#is the one who did my effort test back in june

[natandacat]

Hospital appointment went well, lasted 2 hours and ended up having 3 different doctors in the room pitching in lol

Glad yall are having fun!

[psychic-refugee]

I don’t want to claim that Wenclair as a ship doesn’t exist. Again, I’ve always been a big proponent that fandom is a) supposed to be fun and b) it’s up to interpretation and opinion. The latter makes your ship valid because that’s how you feel. Perhaps it doesn’t make your reasons rational or anchored in canon, but again we go back to a) where it’s supposed to be fun.

I don’t have a problem with Wenclair the ship. I have a problem with Wenclairs the people who have a well-documented history of harassment on non-fandom sites such as Instagram and Twitter of the celebrities in question.

Here are some of the reasons why I don’t specifically see Wenclair/I see a platonic relationship.

Gough and Millar framed Enid and Wednesday as a “sisterhood” and “friendship.” (NME, 24 Dec 2023) This is in DIRECT reaction to being asked about Wenclair. They are the authority of canon as they are the authors of Wednesday and Enid as we know them from this iteration of the Addams Family.

The fact they said its “possible” in the future means Wenclair is not currently true. I also think they were simply being polite and did not want to offend the Wenclairs. Given how badly some react to the possibility of Wenclair not being canon, I don’t blame Gough and Millar for trying to remain neutral about it.

Again, this is Millar and Gough, the true writers and authority of Wednesday.

Secondly, Jenna herself proclaimed no romance. She made an effort in an interview to stress Wednesday had no SO and would have no SO. This is right after joking about Wenclair being a possibility. I believe this is a direct consequence of Wenclairs harassment when they took her words too far and harassed anyone who disagreed with them or threatened the possibility of the ship. (Digital Spy, 8 June 2023)

Emma also wants Wednesday to be single. (Variety, 30 Jan 2023)

There has been no talk, joking or otherwise, of Wenclair being a possibility in almost two years. They in fact seem to be making an effort to not a) talk about it and b) distance themselves from it.

As of this post, none of the cast or writers have done promo for the novel nor have acknowledged it in any way. They also do not follow Meija on socials.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that a) they completely avoid mentioning it anymore in interviews, b) stressing no romance, c) Jenna quit Twitter because of what I suspect a Wenclair sending her AI porn. (Entertainment Weekly, 25 Aug 2024), and d) Jenna won’t ever come out with who she’s dating. (Vanity Fair, 6 August 2024)

I think all of this ties into Wenclair harassment. (Tumblr, 29 August 2024)

Thirdly, one of my litmus tests of whether something could be platonic is if you switch out person A with a known family member of Person B.

This would be pretty gross, right? To have a “fizzy” feeling for your father? Not to mention the addition of kissing full on the mouth in such a way, TWICE. To me this is a clear sexual reaction on Wednesday’s part and could not be construed as platonic.

Here, if Morticia had saved Wednesday and had this moment, it could still work. It wouldn’t be weird, so this scene is not necessarily romantic.

I think pretty much every interaction with Enid could be replaced by Morticia or Pugsly, and it wouldn’t make it as off putting as the Tyler example.

Meija could have at any point described Wednesday’s feelings while in Enid’s presence as “fizzy” or anything remotely romantic and they chose not to.

If they meant for it to be romantic regardless, they don’t have the confidence to stand by their work and say it outright.

So, unless it’s Game of Thrones where sibling/family incest is the norm, then seeing Enid and Wednesday as platonic is a fair interpretation.

[the-mandawhor1an]

6 months later...

TLDR: it's Zaddy's and my RP 'anniversary'; artworks; Wolke being emotional about her Tumblr experience; and a fluffy one shot/drabble at the end of the WAY TOO LONG POST

I've alluded to it before, I've commissioned some artwork of the two lovebirbs and they just so happened to get finished this week. Huge thanks to @kenobiwanx for making the two come alive 😭 I can NOT stop staring at them.

LOOK AT THEM 😭😭😭

Yes these are spoilers for upcoming events but I just 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

@zaddymandalorian Überraschung!

Back to the actual point *wipes tears off her face*

Let's set the scene...

My dearest Zaddy and I reconnected in November of 2023 as I had been on a work trip at that time and I needed someone to talk to. We'd been talking on and off for the last months, mostly smalltalk and sometimes me complaining about stuff. Worth mentioning is also that I sent her my Maia fanfic back in June. First person to read it besides myself. I've known Zaddy since spring of 2016 ish (which also means I've known her longer than my husband – fun fact) so I felt comfortable with her reading my extremely self-indulgent shit. Everyone needs friends like that ♥

We mused about the roleplays we lost to forum admins being ruthless in their inactive-thread-deletion efforts every 4 months. We had barely started a Witcher RP and I'm sure it would've been awesome if we had continued. We literally stopped 7 ish posts in so nothing had happened really. – Why was it inactive? Well I took a 14 month roleplay hiatus due to me being chronically fatigued. The joys of working a stressful job and being severly anemic. Oops.

I tested the waters and made an offhand comment about maybe giving in and asking her to plot something with me.

This is a very convincing re-enactment of what happened: (translated because we're German potaters)

Well... and that's when the fun began

I, being a total Pedro fangirlie, asked if we wanted to just take the synopsis of my fic and run with that. She agreed, I was happy, she was happy.

So it's been 6 months.

OH. MY. GOD.

I did not think I had it in me to be consistently posting daily for 6 months. We've laughed, we've cried, we've lost sleep over it. We've grinned into our phone screens like maniacs at work and luckily no one asked

And now, 260k words later, I'm still in love with the babies. In fact I'd say I love the little blorbs even more now. Maia has a face, she has outfits (multiple!) she has a family and a story (that's only about 1/3 written so whew we might make it to a million)

Of course I also love Zaddy very much (and I will keep lovebombing your ass, bitch 🖤💜)

You know what, fuck it, I'm mentioning more people. Buckle up! Wolke spreads some love!

@immarocketman for being the first person on Tumblr that I kind of clicked with because we share a love for Pedro and the color purple 💜

@roughdaysandart for 1) allowing me insight in her creative process making a Fanfic comic and b) doodling Maia basically as soon as she made an appearance in text form 💜

The moots: @thefrogdalorian @djarins-cyare @djarins-wife @pedroswife69 for interacting with me, commenting on my posts and being real cute in general 💜

Everyone that ever interacted with me on here has been nothing but friendly, I feel extremely welcome over here. Everyone who liked/reblogged or commented on my posts, thank you so much. 💕💕💕💕💕💕

Now that the sappy whining is over, who wants to read something actually interesting?

In spirit of me being overbearingly loving, I've typed up a bit of fluff from the lovesick fools™ of Clan Mudhorn. Unbeta'd.

It was early in the morning, the sun barely over the horizon and engulfing the room in warm orange light, when Din awoke, a soft and warm body nestled into his side. She let out the softest little hum when he buried his face in her hair, wrapping his arms around her to hold her close.

"Sleep," he purred into her hair, placing a kiss on her forehead when her face turned towards him. Again, with a quiet hum, she buried her face in the crook of his neck. "How am I supposed to sleep when my husband has his hands all over me?"

"I'm sorry," he apologized and gently stroked her hair. "Why are you awake anyway?" she asked, finally raising her head so her sleepy, green eyes looked into his. "Hey mesh'la," he greeted her with a smile, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. "I don't know. I guess the sun woke me up, it's too bright in here." He sighed. "I miss the hut on Nevarro, it was always dark in there." "Come on, it's not that bad here. We needed more space anyway."

She pulled away from him, rolling over so she was on her stomach, hugging the pillow underneath her to get a better look at her everything. "Is the sun too strong, my warrior king?" a grin crept onto her lips as her eyes blinked slowly. Clearly this was way too early for her liking. To be fair, last night went on for longer than anticipated. "Are the little troublemakers awake yet?" She raised her head and turned to face the door. For now it seemed peaceful and quiet in the adjacent rooms.

Knowing well she would rise from the bed to check if he didn't stop her, Din hoisted himself over her body, practically pressing her into the mattress with his body weight. "You're not getting up to check on the kids now, cyar'ika," he muttered, peppering kisses along her shoulder. A chuckle escaped her lips as she rotated her head so she could see him in her peripheral.

She was so glad the mattress was soft enough to just give in under the weight, forming a perfectly human-shaped dent to make way for her body. "Whatever you say, great Mand'alor." For just a second she could feel him grind his pelvis into her butt.

He kept on pressing kisses on her neck, her shoulders, slowly crawling down her spine, kissing every little scar he found on his descent. "You really have to stop saying it like that." "Like what?" "With the bedroom-voice." He stopped to crawl back up to her head and leaned forward, giving her the chance to look into his face. His eyes were darkened, one of his eyebrows twitching upward.

"You're insatiable," she laughed, shaking her head. He slowly lifted off of her, immediately wrapped both arms around her and pulled her onto his chest. "That's your fault, my love." His voice was warm and silky, the vibration in his chest making her shudder. "My fault?" "You're just too beautiful so I can't keep my eyes or my hands off of you for long." "Di'kut" "Gar di'kut, forever." "Forever is a long time," she said softly and ran her fingers through his hair.

"And I'll be happy to spend every minute with you. I love you so much" he took her hand in his and softly kissed her knuckles. She sighed and watched him kiss every finger, eyeing her intently. She was mesmerized by his eyes, almost hypnotized by the dark brown, with the orange light surrounding them it reminded her of embers, glowing and warm.

Forever was a long time and although it didn't feel like it, time was progressing, evident by the threads of silver that sparkled in his dark brown curls. And although she felt like she herself was showing signs of ageing, he always told her she was as beautiful as the day he met her. "I love you more, mesh'la," she replied and rested her hand on his cheek.

"You and the kids are everything to me. I would die for you," he mused, closing his eyes as her finger brushed over his beard toward his lips. Her movements halted and the dark brown eyes reopened, scanning her features for signs of her sudden stop. The small crease on her forehead was enough for him to know exactly what was troubling her.

"Look at me," he pleaded with her, cupping her cheek in one of his hands now. "I know that look on your face. I would doesn't mean I will. Stop thinking about it. I'm here and so are you." Her hand slowly retreated to rest atop of his, thumb brushing over his warm and tanned skin. "Thanks to you, I am. You've saved my life once, I hope you don't have to do it a second time." She smiled warmly and nestled her face further into his hand.

Din grumbled and pulled her face closer, peppering it with kisses wherever he could reach. "I've saved your life twice. But it doesn't matter, you've given me more than I could ever imagine. I have a family now. And the most amazing wife in the galaxy." "I love you." "Until the end of space and time."

Both flinched when they heard a noise outside the bedroom. Instantly both heads were turned to the door, listening for more noises. One of the kids must've woken up, maybe their voices were too loud.

"Any guesses?" Din asked his wife, once again burying his face in her hair. "My gut tells me it's your mini-version," she suapected, turning her head to kiss him gently. "Your gut? Or your Jedi magic?"

Din rose from the bed, stretching his muscles in the morning sun, stared at by his better half. "And you say I'm insatiable." A sly grin appeared on his lips as he put on a shirt, his shoulders and bicep stretching the fabric just enough to make her hum. "The faster you check on the troublemakers the sooner you can come back to bed. Hurry, I'm not done with you."

She didn't have to tell him twice.

Translations:

mesh'la - beautiful

cyar'ika - darling

di'kut - idiot

gar di'kut - your idiot

[applesaucesims]

My Top 23 Screenshots from 2023

(actually 24 because I already removed so many and could not bring myself to remove another)

I was tagged by @sasaofastora and boy was it hard to choose! But I eventually narrowed it down to 23.

Didn't include every month in the list because some months just had too many good pics. This whole thing has also made me realise that 2023 was truly the year of Emma and Niall, love that for them. Another thing I realised is that I guess it's either wide angle or detail shots for me that I love the most.

I'm also tagging @simadelics @stargazingsims @blueshistorysims @satureja13 @swiftviolets - if you've already been tagged, it be what it be.

February

Might have peaked with this one idk. (x)

These two are from the same post and idk why but I'm just obsessed with them. (x)

March

"Idiots in love who are too shy to admit it to each other" trope my beloved. (x)

April

Two pics from the same post because I just put extra effort into flashbacks and flashforwards for unknown reasons. (x)

May

"Badly timed first kiss" trope my beloved. And I just love the little details of Emma's hand pushing Niall away. (x)

June

I lowkey love this wip preview more than the actual cc post. Sometimes I look back at it like "wtf how did I slay this hard??" (x)

Hand details my beloved. (x)

They are just so babey what can I say. (x)

July

July had the 1930s beach babes series, so there's a lot of edits I'm proud of. But I think this one is my favourite, and in general Judy slayed these the most imo. (x)

August

It's giving Van Gogh, it's giving aesthetic, it's giving masterpiece tbh. (x)

This is when I tested the new zeussims collection and it's another pic I just like staring at. I've first made my disney princess sims a long time ago, and I update them at least once a year, so seeing them all together (plus Barbie) just makes me very happy. (x)

September

I can't tell you why I love this shot so much, I just do. (x)

October

You know what? Actually, this is where I peaked. (x)

Height differences my beloved. (x)

You thought we're done with October? It was only the event of the century! I have decided that evening rooftop weddings are my favourite now. (x)

November

Look, idk why I love that shot at the door either. I guess those pants just look great on Niall, sue me. (x)

It's just the vibes of this post in general. Very aesthetic. (x)

December

I'm really happy with the nursery in general, but the pic with Emma in it is my fave. (x)

There's more pictures coming this month that I really love, but I don't wanna give spoilers, so they will be under the cut for now. Will change that once they've been posted.

Context-free pics from upcoming posts that go from "I don't need context to understand" to "what am I even looking at":

[darlingian]

🌿w e e k l y 🍄 t a g 🕯️ w e d n e s d a y🌙

hello forest dwellers, star gazers, and dream weavers. let's reveal a little bit of ourselves to each other and experience the joy of being known. (Or keep your secrets, Gandalf, idc.)

which character from any media would you like to have as a father?: Bob Belcher. Omg that man. 🥹

if money, laws, time, and effort were no object, what animal would you want to have?: a skunk. like obviously I'd have a lot of money to figure out the smell issue. But have you SEEN THE BABIES?! 😭 (everyone google a baby skunk rn. you won't be disappointed.)

what is your Chinese takeout order?: I like ginger beef, honey garlic veal, all the dim sum, and mango pudding.

what's your favourite emoji?: ✨this one. I held myself back from adding it to the title but couldn't resist adding it somewhere apparently lol

would you rather have a library, greenhouse, or home theater in your house?: a library. Hands down. The library from "A Marvelous Light" specifically would be lovely

what childhood tv show do you think of the most fondly?: Arthur. Oh my gosh I am still so in love with that show.

what was your tumblr like when you first joined?: I joined in June 2010 according to my archive. It was a much different place. Lol my blog was just a bit of everything. But leaning more on the aesthetic side because I was in highschool and wanted people to think I was cool.

what clothing style do you love but don't feel compelled to replicate yourself?: Fairy-kei and goth lolita! So unique and beautiful.

if you were plopped into a fictional world, which one would you know the layout of the best?: I think I'd know my way around Stars Hollow pretty well.

what is your favourite piece of art?: Ophelia by John Edward Millais

do you have a water bottle? what does it look like?: I have a venti white pearlescent Starbucks cup. I need a new one though. Those owala ones are tempting!

what fanfic trope is a quiet fave?: I don't shout about it, but sometimes a slow burn is sooooo good. The yearningggg

do you carry a daily bag? what does it look like? what's the weirdest thing in it?: my current bag is a leather crossbody satchel purse. I thrifted it and I love it. I have a hospital bracelet and a packet of Mrs dash from the psych unit in there. Lolol

If you had to ship Mickey with another Gallagher, who would it be?: Oh lordy. Carl. Lol I think Carl has similar dufus energy to Ian and Mickey clearly likes that. Ahaha 🫣

what is a fanfic trope you didn't expect to like and then very much did?: AUs. I was so determined that all I wanted to read was canon compliant, post-canon, and filler.

Do you think s11 Mickey can still carry s11 Ian?: Yes. And I think he tests it all the time. 😂 (Maybe that's part of the reason he wanted to get swole. Ian has bulked up and it is getting harder. Lol)

who got custody of the killing bat when they sold the house?: I think Lip just assumed he could have it. And Debbie stole it at the soonest opportunity. "Because I'm a vulnerable, single mom, Lip!"

Thanks for playing! I'm gonna tag all these fine folks: @deedala @michellemisfit @suchagallabitch @jrooc @mybrainismelted @gallawitchxx @gardenerian @heymrspatel @thepupperino @mickeysgaymom @milkmaidovich @creepkinginc @too-schoolforcool @tellmegoodbye @metalheadmickey @heymacy @iansw0rld @callivich @energievie

[thescribeoflostmemories]

MY VOWS TO YOU of pierro x f!Reader in canon genshin universe please!!! So excited for june!!!!

Flaming bonds being tested.

Reader x Pierro

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Music: Waltz No. 2 by Dimitri Shostakovich & Priestess in the darkness musicbox+orchastra (Fire emblem)

note : Implied cursed/ khaenri’ah reader, take that into account and I just randomly puke these all out while I was bored out of my mind during a meeting.Y’all proud of me? Also I have no such thing as summer vacation 🫠 I hope you like it.

- P

"Delusions too die hard, only the savage can reign supreme in this twisted wonderland. But what say, you? Who kindled but the last light of day." - Scribe

“I will lift up your sorrows,”

How many thousand suns have passed, and how many thousand moons, you must?

When did you exchange vows with one such as the man titled as your forevermore lover?

"My lady, Lord Harbinger Jester has arrived."

Jester, it does nothing to ring a bell in your mind on who that was.

"My lady, Breakfast is served." You’d rather spend the days alone, even with a cold bed to dream.

You had no recollection outside of your own name, broke away from sweet repose to this strange rozen land. The tall and small were under this Jester’s command, only a few could only withstand.

“Is it you, who have brought me here?” The bed is stale like bread, and it seems it only occupies you as the owner. Wallowing in contempt as you stare longingly out for the remainder until the blue hours come and go. You’re on the cusp of being exposed in your enclosure, frail and darkness inches closer than the ones that glances up from below.

‘Your cup will never empty,’

Upon the round table the man has laid for you, a small party he did threw.

Pierro is the name that you accrue. He had roused you from the hold of the archon, he did not dispute.

“Meister,” You heard of that title once before. Under the waking moonlight, he speaks of those that dare to oppose them with their might. Surely, what does he propose to justify his price?

“Evr’ything would come to light.” He says as if he had found the path to destroy the hand of heavenly edifice.

‘For I shall be your wine,’

Arrogance, a slow and insidious murderer. “For whom do you serve?” an inadequate query for one fittingly such as thy father. Voice hoarse from years of

“The lady of solemn promise.” he replied back, hollow and alone whisked away by the thread of fate tied to ev���rmore fractured amore.

March on the sands that strayed, from dimmed Khaenri’ah.

‘I light your way in darkness,’

Tearing, progress. You had exhausted all efforts, unplugged.

Realize your epiphany as gentle hands covet yours. Feeling the spine-chilling wind against your back.

In the past, you had recall of twin suns that sink into one, and strange black stars that soar through your scry.

Searching for dark Khaenri’ah

‘With this ring, I ask you to be mine.’

Your hand blessed once more with his soft whispers of perennial burning blue pyre.

To dine. Intruth; your fleeting light he cannot deny. Their love, shall cry, and die. In lost Khaenri’ah.

[winterswhite]

Personal rant, CW for talks of blood and medical stuff

The past 5 days have really been so much for me and it... seriously doesn't feel like only 5 days at all with how much has gone on

On Wednesday evening I got home from work feeling extremely weak after telling my QPP repeatedly that I don't feel good, and after I was no longer able to hold my head up or open my eyes without extreme effort my roommate took me to the emergency room where we waited 9ish hours for me to even be taken to a bed and then one or two more to be seen

When they did get there, they said they needed to take blood, give me an IV, do chest x-rays, and a few other tests (I think they tested me for a stroke too) because clearly a lot was wrong

The nurse tried to put the IV in my left arm and then my hand, failing both times because she couldn't find a vein. She then called over a second nurse, who said since I had already been poked twice, she wasn't going to poke me unless she was sure she had one

She left without poking me.

She called over a doctor to come with a whole ass ultrasound setup to use that to find a vein, and they only found a suitable one in my upper right arm, meaning I had to hold it up at an uncomfortable angle the entire time and because of where it was, it also hurt the entire time (only a little, but still)

They also interrupted it in the middle to take more blood ("well that can't be good")

Also, while they were putting the IV in, I remember them struggling to reach the vein, and the pain from them wiggling it around trying to reach my difficult ass vein, and then hearing "how attached are you to this sweatshirt?"

I had... bled all over it (fortunately they stopped the bleeding pretty fast, very different from my last experience with an IV where I nearly bled out on the hospital floor)

Anyway, after wanting to cry from how uncomfortable the whole experience was but eventually managing to sleep through the last half hour of it, they told me about my bloodwork, and a lot is wrong! Some of the things that have always been wrong with me, and some new things, like low thyroid and low potassium, low sodium etc

They scheduled me for a follow-up appointment in a week and I leave, it is now Thursday morning

I picked up the meds they prescribed me and got home around noon, exhausted from not having slept all night, and napped

Only to wake up to a terrible toothache out nowhere, that at its worst was so bad I couldn't lift a finger

I ran to the dentist but they were closing by the time I got there and told me to come back the next morning

I did, and they said I need an emergency root canal, but that it would be hard to find any endodontists who take my insurance, which... yeah, it proved to be impossible

So now, today, I'm scheduled for the root canal, and I have to pay for the whole $1500 out of pocket

Which I haven't reached, but... I'll have to see what I can manage now

Also, through all of this, my workplace is telling me it's "unacceptable" not to show up to work because they're short-staffed. As if I wasn't stuck in the fucking hospital. I worried about getting fired, because I need that money to pay for the fucking root canal and I hadn't even received my first paycheck, so I went in to work yesterday, but wasn't able to finish a full day of work because I felt like Shit

They still told me they need a doctor's note specifically stating that I can't work for x number of days (even though I gave them my emergency room discharge papers to prove I was unwell) before they could believe that I was actually not feeling well enough to work

So I guess I'm going to ask the fucking endodontist for one

And this cuts into my funds for my trip to take the JLPT and some other things in June, which I also really need so I can get a better job. It is absolutely necessary that I take this trip, but I'll no longer have the money for it yet, and travel costs only go up as you get closer to the date of, so lol.

Anyway. It has not even been 5 full days since I first went to the ER. I need a fucking break.

[mumufic]

So, I think I’m coming back to HP, finally, but not Sirry yet. Right now, I’m working out the draft of a time travel drarry canon rewrite. Why? Because I can. I’m about 3 chapters in and I thought I might post a preview for anyone who is interested in reading my works. i think if you enjoyed Three Sisters, then you might like a fic in which Draco Malfoy is the Boy Who Lived:

———————————————————————

Lucius seemed to find his voice now as he shoved his wife behind him. “My lord, Draco is not the same as the Potter and Longbottom children. He was born in June—”

“You disappoint me, Lucius,” the Dark Lord interrupted. “I thought you, among your cousins and in-laws, would be cannier than to attempt to circumvent a prophecy. Or did you think I would not discover that your wife was due at the end of July and you had her birth prematurely? Worry not that the other children are being dealt with as we speak. But the child in your wife’s arms belongs to me.”

“My lord, Draco is not—!”

“Silence!” The world of Malfoy Manor hushed at the command in the Dark Lord’s voice. Draco could see his father unbearably tense in the effort not to quake in his boots. “You test my patience, Lucius. Even now, you withhold your child from me, when you have pledged your magic and your blood to me.”

“I did not pledge my flesh, my lord,” and Lucius sounded almost sullen in his declaration. “Please, Draco fits none of the words Snape has reported—”

The Dark Lord laughed, and Draco thought that sibilant laughter would haunt his nightmares for years to come. “Do not treat me like your foolish peers, Lucius! The dragon light-bringer! These are the words of the prophecy! Do you not see how stupidly you have fallen into its trap, in your hubris of maintaining your unctuous family traditions? Hand the child to me now, and you and your wife will be spared.”

Narcissa’s hand darted to the sleeve of Lucius' robe. “No, please, Lucius! He’s your son!”

“My lord, I—I cannot—”

He did not finish stumbling over his words as the Dark Lord had already raised his wand. The way he uttered the fateful spell was almost bored. Lazy. But the flash of green light from his wand would haunt Draco forever.

“Avada kedavra.”

Lucius was dead before he hit the ground. Narcissa shuddered as she watched her husband fall, her arms now convulsive, painful around the rolls of baby fat of Draco’s little body.

“You killed him,” she said, and the disbelief in her breath was palpable as the air shimmered once more, Narcissa invoking the dark, powerful magic of the Black blood that ran in her veins. “You killed him when you were the one to give him to me.”

“I gave him to you, Narcissa, and I can take him away. Hand the child over now.”

Narcissa’s fingers were talons around Draco’s body, her nails digging into the fabric of his clothes. “He is mine! You can’t take him! He is mine! My flesh! My blood! You cannot—”

“Do not be foolish, child,” the Dark Lord interrupted impatiently, his wand now trained on Draco’s mother. “That child is no more yours than was your foolish husband. You have him because I allowed you to. Now hand the boy to me and I will spare your life.”

[brenthellerblog]

Scaler Academy Review with Proof

Hello community, I am one of the ex-Scaler students from the April Batch. I got a job from Campus Placement and I got only one referral in the entire one year. Sadly, I need to pay them, hence I wanted to make people aware of some facts backed with proof, so that they do-not fall into this trap. I have seen a lot of things written about Scaler in the recent month. Scaler came out in public with a video on "What we do and Why we do", where they said their curriculum is focused on learning and not on jobs. But they end up getting disappointed, like most of us in our did.

In India, rarely people will come out in open to speak, because no-one wants to risk their future, so do I. People join such courses thinking that we do not need to pay now, we will pay when we get job. Hence they just join without giving it a second thought. But the main disappointment starts when you start paying installments for 24 months without getting any help to land up a job from the people whom you are paying. Let me bring to you some interesting facts about Scaler which proves that they sell their course on referrals and maximum people do join Scaler thinking that.

Their course costs you around 4.5L if you have a job paying around 15L base. It might cost you more if you have a good base salary. It is 15% of your base for 24 months.

We were near about 200 people in our April Batch who joined for the sake of a backup that Scaler might help us. Gradually with time, it appeared to us that they were hoping for us to get a placement on own rather then putting efforts to place us. Once we guys got a placement on own, the EMI plan was setup immediately, and they blacklisted us for future referrals since we crossed the slab. They say that they will keep referring us, but they don't once you are placed. The sole reason is they have got their money from you.

Only referrals were provided to Amazon which is considered to be a mass recruiter in India now, and every 3/10th people on Linkedin provides you a referral. Referrals to Lido learning was provided, but the people from my batch backed of, because the company had a legal case running. However some did join it, after joining those people had to use their laptops in work, they were not even provided with laptops, and those people are paying their installments and are really upset with the way they were cheated.

They state that they have 500 partner companies with them in their website. This is one of the other lies they have been spreading, they hardly have 8-10 companies, and they also hire a max of 10 people every year. If they had 500 partner companies, why were referrals not provided to us, May and June batch for Uber, Booking.com, Netflix, Google, Facebook, Tower Research etc?

In their recent video they released, if you ask them about referral stats, or anything is posted which goes against them, you will find that comment deleted withing an hour. Their new batch started this week, where to enroll people they published a blog which claims that 97% people were placed from the batch. The moment you take the entrance test and select people, you know those people are some of the best talents in India and will get a job. They released their placement stats, where you will not find a company which they mention in the above image.

Moreover they have not added a stat count on how many referrals did they provided to FAANG or other companies, which they boast of during the enrollment. The companies listed below are not even the names they mention in their websites. They have added 4 count to Amazon placed people in the name of PPO just to fool people around and boast them of fake numbers. Amazon Interns have confirmed that Amazon never confirms PPO chances before the internship ends. Moreover, Amazon did a intern drive for entire India and this was open to all. They claim to refer people to De-Shaw. What they simply do is, they go on to Careers site of De-Shaw and fill up your application form, and you get a test link(saying this because referral test of De-shaw is of 70 minutes, and the career site test is of 100 minutes). Then they term this as a company referral. Link to blog.

They have banners which states that there are all the top people teaching the course. Truth is, the people in the banner hardly take 3/4 classes each for the sake of the banner they posted. Most of the classes are taken by some guy who is not that good, or someone who is graduating in 2020 without any industry experience. Previously they gave good slabs to people joining them, they have started giving slabs of 7/8 to the new batches, which is a clear indication that they do not have companies to refer too.

They have some set of mentors who take the mentor sessions for the sake of 1.5K that they get per session. On an average every guy does 7-10 sessions. This is because whenever you approach Scaler for referrals, they will carve out a reason of the ground. Sometimes it will be, your problem % is less, sometimes your attendance, sometime your mentor session is less. And at the end when they are not left with reasons, they come up "What we do?, Why we do?". They claim they spend lacs of rupees for every student, hence their fees is that high. Let me bring you up some calculations.

Average 8 mentor sessions costs 1500 * 8 = 12k.(Source: Mentor). Everyday a class is taken by an instructor who teaches roughly 50 people(50 because most of the people do not join classes after 2/3 weeks) for 2.5 hours. In India, the average fees for an instructor teaching is 3k/hour at a maximum(it is 2k/hour on average). Lets take 10k. So 10k/200 = Rs 50 per day. Every month they have 20 classes, at max they will have 140 classes in 6 months. I have taken the extreme higher limit of everything. Which eventually costs you 7k across 6 months. Since they are not providing you with referrals, I am not adding any money count to it. They for sure do-not have 500 partner companies, lets round off 12 + 7 = 19k to 25k. The profit margin which they are making is immense, 4.5L — 25k is 4.25L per student. I say per student because, maximum people will eventually get placed with the talent they possv when you are binding them for 1.5 years under you in the name of a contract.

I started practicing at Interview-Bit in my second year. I was so pleased with the platform they had then. Then the Scaler thing came up giving us so many hopes. But eventually it is all about making money. The so known good guys(Abhimanyu and Anshuman) are exploiting Indian talent to earn big. This needs to stop. I will urge everyone to share this post as much as you can, the exploitation of talent needs to stop.

[chelseydavidson]

My Progress - Week 8

What is working?

Frankly, not much – I’m getting a bit pessimistic, if I’m being entirely honest.

I’ll chalk the Facebook groups I joined as a pseudo-win (more on that below), but not too much else – while the Facebook groups haven’t netted any leads as of yet, they do have my target audience, so I’m holding onto some hope. I’m also preparing to pivot to a paid digital marketing strategy.

I also looked into setting up a Craigslist account, which will cost me $5 to run for 30 days. I’m a little nervous because I heard about Craigslist being a bit of a sketchy platform with scammers and stalkers and setups (oh, my), so I’m a little reticent about using my credit card on a platform with that kind of reputation. However, Craigslist is very much committed to local focus, which could be helpful for generating concentrated interest strictly in Durham Region. 

What is not working?

Pretty much everything else.

So, I received absolutely no word from the Unschooling Association, despite BCCing all the leading members of the board and the specific representatives for my area. 

My local library doesn't do any promotion of small businesses to support them -- only for not-for-profits and other free services. So, that’s a dead end. (That includes the Pickering, Ajax, and Whitby systems.)

My Kijiji ad was taken down this week. There was an issue with the category I placed it in and they want me to resubmit in a different category and pay a fee to repost it. I’m on the fence about Kijiji’s effectiveness as it is, and the fact that I couldn’t test it out organically before opting in for a paid option, makes me quite nervous. I’ll need to do more research before I sink money into it. 

Facebook got back to me the same day saying that they are “not the channel to deal with this issue. Please troubleshoot using the website.” I only contacted them because the website didn’t offer support setting up an account when the email address isn't being recognized as valid (my guess is the domain name is confusing it, but who's to say?). The website support only stems from already being a user. This would be, in my opinion, an absolute failure in customer service, but I don’t see Facebook hurting none. In a fit of frustration, I used my existing personal Facebook profile to post a Facebook Marketplace ad. It looks pretty much like the Kijiji ad did, but so far, it's managed to stay up. No bites, but still fishing.  

I also joined two Facebook groups - a Durham Region Bulletin Board group and a Toronto Tutors group (which covers the GTA as well) - and posted in the discussion to potentially generate interest. Unfortunately, no one has contacted me from the groups yet. Since I did this recently, I’ll leave a little time to see if this effort gains any traction. 

How do you feel the project is coming?

I’m in full-on Debbie Downer mode.

Despite feeling deflated, it hasn’t stopped me from continuously exploring more opportunities. I’m also actively researching ways to advertise best to parents online, because I am definitely leaning towards paid options. I have considered printing flyers as well and distributing them at children-focused events as they crop up now we're in the springtime or handing them out near or at locations that cater to providing lessons for children. 

I’m getting increasingly nervous about how close we’re getting to summer break. The end of June is just around the corner (and for many post-secondary students, their programs have ended until the fall) and parents can lose the same commitment heading into the break that they may carry during the schoolyear, making it a rough season for tutoring businesses. 

What are you learning about running a business?

Tenacity is what I am learning, above all else. If at first you don’t succeed, try again. And again. The key to that perseverance is to try something new, though. Sometimes it feels like throwing darts at the wall to see what sticks. Nonetheless, I’ll keep whipping darts. 

I have spoken with my husband, who’s been an entrepreneur for over three decades, and he reminds me that, in a word-of-mouth business like tutoring, the greatest hurdle is getting the first client. If you do right by that first client, the word will get out eventually and more clients will come. I keep reminding myself of this when I feel epically discouraged.

What are you learning about yourself?

I wish could tell you that I was learning I am a marketing extraordinaire that could sell honey to a bee, but alas, no, I am still honing that skill.

I am learning instead that there are limits to my optimism. I like to think that I have a can-do attitude, but I also like control. Getting customers is not something I can control and it does eat away at my normal level of bubbliness. I definitely experienced a bit of a Unikitty moment. 

I am also learning that, in spite of having no control over getting that first critical customer, I am a persevering person. I will stick with it, even if it’s sticking it to me. Here’s to not giving up!

[storiesofstratos]

Chapter 13: Close Encounters

Daniel takes to the streets, and gets a little more than he bargains for when he meets someone new...

You know that moment, when the clock strikes three on a fateful day in June? When the bell rings for the last time, and you walk out of school knowing you won’t have to go back to that hellhole for a whole three months? When the burden of all those tests and homework and all that just slides off your back, and you take that first deep breath of the warm summer air, and it hits you that you get to enjoy it however you want?

That’s how I felt, standing on the roof of my favorite pizza joint for the first time, looking over one of Stratos City’s many bustling streets. It was like a moment straight out of a superhero movie. Minus the pouring rain and brooding, deep voice.

"Okay, take it slow today. I know you wanna go all out but these people don't know who you are," Nico's voice echoed in my earpiece as I started moving from rooftop to rooftop. "You gotta introduce yourself slowly. Show that you're here to help." 

"I got it, I got it!" I retorted as I looked all around. Someone in danger maybe... an old lady crossing the street, some real boy scout stuff or something like that. “Look, would you just relax? I got this!”

I was able to jump from rooftop to rooftop without much effort. Keeping a bird’s eye view was nice, at least when it came to watching out for anyone plotting something… villainous? Criminal? I dunno, something bad. Which is exactly what I saw. Some guy, probably around my age… god, he was young. Mostly shaved head, save for a mohawk that was dyed toxic green. On the taller side, he wore a leather jacket over a white t-shirt, and some jeans, looking like a stereotypical punk in an 80s movie. Decently athletic build, looked like he knew how to handle himself in a fight.

At least, that was the conclusion I came to when I saw that he had someone pinned against the wall of an alleyway. The guy was pretty badly beaten too, they must have fought recently… but the punk with the green hair barely had a scratch on him. So either it was a really one-sided fight, or this was…

I dropped down the fire escape of the building I was on, working my way down the stairs until I was on the ground behind him. “Let him go.”

“Huh?” The punk turned to me, looking me up and down. “The fuck’re you? It ain’t Halloween yet, pal. Get outta here.”

I put my fists up. “I’m not gonna ask you again. Let him go, and walk away.” I tried my best to sound intimidating, but dammit, I was nervous. I’d never been in a fight before! I just hoped that my strength would carry me where I had no technique.

To my surprise, he did in fact drop the guy. That was… easier than I thought it would be. “Okay, good. Now, just get out of-”

The wind picked up suddenly, knocking Daniel off his feet. The sudden collision against the brick wall of the building sent a shock up his spine before he crumpled to his knees. Shaking his head, he tried to get to his feet quick, putting his hands up just in time to block another blast of compressed air.

“What the hell?? You have powers too..”

Daniel leapt out of the way to avoid a second blast. Stumbling as he got to his feet, he rushed his opponent, throwing a quick jab, only for his fist to connect with the wall behind him, cracking the bricks that made it up. A stabbing pain hit Daniel’s abdomen, the young man barely able to register the liquid seeping into his clothes before another blast sent him flying up into the air.

He was able to twist himself in the air, just enough to avoid the arcing electricity blazing by him. “You got lightning too?? Come o-”

His words were cut off by a blast of cold air from behind, sending him hurtling into the pavement below. Reeling, he threw a wayward punch, which managed to make contact. He could hear the prominent sound of cracking bone- ribs. Dazed, and still somewhat confused, he managed to connect another blow, and then another, sending his assailant into the wall.

But before he even had a chance to collect his thoughts, he felt the ground beneath him disappear. His assailant had grabbed him, flying both of the boys up into the air, before he was unceremoniously dropped.

I hit the ground hard. I couldn’t tell what was left and right at that point, but I sure as hell could feel the pain. I got up, shakily, and leaned against the wall for support. I had blood on me.. But was it just mine? I couldn’t tell at that point, honestly.

I finally collected myself enough to figure out that the bastard who attacked me had fled. Did.. he fly?? I couldn’t do that.. How the hell was I supposed to fight him like that? At least my mind was made up. If another superhuman was out causing trouble, I couldn’t just sit idly by, could I?

“Daniel,” Nico’s voice came in through the communicator, “Come on man, answer me!”

“I’m here,” I finally answered. How long had she been talking to me? “I.. I think I need to return to base. You guys are gonna wanna hear about what I saw… and… I think I need a serious bandaid.”

[filmyypeople]

My journey hasn’t been easy but the child in me keeps me going : Bidisha Ghosh Sharma

05 June, 2023 I Richa Devesar I FilmyPeople

A young girl, who has loved watching Bollywood films since childhood, had this dream of becoming an actress one day, but then there were no Filmy contacts, no formal training, how was she going to do what she eventually did and that too on her own?  It was her positive and lively attitude, enthusiasm, love and respect for herself, her life and people around her that brought her where she is today. Success didn’t come her way dancing when she started off as lot of struggle and hard work was involved. It took her almost 20 years to get the kind of role she had been looking for, all these years though she has done a good number of serials. It has been one long journey but what one needs to appreciate in her is her perseverance, spirit of never giving up and always giving her best, no matter what!

Bidisha Ghosh Sharma needs no introduction today, as everyone knows her as Teji Aunty, Viaan’s mother in Katha..Ankahee but her journey which started as Komolika’s sister in Kasauti Zindagi Key Season 1 wasn’t easy but worth sharing. Inspite of having good looks, confidence, talent and above all enthusiasm for life, it has not been a cakewalk for her. Bidisha, who apart from being an actor, is a writer, a painter and a singer as well. How did she make it all possible without much of a formal training? Its her passion, her will power, her positive outlook and the child in her that keeps her young and energetic and enthusiastic all the time.

There is actually so much to write about her not because of her talents alone but for the person she is..warm, humble, friendly, down to earth, sweet and honest to the core. It was a pleasure talking to this multi-talented girl who just loves life and is more than just grateful for what all she has achieved so far. Let’s get to know her more.

 Katha Ankahee is doing extremely well and people are just loving the serial, the story and the starcast. The first thing I would like to know is How did Katha… Ankahee happen? It so happened that Ravi Bhushan Sir who was looking for someone who could play Ehsan’s mother had seen my work in Dil Sambhal Ja Zara, which coincidently was a Turkish series adapted in hindi. So, I was called for the audition, then look test happened and I was told that since my face cut and look resembles Viaan’s, instead of Ehsan, I would be playing Teji’s character. And here I am!

Were you ready to play the mother of a guy who, in real life is just a few years younger to you or there were apprehensions?

Not at all, Not at all! The thing is that I had already played the role of a Grandmother few years back on a DD Show called “Khwaabon Ke Darmiyaan”. So that ways, I had no apprehension. Moreover, as an actor I like to do challenging roles. If everytime, its ‘me’ playing on the screen, there would be nothing new. So I found it challenging to get in to the character of an older woman who is not like ‘me’…No doubt …one has to prep for such a role… a lot but that’s what challenges me. And talking about Katha, it’s a very realistic serial and not one of those serials where a mother is given that typical look. Now if you see around, there are fit and younger-looking mothers everywhere…So, thankfully my character in the serial is quite contemporary.

Bidisha Ghosh Sharma in Katha.. Ankahee :

How are you finding the fame and the fan following ?

It is surreal! Everytime I go somewhere, people stop and talk to me, appreciate me, smile at me. I have been in this industry for quite sometime now and have done lot of work but the kind of recognition, popularity and response I am getting from Katha is phenomenal. And you know,  once in a while I do pinch myself and  say ’Okey, its good that people are appreciating but don’t get too excited, Bidisha.’ But honestly, I really love it when people genuinely praise our efforts and work.

Moreover, what happens is that when your whole work environment is positive, every one is working hard, you end up encouraging each other and the best version comes out. I feel Adnan is a fabulous person, too disciplined, too sincere and I get to learn so much from him. Then Samar, he is like… fabulous, so natural, so impromptu. With Priyamvada, its lot of fun, we laugh like kids and crack jokes and she is a brilliant actor and pushes me to be brilliant as well. Then there’s Aditi, although I haven’t had too many scenes with her but she’s also a fantastic actor..so warm, down to earth and humble. The writers are fabulous. I think, main jitna bolun utna kam hai about our cast and crew. And then, our director, the captain of the ship…. We toh blindly trust him because he knows how to get the work out of an actor. You know as an actor, sometimes when we give a shot we’re not sure but when we see our scenes on screen how they have turned out, our trust in our Director goes up like vo haan boley to haan.

You always wanted to be an actor or it just happened? 

As a child, I was crazy about movies. Like, Exam hai kal lekin mujhe Mr. India dekhni hai and you know when my parents would lock me up in the room during my exams main kaan lagaa ke sunti thi ke kaun sa scene chal raha hai. That time only I had decided that I want to be an actor. But it didn’t happen very soon because I had no connection in the entertainment industry. People say na when you really want something from your heart, poori kaaynaat ek saath ho jaati hai. The same thing happened with me. It so happened that when I was doing my Hotel Management Degree in Manipal, Govinda and Urmila had stayed in the hotel where our training was going on. They were shooting for Hum Tumpe Marte Hain. So, that was the first time, I got connected with a filmy crew..the assistant directors and the director. They would invite us to see the shooting and even when I came back to Mumbai, we remained in touch.

So, you faced the camera for the first scene for which serial and how it all happened? In those days, when I had just started out, what used to happen, we would drop our portfolios at the Production Houses. So, I had also dropped one at Balaji..and one fine day, I got a call and that was my first experience. I played Komolika’s sister’s role and it was kind of a cameo. But the journey had begun..like this I kept on playing small characters and trust me it hasn’t been an easy journey..it took me 20 years to reach where I am today. But yes, these small roles only made way for bigger ones and the first major serial that I got was Doordarshan’s Khwaabon Ke Darmiyaan, then Ye Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai , also Sufiyana Pyaar Mera , Kahaani Hamaari - DIl Dosti Deewaanepan Ki, and few more till Dil Sambhal Ja Zaraa came my way..but unfortunately Corona came and nothing more happened. But yes….things changed with Katha….Ankahee.

Bidisha Ghosh Sharma in Kasauti Zindagi Key Season 1 as Komolika’s sister: (Check 4:32 and 8:02)

Bidisha in Dil Sambhal Ja Zaraa :

Bidisha in Sufiyana Pyar Mera :

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Bidisha Ghosh Sharma (@bidisha_ghosh_sharma)

Have you had any formal training in acting?

Initially not! But yes just few years ago, I did an Acting workshop with Saurabh Sachdev’ which really helped me as an actor. And before that it was like whatever I knew of acting, all was learnt on the sets. It takes me back to my early days, one day when I was shooting for a serial, I just wasn’t able to give the right shot. At that time, a senior actor came up to me and gave me few tips and I incorporated that and again gave the shot and trust me it came out perfect and everyone there appreciated me. That was it! There has been no looking back since then. I started getting lot of offers as I discussed earlier serials like Khwaabon Ke Darmiyaan and all and one thing I would like to mention that I actually learnt a lot while doing this serial.

Bidisha in Khwaabon Ke Darmiyaan :

Bidisha, you are not just an actor. You are a writer, a singer, a painter and a reasonably good cook too? You sing so well, are you a trained singer, did you have any formal training?

Honestly no formal training as such except few days here there, its just that I’ve been singing since childhood and when I entered college there also I used to participate in competitions and my friends and seniors always used to encourage me like they would always insist on singing Asha Bhonsle songs. Infact, when I had not started acting, I participated in Channel V Popstar Hunt and Indian Idol  too and somehow managed to reach semi final round but then…I wasn’t selected So, I kind of gave up. This was the time when I had not started acting and just like that I thought of giving it a try. 

Bidisha singing Nainon Mein Badra…

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CpwczIJqTOW/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA%3D%3D

Now I would like to know about writer Bidisha? Please elaborate on that. When did you start writing? Also that unfinished book, you told me about?

As far as writing is concerned, I started writing poetry first, during my college days. Then there was a big gap. Then I wrote few short stories and during Covid time, I wrote screenplays. Very recently I have again started writing poetry and I post it regularly on Instagram. What happens is when you are writing a poem, you have to put yourself in other person’s shoes…unke emotions unki feelings..something you might not have experienced yourself but you listen to something and it touches you and you get in to that thinking mode…basically that’s the thing.

And as far as that unfinished book is concerned, that’s still unfinished. Somehow, I have not been able to complete that.

Bidisha’s poetry :

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Bidisha Ghosh Sharma (@bidisha_ghosh_sharma)

Now painting, I have seen some of your paintings and they are beautiful? Since when have you been painting? Actually, from my school days only, I was reasonably good in drawing, making sketches. But I was scared of brushes and paint and had no idea how to paint on the canvas. One fine day, I told myself that I must learn to paint. So, I learnt to make one canvas painting from a painter and then started practicing it myself with the help of YouTube. I first started with oil paint but what happens is that you have to wait for the oil paint to dry in order to paint another layer…and that wait was a difficult thing for me. Then I started with acrylic and then…made lot of paintings and even held few exhibitions.

Bidish'as painting :

And now something about cooking?

I love to eat and cook. Although I don’t cook on regular basis but I do like to experiment a lot especially with salads, gluten free cookies, bread, pancakes, muffins and burgers. Basically it was during Covid time that I got to experiment a lot. I cooked for over months day in and day out and that gave me so much more confidence in experimenting new dishes.

Which is your favourite bengali dish?

It’s really difficult to pinpoint one Bengali dish..because Bengali food is really very tasty and flavours are really amazing. Now I’m not saying it because I am a Bengali, but genuinely. You know the thing is that Bengali food takes lot of time to cook…its very time consuming and that’s the reason it’s not easily available in Restaurants also. My Mom is an expert she exactly knows which masala to put in which thing, how much roasting to be done etc etc. So, I just relish all Bengali food, basically.

I read in one of your interviews where you said that at heart, you are just 21 and trust me it reflects in your personality so what keeps you going?

Absolutely! What keeps me going is that I never let the child in me die. People grow up thinking they have to be serious about life. But I feel, one doesn’t have to be. You need to love, appreciate and be grateful for everything you have. I love nature and I’m always excited about life, like a child. A child is always excited about every new thing. So when we grow up what stops us from being excited about things? Actually, in day today life, people forget to appreciate, they tend to reject normal things saying ye to hai hi. But what I feel is we must thank the Universe, and be happy and honestly, happiness is what keeps me going and I love people, I’m a people’s person, love interacting with different kinds of people.

12. Tell me something about your husband. How does he take all this, your acting career?

Oh! He’s very supportive. He drops me and picks me up from my shoot everyday and supports me in whatever I do. He even takes me to auditions. So, I feel lucky to have him by my side.

13. Anything you would like to say..

I really want to spread this word, I want the world to respect each other and every individual should understand the differences in one another and just love one and all unconditionally. We shouldn’t  differentiate people for who they are, what they do, what religion they are from. Infact, we should understand that we are one species and that’s it. I believe one should always be honest, sincere with yourself and others and Stay humble!

So, that’s the real Bidisha Ghosh Sharma!

[049380913]

i’m glad tumblr is on the brink of its deathbed. the watchers of my panopticon are disappearing. the shame i hold inside me is shame that will remain with me. for me. not anyone else’s.

it’s june 1.

it’s pride month, and apparently also PTSD awareness month, gun violence awareness month, alzheimer's and brain awareness month, and immigrant heritage month. regardless of the multitude of causes people should raise awareness to, regardless of it also coincidentally being my birth month, i know that to me, this isn’t going to be any more special than a random tuesday in march. and it sucks.

i’m turning 21, and yet i’m stuck with the brain of an emotionally stunted teenager while in a creaky-boned misaligned aging body. 

i am filled with resentment from months, years, lifetimes past. why weren’t my friends there for me when i spent months letting my dishes pile up? why couldn’t anyone spare a half-hour chunk of their time for a meal with me? why did i have to eat a rushed grilled cheese every day for a month while everyone else got a home-cooked meal? why did i spend so much money on takeout? why didn’t i wipe my floors? why can’t i exert effort on my studies? my needs? myself? why wasn’t i given attention? why didn’t anyone notice? why didn’t i say anything? 

i’m turning 21, and yet i feel like a child who still cries for love and affection. i am a child who cries for love and affection. in the womb, a fetus does not cry. why would it, when it is completely enveloped by its mother? the moment it is born, however, it cries. it cries loud and wild, almost unconsolable. its ties to its mother are severed, creating its first scar—one that is shared with all human beings. it cries because for the first time, it is alone. 

i’m turning 21, and yet i still interact with relics of my childhood, back to a time when i was unaware of the negligence my caretakers were guilty of. i was left alone for hours on end—interacting with thousands of hours of tv shows, movies, video games—but it always culminated in me running immediately to the front door, embracing whoever came back, not realizing the repercussions this would have on my adulthood. at the end of the day, who could blame me for merely appreciating a rarity? 

i’m turning 21, and yet i can’t even feel fully resentful. for one, it could have been worse: i was never hit for being a brat, i didn’t have to spend my childhood working, i didn’t have to fend for myself the same way my parents did. i look back, and i realize that my parents really tried. they tried in their own ways, succeeded in their own ways, and failed in their own ways. perhaps they didn’t even realize their own mistakes until years after the fact. perhaps they didn’t truly understand the magnanimity of each of their decisions until recently. after all, they weren’t raised right, either. they were raised worse than i was—they were hurt children, too. 

i’m turning 21, and yet i still do feel resentful. 

my bitterness bleeds into my relationships with others. i see the differences in how people interact with me and with everyone else. i see the avoidant glances, i hear the dry laughs, i notice the shifts in posture. i can feel my friendships slipping away, and i never know exactly why. 

my bitterness bleeds into my relationship with myself. i’m so hard on myself, so much so that i am always in a cycle of aggression-turned-apathy. i want to be perfect, but i know it’s impossible, so i give up before the struggle even truly begins. what’s the point of hard work when it brings you to shit anyways? i self-sabotage every good chance i have so i can blame something. it’s come to a point where the nitpicking, the procrastination, the self-blame has become comforting. 

right before a test, i told someone halfheartedly, “well, what’s the point of studying when the test is designed to make you fail anyways?” they sarcastically replied, “that’s so encouraging!” at the time, i was confused. how come the most reassuring thought for me was a horribly depressing thought for others? i understand now, but it always feels too late for change. too much work for change. i’m too unfit for change. maybe everyone else has picked up on that.

i run in place, my net gain is zero, i have nothing.

i’m turning 21, and yet when i cry, i still make the same faces, the same deep heaves, the same sighs. my eyes still puff up, my face remains red, and i hug myself. maybe i smoke a cigarette the same way an infant sucks on a pacifier. maybe i drink my old fashioneds the same way i used to drink formula from a bottle. maybe i’m just trying to find the love i’ve been denied.

[petnews2day]

Ross Chastain cherishes first title bout despite falling short: 'I'm so proud'

New Post has been published on https://petnews2day.com/pet-news/small-pet-news/ross-chastain-cherishes-first-title-bout-despite-falling-short-im-so-proud/

Ross Chastain cherishes first title bout despite falling short: 'I'm so proud'

AVONDALE, Ariz. — Ross Chastain was sure that coming close but falling short in pursuit of his first NASCAR Cup Series championship would sting.

Sunday afternoon saw part of that come to fruition: A third-place effort around Phoenix Raceway just 1.268 seconds off the back bumper of race and title winner Joey Logano left Chastain a runner-up in the championship race. Yet there was little bitterness — if any at all — as he took to the media center podium shortly after nearly conquering one of his life goals.

RELATED: Elliott crashes out of contention | At-track photos

“The emotions are surprisingly good,” Chastain said. “Like, I‘m not sad. I‘m not upset. I honestly thought when we started the playoffs that if we made it, as I go through different scenarios — I do think about what I‘m going to think about ahead of time and think about what my thoughts are going to be and what I want them to be, and then I try to evaluate as I go.

“I thought if I — like this scenario, if I lost by a little bit, that I would be really upset, and I‘m not. Like I‘m so proud and so happy to give our first shot at these playoffs and at racing in the Cup Series with Trackhouse, and we just ran second.”

A dream season ended two spots short on the 1-mile desert oval. But the reflection of his journey — an eighth-generation watermelon farmer who rose to the NASCAR national series level 11 years ago and clawed through numerous underfunded rides all the way to a title-contending effort at the sport’s pinnacle — didn’t leave Chastain wallowing.

“I feel like I‘m on a never-ending hamster wheel to be the best version of myself, and that‘s not going to stop,” Chastain said. “I hope that I never lose that drive because I wake up and I think about how can I drive a race car fast. That is my main priority every day of my life now, and it has been for the past probably seven or eight years.

Story continues

“It wasn‘t at the beginning of my career. Before that it was how can I raise the funds to race, and before that was what do we need to do at the farm to grow a crop.

“You look at the progression of my mindset that comes natural when I wake up, and I feel like I‘m on a never-ending evolution to be better, and I can‘t wait to get to work this offseason.”

His efforts from 2021 to 2022 were extremely fruitful, producing his first two Cup Series victories at Circuit of The Americas and Talladega Superspeedway. The last year and a half has been a roller coaster of the aforementioned journey.

In June 2021, Chastain was at Dover Motor Speedway when he was texted the news that Justin Marks was purchasing Chip Ganassi Racing, where Chastain was employed as the driver of its No. 42 Chevrolet. With him was Darian Grubb, the Director of Performance for CGR then and now the same for Trackhouse.

Their hearts sank, burdened with the uncertainty, but that moment proved pivotal for two future Trackhouse employees.

“I’d say that was a big moment for himself and me personally,” Grubb told NASCAR.com, “because we were able to bond by sharing that news with each other at a test and trying to figure out what we’re going to do and just have each other’s back and know when we’re gonna go forward with it. Neither one of us knew at that point, whether we’re gonna make it and we both did. Now we’re here.”

So, too, is Chastain’s crew chief Phil Surgen. The duo finished 20th in points a season ago, netting the first three top-five finishes of Chastain’s career in addition to eight top 10s. This year, those numbers exploded — two wins punctuating series-bests in top fives (15) and top 10s (21).

“We had the opportunity to build the team from the ground up,” Surgen told NASCAR.com. “Me and Ross had worked together before. We absorbed a lot of the Ganassi employees, which I had a ton of confidence in and it’s been great. It’s been a great journey, just kind of growing and building together.”

The weight of the questions ahead lingered heavily on Chastain’s mind after the 2021 finale — a feeling he recalled clearly Sunday afternoon.

“I look at when we pulled down the backstretch 20th in the points last year with the 42, had a cooler full of beverages and, you know, walked away not knowing what the future was,” Chastain said. “We knew that tomorrow morning, Monday morning, we were walking in with new ownership and Chip (Ganassi) and Doug Duchardt and so many people that we had bet on being there for a long time in that 42 car, it was their time to step away. And there was a lot of unknowns.

“And you know, to look back and think we ran (14th) in this race, I believe, and 20th in driver points, to come back and run third today and second in the spring and fight for a championship, we’re only going to get better.”

Chastain was quick to credit the Next Gen car for Trackhouse’s immediate competitive nature, particularly in adding a second team to what was a single-car operation out of the Richard Childress Racing camp for Daniel Suárez in 2021.

“They took a big leap of faith with this car, the France family and NASCAR did,” Chastain said. “Obviously I‘m really thankful for that because it put Trackhouse into existence, and it gave us kind of the reason that we‘ve been able to be successful.”

The enthusiasm surrounding the No. 1 team’s success in its inaugural year already appears to be permeating the 2023 preparation.

“To ultimately get the results and be here to fight and finish second in the championship’s just really reassuring, confidence-building for next year. And, you know, largely our team is going to be the same and I can’t wait for next season.”

[erodasfishtacos]

hii! i love your ceo harry universe so much! i was wondering how one of the incidents that was mentioned before when a worker talks back to him ?

here’s to hold you over while im working on the next one shot :)

warning: harry is an asshole to everyone but his baby and wife, language, breastfeeding.

---

Well let's just start off by saying that there have been tons of instances where there was a disgruntled employee. Heres one.

It was six in the morning and Harry was supposed to be out of the house thirty minutes ago.

As soon as he'd stepped out from the closet that held his suits and professional attire, he had heard a squeak from the baby monitor mounted to the wall.

He steps over to see his little seven month old daughter wriggling around unhappily in her crib, kicking out her chunky legs with a pinched expression.

The smacking of her pouty lips telling everyone that she was hungry.

Harry looks over to his sleeping wife, who was on her stomach with her face buried into the side of her pillow. Her feet were peeking out from under the comforter and she was peaceful.

There's no way he would wake her, his job can always wait, he's is own boss for fuck's sake. That has him trailing into the dim nursery, sun barely peeking through the closed curtains.

"Oh, bub," Harry hums, hearing short, irritated whimpers from his demanding daughter. Just like her daddy. Wanted what she wanted, when she wanted it.

When Ivy hears her father's voice, she's gripping the railing to pull herself to sit up. Her displeased babbling begins between huffs of breathe, telling him all her complaints.

"I know, m'sorry. Daddy's s'mean," Harry coos when he picked her up and pops her onto his hip. She was a little space heater in her flower covered white onesie. ***

Ivy pats happily at her father's chest as he takes her down into the kitchen, keeping herself entertained by tugging at the collar of his dress shirt and trying to pull the decorative hankerchief out of his breast-pocket.

Harry goes about heating up a pouch of breastmilk in the bottle heater while humming to his daughter with soft kisses on her silky little curls.

He hisses when he pulls it back, goes to test it, and it drips onto his grey suit jacket. A splotch of breastmilk, the joys. He didn't have time to change, didn't really have time for any of this logistically.

Then Harry's trying to convince his picky daughter to take the bottle between her lips but she's refusing, letting out a wail and pushing it back towards him.

"Little love, know y'hungry," Harry murmurs, bouncing her on his hips in a soothing moment, "Need y'to eat f'me."

Then she's full on crying because Harry knows exactly what she wants, "You can't have it from your mumma right now. She's sleepin', we need to be nice, yeah?"

Harry swears his wife must have an extra sense for her daughter because she's stepping into the kitchen in just a tank top and pair of panties.

Ivy's cries pick up and she twists for her mum when she sees her. Y/N obliges and slips her out of Harry's arms before cradling her into the crook of her elbow.

She's tugging off the shoulder of her top and guiding Ivy until she's latched and goes completely quiet, eyes already lidded and heavy as she feeds.

Harry grunts, leaning in to give his wife a goodbye kiss, "Can't blame her, y'tits are amazing."

Y/N rolls her eyes at him but they soften when Harry reaches down to kiss his daughter's head.

"Don't be too late," Y/N asks, sleep still thick in her throat.

"Never, be home as soon as I can, my love," Harry assures her before stepping out.

He had a magnetic pull, it took strength and effort to be away from his two ladies for any amount of time. It made working that much harder, a struggle he'd never dealt with before.

--

It has him already in a sour mood when he steps into the conference room and one of his employees makes a comment under his breath to the person next to him.

"So we can't even be a minute late but he can be twenty, that makes sense."

Harry is usually never in the mood for bullshit. 

But he was especially not in the mood for it today. He wanted to be home with his sleepy wife and baby. Let her sleep and take care of Ivy.

"It actually does make sense, Todd. It makes sense because I'm the fuckin' boss," Harry replies with a sharp edge, slamming his briefcase onto the oak table loudly.

"Shouldn't you be setting an example for everyone?" He shoots back, not sure where the courage had been building from but everyone else is giving him bewildered looks.

Harry barks out a rude laugh, "I need to set an example of being punctual to grown arsed adults? Do I need to show you how to fuckin' tie your shoes too?"

Todd grimaces, “No. I’m just saying...it’s good to do that.”

“I am setting a good example, I’m a fuckin’ self-made billionarie. Is that not a great example to set?” Harry asks with a raised eyebrow.

 It was crazy how intimidating he could be with a stain of breastmilk on his suit.

The employee doesn’t know what else to say, awkwardly he looks down at his hands in surrender to the man who was still standing in front of his chair instead of sitting.

“Now,” Harry cuts through the tension, “I believe you had a report for me.”

He was quite surprised his boss didn’t fire him right then and there. He’d fired people for a lot less than what he just did.

Todd did indeed have a report for him. It had taken him three months to finish the project. He’d put his blood, sweat, and tears into this three-hundred page report with analysis, graphs, and charts.

He slides the fat stack of paper towards Harry, ‘A Summary of June Sales in All Corporate Offices’.

Harry takes on look at it and smirks at the man, “You know what? I’ve changed my mind. I think I’d like a summary for July instead of June. Get back to work on it.”

Todd and the rest of the workers look with flabergasted expression, they all knew how long this took to complete. 

So when Harry picks up the packet, carelessly tosses it in the trash bin, and walks out - well everyone is a bit in shock for a moment.

---

[chubbology]

The Munchies

prompt: a stoner feedee's girlfriend uses him to test out new edibles and deals with his munchies

Remmy returned home from visiting relatives on the last day of December, and he was very glad to be back. They’d fed him well and his pants were tight, but all the small talk and bad vibes had been as much of a drag as usual.

He opened the door to his apartment and breathed in a familiar, potent scent.

“Baby!” Brianna ran from the kitchen and tackled him.

“Happy almost New Year! Wanna hear my resolution? Baking and getting baked. Check it out.”

She brought him over to the counter, where she was almost done filling up three containers of what Remmy had no doubt were various edibles. He ignored the kitchen mess.

“I’m liking what I see,” Remmy laughed.

She preened and then pinched his love handle. “I bet you do."

"These aren’t your typical brownies, though," she said. "This is gourmet.” She kissed her fingertips in a muah.

The first container was full of moist shortbread, the second with a kind of apple crumble dish that looked divine. Last but not least, the third had a jumble of what like peanut butter cups.

“Try something!” Brianna gushed. She seemed to be a little floaty already. “You’re gonna be my new taste tester. I think I could really be good at this. Make some cash, too.”

So Remmy tried one of the peanut butter cups. His eyes widened, and he smiled. “Bri, these are incredible.” He ate another.

“Take it easy. Two should get you stoned. So says the recipe anyway.” Brianna rubbed his pudgy forearm as he eyed the rest in the container, biting the inside of his lip. “Hey. If you’re just hungry, I can fix that. You wanna eat?”

“I’m starving,” Remmy said. A lie, since he’d had a big lunch before driving back. But he could eat.

“Okay, I’ll get you something! Pay day was Monday. Let’s splurge. What do you want?”

McDonalds, Remmy’s mind supplied easily, in an almost salacious tone. His relatives thought they were too good for McDonalds, and now his body thrummed with the desire to just get a truckload of those greasy combos and revel in the guilt and satisfaction of eating every last unhealthy bite.

Then again. Brianna probably wasn’t okay to drive right now, he didn’t feel like getting back in the car, and the scale told him he’d hit 240 recently, “Let’s just order in.”

“Sounds good to me.”

That night, as they ignored the idiots on television bringing in the New Year, the two of them picked at the apple crumble - which tasted as brilliant as Remmy had suspected - and lounged around, enjoying their high. Brianna barely touched her Chinese takeout, and Remmy ate all of his. Then hers. Then he started grazing the kitchen for more food.

Over the course of the next week, the two of them finished off the rest of what she made, plus some more recipes that turned out delicious. Brianna got a pleasant high every time, and Remmy enjoyed the edibles, too, although his experience was slightly different. It was just—

He just—

He got hungry. Munchies but on unholy overdrive. Cranked to eleven and a half. With every high, Remmy became a little more overwhelmed by the sheer amount of food he felt compelled to pack away, savory and sweet. Takeout and fast food and quarts of ice cream. Nuts and fruits, too. Jar of peanut butter here. Tub of icing there. He’d never been very active, so it came as no surprise when his clothes began stretching over his chest and belly and thighs and ass. He popped a button getting dressed one morning and couldn’t stop thinking about it the rest of the day. He hadn’t realized it would happen so quickly, his body converting all the calories into flab. Flab that padded him out chubbier than he already was, and then more on top of that. In the mirror, he started to look big.

Brianna seemed unfazed by her boyfriend’s growing girth. She took to her baking resolution with as much gusto as she did anything that interested her, and even into March, April, and May, she was selling the edibles well and raked in money that almost made her day job obsolete. Remmy was constantly praised for being “the bestest taste tester ever” and enjoyed a steady stream of free highs to balance out the lows of spending most of his time working his IT job from home.

Working, gaming, watching old movies. Remmy already stayed sitting most of the day, but as he gained weight, gained a lot, filling out his desk chair to its limits, crumbs becoming his constant companion, he felt even less like standing up. His weight climbed to 280, 290, 300.

June, July, and August passed uneventfully, and pretty happily, too. Brianna stopped asking him what food he wanted from the grocery store and just bought him things. Bought him things she knew he’d eat when he got high, things that made his ass spread wider on the couch, his arms round out like sausages, his pudgy chest start to really droop. The scale said 320, 330, 340.

Remmy gave up trying to gain control of the new appetite Brianna’s heavenly edibles seemed to install in him irrevocably. When he craved, he ate, and he ate. And like a dam breaking, his body surged with so much excess fat he began spilling out of even his newest clothes.

He was a little ashamed, sure. But quite a few of his relatives were fat, so they couldn't talk, and it felt like sweet revenge to embarrass his irritating parents by becoming so overweight. As for everyday life, well, he just moved around from room to room slower, wore the same stretchy clothes a lot, and that was it. Remmy did mention his weight in passing sometimes to gauge Brianna’s feelings about it, but Brianna only ever giggled, called him cute, and passed him her venti sugary monstrosity of a coffee concoction, which he thoughtlessly sucked down to the dregs, ingesting a thousand-plus calories just like that. This made her eyes sparkle, huge and utterly endeared.

“Like a piggy,” she said, thumbing his fat cheek. “Always willing to eat.”

In bed, she made it clear she liked him the way he was, and was becoming. And it wasn’t long before Remmy realized he was into how big he was becoming, too.

They continued like this. Getting high together and watching movies and making out and snacking. Well, Brianna snacked. Remmy feasted. Gorged himself, to put it precisely, with Brianna’s enthusiastic help. “You look good soft,” she’d tell him, playing with belly fat that his stretchiest t-shirts couldn’t cover anymore.

Remmy would swallow another bite of a snickers and spread his huge thighs a little, with effort. “You call it soft, but I’m the one who gets tired moving from the office to the kitchen.” I’m so heavy, he wanted to say. God, I’m so heavy.

“Just move your computer to the kitchen then,” she said. “Duh.”

It was a seed planted that came to fruition a month later - when Remmy’s food cravings became unmanageable and his weight climbed past 360 - that he felt he would simply be more productive during his day job if his breaks to get food from the kitchen were shorter.

By November, whether he was high or not, Remmy was grazing all day, everyday. What Brianna got from the store became insufficient, and he started a habit of ordering take out most days. In big portions. His scale creaked at 375. When Brianna wasn’t home, he sometimes ate takeout on the scale to see if the number would rise.

On Remmy’s birthday in early December, Brianna made a fresh batch of his favorites again: the peanut butter cup edibles. After ordering pizza for delivery, she got in the shower, and Remmy scarfed down three of the big cups as soon as they cooled. Then he waited, leaning against the counter, scrolling on his phone, belly hanging, feet hurting. He didn’t want to go to the effort of sitting on the couch and getting back up again when he could just stay in the kitchen, where he knew he’d end up anyway.

He scratched his supple underbelly. Found a pack of Twizzlers and started eating those.

Soon enough, his breathing slowed as he felt the high slowly come over him. And, as expected, his whole body immediately began to tingle for satiation. Fattening food sung to him from the pantry and fridge and freezer all at once, and it was all going to make him so huge and heavy he wouldn’t be able to stand on his own wide feet, but he wanted it anyway.

He didn’t care if he was pushing 390 now. He’d blown up, yeah. Inflated from a thick guy to obese and waddling. At this point, he was so pumped so big with blubber that he couldn’t twitch without jiggling, but so what? He was hungry. Being high made him want to consume, and so he did. He couldn’t stop. Didn’t want to.

Remmy opened the fridge and took out his birthday cake, which Brianna must have stuck in there after getting home from work. He couldn’t wait to eat it properly. There was no way he could wait until after the pizza came. Besides, it was his birthday. Remmy took off the plastic lid of the round, triple chocolate cake and felt his nerves light up with anticipation. He was going to eat it all, and there was no stopping him.

He found a knife and cut himself a slice three times the size any reasonable person would take. Desperate to get the goodness into his mouth without delay, he skipped a fork and bit right into the gooey, dense cake and mouse and fudge. God, Brianna was so perfect for getting him the unhealthiest cake imaginable. She knew he didn’t care if he was ten pounds heavier tomorrow, if his fat ass ripped his sweatpants open, if he ate so much he couldn’t haul himself to bed—she knew he needed this.

He ate slice after slice, and it was mostly gone when Brianna got out of the shower, looking sexier than usual in her matching purple lingerie. She’d gotten chubbier with so much junk food in the apartment, and fat clung to her in all the right places. But her pudge was a far cry from his angry-red stretch marks and neck rolls. Hell, his moobs had grown bigger than her tits.

She found him in the kitchen, eating and holding his drooping belly, and she rubbed his back, cooing at him when he apologized.

“It’s okay. I figured you wouldn’t be able to wait all night. How are you feeling?”

“Good,” Remmy said, but all he could think about was getting his next bite. As she watched him, he tried to hold out. Tried to prove he could stop eating for two seconds. Three seconds, four - his resolve broke and he crammed the rest of a slice into his mouth and chewed, choking back a moan.

“You get the munchies so bad, don’t you?” Brianna grinned and leaned against his belly, patting and cupping his weighty breasts in the way she knew pleased him. “Let’s get you sat down. I’ll bring you what you need. Just sit and relax and watch whatever you want.” They moved to the couch and Remmy sat, the cushions wheezing, his thighs and belly quivering. Brianna tucked the remainder of the cake into his pudgy hands. “Don’t worry about a mess. It’s your birthday. And there’s more where that came from.” She winked. “I just needed to keep this cake refrigerated because it’s fancy. There’s a whole sheet cake on top of the fridge that’s cheap and huge. Covered in icing. Perfect for munchies.”

Remmy could only feel a wave of relief at this news. There would be more cake. And after that, there’d still be more junk in the cabinets. There was pizza coming. His high was just right. Brianna turned on the television to his favorite show and he settled further back into the cushions, feeling his second chin swell out and engulf his first. Everything was just right. He was lucky to have Brianna and food. So much food.

A year later, around the same time, Remmy skipped his usual trip to see his relatives for the holidays. At 520 pounds, it was simply too much effort to move.

*

Thank you to the reader who commissioned this work!

I'd love to write more. Check me out <3 etsy.com/shop/Chubbology