#it SUCKS but i’ll be fine
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i’ve been grieving this friendship for soooo long that now i’m just over it like lol. it’s ok !
#throughout my entire life i’ve had to lose friends time after time but i felt this sort of comfort knowing she was my BEST friend forever#but like it’s been years since she hasn’t even been my friend#so if you told me a few years ago that this would happen i would’ve had a breakdown right there at that very moment#but now i’m in such a good place where i know my boundaries and i have some respect for myself that im 100% okay with this not moving#forward#do i want that? of course not#am i ok if that happens? yeah#it SUCKS but i’ll be fine#there’s no bad blood either it’s just. a natural end to a long dragged cycle of things not working#i’ve said what i needed to say and im cool with whatever happens for better or for worse#x
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meow
#OKAY IM BACK I HAVE A FEW DAYS WORTH OF PAPER DOODLES ON MY PHONE.#EVERYTHING. IS FINE NOW. YIPPEE#image id in alt text#my first id tho so apologies if it sucks i’ll get better over time-#in stars and time#isat#isat loop#digital art#artists on tumblr#everyday doodling
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OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.
#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter.#he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point.#and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!!#hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do!#the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into-#one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT.#but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb.#I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time.#and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances.#and doesn’t want to hear any excuse.#but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment.#NOW. CHAPTER 17.#UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN#Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC.#IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!!#BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’#WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM.#(NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.)#and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through.#despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up.#like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him.#that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying.#just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner.#IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD.#and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore.#he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had.#and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT.#<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but.#eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind.#I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags
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Puzzlevison screenshot redraw!! On paper!! With water color!! Wahoo!!
I don’t have much credible experience with coloring traditional art—usually just doodling or sketching in my spare time for fun. But I’ve wanted to try expanding the different mediums I use and letting myself learn from them. It’s a nice change of pace and allows me to take a step back from responsibilities. And I’ve needed an excuse to keep working in this sketchbook so here we are!! I think in the end of this I might’ve treated the watercolors too similar to acrylic paints lol. Ah oh well all part of the ✨learning experience ✨
Also here have some goofy work behind-the-scenes progress photos
#uhm okay so this isn’t technically for the whole ‘Puzzle’s First Model Appearance/Debut’ thing but—#now I just kinda feel bad for not doing anything to join in on the celebration#THE GUILT AND FOMO IS GETTING TO ME BIG TIME NOOOO#so guess we can last minute act like this is also for that?? yay??? :’)#man I’m such a looser I suck /hj#where did I go wrong in life to be mentally aware it’s my comfort characters debut day but also not do a damn thing about it#y-yeah it’s fine I’m so fine don’t worry about it I’ll just lie awake in bed contemplating#maybe reenact that scene where he’s sobbing in the corner of the pizzeria#also YES I know I got lazy with the SMG4 cast not putting skin color or leveling out the white <<#and also giving up on the Puzzle pattern halfway through#and there’s probably a likelihood no one even noticed until I exposed myself#BUT YOU WILL NOTICE MY FLAWS BECAUSE THEY HAUNT ME GAZE UPON MY DEMONS /J#generally I think I did okay tho :3#hplonesome art#Puzzlevison redraw#Puzzlevison screenshot redraw#Puzzlevison smg4#smg4 Puzzlevison
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comparing elia martell to princess diana is kinda insane
cause the real princess diana of westeros was rhaegar
#lmao i’m sorry but i just saw the most cray cray post and i wanted to laugh#what did elia do for the common people? did they even like her? she’s loved in dorne but in the rest of westeros? she barely mentioned#the fact that diana created this approachable image & had so many charities under her belt is why she was so loved#rhaegar singing to the commoners == dany helping her sick subjects == diana shaking hands with people with aids#tbh charles and diana’s story should actually once again remind people that arranged marriages fucking suck for both individuals involved#i do not like charles at all but it’s not his fault that he didn’t love diana 🤷♀️#i’m just so suprised by the absurdity of trying to compare charles and camilla to rhaegar and lyanna#asoiaf fandom critical#anti elia stans#rhaegar targaryen#rip prince rhaegar the silver prince who’s still so beloved by the common folk 💔#im here to fight for rhaegar’s honor#i’ll call him the peoples prince 😂#asoiaf#to be serious for a sec: i hate these surface level takes. it completely strips the text of any nuance and context#this nuance and context is so important bc it is key to understanding the themes and underlying messages of the text#but instead people wanna compare aesthetics. which is fine and fun. but theres nothing in the text that even hints-#-that any of these characters can be directly paralleled to these modern royals.#my silver prince 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
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I hate the question “do you prefer being slightly too hot or slightly too cold” because not a single person in the world ever answers the question that was asked. Everybody invents a different question which is “which is easier to solve, being too hot or too cold” and they answer that. And then I’m always the one single loser who answers the question straight (I think the feeling of being too cold is more uncomfortable than the feeling of being too hot) and people end up arguing with me about it. Like yes I get it I get you want to logic me to death by arguing that being cold is better because I can put an extra shirt on yes you are soooooooo clever but that is off topic and it is not the thing we are fucking discussing right now.
#pet peeves#actually autistic#if I try to rule-lawyer literally any other get to know you questions I’m the one who doesnt know how to have fun#but THIS one is the one I’m not supposed to answer directly or I’ll get mocked#like yes fine you alllllllll think being cold is more convenient#and you ALL use that stupid tired joke about how I can put a shirt on if im too cold but there’s a limit#to how many shirts I can remove if im too hot#yeah yeah you think you’re so smart and funny#but we are NOT talking about solutions we are talking about SENSORY PREFERENCES#and I maintain that being too cold sucks ass#thank you for listening to my ted talk
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every day without fail I pace and talk to myself like I’m fucking gollum thinking about how much the Isabella arc could’ve been a amazing arc where Edward goes through a scenario deeply similar to what he did to Kristen if given the right buildup (aka making him slowly get to the mental state where he would date a girl who looks exactly like his first girlfriend no questions asked)
it’s not just the fact Oswald killed Edward’s lover to get to him just what Ed did to Kristen. It’s also the power dymantic, how this was the first person they truly felt like cared for them deeply, the exception. It’s about how they both have power above that emotional investment (Edward being psychically stronger than Kristen, Oswald having financial power over Edward since he is his boss and Edward also lives under him). It is about how they both decided to keep a part of them after the fallout whether it be Edward with Kristen’s glasses or Oswald with Edward’s frozen body. A perverse trophy. IT IS ABOUT HOW BOTH FALLOUTS WERE TAKEN AS A LESSON ABOUT LOVE TO JUSTIFY WHAT THEY DID.
I’m so mad that they fumbled this arc on both sides. I am in deep unspeakable agony as I type this. Honestly their first mistake was writing Isabella to be someone who matched Edward’s freak since they quite literally had that with Oswald. But whatever I don’t care for this mid show
#rambles#edward nygma#gotham#nygmobblepot#gotham 2014#gotham fox#Whatever idgaf#I know I said this before but idc I’ll say it again. It should’ve been framed like that I’m so mad#I know there is some intentional shit in this but I don’t feel like it fully was#If it were then the writers would realize how sketchy Isabella is. She works better as an abuser I’m sorry. I don’t like it#Gotham saying they looked into ocd for Edward character wise and then making Isabella do unconsenual exposure therapy one week in and he’s#just fine. His worry is fixed. Wow great ocd rep Gotham wow ur so good at writing mental illness#I know this isn’t related to my post really but it just sucks. I struggle daily with intrusive thoughts and his fear of killing her felt#similar to ocd obsessions even though he is a real threat to her. It sucks seeing suck a reckless action to try to quell that fear be#celebrated by the narrative. Dawg this wouldn’t fucking make him feel better he’s only known her for one week my guy is going to go kms#whatever whatever I don’t give a fuck. Why would I care about gothams constant ableism I know they do it
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my job is giving me a $40 bonus after telling me i was the top seller for our first quarter with a total of $38k+ in sales. i need to quit so bad ‼️‼️‼️
#i complain literally 24/7 & get pissed at my manager every shift#& then i’ll be like but i actually like working here tho!!#FALSE. i don’t think i like it here anymore#sucks bc like. the job would literally be fine EXCEPT it’s a retail job where we don’t make commission#& the managers act like we make commission. so#would be a fun place to work if they weren’t so obsessed w numbers 👹👹👹 also if they paid more
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Daylight saving another tool used by the capitalists to keep us disoriented and confused
#you guys I think I might die today#I have a 5 hour job interview (they’re just that long now)#I think I’ll be fine because im overqualified what sucks is that im not. excited about this job in the least#I just need to leave my current team I hate it and I think they’re about to fire a bunch of people#and they will be fucked without me because they heaped a lot of work on me and the. just assumed I’d take it lol#and it’s the same fuck ass corporation just a different team 🔫I wish I could leave the corp but I’ve gotten nothing but rejections from out#anyway so after that I have to sit and stew in the anxiety of elections#I already voted absentee I am too scared to go to the polls#but I’ve been so anxious about the election#I keep thinking about my kid and feeling guilty#like what will her future look like if he wins#what will we do#idk so basically all this is combining to kill me via heart attack or something lol!!! maybe this will be my last post and I’ll just#drop dead at some point haha!!#I have to go look at a picture of Thanatos immediately to calm down#god just let me get thru this week I’ll pray whatever
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They should invent college courses where you don’t have to do homework you can just read stuff and show up to class and chillax the rest of the time
#I’ve had like no free time this entire week it’s sucked so much. my assignmence#astro speaks#don’t worry though I’ll be fine I’m just stressed#my adhd makes it really difficult for me to do homework because I procrastinate until the last minute and end up with no time for myself#and that super sucks!!! especially when I know people are judging me because they see me doing nothing all day and assume I’m just lazy
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god i am just very sad. this is not what i wanted for buck and i legitimately love tommy as a character and its just very sad that a lot of fandom is going to be cruel about it and use this as some kind of gotcha to be mean again over fictional characters.
and listen, if this is to lead to buddie canon i’ll be happy about it because i love them too. it’s not about being sad or angry i didn’t win. it’s just. not really a story i enjoyed. i’m not thrilled with the abby thing. i’m not convinced by the break up. i’m sad that buck got his heartbroken.
again.
and i’ll be sad if we don’t see tommy again. and ill still write fic about him. i’ll still write fic about them. i have ideas and an end to a canon relationship doesn’t spell the end of them in fanon. the same way if buddie is never canon ill still love them.
anyway i’m really sad and tired and i don’t know if id be as sad about this as i am if this week hadn’t already been such a fucking drain on my mental health. i’ve only had them for 6 months. but god. it’s like. just god.
also just laughing that eddie made a declaration of being straight in the ep where bucktommy broke up and now im like tim literally said yall are annoying no one gets to win im putting all the barbies back on the shelf until later.
okay now i’m leaving. i love you my friends. i hope everyone out there is doing okay.
#this week was terrible for the world#and now it was terrible for my show and my experience with it too#and maybe you’re reading this and you’re throwing a party right now#maybe you’re chanting bt bones and bragging about how right you were#and mocking and taunting#and that’s fine. it’s mean and it sucks and i’ll be sad if i see it on my dash but if that’s where this was always gonna lead well#911 spoilers
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now picture this. What if there was a girl. And what if she sucked so bad
#She’s so sucks. I’m so enamored with her#I’ve done nothing but draw 🐚 for weeks#Recently in the rp she got rocks thrown at her and almost concussed that was awesome#I HAVE to be normal though. The tragedy writer in me who wants my characters to suffer is gnawing on her so hard#but I MUST be normal. I may want to paper shred her but this may not be the consensus and that’s fine.#I’m normal. I’ll be normal <- said while shaking like a dog#clamtalk#ok that was my 2am thought for the day. Bye
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All charms successfully arrived this time
Im way too tired to prepare them atm but will be doing at the con tmrrw
its 11 and half pm I just came back an hour ago or something
#shining is super tired#really#but at least they seem to be just fine#still…this process was awful I’ll stick to custom aliexpress listings or vograce in general#cuz there is a clear difference between both. with not just only with the quality#but with work ethics as well#may they suck my non existent dick really#they took away my sanity so I took theirs as well
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I don’t think randomly dming strangers asking them to commission you is a good idea…
#it’s at least not at all practical because you’re putting people on the spot#and you’re already asking for their money#someone just did that to me like#it’s fine ppl are trying to get paid whatver#but when you do this what do you expect to happen… that the other person will just say ‘sure I’ll buy from you’ out of nowhere???#like just make a post and tag it/ask ppl if they could share it instead#not ‘commission me ^^?’ like it’s a little… lol#it’s nice to be bold and confident though that’s good and there’s nothing wrong with that#I know that it is hard for artists to advertise their work especially if they aren’t popular online#and you have to bank on people actually sharing your shit in the first place#it sucks so bad#deviantart used to be so good when it came to looking for commission work#I haven’t tried to use the forums in years but it still looks to be thriving#outside of the AI shit#in the forums on DA you could advertise your work to potential clients looking for artists to draw their ocs and stuff#they’ll usually send you a note if interested#rambling
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Okay maybe it’s my frontal lobe developing on speed run rn but a lot of English speaking subbed anime fans are saying some ableist ass shit when talking about how much they hate dubbed anime
#cuz every time I see a dub clip on insta many of the first comments I see are about how it sucks and Japanese is better#and this usually gets followed by ‘you need to go back to kindergarten to learn how to read’ like excuse me????#many of us can read just fine but watching subbed anime can be difficult#so just fuck the blind weebs huh? fuck the blind weebs? fuck the weebs with bad vision. fuck the dyslexic weebs#and just fuck the weebs who can’t even fucking see the subtitles because so much anime that’s popular had a lot of white/bright colours#and half the time these subs don’t have a thick enough boarder to stop the words from getting blurred#and that’s just the people with vision issues and dyslexia. some people just like to watch things in a language they understand#some people got attention issues and will watch anime while doing something else at the same time#sometimes I’ll even see some drop the r slur like damn bro#like fuck off and let my blind ass enjoy anime in peace cuz dub fans never act like this#we used to be a proper society that used yellow subtitles and now we have these fuck ass white ones#like how do you expect me to watch my happy marriage or mha subbed when I can’t even see the subs that pop up in h the dub????#cuz after an episode or two of subs my eyes and head start to hurt but this only happens with the white subs#give me yellow coloured subs and I can see so easily and have a swell time watching sub#cuz rn I’m in the middle of watching demon prince enma on tubi and I’m having a swell time having such visible subtitles#and honestly they should bring yellow subs back or add that sexy semi transparent grey box to put the subs in#cuz I don’t only have a hard time seeing subs for anime. I have a hard time with kdramas too#so I barely watch the popular ones that people recommend which are mostly in a current timeline#I can only see subs in these dramas when it’s for a historic drama and that’s cuz they’re very colourful compared to ones set in workplace
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Guys I’m finna have that Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz bday party!!! 😍🔥🔥🔥
#no but small vent ig the one thing I asked my parents for I ended up having to pay for#and they still counted it as my present from them#also they bought cake mix for me but I gotta make it myself and now I’m staring at a wall feeling strangely sad#but I’m fine!!#seriously I am#not just saying that to seem edgy it sucks but I’ll live
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