#isn't going to change and probably never will for the 3rd time this week and they are mourning the loss of their childhood

[observationcoffee]

I think the people who think relationships are easy and unproblematic are people who really haven't been in a committed relationship longterm. Alot of people romanticize relationships but it really is a commitment to one another. For better or worse, people are going to have bad days. They aren't always going to be tolerant of your little quirks and flaws just like you won't always be able to. But thats the whole point of dating. It's to find out "if" you can live with each others flaws longterm. Whether you like the concept of marriage as an institution or not, the concept of "in sickness and health" "richer or poorer" "for better or worse" is sort of what you are agreeing to when you decide to settle long term with someone. That isn't to say to put up with abusive shit or lose your individual identity in your relationship, if anything you should be pushing each other to be the best version of yourselves. But if their loved one dies, or they end up in an accident, or get sick, they need to be able to lean on YOU! Just like you would expect them to do it for you!

Thats the other thing, people who think like that also don't seem like the people who think anything bad is ever going to happen to them or their partners. Relationships are about the romance and domesticity sure, but its also getting up at 3 in the morning when you have work in 5 hours to help clean up the bathroom because your partner power puked before they could get to the toilet because their new medication for their chronic pain is making them sick. And then when you get home, doing the chores because they weren't able to get out of bed all day, while being understanding that their pain is making them miserable and they aren't going to want to hear about how their trauma dumping is "problematic" or "toxic". Because people need a shoulder to cry on and vent, its a healthy and normal thing for people to do when bad things happen in their life.

And as op said above, you do it for them BECAUSE your partner is worth having in your life! Just like they should do that for you! They might grow and regress throughout the relationship, but if it's the right match you will want to be there for each other through it.

I think that in real life…. Relationships r like . Your partner WILL ‘trauma dump’ on you. You will have to perform ‘emotional labor’ for your partner. Your partner will make mistakes. You will also do all of these things. The very nature of love is irrational and problematic and difficult …. To expect a relationship to be free of these things is strange to me…. The point is that your relationship to that person is ultimately worth it, and worth growing with them, helping each other, seeing the worst parts of another person and being able to love them anyway

[kaliforniahigh]

Fluffy request, with a touch of angst maybe 🙈

You and Noah have been together for 2 years but now you're slowly drifting apart for various reasons 🥺 He's always on tour or in the studio, he forgets your birthday and anniversary, when he's home he's tired and quiet, etc etc... Well, on the day of your 3rd anniversary he surprises you with a song he wrote (the acoustic version of Just Pretend). He's always loved you even if he isn't good at expressing it, so he thought the song would be the best way. Fluffy hugs and cuddles after the song and maybe a proposal??

I loove a good flangst. I got a little carried away with this one.

Questioning if Noah still loved you after almost 3 years wasn't on your bingo card for 2024.

You knew he was busy for the most part of the year, so you always tried to work around his schedule and he always helped you out.

But in the past weeks you felt a shift in your relantionship.

You noticed he secluded himself in his studio for longer than normal.

Because of that he is more tired and when he gets home he doesn't give you the attention he usually did. Now he just showers and goes to bed.

You could probably count on one hand the words you exchanged with each other during the day.

And today wasn't any different. You get home tired from work, and decided to just take a bath and make something simple for you to eat.

You knew Noah wasn't going to be home before you hit the pillow anyway. You weren't going to wait up just to have yet another awkward conversation.

You went up to your bedroom, dropped your phone on the nighstand, grabbed your favorite candle and went to have your bath.

You didn't hear the front door opening and Noah ascending the stairs to your bedroom. He could smell your candle burning and decided to not disturb you, figuring you had a bad day at work.

While he was changing into some comfy clothes, he heard your phone ping a couple of times.

He knew he shouldn't do this, but he couldn't help but take a peek. He saw your best friend's name on the screen and a text that shattered his heart.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, honey. Why don't you ask him if his feelings have changed in these years?

As he finished reading, another one came through.

I'm sure he has an explanation for having been treating you this way.

You think he doesn't love you anymore. And as he thinks to the past couple of weeks, he doesn't blame you.

He walks over to the closet and picks up the ring box he has hiding in there along with his work laptop.

As you finish your bath and get yourself dressed, you go downstairs to make yourself some dinner.

You see Noah sitting on the living room couch, doing something in his laptop.

Great, now he is bringing work home too, you think.

"Hey, why don't you sit down with me? I need to talk to you", he tells you, a nervousness in his voice.

"Before I say anything, I need to show you something. It's a song I've been working on and it means a lot to me that you listen to it"

You nod and a few seconds later the soft strumming of a guitar fills the living room.

Noah's voice is unlike anything you've ever heard from him in a song. You can hear the emotion and vulnerability and it brings tears to your eyes.

Somehow you know he is singing this to you, and your confirmation comes when he stands up from the couch and kneels in the carpet right before you.

"I know I haven't been a good boyfriend latetly. Truth is, after buying this ring for you, my head went down a rabbit hole, with thoughts of losing you and not being a good enough partner that I turned into that without even realizing it. I made you doubt my love for you and that is something I never want to do again. I want to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much I love and appreciate you, if you would let me. So, will you marry me?"

To say you were in shock was an understatement. You honestly thought he was breaking up with you when he said he needed to talk.

You found yourself nodding and saying yes over and over again. Kneeling with him and engulfing him in your arms.

"Whenever you feel that way, I need you to tell me, because we're gonna work through this together. You don't have to feel caged in inside your own mind, okay?"

After a few seconds, he pulled away and slipped the ring in your finger, and you stayed there, feeling the love you have for each other.

[lucy90712]

Bad luck charm- Pedri

February 16th 2023 

41' Pedri replaced by sergi Roberto.

Pedri picks up an injury, he is out and his recovery will determine his return.

May 14th 2023 

Pedri ruled out for the rest of the season with discomfort.

August 23rd 2023

Pedri picks up an injury in training, he is out and his recovery will determine his return.

December 17th 2023 

Pedri picks up an injury, he is out and his recovery will determine his return.

March 3rd 2024

It's happened again. I can't believe it. Seeing him laying on the floor clearly in pain just broke me. He's not long come back from his last injury and it looks like he's injured again. What makes it all so much worse is that I'm here again it just seems that every time I can make it to a match Pedri gets hurt. I can't watch many matches because I'm either in classes or working and Pedri gets that in fact he says it makes it more exciting when I can make it to a game. As much as he gets excited I've come to fear going to matches as I'm sure I bring the team bad luck if it's not a injury for Pedri then it's a big loss for the team it just seems that something always goes wrong when I'm there. 

Watching Pedri limp off the pitch tears in his eyes made me wonder if this is all worth it. I love watching him play in person instead of on a screen but maybe that's the best way forward especially if it means he stays fit and the team does well. At this point I'm just hurting everyone I'm hurting Pedri and myself because I suffer too when he's out injured for weeks because he just isn't himself in that time. The more times this injury occurs the more upset Pedri is each time which in turn makes me feel awful because I just want him to be happy and do what he loves so maybe it's time that I finally admit to myself that I'm the problem to save us both more unnecessary pain.

I had to sit in my seat for the rest of the match which felt so cruel but eventually the match ended and I was able to get up from my seat and head down the tunnel to find Pedri. To start with security were hesitant to let me in but eventually they accepted that my pass was real when I was able to get Gavi to FaceTime me to prove we knew each other. I've never had such a struggle getting past security before but I guess that really just sums up today and probably my luck at matches in general. Finally I made it through but by the time I did all the players had already gone in the locker room so I just had to stand outside and wait but I did send a text to Pedri first telling him I was there whenever he was ready. 

It wasn't long before a red and puffy eyed Pedri limped his way out of the locker room looking at the floor refusing to meet my eyes. Still he came straight over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist burying his head in my shoulder. Of course I've seen Pedri upset before but this is the most upset I've seen him about football; he goes silent and doesn't like to let go of me when he's really sad and thats exactly how he is now. It hurts so much seeing him so distraught at being injured again, he's been working so hard to not only recover but stop himself from getting injured and and clearly he feels like none of it was worth it. As much as I want to tell him it's not his fault and that I'm just bad luck now isn't the time he needs my support and that's what I'll give him. 

Originally the plan was for me to get on the last flight back to Barcelona this evening and land when Pedri would be able to pick me up after leaving the training centre but plans have changed. Pedri didn't want me to leave so he asked maybe begged to bring me on the flight back with the team and the people with the club couldn't say no especially seeing how distraught he was. As much as I wanted to I couldn't be by his side the entire time as I had to board the flight first with all the team staff but luckily they allowed me to sit with Pedri so I took my seat and just had to wait. Realistically it wasn't that long before he arrived but it sure felt like forever until I saw him coming down the aisle of the plane looking mostly at the ground. 

He sat down next to me and rested his head on my shoulder as he began crying again. I moved so that his head rested on my chest which allowed me to hold him closer while running my hand through his hair as that usually calms him down a bit. After we took off some of the boys tried coming over to comfort Pedri or just see how he was doing but he didn't want to talk he just made a few noises or made me talk for him. Eventually everyone left us alone but that didn't really make things any better Pedri was still upset and I was left alone with my own thoughts. 

"Everything will be ok you know that right" I said to help comfort Pedri and quieten down my own thoughts in my head 

"Will it though I'm injured again what if it's another relapse then everything I've done to prevent it has been a waste of time" Pedri sniffled 

"Don't say that for one we don't know what is wrong yet it may not be a relapse and two all of the changes you have made will benefit you in years to come when you are still playing at 35" I said 

"I'm not going to be playing then" he said 

"Why not if you keep doing what your doing the injuries will get better and you can play for many more years" I said 

"I know it's tough right now but you need to stay positive feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to make you any better I want to see the extremely motivated Pedri I saw during your last injury" I added 

"You're right but it is really difficult especially after I've had so many injuries" he said 

"I know how about you get out all your emotions tonight then tomorrows a new day so we can both be extra positive" I said 

He offered me a small smile before burying his head again. I can see that he's broken inside which only makes me feel worse. How can I possibly bring such suffering to the person I love the most. Once Pedri fell asleep in my arms I let out a few tears of my own because I just feel so bad that he has to go through this all again just because I actually attended a match.

~~~~~~~~~~

After yesterday I decided to work from home today so I could be there when Pedri came back from getting his medical tests done. Even if the prognosis is better than we first thought I still want to be here for him to either comfort him or celebrate the little win. Working from home is supposed to involve working but I've done very few productive tasks as I've only been thinking about Pedri. I can't get the image of his face with his red eyes from crying out my head I've never seen him so broken and fragile and I don't think I could handle seeing it again so I definitely need to tell him that I can't come to games anymore. 

3 long agonising hours later I got a text from Pedri telling me he was on his way back home. I tried focusing on work but quickly gave up and decided I'd prepare a snack for both of us, it was nothing complicated but it kept my mind occupied. Luckily it all took me long enough that by the time I was done I heard Pedri's car pulling into the driveway. I didn't want to seem too eager so I stayed in the kitchen and made myself look busy until Pedri announced his presence and came to join me. He had a smile on his face which was such a relief but I still wanted to hear exactly what had gone on.

"Come on tell me what happened" I said 

"The injury isn't as bad as we first thought and it's not a relapse it's a new injury so I shouldn't be out for as long" he said 

"Thats great I'm so happy for you" I said giving him a hug 

"It's such a relief it's not good being out again but it doesn't feel quite as bad knowing that it's not the same injury again" he said 

"Yeah that is a relief" I said 

"Is everything ok with you?" He asked 

"Yeah yeah I'm fine I do need to get back to work though" I said giving him a quick kiss 

It's not often I work from home as I never get as much done and it's harder to manage my team from home but sometimes it's nice to be a bit more comfortable. Whenever I do work from home Pedri always leaves me be only coming into my office to bring me water or food but today he came in just a few minutes after I had got settled and sat on the little armchair I have in the corner of the room. As I worked he gradually pulled the chair closer until he was sat right next to my desk watching me as I worked. Don't get me wrong it was nice to have his company but he never does this so I was a bit confused as to why he was being so clingy all of a sudden. I kept trying to focus but whenever I did anything Pedri would lean in to press a kiss to my cheek which took away all my concentration. 

I tried to hard to keep working but I was just so distracted that I stopped what I was doing and turned to face Pedri to see if he would tell me why he was being so clingy. Instead of doing that he grabbed my face and gave me a kiss which I thought might be what he wanted but then he gave me another one and then another until I stopped him. 

"What has got into you" I laughed 

"I just want to spend time with my girlfriend and give her lots of love" he said 

"That's not the only reason is it, what's on your mind?" I asked

"I want to know what's on your mind I know there's something you aren't telling me and you know I can't help unless you tell me" he said 

"It's sounds stupid but I think I'm a bad luck charm every time I go to watch you play in person something bad happens either you get injured or the team loses and every time it's so upsetting so I just think I shouldn't go to matches anymore" I explained 

"Do you really blame yourself?" He asked 

"Well yeah bad things only happen when I'm there I know you guys lose when I'm not but things always seem worse when I go" I said 

"That's just a coincidence there's games you've been to that we won like when we won the league you were there that day and you came to watch when we won the super copa it's not you it's just been a rough time recently but I promise it's not you" he said 

"Maybe until things are better I shouldn't go to matches I don't want everyone to start resenting me because I'm making things worse" I said 

"No one is going to hate you we aren't having the best season but that's not your fault ok and I need you there having you at matches motivates me to play even better" he said 

"Are you sure?" I questioned

"Of course even if you are a bad luck charm which you aren't you are my bad luck charm and I'd bring you everywhere if I could because I just like having you with me" he said giving me a kiss which made me feel so much better

[dystychiphxbia]

☆ - Gym crush! pt 2

It's a fun concept! i thought the first one would get like 5 likes and it got like...90??? IM SO THANKFUL

gn!reader

characters: anri, oliver, shidou

Teieri Anri;

you two meet at the 8am Saturday yoga class

and you just immediately get along!

Anri would complain about her work and would always lend a listening ear to you as well

quickly you realize that you are more excited about seeing Anri than the actual class

but you two just get along so well...could you really have a crush on her?

you ask her if she has any other hobbies and somehow end up agreeing on going on evening walks at least 2 times a week

she rants about Ego fresh out of work, you love seeing that side of her

she's so passionate that you actually start to learn things about football to impress her

and she IS impressed!

the thing is, she loves to spend time with you with as much as you do

she's always smiling so brightly at work before your evening walks, and Ego is so done with her

"Just admit that you like them" "What?! No! We are just friends! Totally!"

but she DOES like you

but you are just her workout buddy...right?

Oliver Aiku;

this man has been shamelessly watching since day 1

doesn't matter what you are doing, he has been watching

unless he's looking or working out with some random girl

which you find ANNOYING

man has to decide if he wants a piece of this or not

it doesn't take him long to approach you the next time he gets rejected by someone

"nice ass" "got anything better to say?"

he's actually nice to talk with sometimes but he's constantly flirting with you

definitely not ashamed to show you that you are his gym crush

asks you for your workout schedule so that he'll always be there at the same time

even if he's flirty and probably after just one thing, he has to admit that you work hard

he's so good at spotting too, you never have to worry about being crushed by the bar, he will save you every time

attempting a pr? he will hype you up like there's no tomorrow

but he's also pushing you to work harder on the days that you dont feel like it

you've started to enjoy your workouts with him...

and you are definitely seeing progress! and he's seeing it too, always making sure to compliment you

you start getting excited to see him whenever you go to the gym

and oliver has realized that he thinks less of getting into your pants, and more about you in general

"y/n said this the other day!" "is that another one of your bitches?" which eventually changes into "stop talking about y/n PLEASE"

yeah he shows you off to his teammates!

he makes sure to invite you to his next football match and he's so happy when you actually come watch

Shidou Ryusei:

he wants to impress you

probably ego lifts and thinks that you will pay more attention to him that way

but ego lifting isn't attractive. you make sure to ignore him every time

but you steal glances at him, and 99% of the time he's already staring at you

also shamelessly looks at your ass

will start fights with anyone who he thinks is looking at you inappropriately, or honestly anyone who he thinks us looking at you in general

in reality he's the only one who's actually looking at you, but NOW the whole gym is looking at you two

flirts with you

started going to the gym everyday so he could learn your schedule, because you wouldn't tell him

always asks you to spot for him even though both of you know that with his weights, you aren't gonna be able to save him

"i'll watch and let you die if you fail this." "ur cute face motivates me so much that i'll get it!"

u eventually warm up to him...he can be nice sometimes

and overall you enjoy the friendly company

maybe you catch yourself immediately looking for him when you walk to the gym...

he just waves at you, telling you to warm up quickly and join him

now if only he stopped fighting anyone and everyone at the gym!

this is not as good as the first one and i was struggling to choose the 3rd character for this 😭 will def do more cause i love thinking of these silly scenarios

[heluvschibi]

Day 2

Cussing, pregnancy, forced pregnancy, death, ??plot twist??

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The morning sun woke you up from your slumber, you were wrapped up in your husband's arms throughout the night, his chest on your back.

You assumed he was sleeping by the way his soft breath tickled the back of your neck, but when you decided to sit up you were met with resistance. You ended up giving up and turning your head to see that he had one eye open with a smirk before closing both eyes.

"Binnie let me get up so I can make breakfast." You giggled.

He moved closer, kissing your back, and up your neck, before laying in the crook of your neck, "Let's cuddle for more... Hm..."

Your rolled your eyes playfully before letting out a soft laugh, "How long have you been up?"

"Long enough to hear you talk in your sleep."

You managed to flip yourself looking at him with a frown, "I do not talk in my sleep..."

He let out a laugh because moving closer and kissing you, "Mm, okay tell yourself that."

"I will."

You both laughed before sitting in comfortable silence, his hand reached up and caressed your cheek, "I love you..."

You kissed him, "I love you too."

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The first few weeks you've been... Sick, the smell of fish, meat, and almost everything made you sick, you felt sick in the morning, you urinated more, and your breasts started to feel tender. You then told Changbin who freaked out more than you did, and brought you to a hospital.

"Your pregnant."

You looked confused at what the doctor had said, like he was speaking a foreign language. Pregnant??

Changbin was also confused, he held onto your hand the whole time.

"I'm pregnant?"

The doctor nodded, "It seems like your in your 3rd or 5th week by now."

The room was silent, you looked over at Changbin who still seems to be processing the words coming out of the doctors mouth.

You let out a soft chuckle, "Impossible, I've been taking plan B after each time we have sex."

"Maybe you forgot? If you don't believe me, we can even take a pregnancy test."

You nodded your head slowly, "I-I would like that."

The doctor stood up from the swivel chair, "I'll be back with a water, and a cup for you to pee in."

The doctor walked out of the room, leaving you alone with Changbin, who still seemed to be lost.

"C-Changbin-"

"Oh my gosh, your pregnant!" He yelled out with a smile, making you then smile. A super late reaction.

"You're not mad?" You mumbled, happy that he's happy, but still confused.

He nodded his head and kissed you, "I'm ecstatic!"

You were happy that he was happy, but... Deep down you didn't want to have a child, not now at least, you want a child when the time comes, and that time isn't now. You know it's your body, and you do have a say in what goes in and what comes out... Like a baby, but... You didn't want to tell Changbin. You've never seen him this excited in a long time.

The doctor walked in holding a pee cup and a water bottle, "Drink up, and when you have to pee, there is a bathroom just down the hall."

You nodded your head and took it, almost immediately drinking the water.

And after a few minutes go by, you go to the bathroom and pee in the cup, handing it over to the doctor, who left the room to test it.

"W-what if it's a boy? Or a girl!" Changbin was talking almost to himself before looking at you.

"Do you think I'm a girl dad or a boy dad?" He held your hands.

You laughed, "It doesn't matter, and plus... The doctor probably had gotten it all wrong, there's no way I'm pregnant, I-I mean you've seen me take the pill... Right?"

"Yeah, I've seen you take the pill, but sometimes miracles happen!"

"Or mistakes..." You mumbled.

"What?"

You smiled, "Oh nothing, I-I think your more of a girl dad."

He smiled and hugged you.

The test results came in, "And your pregnant."

The doctor showed you the test, the color had changed to a pink making your heart drop.

"No way..." Both you and Changbin said, him with a smile and you still confused.

"Well they do say... miracles do happen." The doctor smiled at both you, "You both would be lovely parents."

"Thank you." Changbin said with a smile.

"Because this is only the 3rd or 5th week, you are still in your 1st trimester, the baby is still forming, and is fragile, so stay away from alcohol, caffeine, and don't smoke."

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Changbin was already on a rampage, he would accompany you on shopping trips just to stop by the baby section saying, "Oh wouldn't our baby look so good in this!?"

Everytime you would go out and a mother, or couple walks by with there children, Changbin would always smile.

It doesn't matter where you go now, you could be in a fucking strip club and someone would be talking about a baby...

Baby ad's here and there, baby clothes, toys on sale, babies, babies, babies, babies! You were going mad...

So you decided to tell him, tell him why you've haven't been so excited to have the baby, "Changbin, can we talk?" He had just gotten home from work, probably boasting to his members on how his wife is having a baby.

"Hm? What is it? Is the baby okay?"

You frowned, "Are you not worried about me?"

He froze and looked confused, "What do you mean? Of course I'm worried about you baby, why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you never ask about me anymore, I know there's a child growing inside of me but shouldn't you be worried about the carrier, me? More than the what said carrier is carrying? This thing, this child is sucking all the nutrients out my body to grown and your worried more about it than me?"

He stayed silent, his eyebrow furrowed and he looked away, "I'm sorry..." He walked to you and hugged you, "I'm just, happy to finally have something I can call mines... A-aren't you happy to?"

You pulled away from the hug and looked at him, "No! I'm not happy about having this fucking baby!"

He just looked at you.

"I never wanted this fucking baby! Why would I be happy?"

"Why wouldn't you be happy?! I-I mean cmon your gonna have a child? Who wouldn't be happy? I'm happy and I'm not even the mother..." He let out a laugh.

"You know what... Never mind." you walked away, going to the bedroom.

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You've finally excepted the fact that your gonna have a child, you were just as happy as Changbin. He came with you to every ultrasound, every doctor visit, even if he was an active member of a kpop group, he would skip fan signs, events, award shows, just to see his baby, and his other baby happy.

And soon 9 months went by in a flash, Changbin practically breaking almost every traffic law just to get you to the hospital, cause he doesn't want you to to worry about having a child at home.

They signed you in and immediately, took you to a room, "Changbin, would you be okay if I said I didn't want you in the room with me?"

Changbin who was sitting on a chair by your bed who was sweating like he was about to give birth, he looked up at you and pouted, "What, B-but I wanna be by your side..."

You smiled and cupped his cheek before kissing him, "I understand that... But... You kinda did run out of practice while you and the boys were dancing..."

"I don't care."

You frowned, "I do, call them, and leave room for the doctor and nurse to do their thing."

He started to cry, "But it's gonna hurt. D-don't you wanna hold my hand? I'm strong you can squeeze it a-as much as you want!"

"Changbin... I love you, okay?"

He pouted and nodded his head.

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After hours you've finally gone into labor, Changbin was escorted out of the room to a chair by the door, he was calling his members telling them that you've gone into labor.

"She kicked you out of the room?" Felix said over the phone, before laughter erupted on their end.

"Yes, she said she wanted the doctor and the nurse to have more room to work..."

More laughter came from their end before Chan said, "Okay, we'll be on our way so your not out there alone."

"Thanks guys."

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After some time, another nurse walked into the room, and another, and another, making him worried.

But then the doctor came out, he couldn't tell his expression because the mask, the boys had fallen asleep, other than Chan.

"Congratulations, you have a very beautiful baby girl..."

Changbin smiled wide, "O-oh my gosh, I was getting worried..."

Chan started waking up the kids telling them the news of the first niece they get to take care of.

Then the doctor touched his shoulder before rubbing it, "A-and I'm sorry for your loss."

Changbin's smile dropped, so did the boys, they were going to congratulate him oh having a healthy baby, but now...

Changbin let out a laugh in disbelief, "W-what do you mean? S-sorry for your loss?"

"The mother- Seo y/n - has died due to some complications during the birthing process... amniotic fluid embolism... It seems that she was bleeding more than what we expected... So-"

"No!" Changbin shouted, tears rolling down his face, he started crying, "Y-your lying stop fucking lying to me! Is this some sort of sick joke y/n asked you to do on me!? I-is that why she asked me not to stay with her!?" Changbin stood up, he was mad, sad.

"Changbin, calm down..." Chan stood up next to him putting both his hands on his shoulders to calm him down, "Let's take a breather-"

Changbin rolled Chan's hands off his shoulder, "Your lying to me!"

"I'm sorry." The doctor bowed his head before making room for him by the door.

Changbin pushed past and walked in... To see your body there, and the baby in the hands on the nurse who just cut the umbilical cord.

Changbin's legs went weak, before he lost his footing and fell to his knees.

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"Mr.Seo, shouldn't you be with your baby?" The therapist said.

"Uh... Her uncles are watching her right now..." His voice was quite.

"Then what do you want to talk about?"

"Y/n's death..."

The therapist, then closed the open laptop and looked at him, "How are you feeling? How has coping been? It has been 2 months."

He nodded his head, "I know that... But I just think, it's my fault she's dead..."

"No, don't say that. It's not your fault-"

"I gave her a melatonin pill, not her plan b..."

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Day 2 done

Wow you guys... I hope I did well?

All angst week stories will be edited at the end of angst week.

[choicesficwriterscreations]

December Creator of the Month: Oh-So-Youre-a-Nerd

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists, and this month’s creator of the month is @oh-so-youre-a-nerd . We're very excited because Ascindio is our very first artist to be highlighted! We hope you will enjoy learning more about them and their work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog Instagram

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? 

Ascindio 

More below...

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

I started playing in 2016, I can't remember if I read Endless Summer or Rules of Engagement first, but I ended up deleting the app after like 2 weeks cause I couldn't stop buying diamonds 😅🤦

I re-downloaded it about, ohh idk 2 years ago?

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined the Fandom specifically on Tumblr and specifically for It Lives Within, which happened to come out right after I read the first two books 

3- How did you pick your blog name? 

I always try to seem cool and mysterious when I meet people irl, and then as soon as I open my mouth, I ruin it with some niche trivia or something, and they say,  “Oh, so you're a nerd.” 😂 Can't tell you how many times this exact phrase has been uttered to me. 

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!  

This is the first Choices related post I made 😂 I was just thinking about the concept of what if characters make terrible decisions cause they're controlled by a player who is out of diamonds lol I was going to do a whole series of them (next was going to be lotr “fly on eagles to mordor?” *30 diamonds* or “simply walk”) but got lazy lol

5- Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both? 

Only art. God, I  WISH  I wrote too. I've thought about trying cause I have so many ideas floating around in my head, but at the end of the day, I'd rather spend my free time drawing. 

6- How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

For Choices, since early 2022

For other fandoms, since well, forever, but I only started posting around 2017/18

7- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

Favorite Choices book is probably It Lives in the Woods. All of the characters were so interesting, I never got bored reading it, and it had an incredible twist that made sense but I still didn't see coming. 

Favorite to create for is probably Blades of Light and Shadow though because I am such a sucker for the fantasy aesthetic.

8- Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?.

This isn't the first Choices art I made, but it IS the first I actually shared

And honestly, I DO still like it because I still remember the way I felt absolutely POSSESSED while drawing it (I hadn't drawn anything for *months*). I would definitely change the background, though. Those trees look like shit, and they're not even the correct type for the kind of forest they're in. 

9- What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created? 

My favorite Choices art I've done is probably this piece. 

10- Do you have a fic/art that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

I definitely didn't expect this one to do well at all as it was so hastily drawn

And I was sad this piece didn't get more love, it was such a dope scene and I was so excited about how the sword turned out

11- If you could only draw one style or type of art for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? 

I'm not sure if I'm interpreting the question right, but if I had to pick like a specific type of art, it would be digital, and I would want to do fan art. I have a hard time painting anything that I don't already have a deep connection with (so original art with no story behind it is usually a chore for me), and digital art is just so incredibly convenient and not messy and so so versatile. 

12 - Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Because I use fiction as a way to safely process trauma/ grief/ other big emotions, each MC I make has a small part of me, whichever part I feel the need to explore at the time.

There's an amazing quote by Patrick Rothfuss that I feel explains it perfectly. 

It's from Wise Man's Fear

“These folk knew all about death. They killed their own livestock. They died from fevers, falls, or broken bones gone sour. Death was like an unpleasant neighbor. You didn’t talk about him for fear he might hear you and decide to pay a visit.

Except for stories, of course. Tales of poisoned kings and duels and old wars were fine. They dressed death in foreign clothes and sent him far from your door. A chimney fire or the croup cough were terrifying. But Gibea’s trial or the siege of Enfast, those were different. They were like prayers, like charms muttered late at night when you were walking alone in the dark. Stories were like ha’penny amulets you bought from a peddler, just in case.”

13 - What element of writing/art do you struggle with most?

I have a very difficult time making the poses seem natural and flowing. My all time favorite art is Baroque/Renaissance style and how fluid the poses are, how soft the skin looks, how delicately it's all done. Obviously, I will always have my own style, but those are things that I so want to incorporate but never seem to get quite right, and it drives me crazy 😂

14 - Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

Not really. I mean, I have a ton of unfinished work, but as soon as the window of inspiration passes, I just can't get myself to care enough about it to finish it (insert Jake the Dog, “now it's gone, and I don't care about it anymore!” )

15 - If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first? 

I would, and have.  I typically show them whatever most rendered recent picture from my Instagram because I don't post any nsfw there and usually try to post only my prettier work for this specific reason haha. (As opposed to here, I post everything here, ain't NO ONE from real life invited to see my tumblr 😂)

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

Writers: Brandon Sanderson, for sure. He's the reason I got back into art back in 2017 ish. His stories are just so emotional they push me to create. Same with @saibug1022, there is always at least one scene from every story he shares that I desperately want to draw to try to capture the emotions. 

Artists: God, sooo many, here are just like my top 3 favorites and their instagrams.

Audra Auclair

Obsessed with her unique style, and specifically the way she draws eyelids and noses

f3lc4t

The way they draw those dripping, glowing wisps. I stare at their pieces for hours (no lie) trying to dissect them stroke by stroke to figure out how they do it.

Miho Hirano

Their art has a delicate whimsy-ness I would SELL MY SOUL to achieve 

17- Which one of your creations would you like to see a fiction written about? 

JC, this is the shit I DREAM of.

Definitely this one. 

So this is love.

This little comic means a lot to me. 

18- Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art? 

Very rarely, but I do, every so often. This is my favorite original piece.

20-  What other hobbies do you have?

Gaming, singing, walking through the Cemetary with my wee daughter, reading, that's about it 🤷

21 - What’s your favorite emoji? 

🙇

22: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

I really wanted to say that I don't believe in “good” art and “bad” art (just ethical vs non-ethical). That being said, I know what it's like to hate your art, like soooo intimately. If you ever are feeling shit about your art, you can ABSOLUTELY message me (I don't care if we're mutuals or not, I don't care if we've never interacted before) and just say, “I am feeling shit about my art” and I will go through your art and tell you every specific thing I love about it and why it's wonderful. I am not joking; I am so so serious rn. 💗💗💗💗 

[project-sekai-facts]

hi! first off, wanted to say thank you for all the fun facts - truly makes my day whenever there’s a new post from this blog :D

secondly, not sure if anyone else has asked this, but i was wondering what your thoughts are on whether a cohesive in-universe timeline of events could actually be constructed? (someday, from the depths of despair happening before n25 main story, l/n main story happening in the beginning of the school year, etc.) i’d imagine you’d have to ignore or somehow squish together all the holiday/seasonal events, or is it simply impossible to squeeze about three years of events into one cohesive ‘canon’ year?

anyways, hope you have a good rest of your day/evening :) keep up the good work!

Omg thank you?? I'm honoured haha

This is my pepe silvia moment sorry

Never underestimate my probable neurodivergence. It's a work in progress and I want to try and get it done by September but the horrible amount of anachronisms in the main story is killing me. Like WxS simultaneously has to be the first and last main story because it needs to happen before the MMJ and VBS stories but also after Leo/need but that takes place at the same time as MMJ but also before it and WxS also has to be after VBS because WxS isn't a thing when akitoya divorce but then Leo/need doesn't exist when akitoya divorce either Saki isn't even at school yet which means there's no MMJ either but WxS exists before Kohane cuts her hair and MMJ story is in progress when that happens like what. I'm calling this confirmation that the main stories were written by 5 different teams. That or no one proofread anything. Oh there's also a massive error with Haruka's age where they say she's 16 but based on when the story is set she should be 15 and the game insists she was never pushed back a year. Thanks colopale.

Anyway since only one main story mentions a date as far as I remember (WxS) I've been trying to build it off of that. There are still errors because the date mentioned is "first day of school break", you can work out that they're talking about summer break by process of elimination but then none of the other units go on summer vacation. But like we'll just ignore that because I'm too tired to deal with colopale's bad continuity writing. Also the game takes place in the 2021-2022 school year because the only date ever shown in game was 2021 and it was in an event set in September/October. The Leo/need socmed posts have mentioned other dates but we'll ignore that also.

And because I misread your question yes you can squeeze everything into a canon year...kinda. You have to timeloop it because they straight up mention in secret distance that they're going on spring break (end of school year break) and literally don't even bring up the fact that it's the end of the school year.

So I think based on what I've got right now:

WxS main story is during summer break and a week or so prior.

Which means Saki and Haruka return to school in June or July probably (they start at around the same time and it's not mentioned that Haruka starts at the beginning of the school year)

and then VBS happens once the WxS story is done (we'll call that after summer break. so september)

Miyajou doesn't get a summer break that year to fix anachronisms rip

Then we skip september for every unit except VBS and pretty much follow the events in order until we get to Secret Distance (March 2022) and loop back to April 2021 and keep doing that at every half anniversary event.

I'm assuming when we reach 3rd we'll skip all the way from September 2021 to April 2022, not timeloop and then pretend that May->September 2022 isn't real and do a Halloween event.

All the flashback events fit onto the timeline without me having to change anything somehow so at least I can respect colopale for that

This is fine

Hatsune Miku broke space-time

[crispinfandom]

In lieu of Project Horizon's soft cancellation and Chessington getting the old plans + 1 more bonus rollercoaster soon... Here was my lore!

CW - Pregnancy-Adjacent, Child-Birth Adjacent, and Miscarriage

-

So my dumb ass started setting up Project Horizon's lore in real time like a good little writer. Originally she was gonna be Oblivion's kid.

Coaster reproduction works very differently from human stuff. Coasters reproduce asexually (outside of a few very rare exceptions). Scientifically, this SHOULD make them an all female species, but whoops me having cis male Coasters was already set in stone sooo

Coasters don't get pregnant. I'm NOT Mpregging Oblivion, I'm NOT!! 😭😭

However, they do experience pregnancy like symptoms such as fatigue, morning sickness, nausea, being overly emotional/hormonal, nesting behaviour, etc etc. Y'know. For some added flare

"Conception" starts when a Coaster has its first mention, whether it be through planning permission, a public consultation, or what have you. A Coaster is officially born into its "child stage" (anywhere from 2-12 years old depending on the target demographic for the final product) once the first signs of construction start, however that may be defined.

The parent Coaster is notified that their child has spawned in by experiencing an intense, excruciating, full-body pain that lasts around 15-30 minutes. Y'know. Just so they know that they know.

HOWEVER! Project Horizon was concieved by this logic, but was never born! Therefore, Oblivion has officially had another miscarriage.

"Wait, another? Who were the first 2?"

Miscarriage 1 was The Smiler. If a Coaster is built in an area with another Coaster that's over 10 years old AND there's no other Coasters of the same manufacturer of the offspring at the park (IE, there was no other Gerstlaurers), then those rides become parent and child.

In 2012, Oblivion was 14, of Coaster reproducing age. However, in 2011, Oblivion was a canon alcoholic. In 2012, he also had other generally stressful life things going on. Therefore, literally less than 2 weeks aftet conception (and before he even really noticed), the parent-child connection was severed and thus marking Bliv's first miscarriage.

Smiler and Bliv are still close. This... Isn't something they really think about. Smiler was handraised by humans and kind of sees one random human as almost being like a parental figure, but absolutely does not see Bliv as like a dad. Probably for the best. Sometimes Bliv looks at Smiler and thinks "hmm. Wonder what life would have been like if things were slightly different," but the thought usually weirds him out pretty quick.

Miscarriage 2 was Oblivion: The Black Hole. Originally (in an out-of-text sense) I planned for Blackhole and Oblivion to have been Husband and Wife, (well... divorced now), and for O:BH to be their kid. I mean... No duh! Seems like a no brainer! But with BH being born in 1982-1984 and Oblivion being born in 1998 (14 years is a parent-child level age gap in Coaster Years) and BH leaving in 2005 and then RANDOMLY still having a kid with Oblivion 10 years later, the timeline didn't really pan out. So, this idea was scrapped. Instead, BH was Oblivion's Mum, and O:BH became Oblivion's sister.

"But wait! Oblivion is 17 years older than O:BH! Why are they siblings?"

If I was starting this lore from scratch, yes! You'd be correct! By my own logic, O:BH would in fact be Oblivion's daughter! Have a cookie, you clever clogs!

Unfortunately, writing is messy, and I already had a bunch of lore I was too attached to to throw away, so I made a compromise.

O:BH was ORIGINALLY going to be Bliv's kid. He conceived her, but before he even knew Gardaland was getting a new Coaster, he miscarried. Some doctors then explained to him that Gardaland was changing their lore and O:BH would be his sister instead.

Bliv's 3rd miscarriage was the aforementioned Project Horizon, obviously. Because Project Horizon was in development for 22 months before the announcement that it *might* be getting moved to Chessington, Oblivion had a lot of time to sit and ponder parenthood. He kind of figured he'd be a rubbish dad. Man can barely look after himself. BUT! He was also kind of excited. Maybe having a kid would be that nudge he needed to actually force himself to have structure and routine in his life, and cook dinner every day instead of just having pot noodle every day for 9 days straight.

However, with Bliv's fertility problems, it wasn't meant to be :(

Now, you may think it's a coincidence that Bliv seems to be a little bit infertile. Well actually, I found a reason! Blackhole also had a miscarriage before having Bliv! You see, there was a Schwarzkopf project planned to go near The Corkscrew that got planning permission in the early 90s, but as you probably know, it never happened. BH was the closest Schwarzkopf, and thus, she suffers the same fate as Bliv. In fact... A lot of Schwarzkopfs do.

Thunderlooper SPECIFICALLY was not expecting to have Nemesis and hated him because it gave him internal issues.

BH got internal issues after having Bliv, which nearly caused her death AND THEN caused Alton to sell her because they didn't wanna pay for her health problems.

Alton Beast (still unsure about the canonicity of this) got sold after having Galactica, perhaps due to reproductive health issues.

So basically, Schwarzkopfs suck at reproducing. This is because Schwarzkopfs were born in a mill, and it kind of screwed them up. Schwarzkopfs having reproductive issues may also explain why 1, Schwarzkopf was a mill in the first place, and 2. Why they're dying out.

But if BH had reproductive issues... and Oblivion has reproductive issues... Who's driving the ship? That's right, it's genetic babieee

TLDR get fucked Oblivion you're doomed by the narrative

[balkanradfem]

Alright so, and I promise this is funny, I have been dealing with severe deficiency in 'making plants grow successfully'. It's going worse than any year but I'm also having a lot of fun with it, because I'm no longer discouraged by baby plants dying, I'm already germinating the next batch and I know I'll be just fine.

This year's weather has been so nice, gardening wise! We didn't have a crazy hot February like the last few years, it's been very frosty in fact, so that the trees didn't flower too soon and I love that for us, that is the promise of fruit, and also making me feel a bit more at ease that the weather, for now, isn't hectic.

The middle of March was nice and sunny, and I felt encouraged to put my baby plants outside, just for an hour or so every day, so they would get used to direct sunlight. I also noticed some of my baby plants turning purple, and I thought, AHA! Nitrogen deficiency, I can fix this by fertilizing them, so I did, a bit too much maybe, because 3 days later half of my tomatoes, and a bunch of other plants sadly died. Some of the plants actually showed signs of getting burned by the sun, but only after the 3rd day they were outside! You're telling me sun was fine for 2 days but then the 3rd day it was just too bright and you had to expire??

Some of the plants that did well initially, also ended up outside when it was, a bit more windy than they could handle. And I wasn't even home, by the time I got home, the plants were already lying horizontally, unable to fight the violent weather.

And this is funny because I take all of these risks every single year and I never had this many of them pan out badly, and never had this amount of seedlings die, but truth be told I do plant too many tomatoes every single year and I should maybe tone it down, 70% of my meals are tomato based at this point (it's so easy to conserve), and I should focus more on some beans and pumpkins.

So anyway, since seedlings are not vibing, I finally gather my senses to go to the actual garden one day, because I'm thinking, there will be cabbage savoy there, and spinach probably grew a bit by now, maybe I can have some fresh spinach! Maybe swiss chard grew and I could eat that, maybe there's a carrot that germinated and would make me happy.

So I bike to the garden and as soon as I get there I realize that everything I was hoping to harvest just went to seed. Two weeks I've been too sick and dealing with medical issues, and I couldn't check on the garden, and 2 days of warm temperatures and everything said bYE and went to make seeds?? The rapid change took me completely by surprise, I didn't think things would go to seed while we still had frosts. I stubbornly picked the cabbage deciding to just eat the little flowerbuds and leaves anyway, the flowers didn't open yet so with a bit more prep time, it's all edible. My spinach went to seed as well, the traitor. It's March!!!

As discouraging as all of this sounds, this is incredible for learning, because now I know that every single thing on this list has a good chance of happening this time of year, and I'll be able to make better choices next time. In fact, if all of this didn't happen now, it would probably happen any year from now on and I wouldn't be ready or expecting it. Next time I'll get all those cabbages before the sun touches them. I'll try growing spinach in the fall when it won't go to seed as easy, and I'll think twice before taking 3-4 risks at once with baby seedlings.

The baby seedlings who survived all this are the victors who are strong and resilient and probably can't be killed by any of my bad choices. Even if I have slightly less plants, I'll have the most powerful plants. The last batch I've planted seems to be growing rapidly, because the weather is light and warm now, and I've planted some flowers I've never had before! I'll have tansy on my garden, for the first time ever.

[a-tale-never-told]

One Ride in the Sunset.

September 3rd, 2012, 4:15pm, 14th Avenue Drive, Kyoto, South Japan.

(Okay, that checks another thing off the list of chores they gave me this morning. Never expected that I'd have this much work on my hands though, considering that the paper info was really short .)

(Still, I've got a long way to go before finishing everything, so I should probably get to the post office to drop off the check now. In the meantime though, let's see what on's the radio for today, just to keep myself entertained for now)

*"After putting the paper down, Hajime reaches for the radio and begins to switch channels for anything, be it music or news*"

Brzzt!- Coming in from Toyoko, where a raccoon started to eat, what I presume is a chili dog-Brzzt!- Today on Sunday night live, we have-Brzzt!

(Hey... This actually isn't that bad of a song. It's catchy, so there is that at least, right? And it's decent for a sundown.)

*"After changing the Radio, Hajime lays back and turns to the left lane, heading for the postal area, as the song begins to play whilst the sun sets*"

(Well Haji, you've made it through the first week, and still, we haven't known anything about Natsumi, or any of the Kuzuryus. We also don't even know the reason why Honami has issues with the Kuzuryus... it's like we almost accomplished nothing last week)

( But then again, I cannot say that with certainty, as we did manage to get some stuff done, like going to the library to get some books to help me investigate the situation. As well as the fact that I managed to spend some quality hangout time with the girls outside of work)

(Speaking of that, I think that conversation really did help me calm down a bit yesterday. I honestly am glad to have people who truly care about me and my well-being, aside from my parents of course.)

(Mikan... the nurse who seems so timid and shy, yet is always caring and thoughtful of others, always willing to help the sick, old or young. She may look meek at first glance, but she's really much a sweetheart to almost everyone she comes across and I'm blessed to work with her, especially since she's so dedicated to her position as a nurse.)

( Ibuki... the girl that likes to party on and is pretty much hyperactive almost 80% of the time, but she surprisingly has a wise, contemplative mind for someone of her age. Still, I did really enjoy the wisdom she tried to give. I honestly never knew she was actually capable of doing that, especially since she seems so hyper and upbeat every single day. Still, she's pretty nice, to be honest.)

(And Chiaki... *sighs* God, where would I be without her? She's pretty much the first friend I've ever made in life, and we'd only grown stronger ever since. She's kind, considerate of others, inspiring, and just an absolutely nice person to be around. Even during the times when either I'm not in the best mood or she isn't, we both try to improve our relationship as friends, one step at a time. She pretty much tried to comfort me about my lack of talent and I greatly appreciate that.)

(I honestly don't deserve those three. They're far too sweet and compassionate for this world, which has now become a place where you have to be judged by society based on your racial color and talent. And through all of the darkness in this world, they're pretty much shining beacons of hope, to overcome the despair of feeling hopeless in life.)

( So I'll try. I'll try to take their advice seriously from now on, as this is advice to give me a healthy mindset going forward. I think the point of what they wanted to say is to be yourself and not lose your sense of self and individuality, to work for that talent while also not losing sight of the ones you love and cherish the most in life. And just... have hope for yourself and for the future. Because isn't that what life's all abo-)

BEEP! BEEP!BEEEEP!!

Wh-

CRASH!!! SHATTER!!!

KRGH!!!

"*Upon hearing those beeps, Hajime turns his head to the front to see a car coming straight at him. Seeing the vehicle right in front of him, Hinata tried to swerve out of the way, but it was too late, as the front of the car collided with the other car's front, sending shards of glass flying across the interior as both cars came to an absolute stop. One of the shards nearly hit Hinata right in the head, though he managed to get out of the way in time. Still, the impact is enough to make him fall onto the floor of the car, making him lose consciousness...*"

[whatsthecraicwithsports]

What's Next For Lewis Hamilton?

As we finally head in to another race week, now might be a good time to discuss the question that's begun to crop up more and more over the course of the last 6 months and will undoubtedly be asked this weekend:

With his contract with Mercedes AMG Petronas F1 Team coming to an end this year, what will Lewis Hamilton do now?

There are a couple of options, some more realistic than others, so let's start with the most unlikely.

Lewis Hamilton Joins Red Bull

Even though we would all love to see Lewis and Max battle it out once again and being teammates would only add to the drama, there's absolutely 0 chance of this happening.

Despite Checo Perez's contract also expiring at the end of the season, Red Bull already have a solid option in Daniel Ricciardo - the team's current 3rd driver - should they decide not to re-sign Sergio.

Plus, Christian Horner has already ruled out a move for the Goat to the Bulls.

Still in F1 Silly Season, anything can happen. I just wouldn't be holding my breath on this one.

Lewis Hamilton Joins Aston Martin

Coming in at the second least probable way this contract situation ends is Lewis Hamilton making a return to a British team.

A move to the Silverstone-based team would however be reliant on one of two things:

Fernando Alonso retires (and based on his performances this season, that is still most likely a few years off)

Lawrence Stroll kicking his own son out of a seat.

The chances of either of those things happening are up there with Nikita Mazepin returning to the sport in terms of likelihood - not statistically impossible, but it certainly feels like it.

Lewis Hamilton Joins Ferrari

A wise man once said "Everyone is a Ferrari fan. Even if they say they're not, they are Ferrari fans." And it's true. The Prancing Horse is synonymous with Formula One. In many ways, Ferrari is Formula 1.

There is not a driver on the grid who will not have, at some point, had a dream of driving for the team from Maranello. And Lewis Hamilton is no exception.

However, it's been no secret that the team has been in a slump in recent years; providing no World Drivers Championships since Kimi Raikkonen clinched the title by one point in Brazil all the way back in 2007. And if the beginning of this season is anything to go by, that does not appear to be changing any time soon.

If Lewis were to leave Mercedes due to the poor form over the 2022 season and the shaky start to 2023, logic would dictate that he would be leaving to join a team in a stronger position than the one he currently finds himself in. The unfortunate reality for Formula One fans is that, at this moment in time, Ferrari are not that team. There have been times over the past couple of season where you wouldn't be out of place by believing that Ferrari may never win another World Championship again.

Lewis Hamilton Retires

If there are no viable alternatives, is it out of the question that the 7x World Champion calls it quits?

If you ask the man yourself: Yes.

The events of Abu Dhabi 2021 sent shockwaves throughout the racing community, and re-lit a fire in Lewis Hamilton. The Mercedes driver has stated, even under the scrutiny of a lie detector, that he will not retire until he reclaims the 8th title that was stolen from him back in 2021.

"Working on my masterpiece, I'll be the one to decide when it's finished." - Lewis Hamilton

Lewis Hamilton Stays at Mercedes

Both the most obvious and the most likely of options at this moment in time. Hamilton is more than just a driver for the German manufacturer. He is Mr. Mercedes. The team will likely move heaven and earth to retain his services if not for his unfathomable talent, but for his sheer value to the Mercedes brand as a whole.

Plus, Hamilton isn't the only one to make his intentions about his title ambitions clear, with team principle Toto Wolff vowing that Mercedes will get Lewis his 8th title. Wolff even went as far to claim that Lewis still has another four years in him which, if Fernando Alonso's resurgence is anything to go by, could yet prove correct.

When Hamilton decided to move from McLaren to a new team it proved to be one of the greatest decisions the in the history of sport. And that decision, despite push-back from those around him, was made entirely by Lewis alone.

And when all is said and done and a decision must be made, it is Lewis Hamilton who will once again be in the driving seat (pun intended).

Should he retire, he will do so as the most successful Formula One driver of all time. Should he continue, chances are he will only cement that fact.

[ashcoveredtraveler]

Dec-13-2023

So this is mostly for me than anyone else, but I am posting it as I know I will see it more often as I like looking at my posts. But if you would like to read, then read ahead.

Anyway during the majority of my activity Tumbler, I was studying abroad in Europe. I was looking at my posts and my 5th post, I was in Europe for a month at this point and I specifically remember this drawing as this was the first time I drew with color as I just recently bought watercolor Faber Castell and I didn't bring any of my art supplies to save some room(even though it didn't really help me as I am bringing back two tins of art stuff but whatever.)

Anyway, the point is that it is so weird looking through my posts this semester and realizing that the circumstances I was in when making these posts will never happen again.

And that was what I have been thinking these last weeks here. I won't be living in this particular co-living space ever again. I probably won't go to this country ever again unless I go to one of the anniversaries of the college I am in for the campus that is here. I probably won't drink legally at 19 again(as I am turning 20 somewhat soon and I won't be traveling within now and my birthday).

Now I am left with an almost packed room, ready to leave to go back home.

But I am happy with what I have done here. I have a couple more good friends, I finally figured out what major I may like to do (choosing between electrical or mechanical engineering), and I am more comfortable with creating stuff online-including an Au, which I am a bit surprised about as I am proceeding with my adult life and I still am in the mindset that fandom stuff is meant for middle and high schoolers.

Since things are changing, I am both nervous and excited. All of my friends are a year or two years older than me, so one of them is graduating at the end of the next semester, and the two others are graduating by the end of the next school year-leaving me. It doesn't help that I will probably be a super-senior as I was looking at the engineering major class requirements and I would need to take about 17 to 20 credit hours of classes every semester to graduate on time, and I am on my 3rd semester with an undeclared engineering major - but I may figure something with my adviser.

Obviously, I have my fic and now my AU. I try to work on them as quick as possible as I am afraid I would get uninterested in the fandom and stop working on it. Before getting fully invested in the Hollow Knight fandom, I was in the Skyrim/Elder Scrolls fandom and I was starting to write a few fics before getting into the HK fandom so I have about 30k of unfinished fics. Who knows, I may return to the fandom for a longer period to work on them again when Elder Scrolls VI comes out. But for now, I may just make short fics for ES.

That is my fear, starting something and just not finishing it. But I am glad with the work I have done and I will continue it as now there isn't a fandom looming over the horizon that will take my entire attention from HK (There is Rainworld though, but we'll see).

Anyways, kinda wanted to put this out there. I appreciate every like, comment, or whatever as I know at least someone is looking at my work. Since I will be traveling a bit more before heading back home, and I won't have service, posts may be scares for a bit but we will see. I hope you all have a wonderful day and stay safe!!

[gameside]

Why the hell did they think I was a troll?? Was that a democrat or republican, Because I can't tell but it could very well be either because both sides have some crazy fucking people. I don't even think what I want is that insane, But then again I haven't posted here since my mother finally stopped basically feeding me 24/7 insane propaganda like 'snake people' and shit.

I'm not even against abortion 100%, I just don't think the procedure should be a fucking thing outside of medical reasons!!! Medical reasons being the mother would die from the birth and a pill wouldn't take care of it. Abortion pills work for 15 weeks, AKA 3.5 fucking months!! Thats enough, Isn't it?? I can understand case by case using the procedure if pills aren't working, But gosh!

I'm not giving cops money and cheering them on in the streets, But I'm also not gonna tell them to fucking die!! Saying all cops are bad because there are a few that's corrupted is crazy! I've had cops save my life, I've had them traumatize me as well. Yes, Some are absolutely fucking insane and not ready to be a cop! We don't need to abolish police, (though I would REALLY prefer the alternative of ELECTING A SHERRIF and letting them have a DEPUTY and that be it, The Deputy giving others training to be public servant ect ect or whatever happens with deputies) We just need to give all police officers the same training military gets so they don't accidentally shoot, So they're ready for situations that would require being calm even if they're at gunpoint!! Give them a fucking mental evaluation!!

And don't get me fucking STARTED on school shootings. It could ALL be PREVENTED by giving teachers guns inside of a safe, In every classroom. Mental evaluations every WEEK for the teachers. School shootings are so common now, But when my dad was a kid they had shit like archery practice and he told me that in his entire time there no accidents happened!!! It got banned after some parents complained it 'could be dangerous.' Schools need way more fucking funding and put TRUSTED people as teachers. We need to give our schools the help we can since the fucking government isnt.

And I'm gay, You all know my fucking stance on that. I think being trans is a REAL thing that happens! I think some people would GENUINELY be happier as the other gender, But I think letting children, Who're EASILY INFLUENCED by EVERYTHING!!! I thought I was a fucking zombie because I loved zombie movies!! If I could've chosen I would've LOVED to be PERMANENTLY DISFIGURED to LOOK LIKE A ZOMBIE!! And I would've fucking regretted it later. My entire life I've gone by so many different names. 'Zack' in kindergarten through 2nd grade, And then in 3rd I tried to get everyone to call me 'Rose' And then, In 7th grade, For a while, I used my real name. Then in 9th I told people I was trans and to call me Mark. It's since been changed again, But I don't wanna give out my age, Grade or new name people could identify me irl with. I am biologically a woman (and don't plan on changing that, I just like guy names) and so many times in the past I would have JUMPED at the chance to do hormone therapy, WHICH MULTIPLE PEOPLE WHO'VE GONE ON SAY IS NOT REVERSABLE LIKE THEY SAY, Or to completely transition. The reason so many trans people kill themselves isn't from bullying, It's because so many people make a mistake and rush to cut it off or stitch it on and then realize they'll never be the same, Or they realize that it hurts horribly every day and theres no going back to how they used to be, Or they realize they weren't trans in the first place. Some people just like people someone else online, Being different characters, Or like being boys online and a girl in real life. That isn't them being trans, Its just liking a persona. I probably worded this one weirdly I'll just take asks about it and clarify anything that may have came off wrong

I am autistic and have ADHD, BPD and possibly schizophrenia, So I'm not ableist.

My older sister, Whom I grew up with and love dearly, Is black. I do not find my race superior to any others, So I'm not a racist.

My dad is the most important person in my life, And I want to be just like him, No daddy issues.

Mommy issues though, You got me there haha

I don't hate men, In fact so many times here I've stuck up for them. Equal rights, Equal fights. Equal rights ALSO means whatever a WOMAN does, It's okay for a MAN to do. Single fathers shouldnt get suspicious or dirty looks just for fucking existing with their child.

I don't hate women, I love women (literally I'm a lesbian). I think equal pay is fair if both genders are doing the same amount of work, So like. Basically I think more jobs should be 'You get paid per amount of work' and not 'fuck you guys even if he sleeps all day and does none of the work we pay him twice as much because he's been here long >:('

I have bitches, Usually a new one every week honestly (I start relationships fast, I'm 'pretty' for societies standards so it's easy to get more girls), But I'm settling down for now and I'm actually happy

I don't know why I'm still writing literally nobody asked okay bye

[jaijaitbinks]

A Long Collection of inessential Genos, Saitama, and GenoSai headcanons that gradually get more chaotic

Individual Headcanons:

Saitama has no connection with his parents whatsoever. He practically raised himself. And, as a result, he hasn't had much of a childhood, and he isn't as knowledgeable as he should be about certain subjects due to lack of role models to teach him (projection go brr)

Genos initially learned how to cook si he could provide for Kuseno whenever he stopped by, because he secretly always felt bad for being a "burden" and for distancing himself from the man for the first 1 1/2 years since becoming a cyborg. He and Kuseno spoke about his feelings, however, and now he just learns cuz he gets bored on his hunt for the Mad Cyborg sometimes.

Saitama used to have trichotillomania, and it was what he first thought caused his hair loss. Additionally, after about a month of having godly strength, he knows the exact reason why he lost his hair (and no, it was not his strength. Kinda.)

Genos simultaneously loves autumn and hates it. Loves it cuz pretty, hates it cuz overactive (and edgy teen) brain is reminded of dying almost every time the season comes.

Saitama has ADHD-PI (ADHD predominantly inattentive). He is also autistic, with auditory and vestibular stims.

Genos has ADHD-HI (ADHD hyperactive-impulsive). Like Saitama, he has autism as well, but he has visual stims (he likes to zoom in and out on stuff with his robo eyes)

Saitama sees himself as a person heavily leaning towards Masc., and he's only ever known to be a man, but if someone somehow thought/referred to him as a different gender, he wouldn't care. (To this day, he justifies it as him not caring enough about a small mistake like that)

Genos also does not give a fuck if you thought of/referred to him as a different gender. He's too concerned about the Mad Cyborg to care whenever it happens.

Saitama has two exes. A shitty one and a chill one. He doesn't talk to either of them, but he did see them on the same day sometime after Genos moved in.

Genos has a massive soft spot for symbolism, major and small things alike. Aka: give him symbolic flowers and he probably won't throw them away immediately.

Saitama bites his nails when he's anxious. His palms are very calloused, too, compared to the rest of his skin.

Genos likes ducks—specifically Plumed Whistling ducks. He just thinks the feathers are neat.

Saitama loves lykois ("werewolf cats"). He spent 4 years begging his mom to get him one when he found out they existed. It didn't work.

Genos specifically asked Kuseno to make his latest arm set black because Saitama had told him once that black suited him.

Saitama used to be a D&D (or OPM universe equivalent) nerd when he was a young teen. He dropped it cuz of high school bullies (teachers included)

Genos sense of humor is just anything bizarre and loud.

Saitama takes long showers because he likes being enveloped in hot water. (Aka: he's touch starved to the 3rd degree)

Genos considered having Kuseno change his hair brown when he was 15.

Saitama despises beaches. Apart from the views, he hates everything about them and will actually go on a passionate rant about them.

Genos knows how to drive. Saitama doesn't.

Saitama used to work as an actor for a haunted house when he was 17.

Genos went through a grunge phase when he was 15.

Saitama knows how to steal without being caught, but he never uses that knowledge.

Genos eats straight sugar sometimes.

Saitama used to collect rocks, sticks, and marbles. He still has a few of those, sitting in a duffel bag he has in his closet.

Genos once got a shitty sticker stuck on his arm and couldn't get rid of it for a full week.

Saitama, prior to meeting Genos, used to go dumpster diving for paint cans so he could put graffiti on abandoned buildings.

Genos picked a fight with a squirrel once in his late teen years for "disrespecting Dr. Kuseno's property"

Saitama once put a hole in the wall from headbanging to music (punk rock, specifically). He put a ban on himself to never listen to it in the house again.

Genos spent an entire day chasing down a dog that took off with his (broken off) arm.

Saitama got stuck in a strip club overnight twice. Both times he was drunk and woke up under the stages. He snuck out when the clubs opened up again.

Genos burned half of Kuseno's hair when he was first learning how to use his fire attacks. He felt bad and burned his own to make it even.

Saitama snuck into his school during the night just to get back his favorite pencil that he left in his locker. He somehow didn't get caught.

Genos, before he learned proper combat, he used to have a "grab whatever's close and throw it" type of style of fighting. More often than not, it was usually chairs and tables he threw.

[sunball]

WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR PERSON'S LIFE RIGHT NOW + A MESSAGE FROM THEM

𖦹 this reading includes what is going on in your person’s life right now, what they (or their higher self) want to say to you at this moment and songs they'd like to give you. this reading is more about your future spouse or your future partner, someone who you may not be in contact with but you're curious about what they're doing.

𖦹 so there will be two paragraphs for each pile (what your person is doing and what they want to say to you). you can choose more than one pile. ex: pile 1 for what your person is doing and pile 2 for the message.

𖦹 how does this work? close your eyes and take deep breaths, pick the pile you are most drawn to. If you aren’t drawn to any pile then that’s okay, these messages aren’t for you.

𖦹 take what resonates.

THE PILES

PILE 01

now playing:

now playing:

pile 01's songs

THEIR LIFE

hello pile 01, welcome to your reading. I'm getting a lot of fire energy here, especially leo. I'm hearing Leo in 1st and 10th house, aries in 8th house, aries mars, mars in 10th house and also Venus in 2nd and 3rd house. I'm also getting gemini and capricorn. capricorn mars, aquarius venus. If these aren't your placements then they're most likely your person's placements. or perhaps, those are their transits. I feel a lot of confident energy from your person, I think they are at a good place right now. Your person has been betrayed and heartbroken quite recently but I feel like they're not trying to let that get to them. they're keeping their head high, focusing on their goals and working really hard. the pain motivated them to work hard, maybe as a way to get revenge? In their head, they may think that if they work hard, they can show off their success to the person that broke them like "hey, look at me now!". for some others, it's possible that they're working really hard because the work distracts them from the pain and the situation. they're acting like the pain isn't affecting them, I'm seeing them just laughing and hanging out with a group of people (their friends?) acting like theyre not dealing with any problems. your person is definitely at a period of time where work is only on their mind, they're hungry for success. success is the only thing your person is heading towards, it's the only direction they see. love isn't on your person's mind at all so I doubt that you've crossed their mind. but little do they know, the direction that they're heading towards will also lead them to you. your person may have travelled somewhere recently or maybe they're thinking of travelling somewhere else. there is change on the horizon for your person, maybe they will be promoted soon or moving countries, going to university, etc. they are so ambitious. I'm seeing piles of paper on desks, papers stuck on walls with dates and notes on them and also quotes. motivational quotes perhaps. your person is also working out, they could be getting up quite early. 6 am? I'm getting mad mars in 6th house vibes from your person. they're feeling burnt out, they have so much on their plate but they're not stopping anytime soon because they like it and also because they have no choice. they're also taking many responsibilities, I'm hearing house chores, work and looking after their parents or siblings. your person could be a student, a business person or they could work in an office. they're organizing their workspace and keeping track of their schedule, getting ready for the next chapter of their life. laziness is not in your person's vocabulary!

THEIR MESSAGE

you know, I am so busy right now. I'm too exhausted to even think about love, to think about you. I don't think about it anymore unlike before. I know at times you feel like we're nowhere close and you doubt my existence because of how distant I feel and I'm sorry. It is partially true, we're nowhere close to eachother and we're both individual human beings. let's live in the present and experience things and meet new people without having to think about eachother. I don't feel right about thinking of the future and just hoping for something to happen, hoping to just end up with someone like you. It doesn't feel right. I need to do something, I need to take action. that's exactly what I'm doing now. It gives me a sense of stability knowing that I'm taking action and there's a high possibility of my dreams coming true. I've promised myself that I won't stop working until I've achieved everything. I can't do all of this by myself, I need your help too. I'm asking you a favour, do your part. I'm doing mine. work hard and don't slack off. I'm sorry again for sounding cold, I'm not like this on a daily basis. I'm just really tired. I need to get my point across. don't slack off. please. I'll keep saying that. oh, that reminds me. at times I will definitely sound like a teacher or a boss, it's just a habit I got from work. It's not my intention to make you feel stupid, I know you're smart. I wanted you to know that because I don't want you to think I'm generally a cold person. I'm not. when tarot readers or psychics or astrologers or whoever says that I'm cold, they only mean when I'm at work or when I'm busy or serious. I would never be like that to someone I love, especially you. truthfully speaking, you don't know much about me at all especially if you think I'm a cold person. that thought you have of me stops now. I'm guessing that you're curious about me now. I like to look neat and clean, I don't like bright colours, they look unprofessional. I hang out with my friends sometimes and we just have lunch at a café or a local restaurant. I'm on my computer a lot so my back always hurts but I'm doing exercises to help me with it. I have too many cookbooks that I don't use because I don’t have much time, I end up freestyling my food and cooking up some eggs. I need to get better at managing time. I don't like people that don't practice what they preach, it irritates me. now for my appearance. this, in no way is useful information that will help us in any way but I suppose I'll just tell you. I have a sharp nose, it's pointy and a little wide. I don't have any piercings. I don't have bangs. as for my eyes, they're brown and deep-set. my lips? they're just lips. you'll love them anyway so it doesn't matter. my hair? neat and brown. you'll love it too. that's enough. you can stop trying to get to know me now, leave that for when we meet. you can know me more yourself when the time comes, I like the process of getting to know someone and the effort someone puts into getting to know me. until then, keep working hard.

PILE 02

now playing:

pile 02's songs

THEIR LIFE

I’m getting cancer energy from the pile, also pisces and gemini and libra. I’m hearing cancer/pisces/ libra venus, venus in 5th/7th/12th house, pisces moon, mercury in 7th house, cancer in 2nd house, gemini rising. if these aren’t your placements then they’re most likely your person’s, if not then these may be their transits. right now I feel like your person is trying something new, especially a hobby. I’m getting ‘painting’ for some of you. for others, your person has started something new like a project or they moved to a new house, something like that. there’s this feeling of ‘newness’ in your person’s life right now. they have so much passion for whatever this ‘newness’ is. they’re excited for this change, they can’t wait to move to the next stage. I’m feeling a positive energy coming from your person. their creativity is flowing through their blood, they feel inspired and joyous. some of you may not like to hear this but your person may have gotten in a relationship with someone or they want to get into a relationship with someone. they have a crush. I feel like there’s still an important choice to be made and your person has waited such a long time for the next stage, the relationship stage. I feel like their crush or their partner isn’t showing them that much attention, it feels quite one sided (your person giving more), they’re doing so much for their crush/partner but I feel like your person isn’t seeing it right, they’re just so blinded. like a little kid when they have a crush. If you don’t like what you’re hearing, don’t worry, they’re your person for a reason. anyways for others of you, I’m seeing your person listening to music while they’re doing their new hobby. painting is coming really strong, I’m seeing an easel. If it’s not a hobby then your person is feeling in love, whether it be a person or something else. their head is in the clouds, they’re listening to love songs, feeling so inspired by everything around them. love and venus themes is really important in your person’s life right now. If you’ve been listening to love songs recently or if you just feel all lovey-dovey, it’s most likely because of your person, you’re connected to your person. or if you feel inspired out of nowhere, it’s probably because of your person too. I just felt like I had to let you know that. sooner or later though, your person will realise that the relationship is one sided and they will give up on it. this will hit your person really hard, it will be a hard lesson for them. perhaps even the last lesson because I feel like your person has always done too much for people that don’t deserve their love. your person has experienced a lot and learnt many lessons except for this, when they learn this though, they will have learnt all the lessons. they can tick this off their box. I’m getting such wise Pisces vibes from them. for lots of you, your person is already in the 'realisation' stage and there's about to be a change in their life.

THEIR MESSAGE

It’s been challenging these days, maybe even these past few weeks and maybe even months too. It’s fine though, I can get through it. you don’t have to worry about me. I have a gut feeling that something is going to happen soon, disappointments? I’m not surprised, I’ve been so stuck in my own head. I don’t know why I keep giving people more. so stupid of me. maybe it’s not my fault? maybe it’s their fault for giving less, who knows. I don’t know how to stop. why do I do this? I keep getting disappointed over and over again, I’m starting to not have hope anymore. despite this, I still think love is beautiful. with the right person. love is not only limited to romantic love though, which is what I’ve learnt recently. I’ve been so fixated on romantic relationships that I’ve forgotten about the beautiful things around me. surprisingly, there’s love everywhere. do you know what I love? I love the stars, I love flat white coffee, I love the smell of fresh grass, I love nature and the sun, I love dogs (especially small dogs) and I love experiences. experiences that shape me into a better person, painful or not, I love those. not to sound masochistic – but I love pain. I learn from pain. love has always been painful for me but I’m still giving people my all, wrong people to be precise. Is that why I keep falling for people that don’t care about me? because I love getting hurt? now that I’ve thought of it, it sounds terrible. I need to fix that. I feel embarrassed now that you know this, please don’t shake your head. I will fix it. I want this cycle to end. don’t be worried about me. you should continue living your life, there’s yet so much you can experience. places to go, new people to meet, new activities to do. so much. I’d love to experience so many things with you. do you like road trips? I’d love to go on a picnic date too, does stargazing sound good? we could travel around the world, that’s on my bucket list. so many ideas but there’s still so much distance and time between us. I feel excited thinking about it, I want to do so much right now and experience so many things. by the time we meet, I might already have a long white beard because I’ll be so wise *laughs*. who knows, white hair does look awesome. I think it might suit me actually. on a serious note, I want you to know that you should not be afraid to try new things. don't be afraid of change. regret is scarier than change, staying in the same place and not growing is scarier than change. you may lose something good but what if you gain something even better? I’ll be there for you every step of the way, I’m always there for you even though I’m not there with you physically. do you feel me? I’m so proud of you. If you see an opportunity, take it or you’ll regret it later. don’t be afraid of saying no or saying yes, you deserve to be heard, assert your dominance *laughs*. I love you, take care of yourself. you can do it. [:

PILE 03

now playing:

pile 03's songs

THEIR LIFE

I'm getting mutable and fixed energy here, especially scorpio, virgo, leo, sagittarius. maybe scorpio rising and sagittarius rising with pluto in 1st house. I'm hearing saturn in 8th house, saturn in 22°, scorpio sun or moon aspecting saturn, pluto and sun or moon sitting in the same house. if these aren't your placements then they're most likely your person's. these could be their transits too. your person is going through a transformation, something had recently happened in their life that has caused this transformation. I'm thinking it's death, a death of a loved one like a family member, a friend or a pet. someone close to them. If it's not a death of a loved one then it's a death of a cycle, a death of a job, a relationship, something like that. something that came to an end. it's affecting your person badly and they feel so much guilt. they're missing and mourning over whatever this is. they're pessimistic, they feel like the whole world is against them and that their would turned upside down. they have no hope anymore, they're not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm seeing that image of Yuu Otasaka from the anime Charlotte. I think your person is exactly like that right now. depressed. I see tissues, dark rooms and hoodies and blankets. also gaming for a number of you (interesting how the picture you chose is a picture of keys). they're going through it right now and they need support. your person is not communicating with many people or interacting with anyone at all, they're pushing people away. looking at the picture of the pile you chose, I realised it says "wish you were here". now this could mean that they wish that the person they lost were still with them or they wish that someone could come and support them or comfort them, or for a few amount of you, this could be meaning you. they wish you were there with them. however, I don't think love is a thought that comes in their mind in this period of time. it's more like, they're screaming into a void wishing someone could hear them, not directly meaning you. for others of you, I'm getting a different situation. your person may have gotten fired or they tried something but it didn't work out and they had so much hope for it. they badly wanted it to work out and now your person is feeling disappointed in themselves, like someone just ripped away something really valuable to them. your person doesn't know that the reason this, whatever this is, didn't work out is because it wasn't meant to. It's not part of their divine plan. It honestly saved your person from future problems but they don't know that. It's a blessing in disguise. I'm strongly feeling it's something related to their job or maybe love, 'right place, wrong time' is what I'm hearing. your person is blaming themselves for it all, thinking it was because of time, lack of planning or they didn't try hard enough. It isn't true, they should be easy on themselves.

THEIR MESSAGE

I don't know what to say. I don't feel like saying much. why do you want to know anyway? do you care? am I interesting? I'm not all that special, you know. here I go again, making sh*t sad. I'll try and make this light-hearted as possible because you shouldn't see this side of me, not so soon. not like this. *silence* I'll start off by saying that you can't control whatever life throws at you. but you can control your reactions and how you deal with it. I'm not doing very well, not dealing with it the way I usually do. It hit me hard and I don't like being sad like this and not doing anything, not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to talk to anyone, not finding joy in the things I love doing. I hate this f*cking feeling and the way I'm dealing with it. I heard that you should let yourself feel everything once in a while. I'm f*cking feeling everything alright. why did I not let myself feel before? now it's all consuming me. all of my problems and emotions, this darkness inside of me, erupting. I regret this. I regret acting like I was fine before, finding distractions. now I know that being distracted doesn't necessarily mean that it's gone, the problem is still there. don't do what I did. let yourself feel. or it will all build up and eat you alive. you don't want that. I don't want that. I don't want you to be sad, god no. definitely not like this. but if being sad will help you then that's certainly fine by me, just don't act like you're fine. that will hurt me much more. just do what I say. showing emotions is not a sign of weakness. look at me, I'm so f*cked up because of not thinking that. this feeling will go away, right? right. If you need to let it all out, do it. I can feel your sadness, the nights you cried, I felt them. those tears of yours, I want to wipe them away but I'm not there. it sucks. I need you here. I need a good f*cking hug right now. I want you to be happy but I don't know how. I'd do anything to see that smile of yours. that precious smile that I have yet to see. I know it's precious. listen to me. I need you. I need you to stay strong. you're so strong and much more emotionally intelligent than I am. I am so in awe. your strength gives me energy, you give me energy. you're the light of my life. I hope our kids will be as beautiful and as amazing as you. I'm glad I was given the chance to talk to you like this. I love you, sunshine.

[ryusei-nopulse]

hello, i was the anon for sending the leo request and that was so cute sobs 😭😭😭😭 and i have another request, but this time it's for izumi!! this can take place in their graduation ceremony where his s/o (gn of course) broke down crying, touched because the knights and them have been through a lot.

hope this make sense 🫶🫶

a moment of eternity [izumi sena]

notes hi again anon!! i'm glad that you liked it :D i.. have not finished requiem fully yet .. so i hope that this isn't too canon-divergent or short ^_^

description repayment fes has concluded, and you feel yourself overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions.

additional info ! era, gn reader, takes place during repayment fes, title is taken from this song, i once again had no idea how to end this >w>

graduation season... you've attended a few graduation ceremonies over the years, but none of them have felt quite as emotional for you as this year's repayment fes did.

knights in particular seemed to be struggling in the weeks leading up to the repayment fes. as someone who was close to all of the members, you did your best to help with what you could, but even then, you weren't exactly the most aware person out there of most of the issues related to passing down roles and graduation.

either way, requiem was.. successful. in the end, arashi was deemed the first-placer of the duel, but it was tsukasa that was ultimately the one chosen to succeed leo as the king of knights.

...now that you thought about it, so many things seemed to be changing from next year onwards, both inside and outside of knights. izumi and leo were going to work on their respective careers overseas, tsukasa was going to be the new king of knights, ritsu and arashi would be 3rd years already, not to mention how knights would most likely get new members... thinking back, you couldn't help but feel sentimental. you weren't a member of knights, no, but you've been beside them for so long that it felt like you've experienced a good amount of the highs and lows that the unit has gone through.

you felt the tears threatening to spill, but you swore to yourself that you wouldn't cry. no, not yet. graduation is a day to make memories, to cherish the company of your classmates that you most likely won't see for a while.

izumi seemed to notice the fact that you were holding your tears back. "hey, what's wrong? if you're gonna cry, do it now."

he was right, you knew that it would be pointless to hold your emotions back now. it would probably be one of the last times that you'd see everyone in knights together for a while, and you'd miss them, but also—

then came the tears. you tried to wipe them from your eyes, but to no avail. they seemed to never stop.

"ahh... things sure have changed, huh?" you sniffled. "everyone in knights..."

you paused, trying to wipe your tears. "they've all changed so much... this year has been—"

it was no use. the tears felt like they would never end. the emotions overwhelmed you like a tidal wave as you cried even more.

a few moments passed by before you felt a hand on your shoulder.

looking up through your tear-blurred vision, you met eyes with izumi. "...you're right. things have changed a lot this year, haven't they?"

silence fell over the two of you. through the windows, you could see the sunlight shining through, tinting the room in orange and pink.

you didn't want to ruin such a moment, but you felt a question weighing on your mind, one that you needed to get out into the open.

"hey, izumi." your tears had slowed down by now, reduced to sniffles. "do you think that knights will truly be alright now?"

"haah? of course we will. what kind of question is that?"

you paused. of course they would. knights clawed their way to the top after that scandal during spring. even after all that they've been through, from last year to this very moment, you knew that they'd be alright. they had to be alright.

"...just wondering," you shrugged, wiping the tears from your eyes.

"well, in any case..." izumi trailed off, trying to choose his words wisely. "i'm glad that i met you."

that certainly caught you off-guard. graduation was indeed a sentimental time, but to hear izumi sena of all people giving you a genuine confession of gratitude?

"huh..? really?" you asked.

"yeah. why wouldn't i be?" he questioned. "you've been by my side for years now, so it's only natural for me to thank you."

"ahh, i'm so grateful to have met you too, izumi!" you exclaimed, feeling the hot tears spill down your face. "i just... i love you so much!"

"h-hey, don't start crying again!" izumi responded. "we still have to meet up with the others!"

"...i can't help it! you all mean so much to me!" you sobbed into his uniform blazer.

...izumi couldn't deny it — he shared the sentiment. from the larger veteran unit of chess/othello/backgammon to knights... knights, both as a unit and as individuals, have been through a lot over the course of its history. of course he'd feel something towards his current unit mates.

"...hey, (name). look at me."

...perhaps, just this once... just for this singular moment, izumi will be up-front with his feelings, just for you.