#it came with a read more link bc i suck at formatting

[georgevilliers]

Tessa Virtue

Life Path: 22

Birth Day Number: 17

First Period Cycle: 5

First Pinnacle Cycle: 4

Challenges: 3, 1, 2, 4

Destiny/Expression: 7

Soul Urge/Heart Desire: 7

Personality: 9

Hidden Passion: 1

Karmic Lessons: 7 and 8

Balance: 2

Life Path 22: The Master Builder

Life Path 22 is what we call a Master Life Path. It is a powerful combination of life paths 4 and 11 and therefore can cause a lot of confusion but harness a lot of potential. They have an an uncanny spiritual connection and can apply metaphysical knowledge to daily life. Their intuitive nature can find the very best, or the very worst, in every person. They feel an innate connection to the stars and often find themselves getting lost while stargazing. We all know we come from star stuff, but they feel it more intensely than the rest of us. 22′s fear failure, as the burden of potential they bear is large, and they require a lot of support from the people in their life. They are not just the dreamers of dreams, they are facilitators of greatness. They have the intuitive insights of life path 11, combined with the practical nature of life path 4. Their thoughts hold incredible power, and likely always come true. Success of the 22′s can be delicate as it exists by the virtue of their dreams and visions. They can be romantic, but often times impersonal. They are often more focused on their dreams. 22 can be seen as the most promising number, they have great ambition, are a great supporter and steady partner in relationships, and offer sound advice and emotional support.  They are practical, do not suffer from flights of fancy, and while they can be unconventional in thoughts and actions they are good at translating that to appear traditional.  22′s are excellent leaders. They have the vision, the intuition, the business and political sense, and common sense, in order to accomplish their larger than life dreams and ambitions. In alignment, a 22 is dependable, stable, productive, loyal, trustworthy, and hardworking. Out of alignment, they can be rigid, bossy, blunt, fearful of taking risks, unorganized, careless, think too small, and overwhelmed.

Crystals: clear quartz, green tourmaline

Planet: Pluto

Zodiac: Scorpio

Tarot Card: The Fool

Key Meditation Words: attainment, integration, prosperity, completeness, peace, limitless potential

Birth Day: 17

17′s are highly ambitious, blessed with business and financial instincts. Their approach to business is creative and daring. They are highly independent, and an excellent manager and organizer. They are highly gifted in their ability to see the larger picture, and how small details come into play. This makes them highly effective at handling large projects.

First Period Cycle: 5

A 5′s first period cycle involves a lot of change, freedom, and travel. They have a flair for successfully promoting themselves. They will visit many foreign places and encounter many new ideas and people. Seek change and take ahold of new opportunities. 

First Pinnacle Cycle: 4

This pinnacle cycle consists of hard work and many rewards. They have the opportunity to build a strong foundation that will last. They are dependable and reliable. 

Challenges: 3, 1, 2, 4

First challenge 3: They are their own worst critic. They suppress their individuality and creativity because of self-doubt. They are far harder on themselves than anyone else in their life is, so they tend to play it safe by not expressing deep emotions and indulging in superficialities. They can feel lonely, and fear social interaction. They should seek out a creative output, like drawing, dance, singing etc. The crux of this challenge is to bring out the true self. They must learn to value their creative talents above judgement of others, and undergo a process of individuation. 

Second challenge 1: They must learn to be independent. They will be forced to stand up for themselves and their rights, and face situations in which they will have to choose between doing what is right, and doing something to please someone else. They will learn to be firm and trust their judgement, not to run with the crowd but be an individual. They will experience much trial and error, and can sometimes include bursts of anger, or suppressed anger and emotion until they are acting on their deepest instincts. They will learn their own set of values, and develop individual and original ideas. Because Tessa has a Hidden Passion of 1, this challenge will not be a difficult one for her.

Third, main, challenge 2: They are overly sensitive and too aware of others’ expectations. They can suppress themselves to avoid being too conspicuous,and too self-conscious. Hypersensitivity can cause fear, timidity, and lack of self-confidence. Little things can become disproportionately difficult to overcome and can be paralyzing, jealousy can cause pain and misunderstanding. These things stem from positive parts of their life path, such as awareness and intuition, but have become twisted into overwhelming negatives.

Fourth challenge 4: This challenge is all about learning to organize and prioritize, be persistent and persevere. Because Tessa has mainly odd numbers, this might be a hard lesson to learn (but perhaps she has already done so)

Destiny/Expression 7

Spiritual, intelligent, analytical, focused, introspective, studious, intuitive, knowledgeable, contemplative, serious, persevering, refined, gracious. They are driven by a desire for knowledge and truth, and possess a considerable amount of perspective. They need time to be by themselves, too much social interaction can cause stress and they need privacy. They tend to dislike mundane things, and can be judgemental towards others and their lack of depth of knowledge. This can lead to them being cut off from society. It would be better for them to spend their time in an educating role, by spreading their love of knowledge. They are perfectionists, and can be distant and aloof.  

Soul Urge/Heart Desire 7

They love knowledge and insight. They value the gifts of their mind, and abhor shallow opinions and judgements. They have a natural gift for analysis and research, and once they have grasped the basics of a topic, have no problem diving deep into the issue and thinking theoretically or philosophically about it. They can be introverted, and a life of a hermit or monk engaged in a life of study appeals. In relationships, they may prefer things impersonal. They prefer facts over feelings and may distrust their own and others’ emotions. The unpredictability of the heart can surprise or frighten them and their rationality. They do crave love, and it takes a lot of trust for them to be able to trust someone with their heart. Resisting the urge to become a hermit, and instead embracing society and sharing their gift of knowledge can be a much more fulfilling life.

Personality 9

9′s have an impressive and almost aristocratic bearing. They are very much in control of the image they send out. Many actors, dancers, and other performers have 9 personalities. They are much admired, but also can be hated as they may be perceived as arrogant. A great struggle of the 9 type personality is being able to bring themselves down to earth and relate to everyone on a personal basis. 9′s have great compassion and sympathy for others, but may be better at working on a grand scale rather than a one-on-one basis. They have excellent taste, a good deal of artistic talent that shows in their homes and clothing.

Hidden Passion 1

Their hidden passion is that they want to stand out! They have a great drive and desire to accomplish. They are highly competitive and want to be the best and the first in anything they do. Highly energetic, creative, capable of influencing and even dominating others. Can succumb to manipulation unless their ideals are high. May have struggled with a lack of confidence especially at a young age, but they have the strength to overcome this. They are survivors, warriors, leaders, and often times politicians or athletes (!!!!)

Karmic Lessons 7 and 8

7: Learn not to take things at face value. A superficial understanding of important matters will prevent them from experiencing the satisfaction of their true potential. The presence of other 7s in Tessa’s core numbers means this lesson will be easy to learn.

8: They are highly independent and do not want to be told how to do things. They might have a know-it-all attitude and can be stubborn therefore they can run into issues with authority figures. This can prevent them from knowing their limits, and while they likely will attract lots of money, they may spend too much of it as well. Learn limitations, and be efficient. 

Balance 2

Use tact and diplomacy over emotion. Be courageous in the search to a solution rather than backing away over fear of confrontation. Work hard to diffuse tension, and find a solution that satisfies everyone. Be willing to compromise. 

Scott Moir

Life Path: 9

Birth Day Number: 2

Second Period Cycle: 2

Second Pinnacle Cycle: 9

Challenge Numbers: 7, 4, 3, 1

Destiny/Expression: 3

Soul Urge/Heart Desire: 4

Personality: 8

Hidden Passion: 9

Karmic Lessons: 5 and 8

Balance Number: 3

Life Path 9: The Humanitarian

9′s are helpful, compassionate, charitable, generous, humanitarian, cooperative, creative, self-sufficient, proud, self-sacrificing. 9′s can often be open and honest to a fault. There is no doubting that a 9 will give you an honest opinion, and it may be a tough pill to swallow but the 9′s must be listened to. They usually speak from a place of experience. 9′s are determined to leave this earth better than they got it, and this can be confusing to a lot of other people, who might be searching for a deeper meaning behind it all. 9′s are coming from a place of love, and are hardly looking for whats in it for themselves. They wear everything on their sleeves. 9′s tend to see the big picture, rather than small details and attract people from all walks of life. They do not accept social biases or prejudices. 9′s are imaginative and creative and enjoy careers that involve some sort of self-sacrifice. They often do not want to accept the shortcomings of the world, of yourself, or others. This can lead to a perpetual dissatisfaction and a constant push towards something better that they often find they can never meet. 9′s often let go of material possessions and relationships as they’ve learned that holding on too tight to anything often causes them pain. If they seek money too fervently, they will come up disappointed and empty handed. The most success, for them, comes from caring and sharing. They can be romantic, but impersonal. They tend to focus more on their dreams. They must be open and accept their shortcomings as well as their strengths in order to establish an equilibrium. Out of alignment, 9′s can be resentful, lacking in integrity, hostile, arrogant, close minded, emotionally unavailable, submissive, or a liar.

Crystals: fire agate, aragonite, blue apatite, blue chalcedony, fluorite, hematite, malachite, pietersite, rhodonite, unakite

Planet: Sun

Zodiac: Virgo (also his sign!)

Tarot: The Hermit

Birth Day Number 2

They are sensitive, intuitive, and diplomatic. They are aware of their surroundings, and are easily influenced by it. They love beauty and attention, and can easily fall victim to depression or lack of confidence. Their talents lie in personal relations and diplomatic skills. They also usually possess talents in artistic and creative endeavours. They are warm, affectionate and like to hug and cuddle, and be made to feel safe and secure. They are cooperative and work well in partnerships. They are good at continuing projects and have great attention to detail. They require harmonious work environments, without it they may become too stressed and high strung. 

 Second Period Cycle 2

The middle part of their life is about learning to tune in to the sensitive and intuitive side. They are drawn to interact with people on a personal level, and are able to recognize how others are feeling and be more tactful. Emotions play a large part of period two. Devoting time to the performing arts is an especially good idea.

Second Pinnacle Cycle 9

This is a good time for financial growth and progress. They will also face a large challenge which they must give themselves to completely. They will find reward in drama and art, and have a heightened sense of aesthetic and any artistic abilities will be brought to the surface and enhanced. 

Challenges 7, 4, 3, 1

First challenge 7: They are highly skeptical of anything that can not be proven to them. Very doubtful of anything to do with spiritual matters. They must learn faith, and to find a community which provides interesting and fresh perspectives. They may have too much pride, and will experience a deep and humbling transformation.

Second challenge 4: This challenge is all about learning to organize and prioritize, be persistent and persevere. Because Scott has more even numbers this will be an easier lesson for him to learn.

Third, main, challenge 3:  They are their own worst critic. They suppress their individuality and creativity because of self-doubt. They are far harder on themselves than anyone else in their life is, so they tend to play it safe by not expressing deep emotions and indulging in superficialities. They can feel lonely, and fear social interaction. They should seek out a creative output, like drawing, dance, singing etc. The crux of this challenge is to bring out the true self. They must learn to value their creative talents above judgement of others, and undergo a process of individuation. 

Fourth challenge 1:  They must learn to be independent. They will be forced to stand up for themselves and their rights, and face situations in which they will have to choose between doing what is right, and doing something to please someone else. They will learn to be firm and trust their judgement, not to run with the crowd but be an individual. They will experience much trial and error, and can sometimes include bursts of anger, or suppressed anger and emotion until they are acting on their deepest instincts. They will learn their own set of values, and develop individual and original ideas.

(interesting they both have similar challenge numbers, especially number 3 which they’ve both extensively mentioned their self-critical nature)

Destiny/Expression Number 3

3 is the number of self-expression. They are rich in imagination and spirit, but must be careful to not scatter themselves. They can lack discipline, and hard work and focus will be the keys to their success. They possess great verbal skills, but tend to think in pictures rather than words. Love, romance, and money are definitely within reach. They are social, they need an audience and the support of others to fully realize their abilities. On the downside they can be superficial, moody, sensitive, and emotional. They can perceive criticism where there was none. These traits can suppress creativity and it’s better to be goal-oriented 

Soul Urge/Heart Desire 4

They like to live a stable and well-organized life. They can establish and maintain a routine, and they strive to be dependable and a rock of strength for others. Work is central to their life and they may have a tendency to go overboard, and they should avoid being a workaholic. They are great in family situations and make good parents, but must learn to be flexible. They need and want much love, and are honest and unpretentious. They hate liars and affectations. 

Personality 8

They appear strong and powerful, have impressive personalities, and can influence and even intimidate easily. They have natural authority and people are attracted to their competence and enthusiasm. They radiate confidence. Most 8′s have a strong constitution, but can suffer from indigestion, ulcers, and even heart disease due to reckless eating, drinking, and propensity to be workaholics. Their egocentric attitude can be a downfall, and this can cause loneliness and ruthlessness. They can be spontaneous, excited, warm, and jovial. Deep down, they want everyone to be as happy and as excited as they are. Those around them often sense it, and they are well liked by coworkers.

(This feels bizarrely accurate)

Hidden Passion 9

Warm, generous, and compassionate. 9′s are often creatively inclined but it may not come out until adulthood because it was repressed as a child. They have a strong desire for insight and knowledge. They are emotional even though their feelings are not always sensible. They can get caught up in dreams. Blessed with oratorical abilities. They are driven to do their own thing and are very independent. 

Karmic Lessons 5 and 8

5: They need to be more adventurous. Overcome fear of living. Take every opportunity that is presented especially to travel, to meet new people, to experience new things. Broaden horizons. Go with the flow, adapt to changes, and grow from them. 

8: They are highly independent and do not want to be told how to do things. They might have a know-it-all attitude and can be stubborn therefore they can run into issues with authority figures. This can prevent them from knowing their limits, and while they likely will attract lots of money, they may spend too much of it as well. Learn limitations, and be efficient. 

Balance Number 3

Be more lighthearted and optimistic in approaches to problems. Work with others to reach and mutually satisfactory solution. Use natural charm to influence a situation. Try to control tendency to be overly emotional. Be objective. 

[shorkbrian]

ASKS

Hello again, asks are compiled under the cut. Please block the tag #shorkbrian answers a lot of asks# If you’d prefer not to see these types of posts from me. If I haven’t answered your ask, it’s because I’m saving it for a thirst, drabble, or fic.

I don’t ignore asks, but sometimes getting around to them overwhelms me lol. pls accept my apologies lol k here we go

I am very glad, I legit was so scared that it was too long and that it’d be disappointing bc the smut wasn’t super IN YOUR FACE yknow? But man am I glad to hear that.

I’m looking directly @ you

Someone noticed omg!!!  A lot of times I just put whatever song I played on repeat while writing that fit, but I have a *yandere* playlist that I listen to and it gets me going. Ty for noticing!!!

I’ve considered opening them permanently but I just... idek. I’d have to start deleting or ignoring the requests I don’t vibe with and Idk how to handle that lol. But thanks for the well wishes, hope your next few months treat you well friend!

Watermelon sugar why

Srsly you’re sweet but just wait until I start to really get going with all my nasty kinks okay, then you’ll be rethinking this strategy hunty lol!

I literally stalk @.vermiliren and @.kazooli and @.seita lol. Maybe when I get my blog more cleaned up, I’ll create a list of creators that I enjoy, along with fic recs. For now, here’s a link to my AO3 bookmarks which I read one like almost every single night bc I’m a horny gremlin.

I am the shark king. Sharks are my thing bro u don’t even know. I love them so much, they're dumb and big and beautiful and yeah I wish I was a mermaid who got to swim with them. Also I changed it bc I’m trying to make my blog more *professional* and all that so I can start being taken seriously askjakjdf

Compliments suck, if I'm being down and out honest. This does not bother me at all, I’m just unsure how to respond. I think I would prefer no comments, but I’m trying really really hard to just say “thank you!” and move on before I get uncomfortable. Having to fight with someone about how I perceive my self worth is exhausting, and especially so for the poor person that was just trying to say something nice and be nice to me. 

They do make me quite uncomfortable my dear lad/lassie/lasso. Say what you wish in the tags tho ! I don’t really reply to those, so there’s no pressure on me to have to say something back. I do however, see all the tags ppl use and some of them make me laugh so hard cause they’re so spot on, and it makes my day. like “Mark me down as scared AND horny” and “Bakugou better be able to bench 165 cause imma throw my fatass in his mf lap” and it kills me.

I SCEREAMED AKDHGSYDGASJSD this is the only format I'll be taking asks in now, no compliments just a yes/no answer to if my works help u cum god bless

you used the /gen!!!!! IDK what these are called but the /S and /gen and /J save my life!!!!

Frick you’ve figured me out, I do try to put like a nail-in-the-coffin sentence at the end. A lot of times it never works right, but I cannot for the life of my figure out how to end a single post ever. If anyone knows hmu pls ty

(Also ps I checked out ur blog cause yans are my jam and it is very much Not garbage!!)

That’s very kind of you, but pls don’t stay up past midnight it’s bad for ur Brian you’ll make bad decisions bro trust me all of my stuff is written after midnight

You will lafff..... but I will tell anyways..... I was prescribed a “life coach” after I got out of the hospital, which was really just a poorly disguised softcore “make sure u don’t yeet urself” type of thing. He had me write down things I liked about myself, and when I returned the sheet of paper still blank, he wrote stuff down for me. Like five sentences of “My hair and skin are unique and special” “I like animals and enjoy being kind to them” “I am worthy of respect” etc etc. and I had to look in a mirror twice a day and say those sentences to help “boost my self worth”. It sucked so bad dude, and I like got upset about it every time it came up, until finally my therapist was like “... this aint doin this sad bitch no good” and my parents got designated for yeet watch instead.

I know, logically, that (the majority of) people are not purposefully taking time out of their day to make me feel bad. They're trying to be encouraging and loving, and I appreciate it so much. But like... what do I say? If I say thanks, it’s almost like acknowledging what they're saying as true, and I can’t live with myself thinking I’m more than I am. I’m sorry you’ve had experiences that make compliments difficult for you also, I understand bro and I hope that your future holds healing and peace for you. 

Hopefully I won’t vent as much anymore lol, I’ll try to do that on my sideblog where I reblog really trigger-y memes akjdafhkjf. But thank you for your kind words bro, they’re appreciated and put in a nice lil jar.

Ah dw! This doesn’t sound like a jab. I think all of us r so sad n depressed and feel unworthy of love, so the fantasy of a Yan coming and forcing it on us and not leaving even when we lash out is just..... so attractive my heads gonna explode

me, thinking about kiri at any given moment like:

I have the next Hybrid! Kiri fic like lined up, but I’m so demotivated be I was SO CLOSE to finishing, and then wiped my computer like an IDITO

Waso, I’m taking horseback riding lessons bc my mom went:

and my grandpa told me that one of his horses was named Awaso and I immediately thot of u fun fact. But you’re so very kind, and I enjoy seeing you in my inbox. I’m never tired of u homie. You are loved and important, and it’s not an illusion. Even random strangers on the internet can feel soft towards you bro, and dats me, I’m the random stranger that likes u.

So I took Russian for a year, my dear friend, because I wanted to see if the language myth of “Russian is the hardest, Korean is the easiest” was true. I would say yes. So instead of like translating this and typing out a coherent response, I’ve resorted to google translate I’m so sorry but Виктор мог плюнуть мне в глаз, и я бы поблагодарил его. Also, the way Vitya is written in cryllic makes my heart swell it looks so cozy idek what I mean by that but it does? I treasure you man, hope to see you around in the new year and maybe??? we be good friends

Can any year be good when Kirishima Eijirou doesn’t exist?

cryface;;sad.jpg

I just imagine anyone who comes across my stuff, sitting at their computer shocked and slightly horrified, maybe turned on like

Daddy Aizawa makes me

Wait!! I have something to aid your troubles!!

ur welcome now u can be horny whenever you’d like 

pls every time we talk about Kirishima I have to act surprised like 

LISTEN BBYGORL I have had therapist Suga in the works since *checks notes* November. I am excited for it yeahhhhhh but sadly, I don’t think I will be continuing piano teacher Suga. The story is petered out in my mind, idk where it would go. Therapist sugarbird tho? We have some thots about this. Coming soon to theaters near you

[kewltie]

i got most of the skeleton format for social media au ch 3 done which wouldn’t be as dificult if i had stuck to the general sns platforms i already used (i.e. twitter, tumblr, youtube, etc) but i decided in this ch im going to push it a lil further and see what i can get away with /o\. SO i ended working on a few new formats and that occupied my time up the end of july. 

it was A N N O Y I N G and extremely F R U S T R A S T I N G but i ended really like how it all came out eventually. i feel like every new ch of this ‘verse i push and push just to see if i can make myself cry of anger when i hit roadblock after roadblock bc many of these took hours and hours to format but less than a min to read through.... but SO WORTH IT for me. at the end of the day it’s what make me happy that drives me forward with social media au. also, my sense of being completely anal about getting THINGS RIGHT. like, all the server icons for discord??? i designed them all and they literally have no use beyond that but it pleases me bc im strickler for details and I COULD NOT HAVE IT EMPTY. 

the majority of the problem i often run into is the fact that there’s no ref i can pull from or i can lean on anyone for help. i dont know how to code. like for real, i only know basic html like how to change colors, insert links, etc but everything else that have to do with css i have to google around and when i hit a problem i have to solve it by myself or find a way to work around it. I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO CHANGE A TABLE BACKGROUND COLOR until like several months ago. a lot of it is me just screaming and crying as i tried to figure out to how to solve it like the podcast format??? man that sucked MY SOUL bc i wanted to add a scrolling bar but that somehow didn’t work bc it keep messing up with the top section and i couldn’t get it right no matter how much i tried. i was so mad and frustrated that i wanted to cry but then i realize i can just get rid of the scroll bar and replace with an infinite loading symbol which works out just as well to hinted at “more episodes” hidden on the player bc that was my point in having a scroll bar. SO YEA a lot of the tiny annoying details is what trapped me the most but once i get passed the sense of pride and relief is so great it’s like a high lol. 

now, im mainly focusing the meat of the fics like chatlogs, filling up the details, and writing up psuedo essays, etc that drives the story forward. so hopefully less formatting and crying from now and until the end of august lol :P. so it’s going semi okay so far?? i estimate we’re like 30% ish there but at the same time i might get some crazy idea that increase my workload... like i didn’t plan on doing any podcast BUT THEN IT HIT ME suddenly so here i am. most of social media au is just me winging it and panicking about it lol. im just honestly hoping and praying for the best here!! thank you so much for all your patient with me!!!! i’ll be back with another update in a week or so. hopefully it made more progress by then. 

[trenchcoatkitten]

So I’ve been reading Temperature of the Heart, and you’ve mentioned how you have the whole thing written already. Can you describe what that’s like? What’s your writing process? How long does it take for you to write everything start to finish? Do you plan it all out or just kind of wing it? How long do you sit in an idea before you start?? Sorry about all the questions, I’m just so curious >_

bro!!! are you sure i will scream about writing for days omg

first of all THANK YOU its so freaking cool that you came to ask your questions and that you like my writing, im still sort of getting used to my writing not just being garbage that i read in the dark at 2am and never share with anybody, and i am always excited to answer questions waaaah 

(THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG I APOLOGIZE IM PUTTING A READING BREAK IN CAUSE I WENT OFF BRO, IM THE WOOOOORST) 

my process is pretty weird, it’s kind of all over the place? I’m kind of a halfway planner halfway pantser. I have an idea and usually make some disjointed notes about character and the main idea, in my phone or maybe on a google doc, and then a pinterest board maybe? Something to get excited about, a visualization. I ALWAYS tell myself im going to make an outline first and then i ALWAYS just jump right into writing because I’m too excited/impatient to wait. give me words on a page. give me dialogue. 

Usually when I’m a little bit into the project, when i know that I’m not going to abandon it to the depths off where my WIPs go to die (rip like literally over 300 individual and unique works, this is NOT an exaggeration, you should see my document bank its gross) Ill say “ok fuck you sami its time to actually know where you’re going” and I’ll sit down and make the grossest outline you have EVER seen. like im talking, my outlines are littered with memes, me yelling at myself, actual stuff thats going to end up in the final project, and just general random garbage? its so gross. Ive literally only showed one of my outlines to one person ever (hi akira!) bc im super self conscious of them and hate the way that i write them. making an outline usually sucks up an entire day of writing. they’re pages and pages because some parts will be INCREDIBLY specific and other parts will be so vague you dont even know

From there, when im done with my garbage outline, (after going back through what I’ve written and fixing the shit that was just me going off like a psycho) I usually start writing in earnest. I’ll highlight the parts of the outline that I’ve done and I’ll go back and check it often to make sure im following through on my plans and the character arcs and such, making sure that everything ties in and such. This section is me like. every day getting home from work or whatever and sitting down at the computer and not moving until 2am, this is the section where i forget to eat and I dont sleep enough and i forget to drink water or take my vitamins and I do word sprints with myself and have days where I write 10 thousand words in one sitting. (very not healthy and also terrible i do NOT recommend) this is the section where I’ll handwrite anything i can in the back of classes and at rehearsals because im pouring out words.

during this section I go back and edit ENDLESSLY. i cannot write something and just let it be. I go back to the section I wrote the night before, I go back to the section I just wrote, i go back to the very beginning. I generally dont have to do 1st 2nd 3rd draft this way, but it is much more time consuming as Im just writing. i dont know if i reccommend this its a MESS

THeN once i finish writing the whole thing, i sit down and reread/edit the whole thing once through. this makes sure i have good flow, the paragraphs go together well, the prose feels right to me, timelines make sense. during this time i make ENDLESS paper notes with calendars, section notes, additions, drabbles, thoughts about my own shit. i have notebooks full of just garbage. im not kidding. full notebooks. 

Once I finish that read/edit through I’m usually happy. only once something is completely finished will I consider posting. I go back too much, I add shit, I can’t let go of shit, not until it’s done. While I’m posting - I go through the chapter I’m going to post with a fine tooth comb, try to catch any tiny little mistake, add words here and there, but never change anything large if I can help it. Then i format it on Ao3 (this is literal hell, fuck the HTML editor it wants me to die) and then post it. Deciding to post a chapter to actually hitting ‘post’ usually takes me 1-4 hours, depending on the length, the difficulty of formatting, and how many goddamn links i wanna put in the chapter notes cause im the worst~ (insert jean ralphio voice) 

~~~

LISTEN im probably super extra but I’ve been writing since I was in sixth grade (thats twelve years! time is an enigma and i hate it!) and so I have a bit of practice, i have a bit of experience and while I’m not the best me that I can be, I KNOW myself, and this is just what works best for me. 

As for timing - it depends on the length of the project and how motivated I am. It took me about a month to write Royal (~50k), just a little over a month to write All Might’s All Night Shop Stop (~75k), and just about two months to write Temperature of the Heart (~115k). I try to post every few days, because as a person I hate waiting and I don’t want to do that to my readers! 

~~~

As for the ‘how long do i sit on an idea before writing it’ it really depends. Some things I will receive inspiration or a sliver of an idea and start writing it in the next ten minutes, even if I have to stop working on something I’m already working on, because that was Brain Has Decided. Sometimes I will consider an idea for like. months before actually doing it. I’ve had the idea for FBoW (the newest thing im working on oops? have i told anybody about this NO cause that will make it REAL) since before I started Royal, which was like. Last november. But I just couldnt quite do it for some reason, and it wasn’t pressing. My brain is super broken, and a lot of times I get sick over ideas. I can’t sleep or eat until I’ve written, and I will repeat phrases to myself until i can get them out of my head by writing them down. (Sometimes this is something nice or poetic - “The golden hour lights up the whole world, wiggling its fingers into every nook and cranny, lighting up two people lounging on a bench-swing, someone leaned onto porch stairs with a mug of tea, the space between those walking down a dirt road, a couple of dogs laid out on the deck.” and other times its literally “Ranch Fiddlesticks.” I’m not kidding. i have a note in my phone that says ranch fiddlesticks because I was actually going to Die if i didnt write it down.)

I do wish my brain didn’t do this - but I guess it makes some fun art, doesn’t it? 

WOW OKAY THIS WAS SO LONG im so sorry jesus christ. SOrry i will ALWAYS go off about my process and what it’s like to write. Writing is so so important to me, I LOVE it with every tiny atom of my weak, alcohol-infused, overworked heart. Despite how scary it is sometimes I am very glad to be sharing my work with the world, seeing peoples’ reactions and hearing things about my words, hearing how this little picture in my mind has gone into yours. 

okay jfc im done now im so sorry. thank you again and again and again, a thousand times over, for reading my work and enjoying the worlds that i enjoy building. It makes me feel like I’m worth it. It makes me feel like I’m doing something good. 

ily :’)

[freckliedan]

so i have two very important essays to write. here in merica i'm a minority in every way lmao so i'm applying to a scholarship for my dream college n have to these essays done by nov 1, but the teachers went on strike (chicago) so i'm so incredibly anxious bc i need help on what else to add n if its good enough. i don’t know what to write... do you have any advice for inspiration or anything for writing when you feel like you have no words?:( -char

what are the specific essay prompts about if you don’t mind me asking? i feel like i’d have some very different advice depending on the requirements, but something that tends to work for me when i’m stuck with writing is finding a way the prompt connects to something i’m passionate about and then messaging someone about my thoughts, rather than trying to start by writing in paper format?

i’ve written things with a lot of different formats that started out as a very disorganized messages sent to a friend-it’s a way for me personally to explore the different parts of an idea? and then i organize things into an order with bullet points before i start writing; a list of ideas always feels less permanent and difficult than an entire essay, and then i can just expand the bullet points into proper sentences and build the list into an essay with pretty low stress.

if that’s not really the source of the issue though, something that can get me stuck is not understanding what the prompt for an essay wants from me? if i don’t understand how to do it in a way that’ll make the people reading my essay happy, it’s hard to begin. if that’s what has you stuck it might be helpful to talk to someone about the prompt and what it’s really asking for?

also! i’d heard about the strike, i hope the teachers get everything they’re asking for, but it really sucks that there’s not any support right now when you need it :c i did a quick google to see if there were any chicago nonprofits that focus on supporting students with their writing and this came up? (link). it also might be worth it to check out your local public library and see if they have any writing support resources, i don’t know what programs various specific libraries have but i know that public libraries exist to support communities! if you have a writing or english teacher you really connect with/that you know supports you, it may be worth it to email them and ask if they know of any resources to support your writing as well, they probably know more about local writing support than i do (same goes for the nonprofit i linked, i bet they’d be able to refer you to someone else if they’re not the right fit).

i think the most important thing to remember with big essays is that no writing starts out perfect; writing gets good when you edit it, and it’s very okay to have a messy/”bad” first draft! you have to start from somewhere to get to a place where you’re happy with what you’ve written

[novantinuum]

A Link Beyond Memory (ch 2/4)

AO3

Fandom: Trollhunters, 3Below

Rating: T (for minor language in future chapters)

Words: 600~

Pairings: Jim/Claire, but not focus

Summary: Shortly after the events of the Eternal Night, memories of a day that never happened somehow resurface in Jim’s mind in his sleep- and upon recalling the friendship he and Aja formed, he decides to pursue that connection again. Slice of life, and kinda a slow burn friendship reunion. A hybrid of prose and chat fic (to be seen in later chapters.)

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Note: Unfortunately, fic circulation online is getting harder and harder as the months pass. Please, if you read to the end and enjoy, consider helping me out by reblogging this post, or even commenting/giving kudos over on AO3. Thanks! :D

Chapter 2: Transit

Transit- The instant when a celestial object crosses the meridian, thus reaching the highest point in the sky.

~

T: hhhh miss ya already. tbh i dont know what im supposed to do this summer now ahah

T: i was all looking forward to hangin with you and claire and everyone else in trollmarket and now…

T: i mean i still have aaarrrgghh. and darci and eli too i guess but

T: really starting to wish i came along.

T: i know you said to watch over the town while youre gone and i know thats a good point but honestly i just wanna be with you

T: jim?

T: yoooo ? did u die

T: god i hope not after all the end of the world chaos thatd be really anticlimactic

J: Sorry no I lost signal for a bit!! Miss you too gahhh.

T: pls know if you so much as say the word ill crawl on the first airplane i can find and launch myself directly at your face

T: jim liSTEN jim im not even kidding

T: screw arcadia

T: if you need me im there

J: Omg I’ll defo keep that in mind

T: ..jk dont screw arcadia tho i love this place. also its already screwed enough at this point so

T: hey but you think merlin could make me another warhammer for my growing arsenal?

J: Yeah I think he could be easily convinced.

J: He’s kinda sucking up to me now hahah

J: He already made Claire a sorta necklace amulet to store her armor so a magic hammer should be no problem

T: awesomesauceee

J: Any particular reason lol?

T: i dunno i just think itd look wicked cool to double wield, like general orzan from gun robot three. also lets be real after all the crap he put us through we deserve S W A G

J: I’ll ask tomorrow. Hey quick Q for you though

J: Well okay not exactly quick  

J: It’s actually a long story but-

T: ye?

J: Do you happen to have Aja’s number or anything?

J: We took her and her bro down to the Janus Order, lightning in a bottle, remember her?

T: ye i know- lively! and uhhh don’t think i do? havent really talked to them since why

J: I get the strangest sense we’re supposed to know them more than we do. Had a really weird dream but it felt more like a lost memory. Think it’s an amulet thing, like that alternate timeline it made me live through once?

T: huh funky

J: Also supposedly according to the dream/memory both Aja and Krel are… not from Earth?

T: dude no offense but are you sure it wasnt just a normal dream

J: Seriously.?

J: Merlin turned me into a fucking TROLL and aliens are where you decide to draw the line

T: okay yknow thats fair

T: i take that back  

T: okay so,, aja and krel are MAYBE aliens. got that. go onnn

J: What I saw honestly felt so real, I swear. It was two weeks ago, at the science fair. We were fighting a troll in the planetarium with them, and the troll kept combining magic with some alien tech, which kept reversing everyone back to the beginning of the day, like a time loop or something. But I could remember everything bc of the amulet. Aja remembered bc of some energy shield she had. We lived through the same day almost a dozen times.

T: whoa…

J: And get this- in some of those loops we even went to their house and got to look around inside their spaceship! But none of us are supposed to recall any of it bc technically the entire day never happened? It’s how we defeated the troll, that bit’s a little fuzzy. A lot of technobabble sorry.

T: goddd out of all the days to forget huh

J: Right??

J: I guess… if she remembered all of this before I’m kinda curious if she still remembers now too. If it really happened. We were friends in that memory. It’d be nice to maybe get to know her again, y’know?

T: okay you’re prob gonna hate me for suggesting this but i THINK steve has her number

T: bc i was talking to darci and she said that mary told her that aja and steve are like, a thing now

T: a Thing thing

T: i believe her exact words were ‘staja’ ?

J: Oh my god how’d that happen is he even capable of proper flirting

T: well if shes an alien like you think then maybe she doesn’t know what human flirting looks like

J: Haha maybe indeed. I’ll go talk to him thanks

J: G’night Tobes love ya

T: night buddy <3

(my notes from ao3:)

Admission, I had far too much fun with the text format. I've never attempted anything like it, but I especially wanted to create unique "character voices" that extended into the way they each type- which was a cool challenge.

I imagined Toby as the sort of person who types out his thoughts far too quickly to care about punctuation, and IMO if Trollhunters was set just a year later (I generally just imagine it all set in 2016) he'd be keymashing. Jim is more of a full sentence type of guy who never turned off auto capitalization.

ALSO, a note on the contact photos- (Jim's which I directly took from a screenshot from Claire's phone, and Toby's which I edited from some 2D concept art)- That's the photo Jim uses for Toby's contact, and I imagine there's probably some inside joke where Jim took a really derpy photo of him at one point and they laughed so hard about it that he immortalized it as his contact. Jim's personal contact photo is... well, as this all takes place post s3 of course, a rather sad reminder of his loss of humanity. He can't bother himself to change it currently.

Future chapters will likely be a mix of text AND prose, instead of one or the other. Hope you enjoyed!

[clonerightsenthusiast]

I’ve been so frantically trying to cram in more hours of content than was possible in under two days so that I could catch up (at least enough) to watch the 100th episode live that I haven’t paused to even like. think about the fact that this is the 100th episode tonight until like. right now. Like holy shit. I started watching at the very end of the Whitestone arc (like literally post-finale... the first episode I watched live was either Denouement or Winter’s Crest in Whitestone, I honestly can’t remember which) and have been watching since then mostly regularly, sometimes in fits and starts, staying up until 2 am every Thursday night for over a year now.

I’m gonna put the rest of this post under a read more because hot damn I rambled on for a while but basically... this show means a lot to me.

And like... I feel like I’m sort of weird, because I was into D&D streams long before I was into playing D&D. I’d been doing play-by-post roleplaying since I was maybe 11 and first discovered the internet (in fact I think it’s fair to say my first experience with other people on the internet was me stumbling into an rp forum and going ‘guess ill do what theyre doing’ and made a character), but I’d never even heard of tabletop roleplaying. I first found out what D&D was by finding a link to the recordings of a campaign by a handful of like D-list internet celebrities on TV Tropes when I was in... late middle school? Early high school? And I followed that down a rabbit hole that led me to more and more and I would download the audio and listen to them during class because I was a lazy student (and listen y’all if anyone out there reads this and watched the Wyrmwick campaign... hmu bc I still think about those assholes sometimes and lose my shit over “Plan A: Yoink” and Dhother eating a vampire apple) and eventually I ended up at a D&D Twitch stream every Friday where maybe 15 of us would show up and hang out and joke with the players and name every single animal that showed up in the campaign and refuse to refer to them as anything but our chosen nicknames. That game was the first time I experienced the type of community that D&D builds, the inside jokes and funny anecdotes and bonding experiences that come from hanging out together and watching a story unfold in real time in the most unpredictable fashion possible. (And if by some infinitesimal chance any of y’all from the Two Worlds game read this... extra hmu. I miss you guys.)

After the Two Worlds campaign ended and school got more serious and couldn’t make the Friday night streams anymore because I was busy and tired and the internet in my house sucked, D&D sort of... faded from my life. I never had any friends in high school who would be at all interested in it and every so often I would go back to that channel and find some of the highlights that were still saved and I would listen to them and wish that I could have that sort of thing back, because D&D is such an unparalleled storytelling device and as hard as it is when you’re into a TV show or book series that doesn’t have a huge following--imagine what it’s like when what you really care about is random strangers playing a tabletop game on the internet.

And then came Critical Role.

I am forever grateful that someone I followed (who I won’t @ just because I don’t really talk to them and I don’t want to give them a notification for a stranger’s long rambling post lol) started reblogging a lot of gifs of CR because I was. immediately interested. I never really lost my interest in D&D, I just lost access to it, so as soon as I saw images of people rolling dice and cheering about crits I was into it. It took me a little while to find out what it was and where to get it but when I did I blew through it, over 30 three hour long episodes, staying up past 3 am every night even though it was fucking reading and finals period, and watched the entire backlog up to that point (a third of what it is now, but pretty considerably even so). The three-hour-long videos were familiar to me, though the live action format was not (every stream I’d watched was through an online program rather than in person, so I’d only ever seen character tokens and heard voices).

Critical Role came at exactly the right time. I found it at the end of my first semester at Wellesley, where for the first time I’d found people who shared my interests and were every inch the geeky loser I am. I was finally in a place where I felt comfortable exploring my most out-there interests more publicly, and while I didn’t find my first in-person fan until this year (shout out to @wingedscribe for talking to me for over an hour about what an idiot Vax is when we first met), or at least the first one I didn’t make myself (thanks Susie, and I see you reblogging CR posts still), I did find enough people willing to try out roleplaying with me. I finished bingeing Critical Role just in time for winter break, I grabbed an old fantasy world I’d built ages ago for a different forum RP group, and I drafted a campaign. I was the DM, because we tried another person and it was an unmitigated disaster, and because I knew the most about how the game worked--again, solely because of my years of watching D&D streams and just sort of absorbing the rules (tho they had all been 4e, so I definitely was still learning).

That campaign doesn’t exist anymore because I definitely threw myself way in over my head with it and burned myself out, but Critical Role still kickstarted my creativity and imagination and that stuck with me. I talked some friends into trying a Star Wars RPG with me and we’re having a hell of a time, and I’m trying out D&D as a player and fucking loving it (god I miss both those games right now though, the downside of summer is splitting up our group). I wrote fanfiction for the first time in my entire life, and started to actively participate in a fandom on a wider basis for pretty much the first time ever, because of this show. I bought (and wear, very often, because that hoodie is my favorite article of clothing ever) fandom-related clothing for the first time because of this show. That’s how much it means to me: I, who am perpetually embarrassed to talk about literally everything that interests me, walk around with the Critical Role logo and How Do You Want To Do This emblazoned across my body on a regular basis.

Critical Role, more than anything, has made me feel what it is to be part of a fandom community. Just like those 15 people showing up every Friday night to hang out and watch some strangers play D&D, but on a massive scale. There’s something so incredibly engaging about watching a story unfold in real time, especially when the cast is so eager to engage with the fans themselves. Seeing Laura Bailey as ready to fistfight Sam Riegel as I am on a daily basis is a powerful thing when it comes to making me feel connected to the show, and seeing everybody else on this site also ready to square the fuck up has made me feel more connected to the Critter community as a whole. And maybe it’s because it’s a relatively small fandom, or maybe it’s because of the medium of D&D in general and Critical Role more specifically, or maybe (probably) it’s some combination of the two, but I am so glad I found this show and this community at a time in my life when I was actually ready to be a part of it.

This is real fuckin long and I’m not sure I even said what I wanted to, but basically: Thank you, Critical Role. Thank you, Matthew Mercer and the rest of this incredible cast. And thank you, Critter community. Y’all mean a lot to me.

[princessnijireiki]

Like, I mean just the application process! "Read the rules, then reread them for the secret code, then decode the cypher, and THEN fill out the sample bio!" Ugh! And like, THEN all the "Use colored text, write at least four paragraphs, et al."

I dunno! I know in tabletop/pen and paper/system based RPs everything was WAY more lax! Like, my friend Tracy set out a Call to Arms to collect some girls for Pathfinder and we came out with a good group before schedules conflicted, and no need for any kinda secret code stuff!

And I never tried Tumblr RP but always wanted to, but ugh where do I even start? I know I bounced that idea to you a few years ago, but that went nowhere, and it's intimidating how so many people are well laid out andI am just some kinda potato. And maybe I'm too old/anxious for forum and Tumblr RP these days? I dunno! Also, the emphasis on character pictures being needed but like, I'm apprehensive about just using someone else's art!

OH, that kind of stuff, lmao!!

Yeah, I don’t mind cyphers as a puzzle or sth in-game, but as a hurdle for entrance, it sucks. And even then, I’d rather those kind of puzzles be a group puzzle or optional, just bc like... I know there’s some puzzles I’ve seen that I just can’t do in terms of like the way my brain works... like I can solve some algebra, but if sudoku’s on the table, I’ll wait until someone else solves it, because I dead legit can’t.

(This is gonna be long so I’m putting it under a cut!)

Hiding a code or a link in the rules isn’t as popular on Tumblr as it was for a little bit, but I know some of it was in place bc people would jump on faceclaims or the idea of an RP and not read the rules before submitting an application. Even then, I’d rather it be like listed in the rules, “Write XYZ codeword on your application” rather than “The third word that starts with ‘C’ after the 2nd ‘what’ when I say who the mods are and that’s the link to the puzzle...” Like, don’t do that. Either that’s too high an expectation or, if it reflects how the game is going to be run, the game itself is asking too much of me in that moment.

Now, I don’t mind auditions that involve writing samples if it’s a prose-heavy game, and a game that’s set up for all players to audition (vs. “my friends can just get in no question, but everyone else needs to apply”), but that’s only feasible for smaller groups to begin with imo, and I think depending on what qualities an app is being judged on, can get extra elitist with shades of ableism and xenophobia (esp. for people who English isn’t their native language) re: spelling & grammar requirements.

In a small group, it’s easier to say, okay, I need people to be on this level because that’s just who all is writing here-- but you’re not grading a book report, and then the effect is still creating elitist spaces that push out people who can’t/won’t write a certain kind of way.

Tumblr doesn’t do colored text as much, either, but I HATE folks who require text formatting or theme codes that do change color, glow, have a certain kind of .gifs or icons, etc., because it’s not at all accessible, and it’s just a lot more work... and particularly for folks with “rare” FCs/PBs (which tends to be older FCs, or PoC), “resource” requirements are just another way to keep certain players or certain “kinds” of characters out.

Even in terms of having a faceclaim/play-by to begin with, it’s just sort of the norm for how Tumblr RP is done... I can’t speak for anywhere else, but I know people playing as non-humans, or someone who doesn’t have an adequate physical model, or who want cartoon/drawing FCs have a much steeper uphill battle than somebody using an FC from a popular band or TV show... and even in terms of human FCs, some people ban folks using models or using anyone who’s a musical performer, or wrestlers, or something like that, when you get exponentially more diversity in those spheres than when you’re limited to the CW or Disney Channel actors.

On top of, okay, if you can’t draw, or you don’t have Photoshop/know how to use it, or you don’t have access to other people’s art to use with their permission (I’ve seen comic book character RPers use edits from the comics themselves, but there’s a lot of investment in finding scans/scanning things yourself to do that, too)-- or you can’t do that and maintain a consistent “aesthetic” all around-- or, hell, if you’re using a human FC for a canon character in a fandom RP blog, but it’s not the “standard” FC (like I have a few friends doing, for example, an indigenous Arya Stark, a book-based Sansa Stark who’s not using Sophie Turner as an FC, re-cast MCU characters, alternate gender/sexuality/race versions of DC characters, etc.)-- some people just will refuse to write with you at all.

Some people will refuse to RP with other independent RPers if their page theme isn’t fancy enough (I just don’t engage if I can’t read the page at all; like there’s a trend where pages are REALLY tiny and low-contrast, and I’ve been in glasses since I was like four or five, I can’t SEE), which is also bullshit, because if you know HTML or have experience with Tumblr themes, even then, that can be something it takes a solid day or so to work on... someone without that experience won’t even know where to start looking.

Or indie players are “supposed” to advertise themselves like how full games will post promos, and that’s generally some kind of fancy graphic that links back to your blog. And if you can’t do that yourself or commission someone to do it for you, you’re not able to RP really well on here. It sucks.

That said, there are people who are really nice and can help with that, some for free, though some people do charge for like a full custom theme with icons/gifs added in, or stuff like that. Some folks it’s just a passion project-- like I’m planning on .giffing Constance Ejuma from Ben and Ara (I ripped a copy for Q’orianka Kilcher initially) bc there aren’t a lot of, or maybe any??? Black Hijabi FC resources out there! I’ll probably .gif her and make a .zip of all the frames of her in the movie for people to make icons out of, because I feel strongly about people being able to have those options. But some other people will do stuff for free on request just because if a need isn’t being met, and they have the time/skills, why not help people out + practice your skills in the process?

And for using people’s art, ofc it’s best to ask permission + credit them if they say you can use their work for a theme or icons, but you’d be amazed how many people just don’t ask or credit appropriately in the first place. That doesn’t make it okay, but it’s something that a lot of people don’t realize is an option since the assumption is that people using art are either using their own or got the all-clear when they may have just snatched it, and getting permission is just a matter of sending people a message on DeviantArt or here on Tumblr.

Even for stuff like “faceless” human photos (shots from behind or with faces in shadow, just hands, etc.), or various werewolf icons from diff. movies, or one artist’s style to draw dragons or something, it can be dead simple but FEELS impossible to surmount because of this like... cultivated GULF between “no graphics, no theme, doesn’t know what they’re doing” and a “polished”~ end product “professional” RP theme/graphics/icons, and very few people clearly outlining the steps on how to move from one to the other.

It’s exhausting, and especially when you have to start from square one without guidance, but that’s the way a lot of folks in the “Tumblr RPC” got to where they are, and so their advice isn’t always helpful to anyone except other people at their same level, too. (Air-quotes bc the self-declared RP “community” on here is mostly VERY cliquey “RP Helper” blogs, and there’s good folks in there, but if you don’t know what you’re doing, it can feel like wandering into the DMV for the first time trying to process legal paperwork.)

And even if you DO have all that handled... that’s still no guarantee that people will give you the time of day, in terms of applications/auditions for closed RP games, or for gaming once you’re in (I’ve watched people get stonewalled out in closed RP, and I’ve been stonewalled out, and it SUCKS), or for anyone even noticing you in independent RP, or maintaining interactions with you at all. And I know in indies the popular rhetoric is that no one owes you that interaction-- which is true, it’s all “free agent” RP, essentially-- but that can be fuelled by prejudice, which people don’t like to talk about.

Or if it’s not, and it’s just an issue of like, “okay, you aren’t replying in a way that’s helpful for other people to reply to,” or “I can’t read your page, do you need help with a new theme?,” or even, “hey, I’m just not a fan of how you write,” or “idk how our characters can interact,” for some reason, that’s just not how people communicate with each other publicly or privately??? When that would SOLVE so many issues before they even become issues. Like just actually helping people, or actually telling people, hey, you’re not my style, but good luck! Try advertising here instead, or whatever!!  Is not the norm!!

Like it remains just kind of boggling and really closed-off instead of personal in a way that it has to be in face-to-face/tabletop RP, or in a way that it can evolve to naturally if you find the right group of people... but I honestly got really lucky with a few of the RPs I’ve been in that players connected in an honest way like that! That we could say, hey, your code is broken, try plugging this in here, hey, do you need pictures bc I got you, or even an OOC space where you can say, “idk if this came off correctly bc of a language barrier or a processing issue, here’s what I meant on that post,” or “can I ask for clarification before I reply?” + “I love this post and your character and we’re still friends BUT this character is going to react in this harsh way, so please don’t take it personally!!!” Which is I think healthy and really important... but people have to foster that deliberately, and a lot of people don’t.

Like even if someone joins a campaign late-- if it was tabletop, you could give a synopsis, you could share notes in or out of character, and you can pause the game to take this moment. Online, so many people are just like, “you’re on your own,” until the new person gets something wrong, and then people pile on them with corrections. It’s not friendly, and being online lets folks forget there’s another person on the other side of these interactions.

AND like life can twist on you. Your computer can break, you can have inconsistent internet access, you can get more or less work or classwork and more or less free time, you can lose muse or inspiration, you can get sick or depressed, you can move house or end up in the hospital... and like, again, where in face-to-face interactions, you can say, okay, cool, I get it! I hope you feel better soon! I’ll text you memes and stuff until you feel more up to hanging out, or whatever... or at least, I would hope folks would be nice to their friends or to people they are playing games with/writing with for fun... online, sometimes people get REAL nasty about it. Like, really, REALLY nasty, over a hobby not taking priority over stuff like midterms or needing to pick up extra shifts bc their mom is sick.

It’s just... like I said, it can be really hard!!

It can be super rewarding, but it can be really hard, too, and it’s far harder WITHOUT experience/certain tech skills under your belt, but it’s not even hard in a “ “fair” ” way, where more experience/skills guarantees stuff will be easier every time. It can be a crap-shoot, and it makes people feel old and tired bc of all these damn HURDLES to interacting with people who may or may not even want to be friends like that once you get there, OR who may have their own stuff going on where their schedule or what they want from a story is mutually incompatible with your own schedule/goals/etc. Finding the right people to tell the right stories with can be SO SO SO hard, when like really...

The goal of any hobby is to help make you happy and to have fun! And if the way a system is set up makes that hard to do, and makes a hobby un-rewarding, or that’s just not the way your life is set up to be compatible with... it’s not a good fit. But it’s not a matter of YOU, INDIVIDUALLY, need to change to get with the program, it might just be that it’s not the right program for you, and that could 100% be because the program is broken, or designed to work against you, or people who are with the program can’t or won’t help you understand what’s all going on.

So like tl;dr... honestly, even for Tumblr RP, before even looking for new games or applying for any, I have to either have enough excess energy to KNOW I’m taking a gamble on dealing with frustrating interactions and rejections from people who don’t even want to know me-- and then the story premise has to be worth me risking that!!-- OR I have to need a creative outlet that badly that getting that expression out is worth those rejections or even complete radio silence, just because I can’t hold it in anymore.

And that’s WITH resources, and with the ability to make more/make my own, and with coding experience, and with tbh a decently thick skin in terms of writing unwanted or unlikeable characters.

And like... right now, I’m not even up for that, with people who I know weren’t/aren’t rejecting me, just because I don’t have the muse + energy + time to dedicate to a set schedule for interactions that aren’t rewarding enough to force me to push past other factors in my life rn. Like I’m in an “it’s not you, it’s me” moment. And I’ve gone through a lot of painful, “it’s not me, it’s actually all of you” scenes, which are way worse... but I still just can’t do it right now with all the .gifs I could want, with a theme set up, with an audition already in, and with people who want to write with me.

It can be great or it can be awful, and everything in between; it can be really validating and empowering, and it can be REALLY really lonely and hurtful; and sometimes it can be energizing, and sometimes it can be draining; and sometimes, the requirements (or unspoken “requirements”) for being in an RP in a certain kind of way are just not something you can or will fulfill.

That’s not a bad thing, it just is what it is.