#it also helps that that was nooot his only name. hes been through those things like candy

[perenlop]

something that may raise some eyebrows. but i am sort of exhausted of censoring my own experiences and treating life before coming out as a part of me that shouldn't be talked about in fiction.

[kpopisthereasonihavenolife]

When MX realized the moment they fell in love with their best friend

Shownu: He had been friends with you for the majority of life.  You both shared similar interests and that included dance and singing.  Although your tastes in the subject would sometimes clash, they still kept the friendship between you.  In high school, when Shownu was introduced to your new boyfriend, he felt a strange nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach when he noticed how you smiled to your boyfriend.  Over time, he’d notice how he would start seeing you less, of if you were with him, your conversations would be cut short by your boyfriend coming and pulling you away from Shownu.  Not wanting to interfere with your relationship, he just shut his mouth and let it all happen.  

Texts from you also shortened, and soon both your presence, voice and text messages were all gone from his life.  It was a short time that you went without contacting him at all, but it felt like a horribly long, torturous time to Shownu.  It was early on a weekend, that Shownu’s phone was ringing, waking him up from his sleep.  

Early may be an understatement, as he saw your name light across his screen at 3:14 AM. When he picked up the call, he sat up in bed and answered you.  When you spoke, your voice was low and almost raspy as you only asked if he’d let you inside.   

He darted to the door, keeping his phone to his ear as he unlocked and unlatched it before swinging it open.  You stood in front of him, eyes puffy from crying and head hanging slightly with your phone to your ear.  He quickly pulled you to into the apartment he lived in, and then held you to his chest as you cried more. You went on to tell him about how your boyfriend was a jerk who was just trying to get in your pants and have someone to order around.  You apologize for not contacting him, but Shownu knew it wasn’t your fault.  He took you to his room and let you rest on his bed with him as you wept yourself to sleep.  

Looking at your swollen, saddened face, he had the strongest urge to protect you.  He didn’t want anything, or anyone, to hurt you again.  He wanted you to stay with him, as his.  Seeing you at your most vulnerable, and also knowing your smile and laugh as well as your tears and fears, made him realize he was in love.

*Shownu’s phone rings with your name across the screen*

Shownu: Hello?  Y/N?  What are you calling so early for?

Y/N: Sorry, could you just, let me inside?

*bounds out of bed and opens the door to pull you inside after seeing your swollen eyes.  You continue to cry and talk to him finally*

Y/N: I’m so sorry.. I didn’t- i didn’t mean to ignore you, he just- he wouldn’t let me have my phone.  A-and he always followed me around and all he just wanted to fuck around with me and I-i didn’t

Shownu: Hey, it’s okay.  I won’t let anyone inside, and you’re safe here.  I know it wasn’t your fault. 

*takes you back to his room where you fall asleep with him on his bed as he stares at your sleeping figure* 

Shownu: When you wake up, I hope you realized that you need to be with me, stay in my arms where you’re safe.  I won’t let anyone hurt you, not ever again. 

Wonho: You were both gym rats.  Of course, Wonho, on one of his many trips to the gym, he met you.  You were casually jogging at a steady pace on a treadmill, hair pulled back and where a crop-top with shorts and supportive tennis shoes.  He thought you charming, so even if he was an awkward mess to new people, he decided to start up the treadmill next to yours and eventually, somehow a conversation started.  

It started with you lip syncing and humming to the music the gym had playing for those without headphones.  Then it progressed to your favorite method of exercise, then to vitamins, foods, health products, the whole nine yards.  

Eventually, you both started seeing each other at the gym regularly and you even learned about his status as an idol, and having listened to his music, you were a pretty big fan of his work, as well as the rest of MX. 

After a while of being at the gym together and chatting, becoming closer friends, you’d started calling these meeting ‘dates’.  Soon enough, you two even started meeting outside the gym. He’d invite you to eat at his favorite ramyeon place, or he’d even bring you to the dorms so you could meet the rest of MX, whom you are also now close with.  

It was one day when Wonho was laying in bed on his phone, texting you when Minhyuk causally suggest him liking her as more than a friend that it seemed to click.  As he interally freaked out about liking someone, and potentially having a future girlfriend, he knew dating an idol was a pain in the ass for the non-famous side of the relationship.  

So, sitting down with Minhyuk as they talked, he was able to accept the feelings he had towards you and Minhyuk was already planning, with the rest of the members, the best way for him to confess to you.  As you already talked to Changkyun about how you like Hoseok too.  

*Wonho casually texting you, deciding your next gym date* 

Minhyuk:  So, you have a thing for Y/N?

Wonho:  I’m sorry?? What? 

*proceeds to have an entire conversation, making Wonho come to terms with his feelings*

Wonho: I can’t have her as a girlfriend, dating an idol is hard.  I don’t want to hurt her. 

Minhyuk: I don’t think she’d mind.  She knows you love what we do, and we care about our Monbebe.  You don’t really have to worry about it too much. 

*Has a new conversation about the pros and cons of a relationship with you until they’re discussing confession ideas with the rest of the members who eventually gather into the room, one by one.*

Minhyuk: You were an assistant manager for Starship Entertainment’s boy group Monsta X.  Following orders given by their official manager, Mr. Kim, or stepping up when he was sick or unable to attend certain occasions, that’s when your role was the most crucial. However, despite this, you were able to act naturally around the group of 7 boys and created a positive relationship with all of them. You were especially close to the mood maker of the group, the ever loud Lee Minhyuk. 

You two became closer when he was directing the acoustic film making of Beautiful.  He ran off his ideas past you before finalizing something.  He’d ask for your opinion on the setup for each member as well as their wardrobe.  You’d give your pointers and also help manager the time in which he had left in completing the filming. 

That long day gave the two of you more time to work as well as bond than most would.  Now, every time he could, he’d invite you over to the dorms if you weren’t busy.  He’d text you if you weren’t around while he and the rest of his team were out on his schedules and you couldn’t make it.  You both made sure that you’d keep each other healthy, making sure to check if each other ate or are staying warm/cold in the weather outside. It wouldn’t take long for him to realize how he felt towards you. 

 He was also so use to seeing you dressed in your business slacks and a button up shirt with your hair put up neatly (If your hair is short, just have it neater than your everyday look), but when he and the rest of the team were out walking around shopping, they’d spotted you.  You’re look had changed and you looked too cute for Minhyuk with your hair loose and your clothes much more comfortable fitting.  He knew at that moment, how hard he fell for you. 

*Jooheon, Minhyuk and Hyungwon are out shopping with MX, but are by themselves with the other four somewhere else* 

Hyungwon: *spots you* Ah, isn’t that Y/N over there?

*Minhyuk and Jooheon look around* 

Jooheon:  Waaah, they look different outside of work hours.  It’s almost weird. 

Minhyuk: *interally screaming*  Yahh, who said they can be that cute when they’re not working.  That’s not fair and I’m not going to stand for it.  Literally anyone can hit on them when they look that nice.  

*exagerating to the max and JH and HW just stand there like wft bro* *Jooheon groans and Hyungwon smirks* 

Minhyuk: What?

Jooheon: The team took sides on if you liked Y/N or nooot! *pouts*

Hyungwon:  He was on the losing side, if you can’t tell. 

Minhyuk: … YAH! DON’T BET ON MY LOVE LIFE YOU CRONES!

Kihyun: You were the personal photography of Monsta X.  You were one of the lucky individual’s to receive copies of their schedules and follow them on occasion to snap the photos that their beloved MONBEBE’s craved to see.  You had just finished up and graduated from majoring in photography and were lucky enough to be hired by Starship to follow the boys around. 

Your tasks would rotate from giving advice on the best selca angle, to taking professional pictures at fanmeets and concerts and even sometimes working the rolling cams to capture videos for MVs or interviews.  

You were going through a role of your most recent shots on your laptop when you felt someone come up behind you, scanning the photos with you.  Nonother than Yoo Kihyun.  You knew Kihyun had an interest in photography himself, and he was very skilled at the art of picture taking, whether he recognized his talent himself or not.  You had shifted over a bit and pulled up a stood for him to sit on as you invited him to help evaluate what photos to save, what to edit and what to post with filters or without.  

Soon, you both found yourself doing this almost every jacket shoot they took. He’d go over the photos of himself and his team and pick out his favorites.  On your days you weren’t photographing and the boys were free, you’d go through the camera roll on your phone as Kihyun peeked over your shoulder to see what your phone had.  

Then, one day you had come over to hang out and once again share photos, but as Kihyun walked into the living room from his room to change, he saw your slumped body sleeping on the couch.  As a photographer, life wasn’t easy.  You’d always fret about the smallest things, and those would keep you up at night.  You’re sleep schedule was nearly as horrid as his own. 

So, as he sat himself down next to you, he pulled to rest your head on his shoulder and pulled his phone from his pocket.  Opening the front camera, he took a sneaky selca of you sleeping on his shoulder and rather casually put it as his phone background.  He knew he was attracted to your skill from day 1, but maybe that was just him trying to deny his attraction to you as a person. 

Kihyun: Yah, Y/N, have you gone through the photos of the fanmeet in Seoul yet? 

*sees you sleeping on the couch and sits next to you, pulling you to lay on his shoulder* 

Kihyun:  I suppose, you are tired.  I’ll let you sleep, but not for free.  *pulls out his phone and takes a selca of you sleeping on his shoulder*  This is your fee.  If you’re aloud to fall asleep in a boys dorm, at least make sure it’s always with me around, you understand? 

Hyungwon: You both met while Hyungwon was a runway model.  You were as well, advertising and wearing the latest fashion to show off.  There was a couple model event and you and your co-workers were to be paired up with a group of male models.  You ended up being paired with Hyungwon.  

Before the photo-shoot and the modeling job was to arrive, you were to spend time with your partner so you would be able to act like a real couple. Hyungwon was usually with you walking around a park, or sitting at some random cafe drinking a coffee as you talked and got to know each other.  

You both took your jobs seriously, so when you exchanged numbers for work, none of your expected to truly become so close.  Even when the day of the job came and went, you two still remained close, and soon as time passed and he was already competing on and finishing No.Mercy and debuting with Monsta X.  

It was no surprised that all of the members knew you, as he would often talk about you to them and you met most of them while they were filming on No.Mercy.  So when you would show up at the dorms, no one was surprised, they’d just be delighted, Hyungwon the most. 

He’s known for sometime that he had something of a crush on you, but he didn’t act on any of his feelings, knowing he is busy all the time.  However, on one of your visits, Kihyun, who happens to know Hyungwon likes you, decides to tease and ‘flirt’ with you.  Effectively, Hyungwon announces the two of you will be going out on your own and you spend the rest of the afternoon walking around.

Of course, Hyungwon walked you home and returned to the dorms, only to have a long conversation on why Kihyun decided to be a twerp. 

*You’re over for a visit today and Kihyun keeps standing closer than normal to you.  He’s talking more about your interests and jobs, and even praising photos that have been released recentlly as you’re still doing modeling* 

Hyungwon:  *Annoyed*  Hey, Y/N, we’re going out.  Put your shoes on.  

Y/N: Uh, what?  Okay??

*Hyungwon glares at Kihyun, leaves with you and leaves Kihyun a laughing mess at his reaction*  

Jooheon: You were a new, rising rapper.  You had posted a few of your song you had composed and written onto Youtube and from there it seemed like the world was ready to welcome you.  Your content had spread through social media and the amount of views of your videos skyrocketed.  You had received shout outs and comments from all sorts of people and even small companies praising your work, but only one company decided to go out on the limb and ask if you’d like to contract with them.  

That’s how you came to be recording and producing at Startship Entertainment as a solo artist.  Your speciality stayed in rapping, but you had a talent for the singing side of performance too.  You had asked if you could begin to take dancing lessons and that way you’d have a pretty good regiment under your belt.  

You happened to be working on a song, sitting in the middle of a practice room with your headset on and a notebook on your lap, twirling the pen in your fingers.  You had an idea on what you wanted to write, but the lyrics wouldn’t come out right.  No matter the rhythm of the words used in different orders, nothing seemed to sit right with you.  You were nearly scared out of your skin when someone tapped on your shoulder, causing your headset to fall to your shoulders and you to throw your pen in terror as your notebook slid from your lap and you turned to see who touched you.  

Lee Jooheon stood behind you, one of the two rappers from a group of senior debuters, Monsta X.  YOu took a breath as you calmed your racing heart and slumped to the ground, your back laying on the hard floor.  Jooheon apologized for scaring you and asked what you were doing.  

After an intense conversation about your songs, and his as well, you discussed lyrics and beats, as well as the way you two found inspiration to write and sing and rap.  It didn’t take much for Jooheon to admire the way your spoke so happily about your songs and he immediately proposed a mixtape with the two of you.  He asked without a beat, and almost flushed out how direct he was, but nonetheless, you happily agreed. 

So, for the next few months, the two of your would meet up to work on concepts and what not for the single.  It was no mystery that the two of your got closer and enjoyed the presence of the other.  Jooheon would perk up when he caught a glance of you, or if you stopped by to talk with the members.  

Unbeknownst to you thought, Jooheon was working behind the scenes with I.M. to write yet another song he was going to release, not too long planned after his and yours.  Only difference is, the song I.M. was helping him with, was basically a vague, indirect confession to you.  The maknae never stops teasing him about it.  

I.M.: I don’t see why you don’t just come out and confess like a normal person. 

Jooheon: No way!  Why would I do something as cliche as that?  I need this to be awesome, it needs to be lit and the only way for that to happen is if it’s in a song with swagger. 

I.M.: *scans the lyrics*  Yeah, a song about how their hair is shining and their tongue parting their lips in concentration is real swaggy.  

I.M.: You two were internet friends.  You had met when he was on No.Mercy and was having a rough time.  He never mentioned he was on an elimination show to debut as K-Pop idols, until he actually debuted.  He ended up sending you a link to the Trespass MV and casually mentioned he was one of the rappers in the MV.  

You ofc, freaked out and praised him on how good the song was and how talented he was, as well as chewed him out from hiding it from you.  You two would text, call, Skype and facetime as often as possible.  

You both shared similar interests in science and he learned that he actually lived in the states, but you were born in Korea and moved to the states when you were young, so you spoke both languages.  So, you would occasionally speak in both languages.  Some in English, some in Korean and some in both mixed together which always turned into a disaster.  

So, when you one day, our of the blue, sent him a picture of a plane ticket to Korea, more specifically Seoul, Changkyun basically flipped his shit.  He ran around the dorms, freaking out about the fact his best friend was coming to Korea and he just couldn’t stay calm.  He made you call him and tell you what it was about and you said it was a surprise you had been planning. 

About a week later, Changkyun was pacing back in forth in the airport, waiting by your gate number as he waiting for your plane to land.  Soon, he caught a glimpse of you and shouted as he ran towards you.  You caught sight of him and ran to him and finally you two held each other, happy to finally meet in person.  

It was when he was holding you that he knew he choose the right person to fall in love with. 

*Changkyun pacing back and forth as you plane landed and people are soon walking into the airport, luggage tugging behind them.  Soon, he sees you* 

I.M.: Ah!  Y/N!!

*You hear him as he’s running towards you and you start running to him to, suitcase behind you.  You soon meet and embrace each other, not ready to let go for a long time*  

Y/N:  I finally made it. 

I.M.: I finally get to meet you.  I’m so happy to see you F/N.  Welcome to Korea. 

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