roll-thedice

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If your response to the information "an alarming number of people simply cannot read well enough to function in the society that was built around them" is "wow I'm so much better than them" i think you need to kill yourself

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the OooOOHHH the misery everybodywantstobemy enemyyYYYyyyy song is so bad it makes me not hate imagine dragons. it makes me think that in a way they're geniuses. imagine if you will a pop song chorus where every musical and lyrical choice is exactly the wrong one. isn't that kind of impressive. OK now imagine a dragon

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Wow just had the worst possible experience ever

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tip for californians: sometimes you might see a trans woman complaining that she doesn't like being called 'bro' or 'dude'. you might be tempted to begin a long reply about how you can't help it with "as a Californian." this is NOT NECESSARY—everyone could already telll you were californian because of your unshakeable conviction that you're the main character of reality

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Anolis Aquaticus (By: Lindsey Swierk)

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something incredibly American about an Allied trooper yelling brand names at Soviets until they recognize him as an ally.

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HEAD MAID: And who told you where the maid teapot storage was? Who taught you the knock?

PATHETIC SECOND SON: N-no one… it just seemed like the right thing to try...

HEAD MAID: (thinking) _She shall know your ways as if maid for them..._

.

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“I went to school for game design! I am highly qualified to talk about any game out there!”

I bet you don’t even know how big an 8 year old’s hands are.

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was looking at a timeline of Michigan gay history

HOLY FUCK

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they say you snooze you lose, and well. heh. i snost and lost

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my god you're fucked: the lady at the help desk just went to ask someone else for help with your issue and everyone's got a confused look on

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grocery stores don't love you they want to see harm come to you and if you spend too long in one you will not return the same

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i refuse to get rid of this sweater until it’s just a single thread left

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