#is this the first time I've actually done a series that looks cohesive?

[melancholy-of-nadia]

infatuation (m) | myg

title: infatuation pairing: yoongi x f. reader rating/genre: m ; smut ; agust d universe (AgustDverse based in Haegeum) ; gang leader / mafia AU summary:  Living with fragmented and blurry memories has lead you to live under the roof of Bangkok's biggest secret crime boss, Agust D, as his bodyguard. Though, being confined to the mansion most of the time has made you feel isolated, craving freedom and answers. When he decides to take you out to dinner for the first time, the atmosphere is charged with tension and suspicion. You're not the only one who's patience is wearing thin, however, instead, it's discovering this man's infatuation with you that will lead you to change your mind. warnings:  weapon mention (katana), reader has minor amnesia, back and forth arguing, murder mention, deep fish imagery/analogy, haegeum!suga mention, dominant haegeum! agust d, making out, penthouse s*x, f*ngering, cl*t stimulation, orgasm denial, choking, power imbalance, bl*w job, bre*st play, spiting, deep throating, pet names, agust d praises you by calling you "good girl", unprotected s*x, lowkey breeding k*nk, choking, possessiveness, multiple orgasms, uh i think that's it!... yandere? haegeum!agust d maybe note: it's been a year since i uploaded my first fic in this universe i call the AgustDverse. Also the first fic that got me into writing bts fics! I've been requested to continue this universe by my dear friend @daegudrama. I don't know if it'll ever become an actual cohesive series, but if you guys like it, let me know! also this is veerrrryyyyy much unedited im sorry i will edit later word count: 6.0k drop date: August 6th, 2024 7:30pm PST mood playlist | ao3 link – –

You never thought you'd find yourself in this situation—nestled within the mansion walls of a mafia boss masquerading as a police detective. 

Known as Agust D. 

How did you get here? It's a question that continuously echoes through your mind like a constant drumbeat. 

It’s not an easy question to answer. It’s actually pretty complicated. Time travel? A quantum jump? You don’t know whatever scientific phenomenon this is. 

But for your own sanity, you decided not to dwell too much on it, especially when the present demands your full attention.

Agust has let you live here under the guise of acting as his bodyguard, which is perhaps the strangest thing you've ever done. You had no prior guarding experience, but the katana sword that hangs by your side now tells otherwise. This item is a constant reminder of your supposed purpose here: to protect the mansion, to protect Agust D. But deep down, you know there's more to this arrangement than meets the eye.

Tonight, however, is different. Agust D, the enigmatic master of this mansion, has extended an invitation—an invitation to dine at an upscale Chinese restaurant. It's a rare opportunity to step beyond the confines of these walls, to breathe in the outside world, if only for a fleeting moment.

As you stand before the full-length mirror in your room, you can't help but feel a surge of apprehension. The maids have stated that Agust D insisted you wear a black satin dress he selected for the occasion—a garment that feels foreign against your skin, yet somehow fitting for the night. You’re too used to wearing a collared white button-up and a plaid skirt for most of the time while you’re at the mansion. You don’t know how long you’d been wearing that, but definitely longer than a young girl who’s in prep school.

Adjusting the delicate fabric, you take in your reflection, the unfamiliarity of the attire almost unnerving. 

A knock at the door interrupts your contemplation, and without waiting for a response, Agust D enters, his presence commanding the room. Dressed in a tailored black suit that exudes power and authority, he regards you with a scrutinizing gaze.

"You look stunning," he remarks, a hint of satisfaction tugging at the corners of his lips. "Are you ready to go?"

With a half nod, you follow him down the stairs and out of the mansion, the cool night air wrapping around you like a shroud of secrecy. Then you hop into the black sports car, which Yoongi decides to drive this time instead of his chauffeur.

The journey to the restaurant is silent, punctuated only by the quiet sounds of the piano music playing, which came from connecting Agust D’s phone to the car’s aux.

He really does love Ryuichi Sakamoto’s music, you comment internally to yourself.

When you arrive at the restaurant, you're met with the grandeur of an upscale Chinese eatery perched on the top floor of a hotel building. The space is a harmonious blend of modern elegance and traditional opulence. As you step inside, the ambient chatter of elite people and the soft clinking of cutlery fill the air, creating a lively yet refined atmosphere that contrasts sharply with the muted silence of the mansion.

The restaurant’s interior is a feast for the senses. Rich, dark wood paneling lines the walls, accented by gold and red details that evoke a sense of luxury. Elegant lanterns hang from the ceiling, their warm, golden light casting a gentle glow across the room. The tables are adorned with crisp white linens, polished silverware, and delicate porcelain dishes, each piece carefully chosen to complement the sophisticated ambiance.

The scent of Chinese cuisine mingles with the faint aroma of incense, creating an inviting and tantalizing atmosphere. The restaurant's design features intricate latticework and traditional Chinese artwork, adding a touch of cultural authenticity to the modern setting. Plush, comfortable chairs surround each table, offering a sense of intimacy and relaxation.

As the restaurant host takes note of Agust D standing beside you, there’s a brief moment of panic in his eyes. He quickly ushers you both to a secluded corner of the establishment, a private nook separated from the rest of the dining area by elegant silk drapes. This area, though separated, still enjoys a view of the city skyline through large, floor-to-ceiling windows, offering a breathtaking panorama of the illuminated city below. 

You are seated across from Agust, but there’s still a subtle awkward atmosphere surrounding the both of you when he orders and after the food arrives. 

For a moment, the clinking of silverware against porcelain fills the silence before Agust D finally speaks.

"Do you still not remember anything?" 

You hesitate, uncertainty flickering in the depths of your eyes about how to respond to him. "Bits and pieces," you admit, your gaze lingering on the dimly lit surroundings. "But nothing concrete. It's like trying to grasp at shadows."

His expression remains impassive, but you catch a fleeting glimpse of something else—something akin to regret, perhaps, or even longing. "It will come back to you," he says, his tone softer than before. "With time."

You only nod, going back to eating one of the xiaolongbao at the center of the table.

The air between you and Agust D grows heavier once again with unspoken words. You don’t like the silence. As someone who is very self-aware of their self, you feel compelled to break the silence to not be stuck in your head. 

"Agust D," you begin tentatively, the name feeling foreign on your tongue yet strangely familiar. You don’t refer to him by name often, as you opt for ‘sir’ or the occasional ‘Hyungnim’. "Why did you bring me here tonight? You never do this sort of thing…"

He regards you with an intensity that sends a shiver down your spine. "Well, you've been cooped up in that mansion for so long," he replies cryptically, his gaze piercing through the facade you've carefully constructed. “Thought it would be good to treat you for your work.”

"But why now?" you press, unable to suppress the curiosity gnawing at your insides. "And wearing this?" You refer to the short piece of black fabric covering you.

Agust D's lips quirk up in a wry smile, though there's no warmth in it. "Maybe I wanted to see how you'd be like out… not on duty," he muses, his eyes never leaving yours. "Or perhaps I simply wanted company for the evening."

Company, huh? From the outside, it looks like you’re on a date. You wouldn’t doubt the restaurant staff is already gossiping from behind the curtains partitioning you from the rest of the world.

You can't help but feel a sense of unease at his words, a nagging suspicion that there's more to his motives than meets the eye. "Is that really all?" you press, your voice tinged with uncertainty. "Or is there something else you're not telling me?"

For a moment, Agust D's mask slips, revealing a flicker of vulnerability beneath the facade of indifference. "There's always more to say," he murmurs, his gaze turning distant as if lost in memories you can't access. "But some things are better left unsaid."

What does he even mean by that? You feel like every time you speak even a bit casually to this man, you only end up more confused and maybe even a bit more scared.

"Agust D," you venture cautiously, "...are you still looking for Suga?"

At the mention of the name, a shadow passes over Agust D's features, his expression hardening into a mask of resolve. "Suga," he repeats, the name dripping with bitterness and contempt. "Of course I’m looking for him. That man is nothing but trouble. I need to get rid of him."

You can't help but feel a pang of sympathy for the man whose name hangs between you like a specter, a reminder of the past you can't quite grasp. "But why? Why do you hate him so much?" you ask softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

Agust D's eyes darken with a mix of anger and regret, a storm raging beneath the surface. "He’s got my face and that in itself is a danger to all of us," he admits, his voice raw with emotion. "He could also be the answer to everything I've lost, but it’s better if that answer is never revealed."

The words hang heavy in the air from a confession laden with pain. And as you gaze into the depths of Agust D's eyes, you realize that beneath the cold exterior lies a man haunted by his past—a man who, like you, is searching for answers, but afraid to confront them. You want to pry into what he means, but you’re scared that he may act aggressively. So instead you change the topic.

"Don’t you know his whereabouts though?" you inquire softly, your voice laced with concern.

Agust D's gaze meets yours. "I do," he confirms, his voice low and measured. "He’s in Chinatown. Living in an apartment at the end of Weng Nakorn Kasem. But I can’t act on impulse. I’m too heavily involved in the Asia Pacific Police Union, and that already involves too many variables, too many unknowns."

A sense of foreboding settles over you as you listen to his words, the weight of his burdens pressing down on you like a suffocating blanket. "What do you mean?" you press, your voice barely a whisper.

Agust D sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I can't move against him yet," he admits, his tone laced with resignation. "Not until I know how many people are on my side. There are spies within the organization. If I act too quickly, I could end up getting myself killed…"

The gravity of his words hangs heavy in the air, casting a shadow over the fragile truce that exists between you. And yet, despite the dangers that lurk in the darkness, you can't help but feel a flicker of hope. If you help him in capturing Suga, then maybe you’ll be able to piece your own puzzle together.

But would that even be a good idea?

"Agust D," you say softly, smiling gently at him, "you know you don't have to face this alone. Whatever happens, I'll stand by your side. Not like I have much of a choice anyway." Your words trail off at the end. He doesn’t comment on it though.

For a moment, there's a vulnerability in Agust D's gaze, a fleeting glimpse of the man beneath the mask. He reaches out to take your hand, his expression softening ever so slightly at your words. "Thanks," he murmurs, his voice a whisper in the dimly lit restaurant.

“It’s my job after all.”

––––––

After finishing dinner, the two of you begin to walk out of the restaurant, entering a long hallway that leads to large red sliding doors that exit.  Your eyes drift toward the grand wall aquarium positioned near the exit, its towering glass panels reflecting the soft glow of the overhead lights.

The aquarium is a masterpiece of design, housing a diverse array of aquatic life within its transparent confines. Colorful coral reefs sway gently in the water, their vibrant hues casting mesmerizing patterns of light and shadow across the sandy substrate below.

But amidst the bustling underwater ecosystem, your gaze fixates on a lone goldfish, its sleek form gliding gracefully through the water. Its vibrant orange scales shimmer in the ambient light, a stark contrast to the subdued colors of its surroundings.

A pang of concern tugs at your heart as you watch the solitary fish navigate its artificial habitat. Don't goldfish typically reside in tranquil ponds, surrounded by the soothing sounds of nature? Is it even safe for them to be confined within the confines of this glass enclosure?

Lost in thought, you fail to notice Agust D's departure until you feel a gentle tug on your arm. Startled, you turn to find him regarding you with a curious expression, his gaze flickering between you and the aquarium.

"What's on your mind?" he asks softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

You tear your gaze away from the mesmerizing display before you, your thoughts still lingering on the lone koi fish. "I was just...thinking about that fish," you admit, gesturing toward the aquarium.

“The goldfish?”

“Mhm,” As you stand there, watching the solitary koi fish swim about, a wistful sigh escapes your lips. "I wish I were a fish sometimes," you murmur.

As funny as your sentence sounds, you thought the older man would laugh at you for making a comment like that. However, Agust D's gaze flickers at you, curiosity gleaming in his eyes. 

"Why's that?" he asks, his voice soft with intrigue.

You pause, contemplating your answer as you watch the graceful movements of the fish. "Uh, well they seem so free," you explain, your voice tinged with longing. “They get to go wherever they want. move through life with such ease in the water, not burdened by the weight of the world.”

As you continue to watch the fish, a sense of yearning wells up within you—a desire to shed the constraints of your human existence. "Sometimes," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper, "I wish I could trade places with that fish just so I could be able to live freely, to live without my own burdens."

Agust D nods in understanding, a silent reassurance amid your musings. "But you know, even fish have their own struggles. I mean, look at it, it’s trapped in this Chinese restaurant’s aquarium as entertainment for guests, fighting to survive in a place it doesn’t belong,”

Sigh.

He’s right. But you hate the fact that he’s right.

“That still doesn’t change what I said. Plus, I don't want to be that fish.” you interject, your voice laced with a hint of sadness. "Slowly destroyed by its surroundings… not belonging there."

Agust D's brow furrows in contemplation, his gaze returning to the small goldfish. "So what are you trying to say?" 

"I don't want to feel like that," you admit. "Trapped in a world that doesn't feel like home, constantly struggling to find where I belong!"

And you hate it because that is exactly how you’ve been feeling right now. You’re living with a man several years older than you, who is probably the most dangerous man in Thailand, maybe even all of Asia. And you have no idea why you stuck here with him, but where could you really go? Where are you actually from? Where is home?

Agust D's expression hardens slightly, a hint of frustration creeping into his voice. "Life isn't always about feeling at home," he counters. "Sometimes it's about surviving where you are and making the best of it."

No! He doesn’t get it.

You feel a flicker of irritation at his words, your emotions bubbling just beneath the surface. "That's easy for you to say," you retort, tone sharp. "You're not the one who's been confined to that mansion, to these guarding duties, waiting for memories to come back."

His eyes narrow slightly, a spark of challenge igniting in them. "You think I don't have my own battles?" he snaps back. "I'm out there every day, dealing with threats you can't even imagine."

"At least you have control over these things. You have the entirety of this city wrapped around your finger," you snap, the words spilling out before you can stop them. "At least you know who you are and what you're fighting for!”

The tension between you two shifts. Agust D steps closer, his presence looming, but you refuse to back down, meeting his gaze with unwavering resolve.

Inside, you're a storm of emotions—anger, confusion, and a touch of desperation. How can he be so dense and unreadable, yet so annoyingly calm? It's like talking to a brick wall sometimes. Every word you say seems to bounce off him while his expression remaining infuriatingly stoic. You want to scream, to make him understand just how much this is tearing you apart, but he stands there, unmoved, as if your turmoil is nothing more than a slight breeze in his world.

“Agust, you–”

"Fuck…you're so hot when you're upset, doll," he murmurs, interrupting you with a low growl that sends a shiver down your spine. Before you can react, he grabs your arm, pulling you toward the exit.

Huh?

"Hey!" you protest, your frustration mingling with a surge of adrenaline. But Agust D doesn't relent, his grip firm as he guides you out of the restaurant and into the elevator.

As the elevator doors slide shut, sealing you both inside the confined space, the tension between you reaches a boiling point. "What are you doing?" you demand, your voice a mix of anger and confusion.

Instead of answering, Agust D pushes you against the wall, his lips crashing down on yours with a fierce intensity. Your initial resistance melts away as the kiss deepens, the heat between you igniting into a blazing inferno powered by unknown frustrations beneath the surface.

You pull back just enough to catch your breath, your chest heaving as you glare at him. "You can't just—" you start, but he silences you with another kiss, his hands roaming possessively over your body.

"I can and I will," he murmurs against your lips, his voice a husky whisper. "Because right now, all I can think about is you."

Your frustration mingles with a heady mix of desire, the lines between anger and passion blurring as you give in to the moment. As the elevator ascends, the world outside fades away, leaving only the two of you.

When the elevator dings softly, signaling its arrival on your floor, you find yourselves in a private hallway in the hotel building, the opulent surroundings a stark contrast to the intensity of your kiss. Agust D pulls back, his eyes dark with desire and determination.

"We're not done talking," he says, his voice a low rumble that sends a thrill through you. "But right now, I need you."

Your eyes are left wide open, feeling hormones coursing through you.

This can’t be happening. Is this all a dream? Yes, this has to be. And what’s with the scenario? Are you that sexually frustrated? You admit you’ve never done this sort of thing and have only spent your free time reading erotica for entertainment. 

But to dream about fucking the very man keeping you captive within his mansion and living as a bodyguard. There has got to be something wrong with you. Maybe you’re experiencing Stockholm syndrome? But you’ve not once felt emotionally attached to this man.

Though there have been times you’ve looked at him and thought about how beautiful he looked.

Shit.

Maybe you’ll go along with this. Everything else be damned, for now.

“Show me then,” You word out, which only fires him up more.

Agust D’s grip on your arm is firm but not painful as he leads you down the luxurious hallway to a penthouse suite, the plush carpet muffling your footsteps. Your thoughts are a chaotic jumble, torn between the logical part of your brain screaming at you to stop and the primal part urging you to give in.

As soon as the door to a suite clicks shut behind you, he’s on you again, pushed against a wall, his lips claiming yours with a hunger that leaves you breathless. You respond in kind, your hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. Every touch, every kiss feels electric, igniting a fire within you that you didn’t know existed.

In the back of your mind, you know this is wrong. You know you should be resisting, should be fighting against the pull he has on you. But right now, in this moment, all you can think about is the way his hands feel on your skin, the way his lips move against yours, the way his presence consumes you.

He pulls back just enough to look into your eyes, his breath hot against your lips. “You’re mine,” he murmurs, showcasing his possessive nature. “I refuse to let you go.”

His hands start to inch up under your dress until he reaches your core and starts flicking at your clit. You gasp, the sensation sending shockwaves through your body. He watches your reaction with a smirk, clearly enjoying the effect he has on you.

“Is this what you wanted?” he whispers, his voice low and teasing. “To feel me, to know that you’re mine?”

You can barely form a coherent thought, let alone a response. All you can do is nod, your body arching toward his touch, craving more.

“Good,” he says, his fingers moving with a deft precision that has you teetering on the edge. “Because I’m not stopping until you know that you belong to me.”

He continues his ministrations, his touch driving you wild with need. The logical part of your brain has long since surrendered, leaving only the raw, primal desire that burns within you.

His fingers slide below your black lace underwear until he inserts them inside you with a sly grin. You can't help but moan at the invasion, your body trembling with anticipation. He moves them in and out, hitting just the right spot, causing you to writhe beneath him.

"This is what you get," he growls, his voice low and commanding. "For. every. time. you. talked. back. to. me. today." He growls, punctuating every word with a thrust inside your pussy.

“F-Fuck A-Agust!” And holy shit does it feel so good.

As lust starts to fog your mind and the air fills with moans, you don't know what's happening to you. But you don't care. The fire inside you is burning brighter by the second, and you can't get enough of the man who's taken control of your body and mind at this moment

Yoongi places his thumb on your nub and plays with it, squishing it in circular motions, then using his finger to rub it a little faster then slowing down only to fasten the pace again. You felt a very familiar feeling boiling up in your lower belly threatening to unleash itself.

“I’m not gonna let you reach your high yet.” 

Suddenly, he removes all his fingers from you and you whimper immediately, the absence of his touch leaving you desperate for more.

Yoongi bites down against his lips, eyes quickly traveling from your face and down your body, “Huh…W-Wait..P-Please…” You pant heavily, trying to rub your thighs together to pick back up the pace that was headed toward your release

“I thought you wanted to leave me, doll?” He leans in closer, chuckling in your face, and you shake your head. At this moment, you realize that he’s hard under his dress pants. “Are you sure? I don’t give orgasms to people that won’t obey me.”

“I-I’ll prove it to you!” You drop to your knees quickly, placing your hands on both of his sides. “Oh? And how will you do that?” He gives you a curious look, already knowing what to expect from your sudden submissive behavior. While he spoke, you unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, pulling it down along with his boxers to reveal his cock.

“Oh fuck…” You let out in the smallest whisper. He wasn’t long per se, but more than average. But the girth… holy shit. Will it even fit in any of your holes? And the way his precum is already pearling on his tip just from what you two did earlier? You swallow nervously, but you’re not one to back away from a challenge. “Like this.” 

You hold his cock gently from the base, proceeding to gather spit from your mouth and letting it drop on it. You proceed to move your hand, spreading his precum and your saliva on his dick, managing to get a good slide and starting to move your hand quicker. You looked up innocently, already noticing a flicker of Agust’s facade fade as he felt himself slipping away in pleasure. In his mind, he was tempted to say fuck it all and let himself fuck against your hand, but he knew better than just to let himself become an animal. After the prep, you part your mouth and slowly take him in, the stretch already starting to hurt your jaw from his wide size. In the meantime, you just suck around his head and use your hand to deliver pleasure to the rest of his shaft, earning deep-sounding curses and moans while your tongue swirled around him. 

His eyes are glued to you, watching you work his cock with your kitten-like licks. Though, this isn’t enough for him. He wants to thrust up down your throat so bad and fuck you until your voice was sore. He wants to see how much you’re willing to take in that small mouth of yours.

And that’s exactly what he does. He places his hand on your head, giving you small pats and rubs disguised as encouragement for your efforts. Then his hand starts inching towards the back of your head until he suddenly grabs a handful of your hair and forcibly pushes his dick further until your smacked against his pelvis.

“Seems like you still need practice. Don’t worry, I’ll train you,” he murmurs, his grip tightening on your hair as he begins to thrust into your mouth. The tip hits the back of your throat and you gag reflexively, but he doesn't let up, pushing deeper with each thrust. Your eyes start to water, now holding onto his sides for dear life, but you force yourself to take it, willing your throat to open up and accommodate his girth. His palm comes up to your cheek to rub your cheek, feeling himself on the other side enter in and out of you.

He grunts with each deep thrust, his hips pistoning in and out of your mouth as you struggle to keep up with his rhythm. You feel like you're choking, but you don't want to disappoint him and prevent you from reaching your orgasm after. However, it doesn’t take long for him to come undone, swallowing saliva and cum down your throat. He removes himself and you begin to cough erratically. You have never deep-throated before, so it’s a miracle you didn’t throw up or die from this. It’s definitely not as easy as porn makes it seem. You’ve been lied to by the media! “Haah… Holy shit…” You groan, trying to catch your breath and stabilize your heart rate.

“You alright?” He questions, voice tinged with slight worry as he fixes his pants and underwear back up and leans down towards your face. “I lost myself for a bit…”

“It’s okay–” You pause, shocked for a moment to hear your voice sound hoarse. Despite that, Agust chuckles, using his palm once again to rub against your cheek to comfort you, smiling softly. “Good girl. Now you’ll get your reward.” With this, he guides you to the master bedroom, his grip on your arms firm yet careful, leading you through the opulent suite. The room is a testament to luxury, with rich, dark wood furniture that you knew Agust requested in the hotels he invests in and soft, ambient lighting that casts a warm glow over everything. The large windows offer a stunning view of the Bangkok city skyline, but your focus is solely on him.

He pushes you gently onto the king-sized bed, the plush mattress sinking beneath your weight. The silk sheets feel cool against your skin, starkly contrasting the heat building between you. Agust D stands over you, his eyes dark with desire, a predator savoring his prey.

He slowly removes his jacket, his movements deliberate, his eyes never leaving yours. You watch, your breath hitching as he unbuttons his suit vest, followed by his shirt, revealing his semi-muscular and beefy figure beneath. You’ve never seen him like this before, as he’s a very reserved man when it comes to his body. But each inch of exposed skin sends a fresh wave of anticipation through you.

“You’ve been so good,” he murmurs, his voice low and husky. “Now, let me take care of you.”

He climbs onto the bed, sitting between your legs where his hands start trailing up your thighs, pushing the hem of your dress higher. His touch is electrifying, each caress igniting a fire in your core. He leans down, his lips ghosting over your skin, leaving a trail of burning kisses from your collarbone to your ear.

His breath is hot against your ear as he whispers, “Tell me you want this.”

“I want this,” you breathe, your voice trembling with need.

“Good,” he says, his lips curling into a satisfied smile. “Because once I start, I won’t be able to get enough of you.”

His hands are everywhere, exploring, teasing, and driving you to the brink of madness. He slips the dress off your shoulders, letting it fall away completely, leaving your body exposed and vulnerable beneath him. His eyes rake over your body, a dark hunger in his gaze.

“So fucking beautiful,” he murmurs, his voice thick with desire. “My doll.”

He lowers himself, his mouth finding your breast, sucking and nibbling until you’re arching into him, your fingers tangled in his slick black hair. He trails kisses down your stomach, his hands gripping your hips as he positions himself between your legs.

You gasp as he presses a kiss to your inner thigh, his breath hot against your skin. “Ready for your reward?” he asks, his voice a seductive whisper.

“Mm..” You only make a sound and nod due to the lust clouding your mind. How do you say words? Do words matter?

He pinches your clit slightly which makes you jump and arc your body a little.

“Words, doll.”

“Y-Yes!” you manage to finally speak out, your body wiggling around close to his face eager for him to move. 

He doesn’t hesitate after your verbal consent, his tongue flicking out to taste you from your clit down to your entrance, drawing a cry of pleasure from your lips. He works you expertly, starting with his tongue sucking against your clit, then eating you out in your entrance. 

And holy fuck does he have you wrapped around his finger with these ministrations. You had heard rumors of him being good at oral sex from the women at the events you would accompany him to, but fuck, the actual thing doesn’t compare to their mere descriptions.

His tongue soon returns to nibble and suck at your aching bud, with his fingers replacing his place inside you. And before you know it, you’re lost in the sensation again, body jerking as every nerve ending is set aflame as he brings you closer and closer to the edge.

And Agust D knows it, smirking against your pussy as he feels you tighten against his fingers. “Come for me,” he growls against your skin, his voice a command that you can’t resist.

With a final, shuddering gasp, you fall apart, the pleasure crashing over you in waves. He holds you through it, his hands and mouth coaxing every last bit of ecstasy from your body until you’re left trembling and spent beneath him.

He pulls back, his eyes dark with satisfaction as he watches you recover. “Such a fucking good girl,” he murmurs, his voice filled with pride. “But we’re not done.” 

He stands up and swiftly pulls down his pants and boxers, revealing his cock, red and eager. Your breath catches in your throat at the sight, your mind racing.

Oh? Is he going to put it in?!

“Huh? W-Wait you–”

Before you can finish speaking, he puts your legs on his shoulder and aligns himself to your entrance, his eyes locking with yours. The heat and intensity of his gaze make your heart race.

“You’re on birth control, correct?”

“Yes…”

You’d be surprised that he knows this fact, but he does look over your medical records after all. You’d also question the ethics of this, but not now.

“Then we can go all out,” he whispers, his voice rough with desire. “And I’ll show you that you’re truly mine.”

He pushes into you, his cock stretching and filling you completely.

“F-Fuck!” You gasp, the sensation is overwhelming, fueled with pleasure and pain that leaves you breathless. He pauses movements for a moment, allowing you to adjust, his hands gripping your hips tightly.

Your eyes close as you try to focus on relaxing your body.

“Look at me,” he commands suddenly, his voice low and firm as he holds your chin. “I want to see your face when I take you.”

“Y-Yes, sir!” You meet his gaze, your eyes wide with a mix of fear and excitement. There’s a primal hunger in his eyes that sends a shiver down your spine.

He begins to move, his thrusts slow and deliberate at first, each one sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body. You cling to him, your nails digging into his shoulders as you try to keep up with the intensity of his pace. The feeling of him inside you is overwhelming and does not compare to his or your own fingers pleasuring you.

“Do you feel that?” he asks, his voice a rough whisper. “Do you feel how your pussy is being molded by my cock?”

“Y-Yes!” you manage to gasp, your voice trembling. “I feel it!”

“Good,” he says, his thrusts becoming faster, more intense. “Because you won’t ever be able to be pleased by another cock as long as I live,”

His movements are relentless, each thrust driving you closer to the edge. The room is filled with the sounds of your shared pleasure, the slap of skin against skin, and the ragged gasps and moans that escape your lips. 

As your eyes meet his, he suddenly wraps his hand around your neck, applying just enough pressure to make you gasp. His grip is firm but not painful, sending a rush of adrenaline and arousal coursing through your veins.

“Doll, you like being choked while I fuck you? Having you wrapped around my fingers now.”

“F-Feels so mmh good!” You mumble, your breath hitching as his grip tightens slightly, the sensation heightening the pleasure coursing through your body.

You never thought you’d be so turned on by choking. You don’t know if it’s you getting high off the lack of oxygen and feeling pleasure, or giving up your life’s control to this man before you that has your toes curling.

The pleasure builds up to an unbearable peak once more, but this time, you know that he is feeling the same thing too. His thrusts become harder, more forceful, each one sending shockwaves through your body. His hand on your neck adds an edge to the sensation od dominance and possessiveness that leaves you breathless.

“Come for me, doll,” he growls, his voice a command that you can’t ignore. “I want to feel you come around me as I do at the same time.”

With a final, shuddering cry, your orgasm crashes down, your body convulsing in pleasure. He follows you soon after, his grip on your hips tightening as he spills into you, his own release mingling with yours. The intensity of the moment leaves you both breathless, clinging to each other as the aftershocks of pleasure ripple through your bodies.

He pulls back slightly, his eyes dark and satisfied as he looks down at you with a smile that exposes his gums. He lays down next to you and pulls you into his arms, his lips finding yours in a tender, possessive kiss. 

“You’re mine,” he whispers against your lips, the words a promise and a declaration.

“You’re mine,” he repeats. “I’ll never let you leave.”

At that moment, as you lie there in his arms, you realize that maybe, just maybe, you don’t want him to. The world outside may be complicated and uncertain, but here, with him, everything feels right.

This is your home.

All you want is for this man to be infatuated with you for the rest of your life.

This is how things should be. Right?

–

– tbc?

✨ let me know ur thoughts! how are you feeling?! ✉️

[asterekmess]

A Bit of a Conundrum

I've been waffling about this for a long time, and as I've already vented about it to my discord, I wanted to open it up to a possibly larger audience of my readers. And also complain about it more. XD I write. A lot. I have. A LOT of writing. We're talking like more than 2 dozen wips sitting in my google docs, some with 14k, some with 114k words in them. Some with a specific ending in mind, some with no plot beyond what's already written. Fuck dude, some aren't even Sterek/TW! I was fortunate enough to have someone go on my ko-fi and do a monthly donation to me for a few months. They stopped, which I'll never be mad at, but having them there at all, having someone say "I'd like to support your writing just for the sake of supporting it" meant a huge amount to me, and it made me think about all of my wips.

I don't post often, or regularly, or..well at all, for months and months at a time. This is because I almost only ever post fics when they're done. it's a personal rule of mine, and not one I used to follow when i first started writing fic. It's one I came up with shortly after finishing "Wanted" bc I felt terrible and pressured when I had to take breaks during that fic and when I couldn't keep up with a regular schedule for people. And for a long time it was a good rule for me. It helped me not to feel pressured or overwhelmed by the worry of abandoning a project on ao3 and getting bombarded with comments asking where the next chapter is. But as I've continued writing over the years, my wips have gotten more numerous, while my posted work continues to trickle in. I'm a chronic long-fic writer (though my currently posted fics don't reflect that), which means it takes way more time for me to finish a fic than it does for me to get distracted coming up with a NEW idea for a fic. It's hard to finish work. But that doesn't mean I don't love my wips. They're incredible. Some of them contain some of the best stuff I feel I've ever written. Poignant words and phrases and meaningful moments. And looking around at them, I realized that anyone who goes to support me on my ko-fi, or considers following me on Ao3, or even just subscribes to a series, isn't really getting to see what I"m actually doing. They see a fic posted every 9 months, or every year. There's no real indication that anything they do is helping me regularly, that they're even supporting a Current Active writer. In light of that, I've been considering starting to post wips of mine. The problems with that are numerous and a bit overwhelming, hence wanting to hear others' opinions and vent about it ad nauseum. I've got lots of wips, and if I were to start posting them, I wouldn't want to toss the whole wip out at once. But posting a chapter at a time every few days or even once a week, while it would mean a lot of content coming out, it would be a lot of content that I haven't finished. Cliffhanger chapters, and unfinished stories that I can't promise would ever be finished. And I know I don't owe my readers anything, but it's still unsatisfying to post something without an ending. Then there's the absolute overload of possibly too Much content for people. Getting an e-mail every other day about a new chapter for a fic you've no interest in reading isn't fun. And on top of all that, is the editing. Often when I'm struggling with a fic, I find that i need to go back and change the beginning. In honesty, part of why I wait to post until I'm finished with fics is bc semi-regularly I'll get to the end of a fic, go back to the beginning and edit it all over again to make it more cohesive. To me there is no such thing as a 'finished' chapter. only a finished fic. If I posted as I wrote, then I'd either not be able to go back and edit chapters, or if I DID go back and edit my chapters, they would then need updated, and people who'd read the first 4 chapters of something would end up needing to reread the fic to get the full sense of what I'm doing. But at the same time, posting my wips would mean finally getting to share some stuff that's been gathering dust for years in some cases, finally getting to see people's reactions to them. Finally getting to know that even if I don't end up finishing it, at least people can enjoy what's already been written. And of course, finally getting to show people that when they support me through donations or comments or what-have-you, they're supporting an Active writer, supporting work being made every day, even if it's not FINISHED every day. All of these things are stuff I'm trying to take into consideration, and it's been a hell of a struggle. Plus, as I'm unfortunately trying to manage doing a part-time job rn, just getting up the energy for this stuff is a big BIG task.

If you've got any thoughts or strategic ideas, I'd love to hear them. If not, s'all good, I mostly just wanted to vent. XD

[booasaur]

Did you finish Night Country? If so what did you think of it? I loved Navarro—Kali Reis absolutely sells that stately sense capability and strength and hotness lol—and think Jodie/Kali really sold their relationship being the core of the show I also mostly loved how things played out (didn’t see the ending coming at all) but I wish the show had been given more episodes to flesh certain plots and characters out because some things felt a little superficial (it’s interesting to me that so many people were lost because I thought the show made a lot really obvious and could’ve actually used some more mystique) and enhancing them would’ve made things that much better and cohesive. But trying to find balanced criticism or commentary about this show is hard because everyone defaults to racist, misogynistic, no nuance takes on how it’ll never compare to s1 and just refuses to even see a little bit of the good. Idk I feel like you can dislike it and want better and still recognize the good aspects of this season and the value of telling indigenous stories. At this point I almost wish the showrunner had been able to make a new series like she wanted to, instead of having to be tied to the true detective name because maybe people would approach this with more honestly and openness

Hey, sorry for the late reply. Well, I know I've replied a LOT later before and mostly decided to stop saying sorry because I'd have to say every time, but at the moment, I'm having more difficulty than I used to in remembering how I felt when I finished the ep, so I wish I'd just responded at the time.

Let me see... First, I did laugh like an idiot when they took turns falling down the ice caves like idiots, especially Danvers.

Other than that, I liked the ending but it felt a bit too neat... I think if they'd changed around some stuff, it might have offered a bit more tension because, well, at that point, it seemed they'd let more killers go than caught them. Honestly that and all the quibbles I had, where I wish we'd seen some stuff seeded better and elaborated on more at the end, like you said, that all could have been helped with just giving them the two extra eps they should have gotten. I was thinking that too, at the time, lol, I remember now, when I read your ask, I went on this whole rant (to myself, in my head) about those two eps could have done so much, how the streaming model had killed TV, how these shortened seasons were basically like individual movies with an occasional sequel. I know this is an anthology miniseries and the story finished, but still! Too much is suffering for the same reason. I haven't really been able to get into a single new Trek, it's just a different form of storytelling. What can you do in 10 eps every once in a long while, with a full ensemble cast.

I literally looked up how many eps Discovery ends at and it's 65. Compare that to my home Trek, Voyager, where it flourished with new life when Seven appears. Guess when that happens. Ep 68! I literally had to chart the two shows:

Look at those huuuuge Discovery breaks.. It's not just that shows used to be given so much screentime, we just got so much so quickly. I absolutely forget what's going on in between seasons of most shows now. In terms of actual amount of time, Discovery actually lasts longer! But I barely know the characters or their stories. I can't say much different for Picard or SNW (barring what I brought in from before). There's only so much character growth and relationship evolution. How am I supposed to love them? Know them?

Maybe that's why I'm gravitating so much to soaps lately...

Anyway, it's more capitalism than just streaming, of course, which also speaks to your other point; I didn't know Issa Lopez just wanted to make a new show and they put it under the True Detective name?? But isn't that just so typical of all these issues! Like, the fact that they're making an NCIS spin-off with Tony and Ziva? They're retreating to the safest, most conservative ideas they can think of. It's happening with everything, companies dropping DEI initiatives, politics returning to big money white guys. Sticking this female-led extremely Indigenous-sympathetic premise with this particular franchise with its defensive white dudebro fanbase.

I wonder how much that's related to the obligatory bigoted backlash to any media perceived as "woke" now. It's all feeding each other, right, bad actors in each space taking advantage and fanning the flames, but it's beyond annoying now to have watched a normal show and go online and see this rabid overreaction to stuff that isn't even on the screen.

The worst part is, as you said, there's no room for the middle ground. I myself don't want to go into detail about the issues I had because there's so much unfair criticism. Like, if I thought it was a little unsubtle in its messaging at times, how can I say that when these fiends are tearing it apart for daring to even have the message. I'm just glad that Foster and Reis were so good and the show so well received that the fanboys can keep crying to each other about s1.

I will say, a huge part of that ending landing was Diane E. Benson as the older Indigenous Alaskan lady being cool as hell. She was so nonchalant and mischievous and angry as hell underneath it all! That's why I wished there was just a bit more tension, a bit more to that scene in terms of its place in the ep, rather than just its place in the story where it provided a reveal.

The handling of the killer reveal was what I found a bit pat, just being like, well, that happened, okay, bye, but the reveal itself? Freaking loved it. Those men deserved what they got and more. :<

Some things I'm glad they didn't go into more, the accident in the past, and what exactly happened to Navarro. Let me imagine she and Danvers are off together in some liminal space. :P

Anyway...I guess I did remember a lot, lol. And now we have a season 5 ahead. :)

[shudderue]

amfom: some new thoughts

this is going to get long so is getting put under a read more. no tldr, we die like men

i don't know when this was released, but there's been a new blurb released for spxvi, on the official sp website. no clarify, i had A LOT of issues with the old one, which is as follows:

A bone-shaking new trilogy begins – the latest adventure in the bestselling Skulduggery Pleasant series.

A murder. A mystery. Two murders, actually. Well, three, if you’re counting. Oh, look, here comes a fourth...

So much murder that skeleton detective Skulduggery Pleasant must annoy Valkyrie Cain, the infamous Destroyer of Worlds, with his incredible deduction abilities at every available opportunity. As Valkyrie’s irritation grows, the detectives sink deeper into a hidden world of dark motivations, festering hatred and unimaginable pain.

And a teensy bit more murder.

my issues with this were mainly that it's a horrible clash between the more adult vibes and topic this centres around. it's talking about murder, about "dark motivations, festering hatred and unimaginable pain" - in a teehee, kid friendly way. and it's just so badly done and makes my skin crawl.

the new blurb is as follows:

SIX YEARS AGO, THE UNIVERSE ENDED.

When it restarted, blinking back into existence, it brought with it a darkness that remains hidden from the mortal population.

A week ago – fuelled by unimaginable hatred and unstoppable rage – a masked sorcerer killed one of those mortals. Then he killed another. And another.

With their time running out, Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain must work to solve the puzzles the killer leaves behind before more innocents die, embarking on a journey that will force them to deal with the apocalypse they failed to prevent the first time around.

AND MURDER. LOTS AND LOTS OF MURDER.

ooft. SO much better. punchy starter line, assures us that the stakes are not just being whittled back down and we're not just forgetting everything that happened in until the end. one of my biggest criticisms of the old blurb, inelegant mashing of kids and adult vibes aside, is that it felt as if everything was ramped up to 1000 and then we just... forgot about it and went on a merry detectiving hunt. this is more cohesive, actually gives consequences rather than the world was reset lets start over and ignore everything, and the wording is far more elegant (although i could do without that last sentence. ah well.)

"...force them to deal with the apocalypse they failed to prevent the first time around," is a half-sentence i really love in this; it summarises so many flaws with valkyrie and skulduggery's characters (not a flaw with their writing, to clarify) in that neither of them are particularly good at giving a shit about the consequences of their own actions beyond the direct effects they have on them.

anyways. this is far more cohesive and a much better way of looking at the aftermath of the apocalypse, rather than what was implied with the first blurb, which was that it was just going to be ignored. and and and, makes me actually want to read it. who'd have thought?

anyways. the actual detective focus on it is something i've mentioned before, but tldr i really do think that putting this into a ya age range couldn't hurt here. i think it's a more complex subject that is going to be hard to do well and simultaneously range towards eleven year olds, but if landy's been bitten by something of a "wanting to write detective novel" bug, then it makes sense he's returning to sp. do i kind of wish he'd let it go and write an adult-leaning fantasy detective novel, and actually make it stay a detective novel instead of introducing eldritch gods? eh, yeah, but as i say, i have a lot more hope for this being better tied in now.

something i did notice though which may well be coincidental is that the title seems reminiscent of ian rankin's "a heart full of headstones" - possibly landy's been reading a lot of detective, crime-y books and is wanting to take inspiration, which i would take a million times over the marvel crap that started seeping into phase two. i really hope that actual books were his inspiration here.

this has got long, but overall i'm a bit more hopeful for the new book. i've not picked apart the actual plotline that's given to us in the new blurb, but this is long enough as it is and i have too many thoughts on it (including the usage of the word apocalypse when they brought back the god of the apocalypse in a deal and now have to stop him doing anything dodgy) to keep this post from becoming an honest to god dissertation. last point though before i post - i wonder how many people made fun of the first synopsis for there to now be another on the website lmao

[powerofmettatonneo]

Happy Birthday Jason!/An Announcement + Bonus Content

After half a month of no updates on What Measure is a Non-Human, I finally have one! And, since y'all have been dedicated enough to follow my Tumblr, y'all get to be the first ones to know (all one of you currently; hi IYP! Thanks for all the support!).

I've been hard at work writing the story, but not spending as much time editing it as I would like, so I'm currently sitting on two-three chapters. This is because the mental downtime I have at my job gives me a lot of time to think of ideas that I want to immediately write down before I forget them, but the physical time I spend there takes away from the time I can spend editing it. I could hypothetically release them with less editing done on them, but I want to hold myself to a higher standard of what I release into the world and do genuinely enjoy the editing process. However, with that all being said, I have three days off in a row, and I'm going to use this chance to buckle down and try and get them ready for publication by Valentine's Day. Unfortunately, I can't promise anything, but I do have other news that I can make assurances on.

I've decided that Valentine's Day is Jason's birthday. I wanted to give most of the major characters birth months, at least, just for chronological cohesion; I chose this day in particular for Jason because I have personal history with the day that, when combined with the fact that he's the mc of a romance story, made it the perfect day for him. In celebration of his birthday, I have written out a 7k word prequel one-shot all about the confession/first kiss that I will be posting on Valentine's Day, come hell or high water.

I actually wrote a first draft of the first kiss portion all the way back in December, right after the second chapter, and as a bonus for those of you who take the time to find this post, whether now or in the future, I'm going to share it with you. Most of it will be repetitive to the last bit of the finished story, so beware of spoilers I guess (but this is a prequel anyways so like do they even matter), but I have added enough to the final product to make it stand out and above. Really, this is largely just to archive it as I think it's interesting to see how any story evolves over time, much less my own, and I hope y'all feel the same way. See y'all on Valentine's Day, and without further ado, here goes the original first kiss scene (also fair warning, there's still no smut, but it does get more explicit than I've previously allowed it to):

…Hazel reached up and kissed him. Jason entered a state of shock, freezing in place. At first, his mind went completely and totally blank, but that quickly changed into a series of scattered thoughts as his mind tried to reconfigure itself. I'm being kissed. By Hazel. Who is a Pokemon. Oh Arceus, I’m being kissed by a Pokemon—and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever felt. As soon as he returned to coherent thought, however, the kiss ended. Hazel pulled away, and Jason could see that she looked… scared. The look in her eyes was the same that he had when he confessed his feelings to her. It hit him then; the kiss was her idea of a response, and he had just frozen in place like an idiot. He could imagine the doubts and fears rushing through her at his complete lack of a reaction. He also knew exactly how to alleviate them.

Jason narrowed the gap between them and restarted the kiss. He could clearly feel the surprise in his partner and just as clearly feel it melt away as she returned it. Her lips felt velvety against his as they both pushed against each other with all their might. All of the nerves, the adrenaline, the raw energy they were feeling was channeled into the kiss. They fell back onto the bed, Hazel on top, and didn't stop for a second. It felt like they were melting together, becoming one.

Hazel broke from the kiss, and before Jason had a chance to react, she dragged her tongue across his lips. She moved it down, trailing along his chin and neck, resulting in a small moan escaping his mouth. When she arrived at his shirt, she grabbed it with her teeth and began tugging at it.

“S-stop,” Jason gasped, lightly pushing his partner back. Hazel let go of his shirt and stared at him, a look of disappointment in her eyes. It hurt him to see it, but he had read enough ‘romance’ stories to know where this was going.

“I’m sorry, but we can’t do this right now,” he said, trying to let her down gently.

“Umbre,” she whimpered, looking down at her feet. She felt ashamed at herself for pushing so hard so fast and afraid of what her best friend would think of her for it. Or, she did, until the implication of those last two words hit her. She jolted her head back back up and was met with a worried smile on Jason’s face.

“I’m not saying never,” he started, “but I don’t think I’m ready for something like that yet, and I’m pretty sure mom would just straight up kill us if she found out.” Hazel just sighed at that, but even the vague hope of “not never” sent a small shiver up her spine. She laid down on top of him, enjoying his warmth. They sat there in a comfortable silence for a while, simply enjoying each other’s touch in the wake of the roller coaster of emotions they had both just experienced, and soon drifted off to sleep, not caring what tomorrow might bring so long as they had each other.

[Also, one final super extra bonus note: my beta only left one comment on this original draft when I showed it to her, and it was too funny not to mention: on the line "Her lips felt velvety against his", she simply wrote "I refuse to consider the mechanics of this", to which I simply responded "coward".]

[pomrania]

I've read through all the notes on this post, and here's my commentary.

A lot of people said that this should be a miniseries instead of a movie, and I agree. I also think there could be multiple seasons of this concept, where each season covers a different location and time period; the only real limitations are a) do we know enough about the time and place in order to be able to set something there, and b) would human remains have survived in decent-enough condition such that they could be analyzed.

Another common point was that the "archaeologists" in the final product should be actors, with their scripts HEAVILY based on what the actual archaeologists said and did, mostly just edited for clarity ("check the thing with the thing, over by the whatsit"). It's POSSIBLE to mix "scripted and filmed and produced as a narrative" and "filming real people doing their thing" and have something that comes out looking cohesive, but I don't think it would fit for this story.

Speaking of the archaeologists, I think that concept should be seeded well ahead of time, before the first death. Maybe it opens with a shot of the "modern-day" location (possibly the dig site itself), then fades to how it looked in the medieval setting; best done if there's some major geographical feature in the frame, to maintain continuity of location. Or maybe an architectural feature (church? old Roman wall?) that lasted that whole time. And before the audience (or at least the audience who didn't watch or read any promotional material) knows of a murder, they've heard from the "archaeology" side of things that there's a lot of bodies which aren't consistent with "death from plague", so they know SOMETHING is going to happen.

(There shouldn't be any interpersonal drama on the archaeologists' side of things; they're there to science and to history. Plus there should be PLENTY of interpersonal drama on the medieval side of things, so you don't want it getting oversaturated. I think it would make a nice contrast, panic and dread and tempers running high as there's not just PLAGUE but MURDER in the main story, while in the other story people range from "puzzled" to "having the time of their life".)

There's a couple stories which kept getting mentioned in the notes. First, the game Pathologic, generally in context of "I thought this was talking about Pathologic until it mentioned archaeologists". I haven't played that game myself nor do I have any desire to, but if the idea of "a historical setting with plague in a settlement, and Other Bad Things are happening which need to be investigated without catching plague" strikes your fancy, check out the hbomberguy video about it. Second, the book 'Doomsday Book' by Connie Willis. I have never read it, and I didn't even check out the wikipedia page for it, but enough people mentioned it that it might be relevant. Third, the Brother Cadfael series of mystery novels by Ellis Peters, which I have in fact read, and would recommend to anyone who thinks "medieval murder mystery" sounds like a fun read. It's set in England near the border with Wales, during the conflict between Empress Maud and King Stephen, which for me is something I only know because of those books but I presume would be more informative to people with a background in medieval history for that region. The titular Brother Cadfael is a monk who uses his background as a mercenary, his knowledge of herbalism, and his understanding of people, to solve any suspicious deaths which occur.

Finally, there was someone -- I forgot to write down their name, I'm very sorry -- who wrote a pun that should be part of the tagline for this hypothetical movie/series: "whodugit".

A murder mystery film set in a medieval village. After an outbreak of plague, the villagers make the decision to shut their borders so as to protect the disease from spreading (see the real life case of the village of Eyam). As the disease decimates the population, however, some bodies start showing up that very obviously were not killed by plague.

Since nobody has been in or out since the outbreak began, the killer has to be somebody in the local community.

The village constable (who is essentially just Some Guy, because being a medieval constable was a bit like getting jury duty, if jury duty gave you the power to arrest people) struggles to investigate the crime without exposing himself to the disease, and to maintain order as the plague-stricken villagers begin to turn on each other.

The killer strikes repeatedly, seemingly taking advantage of the empty streets and forced isolation to strike without witnesses. As with any other murder mystery, the audience is given exactly the same information to solve the crime as the detective.

Except, that is, whenever another character is killed, at which point we cut to the present day where said character's remains are being carefully examined by a team of modern archaeologists and historians who are also trying to figure out why so many of the people in this plague-pit died from blunt force trauma.

The archaeologists and historians, btw, are real experts who haven't been allowed to read the script. The filmmakers just give them a model of the victim's remains, along with some artefacts, and they have to treat it like a real case and give their real opinion on how they think this person died.

We then cut back to the past, where the constable is trying to do the same thing. Unlike the archaeologists, he doesn't have the advantage of modern tech and medical knowledge to examine the body, but he does have a more complete crime scene (since certain clues obviously wouldn't survive to be dug up in the modern day) and personal knowledge from having probably known the victim.

The audience then gets a more complete picture than either group, and an insight into both the strengths and limits of modern archaeology, explaining what we can and can't learn from studying a person's remains.

At the end of the film, after the killer is revealed and the main plot is resolved, we then get to see the archaeologists get shown the actual scenes where their 'victims' were killed, so they can see how well their conclusions match up with what 'really' happened.

[rock-and-compass]

Angel S.5: Episode 1 - Conviction

Precursor - I wrote about the fifth season of Angel many years ago - probably around the time that the season 8 comics were first being published. I originally published these meta essays over on LiveJournal and I've decided to re-post them (as written), mostly for archival reasons. I love season 5 of Angel. It's such a shame it got axed before it could get the envisioned 6th and 7th series.

The final season of Angel was fantastic. It changed the parameters of what viewers had come to expect from the show, begins with a thematic presence that is explored at both textual and sub-textual levels and for the most part, manages to maintain its continuity and purpose throughout. This is achieved despite the fact that it was unexpectedly not renewed for the following season, despite being the WB network's second highest rating program at the time.

By the end of season 4, Angel has lost the two most important people in his life; He enters a deal with the evil law firm Wolfram and Hart - He'll run the LA branch in return for a new, magically created alternative life for his son Connor, a few memory alterations, and the promise of magical medical care for Cordelia after she is left comatose giving birth to a powerful being. As part of the acceptance deal with Wolfram and Hart, Angel is also given a mystical amulet which he promptly takes to Buffy in Sunnydale to help her with her war against the First Evil...

This brings us to the opening of Season five of Angel and things are automatically different. Firstly, Angel Investigations is no more. The team has moved to swanky new digs and all have new positions of power within the firm. They all seem uncertain of their mission and no one, except Angel, has any memory of Connor’s existence. Cordelia is only referred to vaguely as being ill. The consequence of the acceptance deal is all too clear. Connor might be safe and sound with his new nuclear family but Angel’s best friends have had their minds violated to achieve it.  

As part of the renewal deal with The WB, the network demanded no complicated arcs, stand alone episodes and resolution at the end of each one. This might have been what the network thought they were getting, but what they actually got was a season of television carefully and intricately planned to contain cleverly woven plot and subplot, story and meta-story that work together to build a rich and complex whole. This series will look at all twenty-two episodes of season five and examine the textual and sub-textual elements and themes, and how they all work together to construct a cohesive whole.

Episode 5.1 – Conviction 

Interesting title that, Conviction; 

A conviction can be a strongly held belief or it can mean a sentence given in reply to a crime. As always, plenty of food for thought in the episode title alone. On one hand we have Angel convinced he has done the right thing for the sake of his son Connor, but on the other we have Angel guilty of betraying his friends in order to bring it about.  Is their tenure at Wolfram and Hart a victory or a sentence? The question is posed and the action hasn’t even begun yet…

The opening scene is deceptively familiar. We see Angel, navigating the shadows to rescue a poor, unsuspecting damsel in distress from the clutches of a hungry vampire. Yet it is all so very different. Instead of returning anonymously into the dark, good deed done, Angel and said damsel are confronted by a group of army types and a photographer and lawyers. Sign indemnity form, take a publicity photo, and hey, what do ya know, that vamp Angel just dusted actually worked for one of his new Wolfram and Hart clients. Things are very different indeed. Wolfram and Hart have considerable assets and they are all at Angel’s disposal, yet he can’t make a move without seemingly tripping over them. They trap him. They force him to move in particular directions. That ‘conviction’ of the title is sounding a little more sentence-like already. Through this juxtaposition of the way things were and the way things are, the viewer is informed of the season’s mission statement; that Angel and his team can no longer be what they once were (Conviction DVD commentary) and much of the season is spent trying to reconcile that fact. Throughout this episode we see each of the characters question their reasons for coming to Wolfram and Hart and their conviction about fighting evil. They’ve taken on a monumental task here; fighting evil from within the belly of a behemoth of a beast.

It is no coincidence that during this episode we see many shots that showcase the hugeness of the Wolfram and Hart offices while emphasising the insignificance of our heroes.  

Fred and Wesley contemplate why they are at Wolfram and Hart. Fred gives a succinct description of recent events:

Fred:  What, because we're crusaders against evil and now the law firm that represents most of the evil in the world has given us its L.A. branch to run however we want, probably in an attempt to corrupt, divide, or destroy us, and we all said yes in, like, three minutes?

But, of course, due to the mind wipe, neither she nor Wesley are really in any position to answer the question of why they are there. They only know half of the information. No wonder they’re confused. Charles Gunn is equally out of his depth, wondering how his penchant for ‘hitting stuff’ will be useful around the office. Ironically, it is Lorne who is shown to be most adept at working the system. But then, he’s pretty well schooled in adaptation having, in recent years, to have adapted to life in a new dimension, the loss of his beloved club, life with Angel Investigations and now, a new position heading up Wolfram and Hart’s entertainment division. But Lorne is in the minority; even Angel can’t seem to navigate his way around the office. 

GUNN: You lost, boss?

ANGEL: (exiting the elevator) on a lot of levels. 

And so we are given another of our major themes of Season five - Angel’s need to find himself again, on a lot of levels. 

Angel meets the aptly named Eve, liaison to the Senior Partners and it becomes apparent that, more than ever, the team is firmly situated in the grey. Angel’s world has never been black and white but who knew grey had so many shades? There is no easy answers, no simple solutions but there are plenty of catches:

Eve:   This is the catch—I'm explaining the catch so you don't have to stand around wondering what it is. See, in order to keep this business running, you have to keep this business running. And that means keeping your clients—most of them, anyway—happy.

Keeping the clients happy, evil clients of an evil law firm that they now run; this is the reality of their new situation. These are the parameters in which they must work. These are the exceptions they have to make. 

It’s all very overwhelming.  To ease into the new situation Team Angel decides to work a particular case, just like they did in the old days. It’s the case of Corbin Fries, a choice piece of humanity involved in prostitution, drugs, and organised crime who threatens to unleash a ‘bomb’ if they don’t get him off on all counts. It turns out that, with the help of a mystic, Fries has been able to store his 'bomb', a deadly, highly infectious virus, inside his own son. Fries says the magic word and the magical container dissolves and hey presto, a lethal plague is let loose on an unsuspecting world. 

Wesley observes that Angel seems to be taking the case rather personally. And it is an uncomfortable contrast for those in the know. One father, willing to sacrifice his son in order to save himself, yet ultimately gets to keep said son, while the other father (Angel himself) was willing to sacrifice everything for his son in order to save him and give him a better life, knowing that it means that he will no longer be the father and that his son will have no memory of their relationship. Yeah, it’s personal all right. 

Angel intercepts Fries’ son before the Wolfram and Hart special operations team can take care of the problem in the traditional manner; that is, killing the son and everyone in his near vicinity. The leader of the special ops team, Hauser, is not happy with the new regime and doesn’t appreciate the interference so decides to kill Angel instead. Angel goes game-face and takes out the entire team of Wolfram and Hart henchmen. It is very violent and brutal. (The newish, Spike-following viewer is certainly reminded that we aren’t in Sunnydale anymore.) Guns and humans are fair play now. Angel has no qualms in killing humans to get his job done. His definition of justice is certainly, and somewhat disturbingly, very broad. He justifies his killing of Hauser by saying that 'he’s not part of the solution', words that Angel will use again later in the season to justify another killing.  

Meanwhile, Gunn has actually saved the day courtesy of a Wolfram and Hart brain enhancement. As the team member with the most untapped potential, Gunn was offered, and accepted a deal to upgrade his brain capacity with in-depth knowledge of the law, both human and demon. Charles becomes the legal intellect of the unit, a role that will offer substantial benefit to Angel in his position as CEO, but also makes the others question the prudence of allowing such radical intervention by the company who, for all intents and purposes, is still their enemy. Gunn argues that it’s a compromise worth making. It will benefit them all. And it don’t hurt any that he’s now suit-wearing, book-smart Mr. Charles Gunn, attorney at law rather than the street-thug vigilante he once was.  

Back at the offices of Wolfram and Hart, the mission a success, Angel is filled with a renewed sense of purpose and a determination - conviction, if you will, to make the situation work for them. He says they need to learn to wield the power of the company (or die trying, Wes interjects) and sooner or later the Senior Partners will show their hand and then they’ll know exactly why they’ve been bought here.

Angel fails to see that the offer of the LA branch is nothing more than a bold play by the Senior Partners to nullify a threat to their operations and control him. Wolfram and Hart have tried and failed to control Angel since he first came to their attention after pushing a client out of a high rise window. And control is the operative word here; the senior partners have plans for him, apocalyptic-level plans, and they want him on their side – a lure he’s thus far been able to consistently resist. So plan B is to co-opt him and his team; and in that mission they have succeeded spectacularly. By being at Wolfram and Hart, Angel has played right into their hands and puts his team's very function of fighting evil into jeopardy . . .  only they don’t realise it yet. 

 Angel opens an envelope addressed to him personally. The amulet, last seen in Chosen (BtVS 7.22) falls to the floor and immediately activates. A whirlwind of fire, smoke and ash reverses what happened in the hellmouth and Spike emerges. Wes is curious, Angel is angry at the arrival. In an episode that was about one father and son and echoed Angel and his absent son, it is not a coincidence that, at the end of it all, Spike makes his grand entrance. A huge theme for this season is Angel dealing with the consequence of giving up Connor, but also dealing with the fact that his troubled but much loved biological son has been replaced by a very much unwanted metaphorical ‘son’.  

Coming up next: 5.2 - Just Rewards

[amtrak12]

I don't have the energy to write about this very deeply (probably because I've written well over 100k of fanfic in the last 6 months), but I don't understand the criticism that the series finale undid all of Lucifer's character growth. I understand not being happy about the time loop and that Lucifer didn't get to stay on Earth to be with Chloe and their daughter. It makes total sense to me if you want to be angry about that. But I don't understand how that decision regresses Lucifer's character????

The show clearly wanted a neatly tied up ending with no loose ends and that's what they got with the time loop. The show also has revolved around parallels since the very first episode -- both in the visuals and in the plots/character arcs. A time loop where Lucifer "abandons" his daughter the way God abandoned him fits that structure perfectly. So, it makes sense why the writers went with the time loop. Is it what I would've done? No. I think with Amenadiel already changing what it means to be God and what an angel's role on Earth is, breaking the time loop would've fit right into that and it still would've been thematically cohesive. But literally everything in this show is so far out of my wheelhouse as a writer so who the fuck am I to tell the show what they should've done differently?

And also it does feel a little off balance if you break the time loop so Lucifer stays on Earth but Dan is still dead. So, Trixie has to lose her dad the way Chloe lost hers but Rory and Lucifer get a happy ending? No. If you're choosing the breaking cycles theme, then you gotta break all the cycles. For Lucifer to stay, Dan has to live. But the show already killed off Dan... do you see the problem?

Now, back to my original point about Lucifer's character arc -- I don't see how any possible ending is out of character??? Breaking the time loop, upholding the time loop, like what's the difference in regards to Lucifer's character arc? Is it that he's returning to Hell? But it's by his choice this time. How is that a regression? Is it that he's agreeing to do what his daughter asked of him when he's always been the rebellious/independent one? Well, first of all, it's his daughter asking and not his father. That's a big fucking difference. And second of all, putting his desires aside for someone else's is character growth???? And actually the whole point of his character arc through every season of the show?? Now, if you want to call it a negative character arc because you think he's worse off now than he was at the start of the show, fine. But it's not a backslide for his character in any way, because he never would've made that choice at any previous point in the show. It's definitely forward growth, and it's up to the viewer's interpretation to decide if that growth is negative or positive (personally I see it as positive).

IDK maybe I'm missing something. I fully admit I've only watched the entire series once all the way through, though I'm (slowly) working on a second full rewatch now. But complaints that the series finale "regressed" Lucifer's character feels to me like looking for a way to blame the writers for why you didn't like the ending. Fun fact: There doesn't actually have to be anything wrong with the writing for you to not like it. You can simply just not like it! It disappointed you. It wasn't what you were hoping for. It hit all your pet peeves. -- Literally, you can hate it for any reason at all, but I do not understand trying to justify that disappointment by claiming it undid all of Lucifer's character growth. I just don't think the text supports that claim.

[chensaa]

도원경 | 桃源境 | Shangri La VIXX

[barbwritesstuff]

Update on the Art Situation

Okay. So, firstly I just want to thank all the awesome people that have been messaging me. I've had several amazing artists reach out, a couple of really cool anonymous suggestions, and even a graphic designer in my inbox who explained why some Hosted Games art worked really well.

Thank you all so so so much.

I have decided the first step is to figure out roughly what I want the art to look like. Once I've done that, I think I'll know which artist to approach.

I'm using this post to think through some of my ideas to see if I can figure something out. Feel free to respond and let me know what you think. Blood Moon is, and always has been, a project I work on with the help of the IF community, and I don't want the art to be any different.

And so, without any further ado...

Idea #1

I've had a couple of people tell me they like the paw print logo I made way back when I started writing Blood Moon. This one.

Look familiar? Yeah. It's currently my icon.

It's just a couple of free assets I threw together back in 2020. An artist could do something like this way better. However, I think the reason people like it is because it's simple and has high contrast. I also personally really like the white and red scheme... probably because it's very similar to one of my favourite games as a kid.

Red and white are also pretty major colours used in another recent werewolf game so... eh... genre?

We're drifting a little away from the simple with this one but I do like the use of colour an the negative space.

Also, I don't mind the use of a character off to the side like that. I think it's interesting. The Golden Rose did this (with different colours) recently and it looks awesome.

So... eh... I guess Idea #1 is... red and white with maybe some blood splatters and/or a character on the side? Is that an idea?

Idea #2

But wait, what happened to simple?!

When I think of simple, graphic covers, I think of the Elder Scrolls games which are another favourite from my childhood.

I think these games look awesome. I also think cover art like this would be fantastic if Blood Moon ever became a series. Each game having a similar but unique symbol on a plain background would give all the different games a cohesive look which would be cool.

I mentioned Wayhaven in my original post and I think this is a good time to bring it up again. It also has a really simple symbol on the cover.

I think this works well. If I could have something like this for Blood Moon, I'd be very happy.

HOWEVER!

I'm reluctant to use a depiction of the moon as a focus for this design because several games (including Wayhaven) already have the moon or the moon cycle included in their designs.

So even though the moon is super relevant and has been a huge part of writing this game, I think I'm going to let it go for this one.

Which leaves this idea with one big question.

What's the symbol going to be if not a moon?

Eh... I could go back to the paw print? Or maybe a stylised wolf? I dunno.

Idea #3

Blood Moon is part of the long and honoured tradition of werewolves fighting vampires.

(yes I know the tradition ain't that long, and ain't that honoured, I'm sorry, I'm just trying to wax poetic here)

With that in mind (and as suggested by a couple of people in my inbox) having a werewolf and a vampire face off on the cover might just work.

After all, the catch phrase of Blood Moon is: "Date Werewolves. Fight Vampires."

It is what it says on the tin.

An illustrated cover with a werewolf and a vampire doing the classic Mortal Kombat 'VS' screen pose (but maybe a little more artistic) could be really awesome.

If there is some negative space between for the title, that would be ideal. Plus, by incorporating an actual werewolf and vampire on the cover, I think I'll attract the people who will want to read about werewolves and vampires.

(I was going to include some more images here but Tumblr said no).

So... something like this...

My artistic ability sometimes frightens even me.

This one would be illustrated and I'd need an artist who was really good at drawing characters in action. They'd really need to look dynamic.

Idea #4

There is no idea #4.

Idea #5

Blood Moon has a lot of characters in it. Leaning away from the simple and into the zany, it might be fun to have a classic Hollywood ensemble movie poster. You know the ones. They have a bunch of characters. Some giant. Some itty biddy.

Now, this idea does have the risk of being too busy, but I have seen it done well. I love this design for a Vampire the Masquerade card game.

I also like that this poster as a city in it. The city in Blood Moon is actually a really major character. Blood Moon is an urban fantasy, emphasis on the urban. While not a priority, putting a city skyline or some other urban elements is not an unwelcome idea.

P.S

I know some of these ideas are bleeding into each other. I'm sorry. This post was really me just trying to sort things out myself... so it's not very well structured.

A few final notes I wanted to make:

I know I've shown a lot of white and red designs... that's because I like that contrast. However, any contrasting colours could be cool. I am more than happy to give Blood Moon and neon pink and blue makeover if that looks good.

I like the font I used for the titles in Blood Moon. I don't want to change it. Any design has to work with the font of the title in the game.

A few people have sent me some more artistic/abstract ideas and while they sound really cool, I think I'd prefer to have something more direct. I don't want someone who loves werewolves to look at a really cool cover but not realise the game is about werewolves. I hope that makes sense.

Thanks so much for reading this behemoth of a post. If you have any ideas or suggestions PLEASE let me know. I am so new to this. It's a mess.

[breadknight-likes-things]

The Old World: Alterac Mountains.

Welcome to what I hope will get my game writing creative juices flowing, two subjects that are hard to go wrong for me: environment design, and World of Warcraft. To put it simply, in this (Hopefully) series of posts, I want to take a look back at some of the more notable zones in WoW Classic. Zones that changed heavily with Cataclysm, and thus no longer have the same feel, or design, as they once did, but are now preserved inside WoW classic, hopefully forever! To kick things off, I thought I'd start with a zone that has long fascinated me as a player. All the way back to when I first started playing World of Warcraft: Alterac Mountains. If you've only played World of Warcraft in the post Cataclysm Era, you may well be thinking "That isn't a zone", but here's the neat part, it never really was! Oh sure, Alterac Mountains had it's own map, and it's own set of neat things to find, but beyond five or six quests, that didn't even start in the zone itself, there really wasn't much to find there. That said, that's what made it so fascinating to me the whole time!

Of course Alterac has it's place in Warcraft Lore, home of the kingdom that betrayed The Alliance and was destroyed for it. Home to the original location of Dalaran (Still there, as of The Burning Crusade), and an important area of the kingdom of Lordaeron all the same. So somehow with all of that to work with, how is it that there's so little to actually do in the zone? It has a snowy mountain core, and some hilly grasslands, but not a whole lot to find in either place. There really aren't that many quests that have much to do with Alterac. You'll be sent to kill a few wizards, silence a few turncoat Forsaken, asked to steal some syndicate plans, but nothing with any kind of story through line, just scattered tasks. That lack of cohesion is, to me, what made this such a fascinating place to explore. It's like there was this whole grand zone, with so much to find, just left to rot on live servers with no real plan, or idea of what it's supposed to be.

The Lordamere Internment Camp is a fun example of everything WoW needing to be scaled down as an open world. I'll be honest, thousands of orcs probably didn't fit in those two buildings. Going there yourself reveals so many interesting sights even beyond the big points I've already touched. The claw like mountains overlooking Hillsbrad offer the best view a 2007 level of distance fog could handle. The southern shore of Lordamere Lake's long easy curve as it makes contact with the land, is a small little piece of natural beauty still left in a land that had been so thoroughly ravaged by the army's of the scourge. The farmstead in the northeastern corner of the zone that seems, against all odds, to actually be a functioning settlement so close to the Undercity. There's much to see, and more to find, even if nobody actually points you in it's direction. During Cataclysm, when the map was being changed, altered, and in some cases condensed: Alterac Mountains ceased to be. Obviously, it was still there, it never actually left the game, and many of the same sights I brought up in this post are still there for you to find. In reality, all that happened was the zone became combined with Hillsbrad Foothills. And frankly, it wasn't the worst idea. The two zones flow into each so naturally it's actually a bit a odd they weren't always just one place. After all, for a zone with the word "Hill" in it twice, it was always sort of odd that going uphill in any real way in Hillsbrad would invariably bring you to a different zone.

Alterac Mountains is an odd place. A full zone by name, the location of one a battleground entrance even, but still a little forgotten piece of one of the, at the time, biggest games around. I've imagined many more things that could have been done with Alterac, but of course, it's far from the most important place in the game. Until we get that Lordaeron revamp expansion of course, I'll just be over counting the days down to that theoretical beauty. Well that, and continuing to love Azeroth and everything in it.

[taliaxlatia]

Taliax's "AO3 Wrapped" 2021

Going into the new year, I thought I'd make a kind of status update on all of my current fic wips and upcoming projects, as well as a bit of a summary of what I accomplished this year. I would love to see other fic writers do something like this too if you want! I'm posting this on main since I have so many sideblogs, but my ao3 is under Taliax. at least that way it will look somewhat consistent when I reblog this other places lol

Putting this under the cut because it's long!

FIC PROGRESS IN 2021

AO3 says I posted 381,042 words! That's less than last year's 483,876, but this year I was not at home as much (from covid quarantine stuff).

I posted or updated 73 fics this year. (Wow I did not realize it was that many.) That included finishing Seventh Time's the Charm (my alphys's bad dates fic), The Undying (canon divergent from Undyne the Undying fight), and Sweat and Ginseng (Zuko tea shop fic). By finishing Sweat and Ginseng, I completed all of my ongoing ATLA wips. Pretty much all of my Undertale fics were written this year.

Undertale surpassed Miraculous Ladybug as my fandom with the most fics, with a total of 51 fics (ML had 48). I'm really happy with the amount of progress I've made this year!

That said, I still have a whole whole lot of fics to finish, so here is a breakdown of my wips and where they're at progress-wise.

WIP STATUS UPDATES

Any fics marked with an * are planned or may be started in my drafts, but haven't been posted yet. Each fic will have a "Status" after it, which is like my tldr for where it's at in terms of priority and/or completion. Even if something is high priority though doesn't mean I'll actually have the brain cells to write it at any given moment unfortunately. I tend to cycle between wips periodically instead of focusing on one at a time, which is why each individual fic can seem to update so slowly.

Below are all of my wips, published or unpublished, sorted by fandom and priority.

Undertale

Let's Do the Mortal Coil Shuffle: According to my solid outline, there are only 4 more chapters left, including the epilogue. The next chapter is giving me some trouble but hopefully will be easier now that I changed a POV decision I'd made. Very very excited for where this fic is going. In particular I'm really looking forward to wrapping up the Mettaton subplot. (Mettaton my beloved <3)

Status: Highest priority Undertale fic. 4-ish chapters left.

You Dug Up This Grave, Now Lie In It: THIS IS SUCH A FUN FIC. 10/10 would be working on it more, but Winter and I wanted to flesh out a bit more of the Ghost Fam backstory first. In particular there's a Chara & Mettaton fic that needs to be set pretty close to when Mettaton leaves to become star that would help establish some things for this fic. Other than that it's going great. This fic will probably be my next biggest endeavor after Mortal Coil Shuffle.

Status: On hold while establishing backstory. Will probably resume once MCS is done. Unknown but large amount of chapters left.

Be Good, Alright?: I don't know why I don't work on this fic more. I started a Christmas/Gyftmas chapter that I'll hopefully be able to get out today or tomorrow. The biggest challenge is not mixing up my Lore between this fic and the skelechara series. (Also that Frisk in this fic is written much differently than in any of my other fics.) (Also that I no longer have a solid outline because I changed so many things...) Anyway, depending on how stubborn Chara is about talking to Toriel, this could be finished in an indeterminate number of chapters.

Status: Medium priority. Usually what I work on when I'm stuck on other fics. Unknown but hopefully 5-10 chapters left.

Carrying the Weight of the World: Recently I merged both the Sansby and Alphyne fics in The Undying series into this single fic. This will make it easier for me to make a cohesive plot, since it turns out this fic will actually HAVE a plot lol. I have most of that planned out on the Alphyne side; still some of the Sansby sideplot I need to outline. That said, this fic doesn't get a lot of attention, and with it being a sequel, it is not quite as high priority as my other wips. (I am still very attached to it myself, but it is not driving me insane to hold off on for a bit.)

Status: Low priority until I knock out some other wips. May work on more if I get a good Sansby or Alphyne itch. Unknown number of chapters left, hopefully 5-ish.

*Alphamind: Alphyne (+slight Papyton) Megamind AU. I've started this and I'm really excited to work on it more, but again, I have too many wips and I'll go crazy if I have so many incomplete fics on ao3 ;;

Status: On hold until I knock out some other wips. May write up a more solid outline.

*King Mettaton Papyton multichapter: been brewing this in my heart for some time yet I keep starting on newer ideas instead of getting around to actually writing it. Rip. Still going on here because I really want to write it eventually. Hoping my utdr fixation lasts long enough for me to get there.

Status: Early planning stages. On hold until I knock out some other wips.

Deltarune

Something Bigger Than the Sky: Pretty much no one cares about this fic. I have absolutely had a blast writing it and it will drive me insane if I don't finish it. I also have a sequel fic planned that takes place in Castle Town and mostly involves Ralsei & Spamton, but that might get kind of long because. I really really wanna explore all of the relationship dynamics between the different Dark World characters too (Seam & Jevil, Queen & Seam, Spamton & Jevil, etc.). There will also be a few more fics in the same universe, one going into the backstory for Queen, and one for Seam & Jevil divorce.

Status: Highest priority (if only for my sanity). Only one chapter left. Sequel(s) will have lower priority.

Not a Nobody: I still only plan on this being three chapters total. Really hoping it won't do what SBTtS did and double that chapter count. Anyway I'm REALLY loving working on this fic. I have the beginning of the next chapter, it just got kind of buried in my docs when I hyperfixated on the swatchton fic. This fic has a decent outline but most of it is in my head, so it could definitely be flexible.

Status: Medium priority. 2 chapters left.

Miraculous Ladybug

Home Base: There are only like, 2-3 chapters of this left. Probably 2 and an epilogue. I am really stuck on the Chat & Carapace chapter that I'm supposed to be writing next for some reason, which is why I haven't updated in a while. Once I can get past that I think it won't be too difficult to wrap up the story. Also just wanted to mention that I'm so so grateful for all of the positive feedback on this fic, it really means a lot!!

Status: High priority. Would like to finish during early 2022. 2-3 chapters left.

First Dance, Second Chance: I have an outline. It's a pretty solid outline. I am also just very slow with writing this fic for some reason. Since we have established relationship Ladrien at this point, this one is probably the most difficult fic to work on when I get in a romance repulsed mood, which is also a major reason for delays.

Status: Medium priority. 4 chapters left.

*Secret Santa Oneshot: Marichat. No other spoilers.

Status: Highest priority. Deadline is early January. I should probably look up when exactly again lol

Kingdom Hearts

Contingency Plan: Updates were really slow this past year as I did mainly Undertale fic. It's hard to estimate how many chapters are left, but I do finally have all of the characters back at the Keyblade Graveyard, so it shouldn't be too many more. I'll give a safe guess of 3-5 more chapters.

Status: High priority. Unknown (hopefully 3-5) chapters left.

Shadows Alight: Officially UNCANCELLED. I am doing a full edit of the CaS series, and then I will go back to adding chapters to this fic and attempt to give it the real ending I was originally working towards. This may not be what anyone (besides me) wants, but after all these years Vanitas and Aqua in this universe are basically my OCs, and I finally have the confidence to do what I want with them. I hope you'll enjoy if you decide to come back to finish the ride. No idea how many more chapters it will be, but it will involve a fairly major rewrite of KH3 plotpoints (of course still focusing on Vanqua). This does include a Xehanort takedown and rescuing Terra. Hopefully I'll also get to use the Xionnort subplot I'd always had plans for.

Status: Undergoing edits. On hold until edits are complete, then probably still low priority. Lots of chapters left.

*The Luxu Building: A Vanqua/Terrella college custodial scifi au. (What a mouthful.) Will try not to get too into this unless/until I can finish Contingency Plan, but I've had the idea on the backburner for years now. I finally figured out how to get some of the plot straight to feel confident starting it.

Status: On hold.

GOALS FOR 2022

Attempting not to intimidate myself too much here dskfj. Ideally next year I would finish all (both) my ML wips and stop writing multichapters for ML in the future. I'd like to be more free to focus on utdr and vanqua (kh). Here's a more specific breakdown of some goals/hopes I have for the next year.

Priority Fics to COMPLETE:

Contingency Plan. This was first posted back in May 2018. It's been long enough lol

Home Base. This one is close enough to being done that it's a reasonable goal.

Something Bigger than the Sky. Literally just needs one more chapter.

Mortal Coil Shuffle. Biggest ongoing undertale fic, would be really nice to have completed.

Things that I just really look forward to writing: so many things!! But somehow, mostly Papyton? If you would've told me last year that I'd get so attached to them I would've thought you were crazy. I thought they were just a "pair the spares" ship at first that I saw in the background of soriel fics, but after writing them I've become really attached to their chemistry! So my deltarune papyton fic (Not a Nobody) and skelechara fake dating (Dug This Grave) are two I'm really looking forward to, even if I'd like to finish some other fics before prioritizing them.

If you actually read all this, thanks! I hope you have a great new year!!

[mysticdragon3md3]

I too was excited to see why Ryuji is trending and... ;_;

People are comparing him to a sexual abuser, like Kamoshida? I mean, yeah he shouldn't have looked down Ann's shirt. That wasn't cool. And some of his comments about Ann's Panther costume when she first got it, were not in good taste. But is Twitter seriously saying that puts him on the same level as Kamoshida? KAMOSHIDA???????????? omfg... I just can't anymore, you guys...I just can't anymore... x_x

Just this past week, I watched an Anituber video essayist mention the ubiquitous female objectification in anime as "because you know anime is going to anime", and I felt so validated about sensing that the amount of female objectification in Japanese media has become pretty much expected, normalized, even in the most unnecessary, tiniest ways. I'm so tired of being gaslit about this. Yes, Japanese media in general has a problem with making sure to have close ups of girls' bodies being ogled and women being reduced to (romantic) prizes to be coveted. That beach scene in Persona 5 did panning close-up shots of the girls' swimsuits; not the guys'. All the dating options in Persona 5 are from the pool of female Confidants; not the guys. Because "guys as romantic prizes to be won? Feh, what a *riDIcUlOuS* concept!" I understand that sex sells, that traditionally female sexualization sells to a traditionally cishet male audience which is still presumed to be the largest demographic, and that the anime industry (and presumably other Japanese pop culture creation) is actually financially high risk with low financial rewards for most studios, so they have to desperately scrape for any advantage. (Though recently, the Japanese pop culture industries, like anime and videogames, have begun to realize that there is a cishet female market, large enough to cater to as well, by mainstreaming series like Touken Ranbu. And they've also even recently begun to recognize that catering to fujoshi is worth investing into mainstreaming the BL genre, even a little bit. Thus, we're starting to get more mainstream BL fanservice, through series like Free Iwatobi Swim Club, Yuri on Ice, and Classmates.) So it's kind of our fault, for incentivizing studios to mandate and ensure each thing they make contains female objectification. The audience's spending habits and the industries' presumptions of our wants/demographics, have made cheesecake fanservice and waifu bait the most reliable bet for most studios. We spend the most money on collecting waifu bait merch and gacha cards of waifu. We argue the most about who is the "best waifu" and show our allegiances by buying their merch. We have turned waifu and cheesecake fanservice of such waifu, into the most reliable financial returns on investment for studios. And with studios so constantly, precariously on the precipice of bankruptcy, we the audience, have incentivized the mandate of cheesecake fanservice (of women/girls), even at the cost of cohesive storytelling/characterization. I understand all that. Studios are desperate, and they need to stay afloat. They need to cling and scrape towards any advantage they can get. That's why I'm so tired of people saying we're just imagining things. Anime and videogames are mandating to insert female cheesecake fanservice for cishet males, even at the cost of cohesive characterization, story themes, and good writing.

This includes Persona 5 shoehorning Ryuji into being the horny audience surrogate, no matter how awkward, nonsensible, and misaligned it would skew his characterization and previous writing. This is why fans of Ryuji often say his more "perverted" actions in canon, simply feel like a case of bad writing. Those actions don't feel like him. They feel more like fulfilling the Japanese pop media "obligation" to objectify women, than aligned with his character, as set up so far. Because anime/games just *have* to provide a POV audience surrogate character for everyone to ogle the girls through. Or at least reinforce the types of reactions they want from their audience, after showing us all these T&A shots. It felt more like fulfilling anime tropes than further building upon Ryu's established character of defending people, including women, against perverts like Kamoshida. I mean, this is the guy who was chasing down Kamoshida's car because he knew that pervert might do something. This is the guy who ran straight to the faculty office to punch out Kamoshida for torturing Shiho to her tipping point. The guy who jumped in front of a moving cab to rescue Makoto. The guy who survived watching himself and his mom get abused by his dad. And you want us to believe he wouldn't think twice about looking down Ann's shirt on the way to Futaba's Palace? Or up Ann's skirt, when she laid down from a food coma, after they Yusuke's welcome-to-the-Phantom-Thieves meal? Or so eagerly coerce Ann into posing nude? o_O? Atlus wanted us to believe this was consistent characterization??? To the Atlus writers' credit, they did write Ryuji feeling too guilty about going through Project Maid-Watch and they wrote him ditching it at the last minute. But they also wrote AkiRen to look down Ann's shirt without any hesitations and they wrote morgana to also look up Ann's skirt when she laid down from food coma. The Atlus writers---and most Japanese pop culture---just seem to have an unwavering determination towards these female objectification scenes, and they just saddled Ryuji with it, because he's the "silly, rambunctious, comedy relief" character "that you won't have to feel bad when he inevitably gets hit with *slapstick* retribution". Nevermind, it's counter to the story's theme and his characterization, that they've driven pretty hard as being something to take seriously. So some Ryuji fans will just call-out his inconsistent characterization into being creepy towards girls, as "bad writing".

On the other hand, it's wholly possible and realistic for a guy to exist who is against all the sexual abuse, that scum like Kamoshida do, while still being a dumb horny teenager who will do dumb horny teenage boy stuff. (I'm sorry for all the toxic heteronormative presumptions. But that's kind of the archetype that Atlus has been trying to slot Ryuji into...unfortunately.) They grow out of it. Gradually learning to curb dumb horny inclinations, is _not_ the same level as a sexual abuser! Why are people conflating that today?! o~O????????

And from what I've seen of Ryuji in Persona 5 Scramble/Strikers so far, he has been growing out of it. There's a whole lot less creepy ogling coming from him (AKA the writers), even during scenes which any other anime would have. He didn't get creepy about the girls' yukata, he didn't strain to listen to the girls on the other side of the Sapporo onsen, he didn't make grabby hands at the girls' swimsuits again, etc. Any other anime---hell, even in the previous chronological episode of their story, in the original Persona 5---Ryuji and the camera would have been creepy about the girls' yukata, he would have shut up the other guys so he could listen to the girls compare boobs in the onsen, he would have tried to sneak a peek at the girls' onsen, and there would have been a repeat of that close up scene of the girls swimsuits, with Ryuji providing the expected lecherous audience reaction. But none of that happened in P5S. Heck, even if you choose the option to say onsen are great, as if to imply that overhearing the girls talk about their boobs is great, Ryuji gets embarrassed about the topic and immediately tries to change the subject. Watch any anime from the 2000s or earlier, and the goofy, masculine archetype, like Ryuji, would have not only agreed, but would have suggested sneaking a peek at the girls' onsen. I'm actually really surprised that the Kyoto onsen scene didn't result in fanservice, because that's usually what happens. Even in anime where the boys know to escape fast instead of sneaking a peep, there's usually a screw up where they'll Rube-Goldberg-trip into girls' boobs or trip into full-view of the girls without their towels. Any other anime or Japanese media would have done that. It's typical, expected. "Anime is gonna anime." And yet, none of that normalized perversion happened in that scene. Persona 5 Scramble/Strikers, including Ryuji, did a whole lot less "dumb horny teenage boy stuff", suggesting Ryuji was growing out of that with time. Because even if Ryuji can be a little bit of a "dumb horny teen", he still knows better than that, is curbing such inclinations, and is a much better person than to increasingly act on or nurture such inclinations.

Ryuji is a good boy. Please don't conflate him with Kamoshitty.

9:53 AM 9/17/2021 Ok. I found the original Tweet that started this shitstorm. https://twitter.com/HerielP48/status/1438677678400409607

But this Tweet isn't actually saying that Ryuji is the same as Kamoshida. I thought this Tweet was saying that the overall writing, using Ryuji as a mechanic for "pervert comedy" was a bad decision from Atlus's writers, especially since it contradicted the themes of the Kamoshida Palace story arc. I actually agree with that.

9:56 AM 9/17/2021 Oh, wait. There's a previous Tweet to that one: https://twitter.com/HerielP48/status/1438677262145101824

I see that you tried to save the first sentence, with your second sentence---which I agree with: I agree that the writing made an awful decision in having Ryuji or any character sexualize their female friends, after the sexual abuse they suffered. But your first sentence was still very strongly implying that Ryuji as a character is a problem, more than the writing injecting out-of-characterization into the character that they had already established with Ryuji thus far. That wording was just kindling waiting to start a firestorm. ~_~;

10:29 AM 9/17/2021

Well, the one good thing I'll say about Ryuji trending because of dumb, offensive reasons, is seeing the sheer avalanche of people jump to defend him. This wasn't something Ryuji got, early in the fandom! ;o; Remember when he was the most hated character in the fandom??? And now, everyone is overwhelmingly loving on Ryuji today! ;u;!!! Thank you guys. ;u; He is a good boy. ;U;

[fillingthescrapbook]

Rewriting The CW's Kung Fu, Part 9: Reflections and Moving Forward

And we have reached the end of our Kung Fu journey. If you haven't seen where we began, here's a handy guide to the previous posts:

Part 1: The Characters

Part 2: The Pilot

Part 3: The Mythology

Part 4: The Story Map

Part 5: Act I

Part 6: Act II

Part 7: Act III

Part 8: The Finale

Before I start with the lessons I learned and my other reflections, I want to thank @flailingbloo for all of her help and support in this endeavor. Without her to talk to and commiserate with, I would probably have gotten stuck in Act II forever and everything I've written would've been riddled with spelling errors and grammatical mistakes. So my eternal gratitude to flailingbloo. And now, we begin:

Lessons.

Going into this writing exercise, I already knew it was going to be hard. Writing stories is time-consuming, it's nerve-wracking, and it takes a lot of research...and patience. Writing, especially for television, is also not a solitary task. I mean, sure, the writing itself needs to be done alone--but everything that comes before, during, and after the writing needs input from so many people.

Although I have a lot (and I mean A LOT) of complaints about how The CW's Kung Fu was handled and written, I do have a lot of respect for the work that the writers put into their scripts. And I do appreciate all that they have done to have a show like this produced.

Doing this rewrite, I learned that it's really important to make the main character likeable. Like, every episode I broke down, I had to ask myself: is Nicky likeable here? Is she someone who viewers would want to root for? Like, for me she is, but only people who read what I wrote can say for sure. My perspective is now a bit skewered because I have bias.

Second, story maps are very helpful. There were times, especially during Part 6 (where I wrote breakdowns for Episodes 6 to 9) where I kept getting road-blocked by where I want the story to go. So I went back to the story map over and over again, to remind myself--where does the story itself need to go? How do I help the characters get to the point where they're ready for what needs to happen? (This is also where flailingbloo helped the most for me. Like, she really reminded me why I was doing this rewrite in the first place. Because I care about Nicky and the show. I wouldn't have funneled so much of my time and effort into this if I didn't.)

Another thing I learned, or rather re-learned, is the art of letting go. I created the character of Stanley to recur throughout the series as a reminder of who Nicky was and who she is becoming. And then I finished writing the first act without even mentioning him. By the second act, I was ready to use him finally--but, after multiple false starts, I realized Stanley was one of the reasons why I was having a hard time pushing Nicky's story forward. Because I kept trying to go back to the past. So I decided in the writing of the second act to shelve Stanley completely, only to find him popping up in the second to last episode in a, at least I hope, more organic way.

The last thing I learned in this exercise was that, whenever a new character needs to come in, I have to look at my existing characters first to see if any one of them can fulfill the role I needed for the story. Like, creating new villains for Nicky was fun, sure--but, at the same time, I realized that there were already existing villains that could recur. Like the Triad, who played villains in two more episodes after the pilot; and Henry's martial arts class at the community center became the source of two existing storylines from the actual show.

Reflections.

Do I think what my rewrite is better than the show? To me, yes. But, again, I am very biased. That said, I am proud of how I utilized the characters that the show created and didn't really give much importance to. Dennis, when he was introduced, felt like a rich character that could provide a very different point-of-view from the Shen siblings--but he was mostly relegated to being eye-candy. And I thought I gave him more meat by making him more involved in Althea's sexual harassment storyline, while also involving him in Nicky's stories.

That said, I also realize that I wasn't able to play up Nicky and Evan's past relationship as I was writing the episodic breakdowns. I was able to give them a lot of opportunities to explore their chemistry together, as I did with Nicky and Henry, but I kind of dropped the ball as a writer on guiding those planted moments into something more significant. Granted, I only wrote breakdowns and not actual scripts. Maybe I could've explored the romance angle more with a little sprinkle of direction and dialogue.

As I went deeper into the rewrite, I do see how easy it is to fall in love with characters as you write them. It's very easy to trap yourself into wanting villains to be more well-rounded. I keep having to remind myself that I don't have to redeem everyone. Just Nicky. Which became harder and harder as I went further and further into the story.

Another thing that became difficult as I went on? Keeping the mythology from just bursting open. That's how Henry, as I wrote him, evolved into becoming the son of a guardian--just so there's a reason for him to be so invested in Nicky's quest, while also having someone who can explain things to our main character. I'm actually really proud of that evolution.

All that said, I also have to recognize that I rewrote the show with the benefit of hindsight and the lack of budget constraints. In the real show, there's a group of writers who each have their own ideas of what the show should be. (This is where a head writer--not a show runner--would come in handy, so they could reel in the story to what needs to be told.) With more writers comes more chances for inconsistencies to happen. (And this is where a script supervisor, or a writing assistant, could come in handy.) And then there's production notes and budget. Not to mention, you know, the whole pandemic that's still happening. I didn't have to think about those things while doing this rewrite.

So, again, I want to give the writers kudos to actually producing scripts. I hope they haven't lost their minds--or their will to write--just because there are people like me who nitpick at everything. That's what people who love things do. We nitpick because we care.

Moving forward.

I do plan to stick with the real show for Season 2. I hope it's planned better. I hope they get researchers (plural!) and a writing assistant to help in the writing room. I hope the writers would sit down with the cast to discuss and develop the characters more. And I really hope they hire a better fight choreographer and fight director for the second season. (Like, rehire the people who choreographed and filmed the flashback scene in... Episode 11? The one with Nicky's maternal grandmother and Pei-Ling's own mother?)

I hope that the Nicky-Henry relationship gets explored realistically, and if a potential new love interest is ordered, they get introduced in a way that isn't antagonistic. Make them more well-rounded characters too, please. Make us want to root for their success. And while I think Nicky doesn't have an iota of chemistry with Evan, I do like Evan himself as a character. So I hope they get him more involved in future storylines--as an outsider looking in, sure, but also as an honorary member of the Shen family.

With regards to the Shen family, I do hope that we get to explore their relationships and dreams more before the show drops the reveal about Mei-Xue's daughter. I want Althea to have a cohesive storyline that doesn't pause for no reason. I want Ryan to explore being Asian AND gay as a first-generation Asian-American. And give the Shen siblings some recurring friends. They don't have to be semi-regulars (unless there's a story that can be explored) but let's not keep the Shens in a bubble. It was weird in the first season. Especially for Althea whose friends only showed up for her bachelorette party and never again. Not even when she was panicking about wedding preparations, which, considering how rich Dennis's parents were? They wouldn't let Althea be in charge of anything. They would hire a Chinese wedding coordinator. And an expensive and hard-to-book one at that. They donated an entire hospital wing, for crying out loud.

I want Jin to have an actual character, and not just be the supportive dad who loves his kids very much (admittedly my own rewrite also made this same mistake). And I want Mei-Li to be consistent as a character. Like, no more surprise twists about being the descendant of a legendary warrior without proper foreshadowing and plot-planting please.

Dennis shouldn't just be eye-candy. The same applies to Kerwin. Sure, I get that shirtless men are a must in a CW series, but please give their characters some meat too. Dennis's nerd-side was never showcased in the show, and Kerwin had that poor little rich boy background that didn't get explored either. Because the show was too busy keeping him and Zhi-Lan tearing each others' clothes off--when they're not tearing other people down.

Also, don't drop the ball on the tease that Bian-Ge is now everywhere. If I understood correctly, Bian-Ge is Kung Fu's version of Qi. If yes, then I hope they treat it respectfully as a force of nature--and not just the source of magic. The flowers from Bian-Ge itself can be magical, sure, I have no problem with a fictional flower being a McGuffin.

Finally, I hope the show also explores other Asian communities and cultures. Like, Kung Fu is great--but imagine if Nicky had to face someone who is versed in Silat Melayu? Or someone who uses Arnis? Someone who practices Kalaripayattu or Lathi Khela? Or Kuntao? Imagine Nicky having to use Wing Chun against someone who uses Karate or Krav-Maga? Asia is a big continent and there are so many different types of martial arts found from the Middle East to Southeast Asia. Kung-Fu is an umbrella term, so it'll be great to see the different styles found under it.

... This went long again. Sorry about that. Funny thing is, when I started this whole rewriting plan? I thought it would take three posts, tops. And look at us now. Nine posts deep, and it seems I still haven't run out of things to say. So I'm cutting myself off before I completely wear out my welcome.

But if you've read all my Kung Fu posts, please do reach out. Let's discuss the show and what it can do to produce a better second season.

[autisticmight]

how does someone who knows little-to-nothing about it get into sanders sides? i saw thomas' vines, and i've been sort of tangentially aware that the facets of his personality that he portrayed in the vines have since become characters, but there's a whole bunch of new ones??? what the fuck is a janus???? HELP. tldr where do i find The Lore? plz obi wan ur my only hope

it’s very simple!!! you hyperfixate on thomas sanders’s content in, like, 2016? and then he uploads a video called ‘my true identity’, which is a bit weird, but you love those vine characters. then he uploads more, and it becomes a trend. apparently people in the comments are shipping the prince guy and anxiety. you rewatch the new year’s video an embarrassing amount of times with your dog

i had a whole paragraph here about why i like the series, and why i dropped it and then picked it up again, but it was just a block of lowercase text and i guess it’s kind of hard to read

anyway, here’s the playlist of every episode, but i’m going to put a summary of the series and individual episodes under the readmore, while also ranking them, because i am Special Interesting and i like being useful. and i guess i’m gonna write using. like. actual grammar. if the readmore doesn’t work, then. have fun reading my infodump

here we go

Sanders Sides: A Summary

Fictional Version Of Thomas Sanders (known as Character!Thomas, and will be simply referred to as ‘Thomas’ henceforth) has ‘Sides’, which are parts of his personality that have been exaggerated and personified. It’s a nice little series set in some kind of semi-urban fantasy world, but mostly in Thomas’s living room. It mostly uses the idea of ‘Sides’ to represent the inner schemata of an individual. In simpler terms, you know when you’re conflicted, and you end up arguing with yourself? Yeah, it’s that.

Also, don’t read the comments, unless you want to disregard the care I’ve taken to not put spoilers in the Season 1 Summaries.

Season 1

I’d like to split this into parts, because there are a lot of things in earlier episodes that conflict with later characterisation. However, it’s also fun to watch them, and then rewatch them after some of the longer episodes, and feel your heart shatter!

This half of Season 1 was made solely by Thomas. It tends to be a bit more scattered, and can be watched out of chronological order, or completely skipped. Yes, I’m telling you that you can skip literally all of this section, if you want to. However, these are also the easiest videos to watch, and offer a taste of Silly Sanders Sides Hijinks without the emotional commitment.

My True Identity (6 min) - Thomas delves into the three aspects of his personality; his Logic (Teacher Guy), his Creativity (the Prince, also called Princey), and his Morality (Dad Guy who is Not Thomas’s Dad). At this point, the characters are far more similar to their Vine counterparts, and the characterisation clashes with later episodes. (3/5 - A nice way to see if you’ll enjoy the humour of this series)

Way Too Adult (5 min) - Thomas is asked by his family to help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Dad Guy pops up and discusses with Thomas how he can better learn to take care of himself. Features a talking stove, which is part of the reason why I classify this series as urban fantasy, and the start of a running joke. (2/5 - A fun, albeit rare, look into Dad Guy being responsible. I actually prefer this to My True Identity, but ranks lower due to conflicting with later S1 characterisation.)

Taking On Anxiety with Lilly Singh (6 min) - Thomas hopes and dreams to get rid of his Anxiety, who is a sassy, snide guy, sitting on the staircase. Princey, as the embodiment of Thomas’s hopes and dreams, is... Usurped by an imaginary version of Lilly Singh, who helps teach Thomas how to cope with feeling anxious. (3/5 - Introduces some secret tools that will help us later. The tools are Thomas being able to travel to various places in his head, and also Anxiety.)

A New Year of Lying to Myself... In Song!! (7 min) - The first video wherein you realise that this is A Thing. Thomas welcomes in the new year, hoping that 2017 will be better than 2016. Logic shows up to help him figure out some New Year’s Resolutions, accompanied by Dad Guy and Princey. Anxiety joins in to point out that Thomas has rarely, if ever, kept to his resolutions before. Through the first musical number of the series, the Core Sides and Thomas figure out simple, achievable resolutions that Thomas can use to improve his wellbeing. (4/5 - Unintentional foreshadowing in the form of a bop.)

The Dark Side of Disney (6 min) - Princey, not for the last time, enthuses about the wonders of Disney. However, Anxiety also appears, insisting that Disney is not as wholesome as it first appears. They argue and bond, despite the fact that Thomas still hasn’t redacted his statement regarding his hopes and dreams to get rid of his Anxiety. (2/5 - I have strong feelings on the meaning of ‘Beauty and the Beast’ and ‘The Little Mermaid’, both of which are shrugged off in favour of the tryhard-edgy ‘blegh stockholm syndrome’ and ‘blegh change yourself to get your man’. Still, it’s a fan-favourite for a reason, and the endcard always makes me smile.)

I’m in a Disney Show!! (6 min) - Princey enthuses about the wonders of Disney, because Thomas is in a Disney show. He talks about what happened, while the Sides (mostly Logic) suggest clickbait titles in order to entice people to watch the video. (2/5 - L*gan P*ul is mentioned, as he was also in the episode.)

The Mind vs. The Heart (6 min) - Thomas finds himself split between following his mind, Logic, or his heart, Morality. Features onesies, and looks further into the characters of Logic and Dad Guy. (3/5 - Pretty calm and peaceful, to be honest. It’s nice.)

Then we move onto the second part of Season 1. This is when Thomas’s friend, Joan, began to offer their input into scriptwriting and directing. They’re most of the reason why Sanders Sides is an actual series, instead of being silly skit characters in short vlogs. From here on in, episodes become more complex, and work on an actual timeline.

Alone on Valentines Day (9 min) - Thomas is rather upset that he will be, as the title says, alone on Valentine’s Day. The Sides try to help him figure out how to get a date with an imaginary version of his friend Valerie, but each of them has a weirder way of going about it than the last. (4/5 - Far more cohesive than previous videos, but Thomas still wasn’t fully out as gay, so his hypothetical date is a woman. Yes, I took points off because of that. Yes, I’m about to erase the 3/5 to make it 4/5 because Valerie is a delight.)

Losing My Motivation (9 min) - When Thomas finds himself procrastinating, Logic takes it upon himself to find out which side is causing it. In order to get into a deductive mindset, Logic dresses up as Sherlock, while Dad Guy joins in as Watson. Once the case is solved, an important piece of information is revealed: the Sides have names. (Logic’s name is revealed) (3/5 - It’s just a fun little video, and I can’t keep giving every video from here on in 4/5, or that’ll ruin the whole thingy.)

Sanders Sides Q&A (9 min) - Exactly what it sounds like. There’s not much else to say. (2/5 - I love it, but it’s not really necessary to understand the whole series. It’s just extra characterisation.)

Am I Original? (12 min) - Thomas finds himself in a creative rut, trying to think of a completely original idea. Princey requests full creative control - “full-on Daydream Mode” - in order to rapidly consider and enact many different concepts, all while trying to make something that has never been seen before. (Princey’s name is revealed) (4/5 - Important characterisation for Princey. I originally rated it lower due to Thomas’s inability to rap, but upon rewatching, i found that the ending dialogue between Princey and Thomas was worth two points, rather than the single one I gave it previously.)

My Negative Thinking (13 min) - When Thomas messes up in an audition, his ego - Princey - is out of commission and being cared for by Dad Guy. Therefore, the only Sides available to aid him in this situation are Logic and Anxiety, neither of whom can help Thomas in the way he wants to. Anxiety is worsening Thomas’s mental state, so Logan proposes a debate in order to combat those cognitive distortions. (4/5 - A fan-favourite episode which offers a lot of insight into Logic and Anxiety as characters. It is useful as a tool for identifying cognitive distortions in real life, which may help with the individual’s mental health. Even though it introduces another running joke, it’s educational and fun, and it develops their relationship in a positive manner, I just don’t particularly enjoy it.)

Growing Up (15 min) - It’s Thomas’s birthday! He’s in his late twenties, and he’s still a kid at heart. He hasn’t done his laundry, he's silly and immature, and he feels like he isn’t at the point that he needs to be in his life. Therefore, all the Sides, except for Dad Guy, who ironically embodies Thomas’s inner child, work on trying to make him more mature. (Morality’s name is revealed) (3/5 - Features the concept of Voltron Shirt. I love this episode, but there is a noticeable change in audio quality at the end which affects how enjoyable it is.)

Making Some Changes (15 min) - Back in Thomas’s living room, and in opposition to his view from the last episode, Anxiety is worried about how life changes in unpredictable ways, and especially about losing contact with Thomas’s friends. Therefore, in order to keep Thomas’s friends permanently by his side, Princey gets them all to shapeshift. (3/5 - It might be skippable, but it’s just really, really fun.)

Becoming A Cartoon (10 min) - Adding to the whole urban fantasy thing, it turns out that animators can literally, physically turn people into cartoons. Thomas wants to be a cartoon. Princey catches Anxiety in his arms and says “everybody loves the villain,” and I think that’s all you need to know. (1/5 - Co-stars B*tch H*rtman, known for Fairly Odd Parents, Danny Phantom, and Being A Bigot, who did the character designs for the Sides, if not the actual animation. And the designs are kind of. Eh. Just watch some fanmade animatics.)

Accepting Anxiety (23 min) - Part 1: Excepting Anxiety (10 min), and Part 2: Can Anxiety Be Good? (14 min) - HOO. If the musical number or the animation didn’t clue you in, this video confirms that Sanders Sides is A Thing. Remember how Thomas hoped and dreamt to get rid of his Anxiety? Remember how he never redacted that statement, or even expressed a bit of remorse? Well, here, his wishes come true, and he doesn’t feel bad about it at all! That’s because he has absolutely no shame, caution, or fear of death. Yeah, he’s a mess. Therefore, the Sides make him take them on a magical quest to Anxiety’s Room, in order to un-mess-ify Thomas. (Anxiety’s name is revealed) (5/5 - The team really went above and beyond with this one. Like. Hoo. That’s it. Just. Hoo. Hoo. I’m an owl.)

And that’s Season 1!!! I’m going to add Season 2 in a reblog, because this has taken roughly three hours and it’s been really difficult to not spoil their names!!! which i did anyway because their names are all easier to type from muscle memory!!!

[tiptapricot]

hiii! I've recently returned to legion fandom after having loved the show years ago! I'm hearing lots of noise about the new bendis run and u seem to have all ur stuff in order! If it's possible, could u school me about the new run is working against what losh stands for? Thanks for reading!

First off, welcome back dude! Glad to have you with us!

But second, oh bro. The new run is... hm. I have some opinions. As a reference, I’ve read the full first issue and a good amount of screen caps from the others, but you don’t have to read far to pick up most of the problems I’m going to talk about.

I would also like to preface this by saying I in no way mean to legitimately insult Bendis as a person, this is solely about how he’s writing the LoSH run. Rant under cut.

I was really excited when this run was announced. I grew up with the animated show and it was my introduction to both DC and superheroes as a whole, so the world and characters are very close to my heart. When the new series was getting teased, I was looking forward to not just the awesome character designs, but also for the new fans it was going to introduce to LoSH with the pull of Super Sons characters (more on that later).

However, just within just the first few pages it felt really off. The pacing was weird and the dialogue felt like it was jumping from point to point just to get the exposition out there. I know comics in general have faster pacing than graphic novels, shows, or movies, but that wasn’t the problem. The writing felt choppy and confusing.

That brings me to my other writing issue. Bendis clearly... doesn’t... get these characters. I know he’s done other stuff that’s good, my dad praises the daylights out of some of his work, but as a first time reader... not a fan.

All the characters feel weirdly sterile? Like they don’t understand human emotion to the point that they come off as cold/creepy it’s :/ but I don’t think it’s on purpose? The big issue that grew off of characterization, however, came with the Super Sons crossover.

Basic premis leading up to this, Jon got aged up five years shortly before this run by way of some space time weirdness, came back, and ended up creating a future holiday that was really important to the United Nations.

The Legion came to the past and was like: yo you’re important and we need your help with a thing, want to come to the future and be on our team? Which already turned a lot of people off because Jon had just gotten back to his family after some big trauma. But anyways, he goes with them like it’s the best opportunity ever, but there’s a case they’re working on in the future involving Aquaman’s trident and Jon’s like: Oh Damian would be perfect for this.

Queue the shit show.

There’s better breakdowns of this out there that go into detail about how fucked up this issue was but to summarize the main big no nos:

Right off the bat, air in the future is weird and you need a special medical patch to breath. As a result, when Damian is brought to the 31st century, he starts choking/suffocating. Jon is freaking out because holy shit my friend is dying but the Legion just stands around like... what are we supposed to do? Help him? Until Brainy finally does the only human thing (ironically) and takes Damian to the medical bay.

Throughout the whole issue everyone is treating Damian like shit because in whatever timeline they’re in he turns evil in the future. This not only undoes a lot of Damian’s character development (and is a plot point DC writers have already done to death) but also makes the whole team look like dicks for being hostile to a kid who hasn’t done anything yet.

Finally, when Damian ends up actually helping them, proving he’s a good person, Imra tells Jon Damian has to go back to his time. They’re both confused because there’s no reason for that to happen, so then Imra, without asking, completely erases all memories of coming to the future from Damian’s mind and forces him unconscious. Jon is rightfully angry and Imra tries to convince him to let her take Damian back, which he does, and that’s just kinda how it ends. Reading this scene is really creepy because Imra comes off very manipulative and like... idk it just makes me really uncomfortable.

They also have Cham also call Damian baby Hitler at one point so that’s fun 👍

There was, of course, huge outrage when this issue was published. It was pretty much universally accepted that Damian was treated like shit the entire issue and that it was both out of character for Jon and (from Legion fans’ perspectives) out of character for the whole team to act the way they did.

It was a slap in the face to Super Sons fans and fans in general to have a character be treated so grossly, and it tainted a lot of non LoSH fans’ perspectives of the characters.

That was probably the most painful thing for me. These characters have been and are a big part of my life, so to see them written the way they were, and to see so many people hating on them (rightfully so for these versions) sucked.

I haven’t looked into the newer issues if there are any more out, I’m just ignoring the run at this point because it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I really hope Bendis takes it in a new direction, that the story itself gets more cohesive and that the characters become actually likable, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if it just stays at the level it is. At this point, I would just stick to older LoSH comics if you want more content.

(Though let’s please agree as a fandom to steal some of these designs because they’re fucking fantastic. The art is the only part of this run I’ll praise.)

If you have more questions or want clarification feel free to ask! There are also a lot of other people on here and on other sites who have talked about their own issues with the run. And of course there are people who are enjoying this story or are at least waiting to see where it goes and that is also valid, it’s just really not my cup of tea.