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kylorengarbagedump · 3 months ago

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Playing Soldier: Chapter 7

Read on AO3. Part 6 here. Part 8 here.

Summary: The longest stay you've ever had from home is about to become much longer.

Words: 5000

Warnings: Medical trauma

Characters: William Tavington x Reader

A/N: Cowritten with @bastillia <3

Off we go into the field! We are loving your comments, your thoughts, your excitement and engagement in the story - truly, we are so lucky. I hope you continue to enjoy what we have planned for the future!!

Please credit all of Grace's letter to Bastillia and her genius. Also, please thank Bastillia for her newly formed fixation on the American Revolutionary War - it's because of this we can't help but bring in actual historical figures like they're our blorbos as well, HAHAHA. It's been a lot of fun learning about history and integrating it into the fic (even if The Patriot was not always hyper-concerned about this LOL)

Love you so much! <3

The letter was crisp, addressed in handwriting that swirled across the page like fairy dust. Grace’s penmanship, for certain—something you’d always envied when comparing it to yours, which bore more resemblance to cresting waves in a storm than anything meant for man’s eyes. It had been dated for a little over a week prior.

“Thank you,” you said to Goddard. “You said this was given to you by whom?”

“Major Ferguson,” he said, stepping further into the kitchen. Then, upon glimpsing your expression and perhaps realizing you couldn’t have possibly known who in God’s sweet Holiness that was, he continued bashfully, “The Major, er, commands another unit that was deployed into the backcountry. Lord Cornwallis ordered most of us to return here to Charleston about a day ago.”

You nodded, turning the paper over in your hands. “I see.” What you wanted to ask but didn’t: Does that include Colonel Tavington, then?

It’d been about two weeks since you’d last seen him in his office. You supposed he’d made good on his intention and set out from Charleston that evening. But he’d been in the field since then, and the status of your parole hung in the balance. Ghoulishly, a part of you had hoped he’d been killed in action. Perhaps even more ghoulishly, another, hungrier part of you had wished for him to return.

You’d tried to sate that part with nightly hand-feedings proffered between your legs—but still its appetite rose anew and greedy every morning.

“Who is it from?” said Lottie. “Your sister?” She peered over your shoulder, her red curls bouncing into her face.

Goddard gave a playful frown, running his hand through hair that matched his sister’s in color and texture. “I suppose I’m not offered a greeting?”

Lottie laughed, moving around you and throwing herself into his arms. “Welcome home, Benny.”

You grinned. “Yes,” you said. “It’s from Grace.” You peeled open the wax seal and started to read.

June 10 1780

My Dearest Sister,

Though I write this on only the sixth day since I bade you farewell, I feel it has been a lifetime. You will be glad to know that I was yesterday evening delivered home in most agreeable fashion by the company of a Major Ferguson, who attended to my utmost comfort and happiness the whole journey from Charlestown ; a great improvement, I say, upon the accommodations granted to me thence.

It has been made plain to me that the disruptions we endured, Sister, were the most unfortunate results of misunderstanding. A pity that though I beseech God to upend time, He does not heed me. Impossible notions vex and bedevil my sleep night upon night—would that I might stay Death’s hand before he took Mary and Nathaniel and Elijah and Adam. I can hardly bear to think of them, yet it is with shame and difficulty that I place my thoughts anywhere else.

In my most fitful hours on the road—

“I hate to interrupt,” said Goddard, very irritatingly interrupting. “But I fear the hospital may soon be teeming. We skirmished with militia on the road, and our field medic couldn’t attend every man.”

“Oh!” Lottie looked at you, her brown eyes wide with concern. “We should certainly go and help, then.”

You frowned. You were already feeling a little concerned about Grace’s inclination to Loyalist sympathy in the letter. “Can I not have ten more minutes?”

Goddard shook his head. “The colonel already wishes to depart this evening and needs every possible man made fit.”

So Tavington was back in Charleston. For now.

“Out again?” Lottie said. “But you all only just returned.”

“Yes.” Wincing, Goddard stepped past you both to grab a cloth hanging from the stove. As he wiped his face, he sighed. “Lord Cornwallis is holding a council of war. Colonel Tavington is in attendance with the other commanders, but he hopes to gather more cavalry and depart again by nightfall.” He looked apologetic. “You know how he is.”

You pursed your lips, folding the letter and stowing it in one of your skirt pockets. You know how he is, he’d said, as if everyone in the room all had the same experiences with Colonel Tavington, and everyone in the room all held the same opinion about his demeanor, body, face, hair, hands, and eyes.

And mouth.

“A council of war?” you asked, pushing thoughts of all of William Tavington’s body parts to a corner of your mind that you’d revisit in the evening. “What ever for? I thought the Continental army had left South Carolina.”

“Most of them,” said Goddard, plucking a peach from a bowl on the counter. “But they aren’t the problem. Evidently there’s been a disaster involving a group of Loyalists that the General sent north.” He bit into the fruit and sighed, savoring it.

“What sort of disaster?” Lottie asked, her eyes great dark pools of worry.

Goddard shrugged. “Men died,” he said around a mouthful of peach flesh before swallowing. “Lots of them. Don’t know the specifics. I expect we will be receiving new enlistment quotas, though, especially with these militia pestering us now.”

Lottie frowned. “Perhaps we should—”

“Have you had many encounters with militia?” you asked, your pulse picking up. “They seem to have amassed rather quickly.”

“Putting it lightly,” said Goddard, sighing. “Even with Charleston back under the Crown, it seems the rest of the colony remains determined to resist. We even found a small holdout of Continentals up the Santee.”

“Continentals?” you pressed, struggling to maintain a neutral facade. “I query why they would not have rejoined their forces in North Carolina by now.”

“Seems they received a dispatch following the Waxhaws battle, and stayed.” Goddard shrugged and took another bite of peach. “Tenacious, those men, I’ll admit as much.”

“I’m sure it’s all very interesting,” Lottie said, waving you toward her. “But if the hospital—”

“Did your forces engage them? How many were there?” You spoke just a little too quickly, but you were finding it harder to restrain yourself. “What was in the dispatch they received?”

Goddard raised a brow and glanced at Lottie. You consciously corrected your posture so that he might not think you liable to lunge at any moment. He relaxed.

“I, er, I can’t be certain what it said,” he replied. “I never saw the message.”

You exhaled in frustration. “I imagine you were unable to capture the messenger himself, then.”

“Actually, we were able,” Goddard said. Your heart leapt into your mouth. “Colonel Tavington became nigh on feverish in his pursuit.”

Your next question hung like a noose from your tongue, your body rigid as a gallows. “Who…” You swallowed. “Who was the messenger?”

Goddard furrowed his brow and shook his head, like he couldn’t fathom why you were so interested. “Some boy.” He waved his bitten peach through the air. “A… ‘Martin?’”

You nearly sagged in relief, instead bracing a hand against the kitchen table and affixing a passive expression to your face. “Oh.”

“The colonel made a…” Goddard winced, “compelling example of his family.” He paused, grimacing again. “And of their property.”

“I don’t want to hear of such dreadful things,” Lottie interjected. “Anyhow, we really must be off.” She grabbed your wrist. “Let us not stay the King’s men their care.”

“Yes, of course,” you said, forcing a nod. Though your worry was assuaged, your curiosity was very much not. You had, however, pushed both too far. “Let’s be off, then.”

The morning air was already ripening with heat, sticking to your tongue as you breathed it in. You were glad to be rid of your sling, sweltering thing that it was, before the summer’s wrath descended in full. In the smallest of ways, it was freeing. Even if your shoulder did still twinge with pain from time to time, it grew stronger each day. One less restraint upon your body. And one less reason for anyone to insist you couldn’t be of use.

You had welcomed the introduction of hospital labor into your routine. It hadn't been necessary, but staying in the Goddards’ home on your own only chafed your invisible shackles. Without a distraction, you imagined yourself as an anxious dog pacing in a barren cage. Working in the hospital also gave you the opportunity to collect information while wearing one of the most innocuous disguises available.

And besides all of that—you were good at it.

“I hate that the colonel keeps Benedict away so frequently as of late,” Lottie said as you followed her on the cobblestone. “I worry about him.”

You nodded. “I'm sure he worries about you, too.”

“I’m sure he does,” she said, sighing through her lips in a blubbering sound. “He knows I languish in his absence. It’s so difficult. The loneliness, I mean.”

“The loneliness?” You frowned. “You don’t keep busy?”

She laughed. “Of course I do! But it’s no replacement for companionship. Especially of family. You know as much.” With a playful smile, she added, “Benedict tells me it’s all the more reason for me to be married.”

“Is he pushing you to marry?”

“Not in so many words,” she said. “He does seem invested in introducing me to his fellow officers as often as possible.”

You couldn’t imagine doing the same to Grace. She had been your primary companion in life since your mother had passed—in some ways, more your responsibility than your father’s. After all, for those first few years, you were the only one able to tend to the animals or the crops, you were the only one able to make the meals, or sweep the floors. You would climb into bed with her, hours after she’d fallen asleep, after your father had emptied his glass of gin and you’d gotten him to his room.

Thankfully, your father eventually put down the gin. You didn’t think it was possible to put down responsibility. You didn’t even know if you wanted to.

“I see,” you replied. “Are they kind, at least?”

Lottie snorted. “No,” she said. “Most of the Green Dragoons are utter villains.” She folded her arms protectively over her chest. “I’m much more inclined toward Major Ferguson’s corps. He only oversees men of honor.”

There was that name again, said with the same dreamy insistence that Grace had tried and failed to conceal in her writing.

“Major Ferguson,” you said, as if recalling a long-forgotten acquaintance. “I keep hearing that name today. Do you know much about him?”

“Oh, I dream of it.” She giggled with all of the secrecy of a girl with a crush on a church boy. “I think—besides my brother, of course—he might be my favorite officer of all His Majesty’s soldiers.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Truly?”

“I promise you,” she said, “you have never met a man with greater wit, charm, or passion.” She laughed and gave a teasing smirk. “I think he could convince General Washington himself to throw down his arms and pledge allegiance to the King if given half a chance.”

“I will take your impressions under advisement,” you replied, grinning. You suddenly had an idea who was likely responsible for Grace’s shifting sentiments.

When you arrived at the City Hospital, Lottie dipped off to check on the sick she’d tended to the day prior. You, personally, didn’t see the purpose in conversing with those you had no duties to and decided to sit and read through more of Grace’s letter.

In my most fitful hours on the road, when grief seemed to me a dark and terrible ocean without shore, I was sought by the gracious Major Ferguson, who told most diverting stories and drew from me laughter of a mystifying source. I query whether he may be adept with some beguiling magick to have so oft performed a vanishment of my tears. He is a clever and skillful man as well as kind.

You, I am sure, would think more highly of him than you did Nathaniel, though I fear I am now far ahead of myself, Sister, and must stay my pen lest my flights of fancy make off with me, as you know they are apt to do. I am besieged now by shame to even write it, and know that were you here, Sister, you would soothe me by turning my mind to practicalities. As such, and to ease the pain of your absence I feel again coming upon me, I shall address them. I know the welfare of our home indispensable to your peace of mind, so let me assure you of it.

Despite your growing suspicions surrounding Ferguson, a smile crept over your face as you read Grace’s report on the farm. She listed every crop that had needed tending on her return, the condition of each chicken and goat by name, and included an effusive exaltation of your neighbors who had kindly fed them in your absence.

I do not wish to be alone. Major Ferguson is to depart with his men two days hence—

The delicate clearing of a throat resounded from somewhere to your side.

You snapped from the letter, looking up to see a bashfully pleading Lottie leaning around a doorframe. This version of Lottie was becoming all too familiar given the short time you’d worked alongside her. You let out a sigh.

“Now?” you protested, raising the letter to emphasize that you were occupied.

“Please, oh please,” she stepped into full view to clasp her hands in adjuration. “There’s so much blood, it’s horrid, and the bone is broken, and—”

“All right, Lottie.” You couldn’t help yourself. You smiled. “I’ll help.”

Down the hall and into the ward, a dolorous assault slammed your senses. Injured men groaned out in chorus, and the scent of blood hung in the air like coppery vapor. Lottie ducked her head and led you over to the hospital physician—Dr. Moore—who was hovering over a badly wounded man. From what you could tell, he was a young infantry soldier, his coat removed and head wrapped in bandages. Blood smothered his face, dirt smattered his legs, and his right arm was stripped of clothing.

At least, you believed it was his arm. In its current state you couldn’t imagine it being of much use for any purpose other than occupying a dog’s mouth.

“Go on,” Lottie murmured, urging you forward. “I—I’ll be ill.”

Moore caught you both approaching and adjusted the spectacles over his nose. “Charlotte,” he said, testing with his fingers what some might call flesh, but you’d probably call meat. “Where were you? I need your assistance setting the bone.”

“Oh, I’m afraid I, um, I…”

He frowned. “He doesn’t have all day, Miss Goddard.”

She elbowed your ribs, and you hopped forward with a wince. “Actually,” you said, “I’ll assist in her stead, doctor.”

“Hm?” He looked up, squinted at you. “Poultice girl?”

You nodded, even though you'd introduced yourself multiple times. “My name is—”

“Fine, yes. Come now. Hold this for me. Just there above the wrist.”

As you stepped to assist, Lottie quickly backed away, turning pale beneath her freckles as she watched you support the bloodied, blue-mottled limb. “Oh, yes, thank you so much,” she said, turning away, “I’ll be right, ah, right down that way, so, not too far!”

“Hold on, Charlotte,” said Moore. “We still might need you.”

She whinged. You weren’t fully sure how she served in medicine when she halfway lived in fear of it.

Standing by Moore, you propped up the soldier’s wrist and elbow. He stiffened and groaned through his teeth, seeking out reassurance in your eyes. Why yours, you didn’t know—you had no words of wisdom to offer him and didn’t particularly care to think of any, especially when he was impeding the work with his wooden limbs. Lottie swept to his side and patted his other shoulder, keeping her focus on his face.

“It’s all right, sir, we’re going to take care of this quickly, I promise.”

He winced, nodding, and loosened in your grip. You glimpsed her for a moment, her gaze like a deep, warm embrace. This part came as naturally to her as yours did you.

It ached, how much she reminded you of Grace in that moment. The last line you’d read of Grace’s letter—I do not wish to be alone—pricked your heart like a needle. You did not wish for her to be alone, either. You did not wish to be here, in Charleston, spending time gathering scraps of information when you knew she waited as the tender, vulnerable center of your home.

Moore started to work, and you stood still, bracing the soldier’s arm as he wiped away the blood. Even if granted leave, however, you were uncertain if you wanted to return home. The threat of the British grew greater in South Carolina, and under the supposition that both Grace and you were Loyalists, you could maintain a semblance of safety. Especially with your father’s condition still unknown and Tavington still itching for the opportunity to wring all of your necks.

Behind you, the clicking of heels. “And this is our most esteemed physician, Dr. Henry Moore.” It was the matron of the hospital. “Dr. Moore?”

“A bit busy right now,” Dr. Moore said. The soldier groaned as Moore palpated the skin on his forearm, coaxing the severed halves of bone together beneath.

“Can you take a moment?” she asked, before walking toward the other end of the ward. She tossed over her shoulder, “Colonel Tavington wishes to speak with you.”

Your eyes widened. You turned, met Tavington’s gaze and flinched, jerking the soldier’s arm. He howled in pain, and you grumbled, grabbing a wad of unused bandages and stuffing them in his mouth. He whimpered into them. Dr. Moore sighed, manually readjusted your grip, and got back to work on his sabotaged bone setting.

Tavington, meanwhile, regarded you as you imagined he might regard a body climbing to its feet after he’d gutted it. His right hand flexed absently at his side. All you could do was stare at him completely normally and not at all like a bolt of excitement had zipped through you at the sight of him.

He cocked a brow, his focus flicking over you before he turned to Moore. “Dr. Moore—”

“Busy.”

“—the British legion requires your services immediately.”

“I’m sure you believe your needs to be of great importance, Colonel, but—”

“The field medic I’ve currently retained is indisposed.”

“—as you can see, Charleston keeps me preoccupied as is.”

“You should be prepared to depart as early as this evening.”

Moore paused with a sigh, and turned to face Tavington. “Colonel, I make no assumptions regarding the frequency with which you hear this word, but no.”

Tavington’s eyes fluttered as if the doctor had clapped in front of his nose. “Perhaps you believed me to be making a request, doctor,” he replied. “I was not.”

You pinched your lips between your teeth. Moore had stopped his work on the soldier’s arm entirely. Silent, you caught Lottie’s attention from the corner of your sight, and found her face flush with anxious warmth.

“Colonel,” Moore said, with even more exasperation than the previous time, “I am the only physician in Charleston—perhaps all of South Carolina—at present. I cannot abdicate my duties here to ride with cavalry all night.” He stared at Tavington, who did not move or even shift his expression, like Moore was a fussing baby. “But I can—all right. Listen.” Moore looked at Lottie, then back to Tavington. “Miss Goddard here will be able to serve your needs adequately, and she has the added benefit of having no additional responsibilities aside.”

Lottie tensed, her gaze darting between Moore and Tavington. “M-me, doctor?” With a nervous smile, she said, “Of course, it would be my honor, but… would it be possible for my friend here to join me?”

“Your friend?” said you, the doctor, and Tavington at the same time.

“Please,” Lottie whispered, looking at you. She turned to Dr. Moore. “She’ll be a great help to me.”

Moore sighed and grabbed two splints, lining them up along the man’s forearm. You didn’t blame Lottie for wanting you there. But this would mean you wouldn’t return home. It would mean more time Grace would spend alone. You pinched the splints together, and the soldier whined, muffled by the bandages. As he twisted his head, blood trickled down his cheek, right in Lottie’s line of sight. She choked, turning to try and cough away her clear growing nausea.

“If you insist, Charlotte,” Dr. Moore mumbled as he started the bandaging process.

Tavington, who was watching with winnowing patience, looked at you. “Unfortunately,” he said, “your friend’s freedom does not extend beyond the borders of Charleston.”

You frowned. “But my intelligence was valid.”

“Yes,” he said, “but it did not produce the promised results.”

“A dispatch rider was found and detained, was he not?”

Tavington’s brows raised fractionally. “What was not found was a certain Captain Michael—“

“I am not my father’s keeper,” you growled, shifting more to face him. The soldier whined again and you shot a leer at him. “Shall I next beseech the pagan gods to divine his location, Colonel?”

Lottie glanced at you wide-eyed, alarmed at the tone you were using with a colonel of the British army. “She’s overworked from all of the injured we need to treat,” she offered. “She doesn’t mean that, Colonel Tavington.”

“She does,” he said, still focused on you. He stepped forward, voice lowering. “Divine? No. Reveal—given the insight you possess—yes.”

You snorted. Moore grabbed another roll of bandages and started using it to constrict the soldier’s arm. “If you are still unable to locate my father after everything I’ve told you, I hardly—”

The man groaned in agony, and you realized you’d started tightening your grip as you spoke. You relaxed, and he groaned louder.

Tavington sighed. “Do shut up, Private.”

Your face scrunched, almost amused. The man settled, and you took a breath. “I hardly believe that’s an issue with which I need concern myself.”

“I would say your investment in your father’s life concerns you a great deal,” he replied.

“Alas, but I cannot serve as your prophet, though you flatter me with the notion.” You shrugged. “All of those men under your command, and no success. Perhaps there’s a deficiency somewhere you need to address.”

Lottie hissed your name under her breath. “Please don’t make this harder on me.” Then, turning to Tavington, big brown eyes pleading, said, “I beg of you, Colonel. She’s simply tired. I’ll vouch for her myself!”

“Do you want to take them or not, Colonel?” Moore was tying off the second round of bindings. “If not, I’ll ask you to kindly and politely depart the ward so I can continue getting work done. You may have noticed this, but we’ve a couple dozen of your men here who need my assistance.”

Tavington’s tongue rolled in his mouth, and his eyes met yours. There you found the curiosity you’d spied while in his office, familiar glimmers of interest as he studied you. You swallowed, holding his gaze, wondering what exactly was going through his mind, wondering if he could see your speeding pulse. His head tilted, his chest fell in an exhale.

“And you… You wish to come.”

That really was the question. Your participation in this war had already dumped guilt onto your back as you unceremoniously condemned strangers to suffer and die. The thought of going along with Lottie brought a new deluge of emotions, some of which you worried would war fiercer than the soldiers in the field.

A terrible guilt for abandoning Grace. An even more terrible sadness that you wouldn’t know when you next would see her. And perhaps the most terrible excitement at the thought of waking daily and sleeping nightly within the domain of the most despicable bastard you’d ever met.

Despite it all, you knew that if you kept up the Loyalist facade, Grace would remain safe at home. Your father was the one in danger. And if you were out in the country with his primary—and deadliest—pursuer, you had the highest chance of protecting them both.

All you had to do was stay alive.

“I do, Colonel,” you replied.

“Both of you,” he said, with some amount of dread.

That wasn’t a question, but Lottie nodded anyway. “She’ll be an asset to you, Colonel. A great asset. I promise!”

“I somehow doubt that very much,” he mumbled. “Very well.” He turned to Dr. Moore, who still couldn’t be bothered to look at him while he wiped off the remaining blood from the soldier’s hands and face. “Send them along to the barracks at once. They’ll need to be briefed and supplied before we depart.”

Moore nodded. “Right away, Colonel,” he muttered.

Tavington’s eyes found yours a final time. Whether there was want or warning within them, you couldn’t discern. He turned on his heel and left the ward.

Your shoulders sagged, weight dropping to the ground that you hadn’t known you’d been carrying. Lottie provided you an expression you would’ve described as contrite if there wasn’t so much relief hidden behind it.

“Thank you so much,” she whispered. She rubbed the soldier’s back as he stood and swayed, his arm properly stiff at his side. “Off you go, sir. Get yourself a bed.” Turning back to you, she frowned. “I’m not sure if I can put my appreciation into words, really. I know how badly you wished to return home.”

“Thank you, Dr. Moore,” you said as he stood and moved to the next man. As expected, he did not reply. You shook your head and shrugged to Lottie. “It’s better for me to be doing what I can to serve His Majesty.” You hoped that didn’t sound as contrived as it felt leaving your mouth.

She pursed her lips, waiting for when Moore was out of earshot to whisper, “You have a funny way of showing it, the way you speak to Colonel Tavington!” The horror of your conduct had pinkened her cheeks. “Were you trying to get yourself hanged?”

You frowned. “Of course not.”

“Well, be more careful, then!” She huffed, crossing her arms. “I won’t always be around to rescue you.” She shook her head and brushed her hands down her dress like that would shoo the gore from her person. “Or perhaps he just favors you.”

Your next breath lodged in your throat, and you coughed. “I’m sorry—” You coughed again, straightening. “He what?”

She laughed, nudging you gently. “Oh, you are funny. Imagine, Colonel Tavington favoring anyone,” she said through giggles. “If you’d seen your face…”

“Right,” you said, bizarrely disappointed.

With a sigh, Lottie adjusted her sleeves. “I’ll tell Mrs. Smith that we need to be departing. Oh!” She gasped, clapping her hands over her mouth in delight. “This means that I’ll be in the field with Ben!” With a smile, she skittered over to the matron as she attended an ailing woman.

You tried to grin, but strained your cheeks, deciding to settle into the seat where the soldier had been instead. If you were to be departing with Tavington’s legion tonight, you needed to finish Grace’s letter. You pulled it from your pocket.

I do not wish to be alone. Major Ferguson is to depart with his men two days hence and I must admit that I dread his absence. Already once he has made a most welcome visit to certify my welfare. I told him I was indeed well, but that I should like very much to know the condition of my dear Sister. Though I with most indocile nature demanded his intelligence on the matter, he remained to me gentle and courteous. He wishes it was in his power to oblige me but it is not. He suggested however that should I wish to write you, that he may deliver you my Letter when next he is called to Charlestown. A gallant and charitable offer indeed!

Despite Papa’s endless grievances of the British army I believe he construes them all unkindly. Perhaps every one he encountered was akin to that murderous devil we so unfortunately met. In that case I should understand his misgivings.

A sense of irritation grew in your chest. You decided you didn’t particularly care if this man Ferguson was in fact Jesus Christ himself rose from the dead. The fact he was busy using your sister’s naivety to his advantage made you want to crucify him despite it.

Murderous devil, perhaps, but at least Tavington…

You paused. You couldn’t think of anything he’d done that wasn’t, in fact, worse.

But enough of wars and men. Never have you and I been apart so long, nor our home so reminiscent of a cavern. How clamorous the sound of my pen in this silence, dear Sister. Pray write me when this letter finds you. Until then I shall look each day to the South road and hope to see you return. Do not fret that I am well. Mrs. Jones has called upon me to come for supper and company, she insists, whenever I feel the pangs of solitude too keenly. For this I am grateful.

Ever, ever I remain

Faithfully and Lovingly Your Sister, Grace

P.S. I am sorry for the words herein whose inking is damaged. Mr. Mouser trod upon this Letter and entreats me now with uproarious meows to attend him.

You smiled as you finished the letter. But your heart wilted. You weren’t sure when you would be coming up the south road, or when you’d be able to unburden Grace of solitude. You knew only that you were making the choices you felt were right to keep her safe. Just as you’d always done.

Dr. Moore had left some parchment out on the table with the medical supplies. You grabbed a few pages of it along with his pen. The letter wouldn’t be long, but you could at least let her know that she did not need to worry. That you wouldn’t be returning home, but you would promise to find her, to see her soon.

You dipped the nib in the ink. You started writing.

#william tavington #colonel william tavington #colonel tavington #the patriot #jason isaacs #playing soldier #oh it's so fun living in 1780 where you had to set bones with. splints.

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cherubofthenight · 10 days ago

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i'm somewhat prepared for my 20s

here's what i learned:

- You gotta save yourself; no one's gonna do it for you. Everyone has their own life, so take charge of yours!

- Starting over? You can do that whenever you want—it's unlimited! And remember, your body can tell you when a relationship isn’t giving you what you need and deserve.

- Stay away from people who are too scared to live life. And those who make fun of or insult you as a "joke"? Yeah, it's never really a joke. Surround yourself with people who genuinely care about your well-being and support you.

- People that don't have goals aren't for people who do.

- Are you your second option? No. So why would you be anyone else’s?

- Being single is a blessing, but if you do get into/are in a relationship make sure you have hobbies or hyper-fixation onto said person will most likely happen if it hasn't happened yet.

- Retinol at 25 is a must—it promotes collagen production and helps prevent fine lines and early signs of aging. And don’t forget sunscreen! Skin cancer is real—ask Hugh Jackman.

- Setting limits and boundaries is key to protect yourself in any relationship. Avoid oversharing, too! Think about the level of intimacy and trust with the person. If they seem disinterested or uncomfortable, that’s your cue to change the subject. Be clear about what topics you’re willing to discuss, and practice saying no when it comes to personal matters. Past experiences of oversharing can serve as good reminders to guard your privacy.

- Take care of your appearance. dress right, eat right, accessorize, etc.

- Get comfortable saying "no" without feeling guilty. Taking care of yourself should never feel like a chore; if it does, something's off.

- Never chase a man; that's just a waste of energy.

- Get your driver’s license and buy/start saving for a car like, now!

- Law of detachment. cultivating inner peace, focus on the present & and trusting yourself.

- Taking care of & bettering yourself should never feel like a chore

- Meditate—clearer mind means better decisions. Socialize and network; just get out of the house sometimes. But don’t be everywhere all the time. Your feelings matter, and only you know what you’ve been through.

- People come and go, and I like to see it as the universe teaching me lessons about the type of people I want in my life.

- Be particular with whom you share let into your space.

- Pleasing people will get you nowhere.

- Try new things, build new skills. sign up for freakin skillshare if you have to girl just DO SOMETHING.

- Sometimes you just gotta say "my future husband/wife/spouse would never" and move on.

- Vision boards. keep that future 'range rover pilates mom who works only when she wats to bc she and her spouse are STACKED' ver of yourself in your mind esp when you make life changing decisions.

- As the person living your life, you're the main character which means you should become someone that YOU love and stay true to them. you gotta be able to challenge yourself and then have faith that you can overcome and win always. you're probably still gonna care what people think, but your opinion of yourself should always matter the most. i don't wanna keep living by what i think someone is gonna think of me and then in 5-10 years im a bum who hasn't done shit for her self because she chose to live in fear yk.

- Perspective matters. always be the 'glass half-full' type of person. never focus on lack, celebrate whatever abundance you and practice gratitude. it helps so much in terms of focusing on and thus manifesting positivity in your life.

- Start taking care of your health now, your older self is gonna thank you.

- Knowledge is indeed power. stay curious, ask questions, do that research, read those books, watch those video essays.

- Take the time to get to know yourself—go out, stay in, try new things, and find out what you like and dislike. Avoid comparing yourself to others; you’re on your own separate journey.

- Financial literacy is essential. Learn to save, budget, and invest now; 30 year old you will be thanking you, once again miss range rover pilates mom.

- Not everyone is going to like you, and that's totally okay.

- Invest in your mental health; it’ll help you cope, make better decisions, and maintain healthy relationships while reducing burnout.

- It’s okay to be lazy sometimes! Everyone burns out, and that doesn’t make you less than anyone. Take your time and focus on yourself. Do things that bring you joy.

- Embrace mistakes; they’re essential for growth and give you more experience to handle adversity with confidence. Remember, everyone makes mistakes, so you’re never alone in that.

- You just got here! Calm down, breathe, chill, and relax. It’s okay not to have everything figured out right now. You’re going to find what’s meant for you—just enjoy the journey and have faith that everything will work out, no matter how hard things seem.

#cherubofthenight #divine feminine energy #hypergamy #femininity #girly tumblr #im just a girl #it girl #dream girl #girlhood #spirituality #spiritual journey #black princess #black is beautiful #black youtuber #black girl magic #black women #pink aesthetic #pinkcore

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twig-tea · 8 months ago

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Ossan's Love Returns: I Love This Show

I have so many feelings about this finale; and they’re very different from my feelings about the Perfect Propose finale (both very good but in extremely different ways) so having experienced both today has been a real emotional journey!

This episode left me feeing euphoric. I am not a huge crier, but Ossan’s Love always gets to me, and I cried four times during this finale. Then I rewatched and cried four times again.

There is something about how this show does such a good job of capturing complicated and loving relationships of all kinds–romantic, platonic, familial, other–and making me believe that they will support one another through anything, even as they whack each other with frying pans and despair at their loved ones ever having two braincells function at the same time.

That exasperated, eyes wide open, no illusions about who you’re with kind of love has been in the series from the first season, but in this season it feels so lived in. The comfort that all of the characters have with one another, having all seen one another at their worst already, is palpable. And the way the original gang were so open to the new characters and their absurdities was so touching.

There are so many things I love about this show. Haruta and Maki’s relationship makes me feel so proud of them, knowing how far they’ve come from Season 1, and everything they went through in that season and the film to get here. But even just taking the season as a stand-alone, there is so much growth this season. They go from a couple who have not been in the same city together for years to living together, and they have to learn to be in one another’s physical space. They have conversations with both sets of parents, they navigate whether or not to have a wedding, whether or not to have kids, and just how to show appreciation for one another in a long-term relationship.

The way Maki said that Haruta was his happiness, and Haruta said that he was happiest just looking at the sky with Maki (because Maki is his happiness too) made me cry twice. Maki is so competent, but Haruta is kind; and it’s his consistent, active kindness that holds their wider found family group together. The way Maki had to learn to actively think about Haruta’s happiness in the same way was that Haruta does all the time, in the same way that Haruta had to learn to be competent in cooking and cleaning so that he could take some of the burden off Maki, this is the stuff that gets to me.

The way this found family cares about one another, rallies around whenever one of them needs it, and shows up for one another consistently, also really gets to me. And this show knows exactly what it’s doing–there were some wonderful conversations this episode about what counts as ‘family’, and how sometimes the importance of someone in your life can’t be easily defined but that doesn’t make them any less important (that was another one of the times I cried). The final placard of the show read WE ARE FAMILY in sakura petals, and that’s what made me cry the fourth time (and is making me tear up now to think about).

And I can’t think about this gang without thinking about how so many of the relationships in it are complicated, like I mentioned above. The way Maki and Kurosawa cannot be in a scene together without sniping, but Maki calls Kurosawa for help when he needs it and Kurosawa leaves Maki an extremely touching note acknowledging Maki’s importance in Haruta’s life. The way Maro and Haruta are friends but Haruta also chastizes Maro’s causal speech every time they talk. The way Chouko has found a detente with her mother-in-law by bonding over a boy band, and how Chizu relies on the Arais for childcare but feels ashamed that she has to. The way Takegawa wants a relationship so strongly but holds himself back from making a[nother] move on Maki so that Maki and Haruta can have a happy wedding day. The way Haruta can’t return Izumi’s feelings but he leaves room for him to feel them.The way Chouko and Izumi bond over having lost a long-held love. The way everyone thinks Kiku is super suspicious but they still eat his onigiri. The way Kurosawa gifts Kiku his fermentation pot in recognition of the both of them holding onto unrequited love.

This show makes me so happy. I could keep explaining all the ways in which it brings me joy, but honestly, just go watch it. It’s on GagaOOLala right now, and @isaksbestpillow is working on improved subs for all episodes (the subs on Gaga are good enough to understand what's going on, but Siiiri's are better for understanding the nuances and jokes). You don’t need to have seen any of the previous content to enjoy this show. If you’ve ever lamented that BL isn’t funny; that BL doesn’t feature established relationships, that BL doesn’t have enough older characters; that JBL couples don’t kiss or show affection, then watch this show.

#ossan's love returns #bl meta #typed so that i can stop thinking it

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rocketturtle4 · 1 year ago

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Arthrit was my Favourite Character and I want to write about him; My reflection on the SOTUS Franchise as a newbie

In brief: I am attempting to understand the growth of Thai BLs by watching ABL’s understand the history of thai bl list on the Thai master post. I’m more interested in the growth and change on screen than the tracking of different actors/directors etc. but I do enjoy reading about those things. I am concurrently understanding the history of All BL by watching the Foundation Syllabus lists as well, I am not planning to review everything, but I adored SOTUS and I’ve started following @waitmyturtle’s journey through oldgmmtv and was surprised by our different initial takes on SOTUS and to a lesser extent the SOTUS franchise so I thought I’d share my own feeling about the shows. Yes I know ‘twas a while ago.

I don’t know anything about the actors as people and have minimal knowledge of the IRL ship drama (just aware that there was drama)

Disclaimers:

THIS POST IS LONG (LIKE LONG LONG), and I cut out so much you wouldn’t believe

Obviously, these are my own thoughts, I am not expecting everyone or even anyone to agree, I’m just sharing.

I only talk about Arthrit and Kong in this post, I enjoyed the side couples but I was much more invested in the main one and that’s what I want to talk about.

Not defending Gay for you as a damaging trope

Not defending blushing maiden and sex negativity as damaging tropes

Damaging tropes suck and being aware of them while viewing content is important for not internalising their message for yourself or your perception of others.

I’m demisexual FYI (My sexuality suddenly felt relevant halfway through my reflection so Imma put it here)

General SOTUS Thoughts

In writing this I have realised my attachment to Arthrit started later in the franchise than I thought but eh still mostly going to write about him.

Bullying/hazing (I didn’t mind this time) – I don’t like Hazing or bullying, but the way it was portrayed here, as a form of relationship building which was openly discussed as damaging and then improved on as part of the arc was fine for me. It was about recognizing the good parts of a practice and removing the bad and I was cool with that.

Kongpob (I’m a fan) – He’s hard working, he’s snarky, he’s clearly got good learning habits and cares about his education, he’s supportive of his friends and he stands up for injustice. I was definitely watching SOTUS for this character in the beginning.

Disparate personalities and positions of power (And the different ways our leads present as authority) (there’s also obvs age dynamics at play)

Arthrit is older but also the shyer and less expressive, his assumption of leaderships feels less aligned with his personality and so he cares more about maintaining his professionalism, first as head Hazer and later as an employee while Kong is an intern. (This does not make him a bad leader I think he’s a good one).

Kong is a natural leader, shown overwhelmingly by his standing up for his peers and their inclination to elect him as the campus star and then as the representative (which he runs away from cause he’s already got enough on his plate). His comfort with his own authority is a part of his pursuit of Arthrit and also his differing experience with Authority. (I think the way he bonds with P’Paga the scary office lady is a great example of this difference, he has good instincts).

This feels important to me as Arthrit is holding onto that authority a lot tighter than Kongpob, he’s working to maintain it because it’s NOT natural.

OKAY Onto Arthrit’s Arc and why I found it so impactful.

First up I can tell you the exact moment I fell in love with Arthrit’s character, it was right…

Here (Please study hard P'Arthrit)

(His eyes my good people, they had me and they never lost me) (I literally learnt how to GIF just so I could keep this moment forever) (Episode 13) (I mean, I found a GIF generator) From this point on I was watching this entire franchise for the way Arthrit emoted with his eyes first, and everything else second.

But let’s back up slightly.

My take on Arthrit’s emotional arc through the early parts of SOTUS was essentially:

Why is the first year defiant-flirting with me?

This first year is incredibly clever and that’s dangerous because it could undermine my authority and I want this program to be successful (He did recommend him as campus star, and comment to himself/his friends about not underestimating Kongpob, we had clearly early signs that Arthrit thought Kongpob was pretty amazing, he just couldn’t show this because of this authoritative position) (also age dynamics = a big deal in Thailand)

Then we had the sleep confession (He’s never really sleeping)

Arthrit’s panic over the fact that his sort of friend, definite nong who is a guy apparently had feelings for him

This manifested as his removing himself from Kongpob to work through and process his own emotions, my personal feelings on this were that Arthrit’s reaction was more confused than disgusted and he was trying to avoid a confrontation so he could figure himself out without hurting Kongpob. (There was also some unresolved feelings in here for his highschool friend that needed to be dealt with).

Not the ideal move and poor Kong was so confused and got hurt anyway but then we got to

“I don’t know you well enough Kongpob… But I want to know you more”

Now I seriously appreciated this because I often feel frustrated when characters emotions just immediately match: like one person confesses and two days later other person is like, oh turns out I am also madly in love with you. Boom. Couple. (This does sometimes make sense in the story, just not always).

Arthrit’s emotional response of: Yes I think I like you but I’m still figuring it out so do keep flirting with me so I can keep figuring it out…

I liked it.

Now immediately after this, Arthrit kisses Kongpob (mutual kisses yay!). I don’t take this as say, a final cementation of their relationship (as the kiss often seems to be treated, especially in K BL) but as an expression of interest.

Kiss = I am interested in you romantically, let’s flirt more/date to get to know each other so our feelings can develop.

Then we got to see Arthrit melt (the eyes conveyed it, I adored) honestly it was their tiny little movements that I liked the most and you can’t see that here but still.

Also his shy little smiles.

I totally think that the attraction here is not conveyed by Arthrit’s character the same way Kong’s but to me this reflects

Kong’s more straightforward and open personality + plus his self confidence (Seme dynamics definitely factor into this since these are characters not real people)

Arthrit being more uncertain as to his own emotional state, AND his greater shyness with expressing his emotions publicly (uke dynamics obvs - but not too pronounced I think). I like how the actor conveys these emotions. (whether or not it was intentional)

People have different levels of comfort with any kinds of PDA and that’s okay (look I’m not sure if blushing maiden trope arguably comes into play here but to me some people are shyer of affection than others and I personally feel that for Arthrit, this early on, his emotions were pretty clear and his responses makes sense.)

And then at the end of episode 13 we handed over the gear

In episode 14 we had a bit of drama because it’s early days and Arthrit is just realising he likes a popular boy

Jealously thou name is Arthrit

But things get resolved (by accident by Kongpob’s gift, amusing) and so we have the public declaration (like the kiss earlier this is instigated by Arthrit which I appreciate because he’s the one with the boundaries being crossed in this scenario). His little smile and duck down to hide his face felt very authentic because he’s not a PDA person and so he feels a bit embarrassed about drawing attention to himself.

And they had a good convo afterwards too + Kiss etc but I really want to get onto:

SOTUS S

(Because episode 15 of SOTUS is over the time jump it's included here)

Thoughts on the stuff that happens during the time jump (e.g. the end cut scenes of some episodes).

We had 2 scenes which stuck in my mind from this time, the piggyback ride ("you are my faen after all") after Kong hurts himself.

(THE EYES)

AND

Arthrit handing over the metaphorical power to the future head hazer.

I personally felt this scene was super important because it showed us:

Arthrit simping all over his boy being authoritative and flirting back with the same lines Kong had once used, in a public space.

Arthrit’s continued uncertainty, NOT (in my opinion) with the idea of being openly affectionate with his boyfriend (what do you call his face above if not openly affectionate) but with having his professionalism undermined by being asked to kiss said boyfriend in front of a whole group of his peers while he is technically their leader (plus they will tease him).

Look it's dark here, and I know my love of his eyes and their emotions is irrational but to me that gaze says: “you know I love you, but why are you doing this HERE.” @waitmyturtles, this was the thing I found most discrepant about your thoughts and mine, to me Arthrit’s emotions were conveyed so clearly by Krist, even in SOTUS but especially in SOTUS S. I was so absorbed by Arthrit sometimes I got completely distracted from Singto’s (excellent) portrayal of Kong.

Onto the main timeline of SOTUS S

(How many of my images of Arthrit being a simp can i put it here to justify my having them in the first place) (I restrained myself a lot you have to believe me)...it turns out I hit the limit, enjoy!

(I started doing a quick flick through the show to check my continuity but then I wanting to add stuff so I stopped and I'm trusting my brain)

We get an early sign that their relationship is going strong with their mutual missing of each other: Arthrit’s visit to campus and seeking Kong out because he misses him, and Kong telling Arthrit he has a duty to him as his faen and convincing Arthrit to stay the night with him because he misses Arthrit.

(They're both so doting naaaaww)

Later, we have this scene where Arthrit goes to tell his coworkers he has a faen and gets interrupted ("well I…") Now we don’t know this for sure, but he drew himself up and prepared to face it and then sort of deflates when he missed the chance, so I’m projecting and that’s what I think.

There’s some bumps in the road while they navigate their new seperation and Kong hits a boundary of Arthrit’s he clearly didn’t know existed when he showed up at Arthrit’s work. (I think this is again more of a personality thing, Arthrit is still figuring out his position and authority in the company and feels very unsure about having his male faen show up to his office without warning. This is not the university space where everyone around them knows they’re dating, it’s DIFFERENT. Kong on the other hand is the kind of guy who totally would have interrupted everyone at that dinner to be like, actually I cook dinner for my man. All. The. Time.) Anyways, they talk, Kong visits work in a planned way, and things are more settled and physical (have some more photos, justify my having them in the first place)

until…Kong shows up at work, and then after they sort of talk, Kong shows up next door.

Now while writing this I had a personal realization that I need to check in about (detailed in small text below the next photo) but first.

This moment makes everything else in the Arthrit’s arc make sense to me, to me he’s feeling uncertain about fundamental aspects of their relationship, rather than purely being temporarily hurt by Kongpobs actions, he internalises this uncertainty about their communication.

This is then kind of resolved but then made much worse by Kongpob moving in next door. (Yes Kong says it's to be close while giving Arthrit space, but doesn't Arthrit deserve to be part of that decision?) (We don't see how much they communicated prior to this, but it seems to me that Arthrit's point here, about losing faith in their ability to talk to each other is super relevant)

(Personal note, how secure I feel in a relationship directly affects how comfortable I feel physically in the relationship, and I don’t mean ‘I’m sad so I don’t feel like having sex right now’ I mean, ‘the foundation of our relationships feels less stable and as a result my comfort with physical things, especially sexual intimacy feels significantly reduced’

I THOUGHT THIS WAS NORMAL Y’ALL

Having sat and thought about it right now, I don’t think that’s actually the case for the majority? like not all the time at least? This made me think about my personal reaction to watching Nevertheless a few months ago (a kdrama) and I was crazy uncomfortable with the discrepant emotional comfort vs physical desire plot, (I finished it, because I had to, because leaving in the middle would have been worse but just, No.) I mean I get sex without feelings, sure, or with budding feelings, but sex while you’re feelings have moved from stability to instability or are just floundering in instability without resolution?. Possible? Absolutely. Comfortable? No way.

Is this a demisexual thing? (I'm demi if you missed the disclaimer at the top) Is this a me thing? I am going to examine this more but for now you have my facts and perspective and we’re moving on)

(also this relationship being kind of ace has actually been put forth by ABL (here) and most likely others. I had previously read this post and moved on (because I hadn’t seen SOTUS), so I just wanted to say this is not a Tumblr revelation, just a me revelation)

I may be projecting but…

I adored the way the actor continued to show Arthrit’s foundational uncertainty in where their relationship was going/at, through his discomfort with being physical with Kong even after he’d consciously forgiven him. (Okay definitely projecting)

Episode 7, where Kong gets hurt by the door and is forgiven, but Arthrit still seems kind of uncomfortable with the physical side of things both here and in the next episode.

Plus the excellent scenes where Arthrit keeps telling Kong off for giving him food and then ends up yelling, and Kong goes back to being uncertain about where the line is. (Arthrit needs to talk more I'll admit it).

Arthit during the scene where Kong professes his uncertainty, because it's another screenshot I already had. (HIS. EYES.)

BUT because Arthrit realises he's hurt Kong, they talk about it and tada: Arthrits more comfortable physically again next ep, because he’s more certain of his relationship again.

We get beaches

(seriously Arthrit’s little smile, I’m dying) and fun times and kisses

(I have so many screenshots in here everyone, it's concerning)

And then:

Arthrit get’s double shaken again (Dad + Photo) (and he processes things by taking physical space. AGAIN.) (still totally relatable but I’m actually kind of annoyed with him for not saying a word to Kong now that I’m writing it down, I was not at all annoyed when I watched it, for the record)

And then Kong goes “OKAY THAT’S IT” and expresses his (totally justifiable) uncertainty about what is going on, because Arthrit keeps not being clear and can’t they actually talk about things!! So Kong gives him back his gear and leaves. My take on this was basically:

Kong: You need to be sure you want to be with me.

Arthrit: wait what, you’re leaving? But you’re always there? You’ve been hurting? Oh no I’ve hurt you? *cries* *Processes* *Publicly declares feelings* There I fixed it.

To me, Arthrit was never uncertain about whether or not he Loved Kong (Is this in question?, I don't know), he was just navigating the stability of his existing relationship in a new environment with many new revelations. And I believe that, because, even through the uncertainty, Arthrit continued to stare at Kong with such intensity that I couldn’t look away.

Hmm despite that, I think this reflection has actually left me a little bit less obsessed with Arthrit (definitely a good thing, I realized after I finished SOTUS S that I have 48 screenshots of Arthrit’s face staring at Kong with different adoring expressions and that is… too many).

For me, Arthrit’s emotional arc was so captivating because of the way Krist acted throughout, his expressions (HIS EYES) and the links between his emotions and his physical comfort were compelling and I was sucked into his emotional journey above all else. Did the actor intend this? I don’t know, but I had a great time. I almost feel like I need to rewatch SOTUS S just to pay attention to Singto more because he was kind of sidelined for me.

OUR SKYY SOTUS (the quickest summary because the words are totally out of hand)

(I totally had more pics from our skyy but I've apparently hit my limit oops)

We had some lovely relationship comfort and stability followed by compelling drama and then resolution. I loved it.

The drama is basically just Arthrit going: oh no you’re leaving, what if I make things harder for you, what if things end, how will I live, *get’s bad advice about breaking up* we should take a break because I love you way too much.

Kong: You complete moron, I love you and that’s why we’re supposed to stay together, now I’m leaving tomorrow, and you better prove you love me too by showing up.

Arthrit: *takes time to process* Oh yeah cool cool, I totally love you a lot *shows up and decides to travel with him for a little bit because these boyfriends be clingy*

But with all the excellent acting.

(Tiny note, my understanding is that this performance might be more compelling because Krist is expressing more emotions, but I took that as the first time Arthrit had actually tried to talk about and express his feelings, due to feeling stable enough to do so (all previous space taking was emotional processing). So there isn’t a single scene in SOTUS or SOTUS S where I would have expected this level of emotion (except for when he realized Kong was leaving because Kong was hurt). I would have found it confusing because Arthrits clearly a brooder. So he doesn’t talk to Kong while he’s hurting (an incorrect choice but one he continues to make) and so only the attempt to speak about his emotions here induces this level of physical display.

I cry more when I try to talk about my emotions, anybody else?)

CHEERS FOR READING

ALSO, I appreciate all you Tumblr master posters so much more now (I swear I already appreciated you lots!! but seriously I thought this would take like an hour or two and it DID NOT - and I'm not even meta-ing just throwing my thoughts on a page)

#sotus #sotus the series #sotus s #sotus s the series #rocketturtle4 catches up #thai bl #analysis #our skyy x sotus #Arthrit sotus #Arthrit x kong #rturts is wondering #Rocket4Reviews

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sipsteainanxiety · 2 years ago

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˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖ valentine's day brings promises of chocolates and roses, hugs and kisses, smiles and laughter. but this year it also happens to bring along something more... bittersweet ˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

welcome to dark chocolates, a multi-fandom valentine's day collab brought to you by the teahouse, a discord server ran by @petrichorium and myself. you will find stories of romance and love, yes, but with a twist!

the deadline for this collab is, of course, valentine's day, so expect pieces to be posted around then and subsequently updated on this masterlist! you can also track the #teahouse collab: dark chocolates tag for fics as they are uploaded.

please be mindful of the tags listed for each fic. we hope you enjoy all the following wonderful pieces written by the wonderful authors in the server. happy reading! ❦

for you, anything by @tsukkismoonlight

pairing: nakedtoaster x reader

mentions: general warnings around breakups, thoughts/anxiety related to self image/self worth

summary: you've sworn off love. after the way your last ex treated you, after all of the heartbreak, and all of the nights you lost to someone who didn't care, you have had enough. or, that's what the plan had been. you wouldn't have guessed that a tiny fan server with less than ten members hid someone who made everything feel like all of that pain was worth it. and you, they'd do just about anything.

idk man by @antheawritings

pairing: onion thief x reader

mentions: character death

summary: dead grandpa :( but it’s okay bc sexy onion man :)

cacoethes by @venexus

pairing: aki hayakawa x reader

mentions: prior toxic relationship (reader & unnamed ex), romantic tension, smoking

summary: cacoethes (n.) - the urge to do something inadvisable.

alternatively: when you escape a toxic ex, your favourite work colleague is there to pick up the pieces.

untitled by @petrichorium

pairing: diluc ragnvindr x reader

mentions: sfw, royal au, reader is explicitly female, canon typical violence, family death, mourning

summary: in which after five years spent rampaging amongst the frigid tundras and snowy forests of snezhnaya in the aftermath of his father’s death, crown prince diluc ragnvindr finally makes the journey home with a life-threatening injury—and an unanticipated companion.

standing still by @lou-struck

pairing: wakatoshi ushijima x reader

mentions: breakup angst

summary: you have been together for years, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

a persistent lack of follow through by CooPigeonCoo (ao3)

pairing: todoroki shouto x reader

mentions: exes, breaking up & making up, angst with a happy ending, personal growth, drinking, sexual content, child abuse, humor, pining, natural disasters, serious injuries, domestic fluff

summary: shouto had learned a lot from his father; how to take a hit, how to pull himself back up, and how to hold a grudge.

but one thing endeavor could never teach his children was how to be a good partner.

shouto had to learn that particular skill the hard way.

-----

he had spent long, sleepless nights reflecting on the things you had told him; the reasons you left. every moment of your acquaintance was turned over repeatedly in his head and examined until one devastating conclusion was reached:

"i was a bad boyfriend," shouto muttered dejectedly, idly picking at the label of the shochu bottle in the middle of the table.

----- a story where shouto loves, loses, and learns.

the night train by @pikatsum (tumblr) / Undercover_Royalty (ao3)

pairing: midoriya izuku x reader

mentions: SFW, some angst, hurt/comfort, fem!reader

summary: “what, did we both get dumped, tonight?” you ask, ever tactless in the face of silence.

through the sniffles, the hooded man gives a little jolt that might have been a laugh. it’s a start, at least.

when the night calls by @sipsteainanxiety

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader

mentions: char death (bkg) but not reaaalllyyy, aged up chars (25+), supernatural elements in a pro-hero au, grief/mourning, horror-esque but it's romantic i promise, hurt/comfort

summary: you thought katsuki was gone—that he had abandoned you in this life to move on to the next. you saw his body—lifeless, cold, still. saw him get lowered into the ground in his dark casket enveloped in his hero colors. you stayed, for hours after the funeral, at his grave.

you thought he was dead. that he'd left you alone.

you were wrong.

#teahouse collab: dark chocolates #nakedtoaster x reader #onionthief x reader #aki hayakawa x reader #aki x reader #diluc x reader #diluc ragnvindr x reader #wakatoshi ushijima x reader #ushijima x reader #midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #blooming panic x reader #genshin x reader #chainsaw man x reader #haikyuu x reader #mha x reader

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leadandblood · 1 month ago

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PLEASE tell us more about your Crozcest interpretations of canon scenes omg 0w0

This reply has gotten SO fucking long, oh my god, Anon, what have you unleashed. (kidding, i love you, thank you so much for this ask <333333333)

Below are my thoughts and interpretations of canon scenes along with screencaps from the show. All the things below are speculation. No, these characters are not related whatsoever in the show. I made this AU up bc it's fun. Don't go into the soup store if you hate soup. Don't read this post if you hate blorbo incest. (though this post is very mild and mostly covers the basic family dynamic)

okAY OKAY, So!! Basically everything has to be viewed through a different lense, because well. they're family now! It changes Everything! So I might as well describe the whole show, but I guess for this post, I can start with ep 1...?

Overall

Technically Edward is better off, because he gets a higher position in the navy. He has influence, he has command, he can order men around as he likes as long as it's something a lieutenant can do. It's possible to think Francis likes him more because of this BUT!

Thomas gets to be way closer to Francis and is allowed to spend more time with him and has way less weight and expectations placed on his shoulders. Many of the tasks he has to do are controlled by Francis, are always the same and don't require much from him apart from physical labor. It's basically "I want to keep you as close as possible on this journey without burdening you too much or raising suspicions". That of course doesn't prevent Tom from working his ass off, but we'll get to that at some point.

Alternative first scene (Francis & Edward)

In one of the cuts, the first scene we get of Francis is with Edward (ignoring Blanky). And he's being all fatherly and friendly and touchy, which is actually adorable. All is well! I'm soft.

Despite everything, especially earlier into the journey, Francis doesn't dislike Edward all that much. When he's in a good mood, one could even say he loves him. Edward has been capable - he's a good lieutenant, when they're actually sailing and when he knows what to do. I'd say Francis is proud of him at least a bit at the start of the show, even though he wouldn't admit it.

(sorry for the shitty screencaps i only have this cut in 720p)

Then there's of course Edward's yay, daddy, hi! 🥰🥰 expression which is beyond adorable. I love him very much.

Alternative first scene #2 (Francis & Thomas)

In the bluray version (and netflix, too, i believe) Francis's first scene is with Thomas. Which in itself is crazy to me like. The fact they chose Jopson and Little specifically to accompany Francis in his first ever scenes!! Bonkers in the best way possible. (and also HIGHLY convinient for this AU reading lmaooo) Anyway.

Tom's cunty little head wiggle here is everything to me. When your dad goes on another rant abt how much he hates your auntie who comes over to visit once a month and you just have to endure it and nod along.

I think Francis is that sort of parent you've had to comfort when you were a kid. They'd pour their heart out to you about their problems (which you could do nothing about). And despite how small you were, you were expected to respond maturely and to not only bear your parent's tears, but to comfort them. This of course is an insane burden to give to a child, who WILL then feel responsible and WILL feel like they have to do something, yet can't. (Been there, felt that. Sorry Tom)

I think he has had to do that since he was young and that's why he's good at it now compared to Edward. He had time to practise and to learn to bear these sessions from Francis. Tom locks his own emotions up to let his father's flow over him. He might then release them somewhere else ehm ehm, Edward.

Overall terribly unhealthy, but very good angst material.

On a sillier note, Tom stop looking at him like that that's your father ffs-

2nd scene (Dinner on Terror)

Here's just a moment to appreciate this quick glance at Francis (and also how pretty Edward is)

Something something Edward being the one at a table, dining with his father and the officers while Thomas is the one serving them. Something something, useful youngest child, something something a-prize-to-show-to-others eldest child. Tickles my brain.

Also I can't help but imagine Edward looking over to Tom anytime his sleeves slide up a bit when he stretches out to pour them a glass like 👀

Then Francis's moment of "can't believe you'd betray me like that, Edward". To look at Fitzjames with such admiration and interest and to ask questions while barely looking at Francis at all throughout the dinner must be so humbling lmao. (it drives him mad)

I think this is part of the reason why he then makes the Birdshit island comment. It's not 100% aimed at James, but at Edward also, although indirectly. "You think he's so great? Well I don't. And it disappoints me that you do."

Toxic parent Francis go woooooo.

Anyway, then there's this glance which Edward quickly ignores. "Are you hearing this shit?" "oh my god dad shut uppp🙄"

Trust (Erebus visit)

When the officers from Terror visit Erebus after she's injured, Edward stays behind, presumably to watch the ship and keep command while the rest of them are gone, which I think is a great show of trust on Francis's part. Francis, Blanky, Hodgson and Irving are all on Erebus... He's really quite alone and although it's for only a short while and they still feel safe, I think it's notable how much he trusts Edward.

Anyway.

Then there's a whole lot of nothing until the ice cutting scene which i JUST noticed btw aksndgkejf Hi Tommy. I don't think Francis would order him to do it. Rather, I choose to believe he volunteered.

He's always wanted to be stronger and better and to keep going and keep pushing and most importantly to be better than Edward. That's why I think he'd volunteer. Though it may have also been an ''everybody needs to help'' situation, where they were way too desperate to waste a pair of perfectly good hands.

Conclusion to ep 1

We mostly got Francis's POV in this episode, but that's okay. There will be time for the sons too.

Overall I think Francis likes both his sons, though in very different ways and the first ep is a great display of that. He may also be conflicted about the ways in which he shows this, but doesn't know how to do any better, so he just keeps at it. It gets worse as the show progresses, but I'd be getting ahead of myself with that.

Edward Francis wants to push through the stress and burdens of command so that he comes out of it better. Not only that, he trusts that Edward can manage it. That, I think is a really interesting part to their dynamic. The duality of "god, you can't do anything right" and "you can manage this" (eldest daughter syndrome if i ever seen one)

Meanwhile he made Thomas a steward. He had been Francis's steward before, so he may have taken a liking to it and maybe asked his father to give him that position again. Also Francis wants to shelter him more than Ned - wants to keep him close. He's the last thing his wife gave to him before she died, so he cherishes Tom like treasure.

The first episode was for introducing characters, of course, and to set it all up, so there isn't much open conflict or relationship evolution between them Yet. That will change, though. I'm already excited to do the next episode.

I will be writing some of this into the actual fic, but I'm far from that yet, so I might as well make this post my starting point.

Um. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk 😭😭

#a lot of this works for the reading of the canon show itself - without the incest #it's what i based this AU upon afterall so it's bound to be similar really.#but uhh #yeah thank you so much for this ask i love talking about all the way in which they are all fucked up <333 #francis crozier #edward little #thomas jopson #crozcest #the terror

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magnolia-sunrise · 2 months ago

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The way you explore Bastien’s sense of identity through his presentation reminds me of an OC of mine, so they might see eye to eye in at least some respects! My guy Evan (he/him) is a fat trans man who figured out he was trans a little late into his teenage years because he was too preoccupied being the third parent to his three younger siblings. Eventually this fact about himself was too strong for him to ignore, though, and thus he quickly began the process of socially transitioning and gradually sought medical transition as well. He changed names several times throughout this period (Callum, Beck, Rory, and many others among them)

His parents… They weren’t *un*supportive, but in the very least his mother, who saw a lot of herself in her oldest child, indulged his desire to transition while never quite shaking his deadname out of her vocabulary, you know? Especially with him changing names *so* often, it’s just *so* hard to remember which one is right these days. And Evan wanted to maintain a relationship with his parents for a long time (honestly what he wanted was to stay close to his siblings, the youngest of whom is 13 years younger than him). It wasn’t until after he met his eventual spouse, Isador (he/she), who called him by the right name consistently, who encouraged him to experiment and figure out what he liked about being trans, and who showed him what supportive family looks like (Isador was raised by her grandmother who absolutely loves the hell out of her grandkid), that he eventually got the courage to confront his parents. This eventually leads to him going no-contact with said parents, although his siblings reach back out to him on their own

It takes a WHILE for Evan to feel comfortable circling back to femininity for himself, and to feel totally comfortable in his body even then. He grows out a beard and dresses in layers to kind of hide how his body looks underneath. He pushed his feminine hobbies and interests to the side Hard when he started socially transitioning, because he convinced himself he Had to, and instead leans hard into new hobbies like handiwork and cars. Once again he’s content to simply push through the feelings as though they’re small, until they’re too big to ignore. Years down the line, after he and Isador are married, he can admit to himself that Christina Aguilera may still be one of his favourite artists. After they have a daughter together, he comes back to the mending skills he learned as a kid in order to fix her dolls — and maybe even make her some, when he feels brave enough

Evan also tends to be good at reading people and social settings, and if he knew Bastien to any degree, I think he’d be thrilled to see how their sense of personal style and the way they carry themselves changes over time. It’s good to see :)

(Wolfgang and Isador would also absolutely queen out. That’s a separate thing skhdjssjg)

(sorry for getting to this a bit late i got this ask as i was heading out!)

helloooo Evan(and Isador!!) so nice to meet them :") <3 !

really really love how much care and love you put into his story and the realistic and long identity journey (some of the family stuff really hits so hard).

i don't post about this stuff much since its not relevant to the story and i like exploring my characters identities in relation to each other but Bastien left his family when he was fairly young to get himself out of that town and that deeply supressive environment and off to med school as far away as possible, and they've been no contact pretty much since. he used to be a twinkish dyke, and then a dykish twink early on in university and that environment was really fundamental in experimenting with gender and sexuality for him. he was also really lonely, and unsure of anything - getting himself DIY testoterone and then waffling whether he actually wanted to go on it, then waffling about some of the changes, then waffling about top surgery (so he spent some years walking around with mustache and tits) just. a lot of anxiety and stress all the time, they preferred to just put their studies ahead of anything else and only engage in sexuality in terms of one night flings on campus. then after one dramatic event and a shoulder injury, continuing studies was no longer an option and his life just. shattered.

this is where Matteo came into his life in a bigger way, and immediately he was someone really attractive because he seemed so confident, his life figured out, future lined out. it was intoxicating to be in the presence of someone so self assured without a care in the world. who in turn also accepted Bastien - at least back then, when he was a depressed twink Matteo could "save"- and motivated him. but ultimately it was like jumping from one form loneliness and isolation into another form of it, now depending on his cis partner, surrounded by Matteos cis rich friends. his body still changing, gaining weight, feeling unattractive to his partner and locked into specific way of gender and sexuality expression, losing sense of his identity and what they even wanted to do with their life. its so alienating.

all this is to say-- i think if Bastien knew somemone like Evan early on, he would have really loved to have a friend like that - someone going through similar experiences i feel like they could have found a lot of strength and support in each other :") i think if they stayed in touch and friendly over the years, they could have been really positive influences on each other and maybe Bastien would not have such deep seated issues opening up to other people and even to himself. lost in the thought imagining the happiness Bastien would feel visiting Evan's family and seeing the pure love and joy there and what it took to get there its just :"))))) maybe he even would have the strength to leave his unhappy relationship seeing what it's like to be *actually* really accepted when seeing how Isador loves Evan :"))

thank you for sharing!!

#answered #oc chat #making this a new tag to talk about our OCs together

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storiesofsvu · 4 months ago

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Can you tell me about Elizabeth's role in homeland and house of cards?

okay, there are two slightly yet also VERY different answers to your question lol.

First: the short, sweet, imdb/wikipedia/netflix summary answer for you.

Homeland: Elizabeth Keane; -We meet Keane in season 6 as the President Elect of the United States (aka, this is the time between her winning the election her inauguration) and follow her journey to becoming the president at the end of the season and her slight downfall the next. We see her connecting (and making enemies) with the people on her team as she tries to navigate presidency. Personal facts we know: she's divorced, and we learn that her son was killed in combat in the middle east. -Homeland as a show itself: political drama, a LOT of political talk, the pacing is a bit slower and I have only watched the episodes Beth is in and even some of those I skimmed through lol. it's just not for me and some days i do find it boring.

House of Cards: Heather Dunbar: -Dunbar starts out as the solicitor general for government. She's previously taken the last president to trial and got him impeached because of it (im paraphrasing, don't come for me if that detail is wrong). President knows shes powerful and wants to get her on the supreme justice bench so she's not a threat in the upcoming election. She plays the reverse uno card and ends up running for president. Her eps/scenes are more scattered throughout 2-3(?) seasons and we eventually do see her downfall as the president fucks her over. Personal canon facts: she's married, has 2 kids, has been working the legal and political field for years, super experienced, also rich AF. -House of cards as a show: political *thriller*, I MUCH prefer it, the pacing is higher, there's a lot of darkness, double crossing, scandal, murder, sex and everything else going on. I think i've watched s2 to the series finale. It's also just an INCREDIBLE show from an analyzing perspective, costuming, hair and make up, cinematography, direction, acting, writing, ugh. it's so good.

the rest is going under a cut so this isn't five pages long. But here come the headcanons, the fanon lore and how myself and besties have perceived these characters/how we write them

Keane: -is a bad ass, has worked in the political field for years, she opposes the war (esp now that she's lost her son to it). We like to think that the divorce was brought on by their son's death, especially since she was not on speaking terms with him when it happened. -In DESPERATE need of therapy -After saying that, can go one of two ways; no therapy, we're gonna see the total isolation and internal turmoil and mental breakdown that lead to her nearly losing the presidency and thus stepping down. Our girl goes through a LOT of trauma in canon and it's never dealt with, she loses the one person on her staff who she truly trusted and is left surrounded by a team of people who are constantly stabbing knives in each others backs and she unfortunately chose to trust some of the wrong ones, resulting in even more isolation and downward spiral -With therapy, she'd be a little better at being able to read this kinda stuff and go about things in a better way -She can be super cold, standoffish, when things are professional, they are professional and there is a *strict* and very hard line between professional and personal relationships. She doesn't care how harsh or cruel something sounds in the oval, it needs to be said. if she's got to make it up/make it make sense to you when you're home, so be it. -Is low on patience, doesn't have time for bullshit -that being said, she can also be the absolute softest little beth-bear once she's in a diff environment and secure with your relationship -More masculine presenting -Also she is daddy -Can get kinky in the bedroom, but it is not always going to be kinky -Is *very* much about control unless she's absolutely 200% comfortable with you and is willing to be vulnerable -If she's had a bad day, she will absolutely be coming home to absolutely destroy you Heather: -Absolute bad ass bitch who is not afraid of going after what she wants, nearly to the point of not caring what takes to get it. (but normally does have her morals and ethics take over and she realizes that's not right). -Can get very power hungry and when she gets it, it's very easy for it to sneak under her skin and she starts to abuse it, that, linked with how much money she has, can lead to some bad decisions. -Lbr, she's kept grounded by her husband in like, all of these situations. -Grew up super rich, old money, family money, not snooty about it, but is also in the "it's one banana, how much could it cost?" circle. She invests, she knows how to be financially conscious so that that wealth doesn't deplete -Was on the fence about kids/a family, but did it because that was "what was right"/expected/knew that having a family behind her was the right image that she wanted to project when she got where she wanted politically/career wise. Thus, lots of house staff, kids had nannies and were sent to boarding school. She did not bond with them very well, esp at the school age and likely feels like she doesn't really know them until they're adults -Can be cruel and vindictive and toxic, all depends on like, literally one singular life choice that she made. (See, the power hungry up above). once she loses herself to that, there's no going back -Is Mommy. -Is also the kinkiest, dirtiest, hardcore bitch that we know -Enjoys a large variety of kinks, but is *always* the dom, sometimes not even letting her partners touch her. She uses the mommy title and expects it to be used back, if it's in private, she expects it outside of the bedroom too -Loves mess, loves teasing, resident brat tamer, her punishments are always extreme and sometimes can last days if not weeks or longer -Don't fuck with her -Obviously, sex is *always* kinky with her, there are no plain vanilla nights

Okay, so i don't really know what direction you were wanting me to go with that, but that's what you got LOL. feel free to check out either of their masterlists or hit up the inbox for more thoughts! <3

#heather dunbar #elizabeth keane #elizabeth marvel #house of cards #homeland

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sweetestofchaos · 2 years ago

Text

TOTW Chapter 1

paring: ot7 x oc!hybrid rating/genre/au: PG-16, Angst, Fluff, Parent AU, Hybrid AU, Non-Idol AU warnings: Mentions Of Death, Crying, Feelings Of Loss By A Child, Child Abandonment, Child Neglect (not graphic), Hybrid Trafficking, Alpaca!Seokjin, Pied-Bellied Shield Tail Snake!Yoongi, Human!Namjoon, Human!Hoseok, Human!Jimin, Human!Taehyung, Kangaroo!Jungkook, Quoll!OC wc: 7.2K

“Home isn't where you're from, it's where you find light when all grows dark.”― Pierce Brown

a/n 1: Okay, it’s here...finally. It took me a while to figure out a few minor/major things, but now that I have them, this bad boy can start taking off. Thank you so much for reading and I hope that you enjoy Imani’s crazy journey with BTS as they learn each others heart. If you would like to be added to the taglist just let me know!

a/n 2: @quirkybtsarmy and @namjinsmoonchile are my wonderful betas for this chapter. Thanks for working with me!

taglist: @elliedearest

series masterlist 🌻character profiles

previous II next

The room is filled with soft murmurs and sniffles from humans and hybrids alike, as they stand in line to pay their respects. A man with dark brown hair stands silently off to the side farthest away from the casket holding onto a small hand. Beside him, a little girl, no older than four stands dressed in all black with tears rolling down her face. Two little black ears are folded downward towards her head, nearly hidden in the thick mass of curls while her spotted tail wraps around her calf limply.

Person after person pats the little girl’s head and offers words of comfort making more tears spill down the girl’s face. The man beside her sighs and crouches down to her level, “I know it hurts. I’m hurting too. We’re almost done, okay? Hold on just a little longer and then we can go home.” The little girl nods her head at the man’s words, and he pets her head, gently scratching around the base of her furry ears.

“Oh, Vincent!” A larger older woman throws herself at Vincent once he stands, nearly knocking him to the floor. “Lisa was such a good woman. I can’t believe she’s gone!” The woman wails and Imani whines softly in her throat at the woman’s words. She’s gone…mommy isn’t coming back.

“O-okay, Edith. It’s okay.” Vincent rubs the older woman’s back with a sigh. “We’ll get through this together.”

Edith pulls herself away from Vincent and wipes at her eyes, “I know you will dear. You’ve done such a fine job helping Lisa, raise her…daughter. I never would have pegged you as the family man.” Edith turns her eyes to Imani and frowns. “Raising a hybrid on your own, you are a Godsend!”

Vincent shakes his head, “I’m just happy that Lisa granted me custody of Imani before she-” Vincent clears his throat and places his arm around Imani’s shoulders, pulling her closer to his side. “I’m just happy Imani is finally mine.”

2 months later

Imani fights back tears as she sits in the large blue seat beside Vincent. There are a lot of voices and different smells that make Imani’s heightened senses react badly. She can’t stop sneezing and Vincent has already yelled at her about making a scene in public. A flight attendant walks down the aisle with a smile on her face as she checks on everyone before the flight starts. There are two orange triangles on the top of her head along with a bright orange tail with a white tip. She spots Imani and stops beside Vincent.

“Sir, would you like a pair of noise canceling headphones for her? We spray scent blockers throughout the cabin right before takeoff, so the flight should be more bearable for her.”

Vincent stares up at the fox hybrid and frowns, “Is that extra?”

The smile on the woman’s face drops a little at the question, “No sir. The headphones are free.”

“Yeah, you can give her a pair.”

The fox runs off to get Imani a pair of noise canceling headphones and she even grabs a fresh blanket that is still in its packaging. She remembers her first flight; it was terrifying, and she was much older than the little hybrid. She hopes that the blanket will help comfort the little girl. As the fox hybrid returns to Imani’s aisle, she notices that the man is not beside her. She offers the young girl a smile, “Do you know that man, sweetie?” The fox hybrid questions with a soft smile on her face and Imani nods her head.

“That’s Vincent, we’re going on a twip.”

The hybrid frowns at the news, but quickly slaps another smile onto her face, “That’s nice.” She holds out the headphones and blanket. “These headphones will help quiet everything down and this blanket is super soft. It’s perfect to sleep with or just hold.” Imani stares at the blanket and the woman laughs softly. “Would you like me to help you put the headphones on?” Imani nods her head, and the fox hybrid carefully sets the headphones on top of Imani’s head, making sure not to mash her ears down.

“Better?” Imani gives a thumbs up and the hybrid’s smile widens. She notices Vincent coming back and sighs before she gives Imani the blanket. “Try to get some rest dear, okay?” Imani nods her head, and the fox hybrid leaves before Vincent can tell her to move out of his way.

Soon after Vincent sits down, the flight attendants spray the scent blocker as the plane starts to roll down the runway. Imani squeezes the blanket tightly in her hands as the plane lifts into the air and she whines low in her throat as the plane starts to shake. Ignoring the sounds that Imani makes, Vincent puts his own headphones in his ears and listens to music, closing his eyes and ignoring the world around him. Imani reaches out for Vincent’s hand and flinches when he pulls his hand away from her.

“Vegas baby!”

“Woooo!”

Jimin and Hoseok are screaming out the windows of their fancy rental car while Seokjin drives. Music blares from the speakers and Namjoon sighs, shaking his head at his mates.

“Get in the car, crazies!” Yoongi hisses and he quickly grabs the back of their shirts, pulling them into the car. “Do you want to get arrested?”

“Hyung, they won’t arrest us for shouting,” Jimin laughs and Jungkook nods his head in agreement.

“It’s Vegas, Hyung. I’m sure they’ve seen a lot worse.”

Namjoon glances at the others in the rearview mirror from his seat beside Seokjin, “Does everyone remember the game plan for tonight?”

“Ice cream!”

“Movie!”

“Dinner!”

The three youngest in the group all shout over each other and Hoseok laughs. “Dinner, movie and then ice cream…maybe we can see the water show after if our baby mates aren’t too tuckered out.”

“Hey! I have more stamina than a horse!” Jungkook puffs out his chest proudly and Jimin is quick to cuddle into his side.

“Yes, you do,” Jimin purrs and Jungkook’s whole face heats up making everyone laugh.

“Did you guys decide on a movie?” Seokjin prompts from the front seat and Taehyung nods his head.

“Where are we eating, Hyung?” Hoseok questions turning his eyes towards Namjoon who is scrolling through his phone.

“Made a reservation at Bazaar Meats, thinking we could have something fun.”

The ride to the hotel is filled with laughter and shouting as everyone talks over each other. Las Vegas, the city of sin, the first vacation that everyone is able to spend together in a very long time thanks to Jimin’s dance studio having to participate in a competition here. The dance competition is only four days long, but Jimin will stay behind with his mates for a total of six days and fly back to South Korea on the seventh day. Seokjin smiles as he stops at a red light and watches as people cross the street, men, women, and children of all ages just enjoying the nightlife.

Their plane landed an hour ago and it took a while to get everything together for the rental car, there was a screw up on the dealer's part. Now, once they get to the hotel, everyone will wash up and relax for an hour before they have to leave for Bazaar Meats. Seokjin is thinking that dinner will take at least two hours with a group as large as theirs and the movie will be at least an hour and a half; so, it will be a long night. Seokjin’s fluffy cream colored tail twitches in excitement and he finds himself smiling as the light turns green.

“What are you smiling about, Jinnie hyung?” Namjoon wonders and Seokjin’s furry ears twitch at the question.

“When was the last time we were all together like this, Joon? Huh?” Seokjin’s smile stretches farther onto his face. “This is just really nice, that’s all.”

Imani’s heart is pounding in her chest harshly, her eyes darting around from side to side taking in all the unfamiliar scents that are surrounding her. She wants to leave. She wants to leave this unfamiliar place right now. Artificial light seeps into the slits of her carrier and Imani cries softly, her weak cp-cps filling the air as doors slam loudly in the distance. She can’t see much from inside her carrier, but she can smell Vincent, at least he is still with her. The sound of a door opening catches Imani’s attention and Vincent walks farther into the room before he shuts it behind him.

Everything is silent and Imani can only smell Vincent’s cologne. Imani’s cage is jostled as it’s set down and soon Imani is blinded by bright white lights as Vincent removes the top of her carrier. There is a camera sitting on a tripod and it’s pointed directly at Imani. Her ears press down flat against her head and her tail curls up tightly by her side as she stares at the camera.

“Come on, get out.” Vincent is firm with his words and scruffs Imani by the back of her neck before he picks Imani up and sets her on the tabletop. “Walk in a circle.”

Imani whines, the fur on her little face wet with tears as she tries to backtrack into the carrier.

“Imani,” Vincent warns and Imani freezes. She doesn’t like it when Vincent uses that tone of voice, it’s not a nice voice. Trembling, Imani walks farther into the middle of the table, and she carefully walks in a large circle before he looks up at Vincent. There are three knocks at the door and Vincent grins before he pats the top of Imani’s head. “Good girl, Imani.” Vincent sets the top of the carrier down on the table and slides the small crossbody bag off his body, setting it beside the carrier as well.

“You are staying here now, okay? Listen to what you’re told and be a good girl.”

Imani cries and scurries to the edge of the table trying to latch onto Vincent’s arm but she’s not fast enough. Vincent is out of the room and Imani starts to chirp in distress, not liking being left alone. Hurrying into the carrier, Imani burrows under the blanket that is in there and curls into the smallest ball that she can. She cries and cries, wishing that Vincent would come back and take her home. She wants to go home!

The door to the room opens and the scent of amethyst and smoke fills the room. Footsteps get closer and closer to the table and Imani growls in warning. Leave. I’m scared. I’m scared. Leave.

“Hey…” The voice is clipped but friendly. “Do you want to shift? We can get ice cream…d-do you like ice cream?”

Imani’s eyes twitch at the mention of ice cream and she chirps softly. Someone laughs and the blanket covering Imani is removed. Imani blinks at the bright lights and she sees a woman staring at her with the cross bag in her hands.

“Come on, let's get some ice cream.”

Standing in line at The Milk Bar, Jimin giggles as Taehyung’s hair tickles his chin as the taller mate kisses his exposed shoulder. Taehyung peppers closed mouth kisses to Jimin’s neck and shoulder while holding him gently in his arms. There are so many people around and Taehyung would hate to lose sight of Jimin in the crowd. Giggling, Jimin tries to push Taehyung’s head away from him and being unsuccessful, he huffs and crosses his arm over his chest.

Deciding to try and focus on the menu, Jimin lifts his face, and his eyes meet a set of dark brown eyes. Jimin looks at the little girl standing in front of him, and she has to be the most adorable baby he has ever seen. Her hair is dark and curly, pulled into a large puff of hair; almost hiding the set of black furry ears on her head and she has a matching tail that is curled around her leg. Her outfit is cute too, a deep pink sweater that’s tucked into baggy jeans with white Nikes.

Jimin offers the child a smile and she is quick to duck around her guardian’s legs making Jimin frown. He hopes he didn’t scare the little girl. Before Jimin can dwell on the thought for long, the little girl pops her head back around the woman’s legs and Jimin grins. Oh. She wants to play with him! Wanting to indulge such a sweet child, Jimin lifts his hands to his face and covers his eyes. He pulls his hands away and the girl’s own tiny hands are covering her face. Jimin keeps his fingers in front of his mouth to muffle his laughter as the little girl pulls her hands away and her eyes widen when Jimin quickly covers his face back up.

“What are you doing, love?” Taehyung questions when he notices that Jimin is moving a lot in his arms.

“I’m playing peek-a-boo!” Jimin chuckles and Taehyung looks ahead to see the cutest little hybrid girl ever covering her face like Jimin with a smile on her face. “Do you want to play with us?” Jimin offers and Taehyung grins, nodding his head. Unwrapping his arms from around Jimin’s waist, Taehyung keeps his hands placed on Jimin’s hips and he ducks down behind Jimin’s shoulders.

Jimin’s whole body shakes as he laughs and when Taehyung pops back up to look over Jimin’s shoulder the little girl’s eyes are wide in delight at having two friends to play with. Taehyung notices that the girl’s tail is swaying lightly behind her and the ears on top of her head are pointed in their direction which makes Taehyung grin.

“Hello, baby!” Taehyung is unable to stop himself from talking to the little girl; noticing that the young woman she is with is paying the little girl no mind as she blabbers away on the phone.

“Helwo!” The little girl chirps and Taehyung is in love, what a sweet little voice.

Hearing the little girl’s voice, the woman stops talking on the phone and turns around with a glare on her face. She frowns at Jimin and Taehyung before she grabs hold of the little girl’s hand and pulls her to stand in front of her.

“What did I say, huh? Don’t talk to anyone.”

Taehyung frowns hearing that, and he notices that the little girl’s ears drop and her tail wraps tightly around her calf. Jimin laces his fingers with Taehyung’s and leans back into his chest, “It’s okay TaeTae. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Jimin knows that Taehyung’s feelings are hurt, and he frowns slightly seeing that the little girl is now upset as well.

“Oh! It’s about to be our turn. Get the guys!” Jimin pushes Taehyung away from him and Taehyung walks over to the others that were sitting farther back to keep out of the way. Jimin watches Taehyung walk away and when he turns back around the little girl is no longer standing in front of him and Jimin sighs. Well at least he was able to brighten up her night a little bit.

The others come to Jimin’s side, and he smiles leaning into Yoongi’s side while everyone places their order. Yoongi hands Jimin his ice cream and Jungkook bounces on the ball of his feet, his long tan tail bobbing with his movement.

“Hyung! Hyung c-can we walk to the fountains? I wanna walk and eat my ice cream!” The tan ears on top of Jungkook’s head twitch as he waits for any of his older mates to answer him and Yoongi looks around at everyone before he raises an eyebrow at Seokjin. Seokjin’s ears twitch as a cool wind blows and he nods his head while licking at the ice cream on his spoon.

“Are you okay walking and eating Kookie?” Namjoon jokes and Jungkook’s nose scrunches up before he laughs at Namjoon who drops the spoon in his hand.

“Are you okay walking and eating, Hyung?” Jungkook teases and everyone laughs while Namjoon’s ears darken in embarrassment.

Shaking his head, Seokjin grabs Namjoon another spoon before they all start to walk to the Bellagio Fountains which according to Hoseok’s phone is only twelve minutes away. Walking hand in hand with Seokjin, Yoongi keeps his eyes trained on the people around them. There is a nice mixture of humans and hybrids walking around, a few people gawk at Jungkook because of his tail. A Kangaroo hybrid is extremely rare. There are only fifteen of them in the world currently, Jungkook’s family making up four of them. They weren’t always rare but before the hybrid care act was passed, most of them were bred for the fighting rings and either died in the ring or had to be put down for being feral.

Reaching the fountains, Yoongi and Jimin snap photos as Jungkook, Taehyung and Hoseok pose in front of the water. Namjoon and Seokjin pose together and Yoongi smiles, he’s glad that he took off work to come to Las Vegas. Looking up from his phone, Yoongi notices Taehyung is looking off in the distance and before he can say anything, Taehyung is pulling Jimin by the wrist away from the fountains. Maybe he just had to use the restroom.

“T-Tae what are you doing?” Jimin whines, his heeled boots clicking loudly on the pavement as he tries to keep up with Taehyung’s wide strides. “Tae?” Jimin tries to pull his hand free from Taehyung’s grasps but it’s no use.

“Jimin, look. I-isn’t that the little girl from before?” Taehyung turns Jimin’s attention to a small hybrid girl dressed in the same pink sweater and baggy jeans, the only difference in her appearance is that there is no smile on her face, and she looks close to tears. Also, the woman from before is nowhere to be found, a large man twice the size of Namjoon and Jungkook combined is standing with the girl. He has no hair and there is a large spider web tattoo on the back of his neck.

“Tae…” Jimin squeezes Taehyung’s hand feeling his heart throb painfully at the sight of the little hybrid.

“Get Yoongi Hyung, quick!” Taehyung lets go of Jimin’s hand and Jimin hesitates.

“W-what are you gonna do?” Jimin worries and Taehyung offers him that wide smile. “Tae-”

“Go, we have to make sure she’s okay.”

Jimin nods his head and hurries off towards his mates, praying that nothing bad is happening to that sweet child. Taehyung straightens his tie and runs a hand through his hair, pushing it from his forehead briefly before he squares his shoulders and walks over towards the larger man. He notices that the man is on the phone and Taehyung easily stands in the man’s blind spot. The little girl looks at him and he smiles softly at her.

Tears start to fall from her eyes and Taehyung gulps; clearly something is wrong here. Taehyung tries to get a good look at the man and his blood runs cold when he overhears the man mention the HBM, the hybrid black market. Taehyung tries to remember what he’s heard about the HBM from the news and there should be some kind of mark on the man signaling that he’s a part of the group.

In the distance, Taehyung can see his mates coming his way and he makes the split decision to save the little girl. Taking a deep breath, Taehyung waves the little girl over with a tight smile and she runs into his arms crying. Her cries draw the man’s attention to Taehyung and Taehyung quickly scoops the little girl up in his arms.

“Hey!” The man snaps and the girl starts to wail loudly drawing even more eyes onto the three of them.

“What’s going on?”

“Taehyung?”

“What’s wrong?”

Yoongi easily puts himself between Taehyung and the man while Seokjin wraps his arms around Taehyung trying to help soothe the little girl. Jungkook and Namjoon stand on either side of Yoongi glaring at the man while a crowd starts to form.

“Give me my kid back.” The man demands and Jimin speaks up with a shake of his head.

“She’s not yours! You stole her!”

Shocked gasps ring out and people are starting to record the whole thing while others call the police.

“W-What?” The man is shaking, his eyes wide with rage as he tries to reach past the guys. Yoongi hisses and the man flinches away staring at Yoongi confused. “Y-You’re a hybrid?”

“I can smell them on you,” Yoongi growls, keeping his words vague, and the man is starting to sweat. This wasn’t part of the plan…damnit!

Sirens go off and the man curses before he makes a break for it. Jungkook and Yoongi take off after him along with three officers. People are shouting for the man to stop, and two other officers walk over to the rest of the group.

“Can someone explain what’s going on?”

“Is anyone hurt?”

Namjoon steps towards the offers and scratches the back of his neck, “We think the man that ran away is part of the HBM.” Namjoon motions to the little girl in Taehyung’s arms who is still crying. “We don’t know where she was taken from…but we saw her about fifteen minutes ago with someone else.”

Taehyung hands the girl to Seokjin and Seokjin coos as her little hands grab fist fulls of his fluffy cardigan. Seokjin rubs his chin lightly against her head, scenting the little girl quietly as he starts to rock her in his arms. Taehyung stands beside Namjoon and explains everything he saw and heard to the cops. By the end of his explanation, the cops are shaking his hand.

“Would you all mind coming down to the station? We need to handle this in a timely manner so that these sickos don’t get away.”

“Yeah, we can do that…” Namjoon looks at Seokjin who is still holding the little girl in his arms, sound asleep it seems while he rubs her back. The girl’s tail is loosely wrapped around Seokjin’s wrist and it’s getting more and more limp. “What about the girl?” Namjoon questions and the cops look at the two hybrids.

“Is he an omega by chance?”

“Yes, he’s the pack omega.” Namjoon answers and the cops nod their heads.

“It’s not protocol, but would he mind riding with us? One of you can come along too.”

“I’ll go!” Taehyung volunteers and Namjoon levels him with a good look before he nods his head.

“Stay with Hyung, we’ll be right behind you, guys.” Namjoon kisses Taehyung’s temple and hugs him tightly. Jimin and Hoseok kiss Seokjin’s lips before they turn their attention to Taehyung and kiss him as well. Namjoon cups Seokjin’s cheek and smiles, “Be safe.”

The officer's walkie talkies go off and everyone listens as they are informed that the man from earlier has been caught thanks to the Kangaroo hybrid, but he’s been hurt.

“What?!” Seokjin’s face goes pale and Jimin is quick to help support the little girl in Seokjin’s arms. “My…my Kookie is hurt?”

“Hey, Jin…” Namjoon shakes his head. “Focus, okay? Yoongi Hyung is with him, he’s okay. I’ll stay behind here and wait for the others. Hoseok, head to the station with everyone else. I’ll give you a call the moment I get word of Kook’s condition.”

“I can do that. Jimin, what are you gonna do?” Hoseok questions and Jimin chews on his bottom lip. He wants to check on Jungkook, but he can’t leave Taehyung or the little girl.

“I-I’ll go with them,” Jimin reaches for Taehyung’s hand and the two lace their fingers together. “But Joon, shouldn’t you come with us? You’re better at English than the rest of us.” Jimin points out and Hoseok has to agree. He can understand a lot, but he knows he would struggle to answer some questions that the cops might ask.

“Shit, right…Um Hobi do you mind staying behind?”

“I’ll keep you posted,” Hoseok reassures everyone as Namjoon digs in Seokjin’s pocket and tosses the keys to Hoseok. Hoseok watches everyone else follow behind the cops to their cruiser. Seokjin and Taehyung sit in the back with the little girl while Namjoon sits in the front seat of the other cruiser with Jimin in the back seat. Hoseok sighs and runs a hand through his hair. So much for a relaxing vacation.

Seokjin is a blubbering mess as he listens to the loud chirps and cries of distress from the little girl in the room down the hall. Since none of the guys are family members, the doctors on staff made them leave and the little girl has been calling for help ever since. It’s breaking Seokjin’s heart, his natural animal instincts going crazy as the others hold him back from breaking down the door. Seokjin is crying in Taehyung’s arms while Namjoon and Jimin are explaining everything to the cops. Hoseok is keeping his eyes on Seokjin while Yoongi is watching over Jungkook as a doctor patches up a few cuts on his face. Jungkook was able to catch up to the man and they got into a fight, Jungkook being a Kangaroo gave him a huge advantage, but Yoongi thinks it’s because Jungkook is a personal trainer more than anything.

“Aren’t they done yet?” Seokjin snaps trying to get out of Taehyung’s arms.

“Hyung,” Hoseok warns softly and Seokjin glares at him.

“She’s scared!” Seokjin growls and Yoongi hisses under his breath. Seeing his pack omega so upset makes his alpha uneasy plus he can smell mildew and rancid water seeping from the door that the hybrid girl is in. She isn’t scared, she’s absolutely terrified. The cries stop suddenly and Seokjin jumps to his feet, pushing Taehyung away from him. Yoongi goes to his side and grabs Seokjin’s wrist, pushing his own fresh dried laundry scent out to help soothe the older omega. Seokjin’s eyes narrow as he walks closer to the door, his calming lavender and vanilla scent burnt and bitter.

The door opens and two doctors step out, their faces drawn into a neutral mask of indifference as they spot Seokjin and Yoongi. The one doctor is a calico cat hybrid, and she can smell the unpleasantness of Seokjin’s displeasure.

“She shifted the moment she woke up, so we weren’t able to check her human form very well. She’s sleeping for now. We chose to sedate her so that she wouldn’t hurt herself in her panic.” The doctor keeps her eyes locked with Seokjin as she speaks. “She’s malnourished, but thankfully there are no other signs of physical abuse.”

Seokjin lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, and Yoongi squeezes his hand tightly, “What’s her story?” Yoongi questions slowly, doing his best to make sure the doctors understand his English. He may not know the little girl but she’s just a child and he will do anything to help make sure she’s safe.

The hybrid doctor smiles softly realizing that they must not be from the States. She speaks slowly, “We can’t say for sure. Not until her blood results come back from the lab…but I would say a female Quoll between the age of three and five based on her size.”

“What happens to her now?” Seokjin mumbles, feeling a headache starting to form from all the adrenaline rushing through his body starting to fade.

“That’s up to the cops. Most children her age that are part of the HBM are usually bred for it or sold into it. That bunch knows better than to kidnap anyone nowadays. The laws supporting hybrids have made sure of that.”

Seokjin frowns at that news. He would much rather the young girl have been stolen from a loving home than to have been sold to the black market. Yoongi bows to the doctors and Seokjin follows along making the doctors both stare at them with wide eyes.

“Thank you, doctor.” Yoongi stands and pulls Seokjin back to the group, seeing that Namjoon and Jimin have joined them again.

“What did the doctors say?” Taehyung asks, his dark eyes swimming with a million questions.

Seokjin slumps down into his seat beside Taehyung and Yoongi sighs, “She is a rare breed. A Quoll and they aren’t sure of her age because she’s malnourished. They think she might be three or five.”

“Oh, pup…” Jungkook whispers, his bottom lip quivering as he thinks of all the horrors that little girl must have faced all on her own.

Namjoon clears his throat, gaining everyone’s attention, “The cops said that she was sold to an orphanage that has ties to the HBM. They are going to investigate her family to see what happened.”

“What happens if she has no one?” Jimin worries and everyone stares at each other.

“Pack Alpha…” Taehyung stares at Yoongi with wet eyes and Seokjin joins him followed closely behind by Jimin and Jungkook.

Yoongi narrows his slitted eyes and Namjoon sighs while Hoseok chuckles. “Fine…let’s put it to a vote.”

Taehyung, Seokjin, Jimin and Jungkook’s hands all shoot up while Hoseok raises his hand with a shake of his head. Namjoon looks at his mates and thinks over everything that would change if they were to adopt a hybrid child. It’s always been something that they’ve all talked about, Seokjin is the only one that can carry a child but none of them are the same breed, so it doesn’t matter…plus the success rate of a hybrid and human couple having a child is less than forty percent.

None of them want to put Seokjin through that kind of emotional trauma. Namjoon thinks of the guest room on the nesting floor and what it would be like to hear a child’s laughter fill their home. Namjoon smiles fondly and raises his hand. Yoongi nods his head and licks his lips, his forked tongue tasting the hope in the air.

“Joon, go talk to the cops, let them know we would like to start the adoption process right away if we can.”

“Really?” Taehyung’s voice is filled with tears and Seokjin starts crying again while Jimin and Jungkook tear up. Hobi grins as he holds Jungkook and Yoongi nods his head, smiling at his pack.

“We have the room and we’ve all talked about adopting before…now seems like a good time, right?”

Namjoon and Jimin stay in Las Vegas while the rest of the pact head back to South Korea. Everyone was on edge about leaving but Seokjin thought it best to get a head start on child proofing. Jimin wanted to help too but he still has to take care of his dancers and finish the competition. Namjoon makes sure to keep the guys updated with any new information and so far, he has learned a lot about the little hybrid, Imani. The child has had a rough few months from what the police have told Namjoon.

Her father died two years after she was born, and her mother was killed in a hit and run two months ago. Imani’s godfather was found to have signed over his right to Imani and sold her to the orphanage for a large sum of money. Vincent Ortiz is currently on the run with his face on the news, often. Namjoon knows that there is an extremely slim chance that he will ever meet the man, but if he ever does…he might just kill him.

Imani Kim is a four year old Quoll that is biracial. Her mother was an African American woman named Lisa Jackson, and her father was a Korean American hybrid man named Heechul Kim. The police searched around Imani’s old neighborhood and found bits and pieces from the ajumma next door, about Imani’s life with her mother. Imani knows a little Korean, mostly the basic words and a handful of simple phrases. Namjoon thinks it’s nice that Lisa was so determined to keep Imani’s father’s culture alive. Not that Namjoon has heard Imani speak at all, the poor girl refuses to shift into her human form.

Now, Namjoon is sitting down with a child social services case worker to determine if Namjoon and his pack would be suitable parents for Imani. The case worker is an older man in his late sixties that reminds Namjoon of the old man that played with puppets, Mister Roger but with a thick gray goatee and handlebar mustache. The man’s name is Nathaniel, and he goes by Mister Fentin. Mister Fentin is an omega Dunnart hybrid which puts Namjoon at ease since the older man is also in the Dasyuromorphia family like Imani.

“Mister Kim?”

Namjoon is pulled from his thoughts at the sound of Mister Fentin’s voice, and the older man smiles kindly, wrinkles crinkling in the corners of his golden-brown eyes.

“Mister Kim…would you like to see Imani today? All the paperwork has been filled out on your part. This interview is just about over unless you have any more questions for me?”

Namjoon glances at the glass window beside him where Imani is currently climbing up a rope to reach a fake tree branch. Since she refuses to shift, the staff in the current orphanage have kept Imani in the hybrid enclosure to keep her safe and content.

“What if she doesn’t like me?” Namjoon finds himself wondering out loud and Mister Fentin offers Namjoon a soft smile.

“Imani has been through a lot. She is dealing with a lot of stress which is why she won’t shift, I believe. Her animal counterpart is protecting her the best way it knows how.” Mister Fentin starts to tidy up the papers on the table and stands to his feet once everything is put away neatly in a binder. “In her current state of mind, this is the best way to introduce you. Did you bring the article of clothing that I told you about?”

“Yes.” Namjoon is glad that Seokjin was smart enough to leave him with the cardigan from the night they meant Imani.

“Good. From what I’ve read, I think having the scent of your partner will help smooth things along. Imani felt safe with the omega…alpaca?”

“Yes, Seokjin is an alpaca. He’s the pack omega.”

“Wonderful! I would also like to confirm something with your pack omega’s scent as well.” Mister Fentin explains vaguely and Namjoon nods his head. “Come now Mister Kim, I’m sure Imani will like you just fine.”

Namjoon follows Mister Fentin out into the hallway, and they stand in front of the door leading into the hybrid playroom. Mister Fentin places his hand on the doorknob and looks at Namjoon over his shoulder, “Slowly count to thirty and then come inside the room. Have that article of clothing ready in your hands.” Mister Fentin opens the door wide enough to slip inside and the moment the door shuts, Namjoon starts to count to thirty.

Namjoon’s hands feel sweaty, the dampness seeping into the cardigan that Seokjin left behind and Namjoon worries that his scent will overpower the alpaca’s. What if Imani wants nothing to do with Namjoon? What if she only wants Seokjin? Namjoon frowns at the thought, sure he can fully understand why that could be the case, but he hopes that Imani will give him a chance. Done with counting to thirty, Namjoon takes a deep breath to try and slow his rapidly beating heart. He reaches for the door handle and twists his wrist, slowly opening the door. Stepping inside the room, Namjoon shuts the door behind him, and he sees Mister Fentin sitting in a chair beside the door with an easy smile on his face.

Namjoon lets his eyes sweep the room and he can’t find Imani at all. Namjoon glances at Mister Fentin and the older man chuckles seeing the confused twist to Namjoon’s brows. He offers no advice as he stares at Namjoon and Namjoon licks his lips. Okay. It’s okay, he can do this. Namjoon wracked his brain trying to remember what he did the first time Yoongi ever shifted and he shakes his head. No. No, that won’t work. The first time Yoongi ever shifted, Namjoon damn near had a heart attack at the sight of the black snake hanging from one of his plants. What would Seokjin do? Namjoon looks down at the cardigan in his hand and bites the inside of his cheek. Nesting! That’s what omegas do and it’s a comfort to everyone.

Namjoon walks into the middle of the room and kneels on the floor, taking extra care not to drop Seokjin’s yellow cardigan as he removes his own tan one. Carefully, Namjoon tries to mimic the nest that Seokjin has made a million times in his bed. It’s hard to do with only two things, so Namjoon looks around and finds four pillows of different sizes that he incorporates into the nest too. It’s not the best-looking nest, Namjoon doesn’t have to be a hybrid to know that.

From somewhere in the room a soft clucking is heard before Namjoon notices a small set of black ears peeking out from a boxed perch on the wall. Slowly, Imani lifts her head and stares at Namjoon on the floor below. She sniffs the air again to make sure her nose isn’t mistaking. The scent of lavender and vanilla, it isn’t as strong as she remembers, but it’s in the room.

Again, Imani starts to cluck, calling for the owner of the lovely scent. She stares at Namjoon, taking him in fully. There aren’t any ears on top of his head, just a mop of perfectly brushed slate blue hair and there is no tail in sight either. Imani cries, hiding back inside the perch and Mister Fentin watches as Namjoon scratches the back of his head.

“Why don’t you try talking to her, Mister Kim? Maybe a song? Her m-o-t-h-e-r was a singer after all.”

“She was?” Namjoon is surprised by that bit of information. He’s never heard of Lisa Jackson, at least he doesn’t think he has.

“Oh yes. Missus Lisa was a well-known Broadway singer on the east coast.”

Namjoon tucks that nugget of knowledge in the back of his mind for later. He glances up at where Imani is hidden and decides that a song couldn’t hurt. Clearing his throat, Namjoon sighs, “Imani? My name is Namjoon…I’m a friend of Jin. He’s the man that was wearing the yellow cardigan. He gave me this because he thought you might like it.” Namjoon can see movement from inside the perch, but he stares straight ahead at the wall. “Mister Fentin tells me that you like singing. Can I sing a song for you? My voice isn’t the best but it’s always fun to sing, right?”

Mister Fentin smiles at Namjoon’s words and writes a few notes inside his binder. Namjoon thinks of a song that Imani might know and one comes right to mind. The theme for the dance competition that Jimin’s currently a part of is broadways and one of the songs is from The Greatest Showman. Namjoon sighs and starts singing, trying his best not to care that he’s singing in front of Mister Fentin too.

Some people long for a life that is simple and planned

Tied with a ribbon

Some people won't sail the sea 'cause they're safer on land

To follow what's written

But I'd follow you to the great unknown

Off to a world we call our own

Imani’s ears twitch as Namjoon sings. His voice is rough, he must not sing very often but it’s not something Imani dislikes. His voice is low, but Imani’s ears are stronger than a human's. She can hear Namjoon clearly. Pulling herself up on the ledge of the perch, Imani stares at Namjoon and listens to him sing. Her nose wiggles as she sniffs the air again, breathing in the scent of lavender and vanilla, it calls to her. Imani chirps before she walks across the little wooden bridge to the next perch, taking her time to paddle down, lower, and lower towards the floor. On the last perch, Imani jumps off and lands on the padded mat that is supposed to resemble grass.

Hand in my hand

And we promised to never let go

We're walking a tightrope

High in the sky

We can see the whole world down below

We're walking a tightrope

Never sure, never know how far we could fall

But it's all an adventure

That comes with a breathtaking view

Walking a tightrope

Namjoon’s heart is pounding in his chest with each step that Imani takes closer and closer to him. She’s so small, probably only six inches in length at most, not even large enough to cover his forearm. He’s pretty sure that Imani will fit in the palm of his hand, no problem. The blood rushing behind Namjoon’s ears is so loud, loud enough to muffle his own voice…is he singing too loudly? Imani stops at the edge of the makeshift nest and the scent is so much stronger here. Imani noses at the nest and whines as one of the pillows falls. Namjoon slowly reaches out and picks Imani up, she weighs nothing to him, and sets her in the middle of the nest, quickly fixing the knocked over pillow.

Imani walks around in a circle five times before she settles down in the nest, against the wall closest to Namjoon. She rests her head on the edge of the nest, her snout tucked tightly against Seokjin’s cardigan as she stares up at Namjoon. Namjoon’s voice wavers as he stares down at Imani, how can she be so small? Namjoon knows from research that Imani will get a little bigger. If anything, she’ll grow at least another foot or so at the most. Imani huffs out a breath and a large smile pulls at Namjoon’s lips, his dimples sinking into his cheeks as he stares at Imani fondly.

“Would you like for me to keep singing?” Namjoon questions softly and Imani barks lightly, shuffling closer to Namjoon, her nose almost touching his knee though Seokjin’s cardigan. “Okay…I’ll keep going.” Namjoon continues to sing ‘Tightrope’ and Imani finds herself drawn more and more to him. She crawls out of the nest and climbs onto Namjoon’s right thigh, chirping lightly when Namjoon starts to scratch behind her ears. She hums low in the back of her throat and closes her eyes; the sound is close to a purr but not as smooth. Namjoon’s smile softens as Imani presses her snout into the fold of his shirt that touches his waist, and he can feel the warm puffs of her breath as she breathes in his scent. Imani settles more in Namjoon’s lap, he smells like ocean rain, one of the purest scents that Imani can remember smelling.

Against the wall Mister Fentin scribbles away in his binder with a knowing smile on his face. What a wonderful thing it is to witness the effects of a parental imprint in person.

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#bts hybrid au #bts parent au #bts fluff #bts x black!oc #tw crying #tw child abandonment #totw ch 1 #soc bts

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