#issei crying everyone looking sad literally end me
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connorjesup · 2 years ago
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15 secs preview of ep 8
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arhvste · 4 years ago
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❝ my assumptions based on your fav hq character ❞
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these are all in good fun and not serious at all, please don’t get upset by them, my opinion doesn’t mean shit bby :,)
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HINATA SHOYO
-> a soft bitch with a big heart. you want others to do well and you love positive attention. you do however, get overworked by emotion and sometimes get played because of how nice you are. judge people a little harsher and don’t be shy to put a bitch back in their place, you got this
KAGEYAMA TOBIO
-> we get it youre a bad bitch but sometimes it comes across like you’re still going through your angsty teen phase. stop that, you’ll get permenant wrinkles if you keep it up. let yourself live a little freely and don’t be shy to leave your comfort zone more often. and stop getting sad over the smallest things okay?
TSUKISHIMA KEI
-> horrible taste in men and you have a degradation kink. you wanna be called a little slut in the bedroom but would cry if you were called it anywhere else. you’re very kind people but you’re constantly putting yourself down and thinking you deserve shit over nothing. be kinder to yourself
YAMAGUCHI TADASHI
-> you’re the supportive friend people go to when they need a pick-me-up however, you let yourself get walked over from time to time and it’s not fair on you. don’t be shy to kick a bitch and show them who’s can be the alpha >:) you’re a bad bitch with a big heart and you’re academically stable
NISHINOYA YŪ
-> shush, indoor voices please! it’s okay! we know you’re here you don’t need to shout! you’re probably between 4’0-5’3 and preach personality over looks which is fine because as everyone should. you’re insecure around others and feel the need to have a bigger presence to feel more confident. it’s okay though, i think you’re really hot and you should let yourself feel more comfortable with people you actually like more often.
TANAKA RYŪNOSUKE
-> loyal as fuck and dependable. you’re the bitch people know they can come to should they ever need it. you’re popular and you own every hallway you strut through. you let the feeling of dejection get to you though and worry about how you’re perceived by the people you’re surrounded by especially if there’s a potential love interest in your orbit. calm down and be yourself more, it’s their loss if they don’t fall for you anyway.
ASAHI AZUMANE
-> stop letting people talk over you! you’re that bitch so why the hell do you let people overpower you? you’re hot and you know you’re capable but you wallow up in self doubt and get upset over nothing. remind yourself that you’re hot, loved and talented more often because you need it.
SUGAWARA KOUSHI
-> you’re deceptive and it’s not always a bad thing. you’re good at switching up your personality and probably act fake to certain people which is fair enough. you can be a bit of a bitch sometimes but you’re hot and funny so you get away with it. learn to break down your barriers a little more though because when people start seeing your act they’ll become untrusting around you.
DAICHI SAWAMURA
-> OKAY daddy issues pack it up now. no i’m kidding but you’re attracted to mentally stable people with good morals. someone that will take care of you and be there for you. try to be more self reliant and independent though.
OIKAWA TOORU
-> we know you’re hot okay? you don’t need to post thrist traps on snapchat at 2AM every night we get it! you’re a little whiny and bratty but that’s a given. you’re a burnt out gifted child and you were probably in top classes or top league for a sport between ages 8-14 before you started becoming more average. that’s fine too though, just remember you have talents that lie elsewhere you just have to find them.
IWAIZUMI HAJIME
-> daddy issues 0.2. you’re bossy and demanding but fair. you judge others accordingly and have a good sense of who’s a good person and who’s not. you need to be more open with people and let more people in though. you’re protective of yourself and don’t let your walls down so easily. soften them and let others in more.
MATSUKAWA ISSEI
-> you’re just here for a good time and a good railing that’s all i have to say.
HANAMAKKI TAKEHIRO
-> you’re the bitch that has to listen to the mattsun stans last hook up. you’re hot too, go have a good time.
KUROO TETSURŌ
-> you’re extremely hot and i would absolutely make out with you right here right now. no i’m kidding. i’m not but anyways, you have mommy issues and you need to get over it. you also need to stop being so analytical of people because some people don’t like being read and you step over peoples boundaries sometimes. control yourself you feral thing.
KOZUME KENMA
-> ah yes. everyone’s favourite ‘i have issues but i don’t want to deal with them, so i’ll be a whore online instead’. that’s a half joke but seriously, you’re doing fine bby you don’t even need to worry. nobodies judging you and even if they are they’re way uglier and dumber than you. even still you should be friendlier to those around you and let your guard down a little more.
YAKU MORISUKE
-> you’re like a little dog. yappy and lively. you’re also very trustworthy and i would tell you my deepest and darkest secrets and feel safe about it. you’re strong willed and put others in their place at ease. you do however, need to be a little more selfish and put yourself first at times. selflessness is great but it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes and you need to do that more often.
LEV HAIBA
-> you’re literally so hot and i’d be begging for your attention. you’re also slightly oblivious and have probably had several people crush on you at once but you’ve ignored them all unintentionally. you need to believe in yourself more and remind yourself that you’re that bitch. you’re capable of amazing things you just need to realise it yourself a little more
BOKUTO KOUTARŌ
-> okay mx mood swings you need to stop acting out over nothing. you’re gorgeous don’t get me wrong but dropping your slice of bread on the floor isn’t the end of the world. get over smaller things quicker and become more aware of your surroundings. you have a really good set of close friends and you’re friendly to everyone around you. you’re very very loved but you need to stop getting caught up over pointless things.
AKAASHI KEIJI
-> you’ve probably been called ‘boring’ before but that’s far from the truth. you make snide comments and you’re witty. you’re one of the most mentally stable people and you don’t get upset over petty argument or fights. you do howver nit pick at situations and get too critical. stop that because you only annoy yourself more and put yourself in a bad mood.
SHINSUKE KITA
-> you scare the shit out of me but in a good way. i’d be scared to talk to you because you’re so perfect? you do tend to come across as unapproachable though but that’s not your fault. smile a little more and don’t be afraid to laugh a little louder. your laugh is so pretty anyway so don’t be shy to let yourself loose a little more
ARAN OJIRO
-> you’re the type of person people think about for weeks after seeing you at the airport you’re that hot. you’re reliable and loved by many. you’ve got a good spirit and you’re mentally balanced. you need to stop overworking yourself though and stop getting too worried for other people in their place. you’ve already got enough on your plate so stop taking other peoples problems when you already have your own.
MIYA ATSUMU
-> you’re a bitch. no i have more to say. you’re misunderstood. you come across as a shitty person but that’s just because you’re passionate and hard at communicating in a way that’s not so blunt. you’re petty and dislikable at first but after a couple of conversations, people find out there’s so much more to you. you’re funny, hot and talented. just remember to work on holding back on the blunt statements a little more.
MIYA OSAMU
-> 2nd best kinda vibes. you ARE the pretty best friend but people always ignore that because you’re kinda overshadowed by others around you. you’re like a diamond in the rough and valuable to those lucky enough to find you and get to know you. don’t put yourself down so much and show others you can be independent and unique because that’s exactly what you are
SUNA RINTARŌ
-> you’re hot and that’s it. you’re probably the type of person to not show up to classes but still manage to pass every exam with ease. you’re almost too cool to approach and people probably think you’re bitching about them when they see you on your phone. what they don’t know is that you’re really looking at pictures of cows that have been washed and blowdried. you probably own a pink princess cowboy hat and your instagram is probably everyone’s pinterest board. just stop slacking off though because you can achieve so much more.
SAKUSA KIYOOMI
-> you’re powerful and elegant. you’re very level headed and go about problems the efficient way. you hate time wasters and don’t let people make you their bitch. you probably have a slight god complex but that’s okay because when you’re as hot as you are, it’s understandable. stop being so uptight and sensitive about things though. be kinder to your mind and let go of the things not worth holding a grudge against.
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general taglist → @atsumuwoah @bloody-bella @bbymilkbread @miracleboy420 @doggonudez @tsumue @peteunderoos @tsukkisbean @saturnfarie @dear-kozume @zumisace @boosyboo9206 @totorosleaff @27kei @dai-tsukki-desu @angrylittleriri @dearestmegumi @kuxredere @warakou @iss6s @lovinnoya @sophiashortcake @wompwomphq @waitforitillwritemywayout @webworld @brokeasshoee @sunasbabie @rowley-with-ackerman @mjoork @trifliz @curiouslilbeast @ineedsomefoodpls @hp-hogwartsexpress
ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE
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tooruluv · 4 years ago
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Tooru Oikawa x F!Reader ( part 9 )
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❝ my love for him is much like winter, a skeleton for the world to see. too bad he never liked the cold. ❞
description: being the neighbor and lifelong best friend of tooru oikawa definitely had it’s perks. you were never an outcast, always had a seat at lunch, got into volleyball games for free. the problem was, however, that being in love with him outweighed those perks. you would never tell him that, though, even if it hurt like hell.
genre: best friends to lovers, angst, unrequited love, fluff if you squint hard enough
word count: 1,442
warnings/notes: i was able to be online for a bit so i wanted to release this (rather short) filler chapter for you guys! <3
tag list: @afuckingunicornn​​​​​​ @maii-flowers​​​​​​ @clandestinerays​​​​​​ @brownandchill​​​​​​ @readeretal​​​​​​ @wedojustbevibin​​​​​​ @shigarakiskitten​​​​​​ @shittykawaa​​​​​​ @saeranoppa​​​​​ @srirachibi​​​​​ @tpwkatsumu​​​​ @sempiternal-amour​​​​ @bokutos-h0e​​​​ @pinknugget​​​​ @intheawks​​​​ @tori218​ @seikamuzu​ @alexthe80swhore​
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You skipped school for a week. It was a full week of heartache; most of which included the following: watching new shows (and finishing them), being brought food by your very understanding mother, crying, taking very long baths, wallowing in self-pity (which is something you tried not to do, but ended up doing anyway), crying until you were dehydrated, and ignoring texts and calls.
A new week was starting when your mom walked into your room, interrupting your daily “stare at the ceiling in sadness”. She sat on the end of your bed by your feet when she said, “It’s time for you to return to life.”
“What if I don’t want to?”
“Sweetheart, I get it.” She placed a hand on your ankle, trying to pull your attention to her. You kept your eyes on the ceiling. “Trust me, I do. But you can’t continue to isolate yourself from life. You have a beautiful, bright future in front of you. Exams are coming up, and your friends miss you.”
You sighed. “I guess I’ll go.”
“Good! Quite frankly, I’m tired of lying to your friends. Did you know that Iwaizumi resorted to texting me every day?” Your mom stood up, sending you a smile when you followed suit. “Clean your room. I’ll drive you to school tomorrow.”
You agreed, staring at the empty water bottles next to your bed.
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Out of the hundreds of texts and missed calls, you decided to text Iwaizumi back first. He was the one who you’ve known the longest (other than the other boy you shall not name) and had helped you through your Love Problems.
you: hey. i’m ok. pls tell me that you’ll be at school tomorrow
iwa <3: fuck dude
iwa <3: you scared the shit out of me i deadass texted your fucking mom
iwa <3: i will be at school tomorrow the question is will you
you: yeah i’m coming. didn’t wanna be alone
iwa <3: you’ll never be alone darling
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Despite everything telling you not to, you got up that Monday morning for school. You cleaned your room, you showered, you got a good night’s rest. You even ate breakfast. Yet, you still felt like… well, shit.
Your mother drove you to school, sending you a small smile and wave of encouragement like it was your first day of kindergarten and you were scared to go in. Truth was, you wanted to throw up all over the front doors and go straight back into your bedroom and watch another Gordon Ramsay compilation on youtube.
You sighed and went into Hell (hell being school). You tried to act as normal as possible but it was evident that everyone in the entire school hadn’t moved on from the whole thing, eyes staring at you and inaudible whispers.
“Great.” You mumbled to yourself, whipping your locker open.
It was at that moment that Tooru Oikawa made his appearance. He was walking next to Hanamaki, talking among themselves, when Oikawa stopped dead in his tracks. Hanamaki gave him a small pat on his back before leaving (and effectively leaving the awkward situation that would inevitably happen).
He opened his locker beside you.
“Hi!” He greeted, as though it was the most normal and casual thing ever. “You’re feeling better? Your mom said that…”
You didn’t acknowledge him, closing your locker and walking to class. Maybe you’ll find Iwaizumi before class…
“Whoa. Wait!” Oikawa was walking beside you then, easily catching up to you. “Did you get any of my texts?”
You spun on your heels, finally facing him after a week of being MIA and trying to forget your love for him. He swallowed and stared back at you.
“I don’t know what you want me to do.” You shrugged. “I told you that I needed time. And by that, I mean I need time away from you specifically. I’m not going to entertain the idea of pretending that nothing happened between us because it did.”
Oikawa blinked, nodding. “Okay, okay. Yes.” He purposefully took a step back, literally giving you space. “But can I ask one thing? Just one?”
“Go ahead.”
“For how long?” He asked. “How long do you think it’ll take for you to talk to me again?”
“I don’t know. Maybe when the school stops staring at me like a wounded puppy.”
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“I’ve missed you!” Sana brought you into a hug, her boobs straight into your face. “I seriously thought that you dropped off of the face of the earth.”
You let a small smile creep onto your lips. The first smile in a while. “Sorry.”
“Don’t you dare apologize. What even happened?”
“That’s a story for later.”
She linked her arm with yours before walking with you to the library. Iwaizumi and Matsukawa sat at the usual table, heads in books like their life depended on it. It wasn’t until you were nearly next to them that they realized you were there. You hadn’t been able to see Iwaizumi all day.
“Oh my god, she’s really here.” Matsukawa exclaimed, a bit too loud for a library. 
Iwaizumi got up from his seat (also very loudly, a squeak from the chair on the floor). He immediately pulled you into a hug, picking you up and putting his head into your shoulder.
“Shittykawa told me what happened.” He mumbled into your neck. You bit the inside of your lip and wrapped your arms around his waist. “I’m not going to ask if you’re okay, but I do want you to know that I know.”
“You always know.” You mumbled back.
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Hajime Iwaizumi was walking with Issei Matsukawa when he caught Oikawa leaving your house. He knew immediately that something had happened, that something wasn’t quite right, because Oikawa had his head down. He never had his head down.
Iwaizumi turned to his boyfriend, telling him “I’ll be right back.” Matsukawa gave him a kiss on the wrist before letting him run off.
“Hey man,” Iwaizumi jogged to his best friend. Oikawa stopped, head still at his feet. “Hey. What’s up?”
“Nothing.”
“Oikawa.” Iwaizumi stood in front of him, cutting him off. “Don’t bullshit me. What’s going on? What happened?”
When Oikawa didn’t answer, Iwaizumi put his arms on his shoulders to bring his head up. Oikawa was red-faced, tears running down his cheeks. He was in pain.
“I, um.” Oikawa looked back and forth, never really meeting Iwaizumi’s eyes. “I told her that I’m in love with her. We kissed and I told her that I love her.”
“Oh?” That’s a good thing… right?
“She shut the door in my face. She said that she “thought that she was in love with me too”. And just shut the door.”
“Oh.”
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“What if we got married?” Oikawa once asked you, a giggling child in the morning sun.
You both laid in your backyard, the grass long and bugs flew along your heads. You didn’t care. You giggled back to him.
“That’s gross! You have cooties!”
“Not if we’re married I don’t!” Oikawa stuck his tongue out at you.
“We’re too young to get married! We have to at least be old… like 20 years old!”
“Ew!”
You laid like that, giggling and laughing as kids, until your mom called you in for lunch. Oikawa ran to the door (“last one there is a rotten egg!”).
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tetsurou kuroo :P: i heard that you’ve finally left the darkness and stepped back into regular life
tetsurou kuroo :P: hajime texted me sorry if that sounded like i’m stalking you.
tetsurou kuroo :P: unless you’re into that... then i’m totally stalking you...
tetsurou kuroo :P: PLS IM KIDDING anyway can i come over today. i have another hoodie for you.
you: you’re cute. i miss you too.
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You walked home alone that night. After a while of isolation, human interaction actually seemed like a chore. You just wanted to be alone, even if it was just for a few minutes as you walk.
You heard walking behind you.
“You can walk next to me.” You said, knowing exactly who it was. “I know you don’t have practice on Mondays.”
Tooru Oikawa appeared next to you in only a few seconds, jumping at the offer. The roles were reversed now.
“I don’t want to overstep boundaries.” He said.
“I know.”
“I’m sorry, again. For kissing you.”
“I know.”
He stared at you instead of the sidewalk ahead. You kept your eyes on the sky.
“I’m sorry for telling you that I love you, too.”
“Don’t be sorry about that.” You stepped onto your porch where Kuroo stood, waiting for you. “That was the one thing you did right.”
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quirklessidiot · 4 years ago
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aoba johsai’s sport’s journalist (h/c’s)
just crack+ fluff + platonic-ish relationship (gn!y/n) (w: language!) a/n: this has been bugging me for awhile now since i havent seen headcanons of this yet (if their are do send them on my ask box) and since im on a slump, i decided to write this down. this is completely fun, easy-going, and self-indulgent, really perfect for someone stuck on a slump ksks. idk if i should make some for the other schools but oh welp enjoy! happy 900 btw werkwerk uwu so weird to reach this when im not even very active.
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Now let’s be honest here, it’s no surprise that the volleyball team of aoba johsai has their own sports journalist. Like, c’mon, they’re one of the best in the prefecture.
But let’s start with the basics here, shall we? Let’s start with you, how this all goes through, and how you got into this heaping pile of mess.
Yep, you.
There you were in high hopes to get into journalism for college so what better way was it than to apply for the school paper? It would definitely look good and pretty in those college applications *chef’s kiss* you’re a second year btw idk if that matters but yeah..
Much to your surprise no one was applying for the news section which was kind of sad since you wanted a buddy there.
but-but it turns out though everyone was applying for the sports section completely understandable, next to feature, it was the most exciting thing to write because there was going to be a special section and writer for the volleyball team.
You knew that volleyball was kind of a big thing around your school?? you just didn’t expect it to amass like that much people.
The editor in chief is obviously surprised, you were the first person on that day to come in there and actually apply for something else.
and guess where that led you to?
Yep, the sport’s section, specifically the volleyball team’s personal sports journalist. Your brain goes brrt brrt because you were not a sports writer at all and you were, ironically, scared of ball games.
VOLLEYBALL WAS COMPLETELY NEW TERRITORY FOR YOU.
Your editor in chief laughs it off and says, “you’ll do fine… its like news bUT SPORTS! IT’LL DEFINITELY LOOK GOOD IN YOUR APPLICATIONS!”
You’re not sure if you should be terrified or terrified?
It doesn’t help that on the first day when you enter the gym you look terribly constipated and panicking a lot because of all the stray balls being spiked and tossed around.
It also didn’t help that you crash course the terminologies and the member’s name a night before and you were just running on iced coffee that day.
Yeah, way to make a first impression, huh?
When you approach the coach, you’re not exactly sure what to say and you were this close to chickening out until you saw one of the players come up to you and ask if you were alright and if you wanted to talk to oikawa.
you’re loading for a second there.
and the poor guy who asks you if you were alright, starts looking actually worried because you weren’t responding at all.
“OH, oH IS THAT THE CAPTAIN?”
the guy literally looks very confused?? because what kind of rock were you living under that you didn’t know Oikawa???
so you go ahead and introduce yourself and say that your name was Y/N and you were the new sports journalist for the team.
“....soooo you write?”
“...”
at this point on, you’re also confused too
and idk man, first impressions do indeed last because you ended up (unknowingly) sharing the same brain cell with Matsukawa Issei.
you both were just confused there, straight up looking like two kids who got left behind by their mom in the grocery check-out line.
anyways...
He tells you the team’s pretty chill and you should stop looking like they spiked a ball on your puppy or something.
Basically introduces you to the whole team after, 
no questions asked, just go with the flow.
You basically just click and vibe???
Not only because you crash coursed and related to whatever they said, 
you literally all shared the same brain cell together.
Kentaro was another story though, kid basically hated your guts at first, it felt like if you were to say one sentence to him that day, he’d literally spike a ball at your direction.
“we’re basically the same year tho :(” -Y/N
“lmao well do i’ve got news for you, y/n-chan.” - Oikawa and basically everyone on the team.
you gradually start to understand the coolness of the sport since you had to incorporate visiting them once or twice a week during practice.
but suddenly it becomes almost a daily routine after a month because they’re just really friendly people??
like wow, they’re all friendly giants.
You’re literally just there to write about them but they’re really patient and kind, they even invite you to practice games so that you could practice out your skills in writing since you mentioned that you’ve never written for sports yet.
they even give you some added key terms that aren’t found in books and online.
you’re def closest to iwaizumi and matsukawa.
iwaizumi because he makes really funny fish jokes about oikawa (yes you arent supposed to be laughing but man theyre funny af, oikawa would usually call you and iwa corny because the jokes aren’t even that funny) and yes its canon that whenever iwaizumi sees an oikawa fish in textbooks, he starts laughing and joking about it.
no explanation needed why you ended up being close to matsukawa.
its obvious after that first meeting ya both would be besties.
same brain cell bros go brrt brrt.
incredibly!! supportive!! I CANNOT STRESS THAT ENOUGH
like when you release a new write up about them, Oikawa would usually go, “It’s such an honor to be apart of your first steps, can you sign this?”
dramatic but hella supportive, we stan the gr8 king
“oh, wow, i thought you said you didn’t write before? how come you sound like a professional already?” - Hanamaki 
another dramatic best boi.
akira + kindaichi getting shy because they’ve never experienced this yet. So whenever you try to interview them about stats or something for a special issue, they usually end up a stuttering mess
“w-well, L/N-san...”
kentaro slowly warming up to you but still looks like he wants to spike a volleyball at your face 90% of the time but unlike before you’re used to his whole thing already.
“Move, extra.”
“You were great, by the way. That was a powerful spike!”
you may or may not be included in random ramen nights with the team
yes, oikawa buys you your own bowl of ramen
itadakimasu.
he doesn’t mind tho, he really loves how you write them. 
so its sort of a thank you for giving the team justice when you write about them.
team says you’re technically part of the team so they make you your own jersey. Now when you watch your games people ask if you’re like the manager or smthng.
“ no :’) “
When they lost against shiratorizawa and karasuno, you were bawling too like you were apart of the team.
this pretty much cheered everyone up despite the loss because your crying face was apparently very funny and memable.
oh right, your article was passed on to the town’s newspaper
it was literally like 7 am on a saturday and your notifs went zoop.
they added you to their group chat and spammed you with pictures of the articles that you wrote.
“...wOW I CAN’T BELIEVE IT?? YOU GOT FRONT PAGE FOR SPORTS???” -Oikawa
“we didn’t even win the tournament but we still get a feature?? thats so cool?? holy shit?? CONGRATS KSKSKS” -matsukawa
lmao idk matsukawa looks like a keyboard smasher tbh idk why
pretty much its normal for you to even start hanging out already outside of the court and after practice to get steam buns.
more chaotic mess and clumsy you running around.
your volleyball sports writing experience wouldn’t be complete until someone accidentally spikes a ball at the back of your head amaright?
ironically, it’s yahaba who does that to you. poor smoll bean.
“wow, you’re dumb.” -kentaro says to you
“ :’)” -you.
“y/N-SAN I SWEAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.” -yahaba 
overall, you found yourself in a safe haven with the volleyball team and yes, you also cried when the third years graduated. 
the third years have a picture with everyone on the team + you with a very red face from all the crying?? once again, you’ve proven yourself to be a meme.
continued to write for them up until graduation.
and its def obvious you kept in touch with all of them after, duh.
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musicprincess655 · 7 years ago
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Chapters: 15/19 Fandom: Haikyuu!! Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Kindaichi Yuutarou/Kunimi Akira Additional Tags: Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru - Freeform, they dont officially get together by the end so they dont go in the ship tags, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, War, Blood Series: Part 4 of Royalty AU
“Akira.”
Akira looked up from where he was carefully sharpening his sword – sharp enough to be used in battle, but not honed so fine that it would break. A little variation wouldn’t make the sword unusable, but having the perfect balance was best, and Akira had always been finicky about getting it just so.
“I need to talk to you,” Yuutarou said.
“Can’t it wait?” Akira asked. “We’re leaving soon to go after that supply chain, we can talk on the way.”
“It’s not a conversation I want to have around the others,” Yuutarou told him. Akira sighed, looking resigned as he sheathed his sword. But he followed Yuutarou all the same.
“What do you want to talk about?” Akira asked when they got far enough away from everyone else, tucked away in some quiet corner of the house.
“I want to know why you’re always running away from the feelings we have for each other,” Yuutarou said before he could lose his nerve.
“I’m not…” Akira began, but Yuutarou cut him off.
“You have feelings for me,” Yuutarou said. “I know you do. You try to hide them, but I’ve known you for a long time, and I know what those looks on your face mean. So please. I know I’m not as smart as you, but don’t insult my intelligence by denying it when I know I’m right.”
Akira sighed, and it was like all the support dropped out of him.
“What do you want me to say here?” Akira asked. He sounded so small. “Take me now? That’s not going to happen.”
“That’s not what I want,” Yuutarou said, but Akira was pressing on.
“And it’s never going to happen,” he said. “I’m never going to want that, do you understand that? I’m never going to be on board with sex.”
“And?” Yuutarou asked. He’d assumed Akira had known that he knew, because Akira knew those things. “I’ve known that for years. You’ve never been interested, and I can’t say…I never think of you like that, but it’s not like it’s eating me up inside that you’re not interested like that. I don’t need you to be.”
“You shouldn’t have to give anything up for me,” Akira protested. “You say you’re fine with it now, but how about in a few years when it doesn’t magically change because of the power of love? You’ll get bored with me, and you’ll leave, and I can’t take you leaving.”
“Is that what you think of me?” Yuutarou asked. He was legitimately offended. After this long being friends, he thought Akira would know him better than that. “You think I just want you for your body? You think I wasn’t in love with you way before I ever realized how pretty you are?”
“Don’t say that!” Akira snapped, eyes going wide.
“What?” Yuutarou shot back. “That I love you? Because I do. You know I do. And I know you love me. Why do we keep pretending that it’s anything different?”
“Because I won’t survive when you leave!” Akira shouted. To Yuutarou’s surprise, there were tears springing to his eyes. He hadn’t seen Akira cry since they were small. “Having you for a little and then losing you will be too hard! I can’t take that. Just let us be friends, so I don’t have to watch your back walking away from me. It’ll break me.”
“Aki,” Yuutarou sighed. “I’m not going anywhere. We’ve been together for so long, how could you ever think I could let you out of my life? You’re a part of me. I love you, whether you want to just be friends or something else. You never want to have sex? Fine. I don’t need it. You never want to kiss, or hold hands, or anything? Fine. I don’t need you to. Just…stop pulling away because there’s some line of too close you’re trying not to cross. All it does is hurt us both.”
Akira looked lost, more so than Yuutarou had ever seen him. He’d always been sure of himself, even when they were younger, and maybe that was part of the reason Yuutarou had fallen in love with him. Still, even the strongest had to be weak sometimes, and Yuutarou wanted to support Akira so he could be weak right now.
“How is being just friends any better than what we are now?” he asked. “We’re just friends now.”
“Best friends,” Yuutarou pointed out helpfully. “No matter what else changes, you’re always going to be my best friend. Nothing can change that.”
“You shouldn’t have to give things up for me,” Akira said. “You should have someone who can give you everything you deserve. Maybe it’s fine now, but someday, maybe you’ll change your mind, and you’ll want a family, and a partner that doesn’t shake off your touch because it’s too much.”
“I don’t want any of that if it’s not with you,” Yuutarou told him. He’d never been more sure of anything in his life. “I don’t care about the sex thing. I have a hand. And if you never want any of that couple stuff like kissing, that’s fine too. Just…lean on me if you want to. Stop holding yourself back because it’s too close for friends.”
Akira leaned into his shoulder, hiding his face. Yuutarou wrapped arms around him out of reflex, and let Akira lean his entire body weight onto him.
“I actually do kind of want to kiss you,” Akira admitted. “Yuu, I don’t…I don’t know if this is the best time to be having this conversation. We really do have to leave soon.”
“There’s never going to be a perfect time,” Yuutarou argued. “We could die on any of these raids. I’d be pretty sad if one of us died before this was resolved.”
He felt Akira take a few deep breaths against his shoulder. Breaths that were probably laced with his scent, as close as Akira was to the scent glands.
“Alright,” he said, so quietly that Yuutarou could barely hear him, even tucked up as close as they were.
“Alright?”
“I’m in love with you, not that you need me to tell you that,” Akira said. “And I actually would kind of like to kiss you right now.”
“Oh! You were serious,” Yuutarou said, pulling back so he could see Akira’s face. “Like…right now, right now?”
“We don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Akira actually looked disappointed.
“No, I definitely want to,” Yuutarou assured him. “I just didn’t expect you to agree.”
“Yuu?”
“Yeah?”
Akira was in his face, truly not much shorter than him.
“Shut up,” he said, and he kissed him.
It was terrible, if Yuutarou was being honest. Neither of them had ever been kissed before, and it showed. Still, once they figured out they had to tilt their heads, and not purse their lips, and maybe move their lips a little, it was kind of nice. A little sweet and a little clumsy but a lot nice.
Yuutarou pulled back, holding Akira’s top lip between his own with a little suction before letting it go with a faint pop. Akira’s face was flushed, and his lips looked bright red.
“We should…get going,” Akira finally broke the silence. “They’re probably waiting for us.”
“Yeah,” Yuutarou agreed breathlessly. “Yeah, we should go kill some people.”
“That is literally the least romantic thing someone has ever said after kissing someone,” Akira told him.
“You love me anyway.”
“Only the gods know why.”
Yuutarou couldn’t stop grinning as they rode out to intercept the supply chain that was heading for the refugee village. They would be taking it over entirely and using it to sneak their way in, getting everyone in there out. It was the biggest thing they’d planned yet, and the riskiest, but it also carried the biggest reward.
Akira was by his side through the fight with the soldiers guarding the chain, watching his back as Yuutarou watched his. They moved in sync, just as they always had, covering each other and making each other stronger.
They stole the uniforms the soldiers wore, pulling hoods over their heads to disguise themselves, and continuing the ride into the refugee village.
With so many of their people smuggled in – over thirty, and all trained ruthlessly by Irihata – the guards in the village didn’t stand a chance. By the time the moon was rising, the village of people was free.
Some volunteered to stay and help fight. Some – mostly the ones with children – took off for the north, either to Shiratorizawa or to one of the noble houses of the north, who had all agreed to their request to shelter refugees.
Yuutarou gave Akira a big, goofy grin. They’d lost a few of the newer recruits, but the main team was still intact. For something as risky as they’d just pulled, it was something to celebrate. Akira returned his look with a smile, a genuine one.
“We’re going to win,” Yuutarou told him. “We’re going to win, and you’re going to get us our home back.”
“You really believe that?” Akira asked. His eyes were bright.
“I’ve always believed in you.”
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