#it also could've been Dan and make more sense in some ways and less in others

[pseudophan]

nora can i just ask… WHAT was he thinking? how was that lie ever going to work when they were doing everything so publicly in 2009? sure you can delete stuff but he must have known it was still out there anyway right? isn’t it pointless to be like i didn’t watch his videos when he was commenting on the interactive adventures like his life depended on it ?? he was trying to convince people he just happened to be in manchester one day with a friend and he just saw phil ???? when we all saw you counting down the days to meeting each other online like WHAT

https://x.com/pinofdnp/status/1855973085771387187?s=46

tweet link (it's one of the infamous 'we met through a mutual friend' claims)

to be fair to them both, if the phandom wasn't as unhinged as it was (is) they could've gotten away with that lie. kind of. dan and phil are hardly pr experts but this isn't really too crazy a move, like yeah the people who know the truth will always know the truth but if you tell a lie enough times then in theory new fans, and people who just never looked into it, are gonna go with your version of events and not question it. the main issue for dan and phil specifically was that their fanbase was essentially built on and around speculation about their relationship and cataloguing any and all proof of it. new fans and casuals often believed the lie at first just because like, why wouldn't they, but the second they stepped foot into the phandom they obviously discovered the not-so-hidden truth, because you didn't have to be a shipper or be looking for Phan Proof in order to come across it, all you had to do is search dan and phil on literally any website with a prominent phannie presence

to their credit they seemed to realise it wasn't gonna work pretty quickly, they abandoned the 'mutual friend' story almost immediately it feels like. then they went with the 'yeah we met online but we met up to collaborate' angle but i kind of feel like they didn't go too hard on that one, probably because they had finally started to learn that Oh My God Say Less Please Say Less Always Say Less Stop Talking Jesus Christ. like by far the most damning part of the clip in the tweet is dan insisting on being like "a lot of people seem to think-" about the actual truth like girl why would you plant that idea in the heads of those who hadn't heard it before. just say you met through a mutual friend and move on like fbsdhjfbdjksf. also at that point they kinda didn't give a fuck anymore, by the time they gave that infamous editing tips interview in 2015 they had long since abandoned trying to convince anyone they didn't meet because dan was an amazingphil fan and desperately wanted to befriend him because of it. the only part they were trying to hide at that point i would say was the whole y'know, fucking and sucking of it all

this whole reply is way too rambly and idk if it makes sense but i guess my point is IF dan and phil had a more casual core viewerbase (and also didn't give up on the lie immediately. and dan was less blatantly defensive about it) they probably could have made it work in the long run, even with the amount of evidence against it. i would go as far as to say that if not every then at least nearly every single influencer/celebrity/public figure of any kind have readily available information about them out there that most people, even fans of theirs, don't know about literally just because they wouldn't think to search for it. like how often does a Major Scandal break about some celeb and some people in the comments are like yea this has been known since 2004 everyone just stopped talking about it, lmao. not that dnp being gay for each other is a scandal but you know what i mean

basically they started telling that lie just as their popularity skyrocketed and i guess the hope was that the massive influx of new people would allow them to rewrite history, but alas...

[kendrixtermina]

Another thing where Chibnall fucked up is that unlike previous showrunners, he never really tried to sell us on the companions as important deuteragonists who have cool stories in their own right.

I mean the classics sometimes had the problem that they would come up with cool character concepts but then under-utilize them / not think of anything better to with them than having the villains kidnap them again, but still it was attempted to have them be interesting & contrasting, for example they would follow up a sour snarky character with a cheerful one.

And in the pre-chibnall new series in particular, they've always had distinctive dynamics planned-out arcs. You couldn't swap one new series companion for another & still get the same episode. They were damn near the main characters.

With most of the companions we've had so far you could say what they'll do if you throw them at a given situation:

Donna would stay grounded & look for the common sense solution, Rose would usually comfort someone who's upset & discover crucial info that way, Martha would keep a cool head, start trying to puzzle things out and try to help, Clara would take charge & try to get the situation under control, Amy would just charge into it based on intuition, Rory would remain unfazed, tag along but also point out the danger, Bill would be curious and voice some unusual question or observation...

What do Yaz, Graham, Ryan or Dan do? Mostly just make corny jokes & follow the Doctor around, defaulting to whatever she does... You could swap 90% of their lines with none the wiser cause it exists mostly to prompt exposition while failing to imbue it with meaning & stakes..

They rarely ever act of their own accord, make important, plot-changing decisions or even react much to what happens to them. Nor do they really get one on one scenes with the Doctor or bond emotionally (except Ryan and Graham, sometimes, in the stiffest, corniest way possible), and no just having the characters TELL us they like each other is no substitute.

And if the characters don't seem to care, well, the viewers won't care either.

Even the Yaz having a lesbian crush thing which you'd think would be a really big aspect of her character, was apparently a suggestion by Mandip & Whittaker themselves, which means that Chibs had absolutely no plan for his characters expect just being... there, until it was time for them to go. So little plan he could just throw in a major thing like that. I mean I'm glad he did cause else it would have been ever blander, but still.

You'd think that with a big group of characters you could flesh them out by having them disagree about what to do, play different roles and react in contrasting ways, but that idea never occurred to Chibnall.

Let's compare the introduction of the "fam" to... not even the new series, but the very first serial from the 60s. Some aspects of it seem dated in hindsight, I could've done without the screaming & the Red Indian line, but still all four main characters are distinctly established & make meaningful decisions. The story would not turn out the same without any of them present:

Barbara is introduced as being worried about a student & shown to be responsible & intuitive. She decides that they should check on Susan, and later that they should save the caveman rather than just escape, more or less setting the story in motion.

Ian is introduced as brave, unflappable and inquisitive. He's the one who proposes taking bold action, moving the plot forward, but he is also more calm about it the whole time & continues to do so in a scary unfamiliar situation.

The First Doctor is introduced giving nonsense answers and trying to bullshit his way out of a situation. We see that he is quite cocky & guarded, but also tends to think his way out of situation. While he tends to respond to fear & pressure by bluffing, we see that he is still frightened underneath. (it is when he admits this that we get the first bonding moment between him & Barbara) His contributions to the plot are to take off with the teachers on board (half to avoid being discovered & half cause he's offended they don't believe he had a spaceship), and then later he solves the caveman murder.

Susan is shown to be quite smart, but also very timid, and she describes her time hiding out on earth as the happiest in her life, showing that she would maybe prefer a quieter, more stable life than the one she leads. She's probably the most passive character, seeing as she's the youngest, but since she likes and trusts both the teachers and the Doctor, she's essential to keep the group together until everyone else starts trusting each other.

Note that at no point does anyone say "Ian is brave & unflappable" or "Barbara is responsible & intuitive", rather we are shown, not told.

Now, what are we told about the fam, and just as important, how are we told?

Yaz wants more challenges than her job offers. We are told this because she just states it out loud.

Ryan & Graham don't get along, but Graham would like them to. We know this because Graham explicitly tells us.

Ryan is frustrated because despite ppl's encouragement, his disability presents real limits. We know because he tells us so.

..okay? Kinda unsubtle delivery, but it's a start. All of this could have potential if it's developed more, especially the last thing. You could make interesting characters with these basic points.

But what happens then?

The plot is advanced not by character decisions, but by a bunch of random coincidences: The Doctor just crashes into them, Ryan just happens upon the onion, Yaz just happens to be on duty when he calls etc.

The main characters learn that they've been implanted with bombs... and barely react. Ryan reacts more when his phone is erased for the sake of a "phone obssessed millenial" joke than to learning he's about to die.

Imagine if they had Ryan complain about how he'll die & that is yet another unfair thing in his life, or: Graham chooses at this moment to act protective on Ryan. Or: Yaz tries to keep a cool head & control the situation, maybe having some friction with the Doctor's attempts to do the same but also impressing her. Just gimme any character/emotion, Chris!

Notice how they show Ryan having a youtube channel... and it's the blandest, most generic thing ever. This was THE opportunity to characterize him: What videos does he watch, what videos does he make, does he have a distinct username? No, it's just his name with some numbers. They just wanted the video framing device, so he has a youtube, but they don't think about what it says about him.

Remember for example, how Clara picked 'Oswin' as an username (short for Oswald for the Win), & how this shows that she is confident and a bit vain.

Now imagine if they had Ryan pick something with a relatable downtrodden millenial vibe, or had him reference internet culture. Just anything that characterizes him in any way.

When we get character scenes at all they feel sort of tacked on & removed from the plot, like the plot stops 5 minutes for Ryan & Graham to have a scene, and while the plot is happening everyone becomes a plank of wood walking from location to location.

That's the worst thing to do, especially in sci fi when you have wild fantastic things happening! The plot and the characters should always be connected: The plot is made to challenge the characters, and the characters reactions give the plot weight.

Any time a Dalek showed up in RTD's run, everyone panicked, even the normally level-headed characters - and that's how they sold that these pepperpots are a big deal. Donna being needed to save the universe is designed as a counterpoint to her self-esteem issues. Martha has a problem with prioritizing herself, so the plot throws her in taxing situations untill she realizes that she can't keep doing this.

We care about River meeting the Doctor out of order because she emotes about it. We would care much less about the puddle person if she wasn't Bill's girlfriend trying to keep her promise. We wouldn't care as much about the timecrack if it hadn't eaten Amy's fiancé. As phantastical as the impossible girl thing is, on the character level it has a pretty simple meaning: The Doctor owes clara a debt & wants to thank her but is also suspiciou cause he's jaded from past losses, and we then explore how his character responds to this situation.

In Chibnall's writing, this connection is absent, and so neither the plot nor the characters manage to really land emotionally. So much ppl stopped watching cause it was just bland flavorless & not exciting anymore.

[artbribery]

Pariah Dark is turned into a toddler and entrusted to the care of the Ghost King aka Danny.

He can’t keep him in Amity or the Realms so he goes to the next best choice: Gotham.

I originally thought about it with Pariah “PD” Dark as the toddler and with Danny being the tired single dad following his child, fixing his messes and giving apologies.

But Danny is so tired that it doesn’t even register to him that what he just apologized for was actually a Red Alert emergency for the Bats. 

An unearthly screaming ringing in Gotham, an eldritch being took the entire town into another dimension. 

An emergency in which Danny just went up there to the source of the screaming, crouched down, full named him and gently but firmly told him to put it back like he caught him with his toddler hands in the cookie jar. 

And then everything went back to normal. 

Just like that.

(This next part is shitposting)

A few minutes earlier(?)

I am a vigilante doing a stake-out at the farmers' market in Gotham. They sell a huge variety of stuff, including fresh shrimp. Today a toddler walked by the shrimp cooler and started chanting "SHRIMP! HEAVEN! NOW!", emphasis on the "NOW!". Eventually leading his father to say "Please PD, we can't keep doing this." What is Shrimp Heaven? Why does PD need it now? What are my responsibilities in this situation, if any? I'm confused and delighted by this sloganeering child, but I fear something darker may lay under the surface.

[alittledizzy]

im jus gonna say while i personally do think phil was referring to dan w the people spending the nights comment. Pretty sure phil lived at home during the summers while at uni 🤷🏻‍♀️there def could've been other guys, and honestly like I hope there was! Like get some phil!

So my logic there is that if he was afraid to be out to his friends at home while he was in uni then he probably wasn’t bringing guys around home or sleeping with guys from his home town either? Like, I’m sure Phil embraced his sexuality at uni, I’m not arguing that at all - just specifically in terms of him being in a situation where he was active enough with a guy in their presence that his parents connected the dots... I feel like it built there. 

On a semi-related note: My timeline theory at the moment is that his hometown friend outed him in early or mid 2009 and the positive reception to that just led to him generally feeling more confident about it. I do not believe Phil was openly out to his youtube or social media audience prior to 2009 (to his actual close friends in the youtube circle, totally, just don’t think he was living as an out gay man in terms of youtube in a less immediate personal way) because his school friends and even his brother followed him on twitter. His projected sexuality was, at best, ambiguous based on a lack of reference to dating in general... until 2009. That’s when he started talking about wanting to date both on twitter and on youtube, increasingly so as he and Dan got closer, and then the mild pining over wanting to be with someone stopped and suddenly there was Dan. 

So to me it makes sense that whatever sexuality exploration he did at university was something separate from what he had going on that tipped his parents off. Also just knowing who Phil is as a person, it’s easier for me to believe that he would not be bringing home random guys in front of his parents but would absolutely bring home someone he felt a deep connection with and was just wanting to be spending all his time with. He’s so close to his family that wanting Dan to also be around his family makes sense to me, and his parents picking up cues from that also just.... fits right in my head.

[paradisobound]

Let’s Party

Summary: A party that Phil doesn’t want to go to? check. A night of surprises? also check. And finding unexpected feelings for a friend? Triple check. 

Warnings: small mentions of alcohol consumption. This is all smut (not hardcore smut but it's got the themes), so if that’s not what you like, you can skip!

Word Count: 1,738

Read this on Ao3 (x)!

“If you didn’t want to come here, then why did you?” 

“Because Dan dragged me here.” 

That was the extent of Phil’s conversations following the arrival at some college frat party that Dan had dragged him to. He knew that he didn’t want to go, but when Dan told him he needed a designated driver at the end of the night, Phil knew he couldn’t just let Dan go alone. 

He knew how Dan got sometimes. 

But the thing is that Phil graduated from college nearly two years ago, and here Dan is in his first year. And Phil would be damned if he said he didn’t feel old being in such an environment. 

He drank slow sips of a beer, only drinking about half before thinking that it was a bad idea to be hooked on it further, and leaving the can alone somewhere in the living room where he watched some girl pick it up and chug it. He rolled his eyes and sighed. There was a reason why he never enjoyed these things. 

He kind of wished that Dan would have stayed around. But the minute they both stepped foot into the house, Dan pat Phil’s arm and told him he’d see him around. And now, he was no where to be found. 

Phil was almost tempted to look around for him, and find him, and take him home. Namely, Phil himself just wanted to go home. He was sick of the loud music, the thick crowds, and the excessiveness of drunk people. 

But, he decided he needed to go outside for a moment. To get some fresh air and hopefully go somewhere that people aren’t. He found a narrow gap in the crowd and slipped through, breaking through the people and towards the door. He opened it just in time to have some guy bust through and vomit right in front of him. 

Yeah, Phil was ready to just go get Dan and leave. 

He went to turn back around when he noticed he was sandwiched between the shut door and the crowd. So his really only option would be to just head out the door and see if Dan was outside first. So he turned and exited the house. 

He cut around the side, by a group of guys doing a keg stand, and headed towards the back of the house. He noticed less and less people as he headed around the side, and sighed in content when he reached the back of the house and noticed the crowd was completely scattered. 

But to no avail, Dan wasn’t around. 

He continued around the side and saw a door that was open that led back inside the house. So he walked to the door and headed off back into the crowd of people, much to his dismay. 

He stopped on the way in by an old friend by the name of PJ. He was standing against a window inside, a cup in his hand, and a look of annoyance on his face. Phil looked spotted him and PJ waved him down. 

“What are you doing here?” PJ asked with a laugh, “I don’t remember you ever enjoying parties.” 

“I don’t,” Phil answered back smoothing his hair away from his forehead, “But Dan needed a DD so I thought why not.” 

PJ nodded, “Chris needed one too but I haven’t seen him since we arrived.” 

“Same with Dan.” 

PJ looked around and furrowed his brows, “Oh, Dan’s over there with some guy.” 

For some particular reasoning, Phil’s heart stuttered it’s beat in his chest and he felt a hitch of breath. Sure, Dan and him weren’t anything more than friends, but he hated seeing Dan with other people. In the short time he’s known Dan, he just cannot stand the sight of Dan being with someone else. 

And sure, if someone were to ask Phil if he felt something other than a friendship towards Dan, he wouldn’t like. He would say yes. Because he would give anything to have his friends attention for reasons that are romantic. 

“He’s been with the guy most of the night,” PJ continued on, “I don’t know who the guy is though, but they’ve been clinging to each other.” 

Phil nodded and sighed, “Maybe I should go and get him before he does something he’ll regret.” 

“Just don’t get too interruptive,” PJ said with a smirk, “No one likes a cock block.” 

Phil nodded and watched for Dan, who was now trailing through the crowd with the guys arm around him. Dan appeared to be leaning into him, and Phil didn’t know if it was because he was too drunk to stand or he was doing that on purpose. 

But Phil found himself following Dan. 

Dan winded down a hallway with this guy and sure enough, they entered into a vacant room, but the door was only partly shut. Phil got to the door and was ready to get Dan when he heard something that made him stop. 

Peeking through the crack of the door, he saw Dan on his knees in front of the guy. And the guy was naked from the waist down. Phil gasped, feeling like he was intruding on something so intimate. But he knew it was just a one night stand. 

Dan began to suck the guy, moving his mouth up and down the guys length. Phil found his pants suddenly tightening and a heat forming in his stomach. And he found himself watching. 

He watched as Dan continued to blow this man and give him pleasure that the man was quite clearly enjoying from the loud moans that were not being filtered. Phil’s hand had found its way into his jeans as he grabbed himself and relieved a small amount of pleasure 

And then the man was holding Dan’s head in place and Dan was choking softly. Phil watched in disbelief as Dan pulled off and wiped his face quickly before the man grabbed him and pulled him on his lap as he kissed him senseless. 

But then Dan stopped the man, and pushed him away. They whispered a few things to one another when the man got up and began heading towards the door. Phil suddenly moved away from the door and hid as the man exited the room. 

Phil decided that he needed to find a bathroom where he could get some much needed relief himself when the door opened and he heard it, “Phil!” 

It was his name, and definitely Dan’s voice. 

Phil walked closer to the door and saw Dan sitting on the edge of the bed. He was swinging his legs and smirking at him, “Phil, I know you were watching.” 

Phil felt his face heat up as he thought of an excuse on what he could tell Dan to make it not seem the way it was, “I…” 

Dan smiled at him and crooked a finger towards him, “It’s okay,” he said now patting the bed next to him, “Shut the door behind you and come over here.” 

Phil complied and shut the door, slowly walking over the bed where Dan was sat. He was in front of Dan when Dan grabbed his hips and yanked him forwards. Within seconds, Dan’s hands were working over Phil’s jeans and undoing them as his painful erection strained against his boxers. 

“You sure seemed to like watching me blow Mike,” Dan said biting his lip, “Wanna get the same experience?” 

It was at those words that everything cleared up for Phil and his senses clicked, “Dan,” he said grabbing his wrist, “We can’t. You’re my best friend.” 

Dan looked up at him and smiled, “I’ve been wanting you for so long,” he cooed, “God, Phil, you’re so attractive and I just want you so badly.” 

“But you’re drunk.” 

“I haven’t drank a drop of liquor tonight because I wanted this to be a way for us to connect with each other,” he said with a sigh, “I’ve been feeling like you don’t like me and I thought that maybe if I got you to a party where I could loosen you up, we could…you know…and then I could express my feelings and everything would be okay.” 

“You could've done that,” Phil said looking down at him, “Because I really like you, Dan.” 

“You do?” He asked with a hopeful look. 

Phil nodded, “Yes, Dan, I do.” 

Dan smiled brightly before suddenly palming Phil through his boxers, leaving Phil to grasp, “Now,” Dan said, “How about we consummate our newly found feelings?” 

“Only if you feel okay about this,” Phil said, reaching down and petting Dan’s hair. 

Dan didn’t answer with words, but his swift motion of yanking down Phil’s boxers and exposing his hard length into the open air was answer enough. 

Phil couldn’t believe the skills that Dan had. He was simply amazing at what he was doing and god damn, Phil would be lying if he said he didn’t want—no need—this all the time with Dan. 

Sadly, everything was done just as fast it had started. Mostly because Phil was already close and Dan’s mouth was just so amazing. The way he could take him all the way without a single hesitation, and the way his hot wet heat of a mouth was just the right everything. He was shooting down Dan’s throat and Dan swallowed around him. 

Phil slowly dislodged himself from Dan’s mouth and looked down at him, “Do you need any help?” He asked, motioning to Dan’s pants. 

Dan shook his head, “Nah,” he said with a blush creeping up his cheeks, “I kind of finished when you did.” 

Phil smiled down at him and did something he wasn’t quite expecting to do anytime soon. He kissed Dan. And Dan kissed him back. It was nothing huge and nothing heated, but it was enough to leave them both smiling afterwords. 

As they exited the room, after they had stayed back and ridden their highs together, Phil found himself looking around and seeing PJ. PJ winked at him and so he winked back. Dan noticed this and jabbed Phil’s side with a laugh. 

Once in the car, Phil in the drivers side and Dan in the passengers side, he began to drive off when Dan suddenly spoke up. 

“So…wanna continue this at home?” 

Phil smiled to himself. 

Yes, yes he certainly did.