#isolation fucking sucks
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Hey by the way. If you can't respect and acknowledge mentally AND Physically disabled people, people of color, immigrants who don't know your country's language, queer people (ESP TRANS PEOPLE), fat people, people who aren't of your religion, and overall anyone not like you,
YOU HAVE NO FUCKING BUSINESS WORKING IN HEALTHCARE!!!!!!!!!!!
#the amount of conservatives i work with makes me wanna derogatorily thow up and then shred them with my vomit covered teeth#when you work in healthcare you vow to help your patients/residents NO MATTER WHAT.#it doesnt matter if you think theyre delusional because theyre trans or you think theyre delusional#becauase they have dimentia. you fucking help that person out while acknowledging them as a HUMAN BEING#WHO DESERVES LOVE AND COMPASSION#its a stressful field to be honest but its so important to give others a better quality of life when you can#its too late for me to learn chinese but im still trying to learn small#words and phrases bclike#isolation fucking sucks#and the us healthcare system already makes chronically disabled people feel like invisible trash bc 'ew we dont wanna see *those* freaks#in public.#and i couldnt imagine experiencing that ON TOP OF NOT EVEN BEING ABLE TO SPEAK TO ANYONE!!#anyways the healthcare field is perfect for autistics and both low and high empathy people. so long as you have a bit of patience#tony speaks
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I know some people have unfathomable beef with the term but i really don’t see the issue with transmascs describing their specific experiences with societal mistreatment and persecution as “transandrophobia”, like i think it’s good to be able to discuss specific experiences and articulate the problems you’re facing actually.
#my stuff#literally the main opposition to it i’ve personally seen is that it’s a psyop or w/e to try and ignore that transmisogyny is a thing#or that it implies men as a class are persecuted despite y’know. the patriarchy#and i think those points ignore A: The same ppl IVE seen talking about transandrophobia ALSO talk abt transmisogyny bc solidarity forever#n B: Men may not be an oppressed class but there are unique things that suck about being perceived as a man by others#or having that perception be conditional or vital to your physical safety#i remember what it was like being a terrified tgirl in the men’s locker room trying not to trip the fag radar#i remember how fucking isolating it is for non-men to treat you like a threat or a predator for existing#those things massively suck and transmascs ABSOLUTELY should be able to discuss them and how those experiences are shaped by their transiton#and the degree to which their masculinity or lack thereof#-real or perceived impacts the transphobia they face#everyone having a fucking mortal kombat linguistics hernia over it shutuppppppppppp#trans
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collection of tiny guys
#art talks about stuff#vocaloid#fanloid#project diva#not going to specifically tag the game because while the spritesheet these are from is extend's these are both in 2nd/extend#hatsune miku#kagamine rin#kagamine len#megurine luka#kaito#meiko#akita neru#yowane haku#sakine meiko#meiko looks so fucked up because she's the only one with nothing on her arms#anyway been meaning to isolate the non-kaito ones for a while so here's the full set#i'm pretty sure there's also like. snow miku/hachune miku/some specific luka + kaito ones but i'll make a different post if i do them#''barney why don't you just graphically exorcise screenshots of the models'' because i can't get noesis to work yet#i'd have to line up the angle/zoom of them just right and that sounds like it would suck#once i can get the models i will post hi res pictures of them that just won't be rn#spriteposting#id in alt text
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Hibrides and Brakul having the world’s saddest booze-fueled girl’s night, probably a few months before the start of the story.
Anyway here's an extensive rundown of their shared history.
Hibrides Uryashta was the eldest daughter of a chancellor of the imperial city-state of Erubinnos (his lordship Erub Uryashta). She was brought up with great privilege and security, but (like most daughters of noblemen) was destined to be used as a bargaining chip in a political marriage arrangement. She was taken from her friends and family and moved to the city of Wardin at the age of 16 to complete her pledged marriage with Janeys Haidamane, the failson of the trade magnate Haidamane family. Janeys spent about a week poorly attempting to behave like a husband, and then took the first excuse to flee and engage in a petty military campaign against raiders on the Yellowtail trade route. She found herself left alone in his villa for three years with only hired servants for company. She made a few attempts to break into the city's elite social scene, but was quite shy and failed to make any headway.
Brakul had just spent a year and a half in a bit of a whirlwind. He was brought into a skirmish at the behest of an allied clan, who had been raiding the Yellowtail route and now was under attack by combined forces of an enemy clan and Imperial Wardi mercenaries. He killed one of the mercenary commanders and was captured as a prisoner of war, but was spared at Janeys' behest (who fucking hated that guy thought it was awesome that he got killed with a rock) and was ultimately recruited into the group. He had a chance to go back home, but actively chose to deadbeat dad out on his wife and child to be with his newfound lovequest, Janeys. He spent a year and a half as a mercenary, bonded closely with Janeys and swore brotherhood with him, and was eventually brought home to the city of Wardin with him. He found himself in the odd position of being simultaneously scorned as a foreigner and 'heathen', and the legal kin of one of the richest families in the city (and effectively the secret male concubine of their only male heir).
It was in this context that the two of them met, with Hibrides now being 19 and Brakul turning 27.
The two were initially wary of each other (Hibrides was particularly put off by his 'heathen' status) but bonded very quickly, partly due to their mutual states of being unmoored from their old lives, but in large part being just a natural chemistry. They had a lot of common interests and enjoyed learning from each other. Hibrides introduced him to traditional verse poetry (of which she was very fond). Brakul taught her how to ride khait, and even gave her a gelding from his own collection as a gift. They became very close friends over the next couple of years and spent much of their free time together.
A big part of the dynamic was that both of them are gay in a cultural context where there is no concept of Being gay, marriages are usually arranged and always between a man and a woman, and having children is a societal expectation. Each of them began to see the other as an ideal husband/wife, ie "if I had to marry why couldn't it have been him/her?". For Hibrides' part, Brakul had all the traits she would want in a husband: he was a pretty good friend and easy to get along with, he seemed like he'd do an excellent job of fulfilling expected roles as a husband and father (she didn't know about the wife and kid for a while), he treated her as an equal, and, most of all, had no interest whatsoever in fucking her. They were both in a sort of platonic emotional affair, and grew to love each other deeply.
Hibrides was pretty quick to catch on that something was going on between Brakul and Janeys, and found it strange and offputting but ultimately none of her concern. Her husband only being interested in his sworn brother and leaving her to her own devices suited Hibrides just fine, and Brakul always just kinda being There meant she was living with what had become her closest friend.
The stable state of this Feelings Triangle began to change in the wake of the brilliant plan to get Janeys (gay) (probably infertile) children he could pass off as legitimate via a Brakul/Hibrides pregnancy. It was something all three agreed to as a necessity; it was already drawing scrutiny that Janeys and Hibrides had been married for several years without a pregnancy, and producing heirs is a societal expectation and a central point of an arranged marriage between wealthy elites.
It was especially critical in this case, given Janeys was his family's only male child and only hope of continuing the family line, given both his golden-child sister Faiza and black sheep half sister Couya were Odonii, and thus sworn virgins and would never marry. (There's also a level to this that Janeys was regarded as a complete disappointment by his parents, and his mother made damn sure he knew that his only value at this point was to produce a better male heir to inherit the business. So this was a big fucking deal to him, and to Brakul by extension).
This was also not a route any of them wanted to take on any personal level, least of all Hibrides. She consented to the pregnancy and everything it entailed, but it was inevitably a painful and distressing experience all around. She had never wanted to be a mother to begin with (though had long accepted it as an inevitability), and now found herself with an infant daughter, which only meant it would have to happen again (they needed a male heir after all). And it would be utter social suicide and a profound shame upon her if the child's illegitimacy was discovered, which only added to the stress.
To make things worse, her first pregnancy shifted the entire dynamic with her husband and brother-in-law/best friend. Janeys changed from completely indifferent to actively spiteful and hostile towards her, and things had become extremely uncomfortable between Hibrides and Brakul. It only got worse with Brakul (the only one of them who actually WANTS kids) (kind of haunted by skipping out on his first child) finding it unbearable to be so close to HIS daughter and having to keep up an act that she was not his own, having no direct role in the kids life. He desperately wanted to be a father.
Hibrides, who was going through a fucking lot, started to become vindictive towards him for his role in things. She resented him more than Janeys, because Brakul insisted he cared about her and would desperately try to pretend things were normal, while consistently siding with Janeys against her wishes, including in preventing her from getting a divorce. (His excuse is that the children's legitimacy would be interrogated in a legal setting, which Is likely and Would be absolute social suicide with very real consequences. But the real reason on his part is that if she got out of the marriage, he might never see her or the children again). Hibrides began to do everything in her power to prevent him from having any relationship with his bastard children, even in secret or under the guise of a relative. Sort of an “if I have to suffer to keep up this facade so should you” thing.
They had two children in a span of three years, two girls (ruh roh!) named Erubi and Livya. By this point, Hibrides and Brakul were both experiencing what we would now call Clinical Depression and Alcohol Use Disorder (especially in the latter's case). Hibrides started to have affairs with both men and women, which she was sure to be very obvious about to insult Janeys and Brakul, but was mostly out of loneliness. Brakul turned his complete focus to Janeys and started avoiding Hibrides entirely, in hopes that she would become desperate enough to be willing to make amends (shockingly, this did not happen, and the rift only deepened).
In the present, their relationship status is: fucked. Both of them do still love each other on some level, but this is probably beyond repair. What little time they've spent with each other in the past year is sitting around being miserable and getting plastered. And now Hibrides, Janeys, and Brakul are all forced into the public eye on the pilgrimage together, and with a third child on the way. So that's probably going to be everyone's problem.
#Their relationship is probably my favorite one in this story but there is literally so much going on. Hard to introduce it properly#This doesn't even get into all of it#Do want to make it clear that Brakul is like. Nice on an interpersonal level but he fucking sucks and is not the victim in this dynamic#He's very selfish. He builds his life around having his cake and eating it too and then moping and being sad and etc when he can't#escape the consequences of hurting people around him#I don't like writing dynamics where one person is like the absolute perfect innocent victim like. Hibrides does some just plain#cruel shit to him. But she's REALLY going through it. She's isolated and lonely and the only person in her life who has loved#her in the past decade won't put his own personal interests aside to actually Help Her. And then has the audacity to mope to her about#how sad that makes him.#He at least has a (fucked up and messy but) devoted partnership with a guy who ADORES him and perpetually enables him#While Hibrides is very shy and finds it hard to break out of isolation. She doesn't really have anyone to rely on.#She does have other people in her life in general though. Faiza has always been pretty kind to her and was a major support in#helping her manage her children's affairs and being provided for. But they aren't really friends it's kind of a familial obligation#Couya had been an enigma to her and rarely present (because she hates Janeys) but she's forced to be around him more#towards the start of the story and thus has started to actually interact with Hibrides. They befriend each other and have stuff going#on during the story#hibrides uryashta#brakul red dog#Anyway extreme side note I did warn that there would be like a dozen characters with Erub_ names as well as two major cities and a river#It gets like that with legendary founder figures
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hiii dayurno could you tell me more about raven!jeremy? it's such a new idea sounds very interesting!!!
hiii of course! buckle up. long story and also a collab with ao3 kevjean :3
well first of all let me say that in this au jeremy is not part of the perfect court or in fact even close to it at all. he’s a sub striker with a high jersey number who did not see much playtime during his career as a raven and was on the lower end of the raven spectrum skill-wise. this is important to tell you because the fic doesn’t start with jeremy in the ravens, it starts with him dealing with the aftermath of the nest getting dissolved and losing every bit of his hopes and dreams after sacrificing everything in his life to make it in eau—it starts with kevin salvaging the last dregs of jeremy’s college career by recruiting him for the foxes for his last year, even though jeremy, as an ex raven, hates him (and jean) for what they’ve done both to riko and to their team
ok good. so set the scene. jeremy is miserable. the ravens already didn’t like kevin and jean to begin with, isolated as they were from the perfect court. now jeremy lost not only his team but the lifestyle surrounding it, the ideology of the ravens, his partner, and his career prospects. he doesn’t have the eau raven title anymore and he can’t use it to get himself in the line of sight of most pro team recruiters. he gave up a family (that didn’t love him much, but still) and a trustfund for this. kevin day leaves the nest, jean moreau follows soon after, and their king kills himself. Do you understand how much jeremy hates them? kevin and jean were perfect court, were untouchable, didn’t even know or care to learn his name as a sub striker with not much under his belt—and then they left and destroyed everything jeremy had worked so hard for without even thinking about him. without remembering him at all, in fact.
he hates them!!!!!!!! desperately. With a passion. getting recruited for the foxes and by kevin day on top of it all is humiliating, but it’s the last chance he has. jeremy arrives in palmetto an angry hateful mess made ten times worse by kevin’s constant criticism of him, unaccustomed with normal life and without a partner for the first time in four years. he’s volatile and destructive and he has nothing to live for. exy is the only thing he wants and it doesn’t want him back. :) kevin steps in and takes jeremy’s game from him much like he did with neil, both out of desperation because the foxes are a mess now with the addition of their freshmen, and because, while jeremy isn’t really anything to write home about in terms of skill, he’s far more ambitious and disciplined than the average fox. jeremy hates kevin but can’t afford to reject his help. thus begins the most convoluted raven partnership to ever exist
jeremy hates kevin and has a non-negligible wish to harm him whichever way he can, but he’s also a raven that escaped the nest all on his own. he latches onto kevin immediately, the two of them becoming partners in the raven sense of the world while clashing Often and Intensely with each other both on and off court. their relationship gets more and more volatile the more jeremy goes out of his way to get under kevin’s skin, resentful and so angry at what the perfect court’s done to him, while kevin sinks his feet in and pushes jeremy way past his limits in his training. basically they are a match made in hell :) lots of hatefucking and jealousy and violence and the one murder attempt ensue as the foxes try to navigate this destructive, hopeless version of jeremy that wants to die and take down as much as he can in the process, up to and including kevin day. they’re together every second of the day and jeremy hates him for everything kevin took from the ravens, but he also depends on kevin’s training and presence to feel like a person again. it’s a really big mess basically that is eventually made worse (and better) by kevin and jeremy starting to sleep together to get the adrenaline out raven-style. and that’s all without jean coming along, which he will eventually
#its really funny but im obsessed w the keremy dynamic here#jeremy hates kevin but he cant let go of kevin at all because he cant be alone#the other foxes dont like him and he’s volatile to all of them because they fucking suck#kevin is the only person who understands even a fraction of what jeremy went through but kevin is#also the reason why jeremy lost everything#he’s Very Much in the raven mindset still and dangerously suicidal#he wants to hurt himself and to hurt kevin and to hurt the foxes and to make something out of his life#after been denied everything he’s spent the last four years humiliating and hurting himself for#do u get it. hes so miserable#he’s so miserable and only kevin can help him and he hates kevin so much.#genuinely his kevin complex in this one is my favorite of all time#jeremy detests kevin wants him needs him to feel good cant stand the sight of him cant forgive him cant live without him#its a very fucked up partnership that also sucks kevin right back into the raven mindset#they become a very isolated cult of two in the foxes that pushes kevin even further away from the rest of them#codependent baddies :) yay#asks#jeremy#keremy#raven among doves#<- provisory wip tag
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atla crack au where zuko and azula burn the palace down as kids (like 12 and 10, respectively, pre-banishment but post-grandpacide), run away to avoid consequences, and somehow end up "discreetly" living in the abandoned fire nation ship in the south pole ("discreetly" is a word which here means "all the adults know they're there bc they have massive arguments every other day, and when hakoda's nearby he "drops" things that might be useful")
ozai ends up blaming the palace fire on iroh and banishes him. he must capture the children to regain his honor (translator's note: this is adult speak for "get their asses back here so i can ground them for the rest of their lives")
#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#azula#fire siblings#somehow despite having lived isolated on a wrecked boat for four years they manage to still be spoiled brats when aang shows up#ozai is significantly less evil bc a) crack au and b) the burning zuko's face off never happened#like he still kinda sucks but he hasn't crossed the line from throne usurper to child mutilator just yet#azula spends half a minute trying to find a way to blame the fire on zuko before realizing that half the flames are blue#the plot twist is that they actually weren't (fully) responsible for the destruction#ursa did it#she chose terrorism ok#jet is her accomplice#like he hates that she's fire nation but damn if she's not good at what she does#jet: ok so how're we gonna get your children out before we-#ursa: fuck them kids#jet: ...dope let's do this
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Ugh, man. I'm really not feeling great right now. It's one of those moments where you're like, "Wow, I really don't believe in myself and also kind of hate my life." Trying to stay positive about it is unhelpful, I think. I'm not really sure what to feel. Maybe just really alone? Or lost? Oh well. That's that.
#not helpol#vent post#personal#depression has been fucking devouring me#and I honestly just feel like shit constantly actually#and nothing seems to help anymore#not talking it out or crying or even going to therapy#i am getting rid of the therapist i have too because she was actively harmful for me#not a bad therapist; just not the right one for me#but yeah i just feel so isolated#even though i have friends i can talk to i just have this habit of never feeling seen or heard anyway#and i think one of my friends sees me as just being negative all the time#and that just sucks ass really#i don't know what to do.#i really don't.
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worst trope is found family separating as soon as the antagonist is dealt with.
#yes this is about voltron and it's also about guardians of the galaxy#what james gunn did to gamora in GOTG3 is criminal#i understand why they did it but to end with her GOING BACK TO THE RAVAGERS?#fail end.#seriously#and it doesnt even make sense bc ofc the high evolutionary isnt going to be the last problem they would deal with#in just a few years they encountered 5 people trying to destroy the universe and who were incredibly difficult foes#youre finna tell me there will never be a situation like that for the rest of their lives?#gtfo#and mantis' end was dumb too not even sorry#i can tolerate drax and nebula's ends.#but everyone else?#stupid#even peter's ending was fucking moronic. bro can pop in on the weekends he doesnt need to be a live in nurse for his grandpa#it's just such a major letdown and sucks everytime a director/author decides to split up the found family permanently#at least with voltron you can rationalize it by saying 'oh they never really wouldve hung out with eachother if they werent forced to for#voltron and werent forced to fight a war together.' and i can see it bc none of them DO hang out together before voltron#they barely even hang out AFTER they become voltron#keith and shiro hang out bc of the adoption/fostering/mentoring thing. lance and hunk MIGHT hang out bc they were already teammates#it's important to note that we never really see hunk and lance being bffs. theyre just friendly to eachother.#this becomes even more apparent once hunk and pidge actually become friends. it's very obvious hunk was just being friendly to lance.#just friendly.#(take this with a grain of salt bc ive only watched the whole series one time. i refuse to acknowledge anything after se 2.)#so yeah it does make more sense theyd all go their own ways but not even the small friend groups stay together at the end!#pidge and hunk are in completely different galaxies from eachother. same with keith and shiro#lance is isolated from all of them bc post se 3 writing team genuinely hated him and failed him as a character.#but GOTG3? they CHOSE to band together time and time again. they CHOSE to be a team. they CHOSE to be family#for every single one of them to say 'nah fuck that i want to be on my own bc uhhh reasons!' is a lame ending.#period.#gotg3
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ohhhh right. i have mental health problem.s
#boycritter et al#........................................................................................#..................................................................................#......................................................................................#.......................................................................................#.........................................................................#....................................................................................#having an eating disorder sucks so bad holy shit guys#did you guys know this. did you know having an eating disorder sucks and is horrible.#i dont like talking about it bc why would i but#it sucks so bad and its so isolating and im not sick enough to make a big deal about it but at the same time i can feel the effects#my chronic illnesses are worse. im exhausted. my brain is fucking eating itself!!!#ugh its just. its bad. would not recommend.#tw ed
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A lot of discussion involving minors safety online has people saying a lot “just don’t let kids online at all, or control and monitor all their online activity, simple as.”
That argument just uh. Completely relies on parents to not be abusive and bigoted. Which most parents nowadays are.
#Online safety#Man I know I got groomed and abused online before but like. I had parents that micromanaged my social life isolated me and were bigoted#I had nowhere else to go and nowhere to be myself. and if I relied on other adults like teachers I would either get dismissed#Or told “if you pull that trans crap at school we will pull you out”#It fucking sucks that these days kids cannot escape abusive situations. Especially those that suffer mainly emotional abuse and queerphobia#You ain’t getting hit or touched on your genitals (much)? Sorry kid! The law says it’s not abuse! Now all your therapists and even child#services will say it’s your fault you feel miserable and your parents are fine! Screw you!
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#not my place to say because i have no clue what's happening and don't involve myself in any of this but like.#it really does make the fandom experience worse when the only thing people are absorbed in is drama.#i feel very isolated from everyone rn and it's making it very hard to be online#no matter where you stand it's isolating and it sucks. feels like everyone is bonding over gossip that i truly Do Not Care About#and i'm just. sadtoad.jpeg#(not that i don't care about my friends getting bullied or anything!!!)#(this isn't even a vague this is about fandom issues that have Always Existed)#(it just feels like i stay in my lane and anytime i veer out of it i'm bombarded with crazy bullshit LOL)#i miss my friends and my rp partners and i just asfdajdgfasvjd i'm having a hard time being here rn#anyway if you made it to the end of this vent this is all to say: SORRY I'M NOT WRITING AND SORRY I'M NOT ON DISCORD LMAO#tua s4 ruined my life and now i'm trying to get away from vagueposts and bullshit and i just. I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT i'm sorry#*【 ❛I'm not the spirit of any age. ❜ 】 ➤ OOC
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working on a gifset and can i just say phia saban the ACTRESS THAT YOU ARE:
the sharp fucking turn when he's like wubuwbwu its a lieeee, the withering looks she gave him. it was excellent.
#tbd#anti helaemond#i guess sorry lol#full offence but i would just throw myself into the godseye if helaena looked at me like that#anyway listen the show is trash and yeah x sucks and y sucks but like i know she channelled all the energy for this one#l'm so bitter about like the lack of helaegon and even saltier bc tom and phia tried to get scenes#they fucked like the worst moment of these two chars lives and didn't even let them share in a loss that only the two of them could fathom#but man i felt it here she was channelling it here ok that's all i can say#it was sooooo you come onto my balcony after you tried to kill my husband and now u try to lie to meee????#will anything come of this? no because condom and hiss are trash but like i am sorryyyyy for enjoying this but i'm not#it's all nonsense but i'm willing to take my CRUMB!!!#but yeah like to be clear: it's frustrating that she's relegated to this no taste for flying shit and i hate it so much#genuinely a disgusting thing to throw in there for a char who canonically loved nothing more than flying on her fucking dragon#bc if they are so determined for her to not wanna burn people there is literally everything to gain and nothing to lose#by having her fly around on dreamfyre just as a show of strength or scouting or anything#and faux feminist sara piss i'll never forgive you for your gross writing#like fucking hate show clownmond so much but like yeah she is his only option i agree#but i'm just going to enjoy this in isolation bc it was so cathartic after rr and a*mond continued to torture a fucking bedridden aegon#and an entire season of his fam treating him like shit#hotd spoilers
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And then she used the bad outfits to wipe out half the universe
#ok i will try to stop being mean about TWN i swear#it's just that i can't get these godawful costumes out of my head#like ok i don't get book accuracy i don't get yennefer treated fairly i don't get a good edge of the world i don't even get good aguaras#can i AT LEAST get good costumes????#then lucinda broke into my house spat in my face and said no#and i know i'm being mean but it just sucks that the direction of the costumes and the style of the designer is one that i ABSOLUTELY HATE#and to top it all off there's no real cohesion with the outfits and the world#or even the outfits and the characters themselves#lucinda's interpretations and justifications behind the costumes is just one that i don't particularly like#like if there was good reasoning behind them but they weren't executed well then i wouldn't be as disappointed#or if the reasoning was stupid but the costumes actually looked good (or good enough to not completely break my immersion)#that would be at least something#but I get NEITHER#also shout out to two outfits that didn't make the cut:#the stupid fucking bright purple cloak while yennefer is on the run (does not fit in with the practicality of the narrative or character)#and the leaf/constellation (?) dress in 203 that looks like it's five seconds away from slipping off and flashing us all#it's a nice dress in isolation but for me at least really doesn't work with what's happening in the scene narratively or for yen's characte#anti twn#twn critique#twn critical#twn negativity#anti witcher netflix
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Ugh
#I hate capitalism so fucking much I hate the isolation it brings#I hate how it snuffs out your life and everything you hold dear for the sake of profit#I hate that we're all just cogs in a machine having our autonomy stripped away#with ever rising prices forcing us to work more just to break even#all the while we spiral deeper into isolation and exhaustion#while every avenue of genuine human connection is barred from us#by restrictive work hours and increasingly inflexible schedules#with the crushing financial weight of doing fucking ANYTHING other than going to work#because god forbid a real living human person do ANYTHING other than fucking toil their lives away forever right#this shit sucks somebody should write a book about this#pun's text posts
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me when I remember that I suck and people hate my entire existence
#honestly like if you ever think ‘I’m gonna send this person all the reason I don’t like them’ on anonymous#maybe just take 0.2 seconds to consider how long it might affect them for#like in the last 4 weeks I’ve cried like every day#had to go on new meds#and isolated myself from like most people#so like idk maybe just consider if anonymous hate is worth it#but like I guess people that send anon hate want to hurt you deeply#but like idk man it’s just fucked#didn’t mean to write an essay in the tags#just think it’s absolutely fucked up that I now don’t have a safe space on the internet#and I will remember what those messages said for the rest of my life probs so ouch#rsd sucks ass btw
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are you ever so lonely it feels like acid under your skin
#today sucked#i had a good week#i was doing okay#but i got a little too personal talking about something and it all came roaring back#spent an hour or two crying and still don't feel any better#i can't really express how much i want a different life than this#i want to be someone else i want to be SOMEONE at all#days like this feel like I take up no space and weigh nothing and i could just disappear and nothing would change#i hate being so fucking isolated#and the fact that society is full of lonely people makes me feel even worse somehow#you're not special. we can't fix this. just suffer#rant tw#vent tw#elletalks
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