#is this self-indulgence/projection? absolutely
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Heyooo! I spent the last year creating an incredibly self indulgent Ronadora Pinup calendar!
❤💜Pre0rder here!! ❤💜
I'm putting them up for preorder from today (12/06/23) to 12/16/23! Orders are to United States only, for now. This is my first time selling, so plz be kind ;w;
(And shoutout to @biscuitgeekery for the awesome product photos!)
#the vampire dies in no time#kyuuketsuki sugu shinu#kyuushi#ronadora#draluc#ronaldo tvdint#ronaldo kyuushi#tinydraws#anyways this is my calendar project that i was being vague about#Just a quick word: these absolutely will not be arriving in time for christmas#it may arrive in time for january 1 but i wouldn't hold my breath#'tiny why didn't you post this sooner?' i'm Not Smart and i started this project on a whim#i dwelled on the concept for like 3 whole months#and then started working on it january 2023 and basically did a month each month and then realized too late that post production is a thing#again this was a very self indulgent project#it was made for me#and then maybe the whole 2 people who would be even remotely interested in this f;oaiwnfewao
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more dating sim stuff that i’m posting as a Special Treat - here’s arthur, guinevere, mordred and dinadan!
#beans art#arthuriana#arthurian legend#king arthur#queen guinevere#sir mordred#sir dinadan#was dinadan originally going to be in this project demo for class? no#did i add him out of pure self indulgence? yes absolutely#i regret nothing
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the price of recognition
#flele art#fanart#2024#project moon#limbus company#hong lu#hong lu lcb#rodion lcb#rodya lcb#this is actually kind of old but i never had the courage to post it until now since it was self indulgent#ok long ramble on the tags incoming#i hope to GOD rodya goes apeshit in canto 8#but also like. yknow how hong lu is special because of the jade eye#i think it'd be fucked up if she like. saw how he was treated specially. with such preferential treatment from granny jia#but also sees how... the jia family also treats hong lu like ABSOLUTE ass#like yeah he's special. but ultimately... he doesn't actually have much freedom#treated less like a person and more like a doll you put up for ornamental purposes.#a jewel. a piece of decoration.#recognized sure! but at what cost. would it really be worth it?#anyway i hope rodya mercs one of the jias
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also finding out about re:curse, that involves an organization named aster, shortly after deciding the virtual assistant/system manager/antivirus character im working out will Also be named aster, was oddly funny to me
anyway i guess he felt like today was a good day to make a bad decision /j
#re:curse#caroline#caroline re:curse#oc#object head oc#CaelOS#lun aster#aster#doodle post#i Had to indulge given that caelos is Also a bit of a techie nerd self-indulgence of a project#though it's like. absolute infancy stage
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Cicadas are singing their song in the near distance, an orchestra of thousands surrounding Will-- a singular. The porch is slightly damp from August's evening rain, humidity capturing water into the wood even hours later. None of that bothers him. He's lost in the lights high above him in the night sky, or maybe he's just lost in his own head. It's a differentiation he hasn't been able to make yet.
It's almost torture when he sits out on this porch. No one but him and the crescent moon, nothing besides the condensation of his beer in his hand. Almost as if Will was back in Maine sitting on the porch of his childhood home. Back then, he wasn't out there alone on purpose. Nothing in that small town fit his big emotions so he'd take his heart and spill it out to the stars in order to keep himself in check. He would allow the midnight blue to see his honest self, anyone else would judge his character except for the universe. Better to cling to shooting stars than gamble trusting his secrets to a potential knife in the back.
Except he shouldn't be on the Haus porch projecting childhood. He could very easily ask to devour a homemade pie or study on that god-awful couch or listen to his blades across empty ice. Yet Will finds a yearning in his heart for a familiar loneliness because sometimes that's easier than riding a bike. Pie and studying and even empty ice require questions and people. Improvement in trusting others only goes so far. Sometimes he needs to flashback four years to feel something so entirely known in order to process his current unknown.
This whole situation with Nursey is blooming across his chest. Maybe he's outside--nostalgic--because he can rely on a younger version of himself. He can only rely on those feelings dusted across the night sky all those years ago. He can only hope he finds them as he searches constellations. He can only hope that this ratty porch in Massachusetts can get him close enough to the Maine stars which hold his secrets. The very secrets he's hoping will answer a question of fear from childhood and light a new path.
Will flicks the condensation off of his hands before wiping them on his already-damp jeans. Maybe more than the stars heard his questions tonight. Maybe the cicadas singing were also listening. Maybe they can change past loneliness and provide today's support. He doesn't know why he feels poetic or nostalgic on this random summer evening, but he knows a little peace has found him.
#this is not structured this is not my best#but it was absolutely what i needed to feel tonight#slight projection and cicadas and stars? yep self indulgence babey#dex#william poindexter#check please#omgcheckplease#check please!#omgcp#omgcp fic#???
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wheres "i guess ill have to make it bad" i need it rn. im making it but its so bad rn. did you guys know art is hard or am i the only person who suffers in this way
#HELL ON FUCKING EART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#WHYD I HAVE TO REALIZE THE SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM I WAS HAVING WAS 'MAKE IT REALLY FUCKING DIFFICULT TO DRAW'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#FUCK!!!#anyways im doing art. if you couldnt tell. loud music save me#i vaguepost abt this stupid goddamn project so much... i want to actually show some of my work but i ABSOLUTELY-#-give into the 'talking about working on something feels like working on it' pitfall#so i cant actually talk about or show my work here bc ill just feel like im being productive when im not </3#plus its. cringe.#wildly self indulgent like you wouldnt even believe. but i will show it... when its done... in like months and months from now
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Julius being available in Chapter 12 changes a lot of course but I feel like Ludger would rely a little bit more on Julius being there with him. I can see the final decision when Ludger hesitates to kill Victor resulting in Julius killing Victor instead, for example.
But mostly I want Julius to be there for the sheer drama of Victor alluding to Claudia.
#v#x2#sadly i still have to contain this a lot bc it ends up taking too much away from elle#but i am also self indulgent and adore the thought of victor just. projecting every reason to hate prime julius#saying hes never cared for elle and always thought he knew better than what ludger(victor) wanted#(bonus points for victor implying julius’ desire for monopoly)#julius ofc says absolutely nothing bc as far as hes concerned it is all true.#we dont know what f41db julius was like. but prime julius would believe everything victor says. it sounds like something he would do#(he didnt do it. in the prime dimension. we know that. but 0.05 deviation. he probably considered it at least.)
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Hello! I see people here are talking about Gaza again.
I’m not one to vaguepost, nor do I usually spend time arguing with zionists and liberals online, but the amount of “pro-Palestine” liberals I’ve seen in the last day saying that Gazans “deserve genocide” because Trump won…
I’m not surprised to hear that democrats are mad at third-party voters. It’s true that even if all swing third-party votes went to Kamala she’d still have lost, but reality isn’t important to these people. Democrats want a monopoly - of course they’re upset at everyone who isn’t voting for their party. Of course they’re more upset with communists and anarchists than they are with nazis.
None of this is new. But even though we’ve seen these patterns before, I am absolutely sick to witness these people blaming Palestinians for this. I’m sick hearing them almost gleefully wishing for Gaza to be turned into a parking lot. I’m sick coming across individualistic little diatribes about how they’re “done” boycotting, “done” helping others.
Is it Palestinians’ fault that Kamala’s campaign was so poorly run?
Is it Palestinians’ fault that the US is now so full of nazis that the Democrats lost the popular vote for the first time since 2004, by 5 million votes?
Is it Palestinians’ fault that the US supplies and supports Israel in their annihilation of Gaza and other occupied Palestinian territories, as well as neighbouring countries?
Is it Palestinians’ fault that the government assisting Israel’s genocidal project was, for the past four years, Biden’s administration? A Democrat’s administration?
The crime that Palestinians have committed in the eyes of these liberals is the crime of existing where said liberals can see them - namely, on social media. The unofficial charges: not being silent, resisting, asking for help from the people best equipped to give money for their survival. So again, I’ll ask - is it the fault of Palestinians that the people best equipped to help them are those in the imperial core? That the people Palestinians must go to for help are people benefitting from both this genocide and the genocides the empires that house them are built on?
Of course the gravest offence is interrupting the liberal supply of white noise. Comfort is, after all, the biggest priority in liberalism - silence and denial is self care. Murder by proxy is the most popular of hobbies, and is best enjoyed with the sound off. But Palestinians are not quiet. You can see their faces now - and the identification of them as something other than faceless, or rather someone, begins to burrow through the insulation built up around you.
You have the barest sense of how fragile your world is. You can either turn away from this, or continue your journey towards the truth. These liberals are examples of those violently turning away and taking up the slaughter again, desperate to dispel any reminders that they are not the only people on earth worthy of life.
You can literally buy an indulgence now by donating to a Palestinian fundraiser. Yes, even if you’re not a Democrat, or you’re from Europe (chances are your government supplies Israel too, or is at least complacent), or there’s any other facet of your identity that supplies nuance. This is up to all of us, no matter who we are.
I’ve been spotlighting Falastin’s campaign to save her family in Gaza for more than two months now. I will continue to do so until they’re safe; but their safety will likely be a long time coming. This is in part because Falastin’s campaign must support 24 people, and in part because donations are slowing down - not only for Falastin, but for a lot of other fundraisers I keep an eye on. To be afraid for so many people while watching liberals angrily abandoning this cause is distressing and disheartening.
This is life or death. I don’t care who you are, and I care even less to hear if you’ve voted or who you voted for. All I ask is that you boost this post and, if you can, donate to Falastin. The Gofundme is in SEK and the rates are:
10$ = 107 SEK
25$ = 269 SEK
50$ = 538 SEK
100$ = 1,076 SEK
You can also donate via PayPal in USD: [LINK]
We also host a raffle for hand-made Palestinian thob [info HERE], and the first winner will be chosen in a bit less than 2 days.
P. S. Yes, Falastin’s campaign has been vetted, several times across multiple platforms:
#282 in El-Shab-Hussein and Nabulsi's spreadsheet [HERE],
#957 in the Butterfly Project spreadsheet [HERE]
Falastin's account: [LINK]
#falastin#gaza#palestine#yep another long post bc short ones do not get traction.#spent at least 5 hours on this
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the limit does not exist!
how spencer helps college!reader understand a little calculus and therefore understand how he loves her.
MDNI | smut word count: 1931 warnings & tags & stuff: fem reader, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), lil bit of overstim hehe, pure unbridled affection, LOVE, FLUFF, hugging, reader cries, this was in fact meant to be written for spence's birthday... sorry about that school is kicking my butt lets just pretend it's october! author's note: this one is for my folks who HATE their calculus class and want spencer reid to give them head instead <3 maybe this can help you romanticize it a bit. i think this is classified as self indulgent…like REALLY self indulgent… hah... anyway i hope you enjoy! let me know your thoughts if u have any, i loveeeee you!! have a great day my hands are shaking posting this smut is so scary!!!!!
You sat in bed, staring down your notebook, eyes narrowed. Limits stared back at you. You were just about at your own limit, if you were being honest.
Your brain, however sharp and witty it may be, is absolutely not one designed for calculus. A literary analysis essay? Done in half an hour. In depth scientific research project? Easiest months of your life. But there’s something about finding the instantaneous rate of change of a curve at one point in time by finding the slope of a tangent line that hasn't clicked yet.
A slew of other papers- notes, practice worksheets printed from obscure websites, and formulas- surround you, a sea of unfinished thoughts from the past month of the semester.
You bite on the end of your pen, the little hope you had for a good grade in this class slipping further and further away with each passing moment, like the last ember dying in the remains of a fire.
What you really wanted to be doing was celebrating Spencer’s birthday with him right now. A chocolate cake lay on the kitchen counter and pasta simmers on the stove, but you and your boyfriend had agreed to do a solid hour of work before the celebrations ensued.
You were never particularly strong willed when it came to following through on such agreements.
“Teach me calculus,” you say, a very impressive three minutes later, flopping down on the couch. Your head makes its way to its forever resting spot, Spencer’s lap. He raises his eyebrows slightly, thumb reaching out to trace over the slope of your nose. His eyes flit between you and the file to the side of him.
“I thought we agreed on an hour.”
“Yeah. But it wouldn’t be a very productive hour if I didn’t know how to do what I have to do. And I missed you.”
He sighs quietly, closing the file next to him.
“What do you not understand?” You smile at that, loving how quickly you won.
“Related rates. Like, conceptually.”
Spencer hums in response.
“It’s October. You’re not even supposed to know related rates yet.”
“Fine. Then let's open presents,” you respond, smiley. His eyebrows get impossibly higher, hand stroking your cheek delicately.
“No. I want our night to be a little more stress free when we celebrate, okay? How about you think about that lovely cake you made for me. What if I decided to squash it so that the diameter would get bigger, going from…let’s say, 20 centimeters to 26 centimeters in 3 seconds, and the height would get smal-”
“That wouldn't be nice. It took me like four hours,” you interrupt, grumbling. He cracks a smile.
“For the sake of the example, let's say I was an awful boyfriend and really wanted to ruin all the hard work you put in for me.”
You roll your eyes.
“Hey,” he says, hand moving down to touch your jaw softly. “Don’t do that. Don’t be difficult. I’m helping you.”
“Sorry. I guess I need you to zoom out a little. I don’t really get why I’m learning this as a whole.” Spencer’s eyes pore into yours, staring down at you adoringly for a small moment as he comes up with an answer.
“Calculus helps us begin to explain the unexplainable by harnessing what we can,” Spencer says simply. “Einstein once said that, ‘Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas,’ which makes it simple in practice, but I actually like to think about it as the opposite philosophically. Trying to find logic in the more poetic ideas.”
You cuddle deeper in his lap.
“Think he would agree with that?” you ask. “I do answer to Einstein before you, unfortunately.” Spencer bends down to kiss your hair.
“I think so. He also had a really nice quote where he remarked that, ‘Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.’ He said, ‘How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.’”
Spencer takes a deep breath.
“Math doesn’t explain how I love you. It can’t. But I love the fact that it tries to. It kinda makes you wanna learn it as best you can.”
You process that for a long second and nod. He keeps talking.
…
Presents get opened, and cake gets eaten before dinner. Of course.
You’re now in bed, on top of the covers, forcing Spencer to give you a fashion show of the new sweater vest and tie you got him. He turns to you after putting it on, and you beam.
“I really like it. You look great. Do you like it?” you ask. He nods, smiling back at you.
“I’m gonna wear it to work tomorrow.”
You beckon for Spencer to come closer, sitting up in bed. Your hands go out to the tie, tugging at the knot softly. He stares down at you until eventually interrupting your motions with a slow kiss, hands cupping your face.
“You’re so pretty,” he mutters.
He pulls away and finishes what you started, folding the tie neatly and setting it in the drawer. Then comes the vest, and soon enough, he’s just in his boxers.
“You’re the pretty one,” you say quietly. “Come to bed.” He crawls on next to you, tugging you into his arms. “Happy birthday, Spence. I love you.” He dips his forehead to your shoulder.
“I love you.”
Before you know it, he’s shifted on top of you, moving down. Fast. You blink, hard, trying to rid your head of the hazy endorphins as you register what he’s doing.
“What? No, I was gonna do that. It’s your birthday. You don’t have to,” you protest.
“But I really, really want to, darling girl,” he murmurs back, kissing your knee and softly pushing it to the side.
You fluster and Spencer just looks at you, fingers tracing shapes on your waist, waiting for you to be ready.
“Well. Um. Okay. If you insist. I can’t really deny the birthday boy.” Your voice is small, and a little giddy smile grows on your face. Of course Spencer Reid would want to give you head on his birthday.
He smiles a little against the bare skin of your hip where your top meets your shorts. Then he meets your eyes.
“You know you can, though, right?” he asks, voice a little more serious. You reach out to touch his hair softly.
“Yeah. I know.”
Fingers hook your shorts, gently pulling them down. He presses a kiss to your thigh, and then he suddenly looks down at it.
“Soft,” he murmurs, like he’s making a mental note. He presses another, and another, incrementally going closer and closer to your soaked through underwear. His eyebrows scrunch when he sees the wet spot. “All this from a few kisses?”
You blush, unable to respond.
Spencer’s fingers hook a centimeter of your underwear. “These?” he checks.
“Yes, please,” you manage. He tugs them down, silently noticing the slickness of your sex, and exhales shakily.
“How many times on average does it take for a guy to call you pretty on a given day before you get annoyed?” he murmurs, soft smile playing on his face. You smile too, head cloudy from his words, but it immediately drops when his lips press directly against your pulsing clit, kissing it softly.
“Fuck,” you say (Spencer would argue moan) softly (loudly). You let out a content sigh, and he moves to suckle it, actions becoming less and less delicate.
It’s not harsh, but incessant. Spencer knows what you can take. He knows exactly what you can take. You’re both quiet for a bit, save for your breathy moans.
“Spencer,” you say softly, ripping you both out of your individually hazy and dirty and distracted minds. “You’re too far away.” He looks up to you, face parallel to your aching core, hair beautifully messy and mouth glistening.
After a second, he grabs your hips, gently pushing you up against the pillows so you’re propped up at a better angle. He then shifts his body up wordlessly so he’s more above you, dipping his head down to give you a soft kiss. You taste yourself, tongue darting out to lick your lips.
His hand takes over where his mouth was, sliding in between your folds with a practiced ease. Spencer looks down at you, eyes wide and flitting between yours, searching for a reaction.
You reach out and wrap your arms around him, holding him close. “Holy shit, I love you,” you murmur.
His fingers lightly graze your clit again before one slides into you. “Angel,” he breathes out, so quietly. “I love you too. This okay? Are you okay?”
You nod feverishly and lift your hips to meet his hand, always in a perpetual state of wanting more, to be closer. Your bodies are melded so close together, barely giving him room to push his hand into you. He doesn’t even bother to ask you to use your words or keep your hips down, like he might on a regular night.
He pulls his head back to watch as he pushes another finger into you, stretching you just a little. “There we go. You always feel like heaven around me.”
Your eyes flit up to his face as he says those words, now having a little more room to observe him. You focus on the slope of his nose and curve of his mouth.
“You’re so perfect,” you say quietly, adoringly, before you even realize it was true.
You blink at that thought. Spencer Reid is perfect, despite whatever universal odds deeming that impossible.
Those graphs, those formulas, now laying discarded & crumpled on the ground. They click, a little bit. You understand why Albert Einstein wanted to spend his life developing theories of relativity.
This is how Spencer sees you? What he was talking about earlier?
This is how he sees you?
The thought is almost too much.
Spencer sees your face, and not knowing what's going on in your head, slides down his free hand from your cheek to your carotid, feeling your racing pulse. “Take a deep breath for me, okay? You're about to come, huh?”
You inhale and are met with peace. Then your orgasm hits you like a wave. You clench hard around his fingers, and he just watches it happen, fascinated. “Baby,” he coos softly at you.
It wasn’t just your sensitivity he’s currently maximizing on or the little kisses he dips down to leave on your neck that sealed the deal, but the very thought that you could be loved in a way that is so perfectly impossible.
You exhale breathily as Spencer pushes you through the last trails of your climax, fingers not caring one bit that you just had your world tilted on its axis.
“Spencer. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod,” you say eventually, overstimulated.
“You’re okay. Did so good.” he murmurs, fingers slipping out of you.
His thumb brushes your cheek, wiping away a tear you didn't even realize was dripping down.
“Don’t cry, you always cry. It’s my birthday. Don’t cry on my birthday,” he whispers soothingly, affection lacing his voice.
“I’m not.”
Another one falls.
You reach and press out that perpetual little slope between his eyebrows with your thumb, gentle, like you might break him. “I’m not crying.”
Spencer lets you lie.
#spencer reid#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#criminal minds#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfiction#fanfic#piper’s works
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Come to Mine


Pairing: idol!Yunho x backup dancer!reader
Genre: fluff and smut
Word count: 6.3k
Summary: You didn't plan for it to be this way. You just couldn't help being attracted to each other.
Warnings: smut, MDNI, oral (f receiving), fingering, penetration, safe sex (condom woo), it's very sweet and clumsy
A/n: This was such self indulgence, I hope you enjoy if you read <3 I can't believe the comeback is tonight! I hope everyone is having a good day <33 (sorry for any typos, I didn't feel like editing today)
Read it on ao3
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
You couldn't believe your eyes when you received the email.
Congratulations, you've been selected as one of the dancers for Ateez's upcoming comeback. Rehearsals start next Monday, August 2nd. Please look out for our next message, which will contain the full schedule with dates and locations. We look forward to working with you!
You'd worked with several other Kpop groups over the last few years. You'd actually made it as a dancer, much to the surprise of your family. You'd like to say you were surprised too, but in truth you weren't. You had felt it in your bones that this is what you were meant to do and would be doing, ever since you first watched a Girl's Generation MV on your shitty middle school laptop.
Working with Ateez felt like the absolute pinnacle. You were only several years in, but you knew from hearing the chatter, from watching their performances, that backup dancing for them was a true honor, and a challenge. You'd gone to the audition with an open mind, not riding on the fact that you'd be selected. They told you all they wanted twelve girls total, a smaller number than you'd expected. And most of the girls you went with were more experienced, or had major connections within the industry, so it really was a shock to you that you were selected. It made your whole body buzz, your confidence skyrocketing. If they believed you could hang with the best of the best, you'd do everything you could to prove them right.
Sitting on the hardwood floor at the end of your first rehearsal, it all just felt right. The group was working together so well already; most of these girls you'd danced with before, and you realized looking around that if you'd ever had the chance to select a dance team yourself, you would have made almost the same selections they did. Everyone was a dance nerd, a true artist, focused, dedicated. Everyone took good care of themselves, was smart, driven, and so hardworking. You all spoke amongst yourselves after rehearsal, anticipating your first rehearsal with the boys, wondering what they'd really be like in person. You'd all followed them closely for years, and were all big fans. You couldn't not be, given just how talented they were, just how dedicated to their craft, the same way you were. But you all vowed to be as respectful as possible, and keep the giggling and ogling to yourselves when the time came.
It was comeback season for them, their schedules incredibly full. The next album was almost entirely finished already though, and you had no doubt they were already beginning work on songs that would make future albums too. It was still six months until the comeback you'd be performing in, the time feeling indescribably far away. Many of the other girls, like you, still had smaller projects to work on in the meantime. This was the beginning of a long journey, one that would begin slowly. It was high pressure, you could feel it. You needed your absolute best to show here, for the sake of your career.
You'd never have guessed how it would feel finally meeting them all.
Sweaty and exhausted, they all came in after their final music show performance. They'd been up since the early hours of the morning to film, and now it was closer to midday. You'd slept in, spending the morning stretching and readying your body for this important rehearsal. In hindsight you hadn't needed to, the first day with the members being more of a meeting, followed by an attempt to brainstorm what formations would be possible with the twenty of you. Then you each had to introduce yourselves, going down the line of twelve, each repeating your names and where you were from.
After saying your name, after bowing, your eyes caught on Yunho's. And in that moment you knew it was all over.
All you could think was, 'fuck, I don't need this.' Truly, you didn't. There was too much else to focus on. Life had been hectic for so many reasons, but now you were just trying to focus on being present, there for your friends and family, focused on your work. You'd been single for almost two years now, and it had been the best time of your life. The time with your friends had been beautiful, fulfilling, peaceful. The success you'd had with dancing had been all you could have dreamed of. But you knew in that moment that something was about to change, something you doubted you could put any stop to. It felt written in the stars, like it was meant to happen. It had to. You could tell.
He'd noticed you right away. You were the shortest of the girls selected; they'd skewed more towards choosing taller girls, so that the height differences wouldn't be too severe. You weren't tiny, but still he'd noticed right away that you were shorter than everyone else. Your big glasses, your messy wavy hair, your baggy sweat pants. You stood out amongst the rest of the girls, but not because you were flashy. You were almost too relaxed in your appearance. He loved it instantly. And he could tell it affected you when he looked your way, your eyes darting fast to the floor when he pierced you with his gaze.
He watched you intently over the next few rehearsals, seeing immediately how talented you were. You picked up everything with such ease; but you weren't cocky, weren't throwing it in anyone's face. You helped other girls when they needed it, and you spoke up when an instruction wasn't clear, helping the main choreographer realize their mistake. You were quiet, mostly, except when you needed to be loud. You seemed so put together, almost boringly so. Some of the other girls were chaotic, which made the boys or other dancers gossip. But as Yunho listened to it all he realized none of them really mentioned you. From the outside in you seemed unassuming, and he knew people thought the same thing about him. So he knew that just like him, there was something more under the surface. Something juicier, freakier, stranger. Every time he looked you right in the eyes, the few times you'd let him, he could see it written in your pupils. And the way you always looked way, like you'd just had the wind knocked out of you, made him think he was probably right.
It really didn't help that he was such a good dancer, so confident and technically gifted, with a certain quality to his movement that you could not put into words. You became mesmerized from the first moment you saw it in person. You'd been impressed with his dancing abilities for a while, but seeing it in person in front of you, seeing his massive tall body move with a level of control that should not have been possible, had you completely entranced. You couldn't help the giddiness you felt when heading to work, the excited texts sent to your best friend. Your crush was forming fast, threatening to inflate inside of you and make you float away. He was all you could think about when you laid in bed at night, awaiting the next time you'd get to be in his presence, and say the few words you did to each other.
Then one day, it changed.
"Y/n, could I go over the middle section with you?"
His voice came from behind you, as you carefully retied your shoes during a break in rehearsal.
"With me?" you asked, turning around to find him standing behind you.
"Yeah, I've been watching everyone in the mirror and you seem to know that section best. I missed that rehearsal where we first learned it, so I think I'm missing the timing a bit." He reached out a hand to help you up, and you took it automatically, the touch between you sending adrenaline through your heart and making you shiver.
"I think you've been doing it just fine. What part is confusing?" you asked.
"I'm wondering when the arms come up, when we're turning around. Is it on one, or the and of one?"
"It's on the and. Here, do you want to do it slowly together?" You couldn't believe the words were tumbling out of your mouth, so naturally from your years of helping assist dance classes at your high school.
"Yeah, that'd be great," Yunho replied, getting in position beside you. You began counting slowly, you both dancing crudely through the counts, reaching the confusing section with hesitation. "See, one and," you threw your arms up, spinning around and turning your back to the mirror, your hands coming out beside you. "They're not back down until the and of 2."
"Ah, that makes sense. So they're delayed compared to the shifting of our feet there," he said, and you nodded in agreement, watching him step through the moves himself, flawlessly.
"Yeah, that's perfect," you smiled at him.
"Thank you, that was really helpful. I'm worried I'm messing things up cause I missed that rehearsal," he smiled back, arms locked behind his back. It looked like he was nervous, to you, which endeared you even more to him.
"Your dancing looks perfect to me," you said, standing still and awkward, your nervousness also showing.
You both stood staring at each other, and this time you didn't flick your eyes away. It all felt like things were clicking into place, and any feeling you had to resist this little thing was all gone. Not that there really was much to begin with. But you were nervous at first, so unsure of his interest. You couldn't bring yourself to assume that someone like him would want to be friends with someone like you. You had to wait for the confirmation from him.
Easy conversation followed the next few rehearsals. Talking about the choreography was always an easy in, and Yunho took to using it as much as he pleased. He complimented your dance skills more than you thought he should, because you worried the other dancers would find it strange or have something to say about it. But no one said a word to you. You felt this thing happening, the two of you magnets pulled together, but it seemed like no one around you had any clue. It was normal enough for him to want to talk to a dancer about the routine, and so what if in those conversations things turned more personal, more jokey, more flirtatious. He complimented your glasses early on, you remember that, and it stuck with you for weeks. You couldn't get it out of your head, the way his head tilted to the side when he said it. His tone of voice, the look in his eye.
Then there was the rehearsal in the gymnasium. You were all sectioned off, the main focus of the day being how the background sets for the MV would fit around the group of you dancing. The director was there, talking with all of ateez and the head choreographer, as they all stood around on the floor. The rest of you were told to wait in the stands, as they set the exact measurements of the set pieces, needing you all on stand-by at a moments notice. It was times like this you realized just how big the budget they had was; they were paying you all to be here today, even though most of the day you spent just sitting there, your fellow dancer sitting next to you almost falling asleep on your shoulder three separate times.
He saw you as soon as you came in, your hair up in a messy bun, your hoodie swallowing you. Your socks didn't match, your shoe laces partially untied. You pushed your glasses up your nose as you stepped inside, nearly bumping into the girl in front of you. Unassuming. Clumsy. For some reason, everything he wanted.
He craned his neck to watch you sit down, waving when you finally looked in his direction. You waved back, the sleeve of your hoodie pulled over your hand. He stood amongst his members, wishing he could somehow say something to you. Everyone was discussing the slight differences in the placement of something, but he'd stopped listening as soon as he saw you enter, so he really wasn't sure what it was. He reached for his phone, wanting to shoot you off a quick text. But then he remembered, the managers had taken them today so the boys would be focused. Also, he still didn't have your number. He knew he needed to remedy that problem as quickly as he could.
You zoned out for a moment, everyone around you buried deep in their phones as soon as they realized they'd be stuck in the bleachers for a bit. But it didn't take long for your gaze to sweep back down, settling on the person you couldn't keep your mind off of. You were met with a surprise, holding a hand over your mouth to keep yourself from laughing.
Yunho was holding up a piece of paper in your direction, the word HI written in big bold letters. You weren't even sure where he got the paper from, much less the marker, but god did it make your heart constrict. How fucking adorable, how totally and completely cheesy. You were like Taylor Swift and her crush in 'You Belong With Me,' holding out written signs to each other and reading them through the window. Well, you could have been, if you had any paper of your own. You smiled, his action absolutely heartwarming, but you couldn't help feeling terribly disappointed that you couldn't reciprocate the gesture. That was until you remembered the back of your hoodie had the word HELLO written across it, right above the smiling sunflower. You held your hand out to him, beckoning him to wait a moment, as you turned and lifted up the hood to make sure he could see the white letters, that you hoped contrasted enough against the blue fabric that he could see them from so far away.
You turned to find him smiling, his shoulders jumping for a moment like he was laughing. It was just far enough away that you couldn't hear well, so you had no idea if he really was. The moment passed, and your heart was beating remarkably fast, but yet again it seemed like no one around you noticed. You blinked around, looking over your shoulder at your fellow dancers. Right then it hit you, that maybe you shouldn't be so openly doing this, whatever this was. You'd been warned time and time again that being involved with an idol was bad news, that plenty of dancers had done it and payed the price. One of your favorite fellow dancers had dated an idol, and you'd heard her horror story before over drinks one night. You knew people had complicated feelings on the subject.
But you also knew your own feelings weren't so complicated, at least when it came to him. Finally you all were beckoned down to the floor, the sets put in place. You all danced in front of them, the director trying out his camera movements, asking you to repeat certain sections so he could try different angles, see how the composition would look with so many bodies in the shot. You'd said hello to each other when you came down, but quickly you had to get to work, everyone's focus held on your dancing. It wasn't until you all wrapped up for the day that he said anything else.
"Hey, I've been meaning to get your number so we can text if we need to, like today," he said. Your stomach dropped; you couldn't believe the words you were hearing. Was he really asking for your number, here in front of everyone?
"Yeah, that would be great," you smiled, waiting for him to pull out his phone and hand it to you.
"My manager has my phone, do you have yours?" he asked.
"Uh, it's up in stands with the rest of my stuff. I'll have to go grab it," you responded, smiling apologetically.
"Yeah, no worries-"
"Everyone we need to clear out, we're supposed to be gone in five minutes! Let's get going!" the lead choreographer cut him off, calling out to the whole room.
"Yunho, I've got your bag, and the car is out front, we need to leave now," his manager came running up, placing a hand on his shoulder. You didn't know where he was headed, but it was probably another rehearsal, or interview, or photoshoot. One of the thousands of things they all had scheduled every week.
In the chaos you scrambled up the stairs, grabbing your stuff before dashing out the door, not wanting to get in trouble. Yunho waved to you from the car, it pulling away as soon as you exited the building and started your walk to the subway station. It had all happened so fast, and you hoped he didn't think that you'd forgotten. His question stuck in your mind over the next three days, until you had rehearsal again. And that time you walked in with your phone already open, pulled up to a new contact entry. You didn't even greet him that day; you just placed your phone in his hands, and looked up at him with big eyes. He blinked a moment, but it wasn't hard for him to know what you were asking. He put in his number, handing the phone back to you, and you sent off your first text of many.
🌸: hello :)
You waited that night after rehearsal, meeting up with your best friend for dinner. You could just feel it again, you knew he'd say something, if you had just a little patience.
🐶: I hope rehearsal didn't kill you today. They really didn't give you guys any breaks :(
Immediately you squealed, shoving your phone into your friend's face.
"How cute, he's so concerned for you," she laughed, poking your cheek.
"I can't believe he already texted," you sighed, grabbing another bite.
"He obviously likes you," she said, making your mind spin.
"Don't say that, you're getting my hopes up," you replied, shaking your head.
"Why else would he ask for your number?" she asked.
"To talk to me about work stuff, dance stuff, I don't know?" you replied.
"Did he ask for anyone else's number?" she asked.
"I don't know, he could have," you said, raising your shoulders.
"I doubt it," she smiled. "Look at you, you've caught yourself an idol. Better be careful, my girl," she joked, finishing off her drink.
"I wonder if this is a bad idea," you pondered, staring off into space and letting your mind wander.
"Don't overthink it. How often do you come across people you like? If he likes you too, you should go for it. You don't have any reason to hold yourself back from this. I mean, be careful of course. I don't want any death threats coming your way," she chuckled, reaching over the table and grabbing your hand. "Connecting with another person is a special thing, and it sounds like you two really have. Don't under sell that."
You left the restaurant and wandered home, a warm feeling in your chest. Hugging your friend goodbye you thanked her, so grateful to have someone you know you can tell anything to. As soon as you made it home, you pulled out your phone and responded to him.
🌸: It was fine, I just got very sweaty. my hair was a frizzy mess 🐶: you still looked so pretty 🌸: you are very sweet to me 🌸: why is that 🐶: I like you, that's why 🌸: you like me? 🐶: I want to see you outside of work 🌸: I want that too
Your breath caught in your throat. It was everything you could have hoped to hear and more.
🌸: how can we do that tho 🐶: we'll find a way 🌸: you could come to my place. it's very small. I live alone
He could have guessed that was the case. You never mentioned having roommates, or parents, or anyone else you lived with in the brief conversations you'd had.
🐶: can I come this Saturday? 🌸: okay :) 🐶: are you sure? 🌸: be here at 7 🐶: will do
You had two days of filming for a different group's music video, a huge group dance with nearly fifty dancers. You be finishing it up Saturday morning, and hoped that things ran on time. You wanted to have the time to get yourself ready, take a shower, pick out your clothes. Even though you'd just be at home, surely just lounging around. You wanted to wear your favorite sweats, and the black tank top you had that sat perfectly over your figure. You two wouldn't be going on dinner dates out, or to the bar for drinks, or to the cafe or farmer's market or any other place where Yunho could be spotted. He didn't have to explain that to you; you'd worked in this industry long enough to understand. He'd have to do everything he could to avoid being seen entering your building. If this did become a romance, it would be one conducted in the privacy of bedrooms, apartments, hotels. You couldn't walk out on the street holding hands, or even just walk down the street side by side. But then you reminded yourself of the if. You still didn't know what he wanted, exactly. You'd still never been in the same room just the two of you. The nerves gnawed at you as you showered, as you carefully set out the clothes you would wear as you dried your hair. You'd wear no bra with your tank top, you decided, and you'd wear your favorite bikini cut black underwear. You didn't like lacy thongs, you didn't like most women's clothing period. But you wanted to feel sexy when he arrived, wanted it to be clear to him what you were after.
🐶: I'm heading out now, I should be there in 17 minutes, according to google maps 🌸: see you soon :)
Your adrenaline surged, your body sweating despite the cool temperature of your tiny apartment. You scrambled around, cleaning every surface one time over again, making sure your dirty clothes were tucked away in your closet and not strewn about anywhere. You gave yourself a final look in the mirror, your glasses looking comically huge on your face. Your hair was a mess, but it always was. You'd never learned how to properly take care of your waves. The black tank top looked as good as you'd hoped though, so you shrugged. It was good enough.
You'd only sat on your couch for about thirty seconds when the doorbell rang, and you physically jumped. Opening your door you found him in a loose button up shirt, casual baggy pants, a baseball cap covering his nut brown hair, and a mask.
"Hi, come in," you said, your heart beating faster than it did even during your most difficult dance numbers.
"Thank you," he said, stepping inside, his jacket held over his arm. He pulled off his mask, folding it and shoving it in his pocket.
"Would you like some water?" you asked, awkwardly. You didn't know what to say, the two of you standing feet apart in your tiny living room.
"Sure, that'd be great," he said, looking around, taking everything in.
"You can sit on my couch, or on the floor, if you'd like. Sorry there aren't more options, my apartment is tiny," you said as you filled his glass. You decided to fill one for yourself, realizing now that you'd completely forgotten to eat dinner or drink any water this afternoon because of your nerves.
"It's perfect. I really like it," he said, sitting himself down cross legged on the floor, on the small rug that surrounded your coffee table. It was the only table you had here, the one you always ate your meals at. "Is this the rug you always lay on at night?" he asked as you came and set his water in front of him.
"Oh, no, that one's in my room," you smiled, sitting opposite him on your couch, cross legged too.
"I was gonna say, this is pretty small for laying on," he laughed.
"My other one is small too, I guess," you laugh in response.
"Can I see it?" His eyes have a mischievous glint to them as they meet yours.
"Sure," you say, smirking back at him. You're trying to put on a confident front, because you swear you keep seeing his eyes trail down your body hungrily, but as soon as you start walking towards your room your legs are shaky. Yunho reaches out and grabs your shoulder from behind, steadying you for a moment.
"You okay?" he asks.
"Yeah, just tired. Filming ran long this morning, we had to go over this one section like fifty times. I'm gonna be so sore tomorrow," you say.
"Do you have a foam roller? It's helps me a lot when my legs are cramping up on me," he says, as you open your bedroom door, revealing the tiny room to him. It only has room for your full bed, your dresser shoved into your closet.
"I should really get one," you say, turning to face him. "There's the rug," you smile, watching intently to see his reaction.
"That's the one you lay on every night?" he asks. You nod your head, chuckling. "That's even smaller than the one out there," he laughs, pointing in the direction of your living room.
"I wonder if you'd even fit," you laugh, looking down at the small strip of floor that isn't taken up by your bed frame.
"Let me try," he says, kicking off his shoes and setting them on your shoe rack outside your door. He crouches down, settling himself on his side, his legs bent up to make it possible for him to fit.
"Wow, so comfortable," he quips, sarcastically.
"It is if you're my size," you pout, looking down at him with your arms crossed.
"You really lay here every night before bed?" he asks.
"It's my favorite spot in the world," you nod.
"You think we could both fit?" he asks, pulling off his hat and tossing it on your bed, holding out an arm to you.
"Maybe..." you trail off, stepping over towards him, carefully setting yourself down in front of him. You're on you side too, your face maybe a foot from his, your back shoved up against your closet door. You stare into each other's eyes, still not having touched, the whole scene potentially still friendly and innocent.
A yawn hits you, a wave of exhaustion washing over your whole body. You really should have remembered to eat a good meal before this.
"Tired?" Yunho asks, you his eyes not leaving yours.
"I guess so. Sorry for yawning," you say.
"Am I boring you?" he jokes.
"No, not at all," you shake your head, smiling back at him. And then you both just stare, a good minute passing, your heart racing and racing in your chest, your body aching for something, anything.
"Can I kiss you now?" he asks, but still doesn't move. So you do instead, pulling yourself closer to him, your legs entangling as your lips finally meet, the first moments of the kiss awkward and stilted in that way it always is with a new person. But soon enough you've found each other's rhythm; you can tell he likes sucking on your bottom lip, and likes it when you open your mouth and let out those breathy moans, allowing him to dive his tongue inside, feeling over the plush softness of your tongue. It's heated so quickly, your arms desperately grabbing at each other, a sexual excitement awakened in you in a way it hadn't been in so many years. You got lost in it; you couldn't have even remembered your own name in that moment, because all you knew was his mouth and his hands, his tongue on your neck, the way your clit felt rubbing hard against his thigh, your climax reaching you so fast you don't even realize it until your hands are cramping up. They do that when you're too stimulated, when your whole nervous system has too much input and can't process it all. He senses a change in you, pulling back to see you holding your hands, trying desperately to calm the spasming muscles.
"What's wrong?" he asks, gently holding your hands in his own.
"It just happens sometimes, when I come," you whisper into the cool air of your bedroom. "My hands lock up like this." You start to giggle, a blush creeping over your face at the look he's giving you.
"You came?"
"Yeah, I know, I'm insanely sensitive," you laugh, still rubbing at your hands.
"Fuck," he groans, shaking his head back and forth, and you laugh again at how affected he is. "Are your hands going to be okay?"
"Yeah, just give them a moment. They'll be fine," you say, putting your face up to his again, your lips connecting and fire shooting through you once again.
Before you know it he's on top of you, kissing you hard, his hands snaking underneath your top to feel over your hard nipples, grabbing hungrily at your body. "Can I taste you?" he whispers through ragged breaths, and you nod into him, whispering yes on his lips. He moves down, pulling at the waistband of your sweatpants, and you lips your hips to help him. When he grabs at your panties he drags them off slowly, shoving them in the pocket of his jeans, moving his mouth down your thighs and licking up to your core. He swipes his tongue up your slit slowly, giving firm pressure to his movement, making you moan and arch your back in response, your knees falling wide and hitting the wall and bed you're caged between. Yunho hums at the taste of you, the heady sweetness better than he could have even imagined, his tongue swiping again and again up your entire slit, taking in as much of you as he can.
"Fuck you taste good," he whispers, before attaching his lips to your clit, sucking gently and making you squirm, your knees jumping up to cage in his head. Then he's adding a finger, and then another, slowly pumping them into you while he keeps sucking on your sensitive bud, ripping another orgasm out of you in seconds. He keeps touching you through your after shocks, making your moans high pitched and sharp as you feel overstimulated, but then as he keeps going you slip back into pleasure, and another orgasm builds faster than the first.
"Fuck, fuck," you scream, your hand in his hair, snaking through and grabbing hard onto it. It makes Yunho moan, the vibrations radiating through your core and sending you over the edge once again, your pussy fluttering around his fingers. This time you push him up, your body wracked from coming so hard and fast.
"You can come multiple times," he states, his lips and chin glistening from your slick. You just nod coyly, breathing hard, trying to regain your sanity as he moves on top of you again, kissing you hard. You moan at the taste of yourself, and at the way he's smothering you so entirely. "You like how you taste?" he asks, smiling into you as you nod your head yes, your lips not able to leave each other for more than a few seconds.
"Can I fuck you?" he asks into your ear, his low voice shuddering through you.
"Please," you whisper, grabbing at his pants to help push them down, laughing as he tries to stand and bumps his head on the door handle to your closet.
"Fuck," he mutters under his breath, holding his head for a moment, scrambling still to pull of his pants and finally get to what he's wanted all night. "You're making me so desperate that I'm hurting myself," he jokes, slipping a condom over himself with finesse, finally collapsing back onto you, rubbing his hard dick up and down your slit, attaching his lips to yours once again. Slowly he pushes in, testing the waters, watching your face as he stretches you out. He's loving your reaction, the way that just him putting his cock in you is making you so overwhelmed with feelings and pleasure.
"You're so big," you cry into his shoulder, grasping onto him for dear life.
"I know," he chuckles, his face in your hair, taking in the scent of you.
"Shut up," you giggle, hitting his shoulder playfully, holding back a moan from ripping out of you. He's just barely bottomed out, holding tight onto your hips to anchor himself.
"You okay?" he whispers, placing gentle kisses on your forehead temple, keeping himself still until you give him the okay. You nod against him, your face still buried in his shoulder, holding him to you.
"Please move Yunho," you beg, your body needing more from him now, even if the stretch is hurting. He slowly pulls himself out, pushing back in with care, the wet sounds loud and embarrassing. You're so wet it's starting to drip down your leg, and he slides in so easily, even though you're tight against him.
"Does that feel good?" he asks you, setting a slow pace, watching your body intently. You babble and nod against him, and he picks his pace up, hitting something so deep inside of you that it makes you head fly back against the ground again. Thankfully your rug is there on the floor, but it isn't the thickest, and the actions till hurts.
"Ow," you mutter, your eyebrows scrunching up in pain.
"Careful, careful," he coos, grabbing the back of your head in his large palm, slowing his movements. "Why are we on the floor when your bed is right there?"
You chuckle, blinking up at him with blown pupils, your walls still clenching hard around him.
"Let's move up there," he smiles, slowly pulling out of you, standing gingerly and helping you up carefully, too. You pull at his shirt, unbuttoning some of his buttons, making him pull if off over his head. He's completely revealed to you now, and he grabs at your top too, pulling it over your head and throwing it over the side of the bed.
"Your head okay?" he asks, moving on top of you again, cradling it in his hand.
"Yeah, it's okay," you laugh, staring up at him. "How's yours?"
"It's fine," he chuckles, kissing you deeply and grabbing at you, unable to stop himself. "You're driving me crazy," he whispers, and in a moment he's sheathed himself inside of you again, resting your head against your pillows as he starts fucking you hard, his mouth on yours as your tongues swirl around each other's mouths. He's hitting that spot inside you again, over and over sending waves of pleasure through your abdomen. You feel like you're being split open, like your entire body is filled by him, by everything he's meaning to you. The care, the attention, the perfect angle of his hips as they snap against yours, has your mind floating on a cloud of pure joy. God, it's never felt this good, and you don't want it to stop, don't ever want this feeling to end. You know you're stuck now, you're addicted, you've had one taste of him and you'll never want anyone else.
"Yunho," you whine against his lips, as you feel another orgasm building.
"Fuck, don't say my name like that, you're gonna make me come," he groans, lifting his head up to deepen his angle even further, fucking you even harder. "Are you close?" he asks, and you whimper in response, moaning high pitched and holding tight onto his biceps. "You're so fucking perfect," he says, his upper body falling down on top of yours again, as he holds you close. You come, the warmth and safety his body is giving you making you release, every part of your being comforted by the man above you.
"Yes, fuck that feels good," he groans into your ear, feeling the way you're squeezing so hard down onto him, your moans like screams again, stroking his ego in such an addicting way. "I'm never gonna get enough of you," he groans, finally releasing his load, his orgasm washing over him hard as his hips stutter, his face scrunching up in pleasure as he finally comes. He collapses on top of you, holding you close as you both come down from your highs, your breaths hard and fast and totally in sync.
"You're amazing," he mumbles, stroking a hand through your hair.
"No, you're amazing," you giggle, your head floaty and calm in your post orgasmic state. You poke his side, giggling into him when his body jumps.
"Don't you dare do that right now," he grumbles, tickling you back and twice as hard, making you shriek and laugh beneath him.
You stay cuddled up all night, not able to sleep cause you keep kissing, Yunho's large warm body making you feel safe in a way you didn't know you were missing.
"I should have taken these off before I fucked you," he laughs as he pulls off your glasses, placing them gingerly on your side table.
"Eh, it's okay," you laugh, snuggling into him closer. "They're always on, I'm used to it. I keep them on even when I dance most of the time, which is weird."
"I noticed," he said. "They're so fucking cute."
"You really like them?"
"Y/n, you're fucking perfect. Every thing about you."
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I like to draw a lot and lately I've been having a hard time finding references for a new project I'm working on.
I ask you if you wanna come over and let me take some pictures of you to use as reference, we can hang out and it'll be fun. You agree, happy to help your friend and have an excuse to hang out.
You come over and I ask you to do a few simple action poses. Nothing crazy. But then I point out the fact that your clothes are kinda baggy, so it'll be hard for me to understand your anatomy beneath them. I ask if you'd be willing to just wear your binder and boxers, and I promise these photos will only be seen by me. You agree again, because you know I won't share them, and we're both trans guys, so it's alright, right?
The poses get a bit more ... specific. I ask you to get on all fours. To lay on your back and stomach. To sit with your legs spread. Poses that are definitely meant to be provocative.
I finally tell you what the project is for. I'm drawing a lot of self-indulgent trans guy porn and want to make a short comic about it. I say that the most difficult thing to get references for is t guys with their pussy visible. So if you really wanted to be helpful, you could take your boxers off and let me see everything.
You agree. You kick your boxers off, and I continue making you pose in all sorts of ways that now feel outright humiliating. Sit on your ass and hold your legs open with your hands. Get on your hands and knees face down, ass up, and really put your ass up high. Lay like you're about to get fucked missionary style. Press yourself against the wall and spread your legs wide. Let me get a few up close pictures of you spreading your hole as wide as you can.
And despite how embarrassing this is, that I'm just your friend asking for a favor, you're getting wet. Really fucking wet. It only makes you even more embarrassed and you wonder if I notice it, because if I am, I'm not saying anything.
But I absolutely notice it. Its hard not to, when your pussy is literally fucking glistening in the light. I want to touch it so fucking bad its taking every last ounce of self restraint in me to not just start playing with you. I think of any excuse I can make up to touch you.
Finally I get my chance. You're in a pose where you can't reach your pussy very well to spread it open, so I use my fingers to spread it open myself.
"Holy shit, you're really wet right now. Are you wet like this all the time?" I finally ask, my fingers gently rubbing around your hole. It's actually a little shocking to me just how wet it feels.
You shake your head. Obviously, you're probably not gonna constantly be dripping, but I just wanted to make you say it.
"Why are you so wet right now, then? Is it because... of what we're doing?"
Slowly, you nod, feeling more embarrassed than you have this whole time.
"Huh. I didn't know my friend was such an exhibitionist slut." I say, fingers teasing up and down your cunt. Your entire body trembles and you let out a whine, unable to even formulate an answer right now.
I tease my fingers right around your hole. Pressing in just a slight bit. Pressing more and more until two of my fingers finally push inside your cunt, sliding deeper till they’re fully inside. “Sorry, I would’ve asked if I could penetrate you, but… I mean, its pretty obvious that’s what you want.”
My fingers sliding in and out of your hole faster till im fingerfucking you. My other hand coming up to gently pinch and pull at your clit, all thick and fat from T. You whine and grind down against my fingers. I flick your clit a few more time with my fingers before finally rubbing it in earnest like you so clearly need.
“I’ll let you cum, as long as you let me shove a dildo up your cunt later and take pictures of it. I need some good references of a little bitch getting fucked.”
You don’t just agree- you outright beg me to take all the pictures I want, just so you can cum.
“And its good jerk off material for me, too. Hope you don’t get too mad at me if I ‘accidentally’ take a few videos of it too.”
I slap your cunt with my hand, the noise wet and loud and filthy, before going back to rubbing your clit just how you love it being touched. Your entire body trembles at how turned on you are, how good you feel, and suddenly your orgasm is rushing through you, making your hips jerk, cunt clench around my fingers, as all you can do is let it take you. I keep fingerfucking you and rubbing you through your orgasm, not stopping till you seem coherent again.
“That’s a good fucking bitch.” I say, pulling out my fingers and licking them clean. I give your ass a firm slap as you collapse to the ground in exhaustion.
I take a quick picture of you like this, looking sated and well-fucked. “You’re the best model a guy could ask for. Now let me see your hole, I wanna capture the way it looks all stretched out right now.”
#ftm nsft#ftm dom#ftm breeding#ftm sub#this is lowkey not a joke because i actually have been drawing a lot of trans guy nsft stuff lately#And finding refs of t guy nsft is a bit difficult#i would definitely do this if i had a friend irl willing lol#this ended up way longer than i intended oops...#conceptionacception
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that’s a wrap 🎬 ; vi (arcane)
a behind the senes arcane modern au ! (bcs wtf was that ending)
note : this fic (like all of my other ones) are a bit (a lot actually) self indulgent. this will also be in a third person’s point of view because i’m trying to get used (and get better) writing in a 3rd person’s pov. this is also lowkey a vi x reader *sighs*, i just love my gf so bad ya’ll.
p.s. the character names are also their names in ‘real life’ (because i said so).
cw : spoilers for arcane act 3, swearing,
unedited & not proofread

ever since she got her dream role as one of the leading cast in arcane, she started filming bits and pieces of how the show came to life (with the consent of everyone involved of course). since the filming of season 1 up to season 2 act three, (name) has compiled an hour worth of uncut behind the scenes content that she and the cast planned on releasing during the opening premiere for the last act of arcane.
“you ready shortcake?” (name)’s girlfriend called out, just as she finished putting a thin sheet of lipgloss on her lips. “almost done violet,” she called out, putting her shoes one.
(name) took one last look at herself in the full body mirror, admiring her hard work. she wore a dark red dress paired with sheer black elbow length gloves, and black platform heels with red accents (that violet gifted you a couple months ago).
after shoving her phone inside a red clutch, (name)’s bedroom door opened. violet stood in front of her. she wore a two-piece suit with a dark red button-up blouse tucked inside her pants, the first couple of buttons of the blouse were undone, and her hair (at least the ones on the side of her head that wasn’t shaved) was in a messy slick back.
“absolutely gorgeous,” vi whispered under her breath. she walked towards (name), she placed her hands on her girlfriend’s hips before leaning down to kiss her. “flatterer,” (name) giggled as she pressed a finger against vi’s lips, preventing vi from kissing her.
vi nipped at her girlfriend’s gloved finger, “i speak the truth, and nothing but the truth.” she whispered.
(name) hummed, smiling lovingly as her girlfriend. “thank you baby, you look amazing yourself. hot even.”
a loud noise came from (name) and vi’s phone, interrupting their moment.
“we need to go violet, it’s almost time for the premiere.” (name) exclaimed excitedly, breaking away from her girlfriend. she held onto vi’s arm and practically dragged her outside.
“i don’t get a kiss before we go?” vi pouted, (name) rolled her eyes before pressing a quick peck on vi’s lips then proceeded to get inside the passenger seat of her girlfriend’s car. vi sighed, shaking her head before she went inside the driver seat and thinking how she’d make you pay later for not giving her a proper kiss.
ꕀ
let’s just say that everyone was bawling after premiering the last three episodes of arcane. (name) sat in between vi and her sister powder (whose head was resting against ekko’s shoulder) practically vibrating with excitement as the producers went on stage to thank everyone, especially the fans, for coming to the premiere.
it was almost time to present the special behind the scenes video (name) made. everyone knew of the special little project but no one has really seen it, not the director, the producers, or even her loving girlfriend. soon enough, she was called on stage for a little speech and to present the video.
“hi everyone,” she started, voice shaking a bit. “first of all i would like to thank you for coming to tonight’s premiere. it’s been an honor to work with you for the past couple of years. as you all know, i’ve been compiling tons of little snippets of us ever since the production of arcane has started. all in all, i’ve collected an hour’s worth of behind the scenes content. since i didn’t want to keep all of us in here for another hour or so i’ve edited the video and out came the 10 minute behind the scenes compilation that i’m about to play. but don’t worry, i’ve already uploaded the original uncut version to the shared online album for everyone to view.”
a series of murmurs and giggles filled the audience as (name) gave herself a second to pause. “anyways,” you cleared your throat. “without further ado, i present, arcane : behind all the heartbreak and drama, enjoy!”
when (name) sat down next to her girlfriend, the video started rolling.
ꕀ
scene one.
the camera unfocused and focused as a young looking (name) had her face up to close to it’s lens. she had a cheeky smile on her face.
“hi guys! it’s (name) and today is the first day of filming arcane!” she then proceeded to flip the camera and did a little trailer tour. she the went outside where she introduced everyone in the cast as well as the director and producers.
scene two.
the video cuts to what seems to be the scene where the battle between silco and vander happened. (name) shows the audience the set, some of the special effects, and had the actresses for young vi and powder do a little question and answer for her.
“hey girls!” she called out. the two children ran towards her, giddy smiles on their faces. it was right after filming the scene of vi and powder’s falling out, when vi called powder a jinx.
“how does the nose feel?” (name) asked, gingerly touching child powder’s nose that hade fake blood dripping from it. the child shrugged, replying “i’ve had worse. she punches like a little girl.” which made the tween who played young vi roll her eyes.
“that’s a bunch of bull! she cried actual tears, like real tears! she totally wasn’t acting”
(name) sighed and left the two children to playfully argue before the camera cuts to vander and silco. the two men were taking a nap on the side of the set, both had their arms crossed and head leaning against the wall. “they truly are brother,” she spoke into the camera.
the scene cuts again, this time (name) was with the kids who played mylo and claggor.
“as you can see i am not dead,” mylo shouted at the camera, a cheeky grin on his face. while claggor imitates mylo’s death scene, his hand clutching where the steel bar pierces mylo’s skin before dramatically falling to the ground and laughing his ass off.
scene three.
(name)’s camera was propped up against a mirror, she was currently in the hair and make-up booth with jayce, viktor, and mel. she held her mic against her, “so my dearest mel, how does it feel to have everyone wish they were jayce during that one scene?” (name) wiggled her eyebrows as mel began laughing uncontrollably.
“all i can say is i’d rather have the beautiful zaunite enforcer rather than the golden boy,” mel said jokingly into the mic, referring to (name)’s character in the show. making everyone in the dressing room laugh.
the scene then cuts to what seems to be (name) reading people’s tweets regarding the show to the rest of the cast.
“jayce this one’s directed to you,” (name) said in between laughs. “i hate hate hate jayce talis. imagine being in the lap of a literal goddess but all you is cry and whine about your historic twink bag fumble.”
jayce was dumbfounded as everyone doubled up in laughter. “what the fuck is that supposed to mean?!?” he shouted. poor boy looked so confused, he looked like he had stroke trying to understand what historic twink bag fumble meant.
“this last one is for vik,” (name) started as the laughter died down (jayce still consfused in the background, asking vi what ‘historic twink bag fumble’ meant). “one of the fans said, ‘can i lick-“ almost immediately (name) started laughing.
“they said ‘can i lick viktor’s hextechticles.’” almost immediately everyone started laughing again, the sounds of boisterous laughter filled the room.
viktor’s cheeks tinted pink, he gripped his stomach as he laughed. “i have no idea how to respond to that.” he wheezed into the mic.
scene four.
“good morning everyone!” (name) exclaimed, waving at the camera. “we have my fave girl with us. the one, the only, caitlyn!”
the blue haired girl grinned, “but i’m not your favorite-“ she said in a teasing tone before got she cut off.
“you are my favorite girl,” (name) huffed, a visible blush paints her cheek as caitlyn rolled her eyes playfully.
she then proceeded to do a quick set tour, showing the audience how it really looked like without any cgi and all that jazz. the scene ends with (name) and caitlyn yapping about routines or rituals that helped them get in the mood to play their characters.
scene five.
this clip was taken during the filming of season two. (name) smiled at camera, her fingers on her lips in a shushing expression then pans the camera behind her. she was in one of the dressing rooms, and in the corner was sevika, powder (dressed up as jinx), and isha, who were sound asleep.
“look at this cute little dysfunctional family,” (name) whispered. sevika had powder leaning on her shoulder as isha was sprawled on her lap.
scene six.
“don’t fret ya’ll she’s alive!” (name) shouted at the camera, holding isha out like a sacrificial lamb. the camera seemed like it was held by someone significantly taller than her, the angle looking a bit funny as she held isha up.
the child laughed, (name) then propped the kid on her hip. powder then walked in-frame, she took isha from (name)’s hold and helped the kid up on her shoulders. “SHE’S ALIVEEEE!” powder shouted before running around the set, her hands supporting the kid’s weight.
“i swear if she dropped the kid-“ a voice from behind the camera mumbled.
“they’re gonna be fine vi,” (name) laughed. “let them be.”
scene seven.
during this scene, instead of the usual (name) who filmed most (if not all) the videos, it was cait and powder who held the camera. a cheeky grin etched on their lips. the camera then flipped to show their surroundings.
lo and behold, it was vi. she was cocooned in a thick blanket snoring away without a care in the world. cait then proceeded to walk towards her. once close enough, she held the camera at an angle to show (name) who was tucked between vi’s legs, her head resting against vi’s chest with the blanket almost covering her whole body.
“aren’t they the cutest,” cait snickered.
“can’t beat the dating allegations now,” powder replied with a snort.
scene eight.
“i’m actually bawling,” (name) whispered into the camera before adjusting it to show the rest of the set. the others are currently in the middle of filming a scene for act 3, she zoomed the camera to powder and ekko. they were dancing as the song ‘ma meilleure ennemie’ played in the background.
mylo and claggor’s hushed voices joined (name)’s as she continued to film, then suddenly the camera was yanked away and mylo’s face entered the frame.
“for anyone wondering, they’re actually dating in real life.” mylo whispered, claggor then appeared next to him with an unamused expression. “that was supposed to be a secret! they’re not out in the public yet.” he scolded.
“well, you can tell by the chemistry and tension between them. doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together. have you seen the dating rumours?”
(name)’s sigh was visibly heard before snatching the camera. “if by then ekko and power hasn’t come out as a couple yet i’ll just cut this part out.” she murmured.
scene nine.
“what is everyone’s fave song from the series?” (name) said, reading aloud the question written in a piece of paper.
“that’s a tough one,” ambessa said.
“probably to ashes and blood,” sevika exclaimed, then nods of agreement and murmurs filled the room.
“mine’s a no brainer,” heimerdinger piped. “my favorite song is spin the wheel, sung by yours truly.” everyone laughed, a couple people agreed as others began playfully teasing heimerdinger.
(name) smiled at her friends before looking at the camera. “my favorite has to be our love or ma meillure ennemie.”
“enemy by imagine dragons!”
everyone then proceeded to sing the song, goofily making sound effects and lowering their voices.
scene ten.
(name) panned the camera up, she zoomed in on vi and powder as they acted one of the most heartbreaking scenes in act 3. vi’s gauntlet clutched powder’s hand as the blue haired girl dangled, vander, who was dressed in the pre-cgi warwick costume, held her, the wires supporting their weights.
tears streamed down vi’s face as she looked down at her sister, she opened her mouth to deliver her line but nothing came out.
“crap, i forgot the line. wait.” she called out, smiling sheepishly.
the director sighed, “cut! let’s roll that again.”
powder laughed and shakes her head. “you fucking idiot.”
“cut it out you two,” vander scolded, his deep voice menacing yet playful.
“yeah, yeah.” vi replied, then held a thumbs up to signal that she was ready.
(name)’s laughs can be heard from behind the camera, she then flipped it to show her face. “you guys are about to hate every single thing about this scene i just know it.” caitlyn appeared next to her, she nursed a cup of coffee and smiled at the camera.
“be sure to keep your eyes open though,” was all caitlyn said before winking and walking away.
ꕀ
pictures taken from the set began to appear in a slideshow as the video ended. almost everyone was in shambles, especially the fans who were invited to come to the premiere. a round of applause echoed across the room as the producers step onto the stage again for the closing remarks.
the event ended a couple hours later than expected. the cast mingled, had a late dinner and a couple of drinks. everyone was enjoying themselves and having fun one last time before they went their separate ways.
“sad to think how i won’t be seeing everyone everyday now,” (name) whispered sadly as she and vi sat in one corner of the room. “i sure will miss everyone.”
vi draped an arm over her girlfriend’s shoulders, she leaned down until her face was adjacent to (name)’s. “not us though.” vi smiled teasingly.
“won’t you get tired of me though?” (name) asked, her hands cupped vi’s cheeks. her girlfriend snorted, acting as if she had just told a funny joke. “not by a long shot cupcake.”
the two leaned forward, their noses touching, lips only centimetres apart. just as about their lips met, cait’s voice startled them.
“i’m gonna have to borrow my best girl for a second vi,” she teased. “you can have (name) all to yourself later but for now we need to dance.”
the next thing (name) knew she was being dragged to dance floor by caitlyn, loud music blasting as her friend swayed. she looked back at vi who shrugged at her, a smile playing on her lips. (name) smiled before blowing her girlfriend a kiss. soon enough everybody joined them on the dance floor. ekko, powder, and isha danced in a circle, sevika who was reluctantly dragged by mel, jayce and viktor who gawked at heimerdinger (who was absolutely smashing the dance floor by the way), and then there was mylo who was talking to the dj as claggor did his best in becoming wingman of the year. some stayed seated and chose to drink, like silco, vander, and ambessa, who watched the others danced.
soon enough, the night finally ended. a couple people who were sober chaperoned those who were drunk, some opted to stay in nearby hotels. after saying their goodbyes, vi and (name) drove back to their shared apartment.
“that was fun,” (name) yawned as she plopped down on the couch, vi knelt in front of her started taking off her girlfriend’s shoes.
“tired?” she asked, rubbing the soles of (name)’s sore feet making the smaller girl groan. she responded with a soft ‘yes’, before closing her eyes. the sensation of vi’s lips making it’s way up her thigh startled her, her eyes fluttered open as she looked down.
vi smiled pressing another kiss on her girlfriend’s thigh before hiking them up and resting them on her shoulders. (name)’s dress pooled at her upper thigh, exposing her soft skin. “you sure?” vi whispered.
“mmm,” (name) hummed. “maybe not too tired.” she answered, making her girlfriend chuckle.
“good,” vi murmured against (name)’s skin. “because you’re in for a long night shortcake.”

#vi x reader#arcane act three#vi arcane x reader#arcane#vi arcane#jinx arcane#arcane smut#violet arcane#caitlyn kiramman#arcane season 2#ekko arcane#sevika arcane#arcane x reader#caitlyn arcane#viktor arcane x reader#arcane x you#sevika arcane x reader#vi is so hot#vi and jinx#jayce x viktor#vi smut#vi league of legends#viktor machine herald#ekko x reader#ekkojinx#jinx and isha#jinx and ekko#timebomb#isha arcane
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Ok so today's FULL update will be around 60 panels. Please note that after today next update will come in 4 days cause I need more time to finish some projects.
STILL! I'm also planning to create a small edit (I'm not great at edits, but I just wanted to put a lot of parts together with some self indulgent music in the background bc I can I guess) that I will post on the 13th probably to compensate!
BUT IF AFTER TODAY UPDATE YOU WANT TO DO SOME EDITS AS WELL YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN
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A big part of cultivating creative discipline is accepting that you can't just sit around waiting for inspiration to strike and learning how to write without it, but the other half is learning never to let inspiration go to waste when it does strike.
If you've got an idea for something that you'll never be able to show to anyone else – maybe it's too personal, maybe it's too pornographic, maybe it just doesn't fit your idiom – you should absolutely go ahead and write it anyway.
This isn't a "write for yourself" thing (and there's no shame in being uninterested in writing for yourself – art is about communication!): it's a "building your portfolio" thing. Self-plagiarism is one of the most fundamental skills of any artist, and you never know what random scribble is going to turn up exactly what's needed for some seemingly unrelated project later on.
Like, it's not likely that that grotesquely self-indulgent character piece where your fandom crush inexplicably has three dicks will randomly prove to contain the missing ingredient for that novel you've been procrastinating on writing, but it can never entirely be ruled out!
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Feeder 86: The Top Ten
Can you believe that the Feeder86 ‘Orginal Gainer Stories’ blog will soon be posting the two hundredth story? I thought of many ways to celebrate. But then I stopped and realised that I would probably be best using the time to address one of the questions I get asked about most frequently. Which of the stories do I personally like the most?
This was not an easy list to make as I very rarely go back to re-read my own work after I have finished editing and posting them. This is not because I do not like them, but because I always see bits that I want to change. Nevertheless, this project was the perfect opportunity to revisit a few oldies that I remember being very proud of at the time.
Hopefully you will see this list for what it is: a glimpse into how I write, my motivations and drive; rather than just a self indulgent pat on the back for myself. Yuck!
So, with that being said, let us begin...
#10 The Feeders’ Formula: This tale certainly had to be placed into the list. After all, it is the one that kicked off ‘Original Gainer Stories’ all those years ago. There are many amazing examples of instant body weight transformation stories out there. I felt that I needed to write this one as my contribution to the genre. It went down well at the time. I swiftly wrote a Part Two, then followed it up with others (The Feeders’ Formation, The Feeders’ Formalities, The Feeders’ Foreclosure, The Feeders’ Forecast, The Feeders’ Former Years), becoming something of an ongoing saga in recent years; focusing on the different Feeders from that very first meeting. As a writer who sometimes struggles to find the ending, these are wonderful to write as they all have the same inevitable conclusion. There is also so much freedom to be had when you’re working with characters who are pretty much pure evil. I know so much more about the Feeders than I’ve ever written down, so it is great to tease out those little details with each new installment. The newest of these tales (The Feeders’ Foreplay) was the darkest yet, but seems to have provoked a very favourable reaction from many. Who knows what the Feeders may get up to next? I do! And you can find out too, once we start a whole new sweeps season of stories this April! Come with me into The Feeders' Fortress!
#9 Only One: Where do I start? Only One has my absolute favourite type of feeder. Ben is big, sexy and very in control. He’s one of those rare types of guys who always stays on top and is a step ahead of absoultely everyone he meets. Who wouldn’t fall for him? I certainly did! In fact, I loved him so much that I wrote an entire prequel for him (and none of you even noticed!) Check out Rewire if you want to see how Ben became the man we know and love.
#8 The Wright Boys: The idea of a weight gain that cannot be stopped or controlled is a tempting one for many. How much easier would it be if you didn’t have to second guess your choices or face the pressure to lose weight? This was the first tale of what I see as ‘The Curses’ saga that eventually bled into many other stories (including another one on this list!) and culminated in Wright vs Beckett. However, this story remains my personal favourite of these. If you’re a fan of looking for crossovers between my stories, these are some of the most explicitly linked. I followed it up with a spin-off tale (The Wright Boys: DNA), but continue to have ideas about how I could go back to these boys in the future. Watch this space.
#7 Making Monsters: The title of this story really does give away how I felt about it at the time. This is quite the saga, spread over into not just two, but three parts! It began as a story that was very similar to Blackmailed; a tale that I had written previously about a guy voyeristically enjoying seeing his friend fatten up her boyfriend. However, this story evolved even further for me, with Tommy’s love of eating and gaining weight being both his greatest love, and his biggest shame. His denial only heightened the tension for me, and, when he does eventually give in, the gains feel all the more satisfying as a result.
#6 The Pig Feed: It’s not easy to write a gainer story where there isn’t another character spurring the events along and encouraging things. In this tale however, that role is given to a very tasty and surprisingly addictive pig feed mixture that Steve gets himself hooked on. It’s a story that I really enjoyed writing and still feel very happy with. I have considered writing more stories around this interesting feed. However, I am yet to do so; deciding (for now at least) that things are perhaps best left as they are. But, feel free to let me know your thoughts on this.
#5 Farm Boy: Whether you grew up in a big city, or a small rural community, like Hayden in this story, we can all relate to having desires and attractions that those around us don’t understand. And, thanks to how well connected we are these days, we now know what it’s like to realise that you’re not actually alone, and the whirlwind of excited emotions that follow. I enjoyed writing this story because I, quite simply, fell completely in love with Hayden. As kinky as he was, he still retained that fresh faced innocence throughout. If any of my characters were destined to be together forever, I imagine that these two would be my top choice.
#4 Keeping a Crush: This is one of those stories that I wrote in a matter of hours, and I was so pleased with it when I was done. Getting the train to go to work is not necessarily something that many Americans have to do, and so the location had to be switched to the UK (quite refreshing, I thought!). For me, it’s one of those really rare instances where placing very solid restrictions on the structure of a story (In this case, having it all take place during the commute to and from work) and finding that it actually elevates the sexual tension and mood. All scenes take place in public settings. All conversations could, in theory, be overheard. These days, so many people meet online and flirt for weeks by messaging back and forth, before they even see each other for the first time. Nowadays, for better or for worse, the actual, real fantasy is finding a connection with someone you just see in the real world; perhaps with a person you literally just met on the way to work...
If you’ve not read this one, I really would highly recommend it.
#3 To the Max: Stories with a magical element to them are either loved or hated. However, I find that this tale walks that line very successfully. Ned gets his hands on a love potion and makes straight guy, Max, fall for him. I’m sure we’ve all been there with that fantasy! However, it is in the consequences of inviting someone into your life, someone that you actually know very little about, that the entire eroticism of this story is based. I won’t spoil it for those who have not read it, but believe me when I say that things soon start getting very interesting indeed…
#2 Tommy’s Two Hundred. Don’t recognise this one? Well, that's because none of you have read it yet.
Now, I’m not just saying this because I want you all to come back for the two hundreth story, but this is genuinely one of my absolute favourites. For my big milestone stories in the past, I have written something specifically for that event (Wright vs Beckett, The Seven Feeders of Finn). However, this is just a tale that I adored writing and decided to hold back for you all, especially for this occasion. It’s a story of domination and submission within a fairly open, but very kinky, relationship. Strapping Hunter plays the part of a very controlling feeder, making me break many of my own rules and stretching my boundaries to the absolute limits. You’ll either love him, or you’ll hate him. That’s all I’m going to say…
Also, this story is going to be the first Feeder86 story that will be fully illustrated. It’s all thanks to the amazing talents of Spellwell9 who was given an advanced copy and asked to imagine the characters in four different scenes. I cannot wait for you to see this!
Put it in your diary. All will be revealed from Friday 5th April…
#1 F80 Control: This is perhaps a controvercial choice (especially as my #1). I have previously admitted that this story strays a little from its purpose of being a gainer story. In other words, I get very caught up in the background story that is being told. However, I feel that the science fiction genre is surprisingly underused in tales of weight gain. Yet, the combination of Aritificial Intelligence and submission seemed, to me, to be the perfect blend. It really is a beast of a story if you can follow it all the way through to its conclusion.
With the advent of improved artificial intelligence software in recent years, I felt the time was right to develop the world further, with the addition of F80 Ctrl Alt Del; a spin-off tale set slightly before the main story. Then, unable to help myself, I followed this up again with another companion story, F80: Kidnap and Control.
The reason I chose this universe as my favourite is because this is where I am happiest writing. With AI, I don’t need to consider the morality or motivations - I know exactly what their aims are and I can see multiple ways in which it will cause conflict with humanity (and their waistlines!) I would also love to write more for this world one day, and I even left a little unused subplot in the last story that I think would provide the perfect starting-off point for another chapter. Will I ever write it? Well, we’ll have to wait and see…
So, there you have it! The the complete list!
This was a much harder exercise than I expected when I first embarked upon it. Stories like: Jiggle the Jock, Meticulous, Rule Number One, Freaks, Leftovers I and II, Ethan: The Secret Feeder and, not fogetting The Consequences I, II and III all crept in and out of the list, unfortunatley missing out on the final cut. There are many, many others, of course. But this list cannot go on forever...
So, why not tell me which ones were your favourites? Feel free to write in the comments and post a link to any other stories that you have enjoyed from myself, or from other authors. Hopefully, if we all work together, this could become a great resource for people in the future, filled with signposts and reccommendations.
Also, don’t forget the Feeder86 Contents page where you can find links and descriptions of all the 200 stories posted so far (as well as plot outlines for upcoming tales as well). Please continue to enjoy the vast catalogue of stories, and even have a go yourself! I love supporting the many new gainer fiction writers who contact me. So please do get in touch if you need advice, or to talk through your ideas. Let’s all encourage a whole new generation of people to get typing away! I’m sure you will cheer them on just as much as I will.
Thank you to everyone who supports the stories blog here on Tumblr. Keep checking in every Friday througout April for a whole new sweeps season to celebrate this milestone. Stories will include: Tommy's Two Hundred, Train for a Gain, The Feeders' Fortress and The 1% (a companion story to The 5%). For now, I thank you all for taking time out to sit and read the very bizarre tales that sprout from my mind. You are all wonderful.
Happy 200 stories!
Feeder86
#gainer fiction#gainer stories#gainerstory#gayfeeder#gainerfic#gainer story#gayfeedee#gay feedee#gainerstories
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Stray Kids when their s/o crochets
Pairings: SKZ x gn!reader
Tags: @jehhskz***Taglist is open.***
Requests Masterlist
Warnings: Seungmin teases reader and Jisung's briefly mentions lingerie.
A/N: I feel like crocheting has gotten more popular over the years, and I crochet so this is very self-indulgent so here we are. Fun fact, my high school boyfriend called me an old granny bc I crocheted and his mom yelled at him for that in front of me. F u Jack <333333333 Enjoy :)
Bang Chan <3
This man is genuinely impressed that you can crochet
He finds out a few months into your relationship when he comes home to find you making a blanket for him
Asks a million questions about stitches, the needles you use, etc
Chan will mistake crocheting for knitting at first, which you think is adorable
"How is your knitting going?" "Do you need me to pick up anymore yarn for that knitting project you're working on?"
Chan will try learning so you guys can do it together #couplegoals. You find him in his room at a ridiculously late hour watching a crocheting video on YouTube with a bunch of yarn knotted up in his lap.
His square somehow came out as a triangle (????) and eventually gives up after five hours of trying. He just wanted to make you happy 😭
BUT. He will spend hours just watching you crochet. He is absolutely entranced with how quickly your fingers move and create beautiful and effortless stitches.
Bonus points if you can crochet without looking and hold a conversation with him.
He thinks it's witchcraft and it will kinda freak him out a little. Eventually Chan will get used to it tho and will brag to his friends about his "little crochet ninja."
Lee Know <3
He couldn't care less about your crocheting. To Minho, it's just another hobby.
One day, tho, he comes home from work to find Soonie, Doongie and Dori all wearing matching hats, courtesy of you. He will beg you to make a matching one for him so he can take pics
Soon after that, his apartment will start displaying crocheted items. Pillow covers, blankets, a few pot holders and some sweaters.
Minho's feet get really cold, especially during the winter, so you make sure to slip a few pairs of crocheted socks into his suitcase when he's packing for a tour. (He misses you a million times more after that gesture and will probably cry into his pillow.)
Will rub it into the other member's face that you are a crocheting genius. Contemplates selling some of his items to the other members for a little extra cash but doesn't bc you would kill him and probably the cats as well.
Minho encourages you to start an Etsy and sell some of your creations
"But they're not good enough, no one would buy them..."
"Jagi, I promise, they will. You're very talented. (<333333)"
And if they didn't sell, he would buy your entire store out, just to make you feel better. You would never know it was him tho...
The members would probably buy some of your items and when you would visit them, your little crafts would be all around the dorms.
Changbin <3
I feel like Binnie would buy you all the yarn and anything else that you could possibly need for crocheting. Like a sugar daddy, but the only thing that he buys you is yarn and hooks. I dunno...
He would probably ask you to make things for him to give to family and friends. Sweater for his mom, socks for his dad, etc.
Also Changbin would wear anything and everything that you gave him with pride. Sweaters, check. Socks, check. Bucket hat, check. Messenger bag, check. He would make an entire outfit out of your crocheted items and then proceed to go out in public dressed like that.
"Everyone needs to see what my talented baby makes for me."
"You look crazy, Bin."
"Crazy for you." Rizzzzzz
Even though he looked a bit eccentric in his crochet outfit, the man would somehow still slay 💅
Changbin = your biggest fan 💯
I think he would post pictures of your creations on his social media
He wouldn't say that you made it for him directly, but rather like "look what a friend gave me."
Still, him wearing all the things that you crocheted for him made you proud.
Hyunjin <3
I can imagine you guys spending evenings involved in both of your arts. Him with his paintings and you with your crocheting.
It would be nice and quiet. Occasionally one of you would break the silence, but most of the time both of you were completely absorbed in your work.
When you visited Hyunjin's hometown, you found out that his mother also crocheted. You guys would 100% bond over your hobby, exchanging patterns and project ideas.
This would make Hyunjin a little whiny.
"Babbeeee, you were supposed to spend this vacation with me, not with my mom doing your old lady yarn thing."
But secretly he was glad that you guys had a good relationship, even if you weren't paying attention to him constantly.
When you got back home, you gifted him a blanket that his mom and you worked on together.
Hyunjin would probably start sobbing, missing his mom already, and smother you with hugs and gratitude.
"Thank you, y/n, it's-it's perfect."
Hyunjin would keep the blanket folded up on the edge of his bed. He wouldn't use it for fear of getting it dirty, but you can bet this man would totally snap if someone accidentally sat on it or touched.
"Seungmin, get your filthy butt off of my blanket, now. I can't have you ruining it."
Han <3
The moment he found out about your hobby, you can bet your sweet ass that he raced to learn how to do it.
After a few months of practice, he would actually be better at it than you. This would slightly annoy you but murder is illegal so too bad
Jisung would totally crochet you guys matching sweaters. (This is canon and you cannot change my mind about it) You would wear your matching sweaters everywhere. I am also convinced he would crochet your lingerie as well hehe
It would get to the point where Jisung would crochet your hair.
"Jagi, you look so cute!!" This man has talent oozing out of every pore on his body, so I have no doubt he could do this.
He also figured out how to crochet with his fingers. He would try teaching you how to do it, but you gave up fairly quickly. Clearly you are not as talented as your boyfriend.
"So figuratively, if you can crochet with your hands would it be possible to crochet with your toes?"
^^This is an actual thought that he voiced to you. You just gave him a look.
For his birthday, you crocheted him a bag for his projects and bought him personalized hooks.
This bag would go everywhere with him. On the subway, at the dorms, backstage. I feel like this would help him manage stress and anxiety, which is especially why he would be addicted to this hobby :(
Felix <3
I think Felix, like Chan, would be fascinated with your hobby. I don't think he would crochet himself bc of his smol hands 🥹 but I could see him sending you crafting ideas or suggestions.
"Hey baby, wouldn't a yellow chick be cute??" or "I need a new pair of socks, could you make a pair for me please?"
💯 spoils you with crocheting items. A bag to keep all your tools organized for your birthday, maybe some new yarn that you had been looking at for your 6 month anniversary, new patterns that he will just randomly send you at 3 am in the morning. (I want a Felix 🥺)
You crocheted him a baby blue sweater for his birthday and the man Will. Not. Take. It. Off.
Felix will wear it on dates, shopping with you, during interviews and even on stage sometimes.
The members will tease him, but he doesn't care, they'll have to take the sweater off his dead body.
Felix will start sobbing if you crochet him a lace handkerchief and sneak it into his bag when he leaves for a tour (Bonus points if you spray some of your perfume on it).
He will quite literally sleep with it next to his face so it feels as if you're almost right next to him. Makes being away from you a tiny bit better but just a tiny bit bc he misses you to death
Seungmin <3
Mocks you mercilessly for your hobby. He doesn't even try to be nice about it.
"How is your back feeling, Grandma?" "Are we making doilies for our hope chest today?" "Do you want to watch the Ed Sullivan show while you crochet or do you want me to turn on Mrs. Maizel? OOoooo, how about I Love Lucy?" I actually love this show, fight me.
You threaten to stab him with your needle if he doesn't shut his smartass mouth up. Seungmin retorted with a raspberry.
Even though he will never admit it, he has an entire photo album dedicated to your work.
Halmeoni's needle shtufffff
You find it one day on his phone while he is in the bathroom.
Literally has pictures of every single one of your pieces. Probably dates back to a year or so.
You show this to him and he scoffs.
"Those pictures were not taken by me. Chan or someone must have taken my phone or something..."
You don't miss the soft blush that coated his cheeks and ears however.
After this incident, you decide to crochet him a tiny PuppyM and he accepts the gift with a raised eyebrow and a tiny "thanks, I guess."
A few days later, as you are watching his vlive, he grabs the skzoo from his bed and proudly displays it to the audience.
"A fan made this for me," he said shyly with one of his signature smiles.
I.N. <3
I think he's neither here nor there about your crocheting. He's not mean about it, but isn't overly enthusiastic about it either.
"How is your knitting going?"
"It's crocheting, Innie."
He'll grab any supplies you need if he's out and about. I think he'll also gift you crochet stuff, not as frequently as Lixie or Bin, tho.
For your birthday, Jeongin gets you a charm for your charm bracelet. It's a silver ball of yarn with a crochet hook going through it.
Honestly, you're both impressed and surprised that he remembered your hobby enough to get an entire gift based on it.
He shrugs nonchalantly (but is secretly thrilled that you love it bc this boy can't shop for gifts to save his life).
^^^ Tbh, he consulted Chan regarding your gift bc he literally knows nothing about crocheting (neither does Channie) and they spent about 10 hours researching "Thoughtful gifts for crocheters that aren't yarn or needles"
It gets to the point where Jeongin and Chan call all of the members to help them. Changbin calls his mother, who crochets and everyone else is either online researching or brainstorming ideas.
Jeongin will never tell you, tho, that it took eight full grown men to come up with your present.
The smile on your face when you opened the tiny box was worth every minute anxiously surfing the internet.
***My works are not allowed for translation or reposting as your own without my permission***
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