#it all sucks anyway cause she was the one who brought me here

[pardonmydelays]

if you log out of this hellsite i do not blame you bc it does suck here but i will very much miss your presence 😢♥️

omg thank you so much! 🥺

yes, it really sucks to be here right now... i literally had to unfollow 100+ swifties to clear my dash cause i was sick of seeing people who are defending all her actions & shitting on joe alwyn for no reason. still, i don't even have the energy to scroll tumblr so all i do is check my messages from time to time. i definitely need a break, but seeing things like that in my inbox makes me want to think it through once again. ❤️

[wintersera]

hii what do u think of giselle and yunjin fucking you???🥲🥲🥲 i feel like they'd just be big bullies to you and degrade you all the time

cw: dubcon, degredation, drugging, somnophilia, blackmail, i made them assholes in this im sorry 🫠🫠

okay my bad i haven’t answered this (holy shit i’m so sorry) but anyways. when it comes to me theres no normal vanilla thoughts about this, because let me tell you… i want these two women in a way that will cause the second coming of jesus christ—

also i felt like making this a drabble even though i said i wouldn’t do requests or asks my bad guys… brain rot!

bully!aeri and bully!yunjin being very well known for bullying people left right and centre. them having a few lackeys that would run their errands. unfortunately you were one of their little targets to fuck around with quite literally you weren’t a lackey or anything, they just liked to poke fun at you time to time. do that thing that bullies often do and just shove you into a locker, pour water or some drink over your head during lunch breaks, call you a few names here and there, take really humiliating pictures of you and say that they’re not gonna post it anywhere, maybe they have posted it. but anyways, you know, the usual shit.

they thought it would be so funny to invite you over for funsies and not explain why they want you over. so really, who were you to deny their request? quite obviously they could just blackmail you to come running over.

aeri is kind of an enabler to yunjins behaviour- like she knows what she’s doing is horrible and thats why she doesn’t do it normally, but this time is kinda different. aeri is all like “it’ll be fun c’monnnn. you find y/n kinda cute anyways. i know you think she looks so cute when she’s crying… plus, i think she’s cute too. just wanna fuck around with her you know”

and so the day comes. you’re standing in the middle of their room,,, shit you’re so awkard, but that’s to be expected. in what situation would your bullies invite you to one of their houses?

they’d tell you to relax “don’t worry, we just wanted to hang out” for all you know they’re making snacks in the kitchen giggling to eachother while you awkwardly make yourself comfy, sinking yourself on the couch. eventually they brought over the drinks they made specifically for you and handing it over, watching as you sip the drink hesitantly.

“hmm this is kinda good… anyways what am i doing he-“

BITCH?? it only takes you few seconds and you’ve blacked the fuck out. you’re extremely vulnerable infront of both of your bullies, you’re kinda fucked.

oh noooo what ever shall they do to you

you’d wake up to yunjin between your legs with a playful smirk on her face, lapping at your clit, making sure that you definitely feel her tongue flat against it.

oh and aeri? she’s standing behind yunjin taking a video, snickering as you wake up from a good 30 min knock out nap “what the f-fuck?” were the only words that came out of your mouth before yunjin shoved two of her fingers knuckles deep into your cunt.

in panic, you looked up to aeri who was fixated on keeping you in frame while you were being fucked rough. her eyes were glued onto the screen, keeping in a laugh that was in her throat. she noticed you staring at the camera. she laughed “god you look so pathetic. did you really think that we would want to hang out normally? especially with you? hmmm… what would your mom think if she found out that her precious daughter was a slut”

yunjin just chuckled. she kept sucking on your clit while she was so so deep inside of you. i mean hell you were out of it??? your head banging from the spiked drink, and your bully was going down on you? shit was so confusing, but it was all welcomed. aeri and yunjin obviously didnt know that you were getting off to this, so they just carried on with the thought of messing you up beyond your capabilities.

yeah, yunjin wasn’t as mean as aeri was, but the way you writhed your hips on her face whenever she circled her tongue around your clit, made her act harsher. yunjin’s nails dug into your thighs making you hiss at the feeling. you felt more needier, more desperate for her tongue.

at this point they both got that you were whoring yourself out for them “aeri, do you think this little slut deserves to cum?” which gets you panicking a bit

“i don’t think so” aeri responds back with a playful tone “i think i should have a go with our toy before she gets to cum, don’t you think? yeah no they definitely found out….

before you could figure out what they were gonna do, aeri had already switched places with yunjin, disregarding her phone. at a agonisingly slow pace, aeri toyed with your clit “you really do enjoy this, fucking whore- oh i can’t wait to use this against you” yunjin picking up her own phone and snapping a few pics before ripping open your shirt “everyone thinks you’re the sweetest little thing, so cute, so vulnerable, so easy to fool. it’s so funny, no one else but us knows that you’re just a pathetic slut that was waiting for this to happen to you” a few more pics of you shirtless with aeri in between your thighs were taken.

aeri signalled for yunjin to come closer, telling her that it was completely fine to mark you up and leave bruises for all she cares!! no one would really give a fuck anyway- now if it wasn’t aeri’s or yunjin’s marks they’d probably gaf because well… they’d most likely corner you and ask if you were whoring around 😭

besides the point, yunjins trailed across your neck and collarbone, leaving as many hickeys as she can while aeri began fucking you with her fingers relentlessly.

time passes and you’re calling out their names simultaneously, “yun— fu…fuck aeri, can’t- can’t take it anymore” yeah they really dont care, not slowing down at all LIKE AT ALL— aeri fucking you so deep, so rough and so fast that it makes you feel so overstimulated, and with yunjin fondling your breasts and biting at your neck, it makes sense that it made you fall unconscious for a split second. gripping onto the sheets tightly once you come back to reality, screaming their names as they witness you cum all over aeris fingers.

oh and also, for extra measures, they take another pic of you. this time your legs spread wide for the camera— yeah no they’re asshole my bad

so yeah— moral of the story… um i think that bully!aeri and bully!yunjin nghfnfhnfnnhfnfnffnfbfb FUCJ I NEED THEM IN AN UNHOLY WAY 😤😤😤

[k1ngpin42]

I actually love jealous abs/ abs after you’ve been teasing her typa shit 🙏😔idk if this makes sense but I WOULD GO FERAL if u wrote more of those

𝕁𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝔸𝕓𝕓𝕪: “ᴀʀᴇ ᴍʏ ᴍᴀꜱꜱᴀɢᴇꜱ ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘʜʏꜱɪᴏ ɢɪʀʟꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?"

⋆｡ °✩⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨୧⋆ ｡˚ ⋆✩° ｡⋆ ♡ ⋆｡ °✩⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨୧⋆ ｡˚ ⋆✩° ｡⋆⋆｡ °✩⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨୧⋆ ｡˚ ⋆✩°

More jealous Abby for one of my fav supporters @mitski-lovesems

Warnings: 18+, (all receiving) strap on, fingering, cunnilingus, thigh riding, masturbating, accidental squirting, rough Abby, edging, overstimulation, minors DNI

In the WLF base, there was a rule of thumb among soldiers that if you returned from patrol without a sore back, arm, leg, or any other part of the body, you hadn’t been doing enough. While in essence, a joke, the amount of times you had personally been launched from high places, stabbed, shot, beaten up, etc was a proper issue. Thankfully, the medical team had a trained physiotherapist to ease the pain. A slightly older woman was your favourite, she would dig her thumbs into the knotted muscles in your back, help you stretch, and give you exercises to ease the pain between visits with her. She always drew cute little drawings on your exercise notes. Her writing was beautiful, too, not unlike her face and figure, with a beautiful complexion of subtle freckles, pretty black hair with waves up to her shoulder, and a smile of perfectly in tact teeth that only illuminated how little she was in danger compared to the rest of the WLFS.

You were sort of oblivious to her flirting with you, mistaking it for friendliness. When your girlfriend and number one scar killer discovered your exercise instructions, written so sweetly by said physiotherapist, covered in hearts and little drawn cats, she was less than impressed.

“The fuck is this?” Abby practically spat, stalking towards you, note in hand. You looked at her blankly. 

“My exercise instructions? They’ve actually been helping quite a lot, not as much as the massages though-“ 

“Massages? The fuck are you talking about?” You eye her softly, not understanding where her anger was coming from.

“You know Miranda?” Her eyes darkened.

“The one half the men and their girlfriends want to sleep with? Yeah, I know of her.” You tilt your head in confusion.

“Oh, I didn’t know that…anyway, you know how I was telling you about that shooting pain I get in my back? She rubs out the muscles, it feels really g-“

“Take off your fucking clothes.” Abby interrupts. Your eyes widen, a small smile fighting to appear on your face at the anticipation of what she could and would do to you. 

“It feels really nice with her thumbs on my bare skin.”

“Bare?” She demands, ripping the jeans off of your body.

“Yeah, I have to take my top off-“ She shuts you up with a deep kiss, her tongue so deep inside you that a desperate whine ripples through you. She breaks the kiss right as you thought you would lose oxygen. 

“Lie down.” Your cheeks flush, she’s always been so damn sexy when she’s all authoritative like this.

“Here? Right on this bench?” You question while she pulls apart your button up shirt, leaving only the bottom half of it on you and showing your pretty bra.

“Right. Here.” Abby groans, sucking on your neck and immediately leaving a dark mark there. 

“Abby it’ll show…” You exclaim, and she gives you a warning look. You know her when she’s like this. Barely talking, only taking what she fucking wants. You shouldn’t speak, shouldn’t ask questions, all she wants it to fuck you into a new plane of existence. You really didn’t understand what brought this on though, you truly didn’t think of your physiotherapist in any way other than a good physio. 

“Good. It’ll teach that perky little cunt who you belong to. Lie down, I don’t like repeating myself.”

“Yeah…yes, Abby.” You comply, lying down and causing several condiments and decorations on the bench to crash onto the floor. 

“So fucking sexy sprawled out for me. Fucking touch yourself. Show me how wet you are.” Your body feels like it’s on fire. You feel nervous as you bring your fingers to your clothed cunt. She rolls her eyes.

“Take that shit off, pretty girl. Need to fucking see you.” You nod, pulling it down to your ankles which she helps take all the way off your feet, tossing it into the pile on the ground. 

You let out a high pitched moan as you rub your clit a little faster. Abby smiles, bringing her hand over your body. 

“Good girl…” She coos, pulling you onto her lap. She puts her own fingers into you quickly and without warning, immediately finding your clit and making it feel 10 times better than with your own fingers. 

“What was that moan baby?” She teases. “Are my massages a little better than your little physio girlfriend, huh?” You let out a whimper as she puts her two middle fingers inside, all the while rubbing your clit with her thumb.

“Holy f- fuck….” 

“Stuttering only over my fucking fingers huh? My girls so needy.” You feel so good you want to fucking cry when she removes her fingers and slows the speed on your clit to an almost non existent pace. 

“Abby…” She ignores your complaints, picking you up off of her lap and walking towards the bedroom. Still shaky from the stimulation, you watch eagerly until she returns with a large strap.

“Jesus Abby….” You begin to say, watching the determination on Abby’s face.

“She’s just my friend- she’s not even my friend she’s just my doctor…Abby-“ 

“Don’t waste your breath when you could be using that pretty mouth of yours for…better things. Open up.” She commands, effortlessly attaching the strap to her waist. You stand up and she just laughs. 

“Where you going sweetheart?” You exhale sharply. 

“The bedroom…I thought-“

“Now why would you deserve the comfort of a nice soft bed after keeping this from me hm? My girl needs to be fucked, hard and good, remind you who you belong to.”

“But I didn’t even-“

“Uh-uh. No talking.” She says, lifting your mouth open with her thumb.

“Tap on my hip if it’s too much okay baby?” She asked, her voice coming out sweeter than the vulgar shit she’s been saying thus far. You smile comfortingly at her, nodding. She grabs the bottom of your chin, pushing the tip of the strap into you and coating it with your saliva. 

“Fuckk.” Abby remarks, feeling heat grow at the sight of you.

“I’m gonna push a little more into you.” You hum into her as she says this and she laughs, teasingly.  “Aww, it’s okay, you can take it.” You nod, feeling it near the back of your throat this time. 

“Fuck…I’m gonna fuck your face harder just- fuck- deep breaths for me…” She says, thrusting in and out of your mouth.

“Fuck….that’s really….get it really nice and wet for me so it’s ready when I fuck you.” She says, barely able to contain herself from how horny this was making her. 

You pull away, revealing the soaking strap.

“Perfect baby. Now I know you were mad I didn’t let you cum before so I’m just gonna give it to you, okay?” Fuck. You could have cum just from her words.

“Answer my fucking question.”

“Yeah- yeah that’s good Abs…” You say, dumbly. What you would say if you could, is that “yes Abby, it’s okay, in fact I want you to use me for your own pleasure like I’m a toy and treat me like I’m fucking nothing,” but a simple affirmation of this being “okay” worked for you both. To those who say jealousy is a red flag clearly hasn’t seen how good red looks on Abby fucking Anderson. 

“You know what? I don’t think you deserve my cock yet.” She says, taking a seat on the bench beside you. 

“Sit.” Abby beckons to her large thigh. To save you from your gawking, she pulls you onto it herself and starts bouncing her leg up and down innocently. 

“F…mmm~” You say, closing your eyes as the vibration of her bouncing ripples through your cunt. 

“What’s that sound baby?” She questions. You roll your eyes at her act. 

“Why are you…mmm~ teasing me?” “Because. I don’t like the idea of anyone fucking touching you. You’re gonna cum over and over until I’m done with you and only when I want you to.” She explains, increasing the pace.

“Oh fuckfuck Abby…”

“Shh…it’s okay.” She coos. The friction of your bare cunt on her clothed muscular thigh makes your head go fuzzy.

“G’nna cum…” You slur your words, making her give you a cocky smirk as a result. 

“Oh yeah? Gonna cum hm?” She says before stopping her bouncing. You let out a whine.

“Abby what the fuck?” You demand, clinging onto her. She kisses you playfully. 

“Oh baby, you think I’m just gonna give it to you? You’re not being very convincing that you’re mine yet. Hump my thigh yourself. I might even let you cum if you do a good enough job.” You groan in irritation, but comply, slowly moving up and down the clothed skin. It feels good, but nothing like what she could give you. 

“Please…want you so bad…” You beg. She smiles lovingly at you.

“Aw, I know baby, I know. But look at you. Going so slow f’me, acting all shy when I know my girls not shy is she?” You let out a shaky breath as the fabric hits your clit just right. 

“No Abby.” She tilts her head in amusement at your struggle to get off.

“Fine, do you need my help?”

“Can…” You stop yourself, remembering how unappreciative Abby is of your manners and shy demeanour. 

“Put your hand on my neck…please.” You ask, softly. She nods, putting one of her large hands on your throat.

“Fuck~” You moan loudly, the word coming out barely audible with the little amount of air you have. Abby’s practically gleaming and you can tell she’s wet over this. 

“My pretty girl begging for my hands like a fucking slut, huh? So fucking sexy.” She coos, and it’s not long before you’re cumming, with slick lining her pants. When you finally open your eyes, you blush at the sight of them.

“S…sorry” You blurt out. Abby just smiles.

“It’s okay, something to remember you by, hm?” She picks you up, taking you to the bedroom and planting you, sprawled out on the bed.

“I thought I didn’t deserve a bed.” You say, starring up into her watercolour eyes. She nods.

“You weren’t, but you impressed me with that little show before.” She says, matter-of-factly.  “I was going to tie your hands down, but I want them clinging onto me and digging into my skin while I fuck you. I think the straps wet enough still.” Your cheeks flush crimson and she tilts her head, eyeing your body. She takes off your bra effortlessly and immediately goes down to suck at your nipples, moaning as she flicks her tongue over the sensitive buds. You bite your lip. Once she’s satisfied with sucking and marking the top part of your body, she begins lining herself up with your cunt.

“Deep breaths baby, I’m not gonna stop unless you use our safe word kay? So you can beg and cry as much as you fucking want to. You can pull my hair or dig into my skin, but I won’t relent okay? I’m gonna-“ Abby says all at once, so fucking obsessed with you. “I’m gonna fuck you into next week just- can I? God please let me fuck you.” Your thighs quiver as she speaks, and you nod eagerly. 

“Please do, I need it.” You say, and with this she pulls you towards her by your legs and thrusts almost the entire strap completely into you. You let out a cry. It stings so fucking good. She edges the last bit into you, moving hard and fast inside.

“Fuckkkk ohmygod thank you- thank…fuck….”

“Tell me that fucking….” Abby grunts, titling her head back while continuing to dick you deep.

“Slut…means nothing to you.” You moan, your eyes rolling back.

“Fucking look at me.”

“S- sorry I’m sorry.” You moan. “She means nothing to me…it’s you…it’s only you, ohfuck-“ You could tell it was almost enough, but not quite. 

“Tell me-“ Abby sighed, looking a little guilty.

“Can you tell me you hate her?” You look at her, surprised. 

“Abby…”

“Just….just this once…it doesn’t have to be- true I just….” You let out a small laugh. 

“So insecure toda-“ She playfully hits you, thrusting in deep.

“Okay sorry- I hate her Abby, you’re the only one for me.” She nods.

“Good fucking girl.” She remains true to her word, fucking you over and over until you can’t even form a fucking sentence. You’ve lost count at which orgasm this was, it didn’t matter, but you felt your stomach yearning for the release that made your legs shake with you collapsing into her. 

“Ab- mmm” You hum out. She smiles, finally going out of you and admiring your fucked out body. You were glistening with sweat and a combination of your slick and hers. 

“You did really good. Sorry if I was…too rough.” Abby says as she runs her fingers through your hair. You shake your head.

“S’good.” You say. You’re too tired to notice her moving down the bed, that is until you feel her between your thighs.

“Ab- what?” You exclaim. She rubs your thigh fondly with her thumb.

“I’m just gonna clean you up.”

“With your tongue? Abby I came like 10 times…” She laughs at this. 

“I’ll be gentle.”

“Oh my god…fine but none of your usual shit” You banter. She gasps, pretending to be offended.

“What usual shit?”

“Don’t give me that, when I’m just relaxing on the couch or I’m writing at a bench and you eat me out for like 20 minutes straight.” She smirks.

“Don’t know what you mean.”

“You’re all “mmm, ahhh you taste so good” like is it my pleasure or yours at this poin-“

“Okay, okay. I’ll be gentle.” She says, more convincing this time. You nod, spreading your still shaky legs.

She licks a stripe up your soaking cunt and you let out a deep breath. Then, she kisses your clit, sucking on it and tonguing between your folds at the same time. You let out a loud moan, already so fucking sensitive. You were so fucked out you were screaming, and instead of feeling like you needed to cum like the previous 10 or so times, you felt like you were going to pee, pass out, and cum all at once.

“W-wait Abby I- you should….mmm…st…stop I might pee Abby st- mmm” Abby had already warned you earlier though that she wouldn’t stop unless you used the safe word, and at this point you didn’t know if it would be worse to pee on Abby’s face or be denied an orgasm.

Thankfully, (and surprisingly, you might add) you didn’t pee, though, instead something miraculous happened, and Abbys face was completely soaked as you squirted all over her. You were frozen. Stunned. Embarrassed. Surprised. You wanted to kill yourself, that had never fucking happened before. You waited for Abby to come back up and she looked at you fucking awe stuck.

“I am so sorry…I’ve never squirted before that was so disgusti-“

“That was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.” Abby admits, interrupting you. You blush, covering your face with your hands.

“Really?”

“Holy fuck baby, we’re doing this every day….I need that to happen again.” “I was just…it was so much and I…”

“Fuckkkkkk I think I came I was that aroused.” You laugh at this, not believing her. She smiles back, thankful you feel more confident now.

“I’m serious, look.” She reaches down and her hand comes back up, dripping in liquid. You nod.

“Well alright then.” You laugh and she brings you into a hug.

You stand up and she looks betrayed when you do so. You laugh at her facial expression.

“I’m showering, need to get cleaned up properly this time.” She smiles.

“Ooh, can I come?” You sigh. 

“This is going to be a long night.” You remark as you both head into the nearby bathroom.

[v-a-l]

Hi! I was just thinking about what made Hermione come to the conclusion that Sirius wants to live through them. Now I last read OOTP a month ago, but I can't remember anything from the conversation that suggests that he wants to live through them, he only said that they should know how to defend themselves because of the environment that will come and that is why the DA is a good idea. And even if Hermione was influenced by Molly during the summer what makes her think that the DA is a bad idea after Sirius says it's a good idea? He gave valid reasons why it is a good idea. Hermione is very smart but this scene just felt and she felt ooc here.

I know that sometimes JKR used characters like Hermione and Dumbledore as spokespersons about what she wanted the audience to know that's why we get Hermione saying that but if that's what she wanted us to think, she did a poor job because Sirius actually kind of right and it makes Hermione look biased against Sirius.

Same with Dumbledore in that conversation with Harry after Sirius's death and it sucks. She wanted us to think Sirius saw Kreacher as inferior because of his species but that's not true at all. Now, some scenes with Sirius and Kreacher made me uncomfortable and I am not going to lie about it. But Sirius hated Kreacher because he was a part of his abusive childhood and repeated the same bigoted stuff his family thought and let's not forget Sirius only got violent with him when he called Hermione a slur. So Dumbledore saying that just feels so ooc because usually he is so wise (but once i read a meta about him seeing Sirius as Grindelwald and thinking by that meta it gives us an interesting perspective about this conversation as well).

Sorry this is getting long 😅. Anyways my point is that none of it makes any sense. It is clear that JKR was biased against Sirius and to show that she brought two other characters down (though these moments can be seen as interesting flaws in them)

Have a lovely day! (Sorry about the long ask, I hope it makes sense)

Honestly, while JKR is a brilliant writer, I also find her fairly reactionary in her writing style. Sirius was one of the most popular characters in the story because she wrote him that way, he inadvertently became more popular than a lot of other characters she preferred because again, she WROTE him that way. Perhaps the creation of a character as multi-faceted and dynamic as Sirius is was entirely by accident, as she really seems to double down on the character assassination as the books go by, but regardless, there's little in the way of canonical proof to suggest that Sirius is trying to live a vicarious life through the kids. Especially cause he's the one who seems to understand what they actually need after all they've been through instead of just patronising them.

Sirius is the only one who takes Harry seriously, he is the only one who tries to not just physically be there like the others, but actually also provide emotional support. He's constantly been doing this since he escaped Azkaban, and at this point, both in the case of Harry generally, and the Weasleys specifically when Arthur was injured, he's repeatedly looking after others at his own personal cost. He gets Ron an Owl, almost tells Harry how to beat a dragon (and that's the kind of stuff Sirius Black simply just goes around knowing, how to take down Dragons), gets Harry his firebolt and Hogsmeade slip. Sirius is generally an emotionally intelligent person, and this is after 12 years of forced isolation from civilisation.

The tragedy of Sirius' arc in OOTP is that there's no one around him who can relate to his experiences. This makes it impossible for Sirius to find the kind of empathy and support he needs from the members of the order. By OOTP, Sirius' mental health, whilst constantly deteriorating is also displayed on technicolour before the entire cast. He's not allowed any secrets, his abusive childhood, his unprocessed grief, years of dementor and solitary confinement related trauma, the fact that he lost his entire twenties, his burgeoning alcoholism is all on display and not spared judgement from the self-righteous members of the Order who did not support him at 21 and are not going to support him at 33.

Furthermore, the narrative repeatedly validates him. He insists that Harry should be told the truth, and he's right, he insists that he can do more instead of just being locked up and left alone and he's right, he wants Snape to restart Harry's lessons and he's right, he repeatedly and actively disagrees with Dumbledore's opaque methods and again, he's right. He gives Harry the two way mirror because Harry needs him to be there, and as Godfather, it is Sirius' responsibility to find a safe way to ensure that happens.

Whilst he's not at his best, he's still trying, he's trying so hard to be what everyone needs him to be even when its contrary to his own instincts and emotional needs which are either dismissed entirely by the people around him or mocked with derogatory catchphrases like "fit of the sullens" that its genuinely heartbreaking that despite him going out of his way to help the Order, not only is his devotion not returned it's barely even acknowledged. They never try to acquit him, there's no mission run by the Order to try and recapture Peter or get Sirius a trial or even an opportunity to give a press conference (which, with the political climate in OOTP would actually be a great way to discredit the ministry), Dumbledore pretty much just locked him in and threw away the key, a circumstance not entirely different from the past 12 years of Sirius' unfortunately short life. An acquitted Sirius would mean a discredited justice system and ministry and also a powerful wizard to run missions again, but this prospect is not even brought up let alone addressed. He gets a posthumous consolation through a footnote in the Daily Prophet, like that could compensate for the trauma and the decade he's lost.

I think it's very binary to put people into boxes and go "this person is only these set of traits and that's all they can be." Sirius is more than his grief for the Potters and love for Harry and years of isolation and torture. He's a brilliant detective, one of the order's most powerful duelists, someone who is blatantly not afraid of calling people out, be it Walburga or Crouch or Dumbledore, someone who despite growing up in a cesspit of bigotry and violence fights for people like Lily Potter and Remus Lupin and Hermione Granger. The guy who barely tolerates Kreacher but is distasteful of Crouch's treatment of Winky. Sirius, like most people, comes with facets and is possibly one of JKR's finest creations. Not that she seemed to realise it herself.

Not that that's surprising.

The most interesting thing about Sirius and Dumbledore, and Dumbledore's repeated refusal to trust Sirius is that unlike pretty much everyone else in the order, Sirius knows that Dumbledore and Grindewald used to be friends. Lily wrote it to him and Sirius read it. If Sirius could figure out the GoF plot while being half starved to death and living in a cave, a free healthy Sirius with a very much alive James Potter would probably have put the whole plot together. I wonder how much that influenced their dynamic in OOTP because whilst the others have nothing on Dumbledore, Sirius does. If Sirius can spare Dumbledore his judgement despite knowing the truth, Dumbledore can get over Sirius being a Black.

[elliesbabygirl]

Hypophrenia

Ellie Williams x Female!reader

Summary: A sudden meltdown near Ellie causes you to worry about her attraction to you. Ellie and reader are in a relationship already .

Warnings: Crying, mentions of a panic attack, nail picking and a college wellness center (we all know college centers suck ).

Author's note: New piece of writing, who's excited? Hopefully, this piece turns out alright in the public eye and obviously encourages me to try new styles and write more often!. Reblogs, comments & likes are greatly appreciated.

Wc: 0.8

Hypophrenia

[hi-po-fre-ne-a ] • Greek

(n) A vague feeling of sadness, seemingly without any cause.

Now playing: I just wanna feel your love again - Montell Fish

“Ms.l/n”

You didn't mean for it to happen, one minute you're fine and dandy. The next you're hyperventilating while your vision becomes blurry. The worst part was Ellie noticing your meltdown and immediately getting up from her seat to notify the professor.

“Ms.l/n!”

A low voice caught your attention, you couldn't bother responding fully instead choosing to hum to let them know you're listening.

“How are you? Ms.williams said you were experiencing..issues? I'm dr.Castillon and I am one of the many counselors here for students like you. Which you obviously know, care to explain what happened today?”

Great, a wellness center. Ellie brought you to a wellness center, she thought something was wrong with you. You pinched and picked at the skin surrounding your nails as you looked up at dr.Castillon.

“Nothing's wrong, I just had a moment in my lecture s'all”

You responded, eyes wary as you looked around at the office space. Lightly cluttered, strong smell of coffee and degrees all over the walls.

“You had a moment? Do you wanna explain that to me?” Dr.Castillon asked as they readjusted themselves into a more entertained position, the chair squeaking as they laid back.

You didn't have to look back to know that castillon was giving you a condescending smile. The speed of which you picked your nails at increasing as you felt trapped in a box.

“Is this neces-”

A knock at the door interrupted you, moving to look behind you as the door quietly opened to reveal what looked like another counselor to you.

"Castillon- oh forgive me, I don't mean to interrupt but dr.Castillion is needed” Seeing your chance, you nodded at light speed. Already up from your chair as you grabbed your backpack, shrugging it on.

"nono, it's okay! There's something I need to do anyways"

Slipping past the other counselor, you hurried through the small hall. Eyes focused on the ground as you entered the waiting room. Ellie stood up, eyes full of worry as she came closer to you.

“baby, are you okay?”

You gave her a measly smile as you ignored her question and hurried outside. The chilly november air welcoming you with a harsh kiss to the face, your breath visible as you walked away from Ellie.

You couldn't face her, not now. Not after she had to drag you all the way to the wellness center like a crying baby. The embarrassment was eating you alive as you heard her trying to keep up with you.

“Y/n, wait up! What's wrong?!”

God, you wish the world would just open up and swallow you whole. You couldn't bare having to see her face to face and explain what was wrong.

Because the truth was, you didn't know. You didn't know why you had these episodes? Could you even call them that? It seemed like a stretch to call them episodes and you couldn't call them panic attacks because it just came on whenever you were fine with no probable cause.

“Y/n! Listen to me!”

Ellie stopped in front of you, hands on your shoulders to keep you from running away. Her lips in a small pout as she took in the way you looked and it was then when she realised that you had looked tired.

Your eyes dead as you just stared at her with no will to response. How long had you been feeling this way? And why didn't you tell her? It made Ellie feel like a bad girlfriend and an even worse friend.

“Oh baby..”

She wrapped you in a hug, tears pricking her own eyes as she nestled her face into the crook of your neck. Ellie shuddered, the feeling of her brown jacket against your own puffer motivating you to hug her back.

She could sense your insecurity, you were scared of how she would react. Scared that Ellie wouldn't wanna be with you, all because of a meltdown and it broke her heart.

“Baby, I love you..and nothing's going to change that okay?" she whispered into your neck, her hand finding the back of your head as she slightly massaged your hair.

The two of you might've looked weird, hugging in the middle of the walkway while crying but Ellie couldn't give a single fuck neither could you because you needed her in that moment and she knew that too.

© 𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙮𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡 ─ 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙙. 𝙙𝙤 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙥𝙮, 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠 𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙢𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙖 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙨.

[blond-jerk-tourney]

Strawberry Bracket: Bracket Finals

Propaganda from submitters Under Cut

Nanami Kiryuu

She's the mean girl of the show, and a pretty interesting take on the "bitchy vain school rival of the protagonist" trope. She spends most of her early screentime being a bully and most of her later screentime being both the biggest loser imaginable and deeply sad/troubled (which still does not erase how much of an asshole she can be). She even laughs like your stereotypical mean rich girl. Nanami has so many problems and sucks so so bad. I adore her.

Shes a psychotic bully who seeks to ruin the lives and reputations of any girl who gets more of her brothers attention than she does. Reasons Nanami Kiryuu deserves to win: - she has made many attempts at physical and psychological terrorism against Anthy Himemiya (including a plotted wardrobe malfunction at a crowded social gathering) simply for drawing more of her brother's attention than her - tried to fill Anthy's bedroom with wild animals (a snail, a snake, and a live octopus) to make her out to be a freak only to find that her room was already full of wild animals - she bankrolled an elementary schoolers crush on her to turn him into her personal boyservant - briefly non-personed a member of her bully entourage for sharing an umbrella with her brother - received a luxury cowbell due to a shipping error and smugly wore it to school for weeks flaunting it like high coture - when her bully entourage rebelled against her due to her brothers manipulation she brought them back in line by just straight up beating the shit out of all of them - all in all just a petty, goonish motherfucker (she also does the ohohohohoho anime girl laugh)

she's blond: despite being Japanese her hair is yellow, unlike her brother's. yellow is even her image color. she's a jerk: introduced as a jealous and dishonest scheming bully, she is one of the more outwardly antagonistic characters in a cast where pretty much everyone is a Real Piece Of Work she's the best: the quintessential ohoho-laughing ojou, her fully-realized character arc makes people both laugh and cry even her sidekick is a blond jerk! how many blond jerks have their own blond jerk sidekick?

i don't know what you've heard but she's NOT the kind of girl who lays eggs!

The token mean rich girl of the franchise. Does the classic "ohohoho" laugh. Doesn't like either of our main characters. She never actually seems to get her way, and secretly has a lot of her own problems. also she lays eggs and turns into a cow

Absolutely THE quintessential anime mean girl. I mean literally her laughing is THE meme for the hohohoho anime laugh. Needs attention So Badly and straight up bullies anyone she deems a threat to that (so basically Everyone). I haven’t finished RGU but apparently she duels with the intent to kill and drowned a kitten once because it was taking up too much of her brother’s attention? Also she’s 13 which explains a lot

Char Aznable

He's extremely blonde and he's a total asshole. he has had a gay thing with 2 people and tried to kill both of them. he makes a new identity and its arguably more blonde and more of an asshole. look up Quattro Bajeena

Snooty little motherfucker supreme. "I have never betrayed anyone in my life" says man who spent his whole career lying to people. He's in love with his rival and he won't admit it. He's my silly rabbit. He is the "I came here to laugh at you" guy

Char is an environmental terrorist who dropped space colonies of people living in space onto earth so people would leave earth for the earth to heal from human damage. He's a prince that should have been assassinated seducing the new prince while undercover to kill the family that killed his family. Anyway vote for Char. He stole the name Char from some other guy from space Texas who he caused the death of

Excuse me that's not char aznable that's quattro bajeena, why would you ever confuse the two :/

[fillinforlater]

can i request for smut bomi?

missionary, tits play

Phone: Return of the Angel +2

Male Reader x Yoon Bomi, Kim Minju x Yeh Shuhua

Length: 1730 words

Tags: kinda an orgy, missionary, tits play, tits sucking, cumming on tits, light bondage, loser/winner as dom/sub dynamic, thigh worship, needy, loud moans, pussy eating, thighs as ear muffs, smothering thighs and tits, everyone = horny

TW: very stupid also UNEDITED QUICKIE

Inspiration: dude, this anon waited over a year (23rd January of 2022 till now lmao). I hope it was at least somewhat worth the wait. Bomi is not only a talented and hilarious idol, she also got a killer body ffs. Thanks for the GIFs @friskyriskywhisky

(A/N: HAPPY MINJU DAY! (Ey, this is technically a Minju fic? There is angel in the title.) Ofc I got a fic that at least features our beautiful Minmin, but also show love to Bomi and Shuhua for they are HOT.)

“Actually, I forgot the punishment. I’ll go to the bathroom and clean up, maybe I have a punishment idea till then.”

Shuhua leaves you baffled and quickly walks out of the room. Her cum covered thighs and ass sway with every step. It’s like she is dancing while searching for your bathroom.

“On the left!” you shout. Shuhua disappears around the corner and you hear her lock the bathroom. You return and see a wet, naked Minju, clearly distraught that she lost the competition. Before she can jump you, you walk towards the kitchen, out of her sight. Maybe this will prevent her from acting on her hyper-horniness. Suddenly, the doorbell rings.

“Oh, fuck,” you curse out and quickly reach for something to put on. Shuhua is in the bathroom so a bathing robe or towel is not an option. Some sweat pants and a jacket will have to do. The doorbell rings again. You look insanely stupid when you open the door.

“Hello? Who is this?”

“Oh, hello,” the person responds in a feminine voice, “are you the guy from—”

"The app?” you interrupt her with a cheeky grin, before scanning her body. She wears a large overcoat that looks like one from the 1920s. Something about her mature look and overall allure makes your fantasy go wild. Hopefully she really is here for this one thing.

“From the flip phone?” she adds and wiggles her eyebrows. You nod and grab the top of her jacket. When you pull her in she almost stumbles over her own feet. You must have caught her by surprise there. 

“Sorry, didn’t want you to get cold,” you try to explain yourself, but her lips are already on yours. They are smooth and moist, you can feel her lip stick stick to you. She wiggles her shoulders and her jacket comes loose. The tight white dress below looks way better anyways. Although this woman might be a stranger, she is leaning into the kiss with all her passion and her sizable breasts crash into your chest like airbags of pleasure. 

“I’m not cold at all,” she huffs in a sultry tone and begins to undress you too, “but thanks for being such a gentleman.”

“Before we continue this,” you respond and wrap an arm around her small waist, “at least tell me your name.”

“I’m Bomi, but please, just call me Noona.”

You smile. Your heartbeat increases after hearing her needy, yet imposing words. Wordlessly, you guide her to the living room as she pulls off each piece of your clothing. The couch still looks like a mess, and Minju sits on it with a grumpy, annoyed, yet cute expression. These glasses are something else. 

“I’m sorry,” you say, scraping the back of your head,”but I have other people over. You know, for the same reason as you.”

“I know her,” Bomi giggles in her most sultry tone,”Who could forget Angel? I think she is the one who caused this mess?”

“Yeah. She brought a friend and things went overboard.”

“I see.”

Bomi spins you around and your already stiff rod presses against her dress. She urges you to push her into the cushions, into the dirty juices. You oblige and land on top of her. The two of you giggle and Bomi pins you with her gaze. She has this ability to entice you with just her eyes, so her body might actually give you an untapped boost of desire. 

A wink and she tugs down her dress. Two massive melons jump free from the tight enclosure. Their dark pink bipples are stiff and urge you to latch your lips onto them. But first, you have to give them a good squeeze, feel the softness on your fingers. It’s unlike Minju’s or Shuhua’s thighs, but they are just as arousing. 

“Noona, fuck,” you groan and lean down to her bosom, eyes still fixed on hers.

“Suck them,” she responds, a hand in your hair,”but please, fuck me already.”

Bomi pulls aside the silk that blocks off her entrance. It’s wet and inviting, so you slip right into it. The woman below you writhes and moans loudly, as if to free herself of all the stress and tension from everyday life. You gladly help her to achieve this goal. You suck harshly, you pistion hard, you give her your all. 

The contortions of joy and pleasure on Bomi’s face are great, but your ass gets attracted to a different sight. Minju sits at the other end of the couch and thrusts her three of her fingers into her tight cunt. She looks very envious of Bomi and—whether willingly or unwillingly—tries to seduce you with her wide hips and squelching pussy. Luckily, someone puts an end to this.

“Yah, Minju!” a nude Shuhua shouts from the doorframe,”You lost the game! No orgasm for you!”

She walks over to Minju and forces the Angel’s arms behind her back. With a belt that you recognize as yours, Shuhua ties Minju up and leaves her standing, with needy eyes and shaky legs. You want to watch this story unfold, but Bomi forces your drooling mouth back to her nipples. Apologetically, you continue to suck on them.

“Focus, boy,” she moans,”you’re so good at this. Give me all of your cock.”

You spread Bomi’s legs a bit further apart to pound her faster, which evokes her to throw her head back into a puddle of your cum. The gooey mass sticks to her hair, but she doesn’t give a shit and pushes her pelvis up into yours. You switch up your rhythm and to the other nipple, all to give Bomi the best experience. 

In the meantime, Shuhua has fun teasing Minju. 

“Ah, it’s so fun to know I won. I made him cum and you didn’t. That’s although your thighs are so round and big.”

Shuhua puts two fingers at Minju’s mouth and fishes out her tongue. With her other hand, she caresses Minju’s body, her breasts, her waist, her thighs. When Minju starts to drool, Shuhua collects the saliva in the palm of her hand and slaps it onto Minju’s pussy. It’s a mesmerizing game, and Minju’s whiny, needy moans show that she loves and hates it.

You put your thumbs on Bomi’s nipples and rub up and down like on a control stick. Your lips place kisses on other spots of her tits, while you find the right spot to pound her into oblivious bliss. The way her muscles flex, both on her face and in her pink cavern tells you that she is close to an orgasm. A few more thrusts and she—

“Yes! Oh my God, hng!”

Unbothered by her shacking Unnie, Shuhua sits down on the couch and tells Minju, who kneels in between her spread legs, the punishment of the game:

“You have to kiss and lick my thighs, every single spot, until I’m satisfied. Oh, and don’t forget to cover them in praise.”

Minju gets to work and so do your balls. With Bomi’s orgasm subsiding, your own is impending. You continue to jolt your hips forward, but you remember that not everyone might enjoy you cumming inside them without asking. You stop your licks on Bomi’s tits and ask:

“Noona, I’m close. Where can I—”

“Not inside,” she gasps,” on my boobs, cum on my boobs.”

You chuckle at her words of choice. Words won’t form, as her suffocating pussy leaves you breathless. Pull out and position yourself over her round chest. While you jerk your mind to numbness, your eyes pick up how Minju drags her tongue up Shuhua’s trembling underthigh. The victorious girl coos and giggles. 

“Hm, who has the best thighs?”

“Miss Shuhua has,” Minju pouts on the smooth skin.

“True. Now kiss them. Good girl—or should I say, good loser?”

You stare at them for a second longer, before realizing that Bomi still awaits your cum on her tits. As if to say ‘my bad’, you tighten the grip and a couple of strokes later, you unload on Bomi’s round melons. She gasps in surprise of the hot stuff covering her even hotter skin.

The two of you say nothing, both chest heaving after this exercise and superb stimulation. Shuhua’s chest heaves as well, but her stimulation is still ongoing. Minju goes from smothering one massive thigh with kisses to the other, hands still tied behind her back. Shuhua has both hands in her own locks. She gets off from a simple tongue on her meaty thighs, but you are certain that she would enjoy it—

Before your thought can manifest itself, Shuhua already takes action. She locks Minju’s head in a tight grip of her round, trunky tree trunks of thighs. The poor girl was just about to pass back from one gigantic thigh to the other, when Shuhua starts to suffocate her in a glistening slit. 

“Yes, eat me! Your tongue is so good!” Shuhua screams manically and throws her head back. She misses the view of a pussy-drunken Minju, who licks and sucks and devours Shuhua’s entrance as if her life depends on it. In the case of this horny angel, you���re fifty-fifty on if she perhaps needs some form of sexual activity to not die. Maybe she is just horny, maybe she needs the bodily fluids of others to survive. Either way, her esophagus will inevitably be flooded.

“Oh fuck, Angel, I—”

Shuhua’s consistent moans and screams get cut short right before her climax. Bomi has risen from her post-orgasmic state of limbness and now presses both her cum covered tits into Shuhua’s face. Bomi looks mildly annoyed, and you can’t really blame her. 

“You may cum,” Bomi whispers in a threatening tone, “but do it quietly, while you clean my tits. You’re not some winner, just a horny bimbo with massive legs.”

Rub your eyes, then continue to gawk. Shuhua convulses and her pussy sprays messily, like a broken water hose. Minju gets drowned in the clear nectar and laps it up with dazed eyes, like it’s liquor making her drunk. Bomi squeezes her breasts from both sides and spreads your spunk on Shuhua’s face, like it’s the canvas for a postmodern art project. 

With every female person in this house insane, you’re the only bastion of sanity left. And you’re hard. Screw sanity.

[gravehags]

fever for the fire

Pairing: Cumulus x f!Reader

Rating: Explicit

18+ ONLY MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Tags: semi-public sex, soft dom Cumulus, finger fucking, reader staring at Cumulus' divine cleavage, Cumulus being a little bit of a stalker, pet names

Words: 1,720

Summary: This party fucking sucks. But what's waiting for you outside, certainly doesn't.

a/n: HORNY GHOULETTE HOURS ARE NOW here's the Cumulus smut I promised y'all and there's not a lot of story build up I just want to do filthy, filthy lesbian things to her. That's it that's the fic. Also era 4 ghoul outfits fucking rule.

divider by @ghuleh-recs

All at once, the party became too goddamn loud.

Someone brought an amp and Dewdrop’s guitar out and all of a sudden, they were being treated to the most horrific hell sounds from the aforementioned instrument while the offending ghoul laughed and laughed. Siblings were getting more and more animated as more and more liquor became consumed and those who hadn’t found someone to make out with were playing drinking games on the ornate mahogany table. You could feel the headache creep up your spine and start to settle at the base of your skull, so you set your punch down (what was even in this stuff?) and stepped out. After you shut the door behind you, the party became wonderfully muffled as you wandered down the cloister towards the courtyard. Finally, you had traveled enough that the chirp of crickets was the only sound filling the air, the hot day finally surrendering to a pleasantly warm summer night. You walked out a few yards onto the grass after slipping off your party shoes and luxuriated in the cool blades beneath your feet and the bliss of finally being alone.

Or so you thought.

“Hey,” the voice comes from behind you suddenly and you spin in place, cussing loudly. Reclining on a lawn chair lounge was a ghoulette with crooked smile on her lips. Her head was cocked slightly to the side, causing the riot of blonde curls that erupted from it to bounce. You could see her fangs peeking out as her smile widened.

“Fucking hell you scared the shit out of me,” you sighed, hands fidgeting in front of you as the ghoulette continued to stare. “You’re…you’re Cumulus, right?” It was an educated guess. Or rather a guess based on her beautiful curvy figure which you had observed from time to time in the library. You knew her name, but that was all.

The ghoulette makes a noise of affirmation in her throat, somewhere halfway between a giggle and a purr. It makes your stomach clench and you flex the muscles in your hands before putting them behind your back.

“Nice night,” Cumulus says in her warm voice, turning her gaze skyward. You nod and when you actually take in her figure, your throat goes dry. She’s wearing the standard ghoul uniform, but had done away with the restricting tie and had unbuttoned the black dress shirt enough to give a glorious view of her ample cleavage, framed between black suspenders. You avert your gaze a moment too late and you can see her fangs again as you flush horribly.

“Take a seat, sugar.” She pats the cushion next to her left knee and you hesitate only a moment before complying. “Party too much for you?”

You roll your shoulders and groan, very aware of how close the two of you are now.

“It’s not my scene, I got bullied into coming and then got ditched. Typical shit.”

She tuts and begins to wind one of her ringlets around a clawed finger. You try not to watch out of the corner of your eye.

“Poor thing,” she coos. “And now you’ve found me. You’re one of the librarians, right?”

You’ve never seen Cumulus before, well not without a mask that is, and you frown slightly.

“Uh yeah. How did you know that? Have we met?”

Sharp white teeth flash in the darkness and she takes her bottom lip between them while looking at you from underneath long lashes. Your cunt clenches and you’re back to balling your fists, trying desperately to smother whatever the fuck this is.

“No, we haven’t met. Not formally anyway, but I’ve seen you puttering around with the books. Pretty little thing.” Your eyes go wide and there’s that feeling again in your stomach as your eyes dart to meet hers. When she reaches out to brush the tips of her fingers against the fist at your side you nearly choke, chest heaving. Her fingers inch forward to toy with the black and red fabric of your slinky dress and you let out an exhale you know sounds so pathetically desperate but fuck she was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen and that was with the mask. The fuck were you supposed to do now after seeing her face?

“Do you want me, little librarian?” she asks suddenly. She’s not looking at you, but instead at the material in between her fingers. “Because I’ve wanted you. I watch, you know. I’ve seen the way you smile. The way your hair falls over your shoulders. The way you’ve gone so long, so painfully ignored by others. Tell me, would you let me have you all to myself?” Her eyes shoot upwards to meet yours again and your jaw hangs open inelegantly, mouth dry and body wanting.

“Yes.” Your voice is raw and cracked, you know you sound like these are the first words you’ve ever spoken in your life. She pulls back, practically glowing, and pats her lap.

“C’mere, baby,” she says softly and you don’t even hesitate before standing up. You inch your dress up your thighs and with a few maneuvers manage to straddle her generous hips. When you settle, she slides her hands up your thighs and you gasp at how cool her touch is.

“Air ghoul,” she says simply while caressing your legs, delighting in how the goosebumps pebble under her touch. You nod dumbly, bracing yourself on the arms of the lawn chair. You’re soaking wet, so wet you wouldn’t be surprised if you were leaving an embarrassing mark on the front of Cumulus’ black jeans but she doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, she’s almost gleeful as her hands slide further up your thighs to grip at your hips and belly, her claws digging deliciously into your flesh. You bite back a moan at the sensation as your hips rock wantonly against her. All she has to do is lean forward ever so slightly and you’re lunging towards her to slam your mouth into hers. You’re over-eager but she’s patient, waiting for you to slow and match her pace as she languidly licks into your mouth. She makes sweet noises under you and you cant your hips again, sucking hungrily on her bottom lip. When she moves one of her hands from under your dress to pull at your hair you break the kiss with a loud moan. Cumulus smiles up at you beatifically as you continue to grind your sopping cunt onto her.

“P-please. Please Cumulus, I need you.”

She laughs at you, warm and bright, continuing to caress your scalp.

“You want me here? Right now, in the garden? Where anyone can see us? Filthy girl.”

A pitiful whine leaves your lips when you feel one of her claws toying with the waistband of your underwear. You’re starting to feel dizzy and drunk, long after the party punch has worn off. Her hand slides down between the two of you and you choke on your gasp when she pushes the gusset of your panties aside, letting her fingers brush at the heat of you. She inhales sharply through her nose and a small growl bubbles from her throat.

“So fucking wet, baby. I’ve wanted this for so long.”

You nod frantically and your grip on the arms of the lawn chair becomes painful when she slips one finger between your folds and runs the pad of it over your clit. You practically howl and she rubs at you slowly, methodically. Cumulus is breathing heavily now, clearly enjoying the mess you’re making on her hand as she slides her finger inside of you and you loudly keen. Her pace begins to gradually quicken as she adds another finger, curling both inside of you to hit that gorgeous spot that makes lights dance across your vision. She’s gasping and heaving as much as you are as she fucks into you, the noises of your slick the only sound in the darkened garden. When she slows, your eyes fly to hers to plead and she grins.

“Fuck yourself on my fingers, honey. I want to see you come undone.”

Your jaw hangs open and your hips begin to rock against her stilled fingers. She’s got them curled perfectly inside you and you do as she asks, head tilting back as you use her. She’s whispering filthy things to you – that’s it love, so good for me, so fucking sweet – but you barely hear them over the sound of your own moans. Your hips and thighs burn from the effort of riding her hand and you’re about to collapse when you feel that familiar pull on your spine, moving upwards towards your chest. The sounds you’re making are lewd and you’ve probably attracted attention to your quiet garden spot but you can’t stop the jolt of your hips. When you open your eyes to look into her heated stare, you stop breathing for one beat, two beats, and then cry out sharply. She finishes the job, her fingers pistoning inside you at an impossible pace as you ride your orgasm, cunt clenching on her. Cumulus doesn’t stop when your body twitches with overstimulation, not until you mewl against her chest begging for mercy. Slowly, she removes her hand from your underwear and Satan, it’s embarrassingly wet, but she revels in it. Bringing her hand up to her mouth you see her fangs flash yet again as she wantonly licks a stripe up her palm and slips her two fingers inside her mouth. The sound she makes is enough to cause your hips to jerk against her one last time and when she pulls you in to taste yourself on her mouth you don’t object. Pressing your foreheads together she lets out a contented sound before cupping your cheeks in both her hands.

“We, uh,” the words feel heavy and slow on your tongue, “we should probably take this somewhere else.”

“Think you made enough noise to wake the dead, sweetheart, but sure. I know a place.”

When you finally disengage yourself from her and stand, the ache in your thighs and knees causes you to groan. She hops up with little effort and pulls you eagerly towards the direction of the ghoul den.

Your shoes sit forgotten in the grass.

[pixelsl0tz]

Made this for my girl @4zureal , requests are open if you want anything. If this even gets any attention anyways, BUT this does include underground illegal racing, it does switch povs halfway through, smut, fem!reader, bottom aku, fem!reader uses a strap on, overstimulation, edging, neck kissing and mommy kink! I should say I know absolutely nothing about cars so apologies for anything I get wrong. Also this is low key pretty long ngl… hope y’all can be patient and read the whole thing :(. This also might be a bit ooc and I’m very sorry if it is. Also might suck since it’s basically my first time writing smut. But I hope you guys enjoy!!<3

“Are all our racers ready?” A lot of reving was heard as an answer to the question. You looked to your left to see someone already staring at you. You gave him a smug smirk as he looked away with an annoyed eye roll. Akutagawa, your sworn enemy after he beat you the first time you tried out racing and bragged about how easy it was. Safe to say you gave him a fucking heart attack when you participated in the next race and absolutely humiliated his ass. Now here you two are somehow always in each other's races set to beat each other just to have the bragging rights over the other, not even caring about the prize money anymore. Brought out of your thoughts by a loud air horn you put pressure on the foot that was already on the gas pedal and started off as one of the first ones who were ready. Akutagawa’s car was right next to yours and you sped up leaving him behind. “Y/N has taken the lead and is now in first place, she just passed Akutagawa like it was nothing!” The announcer yelled through her microphone.

You smiled a bit and you were already almost done with your first lap. 4 laps total and after this just 3 left. You looked in your rear view mirror to see Akutagawa right behind you, you sped up more to the point where the gas pedal was completely down and you couldn’t push down on it anymore. Your hands steered the wheel to the left to turn and you were completely speeding up leaving Akutagawa behind you. You passed the start which meant you only have three more laps to do. “It seems Y/N is absolutely dominating this race! But it also looks like Akutagawa is having none of that and is catching up to our girl Y/N fast!’ You heard the announcer yell into her microphone again. You look into the right side view mirror to see she was right, he’s catching up fast. You steer to the right so my car would block his from getting in front of me. You kept doing this every time he moved. “Y/N is blocking Akutagawa from passing her by using her car to block his!” You heard some cheers and some booing that you couldn’t give a damn about.

You passed the start once again, two more laps left. You looked back into thr rear view mirror to see Akutagawa steer his car to the left, making you go to the left to block his path only for him to quickly change directions and go to the right instead. Crap, You try to move quickly to block him but you’re too late if you try now then you’ll hit his car. Damn it he tricked you. You completely blocked out whatever the announcer was saying and instead tried thinking of how to get back in front of him. You can’t do what he tried on you cause he’d expect it, fuck. You tried speeding up since you slowed down when he juked you, he only moved in front of you quickly which made you use the breaks and immediately go back to the gas pedal. You are going to fucking ruin him. You two passed the start again, last lap and now the start is the finish line. You need to pass him and fast. You steer to the left quickly and than to the right but he guesses what you were gunna do and is back in front of you before you can blink. He’s getting close to the finish line, you speed up again but this time you see him go to the right a bit. He knows you noticed this, he thinks you’re going left. You’ll show him. You go to the left a bit before you go to the right and put all the pressure you can on the gas pedal.

You’re practically right beside him but he’s still a bit ahead of you, he then unexpectedly speeds up and passes the finish line half a second before you do. Fuck, he beat you. God fucking damn it. “It looks like Akutagawa won the race this time, but who knows what’s in store for us next time!! Racers if you could please make your way off the tracks and wait outside your cars as the viewers make their way out of the arena” The announcer says.

—

I take a deep breath in as I watch Akutagawa get the 10k this race was offering, he looks at me and smugly smirks as I bite my lip from exploding before I take another deep breath in and let it out and I walked up to him already having a plan in my head to get payback. “Hey Akutagawa, congrats on the win. How ‘bout I invite you to my place for some drinks?” I asked him with a bit of a smile. He looked at me confused “Hm, I guess” he replied “Really?” I ask excitedly “I thought you would say no” I said with a bit of a laugh “It would be seen as rude to decline, plus how could I decline an opportunity to brag about my win against you” I simply kept a smile on my face as I clenched my fists. “Great, let me give you my number so I can text you the details” I say with a forced smile, “Very well,” He responds as he takes his phone and unlocks it before giving it to me, “I expect you to lose my number after this” He says as I quickly type my number in and give the phone back to him. “Text ya later” I say as I wave and walk back to my car and get in. I start the car and start my drive home with random Chase Atlantic songs playing to calm my nerves.

I finally get home after about half an hour and set everything up I need for when Akutagawa comes over and while I wait for him to text me. Once I finish sitting everything up my phone buzzes and I quickly check who it is, a random number. I open it and read it “It’s Akutagawa, what’s your address and when do you want me to come over?” “Well doesn’t he get straight to the point” I muttered to myself as I type out a reply. “Hey, you can come over right now and my address is 213 Rose Drive”, read “He seriously left me on read?”I muttered to myself once again as I laughed a bit before I walked over to a cabinet and opened it to get two wine glasses out and a bottle of red wine. I put the wine glasses and the red wine on the counter and now we wait for him to get here.

—

While browsing through movies on Netflix I hear a knock on my door. I get up and walk to the door and answer to see Akutagawa in a random black button up shirt with some dress pants. Holy hell he looks good. “Are you just gunna stare at me or are you going to invite me in?” He asks with a raised eyebrow and a bit of a smirk. I roll my eyes as I open the door completely and walk away “Close the door behind you” I yell out as I get to the counter and open the bottle of red wine “Obviously” He says back and I can just imagine the eye roll from him as I hear the door close. I pour the alcoholic drink into both of the glasses making they’re both around halfway and I take both of them and walk over to the living room to see him just awkwardly standing there. “Are you going to sit down or??” I ask as I sit down and set the glasses down on the coffee table I have in front of my couch. I feel him sit down next to me as I pick up the remote for the t.v to continue scrolling. “Any suggestions as to what I should put on?” I asked as I turned my head to look at him, fuck he looked good as hell. He shook his head as he picked up his glass and took a sip before putting it back down.

I sighed a bit as I decided to just put on 365 Days, I might’ve watched it so many times but a good movie is still a good movie. I heard Akutagawa choke on his wine and I looked over at him “You good? I asked as I tried not to laugh. “Why’d you put this movie on?” He asked with a bit of a blush on his face. “I’ve never watched it before plus it sounds like a good movie so why not” I reply shrugging my shoulders as his face gets even more red.This is perfect, time to execute my plan. “Aww is the poor baby sensitive to sex?” I ask in a teasing voice as I scoot closer to him and my words seem to make him blush even more and he turns his head away from me so I can’t see his face “Of course not, that’s crazy to say” he said which makes me giggle a bit. “Is that true~?” I ask as I grab his chin with my index and thumb and turned his head to me. His eyes widened a bit as he tried looking away but I kept my hold on his chin.

”Are you embarrassed, love?” I asked as my eyes flickered down to his pretty lips. “No” He said as his face heated up a bit more if that was even possible. I looked back up at his eyes and than back down to lips making sure he could see that I did. “Can I?” I muttered and he hesitantly nodded before I pressed my lips against his. He leaned into the kiss and I pushed him into the couch and straddled his lap as he was practically laying down on the couch. I slowly started moving my hips to grind against him and I felt him get hard. He groaned as his hands went down to my hips to stop my movements. “Fuck, don’t do that” he whimpered with his eyes closed. “Whimpering already? I’ve barley even done anything yet baby” I teased as I got off him and grabbed his hand to lead him to the bedroom. He stumbled a bit but caught himself as he followed me like a puppy to my room. I opened the door and quickly closed it once he was in, I pushed him onto the bed and straddled his lap and connected our lips again. He quickly leaned into the kiss as his hands went to my waist. I started moving my hips once again to grind down onto him and he moaned into the kiss which made me smirk.

I got off him and he whimpered a bit, “It’s okay baby, I’m coming back~” I said in a teasing tone “But in the meantime get comfortable” I said with a chuckle as I watched him move onto the bed so his head was on the pillows. “Close your eyes and don’t open them until I say so, ‘kay”?” I saw him nod and he closed his eyes. I opened my drawer and got out a hot pink strapon with some lube, I made my way onto the bed and spread his legs so I could get between them. I put the strap on and lube next to me and I unzipped his pants “Lift your hips for me baby” I said and watched as he lifted his hips “So good for me” I said as i took his pants off. I kissed his neck as I palmed him through his boxers, he moaned a bit and I noticed he bit his lip to stop himself from moaning. “Ah, ah, ah. Stop that, I want to hear those pretty sounds of yours” I said as I sucked on his neck to make a hickey. I heard him whimper as I was palming him and kissing and sucking on his neck.

I stopped palming him. I heard him let out another whimper, “It’s okay” I muttered against his neck and gave him another hickey and kissed his neck one more time before pulling away. I took his boxers off and watched as his pretty hard dick sprung out. “You’re so pretty baby” I whispered and I watched as his face reddened at my words. I got the lube put a decent amount on two of my fingers, “You’re going to feel uncomfortable at first but it’ll feel good soon, okay?” I saw him nod with his eyes still closed as I stuck my index finger in his ass and watched as his face turned into one of displeasure. “It’ll get better” I said as I slowly thrusted my finger into him, “You’re doing so good” Soon enough I felt him start to grind onto my finger while moaning quietly. “I told you it feels better after a bit” I said as I stared to kiss his neck again before I put my middle finger inside him, he gasped quietly as I started thrusting both my fingers into him. He whimpered as I started scissoring him while I press kisses to his neck, “You’re doing so well lovely” I said while speeding my pace up and heard him moan louder. “F-fuck, Y/- Y/N~!” He gasped as I sped up.

“I know, I know” I say as I kiss his lips as he eventually starts rolling his hips to meet my fingers.He suddenly breaks the kiss “F-fuck I’m about to-“ I quickly take my fingers out of him while he whines. “I can’t have you cumming because of my fingers, I want you cumming because of how good I fuck you” I say as I take his button up off and throw it somewhere in the room. I take my shirt off and my pants then I put the strapon on and align it with his hole. “This might hurt a bit” I say as I slowly push in the 8 inch strapon, I only have at least 3 inches in before he’s clenching the bedsheets with his fists and and moaning. “You can make mommy proud and take all of it right?” I asked as I slowly pushed in another inch and watched him nod with teary closed eyes “I want you to say you can make mommy proud and take it” I said as I pushed in another inch. “I can m-make mom- mommy p- FUCK~” He moaned as I pushed in the remaining three inches into to suddenly “Good boy~” I purred as I kissed him and started slowly thirsting into him.

He moaned into the kiss as I went painfully slow “Pl-please go faster” He managed to let out when I broke the kiss “What do you say after that?” I asked as I purposely went even slower. “Pl-please go faster moMMY~” He moaned out as I went brutally fast when he was almost done with his sentence. He started rolling his hips again to meet me halfway while I thrust into him, “I’m ahh~ so, so cl- nghh~ close” He managed to say between moaned “Are you now?” I asked as I suddenly stopped as he whined and he was on the verge of tears. “Please, let me cum mommy! Please, I”ll be good for you. Just let me cum plEASE~ AH~” He let out a high pitched moan as I started thrusting into him faster than before.

“Fuck~ Right thERE!~” He panted as I hit a certain spot that I made sure to keep hitting every time I thrusted back into him. “I’m so, SO clOSE~ Don’t st-stop! ngh~ Pl-PLEASE” He moaned and I kept thrusting into him and he came, his cum squirting onto his stomach and mine. I didn’t stop my ruthless thrusts however and made sure to keep hitting his spot which makes him moan extra loud. “You’re so pretty like this baby” I teased as he moaned from my thrusts as his hands were clenching the bed sheets extra hard. “I’m al- ahh~ almost, there” He let out and after a couple more thrusts he came again but I still didn’t stop. I kept thrusting into him, “It's TOO much~!” He cried out as he hooked like he was about to cry. “Awww poor baby, I thought you wanted to cum. I’m just giving you what you wanted” I said with a shit eating grin as he let out an extra loud moan when I grabbed his dick and started jerking him off.

“FUCK~ I’m cl-CLOSE” He let out a chocked moaned out as he came again on my hand. “Please, no more” He muttered while trying to catch his breathe, “Don’t worry baby, no more, I promise” I said as I pulled out of him and got up from the bed which elected a whimper from him. “I’m coming I need to clean you up” I saw him nod and I took the strapon off and walked towards the bathroom and put it in the sink to clean later. I got a towel and ran it under hot water before going back to Akutagawa to see him on the verge of passing out. I quickly got back onto the bed and cleaned him with the towel and than cleaned myself before putting the towel on my nightstand and laid down next to him. I hugged him and he buried his head in my boobs while his arms were around my waist. “Good night baby, you did so good for me” I said and I heard him hum and I’m assume fell asleep after that cause I’m exhausted.

Made by yours sincerely

pixelsl0tz<33, hope you guys enjoyed this!!

[astrababyy]

it sucks how this book series refuses to allow feyre any sort of agency or consequences anymore. it really ruins the nuance to her.

feyre as a character in book 1 was something kind of special. in book 1, feyre overcame an intense prejudice against the fae — however justified her fears might’ve been considering the rumors that were spreading of faeries killing humans by crossing the wall.

and she didn’t just overcome it — feyre risked her life to save one of prythian’s high lords. she went through pain and torture and turmoil all for a faerie, because of love and loyalty and hope that they could have a future together. that’s actually really beautiful, and i genuinely despise how that’s destroyed in the later books.

feyre doesn’t get to have any agency from book 2 and on. she doesn’t get to have an emotional maturity higher than that of a teenager (which, in fairness, is kinda fair since she’s like 22 in the latest book), blaming other people for her own choices and decisions. feyre doesn’t get responsibility for her actions or a complex look at her suffering and pain.

feyre gave everything to save tamlin — and his court. she gave everything up for the male she loved, and that’s completely destroyed in acomaf by that book having the audacity to treat it as though feyre’s suffering utm was even a little bit due to tamlin.

the suffering has to be pinned on someone — and that someone can’t be feyre, despite her being the one to go down there. someone has to take the blame so feyre can keep playing the victim in a situation where only the victims survived and making jokes out of other people who faced hell all the same. there can’t be any complexity in her wondering if all her actions were even worth it. she can just blame the victims of the situation and move on with her life.

feyre’s the savior of Prythian, and she became that of her own accord. tamlin returned her to her old life, and she went back. she went back despite everything. she suffered torment, fucking death, and anything and everything in between. in the beginning, she hates Fae so much that she feels no remorse for killing a faerie, even if she wasn’t fully in the know of his status as a species. in the end, she’s willing to give up everything for one. that’s beautiful. it’s actually pretty profound and a very noble thing on feyre’s part that’s a real testament to her original character.

however annoying or irritating she was in the books, feyre was a much more balanced character in the first book, in my personal opinion. she had flaws, yes, but she also had skills and intelligence (on occasion) and a noble character to her that made her more likable.

it’s completely ruined by how the books just won’t let her be a person in favor of making her out to be saintly, even though that just makes her annoying asf. feyre destroyed the spring court to get back at tamlin? oh, let’s just pretend that all the lives she ruined aren’t important just ‘cause her feelings were hurt. feyre locked her fucking sister in the house of wind because she didn’t like how she coped? it doesn’t matter, because nesta got “better” anyway! feyre went willingly utm to be the characters’ savior, and makes herself out to be the victim a book later because “tamlin didn’t do anything”?? even though he’s the one that brought her back home where she’d hopefully be safer anyway?? really??

it’s just like… the fact that feyre’s character needed to be bent and twisted into something unrecognizable so it could seem remotely realistic that she’d ever get with rhysand is something so depressing ‘cause her character is ruined and reduced to a love interest to mr iM sO pOweRfuL aNd dEpResSeD LoOk aT mE. like, i’m sitting here wondering how sjm can call herself a feminist when this is how she ruins her mcs.

feyre’s just like- “hero gets saved from suffering by victims then goes back to save them anyway; blames them for not helping her AGAIN when their hands were all but physically tied behind their backs”. like, this is not okay. it’s such a lazy way to portray a character, and it’s really such an injustice to the actually decent personality and arc feyre had in the first book.

in other words: thanks, i hate it. 😃

[hisaribi]

<333 OMG THANK U FOR THE LONG RESPONSE ABT OMEGA JAY + EVEN MORE OF YOUR BETA DICK HCS 😭💞 they're really lovely, I really enjoy how you look at omegas? The protectiveness and how they'd be bigger moreso focusing on protection and stuff ! Cool ! Worldbuilding ! I love how you get these different types of packs (like Damian's!) etc etc

Reverse Robin's Dick is absolutely precious, I love him infinitely. His and Damian's dynamics are <333 just lovely since Damian has mellowed down and softened quite a bit :') <33

SORRY 😭 just being attacked by brain worms, thank u sm for the lengthy answer !!! Small question because rev robins is just so fun and I got like, extra WOAH-ED by it, are you killing off Tim here (Making him RH or some other Crime lord, much colder than what Jason is) or is it still Jason (Eternally doomed god help him 😭)

And ! It just made me imagine big brother Jason ! Even more protective of pups and betas, Dick is both ;-; (is he going to get smothered?)

AGAIN!!! THANK U !!! ur so cool <3

I'm really glad it brought you joy! No you're cool!

the context: beta dick grayson post, omega Jason ask

I love reverse robins as a way to explore dynamics that can still be the same even if everything is so so different, so yeah, and in omegaverse with Dick being the only beta in a pack that isn't used to it and yet somehow holding them together is just great!

but I have sort of difficult relationship with rr, because I have preferences about them, that I don't see a lot lol

one of them Batgirls (minus Steph, or no, idk), being the canon-age, so no, babs isn't youngest in this, she's older than Damian and they have a love-hate relationships that are more sibling-like, Cass is the third eldest, Duke is forth and so on, Staph probably still between Jason and Tim, but idk. Harper also has her canon age, because I said so, anyway, back to all that

another is that Tim joined because of Dick and his obsession with him caused by trauma and all that. So in Reverse Robins he won't be joining the family before Dick. I sorta like him joining during the battle for cowl, the same goes for Duke, actually, but for different reasons. So Tim would be over 17 (lol), and he steps in because Dick being Dick would try and hold a leash on a bunch of elder batfam people who try to become Batmans but they all suck so ye, Tim steps in to help Dick. I have this post about reverse robins where ages are reversed, but not the order of adoption, so something like that would still be good for our reverse robins omegaverse thingie we talk about. so again, we can go around that with B adopting Tim before any of that, but that's a different can of worms. Also I sorta prefer Tim being more on the Oracle side

Now for died and was revived and it was a shitshow (affectionate), I think it should be either Jason or Steph, but also Steph's story as Spoiler compiles me, so no, Tim won't be the Robin who died (they are also Shadows, not Robins, and nobody knew who really lived through all the vigilante thing, if anything and we make Duke join the first, him and Damian constantly changing does create a nice creature vibe, anyway), for me it's still Jason

I also do love the possible body dysphoria Jason would get, because he died on a pretty short side right before Dick appeared in the family (I put their age difference) more like what they have in pre-n52 canon, because I really dislike what they did with ages here, anyway, at least 7 years difference, so Jason died at 15, Dick got to the family right after that and B was grieving and gosh what a shitshow that would be, so back to Jason, he's suddenly really-tall, really buff, and clearly omega, and he comes back in like two years max with his whole Red Hood shtick, and he's like I've been replaced, and looks at a kid who's clearly ready to throw hands with him, who also went like I'm not Shadow, I'm Robin, screw you

And Jason, who was used that nobody, not even Damian, got to the field before they were fourteen, that was a strict rule on B's side (actually Damian was a menace since day one he appeared at Bruce's door at the age of ten, but that's not what you tell your youngest), and yet here's kid who probably didn't live even a decade (I hc that before 13 he was like on a shorter side, but then between 13 and 15 he almost reached his adult height, so he definitely looked younger), and Jason's like... Bruce, at first I wanted to make you suffer, but now I'm going to kill you, how DARE you endanger the kid, what dO YOU MEAN HE ISN'T ADOPTED AND YOU KEEP HIS AS A WARD?! so ye, tiny Dick being the wrench that broke all Jason's dramatic plans

Dick's also has a 1000 quota stare, because he went through grieving B, fought teeth and nails to have his own vigilante persona, and he's used to wrangle Bruce and Jean-Paul, as well as Duke and Damian, and Batgirls, the kid is unfazed by the last Shadow coming back to life and his bag of severed heads is like huh, anyway, moving on

also yes, Dick is going to be smoothered by everyone, he would like it, as long as aside from that time he's treated as equal and stop trying to carry me away I had everything under control. also like really not getting the whole pack stuff, but mimicking it well enough that there's a bet who he would grow up to be, and Damian and Cass look at each other like nope, not telling them

also idk where to put it, so out of mentioned here Tim is alpha, Duke is omega, Steph is omega (and is the fourth tallest of the batfam), Babs is alpha, Cass is alpha, Harper idk, she has alpha vibes, I don't remember actually if I contradict myself, so whatever

so ye, thank you for the ask and have a nice day!

[apatchworkstar]

Hi! >:- 3c surprised to see me here? Cause I'm a bit, to be making this. So! Context is I made a Muu playlist and I wanted to make a post about why I ordered it the way I did. Not to mention why I chose the songs I did.

So, as they say, from the top~

Selfish Princess - Fujiwo

I feel like anyone who knows of Muu and has listened to this song may be able to guess why it's here. But for anyone who hasn't...

I feel like this captures her dichotomy of how she wants to be catered to very well.

Wanna eat that sweet sweet chocolate, wanna drink that hot hot latte, wanna eat that soft soft bread. Wanna eat that sticky cheese, wanna sleep in that fluffy fluffy bed; dozy, dozy have a good night zzz / Wanna eat that bitter bitter liver, wanna drink that red red soup, wanna eat that soft soft flesh.

This song also showcases how lazy she can be when it comes to things she's asked to do. In conjunction with how she expects people to work around her, instead of the other way round.

One, two, three- start dancing to the beat with my mysterious steps / Murmuring, rolling, lazy lazy meow meow; don't wanna do anything! / Three, two, one- the fragrant that makes my heart beat wildly

It also highlights a aspect of hers that can get overlooked. That being that she tends to like people who aren't just seeming to suck up to her.

Guillotine, gunshot, burning or seppuku, any option you'd like. No one can beat me; oh how boring. / Sweet sweet is not enough, show me more of that twisted face. Lalala lalala lalala, see- it's not enough

You may ask "then why would she bully those who aren't giving into her whims?" and that's a fair question! Muu does like to be indulged, after all. She's just also someone who doesn't appreciate people feeding off her without any sort of recompense. This is shown in how she refers to Mikoto in the wireless headphones.

Mikoto-kun, he's a bit of a poser

Overall, it's a good starting song as it shows Muu at a baseline.

I'm waiting for someone to love this selfish me. My pillow is wet with tears at the lonely nights. I watch every second passing by-

but I'm... right?

Selfish, lalala~ Don't be afraid everyone. Please give, give me! Keep giving me everything. Everything can be forgiven because I'm the cutest.

Hello Dystopia - MafuMafu

Ah, Hello Dystopia, my beloved~ Also a very easy pick for Muu, given her role in her school's dynamic.

Now, exit, exit; disappear, if you'd please! / The influence of a desperate god, the screws in my head turn anti-clockwise. It's too late to let us down, isn't it? Don't you beg for your life- let's fall together to the depths of hell. / Here, there's only idiots crawling out of the woodwork who want to play. Let's go in order, starting with whose hands are free- raise them to the gallows

As we all know, Muu has a habit of acting against anyone who she thinks dislikes her/ has ulterior motives-

Rehabilitation, reincarnation, my specialty. A refuge for failures to gather in 140 characters / It's the cruel sin of tearing down a tower of building blocks. All right, we're saving the world; excellent, chanting in unison, almost logged out of life

-We also know that, in some sense, this is meant to be a kindness, as she refers to these actions as "gentle stings".

Let's chant babbled nonsense. Let's grant wishes, no matter what they may be. Good children surely get prizes for perfect attendance; a show made of the dismantlement of the slandered / This is fake news, see. Keep out; die a dog's death. Mostly sources from ambiguous tip offs

It also touches upon some implications about Muu. Namely, that she has a distorted sense of showing and receiving "love"

A utopia where love is uncertain; there's no way of knowing if any of it's true or not anyways. A utopia where love is uncertain. Hysteria where this is certain

And that she tends to view things like love and hate in a transactional nature.

Here's the question, question- what was brought into being after we hurt each other? Excellent answer; dystopia / A shooting gallery for shotguns; thank you, Merry Bad End / Ignorant irony, though there's no conflict. Like it's a piece of cake, throw an entire life into disorder

Furthermore, this song placed here means it can also be read as her initial relationship with Rei

Love me; for my ambiguous self, become mine. Give me validation, hereditary idiot. Have you written the fiction between you and me? The present state of wild delusions and exaggerations, a collar at hand

"hey"

Useless Angel - Nanawo Akari

Now we get to Useless Angel! Something that definitely highlights Muu's more lazy side

It's not that I won't do it, I just can't! / Aah, lately the word on the street is that there's a no-good angel who makes up for her uselessness with angelic power... Well, that's the plan! / I wanna get a good score on my upcoming test, but my brain can't keep up and my thoughts are clattering around. It's Saturday, and I wanna get up early but I can't stop playing online games in the middle of the night / Just lemme say there's nothing I can do about it! Even though I stuck my halo in my mouth / "But can you really fly if you work hard?" I'm making a face that looks like that

But it also shows more of her earnest desire for affection, and the lengths she's willing to go to receive it,

I want to convey to you more and more of my feeling being inadequate. But, when I'm noticed, I get nervous, a miscommunication. My blinking halo is cracking, but with this, I'll change your mind about my identity. I said it's a bluff, but the truth is that there's a foggy feeling of love. I want to search for it with you. / Hey, the no-good, no-good, no-good, no-good me- you'll love her! / I'll make your heart beat, beat, beat, beat just for you! If you'd just look at me seriously, I'd probably do it!

And her anxieties about not being deserving of said affection. Or receiving it for reasons that have nothing to do with her as a person.

But am I at least alright? / I hid my feeling of love in that kind of paper-mache shell, but I want to be laughing with you. Hey the no-good, no-good, no-good, no-good me... are you okay with her? To tell the truth, I don't have any self confidence. I'm an angel, you know. My head is spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning. It is filled with nothing but you- that's what I've been thinking about!

I think I'll be able to fly with this love I've received, since I'm an angel

It's not that I won't do it, I just can't!

Er, well, I'll put a lot of effort in anyway!

Chameleon - Surii

And Chameleon represents Muu in the midst of her efforts to earn love meaningfully. As I said before in this post, Muu doesn't want people to just fawn over her for no reason. And this time she's putting in her all to catch the attention she wants from Rei!

I get dizzy from falling in love burningly. I want to be loved, so I'm being an honour student. As I get irritated, my heart is scattered- but I'm a chameleon that can blend in this much / I want to resist to ask you for your affection. I want to show you the best attitude / A while crying and a while falling in love again. Today's makeup can't be messed with / A passionate chameleon becoming half dead again, but next time, for sure. A passionate chameleon. I'm a chameleon that just wants to be loved by you. Transform and diving into the average class. A complete change into the life of the lower class, piling up the dynamite on myself. Oh my, what a damp noise

But of course, Muu is someone who can't help but stay true to herself, even if it causes her trouble. As much as she tries to hide it, not everything can be covered up by hard work and determination.

The transformation is not perfect; my entire body is not something you desire. I take those dynamites little by little, apparently dangerous / Do you still wanna be loved? / A while buttering up and a while melting; I gotta check today's trend. Dazzling from singing flamingly, living a life with the passing grade. My resentful heart sways back and forth; I'm a chameleon that can be a part of it / My throat is parched, feeling the moment. But can't be forgiven because my outfit is way too flashy.

Even if it's painful, it's just something she ends up slipping back into. And so the loop of effort and pain continues.

Dunno... I cried so much that even my true original colour disappeared. When I tried to run away because it was too hard for me, you smiled at me.

Only want you to love me, is it not enough? Still not enough so try to blend in, chameleon

Ai Janai - DAZBEE

Yes, I know Gunsli has brought this specific song before. It's a great comparison and you should all give it a read when you have the chance! However, I do have my own reasoning. Especially it being placed where it is! Besides, I do do things a bit different from her, even if there are similarities.

But yes! We are slowly approaching the eye of the storm now. Everything is turning upside down and tensions are beginning to run high. Muu's starting to lose it, lost between her desire for love and her desire to earn it. And that's mixing with the burgeoning realization that maybe Rei wouldn't ever like her.

This isn't love, so depressed I feel sick. This isn't love; it isn't, right? Is that the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard? Denied, isn't it? / On an answer sheet with A, B, and Cs, I gladly marked each question wrong. Could we have a secret love? "let's solve the hard questions together", "I'll wait for you after school" ...as if you would say that. / Before I fall apart, I wanna confess about this love that won't go away / Something's wrong with me, I must be going crazy. I'm in a drunken stupor filled with regret /I'm half joking and about to cry / I won't get my hopes up

Further and further until we enter it and anything can be set off with something as simple as a push or shove.

My sixth sense is tingling, I realized I really need to see you / It's like I'm sucked into a vortex each time I remember, and I can't get away

I look up the psychology of your actions online for signs / "Let's share secret looks between us", "I'll be standing in the hallway" ...but you're not listening, are you?

You'd resent me for the deal I've made in my head

Is this respite before I'm faced with a dilemma?

(Bonus!) Notice - Moe Shop

It's the bonus round! Also known as the song I keep dithering about putting in the playlist or not. It just feels. Very fitting for this moment.

Signal broken, error, retry. No one told me how to do this. Faith, belief un-fucking-believable. Shaking, wavering proof of my love / Taking long to get a reply, regretting. Maybe I'm thinking about it too much. Shaking, wavering, vibrating

That sensitive age where you wanna start a coup, can't pick up anything dropped. Stand, bow, this is a warzone

Cut off 5cm of my school skirt, feeling a little blue and sentimental. Senpai please, notice me. I already know there's a sweetie, so bad that I seriously consider suicide. It really hurts. / Eyes glaring in the dark

A piano in the evening, Ivory skies above. I hear a voice calling someone to stop. Please almighty god, stop those footsteps before the magic of misunderstanding fades

"Please, senpai. Notice me"

Short lived rumours last 75 days. That couple who were dating, broken up already, love is a lie.

Messed Up! - Natsuyama Yotsugi

And now we arrive at the incident- including this, only five more songs to go...! Thankfully God's Parasol is very short. More like a preview than anything. But back on track! We finally reach a release and now Muu has to deal with the aftermath.

I messed up and I killed 'em!? I caused a big commotion in the early afternoon- a rouge coloured puddle. Ah, they went and died!! I've gone and done this and that, and now I'm getting worried. I wipe my sweat away as the cicadas cry. Crisis! Crisis! My thoughts go 'round and 'round. This story's taken a dark turn, oh... / There's nothing I can do. Escaping into a träumerei, please, close my eyelids already

"Co-ming. Who is it?" I open the door to a flood of justice "Could you tell us the truth about this incident" "Actually no, first, a word of apology please" Ah, I'm sorry, I'm s-s-sorry. I've been a bad girl, that's why please / I'm just getting my just desserts / My offenses are as stated. Oh judge, please send me to the gallows already / They messed up and killed 'em!? What a big fuss over nothing, a story turned märchen / and the whole crowd laughs like fools

Darling - Keina Suda

And now the aftermath starts to set in. After all, as we've seen in milgram (and Undercover) Muu is a girl filled with regret and wistfulness

Am I not good enough? I know I'm the only one / I can't win your heart. I know you better than anyone / Darling, I'll give you my everything- please, give me all your love

There is no point in being alone. Words couldn't be created. I know- I know, but I keep pretending. We can't be together; our hearts will stay apart / but my love for you is shameless / Panicked, you were having too much fun

Just forget it, I'll be waiting for all this to end / Darling, take me someday; I long for that day to come

God's Parasol - Shikiura

This is so short I feel like I could just put all the lyrics here lmao. So that's what I'm gonna do

With the parasol god gave me, I'll come to you, fluttering in the air. I don't need anything else, melting away with your sweet kisses. With the parasol god gave me, I'll come to you, fluttering in the air. Why won't you say anything other than goodbyes?

First Love Diary - Kashii Moimi

Now we're really getting into the conflicting feelings- the regret, the frustration and sorrow all melding into something manically tangled.

I could never come to hate you, and so this ingrained self-restraint has no function. I'm forever remembering the secrets shared just between us two. Do I have to keep my feelings under lock and key? Saying "I want to see you" is my signal that I've been hurt, but I'm reluctant to cry all by my lonesome after putting on a brave front. / It'll do me no good (Don't leave) to get this attached to you. (me alone...) / please don't abandon me / I want to stay gentle (I'm the best in the world)

Dizzily inhaling your gaze, I don't even know what I've been doing to survive until now (You're heartless, aren't you?) I hate it, darling. I beg you, grasp my hand and rebuild me as someone new. Just as you want me! (Aren't I remarkable?) Maybe everything about me is becoming immoral in an indifferent and imbecilic way. Yet your hands are forever lovely (this is our starting point) / Indeed your words are my drug. I'm falling upside down, so won't you catch me? (And take me away from these dark days?) / Even so, darling... (I want you)

I hate it darling, become my sustenance! You know, I can't feel a single thing. You're constantly not there (Is nothingness so awful?) I love you. Can you tell me there'll never be another?! / "My first love won't be fulfilled" Then what should be done about me, who was able to fulfill it?

Will it always be so painful? Yes, yes, I feel the same way. So let's hurry up and go together (to heaven)

Chronophobia - 2進P

And finally, the point Muu was at when she was whisked away to Milgram. This is the point where the mania has faded, only leaving hurtful memories that dig into her psyche.

Time is projected so clearly; it goes on everywhere. Beautiful lights deceive my eyes as usual. I sloppily tore the flickering image that's always next to me into pieces- you know, even if I close my eyes, it's still there. I dislike everything about time. I don't care at all for eternity. The bitter words and their meaning don't accomplish anything; they've left intense scars and won't stop.

Why exactly is that moon still waxing and waning? I can hear that deeply warped noise so close to me. I run a tightly gripped knife across my face, wanting that unpleasant sound to disappear. Don't touch me, don't come near me, sounds of time. Since I'm begging, just kill me already.

There's no smile in my eyes. There is only the unstopping memory someone has violated me with.

Why, why do I keep seeing it? Please, stop it. Shut my eyes. / Please, stop it. Let me sleep.

[mindingmybidness12]

Tara Carpenter x Gn! Reader

Suspicious Minds Part 1

Warnings: Cursing and swearing... like a lot

You were rushing to an early grave and there was nothing you could do to stop it. It all started when Your alarm clock failed to wake you up on time. This, of course, made him late to work which brought him to where you are now. Tearing down the bike lane of your neighborhood while getting your ass chewed by your boss. 

“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!! YOU’RE LATE!! YOU HEAR ME?? LAAAAATE!!”

“Sir, I am quite literally five minutes away. I was only supposed to clock in only a minute ago–”

“One minute is a minute too much! Now you're telling me you're gonna be FIVE MORE MINUTES LATE?? UNACCEPTABLE!!”

He then resorted to even more yelling and at this point you were already over it.You couldn’t help but think about where you're headed at the moment. You were rushing into a dead end job just to get yelled at by your douchebag boss and for what? The pay wasn’t even that good. He was just bullshitting you to believe that nobody else would hire you, when in reality, nobody would really want to work for a jackass like him. Except you did.

Key word here being did. You promptly slammed on the brakes of your bike and focused on the phone call.

"Now you listen here you old ass piece of shit," you started causing him to splutter but you didn't give him the time to recover "I have had it up to here with your crap! You treat me like shit. You underpay me. You're smelly, ugly, fat, and old as shit but you still got the nerve to push me away from the register every time a woman comes by like they're actually here to see your fugly ass! You're fifty years old in a beginner's level karate class! Get on a damn treadmill first! Then after you've had your fill, choke on a bag of dicks and fall down the stairs. Then if you find it in your ugly soul to get back up, then just go all the way to hell !!"

You hung up the phone before he could recovered and started laughing as you did. How's that for a two weeks notice? You started dancing in celebration. You couldn't help yourself. You were finally free from a crappy ass job and a crappy ass boss. Now you could finally turn your crappy life back around. Free at last, free at last! As you were dancing, you hit a quick spin around while transitioning to doing the Dougie you made eye contact with Tara Carpenter of all people. Your jaw dropped and you felt heat creeping up your cheeks from the embarrassment. Still you tried to make a pass at being casual.

"Uh.. hey.. H-how's it going?"

You were not casual.

Tara let out a giggle and grinned at you while returning the greeting with a 'hey' of her own. You had to fight the urge to not grin like an idiot. You tried not to make it so obvious that you were into her. You and her shared only one class but you ended up sitting next to each other and working on an assignment. You had no intention of falling in love with anybody but it just kinda... happened. You cracked one half hearted joke and she tried and failed to hold back a snort. From then on you were always seen together in Biology. Laughing, cracking jokes, and teasing. Sometimes you would even get threaten to be split up or thrown out of class but you always managed to keep this calm before that happened.

As much fun as you two had with each other it would always stay within the classroom. It wasn't your fault or hers, it just how it seem to end up. There were days where she'd ask for you to come hang with her but you were stuck working at a shitty job to help pay the bills as an emancipated adult. There were the rare times that you were free after class but she would be linking up with her own friends. You didn't take it to heart but it kinda sucks that you only saw each other few hours out of the week. Before your thought could wonder off too far, Tara grabbed your attention once more.

"So who was the poor person you went full psycho on just now?"

You rolled your eyes but responded anyways.

"Just my dickhead boss... or should I say former boss? Cause I just quit. I've had enough."

"Oh! Well I'm glad you've stuck up for yourself." Tara congratulated you. You just smiled at her while nodding your head in thanks. Tara smiled shyly while turning her head away from you. While the silence stretch on and you were inwardly trying to think of something to say to get the ball rolling. You didn't know if this silence was supposed comfortable or not but you we're kinda afraid to let it go on longer than this.

"So whatchu doing out out here?"

Tara huffed and then went on to explain how she had plans with one of her friends only for them to bail last minute. You just hummed and nodded along as she vented a little bit to you.

"Well sucks to suck doesn't it?"

Tara snorted while giving your arm a shove. You chuckled back before you started thinking again. Tara's plans were cancelled so she was free. You were free from a shitty poopy job with an equally shitty poopy boss. You were already out and together. Hmm.

Chance!

"Hey, Tara wanna go do something?"

"Like what?" she asked looking up towards you.

"Like... I don't know, hang out? Grab a bite to eat? It's like the first time both of us are free and together right?"

"Yeah... yeah!" She nodded getting excited about finally getting to chance to hang out with you outside of class.

"Alright then, let's go."

A/N: The end for now. Thanks for tuning in and let me know what you guys think of my very first post here. I'll see you when I see you.

[maladaptive-day-dreams]

okay but thinking robin thoughts that i have to share with you...IMAGINE getting fucked by coworker!robin in the back of family video. her hand over your mouth to hold in the sinful moans that come from your lips as she fucks you through multiple orgasms??? "gotta be quiet for me baby. we wouldn't want anyone to catch us like this hm?"

ANYWAY-

RUDE OF YOU TO SEND THIS WHEN I WAS ON MY WAY OUT TODAY BC IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT ALL DAY AND NSKDEHRHBS

pls send more things for my Robin brain rot

HERES SOME FILTH FOR YOU (smut under da cut, 18+ MINORS DNI! (fingering, multiple orgasms))

OK BYE IM GOING TO BED NOW PLS ENJOY

She’s got you pinned right next to the locked breakroom door so she can hear if the bell on the front door rings or if Steve yells for help with re-shelving things. One hand on your mouth to keep you quiet while the other is two fingers deep in your sopping cunt, thumb rubbing tight circles on your clit. She’s towering over you, breath hot on your forehead as she watches her hand move beneath the short little skirt you wore to bring her her forgotten lunch. Your panties are tucked in her back pocket and your head is tilted up, eyes closed in a beautiful mix of ecstasy and overstimulation.

You shake your head no, eyes opening all teary as you silently beg her to pause so you can breathe. She moves her fingers in and out of you just a bit faster causing you to gasp and moan into her hand, your thighs trying to tense around her other hand to keep her where she is.

“Gotta be quiet for me baby. Wouldn’t want someone to catch us like this hm?”

She pushes another finger in and rubs your clit even faster as she tries to get you to the edge. You’re trying to cave in on yourself, knot in your stomach coiling tighter and tighter. She knows you’re close so she replaces her hand with her mouth and swallows your scream as you cum around her fingers for the fourth time that afternoon. The kiss is all teeth and tongue and warm as your cunt continues to clench around her fingers that help you ride through your orgasm.

Your breathing slows and she pulls away, resting her forehead on yours as she slowly and softly pulls her hand from between your legs and licks away your release from her fingers.

Robin kisses your forehead before walking over to the sink in the breakroom and washing her hands and then wets a paper towel. She returns to you and kneels, running the wet towel up your leg to clean up the cum that made its way down from your first three orgasms and then softly runs it up and down your abused pussy. You whine and wobble on your legs earning a sweet kiss to each thigh before Robin stands up and pressed a chaste kiss to your red and bitten lips.

“I think that’s a record,” she smiles at you. “Four in my 30 minute lunch break.”

You whine, sore and overstimulated, “you didn’t even eat your lunch.”

“No I ate dessert first,” she smirks reminding you of how this started—with your back on the breakroom table and her mouth on your pussy, licking and sucking at your clit drawing out your first release of the afternoon with you biting your hand to keep the moans in—the lunch you brought her forgotten on the counter. You tried to sneak out after that first one but she caught you by the door and fucked three more orgasms out of you with her fingers. Praising you and thanking you for bringing her her lunch while her thumb ran around your clit and her fingers made you see stars.

She kisses you one more time just as the bell on the front door rings letting you know a customer has finally made an appearance.

“See you at home,” she smiles, unlocking the door and making her way out of the breakroom before you.

You take a few deep breaths and leave the breakroom a few minutes later. You pass by Steve, who shoots you a smirk that makes you blush and walk just that much faster. You forget your missing panties until you get to your car and sit down, shock shooting up your spine as your bare pussy rubs on the cold leather, and smile on the drive home thinking about what to do for Robin for dinner that’ll get you in a similar—or opposite—position as lunch.

[wishitweresummer]

My take on the Caiti/George situation and what I will be doing going forward.

(Just saying my piece as somebody who makes content about the Dream Team - so this is really for people wondering what I think and if I will be continuing to make content.)

TW - Sensitive and serious subject.

This situation just sucks so much for so many reasons. First, I don’t think it should have been brought into the public eye at all. I think it all boils down to a misunderstanding and a push of boundaries. Not assault. Not harassment. Not rape. Not grooming.

It was all brought out publically anyway so let’s try to learn from it. Our takeaways should be about support, power dynamics, safety, and awareness of boundaries. Caiti is upset because her boundaries were crossed. Her feelings are 100% valid. It’s awful to see how what George did affected her and I hope she can heal. Her friend’s should have protected her. Everyone in the room should have, obviously.

One huge issue I have here is Caiti is referring to George pushing her boundaries as Sexual Assault. This is causing reactions to go to extremes. Making a girl uncomfortable is bad and can have pretty serious social consequences. Sexually Assaulting a girl is a crime and it can put you in jail.

Fans are getting defensive and hostile because instead of George getting a chance to develop and learn as a person, he could potentially lose his platform. On my own timeline I’ve seen death threats against George and young fans. George shouldn’t have done what he did. George should know better. But, if we don’t give people room to grow and change, then people will work harder to silence their victims. George listened to how Caiti felt and apologized. The majority of things people I��ve seen found wrong with his responses have seemed nit-picky to me. Or, like it just doesn’t matter what his response is.

George should listen to the women’s voices around him and understand that he is not a regular guy. He needs to behave at a higher standard because there will be a power imbalance between him and every girl he interacts with.

If you think George should lose his platform for this, then that’s your right. I’ve seen a lot of people arguing on both sides. To be honest, it’s exhausting. When it comes down to it, I don’t think it’s any of our decisions anyway. If all of his friends stop making content with him and he never gets welcomed to another event, then it’s really out of our hands. I think that would be ridiculous, but still. Out of my hands.

For me, I’m mostly just tired and sad. I do love this community. The hostility I’ve seen in the community between fans has been awful. Horrifying, really. The death threats, victim blaming, doxxing, baiting. In discords, I’ve watched people that were friends tear into each other. I’ve watched people bait tweet so that they can attack teenagers as a group for staying in the fandom.

For my honest opinion, I think everybody messed up. George the most. George apologized and is taking accountability. And, he is definitely being punished for his actions. I think he will think twice before he tries anything close to this again. That’s what really matters here, to me.

Have whatever opinion you want, but don’t expect to change mine with hostility and threats. We are all human so none of us are going to be perfect. If you disagree with me, that’s okay. This isn’t an attack on you.

I really want everyone to stay safe. This situation has been awful and I’m sure terrible for everybody’s mental health. I know we aren’t the victims here, and I’ve seen a lot of people attacked for just saying they’re sad, but listen. It’s okay. This was sad and awful and scary. And it’s probably not over.

If you need a break, take a break. One more thing, I’ve seen a lot of people asking “Is it okay if I do this?” or “Is it okay for me to feel this?”. We are not a hive mind. We aren’t going to move as a group. Accept that it’s likely all your friends don’t feel exactly as you do. Just remember to stay respectful of their feelings, and your own.

Eventually, I will probably be getting back to my regular posting. I think we are going to see a lot of changes in the content we will see from the Dream Team though, so who really knows. I just wanted to get my own thoughts out here.

Okay, love you guys. <3

Here is a link you can use to find some charities that support girls.

[pacifymebby]

t r o u b l e/ chapter twenty six

Tommy

I was circling the countryside, tracking down country lanes in a spiral back towards Arrow House. Back home, without my little sister. Feeling defeated. Frustrated. Feeling the nauseous chill which sets in after the panic has passed. When you've burnt through all that fight or flight, when all the adrenaline you wasted has amounted to nothing... all that buzzing static, that rushing blood, all those racing thoughts for nothing because in the end they hadn't mattered either way. She wasn't here. We'd lost her.

We'd be lucky if we ever got her back.

"Jesus Christ," I growled to no one but myself through gritted teeth, "Jesus fucking Christ!" I spat eyes squeezed shut as I let my head fall down against the steering wheel. Driving blind down the road until I heard a tractor and swerved into the closest pocket, a cattle crossing with a rusty old gate.

I had that lump in my throat like I was about to cry. Hadn't done that for a long time, knew it wouldn't do me any good now anyway. Wouldn't bring her back. A useless emotion, a useless habit to get into.

I sucked in my cheek instead, bit until I drew blood and kept my eyes wide open until I felt the dry sting. The tears receding, the hurt swallowed down. The only way I knew how to handle it. Locked it away, started the car and did a U-Turn. No more slow spiral home. Accepted the truth of the matter, the dreary, bleak reality. The facts.

Sylvie had snook away from us. Been too clever, too quick... too much like her brothers. Too much perhaps like me.

She wasn't coming back by herself and she was already beyond my reach. I'd lost her.

When the phone started ringing I moved listlessly. Didn't rush to answer, much to the caller's disgruntled amusement.

"You know Tommy if it was my family yeah... if it was my little..."

"Enough Alfie," I groaned, "spare me the concern eh, I'll run my family my way yeah, you can do whatever you like with whatever I've got..."

"Well," he said, a darkness in his voice that didn't sit right with. Me didn't worry me as it should have because I'd already decided Sylvie was lost to the world. Gone for good. "Well," he said, "that's just it right, that's just it mate... what have I got Tommy... What have I..."

"I don't know Alfie what have you got eh do us both a favour would you, keep it short an sweet... I'm driving I can hardly afford to fall asleep at the..."

"She's safe Tommy," he said, his words not quite registering with me as I trailed off, as I swallowed the sprout of hope, tried to ignore the little bud about to open because this was Alfie Solomons and he'd never delivered good news to me before.

"She's what?"

"She's here mate, she's here and she's safe and..."

"Jesus Christ Alfie why the fuck didn't you just say that..." I shook, my chuckle a little breathy, disbelieving though I should have believed it. "What about Isaiah?"

"And..." he cut my smile short, "she wants to stay here with me...if that's alright with you of course mate..." the sound of his smile got under my skin, pissed me off more than I should have let it.

"What?" I frowned turning the car down a sharp winding lane, headlights on to cut through the mist. I should have been paying attention to the roads, not to Alfie. Should have been watching for lights in the fog. Should have been thinking about every possible threat. But I wasn't.

"Oh who? The lout? He's fine too, fuckin annoyin cunt but... I ain't harmed the lad yet..."

"Alfie... what the fuck did you just say to me..."

"She came here Tommy, I didn't even have to go lookin for her yeah... she brought herself all the way here and you know what she did mate? You know what she did... seriously mate I don't know what the fuck you're doin up there, how you're raisin the kids but fuck me... you've gotta change your fuckin ways cause this one's fucked in the head," he said, this amusement mixed up with his warning. I could picture him grinning, could picture him leant back in his chair, one leg crossed over the other, smoking a cigarette and grinning down the line, waving one hand about his head, the other holding his phone to his ear.

"Look mate if she's broken somethin I'll pay you back whatever I don't care..." I started, trying to focus on driving, trying to control the hope in my chest, the warmth which had returned to me when he'd said she was safe. Just because she was safe didn't mean she was going to stay safe. Not when it was Alfie who had her.

"Broken somethin? Mate she's the fackin broken one..." he said, "seriously..." he said, I could picture his eyes popping, could hear the shock in his voice and it made me smirk, "she's a fuckin sociopath Tommy..." he said.

"So melodramatic Alfie..." I mused, "go on then enlighten us, what's she done?" I asked with a sigh knowing that this would be a long story either way I played it. That I just had to humour him because for as long as he had Fen with him I was in his pocket.

"She fuckin came in here right, fuckin barged in here yeah, poor Ollie couldn't hold her back mate, poor boys traumatised Tommy, he'll need fuckin therapy yeah!"

"She's a teenage girl Alfie..."

"She's a little piece of hell is what she is Tommy, she's got a little piece of hell in her eyes... I looked into em yeah, I looked right into em an you know who I fuckin saw?"

"Go on..." I sighed, I already knew the answer. I needed a cigarette so I pulled up at the side of the road. Shouldn't have done.

"I saw you Tommy..."

I had to laugh then, had to let out that short disbelieving breath, had to smile and shake my head because if I didn't he'd know I believed him. He'd know I saw it too. He'd know that that was what really scared me.

Not the thought of little fen out on her own, lost and helpless, but the thought of Sylvia just cunning enough to weasel herself into a place she couldn't escape. And perhaps she'd already done that.

"Then why do you wanna keep her Alfie?" I asked forcing myself to relax, concentrating on my shoulders, rolling them once, twice. Focussing on my temples, forcing myself to feel them relax too as I exhaled slowly.

"Because..." he said, "and you'd know this right if you'd let me finish my fuckin story yeah Tommy, patience remember is a virtue... you still believe in them yeah? Virtues?"

"Finish your story Alfie, I'm not stopping you..." I said watching the rain which thrummed against the windshield, flicked my wipers on. Watched the leaking grey sky, the thunder would roll in from the hills soon. I needed to be home before the roads flooded.

"She fuckin barged into my office yeah and she danced for me..." he sounded astounded. I didn't feel half as surprised as I should have done.

"She danced?"

"Yeah!" He cried, "she stood on my rug right and she did a little dance... swan lake I think mate... it was fuckin holy mate... bought a tear to this cold man's dead fuckin eyes..."

"Right," I nodded thinking of my little sister, trying to picture the scene. Her e'n pointe in the middle of Alfie's old persian rug. A rug I'd stood on many times, a rug I'd once thought I was going to die on. I tried to imagine her dancing, the graceful, fae like way I'd been watching her dance since she were only a little girl. "So she danced for you..." I said turning onto a wider road, one which wasn't just a dirt track, "and now you want to keep her?"

"Nah," he frowned, "nah.. you my old friend are deliberately misunderstanding me ain't you... trying to make me sound like a fuckin nonce yeah? She told me she wants to stay in London... under my protection..." I could tell he was grinning , revelling in his own amusement at my expense. I shouldn't have let it get to me but it was, getting to me that is. "And she wants you to let her twin sister come to stay too..."

"Not happening." I said it a little too quickly, probably shouldn't have said anything at all because Alfie was most certainly trying to press my buttons but the words had left my lips before I'd had the chance to think.

"No? Well that is a shame mate cause I've already got one haven't I... she's gonna be awful lonely on her own ain't she... be a shame to keep em apart, twins ain't 'sposed to be split up for too long... woulda thought your lot woulda known that mate... really..."

I cut the engine, lit up a cigarette. Cut the headlights too so that my car was swallowed up for a minute or two by the gloom. For a second I could pretend that I too had been swallowed whole. That none of it mattered anymore. That it was all already over. That I could float about in it, the darkness, the gloom, the vapour that makes up the rain cloud when it's still just a cloud.

"Forget it Alfie, Sonya's stayin right here... and I'm coming to get Sylvie, I'll drive down today, pick her up ton..."

"Hold your horses gypsy boy," chuckled Alfie infuriating me then. A spark of rage shooting through me as I sparked my lighter and watched the flame lick at the tip of my cigarette once more.

"My little sister ain't a piece in your chess set Alfie..." I warned him but he only smirked again, all melodramatic reassurances.

"I know I know mate," he said, "listen Tommy... when did you get so distrusting eh? When did you get so suspicious of everyone... even your oldest pals? Now you tell me yeah... you tell me what reason I'd have for wanting to hurt your little Sylvia? Now think about it good and proper for a minute yeah cause I want a good fuckin answer... cause hurtin little girls mate, there ain't no good reason for that as far as I'm concerned...it's fuckin disgustin right...now really I thought you and me were on the same page there Tommy..."

"Yeah alright Alfie.." I said raising my hand to silence him, waving away the smoke from my cigarette before gripping the steering wheel too tightly seconds later when I realised he was reeling me in again, that I was falling for his oldest trick. "I agree with you alright, that's why I'm gonna come pick my sister up tonight yeah, bring her home... don't want anyone gettin hurt eh?"

"Tommy, Tommy, you ain't listening to me mate, you ain't usin them ears are yours Tommy, listen to me right cause I've told you once and I don't wanna keep goin round in circles with you yeah.. I phoned you right... to let you know that your little sister yeah, little Sylvia is a fucking sociopath... I just thought I'd remind you of that yeah... cause you don't seem to realise just how fuckin insane she is right.."

"So she's insane," I shrugged, doing my best to deaden my tone, let him know I wasn't bothered. Let him know that I didn't believe a word he was saying to me. "People say that about you too don't they..."

"Yeah..." he said leaning on the word, still grinning down the line, "yeah they do and insane right, recognises insane... an here I thought you already knew that Tom my old mate... I always thought that was why we were such good pals..."

"Fine," I said with a small smirk, "I'll bring me straight jacket.."

"Tommy mate.." he said again, that apologetic tone he kept putting on driving me insane, "look am sorry mate but she don't wanna go home... she wants to stay here..." he sounded like he was going to carry on, sounded like he had something else to tell me, some bargain to make. But I wasn't in the mood for cutting deals. Now my mind was racing, the cogs turning, the plans falling into place. I would go back to the house, I'd tell Arthur and John what was going on. Then I'd drive to collect Sylvia myself, I'd being her home and I'd throttle Isaiah for being so fucking irresponsible and stupid.

"She just don't wanna go home..."

"Yeah well you tell her from me right, you tell her you can't always get what you want," I said finally, determined that that would be the last we spoke on the matter, "it isn't up for debate Alfie I want her home..."

It was only when I hung up the phone and looked out into the murky afternoon that I sensed it. Something wrong.

Something out there in the fog, a shadow... someone watching me and my cigarette. Someone I could only hope hadn't been able to see me clearly through the mist.

There was a car stopped a little way behind me, their lights off but their shadow still palpable from certain angles when the light hit through the vapour.

When I started the car I felt the low warm rumble of it coming back to life vibrate through my body. I sat listening carefully to the heater turning on, I watched the condensation on the windows clear slowly.

And when I pulled away I kept my eyes on the rearview mirror, watching for movement in the mist behind me. Swallowing a lump in my throat when I saw it, a car following me from a short distance down the road. Stalking me silently as I drove towards the house.

So I couldn't go home and I couldn't turn and head for London as I'd just informed Alfie I would. Instead I had to lead them somewhere else. Lure them out of the winding country lanes, to somewhere I knew better than them.

"Arthur..." I spoke into a burner, "tell John to secure the house then meet me at the Millers Rest, come strapped..." I said carefully, quietly, listening to my brother's breathing on the other end of the line, waiting to hear his grunt of agreement, waiting for the question I didn't want to answer.

"You found her?" He asked, the edge of hope in his voice difficult to swallow when I knew I was about to crush it.

"This ain't about that... Arthur I need you focussed yeah... forget her, focus on this..."

I knew my words would cut him, that they'd leave a nauseous taste on the back of his tongue, green and guilty. But in our family someone had to be heartless, someone had to have clarity, someone had to be able to see the bigger picture always and that was me. I had to be this way because neither John nor Arthur would ever be capable of it.

So even if the words sounded cold, even if they sounded like they came from that part of me I loathed, I had to say them. Had to get him to focus on the task in hand, that is to say living through the next hour.

The Millers Rest was an inn abandoned way out in the middle of the peaks. We'd taken over it many years ago because it was tucked away in the valley between two hills, on the edge of a woodland, far from the city but also miles from any of the little villages and hamlets nestled between the peaks. It was the perfect place to disappear, the perfect place to make other people disappear too. So I drove slowly, uncertain when exactly I'd collected my hanger on, refusing to change my behaviour. Pretending I was still searching the winding lanes for Sylvia.

Sylvia who was fucking miles away, doing fuck knows what because she was stubborn and childish, because she was scorned and pissed off with me. Endangering her life because I'd told her no.

As I drove I watched the shadow moving through the rain carefully, noted how it stopped and started every now and then, trying to keep a safe distance. Trying to remain shrouded completely.

They probably thought it would be easier to stay hidden because I wouldn't be looking for them. Because I wouldn't be paying attention to them. Now I had to hope they weren't paying too much attention to anything but me. Had to hope they wouldn't notice that I was no longer driving them to Arrow House.

If they followed me to the Millers they'd follow me to their death.

I sped up at the last minute, racing around the final corner and up the straight line of road which ran past the inn. Swerving the car to a sudden stop in the middle of the road I abandoned it and ran to join my brother where he would be waiting. In the line of trees at the edge of the woodlands. Strapped and waiting for me or for the enemy, whoever turned up first.

"The fucks all this about Tommy, am fuckin soaked waitin here for..." started Arthur as I snatched a loaded assault rifle from him. He didn't question that, just picked up the other which rested at his feet. Prepared himself.

"I've been followed," I panted a little out of breath from my sudden sprint to the trees, in truth i had hardly noticed the rain when I'd run across the grass, "fuckin don't know who it is but theyve followed me all the way fuckin here through the rain and they'll be here any fuckin second now so be ready..."

"How do we know they're Italians?" He frowned, setting his weapon up and standing back against the tree trunk. The rain had come down hard on him and his red hair was dark and hanging limp and dripping in his face.

"We fuckin don't but whoever they are... they ain't our fuckin friends..."

"Nah," he shook his head, his eyes narrowing. I offered him a tight smile, a nod of approval because it reassured me to see his cogs start turning, the gears shifting. In a few moments time he wouldn't be Arthur Shelby anymore, something else would take over and he would keep us safe, that feverish streak of rage inside him, foaming at the bit, only ever held back by the thinnest of threads.

"Fuckin ain't our friends," I said again my own eyes darkening as I saw a black rangerover roll to a halt. As I saw two men jump down from either side of the car. I raised my hands to hush my brother but I didn't need to. He was watching them, silent, his cheeks flushing with the first shades of anger.

"Fuckin... how dare they come here threatenin my fuckin family..." he growled, his voice low but not low enough. The men weren't looking at the trees however, weren't listening for men hiding in the trees.

"Hush Arthur... Wait a moment eh," I said with a small smirk, watching as the two men knocked on the Inn door. They waited and, just out of sight, we waited.

"Fuckin c'mon lets just kill em," grumbled Arthur growing all the more impatient.

"Nah," I whispered, "not yet eh, wanna see what they do..."

And what they did surprised me.

"What the..." I mouthed, refusing to blink as I observed with wide eyes the strangest thing I'd ever seen two men do. They waited for a moment and then, when no one answered, they returned to the car and took out two shovels.

"Arthur... give me you phone..." I held my hand out waiting to feel the weight of it in my grasp. I closed my fingers around it and then held it up, using the camera to zoom in and record them as they dug their shovels into the ground and began digging.

"The fuck are we waiting for Tommy?" Grumbled Arthur, hushed by the hand I waved absently in his direction. "You wanna let them dig their own graves?" He smirked shaking his head, "you sick fuck."

"Shhh!" I hissed growing impatient, watching them dig, "I said wait Arthur, so just... wait." I held my fingers to my lips, holding the camera steady, trying to get a view on their faces. But they were wearing hoods under their jackets and they had scarves wrapped around their faces so all I could see was a blur of skin and wool shadow.

"Don't think that's a grave.." I said when they dropped their shovels two hours later, they stood hands on their backs, panting. One of them lit up a cigarette as the other crouched at the side of the hole.

For another minute or so they just stood, one out of breath, complaining to the other in Italian, the other on the floor swearing back.

"Wop bastards," murmured Arthur, "c'mon Tommy what are we waitin for?"

"You hear me Arthur it ain't a fuckin grave..." I said raising my finger to quiet him, "so we're waiting..."

"Fuck sake Tommy I don't like this..."

"Don't be so impatient brother," I smirked watching the men through the camera on Arthur's phone. "Look.." I said doing my best to focus the camera on the edge of the hole, "dumped somet I reckon..."

"So fuckin what!" Snapped Arthur, "cunts were following you fuckin home... we should just fuckin..."

"Shh!" I hissed when one of the Italians turned their head sharply, their eyes scanning their surroundings. They'd heard him.

Behind me Arthur hushed and raised his gun.

I held my hand out to steady him, to calm him down.

"Hold fire..." I murmured. Waited...

For a second all was still. The Italians, Arthur and I, the car they'd left idling. The rest of the world carried on, the trees moved under the best of relentless rain. The mud shifted, gathered and collapsed washed down the side of the hill in dirty rivulets.

Not us though.

It was as if we were disconnected. A switch flicked.

I weighed up our options... considered their unusual behaviour, the mystery I wanted to unpick. Considered how badly I wanted those answers. And then I nodded.

"Alright," I said lowering my hand, raising my own gun in time with Arthur as we fired in unison.

The first shots flew and wounded the man who had been standing, the one who had heard us. We didn't give them a chance to understand, a chance to defend themselves. Just approached slowly, a malevolent shadow emerging from the undergrowth, spraying bullets across the field, shattering the windows of their idling rangerover. Shattering the windows of the inn.

Firing until we were certain that both men on the floor were no longer men but corpses. Lifeless sacks of blood and bone and muscle tissue.

I lowered my weapon, pointing my barrel down at the paling features of the dead man at my feet. Looking down at him I felt nothing but the usual hollow, a mild disgust at the speed the soul leaves a body. How fleeting the moment at which we become a shell.

I kicked at his shoulder and watched the blood which stained his shirt wash away in the rain, replaced moments later by a constant blossom of red. I emptied his pockets, found ID, keys, cash and a burner phone that was probably already useless.

The lad wasn't even a Sabini, wasn't a Changretta, just some poor lad from the bottom rungs, a Conti trying to make a name for himself.

"Alright," I said plainly, turning away from the dead Italian to face my brother who was still looking down at the other.

"Alright," nodded Arthur his rain soaked hair falling across his face despite his repeated efforts to push it back. The rain was cold, ran in thick streams off our coats.

"Get your shovel Arthur," I said with an ironic half smile, shrugging my long black coat from my shoulders, abandoning it on the front door step.

Arthur didn't say a word, didn't complain though digging graves in this weather was sickening work. Just grunted and accepted his task, taking it just as I was. As penance for the evil deed we had just committed.

For hours in the rain the only sound either of us made was to grunt with exhaustion, a growl of frustration every time we lunged into the earth, hitting the shovel against the sludge, heaping it like shit behind us. It was relentless, the rain coming down so heavy that any progress we made felt trivial when every wrong step too close to the ledge of the hole saw the wall shift and then slide in on itself, filling the grave with mud before we could dig deep enough.

"Fuck this Tommy we're gonna be here all fuckin night!"

"If we're here all fuckin night we're here all fuckin night!" I growled bringing my foot down on the shovel and pushing with all my weight to try and shift as much soil as I could. "Fuck your comfort brother, we've killed these men so we'll fuckin bury em..."

And we did, but it took all night.

The sunset and we hardly noticed, the moon rose and all we felt was the chill, the burn in our muscles enhanced by the stinging of our chapped skin.

By the time we returned to Arrow House the following morning we were both pale and sheer as ice, bodies sore and stiff from a night of digging, of hauling dead men through the mud.

Our clothes were heavy from the rain, not a hair between us spared. We were soaked through, shivering with bloodshot eyes. Two stray dogs who had dragged themselves to the only safe place they knew.

The door closed behind us with a thud. The house hadn't been quiet but when the echo ricocheted down the hall the house fell silent.

Then there were footsteps. So light I'd have missed them had I not been suffering such a manic rush of adrenaline.

"Tommy!" Cried Sonya, her voice frail as she threw herself at me, her arms wrapping around me so tight that for a moment - once I'd adjusted to the initial shock of proximity - I struggled to catch my breath.

I took a step back, trying to balance myself where she'd knocked my center of gravity, my arms closing around her petit frame slowly, hesitant at first but firmer when she nuzzled into my chest and I heard the first sob.

"Alright Fen, it's alright..." I sighed, voice as gentle as I could manage, trying to hide the grazed way my throat felt when I spoke.

"Oh..." smirked Ada from halfway down the stairs, she was wrapped in a silk dressing gown, a pair of thick woolen socks on her feet miring the glamour of caramel she'd draped herself in, "look what the cat dragged in..." she narrowed her eyes but she couldn't hide the relief she felt so I knew she was glad to see us home. Not that it mattered much because I couldn't stay.

Still, I held onto Sonya and let her cry into my soaked shirt, stroked my fingers slowly through her long hair which she'd let fall down for once, blond locks uncombed, falling down around her waist. When she pulled away her eyes were wild with love and she couldn't have known it but had it not have been for the dye in her hair she'd have looked just like our mother.

She watched me with those wild wide eyes, tears still gathered in her lashes. Concentrating, studying me and then Arthur for injuries, for blood.

But the rain had washed most of the blood from our hands and the stains on our shirts were pinkish and faint.

"You two took your time, where were you?" Asked Ada observing us from a distance. Like she knew not to get too close. Like she knew what we'd been doing and didn't want tainted by the curse we carried.

And when I thought of that I flinched, dropped my hands from Sonya's shoulders and took a step back.

"Fuckin weathers fuckin awful," grunted Arthur, guilt radiating from the two of us so that even innocent Sonya bristled.

She looked up at me with dark, sorry eyes, eyes which asked me to shake my head, asked me to tell her that it really was just the weather that had left us like this. Washed up and late home with nothing to show for it.

So I shook my head.

"Sylvies in London," I said, "she's safe for now, Alfie's given me his word that he will look after her until I am able to bring her home..."

Sonya gasped, held her hand over her mouth to mute the choked sob of relief. I couldn't help the tug of a tender smile on my lips then, a momentary warmth which touched my heart. At least there was one Shelby who still knew how to feel.

"Alfie Solomons is 'looking after' her?" Ada scoffed, "Are you kidding Tommy? Alfie fuckin Solomons! He tried to kill Arthur!" She was looking at me not just with disbelief but disgust too, her arms folded, her teeth catching the light when her jaw hung slack and stunned.

"He is..." I said nodding, "and he did once try to..."

"twice," coughed Arthur, "it was twice actually Tommy remember..."

"he has tried, on multiple occasions... in the past, to kill our brother Arthur but... Alfie's an old fashioned man and he has a policy doesn't he..."

"A policy?" Ada scoffed, "a fuckin policy Tommy..."

"He has a policy of not hurting women and children, so our Fen will be safe with him and Isaiah until I go to London... I'm leaving today, she won't be waiting long..."

"For god sake Tommy look at you," derided Polly, her slinking figure materialising in the kitchen doorframe, a lit cigarette between her fingers which she looked down to focus on me, "you're not going anywhere in that state and you know it..."

"Can't wait I'm afraid Pol..." I started only to be silenced by my sister.

"Pols right Tommy look at you both for fuck sake, you're soaked to the bone... you look like you haven't slept all night... you can't go to London in this state, it's not safe.."

"Ada's right Tommy, you'll need your wits about you down south... won't be a youngen in London won't be looking for a shot at a peaky blinder to earn a bit of clout with the Italians..." Said Esme, her feet padding down the stairs as she carried the baby in her arms. She too looked tired, she too wore her concern on her sleeve.

"Enough mithering eh," I said with a lighter smile, trying to shrug their concerns off, turning to Arthur with a grin so that he would play along. "We're fine aren't we Arth, ain't made of sugar, a bit of rain never did anyone any harm..."

"That's right," agreed Arthur gruffly, pushing his sodden hair from his eyes once more. The blood under his nails caught the light, reminded me of the graves we'd left at the foot of the valley beneath the Miller's rest. Reminded me why I felt that tight burn across my shoulders, why standing up straight ached right down to my thighs.

"Nothin a hot shower and coffee won't fix..." I said, "Ada if you're worried about your big brothers I'll let you cook us breakfast if you like... how about something hearty eh?" I asked her with a teasing smile, relief washing over me when she gasped, astounded and biting back a giggle when she hit me with the baggy sleeve of her dressing gown.

"Get fucked Tommy..."

But our jokes weren't enough to quell Aunt Pols concerns, not enough to pacify her and so when Arthur and I headed for the spa to soak ourselves in warmer water, thaw our batter bodies out for an hour, she followed me, rushing to keep up with me as I tried to lose her.

"Thomas! Thomas I don't like this... this is a bad idea Thomas.."

"Pol," I sighed, "Pol following us in here is a bad idea..." I said resting my hand on her shoulder in the doorway to the health suite. My grip was light but firm and it stopped her. Left her looking up at me stubborn and shadowy as ever.

"You won't get her back if you go tonight..." she said finally, holding my gaze, threatening me with her coal black eyes.

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