#is this funny? idk but it's cracking me up hours later so

[nny11writes]

Had a dream where Catra got cask of amontillado'd while Adora was sick and couldn't transform by a group of people who wanted to start a war to get Puerto Rico into the USA and were clearly the villains. I think oil was involved??? I went from being Catra to the captain of the guard trying desperately to explain why USA coming here to take resources was bad, and exasperated by it all I ripped an american flag up and Adora was so inspired she pulled the bricks down by hand saving Catra.

I type this out because when I have a fic style dream sometimes I wake up and think it's a brilliant idea (rarely true but mostly asleep I think it is) so I record a quick voice memo with the plot so I can write it when I get up.

The plot for this was "catradora fuckin free puerto rico, fuck merica" and I think that's beautiful.

[bbokicidal]

Hiii! Could you pls do some hcs for like sex accidents (like funny) with inexperienced skz? Like idk I think felix would be prone to voice cracks and Han would giggle whenever something happened. Idk feel free to ignore duh! 🫶

Sure! I'll just do a small list quick since it's late for me and I'm tryna answer inbox stuff hahaha

Odd Sexual Moments w/ Inexperienced!SKZ

Chan - Cannot keep his hands to himself because he's just soooo happy to have someone to cherish and worship, which has led to him accidentally touching your bootyhole while grabbing ass. And it's HIM who makes it weird!! Usually you're just like, eh, it is what it is and honestly it's not that bad. But as soon as he realizes it he's like omg I'm so sorry and gets all red and shy like the cutie patootie he is

Minho - Gets quiet when focused and therefore makes little to no sound in bed when he's trying something new like a position or a toy or something. And then when you ask him about it his voice gets all shy and high pitched and he's like im so sorry I didn't realize I was so silent you thought I was dead beneath you my bad

Changbin - ACTUALLY choked you out with his arms once. was behind you, wrapped his arms under your neck cause he knows you like it, and then when your moans died down he was like OH NO and immediately cradled you in his lap until you were looking up at him in confusion. it took him a few hours to tell you what happened because he was embarrassed as shit but he did eventually spill the truth even if it blew his pride to dust

Hyunjin - The w o r s t kisser in the group tbh !!! even if he swears he isn't. Tries to be super suave and romantic with it but ends up nearly choking you w/ his tongue (not that you're complaining) (you can't anyway bc youre actually choking LOL) Please help him he doesn't seem to realize how much he needs to learn

Jisung - Does not know where to put his hands no matter how many times y'all have sex. The first time he legit would not touch you unless you moved his hands to your body, and even after that he was all shy and hesitant because he's A) too scared to outwardly ask and seem nervous, and B) what if he accidentally touches somewhere you don't want him to??? Super giggly about it once he gets comfortable though bc you never stop teasing him for it in bed. (he shuts you up by stuffing his fingers in your mouth but n e way)

Felix - the voice cracks !! He's heard from both you and his friends how much you seem to adore his voice and how large of a range he has so he tries reaaaally hard to use it in a sexy way in bed. but the first time he tries to make his voice lower, it cracks and he almost keels over dead when you comfort him in a fit of giggles. (there's also a time he broke out the baby voice without thinking while squeezing lube into his palm and going "that's enough~" before he booked it to the bathroom in embarrassment and took a two hour shower while trying to muster up the courage to look you in the eye again)

Seungmin - Man has NO idea what he's doing so any time you ask if he wants to have sex and he says yes, he just sits on the edge of the bed and waits expectantly for you to initiate it. Because he legit has no idea how to start anything off. Once you get going he's totally fine and p smooth with it but he cannot start it off to save his life.

Jeongin - the first few times he has sex with you he has to pause in the middle or before switching positions so he can question if this is something god would approve of. you think it's a joke at first when you ask what he's doing and he says "asking for forgiveness" but then realize hes serious. you end up waiting patiently any time he needs to stop and ponder, but eventually he quits giving a shit and says he'll repent for it later or something lol.

[jeon-ify]

that night : j. yunho - pt. 1

a/n: this is my first actual fic since i’ve just been posting scenarios and requests :3 !! this idea came from listening to ‘you broke me first’ by tate mcrae. its a great song and it reminds me of yunho but toxic yunho. it would kinda be good if you listen to the song while reading !! idk girl i just write

genre: smut, drama, early 20s- mid 20s romance, toxic/dark romance, 18+

warnings: smut, dark romance, toxic!yunho, yunho has a threesome with y/n’s best friends, yunho is a cheater, reader swears a lot, yunho calls reader a psychotic bitch, san is a druggie, alcohol, cocaine, yunho begs, yunho gets sad and guilty, reader claims she moved on, san is annoying as hell, wooyoung is readers bestie!!

“san! i haven’t talked to you in so long, i’m sorry! how have you been?” your phone rang, you look to see that san called you about 20 times. you’ve been ignoring him, since he’s done almost every drug under the sun in the past year since you all have moved to different cities.

“man I called you 6 times. stop playing dumb. yunho’s asking about you again, please call him back. i’m sick of his shit.” san sniffles sharply. you’re sure he’s doing crack again, but when is he not?

you did not want to hear about yunho. you haven’t heard about or seen him in almost 4 years now, recovering from that night.

~~~~~~~~~~~

you call yunho, in hopes that he’d pick up. you left him a voicemail asking if he’d want anything from target when you were off work tonight.

*hello!! it’s yunho, sorry i couldn’t take your call. leave a message and i’ll call back!*

“i’m gonna stop at target, babe. did you want anything? love you, call me back.”

you finish your target run, grabbing a set of shampoo and conditioner and other necessities as you’ve been out of your favorites for a week now. you step out of the car, grabbing your bags and unlocking the door to yunhos apartment. you didn’t live with him, but you practically did since you were there almost every day of the week.

“~yuyu, fuck its so good! so big!” “you fuck us so good oh my god.”

“you’re both so fuckin’ pretty. my god.”

no fucking way.

your heart dropped to your ass, at a loss of every word in the dictionary. you felt like you were being run over by a truck 100 times over.

it felt like every moment with yunho was flashing at once.

he told you he loved you a million times a minute, you thought you were the only one. you thought that yunho would love you and only you, but how could you be so stupid to trust anyone else again?

you walk to where the noise is coming from, tears flooding your eyes, threatening to fall. the door is cracked a little, you see a pile of black hair and red hair mixed, one on top of the other. one of the girls has a tattoo on her wrist while the other has one too— it looks all too familiar.

one tattoo being a moon, the other being a sun.

your best friends.

you want to cut off the star tattoo on your wrist so fucking bad. how could they ever betray you like this? they never approved of yunho, but he’s inside both of them, fucking them on your shared bed. in your (what was once) home.

you didn’t even want to acknowledge the situation, instead you dropped the target bag at the door of the bedroom, leaving as soon as you could.

hours later, yunho calls. no answer.

you stare as your phone rings.

*32 missed calls from yuyu 🫶🏻✨*

yuyu 🫶🏻✨: hey, sry i didn’t call back. where’d u go?

yuyu 🫶🏻✨: babe?

yuyu 🫶🏻✨: y/n, pick up the phone.

yuyu 🫶🏻✨: not funny.

Read at 12:43AM

yuyu 🫶🏻✨: ur reading my fkn messages but ur not answering n its pissing me off

yuyu 🫶🏻✨: alr whatever lmao dnt pick up.

Today at 5:21AM

yuyu 🫶🏻✨: i cnt sleep, thibkin about yoj

*2 missed calls from yuyu 🫶🏻✨*

you watch your phone ring, waiting for the ringing to stop. your tears flow, deciding to call him back.

“baby? my fucking god, i mis-missed you. *hiccup* had me worried sick.” he slurs. he’s fucking crying.?

“you’re a fucking liar. my best friends? you’re drinking, you piece of shit. and you’re fucking crying?”

“relax, they’re not your best friends and i know that cus they did that to you, plus me and you baby, we don’t belong to each other. been wanting to leave. felt so fucking locked up. you won’t let me do what i want, you controlling fucking psychotic bitch.”

what the fuck.?

you watch the time on the phone call increase as he mumbles what you really meant to him.

you feel like you really did trap him, but you both didn’t agree on a poly relationship. for him to fuck your best friends is an insane thing to do to someone.

you end the phone call after 57 minutes of yunho talking about how much he fucking hated you for never letting him fuck your friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“i’m never talking to that piece of shit again and never bring him up to me. i have things to do, i’ll text you.”

you hung up the phone after 35 seconds.

you’ve grown past the situation with yunho, healing and becoming a better person. you were single, traumatized from your past relationships being a burden on you. but, your best friend wooyoung always supported you through and through. he wanted what was best for you, even though he introduced you to yunho. it wasn’t wooyoungs fault that yunho had fucked up (or was already fucked up), he just wanted to help you find someone. you had your own apartment, your own car and your own lash studio. you were booked for days on end, always working and being your own person.

but, with healing comes pain.

you’d occasionally think about yunho, how he’d pamper you in gifts and he’d take you anywhere you wanted. you thought about the nights that you’d cried to him, he’d hold you in his warm chest, making sure you were held and you didn’t feel alone. you sometimes still toss around in bed, thinking yunho was next to you, on your right side. you’d still bake matcha and white chocolate cookies as if he’d eat them with you, a reminder that you loved yunho— as your love language was baking— and every time you see those cookies, your heart begins to ache.

you pick up your phone and text your best friend, as he’s the only person you go to for anything.

—————-

to: woo 🧍🏻‍♀️

y/n: bitch get up

y/n: r u awake yet

y/n: GET THE FUCK UP BRO ITS AN EMERGENCY

y/n: if ur not up in the nect 5 minutes i’m calling the cips

y/n: next *^ & cops^*

y/n: man i just need to talk 😩 san called me

*seen*

woo 🧍🏻‍♀️: girl what the FUCK

woo 🧍🏻‍♀️: did u call the cops yet

woo 🧍🏻‍♀️: is the cop hot

woo 🧍🏻‍♀️: bitch WHI CALLED

woo 🧍🏻‍♀️: im calling u rn answer

your best friend calls you in no less than 3 minutes after your series of texts.

“why is san calling you? what’d he want?” wooyoung asks, concern masking his voice.

“woo, i just started feeling like i finally moved on from all that bullshit. he fucking calls me like ‘oh yunho wants to talk to you’ and i’ve been dodging yunho for fucking ever. i know he’s been calling me but-“ you ramble to him. he cuts you off, questioning:

“did you ask him what he wanted from you?”

���it doesn’t matter because im over it and im over fucking everything. its all bad news and i don’t wanna go down that hole again, woo. if you’re so curious ask him yourself. i don’t care and i honestly don’t wanna know.”

“okay. i won’t ask.” wooyoung says in defense. he has a sixth sense, and his sense is telling him that maybe something is wrong with yunho, or maybe he wants to try to give you the closure you deserve. though he already gave you closure— just not the kind you expected from someone you’ve loved for 6 years.

but a part of you really wanted to know why he called. a little portion of your heart still aches for yunho, but you’re healing, remember?

the phone call ends after small talk, and you stare at yunho’s contact info for 7 minutes. you open messages and read the last message he sent you. you have him blocked, but you know it’s his number.

May 19th, 2021 at 3:21AM

*You have new messages from (***)***-**** *

(***)***-****: baby, i’m so sorry.

(***)***-****: you won’t ever forgive me, but i’ve changed. my star, my love, my moon, my sun.

(***)***-****: i can’t sleep anymore.

(***)***-****: i’ll leave you alone, okay?

December 10th, 2022 at 1:21AM

(***)***-****: i can’t live without you.

(***)***-****: it’s been so fucking long

(***)***-****: js need to see ur face. keep staring at the same pic but it was so long ago

(***)***-****: my messages are green, why are they green?

(***)***-****: i met someone today, his name started with an M but i can’t remember what his name was

(***)***-****: he’s helping me heal. ik i don’t deserve to heal but i wanna be better bc u deserve better

(***)***-****: i wanna be the one for u my love

(***)***-****: i fucked up but pls believe me when i say i’ll change for u bb

(***)***-****: i’m going to sleep, goodnight my angel

January 8, 2023 at 7:08PM

(***)***-****: everythibg remjnds me of u baby

(***)***-****: ur everywhere i go

(***)***-****: ur everything i see

(***)***-****: mingi won’t let me live diwn what i did to u

(***)***-****: i deserve to fucking die

(***)***-****: i really lost u

Today at 10:32PM

(***)***-****: i still miss you, my love.

(***)***-****: want you to carry my children and be in my life forever.

(***)***-****: i’ve bettered myself. i’ve changed, please let me see you again.

*seen*

shortly after you open his book of messages, your phone rings.

*2 missed calls from (***)***-**** *

———————

you watch your phone ring twice, your heart dropping 6 times over, you didn’t think he would be this bad about it, but maybe he aches for you the same way you ache for him.

maybe yunho is sorry. maybe he changed and maybe he wants to be with you again.

your phone rings again, the same phone number showing up, as your shaky hands press the green button.

silence. the first 8 seconds is silent as yunho tries to process and come up with what he’ll say to you.

he tried calling you for 3 years on end, you’d blocked him. he was so used to your voicemail being the only thing left of you to heal him.

“h-hello?” there it is. the voice you refused to hear for almost 4 years, its there. it’s no longer only in your head, it’s his voice on the other side of the 7 inch screen against your ear.

his voice makes your stomach twist and turn, your hands sweating as your chest forms a hole within itself.

“you don’t need to say anything, just listen to me, hm? you can hang up any second you want, but if your heart still aches for me the way mine does for you, you’d listen.

my love. i’ve ruined you and tore you to shreds. i don’t even know where i begin. you are the most precious thing that has ever happened to me. the minute you entered my life, i took you for granted and fucked up. i didn’t realize how much i loved you or how much you meant to me until you left. that night is a blur to me, you didn’t deserve any of that. you deserve to be treated like royalty, you deserve to be treated in the most beautiful and enchanting way because that is how you made me feel. but i went and fucked that up for the both of us. i didn’t mean what i said to you. i was drunk but that’s no excuse to talk to you the way i did. it’s not right. it never was.

the only time i ever find myself doing right is when i beat myself up for doing you wrong.

i stay at the same apartment, san comes over and does whatever he needs to do but i haven’t touched a drug since you left me. the minute you left was the minute i decided to better myself. mingi is helping me be the person i want to be for you. my god, i hate myself for everything ive done to you. i’m not asking for your forgiveness, i know you won’t give it to me. but i want you to know that i still am here and i still love you. i love you better and i love you the way you deserve.

are you still with me, y/n?”

he breathes. you breathe. you finally breathe.

“i- yunho. i don’t know how to feel about any of this, you really hurt me and i can’t trust anyone anymore. you fucked my best friends, in our room. i don’t even know why i even looked at my phone or why i even answered san when he called me. i’m doing better, but you calling me again is really making me feel like i’m falling down that hole again.” you try your hardest to not let him hear you grow weak to his confession. his heart caved in, and his stomach grew empty when you’d brought up his mistake.

“i understand. i won’t push or do anything to make you uncomfortable. but, i want to have coffee with you, or one of us can come over and we can talk about this, hm?”

you sigh. you felt like all the healing and all the self care you’ve been doing is going straight down the drain.

but do you wanna listen to what he has to say?

“i’m free tomorrow afternoon. but i can’t stay long.” is all you say. you don’t wanna keep this conversation going, nor do you even want to talk about this at all. you are growing selfish; only wanting to see yunho because you miss the attention you used to get from him.

“as long as i get to see you, its okay. i look forward to talking to you, y/n. been waiting forever. is 4:30 fine with you?” he sniffles and lets out a calm chuckle from within his throat.

he’s aching just as much as you are.

“yes. goodnight, yunho.”

“goodnight, star.” that nickname. the same nickname that dragged you into his lore. he speaks lightly. the phone call ends and he sounds like an angel, making your head spin and your heart confused.

you don’t know whether to trust yunho again because, maybe, he is sorry. maybe he wants to make things right with you.

for the rest of the night, you cannot sleep. you don’t decide on going tomorrow, you really don’t want to face yunho after what he did to you. after 4 hours of tossing and turning, rereading texts from yunho, drinking water, and listening to nothing but the buzzing in your ear, you finally manage to get sleep.

—————————————————————————————

first fic!! yay!! i know yall are gonna hate yunho because what he did to y/n is trash and ass and all of the above. i hope you guys start to understand yunho further in the story. idk what im gonna do with this fic but i hope i come up with part 2 in a timely manner cus i dont want it to be dragged lol. but!!!!!!!!!! i hope you all like this fic just as much as i HATE it 😋

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Still With You | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter Nine

Summary: Filling in Grey on everything that happened came with a rude awakening but you calm yourself down like you always do...even if it's to your detriment Pairing : Luna (reader) x Jungkook and Jimin, f2l love triangle Word Count: 5.1k~ Warnings: Explicit language and a heated discussion that talks about death and not grieving their lost love ones (idk how else to put it) a/n: Barely edited per usual 😅 Start from the beginning

Jimin goes home after I insist on making him breakfast, using it as a sort of apology for last night. He assures me he didn't mind while giving me a tentative hug goodbye and leaves before he can see my reaction. 

I smile as I watch him scurry off and catch a glimpse of a rosy blush on his cheeks. That boy is way too easy to read and it's so endearing but I just hope he'll learn soon that not everyone has the purest of intentions at heart. 

I finally take the time to look through my notifications after cleaning up the mess left over from breakfast and out of habit I search for a sign of life from Jungkook but come up empty handed. 

I did ask him for space but I didn't realize how much I was going to miss the simplest things like a good morning text or a funny video left in my DMs.

I push past those feelings and check the notifications I do have and see a few from Grey and a message from Jin letting me know that he got home safe as well as a good morning text to check in on how I'm doing. 

I reply, being completely honest with him and let him know  that I'm feeling pretty down today, but leave out the events that happened after he dropped me off. I'll tell him eventually but I don't want to burden him with it or have him accidentally tell Jungkook. 

We both need time to ourselves and bringing him in after I told him I need space is gonna be way too confusing for the both of us.

My uncle texts me right after I close my messages with Jin asking me if I can come in to cover someone's shift and I groan at the thought of it. It's late at night though and Grey's gonna be there so I reluctantly agree. I need to tell her everything anyways so might as well get paid to do it. 

Jimin texts me later to check on me and asks if I wanted him to come over tonight. I let him know that I'm gonna be working late so I'll be fine but he jumps at the opportunity of accompanying me to work and he doesn't take no for an answer. Laughing at his antics I let him know what time I'm leaving and he says he'll wait for me outside. 

I decide to take the rest of the day to clean up my apartment and get some laundry done. 

Going through my room I grab my dirty clothes basket and take it over to my washer and dryer and as I'm placing the basket down on the floor next to them I hear my phone ringing in my room. I answer it but before I can even say 'Hello' I'm already being cut off.

"What crawled up Jungkook's ass and died?" classic Grey, I think to myself.

"Yeah about that..." I start but trail off.

"Luna, what did you do?" she asks in a serious tone clearly sensing that something big happened between us.

"What time do you start work tonight?" I question hoping she has time to come over beforehand since there's no way she's waiting for me to tell her tonight.

"I'm only working four hours tonight so I start at the same time you do" she says filling me in on the rest of the information my uncle left out.

"Can you come over?"

"Shit it's that bad huh?" she says before continuing with a quick "Yeah I'll be there in 15" but knowing her she'll be here in 30.

I thank her and she hangs up the phone, quickly getting ready to come over since I know the suspense is killing her. 

I dig through the basket and throw my laundry in but notice that the shirt at the bottom is Jungkook's. I start thinking about the past few days we spent together and I can't help but worry about him, wanting to know how he's feeling. 

Before I crack and try to reach out to him I throw the shirt in and close the lid in an effort to close off those thoughts as well. After starting the washer I send Jimin a quick text letting him know that I'll be going to work with Grey so he won't need to come pick me up. He offers to walk with the both of us but I assure him we'll be fine. 

We end the conversation there and he tells me to stay safe and lets me know he'll stop by the store later to give me pepper spray. I decline but he said he already bought it and it's nonrefundable so I laugh and tell him to come around 10.

I'm pulled out of the conversation by the sound of Grey punching in the code and swinging my front door open. "What did you do?" she asks immediately, throwing away the possibility of me distracting her with small talk. 

"Why do you assume I'm the one who did something?" I say as a weak defense. "Because you're always the one who did something" she says giving me a knowing look and I can't help but nod my head in agreement knowing that she's right for the most part. 

"Okay but this time it wasn't like that" I say continuing to defend myself. "This is gonna take a while" she says walking over to the couch and plopping down onto her spot. "So, what happened?" she says getting tired of the momentary silence. "You know how Jungkook and I got together the other night?" she nods her head encouraging me to continue. "Well he kinda sorta told me he's in love with me".

Her jaw drops momentarily before jumping in "He told you? Why didn't he tell me he was gonna tell you? After all of these years of keeping his secret and he doesn't even tell me! That's fucked up man" she says with a look of utter betrayal. 

"Wait, he told you?" I ask, completely shocked that even she had known. "Girl he didn't even have to tell me. He's been in love with you since before I met you guys. But yes, he told me like sophomore year of high school or something like that" she admits. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" I question feeling slightly betrayed. "Do you tell me everything Jungkook has ever told you?" she questions crossing her arms over her chest. "Well...no" I say in defeat. "Exactly, you guys have your secrets and him and I have ours. To be fair most of ours were pretty much about you but I guess since it's not a secret anymore we don't really have any" she says with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Did you really not know?" she continues. "No! I had no clue! I mean, I always knew that we were close but I always told myself that he didn't like me like that" I admit. "Well then you're more clueless than I thought you were" she says while picking up her phone to check the time. I let out a slight groan and cross my arms over my chest, already haven beat myself up about all of this. 

"Girl, that man has been following you around like a lovesick puppy ever since you guys were kids" I grow silent having a few memories flash through my mind of when he really did show that he liked me and as much as I hate to say it there have been a lot of them. 

"So, what happened after that?" she prods further. "Well I sorta freaked out on him and had a panic attack" I say rubbing my neck. "You did?" she cringes gaining secondhand embarrassment and I nod my head, mortified that I have to live through it and talk about it again. I see almost a look of pity in her eyes but it's gone in a flash and is replaced with curiosity, silently waiting for me to continue.

"He got worried and told me that I didn't have to say anything, so we just stargazed for the rest of the night. We went back to his place after we were done and nothing really happened. He said something to me when he thought I was sleeping though. Something like 'I know you're hiding something from me and I wish you would let your guard down'" I relay and he nods her head, thinking about what he could possibly mean but also knowing that she's been feeling the same way. 

"I hate that he can read me like that. I can never hide anything from him but I guess that just shows how well he knows me. Same with you" I finish off, poking her bicep. "Hey, it's not my fault you forced me to be friends with you" she says rubbing her arm. "Oh come on it's not that bad" I tease. 

"Yeah yeah whatever, but what I wanna know is why Jungkook has gone all moody on me. I texted him because I wanted to see what happened with the whole stargazing thing and all he responded with was 'I don't know ask y/n' and I was like 'Shit you used her government name? What the fuck did she do?' and he left me on read". "He said that?" I say feeling somewhat downtrodden. "Yeah..." she says trailing off.

I take a deep breath and decide to tell her the whole story about what happened yesterday...

"So yeah we're not really on speaking terms at the moment" I end after filling her in on everything. 

"Shit, that's heavy" she says under he breath, "I know. I've been over thinking this whole thing but this is Jungkook we're talking about. I don't want to lose him if things go wrong" I say feeling myself getting choked up at the thought. 

"Luna you're not gonna lose him, that boy loves you way too much to let you go" she says while rubbing my back trying to reassure me. "You know everyone keeps telling me that but none of us really knows what Jungkook is gonna do except for Jungkook! It's seems like it was pretty easy for him to shut me out right away so what's stopping him from just disappearing? Grey I'm fucking terrified, and I really don't know what the fuck I'm doing" I say, reaching my breaking point.

"Oh yeah, and then on top of all of that I guess I have a fucking stalker now" I say letting out a laugh dripping in sarcasm. Grey looks at me clearly confused and all I can do is nod towards the envelope on the table. 

She picks it up and gives me a questioning glance before she empties out the contents on the table. The frown on her face keeps on getting deeper and deeper with every picture she sees. 

"Luna, what the fuck?" is all she says waiting for me to explain. "Yesterday when I came back home from the whole fiasco with Jungkook, this was waiting for me on my doorstep. No one was in the hall, and no one was on the street outside" I explain plainly. "Do you think one of your neighbors did it?" she questions picking up some of the pictures that she's in. 

"Maybe? I don't really know though, I haven't had a chance to really process it, let alone think about who it could be" I pause for a second when she gets distracted with a picture of Jungkook and I kissing. 

"I asked Jimin to come over last night" I say nervously, not knowing how she'll respond. "Jimin? You mean that kid that came into the store the other day? Don't tell me you guys-" "No! No, nothing like that" I say cutting her off. 

"When I opened the envelope up for the first time I started to freak out you know, the whole nine yards. I meant to call Jungkook because he's the one who, well you know, the one who usually helps me get through it but when I went and clicked on my most recent texts I guess Jimin was close enough to Jungkook that I accidentally called him" she nod along, understanding the situation and waits for me to continue.

"I told him I called him on accident but I was already too far gone that he could tell something was wrong. He offered to come over, and I said yes. Thinking about it now, it might've not been the best decision" I admit and she cringes, a clear sign that she agrees with me.

"He knows about Jungkook now... more than I would've liked him to" I say picking up a picture of Jungkook and I from when he came over the other night. "What are you gonna do?" she asks trying to figure out where my head's at. "What can I do? My best friend is in love with me, and tells me at the same time a new guy conveniently walks into my life. Now I'm confused because I already started to like Jimin, but Jungkook and I have so much history and that's the problem. I love Jungkook, I've loved him for years but I pushed those romantic feelings to the side because I thought it was hopeless to even try. Everything is just so confusing and I keep on telling myself that and everyone that talks to me knows it's my excuse as well. I feel like the world is caving in on me and I don't know why. I have two guys who have a crush on me, big deal" I say sarcastically, letting out a shaky breath. 

"It's so stupid and I don't know why I'm taking things so seriously" I let out, tired of holding it all in. "I wish everything would just stop so I could catch my fucking breath" I finish ending my rant for the moment. "I think I know why everything is hitting you harder than usual" Grey says trying to bring me back down from the fit I've worked myself into. I look at her expectantly waiting for her to continue but I wasn't prepared for what she said next.

"The anniversary just passed didn't it?" hearing it now makes me feel stupid, seeing as she found the cause for all of this pent up anxiety so quickly. 

"I guess I forgot..." I lie but she won't let me gloss over it. "No for fucks sake Luna you didn't! I know you like to go around and pretend like everything is fine but you can't just forget about what happened to them. Keeping all of these things to yourself isn't going to magically make it all go away. Your parents died Luna, don't you think they at least deserve to be acknowledged?" she finishes the lecture she gives me every year and I never know how to respond. 

"When was the last time you went to their grave?" she asks in a softer tone. I shake my head and wipe away the tears that are threatening to fall "I don't know" I say getting choked up. "I know you would like to think that you've moved past that part of your life and that you've healed but in all the years I've know you, you really haven't given yourself time to do anything about it" she says taking a hold of one of my hands. 

"I love you, you're my best friend and I want to be there for you but there's only so much I can do. At the end of the day you're the only one that can choose to heal".I know she's right, fuck she is so right but I can't bring myself to fall apart like that. If I do...well then I don't know what'll be left of me. 

I've dealt with this pain bubbling under the surface for so long, giving fake smiles and crying behind closed doors, but just enough to be able to force that fake smile again. The only ones who have ever really brought out that true smile have been Jungkook and Grey. Without them, I don't know who I would be, or if I would even be here anymore. 

"I can't do it" I let out just loud enough for her to hear, tears free falling. "Why can't-" "Because I don't know how!" I say raising my voice at her. "There's too much, too fucking much that I just... I don't know how to let it all out. I feel like if I do I'll shatter into a million pieces and I'm afraid that the next time I look in the mirror, I won't recognize myself. I've been like this for so long that I don't think I could put myself back together again once I fall apart" I choke out and stop to catch my breath.

"Don't you want to let all of that go?" she tries but I can't accept that. "That's all I have left!" I yell through a sob. "That's all I have left of them, the pain, the trauma, that's all I fucking have left of them. Call me sick but holding it all in feels like I'm holding onto the broken pieces that they left behind. If I let that go... then there's nothing left" I finish trying to wipe off all the tears that were streaming down my face, only letting go for just a second like I always do. 

"I have no memories from before the accident, everything is gone. All the times we spent together and the love that they gave me, it's all gone. It's been suppressed for so long that sometimes I don't even remember what they looked like" I say looking up at the ceiling and blinking back the rest of the tears before they have a chance to fall again. "I only have one picture of them here and I put it in a drawer because I can't bring myself to look at them without falling apart again".

Grey takes a moment to think and I take that chance and get up to grab us both a bottle of water from the fridge, slowing my breathing and trying to calm myself down. 

"I didn't know..." she trails off, not knowing where she should take this. "No one does, not even Jungkook" I say curtly not wanting to elaborate further but she presses anyway hoping I'll let her in a little more. 

"But didn't he meet you right after it happened? You guys didn't talk about it when you were kids?" she asks but I shake my head. "Jungkook wasn't like that when we were little. He knew I was hurting but he never pressed me to talk about it. I would open up to him sometimes but he knew my limits and he didn't want to push past them. Once we got older he talked to me about therapy a few times but I always brushed it off saying I was fine and that I was just feeling a little sad that day and we would drop the conversation" I explain. 

"He seems pretty pushy with you though, or at least from what I've seen" she says tilting her head, confused at the explanation I've given. "He makes me open up and talk about other things sometimes but when it comes to my parents or my family in general he tends to leave it alone. I'm pretty sure he knows I need professional help to unpack all of that shit" I chuckle dryly. 

"But you still don't want to go? I could go with you if you want" she offers but I shake my head, "Jungkook has said the same thing to me many, many times and I also told him no so can we just drop it, please?" I ask, taking a drink of water to break up the conversation and luckily she complies, taking a drink of her's as well.

We sit there in silence for a bit before I decide to break the built up tension thats been created between us. "Well," I say patting my thighs before standing up and clearing my throat, "why don't we get out of here? There's this new place that Jimin took me to the other night and I wanna show you!" I say quickly changing the subject. 

She shakes her head at me and rolls her eyes "Yeah, but you're paying" she says, standing up and grabbing her bag to go. "Fine, but give me like ten minutes to get ready and then we'll go" I say and rush into my room to get dressed while she lets out a big sigh of annoyance and slouches back down onto the couch. 

Going into the bathroom to brush my teeth I notice how bloodshot my eyes are from all the crying so I quickly open the cabinet behind the mirror and search for my eye drops, hoping they will soothe the burning sensation that had been a natural consequence of showing more emotion than I had planned to. 

I blink a few times after I apply them, letting the drops settle in my eyes and wipe away the excess before brushing my teeth and washing my face hopefully getting rid of the red tint thats still splayed on my face and dry off before getting dressed for the day.

Stepping outside the building was a lot more jarring than I had anticipated, feeling the violent urge to look over my shoulder every few seconds but I do my best to shake off those feeling and focus on getting to the subway station. I try to keep a constant conversation going with Grey about her new kitten Smokey and how he's been driving her nuts to distract me from it all and for now it seems to be working. 

"If I would've known how difficult it would be to take care of a kitten I would've gotten a goldfish instead" she huffs as we get off at our stop but when we start to walk towards the exit I see a figure lurking in the shadows as we pass by and my body goes stiff in response. I'm only brought back once Grey pulls on my arm to keep going, trying to get us out of the busy stairwell. 

I follow her wordlessly until we get to the top of the steps and it's then when she takes in my body language. "You okay? You look like you've just seen a ghost" she says with a crooked smile. "I thought I saw someone watching us so I got a bit spooked but it was probably just my imagination" I say physically shaking off those feelings. "Come on, the cafe is just around the corner" I say now switching rolls, with me now pulling her along instead.

It's pretty easy to spot the place as it's the only one that's doused in a violet hue and I get even more giddy the closer we get. 

"This place has pretty much become once of my favorite places in the city" I say proudly even though I've only been once. "Bora?" Grey says unamused, "As in Purple?" she asks and I nod my head while dragging her in, secretly hoping she'll love the place too. "Very creative" she says still criticizing the name of the establishment but I don't take it to heart. She's never the type to get excited about cute or themed anything so I'm not phased by her reaction. 

Once we make it past the entryway and are greeted with the ever glowing neon lights is when her interest starts to peak. "I'm surprised it's not one of those girly fairy like cafes you've taken me to in the past" she says as she roams around on her own, checking out the interior and I smile knowing that deep down inside she's loving it. 

"I'll go get us some drinks, are you hungry?" I ask and she nods and continues to make her way over to the records displayed in the far corner that I failed to notice before. Seeing as music has been a big interest of hers since before we had met I'm not surprised to already see her flipping through their collection and messing around with the record player.

Making my way over to the counter I place our order and head back to pick out a table close to where she seems to be still tinkering with the poor thing. 

"You know it's probably more for show than anything else" I say teasingly and she sits down with a silent huff confirming my suspicions. "You could always ask them if they ever thought about getting a real one" I suggest but she waves off the idea. 

"Too much of a bother" she says and shrugs her shoulders "They've got a pretty good sound system in here anyways so I'm sure they don't plan on it. The records they have are cool though" she says while letting her eyes wander around the rest of the place. 

"Well then they must have good taste if even you like them" I say before someone joins our conversation making me jump. "I guess that would be me" a charming guy with a purple apron says as he walks over with our order. "You like Deftones?" Grey asks giving him a once over."Is that so hard to believe?" he says with a sideways smile but before Grey has a chance to open her mouth to utter something that I'm sure would come off as harsh I jump in changing the subject. 

"Oh um, we didn't order those" I says glancing down at the pair of lilac macarons "It's on the house" he says giving me a smile while placing it on the table along with the rest of our order. "It's new to the menu so let me know what you think" he says giving us a shallow bow and tucking his tray under his arm before he walks back over to the counter.

"He was cute" I say to which she responds with narrowing her eyes at me, clearly meaning that she thinks the same. 

"What, no insults? You usually say 'Ew he looks like a piece of gum that's been stuck to the bottom of a garbage man's shoe' or 'He looks like how the sewer smells' or the dozens of other insults you've thrown out whenever I've pointed out a guy to you" I continue with a teasing smile grabbing one of the macarons left in between us. 

"This one isn't too bad though" she mumbles under her breath. "I'm sorry what was that? I couldn't hear you" I say continuing to embarrass her even more. "Shut up" she says copying me and throws the whole pastry in her mouth, her eyes widening when she takes in the flavor and lets out a groan. 

"Shit these are good!" she says, clearly sad there isn't another one. "I could go order more if you'd like?" I say making moves to stand up but she grabs my hand and pulls me back down into my seat. "It's fine we've got other stuff here already. By the way, what the fuck did you order me?" she says glancing at the beverage that was placed in front of her.

Yours is called 'The Stars' and it's a lavender lemonade with a splash of butterfly pea tea and popping lychee boba. Mine is called 'Rain' and its a black cherry iced tea" I say taking a sip of my more conservative dark purple drink compared to her bright colorful one, both in stark contrast to our personalities. 

"Why'd you have to get me the girly one?" she grumbles taking a sip of the purple concoction, surprised at how much she's enjoying yet another one of the menu items. "Because I knew that you would like it...even if you didn't want to admit it" I say with a sideways smile before taking a glance down at my phone seeing a message from Jin.

'What's got you feeling so blue?'  he asks, hoping not to sound too pushy.

'Just Jungkook stuff. I still haven't made up my mind but I'm worried about him, he's never blown up on me like that so I feel like something else might be wrong' I send quickly before placing my phone face down and cutting the croissant I got us in half, smiling at the huckleberry filling cross section. 

"They really wont let up on this purple theme huh?" Grey scoffs with a shake of her head taking half of it for herself. "I guess not" I say laughing at her clear disgust with the mystery substance but takes a bite anyways trusting my judgement. 

"Well I guess it wasn't a huge chore coming here seeing as everything here tastes alright" she says, admitting that I have good taste this time around. 

"Wow high praise? Looks like someone woke up on the right side of the bed today" I say never letting up on the teasing. She's always teasing me mercilessly at work so I don't feel bad poking fun at her today. Gotta take the opportunities when I can. 

"I take it back you have shit taste" she says trying to fight back. "Nope what's done is done, can't back peddle now" I say  playing coy and she finally accepts defeat, slouching back into her seat, her preferred state of being in almost all situations.

After finishing up Grey heads towards the exit while I place our dishes in the designated bin. 

"Everything was amazing and those macarons were to die for!" I say fulfilling his request for our impressions. "I'm glad you liked them! Here take a few more for the road" he says bagging up two more. 

"Oh I couldn't possibly take those! You already gave us the other ones for free" I say shaking my head no. "Well I've already boxed them up so they can't go back in the case. It would be a shame to waste them" he says and now I am on the receiving end of his coy antics. 

"Well, thank you" I say as he places the small box in the palm of my hand but I quickly slip a few dollars into the tip jar before leaving with a shy smile. "Come back again soon...both of you" he says clearly telling me he's curious about Grey without telling me. "Don't worry we will" I say and wave him off before running out the door to catch up with Grey. 

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[akajustmerry]

do you have a top 5 richonne moments?

hell YEA. 💕

In Alexandria when they first get there and rick has one of his classic covered in blood madman monologues and she comes up behind him and knocks him tf out mid sentence and later, he's basically like thank you for not letting me lose my mind <3 it's hot because 1) rick is so hot when he's in maniac mode 2) michonne is so hot when she steals scenes and 3) you know if anyone else did that to him he would NOT have thanked them lol. true LOVE. (I also love this scene cos the first time I watched it was with my then bestie and he was like "rick got MICH-OWNED" and we laughed for ages)

would be remiss not to mention that moment in season 3ish (???) when michonne tries to cheer rick up by letting him know she too also used to talk to her dead ex so she's not bothered by him seeing things and rick smiles for pretty much the first and only time that season hehehe.

it's not really a richonne moment in that way, but danai and Andrew's performances while Carl is dying are so good. like there's a lot of stuff in twd that's forgettable but not that. All the love that's there between the 3 of them in that scene is so guttwrenching and there's the added element of how the cast knew the death was for such bullshit reasons idk. for a death that was so unscrupulous, their performances made it mean something so full of love.

on a lighter note, that bit in I don't rmr what season when rick is gonna head off to do something insane about the junk people or the saviours or whatever and michonne kisses him Like That™ sksksksnsnsndn it's not just because I love them and they love each other so much but also that I'm bi and wanna be them both so badly I could chew on titanium bricks. like that's what mitski is singing about when she's like, "give me one good movie kiss and I'll be alright"

honestly, a lot of people talk about horny and cute they are in say yes and amen 🫡 BUT since that episode is also the richonne thesis statement and manifesto the combat scenes are also SO GOOD. like, richonne isn't just a hot couple madly in love, they are an undefeatable combat duo. even before they were together when they go on their first runs and fight off the governor and terminus etc, they're so (I'm sorry I have no other phrase) drift compatible. they don't even need to speak most of the time they just know what to anticipate from each other. the way rick and michonne fight as such a seemless team with so much trust. unparalleled. genuinely, hope I know a love like that someday (minus undead shit).

this doesn't count because it's just a danai/Andrew moment but that episode in season 8ish when rick's imagining life growing old in Alexandria with michonne? anyway, I think it was in talking dead or something and danai and andrew were being asked about how the make up department aged them and andrew is like, "it was so RUDE. I had to spend hours getting all this old man make up and then I walk on set and all they've done is give danai grey hair!" and she's just like, "well, Black don't crack, baby" they're so funny 🥹

[simonsrosebud]

“It becomes kind of a lost and found situation” MY GOD. I WANT TO KNOW MORE PRETTY PLEASE

AHHH my wish is ur command, this is the full rundown on how Andrew stumbled upon Blake and brought her and Elliot into his and Neil’s family

So Andrew waits in the shed and catches her when she opens it. Mans is bored okay let him live.

Blake drops the bike and tries to run, and promptly trips in the still wet grass from when it rained an hour before. She kinda twists her ankle and tries to run again but can’t, and Andrew tells her to get up. She’s the same height as him and all fight, yet quickly folds when reality sinks. She begs him with mud on her arms and side of the face not to call the police or her dad “I-I was just- the 24 hour pharmacy is six miles away and I can’t drive and I just needed-” she’s close to hyperventilating and starts trying to back away. And Andrew tells her to knock it off. “You do this three times a week” boom got her. “I… I work there.” “At the pharmacy” “At the checkout counter,” she scowls. “At midnight” “I have school” “Not at 4pm” “I- look, are you going to get me in trouble or not?” “Contemplating it. Tell me the truth first.”

Blake works at the 24 hour CVS at 12-4am bc she doesn’t trust leaving her brother at home when she’s not there. Night time is safe bc everyone is asleep and safe. When she tells Andrew her brother is 14 and not like 3 he tries not to assume the worst. Because of this, he gives her Neil’s ratty old bike that’s been sitting for years, pumps the tires, and drops it on the grass for her. “Petal with one foot”

I should mention that he does this not bc he feels bad about her working at 15 years old but because he can’t won’t afford to get involved. She’s not his kid, she doesn’t know him, he has no ties or responsibility to her. He doesn’t know her situation, she never says anything about abuse and not every situation is like his own past, but he just has this sick feeling anyway.

That should’ve been the end of it, but two weeks later the bike shows up back in the shed looking like it’s been run over. A note attached reads “i’m sorry”. Andrew leaves $20 by the electric bike and writes “take the fucking bus” under her handwriting. 4 days later the money is gone.

Blake is gone for another 4 weeks, and then when Andrew can’t sleep one night he sits outside smoking a tiny bit of weed (bc Neil made him give up cigarettes long ago) and he catches her walking down the sidewalk. She freezes bc she was definitely about to borrow the electric bike again. This time he allows it. Neil hasn’t used the thing consistently since he was 38 (4 yrs ago) anyway.

2 weeks later he catches her outside again, this time texting Renee who is on the other side of the world for something he doesn’t care enough about, and Blake has a bruise on her jaw and a cut on her cheek, bandages around her one wrist/hand. “Bicycle accident” is what she says. “Funny. The bicycle is scuff free” He sees the brief panic in her face. “Who is hurting you?” bigger panic “No one, you’re crazy” “Maybe once. I know abuse when I see it” “fuck you, you don’t know me” he scares her off. No trace of Blake for 2 months, bike untouched.

2 months later, Andrew goes to the 24 hour CVS to get smth idk, not thinking ab it being Blake’s workplace, but what do u know? Blake is at the counter wearing a turtleneck in summer. She doesn’t notice him w her headphones in, and smth in Andrew cracks when she lifts a scratched up a bruised hand to lightly pull the neck down and itch, revealing the bruises. Her eyes are hollow when she sees him, recognition insignificant, but as soon as she realizes what he’s rlly looking at she silently shakes her head as if saying “no, not here, not now, not in front of others pls don’t say anything”.

Andrew leaves without purchasing anything.

However, when she steps outside 20 minutes later post-shift Andrew is waiting on the hood of his car. “If you lie to me, I will call the police and you can let them find out who choked you.”

Scratchy voiced, like she screamed too hard at a concert, she says “No-No please don’t, I can’t- you can’t call the police” “Give me one good reason not to” “He’ll- I’m only 15, they’ll make me quit my job and we can’t to afford- and they’ll split us up, and he- Elliot won’t- he can’t- oh my god” she starts breathing heavily and raggedly and trips over herself into the brick wall of the CVS. She’s never had a panic attack before and she can’t catch her breath and is she allergic to something? Is she dying? Andrew makes her sit without touching her, and waits her out patiently until she’s breathing normally.

“Please don’t call anyone” “Then show me” “Why? What the hell do you even want?” Andrew wishes he had an answer to that but he doesn’t. What does he want? For this kid to not die at the hands of someone else? To get off better than he had? Andrew’s been retired from exy for 6 years now, and sure, he got bored sometimes, but aiding a teenager he didn’t know out of abuse or through the foster system wasn’t something he was really looking to add to his plate.

To be honest, he’d been hoping that the bruises were from a boyfriend that she could just break up with. But Andrew knew better.

He wouldn’t know without seeing her wounds, though, and he’d done the trade game once to know that sometimes it worked. He pulled the sleeve of his shirt up and showed her his scars. She didn’t know who he was, there was no one for her to tell. He didn’t care anymore as it was.

“I gave myself these when I was younger than you. When things got worse, I got myself sent to juvie just to get away from it. I will make you a deal. You tell me the truth about what is going on, and I will get you away from it.”

“Not to juvie, I hope” she jokes meekly. He shakes his head and she just deflates. “It’s our dad” she whispers like he can hear her “He was always rough handed, but then our mom died two years ago and he just started getting really bad. Like, slaps me or spanks me for talking back, or-or throws shit all the time. I had- my hands were all wrapped up cause he threw a vase and it shattered, and I had to clean it up cause he won’t and he just- he just shoved me down into all the broken pieces and it cut me all up” she was crying again, shaking hands pressed to her eyes “and he almost drowned Elliot cause he thought throwing him in the lake over and over again would teach him to swim,” and oh that was an ugly sob “so now I make Elliot st-stay after school for sports and go right to his room after. I’ve been cooking our meals since mom died but dad doesn’t go to the grocery store and sometimes he barely gives me enough money to get food, so I’ve been working-” Blake cuts herself off bc she is trying not to panic again, and when she opens her puffy eyes she’s met with Andrew’s calm but blank stare.

Andrew doesn’t have the luxury of staging a car accident anymore, though. “And the neck?” “I told him I wish he died instead of mom” “Good”. Andrew stands and unlocks the car “We are going to get your brother, and then I am getting you out of the house. How long will it take for him to notice that you’re gone?” Blake looks scared again “I-I don’t know, he’ll notice, but he probably won’t do anything about it until night time. But he-he has my location on my phone”

Easy fix, she turns the location feature off and Andrew drives her to him and Neil’s house first bc he wants Neil as extra help just in case. “The girl that broke into the shed” “Oh, uh, hi? Why is she outside our bedroom?” Andrew switches to German “Her father beats her and favors drowning her brother.” Neil sits up bc okay that’s got his attention, and the first thing he says, albeit cautiously, is, “Does he… do I need to call-” “No” and phew thank god. Neil doesn’t need two confirmed hits on his hands. It’s been 23 years since he got rid of Grayson for Jean.

“We need to go get him out of the house, and in the morning we need to call our lawyer. For them” “Why not the police?” “She said no.” it’s so telling that that’s enough for Neil to get on board “Well, alright. Not forever, but definitely for the night”

Blake is kinda taken back by all of Neil’s scars bc he was sleeping shirtless after all, but then they’re leaving the house again and Blake is on the phone with Elliot that only gives Andriel a one sided convo about “we’re getting out of there for good, pack what you absolutely need, the rest we’ll… i don’t know, we’ll get another time, maybe…. yes, i’ll be there soon. don’t leave your room, i’m gonna go in and pack and then we’re out. quick and quiet, hear me?”

Anyway, luckily their dad isn’t even home they don’t know why. Neil sees Elliot looking through the window as they pull in, and when they follow Blake up the stairs Elliot trips backwards away from them “Who the fuck are they?” “We’re neighbors, kind of. We’re getting you out of here, take it or leave it” “El, it’s fine, please, I promise”

Neil goes with Elliot, who has a black eye and bruises from rough fingers on his forearm. “Dad left in a rampage when he saw you were gone, i told you that job wasn’t fucking worth it”

But then all four of them are safe in Andrew and Neil’s house, and King immediately goes over to Elliot who promptly collapses into a panic attack against the front door. He and Blake sleep in the guest bedroom except they really don’t sleep bc Andrew and Neil can hear the hushed whispers and questions and crying, because they might be in a strangers house and they might not know what comes next but they’re out and they’re safe and they’re going to be okay.

[rookiesbookies]

Saw this tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8xG488k/ how would the 141 guys feel about reader getting it done as a surprise for them?

First off Imma do this fast since it’s a holiday one and they’re almost over.

Secondly, they’re all giggling their asses off but I’ll do you one better I’d do if the reader got it and if the guys got it and for the guys I’ll tell you which one they’d get.

Here’s the link to the tiktok (the link is wrong now and i lost the og video)

Deck the Pubes

Name is a work in progress

Price

You get it:

He’s fully belly laughing so hard he can barely breath. He thinks it’s the greatest thing. Definitely stuffing his face in it. He can’t get over it.

They Get it:

He’s getting the Grinch. He’s always trying to tame the bush but it grows out in the night anyway. He’d have to get done an hour before to get it to stay trimmed. But painting his hair green? That was something he could do. He did the paint all the way up his happy trail. It was edible paint because he knew you may want to get your face all in it. Definite is doing it next year.

Soap

You get it:

He’s giggling while he has his face between your legs. He’s definitely doing that next year. Snagging polaroids for when he goes on missions. He’s definitely telling the boys you did this.

They Get it:

Mistletoe. He’s going to tell you that you need to kiss it. He wiggled it saying things like, “come on bonnie, just a little kiss for ‘im. He misses you.” He'd commit and dye it. I feel like it would be really bad, you can see where the red stained his skin. He’s hair would also probably grow back fast and dark too like Price’s but to Soap it just means he wont have to worry about his bad dye job for long.

Ghost

You get it:

He’s not the biggest fan of christmas so he still think it was funny. He probably would sit you down and explain why christmas isn’t something hugely important to him. Definitely appreciates it though.

They Get it:

If he did it. It would be because he’s done a lot of healing or you had a shitty time at work and watching to surprise you. He’d get The Gift (lil bow shape) and bc his hair is (in my mind) finer and blonde he would have to dye it but it would last a lot longer. Could totally see Soap seeing it in the group showers and being like “OH MY GOD ME TOO” or making jokes about it just for Simon to smack him upside the head or smt.

Konig

You get it:

He’s flattered. Definitely tracing the shape with his fingers. Kissing around it, telling you that you didn’t need to wax/shave for him bc he likes you no matter what.

They Get it:

If he got it he’d get “the tree topper” (angel wings and a halo). He probably wouldnt be committed enough to dye it, he'd later shave it all off anyway. Definitely doesnt want you getting hair between your teeth, however he does learn you may like the friction against your clit when he’s balls deep. Definitely tried to shave the shape and cut himself. He would have gone to get the shape waxed but he didnt want to be judged or have to answer questions.

Keegan

You get it:

He thinks it’s awesome. Probably prefers it bare but he thinks spicing it up with the cute little shape is great. Definitely kissing around where it was waxed.

They Get it:

Bro would do the snowman. He wouldn’t dye it, but he definitely would be cracking jokes. Probably got it waxed so it’s all extra smooth. I feel like when he can he waxes. Idk. Definitely makes you give the snowman a kiss and is making Frosty jokes the whole time. Would use body paint to paint his balls to look like jingle bells I cant explain why but I feel it in my soul.

Gaz

You get it:

He’s tickled. Probably told you to tell him so you could be matching. Definitely insists you both need to match next year or get related ones for fun.

They Get it:

He’d get the christmas tree. It wouldnt dye it but he’d probably get like chalk hair color and try to put it on? His hair is so thick and curly he had to cut it short so it held shape but he was super excited to surprise you. He saw Soap tease Ghost so he’s def waxing the rest of it off with an at home kit after. But he definitely had fun with it.

Masterlist is pinned on my account as always and requests are open.

[lettingtimepass]

I WAS AT THE NERDY PRUDES SHOW WHERE THEY LOST POWER!!!

Here is my spoiler-free recounting!

After over a decade of being a Starkid fan, I traveled 3,000 miles to see Nerdy Prudes!! (The date just happened to align with a trip I was planning.) It was so surreal being in the theater! I saw Producer!Dylan and Corey L. running around with their headsets. Then right before the show started I saw Joe Moses and Tessa walk in. Also two rows ahead of me was someone in a Spiderman hat... I was like... Is that Nick Lang? No... why would he be in the middle of the audience? Later I found out I was right 😂

For context, it was raining really hard in LA and the streets were flooding. LA is not used to rain so they're not well equipped to deal with it.

Act 1 went great and then shortly after Act 2 started, BAM, the lights went off. Everyone froze. The person in the light booth said "We've just lost power." Then, Nick Lang stood up and said, "It's going to be okay everyone, we'll figure this out." And he left to help the staff. But for a good minute or so the entire audience thought it was a bit and couldn't tell if this was part of the show or not! But after a few minutes we were like holy shit this is actually happening. It took maybe half an hour or so but we were back up and running and everyone was so hype cheering on the actors when they came back on stage.

Then, during the final song, on what sounded like the final NOTE, the lights went off again. You could hear a reaction from the actors-- I can't imagine how upset they must have been in that moment! But the entire audience erupted in cheers and instantly gave a standing ovation. After the crowd calmed down a bit Nick came back out and was like "Yeah...... That actually wasn't the ending. There are two minutes left." And we freaked out 😂 They had us wait for a few minutes, but then they decided to call it. In the words of Nick, "You're the lucky audience who gets to see this show with a happy ending!" 😳😳 So yeah - I still don't know the ending. I'm going to have to buy the digital ticket so I can see the ending and also get the full experience uninterrupted. I can't wait for the YouTube version!

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT - Updated!

I think everyone's favorite part was the LORDS IN FREAKING BLACK!!! AHHHHH!!! JON AS HUMAN!WIGGLY was perfect! Also was he giving Onceler/TumblrSexyMan energy? 🤔 Can't wait to see how it looks on the YouTube version!

I loved Jon's anime nerd character. It was so damn good. The collective "Nooooooo" when the audience realized his death was imminent 😭😂

The parallels between Abstinace Camp and NPMD are very fun to me. "IT WAS GIRL JERI THAT DIRTY GIRL!"

DIRTY DIRTY GIRL WON'T YOU PRAY FOR MEEE?

Max's pronunciation of "skel-a-in" 😭 I need the story of how he decided on that or if it was written into the script?!

The Barbeque Monologues?! And that song? Jeff Blim pls. Lauren is a master through.

Someone pointed out that all the Hatchetfield shows have in-world productions: Working Boys, Santa Clause is Going to High School, and The Barbeque Monologues. Idk what this means, but it is a nice touch for worldbuilding.

The little musical reference to Nightmare time!!

I keep thinking about how Rob M fumbled the Starkid bag 😬 But Joey did such a great job as Pete! For some reason it feels like a full-circle moment between MAMD and "Joey Richter" with him playing the nerdy character 😊

Anglea was freaking fantastic as Grace. I just love her voice and how she makes it go so high it cracks! And Curt and Kim playing her parents was so good.

There's something so funny about Angela's characters being so different - Lex vs Grace - and the fact that they would hate each other 😂 Can Angela please play both of them interacting?!

Kim freaking Whalen!!!! I love her so much.

I LOVE seeing Corey and Mariah playing father and daughter again (but it's a very different dynamic than TGWDLM).

LOVE LOVE LOVE evil/slimly dirtbag Corey. HE'S SO FINE!!

I missed seeing Jeff and James on stage - I wonder if Jeff's chaotic energy would have been too much with the horny teenagers hahaha. But James would have fit right in! Oh well, we can't have them all in every show, unfortunately.

Gotta say I didn't expect them to say "Nerdy Prudes Must Die" so many times in the show 😂

The last song having pop-punk vibes?!

Anddd...... the last scene...... (yes I finally got to see it!) GRACE KEPT THE BOOK!!! Did she say "every perv must die"? Yeah, that's gonna be a lot of people on her list... Also very similar to the end of Abstinence Camp! This isn't going to go well.......

[wowowwild]

I asked for 20 but I also want to ask about 21! I love fic recs.

21. Did you ever read fanfictions? Which one is your personal recommendation?

Sorry it took so long! It took me a while to get everything in order, but here it is.

So fun fact: Whenever I read a fic I love I book mark it with the note j'adore so I can read it again later. Some of them get this note preemptively. I also tend to go through a tag on ao3 in date posted ascending order so I start with the oldest and work my way forward so I don't potentially miss anything, but I haven't made it all the way through some tags that I would like to. If there's a fic you think I would like that's not on here, I probably just haven't gotten to it yet! (Most of the newer ones on here I found through Tumblr.)

Also! I'm pretty sure any of the ones that involve smut I have marked as such, but please check the tags on the actual fic before reading! I am not responsible for what content you choose to consume!

That being said, here is Ace's All Time Best Fic Rec List (AATBFRL for short):

Nobody Can Just Say What They Mean (Series)- The first fic is Narumitsu and the second is Klapollo and I think about them allllll the time, especially Things Are As They Are altered me on a microscopic level. Rocks are just rocks, you know? (Narumitsu, Klapollo)

undeniable you (the currents pulling me onward)- Idk what to say. Kristoph Gavin dies in prison and Klavier is suspect #1. Apollo flies back to defend him and yaoi happens. I'm a sucker for Klav getting all scrungled up.

fame vs infamy (the price of writing fanfic out of spite)- It's a crack fic. It's funny. 10/10 would recommend. (Klapollo)

The Definition Of Home- And there was only one bed?!?!?!?!?! What?!?!?!?! And there was a little angst in the bed?!?!?!?!?! Unbelievable. Actually the angst was on the couch, the bed made it better. (Klapollo)

13 Hours- This fic keeps popping up in my fever dreams. I'm not even kidding. I didn't have it bookmarked the first time around but when I found it again, I was like 'oh, I know this one! It haunts my dreams!' and immediately slapped a j'adore on it. Airport Klapollo getting together.

Dig Enough Graves- This one is still being put out, it's a Klapollo roleswap and I love it. I get so excited when I see it's updated. So many things are happening and we have clues and I'm gonna figure it out, ok? *boston accent* I'm sleuthin 'ere! (rated M for violence and sex reasons)

stop the presses (series)- V funny. Apollo works as a columnist and writes thirst essays about KlavGav and gets a date out of it. I am very impressed with the coding used to make this look the way it does.

And if my wishes could all come true- I have reread this one a couple times. I think about it a lot. It is genuinely so funny and makes me feel all sorts of things. I love pre-relationship klapollo divorce complete with alimony while they were not not dating but actually not dating, Apollo you can't just assume that.

Nothing Like This Feeling- Apollo top suregery fic with a dash of Klapollo!

Turnabout Dishwasher- For when you get the hankering for a 422.6k work of art. It's like three fics in one that happen concurrently, which doesn't sound like a description that makes sense unless you read it. There are so many characters here, and shipping is part of it but it's also a whole lot of everything else. These characters are actually living and you get to take a look see. (klapollo, blackmadhi, wrightworth, look just read the tags on the fic there's so much going on)

Such Terrible Tales- A gorgeous magic filled AU with a focus on the casts of aa5 and aa6 and fun cameos from Investigations (so far). This fic is still on going and I would def recommend reading it as it comes out! I love trying to figure out the lore and what will happen next! This fic kind of pulls me off my hinges lol. (blackmadhi)

You Wear Stripes, Too?- Apollo and Klav come out to each other as trans and nb respectively.

Things Best Shared- Klav teaches Apollo guitar.

For A Bad Time Call Simon Blackquill- Iconic blackmadhi fic. I think about it all the time. V funny fake dating au with bits of angst.

Last Resort- And they were roommates! Blackmadhi roommates with lots of healing and shenanigans.

Dating for a Turnabout- Narumitsu fake dating for a case. Larry is there doing Larry things. Franziska did it to them bc she is very smart and cool.

Vacation All I Ever Wanted- I think about this sooooooo much. Tagline: One condo. Six lawyers. Seven secret plans. What could possibly go wrong? (klapollo, narumitsu, athena blackquill and trucy are there)

Alternative Dispute Resolution- Apollo makes Klavier talk to Mr. Wright before they can start dating. It's awkward (and funny) and Trucy is a delight.

Turn(about) my words- The fic where I realized I instinctively start laughing when someone gets shot. He's fine. uhhh narumitsu, phoenix got shot of course bc why wouldn't he and found family stuff.

You're Alive (And that's the only thing that truly matters.)- Klavier gets poisoned and Edgeworth tells the nurses Apollo is his partner so he can get in to see him. Turns out I don't laugh at poisonings, only shootings.

Dog Days- Apollo and Trucy go to another Gavinners concert and Polly misinterprets everything all the time.

Reckless Endangerment- One of the funniest klapollo get togethers. Pollo insults him real good while he's standing behind him, klav thinks about going abroad to study, phoenix has prosecutor going abroad ptsd, apollo might actually be into the gavinners, or at least the titular member.

Good Advice- Klavier Gavin makes categorically bad decisions in the face of love. (klapollo)

Hot For Justice- klavgav gets a muse, guess who?

Rules for Dating a Rockstar Prosecutor- klapollo first date that literally everyone is more invested in than Apollo (until he actually goes).

The Things We Do For Gym Access- Fake dating so Apollo can use the gym at Klav's place until the one he normally goes to gets fixed. Except they're actually really into each other and it's killing me everyday it's killing me I'm dead I'm dying they're so dense and in love and can't figure out why they haven't been caught and it's bc they actually feel like that and on top of pretend dating are pretending to date each other to themselves just kiss istg. Rated Explicit for sexual reasons.

The Walk to Tomorrow- Narumitsu doing Narumitsu things.

Legal Partners- Oooooooo this one! I also think about this one a lot. Narumitsu and klapollo and everyone is idiots they're all idiots. Klav and Edgeworth make a stupid, stupid bet about who has the more meaningful connection with their preferred defense attorney. I love this type of fic.

Turnabout Rubesville- Edgeworth gets accused of murder in a small town bc he's a grump. Phoenix sorts it out.

You Ever Been In Love?- Everyone gets way too involved in making Wrightworth happen, and it goes horribly until it goes right.

Gravity- Rated Explicit for sex reasons. Tbh I really like the oc. She's real cool. def read the tags for trigger warnings. (klapollo)

The soul truth (and nothing but the truth)- Franmaya! There's some spirit medium shenanigans and Lang is a bro.

Exorcism- Klapollo AU aa4 rewrite Kitty is a doll I love her these boys are unhinged look they have a conspiracy closet ok? Rated E for sex reasons.

Play Your Cards Right- Narumitsu agree to go on a date and shake hands about it. Rated E for sex reasons.

Hostile Environments (Series)- Justquill Shenanigans

satisfaction brought him back- Justquill Simon gets turned into a cat. I love fics where someone gets turned into a cat. There aren't a lot but it is a trope I enjoy. I've def read this one a couple times.

Stripped- Klapollo impending. Apollo is also secretly a stripper. Idk if this fic will ever get finished but I liked everything in it.

Curiosity Created the Cat- Klapollo impending. Also not finished and maybe never will be and only 3 chapters but in this one Klav gets turned into a cat. I'm sorry.

if it's really me you seek- Klapollo. I'm just going to post the official summary bc I j'ador'ed it but I don't remember exactly which one this is: Or, when Apollo comes home from Khura'in only to learn that Prosecutor Gavin is avoiding him, the last thing he expected was for Gavin to offer to let Apollo stay at his house while he looks for a new apartment.

As of right now this is everything in my bookmarks that I've read, I think you can figure out my favorite ship lol.

[totallyexhausted]

Heahcanon for JJK Kid!Megumi/ Dad!Gojo sickfic that my computer deleted that I'm thinking about re-writing...

okay so i know i had at one point (like climax of story) Megumi ( i think no older than 12- maybe like 9/ 10... idk) basically being one of those overly emotional and exhausted kiddos. Like his fever is high, he keeps puking, he's sticky and sweaty- Gojo gave him a bath earlier and meds---- but maybe because megs is overly exhausted he can't sleep, or you could have the noisy neighbors aspect (like they are throwing a party or something so everytime Megs goes to fall asleep or starts to relax, the music gets louder which jolts him awake and stuff). Anyway, Gojo has been walking around his apt with Megumi in his arms for over an hour or two because the kid will not stop cryin g(like that loud overly exhausted/ emotional crying kids do) and he's clinging to Gojo (something alarming in itself, and megs keeps crying about how he wants his sister - in my timeline, Tsumiki is already in the hosp and stuff). And Gojo is trying his best to calm the kid down but lets be real, this man is lost most of the time like if Reigen had to take care of Mob, like bruh. Anyway, he lowers infinity at some point and Megumi clings tighter to him, his hot fingers gripping Gojo's shirt/ arms and stuff- and Gojo starts panicking because touch...... eventually Megs falls asleep and Gojo continues walking around his apt (it's like 3/4 am) for a little while for good measure, the kid sagging against him, his tiny fingers still clasped around Gojo before the older man deposits the kid in Gojo's bed (i think i might make it where Meg was pretty sick and accidents happen dude), and basically Gojo lays the kid out on his bed before going into the bathroom and having a panic attack because this is the first time he's lowered infinity in quiet a while. Then he has a flashback to him cleaning Megs scrapped knees and hands or like a busted lip or something a few months back because Megs always got into fights (its a caring situation but also funny.... maybe Megumi defended someone and Gojo actually felt proud of him) and that brings Gojo back/ down from his PA. Eventually he falls asleep next to Megumi, the kid nuzzles in closer next to him when Gojo lays down next to him (at first, Gojo is like, ew child... but I think he'd offer comfort if Meg wanted it) and he rubs his back (because im a sucker for that soft affection), and falls asleep. He wakes up (idk probably like 1pm or something) to tiny fingers poking his cheek and he cracks an eye open to Megumi hovering over him demanding Gojo make toast. Gojo yawns, sitting propping his head up slightly, raising an eyebrow, "Excuse me?"

Megumi, kneeling next to him- "Toast. Make some."

Gojo, smirking slightly, "I see the fever burned away all your manners."

Basically ending on a funny sweet note 🙂

But the start or at least the run down, i had i think Gojo knowing the kid was sick and Megumi being like, no, im fine. And Gojo still kind of hovers (like he makes sure the kid eats, takes meds, that kind of stuff) and then later in the night Megs gets obvi worse.

And like i had a few flashbacks- Megs and Gojo meeting/ Gojo "saving" Megumi from his Devil Dogs (because it was around the first times Megumi summoned them- like he didnt have control over them and they scared him because he's like 5/6). and Gojo being like, "No, it's okay. See? They won't hurt you..."

Basically theyre puppies lol

Then another flashback to Megs visiting Tsumiki, and Gojo would take him to visit when he wanted, but he'd wait in the hallway to give the kid space.

I kind of want one too where Gojo defends Megs, or like he punches another parent (like the kid got into a fight with Megs over something and Megumi was in the right, but the parent said something about Megumi like, "no wonder the kid's fucked up" or something, and Gojo gets mad (maybe he presses Megs behind him) and he ends up punching the parent or something). idk lol

[alyjojo]

September 🏋🏽‍♂️ 2024 Monthly - Scorpio

Preshuffle: It was a message - there is nothing you can do about the impulsive, fun, immature-ish? energy in someone else that is otherwise practical & totally stable. It’s part of them. Could be dealing with a fire moon/rising.

Meditation: A crouching tiger 🐅 getting ready to pounce on another crouching tiger, very intense, they both attack and start wrestling all over the place - and the scene/camera pans out to see dozens of other tigers. Google: a pack of tigers is called an “ambush.” The two fighting are siblings.

Main energy: 7 Pentacles

What’s going on in September:

Wheel of Fortune rev, Ace of Pentacles, Justice, The Hermit & 7 Swords

This reading is keeping it 💯 I respect that. Ain’t shit happening this month 😆

7 Pentacles is the energy of having just planted a whole field of something, it’s been watered and cared for, now you’re just waiting for it to grow, and the Desert & Planning oracles with The Hermit…you’re going to be spending some time doing solo activities, catching up on shows and sleep - saving your money seems to be a big part of the reason. I do see an opportunity to have fun with friends/family, but there’s a waiting period for that so maybe someone’s birthday is later in the month.

Wheel of Fortune is rev so you’re coming out of a time of difficult cycles and lessons, you had a lot going on and it was hard to just…chill. Sit. Breathe. You can do that now. Geranium shows you as a flower 🌺 in a brand new squishy pot with lots of room to grow, 7 Pentacles is just a period of waiting to grow, you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. Treat yo’self. Those of you that are trying to date might go out once but I see you largely throwing in the towel this month. All of the fish are poison ☠️🤣 I’m seeing this 7 Swords card where the boy is carrying 7 fishing poles and I lost it, some of you are on dating apps trying to see what’s out there and throwing them right back when you try. BAD FISH 👎 Some of you may have had a bad experience with a Pisces, that’s the only sign showing up repeatedly. You could’ve had to spend a lot on something legal, parking ticket, child support, public intoxication…etc. or needing to spend money on some kind of repair or necessity has left you checking the couch for quarters (does anyone even do that anymore?) Your reading is cracking me up, some of you are naturally very funny with sarcasm, and have no lack for admirers & potential friends. I do see one around at some point, friend, co-worker, or potential partner idk, they could be just falling off the planet & ghosting. Or you are. Could be a bad fish.

Most of you are putting effort into your own self care, peace of mind, tending to your home, kids, family, etc. Some may even be declining an invitation to celebrate and staying in instead. It’s an energy of “I need to wash my hair.” Do people say that anymore? This reading…7 Swords shows avoidance, you’re avoiding everyone. Could be a parent, a spouse, especially an ex-spouse, or friends/coworkers that want to go to happy hour on a random Friday; you will happily decline and enjoy your peace and quiet at home, thank you, it’s the reunion of some old show you’ve binged watched 100 times 🏡

Side story: you may have cut off someone who was sneaky, deceptive, trying to get away with some shit and there’s been a final decision made to separate from that. You or them. Someone could be waiting on the outcome of a divorce or that could be this month and you’re “celebrating” alone, at a new beginning that’s not all that new because you’ve already planted 7 seeds here, its only a matter of time before your next harvest/bounty - financially, I assume. Most of you are quietly strategizing your next move with Planning Phase & 7 Swords, this is intellectual strategy & focus being shown. Like playing chess ♟️

Signs you may be dealing with:

Pisces, Taurus, Libra & Cancer

Oracle: ✨

32 Struggle 🥴

Struggle is a part of life - so much so that you probably know people who seem to constantly attract one struggle after another into their lives. This is their comfort zone. While struggle is natural, it is natural only so far as it lends itself to learning lessons and overcoming inner personal challenges. Beneath every one of these struggles is the gift of enlightenment. The satisfaction of a lesson learned. Use this knowledge as the light at the end of your dark tunnel. What lesson is this struggle teaching you? Alternately, after a brief setback, this situation will start to right itself.

Carried Away 🥰

Let yourself be caught up in the whirlwind of a romantic moment.

Desert of Isolation 🏜️

Traverse the desolate spaces of solitude to uncover reflections and resilient survival.

Planning Phase 🤔

Take a step back and plan the necessary steps to move forward so you may turn your goals into reality.

We enter into September as:

Geranium 🌺:

“This is another beginning.”

What appears to be an end may not be one after all. Often situations that generate our greatest fears turn into remarkable opportunities. It’s time to let go of the past, and trust that whatever is coming is better than what you’ve known to this point. You are ready to begin again. A new opportunity is coming from a place you don’t expect. There is a regeneration of some kind going on. Whatever you were pulled away from in the past was for the purpose of bringing you to a higher place. It’s time for whatever has been dormant to bloom again. Trust there is a higher plan. This is truly an exciting time.

What is to be learned in September:

Topaz 💛

“If I seek peace, I must embrace my fears.”

Topaz speaks: “To be enlightened is to realize that to gain peace, fear in the heart must be faced.” If Topaz has come to you, he is telling you that it is time to stop talking about what you intend on doing. You must just do it. Things happen for us when we take action, which is the only way to break through what is holding us back. The change that is called for here is surrender, which is an action in itself. No great tasks were ever achieved easily. Remember we do a lot to avoid what we feel will hurt us; you must understand that the pain will recede if you face your fears, allowing you to walk through to the other side. Topaz whispers “Pray for guidance and you will be assisted.” Do not despair, for if Topaz has come to you, relief awaits. By facing your fears, peace and enlightenment will be your reward. That is the gift. All you need to do is ask.

Topaz may be a lucky color 💛

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

~incorrect quotes cuz idk what I’m doing with my life lmao~

=======================================================================

Mass: I hate you with every inch of my body.

NY: Pfft- that’s not a lot of inches.

=======================================================================

NY: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute f*ckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges

============================================

Florida: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.

============================================

Georgia: Oh, fiddlesticks. 


Texas: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the f*cking language.

============================================

Texas: Truth or dare? 


Loui: Truth. 


Texas: How many hours have you slept this week? 


Loui: 


Loui: Dare. 


Texas: Go to sleep. 


Loui: I don't like this game.

============================================

Gov: You remind me of the ocean. 


NY: Because I'm deep and mysterious? 


Gov: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.

============================================

Gov: Why would you think any of this was a good idea? 


Loui: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. 


Gov: 


Loui: You literally bought me. I don’t know how you keep forgetting this-

============================================

Mass: I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

============================================

NY: *playing Stray*

~a lil while later~

B-12: *is f*ckin’ dead*

~a lil while later*~

Cat: *does the slow blink before leaving the place where B-12 died*

NY: *jaw drops slightly as tears run down his face* What the f*ck man?! I-is this h-how it ends?!

*credits pop up*

NY: NOOOO!!-

============================================

Loui: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

============================================

Delaware: Why do you fuss over them like they’re three year olds? 


Connecticut, exasperated: WHY?!? 


Connecticut points at Mass: HE TRIED TO HYJACK A CAR! 


Connecticut points at NY: HE NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK! 


Connecticut points at NJ: AND HE ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND! 


Connecticut , turning back to Delaware: AND YOU ASK ME WHY???? YOU LITERALLY GREW UP WITH THEM- YOU’RE ONE JERSEY’S BEST FRIENDS YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS SH*T!

Delaware: Ok ok calm down I was just asking-

============================================

California: Hey, can you do me a favor? 


NY: Sorry, I have to go do literally anything other than this. 


California: You don’t even have a legitimate reason? 


NY: Oh, no, I do. 


California: Well, what is it? 


NY: You see, I simply don’t give a f*ck.

============================================

Florida: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo? 


Mass: ICARUS?!

============================================

Loui: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am- 


Gov: A doll. 


NY: A cinnamon roll. 


Florida: A sweetheart. 


Loui: 


Loui: *blushing like an anime girl* ...stop it-

============================================

(HUGE cuss warning ⚠️)

Mass: Hey, Yorkie? 


NY, playing a video game with the squad: What? 


Mass: Can I share something with you from earlier today? 


NY: Wh- what is it, Mass? 


Mass: Well, I sent you a text early in the morning. 


NY: Mhm. 


Mass: Because I have to go out of town for a weekend this month. And, so I was like- I won't give specific dates, but I was like, I don’t need this kid panicking again cuz he has no idea where tf I went.


NY: Yeah? 


Mass: Your response. 


NY: *trying not to crack up* 


Mass: At 9:30 in the morning. 


Mass: "motherf**king Jesse Eisenberg jesus Christ motherf**king Facebook movie jesus can you believe this sh*t" 


NY: *laughing* 


Mass: No- no- no punctuation. Random capitalization. 


NY: You just made me dieeee hehehehehe... 


Mass: So I respond, "I have no idea what we're talking about right now." 


Mass: 45 minutes pass. I get a text from you. 


Mass: "goddamn created Facebook and frickin’ lawyers and sh*t right f**king winklevoss twins goddamn rowing the boat f**k yo sh*t i cant even f**king believe this sh*t have you seen this sh*t f**k I just watched this sh*t f**k Jesse eisenberg man" 


NY: *wheezing with laughter* 


Mass: I respond "York, you're scaring me." An hour passes- 


Mass: You respond, "motherf**king spiderman Spiderman you put in the time f**k put in the time motherf**king built stuff with his bare hands friggin’ best friend sh*t jesse eisenberg" 


Mass: "im very tired" 


NY: *struggling to breathe* 


Mass: And- and I'm just like, "No- no worries, kid, I'll- I'll do most of the talking at the meeting today-" 


Mass: IMMEDIATE, like, response, like I'm talking 5 seconds later, 


Mass: "no man ill just talk all day crap man you have to be so interested in the sh*t I have to say about the Facebook movie f**k dude I just watched it a year and a half ago f**k Jesse Eisenberg man he f**ked over Spider-man crazy Winklevoss twins rowing Trent Resin or did the soundtrack f**k this guy who invented Facebook I don't like dying I can't think of who the heck invented Facebook All I can think is who played the guy who invented Facebook who the hell invented Facebook" 


Mass: And then, in all capital letters, two hours later, 


NY: *falling over with laughter* 


Mass: "MARK ZUCKERBERG."

NY: *is a squeaky giggly wreck on the ground now*

Mass: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SLEPT BRO-

============================================

Mass: Why do you hang out with me? 


Loui: You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me! 


Mass: … 


Mass: I feel a bit sorry for you.

============================================

NY: What’s up? I’m back. 


California: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead. You got shot three times and stabbed 5 times. 


NY: Death is a social construct.

============================================

Georgia: Can we go to a haunted house? 


Loui: What’s wrong with the one we live in? 


Georgia: Wh-what? 


Loui: Goodnight, Father.

============================================

Loui, holding a knife: You know you’re talking a lot of sh*t for someone who has 2 perfectly good eyeballs each cost about $16,000 on the blackmarket. 


Alabama: *I’ve never heard silence quite this loud*


Loui: *smirk* That’s what I thought. *gets up and walks away twirling the knife like the bada$$ b*tch he is*

Alabama: *gulp*

Texas: Woooo buddy- I know your life just flashed before your eyes huh?

Alabama: Y-yea….

============================================

Gov: What did you two do? 


Loui: 


Florida: 


Gov: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

============================================

Loui: You can de-escalate literally any situation by asking ‘are we about to kiss?’ 


Loui: Doesn't work with getting out of speeding tickets, though.

============================================

NY, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it- 


Kentucky, whispering: Should we call the exorcist? 


Loui, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick. 


Georgia, appalled: Call the exorcist.

============================================

NY: Mass is off at an appointment, so while he’s gone, I’m going to cut the sleeves off all of my shirts. 


NJ: Why? 


NY: He’s like 90% of my impulse control.

============================================

[marinerainbow]

//Crying at "between the man who writes his checks and the woman who lets him touch her boobs his hands are tied" 😆

Does she...have...? Idk how anthro toon relationship dynamics work in this world, the more I think about it the stranger it becomes 😂

Shiny has the absaloute leverage over him.

Greasy: No! Olvidalo! I won't do it!

Shiny: Ohhhh baby, pleeease?

Greasy: gulps But Mi Amor, the only thing I have left to lose is my dignity!

Shiny: Then what are you worried about Green Bean? backs him against a wall Come ooon Tiger, I'll let you play later. scratches nails under his chin.

Greasy: cracks ALRIGHT I GIVE IN!

He does whatever embarrassing or stupid thing is asked of him for the mere prospect that she might pepper his face wigt lipstick kisses.

SHINY WOULD ABSOLUTELY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT! She knows Greasy's weakness too well 😅😆😅😆

Hm... Well, the only canon female weasel from the comics does have boobs (I'm sorry I just love that word XD it's just funny to me to say). But Winnie Weasel is also more humanoid than any other weasel in the WFRR universe... Which is a nice way of saying that she looks like a furry joined the animation team and this was his way of coping with his inner turmoil in a society where suxuality was still hush-hush and everything was wrong unless it was hetero-vanilla.

Who would have thought that giving a weasel long limbs and batfish lips would have instantly turned her into a disgrace.

But Shiny, on the other hand, she doesn't have that body type. She's the same height as the Toon Patrol, and posses the iconic short legs long body look they have too. I'm not quite sure how boobs would look/work on that body type. Maybe Shiny just uses hair conditioner to make her chest fur extra fluffy?? (The book Who Censored Roger Rabbit had Hare Conditioner for rabbit characters. I'm pretty certain Toontown would have a specific bran of conditioner that makes your hair fluffier than normal. But Shiny also has fluffy head fur that she styles like hair too, so that could be a part of it too)

One of the gags I can see Shiny doing is something akin to the 'trenchcoat' gag. Like, maybe the guys have to distract Greasy for some reason, and Shiny knows it (because this is one of her 'arrested by the TP' times and she's under house arrest)

Shiny: *rolls her eyes. Tosses her toast on the plate* You guys are trying way too hard.

Smartass: Oh, and you're one 'ta talk? You haven't done jack!

Shiny: Because I've been waiting for you dummies to stop and realize. But you clearly aren't gonna, so-

Greasy: *storms into the room* ¡Eso es todo! ¡Hijos de puta será mejor que me cuenten qué está pasando ahora!

Shiny: 🙄 *calmly walks right up to her boyfriend* Ey, Devil.

Greasy: Que???

Shiny: *unbuttons and rips open her shirt- conveniently out of sight from the rest of the Toon Patrol and audience*

Greasy: 😳😳😳😳😳

Weasels: !?!?!?

Shiny, cooly rebuttoning her shirt before turning towards the TP: I bought you an hour. Spend it wisely. *walks away*

Greasy, looking like he just saw the gates of Heaven: *chases after Shiny* Mí Vida! Come back! You can't leave me like this!!!

Weasels:

As you can see, for Shiny, this leaves a mystery of what she has under her shirt. Does she have the femine feature that Greasy is so mad about? Or is it just fur and Greasy is just happy to see any woman naked? The world may never know XD

[vhagarswar]

Daeron returns home shitpost.

Daeron:*returns to King's landing*

Daeron::)

Daeron that night: *asleep in his own rooms*

A door: *slammed*

Daeron: wtfff

Aegon, wearing his hobo cloak: Greetings brother.

Aemond, also wearing his cloak but his is is made of quality fabric: *silence*

Daeron; Hello. I- what is going on?

Aegon: It is time brother.

Aemond: *annoyed*

Daeron:??

Aegon:

Aemond:

Daeron:

Aegon: ask me what it's time for please I have other things to do unfortunately.

Daeron: Time for what?

Aegon: to get It wet.

Daeron; to get what wet?

Aegon: awh he's so innocent bless his innocent mind uwu adorable.

Aegon: *demonic voice* we must corrupt his soul

Aemonds mind; kittens and puppies. Meow.

Aegon: it's time to become a man

Daeron: you want me to kill someone?!

Aegon: what? No. Why do you both think of murder 24/7 what is up with that?!

Aemond: it's the traumas.

Daeron: we are at war

Aegon: fuck the damn war I wanna do something fun and hang out with my brothers!!!

Daeron: Fine. Lets go to a brothel I suppose.

Aemond:*as a big brother* ah he can't use the words whore house.

Aegon: we'll teach him soon enough.

The three of them; sneak out of the castle

Aegon: I can't believe we pulled that off

Daeron: security sucks here

Aemond; agreed.

A deep voice: You have all forsaken me. You have betrayed me. You will all perish

A cloaked figure:*approaches*

Aemond: gods is this..

Aegon: father?

Daeron: wait we have one?

The cloaked figure:*giggles*

The cloaked figure:*reveals herself*

Helaena: I heard you all sneak out. Why didn't you invite me with you? I love late night outings!:))

Aegon:

Aemond:

Daeron:

Helaena: where are we going? Is there food? I like night food. Did anyone bring coin?

Aemond; it is dangerous for you to be here

Helaena: what danger is there for me surrounded by my brother's and the fiercest warriors of the realm?

Aemond:*blushes*

Aegon: are the warriors with us right now?

Daeron: she means us

Aegon: o.

Helaena: so what do we have planned?

Daeron: they were planning to go to a bro-

Aemond: Brother! Our plans have altered last minute remember

Daeron: what but you all promised me-

Aegon: one day, young apprentice. One day.

Aemond: I was never called your apprentice

Helaena: I'm getting bored here

Aemond: i suppose we could take her to see the night Market. That is entertaining.

Helaena: SHOPPING YIPPIE

Later

A witch: do you wish to know your death child?

Helaena: no, do you? I see you hanging from the ceiling of your own house your own neck cracked and twisted-

Witch: *gawks*

Daeron: damn

Aegon, holding four cups of wine and handing it to his siblings: I got everyone a cup. Drink up quickly the night is young.

Aemond, watches someone swallow a sword: that's just a waste of the sword

Daeron: can't imagine it tastes good as well

Later

Music plays

Helaena: I wanna dance!

Aegon; fine

Helaena: No I wanna dance.

Helaena: Aemond?

Aemond, blushing: yes my queen?

Helaena: you want to hold my bag when I dance with Daeron?

Aemond:*demonic mjttering* yes of course

Daeron and Helaena; dance

Aemond:

Aegon: where did he learn to dance as that?

Aemond; can't have been with us

Later

A hobo:

Aegon: who the fuck is that

Aemond; idk keep an eye on helaena. He smells of horse piss

Hobo:???

Helaena: O, hello Ser Criston!:)

Daeron: hello! *unaware who criston is*

aemond and aegon:*gawk*

Criston: *removes his hood and looks at Aemond*

Aemond:*looks away*

Aemond; we can explain

Helaena: Daeron wanted to see King's Landing so we took him out.

Criston: during the hour of the owl? Are you aware how this could have ended for all of you?

Helaena: Please sir criston. *puppy eyes and dark magic*

Cirston: Fine but I stay. You need someone to watch you all.

Helaeana: Yess!

Helaena at some point: you know what we should do?

Daeron; *asleep*

Aemond: no? What should we do my queen?

Aegon: careful aemond I can hear your voice switch between regular Aemond and aroused demon

Helaena: Haha you're funny aegon aemond is as a sweet little brother to me:))

Aemond::(

Helaena; we should get matching tattoos

Aegon: that sounds cool let's do it

Aemond: what kind of tattoo

Helaena: a spider wearing the crown of Aegon I drenched in blood and with "We light the way' under it.

Aemond; I stand corrected that sounds cool

Aegon:*drags daeron as the three of them go find a tattoo person*

Helaena after the tattoos are finished: Oh you are all so handsome

Aemond, looking at his tattoo

Aemond; Uhm he made a mistake.

Helaena: No I changed my mind. I wanted a unicorn instead.

Daeron: It's not the worse

Aegon: What the fuck are you talking about there's a unicorn on my arm

Daeron:*walks up to a village maiden and shows her the unicorn*

Aemond: No way

Aegon: it won't work

Daeron and the maid: hit it off

Aemond:

Aegon: *in tears* my apprentice has become the master. Impossible.

Helaena::)) I'm so glad we got to do this. A positive memory between us all

Helaena:((

Aemond: I will never understand women.

Helaena: so you guys still want to go to the whore house or not?

Aegon and aemond:*nearly choke on their drinks*

---

This is what brainrot looks like

[sukunas-wife]

Not really a full ask but do you have any ideas on how to get back into writing on here 😔 took a break for the start of college and now I wanna go back to writing but I don’t know how, plus you write like so well feel like I could get good advice from you :3. Btw love you works so keep it up :)

-🍄

Little Mooshroom 🥺

🥺 Tysm

So, actually been writing on off since middle school surprisingly.

But, in 2020 after years of not being able to write anything I got really into a game (Obey Me! One Master to Rule Them All) and it kinda gave me that jump start of “This is my husband and everyone is going to know how much I adore him.”

Then after about year I lost my account and went two years with no writing and my mutuals on that account also went quiet so we were just kinda standing around looking at each other.

Then we got into the Topic of Manga’s and Anime and confessed the reason I started JJK was because I saw Sukuna on the cover and thought “Oh, him, I like him 🤭”

And through out this year whenever I’d get an idea, Headcannon, little story idea I’d just type it up in my notes and when i ran out of idea juice I’d just stop there

Go back later reread it and so if i could elaborate a little more

I guess my advice is don’t try to force an idea. But when you get those little moments/ideas try to write ‘em out even if it’s not complete. You don’t have to finish a piece in one sitting 🥹

For some reason in the moment pieces work better for me to start off because I feel like while I’m in that feeling I can write what it feels like

Vs

I’m bored/stressed let me try to write something fun

Write with the emotion you feel!

Ex: When your sad writing comfort or angst goes well

Feeling spicy? 18+ works and Nsfwish HeadCannons

Happy: Fluff/ Funny Crack ideas

Tired? Soft Sleepy Night hours

Feeling romantic? Cute dates and relationship stuff

Idk if it makes sense but that’s kinda how I go about it

Never force yourself to work, and work with what you feel 🤍

[altschmerzes]

Thoughts on the new episode???????? There were SO many jamie feels tonight

LET'S GOOOOO okay it's Thoughts Hour here at chez gav altschmerzes [cracks knuckes]

there SURE WERE and once again we get a disorganized bullet point mess of My ThoughtsTM

first off, i did indeed enjoy it in cosymode once more and this will be a recurring ritual. cannot recommend it more highly. cosymode my beloved. really enhances the experience even if it does mean i get Imprisoned By A Creature as soon as the episode ends (climbed on by my cat)

we still don't know what zava's first name is. it is still distracting me.

COLIN'S BF (!!!!!!!!) SEEMS SWEET I LIKE HIM A LOT

oh my gd all the stuff with colin in this episode was absolutely brutal. i have a..... Hard Time with narratives around being closeted just on a personal emotional level but overall i'm like, invested as hell and i love that they went this direction with him. BOY it'll be interesting to see how they handle it going forward. juxtaposing the two moments he has with isaac in this episode, the "haha that's a little gay" comment that obviously hit hard and then that sincere like, checking on him, you're gonna be alright, thing later was like. damn. damn, damn. that hit.

also - when shandy said that thing about saying something shocking in an interview i was like oh no oh boy oh no Oh Boy- colin, honey-

something is. Up. with shandy. i don't know what or how it's gonna manifest but. something is up there and idk what. there's the same sort of tense feeling to her scenes as there are with keeley's company scenes. something's on the horizon.....

also i have to believe that trent isn't going to out colin, for the record. i just don't think he's gonna do that. i have reasons, but i don't think i even really need reasons, i think it's just..... i don't think it's particularly likely even.

speaking of zava, when i said last week that i was either gonna be riveted or i was gonna want this guy outta my face right now? IT IS BOTH, IT TURNS OUT. i do not like him. i think he's bad news and i think he's like, bad news in a very insidious way. i feel like...... it was fine in this episode - again, this is a comedy, i am aware of the genre and what it encompasses - but if this like. everyone's sycophantic adoration of him stretches on much longer it's gonna grate on me real bad. this was probably the episode where i had the most acute awareness that i was Watching A Comedy than any other episode, i had to do more like, averting my eyes and trying not to fast forward in this ep than in any of the previous ones. which is fully a me thing! this a me problem! i am not a comedy guy and i am watching a comedy. but oh my gd.

getting to see sam's restaurant coming together was so, so fucking good. he was so excited and happy and i'm so thrilled to see that all start to pay off. he's so proud of what he's done here and he SHOULD be. ugh i just love to see sam successful and thriving and everyone is so happy for him [sobs into my hands] isaac being like no. you do not understand. it is the best. was so funny and very sweet. i loved it, augh.

AND THE JAMIE OF IT ALL. oh my gd. he was having a bad one this whole episode and i kind of loved it because we know me, we're realistic about who i am as a person. i love characters having a bad time sldfks as long as we're gonna do something with it. and BOY DID WE.

boy they really did get me with like. the bit in zava's first match where he tells jamie to get open and he'll find him i did have a MOMENT where i was like okay maybe he's just kind of eccentric but overall fine, maybe i was wrong and he just grates on my nerves a bit. but WHOOF. nope. so he was just fucking with jamie orrrr because. yipes!

and man the timing of seeing zava call jamie over and say something to him being when ted's almost panic attack starts is like. [shrieks into my hands] he's already amped up about henry and then he sees this interaction happening and doesn't know what's going on and it's like. jamie just told him he's got concerns about this guy and now he might be messing with him and it clearly set ted off. aaaaAAAUGH.

i'm just. so proud of jamie tbh. he isn't throwing a fit, he's celebrating these wins, he very maturely and reasonably expressed his concerns which i think he's right about - i think roy thinks he's right too, based on his face during that scene. i was really gratified for that like, i was being a hypocrite thing at the end bc it made it clear that like, this isn't the show making a 'haha see he doesn't even realize that's exactly what HE is, he's still the same....' joke. his discomfort with zava isn't just played off and i really enjoyed that.

THE WHOLE THING WITH ROY. LIKE- every time he noticed jamie was having a hard time this episode he like. seemed to be making a note of it? he didn't snort and shake his head or smirk or whatever, at least not more than once-ish, he like. noticed, made a note, and seemed worried about it. and then at the end he not only went over to check on jamie at the restaurant he offered to work with him directly? without being prompted? i could shriek.

everything about that conversation made me lose my mind. jamie's earrings were FANTASTIC. the like- 'you thought i was the best' 'you still could be' [screams into my hands] 'only if you fucking mean it' i.e. the same thing roy said to phoebe's team, and the VERY PAINSTAKINGLY SINCERE 'i do mean it' i could've CRIED.

as i said to a friend earlier, their dynamic is a rich tapestry of things that make me fully insane

(to have a bit of a gripe - we got a couple of That's A Bit Much moments in this episode too. ted agreeing that yeah, fragile little bitch is pretty much what he meant, was weird and out of step. and then roy smacking the utensil or whatever out of jamie's hand which clearly startled him at minimum at the end of the episode was like... hoo boy. we're doing this i guess. it's not the type of thing i'd like, zoom in and harp on if it weren't for everything i already talked about in the previous episode. just like. again. i keep coming back to this phrase but It's A Bit Much. i was worried i might lose steam for my 3x02 tag after the new ep but nah, i am still amped up for it.)

(oh another gripe real quick - ho boy so dr jacob is just like, the shittiest therapist, eh? like, that whole thing is. Ethically Fucked Up. i absolutely hate whenever a show is like hey this person is now dating their former therapist, it feels weird and gross every time and i already had a really bad opinion of this guy's ethics and approach to practice just based on like. we know that michelle already had a therapeutic relationship with him before she and ted started seeing him for couples' therapy which is a Big No. and maybe i'm biased here because my parents knew a therapist for several years that they ended up dragging my sister and i to see with them when we were in high school and it went really fucking badly in a way directly related to them having an established relationship with that provider but uh. bad news bears. red flags. field of red flags.)

(someone do something about jane. speaking of red flags. WOW.)

(red flags again! the psychic thing. what are they implying with the matchbook, that the psychic was RIGHT? whoooooof. that's all i'll say on that.)