#is youthful and romantic and innocent yet strong just like him

[midorikawawas]

At this point all of Seventeen discography is Hiroto Kiyama's personal OST to me

[solxamber]

WOAH CAN I REQUEST LILIA X AN NPC THAT HE GROWS ATTRACTED TO (romantic) AND THOUGHT SOME USE OF MAGIC THEY GET TO HIS WORLD?! AND THEY GET TOGETHER? PLEASE

Lilia Vanrouge x NPC! Reader

thank you for the request, I hope you like it <3

Lilia Vanrouge is an old fae who has seen many things in his long life. He has fought in wars, ruled lands, and babysat a dragon prince. Yet nothing could have prepared him for the strange obsession that takes over him the moment he picks up a copy of the hottest new game in Twisted Wonderland: "Kingdoms & Chaos: Celestial Knight's Quest."

It starts innocently enough. A little late-night entertainment to pass the time while Silver is napping (read: fainted from exhaustion), Malleus is out being mysterious, and Sebek is… well, Sebek-ing somewhere.

But then you appear.

As the Commander of the Celestial Knights—an NPC of all things—you steal Lilia’s heart without even trying. Not only are you charming and competent, but you also manage to dish out some fantastic one-liners as you lead the virtual army across the battlefield with a grace that’s almost unmatched.

"Ah, what a lovely evening," Lilia hums, as the glow of his screen reflects off his ever-youthful face. “So peaceful, so quiet… Oh look, an army of marauding orcs attacking the village!” he says gleefully, mashing buttons with expert skill.

Then you arrive on the screen. Your character, standing tall, sword drawn, voice commanding: “We shall protect this land at all costs!”

Lilia gasps softly. He’s heard you say this line a dozen times, but for some reason, tonight it hits different. You’re so determined… so strong… and that armor—why, it looks splendid on you!

“How intriguing” he muses to himself with a teasing grin. “If only you were real, darling Commander. I’d have such fun seeing how well you could lead in the real world… Imagine, conquering lands by my side…”

Suddenly, an idea forms in Lilia’s mischievous brain.

Never one to back down from a challenge (even if it’s entirely self-imposed and objectively absurd), Lilia decides to play around with some light magical experimentation. After all, what could possibly go wrong with trying to summon a fictional character into reality?

"Just a harmless spell," Lilia assures himself as he draws up a complicated sigil on the floor of his room. He’s chanting in ancient fae tongue, eyes gleaming with excitement.

For a brief moment, nothing happens.

Lilia huffs. “How disappointing… Perhaps I’ve—"

POOF!

Before him stands… you. Armor and all.

You blink in confusion. One moment, you were standing on the battleground, barking orders at your troops in a rather intense cutscene. The next moment, you find yourself standing in what appears to be someone’s bedroom, staring at a very smug-looking man with fangs.

“Where am I? What is this place?!” You exclaim, grabbing for your sword instinctively.

Lilia claps his hands together, delight shining in his eyes. “Welcome to my world, darling! Oh, I knew that spell would work eventually. You’re even more dazzling in person!”

You gape at him. “What�� how did I—what kind of magic is this?!”

“Oh, just a little something I whipped up,” he says nonchalantly. “It’s all very simple, really. Though, now that you’re here, I suppose I should give you a tour of the place! Maybe a drink? A lovely stroll under the moonlight?”

You eye him suspiciously. “You… summoned me? But I’m just a—”

“NPC?” Lilia interrupts with a smirk. “Not anymore! You’re free to do as you wish here. Consider yourself the main character now, hm?”

You lower your sword slightly, starting to process what just happened. This man is utterly insane…

And yet, there’s something oddly intriguing about his carefree attitude. And he’s undeniably… attractive?

Adjusting to life outside of a game isn’t easy. For one thing, you have to deal with all these strange, non-player characters called “people,” who seem to have minds of their own. You no longer have the comfort of pre-determined dialogue options either, which is quite jarring.

The most bizarre thing, though, is that Lilia keeps flirting with you.

At first, you try to ignore it, chalking it up to the fact that he’s just messing with you. But it’s hard to ignore when he leans in close to you with a teasing smile every time you so much as yawn.

“Tired, Commander?” Lilia whispers in your ear one evening, his breath tickling your skin. “You should rest… After all, we wouldn’t want you collapsing in battle.”

Your cheeks flush red as you stammer out a response. “I-I’m not tired! And there’s no battle! This isn’t the game!”

He chuckles, clearly enjoying how flustered you’ve become. “But of course! How silly of me. Though, you should know… you’ve already won this battle.”

“What battle?!”

“The battle for my heart,” Lilia says smoothly, winking at you.

Your face burns hotter, and you try to hide behind a pillow. “What kind of nonsense are you even talking about?!”

Lilia just grins and pats your head fondly. “You’ll understand soon enough, my dear Commander.”

Days turn into weeks, and while you initially found Lilia’s antics annoying, you start to realize that he genuinely cares for you. He’s always looking out for you, guiding you through this strange new world with a patience you never expected from someone so chaotic.

One night, while you’re sitting outside under the stars, you find yourself staring at him longer than usual. He’s so carefree and confident, yet there’s a softness to him when he talks to you.

And that’s when it hits you.

*Oh no… I’m falling for him.*

Lilia notices your staring and smirks. “What’s this? Are you finally seeing my charm, darling Commander?”

You groan and cover your face. “Why must you always be so insufferably smug?”

“I can’t help it if I’m irresistible,” Lilia teases, leaning in closer. “Tell me, do I make your heart race?”

You try to deny it, but you know it’s true. Your heart is racing, and it’s all because of him.

Finally, after a long pause, you sigh in defeat. “Alright, fine… maybe you do make my heart race a little.”

Lilia’s eyes widen slightly in surprise before a genuine smile crosses his lips. “Is that so? Well then, I suppose I should reward you for your honesty.”

Before you can respond, Lilia leans in and presses his lips to yours in a soft, sweet kiss. It’s nothing grand or dramatic—just simple and sincere.

When he pulls away, you’re left breathless, your heart pounding in your chest.

“Well,” you mumble, still dazed. “I suppose this means I’ve won.”

Lilia chuckles softly, his forehead resting against yours. “Perhaps… But you’re not the only one who’s victorious tonight, darling.”

Masterlist

[twice-inamillion]

Here’s a question so Jihyo and Dahyun are engaged to OC and he hasn’t purposed to Mina yet and Sana is pregnant so are the tiers

Sleeve (has sex with OC but hasn’t been impregnated by him)

Mommy (been impregnated by OC)

Wife (gave birth to his baby)

Or are the tiers

Sleeve (casual sex with no romantic attachment)

Girlfriend (sex with romantic feelings)

Mommy (impregnated by OC)

Wife (had OCs baby and in a romantic relationship with him)

If the second one is the case where does that leave Sana? Cause she wanted to be impregnated by OC but hasn’t shown any romantic feelings towards him and treats him like a breeding buddy in exchange for being his sleeve. (Her relationship with OC hasn’t been fleshed out so I’m confused)

OC proposed to Jihyo dunces she’s the main girl.

For Dahyun it was made as a promise to be with her and her child. Dahyun after being disowned by her parents has no other family besides her child. She became stores that OC might discard her if OC kept on involving himself with the rest of the girls. She has a fear of not having support and becoming a single mother if anything goes wrong. OC promised her that he wouldn’t leave her but she wasn’t fully convinced. OC made a choice to propose to her as a sign that he is fully committed to her and her child.

For Mina OC didn’t think it was wise for him to propose to her due to her unstable state at the time. He loves Mina but wants to do it properly. She did hint that she’s waiting so OC needs to find the right time.

For sana she became curious of her member’s pregnancy and knew she wanted a child of her know. Growing up as an only child she wanted a big family and got that through the girls but wants one of her own. She does find OC attractive enough to attack him as the mystery woman. She loves his body, how it looks and how makes her feel inside. She didn’t want anyone one else besides him since she wants to give her baby blood related siblings. On the other hand if OC rejected she would threaten him to give herself of other men to achieve her goal. OC is a strong but weak man that can easily be convinced and Sana played him well. She got pregnant and is slowly adapting herself as OC’s baby mommies. Obviously she wants to have a good relationship with the father of her child and stills wants to have her urges met. There are a lot of things that can happen until the baby is born.

The sleeves on the other hand (Chaeyoung and momo) are different. Chaeyoung doesn’t want kids, not now. She wants to have fun and enjoy her youth. She likes a good rush of adrenaline and gets it off by getting fucked by OC. She’s become a slave for his cock after being broken in. OC got lucky he was the first guy to break her since she imprinted herself for his personal use. Knowing that she doesn’t want kids she and OC worked on a compromise to be in birth control.

Momo thinks about food and resting but after convincing she got hooked for that OC cock. She doesn’t really care if she gets pregnant or not. Slightly leans to not or she won’t be able to have fun but if it happens it happens. She’s not like Chaeyoung in which is sub to OC but can go back and forth. She loves how OC can be sweat and switch to being rough. OC again got lucky that he got to her first because many men want her because of her ass and tits.

Nayeon is a complicated relationship and will be developed.

Tzuyu is OC’s little girl. He saw her from her debut days and can’t seem to fuck her not yet. He thinks of her as an innocent girl that can do no harm. Tzuyu has build a daddy and daughter relation with OC. Respects him and idolizes him for being a good man, especially with the girls. She might have daddy issues which is why OC become her daddy. She wants him to fuck her just like the rest of her “sisters” or and thinks of Jihyo as her mommy. She’s willing to wait for OC as long as she can, for her daddy to take her first.

[theninthdoor]

Hi!! Could I request a love reading for seventeen?

S.Coups || page of cups, ace of swords: I believe he's dating. However, I see them going about this relationship very lightheartedly, with no expectations. It just has a very youthful, fresh, innocent feeling to it.

Jeonghan || two of cups, four of swords: Definitely dating, although it seems like they have been spending some time apart. He's not been able to meet his partner as often as he would like - likely due to his schedule or other responsibilities that require him to keep all distractions away.

Joshua || two of cups, the star rx: Joshua is in a relationship as well. Although their feelings are strong and mutual, the couple is worried about the future of the relationship. They can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and wonder if love is enough to help them navigate and overcome their current isses.

Jun || queen of swords, nine of pentacles: He's currently single and very much satisfied.

Hoshi || nine of pentacles, page of pentacles: Also single. Hoshi is mainly focused on work right now; love isn't really on his mind.

Wonwoo || four of swords, the star: Single; still healing from a past connection. I don't see a heartbreak, though, only some disappointment with how things ended up.

Woozi || four of swords, two of wands: Woozi is single, too. There might be a fairly new connection that he thinks could develop into something romantic later on, yet it's still too early for him to be sure of it. It's just a passing thought.

DK || the strength, the empress: He's in a committed relationship with someone who embodies all the qualities he has ever wished for in a partner. Said partner might be older than him or, personality wise, they may be a little more dominant than him. Either way, this just has a very safe, intimate and stable feeling to it.

Mingyu || the empress, the magician: I believe he has recently started seeing someone. The relationship has developed quite quickly though, as they seem to share a lot of the same goals and preferences when it comes to life & love.

The8 || three of wands, knight of wands rx: He's been talking to someone, however, it just doesn't feel like he's looking to pursue an actual, solid relationship with them. If anything, a fling.

Seungkwan || queen of cups, the fool: Another fun, easygoing relationship. He seems to be the older here (KoS at the bottom of the deck + The Fool here). It's fairly new, yet they are having a lot of fun getting to know each other. Their feelings already run quite deep, though.

Vernon || the fool, knight of swords: He's single but has his eye on someone. I don't think he's having a lot of luck with his pursuit, though… his love interest sees him as a little immature + too direct and cold with his words/actions (basically, he doesn't know how to flirt lol).

Dino || three of swords, page of wands, five of cups: Dino has recently ended a relationship. Although I don't think it was all that serious to begin with, the breakup still affected him quite a lot. Right now he's not looking for love, exactly, moreso for little flings and other companions to get his mind off of this.

(Disclaimer: All readings are alleged and for entertainment purposes only.)

[augment-techs]

Tommy can't stop thinking with his dick... shocker...

Will eventually be uploaded to AO3 in Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes... but I pictured what face might cross your face at this one. Jamie doesn't like to cooperate much with the sexy stuff. Red will gladly.... but poor little Jamie... he's too old for this wild shit.

In a blur of ebony and white, the two morphed Rangers tumbled from the barn out into the farmyard, a volley of punches, kicks, and flips snapping like lightning with their enhanced speed and strength. The Fox Ranger was agile and deceptively strong despite his leaner build. Unlike Jason, Jamie lacked the bullheaded aggressiveness that Tommy had become familiar with over the years. The older man bided his time, coordinating his strikes in efficient and devastating combinations that Tommy struggled to counter.

It did not help that his thoughts were elsewhere during the ‘educational’ sparring match. The scent of Jamie’s exertion, his heavy breathing beneath the Fox helmet, the feel of his muscular body gliding against him, silk on silk making soft whispers, drowned out all strategic planning. Well, at least as far as the sparring was concerned.

Feigning innocent, accidental brushes and strokes, the White Ranger’s gloved hands roved Jamie’s chest, his belly, his thighs and ass as they grappled. This faux fighting was arousing him more so than before they started. Perhaps it was the heightened aroma of the older man’s body as Tommy had a downfall where his partner’s smell just unstitched him.

Something serpentine coiled slickly against itself in his mind, a remembered dark desire suffusing his veins like poison. His shadow very much wanted to come out and play; it begged to be allowed to snare the Fox Ranger and make him submit. The sheen of sweat coating his face under the White Tiger helmet was no longer just due to the intensity of their sparring, though he didn’t know it yet.

Now circling one another, each combatant sized up the other, plotting the next round of rapid-fire attacks.

‘God, that uniform really shows off his cock just right,’ Tommy groaned, his eyes sweeping along to the powerful legs that were his favorite attribute to drool over.

As Jamie braced himself for the White Ranger’s advance, he still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was amiss here. The young one was distracted, making stupid moves that were easily countered or dodged. He was also quite sure that Tommy was groping his body as they fought, but he was loathed to make serious accusations when it couldn’t be proven.

‘I’m just imagining things. He and Jason are in love and I don’t have the first clue about anything romantic or flirtatious.’

Red didn’t bother to speak up, which was just fine with Jamie as he was still irritated with him rutting about with David like a demented demon.

Finally, Tommy broke his ready stance, charging forward with an eerily familiar snarl that sent shivers across Jamie’s flesh.

Swiftly and unexpectedly, the White Ranger was staring up at the darkening sky as the Fox Ranger hip checked him, snatching him up into the air and flipping him onto his back in the dirt. He felt Jamie crouch next to him, chuckling gently.

“Not bad for an old man, huh? You alright, kiddo? I may have knocked the wind out of you.”

Tommy could only gaze into the silver Fox-inspired visor, panting heavily. He felt the slight brush of Jamie’s thigh against his own as the older man shifted his weight and he feared his brain might be short circuiting, words impossible.

“I didn’t kick your youthful ass too badly, did I, kiddo?” Jamie tried again, giving a nervous laugh. “You haven’t told me what I won yet.”

There were several prizes Tommy wanted to give the Fox Ranger; most of them ended with the man having an orgasm so intense he wouldn’t be able to think straight or get up off the ground, his muscles shaking and quivering as he whined into the younger Ranger’s open mouth. Vividly, he recalled Red keening against him, face tensed with passion as his hardened, velvety cock leaked against his belly.

When Tommy remained silent, Jamie reached down and gently unclasped the fastenings to the white and gold helmet.

“Tommy?” he called louder, tossing the protective covering to the side.

Slowly, the downed Ranger pulled himself upright, eyes locked onto Jamie’s visor as his hands reached for the clasps securing the Fox Ranger’s helmet. Then he was staring intensely into the older man’s unique eyes behind his black frame glasses, the right a midnight brown and the left a hazy bluish-white and blind from a caustic drain cleaner being poured inside.

“God, you’re gorgeous, Foxy,” he breathed, this thumb brushing Jamie’s lower lip sensually. “I want to kiss you…”

The older man gasped in shock.

“What are you doing, kiddo?” he growled firmly, moving to get up.

But Tommy snagged his wrist and giving a sharp tug, pulled the Fox Ranger into his lap, locking his own strong legs around Jamie’s middle, his back flush against the White Ranger’s shield before he could register what was happening.

“Please don’t be scared, Jamie. Don’t run away from me,” Tommy begged. “I’m not going to hurt you like HE did…”

The Fox Ranger could feel a throbbing cock pressed against his lower back, which was still as bruised and sore as his ass. His arms were pinned tightly at his sides and he struggled not to panic and react violently. He didn’t want to really hurt the young one, but Tommy’s odd behavior was setting off alarm bells.

Lips brushed his ear beneath his shaggy grey hair, nibbling at the sensitive whorls before the tip of a tongue flicked inside his ear canal.

“Gahhh!’ Jamie rasped, the involuntary noise of arousal embarrassing and confusing.

He needed to talk some sense into Tommy. Where was this all coming from? Sure, they’d had a heart to heart conversation just a few days ago and they’d been on friendlier terms instead of giving the other a wide berth. But… why was the White Ranger chasing him now? What changed?

“You have no idea what you do to me, walking around in those sexy glasses and button up shirts,” Tommy pleaded, nuzzling into his neck. “Please….”

One hand moved to the Fox Ranger’s chest, stroking the broad expanse of muscle under the black silk. Fingertips brushed over a nipple, teasing it into firmness and making Jamie squirm slightly.

“Tommy,” he grunted, trying to calm his physical reactions to the sensual stimulation. “This isn’t right…for so many different reasons…”

The long fingers continued toying with his nipple while the younger Ranger continued to pant and plead in his ear.

“Why? We’re both adults… And if we both want it, who cares?”

Jamie was flabbergasted at the response. How could he not see the field of red flags snapping in the breeze with this whole situation? How did he not realize the consequences of this risky behavior?

“Yes, we are adults, kiddo! But you’re forgetting… I think I’m somewhere in my forties. I’m at least a good twenty years older than you!” he argued, stunned that the White Ranger had side-stepped this glaring fact. “I’m old enough to be your father!”

Now Tommy chuckled, his chest rumbling against the Fox Ranger’s back.

“But you aren’t my dad, are you? Maybe I have a kink for older men that I didn’t realize until you crossed my path, Foxy Loxy? Perhaps that gorgeous greying hair and beard of yours get me rock hard?”

He gave a throaty growl, nipping the curve where Jamie’s neck sloped into his shoulder, the silk soft against his lips.

“You know, I think it’d be exciting to call you ‘Daddy’.”

The older man’s jaw dropped at the provocative admission, his cheeks flushing at being referred to in such a manner. His mouth moved, but words escaped him for a moment. Tommy’s hand slid from his chest down his belly, finally coming to rest on his lower abdomen, giving him goosebumps. He shivered slightly in the White Ranger’s grasp.

Teasing fingers swept the vulnerable, sensitive area, dipping near to Jamie’s growing erection.

“I just want to make you feel good, give you an orgasm, taste you, feel you… possess you…” a familiar feline voice purred, Tommy’s cheek pressing to Jamie’s bearded one. “You deserve something sweet…”

The Fox Ranger gulped anxiously. From his violent, aggressive past, he knew how to free himself and put an end to the White Ranger feeling him up.

‘But I don’t want to injure the kiddo… Red, what the fuck is he thinking?’

The canine alter’s growly voice answered, and Jamie was glad he was less bitchy, though he was still reeking of secretiveness.

‘He’s not thinking,’ Red sighed, before hissing a groan when fingers caressed his shaft.

“Tommy!” Jamie snapped, a tingling ache arching through his nerves, making him involuntarily buck his hips against the White Ranger’s leg lock. “Listen to me! You don’t know what you’re saying!”

“Mmmm… I know what I’m doing though. You like it. See?”

Tommy’s thumb rubbed more vigorously at the underside of the older man’s cock, a tell-tale fluid dampening the Fox Ranger’s uniform at the tip.

“Kiddo, you don’t even really know me! You’re probably only attracted to me because I remind you of Jason! Remember? Jason…your partner…that you want to marry!” Jamie grunted, fighting to keep his hips still.

He tried to twist around enough to look into Tommy’s face.

“How would Jason feel if he knew you were touching me like this?”

The White Ranger frowned, loosening his hold slightly and allowing Jamie to turn on his side.

“But in a way you ARE Jason, right? Just from a different timeline… and older…”

The grey-haired man hissed, cutting him off.

“No, I’m NOT Jason, kiddo! I’m ME… Jamie… And even if I were still Jason, I’m not YOUR Jason! We’re two very different people. The Red Omega and I diverged along the way when Coinless Jason’s mind fractured under horrific torture.”

Jamie felt flustered having to revisit his traumatic past, trying to explain that he was his own person.

“Besides, Tommy, you’ve only seen me with rose-tinted glasses…puppy dog eyes… Only seen the good side of me… But I’m far from a perfect man. You’ve never seen me on my bad days, when my PTSD is working overtime, when I’m having a Red Rage, when I’m so overwhelmed I cry and rock, when I can’t sleep from the nightmares! It’s not just my body that’s scarred…” he stammered. “Jason’s the one you fell in love with and you can’t hurt him this way!”

Tommy’s lips brushed the scar arcing up from the corner of Jamie’s mouth.

“I know you’re different, Foxy. And I know you’ve experienced things I’ll never understand. But you don’t have to deal with this alone!”

His nose brushed the older man’s tenderly, despite his raging hormones.

“What that asshole did to you was vile and monstrous! Yet something beautiful grew from that evil… YOU…”

Tommy pulled back slightly, whispering against Jamie’s lips.

“It’s like Zordon told me when I joined the Rangers. I’m both light and dark… And so are you. You don’t see you like I do, don’t see how resilient, how resourceful, how talented you are. Those differences from Jason are some of the things I love most about you. The artistic talent, the flowers, the farming, knowing all this random stuff about plants and animals, your softness and shyness…”

The tip of his tongue teased the seam of Jamie’s lips, surprising the older man into a stunned gasp. Taking advantage of the opportunity, Tommy slipped his tongue inside, gently goading the Fox Ranger’s to play. Timidly, he responded with a hesitant stroke, a soft sound vibrating his throat. The White Ranger carefully curled circles around Jamie’s tongue, sampling and teaching him at the same time.

‘He does taste exactly like a crisp autumn morning…’

Then Jamie jerked his head away.

“Jason…” he started again, but Tommy looked unbothered.

“Jason is aware of everything already. He knows I have a kink for Red and sometimes Jase pretends to be him when we fuck. I confessed when I got back last night because I wanted to be truthful with him. He said he was ok with it since he’d had sex with Drakkon and that picturing me with Red was hot.”

This was news to Jamie, the tidbit about Red catching him off guard even as his brain tried to process the whole roleplaying piece.

“Hold up, kiddo… You confessed what exactly? What happened last night?” he stuttered, not liking the implications that were hanging in the air.

“I ran into Red out by the lake after ‘David’ went into a bratty temper tantrum. We… sort of… fucked…”

Tommy wasn’t sure what the canine alter and Jamie shared with one another or if they had full access when ‘awake’ or how any of that worked, but clearly this personality had been in the dark about the frantic fucking that took place after Red teased him mercilessly, mentally and physically.

Internally, Jamie was blowing a fuse at discovering that no, it wasn’t ‘David’ thrusting into his ass hard enough to cover his entire backside, thighs, and hips with bruises.

‘GODDAMMIT, RED! WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK! YOU SCREWED THE WHITE RANGER!’ he bellowed. ‘THIS IS MUCH WORSE THAN SCREWING DAVID AND THAT WAS BAD ENOUGH! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA…’

Red bristled hotly.

‘You ASSUMED it was David,’ he pointed out, his voice snotty.

‘And Tommy just charmed the pants off the innocent, naïve, damsel?’ Jamie couldn’t help but return the pet’s sass. ‘You weren’t ‘taken advantage of’ or tricked! I know what you and Drakkon used to get up to in the palace! You couldn’t lock it all up from me, you know!’

“Jamie?” Tommy’s mouth was hovering near his ear now. “Why are you so quiet? Didn’t you know?”

“I’m quiet because I’m giving Red hell right now,” he growled. “No, I most certainly did NOT know. I thought David was the reason I woke up with a sore, black and blue ass!”

Another thought occurred to the Fox Ranger.

“Oh, goddammit, Tommy… If David finds out about this… Oh fucking hell… He hates you enough already!” he panicked.

“I don’t give a shit what that old tyrant knows! He can roll his old, sarcastic ass off a cliff for all I care!” the White Ranger snarled.

A clap of thunder startled both men seconds before a torrent of chilly rain poured down from the heavy grey clouds that had gathered while they sparred. The deluge promptly soaked the starkly contrasting silk uniforms and plastered their hair to their heads.

Tommy’s face still hovered close to Jamie’s, a needy plea in his eyes. The older man’s body was warm and quivering within the circle of his arms, his white clad legs stretched around his lower body.

“Please,” he moaned softly. “Please, Jamie… let me have you…”

This was unusual and foreign to the former pet. Drakkon wouldn’t have begged or asked permission; he would have used his body like a sex doll without regard for his thoughts and feelings.

“Kiddo, this can’t be a good idea. You’re so young that you can’t see the pitfalls of sleeping with me, what the consequences could be… Its hormones…”

The White Ranger’s face hardened imperceptibly at the mention of his age again.

“I’m old enough to make my own decisions. And I want you. I want Jason and Red too. All three of you. Red even called me master as I made him cum all over his belly…”

‘What the hell!’

‘I don’t remember that if I did do it!’ Red sputtered anxiously. ‘I certainly didn’t mean it like that! I.. well… He’s Drakkon’s Prime counterpart… I might have slipped… maybe…’

‘You dumbass! You’ve really made a fucking mess chasing the White Ranger’s dick! Now, he wants to be our new master! You better deal with that shit before it gets out of control! He’s been looking at us like an alpha predator all morning…’

“It’s not just hormones. I feel like I love you, Jamie. And Red too.”

“You can’t be in love with me, kiddo…”

“I know what I feel! If you were mine, Jamie, I would take care of you the way you deserve, not beat and degrade and torture you, not clip your wings like that dickhead did in the palace, not take away your freedom or passions. I would cherish the three of you, protect you….”

Again his lips devoured Jamie’s, the rain continuing to pelt their bare heads and running down in chilly rivulets down their faces. The older man was physically unable to pull his head back due to his contorted position, unable to speak with a mouthful of the White Ranger’s tongue eagerly trying to reach his tonsils…

When Tommy finally broke the lip lock, he dropped another shocking confession.

“I never stopped thinking about you, you know? I watched you walk away with Drakkon after you kissed me, preparing to leave with him and Jason to another planet… As scared as I was for Jason, I was scared for you too,” he breathed. “And even after you sent Jason back, after we thought you and Drakkon died on the Spectrum, I… I couldn’t get you out of my mind. It wasn’t fair what happened to you only for you to end up dying in the end.”

Jamie’s eyes were wide as he listened, the passion behind the younger Ranger’s words making him tear up despite his knowing this was a terrible idea…

“Please, Jamie… Give yourself to me… I’ll do anything.”

Behold, the illustration of my expressions throughout the fighting, the advancement, the truth revealed, and finally my decision that I hope Jamie punches Tommy in the face.

REMEMBER WHAT "CONSENT" MEANS, TOMMY? REMEMBER HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS? He can beg like a dog for as long as he wants and say how much he wants all three versions of this man until the cows come home, he still needs to get his nose broken for not understanding what 'no' means. How many more ways can Jamie say it???

[thaliajoy-blog]

Personal best ASOIAF quotes - part 2 (in no particular order)

⭐ "The stone is strong, the roots of the trees go deep, and under the ground the kings of winter sit their thrones. So long as those remained, Winterfell remained. It was not dead, just broken. I'm not dead either" (Bran Stark)

👉 don't let anyone tell you that Asoiaf is a nihilistic, dark, edgy universe. It is anything but. These last words of the second book, after so much misery has already happened to our dear protagonists, are full of hope. The world is broken but not dead, not dying. It can still be mended.

⭐ "Rubies flew like drops of blood from the chest of a dying prince, and as he sank to his knees in the water and with his last breath murmured a woman's name." (Daenerys visions)

👉 way to talk about a character and to sell him to you, peak romanticism. Poetic ✨. Rhaegar would have liked it.

⭐ "You never knew Lyanna as I did, Robert. You saw her beauty, but not the iron underneath." (Ned Stark)

👉 also superb and poetic (there's a good rhythm to that last sentence, it sounds just right, just like what it means should sound like). Adds to the sense of mystery around Lyanna & the fascination this other dead but romantic figure of the past can evoke in us. The binary between what Ned knew & what Robert knew.

⭐ "Some say knowledge is power. Some tell us that all power comes from the gods. Others say it derives from law. Yet that day on the steps of Baelor's sept, our godly High Septon and your queen regent and your ever-so-knowledgeable servant were as powerless as any cobbler or copper in the crowd. Who truly killed Eddard Stark, do you think ? Joffrey, who gave the command ? Ser Illyn Payne, who swung the sword ? Or...another ?

[...] Power resides where men believe it resides. No more, no less [...] A shadow on the wall. Yet shadows can kill. And oftimes a very small man can cast a very large shadow."

(Varys the Spider)

👉 the classic, of course. I always like these kind of things in fiction, essentially saying that the world's rules are based on complete illusions, that we live and we play in a world whose rules we could control but actually cannot, or at least not yet. Although given his ulterior motives it's possible that Varys is completely kidding with Tyrion there ça and severely underselling his part in Ned Stark's death and the unravelling chaos of Westeros.

⭐ "The world was simpler in those days, and men as well as swords were made of finer steel." (Jaime Lannister)

👉 peak nostalgia here, and that's also a big theme of the book. The idea that the world has gone off balance since their youth, because events happened, choices were made, people died that should not have, innocence was lost, people grew to be worse or to reveal themselves to be worse...the longing for the past is a sort of trauma response.

⭐ "You are her perfect prince, agreed, bright and bold and comely as any maid could wish. Daenerys Targaryen is no maid, however. She is the widow of a Dothraki khal, a mother of dragons and a sacker of cities, Aegon the Conqueror with teats. She may not prove as willing as you wish.

[...]

I know that she spent her childhood in exile, impoverished, living on dreams and schemes, running from one city to the next, always fearful, never safe, friendless but for a brother who was by all accounts half-mad... a brother who sold her maidenhood to the Dothraki for the promise of an army. I know that somewhere upon the grass, her dragons hatched, and so did she. I know she is proud. How not? What else was left her but pride? I know she is strong. How not? The Dothraki despise weakness. If Daenerys had been weak, she would have perished with Viserys. I know she is fierce. Astapor, Yunkai and Meereen are proof enough of that. She has survived assassins and conspiracies and fell sorceries, grieved for a brother and a husband and a son, trod the cities of the slavers to dust beneath her dainty sandaled feet." (Tyrion Lannister)

👉 this speech Tyrion makes remind you of how good with words he is, how perceptive he is, a good guesser, and also gives you chills hearing about the brazen brilliance of Daenerys' story. Most of the nuances of her life are there.

⭐ "When Jaime opened his eyes, he found himself staring at the stump of his sword hand. The hand that made me Kingslayer. The goat had robbed him of his glory and his shame, both at once. Leaving what? Who am I now ?" (Jaime Lannister)

👉 like this idea of a "tabula rasa" : Jaime by this "sacrifice" is now opened to new possibilities, by losing something he is gaining the chance to find other futures than what he (hadn't) imagined. So of course, major identity crisis at 30 and so...leading us to some of the best stuff in ASOIAF.

[bigsoftmarshmallow]

As the night continued, Zelda watched the room with growing fascination. Kotake and Koume were clearly weaving a careful web around Adria, dropping subtle hints about Gerudo courtship traditions and the kind of man Ganondorf had been raised to be. And much to Zelda’s surprise, Adria seemed to soak it all in, her initial wariness giving way to genuine interest.

It started innocently enough with a few anecdotes about Gerudo culture. Kotake and Koume explained how Gerudo women were raised with strict values when it came to relationships. “We’re taught to be strong and independent,” Kotake said, her tone filled with pride. “A Gerudo woman is a prize to be won, but not just by anyone. Our partners must prove themselves worthy.”

“Worthy how?” Adria asked, taking another sip of her drink, eyes gleaming with curiosity.

Koume smiled slyly. “Strength, loyalty, and devotion. It’s not enough to be strong of arm. They must be strong in heart, too. A partner who cannot match us in spirit is not worth our time.”

Adria seemed pleased by that, her head tilting slightly as she listened. “That’s… actually pretty amazing. I like that. No settling for less than you deserve.”

Zelda couldn’t help but smile at Adria’s reaction, noticing how much her friend was getting drawn into the conversation. It wasn’t lost on her that Kotake and Koume were slowly steering things toward a specific topic—Ganondorf.

“Ganondorf, of course, was no different,” Kotake chimed in smoothly. “Being the only voe born in centuries, he had to learn these same lessons, even if it wasn’t typical for a male.”

“Voe and Me,” Koume added with a chuckle. “It’s a class meant to teach young Gerudo women how to handle relationships of a romantic nature, but since Ganondorf didn’t have a class of his own… well, where else would he go?”

Adria blinked, her lips quirking into a smirk. “Voe means male, right?”

The twins looked pleasantly surprised, and Kotake nodded. “You’ve been paying attention.”

Adria shrugged, though she looked pleased. “I’ve been trying to learn a bit here and there.”

Zelda watched as the conversation effortlessly flowed back into stories about Ganondorf’s youth. Kotake and Koume began sharing tales of how they practically grew up alongside him, becoming his closest advisors, and how much time they had spent together.

“Despite being the only voe, he never acted entitled,” Koume said, her voice warm with nostalgia. “In fact, he worked harder than anyone, always trying to prove himself to the tribe. He wanted to be more than just a figurehead.”

Kotake grinned. “There was this one time… oh, this is a good one. Ganondorf was still young, maybe fifteen, and he got it in his head to take on a Lynel by himself.”

Zelda’s eyes widened. “A Lynel? At fifteen?”

Kotake nodded, her expression mischievous. “Oh yes. He had this plan—he was going to jump on its back and tame it, show it who’s boss.”

Adria burst out laughing, already sensing where the story was headed. “That sounds… ambitious.”

“Ambitious, and a complete disaster,” Koume said with a chuckle. “He managed to get on its back, alright, but the Lynel bucked him off so hard he went flying. He limped back to camp, barely hurt, but his pride was shattered.”

Adria’s laughter filled the room, bright and full of mirth. Zelda couldn’t help but smile at the sound, noticing how Adria’s features had softened completely. She was practically glowing as she listened to the twins’ stories, her guard fully down.

It was then that Zelda noticed something she hadn’t quite seen before: the way Adria’s expression changed whenever Ganondorf’s name came up. It wasn’t just interest or curiosity. No, it was something deeper, more profound. Her eyes softened, and her smile became gentler, almost syrupy, like she was remembering a cherished memory.

Zelda’s heart gave a small pang. It wasn’t just a fleeting crush, or some surface-level attraction. Adria was truly in love with him. And Zelda wasn’t sure if Adria even realized of how she was smiling yet.

Kotake and Koume seemed to notice it too. They exchanged a quick glance, pleased with how things were unfolding. They continued telling stories, most of them revolving around Ganondorf’s early years, his determination, his stubbornness, and even his moments of foolish pride. Every tale seemed to paint him in a different light—strong, ambitious, and deeply loyal to his people.

“He’s always been one to shoulder the weight of the world,” Kotake said quietly, her voice carrying a note of admiration. “Even now, as Chieftain, he puts the Gerudo before everything.”

Adria listened intently, her gaze distant as if lost in thought. “He sounds… incredible,” she murmured, almost to herself.

Zelda felt the urge to speak up, to somehow remind Adria of the complexities surrounding Ganondorf. There was more to him than just the strength and loyalty the twins spoke of—there was ambition, a hunger for power, and a darkness that Zelda couldn’t shake.

But as she watched Adria’s expression, she held her tongue. This wasn’t the time to bring up warnings or concerns. This was a night for laughter and stories, for bonding and letting loose. And maybe, just maybe, Adria needed this—needed to see the good in Ganondorf before the inevitable storm came.

For now, Zelda simply sat back and let the night unfold, watching as her friend allowed herself to smile and dream, even if just for a little while longer.

Changing Fate, Creating Destiny - LOZ TOTK Isekai

Part 1 2 3 (This is Part 3)

What was happening? Zelda couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted beneath her nose. Kotake and Koume, once elusive and distant, were now... casually hanging out with Adria? It was as if they had appointed themselves her personal guards. The strangest part was how relaxed Adria now seemed around them, treating them more like friends than protectors.

When Zelda had first inquired about their constant presence, Adria only shrugged, looking as confused as Zelda was. "I don't know," she had said, "they just... started hanging around."

Zelda, in her growing concern, had asked the Gerudo twins directly why they were spending so much time with Adria. Their response? Silence. They offered no explanation, their expressions as unreadable as ever. It was unsettling.

And yet... Adria, somehow, could get them talking. Zelda had watched, equal parts amazed and uneasy, as her friend asked the two stoic women about their weapons, their jewelry, even their clothing. Adria’s curiosity was boundless and unafraid, an openness Zelda herself would never show around the witches. But Adria didn’t seem to share the same wariness.

Koume, for example, had proudly shown Adria her golden spear, embedded with a ruby that gave it the power of fire. Kotake had demonstrated her twin scimitars, each adorned with sapphires that gave them an icy sharpness. Their faces, usually so cold and severe, softened—just slightly—as they humored Adria’s interest.

There was something gentle about the way they interacted with her, even though their sharp natures were still very much intact. It was odd to see these two powerful women acting like this, their amusement apparent whenever Adria spoke with them.

Zelda couldn’t help but worry. Why were they so attached to Adria? What did they want from her? More importantly, why did Adria seem so content around them? She couldn’t deny that her friend was still very much herself—walking alongside Zelda and treating her like a sister, sharing laughter and stories just as before—but now, Adria had these two warriors practically hovering in the background, always there, always watching.

And then there was the matter of training. Zelda had overheard Kotake and Koume gently—for them—trying to convince Adria to take up some form of combat training. They hadn’t pushed, but their persistence was clear. What were they hoping to achieve?

The lack of answers gnawed at Zelda, but she had nothing concrete to go on. No evidence. No accusations. Just a vague sense that something was off. And yet, how could she say anything when Adria seemed perfectly fine with it? No, more than fine—comfortable.

It was unsettling, but for now, Zelda resolved to watch carefully. She wouldn’t make the mistake of letting her guard down, not when Kotake and Koume were involved. But she also wouldn’t push too hard. If Adria was happy and unharmed, Zelda would allow this strange arrangement to continue.

Still... she'd remain vigilant. Watching and waiting. There was more to this than met the eye, she was sure of it. But for now, she would treat the situation with care. Kindness wouldn’t hurt—but neither would caution.

[nutty1005]

The new and starstudded “A Dream Like A Dream”, is the starting point, not the ending point, of Xiao Zhans

Original Article: https://m.thepaper.cn/newsDetail_forward_12542131 Original Author: 程辉剧场手记 The author published this in Pengpai News and shared on his Weibo Post on 6 May 2021.

Andante Cantabile, my most beloved music by Tchaikovsky, came from his String Quartet No. 1 in D major, every time it would painfully touch my heart, poet Xi Murong also used this to caption a melancholic poem. I thought, using it to sum up Lai Shengchuan’s representative work, “A Dream Like A Dream”, would be most apt.

“A Dream Like A Dream” lasts for 8 hours, this is something rare in Chinese theaters. Using the doctor as the first person, Patient No. 5 recalled and narrated in his narration, a surreal stage arrangement, emotions, life, fate, culture and societal upheaval, bringing tears to fog up your eyes. After 9 years of continued changes in the crew, Yanghua Theater brought in a new version with actors such as Xu Qing, Feng Xianzhen, Ge Xinyi, Xiao Zhan, Yan Nan, Zhang Liang, Huang Lu, Kong Wei, etc. The new version rivaled the quality of its predecessors, but yet bestowed a new presentation and expression.

A unique city was the backdrop for its first showing and the chance fate of the characters within the play allowed us to truly understand the nature of impermanence. In the play, there was an important term called “self-exchange”, which was said to come from an ancient practice from South Asia, by “breathing” with the others, so as to gift health and happiness, and remove his pain and misfortune. “A Dream Like A Dream” was a play that spoke of the search for the meaning of life, did it also deliberately “self-exchange” with the audience then? Once we understood the concept of “self-exchange”, we could also see that it was also a request to communicate with the reserved hearts of the contemporary person.

The fates of Gu Xianglan and Patient No. 5 were the two main timelines in “A Dream Like A Dream”, and the other timelines served to supplement or trigger the former. Patient No. 5’s motive came from “searching”, Gu Xianglan’s came from “chasing”. The chaser is the key to enlightening the searcher, the searcher became the resolution for the chaser, although they had different obsessions in their lives, they both came together in the end. Gu Xianglan’s deathbed confession to Patient No. 5 was not simply just an apology in her dazed state, but also her most unforgettable, wonderful and romantic memories of love; Patient No. 5, with his concern, consideration and inquiries, was like the listener from heaven, the guiding light to aid the soul in letting go of her regrets.

The 2021 Yanghua version of “A Dream Like A Dream” maintained its previous feature of multiple actors to one role, and multiple roles to one actor. Xu Qing, Feng Xianzhen, Ge Xinyi acted as after going abroad, old age and before going abroad versions of Gu Xianglan respectively. From the “peerless beauty” socialite of the brothels in Shanghai Beach, to the Baroness of a French Ambassador, to an artist, then to a maid, a sweeper of roads and alleys, to the lonely elderly in the hospital, she went through indescribable ups and downs.

Xu Qing had acted as Gu Xianglan since the play’s debut, and in the new version, her portrayal had already been exquisitely refined, the Gu Xianglan in her prime is lovely and graceful, but yet proud and wild, sensitive and emotional, as though Gu Xianglan’s soul had fully occupied her body. In addition to the true to form portrayal of the amorous nature of Gu Xianglan, her performance was exceptionally focused on the details of the silent scenes. When she and Xiao Zhan’s Patient No. 5 gazed at each other, when teary eyes met with clear eyes; from afar it seemed like she was looking at her younger self about to go onto a journey of no return, the resigned helplessness and the restless hope looked at each other; when realizing that the lost Baron had once returned, her astonished and sharp glares of anger; when Wang Debao found the tiny loft she stayed in by chance, her stealing glances were surprised and flustered… They were all full of the character’s aura and emotional tension, and the pain took the audiences by their hearts.

Senior actress Feng Xianzhen’s portrayal of the elderly version of Gu Xianglan was quite different from the version by the previous actress Lu Yan, which allowed the audiences to experience the wonder of plays due to different characterization. Lu Yan’s version was one that remained elegant and proud despite her tribulations, there was more calm and temperance, which would make the audiences respect the tenacity of this legendary lady. Feng Xianzhen’s version was a Gu Xianglan who went to France from Shanghai, and back to Shanghai from France, twice she found freedom and twice she fell. The cruelty of fate had ripped away all of the pretentiousness, the charm of her past had been lost, she was like every ordinary person. She would scheme cigarettes from strangers, curse as she liked with phrases such as “bastard”, “no good-doers in Taiwan”, mock those relatives who came to look after her as those who came for their inheritance. She fully portrayed the effects of her unfortunate life and her bitterness at the world, which made the audiences sigh in sadness.

Facing these two powerful actresses in portraying the same role, Ge Xinyi as the young Gu Xianglan, had a lot of pressure. Her performance was more inclined to a lonely beauty, the purity despite her circumstances, so as to provide a solid motive for the Baron and Wang Debao’s unrestrained infatuation. As a newcomer to the theater, her steady control was not an easy task, and should be praised for it. If she would be more open, layered and flavorful in her portrayal, the characterization would be better. After all, Gu Xianglan was the top courtesan within the midst of love and affairs, and the quiet and calm of a learned lady would be quite different from that.

Patient No. 5 was a journeyman of life. In the beginning, he suffered painful setbacks from the death of his child and the loss of his wife, and started a self-exiled wanderlust. His marriage came by mistake, almost like a replacement for his wife’s frustrating relationship. Fate caused him to lose his spirit, but he was unwilling to give up, hence he wanted to search for his wife, as though he wanted to search for himself. His encounter with Jiang Hong, was the wanderers’ sympathy for each other and to rely on each other. Only when he walked into the French castle and saw the tranquil and woeful eyes of Gu Xianglan, he seemed to see himself at the far coast of the lake, the cumulative rage and sorrow in both their hearts, their collective unwillingness to concede suddenly exploded, and he decisively dropped everything to find the lady in the painting. He did not know what question was ignited then, but he started his search for the dream of life.

In terms of the control of this character, Xiao Zhan and Yan Nan definitely put in a lot of efforts, they were highly immersive. What was even more rare was that, although their performances had different focuses, but they were both very united in terms of aura, body language, speech, pace and habitual actions, as though the two actors in the same stage were truly one character. For such a complete creation, you need not only tacit understanding.

Xiao Zhan’s performance exceeded my expectations. Despite it being his debut in a play, his performance was not even the least bit disjointed, and he was even able to merge his own personality characteristics with the role itself. His actions, pace and emotions gave a smooth interplay between tension and relaxation. The portrayal of innocent, naive, youthful, kind and fragile Patient No. 5, his unpreparedness in matters of love, was especially suitable as a youth who just joined society. It made the random encounter in the cinemas as the prelude of love more believable, and also gave a firm foundation to his actions later on, the multiple setbacks in later on, his wanderings, and his endless searching. With his wife and Jiang Hong, he had different relationships, the former was a budding first love, the latter came from empathy, Xiao Zhan had slightly different portrayal for the different phases of space and time, the cycle from simple to confusion, from searching to questioning, there was careful understanding and detailed handling. After discovering Gu Xianglan’s tracks, the clear longing that Xiao Zhan gave off collided with the layered longing from Xu Qing after her tribulations, was like the undercurrents under a calm lake, it drew in the rousing emotions, and became the strong force that pushed the story forward.

Xiao Zhan has the ability and the reason to achieve much better results in future theater stages. With time, if he could become even more at ease with the control of his body, if he could be even more accurate during the changes of character condition, I trust that he could achieve another breakthrough, and create even more challenging characters.

Reprising Patient No. 5 after many years, Yan Nan was obviously even more in-depth with his understanding of the script and character, and gifted the character a melancholy aura similar to those of an ancient poet, the quiet tones and deep glances became the key feature. The sense of accumulation of the vicissitudes, merged with Xiao Zhan’s portrayal, realized the continuation of the character’s fate. His performance on the hospital bed contrasted with Gu Xianglan on her hospital bed in a different time, and manifested Patient No. 5’s enlightenment after his miles of wandering, the person on the bed is awake, but those not were instead still dreaming. His calmness held the strings of every timeline together.

Zhang Liang’s portrayal of the Baron was the surprise of the show. If the old version’s Baron and Gu Xianglan was like the contest between eagle and the wild pigeon, the huge difference in power created the tragedy that made the audiences sad. The 2021 Yanghua version’s Baron and Gu Xianglan was like a pair of heavenly cranes, but they sang different notes as they flew to each other, and became a pair of lovebirds who hurt each other as they fell. The Baron became more romantic, more gentle and loving, but he remained prideful as he was still a noble beneath that amicable exterior, this was Zhang Liang’s new expression to the character, this also elevated Gu Xianglan’s difficulty in her choice, and even more so contrasted Gu Xianglan’s “evil” in her woeful revenge, and also left a branching point to the remaining love. His love for Gu Xianglan was true, it was not possession, but he loved the Oriental beauty, the caged Gu Xianglan, not the wild and free Gu Xianglan. Letting go and abandoning was his hopelessness for his lover, he felt that Gu Xianglan was letting herself go, she was betraying and depraving her beauty, he felt that his efforts were painfully wasted, it was not an attack on an escaped prey. This kind of portrayal made us wonder – love, was it to love a person, or was it to love an ideal? Love was to give or to receive? Was the ultimate goal of giving receiving?

The tragedy between Baron and Gu Xianglan became a tragedy of conflict between culture, social status and ideals. The difference between Baron and Gu Xianglan, did not merely exist on levels of culture and artistic ideals, but it was down to different life goals due to different cultural influences. It was hard for Baron to understand that his love only moved Gu Xianglan from a smaller cage to another bigger cage, even if he loved her deeply; Gu Xianglan who struggled for survival in a twisted environment, simply wanted to escape her cage, even if it meant poverty. This type of tragedy could not simply be explained with the character’s personality. The energy from repeated characterization is evident.

Huang Lu as Jiang Hong was a character that was rather difficult to grasp in “A Dream Like A Dream”. In her portrayal, Jiang Hong was an ordinary girl, who went through multiple troubles but was always chosen, besides her strong sense of survival, I almost could not see more personality. I remembered that I had brief flashes of a parallel universe while cooking eggs one morning, that was the state that she could not find herself or her position in life. She claimed herself as “the original Jiang Hong was dead, the Jiang Hong who arrived in Paris never existed” wanderer, her “relationship” with Patient No. 5 was merely a chance encounter in life, both of them were scared and questioning whether they should “fall into another relationship”. Huang Lu’s performance was very restrained, controlled, and tried hard to make herself not stand out, to do it to this extent was quite difficult. When she was talking about her stowaway escape, there was a point for emotional explosion, but yet she had to control it within the fine line between “surviving the calamity” and “unable to calm herself”. For this actress who was nominated multiple times for international awards and also won a national acting award, this was a rare stage experience.

Kong Wei, who just took off her costume in “Thunder Rain”, portrayed Shi Li Hong, the Mama-san of “Fairy Court”, in “A Dream Like A Dream”. Scheming and cunning in worldly matters, but yet she maintained her own sense of righteousness with Gu Xianglan and her sisters, fleshed out the character with even more emotions. Especially when the drunk professor professed his love for her, her teasing and forced calmness was mixed with surprise and shyness, as every emotion came at the same time, she managed them with ease, not only was the set brightly colored, there was also the sudden exposure of the character’s personality. Wang Peiyu who acted as the young Wang Debao, also showed the character’s clumsiness and stubbornness, his portrayal of passionate love was on point, which was just as brilliant.

There were many characters in “A Dream Like A Dream”, the group’s shared brilliance could not be forgotten, many actors who acted as multiple roles displayed exceeding energy. This came down to the Yanghua creativity production team, lead by Art Director Wang Keran, who had astute senses in actor selection as well as careful detailing in every part of the creation.

Luo Yongjuan, who portrayed a puppet in “Jewish City” and Li Zonglei, who had many important roles in many dramas and plays, both portrayed over 10 characters, and outstandingly completed the character creation for all of these different roles. Ruan Li, who portrayed the cousin, the dancer, the child, etc, also contributed multiple talents. Wang Weiqian, who portrayed Aunt Jin, the tourist, etc; Sun Zhongyi, who portrayed the professor, the old servant, etc, they all left deep impressions.

To display the characters but not to display themselves, this was the forefront of all theater actors, this was done by Xu Qing and Xiao Zhan, Zhang Liang and other stars, this was the respect they gave the play, the stage, the audience and themselves.

When the first kissing scene appeared for Xiao Zhan, part of the audiences were controlled but there were still some excessive “fan” reactions, but this did not interrupt his performance pace, this reminded me that Xu Qing and Hu Ge version also had the same situation many years ago. We could see that the actors were immersed, they prepared mental homework for every segment and detail, this was the hard work and the goal of both the production and the actors. Putting in efforts into acting and solely seeking the effects of celebrity, these are two totally different things after all.

When rehearsing or refreshing old classic plays, most of the time, methods such as subversion, recreation or simple replay were used. 2021 Yanghua’s version of “A Dream Like A Dream” is a case of production relying on the new cast to continuously discover deeper understandings, to recreate, and then to give audience a new icing on the cake while ensuring the quality of the play.

I was interviewed after the debut showing and said that this play was the Xiao Zhan’s starting point and not his ending point, and I also hoped that more capable actors would come to the theater stage, focus on the creation of art, and from that we could forge our own generation of quality “full celebrities”, such as Jin Shan, Shi Hui, Bai Yang, Zhang Ruifang, Shu Xiuwen, Laurence Olivier, Marlon Brando, Vivien Leigh, etc, of China. On the international theatrical stage, this is just commonplace.

[pomegranates-and-blood]

νοσταλγία (Chapter 12)

νοσταλγία  Masterlist

Pairing: Ivar/Reader

Summary: This is a retelling/romantization of the Greek myth of Persephone’s  abduction with Ivar as Hades and you as Persephone. The Reader character is a Byzantine woman, follower of the Greek Pantheon/Religion, and a devoted follower of Persephone. This takes place after 5A, but the universe of this is a little changed in relation with the series, of course. Thank you for giving it a chance, hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 4.2k  

Warnings: The usual

A/N: Hi, so...either in this chapter I completely dissapoint you or I pleasantly surprise you, I’m very much hoping for the latter lol. I would love to hear your thoughts on this, cause I’m an insecure little fuck and I’m very afraid you’ll all hate this chapter and where the story goes from now on lol

Taglist: @youbloodymadgenius​ @heavenly1927 @toe-vind-ek-jou @xbellaxcarolinax @pieces-by-me​

Decided to post this a day earlier cause ffs, between the fucking election and minks with covid and destiel and putin, the world doesn’t make sense anymore. So fuck it, have some Ivar :)

“Word has it that the King has made you a free woman.” The girl whispers, handing you a piece of bread and sitting beside you, looking out at the stars.

“Mhm.”

“We’ve known you were more than a prisoner since the moment you arrived, though.” She quips quietly.

“Oh.” You can only mutter, but the surprise is written in your face.

Freydis smiles, warm and a little cold at the same time, “It is written in the way you walk, witch. You were never a slave, were you?”

“If you are asking if the Saxons kept me a prisoner, the answer is no. That privilege seems to be reserved for your King.” If your last words drip with venom and anger, she does not mention it. You dare think she understands.

“I was. But now, like you, I am free,” Freydis sentences, and this does bring your attention back to her eyes. Depthless blue eyes, perverse and innocent, relentless and broken. When the girl leans closer, you don’t move. Her words are barely a whisper, but carry the strength of the vow you hissed at Stithulf, “Neither you or me will die slaves to men.”

“To whom, then?”

“The Gods. Yours or mine, I do not know,” She answers simply, fierce when she hisses the words at you, “But we mustn’t settle with mortal men. What we have suffered, it has to…mean something. It has to mean we are destined for more, that we are more.”

“Sometimes pain is just pain, Freydis.” You offer quietly, but her mind is set. You wonder for a moment if these thoughts were what made her spirit survive her time as a slave.

“No,” She shakes her head, stubborn, “We are broken because our fate is to be strong, we are…we are defiled because we are to rise above it.”

You roll your eyes, and even if the conversation remains quiet in the dead of night your voice is strong when you argue, “Did Freyja release you from your binds? Will Despoina release me from mine?” The pain lacers at your heart, but you insist, “No. I shall not be thankful for an unending fight to survive.”

“Yet you survive.”

She is not talking about surviving the Byzantine warriors’ almost successful attempt to silence you like they did your mother. She is not talking about surviving the pain of years, centuries, that marks your soul, a pain that Freydis may not know about but understands regardless.

No. She’s talking of the ‘freedom’ you have garnered here in her homeland, of what it means to be a free woman in a world that steps over the ones that cannot fight like men. She is talking of surviving Ivar the Boneless.

As your eyes meet, different stories, different agonies, and different destinies meet as well; but you feel she understands, better than almost anyone, what guided your words, your steps, your promises, that made an army be laid at your feet, to make a mad King set you free.

“King Ivar was the one to free you.” You say quietly, leaning away from the girl. It is not even a question, is a realization. All her words, all her advice…she spoke from experience, more specific experience than you thought.

“He wasn’t a king then.”

A hopeless laugh leaves your lips, “What men like Ivar the Boneless need you to be, you become.” You repeat her words from a few weeks ago, a new meaning to them altogether.

The girl laughs as well, the sound dainty and musical even if it carries iron beneath, “Although now I realize you may have been too arrogant to lie.”

All you can offer her is a shrug and a sigh as you say, “I die on my own terms, with my own face, Freydis.”

“But you didn’t. Die, that is,” She insists, smile on her pale face that you find yourself starting to return in kind. Her hand settles on your knee and she squeezes and you wonder if it is in comfort or something else. “Whatever you are, he wants to keep for himself.”

You say nothing else, turning your gaze back into the sky outside, suddenly reminded of the circumstances that brought you here, of the invisible chains that still remain on you, of how you have failed to become what you ought to.

If we must, we will die. Resisting, like your mother and I taught you.

And yet you cower and accept scraps of freedom at the first chance you have. Shame and resentment fill your heart, and your mother’s favorite piece of jewelry hanging from your neck feels like a noose when your fingers toy with the old metal.

“Did you seduce him?” Freydis starts suddenly, dragging you away from your thoughts so quickly you find yourself disoriented.

You blink a couple of times before you can answer with anything other than a wordless sound to her question.

“What?”

She shrugs with one of her shoulders, drinking from her own cup of warm milk before explaining, “You earned your freedom, or whatever measure of it that you don’t seem to be happy with. Did you bed him for it?”

It should be insulting, but her clear eyes tell you she does not shame you for it. She seems almost…impressed. It still makes something churn at your insides, and you find yourself hating the world that bound her and made her a slave a little bit more.

“No,” You say, slowly, “Was I expected to?”

Did you? Is what your words whisper but you don’t dare voice, although you have an inkling that she hears it regardless. Her eyes remain on you for a few moments too long, and the start of a knowing smile curves at her lips.

The girl still shakes her head in response, “I was curious.”

“Why?” If you sound harsh, if what Sieghild calls your ‘Athenian nobility’ is heard in your tone, Freydis does not mention it.

“He wants you, you know that. Half of Kattegat wants you.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

She shrugs, “Word runs that he has never taken a woman to his bed. Earls have even gifted him noble women and slaves, but he never accepts them.

A part of you wants to ask why she is aware of all this. You remain silent however, looking back out at the stars and wondering why does she believe the King’s cock and its use or lack thereof is something you are interested in discussing.

“It’s not about beauty, the women brought in were the most beautiful I have seen,” She continues on, talking to herself as she recalls, “It’s also not about…power. Most I have seen wouldn’t be sharp-witted enough to try to get something out of him either.”

She seems to be willing to babble on, but a sharp voice interrupts you, no matter how quiet it is.

“Girl,” One of the older women chastises, gaze set on Freydis. “Eyes and ears follow the witch. Be careful.”

You are stunned into silence, as is the girl next to you, and when the quiet of night settles upon you, you can hear the rustling of leather and the deep breaths of soldiers set outside your door.

His guest. You guess to them being a guest just means a looser set of chains, or invisible shackles.

True fear settles in the girl’s pale eyes, and you reach to place a hand in her knee, placating her. The older woman, you do not know her name, motions so that you both move closer to the crackling fire and away from the windows.

“It will do you no good to gossip like this about any son of Ragnar, especially Ivar,” She advices, but a glint in her eye tells you of times in her youth spent just like this. She leans closer, and whispers, “And also, despite the rumors, you must remember he is a hot-blooded young man commanding an army, you oaf.”

“Maybe it’s about control,” The blonde ponders, side-glance directed at you. After a breath, she shrugs, “Maybe you were brought all the way here just to be fucked, witch.”

Freydis ends her sentence in a giggle, her voice quiet and eyes shining. The young girl behind the past suffering and fear.

The old woman smiles, and points towards you with her head, “She speaks like one of our own, she better fuck like one too.”

Her jest is well-meaning even if insulting, and used already to Sieghild’s equally brash humor, you only roll your eyes with a laugh.

The three of you continue exchanging secrets of this land and its people till the moon is high up the sky. It helps with the feeling of shame, the feeling of having betrayed your purpose; it helps, but it doesn’t quieten the voices that demand to know why you get the right to spend the night next to a warm fire laughing and exchanging stories while your people’s corpses are still fresh, while the survivors await the embrace of the incoming winter to let go of their strength.

When the whispers quieten, when the city sleeps, when you are left alone with your thoughts; you realize what a mistake you have made.

You were taught to fight, you were taught to resist. The Gods made you smart and ambitious, and it was for a reason. It may be Fate you are to cross paths with the Varangian, but it is not written that you are to be bound to him, you refuse to believe so.

You have fought with claws and teeth before, you have lied and kissed and promised to avoid bindings. There is no reason why you shouldn’t now, no reason why foolish thoughts and feelings should stop you from doing what you have before.

Fight. To return to your people. To remain free. To overcome.

And so, letting go of the guilt of not trying enough but with a new sort of guilt and shame settling upon you, you depart the apothecary towards the main hall in the dead of night.

You are not stupid, you know the Viking wants you, at least slightly, at least begrudgingly. And he knows he cannot get any political advantage from making you his wife, he may even lose power by making you queen. There aren’t many things he can force out of you, so that leaves your body.

So, if it is your body he wants, you will let him have it, in whatever way he sees fit.

When it is done, when the foreignness is no longer mysterious, when you make the allure of whatever it is dissipate; then it will be easier to make him see that this was not ordained by the Gods, not his and definitely not yours.

You thank the warrior that leads you to the quarters with a nod and a silent smile, wondering in the back of your mind when or how these men got directions that you are to be allowed in the King’s chambers when he hasn’t called for you.

It surprises you that he hasn’t yet gone to sleep, makes you wonder what he has entertained himself with. A foolish thought of it being a someone that entertains the King at night makes you clench your jaw.

Still, you stand in wait, letting curious eyes wander over the spacious room. When the uneven steps reach your ears, followed by the fainter footsteps of two slaves, you straighten your back and face the doorway.

King Ivar’s eyes widen when he finds you in the room, quickly moving over your form in the red dress before he dismisses the slaves with a gesture of his hand.

You keep your eyes on his, but there has never been a time you have shown less in your gaze. He sits down, discarding the crutch at his side, and you walk closer even though your legs shake and your hands tremble.

Playing games kept you from your freedom, but…playing games may keep you from chains this time.

You’d prefer iron shackles on your wrists and ankles for a thousand years if it meant not having to be an unwilling wife before Gods that, although you don’t worship, you respect and believe in.

Your steps falter, and your heart remembers the consequences of the last time you lied in exchange for freedom. The words in your head are promises that this is no different from Narses, even if Narses was kind, and sane, and you cared for him.

What men like Ivar the Boneless need you to be, you become.

You reach up, keeping your eyes on his, and let the dress drop down to the floor, leaving you bare to hungry blue eyes that immediately trace over your body.

His lips part before he speaks, and he seems to stammer for a moment before he asks, “W-What are you…?”

“I know you want me,” You offer, a little entranced by the desire, the fear, the struggle for control that you see written all over his face; taking a small step forward before you realize it. You shake yourself off your stupor, standing straighter. With what feels like your last breath before a defeated descent to Hades, you whisper, “You don’t have to make me your wife, whatever you want you can get without marrying me.”

Any wonder, any trace of desire and boyish vulnerability you could see written all over his face, shining in his hungry eyes; it all disappears with your words.

His expression hardens and his nose furrows on a snarl, his voice gravelly and almost disgusted as he motions dismissively towards you.

“Get dressed.”

You startle, and resist the urge to cover yourself with your hands.

“W-What?”

“I said get dressed. I do not want your pity.”

Your brow furrows along with your nose, and although with trembling hands you grab onto the linen and cover yourself, you still grit out,

“It’s not pity. It’s…desperation.”

“Desperation?”

“I cannot be bound to you, I cannot be made into your wife.” You try, and the pleading tone of your voice makes disgust at yourself churn at your insides.

“Are you ashamed you will have to be the wife to a cripple, hm? Disgusted?” He taunts, the flip of a coin and back into the cruel rage you have faced before, although with a different, more raw edge to it as he presses, “Is that it?”

And as before, the glimpse of something real, the victory of drawing something human out of the monster that bears the crown makes your own back straighten, your own voice turn into steel.

“That you think your legs are the reason I would have for not wanting to be your wife, King Ivar, tells me all I need to know about you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” He spits out, and even as his raised voice puts you on edge, you still run your hands through your hair as you start placing, “Do not walk away from me!”

You turn back to him with wide eyes and quickened breath. But it is not fear, it’s rage. For a moment when your eyes meet you want to dare him to make you fear him, but the arrogance beats the desire to prove your foolish heart wrong, and you spit out,

“You have had me chained and humiliated; you have forced me to become something I do not want to!” Your nose furrows and your eyebrows crease, but your voice lowers and you settle the fury in your voice as you answer his question, “And you thinking me being against all this charade has anything to do with your legs makes me realize in your mind all of this,” You gesture around you, “is somehow alright.”

His nose furrows, his lip curls in a snarl before he argues, “It is Fate!”

“Why!? Because you say so!?” You shake your head, “Impressive a man as you may be, you are not yet a Manteion.”

“A what!?”

Of course he doesn’t know, how could he, how could anyone in this cold and foreign place know at all what you mean when you speak in your tongue, to your Gods, about your world.

Letting all the breath leave your lungs, you let yourself fall to the ground, hiding your face in your hands.

“Our worlds are so different, Ivar, how can you think that-…” You sigh, “I do not belong here, I do not belong here with you.”

“Well, you are here.”

You are here with me.

And his arrogance as he says it, his pride, his power, you have known those for a long time, you have seen them in familiar faces and strangers. You have been forced to accept them, accept their rule over you simply because of the way the world is, for too long now.

Your calves grow warmer before the fire, but even if you put your legs above the burning wood it wouldn’t feel as stinging and as burning as the red mark now on your cheek.

The reminder, the thought of it alone, makes your weak hands tremble and your eyes fill with useless tears.

“Tis your pride hurting more than your face, little one.” Sieghild starts, but even if there is the start of a jest in her words, there’s gravity in her voice.

“He had no right to-…”

“He did,” She interrupts. And it is the truth, and it makes you clench your jaw and look away from her green eyes. “You wounded his pride, most men don’t take kindly to that offense.”

You stay silent, because you know. And you know you spoke out of place, you know you acted like a child, wanting things out of your reach. You know you should have lowered your eyes, shut your mouth.

Still…

“Is what he said true?” You ask meekly, feeling the burn of shame at the base of your throat. “That they can…take me?”

“As a prisoner?” The Viking leans back on her bed, a crooked smile on her inked face, “They can try.”

“As a concubine.”

Your mother focuses on you, “You are my daughter, little one. They can force no binds on you.”

“What do you mean?”

Sieghild smiles, with that same smile that speaks of a world of liberties women where you come from could never even fathom.

“You need me to say yes!” You yell before you can stop the words from leaving your lips, and you can only watch with widened eyes and a hand over your treacherous mouth as Ivar the Boneless turns to look at you again, the arrogant ire shining in his clear eyes. You scramble to stand, your eyes wide and hand still somewhat covering your mouth.

“What?”

He heard you. This would be your opportunity to take back your words, to take back your resistance, to accept surrender. You waged war against the very Empire the last time you were asked to surrender, though.

“You need my consent for us to be married, Varangian,” You state instead, the words fast and your breath also. You stand up, hands tightened to fists. A flinch of anger passes over the King’s expression as he presses his lips together, irritated that you are apparently so bent on being free. Yes, truly scandalous of you. You swallow your own irritation down and insist, “I am a free woman, you can’t force me.

He considers you quietly for a moment, and before he has a chance to argue, you remind him,

“You won’t break a promise, so you won’t make me a slave,” Even if your voice shakes, you continue, “I-I know of your ways, of…of your Gods. This wasn’t arranged, and since I’m free you need me to say yes.”

He hears the words you don’t say: And I will say no.

After a moment of stubbornly considering you, the King merely shakes his head.

“You have already been given to me.”

“That Christian has no claims to me, and you know this.” You tell him, speak ing of Stithulf and his useless chains.

“I’m not talking about him,” Ivar says, cold smile on his face as he leans on his crutch and serves a goblet of mead. He lifts the cup to you in offering, but you remain in your spot. With a sigh of both disappointment and irritation, the King gulps down the drink and clarifies, “I’m talking about your mother.”

“My mother is dead.” You say without hesitation, although a pit of fear starts opening at your stomach.

But he shakes his head, lifting a finger from his hold on the cup and pointing to you as he corrects, “I don’t mean the Greek one.”

“You are lying,” Is all you say as you look into Ivar’s eyes, your voice trembling as much as the rest of your body. Your nails dig into your palms but you cannot help it, you cannot tell your body to uncoil, not until you hear the truth. “You are lying to play with my head.”

“How would I know Sieghild Vorsdottir, King Rorik’s wife, famed shieldmaiden from the Danes, is the woman that raised you?” He offers, and with each word the ground under your feet dissolves more and more, “She came to me, told me she gave me your hand. I have witnesses.”

No, no, she would never. All those years, telling you to stand tall, teaching you not to bite your tongue, it cannot all have been for her to ditch you and sell you off to the first king you encounter.

You want to think this rationally, you want to remain calm and look for the truth but…

A part of you that will always be her child, that will always love her like the mother you lost too soon; that part of you leaves you with your hands shaking and your throat clogged with only one word.

Móðir…

“She would never do that, she…” You close your eyes with a deep breath, “If she did such a thing, she told you why.”

“She said she had to, that it was fate.”

“You are lying.” The words are choked, the last grasp of a dying hope.

“Would you stop with that? I am not lying.”

Sieghild’s sad and loving eyes on you, her hand holding your face, “I have asked Freya for help ever since we arrived in Scandinavia. She has answered.”

Frantic questions leave your lips, but in her smile there’s the same resignation you saw when she said goodbye as you readied to face the Byzantines for what was supposed to be your death, “The Seer’s words-…it does not matter anymore.”

“She said-…she knew all this time,” You choke out, wide eyes searching the nothing before you for answers, “Her visions, the Seer’s words, she…she knew.”

There’s a strange moment of hesitation, a breath of uncertainty where you think the Viking is trying to find a way to comfort you.

“Prophecies, visions…it is usually too late to change the result when we realize what the Seer’s words mean.” Is what he finally settles on saying.

Foolish, stubborn tears sting at your eyes, and it is with a shaky hand you reach to hold on tight to your mother’s necklace, despair cursing through your veins.

The Völva offers you a small smile, equally mocking and apologetic, “Run if you want to, fight, kick, scream. Fate will drag you home by the wrists, child. You know how this tale goes. The chariot’s pace will tear the world asunder as darkness goes looking for you.”

Your eyes trace over the skyline, almost frantically searching for an answer you know you will not find there.

“This…this place,” You look over the sea, feeling your chest tighten. “This was Ragnar’s pride. Sieghild’s tales…this is Queen Aslaug’s home. The empty throne.”

“You are not making any sense.”

“I was supposed to come here, before I even returned to Greece. I was-…Sieghild, she knew we were to return to her homeland, to that place ruled by a witch from the Danes.

You turn to him with wide eyes, a manic laugh bubbling up in your chest at the realization. For once, the King stays silent, watching you raptly.

“She knew it was fate. We ran from it, I ran from it.

It is with wide eyes and parted lips you look at the man before you, now in a new light, now with a new weight over your shoulders and heart.

“I have no choice,” The revelation is stealing the air from your lips, but with cracked tones you whisper, “I am…I am to be here. It is fate I become your wife.”

Fate. You never thought a word that once brought you so much comfort would make you feel so devastated.

“I will not be a bad husband for you,” He promises after a moment of silence, voice as uncertain as his eyes searching yours, “You will want for nothing, you will be respected by our people, I...I will take care of you.

You nod, but stay silent as the weight of it all settles upon you. You don’t know what is expected out of you now, what fight can you conjure up, what you can try -and see fail, again- to try and escape these…these invisible shackles.

There’s a moment of quiet, and the man moves in his seat, settling back in place with a posture that in anything other than a monster would make you think he’s sheepish, awkward.

His voice is low, almost hesitant as he offers, “You can ask for anything you want.”

You look at him out of the corner of your eye, “I do not ask for things I do not deserve, my King.”

Maybe it is time you stop asking for freedom.

____

Kay so Ivar’s words at the end are inspired on Hades’ speech to Persephone in the Homeric Hymns: “(…) feel kindly in your heart towards me: be not so exceedingly cast down; for I shall be no unfitting husband for you among the deathless gods, that am own brother to father Zeus. And while you are here, you shall rule all that lives and moves and shall have the greatest rights among the deathless gods: those who defraud you and do not appease your power with offerings, reverently performing rites and paying fit gifts, shall be punished for evermore."

Anyhow, I would love to hear what you think of this chapter and of where the story has led. I hope I haven’t dissapointed you, honestly.

Thank you so much for reading and I hope to see you next Tuesday!! Love you all :)

[nextwarden]

Webtoons are good for the soul [Long post] [but worth it] [hopefully]

Bit of a long one (for a change...), sorry.

I haven’t read that many that’s a lie but here are my favs!

Lore Olympus by Rachel Smythe [ongoing - every Sunday]

or when Hades met Persephone. It’s a love story, fluffy yet deep and sad at times. Very well told and with incredible art (as you can see from the cover ci-dessus), in a pastel/watercolour fluid style, as is the storytelling. It has compelling characters, character growth, love, funny moments, and basically the best you could ask from a romantic story. And it had enough material to get you through good number of hours of reading before you have to break down every sunday in wait of the following week like the rest of us.

mah-hart-mah-sole/10

Love Advice From the Great Duke of Hell by unfins [ongoing - every Friday]

Paul is in love with a cute girl who works in a café nearby. But Paul is shy and can’t work out how to go ask her out. So Paul does what anyone would do and summons one of the Great Dukes of Hell in order to get better at fumbling his sentences and blushing at beautiful maidens. It’s about discovery of one’s true self and how getting deep into shenanigans will lead you to find so much more. Also, sister. (You’ll understand when you get there.)

It’s funny but also compelling and serious but still incredibly funny. I don’t think I’ve laughed as much reading any other webtoon and yet the story is also really cool. It strikes a perfect balance, or near perfect. The expressions and the action scenes are just incredible too.

chenandeler bong/10

Suitor Armor by Purpah [ongoing - every Friday]

In a land with magic and war between humans and fairies, Lucia is the princess’s lady in waiting and her only goal in life at the moment is to get her Lady to have the wedding she wishes for and deserves. But then she gets a flower from a magic armor and everything changes. Also, she’s a fairy.

It’s well drawn, characters all seem unique, varied and personnality-driven. The art style is beautiful. It’s also deeper than what I expected, with inklings of different types and levels of drama.

Alright, I’ll say it, it feels like a ‘promising new Lore Olympus’. By which I mean not to compare but simply to say I felt as taken by the story as I did with L.O.

Modeus/10

Facing the Sun by ArtbyTesslyn [ongoing]

Aarya reaserches the intricacies of dobotics and artificial intelligence with her companion robot Liza who's expiration is long everdue. Things change with a hardware update. One can’t live without the other, and neither can the other.

It’s dark but beautiful, both in the art and in the story. The sci-fi elements aren’t overwhelming and pieces of lore bring begin to pain a picture over time. It’s a slow burn but oh lord! if it isn’t going to be blazing hot...

I Robot/10

Spellbound by Ronce [ongoing]

Eglantine joins a new highschool midyear and finds herself paired with a refractarian roommate. She does her best to fit in to her new school despite not conforming to all the expectations that others might have of her. Or of her strange but likeable roommate.

It’s a cute and queer little romance, very underrated in my opinion. The art is wonderful, it’s black and white in the beginning and starts having touches of colour here and there before going full blown coloured, and I didn’t even realize it had until many chapters into it... The characters all all diverse and interesting. Also did I forget to say it’s set in France and it’s a wizarding school? Because it is!

conseiller principal d’éducation/10

180 Angel by King Katbird [ongoing]

Chloe is an angel, she lives in Heaven and goes to school in the hopes of becoming a delivery angel one day! However her plan are compromised by her inability to do anything well except halo manipulation. Even flying is not easy for her. But a fateful meeting with a reaper sends her on a trip to Hell and back which changes her. Or is it that she had always been different?

It may not seem much from the banner but I tried it and I got hooke. The art is great and still improves over time, the plot takes a bit of time to set in - I’m still not sure it’s fully set in yet - but it’s worth it, and the characters are visually deep. It sometimes jumps weirdly between scenes or sequences but not so much it completely loses you.

LAMP/10

Letters on the Wall by JaelynGs [ongoing]

Tara comes back fom spain after a five years abroad to find things have changed and others haven’t, to her equal pleasure and dismay. This is how she and her friends deal with these old relatioships that they are now reviving.

Everything doesn’t go smoothly despite each and every character deserving them to. The art is good to begin with and manages to improve over time, as well as the storytelling. Where it might have been a bit hectic before, it smoothes over time. It was for the longest time the only reason I would stalk Webtoons everyday to see if there was any updates. Also each chapter has a colour in the name and that’s just cool!

If Da Yomanville Gang [see below] got me to come to Webtoons, this sealed the deal for me to stay. [And then there was Lore Olympus.]/10

Not So Shoujo Love Story by Curryuku [ongoing - every Tuesday]

Rei Chan-chan loves Hansum, the chin chin chinny goodest looking student, more than she loves her shoujo manga. But gorgeous Hannah is in her way and won’t seem to let her get her way with him. Why is that? Well, gaybe there’s a secret hidden behind her motives? Read it to find out...

It’s funny, it’s cute, and it’s so, so stupid. I love them all. It’s dumb but so much fun to read. There aren’t that many chapters yet but enough to get into it. Also, sisters. (You’ll understand when you get there. Bis) So this is what the spring of youth feels like, huh...

chips/10

Always Human by walkingnorth [completed]

Sunati, a young engineer in training, fan of all those mods you can add to change your appearance, meets Austen, a beautiful yet modless girl who she’s been admiring from afar for a while now. She thinks the girl’s beautiful, but sdly she’s refused when she asks her out on a date, and for rather good reasons.

Now watch as they gravitate around each other and how it influences them both.

It’s a slow-burn quite realistic lesbian sci-fi story about finding love and accepting oneself and others in the midst of life and all it brings upon us. It’s cute, it’s fluffy, and it’s heartwarming despite broaching serious subjects - in a good way -, and it’s finished so you can read the whole thing! (It has enough chapters to give you a few hours of reading)

hay fever sucks/10

Da Yomanville Gang by Jason King [ongoing - every Tuesday]

Layla moved recently, to get away from a dose of angst she didn’t want to have to deal with. She meets new people, fun and friendly people, but it seems the angst can’t quite seem to leave her alone. Alone is what she’s not to deal with it anymore, however.

This is the one, long before Lore Olympus, which brought bme over to Webtoons. It’s not the best drawn, not the most compelling, but the strong point and what made me love it - beyond Layla’s chara design - is the depth of most of the characters, how not all good is good and all bad is bad, and reality often lies in the middle - and how they evolve over the course of the story. Definitely worth a read.

wheelbarrow/10

Love Bot by Chase Keels and Miranda Mundt [ongoing - every Sunday]

In the near future - the year is (Blade Runner) 2049 - technology has advanced enough to creat pseudo-artificial intelligence and thus lovebots. Xada mods and repairs those emotionnaly intelligent robots for a living. What brings this story about is him toying with a less-than-friendly client’s bot so much so that he finds himself in quite a pickle when the bot ‘wakes up’.

It seems to be BL. Let it be BL, please! The art is very nice, the story feels dark but the pitch give way to many interesting possibilities, and, well, the characters are quite nice to look at, I’ll admit... Also, angst. I don’t always enjoy it but when I do, I do.

Not many chapters but it’s getting there.

i’ll let you bot my love/10

Mage & Demon Queen by Color_LES [ongoing - every Thusday]

Malori is the best and the most promising mage student at her school. Aided by Cerik, her best friend and swordsman party member, she attempts to conquer the last floor of the demon tower, reigned over by the ferocious Velverosa, the demon queen, whose defeat will bring glory and richess to those who defeat her. But all is not quite as it seems and, what is that, might it be a crush I see over there? Oh, wait, no, that’s just our protagonist getting squished by the weight of her love...

Once again, it’s fun and stupid (a pattern? noooo) but it’s worth a read.

LES/10

Down to Earth by Pookie Senpai [ongoing - every Tuesday]

Kade live alone and depressed in spite of fleeting relatioships since his big breakup, content with simply going by life while he works in retail. One day, an alien crashes into his backyard. Zaida’s an alien but she’s cute, seems innocent, is unfamiliar with everything, so he agrees to help. Thus begins a slice of life story of them roommating in his appartment until, maybe, one of them crashes into the other’s heart?

It’s cute, heartwarming, and I sort f relate with the main character. Although I don’t know if’d prefer a cute alien, a dragon or a stalking neighbour... [that’s an inside joke, I’ll explain if I ever make a list of the good yamete onii-chan! I’ve been reading] It’s a slow burn with enough depth to hook you up. Some characters are still uncertain in my eyes but that makes me curious.

loner/10

The Remarried Empress by Alphatart / Sumpul [ongoing - every Wednesday and Sunday]

Navier Ellie Trovi is an empress. Perfect and perfectly content in every way with her life until the day a mistress enters her husband’s life. Things sort of go downhill from there. Or do they? For she also learns about herself and what she might actually want out of life to be happy. Breaking the status quo might be the way.

It feels like one of those poor quality isekai comics or manga in which the MC is brought back to a time where she has the power to change her life and decides for emancipation and revenge, but it’s not. It’s more ‘yolo’ and had interesting characters, especially the MC - no pushover - and a slow-burn plot. Don’t expect to see the flash-forward in the first chapter quite yet, but come to experience the whole affaire in detail and in the most satisfying of ways! Also the art is cool!

divorce/10

Muted by Miranda Mundt [ongoing - every Friday]

On her 21st birthday, Camille fails the ritual to become a full-fledged witch and is isolated from what remains of her old and successful family. This leads to her discovering truths about herself and her powers that will change her and those around her.

By the same author as Love Bot. I haven’t read the whole thing yet but the designs are good, the plot is interesting, the characters have depth and personnality, it has witches, magic, romance [I guess, still unsure of the details though], a bit of angst, and it’s set in Louisianna. All good points.

plant magic/10

Cursed Princess Club by LambCat [ongoing - every Monday]

Gwendolyn and her sisters, each a princess in their own right, are set to be betrothed to three princes of a neighbouring country after living all their lives happy and sheltered with their father and brother. Unfortunately, Gwendolyn is not like her sisters - and brother, for that matter - in that her beauty is... less than conventionnal. Devastated by what outsiders think of her she escapes into the forest and meets kindred spirits in the form of the Cursed Princess Club - non-gendered, they also have that one prince there! - and it might just help her grow into the confident woman she is destined to become.

I clicked for the funny hahas ‘because she’s ugly’ and cursed princess trope, I stayed for the genuine laughs and smiles and the heartwarming good nature of most of te characters. Also, haha, funny characters are funny. So, yeah, I started this with a bias - still haven’t caught up yet - and have been seduced by this lesser known webtoon. Don’t let the visuals fool you, it’s really good!

respect wahmen/10

Andy Bass by KenneDuck / Gia [ongoing - every Friday]

Andy Bass is our average highschool girl. Litterally. She’s half human, half fish, a real mermaid but vertically. That leads to less-than-friendly looks and reactions from others. However, the arrival of a new, and frankly very cute, transfer student might change all that.

Haven’t read it all yet, not that there are many chapters out, but it feel fun and promising. Also, physically imperfect characters are best characters. Down with the reign of beauty and up with 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔪𝔲𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔪!

Chin Hansum 2.0/10

For the Sake of Sita by Haga [completed]

A medical student passionately falls in love with a fallen goddess during his volunteer abroad in Nepal, and he desperately tries to fight off destiny to save his love. [the actual summary]

Okay, I’ll be honest: I haven’t quite read that one yet. I’m guilty of only having looked at the beginning and the end to see if it seemed worth it and, oh my gorsh! it does. The art is beautiful, the story seems sad yet beautiful too (I had tears reading the last chapters without knowing much of the rest) and it’s short, so jump on it!

[I’ll probably come back to that later when I’ve actually read it completely]/10

Us Right Now by yurineseventeen [ongoing]

Rina's long-term girlfriend, Noa, decides to run away from home. Rina has limited time to find her.

Not much more to say other than it’s sweet and it feels real. I like the beginning, haven’t read the rest yet, but will definitely soon.

keep going/10

New Normal: Class 8 by Youngpaka [ongoing - every Sunday]

Dongwoon has a big head. It does not make life easy. But what if he wasn’t alone being so... different? He discovers it is the case when he joins his new school a special class full of people who are different. Things get weird fast but also better and fun.

I haven’t read this in a long time, it’s on my list though. But until the moment I stopped at least, it was fun, funny, and interesting. It’s slice-of-life comedy, often ligthearted and stupid, sometimes more serious, but globally a pleasure to read.

sensei/10

The Witch and The Bull by Moonsia [ongoing - every Thursday]

Tan's job as the King's royal advisor has nothing to do with his hatred for witches, but it does make him a prime target for a curse that turns him into a BULL! The only way to undo this hex is to rely on the beautiful witch, Aro. Can her kindness turn his feelings around, and break this spell? [the actual summary]

There are two bulls and they have to ask it questions to know which is the real bull? I dunno, I haven’t read this one... But it’s been recommnded by @berigolote​ so it’s worth a try I guess? She did recommend Lore Olympus to me, so it’s on my list anyway.

to try/10

The Right Knight and Our Days in Lumain by buttersphere [completed & ongoing]

A fun short comic about a play on the ‘knight comes to fight dragon to save princess in her tower’ trope and it’s sequel. The sequel is not finished yet (seems on hiatus) but they are worth the read for cute, funny, fluffy knight and dragon/witch romance and grumpy princesses.

need more/10

NetOL by Forever9Nine [completed]

A slice of life comic about a veeery shy cat-girl (not literally) falling in love with a warm-tempered bookshop employee ( and NOT her colleague), and all the shenanigans that ensue. It’s short, it’s fun, and it’s cute. What more to ask?

oh wow sports/10

Susuhara is a Demon by Soya S. Holm [ongoing]

The usual romance storyof perfectly perfect girl meets absolutely bazongers delinquent and reluctantly carries her unconscious ass to her appartment to help her after witnessing a gang fight between multiple idiots and her (future) idiot and saving her from a knife attack by bashing the last standing dude with a wooden shop sign. Legend says there’s a demon in K-city, I still am unsure of whom it might be.

fun/10

It Stems From Love by Soya S. Holm [competed]

A short story about a girl who loves flowers and finds herself unexpectedly coughing them up dramatically whenever she’s jealous of those around her crush. It’s short, it’s cute, a bit dark at times, but definitely worth a read!

bouquet final/10

Lesbiampires by fabarts [ongoing]

So, yeah, lesbian vampires. Nuffin’ ta add.

Well, anyway, it’s cute, it’s funny, it’s serious too, it makes me root for antihero type characters who actually murder people for fun (but in a fun and respectful way, I swear!) because, well, love./10

Perfect Harmony by bluebloodtanuki [ongoing]

An Overwatch fan-comic about Symmetra and her disaster roommates.

I don’t play Overatch but I like the lore and got dragged into fanfiction and shipping (by myself, mind you), so a fan-comic about similar dynamics AND it’s funny? Gimme.

Roadhog & Junkrat best duo/10

Love Doesn’t Talk by Ann [completed?]

A misunderstanding is fine. Two? Hmmm. Three? Surely that’s fate, no?

A cute love story unfolding before your eyes with no dialogue, only pretty pictures. I’m not actually sure it’s completed but even if it isn’t, the ending doesn’t feel disappointing in the least.

no words/10

AntiSTALKER by VOKIVORMOK [ongoing - every Thursday]

Humans, vampires and werewolves all cohabitate in this freaky highschool, despite tensions between the three races. A bittersweet yet fun love story between a fake stalker and his amnesiac prey...

Eugene wants Kira’s heart, she wants his head.

who?/10

Kiss It Goodbye by Ticcytx [ongoing]

Two lesbians in love recount to their drunk friends the story of how they met. It’s fun and cute, both in story and in art.

delinquent x prim&proper/10

Avril and the Divine Being by Charlie Genmor [ongoing]

Avril is a waitress, Cat is a reccuring client. Feeling blossom before they even exchange words and when they finally do, embarassment ensues.

I got hooked by the art style for this one and I have yet to be disappointed. Not many chapters but keep it close.

sunny/10

Sunflower by EtoileKonijn [ongoing]

Wednesday, an art student, meets Sophie, a friend of a friend. Feelings ensue. It’s beginning to have a good number of chapters (even if they are short) and it feels like it’s actually the slowest burn of them all. Very much worth a read though, for the art style especially.

cute/10

It Takes Two by love_of_pi [ongoing]

Common art style: imperfect but improving. Classic story: normal girl meets famous girl by accident and leave a great first impression. Shenanigans and romance ensue. However the tints of drama, the fun interaction between characters, and the smooth plot make it worth it.

Honolulu latte/10

A Mild Flavor by Ru-rin [ongoing]

A slice of life of different couples. One with a compromised relationship and bittersweet reflections of the past, and the other which is hidden from plain sight, at different times if life. It is not perfect but it managed to worm its way into my heart nonetheless.

tasty/10

The Greenhouse by Viesallon [ongoing]

Another one I haven’t read, but from the extracts I’ve seen the art is compelling, the story seems worth it - definitely deserves the drama tag it seems - and I keep it on my shortlist until I have time to read it.

supernatural/10

My Masochistic Boss by Arisas_Art [ongoing]

Debuting goth writer meets hellish boss of editing company about her new book. Disagreement and tensions ensue. It starts with a slap and might very well end in bed, stay tuned!

This one rebooted recently and the art is soooo beautiful, moreso than before is I may say.

sexy/10

Still Alive by Comic Kat19 [ongoing]

Half-zombie girl meets emo boy, baby ensues.

After the zombie apocalypse, they have to survive, and despite their differences, maybe together is better?

This I classify in the ‘Yuuutsu-kun to Succubus-san‘ category: a somewhat rough art style that I have come to love and enjoy greatly. Also the story is fun.

cat creature/10

The Biggest of Treasures by Aixn [ongoing]

That smile, that damn smile. It’s what got me to try and it got me to stay. The art style is beautiful and the chara designs is too. The plot? Not much to say yet, but cuteness is enough.

bright/10

---------- ---------- ----------

And there you go for now. These are my picks. I haven’t read everything on Webtoon, I haven’t even read everything I’ve subscribed to, but if I had to recommend anything I have tasted, here it is.

Sorry if I missed any you deem worthy; feel free to harass me and mock my lack of culture by flaunting your own.

Maybe more later, in the mean time: keep scrolling, scrub!

PART II

[wolfhowlingdragonflyingsirensong]

spoilers

Since I recently played Life is Strange, which whoah, is totally an experience that I recommend to everyone, I’ve come to appreciate how well the game handles choices. It’s interesting how choices can seem meaningless good acts, like helping Alyssa avoid being hit, translates to her trusting Max enough for Max to save her. But, the game also points out how we can’t control consequences, since good deeds are done with nothing but good intentions can have fatal consequences, such as warning Victoria (and her believing you) leads to her murder, or the biggest good deed of them all, saving Chloe, leads to a storm that (can) kill lots of people. And ultimately, what’s cool is that every choice is canon, since Max it’s not a blank slate, meaning every choice the player makes is something Max considered. What do I mean with Max not being a blank slate? I mean regardless of your choices, Max likes waffles AND bacon and eggs. This is a minor example, but it serves for many things. Max can comfort Victoria or not, and later when they talk at the party regardless of your choice, Max at first is pretty angry, so she’s completely capable of standing up for herself and others. Max loves Chloe regardless of the player's feelings towards her. Max can be pretty uncaring or a literal angel, by Kate. And all of this is canon because even nice people contemplate not being nice all the time, even if it’s only a thought. This brings me to the ships topics. First of all, I’m glad that this game has non-ambiguous, non-sexualized, soft wlw romance (actually two counting BTS!) without the canon protagonist being turned evil or something, and I think that’s incredibly important. If the game had only Chloe as a love interest, I would totally get it and have no problem,  because the game is pretty much focused on their bond. Not that it matters to those who do, I personally don't ship it because I self-project (and I totally recognize it) on friendships I had in my youth that were a bit like Chloe and Max's friendship in the first episodes, and they were toxic. Don't get me wrong, I loved my friends and they were (are) good people. I like Chloe a lot, and there's no denying that there are strong feelings on Max's part for Chloe that are romantic, and it's up to the player to determine if Max is going to pursue Chloe. Denying it means that is both not reading Max's diary and erasing her sexuality. I write this because I don't want to seem like I don't ship them because I like Grahamfield, it's not that, I could very well be into both, and I think Chloe develops so much at the end of episode 5 that, while before I thought she was only in love with Rachel, at that point is totally understandable for me. If you ship Pricefield then that's awesome! You have all the canon content to back you up and a beautiful story of love with the childhood friends-to-lovers trope, can't get much better. Plus, the whole game is about their bond. It's incredibly well developed at the end mostly when you see Chloe growing out of her initial angry phase, and maturing in a beautiful way. So, shipping Grahamfield in this fandom sometimes feels like hey, you are a giant dick. I don't like hate on any ship or character (especially dunking on Chloe, because she's a representation of how trauma is not nice while actually being cool and kind, as well as being one of the few wlw canon protagonists), because both choices are completely canon, it's entirely up to the player. Again, if Chloe was the only canon love interest then that would be totally cool. Buuuut Max can choose to go on a date with Warren, write on his slate that he is cute, raise his grade (which can be done as a friendship thing only), help him in his experiment, kiss him, and if she does, she writes in his diary "I wanted one kiss from a boy I cared about", that to me, reads as having a canon interest in him too. And since Max is bisexual from what I understand, erasing that part doesn't sit well with me. Both Chloe and Warren have flaws, which hey is what happens with characters. Can you imagine having perfect characters? That would be so boring. He is a realistic 16-year-old boy to Max's 18 and Chloe's 19 years. He is extremely awkward, dorky, a little cringy, a boy with a harmless boy with a crush and that's normal at that age. He's helpful almost to a fault, and while some argue that's because he feels entitled, let me tell you, no niceGuy I've ever met has been so helpful if you don't give in, they don't back out after someone lets them down nicely, and he states his interest in Max clearly, and niceGuys don't tend to do that because they like to pine away and be angry that a girl didn't read his mind and magically fell in love with him. He believes Max from the get-go and helps her all the time, regardless of his feelings, which is like, basic decency, so if you want to call him a piece of shit I think that's going a little too far. If you want to take the words of others, Kate says he's a smart and silly cutie-pie with a good heart, suggests they take him with them to their tea-shop tour of Portland after everything and supports their date (besides them being friends, he brings her homework and is shown worried about her). I don't remember that part well, but I think Alyssa and Dana also support Grahamfield (and Brooke is very jealous!) so I think if he was an asshole they wouldn't be so supportive and Brooke wouldn't be into him, or Stella in another reality. My only point is that hey if you don't like him that's fine, but to call him a pervert or entitled or assholery is kinda uncalled for, to be honest, and using the nightmare sequence, in which EVERYONE is out of character (except Jeffershit) and shown being assholes, as a canon that he is bad seems to me like going out of your way. It's a nightmare for a reason, do you really think Kate would have said those things to Max if you save her? She's incredibly grateful. Or do you think Chloe would have done those things??? She would NEVER. Then why is Warren being treated as someone who would do those things for a nightmare? I don't get it. There are two myths regarding him: that he spies on Max and that he photoshopped a photo with them. First one, you can verify with mods that he can't see SHIT, he is merely waiting for her outside. Second, the photo is developed, not photoshopped, Max doesn't say hey we never took that photo, she merely is surprised he kept it. Now, he's a bit pushy when it comes to the drive-in (he acknowledges he's a pain in the booty), says like a stupid joke (a 16-year-old making stupid jokes, what a crime), and has that photo, which for some is crossing boundaries, and hey, that's fine. I, personally, just think a 16-year-old having a photo with his friend and crush is not creepy or bad. So, now that I'm over the ship discourse, which I hate but had to write to explain, I'm so glad this game brought so many interesting characters. My only complaint is that it felt a little too short when it came to other characters, I guess it's because the literal theme of the game is about abandoning youth and growing up as well, so that's because it's very focused on Chloe and Max's relationship, besides the romance. I adore Kate! I’m so happy we were able to save her, it was seriously one of the best moments I’ve ever seen in a game, I would have liked to see her future children’s book with Max’s photos, their tea sessions, and her coming back to school. I would love to have seen more of Stella, (a POC I think) that according to her words, faced an abusive home and poverty to end up studying in a prestigious school like Blackwell, busting her ass to work and yet being super cool and kind! I would have loved to see more of Daniel, how he faced bullying, how his home life is, his budding romance with Brooke, his future drawings. I would have loved to see more of Dana! How she dealt with abortion, a heavy topic, and yet she's super happy, nice, and in a loving relationship apparently. I would have liked to see more of Juliet's reporting skills, I feel like she could have been more important to the plot, or at least more exposés on bullying and the Prescotts. I would have loved to see more of Alyssa, what she likes, her relationships, etc. I would have loved to see more of Taylor! How her mom was doing, what steps was she going to take in not falling with the Vortex Club bullshit, her love for fashion, like Courtney. We didn't get to know Courtney at all I feel and I would have liked to! I would have liked to see more of Victoria, her insecurities, her relationship with her parents, her inner thoughts (she's totally bi too I bet), even her friendship with Nathan seemed deeper. I would have liked to see more of cool hipster Evan, or good skater boy Luke. In short, I would have LOVED to have them all hanging more with Max. The ending, oh man, what an ending. It's incredibly hard, and I hate that saving Arcadia Bay seems to go into "bury your gays" trope, because if there was a way to save them both I would. The writing is very powerful, ending the way it began. This leads me to my initial topic, choices. I love that the game gives us choices, and considering there are other alternative realities, maybe both choices are canon in different universes. If I was in Chloe's shoes I couldn't choose to sacrifice my mom, and Joyce dies if Chloe is saved, as well as many other innocents, so I can't choose that ending, I just can't (and I understand that's totally personal for everyone). A really tough choice, at least for me, and hey, if it wasn't specified that practically everyone died, I would have saved Chloe no questions asked. I do love, however, how Chloe matures so much in the course of 5 days and her bond with Max. She sacrifices for Arcadia Bay, and a lot of it is because of Max, because she doesn't want her to make that choice. So now if you excuse me, I'm still playing the funeral scene in my mind and the bathroom scene (totally broken) and had to write this as cathartic, so feel free to disagree with me or whatever you prefer, each one of us experiences a different game because of our different experiences in life. Next step: BTS and LIS2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9uy4V8SvPk

[tintentrinkerin]

Cathartic Arrest

Part one of ‘the fortress that is your soul’

Rating: Mature Pairing: Sam/Dean [neither romantic nor sexual; yet] Tags: Jealousy, Post-Hell Dean Winchester, Post-Lucifer’s Cage Sam Winchester, Dubious Consent, Codependent Winchesters, Punishment, Caning Summary: Sam needs to cope with memories of Lucifer's abuse. Dean is still trying to cope with this time as torture Master in Hell. And he's JEALOUS. Word count: 1.7k

Read under the cut or on AO3

Sam was still shaking when he got back to the bunker. He had taken his time before he came back home, but still. This time, it had all been different. She had to help him back into his pants, his shirt, even tuck his shirt in, help him ground himself; when he still didn’t come down from what just happened, she made him sit in her “calm room” as she called it.

She gave him food, good food. Fruits. Pineapple, strawberries, vanilla infused yoghurt. Juices of passion fruit and apples, bread with butter and some lean chicken tenders. He could choose whatever music he wanted, but all he ever would choose was hard rock – the music of his childhood, part of his youth and part of Dean. The music in his ears, usually is of a different, much more intense nature. He’d tried pop. One Direction. Too happy. He’d tried Nu Metal. He was too old to bounce back into his emo stage, also known as his years at Stanford. He had tried all kinds of metal. Trash, Death, Melodic, Symphonic. Nightwish. Later Aesthetic Perfection. All good music, quality wise. But nothing was ever louder than the noises in his head. The crying of baby Sam Winchester, inner-child Sam Winchester. Traumatized and angry and helpless.

Only the noise of a cane meeting his skin, his ass, his legs, even his feet, his own painful cries, the muffled grunts, the thank you’s and the yes'es, the reenactment of his shame, would silence the child. It’d been rough today. The wax on his chest left pink swollen spots, the cane beat him bloody this time.

“I can stop, aye?” she said.

“No, Mistress. Don’t. I want it to bleed.”

She’s not his Domme and he’s not her Slave. It's all about pain. He isn’t that twisted in his mind to reenact the power exchange, his own powerlessness. Michael watching. Michael. That god forsaken coward.

Sam was still shaking when he started Baby’s engine, slowly rolling away from the place he visits when pressing on his scar stops working. And it’s been working less and less and less. Until nothing else will help but being beaten up by someone to finally overcome the pain, the helplessness, the feeling of being weak and useless. Sam Winchester might be broken, but he still can take a beating without crying.

Dean hates liars. Which is kind of, let’s say hypocritical, given his nature, his past. He lied to Sam about hell, he lied about the deal, he constantly lies to the only person who will probably never leave him. Because even if Sam does leave, he always comes back. He won’t even die for good. Dean doesn’t, Sam doesn’t. They’re here, two moons in this earth’s gravitational pull, doomed to circle each other; the forces of nature keeping them in place but always keeping them apart.

It's one of those days when Sam says he’s about to go jogging, but since when does he have to drive fifty miles to some secluded forest area to jog when they're in the literal middle of nowhere? Dean has seen Sam in the showers. They have their privacy here, both want that or pretend to, but the showers are group showers, long lines of shower heads like in school gyms. They usually lock the doors, so why, this one time, does Sam not lock himself up like he used to? Dean knows about the nightmares, the triggers, the sudden flashbacks and the pressing of Sam’s thumb against the palm of his cut hand. He noticed cuts, deep cuts around Sam’s wrists, that never heal because he keeps on scratching off the scab. The bleeding never stops.

Dean decides that today, enough is enough. He knows this trauma, he was in Hell too. He tortured innocent people, he tortured Bela fucking Talbot. A woman he really respected in the end, though he sugar coated it with cunt-y behaviour. He’s seen so many faces twisted in pain and agony – and all they do in the end? – cry for mama. They cry for their fucking mother, and Sam? Dean wonders who he cried for in the Cage?

Sam is packed up in his “jogging outfit” and he’s about to leave, when Dean gets up from his armchair in the library.

“Where ya goin’, Sammy?”

He jumps.

“Jesus, don’t scare me, man. Really? I’m going jogging.”

“There’s a whole ass forest in front of the batcave, Sam. Why not go there?”

Sam looks down and Dean knows, he’s angry. He’s angry because Dean caught him in his damn lie and there’s no good way out of it.

“I have a jogging buddy over there,” Sam clears his throat, his whole body is tense. Ready to run. Wherever.

“Ah, jogging buddy, I see. Lemme guess, their name is Mistress Lana and he looks bomb in tracksuits.”

Sam is about to erupt and he grows, his posture straightens and he yells. “This is private Dean, you have no, absolutely NO right to spy after me like a--”

“Like a what?”

“Like a fucking jealous wife who caught me in an affair?”

Dean falls silent, but his body, pure, condensed power, anger, fear, slams his arm against Sam’s throat and presses him to the wall.

“It is exactly like that. You drive an hour to see a dominatrix, to what? You become a subby bootlicker all of a sudden? You like that?”

Sam’s nostrils flare and damn, now Dean is on freakin’ thin ice. He is so goddamn jealous of this woman giving Sam something that Dean would give him freely. And happily. He would give him the relief he needs.

“Don’t talk like that!” Sam hisses, trying to wind himself out of Dean’s grip but he’s still sore from the last time Lana tied him up like a Christmas present and hung him on the wall like a pig-half at the butcher’s. Sam loved the marks of the rough rope, loved the feeling of just hanging there, floating, the ground beneath him so far away, the rock bottom so far…“You have no idea how I feel!”

Dean’s head tilts to the side. “I tortured people in Hell, Sam. I know how to make you feel the worst pain of your life – but I can also give you the greatest relief. I can show you mercy, because that’s what you really want. Isn’t it?”

Sam finally breaks free and attacks Dean, one hit after another, breaks Dean’s nose, gives him a black eye, and it only stops when Dean lands a blow right over Sam’s kidney – he staggers back.

“I deserve the pain,” Sam wheezes. “I don’t rely on anyone’s mercy.”

Dean drags him up and brings Sam, who is suddenly so pliant, to his room. What no one has ever known about is the secret door. Dean’s not a witch, Sam would be a great one, but Dean managed to hide a tiny little torture chamber behind his room. Sam fights, he insults Dean. Dean knows, yes he knows, it’s Sam’s way of provoking him and, kind of, making Dean stop.

Sam knows that, when he came back from Hell, Dean fucked around even more than before he’d died –but no one ever saw him with the girls, the submissive ones, the broken little dolls he found. This is Deam’s coping. Reenacting Hell.

Sam clings on to Dean when he’s tied to the bench, naked. Sam is still black and blue, some of his bruises had turned green-yellowish already but no one should hurt him there again. These bruises would take ages to heal, if they’re lucky, without a doctor needed. Sam isn’t fighting anymore, he’s crying.

“Please Dean, take it off of me. Please… I can’t… Take it OFF!”

“I can’t”, Dean says, gently, brushing away Sam’s tears.“Does she fuck you?”

A gasp. “What? Why--?”

“Simple question, Sammy. Does. She. Fuck you?”

Sam nods, hiding his face in his hair and pressing his forehead against the padding. Dean is on fire, barely holding on. He let her. He really let her!

“I can’t spank you in this condition. You have to heal. Why would you go to that woman when you’re still so roughed up?”

“Why do you care?”Sam’s voice is so thin. Little, scared Sammy, and there was no one in the Cage to save him from what happened.

“Sammy.” Is all Dean says.

“My Sammy.”

Dean is not like that. He loves Sammy, and he would do a lot, but he won’t do That.

Dean’s favorite is his cane. Rattan. Unpeeled. Sam endures several hard blows, in a staccato, a rhythm other people would faint from. But Sammy is strong, and he wants to be broken.

HE

WANTS

TO

BE

BROKEN

And Dean is giving him that. He can think of the girls and boys in Hell while doing it, like he’s not the one inflicting this pain on Sam, but it feels so damn good. Purging. Sam’s cries and whimpers, his yells and finally, finally, when Dean is about to lose control and maul Sam alive – there’s the one Sammy would cry for.

“Dean.”

A gasp. The blows stop. Blood dripping down Sam’s legs.

“Dean.”

Again.

“Sammy..”

So gentle. So tender. So silent.

“Dean, I want to go home….” and that is truly when Sam is broken, the last bastion of his mind, his pride, his goddamn pride is stripped from him. He babbles, he cries, snot and tears and gulps, he even chokes on his cries. “I want to be home with Dean, please hold me, Dean, take me home, Dean…”

Dean dissolves. His own trauma resolves for a minute. He knows, it will never fully go away, he will never heal. But.

“Sammy. I’m here, Sammy. Come here. I’ll take you home, my baby brother. I’m here.”

“Dean, I love you”, Sam chokes out. It could be anything. It could be nothing.

“Sammy, I love you more.”

Dean leans onto Sam’s heaving, still tied up body, sweat and blood, tears, the sobs. When Dean releases Sam from the restraints and carries him to a sofa, he huddles up in Dean's lap. Like a newborn. Overwhelmed with the world outside, sobbing and crying for Dean. Dean is here, holding him tight. Offering him water and more blankets.

Lucifer has never been closer, but Dean has blown him away from Sam. He made Sam just forget for a while. It’s so fucked up, but he can live with fucked up. As long as it’s with Sam and Sam never, fucking never, goes to a whore again when he can have everything from Dean.

Dean will do anything for Sam.

“Dean…”

“I’m here. You’re home.”

»And I will never let you go.«

[kiranxrys]

hmm... ds9 characters by which kate bush song i think they are:

julian - the man with the child in his eyes

kira - hounds of love

jadzia - jig of life

ezri - cloudbusting

garak - waking the witch

sisko - hello earth

miles - this woman’s work

worf - army dreamers

nog - running up that hill

jake - breathing

odo - suspended in gaffa

quark - wuthering heights

and actually you know what not that anyone cares but over 1000 words of ridiculous over-analyzing explanations under the cut bc i feel like it

julian - the man with the child in his eyes

bush wrote the song about a man in whom a younger protagonist notices a youthful quality, a sort of childlike awe for the world. this really speaks to me about julian’s character, who seems to repress this side of himself throughout the show in order to earn the respect of others. to me he really is “the man with the child in his eyes”. it’s also a very sweet and loving song that reflects the way i feel about his character. 

kira - hounds of love

hounds of love definitely has a more romantic leaning, filled with a girl’s story from uncertainty about love to embracing it joyfully. analyzing this from kira’s perspective, though, to me this might be more of a story about her uncertainty with vulnerability, “what was following [her]” that she was “hiding from” being her trauma and her past. the song is upbeat and gives the sense of entering a new, exciting world filled with possibility. that’s kira’s path of recovery starting from the beginning of the story to me. particularly bush’s final cries of “i need love” ring true for me for kira. she is entirely mature and strong and experienced at the start of ds9. her journey is about learning to let go.

jadzia - jig of life

jadzia’s bush song being jig of life is a bit ironic, in a sense, as jig of life is about survival. jig of life is about fighting to let your future self live even when the present seems hopeless. maybe that’s what makes it so powerful to me as a song for jadzia. the song describes the future life and children she never got to have (or maybe did, depending on your AU ideas). the desperate cry of jig of life’s protagonist’s future self “never, never, never, never, never let me go! [...] let me live!”, as well as the song’s exploration of time and different versions of oneself really speaks to me for jadzia’s character. 

ezri - cloudbusting

what initially drew me to this song in ezri’s regard was its strange optimism given the subject matter. without getting into the historical specifics, bush wrote the song from the perspective of the son of a psychoanalyst, exploring the memories of his eccentric and troubled father. looking more closely, i would say the concept of having someone else “here in my head” connects to her struggles with becoming joined to the dax symbiot. i like the idea how “everytime it rains” (every time things get dark) that voice is there for her “like the sun coming out”. the declaration “i just know that something good is going to happen” rings true for me for ezri. 

garak - waking the witch

waking the witch is one of bush’s weirder songs, it’s very disjointed and confused in a striking kind of way, a stage in bush’s story of a girl drowning and lost at sea. the protagonist in waking the witch is this girl who, in a strange hallucination, finds herself on trial for witchcraft. the song deals with guilt and innocence as a threatening, demonic voice presses the protagonist for a confession. several key emotions connect this song with garak for me - guilt, paranoia, fear, hopelessness as she finds “a stone around [her] leg” that drags her down. “i question your innocence”, the voice tells her. “guilty, guilty, guilty!” declare the court. “well, are you responsible for your actions?” the voice asks. meanwhile the protagonist pleads (“bless me father for i have sinned” - perhaps a connection to tain, “help me, help me baby, talk to me, talk to me, please talk to me” - this terrified desperation reminds me of garak in his darkest moments). waking the witch to me represents garak’s inner turmoil and sense of guilt.

sisko - hello earth

oof, hello earth. this song is a true masterpiece. like waking the witch and jig of life, it’s a part of the story of the drowning girl. hello earth is towards the end of the story, as she struggles to survive. the awe for the world and the sense of detachment between the protagonist and her physical universe in the song reminds me of sisko’s connection to the prophets. he “[watches] storms start to form over” his country (in this case, ds9, bajor, the alpha quadrant) but “can’t do anything, just watch them swing with the wind out to sea”. when voices demand of the protagonist to “get out of the waves, get out of the water”, to me that is benjamin’s loved ones pleading with him  to return from the figurative world of the prophets. “murderer! murderer of calm!” voices accuse. i interpret this as sisko’s guilt over the regrettable things he has had do over the years, such as the events of in the pale moonlight. the song ends with a phrase, spoken by bush in german - “deeper, deeper, somewhere in the depth there is light”. sisko has this determined optimism, this conviction in what he stands for and what he can achieve. 

miles - this woman’s work

this woman’s work is a song in which a husband fears for his wife as she gives birth to their baby, looking back on their time together and finding regret. you can see the connection here. but while the idea of “i know you have a little life in you yet, i know you have a lot of strength left” can be read as being directed at keiko, i think it can also apply to miles himself. it may be a bit of a joke, but christ, miles has gone through the most - ‘hard time’, especially, comes to mind. even before the dominion war, he’s been through horrific conflict, but he still holds on and keeps fighting with his determined attitude. he’s a repressed person. “[he] should be crying but [he] just can’t let it show”. he’s still clinging to life, even after all this time. 

worf - army dreamers

army dreamers is a war song. it’s also a war song about a younger soldier, told from the perspective of his mother, who has died. she imagines what her son could’ve been, wondering what she could’ve done to save him from this fate. on one hand, this does connect for me to worf’s continuous ‘loss’ (of both people and things) throughout his time in both tng and ds9. but i think in a way worf also is, or is afraid of being, the young soldier in the story. army dreamers connects to klingon warriorship and the horrific loss of war - “oh, what a waste of all them army dreamers”. of any kate bush song, this was the one in which i felt him the most. 

nog - running up that hill

god, running up that hill. truly peak kate bush. there’s a lot here that i connect to nog. first of all, running up that hill is a song that carries so much weight, seems to touch upon themes of great burdens and struggles, something nog certainly experiences. but bush’s intended meaning with the song was a reflection upon how people from different groups (here men and women) struggle to understand each other, and if only they could “get [god] to swap [their] places”. this speaks to me of nog’s experience as a ferengi, the first ferengi in starfleet. if only those around him could understand him better - this goes both for being ferengi and for being traumatized - he would be running up that hill “with no problems”. 

jake - breathing

breathing is one of my favourite bush songs of all time. it’s a true masterpiece. here she takes on the persona of a baby in its mother’s womb, aware of a world outside that has descended into nuclear destruction and the horrors former generations have inflicted upon the earth. jake is the face of the next generation in ds9, growing from child to adult, but if the dominion war goes wrong, what world will he be left with by those who came before? at the end of breathing, bush’s protagonist, joined by other voices, desperately pleads with those above -  “oh, god, please leave us something to breathe!”. i connect this song to jake’s place as this next generation, as well as (unlike nog) an outsider in the war. 

odo - suspended in gaffa

i deliberated for a long time about which kate bush song could fit odo’s story. i chose suspended in gaffa because it explores a concept of experiencing something wondrous (in this case, witnessing god) and then not being able to experience it again, trapped by one’s unworthiness. the song’s protagonist is desperate to be rewarded - “can i have it all now?” i connect this with odo’s intrinsic desire and struggle to experience the great link, to be with his people, as well as other aspects like to be accepted by others and at peace with himself. 

quark - wuthering heights

yeah.

[savannahstanfield27]

Retrospective on Huey Laforet and Firo Prochainezo

Hey all, 

So this is going to be a digression on why I believe that Huey and Firo are the dual main characters of Baccano, and also describing their similarities and differences. This is just my opinion of course, I bet everyone has different interpretations of who the main character is. 

Nevertheless, this is going to be very long, so I’m going to include a cut so that I don’t take up a ton of space on anyone’s dash. Warning for spoilers for the entire series (anime/light novels/light novel/drama cd/etc) throughout this post.

Primary Point 

Firo and Huey are two very important characters in the world of Baccano. Firo, a member of the Martillo Family, and Huey, immortal terrorist and scientist. If it weren’t for the additions of the 1700′s and 2000′s arcs I wouldn’t have come to this conclusion, but they only solidified my point. To me, the story of Baccano exists to tell the story of Huey and Firo, how they grow as people, how they struggle, and how their interactions with other characters changes them. 

I won’t go into detail on each and every interaction they have, if you’ve watched the show or read the novels, you most likely already grasp what I’m saying. I’m going to focus on Huey’s relationships with Monica and Elmer, and Firo’s relationships to the Martillo Family, Ennis, and the Gandors/Claire. They interact with most of the characters in the novels at some point, but I believe these are the most significant to their character development, 

Firo and Huey are sometimes two sides of the same coin, sometimes they��re complete opposites. I intend to explore these points in this post. 

Adolescent Years

Alright, so first I’d like to start off talking in length about Firo and Huey’s adolescence. Huey presumably loses his father at a young age, there is not a lot of development on that front. His mother is executed by drowning in front of him. This obviously takes a toll on Huey, as by his mother he was described as “innocent” prior to this incident. Firo, on the other hand, describes never knowing his father as he died before he was born. Firo’s mother dies of tuberculosis before he reaches 10 years of age

In Huey’s case, he develops a hatred for the world around him and he desires the destruction of it. He copes with his loss by being consumed by anger and negative emotions. Huey is taken in by Dalton and he becomes an alchemist. You could call this a “found family,” but Huey doesn’t have much of a connection to them. The other students in the alchemy class gossip about him, and Huey puts on fake airs to seem well adjusted. 

Huey does eventually gain a core group of friends: Monica and later Elmer. You could add Niki to this list as she is also part of the group but she was always an outlier to me. Huey never opened up to her. He tries to keep Monica away from him and reacts to Elmer’s kindness with open hatred. However, he eventually grows to trust them and they are the two people he is about to rely on and feel compassion for. They form the Mask Makers, an organization specializing in illegal activity. I prefer to call this Huey’s “found family,” rather than Dalton and the other alchemists. 

Now let’s discuss Firo. He lives only to survive after his mother’s death, pick-pocketing on the streets of Manhattan. I’ll be discussing his relationship with the Gandors and Claire at length later, so I will not include it here. We haven’t been given a lot of information on how Firo copes with his Mother’s death, that I can find. Please enlighten me if you know and I’ll edit the post with your contribution. 

Firo eventually is taken in by the Martillo family. You could say Maiza is like an older brother figure to him, and the Don Martillo a father figure. They are also an illegal organization, and they make Firo feel welcome and needed. Rather than pushing away from those who care about him, like Huey, he embraces those who care about him. Firo is someone who yearns to belong. Firo spends a lot of his childhood comparing himself to his friends, but I will be taking that into account in a different section. 

While Huey and Firo grow up in similar situations, it is the result of what happens after that changes them. They both find a core group of people to support them. In Firo’s case, he retains many feelings of inferiority but he continues to become his own person, relying well on his family and friends. Huey is only willing to open up to a few people, and after Monica is taken from him, he loses any interest in opening himself up again. Firo grows forward as a person, yet Huey regresses backwards. 

Feelings on Death

I’ve already described how Huey coped with his mother’s death, but now I’d like to talk about Monica. Monica was Huey’s lover, whom he finally was able to open up to after so long. Her death caused him to shut down as a person. He is not the same man after he returns to Lotto Valentino. That emotional void in him is the only way he can cope with her death, as well as striving to complete his fruitless goal of meeting with her again. He feels guilt towards both of these deaths, as he describes to Victor in 1931. 

Sometimes, when Huey thinks of his happier memories with his lost family, his face seems to brighten and open up a little. He quickly shuts that down in favor of treating the situation like an experiment. He even ponders to Victor in 1931 about if there is a scientific way to discover which is his worst memory. He copes by not coping in the slightest. (Because of this, I both yearn and fear for his reaction to meeting Luchino hopefully in 2003)

Huey seems unfazed by his own possible death. The only time I can find him actually voicing an opinion about it is when Firo attacks him in 1934. He doesn’t seem to possess fear or regret, only interest in his lack of foresight that this might occur. 

Firo has not had to cope with much death in his life. Many of his friends are immortal, as well as his Martillo family. However, the outlier here is Claire Stanfield. Claire has always been the person Firo saw as above him, and in 1936 he stops to ponder on what would happen if Claire died. Claire will die eventually. Firo knows he is going to have to cope with that. The thought makes his chest tighten, and he decides not to think about it, because he cannot imagine a world that Claire is not in. 

Firo deals with his anxieties about death by feeling denial here. He decides he just won’t think about it. On his own death, in 1934, Ladd Russo acknowledges with glee that Firo still fears his own death, he does not view himself as an invincible and strong being. 

Both Huey and Firo possess equally bad coping mechanisms when it comes to losing their loved ones. They both choose to deny and forget. Huey becomes obsessed with the denial, spending his entire life trying to gain the knowledge to meet Monica again. This causes his subsequent emotional detachment, and lack of interest in his own possible death. Firo, on the other hand, possesses immortality but still fears his own death. When thinking on the possible deaths of others, he prefers to put it out of his mind. 

Feelings on Love

In regards to love, Huey runs from it and struggles to embrace it. I’m speaking in a romantic sense, I should preface. Huey finds it difficult to comprehend that he might have some sort of feelings for Monica. He can’t fathom that someone managed to make an impression on him. He tries desperately to run from this feeling and deny it, but eventually he ends his struggles and embraces his love for Monica. 

With familial love, Huey does not feel any of it. He does not value his daughters in an emotional way. They are merely tools for him to achieve his goals. He will tell them anything, especially in Leeza’s case, in order to appease them or to make them more loyal to him. Chane and Leeza possess complete and utter loyalty and devotion towards Huey, but he does not return it. (on that note i’d love to do a future post on Hilton and her relationships with Chane and Huey)

Firo runs towards love. He sees Ennis and immediately becomes infatuated enough to follow her. He falls hard and fast. There is no denial on his part. Firo finds it easy to open up to people, as a social being, but he does struggle to speak his feelings to Ennis. It did take fifty years for them to get married after all. Though he has embraced his love for Ennis, Firo finds it hard to tell her, and instead shows it by all the things he does for her. 

With familial love, Firo has a fierce loyalty to the Martillo family. They are “home” to him. Especially in regards to Maiza, who can be seen as an older brother figure, he is completely loyal. This can be compared to his relationship to the Gandors, three brothers who shared the same apartment building with him in his childhood. He cares for them enough to help them, a rival family, in 1927. His loyalty to the Martillos only swells when Molsa praises him for helping his “family.”

I also think it’s a great parallel of Melvi Dormentaire kidnapping Ennis and the 1700′s Dormentaires holding Monica. They are both on a boat after all. Both Huey and Firo experience helplessness when they realize what has happened to the women they love. However, they immediately jump right on track to figuring out how to save her. This is a great example of Firo expressing guilt. He often feels down when he cannot help those he cares about, like he failed them. Huey is the same way about the situation with Monica. He was so close...and then he lost her..

Relationships with Close Friends

I’m going to focus on Huey’s relationships with Elmer and Fermet. In regards to Elmer, Huey views him as his one true friend. Though in his youth, he hated Elmer and tried to stay away from him, they eventually became friends and Huey was able to open up to him. Even without seeing him for 300 years, Huey still thinks about Elmer and keeps his promises to him. This is why Huey does not hurt “innocents,” because it would make Elmer sad. 

Huey often references Elmer and his worldviews during conversation, which causes him to actually express emotion. Elmer managed to touch Huey as a person and this deeply affects him as a person. Both Huey and Elmer can relate on both an emotional and intellectual level, they understand each other well even in their youth. 

I’m not sure how well this point will come across to everyone, but I’ve always viewed Fermet as Huey’s “Claire,” in regards to Firo. Fermet is also an intellectual genius. He is the person who managed to take everything away from Huey, for seemingly no reason. However, they manage to collaborate on their research later on. This is merely my personal interpretation, but I believe that Huey does have a slight inferiority complex in regards to Fermet, and that he does not like having to rely on the same person who took everything from him for help with research. I’d love to hear anyone else’s opinion on this!

Firo possesses a deep inferiority complex when it comes to the Gandors and Claire. He has always viewed them as one step ahead of him. Especially in the case of Claire, Firo views him as successful in regards to his confidence in love and in his own abilities. Firo compares himself to Claire throughout his life, almost treating him like an idol or mentor at times. He feels insecure, such as in 1927, when Claire’s own abilities surpass his. He does not like to feel useless or unneeded. 

In regards to the Gandors, specifically in the case of Luck, Firo views him as the perfect “gangster” and as someone who has always been ahead of him. Compared to the Gandors, he sees himself as the inferior child. Luck is not that much older than Firo, but he possesses much more emotional maturity and restraint, something Firo finds it hard to come to terms with at times. 

Firo idolizes the “true mafioso” figure and he wants to be like that, which is how he views the Gandors as. Many of his friendships stem from insecurity and inferiority. He wants to make it on his own, without having to rely on his family (The Gandors). 

Personality

In his youth, Huey was much less reckless. He proceeded with caution and did not like to get involved in most situations. This is demonstrated when he decides to ignore Niki being attacked in Lotto Valentino. He is forced by the situation to fight the attackers, but it is implied that he doesn’t possess much strength or technique on the subject of fighting physically. 

(I will add that Huey is noted as looking feminine by various characters such as Elmer, but it does not seem to faze him that much)

Huey has an enthralling personality as he ages. He is manipulative by nature and will stoop to any level to get what he wants. He tends to speak in a detached manner, but outwardly he is very pleasant and polite (similar to his facade from his youth). His manipulative techniques have caused many people to fall victim to his spell, increasing his amount of subordinates and allies. 

Huey’s primary goal is to meet Monica again, and to obtain the knowledge to do such. He lives by researching and doing experiments, learning more about humans and why they do what they do. He views humans as “raw materials,” and their only use to him is to further his experiments. Huey is a very detached person from the world. 

Firo is extremely reckless throughout his life. There are many examples one could place here: pick pocketing a Mafia Executive as a child, following Ennis, rescuing Barnes, etc. Firo is always ready to jump into the situation at hand. He is friendly and sociable, but can be very irritable and negative when the mood strikes him. His sharp temper and bluntness do mellow with age, but they are at their worst in the early 1930′s. 

Firo has many issues with femininity and his “babyface,” which most likely stem from a childhood incident in which he was kidnapped and mistaken for a young girl. He is insecure about this and will strike back at anyone who messes with him for it, except for Claire. 

Firo is not outwardly manipulative and cruel, but gaining the trust and help of others does come easy to him. In 2002, Ennis says this on Firo: “ Firo was really very good at getting people to do what he wanted without telling them the important things. Actually, to be precise, he was good at making them want to help him.” 

Firo and Huey both possess the type of personalities that make it easy to manipulate others, whether knowingly or unknowingly. They make others want to believe them and help them out. Firo is much more blunt and emotional than Huey in the 1900′s, but I do find 1700′s Huey quite similar to Firo, especially in his emotional angry outbursts to Elmer. 

Relationship to Knowledge/ Meeting in 1934/35

Huey’s relationship to knowledge is simple, he wants to know more in order to keep his promise with Monica. Huey views himself as a scientist and as a researcher. He pursues knowledge and wishes to obtain it. When he meets Firo in 1934, he questions him about having all the knowledge that Szilard has accumulated. He wonders if that changes the subject as a person. Huey is greatly intrigued by the ways that other people act. 

Firo never finished school, and he does not consider himself intellectually smart. After devouring Szilard he is consumed with memories of many alchemists, and a vast amount of knowledge is now at his disposal. He grows worried that the memories will consume him and that he will become just as bad as Szilard. He fears the knowledge that he possesses, preferring not to look into it. He doesn’t seem to understand why it interests Huey so much. 

Their meeting, first in 1934, astounded me when I first read it. The way Firo reacted to Huey was much like how Huey reacted to Elmer (this is a digression...) They are two characters who grew through similar circumstances, one becoming more of a person, one becoming less of a person. Firo runs from knowledge, Huey yearns for it. Firo embraces the love and support of others, Huey uses it for his own needs. But they both retain that key element of living and dying for someone else. 

Huey is living to find Monica. Firo is living for his Family. Both possess flaws and strengths. As for their meeting in 1935, we don’t know the full details yet but I cannot wait to find out what they were cooking up behind closed doors. 

Conclusion

I fully believe that Huey and Firo were destined to be the main characters of Baccano. Their stories grow and change as they interact with others and are affected by them. Think back on Maiza’s quote “maybe every encounter is some sort of miracle in it’s own way.” Huey and Firo change throughout every single arc, for better or for worse. 

The 1700′s arc is about Huey’s adolescence, and about how he loses his humanity because of tragedy. But we are also able to see how he was once a much different man, and his personal relationships with the few he decides to let in. 

The 1930′s arc presents Firo, someone who is neither destined to be hero nor villain. His inferiority complex clashes with his deep need to help those he cares about. With every interaction- Ennis, Czes, Maiza, Christopher, Isaac and Miria, Melvi- he grows as a person. He learns and develops. Huey has regressed in the 1930′s, and we are seeing how he coped with the events of the 1700′s. And everything comes to a head when they meet in 1934, and when the tragedy of Monica’s capture seems to repeat itself in 1935. 

The 2000′s arc shows a much more refined Firo. He’s retained many of his good qualities from his adolescence, but he has grown to be much more kind and understanding. Of course, he worries (”can i really be a family man?”) he messes up, he acts reckless even. But he has matured into someone who his friends and family can be proud of. He should be proud of himself. I’ll leave my thoughts on 2000′s Huey for when 2003: epilogue is released. 

If you made it this far, thank you for reading my ramblings. I’ve been a fan for a long time, but with no outlet to share these thoughts other than my dear friends, so it feels nice to let them out once in a while. 

[lady-plantagenet]

What are your thoughts on Jaime x Cersei, Jaime x Brienne, Tyrion x Tysha, George x Isabel, and Henry VIII x Anne Boleyn? (Sorry for the long list!)

Glad to see someone else feeling charitable and letting me vent my unsolicited opinions 😂. Saved the George x Isabel for the last cause I’m sure it will be the longest lmao!

Asked Via: Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it: https://lady-plantagenet.tumblr.com/post/627331607624302592/send-me-a-ship-and-ill-give-you-my-brutally

Jaime x Cersei: Despite it’s fundamental flaws, it is... titillating to read. The idea of people falling in love with their own other-gender counterpart is twisted yet so intriguing. I must confess that I am not as disgusted by incest as most people, so bear that in mind. The thing is, Cersei is definitely a narcissist with a lot of internalised misogyny and this ship just feels so justified to her character.

The issue is, and as the books go on, it becomes quickly clear that Jaime’s love is not as deep and as his appearance changes, and they no longer look identical Cersei’s own mental image, Cersei’s love also wanes and then you’re hit with how shallow it was. So I ship these two... but I also don’t because they’re toxic? Honestly, book-wise I am intrigued to see what will happen, if they end up together... or they don’t... either way I’m sure it will be quite a ride. You see, I’m not emotionally invested.

Jaime x Brienne: Oh the Sapphires... Obviously anyone who cares for Jaime’s wellbeing would want him to end up with Brienne as opposed to Cersei. I read this interesting theory recently on how these two don’t actually love each other but confuse their strong platonic feelings of affection for romance. You see, that’s also an interesting take as both characters are quite bereft off opposite gender friendships.

However, I strongly ship them romantically as well, Book!Brienne (hey show as well!) is truly admirable because based on her choice in men e.g. Renly, you can see how she had still not given up on her maidenly fantasies and I just love her for that, because true love isn’t something to which only pretty women are entitled. She in many ways represents salvation for him as she being a true knight in spite of her gender, can veer him back into the path of chivalry. He is most chivalrous around her, I mean, not only because her good conduct influences but also because he performs some of the most knightly deeds by cause of her e.g. rescuing her from the bear pit. I like this ship, it’s a good trope subversion.

Tyrion x Tysha: I find this one of the more heartbreaking ships of ASOIAF, because to me it represents Tyrion’s loss of innocence.

She is a haunting figure because of how small remnants of her memory were enough to pull Tyrion into the toxic relationship he had with Shae e.g. she too hard dark hair and there was music around when he met her. Its one of those weird (as @omgellendean put it in her brutally honest ask tag answer - a character who consists of only a name), but unlike Ashara Dayne, she is not idealised and given this over-the-top tragic story. So this elusive Tysha is an entity by what she symbolises: foregone youth and a sweetness that has no place in the ASOIAF universe.

Henry VIII x Anne Boleyn: As I said in my last ask. I cannot tolerate the romanticisation of infidelity, and that is especially when the male’s spouse is a wonderful woman fit for him and has done nothing wrong. I don’t have strong feelings against Anne Boleyn herself, as I prefer to see her as ‘Anne the Educated and Sophisticated Reformer’ as opposed to ‘Anne the Seductress’. Ugh let me just say... rule of thumb for whether it’s a good pair: Do thousands have to die for your selfish desire to be together? Yes? Then probably not meant to be. Just a thought.

I think Anne knew her own mind and I like to think her strong beliefs influenced her decision to breach this marriage (no I didn’t think she was her father’s pawn gah I’m sick of that term), but they were ultimately unsuited in everything and it was a passion brought about by Henry’s caprice. My heart breaks when I think on how Anne could have been happily married to Henry Percy. I’m also tried of this whole ‘master manipulator of men’s hearts’ reputation Anne is getting. You do realise refusing to be a mistress was not being a tease as much as it was just being a conventionally virtuous woman..? The girl knew her worth.

George x Isabel: Oh god. I promise to not start writing an essay. As weird as it is to ship dead people, they are my OTP, the main characters of my main historyfanfic, and frankly the most unsung couple of TWOTR. The fact that there are no records of letters or any particularly over-the-top romantic gestures by either of them, just intrigues me more because it was very much a relationship defined in subtle deeds. If you peruse the more academic TWOTR literature you can see all the fine but conclusive evidences of a devoted relationship: He posthumously enrolled her in a guild when he stayed there with his children (months after she died), he was buried together with her and her ancestors not his, how during 1470 he sent her to Exeter for her safekeeping while her mother and sister remained at Warwick and when a siege broke out he (and his father-in-law) immediately rode south to lift it and the amount of expenses and care he put into her funeral. Not to mention, the hassle it took for them to get married: years of trying to get a dispensation underneath the king’s nose culminating in them having to cross the channel.

The thing is, it had a lot of politics behind it and to be honest I don’t find that less romantic. It was one right for both of them: for the wealthiest heiress in England and the handsome younger brother and heir of King Edward - truly no one else would do for any of them. One of the things that grabs me is the medievalness of it all, how they were bound together by what was essentially a plan to reverse the country’s inevitable transition out of ‘bastard feudalism’. You also get a sense of how this marriage despite the ultimate failure of its purpose (to make George King) brought George the chance to establish himself as a major magnate through his wife’s lands which ultimately became his main source of power as opposed to his royal status. The relative peace that ensued after 1472 shows that his status as Warwick’s political heir (as Christine Carpenter put it) did something to placate the disapointment of not becoming king. So the way I see it, Isabel’s death took from him any of the satisfaction and peace she brought with her lands and persona as he once again reverted to his old (even more than before) reckless self. Not to mention the people he executed after her death in his grief believe in her to have been poisoned (most historians believe that’s unlikely).

Aside from that, in a society where pretty much everyone strayed (even Anthony Woodville had a bastard daughter), it is quite heart-warming how the man known for his treachery, happened to be one of the only ones loyal to his wife: no bastards or women were ever linked to his name not even in rumour. As for Isabel, she is quite a shadowy figure but you get the sense she was intelligent because of the care her father took in preparing her as his heir, because of her wealth you get this sense of majesty and significance about her. The two times we can deduce anything about her personality is a true supporter of her husband: once, when deciding to treat with the Yorks behind her father’s back to reconcile George to them, second, remaining steadfast to George when he tried to squirrel her sister Anne out of her inheritance. Based on the homage she paid to her ancestors, she seems proud of her ancestry so it’s quite intriguing to think why she made the aforementioned two choices, endangering her father and sister in favour of her husband. And oh god I’m rambling, I can say even more if you can believe it but I shall stop. Overall, one might think I’m wishful thinking but frankly Anne and Richard are touted as star-crossed lovers all the time and with even littler evidence to support it (not that I don’t ship them, I do). I might be subjective, but the story of George and Isabel’s life is just so compelling...

[morganaofcamelot]

If Wishes Came True (Chapter 1)

Title: If Wishes Came True Chapter I: The Games People Play

Fandom: BBC Robin Hood

Ships: Guy of Gisborne/Original Female Character, Guy of Gisborne/Marian of Knighton, Original Female Character/Original Male Character

Definately an AU - Sir Guy of Gisborne has served the current Sheriff of Nottingham for five years prior to the beginning of the first season, and is considered a part of the family, both by Vaisey and his daughter Valerie. The chapters are from Val’s POV, as she struggles to maintain her youthful innocence in a place that’s all too willing to steal it away from her, and navigate the intrigues of her father. [Many changes from the show, although the fic loosely follows season 1]

When the servants came to draw the curtains, the cool March air entered the room, almost like a kiss it brushed her, wiping the frown from her face. Below, the courtyard was almost deserted save for some dogs looking for scraps, and the usual guard that her father required to be posted at all times. The castle would soon return to normality, and the men would waken with their sour bellies and headaches, expected to return to their duties.

Everyone but her father, Valerie thought, with an unbidden shiver. The feast last night has been as grand and magnificent as any girl in the cusp of womanhood could dream. For once, her father spared no expense and had made the castle look like it came straight out of a romantic tale; he had commanded the main hall to be lit with torches on sconces, and a hundred candles to be placed around, engulfing the otherwise cold interior in warm light. More servants were specifically hired to help, and she watched in awe as the said servants were hurrying to complete their tasks, and carry the plates of food from the castle kitchen to the feast hall. She had not seen such lavish expenditure on food in all sixteen years of her life.

But as much as she had enjoyed the revelry and the merriment a good feast and a goblet of wine could bring, there was more; her heart had fluttered, last night, at the sight of her father’s right-hand man, Sir Guy of Gisborne, who was most handsome out of his black leather jacket, opting for one in dark blue instead, a color which brought out the color of his eyes…

Valerie blushed even at the mere thought of it – this time she could not blame the strong Burgundian wine that she tested the day before for her bad thoughts, because it was long gone from her system by then. Another shiver crept up her spine. He was such a delight to look at most days, but she wasn’t raised a fool; she knew that his affections were lying with somebody else, whose hand was frequently looped with his arm.

Lady Marian was a pretty young maid, five or six years older than her, and her smiles and attention brought the best out of Sir Guy, who was infamous for the permanent scowl and the bad temper of a mad dog throughout the shire. Valerie held nothing against her, but still found that she was very envious of her, that moment. Not that her father would ever allow her to form an attachment to his man-at-arms. As he had told her, on numerous occasions, only a truly wealthy and powerful man would make a good match for you, my darling. The words were always followed by a pat in the hand, as it was his chosen gesture to show affection.

A shiver, again. This time she hugged her shawl tighter, trying to keep the sensation away. Yesterday’s feast had a special purpose; Lord Robert of Locksley, the Earl of Huntingdon was back from the Crusades after five years fighting as the king’s personal guard. She couldn’t help wondering whether the feast was a distraction – knowing her father, and knowing that Lord Robert’s lands had been ruled by Sir Guy in his absence, she couldn’t help it. None of them should be celebrating Huntingdon’s return. In fact, she thought she had seen Sir Guy most stressed about the situation.

No matter, she thought. Men do as men are.

Valerie turned away and paced about the room, tempted to find an excuse to skip breakfast at the table. She sighed, for her lack of conviction. She’s been taught well. She was raised to be a good girl, and she would only live to serve her father, such as he is, for he had always loved her, in his own way. And so she marched, like a soldier heading to war, but not before taking a last, long look at the mirror. Her face didn’t particularly please her; a long nose, a somewhat pointed chin and high cheekbones was her mother’s legacy to her. Her father, had granted her the dark hair and the green-brown eyes. She wasn’t half as pretty as Marian of Knighton, but she couldn’t help it. She shook her head.

As she had guessed, she found her father in the hall, breaking his fast. Upon spotting her, he gave her a curt smiled and indicated the chair on his left. “Good morning, daughter! Did you have a good night’s sleep?”

“Yes, thank you for asking, Lord Father” and she bend to give him an affectionate kiss on his cheek. “Where is everyone?” she asked, noting the absence of Sir Guy.

A servant girl, Jane, inquired whether Valerie would have wine. Valerie shook her head, as she didn’t enjoy the beverage as much as her father did.

“Oh, last night’s merriment calls for a late morning, don’t you think? Not for me and you, of course.” He said as he bit into his potage and bread. She didn’t speak as he chew, having a feeling that he would go into details. And she was right. “Gisborne’s sulking around here, somewhere, he should be with us soon. And Lady Marian and her father, of course, since they spend the night here.”

Valerie feigned a smile at the mention of Marian. “Good,” she said. “Then I shall have company while you men go on about your business.” Her father nodded. For a heartbeat he seemed intent on studying her, but got distracted by Sir Guy’s entrance.

“Ah, Gisborne. At last. We were just talking about you.” He flashed another one of his bright smiles. Sir Guy was once again dressed in his favorite outfit, the all black leather set.

“My lord,” he politely inclined his head at the sheriff. “Valerie.” His courtesy applied to her, as well.

Valerie took a sip of water. “Good morning, Sir Guy.” She said in a small voice. Damn, she thought. Damn me. That sounded weaker than a man’s dying breath. Her cheeks reddened then, and she was glad that her hair were down this day, to conceal her embarrassment from their scrutiny.

“You had a nice night, Gisborne?” Her father’s lip twitched – an innuendo, or a secret lied in his words. Hidden meanings made his lips twitch, Valerie had noticed. She had watched him speak them countless times.

Sir Guy smirked, without much humor. “It was passable, my lord. The welcoming feast was excellent, however.”

The sheriff – for that what he was when he was in the presence of other people – barked out a laugh. “Ah, Gisborne. I am glad you enjoyed yourself. But I must know, was it the company you kept, or Huntingdon’s face of despair? You have to tell me.”

The black knight laughed, a short, contained sound; as if he didn’t have enough practice at it. “Both, my lord.”

The sheriff patted his subordinate’s shoulder. “Good boy,”. As if he is a dog. Valerie held her tongue; it wouldn’t do, messing with her father’s affairs. She had the inkling that her father saw Sir Guy as the son he was never granted, but his affections were not shown in a way society could deem compatible.

Soon, Sir Edward of Knighton and his daughter came in. Sir Guy’s eyes perked up to look at the object of his fascination. Disappointment crossed his face when Sir Edward took the chair beside him, forcing Marian to sit next to Valerie, who shifted uncomfortably for a moment, then settled. I have nothing against Marian. I cannot blame her for the affection she receives.

After some idle chit chat, the sheriff spoke once more with authority. “You will be present at the hanging, I take it?”

Marian’s fork slipped out of her hand, falling on the plate with a loud noise. “Is it to be today, my lord?” she asked, her bright blue eyes wide.

The sheriff relished her discomfort. “Oh, yes, my darling. My daughter will attend it. She would be most appreciative of your company throughout this ordeal.” He spoke in a way that didn’t let Marian any room for arguments.

“I’d be honored to stand as her companion, my lord.”

The sheriff’s lip twitched again before he spoke. “Good girl.”

 ***

 Valerie had to admit, that Lady Marian was not the most pleasant of companies; she had an air of superiority about her, and a generous amount of confidence that gritted on Valerie’s nerves, because she lacked those qualities, and she so wanted to have them! She shook her head to empty it of her negative thoughts. Lady Marian has done nothing to you. She is as forced in this position as you are.

Yet, envy was not an easy sin to wash away. Still she tried, because she was a good girl. She lowered her eyes whenever she spotted Sir Guy glancing towards them, knowing full well that he sought to gaze upon Marian. Valerie bit her lip, to stop bitter words from escaping.

Lost in her thoughts, she barely noticed the wondrous turn of events that took place right in front of her eyes; when the stools beneath the hanged men were kicked and the cries of their loved ones echoed in the stone walls of the courtyard, Lord Robert snatched a bow from one guard and shot arrows at the hanging ropes, claiming that their crimes worth no more punishment than a spell in the stocks. He managed to free two before one of the guards had his aim on him. Beside her, Marian shifted, grabbing a pin from her hair. Valerie saw that this was not a simple hair ornament, it was an elegant throwing knife, made in such a way that could be concealed in the hair of a woman. Reading into Marian’s intention of incapacitating the guard, Valerie found the courage to catch Marian’s hand before she managed to throw it.

Shock passed Marian’s face that mirrored Valerie’s in equal measure. Below them a cry of pain escaped Lord Robert’s lips. Valerie turned to see that the guard had struck true, and that the arrow shaft had hit the Earl in the arm. The men the renegade lord had managed to free, reached for him amongst the fray, quickly grabbed him and made for the gate, in mad dash to escape justice. The sheriff barked left and right orders, she saw Sir Guy running behind the fugitives, something acute to panic in his features.

The two men Lord Robert didn’t manage to save, were hanging lifelessly from their ropes, forgotten and limp.

“Why?” Marian hissed in my ear, furious.

Valerie feigned innocence. “Oh, I do not know what happened. I’m sorry if I held onto your hand too tight; I was scared out of my mind, Lady Marian. I thank God for your company, for without you here, I would have surely fainted!”

Marian was confused, but managed to slip into a mask fairly quickly. “Oh, think nothing of it. I am here for you.” Biting her lip at the end of the phrase. Lies, Valerie thought. Her face feels like an open book.

Looking down, Valerie commented on the lethal hairpin. “Oh, that’s a lovely design,” she said, pointedly. “It must have fallen off your hair, during this nasty business.”

Biting her lip again, Marian nodded.

“It’s very pretty you know; you must let me borrow it one day.”

Marian offered a small smile, now that she felt secure. “I will, one day. You must be very careful, though. It was a gift from my father.”

The commotion had left the castle, as most of the guards were chasing the escaped criminals. Valerie smiled at the older woman. It was Marian’s turn to compliment her, she knew, as was the norm between the two of them.

“That’s a lovely necklace. Silver, isn’t it?” Sure enough, Marian delivered. Valerie’s hand touched the jewel in question without meaning to; it was a token she wore every day for the last six months, ever since Sir Guy had given it to her as a birthday present. The design was simple, but Valerie thought it the most beautiful necklace of the world.

“Yes,” Valerie replied, with a genuine smile growing on her face. “It is my favorite.” A slight pause. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, Lady Marian, I have to return to my father.”

Marian simply smiled and nodding. “And I will return to mine.” Valerie spared a glance behind her, as she was climbing up the stairs of the castle.

“What game are you playing, Lady Marian?”