#is she 5

[thatdeadaquarius]

Why is it when paimon says ‘it should be near by!’ the distance from it to us is the length of sumeru including the desert

Nothing Paimon has ever said to me has been helpful ever.

Omg, if u got isekaied/sagau? To Teyvat I genuinely wouldnt know how i would react to Paimon 💀

Bc on one hand, she rlly cares about the traveler and shes sweet + been there this whole time

But on the other 💀

Shes over here like, "lets explore this area later" bc its dangerous (ur in teyvat irl now so all the lands r made/arent virtually blocked anymore)

And im like "sucks for u ig" and i just duck and weave that fairy, im gonna spoil myself and go to natlan and fontaine

Just try and stop me Paimon 🥊

[ivyblooms]

The funniest homophobia I ever experienced was a Mormon lady at my work telling me she would accept me being gay because we have to get along as coworkers but I really should consider not being gay because gay people have sex like animals (especially gay men) and she just couldn't stop thinking about it and how gross we are. She started really getting distressed, near tears, and saying 'I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop." over and over and miming some kind of sex acts with her hands and I was like ?????? What is happening???? One of the other Mormon ladies had to come over and pat her on the back and help her sit down to help her calm down and our boss gave her the afternoon off due to being too upset to work.

[lazylittledragon]

some beach babes i started while i was on holiday <3

[tyrannosarahsrex8]

Welcome to the “whoops! I accidentally started got manipulated into starting the apocalypse!” Club. Members being Jonathan Sims and Mable Pines. They’re both ✨traumatised✨

Bonus comic

[goldrushzukka]

it's the final week of tracking for spotify wrapped everyone share ur predictions for ur top artist & song of the year!!!!!!

[xshinina]

*Married life playing in the background

This idea was probably funnier in my head

[axoqiii]

recent wildlife stuffs 🫥

[themeatiscatfood]

she was just a little silly

[pippindot]

She found a fork on our walk and we had to run all the way home about it

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[egophiliac]

since Eng is getting 7.5 soon(?), I felt motivated to go back to my Meleanor rig and make her a couple of lesson animations! ...except for alchemy, because the cauldron bubbles proved too hard to photoshop around, whoops.

maybe she just got lost on her way to the classroom...?

(credit: backgrounds are from the game, I just put her on top of 'em)

(aside from the backgrounds, this is not an edit, I drew her from scratch! please do not tag or treat as an edit!)

[roses-and-lightnings]

Shoutout to that time Alice Wu-Gulliver, a Fire Witch, one of the few coven members able to cast actual magic, woke up and chose to beat a Salemite with a fucking broomstick

[siliconcat]

endearing witch

[puppyeared]

renaissance dogys

characters belong to @canisalbus

[squidsmeister]

dungeon meshi is my favorite road-trip comedy film

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]