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firemblem-fics · 4 years ago

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Running With the Wolves [3]

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-> Pairing: Yuri Leclarc x Fem!Reader

-> Modern!Au | Gang!Au | Enemies to Friends to Lovers

-> Word Count: ~2.4k

-> Warnings: Violence, Blood, Intense Scenes, Alcohol Mention, Someone legit gets shot, Other things I probably forgot about

-> Summary: You were just a normal college student, trying to find her way in a new place. You didn't mean to get caught up in the wrong crowd. You just wanted coffee, but now you're running with the wolves.

-> A/N: hi i’m back hello this took me a little bit to do because after the action scene i simply lost motivation but it’s back i know what i want to do and i WILL do it. also, just an fyi, i, as a writer, do not condone anything that my character, Hiram Chapelle, says or does. Hiram is meant to be an ass and for gods sake he’s quite literally a psychopath. That’s how he’s written. I’m just saying for future reference because Hiram is a shitty person and I plan on keeping him that way LOL

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If someone had told you, months ago, that when you moved to Fodlan, you’d be accidentally caught up in gang activity, you’d laugh in their faces.

What a silly notion, You’d nearly cry out of laughter, Fodlan is safe. Nothing happens there.

What a fool you were. Everything was too easy. Life was too simple for there not to be a catch. That’s the funny thing about the universe and her strange ways. There’s always a catch.

Your mother had said that God always tests you. That you’d know in hard times, He was just challenging you. The only thing you knew at this moment was that if God really was real, you’d like to have a few choice words with him.

Your test was only getting more difficult with each step you took. Each limp, actually. The frigid night air numbed nearly every part of your body, except for your ankle. Instead, it burned with a fiery intensity. Your shoe was tight enough to prevent a bit of the swelling, but you needed medical attention soon.

You laughed bitterly- you’d been saying that you needed help for a while now. Your arm, your ankle, and now probably a therapist. Physical and mental help were on your to-do list.

Biting back another shiver, you fumbled with your phone. The screen was black, only showing a little red battery in the middle of it. Dead.

The window you’d jumped through was in the back of the house, facing a patch of woods. In your rush, you didn’t think to run another way to get out, only pushing forward until you had no clue where you’d come from and where to go. Everything was forest. Everything was dark.

Until it wasn’t.

A flash of light shined from behind you and you gasped, running to your left and trying to hide behind a larger tree. The flashlights came closer and you held your breath.

“What doesn’t she fucking understand about you can’t leave?”

“Well, boss, you were a little rude about it-“

“She’s in danger! And she doesn’t even realize it- the seriousness of this situation. I don’t care if I’m rude or not, she’s risking her own life being this stupid.”

You resisted the urge to scoff. Yuri was definitely a rude individual from what you’ve interacted with, but of course he didn’t care.

The lights were getting even closer now. You stepped back and started to run again, ignoring the pain. You’d get help when you were safe. You tried to stay light on your feet, but couldn’t help but crush the fallen leaves under your feet as you ran.

“I hear something that way!” Constance shouted and every light flashed in your direction before the group began chasing after you.

Your heart caught in your throat as you willed your legs to work faster and faster. You’d be okay- you’ll get help when you’re safe. Lungs burning, you surged forwards still and tried to take different turns to make them lose your trail. It didn’t work.

“Y/N, stop!” Hapi yelled out.

You didn’t answer, still running. Suddenly, you were airborne. Your feet flew off the ground and you landed two feet in front of a tree root, sticking up from the ground. You were hyperventilating- they had caught up with you.

Before they could reach you, Yuri also stumbled over the root. His flashlight and handgun both flew out of his hands, skidding to a stop in a puddle of mud in front of you. You lurched forward, grabbing the gun and pointing it at the group. It was just Balthus, Hapi, Constance, and Yuri, but you still felt helpless. They could easily overpower you, but you weren’t giving up without a fight.

“Stay back!” You cried, your finger sitting shakily on the trigger, “Don’t come any closer!”

Hapi put her hands up. “We don’t want to hurt you- we want to keep you safe!”

“Keep me safe? By making me some bad guy in a gang that I never even asked to be a part of?”

Yuri scoffed and tried to step closer, but you quickly aimed the gun at him. “You think we did?”

“No more. Don’t come close, I’m warning you.” You could only utter a few words.

The leader of the Wolves ignored this, putting his hands out in front of him, “Drop the gun and this will be okay-“

“STAY AWAY!” You were screaming at this point. Everyone tried to shush you, but you couldn’t stop. Hysteria did such cruel things.

“Y/N-“

“NO!”

You closed your eyes and pulled the trigger, your arm injury hurting slightly from the recoil. Constance yelled out, grabbing onto Yuri, who seemed to fall in slow motion. Your head was spinning. Stars seemed to twinkle in the trees and bushes in front of you instead of staying in the sky like they should.

You swayed for a moment, watching the three try to help their leader. Blood seeped out of the right side of his abdomen. You tried to stay awake, but soon the gun fell out of your hand and you went limp beside it.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Your mind was awake before your body. You could feel the velvet sheets beneath your fingertips and smell the comforting french vanilla aroma that wafted through the Wolves’s house. It was warm- almost too warm for your comfort. Or maybe it was the fever you were running from stress.

You tried to smack your lips together, cringing when the inside of your mouth resembled that of a desert. You needed water.

Peeling your eyes open, you groaned. The lamp beside the bed was too bright, contrasting greatly against the still-dark sky. How long were you out?

You sat up on the bed, feeling sore, but brushed it off and trudged towards the door. You opened it and headed towards the stairs when you heard voices in a room across from you, two doors down.

“She’s already caused too much harm. I say we let her go and let natural selection take its course.”

You scoffed. Typical Hiram- rude ass.

“No- no. We brought her into this, the universe has basically ordered us to keep her safe. If any Eagles see her on the street, she’s done for.” Hapi reasoned.

“That might be a good thing-“

“Hiram-“

“She shot Yuri! He’s not waking up because of her!”

The silence that followed his outburst made your heart clench. You didn’t mean to actually hit him- you just meant it as a warning shot. Hell, you didn’t even know your aim was that good.

“He’s going to be fine. In the meantime, we need to contact Claude or Dimitri and see what’s happening.”

Claude? Claude, the boy at the pizza shop? You rolled your eyes. Of course he’d be a part of this- whatever this is.

“What if they’re siding with her?” Constance asked worriedly.

“Trust me, if it’s anything that Claude’s against, it’s an imbalance of power. As for Dimitri, I’m not sure.”

Your hands began to shake again and you blinked rapidly, trying to push away the looming realization that no, this wasn’t a joke, and yes, these college kids are in a fucking gang. You supposed a part of you didn’t want to believe it until now, but it crashed onto you like a bag of bricks.

These people have hurt others. Killed them. You hurt someone too- you shot a man. A man who apparently is trying to keep you safe.

Continuing to blink, this time biting back tears, you walked down the stairs into the kitchen. Grabbing a glass from the counter, you filled it up in the sink and began chugging.

One glass.

Two.

Maybe if it was alcohol, you’d feel a little better. But it wasn’t. And you didn’t.

More footsteps resounded from the stairs, making their way through the living room and into the kitchen. Hapi entered first, followed by the other four. She gave you a tight smile, choosing to mess with some papers that still rested on the kitchen table.

The papers were frenzied and unorganized- they must have really rushed out once they realized that you’d left.

Hiram walked past and bumped your shoulder rather harshly, making you spill your third glass of water down the front of your shirt. You hissed, wanting nothing more than to yank out those snowy locks of his, but he was definitely armed and no doubt dangerous. You valued your life a little too much to mess with the little man.

Eventually, the group sat down at the table and Hapi patted her hand on the wood, pointing to the empty chair across from her. “Please, Y/N, sit.”

You did so, awkwardly, clasping your hands and putting them in your lap. You didn’t want to look up, already feeling the five intense stares burn into your form.

“It seems our first little talk wasn’t as… effective as it needed to be.” The redheaded girl began. “You were seen with us in the cafe when Edelgard attacked. You let your mouth run, disrespecting her. And I can assure you right now, that the Eagles have all the details on you. Especially since one of their own seemed to recognize you. Like it or not, you’re in this now.”

Hiram snorted, leaning back on his chair and nonchalantly checking his nails. “You’re stuck with this, toots. If you didn’t want to be, you should’ve stuck behind everyone like a good little coward and let the big dogs fight over the bone. You could’ve easily been seen as a citizen and an innocent bystander, but no. Something in you said ‘hey, let’s be a bitch to these people who suddenly barged in here with guns’. If I didn’t know any better, it would seem to me like you were practically,” He leaned forward, his icy eyes boring into your own, “asking for it.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, but still kept shut. He wasn’t necessarily wrong, you could’ve easily decided to let the obviously-more-experienced people deal with it, but in your defense, you didn’t know at the time! You didn’t even think your 5 second long conversation with this Edelgard chick was as negative as they made it out to be.

Crossing your arms, you willed your face to remain stoic. “I just don’t see why she’d have it out for me. I didn’t even do anything that bad.”

“Look, look at my face.” Hiram pointed to the bridge of his nose, where a deep, pale pink scar contrasted against his skin. “Rhys and I used to be… involved with them. Her little lap dog- Ferdinand- did this. Because I made some ill-timed joke.”

You couldn’t help but glance over at Rhys, whose eyes had darkened at the mention of his past. The mention of Ferdinand’s name and his affiliation with the Eagles made you wonder about everyone’s past- how exactly did all of these people get involved with such a deadly life? You didn’t have much time to dwell on it before Balthus spoke up.

“Listen, little one, just stay here and chill out until we can a hundred percent confirm that the Eagles aren’t associating you with us. If they’re not, you’re free to go.”

“And if I am?”

“We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”

Everyone at the table gasped and turned around to the kitchen entrance, where the strained voice had come from. Yuri was leaned up against the door frame, holding onto his side still. His torso was bare, but the skin was covered by bandages and gauze.

The Wolves shot up out of their seats, rushing over to their leader.

“Yuri!”

“Why are you up?”

“You need rest.”

Yuri just chuckled at them, hiding a wince as his stomach contracted with the laugh. “I’m fine, I’m fine, everything’s cool. Not the first time.”

You still sat at the table, watching as they helped him sit in his place at the head before going back to their own seats. The Wolves really seemed to care about each other, you noticed, and felt a small pang of guilt for causing them so many problems already.

“So, Yuri-Bird, I was explaining to everyone earlier that our best choice of action is to contact Dimitri and Claude and see what’s happening in their little sectors of the world.” Hapi folded her hands on the table, “I know with about a 90% certainty that Claude will be against whatever Edelgard’s doing. Dimitri, I’m not so sure.”

Yuri nodded, taking in the information. “We need stronger people going to Dimitri, then, just in case he sided with her.”

“Which is why I decided that it would be best for all of us to go together. Dimitri has that one assassin with him- the Black Cat or whatever his alias is.”

“It’s Felix. I wouldn't forget the name of such a hunk of a man.” Hiram practically swooned.

Hapi rolled her eyes. “...Right. So, we start with Claude and then move on to Dimitri.”

Rhys raised his hand for a moment, making Hiram shush everyone. He said nothing, only jutting a thumb at you as if asking ‘what do we do about this chick?’ The room was quiet for a moment, then Constance clapped her hands together.

“She can stay and take care of Yuri!”

“What?” You and the previously mentioned man cried out.

He turned and glared at you. “You lot are going to entrust my healing to the same bitch that shot me? No. I’m coming with you all.”

Balthus shook his head. “She’s right, Boss. You could barely walk down here. You need to rest before you get back in the game.”

“Yeah,” Hiram began to laugh, “I’m sure Miss Girl will fix you right up. Maybe she’s better at caretaking than she is running away.”

You returned Yuri’s glare, but quickly switched it to Hiram. He lost his smile and quirked up an eyebrow, as if challenging you to say something. You didn’t.

“We leave tomorrow morning at 8 o’clock. Yuri, you sleep in. Y/N, be up early to change his bandages.”

Hapi stood and stretched, letting out a large yawn before walking out of the kitchen.

The rest of the group followed, Yuri lagging behind as Balthus helped him walk. His lavender eyes pierced into you, obviously extremely angry at you. You shuddered. You absolutely did not want to be alone with him tomorrow.

Dreading morning, you went to your room and tucked yourself back under the velvet sheets, watching the hall light turn off and listening to Hiram’s annoying voice echo throughout the walls.

“Goodnight y’all! Sweet dreams- except for the Princess, of course.”

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taglist: @fairyblue-alchemist @emperor-pizza @flavoredmilktea @sadies-stories-n-things @blviddyd @laurexlance @atomicchocolatecookie @mapesandoval @local-goth-lilz

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mommymooze · 4 years ago

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Premonition

Since you were young you’ve dreamed of your death. You watch yourself being stabbed in your stomach. Your eyes follow the dagger coming for you. At first it is from your point of view. As you get older, you watch from the views of others watching your death. You don’t see your whole self nor your clothes. Just your skin, you know its your skin, your stomach, and the knife. Everything else is misty.

You sign up for the Officers Academy at Garreg Mach to learn how to defend yourself and fight bandits, useful as you come from a family of merchants in Conand territory. You are welcomed into the Blue Lions, becoming good friends with everyone in the house. You love having professor Byleth as your teacher. Then the war begins, and everyone goes home. You reunite briefly with your parents. They are too old to fight, so they leave for Morfis or Almyra, somewhere not in the middle of a war. You take what they cannot sell, returning to the ruins of Garreg Mach, and descend into Abyss.

The Ashen Wolves are happy to have you. Yuri sells and trades the goods from your parents for essentials to keep Abyss fed and healthy. The Wolves are still fighting alongside the kingdom, having joined their house once they were discovered. Their war is underground and in the shadows. You frequently are out with one if not all of them running a covert operation to disrupt Imperial forces, stealing enemy supplies and generally make things difficult for Edelgard.

Several times a month you dream of the dagger slicing into your stomach. The vision has changed since you were younger. You watch skin being sliced, the blood quickly flowing like a waterfall down your abdomen. You stand in the grass outside on an overcast day. You can identify the angle of the dagger. You think the wielder is right handed and aiming straight for your heart.

Yuri is contacted by a small band of fighters from Duscur. You assist sneaking them through the kingdom, helping to get them into the dungeons of Fhirdiad before the enemy can execute Dimitri. You escort them until they are out of the city. Dedue is hurt in the mission, you must leave before you know how serious his injuries were. Dimitri is in the worst shape of any of them, but his injuries aren’t all physical.

Yuri then sends you and Balthus out to Riegan territory to work with Claude on a mission. It is good to see the Deer’s leader and even better to hear that he feels he owes something to the kingdom.

You are sent on fighting missions, spying missions, covert missions, trading and food recovery operations. The imperials killed the local chicken farmer. You think it’s a terrible shame to leave all of those chickens to starve. Trying to hide from the Empire’s army in a heavily wooded forest with bags of noisy chickens is one of the more challenging recent jobs. It’s worth it. Abyss now has a chicken coop well below the cathedral, under the long high bridge. Bandits don’t make it down there frequently, so they have a good steady supply of eggs for feeding the residents.

Five years is a long time when you look back at it. This war seems to never end. There is always fighting, fires, thefts, murders. The borders of the countries on maps are blurred, constantly moving, yet not moving at all.

Yuri has the wolves +1 head topside. Today is the day of the Millennium festival. You run up a hill and are thrilled to see a mop of red hair coming into view as you maneuver over the rise. You run to stand alongside Felix and Sylvain just as they are being attacked by bandits. Everyone’s showing off their new skills, taking down enemies with ease. Quickly Annette and Mercedes join the group, Hapi bringing them into view. In a matter of minutes bandits are dead and the group is reunited. The most surprising detail is that Byleth is back! There are tears of joy and grateful sighs. Dimitri is there, but he’s doing worse than the last time you had seen him. He stomps off to the remains of the Cathedral. There is a huge presence missing as you all are still standing in the grass and weeds of the fields. Dedue has not returned.

The Blue Lions make the monastery their base. They clean up and begin to rebuild Garreg Mach. As soon as the training grounds are functional, Felix is after you to spar with him. You always had a great time fighting with him. He was always serious, so intense. You had laughed at him then, always telling him to loosen up. Now honing your skills is absolutely necessary. There are no requests to go easy. Only to fight, to learn, to get better and be better than the next enemy that could stand before you.

Both of you have changed greatly over the time spent apart. You are both stronger, faster than you were so long ago. He looks more muscular than he was in the past. He’s also taller. As the fight continues his strikes are still strong, straight and true. Your strikes become more ruthless, fighting more with your survival instincts than beauty and finesse, just like your enemies have been fighting you for all these years.

Felix forces you backwards and you suddenly find yourself against a wall. His sword is at your throat.

“Hah.” You smirk, glancing to your left.

“Yield.” The master swordsman nearly spits, shoving the point of the sword into your chin.

You smack him on the shoulder with a ball of fire in your hand, flames flashing out in every direction, breaking his concentration. You then cast lightning at him, the shock of the electricity forcing him to let go of his sword. You hit him with mire just as he hits you with lightning, the force of the spells crashing and sending you both flying backwards a few feet, landing flat on your asses.

He looks angry enough to spit nails. You start to giggle then give a full hearty laugh. You smile because you haven’t laughed like that in a long time.

Begrudgingly he walks over and offers a hand to help you off the ground.

Just as you pick up your sword you hear the word that makes your heart leap.

“Again!”

The day is overcast when the Empire attacks the monastery again. It is a difficult fight, so many are injured, however Byleth & Dimitri’s army is successful in defending the academy. Byleth’s presence makes a huge difference for everyone.

Your dreams are every 2 or 3 days now. They have transitioned again, becoming longer and more detailed. You can tell that there are two larger shapes around you. You see your hands reaching for your stomach, your fingers are already bruised and bloodied. It hurts, starting with a sting then feeling the blade go deeper and pain is completely washing over you. The pain is what wakes you. You cannot go back to sleep with this going on inside your head.

Dimitri is a mess holed up in the Cathedral, you decide go to visit him after your premonition.

“Have you come to stare and mock the beast?” The Prince growls.

“No. But quite often you refer to yourself as a dead man. I understand that. I will be dead soon too. I’ve always dreamed of my death. The older I get, the more frequently I dream of it. I’m getting close. Figured the dead should hang out together.”

“I need no others to die for me.” The giant man mumbles.

“I believe in what we are fighting for. I believed in your father. I wont haunt you Dimitri. If I get a choice to haunt anyone, I’ll go to Enbarr and torment Hubert and Edelgard.”

Dimitri doesn’t laugh. He only stands before you quietly as you get up to leave him. You recognize him as one of the figures in your dreams. Silently you remove yourself, walking aimlessly around the grounds.

As per the orders of the War Council, everyone marches to Ailell to gain more troops. They are attacked by Gwendal, the Gray lion. Fighting in battles is hard enough, but when the ground is hot enough to cook a steak, it’s nearly impossible. Your sword feels like it is red hot through your gloves. Still you hold on to your weapon tightly, bringing the enemies to their knees. Rodrigue arrives just in time to assist in taking down Gwendal. The old knight looks relieved at finally finding death. The Duke and his additional troops are sorely needed and join Dimitri’s army. It takes days to get the smell of burnt flesh out of your nostrils.

Everyone heads back to the monastery. You are walking among the wagons when Rodrigue rides by on his horse. You glance his way and nod. Then you stop. Looking at the Duke of Fraldarius, seeing his shadow revealed by the light of the setting sun, you recognize another shape from your dreams.

You are up early every day now. Felix spars with you all morning. Sometimes you spar with him in the afternoon, or head to Abyss to work out with the Wolves. You become more restless with each passing day. If you can’t train with your sword you run, run until your lungs are on fire. Anything to keep yourself moving. You eat, you sleep, or at least try to. Sometimes you fall asleep while eating. Nobody really notices, it seems to be a common occurrence. The joys of war.

The next battle is for the great bridge at Myrrdin over the Aramid river. Ladislava holds control of the bridge and taunts the Blue Lions. Dimitri is screaming for her head in addition to Edelgard’s. The fight has barely begun, you are in the back sending magic after enemy forces when the sound of heavy knights came from behind. You turn to see…Dedue!!! He runs up to Dimtiri, ready to fight for his side. The Blue Lions are extremely energized, they decimate the enemy troops on the bridge. Ladislava is defeated in record time. Everyone is overjoyed that they have cut off the Empire from obtaining any further supplies from the north. Most importantly, they are whole and happily celebrate Dedue’s return.

Every night. Every freaking night the dreams are tormenting you. You dream of an overcast day. They are there, standing on the grass-- Dimitri, Rodrigue, and one other person in front of you. You are out of breath. The dagger appears, you reach for your stomach, a gash in your shirt, pulling at the dagger with your bruised and bloody hands, blood flowing out of you like a river. You scream…and wake up.

You head to the training grounds to practice with Felix. He notices. Your swings are careless, ruthless, the look in your eyes is wild.

“Hey!” He grabs you by your collar, choking you slightly. “Don’t go full boar on me. We need you.”

You spit and stare at the ground. Taking a deep breath you finally answer, “Okay.”

You spar with him but hold yourself back. You need to keep yourself in control. It’s so difficult when the end is so near.

You join Annette and Mercedes in the kitchens baking cookies. You pay way too much for spices for cookies, but it’s not like you need the money much longer. You leave a small box of the not too sweet, heavily spiced cookies at Felix’s door. You hand out a few cookies to each of the Blue Lions that you meet. You can’t forget your friends in Abyss and send a box of cookies their way as well.

Running to the Cathedral you see Dimitri standing at his pile of rubble. He even acknowledges your presence. You are grateful that Dedue and Rodrigue are here for him. You thank him for his leadership and for everything he has done for you and the Lions. You leave as suddenly as you appeared. He looks a bit confused.

Heading to the marketplace, you stop by the armorer and pick up your custom chainmail shirt. It is heavy and goes past your hips. You wear it under your tunic everywhere you go. You even start running with it on, it becomes your second skin.

The army is on the march. They are prepared for the encounter with the Empire’s forces. They have good intel that the Alliance may be sending their army to meet with them as well. You hope that Dimitri and Claude can talk before so that they can work together to take down Edelgard, however the Alliance Lord has not responded to any of Byleth’s requests. You think that there is a spy that must have intercepted them. Claude would have joined you, you know that.

The army stops for a break. There is a large stream nearby and you bathe quickly to get some of the dirt and dust of the road removed. The call to resume marching is much too quick, you grab your clothes and struggle into them as you take your place in the procession.

The three armies converge on a single point. How appropriate that it should be Gronder Field. Just as you are heading to take your position, you realize something is missing. Your vest is hanging on a branch back at the stream. You remind yourself to pick it up on the way back.

The horns of battle sound and you are running towards the enemy, teeth gritted and sword at the ready. The Empire’s soldiers are getting closer by the second. The battle is a blur. You take out enemy soldiers left and right with the flash of your blade. If you can’t cut through their armor, you cook them inside it with fire or electrocute them with lightning. You are part of the main surge of fighters, creeping closer and closer to Edelgard. You hear Dimitri screaming for his revenge. To help him you fire spells at Hubert while stabbing Empire fighters, hoping that your spells can break his concentration away from defending the Emperor.

Dimitri screams as Edelgard retreats, Hubert warping the pair of them away. There are still a few Empire soldiers and you strike them with lightning. Rodrigue rides up to the Prince, dismounting so he can check his wounds. Just as Rodrigue stands next to Dimitri, you look to the right and a young girl is screaming and breaking free from a kingdom knight. She runs towards the two men, screaming about getting even and revenge. Your feet are moving before your mind can catch up, you can’t let her get to them. She sounds insane with rage, demanding revenge for her brother’s death. You drop your weapons to help you gain more speed, she is pulling out a dagger. You’re not sure if she is targeting the prince or the duke. She takes a swing at Rodrigue, slicing into his coat, then pulling her weapon back again to thrust it into his side. You are there, putting yourself between the dark haired man and the ruthless girl. You are grabbing at the weapon, however her deathgrip on the dagger doesn’t loosen, she’s going to kill someone, anyone and she thrusts the dagger into you. Dimitri quickly reacts, bringing Ahredbahr down upon the enraged girl, ending her life.

You reach for the blade with your already bloody hands having fought all day in the battle, you are trying to remove the knif, your fingers slick with your own blood flowing out from your side like a river. You suddenly feel too weak to pull it out. Your legs are giving out underneath you. You feel your body falling. Dimitri and Rodrigue are yelling. There is so much noise, then the buzzing in your ears takes over, the darkness begins to cloud your vision, you recall only a little light in the center showing Rodrigue’s pleading face before everything is black.

You open your eyes but they do not want to focus. You lift your head and it falls back to the pillow, being overcome with dizzyness. There are a multitude of voices, some are shouting, all of them speaking all at once. You want to cover your head and make it all go away, its too much. You lift your hands but they are so weak you drop them. You welcome the darkness as it takes you in.

Things are quieter now. A woman’s voice softly speaks. “Are you awake dear. Nod for yes.”

You pull your chin down, you can’t lift your head much, you feel so incredibly weak. You want to open your eyes but that feels impossibly difficult.

The voice says we’re going to prop you up so you can drink something. It will make you feel better.

Hands from both sides lift your shoulders to tuck a pillow beneath you and then under your head. You grimace at the pain but it stops quickly. You feel a small bottle brought to your lips. You take a little sip, your mouth is so dry it feels cool and wet.

She is telling you to swallow. Ohh, cool on your throat. You open your mouth for more. They let you have a few more sips.

You fall back into a deep sleep.

You waken the next morning hearing the deep voice of Rodrigue advising the healers that you are awake.

“It is good to see that you are still with us.” The Duke smiles.

“How.. how am I not dead?” You gasp, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Since she was prevented from killing me, I was able to heal you. I am a Holy Knight of the Kingdom you know. I was able to heal you, stopping your bleeding as quickly as I could. We then brought you back here. I will notify Dimitri of your recovery, he will be most pleased.

“Thank you for saving me.” You whisper.

“It is I who must thank you. If it wasn’t for your quick intervention, I would not be here.” Duke Fraldarius smiles widely at you.

The clerics check you over, allowing you to sit up. Eventually you feel well enough to clean up and even have visitors.

One by one the lions come to visit. A pile of gifts and flowers begins to accumulate on the table next to the bed.

Felix arrives and shoos everyone away bringing you dinner, which is thin oatmeal. Bestest oatmeal you have had in a long time. While you eat Felix stays to keep you company.

“Oh. I talked to my old man.” Felix says as he fiddles with a piece of loose leather on a belt. “We’re going to try to talk to each other more. That’s a start right?” He asks as he looks at you.

“That’s great. I think you guys are lucky to get a second chance. Not that things will be perfect, but better.” You say as you finish your dinner.

“Have you had that weird dream any more?” The swordsman wonders out loud.

You think, “No. It was every single day and now nothing. I thought for sure it was my death.” Your voice trails off.

“Maybe you get a second chance too.” Felix almost smiles as he takes your empty bowl away.

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iohourtime · 6 years ago

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Think Note Vol #75: Day of Remembrance

Myojo 06.2019

(Translated from scans by MoMozzz32 on weibo. The photos are also from her account. Please let me know if there are any errors.)

One memory I have of my birthdays was the jelly cake my dad personally made for me.

There are as many days of remembrance as there are important memories. For example, he will turn 26 on May 9th of this year. Of course, there is another day that has special meanings to him and the fans - the day JUMP was born.

----------

When I was a kid, it is a tradition for my family to gather around the cake to celebrate my birthday. At that time, I was allergic to dairy* and could not eat cream, so my dad would personally make a jelly cake for me. It was not easy to get stuff like almond milk or rice milk to replace cow’s milk in those days. [Of course] I also get presents from my parents each year. However, the memory that is fresh in my mind was the scene when they celebrate my birthday with the jelly cake. Although it surely happened when I was 2 or 3 years old, I still remember it clearly.

* I found out last year that a dairy allergy is not exactly the same as being lactose intolerant, as in you could be both, so I am just going to stick with allergy to dairy as he said in the article.

I am going to be 26 on May 9th this year. While there are no big changes upon my entry into the second half of my 20s, I do start to look forward to the future a little more. Although, rather than [my advancing] age [making me feel that way], I think I was greatly influenced by Okada (Junichi) kun, with whom I’m shooting “Moeyo Ken” right now. I think Okada-kun is someone who has grown very well. [Alternative translation: He is very skillful at achieving personal growth with his age]. Not just for his work as an idol, he also made a detailed plan for his future as an actor. For example, he decided “I want to play this sort of role at 30”, so naturally, he could visualize what he needed to do [to get there]. Although this is just my personal opinion, when I am standing in front of the camera, I can’t think that “It’ll be OK since I am a Johnny’s” at 26 years old. That’s why, as a man, if I want to become someone with a strong heart, I have to accumulate all sorts of experiences of things I have not been able to do before now.

Everyday is a continuous learning experience on the set of “Moeyo Ken”. This is the first time I am doing actual stage combat scenes with opponents. Not long after crank-in, I used the prop sword (katana) I got from my scene partner, (Ito) Hideaki-san, to practice over and over again in order to get closer to Okada-kun’s level of sword fighting skills*. In between shots, also at the hotel, I was always practising. After a month, although I am finally comfortable with using the katana, I won’t be able to use it outside of the set** at all. Unless it is out of necessity, not only is it very dangerous to use a katana in very crowded places, it is also discourteous to others. In addition to what is required on set**, there are also rules I needed to learn and I feel that the warrior’s code (bushido) is very profound.

* I saw the trailer for Okada’s “Samurai’s Promise” and he looked really cool with the sword fights. Considering Okita Souji (Yamada) was supposed to be even better than Hijikata Toshizo (Okada), there is a lot of pressure. Plus Okada is (one of?) the fight choreographers, so there are even more pressure.

** Shibai (芝居) could mean stage / play or a person’s acting skills. In this context, I used set or movie instead.

Now that I am an adult, I am not that interested in my own birthday. Although I am very happy and grateful for the celebrations they threw for me at various work locales, I am not too fussed about private [celebrations]. I don’t think I’m expressing it well, but I don’t place a lot of importance on [the celebration of my birthday]. I can’t remember what I did for my birthday last year. That said, starting some years ago, Chinen (Yuri) will come to my home to surprise me and then hang out! If he decided to come again this year, then I will apologize now, I am going to runaway to some place I won’t tell him in advance (laughs).

Although I don’t make a big deal out of my own birthday, I am the type who takes the special days of people important to me very seriously. For example, I will send a congratulatory mail to my family or members on their birthdays, I also do that on Jump’s formation date of September 24th. On that day 12 years ago, they announced our group’s formation during the live broadcast of the concert we were doing at Yokohama Arena at that time. Every year on September 24th, I will [first] think of the painful memory of the lost connection during the live broadcast [of our debut announcement] (laughs). Beyond that, [September 24th] is also a very important day to remind me to refocus my mind with “let’s keep working hard from this point on”.

“Firmly establish your future plans and run towards this future.” - Ryosuke

#myojo #think note #yamada ryosuke #translations

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freakyfeline · 6 years ago

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Through my eyes

I am particularly happy with this prompt so I decided to share it here. Also I’ve been wanting to write a Sci-Fi AU for ages, and finally here it is.

****

Title; Through my eyes

Fandom: Yuri on Ice Type; science fiction AU Characters; Viktor Nikiforov, Yuuri Katsuki, Yakov Feltsman. Summery; Yuuri Katsuki had just graduated and moves to Tokyo in order to find a job at a national Robotics company, but after a few setbacks he ends up becoming apprentice to one of the most well-known engineers of the field; Viktor Nikiforov. It all seemed to good to be true until he discovered a secret that will shake the very fabric of his reality and existence.

*****

A traveller come all the way from the small town of the northern regions to the heart of the country; Tokyo. The city was as urban and metropolitan as one can imagine, with its towering edifices and large advertisements screening on a loop. The streets were clean, owing to the low-level robotic machines which were left autonomous to tend to the public service. Hologram screens appear in front of restaurants and shops to mark the opening and closing time.

Another wonderful feature about the city is the people. There was a woman in smart dress as she walked to her car while her servant-robot followed her in tow burdened by her grocery bags. Servant-robots were commonly used for those who could afford them, and they would perform the daily domestic chores. They were the closest to a humanoid shape, however they could not be endowed with artificial intelligence due to the law conventions made by the board of the technological development and science committee. However there was an increase of percentage among the population who had prosthetics and despite of the fact that even these alterations were heavily restricted; the boundaries between robotics and humanity seem to be decreasing at an alarming rate.

Tokyo became one of the leading countries in technological development of Robotics and so a hub of people from all over the world were here trying to take part in the great movement, and Yuuri was one of the many. Yuuri Katsuki was a twenty-four years old and a fresh post graduate who was ready to kick-start his career. The RPC was the leading organisation that specializes in making robotics and it was because the Japanese post-graduate received an invitation of an interview that led him to leave his hometown and travel to the capital. However, he was too nervous and unconfident during the interview and he ended up not being chosen for the job. It was as though life was mocking him for aiming up so high.

Such a great opportunity seemed one that could never come again, so he was quite shocked and surprised when he received a video call from one of the most influential engineers in Robotics, Viktor Nikiforov. Yuuri was sitting on a balcony; smoking a cigarette and thinking whether he should ditch yet another pointless interview, when an autonomous voice interrupted his thoughts. Reluctantly he walked to the living room and pressed on the giant touch screen, when a hologram panel popped up and Viktor appeared on screen. It was hard to imagine the confusion that Yuuri felt by this strange turn of events, especially by the fact that the man who had been an inspiration to him his whole life had just offered him a job as an assistant.

Viktor worked at the RPC Company as he was one of the most important key factors of this technology. The company is a manufacture of robots that can perform mundane, dangerous or undesirable duties; from house-keeping to building constructions and waste management. The Russian scientist worked on researching and developing new technologies as well as improving existing ones, but all that bulkhead of research was reserved only to the company. In fact RPC had strict policies on keeping all of its information from leaking out, so Viktor could not even work these projects outside the company’s complex. However the silver haired man had other personal projects that he wanted to work on, and Yuuri was assigned to assist him in this job.

The Russian scientist was greatly interested in neurology, in fact he had a degree in medicine and continued specializing for a diploma, but somehow he turned the page to engineering. It was a mystery as to why he made such a sudden change, but from this experienced he developed an interest in a chimera of engineering and medicine. He was no longer interested in manufacturing machines that served to replace undesirable jobs, but also to use his talents for other departments that would have bigger impact on people’s lives. His initial interest was in working on neurological diseases however there was an article about Viktor that questioned his reasons for suspiciously and abruptly leaving St Petersburg and moved to Japan. Yuuri was no med student; he studied biology but his major interest was engineering, so he was initially unsure of how he was able to be any help. Luckily it turned out that he was more straight-forward than he thought; mostly involving in sorting the data of Viktor’s research in coherent and systematic way, filing and doing reports. It was a long way from becoming a full-fledged engineer, but it was definitely a good start.

Yuuri was sitting in the small office/laboratory room of his boss’s apartment. He was observing a machinery prototype which would be worn by the leg to machinery. The function of this prototype was to help children with cerebral palsy to be able to walk straight. His job was to test it by touching one of the fibres and observe how long it takes to react. The aim of the experiment is to mark the delay between the contact and reaction. At first everything was going smoothly as he tested and marked the timing down on the journal, however without warning, there was a wild electrical spark coming out of the prototype and it exploded, making Yuuri fall off his chair. With the shock, the Japanese apprentice trembled all over feeling the electricity running through him. He tried to call out but he could hardly speak, so with little strength that he had he tried to get up, but he was too weak. In the semi-conscious state he was, he looked at his arms which were blackened, but even more terrifying thing was that he saw bits of metal under his skin and his hands too had skin scraped off and exposing a grey second layer. Before he could process this strange effect, his world became black and he lost his consciousness.

***

The white curtains bellowed and flapped with the white breeze. Its sound awakened him to an unfamiliar white room which was sterile and clean. Yuuri found himself bandaged and tended; and felt level of warmth and comfort by the fact that the older man took care of him. However that pleasant thought was interrupted by a memory which came back with a flashing vengeance.

He remembered the metal under his skin, and he felt a terrible thread looming over his body like a death sentence. With a kind of fervent panic, Yuuri started removing the bandages and gauze, exposing the burned and blistering flesh. No matter how much he stretched his skin between his fingers to find that metalled layer, he found none. Viktor nearly shrieked when he walked in and saw Yuuri exposing his injuries like that. He quickly ran to his side and grabbed him the wrist to make him stop.

“Are you crazy? You’re going to get infected!” Viktor cried out in panic. In that moment Yuuri had noticed the round and puffy redness around the other male’s eyes and thought; was he crying? Was he crying for me?

Yuuri was confined to the bed for another day until his boss made sure that his injuries were healing well. Slowly and painfully the Japanese assistant was on his recovery, and the blisters were starting to deflate and the pain subsides, eventually he was able to continue work as before. As he was filing his employer’s messy cabinet, a kind of shock overtook him. It was as though someone had just grabbed him and shook him really hard. Then a he saw his skin being burnt and revealing a metallic plate underneath, then there was noise in his vision and the image froze and started fragmenting into red yellow and green patterns. It must have happened in a few seconds, but it felt much longer than that, leaving the Japanese man utterly confused.

One might think that such an occurrence was a freak incidence that would happen only once, however he was having the same strange shock sensation along for a few days and frustrated as he was it was time for him to ask Viktor about it. The Russian man was always attentive and friendly with him, but he tended to ignore everyone else. Yuuri found it flattering, but he thought of it as nothing more than a quirky characteristic of his personality. When the quiet assistant asked the Russian engineer about these strange occurrences, he felt quite disappointed that Viktor dismissed it as nothing more than a temporary after effect of the accident that he experienced. It made Yuuri feel somewhat more suspicious, because the silver haired man was dodging the questions and avoiding the topic altogether. Viktor was definitely hiding something and whatever it was, the Japanese assistant was determined to find out.

On a particular uneventful day, Yuuri was working alongside his boss, biding his time until he found the right opportunity. Viktor who was cheerful and completely unaware of these plans, moved around the kitchen to make lunch.

“We don’t have milk”, the silver haired scientist remarked with a frustrated and slightly annoyed tone. He closed the fridge and smiled at Yuuri “I’m going to get some, be right back” and with that he dashed off. Normally he would have sent Kio, his servant robot, but since ‘she’ had a malfunction, he had to do these chores until he fixed her.

It was the perfect opportunity; Yuuri stood up and watched him through the window to make sure that he left the building, then he sped off to the laboratory, almost falling flat on his face when he stumbled into the IM-26, a machine built for cleaning and for those who cannot afford a servant-robot, but in this case it served as a temporary replacement. Normally, Yuuri would not have access of the office unless Viktor was there, but he had managed to ‘borrow’ the card key when the older man wasn’t looking. He felt a tightening feeling around his chest as he walked to the office. With a slide of the card and a click, he opened the door and started looking for any clues that could help him in his quest. The room looked like an ordinary office; with a bookshelf (because he loved some of the old fashioned things), but he also had a book storage machine lying on the oak desk. It was an eyepiece that was worn like glasses. It managed to project holograms of books and with the help of a nodule on its side; it could turn the page and zooming functions.

The light bulb lit green, which meant that he had been using it, so out of curiosity Yuuri wore the eyes piece and flickered to see what was Viktor was reading. The truth, hit him harder than he ever imagined. It was a newspaper article about a young Japanese apprentice named Yuuri Katsuki, twenty-five from Kyushu, who died in a car accident. The Japanese had been working as an assistant of Viktor Nikiforov for two years. In that moment Yuuri was unable to breathe, he took off the eyepiece and thrown it on the desk, gasping for air. His knees gave way but he held tightly on the desk like a shivering leaf. He had no idea how long he stood there, trying to process the discovery; the mere existence of another Yuuri meant only one possibility that he…it could not be true, it was against the rules, but then again what did he really know about Viktor?

Slowly he walked out of the office and went back home not being able to face the older man. He felt so devastated that as he walked through the streets, he found himself no longer captivated by the beauty and the charm of the city. Instead he felt it was a gloomy and oppressive, because he admired the avant-garde technology that this century had brought forward, only to discover that there was always a consequence to such advancement. Yuuri felt sickened at the mere concept that he was not what he thought he was. He could not acknowledge this new information because if he did, then he would have to face the reality of his existence. If he really wasn’t a human and he was a copy of someone else then what about his memories, where they his own? Or did Viktor add the previous Yuuri’s memories into his own? And if all of this was true, then what was his existence? Was he merely living as a substitute? Was there anything about him that is individual to him, or was he just an empty shell? Does he only live to serve for the purpose of the one who created him? He felt furious about Viktor because he felt like he was created as nothing more than a play toy. No matter how important that human Yuuri was to him, he should have never attempted to play God. The Russian engineer had completely neglected of Yuuri’s own feelings and his own consideration in the matter. After all, he might be a machine, but he was also a living, sentient being and as such he should have had some reclaim and saying on his own life. He should have known the truth right from the start.

There was a ping sound and Yuuri picked up his cell phone and when he pressed the button, an autonomous voice started detailing him of the missed calls that he received from Viktor, but the deluded android dismissed them and continued walking. It did not matter where he ended up just as long as his legs kept walking on and on and on until he felt too tired to keep going. The sun was already making its descent and the skies darkened above his head. A few heavy droplets of rain started falling, until gradually it increased to a downpour. He did not know why or how, but he found himself in the street where Dr Feltsman lived. The middle-aged Russian professor mentored Viktor when the younger scientist was studying in University. Dr Feltsman had been retired for many years and so he currently lived as a hermit in order to dedicate himself solely to his research. The old professor was never a people’s person so it came to no surprise that he preferred to live the rest of his days alone in company only to his projects.

Yuuri quickly ran up the stairs to the apartment block and pressed the buzzer, but there was no response. It took several buzzing before there was a grouchy response from the other end,

“What?”

The android felt a bit timid as he cleared his throat “It’s me Yuuri”, or a copy of Yuuri, he thought silently to himself.

There was a click and the door was let open for the apprentice to enter and walk to the second landing. He knocked on the door but he found it open so he slightly pushed it gently

“Hello?”

“Come in” came the response from within the living room.

Yuuri walked in and smiled softly, realizing that this was the first time that he had been in the professor’s house.

“What reason do I owe the pleasure of your visit?” Yakov said emerged with a cup of coffee in his hand, his tone sounded too polite, almost sardonic.

“I have…something to ask you about”, Yuuri responded, realizing that he had come here without plan to talk about what had come to pass.

“Sit, I’ll make coffee”, the professor stated as he put down his coffee mug and went back to the kitchen. There was complete silence except for the ticking of the clock. It had been a long time since he saw an old fashioned wall clock and he couldn’t help but being curious, because a man who was so dedicated in technology, he had very little of such in his apartment.

Dr Yakov remerged with another cup and placed it into the apprentice’s hands “Sit” the older man ordered as he himself sat down on the couch. Yuuri did as requested and found a place on an armchair. There was a silence between them that seemed to stretch to no end. The android Yuuri had no idea where to begin or what to say to the older man. It was most likely that he was going to reveal Viktor’s secret, but he needed someone to talk to about it.

“ I…I’ve heard…well read…about an article…an article of someone named Yuuri Katsuki…” speaking softly, those words were incredibly surreal to him as he said them.

“Ah…I see” Dr Yakov responded, contrary to expectation, there was neither shock nor sudden revelation on his face, it left Yuuri feeling very puzzled.

“Y-you you knew?! The deluded android uttered in a startled manner.

The professor groaned and then he raised and then slumped his shoulders in a relaxed pose, or was it defeat? “I did not approve it, but that damn fool does what he wants anyway!” he growled and angrily rubbed the back of his neck.

“-Did you…did you try to stop him?” Yuuri staggered, feeling utterly confused about this whole situation. Considering that if the other Yuuri had lived or Viktor would have been stopped, then he would have never existed.

“I argued with him for weeks to stop to this madness...but as you can see” The old professor explained. There was no need for him to specify, Yuuri’s own existence was proof enough of what had come from that decision.

The android could not help wonder if he should feel disdain or anger towards the professor for trying to stop him. As he thought about it, he realized that he wasn’t in fact angry with him, in the end he felt agreeing with him. Even though this was about his own existence, it was not right.

“But know this kid, Viktor was a reckless and selfish idiot, but he had passion. The two biggest passions in his life merged into one. His apprentice and lover Yuuri Katsuki and his work, and you are both of these things into one. I am not saying that what he did was right, he did break the law and playing a fool’s game. I am sure you’re wondering about your own life right now, but I thought you should know what you mean to him. You mean everything to him”

Yuuri felt devastated at those words, because at that moment he felt too angry with Viktor to sympathize with him.

“I don’t know what to do” Yuuri pressed his hands against his face, feeling despair building inside of him.

“Have you talked to him?” The professor asked.

The android shook his head and replied, “I can’t see him at the moment”

There was a long pause, which then was interrupted by the older man suddenly standing up and walking away, but a few minutes later he came back with a pillow and a cover.

“Here” he said, conveying in only few words, Yuuri understood that the professor was offering him to sleep here for now and he appreciated it. He stared emptily at the pillow, but he knew that he will not be able to sleep. It was strange to him how he realized that he really did not need these basic needs, he was just programmed to. That thought created a gnawing feeling inside of him since everything that he believed, felt and experience wasn’t genuinely his own, then what was his reality? Was he going to be simply a clone? Or could he be a man of his own?

#Yuri on ice #drabble #Viktor Nikiforov #yuuri katsuki #Yakov Feltsman #Sci-fi AU #AU #prompt

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calliecat93 · 6 years ago

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RWBY Volume 6 Season Review

It's been a Hell of a ride dear readers. From train wrecks to zombie Grimm to mech battles, Volume 6 has had many twists and turns that have held absolutely nothing back. Now that it's over, it's time to look back and answer some important questions. Was this volume good? Did it improve the problems of the last volume? And how does this volume stand against the rest? We have a lot to go over and this is already several weeks later than it should, so for the final time lets get into RWBY Volume 6.

Visuals

Do I even need to say that the animation was good? Of course it is. The animation improves with every single season, and they knocked it out of the park here. If anyone was still doubtful about the change to Maya after Volumes 4 and 5, then this will show you that they have absolutely mastered the engine. Character animation and expressions are lively and energetic, which again isn't a surprise anymore. I have nothing new to say about the general animation. It's good. Really, really good..

The backgrounds and set pieces have greatly improved. A big problem with V5 was that we were mainly restricted to Qrow's Mistral house. It's a nice house, but being stuck in one setting for so long gets... well, boring. The other settings were either ones we were now familiar with (Menagerie) or nothing all that special (Raven's camp) with the exception being the Spring Maiden Vault. But the upside to V6 being a journey based volume like V4 means that we get more settings, and all of them were good. Brunswick Farms was cold and eerie, Lil' Miss Malachite's bar very much felt like a criminal hangout, and of course the beauty that is Argus. It's a massive city clearly based off San Francisco and they DON'T use 2D stills to get the point across. We get one episode where we get to see the city in full, and it makes us engage with the location as a result. And that's not even getting into everything in Chapter 3. The sets were all visually appealing, unique, and I very much loved everything.

There's also the effects. Oh gosh, the effects. Snow is very prevalent in this volume, and it looks beautiful. Just watch the opening shots of Chapter One, the falling snow against the trees looks freakin' great. Compare the trees to the ones in Volume 1, you WILL see the massive improvements that Maya have provided. In the effects department though, Chapter 3 wins. The blue smoke effects during Jinn's flashback just look so good and really give it a mystical feel. Hell, Jinn herself looks freakin' great. Other-worldly and kind of God-like, very fitting for a being made by a God and based off a genie. Which the character designs for the new characters also look great. Salem's human form making her look like a graceful maiden in a sharp contrast to her current form, Ozma looking knightly and regal, Saphron and Terra both look beautiful and their designs say a lot about them (Saphron is a fun-loving but caring person, Terra looks a little nerdy but also mature), it's all really good and diverse. I love it!

Finally, there is the big one. The fight animation. This was by far one of, if not THE biggest complaint about Volume 5, especially with the Battle of Haven...ugh... battle. They were too slow. ‘’characters just stood around. It was clunky and un-energetic. In short, people had problems. Well, I think it's safe to say that they listened. The fights are all fantastic. Chapter One alone addressed the concerns with the train battle, going very fast, had a badass fight song, and it’s fully utilizing every character involved. Same with the battle against Cordovan, again utilizing everyone effectively and giving all the characters a moment to shine. The one on one fights, which I thought were fine in V5, are also very good. Cinder vs Neo is very fast and has Neo using her Semblance very effectively, Maria vs the Grimm and then Tock truly demonstrated Maria's past skill and managed to make one minute truly tense and engaging, and of course Bumblebee vs Adam. It was badass. The entire thing. So... while I was pretty okay with V5's fights, I think it's safe to say that they redeemed themselves here.

So when it comes to visuals, the volume was very strong. Great expressions, nice and unique designs, beautiful set pieces, great effects, and epic fights. All of the visuals looked great. I cannot think of one bad or nitpicky thing to say about it. Even the opening looked badass, but that's no surprise. Once again, CRWBY stepped it up, and they perfectly hit the mark.

Voice Acting

Before we go any further... lets go ahead and address the elephant in the room to get it over with. Lets briefly go over Vic's performance as Qrow. AKA, that guy that I no longer have any respect for. For those unaware, not long after the volume ended Vic Mignonga was fired for accusations of sexual misconduct and will no longer be involved in the series. But putting personal opinion aside and just looking at his performance, he was very good and Qrow's feelings of self-loathing and bitterness was very well conveyed. While I WAS upset at Qrow through most of it, his conflicted feelings were clear and very well acted. Vic did good, but he still utterly screwed himself and I am sure that Qrow's new VA will be even better. Alright, got that out of the way. Lets talk about everyone else now.

The cast all did a very good job. Even just the guest actors, like Colleen Clinkenbeard as Jinn and Luci Christian as Lil' Miss. They get little screentime, but they very much bring their characters to life. Coleen makes Jinn a straight-forward but playful being who is clearly amused by everything, and Luci makes Lil' Miss a very confident, very unflappable info breaker who commands respect. There's also Mela Lee as Cordovan, and she does a delightful job in making the old woman a stern, grumpy jerk who is boisterous and egotistical. You can just tell that she was having a lot of fun with her lines, haha. Lindsay Sheppard did a great job in making Saphron fun, bright, and a comforting sister figure and same for Jamie Smith as Terra.

The villains VA were very good. Not too much to say about Hazel and Watts', so lets do everyone else. This was the epic return of Tyrian, and BOOY did Josh Grelle do a great job once again at making me feel utterly terrified of the character. The guy got back into the role seamlessly and once more gave an unnerving, but fun performance. Yuri Lowenthal got to display an emotion that isn't smugness for Mercury, who finally let out some frustration and hurt over his past and circumstances. You can hear the anger in his voice when he lets it all out to Emerald, and Yuri did a great job in conveying it. In turn, Katie Newville as Emerald did a fantastic job in conveying the thief's growing fear and uncertainty over everything that just makes you want to hug her. And of course, Jessica Nigri continues to be deliciously egotistical and smug with Cinder. I wanted to kick her in the face, but I'm pretty sure that's the intention so good job Jessica!

The standout among the bad guys though is Jen Taylor. Up to this point, Salem has been in one mode: very calm and mother-like. She would raise her voice a little, but normally she remained in calm mode and that was it. This volume? Ho boy, do they FINALLY let Jen show off her talents. She NAILED every single line. The despair, the hatred, the intimidation as her calm mask slips away. Jen's performance is as heartbreaking as it is terrifying. You go from feeling horrible for her in Chapter 3, to hiding under your bed in Chapter 4. Jen got to pull the kiddy gloves off, and she did NOT hold back.

Now onto the main cast. Ren and Nora's VA's did very well especially when they comforted Jaune. Speaking of, Miles performance in Chapters 8 and 9 were just heartbreaking. You could feel Jaune's anger, pain, sadness, and finally acceptance in Miles' delivery. He did great. Aaron Dismuke and Shannon McCormick did very well when they each did their incarnations of Ozma, as well as of Oscar and Ozpin respectively. Garrett Hunter got his final hurrah as Adam and while he has been... meh at times, his final go was utterly chilling and terrifying. We also had the addition of Melissa Sternenburg as Maria, and she was just great. Maria was a super fun character, and that is very much in part due to Melissa. She was always energetic, but also greatly conveyed a sense of wisdom and experience in her delivery. She's a very welcome addition to the cast and, given her old lady roles in Nomad of Nowhere and Camp Camp, I think she has a great career as animated old ladies of Rooster Teeth ahead of her!

And finally, onto Team RWBY. Kara as Weiss was good. Nothing else to really say there. Arryn did a great job with Blake, greatly expressing her guilt, new comforting side, and fears very well. Her entire performance in Chapters 10-12 were by far the best that she has given, perfectly coming across as emotional but determined especially when she finally broke down once it was over. Barbara as Yang also did very well. Yang spent the first half very angry, frustrated, and kinda stand-offish and Barb did a great job in conveying that. She lightened up in the second half, which was nice. Her best delivery was in Chapter 12 when she truly beat Adam. Her delivery conveyed much strength, and I loved it. But I must say that the best performer by far was Lindsay as Ruby. Say what you want about the pitch, but Lindsay did a fantastic job. In this Ruby got more serious and no-nonsense, and Lindsay did a great job in making her sound much more mature and decisive but still fun and energetic. She has always done a great job, all of them have. I fully expect them to be even greater in the next volume. They all really showed how far they come, even Kara despite not having much to say aside from her being good.

So yeah, great voice acting across the board! Five stars!

Music

WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN?!

Do I need to say that all of the music was good? Is that a surprise anymore? The one thing that everyone has ever agreed on when it comes to the show is that Jeff Williams music is good. He doesn't disappoint here. His and Alex Abraham's scores are all perfect. The epic score in Chapter 3, the horror music in Chapter 6, the flute rendition of Red Like Roses and This Will Be the Day in Chapter 9, every single score was VERY good. Even the one piece done by Casey at the very end of Chapter 2 sounded great, so kudos to her on her first try~

Then of course, there are the vocal tracks. Going into each and every one in detail would take up too much of this post, and it's long enough as it is. But each of the tracks are very well performed. From the rocking opening theme Rising, to the emotional heart-breaker that is Forever Fall, to the massive 'f*** you Adam theme of Nevermore in the credits. All the tracks perfectly fit their scenes and the characters that they are meant to represent. I may do a full analysis of the songs once the soundtrack comes out. But, going off what we’ve heard of them so far, here's my current rankings of the tracks and which episode they played in:

Rising (Opening Theme)

Nevermore (Chapter 13 Credits)

Forever Fall (Chapter 9)

Miracle (Chapter 1)

One Thing (Chapter 5)

Indomitable (Chapter 13)

Big Metal Shoe (Chapter 11)

Lionized (Adam Character Short)

We’ll see if those change when the soundtrack is released. But either way, all of them are great songs that are once more performed perfectly by Casey. Her range continues to be impressive as Hell, being able to do hard metal songs like Big Metal Shoe and somber ballads like Forever Fall without skipping a beat. The girl is an insanely talented vocalist who, being a singer myself, I continue to envy but admire. Jeff of course also did great on the songs he sang in such as Lionized, as well as guest singer Adrienne Cowan in her badass duet with Casey on Nevermore. I REALLY hope that Jeff will bring her in for future tracks. And going back to Jeff, once more the writing and composition for these tracks are all badass. The fact that the man has delivered six quality soundtracks in a row that just keep escalating in quality really speak of his talent and dedication. Something that I imagine will only continue into Volume 7.

Characters

Now we get to the long part! Yay! There's a lot to talk about, but my main focus is going to be on Ruby, Blake, Yang, Qrow, Ozpin/Ozma/Oscar, Salem, Maria, and Jaune in greater detail. But first, we'll get the ones I don't have much to say on out of the way.

Lets talk about the villains first. Namely Emerald, Mercury, and Neo. They all came out much stronger in this volume. Emerald has already been the most sympathetic, and now that everything is sinking in, her being uncertain and scared is no surprise. What she mainly needs now is to both gain the courage to finally leave and finally realize that Cinder has not, and will not, ever care for her. Mercury, despite keeping up a smug front, also becomes a lot more likable. He defends Mercury against Tyrian, reveals his motivations and some of the trauma his father inflicted on him, and despite that smugness we can see through the cracks. IDK if that makes him as redeemable as Emerald, but it's a good start. Cinder... is still a heartless bitch who if anything we hate even more now, but at least she's still trying. Then there's Neo, who I found incredibly overrated in the past... and still do. But now that she has actual motivation with Roman dead and her quest for revenge, she comes across as a better character and not just some psycho girl with a cute design who's just... there. Hopefully we'll see her fleshed out more in the Atlas arc, but as someone who really didn't give a shit about Neo, I'm much more interested in her now.

The villain who came out the best however is Salem. She doesn't change or anything, but now we understand who she is and what she is after. She began as this tragic maiden, locked away until she found love. She lost that love and went through a ton of tragedy and pain all because she wanted him back. She got screwed over, but refused to accept that death happens and... it's understandable. She went to the extreme, but her past self comes across as very sympathetic and human because of how harsh the Gods are to her. Then she gets Grimmified, and she becomes terrifying. She gains a God complex, yet we see that she still has the ability to love and care as she was to her children. But after Ozma 'betrayed' her, she threw that away. Salem went from this mysterious Big Bad, to a figure defined by tragedy. Someone who went through so much torment and grief and it twisted her into a monster. But we also see that, while sympathetic, she IS still a terrifying wicked witch who will not rest until she has wiped out all of humanity and gained her revenge on both The Gods and Ozma. Those who stand in her way be damned. She's still a force that has to be stopped, but at least now we understand how she became that way.

Since we're on that topic, lets talk about Ozpin. Holy Hell... Ozpin. This guy has gone through Hell and back. We finally find out everything about the man. His past, the reason for his motivations, the reincarnation deal, his connection to Salem. The guy was just a good-hearted person who found love, died... several times, and then got roped into serving the Gods to make sure that humanity didn't die the second time. You can understand why the guy is so secretive and just how cruel his existence has been. He is an equally tragic figure... but he too has done bad things. He's lied to people, lead them to their deaths for a cause that seems hopeless, and has essentially lead people on a suicide mission. While I do have some issues with how this was played out and what the show wants us to think of Oz, he ultimately was shown for what he is: human. He isn't evil, but he's not 100% good. He's done bad things, but it's all to try and save Remnant from something unfathomable. The world broke him, and he’s struggled to save that world. But now, with everything out and all of his allies turning their backs on him, he did what he did prior to the Maidens: lock himself away from the world.

Which brings us to Oscar... and how his arc was sadly not as good as it should have been. Not that it was bad, but it... really did not get the attention that it required. But the kid's fears over his identity are understandable. Who wouldn't be terrified, especially now that he's seen how this mess happened to begin with? But even so, he still tries. He still tried to help at Brunswick, he still tried to help keep spirits up in Argus (prior to Jaune's outburst), and while I wish we SAW him come to terms with his situation, he still did and proved beneficial in the airship mission. He really has taken Ruby's advice in V5, to keep moving forward despite the fear and pain. Because even at his lowest moment and more than enough reason to just give up, he doesn't. He still has plenty of growing to do, and I imagine that he still has things with Oz to sort out, but he's shown his potential and I think that he's going to go far.

Onto JNR. Not much to say about Ren and Nora sadly. Only that Nora was at her funniest here, and their support for Jaune was super sweet and really shows the team's unity. Now Jaune.... HO BOY. We all knew that it was gonna come to this eventually. First, Jaune's really matured. Chapter One alone showed him being able to quickly go into leader mode, how he's already gotten the hang of his Semblance, and despite his fear of losing more loved ones he understands what has to be done. It was also really cute to see his interactions with his sister and him getting to be happy again... until Chapter 8 hit. Jaune finds out the truth, and he is by far the most justified in his reaction. He lost Pyrrha, his friend and mentor, because of all of this... and it was for nothing. We all know that he's been struggling with Pyrrha's death and trying to move on, and we already know that he's got issues with all of this as Volume 4 demonstrated once he came to understand just what was wrong with Pyrrha. As such, I just felt horrible for him, especially once he realized what he almost did to Oscar and how bad he felt.

But of course, the biggest step is in Chapter 9. Everything is weighing on Jaune. His guilt, his pain over his loss, his uncertainty about what to do now. Then he's lead to the memorial, and he meets who I still assume is Mama Nikos. We see him process everything as he looks at the statue, that pain still shining through. Then he and Mama Nikos talks, and he finally starts to find comfort. He remembers what a Huntsman and Huntress is supposed to do, protect others no matter the price. He realized that Pyrrha knew what was going to happen, but if she could save even just one person, it was worth it. It as hopeless, yet Pyrrha fought anyways. It inspires Jaune to continue, and to finally find peace in his situation. Will he forget Pyrrha? Never. But now that he's been able to talk to someone, now that he's been able to let it out and have assurance from Ren and Nora, he can finally move forward. Which he does, creating the plan to steal the airship, defending against Cordovan, and he seems much more serious but happier as well. The paladin has grown a lot throughout the series, going from a buffoon completely out of place to a good-hearted warrior who will do whatever he can do wherever he is. Something that he learned from Pyrrha Nikos.

Next we'll go into WBY (I'm gonna bring up Ruby in a little bit) I don't have a ton to say about Weiss. She's afraid and uncertain about going back to Atlas since... well, she'd pretty much be going back to her abusive home that she just escaped from. It's all pretty subtle, but very clear and very much build up for her upcoming arc now that they made it to Atlas. So not much going for her development wise, but still she was great in this volume. Especially when she shattered the alcohol bottle and burned the Apathy to death (seemingly anyways). As for Blake and Yang... ho boy, where do I start?

This volume is very much the next step for Blake as she tries to fix relations with her team, though mainly Yang. We see small things like her comforting Weiss after she and Yang found the bodies, which it's just sweet to see her trying to be better and there for everyone. But of course, the biggest obstacle is with Yang. The girl is trying. She tries to help Yang with her stuff, talks about how Adam made her feel powerless, tries to be comforting... even if she said the wrong thing, but still she's trying. On Yang's part, she's also trying. It's good that she's not just angry at Blake like she was the volume prior, showing that she DID take Weiss' words to heart and is trying to let Blake back in. I... have my issues with Yang, like being hypocritical of secret keeping when she's yet to talk about Raven and I really think that her anger at Oz, while justified, was uncalled for and done at the worst possible moment. That being said, we do see that she's still struggling with her PTSD, the realization that things look hopeless, and I was okay with her by the second half.

Of course the final moment for their character arcs that has lasted since the end of V3 is the final fight with Adam. Blake confronts her demons for the final time, and Yang confronts the source of her fear and trauma. Regardless of what you think of Adam, he was very much the one who brought them pain, and it was only fitting that he be the one who brought it closure. Blake already took control back from him in V5, but this is her being forced to bring it to an end and affirm her promise to never leave her loved ones again. Yang had gained back the will to fight, but now she not only showed that she had become smarter with her fighting and her Semblance usage, but had her rip control back from Adam and at last exterminate the ghost that had haunted her. As much, the two fixed the damage to their bond that V3 caused and have come out stronger and much more supportive of each other. So do I think they're officially together? Mmm... not yet. I think at this point it's gonna happen, but IDK... I think we need more happy stuff between them first. But hey, the season got me to finally subscribe to the Bumblebee ship (even if I still hate people using it to harass CRWBY) and their arcs got the closure that it needed. It left me immensely satisfied and ready to see what happens with these two next.

Onto Qrow now and I was... mixed about him. Him finding out the full story about Oz and the seeming hopelessness? Yes, his anger was understandable. What made me lose sympathy however is how he punched Oscar (yeah it was directed at Oz but IDC, Oscar still felt it) and then told Ruby to not lie to the kid about not just being another of Oz's lives. He reverted to drinking himself stupid, which nearly got everyone killed, and just quit once things got too hard at Argus. I get that Qrow's struggling and I do like that his drinking is being put in a more serious light... but it just made me lose ANY sympathy or liking to him. I got some back once he expressed fear of the kids getting killed but in many ways it's too little, too late. IDK, I just did not like him at all in this volume because of how much of a downer and hindrance he was and he never so much as said that he was sorry. He kind of acknowledged his mess ups in the end, but it just wasn't enough for me. I hope that V7 makes amends for this and overall I guess it's good that this happened now. Plus hey, I lost my sympathy for Blake in V4, then loved her again in V5 and here, so I guess that might be the case with Qrow. We'll see.

Now lets talk Maria! Dear Lord, I LOOOVE Maria! She is such a welcome addition, especially with Ozpin now out of the picture. She's wise, experienced, and takes shit from no one while also being silly, sassy, and incredibly petty. She brought a lot of much needed levity to the darker stuff, like making everyone get their acts together after the massive flashback. Really in general she was the funniest character this volume. Her “Maybe she's dead!” line got the largest laugh out of me all volume. But as I said, she's also wise. She's stern, but friendly. She's screwed up and been through Hell, which she recognizes and longs to do something to make up for it. She does what she wants, but also recognizes what's important like say... getting out of a snow storm and THEN deal with your various emotions over the traumatic flashbacks. She is a strong, experienced, and optimistic figure and very much provides the guidance that Ruby really needs. She was a delight and I assume that she's going to stick around, so yay!

Which finally brings us to by far the best character this volume: Ruby herself. This was EVERYTHING that I have been wanting for SO LONG. Last volume, I was NOT happy with how she was shafted, got the Silver Eyes ignored, and just... did nothing. It pissed me off as a Ruby fan and was the one thing I was hoping to see them make an effort to improve in this volume. Which I am very happy to say that they GREATLY redeemed themselves with her character.

This is very much Ruby's volume. She steps up as a leader, she tries to keep everyone on their feet as things just get bleaker and bleaker. She goes against Ozpin when she questions if he meant what he said about the good in humanity, and even goes against Qrow when she finally gets fed up with his quitter attitude. She comes up with plans and faces every threat, such as The Apathy and Cordovan's mech head on because hey, someone has to. With Maria around and her now starting to understand her Eyes power, Ruby shows interest in learning it. Which all of it culminates n her facing the Leviathan, knowing that her power is their only hope. She may not have killed the Leviathan, but she now has a grasp on her power and it is because of her that Argus was saved. And all of this without losing the optimism and cheerfulness that we love about her.

Many say that Ruby hasn't grown at all since the beginning, and I have to STRONGLY disagree. In the early volumes, she was an awkward girl who's goal to be a Huntress was genuine, but her view was very idealistic and naive. She wanted to be like the hero of the stories he was told of as a child, but didn't understand all the pain and regret that would come with it. She knew that bad things happened... but she hadn't really experienced it aside from losing her mom, which she was too young to comprehend fully then. But now? She understands pain. She understands loss. She understands the importance of her job and just how bad that the world can be. But it doesn't bring her down, it only strengthened her resolve. Now, in this volume, shes had to step up since people like Ozpin and Qrow are incapable of leading. She's faced threat after threat, refusing to back down until she and her friends have achieved their goals. She used to be a girl asking Glynda, a Huntress, for her autograph. Now? She is that Huntress. It's not a naive girl's fantasy anymore, it is her duty and she will do everything in her power to make things better. Because that is what she signed up for, and she will see it through to the end.

As far as characters go, this volume did very well. It brought many character arc to a close, while leaving plenty of others open. Many got new layers of depth and had questions about them finally answered after so many years. New additions like Maria and Jinn were very welcome, and the new supporting characters like Saphron, Terra, Lil' Miss, and Cordovan were just really nice and fun to have around... even if Cordovan got off far too lightly, but meh. There were some good welcome backs, like with Tyrian and of course Neo. Even if I was annoyed at some, like Yang and Qrow, overall I thought that all the characters were great and I really have a new appreciation for pretty much all of them. Excellent work CRWBY!

Story

Back at NYCC, Miles and Kerry didn't say what the season's theme was, but that it would be clear to us by the time it was over. Well... it's over. What's the theme then? How about we take a look back and find out.

The main goal of the season is for our characters to reach Argus, and subsequently get to Atlas. Seems simple enough, but of course the road has many bumps. Grimm attacks, train wrecks, corrupt authority figures, nothing was simple to get accomplished. Even worst, the team get fed up with Ozpin's secrets and discover the truth: Salem cannot be destroyed. It sends them into despair, causing them to be tired of all the bad things that have happened and keep happening. They struggle to find hope and to continue on, especially with Ozpin locking himself away and Qrow just giving up. What do you when everything seems hopeless? Where no matter what you do, nothing changes and you just keep dealing with bad thing after bad thing? Do you keep going on? Can you move on?

To quote the fourth opening:

“Do we just go home? Can we follow through? When all hope is gone, there is one thing we can do... Lets just live”

The entire volume's message is to rise up and continue on, despite the despair and fear. In the beginning, the heroes get brought down form their triumph as the Grimm attack, they get sepearted and wrecked in a snow storm, find out all of Oz;s dirty secrets and just how bad of a place they're in. Which results in nearly all of them feeling broken. They're left in the cold, ready to give up. The Apathy make sit worst, causing them all to lose the will to do... well, anything. Even Ruby, the only one still trying to keep spirits up, nearly gives in. She's tired. They're all tired. They want to just be done with it and go home.

But they can't

Soon, they find hope. Maria helps Ruby unlock her Silver Eyes. They're able to escape Brunswick and make it to Argus and find their friends. But then Cordovan refuses to let them through, breaking Qrow and soon Jaune. But that doesn't last long. Jaune finds comfort by discovering Pyrrha's memorial and is reminded of what his duty is. Oscar, despite all his fears, decides to use the time that he has left to do what's right. Ruby, fed up with Qrow's attitude, finally decides to take over and defy his wishes. They survived everything thrown at them. Despite all the odds and obstacles, they are a breath away from getting to Atlas. It is their duty to help people, no natter what. So they're going to fight. They're going to make it to Atlas. And even if Salem can't be destroyed, they will stand against her to protect all of humanity. It ultimately leads to Ruby facing down the Leviathan, both herself and everyone else refusing to leace because it’s their jobs to fight, and she’s able to defeat it through her hope and love powering her.

Volume 6's story was overall very well executed. Every episode was well paced, moved things forward in some way, and always had something to invest our time in. A big plus side to this volume compared to 4 and 5 is this time, we don't have multiple main plotlines. We have one: get the Relic to Atlas. We have subplots of course, like Cinder being confronted by Neo and the stuff with the villains, but they don't get in the way of the main story. The main story is where the focus stays and what is the most important. Nothing ever felt like it was dragged or like it was just a massive exposition dump. And when we DID get exposition, they kept it interesting like using magical flashbacks to show us what is happening, for example.

Speaking of, this volume gave us the lore dump that we have been waiting for YEARS. We finally find out the history of Salem and Ozpin. We finally understand their respective goals and motivations. We find out that Remnant was magical until the Gods left. We get to SEE the Gods. We find out why the Relics are such a big deal and what will happen if brought together. We even get to see how the moon got broken! And even then, while we don't get full on explanations on the Silver Eyes or about Team STRQ, we get at least a little bit. Enough to re-ignite investment, but they're left open for future volumes. With those revelations, it can explain even more. Like Ozpin making the Vaults so that the Relics were as secure and far away form each other as possible and how, as the King of Vale, he ended the war. So many revelations came from this volume and it left me very satisfied.

I thoroughly enjoyed the story. It wasn't perfect, mind you. Oscar got shafted too much and his arc felt rushed, Cordovan got off FAR too easily for her actions, and I have issues with HOW Oz's secrets came out and how we're supposed to view the whole thing. I think the girls were justified in demanding answers... but forcing them out I think was wrong. Or at least considering the circumstances, it was wrong to do then. Also, they don't really suffer any consequences for it, but we may see those pop up later. And IDK what the narrative wants us to think of Ozpin. Are we supposed to feel bad for him? Be angry at him? I guess both, but due to the lack of consequences and the outright enraged reactions from Yang and Qrow being unadressed... it feels like it's saying that the girls were correct and that Ozpin is the bad guy, even though one can make a VERY good argument for why he was justified in his actions. IDK, I don't like that the narrative was saying that getting angry and violating people's privacy was right and suffering no consequences due to it. IDK how it could have been better, but... it just bothers me.

But nevertheless, we return to the question. What is the theme of this volume? Well... judging from the plot, the opening, and how it ended, this is my answer: keep moving forward. Okay, that might seem weird. Let me explain. Everything looks hopeless and bleak. Everyone is broken down or ready to give in. But in the end, they find the will to keep going. Ruby refuses to give up. She keeps moving everyone on, rising to take charge. Jaune is broken by the revelation that Pyrrha died for nothing, but soon realizes that she did what she knew was right, and he rises back up. Qrow is at his lowest, but Ruby finally tells him that he isn't responsible for them and pulls him back to his feet. Oscar knows that he may not be himself sooner or later, but he still decides to face the inevitable. Adam comes back, the person who broke both Blake and Yang, and they rise up against him for the final time.

Look at the characters who didn’t move forward. Qrow gave up after learning the truth/once things got hard and Ozpin also abandoned his responsibility while giving into his own despair. Due to it, things got worst for them. Adam abandoned any good and righteousness that he once had, now blinded by hatred and his desire to seek vengeance against Blake. Salem is still consumed by her God complex and hatred of Ozpin, which has caused her to lose whatever humanity that she still has. Maria was once a famed Huntress, but once she lost her Eyes she abandoned her duty and is now left guilt-ridden for it. Cordovan was blinded by ego and power, resorting to VERY severe actions that cuased lots of panic/damage and initially refused to accept her fault for it. These are all people who gave into their negative emotions and either gave up, abandoned their duties, or were warped into monsters. Some pulled themselves back, like Qrow and Maria, while others like Adam died for it. They gave in to negativity, and because of it things only got worst for both themselves and for others.

This volume is about how you have to keep going and NOT give into the negativity. Yes, things may be hopeless. You may not win the fight in your lifetime. You may either do horrible things, or find out that those you trusted did. Your entire worldview may crumble apart, and you're left to deal with the despair and pain. And yes, you may very well feel tired and like the best thing to do is to give up. But you can't. Others will help you stand back up. You can help others stand up. You can face those bad things and break through them, becoming stronger and better as a result. And no matter how the world looks, you HAVE to keep fighting. Even to the bitter end. It'll hurt, but you CAN do it, and you will. Because if you don't, who will?

I think the best way to sum it up is with these lines from the volume's opening:

“The lightning doesn't take advice from anyone. The willow doesn't need to learn to stand As sun meets day, we'll find out way, And we'll catch that dream together someday soon. We're rising like the moon.”

Final Thoughts

This has become my favorite volume of the series. Yep, even above Volume 3. What more can I say? The animation was great, the music was great,t he voice acting was great, everything was great! So many questions got answered, story arcs came to a close while leaving new ones open, everything that needed to be addressed for this volume was addressed while perfectly leading us into the next one. When the finale was over, I was left immensely happy and satisfied with everything. Even my couple of issues really weren't that bad. This was a fantastic volume and really shows how far that CRWBY has come since the beginning. I am very much looking forward to Volume 7, and again thank you CRWBY for an absolutely amazing Volume.

So once again, RWBY has come to a close until the Fall. Thank you everyone who has read my reviews, and I'm sorry that this took so long. Life sucks sometimes. If you want to see more stuff from me, I'll be reviewing RvB17 when it starts on March 9th and while I'm not reviewing Gen:Lock episode by episode, a season review for it will be made once it concludes. I'm also planning to do some more RWBY stuff before V7, like some character analysis and maybe even going back to review past volumes. We'll see how things go. But I had a lot of fun reviewing this volume, and again to all of those who stuck with me, thank you. I'll see you again for Volume 7~

#rwby #rwby reviews #callie reviews

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babysgarage · 6 years ago

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@teamfreewillcannotbekilled asked me to pick between victuuri and ash/eiji for the ask meme and i had a lot of thoughts which i decided to dump here :D

what they mean to each other

eiji is the only person in ash’s life who loves him unconditionally and wants nothing in return from him. he’s ash’s only source of warmth and light. after ash died, we see that eiji is not even close to moving on. he keeps all of ash’s pictures to himself, hidden from the rest of the world. he buys an apartment in new york where they met and in cape cod, ash’s birthplace. he still runs up to strangers who he mistakes for ash. he says it himself that it’s not true that he’s unhappy or that he’ll never be happy again, but i don’t buy it lol while in yoi, it’s made explicitly clear that victor didn’t just show yuuri his love, instead he opened yuuri’s eyes to all the love that’s always been around him. it’s also victor’s job to make yuuri love himself more. in return, yuuri helps victor discover love for skating in his fellow competitors, not just in the challenges he sets for himself. basically ash&eiji’s love is like a precious ball of light in darkness. you hold onto it for dear life and its importance outweighs everything else victuuri’s love is a light that shines on your world and makes everything seem brighter

ash and eiji protect each other, victor and yuuri inspire one another.

ash and eiji have repeatedly shown they’re ready to give absolutely anything (and yes, that includes their lives) to keep the other one safe. eiji is ready to become a murderer for ash and to take his place and pain whenever possible. ash takes a (unbeknownst to him, unloaded) gun and points it at his head with 0 hesitation in exchange for eiji’s safety. he also agrees to live out the rest of his life in his worst nightmare (a/n: unspeakable hell) so eiji’s safety would be guaranteed. in yuri on ice, the stakes, thankfully, aren’t that high. their relationship is mundane in comparison, and a lot closer to the reality that most of us will live in. there aren’t any ‘i’ll die for you’ moments’. they are each other’s source of inspiration and they’re willing to give all their time, knowledge, patience and effort to help the other grow. (well, we mostly saw victor doing this since he was the coach, but there’s no doubt that yuuri would do the same)

their dynamic

asheiji’s dynamic is fantastic imo. ash can only be vulnerable and act like a kid that he is and never got a chance to be with eiji. also their banter and teasing is hilarious. they also greatly admire each other. as for yuuri, we see him slowly opening up to victor and witness them entering their honeymoon phase (’we haven’t seen each other in 2 days so i need to hug you until we get kicked out of this airport’). we also get a lot of hints from the show and extra material that victor is much more reserved with others than he is with yuuri, so in that way, we see him opening up as well. it’s shown how comfortable they grow with each other and how much they enjoy the other’s company with every little touch.

canon soulmate status for both

asheiji are the ‘i’d move mountains to be with you, our souls are bound together in life and death’ kind of soulmates, while victuuri are like ‘we were fated to meet, there’s no person i could love more than you’ kind of soulmates. those two aren’t mutually exclusive, but it’s a slightly different flavor in my head. another notable difference is that the yoi creators are willing to let their characters be happy, unlike some people :-)

who do i pick?

the whole point of this word vomit was to say that i believe these two love stories are completely different in nature, and the only way i could think to choose between them is to base the choice on completely subjective matters: at the end of the day, i don’t want someone willing to die for me, i want what victor and yuuri have. i relate to yuuri and lot more than i do with ash or eiji, so his love story means a lot more to me personally. also, one of these ships completely broke my heart and the other made me happier than i ever remember being, guess which is which :D so yea, i choose victuuri, to no one’s surprise :)

#long post #i didn't proofread this so god knows what it says

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nagatsukinura119 · 7 years ago

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Analysis on Touko’s obsession to be Mio and her relationship with Yuu [Yagate Kimi ni Naru]

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An extremely lengthy post. Spoilers alert. You have been warned.

Well, for starters, YagaKimi is a one-of-a-kind manga, for me at least. Because this is the first time I read a manga that focuses in romance, but the main character is an aromantic, meaning someone who doesn’t experience any romantic feelings. Many yuri manga/manhwa I read so far are very “physical”, or at least very quick to become “physical” and let’s just say, overdramatic, or just too happy and easy-going. Even if there were some milder drama, the drama is too common like, the struggles of being in a homosexual relationship such as being afraid of being judged by family and friends, . And there’s also another common drama like a very uptight family or love triangles that prevent some relationships to bloom. I get that these problems are real but they’re becoming bland due to being overused.

Let’s also talk about the art first. YagaKimi has one of the best art styles I’ve ever seen in yuri manga. While I also like Citrus’ art style, YagaKimi’s art style has a sense of innocence and more diversity in terms of the setting. In the manga, we get to see different types of settings, ranging from the school, Yuu and Touko’s houses, the camp, the aquarium, and the fateful train road railway. By being exposed to the world of the manga, we can feel more connected to the story, which I think Citrus kind of lacks. And when it comes to the character designs, I can’t help but adore the way they are drawn. While most characters’ face shapes and hairstyles/colors are more or less the same, there are still subtle differences like some have plump cheeks and some may have narrower face shapes. There’s just something in Nakatani Nio-sensei’s style that makes me say “Awww…” and melt.

(Touko always makes my heart melt when she blushes and smiles. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH Y U SO DAMN ADORABLE!!!)

So the story mainly revolves around the main character, Koito Yuu, a freshman and a second-year student, Nanami Touko, who is a student council member. At first Touko claims that she also doesn’t feel anything when she gets confessed to. Because of this Yuu finally feels like someone is related to her. But after confessing her aromantic tendencies to Touko, Touko suddenly confesses to Yuu.

This is why I love about YagaKimi. It covers so many real things such as aromantic topics, self-loathing, and identity crisis. Not to mention the level of melancholy in the this manga is what I’ve been looking for (angst is my cup of tea!). Touko and Yuu’s relationship’s complication and trying to figure out what’s in both of their heads and predicting the ending of this manga is what makes me so invested in this series.

We’ll start with Touko first. At first glimpse, Touko appears to be your typical Student Council President-type; beautiful, kind, smart and hardworking. But it turns out this is a façade that she decided to take after her older sister, Nanami Mio, died seven years prior to the series. Throughout the series, we are told by Touko herself that when she was a kid, she was very shy, had no many friends and always hid behind someone, and to put simply; normal. Meanwhile, she saw her sister as the perfect role model, both at home and school. After Mio died, she was told by people to live for Mio’s sake and be like her. For the 9-year old Touko, who was clearly still in shock over the loss of her beloved sister, these words clearly changed her and from here she decided to stop being a nobody and then she thrived to BE Mio.

(A flashback of Mio that greatly resembles the current Touko)

In reality, Touko is still a timid person who would shake when she gets nervous enough. However, in order to not disappoint people who have high expectations from her, and to not destroy the image that she has built over the years, she keeps putting on the mask of the ‘perfect’ Touko. While most people may think that she wants to be Mio in order to be a somebody, I think there’s a more story behind it. In a dream that Touko saw, she remembers the day when Mio was about to get killed in a traffic accident. In that dream, we get to see that while the sisters were chilling in the family living room, their mother asked Touko to buy a drink (or sauce). Acting like a regular child, Touko didn’t want to go so she and Mio decided to play rock-paper-scissors game. Mio lost which resulted her to go instead. Later Touko woke from her nap because of a constant bell ring, impending the news that Mio got into an accident. This implies that Mio died because of Touko. And I believe that Touko knows this. Out of guilt, she decides to replace Mio who was beloved and admired by everyone. At the same time, she can get rid of her own identity. Touko claims that she hates herself and I think her self-loathing began when she realized that Mio died because of her selfishness. So that covers Touko’s obsession to be someone else besides herself.

Why Touko falls in love with Yuu was a very big question mark to me. Why Yuu, and why now? In Touko’s mind, she wants to be special to everyone because that’s when people praise her. But when people start to confess to her by saying something like, “I love that about you” which translates to her, “If you stop being like this, I won’t love you anymore”. Automatically she feels that if she stops wearing the ‘perfect’ mask, anyone who confesses to her would be disappointed with the real her who is a nobody. We covered from the first chapter that Yuu just can’t feel excited over romantic confessions. It’s not that she’s willingly disinterested, she just can’t and doesn’t know how. Because of this, she can’t find anyone special romantically. To Touko, this makes Yuu seem the nicest person because Yuu wouldn’t judge or discriminate her if she doesn’t have to wear the mask of perfection because she knows that Yuu won’t love her. One may think that Touko only sees Yuu as someone who she can vent out her feelings to, but not because of love. I can’t blame anyone for thinking this way because there is one time when she does treat Yuu like a friend with benefits (without the sex, of course). This happens in chapter 28 when Touko feels extremely stressed that she wasn’t acting like Mio perfectly and her own best friend tries to talk her out of it. She turns to Yuu and tries to kiss her for comfort. Not really a cool move there. But I think that Touko really does genuinely love Yuu. We can see it a lot of times throughout the story where we get to see how much she would do for Yuu, such as asking for a cheesecake recipe from Yuu’s sister Rei, after knowing that she loves cheesecakes, and in the same chapter we can see Touko fangirling when Rei shares a picture of Yuu sleeping (Rei is the best Touko supporter lol).

Now, onto the more complicated part of Touko and Yuu’s relationship. While Touko has made it clear that she loves Yuu to the point she just casually says “I love you” to her. This is pretty hypocritical from her side because she doesn’t want anyone to love her because the word itself acts like shackles to her. And she is doing the same thing to Yuu. In chapter 10, she tells Yuu to stay by her side, don’t fall in love with anyone else and don’t come to hate her. To put it simply, she wants Yuu to only stay with her, but don’t fall in love with her because she can’t stand with the idea that someone that she loves is in love with something that she hates: herself.

For Yuu’s part, as we progress through the story, we get to see her feelings towards Touko develop and change. At first she believes that she is only being nice to Touko simply because she’s too sympathetic to everyone, and not because she finds her special. But as the story progresses, we get to see Yuu’s way of thinking start to shake a bit. After Touko leaves her house, Yuu states she does want to fall in love with her. Right after this, she tries to tell herself that she doesn’t need to fall in love with Touko because it’s not she was lonely. But in chapter 10, her monologues have more conviction that she wants to love Touko.

But before she can even say these things to Touko, Touko tells her that she would rather die than being told that she can be just herself and she can stop from being Mio. This forces Yuu to say this:

But from these panels we can see how it hurts Yuu to say this. Because at this point, she can’t love Touko NOT because of her inability to feel romantic attractions, but more to she can’t afford to love Touko. This clearly is very painful to Yuu since she has always wanted to experience the excitement of being in love. As this scene goes on, Touko makes her promise to stay by her side without falling in love with her. Yuu knows that if she rejects, Touko would be separated from her, so she agrees to do whatever Touko tells her to do. Then in chapter 22, Yuu tries again to convince her to stop being someone else, only to face Touko’s stubbornness again. What’s interesting is that near the end of this chapter Yuu intercepts her own monologue for the first time.

Many of her monologues act more like self-assuring sentences, sentences that she tries to convince herself to believe. This can especially be seen in chapter 31 by the end of the play, Yuu’s monologue where she says Touko would be fine without her, thinking that Touko has accepted to just embrace herself, she keeps on repeating that it is a good thing. When she reads Sayaka’s line “I was special to you” and then shaking her head, to me is like her telling herself to let Touko go if Touko does learn to be herself which would mean that she feels she is no longer needed by Touko. Another example would be chapter 16, where she keeps convincing herself that the way she finds Touko’s unconditional love is nothing special and that the fast heartbeat she hears is Touko’s, and not hers. It is like implying that she denies herself that she loves Touko.

It seems that she is afraid to even admit to herself of her own feelings because she’s afraid that she would succumb to her feelings eventually. However, by the end of chapter 22, Yuu finally finds something she really desires; to change Touko. For someone like Yuu, who has always been the type of person who’d just get along with the flow, this is a life-changing thing to do. Here, we can see how Touko has changed her and she doesn’t hate it whenever they kiss or when Touko gets close to her.

While at this point Yuu and Sayaka share the aspect to not admit how they really feel to Touko because they’re afraid of how their relationship with her would change, I like the fact that unlike Sayaka, who is afraid to tell Touko that her obsession is a bad thing, Yuu wants to change Touko to stop hating herself and embrace the fact that people accept her for the way she is, and things that they do are for her, and not Mio. And we agree to this because what Touko does is self-destructive since she would be lost once she finishes what Mio couldn’t do when she was alive; the school play. Touko herself knows this as she questions herself in front of Mio’s grave.

What to predict:

At this point I can’t think of how the story is going to progress. After the play finishes, Touko tells Yuu this:

Now, I’m not so sure what this line actually means. It could mean that now that the play is over, she doesn’t have to replace Mio anymore, but her relationship with Yuu can still go on. The reason why I think this is what the line means is because of how Yuu takes the line positively as she now thinks that Touko can go on without her. And there’s also the fact that Yuu is holding the crutches that Touko used in the play. In a way, she herself has been acting like crutches for Touko. And the fact that she’s holding onto them as Touko walks away is like an allegory that Touko no longer needs her crutches aka Yuu. So perhaps there’s an incoming angst for upcoming chapters as Yuu tries to deal with being no longer needed by Touko.

While the play’s ending implies that Touko may have embraced the idea to accept her true self and stop becoming someone else, and while I think this could be an interesting turning arc for the series and development for the story, I don’t think Touko is ready to embrace herself like the character in the play. She’s just too stubborn for that and I think she still needs more push to stop her obsession. It is something that she’s done for years and it’s not going to just disappear in a snap. Also, I don’t think Touko’s going to stop relying on Yuu yet. She makes it perfectly clear that now that she knows how it feels to be in love, she’s not going to turn back. Also, when Yuu refused to kiss Touko, she looked extremely broken, like her only emotional line was snapped, and the only thing that was ‘real’ to her was rejecting her.

(Just look at how BROKEN and EMPTY she looked like after being rejected by Yuu)

#yagate kimi ni naru #analysis #nanami touko #koito yuu #yuri #bloom into you

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mandysxmuses · 7 years ago

Note

go off about DDLC

//Okayokayokay gonna put all this under a cut bc I’m gonna totally spill everything out just – just everything I can on the fly (and I’m also not gonna tag it under the game’s tag bc I am a scared muffin who fears someone will disagree with my thoughts and I don’t want to be labeled as a mental-illness-is-automatically-horror douchebag ;;;;; )

GREAT GAME GREAT GAME LET’S JUST GET THAT OUTTA THE WAY I LOVE IT (and again if you don’t that is fine your opinion is valid and I’m not tryna change anyone’s mind, I just have a different view of one of the main criticisms and I’m not trying to change your mind on that either)

I should state that I love anything cute that turns creepy. That’s just… it’s my shit. Cute stuff that goes off the wire and turns totally horrific is absolutely my thing

Or even otherwise innocent stuff slowly going horror (Unlimited Footage of a Bear - a anti-depressant booster commercial going haywire, Too Many Cooks - an 80′s.. no, parody of pretty much every show type ever going haywire, Tea Time - tea time with a granny going haywire )

So uh when I heard from my friendos that I should play this game called Doki Doki Literature Club

And it was already sounding like my thing my thing because I love anime waifus n shit

When I saw the first tag being “psychological horror” I was both like “Why?” and [Bluebeard Voice] “SHIT YES”

I was one of the ones who got to play it before there were let’s plays all over Youtube and even if there would’ve been at the time I didn’t look that shit up because I wanted the full TAKE MY BODY AND SHAKE IT experience

And I saw the anxiety and depression warning at the beginning and was like “Oh. I have both of those. … Eh” and played anyway

MY BIGGEST BUT ALSO MOST AWESOME MISTAKE (besides that fucking soda spill last night omg I don’t even think I told you guys the whole story but oh my god Sayo-nara might as well have been playing during that shit)

I, uh;; haha, disliked Sayori toward the beginning of the game. Not that i found her annoying or anything, it’s just the “ditsy childhood friend” trope was always one of my least favorite tropes so I kinda just found her meh. She was cute though (hahahahahaHAHAHA and you know what I’m pissed that this sweetheart who went through such a deep-ass development in such a short time has basically been reduced to nothing but a hanging joke

Like we get it. She hung herself and we joke about to deal with the pain bUT THERE WAS SO MUCH MORE TO SAYORI THAN THAT PLS STOP REDUCING HER TO THAT ONE POINT IN THE GAME C’MOOOON)

And perhaps this was a spoiler but I did not recognize it as one but one of said friends who recommended it to me told me to wait for Sayori to start acting off.

… My initial assumption with this game was that it was going to be one of those generic “ALL THE GIRLS WANNA MURDER EACH OTHER AND THEN YOU” things bc that shit happens all the time in anime but that’s not to say I wouldn’t love it anyway. Generic doesn’t mean bad ANYWHO I’ll stop getting off topic

Met Yuri. I liked her, but did not and do not think she was best girl, I just felt her personality was most like mine. Because I am shy af when I first meet people and feel like I have to walk on eggshells even around people I’m comfortable with (cough cough my fam) to make sure I don’t “fuck up” when really most of my fuck-ups consist of accidentally not hearing something or just putting on a song I like on the radio and then everyone else hates it and I’m like “oh.. I suck”

and then I get “Quit it with that pity-partying bullshit” (PSA: Don’t say that to someone like Yuri especially, that will not help her, in fact don’t say that to anyone unless they’re really tough and can handle that kind of .. uh.. advice??? )

Met Natsuki.

… LOVE HER lOVE HER SO MUCH I WOULD DIE FOR NATSUKI I WOULD DIE

because I love tsunderes. That’s.. that’s literally it. The moment I saw her saying she didn’t make the cupcakes for me or anything, I knew true love was meant to be between us. She would be my route, and if that route ended with her trapping me in a basement and forcefeeding me poisonous cupcakes until I died and a graphic image of my internal organs exploding showed, that would be just fine. Love is an open door with a tsundere behind it, bitches.

Met Monika. Liked her. … That’s it, I just found her nice. Before the poem game, I had already decided Natsuki was the one true best girl and I was not doing Monika’s route until another playthrough (I assumed maybe her route was special and it unlocked after you beat the game once at the time). Hahahahahaha HELP

… aND THEN THE POEM GAME CAME.

And I immediately noticed Monika wasn’t even there to be “seduced” by my sexy words. I asked why this was, and I just got “that’s the question you should be asking”

…………………………………..

immediate suspicion of Monika, slight fear of the other girls as well.

The rest of the game goes by pretty smoothly for me though. I keep gradually finding Natsuki adorable as fuckin’ shit. The more I see her, the more I picture her in a bridal costume with me skipping down the aisle – well, her more grumpily walking and saying it’s not like she WANTED to be there marrying me or anything.

And then Sayori got sad.

… Really sad.

Like, suffering from depression.

I didn’t even have to wait for her confession or anything, I could tell by the way this was going that it wasn’t sadness, it was depression.

And I was like “oh, fuck.”

And then our dumbass protagonist WAITS A WHOLE DAY to visit her and she finally explains to her that she has depression and the way she describes it? To me? Is the most fucking heartbreaking thing in the whole game, especially coming from someone who has depression herself. Everything she said was, to me at least, 10000000% accurate and it hurt. It hurt in a very personal way. I’m not afraid to say I cried.

… I’m not afraid to say I still cry when that confession part comes up in other people’s playthroughs. It’s that poignant and truthful and painful to me.

And I was like “OH FUCK. I CAME HERE TO BE TORTURED WITH FEAR, NOT SADNESS. THIS IS GETTING REAL RIGHT HERE. THIS ISN’T RANDOMLY MURDEROUS FEMALES WANTING MY ASS LIKE I EXPECTED”

Also I baked with Natsuki, which was cute as shit, but I was also pissed as shit that the protagonist, who just realized his friend is suffering from an agonizingly painful mental illness, JUST CASUALLY THREW THAT SHIT UNDER THE RUG BECAUSE HEY. NATSUKI’S AT MY HOUSE DOKI DOKI DESU~~~~~

“Is it really okay for me to stop thinking about Sayori when she might need me?” NO. EVEN IF YOU DO THIS WITH NATSUKI, YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT SAYORI AT LEAST IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND BECAUSE SHE’S STILL IMPORTANT, YOU LUSTFUL JACKASS.

ahem

And then me and Natsuki were about to kiss and Bluebeard throws me another SHIT YES for support

And then SURPRISE SAYORI and Bluebeard goes SHIT NO and stays there while Natsuki runs away

And Sayori goes on more about her emotions because not only does she have depression, but she likes MC for whatever asinine reason and fears that she might feel something different for him than he does for her

Which, again, is a very real fear any person can have that can be greatly intensified by things like depression or anxiety

And the game gave me two options:

“You’ll always be my dearest friend.”

“I love you.”

… Meanwhile, Bluebeard is nudging the dumbass MC’s leg and saying, “Help her seek help and find a therapist. Say you know it’s hard, Can-Opener, but – is that really not going to be an option? Is this bastard that dumb? … Can I bite?”

That said, I chose “You’ll always be my dearest friend” because, imo, saying you experience romantic and sexual feelings toward a person when you honestly don’t just because they’re depressed will only hurt them even more when they inevitably find out the truth and your relationship flops.

Turns out either option would have ended in the same thing – which, also in my opinion, is fine. When you’re a person like MC (not asininely stupid, but you just don’t know about depression), you might not know what to say or how to help and these things can end in the worst. It happens all the time.

That’s why, the way I see it, Sayori’s suicide scene was one of the most poignant, well-executed, horrific, and upsetting things I have ever seen in a horror game.

I know people say it was just for shock value, but I – I honestly have to disagree. When you’re depressed, and I don’t care how clumsy you are, hanging might be the option you go with when you become crisis-level suicidal. And knowing that Sayori has struggled with this her entire life – knowing the context of the situation – I can’t say it was just for shock. You’re damn right it WAS shocking, but it wasn’t just for shock value.

And the whole “mental illness is horror” thing – I think this is one of the most well executed examples of it. Because whether people like it or not, mental illness can be horrific because it drives innocent people like Sayori to hate themselves completely and to do these things to themselves. It’s taking something very real, something that could potentially happen and has happened – and throwing it right in your face. The trope isn’t bad if the illness itself is treated with respect, and I think this is one of the instances where it was. It didn’t just scream “MENTAL HOSPITAL!! PATIENT!! TRIES TO KILL YOU!!!! BECAUSE THEY’RE A MENTAL HOSPITAL PATIENT!!!! ZOMG!!ONE2!!” It didn’t have Sayori hang herself straight from the get-go and leave you wondering “… why the fuck?”

Mental illness as horror can be done right. Because it can be a horrific thing. I think one of the many ways it can go wrong is that often times (unfortunately) mental illness as horror is treated in such a way that the person themselves is horrific. Not the illness they’re suffering from. They’re horrific because they’re mentally ill. That’s a no-no. But that’s not something I got from Sayori.

With Yuri in the 2nd act, on the other hand, I can kind of agree. The way she began ogling over the player way more than before, THOSE EYES, the.. the scent on the last Yuri poem – I feel that was a bit overdone, and also framing her to be a monster.

However, while this was intentional, someone in the game screwing with the actual game’s fabric of reality was behind it – and it was acknowledged as wrong because Monika herself was behind it and making Yuri act that way – which again, was acknowledged as wrong. Sorry I keep repeating that. Even if it came off a little “ehhh…”, something acknowledging that as wrong is 10000x better than just – once again – “THEY’RE MENTALLY ILL SO THEY’RE SCAAARY. AND THAT’S NOT A WRONG, STIGMATIZING, MAKING-MENTALLY-ILL-PEOPLE-LOOK-LIKE-MONSTERS PORTRAYAL OF SHIT. WE’RE NOT APOLOGIZING FOR SHIT. DEAL WITH IT. IT’S SCARY.”

Monika as the antagonist was very well-done. I had no clue about it from the beginning, even though I felt something was off after the first poem game, and I didn’t reeeeally start suspecting her of shit until Sayori said the “Monika was right, I should just–” line

Holy shit

That’s an antagonist right there, and a fucked up one

So uh yeah. Doki Doki Literature Club.

9/10.

Not enough Natsuki.

#ooc #randathecartoonpanda #tw suicide

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fanfiction-wordsmith · 7 years ago

Photo

So, I wrote this in response to a new to Nonnie on my fanfiction blog and thought the information might be helpful for others, so wanted to post it here!

A sort of introductory guide to things that will help a new reader enjoy their journey through the vast world of fanfic without bumps and messes! Fairly long with my thoughts intertwined! Enjoy!

Pairing | Ship | Shipping | OTP

pairing–refers to the primary relationship in the story (some stories have more than one)

ship–the root of this term is ‘relationshp’, and implies a romantic relationship not platonic

otp–'one true pair’ (alternately, some fans have a NoTP), and it is a heartfelt love for a particular pairing in a fandom

ship/otp/pairing is UNIVERSALLY accepted to refer to a romantic/sexual relationship. It is RARELY used to depict characters as ‘just friends’, and to be honest, in most fandoms I have written for it’s frowned upon because it creates confusion in labeling. It’s best to presume any fic that has a 'ship’ name, 'otp’, or 'pairing’ listed that these things denote a romantic/sexual relationship between the two characters.

These terms are generally listed as character a/character b, and there’s a whole lot of crazy nonsense about who is dominate and who is the top and who is the bottom and all of this stuff that has actually caused fanwars and such which is completely ridiculous and I’m not even going to get into here.

Examples:

pairing: Yamada Ryosuke/Chinen Yuri

ship: Yamada Ryosuke/ Chinen Yuri

otp: Yamada Ryosuke/Chinen Yuri

or simply Yamada Ryosuke/Chinen Yuri <–this is a relationship tag, not a character tag. A character tag will not have the / in between them. The / denotes they are in a relationship, whereas if they were not they would be listed as Yamada Ryosuke, Chinen Yuri

Personally, I don’t put that much thought into which character is listed first, so A/B denotes absolutely NOTHING about the characters in my story or their sexual preferences.

It is VERY COMMON among all fandoms to denote this as SHIP NAMES instead of A/B. So if character A is Sally and character B is Robert, the fandom will refer to them commonly as 'Salbert’ or 'Robly’ or any combination of the name.

In this case there will be no note such as pairing, ship, otp, relationship, etc.

On my post that spurned this entry, an anonymous reader had been taken by surprise when my two male characters were involved in a romantic/sexual relationship. In the tagging and intro to that story, the fact that I called it a 'Yamachii’ (the ship name of the two characters) story is in and of itself meant to tell the reader that it is about Yamada and Chinen in a romantic relationship. This is a very common practice.

If you are going to read a lot of different fandom fics you’ll want to be very sensitive to this as A LOT of fics involve m/m or f/f or m/p ships. If you see terms like those above from your fandom then you need to open the fic with the understanding there’s a 99% chance that the content of the story will be about a relationship that is romantic/sexual in nature.

I couldn’t be sure if my reader was bothered merely by the content being simply m/m being in a relationship or if it was more along the lines of the explicit sexual content that appeared later in the story.

This is where the commonly used rating system comes into play:

(there’s been a movement to use a fanfic created rating system due to copyright issues from the whatever arrogant association thinks they can own the combination of letters below--it isn’t nearly universal enough for me to outline it here, as I find most writers are still using these ‘cease and desist’ provoking letters to signify their rating.)

Ratings:

G–non-offensive, suitable for all audiences

PG–some content may be included that isn’t geared for those who are younger or sensitive (like language for example) but these fics will not include, or if it is included it will be very MILD: overt language, sexual content, or violence

PG-13–content includes mild language and sexual content, depictions of violence

R–content includes adult themes–language, situational, sexual, violence, etc. but does not contain explicit depictions or words

NC-17–strongest rating, story will contain graphic or explicit sexual descriptions, language, and/or violence, must be 18 or older to read the story

and the additional term:

NSFW–'not safe for work’–stories that contain any element that is explicit in sexual nature that would make them sketchy to read while in a public setting where someone could potentially see (originally work, but now is understood to be coffee shops, libraries, etc.) Often stories will have a rating, as well as be labeled NSFW depending on the content and language expressed in the story

Since my story was labeled both NC-17 and NSFW the reader would know that there is explicit content, and in all probability in relationship based fics, it’s okay to go into it assuming it is sexual in nature.

It may also be beneficial to know some stories label 'relationship types’, though keep in mind–not all authors will feel the need to denote these kinds of details depending on how accepted they are in the fandom. However, the most commonly used types are m/f (male/female), f/f (female/female), m/m (male/male), and mp/OT3 (multiple partners or 'one true’ 3–>or more!) If you see these denotations it is commonly accepted that you will understand that these are referencing a romantic/sexual relationship and not a platonic one. Some stories will be labeled ‘femslash’ or ‘femmeslash’ (f/f) or ‘slash’ (m/m) as an alternative.

Author’s Warnings:

Along the same vein, most authors will also use warnings:

BDSM (or any combination of those four letters because not all stories will contain all of the elements) = Bondage Domination Sadism Masochism: Any story with the presence of bondage, dominance/submission, humiliation, punishment, pain play. Ideally, any fic with these attributes will be clearly labeled only because it freaks out people who are not necessarily looking for this kind of setup.

bondage (part of BDSM but the most common aspect of that which is used most often on its own)= use of physical restraint to heighten sexual experience–not when one character is kidnapped and tied up or things like that–this is universally used to denote its use in a sexual context.

character death–I know that a lot of authors HATE to put this warning on their fic if there really is a death in it, but I find that any author worth their weight will soldier through this for the sake of their readers. There are a few kinds of stories that will be greatly impacted if the death is revealed–in that case most authors will put a lot of effort into ensuring that the reader understands where the story is going.

kink/squick–something within a story that the author has no issue with but is concerned that some readers may be completely freaked out by. This is often listed in context with sexual content, though it can be multiple types.<–subjective and your 'issue’ may not be listed by the author

triggers–this is where an author will point out any elements of their story that could potentially offend or bother their readers, or at worse actually trigger a flashback or panic attack in someone who has survived trauma. This is VERY subjective and even the most conscientious author can miss a label inadvertently because whatever the trigger is they never imagined it as one. Common trigger warnings include suicide, slavery, rape, torture, self-harm, abuse, death, incest etc.

note about triggers: because of the subjective nature of triggers it’s important that a reader not put all of the responsibility onto the author to protect them from content that will be problematic for them! If a reader realizes that the story is moving in a direction that will become a trigger for them, they are responsible for hitting the back button even if it’s not labeled with a trigger. Trigger warnings are a KINDNESS from authors, because they often compromise the delivery of certain elements of their story when they reveal them–which I’m not gonna lie, I sometimes struggle with. I always put them, but I understand why some authors do not. Let’s look at it this way, main-stream published works do NOT put 'warnings’ on their content for this reason AND the fact that they take ZERO responsibility for handling reader’s choice to read the book.

consent warnings–this includes

consensual (not actually denoted as a warning–simply here for reference) all parties are capable of making conscious decisions and are in agreement to the sexual contact

’dub-con’ (dubious consent–a kind of situation where the consent is questionable, can be true in the story for many different reasons including plot device (think of two people who must engage in activity against their will but agree because it will be mutually beneficial), because their judgement is impaired by drugs or alcohol, or even because they are not mentally capable of making a consensual decision.

Despite this having a kind of overlap with rape for the sake of clarity–it is almost always labeled as two different warnings.

non-con/rape–no consent, sexual content exists in the story that is unwanted and/or forced, does not always end in rape which is why the rape tag exists as an additional warning

I thought if you’re new to reading fanfic I would also put together a list for you of some common words, tags, and labels you will see!

Types

(basic insight into a story’s tone, a single story can be more than one type, please know this is not an exhaustive list!)

angst–basically a way to say the author is going to use the characters in the story to rip your heart out, stomp all over it, and attempt to destroy your spirit with fiction. Like the author wants to torture you with their words by destroying all the good and happy things in the universe. (sometimes angst stories will offer a bit of comfort before the end of the story, but if the amount of 'fixing’ is extreme this would be better labeled as hurt/comfort instead)

a/u–alternate universe: any plot, setting, or personality in the story that goes against the known canon for an established work.

Example: Harry Potter being a normal guy who runs a business selling magic supplies.

It is generally understood that this is pretty much ANY 'real person’ fic all the time, so most authors of that kind of fic do not mark it a/u unless it is something like the Idol/singer/actor/figure is no longer an Idol but a businessman or bartender, or works at a cafe, or something like that.

crack–a story that is so completely outrageous, unbelievable, and utterly insane that you couldn’t take it seriously if you wanted to. Generally, these are written to be fun, with no other motive, and should not be taken seriously–though, admittedly, I’ve read some crack fic that I find I could actually label a/u–so I don’t tend to speak in absolutes.

The authors of these fics are shameless (believe me I’ve written a few!) and meant to be addictive to their audience. (the 'crackfic’ idea is that the only way the author could have produced such a monstrosity is to be high on crack)

crossover–when a story has content of any sort from more than a single fandom. This would be like a story about Percy Jackson attending Hogwart’s.

dark–the fic contains elements that are morally sketchy or evil, often these kinds of stories have disturbing content (and shouldn’t be confused with 'angst’)

rpf/rps–real person fiction/slash, stories that feature a real life person, celebrity, historical figure, etc. This kind of fic is controversial, though I can admit I’m cloudy on why.

Right now on Broadway we have the smash hit 'Hamilton’ which is technically a (*gasp*) 'rpf’ and no one who is a fan of HISTORY is losing their crap over it. Just saying. I’m pretty put out by the way 'rpf’ is treated across multiple fandoms to be honest, and I think people should just click away if they don’t want to read it instead of being all butthurt over it.

fluff/fluffy–a story that does not contain angst, often comforting and uplifting to read. Really, generally, they are full of happy, joy-filled, blissfully sweet scenes that are meant to be read with a smile. (can be combined with other attributes to better define it: fluffyromance, fluffysmut, fluffydomestic, etc)

genderbend/swap–a character is changed from canon sex to another. Can be portrayed multiple ways, whether meant to be shocking if done through magic or something like that but often it is just where the author has taken the character’s gender that is canon and written it so that they have always been another gender.

hurt/comfort–so this one isn’t always labeled, but it is meant to denote a story that may contain angst and suffering, but that it will ALSO contain equal amounts of support, love, and comfort.

self-insert/reader-insert–relatively new to the fanfiction scene, and more popular in certain fandoms over others, these fics are written to allow the reader to imagine themselves in the story.

A lot of authors will refuse to add any details at all to the insert character, though I’ll admit, I often add details because it feels too flat without them–and to be honest, I am probably not doing it the commonly accepted way lol

smut/porn/lemon/lime–story contains graphic depiction of sexual contact

And finally, a few terms that will help you navigate the fanfiction world:

headcanon–an author’s personally applied thoughts and characterizations to the established canon. Often this is meant to denote that while the idea isn’t known within the canon–there is little to no reason why it couldn’t be true. There’s no such thing as a wrong headcanon–as they are specific to each fan within a fandom–so if someone is blasting about it being wrong you can tell them to simmer down, because it’s JUST a PERSONAL interpretation.

OC–original character created by the author that plays a primary role in the story

OOC–out of character, personality of a canon established character falls outside of the accepted norm. This has different levels of acceptance to be honest, and it varied widely from fandom to fandom.

one-shot–a single story that reads as a stand alone. Generally, but not always, they are not continued as a chaptered fic is, though they can be created within a collection that features the same world established in the first one-shot. These are not related to other stories by the author–if they are then they are generally considered 'outtakes’ instead.

canon–in agreement with original source, understood dynamics and facts of the content according to the original book, movie, show, manga, anime, etc.

prompt–a story idea that is given to help an author write a story

drabble–okay, so this is really open to debate right? Because even fanfic authors can’t figure out what the crap a drabble is most of the time. It was ORIGINALLY a story that is exactly 100 words in length.

Most author’s basically say 'screw that’ (I do, sorry, not sorry) and use the word to describe any small headcanon, musing, or tiny fic that isn’t big enough to be labeled a 'one-shot’.

There is another word that is sometimes used for works that go over 500 words which is ’ficlet’ but I honestly don’t see this used often, despite being acceptable.

I find, personally, the difference in a 'one-shot’ and a 'drabble’ to be whether there is exposition and resolution to the content.

Whew, that was a lot of info and you read this far, then thank you! I’m sure I have overlooked some terms and ideas here, as no single list can be completely exhaustive of something as broad at fanfiction, so if you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to let me know!

#fanfiction #writing #fanfiction guide #reading fanfiction #writer #author #helpful writing #writing help #resources #resources for writers #some goodies I love #fanfiction writing

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emilyplaysotome · 7 years ago

Text

Dating Diaries - Chapter 6 - Boomerang

Inspired by real events, Emi enters the dating world after her long term relationship ends. Determined to move forward, she starts dating and quickly finds herself in over her head.

In case you missed it, here are the previous chapters:

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5

On Wednesday, three days after my awkward encounter with Makoto and my Dear Kazu letter, I received a TalkTime message seemingly out of the blue.

“Hey hey. How’s your week going?”

I must have stared at the message and its sender for a good five minutes before I fully processed that perhaps things were not as “done” with Makoto as I’d thought. I felt confused to say the least considering where we’d left things and the fact he’d gone from texting me everyday to radio silence after his typo ridden message.

Below the texts from Mako were two from Kazumi (who had yet to reply to my email as promised). Seeing as how he hadn’t said anything of substance, I’d stayed strong and left his messages “read” but unanswered.

To be honest, it was difficult not having that person to interact with everyday who acted as a boyfriend proxy of sorts, but I knew it was for the best.

Sitting in that silence as a single person had proven to be difficult. I missed the attention and the accessibility to a friend that being in a relationship provided, but I did my best to start thinking about a night alone as an opportunity to do something fun or get something accomplished that would make me feel better.

The first night I’d cleaned out my closet which was a not-so-sexy task on my to-do list that had been there for months. The second night I’d rented a few girly movies I’d missed in the theaters and got really yummy takeout. The third night I finally finished the novel I was reading on and off for the past month.

I began to notice that as time went on, sitting with silence began to get easier, and even though it hadn’t been that long upon seeing that text I suddenly felt shaken out of my newly “single and free” headspace and thrust back into utter confusion.

Mentally determining that both of these relationships were over had caused me to shift gears and accept my “singleness” in a way that I hadn’t been able to do before. I was not only prepared for nights of total solitude, but more importantly had actually planned a week for myself around it with that as a theme of sorts. I’d planned to play some otome games, reconnect with a few friends, and really give my apartment a good scrub down.

I also realized that until I was really single and free, I wouldn’t be able to properly heal and learn what it meant to be selfish for me.

Makoto’s text hung in limbo for a bit, until I determined that I wasn’t ready to fully close the door on him (or at least wanted closure if he was going to send a “breakup” text). I waited until I was finished with work, and sitting on the subway with nothing better to do on my commute home I drafted a few responses until I finally replied with, “Hey - it’s good. Busy! How have you been?”

I sat there, the signal on my phone going in and out as the train hurtled between stations, holding my breath as I waited for what I assumed would be an obligatory, “Sorry I’ve been out of touch...after doing some thinking I don’t think we’re right together” type of follow up.

Fifteen minutes later, three stations away from my stop, the phone chimed.

Same :) when do i get to see you again?

I was so stunned, that despite being in public my inner phono-semantic monologue of “Uooh-eh?” tumbled from lips louder than I would have liked on such a crowded train. The woman sitting next to me glanced over at my phone, then me, and shot me a knowing and sympathetic look which indicated she’d experienced hew own fair share of confusion at the hands of the men she was dating.

Taking the lessons I’d learned during my three days of being completely “single” I did not want to prioritize Makoto above myself, or plans I’d already made with friends. My singlesness had inspired me to schedule things up until Sunday night, so I figured I’d offer up that free block time and see what happened.

Hmmm...maybe Sunday? This week is kind of jam packed with friends and work.

My friend Ayoto is having a small holiday party that night. You could come if you’d like? Or if you’re free Friday, someone I know is having a show at a gallery of his photos and it should be casual and fun. I thought we could swing by.

What time Friday? I’m supposed to meet my friend for dinner and to be honest I’d feel a little weird crashing your friend’s intimate holiday party.

It’s 7 - 11 on Friday.

Yuri and I had made plans to meet around 6:30 for dinner that day.

I figured that usually took 2 hours at most, which meant I could head over after and meet Makoto. Not wanting to be rude, I sent Yuri a text and asked her if that could work and if she might want to join me at the gallery, seeing as how it seemed like an open event.

If I was going to meet some acquaintances of Mako’s who would no doubt size me up, I figured I might as well see if she’d be interested in scoping him out for me.

Naturally Yuri agreed, and as my train pulled into my station I toggled back to reply to Makoto.

That can work so long as we meet around 8:30 when Yuri and I are done with dinner.

Cool...Yuri. You’re not planning to bring a handsome Russian man to this are you?

LOL no, Yuri is a pretty Japanese lady but I can see if she wants to join me. Is that ok?

Haha. Yeah. I’m just glad you’re not having dinner with another guy before our date.

My eyebrow twitched with irritation as I entered my apartment.

There it was again.

The insecurity and jealousy from Makoto that had caused him to be weird in the first place. I took a screen shot of the message and sent it to Yuri, letting her know that I wanted her to join me because I needed her assessment of him ASAP.

And with my Friday plans in place, I put my phone away and enjoyed another night of being fully single.

I continued to ignore Kazumi until Thursday evening when he sent me the saddest text I’ve ever gotten from a grown man.

I was in the middle of painting my nails and watching Terrace House when his message came in.

Sunshine...I feel awful that you’re avoiding me...and that you’ve stopped liking me :(

I knew Kazumi well enough to know that he was genuinely affected by my silence. I also knew him well enough to know that he was dodging everything I’d brought up in my email.

It’s a funny thing how men are sometimes selective about when they’re “good” at communication. In the past, I’ve wanted more from Kazu but accepted what he was capable of.

Yet, now that I held some power he was suddenly around and ready to engage with me in a way he’d previously claimed to be incapable. This fact was not lost on me, though it annoyed me greatly. With that said, I still liked him but I had to wonder if I was beginning to like him a little less these days.

I haven’t stopped liking you. But I gave you my thoughts in an email and you haven’t said anything I can respond to.

I know...I’ve read your email so many times but I just don’t know how to reply to something so beautiful and sad.

Sunshine...please don’t stop liking me.

Kazu...I like you so much but I don’t want to compromise my heart or allow myself to be hurt. I had to be honest with where I’m at. You don’t have to reply. As time goes on, I just know this is going to be harder and so I’d prefer to say goodbye now and have these nice memories.

Sunshine, no - that’s too sad. Please. I like you so much and this whole week I’ve felt awful, deep in my heart. I feel sick at the thought of losing you.

It makes me happy that my feelings are not one-sided, but I just...I struggle with you because I really think I need to be on my own but at the same time I want to be with you.

And I start to get attached and feel weird and jealous and I don’t like that. It’s hard to focus. I just think it would be easier to walk away now.

Emi...logically you’re right but why not just give this some time? Can’t we just keep talking, seeing each other, and see how we feel?

I have not felt this way about anyone since the girl I told you about. The one that really broke my heart. I haven’t felt this kind of “like” in many, many, many years. I will do whatever I can to make you understand that.

You say that you are not ready for a relationship and to be honest, I am not ready for one either. I am willing to think about what you said and potentially start one with you but I don’t think that’s what you want?

No. It’s not. I’m not ready.

So what do you want?

I don’t know.

When you do know, tell me and we can figure it out. But please, don’t run away.

You are very special and lovely and I like being with you. Losing you these past few days was incredibly painful which was a sign for me. You fill something in me, and I want to have you in my life as long as you’ll have me.

Thanks for this Kazu. I have to go though. I’ll think about what you said, and what I want.

Ok Sunshine. I’ve gotta try and meet Kotoko’s deadline for some pages. She’s been killin’ me lately - between the tour and the new book schedule I’ve been so stressed. You running away was almost the final nail in my coffin!

Haha you’re so dramatic. Good luck with your work. I’ll always root for you no matter what happens with us.

I wish I could kiss you.

hahaha Kazu why are you always shirtless when you send me selfies???

Because I always work in my underwear.

You’re such a weirdo lol good luck with your writing

Send me a picture when you can. I miss your beautiful face. I miss you.

I couldn’t help but smile.

Kazumi knew exactly the right combination of weird, sweet, charming, and fun that could make my heart flutter a little. Hearing how much he liked me and that he wasn’t prepared to give up after I pushed him away made me want to keep him in my life for a bit longer.

Yes, he had disappointed me to a degree but no one was perfect and to his defense, I really didn’t know what I wanted from him.

It would have been simple if all I wanted was for him to be my boyfriend but in the time we spent apart, I’d started to think about what that would look like exactly. We wouldn’t be in the same city, and even if we were one day, he would constantly be on the road for his work.

While was charming and fun, he also was incredibly damaged emotionally from his past - both losing his parents at an early age and having a bad relationship that scarred him deeply. He had a hard time staying still which is why his nomadic life suited him to a degree, and in many ways talk of the future stressed him out.

It struck me as ironic that all the things that made him so irresistible to me also made him terrible as a boyfriend. His spontaneity made him great in the moment, but terrible long term. His trauma made him fascinating but also incredibly difficult to handle emotionally.

At the end of the day, the more I’d thought about it, the more I’d determined that Kazumi Kagami as amazing as he was could never be the kind of boyfriend or husband I wanted...

...but I didn’t want to say goodbye either, which is why this was so hard.

As I wrestled with what I should or should not do, I heard that voice telling me it was ok to be selfish, and so I did nothing.

I turned my phone off and I went back to painting my nails and watching Terrace House.

On Friday, Yuri met me at our go-to dinner spot and after going a little crazy with our order of beers, fried chicken, and ramen all talk quickly turned to my love life.

Yuri knew how stressed out I’d been throughout the week, juggling Kazumi and Makoto, then catching the feels for Kazumi before finally deciding to let him go. Being the good friend she was, she’d indulged me more than she needed to and I was grateful that she seemed excited about the notion of getting to meet one of the contestants in my faux reality show - Emi’s Next Top Boyfriend.

“I’m not going to lie,” she said after slurping down a bunch of noodles, “I’m pretty excited to size this Mako character up.”

“Good because I need help. I thought this was over and then all of a sudden he’s back and I just have no idea of where he’s at or what he’s thinking.”

“Do you know if his friends are going to be there?”

“I don’t and to be honest, I didn’t really think we were there...the whole...meeting the friends.”

“I guess you’ll find out when we get there.”

“Yeah, and I know you just thrive at these kinds of things.”

Yuri flashed me a confident smile before snagging a piece of fried chicken.

“I thrive at any event with free wine.”

Even though she was just joking, Yuri had a knack for these types of social situations. She was one of those people who had the ability to roll into a party where she didn’t know anyone and had no reservations mingling until she’d made a few new friends.

Whereas this kind of event stressed me out, I knew that I would be able to not only hang out with her and Makoto, but that I could leave her and go off with him and not have to worry about how she was doing. Seeing as how Yuri was such a delight at these events, I had no doubt that her presence would only make me look better to Makoto.

Tonight he would see that not only am I a total catch, but that the people I consider friends are cool, pretty, sociable, smart, and fun. On top of that I felt incredibly relieved to finally enter into one of these situations with a friend. In so many ways dating was uncharted territory and I was excited to finally have a wing-woman who could offer a second opinion.

My phone let out a chime, and Kazumi’s name flashed on the screen.

“Oh no...I thought that was over?”

“Not exactly...”

“How did he worm his way back into your good graces this time?”

I let out a sigh.

I knew that Yuri was not a fan of Kazumi’s. It made sense, considering the story I told her which was not entirely fair to him. It also made sense based on the fact that he was a difficult man, and as my friend she wanted to shield me from the “fucboi bullshit” he brought into my life from time to time.

With that said, there was nuance to our relationship which wasn’t easily explained over text. I figured that seeing as how I wasn’t quite ready to let Kazumi go, I might as well give Yuri the full story.

“It’s a little more complicated than I’ve been making it I guess,” I said, as I struggled to explain the fact that I didn’t fully understand what I wanted from him.

I filled her in on the fact that while I had started to really fall for Kazumi, I knew that he was not boyfriend material. After Shizuo, I didn’t want to waste my time trying to make the wrong man right, but it was hard when I had such strong feelings for someone I knew I had the potential to love in a way that I might not be able to love Makoto.

As I broke down all my problems with him, Yuri softened a bit as she understood that Kazu was not simply some Casanova who was manipulating my emotions but that I was aware of what was happening and confused as to how I wanted him in my life.

“Damn girl,” she finally said. “I mean...I still don’t care for the things he pulls with you, but I’m glad to hear that there’s been more to this.”

“Yeah.”

“So what have you decided to do?”

“Be selfish...and do nothing for now.”

“Mmm.”

A comfortable silence passed between us, the table littered with the remnants of our dinner. Our waitress returned with our check, and after throwing down some money Yuri lit up and nudged me playfully.

“Well...time to scope this guy out! Shall we?”

The gallery was pretty crowded, and we pushed our way through the crowd as I looked for Makoto. Seeing as how he was tall I figured I’d be able to spot him fairly easily and sure enough I saw him towards the back with a group of people.

“Yuri - that’s him. Over there...”

“The blonde guy?”

“Girl no...you know I don’t like blondes. The tall one. With the plaid shirt...who just saw me and...hi.”

I responded to Makoto’s awkward wave with one of my own and approached him with Yuri in tow. “Hey! How’s it going?” he asked all smiles.

Truthfully, he looked cuter than I’d remembered him being. He was wearing a nicer shirt for the occasion, and he reached out to give me one of those familiar side-hug things that people do. “Hi,” I said, suddenly feeling a bit self conscious as I looked over at the circle of friends Makoto had stepped out of to greet us. They were also tall and handsome for the most part, and I recognized two of them as Ayato Hidaka (the actor) and Takamune Kitame (the soccer star). “You must be Yuri - I’m Makoto,” he said effortlessly, still wearing that same warm smile of his. “Nice to meet you!” Yuri exclaimed, giving him no indication that the sizing up process had begun. “Sorry, sorry. I’m bad with introductions,” I said feigning bashfulness. Makoto and Yuri exchanged a few pleasantries, and after a few additional introductions where Yuri and I met his friends, he encouraged us to go get a glass of complimentary wine from the open bar.

Yuri waited until we were finally out of earshot on our way to the bar before giving me her first impression of Makoto.

“He seems very nice, and I get the vibe he likes you quite a bit.”

“You think? He’s always changing the pictures on the app though...”

“Yeah but like, that doesn’t mean much. I mean...look at him. He keeps glancing over and smiling at you.”

“I don’t know...”

“Well, I will continue to observe but that’s what my gut is saying at the moment.”

“He’s cute right? I forgot how cute he was...”

Yuri laughed at me in a way that only a good friend can. It was a laugh that told me I never change, and a laugh that made it obvious she was rooting for my happiness.

I drank too much free wine that night.

The good news was that I felt as if I was being my usual, charming self and did not come off as a drunken mess to his friends. If anything, Makoto was the one who seemed a bit sloppy and nervous as he actually spilled a bunch of his wine while chatting with me and Yuri.

I teased him about being a disruptive drunk and he abashedly got a refill, returning to the circle of his friends instead of where Yuri and I were standing until his embarrassment waned.

It was a funny thing, seeing him again after having convinced myself that we were totally over. To be honest, the more wine I drank the more I wanted to touch him - covertly taking his hand in mine or grabbing onto his sleeve when we went to get a drink together (and left Yuri behind with his friends).

I came to learn that his brother was the photographer behind the opening, but thanksfully didn’t have the pressure of meeting the family so soon as Riku spent most of the night speaking to agents and potential clients.

Overall, the night was pleasant and before I knew it Yuri was giving me her final assessment as Makoto made the rounds and said goodbye while we got our coats (and his) from coat check.

“He definitely likes you a lot.”

“But...”

“You’re on the apps too...I don’t know. Based on what I saw he seems pretty smitten.”

I paused, slightly concerned that if I believed Yuri I might get my hopes up prematurely.

“He’s cute right?”

“Yes...you said that already,” she said with a chuckle, “but I think he might be a little boring for you. I know I’d probably get bored with him.”

I knew Yuri well enough to know what she was saying, even though her comment at face value seemed harsh.

She and I were cut from the same cloth to a degree when it came to the men we liked, and even though our steady boyfriends tended to be nice guys who were head over heels for us, realistically we gravitated towards men who were far more complicated and interesting.

It was precisely why I liked Kazumi more despite all his messiness - he was many things, but he was never boring.

Everything I’d been holding myself back from doing came forth the second we were in the cab, and after giving the driver my address I essentially threw myself at Makoto. It had been some time as a grown woman that I’d made out in the backseat of a cab but I couldn’t stop myself from doing so. Kissing Makoto was fine, but it just didn’t have the same kind of fire I had with Kazumi. I found myself getting a bit frustrated, teasing him almost as if to challenge him to step it up a bit and ultimately found myself interrupted by the cab driver who politely let me know that we had arrived.

Back in my apartment the momentum died down a bit, and I found myself talking to Makoto about what he’d been up to as well as the fact that he’d really liked Yuri. He suggested setting her up with his friend Taka (who we’d met), and the four of us having a double date to which I found myself nowhere near ready for that.

I didn’t know how he felt about me and worse, I didn’t know how I was feeling about him. On paper everything was so perfect but I still just felt that there was something missing in our sexual chemistry.

Nevertheless, that didn’t stop me from going to bed with him (in the name of science) and after what I would describe as a 7/10 experience found myself lying on his chest as we continued our conversation before I’d attempted to derail my merging of worlds prematurely via seduction.

"I’m really glad I got to see you again,” he said softly as he stroked my hair. “It felt like a long time...”

“I know, but it was really only 5 days.”

“Such a long time,” he joked.

“I mean, it is considering before that I think 3 days was the longest.”

“I haven’t gone on any other dates.”

“That’s not my business Makoto. I already told you, you can if you want.”

“I know, but I’m so busy lately and then when I have free time I was hoping to see you.”

“Ugh. I always forget how cute you are.”

“That’s not fair. I don’t forget how pretty you are...”

I could feel how soft and loving my gaze was on him in that moment, and he smiled before he pulled me towards him. In that moment his kiss was soft and loving, and when I pulled back he asked, “Wednesday?”

“Hmmm?”

“Can I see you on Wednesday? Five days was too long.”

“Ok. Wednesday.”

He kissed me again and then got dressed. I probably should have offered my bed overnight, but I just wasn’t there with him for some reason. I knew if he stayed I’d get no sleep and so we did what we’d done before, except this time I had no doubt that I’d see him again.

In my skimpy pajamas I walked a fully dressed Makoto to my front door where he playfully grabbed my butt and kissed me a few more times before leaving.

As I closed the door, I thought about the fact that I was lucky.

Even if Makoto wasn’t “the one”, I was still lucky that this was the kind of person I’d met. For years my single friends told me what dating was like on these apps. Their experiences in many ways influenced my own expectations insofar as what I assumed this would be.

I had assumed with both Kazumi and Makoto that they would ghost after two or three dates (or perhaps after sleeping with me). I constantly assumed that these fragile, new relationships were teetering on the edge of being over. I waited for the texts that my friends showed me - the ones in which the man takes the high road and expresses the fact that while he had fun, he doesn’t see a future together.

With Kazumi I had assumed my letter would be the end of it. I had assumed that he would express that my role in his life was nothing more than a fling versus anything to fight for (be it friendship or more). This week I had learned that for Kazumi I was more than just a fling. He might not care about me enough to put in the work to dig through his feelings and answer my email, but he cared enough to do what he was capable of in this moment in time.

He cared enough to fight a little bit...and seeing as how I didn’t know what the hell I wanted, I was at least happy to know that the strong feelings I had towards him were not completely one sided.

And then there was Makoto.

I’ll never understand what happened that night that caused him to pull back and change his pictures, but being with him in person confirmed that he was the cinnamon roll I remembered. Yuri’s read on him meant something to me, because when I was with him I felt that he really liked me.

Now that we had plans for Wednesday, it felt like it did when we first met. It felt like he wanted to keep our momentum going and not let me go.

I was very lucky.

I felt very loved...or at least, very liked.

As I got ready for bed, I thought about what it meant to be selfish right now. Perhaps it meant continuing to see a man who I wasn’t sold on in addition to one who wasn’t right.

Maybe it was just about letting these things play out, and realizing that I had a say in the matter.

I didn’t have to wait around and wonder if they’d ghost or not. I got to say what I wanted, how I wanted it, and create my own rules for myself out of that.

My eyelids grew heavy, and I decided that tomorrow first thing I would wake up and spend my Saturday morning coming up with my own Terms & Conditions for dating.

Because at least then, I’d have a roadmap and it would be completely my own.

Continue to Chapter 7

I hope you guys are enjoying this story as much as my purely fictional works and that you’ll comment and share with thoughts.

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@frywen-babbles

@bolt8826

@lxvescramble

@ticoerica

@huntressofsheep

@rapmotaku

@taecifer

@wickedtiff

@sleepdeprivedlunatics

@venuslively

@aeirwen

@itshaejinju

@lostfish-03

@sapphirerosero

@galaxyinqkxy

@maolvirahdani

@juliettebbgamer

@itshouldcometothis

Thanks for reading and let me know if you’re not tagged and would like to be!

#my last first kiss fanfic #my last first kiss #makoto morimachi #liar! uncover the truth fanfic #voltage fanfic #Voltage fan fiction #voltage fan #voltage fandom #Kazumi Kagami #liar! uncover the truth

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toonstarterz · 8 years ago

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BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #115

As another arc finishes, another arc begins. You’d think that the mangaka would give us a breather chapter after Tomoko’s gag-filled Valentine’s Day, but instead, we’re jumping right into the 2nd graduation ceremony. It’s a surprising move, but I’m all for it. While this isn’t exactly packed with laugh-out-loud moments, it compensates by giving us the introspective, if not melancholic, review we’ve been set up for.

Chapter 115: Because I'm Not Popular, I'll Attend My 2nd Graduation Ceremony (Part 1)

At first, I thought that this was another case of Tomoko being overwhelmed by too much social stimuli, but at it turns out...

Best girl appears.

...it’s just allergies. The first time I read this, I thought it was a little contrived for Tomoko to be shown with allergy problems this late in the game. But as per Nico Tanigawa’s style, this is just a gateway to point out more significant elements in the manga. I’ll get to that in a bit.

I like when they bring up seemingly minor events in continuity without it looking too forced. I also can’t help but wonder if this is the way the mangaka is trying to have Yuri become the successor to Imae as Tomoko’s “guardian angel”. Honestly, I think that would be the best. I like Imae, but I feel that her overly nice personality wouldn’t have been doing much for Tomoko’s personal growth. With Yuri, her pleasant but more fair judgment has helped Tomoko come to terms with her own flaws. Ultimately, Tomoko benefits more from having a friend who will respond to her shortcomings, but still accept her regardless.

This gets elaborated later on, but I appreciate that Tomoko’s anxiety has greatly diminished when she has to interact with strangers.

At least, when it’s not a hot guy. Redundant “guy from the sports meet” is redundant.

This guy is such an over-the-top, smooth-talking bishounen that I can’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. And to answer your question Tomoko, it’s because we live in a society where being a loner is viewed as a “weakness” that needs to be overcome.

It doesn’t.

Watamote usually has two kinds of jokes. There are the self-destructive jokes in which Tomoko’s troubles are caused by her own ignorance. And there are the tragic jokes in which the world throws Tomoko a minor misfortunate that Tomoko overreacts to. This is both.

Okay, what the hell is going on with Ucchi’s face?

There’re multiple levels of hilarity to be found with all these seemingly random cameos of Ucchi. And it all boils down to context. If we didn’t know Ucchi, you’d think she was just a random background character. But we do know Ucchi, and her being recognized in the background by her background-like face, which actually results in her not being a background character is the first level of hilarity. The second level is in the hands of us, the readers. We know how Ucchi is, and how she feels about Tomoko, so just her mere presence is funny when we can imagine her thoughts to the scene happening before her eyes.

Ucchi doesn’t really have to do anything. She just has to be there at the right place at the right time.

I get the feeling that this is the mangaka relaying their own thoughts on the direction of the series through Tomoko. They probably didn’t expect Tomoko to grow as much as she did (little it may be), even if it makes the most sense story-wise. But now that she has, where do they go from here? It may have been easier to have Tomoko go through a bunch of hilarious, cringe-worthy jokes with no development, but at the same time, Nico Tanigawa knew the novelty couldn’t last forever. It’s something that many writers face when working on something that doesn’t have a definitive ending in mind.

How far can you push a developing character without just going through the motions?

From the looks of things, Yoshida seems to have cooled off from her Valentine’s Day embarrassment via Tomoko. Granted, some time has probably passed since then, and thankfully for Tomoko, Yoshida doesn’t seem like the type to hold a long-standing grudge. Sure, she’s temperamental, but her emotional highs seem to come and go.

Thankfully, Tomoko’s growth is still in its early stages, so I’m confident that the mangaka won’t run dry on ideas.

From left to right, top to bottom: Best Girl, Not-Ucchi, Closet Otaku, Okada without the Pineapple, Makeup-chan, and MC.

This is what I meant when I said Tomoko’s out-of-the-blue allergies are a segue to something more significant.

Let’s do a little compare and contrast. When Makeup-chan offers a handkerchief, Tomoko’s reaction is noticeably restrained. She’s surprised, for sure, but is otherwise collected. I’d like to think that this reaction is due to Tomoko being used to Katou paying attention to her in this way.

Then there’s Nemoto. After having her eyes opened to her “true colors”, Tomoko’s impression of Nemoto is now strained. But here, with the girl showing Tomoko kindness, it throws the latter through a loop. After having been used to Nemoto’s passive aggressiveness, suddenly being treated the opposite sparks conflicting emotions.

It’s also the fact that Tomoko still isn’t used to people being so considerate of her, especially by two people in the same moment. Though she’s grown more in terms of social interaction, she still isn’t accustomed to having all this positive attention on her.

Thus ends another over-analysis on yet another minuscule detail by Toonyoungster.

Okay, I’m certain that Nico Tanigawa are toying with us right now. At this point, they probably already know that people ship Tomoko and Ucchi, and so they’re making Ucchi’s obsession even more blatant then it already is because they know we’ll eat it up. But the thing is, I don’t really see this as pandering. It would be if the couple of the ship were forced into a “romantic” moment by an external force (i.e. accidental groping by a harem protagonist). But Ucchi’s history of distant affection tells us that this is something she would actually do, which makes it all the more believable.

Remember how I said Ucchi doesn’t really have to do anything to be funny. Here, the mangaka takes it up a notch by not even having her in the panel. and it’s still funny. A+

Now we’re getting into the really deep shit. I’ll admit, I was pretty surprised when Tomoko’s optimism took a one-eighty like that. At the very least, it’s nice to see her finally acknowledge her own growth like this. But looking at it from Tomoko’s perspective, I can see why she might think negatively about her future.

I remember late in the series when we started getting all these heartwarming chapters, there where people commenting how “this is the calm before the storm”. That’s where Tomoko is right now. She’s gotten used to her life being stagnant, painful as it was, in her first year, that when things started going uphill, it felt like she could come tumbling down any minute. We’ve seen evidence that while she appreciates her new acquaintances, having to maintain a social life now tires her out. People like Tomoko can develop, but long strides in growth become less likely as time goes on. In a way, she’s hit a plateau, her “peak in high school” if you will, and all that’s left is to either inch on forward, or throw herself at the mercy of whatever high school has left to offer her.

As far as I can tell, Imae is a symbol for everything Tomoko has managed to accomplish, little that may be. She was the ray of hope in Tomoko’s (and the reader’s) eyes that told us that things may actually turn out okay one day. Now that that day has come, Imae’s job is done. Time for baby bird Tomoko to leave the nest.

I’d write more about Imae’s character, but I figured I’d save that for the following chapter, where’s she’ll most likely be more present.

Funny thing is, this chapter could easily be a standalone chapter, so the fact that we’re getting at least one other part leaves me curious for more. Will we be saying good-bye to Imae for good? We’ll just have to wait and see.

...

So because I’m a piece of trash with no shame, I’d like to take this moment to invite you all to see my new webcomic series, Overthinking It.

It’s a pretty simple premise, really. Just a series of 4-panel gags involving a loose caricature of myself. It’s certainly no Watamote, but I sure would appreciate it if you all could give it a look. Maybe you’ll get a laugh or two. You can find it at the following links:

https://overthinkingitcomics.tumblr.com/

https://tapas.io/series/Overthinking-It

#watamote #watamote review #no matter how i look at it it's you guys' fault i'm not popular!#chapter 115 #tomoko kuroki #yuri tamura #yoshida #that guy from the sports meet #imae emi #ucchi #katou #nemoto #ogino #review

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manekicho28 · 8 years ago

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Being ME in Japan?

So, let me tell you a little story about how I became interested in Japan.

Namely, it was because of this anime called Azumanda Daioh. This anime is my childhood. I’ve watched it so many times, there was a point in my life when I could tell you exactly which episode a particular joke was made.

I watched it on Youtube for lack of a better source. When I was able to, I bought the entire series on a box set. Unfortunately, watching it on the box set, I noticed something was missing: the cultural explanations.

When I watched it on Youtube, someone had taken the time to write in little cultural explanations of some of the jokes or circumstances. That’s how I came to learn about Sports Festivals, Culture Festivals, different foods, regions, Kanji, holidays, etc. that are often made reference to. Gone are the days of these cultural explanations. Thanks to the internet and a much larger fan base, most people become familiar with these recurring happenstances without being able to pinpoint a time that they learned about them. I can pinpoint mine, and it was this anime.

It’s just a slice of life anime about some very quirky and lovable high-school girls (and teachers). I argue that this anime was responsible for a huge change in anime, but let’s not get into that. If you haven’t watched it, I highly recommend it.

Anyway,

I became interested in Japan because I wanted to make a group of friends like these girls had

I projected myself onto one character in particular- Tomo Takino:

Tomo was a lot like me- hyper, class-clown, uninterested in school yet very determined, very attached to her best friend, the straight-man character, Yomi. I saw myself in that character and the love her friends had for her despite her insanity. I wanted to have a tight-knit group of friends like that. Unfortunately for me, I adopted this persona right before junior high school, where girls are notoriously vicious and friendship is dependent on how well you are able to be what other people want you to be. I’m such a rainbow of a person, I couldn’t do that. Tomo wouldn’t have done it either.

Anyway,

I became comfortable being the “Tomo” character in a group.

It’s who I was naturally, and to be able to put that name on it gave me confidence in myself.

Flash forward to today, and I still strongly identify with those kinds of characters. Recently I’ve been watching Yuru Yuri, and those of you who have watched it can probably see where I’m going with this.

Meet Toshino Kyoko:

Here is a character with perhaps the most deceptive of character designs.

She is similar to Tomo: hyper, spontaneous, hilarious, determined, and very committed to her friends. Add in that she’s surprisingly talented and chose to be a Tomato at a kigu-sleepover:

Hmm... Tomo.... Tomato.... coincidence?

Anyway, she’s ridiculous and I love her. More importantly, so do her friends:

There is an episode in the first season where she bumps her head and becomes “normal.”

At first, her friends think it’s great, but eventually club her over the head to get their crazy and lovable tomato-girl back.

This is only the second character I’ve seen that has had the same level of intensity and the same kind of carefree and fun-loving personality that I so identify with. It was already really heartwarming to have another such character in a recent anime, which makes me think that either Kyoko was birthed from a similar love of Tomo, or this personality exists in Japan.

The fact that in an episode, her friends come to miss her for exactly who she was.... it was nice. As much sarcasm and jokes and belittling that is brought out by this kind of bright personality, it was nice to think that it can also warrant so much love.

There’s another anime that pays some love to this hyper/happy personality type that deserves a mention:

This is Hikari from Interviews with Monster Girls. She’s another delightfully ridiculous character-type. She blew up the internet when she poked the boobs of her headless friend while her body was at her house.

This about summarizes her personality, but I feel like I should add that despite her antics, she cares greatly for her friends.

So here’s another happy/hyper personality appearing in anime and being represented as lovable and accepted despite being so totally different from what might be considered “normal” in Japan or otherwise.

Anime is not real life, obviously, but it it so crazy to think that these personalities can be accepted and loved in Japan?

Having lived in America, I know how Americans treat this kind of personality.

As a joke, as a moron, as a pain-in-the-butt, but that comes with the territory- I love to make people laugh by playing dumb and being silly.

But also, I was often a target for rudeness. I always tried to be positive and uplifting, but I guess that annoyed people. I wanted to enjoy life and bring everyone with me, but it didn’t always work out how I hoped:

“Why are you always so annoying?” ”You smile too much.” “What kind of drugs are you on?”

“You’re only good in small doses.”

“Can’t you just chill?” “Don’t you ever shut up?” “Calm down, crackbaby,”

“You’ve got the kind of personality that makes me want to punch you in the face.”

“Psycho.” “You need to be medicated.” “I’m not in the mood for you right now.”

Charming, right?

Anyway, let me bring this to the present again.

I’m getting ready to go to Japan, armed with this delightful personality of mine, and I’m scared. There are only three characters in all of anime that reflect who I am, and only one of them was ever given any credit for being awesome. Everything that character is goes against everything that is Japanese. I don’t want people to think that all Americans are like that because I know first hand that they’re not. I also don’t want to have to contain who I am.

This kind of worry can apply to anywhere, really. Will people think I’m annoying? Will people like me? Maybe it’s the same for everyone when they’re going to some new place.

Anyway, I wonder. If characters like Tomo, Hikari, and Kyoko exist in art, is it possible for such personalities to exist, thrive, and be taken seriously enough in Japan? Will I be able to find my straight-man character who allows me to truly be myself?

I guess we’ll find out. Thanks for reading

#azumanga daioh #anime #animegirl #interviews with monster girls #yuru yuri #hikari #kyoko #toshino kyoko #tomo takino #takino tomo #anime personality #japan #japanese #travel #travel to japan #teach abroad #tomato girl

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dadvans · 8 years ago

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TOP FIVE THINGS MASTERPOST (2/3)

Christophe Giacometti’s boyfriend proposes to him in the kiss and cry. Yuuri is about to go on, is looking up at the big screen saying, “how embarrassing! I would hate someone making such a public spectacle of a private moment.” Victor spends Yuuri’s entire free skate canceling the series of ice dancers and crowd participants and camera guys he had hired for a very public proposal that it is NOT HAPPENING.

The entire restaurant erupts with applause when the table next to theirs announces their proposal, an engagement ring presented to a bride in a glass of champagne. Yuuri says, “I can’t imagine such a tacky and cliched proposal. Can you really not think of something more personal and romantic than what movies have shown you?” When the waiter comes around with their ‘complimentary’ glasses of champagne, Victor double-fists them both, swallowing hard around a 10k diamond ring. “I was very thirsty,” he says, signaling for another round, choking a little. “So, so thirsty.”

Realizing how flawed his Public Display of Affection technique was, Victor decides to have a more private engagement. He hides the ring on Makkachin’s harness and has a five-course dinner catered at home, courtesy of him not knowing how to make anything except for protein shakes and scrambled eggs on toast. Except that’s the day that between Victor getting flowers and Victor picking up his new Soon-To-Be-Ravished Engagement suit, Yuuri takes Makkachin to the groomers and comes back excited to show off a clean-cut dog minus one engagement ring. (“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the groomer says the next day, flashing a suspicious gold ring they were not wearing the day before with a flip of their hand. “I didn’t find anything.”)

Yuuri meanwhile realizes what Victor’s game plan has been the entire time, and feeling awful, decides to ask for his hand in marriage in a public display of affection. They’re seeing a hockey match as a family with Yurio, and Yuuri lets the event staff know ahead of time he would like to propose to Victor on the overhead screen. The venue tries and fails—the kiss cam lands on Yuuri and Yurio when Victor is getting more drinks. Yurio sees his moment and Goes For It ™.

They don’t expect it to go like this: Yuuri on the couch getting a foot rub, face lolling to the side. “Marry me,” he says, and he means nothing by it, but everything at the same time, and Victor kisses his big toe and says, “I do.”

It’s a home birth. They’ve got fucking mood tapes made, they have candles, they have a pool in their living room, they have comforting smells. Yuuri is ready.

Yuuri is NOT ready, but he pretends he is ready. The comforting smells are not comforting and Victor opens all the windows and he is in so much pain and Yuuri really hates this??? But Victor Does Not Know. All Victor knows it that Yuuri has a well-organized birthing kit, full of things like ziplock bags he’s written PLACENTA on in his neat, English handwriting, and a cheap shower curtain to line the bathing tub covered in orange and blue squids. He calls the neighbors about the loud noises and when the baby doesn’t come, but the contractions are shitty, he lets Victor practically break his hand as they walk in circles around their small concrete backyard in New York.

Yuuri calls the midwife and Yuuri makes green tea with brown rice and Yuuri sweeps the floor approximately twenty-nine times and Yuuri pours him glass after glass of water and sits with him on the edge of the bathtub while he tries and fails to pee and cuts him thin slices of watermelon and wipes his sweaty hair back and traces his fingers through Victor’s scalp.

Yuuri’s face is there. It’s the only face Victor needs to see. There’s a midwife and an apprentice and Makkachin (and waiting out in a car trying to manage his own panic attack, Yuri Plisetsky) there too, but as far as Victor’s world is concerned it’s Yuuri, Yuuri, Yuuri as he pushes and breathes and shifts and breathes and cries and breathes, and Yuuri is there, and he’s beautiful.

Yuuri is so good at positive reinforcement and telling Victor that he did a good job, even though they’re both crying, and he’s so good at holding the baby and looking at the baby and saying, “baby,” with vocal chords capable of making noise, and Yuuri is so good at being tender and wonderful and himself and pressing kisses to Victor’s sweaty temple and cutting the chord and laying next to him and saying, “way to go, papa, looks like we just won gold.”

When he had to tell Victor that Air Bud wasn’t a documentary

When he has to tell Victor that Ronald McDonald isn’t a real person, and definitely not a politician or someone who sacrificed his own life for America.

No, he never took a giant robot to school. No, that was—it’s just in a lot of cartoons, Victor. Giant robots aren’t a thing in Japan. No, we have a defense force, we do not have an army of giant robots.

No, Victor, potato vodka is not a vegetable, please stop arguing with me, this is the seventh time.

Victor is devastated when they move to Venice Beach after retiring to find out that rollerblading and fishnet shirts are No Longer A Thing. Also, that Pauly Shore is no longer relevant. Victor watches Encino Man seven times that weekend and refuses to go outside.

MAN, i couldn’t answer this one, and i’ll tell you why: even though you wrote “’typically’ masculine,” it just suggests so much and so little. this is a hard hunger to feed. when i read this, it seems like someone wants to cement one identity as ‘more masculine’ and another as ‘more feminine’. it also completely disregards that the idea of ‘masculinity’ is not constant through different cultures, and what ‘masculine’ in russia and ‘masculine’ in japan may not, and is not cohesive with the western idea of masculine. i tried to answer this initially anyway, but it just made me too uncomfortable. yuuri and victor are men, but they shouldn’t be regulated by that, and they also shouldn’t have to live out expectations beyond that. i don’t feel comfortable defining that. does that make sense? i hope this doesn’t bum you out, but for multiple reasons, i couldn’t answer this one.

The entire sequence of Yuuri’s breakdown in the parking lot, his free skate, to the kiss in episode seven. I love Georgi’s FS music when they’re recovering from seeing each other raw and walking toward the rink, I love Yuuri’s recognition of Victor as an imperfect human and imperfect coach, I love the monologue while he skates, I LOVE him attempting the quad flip for the first time. The kiss was the first part I had seen of the anime, and it convinced me to watch the show, because I’m so tired of queerbating, but!! When i saw it within the series, the emotions that built up to it completely wrecked me. I still get emotional watching it.

I have watched the airport scene from the end of episode 9 probably just as much as I’ve watched the kiss. The way Victor says, “it would be nice if you never retired.” Fucks me up!!! Just fucks me up.

Any second that Christophe Giacometti is on screen. I love him. I love him so much.

The entire first nine episodes with the new eyes of the episode ten reveal. Coupled with the last ten seconds of episode ten. “BEEEEE MAAAAAAI COOOOOOCHI”

The fucking pairs skate, fucking end me, jesus fucking christ.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: when they hug during the flashback over Yuuri getting that 4F score, when they kiss rings, touch hands, touch each other, whenever Victor gets in Yuuri’s space that no one else is allowed to occupy but Victor can with ease, the aggressive hugging sequence in episode nine, just like, the entire fucking series, leave me alone.

Yuri doesn’t give a shovel talk, but he does suggest he and Yuuri kill Victor with a shovel so they can be together forever.

Yakov wants to tell Yuuri to be good to Vitya, but after the incident at the Rostelecom Cup, he realizes that Victor probably needs the shovel talk a lot more than Yuuri. Yuuri doesn’t skate past Yakov’s criticisms sing-songing “I can’t he-e-a-a-r y-o-o-o-u,” and he doesn’t invite the entire st. petersburg philharmonic to compose from the stands while he works on his new routine, and in the end yakov’s shovel talk is more like, “if you ever need help burying his body, it would please me greatly to help.”

Georgi tries to give Yuuri the shovel talk, because Georgi understands Real Pain, and it’s what he would have wanted when his heart was broken, but then Yuuri looks away and grabs at the inside of his elbow shyly and says, “I heard what you went through with Anya, I can only imagine how that felt, so I understand—“ and Georgi is crying Yuuri suddenly and holding him.

“I didn’t think he had a heart to break before he met you,” Mila admits as they watch Victor practicing his jumps. He’s been able to add another half rotation to his triple axel, but his knees have been hurting him lately, and in turn it hurts to watch how determined he can be when he really wants something and has no way of hiding from it. “But he does, even if he’s better at hiding how he feels about you than he does about his sport. You break his heart, I break your legs.”

Victor’s always been Lilia’s favorite student from Yakov, and she’s always had a working rivalry with Minako, so any time Victor shows up in less than perfect form, when he and Yuuri aren’t looking at each other with the usual tenderness in the mornings, she sees no problem in pulling Yuuri aside and making him do hundreds on a reformer until he’s throwing up. It’s more effective than any shovel talk.

#yuri on ice #victuuri #headcanons #victor nikiforov #yuuri katsuki #five things #replies #mpreg #credit to wortwood for so many of the bad marriage proposals and for making me laugh so hard i cry in the kitchen

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i-read-good-books · 8 years ago

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yoi lotr au

this is from several centuries ago but i think i never made a tumblr post for it and it’s my favourite fic that i’ve written so you know fuck modesty ayy

Title: "The Adventures of Sparkly Elf and Soft Hobbit, Endured With Great Patience by The Bright And Powerful, Best In The Land, Yuri Plisetsky."

Word Count: 4k

Summary: Critics have always considered "The Adventures of Sparkly Elf and Soft Hobbit, Endured With Great Patience by The Bright And Powerful, Best In The Land, Yuri Plisetsky." one of the most faithful descriptions of Legend Victor Nikiforov, the greatest elven fighter for more than eight centuries. Although it is narrated by Plisetsky as an adolescent, and thus contains strong language and spends more time ridiculizing his travelling companions than giving thoughtful insight into Nikiforov's psyche, it still remains as an essential reading in every scholar that decides to study Nikiforov [...] //

Day 95: Caught Nikiforov writing love poems. Am appalled at bad writing more than anything else. Example: “I really like your dark eyes / and all the other parts of your face. Your butt is the perfect size / and I would love to see you in lace.” Hope the Hobbit cannot read, or am afraid this love story will not have a pleasant ending.

Alternatively: Elf!Yuri talks shit about Elf!Victor and Hobbit!Yuuri in his diary.

Link to ao3: here

Actual fic under the cut:

"The Adventures of Sparkly Elf and Soft Hobbit, Endured With Great Patience by The Bright And Powerful, Best In The Land, Yuri Plisetsky."

Critics have always considered "The Adventures of Sparkly Elf and Soft Hobbit, Endured With Great Patience by The Bright And Powerful, Best In The Land, Yuri Plisetsky." one of the most faithful descriptions of Legend Victor Nikiforov, the greatest elven fighter for more than eight centuries. Although it is narrated by Plisetsky as an adolescent, and thus contains strong language and spends more time ridiculizing his travelling companions than giving thoughtful insight into Nikiforov's psyche, it still remains as an essential reading in every scholar that decides to study Nikiforov, as Plisestky was his protégé and closest friend. It is also, admittedly, an incredibly honest read, compared to some stories that overglorify Nikiforov and paint him as overworldly. The beginning of his relationship with Yuuri Katsuki, famous hobbit adventurer, is also illustrated in the book.

- Excerpt from "Victor Nikiforov: Legend and Truth", by scholar and famous entertainer Minako Okukawa.

Day -24: Nikiforov barges into my room in the middle of the night, wearing a pink frilly nightdress that I am quite convinced belongs to Mila, and announces, terribly loud, “Yuri! I have found my next adventure!” Proceeds to leave the room immediately, leaving glitter on my floor. My brethren and I have had our sleep disturbed for no conceivable reason. If this happens to be similar to the Human Pleasure Device Incident, will slit Nikiforov’s throat in the night.

Day -23: Nikiforov appears to be convinced that his adventure will be worthwhile. He has promised me he will not request me to undress a human female again. I have politely asked him not to ever mention the Incident again. Might have to invest in more of my daggers, as they have proved to be extremely useful. Nikiforov cheerfully informs me this adventure will involve hobbits. Do not see how this is supposed to encourage me to join him in his mad tourist trips across Middle Earth. Will ask Mila if hobbits are edible. Am unsure if she will know either.

Day -22: Hobbits are not edible, Mila is a terrible tattle tale, and Yakov is considering bringing me to a “place with other elves your age, lad”. If I am found dead come morning, Grandfather, ensure my fellow warriors find a safe place.

Day -21: Nikiforov will not consider my polite request to “leave me the fuck alone”, and continues to bother me at weapons training with plans for his reckless endeavour. He tells me there’s a magic hobbit in the Shire who can attract ancient creatures. Am glad, maybe this hobbit will get devoured before Nikiforov tracks him down. It would be fortunate.

Day -20: The Devil Himself (Yakov, Grandfather, I mention him sparsely, as I rather dislike him. He is too loud and much too tall) has declared he considers the idea of me joining Nikiforov’s wild trips marvelous, instead of repugnant. Do not know if simply stupid or just senile. Will consider murdering him to avoid leaving. Rivendell is not terribly disgusting at this time of year, and my warriors are comfortable here.

Day -19: Got caught trying to sneak into The Devil’s chambers. Mila informs me that “killing is not nice, baby”. Am not a baby. Am nearly 50 years old, you wrench.

Day -17: Neither threats nor pleading have persuaded my instructors. Am supposed to leave in two days’ time to get to the hellhole called “The Shire” to kidnap a prepubescent hobbit and force him to do our bidding. Have informed Nikiforov this sounds remarkably like “sexual harassment”. Nikiforov replies that I should stop reading Mila’s psychology novels. Am offended. I only read them for the plot.

Day -16: Hobbits are apparently smaller than dwarves. Cannot wait to be taller than someone. Am properly excited.

Day -15: Nikiforov apparently packed his whole wardrobe for the journey. Cannot truly say I did not expect this. My warriors hide in my cape, ready to spring on unsuspecting enemies and claw their eyes out. They are not “so cute!” as Nikiforov implies. He is an ignorant, and must be eliminated as soon as possible.

Day -10: Nikiforov has run out of natural glitter. Have never seen someone so utterly devastated. Must make sure to steal the glitter more often back in Rivendell.

Day -5: Nikiforov tries to tell me about the mysterious hobbit we’re supposed to abduct and manipulate. He says I will be happy, because the hobbit is slightly younger than I am in human years. I tell him I will not be happy, because I will be with a hobbit. Nikiforov has nothing to say to that.

Day -3: Arrival at The Shire. It is disgustingly cheerful. Nikiforov tells me to “keep still” until he finds the our target. I tell him to “go fuck yourself”, and proceed to wander around the Shire. Have discovered that hobbits are, in fact, quite shorter than me. They also eat ridiculous amounts of food. I approve of both these facts. Have written down several interesting recipes for Grandfather to make when I am back in Mirkwood.

Day -2: Nikiforov comes back with our kidnapped hobbit. He does not look like much of a magical creature. He is also, indignantly, called “Yuuri”, which amuses NIkiforov to no end, and ignores my attempts at being at peace, alone , insisting that I eat far too little. Am astounded he thinks I consider his opinions about me relevant. Believe the disgusting hobbit and Nikiforov are carrying on an illicit love affair, if their repugnant longing looks are anything to go by. I fear for my virtue.

Day -1: Hobbit: “Well, Victor, I don’t -” Nikiforov: “Did you...did you just call me by my given name?” Hobbit, while an alarming shade of red: “I’m so sorry, please, excuse me -” Nikiforov, the same shade: “No, uh, it’s fine.” I wish for the sweet relief of death.

Day 0: After a day of making eyes at Nikiforov, like only the blind do, Frighteningly Cheerful Hobbit invites us to sleep at his “hobbit hole” before our journey… I do not know what his “hole” refers to, and do not wish to know. Grandfather...hobbits are such deviants.

Day 1: We set off. Hobbit has forgotten his Pork Cutlet Bowl knife. We return to his “hole” (a type of house in the ground, I was mistaken, Grandfather, although it was painful for the height of the ceiling. Nikiforov, I am happy to say, was hurt much more badly than I was. But he did share a room with the Hobbit, which is a greater punishment than any creature needs) and get it. We set off once more. Nikiforov has forgotten his hairbrush. I throw one of my warriors at him to end his life. Warrior just meows. Am tired of this journey already.

Day 5: Have finally reached Bree. Easily Terrified Hobbit fidgets incessantly and clings to Nikiforov’s arm like a pest. He, disgustingly, seems to enjoy it immensely, smiling besottedly at the creature and making the hobbit get flustered in increasingly obvious ways. Have decided to find some poison in case they act any more smitten around each other. Bought food and blankets for my fellow warriors, although it was of an abysmally low quality. Strangely, miss Rivendell, in a It-was-terrible-but-familiar way. Must make sure to never grow attached to any place again.

Day 12: Hobbit has learnt about elven mealtimes, and is horrified. “How dare you, Victor?” he shouted at Nikiforov today, “Yuri is a child , he must be fed much more than this! I can’t believe you’d be so irresponsible! How many meals does he have a day, huh? Huh?!” Nikiforov, looking terrified and backing up, even though he is almost twice the hobbit’s heights, replied, “Um...three, four times per day?” This is my only source of entertainment, Grandfather. The Hobbit is currently not speaking to him, refusing to even look at him, and treats me like a newborn elf, which offends me greatly. Am glad he has seen the light regarding Nikiforov, although he is completely mistaken. I am not a child, and do not need feeding.

Day 17: ....the Hobbit’s cooking is surprisingly edible. Am fine with being a child for him. Hope Mila never finds out. Must destroy all evidence. Hobbit is elated, and calls me “dear”. Must kill him, too.

Day 18: After reflecting on it for a day, cannot believe hobbits are so advanced in the culinary department. Although they lack many other attributes (like basic intelligence and a sense of common decency), they certainly have a great amount of talent and ingenuity regarding sustenance. Truly remarkable creatures, these hobbits, even if they are inferior to us. They eat seven meals a day, Grandfather. Must market this. Inform the Financial Advisor, Yuri Purrsetsky.

Day 19: As of today, have been attacked by orcs, most of them riding drooling wargs (utterly repulsive), trolls and several unpleasant inebriated humans. Nikiforov is ecstatic that Hobbit attracts them to us. The Hobbit does not look as pleased with the confrontations, and has resumed his desperate clinging to Nikiforov, apparently forgiving him for starving me. I enjoy myself while making clever jokes about how the hobbit should learn to handle Nikiforov’s “sword”, and cackle evilly when he flushes.

Day 35: Mila has sent me a letter. It says: “LOL VICTOR SAYS YOU EAT HOBBIT FOOD YOU FUCKING NERD”. Nikiforov will die tonight. Am prepared to run from the law.

Day 48: Hobbit insists my brethren are “adorable”. I inform him it is a slight on his part, as they are fierce warriors who could kill him in his sleep. Warrior Dreaded Claw discredits me by purring while the Hobbit pets him. Feel betrayed by my comrades.

Day 50: The Hobbit keeps touching my warriors. Get your hands off them, you filthy mongrel .

Day 53: Nikiforov has joined the warrior shaming, most likely to get points from Hobbit, who is delighted someone supports him. Nikiforov takes advantage of this by putting his hand on the Hobbit's shoulder and walking him everywhere to "get stuff for your kittens, Yuri!". Hobbit makes a point to coo every single time he sees me with my warriors. Am offended this behaviour is allowed to continue without any repercussions, and consider it a baseless infantilization of my noble and solemn partners. EDIT: Must remember to heat the milk I bought for Sharp Fang, as she is sensitive to cold liquids and too young to be risking her health.

Day 60: The Hobbit Yuuko (AKA The Least Unbearable Hobbit I Have Ever Met) has sent me a letter. It is three feet of parchment long, and she explains in great detail how goats are raised in different climates. Am unsure what she means by this. Will ask Hobbit if this is part of some sick courtship ritual between these creatures.

Day 62: Not As Annoying As Most Hobbits has sent another letter. Apparently, the first one was for somebody else. In my letter, she tells me how to take care of my “luscious, glorious hair, Yuri!” and gives me advice on proper elven fashion. ...do not know which of the two was worse.

Day 73: They have not kissed. They very pointedly do not sleep in the same tent. I can feel the gods’ anger. Cannot deal with the residual traces of sexual tension in the air. Am unable to sleep for fear of them starting to become... intimate while I find myself in deep slumber, ignorant of the horrors happening next to me. Am considering calling the Furry Wizard to take me in, such is my desperation.

Day 80: Fought a dragon. Meh, could’ve been better. Hobbit rewarded us for saving his life by giving us some of its Pork magic dish.

Day 105: The Hobbit has sewn pockets into my Tiger Monster cape to keep my warriors there as we travel. Hobbit is extremely worried for my health and that of my brethren, so I allow him to live one more day. Must use him as blackmail against Nikiforov.

Day 110: "I wonder about all the eros you can give me." The hobbit thinks this is an intercultural thing, and is blushing in a ridiculous manner. I am concerned about the education received in the Shire. I fear for Nikiforov’s blood pressure. Do not know if I will escape to a safe place before he inevitably jumps the Hobbit.

Day 117: Fifty Shades of Gandalf visits us. He says, “Victor Nikiforov, the greatest fighter in the realm, whose name is feared and revered alike. What is your destiny, what dream are you chasing with this strange ensemble of companions and felines?” Nikiforov tells him some bullshit about becoming his better self and chasing something to challenge himself. Am convinced he thought, “Getting da booty.”

Day 134: Am sitting on a moderately comfortable rock, because this is the luxury a young, outstanding elf can find near the Misty Mountains. The Very Hungry Hungry Hobbit comes up to me. “Yuri,” he says. He is clearly nervous, fidgeting and glancing around us to see if anyone is in the area. I understand this because the Hobbit is incapable of surviving on his own (it is a miracle he has reached his age without being murdered) and I feel for him, the same way I do for small rodents, cockroaches, or Victor Nikiforov. “Yuri,” he says again, while I daydream about squashing him immediately after making him reveal the ‘Most Glorious Katsudon’ recipe, “Do you think Victor likes me?”

I…

I am going back to Mirkwood.

I cannot be expected to stand this. I’m out. Grandfather, I’m coming back.

Day 141: “But, like. Do you think, um, an elf and a hobbit would like, work ? Cause, um, I’m just… very out of my depth? I really appreciate you listening to me, Yuri.” I hate my immortal existence.

Day 158: Yuuko The Most Tolerable Hobbit sends me a portrait of her minuscule hobbit triplets with straw in their head and wearing animal skins, and writes below it, They have a new idol! Am unsure if I should be pleased with this or not. Must write to them about how to improve their fashion skills. Hmmm. On second thought, might be a good idea to have some minions.

Day 173: Nikiforov has decided to teach the Hobbit how to dance, and thinks that the best way for it to go is to educate his worryingly tiny mate in some elven dancing and rites. He has failed to take into account that the Hobbit’s head barely reaches his waist. Watching them flail is the best fun I’ve had in ages.

Day 174: Nikiforov has decided that, since I am only slightly taller than the Hobbit (a fact that I am immensely proud of) we must dance together. Although I thought it terrible and meaningless at first, am now greatly entertained when Nikiforov flinches the moment I put my hands on the Hobbit. Cannot control the urge to smirk. The Hobbit is, of course, completely oblivious.

Day 192: Wake up to the sounds of the Unpleasant Hobbit moaning Victor's name. Proceed to whack them with a stick and scream, yelling profanities at them. Human raiders attack us because of it. I regret nothing.

Day 193: Hobbit is sheepish and refuses to make eye contact with me (good for him), flushing and turning away, giggling, every time That Wretched Elf touches him. Nikiforov, on the other hand, enjoys pulling his undershirt down to show the disgusting marks he left on him. Retreat to eat dinner with my brethren, huffing.

Day 206: “I hope you know that… it won’t change things, that me and Victor are together. I know you two are close, and I don’t want to get in the way of that, Yuri. It would be great if you could come to like me, too. I think you’re a great warrior, and an even better elf.” I fucking hate Hobbits and I do not tear up, no matter what Nikiforov claims. I long for the day I can murder him without repercussions.

Day 218: Nikiforov decides to adopt some rabbits. Do not know if Hobbit will be okay with having children so early into their relationship. My warriors are not unhappy with the development, although Obscure Fur is still on the fence about the bigger one.

Day 219: Hobbit grows a spine and makes Nikiforov release the rabbits. “Victor, they need to be free!” “But you let Yuri keep his kittens!” “They’re his family , Victor, and they are adorable !” Am growing to like the Hobbit more each day. What a pity that he is such an inferior creature.

Day 226: Nevermind. Must remember to always sleep with my whacking stick in hand to avoid a repeat. Will be scarred forever. Did not expect the Hobbit to be this... adventurous . Will stop thinking about the Hobbit in that context.

Day 248: "Yuuri, I...I think you've changed me. I've never felt like this before, never wanted to be with someone else so badly that my heart ached. You're...you're a shooting star across the dark night that is my life, lighting my path." "Uh...yeah, um, me too, Victor." Do not know how hobbits are still alive, if that is their standard reproductive behaviour. Will inform Grandfather not to invest in the hobbit gardening industry, as it might end in the near future because of hobbit shortage. My stick has been graced with another whacking, and Nikiforov coincidentally has another bruise, this time not because of his disgusting deviant tendencies, which are quite unbecoming of an elf of his breeding.

Day 253: I…

Another dragon found us today, while we were travelling. I was not worried, as I have grown used to Nikiforov handling every monstrous creature thrown our way without trouble. The Flamboyant Elf didn’t disappoint this time, of course, but he took longer than usual. Hobbit, in his stupid panic, tried to help. Hobbit...Yuuri (I might call him by his given name, as he might be dead by tomorrow) got injured. I… Saw Nikiforov crying for the first time. Do not want to see it again. Grandfather...have you seen this before? The way an elf fears for their mortal lover? Is this pain the one the stories talk about, woven in the songs? Will Nikiforov, too, die with the Hobbit? ...Will I be left alone?

Day 255: The Hobbit hasn’t woken up. Nikiforov does not leave his side. The ingredients for the past two nights’ dinner are still in the Hobbit’s bag, but I am not hungry. My brethren refuse to eat, as well. That wretched Hobbit should die, as stupid and careless as he is. He will do nothing but bring us grief.

Day 279: After weeks of fever and incessant worrying, the Hobbit is once again healthy. I tell him it would be a shame if he died before I could torture him to punish him for his misdeeds and insults to my person. He insists on fussing over me, as I am, apparently “too skinny, oh god, did Victor even feed you?”. His desire to take care of me (as if I needed it, the self-centered bastard) must wait, given the fact that Nikiforov hasn’t let go of him for the past twelve hours. Am shocked and repulsed to find that I do not find it as disgusting as I once did. Must be a side effect of living with these deviants.

Day 284: Send poison, Grandfather, I beg of you. My dutiful army of terrifying kittens, it is time to fulfill our destiny and end the suffering in this world. I cannot bear this any longer. Grandfather, you might be disappointed in me if I become a murderer, fleeing the law and taking refuge in the dwarven mountains, but I will not witness the Irritatingly Red Hobbit feeding Victor that Precious Katsudon once more. No more .

Day 290: The Hobbit insists on us visiting the Shire for some time. He says he must give news to his family, and it has been too long since he was home. Nikiforov immediately agreed with the Hobbit and disregarded my protests, because he is whipped. Heard the Hobbit talking about introducing Nikiforov to his family. Am slightly impressed with how manipulative he can be.

Day 302: One of my warriors gave birth to more of our troops last night. Hobbit is delighted, and helps me care of them. I watch him carefully to make sure he does not try to harm them, although I doubt he has enough of a brain to have ulterior motives. Nikiforov enjoys teasing me about them, “Weren’t they supposed to be fearsome warriors who needed no assistance, Yuri?” I retort with, “Weren’t you supposed to be pretty , Nikiforov? People lie.”

Day 305: Nikiforov is still sulking about the comment I made. Hobbit tries to reassure him he is pretty with an endless stream of compliments, and kisses an unnecessary amount of times in my presence. I do my best to ignore them, and fantasize about tearing them apart limb by limb.

Day 317: Have finally arrived at the Shire, and am quite excited to see Yuuko, The Almost Pleasant Hobbit once more. Perhaps will enjoy my time with my “fans”, the triplets. Have received a letter from Mila. It reads: “Is it true Victor’s banging that Hobbit? Omg, take pictures!”. Did not reply.

Day 319: I take all my nice words about my fans back.Children are demons and I cannot wait to leave the Shire. Why must they exist? When I voiced my complaints to Nikiforov, who looks like an extremely suspiciously happy elf after leaving Bumbling Fool Hobbit's room in the morning, he cackles very unattractively and says, "But you are a child, Yuri." Grandfather, this is harassment.

Day 321: Have caught a ‘cold’ from the fiendish triplets. I fear for my life. Grandfather, it has been good knowing you. Must say goodbye to my brethren. Wish to die surrounded by them, in proper elvish attire, while Nikiforov’s body burns on a spike.

Day 324: The Hobbit has established himself as my own physician, and pretends to know any knowledge about basic medicine while sharing his observations with an actual medical professional in the Shire. Have made peace with the Hobbit’s overwhelming stupidity. Nikiforov tries to help, but Hobbit hisses at him and possessively calls me “his patient”. Am overjoyed that this makes the Drama Queen Elf pout.

Day 328: Am feeling much better, and do not think I will die soon. Yuuko brings me pie, which I feel is the least I deserve after her devilish children got me infected.

Day 330: Today, the Bondage Wizard With A Pointy Hat came to the Shire. He informed us that the Hobbit does not in fact attract any magical creatures at all, and it was all his doing. Therefore, this journey was a road to self-realization (except I somehow got strung along. Funny how it is never wizards that get caught up in “destiny”.). Nikiforov looks slightly annoyed, but is disgustingly happy with the Hobbit. I am not blinded by these trivial matters, and proceed to whack the Bondage Wizard with my stick. Cannot believe I wasted a year of my life on this useless adventure. Will be back soon, Grandfather.

Day 373: Am back in Rivendell. Mila is calling herself “a huge Nikatsuki shipper”, which could possibly be her new cult name. Yakov yells at me, which is normal. Miss the Hobbit’s cooking, if not his presence. Definitely do not miss Nikiforov, not in the slightest.

Day 458: Have received an invitation to the Hobbit and Nikiforov’s wedding. Have advised Mila to bring arsenic in case they engage in intimate activities while in the presence of others. Will consider taking Grandfather with me, so he can inspect the culinary developments in the Shire. Yuuko says the couple is “so adorable, Yuri!”. Poor deluded hobbit.

fin

#victuuri #yoi #yuri on ice #fanfiction #lotr #lotr au

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