#isaiah deserved better

[duusheen]

expendable

[tache-noire]

fucking embarrassing to be an amazing young high flyer tag team and have to not only slow down so jericho can keep up, but also pretend that he's anywhere near your level, that you're actually struggling to keep up with HIM.

[bromcommie]

not to be all bitter old man shaking his fist at the sky three years later but they really went “we’re gonna chop off all of bucky’s actual backstory along with his hair” in tfatws. something something distancing the character from previously established canon and the overwhelmingly strong fanlore that stemmed from it something something

[ginerva-mollyweasley]

“you have nothing to prove finn, you have nothing to prove”

FINN SHELBY → my top 50 fictional characters [50/50]

[sunshinereddie]

Haven't intruded in your inbox in a while, Hi!! How have you been?

I just wanna ask who's your favorite Loser? I'd say Mike because of your profile picture but everyone loves Mike so I wanna make sure!

HELLOOOO i've missed you !!!!! <3 <3 <3 i've been doing okay, life has been very busy and very demanding lately so ive been riding the strugglebus for a while but im trying to get through it :') how are you!!!!

okay so this might be a cop-out answer that you weren't looking for but my favourite loser is... all of them!!!! i don't think i could honestly choose a number 1 all time favourite loser, but i do go through cycles of having a current favourite!!

i'd say that right now im in the stanley phase of the cycle. he's just been on my mind a lot lately... i love him so much ;-; been thinking about a lot of stan hcs recently as well and also just thinking about canon stan as well!!! there was a post going around (i can't remember who op is :c ) with a bunch of stan moments from the book and it made me remember what a fun & funky lil guy stan is! also i am an andy bean enthusiast. but yeah i'd say AT THE MOMENT my fav is mr stan the man uris :))

[sheriffshots]

somethinf needs to be done about these freshmen

[leclerc-s]

paint the town red - part thirteen

TONY, PLEASE DON'T KILL YOUR FIRST DRIVER

series masterlist

"LECLERC I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON'T OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW-" tony was cut off by hurried steps. the steps came to a stop at the front of the door, bianca and charles stood silent, hoping it was cause tony to go away. they prayed to every deity out there that it wasn’t a paparazzi or a hotel staff member.

"what on earth are you doing?" pepper potts' voice is heard asking tony. the couple on the other side of the door let out a breath they didn't know they had been holding in.

bianca and charles turned to frantically find a way out of their current predicament. they were trying to figure out what on earth they're supposed to do next. charles turns to look at bianca, "what do we do?"

"how am i supposed to know? i've never been in this position before? do i sneak out the window? what do i do?" bianca frantically asked.

"do not sneak out the window," charles said, "we're thirty stories up!"

"i got kidnapped by obadiah stane when i was a kid. i can easily get to my room from here," bianca paused for a moment, "and we are way higher than thirty stories."

"we don't have time to unpack that right now," charles said, "am i potentially going to die right now?" bianca shrugged, "what do you mean you don't know?!"

"LECLERC! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! OPEN THE DOOR!" tony shouted again.

"tony, calm down," pepper pleaded.

"CALM DOWN?! MY DRIVER HAS BEEN DEFILING MY BABY! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO JUST CALM DOWN?!"

"ooh," a different voice is heard saying, probably harley, "you're dead tony," that had definitely been harley.

pepper is heard chuckling, "did you just yell at me?"

"no, i-" tony cuts himself off, "pepper, that- he- my baby."

"she is a grown woman anthony," pepper tells him.

"but he's a whore," tony rebutts, "my baby deserves better than that."

the door to charles hotel room opens, bianca and charles stand on the other side, both shocked. the ferrari team, tony, and pepper stand opposite of them. carlos looks close to tears from laughter, harley is holding him up, truly the only reason carlos hasn't collapsed. sebastian looks like he would rather be anywhere else then there, while isaiah looks constipated, but that could just be the hangover.

"i am not a whore," charles argues.

"anyone who dates my daughter is a whore unless proven otherwise," tony says nonchalantly, his gaze set on pepper. realization dawns on him, he slowly turns to look at charles, the monegasque freezes, "you."

tony launches himself at charles, before sebastian jumps to grab him, isaiah helping him. bianca pushes charles behind her, carlos and harley being no help. peter is simply watching the situation with wide eyes, while pepper rushes to pull her phone out, calling someone.

"dad," bianca begins, "think very wisely about what you're about to do."

"oh, i am thinking," tony says, "i'm thinking that i should be asking f.r.i.d.a.y. to bring my suit. i'm about to murder that- that- twink!"

"twink?" charles questions, cocking his head to the side, "what is a twink?"

harley snorts, "tony, you can't go around calling people twinks."

"sure i can!" tony argues, "he's a twink whore who defiled my baby!"

the sound of the elevator opening is heard, several footsteps come running down the hallway. the sight of tony being held back by sebastian and isaiah send bucky and sam into a fit of laughter. steve smacks both of their heads, causing them to calm down. with them are also yelena, natasha, and joaquin.

"great!" tony says spotting steve and bucky, "bucky, can i borrow your metal arm?"

bucky stares at tony, before staring back down at his arm, “i’m afraid to say yes. what are you going to do with it?”

tony turned to glare at charles, who is still partially hidden by bianca, “i’m about to pulverize a twink.”

sam quickly realizes what’s going on, “LECLERC! IT’S LECLERC?! OH I JUST LOST SO MUCH MONEY!”

joaquin laughs loudly, “I JUST WON SO MUCH MONEY!”

“i’m not giving you my arm so you can kill your 1st driver. i have been apart of enough murders against my will, ferrari’s golden boy will not be added to that list. i already have a president on that list.”

“you people have a so many issues,” isaiah muttered, before pausing, processing what bucky had said, "you killed a president?" bucky winked at him and isaiah began wondering which president it could’ve been.

“do you maybe think, you’re overreacting tony?” steve questioned, “it’s charles. you like charles.”

“i liked him better when he wasn’t sleeping with my daughter!” tony shouted.

“who said we’re sleeping together?!” bianca questioned.

“harry!”

“you two were in the same hotel room,” sam pointed out. bianca glared at him, “because we were drunk samuel! people who are dating take care of each other!”

“i would never do anything-” charles began but was cut off by pepper glaring at her husband, “since when do you believe a thing an osborn says?”

“this is not something that should be happening in the middle of a hotel hallway,” sebastian said, “maybe we could head inside?”

“yelena stop giving everyone a play by play! put the phone away!” natasha scolded as they headed inside charles’ hotel room. yelena scoffed, “the people deserve to know.”

suddenly the elevator dinged, alerting them to the presence of more people arriving soon. everyone froze, waiting to see who it would be. clint, alex, kate, lando, max, america, scott, and george all ran out of the elevator.

“don’t kill him!” lando pleaded, “he is but a man in love!”

“kill him,” max argued, “that puts him out of contention!”

“i can’t believe you would stoop so low verstappen,” kate muttered.

“oh shut up,” max argued, “you said you would enjoy watching charles get beat up by an old man pushing 70.”

“HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM?!” tony shouted.

“old enough to live through the great depression?” america tried.

everyone stifled their laughter as tony made a sound of disapproval. tony turned to glare at charles, “i know you’re not laughing twink.”

“stop calling him a twink!” harley scolded the older man. tony rolled his eyes. bianca smiled politely at her dad, tony shook his head, “don’t give me that smile.”

“dad,” bianca tried, tony cut her off, “a driver? you just had to date a driver? you couldn’t go for an engineer or something? what about isaiah? he’s a great guy!”

“dad,” bianca tried again, tony once again ignored his daughter, "i mean seriously, anyone would've been better than my driver! you couldn't have picked like oscar? or logan? hell, i would've settled for max."

"i have a girlfriend," max pointed out. tony waved him off too, "or you could've gone for fernando. maybe jenson? or mick? or even lewis!"

"i'm pregnant!" bianca shouted. the room fell silent, before it exploded into a flurry of words and emotions, "i'm actually not but no will listen to me!"

"i'm about to die and you're making jokes?!" charles questioned, running around the room, being chased by tony, "i'm going to kill that monegasque twink!"

"why is he calling him a twink?" america asked, no one answered her question, being to occupied with trying to separate tony and charles. tony, who was currently trying to smother charles with a pillow while charles was trying to carefully throw tony off of him. carlos and harley were still in a corner of the room laughing as tears streamed down their faces.

"ANTHONY EDWARD STARK!" pepper shouted, causing the room to fall silent again, the only sound being carlos and harley's giggles. pepper marched towards tony, prying him off of charles, "you will leave that boy alone, sit down, and listen to what your daughter has to say," she turned to look at the crowd in the room, "as for the rest of you, all of you will get out!"

the small army that had been gathered in charles' hotel room quickly ran out, all of them pushing each other to try and get out of the room faster. pepper approached charles and helped him stand up, she quietly led him out of the room as tony sat on the couch.

charles stopped at the door turning around to stare at bianca, before turning to look at pepper, "will she be okay? he won't- he won't hate her, will he? for being with me?"

"oh," pepper quickly realised, "oh no, he won't hate her. tony's just- he has a flair for the dramatic. when it comes to any of his children he's quite over protective," she led charles out of the room without him realising it, "you should've seen him when he found out peter was dating mj."

the father and daughter duo sat quietly, one on the bed and the other on the couch. tony finally turned to look at his daughter, "why him? i don't mean why a driver, why charles? you could have anyone els-"

"i don't want anyone else," bianca cut her father off, "i'm happy with charles."

"bianca, it's charles."

"that's exactly why i want him, because it's charles!" bianca shouted at her father, "the same charles who texts me good morning and good night every day. the same charles who has memorized my coffee order, no matter how complicated it is. the same charles who begs for just a few more minutes of enzo’s cuddles with a giant pout on his face. the same charles who’s been asking me for weeks to tell you about us because he thinks i'm ashamed of him!"

“so why didn’t you?”

“because once i tell you that makes it real and when things are real people get hurt. i don’t want to get hurt, not again.”

“oh tesoro,” tony softly said, rushing to hug his daughter. bianca wrapped her hands around her father, crying as she told her father, “i don’t want to get hurt again.”

they sat there for what felt like hours, but was only minutes, "are you ashamed of him?" tony whispered.

"no dad, i think i love him."

"you think or you know?" tony questioned, "because if you think i'll give him crap for the longest time but if you know, i might learn to accept it. of course, i will give crap sometimes."

bianca looked up at her dad, eyes wide, tears falling from her eyes. tony swore she looked so much like the little girl she once was. the same little girl who cried when she accidentally crushed a worm or who cried watching marley and me. bianca always wore her heart on her sleeve but this it was difficult what she felt.

"oh," bianca whispered, "oh. dad i love him."

"and what are you going to do about it?"

"buy him a dog."

"what?" tony asked, "why would you get him a dog?"

"that's not important dad!"

"okay fine, get him the dog."

"dad," bianca said grabbing her dad's face, "i'm in love, be happier for me!"

"i'm happy for you, but i will pulverize that twink if he ever hurts you."

when i get my hands on you, you're fucking dead osborn.

is that a threat stark? i don't think daddy dearest would love to learn through the media that you're threatening me.

oh i bet you would just love that. but i know how to make you disappear osborn, you're own father would never even question it. don't fucking contact my father ever again.

maybe i should show charles what a psychotic bitch you are

that's psychotic to you? personally i would think it's the giant purple space man who loved shiny rocks but to each their own 🤷🏻‍♂️ - charles

you're both insane and you deserve each other.

bisous 😘 - charles

daniel ricciardo is he still alive? or did he get killed by tony stark?

lando norris as much as kate would've loved to see that, he's still alive.

max verstappen well as far as we know. when we left the room and he was still alive.

daniel ricciardo YOU PEOPLE JUST LEFT HIM THERE??

daniel ricciardo HE COULD GET PULVERIZED BY IRON MAN?

alex albon not pulverized but he did get called twink repeatedly. oscar piastri charles got called twink by tony stark? lando norris it was honestly hilarious.

charles leclerc i lived bitches!

charles leclerc thanks for having fucking confidence in me.

charles leclerc i can still hear you laughing carlos.

carlos sainz the highlight of my career

carlos sainz this was better than winning my home race.

george russell okay as hilarious as it was it wasn't that funny. carlos sainz george you don't get to have an opinion. shut up.

max verstappen it was pretty funny.

charles leclerc I ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF IRON MAN!! STOP MAKING FUN OF ME ASSHOLES!

alex albon okay, twink, shut up. it was hilarious.

logan sargeant imagine getting beat up by a man in a coca cola suit.

lando norris why the hell does he get to make fun of the avengers?

logan sargeant I'M AMERICAN BITCHES!!

logan sargeant except for natasha and wanda. i'm actually terrified of them. and nick fury. they are very scary.

oscar piastri he gets special privileges because he's american.

daniel ricciardo i think the avengers might cry when logan gets a podium.

logan sargeant you bitches wish you could be supported by the avengers.

tony stark ALL OF YOU KNEW AND YOU SAID NOTHING??!!

peter parker i didn't know.

harley keener okay, in my defense, she said she would take my lab privileges away and you know how sacred those are to me.

isaiah atkins i just wanted to know how far those two would take it. same goes for seb.

carlos sainz it was funny to watch them scramble each times someone asked who they were dating.

ollie bearman harley kept dropping hints and i put the piece together

arthur leclerc i wanted to see my brother get pulverized by iron man.

sebastian vettel you told me, and i quote, ‘i don’t need her to tell me who it is, i’ll figure it out on my own. i’m a genius like that.’ so i didn’t tell you.

sebastian vettel you can only blame yourself for this anthony.

tony stark STOP! I CAN'T BE BLAMED FOR THIS SEBASTIAN!!

charles leclerc is this a safe space?

tony stark go away you twink.

isaiah atkins tony, you can't call him a twink.

tony stark i can in private. in public it's a different matter.

charles leclerc listen. i can deal with him calling me a twink.

bianca stark-potts father you will be nice to him or so help me i will tell mom.

ollie bearman does this make me their child??

arthur leclerc tony's going to kill him now because he's a grandpa.

harley keener tony, there had to be a reason enzo loved him so much.

tony stark I AM A GENIUS HOW THE HELL DID I NOT PUT THE PUZZLE PICES TOGETHER?

sebastian vettel clearly you're not as smart as you thought you were.

tony stark i can still fire you sebastian.

isaiah atkins do you know how many italians and tifosi you would piss off if that were to happen?

carlos sainz i'd quit.

charles leclerc so would i.

tony stark i could care less about you charles. bianca stark-potts dad. tony stark i mean, oh no charles, what would i do if my 1st driver left the team?

isaiah atkins i should've gone to mercedes when i had the chance.

peter parker I KNEW YOU WERE A BLOODY TRAITOR! YOU WOULD WORK FOR TORGER INSTEAD OF US?

isaiah atkins THIS PLACE IS HELL! T

isaiah atkins HE OWNER IS CONSTANTLY CALLING HIS 1ST DRIVER A TWINK! CARLOS IS ALWAYS FLIRTING WITH DEATH (NATASHA)

isaiah atkins AND CHARLES IS DATING BIANCA (SAID OWNER'S DAUGHTER)

isaiah atkins THIS IS HELL FOR ANY PR MANAGER!

joaquin torres PAY THE FUCK UP BITCHES!! I WAS SO RIGHT!!

sam wilson of course she had to go for the silly little monegasque man.

sam wilson YOU COULDN'T GO FOR THE AMERICAN OR A BRIT??

clint barton SHE'S DATING CHARLES?? WHY NOT FERNANDO??

queen shuri and how exactly did you people figure it out?

america chavez osborn told tony, who caused a scene at the hotel.

tony stark i did not cause a scene...

harley keener you called him a twink repeatedly. and threatened to bust out the suit to pulverize him.

scott lang honestly the signs were all there, it's on us if we didn't put them together.

bucky barnes the best part was when bianca nearly gave tony a heart attack by declaring that she was pregnant

tony stark that was not funny barnes

bianca stark-potts oh but the look on your face was hilarious.

america chavez i got excited i thought i was going to be a godmother.

wanda maximoff if anything i would be godmother.

peter parker well who gets to be godfather. it's me right?

kate bishop they have children what are you people talking about?

tony stark WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT BISHOP?

yelena belova she is clearly talking about enzo and oliver. they are bianca and charles children.

harley keener funny, ollie said the same thing earlier.

bianca stark-potts add anthony jr to the list.

joaquin torres wait, are you actually pregnant?

bianca stark-potts look it's anthony jr!

tony stark what kind of ugly rat is that?

natasha romanoff aww he's adorable. is he for charles?

peter parker should i be getting my girlfriend a dog?

wanda maximoff she's an mit college student living on campus. a dog is not a good idea. peter parker oh, maybe a snake or spider is a a better idea. carol danvers do we need to remind you of what happened the last time you were near a spider?

cassie lang OH CAN I GET A DOG??

hope van dyne NO! scott lang no freakin' way. cassie lang booo!!

harley keener please tell me you were able to convince charles to name the dog anthony jr.

bianca stark-potts i haven't given the puppy to him yet, but i will try my hardest to get him to name the puppy anthony jr just to piss off my dad.

tony stark this is why i'll never like your boyfriend

steve rogers he's leading the championship and he is part of the reason why ferrari is constructor's champion. cut the guy some slack.

yelena belova so who won the bet?

wanda maximoff joaquin.

joaquin torres ALL OF YOU THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY! BUT I WAS FUCKING RIGHT!!

sam wilson he's never going to let this go. ever.

bucky barnes oh good. and i have a mission with him next week. i'm going to suffer.

america chavez i just don't think it's unfair that i wasn't allowed to bet

riri williams you knew who it was! america chavez i still would've loved to win some money riri!

stephen strange this. this is my personal hell.

may parker so tony finally figured out who bianca was dating?

tony stark WAS THERE ANYONE WHO DIDN'T KNOW?!?!?!

happy hogan i didn't know james rhodes i didn't think she was dating charles. i was confident it was lando. peter parker i also didn't know.

may parker what gave it away was the monaco post.

tony stark HOW THE FUCK DID I NOT SEE IT COMING??

pepper potts tony, he's exactly her type. i don't know how you didn't see this coming from the start. tony stark I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD HAPPEN!

bianca stark-potts dad, you said you would stop being so dramatic.

tony stark i said i wouldn't give charles anymore shit. i never agreed to stop being dramatic.

tony stark my oldest daughter is dating a driver. i'm allowed to be dramatic.

harley keener that was the highlight of my day. best choice i've ever made working for ferrari.

harley keener i've never seen tony turn that shade of red. it was glorious.

tony stark i'm telling nebula.

bianca stark-potts YOU ARE NOT TELLING YOU ASSASIN ALIEN DAUGHTER ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND! IT'S BAD ENOUGH NAT AND WANDA BROKE INTO HIS APARTMENT tony stark NATASHA KNEW BEFORE ME? THAT'S BETRAYAL BIANCA!

tony stark i can be a dick to him all i want and no one can complain.

pepper potts anthony stark, you will be nice to that boy or so help me.

pepper potts he's a good kid and it could literally be worse. so please. shut up about it already.

tony stark but pepper

pepper potts anthony, that boy was terrified you would be upset with bianca for dating him. as i said, he's a good kid, stop worrying.

may parker well, i managed to get time off for texas so i expect to meet the boy there.

james rhodes pepper's right, it could be worse, she could be back with harry.

happy hogan you do realize this is the exact reason she never told you.

tony stark all of you are against me.

bianca stark-potts you're so dramatic dad. this is why i didn't tell you in the first place.

i may have done something rash and i need your help.

once, again. i am not helping you hide harry's body if you've killed him. i wouldn't survive in jail.

he's still alive.

unfortunately.

okay, so what did you do? and does it involve anything illegal?

why do you automatically assume i did something illegal? i can do things legally!

well did you do something illegal? also, i’ve met harley

well between us harley is the idiot not me. he’s the one who decided it was a genius idea to send peter after the former us president.

bianca, what did you do?

i got another dog. he's so little that i'm afraid enzo might crush him.

mon chou, he's adorable but what does that have to do with me?

do you want him? if you can't then i'll give him to someone else or even morgan.

she's been asking dad for a dog. apparently the llamas aren't enough for her. it also doesn't help that kate has pizza dog.

kate named her dog pizza dog?

his name is lucky but he loves pizza so we call him pizza dog.

CAN I HAVE HIM?

okay, here's the truth, he was originally he was for you but i chickened out so i told you a lie.

oh mon dieu. i get a puppy??

oh i could seriously tell you i love you right about now.

do it.

i dare you.

i will. i swear.

liked by biancastark_potts, michellejones, cassie_lang and others

charles_leclerc the best present i could ever receive.

view all comments

username now who gave you that dog mr.eclair?

↳ username i think the better question is who's hand is that mr. eclair?

username HE'S A DOG DAD GUYS!!

maxverstappen1 cats are still better. make sure your girlfriend knows that.

↳ charles_leclerc she wants me to let you know that you're wrong. she's ready to fight you.

↳ maxverstappen1 tell her we'll settle this on the track in baku.

↳ harleykeener LMFAO!! YOU'RE GONNA LOSE VERSTAPPEN!! YOU SHOULD BE USED TO THAT BY NOW!!

username oh how cute ����

username charles leclerc becoming a dog dad in 2024 was not on my bingo card but it is so fucking adorable.

harryosborn hmm. seems familiar

↳ biancastark_potts i will fucking drop kick you osborn.

↳ peterparker i will tie you to the red bull garage. i learned that threat from isaiah!

↳ harleykeener i will send the cavalry after you bitch. fuck off.

cassie_lang oh do tell what is the adorable pooch's name.

↳ charles_leclerc undecided, it's all depending on how much i want to live.

↳ tonystark leclerc i swear to god.

landonorris you win the constructors championship and your girlfriend gets you a dog. it's not fair, i want a dog.

↳ alex_albon then go adopt one lando

↳ landonorris it's not the same alex.

michellejones i've been informed of what the calvary planned. i vote you name him leo anthony, to upset tony.

↳ charles_leclerc it's not like he can kill me without being the main suspect. leo anthony it is.

↳ joaquintorres THE CALVARY WINS!

↳ tonystark if charles goes missing, it wasn't me.

↳ pepperpotts anthony. behave.

↳ tonystark yes ma'am

series taglist: @burningcupcakefire @spilled-coffee-cup @evans-dejong @elliegrey2803 @bingewatche @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @lorarri @ironspdy @mypage-myfandoms @be-your-coffee-pot @vellicora @enchantedthoughts @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @six-call @embrosegraves @justtprachisblog @bionic-donut @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @cool-ultra-nerd @kami10471633 @int3rnetgf @fernandoswarcrimes @skynel09 @arieltwvdtohamflash @brekkers-whore @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @chiliwhore @nothaqks @nataliambc @prongsvault @georgeparisole @kailyn-g05 @bella-1 @butterfly-lover @emilyval1 @winchesterwife27 @namgification @octopussesarecool @jensonsonlybutton

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¡leclerc-s speaks! i love just randomly throwing in taylor swift references.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[alwaysrememberjesus]

He Shall Reign

Isaiah 9:6-7

You’ll recall the 400 years of desperate waiting the Israelites went through; they were expecting a King who could be a prominent political figure to deliver them from captivity. They instead received a King in the most humble of forms: a child.

There is nothing more dependent or helpless than a child. In retrospect, the Messiah could have made his entrance to the world as a full-grown man, but that would have taken away so much of the wonder and awe that comes with Advent. We acknowledge that He is fully God, but in order for Him to be fully man, He had to come down in complete humility. As Philippians 2:7 says, “rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.” Additionally, if Jesus hadn’t been fully man, He would not have been able to stand in the place of sinful man and take on the punishment that man deserves. When we see it from this perspective, we further understand how perfect and intentional God’s plan was. Even better, 2,000+ years later, we still get to be a part of that story!

Today, though His physical body isn’t on earth with us right now, our Prince of Peace is still working to accomplish what He started. In Ephesians 2:16-17, it says that Christ came to “reconcile [Jews and Gentiles] to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near.” We will get to experience that unity and peace in its absolute fullness when we meet Him face to face - what a day of rejoicing that will be! But in the meantime, we rejoice in the good news that God’s peace is simultaneously universal and personal to each and every one of us. We live our lives in a posture of worship and wonder. And we hold fast to this sweet truth: that He Shall Reign, forever and ever.

[thesupreme316]

Hey👋. I know it’s have been a short time since my last request. Life has been a little tough for me lately but I’ve returned.

So I was thinking of some platonic AEW wrestlers helping the fem!reader ( a young fan maybe like 16-18 even 19 possibly) with a panic attack (claustrophobia) at a meet and greet.

The wrestler(s) could be either;

a commonly loved character that is a softie with fans( The Bucks, Cody, Jeff Hardy, Skye Blue, Danhansen)

a rougher wrestler that stays in character with fans but once sees the reader, they break( MJF, Mox, Eddie Kington)

the wrestlers that are on the younger(ish)side( Top flight, HOOK, Isaiah Kassidy)

or the older wrestlers( Chris Jericho, Billy Gunn, Sting, Taz)

Sincerely, sorry for such a long request

Ps. I love how you wrote my requests. Much Love🫶🏻🫶🏻

Hi sweetheart, I hope everything is going better for you. (and don't you dare apologize for your ideas)

AEW Stars React To You: Having a Panic Attack

Pairings: Jeff Hardy X Fem!Reader (Platonic), Eddie Kingston X Fem!Reader (Platonic), Hook X Fem!Reader (Platonic), Dante Martin X Fem!Reader (Platonic), Darius Martin X Fem!Reader (Platonic), Sting X Fem!Reader (Platonic)

Warnings: mentions of claustrophobia, mentions of panic attacks, slightly proofread

Supreme Speaks: Thank you to @hookerforhook for requesting and again I hope life is treating you much better as you deserve the best things. As always, my inbox and requests is open for everyone. If anyone needs to talk or just need someone to listen, my dms are open. P.S you are loved and greatly appreciated.

Word Count: 952

Taglist: @wwenhlimagines @triscillal @sheinthatfandom @hooks-martin @hookerforhook @eddie-kingstons-wifey

Backstory:

You were waiting in line to meet your favorite wrestler, as everyone was. But it was really special for you as it was your first time going to a live wrestling event. AEW was hosting a meet and greet before Dynamite and you were fortunate that it was in your town and you saved enough money to go.

This wrestler meant a lot to you; they helped you during a rough time, motivated you, and inspired you to do better in your life every day.

While waiting you’re waiting in line, you started to get sweaty palms and immediately started to guard yourself; you’re breath started to stagger and you started to hyperventilate.

Most people would think it’s because you’re really excited. But it was because you were claustrophobic, you couldn’t stand crowds, and you actually hated and dreaded them.

People started pushing you around, meshing you against other people in line. Soon, it began to feel like walls were being built around you and they were cutting off your oxygen.

As you were hyperventilating, your chest started to swell with tightness as you began to shake. But soon…a figure, that you thought you would never meet, saved you…

The commonly loved character that is a softie with fans…Jeff Hardy:

This man would jump into action and ask the crowd to give you some space

Would immediately give you space while also checking on you

“Darling, are you okay?” (MY MAN WITH THE CAROLINIAN ACCENT)

Would give you water and wait until you stated your name before getting close to you

You were able to skip the line as Jeff really wanted to make sure you were okay

Wants to distract you so he’s rambling about anything and everything

“When I’m up on the top rope, it feels like I’m so free and gone with the wind”

Will constantly ask if you’re feeling alright

After you’re okay, you talk to him about how he’s impacted your life as he signs your picture

He smiles at you and takes a picture with you

Afterward, he would give you a backstage pass, so you have all the space you need to watch the show

The rougher wrestler that stays in character with fans but once sees the reader, they break…Eddie Kingston:

It has been said by Eddie himself that he suffers from panic attacks so I think he would take your situation very seriously

Would immediately yell at the line to disperse as you fell to the ground, going straight into an attack

He would jump down and use some methods that helped him through panic attacks

This would include naming 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, etc.

Will be completely transparent with you as he is with everyone “You’re okay. Everything is okay. Those idiots don’t understand personal space.”

Will have a heart-to-heart with you about panic attacks (I feel like ya’ll will get so into the conversation that it would feel like y’all just knew each other for years)

“What medicine do you take?….Oh, that doesn’t work for shit…I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME!”

Like Jeff, Eddie will distract you with stories about who he has beef with (also to let out his frustrations)

His heart would grow after hearing how much of an impact he has made on your life

Eddie would definitely have a conversation with whoever didn’t monitor the capacity

The wrestlers that are on the younger(ish)side…Hook, Dante and Darius Martin (3/4ths of The Lads):

Okay, I hope this doesn’t sound bad but I feel like they would freak out first…well at least

But only because they wouldn’t know how how to help

Hook would be kind of frozen to help at first

All of them would ask you yes or no questions to try not to overwhelm you

They would quickly give you water and instruct you to take deep breaths

Darius: You’re doing great

Dante: Do you need more water?

Hook: Here's more chips. hands you a whole unopened bag

Top Flight would try to distract you with music, giving you recommendations

Wants you to stay near their table so they check on you throughout the invite

“We are friends now”

(Call me trying to give you a Y/N moment) But I really do feel like they would become genuine friends with you

I also think they would look up more resources on how to help you and others who might have panic attacks

The veteran wrestler…Sting (his might be short, sorry):

Sting is an understanding and supportive grandpa and I refuse to elaborate

Anyways, would definitely pull you to a corner (to give you space) and shut down his booth for a little bit

I feel like he would use the RAIN method to help you calm down and have you take deep breaths

“It’s okay kid. It happens to most of us.”

After you’re feeling better, he would take pictures with you, give you a long letter of encouraging words

I feel like even after you leave the booth, he would still check up on you and keep an eye on you

Like Jeff, he would also give you a backstage path

Would definitely post something on Twitter about giving people a respectable amount of space and not shoving when at meet and greets

You would forever live in his mind and he would constantly hope that you’re safe

[writing-whump]

Okay okay hear me out: matthew getting hurt but he's essentially feeling super isolated and worthless and he doesn't want to bother zaya or seline, doesn't think he should bother anyone tbh. He's also not stupid and while he doesn't know Isaiah/seline are together, he can see something shifted there. Hidden injury escalates to infection and then u know the drill, he ends up feverishly arguing with one of the two or both and then collapsing mid argument, cue much panic and guilt. Wdyt??? 👀👀😅

Ohhh Soup, that is one amazing idea 👀 let's see, let's see! A very delicious prompt, thank you! Had to write it right away.

Hidden injury

The injury wasn't healing.

Matthew didn't know why exactly it wasn't. Most of the time he spend his days tired, and he was very tired that evening from sparring at the gym. And he so happened upon a bunch of wolves.

Kids really. Overconfident and provocative, thinking they could take an older wolf like him.

It was so satisfying to put someone's teeth in the dirt when they deserved it. The adrenaline and then the win overflooded him with sparks of temporary joy and triumph as he dusted himself off, his shadow was eager and happy.

Unfortunately, there were problems that couldn't be solved that easily. Whatever the thing it was at home - this punishment of sorts Seline made - it was way worse. And he couldn't fight his way out of it.

He made preventative measures. He worked on his temper much much more. Isaiah said he saw the improvement. What else did she want?

It was his fault, though. Fear he enjoyed, when it came from annoying people, other wolves or his enemies. A natural thing, really. But he didn't want to feel it from her. Complete and utter betrayal, that's what it was. How could she believe he would hurt her? He wouldn't hurt her even if she did try to fight him. His shadow just jumped up with the emotion and the instinct and...

Yep, it reacted even now, swelling angrily at the memory. But it wasn't her he was fighting, for hell's sake.

Matthew kind of relied Isaiah would talk some sense into her, make it easier. Persuade her to give him a chance to make it up and move on from this.

And something did happen. He felt it did, because from one night to the next, Isaiah was allowed up to the second floor and came down with her smell all over him from then on. They didn't do anything when he was there, and he didn't dare to ask, but something major did occur under that roof.

And not only was he not allowed to know, he couldn't even tease his best friend about making a move or laugh at his only girl friend for finally getting the guy.

This was stupid. It shouldn't be upsetting him so much, but it did and he wondered why the hell he even bothered with people in the first place. Easier to just be alone.

You had no one to disappoint that way.

Matthew headed home, his legs dragging behind feeling like lead.

His side burned. He got clawed there pretty well with one of the shadow claws of the busier kids. It was a small thing, the injury, but bleeding horribly when he put his torn up shirt up and it hurt.

The first sweeping of his shadow took the blood away, though the injury was still visible, open, red and puckered. It didn't heal all the way. Weird.

His shadow was tired, but he figured if he just waited for a few hours he would have enough energy to try again. It wasn't bleeding, it wasn't smelling, it was fine. He threw the torn up shirt away, glad he shook off his pullover down for the fight and saved it from the blood stains.

Maybe he should ask Isaiah if it was normal. Shadows wouldn't heal things, when they were tired, or when it was a serious several weeks to heal thing, or when it wasn't acute but more long-term running or chronic...was there something he was missing?

Isaiah would know. Matthew also didn't feel like asking.

If Isaiah stopped pretending like he was neutral in this tug war of wills, it would be much better. If he wanted to side with Seline and leave him alone to it, who was he to complain?

They were doing him a big favour by giving him a chance in the first place.

He didn't want them to regret anything else they had given him.

Matthew was very happy for the elevator in the building. Usually he could take the stairs, since running them up was great exercise for free, but today he felt dead on his feet.

He found the way to their door almost blindly, opening the door with his shoulder. Grunting a hi was about all the manners they showed each other these days. Why did they even bother?

Was there even a way to escape their rejection? The whole apartment radiated it. From the shut off light in the kitchen, the empty couches in front of the TV, the quiet nonchalant movement behind Seline's closed doors on the upper floor...

Matthew threw his back by the door at their shared room, finding Isaiah on his bed with a laptop in his lap.

"Hey, Matt. You are late," Isaiah said in a friendly voice, observing him.

Matthew rolled his eyes. As if he cared when he was coming home. That time was long over.

He shut the door behind him loudly and the shuffled over to his own bed.

He didn't feel like changing. He didn't feel like saying anything. His side burned, his insides burned, his head was heavy and about to fall from his shoulders and his muscles were screaming with the strain of the day's exercise. Sleep was the only escape that didn't involve anyone dying.

He vaguely registered Isaiah asking him how his day went. Matthew ignored him, threw himself on the bed, wincing inwardly at the pain that flared at the sudden movement and curled up on his side.

Maybe he should have taken some painkillers. Then again, he didn't have any. All painkillers and first aid kits in this house belonged to Seline or Isaiah. They pooled their resources and fields of expertise to the apartment, willing to share, forgetting how to divide things when the sharing wasn't an option anymore.

He didn't want to think about how this was the first time after some time that he actually had people to ask for help and simply couldn't make himself.

Things were so much easier when he was alone.

The oblivion of sleep took him quickly though, saving him from anymore painful thoughts.

***

Matthew woke up to the darkness of the empty room. He could hear muffled voices coming from the living room.

They they actually have a movie night without him now? There was a faint sound of Isaiah saying something and Seline laughing in response.

Oh. Good for them.

Matthew didn't think it was possible, but he actually felt worse than before. While the groginess helped him forget, his side was on fucking hellfire, eating him from the inside.

He pushed himself up on his arms, turning the nightstand lamp on. Forcing himself up into a sitting position was torture. His muscles contracted painfully around his side and his arms were shaking as he attempted to throw his legs over the edge of the bed. One. Two. Slow and painful.

The effort left him light-headed and clenching his teeth to not scream. What the hell was wrong with him?

He grunted, bowing his head against the onslaught of light. His pullover was sticking to him with sweat and he was uncomfortably warm. Was it the rest of the exercise? Should he go shower?

Even tensing up to consider standing felt like a fight not worth the effort.

Matthew slumped back against the bed, giving up. His shadow wasn't even stirring, so he must have still been tired. Best thing to just go back to sleep.

***

"'-thew? Matthew? Hey man, wake up."

Isaiah was shaking his shoulder, jostling him. Matthew grunted in discomfort, turning away from him.

"Come on, man. You slept in, I think. It's already past 9."

Was it? Why was that even relevant? His side burned, his head was stuffed with wool. He just wanted to sleep.

"Don't you have classes today?"

Matthew swatted Isaiah's hand away. He didn't care about classes, he wanted sleep.

"Okay. I think it's good to take a break once in a while. You have been pushing yourself like crazy."

Matthew didn't like that patronizing tone. Isaiah, fucking Wolfson, always sounding so superior to everyone. Always doing everything perfectly, always in control.

"Come at least have breakfast with us. We never get to do that when you leave so early."

Matthew just pulled the blanket over his head in response.

Isaiah sighed, patted his shoulder and left. The door closed softly behind him.

***

His bladder was about to explode. Matthew was irritated his body wouldn't stop annoying him with such annoying mundane concerns when he was in pain and wanted to sleep.

He shuffled out of the bedroom slowly, feeling dazed and out of it. Everything hurt, but that seemed like a normal state at this point, constant discomfort, the feeling og boiling in his own skin, the pulsating pain in his side...

He had to hold on to the wall several times to not fall down. His limbs weighed a ton, each step a struggle against gravity.

Finishing in the bathroom and half-heartedly washing his hands, he tried to wash his face too only to get dizzy over the sink. He caught himself just barely, only to spend the next few minutes dry heaving over it. Why was it so hot here?

What time was it? What day? Everything was so confusing.

Leaning heavily against the door, he started the slow torturous walk back to his bed.

"Matthew? Seriously, why are you sleeping so much?" Seline's voice was like an arrow, sharp and painful against the fog in his head.

"You know, I can't make you come to eat with us or watch a movie. If you want to be hauled in your room, be my guest. But you could at least get your shoes into the cupboard. How many times do I have to ask?"

He blinked, trying to locate the source of her voice. Ah, there she was, hands on her hips, staning in the entry hall.

"How am I supposed to vacuum this place with your sneakers always in the way? You forgot to do the grocery shopping yesterday, you know? Isaiah made food, I'm cleaning and you not only don't hold your part of the deal, you have to make my part harder." She talked in a calm tone, but the critic was obvious.

He focused his eyes on her, slumping against the wall next to the bathroom. "That's just great," he grumbled.

"What did you say? I didn't hear you."

"It's just great," he cleared his throat, "that the first thing you decide to talk to me about in weeks is this. Just fucking awesome."

Seline's eyebrows shot up. "Oh? I'm the one who isn't talking? Not like you bother to ask me anything. You refuse to give any effort. Why do I always have to do everything here? If only one person is trying-"

That angered him enough to straighten up. "I am not trying? I'm doing my best here; it's you who isn't trying." He coughed against his hand, feeling light-headed again. "I trained. I asked Isaiah to test me. I doubled my sparring rounds. I have done everything I could think of. You gave up."

Seline frowned, taking a breath to speak. Matthew couldn't register what she said next. Her mouth was moving, but there were two Selines speaking now and his vision was blurry at the edges.

Matthew's head was pounding. The little energy the anger got him flew out of him just as quickly. His side burned again, stretched by the motion of simply standing. He groaned, doubling over, hands shooting up to cradle the skin around the pain.

"Matthew?"

He coughed. His throat felt tight and he felt his stomach sloshing and turning. The skin around his abdomen was tender and swollen, warm to the touch. He tried reaching for his shadow, but it stirred in protest, slipping out of his hands.

He was so tired. Why couldn't he just go back to bed?

Something warm rushed up his throat with the next cough, spraying between his feet. He blinked at the pool of watery vomit in confusion.

Then his legs gave out.

His pants immediately soaked up the mess, but he had no time to worry about it as another wave of puke found its way out of him. The movement was completely involuntary. He didn't see it coming. He didn't understand. Everything was so confusing.

Maybe that was good he didn't heave. He didn't have the energy for it, just coughing up small mouthfuls of bile and water and foul-smelling liquid.

Seline was closer now. She was kneeling beside him, talking quickly into her phone. Then she reached for him, cupping his cheeks in cold hands. He winced at the contact.

Her hands went over him frantically, pulling against the pullover on his side. Matthew tried to stop her, but she squeezed his hands and then continued. He let her.

When she brushed her cold fingers against his side, he moaned in pain, trashing around. Cold lips touched his forehead and pressed against it for a long time, grounding him. Everything was too hot, too painful and he was shivering. Something smelled really awful.

His vision came and went for a while in a hurrying mess and chaos. His head somehow ended in Seline's lap. He wanted to ask her if she forgave him now that she was touching him again. She didn't seem to register him and he had no energy to formulate the words.

Then Isaiah was there, fingers on his nape, gripping his shoulder tightly. He was repeating his name, over and over. Matthew blinked at him. Yeah, I know that's my name, what do you want? Just let me sleep.

***

The next time he woke up, he was in bed. A clean shirt, a damp cloth on his forehead.

The first thing he truly registered was the absence of pain. He was still tired, still confused, but the sheer relief that the pain from his side was gone left him breathing deeply for a few minutes. This is how beautiful it felt, not to be in pain? He should relish it more.

Matthew reached with his hand towards his side. Under his shirt, he could feel bandages.

"No, don't touch it," a voice near his head said.

Matthew let his hands go limp, turning his face towards the voice. Isaiah sat on a chair next to him, elbows braced on the bed. His green eyes looked strained and shadowed, like someone painted bruises under them, but there was something relieved in his face.

"Your wound was infected. Your shadow was hurt and didn't heal it all the way. It was deep and open and you didn't clean it when you came home. That's how it got so serious."

Matthew watched him silently, expecting a lecture.

Isaiah's face contorted in anguish. "Why didn't you say anything? You must have been in so much pain."

That was actually worse than a lecture. He tried to speak, but his throat was dry and he coughed instead.

Isaiah sat up, taking a glass of water from the nightstand with a straw and holding it to his lips. "Drink this. Slowly."

Matthew obeyed, eager at the sight. The water was moderate temperature and it was the most heavenly taste he ever experienced.

Isaiah watched him intensely, bringing the glass away when he drank about half of it. He took the damp cloth that Matthew shook off with the movement and mopped his forehead and neck with it.

Matthew wanted to protest the treatment - he wasn't a child - but tensing up made him flinch in pain. It was only an echo of what it was before, but still.

"You will be okay. Just take it easy for now. We cleaned out the wound, applied antiseptics and got you some antibiotics from the pharmacy. It already looks a lot better, but you had a really high fever and you threw up a lot. We almost took you to the hospital, but your shadow was so out of it I was worried it was something else. But when we cleaned the wound, you got better rapidly, so we figured it was alright..."

"We?" Matthew rasped.

Isaiah nodded towards the end of the bed. Matthew tilted his head just enough to see what he was pointing at.

Seline was curled up on the bed beside him, a hand thrown over his leg, face almost pressed into it, breathing steadily.

"You think...she will forgive me now?"

Isaiah's eyes widened, lips quivering. The black-haired wolf leaned over, burying his face into the place between Matthew's shoulder and collarbone, hand going over his chest as if he was afraid Matthew would disappear if he didn't hold him down.

"Don't you ever do that again," Isaiah whispered against his shirt. "If you ever hide an injury like that, I'll kill you myself." It sounded like he was a hair away from sobbing.

Matthew tilted his head towards the black tousled hair, cheek against Isaiah's forehead. "Okay."

[scribeforchrist-blog]

Silence Through It All

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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+ 1 Corinthians 6:14 And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power.

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VERSE OF THE DAY 

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+ Isaiah 53:6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him.  the iniquity of us all.

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** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM SAVED 

I AM REMAINING QUIET 

I AM WAITING ON GOD 

I AM JESUS’ SHEEP

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READ TIME : 7 Minutes & 54 Seconds

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THOUGHTS:

=======================

      A lot of people will say they have never done anything in their life wrong and that they have lived a perfect life, but what people call perfect and what people call holy and pleasing just isn’t; a lot of times, we look at someone and say this person is upright it's no way they have done anything wrong, right? But that’s not the standard. That’s not qualifying someone as perfect . We can think we know what qualifies a person for being good or for being correct, but we don’t.

    Today's verse tells us this: we all have been lost sheep, and we have all gone astray or done what we wanted; whatever we are big enough to do, we did it because we felt like we could, right? But the Bible tells us because we had this mindset, God sent his son down to lay His life down for our sins, and sometimes we might think” I have none, he did this for others and not for me,” but he did this for everyone because we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

     Verse 7: He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep, before its shearers are silent, he did not open his mouth.

     Most of us get accused of something we didn’t do, and we would immediately let everyone know. We would scream, fuss, and fight to tell someone they had the wrong person. It wasn’t me; we would not let our actions speak for us. We even take it a step further and let our words speak for us, too, but Jesus when he was about to be crucified, was oppressed and afflicted and still didn’t say a word; he was like a lamb about to be slaughtered. He knew it, but he remained silent and never said a word.

    If Jesus had spoken a word and said what he needed to say to clear himself, he wouldn’t have been crucified; they spit on him, hit him in the head, made a crown of thrones and pushed it on his head, they whipped him they did everything to him they mocked him. He could’ve stopped it, but he remained silent because he knew he was there for the greater good.

    Some times we must remain silent as God has us going through our trials; sometimes, being silent is the best policy, but some of us haven’t learned that yet. I had to learn in my lifetime that sometimes it is better to be silent and allow God to vindicate me himself than for me to do it.  If I do it, there will only be more problems, but if I wait on God, there will always be fewer problems. 

  Verse 9: He was assigned a grave with the wicked and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth.

      He didn’t do anything violent while he was here; he wasn’t cruel or unkind , he was a blessing to everyone he met. However, he still had a grave with the wicked, and he didn’t deserve that; some of us will admit I deserve this or that. Some people will say I don’t deserve anything, but he took what they gave to him, and we went on, but some of us have the spirit of entitlement: I deserve this, I deserve that, but we don’t deserve anything, my friends, but he has and will give us everything because he sees us as his children.

   Matthew 27:39-40 Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads 40 and saying, “You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself! Come down from the cross if you are the Son of God!”

   We can’t deny what he did for us and how he did it; he even had to contend with people walking by saying ugly things to him, and he still didn’t say anything; they told him to save himself, and they didn’t even know what he was doing was to save them all and if he left, if he came down, if he did anything other than the mission he wouldn’t be able to save us. When we think about his goodness and how he did something some of us couldn’t, it should make us rethink the statement Jesus never blessed me or the statement I wish he’ll bless me just this once because he did; he blesses us with grace and mercy. He gave his life for us to have love, and he did it all in silence.

  ***Today, the Holy Spirit wanted us to learn to be quiet during tribulation during problems, not to say everything we want to say , until he gives us the words to do it; a lot of us have messed up in certain situations by saying what we want and doing what we want instead of holding our peace the Bible even says Exodus 14:14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

  He says I will fight for you, but we DON’T like to wait on God because we feel he’ll miss the opportunity, and he won’t. His timing is always perfect, but we must be more patient and wait on God. Jesus, as he hung there, waited; some people say he had a heart attack, and others say he died, but he died for us to be saved; he died for us to have eternal life, and we can’t hold our peace just for a little bit, If we compare our suffering to Christ we aren’t going through anything compared to him which I’m not minimizing anyone’s issue but if Christ could go through that in silence why can’t we. In His death, he taught us so many things, and one of the few things we can learn from him is love; he still loved the people who mocked him, and he showed us through it all we can remain silent and allow what God will is for our life to stand.

   The Holy Spirit is waiting for us to hear him when he speaks; he’s waiting for us to obey the more minor things; he telling some of us you can’t do the simple, small things; how can he trust us with a calling? How can he trust us with something bigger when we can’t obey the small things? Today, ask the Holy Spirit what you need to do. Ask him what you haven’t done that he asked you to do . Every day I ask him, Holy Spirit, if I haven’t done something you asked me to do, please show me and tell me again , we must obey the simple commands to have more in the spirit. ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

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PRAYER

========================

Heavenly Father, we thank you so much for everything. We ask if anything we haven’t done is not of you, please show us so that we may correct it Lord, we are ready to follow you. We thank you for allowing Jesus to be silent and endure what he went through for us. Lord, we love you so much, and we praise you for everything; forgive us for all the sins we did; please give us peace in our lives in Jesus Name, Amen 

========================

REFERENCES 

========================

+ Deuteronomy 1:30 The LORD your God, who goes before you, will fight for you, just as you saw Him do for you in Egypt

 

+ Joshua 10:14 There has been no day like it before or since when the LORD listened to the voice of a man because the LORD fought for Israel.

 

+ Psalm 50:3 Our God shall come and shall not keep silence: a fire shall devour before him, and it shall be very tempestuous round about him.

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FURTHER READINGS 

=========================

Proverbs 6

Leviticus 6

Mark 10

Exodus 37

=========================

[jaz-it-up]

"But the wicked are like the troubled sea, when it cannot rest, whose waters cast up mire and dirt." -Isaiah 57:20

Or: Ren, Martyn, and the series of increasingly bad decisions surrounding the Red King's coronation.

a gift fic for @apollothetransboy and his fic, spring dawns on an eastern shore!

full fic under the cut!

Ren is waiting.

He knows Martyn faces a difficult choice. He knows that either way, they will both get hurt; either Martyn kills him and leaves, or Martyn stays and they die together, the Red King and his Hand.

"I won't do it!"

Ren freezes. He can't see Martyn, since he's standing behind him, but he sounds terrified. Void, what was he thinking, asking Martyn to do this?

"You took me in when I was just a lowly traveler going across the land, searching the four corners of this world," Martyn continues, his voice high and shaking. "I learned there was nothing in this world for me, nothing but walls, corners, edges. And you know what? You showed me life."

Ren swallows against the lump of guilt in his throat. To have shown such a lively man as Martyn how to live is an honor, surely, and not one he fully believes he deserves.

"As much as I've taken it from you, you've given it back to me in buckets full," Martyn says. "And I just- I- I'm with you. This is us now. This is us."

"It's you and me to the end, Hand," Ren manages to say. "Red Winter is coming!"

And as if on cue, Martyn stumbles off into the carrot fields, hits the ground hard and vomits.

Ren is at his side in a heartbeat, one hand on his shoulder. "Martyn? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm alright, I just-" Martyn retches again, and Ren tries not to flinch at the sound- "tonight's been… a lot. I think-"

He throws up again, and okay, Ren might be a worrywart on occasion, but he's fairly sure that isn't normal. He's too afraid of what might happen if he tries to move Martyn, though, so he settles for kneeling in the carrot patch, rubbing Martyn's back soothingly.

For a moment, it seems to die down. Martyn is on his hands and knees in the dirt, breathing slowly and shallowly, green eyes wide and haunted.

"How are ye, Hand?" Ren murmurs, squeezing his shoulder.

"I almost killed you," Martyn whispers, horrified. "I almost- oh, void-”

He gags, but what little is still in his stomach manages to stay down for the moment. He presses his hand against his mouth, looking extremely nauseous and pale, and Ren can't help the tears that spring to his own eyes. He didn't want Martyn to feel bad about this. He didn't want Martyn to be scared.

“Let's get inside, Hand,” Ren says quietly. “I'm sorry. I would not have asked ye to do this, had I known it would make ye sick.”

Martyn doesn't answer as Ren cautiously pulls him to his feet. He seems lost in his own mind, eyes glassy and face white as a sheet. Ren helps him down the stone steps and into the underbelly of Dogwarts, his eyes never leaving Martyn for a second. 

Ren's a little bit lost in his thoughts, too. He shouldn't have done this to Martyn. He should have thought of a different way, a better way to protect Dogwarts and earn Martyn's trust. Not that he thinks he has it anymore, of course; why would Martyn trust him, after everything he's put him through tonight?

Martyn practically collapses onto one of the beds, hand still covering his mouth. Ren rummages around for a bucket, wordlessly handing it to him. Martyn curls himself around it, clutching it to his chest like his life depends on it.

“I'm sorry, Martyn,” Ren murmurs, his voice ragged. “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking, I just-”

“Don't,” Martyn chokes out. “I know why you did it. I'm not- I’m not mad- shit-”

Martyn coughs harshly into the bucket, and Ren wrinkles his nose at the smell. 

“That still doesn't mean I should’ve done it.”

“Quit- quit that.” Martyn exhales shakily. “You said it y-yourself. Sometimes i-in life, you gots to do things that hurt.”

“Rest now,” Ren says quietly, not wanting to continue the conversation. “It will not undo the harm I caused ye, but I might hope it will help in healing it.”

Martyn slowly lays back, setting the bucket next to him on the floor. He closes his eyes, but he's still so pale that-

Well, in all honesty, he looks like a corpse.

“Sleep on yer left, laddie,” Ren says. “Helps the nausea, or so I’m told. Shout if ye need me.”

“Mhm.”

…

The sun is rising and Ren is tending to the crops when a bloodcurdling scream reaches his ears. It's a scream of pure terror, something raw and instinctual. It sounds like shattering glass and shattered trust, like someone who has lost everything and can do nothing but scream for its loss. 

Ren's on his feet in an instant, farming tools forgotten in the dirt. There's only one other person within the walls of Dogwarts, one person that scream could have come from.

Martyn.

He barely stops himself from sprinting downstairs, his claws scratching uncomfortably against the stone stairs. Martyn is once again hunched over the bucket, though he does look minimally better.

“Sorry, my lord,” Martyn says breathlessly. “Just- just a nightmare. You can- you can-” he throws up yet again- “sorry, you can go. It should get better af-after this.”

“I'm staying here,” Ren says without a moment's hesitation. “I didn't know anyone could scream like that.”

“I-”

“Don't apologize,” Ren says quickly. “Don't. Please. I should be apologizing, if anything. I did that to you. You're getting nightmares about something I asked you to do.”

Martyn swallows and looks away. Ren thinks it might feel better to be decapitated again.

“I'll get you some water,” Ren murmurs. “You must be dehydrated.”

When Ren returns, a glass water bottle in his hand, Martyn has drifted off again. His brows are creased in worry, even in sleep. Ren brushes a loose strand of hair out of Martyn's face, careful not to actually touch him, just in case he's a light sleeper.

Yeah. Definitely not because Ren doubts that Martyn will ever want anything to do with him again after what he did.

They spend most of the day like that - Martyn either sleeping or on the verge of a panic attack, and Ren at his side, trying to help and too afraid to talk about what happened. 

It's a strange shift, Ren protecting Martyn, but one that Ren welcomes. He'll do anything for Martyn.

He's even got his gear all in one place for when Martyn asks him to leave.

He doesn't really know where he'll go. He's not sure he has anywhere to go; maybe Etho's wool castle, way out in the swamp, or maybe he'll find some far-off corner to hide in until he dies. 

Now that he's red, maybe he'll get lucky and the mobs will get him before he has the chance.

That thought sends goosebumps up his arms and down his back. He's thinking about dying, and he's thinking about wanting to die. That's- that's not good.

He really shouldn't have done what he did tonight.

The moon is high amongst the stars when Martyn properly wakes again. He looks exhausted - still pale, but not worryingly so, and his green eyes are rimmed red from crying. Ren nearly starts crying himself when he sees Martyn, but he forces himself to keep it together at least long enough to finish the soup he's making. He's never been the best cook, but it's something he can do for Martyn, so he'll do it.

“Good, uh- what time is it, my lord?” Martyn asks, his voice scratchy and rough.

“About 10 at night, if I were to guess,” Ren says. Part of him wants to ask Martyn why he's still bothering to refer to him by title after everything he did, but instead, he just holds up the bowl in his arms. “I made soup, if you're hungry.”

“I- how long was I asleep, then?” 

“Most of the-” Ren’s voice cracks, and he clears his throat- “most of the day. I'm sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Martyn asks. “I had a shitty reaction. That's not your fault. It'd be dumb to be mad at you for how I react to things.”

Ren sets down the soup. He has a feeling it'll go cold before it's eaten. “I triggered that reaction, though.”

“Still not your fault.” Martyn sits up a little more, though Ren doesn't miss the way his hands shake. “You didn't know. Plus, I would have told you if I really didn't want to do it.”

“We both know that's a lie,” Ren says softly. “We'd both do anything for each other at the cost of ourselves.”

“Why are you so dead set on believing you did something wrong?” Martyn snaps. “You didn't! If you're looking for forgiveness, you're not going to get it, because there's nothing to forgive. I'm not mad. Am I upset that I reacted the way I did? Sure. Am I going to have nightmares about chopping your head off for the rest of my life? Yeah, probably! But here's the thing: I get it. I get why you did it, and I get that you feel bad about it. This has turned into a death game, and everyone has something they're going to feel bad about. The last thing I want is to see you destroy yourself over it. Okay?”

Ren bursts into tears.

“Oh, Ren,” Martyn says, his voice impossibly soft. “Come here. Come here, my liege.”

Ren doesn't quite fall into Martyn's arms, but it feels like he does, and part of him hates the way the two of them fit together, like they were meant to stay with each other. They both hold each other like their lives depend on it, and Ren knows they're both crying. 

If the circumstances were better, he'd want to stay here forever.

“I hate this,” Ren gasps between sobs. “I hate it. I want to- I want to go home.”

“I know, my lord,” Martyn murmurs. “I would take you there if I could.”

“I don't deserve you,” Ren mumbles, burying his face in Martyn's hair. “You're too good to me, Hand.”

“And I don't deserve you,” Martyn replies. “But we have each other, so let's ignore that for now and get some sleep, yeah?”

Ren lays back, pulling Martyn with him. Martyn turns over so Ren's chest is pressed against his back, and he tugs Ren's arm over his body like a shield.

Ren tries not to cry even more at that.

“Goodnight, my lord,” Martyn whispers. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Ren whispers back. “Goodnight, Hand.”

Martyn falls asleep.

Ren does not.

Peace is not to wicked men.

[peakyscillian]

Family Ties | Modern!Tommy Series.

Summary: The Shelby’s will do anything for family. Warnings: Smut, 18+ Minors DNI, Mature themes, use of the word 'Whore/Slut' Part: 10 Pairing: Modern!Tommy x Fem!Reader Requested: No Notes: If you read a series/story and you like it or even love it, please comment, like & reblog so writers know they're getting the interaction they deserve! It means so much to see someone reblog your work! I also want to thank everyone who has shown me so much love on my work!!

Family Ties | Modern!Tommy Series.

Masterlist | FT Masterlist

Part Ten - Present Day.

You were laying in bed watching the time tick past, Tommy was sleeping peacefully, you had tucked into his side, praying for the night to slow down.

"Sleep darling" his voice was gruff coated with sleep, his fingers tickling against the bare skin of your waist.

You hadn't told him about Sam's parting question, feeling so humiliated by it, but you knew that was the main thing keeping you up.

Tommy pressed his lips to your forehead "tell me what it is" he asked softly, you nodded biting at your lip.

"When I left his apartment, he..he asked if I was going to give him some kind of special welcome back" you swallowed, feeling the tears press at your waterline.

You felt Tommy's body stiffen, could see him trying to keep his anger at bay, he took a deep breath "Fucking prick, that's not going to happen. I promise" he sat up slowly, you moved next to him, his hands cupping your face.

"We will be in there, I've got men ready, Arthur is ready to kill him, Sam is not getting near you" he tried to reassure you, you nodded.

"You say stop we stop" he confirmed once again, some kind of mantra he’d been using for the past few days, "but for now, lets sleep, eh?" he lifted the covers to let you slip back under, you wrapped your arm around his waist. 

Snuggling back into his side, the comforting beat of his heart lulling you into a light sleep. 

-

Tommy was in the kitchen at the betting shop the next afternoon, he'd left you with Polly, Ada and Esme.

You'd been on edge all morning, even your favourite breakfast place by the river couldn't calm you, he'd had second thoughts, thought about pulling you out going about it in a different way.

You'd immediately noticed his shift in attitude, took his hand, told him you would be fine, you could do it.

He'd gathered his men, ready to lay out the plan. Finn and Isaiah had called up the club, enquired about any new girls, and had booked you out for the evening with his men. 

Tommy was going to be there, back of the booth away from prying eyes. 

“If you see anyone touch her, try to book her. You tell me, Arthur or John. No one is going near her, understand?” All the men mumbled their agreement.

Finn cleared his throat “is this a good idea Tom? Is it going to work?” He asked, John's hand connecting quickly with the back of his head.

Tommy was in his face, finger pointed “you got a better idea, eh? Let us hear it then” Finn rolled his eyes, not giving Tommy an answer, “you don't want to come? Want to stay home and act like going to a strip club isn't something you do?” Tommy stood back, his little brother was soft, and wasn't up for the kind of life this family had created.

You would be scolding him right now, would be telling him to leave Finn alone, let him live his life the way he wanted to live it. You had a soft spot for Finn, you’d come into his life when he was just thirteen, Finn had taken to you the fastest out of all the siblings, he didn’t have any reason not to trust you, he had loved being around you, you'd even persuaded Tommy to turn a room into his own so he could stay over whenever he wanted. 

Tommy stepped away, lighting a cigarette “do what you want Finn you always do” he sighed, Finn slumped back in the chair, he just cared about you, couldn't lose you like he'd lost his mum.

Everyone left the kitchen, leaving Finn and Tommy alone, “I promise you she is going to be fine” Tommy took a seat opposite his little brother, Finn nodded “She takes care of us Tom”, Tommy smiled slightly “I know, and she’s going to still be around, do you think I’d let anything take her away?” he asked, trying to reassure Finn, “No” he shook his head, “I’ll be there tonight, I’ll make sure she’s alright” Finn added, Tommy nodded standing up giving him a brotherly pat on the back before he left the room. 

-

Tommy pressed a kiss to your lips, sitting a few roads away from the club. You’d hardly said anything on the drive over, his hands cupped at your cheek “Remember we’re all fucking there okay? Finn has even told me himself he’s going to make sure you’re alright” he smirked, you couldn’t help the small smile, of course Finn had your back, “I love you, remember that as well, fucking lost without you” he pressed another kiss to your lips. 

You relaxed into his kiss, fingers stroking through the short hair at the nape of his neck, “I love you too, Tom” you rested your forehead against his, giving him a final kiss. 

You grabbed your bag, took a deep breath, Tommy squeezed your thigh, you gave him a smile before opening the car door, “Y/N?” Tommy spoke softly before you closed the door, you popped your head back into the car, “Thank you” he smiled, you nodded “Anything for family, Thomas” you replied, giving him another smile as you closed the door. 

Lydia greeted you with an excited squeal as you walked back into the club, you were surprised to see her still here, bundled into a tight hug you laughed lightly “Lyd, I didn’t expect you to be here”, she shrugged leading you through the bar to the familiar back corridors “the money is good” she answered, as you nodded “Thats why I’m back need the money” you put your bags down on the dressing table. 

You had made yourself up, hair slicked back into a high ponytail, the outfit you’d picked was sexy but not over the top, small black shorts, high heels and a small crop top, you felt out of place so unnatural in this environment. 

Making your way through the club, scanning the room for familiar faces, Lydia had told you Sam would be in later, he had a few things to sort out before he arrived, that relaxed you slightly.

A few hours later you heard the unmistakable voice of Sam, his hot breath fanning across the skin of your neck as you served someone at the bar “my favourite little whore is back” he chuckled, you moved away from his body “Y/N, your booths order is ready” Summer smiled taking over from you.

Sam’s hand circled around your wrist “Come find me after, still need to welcome you back” he sneered, you nodded feeling sick to your stomach. 

You adjusted your top as you grabbed for the round of drinks checking the ticket number, you smiled knowing exactly who’s table that was.

“A round of shots, gentlemen” you shouted over the music with a beaming smile on your face, “Ere’ she is, hello sister” Arthur draped his arm around your shoulder.

“Hello Arthur” you dropped a light peck to his cheek “Looking stunning as always, y/n” he chuckled.

“Oi!” Tommy looked up from his phonee,yes locking with yours, as he shouted at his brother.

-

So we've made it full circle back to part one! I hope you've enjoyed it this far, there's so much more to come!

-

Taglist

@cillmequick @runnning-outof-time @look-at-the-soul @gypsy-girl-08 @heidimoreton @thomasshelbee @forgottenpeakywriter @shelbydelrey @allie131313 @cillixn @midnightmagpiemama @zablife @queenshelby @missymurphy1985 @janelongxox @cloudofdisney @being-worthy @vhscillian @radioheadgirl @elenavampire21 @datewithgianni @magicalpieex @camilleholland89 @cilliansangel @uchihacumdump @inkandpen22 @ysmmsy @lyarr24 @anotherhitandrun @alreadybroken-ts @flyingjosephine-blog @moral-turpitudes @duckybird101 @lostgirl219 @blyanyan @flippittygibbitts @stevie75 @pono-pura-vida @lespendy @lovemissyhoneybee @pocket-of-possibilities @otterly-fey @gotohellandbackforyou

[sootiesweep]

Thoughts on Bucky apparently being a congressman now?

Honestly, I'm trying not to think about it too much until we've got total confirmation/context - which may not even be until the movie comes out.

But the idea of it... I don't like it. It just feels so out of character to me. I actually had this exact worry when I first saw those bts pics earlier this year, with the pin on his suit. Getting involved with the Government like this - actually becoming a part of it - is a long way from the well-deserved peace he stated he wanted in TFATWS. In what world would post-Winter-Soldier Bucky want to be a politician?? Or any kind of member of a Government? Bucky Barnes, who definitely witnessed (and experienced) countless illicit dealings, war crimes, and all-round shady business from many Governments around the globe - including that of the US. Let's not forget that at least one Senator was still a Hydra pawn until 2024, when Bucky crossed her off his list of amends - and Valentina herself is living proof that the US is still corrupt.

My point is, Bucky knows not to trust the higher ups anymore - never mind the ones who tried to kill him in 2016 ("we have orders to shoot on sight" - Sharon), despite Ross knowing his condition and the US Government's partial responsibility for it (Hydra/Pierce, 2014).

Just as with Bucky's presence in the Thunderbolts, the only way I can somehow see him as a Congressman is if he's being manipulated. Manipulated into believing he's doing the right thing; that maybe he can change things for the better. We all know the significance of the conversation between Bucky and Pierce in CA:TWS - that even brainwashed, Bucky had to be convinced he was doing the right thing in order to comply and continue fighting. Perhaps he sees becoming a Congressman as an opportunity to finally counter some of the awful things he knows the US Gov has endorsed (the case of Isaiah Bradley, for example). And, of course, to counter some of the awful things he believes himself responsible for. Maybe he feels this is his one way to redemption - that he can finally do some real good.

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2024: #34

34. CYPRUS Silia Kapsis - "Liar" 15th place

Decade Ranking: 128/153 [Above Benny, below Reiley]

15th place? Generous. Good floordrops only get you so far if that's the ONLY thing you've got.

Every year there's a few acts that I thought just plain sucked, and yet can't really muster feelings of dislike for. Like, what's the point of putting in the effort of emoting if I can simply choose to focus my attention on better, worthier songs? They're shit, but that's their problem, not mine.

And that awkward little spot where those acts go is also where dear young Sillia lands. "Liar" is bad, I think we all agree? Laurel Barker still hasn't shown her busted face since "Sober" (GOOD.) but her spirit lives on in mediocre, poorly written girlbops with no substance, and this season had multiples of those. "Liar" stood out the worst to me by virtue of, well, not really standing out at all, other than for its horrible libretto.

CUZ YOU'RE A LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR YEAH YEAH YEAH YOU LIE IE IE IE YEAH YEAH YEAH

that THIS is a chorus of a Eurovision FINALIST. 😳 Futhermore the lyrics also rhyme "oolala" with "truth la la" (okay this one is ACTUALLY funny) and present Silia as some sort of... intrusive busybody calling out pther people's adultery and philandering? I suppose it's a little LESS scuffed than have Isaiah Firebrace hone his gaslighting, uglycrying and concern trollery skills at the same age. But if you're going to tweak the narrative in function of her being a minor, and attempt to steer her away from sexualization, then perhaps don't style her in a top that accentuates her cleavage? And don't end with this:

(always a telltale sign of a losing battle when you have to splice THAT into a song/act that doesn't call for it just to get a Q.)

Unlike a Nutsa or a Sarah, you can't quite say that Silia was at the top of the performance game. She was a 17 year old with limited on-stage experience, and it showed. She had memorized her stupid lines and rehearsed her stupid TikTok dances and delivered both as flat and robotic as one does when they go through the motions. The Dance Break lmao what the FUCK was this epileptic seizure:

If you want a true Performative Piece emulating a neurotic disorder, got tho say Il Senso did it better.

"SHARP. BLADES. OF. TIME. CUTS. THE. SPACE. :twitches: " 😍

Silia was in the Reiley zone where nothing she did was particularly bad but also none of the things she did were objectively good, and it balances out in blandness. It was all just a little bit too much "Participation Trophy" material, which is the Cypriot special by now. Btw, did you know it is a Greek hand-me-down? ("Liar" starts at 0:59)

That's right, this was the song that lost to "WHAT THEY SAY" and then tried to fight its loss in court and lost the appeal. This song is so embarrasing it lost in an internal selection to Victor Vernikos.

Ofc behind all of this lay a huge shitstorm of a selection with Cyprus planning to do an NF on Greek soil based on a format ERT had planned and trashed sometime in the past. Greece found out and threatened to blank Cyprus completely if they appropriated their NF concept, which forced Cyprus to recruit another Australian and contact Kontopoulos who still had "Liar" in his folder, with the hopes that the badness would fly under the radar.

But don't worry Cyprus repaid Greece by ranking Eden ahead of Marina in the jury vote. 🙂 I wouldn't blame the Greeks if they invaded and annexed (or bribed the Turks to do it for them) 🙂

So yeah, Cyprus made the final. Unfortunate because it rewards an entry that deliberately plays lowest base on several levels. I suppose I would find Liar's advancement offensive in most cases, but like... it's semi 1. Half of the acts in that shitshow deserved to get the boot including Silia yes, and all five acts that were eliminated, so whatevs. Do we really care which shitty acts made it in, if at least three of them were advancing anyway, idfts. Finland was the only one I wanted to see dead (not literally. i think.) and that was never happening in a full televote from that second half.

Besides, the finale had a much bigger fish to fry, and Cyprus's generous-AF 15th place overall (reminder: this is the same placement Maraaya and Zalagasper got in WORSE finals) feels like such a trifle in comparison. So, I'm FINE with ranking her barely into yellow today. Pray that we're spared more degenerative nonsense from this clown country next year if there's a next yeah and and if Poseidon doesn't make the disrespectful island sink into the sea for its many crimes against Marina Satti.

THE RANKING

[anamericangirl]

Hey there, I have a question.

First off, I used to self h«rm a lot and attempted suic!de multiple times. When I finally decided to talk to the social worker at my very Christian school, the first and only thing she told me was that what I did was a sin, and that I had no right to do it, since my body only belongs to God. Don’t get me wrong, I’m Christian too, but what she told me really damaged my faith. When I told her that I am bisexual (that wasn’t the main topic, it just came up), she told me that for that, I deserve to be kille?, and that it would’ve been better if my attempts had succeeded.

I tried dot educate myself on the topic of suic¿de in the Bible, but I couldn’t really keep doing that since it only triggered me and I couldn’t keep doing it. But I feel like you really know about the Bible, and so I wanted to ask what you know about that topic.

If you don’t want to answer this, that’s completely fine, I can understand it‘s a sensible topic.

Have a beautiful day, you deserve the best.

Wow, I'm so sorry you've had such serious struggles and the social worker would tell you such things. Some people really shouldn't be put in positions where they are supposed to be a trusted source of advice and counsel and she sounds like one of those people. Those are incredibly damaging things to say to someone who was in the very vulnerable state you were in. I'm glad you were able to keep your faith in God and made attempts to study the issue yourself even though you had an experience that understandably made both those things more difficult. Like if she actually told you it would have been better if your suicide attempts were successful that's very suicide baity and I hope she's not still in that position.

I'm very honored you feel like I know the Bible pretty well. I have been studying it more in depth this past year or two so I definitely know more than I used to but there's still a lot for me to learn!

The Bible doesn't explicitly address suicide and say not to do it, but we can get a very solid understanding of what God thinks about it by reading and studying his word. We know that God is the creator and he has given us the gift of life. And he makes it clear in the Bible that all life is unique and precious to him and he does not want us to take it upon ourselves to end our own lives.

There six or seven people mentioned in the Bible who committed suicide and several more who had suicidal thoughts but overcame them by putting their hope in God. Elijah, Solomon, Jonah, Job, even Paul all hit the point where they wanted to give up on life and some even asking God to end them, but instead of going through with these desires, they ended up putting their trust and faith in God and he pulled them through, which is what he wants us to do whenever we have to the point where we are in so much despair the only things we can think of to distract ourselves or end our troubles is self harm and suicide. In Acts 16 Paul even explicitly stops a prison guard who was about to kill himself after thinking a bunch of prisoners had escaped and tells him not to kill himself.

There are many verses in the Bible about coming to God when we feel at our lowest.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken." - Psalms 55:22

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death." - Romans 8:1-2

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all." - Psalms 34:18-19

Those are by no means all the verses, but it is a small sampling that shows that God wants us to come to him with our despair, sorrow and grief so he can give us healing and hope again.

Speaking theologically, suicide would be a considered a sin. It goes against God's commandments and disrespects the gift of life he has given and disrespects the fact that God is the giver and taker of life. Life is not ours to take. Not from another person and not from ourselves. God created us special. In 1 Corinthians it says “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” This pertains to far more than suicide, but suicide is definitely a way to disrespect our own body.

God does tell us not to commit murder and suicide is technically self-murder. So while suicide is a sin, it's not unforgivable and it's not something you deserve for anything else you do or are struggling with and it's completely unbiblical for anyone to say you should be killed or your suicide attempts should have been successful.

I am very glad you made attempts to study for yourself instead of just accepting what that woman told you and I hope you have found healing and I hope I was able to provide a somewhat satisfactory answer for you.

Thank you for your kind words. I hope you are doing better and have a wonderful day! God bless!