believes in shit like past lives and angels, and is literally the best character in the movie.

Jerry and Lisa are the fucking greatest, everyone else can go home.

According to the IMDb credits, he has a wife who is unnamed, but like... I have no memory of her even being in the movie, honestly. It’s not the greatest of cinematic works.

2010 - The Switch, dir. Josh Gordan & Will Speck - IMDb

The Switch? Bad concept. It’s about Jason Bateman’s character stealing the sperm donation that Jennifer Aniston was going to use to get pregnant, and then replacing it with his own. So like, off the bat, the whole reproductive rape, grievious sexual assault thing, that the movie... Kinda expects you to view as romantic? Somehow? I don’t.... get it. Apparently it’s okay because their characters are “friends”.

Anyway, moving onto the important part, Leonard, Jeff’s character, is great. He’s go the BDE going on; at one point he’s walking on the treadmill while eating a candy bar, and mocks Jason Bateman for not doing the same; he’s sarcastic, eccentric, and a massive THOT that lets women handfeed him; and, inexplicably, despite being Jason Bateman’s boss, him and Bateman are best friends. 10 out of 10 Goldblums for Leonard, who they didn’t bother to give a last name to.

2012 - Zambezia, dir. Wayne Thornley - IMDb

Egh. Like, even for a kid’s movie this one was pretty bland? The actual design and animation is pretty beautiful - I love the designs of all the wildlife, which is the main focus of it, and that’s really well-done throughout; there’s also a star-studded cast of voice actors. The story is pretty dull, and the script ain’t great, but hey. It’s a kid’s movie, and I think it does what it means to do.

Ajax, Goldblum’s character, is pretty cute - he’s like, a busybody, like the fucking... Toucan or whatever he is in the Lion King. He’s the advisor to the bird king or whatever. That’s... I mean, that’s pretty much it. There’s very little to say here.

2013 - Le Week-end, dir. Roger Michell - IMDb

Le Week-end is fucking adorable. It’s about this struggling middle-aged couple who go to Paris for a weekend to try to rekindle their marriage, and they run around committing shenanigans, arguing, and generally being a little bit adorable.

They meet Morgan, who is an old schoolfriend of Jim Broadbent’s character, and is now like, a best-selling writer in economics, and he invites them for a really stupid dinner party full of really impressive people, which makes both of them feel very inadequate. Jim Broadbent spends a lot of the party with Morgan’s weird teenage son, chatting about how Morgan is kind of a dick, but honestly, Morgan is just... Not self-aware. He’s pretty much in love with Jim Broadbent the entire time, and sings everybody’s praises, then comes to rescue them both at the end.

He’s very cute, kinda selfish, kind of disconnected from reality, and I have a lot of affection for him.

2014 - The Grand Budapest Hotel, dir. Wes Anderson - IMDb

The Grand Budapest Hotel is like... It’s a Wes Anderson film. Egh.

Deputy Kovacs is probably the least Goldblum-y character in any Goldblum role. He doesn’t have many of the verbal tics, and to be honest, he doesn’t even move his hands in the typical Goldblum fashion - if you look at the dinner scene, you can see his fingers twitching as he tries to keep his hand still.

Kovacs has some good lines, but like any Anderson character, doesn’t really have a character.

2015 - Mortdecai, dir. David Koepp - IMDb

Mortdecai is a terrible fucking film, and I despised it. It was just awful, it really was, and Johnny Depp and Gwyneth Paltrow’s characters were each fucking insufferable. It’s about this posh cunt who sells art, and then lots of people try to kill him because he’s posh, and a cunt.

Jeff’s character, Milton Krampf, is the father of Olivia Munn’s character, and Olivia Munn is a nymphomaniac who wants to fuck Johnny Depp. Milton gets like, 5 minutes of screentime, and is weirdly on board with his daughter banging Johnny Depp, but that’s it. If you ask my opinion, they should have had Milton try to bang Depp, and let Olivia Munn be in charge, but like... It was a bad movie. There was no thinking outside the box.

2017 - Thor: Ragnarok, dir. Taika Waititi - IMDb

I mean, what do I even say?

Thor: Ragnarok is like, my least favourite Thor film, but not because it’s not great. Thor: Ragnarok is so much better than most of the other Marvel films put together - it’s fun, it’s snappy, it’s beautifully shot, it has a vision, etc. etc. Taika Waititi’s humour mostly isn’t my thing, but his comedy is so well-ranging and so well-done that like, even if it isn’t your thing, you still get laughs out of his movies. Ragnarok is a great movie - it’s not my favourite for like, Loki’s characterisation, but... Honestly, when you’re watching it, that stuff just falls away. It’s so entertaining and so well done, even if I don’t agree with some of the characterization and story choices.

And the GM, God, he’s... Just terrible. I adore him. You know I adore him, this whole blog is just GM fanfiction. He’s an Eldritch being with unlimited power who forces people to fight in an intergalactic alien arena while shtupping Loki Laufeyson and being too lazy to properly rule a planet. What’s not to love?

2018 - Seth Rogen’s Hilarity for Charity, dir. Ryan Polito - IMDb

Hilarity for Charity was not funny, and was generally very painful to watch. I would recommend you skip through all of the “comedy” except for Tiffany Kaddish and John Mulaney.

At the end of the special, Jeff Goldblum plays the human face of the Netflix Algorithm, and playfully talks about destroying all human life. It’s pretty cute.

2018 - Isle of Dogs, dir. Wes Anderson - IMDb

I fell asleep during this. Like, within a half hour, I fell asleep.

Goldblum is underutilised, but to be honest, so are a lot of the characters - Isle of Dogs is a very weird movie, and I’m a little unclear as to some of the choices Anderson made with it, but visually, it’s a very strong movie, and it’s more enjoyable than most.

I still fell asleep.

Goldblum’s character, Duke, is like, a husky with a cheerful attitude, and he’s constantly gossiping and making shit up. His lines are good fun.

2018 - Hotel Artemis, dir. Drew Pearce - IMDb

Now, Hotel Artemis, not a great movie. The plot is very lacking, the characters mostly cardboard archetypes instead of developed individuals... I think the film has a lot of issues with telling the audience the stuff that could be shown much more artfully, but like, egh.

Despite those issues, Orian Franklin - Niagara - is a very interesting character. He’s in the movie for a very short amount of time (barely twenty-five minutes of screentime, if that) but he’s a really interesting enigma, and I really loved what little they bothered to do with him.

He’s one of those characters that’s much more interesting in fanfic than in the canon.

#as defined by dictionary #jeff goldblum #jgcu #dictionary writes #this is very much under construction lol

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treasure-mimic · 6 years ago

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So I saw Captain Marvel last night.

It was good. It was perfectly serviceable as an action movie, as a superhero movie, and as a Marvel movie. I imagine there’s gonna be a lot of little girls and grown women who love it because Carol is a really cool character. It was good.

It has, however, gotten me to think about something specific a lot since I’ve seen it though. What’ve I been thinking about?

Nirvana.

Post will contain spoilers for the major plot twist in Captain Marvel.

I think it’s probably pretty easy to harp on Captain Marvel for leaning as hard as it does on the 90s aesthetic. A decision seemingly made out of convenience and enforced by general cultural excitement at just, naming things that existed in the 90s and don’t anymore. But, ya know, let’s give Captain Marvel a little more credit than that. Let’s try and look into Captain Marvel’s themes and see if we can’t sus out a reason behind it.

Let’s talk about Skrulls.

A common reading of all alien invasion media is the idea that the alien force preys upon what the populace fears most at the time. Steven Spielberg’s War of the Worlds (2005), for example, sets itself as a direct and intentional parallel to the September 11th attacks on the World Trade Centers, mirroring a lot of the imagery from the attacks and a lot of the language used about the enemy and events just following. In The Avengers (2012) the evil alien horde presents itself as a tactical and well-armed warforce staging a frontal invasion on a civilian populace, coincidentally in the same city as the 9/11 attacks, and when it does get paralleled to any terrestrial army, is compared to the conquering, expanding force of the Nazi army in World War 2. The US fears an invasion, the hordes at the gate ready to rush in and slaughter us while we sit comfortable and unprotected.

In contrast, however, we have The Body Snatchers, written in 1954, published in 1955, and adapted for the screen first in 1956. A supernatural thriller wherein a race of sentient plants from outer space land in the US and consume regular humans, replacing them with replicas that walk and talk like normal people, but are actually duplicates created by these pods, disguising their presence on earth while they attempt to consume every human being on the planet without any person being any the wiser, with any attempt to expose their actions being chalked up to “hysteria”. While all writers involved deny any intentional theming along these lines, one of the most common readings in all of cinema is that the story, perhaps unintentionally, parallels the fears felt by Americans of communists and Soviet spies infiltrating the country from within, deteriorating our systems to defend ourselves until its too late. It’s very easy to read Invasion of the Body Snatchers in this light as it was coming out alongside much more explicit narratives about much more explicit Soviet spies with similar insidious plots, to the point that even by 1961 their tropes and conventions were being parodied in publications like Spy vs Spy.

A year later is when the Skrulls invaded. In 1962, The Fantastic Four #2 was released, premiering an invading alien race of shapeshifters called the Skrulls who can effortlessly implant themselves among life on earth by taking on the appearance and memories of the people they copy. Following so closely to the footsteps of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and coming out so soon afterwards, it’s not the biggest stretch to apply the same reading to the Skrulls. They are, or at least were, an extension of the fear of Soviet spies in our midst, turning us on our protectors, scoring key seats in our government, and turning us over to an uncaring invading force. The Skrulls would continue this act throughout nearly every appearance they’ve had since, even after the end of the Cold War and the dissolution of the Soviet Union in 1991.

You know what else happened in 1991?

youtube

It’s likely unfair to point to one single instance as the “start” of a cultural era, but Nirvana’s Nevermind is as good a place to start the 90s as any. One of its tracks even plays during one of Captain Marvel’s key scenes. So let’s now talk about Nirvana.

The sentiment that sits at the core of Nirvana’s work, as well as the core of all 90s alternative and grunge acts, is a potent combination of disaffection and frustration. After a couple decades of constantly fearing for their own lives and the lives of everyone around them, the mood of the youth of the generation burned out and gave way to a dull irritation. There wasn’t enough energy to keep the anger going sincerely, so instead the anger was kept alive through irony. A bitter hateful sarcasm, frustrated with every power structure that had been involved in leading to this point. Frustrated with corrupt government officials (”Some of those that work forces, are the same that burn crosses”), with uncaring capitalistic systems (”God money’s not looking for the cure. God money’s not concerned about the sick among the pure.”), with societal systems that keep them down (”Oh, I’m just a girl, all pretty and petite, so don’t let me have any rights”), with themselves (”What drives you on can drive you mad, a million lies to sell yourself is all you’ve ever had”), and just a frustration with a world that doesn’t and doesn’t pretend to understand them (”Oh well, whatever, nevermind.”).

90s alternative and grunge as genres set themselves as opposites to the aesthetics of the decades preceding them. In terms of pop culture, the 80s were the decade of glamour and bombast, the 90s were the decade of grounding and moodiness. It refutes and refuses to partake in the systems that created and drove the half century of wars that preceded it.

So doesn’t it make sense then, that the Marvel movie set in and embroiling itself in the 90s grunge era is the one that humanized these representatives of Soviet agents. Gave them families and a backstory and a very human reason to fight.

So, that’s that then. Captain Marvel isn’t just using the 90s aesthetic as a shallow means to pander to nostalgic twenty-somethings, its a thematic connection to reinforce the need to consider the other side’s perspective, using the counterculture of grunge to boost the counterculture of good guy Skrulls, right?

Well, no!

Look, okay, I’ll be the first to admit that I pulled all that directly out of my ass. I can’t imagine this level of thought went into connecting the story of Captain Marvel to the pervading zeitgeist of the 90s, especially when the Nirvana and No Doubt songs are played against Blockbuster Videos and Two Way Pagers. Besides, while it might be a good idea to understand that the Soviet spies and plants are in fact people with families and lives, saying that the Soviet Union were actually misunderstood good guys is at best the innocent musings of someone who genuinely didn’t know how bad things got and at worst grounds to suspect someone is actually some kind of Russian psyop themselves, and it’s far from any kind of message that Disney of all corporations would ever want attached to them. But that doesn’t make the analysis wrong per say. As said before, the writers of Invasion of the Body Snatchers disagree with the reading of its parallel to Cold War paranoia.

But Captain Marvel just doesn’t have the right 90s attitude. She’s defiant, certainly, maybe even counterculture given her response to the sexism she’s faced her entire life, but she doesn’t abandon the system, she doesn’t even really learn to see all enemies as people, and she does the least grunge thing of all and chooses a side.

I’m not saying the movie would be better if Carol reasoned with the imperialistic hivemind robo-fascist that literally brainwashed her to use as a weapon, or if she had just left the Kree to commit genocide against what is, in this universe, an oppressed racial minority that’s already been driven to the brink of extinction by rampant imperialism, but the movie still puts the blame on a nation of citizenry as opposed to the systems that influence them. The Skrulls have family and just want to live their lives in peace. The Kree don’t and don’t. The Supreme Intelligence wasn’t lying to an entire nation of soldiers, telling them that the Skrulls are all terrorists and the aggressors in this conflict, it was literally just Carol. Carol was the only one who didn’t know. Those soldiers that Carol had spent six years training with, living with, trusting with her life, they can be killed without a thought cause they’re the bad guys. Cause they didn’t have families like the Skrulls did.

In all likelihood, Marvel Studios saw a female led movie as being enough of a risk and wanted to keep the rest of film entirely safe. It’ll cause less waves if instead of portraying two warring factions as shades of grey, they just swap out black and white’s positions halfway through.

Captain Marvel adopts the aesthetics of 90s rebellion without going that extra step to actually rebel. It comes close to the realization that war is made of people with lives being shunted to their end by careless systems looking for profit, but still organizes all the players into a good side and a bad side instead of acknowledging the fascist systems behind them seeking excess material wealth and control.

Oh well.

Whatever.

Nevermind.

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hedgehog-goulash7 · 6 years ago

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This came in on Ask, but I will answer in a regular post so folks can see the whole set of questions and answers:

anthony-edward-stark-is-my-hero said:

Hi! There is this guy on Twitter called Jeremy Conrad who seems to know a lot of stuff about Avengers 4 and it seems that most of his information is legit. A couple of weeks ago he leaked that the Avengers 4 title is "Annihilation" and later Mark Ruffalo sort of confirmed in on Jimmy Fallon's show. Plus, he stands pretty firmly behind his words regarding the title. So, he also leaked another spoiler regarding the actress Katherine Langford who is also casted for A4 in a mysterious role. (1/4)

(2) He claims that she will play Tony and Pepper's daughter in the movie. Do you believe this is true? And most importantly how do you feel about the idea? There's been rumors that A4 will be about time travel but I think the writers debunked this theory, so the other most likely possibility is dealing with the quantum realm and alternate universes. Given the fact that the actress is quite older to be born and raised in the present, she is probably Tony's daughter from a parallel universe.

3) I personally have bad feelings about this since I quite enjoy Tony and Peter's father-son relationship, plus Harley from IM3 will be in A4 too. They both are like Tony's adopted kids and their bond has been explored in previous movies and there's much deeper emotional connection. Adding an unknow character for more unnecessary dramatical effect I think is stupid.

(4) So much will be going on in this movie and so many characters are already involved, they should focus on already existing relationship and storylines than adding more and more new people. Anyway, just wanted to know your thoughts on this rumor. Thank you for your time.

ANSWER: Well - there are always a lot of rumors that fly around in advance of hotly anticipated movies, and I hesitate to either believe in them fully or dismiss them fully. Jeremy Conrad sort of makes a living -- or at least an avocation that gets him press passes into premieres and etc. -- posting, blogging and vlogging about the MCU, so it would seem he has a modicum of credibility to protect, or else people wouldn’t follow him. So his posts are probably more legit than most.

I don’t know that I’d believe what he says absolutely whole-heartedly, because the PTB at the MCU are probably tossing out red herrings galore to mislead the fan media as well as the mainstream media -- and why would they not? It’s been happening at least since the infamous “Serpent Society” feint thrown by none other than Feige himself, so we KNOW they will boldfaced LIE to protect the secrecy of what’s upcoming. They are quite adept at doing it -- and you know what? I don’t blame them. It’s all in fun, no one is hurt because of it (except people with egg on their faces who believe the misleads...*cough*thosewhostillbelieveSerpentSocietywasanActualThing*cough*) and it does protect the storylines from being spoiled months in advance. This is actually to protect us and our enjoyment of the movie. Who wants it spoiled?? I may be gnawing off my own arm by May in dread and anticipation of what will happen -- and particularly what will happen to Tony -- but that doesn’t mean I want the whole thing spoiled in advance.

What THAT being said, well, what do I feel IF it’s true that Katherine Langford is being cast as Tony and Pepper’s grown-up daughter, perhaps in another dimension or time or quantum realm?

Well -- first, brilliant casting. She’s a smart, articulate actress (as we know from “Thirteen Reasons Why”) and I could see her as Tony and Pepper’s daughter.

And second - I guess I’m...ambivalent?...about it. As in, I don’t know enough about it yet to be able to form an opinion. We just don’t have the facts yet.

Look at it this way -- IF the storyline sees fit to go backward or forward in time, or to leap dimensions or quantum strings or whatever, then they’re doing that for a reason. If we’re seeing Tony’s grown-up child in one quantum reality, maybe we’ll be seeing different realities for the other Avengers, too, so they’ll all be in the same boat.

This has been a science fiction/fantasy trope forever -- the “what if?” alternate reality. Does it mean that it’s “real” in the fictional real world we’ve come to know and love in the MCU? Well - it’s real in that other dimension/time/realm. But quantum physics and string theory tell us that there may be infinite “realities” out there -- almost anything we can imagine. If Tony has a grown-up daughter in one reality, he may have a grown-up son or sons in another, or no kids at all in another, or he may be with another woman other than Pepper.

What if all the OG Avengers get to be in a position to CHOOSE which “reality” they want to stay in, and that’s how they end their current stories in the MCU, opening the way for the new Avengers? IF the “realities” are like string theory, and what happens in one can’t affect what happens in the others, then maybe they might get to choose. Maybe it will be like a temptation dangled in front of them: to stay in a peaceful reality with no alien invasions and no Thanos snap. Would Steve want to go back to his WWII reality and marry Peggy? Would Natasha want to go back pre-Red Room and make different choices? Would Tony want to peacefully stay with Older Pepper and his grown daughter? (And would they be somehow taking the place of the Steve or Nat or Tony who are already THERE in those realities? And how would THAT work? Lots of questions...!

But -- quantum physics is a very, very, VERY weird universe (I’ve written several articles about new discoveries in quantum physics, so take it from me...! It’s freaking WEIRD...!!), and the potentialities in the MCU’s “Quantum Realm” are quite literally endless. The screenwriters could do anything with time or space or matter, and quantum physics would just say “Yeah -- could happen! Probably has -- or will! Or both!”

OR -- would these heroes choose instead to come back to their Thanos-threatened universe and stay and fight and save THEIR OWN universe and the time THEY come from? Now THAT would be a cool story.

But I guess what I’m trying to say is: we have to trust the screenwriters and the direction of the MCU. I don’t think they’ll be throwing a grown-up daughter into Tony’s life forever. It’s too much of a diversion from his hero journey, which is what I have to believe A4 will really be about. No screenwriter in their right mind would ignore the hero journey and give any of these heroes an “easy” way out -- nor would they ignore the compelling father-son relationship Tony has already built up with Peter Parker, or rob the audience of seeing them reunite. My guess would be that the daughter exists in one alternate timeline or quantum realm but not necessarily in the MCU’s main timeline. She’s just a potential, not a given in this reality. So I wouldn’t get too worked up about it.

Bottom line: I am GUESSING. Which, of course, we all are.

By the way, I do agree with you about the “so much is going on” and “so many characters are involved.” I’ve felt that way since after the first Avengers movie. I thought then that there were SO many adventures and stories that the Original Six could have had, as they got to know each other better and began to work together like a well-oiled team. And it still annoys me that we were pretty much robbed of that when the MCU decided to lard in more and more Avengers (who really weren’t needed) while the Avengers we already KNEW and loved got short-shrifted on their storylines. Yes, it’s true that the comics lard in more and more Avengers and that the team has shifted and morphed many times on the comics page. But that’s the COMICS, which have endless time to spin out their stories -- months and years -- and a very limited audience. Movies are different. Movie storylines need to play out in two-plus hours a couple of times a year, if we’re lucky -- and with the Avengers as a team, more like two-plus hours two or three years apart. In front of a mass world audience.

Honestly, I felt like we JUST MET the O6 Avengers, and were barely just getting to know them and how they worked as a team -- and then suddenly all these new characters flooded in during AOU and CACW (and yeah, some of them were and are great -- especially Spider-Man and T’Challa. And some were just, and still are, unnecessary...and you can probably guess which ones I mean...). And THEN on top of all the hero-crowding, they decide to have the VILLAIN (Thanos) get all kinds of screentime, when what we wanted was more screentime for the heroes...

Anyway, don’t get me started on the overcrowding of characters and the sacrificing of the movie storylines we have for the “good” of the upcoming MCU. I can say “trust the screenwriters,” but they done us wrong more than once, so there’s that. So I guess my reaction of “ambivalent” is probably the right one. So far. Not that there’s anything we can do about anything - so, bring it on. (Fan fiction heals many wounds, just saying...) This is just my 2 cents’ worth; other opinions may vary!

#MCU #Avengers 4 #Tony Stark #A4 #speculation #commentary #ask #opinion

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woohooligancomics · 6 years ago

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Webcomic Whimsy: Tame

Welcome to the Woohooligan Weekly Webcomic Whimsy! If you're a webcomic author and would like a review, you can see my announcement and review rules here.

Title: Tame

Author: Tailzkip (of the illegibile signiature :P) • Patreon • Facebook • Twitter • DeviantArt • YouTube

Site: Webtoon (some earlier chapters are also on Tapas where I read them)

Genres: Horror, Modern, Black Comedy, Drama(?), Action(?), demon rules-lawyering, young people make the worst decisions

Rating: PG, T for Teen(?) - some violence

Updates: 15 page chapters at a time (I assume not every week)

My Starting Point (requested by artist): Beginning

Synopsis (from Webtoon): Kioshi lost everyone close to him during an explosion at his school's festival and ever since he has had the ability to see demons. With his demon Nekeo at his side, Kioshi must make it through the grieving process and move forward in his life.

Tame seems like an interesting concept. A demon growing to love the guy who's passive-agressively trapping him into a contract that the guy doesn't even give a shit about... It's sort of like where Anime meets one of those Life Time movies about someone struggling with addiction or alcoholism. The characters seem to be trapped in cycles of horrible decisions that endanger, hurt, and even kill themselves and everyone around them, and have no notable benefit to compensate for all the destruction (at least as far as I can tell from what i've read)... but with a healthy dose of PUN-ishing comedy.

If you enjoy manga, demons and black comedy, I think it's worth a look!

Oh, look! A big bowl of foreshadowing!

Well so far we're only seeing one shape and size, which appears to be a cat with some kind of alien parasite on the end of it's tail? Seems like these three panels could have been condensed and not taken up a whole page.

The start still feels a little sluggish, but we're getting somewhere... mass murder in the diner and the waiter, Kioshi, is blaming it on a demon, and presumably (since he's off camera) the police investigator is humoring him instead of just sending him away for the padded-room guys to deal with.

Wait... is the cop a demon? Why do we only get to see part of his face surrounded by blood spatters? Is Kioshi tripping balls? That would explain a lot. Plus he seems pretty balsy for the prime suspect in a mass murder while being a waiter... how's he going to pay for his legal defense? Big tippers in his town?

"I didn't mean literally."

Is he not a waiter? If not, then why was he wearing a bloody apron? He swiped it off a waiter when the shooting started? Didn't want blood on his nicely wrinkled, untucked shirt?

Okay! We went from "parked car" speed to "is time dilating?" in about two pages flat. Not that I mind it picking up speed, but it's a little whiplashy. And I feel a flashback coming on.

Flasbhack. Called it! Ow, the whiplash! No information in this page outside of the fact that buildings are on fire and demon kid's got some weird hair.

That's a pretty weird way to define a contract... "Hey Humpty, gimme a hot-dog with extra relish! ... Damnit, I entered into a demon contract AGAIN!"

Greedy? It's not like he asked for extra relish... but I guess that slave-form thing is pretty convenient for Kioshi.

I don't think anyone can figure out what that is... Alien invasion? The world's largest hula-hoop?

A special summons from a corrupt monk... damn, that was my next guess.

Sooo... he's faster and a better escape artist in his slave form than his true form? That's a pretty lousy slave if the slave form is harder to control.

I see the part where the demon is becoming tame has started... he violated one of the "demons will not..." clauses at the beginning by moving in with Kioshi. So if this is true to form, the rest of the series is Nekeo violating one of those things every chapter or so.

And there we have it, the whole hunt-down the terrorists thing is a McGuffin to give Kioshi a reason to keep a mass-murdering demon around, because... he's cute, in a mass-murdery sort of way.

Did I say cute mass-murderer? I meant cut mass-murderer bent on destroying any hope you have of happiness in this life or the next. So... Kioshi is a clinically depressed massochist who won't settle for a regular cat, because why have that when you could have people dropping dead around you on the daily, yo?

Is he "SO DEAD!" Or "sooo... dead"? I'm getting the sense Kioshi is also bi-polar.

Wait... the demon Nekeo has horrible eldritch powers that helped you escape the collapse of a burning building, and later murder a diner full of people... but not so much keeping him from catching the flu? Like... when it comes to medical, I've got an upper hand over this demon because I have Purell.

I always bake using antifreeze... it's the only way to keep the cookies soft in the frozen tundra.

I dunno... doesn't seem like it's the cat-demon that needs to pick up on things.

You know he can hear you, right? He's still a cat.

She's served for generations and she's fine, but Nekeo needs to jump from contract to contract and 3 years is too long... hmmm... Also, this Konno kid is way too smarmy for a 14 yr old.

This starts a short action sequence where this Kireina demon-girl is all blood-lust trying to kill Nekeo, so Kioshi and Nekeo are running to try and get away until Konno confusingly stops her, which he said he couldn't do.

And right on schedule, Nekeo violates the 2nd list item at the end of chapter two.

That's the end of my hour of reading after two chapters, and whatever happened to that cop with the ghost face? What about the murderous grandma next door? So many questions.

One other thing I'll mention is that as I was reading, I forgot that Kioshi is supposed to be grieving a loss of family and friends. It's really not mentioned IN the story, just in the synopsis. The only thing that comes close is the mention of the terrorist attack and the collapse of the building, but that scene only describes the creation of the contract with Nekeo, it doesn't give any backstory or insight into Kioshi's mental state. Some mention of the family and friends he lost (presumably in the terrorist attack) in the story would likely help explain why his behavior is so self-destructive.

While there's a fair amount that could use improvement in the first couple chapters, I think the concept has some potential. If you enjoy manga, demons and black comedy, give it a read!

If you are a webcomic author and are interested in a review from me, you can check out my announcement and my review-request rules here.

If you enjoyed this and want to help me make more reviews, you can contribute on our Patreon or if you're short on funds you can also help by checking out and sharing my own comedy and laughtivist webcomic, Woohooligan!

Thank you for sharing yourself with us! Sam

#webcomic #review #manga #horror #black comedy

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timeisacephalopod · 7 years ago

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1, 4, 5, 8, 9

Oh gosh, I’m so sorry these questions turned into essays D:

1. What was the first Marvel film you’ve ever watched?

The Avengers, and I didn’t like it lmao. I was like… seventeen maybe? A friend had worked really hard to get me to watch it and I found it boring. A big problem was Steve- I just found him boring and I had no context for Tony or the rest of the Avengers so I was like ok, superhero people do shit. Boring. When I got into it later (starting with the First Avenger) the film made more sense to me and felt less bleh minus Steve, but that’s because Whedon can’t fucking write him for shit not because of the character.

4. Who’s your favourite Marvel superhero and why?

Boi if you don’t know Tony Stark is my fav then I don’t know what to tell ya lol. But I’m assuming you asked for the why not the who. So as a general thing I don’t like heroes. They’re all ‘we do the right thing always because we’re The Most Morally Correct Always’. Its not relatable- I’m straight up not that good of a person, no one is in my opinion, and their stories all follow the same boring arcs (Steve Rogers fits this personality type and arc very well post skinny!Steve until the latest MCU movies. But Superman is another very good example, and to a lesser extent Harry Potter too).

Point is these characters don’t interest me because A- I can’t relate to being The Best Ever, B- they’re fucking boring and invite zero conflict or character development if they’re already perfect, and C- their villains tend to have way more interesting backstories, motivations, and character arcs. Also villains tend to be coded as minorities (ie, Ursula from The Little Mermaid being based of a drag queen) so between the more interesting arcs, personalities, conflicts, and minority coded status I’ve always preferred the villain. I can relate to Magneto, who has a terrible goal but for a heartbreaking and even understandable reason. I understand him in a way I can never understand a Superman type. He’s an anti-hero I know, but villains are always more interesting because their motivation isn’t always Its The Right Thing with no other explanation as to why or how its right, which could be compelling but isn’t ever written. And villains never start on a basis of perfection, effectively killing any and all development of character.

And then I watched Iron Man. Not only is Tony Stark a fucking disaster and a high functioning one at that, but he’s not always a good person. Its not that he means to hurt people, but he does, and then he learns. He makes mistakes, he sometimes doesn’t see it right away, and when he does he tries not to repeat his behavior to avoid making those mistakes again. Tony is the first hero I’ve seen that’s not supposed to be an anti-hero that does this. For the first time I got to watch a hero that isn’t perfect, but he’s trying to do good even when he fails at it. Then he tries and tries again. Heroes never get those arcs because they tend to be built on perfection, but Tony is what a hero would look like in the real world- he’s tangible.

Not only that but there’s so much about him that I find relatable beyond his general hero arc. He’s sort of an asshole because its easier to hold people at an arms length than it is to let people in, he has trust issues, daddy issues, mental health problems that people don’t necessarily see, and he hides his true nature under sarcasm and jokes. These are all traits I find in myself too, but ones I don’t typically find in heroes, not to the extent they’re written with Tony anyways. Again Tony is the first hero I’ve ever come across who has personality traits that don’t always translate to ‘perfect person all the time no matter what’. He’s a regular man with a real world personality trying his best even if he does have exaggerated traits (like his intelligence, especially, which is where most of his heroism extends from). And underneath all that he’s compassionate, caring, and generous not that he allows people to see that often.

TL;DR: Tony Stark is the first hero I saw with an actual personality you’d find in the real world and he isn’t always perfect, which i found relatable and compelling.

5. Who’s your least favourite Marvel superhero and why?

This is actually a pretty hard question. There are plenty of MCU characters I care about very little, and some I like a lot but hate the way they’re handled, and some that are just fucking irrelevant so I’ll list 3 for 3 different reasons.

1- Clint Barton. I read Matt Fraction’s Hawkeye (and some of his other work- check him out!) and loved Hawkeye. Then I watched shit ass MCU Hawkeye and he’s a fucking OC with Clint’s name. He’s an asshole, his motivations make no sense, I don’t like Jermey Renner as a person or an actor, and I fucking hated that family in Age of Ultron because it makes no sense and doesn’t fit into the rest of the universe. So I like Clint, but not fuckin MCU Clint because nothing about him makes sense.

2- Wanda. I love what she could be and her powers are so compelling and unlike most Tony fans I sympathize with her wanting him dead (but don’t understand why she chose him over the people who dropped the bomb, the terrorists in her country, or at least doesn’t hold blame in other wider structures that influenced her parent’s death like military personal, the POTUS, etc). Anyways- I like what Wanda could be, but not what she is. She whines and cries about being treated like a child while simutaniously throwing a temper tantrum, apparently doesn’t put as much or potentially even more blame on Viz for being complicit in Tony’s (shitty- no excuse for this) choice to keep her on the compound all because romance angle? And while I sympathize with her not wanting to hurt Viz in IW, that’s a horrible position to be in, I don’t understand why she didn’t at least try and feel out a solution to save him while also destroying the stone until they made Shuri do it. One person you care about versus half the universe? That’s fucking harsh, I’d never want to be there, but I’m certain I could never be that selfish. So I lose someone I care about, half the universe doesn’t get to feel the same way. That’s a win.

There’s a lot about her I do like though, and I’ll explore that again out of the context of World War Me, but as she stands her motivations and character actions don’t make a lot of sense to me and it feels contrived just for plot points. She gets the shit end of the stick and I’m convinced its linked to misogyny- its not like characters who aren’t women get shunted like that Bruce Banner aside (one time versus Wanda’s entire character story).

3- Steve Rogers. Now don’t get me wrong, in the recent movies he’s gone through some development- in CW he didn’t even have an argument, he dropped his shield for Bucky, and then when he shows back up his speech to Ross is such a fuckin asshole thing to say/ do and its so disrespectful (and the fact that I care what he says to ROSS is saying something, but that’s due to the wider implications and the fact that Steve would 100% say that to him pending alien invasion or no, not because its an emergency that influences why I even care). Anyways- his negative development is actually interesting! He is a character based in perfection and he’s gotten this amazing storyline that’s made him selfish and sometimes also callus and cruel. That’s compelling, and his motivations! Amazing!

There’s so much the MCU can do with a man who can’t adjust to the future, has PTSD, and doesn’t know how to handle being in a moral situation that doesn’t have a clear right answer- and it shows. To me these things are interesting, sometimes noble, and profoundly selfish in a way that actually makes a lot of sense considering the context and is a super interesting take on a character that’s usually Perfect And Right All The Time. But instead of actually exploring his motivations, actions, and negative character development the MCU AND the fans treat him as this perfect dude who can do no wrong. This is fucking stupid- the guy is on a downward spiral into who fuckin knows what and instead of exploring this loss of identity, morality, and sense of self he’s treated as the moral compass! Are you fucking kidding me! This shit is so much more compelling than just making the dude right because you’re too fucking lazy to actually write him an argument and a reason behind it. And not acknowledging his negative development and giving me an interesting story (finally) about a hero who’s always been perfect and just shoving him back into his Morally Perfect Always™ role instead of exploring him in new, compelling ways personally victimizes me. So fuck the MCU for that and fuck the idiot fans (god that’s bitter, sorry) who think he’s a true moral compass when at this point none of them are- and that’s ok. That’s interesting to explore, creates conflict, and creates story.

This just makes me want to write a character study of Steve tbh. Maybe I will. He’ll actually get to go on a journey of his negative development then, and then come back from it in a meaningful way rather than just handed the Being Right Award that the lazy writers gave him.

Another TL;DR- Clint sucks because he sucks, but Steve and Wanda could have been so much more if the writers weren’t jackasses.

8. Who’s the strongest Avenger?

Wanda lmao. No argument there, the only one who even stood a chance against her is Vision and she put him down easily too. Which is why I think she’s so interesting, but no, she gets handed stupid contrived storylines based in a romance no one cares about instead of exploring her power, origin story, motivations, and further development.

But yeah, no arguing that she’s the strongest Avenger as far as raw power goes.

9. Any underrated Avenger? Any overrated Avenger?

Underrated avenger: Rhodey my dudes. First of all he’s a decently fleshed out, interesting character. Then you have this interesting background of him knowing the military isn’t really perfect but still maintaining his interest in the military and being complicit in some of its actions, which I think is super compelling and I’d like the MCU to explore that further. Plus you’ve got his intelligence in engineering, his strategical genius, his loyalty, his compassion- he’s just a great dude. He’s sassy too, which is always a plus. But then you get these weird moments in the MCU where they go back on his characterization- like in IM3 where he basically tells Tony to get over himself after a panic attack. That’s so OOC- firstly even if he’s never seen a panic attack (doubtful, in the military) he’s a naturally compassionate guy, and especially so to Tony. So where the fuck was that? You will never convince me that there’s a solid reason for that- he spent 3 fuckin months tracking his best friend down only to tell him to get over himself while having a panic attack? And what even WAS that scene in CW when Steve came back? And that scene where he was totes cool with Thor strangling Tony?

This poor man is so underrated the MCU contributes to his being underrated by using him as a plot device instead of an actual fuckin character (quite like Wanda, and they’re both minorities. Hmm). Anyways Rhodey does not get enough love, nor does his status as a hero outside of Tony get enough love, NOR does his friendship with Tony get enough love, and his potential romantic connections with Tony also don’t get enough love. His sass, compassion, and his interesting participation in a system he knows doesn’t always to the right thing, and occasional complicity in this, also doesn’t get enough love. And the MCU can eat my turds for ignoring who he is as a character just to use him as a plot device.

Overrated character- Ok this is gunna be so mean lmao I love him so much I swear but Bucky. Why the this is this bland ass white dude with 3 half personality traits and literally nothing outside of Steve’s character even liked? He is the male Sharon Carter and honestly that’s unfair to Sharon because she at least has SHIELD and spying as personal interests, what the fuck does Bucky have? HYDRA control, which is literally nothing. He’s almost never an active character, he’s barely even constructed as a character, and has nothing outside of Steve to make him compelling at all.

He is objectively so fucking bland that a couple days ago I realized that when I write Bucky I’m taking his 3 traits from the MCU and literally constructing an OC because Bucky is nowhere near developed enough as a character to even write. He’s also a plot device and used as motivation for Steve. Poor dude doesn’t even have interests outside Steve. How he got to be so massively popular, including to me, I have no idea because objectively speaking he is one of the least interesting characters in the MCU- its everyone else around him that makes his story interesting. Seriously. If Steve wasn’t his friend and Tony’s parents weren’t his parents would we even care about him at all?

A good character still stands if you take the people around them away- take that away from Bucky and his story loses all meaning because it isn’t important to Bucky, its important to the people around him. Like his story is sad, but the emotional impact of what happens to him doesn’t even come from us caring about him, it comes from us caring about the people around him. Granted people are overly attached to him so it worked out in the MCU’s favor and the writers won’t need to make him an active, interesting protagonist because people read into him finding things that aren’t there, and seriously I swear I love Bucky, but he really is a stale, uninteresting character if I actually examine him on his own rather than in the wider context of the events he’s a part of.

TL;DR- love Rhodey you heathens, and while I love Bucky I don’t know why because he isn’t interesting if you look at his story on its own due to its complete lack of emotional impact on him rather than the characters around him.

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robininthelabyrinth · 7 years ago

Text

Heatwave for President

Fic: Heatwave for President (ao3 link)

Fandom: Flash, DC's Legends of Tomorrow Pairing: Mick Rory/Leonard Snart

Summary: Mick Rory will go down in history for being the first person to start his campaign for President of the United States by saying, "I really don't want to do this, but seriously, look at my opponent."

A/N: Birthday present for @oneiriad! Happy birthday!

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"Do you have any regrets about the process?" the reporter asks as they all stare at the giant television showing the projected results as the exit polls start trickling in from the states. "Anything you would change?"

"What kind of question is that?" Iris mutters under her breath.

Mick - to whom the question had been directed - hums for a moment. "I think - the time travel," he says. "That bit. Wouldn't do it."

The reporter frowns. "But wasn't it your association with the, quote, 'Legends of Tomorrow' that originally propelled you on your current path towards politics and, eventually, your present run for President?"

"Yeah," Mick says glumly. "Exactly."

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Technically, it's a bit more complicated than that.

First, of course, there was the Flash. Everything always starts there - oh, shut up with your stupid 'Green Arrow was first' bullcrap, no one cares that he was first because he was just some weird serial killing vigilante to start off with, and anyway barely anyone outside of Starling (Star City, whatever) knew about it - because it was by watching the Flash's epic battles with what have come, retrospectively, to be known as his "Rogues" that Mick first became famous. He even had his own action figure, which most people running for president could only imagine happening in relation to political satire.

Of course, back then they called him Heatwave.

Then Snart - that's Captain Cold to you, reporter - had the bright idea of hooking up with some time travelers for a lark. Mick hadn't thought much of the idea at the time, even tried to quit a few times - quit with prejudice, one might say, and there'd been that whole Kronos business that you're not finding out any more about, the news media already knows more than Mick would like on the subject - and it hadn't taken.

And then Snart died.

Yes, Mick is perfectly aware that Snart's back now, but for a while there he'd been absolutely and totally convinced that he was gone for good (he was dead - how was Mick supposed to know that it hadn't fully taken?!) and it'd been pretty shattering.

That was the period with the Legends. Saving history, fucking up history, all of that.

Yes, that's when he met Georgie Washington. Stop asking about it. Mick's already told you all he knows.

No, he refuses to go get him for the Inauguration, should it happen! The guy didn't even like politics towards the end of it! Leave Georgie alone!

Okay, maybe a dinosaur. Mick makes no promises.

Well, yeah. He guesses it would be pretty cool to ride to the White House on a dinosaur. You might have a point there.

Anyway, where was he? Oh, right, the Legends. Anyway, when the first alien attack came - the Dominators - Mick was there with the Legends. It was a state secret and all that at the time; that's when he got a pardon for everything he'd previously been involved with. Very hush-hush, though how the pres was planning on keeping the details of how a nation- or world-wide invasion was defeated a secret is anyone's guess. Sure, keep it a secret from the American media, that's one thing, but those British tabloids are vicious weasels that will stop at nothing.

Okay, yeah, Mick taking a selfie with a downed Dominator and posting it to Instagram - instantly making it one of the only good pictures anyone had of the damn things, which were resistant to being recorded on any type of media unless you did some special adjustments to the settings, like, say, the sort Gideon did automatically when upgrading their camera phones, and by sheer scarcity thereby became famous worldwide as the definitive Dominator photo - probably didn't help with the whole secrecy thing.

Hell yeah Mick's going to put a copy of that in the White House if he wins, you kidding? That picture won photo of the year, and that was the year of the solar eclipse, so it had some pretty stiff competition.

Anyway, yeah, that's how Mick's rep started shifting from supervillain to - you know what, let's just avoid any use of the terms 'superhero' (Mick is not) or 'hero' (also not).

Good guy?

Ugh. Fine. Out of lack of better options.

Anyhoo, that's when the buzz started, y'know? A couple of pranksters - whose names shall remain nameless but who know exactly who they are, Barry Allen and Cisco Ramon - uh, that last part's off the record - anyway, these fucking assholes decided to start up a fake Super PAC called 'Heatwave for President'.

Yeah, Mick knows it was just meant as a contrast to the current incumbent. Sort of a "if this idiot can become president, why not Heatwave the famous supervillain" sort of deal. Mick's cool with that. It was a funny joke and, yeah, the incumbent was worse than useless. You'd think getting the job when your predecessor was shot by aliens would give them the sympathy vote, at least for a bit, but wow did they blow it. Who the fuck tries to kill health care for kids as their first official push in action? Seriously, who?

Yeah, you can definitely write that down. “Mick Rory still ticked off about asshole move”. Honestly, just keep that handy for copy-paste purposes, it’s probably going to be relevant a lot in the future.

What? No, Mick hadn’t thought about running for office as far back as the whole joke Super PAC thing. Mick was traveling through space and time at that time. Keep your chronology straight. If Mick can do it – and, again, not to over-emphasize this, but do you know how hard it is to keep track of time on a time-traveling spaceship? – then you can do it when you've got your feet firmly set down on planet earth in a consistent timeline.

So yeah, things were going along that way, Mick with the Legends, going around, doing shit, messing shit up, fighting with people. The whole thing wasn't exactly all sunshine and roses, but they did well enough. Well, they managed to keep the timeline more or less intact, at least.

No, you wouldn’t know it if they’d failed. Time doesn’t work that way.

No, the current incumbent isn’t a result of a horrific failure by time travelers to prevent an evil catastrophe from –

Huh. You know what, Mick’s not going to give a definitive answer on that one. Just assume that if the Legends had failed, things would be even worse.

No comment on North Korea. Just – no comment. Ever.

Yes, ever.

The Legends are on it, okay?!

Not the point Mick was trying to get at here. More what he was trying to get at is – Len. Snart. Captain Cold.

Fuck it, Mick's just calling him Len for the rest of this interview -

Yes, thank you Len, your commentary that you are “always the point” is incredibly helpful here.

Fucking drama queens.

Anyway.

That's about when it turns out (or rather, when they all discover) that Len didn’t, in fact, die – or maybe he did, and it got reversed, or something like that – and he ended up in a different universe. Fighting Nazis.

Listen, if there’s one thing that Mick’s going to take a permanent never-gonna-change-it-no-matter-what-new-evidence-appears-no-matter-what position on, it’s gonna be Nazis. Mick fucking hates Nazis.

Yes, neo-Nazis count.

Yes, they have a First Amendment right to free speech, meaning no government oppression.

Yes, Mick realizes that means he’ll have to stop punching them all the time if he gets elected President. It’s okay. He’s sure that some fine, upstanding people will take up the slack and keep on the good work for him.

Listen, if Super PACs are “sufficiently unrelated” to a presidential campaign to raise money on behalf of some asshole – and yes, Mick’s counting himself here – then the Nazi-Punching Party which endorsed Mick and which he may or may not go to regular meetings of is “sufficiently unrelated” for the purposes of government oppression of free speech. You get me?

Fine, Mick will probably stop attending meetings.

Probably.

Len can still go, though, right?

See, Lenny, you can still go. Bring a goddamn camera.

Fuck, being President is going to be no fun at all. Why is he doing this again?

Oh, right, because the World’s Worst Caricature is running for office and the Legends and Gideon have all agreed that letting that guy get elected would literally mean the end of the world. That’s it, kaput, no more history, everyone’s all back to using sticks to write in the dirt again – what weird mutated creatures are left over anyway.

Ugh.

Trust Mick, you don't want to see the things Mick has seen. It's bad.

Mick would like it known that he does not approve of things going in a political drama-slash-mutated creature sort of way. Sci-fi was always more Len’s things. Mick prefers ninjas.

Yeah, that meeting with Tokyo’s Prime Minister went awesomely, why do you ask?

Shut up, Len. There was some discussion of policy; it wasn’t all about what classic ninja movie was the best. Though the last five hours were definitely all movie marathon. Not gonna lie.

Where was he?

Right, Len. Fighting Nazis. Terrible nearly world-ending invasion of the present Earth by the Nazi forces of that Earth, including the superhero and meta equivalents, repelled only by the combined forces of basically everybody.

Len and Mick teamed up to save the day, just like old times.

Okay, old times, they teamed up to steal things. Basically the same thing.

Listen, Nazis from another dimension invaded. That trumps everything.

For anyone other than the current incumbent, anyway. Fuckhead.

Yes, that’s on the record.

What? What the fuck is “Presidential decorum”? Listen, you, unlike you, Mick’s actually met George Washington, and if you think that every three words he uttered wasn’t some variation of ‘fuck’, ‘shit’, or ‘damn’, then that’s just because you’re reading the cleaned up history version. He was a soldier. And before he was a soldier, he was a surveyor, which as far as Mick can tell means “walked out into the forest with a compass and came back out hating bears”, and if that doesn’t make a man swear, then nothing will.

No comment on whether or not Mick hooked up with him.

Just give up. You’re never going to get a comment.

So while everybody else was being scared shitless at how the Nazis from another dimension – and yeah, Mick’s perfectly aware that the usual term is “another Earth”, but fuck it, “another dimension” sounds like a crappy 1950s sci-fi “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes” and makes Len grin every time, so Mick’s sticking with it – were invading, especially when they got all the white supremacists on this Earth to join up with them, taking advantage of all those so-easy gun laws to arm up into an actual local army, the current incumbent decided to throw a temper tantrum because the attention wasn’t 100% focused on them for five fricking minutes.

Also, Mick’s pretty sure they’re actually not-so-secretly a Nazi supporter. All that talk of cooperating and seeing what they have to say and how they were “good people” – total fucking crap, obviously. That asshole was probably disappointed when Mick and Len had their Moment of Awesome sending them all back to where they came, right into the trap Len’d been setting up with the other resistance forces on that Earth.

Either way, as everyone knows, as soon as the Nazis were gone, the next thing the current incumbent decided to do was push a horrible law outlawing any metahumans – and they defined metahumans in the stupidest possible way, and all because they wanted it to cover people who actually didn’t have any powers like Len and Mick, which didn’t even make sense – and trying to make Earth-1 full on fascist.

Yeah, fascist. They put lots of fancy words and stuff – no, that’s not right, their speechwriters put fancy words and stuff around it, but that law was – is – fucking dystopia nightmare fuel right there, okay?

Listen, Mick literally has someone from 2042 going around and testifying to how awful that law makes literally everything. What more evidence do you fucking need?

So, yeah. Horrible future. World's Worst Caricature running for office, almost certain to pass it if they get in.

And that means -

Someone was gonna have to man up (woman up? non-gender up? human up? wait, is the last one specieist?) to stop it.

Now, you’d think the other party would do something about that, wouldn’t they? But noooo, they decide to shoot themselves in the foot by nominating some old geezer taking a hard line about how everything’s going to change now that everyone’s “together” – never mind the details, togetherness is what’s important, right guys? the movement's gonna fix everything! because it's a revolution! of feelings! Of all the dumbass hippie-dippie crap... – and coming up with increasingly more stupid ideas that wouldn't work. Doesn't matter, of course, Mick was all set to vote for the fucker anyway, along with everyone else, just to keep Worst Caricature outta office, but no. See, then, three fucking months before the election, the asshole gets found out to be corrupt as fuck! Except he won’t resign and let anyone else run! And his fanboys have made their way into the levers of power, so the party can’t kick him out, either! And all the goddamn ballots have already gone to the printers!

That’s how this whole thing really got started, you know. Three fucking months, and the only other person who’d been entered to run for President in all 50 states before the deadline passed is – you guessed – Heatwave for President.

Fucking hell.

At the time, the entire freaking organization was being run by the people who now make up Mick’s circle of advisors – Felicity Smoak, Oliver Queen, Barry Allen, Cisco Ramon, Caitlin Snow, and Iris West – because they’d all thought it was freaking funny or something, and everyone suddenly had to change gears real fast to try to make it into an actual thing.

Not that anyone thought it would work. You know, they just thought - might as well give it a try. Can't just roll over and give in; gotta go for the Hail Mary pass if that's all that's left to you.

No one actually thought it would work.

At least, no one thought it would work until the polls started changing. First time they polled it, Mick got, like, 5%.

Second time they polled it, he got 30%.

Now he’s somewhere near 50%.

Jesus.

If Mick wins, Mick’s taking a weekend to go sit quietly in a room and hyperventilate for, like, an hour.

Thanks for the hug, Len. Means a lot; Mick knows very well how much you hate public displays of affection. Or emotion. Or anything but drama, drama, drama.

Huh? Yeah, Len and Mick are partners. They’ve always been upfront and clear about that.

No – no – partners.

Yes, criminal partners. But also, you know, partner partners. If you get what Mick’s saying.

Oh, for fuck’s sake, they’re married. Len’s going to be the First Supervillain or whatever they call it when it’s a guy.

What do you mean, nobody…? It’s fucking legal and everything! Central City’s Hall of Records has a copy of the goddamn certificate!

…oh, okay, yeah. Fair point. Can’t even imagine the type of backlog you’d have to go through to get Central City bureaucracy to do anything, much less respond to a freaking FOIA request. They'll probably get around to responding to it sometime in the 2030s.

You mean people really didn’t know?

Huh.

Well, that’s gonna surprise a lot of people, then.

First ever non-straight resident of the White House? Don’t be ridiculous. Haven’t you met Lincoln?

Right. Not everyone time travels. Sorry, keep forgetting.

Yes, Mick’s met Lincoln.

No, Mick’s not going to comment on if he hooked up with him, either. Jesus. Stop asking.

Why hadn’t Mick mentioned meeting Lincoln before? Because it wasn’t important? It never came up!

It’s not like anyone asked for a listing of all the time eras he’s visited!

Of course the Legends never mentioned it; it wasn’t when Mick was with them. It was during his Kronos period. Listen, it’s a long story, okay? And they’re getting close to actually starting to yell out states, so maybe everyone should pay attention to that instead.

Yes, Mick is totally aware that he’s being weaselly. He’s a politician now. He’s allowed to be weaselly sometime.

What’s everyone got against weasels, anyway? Perfectly nice animals.

Mick has a pet rat, you know. If Mick wins – yes, he’s still using fucking “if”, nothing gets decided until we hit Ohio and Florida, Iris – does that make Ratigan the First Pet or something now?

Is there a First Pet position?

Wait, there is? Kickass.

Never been a rat before? So what? Mick’s got nothing against dogs, you know, but he doesn’t have a dog. He has a rat. People will just have to deal.

Heh. Not Mick’s fault you don’t know what part of this interview you should make the headline.

…thank you, Len, he’s not going to go with “Bisexual Rat-Owner Wins Presidency; Husband Approves”.

No, “President-Elect Uses ‘Fuck’ More Often In Last-Minute Interview Than Any Prior Candidate” isn’t a good choice either, Iris. Probably historically inaccurate, too; LBJ was real big on the whole swearing thing - no comment on the hook-ups! Jesus!

What? No, Ramon, no one is running a headline that goes “Time Traveler Confirms Academic Suspicions Regarding Lincoln’s Sexuality”. No one cares!

Fine, maybe the history journals care. But no one else. Not like it’s a big deal. People can sleep with whoever they want.

Oh, it’s still a big deal in some ways? That sucks. Okay, that’s going on the agenda of things to do to fix in the next four years.

Eight years?

No.

Yes, he means it! Why the hell would he run for office twice? How bad can the next option be?!

And Sara just ran into the room. Please say that you’re not here to tell everyone that some horrible thing has happened in the future that –

Actually, never mind. Please be here to tell everyone that some horrible thing has happened in the future and that you desperately need everyone here to go take care of it immediately.

No?

Damn.

Wait.

What do you mean, Mick won?

Oh fuck.

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“So, what are you planning on doing now, Mr. President-Elect?” the reporter asks, beaming like a maniac, as the giant television shows the explosive celebrations occurring immediately outside – literally explosive, since Mick had insisted on bonfires and fireworks and at least four different pyrotechnics teams. “What’s your first move?”

"What kind of question is that?" Iris laughs as Barry swings her around. “We can worry about that tomorrow! Tonight we party!”

“The world is saved!” Cisco cheers.

“I’m doomed,” Mick says, his head rolling back. “They’re never gonna let me quit.”

“Probably not,” Len, who is perched right next to him, says to him, not without sympathy. “But it’s okay. I’ll do the work for you.”

“You’re the best, boss,” Mick says, not without feeling. “Why couldn’t you have been Vice President?”

“Because they can’t be in the same building for too long,” Len explains. "Meteorite strikes."

"Oh," Mick says glumly. "Right."

Len pats Mick’s arm comfortingly. “Don’t worry. There’s a long, storied precedent of First – uh, First Spouses – running the joint for their husbands.”

“Damn right there is,” Mick says, rubbing his face. “Thank god for Woodrow Wilson, that's all I'm saying - don't you even ask," he warns the reporter.

“Besides,” Len continues, sounding quite practical. “Sara makes a great Vice President. After all, if you die, who would you want to avenge your murder if not Sara?”

Mick nods.

“Um,” the reporter says, blinking at the two of them. “That’s…not what a Vice President does?”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“…moderately sure. I’ve been reporting on political matters for a long time now.”

“If it makes you feel better, I’m pretty sure she’s gonna let Jax, Stein and Ray do most of her work,” Len offers. “Even after all that trouble we had to go to in order to get her declared alive again…”

“It…really doesn’t,” the reporter says. “But thanks for the update?”

“No problem,” Len says. “C’mon, Mick. Let’s go watch things burn.”

Mick brightens and climbs to his feet.

“Hey,” Len asks the reporter, “you’re the politico here. Do Presidential spouses get immunity from prosecution?”

The reporter frowns. “Why?”

“No stealing stuff, Snart,” Barry says.

“Oh, fine.”

“For four years.”

“Wait, what?!”

"You're a role model now!"

"No! I refuse!"

"Too late now," Iris cackles.

Mick starts laughing. “Well,” he says, looping an arm around Len’s waist and dragging him towards the flame, Len’s face still frozen in a rictus of horror. “At least I won’t be the only one suffering!”

“Look on the bright side!” the reporter shouts after them. “Politicians are basically just thieves on a much larger scale!”

#dccoldwave #mick rory #leonard snart #my fic

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