#is this an American thing im too European to understand?

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

Fodlan's favorite Girl Scout Cookies!

Main characters:

Byleth: Thin Mints. They've always had an inclination towards minty flavors, and Thin Mints hit the spot just right. Rumor has it the Goddess also favored mint. I wonder if that has anything to do with anything...

Shez: S'mores. Nothing like a cookie version of their favorite snack to get them thinking about the good old days with Captain Berling's Mercenaries. They'll be discontinued soon, but maybe one day they'll come back again in another form. I mean, hey, it happened once. You can't really keep S'mores down.

Black Eagles:

Edelgard: Adventurefuls. Chocolatey, nice caramel flavor, not too sweet, and the sea salt isn't overpowering. Just how she likes it.

Hubert: Thin Mints. Edelgard insisted he try Girl Scout Cookies one time and he was a tad surprised to find he liked them. Granted, he won't go out of his way to procure some (unless Edelgard asks him to), but he won't turn them down if offered.

Dorothea: Samoas. She really has a taste for coconut, and paired with the caramel glaze and chocolate drizzle, she just melts the second she bites into one.

Ferdinand: Toffee-tastic. I dunno, this sounds like a very noble variety he'd eat, but I think he'd also enjoy the flavor. Really, you can't go wrong with toffee for him.

Bernadetta: Tagalongs. They're her favorite comfort snack. Also chocolate + peanut butter = yum. Need I say more?

Caspar: Trefoils. He doesn't care much for Girl Scout Cookies, but he can and will devour an entire box of Trefoils in one sitting if you let him.

Petra: Doesn't eat them. She already had trouble understanding what Girl Scout Cookies were, but as soon as she bit into one of Caspar's Trefoils, her immediate reaction was, "Let us not be doing this again."

Linhardt: Savannah Smiles. He is forever miffed that they got discontinued. Lemon-Ups are no substitute.

Monica: Adventurefuls. No, it's not because they're also Edelgard's favorite, she has no idea what you're talking about!

Blue Lions:

Dimitri: Thin Mints. He may not be able to taste them, but he can feel the mint as he eats the cookies and finds it a pleasant sensation.

Dedue: Caramel Chocolate Chip. He's not keen on Girl Scout Cookies, but he figured he'd give one flavor a try. That was the one he picked and he liked it.

Felix: Thin Mints. It's the only variety he can tolerate.

Mercedes: Trefoils. This is actually pretty basic even by her own standards, but as the cookies are simple shortbread cookies, she likes to crush them up and add them to her baking recipes for texture and a little crunch. She's also looking into recreating discontinued varieties to give to her schoolmates.

Ashe: Do-si-dos. You know how some people will take Oreos, twist them apart to get the filling all on one side of the cookie, then put the two filling adorned pieces together to get double the filling? Ashe does the same thing with these. It's adorable to watch.

Annette: Toast-Yays. She likes all the varieties, but this is the one she'd have to pick as her favorite. She's sad that they're going to be discontinued soon, but she's volunteered to be Mercedes' taste tester.

Sylvain: Thanks-A-Lot. Felix tossed a box of them at him once and told him to do something with them, so he ate them and liked them. It was after they were discontinued that he realized Felix probably bought them for him as a means of showing his appreciation, but Sylvain has no evidence for this. Even if it's true, good luck getting Felix to admit that.

Ingrid: Toffee-tastic. Having a gluten allergy is hell on her, but Ferdinand shared a box with her after finding this out and she was so over the moon she almost forgot to ask what they were called so she could buy some for herself.

Rodrigue: No. Just don't.

Golden Deer:

Claude: Lemonades. Honestly, he'd go for anything lemon-flavored, these are just the ones that are being sold. He likes lemon.

Lorenz: Toffee-tastic. Ferdinand introduced them to him at the beginning of the school year. Now whenever the pair meet for tea, there's always a box of these present.

Hilda: Lemon Chalet Cremes. Another lover of lemon, she ate these all the time as a kid. Her talking about them is what gave Mercedes the idea of recreating the discontinued cookies.

Raphael: Rah-Rah Raisins. Even though they weren't available long, he couldn't deny that these were just the bomb. He misses these and wishes they would be sold again.

Lysithea: ALL OF THEM! Seriously, don't make her pick one, she will blue-screen on you.

Ignatz: Caramel DeLites-- er, Samoas. They're the same cookies, he's just used to getting boxes from a different bakery that calls them different names. "Why can't they just standardize the names?" is a constant thought in his head.

Marianne: Do-si-dos. Sure, it's just oatmeal cookies with peanut butter filling, but with how often Hilda would bust out a box of these whenever she got down, Marianne ended up associating the cookies with happy memories and longs talks about nothing with her best friend.

Leonie: Thin Mints. She'll say that she thinks Girl Scout Cookies are mid and doesn't get the hype, but break out a box of Thin Mints and Leonie will channel her inner Lysithea.

Holst: Lemon-Ups. He's also not much of a Girl Scout Cookie guy, but he'll occasionally pick up a box when he's in the mood. He's also known to steal a cookie or two from Hilda's boxes.

Judith: Van'chos. To say it's been years since she's had her favorite cookies would be an understatement. She misses them so much.

Ashen Wolves:

Yuri: Savannah Smiles. His mom would buy him a box every year and he fell in love with them at first bite. He misses the way the powdered sugar would shake off the cookie.

Balthus: Not a sweets guy, but he's the perfect guard for the other Wolves' cookies.

Hapi: Apple Cinnamons. Like Annette, she likes them all, but those would have to be her favorite if she had to pick only one. These days, she only eats knockoff versions since they've been discontinued since she was little.

Constance: Caramel Chocolate Chip. If you had asked her a few years ago, she would've said Tagalongs, but once these got introduced, it was so over. There's a new favorite in town.

Church/Knights of Seiros:

Rhea: Iced Berry Pinatas. These were a beloved treat for her over the years (and she's got plenty of those!). The icing and the berry filling together were perfection. She's encouraging Mercedes' recreation efforts.

Seteth: Another non-eater. He used to eat them a lot when he was younger, but he got burnt out on them. He'll still happily buy boxes for Flayn.

Flayn: Adventurefuls. She can taste the sea salt more acutely than others, but it makes her love the cookies that much more.

Cyril: Trefoils. Honestly, he just wants something plain and simple to snack on. What could be more plain and simple than basic shortbread cookies?

Jeralt: No thanks.

Catherine: Samoas. Taste doesn't matter to her, it's more of a texture thing. It helps that they have something of a crunch to them.

Alois: S'mores. The old school, big graham cracker ones, not the current ones. He used to do all sorts of snack variations with them for his kid and it was just the sweetest thing ever to see.

Gilbert: He would tell anyone who asked that he likes the cookies, enjoys them even, but in reality, he doesn't eat them. He instead sends them off to Annette. He knows she'll appreciate them.

Shamir: Scot-Teas. You were expecting Thin Mints, weren't you? It turns out she's not a fan of the chocolate/mint mixture, it grosses her out. Trefoils would've been her favorite, but the addition of sprinkled sugar on top made Scot-Teas perfect for her.

Go support your local Girl Scout troop!

what.

[beneaththebloodylake]

「You're thinking 'people from Kansai are stingy' aren't you. ... Actually it's just me who's personally stingy.」

literally me but with uk/europe/whatever distinction americans decide to assign me

[thedevotionaltour]

i havent even read enough gl to justify the feelings and emotions i have about kyle i just have the lovers heart and also something wrong with me. and my projection. in my mind he's just like me. and he would have loved college vending machine frozen cheeseburger and heating it up in the microwave at 1 in the morning because he was bored and didn't want to work on a drawing assignment on 20" x 30" paper that was due tomorrow in his freshman year. he would have loved going to the club to push off finals work that's creating the worst stress known to man in his brain. and he would love to annoy the fuck out of his roommate when high and avoiding homework on a saturday.

[woman-respecter]

hi, i'm the soviet jewry anon

there's so much to kvetch about, i dont know where to begin

i was gonna traumadump but im gonna rant about jewish history instead

well ever since i noticed activism becoming an internet trend i knew we were doomed cuz a part of soviet antisemitism is an intellectualisation of jew hatred (that's why stalin would publicly condemn antisemitism and then be antisemitic in a manner he could treat as just "anti nationalism not antisemitism"). first of all jewishness/antisemitism is already so complex which means it's really easy for people (jews and non-jews) to misunderstand it and harm us. so when i saw people quickly latching on to binaries such as the oppressed/oppressor and good/bad and removing all nuance, i knew things were gonna go downhill. yes all forms of hatred are very complex but in my opinion even the most basic forms of antisemitism like "jews control the world!" aren't properly grasped by gentiles which strengthens antisemitism since they're so ignorant about us lol. this is particularly dangerous because most people have never met a jew or know much about us and we are only like .2% of the world. what's worse is that they view us through a culturally christian lens as well instead of seeing us for who we really are.

the phrase antisemitism makes you stupid is too real. it feels like a stupidity epidemic has really made itself clear with the rise of antisemitism which opens the door to other hatreds too.

back to soviet antisemitism, i cant really discuss it properly because yk tumblr antisemites are everywhere and i dont want you to get harassed by them but here's some things i wanna bring attention to

taken from this incredible book "The Jews of Eastern Europe, 1772-1881" by Israel Bartal, "The imperial project to enlighten and reeducate the Jews in the spirit of the autocratic Russian state was to be implemented through the establishment of a system of Jewish schools, with instruction in Russian. The actions of the authorities in the days of the affair of ‘‘government- sponsored enlightenment’’ were similar to those taken by colonial regimes that sought to disseminate European culture among the natives in their overseas colonies." of course this didn't work lmao but it was one of their many many many efforts. people don't realise the scorching similarities between native americans and jewish people and it is so frustrating. people don't understand the extent of both of our suffering.

2. In the early 1960s the image of the Jew in the Soviet Union was that of an evil capitalist carrying out illegal capitalist deals which resulted in a high number of death sentences and executions of Jews which was not really out of the norm since death sentences and executions were already "normal" punishments for Jews, it was just a new excuse :/

3. a book i read a long time ago about soviet jewry said: a) jews are more safe in the democractic centre than everywhere else and b) jews in the soviet union were not allowed to assimilate or live a jewish life, nor were they allowed to immigrate even though the soviet union didn't want them there which i found very interesting. i cannot remember the name or author but i will look and let you know later if i find it.

4. the newspapers in the soviet union in their antisemitic propaganda would list the full names of jews along with their home and work addresses, job positions, etc. these newspapers would also illustrate the jew as disrespectful and harmful to "even their own jewish people and synagogues" to show how bad we are lmao.

5. theres so many jewish political movements partly because when everyone is so dedicated to wiping out jewish culture, these political movements form a jewish culture as an attempt to make up for the absence. this may seem simple but it seems like people really don't understand our desperation for survival. moreover soviet union "atheism" mostly attacked jews and really shows how atheism/secularism can be damaging to us as well.

LASTLY. some book recs :)

the jews in poland and russia by antony polonsky, a writer at war by vasily grossman and anything by joseph roth.

sorry for this long rant but im tireddd

hi anon, thank you so much for this information! there really is nothing new under the sun when it comes to antisemitism huh. usually i’m a weenie when it comes to publically answering asks about jewish topics but i think this is too important and interesting to just leave in my ask box so i’m gonna post this one. hopefully some of my followers will take interest in it

and thanks for the book recs!

[tossball-stick]

heyy i saw your latest post about john's aromantic trutherism and i didn't exactly understand what you mean by that... could you explain? i too don't think he is actually in love with abigail if that's what you were saying...?

hiii!!! 1: thank you for asking about this im excited to write and analyze him in this way

2: plsplspls get the idea outta ur head that aromantic people cant love. noooo i couldnt have been misunderstood more. i wanna clarify that i do think john loves abigail. i just dont think that love is all that romantically motivated and ive got a few reasons to believe so.

3: uhhhh uhhh this ended up being like 2.5k words of analysis on john im sorry. no one on tumblr has asked me my thoughts about him before so this is the first time im talking about a lot of the stuff here and theres so much ive thought about johns character and its all messy and intertwined. itll be a little all over the place. i am deeply sorry.

okay. first reason? hes otherwise not much of a romantic. whether he wants to be or not, he falls flat on his face every attempt there is at being romantic with abigail (rarely do we see him be romantic with other women) is usually met with disdain, if there even are many to begin with. its rare to hear john say something pleasant about having a woman, and its rare to ever witness them having a good time together while in the gang. 

...up until the epilogue and john gets his shit together. but by that point i could argue further analysis as to how john isnt wholly himself by that point. hear me out.

john and arthur are two halves of one whole to me. its clear theres some sort of void in john after arthur dies, and he still holds the memory of arthur very very dear. he does his best to keep the memories alive, in fact, in a way to keep arthur alive. 

this starts extending to some kinda interesting parallels, though. writing and drawing in arthurs journal like he did, the hat being placed on johns head, john proposing with marys ring, the phrasing and tone of johns proposal is also shockingly familiar to arthur telling john that itd make him happy if john went to his family... after arthurs death, i find john taking on many of his traits even. he becomes more quiet and closed off, we see it even in rdr2 with arthur telking him to "knock it off with the whole being mysterious thing" or whatever. arthur claims its to act like dutch, but ill do you one better, its clearly just john idolizing his older brother and trying to be like him to be a proper man. this brings me to my next point...

the time period of rdr2!!! yayyy cowboys, the victorian era, Did u know. being a man was something you had to do in previous american and european cultures? this slowly started fading as we roll over into the 20th century, but there was a lot of emphasis placed on performing your role as a man. to be a good man, you must do xyz. otherwise, you are seen as immature, as a boy, as a child. 

throughout the entire series of red dead redemption, both 1 and 2, theres a lot of stuff pointing towards jogns struggle to Be A Man. arthur and dutch frequently refuse to let him grow up, still calling him "little john" and still treating him like hes a rowdy unruly boy that needs to learn better, not a man who should know better. hosea is the only man treating john like hes a man, and even then id say hes fairly lax with the guy. only as the story of rdr2 progresses do we see arthur start to shift his view towards john. not as a boy to stay a boy, because the gang isnt gonna be around forever. john cant keep being a boy. he needs to become a man, take care of his family. 

working off a distinctly gentleman influenced view of masculinity, johns inability to be a man is almost directly tied to his inability to be a proper romantic for his wife. compared to arthur, who is seen taken women on dates and flirting with them just to make them laugh at times. hes dancing with the ladies and helping them up and down the coaches, wagons, and horses. john like. just barely remembers to do that for abi in the epilogue. again, his failings to be a true romantic are tied with his failings as a man. 

in rdr1, this even extends to bill having the bit of dialogue, "you always were a scared little boy!" continuing to imply that john is not a man, hes never been a man. the only reason we can read him as a man Now is because we are going by arthurs definition of manhood. we can extend this further and say bill still views john as a boy because john does not live up to bills expectations of manhood- while arthur may view being a man as something chivalrous, more gentlemanly, bill clearly views masculinity as power and violence, without much to do with women. john does not live up to that, to bill, until the end.

if you read "masculinity" as "being romantic and chivalrous towards women", then, as john fails at being a romantic, he too fails at being a man. there are a lot of other ways john is immature and childish but this is a really easy one to point out if you know the time period and just how much emphasis was placed on both romanticism and manliness, and how they intertwined.

third reasoning for aro john: his family wasnt his for so much of his life. this one is another one that needs a bit of elaboration i fear.

the story of john and abigail getting together is simple enough. she joined the gang at 17 as a sex worker, slept around with some of the gang, then for one reason or another, very clearly believed that the pregnancy was johns. john runs away for a year.

in this time, we dont know a whole lot about what gang life was like without john. however, with arthurs comments about marrying abigail himself and loving her, and his close relationship with jack, i think its pretty clear arthur was the one being a man in johns place. when john left, there was a john shaped hole arthur had to fill. (i also like to think this because the potential misery of arthur having to lose his family a second time once john returns is fun to me.)

even in the story of rdr2, we see john Love and Care For his family, but its never in the same, romantic way arthur seems to involve himself in abi and jacks lives. john will defend them with his life, but when it actually comes to pulling himself up by his bootstraps and being a father or a husband, he kinda just drags his feet and gets lost. he has to be told to reunite with his family at jacks party, despite, in my eyes, his love for jack being very clearly displayed while they were looking for him. 

this is only bolstered by the conclusion of rdr2, with john and arthur on the mountain. arthur, in all his holy parallels, like jesus passing the virgin mary off to john the beloved, arthur tells john it would make him very happy if [john] went to be with his family and left. arthur is passing his family off onto john, the same as jesus passed his family onto saint john. (this one hits harder if you know the rest of the "arthur is jesus" parallels and symbolism but i feel like those would be more impactful as a web weave, and i cant make one right now haha. most obvious one i can think of to support this though is arthur being a scapegoat, dying for the gangs sins.) remember these points they are the most important and will come back later.

reason number four: "but javier-!" shhhhshshsh lemme talk. yes. john is infinitely more intimate with javier than abigail. however, again, we must take the time period into account.

not that far off from many disgusting redpill communities today, back in the 1800s it was typically expected for men to socialize with men and women with women. there was a certain level of bonding you only had with your wife, as well as a certain level of bonding you only had with the men who were close to you. 

i have got to grab this fandom by the shoulders and say rockstar did not make these men as affectionate as they should have been with each other, and thats completely platonically. this is taking romance out of the equation, these men considered each other brothers and family. they were all in a cult together. they would have been very close, and also very affectionate! they would confide in each other and hold each other and cry to each other. they would make gifts for each other and sing and dance together. you can at least see them all pass around beer bottles between each other.

do i think john and javier are closer than most? yes absolutely. do i think javier is in love with john in some way? yes absolutely. do i think its romantic? ehhh maybe. do i think john loves javier? yes absolutely. do i think its romantic? ....noo not really. their whole dynamic reads as one sided through and through to me. even if they ever got together im sure they were quickly apart again, and i doubt the relationship would have been fulfilling in the ways javier would want, leaving him longing still.

the "ive always loved you, even now" immediately funneling into a crate being shoved onto john to knock him over can also be metaphorical- javiers love is disarming to john Because he does not know how to react to it. hes never known how to react to it. hes never known how to react to love from anyone, because "love" seems to feel so much different for everyone but him.

reason ff. fiiiiive. dear god. im sorry for this being this long: john loves. he clearly loves very hard. he was clearly wrecked by arthurs death, he would clearly crawl through hell for his family, he was clearly hurt because his love for javier eventually stabbed him in the back. however, to me, a lot of this love feels similar to the love john has for dutch, or arthur, really. its familial, its platonic, it sure as hell isnt romantic. (even if the games themselves like to joke about it being so lol.)

its just clear to me that he loves. he cant not love jack and abi after everything hes done for them. he cant not love javier after being so close for so long. but in the same vein, he cant not love dutch for the same reasons. ysee what i mean? his devotion to his wife and child feels identical to the devotion to dutch, compared to arthur, whos devotion to eliza and isaac directly went against his devotion to dutch.

much like with dutch, where john was still seen as a boy, he will ferociously do the big things for his family (saving jack, defending the ranch, tackling gangsters and robbers). he will almost always fail to do the little things that would make him a true man, though. yknow. winding down, relaxing, just working, not getting involved in fights. spending some time with his family maybe. 

he can shape up and be good, he just never does. 

and i think thats why hes so torn between leaving on his own, leaving with his family, or staying with the gang. theres no difference between romantic, platonic, or familial love for him. when arthur tells him to go be with his family and john replies "youre my brother" its not only announcing arthur as family, but i think it only reinforces that blurred line of what love is for john. "i love you the same as them, why must i leave you behind? if they are family and i love them, then you too must be family, for i love you."

point six: i hope you remembered the first few points like i told you to. you did remember right

this brings us back around to john not being a man by not being a romantic, arthurs family being passed off to him, and also john not wholly being himself later on. in the epilogue, between 1899 and 1908, we hear about how john has been unable to avoid trouble and has them on the run still. whenever abigail asks something of him, he instead goes and does what he wants. its only after she leaves him (ultimate failure of being a man) do we see him start to shape himself up again, and i would argue this shaping up increases substantially after he reunites with charles. charles sets him on the right path and reawakens that memory of arthur. i imagine being close to blackwater also helps here. id argue due to charles' apparent closeness with arthur, and then sudden closeness to john due to john being all thats left of arthur... it makes john also feel like hes all thats left of arthur. i believe after speaking with charles and thinking to himself, he decides to fulfill the one dream arthur had, seemingly, at the end: take care of the family he had lost. well, eliza and isaac are six feet in the dirt so next best option: abi and jack. 

john starts to become quieter and more in his own shell- by rdr1 hes struggling to even really ask people for help with the most basic things. he becomes a lot more of a romantic speaker. he had always used fancy words with the gang, but never with charismatic purpose in the way i feel he does in rdr1. he starts making the decisions he thinks arthur would make. as a result, the hole that arthur left behind when he died, does not get filled by john. instead it simply gets filled with whatever arthur john can muster from within himself.

id also like to bring up john being the favorite, but not the golden boy. he was the youngest and most spoiled, but he was not the one dutch turned to for just about everything. he was still living in arthurs shadow, so i imagine all of that also plays a role in johns choice to live like arthur to get his family back, to be a man. he failed at being a man by his own merits. arthur was a real man by his own merits, lets just do what we've always done and look up to our older brother about it. copy what he does. clearly hes got it all figured out, even though you know he didnt, after reading the journal. 

this all is finally bolstered by john making the choice to kill micah and repeat the VDL cycle of violence, which ruins the perfect life he made for himself. he makes another decision HE, not arthur, HE would make, and thus has to deal with the consequences. 

in conclusion: i think john loves a lot and very hard. hes passionate about these people. but in his own words towards javier that start to become readable as projection, "hes a cynic that wants to be a romantic" and "hes all passion, no love ('no love' being how he perceives it, due to the views of those around him. he loves abigail and jack, he loved arthur, though because his version of love was different than theirs, its not read as love. therefore, he has none in his own eyes)." 

all of this coupled with a detached attachment style that leaves him cold and distant leaves him being tugged along in romances he truthfully does not feel the same about. he says he does, because he loves, but he doesnt know why the love isnt the same. so, clearly, since he loves, he must want the romance. he has to perform it for love regardless of if he truly does want romance or not. if he loves, he must be a romantic, and hes failing at being a romantic, so he cant be himself. he must be someone else in order to convey his love to his family.

i hope i got everything across alright ^-^ feel free to ask questions or send more asks ive got plenty more where that came from

[folkdances]

wow tried to send an ask and accidentally unfollowed whoops. anyways where did your love of hole-theory and house-theory come from? im always enraptured by ur reblogs w those tags

💔💔💔💔💔 sorry i can’t answer your ask right now because portal unfollowed me…

good question actually! i’m writing a video essay about some aspects of “house theory” right now and i try to briefly interrogate that interest … i think that my interest developing to the level it’s at right now was a natural conclusion to my media diet developing as i grew older. i used to be really scared of scary movies as a child, but as i grew i started shedding those apprehensions and started pursuing more horror books and movies and podcasts like the magnus archives and the conjuring and other genre staples at first, before developing a taste for the genre. running parallel to that, i also just plain got smarter and developed an interest in literary analysis et voilà!

so i guess that answers the how question and as for why, well, i just think it is so interesting to interrogate the nature of the buildings we spend so much time in and have so many emotions tangled up with - for many of us, housing is something we take for granted and they pose as such intimate reflections of our inner selves. theoretically they should be nothing but virtuous, but as is natural they morph and contort according to the nature or absence of the inhabitants.

the modern haunted house as we know it actually arises from a very interesting place that mirrors this literary understanding - when americans first began building homes, they were desperate to emulate european society and constructed large and elaborate houses of the style you might see in the richer streets of england, but after the first world war, many rich families turned towards more modern architecture, and, therefore, modern lifestyles; and those older houses were left abandoned. their former inhabitants viewed them as testaments to a time bygone, monuments to the dated and crushed dreams of their forefathers, and to everyone else, they simply became dilapidated, rotting, scary eyesores. after all, there is something distinctly anxiety-inducing about seeing a place that ought be full of life left empty and dead. and as that relation grew stronger, our understanding of houses as being haunted grew - and now we are able to use the haunted house as a vehicle for struggles as broad as class, or gender, or family structures. isn’t that so interesting? that’s a very bare-bones history and very basic examples of what the haunted house serves to represent in fiction, but i love seeing where we can take this idea of representative houses!

hole theory is less of a passion of mine because it’s, to me at least, less specific, but i love to employ it as a sort of magnifying glass. absence and lack, too, serve as very unique indicators of different things in fiction - some of my favourite examples include the chalk outlines of the fallen duelists in revolutionary girl utena’s black rose arc and the ‘abyss’ theory applied to the bong joon-ho’s filmography - for example, the tunnel in memories of murder and what it uniquely represents in that narrative.

this kind of got away from me but i love when common things are explore to such an extent in fiction, i love picking at it! and i am glad you are having fun picking at it with me!

[lambotel]

I remember people were giving you shit for saying not to vote for Kamala. And now they're telling everyone too not to vote for Kamala ��.

yeah that shit was crazy and i deleted the post because i thought i was going to get called out or cancelled 🗿. i said what i said and still mean it although i do understand what others were saying, i appreciate that they explained it politely too. but telling me that just bc im not american i cant have an opinion on american politics is so weird, bc if my opinion was good then it WOULD matter to you? lmao, thats so odd. anyway. she's a zionist racist homophobic transphobic whore; i will never understand why y'all fought to the sunset and back with me. i will never understand why it was wrong of me (all bc im not american) to say dont vote for her, why it was wrong for me to have an opinion on another country while the president youre voting for IS LITERALLY INVOVLED IN MASS KILLINGS OF AKMOST ALL MIDDLE EASTERN COUNTRIES. please make it make sense oh my god??. glad i can let out my frustration. i knew i was fucking right with my opinion but im glad others agree and see what i mean too. i think the sad part is that, both trump and kamala are fucking terrible people but one of them are definitely going to be president - all the promises they told y'all are just lies (every politician ever), and theyre only making your country fall. saying that you want to vote for someone who is doing good for your country is contradicting and stupid if you think about it because no politician or oresident has genuinely done something good for america that has lasted or been abided to, every politician has their ass in the middle east they do not give a flying fuck about their own people. i get y'all don't want to vote zionists but you want to consider kamala harris because she "has some good opinions" but please do your research. it is free to educate yourselves on these matters, THAT is your privilege. and don't get me started on trump, trump is a terrible piece of shit who shouldn't even be in this field of work let alone run for presidency. all these things he's wanting to start abd give out is fucking weird and disgusting and end of the world type of shit y'all need to be fucking careful. can't rlly tell someone what to do or who to vote but you can educate them and whatnot. this is all just my opinion on it and i dont want to hear no "europeans should stop giving their opinions on our politics" type of bullshit as if america isn't involved in EVERY COUNTRY but THEIR OWN. and just because our opinion is something you don't want to here, doesn't mean it isn't valid. im sure theres a lot i haven't said that are important to mention but i have wrote too much here and rn lol,, everyone's got their own thoughts and own perspectives but this is mine. america was never great and it will never be great. im going to shut up now.

[lee-hakhyun]

Hiii i will answer in an ask since using tags would be quite cumbersome.

I want to firstly say that im sorry for assuming your identity. I shouldn't have done that. I'm a little bit sensitive when it comes to this matter since i saw a lot of....pretty mean stuff that people said about otherkinity since i entered the community even when it wasn't necessary bad intentioned, so that why's i immediately jumped to the assuming that you were the same. That's the reason, but not a excuse so I'm sorry. I didn't meant to hurt you or anything like that.

Also, i def wont block you or any mutual over this, especially when yall are very respectful and understanding and especially when in this case it's just more a matter of view towards a recognized issue (man why does this sound so formal.....i hate english). And i hope you didn't took my tags as an attack or anything of sorts, i just wanted to raise an issue that worries me a lot, especially when the majority doesn't even know what otherkinity is or when they do, they mostly brush off/ignore it.

Also, before knowing what otherkin was or the kff movement, i used the term kinning in that way too (especially when it came to kdj). Even nowadays, when i try to regulate my usage of the word "kin", i still think to myself "man im too much of a kdj kinnie blergh" because it's too integrated in my brain from all the jokes/memes. So like. I think it would hypocritical to not clarify that. + you tags were far from incoherent, quite the opposite! I think my tags was messier lol

Thing is i do agree somewhat with your views/opnion and i do agree that 90% of the people use it as way to express their love or understanding or empathy with a character and i think that's amazing. But i also, it doesn't erase the fact that it do help erase and block the voices from community and does nothing to raise awareness, and still perpetuate the harm done to the otherkinity. Especially! Towards fictionkin. Although I'm not fictionkin and i dont speak over their issues, from what i seen in some posts the fact that "kinning" became so popular esp in the context of "kinning" a fictional character, it make it harder to talk about their experiences and only intensify the pre-judgment and steorytyping.

Just because "kinnig" is popular now, it doesn't mean that it has/will be that way forever. Over the years, there were many harmful words that were popular in usage but were dropped off and substituted by other non-harmful words later on and "kinning" can be one of those too. I like to discuss the understanding or empathy one have towards characters and i like how this type of discussion became more popular due to "kinning" and precisely because of that, that i find important for us (as in, people on the internet) to popularize alternative terms, akin to how "generative media" is becoming more used than "AI" in some spaces.

It's true that there is no other popular term, and that precisely why it's even more necessary to use alt terms to describe this understanding one have towards a character.

But like you said, its more a matter of opnion/views more than anything. But again, i think it would be at least the minimum if people outside of the community raised more awareness and gave more voice to otherkin ppl, which i dont see happening. I just came to know what otherkinity is because i remembered the term "voidpunk" from the aro community and when i went to search it on tumblr i saw it being tagged in otherkin posts, rather than a directly seeing the term in a post from the dash or anything like that.

So if people outside of the community use kinning, then at least i hope they also care about the community itself and our opinions, experiences and issues. I hope one day, otherkinity would be more known and accepted rather than remain with the popular knowledge of "identity made up by cringe mentally ill tumblr teenagers, who are northern american/european" (at least for me, as an Brazilian, the last part is really depressing) (I hate being seen as USAian or european. Like. Ewww)

I kinda fear that all this discussion about otherkin language and kff will just be brushed as "silly tumblr discourse made by chronically online ppl" rather than something serious to think and talk about, especially in outside circles. so like. Im sorry if im getting too emotional or anything about that, in this aspect, its less about you or my mutuals as individuals and more about "many, many, many people and society in general are pretty ableist, mean and ignorant when it comes to subcultures like this and i want to more people understand that and try to find an alternative way to describe a pretty positive and funny experience without harming other people".

I guess that as long as it harms people, even in indirect ways, i will still be uncomfortable with the term kinning and i dont think i would be ever or so soon be comfortable in using it the way i used before, but that's on me. At the end of the day, people are free to do what they want, and i respect that freedom, especially when they're understanding/respectful/well-intentionated.

And thats it. Sorry for the long ask ajsbsisjsisj also i struggle with tone so sorry if i seemed too rude or too formal (?). English also doesn't helps lol

oh it's okay i mostly keep this blog to fandom/games i get why you would assume things, especially about this! i don't mind other people having differing opinions/feelings, just that i personally don't mind kinnies (as long as they're respectful ofc) + indulge in the kinnie stuff myself. and you're completely in the right to be uncomfortable with it yourself, i wasn't looking to change your opinion but just express mine ^^ i get that it's a touchy topic for a lot of otherkin, i felt that i had to bring up the otherkin/kinnie distinction in that ask because ignoring to just reply with the kinnie definition would leave people ignorant. better to educate people to the best of my ability than to leave people in the dark.

if i start seeing a big push for new language i'd totally be on board to swap to it.. but unfortunately a lot of the alternatives i see are just never used compared to kinnie/kinning. i believe what's most likely to happen to replace kinnie is not a term created specifically to replace it, but a popular new word that just happens to have the same meaning. maybe some good might finally come from tiktok's easy virality🤷

[necrocrunk]

thats it i AM going to post this draft:

can i be honest. the “americans dont give a shit about (insert whatever thing) until it affects them” is so stupid and specifically treats americans like we just dont have any problems and also hate everyone else. the individualistic vocal minority who are fucking batshit are disliked by Most People. they just are so aggressively disliked that algorithms prioritize showing their content for clicks and views. like,. you realize we also have problems

the wildfires are happening and people are worried about their lung health esp in a country where covid was genuinely not handled well and left people with lasting lung issues. the fact is we literally DO NOT KNOW these things are happening in most cases! but this is one that directly affects us so of course we’re speaking about it! why are you acting like it’s genuinely a move of weird nationalism that we “didnt care about the wildfires till now”??

additionally, the way that non-americans joke about america in making fun of things that americans have no grasp, bearing, or ability to change is so fucking infuriating. do you think we all like the lack of gun control? that protesting isn’t genuinely a risk of your life, being charged with a felony or considered a terrorist (and having a felony means you cant vote AND some jobs can deny you employment, meaning you cant support yourself or family or make any meaningful votes against the people who put those laws in place). the creators of the BLM movement were all found dead by things like fires in their cars and ruled suicides. you dont think it’s real odd that that shit happens and nothing is done? protesting is something people ARE doing right now and are brave enough to do, but even in the last few months protesters have been killed. it is necessary to protest but it has very very real danger behind it. its not a silly thing we do

americans do have a habit of being american based, and thats understandable! because its almost like the media in every country is focused on their country and what is happening within it. our country is huge, bigger than so so many, and there is a Lot going on. a lot to keep up with. additionally, just because you didn’t see some fucking guilt trippy post about it on tumblr or twitter yet does NOT mean people arent talking about it. trying going outside.

additionally, the way that people SPECIFICALLY seem to rag on things from the south and tear down the south, when the south has an incredibly high population of minorities that define anything from culture to the food common here? remember that british mf making of exclusively southern foods? that the shit im talking about. it’s this weird... xenophobia that especially europeans seem to level at americans as if we are too stupid and fat to function.

i understand that america sucks and america is terrible to other countries and i fully support tearing down the war crimes,etc america has committed for ex and overall complaining about your experience w americans. but throwing punches at the american people who literally have NO CHOICE but to just BE here (its VERY EXPENSIVE to emigrate !) is literally punching down. none of us like living in the middle of late stage capitalism man. it sucks. what do you win for making fun of us.

[magnoliamyrrh]

sometimes i have a hard time figuring out why i hold such particular dislike for modern western culture. its not necessarily that theres bad things about it, bc theres bad things about every culture. and usually im very aware of that, and find the beautiful part of things anyway

but. idk. it makes no sense right, anthropologically, to say that "this isnt even a culture" because it is but it damn near doesnt even feel like one

traditional western cultures are different, much of the european ruralside is beautiful and so are many cities too. but. god especially something about american in particular i think.... and even that, rural people and like southerners have a warm culture and i guess new york is cool so i can kinda see the appeal

but. in general?? wheres the........ wheres the beauty of all of it. why does everything look the same, everywhere, like its been copy and pasted. why does everyone and everything feel so empty. soulless. cold. fake. plastic. why is nothing sacred. why is it that ive been here more than a decade and i still cant really understand and grasp these people - despite understanding any immigrant from anywhere in the world exponentially better. why does it leave me feeling just.... so, so cold and dissatisfied

[ierotits]

if u don't mind answering (just ignore if you feel weird about talking about where you live and stuff online) but I noticed you talking on that walkable cities post about living in a village that's well served by the train network and I've noticed you mentioning things off hand in the tags of a few other posts talking about American approaches to stuff vs everywhere else and it's got me interested as someone who's always lived in Europe but has quite a lot of family in Aotearoa, if I understand right you're living in rural France rn? Are you originally from South Island?

I'm always interested when I travel to see how American influences are slightly different in different places and never quite how you imagine before you go. Does Europe seem pretty americanised to you? I know the first time I travelled to Auckland I was really surprised by the approach to cars ect reminding me way more of past trips to America than my childhood in various semi rural places in Europe. Mainly that cars are a lot bigger and trucks and offroaders are more of a thing than i was used to at home and even tho a lot of cars were Japanese, the design seemed really American to me.

Anyway I guess I'm interested in differences in general rather than just city planning/transport. I guess I've just found it interested seeing that cultural leak from America in different ways than I'm used to?? The impact of American culture on Europe was really clear growing up so I think before I got old enough to travel I'd just expected it to be the same everywhere but it really isn't!! It has always felt to me that Australia has a lot more of that American influence in like business spheres?? Politically it certainly seems more American than other countries nearby. Whereas as a whole a lot of European countries seem influenced in different ways (which makes sense considering close distance between countries and the eu and all) But yeah fascinated to hear if you have any opinions on the like having (I'm guessing here?? possibly travelled to Europe as an adult after growing up in Aotearoa???? which is kinda the opposite of my experience)

okay finally going to try answer this bear with. its a good ask!!! putting this below the cut because it could get long

for context on my response, gotta do an overview of my living situation! i am currently living in a medium sort of sized city in france, around 150k population? but i work in a tiny village a 20 minute drive out of town, which is serviced by the train system. from what i can tell, most little villages like that have a small train station that a TER goes through quite regularly, so when there isnt strikes its easy to get to and from the closest city, which is then connected to everywhere else

in aotearoa i live in a city about double the size of the one im in now (wont say which one but im sure it isnt too hard to work out) grew up in a small town, but lived in the city for my later childhood, teen years, and uni so most of my life experiences were there, only came to france last year

in terms of transport, aotearoa is definitely more americanised than europe, as far as i can tell as someone who has not been to america, just spoken a lot on this topic with american friends.

in france, everything is so easily accessable by train. every town and city has a train station, the rail speed means nothing is more than about 5 hours away (my experience anyway). the trains run enough times a day that theres always something (except for the strikes atm but thats a different circumstance.) in bigger cities, there is always a fast, regular, seemingly reliable tram or metro system that gets you anywhere, while smaller cities like mine have a bus system that works, but i never use because nothing is any more than half an hours walk away. i have barely been in a car since getting here, because it really just isnt necessary, the whole system is designed to not rely on cars

for aotearoa, its basically impossible to travel between cities or towns without a car. there are intercity buses, but even between my city and the next closest one, which i know MANY people who make that trip regularly, the intercity bus goes once a day if youre lucky. theres very few passenger trains, and most of them are expensive tourist ones made for sightseeing. basically to get anywhere outside of your city, your options are very expensive slow not regular bus, or get someone to drive you. in my city, theres a bus system that is pretty widespread, you can get everywhere but its expensive, not reliable, and the buses dont go very often except on the very busy routes. if i walked half an hour in my city, i would cross maybe 5% of the city, it was a 40 minute walk to school in high school while it was a 5 minute drive. it got to a point when i was 20 that it was too expensive, took too much time, etc to catch the buses everywhere, that i ended up having to buy a car. the cities, from my experience, are becoming more and more car reliant as the years go on, and all the city does is add lanes to roads

in terms of everything else, i feel like france and aotearoa are both americanised in different ways? politically, france seems to have been quicker at pushing towards this governmental system where your options are far right or center pretending to be left while pushing the country right. france also has similar issues with the militarization of the police force, over investment in the military, gun violence, etc. it doesnt seem as bad as america to me, but then i potentially dont have the full story. while aotearoa has many issues with the police, and an increase in racial bias and violent responses, most of the more extreme american issues dont seem to have developped as quickly. i truly think a lot of that comes down to the labour government the last few years and the changes to gun laws post christchurch attacks. there are, of course, small groups in aotearoa that are leaning towards american ways of thinking, specifically thinking of brian tamaki and his evangelical cult that is directly copying from the american mega church, and the antivax shit that happened the last couple of years

its difficult to really tell to be honest. i feel like in aotearoa, especially with the rise of the internet and online connection to other countries, it has become a lot easier for our population to start to fall into american ways of thinking. i mean, specifically with elections i regularly have to explain to people my age that voting for the green party isnt a throw away vote here like it is in america, the way our voting system works is that you can vote for whichever party truly represents your interest. i genuinely think thats one of the things thats kept us from being pushed further right, the prevalence and strength of the green and māori parties. the revitalisation of māori language and culture has certainly helped too, that we have so many allies helping keep us in the forefront of our country and its politics, we cant just be swept under the rug and ignored. im proud of the way that we have managed to stave off the total disappearance of our culture and instead turn it around to become one of the most visible parts of the country

tldr, i really think both countries have and havent been americanised in different ways. i know less about france as ive only been here a few months, but i do think aotearoa is so far doing what we can to actively work against america's more negative elements being incorporated into out country. just wish we would do that with transport too

[anachrosims]

ime the frustrating part, as a usamerican--is while I absolutely agree with all this, I do feel the need to point out:

it's not just the shitty (and wildly varying from place to place) state of education in the US, it's also a culture of anti-intellectualism and both are causing a shitty feedback loop making the other worse.

dogpiling americans gets really g-damn old. and I'm not even one of the usamericans that gets dogpiled. imo, we should be having discussions about taking personal responsibility for educating ourselves once we're grown-ass adults*, but that also means...

intellectual groups need to stop fucking gatekeeping. as an amateur historian who's found her niche/special interest, I still remember what it feels like to be wholly overwhelmed when learning new topics. it can be frustrating af to watch someone be an ignorant, cringe weirdo about your specialization (example: hamilton musical fans vs pre-existing amrev and federal era historians) -- but nothing sucks more than being excited about a thing and getting nonstop condescended to.** instead of being a dick, just... recommend good sources, free sources, accurate sources.***

#2 also means you need to understand you're not just asking people to ~look up geography~. even if they did, they wouldn't retain it because why the fuck should they without appropriate context? like it or not, people need a reason to give a fuck about places outside their local town/city, and that's where cultural exchange comes in. but learning, absorbing things like that takes time and energy, and while it is HIGHLY worthwhile to do if not an outright ethical imperative, you're also condescending to a group of people who are on average working their asses off just to stay off the streets.

*- kids with internet ought to learn this too, but I also think it's unfair of anyone to lay the burden of making up for systemic rot on the shoulders of kids.

**- yes, people need to be able to handle critique and being wrong. no, I'm talking about the petty socio-political bullshit that happens in special interest groups online. (example: someone loves "victorian" fashion. but it turns out they actually really like gothic lolita, but then they decide they want to learn more about western european clothes in the 19th century during Victoria's reign. and then they get a ton of snide and passive aggressive remarks ("that's from the 1860s lmaooo......" "lol that dress is so ugly it's not even the right decade" "lmao. they didn't wear that in germany." "that dress makes her look like a peasant LMAO") --and then they get put off the historical fashion community because some people just can't shut the fuck up, learn "yes, and..." and chill.

***- y'all realize that proper researching skills and media literacy are globally critically low, right??? are y'all reblogging free and reputable posts that contain lists of accurate and free non-fictional material (hopefully multilingual, I love those posts) while going "USAMERICANS R DUMB LOL!"? because if you're not helping the global problem of defunding to education and a decades' long resurgeence of authoritarianism due to anti-intellectual backlash against progressive movements, then I don't want to hear this kind of bitching. (thank you to the people who posted those links above; my remark is not about you.)

i think that, if youre usamerican and any time someone calls out your lack of knowledge on global geography you start talking about how bad the usa education is and how its actually not your fault that you dont know what continent nigeria is on because you cant look at the google maps bc donald trump will personally shoot you, youre very annoying

[r18te]

why is american romance so shit

literally where is the american heart ripping romance stuff? even australia does better than america. obviously european stuff is probably the best, and then maybe followed in close second by japanese.

OK what about not even the absolutely soul crushing romance, but any good romance at all? theres only boring dialogue, boring character dynamics, and a ton of witty stuff that makes the ending the least satisfying thing in existence? america really sucks.

but ya theres this show that im still pretty obsessed about called Barracuda (its a short Australian tv series) based off of the not very well written book by Christos Tsiolkas. although the budget was clearly very small, the few scenes that we have of the romance between Danny and Martin are all so heart wrenching!!!!! I can't be tweaking on this. it gets to me every single damn time i watch it.

but anyways the whole show isnt based around the romance. its got a really touching message about being in competitive sports too. there are too many success stories making it big out there (understandably). BUT, its important to never forget that there are thousands of others with the same big aspirations who make it in varying degrees of closeness to their goal. and this story is about Danny; Danny who has all the talent; Danny who puts in blood sweat and tears; Danny who makes the big sacrifices.

and sometimes, ya just gotta remember that its not your fault you fell just a little short.

[eyesmadeofpearls]

i'm getting more increasingly upset with the people who claim that anyone (even poc/people generally not even british, irish, scottish, etc) can practice celtic religions, indulge in the culture, and wear the clothes. they do it for the "aesthetic" and they cherry pick the things they like, like foods and clothing. not only this, but half of them don't learn the languages or know the history at all.

it's really simple to understand, if you can respect native americans when they tell you not to wear certain things or do certain things if you don't know the true meaning then why do you constantly disrespect native celts when they say no? i've seen people say because we're white it doesn't matter and i find that funny. culture isn't exclusively a poc thing, culture is music, food, practices, religion, language, clothing, and so much more. you need to respect all races and all ethnicities. and you can't use "well my ancestors were enslaved-". okay well please tell me how i am responsible for that? how every white person born, is responsible for that? "youre privelege!-" you mean the privelege that nobody has? true privelege is money, if you have it you can pay yourself out of jail even if you've actually killed someone. in america, people get paid depending on their jobs and its literally illegal to descriminate against any race in the work place. if you work at somewhere with low pay, that has nothing to do with a white person because theres a 99% chance other white people work there too. either way, two wrongs dont make a right especially when the white people you target dont even have history with slave masters.

so, on to the originaly topic, just.. stop. stop stealing things that dont belong to you. and for gods sake, dont try to make it okay by saying "the british museum" because thats the government, not the people. didn't we learn about this already? do you know how it feels for your government to go to wars with people even if you disagree on that? you learn the hard way you can't convince them what they're doing is bad because theyre so brainwashed. you can fight it, but you can't make a real impact unless you're willing to be called terrorist. off topic, but a side note to europeans who are reading this: don't say "but you voted those people in!" because my answer will only be to you; you don't know how voting works. you can't just choose who's going to be the candidates, your best bet is to just find someone who's slightly less worse than the other but you can't be certain they're going to be the best of the best. obviously there's a need for a reform because of this but doing that would cause many people to die and literally nobody could ever be ready for that even if we know it's what has to be done. do you know how much damage riot police would cause? undercover cops? the fbi? a lot. so yeah, just respect native celts. and ps, no, a poc can't be a native celt. thats not how that works and us original native celts have never been black. if you're white with mixed ancestry like italian, spanish, german, or any nord you're an exception because during the invasion and colonization of old britannica the anglos and saxons, norwegian & swedish vikings, and romans invaded. spain is only an exception because of galicia and only if you're from that area.

Here's proof im celtic, by the way. (wouldn’t think i’d need it 💔 im white as hail) but this is after i downloaded my complete raw data from 23 & me and placed it into my true ancestry for results 🙏

[bubbleonice]

lol this is so cute and funny at the same time that once san and jungkook are requested once on someones blog the blog gets so many more asks about the same two mainly popular members. I wonder if in their respective groups the conflict can often be about whos getting more opportunies than other members. I guess each members have their own reactions and feelings, also may you do reading on mingi? mainly just an energy check up or something of the sorts, thanks v much!

lastly do you think kpop is as bad / evil as west ent industry? I tend to find myself reading a lot maybe too much into things and then I look at how young these idols start off then they go off to america :c do you think some of the things said abt illuminati, cult or even escorting is accurate info? or is it just smoke and mirrors to get people talking about it regardless, others have said no when I ask this question before but like theres still so many similiarities between kpop and other music industries so no doubt theyre still in a heavily controlled / watched environment.

Mainly concerned because I dont want another sotuation like sulli or jonghyun or another moonbin and even then people still speculate and make theories abt so the internert seems a bit insensitive bc we dont know the half of what really go on. But yh when groups go to america i do worry a bit for them, mainly just bc theyre so young and a bit naive / gullible when they first start out with their groups. I have other suspicions but idk I think they put things relating it to music groups so that people will bith become unhealthily obsessed with idol members but also even those who dont actively follow or support these group still end up discussing them some way or other. im somewhere in between neither deluded nor fussed what idols do in their downtime but yh some videos I seen make me question things whilst others seem to disaprove such theories. So basically will further truths about kpop groups ever come about? and I mean real truth not just some theatre act like hybe x ador.

If you’re asking for my personal opinion, I think in every industry that involves so much money and status and fame, there will always be a dark side. Meaning there is a level of escort/ prositution involved. Abuse. Drugs. Alcohol. Sex addictions. Blackmailing. Money laundry. Criminal acts. A side we normies will never be able to understand.

I see a huge difference between American actors versus British actors for example, where British actors most of the time remain dedicated actors and live for the art, whilst american actors become celebrities, who live for being in the spotlight, paprazzies, so clearly America/ Hollywood do have a culture where I believe you need to be in a certain way to succeed. European actors/ musicians are more scorned from exposure when living in their resepctive countries.

And that goes for the music industry as well. There are a lot of manipulators, a lot of people working in the shadows making money of these artists. These artists who seemingly have it all, money, looks, fame, they are just puppets. The music industry, the record companies own you. Your music, your lyrics, your voice. You don’t own anything. Meaning you need to do certain things, act certian ways, etc… to keep your career intact. That is if you meet the wrong people, or if you’re scooped up by the wrong team. You become their money machine, and you are just a tool for them.

Kpop stars can have their challenges as well not just being in America, but also in their respective countries. Where culture can play a part. Strict rules dues to practices, rules to whom you can date. Lots of the asian music and film industry are ruled by the Mafias. I dare to say, fame might seem fun and great, but you also sacrifice a lot. You are most likely not free to do what you want no matter you’re in Korea or the States. But of course there are different levels of what you become involved into. You need to be extremely smart to not be dragged into unfortunate circumstances. I guess those who are able to keep their feet on the ground and not get too aroused by fame and be blinded by materialistic things are most probably to stay in touch with themselves. While those who are tempted by money, exposure and always be the spotlight will more likely have struggles one way or the other sooner or later.

But this is only an opinion.

[beatbawksradio]

vent about being irish diaspora

here i go venting in public again but Man.

there is something very strange about being an irish person born in america, and being subject to this weird "unbelonging" from both sides of life. like... my family came here as a direct result of the great potato famine, and most of them lived up north in canada and such, but my parents moved down south just before having kids. so i was brought up into the world essentially believing all white people are the Same and that i was just as responsible for the horrific historical atrocities as the rest of the white southerners were.

but. but I'm not. my family had nothing to do with that. my family was still in Ireland during all that. we only came here less than 200 years ago, as a result of the same people who colonized this country having subject us to a horrifying genocide that wiped out millions of my people, and ended up nearly bringing our language and culture to extinction. we are just as much victims of colonization and oppression as every other victim of the colonistic white people.

and that's really hard to wrap your head around when you're born southern...

but, the fact of the matter is. im not actually "american." im ethnically European. im Irish. and i dont feel like i belong here, on this soil, with this people, speaking this language. its this existential dread i battle with every day that i wake up and look at the world around me. a world that my oppressors built. a world that ive been assimilated into, bc no one ever bothered to correct me or let me know what my heritage actually meant.

and its strange. bc on one end, i have americans who look at me like I'm a freak and a weirdo for wanting to move to Europe, wanting to learn a second language, wanting to embrace my cultural paganism- why go through so much effort when i could just stay here and survive? but they're all so ignorant, they're unaware of how shit this country is and how shit the situation is for someone like me, given my family's history. as ""free"" as people like to sing the praises about this country, there is nothing "free" about our judgmental society that constantly battles to stifle those who don't want to conform.

but, on the other hand, its also difficult and anxiety-inducing to be accepted by Europeans, too. i often feel like im trapped in a destiny that i didn't have a choice in, bc i was born american and disconnected from the motherland. i want to learn another language, i want to speak like a european person, i wish i had a cool accent from a language that isn't my colonizers language... but trying to actually do that in front of others feels so scary. so humiliating. like I'm pretending to be something i could never be. like ill never be good enough to be european bc i wasnt born there.

doesn't help that I've had a european person say that to me, as well. telling me that ill never be able to understand or belong with Europeans bc im simply not one. my circumstances are too different and there's nothing i can do to change that.

but how nonsensical is that, how absolutely insane is that, when im ethnically a european person myself? europe is literally WHERE i belong, its where im supposed to be, and you're telling me that im just supposed to stay here, stuck in this land my colonizers stole, speaking my colonizers' language? you're telling me that my disdain for the english language is somehow "racist"... when I'm fucking irish?? are you out of your goddamn mind?

im so lucky, and so thankful to be rid of those people, and to be with the wonderful, aupportive, loving, and most of all intelligent european partner I've had the honor of being able to fall in love with. they've been helping me undo all these misconceptions about life and helping validate and support my journey into leaving this country. they're helping me learn their language, being so patient and so understanding and listening to every little weird thing i have to say about what I've discovered about my history. its so refreshing to finally have the support I've desperately needed for so long, and to be able to feel empowered that i really can make a difference in my life, i really can pursue and fulfill my dream of returning to where i belong, and leaving behind this oppressive, deceiving world I've found myself in

because i deserve to be where i belong. i deserve to feel like i belong. and i belong in europe