#is this what a town rp looks like? I don't know her but I guess I do now

[divineerdrick]

Homestuck Beyond Cannon Upd8 for September 14, 2024

Couple days late on this one, so let's get started right away.

Oh! But first we have a news post. It is the first upd8 of the month after all.

I mentioned content warnings on the last upd8. Looks like I'm not the only one. Yeah, those would have been appreciated. But hopefully James can follow through on his promise to get better with them.

The Karkat plush is . . . today! Apparently you can now preorder it, or at least you should be able to. I need to check on that. I think my previous support counts as my preorder, but I want to be sure. Don't want to miss out on the wonderfully grumpy plush with the awesome hair.

The Patreon is apparently the reason we're getting upd8s like this one, and James is trying to figure out how to bolster it. Makes me, again, appreciate all the work Andrew did on the original. He seems reluctant to do another visual novel like this, but who knows what the future holds. Wish I could support the comic again, but right now I don't have the funds. Admittedly, part of that is because I play Warhammer.

On to the upd8!

Er . . . after I fix the browser thing again >.<

Huh! I just noticed that the panel that we see while the game is loading is actually fake and created by the game window. You can barely see the outline there, but the big give away is the menu bar in the upper left. Neat trick!

Looks like @nostalgicamphibian was right! That feather is very much orange, and so that means we know who it belongs to. Maybe Vriska will take some advice and just chill and recoup for a bit. I'm sure she needs it after the last chapter.

Also! We can now reread the prologue from here!

I still feel like Vriska both needs to see Terezi and (Vriska). They are together in the bubbles, or were the last time we saw them. So she could do both at once. I think there's a huge lesson she could take away from that. One chapter left after this one, so we'll have to see I guess. For now, let's see some shenanigans!

Also this is Chapter X, apparently.

And now for something completely different! Apparently this was happening during the last chapter?

Embarrassed? We haven't seen all the sprites, such as Arquius perhaps. But Davepeta is specifically saying sprite^2. And only one other character has that designation . . .

Okay, this is just great! Which ever member of the team that wrote this managed to perfectly mash up Nepeta's kitty themed RP with Dave's rambling. I love everything about this!

And there they are! Bit of a callback to Rose having to wait on Dave before. Jasprose appears to still be painting the town red on Meat Earth C. Wonder if we might see Jane with her at any point in the future.

omg im l so fucking mao at this! That is the perfect Rose Tier Homestuck technobabble. Midnight City is is in superplausitional canonical deniability. So for any purpose, it could be said to be canon or not canon as the HICU needs! XD

I'm literally struggling to keep it down right now! Also, I think the only panel I haven't as part of this was the stuff with Erisol! This has all been S Tier!

Hah! And Dad and Droug are apparently still running around too! That probably put a damper on Jasprose's night on the town! Also good to see that even this version of Rose is still sober.

Not so good to hear that Jake is still completely fucked up after what Dirk did to him. Jasprose hints that he still might have a role to play before the end though.

And, of course, we have timeline shenanigans! While Davepeta has been stuck with Vriska for multiple years, Jasprose is still on the same night of partying we left them with.

Davepeta is not pleased with Vriska's progress. Maybe they'll think different depending on how she responds to Scratch's abuse. But they're clearly worried, and this is apparently extremely important to whatever plans the two sprite^2 have cooking. And Dave is for once appreciating Rose's desire to understand the human psyche. Not that it would necessarily have helped with Vriska.

Hah!

Apparently even they weren't expecting that.

Normally a beat panel like this after a statement like that can only mean one thing . . .

Hah!

Join us next time when 4 more years have passed! That was the meaning behind the 8 Ball all along!

Now excuse me while that line sends me into existential dread over the possibility of a different type of "4 more years."

[kowaindar0u]

//

I JUST WOKE MYSELF UP LAUGHING IM DYINF

I don't know what was going on but it was one of those dreams where I don't know if I AM Yuichi or if I as Luka is also there but it doesn't really matter jdjdh but like this happens a lot when I dream about characters I write/rp/play as

I think it started out where I there was like a little festival type thing around town(?) and everyone bought/made cloaks and stuff and so it was me/yuichi, a buuunch of toudans, and my friends from my d&d group ?? all just like hanging out or whatever, walking around town, I know at some point we went into a thrift store and bought a bunch of novelty stuff??

Idk it was fun.but then Nagasone had to go with Shirley (from Community) and some other people to a big meeting way up a mountain to ...?? idk, make a deal with some executives about the rights to a Scooby-Doo movie??? Idk, that's not important. What is important is that they did not come back down when they said they would so we got worried and went to go up the mountain after them ("we" I think is yuichi, my friend, and several toudans) . On our way up there was a loooot of snow and a bit of an avalanche that happened way up ahead of us, so we were panicked!! We got to where the avalanche happened (by this time we were also very cold and wet and tired) and we started digging around, looking for signs of anybody, frantic, but we didn't find anyone and we were being out in the freezing cold and snow for too long. But then I got a ping (I guess saniwa senses tingling) that Nagasone was a bit further up the mountain somewhere so I like ran and again started digging around, but eventually we made it up to the outer part of a lodge that was at the top (reminded me very much of the church in Saints Row (2022) lol) and I spotted him coming out of the building!!

I was like EEEAAGHHH WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN I WAS SCARED I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU GOT STUCK UNDER THE SNOWWW

and he was like NO IM PERFECTLY FINE I PROMISE! ME AND SHIRLEY JUST STRUCK THIS AMAZING DEAL EVERYTHING IS GREAT

And so we hung out at the place for a little bit but then...

Well I don't know if there was a timeskip or if the place just morphed or what. But suddenly we were at a big version of QuikTrip (my region's fave gas station lol) and this group of just... Random people were holding everyone hostage. They made everyone sit at tables and they had really tiny little guns lol. I had gotten up to get an eclair so I got put at a separate table than Nagasone, and got sat with my friend, Higekiri, and Hizamaru. So I was at this table just holding my eclair while some person points the tiny gun at us, and I remember feeling like it was an act of defiance/intimidation every time I took a bite of the eclair and just stared at them LOL

And I specifically remember whispering to my friend "this is just like we do in d&d: we talk shit about the enemy and it makes them easier to defeat" and so we did.

We were like "why are your guns so small?" "why are you holding hostages in a quiktrip?" "why didn't you lock the doors?"

And then my friend asks "hey, can I see your gun?"

and they LET HER??? so she's like "oh wow--" and immediately points it back at them. And I reach into my cloak pocket and pull out my own teeny tiny gun, except when I pull the trigger the end of it extends diagonally up so the end of it hits the person's glasses with the tiniest of "tink"s. Turns out it's not a gun it's a weird novelty toy. But the person is like "oho, that's clever. It's a shock device". It's not, but I let them think it is LOL

but I guess Nagasone sees this happen and gets worried when some of the other criminals look concerned, so he starts talking to them about their plan and stuff and somehow HE ALSO MANAGES TO GET ONE OF THEIR GUNS???

And then Yamanbagiri and Chougi at another table are called up to ....?? Idk, prove themselves? Demonstrate something? Just do something cool with their swords?

So they get up...

Manba pulls out his sword like normal

But then Chougi has like. A plastic longsword. And I'm like oh my god. HES WEARING MY CLOAK. at some point we had switched cloaks for some reason. I realize I have his sword but I cant get up to give it to him

So he goes to pull something else out of the cloak (I think he's just hoping his katana will be there) and out comes another teeny tiny gun, which he "fires" but it's another one of these silly stupid extender guns. And he's getting frustrated so he tries again, and just pulls out a big fucking two-pronged candelabra that I had (for some godforsaken reason) bought at the thrift store earlier. And he just looks so mortified and I'm sitting at my table trying not to laugh because of how he's holding it and his expression

And so I woke up laughing too lol

Writing it out it really doesn't sound that funny but I PROMISE it was so fucking hilarious watching Chougi just keep pulling out random shit and me being like "oh my god" as I realize that it's all my fault HAHA he was so pissed jfjsjdj

[ashintheairlikesnow]

BBU Community Days

@bbu-on-the-side * {Day 15: Collaboration} Create any piece of BBU content together with another community member! Could be a crossover scene with both your characters, a collaboratively developed concept, an illustration to their story, an RP, … Anything goes, as long as you worked together within the BBU!

-

@for-the-love-of-angst and I have an Au where my OC Jameson stumbles into their OC Taron's restaurant and they strike up a sometimes tentative but enduring friendship. For the last day of BBU Community Days, Collaboration, I wanted to write something in our shared little universe)

Jameson slips the bottle into the hidden inside pocket of his coat, his eyes scanning a variety of protein bars in boxes without really reading any of the labels. The orange juice is cold from the line of glass-front fridge sections that run along the entire back of the gas station. It had been easy to take the little orange bottle out and carry it around for a while, browsing, while the gas station was crowded with workers in paint-stained tshirts and clean suits and uniforms.

He had a plastic bag with a burrito in it in the other hand. He'd pay the two dollars for that, and no one would notice the bottle being gone at all.

He exhales, waits a few more seconds, and then shifts to head down the aisle and get in line.

When someone taps on his shoulder, almost too light to feel through his coat, Jameson spins around with his heart in his throat. People turn to look nearby where they stand pouring steaming coffee into paper cups.

Jameson's protest - fuck you, I didn't take shit, asshole - dies when he sees who was standing behind him.

Taron's eyebrows raise. His hair is back and away, caught with a tie at the nape of his neck. Usually it's pulled higher up. Jameson has dreams about taking out the elastic and running his fingers down the textured darkness of it. Has dreams about Taron grabbing his wrists and forcing him against a wall, too. Neither dream is ever going to happen.

That's what makes the dreams safe. Knowing it won't happen makes them feel nicer to wake from. Knowing Taron won't ever do any of the things Jameson wants him to do makes him the safest person on earth for Jameson to fantasize about.

But it still pisses him off when Taron looks so fucking good in a flannel shirt and jeans.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Jameson asks before he can stop himself. "You don't live on this side of town."

"Neither do you," Taron says mildly, smiling a little with one side of his mouth. Jameson's mouth goes dry at the sight. Fucking handsome asshole.

"I don't live anywhere," Jameson counters, shifting from foot to foot a little uneasily. "So I could be everywhere. Why are you here, though?"

"Needed gas." Taron shrugs. He has a cup of coffee in his free hand, a bag hanging off his arm with what looks like doughnuts inside. "Got a call from somebody trying to find a home for goats."

"For goats?"

"For goats."

"And you didn't tell them to fuck off and raise their own fucking goats?"

"Don't mind goats." Taron's smile widens and Jameson knows what name he'll say next the second he sees the adoration in the expression. "Zizi is the one who answered the phone, anyway."

What Zizi wants, Zizi gets, Jameson thinks with no small hint of bitterness. Zizi, Taron's wife and True Love and whatever the fuck else she wants to be. Perfect happy cheerful Zizi who bounces around and is so fucking nice to him that Jameson can't even really be jealous of it hate her because she's so easy to fucking like.

He'd go get her the goats, too, if he's honest.

Or anything else she wanted.

"Oh. Well. Okay. I was just getting myself breakfast-" he holds up the burrito. "Enjoy your... goats, I guess."

Taron snorts. "Take out the juice," He says in a low voice.

Jameson tenses. "I don't have-"

"Yeah, you do." Taron doesn't sound angry. Or upset. Or even disappointed. He's just stating facts. "Come on. Take it out."

Jameson's lip curls in a brief snarl before he grunts a curse and pulls it out from the hidden pocket. "Fine. I'll put it back. I only have enough cash for one fucking thing, so sue me-"

"Want to come see the goats?" Taron interrupts him, head tipped to the side.

"Do I... Do I want to what now-"

"Go with. See the goats. I'll get your breakfast, you help me get the goats back home." He shrugs again. It's a crime, how good he looks just shrugging his shoulders. "Call it a trade."

Jameson looks at the juice, and then back up at Taron's face. "Back to your house?"

"Zizi might need help giving them names," Taron says, and it's an invitation, not a command. He never gives orders, not like that. Jameson wishes he would.

He's grateful in a desperate frightened way that Taron never ever makes a demand.

The only man Jameson has spent any real time with who doesn't.

"Uh... Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'll go with. Can I have coffee though? I'll put the juice back."

"Why grab it if you didn't want it?"

Jameson grins, sharp as a knife. The first smile he's found in days. "Hot coffee is harder to hide."

Taron makes a sound like he's choking back a laugh. "Right. Come on, get your coffee."

He doesn't look over Jameson's shoulder or look close behind him. Just waits patiently while Jameson puts the orange juice back and then gets his own little paper cup of bitter dark coffee, pure shit but at least it's caffeinated shit. He doesn't comment on Jameson adding creamer, or tell him where to stand. He doesn't touch Jameson's lower back or stand too close in line.

He never touches Jameson at all.

It sucks.

It's wonderful.

[faunastanza]

Species: Kobolds -> Seeds: WAR? is Topside - part 2

Species: Kobolds A reference sheet for a species type that seems vaguely fetishistic about melting and fusing with others. There are mentions of MALwire having vague, malevolent plans.

 midichlorians

At this point I feel like all this MALwire blustering never actually goes anywhere, so what's the point, but I might as well be thorough. Merge Swap is the fusion thing ability, it can also let them swap stuff emotionally/spiritually, whatever that means. Socketpuppet was from Circlet of the Sun if you recall, the redacted VN. Basically I think this is saying that MALwire wants to use Merge Swap to connect different Frequencies to each other, but if they don't "solve" for Socketpuppet then it'll cause reality errors. None of this ever comes up later, I'm almost positive.

Seeds: WAR? is Topside Ch 6

 what!!

Out of nowhere, holy crap!! It's the old plot and the old characters!! Jasmaby is on the title card!! It's actually happening!!

Well, eventually. Glip talks more about RP events in their server in the summary, saying they've been running Eastar RP events for about a year after a couple years before that of planning. We never see any of that so I'll take their word for it. They say they're ready to come back to the actual characters again, finally, although they tease that you can find out about the upcoming story early by joining the discord. Glip really wants you to join their discord.

Luneko's Journey: a tale of cosmic care

A zine Glip put together with some people in their discord about death and pets after their pet cat Pearl died. It's sweet and heartfelt, I have nothing but sympathy. Oddly, there is plot in it though.

If you remember from Crash Landing, Alice and a Luneko were [checks notes] okay, Alice was looking for the Mask of the Sun, believing it'd give her the powers to do anything she wanted. Twigs, the Luneko, crashed looking for the Masked Sun and came with Alice. Twigs admonishes Alice that she's broken the sky with her wish, while Alice says it has nothing to do with her and she just wanted a magic wish mask. Twigs says whatever the case, a broken sky (among other things) is the price to pay.

Alice is annoyed and asks if Twigs is going to help or admonish her for thought crimes. Meanwhile angel looking dudes are scurrying around as Alice runs through the city.

 related to being cancelled? you never know

Twigs says that Alice is going to be in big trouble if she can't recognize that "help" can involve telling her that her wishes exploded the sky and such. Alice asks what's going on with the shear in the sky. Twigs says that the Mask of the Sun WAS broken, that it was used and then "malice" broke it in half, but it was restored thanks to the shear in the sky. Alice gets annoyed, thinking that Twigs is blaming her for it, which Twigs doesn't confirm or deny.

Twigs says he doesn't judge her, but any judgement she has for herself will manifest when she crosses... the threshold!! It's a door not unlike the one Orobas went through a million years ago and it appears to be in a fairy ring.

 did jupet die there again

Twigs then says that if Alice wants to slip into "any story", she has to learn herself. "In order to bear the mask of divine creation, you must see the possibility of creation in every act of destruction or there will be nothing left of you", Twigs says. Alice runs through the door, scoffing that she "knows ALL ABOUT play time, Twigs". This seems like a callback to Beleth who had that a sort of catchphrase when in battle, but what conclusions to draw from that, I have no idea. I guess Alice skipped town to a better universe.

There's a second story where Toxinuate and Pengo's character talk about Pearl that is also fully rendered in color. It's mostly very sad, but it does mention that they are apparently in Heaven's Keys right now.

 :(

Seeds: WAR? is Topside - part 1

Several months later, the first installment! Another VN, they're all VNs now. These ones are actually cleaned up and colored, which I think marks the end of the MSPaint era of VNs. Maybe.

We open with Inkcat, although they look a bit different. Someone called Problemedic (get it) calls out to them, calling them Janitor. It's Toxinuate! But she has a new name apparently!

 weird to see you two with clear lines

Problemedic gives Janitor a hug which makes them teary, with them saying that they haven't seen anyone else in a while. Prob asks them what they've been up to then, and Janitor says they've been keeping an eye on Pearl/Purrl, the Luneko from before. Janitor gives Purrl whatever she wants and she's living the high life, so good for her. Janitor says that it is hard to get her to take her medicine, a problem Glip was having with the real life Pearl as well. Problemedic assures her that she's looking for a cure, although Purrl just sulks at this.

Prob fills Janitor in on how she met "the silliest little angel" on Horseshoe, and I forget where Horseshoe is, in Owel or in Eastar. Well, either way, Prob says that they'd met him before in Heaven's Keys, and that they don't know how they both ended up in the same place again. Janitor runs to get their mop while asking Prob what the purpose behind it was. Prob then realizes they don't remember why they were in Heaven's Keys, or what they were doing there. Janitor asks if they were with the silly angel, and Prob isn't sure, they just remember being with someone, sort of.

Prob vaguely recalls showing someone something at the Encore Medical Bay. Is this yet another reference to Circlet of the Sun? You'll never escape that VN! Never!!

 if mr. 5 comes back i'm going to riot

Janitor asks if they had a task there, and Prob can't quite remember, which they find frustrating. Were they explaining Undertakers, dreamers, moles, angels? They do remember a mole. Prob remembers they were tall and they were showing them how to work the control panel for MALwire, maybe, then says that it all feels like a dream now. They say they think it was related to Horseshoe but they can't remember how.

Problemedic continues to struggle with their memory. They say the silly little angel was very worked up over something. When they met again in Horseshoe, Prob says they were checking for "Chordincepts" and the silly angel helped them. Janitor asks about the Chordincepts and Prob says they all broke out, incensing Janitor who says they just cleaned up around here. Prob again says they don't know why it happened, just that it happened. They mention Arcus "taking from the world" and that that could be related.

 Hey they don't have the sun on their apron anymore now that I notice, what gives

Problemedic says they'll check their notes to see, then lament that some ruffians made a mess of them. Perhaps... The Ruffians Three???? They see that all their notes on Owel are in a pile. They ask Janitor what they meant by saying they cleaned up after the Chordincepts. Abruptly we cut to a sort of half-faced TALcat.

 sure why not

The Bitecat asks if they can hug/bite you, and it turns out they're directing this at Amdusias!! Oh my god, it's Amdusias!!!! It turns out to be one of those hallucination fakeouts though as it's just Beleth talking to her.

 weren't you both in an angel dimension turning into each other or something

Anyway, Beleth admonishes Amdusias that they're supposed to be on vacation and she needs to relax. Beleth DID apparently ask if they could hug her though. Amdusias wants formal literal explanations for why as she normally does. It's interesting to compare her as she appears now to as she looked years and years ago.

 a bit smoother and rounder

Amdusias wants to know why Beleth asked to hug her, and Beleth yells that it's because she's their friend and she looked sad. We cut back to the Biteycat asking if Amdusias wants a more specific question, and that they want to play with her.

 stripey tail, jot that down

Amdusias mostly looks annoyed at this, so it's not entirely clear if she's seeing Biteycat or not. She says she looks and feels totally normal. Beleth gives her a look. Suddenly, Biteycat has her head in Amdusias's giant hands and says that they want to act until one of them breaks (everyone is always breaking!) and that they want to do it over and over and over again. No one is apparently paying attention to Bitecat though as Beleth and Amdusias continue on their way looking irritated.

Beleth asks how long Amdusias is going to avoid talking about it, with Biteycat following with "please specify, you are being vague". And then the VN just abruptly stops. IT'S OVER, GET OUT!!

Seeds: WAR? is Topside - part 2 This opens with a title card saying that this is the story of Sona and her angel, "The Host". Sona was Amdusias's doppelganger if you remember, the alternate personality/form that Uniqorns have for stressful situations and the like. We also see AmdTV for the first time in a million years, God damn, all these plot threads all coming back all of a sudden!!

 I think that's AmdTV anyway

Sona sits looking like a my little pony and thinks vague thoughts about someone. She doesn't want someone to be around, although it has nothing to do with that person personally. She says that she was trapped, and now she isn't, and now the other one is trapped, and now they're both trapped, so can they talk? Typical alternate personality power struggles.

Sona calls out hello. She then looks pensive as the narration says she's keenly interested in an exchange student from Micah in Topside, so this is set in the old world I guess. Sona is the naked model in class and the exchange student won't look her in the face, always looking away whenever Sona looks at her. It turns out it's god damn Pride in the most unflattering outfit in the entire world.

 got my big mauve diaper at target

It turns out that Pride is a Bastian with gigantism and that's why she's so enormous. Pride doesn't speak the local language (there are different languages but this almost never comes up) and is only taking the class in Hellside because it's an "Advanced resonance" class. Sona decides to test something and sings a bit to see how Pride responds. Pride is taken aback by this and shakily attempts to sing back to her.

Sona says that she was sent here to train the resonance teachers, since they're the ones who defend the Blackjack Isles, and that being an art model is a side gig to keep herself from being bored. Sona violated a law, it says, as she and Pride look adoringly at each other. Her horn goes raaaarr.

 0z0

She resonated with a Topsider!!! "In her, she is seen" it says. Sona doesn't know what she's resonating with, but it feels very familiar and also very wrong. Just when things are getting ominous

 [audience goes wild]

Andre appears on Pride's canvas!! It's a big old reunion party in here!! Pride and Andre talk but it's all redacted. Pride looks rather unhappy and worried about it though. Meanwhile Sona sits there :)ing and then flashes into AmdTV for a second. And then Pride's canvas turns into AmdTV!!

 andre is out

Pride yells something at Sona but it's redacted. Sona runs forward singing to try and stop the angel or do something anyway. But then it turns out it's Amdusias! She's fallen out of bed and Toxinuate and Orobas are there. I was about to say "I guess Orobas is okay after all" but it turns out she's tied up in a chair while Toxinuate looks concerned and HotheadBeleth stands nearby looking ominous. Amusingly, Orobas just looks really irritated.

 i'm missing my shows, ugh

Tox tells Amdusias that she needs to wait over there and that she's in no condition to walk, and that they'll take care of the problem and "tend to her next". If you guessed this just pisses Amdusias off, then you're correct! She looks angry and then throws up a lot of... meowing... cat keys...? while AmdTV looks on.

uh i'm playing the trombone back here, do you MIND

 I've tried to keep track of the symbolism in this comic and I don't remember ever seeing these before, except as Luneko faces when they're whining for food or something which I don't think is the case here. I've got nothing.

Toxinuate gets closer to presumably biting off Orobas's head while she just looks angrier about it lol. Tox says that there are so many things about Orobas that need fixing, and BelethHead concurs, saying that she only causes problems and doesn't listen. Amdusias struggles to get up with all the weird things coming out of her mouth while her speech is redacted. Toxinuate tells her it's okay and to just rest, and that they can fix it for her, and that they can fix Orobas for her. Just rest, they say.

Amdusias wakes up from ANOTHER nightmare, so I guess she was two layers deep? Orobas does not appear to be with her.

We cut back to Problemedic and Purrl, with Purrl refusing to take her medicine. Then we cut back to Beleth and someone named Devin wondering if Amdusias is still asleep since they want to go to a convention. Devin wonders if they're going to cancel the convention for some unexplained reason, saying that it "looks pretty serious". Beleth says staying at home isn't going to change anything. Devin says that "it" is happening in Trebol proper and not out in the wilderness, and that it even got the "Art Pyramid". Won't the commanders need your help, Devin asks. Shades of Itchy Itchy here.

Beleth says probably but they're on strict orders to be on vacation and they can't get there in time anyway. We get a look at Devin who appears to be a turkey.

 need a lot of hands for this one

Beleth wonders about whatever it is, but reasons that even if it's at the Art Pyramid, that's where Andre is, so it's the strongest point in Trebol, so things will be fine. Beleth and Devin bicker for a bit and leave, with AmdTV showing up ominously on the monitor in the back.

Amdusias, awake, shows up and demands they leave at once. Beleth says that they said they didn't have to go and things will be fine without them. Amdusias insists and Beleth says that they checked with Pride and Baphomet and they both said that Amdusias is too much of a risk to be fighting angels right now. Beleth mentions that Pride isn't answering her compact which catches Amdusias's attention.

Amdusias rails about how Trebol is her home and she should be going back there to defend it, but Beleth is unmoved. They're going to set up a table at the con, although I don't know what any of them are going to be selling. Maybe Devin sells turkey doujinshi or something. Anyway, then the VN just ends.

In the summary, Glip says they're excited about where the story is going, but that it'll take a while to get there. They insist they've been doing a lot of work on it in the background over the past years and they're having fun weaving it all together. If you think the next updates are going to be about these characters, ha ha! Ha ha ha.

[deandrowningdemons]

{ PSA: Just an FYI in case some of you don't already know this. I often RP with myself when i am bored. Basically an easier version of short story writing. This last scene, I am going to write as both as they are both my characters, my muses. I would never do this with someone else's muses. So don't get your panties in a bunch. Here we go, the end of an era ~ Mun Out }

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dean walked into the bar. He could practically feel the tension in the air. He stood in the door way for a moment scanning the bar before his emerald gaze met those familiar blue eyes.

He pushed his lips together and made his way over to her, causally pulling up the bar stool beside her.

Without a word, Kira slid the extra beer to him before taking a drink of her own.

The almost empty bar around them seemed to stop as if time itself had stopped. All eyes upon them.

There was a long silence before Dean asked, " You want to kick my ass at pool again?"

Kira half chuckled and shook her head. Her anxieties all but melted away with that simple question. " I'd love to but," She started, looking up to hold his gaze. " Kind of fucked up my shoulder last night. " She said gaging his reaction.

Dean nodded, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. "Hurt your shoulder. " He repeated. " Last night, huh."

Kira watched him expectantly. Waiting for the pin to drop.

" Another time then?" He suggested.

Kira scoffed and shook her head. " Let's hope not."

Dean let his head drop and scratched the back of his head. Dean sighed and brought his gaze back to hers. " I don't think you have anything to worry about, Kira." He said.

She gave him a questioning look.

Dean smirked. " I hear they caught the, uh, animals that were causing the issues around here." He stated giving her a smile.

Kira couldn't help but laugh. She took a swig from her beer and turned towards him. " I guess that means your job is done?" she questioned.

Dean gave her a nod in agreement. " Yeah, i guess so." He said.

Kira chuckled relief washing over her. " Hey, " She started meeting his gaze once again. " you should probably know what really happened." She started again pausing to gauge his reaction.

Dean pushed his lips together and tilted his head, meeting her eyes. "I'm pretty sure i have a good idea about what happened. I don't need to know any more details. I'd do whatever i had to to protect my family too. " He told her before picking up the glass and emptying the contents and setting it back down. " But i do owe you a thank you. " he paused. " You know for saving my ass and all."

Kira huffed and smiled. " I don't know what you're talking about."

Dean returned her smile and nodded in understanding.

He paused before sliding off the bar stool. " Well, looks like my job is done here. Time to move on to the next town." He told her before heading towards the door.

" Hey Winchester," She called as he was about to the door. "do me a favor and try not to come back to my town." She smiled.

Dean scoffed at the mention of his name. She knew who he was this whole time. He shook his head turning to face her. " Try not to give me a reason to." He said waving his hand in the air before walking out the door.

deandrowningdemons

“That’s cute. I’m actually 26 but thanks for calling me young.” She motioned for them to follow her back through the animal shelter. She took them into the kitchen area where it was a bit more quiet. Kira sat on the table with her feet on one of the chairs. She motioned for them to sit down. As they sat she explained a bit about the shelter. “It was a family business. When my parents died it was passed down to me. We get mostly dogs here but occasionally we’ll have something interesting come in. So why would the FBI be interested in an animal shelter. If you’re looking for some crazy killer animal shouldn’t you be at zoo’s or something?“ 

[dantexlykos]

@corinthbaystarters​

Location: Dionysus’s Bar

All his life, from his earliest childhood memories, Dante had had his magic to rely on. Even in his infancy, it had marked him as different from others in his coven: earth where they were almost all water. His magic was an old friend, one he’d always been able to rely on, to turn to. He depended on it so completely, so wholly, now that it was gone he did not know what was left of him. Dante supposed he had a trade, tattooing, artistry, these were things he could fill his time with, but they weren’t anything like what inspired him, what drove him. Asking him to pick up his tools again was no different than asking a painter to pick up the brush after he’d lost his hands, or a poet to transcribe a limerick after his tongue had been pulled from his skull. 

Dante buried his dart in the board, maybe a bit too aggressively, but it hit the mark just the same. His brow deep and unsettled, he wanted his magic back, but the veil had been gone for a couple of days now, and after pouring through ever resource he could think of, he’d come up with nothing. So, Dante had taken the only natural route that came to mind: he was going to get mind-numbingly drunk and throw darts. “You’re up.”

[autumnslance]

Hi Aeryn! What advice can you give in creating a backstory before 2.0? I don’t know the story of 1.0 or the lore that well, I want to make a good story for RPing or for writing. Any pointers are welcome!

Knowing the 1.0 lore can be handy, but honestly not too necessary, especially depending on your character. Are they from somewhere outside Eorzea? Then 1.0 really doesn't matter beyond the Calamity and the lore the character learns as the player does through ARR. If from Eorzea, even then a character really only needs the broad strokes (and anything specific to their home region/culture). Everything important from 1.0 is available in current lore info, so we don't need to sweat it too much. Besides, they also retconned/reworked a few details from 1.0 when creating ARR, and in the expacs since then, too. Some of that can be blamed IC on aetheric changes with the Rejoining, I guess, but mostly a decade later it doesn't really matter. The stuff that does matter has been brought up in current stories.

Some lore, some advice (or at least what works for me), some options for resources, below the cut, cuz I got this late at night at well, it's me.

Think of it this way: How many details of local, national, or world events of the last 5 to 10 years do you actually remember in detail without looking it up? It all gets kinda hazy, don't it? Now how much history from your childhood, or before you were born? We remember some major things, a few weird or key details maybe, but overall, for many folks, most of it doesn't stick with us as much as our day to day lives, unless we make it a point to know it.

By necessity, a MMO game world is a compacted version of a setting; it shows some representations of key locations, but that's not nearly all there is (the towns are too small and missing key elements, there's not enough farmland, travel is wonky, etc), and no society, culture, etc is a monolith the way things are shorthanded in game. There's wiggle room to make stuff your own.

And it's not like the legacy game is around for anyone to fact check you by pulling up their quest logs. You can massage lore to fit how you like and what works for the character, all anyone--even 1.0 players!--are going to know or remember anymore are those broad strokes and what info can be found in a few preserved cutscene videos/screenshots, or old 1.0 maps and summaries scattered around the internet.

For Dark, as my first character, I kept her story very open and broad strokes. I knew nothing about the game or lore beyond the intro cinematic and my friends explaining how they incorporated 1.0's failure into the story to rebuild it. So she started with a simple, generic backstory that I filled the gaps in as I went. By the time I rolled C'oretta and Aeryn, I had a better grasp of the lore in general, knew how and where to go digging to see if more details about X thing existed or how Y worked, but still left some things open-ended. No character needs every second of their life, or all details of their family, friends, etc, pre-determined and set in stone before roleplay and/or fic writing starts.

I've also stayed flexible as new things are revealed with new expacs; Thavnair in EW means making some adjustments and changes to Aeryn's backstory, but I left spaces in there on purpose for this eventuality, so not hard to paper over. I made up some things about Aeryn's life in Thavnair to give myself wiggle room if things didn't quite mesh with lore once we got it. Most of the time, no one remembers the details but you, and folks really don't care about minor retcons/reworks, so long as it's not affecting their own characters.

The game itself, along with the short stories on the Lodestone, do a pretty good job of going over most of the lore one would need for RP. If wanting to delve more into the deeper world history, and more info on 1.0, a copy of Encyclopaedia Eorzea vol 1 is handy; they are reprinting those finally, and they can be pre-ordered on either the SE site or Amazon. There's also a PDF copy link floating around somewhere (it's likely in my EE tag actually).

@mirkemenagerie I will always recommend as a compilation of lore sources; game, supplementary material, and some interviews/panels with the devs. The blog info all covers 1.0 as well as 2.0, especially since for ARR the devs did go back and summarize or fill in notes of what came before.

YouTube is a good place to find videos about the original game intros and storylines, though they can be really confusing; the Echo sends the WoL back and forth in people's memories from the "present" (the game's start, before the Calamity), and to the time period of the Battle of Silvertear Skies 10 years before that--the one depicted in the initial 1.0 cinematic between the Empire and the Dragons that led to the creation of Keeper of the Lake and the assumed "death" of Midgardsormr.

The main thing in the 1.0 videos though is 1) it's the only time we ever see Actual Yda, in the Gridania flashbacks (and I'm pretty sure Lyse was a later addition/retcon); 2) Y'shtola's Limsa storyline has to do with losing an artifact to an Ascian possessing an elezen man--which comes back around in the Alexander raid storyline in HW, hence her involvement there; 3) Ul'dah's storyline is how Thancred, Minfilia(Ascilia), and F'lhaminn all met, against the backstory of F'lhaminn & friends and what happened to her lover Niellefresne, that's summarized and resolved in Shadowbringers for the main characters, and in Stormblood Alchemist for the side crew.

4) The WoL doesn't know at first they're bouncing back and forth in time/memories (and that wasn't clearly explained until Bozja's intro story and the solo duty into Cid's memory); the sound effect is different and there's no obvious visions. One moment you're with child Ascilia, the next adult Minfilia, but you don't initially know they're the same person. It's meant to be disorienting, but I don't think it was used very effectively and was merely confusing.

5) Urianger arrived later with Louoisoix as the Calamity story took over eventually, and Urianger let all sorts of wild rumors circulate about himself, and the Garleans created more, as he made himself public enemy #1 to distract the Empire from his comrades' activities. 6) Also, the Scions didn't exist yet; it was Minfilia's The Path of the Twelve, and Louisoix's Circle of Knowing. But that's all in the ARR short stories and current lore info.

Honestly, the current game's gotten pretty good at taking supplementary info from the short stories and lorebook and weaving it into the game itself, if not in MSQ then in various sidequests. I never played 1.0, I just spent time looking up old maps (as 1.0 the cities were different, and it had more regions of the world open...though it was all copy-paste-and-spun tiles...), looking through Sounsyy's lore pages, reading the Lodestone short stories, reading through the lore books, and checking on YouTube for FFXIV 1.0 cutscenes.

So don't sweat it too much; look at what's available, come up with some broad ideas to get the gist down, refine as you go and learn more, and be flexible with new lore/changes, and remember no place is a monolith and there can be exceptions to any and all rules, and your RP char will do just fine even if you don't know every detail.

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Tremors

Let's get you out of the sun for a spell.

Please move your fat ass.

Well, when I'm your age I'll probably forget what I eat, too.

How many cows does it take to make a stampede? Is it like three or more? Is there a minimum speed?

You will have long blonde hair, big green eyes, nice full breasts that stand up and say hello, ass that won't quit. And legs, legs that go all the way up!

Yeah, well, I'm getting what I refer to scientifically as "weird vibes."

They're all the same; dead weight. Can't make a decision, can't walk because of their shoes, can't work because of their fingernails. Make my skin crawl!

Well, I'm a victim of circumstance.

Twenty years of looking for a woman exactly like Miss October 1968, and where'd it get me?

Down, honey, down.

The way you worry, you're gonna have a heart attack before you get to survive World War III.

Right. We plan ahead. That way we don't do anything right now.

The idea was; we were ripping you off.

Now, you know I'm good for it.

Are we too easy-going?

If we're gonna take the plunge we oughta have a better plan than that.

Stop it! Stop it, you horrid animal!

God almighty, my mama sure didn't raise me for this.

You're the one's gotta have a plan.

What keeps us doing jobs like this is you dragging your feet.

You gonna stand there in broad daylight and tell me you think I'm the reason we're still here?

I'll call that little bluff.

Forget it, man. It's not worth it.

We did it! We faced temptation and we did not bend!

Last chance, asshole.

Jeez, look at that guy.

You're full of shit.

He must've really been drunk this time.

You damn fool, you owe me on this one

Well, whatever the hell happened it's just one more goddamn good reason to haul ass out of this place.

Hey, where the hell's that asshole dog?

We got a killer on the loose!

He's cutting people's heads off!

I'd high-tail for town if I was you!

The phone is out!

We've gotta get the police up here.

Well, there's sure as hell nothing to stop us now.

Is some higher force at work here?

Are we asking too much of life?

You on a booze break or what?!

Where are the bullets? Don't we have any goddamn bullets?

Hey, I don't want spend the night out here!

What the hell you doing back already?

Unreal! Where'd you get it?

It's disgusting.

So, it's some kind of snake?

It's dead all right. Tore the damn thing in half.

There's gotta be more out there, a lot more.

Slick as snot and I'm not lying.

Look, we organize, we arm ourselves.

We go out, we find those damn snake things, we make 'em extinct.

Might be aliens. Who knows?

Why go looking for trouble?

Phone's out. Road's out. We're on our own.

I'm dead. Let's finish in the morning.

Just keep looking at that beautiful sky.

Damn that thing!

Well, what's wrong with it?

You sure this is where it was?

God, what a stink!

Something's got me!

Oh, God! Get me Out!! GET ME OUT!!

Somebody stop it!

You want the rifle or the Smith?

IT'S GOT ME! IT's GOT ME! AAAAHGH!

You stupid punk!

One of these days, [NAME], somebody's gonna kick your ass.

Come back with the Sheriff.

Come back with the National Guard.

That means we're gonna be out here, like, in the dark.

Oh, man, I hate this shit.

Ride like hell.

How could they bury an entire Plymouth station wagon?

They're under the goddamn ground!

There must be a million of them!

It's gaining on us!

We can do it, we can do it!

We killed the bastard!

Did you just notice something weird?

Think it smells like that 'cause it's dead?

I think they shoot right outta its mouth, hook you, and pull you right in.

Good thing we stopped it before it killed anybody else.

I'm lucky it didn't find me.

This is like, well, let's say it, it's probably the biggest zoological discovery of the century.

Just look at what we caught here!

This is one big mother!

Come on, nobody's ever seen one of these!

There are five more of these things!

Five more?

If you compare the different readings, there have to be five.

There's nothing like them in the fossil record, I'm sure.

I'd vote for outer space. No way those are local boys.

The government built them, a big surprise in the next war.

How the hell's it even know we're still here?

It can sense the slightest seismic vibration, hear every move we make.

I always wanted to be stuck on a desert island. But somehow I always imagined, you know, water.

You know, I hate to be crude, but I'm gonna have to take care of some business here.

I'll tell you, if you ever wanted proof God is a man, this is it.

Running's not a plan. Running is what you do when the plan fails.

You're not even trying to come up with a plan!

Think it's still following us?

You go north, I'll go south.

Well, I'm scared, but I'm not sorry.

All right, I'm about as subtle as a donkey's ass.

You think we're not even safe here in town?

I think we should all get the hell out while the getting's good.

You should have a theory at least.

This valley's just one long smorgasbord and if we don't haul ass outta here we're the next course.

You little ass wipe!

You knock that off or you're gonna be shitting that basketball!

Where are we going to go that's safer than right here?

I'm gonna kick his ass!

Man, you got a gun?!

Big as a house!

Remember, no noise. No vibration.

Get off your pogo stick!

Go back, for chrissake!

Come on! Outta your pants!

Just run! Run like screaming fuck!

This oughta hurt like hell.

So, is that one of your usual jobs, saving peoples' lives?

How long till they go away?

Shut it up! Shut the little bastard up!

Quiet! Quiet you hateful thing!

Chuck him out the door!

Son of a bitchin' lowlife, putrid, scum.

I got enough food here to last us for weeks.

Jesus! Shut it off!

Can't you shout a little quieter?

How the hell long it take you to change a tire?

They're coming after you! They're coming right now!

Big monsters under the ground, [NAME]!

Broke into the wrong goddamn rec room, didn't you, you BASTARD!

We killed that motherfucker!

Uh, be advised, however, there are four more, repeat, four more motherfuckers.

They got one! They killed one of the sons of bitches!

You're not getting any penetration, even with the elephant gun.

Never figured on having to shoot through dirt! Best goddamn bullet stop there is.

They can feel our vibrations, but they can't find us.

The bastards are up to something.

Oh, wow, man! No way! No fucking way, man!

They're gonna tear this whole town out from under us!

We'll come get everybody. Just hang on tight.

Since when the hell's every goddamn thing up to us?!

We don't have a hell of a lot of time here.

We need a helicopter is what we need, or a goddamn tank.

Jesus. It's slower than hell.

Couldn't we distract them somehow?

We need a decoy.

Hey, [NAME], you wanna make a buck?

We're gonna save our asses here!

Get real. I'm faster than you.

Damn. Guess I have to do it.

Watch your ass, shithead.

Don't worry about me, jerkoff.

You goddamn suicidal son of a bitch!

He'll never make it! They're gonna get him!

HEY, YOU SORRY SONS OF BITCHES, COME AND GET ME!

Goddamn good thinking!

Me next!

Get me off of here!

We got about three seconds!

God damn! Armored transport!

What do you think? Max firepower or...?

I'd go for penetration.

Give me a gun! I'll take one!

I wouldn't give you a gun if it was World War Three.

Underground goddamn monsters?!

Any sign of'em?

Maybe they're taking a dump.

What the hell are they doing? They're up to something.

I don't care what they're doing as long as they're doing it way over there.

They dug a trap! I can't believe this!

Hungry?! Eat this!!

Here they come! They're coming back!

They'll sure as hell get us if we stay here!

[NAME] do you have any more of those things?

Then, when the explosion happens, if it drives them away again, we all run like goddamn bastards!

What if it doesn't scare them? What if they don't run?

They're so sensitive to sound, they have to run! It hurts too much!

We're gonna run. Get ready.

They're too fast! You can't outrun them, no way!

It worked! There they go!

You asshole! There's no bullets in this gun!

Could we make it to the mountains?

What's the matter with you? What are you talking about?!

Those animals would have killed you!

You haven't seen what they can do.

They're not falling for it!

I'll make'em pay attention, goddamnit

We can't kill them all.

Use the fucking bomb!

This better be one great plan!

We could make some real money off this whole thing, get in People magazine.

Sell the movie rights.

You're really leaving, huh?

There's going to be major research up here.

And thanks for everything, you know, saving my life and stuff.

Civil? I'm civil.

You're not civil, you're glum.

We got the world by the tail with a downhill pull and all of a sudden you go glum on me.

Somebody paying you to do this?

She just practically asked you for a date.

God, my work is never done.

Fine, make the mistakes I did.

I think I'll just be playing this hand myself.

I'd goddamn worship her.

Can you fly, sucker?! CAN YOU FLY?!

[negans-savior-complex]

Mountain Dew, Banana Milkshake, Latte, Cappuccino, White Tea, Schweppes, Grapefruit Juice

Drinks Ask Game

Mountain Dew - Have your ever disliked something and then changed your mind?

- Yeah, back when I was 10 or 11 when Pokemon was the Big New Popular Thing here, my grandma bought me this Pokemon magazine and in it was a two page article on another anime (Dragonball Z) that was scheduled to air on TV soon. And just looking at that article and seeing the screenshots used to fill me with so much hatred 😂 It was the art style, I thought it was so incredibly fucking stupid looking and I hated it so much. It got even worse when the commercials started airing.

Joke's on me though, I ended up giving it a go out of morbid curiosity and got hooked so bad after only watching one episode, and now 25 years later I still like it. I could talk about Saiyans and all of my headcanon on them aaaallllll day!!!

Banana Milkshake - What “Old Person” things do you do?

- I have no idea if this counts as an old person thing, but when I go to bed and get comfy, I read a book for about 30 minutes. You couldn't catch me doing this 6 years ago.

Latte - What did you think was cool then, when you were a kid but isn’t cool now?

- This is super cringe: my RP buddy, way back in the mid 2000s when I only wrote OCs, we had this story that took place in hell, with demons and such and copious amounts of 'yaoi' and 'bishonen characters'. The world was pretty fleshed out and one of my main characters was the devil... so we joked with each other that we - because our devil character looked like a hot anime dude with wings and he was our favorite - were devil worshipers. Yeah I know. Stupid. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Either way, one day she visited me and we went to this small bookstore in town, run by this old lady, and we went in to ask if she had any books about, you guessed it, satanism. We meant it as a joke, dumb as shit as we were, but of course she didn't think it was funny and chased us out. And that's when I kinda realized that it really wasn't funny at all.

I lost contact with that friend about a year later for different reasons, and while I don't want to put all the blame on her because the devil character was my design and idea and was mostly written by me, she was very anti-Christianity and I think I was pretty influenced by her at the time because I looked up to her a lot (she was like 7 years older than me and super cool in my eyes).

So yeah. Big Yikes. I feel like a dodged a bullet when we stopped being friends.

Cappuccino – You only get 3 words to describe yourself – what are they?

- Creative, loyal, shy

White Tea - What’s one thing that can instantly make your day better?

- Getting to sit down, relax and finally talk to my friends, especially after a long day T^T

Schweppes – What do you wish you were really good at?

- Being naturally confident. Most of the time my confidence is completely faked but I wish I could just... go and do the things I wanna do, meet people and go places I've never been before without my own anxiety-ridden brain holding me back all the time.

Grapefruit Juice - When you have 30 minutes of free-time, how do you pass the time?

- Youtube and Reddit

@wrathfulmercy thanks bae <3

[sebastianshaw]

RP Meme from The Lost Boys

I told you to stay off the boardwalk.

Hey, I liked that song.

I don't see any boogeymen or nasty guys.

Wait. That's from my era!

That's the ocean air.

Smells like someone died.

Looks like he's dead. No, he's just a deep sleeper.

If he's dead, can we go back to [PLACE]?

What's wrong with this picture? There's no TV. Have you seen a TV? I haven't seen a TV.

You're the only woman I ever knew who didn't improve her situation by getting divorced.

A big legal war wasn't going to improve anybody's situation.

Ouch. My hair.

Talk about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

We've got some rules around here. Second shelf is

mine. That's where I keep my root beers and my double-thick Oreo cookies. Nobody touches the second shelf but me.

There's another rule around here, and I want you to pay

close attention. Don't touch anything. Everything is exactly where I want it.

There are some bad elements around here.

You're telling me we've moved to the murder capital of the world?

If all the corpses buried around here were to stand up all at once we'd have one hell of a population problem.

I just like to read the TV Guide. Read the TV Guide, you don't need a TV.

I was so worried. Don't run off like that.

We were that age, too, once. Only they dress better.

You have a generous nature. I like that in a person.

So how may I help you this evening? We have it all.

I look that needy, huh?

You're chasing that girl, aren't you?

I'm at the mercy of your sex glands.

Don't you have something better to do than follow me around all night?

Just scoping your civilian wardrobe.

Listen buddy, if you're looking for the diet frozen-yogurt bar, it went out of business last summer.

That's a very serious book, man.

Only five in existence.

Where the hell are you from? Krypton?

Nobody drives this baby but me.

We have to let it warm up a little. Hear that sound? Just like a baby pussycat.

That's as close to town as I like to get.

It's a pretty cool place. If you're a Martian. Or a vampire.

Are you guys sniffing old newsprint or something?

You think you really know what's happening here, don't you? Well, I'll tell you something. You don't know shit buddy.

This is just our cover. We are dedicated to a higher

purpose. We're fighters for Truth Justice, and the American

way.

Think of it more as a survival manual.

There's our number on the back and pray you never need to call us.

I'll pray I never need to call you.

If you want your ear pierced, I'll do it.

I came this close to being called Moon Beam or Moon Child Or something like that.

I can't beat your bike.

You don't have to beat me, [NAME]. You just have to try

and keep up.

Just you! Come on! Just you!

That's what I love about this place. You ask, and then you get.

I can never sleep with the closet door open, either. Not even a crack.

Don't sneak up on people like that!

What, you don't like rice? Tell me [NAME], how could a

billion Chinese people be wrong? Come on!

You're eating maggots. How do they taste?

Sorry about that. No hard feelings, huh?

Drink some of this, [NAME]. Be one of us.

Give me those sunglasses.

You need sunglasses to talk on the phone?

Are you freebasing? Inquiring minds want to know.

Anything in here that might pass for after-shave?

Have a big date tonight, [NAME]?

Lose the earring, [NAME]. It's not you. It's definitely

not you.

All you do is give attitude lately.

Go take your bath.

What did you do to my dog, asshole?

I didn't hurt him. He bit me. This is my blood.

Why did he bite you, huh? What did you do to him?

He was protecting you.

Look at your reflection in the mirror. You're a creature of

the night, [NAME]. Just like out of a comic book.

My own brother/sister/friend/etc, a goddam shit-sucking vampire.

You wait 'til[NAME] finds out!

Just let me talk. Wait a minute! [NAME]!

You did the right thing by calling us.

Does the sunlight freak him out?

He wears sunglasses in the house.

He always had bad breath, though.

He's a vampire all right. Here's what you do.

I can't do that! He's my brother/sister/mother/friend/etc!

You better get yourself a garlic T-shirt, buddy. Or it's

your funeral.

I think we have to have a real long talk about something.

[NAME] help! He's coming to get me!

[NAME], help me! Open up! Help me! [NAME], open the window!

So what are you, the flying nun?

We're gonna work this out. We*re gonna work this out. Trust

me, okay?

I thought I saw something on my window, but I guess I got carried away.

I would like to have a personal life too.

Can I sleep in here with you tonight?

You smell like garlic.

What's happening to me, [NAME]?

I don't know how to help you.

Aren't we friends anymore?

Then let's act like friends. Let's talk.

We could talk about anything you want to talk about.

I have more serious things on my mind than girls and school. Things I'm dealing with.

Looks like I wasn't the only one who got lucky last night.

The dog chased my mom like the Hounds of Hell from Vampires

Everywhere.

We've been aware of some very serious vampire activity in

town for a long time.

[PLACE] has become a haven for the undead.

As a matter of fact, we're almost certain that ghouls and

werewolves occupy high position at City Hall.

Kill your brother/sister/boyfriend/aunt/best friend/etc, you'll feel better!

Look, it says here that if you kill the head vampire all half-vampires will return to normal.

Does he know who the head vampire is?

You'll have to kill him. And if you don't, we will.

Vampire require a daytime protector, a guardian to watch

over them as they sleep. Fierce dogs, the Hounds of Hell,

are often employed for this purpose.

Truth, Justice, The American way triumphs.

Smells good. When do we eat?

Are we gonna have company again?

Well, you are the man of the house and I'm not coming in until you invite me.

He promises to behave if you come back.

I didn't know you were having guests.

Our batting average isn't terrific, is it? Zero for two.

You're so sweet to him.

I don't know what got in to him. He's not like that.

If you ever want to see [NAME] again, you better come with

us now.

Initiation's over, [NAME]. Time to join the club.

Don't kill me, [NAME]. I'm basically a good kid, so just

don't kill me.

Just work with me and I can help you. You'll be okay.

Is she one of them?

You shut the window and lock your door.

She's one of them! And don't tell me it doesn't make her a

bad person, [NAME]!

Yes, and it's my fault. You would've not met me, if I

hadn't liked you. I tried to warn you.

You drank someone's blood? Are you crazy?

We're not them.

Why didn't you kill me last night?

You're supposed to be my first.

What are you doing here? What do you want from me?

Don't kill anybody until we get back to you!

I got connections.

The night crawler. The bloodsucker. El Vampiro.

I don't want you going down there.

Look, this isn't a comic book, [NAME]. These guys are

brutal killers.

Who'd you rather go down in with you? Them or me?

If something happens down there, I won't have the strength

to protect you.

This time I'll protect you.

Even though you're a vampire, you're still my brother/sister/friend/etc

If you try to stop us, or vamp out in any way, I'll stake

you without even thinking twice about it!

Where did you say you met these guys?

Don't you touch her. Stay away from her.

Flies and the undead go together like bullets and guns.

There must be coffins here someplace.

I thought they'd be in coffins.

That's what this cave is. It's one giant coffin.

Right now they're at their most vulnerable. Easy pickings.

Remember. You just have to kill the leader.

We don't know which one he is.

I guess we'll just have to kill them all.

What's that, a little vampire humor? It wasn't funny.

Good night, bloodsucker.

We blew it, man! We lost it!

We unraveled in the face of the enemy!

They pulled a mind-scramble on us!

We don't ride with vampires.

"Burn rubber" does not mean warp speed!

Your dog knows a flesh-eater when he smells one.

The sun goes down. They'll be looking for us.

[PLACE] is crawling with vampires

They're coming to the house as soon as it gets dark!

I'm gonna see [NAME] tonight, and you're trying to ruin it for me.

I don't know what you don't want me to see.

I'm not talking about [NAME]! To hell with [NAME]!

Good. That's just the way we like it.

We've got a date tonight?

They'll be coming for all of us.

It's just old memories coming back.

Why are you so jumpy tonight?

He seemed so sincere, but it's insane.

Tell me. I promise not to laugh. Honest.

I think I should warn you all when a vampire dies, it's never a pretty sight.

Some yell and scream. Some go quietly. Some explode. Some implode. But all will try to take you with them.

Don't go out there! Stop him!

I say we terminate them right now.

You're mine. You killed [NAME]

Try the holy water, dead breath!

I nailed one of them downstairs with a bow and arrow.

We trashed the one that looked like Twisted Sister.

We totally annihilated his night stalkin' ass!

Death to all vampires!

We are awesome monster bashers!

Holy shit! The attack of Eddie Monster!

Stop! Get away from him! Just stay away from him! He's just

a little boy.

You're afraid to face me, [NAME]?

I tried to make you immortal.

You tried to make me a killer!

Stop fighting me, [NAME]. I don't want to kill you. Join us.

It is too late, my blood is in your veins.

Don't let them see me like this.

What happened to your face?

I knew it. You are the head vampire.

You're the secret [NAME] was protecting.

Don't ever invite a vampire into your house, you silly boy/girl/etc.

It renders you powerless.

Has everyone gone crazy? What's the matter with all of you?

It was you I was after, all along, [NAME]

It was all going to be so perfect, [NAME]

Just like one big happy family.

Great. The bloodsucking Brady Bunch.

I still want you, [NAME]. I haven't changed my mind about that.

I didn't invite you this time, [NAME]

Don't you touch my mother/father/son/dog/etc

Don't fight, [NAME]. It's so much better if you don't fight.

How much do you think we should charge them for this?

One thing about living in [PLACE] I never could

stomach--all the damn vampires.

[lxchara-dreemurrxl]

~BASIC INFO~

Name: Chara Willows [adopted last name Dreemurr]

The name Chara is born with is changed when they fall Underground, as they wanted to start a new identity at the time. Their original first name is for the most part unknown except for themselves. The last name was changed to Dreemurr when they were adopted by the Dreemurr family.

Nickname(s): Char, though most don't really use nicknames for her. After all, their name isn't too difficult to say. There are some more threatening names, but those vary depending on the person.

Gender: Non-binary

Depending on the RP, I can use a masculine or a feminine version, but my default will be they/them unless asked for otherwise.

Age: Default age will be eight years old, but we can go older or younger depending on the roleplay. I have a few main aged Chara's I'm willing to play if requested, which I will elaborate on here.

Three: Toddler Chara. This will probably be more likely to be used if someone would like to look after the little demon. This is DEFINITELY a no romance.

Six: Little kid. Slightly more mature than three year old Chara, but still just as mischievous. They can be out on their own, but not too far from another person since they're still young. That can change depending on the plot, though. This is a no romance. Maybe some cute kindergarten crush stuff, but no kissing or anything.

Eight: My default! Canon Chara. They definitely give off quite a creepy vibe and are extremely determined and clever, though that can be used for negativity. They're more a chaotic neutral, doing what benefits them most at the time. Chara is also not the best person. They say some very mean things, simply because they don't really mind hurting someone's feeling. The truth hurts sometimes. They are also really manipulative for a kid that age. I will do some romance with this, but at most a little kiss on the cheek and handholding. Nothing nasty, this is a kid.

Twelve: More mature and slightly smarter. They know what they want and how to get it when they want it, which has earned them quite a few enemies. Chara isn't a terrible person entirely, they do have attachments to certain people, they just don't like to show it.

Twenty: Adult. Chara is definitely a lot more mature now, and is a fair bit less cruel. They still have their manipulative talents and their brutal honesty, but they don't go out of their way to hurt someone and show affection a bit better. Plus, they've found other hobbies, one of which being baking (which they aren't good at but enjoy) and photography (something they show clear talent with).

I can do other ages as well, if requested!

Weapons: Knives.

Fighting Style: Basically, slash and hit hard. There is no mercy if you strike a fight with Chara.

~RELATIONSHIP INFO~

Friends With: Depends on RP, but usually canon friendships stand. EX: Asriel Dreemurr.

Neutral With: Depends on the RP

Enemies With: Depends, but they certainly don't have a good relationship with Sans.

Family: Toriel Dreemurr (adoptive mother), Asgore Dreemurr (adoptive father), Asriel Dreemurr (adoptive brother)

Crush(es): Depends

Relationship (dating) Status: Single

~PERSONALITY~

Personality Towards Humans: Distasteful, unless they've formed a positive relationship with one or two in particular. Humans are soulless, cruel people in their eyes, even though they technically are ok themselves. It's complicated.

Personality Towards Strangers: Cold and generally rude.

Personality Towards Friends: They're definitely more friendly, though they aren't good at all when it comes to expressing their care. Their mainly more joking and protective.

Personality Towards Enemies: Sickly sweet. They generally prefer to make threats and keep it looking cutesy and kind in a sinister way, but once you cross the line, they won't hesitate to cut you down.

Personality Towards Allies: It's all work and for their own benefit. Don't expect them to try and get personal with you on their own.

Personality Towards Family: Kinder. Their adoptive family was the only real family that they had ever had, so why wouldn't they care greatly for them?

Strengths: Physical attacks, mental manipulatiom

Weaknesses: ACTing or convincing others not to fight. They also struggle when it comes to resisting a fight.

Flaws: They can't back down from a fight. Ever. That tends to get them hurt.

Likes: Chocolate, flowers, knives, Toriel's awesome pie.

Dislikes: Bright lights, sickness, tight spaces, needles.

Fears: Death.

~APPEARANCE~

Eye Color: Crimson

Clothes: Canon outfit. Brown shorts reaching their knees, sneakers, and a green and yellow sweater with a brown undershirt.

Hair: Short and slightly wavy light brown.

Skin: Pale, almost like a ghost.

Other: Their cheeks are constantly rosy and pink. No, they aren't blushing, it's just how they look. When they get mad, though, it tends to get darker and their eyes get slightly brighter.

~OTHER INFO~

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Items: A golden locket with a photo of them and Asriel inside, along with a knife with a leather handle and a glistening silver blade.

~BACKSTORY~

Chara was born in a small town near Mount Ebott. They were abandoned as a child and taken to an orphanage, where they spent most of their early childhood living among other children. They were always regarded as weird and creepy due to their sort of heartless smile and their crimson colored eyes.

They were a 'demon' to the other children.

Chara took it for a long time. The constant torment and yelling and hitting, and they rarely fought back. One day, though, the realization dawned on them. They were getting hurt because they were weak. They didn't fight back, they didn't return the hurt.

So, they started to adapt the mentality they hold now. Chara began picking fights with their tormentors within the orphanage. If they came near them, they would make threats and clever insults to scare the others off.

One day, a boy approached them and took it way too far. The things he called them made them angry beyond belief. They had taken this for so long and had even started returning some of it; hadn't anyone gotten the message? Hadn't anyone realized that Chara wasn't someone to be messed with?

They snapped.

They jumped on him, and started hitting with anything they could find.

Long story short, the guy didn't walk away from that encounter.

Chara realized shortly after their rage had vanished for the most part what they had done and the crowd that had gathered around them. They weren't going to be walking away from this if any adults caught them, were they? The kid panicked, grabbed their knife, and ran towards the only place they knew nobody would follow them.

Mount Ebbot.

The rest you know, I'd guess.

Art Credit:

http://pepper-mint.tumblr.com/post/164353525491/while-you-wait-for-more-updates-have-a-malechara

[hubariatheantiquitor]

Some Shipping Charts

I live in a universe where I don't have to introduce my OCs, I can just write about them and people will love them. But Uh... Here we are... I guess.

I've got stuff for Keiran and Finch, I also have some new Couples For myself I guess, Amos Kathrine and Elfinnia, (though I might not write for Elfie as much at first I'm still figuring her out... I see you looking, i will figure her out, that is a promise and a threat). I might... I might write some fanfic (Various fandoms) for reader inserts, I'm not afraid no sir, that'd be ridiculous...

Anyway Oc stuff under the cut I guess

Keiran and Finch, my beloveds.

Art For Keiran is done by my dear friend @koi-n-central-rp we dont have Finch art because we dont, he's handsome I promise... Either way

Keiran is an Immortal elf man who likes to cause mischief for the people around him, he's had a very rough past and is still working through his issues. He doesn't know he's an Archfey, I dont quite remember how he finds out that he is one but for the most part he kind of just lives his life thinking he's cursed with something akin to true immortality and deals with that by committing crimes and sleeping with your local government official.

Finch darling, is the High Mage of Aetheridge, which doesn't mean a damn thing to anyone but my friends, and not even to the folks reading the comic yet, but either way, He is your local government official is what I'm getting at, he's the youngest member of the council and drowns himself in work, he's a wizard we all love a wizard, and he's just kind of a guy, just a human guy, his romance with Keiran caught everyone by surprise cause, 'That guy? falling in love with the devilish rogue that pisses off Lavinia, insane' yet here they are making out on your counter, sorry it's true, I was the toaster.

Kathrine Elizabeth Ward, Amos Adler, and Elfinnia Mildew

I love them so much your honor, I made Amos up on accident, and I've hit the point in my relationship with him where I'm hurting him mentally and physically for the plot, the average life cycle of a Hubris oc I know.

Better yet, yall will get the hang of it when we get around to it, cause there is a pattern and I will *never* fail to follow it because I'm not a coward.

Moving on

Kathrine Elizabeth Ward was a player character for a Cowboy dungeons and Dragons campaign, she is a Warlock, she had a pact Weapon (a hunting rifle) and her patron was a shadowy demon thing that first introduced itself as a mother for Kathrine, and they've been together for 12 years. Kathrine's, unique situation is that Mother came to her after the death of her actual real mother and offered to take the pain in exchange for teaching Kathrine how to take care of herself, Kathrine agreed not knowing that along with the pain Mother took everything else with it, and feeds off of her emotional energy, rendering Katherine, Literally emotionless. I love her Immensely your honor.

Elfinnia Mildew, was @koi-n-central-rp 's character for that same cowboy campaign, she is an elven ranger/fighter, and She is the oldest in the group obviously, her mother passed away long before the campaign started from, illness if I'm remembering correctly, and she was left to fend for herself, (with her trusty companion Sally Mae) Ms. Elfinnia is out of touch, and has trouble reading, but she's learning, and she's literally the sunshine of this romantic situation.

Amos Adler... need I say more your honor,

I will, dont look at me like that, Amos Adler, is an Orc Blooded Bounty hunter from a small nowhere town, he's our 'outlaw with a heart' and he's been doing this since the ripe old age of 16. Despite his Orc blood Amos looks rather human, one could mistake him for a half-elf, with the short point of his ears, He doesn't know his parents and doesn't care to, prefers to spend his time alone with his horse Pearl, that being until he's forced to work with Ms. Finny, and Ms. Kathrine, he takes to them more than hed ever imagined he would, Regardless he's our 'Bad Boy' romance option your honor.

[maddiehelps]

rp starters: the mentalist

"He irks me. He's irksome."

"I'm acknowledging the fact that you might be right, that's all."

"If you wanted to come back, I couldn't stop you."

"No, I won't say please, go screw yourself."

"They can communicate with the other side. I've seen it myself."

"Don't fret, I wouldn't seduce you over a meal. That'd be very sophomoric."

"It's unprofessional and it's illegal. It's totally out of bounds."

"He's a gluttonous baby. He's self indulgent. He wants what he wants and he takes it."

"It's fascinating, the way your mind works."

"Being sorry is far worse punishment than being dead."

"Very few people ever feel truly sorry for the bad things they've done."

"They were soulmates in their strange own way."

"You just now made the worst mistake of your miserable little life."

"No matter how this turns out, I've made worse mistakes."

"You're lonely, you're depressed, you're addicted to drugs and pornography and a little nuts, to be honest."

"You're exactly the kind of man that does terrible things to women."

"Picture them naked and ravenously hungry."

"I mistakenly treated him like a responsible adult."

"Who doesn't want love and affection?"

"Seduction's not my strong point."

"He stares at the back of her neck for several hours. Women love that."

"The handsome one... gay, yes?"

"Anything can happen on TV. Where have you seen that done in real life?"

"I don't think it's right to bet on such things."

"I got us a table booked at the best restaurant in town. Apparently they tell you the name of the cow your steak came from."

"Why do we get so hung up on every little law everyone breaks?"

"You got a choice. You can call ghostbusters or we can take this lady downtown."

"I've never seen a zebra, doesn't mean they don't exist."

"I don't get zoos. You pay money to look at animals. Why?"

"This is like believing in the Easter Bunny."

"I think it's important to love oneself. How do you feel about yourself?"

"I think you act assured and arrogant, but inside you are troubled with deep guilt and self-loathing."

"You're more than a little unstable."

"Your calling. Gift, if you like. There's no doubt you have it. Why'd you give it up?"

"They say your brain gets cooked if you use 'em a lot. Make you infertile, too."

"She's a departed soul, not a wedding singer. You can't book her in advance."

"I guess time doesn't mean much when you're dead forever."

"Uh, I smell dead people."

"The only things beyond my understanding are golf and musical theater of the 30s and 40s."

"If you want to get ahead in life, sometimes you have to be a bitch. I know you know how."

"It's all about the balance, yin-yang, nice-bitch. A little bit of bitch inside the nice, a little bit of nice inside the bitch."

"I always know when you're lying. Sometimes I let you think you've fooled me just so you don't feel bad."

"Just because someone makes their bed, why do they have to lie in it? What's to stop them from lying in another bed? Or on the floor for that matter?"

"I had no idea you were so bourgeois and conventional on the issue."

"I don't care about the law. I care about justice, and justice says he deserves to suffer."

"That's not justice, that's vengeance."

"That was rather good, I thought. Total nonsense, but quite good nonetheless."

"My condolences. It happens. You'll learn to live with it."

"I went through a rough patch. Did a little time in a hospital."

"I know there's nothing shameful about having a breakdown, but I gotta confess, I am ashamed of it."

"I've stuck my stupid neck out for you for the umpteenth time. I think I deserve the truth."

"You hate not being the one in control and yet you're willing to overcome your irrational fears to cheer me up. That's a beautiful thing."

"Crazy don't make him innocent."

"Do you know what's down there? Do you know what your soul is made of?"

[plac3h0lder]

(OC RP Pt. 5) "Don't you know what it's like to be objectified?" Fox gasped, shaking. "The strangers made me feel like I was an easy target for disgusting needs. I wish to go back and change it and I know I should've been smarter before. All I wanted in my life was happiness, but no. That had to happened. It took me an entire year for me to get used to someone hugging me or holding my hand because of what they did to me. I can still feel the blood in my hands.". She looked at her hands in awe.

“..It’s about you all the time, isn’t it? You’re not the only one who’s treated like an object. Hell, i AM an object. But i guess you didn’t know that..”

“My entire existence is based around one single thing. Before i was even BORN i was given orders and a purpose i can’t follow and don’t want too. Does that matter? No. I’m not even a person. I’m an experiment in the making, an item, a contract.”

“The minute i was born my name was signed down by my dad to literally allow workers to force me away into the Membrane Industries office after my dad gives out. I was forced into isolation at age five so i can learn and educate myself on major science with my dad. I couldn’t even see my sister. By the time i was in school i was immediately seen as a target for foul play because of who i was. I was pricked, poked, hit, cut, beaten, shoved, pulled, basically everything that defines ‘bully’ in a word.”

“’Til this day, since day one, that behavior has continued. I wasn’t even allowed to like video games and play with my sister because my dad saw it as a burden and an interruption for my research and education. I was never allowed hobbies or any of that because he ‘wanted the best for me’, and he knew what i wanted between needed. In fact, he’s SO ashamed of me liking the paranormal that he LAUGHS at me with his colleagues and even MOVED AWAY so he wouldn’t have to be seen with me. I’m literally nothing but a failed experiment to him and EVERYONE ELSE in that office. Everyone in town knows my name and they despise it. Even people who haven’t MET me know my name means trouble. My name is USED as an INSULT. Even adults resort to violence to keep me away..”

“I’m not supposed to have friends. I’m not supposed to even be here right now. So, just, when you say ‘objectified,’ please remember that what happened to you is in the past and you don’t have to worry about it anymore. For me? I will literally be an object for the rest of my life. I think you’re okay. THAT, AND THE FACT THAT YOU’RE A LITERAL ALIEN WHO CAN LEAVE EARTH AT ANYTIME. Do you just.. Not use your PAK legs or something?”

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 11 "Black Friday"

"Be careful. I'd really like to kiss you again."

"I'm saving my energy for Black Friday doorbusters tomorrow morning."

"How about you do the honors?"

"Oh, the holidays. That festive time of year where everyone's decked out in their Christmas finest."

"The season of joy and love and presents begins when the clock strikes midnight."

"I thought you got all your clothing hand-delivered by A-list designers."

"Black Friday is about buying deliberately cheap, totally forgettable Christmas gifts for friends. The obvious cheapness of the gift makes them question our friendship and makes them way easier to manipulate as they try desperately to get back on my good side."

"Is this black toilet paper?"

"Amazing. A pair of mink albino boy shorts."

"I bribe the dude who deals weed off the loading dock to let me in a half hour early."

"Torturing these soulless manatees of senseless consumerism brings me so much joy. And isn't joy what the holiday season's all about?"

'At first I was like, "What a weird turkey." And then it clicked. Like... "Damn, that's a head."

"When you agree with me, it makes me question whether I actually agree with me."

"I am gonna take this opportunity to be the strong parental influence you have never had."

"You are gonna march over to that sofa right now and you're gonna sit down because you are in a time out."

"I'm sorry. Did you just put me on a time out? You do realize I'm not seven, right?"

"Well, behold how badly you've failed."

"I think it's pretty safe to assume that your career is over."

"Now, if you'll excuse us, we're going to the mall to exercise our patriotic right to join hundreds of thousands of our fellow out-of-breath Americans in sweatpants as they make frenzied, ill-thought-out purchases of cheap, crappy garbage they can't afford and don't need. To deny us of that right would be un-American."

"Let's go, sluts."

"I want to know what I'm being charged with."

"You drove your pickup truck through the front window of a Best Buy."

"You killed or maimed people. Let's go."

"Sounds awful, but I'd keep that to yourself."

"You're not really helping yourself."

"Most of the uniformed cops out there are working on a volunteer basis because they get backed up inside if they don't crack a few skulls every day."

"There's a killer on the loose and you're telling us this town has no police force?"

"I don't understand why you have to get us the crappiest gifts possible and then make sure we know about it beforehand just to ruin the surprise."

"I mean, that's like bringing pineapples to Hawaii."

"So would you feel the need to waste $13,000 buying me something I already have?"

"Maybe instead of using my disgusting wealth to buy my friends crap, I should use my disgusting wealth to buy my friends things they would actually enjoy."

"The mall is deserted."

"Oh, go on and shoot me, hag. It'll just make me young and skinny forever and you'll still be old. Come on, finish me off, you shriveled, old crone!"

"First day on the job and I caught a killer."

"Wait, you have a gun?"

"Damn! Why didn't I shoot him when I had the chance?"

"How's your crossbow wound?"

"The arrow missed all major arteries, and I'm currently rolling on some sweet painkillers."

"What exactly are you proposing?"

"I've always had this vision of a band of sisters who stand together like an impenetrable community of shields who kept everyone safe and secure."

"Sometimes, instead of shields, we need swords."

"No one is going to help us."

"No one is going to stop this until we are all dead."

"Well, I'm sorry, but she is a vindictive, amoral woman who no one is gonna miss."

"I say we poison her."

"Did you ever do it in my bed?"

"So you were gay lovers?"

"No, we were not gay lovers."

"I'm an investigative journalist."

"Well, you know, I really love the idea of a bunch of guys from different backgrounds getting together and forming a brotherhood for life."

"Have you ever been to a driving range?"

"What sort of ab regimen are you rocking, bro?"

"I guess the fact that you and I cannot stand one another is finally out in the open."

"Name your weapon."

"So pick your weapon. You can choose sabres, guns, baseball bats, small pebbles, spoons, doesn't matter to me. What does matter, is that we will fight, and we will fight to the death."

"Well, I am sorry that took so long, but, you know, a watched pot never boils."

"Being a millennial feminist means growing up listening to Taylor Swift say she doesn't like to think of the world as boys versus girls."

"That's not what feminism was about."

"How come all the pictures on the wall are selfies?"

"Oh, it smells amazing."

"Where did you get puffer fish venom?"

"I want to be there when she dies."

"That's bliss!"

"Is it nutmeg?"

"I am like a soldier at war. I am killing to stop more killing. It's totally justified."

"But what about moral law?"

"Oh, that would be hard for you?"

"I don't "rage" on Tuesday nights or have competitions about how many girls I can have sex with in one day."

"What I'm trying to say is guys join fraternities to get a sense of structure in their lives. Problem is the structure

they're buying into is antiquated. It's misogynistic and hierarchical and dangerous."

"It's misogynistic and hierarchical and dangerous."

"I don't think I'm in the right headspace right now."

"You're a rare breed, one of the true good guys."

"That's the weirdest explanation for anything I've ever heard."

"We need to think of new ways to kill her!"

"I'm really gonna cherish our time here together."

"Killing is wrong, but, under this circumstance, I don't know what other choice we have."

"Hold on, sluts."

"When I was your age, I was thoughtless about sex."

"If you don't think you're ready, you probably aren't. And if you aren't, well, then no good can come from doing it, anyway."

"The main thing is you have to be perfectly dry. The cryosauna is set to 200 degrees below zero, so any water on your skin freeze instantly."

"How come there hasn't been any screaming?"

"No, we need to get away while we still can."

"Hey, hey, it's enough. The point has been made."

"Why do you want to continue taking this any further?"

"Yes, I feel guilty!"

"Don't you ever call me again."

"I heard about these Buddhist Monks that found a way to meditate, so they can sit outside all night, way, way up in the Himalayas in weather that would kill a normal person, but their core temperature stays totally normal."

"You're thinking of the movie Teen Wolf, you brainless gash, which is not, in fact, a documentary!"

"Uh, Rasputin. He was a mystical Russian peasant who became a close advisor of Tsar Nicholas II because he could magically cure Prince Alexei of his hemophilia."

"Okay, this seems totally not germane to what we're talking about, so can we please just skip ahead?"

"Maybe she has some magical powers that make her unable to die, like some horror movie villain, like Michael Myers, or Jason, or Dr. Giggles."

"So, maybe try on a size zero."

"Okay, I'm not gonna try on the size zero because I won't fit into the size zero."

"This is discrimination!"

"Look at her. Give her something. Give her something to be happy!"

"Come on, what is wrong with these idiots?!"

"Why did you ask me to meet you here? And why are you carrying a bag clearly filled with chains?"

"I thought we could talk about bondage and go for a swim."

"You're all packed up. I thought you were staying until you cracked the case."

"I was just gonna go to the woods and write or something,

like Thoreau, but with WiFi."

"I mean, maybe I could come with you. Might be kind of romantic, you know?"

"I could bring a slow cooker, and we could talk about the case all night over short ribs?"

"Well, I do love short ribs."

"I'll always be able to say that my first was with a great, great, great guy."

"I am a sentient grown woman who has been through

hell the past few weeks, and I'm sitting next to you, now, with open eyes and an open heart, telling you that I want to give myself to you."

[sebastianshaw]

RP meme from "Clerks"

Man goes into cage. Cage goes into salsa. Shark's in the salsa. Our shark.

Bunch of savages in this town

There's a million fine looking girls in the world. But they don't all bring you lasagna to work. Most of them just cheat on you.

What do you mean there's no ice? You mean I gotta drink this coffee hot?

Ooh! Navy seals!

Do you have that one with that guy who was in that movie that came out last year?

That's beautiful, man

There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?

This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers.

Yeah. [NAME], your a rude motherfucker, you know that? But you're cute as hell. I could go down on you, suck you, line up three other guys, make like a circus seal.

That's what life is, a series of down endings.

All 'Jedi' had was a bunch of Muppets.

My mom's been fuckin' a dead guy for 30 years. I call him dad.

They say so much, but they never tell you if it's any good.

I don't watch movies

Well, have you heard anything about either one of them?

I find it's best to stay out of other people's affairs.

I don't appreciate your ruse

Hey! You're not allowed to [THING] here anymore!

My love for you is like a truck, BERZERKER! Would you like some making fuck, BERZERKER!

Are there any balls down there?

I'm gonna fuck this bitch, I'll fuck this bitch, I'll fuck ANYTHING THAT MOVES!

Yo, what the fuck you lookin' at? I'll kick your fuckin' ass! Shit yeah.

Doesn't that mother fucker owe me 10 bucks?

You know, fuckin' tonight, we're gonna rip off this fucker's head, and tear out his fuckin' soul.

I'm gonna shit in the motherfucker's bag

What's up sluts?

Noinch, Noinch, Noinch, Schmokin Weed, Schmokin' Weed, Doin' Coke, Drinkin' Beers...

I had some girlfriends too, but all they wanted from me is weed and shit.

What's a good plate with nothing on it?

I don't care if she's my cousin or not, I'm gonna knock those boots again tonight.

Hey what you want, Grizzly Adams?

Someone jammed gum in the locks.

A woman makes a guy cum, it's standard. A guy makes a woman cum, it's talent.

You'll sleep with anything that says 'yes.'

My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!

Shocking abuse of authority.

I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule.

People say crazy shit during sex. One time I called this girl "mom."

She broke your heart and inadvertently drove men to deviant lifestyles.

That's what high school was about. Algebra, bad lunch, and infidelity.

He said he has to find the perfect dozen.

Why doesn't he mix and match?

He said it was important to have standards, and he says nobody has any pride anymore.

It's not like you laid the eggs yourself.

That seems to be the late motif in your life, ever backing down.

You always back down. You assume blame that's not yours. You come in on your day off. You buckle like a belt.

Insubordination rules.

How did you get here so fast?

Do you always talk this weird after you violate a woman?

He just sat there and let me do all the work.

We didn't just have sex in the bathroom?

Well I didn't just fuck myself!

Who the fuck's in our bathroom?

You sucked that guy's dick?

How many?! How many dicks have you sucked?!

Why couldn't you sleep with them like any other decent person?

Don't look at me like I'm the town whore, because you were plenty busy yourself before you met me!

I only had sex with the guys I loved

Try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!

That article's accurate

Something just never sat right with me the second time around.

I'll bet they brought independent contractors in on that thing

They'd hire anybody who could do the job

Casualties of a war they had nothing to do with

Along come these left-wing militants that blast everything with their lasers

I'm a contractor myself

A [PROFESSION]'s personal politics come into play heavily when choosing jobs

I'm alive because I knew the risks involved in that particular client

Could never put my finger on it but something just wasn't right.

You knocked the casket over!

Her fucking body fell out!

He broke his neck trying to suck his own dick

Come on, haven't you ever tried to suck your own dick?

You're as curious as the rest of us

I guess everyone gets curious and tries it sometime

You haven't said anything for like twenty minutes.

My life is in the shitter right about now, so if you don't mind, I'd like to stew a bit.

You should shit or get off the pot.

You'll sit there and blame life for dealing a cruddy

hand, never once accepting the responsibility for the way your situation is.

If you hate this job and the people, and the fact that you

have to come in on your day off, then quit.

There are other jobs, and they pay better money. You're bound to be qualified for at least one of them.

This is a life of convenience for you, and any attempt to change it would shatter the pathetic microcosm you've fashioned for yourself.

I'm satisfied with my situation for now.

Melodrama coming from you seems about as natural as an oral bowel movement.

I can't make changes like that in my life.

I'm not the kind of person that disrupts things in order to

shit comfortably.

Women as lovers are basically the same, they just have to be there

Making a male climax isn't at all challenging. Insert somewhere close, preferably moist. Thrust. Repeat.

What an embarrassing way to die.

Title does not dictate behavior

I think the idea or the conception of us dating is a lot more idyllic then what actually happens when we date.

You want to blame somebody? Blame yourself.

I'm stuck in this pit, working for less than slave wages. Working on my day off, the goddamn steel shutters are closed, I deal with every backward ass fuck on the planet. I smell like shoe polish. My ex-girlfriend is catatonic after fucking a dead guy. And my present girlfriend has sucked 36 dicks.

Oh, hey [NAME], break his heart again this time, and I'll kill ya

Such a sordid state of affairs.

I'm not even supposed to be here today!