#it also goes with my headcanon that karen is a lesbian in the closet

[trollinstinct]

ive had this headcanon for months, and i need more people to agree with me

[ninawritesastory]

(1) what was your first ship, and what fandom is it from? (2) is there a ship that you used to ship, but don’t anymore? (3) what’s a ship you like that most people don’t? (4) what’s a ship you hate that most people like? (5) what is the most underrated ship, in your opinion? (*) future sexuality hcs for the kids including younger sibs?

1.) Oh hell, I’m not sure if I can actually pinpoint my first ship. The first I can actually remember is probably Sherlock Holmes and John Watson, way back when I was five or six and finally got my hands on The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. Of course, I had no concept of romantic vs. platonic or subtext or anything like that, but I did know this John Watson fellow really seems to spend a lot of time talking about Sherlock, and Mom always said you talk a lot about the people you like.  Honestly I still ship it.

2.) Hmm…Fred and Daphne from Scooby-Doo. I know it’s hinted with all the subtlety of a burning building, but as I got older I kind of fell away from the series and when I drifted back in every so often, it just never had the same appeal or finality it used to.

3.) Probably Clydi (Clyde/Heidi)? It doesn’t seem to have much of a following, at least none that I’ve found, and while it’s a recent ship of mine (borne purely out of a superhero au I’ve been tinkering with) I really like it. I think it’s a pairing that has a interesting dynamic, and I think Clyde is capable of being a good boyfriend when he’s genuinely invested. It would probably be more of a high school relationship, though; Heidi needs to stand on her own two feet for awhile again before she looks into dating.

4.) Kyman. Specifically when it’s played off as healthy and mutually desired. Until Cartman works through his issues (and the kid could keep an army of therapists in business for decades), he’s not capable of a healthy relationship in the long term—just look at what happened with Heidi. And I really hate everyone buying into intense hatred meaning there’s romantic attraction in there. It’s a dangerous bit of heterosexual/patriarchal thinking geared towards normalizing and romanticizing abusive relationships. Just because Cartman likes to pull Kyle’s pigtails and Kyle reacts does not mean there’s grounds for a relationship. I’ve given the ship a try, but it bothers me like hell when people sweep Cartman’s many issues under the rug (and at the same time feminize Kyle) in order to make it work. I’d much rather Kyle end up with someone who fully respects him and has no interest in tearing him down as a person.

5.) An underrated ship? Probably Amir and Shelly. Or Larry Feegan and Shelly. Those were really cute ships that only lasted an episode each. I really liked the storyline between Larry and Shelly; it was cute and wholesome and honest. And the one between Shelly and Amir was sweet and awkward, and very much like what you’d expect between a couple of twelve/thirteen-year-olds. I wouldn’t expected them to last into adulthood, especially since Larry’s dead but it would’ve been nice to see them last a bit longer than a single episode.

(Putting the headcanons under a read more because it’s fairly lengthy. There are a lot of kids in this show.)

(*) Stan: Gay. 100%, dyed-in-the-wool gay. Might experiment with genderfluidity for a bit in college, but would decide he’s most comfortably with a male identity and pronouns.

       Shelly: Bisexual. She’ll likely experiment a bit in college and find out she likes girls just a little bit more than guys. She’s also a cis-female.

Kyle: Gray-asexual, demi-romantic. Might identify as agender or as a demiboy as he gets older, but would likely still use male pronouns because it’s easier than having a discussion on gender identity every time pronoun usage comes up.

        Ike: 100% straight. The kid’s been obsessed with ‘taming strange’ since he was a damn toddler. He might go through a ‘bi-curious’ stage around high school or college, but he’ll definitely be more interested in women.

Cartman: Severely closeted homosexual who will spend his entire life insisting he’s straight. He’ll probably marry a woman and have a kid or two before it blows up in a messy divorce once he finally comes to terms with liking dick. Will also never stray from a cis-male gender identity, but will cross dress intermittently.

Kenny: Technically has three sets of sexualities and gender identities, since I headcanon him as having D.I.D. Kenny is a pansexual, panromantic, and agender. He doesn’t really feel much claim to a masculine or feminine identity, but like Kyle he sticks to male pronouns because it’s easier. Mysterion is a straight cis-male, and Princess Kenny is a pansexual, biromantic, transgirl.

        Kevin: Straight cis-male. Not that he ever really thinks too deeply on it, though.

        Karen: She’ll probably be either a cis-female or identify as a demigirl. Demisexual and heteroromantic.

Butters: Bisexual cis-male. I know a lot of people love transgirl!Butters (I do, too), but we’ve only ever seen Butters dressing as a girl in one episode. If anything, he’s effeminate, but very decidedly male.

Craig: Demisexual, homoromantic, and a demiboy. He doesn’t really think too much about how he identifies, but when he checks out an LGBT+ group on campus, he discovers a plethora of identities and picks out what seems to fit best and leave it at that.

       Tricia: Lesbian. Cis-female and up until the end of high school her style can be described as ‘baby butch’. (Or something like that; like, you can tell she really likes the butch aesthetic but her parents won’t let her accomplish the full look. I’m not certain if there’s an actual term for that.)

Tweek: 100% homosexual. The kid couldn’t be gayer if he tried. Cis-male and his aggressive, take-charge tendencies are kind of a huge turn-on for Craig.

Clyde: Heterosexual, biromantic, cis-male. He tries dating a couple of guys in college, but no matter how much he loves them, he’s just not in to sex with guys. He has a relationship with an asexual homoromantic guy that lasts for awhile, but it eventually ends on amicable terms.

Jimmy: 96% straight. Occasionally he’ll find a guy he likes, but Jimmy’s more interested in girls and doesn’t really think ‘bisexual’ applies to his tastes. Also a cis-male.

Token: 100% straight, incredibly traditional views of romance and relationships, and very firmly identifies as a guy.

Wendy: Bisexual, probably leans a bit more towards lesbian. Identifies as female, but doesn’t really feel a very strong connection with female pronouns.

Bebe: 100% lesbian. Demi-romantic, though, so actual relationships are rare for her. Very self-reliant and has a strong sense of self.

Red: 100% lesbian as well. Most likely goes through a dozen relationships throughout high school and college, will likely get engaged and married with her father firmly convinced she and her wife are just ‘gals being pals’. I headcanon her dad as Skeeter.)

Heidi: Hasn’t really thought about dating girls, tentatively considers herself bisexual since she doesn’t mind the idea of dating and having sex with girls, but doesn’t really act on it. Cis-female.

I think that’s everybody… at least everyone who gets an amount of screentime. If I forgot someone, let me know and I’ll give my two cents about them! :)