#it almost feels shameful to delete but i was like 13 and a lot of this is embarrassing LOK

[06-archive]

jist logged into my old blog to repurpose it so i can move this is such a time capsule of pre pandemic me

[steampoweredskeleton]

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Ignore

[yestrday]

HI IM like... fixating on ur hybrid au rn so I apologize for the influx of hybrid asks (if they get annoying, feel free to just delete idm!!) 😭 but I really adore the thought and consideration you put into world building !! I belive u enjoy world building from some previous asks of the academy au, so I think it's really nice to see u so consistent with world building across multiple au's !! although there's only one part of the hybrid au rn, I'm excited to learn more about the estate that mc and their hybrids live at !! like wooow their backyard and gardens must be massive considering they turned a portion of it into something that resembled kazuha's homeland, and there must be a big lake nearby since the other hybrids sometimes gets rocks to show to mc and aether !! (I wonder if that's a hint for maybe some aquatic hybrids.. hmm?) and the fact mc seems so estranged from social civilization must imply that they live in a very remote location with lots of space and little interaction. (and perhaps that could also explain why the boys were wary of kuni when he first showed up.. bc who would come to a remote location and ask for shelter??)

I did have one question though, since there is a loooot of genshin boys to be added, I'm curious about how the living situation works? room-wise, I mean. is our mc's villa THAT big that each hybrid can have a room to claim as theirs and sleep comfortably (or maybe they have to share with one another hejehdje BUT its also possible they just take turns sleeping with mc lol) or did mc perhaps have to build extensions to their main villa or even separate, mini houses entirely, to accommodate for the many hybrids (also, I wonder if any of their rooms have special features that cater specifically to their hybrid forms?)

ooh and another thing!! while I'm sure most of the boys' obsession with mc and their yandere tendencies started to become more prominent after living with mc, I also find it interesting how multiple of them stalked watched mc for a little while before making themselves known and asking to take part in actually living with them !!

and on a more minor note, as im sure it doesn't contribute much to the actual story, I am partially curious as to what mc's family do and why they're such a target for competition and sabotage :o

(sorry if this is a lot (╥﹏╥) I got a little enthusiastic about it, and seeing that you're kind of active I figured I'd ramble :P)

mc's mansion is situated upon a hill and its surrounding land. it's big enough to be almost considered a villa, and it's legally under their father's name. it was built when they were younger, think 12 or 13, after the father realizes what an easy target mc could be if he let them live in the city. it used to be just one building with a small lake at the back, but as more hybrids came, the more renovations happened. mc had the head butler submit these requests to their father, and since money isn't an issue, these came easily.

the hybrids don't actually have an officiated claimed room to them. most of them don't have their own things, so there's no real need to store things. only the rather picky ones have claimed a bedroom to themselves, much preferring a bed to their natural habitat.

ayato, for example, has picked out a room to himself and has lived there ever since neuvillette moved into the lake. he actually much prefers it that way, although it's a bit of a shame since he was the first inhabitant of the lake.

other hybrids that sleep in rooms are zhongli and xiao, who sleep in his office. aether, who sleeps with you. scara and haitham, who are often found in the library. albedo and occassionally tighnari, who decided it would be much more efficient if they just slept in the lab.

kazuha is usually found sleeping in a tree found in the part of the garden that you renovated for him. the first tree that you met him in, actually. the other hybrids sleep like this. they pick out a part of the mansion where they feel most comfortable in and sleep there. the avian hybrids (minus scara) have made themselves comfortable in high places, the lake is obviously home to the aquatic hybrids, and the garden is home to hybrids like foxes, dogs, etc.

there's only one room that's been renovated specifically for your hybrids, and it's a cold room underground that replicates the arctic. it's for your ice-affiliated hybrids! after the head maid had found them snoozing in the kitchen near— even in!— the fridge, she chased them out. out of pity, you decided to submit a renovation request to make them an icy room. it's a lot of electricity, but it also doubles as an ice storage room that you guys sell to the village below as well as a storage room for the scientists' experiments.

lastly, mc's family is the owner of many corporations under one company. think of the chaebols in korea. they're that powerful. mc's father is the ceo, so you can imagine how knee deep he is in corruption and complicated entanglements.

[adonis-koo]

When I started binge reading Wicked many, many months ago, I sent in very long detailed asks almost every single day for each chapter as I was reading it. And I don't recall any of them getting answered. Maybe one or two. When I review a story or a chapter, sometimes it takes me like 45 minutes to put all my thoughts into an ask. I spend a lot of time on it. Eventually I started to realize I was wasting all that time sending in asks when they weren't being responded to. I was looking for the interaction with you. I wanted to have conversations about the story. It was very disappointing to me, and I felt like my thoughts and feelings on each chapter weren't wanted. So I stopped after awhile and just binge read the rest of it to bring me current with your last update. I think it stopped on Chapter 12 or 13. I left likes as I always do. I'm pretty sure I reblogged it at some point. So now I'm kind of confused that you're asking for readers to send in asks but mine never got responded to for some reason. I know tumblr eats asks, but it couldn't have eaten every single one of mine. Like I said, I was sending in asks just about every single day. I hope this ask doesn't come off as harsh, but I wanted to let you know how frustrated I was when I first started reading and it didn't seem like you had any interest in interacting with me. I very much enjoy talking with writers about their stories.

While it may have left a bad taste in my mouth, I still continue to read Wicked, and I have loved every single second of it. It's one of my favorite stories on tumblr. I am more than happy to go back to reviewing all your chapters. But it would be nice to see my asks responded to. Just like you as a writer crave interaction with your readers, I as a reader crave interaction with the writers of the stories I'm reading. There is nothing better to me than having a conversation about a story I love. So if you're interested in interacting with me on future chapters, let me know, and I will happily go back to reviewing.

First of all, I would like to truly apologize for not replying to your asks, I did dig a little and I was only able to find one ask that is an absolute shame to not respond too, as I had an entire reply in my head and was very excited to answer, but I can only assume I got caught up with something else that demanded my attention (outside of this blog), I do remember answering your asks before and can only assume some may have been eaten.

Here’s the thing; my blog vastly swings between an overwhelming number of people interacting to absolutely no interaction at all, I have very few people (and I heavily appreciate those who I do have) who consistently send in asks whom go by an alias or an actual blog that I can identify as regular. It’s just being jarring to watch, because then it makes me wonder if my chapter wasn’t well received, or the quality declined, or anything and everything that could make one chapter blow up and the very next a week later, completely bomb.

I have become very conscious of asks slipping through the cracks, and I’ve tried the last three or so chapters to make a conscious effort to answer everything single one before I post another chapter, to try and make sure nobody is feeling left out or slipping through the cracks.

I would also like to mention that me vocalizing this issue entirely excludes people who have reblogged my work, even if someone has only ever sent in one ask for an entire series is completely acceptable for me, just something. And even if I never do respond to asks just know that I never delete them because I’m a sentimental person and I still become nostalgic and go back and re-read them like it’s my first time receiving them.

I will always appreciate and feel the love of someone when they send me their words about how I personally impacted them with my writing and I will always cherish it, even if I end up forgetting to reply, or it somehow got stuck in my draft because I never fully finished my thought, or if it was buried and unable to be answered before the next chapter was posted. I cherish, every, single, one.

I am truly sorry that you felt frustrated and had a bitter taste in your mouth for me as a writer, it truly wasn’t my intention. That being said, I don’t really feel like I’m entitled to ask you to start reviewing my work again when my lack of consistency was the reason you stopped.

And when I think about it, I guess I don’t really have the entitlement to ask anyone to interact with me, after all, this is a hobby I do for free, I have to continually remind myself that this is something I chose to do because I want too, not because I have too.

I truly do thank you for the support you’ve sent to me and I really am sorry that I disappointed you as a reader, I hope you continue to enjoy Wicked and I appreciate that you spoke about your experience to me ❤️

[ffwriteradvisor]

Just remembered I went on a small research trip on the subject of Tenshi no Fuu (if you were in the One Piece fandom around 2010-2014, you had a pretty good idea of who that was) last year but jesus, the real story is a mess.

Because like, if you go looking for posts about Fuu, you get people talking about how it's good that 'she' disappeared. About how annoying her Sue of a character was. All that good shit /s.

I remembered those bits, though I didn't interact with the original story at the time. By the time I decided I wanted to see what the fuss was about (rather than rely on the second hand opinions of others), the original fics were deleted and the ffnet page was long dead, with only a mention of a hiatus and real life getting in the way of the team (yep, 11-13 people were working on this fic at one point, including Real!Fuu, though her... position on the team is... something else) working together to really show.

But that's what the WayBackMachine is for. And let me say, that it revealed a lot. [caps + transcripts + a Whole Lot More under the cut]

(cap of the ffnet page circa Jan 30, 2012)

[Transcript: certain excerpts bolded for emphasis, typos left as is]

[Transcript starts]

[Okay, well... yeah, it can be a bit confusing to know who is 'hiding' behind the pseudo TenshiNoFuu, so let's try and explain it a bit...

We're a group of people (guys, by the way... and already in our twenties in case you would wonder...) who kind of 'kidnapped' one of our friends - Real!Fuu - to send her without her consent in One Piece (because it just more fun without it).

She loves Shoujo mangas, dislike fights and have no sense of humor (literally...) but she's still an amazing girl who knows about a lot of things and is always ready to help people, without falling in the disgusting overly-sweet type of people... Smart but dense, charming but unpretending, gifted yet unsecure... Just the type of people whose feelings are showing on her face and whose expressions remind you of a manga character while she doesn't even realize it... The type of person who never let anyone indifferent (either in the bad or the good sense) and who just makes you marvel that a real human can be sincerely like that. She's just that type of person, kind of... But the most amazing part about her is that she's making very realistic dreams and remember them perfectly when waking up, and the funny bit was that she's been dreaming about One Piece a couple of times, even though she disliked it at first...

Her first dream happened long before we got interested in the story, during summer holidays when she was travelling back home to meet up with her family. Her brother is a damned good fan-fiction author passionate about One Piece (if you can read French, do check him out, he supports LuNa, is a hard-core protector of canon story-line and makes well-rounded stories http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1552380/Clowsama ) and she's been proofreading his stories for years, even though she knew nothing of One Piece back then (and was quite determined about not reading it...). Anyway, she dreamt that her brother was sending her into One Piece to punish her for making fun of it (we definitely support the idea, heehee...) and her brother found this story so funny he decided to publish it.

When she talked about it to us, we thought it was a shame she still didn't like One Piece even though she could dream of it, remember it and almost live it alive even though we're a lot of fans dying to see One Piece even when going to bed. So we kind of made a One Piece cram school for her, telling her everything about OP and hoping to show her how awesome it is. But as a result, she just ended up making another dream about it and that the very same morning (early night for us, something like 4 o'clock a.m) a very special chapter was released in Japan (with the time difference).

Can you seriously imagine a non One Piece fan who barely learnt about Marine Ford Arc making a foretelling dream the 10th of February 2010...? A nightmare where she ended up on a scaffold, meeting up with a character the only thing she knew about him was that he was Luffy's brother (even though we had told her who was his real father), causing a huge mess on the battlefield and finally waking up in tears after having left the dream seeing Ace going to fight against Akainu... Waking up in tears... Even checking up the raw chapter on the web (she can read Japanese, that helps... or rather at that time, she cursed it...)... She forecasted this huge bomb Eiichiro Oda dropped on Chapter 474!

So we decided!

Just no way we're going to let someone as interesting as that miss how wonderful One Piece world is, heehee... So we took charge of making her fall in love with this wonderful universe created by Eiichiro Oda, and little by little, guided by the stories of the dreams she had had of One Piece in the past, we came to think she would make a great OC. We grouped her little dreams into Story I. and developped her nightmare into Story II. It was supposed to be no more than two stories, but upon seeing her face when she was telling us about what had happened at Marine Ford, it makes us wonder... If it was to happen to someone important to you, until which point would you go to protect your friend (or here your sister) from despair? How much of this world or of another one would you be ready to change?

So well, regardless of what Fuu thought at the time, we decided it could be only logical for this Story to continue, and we decided to 'use' her to definitely change an aspect of the original scenario which made us sulk at that time: the outcome of Marine Ford War... (sure, now that we reflect on it, it was canon and needed, but you can't help but cringe at it at first...) And now, after multiples debates, ideas and battles, we're here on FFN publishing the story and managing this fanfiction account while she gradually accepted her fate and is helping us out with illustrations on DA...

So in the end, you can call us TenshiNoFuu too or KageNoFuu since we're not planning on leaving our comfortable spot in the shadows (just too bothersome at first, and after a while, considering there're a bunch of despicable people out there, it's more efficient for assassination missions to stay hidden... because for the ones it can interest, we're not a tenth as nice as Fuu...)]

[Transcript ends]

That's right. This group of 'friends' decided to throw so much of a thing that this girl wasn't interested in at her that she had literal nightmares. Because she had a dream they thought was funny. And then they decided to write 'romantic' fic about it. Yeah.

And then there's the updated profile from 2013

[Transcript starts:]

[!!! TEAM WORK = TenshiNoFuu is a team of several people !!!

Little change in admin team so some clean-up is done:

Author Team = 3 people (but 2 of them busy with real life) 1 new main author (just arrived, warning, not nice at all) 5-7 freelance readers/advisers 1 proof-reader/victim-model 1 guest-star

Readers Stats = more than 165.000 visits since the first release 315 favourites (that says it all for anyone a little fact oriented and not rumour oriented)

Haters Stats = a handful who didn't find anything better to do these past 4 years than stalk/bash/heavily promote this fic a bunch of mindless followers who repeat the same arguments without even double-checking if some of them are true or not... (share a prayer for them, they're beyond salvation at that point)

Background Story = Real!Fuu REALLY has a famous LuNa fanfic-author for a brother; she was REALLY not fan of OP; she REALLY dreamt about falling into OP (story I); she then met the 3 original authors who tried to convert her and provoked the other dream about Marine Ford that REALLY happened the night of release of Ch.474 (story II); she is REALLY NOT the author and didn't even like this fic at the beginning (and seeing the magnet for galactic haters it is, no wonder she didn't like it afterwards); but she REALLY is stubborn and will put others before herself so this little group continued to publish despote the haters because they had fun writing the story and there's no way sensible people will back-up on what they like just because of some childish/rantish/jealous/bitchy/egocentric people who believe the entire internet/world should revolve around things they approve of (raise your hand if you already faced a 7-year-old brat telling you he/she hates carrots thus carrots should be erradicated from the world, same concept).

Self-Parody = Clow and the original authors actually disliked OCs (most common use of OC in fanfics) and like to put some parody/paradoxical cliches in the fic through Fuu's attributes or point of view. Cookies for the readers who actually saw it in the undertone; Hugs for the readers who actually like it as much as us!

Reviews & PMs = PMS welcome, anonymous reviews will just be blocked/deleted if you don't have the guts to come and talk to our face (and having decent argumentation to support your claims)

Sue-Witch-Hunting = Like to read this story, tell us; Would like some improvement/details/explanation, message us; Find the story is not interesting, drop reading it; Come and tell us, why not but no care; Come and ask us to write for your OC, sorry no won't do; Come and start a debate about Sue, just go back to square one to buy yourself a basic kit about fiction-writing and decent-critique and we'll talk later.

Hiatus = new main author is there and will resume new chapter after common planning of future Arcs with rest of the team. Expect more chapters from now on!

SORRY FOR THE 1 YEAR HIATUS. SOME IN THE AUTHOR TEAM BECAME DADDY AND THAT'S THE BEST EXCUSE EVER TO GET BACK TO REAL LIFE! THANKS TO ALL OUR NORMAL READERS WHO DIDN'T FORGET US! HOPE YOU'LL ENJOY FOLLOWING THIS ADVENTURE AS MUCH AS WE ENJOY WRITING IT!!!]

[Transcript end.]

According to this, about the only thing that looked like it was under Fuu's control was the DeviantArt account which, while the documented drama there (concerning art trades, as far as I can find) isn't great either (and there's no clue as to who headed up the youtube channel - yes, there's a youtube channel), it really pales in comparison to what this 'team' of friends decided to do for fun... which I think is fairly well summarized by this review from Psychic Monkey Mafia (also circa 2012)

[Transcript starts:]

[So a friend of mine told me to check out this fanfiction, they happen to be a fan of it and said that I should check it out as a fan of One Piece. I also heard a lot of good things about this fic, so I really tried to approach this in a positive light. Look, I am sorry, but this is honestly one of the creepiest fics that I've ever seen. For the life of me I cannot tell what the hell is going on. The canon characters are really out of character, they are practically helpless half of the time, and what they are doing makes little sense. Could you actually explain what's going on? Having creative liberty over characterizations normally is okay, but I can barely recognize any of these people. It's like watching a week marathon of the 4Kids dub versions of them. Also Ace in this story is an absolute creepy ass scumbag that deserves to be shot, hung, and stabbed for good measure. I'm sorry, but the way he's written, he is a real pig, along with most of the men in this fic. I really don't see how the hell this is supposed to be romantic, it's really sexist to both genders and it is really sad. Also if this really was written by a group of 'friends' of the real Fuu, I seriously think you need to consider getting some new friends, because the way they wrote you is awful and damn near spiteful. I'd like to think that you as a person deserve better much than that. I really hope that one day you would consider rewriting this, because despite its faults, there does seem to be potential for an interesting story.]

[Transcript ends]

It's a pretty polite review for how awful a picture it paints. The problem with Tenshi No Fuu, it seems, is less of the concept and more in the people who wrote it, and that group doesn't seem to actually include the girl who gets all the blame from people.

[rocksandmirrors]

thanks for the tag <3

(also disclaimer: while this is a TOH blog, i've written other stuff as well and will talk about it)

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 

31 so far, i used to have more but deleted a lot of them (out of shame + during a period where ao3 fics were stolen and reposted on another website and i freaked out about it)

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 

136,340 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

currently a lot of TOH, but i've written for Sanders Sides, Luca and Danganronpa before!! i still want to post a couple unfinished fics from some of these medias

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Pay Attention - Sanders Sides (Virgil x Remus x Janus) (i'm not linking this one fuck you)

Cleanse Us, Acid Rain - The Owl House (Gustholomule)

One More Ride - The Owl House (Gustholomule)

Italicized Oh - The Owl House

Revenge - The Owl House (Gustholomule)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 

of course!!! i'm a little slow at it (laziness and forgetfulness is a deadly combo) but i love answering comments as much as i love receiving them <3

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i struggled to choose, but probably Bat Country. my man Steve's going through some shit rn

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i'm not 100% sure if that counts, but i was thinking of Lack (not TOH). it's the closest i have to a happy ending imo

8. Do you get hate on fics?

never quite hate, just unwarranted criticism when i was 15 and not looking for that. i don't think the person had malicious intent, but they were still annoying af lol

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

depends on my mood (and i definitely haven't posted a lot of it), but sometimes i do!! it's either very vanilla and emotional or very kinky, almost no in-between, but in both cases there's a lot more talking than action ahah

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

not a very crazy one, but i have a wip of a Steven Universe/The Owl House crossover!! Steven ends up in Gravesfield during his trip throughout the country and meets the Hexsquad, shenanigans ensue <3

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

fortunately no

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

a while ago, someone translated one of my fics in Spanish!! i can't remember which one tho, i think it was an old Undertale fic from my wattpad but i'm not 100% sure

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, i've had some friends beta-reading old fics but that's as close as it gets to co-written

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

hhhh idk :(( either Gustholomule or Luberto, they're both so silly and i'm weak for young, awkward love

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

way too many, i honestly can't choose

16. What are your writing strengths?

definitely dialogues, i know i'm good at making characters interact, whether it's fluff or good ol' angst

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

definitely descriptions of... well, basically anything. my english is alright, but sometimes i tend to go "there was [this], it was [that]" ad nauseam and it gets pretty boring. i feel like i can't get people into the setting like i'd want to

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

it's alright if done correctly. i never had the opportunity to use french in one of my fics, but the way i had to ignore bad use of french in random dialogues annoyed the shit out of me

19. First fandom you wrote for?

*sigh* we're really going down that road, are we

my first fandom was Salut Les Geeks, a shitass youtube show a la Ray William Johnson, and i was OBSESSED with the characters (and the whole show in general bc 14 yo me had bad taste). please don't ask me about this

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? 

Bat Country again!! i put a lot of effort and love into it (and a tiny bit of projection), and despite the couple mistakes in it, i'm very happy with the result, especially how i portray the characters. plus it's inspired by one of my favorite songs by a7x <3 (that you should definitely check out if you like metal!!)

tagging @secretly-of-course @stars-and-birds @raineadey no pressure tho!!

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @marimbles! ♥️ No pressure tags: @litfeathers @lollytea @ashanimus @greyhavenisback @princecharmingwinks @tails89 @nutellarghh @ash-mcj @childlikegoblinqueen @daydreams-and-honeybees @avatarmerida @asarcasticwitch @sailahina @secretly-of-course @sapphic--kiwi @haystarlight @zyrafowe-sny @peachytea04 @slightecho

1. How many works do you have on AO3? just hit 100 last month!

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 479,814

3. What fandoms do you write for? I've dabbled in quite a few over the years, but the ones I've written the most fics for are doctor who (eleven/amy) teen wolf (sterek) and the owl house (huntlow)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Error 404: Brain Cell Not Found (teen wolf | sterek) You Always Want What You're Running From (sleepy hollow | ichabbie) What To Do When Your Emotionally Constipated Werewolf Boyfriend Gets Cursed By A Witch: A Guide (teen wolf | sterek) Gold Rush (the owl house | huntlow) Lovesick (the owl house | huntlow) 5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do! Every kind comment means so much to me, so I always take the time to respond to all of them (though I'm not always great at getting to them on time.)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm probably The Courtesan and the Writer (doctor who | eleven/amy) I used to dabble in angst a bit more when I first started writing fic, but these days all my fics are pretty much guaranteed to have a happy ending, because real life is hard enough lol

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Pretty much all my fics have happy endings, but one of the happiest I wrote would probably be my huntlow college AU Until You Meet Someone Who Makes The Fall Feel Like Flying

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I wouldn't call it outright hate, but I have gotten a handful of rude comments over the years (complaining that I don't post often enough, telling me my headcanons are wrong, telling me how they think my story should have ended — one time someone yelled at me in all caps because I said that a character chilled red wine lol that one was wild)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! Smut is fun. Mine is typically more focused on the emotional aspect than the physical, is usually the result of a long tension-fueled slow burn buildup, and is usually tooth-rottingly fluffy, soft, and sweet.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have! Back in the days where superwholock plagued tumblr, I wrote one of the silliest cross-overs imaginable, combining doctor who, torchwood, bbc sherlock, supernatural, the avengers, and sleepy hollow: Lords, Gods, and Madmen

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yup 🙃

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! But most of them never saw the light of day 😂 one that did is called An Eggcellent Morning For Cooking Lessons co-written with @ash-mcj @tails89 and @nutellarghh

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I think my top three ships are reflected in who I've written the most fic for: huntlow, sterek, and the eleventh doctor/amy pond

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Luckily, everything that's posted to AO3 is finished, but at this point I'm thinking I'll probably never get around to writing the little nightmares, reylo, and captain swan WIPs I've had sitting in my drafts since 2019

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told I capture the characters really well, which means a lot to me. I've also been told that my writing is cozy and comforting and fills people with warm fuzzy feelings, which is always nice to hear 🥰

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I will sit there and agonize over the same paragraph trying to make it sound perfect instead of just letting the writing flow, so sometimes a fic will be in the works for a very long time until it's finally ready to be posted (by which time I'm probably sick of it and never want to look at it again 😂)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've dabbled in this a little bit, but it's usually been plot-relevant, like a character learning to speak the language (i.e. when Hunter tried to learn Spanish in Being Human.) When I do write in another language, I always do my best to research and try to get the translations as accurate as possible, and I always include the English translation either in the fic itself or as an author's note so readers don't have to break away from my fic to google anything. (And also so that they know what my intention was, on the off-chance I translated something wrong and accidentally wrote something offensive.) 19. First fandom you wrote for?

Does anyone remember that vampire show that came out back in like 2009? Moonlight? Yeah, that one lol

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? God, that's like asking me to pick my favorite child. Okay fine, it's Until You Meet Someone Who Makes The Fall Feel Like Flying

[astrobydalia]

🌸OBSERVATIONS!! (finally lmao)🌱

Credit: Tumblr blog @astrobydalia

It's been a long time coming! So happy for spring being finally here! Here's the long ass observation post you guys asked for. Since it's quite a big amount of observations, I've decided it'd be a good idea to number them so that it's easier to reference them. As always, enjoy them!

🌸 1. Lilith in the 2nd house can indicate something fishy going on with the relationship between the native’s parents.

🌱 2. Malefic placements such as pluto, chiron, Saturn or Lilith in the 12th indicates a lot of skeletons in the closet when it comes to family and family history

🌸 3. Chiron in Aries/1st house or Leo/5th house is kind of bitch placement. The person basically feels like they can’t be themselves and there’s a lot of self-denial and/or not accepting themselves, how they really are, what they really want, etc. Lots of self-esteem issues

🌱 4. People with sexual placements in the 2nd house (Mars, Venus, Lilith, Eros, ruler of the 8th house) base their self-worth on how sexually attractive they are. If they don't feel sexually desirable to everyone, they feel like they're shit

🌸 5. Lilith is what people think Pluto/Scorpio is!!!! All that stuff about magnetic, sexual and intoxicating but dangerous? Lilith.

🌱 6. Scorpio/Pluto in 4th could mean that the person had to work hard to survive something growing up. It could be poverty, their parents’ expectations, an early trauma, etc. Whatever the situation is, the native felt like they grew up in a high-stress environment where they had to endure and survive

🌸 7. When it comes to degrees, the higher the degree, the bigger or stronger the effect. For example Leo degrees (5º, 17º, 29º) are fame degrees. 5th degree would give small fame, 17th degree would be normal and significant fame or recognition inside the person’s field and 29th degree is moreso widespread or permanent fame

🌱 8. Saturn in the 5th house is a huge indicator of turning your hobby into your job. Also these people can be very awkward in their personality

🌸 9. I’ve noticed people with Neptune in the 6th (maybe 2nd) house may have been hospitalized and if Uranus or Pluto are placed here also indicates getting surgery or operations for health reasons

🌱 10. People with Uranus or Pluto in the 1st, 2nd or conjunct the ASC could get surgery due to aesthetic reason

🌸 11. Mercury dominant people (or strong Gemini energy in the chart) like to have or get things quick and easy. For example they prefer a straight forward summary over an in-depth and elaborated explanation with too many details

🌱 12. Your moon sign shows how you see your past. Your 4th house represent how you see your childhood. But your moon represents under which light you always view your past and everything that has happened in your life in general. It also shows the type of stuff from your past you tend to focus on. Since Cancer and Pisces represent past and remenaicence, that's why Cancer and Pisces moons have trouble getting over the past.

🌸 13. Your 10th house on the other hand is how you see your future. Whenever someone asks you “where you see yourself in 5 years?” your 10th house is the one that’ll be answering that question

🌱 14. Gemini moon/mars are the LEAST likely to hold grudges (unless chart says otherwise)

🌸 15. The house where you have your Neptune indicates the themes you tend to lie about, don’t give much info, say stuff about it that are misleading etc. and in consequence people might not have a clear/correct idea of this part of your life

🌱 16. Virgo risings rarely or basically never pose for pictures. They just look straight forward to the camera, sometimes smile and maybe make a small gesture like putting one hand in their pocket or tilt their head but that’s it. (Virgo = minimalism)

🌸 17. Scorpios really don’t give a single fuck they just DON’T 😭💀 Remember this sign is all or nothing, they either care too or don't care AT ALL

🌱 18. I said it once and I’ll say to a hundred times more: Geminis are not two-faced, it’s LIBRA!! Seriously Libras are the FAKEST people I’ve ever met. Why? Because it's ruled by the planet of love (Venus), which means Libra has a knack for being liked by everyone and making everyone feel liked. HOWEVER Libra is an AIR sign and air represents mind, NOT feelings. In conclusion, Libra can make you feel "loved" (venus) and still not give a damn about you bc its air nature makes them prone to emotional detachment. That's why they are able to roast you and make it look like they're complimenting you, specially when they have Scorpio mercury.

🌸 19. Just like you look at where’s the ruler of your rising sign to get more info on your rising, check the ruler of your Sun sign for more info on your personal identity (check sign and house). For ex. I have Virgo Sun in the 9th. Ruler of Virgo=Mercury. I have mercury in Libra in the 10th house which makes me more serious (10th house) and diplomatic/people pleaser (Libra)

🌱 20. If you found that you “couldn’t” do what’s previously described because you’re a Leo sun, check the degree and decan of your Sun

🌸 21. I’ve noticed mercury retrograde people are the type of individuals who always know exactly the right things to say. You’ll always see them take a couple of seconds before answering but they tend to give very good responses

🌱 22. I’ve noticed many women with Virgo Venus/Sun/MC/Lilith have been slut-shamed at some point of their life or they’ve been seen as promiscuous/sexual/etc.

🌸 23. Capricorn moons are not emotionless machines. The thing with these natives is that their mothers treated them like an adult the second they came out of the womb, so basically they skipped the “love and affection” stage and went straight to the “grow up” stage, but they can love really hard and real deep (Capricorn is deep down a very sentimental sign). They are very ride or die people tbh, they are very patient, accepting and understanding

🌱 24. I've noticed that people at first deny their rising sign in Vedic astrology, but eventually they end up accepting it and they actually end up relating to it a lot. I feel like this is because our rising sign in Vedic astrology is usually the sign of our 12th house in Western astrology, which leads me to believe that our 12th house sign is not our shadow side but more like our deep subcontious personality and that's why we have a hard time accepting it when we see it as our rising sign in Vedic astrology. It's like your rising sign (in western) is the director of the play but your 12th house is the energy that previously wrote the script

🌸 25. So many celebrities have moon in the 11th house. Also this placement indicates that you had a mother that put you out there constantly like posting everything about you on social media, bringing you to big events or your mom was “famous” in some capacity

🌱26. Gemini risings tend to believe everything they are told. More specifically, once they find someone that knows a little bit more than them they’ll believe everything they teach them and will most likely rely on them intellectually, for advice, guidance, etc. This is bc they have DSC in Sagittarius which makes them see the people they associate with as masters and mentors while, as a Gemini rising, they identify as an apprentice.

🌸27. Both 8th house and 12th house have been associated with secrets. The different is that the 8th house represents what you CONTIOUSLY and deliberately hide from others and most likely deny to yourself (or not, depends on the person). 12th house on the other hand represents subconscious, things that are hidden even from you and you didn’t even know were hidden. 4th house is not necessarily secrets, it represents privacy, like when people have a sanctuary to just relax, unwind and feel secure, that’s the 4th house.

🌱28. Sun or Moon in the 4th house will make you a sociable but private person.

🌸29. Sun or moon in the 8th house will make you an intriguing and mysterious person.

🌱30. Sun or moon the 12th house makes you a very elusive or wishy-washy person

🌸31. I’ve seen many Scorpio sun/moon/mars/rising individuals obsessed with the idea of being prepared for a catastrophe. They could be the type to, for example, have some saved cash just in case something bad happens with their bank money, have a backup account just in case their main one gets deleted, could have a “leave before you get left” philosophy, etc.

🌱32. Is it just me or the astro community talks a lot about Aries moons???

🌸33. I’ve noticed people with 4th house in Virgo could have been raised in a very judgemental household where there was lots of taboos and prejudice as to what’s right and what’s not and the family was too preoccupied with a perfect and immaculate reputation. For example could have been raised with values such as “only criminals wear tattoos” or “you should stay celibate till marriage or else you’re a whore”, etc. and if the native broke those rules they could have been very criticized and almost loathed by the family. They native could have been highly criticized in general by their family

🌱34. I’ve noticed women that have their moon harshly aspecting Pluto, Uranus and Mars or overall have a very afflicted moon tend to have very painful period cramps

🌸35. Something I have noticed with Venus or Moon conjunct Saturn people is that the concept of unconditional love sounds like alien language to them. That of course doesn’t mean they can’t love but they have this deep belief that they have to achieve something in order to deserve love and stuff like that

🌱36. Also, I just noticed that people with Saturn conjunct sun/moon/Venus/ASC, Capricorn big 3 or Capricorn degrees in personal placements have gone through IT man, specially on an internal level. I've noticed going through depression is a common theme for people with this Capricorn/Saturn influence

🌸37. Virgo Suns could often struggle to find balance between having healthy ego and being humble.

🌱38. Also people with Virgo+Leo energy are the MOOOOST judgmental people out there. Imagine ego mixed with a sense of knowing what’s correct. They tend to believe they’re morally superior and easily liable people as inferior

🌸39. The underdeveloped energy of a sign asimilates negative traits of its sister sign. For example underdeveloped Virgo is overly perfectionist and judgmental to the point where they have unrealistic expectations (Pisces)

🌱40. On the other hand the developed version of a sign is balanced out by understanding its sister sign. For example Leo knows they are unique and special and deserves recognition but understands everyone is also unique in their own way (Aquarius)

🌸41. I’ve noticed a person can very easily manifest the stereotypical characteristics of the sign that naturally rules the house where their chart ruler is. For example if someone’s chart ruler (ruler of the ASC) is in the 7th house the person can easily manifest stereotypical characteristics of Libra like being a people pleaser

🌱42. Sagittarius ASC/Mars people are all fun, amicable and outgoing.... until they don’t get their way. They will get away from people and situations that won’t give them what they want and they can genuinely dislike people solely because those people don’t let them have their way. They tend to go around life like they have a free pass to get away with everything they want.

🌸43. People with ASC-Neptune aspects don’t have a very reliable vision of reality or themselves to be honest. I don’t know how people with this aspect haven’t lost their mind already. They are prone to subconsciously manipulating or easily getting manipulated. With hard aspects this is a lot more obvious but I’ve noticed with easy aspects this energy tends to go almost unnoticed and they easily get away with stuff

🌱44. Have seen many famous people with North node in the 2nd, 5th, 11th and 12th houses specially

🌸45. Air risings or air dominance with Sagittarius placements/degrees are people who love cartoons/animations/videogames regardless of their age.

🌱46. When I got into astrology I didn’t understand why Sun is in detriment in Libra, but oh man... All Libras I’ve met had HUGE issues with trusting themselves. They doubt themselves 24/7 and that’s not even an exaggeration and I’ve noticed they actually may have grown up doubting themselves for some reason or they had a family (their dad) that caused this feeling in them. Also I’ve seen that those Libras with Scorpio placements feel like they have to hide something about themselves otherwise they’ll be rejected. Yes they are endlessly charming, but that's because they have essentially created their personality around the desire of being liked/accepted. They always need to feel they have SOMEONE. Their sense of self, INDIVIDUALITY, independence and assertiveness is lost in the process. Unless they have fire and specially Aries placements to balance this out they can feel like they have no personality and that’s why they are often perceived as fake or shallow.

🌸47. Literally ALL Virgo placements one way or another will always suggest a way to solve your problems when giving emotional support

🌱48. I have a theory that, since 4th house is how you were raised, your home and your parents, your 10th house is how you’d be as a parent yourself and the type of home you’ll create yourself

🌸49. Contrary to my expectations, I’ve seen priests having a much more prominent 4th house (many times combined with 8th house/Scorpio energy) than 12th house. People with 12th house placements or stellium seem to prefer artistic fields rather than classic spirituality

🌱50. The house where you have your Pluto is a house you just can NOT take lightly EVER. This area of your life feels like a heavy topic to you in some way (you are either obsessed with it, find It traumatic, get extremely defensive over it, find it spiteful, you feel everything goes wrong, etc, etc.) Can also apply to the house where you have the sign of scorpio

🌸51. In synastry, Venus falling in the 12th house creates a healing dynamic in the relationship, the connection can feel cathartic specially for the house person. The house person might tend to always be comforted by the venus person’s support, always feel better (or even energetically “cleansed”) after being with them. The venus person never judges the house person and accepts them and is always willing to be there.

🌱52. I’ve noticed this pattern in people with mutable moons where they have absent mothers in some shape or form. Their mother is very inconsistent, she always comes and goes. Very often the native may have felt like their mother always “left them be” (virgo moon moms put restrictions but eventually are rather flexible)

🌸53. People with cardinal moons have bossy mothers. In many cases they can have the type of mother that is constantly making decisions for them, like their mother decides what/where they’re going to study for example (the house tells what type of things the mother tends to make decisions on).

🌱54. People with fixed moons have possesive and protective moms. While mutable moons have absent mothers, natives with fixed moons have mothers that are ALWAYS there in some shape or form. At the very least the influence of the mother is always there and they always have this sense of “loyalty” towards their mom.

Credit: Tumblr blog @astrobydalia

That's it for now, next observation post is just as long but much better, stay tuned and safe loves 💕

[ramp-it-up]

Fresh Squeeze Ch. 13

Pairing: Daveed Diggs x OFC Linden Marshall (You)

Set in 2023, post-pandemic

Warnings: Minors DNI, 18 + ONLY, RPF, drinking, dancing, singing, cursing, lots of plot and fluff and sad with some Smut as well. This has everything. Daddy kink, oral sex (m recieving), cum play, drunken confessions/rambling, Love, y’all.

“As” x Stevie Wonder

Word Count: 5.7 K 

Plot: Lindy reacts to her gifts, gets another one from the group, and TURNS UP. They finally get back to NYC and deal with having to be apart (or not).

“Well, what do you think?”  Daveed was looking at you expectantly.

“I…….” 

You really didn’t know what to say.  You were surprised, intrigued, curious, and a little frightened. Your mind was trying to take it all in.

Daveed’s heart dropped as he watched your face. He closed the photo app on his phone.

“It’s cool. It’s a lot to think about...”  He could kick himself. He’d gotten carried away and ruined a perfect thing. He wished he could rewind time.

“I, I’ll meet you out at the bar. Go have some fun. We’ll talk later.” 

He might as well begin getting wasted for when you ended it between you two.  It had been a great day and a half. He turned around and headed for the door.

“Diggs, where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

Daveed stopped and turned around, bracing for it. He saw the flash your eyes.

“Look, Linden.  I’m sorry.  I took it too far. Forget I even showed you that picture.” He leaned on the wall and looked everywhere but at you. 

Your heart twisted in your chest. Daveed really did love you. And he was wearing his anxiety all over him. It hurt your heart that he felt that way. It was on you to communicate now.

You approached him slowly and put your hands on his arms as he looked at the floor. You bent your knees to get a glimpse of his eyes and to force him to look at you.  

Daveed smiled when he saw you peeking at him.  Maybe you weren’t pissed at him.

“I’m so pissed at you,” you breathed. 

Oh, well.

“How are you going to lecture me about running away all the time when that’s what you were about to do?”

Daveed opened and closed his mouth. Then he looked at you. You were right.

You slid into his arms and he looked down at you.  So fucking beautiful.

“Thank you for my presents, Daveed. I’m not mad that you got them. But you’re right, it is a lot to think about.” You sighed and lay your head on his chest.  

“This weekend has been amazing, and I’m happy you got carried away…It means….”

“It means I love you, Lindy.” He kissed the top of your head. “But I get it, you need time to think about… taking that step.” 

Daveed realized that you were just nervous.

You bit your lip and nodded. “Yeah.”  

Daveed leaned down and kissed your lips. It was slow and sensual.

“Anything I can do to help with your thinking process?”  

His lips were at your cheek, moving to your jaw, your earlobe and then your neck.  You moaned as he found the spot he’d memorized so quickly, like a verse.

You moaned, heating up again as his hand smoothed your dress over your ass and his fingers reached for the hem. Again.

You felt yourself begin to tumble down the hill of your desire for Daveed, which you tried to snap yourself out of by clearing your throat, to which Daveed smiled at against the skin of your collarbone.

“We should really get back out there.”

You fully expected him to object, but instead he agreed.

“You’re right.”  He planted another kiss on your spot.  “The crew is working on a gift for you out there.” He nuzzled your neck and then kissed below your earlobe. 

“What?” You were curious as to what they were up to. Daveed just stared at you. “W-what do you mean they're working on a present?” 

Daveed chuckled and smiled at you, grabbing you by the hand. “I don't know. Let’s go see.”

--------

Craig happened to be passing by when you and Daveed came out of the bathroom. You were caught.

“OOOOOOOOOh. I’m gonna call Monalinda on your ass.” You were swole, and about to cuss Craig out and then instantly deflated.

“Oh shit.” You looked at him. “My mom.” 

You dropped Daveed’s hand and dug in your purse for your phone, which you had basically ignored all weekend. 

It was lit up with birthday messages, one from Mark, which you deleted, and plenty from other friends and acquaintances on social media.

You looked up at Daveed. “I’m have to call my mom.  I’m going to step outside.”

“I’ll go with you.” Craig, your protector.

Daveed didn’t want to let you go, but he didn’t want to crowd you. You went downstairs and out of the door, Craig with you.

You scrolled for the call from your mom, and like clockwork, she’d called at 8:43 am, the time you were born. It was well over 12 hours since she’d called. You cringed and dialed her back.

She picked up immediately.

“Linden? Happy Birthday, Baby.”

“Hey Mama. Thank you. Sorry I missed your call.”

“That’s ok, baby. I figured you’d be busy having fun. Craig watching out for you?”

You laughed and looked over at Craig.  “Hey Auntie Mona!” He yelled and all three of you laughed.

“Hey Craig! Take care of Linden for me.”

“Mama, I’m 30 years old now. I can watch out for myself.” 

Now she was laughing at you. Sometimes it was like you were her twin, brash and independent.

“Ok, you’re right. Is that Daveed boy there with you?  Craig told his father that you had a crush on him.”

“Oh, did he now?” You were gonna tap Craig in his jaw. You made a cutting motion against your throat to him. He just laughed at you and flipped you off. 

“Yes, mom, he’s here,” you sighed.

Mona knew that tone. And she laughed at you again.

“Linden, just be open to love, Baby. You deserve it.” 

You loved your mom so much, but It was when you were talking to her that you were reminded of Dell. That’s why you tried to avoid it. Because when you thought about Dell, you felt like you didn’t deserve anything.

You thought about how you should be on a three-way call with her and Dell, her wishing you both a happy birthday.

“Mama…. I’m sorry. I…”

“Linden. Stop it. Just stop it.  It wasn’t your fault. You can’t live your life blaming yourself. He’d want you to move on.  And he’d be so proud of you now. I’m so proud of you.”

“I love you Mama.” You smiled through your tears. 

“I love you too, Baby.  Now get off the phone with me and go have some fun with that tall, fine man. And tell me all about him when you get back, maybe bring him to meet me if you realize you should snag him.  Have a safe flight.”

You laughed at her read. “Ok, Mama. Goodbye.”

“Bye, Lindy.”

You took out your phone and scrolled through your pictures of Dell.  You picked one and made your annual post for your birthdays. Craig moved toward you and took you in his arms.

“You okay, cousin?”

You looked up at him, and the tears came harder because he was crying too. He was the only one who missed Dell almost as much as you.  Except your mom, who probably missed him more. You hugged Craig and let yourself cry.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine after I kick your ass for telling Uncle Lindron about Daveed. You know he and Mona talk every day.” You started to walk back into the club, where Daveed was watching for you to return.

“Lindy, this ain’t Jersey, and I’m not one of those little hoodrats you used to fight all the time. I’ll fuck you up, just like I did in the 7th grade.”

“Shut up, Craig!” you laughed and pushed him, lightening up a little, especially when you saw Daveed’s concerned look as he came for you.

“You okay?”  You looked up at him and smiled, giving him a quick peck on the lips.  “I’m good.”

Craig and Daveed led you to where Rafael, Anthony, and Jasmine were standing.  Daveed planted you on the stool and looked you in the eyes.

“Stay here.”

“OK?”  You looked around to see everyone smiling at you.  Rafa winked as Daveed approached a mic stand. You got a feeling of dread in your stomach. 

Oh no-

Daveed looked at you as the crew gathered around.  

“Hey everybody. This is Lindy.” He held his hand out to you. “And it’s Lindy’s birthday today. And I bet she thinks we’re about to embarrass her and have you sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to her.” He looked over to you. “But she’d be wrong.”

You breathed a sigh of relief.

“We were wondering what to give the woman who has everything.” 

You called out to him. “Are you included in ‘everything?’”

“You are correct, madam.” Daveed smirked in response. You shook your head as everyone laughed.

“But we decided to use what we have and that is talent. And we picked a song to perform that her cousin Craig said was a family favorite and is really really true for all of us, especially me. 

We’re going to perform a song that lets you know that you got new family members for life.”

Rafa cued the DJ to start the track. As you heard the opening cords, you brought your hands to your mouth, emotional.

Jasmine was first up.

As around the sun the earth knows she's revolving/ And the rosebuds know to bloom in early May/ just as hate knows loves the cure/ You can rest your mind assured/ That I'll be loving you always/ As now can't reveal the mystery of tomorrow/ But in passing will grow older every day/ Just as all is born is new/ Do know what I say is true/That I'll be loving you always

Jasmine came over and gave you a hug as she sung the last line.

Everyone started dancing this choreographed routine of 70’s dance moves, the hustle, the hand jive, and the bump during the refrain as they sang. Even Craig joined in the chorus.

Anthony sang next.

Did you know that true love asks for nothing./ Her acceptance is the way we pay Did you know that life has given love a guarantee/ To last through forever and another day/ Just as time knew to move on since the beginning/ And the seasons know exactly when to change/ Just as kindness knows no shame/ Know through all your joy and pain/ That I'll be loving you always

Ant handed Rafael the mic next.

As today I know I'm living but tomorrow/ Could make me the past but that I mustn't fear/ For I'll know deep in my mind/ The love of me I've left behind/ Cause I'll be loving you always

 More dancing, and you had to get up out of your seat.

Daveed had the bridge:

We all know sometimes life's hates and troubles/ Can make you wish you were born in another time and space/ …...And maybe our children's grandchildren/ And their great-great grandchildren will tell/ I'll be loving you

Everyone in the club joined in the chorus by the end, including you. It went on and on and was the best time you’d had on your birthday in a long time.

You ended up in Daveed’s arms with everyone dancing around you.  It was big love and it was perfect.

You danced and drank shots until you were exhausted and wasted. You and everybody sang all the way back to the beach house, and  Daveed had to practically carry you in when you arrived.

---------------

“THAT WAS THE BEST BIRTHDAY OF ALLL TIMEEEEEE!”  You looked around the great room of the beach house and saw everyone staring at you.  

“YOU’RE SO LOUD! BE QUIET! SHHHHHHH!”

“That’s you. You’re yelling Lindy.”  Daveed was cracking up at you.

Jasmine and Anthony laughed at you on the way to the master suite. 

“G’night mom and dad!” You waved at them as they retired for the night.

“Are you going to flog me, General?” 

You heard Jasmine say, “Oh my god, she’s wasted,” as she and Anthony went in their room. Anthony replied. “Oh, fo sho.”

Daveed chuckled and shook his head as he led you into your room. 

“General, hunh? No, I’m not going to flog you. I’m gonna put your ass to bed.” 

You sat down on the bed and looked up at him adoringly.

 “You know, I went with ‘he who must not be named’ to see Hamilton in 2015. When I saw you in that uniformmmmmmmmmm….” 

You shook your head and closed your eyes, remembering. ”I had a flash of a thought to run up on stage and suck your soul out.”

Daveed smiled his shy smile again, embarrassed.  

“I’m sorry, I’m fangirling right now. But sign my tits.” You tried to pull the collar of your dress down, and when it wouldn’t stretch, you started fighting with it, trying to get it off.

“Easy, easy.” Daveed was highly amused. He helped you to stand up so you could get out of your clothes. 

He looked down and stroked your cleavage.   “I already marked them up good. And when those fade I’m coming back for more.” 

He leaned down and kissed the tops of each breast and then stopped himself to help you out of the dress. Now was not the time to start something.

“Oh shit, Daveed.”  You squirmed. “You got me wet. Damn, boy. You keep me wet.” 

You started singing WAP as you twerked in front of him. Daveed was enjoying seeing the carefree side of you. You could be so free and he was glad that tonight got you there.

You flopped back down on the bed. “Damn, I would let you fuck me in that uniform tho. A dream. And that sword? The hilt of that mutha fucking sword. Fuck. Do you still have it? I mean...”  

You opened your legs and ran your hands up your thighs. 

Daveed grabbed them and pulled you back up so that he could slip your dress off. You were out of your mind, but you still got him there.  

He’d have to see what he could do about that costume when you were sober. He wanted to fulfill your every fantasy, and he hoped that you would let him.

When you came out from under your dress you looked about to cry. He frowned a bit. 

“What happened?”  When you looked up at him with your drunk, teary eyes, he remembered. Tequila.

“I don’t deserve you. You’re so fucking sweet. And nerdy, and cute, and so fucking talented. I mean you’re such a great actor, and writer, and rapper, and you can rap so fast, I mean damn that tongue.”  

You opened your eyes wide. “Is that why you’re so good at head?”  You covered your mouth at the realization and started crying harder.  “I don’t deserve you!”  Daveed helped you as you cried, and he tried to get you in the bed.

“Yes, you do Lindy.  We all deserve love. Now calm down. It’s ok. We can talk about it in the morning.”

You stopped and stood still, adamant, naked for Daveed to take in and save for later. “You wanna know a secret?”  You looked around the room to see if anyone was listening, even though you were alone with Daveed. “I forgot what I was talking about.”

Daveed laughed and went into the bathroom to get one of your makeup wipes. When he handed it to you is when you started crying again. 

“No one ever wanted me to take off my makeup before...no one cared about my skin… and no one sang to me in Puerto Rico...”  

You were still crying as you wiped the tears and makeup away.  “Tell me why you love me in the morning.”

“I will. Lay down and I’ll get you some water.”  Daveed got you under the covers and tucked you in.

“It’s gonna be hard when we get back to New York, cause I’m a bitch in New York. In Isabella I’m a queen…”

“Yes you are. You’re MY queen. Anywhere you go. You’re not gonna get rid of me in New York. Now try to center yourself and calm down okay?”  You smiled weakly up at him and nodded, holding your arms out to him.

Daveed hugged you, kissed your forehead and then went to the kitchen to get some bottles of water. Rafa was in there, eating cereal and on his phone.

“Ya girl is wasted.”

“Yeah, she’s gone, man gone.” Daveed smiled.  “Thanks for tonight, man. The arrangement was tight.”

“No problem at all. We all really love Lindy. She’s special, man.”

Daveed smiled as he gathered about four bottles of water and set them on the counter. He had a faraway look. Rafa could read him like a book.

 “Oh shit, Diggs.”

Daveed looked at him.

“Yeah, this is it.”  He’d made a decision.

“Happy for you, man.”

Daveed gave Rafa a smile and elbow dap as he went back to your room.

You were singing “As” and smiling when he returned.  “I’m tore up. Sorry.”

Daveed blinded you with his smile.  “No worries, Baby Girl. Here, drink this. It will go better when you wake up if you do.”  

You returned his smile and drank the entire bottle of water.  It helped clear your head a bit and the exhaustion got to you. Your eyes were drawn to him like a magnet as he headed toward the shower and took off his shirt. Damn, why did his back get you hot?

“I’ll be waiting for you when you get out.”

Daveed smiled back at you. “Get some rest Lindy. I know we’re leaving Isabela tomorrow, but we have time to spend together beyond that. I’m not going anywhere, Baby Girl.”

You smiled and nodded, hazily realizing something and resolving to stay up before you knocked out into a deep sleep.

-----

Daveed had stayed up a little while longer than you and wrote some things, editing a verse for a track that he and Rafael were producing and also adding to his Linden notes.  Then, he took you into his arms and fell asleep.  

He wondered how he would do it without you in New York, or how he would go back to the West Coast without you.  He was thinking about the same things you were, but he was more confident that you two would find a way.

The Monday morning sun greeted him and he rolled over to see that it was 10 am. The flight back to New York left at 3 pm.  Just a couple of hours before everyone needed to head to the airport. 

You were still knocked out, snoring a little, but so adorably.  He kissed your forehead and got out of bed with a bottle of water, padding to his room.

He marveled at the fact that he’d spent very little time there this weekend. It was basically a glorified closet and he was glad for it.  

He was grateful to Jasmine and Anthony who offered to plan this weekend for you.  They knew that you and he together on a tropical island would do the trick.  

He shook his head that it actually worked as he put on his running shoes and shorts and packing up a little before he went running.

Daveed sent you a text before he got started, then headed west on the beach and did a lot of thinking, planning how to soothe the fears that you’d expressed last night.

----

You woke up 20 minutes after Daveed left with only a slight headache and fuzzy memories of the night before. You instantly missed Daveed and grabbed your phone.

Good morning my Queen. Going running.  Be back soon. Love you.

You smiled like a schoolgirl at your phone, and your heart immediately lifted. You lay back on your pillow and thought of how lucky you were. 

Then, memories of your drunken ramblings came back and you buried your head under your pillow.

You hopped in the shower and tried to forget what you’d said, hoping that Daveed did too. It was the first time in a minute you gotten to shower alone, so you took your time. 

When you came out in your towel, your hair wet and conditioned, you met Daveed who was trying to sneak back in and see you wake up.

Seeing you all wet and sexy in just a towel did something to Daveed. You were surprised, your mouth in that sexy o shape, just like in the fitting room of H & M.

“Hey.” Daveed smiled at you.

“Hey yourself.” 

You smiled back and shifted your weight as water droplets tumbled down your shoulders into the valley between your breasts.  Daveed couldn’t help but stare.  “How was your run?”

“Damn.” Daveed realized too late that you had asked him a question. “I mean…” he chuckled. “It was good.”  He noticed you eying him and realized that he was all sweaty.

‘Damn’ is right you thought, the sweat was running down Daveed’s torso like the water from your shower. He smelled like his cologne mixed with the sea air and more musk. You needed that. Right now.

“I’m all sweaty, can I borrow your shower?”

You walked nearer to him, stopping behind him him in front of the bed. “No.”

Daveed turned his head to question you. “No? You mean I can’t borrow your shower?  You want me to go back to my…”

“No.” You traced your finger in the sweat on his lat muscle and then put it in your mouth. 

“I don’t want you to use my shower, and I don’t want you to go back to yours. At least not right now.”

Daveed turned around and faced you and when he did, you dropped your towel on the bed.  His eyes went where you wanted them to.

“I want to lick the sweat off your abs, your dick and your balls before you do that.”

“Holy shit, Lindy.” Daveed groaned,  grabbed you by the throat and pulled you in for a kiss. “You’re so fucking nasty.”  He kissed you as his cock swelled. “I love it. I love you.”

You sat on the bed and pulled him toward you, getting started on your mission.  You put your tongue in the happy trail of black hair below his navel, flat and wide, and licked a long stripe up and around his belly button. 

The tangy essence of his perspiration contained some kind of aphrodisiac, because you went crazy and would have licked him clean if he hadn’t stopped you to take off his running shorts and shoes.

You watched his dick, thick from desire, spring free and slap his stomach.  You immediately grabbed for it and Daveed stepped out of your reach. You looked up at him, and he returned your gaze. 

Unspoken communication flowed that this was going to be as equals.  You grabbed for it again and he stepped closer, allowing you to palm him as you licked and sucked his sack.

He leaned his head back in ecstasy as you took care of the boys and jacked him off.  Then he looked down at you and you kept eye contact as you licked the tip of his dick, circled it with your tongue and then opened your mouth and deep throated it like a champ.

“Fuuuuuuucckkkkk, Lindy.” Daveed reached for your breasts and squeezed them, pinching and rolling your nipples. You arched your back, and your ass looked amazing on the bed.  Daveed needed to hit that. 

He pulsed at the thought of breaking your back and realized that he was buried deep in your throat at the moment. His eyes came back to yours, which were watering with the effort to breathe around him.  

He didn’t hold you there, but you kept your nose nestled in the wiry hairs at the base of his cock.  Damn.  He wanted to be both places at once. 

He brought his hand up to your wet hair, gently massaging your scalp as you did what you wanted with him.  He had the irrational desire to tattoo your name on it, because nothing would ever compare to you.

You came off of him, sputtering and gasping for breath, a proud smile on your face.  Daveed smiled down at you and wiped your mouth with his hand as you smiled back up at him.  He leaned down and gave you a filthy kiss.

“I want you to pound me from behind.” Your voice was a sexy whisper, making tingles go up his spine.  

“Just what I was thinking. We’re made for each other, Lindy.” He kissed you again.

You quickly pulled away and got on the bed on all fours, ass presented to Daveed.  He just stood there admiring you as he stroked himself for a minute.  

He was trying to meditate, pray, something, because what you’d already done to him and just looking at you was going to make him bust.

You looked back at him, and bit your lip, watching him.  Then, you brought your hand up to your mouth, licked your fingers, and brought it down to start steady, tight circles on your clit, arching your back and giving him a good view of exactly what was happening. 

“Shit.”  

Daveed grabbed your hip and lined up with your cunt, feeling with his tip that you were fluttering around nothing but that.  He whined in the back of this throat as he made himself sink into you slowly, your pussy grabbing him with each millimeter.  He bottomed out. You were stretched out wonderfully.

“You good? How’s that feel?”

You could only whine. “So good. So, so, so good Daveed.  Please.”  You were begging, his dick was pulsing. “Please, please, please Daddy.”  

Daveed groaned again. “Fuck, yeah. You want it?”

“Yeah!”

He started moving.  He thought he was going to pass out it felt so good.

“This shit feels so good, Linden.  You need it?”

“Fuck, yeah, Daddy.  Oh!”  Your arms had collapsed, and your cheek was getting pounded into the mattress as Daveed pistoned into you harder and harder. “Thank you thank you thank you.”

You were so fucking sweet that Daveed was about to paint your insides with his children. But he stopped, causing both of you to curse and pant into the silence. 

The throbbing of his dick and the clenching of your pussy pushed him over the edge, making him lose control and start pumping again. 

You knew he was trying to hold out and the thought that he couldn’t triggered your orgasm and you came, tears coursing out of your shut eyes as you moaned.

Daveed felt you cum with relief, because he was able to make sure you got yours; watching you cum was magnificent. But now it was his turn

“Where do you want it Linden?”

“On my ass Daddy.” You smiled back at him with glazed over eyes, still lost in sex land.

“Fuck!” He pulled out and fisted his cock, spurting all over your beautiful cheeks as he reached around for your sensitive clit. 

He relentlessly held you fast with his arm as you tried to run from the second orgasm that was triggered by his fingers and the feel of his cum dripping down your folds.

“Shit, Daveed!”  He chuckled evilly as you came apart again, leaning down to put his drenched fingers in your mouth.  You made eye contact with him as you sucked his cum off them, and he was almost hard again. Damn.

He collapsed on his back and watched as you lay on your stomach and closed your eyes.

“Looks like we both need a shower now…”

You opened your eyes, and his heart clenched. You were so pretty. So purely Linden.

“Damn, I Love you girl.”  

“I love you too, Daveed.”  You bit your lip at the emotion. “We probably need to shower separately because….. we'll miss our flight.” He knew what you meant.

Daveed frowned.  “You’re not wrong, but we can save time and water if we shower together. I promise I won’t try anything but get squeaky clean.”  He was not trying to have this togetherness end so soon.

You couldn’t help but smile.  You were doomed.  You sighed, gave him a peck and made your way to the shower, him hot on your heels.

----

You boarded the flight back to NYC the same way you boarded the 3 and a half hour flight to PR, with you and Daveed running to the gate to board just in time.

You settled into first class, this time eagerly snuggling up to him in the blanket from jump.  You were whispering and giggling together.  Daveed looked at you and knew what you were thinking.

“Before you say it, let’s wait and join the mile-high club for when we’re not with our friends.”  You peeked through the divide in your seats to find Craig and Rafael behind you. Craig stuck his tongue out at you.

“Yeah, you right. I don’t wanna hear it from this crew.”  

You cuddled happily, on your phones and taking selfies, posting them separately to IG.  Even though you didn’t post the pics of you two together, the fact that Rafael photobombed both of the ones you posted gave the connection away. 

When you deboarded at JFK about 8 o’clock, you and Daveed brought up the rear of the group, not walking slowly, not wanting the weekend to end.  By the time you got to baggage claim, Rafa and Jas and Ant were walking out to the cars that were waiting for them. 

“See you later guys! Thank you again for everything.”  You hugged the Martinez coupled as they went back to Brooklyn.

“Catch you tomorrow Cash.”  Daveed gave Rafael dap and you gave him a hug as he departed.

Craig was at the baggage carousel, just waiting to order the uber for you and he to go back to his place. You were very quiet, lost in your thoughts.

“.....Rafa and I have a late lunch meeting at 1 tomorrow and then rehearsals start Wednesday through Friday at the new venue. Then we have the weekend off and shows start up again next Tuesday. What does your week look like Lindy?”  Daveed wasn’t going to let you slip away from him, physically or mentally.

“Well, I have this Bar exam study session tomorrow afternoon, and I really need to cram for the exam next month. And… oh shit, I have this event  for the law firm I’m clerking at in the fall on Saturday. It’s sort of like an introductory mandatory thing. Black tie.”

Daveed looked at you. “So, I guess you already have a date for that.”

You snapped out of your funk and caught the tone.  “Yeah, I do.” You fought a smile and Craig started shaking his head as he looked at his phone.

“Oh.”  Daveed rocked on his heels and watched for his bag on the carousel.

You tapped his arm and smiled at him, nodding your head toward your cousin. “It’s him.”

Daveed made eye contact with Craig who laughed at him.  

“Sounds dope.” He was very relieved.

“Well, about that Lindy…..” Craig had some news.  “Brian is coming to visit next weekend.  Imma fly my baby out!”  He took in your shocked face.  “What?” 

“Nothing. You grown. And you’re ditching me. That’s always cool.”

Craig shrugged.  “What you won’t do for love.”

Daveed agreed. “So it sounds like you need a date.”

You turned back towards him, a smile on your lips.

“Yeah, sounds like it. You think Rafael is free?”

Daveed bent his head and shook it.  “What time do I need to pick you up, Linden.”

You perked up at the dom voice, and replied immediately. “8 pm.”

“Done.”

“Perfect, and pack a bag, you can stay with Daveed so Brian and I can have the place to ourselves.”

“What makes you think that I want to stay with him, or if he even wants that? You can’t just…”

Daveed interrupted you.  “You’re welcome anytime, Baby Girl.”

You shivered. “Okay…” you almost said, ‘Daddy,’ but you didn’t. Not in front of Craig.

“It’s settled then.” Craig grabbed his bag and you reached for yours, but Daveed grabbed it before you could take it.

You walked out to where you and Craig’s uber waited and the car the Daveed had ordered waited.  Daveed loaded your suitcase after Craig put his in the trunk and got in, giving you two some privacy.

“Text me when you get home.  I’ll call you later, maybe facetime.”  Daveed felt something crazy in his chest at the thought of leaving you.

You nodded and tried to smile up at him, tears pricking your eyes. “I will. I might text you in the uber?”  You didn’t want to be away from him yet.

“Yeah, yeah. Do that. I’ll see you in four days.”

“Just four.” You searched his eyes.  “Ugh! I love you Daveed.”

“I love you too, Lindy.”  You reached up for a kiss and he picked you up to meet him. He put you down and you swallowed the lump in your throat.

“Bye.”

“Bye.”  You waved as he walked toward the black SUV.  You opened the door and then you saw him look back at you, eyes in full puppy dog mode.

You got in the uber, and Daveed got his bag situated and entered the back of the car.  He looked back and saw your uber pull out, his driver waiting for it to pass.  Then, he heard a knock on the other window.

The window rolled down and Daveed peered out at you, smiling.

“Did you mean it when you said I was welcome anytime?” Your smile was irresistible.

“Get that ass in this car, Baby Girl.” 

“Yes, Daddy.”

--------

Will Lindy and Daveed ever be able to be apart?  Is this a healthy relationship or are they going to fast?  Let me know. Please like, comment, and reblog!

Tagging:

@braidedchallah  @einfachniemand @sillyteecup  @ohsoverykeri @theselilwonders @theatrenerd86 @sebastianabucknettastan @riiyy @lonelydance  @biafbunny @summerofsnowflakes @delaber @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @janthonystan @elocinnicole @anh1020 @curtainremote

[sluttyten]

7 and 13 with Sicheng? 🐥

“You taste like fucking candy.“ +  “I-I just, I wasn’t expecting that. But I liked it. A lot.” + winwin

You’re not a baby, that’s for damn sure. But somehow, someway, your mother still managed to foist a babysitter on you when you were a full-grown adult living in a city far away from her.

You were sick, but not the kind of sick that medicine could fix. It was more of an emotional sickness than a physical one, and that was something your mother didn’t really understand.

“It’s your birthday, you can’t be sick.” She’d told you as soon as you answered the phone. “What about going out with your friends, having fun?”

But that was just the problem. Since moving to Seoul a couple months ago, you hadn’t truly made any real friends. There were acquaintances at work, but none of them even really knew it was your birthday, and they certainly weren’t about to throw a party for you. You just didn’t know how to tell that to your family, especially since you’d told them stories about your coworkers enough that they recognized the names and assumed they were your friends.

“Mom, I just don’t feel well today.” You repeated against her insistence of it’s your birthday! 

Truthfully it was because of all of this that you didn’t feel well. The loneliness weighed down your stomach like a physical stone resting in your belly, swelling with nausea every time that you remembered that it’s your birthday and you’re alone in a city that you don’t always feel that you belong in.

“Well, you shouldn’t be alone,” your mother says. “Call over one of your friends.”

Again, a pang in your belly. You bite your lip. “I don’t want anyone else to get sick.” The lie only makes it worse.

“You won’t get anyone sick, you’re being silly. If you won’t call over a friend, I’ll text that nice boy from your building and tell him to come over.” You can already hear her moving away from her phone, heading toward the old-fashioned book where she keeps track of important things.

“Mom, oh my God. No! That would be humiliating.” 

What’s worse than being completely alone on your birthday? Having your mom send a random guy who lives in your building to come hang out with you out of pity. You can still remember the bizarre panic and embarrassment that had swept through you in those first few days when you were moving in. Your mother had come with you just to help you get situated and make sure that the apartment was going to be nice like the pictures online. 

She’d gone out to get groceries on the second day while you tried setting up the wifi completely, and when she returned she was beaming and began telling you about the neighbor just two doors down who’d helped her when she dropped one of the bags, who was about your age and so handsome, and she’d told him all about her daughter who had just moved in upstairs. Somehow your sneaky mother had gotten his number just in case she ever couldn’t get in contact with you or if something happened to you and someone needed to contact her.

Or, you know, in case her daughter was lonely and she could humiliate you by contacting this neighbor you had never met, and asking him to come sit with you.

You were mortified.

“Mom! No!” You insisted again as you heard her stop flipping pages and make a quiet aha as she found the number she was looking for. “Mom, are you seriously–”

“You need to have someone with you on your birthday, even if you’re sick. Happy Birthday. Love you!” And she ended the call just like that.

Now you felt even worse than before, so to take your mind off of how you were potentially being embarrassed long-distance, you took a shower, but that just gave you more time to mull over things, so then you dressed and cleaned the apartment, scrubbing at a stubborn stain on the sofa, and then vacuuming and dusting.

And when you were just finished with that, about to sit down and watch a movie, there was a knock on your door.

She didn’t, you wanted to scream and you almost wanted to cry angry, embarrassed tears. 

Another knock, and then, “Y/N?”

It wasn’t a voice that you recognized, but when you came over to the peep hole in the door, you were stunned as you realized that you did know that face. But how did it know your name.

You opened the door to face WinWin of NCT and WayV fame.

He looked at you. You looked at him.

“Uhh, when you moved in, your mom asked for my number, and she just called to ask if I’d come check on you?” He rubbed at the back of his neck nervously. “She said you were sick.”

You could feel your face heating up. “Yeah. You really didn’t have to come check on me. You were probably busy and I really, really don’t want to get you sick.”

WinWin looked at you again, glancing up and down. “You don’t look sick.”

You sigh and lean against the door. “I’m not sick. Not really. I just told her that so she wouldn’t get upset that I’m alone on my birthday, because then I’d have to admit that I haven’t really made any friends since I moved here. And it’s pathetic enough that I’m explaining this to you, I don’t want to have to explain it to her too.”

“Well, you shouldn’t be alone on your birthday.” He says, and then he holds something out to you that you hadn’t noticed before. “The auntie who cooks for us made this for you when I told her about what your mom said. She says it’ll make you feel better. She also told me that if I don’t feed it to you and nurse you back to health myself, she’ll never let me forget it.”

“Did my mom say that or the auntie?” You ask, carefully taking the food parcel from WinWin. 

“My dorm auntie.” He smiles. “By the way, I can’t believe we’ve never met before. We live so close to each other, and if you’ve not seen me or the others before, I’m sure you’ve heard them. They get so loud.”

Sometimes late at night you’d heard happy shouts or music coming from somewhere nearby. And once you had thought you saw Kun, but he was wearing a hat and a mask and it was late, so you assumed your mind was playing tricks on you. Now you knew that it was most likely him you’d seen.

“Well, tell her thank you for the soup. And I’m sorry about all of this. I’ll tell my mom to delete her number, like, I’d really hoped that she would have lost it by now so that way nothing as embarrassing as this could ever happen.” You start to step back to close the door, but the look on WinWin’s face makes you pause.

WinWin clears his throat. “I can still keep you company, if you’d like? I’m serious, I don’t think you should be alone on your birthday unless that’s what you really want.” It’s not what you want, but you don’t want him to hang out with you if he’s just doing it out of pity. As if he hears your thoughts, WinWin says, “Also, that’s a lot of soup that she made. A lot more than one person can eat. And I might have candy that I’d be willing to share with you as a birthday present.”

“Alright.” You step back, this time holding the door open wider for him to come inside, and in a light, teasing voice, you say, “But only because of the candy.”

As you pulled your short coffee table closer to the sofa, clearing it off a bit to make room for the soup, you were glad you’d cleaned your apartment and showered. WinWin sat there on your sofa, looking around the place with interest. Suddenly you were very conscious of the paintings you’d hung on your walls, the basket of unfolded laundry sitting outside the bathroom door, and the movie you had queued up on the TV.

But thank God the stain was gone from the couch and everything else was neat and tidy, fresh as your clean cotton air freshener could make it.

You grabbed bowls and spoons from the kitchen, and as you ladled some soup into a bowl for WinWin, you told him, “You know, you really probably shouldn’t give your number out to just anyone. Even if she is a mother concerned about the future of her daughter.”

“Why?” WinWin looked up at you, thanking you softly as he takes the bowl from you. “She could be crazy? Or a sasaeng’s attempt at getting my number?”

Yes, those are exactly the reasons. 

“But if I hadn’t given her my number, then what are the chances that I’d get to be sitting here with you?” Your belly does a funny floppy fluttery feeling at his words. “Pretty low, if I had to guess. And that would be a shame because so far I feel like we could get along.”

“It’s probably because you’re a Scorpio.” You say before you realize. Your eyes go wide. “I just, I mean, I get along really well with Scorpios.”

WinWin looks at you sideways for a second. “So you are a fan?”

Again, a funny feeling mixed with nausea and embarrassment. “No, not really. Well, yes and no. I like your music, but it’s not like I obsess over you or anything like that. I’ve just seen stuff about your birthday, so I know you’re a Scorpio.” How do I make myself sound less crazy? you thought, looking down into your bowl of soup, praying that the whirls of steam will reveal the answer to you. 

“It’s not a bad thing if you’re a fan,” WinWin says after a moment. “Just as long as you’re not going to sell pictures of me or stories. Or try to sell some of my hair.” He grimaces, but then tries to hide it as he takes a spoonful of the soup. 

“I’m definitely not going to do that. I didn’t even know you lived here, I swear. And I definitely didn’t want you or anyone else coming to my apartment today. That was entirely my mother’s doing.” 

WinWin changes the subject, talking instead about the art on your walls, asking if you painted them yourself (you did), asking questions about you and how you like living in Seoul. You talk for a bit about how it is coming from somewhere so different to live here, how it’s not a culture shock necessarily, but getting used to living in a foreign country can be difficult. 

Any awkwardness you may have thought you were going to feel with him vanishes, and soon the soup is gone but the conversation continues and WinWin produces the promised candy from his pockets. It’s sticky and sweet and exactly what you needed. Even after the last candy wrapper is crumpled up beside the rest, WinWin stays, and it’s only as it’s getting late that his phone buzzes in his pocket and he has to leave, but not before you exchange numbers, so the next time you’re feeling lonely your mother doesn’t have to be the one to ask him to hang out with you.

And crazy as it may be, you do feel much better afterwards, though you’re not sure if it’s the soup, the company, the candy, or some combination of all three.

You almost passed him on the stairs a few days later.

“Hey.” WinWin’s voice is what caught your attention this time. You looked up so fast that your neck twinged, and you had to clutch onto the rail to keep from falling. WinWin reaches out too. “Woah, careful. Don’t fall because of me.”

“Thanks.” You rub your neck, hoping to soothe it. 

WinWin then digs a hand into his pocket and the next thing you know, he’s holding a piece of candy out to you. You give him a funny look, but you take it anyway. 

“What’s this for?” 

“Just to make you feel better.” WinWin comes to stand on your side of the steps as another person tries to walk down. “Something to keep you sweet.”

You laugh and smile and pretend like you’re not blushing. “Thank you.”

“Are you feeling better? Less sick?” WinWin asks. “Or is your mom going to call me again?”

“She should leave you alone. I told her to.” You unwrap the piece of candy and pop it into your mouth. “And I am feeling much better. It turned out to be a pretty good birthday.”

WinWin’s gaze was warm on your face, a slow smile growing across his face. “Any particular reason?”

“Oh, it was for sure all the candy.” You ball up the candy wrapper, roll it around in the palm of your hand until WinWin suddenly reaches out and pinches it between his fingers. His fingertips brush your palm, leaving a tingle behind under your skin. Distracted by that, your voice comes out a lot softer when you say, “And the soup. Maybe the company, but that’s yet to be decided.”

Your busy smiling at WinWin, so you don’t notice when somebody rounds the stairs behind you and clears their throat. WinWin starts, and turns his gaze at the intruder. Hendery’s standing there, staring at WinWin’s fingers in your palm, the candy wrapper that you’re both seeming to cling to.

“Are you coming?” Hendery asks. 

WinWin nods. “Yeah. A minute.” 

Hendery slowly leaves, and when you’re alone again, WinWin says, “I have to go.” He steps down a few steps, not breaking eye contact with you in a way that suddenly feels very intimate. Before he turns away, he says, “You know, if you’re not going to let your mom contact me to come hang out with you, you could text me. I’ve got more candy, if you want it.”

As if you need the candy to want to hang out with WinWin. He’s handsome and funny and nice, sweet and smart and fun to talk to. 

From somewhere down below in the building, you hear a door open and close. 

“Go,” you tell him. “I’ll see you around.”

WinWin smiles and then dashes away down the stairs to catch up with Hendery.

Every time you see WinWin after that, he hands you a piece of candy. Sometimes more than one. Even if you’re only passing on the stairs or in the hall outside your apartments and neither of you has time to stop and chat, he’ll pass you a piece of candy and a smile. When you actually do text him and ask if he wants to come over, he brings candy. Once you even ran into him when you were coming home from a grocery run and he was stopping to grab some food from the place around the corner, and even then he had candy to give to you.

It was weeks or months later when you finally brought it up to him.

You were sitting together on the floor of your apartment. WinWin was leaned back with his head resting against the sofa, his eyes closed as he groaned about how full he was. You were still picking at what remained of the take out, but you were feeling pretty full too, and if the food continued sitting there, you knew you were just going to pick at it until you were miserably full.

So you started to clean up, gathering empty cola bottles, glasses, the food containers and napkins. And then you noticed a piece of candy sitting right there on top of your phone. 

You sigh and pick up the piece of candy. “What’s this?”

WinWin cracks open an eye to see what you’re talking about. He frowns. “A piece of candy. Like usual.”

“You know, you don’t have to give me candy every time you see me. I promise you, the candy is not why I like seeing you.” You hope he knows that every time you’ve said that the candy is why you let him in that first night, that was a lie. The candy is not what keeps you coming back to him. 

“I like giving you candy.” WinWin says. “Keeps you sweet.”

You wrinkle your nose at that cheesy line. 

WinWin leans forward then and plucks the candy from your fingers. “Fine, no more candy for you then.”

“No! I didn’t say I don’t want the candy.” You whine and reach for it, but he pulls it farther out of your reach. 

He holds it out of your reach, and you crawl toward him, stretching your arm up but your fingers only reach his wrist. WinWin laughs, and you watch as he nimbly unwraps the candy with just his one hand without dropping it. And then quickly, he brings it down. You move to intercept it, but then he closes his hand completely around it. 

“Do you want it?” WinWin teases. You nod. WinWin jerks his chin. “Okay, sit back. Open your mouth.”

You do just that, sitting back on your heels right beside his knee, and WinWin holds the candy out, making airplane noises at you like your a child. He flies it toward your mouth in a zig-zagging pattern, and you’re not about to try to chase it now, but then it’s so close, right there within your grasp, and you move forward. 

Your lips bump into his fingers, but it’s too late. WinWin jerks his hand back, pops the candy into his own mouth, and his lips curl into a victorious smile.

“That’s not fair!” You sit closer, so close to him that when he opens his mouth, you can almost smell the sweetness of the candy. “That was mine!” 

WinWin laughs and takes your hand. 

For a second you forget all about the candy. All that matter is his warm hand on yours, and your heart races trying to catch up with your mind which is jetting off into all sorts of different scenarios, down curious pathways. 

WinWin presses something into your palm and curls your fingers around it. “I have more candy.” His words are soft, sweet, wrapped in a layer of affection you’ve never noticed before. “I’ve always got more candy for you.”

As soon as his hand leaves yours, you unwrap the candy and pop it into your mouth, savoring it on your tongue. It’s the same candy it’s always been, but somehow it tastes sweeter.

One of the others lets you into their apartment when you show up at the door. By this point, they all recognize you as the neighbor that WinWin keeps spending all of his time with when they’re not working. He’s not there now, but he will be soon, and you didn’t feel like waiting around in your apartment for him, so since he’d recently told you that you were welcome over at his place whenever you wanted, here you were.

And oddly, none of the other guys seemed to find anything strange about that. 

You were just showed to the room that belonged to WinWin and someone else, neither of them were there at the moment, so you sat on the bed that was WinWin’s and you waited.

Looking around, you could see what in the space was his, what parts of it he’d made his own. And the more you looked around, the more you wondered, where did he hide his candy stash?

You didn’t want to look around through his things, being nosy and invading his privacy was not the reason you’d come over. However, it had been a few days since you saw him last, and you were craving just a taste of sugar. It didn’t really take long. You just took a peek under his bed, and there you found storage box that had a large bag of candy in it as well as some other snacks. 

You couldn’t help it. You quickly dug out a handful of candy, unwrapped them, and stuffed them in your mouth, shoving the evidence in the pocket of your sweatshirt as you fell back onto the bed to enjoy your mouthful of stolen candy. 

Several minutes later, you were still like that when WinWin came inside his room. He looked a bit worn out, a little rattled, and when he looked at you he seemed calmer.

“Hey.” You sat up, and in a light voice, you asked, “How was your day?”

He didn’t answer, not with his words anyway.

WinWin walked toward you, dumped his bag beside the bed, and put his hands to your cheeks, and drew your mouth to his in a bruising kiss. You gasped, opening up to him, and WinWin deepened the kiss, pressing you flat on the bed.

Part of you wondered if you’d somehow fallen asleep, if this was a dream? Because this had come out of nowhere. Hadn’t it?

You kissed him back, slowing it down and softening the kiss. WinWin makes a low moan that you echo back at him.

“You taste like fucking candy,” WinWin murmurs. He kisses you again, touching his tongue against yours in a way that has you squirming and making another little sound of pleasure. “So sweet. Hmm.” WinWin sits up then, runs his fingers through his hair, and suddenly frowns down at you. “I haven’t seen you in a few days. Why do you taste like candy so much?”

Tucking your hands into your sweatshirt pocket, you shake your head. “I don’t know. Maybe that’s just how I taste.”

WinWin shakes his head. “I don’t think that’s it.”

He leans over you again, and you laugh, place a hand to his chest. “Might I ask what brought this on? Not that I’m complaining about you kissing me. At all.” You can feel his heartbeat pounding against your palm, and it picks up again as he looks back at your lips.

“Don’t try to change the subject.” WinWin leans in again, and this time when he kisses you it’s just so gentle, his lips caressing yours, a hand cradling the back of your neck.

Your hand slips under his shirt, and he makes a strange but cute sound, shivering when you curl your fingers against his hip. “WinWin, why–?”

There’s a soft crinkling noise as WinWin touches your belly. He breaks the kiss, looks down at your sweatshirt, and then his hand plunges into your pocket, and draws out the crumpled up wrappers. “Mm, that’s what I thought. You found my sweet stash?”

“Yeah.” You tilt your chin, and WinWin crushes his mouth to yours again, the candy wrappers cascading from his fingers. “WinWin, really, what’s brought this on?” You ask between kisses.

“You make me happy.” WinWin strokes your cheek. “My day was kinda not great, but you make me happy. And I’ve been holding myself back, thinking that you don’t like me too. You just like me for my candy. But today, today I needed something happy, and here you were waiting for me.” He kissed you again, and this time you loop your arms around his neck.

You’re still kissing when the door opens. The floor creaks then creaks again and the door closes. 

“Oops, your roommate’s probably scarred now.” You laugh. 

“That’s okay,” WinWin says. He kisses you again. “Now he knows to leave us alone.”

You put a hand on his chest, pushing him back slightly as he moves forward to make out with you once again, and this time he pauses and looks down at you, your face all blushed and you a little out of breath. 

“Are you okay?” WinWin pushes your hair back behind your ear. 

You nod, twist your fingers in his shirt. “Yeah, just a little out of breath.”

WinWin moves off of you anyway. He rolls off the bed, and for a second you hear him rummaging around beneath it, and then he reappears. 

“For you.” He holds out a candy to you. 

You laugh and take it, unwrap it and pop it into your mouth, puckering as it’s a sour one that really hits you. You squeeze your eyes shut and shake your head, reaching out to lightly punch at WinWin as he laughs and slides back up onto the bed with you. 

“Sour?” WinWin cradles your cheek, his thumb tracing the shape of your puckered lips. 

“A little bit.” You shake your head and swallow. He offers you another candy, and this one is sweet. 

You’re in the middle of taking a bath when you mother calls. The bath was nice and relaxing before, filled with bubbles and a pretty flowery scent. The free-standing bathtub had been your favorite feature of the apartment when you moved in, and it still was one of your favorite things about the place.

She didn’t really want anything in particular, just to talk at a time of day that would work out for both of you. You chatted for a bit, talking about work and life and how you were going to make dinner after this call was over since you were in the bath at the moment. 

You run your fingers through the bubbles, scooping some of them up and blowing them around the room while you listen to your mother telling you about what her neighbor’s have been doing, which is apparently something gossip-worthy. 

That’s the exact moment that WinWin decides to make use of the key that you recently lent him to your apartment. You hear the distant sound of him sitting down his keys and his phone on your table.

And then his voice echoes through the space as he calls your name.

Your mother’s story stammers to a halt. “Who’s that?” She asks as WinWin calls your name again. You groan, but your mother ignores that and excitedly says, “Do you have a boyfriend? Wait, is that your handsome neighbor?”

“Mom, oh my God. No. I have to go.” You end the call, stabbing at the screen with a soapy finger. “I’m in the bath, WinWin, I’ll be out in--”

Before you can say anything else, he’s come around the corner, right in clear view of you through the open bathroom door. You’d been alone just a minute ago, not expecting anyone over, so you hadn’t bothered to close the door as you usually didn’t. 

You check your phone again, making sure that the call with your mom is ended, and then you sink lower into the bath, fully covering your body in bubbles, leaving only your head just above. 

“WinWin.” When you say his name, a few bubbles blow loose, drifting in his direction. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I just wanted to come see you.” He stands in the doorway, leans against the doorjamb, and tries to not stare directly at you. “I was going to ask you if you wanted to grab dinner, but you’re clearly busy.”

You lift a bubbly hand and curl it over the edge of the tub. His eyes land on it and can’t seem to move away. “I’m just finishing the bath. I’m definitely not too busy to go to dinner with you. Especially if...”

“If what?” WinWin looks back up to your eyes again.

In a small voice, you say, “If it’s a date?”

Since that day when you’d made out on his bed at his apartment for the better part of an hour, you hadn’t done anything like that again. Things were almost just normal, just friends. That had been weeks ago, but there was still tension between you, an awkwardness but a strong connection that was just unaddressed. 

“If you want it to be a date.” WinWin’s lips curl up in a shy smile.

You nod. “Can you hand me the towel?” You point over at the towel hanging a few feet away, just out of reach. 

WinWin takes a few tentative steps inside, and then he grabs the towel, and as he hands it over to you, his fingers meet your slick skin. Instead of moving back, WinWin stays there for another long moment, his eyes run over your face, lingering on your lips. 

“WinWin.” His name leaves your lips as a whisper, but it is enough.

He touches his fingers just beneath your chin, tilting your mouth up to perfectly slot against his in a new, heart-stopping kiss. 

You push a soapy hand into his hair, fingers running against his neck, leaving bubbly trails behind, drawing him more deeply into the kiss. He sits on the side of the tub, his hand drifting lower until it’s sunken below the bubbles, his fingers resting on your shoulder. You drop your hand down, twist it in the bottom of his shirt, and give a tug, trying to get him closer to you.

In just an instant, he loses his balance, and comes sliding into your bath.

“Oh, shit!” WinWin laughs. 

The room fills with disturbed bubbles. Water splashes over the sides of the tub. WinWin soaks in the water, his mouth barely pulled away from yours, and his denim-clad ass rests between your legs. 

“I’m sorry.” You laugh and stroke a hand over his hair. “Are you okay?” 

“Can’t say I’ve ever been better,” WinWin says. He closes the small space between you and him, pulling you into another kiss. You cling to him, kissing him back hungrily, desperately, and you shift, moving your legs out from under him just enough that you can throw one of them over his lap. 

You draw yourself up. The cool air bites into your damp, bare skin, but the bubbles cling to you just enough that although WinWin’s eyes are wide, drinking in the sight of you, he can’t make out anything more than he’s really seen before. “WinWin,” you whisper his name again. As you rise fully up onto your knees, he brings his legs into the tub, shifting around so you can comfortably settle down onto his lap.

The soaked denim, the bubbles, the warm water and his sinking hands feel strange on your body, but at the same time, the feel of his thigh beneath your pussy drives you wild. 

You press your bare chest against his, and you rub your pussy over his thigh with a whimper.

“Oh God.” WinWin looks at your face. “You’re so perfect, you know?”

“Shut up.” You kiss him. “I want you, need you.” Your hands fumble beneath the water, trying to undo his pants, and when WinWin realizes what you’re doing, his hands dip down to help you. His pants come open beneath your fingers, and then there’s his dick, hard and throbbing at your touch.

WinWin groans. You cover his mouth with yours to keep him quiet, a hand curling against the back of his neck, and the other you keep working at his dick beneath the bubbles until he’s fully hard, swearing between kisses until finally he pulls back just enough to tell you, “Please, I want to be inside you already.”

You lift up and then sit down on him, sinking down slowly to the sound of WinWin’s half-swallowed moans. 

It’s strange feeling his clothes wet against your skin, his dick long and so good inside you, and his mouth caresses yours, his hands brush away the bubbles from your skin, leaving more and more of your bare to his eyes and touch. You shiver when his thumbs traces the curve of your breast, when it swirls in towards your nipple, so by the time he reaches your nipple it’s a hard peak awaiting his touch.

You let out a squeal as he tweaks your nipple, and WinWin smiles into the kiss and does it again. You grip his shoulder, rising up just to drop back down on him, kissing his sweet moan from his lips. 

Each move you make as you ride him sends ripples, swallowing down the bubbles slowly. WinWin’s hands hurry the process along, as he touches you moving the bubbles around. 

“God, you’re so fucking pretty.” WinWin tells you, his hand on your hips helping keep your rhythm steady as you grow tired of riding him. “After that day, I just thought you didn’t want anything to do with me. You didn’t make any moves like you wanted me.”

“Are you kidding?” You moan as he rocks his hips up against yours. “I’ve been dreaming about having you like this for weeks now. When you kissed me, God, WinWin, it awoke something in me and I just wanted to have you fuck me.” You cry out, and the sound echoes around the bathroom. “I’ve had all kinds of dreams.”

His hold on you tightens, bouncing you up and down on his dick. “As much as I’d love to hear them, I don’t know if I can take it at the moment. I’m close. You’re so warm and tight on me. Do you want me to cum inside?”

Your clit rubs against the fastening of his jeans and he fills you up so well, and at the thought of him cumming inside of you, you feel a tightening in your belly. You’re on birth control, so you’ll be fine, plus you want it so much. 

“Cum inside me, WinWin. Oh, please, oh God.” You sink down to have him fully within you, and you swirl your hips in circles, your clit against that fastening of his pants, his dick rubbing against your G spot. “I want to feel you cum inside me.”

WinWin swears and bucks up into your heat a few times, and then he orgasms, shooting his load inside your pussy. You desperately rock yourself on his dick, pushing yourself nearer and nearer until a last it overwhelms you, your orgasm unraveling you in one quick moment.

You slump forward against him, heart racing, and you move on him a few more times, just getting the most out of it that you can until your energy leaves you, and you just bury your face into his shoulder.  

“Are you okay?” WinWin cradles the back of your head. 

“I-I just, I wasn’t expecting that. But I liked it. A lot.” You sigh softly. “I thought I’d just have a nice relaxing bath, wrap up and make something to eat for myself. Tonight turned out so much nicer.”

“It was nice, right? But I guess we’ll have to put a hold on dinner. For a little while at least.” WinWin brushes his fingers down your spine. “My clothes are a little too damp to go out to dinner.”

You draw his mouth to yours again, just leaving a little kiss. “I have a machine that dries clothes, believe it or not. If you just want to take your clothes off I can get you dry in no time.”

“I think you just want to get me naked, actually.” WinWin laughs. He pushes lightly at your hips, and you lift up off of him, stand to let the water sluice down your body, the last of the bubbles sliding away and leaving you totally visible for him. You grab up the towel from where you’d dropped it on the floor ages ago, and you wrap it around yourself, carefully stepping out of the tub. WinWin groans. “You’re so cute. Your butt, I mean.”

You swat a hand at him. “Get out of the tub. Take you clothes off. I’ll dry them for you, and I’m sure we can find something else to do while we wait for the to dry.”

As you walk toward the door, you hear him splashing out of the tub. There’s the wet slap of his shirt hitting the tile floor, and you turn to look over your shoulder just before you step out of the bathroom. 

WinWin catches you looking, so he winks your way, and you hurry to your room to put some clothes on. You rummage around, looking for anything you think he could wear while you dry his clothes for him. There isn’t, and it doesn’t seem to matter to him because you turn around from searching your clothes, and see him standing comfortably in the doorway with just a towel around his waist.

“I have something for you.” He says.

You eye his towel, but WinWin grips it tighter around him. 

“Not that. Here.” He holds out his hand, revealing a piece of candy in a soggy wrapper. “It’s a little wet, but I brought it for you.”

You take the candy, but you won’t eat it, not after it soaked in your bathwater. “How about we make some dinner, dry your clothes, and have a night in?”

Cooking while half-naked turns out to be a bad idea. The towel grows loose, you grow distracted, and you end up almost burning the food when you get a bit handsy and make out with your hand beneath his towel. But you wipe your hand clean on the towel, and sit down together to eat on the sofa, curl up to watch a movie together, and forget all about everything else but each other.

[gesternchen]

Just randomly reviewing scenes from the movies no one remembers now. This week: Avatar (2009).

It’s not like everyone forgot James Cameron’s Avatar. Since we’re still getting some footage from behind the scenes of the sequel and news about the cast, at least someone takes pains to remind themselves of this cinematic experience from the year of 2009. It’s already been 84 (just kidding, 11) years and I’m still looking forward to at least watching the teaser (fun fact: I was 11 when Avatar came out, I’m 22 now). I even bought the Darkhorse comic book on Tsu’Tey’s backstory to, you know, investigate one of my favorite characters a little bit better (spoiler: the backstory wasn’t very much eventful but I noticed a nice detail there which I may talk about briefly a bit later).

Throughout the years Avatar has received a lot of backlash and more or less justified criticism, mainly for the plot and its problematic packaging. I believe, it depends on the perspective one watches a movie from. Of course, I wouldn’t call it an absolute gem of exciting storytelling, even though I truly enjoy it, as in majority its twists are undeniably predictable. However, I always disagreed with people saying relations in Avatar aren’t deep at all. Well, romance between Jake and Neytiri, which, let’s be honest, except for the scene of telling the truth, went too smoothly, and this is why I strongly believe clash of interests is inevitable in sequels. Their interaction remained the key one for the whole movie, and nothing is bad about that, people enjoy a nice lovestory, so do I. But 11 years after I’d like to focus on the disturbing conflict everyone prefers to ignore for some reason when recalling Avatar. For me it’s always been Jake versus Colonel Quaritch.

You guys may have already guessed which scenes I wanna talk about. Those really important ones that I consider climactic to the pace of narration. And what is more about them, they give us crucial details in character development and actors’ play to think through. The main message: Quaritch knew it was coming.

Let me firstly touch upon the scene of short conversation between Jake and Quaritch prior to Sully presumably leaving Pandora. While Jake is awating Quaritch in a large empty hall, he hardly seems to be calm about the talk, every nerve in his body is trembling, but why?

The way Jake’s drumming his fingers on the table makes me wonder if he’s okay.

Then Colonel enters the hall, grabs a chair and reminds that it had been more than two weeks since he got the latest report on how the misson was going. He knows, Sully is questioning reality, and no, he’s not ‘doubting his resolve’. He knows, the right moment to ‘terminate the mission’ is missed. He knows, he lost Jake. He knows, he’s talking to the deserter. Yet Quaritch speaks indifferent. He praises Jake’s effort and rewards him for that. With real legs he promised to him when they first talked. Quaritch hoped they’d trigger the realization in Jake. Which doesn’t happen. How sad he looks when Jake openly refuses to accept the reward.

In just one sequence Stephen’s face demonstrates the shift of all four feelings Quaritch goes through: dissatisfaction, melancholy, shame, disgust.

Quaritch sensed the moment when Jake expressed superiority to the mankind. Jake grasped that Quaritch knew everything, he played with fire, and that’s why he felt anxiety. And it lasted all the way until Quaritch stepped back for leaving the hall. But did Colonel really surrender? I doubt that.

The tension between them both feels electric, so it’s explainable why Jake’s transient smile is so awkward. Sam then heavily staring straight at Colonel's back suggests that up until now Jake regarded Quaritch as his enemy. The enemy he knew he would not be able to defeat.

I remember when watching this scene, I couldn’t get myself the answer to one question. The question was: which report did Quaritch refer to? ‘That report from two weeks ago’, but such information wasn’t satisfactory for me. To be honest, this small discovery became the actual reason why I decided to type this study. Let’s assume that this particular report which Quaritch mentioned was the videolog where Jake confessed that Omaticaya wouldn’t leave the Hometree. Here’s why.

The general audience is used to perceiving Quaritch as a cruel short-tempered military man who just waits for the starting pistol’s shot to destroy everything in sight. Again, nothing is wrong about this, the fact that his character was simply meant to be a generic personification of such type doesn’t leave us with any alternative impression of him. Let’s say, if he was given the order to ignite the operation of the Hometree’s destruction to screw the tribe out of the site, he would absolutely go for it (and so he does). He’s a man of his word after all. Let’s also say, if he was pissed off by Jake’s betrayal, he would transport himself to the mountain site in a blink of an eye, turn off the link and put Jake in jail right after the talk in the hall. Instead, Quaritch decided to wait and give Jake the last chance. Jake preffered unearthly wings to those more tangible, so Quaritch chose not to cut them so abruptly.

We’re moving to the next scene, taking place right before a toned down fight between Tsu’Tey and Jake (I’m saying so, because it’s actually one of the deleted scenes that got edited out of the final cut, and believe me, the pressure between two rivals there is way too intense). Quaritch is watching the record of Jake destroying bulldozer’s lenses with a stone. After that Jake’s face is zoomed and we watch Selfridge get frustrated, Quaritch looks pretty annoyed as well but doesn’t seem to be much surprised. What he’s feeling, is bitter disappointment in himself and knowing that he totally failed to persuade Jake to change his mind.

Just observe Stephen Lang’s performance here. He absolutely nails cold-eyed look, the fire burning slow inside of him is so palpable, and guess what, in a flash he flies off the handle.

Now, shall we check the ultimate scene, preceding the destruction of the Hometree. Though Grace versus Parker juxtaposition is central to this scene, the last time Quaritch confronting Jake face to face in his human body is essential to consider for making things clear.

When it comes to revealing to Selfridge the vainness of further negotiations with Omaticaya, isn’t it just interesting how fast Quaritch manages to find the correct videolog? It literally takes him not more than a couple of swipes to produce the proof. Here is why: he’s already watched the record and is completely aware of the Jake’s values having deteriorated.

You can tell, Jake knew he was under control, but he would rather like to ingnore this fact. His pathetic glance at Quaritch, who’s almost impending above his head, causes to think Jake would guess that Colonel could have watched this videolog. Rather, it was a mutual secret between the two of them until a turning point. But the moment of truth came, and Jake didn’t change his mind. Quaritch made sure of that and finally it was his time to triumph.

So how was it even possible to assume Quaritch may have watched the videolog I’ve been talking about for so long? Well, my explanation may be too easy to believe, but still: we can tell by Jake’s appearance and the date of the record that it is the vlog we need.

This telltale videolog was recorded 16 minutes after the another one, when Jake says that he’s uncertain, who he is anymore (LST abbreviation stands for Local Standard Time). Jake might have suddenly felt depressed and hopeless and got back to the camera while being too emotionally instable, and so must have forgotten to delete the final record.

I have one more note for you. If you check the videolog library Quaritch is swiping through, you’ll see that the latest important record, which he actually needs, is made in the interior of the mountain site block and dates back to August, 13. Other recent vlogs’ covers look nothing like Site 26 sequence. Jake may not have done any of these records at the mountain site. I still wonder though where those three or four ensuing videologs were recorded, the location seems to be red lighted, which means it isn’t blue lighting at Site 26. I may even assume he recorded some pieces at Hell’s Gate. Why would I think so? Probably because in those two scenes (dialog with Quaritch and confession at Parker’s office) Jake looks ten times better than before, he gained some weight at least and doesn’t resemble a living sceleton.

Selfridge gave Jake an hour to relocate the tribe, while gunships led by Colonel’s Dragon were already on full alert. Quaritch had no doubt that Jake’s peacekeeping mission would fail. He knew it from the beginning. Hence he sounds so sarcastic seeing Sully’s avatar tied.

Now Quaritch sipping his villain’s morning coffee tasting like fresh genocide doesn’t feel so cringy: he’s celebrating his victory over Jake (still I should agree with critisism on this point, it really is a stupid cliche and wasn’t intended to carry a deep meaning).

Now I should admit, it’s been a long journey to run this investigation and bring it to light by finally posting it. It took me around a day to collect my thoughts and express them by means of more or less readable English. Just would like to make a little side note: English is not my native, so I promise I did my best! Thanks to James Cameron for making a movie, which woke me up in the middle of the night to start reflecting, and to all the fans out there who still exist and remember this movie and so can read this essay. @avatarmovies I found your blog not so long ago and you guys say you enjoy headcanons (and movie reviews probably?..), so it would be nice if you reblogged this but I’m not insisting!!

[doomed-syko]

thank you so much for the tag @carmccannt 🖤💕

1. why did you choose your url?

actually, i don’t really know anymore haha. what i know is that it wasn’t my first url for this blog (the first one was probably tøp related; shame on me) and i do still know what it’s referenced. when i chose this url i was in a pretty heavy bring me the horizon phase (i still am, who am i kidding?) and their song doomed was on repeat for me at that time. the syko comes from oli sykes twitter name, which is @/olobersyko… long explanation i know

2. any sideblogs?

no, not really. i have one url saved but i don’t actually use it, but i’ve thought about maybe making a sideblog

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

tbh? i have no clue. i’ve had this blog for probably two, maybe two and a half years at this point? (the first post i made on here was in february 2019 i’m pretty sure) but i’ve had a blog before this which i deleted at some point (huge fucking regret) so i would say i’ve been on tumblr probably since late 2017/early 2018?? really no clue sorry

4. do you have a queue tag?

probably? i don’t actually use it tho because i always forget lol 😅

5. why did you start this blog in the first place?

to post and read about anything regarding tøp lol, which over the last years turned into me talking about basically anything i’m obsessed with at the moment and posting some of my writing here and there

6. why did you choose your icon?

because i’m very fucking bisexual and very in love with robert keating and anaïs gallagher… i remember when she posted this picture in colour (because it only existed in b&w before) because inhaler twitter lost their goddamn minds lol

7. why did you choose your header?

i quite like a matching layout (i blame twitter) and i didn’t want anything too busy as my header so i opted for the dark burgundy red with my url on it

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

probably just one where i thirsted over sweaty van mccann…

9. how many mutuals do you have?

honestly? idk. i have the tendency to not follow people back for the simple reason that i honestly and truly just forget to do it, oops… so i can’t name and count them all but they probably know who they are and they are very loved by me and all deserve a huge kiss xx

10. how many followers do you have?

253… which first of all: thank you so fucking much, second: why the fuck do you guys follow me 😅 like that’s so many people huh

11. how many people do you follow?

62 ranging from catb related blogs over marvel fic writers to mcr update blogs lol

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

all the time omg. a lot of my tumblr posts are just my last two brain cells fighting to survive while creating dumb memes and making stupid one liners

13. how often do you use tumblr a day?

idk probably between 5 to 10 times a day? it just really depends. there are days i’m rarely on here (for just like a minute before i close the app again and don’t look at it for the rest of the day) and sometimes i can spend hours browsing tumblr… still not as bad as twitter because i just checked and i spend almost 18 hours on there on average this week 💀💀

14. did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

no and i hope it stays that way. i’ve only had good interactions on this hell site so far lol

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

depend on what it’s about in the end of the day. if it’s something that’s very important to me i’ll probably reblog it

16. do you like tag games?

i love LOVE tag games!! especially if it has anything to do with favourite artist or music in general! tag me as much as you want i’ll probably do them even if i did them before (if i don’t forget to do it haha)

17. do you like ask games?

YES SO MUCH!! i rarely get tagged in them but pls keep em coming!!

18. which one of your mutuals is tumblr famous?

i’ve i had to pick one person it would probably be @pacifymebby because i don’t know if she realizes how well known she is outside of tumblr/wattpad but believe me she’s basically carrying catb wattpad/catb fanfic tumblr on her back!! (i’ve had conversations on fucking twitter about this before actually) she has also super kind and has on many occasions complicated my music taste which makes her automatically fucking cool hehe… besides that, i feel like especially on catb tumblr the core people are pretty well known around :)

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

no, not really because i don’t know you all enough and the ones i do know are people i consider very good/close friends!!

this took long but it was very fun (that kinda rhymes lol). i’m tagging: @itwontalwaysbelikethiss @fenderenderender and @pacifymebby (don’t be pressured tho, if you don’t wanna do it that’s totally fine xx)

[grayintogreen]

I was not technically tagged, but at least two people on my dash were like DO WHAT YOU WANT NO ONE IS YOUR GOD, and you know what? They’re right and valid. 

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

96! And 90% of them are from just this year. Can’t wait to find out what the big 100 is gonna be. Any one of my WIPS could be Disney’s next 100th fic.

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

455,024 (also mostly from this year...)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

In my entire life??? Since I was twelve??? I don’t even know, man. I wrote a lot of ooc crackfic and fic for cartoons when I was on FF.net, and then I was on LJ and wrote for a TON of different fandoms, but on AO3, I have written for Critical Role (so much CR), Yashahime/Inuyasha, Guardians of the Galaxy, His Dark Materials (TV), Steven Universe, Bleach, Alias, Supernatural, Dollhouse, Pushing Daisies (the last four were all transferred here from LJ, though)

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

- turning wine back into water (Critical Role, de-aging fic with plot, 30457 words)

I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE HOW POPULAR THIS FIC IS. It beat out two of my super popular GotG fics that have been up since 2017 BY A LOT. Apparently, there was a market for the Mighty Nein being adorable cocktail brats and saving the world. Thanks, Liam’s Quest!

It is probably one of the most wholesome fics I will ever write too. I love it.

- Sunshine Came Softly (Guardians of the Galaxy, Rocket and Mantis friendship, 3188 words)

THIS FIC STILL GETS HITS EVEN TODAY. It was written right after I saw the movie so it hit hard and fast on the hype train. 

- Mine Is Just a Slower Sacrifice (Guardians of the Galaxy, Rocket-centric, 2248 words)

BOY YOU CAN TELL THESE FICS ARE ANCIENT BECAUSE I HADN’T DEVELOPED MY TITLE NICHE YET. where are the lower caps and Seanan McGuire lyrics!!

Anyway, this was written probably IMMEDIATELY after I saw the movie and had to process Rocket’s emotions during the last moments, because of who I am as a person. For what’s mostly a character study, it got some mileage on it.

- they drink dreamers up like brandy (Critical Role, 1625 words)

Back to Critical Role! I wrote this one when I was in a fucking blind post-finale haze and producing massive amounts of Kingsley content and I wanted to write a silly fic about Caleb being tiefling catnip. 

- if adversity breeds character (we’ve character enough for two) (Critical Role, Beau and Molly-centric, 1824 words)

I feel like most of my most kudos-ed CR fics are Beau-related, which is funny because I never really wrote her EVER. I guess I need to write her more often. ANYWAY, this one got jossed immediately after 141, but I needed to write Beau and Molly bantering and I couldn’t get her flipping him off after revealing her card is Rumor out of my head.

(Incidentally my sixth most kudos-ed fic is my Fjorester next gen fic, WHICH I WAS NOT EXPECTING AT ALL. IT’S A FIC BASED ON MY OC FANCHILDREN!! I’M VERY EMOTIONAL ABOUT THAT!!)

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Usually!! There are times when I forget and then it’s been so long that I never go back, but I like responding to comments. They make me so happy and I want to make sure the people who take the time to comment know that I see them and appreciate them. Especially if they give me long comments. You long commenters know who you are and I value you and also flail incoherently in your direction.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

God, probably this church takes no conversions simply because, like, the whole ending scenes are MISERABLE AND FULL OF ANGST and then it has the hopeful ending that is actually a bullshit lie.

But second place probably goes to what couldn’t i offer, what couldn’t i give, which is just misery porn in disguise as a character study. Sorry, Cree.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Okay, so back in the day when I was a tineh fanbrat I wrote a lot of self-indulgent crossovers featuring my friends and I in true Mary Sue format being ~saviors of the world~ alongside our favorite fictional characters and after I grew out of that, I very rarely did it again, because as someone who can only write AUs if they’re high concept and can only write crossovers if the canon welding is pristine, it’s difficult.

I have ideas for some! I just haven’t written them yet. Or they’re sitting in Google Docs partially written.

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not to my recollection, which is insane, because I’ve written some things in my youth that deserved it, but also I was a kid, so maybe I definitely did not deserve it. Don’t send hate to kids!!

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

The first smut I ever posted on AO3 involved some fucking American Gods flesh horror shit, so that answers your second question.

Basically, yes, but I write smut to facilitate character development in a way that regular story beats can’t, mainly with characters who are in some way deeply fucked up and have unbalanced dynamics. 

So basically chances of me writing smut that isn’t Creecien or Lucigast? Very low. (I haven’t written Lucigast smut yet but I will. Inevitably.)

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that anyone’s told me, but one time when I was a teenager someone ripped off an entire group messageboard RP I was in and tried to pass it off as a fic they wrote.

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that anyone’s told me!

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I tried and it did not work out, because of (non-wanky) reasons, but it’s just not something I’d be very good at. I was the kid who wanted to work alone on group projects. I’m bad at group work.

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

That I’ve WRITTEN??? Because that at least narrows it down significantly. Sesshoumaru/Rin hands down. It’s a good dynamic and they’re fun and sad at the same time. 

My self-indulgent ass does also enjoy writing Creecien though. I’m putting it out there because I want it.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

GOD POOR SUPERNOVAS OF ALL SOUND AND LIGHT. THAT FIC COULD’VE BEEN A CONTENDER, but I unfortunately posted it RIGHT BEFORE the White Diamond episodes aired and it became so jossed by canon so fast that I gave up on life with chapter two half finished. I need to delete it but I can’t bring myself to bury my shame.

15) What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and meta-narrative and character-specific stuff. I go into every story with CHARACTER FIRST mentality, which is how I end up writing so many damn character studies or why my word counts explode. I’m just out here naval gazing because I love character stuff SO MUCH.

I’ve been told I’m good at fight/action scenes too, which... Shocks me, but I think watching and playing a lot of D&D stuff has really improved how I write fighting and action sequences.

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

[whispers] too much naval gaze. dial it back, bitch. 

I get really caught up in character stuff and forget to do important things like ADVANCE THE SCENE OR DESCRIBE THE SCENE OR LITERALLY ANYTHING. I also don’t think my prose is all that great, but I’m pretty sure every writer feels that imposter syndrome bullshit, so /waves hands. All I’m saying is I have seen some writers on AO3 who are writing some fucking vivid imagery and stringing flawless sentences together and weaving introspection and description together like beautiful baskets and they are stronger than any US Marine and I salute them and wish to be them.

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Iiii try not to. There’s times where I want to throw in, like, a little Zemnian for Caleb flair, but I try to stick to things that are either untranslatable (like German compound words), common phrases (like please or come here), or insults/curses/ pet names. Things that I don’t think Google will fucking lie to me about.

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I think it was a Sailor Moon crackfic about Haruka being forced to enter a beauty pageant which was just a blatant rip-off of Ms Congeniality and oh my god was it awful. I don’t even wanna talk about it.

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

this church takes no conversions, probably BECAUSE it’s my little red-headed stepchild of a fic involving so many things that are just never going to make it popular (backstory fic, fic that is almost 85% headcanon, doesn’t involve popular characters, etc.), but godDAMMIT I love that fic so much. It was fun and I use every bit of that headcanon in almost everything like it’s my job.

shattered stage is a close second, because it was such a crazy concept for a fic that I PULLED OFF SOMEHOW and is this wonderful mix of crazy plot and character and lore and my three favorite tieflings having to work together. And also Jayne Merriweather as the main villain. 

A lot of love went into both of those fics and they are my babies. this time next year we’ll see if I add Creedemption and shoot at fate to this list- probably. All of my epic long fics resolve to be my babies because I spent so much time on them, and I have to love them and cherish them because I raised them into gigantic wordy attempts to write a doorstopper.

[chelsfic]

The Hot List, in which the NYC Familiar Discord Ranks their Masters - Nandor x Guillermo Fanfic (one-shot, crack!)

Summary: The familiars of New York City use Discord to connect and blow off steam...and also to rank their masters’ hotness. Nandor discovers this impertinence and throws an internet fit.

Tags: Crack with a touch of angst

A/N: I don’t know. 

---

NYC Familiar Chat #thirsty

Celeste-is-Best: nngh, have you guys seen Mr. 50ss’s’s’ss instagram story????

Celeste-is-Best: He’s so pretty! it’s like turn me, already!

Imurdad | colby: I know, right? I can’t believe he’s only 7 on the hot list…

[Gigi the great and sam teh pretty like this]

Gigi the great: Don’t forget to vote on this month’s poll!!

Best Hair!

We’re the ones who make them look pretty--but who’s the prettiest one of all? This month we’re voting on the NYC vampire with the best hair. Cast your vote!

A. Simon the Devious

B. Nandor the Relentless

C. Tilda

D. Evan

E. Houston

F. Nancy the Relentless

---

Guillermo locked his phone with a little smile. If he could he’d vote a hundred times for Nandor’s hair. It was unlikely that his master would win against the likes of Evan, Tilda and Nancy. He’d thrown Simon on there as a joke and was kind of horrified by how many familiars seemed to be into the limp mullet look. To each their own, he guessed.

On that note, it was almost nightfall and Nandor’s hair wasn’t going to brush itself. Guillermo made his way into the crypt, lighting candles and gathering the soft brush, comb, detangler spray and hair oils. Nandor was what he lovingly referred to as “high maintenance.” He was also surprisingly pitiful for a 750-year old warlord. It took Guillermo ages every night to carefully tease out and brush the knots from his hair without hurting him. It should’ve been annoying after so many years, but the chore remained one of the highlights of Guillermo’s day. 

For one thing, he got to touch his master without being scolded or hissed at. So that was nice. For another thing, Nandor’s hair was as soft as his personality was prickly. Guillermo would often drag out the task, running his fingers through the silky strands and lightly touching Nandor’s jaw to get him to tilt his head this way or that. 

He was doing just that, as well as admiring the expanse of cream and bronze skin revealed by the open collar of Nandor’s loose shirt, when the vampire opened his mouth. 

“Guillermooo...Did you happen to get any virgins for tonight?”

Guillermo’s fingers momentarily tightened around a hank of his master’s hair. He imagined giving it a sharp tug. He forced himself to loosen his grip and replied, “No, master, I’m sorry. Virgins are getting pretty thin on the ground lately. I managed to pick up a couple people from a bible study class, though. They should taste pretty innocent, right?”

Nandor made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat before answering, “You’d be surprised.”

---

NYC Familiar Chat #the-struggle

Gigi the great: I know we all jealously guard our sources, but I’ve been in a dry spell for a few weeks and my master is going to lose it and drink me one of these nights. Anyone have any new leads on virgins in the area?

Gigi the great: I’ve tried the usual stuff...LARPers, church socials, chastity clubs (surprisingly unhelpful…). I’m kinda desperate!

Direct Messages

Celeste-is-Best: only because you had my back last month when I ran out of burial sites…

Gigi the great: OMG! Celeste, please!! 🙏 🥺

Celeste-is-Best: there’s a magic the gathering tournament in brighton heights this weekend...😈

Gigi the great: You are like the virgin whisperer, Celeste. Thank you!

Celeste-is-Best: np

Celeste-is-Best: hey! Are you posting the poll results soon? I voted for Tilda--don’t tell Houston!! LOL

#main

Gigi the great: The results are in! The vampire with the best hair in NYC is……..EVAN!

Check out the Google Form for the full results...

docs.google.com...best_hair

Evan (26%)

Tilda (22%)

Nancy the Relentless (17%)

Simon the Devious (16%)

Nandor the Relentless (13%)

Houston (6%)

---

“What are you typing over there on your intelligent phone?”

Guillermo hurriedly tucked his phone away and looked up to find his master mopping blood from his mouth with a lace-trimmed handkerchief. They were in an alleyway a few buildings down from the comic shop. The limp body of Nandor’s victim lay discarded on the dirty ground. Guillermo smiled affectionately at Nandor trying and failing to clean himself. He took the hanky from him and set about doing the job himself. The snow white fabric was quickly drenched in dark red arterial blood. 

“I was just, um...checking on another potential virgin source,” he lied. 

The familiar Discord was strictly secret. If any of their masters ever found it and saw their human servants’ uncensored discussions... The thought sent a panicked tremor down Guillermo’s spine and he thought--for the thousandth time--that he should delete the app and not look back. But the idea of continuing with this emotionally draining, thankless job without his little support system was just as disturbing. Besides, the server had really come through for him tonight.

“Well done, Guillermo!” Nandor praised him and Guillermo’s heart swelled pathetically. A small, shameful part of him imagined Nandor patting him on the head and he didn’t hate it. “That was the most delicious virgin I’ve had in months!”

“Thank you, master,” Guillermo smiled sweetly, his cheeks dimpling. Nandor watched him for a long moment and he could swear he saw his master’s eyes linger on his mouth. He shut that thought down before it could bloom into a hope that was only doomed for disappointment. 

“Well…I’ll see you back at the house.” Nandor vanished before his eyes, taking his bat form and darting out of the alley with a high-pitched squeak and a furious flap of his leathery wings.

Guillermo sighed, looked at the broken body and wondered if he’d be able to fit his car down the narrow alley or if he’d have to drag the corpse to the opening. He fished out his keys and started the short walk back to his parking spot. All the while thinking, with distracted horror, Simon the Devious beat out Nandor for best hair?!? Really?

---

Direct Messages

Gigi the great: Hey, thanks! The Magic tournament was a hit!

Celeste-is-Best: i do live to serve…

Gigi the great: Har har.

#bitch-session

mish-bish: Ugh!!! Pretty sure my asshole master is hypnotizing me again.

call-me-karen: That’s rough, Misha! You wanna talk about it? My master lets me take the car whenever I want. I can come pick you up…

mish-bish: Yeah, like...I definitely have a huge black hole in my memories from last night. Fuck.

mish-bish: Oh, that’s ok Karen. Thanks.

Gigi the great: Hey @mish-bish. Sorry you’re having a hard time. If you feel up to it, check out the #support channel. A lot of other familiars have gone through this and talked about it there. Sometimes it helps to hear how others cope!

---

“Guillermo! Guillermoooo!”

Nandor’s panicked bellow reached him all the way in the basement where he was checking his lye supply. Guillermo huffed it up the stairs and raced into the fancy room where he found his master staring aghast at his laptop.

“Wh-what is it, master?” he asked, bent over and catching his breath.

“Someone named...Rap4Unlyfe has sent me a fake news!” Nandor wailed, gesturing to the laptop as if the device was personally responsible. 

Guillermo suppressed an eyeroll and walked over to sit beside his master. He watched in dismay as Nandor scooched farther down the couch but he tried not to let it sting too much. 

The browser was open to Nandor’s Hotmail account. He leaned forward to read the open message, unsure what to expect. The blood drained from his face as he read.

from: rap4unlyfe@sassycat.com

cc:  devious@sassycat.com; nandortherelentless@hotmail.com; travelbug54@aol.com ...

subject: rofl bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahah

yooooooooooooooooOO!

Has ne1 else seen there familiars on this site??? I hypnotized mine last nite to give me his phone password and...👀 

Mierda. There were two screenshots attached. One was the survey results page from the “best hair” poll. The other was an excerpt from the chat, specifically Guillermo posting the winner of the poll and the link to the results. 

Guillermo’s face fell into an adorably distressed frown. He darted a glance at Nandor but the vampire just looked confused. It wasn’t clear if he yet suspected that his own familiar might be “Gigi the great.”

“Huh…” Guillermo leaned back and smoothed his expression into one of untroubled amusement. “You’re right, looks like fake news. You should probably just ignore it.”

Nandor punched his fist into his thigh and snapped, “But Guillermo! I cannot let this go unanswered! This...this...ludicrous insult! Imagine...me losing a hair contest. Everyone knows I have the most beautiful hair!”

Guillermo blushed magnificently, “Of course, master! This is just...a prank. Someone playing a mean trick on you. You shouldn’t give them the satisfaction--”

The laptop chimed. Guillermo dove to prevent Nandor from reaching it but the vampire simply slapped him away with a petulant whine, “Give me that! Fucking guy…”

Nandor’s lips curled into a snarl as his eyes scanned over the screen. 

“Oh, no! Now they are making a mockery of me on the ether net!”

from: devious@sassycat.com 

cc: nandortherelentless@hotmail.com; travelbug54@aol.com; rap4unlyfe@sassycat.com… 

subject: RE: rofl bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahah

Oh! That is too delicious! Suck it, Houston and Nandor! 

It gets even better. Have you seen this, yet?

vamp_hot_list.doc 

“Guillermo, what is a hot list?” Nandor asked with a worried frown, clicking on the attachment. 

“No, master! Don’t--”

It was too late. He watched as his master’s eyes lit with understanding and then intrigue and finally outrage.

“29?! I am number 29 on your dirty hot vampire list!? What is the meaning of this?” Nandor bristled like an angry porcupine, his eyes shooting metaphorical quills into Guillermo’s soft flesh.

“It’s not my list, master!” he insisted and then, guiltily, “Not only mine…”

“Guillermo!” Nandor gasped, his eyes returning to the screen for a moment before pinning him with outraged accusation. “So, it is you!? You are...Gigi the great? Well, I do not think you are so great, little guy! In fact I think you’re pretty un-great right now! And disrespectful!”

Guillermo sank into the couch cushions, melting under his master’s ire and replying miserably, “It’s not as bad as it looks!”

Nandor turned back to the screen and began reading off names from the top of the list, “Viago! Nancy the Relentless! Evan! I suppose these are all vampires you’ve been dreaming of doing the hanky panky with! Putting them on the top of your list above your own master! That’s two demerits, Guillermo!”

“What!? No! Master, I didn’t make the list! We vote on it! Everyone gets a say. If I made the list of course you’d be at the top--”

Guillermo snapped his mouth shut. His face was on fire and he felt like crying. Nandor must have some inkling of his crush, right? After ten years of service? This couldn’t really be the life-ending mortification that it felt like. He waited, wide-eyed, for his master’s reaction. Nandor stared at him, his huge, dark eyes filled with shock and anger. After a long minute he turned back to the laptop, waving a hand dismissively in Guillermo’s face.

“Go to your room now, Guillermo! I need to think of how to punish this impertinence!”

Guillermo stood, barely holding in humiliated tears. He gestured to the device in Nandor’s lap, “My laptop…”

Nandor held it out of Guillermo’s reach and hissed, “No! Vampire only computer time, Guillermo!”

Guillermo left, trudging out of the room with a sinking feeling in his stomach as the sound of Nandor’s flop-wristed typing followed him out the door.

---

#main

Gigi the great: Is everyone okay?

call-me-karen: not fukcing great!

Imurdad | colby: Seriously! WTF!!?

Gigi the great is typing…

Guillermo lay on his little cot with the crocheted blanket his amá made for him pulled up to his chin. Tears streaked down his cheeks and the phone’s glare reflected in his glasses. He thought back to every off handed complaint, every silly photo turned into a “master-shaming” meme, every confession, every joke. All of them laid bare to the world. The Discord server started out as goofy, harmless fun. The hot list was the perfect embodiment of that. But it became so much more. Being a familiar could be lonely. You were isolated from other humans and surrounded by cold, uncaring monsters all the time. Guillermo loved Nandor. Everyone knew this...there were even memes about it on the server! But sometimes his master’s aloofness got to be too much and he needed to reach out to other humans who understood him! 

He threw his phone down onto the mattress, angrily pawing at his teary eyes and wondering if this was it. Not just the end of NYC Familiar Chat, but the end of Guillermo the Great, his long-dreamed-of vampire alias. There was no way Nandor would keep him as a familiar after this…

---

Direct Messages

Celeste-is-Best: OMG! Guillermo, have you seen this?

Celeste-is-Best: http://familiar-hot-list.colinrobinson.net

Celeste-is-Best: hey, if this is Nandor’s big revenge scheme I think you’re going to be ok

Celeste-is-Best: we miss you! 

---

Guillermo heard his master calling him and cringed. It had been a week since the hot list incident and Nandor had spent every waking moment making little jabs at his familiar and grousing about how he’d been betrayed on the internet. But to Guillermo’s surprisingly intense relief, he hadn’t been fired. After ten years of disappointment and hopeless pining, Guillermo half-expected to welcome the prospect of finally being put out of his misery, so to speak. He was kind of shocked, therefore, to feel happiness and gratitude that his master had decided to keep him around, even if only as a verbal punching bag.

He found Nandor in the library, smugly brandishing the purloined laptop. 

“Come have a look at your punishment, Guillermo,” Nandor patted the couch beside him. “This is what happens when you disrespect vampires on the ether net.”

Guillermo swallowed the lump in his throat and collapsed beside Nandor feeling like a man condemned. Their thighs pressed together but for once Nandor didn’t move away. He shoved the laptop at Guillermo and handed him a yellow sticky note with Colin Robinson’s handwriting on it.

“Colin Robinson has assisted in creating a webpage for your disgrace. We have done our own hot list! A familiar hot list. All of the New York vampires voted. So, now you can see how not nice it feels to have your hotness besmirched for all the world to see.”

Guillermo typed in the URL and blinked as the neon green background scorched his retinas. The page was a hideous callback to the internet of the late 1990s right down to the hit counter at the bottom. There was a border of pixelated dancing Draculas surrounding bright orange text.

NYC Familiar Hotness Ranking

1. Guillermo (Nandor the Relentless) - 19%

Guillermo looked at the screen, then over at Nandor, then back to the screen again.

“Master? Have you looked at the results yet?”

Nandor’s brow knit with confusion, “No, why? What does it say?”

He grabbed the laptop and squinted against the garish colors. Guillermo watched Nandor’s face carefully as he read the results. He looked surprised and almost...pleased at first, before giving in to his patented aggravation.

“Fucking Colin Robinson!”

---

New NYC Familiars Group! #welcome

Imurdad | colby: Hey @everyone! Welcome to the new Discord server. Guillermo has stepped down as a mod but he’ll still be around. We don’t have a perfect solution for the security problems we had with the last server. We’re asking everyone to be vigilant about hypnosis and if you feel like you’re losing time, please be sure to secure your phones/computers away from your masters….

---

to: nandortherelentless@hotmail.com

from: travelbug54@aol.com

subject: Something you might want to see…

Hey Nandoorman! How’s it hangin’?  

Listen, I’m sorry that your revenge didn’t go as planned. I noticed you’ve been a little short with Gizmo ever since this whole thing started. As someone who cares about my roomie, I want to advise you to knock it the hell off. Also, I don’t relish the thought of returning to the days before Gizmo came along. Do you even remember what the house used to look like? Pools of blood everywhere. Dead bodies. Melted candles all over the place...

I digress… I managed to snag this screenshot from Count Rapula. I think you may find it interesting.

Your pal,

Colin Robinson 

discord_gizmo.jpg

#confessions

Gigithegreat: Hey guys. This isn’t easy for me to share but I know I’m not the only one who’s dealt with this and if I can help one of you feel less alone then I’ll be glad. As most of you know, I recently “celebrated” my 10th anniversary as Nandor’s familiar. I was convinced, absolutely convinced, that my master was going to make me into a vampire. Well, once again it didn’t happen. He made me this weird portrait out of glitter instead. And the thing is...like, I should leave, right? He’s never going to turn me and that’s the basis for our whole arrangement. I serve him faithfully, he turns me into a vampire. It’s simple, right? So why am I still here? Why am I still burying bodies for him and making human sacrifices? Dressing and feeding him? Treating him like he’s some kind of god and not an ancient cranky baby?  It’s because I’m in love with him. Hopelessly, stupidly, self-destructively in love with my vampire master who thinks of me as nothing more than a really well-trained poodle who can talk. Why? WHY? Because he makes me laugh. Because he’s fiercely protective of his vampire family and (sometimes) that includes me. Because when we’re alone he can be so adorably, painfully vulnerable and it feels like a privilege that I get to witness that side of him. Because he does ridiculously stupid but considerate things like spending hours making me a glitter portrait. When he’s happy with me I feel like I could float and when he’s disappointed I feel like being swallowed up by a sinkhole. And, yeah, he’s also man-of-my-dreams outrageously hot and I cannot believe you cretins have him ranked #29 on the hot list. It’s a crime. 

Gigithegreat: So, yeah. That’s why I stay. I’m no longer hoping for a bite that will never happen. Now it’s a kiss, a hug, a touch, a look. Anything he’s willing to give me I’ll gladly hoard in my little closet-room along with my glitter portrait. Because I’m pathetic. That’s it. That’s the confession.

Imurdad | colby: Brave words, Guillermo. Hang in there, friend.

blood_princess: this is a mood

sam teh pretty: Sending you healing head scritches ❤️

Celeste-is-Best: look, i think i speak for us all when i say we need to see this glitter portrait!!!

[You’re Viewing Older Messages … Jump To Present? ￬]

---

Nandor looked uncharacteristically thoughtful while Guillermo readied him for sleep. The familiar guessed he was still angry that his little revenge plot had backfired. He couldn’t help but feel a little smug about his position as the hottest NYC familiar. Even if he was pretty sure it was mostly due to the other vampires messing with Nandor. Guillermo couldn’t really enjoy his victory, though, not with Nandor’s feelings of betrayal still weighing on his heart.

Nandor’s face was a stoic mask as Guillermo helped him undress. He cooperated listlessly, picking up his feet for Guillermo to remove his heavy boots, lifting his arms up over his head as Guillermo took off his brocade tunic. Finally, he placed his giant hand in Guillermo’s soft, small one and stepped up into his coffin. Guillermo stood by the side of the coffin as he always did, watching over Nandor with affection choking his throat. Nandor smoothed his hair down and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Sweet dreams, master,” Guillermo whispered, leaning across him to catch the lid of the coffin.

“Wait, Guillermo,” Nandor spoke without looking at him, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. “I wish to say something to you.”

Guillermo’s heart sank in his chest. Oh no...his stupid middle schooler revenge didn’t work and now he’s going to send me away… Tears pricked his eyes and he choked, “C-can’t it wait until tomorrow, master?”

“No. I must say this now,” Nandor responded, oblivious to his familiar’s internal drama. “I want to say to you that--and I think I’m being extremely gracious and lenient here--it is fine for you to have your little, pathetic familiar group on the dark internet.”

“O-oh,” Guillermo quickly swiped the tears from his eyes, “thank you, master…”

“But no more mee-mees, Guillermo! Master-shaming...very disrespectful!”

“Of course!” Guillermo laughed, delirious with relief. 

Nandor looked up at him with a final warning glance before softening, “Alright, then. As long as we are clear on that…”

There was a long beat of silence during which Guillermo found himself locked inside his master’s gaze. Nandor’s eyes were like pools of rich, melted chocolate. Guillermo imagined himself as the German kid from Willy Wonka and for a second he was in danger of breaking down into giggles. But then his master spoke in that soft, uncertain tone he only used when they were alone and he was feeling fragile.

“Guillermo...did you really vote for me to be the number one hottest vampire?” Nandor toyed with the buttons on his shirt and looked up at his familiar with a shy, open expression.

Guillermo’s cheeks burned and he wanted to laugh and hide and kiss his master on the mouth all at once.

“Yes, master, I did. You’re…” he cleared his throat and tightened his grip on the lip of the coffin, “so handsome, master. So beautiful...”

He watched his master’s chest expand with pride and his lips twitch into a haughty smirk. 

“That’s true, Guillermo. Good job for noticing,” Nandor praised him in a voice that was a little too loud. It rang with a false sense of self-assurance. After a few seconds he went on in a quieter tone, “Do you know, I--this is very silly, Guillermo, you mustn't tell anyone this--I voted for you, too. As the hottest familiar…”

Guillermo’s stomach did a little swoop and his lips curved into a blinding smile. His dumb, beautiful master thought he was attractive? Guillermo tried to reel himself in; he tried to remind himself that Nandor probably only voted for him to boost his own reputation. But--wait?--hadn’t the list been meant as a revenge against Guillermo? God, what a handsome idiot.

“Thank you, master,” Guillermo gushed and now he was certain that Nandor’s eyes strayed too long on his smiling lips and red, dimpled cheeks. 

“Alright then!” Nandor pulled the emergency break on the moment. “Time for my evil slumber. Night night, Guillermo!”

And in a slow motion moment that would feature in Guillermo’s dreams that night, Nandor reached up and put his hand over his. Nandor’s cool, smooth palm rubbed over the back of Guillermo’s warm hand and his fingers squeezed slightly. The breath rushed from Guillermo’s lungs and he could only squeak in reply, shutting his master into his coffin and moving away with a dazed smile on his face.

A muffled sound came from the coffin just as Guillermo reached the door to the crypt.

“...And I don’t think of you as a poodle…”

“What was that, master?” Guillermo called.

“Nothing, Guillermo!”

Guillermo shuffled off to his little room feeling like he was carrying a happy little flame inside his chest. For once he gave himself permission to hope without fearing disappointment.

---

New NYC Familiars Group! #thirsty

Celest-is-Best: SORRY NOT SORRY!!!! Simon can get it…

blood_princess: ummmm thirst after your own master, Celeste. Oops sorry she’s 12.

mish-bish: Lmaooo. Gross Celeste!

Celeste-is-Best: listen.

Celeste-is-Best: ...i got nothin. I want his evil dick.

…

Gigi the great: Please look respectfully at this photo I snuck of my master the other night. Do I really need to explain myself further???

Celeste-is-Best: that’s it. guillermo, ask nandor if he needs another familiar. my body is ready!

Gigi the great: Back off, bitch!!!!

Gigi the great: jk love u

Gigi the great: but srsly back off

#master-shaming

mish-bish: submitted without comment

[Imurdad | colby, Gigi the great, Sam teh Cat, and 6 others like this]

...

Gigi the great: 🙄🙄🙄

Gigi the great: I hate him I love him

#main

black-peterrr: ohohoho, has anyone talked to Guillermo lately…..?

black-peterrr: a little raven told me he and Nandor were seen HOLDING HANDS in the park the other night…

call-me-karen: WHATTTTTTTT

Celeste-is-Best: @Gigi the great, CONFIRM OR DENY!! GIIIIIGIIII!

Gigi the great: ……...I don’t kiss and tell 😉

Imurdad | colby pinned a post

Imurdad | colby: This is momentous.

#memes

Gigi the great: hot take…

Imurdad | colby: bahahaha, okay…

Imurdad | colby: 

Gigi the great: But have you considered…

Imurdad | colby: lol compelling

Call-me-karen: I mean…..👀

Celeste-is-Best: Ha...ha...ha…*sob*

Direct Messages

Celeste-is-Best: Gigi! we miss you! ur never online lately... 

Celeste-is-Best: too busy getting that ottoman empire dick, huhhh??

Gigi the great: OMG Celeste! You’re out of control!

Celeste-is-Best: that wasn’t a denial…

#main

Gigi the great: Hey guys...sorry I haven’t been active lately

Gigi the great: Quick update though....

GIgi the great:

blood_princess: OSDFJweoiflkdfaf omgggggg gggggiiiiiiigiigigig!!!!!!

Jameson: Holy shit, man. Congrats.

Celeste-is-Best: GuillerrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmooooooOooooO!O my baby! you look amazing!

call-me-karen: DO YOU NEED A FAMILIAR!!?!?!?!?

Celeste-is-Best: jesus, karen lol

blood_princess: my master is having an orgy right now. I just locked myself in the bathroom--I’M FREAKING OUT!! What is it like? IS that blood on your collar??? OMG how was ur first feeding?

Imurdad | colby: FAMILIARS ONLY, GUILLERMO!!

Imurdad | colby: I’m kidding. OMG I’m so happy for you! (And burning with jealous rage)

Celeste-is-Best: look how fucking happy Nandor is

Celeste-is-Best: i’ve been shipping you two from the beginning, Gigi!

Celeste-is-Best: …..hope you’re not going to forget who helped you out with those virgins last month…

---

“Guillermo!” Nandor’s voice was half whine, half growl. “It’s very difficult to sleep with that light filling the coffin! What are you doing anyway?”

The screen illuminated Guillermo’s grin as he answered, “Just posted that selfie we took to the familiar chat. They’re freaking out.”

Nandor turned onto his side, nuzzling his face into Guillermo’s neck and tickling him with his beard, “That’s nice. Sleepy time now, Guillermo.” 

“Yes, master,” Guillermo breathed and Nandor purred low in his chest. Some things had changed since becoming a vampire and others had stayed the same. Calling Nandor “master” had taken on a new, thrilling subtext.

Nandor’s arms snaked around Guillermo, tugging the smaller vampire into his chest. He let out a contented sigh and his body went still as he began to fall asleep.

“I guess I should probably leave the group,” Guillermo yawned--force of habit. “Since I’m not a familiar anymore.”

Nandor wrenched himself from sleep with the power of his own petulance, “Hey! What do you mean ‘not a familiar anymore’? Just because a guy gives his boyfriend the gift of eternal life he thinks he can quit being his familiar!? Who’s going to brush my hair?! ‘Not a familiar anymore’...fucking guy…”

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

From the writing tips ask But your first chapters of loaft are amazingly written, I especially adore the one introducing Roman, did you have wips before that? Was loaft a product of practice or did you improve throughout writing it? I just think you started loaft and you were already really good by that point ❤️

first, i do feel like i’ve improved since every other page is a mirror, enough that some bits of the prologues make me twitch because i dont like them very much anymore.

but yes, laoft itself is also absolutely a product of practice - the first thing i ever wrote was teenage mutant ninja turtles fanfiction and i could not possibly have been more than ten. i was probably about eight. the first one i ever wrote and published was a sonny with a chance/sailor moon crossover and i was about 13.

and both of them were. i dont want to say bad, because again, we are talking about past violet, who was a middle schooler and Just Baby, but it was leagues behind the way i write now

most of it never got published on any website because that was before i had my shame glands removed /j but there are still notebooks scattered everywhere on my bookshelves, in my attic, all over the place. TMNT, ATLA, Teen Titans, Phineas and Ferb, iCarly, a harry potter fanfiction i’ve been “writing” for years thats got almost as much worldbuilding as laoft and has one (1) chapter actually written, etc etc

if i liked it, i wrote fic of it. and most of that fic never saw the light of day, and a lot of the earliest stuff got deleted, or in the case of the notebooks, set on fire, because when i was about 17/18 i was embarrassed enough to destroy them (again, pre-shame removal /j)

So now it looks like i started at “reasonably competent” and that is maybe a little disingenuous of me, and thats on me. i can see how it might be discouraging to look at the earliest stuff on my ao3 and think i started there, but i assure you i absolutely did not.

[crushzone]

🗣 Request Rules

Before you enter one of our auditoriums, let’s talk about some rules!

Please always read my bio to see the status of my request box.

I may not be the most active writer, so I would like to apologize before hand if it takes me forever to get to your request. I’m also not responding to them by order, I'll do what I feel like writing that day. The intention of my blog is to use it as a tool to improve my writing skills, so I’m hoping you guys can help throw me some interesting prompts! ✨ 

🗣 FANDOMS

Haikyuu!!, Bleach, Death Note

🗣 GENERAL RULES

I’m down to write or draw almost anything, but here are some rules:

1. Please be polite with your requests! Just saying please and thank you would mean a lot to me, rather than making it sound like a command.

2. Generally prefer fics and scenarios; I like to dive deeply into one character at a time. So I’ll only do 1 character per prompt. If you want the same prompt with different characters, please request again separately.

3. Would appreciate it if requests are not too specific, so that it leaves me some room for creativity. 

Good example: Reader teaches their best friend, Lev how to fold origami.

Too specific: Hinata offers to walk reader home after practice, then they run into Kageyama, and decide to go buy buns from Ukai’s. After, they go to Kageyama’s, where they cook some curry together, but it turned out bad because Hinata forgot to stir the pot. (lol)

4. Probably won’t do drabbles and headcanons so often, but please specify which one you want!

5. I only do 4 characters per headcanon and 3 per drabble! And if you want a pt.2 with different characters, please submit another request!

6. While I do encourage people to send in multiple asks on my inbox, please do not send me 20+ asks all in one go, so that there’s room for other senders to also get their requests in. If you do so, I may either delete some of your asks instantly or block you so I don’t feel overwhelmed.

7. I identify as she/her, so I will lean towards writing readers as female out of habit, especially in NSFW scenarios where penetrative sex’s involved. So if you want a male reader, please specify.

8. In regards to writing about readers of different race, I will generally keep them neutral. I’m from Thailand and that is the only experience I can speak for, therefore, unless someone specifically requests for a Thai character, I do not feel comfortable writing about others. I just don’t want to accidentally offend anyone or romanticize anything.

9. Same goes for other sensitive subjects such as mental health, I will only write about the ones I have enough knowledge and experience of to be able to write about accurately. Again, I do not want to offend anyone or accidentally romanticize anything.

10. If there is ever a moment when you feel like I’m not being inclusive with my language, please contact me directly and I will do my best to revise my existing works; I really want this to be fun and inclusive for most readers.

11. Older characters are ok with me! But I am uncomfortable writing VERY young minor x elder characters 

E.g. No Natsu Hinata x Ukai Keishin please.

12. Open to write reader x character, character x character, F x F, F x M, M x M.

13. Lastly, if I ever offend anyone by accident, please understand that I never mean to. I would appreciate direct and open communication so I can learn of my mistakes and refrain. Never hesitate to communicate about it with me through my direct messages.

🗣 NSFW RULES

1. NSFW is all good! 

No kink shaming on this blog, I’m very open to exploring, and if there’s any that I am not personally comfortable with or do not believe I have enough experience to express it well, I will politely inform you on that!

2. Here’s some kinks I love writing about

Tickling (yes, even to a sadistic extent), bondage, shibari (rope art), feather/brush play, mirror sex, sub/dom (can comfortably portray both, just specify who you want to be sub or dom), edging, sensory deprivation, bdsm, sex toys, overstimulation, primal play, threesomes, omegaverse AU

3. And here are some that I am not comfortable writing about

General pain related kinks (spanking and some wax is ok, but whips and sharp objects, etc that draws blood, I’m not.), sexual degradation, rape, incest (e.g. If you request something to do with the Miyas, I can write them sharing reader, but they will not be attracted to each other).

>>> Back to Ticket Booth Navigation 🎟

[millennialzadr]

WHY I LOVE ZADR!!!

HEY GUYS WHASSUP? LMAO

So this is a whole ass giant long post of me absolutely spewing my feelings of love for ZADR, it was the very first thing I wrote when I made this blog and I think it’s a nice, positive thing for my fellow shippers to inhale and enjoy 👌👌

it was originally a reply to mitarashiart’s post about why HE loves ZADR (link in replies) but I decided to delete that and make my own post since MY WHOLE ENTIRE TEXT WALL WAS SHOWN IN THE REPLIES and drowned out anyone else who was trying to talk (thanks tumblr mobile u fuckin idiot)

I had also posted a summary of an AU that I’m working on in the original post, but decided to remove it since it just about doubled the length (I’m thinking about posting it separately along with the wips I’ve been putting together, we’ll see 👀)

But ANYWAY, here is about a million reasons why I think ZADR is the fucking best, so if you like reading gushy gay ship feelings, please enjoy ❤️❤️❤️

[Posted June 2019][WARNING, LONG ASS THOUGHT BARF]

SOOO, holy hell y’all my journey back into this fandom has been a wild and unique experience for me, i went from adding invader zim to my bookmarks on kisscartoon, rewatching the series, finding out theres a movie coming out, finding out there was a shitload of content i’d never seen before (commentaries, lost episode scripts and audios, panels, the COMIC, episodes i’d never seen because the dvd i used to watch was scratched!! and a FUCKLOAD of quality modern fan art like oh my GOD) and finally curiously googling ‘zadr’ (which i was way into when i was maybeee 13/14) to see if there was any interesting new art, and holy hell, mita (the artist above) singlehandedly THREW me down the hole into modern zadr hell, first with his absolutely stunning IZ art (all his art is dope tho check him out yo), then reading the above explanation put the final nail in the coffin like, 100%

so i wanted to add onto his post here on why this ship got me so fucked up, both for anyone who might be wondering why on earth i’m shipping two characters from a kid’s show (i’m very aware how weird that is at first glance trust me) and also so i can get some ideas down for possible future reference (will i ever draw them? maybe)

(first of all, a disclaimer, and this is not pleasant to write but it’s important to address for clarity’s sake: I have no interest in romantic or sexual relationships between minors, and do not ship zim and dib as they are presented canonically in the show (as children). what i’m interested in is the conceptualized relationship they may have as modern adults, and i view zadr more as taking the concepts of existing characters and experimenting with them with different interpretations, which i personally think is a constructive and fun creative outlet, especially if these characters hold personal significance for you (childhood faves of course). growing up together is an important facet of their relationship, and certainly they were important to each other even as children (see: mopiness of doom) but as an adult i’m personally curious about what kind of adults they might’ve become, and that’s the focus of my interest. i’ll still be reblogging regular IZ art because it’s dope but if you see shippy looking art of them as tiny lil beans its either friendship or chibis (and i personally headcanon zim as getting taller with dib but some people stick with his canonical height when drawing them as adults, which is super short. it still doesn’t mean he’s a kid). aaand i wish i didnt have to write this and it would just be obvious but we live in a sick sad world and it is sourced from a children’s cartoon so i feel its necessary. end of disclaimer)

NOW THAT THAT’S OUT OF THE WAY

- ok, first reason’s a bit obvious - the nostalgia. holy hell, the feeling of rediscovering a ship that was popular when i was a preteen during the mid 2000s and discovering a totally new perspective on it as an adult comes with an almost totally overwhelming sense of nostalgia and comfort, as well as inspiration!! the kind of art that seems so common for zadr, these sketch pages of scenes and expressions and visual gags where artists would just scribble every idea they had and LOVE doing it, this was exactly the kind of art that made me so passionate about drawing as a kid, and it still sparks such a powerful feeling of love and admiration for me to this day. fan content of iz and zadr is simultaneously achingly familiar and totally new and fascinating, and it just makes me SO damn happy to consume, it is most definitely my new comfort content. and just, GOD. THE ART!! SO GOOD. FUCK

- now for the characters themselves: for some reason i just really love the thought of a mid twenties, modern Dib?? lanky goth dork, disaster bi, depressed as shit, uses bad sweaters and memes to cope?? when i was a kid i didn’t even LIKE Dib, but now i totally sympathize with him! he’s just a hyper obsessive nerd wishing there was more to life than the situation he got stuck with, how wildly relatable. he was a pretty big asshole as a kid (even to people besides zim) but he was also totally isolated and constantly bullied, so there’s a lot of room for growth. i feel there’s a lot of juicy character development potential for that boy, and there’s always been a special place in my heart for characters who are totally sad and screwed and hopeless, but there’s one thing, or person, that means the world to them and could possibly save them…

- aliens. Zim. i love nonhuman characters, i love monsters, i love aliens, i love characters that don’t understand human shit (and thus have much less room for shame or fear bc theyre just totally oblivious the negatives of modern society) and need guidance (bonding!!) from their human. i also love morally grey characters and characters with skewed logic, they’re always really interesting, and Zim himself just has such a unique personality and set of mannerisms, he contradicts himself a lot and you can never quite expect how he’ll behave, and i love that in a character, it makes them super versatile and fun, especially since there’s so many different possibilities for their development. Also, Zim is a gremlin, a little shit, and a disaster. I also love those traits in a character. And don’t even get me started on his character design?? big sparkly eyes? expressive antennae? monster teeth? complimenting colors? he’s adorable.

- mutual obsession. for someone like Dib, who seems almost repulsed by how boring and slow the people around him are, Zim quite literally personifies Dib’s  escapist fantasies, both as an inhuman entity from beyond the stars, and as a person who’s knowledge, charisma and mystery far exceeds that of anyone Dib has met in his entire life. (so basically what i’m saying is that for a shunned, jaded misanthropist, an actual alien is terribly alluring, even if said alien is dangerous, stupid, and possibly insane). not to mention Zim vindicates Dib’s entire life passion, the supernatural! Even when their relationship is totally negative, there is not a single inch of room for Dib to get tired of Zim. as mita explained, they validate each other. for Zim, WHO AGAIN, IS TOTALLY SHUNNED, ISOLATED, AND HATED BY EVERYONE HE KNOWS, Dib is the only person in the universe who gives a single shit about him!! he gives Zim credit as a threat, a capable invader, which if you ask me is the sole thing Zim is after (he’s hellbent on his mission because it would win him the approval of the tallest, all he’s ever wanted is recognition from the people he thinks so highly of). He literally gets depressed when Dib isn’t around to pay attention to him, not even the tallest were enough to motivate him before Dib came back. these two have no one and nothing without each other, and while lifelong nemeses is fine and dandy, i personally prefer friendship, affection and love, cause i’m a softie like that. how could they possibly get there after years of actively trying to kill each other?? well, i think under just the right circumstances it could become a possibility after a long, long time.

- growth. i. love. me. some. good. character growth. especially for characters with trauma/mental illness, bc again, relatable. these boys have issues, and as mita mentioned, their canon stories are actually INCREDIBLY sad! but the happy thought is, they could recover! they could help each other recover, for little reason other than the two are the only source of happiness for each other. now of course this also opens the gate for angst lovers, but at the same time offers potential for comforting, uplifting content of the boys supporting and inspiring each other, maybe even to the point of becoming happy and healthy enough to create the lives they want for themselves (as in appreciating life and doing things that make them actually happy instead of the delusions of grandeur they both sought when they were younger). gimme that positive shit and let the poor beans be happy  щ(ಠ益ಠщ)

- LITTLE THINGS. LITTLE THINGS THAT ONLY COME WITH CHILDHOOD FRIENDS. WITH HUMAN/NONHUMAN. WITH THE SHOW’S WEIRD LOGIC. Zim being the person Dib knows best and vice versa. Zim having an involuntary respect/admiration for Dib because he’s tall. Learning each other’s needs, limits, and communication methods, both emotionally and biologically. Sensitive antennae. Affectionate bickering. Being less insecure bc your partner literally has no idea why you see your flaws as flaws. Laughing at the flaws they do notice because they make no sense. Zim only wanting to eat waffles and chow mein. Dib being forced to overcome his depression lethargy and stay hygienic/keep the apartment clean because Zim has a sharper sense of smell and is afraid of germs. Endless conversation about anything and everything because they’re from literally different worlds, and endless intrigue. TOUCHING. TALKING. DOING EVERYTHING LIKE ITS THE VERY FIRST TIME AND ALWAYS NEEDING THE OTHER TO GUIDE THEM. HOLY HELL THERE IS SO MUCH POSSIBILITY FOR TINY LITTLE MOMENTS THAT MEAN THE WORLD. FUCK. GOT ME FUCKED UP.

so that wraps up the why. fuck man. its just such a good ship. if you read this big ass text post, thank you for indulging me, i hope you enjoyed it! because i enjoy it very much 👀 so stick around if you’d like to for a shit load of IZ and zadr content on this blog, possibly (MAYBE) even from me!! come roll around in alien hell with me why dontcha ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ its a fun time! thanks for reading!!!

-

SO THAT’S MY MANIFESTO Y’ALL, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH YOUR OWN REASONS!! I WOULD LOVE FOR THIS POST TO JUST BECOME A BIG GIANT PILE OF LOVE AND YELLING!! GO NUTS! SCREAM ABOUT IT! INFODUMP! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! I’LL READ EVERY LAST REPLY! Y’ALL DESERVE TO ENJOY YOUR SHIP BC IT’S LITERALLY THE FUCKING BEST!!! LOVE Y’ALL!!!!!!