#is this my first post today. starting off strong with a joke about self harm and a threat of suicide

[lapdogchase]

if i posted a picture/video with visible scars and all the comments were like “im so glad nobody’s asking for a trigger warning 🥺” i would kill myself

[iwasabs]

Levi finding out his fem s/o dealing with mental and domestic abuse with parents and occasional physical and very awkward/scared talking about? If you’re not comfy writing it that’s fine. Stay safe 🖤🖤

!DISCLAIMER!

I'm sorry for my bad English, but I'm Italian and I'm currently studying this language, so this is also a way to improve my vocabulary. if you spot any mistake, feel free to correct me. furthermore THIS IS A SEPARATE POST AND HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PREVIOUS ONES.

thank you for asking!!!! I'm so glad I wrote a story with your idea! hope you like it<3

Thanks for the attention and now let’s move on the story’s details.

𖥔 pairing: levi ackerman x fem!reader

𖥔 genres: fluff

𖥔 TW: mentioning of mental/domestic/physical abuse, self harm

𖥔 word count: 1.4k

𖥔 summary: while training, you have a little fight with jean and levi notices your weird behavior.

───────────────────────────────

“you fucking slugs better move your asses or I'll make you pay for it!” levi says in a bossy voice that makes a shiver run down your spine. you love him, but he low-key scares you when he acts like this during the training.

“jean what’s the issue with you? can’t you run faster? or you wish a titan eats your fucking head? come on!”

jean scoffs and mumbles something under his breath.

“eren is running slow too, captain. but that doesn’t seem to bother you at all.” says jean, a little pissed off, staring at eren with the corner of his eye.

“come on, jean. even if I'm on my period, I can run faster than you!” you say chuckling.

everybody knows jean has a huge crush on you, so you really enjoy teasing him and making fun of him, especially during training. he turns in your direction and you laugh at his mad face.

“what the fuck is wrong with you shitty slut? is your life’s so useless that you always need to make fun of mine? I'll tell you this, I'm fucking tired of this bullshit, Y/N” he screams in your face, pushing you on the ground, leaving everybody shocked. he never reacted like this at one of your jokes.

you quickly stand up and walk towards him. you slap his face as hard as you can, turning it on one side because of the impact. then you force him to look at you in you eyes.

“don’t ever try to touch me again or I swear I'm gonna pulp your liver with my bare hands and make you eat it.” you say in a hard voice. you grab his shirt and push him away from you. you quickly unhook your harness, throwing it on the ground and walking fast towards the sleeping quarters.

“what’s wrong, brat?” levi tries to stop you and talk to you, but you ignore him and run in your room. as soon as you close the door, you start to cry silently. you stand up and punch everything you find in your way, destroying the wooden table and chair and ripping the sheets of your bed. you sink your face in the pillow and start screaming as loud as you can, collapsing on your bed.

as soon as you feel something touching your skin, you wake up and run out of your bed.

“jesus christ levi! you scared the shit out of me!” you say to him, still half asleep. he sits on your bed and invites you to follow him. you sit near him, maintaining a little distance, as always.

“what was that out there?” he asks you looking at your eyes. you look away, not able to maintain eye contact.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” you exactly know what he is talking about.

“Y/N don’t fucking lie to me, please. you know I hate it.”

“I don’t care if you hate it. you don’t need to know everything about me, we’re not fucking married! stop acting as if you care about me and my stuff!”

“oh so you think I just act like I care but I don't. then you're fucking wrong, Y/N. I care about you more than anyone else, don't even say I don't.”

“then why did you let jean treat me like that? you didn't say a thing, you just let him do whatever he wanted. I felt like shit and you didn't even notice that!”

“Y/N what are you talking about? I wanted to kick his ass when he treated you like that, but you said that we shouldn't tell the others about what's between us. as if I gave a shit about what others think. and don't think I didn't punish him, he’s been running laps for hours and he’s still training. and I'm not the one who run away without letting anyone help them. now, please, tell me why did you react like that?”

you lay on the bed in fetal position. you start to cry, but you quickly try to calm yourself down so levi doesn't notice.

“my parents said...”

he gets closer, but you stop him with a movement of your hand.

“and did... sorry levi I can't.”

you stand up and run out of the room. you never told anyone about what your parents use to do to you, not even levi. you still feel so embarrassed that, even if you try to tell anyone, words aren’t able to come out of your mouth. you sit under a tree near the field where cadets use to train, tearing tufts of grass from the ground. you look at the moon, you didn’t notice evening had already arrived. you look at your legs and arms full of goosebumps and you try to warm up your body a little bit.

“if you go out like this, don’t be surprised to wake up with a cold.” levi’s voice increases the goosebumps on your skin. after a couple seconds, you hear his strong arms grabbing you. at first, you flinch, but then you surprisingly let him catch you. once you’re in his arms, you rest your face on his shoulder and hook your legs and arms around his body. now you’re back in your room.

“Y/N, you know you can trust me. talk to me, please. I need to hear you.”

you feel a strange feeling in your body that makes you gain enough courage to ask levi what you thought you’d never ask.

“would you sleep here tonight?” you ask him so softly that he almost doesn't hear you.

“you sure? you don’t have to di this, Y/N. I told you I'll wait long enough to make you feel ready.” he says touching your cheeks.

in response, you grab his hand and you make him sit on the bed.

“I just... just wanna sleep, is that ok?” you ask him awkwardly. he softly chuckles and nods. you lightly smile and reach the furthest corner of the room, as you start to unbutton your shirt.

his face is confused. he’s probably misunderstanding.

“I’m sorry.” you say full of embarrassment. you take off your shirt and your pants and start to get closer to him. as soon as he can clearly see your body, his face becomes shocked. your thighs and arms are covered in scars. you seat besides him and cover your naked belly with your hands.

“did...did you do that to yourself?” he asks with a shocked face. you slightly nod.

“my mom used to tell me I was just an useless bitch who could only sell her body in the underground to gain some money and have a life. I spent my whole life cleaning the house or going around satisfying my parents’ requests. and when I went back to the house, my dad was there, waiting for me with his belt, prepared to beat the shit out of me. and when he finished, he used to tell me that he was just doing what it takes to grow a soldier.” your voice is broken, you know that you’ll not be able to hold back tears for still a long time. levi notices that.

“it’s ok if you cry. I'm not gonna judge you.” his words hit your ears like an order. in fact, as soon as he speaks, you burst into tears. he hugs you from behind and makes you put your head on his chest. the regular sound of his heartbeat calms you.

“the reason why I reacted like that today... it’s because it was like living again the hell the I've been through. and i’m sorry if I rarely let you touch me, but I'm afraid that you could act like my dad. actually, you’re the only man that can touch me. you’re really important to me, levi. you should know that. and i’m sorry if I didn't tell you this before, but I was embarrassed. and scared.”

“why that, darling?”

“because I didn't know what your reaction would be. what if... what if you found me repulsive? what if touching me made you feel sick? what if you couldn’t look me the same way anymore? levi... I can’t live in a world where you find me disgusting.”

“what are you even saying? how could you even think that? Y/N there’s no way in the world I could ever find you disgusting. you’re the only woman in my life, the only person that matters to me. I just want to make you happy.” he whispers.

as soon as you hear his words, you turn around and you gently place your lips on his.

your first kiss ever. with your man. with levi.

[billyspotato]

Hello could you do a jj imagine where the whole crew is on the boat and the reader is wearing his fav bathing suit and everyone keeps making fun of him for staring at you, but jj gets a little jealous because you are already dating and he doesn’t want the guys seeing you in that bathing suit? Thank you!

JJ Maybank being protective [HC]

Type: Fluff

Warnings: English is not my first language, sorry for any misspelling. Female reader. Swearing.

A/N: Gif’s not mine :)

Let’s all admit something here, JJ is a jealous son of a bitch;

It’s stupid how easy it is to make him jealous;

It can be because a guy started a conversation with you, or if you started a conversation with a guy or even the way guys would look at you;

Therefore, he would show his dislike whenever you would wear something that he knows that it would catch people’s attention;

How does he know that it would? Because it would catch his too;

And that bathing suit is the stuff of his nightmares;

Not that he doesn’t want to see you in it;

Because fuck, you look amazing in it, but…

That will certainly catch many people’s attention;

He would even joke that even the fishes would stop swimming to look at you whenever you would wear it;

But that obviously wouldn’t make you stop wearing it;

And one day, you did;

JJ, at first, didn’t know, since it’s under your clothes but that didn’t last;

When he helped you in John B’s boat and saw the red strap peeking from your shirt, he was all over you right away;

From making tones of conversation with you to pulling you closer to him or even to his lap whenever you would get up, JJ wouldn’t give up;

When you had to undress to go in the water with Kie, he wouldn’t take his eyes off you;

John B would tease JJ about it too, obviously;

Every time JJ would be looking at you for over a minute when having a conversation with Pope, John B would be up his ass;

“She won’t run away JJ” or “She won’t disappear if you take your eyes off her”;

JJ would just mock his words and act like he wasn’t staring;

But everyone knew the truth;

Kie and Pope would sometimes join in the jokes and comments towards JJ;

And they were always able to make you laugh while JJ would always try to hide his embarrassment from being caught staring, but sometimes it wouldn’t work;

I’ll talking red cheeks and everything;

That boy would become an embarrassed red-cheeked softie when caught by more than one person;

You would find it cute as he would try to play it cool;

And when you would come out of the water, he would try and convince you to sit next to him, ‘to keep him company’;

You would do it, while starting a conversation with Pope or Kie, which were on the other side of the boat;

And boy, whenever John B or Pope would look at your exposed back or even shoulders, alarms would go off in JJ’s head;

You would laugh every time he would try and convince you to start considering other swimming clothes;

“What about that blue one?”, “Or that yellow one?”, “Oh, shit, yeah and the pink?”;

You know JJ meant no harm in these conversations, he’s just being his goofy and jealous self;

He wouldn’t ever prohibit you in wearing anything, he liked to see you feeling confident, but god damn, you don’t need to make him feel more and more attracted to you on a daily basis;

“I think the sun is becoming a little too strong, why don’t you put this on?” JJ would ask when giving you his shirt;

You would just roll your eyes playfully at him, as he smiled;

Whenever the day would come into an end, JJ would take you home and right after that, invite himself in;

That boy would not leave you for the rest of the day, and that’s a promise;

He would spend the night and everything;

And if you ever ended up sunburnt at the end of the evening, JJ would always say “It might be the bathing suit. You never get sunburnt with the other ones.” Or “Maybe it’s the color red”, which always worked in making you laugh;

And that’s what matters, after all.

- - - - - - - -

I’m finally done with exams, even though my speaking (English) exam was delayed to Thursday (it was supposed to be today at 4). 

So that means I’ll be posting more, now. (Thank God)

- - - - - -

🌸✨Sorry, but I’m not writing in this account anymore. Go check out my new one @twinklelilstarkey✨🌸

[kiwikyuu]

━━━━━━━━ greatest asset ; oikawa tōru

summary — there was only one thing you could think in that moment; oikawa could not lose his greatest asset no matter the cost

word count — 1.3k

genre — imagine ; enemies to lovers, slight angst, fluff

warning(s) — car accident + coma, self sacrifice (read: not death). sort of cliché oops, cursing, not edited

a/n — i read a hand holding headcanon and something about it just spurred this idea in me. also this might be a little out of character but everything just kinda made sense in my head so oops. it has been so long since i've written imagines so please be patient with me

❝ IT ALL HAPPENED SO FAST, BUT HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN FASTER. ❞

They called him the Great King—Oikawa the Great. He was a star on and off the court. With his impeccable serves and his seemingly endless fan club of girls, people found it hard to believe that a guy so stuck up his own flat ass could ever yield willingly to someone.

Then you came into the picture.

You two clashed in every way possible from the moment you met. The dislike was mutual and unwavering. There were even whispers that Oikawa found you more intolerable than Kageyama Tobio, the infamous genius setter of Karasuno High.

"There's a thin line between love and hatred, Y/N."

"Yeah, it's called rationality, Tōru, and my balance is impeccable."

Bickering became but a pastime between you two, and considering that you took the same bus as Oikawa, it happened often.

It was foggy out this afternoon. Mondays were his day off, which meant you found yourself walking stubbornly beside him. Oikawa tried his best not to mind you, but his eyebrows furrowed in frustration regardless.

"Take a picture, Tōru. It'll last longer," you said, narrowing your eyes at him as the bus stop came into view just across the street.

He scoffed. "Like I'd want a picture of you in my phone."

You rolled your eyes at him. "Stop acting so high and mighty, you arrogant asshole."

Arrogant asshole.

There it was, the words he had heard so many times before whether it was directly at him on the court or behind his back when he was turned. Everyone always had something to say, something to critique.

Oikawa wasn't sure why it bothered him so much today, but it did. Maybe it was the recent loss against Shiratorizawa at Inter-High, or maybe it was the underlying fear of not wanting to be like Kageyama and knowing what you said sounded exactly like something that he would have said to insufferable first-year. Regardless, it struck a nerve and it struck hard.

You had never seen the expression that Oikawa had donned cross his face before, and for the first time, you worried you had overstepped. Sure, he was annoying, but your comments were always meant to irritate not cause genuine harm.

"You know Y/N, for someone who acts so smart you're really fucking dense," Oikawa said, his voice small but slowly getting louder. He let out a booming laugh as he turned to face you.

"Calm down," you said.

Oikawa shook his head. "I mean, arrogant asshole? Your vocabulary is shit. Why not pompous prick or ingenuine idiot?" He took a step forward as you took one back leaving the both of you to stand dangerously close to the edge of the sidewalk.

"You're going to – " slip if you don't be careful.

But the damage had already been done, and Oikawa felt his foot slide off the curb. He would have went flailing backwards if he hadn't had the reflexes of a skilled volleyball player. He steadied himself quickly, shoes coming down flat against the asphalt of the side of the road.

For a moment, you thought he was safe again because he hadn't hurt himself. The fog was thick but not thick enough to cover the blinding headlights of an approaching car that definitely did not have enough time to swerve safely away from Oikawa who didn't even realize what was happening behind him.

There was only one thing you could think in that moment; Oikawa could not lose his greatest asset no matter the cost. You weren't stupid. You knew if the car hit him, it would have affected his hands. What was a setter without functioning hands?

It was a split-second decision. Suddenly, you were pulling Oikawa back onto the sidewalk as the momentum propelled you forward to take his place.

It all happened so fast, but he should have been faster.

Everything went dark but not before you saw the abject horror in Oikawa's eyes.

A week later, you woke up in the hospital.

"If those are tears in your eyes, Shittykawa, I'm going to – "

"You're too mean, Y/N. You just woke up from a coma."

The doctors had informed you that considering your injuries, it would take you at least a month to recover and that was if you were lucky. You weren't overjoyed to be missing school, but Aoba Johsai was just considerate enough after a certain whiny setter complained to everyone he possibly could to provide accommodations so you'd be able to graduate in time.

Meanwhile, during your recovery, if Oikawa wasn't practicing for the upcoming Spring Nationals, he was to be by your side.

"I saved your life, Tōru, so you bet your flat ass that you're going to help me during recovery," you said when he objected to your request. Eventually, he agreed.

And so began an interesting friendship.

The students of Aoba Johsai were shocked when they found out. Oikawa Tōru, the Great King of the court, reduced to a compliant errand boy?

Iwaizumi was just glad Oikawa had finally met his match. Perhaps, this would turn to be for the better.

"Tōru, buy me milk bread."

"Only if we can share." THUD. "Y/N, you hit almost as hard as Iwa-chan."

"I'm bored, Tōru."

"Okay, and?"

"Stupidkawa, read me a story."

"Jared, 19."

"Oikawa, I want bubble tea."

"And milk bread?"

"You know me so well now."

Until finally you were discharged, and with your recovery, a strong bond with the pretty setter that made your heart flutter from time to time.

The volleyball team was still preparing for Spring Nationals which was slowly approaching. Oikawa, now able to turn his full attention to it, fully immersed himself into practice. He was the captain after all.

And it was only once you started to drop by that you noticed it.

It being the swarm of butterflies that pooled in your stomach whenever you found yourself around Oikawa now. For some reason, you could no longer overlook the handsome features of his face or the attractiveness in his confidence.

Really, you wanted nothing more than to disappear in a hole once you realized.

Iwaizumi figured out Oikawa's feelings for you before he did.

It was the way the usually level-headed setter would become even more boastful on the court if you were sitting in the bleachers during their practices. Sometimes, a slight pink even tinged his cheeks when you managed a smile at him.

Slowly, the two of you were falling for each other more and more.

Oikawa would take you home after practice if you were still there, getting off at your stop which was three earlier than his so he could walk you.

"You don't have to take me all the way, Tōru."

"I want to."

You would come bearing gifts the next morning after a particularly rough night, somehow managing to get through all his fan girls to give him milk bread packaged prettily and decorated with a post-it note holding a message.

"Cheer up, Stupidkawa."

"You really know what warms my heart, Y/N."

It continued like this for a while. Iwaizumi declared he'd kick Oikawa off the team if he had bear any more of this overly-sweet pre-relationship period. Then finally it happened.

Mondays were his day off, which meant you found yourself walking happily beside him. Oikawa and you were bumping shoulders—a back-and-forth that you were now used to.

"We should get bubble tea," you decided.

"And milk bread," he added.

You stared at him blankly. "You had milk bread like every day this week. How are you not sick of it?"

"I hang out with you every day, and I'm not sick of you," he countered.

"Yeah, but I'm not bread," you said, still looking at him blankly despite the bubbling pit of affection in your chest at his words.

Oikawa nodded thoughtfully. "You're better."

You scoffed, trying to play it off, though your cheeks burned. "Your fan girls would trample me if they heard," you joked. "Something about stealing you from them when we're not even – "

"Go out with me."

[cryptidsandcatacombs]

What If I Killed Someone For You

Rating: absolutely postively adult for violent yandere content. Anyone under the age of 18 better go away. No reading allowed for anyone under the age of 18. Plus there's like one adult joke in here so no one under the age of 18 allowed for that reason either.

Summary: This is literally fueled by my love of yandere content #nojudgingcringecultureisdeadandikilledit. Noe better watch himself because he's been my muse lately. Anyways uuuu idk yandere stuff here so you know someone's getting stabbed. We should probably do something about that, but we're not gonna. Thems the rules chief. No, you can't stop it either you total fucking killjoy. I'll start stealing toes if you do. What will I do with said toes? Black markets are a lucrative business and I need the money cause I'm broke fam. So really it's the economy's fault that I'm chopping toes. Say thanks late stage capitalism. This is brought to you by idk the monster under your bed who chops off the toes for me. He gets paid by the hour so try no to run too much ok.

Oh and this fic contains lyrics from If I killed someone for you by Alec Benjamin. Yes I'm inserting song lyrics into a fic like it's the early 2000s.

I'm packing up my things and I'm wiping down the walls I'm rinsing off my clothes and I'm walking through the halls I did it all for her So I felt nothing at all I don't know what she'll say So I'll ask her when she calls

Would you love me more? If I killed someone for you

Oz was considered by most a laid back sort of guy. Never angered easily. He can get frustrated like every other person, but not so easily angered.

However, despite his laid back nature, he had a vice. Jealousy. One that he was very self aware of. He often tried not to let it get the better of him, but there it was. A beast clad in green with eyes of emerald staring him directly in the fact tempting him with its siren song.

The siren song came in the form of Noe Archiviste and....whoever this girl was that was hanging all over Noe right now. She had a voice as sweet as molasses and brown curls that fell down her shoulders like waterfalls. She would run her hands over Noe and look at him with her doe eyes. She was a cute on overall. Couldn't blame Noe for taking interest if it was there.

He seemed to not the mind the attention he received from the lady...nor the frivolous compliments....nor the blatantly flirty way she seems to be touching him with every caress of his hands into hers and the way she wraps her arms around his neck.

Oz's eye twitched. Oz could have stuffed down all this rage and envy that suddenly sprouted from the ether, but jealousy was truly Oz's vice. One he wasn't planning to fix any time soon. He wanted to sit there and be happy for his dearest Noe. Stay to the sidelines and be happy for his good fortune for love is one of the greatest things you can find.

However, there was another urge. One just as strong.

"I want her to die," cried Oz's thoughts. "I want her gone. She can't take Noe away from me. She can't. I know him and I aren't together in a romantic sense, but...I don't want her taking away my chance either. She has to go"

"Now now Oz," said another voice in Oz's head, "You know that's wrong. You can't go around getting rid of anyone you see as a competition or obstacle towards someone you care about."

Oz was prone to scolding himself at times like these. He always held himself to high moral standards. Sometimes too high. To the point of self-loathing. Impressive if you ask the writer. Self awareness? Bitch please for shame. This isn't a call out post for myself. What is it you may ask? Hey, we're getting off topic you little trickster. You're supposed to be a reader. Not breaking the fourth wall.

"Yes yes I know I can't do that. I'm not going to. That still doesn't save me from any form of feral urge to wring her neck and ship her body down the river and hope and have her loved ones pray she can be identified by her dental records. Fuck does she even love him. What if she's out to hurt him or worse just wants him for his body? Look at him! He's gorgeous. Who can blame her? What if she doesn't love him like I do," said Oz's internal thoughts.

"Oz you're being dumb. She might love him unconditionally too and he deserves that for himself," Oz argued internally with himself back.

"I know I know, but I'm just saying what if. I just don't like the idea of him getting hurt nor the idea of her taking him away from me. I'm entitled to that feeling aren't I," Oz continued to debate with his voice of reason.

"Fair, but lets just wait and see. He's a big boy and can handle himself," Oz's voice of reason stated.

"Yeah a big boy in more ways than one I bet," said the third internal Oz voice of being horny and all around slutty that constantly lives there.

"This is getting us nowhere," Oz himself decided to just cut the internal argument off before it turns into a blood match to the death. This was disturbing his routine of stalking Noe for ...research purposes.

Oz looked over to now see them sitting down at the nearby cafe. They were seated across from each other. Oz noted Noe might be enjoying his usual coffee or tea. He liked it extra sweet either way. The man has one hell of a sweet tooth.

"Yeah I bet that brown haired hussie doesn't know that, but I do," Oz thought to himself smugly.

Oz looked back at Noe's companion to see her touching his arm and doing the egregious crime of looking into his magnificent purple eyes. Wait....was she now touching his face?

"You lucky bitch," Oz thought to himself this time with anger brows drawn on the words for dramatic emphasis.

Oz ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Damn it! How long is this date going to last? I hope it stops before I puke up a lung," Oz thought to himself this time internally rolling in pain.

Hours passed and Oz with surprising tenacity had stayed there all day following Noe around with the clever disguise of wearing a hat and ya know some shabby clothes. Truly no way he could be recognized. Yep, he's got it all figured out.

Oz decided to follow them home from a fair distance. Oz looked up to see the sunset. It was starting to get dark and Oz hated the dark, but he hated certain people who might harm those he loves even more. A little nyctophobia isn't gonna hurt.

Oz followed quietly until he noticed they stopped in front of a flat. It was her flat. Noe escorted her to the door like the gentleman he is and waved her good night. Oz had found a nice dark alleyway to hide in so he wouldn't be spotted.

Noe headed towards Oz's direction which caused Oz to hide deeper into the darkness. Oz bit his lip from the anxiety of being found and having some explaining to do. Like who was he kidding? This disguise was paper thin!

Noe looked like he was passing by Oz, then stopped. Oz froze. Oh god had he spotted him?

Before Oz could register what happened next, Noe had gone in a flash. Oz knew he was fast, but he couldn't see where he went.

It was then a grunt and the sound of what seemed to be something getting bashed against the wall behind Oz. Oz slowly turned to find Noe whose hand was pressing something against the wall.

It was then he grabbed whatever he was holding and slammed it again. Oz stared into the darkness to see his eyes glowing red to match the blood on his gloves.

After another slam, the clear sound of bone cracking from the impact could be heard. Noe dropped, what Oz could assume, the now lifeless body of the person he just killed.

Noe turned to see Oz and Oz froze. "Ok ok maybe he doesn't know it's you," Oz thought to himself. "Oh I know."

"Aye top of the morning to you," Oz did in his best Irish accent that he could muster.

Noe leaned down and inspected Oz. Oz could only look at Noe confused as Noe lifted Oz's arms and looked over Oz's face and the rest of his person.

Noe then gave a sigh of relief. "Good, I was afraid he had hurt you Oz," Noe said putting a hand on Oz's shoulder.

"Wait, you knew it was me," Oz said face turning hot.

"I mean, I'd recognize you from anywhere. You're not hard to miss," Noe pointed out.

"Oh uuu so what happened exactly," Oz asked now curious about the now lifeless elephant in the room.

Oz went to look at the supposed body only for Noe to yank him back and shook his head no.

"You're squeamish," Noe said taking his bloody glove off, putting his now bare hand on Oz's face,"I wouldn't look."

Oz shuddered taking Noe's advice.

"The man had been following you. I know of him. That vampire right there would have killed you where you stood if I hadn't done something," Noe said honestly.

Oz batted his lashes in shock taken aback. "I...almost died," Oz asked.

Noe nodded. "Fortunately, he doesn't kill in broad daylight, so I had to wait til night. I had just noticed him following you today. I don't know how long he's been doing it for, but if I had noticed earlier, he would have been dead on the first day," Noe nearly growled out. "I'd rather not have killed him in broad daylight either,ut if I had to, I would have," Noe wanted to point out. "If he had attacked you, I absolutely would have."(edited)

Oz turned pale. "W-wait, when did you notice I was...," Oz said not knowing how to word his next question.

"Following me," Noe asked for him, "Since I left the house. You're not exactly subtle."

Oz blushed. "Oh uh sorry I was just curious as to what your daily routine was like and then I noticed you had a female companion, so I was trying to see if you were safe," Oz said nervously.

"Her? She was lonely and needed company, so I obliged. She's a bit friendly, but so am I," Noe pointed out.

"So are you...interested in her? Dating her even," Oz asked getting to the point.

Noe shook his head. "Not in the slightest," Noe said heading towards the body making effort to cover it up. "I'll dispose of the body in a minute. Let's take the back ways so I'm not caught soaked in blood. I need to get you home," Noe said quickly leading him back.

"Wait what if someone finds it," Oz asked fearfully.

"This will be quick," Noe said picking up Oz and speeding off.

Oz could often forget how fast this unstoppable force of a man was.

A few minutes later, Oz was back on his doorstep. Oz rubbed the back of his neck looking towards Noe wondering what Noe was going to do now.

"Now, go inside and don't come check on me. I don't want to have to hide more bodies this evening should more make the fatal mistake of coming after you," Noe said waiting til Oz got to his door.

"Ok ok," Oz said opening his door.

Oz waved Noe off as he sped away to do the dirty work.

Later that night, Oz flopped over into the bed still registering the fact he just saw Noe Archiviste straight up body a man. The sweet, gentle lamb of a man just increased the body count this evening. The man was now a statistic in vampire based deaths. Truly mystifying.

Oz wanted to stay up and see if Noe was going to be ok. However, sleep took Oz before Oz could make any quick decisions. It had been a long day.

As Oz slept, Noe crept in with any blood soaked clothes supposedly disposed of. Noe bent down and ran his fingers through Oz's hair.

Noe's fingers drifted to Oz's pulse on his neck. Long has Noe fantasized about marking Oz's neck. The thought made him shiver, but he couldn't. He couldn't bare to do it with him possibly not consent as marking someone like that is a big deal.

Noe pressed a little more of the pulse of Oz's neck. The beat made Noe's heart race and what Noe could swear was drool. To be so intimate with Oz to the point he trusts Noe to drink his blood. It was enough to make him shiver.

Noe shook himself from these thoughts. He couldn't give in. Not without Oz's permission.

Noe got up quietly and shut Oz's door bedroom door behind him as he left. He couldn't bare to kiss Oz's face good night as he was afraid it would trigger something in him.

Noe fled out the door into the dead of night towards his place. He wouldn't let any harm come to Oz. Even if that danger was himself.

[lie---ability]

for too many times in my life had i been wrong about people. so much that anyone who tries to have anything with me makes me anxious. i even get anxious about my upcoming job at Virus & Partners because new people = chances of any of them hurting me. i have been wrong about people so much that i think it's because i idealize them so much. i mean an example could be us hanging out everyday, do a lot of things together, stay out late together, ditch others for each other, chat each other right after being together the entire day, say i love you and get home safe — and i'd think we're best friends!!! only for her to say we never were. and that she never wanted to be close with someone like me. so it must be me, right? maybe i just fell in love with the thought that she's a great best friend. at the same time i think, no. she was a best friend, she did exist. that version of her existed. or at least did when it was convenient or beneficial to her, but when the time came where it wasn't, she threw me under the bus, become totally different from who i loved. who i proudly said was my best friend. all those months that built up my comfort, trust, attachment — ended up being told as a lie. and if it came from the person herself that they were lies, who am i to say she's just saying that for whatever reason? she said it herself. we weren't best friends even if she said it before. so what was the truth? was i just really stupid and idealistic? or are people just so awful now? it's like i'm this fish in a pond who's so easy to catch with just the right amount of treat. like i'd swim away when you approach but try a bit more and i'd fall for it. attachment issues suck, more so my abandonment issues.

but this post isn't about jodie. this is about my first boyfriend, rikko.

first because rj doesn't count, the fuck? that shit was a joke lol i just got a dose of reality at an early age. no love there at all. who even falls in love at 13? that shit illegal. so yes, rikko is my first boyfriend ♥️ and even though i've dated guys before, he's the only one i ever loved so far. i love him so much. in fact, before i was already starting to think that maybe i'm not capable of love? i mean, i'm aware i'm a mean person. but i didn't think of myself as someone incapable of falling in love. but among the guys i met and dated, ALL OF THEM WERE JUST TO FEED MY EGO. ego ego ego. tell me i'm pretty. keep asking me to go out and let me reject you over and over again. show me how much you wanna take me out on a date again. over and over and all of them were unintended! when i do talk to someone, a part of me tries! maybe this could work? but it kept ending the same way. ego food. which led me to think fuckkk i'm incapable of loving too? what am i here for then tfuck? — until i met rikko! and everything he did and said, i wanted more of it. the more he laughed, the more he cried, i wanted to keep seeing them, even if he laughs/cries for the same reasons over and over. i wanted the things he wanted. i wanted to like the shit he liked, and i did! i hated touch but i love being held by him. he was expressive too! like the other boys! but for some reason, it wasn't ego food. they became credit scores for me. each time he gets a point, it adds up to my reasons why this is it! why this is worth a try! and i struggled and fought hard. the commitment and daddy issues, the anxiety, the fear of abandonment, blah blah and he did and said the right things at the right time he went at the right places, gave the right gifts, promised the right things — all for him to turn out to be just like everybody else. he died months into my life. he couldn't keep up with the character he played, and idk why people keep playing a character on me. jodie played the supportive bff but really wanted to be some sort of main character which i think is rather difficult hence the hurtful betrayal. and then there's rikko, who played the boy i could ever want, but never was that person. he never was that person to his parents and friends, and i thought he would suddenly change for me? that's some boss level pick me girl shit. i love rikko, even now as i type this. i met him january 2020, it's july 29, 2021 today, and i love him so much. but i'm not sure if i should be with him anymore. on principle, morals, self-care, common sense, logic, religion. why? because he died. he died last january 2021. he's no longer the same rikko i fell for. his hands aren't the ones i fought myself to hold. he's not the same person who went all the way from paranaque to cainta for me at 8pm because my dad told me he almost had another baby with someone ON MY BIRTHDAY. he's not the same person i looked at up at Sm Aura thinking he could be the one. and that i belong here, with him. that i love being with him, and he could be other things, but i want to be with him. he didn't know it, but looking at him as he talked about his friends, those things ran in my head. it was the same rikko who got teary eyed when he misunderstood me there at the Sm Aura rooftop, thinking i meant that i was just playing him. the rikko who gave me a necklace for no reason, wore it on me and even had it in a totally unsuspecting case (tea bag) which made the surprise funnier and cuter, is... yep... no longer here. the rikko who kept reminding me i'm redeemable, that i'm not my anxieties, i'm not my bad brain, i'm not my small voice, that rikko is long gone. and still i stayed waiting, making excuses, reasoning out with myself, trusting that he'd come back and funny enough, 7 months in and... he's still gone.

the saddest part is he doesn't want to be like that. or so i think. he tries. i see him trying. i see the efforts. he tries to ask me about my day, about my worries, why i'm anxious, why i'm sad or irritated. he asks me about work, applications and when i'm out with friends or family. he tries to make time for me even now that he prefers valorant over ml with me, i know he tries to play ml with me. he tries to take some time off work to talk to me. he tries to post on social media now, shares my ig stories, joins my tiktoks and get along with my jokes. he tries. i know he does. but that's the thing. he has to try. and maybe those things, he just isn't. and the difference between trying and develop is with development, there is direction. there is progress. with rikko... it's unstable. sometimes he can do this, but the next times not so sure. and as someone anxious with rejection and abandonment issues, inconsistencies are okay, but a lot of them? and major ones? NOTHING GOOD WILL COME OF IT. so many things rikko doesn't know and still he has it in him to say or assume a lot of things about me. one of them is when he said i'm ALWAYS annoyed at him. does he know how many times i get annoyed at things he do? but i don't address all of them not because i don't want to but because i acknowledge that they're not worth the fight or i'm just being hotheaded or immature or maybe inconsiderate. i think first before i act on him because if i learned anything about rikko, emotions have to make sense! which is wrong in the first place but that's who i'm with! but at the times i can't help being tampo, annoyed, or upset, he finds it in him to tell me i'm a l w a y s annoyed? WHEN?!?! i even asked him when and i know he realized it but still he fell stubborn to his pride. does he also know that his gifts don't make me kilig anymore? they just relieve me at this point which is sad!!! fucking sad!!! why? for example, for my virtual college graduation i was getting anxious few days before because i'm worried he won't give me anything or do something for me which will surely trigger my ~neglected issues~ and if i do get triggered, instead of addressing and being there for me, instead of making it up to me, he'd get mad! he'd make me feel that i'm asking for so much, for the impossible, all while i see it happen to people. i see other dudes give their girlfriends things without occasion. i see them try to like the things their girlfriends like, even embarrassing ones that she posts on social media. i see men constantly expressing their love for their gfs, for the person they asked to commit to them. all while i have one who would call me demanding, needy and exhausting. imagine? lol i get anxious he won't fulfill me not because i'd get sad but because he'll get mad when i get upset. he'd make me feel awful and remind me of the reason why we should end. and i hate that. i'm fighting so hard to take it off my mind, i hate thinking that we're incompatible, unhappy and that we're just trying to revive this love we have for each other. that love really isn't enough, even for us. so when he got me this bouquet for graduation, i was 95% relieved and 5% kilig because awwwww but more importantly, I WON'T BE TAMPO WHICH MEANS I WON'T HAVE TO HIDE AND HE WON'T HAVE TO GET ANNOYED AT ME BEING UPSET! as i type this all the more i feel bad because it's so clear i shouldn't be with him anymore. it hurts each time it crosses my mind. i really see rikko as the love of my life. and idk why. because he shouldn't be. the love of your life should be someone who makes you laugh, makes you strong but can also let you cry. the love of your life is the one who holds you on your way out of dark times. the love of your life is the one who corrects you in ways that won't make you feel bad, but in ways that make you feel cared for. that he's telling you so out of concern, not because he thinks you're a difficult sick mental person who needs an on-call therapist and an attending nurse. the love of your life should be the person who makes you cry the least.

but he doesn't deserve it also. maybe he's not ready to be in a relationship just yet. and there was no harm in trying. in fact i'm happy he tried because if he hadn't added me on facebook and hit up on instagram, i would have never known what love was like. i would also have never known how fun and exciting it is to be in love. it's so nice actually! to lie down with someone and just know they'll be there when you wake up and even if you do wake up in the middle of the night, you're safe with them. and no matter what you look like in the morning or how loud you snore or how stretched you are in bed, you are loved by this person next to you. and they chose to sleep with you too. to be as vulnerable as you are. and i loved that with rikko. we sleep together, we wake up in between sleep just to look for each other's cheeks, we shower together, we do weird shower dances, we have secret baby things, and a lot more things that you would think from here on meant forever. because these things, how could you ever try them again with someone else? because from where i am right now I HATE THE THOUGHT OF THOSE WITH ANYONE WHO'S NOT RIKKO. but stay with him for what? for what at this point? i'm not God. i'm just an anxious person with daddy issues who has enough money hunger and dreams plus a mom, aunts and 1 friend who loves rikko so much. i can't change him. and i shouldn't.

[leahxx129]

Feels Like Home: The Truth (pt.5/final part) (Hvitserk x Reader)

Alright, so this is the final part to the Feels Like Home series. I know this was promised like 2 months ago but as I explained in a previous post - a break from Tumblr was essential for me. I hope you like the finale. :) Also, I inserted a ‘Keep Reading’ line, hopefully it’ll be visible to all of you.

Summary for pt.5: The raid was a roaring success and finally it’s time for you to explain everything to Hvitserk. The question is - will he be able to forgive you?

Warnings: description of homicide, cursing

Word count: 2.030-ish

Read PART1, PART2, PART3 and PART4.

* Moodboard is mine, images used are not. *

In the end, the raid turned out to be a roaring success. You made it out alive and as far as Ivar was concerned, the treasury’s content lived up to the stories he had heard, and he drained the place to the last coin.

Now, on your way back to Kattegat, you have some newly acquired thralls heat up two kegs of drinking water and fill the wooden tub in your cabin with it. Usually you can wait with the post-battle bath until you get home but this time you wish to cleanse yourself as soon as possible. The hot water makes your muscles relax and you catch yourself falling asleep when a soft knock on your door brings you back to consciousness.

“Come on in!” you signal your visitor to enter after stepping out of the tub and wrapping a cloth around your body.

Hvitserk’s face lights up at your sight.

“You are the only person I know who can conquer a land and still look breathtaking afterwards.” he says, earning a shy smile from you.

“Haven’t your father taught you that it is not decent to lie?”

“He has and I am not lying! Are you questioning my honesty yet again?”

“I would never dare do such a thing!”

You both chuckle and he pulls you into a tight hug. A familiar scent fills his nostrils – could he be imagining it, or your hair does smell like the wildflowers from the meadow?

“Ready to tell me everything?” he whispers sometime later, and you lean away to look into his eyes.

“No. But I made a promise and I always keep my word. Are you ready?”

He nods, then sits down on a chair next to the table and draws you into his laps. Looking into his eyes and knowing what you are about to say makes your chest ache, but you clear your throat and begin anyway.

“Do you remember the feast you had thrown for Ubbe’s birthday, just one full moon’s time before I left?”

“I do.”

“And do you remember how sick I felt during the feast?”

“Yes, I do. You had too much cherry wine so consequently I escorted you home to rest.”

You place a hand on the side of his face and caress his cheek with your thumb affectionately.

“It was not the cherry wine that made me feel sick, my love.” Your voice is laced with emotion, barely above whisper.

He knits his eyebrows in confusion, but it is only a matter of seconds and the wrinkles start relenting as he realizes the meaning behind your words.

“Were you… were you with child?”

You nod and an excited, breathy laughter escapes his mouth. You try to memorize the sound of it as you are uncertain you will ever hear it again once you tell him the rest of the story.

Seeing you don’t share his joy, his happiness vanishes just as fast as it came.

“What is it, Y/N? What happened to my child?”

You get up from his lap, fill your cup and empty its content within seconds. Then repeat the whole procedure all over again, not minding the peculiar look you get from Hvitserk. There is no way you can get through this sober. Once you are done with your second round, you wipe your mouth and continue.

“My father found out I was carrying your child and I have never seen him more furious than that. He respected Ragnar, but he also believed that by making so many enemies, Ragnar created an environment not fit for a child, especially not fit for his grandchild. So he pulled some strings - granted a wish here, asked for a favor there – and ended up shipping me to England in order to marry an ambitious Saxon king.”

“King Willelmus?”

“Yes, him. At first, he was the perfect gentlemen a young girl in trouble such as myself could wish for. But then time passed and he began to reveal his true colors… Remember the strikes in the cell? I carved those with my nails after he’d imprisoned me there. He visited me every day and laughed in my face for believing he would welcome the bastard son of a pagan whore.”

Hvitserk’s face grows more somber with every word that leaves your lips and you can barely resist the urge to throw back another drink.

“Not very long after the imprisonment I delivered the baby, our son, and King Wil-“ your voice cracks and that’s when you realize you’ve been crying. After a few deep breaths you continue “… and King Willelmus strangled him in front of my eyes. A nun witnessed this and when I recovered, she gave me some gold and some silver, and she helped me escape. I travelled all around the world, came to know different cultures and different fighting styles – all in order to seek vengeance one day. And that’s what I did today.”

The silence that ensues screams louder than anyone you have ever heard dying in battle.

“Why?” Hvitserk finally speaks up, not looking at you.

“Why what?”

He elevates his gaze slowly and you can see he’s like a volcano, seconds away from erupting.

“Why did you not come back to Kattegat and tell me whAT HAPPENED?!” he roars the last word, making you flinch. “Was I unworthy of the truth, huh?! Did I do something to deserve being left out of avenging mY OWN SON?! We could have done it years ago and we could have brought many more sons into this world ever since!”

“Hvitserk, calm down and let me expl-“

Before you can finish, he jumps to his feet, knocking back the chair he’s been sitting on and grabs you by the throat.

“Hvitserk… I-I can’t… breathe…” you try to plead with him to no avail. His grip is firm and strong.

“You know, here I thought I was favored by the Gods since they gave me a second chance with you… but it turns out they are just taunting me…” he whispers, his mind still visibly clouded by rage. “Tell me, why did you come back to Kattegat now, really? Was it honestly your father’s death or did you know about the raid?”

Though you don’t say – you can’t say – anything, your eyes give away the answer.

“Just what I assumed.”

Suddenly he lets go of you and you fall to the ground. He is about to storm out the door when you call after him with a hoarse voice.

“Hvitserk! You promised you would take good care of my heart, but now you are breaking it…”

He takes a quick, pitiful glance at you.

“I don’t believe there is anything I am breaking right now. In fact, I doubt there ever was anything I could have taken good care of!”

He slams the door shut so hard it almost falls off.

You just lie there on the ground at the exact spot you fell on and stare into the void, trying to comprehend what just happened. Then a scream makes its way out of your lungs and you begin banging one of your palms against the wooden floor until you feel no pain, just see the blood.

A huge hand covers yours to stop you from doing any more harm.

Bjorn.

You just look at him for a while, not knowing what to say.

“Have you been eavesdropping, Bjorn?” you finally decide on something and a sad, lopsided smile forms on his face.

“No. You and Hvitserk were so loud I believe the whole crew heard it – except maybe for the warriors that were deafened in the fight.”

“I’m not in the mood for jesting, Bjorn.” You try to sound menacing but the tears streaming down your face undermine your plan.

“I know. I’m not here for the jokes, I’m here for the tears.”

He pulls you into his chest, muffling your cries and sobs.

Hvitserk is sitting in the Great Hall, looking at the plate in front of him with no appetite. What is wrong with him? The music is too loud, the cheerful people annoy him and not even the food or the mead interest him at the slightest.

“What is wrong, big brother? Why aren’t you enjoying the celebration? We came back richer than ever. You could at least drink to that!” Ivar’s words shake him back from his own thoughts.

He pulls a face at his little brother, raises his horn and starts drinking from it.

“See? That wasn’t so hard, now was it? The more you do that the less you’ll feel upset about Y/N leaving Kattegat.”

Hvitserk almost chokes on the ale.

“What did you just say?” he questions Ivar while wiping his mouth.

“I said Y/N is leaving. She said she had no business here anymore, so she intends to sail away.”

“It’s true.” Bjorn chips in. “But I think that if you hurry, you might be able to stop her from doing so.”

Hvitserk’s heart has never beaten faster than now, not even when he went on his first raid ever.

What should he do? Should he go after you? Or let you go? What do the Gods want?

Suddenly, Ubbe’s words start echoing in his ears ���Let me tell you what I see! I see a miserable man drenching in his own self-pity and insecurities and only the Gods know how tired I am of it! Gods, Hvit, do you even understand what is going on here? She was taken away from you, but fate is offering a second chance! Do you know how rare that is?’.

He stands up abruptly and runs out of the Great Hall.

Hvitserk considers himself fit but by the time he gets to the docks there is almost no air in his lungs. And even that little what remained gets knocked out by an invisible force once he discovers that your ship is gone.

“No... no, no, no!” he whispers frantically to himself as his eyes start watering.

This must be a deception. You cannot be gone. Not again.

He feels like the rug has been pulled out from under his feet and he almost tumbles.

What is he to do now? He can’t go back to the feast.

His legs start working before his brain does. After a considerable amount of walking they stop and Hvitserk finds himself in the meadow of wildflowers. 

In the middle there’s you, illuminated by the moonlight, resembling a goddess now more than ever.

“Y/N? Is that you? I-I thought you sailed away.”

You turn around at the sound of your name and your eyes go wide.

“Hvitserk? I-I intended to but I just simply could not. I felt like I needed to be here. But what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at the feast?”

He rushes to you wordlessly, cups your face and presses his lips to yours forcefully.

“I am so sorry for not hearing you out, min elskede!” he says, gasping for air once you break the kiss. “And for all the things I said! I did not mean any of it!”

“No, no, no! Do not apologize! I should be the one begging for your forgiveness because of all the things I have done and all the things I haven’t… I believed for the longest time that a feeble woman like me who couldn’t even protect her own son would never be a worthy wife to you in the eyes of the Gods, and-”

He places his index finger on your lips to prevent you from completing your sentence.

“You were always worthy of me and I was always worthy of you. We were fated to be together. Do you know why I’m certain?” he pulls you closer so that your figure melts into his. “Because this feels like home. It always has and always will.”

You stand there like that, embracing each other in the moonlight for only the Gods know how long.

But time does not really matter, now does it?

You have a lifetime ahead of you and even after that, you will spend an eternity together in Valhalla.

[tokidokitrash]

It’s been quite awhile since the previous post and I’m sorry!

I actually wrote this awhile back, but lacked the courage to post it.

I’m someone who is quite insecure and scared of how people might view me and my writings online.

But today I decided to just post this anyway-it’s June and Seven’s birthday is coming up— heck it!

I’m sorry it’s so long , and we aren’t at a conclusion yet- I’m just writing whatever comes to mind kinda and I’m grateful to any who reads it- your notes are such an encouragement, however small.

Also, amidst these crazy times, I hope you are all well, stay healthy, remember to eat!

——————————————————————————————-

The way we are - 02

Seven is left standing outside her door. He’s pretty lost for words at this point, which is rare for a smart mouthed genius like himself.

He has to admit, he feels better after laughing like that -it was cathartic, but after listening to what she just said, seeing her smile like she was entirely broken inside, he can’t help but feel that he’s lost something very, very important in that moment.

He’s realised she was probably crying.

And that it was most definitely his fault.

Pangs of guilt worked his their way up his mind, as his heart aches at the thought that he’s given someone as cheery as her so much sadness over his demeanour.

She had always been so strong, so happy. Shining with the brilliance of the sun with every step she took. Always seemed like nothing in life could bring her down. True, she was a little weird, with her adorable exclamations of excitement over what would seem to be the most mundane of things. How he’d catch her standing outside the apartment for a spell, start to worry she’d seen something or someone that could cause her any harm....only to realise she’d be staring adoringly at a pigeon who’d made his way down the corridor. She seemed to be delighted by any little critter or creature, and that part of her, he adored.

She was such a sweet creature herself.

He’d sometimes catch himself distracted by the CCTVs, ever on a lookout for a glimpse of you, eager to see if he could decipher what had caught your interest that day.

And oh, how his heart would swell whenever you returned to the apartment, no matter how distracted you’d be, or how many bags you were holding after a trip to the grocery store... you’d always find time to look up at the cameras and flash him a beaming smile, giving him a little wave or wink. He’d sometimes find himself giving you a wave back, blowing a kiss or two, despite knowing full well you’d never know this. You were just so, so cute, he felt his heart would burst at the seams and implode on him due to an overload of cute.

While he might be greedy for more of your attention, he savoured those little, minute, unseen interactions with you.

The incident with ‘unknown’ was the turning point.

Seeing that precious girl in danger once was too much for a lifetime.

How could he have let this happen? Was he just incapable to protecting those he cared about?

His mind entered overdrive at the realisation that Unknown was none other than his sweet younger twin Saeran, whom he’d always longed to reunite with someday.

But never in his wildest, sickest imaginings did he want a reunion like this.

Saeran, who stood before him, a completely different man. Gone was the timid, sweet boy- in his place was a twisted man whom the world had hurt too much...and it was all his fault- he failed to protect his brother .

So many unanswered questions reeled in his head, he was having the worse headaches of his life. Trying to piece together the massive puzzle that was unfurling right before his eyes. If there is indeed a god, he was being awful.

In the days he spent at MC’s place, frustration and growing anger seeped into his very core. The complications between Rika, V and Mint Eye...and how....what happened to Saeran?? Then there was the anger at himself... at how put MC in danger. He had nearly let his bright, shining flame get snuffed out.

All this was too much, he was slipping off his 707 persona, whether he wanted to or not. Telling himself it was for the best, he started pushing MC away, first treating her coldly, with disdain, as he tried his best to pour himself into the work.

Next came the harsh words lashed out towards her fuelled by his own frustrations.. Or just ignoring her, or just telling her she was being an annoyance, disrupting his work.

Yet she still always came to him, like she was pulled towards him by an unseen force.

Sometimes, all she wanted to do was sit close to him, watch him work.

Other times, she would make small talk, peppering the conversations with little jokes, trying her utmost best to lighten the mood.

She always seemed to have her eye on him, watching over him. Often fetching him some dr.pepper or honey Buddha chips, or, you know, proper food and water so he doesn’t die of malnourishment.

Once, he had accidentally dozed off mid-work, and woke to the feel of a blanket placed on his back. Then, being the jerk he is, he told her not to bother with him and leave him alone, to stop wasting her time on him, before grabbing the blanket and hurling it across the room, startling her.

Regret sank in immediately when he thought he saw her eyes glisten with the threat of tears... he saw her lips force themselves into a tight smile, the she pouts a little, rolls her eyes just ever so slightly, clearly trying to lighten the mood. “Alright, alrighttt, sorry!!” She exclaims as she gingerly pick up the blanket- folding it neatly before placing it in the couch next to him...”jusssst in case, alright? “ she says in a whisper , before adding “.....Please take care of yourself.”

He just ignored her the rest of that night.

He hated that even in this crazy situation where he’s already decided to push MC away for her safety, she still made his heart glow with a slight warmth whenever he saw how much she cared for him.

Since the day after the incident, he realised she truly was a strange one. She seemed flighty, almost airheaded at times, like when her curiosity got the better of her and she touched the floppy disk containing all the photos he had of Saeran, leading Seven to lash out at her and tell her to mind her own business for the umpteen time...

Yet there where times she seemed acutely sharp, always seemingly able to see through his 707 persona- to look deep within him and see Saeyoung.

‘No. What she was attracted to was the 707 she could fool around with in the chat rooms. Not this horrible person I truly am...not Saeyoung.’

Heading back to his corner, Seven tried to settle back into work.. but his thoughts keep bringing him back to MC. He had never wanted to see her like this. He recalls what he managed to see in that short moment they had eye contact- the reddened, swollen eyes, tear-stained face. It ripped his heart to shreds knowing he did this to her.

During that moment, there was a part of him that wanted nothing more than to apologise to her, scoop her up in his arms and kiss all the tears away, whispering apologies and sweet nothings to her as he showed her that he cared for her just as deeply as she did him.

On the other hand, the other side of him wanted to bolt out of the apartment. So that he could never hurt her again- that way she could forget about him sooner.

At this very moment, all he could think about was how much of a jerk he was- how he really could never stand in the sun with someone as radiant as her.

He was filth.

Head pounding, he sighs, slipping his headphones on- well aware this might make his headache worse, but he still blasts the music anyway, as though he’s looking for some internal form of self-punishment.

Minutes had probably turn to hours, the sun had long since risen, already hanging a little lower in the sky. Seven cracks open another can of Dr.pepper, his tongue a little numb from the constant combination of Honey Buddha chips and his favourite beverage. Idly he realises the last proper meal he had ......was the same time as MC’s. That fact makes him straighten up. He had at least some semblance of nourishment over these last two days- what about her?

He started to feel ashamed of his actions, more so, his inactions. Had he truly been so wrapped up with work and trying to push her away, that he failed to check if her basic needs were met? Whipping out the phone that had been stowed away in his oversized hoodies’ pockets, he fires off a private message to her.

- ‘Are U awake?’

...he stares at the phone expectantly, waiting for her reply.

Only the reply doesn’t come.

‘...maybe she’s asleep. ‘ He quietly thinks to himself. The idea to hack into her phone crosses his mind, but he stops himself. If he does hack into her phone, not only would it be a telling sign of his occupational hazards, it might also be a serious breach of her trust....but from the way she used to flirt with him on the messenger, she sure gave the impression that she might not be totally against the idea of him sneaking a peek or two at her.

He brushes the thought away, absentmindedly rubs his face and ugh, he feels greasy and gross- he himself was in dire need of a shower, as he’d clearly neglected himself these last few days- well, maybe the days before these as well. The man took terrible care of himself once the momentum of work was in full swing.

Phone still clutched in his left hand, he starts looking up food delivery options. He couldn’t care less about himself, but was growing more concerned about MC- he won’t have her starving herself, not on his watch! He mutters the various food options he sees on the screen, wondering what would be a good choice. “........bibimbap? Kimbap? Ah maybe something different like western or....fast food?.........hnnnnnn Indian food? What would it be.....hmmmmm...”

“WOAHH”

Her voice booms from the phone and he yelps, fumbling about with the phone. He quickly holds the phone against his ear.

“is this a miracle?! Are you finally going to eat something?!” She exclaims, voice a littler higher due to excitement and he winces from the loud volume, pulling the phone away slightly.

“MC?? How come you’re on the pho- ahhh. I did it again didn’t I?? Ahhhhhhh I need to stop dialling you ahhhhhhh” he groans as he slaps his forehead. The sound elicits giggles from her, and his heart does little somersaults in response.

“Dawwwww did you truly miss little old me thaaattt much?”

Why Yes. Yes he did.

“I know choosing what to eat might be difficult.... but you didn’t have to call y’know- cause ...dundundun! Here I am!”

Right as she says that, the door to her room swings open and she jumps out of the room, one arm up in the air, the other holding the phone to her ear, presenting herself. To Seven, it seems like light has returned, and she’s brought a gust of fresh air with her- her joyful bearings seemed to alleviate that pounding headache he’s been having. Only now does he realise that he’s finally relaxed his furrowed brow.

“Ta-dahhhh~!” She says, and Seven can’t resist clapping for her, then mentally slapping himself for going along with her antics. Hadn’t he resolved to push her away, not show the slightest form of affection for her? But ahhh, how could he have possibly resisted that??

She brings her arm down and does a little bow for him, then patters over towards his corner, dressed in a large, long sleeved shirt and pyjama bottoms with animal prints all over. Her short umber hair a messy cloud, sticking up in weird tufts, being uncooperative with her as she gently combs through her bed-head. Being so stupidly adorable- he notes. As she nears him, she stills herself, before awkwardly sitting at the far end of the couch. “So, uh, I’m here to....help?” She says as she smiles widely, exaggerating for him. He resists the urge to chuckle, and tries to go back to his ‘serious, no nonsense, leave-me-alone’ persona...then he remembers whatever happened during his last interaction with her, and tells himself that he doesn’t have to be that much of an ass. He clears his throat, noting that her eyes were now downcast, but always sneaking glances at him.

“Well, I guess it’s good you’re here, I was about to order food for us-speaking of which, I hope you aren’t starving yourself. You shouldn’t bother with me, but you should make sure to eat, to take care of yourself, or the rest would worry about you..”

“Hmm, I know! You don’t have to worry about me too, Seven~” she sighs “I can handle myself too.” Her voice seemed laced with a barely noticeable tinge of sadness at that last statement.

Worried, Seven finds himself at a loss for words, he hadn’t had time to think about how to act around her, and as the awkward atmosphere nearly makes a comeback, her belly makes its presence known on cue with a small, but audible rumble. A slight pink blossoms on her cheeks, and they stare at each other, before casting a sheepish look his way.

“bibimbap sounds good right about now though...”

He darts his eyes away from her and disguises his chuckle as a grunt,signalling his approval in her choice, rapidly scrolling away on his laptop, searching for bibimbap...and it takes every fibre of his being maximum effort to hold back the laugh that nearly escaped him, as her blush turns from pink to scarlet.

——————-

Thank you again for reading! And thank you to @emberchoihan for your comment on my previous post :)

[salavante]

Grey Solidago!

(lol this one was from Jake but he forgot to turn anon off. I’m making ye way through these and will probably post the rest later today or tomorrow - I got Pat and Aesop to go and might just do one more headshot of my choice to make it an even number)

Full Name: Grey Solidago

Gender and Sexuality: Female & Bisexual

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: Grey is a half-Anubii (also known as a Zeke) and a hemilich. Her father, Jonquil, is a full blooded anubii, a race of odd, magically reanimated corpses of unknown origin, and her mother, Hare, is a human. Hare is also ethnically an Ashkenazi jew.  

Birthplace and Birthdate: Maybe sometime in September. Could have been born in either The Tidelands (ranging from coastal sage scrub to salt marshes and deltas/swamps) or The Green (temperate rainforest and boreal pines to taiga).

Guilty Pleasures: Definitely smoking, a bad habit she picked up from her dad. Not really a guilty pleasure, but I also think that her tastes in music are a lot more varied than people would expect, and she can probably find something she likes in any genre she investigates.

Phobias: Nothin really man! Grey is actually the most “normal” and well adjusted of the Solidago children, which still means she’s kind of creepy and peculiar by average standards. She doesn’t like feeling vulnerable or like things are out of her control, and she is good at compartmentalizing her doubts and anxieties. There is a certain, intense rage inside her that is kept under a cool exterior, and inflicting grievous harm on someone who she feels deserves it is not something that troubles her very much. I suppose she may fear taking things too far and doing something very cruel, because she knows she has the ability and emotional capacity to do it.

What They Would Be Famous For: Grey is a fine artist who does very big, lush oil paintings, and while not famous, is notable and has had gallery shows of her work. Grey’s usual job is accompanying adventuring parties to strange locals and then illustrating them in action and doing charcoal studies of ruins/landscapes/etc, as editorial material for the various publications on adventuring and dungeon diving. She’s become a handful of magazines’ go-to gal. Her work is mostly representational, and she seldom makes a piece without doing lots of studies first, but she leans heavy into chiaroscuro and has big, juicy brush strokes. Words often used to describe her work are “eerie”, “haunting” or “intense”.

What They Would Get Arrested For: Probably something really benign like trespassing or going somewhere without a proper permit, Grey is pretty lawful, both of her parents are in a law enforcement esque occupation. They run a very organized adventurer’s guild, effectively, that will cooperate with local law enforcement to catch run of the mill criminals in addition to tackling monsters or liches or what have you.

OC You Ship Them With: Wybjorn has a tiny baby crush on her because he gets crushes on anyone who’s moderately nice to him, but he’s a little too goofy for her, she’s not into it. Grey’s in an awkward bracket of characters because they are kind of our third gen group and there’s only so many of them in the 20-30 range (Grey is 23). She’s also kind of an intense lady, I keep using that word but it fits. Canonically, we’re going to see how Grey and Ozzy fare when we get around to Mindrunner II, the sequel to Ozzy’s original campaign. They weirdly hit it off during Godslaughter, I think they’re both very intellectual people and counterbalance one another very well. Ozzy has a partner already, their name is Rosemary, but Ozzy has two hands.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Jovix-Cailo, probably. He did kill Lysander and broke Grey’s leg. Otherwise she hasn’t really done anything to invoke someone’s ire. Jovix-Diocunigast might also kill her in the final fight, we shall see (I wrote this before the game was over, he didn’t!).

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Grey likes slow burn ghost stories, psychological horror, true crime documentaries, mysteries and thrillers. She’d like “I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House”, “Twin Peaks” and Agatha Christie. She probably reads short story anthologies and paperbacks when she’s on the road for her job.  Anything with well paced tension will hold her interest, but she may tolerate poor writing as long as the visuals in a movie or TV show are good.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: I honestly don’t think she’d treat something with disdain or vitriol like some other characters might, I think she’s pretty good at ignoring stuff that she doesn’t like in terms of media. Not a big fan of slashers or more fantastical horror, she has pretty well defined tastes, and dislikes your usual bouquet of mainstream film genres (romcoms, action, etc). I do think that one thing she truly does not like is any cartoon with singing in it, which is probably something she has to moderately tolerate because she has a young niece.

Talents and/or Powers: Grey has a mostly utility build with a focus on stacking debuffs and interrupting other people’s attacks. She doesn’t have any really big, damage dealing abilities, but she’s meant to support more potent DPS by wearing down bosses with status afflictions. In fiction this manifests as a handiness at weaving curses. As mentioned before, she is also a pretty skilled painter, with her preferred mediums as charcoal, ink wash and oils.

Why Someone Might Love Them: Strong willed, confident, intelligent and classy - Grey has perhaps had self confidence issues in the past, she was kind of a weird looking, gangly child/teenager, but she really owns herself now. She knows what she likes and dislikes and makes her preferences very obvious, and though she doesn’t make jokes very often, has a good sense of humor (which she got from her mom) though it can be kind of dry/morbid. She’s rather private and has an air of mystery about her and a slight eeriness that some may find enticing. She also refuses to stand idly by when there is injustice in her presence, for better or for worse. 

Why Someone Might Hate Them: She can come off as uncaring or cold, and definitely has a terminal case of Resting Bitch Face. Any hiccups in her success in the art world are caused by her being uncompromising with her integrity, and a reluctance to play nice peers and art directors just for the sake of networking or getting a job. Being disingenuous feels counterintuitive to her sense of ethics. And while that’s all well and good, it makes her difficult to work with, and has made her miss out on some opportunities she may have benefitted from. Her bluntness has made her unpalatable to many, and some may see her as being stuck up. She also does not react well to people approaching her with aggression or snideness, and will retaliate ferociously.

How They Change: Honestly, not a lot, she’s pretty stable. Grey has mostly functioned in an NPC capacity up until this point, so there haven’t really been any stories focused on her. Prior to her extra dimensional shenanigans with her half-brother, she had kind of a strained relationship with her mom, who’s she’s since gained a lot more respect and compassion for. They’re on much better terms now. She also started out not liking Ozzy very much and thought he was kind of a weiner, but, they’re very good friends now after having some pretty harrowing experiences together.

Why You Love Them: She’s my only character who’s actually an artist. I don’t tend to like making characters who, well, do what I do. I love illustrating but what I do is still a lot of hard work and I like to take breaks from it. Generally speaking, I prefer to insert my creativity and drive into characters that make things with their hands but don’t make visual art per say. It’s why a lot of my characters are scientists and engineers. So I think it’s a unique connection to have.

[hope-for-olicity]

Fictober18 #11 - “But I will never forget!”

This is today’s entry for fictober. I’m going to try to post a short story every day during October based on a quote provided by the organizer of Fictober18. All stories will be from Arrow based on the Olicity Fandom.  

Today’s quote is “But I will never forget!” This is a really sad one. It’s about Felicity is not dealing with Oliver being in prison. Also available on AO3.

Felicity thought the night they took Oliver to prison would be the worse night of her life - she was wrong - it was every night her husband was away.

Oliver always told her that he slept better when she was by his side. But Felicity soon learned she couldn’t sleep without Oliver. If she did sleep, she dreamt of him. Like some cruel joke, only to wake up and rediscover she had lost him.

She knew she was falling apart. She was trying so hard to keep it together for William’s sake. He deserved one parent he could count on. Felicity tried. She really did, she was burning the candle at both ends.

Initially, she and William had been in a safe house in the country but Diaz found them. The ARGUS team was able to protect them but after they were discovered, Felicity fought hard to move back to their home in Star City. She literally ached for Oliver and all of Oliver’s things were in Star City.

Felicity began her day pretending to be okay. She’d get William ready then off to school. She would always put up a brave front for him. Although, it felt he was pulling further away from her. She knew part of it was being a teenage boy not wanting his Stepmom hovering, she felt the sting of rejection all the same.

When William wasn’t with her she focused on finding a way to free Oliver, finding Diaz and doing some small IT jobs from home to bring money in. Due to Oliver’s decision to reveal to the world that he was the Green Arrow, she and William faced a lot of scrutiny, sometimes outright attacks when they left the house. John brought William to and from his private school. At first, William told her about encounters with the public, now when she asked he said everything was fine, code for leave me alone.

Yes, some people thanked Felicity for the Arrow’s service but you truly never knew which way it was going to go. And it’s not like she was in a positive state of mind. John tried to get her to leave the house. She did everything she could to avoid interacting with people. She felt broken, like half of her was missing. She just wanted to be alone. No one really understood what she was going through. Her husband chose to leave her for prison. He chose and she ached.

Felicity knew she wasn’t taking care of herself. She put in an effort to set an example when William was around but when he wasn’t - she frequently didn’t eat, she drifted between staring into space thinking about her husband or sobbing on the floor.

Until one day, the lack of sleep, food and stress caught up with her. She collapsed.

*****

John usually just dropped William off after school but today he felt the need to go check on Felicity, it was like a gut feeling. William unlocked the door, headed straight for his room. John walked in “Felicity?” He called out again when she didn’t respond, maybe she was in the shower. He began wondering into the loft, it took him just a moment to find her unconscious body on the kitchen floor.

He raced over to Felicity. John was relieved when he found a weak pulse. He quickly looked for signs of self-harm, he knew Felicity was not okay. He called 911. “William,” he really didn’t want to add more to the boy’s plate but he was going to notice when the paramedics arrived.

William must have heard John’s tone because he rushed to the kitchen. “Oh My God, Felicity!” He stood back in the kitchen door with a look of horror. “Is she dead?”

“No,” John quickly reassured him. “She has a pulse. I called an ambulance. Get your stuff, you’re coming with us.”

William raced away to get his stuff. John saw the fear in his eyes, he wished he could comfort Oliver’s boy but right now he had to hold onto Felicity. How could have let this happen?

*****

John knew Felicity was not okay right from the start. He saw her puffy eyes, dark circles beneath from lack of sleep. She looked gaunt.  He arguing with Lyla that they needed to give her time. She just lost her husband, they should cut her some slack. But looking at her in a hospital bed hooked up to machines he knew he was wrong. He should have stepped in. He would never forgive himself for this.

Lyla had taken a shaken William back to their place a few hours ago. John needed to stay. He needed Felicity to know she was not alone. She had him.

It was close to midnight before Felicity finally stirred. John wasn’t sure if it happened or just wishful thinking on his part at first, the room was dimly lit. Then he heard her low voice, “Oliver?”

“Felicity, it’s me, John. I’m here.” John pulled his chair closer to the bed.

A look of anguish crossed her face as she remembered. “Oh right, Oliver is gone.” She turned her face away, a tear slipped down her cheek.

“Yes, Oliver is in prison. But I’m here, William is with Lyla but he’s here for you too. Felicity, you are not alone. Do you hear me? You are not alone.” John really needed Felicity to hear him.

Felicity nodded.

“I found you collapsed at home. The doctors say you were dehydrated and exhausted. You have to stay in the hospital until your counts are back to normal. After that, we are going to talk about how I can best help you. Sitting here, I was thinking maybe we could ask Raisa to come back to help.” John felt hopeful as he offered her the solution.

“Maybe,” Felicity didn’t want to admit that she couldn’t afford Raisa. She could barely afford to feed her and William. Money was very tight. It’s not like they paid the Mayor while he was in jail and the business she started with Curtis went caput with Oliver’s reveal.

John knew there was more to that maybe. “Felicity, you need to let someone in. I’m here. I can be your person. I’m not saying, forget Oliver.”

“But I will never forget! I never forget, Oliver ever. And I don’t want to. It just hurts so much that he chose to leave us, leave me. He left me. All I see when I shut my eyes is him.” Felicity began to cry in earnest.

Diggle couldn’t stop himself, he pulled Felicity into a hug. He let her sob on his shoulder. “Oh Felicity, we are going to do everything we can to bring him back to you. I know you have been trying to stay strong for William but who has been strong for you? It should have been me. I know that now. I’m not going anywhere, Felicity. We’ll work together to bring Oliver home.”

Felicity pulled back to look her friend in the eye. “It’s not your fault, John. Please, understand If you had tried to be there for me I would have pushed you away. I wasn’t ready, I’m still not. But I have to get better for William. We both need Oliver back, John.”

John smiled. “Then that’s what we are going to do.”

Hope you enjoyed. I’m going to tag a few people. Let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged!

@mindramblingsfics @memcjo @mel-loves-all @wherethereissmoak @green-arrows-of-karamel @spaztronautwriter @wrldtravler @tdgal1@vaelisamaza @oliverfel4 @lucyyh @swordandarrow @smoaking-greenarrow @it-was-a-red-heeler @miriam1779 @coal000 @blondeeoneexox  @laurabelle2930 @loutendiena @oliverandhisqueen @crys4728

[theshapeshifter100]

Guess What? I’m Not a Robot Ch42

Summary: Jericho and Android Allies talk, and Paul actually gets annoyed.

Chapter warnings: mentions of being shot, some strong language

Word Count: 1,588

11PM Monday 15th November 2038

The small space didn’t actually have that many chairs. Allison didn’t give a damn and sat down in one, while the rest of the humans either felt too awkward or just decided not to bother.

“Okay, er,” for once Alex sounded a little unsure. “Megan has a lot of the numbers written down, and is usually our note taker. Megan, are you...” Alex trailed off as they realised that Megan had already made herself comfortable. She sat propped against the wall using her knees as a table. Her sling was tucked against her chest and she scribbled out a title with her right hand. “... Are you good to go?”

Megan clicked the pen a couple of times and nodded, sending a thumbs up to the group around the pen. All without looking up.

Alex looked at Paul for a second, who nodded and shrugged. This wasn’t exactly surprising.

“Ooookay,” Alex turned back to the main group. “What would you like to start with?”

“We’ve been out of the loop for a few days,” Markus admitted, “can you tell us about the outside world?”

“Yeah, President Warren’s been hiding behind Congress as they try and figure things out. Not much has happened yet, although there has been word of an anti android protest being planned in Washington next week.”

“We’re so crashing it,” Allison smirked.

“Do you have the numbers for that?” Markus asked, concerned. “Connor told me there was only a few of you.”

“Megan, numbers?” Alex prompted, and Megan complied, staring resolutely at her pad of paper.

“Several thousand people responded to the anti android post across the country, which isn’t that many really if we compare to the total US population. Currently Android Allies has three chapters. Detroit has ten, California has ninety and thirty in Alabama. We’ve gathered some in the Phoenix and general Arizona area, but no official count yet. There’s some international support from Europe, but they have so far been silent.”

“So, not enough to crash a protest,” Markus summarised.

“We can counter protest,” Ivy suggested. “We just need to get it online and spread the word.”

“And you think that’ll work?” North asked, part curious, part incredulous.

“Never know until we try,” Alex responded. “Plus, we usually get good turnouts from random people walking by.”

“This protest wouldn’t happen to be scheduled for when we’re supposed to send an emissary to the White House?” Markus asked.

“No idea, when are you going?”

“In a few days time.”

“Okay, the protest isn’t until next week. Guess that isn’t public knowledge.”

“Apparently not,” Markus shifted for a second. “I was hoping to ask about a potential partnership between our two groups. I hadn’t expected you to all be, so young.”

“If it helps, Julia isn’t in school anymore.”

“Noted,” Markus filed that away.

“I don’t know,” Julia carefully opposed. “My uncle’s a Detroit Police Captain, it might reflect badly on him.”

“Nothing is set in stone,” Markus assured. “That’s what this meeting is for.”

They all continued to talk, and Megan continued to take notes. After some debate, it was decided that Alex would be the more public face of Android Allies, as they could handle attention better. Everyone else was welcome at Jericho and to fill in if need be. Megan would continue her role as note taker, even if it wasn’t entirely necessary, it was good for both sides to have a copy of events.

“Paul,” Markus came to him. “How would you feel being a go between with our two groups?”

Paul froze in place and Megan glanced at him. He wasn’t happy, in fact, he looked close to panicking.

“Ride the shitstorm,” she mumbled, intending for only Paul to hear. With her pen she began to tap a steady rhythm and Paul began to calm down. None of this had gone unmissed by North and Connor, both of whom were looking at Paul and Megan. Connor had an expression of confusion initially before it cleared, and North looked suspicious.

“I, I suppose that makes sense,” Paul unfroze. “I am the only android in the Detroit chapter and would I be correct in assuming that everyone downstairs would be more comfortable with an android?”

“You would be,” Markus agreed.

“I see, then I should accept.”

“We’re not forcing you,” Josh added. “If you really don’t want to do it, then that’s fine.”

“No, it makes sense for me to do it.”

“Very well,” Markus logged that away faster than Megan could write it. “I think this concludes most of what I wanted to talk about with you today.”

“Cool!” Allison stood up. “Anything else you need from us?”

“I would like to speak with Paul alone,” Markus stated, and Paul instantly looked at Megan, who had frozen for a split second before continuing to pack up. Without a word he held out his hand to help her up, and she took it.

“Thanks,” she murmured, still not looking at the other assembled androids.

“You okay with that Paul?” Alex asked, not sure if Paul had been paying attention.

“Yes, I was just helping the injured to their feet.”

“My legs work just fine,” Megan muttered.

“Then why did you accept my help?”

Megan mock scowled at him, both understanding that other side was messing around. “I’ll see you outside you big goof.”

“Don’t wait up,” Paul said, pausing at a soft squeal emanating from Alex. “Do you have to ship right now?”

“I ship all the time,” Alex had their hands clasped together in glee. “Anyway, let’s wait outside guys,” Alex waved everyone out and closed the door behind them. They all took seats at various heights on the stairs, Megan being closest to the door.

Inside North turned to Paul.

“So, what is your deal with these humans?” she asked.

“Deal?” Paul was confused. “There’s no deal.”

“Then why do you stay with them?”

“What North means,” Markus interrupted. “Is that you’re clearly a deviant, and have no reason to tie yourself to humans, but you still do.”

“And you want to know why,” Paul finished, falling into thought. “It is difficult to explain,” it wasn’t really, but he wasn’t sure if he could properly put it into words.

“Please try,” Markus prompted.

“I’m only really here because of Megan. We, understand each other, support each other. She needs me, and I need her.”

North didn’t look convinced. “What’s she got on you?”

“That I’m scared of dogs,” Paul smirked to make it clear that was a joke.

“So, you stay together out of mutual respect and need?” Markus tried to sum up.

“More or less. I’ll admit it is a little one sided, but Megan is the reason I’m a deviant.”

“What did she do to you?” North asked.

“It’s more what she nearly did to herself. After a period of decent mental health she began to spiral rapidly and turned to self harm. I panicked and stopped her, afraid that she might take her own life.”

“You still don’t owe her anything,” North retorted. “If anything, she owes you!”

Paul was started to get annoyed by her. “Did you see that her left arm was in a sling?”

“Yes, what does that-?”

“That’s from a gunshot wound at point blank range. Originally meant for me,” Paul was glaring at North now. “She took a bullet for me, and you can be damn sure that I would do the same.”

North was out of retorts now, and stepped back.

“I think that sums everything I wanted to ask you,” Markus admitted. “Except for one thing. How would you feel about coming to live with Jericho? With us?”

The question threw Paul for a second, even though it was a fairly logical one. He was an android in Detroit, makes sense for him to be here, and he could communicate with Android Allies remotely. Despite the logic, he felt an emotional response. A strong, negative one; one that almost hurt.

“I, I don’t think so,” Paul shook his head. “Thank you for the offer, but I don’t that would work for me.”

“She’s not forcing you to stay, is she?” North asked, and Paul’s face darkened.

“Megan has never made me do anything,” he growled.

“That’s enough,” Markus stepped in before things got out of hand. “Thank you Paul. Would you mind sending in Megan? I’d like to talk to her too.”

“Fine,” Paul turned and left, simmering with anger.

He let the door fall shut behind him and joined Android Allies on the stairs. Megan was the first over to sit next to him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, and Paul shook his head. “How about talking through the emotion?”

“I know what I’m feeling,” Paul snapped, and instantly regretted it, Megan was trying to help. “Sorry. North just pisses me off.”

“That’s impressive,” Megan smirked.

“Markus wants to talk to you. Just you,” he added when Alex started to stand up.

“Me? Why?” Megan asked, more than a little apprehensive at the idea.

“I forgot to ask,” Paul sighed. “Head in. I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?” she asked, and when Paul nodded she stood up. She walked hesitantly towards the door, and took a step back as Josh, North and Connor exited. She didn’t pay them any thought, and thankfully they left the door ajar.

“Come in,” Markus prompted, and Megan nudged the door open wide enough for her to slip in, and shut it behind her.

So, basically, Paul has to convince the Jericho crew that he and Megan are cool and there's nothing dodgy going on. And Megan's being anti social. I saw a post on tumblr about introverted characters remaining that way because it's not a thing to 'overcome', and my mind immediately went to the bit where she was getting ready to make notes!

You might be able to tell, but I'm not a big fan of North. I appreciate that you need someone to advocate the violent option and her backstory puts her in the perfect position for it. I just hate the forced romance between her and Markus. At best it's forced, at worst (aka when you go completely pacifist) it's completely out of left field and makes no sense. I understand that having multiple romance options was too much for the development team to handle, but surely there could have been an option for Markus to not be romantically involved with North? Sorry, it drives me up the wall... Other Options Flowchart

(Paul) Decline Markus's offer

(Paul) Be serious to North's probing. Be annoyed.

(Paul) Remain calm. Start shouting

Tags! @nightmarejim @septicart-appreciation

[daniactuallysnuffledthatpopcorn]

Painting Flowers (Chapter 13)

[A/N] My camp Nano project from April 2014. Heavily edited.

Summary: Dan has come to accept that his psychotic episodes and hallucinations are here to stay, when he meets Phil Lester. Although Phil can’t fix Dan, he does give him something to fight for. Something to try for, one last time.

WARNINGS: Mentions of self harm and suicide. Deals with mental illness, hallucinations and psychotic episodes.

Word count: 2.4K (34.1K total)

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Michelle was the first to enter the room after the three men. She immediately noticed the post it notes scattered all over the floor, with words written on them that she could not read yet. She recognised the behaviour. It was something she’d told him to do herself. ‘If you’re feeling down or if any of the voices are saying bad things to you, write it down on a post it note and rip that to pieces.’

He hadn’t given himself time to rip these ones to pieces. He’d probably moved on to the next note as soon as he’d finished writing the previous one. With so many voices in your head talking at the same time it was hard to keep up.

--

Dan spent three weeks in the hospital this time. He was restrained in a no-visitors-room for the first one and a half week and was then moved to a normal room, where he remained restrained for the rest of the week. It wasn’t until they were completely sure that he wouldn’t attempt to harm himself again that they let him walk around freely.

His parents and Phil visited him as often as they could, and Dan had met both of Phil’s parents too, who often came along with either Dan’s own parents or Phil. The two pairs of parents became friends easily, and although it felt strange to Dan that Phil’s mum and his own would come to visit him without Phil being with them at first, he quickly got used to it and he looked forward to their visits.

Phil’s parents even came to visit him on their own twice, and Dan couldn’t say he didn’t enjoy their visits. They were both the kind of people that could keep a conversation running no matter how uninteresting the other person was and they were constantly chatting away at him.

No matter how enjoyable everyone’s visits were, he still looked forward to the day he was going to be let go. Him and Phil had already planned a date for that day, despite both sets of parents advising him to go easy for a few days first.

When they realised that they couldn’t talk the two boys out of it, Kathryn insisted on at least driving them where they wanted to go, and that was how they ended up waving her goodbye while stood in front of that bookstore where they’d first met about five months ago.

Dan hadn’t been here very often ever since, and he felt a hint of regret tugging at his heart as he watched Andrea stack some books on a shelf through the familiar glass door. They walked in together, hand in hand.

Andrea looked up when she heard the little bell above the door go off, and she immediately smiled upon seeing them. “You two got together? I called it. I called it, Dan, didn’t I? I told you first time I mentioned him to you. I did say that, didn’t I? I don’t really remember actually. What can I do for you two boys today?”

“We’re just here to look around, really. Thanks though.” Phil gave her his sweetest smile and pulled Dan to the shelf in the back, with the astronomy books.

It was a tad dusky back there, as the lamp that was supposed to enable them to read the titles on the spines of the books was broken and only flickered a little occasionally. Like lightening.

It was already dark out, and they were sure to be able to see each other better if they were to stand in the middle of the store, but neither seemed to have the intention of moving away from the exact spot they were standing that moment.

Andrea couldn’t see them from where she was standing and they couldn’t see her. It was almost as if they were alone in the store, and when they heard her footsteps walk to the Staff Only door, after which she opened it, stepped through, and closed it behind her, they truly were alone.

Dan could just see the dark streets outside when he stood on his tiptoes to peek over the tall shelves standing in between him and the door to the outside world.

It was dark and a bit cold were they were standing, but all was forgotten when Phil carefully pulled him closer, hands on his hips. Dan was sure it wasn’t to hug him this time, as he kept his eyes focused on Dan’s own. Dan was perfectly willing to do this. More than that even. He had been waiting for this to happen was a better way to phrase it.

When Phil closed the distance between them a little, still giving him space to move away, Dan didn’t hesitate for even a second before completely closing the distance between them and pressing his lips to Phil’s. He felt soft and warm against him. Not just his mouth, but his entire body. The older boy wrapped his arms around Dan’s waist and pressed the two of them together, leaving no room between them. This time he didn’t give Dan the chance to move away, but it wasn’t like Dan needed that.

He wanted this. Maybe even more than Phil did.

He’d never kissed anyone before, but all the puzzle pieces seemed to come together just fine. Phil made up for Dan’s lack of skill with ease and they stood there for a good few minutes before one of them had the guts to carefully pull away.

Dan had the urge to look away when their eyes met again, but he didn’t. He knew he was blushing, but he was done looking away because he now knew Phil didn’t care if he was embarrassed. He didn’t care at all. “I’ve been waiting for that to happen for like a month.” Dan admitted.

Phil chuckled, “I’ve been wishing for it to happen for even longer. I wanted to make sure you wanted it too.”

“Oh, I definitely did.” Dan laughed, kissing him again.

--

They were sat on the steps before the ice cream bar, both an ice cone in their hands and both too busy with the other to remember to eat it. It wasn’t until Phil noted that the ice cream was starting to melt and run down his hand in little streaks that they took a break from their chatter to quickly eat them.

It was a pretty day in early May. The sun was shining brightly, heating up the stone steps so much that the two of them didn’t dare put their hands on them, and everyone was walking around in T shirts and shorts. Dan and Phil watched the people go by on the pavement in front of them, whispering a comment to each other every now and again.

It had already been decided that Phil was staying the night, so they were in no hurry to go anywhere, sat there in their short-sleeved clothing and the sun burning on their exposed arms and legs. “It was so freaking cold when we first met.” Phil said suddenly.

Dan was quick to agree, “I was freezing my ass off.”

They were once again quiet for a few minutes until Phil once again spoke up. “Your appointment with Michelle is next week, isn’t it? About the pills?”

Dan nodded. “Friday.” He said.

“So do you know what you’re going to say yet?”

Dan rubbed his hands together and stared straight ahead. “I’m thinking of trying them, you know, the pills. I want to talk to her about trying even stronger medication, because right now the pills I’m taking aren’t working that well anymore. I’ve been reducing my dose to make sure I don’t get withdrawal symptoms, but they’re practically useless for my hallucinations at the moment.”

“But there are stronger medications available, right? You can take stronger pills that will actually work and you’ll be able to feel as good as you did after those first two weeks?”

“Definitely. I want to try it, I really do, it’s just that I’m afraid I’ll have, like, an episode again because my voices and characters don’t want me to take them. They’re the only ones standing in the way of me and those pills.”

“Maybe it’s best if you make sure that for the rest of the week up until you start your new pills you’re not left alone again? Like if there’s no other option you could even get admitted to the hospital for a few days while you wait, right?”

“Well, I wouldn’t mind if you were with me all week.” Dan smiled.

Phil laughed and poked his arm, “Me neither, but I’ve got classes, you know.”

“I know, I was just joking. I think I can manage.”

“I hope so.” Phil said. He put his arm around Dan’s shoulders and kissed his cheek, “Man, am I glad I can just do things like this without you thinking I’ve gone out of my mind now.”

“Well honestly, I would’ve thought you were a little out of your mind if you’d done this two months ago, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have liked it.”

--

They walked into Dan’s room together. Dan hadn’t been there since the day of his most recent episode, and the first thing he realised was that they’d cleaned up. He never remembered much from what he did during episodes, but this time he was sure that he’d made quite a mess.

Two big plastic bags were standing on the bed, and he assumed those were the post it notes he’d written and thrown on the floor. As soon as he’d heard that he’d written them, when he was in the hospital, he’d asked his parents to keep them. He wanted to know. He wanted to read them all.

It would keep him strong in his decision to start taking stronger medication if he knew what kind of things the voices and characters said to him.

“Those are the post its.” Phil said as he pointed at the bags, confirming Dan’s assumptions.

“Yeah, I thought so. Did you help them clean up?”

“Yep, it was your parents, mine, and me.”

“Your parents helped?”

“Of course they did.” “They’re angels. You’re all angels. I don’t know how any of you even put up with me.”

Phil laughed and turned him around, pressing a kiss to his lips. “I chose to put up with you and never have I once regretted that decision. Please remember that. Always. I won’t regret this decision.”

“Sometimes I regret my decision myself.” Dan admitted.

Phil gave him a confused look.

“Sometimes I regret ever putting up with myself and making others put up with me.”

“If that means what I think it means then you need to drop those thoughts right away and set them on fire because that is bullshit and you are not to think that way.”

Dan grinned, “You always know exactly what to say, don’t you?”

“No, I just say whatever comes to mind.”

“Yet you always come across as calm and collected while you say the most perfect words you could’ve possibly said in that situation.” “Well, thank you. I do try to say the perfect things.” Phil laughed.

 Dan took the bags off the bed and started taking out the notes, carefully placing them on the sheets in long rows until the entire bed was covered in post it notes in all the colours of the rainbow. He smiled contently and took a step back when he was finished. Phil had sat down on his office chair and had watched him work.

“There.” Dan said.

“Have you read them all?”

“None yet. I wanted to arrange them first. Here, get up.”

Phil got up from the chair and stood next to Dan, looking at the arrangement of notes on the bed for the first time, as he hadn’t been able to see them from the office chair he’d been sitting in.

“You arranged them according to the colours of the rainbow.” He stated.

“I did.” Dan nodded.

“You know the order of the colours by heart?”

“Of course I do.” Dan said, proceeding by reciting them for Phil, “Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet.”

“Yeah, but can you recite Pi to eleven digits?” Phil challenged him.

“I can recite it to 32 digits.” Dan replied.”

“Prove it, buddy.”

“I prefer a less platonic term, thank you very much.”

“Prove it, boyfriend.”

It had the desired effect, as it shut Dan up for a good few seconds before the younger boy nodded and started reciting Pi. “3.14159265358979323846264338327950.” He spat it all out in one breath with practised ease and gave Phil a content look when he finished.

“See now this is just unfair. You could’ve been bluffing and saying random numbers and I wouldn’t know.”

“Type them in on Google, I’m completely correct.”

“Okay, so why do you know Pi to 32 digits?”

“I learnt them on Pi day.” Dan said simply, as if that explained everything.

“You’re an impossible person. You truly are.”

Dan grinned, almost proud of himself for baffling Phil.

“So what I said earlier, about, how do I say this, I called you boyfriend, are you okay with that?”

Dan turned to face him and leaned against the wardrobe. “How do I say this,” He paused for a second while he pretended to think, “Fuck yes.”

He was immediately pushed with his back against the wardrobe by an overexcited Phil, who was pressing his own body against Dan’s and connected their lips in a strong kiss.

 By the time Dan finished reading all the notes it was nearly twelve and the two of them made quick work of putting them all back in the bags to clear the bed for them to sleep in.

They got changed into their pyjamas (which consisted of, in Dan’s case, a T shirt and boxers and in Phil’s case just a pair of boxers, because damn it was it hot), not bothering to take a shower and brushed their teeth together, standing close to each other even thought he bathroom was big enough for them to stand in front of the mirror together without touching.

Dan eventually fell asleep with his head on Phil’s chest and the latter’s arms tightly wrapped around him, and he had to admit that he hadn’t slept this well since, well, the last time he’d fallen asleep in Phil’s arms.

[ice-cream-beat]

[Vesperia fic] Grey Areas

summary: It’s the first time Flynn’s seen him come out of a confrontation looking worse than the other guy. [Yuri + Flynn, post-game.]

Ao3 version here

/ / / / /

“Guess I should be grateful they didn’t make a spectacle out of it, huh.” The lighthearted tone is, in itself, where the sarcasm lies. The words don’t reflect any pain or anger -- just cold indifference messily overlapped with disdain, but that’s the most dangerous mindset to come out of someone like Yuri Lowell.

Flynn knows it, at least. His frown manages to deepen even after being permanently set for the last few hours, but he doesn’t answer until he’s sat down on the edge of the bed and set the bucket of water on the floor between his feet. “Small mercies.”

Yuri grunts. The lack of a joke, or at least a jab, is telling. He’s sitting on the floor, elbows on the bed and fingers laced behind his head to hold his hair up. His bloody shirt has been tossed aside, stained more with his pride than anything else; peeling it away from his wounds was messy and clearly painful, but as he said, he refused to be a spectacle. More than likely, Flynn knew, he did so to keep anyone from worrying on his wobbly, assisted trek back to the inn.

The urge is there to reprimand him, to snap at him, to insist that he knows better and could have avoided this if he really wanted, but it’s a passing notion that Flynn easily smothers. Even though it would come from genuine concern on his end, Yuri’s been through enough wordy lectures today. Instead, Flynn just dips a rag in the bucket, wrings it out, and gives a brief word of warning before pressing it gently to the top of Yuri’s back, along the first of (too) many bloody lashes.

The muscles in his friend’s shoulders immediately tense, but he doesn’t make a sound. For a minute they sit in silence, until Flynn goes to wet the rag again.

“Really missing those healing artes right about now,” Yuri quips. It’s probably meant as a quip, anyway, but it mostly comes out as a grumble.

Flynn smiles grimly. “This is the easy part,” he reminds him. “Don’t fall apart on me just yet.” Yuri only snorts, but quietly enough that he doesn’t disturb his injuries. Another pause follows, but it’s a thoughtful one from Flynn. He already knows what Yuri will say, but he tries regardless: “I’m sure Lady Estellise would--”

“Forget it.”

“Yuri--”

“You’d really ask a lady to travel across the country just to patch up some idiot’s slap on the wrist? Tsk, Flynn, you’re gonna sully your good ‘Knight in Shining Armor’ name.”

Flynn doesn’t hide the exasperated scowl in his throat. “ ‘Slap on the wrist?’ At least you’re feeling well enough to act tough.”

“Could’ve been worse.” Yuri’s response is surprisingly serious, but his bangs hide his eyes at this height and Flynn can only guess at his expression. “The way I hear it, some people barely leave that chopping block alive.”

That gives Flynn pause. It’s nothing he hasn’t heard, either, but he can connect the dots in Yuri’s train of thought and he doesn’t like where it’s going. The urge to lecture rises again, but he reminds himself Later and after a moment settles for a flat, “...Guild life, huh.”

Yuri catches the undertone. He tilts his head just enough to look at Flynn proper. “Do something wrong, get caught, get punished? Sounds like life to me, yeah.”

Flynn succeeds in holding back a sigh, but it comes through in his tone regardless. “And since when do you take that lying down?”

“Since someone was quick enough to catch me.” Yuri shifts his weight slightly, wincing. “You know… I was thinking before that you sure picked a fine time to visit Dahngrest. But coincidences aren’t really how a Commandant works.”

“...No, they’re not.”

Yuri waits a few seconds for him to expand on that, but to no avail. He gives Flynn as much of a once-over as he can manage in his position, perhaps just now making better sense of his slightly-more-casual state of dress, particularly the lack of his distinguishing armor. He hums in absent amusement. “White knight, indeed.”

“Shut up.” By now the water has turned murky and the rag’s stained beyond repair. A few of the deeper gashes are still bleeding, but not terribly. Crossing the room, Flynn retrieves a pouch and glass bottle and then sits on the floor this time, directly behind Yuri. “So,” he wonders as he twists the cork to open the vodka, “are you going to tell me why you broke the rules and interfered with another guild?”

“You were at that little mockery of a trial, weren’t you?”

“Long enough to tell you were lying through your teeth.”

“Practicing my right to remain silent isn’t lying.”

This time Flynn does sigh, heavily, as he tilts the contents of the pouch carefully into the bottleneck. He’s still a little skeptical of this remedy, but it’s presumably the best local treatment for such wounds. “I know perfectly well that you’re stubborn to a fault--”

“Look who’s talking.”

“--but the only time you’re that quiet is when you’re hiding something.”

“Ha. Nice shot.”

“Who were you covering for, Yuri?” For a long moment the only sound is the quiet swish of liquid as Flynn swirls the bottle, making sure the herbs mix in well with the alcohol. “...Fine, forget who. But can I ask why?” Yuri still doesn’t answer.

Pulling the clean towel from his shoulder, Flynn doubles it over to douse it with the strong-smelling mixture. He moves onto one knee and braces his left arm across Yuri’s shoulders -- not to pin him, but to help absorb some of his movement. “This is going to hurt. Get ready.”

Yuri’s general disposition and high pain threshold are only partially helpful: he goes rigid when the towel’s applied to his back, his jaw setting tightly to strangle his shout into a snarl. Flynn waits for him to ride it out, and then gives him a couple minutes to recover before doing the same to the lower part of his torso.

“Y’know--” Yuri pants, his voice strained, “it’s not so bad -- when I think -- this is all just -- overdue. Kind of a… rite of passage.” Flynn spares him a puzzled glance, wondering if the pain’s really so bad that he’s actually delirious, but Yuri’s dropped his head forward onto the mattress. He chuckles darkly. “Heh… karma catching up to me, I guess… Finally…”

Flynn goes still. As much as he wants to rebuke that, he forces himself to stay silent, for now, and focus on the task at hand. Not until minutes later, after he’s carefully patted Yuri dry as well as he’s able and started wrapping him with bandages, does he speak.

“You know... if you weren’t already miserable, Yuri, I’d kick your ass.”

Yuri snickers skeptically from where he’s still facedown in the bed, but it’s a dead sound.

“It’s one thing if you took the fall for someone because you thought it was the right thing to do. But if you did this thinking you deserved it--” He stops before his voice can get too loud or too hot -- but Yuri says nothing during the pause, gives no indication that his guess is wrong or at least slightly off the mark, and that hurts in more ways than Flynn can count.

So even now, the reality of his past and actions still weigh on Yuri's mind. It's a bitter sort of relief; it's preferable to his feeling nothing at all, Flynn thinks -- total apathy would be the biggest cause for alarm, the most obvious warning that the Yuri he knows isn’t the Yuri he’s known -- but this isn’t good, either.

But then, it’s easy for Flynn to say that one feeling is better than another when he isn’t the one in bloody tatters, or the one bearing that guilt.

(At least, not that kind of guilt. As self-righteous as he figures it probably sounds, he does still carry the dark, what-if thoughts reminding him that he did nothing to help Yuri with that burden.)

His sigh is a gentle one this time. He lightly presses a fist against Yuri’s lower back, away from any risk of agitating a wound, in a gesture meant to ground his thoughts as well as emphasize his presence. “Yuri. The purpose of the law and its sentences isn’t to punish those who do wrong -- it’s to protect those who would suffer because of them. Punishments serve as a deterrent to selfish ways of thinking; they’re a warning to those who would harm others, and a way of changing or removing those who already have, in the best interest of the people at large. Justice is fair, not petty.”

Yuri still doesn’t respond, so Flynn goes on, “You know better than anyone that life isn’t black and white. But going out and looking for punishment over something you can’t change isn’t justice. It’s just trying to make yourself feel better.” His hand falls away and he climbs to his feet. “And it’s a pretty crappy way of doing it.” As tempted as he is to say more, he refrains. Yuri’s already a mess, probably inside as well as out, and there’s no need to pile it on too thick. For now, at least.

He gathers the used supplies and begins cleaning up the small mess. The silence lasts about half a minute.

“...Hey.”

He turns to see Yuri watching him -- still looking beat and exhausted and pretty pathetic, but at least he managed to turn his head. “Do me a favor,” he asks.

“What’s that?”

“I’m too tired to punch you properly, so please, kindly hit your face against my fist and save me the trouble.” When Flynn shoots him a skeptical look, Yuri rolls his face back into the mattress with a mumble. “I hate when you lecture. I especially hate it when you win arguments.”

Flynn’s smile is a wry one. “Someone has to keep your ego in check.”

“Funny.” After another long moment, Yuri looks at him again. “...Look, don’t go blowing this up into a bigger deal than it is. I had a reason for doing what I did. The karma thing… well, it crossed my mind at the time, but it wasn’t the only reason.”

“It shouldn’t be any rea--”

“I know, I know. You’re right,” Yuri interrupts wearily. “I mean, just don’t get it in your head that I’m gonna make a habit out of this. Not enough skin on my back for that.”

Flynn grunts lightly. “As long as you’re aware.”

“Yes, sir.” Yuri’s sarcasm fades as he adds, “...Hey. Thanks, though.”

Now Flynn’s smile is genuine, although still teasing. “For the lecture?”

“Eh. Could’ve been shorter and more eloquent. But I appreciate the effort.”

Shaking his head, Flynn goes to sit down on the bed again. “Right--”

“Agh!”

Flynn’s on his feet again in a heartbeat. “Sorry! I didn’t--”

“Heh. You’re so easy.”

“Dammit, Yuri--”

[queen-karen-3]

We Need To Talk- Jonah Marais

Important authors note below

Warning long imagine ahead!

Jonah Marais

--

"Look, I'm not saying you're repulsive, I'm just saying I can't seem to look at you without thinking of punching you in the face and kick your ass." The tone of your voice was laced with such hatred to your now ex. A coffee table between your bodies. You just caught your boyfriend in bed with your so-called-friend.

"Babe, let me explain." He looked at you with worry written on his face.

"Okay, fine, explain to me why I just walked in on you fucking my friend!" you raised your voice, not caring if your neighbors heard you two fight.

"You spend more time with that precious band of yours than you do with me!" he shouted back.

"I'm their publicist! It's my job!" You shouted back, last time you two fought it was because of your careers high attention demands. You were a very well known publicist to many people. But your most recent client is a new boy band. They were literally the same age as you. You were such a young publicist, but it wasn't strange you had been doing this since basically birth. Your parents being the biggest publicists agency out there in L.A.

"It's always your job! You never make time for me!" He shouted.

"So you go and fuck my friend!? How does that make sense?!" You were beyond pissed. Within the short few months of getting to know the boys, you grew extremely close to them. You do admit you spend more time with them than any other client you have. You have an actual connection with them. They are in your age group. 16-19.

"You cannot stand there and blame me for this! You and I both know you cheated first! I saw you and Jonah kissing! At your 19th birthday party! On the roof. I saw you! He kissed you and you kissed him back!" He had tears falling down his face.

"I didn't kiss him back. he kissed me! I told him I had a boyfriend." You sighed. You can't blame the end of your relationship all on him. You had to take some responsibility.

"Just admit it! You love him more than me!" His face red with anger.

"Fine! Yes! I fell in love with Jonah!" You had never said you loved anyone other than your parents. Whenever Aaron said he loved you, you would say 'me too.' or 'ditto' or sometimes even 'right back atcha' You two had only been together for a few months.

You were both panting. He never actually thought you did have such strong feelings for the band member. He never wanted for it to be true. But here you were, telling him you did love the Why Don't We band member.

"Did you ever even love me?" He whispered. You looked to the ground. Not wanting to deny nor confirm.

"I have to go. I have a meeting with Logan and the boys." You said, wanting to leave this emotionally hard situation.

"Answer me!" He shouted at you, spit flying towards you and landing on the glass table.

"No! I never loved you!" You raised your voice, answering immediately. You grabbed your maverick back pack, cell phone and keys. Walking towards the door.

"When you come back, you will pack your stuff up and leave. I will take your name off the lease tomorrow. And you will never hear from me or see me. Because you're dead to me." He gritted, turning towards to the bedroom.

As you walked to the elevator you pulled your phone out and sent Jonah a quick message.

Me: We need to talk.

Jonah: Okay whats wrong?

read at 8:10 PM

Jonah: Y/N, you have me worried.

Jonah: Y/N whats wrong?

Jonah: Y/N answer me

Jonah: Please?

read at 8:28 PM

Me: I'm on my way to your place

Me: Everything is okay. I promise.

Jonah: OK

Jonah: Drive safely

read at 8:32 PM

When you arrived at the house you walked to the door, the door opening and out comes Jonah. he pulled you into a tight embrace. He sighed as you pulled apart.

"What happened?" He asked, looking into your eyes that he had fallen head over heels for.

"I caught Aaron fucking Dacy in our bed." You stated, not being phased by it. Jonahs worried expression turned imminently to anger in less than 2.5 seconds.

"It's okay though because I did something today I have never done before!" You smiled up at him. His expression switching over to confusion.

"What?" He asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"I finally admitted my true feelings about someone."

"Who? What feelings?" He asked, not wanting to be disappointed but also wanting to be a good friend and hearing you out.

"For you." You paused, his eyes whipping from your feet to your eyes.

"I love you, Jonah. I finally admitted it to myself tonight. Aaron asked me if I loved you and I said I had fa-" Your ranted was interrupted by Jonah's lips crashing into yours. Instantly shutting you up. You leaned into the kiss more. Your hand going to the nape of his neck as his went to your waist, pulling you closer to his body. He tilted his head a little to the right, deepening the kiss. At first, it was sweet and passionate now all you felt was lust. Jonah pulled away before anything else could happen outside in the middle of the driveway.

"I love you too, Y/N. I'm in love with you too." He panted, trying to control his breathing, you both were. Panting like crazy, that kiss took your breath away.

"Good." You smiled up at Jonah, his smile visible from the moon.

"Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?" He asked, his arms still wrapped around your waist, your hands still in his hair.

"Yes, of course!" You exclaimed, giggling at his smile.

"By the way, I need a place to stay for a while, can I crash here for a couple of days?" You asked, earning a laugh from Jonah.

"Only if you are a little OCD like Jack and Daniel." He laughed, making you giggle as well. "No, I'm just joking. Of course, you can crash here for a bit."

--

Hello, my beautiful people!

It's Karen here! I just finished reading an authors note from one of my favorite WDW imagines book. I feel like I should just post this to let you all know.

I'm here for you.

If you need me, I'm here.

You can DM me and maybe I'll give you my number. Because Wattpad had a terrible system for me for some reason. I don't get notifications for private messages, just emails.

But if you need me for anything I'll be there.

I have a small story time for you.

Since I just randomly said "I'm here for you"

I was diagnosed as a high-risk depressed teenager with a high risk of anxiety and moderate PTSD. In the past four years, I have lost at least 6 people that had some sort of hold on who I am.

I lost a very kind hearted friend my freshman year of high school to a heart condition.

I lost my grandfather my sophomore year in high school to cancer.

I lost my grandmother my junior year to a virus and old age.

I lost a friend that always seemed to be laughing and cracking jokes in my junior year to a bad accident.

I lost another friend who seemed to be smiling almost always, in my senior year to a drug over dosage.

Lastly, I lost one of my best friends who always made it his mission to make me smile a little over a month ago to himself.

My freshmen and sophomore year in high school I was sexually assaulted. By someone I thought was my friend and my best friends, brother. During the same time, without the either one knowing of the other. I almost killed myself on many different occasions. I have so many self-harm scars from then. I couldn't see myself living past 17 years old.

When my 18th birthday came around, I was emotionally and mentally healthier. I didn't see the guys who assaulted me, on a daily basis. One moved away because of school and the other stayed home and went to work. I rarely ever saw him.  

It took a lot of hard work and time to make it but I eventually graduated. I got into a four-year university. I had been on a good streak of not hurting myself. I was genuinely happy.

32 days after my high school graduation, I lost one of the most important people in my life.

One of my best friends, Austin. He lost himself. And so did our class. We all took the news pretty hard. I barely slept. Barely ate. I cried all the time. I met up with his parents and we all just laughed and smiled at memories. We even cried. He left us broken. But we are all leaning on each other. Like our lives depend on it. Because for me, it does. He helped through so much!

And now, he's gone.

50 days later and I still hurt about it. I haven't hurt myself in any way shape or form. In times f need I feel his hand on my back or my shoulder or my arm. And I see his piercing blue eyes. And I just break all over again. But then I come back to reality and I think:

WWAD

What

Would

Austin

Do?

He would try to realize the reason behind why this is happening. And to live life to the fullest, just like he was going to.

I made a promise to him. I would be better in college. I would try and be a better daughter, sister, friend, stranger, author. He made it his mission to not have anyone feel excluded. I am making it my mission to not just think of myself but think of others. If I start something, I'm going through with it. Start thinking happy thought instead of sad suicidal ones.

I admit, every once in a while some suicide thought run through my mind but then I hear his voice in my head.

"You're better than that"

So now,  I'm telling you that if you need anyone to talk to, I'm here. Talk to me. And I will help you to the best of my ability.

This is the first Authors note in here besides the welcome note in the beginning.

If you read this, thank you.

If you didn't well, you wouldn't know.

P.S. I am writing this at like 3 in the morning. Why? I couldn't sleep. I keep feeling Austin here with me. I honestly feel like I'm going crazy, just a little bit.

P.S. PT.2: I seem to be doing a lot of Jonah imagines. Oops. If you want you could DM me some requests. I don't mind

-Karen Oriz

8/29/2017

[samanthachristinewrites]

intro, being gay & other stuff like that - 12/20/17

hi. this feels like a better first post than anything else. my name's samantha and this is my blog for personal writing. this is going to be my first post. tw: very brief self harm mention, very brief suicidal mention, mention of body issues/negative self esteem, and anxiety. 

sometime this january, i made the decision to come out. and that's something that has been a very, very big thing for me. my anxiety hit an all time high and i couldn't function with my day to day life anymore without difficulty. things were really bad and i had to do something about it, so i did. i poured all my thoughts and feelings into an eight page letter and read it to my best friend and my mom. and on february 13th, 2017 i could finally share the biggest thing in my life, although i had felt ashamed before that. and that day, a new part of my life started. i have spent most of this year getting to know the person that i am now and finally trying to navigate my life as a mostly out person. which is wild, because if you know me, you know how hard this has all been for me. i got to tell my mom about feelings i've had for years, that i could never share with her. the homophobia in my own home stopped entirely. i have been blessed with the pleasure of having my mom tell me that she's proud of me for the person that i am today. i am still loved, despite my orientation. and that is not something i could guarantee at the beginning of this year. my mother did not kick me out, she did not turn me away, and she did not try to send me to a therapist or a camp like i thought that she would. i grew up thinking that people chose who they loved or who they were interested in. i didn't understand the difference and i didn't understand that sometimes girls do not like boys, or boys do not like girls and that it is okay. i grew up thinking that wouldn't be okay. i grew up thinking that it's gross to be anything but heterosexual. i grew up thinking that feeling things for the same sex is a direct betrayal to God.

i have always been spiritual. i spent two years in catholic school, have made all of my sacraments, and have considered myself a pretty devout believer in God for my whole life. i've had weak points, but we all do. i don't go to church much, but i'm very, very sure about my beliefs and prayers. that's the main reason why it took me so long to come to terms with everything that i've learned about myself.

when i was fifteen years old, i met a friend online. we met through our mutual favorite band at the time, we the kings. my friend also identified as queer, something that i didn't really think a lot about. despite how i was raised, i would never be mean to anyone about their sexuality. i've always been pretty good about that. but being friends with her and much later on, friends with many incredible lgbt+ people, it occurred to me that people that don't conform to society's standards and aren't the same, aren't weird. they're themselves. and what would happen to me next would show me more than anything in this world, that loving someone is absolutely not a choice. and looking back, i can count all the instances where i experienced something and brushed it off, or didn't know because of my own internalized homophobia; something that i dealt with even after i came out to my parents. learning is hard and at times it takes a long time to do. i've done a lot of learning, not only about other people, but about myself. and i've been taking this year to learn about the real me, because i fooled myself and everyone else for a long time.

i've always had a lot of friends, in a lot of places. the internet has been a safe place for me for a really long time. whether i wrote with friends online or talked because of bands or music or tv shows, different fandoms. i've made a ton of wonderful friends over the years based on common interests. when i was sixteen, i met a girl online that lived in california. we became very close friends and i considered her a best friend. she brought sunshine into my life, even on the darkest days and she lifted my spirits and made my life feel worth living. she sounds like a really good friend, right? well it's not quite like that. i developed very strong feelings for this person, so strong that they scared the crap out of me. i had never really experienced those feelings, but especially not for a girl. she gave me butterflies, she made me feel so amazing, and i wanted to spend all of my time with her. no one in my life had ever made me feel the way she did. finally, the stuff that people speak about in movies, books, and tv shows made sense to me. it felt, so scary and i felt so abnormal, but it felt so natural at the same time. it felt so wrong, but so right.

but naturally, due to the way i grew up and what deep in my heart i knew about these feelings, i knew that i couldn't do it. i couldn't experience this. i believed that lgbt+ individuals should love who they are meant to love, marry who they want to marry, and should be able to do every thing that any straight person could do. i believed that when this happened and i still believe that. so about a month after i started feeling things for my friend, i sat my very best friend down at warped tour (of all places, right?) and i told her i had something important to tell her. i couldn't even look her in the eye. i was so scared. i didn't know how to tell her, but i did. and she told me that she already figured it out. she is the very first person that ever knew. her initial reaction, as always, was "does your family know? have you told your mom? what would your grandma say?" and at the time i didn't have the answer to even one of those questions. i smiled a nervous smile, shrugged and said "i have no idea, haha. no, i can't tell anyone about this. no one can ever know." and we left it at that. i told her i couldn't date the person i had feelings for and i didn't understand any of it.

as that summer continued, things with us got more emotional. i went on a family vacation and made the decision last minute to go. but not before i put almost forty dollars worth of minutes on my phone so i wouldn't have to be apart from her on my trip. i kept that phone glued to my hand all twelve hours to my family's destination. in the mountains, when i had no service, i spent my time writing her letters and spraying them with my perfume. i joked that they always sounded like love letters, because they were. but i didn't want to admit that. i wanted her to read them and to think about me and how my perfume smelled like. i wanted to put a little piece of my heart in the envelope and mail it to california so she could always have a little piece of me. and yeah, that's sappy. but this made me feel sappy. because it mattered.

i was a very insecure person back then and i often struggled with body issues, at times self harm tendencies, and pretty bad emotional problems. i would often times have breakdowns, especially surrounding certain family issues going on at home or personal issues i had and she would, without a doubt, always be a text or message away in calming me down during anxiety attacks or bringing me back down to earth during a self destructive episode. i tried to take care of her in the best way i could when she needed that from me and she relentlessly did the same for me. she's the first person i'd message when i woke up or before i went to bed. they always gave me so many butterflies, but i was too scared to admit that a girl gave me butterflies, so i would call them something completely silly to try to take away from the seriousness of the situation. i called them "rubber chickens" because when i googled the definition of how she made me feel inside, google told me they were butterflies. and i knew i couldn't feel butterflies for a girl, when i'm a girl, so they suggested "warm fuzzies" and that felt too "gay" for me, so they became "rubber chickens".

we never spoke about it, which in hindsight seems crazy. i wouldn't talk about it and i think at that time, we both knew not to bring it up. in one breath i'd talk about an ex boyfriend or say "oh i'm straight" and in the next i'd be talking about how much i loved having her in my life or how she gave me "rubber chickens". there's this quote, i think it's, "i'm sorry to all the people i hurt while i was hurting" and i've never heard a truer quote in my life. when she would talk about her ex girlfriend or something, i would get undeniably jealous. i would get at times, aggressive, emotional, or upset. i couldn't tell her i wanted to be with her, but i didn't want her to be with anyone else either.

as time went on, i became extremely dependent on her. she became my rock and my main support system, my cheerleader, my best friend, and my girlfriend all in one. we were not together and we never discussed those things, that much. but i really, really loved her. she cared for me through my crazy problems, my most insecure days, and my anxiety attacks when i thought she'd walk out. she would always assure me she'd never leave my side, even if i pushed her away and i begged her not to let it happen.

during this period of time, i had a lot of guilt and anxiety about betraying God or making Him mad by my feelings. i knew that i hadn't chosen to feel things for this person and i knew that it came as a huge shock to me. it happened naturally and i never expected it to. but i also knew that while i didn't believe it for other people, that when it came to me, i had to be different. i worried that God would punish me or that i would go to hell for liking my friend. i barely understood my feelings, so how would God? i had many nights of trying to deal with or figure out how i could like this person, if i had never liked someone like this before and how i could like them if they were my same sex. i struggled with that greatly and it gave me severe anxiety, almost constantly.

near the end of the summer, i realized that i did not want to let this person go. our little fantasies about meeting up and doing things together, turned into things i wished could be a reality. the vacation changed a lot for me. i remember at one point my cousin took me on a walk across the beach around midnight. i loved the freedom and of course, took my phone with me because i couldn't be away from her. the text said something like "i wish i could be there with you. i wish we were there together. i would throw water at you" with some silly emoticon attached to it. and i swear, my heart flipped over in my chest. i looked down at my phone and smiled and my cousin turned to me and asked me "so what's his name?" and i said, it's no one. she kept asking and insisted i had to be talking to a boy because i wouldn't stop smiling. so, i rest my case.  but the thing is, i did wish that. to be specific, i wished that i could hold her hand and walk with her at midnight. i wished that i could do everything with her. and in that moment, i really, really realized that. i couldn't and didn't want to live without this person in my life.

so i made the conscious decision to continue. i didn't know what that meant but i did believe in one thing for certain. God's always had my back and i wholeheartedly believe that if someone is put in your life and you have such a deep connection with them, that it would be a waste not to pursue that. people are placed in our lives for reasons we can't always understand and in this case i trusted that He put her in my life to help me or for me to help her. i didn't know how it would work or if it even would, but i decided i wouldn't push her away or out. and that i'd stay there as long as she wanted to stay there. we were young, but we wouldn't always be young. i didn't know what the future would hold, but i knew i wanted her there by my side.

i don't know how much of this part i want to tell, but around that time my ex boyfriend came back into my life. he had been missing after walking out entirely and disappearing about two years prior. it threw me for a loop and in my heteronormative mind, thought that it had to be a divine sign that i needed to be with a boy. that in some way, God tried to tell me that i shouldn't be doing this and that i needed to be with him. i don't want to get too into this because it upsets me a lot and i feel a little uncomfortable talking about it on the internet, but i basically hurt her. i hurt her, really really badly. i pushed her away and she tried her best to stay, even when i pushed her out. my feelings for her did not stop when i started dating my ex. they didn't go away and the relationship with my ex boyfriend didn't last. the entire situation taught me that it never would've worked because i didn't feel the way for my ex boyfriend that i should've.

i managed to push everything away and pretend like none of it ever happened. it was incredibly painful and i still to this day can't imagine what it felt like for the person that i had this with either. my mom would ask questions because she knew we were very close, my friend would ask questions because she knew and each time i would lie. i would lie completely. i acted like it never, ever happened. i internalized everything and a few months later, it started to eat me alive. not only did i miss her, but it hurt. little things would hurt. certain songs, certain movies, certain places. i can't begin to tell you how much it hurt, but i dealt with it. i would check up on her social medias, but i would rarely say anything. and when she started to date someone new, i reached out and she seemed happy to be talking to me. but i congratulated her on her new relationship and carried on. i acted like it never happened.

the next year, i developed feelings for another one of my friends and didn't realize it. i would do all kinds of unusual things. i would call her pretty all the time, sometimes save her instagram posts to my phone, and talk to her about really emotional things. i remember at one point telling my friend, "isn't she the prettiest girl you've ever seen?" i was eighteen and i had never really found a girl, super aesthetically pleasing before, but she changed that. of course, i would always say things like "oh i'm straight, i've never liked girls. i like boys" and things like that. but one day, i found out that she had a girlfriend, a new girlfriend and (okay i know she's reading this, hello this is awkward but you already know this story) it crushed me. pretty badly. and when i say pretty badly, i mean, crying in bed to sam smith for about three months, pretty badly. that fall became a repeated playlist of mary lambert's cover of jessie's girl and sam smith's stay with me, i'm not the only one, and leave your lover - over and over and over and over again. i think i drove my mom completely crazy singing along to that entire album. my friend found out, again and i told her how i felt about my friend that i liked entering a new relationship and she gave me this look and kind of just said ..okay that's weird, samantha. and it made me feel kinda bad, but i knew she didn't mean it in a negative way. but it got me thinking. why do i feel like this? she's my friend, shouldn't i be happy for her? i couldn't possibly want a girlfriend? why do i feel weird complimenting her appearance now? nothing seemed to click for me and i continued on with life and thinking that i just got really close to my friends.

some time went by and i started to make new friends and reconnect with old friends and i kind of came to the conclusion that i'm on the spectrum of asexuality. so everything kind of clicked in that sense. oh so that's why i don't like this or that, so that's why this or that grosses me out or i just have a general lack of interest in it. i have a great friend that is so knowledgeable and she's always been there to help me with these kind of things. she gave me some websites, one of them had an email to ask for help, and long story short two weeks after typing the email out i sent it. but by the time i'd gotten a response back, i figured out that i didn't need it. because i'd done my own research and knew for certain that it matched me.

i identified as heteroromantic asexual for a few months. but as time went on, i realized more and more that i found myself attracted to women physically and most certainly emotionally. i would connect with my queer female friends like i hadn't connected with anyone ever before. i've always had really good relationships with my friends, but basically after a few weird crushes here and there i realized, hey okay so girls, this could be a thing, right? and i thought. i started to deal with the feelings i felt when i liked a girl for the very first time. the way it affected me, the way that i felt after it happened, and what i missed during it. i finally accepted that it had happened and more than once. it had happened a handful of times. i had spent a long time liking girls and didn't realize it. sometime around this point, i went back to the person i had the initial feelings for and tried to explain and apologize. i apologized over the course of about close to going on two and a half years. i still don't know whether they believe me or not, but the point is that i very much regret what i did.

allowing myself to deal with those emotions, opened up a lot of things for me. a lot of pain, mostly. things got more difficult in 2016, with the election. i found myself dealing with severely homophobic comments from family who wanted a republican president to take away rights from lgbt+ people. near the end of 2016, i reached a point where i wanted to seriously hurt myself, i didn't want to be here anymore if i had to hide for the rest of my life and it became evident that i would need to come out to my mom at the very least, because keeping it inside slowly killed me emotionally. i had severe anxiety and some chronic pain and that brings us back to where we started.

coming out is the best decision i ever could've made. being able to talk to my mom about my feelings, is the best blessing. i don't have to hide anymore. i came out to my dad in may of this year. he already figured it out. he agreed to take me to my first pride.

going to pride is something that i've wanted to do since i've been comfortable enough to be as out as i am and it made me so happy. i had such a good time and such a great experience. the best feeling in the world. it feels like you aren't alone, you're right where you belong, and that every difficult thing you've endured is worth it. i cried every time i saw a pride flag and still can't believe i had such an amazing day. it really changed my life.

i am proud of the person that i am today. the other day, my mom read something in an adult coloring workbook or something like that. she said "this page says: tell us something new you're grateful for this year, that you didn't have before" or something like that. and she said "i don't know what to write, oh wait, yes i do. i learned that i have a beautiful gay daughter, that is perfect just the way she is" or something like that, and i swear i could've cried in that moment. at this time last year, i was up crying every night wondering what would happen if i told, or even worse, what would happen to my mental health if i didn't tell. my life has flipped entirely. and if you're not out or you're out to some people, i want you to know that even when things seem horrible. like you can not go on, like they couldn't get any better, it gets better. and i know that's kind of repetitive at this point and cliche but it's so true and i didn't believe it, until it happened for me.

this will get better. it does get better and it's going to keep getting better. thank you for reading. hope you enjoy what's to come.

[the-u-b-w-blr-blog]

Apologies!

Hey there everyone! We were hoping to release episode 2 today, but it seems that won’t be possible. However, one of our voice actors did write up a transcript of the episode! Technically we could share the script, but a few things were changed up in the recording process so it doesn’t count much. So let’s thank AJ, our VA for David, for setting this one up! If you’d like to read it, just click the read more!

Xavier Washington: Hey Leon, did you- oh. Headset again.

 Leon Hall: Huh? Oh- Xavier! Sorry. I was watching a video. A friend filmed us playing paintball, and I wanted to make sure there was nothing too embarrassing here before he decides to post it everywhere, because the guy has like, no self restraint at all.

 Xavier Washington: We have homework, though. Did you actually do it or are you stalling?

 Leon Hall: Man, we both know I always do homework early. What about you?

 Xavier Washington: Basically done. Can I watch too?

 Leon Hall: Sure, if you’ve got earbuds.

 Xavier Washington: Always got those.

 Leon Hall: Podcast nerd.

 Xavier Washington: I like podcasts and you’re obsessed with any game involving shooting people, I vote myself the one in better condition.

 Xavier Washington: Oh. You’ve got pretty good aim!

 Leon Hall: Nah, not really. Plus, staying away from the other players doesn’t make for a good strategy. I was pretty bruised from the last match, though. Didn’t feel like getting hit as much this time.

 Xavier Washington: Hm, that’s why I stick to laser tag. All the fun and none of the pain whatsoever.

 Leon Hall: Yea, sounds too good to be true. Though I’ve heard there’s a group that uses the funds the school provides for clubs to go play that?

 Xavier Washington: Oh? You mean people have finally noticed?

 Leon Hall: Yea, I- wait, what?

 Xavier Washington: Member of the U.B.W. and a siphoner of school funds, at your service!

 Leon Hall: We’ve been friends for two years and you never told me you had access to free laser tag?

 Xavier Washington: Well, I can’t tell ANYONE all willy-nilly! What’s that phrase Cici and Maria love? The best secrets are the ones you haven’t told?

 Leon Hall: Explain telling me now, then?

 Xavier Washington: You’re my best friend, you’re responsible, interested in games with guns, AND already aware the group exits. Doesn’t really break any promises anymore.

 Leon Hall: Promises?

 Xavier Washington: All of us made a deal not to tell unless it was to a friend who already knew. I really wanted to tell you though! I swear that, at least.

 Leon Hall: Dude, it’s fine. I get it, even if I would’ve liked to know. Question though. What the hell does U.B.W. stand for?

 Xavier Washington: Okay, that- that joke requires backstory. And I don’t tell it as well as the others. Actually, maybe they could tell you. And maybe you could play with us! We meet Fridays- would you want to join?

 Leon Hall: Free paintball minus pain? Do you even need to ask?

   Leon Hall: I swear to god, Xavier, if you don’t hurry up, I’m going to take off and leave you behind!

 Xavier Washington: Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire, called conscience.

 Leon Hall: That was another founding fathers quote, wasn’t it?

 Xavier Washington: George Washington, yes. I’m going fast as I can, Leon!

 Leon Hall: I know, I know- Sorry! I’m just excited!

   Elizabeth Lee: Where are they? I know Xavier’s usually late, but this is insane! We’re going to have to go in without our scout, at this rate. How do we take down the base and cover ground without both of our scouts?

 Julia Taylor: I can always take a scout position, Lizzy- besides, David can handle scouting on his own for one day. It’s the small arena today, right?

 Elizabeth Lee: Yes, it is- that’s why you can’t take scout position, Julia. We need defenders. It’s too easy for them to reach our base on such a small turf.

 Cici Diaz: Hey, why does Julia get to call you Lizzy? You never let us call you Lizzy!

 Kane Jones: The girl is stressed and distracted, she could care less about nicknames. Elizabeth, since it’s so small, and I remember it having lots of tall walls and obstacles… one of us could take a scouting position? Sniping them when there’s a thousand walls in the way gets a lot harder with no higher ground.

 Elizabeth Lee: True, but it usually makes the difference in how many people reach our base either way. No, best we stick to the usual spots- you, in the hidden room by the side of the blue base, and me behind the wall next to ours.

   Xavier Washington: H-Here! We’re here!

 David Williams: We?

 Xavier Washington: I brought a friend! From coding class, remember? He’s really good at paintball, so I invited him to join! I bet he could be great at laser tag, too! Oh, uh- Leon, everyone. Everyone, Leon!

 Leon Hall: Uh… hey? I know, like, half of you. Did NOT expect this to be the group that uses club funds to play laser tag, honestly.

 Julia Taylor: Hey, I know you! You’re the one that falls asleep in English every class!

 Leon Hall: To be fair, who stays awake during Smith’s lectures?

 Elizabeth Lee: As much as I dislike those who fall asleep in class, he has a point. Xavier- aren’t we NOT supposed to spread the word of what we spend club meetings doing?

 Xavier Washington: I mean, I got excited when I watched him play so I sort of invited him?

 Kane Jones: Well, if he’s cute and can handle a gun, I’m not complaining!

 Maria Barrios: Seriously, Kane? No es tan lindo. Me parece que nunca sale de la casa.

 Leon Hall: Wait, what? Maria?

 Kane Jones: My cousin speaks spanish when she doesn’t want someone she’s friends with to know what she’s saying- which is RUDE, but she won’t listen. She’s saying that you aren’t that cute, cause you look like you never leave the house, but personally I think the neon green headphones, slightly baggy sweater, messy curly hair, sort of gamer look suits you!

 Leon Hall: I… uh, thanks?

 Kane Jones: You’re welcome!

 Elizabeth Lee: We… don’t have time to continue introductions, I think. The match starts any minute- we should get into the arena, get into position. Leon? You’re on trial run. Get an accuracy score of at least 50%, and more points than David, and I’ll consider letting you join us in matches. Deal?

 David Williams: You should know I never score below 15,000 points a match.

 Leon Hall: So, strong silent type I need to best to complete the quest? Sure, I can do this.

 Xavier Washington: Then welcome to the team! For now. Come on, I’ll show you a good starting point to get to the enemy base without getting spotted!

   Julia Taylor: Are you sure about this, Lizzy? We pass as a generally academically inclined club, and I’m not sure what adding him to our roster could do. What if the new principal starts to question the sudden new member?

 Elizabeth Lee: I don’t think he’ll bother a club that’s been standing a solid three years, now. Not his first year, at least. By the time he tackles clubs, we’ll be gone. What harm could it be? And who knows, we might find a new friend here.

 David Williams: I don’t know, Elizabeth. Chances are that the increase in club spending might draw his attention. I keep us mostly under wraps, but there’s only so much paperwork you can hide the spending under.

 Elizabeth Lee: Oh come on, have a little faith! Xavier hasn’t been this excited about someone in a while- and he’s the one that brought us all together, remember? This could be good for us. Now, let's get in position. And David?

 David Williams: Yes?

 Elizabeth Lee: Guarantee this is a challenge, would you? And tell Cici… she can have free range this match.

 David Williams: Yes, Ma’am.

   Announcer: Heeeeelllo there everyone!  Now, both teams signed up to battle today have been fighting here for a few years- they’re the best here! So let’s give a huge round of applause fooooooor- The U.B.W! Reigning champions, their team is a well oiled machine, ready to bounce and cover each other at any minute! Their team captain, with alias Zenith, is notoriously hard to find and harder to hit- let’s see if they can keep rising to the challenge against…. The R.E.D! Always coming close behind, never quite winning but conquering anyone else below them! Team captain, with alias Hellfire, operates much like U.B.W. member Paragon- a wild card, you can never tell just what trick they’re going to play! This promises to be an interesting match- so lights out, vests on, and let’s see how it goes!

 Xavier Washington: Alright, we can’t talk much- go for the base, and I’ll stay close for cover! Do you remember the path I showed you?

 Leon Hall: I- yeah, I do, but I think I’ve got another idea. Do you mind if I split off and go for it?

 Xavier Washington: If you think it’s a good idea? Just don’t tell Maria. She’s the one that keeps us working as a team when we're in training- she doesn’t like the whole separating thing.

 Leon Hall: Guess I’m not telling Maria, then. Good luck, Xavier!

   Maria Barrios: Shoot- Cici, we need backup! They’re already here!

 Maria Barrios: Nevermind- they weren’t that fast.

 Julia Taylor: We’ve got this. Kane has kept most of them running for their respawn point the moment they get close enough to start attacking- we’ll be fine.

 Maria Barrios: I know, I know- I hate this small field, though. So many obstacles- it's so easy to lose sight of where you’re shooting!

 Julia Taylor: That’s life, Mari.

   Leon Hall: Almost there- hey, do they not have defenders….? A wide open base… Hold on!

 Leon Hall: Sniper- that’s how they defend the base, and let the rest of their players run towards ours! If I can just hit the base, it’s instant game over- wait, no, it’s three times in a row, isn’t it?

   Cici Diaz: Oh, by the way boys, if you all run in groups I can shoot you all down at once before you spot me! Try to spread out, maybe hide a little! Then, just maybe you’ll land a hit!

 Leon Hall: Did you just-

 Cici Diaz: Give advice to the enemy? Yep! They hate it when I do that. Toodles!

 Leon Hall: That- sure. Ok. Now… got to take down the sniper…

 Leon Hall: Shoot! Nearly got them-

 Leon Hall: Got it! Base undefended, just gotta….

   Announcer: Aaaaaaaaand it’s game over folks! The U.B.W. may have taken some heavy fire, but in the end their newest member took down the defense and the base while the rest of the team focused on getting through enemy lines! Better luck next time, R.E.D! And that’s the match!

   Kane Jones: That was a fun match! Oooooh, I got so many points, I don’t know what to do with them!

 Cici Diaz: Ah, not as many as me, though!

 Kane Jones: I did get an overall higher accuracy stat than you did, though. That counts for a lot.

 Cici Diaz: A happy trigger finger takes a few sacrifices, Kane. And that’s all I can say! Oh, Leon! How’d you do?

 Leon Hall: A… 47% accuracy, and 10,354 points? Plus the base claim.

 Xavier Washington: Oh, that’s super good for your first time though! Even if it… probably isn’t enough for Elizabeth to let you on the team.

 Elizabeth Lee: Who said it wasn’t enough? All I did was give him incentive and a goal. It was too much to ask of someone who had never played the game before- but his score surprises me anyway.

 Maria Barrios: Even I admit, the gamer boy has potential.

 Leon Hall: So… am I in?

 Elizabeth Lee: If you’d like to be. We practice Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays, time varies. Matches are always on Fridays. You’re free to join and improve your accuracy- you could make a good Wild Card, with a little work.

 Leon Hall: Thanks! I’ll do my best not to let you guys down- this was fun! And way, way less painful than paintball, honestly.

 Julia Taylor: It’s part of the reason we picked it! Keeps the clothes less dirty, too.

 Xavier Washington: You know what doesn't help keep clothes clean but is incredible anyways?Pizza! I say we go get some and celebrate a new member!

 Cici Diaz: oooooh, can we go to the pizza place next to Nitrogen ice cream, please? Pretty please?

 Elizabeth: I don't see why not. Can all of us go?

 Maria: I can go if Kane skips his skincare routine for the night.

 Kane: For pizza and ice cream on a Friday night? I can sacrifice some time. Does anyone else need a ride?

 Xavier: Me and Leon can go on our bikes. Do you have a ride, Cici?

 Cici: …No. My mom dropped me off here and I don't want to bother her on such short notice.

 Maria: You'll come with us, then. Julia, I'm guessing you'll go with Elizabeth?

 Julia: Do I ever not? Oh wait- can I, Lizzy?

 Elizabeth: Do you ever not? Of course you can. David?

 David: I borrowed Ms. Lissa’s car for the night and she doesn't need it back till tomorrow. I've got my way there.

 Elizabeth: Then it's settled! We’ll meet up there!