#NOTE: MY YURI EXPERIENCE IS PRETTY LIMITED SO YKNOW. GRAIN OF SALT
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yuri (ime)'s allergy to butches is kind of funny to me. the two genders of sapphic are long hair and bob
#it also pains me greatly but i do think there's yuri out there with more masc characters i just. havent found it yet orz#NOTE: MY YURI EXPERIENCE IS PRETTY LIMITED SO YKNOW. GRAIN OF SALT#im discovering i think i have a 'gay guy alienated by bl' thing about gl unfortunately#like it's not bad i just think im going into it with too much investment in it as Representation and/or Wish Fulfillment#as primed by how we (broadly) discuss rep and how ppl are typically supposed to enjoy romance media#in ways i haven't quite managed to overcome yet#it's also a lot of other factors too that are probably too complex for tags but include like..#preferring media where romantic/sexual tension remains unresolved which yk doesn't tend to happen in yuri bc it's defined by its resolution#to some extent. preferring media where ppl beat each other up intricate rituals style and media shying away from that with women.#finding female characters to often be filtered through acceptable types of weird/attractive with results i tend to find unappealing#(theyre not allowed to be weird so much as adorkable)#and in general just not bumping into the What Is Wrong With You Guys (/captivated) thing i prefer to see in characters and dynamics#AGAIN i think the answer is not to stop consuming gl (or sapphic media broadly bc many of these problems hold true#for my feelings about western sapphic media) but instead to adjust my methods to better find what i like#because i DO go fucking nuts for sapphic shit pretty often it's just like. most of the stuff i see recommended in cute little lists#is not that. so i must get into the thick of it bc i find a lot of it to be sort of.. emotionally tepid#i need higher stakes and weirder girls!! i think the answer might also be to read more manga bc manga's cheaper to make and thus less risky#so weirder stuff is probably gonna get okayed for manga than for anime. i guess#oh also i mean. some of it is also internalized misogyny. i can't tell to what extent obv but i know thats gotta be a part of it yk#in finding male characters more compelling or whatever. like how much of my trouble with female characters is from their Genuinely Being#Written Worse/Less Human/Less Goofy and how much of it is merely me not seeing their goofiness bc of bias is impossible for me to tell#but i know that both are in play to some extent at all times. yeah 👍#anyway ive found that stuff with psychological and intense subtextual elements reeeeally cook me properly#(need to finish d.ear brother i need to i need to)#ultimately i think i might just need to consume more women-centric media to find noncanon pairs but my luck with that has been kinda bad tbh#im just not getting that itch scratched. so every once in a while i need to complain about it and sigh real deep and then get back to it#but i am sick of media (broadly) only having like. gender conforming femmes. no hate to them irl but that is Not what all dykes look like!!#it's untapped potential and it hurts my feelings and it's unrealistic!!! yeah#if manga exists of buff women bloodying each other up homoerotically i would pay one billion dollars to read it. that is all.#like if there's a yuri equivalent of bara PLEASE. POINT ME THATAWAY. I BEG YOU
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