#is shipping THREE dorks

[dukeyeatsdeodorant]

Janus: Having two partners is both amazing and complicated. But all our problems are solved with communication.

Patton: It’s my turn to cuddle Roman.

Janus: FIVE MORE MINUTES DAMMIT!

[genderless-npc]

sometimes i forget that in canon, the three caballeros aren't a poly couple and it always gives me whiplash. wdym those 3 silly birds who have such a strong bond and are so extremely caring with eachother aren't madly in love. wdym panchito and josé do not come up with the most cheesiest petnames just to see how flustered donald can get. how are you gonna tell me those lovebirds don't snuggle everynight while sleeping in a bed that hardly fits the 3 of them. that panchito does not wake up first and kisses josé and donald's foreheads before leaving their warm ( yet uncomfortable ) bed. that donald does not carry a picture of panchito and josé with him on his wallet and whenever he misses them too much, he pulls out the picture to kiss it. you're gonna look at me and say josé would not sometimes purposely let himself fall behind chito and donald while the 3 of them walk around together just to take a better looks at his lovers. you CAN'T do that. they're call the three GAY caballeros for a reason,y'know.

[imperial-topaz2003]

Some OT3 ramblings

Artek and Theron's relationship was a 'first time' for both of them. Theron, it was his first time with another man, which ties into my "Theron is bi, leaning towards women" sexuality headcanon. Haven't decided if he's had casual sex with men before or not, but in my headcanon, Artek was the first man that Theron got serious with. For Artek, it was his first time being genuinely in love with someone (he'd been with Ranna and Kira before, but that was more him thinking with the other head lol).

Artek actually did have a brief fling with Kira in Chapter 1 of the Knight storyline. They were pretty playful and flirtatious with each other, but Artek did promise to Orgus he wouldn't be romantically involved with anyone anymore, after he revealed his relationship with Ranna. It really ate him up inside, especially after Orgus died. That caused him to break off their relationship and keep it platonic. It wasn't until KOTXX where they realized just how much they missed each other and eventually got back together.

Haven't fleshed it out yet, but Kira and Theron did start working together a bit during KOTFE's timeskip. Both of them were able to bond over shared experiences and how much they missed Artek. While they might've thought about getting together, nothing came of it until Artek came back into the picture.

Artek is the tallest of the three (tho with Theron, it's only by like an inch or two), and the most muscular (he's more just ripped or 'average' rather than full on beefy). He's capable of carrying both Kira and Theron, sometimes both at the same time, and they absolutely love it. There's also quite a bit of muscle play involved when they get frisky.

Each of them has a favorite PDA type. Artek really loves giving Kira and Theron hugs from behind or massaging their shoulders. Theron just really loves hand holding both his partners at the same time. Kira most commonly gives her boyfriends kisses on the cheek.

Their sleeping situation is...a bit of a pain. It does not matter what position Artek falls asleep in. Eventually, he's gonna end up completely sprawled out over someone and waking him up is borderline impossible. Theron is a big blanket hog himself, so you better hope it's not too cold. And Kira stays up way too late. You're lucky if she hits the sack by 3 AM.

[lovely-blue-galaxy]

@insertsickusername13​ ‘s prompt for some time ago, I think it was something along the lines of “Christine and Jeremy at prom with Christine in a beautiful dress and Jeremy in hawaiian shirt”

[pierswife]

I make ship content for the first time in a hot minute and it's a shitpost--

[ct-hardcase]

missing the phase 1 wave 1/2 polyam firebrand vibes today especially

[lovelytsunoda]

dim the lights (close your eyes) // arthur leclerc

summary: arthur leclerc is the only man she would ever trust to touch her this way. the only man she would want to take her virginity.

pairing: arthur leclerc x female reader

warnings: smut, loss of virginity, a hell of a lot of feelings, lots of giggles. had no idea how to end it, but it is what it is.

prompts used: i don’t wanna stop touching you.�� i just wanna be near you and close to you in any way i can + breathe baby, breathe. I’m right here

"arthur, i'm ready."

she'd said that three weeks ago, and they had both been preparing for this moment ever since. makeout sessions had gotten more intense, hands experimentally traveling under clothes. arthur had even tried fingering her a few times to make sure she knew what she was getting into, that she was prepared for how it would feel.

and mostly because he was scared. nervous about being his beloveds first. because if he messed this up, he could lose her for good.

the only reason she had waited this long was because she had never met the right man. hell, she was twenty one and her first real boyfriend had been arthur. sure, there had been crushes and meaningless kisses and sheer terror at the idea of being in a relationship, but arthur made her feel safe, like a warm hug on a cold day. his presence was comforting, and she never felt like she had to be someone she wasn’t around him.

after a night out of the town that made her feel like the best version of herself, like she was walking on a cloud (as spending time with the youngest leclerc brother always did), they found themselves back at arthurs flat.

he carried her up the stairs, ever the gentleman, hand over her eyes as he pushed the bedroom door open tho his toes.

“i want to show you something.” he says softly, asking her to keep her eyes closed while he shuts the door, switching on the fairy lights, reaching for the bag of fake flower petals. “okay, open your eyes.”

“oh, arthur.” she said softly, breath catching in her throat as she placed her hands over her heart. “it’s beautiful.”

a trail of fake petals lead from where she was standing to the bed, where even more dotted the simple white duvet, a towel elephant resting on the corner, like the towel animals on a cruise ship. the room was illuminated with soft, warm fairy lights. with a goofy grin on his face, arthur came towards her, reaching into the graft bag to throw more petals in the air.

she laughed, pulling him in for a gentle kiss as he dropped flower petals in her hair.

“wait, you haven’t seen the best part.” the boy laughs, reaching for the stereo remote. with the press of a button, heart’s ‘what about love’ begins to play softly. “damn it.” he mutters. “this was supposed to be a relaxing and easy listening playlist.”

“arthur,” she giggled, prying the remote from his hand. “it’s perfect.” she pressed up on her toes, arms around his shoulders as she kissed him, breathing in the smell of his cologne, the feel of his linens shirt under her fingers.

she sat down on the end of the bed, slipping out of her high heels and dropping her purse on the floor. she leaned back against the bed, fake rose petals sticking to her skin as arthur lay on his side next to her, warm hands caressing her skin.

“hi.” she said softly, fingers tracing her jaw as she propped up on an elbow to meet his gaze.

arthur reached behind him, triumphantly holding up the towel elephant and waving one of its small arms. “hi, darling.”

she laughed, throwing one of her legs over arthurs before she nuzzled up against him, pressing a kiss to his jaw. “you’re such a dork.”

“you love it.” he said before he kissed her, his lips soft against hers, the glittery lipgloss that had almost faded off her skin transferring onto his lips as he gently pressed her against the pillows.

she sighed in contentment as his hand slipped up her dress, resting reassuringly against her upper thigh. she cages his upper lip between both of hers, fingers cradling through his hair as she pressed herself closer to him. the shoulder strap of her dress slipped down her pale skin, bathed a heavenly shade of gold in the fairy lights. before she could get self-conscious and teach to right it, arthur took charge, pressing gentle, open-mouthed kisses to her skin.

“you’re so perfect. i don’t wanna stop touching you.  i just wanna be near you and close to you in any way i can.”

her heart swelled with love at hearing arthur’s words. this entire evening had been so surreal. she never thought she’d meet someone who made her feel the way that arthur leclerc could.

even now, he was so mindful of her boundaries, so cautious and careful with her heart as he presssed her into the mattress, fingers teasing the edge of her panties, but firmly staying there until she said otherwise, gave him permission to touch her like that.

for now, he was content with kissing her neck, his fingers on his free hand lacing with hers to cradle her her hand with the gentlest, sweetest of touches.

“arthur.” she whined, bucking her hips against his. “please…i need more.”

arthur slowed his movements, gently rolling them over so they were facing each other on their sides, one of her legs hiked over his hip. he kissed her softly, his tongue gently teasing her lips as he started to push her panties aside.

“just remember to breathe, beautiful. remember, this is nothing we haven’t already done before.”

“i know.” she sighed, biting her lips as his fingers began to circle where she needed him most. “i trust you. fully and completely.”

arthur sunk his fingers inside of her, peppering her face in kisses as he gave her time to adjust, her juices dripping down his fingers as he began to flex his slender fingers, scissoring them rapidly.

“oh, fuck, babe,” she whined, fingernails digging into his shirt as she bucked against his appendages. “feels so good.”

“yeah, you like having my fingers inside you, don’t you, cherie?”

“yes, god.” she moaned, burying her face in arthurs neck, fingers scratching down the bit of exposed chest peeking out from his button down. “i love your fingers.”

“good. the only purpose they serve is to make you feel good, love.” arthur smiled, dotting kisses over all the exposed skin he could reach.

he curled his fingers, fingertips touching her spongy center. she yelped at the pleasure, springing off the bed. they both burst out into a fit of giggles, arthurs fingers still working their magic.

“do you want to come of my fingers pretty girl, or are you ready to take my cock? you feel ready, but I am more than happy to lie here all night and finger you until you scream my name.” arthur chuckled, gently slipping his fingers out and sitting up on the bed, beginning to undo the buttons on his shirt.

she would never get tired of seeing her boyfriend without a shirt on: the muscles and veins popping in his arms, his broad, strong shoulders. his washboard abs that she intended to mark up with her nails before the night was over.

“im ready. i want your dick.”

laughing, arthur got up from the bed, shedding his shirt as his lover got to her feet, slipping out of her dress and allowing the white fabric to pool on the floor. he opened his bedside drawer to extract a box of condoms, his eyes wide ending in both adoration and lust as he looked back at his girlfriend.

“bebe, you look beautiful.”

her face blushed pink as she tried to make her bikini cut panties seem sexier, averting her gaze from arthur. “thank you. thank you for making me feel comfortable, and beautiful.”

arthru hummed, standing in front of her and tilting her head up to his. “you don’t need to thank me, gorgeous.” he kissed her softly, allowing her hands to travel the expanse of his exposed skin, nails scratching at his abs as he steered her back towards his bed. “i think this will go easier if you’re on top. that was you can set your own pace.”

she nodded, hands resting nervously near the waistband of arthurs pants. “okay. i can do that.”

he gently pushed her hands away, and she sat on the edge of the bed, one leg over the other in an attempt to hide the ever-growing damp spot on her panties. she swallowed harshly, feeling her nipples grow harder as she watched arthur undo his belt, dropping his jeans and his boxers in one fell swoop, his hard cock springing to attention now that it was free of its fabric confines.

he rolled the condom on, sitting at the head of the bed before beckoning his girlfriend over and helping her out of his panties, his eyes darkening at the sight of her now mostly naked body.

“there we go, just like that.” arthur encouraged, guiding her to straddle him, answering every question she asked and reassuring her that she would be perfect.

“so I just sit down like…this?” she asked, bracing her hands on arthurs shoulders as she tried to sink down on his length, arthurs gentle touch guiding her towards his cock. “oh my god.” she inhaled sharply, not even halfway on his dick before she froze, muscles tightening.

“hey, hey, it’s okay.” arthur soothed, gently kissing her breastbone, fingers tracing reassuring circles on her skin. “it’s okay, just breathe. i can stay like this for a minute, you don’t have to take it all at once.”

she nodded, breathing heavily as she brushed her hair behind her ears, resting her hands on either side of arthurs neck, resting for a moment before sinking down further, her face contorted in a grimace as she allowed her boyfriend to bottom out inside her.

“breathe, baby. breathe. I’m right here, I’ve got you.” arthur hummed, kissing her softly. “we go at your pace. nice and easy.”

she moves slowly, gingerly, hands braced on her lovers shoulders as she starts to move her hips, rocking gently back and forth. keeping his touch gentle, looking out through hooded eyes, arthur gently began to guide her up and down, resisting the urge to thrust up into her when she moaned, fingernails clenching into his skin.

“fuck, i love those moans, princess. keep moaning for me, let me know how good you feel. or, let me know if you stop feeling good and we’ll take a break, okay?”

“yeah.” she nodded, picking up the pace of her movements, panting heavily as arthur tried not to let his eyes roll back in his skull, pressing his lips to hers to muffle his own moans of pleasure.

the real thing was so much better than his late night fantasies, and knowing that she trusted him this much added a whole new layer of intimacy to the scene, somehow managing to make it even more erotic. he feared he’d blow his load too soon, but would that really be such a bad thing right now? he’d almost certainly be hard again if she decided she wanted a round two, or if he buried his head between her thighs and tongue fucked her until she came undone on his face.

“fuck, arthur.” she moaned, her movements becoming slower, exhaustion seeping into her legs. “please, i need more. my legs can’t take this. can you take over?”

he kissed her hard, flipping their bodies over so he was on top, driving into her quickly, but trying to restrain himself, his fingers clutching the sheets to practice restraint.

they’d work up to the more adventurous, more erotic activities later. right now, it was back to basics as he tried to keep his speed steady, matching what they were moving at while she was on top of him.

“is this what you wanted, love? does this feel good?”

“yes, god, please,” she moaned, trying to hold his body closer. trying to get as physically close to him as she possibly could. “this is so good, arthur. so, so good.”

“perfect.” he smiled, leaning down to kiss her. “I love you.”

“i love you more.”

TAGS:

@magnummagnussen @httpiastri @clemswrld @oconso @libraryofloveletters @scuderiamh @sidcrosbyspuck @lorarri @love4lando

[heartfullofleeches]

New y/n idea! How about a darling streamer.... but make it galaxy? Like, their either human or alien, and their a known streamer all across the galaxy! Maybe good picks for their yandere being mono or titus since (from what I remember) their the only known yanderes in space.

Ah! Cutie Alien Darling that travels across the galaxy for new adventures, settling down on earth and starting a new life exploring the wonders the world has to offer - streaming their daily activities as a sort of video journal for themselves and anyone who's interested in their journey. Human Yan's just think they're selling a bit for the most part and it's the most adorable thing-

Mono comes across their blog and see a kindred soul as they left home for the same reasons as darling, and crushes on them hard for how their lights light up at every little thing. Speedruns their human body so they can attend conventions Darling ventures to as well and meet their idol in person. Darling would be so happy to meet another wandering soul and take them out to try their favorite foods, and show them their nick-nack collection. It takes all of Mono not to either propose on the spot or scoop them up and carry them back to their ship to explore the galaxy as the universe's power couple.

Alien would believe they're an alien 100% and sprints to any meet ups they have fully decked out in merch official or not if they haven't made any. Appoints themselves Alien Darling's guide to earth and takes them around the places they adore. Piggyback rides everywhere. Treats Alien Darling like absolute royalty and gushes like the dork he is about it's so great to finally have someone else like him on this hunk of dirt - but still keeps up the totally human act. It's also human custom to kiss your new guide and bodyguard with tongue so uh pucker up, please.

Titus watches their streams to find contestants for the arena, but falls for their bizarre, yet effective charms. Sends guards to monitor them from below while he spends weeks putting together the perfect outfit for his grand appearance. Gifts them the finest minerals from around the galaxy and offers to take them on a tour of the universe for their hand in marriage. Alien Darling gives him their favorite roll of holographic stickers and Titus moves the wedding to right then and there.

-

Alien Darling: Hey, guys! Welcome to day four of cataloging my rock collection from favorite to least favorite, and showing you my absolute favorites. There is no least favorite category because I love them all so I will be presenting them from A to Z by name. This one is Aaron-

Mono: [I thought I had full grasp of the concept of love before now..... It seems I was wrong.]

-

Alien: Hey! Did you know it's customary for humans to hold hands with new friends for a minimum of three hours?

Alien Darling: Oh! No, I didn't. [takes their hand] Thank you for telling me, friend :)

Alien, blushing feverishly: Never washing this hand again - Did you know we also touch lips and if anyone asks I am your boyfriend because I am a boy sometimes and we are friends.

-

Titus: For you, my dear. A necklace containing a vial of my blood - the most sought after prize in all the known universe. You are welcome.

Alien Darling: Thanks! Here's a candy necklace I bought earlier. I ate a few of them already, but it's still good-

Titus, internally: Heavens- I can't not fuck them.

[hotchtits]

go on bby. talk about hotch. as much as you want ill read it all

*kisses you on the mouth sloppy style*

How I feel about this character

AAARGSHHSIDK AA AAAJDJEJ AHHHDJSJSJ

uh i mean he’s cool i guess.

no all jokes aside there are very few characters that are doing it like him.

he’s the leader of one of the most elite teams in the FBI. he’s a wet cat. he’s the epitome of traditional heterosexuality. he’s a boy kisser. he’s cold and distant. he loves his team more than anything in the world. he’s the next best profiler after gideon. he’s a massive idiot and a dork who collects coins. he’s got the skill level of a sniper/marksman. he does most of his team's paperwork so they can focus in the field. he’s no nonsense and straight laced. he seriously considered using web shooters at the FBI. he frequently catches an attitude with his boss, bigoted cops, and generally people in higher positions of power than him (and they just kind of take it). he has enough connections to get the italian government to revoke diplomatic immunity of a vatican priest. he's on a first name basis with the attorney general. he's kind of (at first) an absent father. he's a single mother of 6. he killed a man with his bare hands. he's so unbelievably gentle. he’s a white guy in a basic ass suit. he serves unprecedented levels of cunt.

what i keep coming back to is how much he cares. he cares about victims, he cares about unsubs (the ones that had justifiable reasons for being the way they are), more than anything he cares about his team.

the lengths he goes to to protect them or even just let them know he's there for them. he doesn't raise his voice, even when he's furious and when they lash out at him, he just absorbs it. aaaaaaugh. even roy, who hates his guts, he still cares about and still tries to make nice with for the sake of his son still having a grandparent in his life.

long story short i love aaron hotchner for all of his fucked up ways, big wet eyes, and self sacrificing demeanor.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

am i insane for saying the whole team? poly bau has a special place in my heart. i think he should get to have several boyfriends and several girlfriends. and his boyfriends are boyfriends and his girlfriends are girlfriends and they're all just happy.

hotch x happiness thats actually my favorite ship.

i mainly go for hotchgan, though, they make me want to rip my hair out. their push and pull, their similarities, hotch's head vs morgan's heart. kill me please.

i feel like him and rossi couldve also had a thing back in the preshow days. they give The Subway by chappell roan when he comes back in season three there is nothing casual about them.

hotchley before the divorce was so sweet :( i have such mixed feelings though because i can see how both of them would be frustrated with the other.

john blackwolf gets to be here as a treat because i think they would be absolutely destroy a buddy cop comedy thats actually a slowburn enemies to lovers. im aware this is just the plot of The Tribe.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

jessica brooks. im being so serious she stepped up in a way that very few others did. her offering to look after jack after hailey dies, staying with him when hotch gets called away, defending him against roy. also their banter is wonderful they r sooo siblings to me.

him and garcia are a very close second. obviously her and morgan are It but we gotta start putting some respect on him and garcia because

“i know you see the best in people, and i’d never want you to change that”

and the way she stayed with him when he collapsed in s9 aaarggh.

also hotchniss but as a wlw/bisexual friendship. they both agree that hotch has awful taste in men and that emily is a useless lesbian.

My unpopular opinion about this character

i mentioned this in someone else’s ask about unpopular HCs but i dont think he’s this #daddydom character in bed that people write him as. (disclaimer, headcanons are headcanons and im not bashing them, this is just what i think)

i can see him being dominant in bed (tho im a sub!hotch truther) but i dont think he’d go in for sadism or degrading or anything like that. given his childhood abuse, i cant imagine he’d enjoy hitting his partner or making them cry (even if it is consensual). in the show, he's very overtly gentle, especially with the people he loves.

i also dont think he’d enjoy a big age gap relationship with a subordinate either (i also see this being floated around). my man is a stickler for the rules and if theres a fraternization policy, i doubt he’d break it. im aware i sound like a massive hypocrite bc i ship him w the team but im mainly talking about x reader pairings here.

i was actually gonna put a different headcanon here but i saw a stepdad!hotch x reader fic and i,,, just,,, no. again write whatever you want but he Would Not Fucking Do That lmao.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

PISSED BEYOND BELIEF WE NEVER GOT AN “AARON” EPISODE

i guess 100 was kind of in the same vein but Reid got both “Revelations” and “Spencer” so i think we deserved an “Aaron”

for the love of god expand on his backstory. he was sent off to boarding school, he was a lawyer, a federal prosecutor, he was on SWAT, he's an accomplished sniper, he was with the BAU for something like 8 years before the show started i think. where is he finding the time for this?

[holostarz]

my problem is i think most of p5s ships are cute and thats why i almost always am down for some form of polythieves

usually i just lump all the guys together cause all those ships are just so good to me??? and i mean like, every combination of them, even without ren. ill ship ryuji and yusuke. and i also love goro with either of them. ryugoro and akekita are so rare but theyre so nice?? they all just. clenches fists. theyre so good ot4 pegoryugorokita

goroann besties is real in my heart. also goroharu being like the Cursed besties ever in the end like. my god they have such a wack and unhinged platonic soulmates/kindred spirits potential. goromako rivals forever my guy they are so fucking funny. and ryukoto is kinda cute...

i think shumako is nice but its just not my cuppa tea. they are dear friends and i do love the image of ren and makoto being a bit rivalcoded and butting heads over phantom thievery and how to lead the team best. and goro is weirdly the one who can actually somehow stop arguments before they happen and get them to compromise.

makoto is NOT the mom friend okay she is the bossy and protective older sister friend. and she is smart and sensible but not immune to her friends infecting her with Stupid. ren is the mom friend. and the dad friend. best of both things. :)

ren: its hard raising 8 kids when youre in high school and an 18 y/o whos like if a divorced widow was a boy 😔 sojiro: what happened to your husband??? ren: he was lost at sea goro: ren, look at this dog i saw on my way here ren: i can still hear his voice

meanwhile i love futago half siblings headcanon. so while goro and makoto are a little more sibling rivalry coded, futaba is still goros actual gremlin sibling who will bully him to death. meanwhile, futaba is actually adoptive siblings with ren. these two are WAY more sibling coded than goro and futaba ever.

and when futaba starts trying to do similar Sibling dynamic things with goro. goro is like ??? "ren, futaba just came in here. stared at me. burped. and then left. what does this mean." and ren is like. "oh is there food? theyre probably telling you theres food and to come out if you want some. or if this is your first time seeing them today they could just be greeting you." and goro is like ????? but louder this time

i love shujin trio poly... and i default to them being the OG Cule. shuann? v cute love them. ryuann? also cute and honestly v funny of how messy i imagine their hookups being. like they keep breaking up and eventually finding their way back to each other. sometimes i see them as sibling coded, too, more than anything else. overall i just love these three together they are the tomodachis of all time they are partners for life

i also love ryuharu. and harukita (yuharu?) theyre really cute.... then theres good ol makoharu and annmako (makoann?) and i love them too... honestly love hifumi and makoto too?? i think they would be huge fucking dorks together... perhaps.... rivals, even?

goro and hifumi being friends... good shit. hifumi and yusuke being close friends? plz... and ren and hifumi are just. wahh i love them theyre so good. even futaba and hifumi could be cute, honestly.... wtf

and we cannot forget ANNSHIHO,,, forever. my GORLS.... lesbiabs of my heart.

anntaba is a rare one but theyre also v cute to me... and if they arent girlfriends i love the idea of futaba having a crush on her and then realizing those feelings are actually just Admiration and Gender envy. i also love the idea of morgana finding out his crush on ann is ALSO GENDER ENVY RELATED.... we love nonbiney morgana. hope is genderless

ren: my CAT IS TRANS!? NOT CLICKBAIT?

and makoto is always being an older sister to futaba. yutaba is nice, too. i honestly see futaba and yusuke being aspec and theyre platonic soulmates and in a qpp. and ofc sumitaba my beloved... i love sumitaba a lot

i adore ryusumi too like oh myg od,,.. wahh.... the sweeties. sumikita is so rare but like. i think they could be kinda cute too?? sumigoro is V platonic soulmates to me like my god theyre so. clenches fist. honestly whole royal trio tbh is just. "they can make each other worse" and each of them thinking "thank god im the normal one here" thats it thats the whole dynamic. and its so funny.

shusumi is cute too but honestly i think i prefer both ren and goro have somethin of a platonic soulmates or older sibling dynamic with sumire. they have adopted her okay. sumiann isnt one i see a lot either but they.... THEM.....

any mishima ship is super funny imo but like, theyre cute. love yuuki having a crush on ren but like. the game makes it near impossible for you to actually be fucking nice to him so i always get the vibe that ren would rather keep him at a distance, even tho they appreciate him and care about him.

its okay tho cause i say hes good friends with the OG trio + shiho and they vibe. yuuki crushing on goro, to his own horror? hilarious. and weirdly enough shiho and ren?? idk what their acronym is. but. oh my god. theyre actually weirdly cute? but i see them having disaster twins energy. theyre absolute menaces.

[catihere]

Moby Dick is one of the most brilliant pieces of literature out there and not for the reasons you think. Sure, it’s a great analysis on the state of the human ego in relationship with nature, but it’s also an absolutely hilarious piece from top to bottom. I mean:

•The kickstarter of the story is that, one day, Ishmael, a relatively ordinary man, gets frustrated with his life and the best solution he finds is to give up on everything and go whale hunting on a ship in the middle of nowhere. 100/100, what a fucking mood

•Ishmael is not even his name. If I remember correctly (I haven’t opened this book in three years), he picked his name himself and it means outcast, reject. Really now, why are no transmascs out there naming themselves Ishmael??

•He’s not even the main character but he’s the only one I care about

•This book probably INVENTED the “there was only one bed” trope. It introduced Queequeg by literally making him lie in the same hotel bed as Ishmael. Peak strangers to lovers if you ask me

•That’s not even it. Ishmael, uncomfortable at first, wakes up surprised by how well he slept. And in a later chapter, they are described to lie together as compared to a husband and wife.

•Also, Queequeg is an enormous Polinesian man with Māori tattoos on his face, who BY THE WAY collects human heads. Yeah, that gave Ishmael a very fun first impression of him

•The author breaks the narrative every few chapters to info dump us about whales (sometimes inaccurately, there was no Google in 1850 so I don’t blame him). Oh, yeah, because Herman Melville accidentally embarked on a whale hunting expedition for few years, so Moby Dick is inspired from his experience. But that’s a story for another time.

•My favorite info dump/conspiracy theory that he has is presented right at the start of the book. It’s about how different heroes of mythology and history, including Hercules and Saint George, might have been actually whale hunters. Ishmael is such a dork I can’t-

And these are only the things that I can say off the top of head, with a faint memory of the book from three years ago, when I binge read it in two days, so please feel free to add on. I fucking love Moby Dick go read it right now

[championfrolicfleece]

Pokemon Sword And Shield Postwick Shipping Incorrect Quotes Part1

Gloria: We have fun, don’t we, Hop?

Hop: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

Hop: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this.

Gloria: I literally said, “I have an idea,” and you just went along with it without question.

Hop: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?

Gloria: Aww-

Hop: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!

Gloria: Three words. Say them and I'm yours.

Hop: Three words.

Gloria: …

Gloria: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Hop's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out…

Gloria: So, what’s for dinner?

Hop, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

Hop: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Gloria: You and me!!!

Hop, tearing up: Okay.

Hop: Can you cut me some slack, Gloria? I’m sort of in love.

Gloria: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem.

Hop: I’m in love with you.

Gloria, blushing: Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

Hop: I have a new hoodie.

Gloria: Wrong. We have a new hoodie.

Hop: I truly go into househusband mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Gloria: This is a lie. I'm literally dating them. This is a lie. THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS?

Gloria: What? I'm not aggressive!

Hop: Last Tuesday, you bodied me to the floor and stole my wooloo slippers!

Gloria: Survival of the fittest, Hopsy, survival of the fittest!~

Hop: Being half asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest kinds of love in the world.

Gloria: Unless you're home alone.

Gloria: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Hop: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Gloria: But you’re always acting stupid?

Hop: … yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

Gloria: You are an absolute dork.

Hop, singing: Yeah, but I'm your dork!

Gloria, sighs: Yeah, you're my dork.

[joenhead]

im coming out as a polycule duck team truther!!! those silly three dorks r in love !!!! (do they have a ship name?). as such, i feel as though it is finally time to share my corny self indulgent au where sol and callie r two theater nerds who try out for every show and started dating after their first one together and calder is on the stage crew and its a really corny and silly thing of “can two actors and a stage hand REALLY be in LOVE?”

simply because i think its funny for all three of them to fully be subscribed to the taboos of dating in theater. like it gets REALLY DRAMATIC. calder doesnt entirely get it but everyone else acts like its rlly important so he goes along with it.

[beespaceprogram]

Band Shirt Couple Stickers!

Show off ur enjoyment of these small-scale-viral adorable dorks with a cool holo vinyl sticker!

I have fit two copies on each sheet for the same price the fulfillment company charges for one! Available in three sizes!

Shipped from the US with tracking! It costs a bit more than the ones I'm mailing myself, but it should be faster!

[silalcarin]

This happens if you send Rinoa with Selphie's team to the Galbadia Missile Base and, more specifically, she's in the third party member slot.

This is such a heart-wrenching scene. Seeing Rinoa think that Squall sent her to the Galbadia Missile Base because he hated her, right when she's starting to like him, is downright gut-wrenching.

But, that's precisely what makes Squall's relief (later on in Fisherman's Horizon) all the more heartwarming.

Especially since two of the three dialogue options he has with Rinoa afterwards make it clear that he does, in fact, care about her, long before their romance is in full bloom in Discs 3-4.

Here's the first dialogue option. He's oblivious to her feelings — which, if you think about it, is actually a stark contrast to how he's fully aware of how she feels about him (and how he's fully aware that everyone in the main party ships them together) outside of Galbadia Garden after he rescued her a second time.

Here's the second dialogue option. He's more straightforward, although he clearly hasn't come to terms with his own feelings yet. It does match with how worried he was about sending Selphie and her team to the Galbadia Missile Base, wondering if they were all right and if he was wrong to let them go, and wondering how her team felt about his party member choices. Personally, I think it's the best of the three options, in terms of progressing their relationship:

And, finally, here's the third dialogue option. He's not as straightforward here, compared to the second dialogue option, but notably, he stammers during his confession and even scratches his head. It's actually really adorable. He's acting like a nervous teenager talking to his crush — which is precisely what's happening here. It's also a good option in terms of progressing their relationship, and probably the more realistic one.

I swear, these two can be such dorks around each other in Disc 2, if the player chooses to let their relationship develop.

P.S. — I know that the pictures are from two different videos. Not a lot of walkthroughs on YouTube have Rinoa go with Selphie's team to the Galbadia Missile Base; most of them have her go with Squall's team to Balamb Garden.

Here are the two videos where I took these screenshots.

[shortfeather]

22 "…in a rush of adrenaline." with Zed/&Tango for the ask game iyw??

Sorry this is nearly three months later I had to give my writing muscles a break! But here they are... the dorks of all time...

(send me a ship and a number and i'll write a kiss)

“This is an insane way to start a season, Zed!”

Either Tango had a very impressive set of lungs—true, but perhaps not “bedrock to build height” true—or the voice in Zedaph’s head that sounded rather a lot like his best friend was speaking up. Either way, it wouldn’t be enough to dissuade him from attempting Caves and Cliffs. He’d already gotten all dressed up for it; it would be a crime to waste a costume this good! A crime, seriously.

“Ready?!” he shouted down the massive tower of scaffolding, as loud as he could. The sound didn’t echo; he was too high above the nearest surface for that.

There was no answer. Another point to the prior Tango being brain-Tango. Braingo? Sounded more like a game of some—

Oh. He’d apparently stepped off while lost in thought about Tango and brains, and now he was falling rapidly towards a hole that ran all the way down to bedrock, where his best friend was waiting with a water bucket.

The idea was simple: the ultimate trust fall tied into a rather impressive achievement. Who did Zedaph trust to do the clutch part of a water bucket clutch for him? Well, honestly, a few people. Impulse, definitely… Skizz if he was here… really, most of the Hermits, although everyone except perhaps Skizz would let him go splat a couple times first for comedic effect. But one person had been on Zedaph’s mind lately, to the point of distraction, as evidenced by him absentmindedly walking off his tower of scaffolding a few moments ago.

As the wind rushed around his ears (and face, and body in general), Zedaph considered Braingo, and then sans the brain bit. Tango had really been on his mind lately, which maybe wasn’t such a weird thing considering they were best friends, but Zed didn’t tend to focus like this. Sure, he had projects, and a season-long goal, but he tended to flit between tasks unless they were particular brain-teasers.

So maybe Tango was a brain-teaser, then. But how? After so long, Zedaph felt he had a pretty good handle on the guy. He was goofy, and liked to skirt the edge of immature jokes, and had big ideas with even bigger outcomes. Snarky, silly—oops, there went the trees, he was officially underground now—and he constantly sounded like he needed a cough drop. Yes, Zedaph knew him well, and yet he apparently didn’t know him enough.

Science time, then. What didn’t he know about Tango? What study could be conducted outside the area constrained by their friendship—

“Shit!”

Zed heard the yelp briefly, and then went splat, and woke up back in the forest. Ah, damn. That would be a long climb back up. 

“—pid idiot!” came Tango’s voice, very faintly, and very wetly. Zedaph slid out of the bed to peek into the hole to bedrock, and yep, there was Tango swimming up the waterfall with a frown. “You can’t just jump, you have to tell me when you’re going so I’m ready!”

“I did yell,” Zed called to him. “I just didn’t really consider the ramifications of you not being able to hear me.”

Tango paused, then swam harder, scowling even as his eyebrows danced in a way Zed knew meant he was trying desperately not to laugh. “Of course I couldn’t hear you! You were hundreds of blocks away from me!”

“Well, if it’s any consolation, you’re not the one who went splat.”

And then Tango was climbing out of the waterfall with Zed’s help, except he kept getting closer, his face in Zed’s, and oh! That was new! That was definitely something not in the usual friendship, which meant Zed needed to really pay attention—

“Oh man.” Tango abruptly broke the kiss, and Zed wrinkled his nose in annoyance. “Wait, no, Zed, I’m sorry—”

Zed flapped his hand to get him to shut up, and leaned in and kissed him again. Tango’s face was still wet from the waterfall, which was definitely skewing the data, but his lips were chapped and even at the very beginning of a new season he smelled like redstone. Despite the chill of being down by the void and then swimming over a hundred blocks upwards, he felt very warm, although that also may have been Braingo internally overheating Zed by making various screeching noises. Good kind of screeching, thankfully, because otherwise the kiss would have been really awkward.

“Zed.” Tango pulled away again, but not so far. “What’re you doing.”

“Kissing?” Tango raised an eyebrow, so Zedaph elaborated. “Studying the sensations, really. The you in my head seems very happy about it, so I’m trying to figure out why.”

Tango stared, which wasn’t unusual, and then burst into laughter. “Y’know what? Sure. I don’t know why I expected anything else.” He sat down on the bed, immediately soaking the blanket, and then made grabby hands towards Zedaph. “Come here and kiss me some more, then, we’ll see how happy other-me gets. And me-me, for good measure.”

And, well, he did have a world-spanning trust fall to complete, but he could wait a bit for some other science first.