#also this is... maybe a very hot take. but characters arent people. theyre tools. theyre not gonna be offended if you show their deadname | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

perenlop · 1 day ago

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something that may raise some eyebrows. but i am sort of exhausted of censoring my own experiences and treating life before coming out as a part of me that shouldn't be talked about in fiction.

#okay not ME in this case but the thing holding me back with the scorpion family thing is like.#the point that castor is pre transition in it. and him being pre transition is important because it is a time in his life where #he is suffocating #and flipping between that and his adult self where he is out and free and living his own life is supposed to be a breath of relief #but. im used to ppl being like ''if you EVER portray a trans character pre transition then youre a fucking freak''#and i get why people wouldnt want to do that. they shouldnt have to.#but... idk. i wish we could portray all of ourselves in art. how we have grown over the years #my younger self is still a part of me. she wouldnt recognize me but i would protect her if i could.#i dont want to destroy her. pretend she never existed. she deserves better than that. she was struggling enough as it were #and thats sorta how i want castor to regard ''dawn''. he resented her. he's glad he's not her anymore.#but most of all he feels angry for her sake and is glad she's not struggling anymore. he's still here. he's alive. he made it.#and he's different now but he'll always defend that scared little girl #echoed voice #(i think its also like... ppl separating ''nonbinary'' from trans. to the point ppl think we literally cant call ourselves trans #so i feel excluded from that community. like i cant make art abt it because i dont have the right to. and its disheartening)#also this is... maybe a very hot take. but characters arent people. theyre tools. theyre not gonna be offended if you show their deadname #think of WHY you want to show their deadname. most of my characters deadnames aren't known bc they're not important at all #but castor's will here because i've decided that it's narratively important. because names and what they mean to ourselves is the theme her #it also helps that that was nooot his only name. hes been through those things like candy #ok this was very much a rambling incoherent babbling post ty for your time

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