#is really a) often super informal and just people getting picked that the organiser wants to go

[dykegeology]

Stuff that's like 'we want to increase representation of women + people of colour in science' and it's like yay awesome so you're you're going to do stuff about systemic discrimination, and racist and misogynistic views about only white men being good at academic stuff right??? and they're like 'lol noooo we are just looking at doing more focus on scientific communication rather than maths and programming because everyone knows only white men can do those things, and women and people of colour hate data and love Community' and it's like wow what if I put 10000 funnelweb spiders in your house

[scriptstructure]

part 1 I have multiple alien planets, but the things is I want to to be similiar in earth as in 200 countries, 5000 ethnic groups, 6500 languages, varied climate/terrain/politics. Part of the story is still on earth and obviously as a whole, 99.9999% of stuff on earth isn't even getting used, but we know there is more and sometimes there are little hints. That is stuff we know from real life and generally doesn't need explanation. Example, a character says "We borrowed this from the Russians."

Part 2 Regardless of what is really important, what we know and doesn't need explanation is a lot because we figure readers generally understand--or they can google. Hell, there could even be lots of subtle culture references as well. Anyway, depending on the reader's knowledge, it can enhance the reader's understanding in various and subtle ways. But when I do things similiar in alien planets, it makes no sense and requires extra explanation to fill the details. So, basically useless.

Part 3 Thus it seems I'm unable to fully give the type of experience as when using earth as pretty much everything needs to be important to the story. Unless there's another way to do this so I can make my alien planets seem so much more than what's actually focused on without the needless exposition? It feels like at best I could try to mention a few things but it could never feel as vast as earth does. Perhaps maybe I just need numbers?

Reminder that if your question doesn’t fit in a single ask box, you should use /SUBMIT instead.

I have had a few questions in the past which are very similar to this one, [HERE] is about how to introduce invented elements of secondary worlds (stuff that doesn't exist in the real world but has been made up for the story), [HERE] is about how and why we might include extra details about the places that a character is visiting, [HERE] deals with establishing what a 'normal' day in an invented setting is like, and [HERE] is about ways of thinking about worldbuilding, and how much you need to know vs how much the characters know.

So it is a fairly common shortcut, in scifi writing, and scifi film writing in particular, to portray alien planets as kind of 'one thing' settings. Here is the desert planet, and there is the dessert planet, and over there is the Evil planet, and there's the cute jungle teddy bear planet moon. This can be useful if you're making a film or story where you just want the different worlds to work as shorthand for certain ideas 'shitty home world', 'the seat of democracy', 'the swamp where Yoda lives' etc.

But it is very simplistic, and obviously looking at Earth, as you've said, there's a vast array of different climates, cultures, people, languages etc. We do tend to simplify the way that we portray Earth in film and stories, as well--think about, say, Australia being largely signified by the Opera House/ Harbour Bridge, and the Outback™, or the UK being Big Ben and the houses of parliament, or the USA being a vast stretch of corn fields between New York and Hollywood.

So how do we effectively give the sense of a world being bigger than the particular spot that we happen to find ourselves in?

First off, you need to have background information about the world that you're building. If you know what the major cities are, what the main continents are, if your alien world has countries, or if it has a singular centralised system of government--or is it divided into city states? or is it divided into time zones? or is it divided into... etc

Think about how your characters conceptualise their world, and their place in it. Do they think about the world, with all its variety, as a single vibrant whole? Or do they think of 'us on this continent, and them over on that continent'?

How does trade work on this world? Do they have extensive trade networks among the various cities/ countries/ regions? Or do they rely on off-world suppliers for various things?

What kind of cultural exchange is common among these different areas, and what are the cultural touchstones that your characters might be familiar with, or interact with on a daily basis?

As with the examples I gave in the first linked post above, it is less about providing the readers with an exact view of how the politics and interactions of the various places function, and more about demonstrating what that means in practice for the characters.

Say there's a certain kind of fruit that is PROTAGONIST's mother's favourite, and she spends all day searching the hypermarket for one to surprise her mother with for her birthday, but turns out there's none of that fruit available because it's all from OTHER REGION, and there's a war on, or a volcano has erupted and interrupted trade, or the shuttle crews are on strike and so the fruit can no longer be transported down from the moon.

If your protag's favourite pop group is from a polar region and only produces music six months out of the year, because the other six months they have to work with their community to produce supplies for the long dark winter, that tells us something about the way that polar community is organised, and how it interacts with the rest of the world.

What else can we think about when constructing alien planets/ secondary worlds?

It can be difficult to think 'outside the box' of the culture that we're immersed in. It's very easy to slip into thinking that we're doing things the 'correct' way, and if someone else somewhere else does stuff different, that's weird, wrong, or sinister. Often it can be just a different way of doing things that gives the solution that the person is after.

I think it can be very helpful to read books about ancient history, especially stuff about societies that no longer exist, because a lot of the assumptions that we make about the way the world currently works are less useful when we look at ancient history. There are some extremely varied ways of approaching society and culture and a whole lot of stuff which isn't immediately obvious, but which we can understand by looking at the vast differences between ancient societies.

Well written history books can really help you get the sense of how societies form, and how culture develops, and some of the forces involved in cross cultural relations. Also, there are some great examples from the ancient world, of, for example, the various different Ancient Greek societies, and how each of them thought of themselves as 'doing culture the best', of their neighbouring hellenistic states of 'doing culture not quite as well' and of everyone who didn't speak greek properly as barbaric outsiders.

At the moment I'm reading Philip and Alexander: Kings and Conquerors by Adrian Goldsworthy, and I think one of the things that has struck me as super interesting is the difference between how the Greeks vs the Persians organised their societies, and the way that they thought about and approached warfare.

So what are the basic questions we're working with?

-What is the protagonist/ focalising character's relationship to the world? Were they born on-world? Are they adult settlers? Are they traders passing through? Has the character travelled to other places on the world, or have they mostly stayed in their home city/ area?

-How do the protag/ focalising characters think of the other places in the world that they are not currently visiting? (ie, I am in Sydney, Australia, what do I think of Boston, USA, or Paris, France? Big cities with a Reputation, I probably know something about. Small towns or cities I may or may not be familiar with, depending on my life experience or interests)

-How do the material goods which are needed for daily life pass around the world? Are certain goods only available from certain areas? Are there Events happening which may disrupt supply routes? Are there cultural elements which may cause friction in trade?

-What kinds of cultural export or exchange happen on this world? Is there a particular city which is well known for its entertainment production? (Hollywood, California--movies, New York City--the print publishing industry) Does this mean that portrayals of the rest of the world are skewed by the perspectives of that place? (Remember, Australia is just a bridge, an opera house, and red dirt!)

There's always going to be a gap between what your characters know, or are aware of, and what is 'actually' happening in the world of your story, but as long as you have the information decided, and can write the world consistently and with sensory and suggestive details, the reader can and will pick up the puzzle pieces and fit them together.

It's a complex problem, but it's one that can produce interesting complex settings.

I hope this helps!

[makaojr]

Tips and tricks for travelling in Africa. Ultimate guide

written by Makaojr

April 14, 2019

You’ve finally taken the plunge and booked that ticket for an epic African adventure, you’ve planned a rough itinerary, picked your safari, and soon you’ll be on your way – hooray!

From the incredible natural environment to the rich cultural history, the friendly locals to the vibrant markets, Africa has everything, sometimes all at once. There’s just something about this fascinating continent that pulls you in and keeps you wanting to return over and over again. But there’s no denying that it can also be a daunting place to travel for even the hardiest of explorers!

We recently spent 4 months travelling through southern and central Africa, and we compiled all the things we either learnt along the way (through misfortune or trial and error!), or wish we’d known before we left for you, so you can focus on having the stress-free African adventure of your dreams!

How to speak the language

If you’re worried you’re going to get stuck at the airport in Tanzania forever because you can’t direct your taxi driver in fluent swahili, stay calm.

You’ll be mighty relieved to discover that despite the 1,500-2,000 local languages spoken in Africa, English is actually an official language in many countries (along with German or French in a few countries!).

Don’t miss out by being lazy and relying solely on English though; learn some key phrases. The locals will appreciate it and you’ll have a much richer experience for it – like the time a friendly Malawian fruit stall owner threw in a few extra pieces because we attempted our best Chichewa with him!

What the locals are like

Forget what you’ve seen in the movies; collectively, Africans are some of the friendliest people on the planet. It’s common to be greeted with a huge smile and hello, and most are keen to learn your name, where you’re from and why you’re visiting.

You’ll probably encounter the phrase ‘Mzungu’ being thrown your way – often by locals smiling as they wave out of car windows or pass you on the street. The literal translation from Swahili is ‘person who wanders without purpose’, though these days it’s used to describe any white foreigner. It’s mostly said in a friendly, joking way – so try not to take offence.

It’s also important to remember that Africa as a whole is very religious (Christianity and Islam are widely practiced) and quite conservative so be respectful of this in your speech and dress.

How to avoid border hassles

Unfortunately corrupt border processes are one aspect of African travel that can be seriously frustrating for travellers.

Most of the time you’ll pass with no issue, other times you may have to wait hours for your passport to be processed without explanation, or be asked to pay a corrupt official a bribe. Then there are the touts offering to exchange your money at rates that are totally ridiculous, or trying to sell you anything from bangles to samosas (side note: always buy the samosas, guys).

Thankfully, we managed to make it through eight different border controls with minimal hassle, and you can too, by following these tips:

Be informed: Know your visa requirements before visiting any country in Africa. Get in touch with your local embassy before travelling, or pay a visit to Project Visa for answers to all your visa-related questions.

Be organised: While you can get most visas at the individual points of entry, arranging them ahead of time saves a tonne of hassle (and sometimes, money!) later.

Be money smart: Always carry spare US dollars just in case. If you need to change money on the border, always know the exchange rate before you get there and bargain hard.

Be stubborn – if someone looks like they’re deliberately holding things up to make you pay to “rush it through” firmly (and politely!) ask to have your passport back. If you’re certain that your visa meets all the requirements but you’re being asked to pay more to get it approved, decline and ask to speak to another official.

Above all else: approach the process with a smile and have a laugh. It’s easier that way!

How to travel around

One of the best things about travelling in Africa is no matter where you are or where you want to go, getting from A-to-B is always possible. How you get from A-B however, is another story altogether.

Taxis, tuk tuks, mopeds, rickshaws, you name it… If it has wheels and appears capable of travelling some distance, you can probably travel on it. You might find yourself sitting on a flight or bus, crammed into a local mini bus with 25 other people (and the odd goat or chicken!), or hitching a ride in the back of a pick-up with half a village heading home from the markets.

For the record: travelling by mini-bus is an African rite of passage and we totally recommend embracing the uncomfortable seat and cramped conditions for this insight to how the locals live!

For a journey you can relax into, our tips are:

Always travel by day. Always.

Always wear your seatbelt

Don’t expect to leave or arrive on time – things run on Africa time here!

You may, or may not, get a seat. You may sit in the aisle of the bus for 5 hours with a chicken pecking at your head. Roll with it – it’s all part of the adventure!

For most mini bus journeys, you can negotiate your fare

Never pay a “bag storage fee” on large buses. It’s a scam – your ticket price includes your baggage.

Accommodation

From tailor-made luxury safari tents where you can live like Prince Harry, through to your standard backpacker dorms where snore-proof earplugs are a must – the options of where to lay your head in Africa are many and varied.

Many travellers actually choose to camp their way through Africa (we often did!), because the camping facilities are accessible, safe, full of good amenities, and super cheap. Plus, what better way to make new friends than by sitting round the campfire swapping stories about your day?!

Larger cities have all the usual accommodation options, the further into the countryside you venture, the less options are available. Don’t fear though, you’ll ALWAYS find somewhere to rest up after a hard day’s adventuring!

Things to consider:

Always book accommodation well in advance during peak season (May – October). Places like Namibia are extremely popular, with very limited accommodation in desert areas.

Use guide books, online reviews or local recommendations. Does it get good reviews?!

Does your accommodation have a safe, lockers or locks?

Is there a night watchman/security to make sure you and your belongings are safe overnight?

How to stay healthy

Medication & health: Check with your GP about what vaccinations and medication you’ll need before you depart.

Hot tip: Most countries require Yellow Fever vaccination proof just to enter the country.

We also packed the following to keep us fighting adventure-fit on the road:

Anti malarial medication

Antibiotics

Painkillers

Antihistamine

Iodine tablets

Hydrocortisone cream

Insect repellent: DEET is your new best friend!

* Sadly, though the lakes in Africa look inviting, many are home to a horrible parasite called Bilharzia. We’re not in the business of horror stories, so we’ll leave you to investigate the delights of that one yourself – but you DO NOT want to get it. Always check with locals before taking the plunge.

Water: There’s a pretty common misconception that there’s no clean drinking water in Africa, but we’re here to tell you it is possible to drink water straight from the tap in South Africa, Namibia, and parts of Zambia and Botswana. Head north and you’ll need to be cautious, but carry iodine tablets and you’ll be fine!

Food: All you really need to know is that food in Africa is delicious. It’s also mostly high quality – though perhaps avoid meat in remote areas due to a lack of proper refrigeration.

How to stay safe

We actually felt more safe in African countries than we did in other regions of the world we’ve visited. However, as always it pays to do your research before you go.

Keep the following in mind and you’ll have a stress-free trip!

Leave the flashy jewelry and designer labels at home – they’re not practical, and make you a target instantly.

Wear a money belt OR only take a day’s worth of cash out with you.

When taking money out at an ATM, be aware of your surroundings. If something seems suspicious, move along quickly.

We’re photographers, which means we always travel with big cameras and even bigger lenses. But you’d never know, because they’re safely locked away in our bags till needed. Don’t make yourself a target by waving yours around!

Don’t walk the streets at night by yourself, especially in larger cities or towns. If you’re out late, take a taxi or Uber, every time.

Pickpockets exist here as they do everywhere, so if you’re visiting markets, bazaars, train or bus stations be extra careful.

Going it alone

Africa is a wonderful place to travel solo. If you’re open, you can have wonderfully rich experiences while meeting incredible people. You’ll also find that it’s pretty safe – any dangers that exist for both males and females are pretty the same as anywhere else you’d travel to.

Where possible, follow these tips and you should have no issues:

Be cautious when travelling to remote regions

Don’t travel alone at night

Register your travel plans with your government

Keep in regular contact with members at home

Money matters

Africa isn’t a cheap holiday by any stretch – generally the daily costs for a traveller are much higher than in Asia or even South America.

Budget around $100USD per day per person for transport, accommodation and food. Safaris and adventure activities bump up the cost substantially, so you’ll need to allocate more for those.

There are 54 currencies in Africa, so things can get tricky if you’re travelling to multiple countries. Here are a few tips to handle it all:

Most southern African countries have ATM’s or credit card facilities. If not, it’s best to find a local bank and stock up on currency.

If you have a large amount of currency left over when leaving a country, exchange it at the border with a reputable source. Only in extreme circumstances should you use street vendors

Always hide at least $200 USD somewhere safe in case of emergencies

Credit card fraud is big time in Southern Africa, so be wary. We had our cards skimmed in South Africa and temporarily lost AUD$1500!

Tipping is generally expected, though it varies region to region

Staying scam-free

Our general rule of thumb is “if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is”; live by this in Africa and you should be okay.

Here’s what to avoid:

People offering a good or service (e.g. tour) for free, including tours, only to charge exorbitantly at the conclusion of the service

Fake products or tickets being sold at inflated prices

Payment for stored baggage on bus rides

Insisting on carrying baggage at airports or bus depots, then demanding a large ‘tip’

Over inflated taxi or bus rides – always agree on a price first!

People posing as refugees, students or orphans begging

Other ‘payments’ at border crossings, including health assessments or for bogus documents

Be mindful of resources

Electricity, or lack of it, is big issue in Africa. Many areas have it, yet over 600 million people still go without. As technology develops so does access, however if you are travelling, please take this into consideration. Switch those lights off and unplug your chargers!

We recommend carrying a worldwide travel adaptor and a solar charging device (not all rest camps will have consistent access to power!).

Same goes for water – Africa is a dry continent, and has long-suffered droughts. Short showers = benefit for all.

[positively-penguin]

Who I think would be in what role in a spy agency:

Cause I think it’s fun and I wanted to do it

To give some context, Karasuno is the code name of this special agents team.

Daichi: In charge, like he does the research, deals with HQ for them, organises missions, does the tactical planning, all that stuff. Not just because he’s the captain in canon though that does factor in. Like, he’s good at leading and stuff and I think he’d be quite suited for literally all the stuff I just listed. I think it just makes sense for him to be in charge though he’d be the type of leader who would also willingly go onto the field too and doesn’t distance himself from his team everything else. He’d also organise bonding activities for everyone to take part in too.

Suga: undercover agent. He’d be amazing at undercover work, like he’s charming and sweet and has this sort of aura that just makes you trust him. Best undercover agent. His role in the team is still similar to canon. Can be absolutely terrifying. He already can be in canon, it’s just multiplied by a dozen times and with guns and a whole bunch of other spy-y stuff here too. Don’t mess with him. Just don’t mess with him. He probably has best reputation though, like everyone underestimates him and boy are they in for a ride.

Asahi: Psychologist. Works as a therapist for his teammates too. He talks to everyone and tries to make sure that everyone’s doing alright and that their mental health is alright cause it can be quite scarring in their line of work sometimes so making sure that everyone is alright is important. On the offence side, he’s an excellent interrogator. Not in a sense that he can get information out but rather he can quite skilfully figure out how the other party thinks and can easily get into their shoes which makes him very useful too.

Kiyoko: Public affairs. Deals with the police, the various governments, diplomacy, everything along those lines. She’s good with words and people. She’s also a sort of hidden ace, they don’t usually send her to do the “messier” parts of the job but when they’re desperate, they can always rely on her to finish the job. Like, she’s an assassin. She’s quick, subtle, in and out before anyone even realises and incredibly smart and quick witted. Incredibly skilled at what she does too.

Nishinoya: Forgery and stuff like that. He forges any documents they may need, creates entire fake lives easily and he’s incredibly skilled and fast too. He’s just as reliable as he is in canon. As for backstory though, I can’t tell if I’d rather have him be a sort of criminal they picked up and convinced to join their cause, rather easily too, or if he’d just be this super chaotic person everyone was absolutely terrified of in the academy (training thing for the spy organisation) and no one really dared to partner up with. Also, pilot and driver.

Tanaka: Also getaway driver and pilot. Fast and furious style of driving. Also, guns and manpower. He’s a one man army, particularly skilled with going one against many and winning, relies mostly on firepower. Buddies with Noya way before they were both recruited onto Karasuno. I don’t have much else on him though if Noya was originally a criminal, then I’d say the main reason Noya is even currently on the team is because Tanaka recommended him.

Ennoshita: Does Daichi’s job with him, strategist, helps Kiyoko out, keeps everyone else under control. He’s a sort of jack of all trades kind of guy, incredibly versatile and is suited to any sort of job. He just helps patch up the holes in the team and helps to train the first years, as they’re dubbed.

Kageyama: way too talented for someone so new, amazing marksman, to the point where it’s honestly unbelievable. He’s their shooter, while Tanaka goes in guns blazing, ready to openly take on anything, he’s more subtle. He shoots from a distance with deadly accuracy, taking out anything that needs to be taken out. He has no regrets either and never hesitates.

Hinata: Intel gatherer, undercover agent too. He’s open and friendly and can easily talk to anyone and get them to open up to him. It’s amazing how easily he makes allies and the vast amount of connections he has to so many people, some way more powerful than you’d think and he’s amazing at what he does. Frequently underestimated though. Was the one to knock Kageyama off his high horse.

Yamaguchi: Engineer, incredibly smart but doesn’t give himself enough credit. He’s the creator of most of the team’s weaponry and technology. For anyone who has watched Agents of Shield, he’s sorta like Fitz. He’s not great on the field but he’s working hard and he’s trying his best to become someone who can go out onto the field to help protect the people he cares about too.

Tsukishima: hacker, amazing with computers and technology. He’s rather up to date on all the latest technology and has really high standards when it comes to such things. Him and Yamaguchi work together to help the creation of new tech and such. He goes out onto the field fairly often and knows how to handle himself. Well, he knows how to shoot a good bullet or two.

Yachi: provides support for those out on the field, she keeps a view on everything and watches her teammates backs. She usually does so from the ship. She helps out with strategies and diplomacy, similar to what Ennoshita, Daichi and Kiyoko do. Sometimes works as a decoy on field and she’ll will go in to provide a distraction to buy her teammates some time.

Yeah, and I’m done! This was fun, I’m thinking about creating other team versions of this, who knows. That or a full out AU around this. That’d be pretty cool. Either way, I might not end up letting go of this AU so soon but for now, that’s it. Thanks and have a nice day!

[blu-joons]

Taking Your Daughter To Visit The Boys At The Studio ~ Park Jimin

The two of you walked into the studio, your nervous daughter quivered behind Jimin’s legs, holding onto the material of his black trousers. The boys all smiled, kneeling to her height, but she stayed well hidden, looking to you to try and protect her from them all.

“It’s alright, go over and say hello,” you encouraged, taking her hands, unwrapping them from around Jimin, placing her in the direction of the boys. “I’m right here.”

“It’s so good to see you princess,” Yoongi smiled.

One by one they all pulled her into a timid hug, holding her fragile body against them closely. “Daddy tells us you’re going to have a dance with us today, how does that sound to you sweetie?”

“Uncle Hobi has created a super cool routine for us to teach you, all your friends at nursery will be so jealous of what a princess you are,” Taehyung added, sitting beside her, wrapping an arm around her.

She nodded, looking between the two of you for support. “We promise to give you such a good day, and you can spend some time with daddy too.”

“Yeah, daddy has really missed you,” Jimin smiled, kissing the top of her head, “both of you.”

Her shy nature often had Jimin’s back up, he worried about her, worried whether she’d make friends, be able to talk to people, at times she could barely talk to him.

“Why don’t we see if we can find a juice box for you, and then get started,” Jungkook chimed, taking one of her hands, and Jimin taking the other, heading down to the kitchen.

Namjoon stayed beside you, wrapping an arm around you. He knew just how hard it was on the two of you, he was the one Jimin turned to on tour when he struggled, when the two of you just needed a break, he’d be there to offer you both comfort and support.

He sat you down, resting a hand on your thigh, nudging you lightly. “She’s a good kid, I know that you both worry about her, but she’ll find her feet. It’s not easy growing up with a world-famous dad, all the attention, the missing days, she’s bound to struggle to adapt to what goes on around her.”

She skipped back in, sipping delicately on a straw, running straight over to you, wrapping an arm around your leg. “Uncle Tae found me juice,” she chimed, showing you the box.

“Well I hope you said thank you,” you responded, running your hands through her messy hair. The rest of the boys picked out the crash mats and soft toys, laying them around. “What have you got planned exactly?”

“Just a bit of fun, nothing you need to worry about Y/N.”

Jimin took her from you, whilst the boys laid out the floor. You couldn’t believe what they’d done, a small trampoline was brought out, balance beam and hula hoops for her to mess with. It seemed like the perfect chance to bring her out of her shell.

Perhaps, it could be the solution you’d been looking for.

Hobi demonstrated a small jump on the trampoline, much to her delight. She ran around, queuing between Jin and Namjoon, running up and bouncing in the air with a quiet squeak.

The noise made Jimin look to you, a wide smile on his face at the noise escaping from her. He walked over to you, wrapping his arm tightly around your waist making you giggle.

“Do you hear that from her?” He asked. 

“Of course.”

You watched gleefully as she ran around and leaped once more, throwing her arms in the air as Yoongi stood catching her with a loud laugh.

The boys had been worried about her too, they knew being Jimin’s child she was bound to have some quiet days, but they never imagined she would be this shy. It bothered them all, they just wanted to make sure was alright and comfortable around them.

“I think this is really good for her, she can’t help but get excited with all of this,” he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to the side of your head.

“When you said you had a routine organised, this isn’t what I imagined.”

Little did you know, the boys had been planning something for quite some time, each of them loved moving around freely, it was what made them their happiest, so it was at least worth a try with your little one too.

You’d never seen her so excitable, tugging at the boys to help her try out little tricks, using their strong arms to flip her over the trampoline and walk along the balance beam they’d put out. It was no quick fix, but to see her so thrilled brought a smile to your face.

“It was Hobi’s idea, just prove to her that the boys are there for her,” he informed you.

If she didn’t know that now then she never would, the boys adored her, having her around to entertain them made the hard days just a little bit easier.  

Eventually, the time came for the boys to do some actual work, as they walked around panting for breath having been given the run around by your daughter. All of them were exhausted, finding quick drinks and snacks to fill themselves up on.

“I’m not ready to stop yet,” your daughter complained, bouncing on the trampoline alone to try and capture the attention of the boys.

“Why don’t you carry on bouncing whilst we work?” Namjoon suggested, turning to the two of you, “it won’t do her any harm, she won’t be in our way at least.”

Taehyung took her trampoline over to the corner, whilst the rest of the boys moved aside the rest of the equipment to make room for them. Seeing her so happy and confident was something they didn’t want to end just yet.

“Are you guys sure this is alright?” You asked, looking amongst the group.

“Of course, look at her smile Y/N, we can’t take that away,” Jin assured you, resting a hand on your shoulder.

You didn’t know how you got so lucky to have so many incredible influences for your daughter, but she was always going to be thankful for them in her life.

“If she gets in your way, just give me a shout and we can head home, I know it’s probably not ideal for you to have her around.”

Jimin’s head shook, pressing a kiss to your cheek. He knew how beneficial this was for her, seeing her in her element, enjoying herself, living without fear of being around anyone else was exactly what she needed.

He looked over, smiling across at her. “I don’t think any of us would want to disturb her now, she’ll stay out of trouble, she always does.”

“It’s a miracle how sometimes growing up around you lot,” you joked, running your hand softly through his hair. “You’re all too good to us.”

“We do it because we adore all of you,��� Hobi interjected, giving you a soft hug. “You two are the best parents in the world for her to have.”

The studio was settled back to how it once was, with the exception of the small trampoline, the squeaky springs were enough to remind anyone that she was most definitely in the room.

“Right! Shall we get started?”

“Let’s get it!”

---

Masterlist

[lululawrence]

lululawrence’s Fics Posted in 2019

Master Fic Masterpost / Buy me a Coffee?

2019 was a bit crazy, but I’m so proud of the fics that I’ve been able to write and publish this year! There were quite a few of them, so here they are in order of when they were published. I hope you enjoy!

Hey Look, Ma (9k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

“I’m so sorry,” a deep voice said.

Louis made sure he’d only dropped his hat, reached down to pick it up, and was dusting it off when he finally looked up.

“It’s alright...mate…” Louis had seen this man before. He was gorgeous. He lived somewhere in the area, because Louis would often pass him on the street heading home from the tube or the nearest bus stop.

And now, here he was. Standing in all his fluffy, curly haired glory in front of Louis, apologising for nearly bowling him over.

“I really am sorry, though. Let me get you a coffee to make up for it?”

Or the one where Louis is a hybrid who agrees to go on a blind date with his neighbour's colleague's son the same night he literally runs into his dream man. Surely this isn't going to end well... or is it?

Charisma (5k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Harry was smiling, and maybe blushing a little as well, as he accepted the phone back. “Thank you,” he glanced down at his phone and then said, “Louis.”

Smiling happily at the way Harry had said his name, Louis watched him leave the room. The further away he got, the more confused Louis was. Yes, Harry was gorgeous, but how the hell had he forgotten that Harry was also the man who had caused him to almost have a major accident earlier because of his haphazard driving? How had he allowed Harry to distract him with his charm to the extent that instead of giving the man a lecture, Louis accepted the offer of a date?

Well. Whatever the reason was, Louis wouldn’t forget when Harry called. Louis would give him a piece of his mind then and see if Harry still wanted to go out with him at that point. Because yeah, Louis was not mad enough about his overreaction to Harry, both on the road and at the event tonight, to turn that opportunity for a date down. He wasn’t stupid.

Or the one where Harry feeds on awesomeness (possibly literally). Louis is awesome and also angry. They’re probably going to fall in love.

Drabbles for Harry's Birthday Drive 2019 (25k) - Various Pairings

Each chapter is a different drabble dedicated to a person who donated to Harry's birthday drive! The prompt requested as well as the pairing are in the author’s note for each chapter as well. There are multiple pairings due to various pairings being requested by the donors, so please pay attention to that information in each chapter! Pairings include Harry/Louis, Zayn/Liam,, Grimmy/Louis, Greg/Louis,  Zayn/Louis, and Niall/Shawn.

It’s the Climb (25k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Louis stretched out his back and turned around, startled to see the most beautiful man he’d ever encountered in his life riding towards him on a horse.

He had to still be asleep. This was one of those super weird dreams people had where the knight in shining armor (or in this case, red sleeveless flannel) literally rode up to them calling their name.

The Hannah Montana AU where Louis is a world famous punk rock singer with a stage name of William and Jay drags him back to Tennessee for the summer. In her attempt for Louis to get back to his roots, he just so happens to reconnect with Harry, and things never go quite as Louis expects them to.

It Was Only a Kiss (16k) - Various Pairings

I participated in a kiss prompt drabble challenge on Tumblr, and ended up writing thirty-three drabbles! Because of the amount all for one challenge, I decided to post them on AO3 to save them. Each prompt exists on its own without relation to others, so pick and choose as you like.

If You Want To Be Loved (0.5k) - Greg James/Louis Tomlinson

Greg can't sleep. For once, he doesn't really mind.

(Something’s Been) Hiding In My Heart (26k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

“My eyes must be deceiving me,” Harry said in his slow drawl. His voice was deeper than Louis remembered. Maybe some things had changed after all.

“They aren’t deceiving you. I’m here because I need you to finally sign these papers,” Louis said before he dropped the stack of paper on the hood of the car and held out a pen to Harry. “Just do it, Harry. Get it over with and then I’ll be out of your life forever, alright?”

Face blank of all emotion outside of a sneer Harry said, “You’ve gotta be shitting me.”

“God,” Louis groaned. Harry just couldn’t let this be easy. His pride wouldn’t allow it. “You know, I never really understood that phrase, but no. I am not ‘shitting’ you. Just sign the damn papers.”

“Ya know, I don’t think I will,” Harry said before turning back to the front door.

When the screen door slammed behind him, Louis realized Harry didn’t have anything else to say.

Or a Sweet Home Alabama AU where Louis comes home to finally get his divorce from Harry finalized so he can move on with his life. Alderford holds its own set of challenges when he returns, but by facing his past maybe he can find the healing he so desperately needs.

You Try To Be Everything (I Need) (36k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Wars, and rumours of wars, were nothing new for the world in the twenty-fourth century. The fighting had evolved over the years, and rarely did it involve traditional weapons. A group most widely known as the Southern Powers gained strength amongst portions of the western European continent and spread quickly.

There was a fight the Southern Powers didn’t expect coming from the north of England, though. Resistance came in the form of an organised underground; a group comprised of people with the Touch that did the best they could to enforce a line that would not be crossed. Slowly, that line was moved from the Channel to boundaries further and further north. It seemed only a matter of time before the Southern Powers took over everywhere.

Until that time, people did the best they could to live their lives in some semblance of normality. For Louis Tomlinson, that sense of normality was about to change when his best friend, Harry Styles, goes missing.

Louis embarks on the journey of a lifetime where he uses his newly developed abilities to search for his friend, even when it takes him to places he never thought he would see while surmounting trials he never could have imagined.

You Turned Up (Like a Friend of Mine) (10k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Louis padded downstairs, feeling incredibly thirsty. He filled up a glass of water and was about to take a drink when a loud knock sounded at the door accompanied by some yelling and ringing of the doorbell.

“What the hell?” Louis muttered, setting his glass on the counter and rushing towards the door.

As he got closer to the door, though, his mind stopped whirling because the voice was one that was etched forever in his mind, but one that he never thought he would ever hear again.

“Why’s the door locked? Did you seriously go without me? And who’s car is in the driveway? Lou, I knew you’d be late to get me. We’re going to miss-”

Louis whipped the door open, sure that he was just imagining things. There was no way…

Except there was. Standing on the front step was the curly haired, boy-faced Harry Louis had last seen ten years ago today.

Or the one where Harry disappears on graduation day only to show up on Louis' door looking exactly the same ten years later. Through a series of strange events, maybe they can finally figure out that they're destined to be together, no matter what.

Stealing Flowers (4k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

When Louis finally arrived, he walked in and grabbed an apron. Without even saying hello, he immediately approached Jesy and said, “Sexy Stranger steals flowers.”

She kept pouring the Tanqueray shots she had lined up in front of her, but her face screwed up in confusion. “I’m sorry, he what? Did you finally talk to him and that was what you learned?”

He nodded to another couple of tourists and welcomed them to the Way Station as they eagerly made their way to the Tardis restroom.

“No, I didn’t actually talk to him, but—”

“Then how do you know he steals flowers?”

She was wiping down the bar and stacking the empty glasses to take back to the dishwasher when Louis realized maybe he should help too. After all, he was there to work, not just talk to her about his maybe crush.

“I saw a poster.”

Or the one where Louis pines after the Sexy Stranger on the Subway and almost asks him out. That's when the strange posters start showing up around Brooklyn.

Yellow, Is It Me You’re Looking For? (3k) - Greg James/Louis Tomlinson

Standing in the mess Greg’s shift had left behind, Louis decided he would start small. He’d organise the paint colour cards that displayed the names and then get started on the sample tins. It wasn’t until he started opening the boxes of colour cards that Louis started to wonder whether Nick had been the one to name the paint after all.

Yellow, Is It Me You’re Looking For? was along the top left corner of a mustard yellow card. Nick was as big a fan of puns and music as anyone, so while it was unorthodox, Louis didn’t think too much of it. Part of the appeal of Annie’s Hardware was that they didn’t take things too seriously while always maintaining professionalism.

The names that followed did leave Louis to wonder if Annie knew exactly what the chosen paint names were, though. The Colour Of My Tears When ‘FRIENDS’ Ended for a soft white, Barneys Blood for a pale purple, and Blond. James Blond. for a sand tone had Louis convinced that it was a different co-worker who had renamed the colours.

Or the one where Louis has pined after Greg for what seems like ages, but when Greg renames the company's paint colors, something might finally be ready to give.

Like a Lighthouse On The Coast (I Need You) (19k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Louis placed his order with the server and was about to type up some possible lyrics when he heard the music being piped in go silent and a throat was cleared into a mic.

Oh God no. If Louis had known there was going to be live music, he would have chosen somewhere else. Why did they have to ruin what was truly the perfect ambiance for Louis with some sub-par wannabe singer-songwriter?

“Hello, I’m going to sing some songs for you tonight. I hope you like them.”

The voice was deep and smooth, slower than Louis had expected. It made him want to look up at the singer rather than cower into the corner of his booth.

So he did. The man didn’t look nervous at all, but he didn’t look like the cocky asshole Louis had been expecting either. Louis continued to brace himself as he took in the simple Ramones shirt and jeans the man was wearing, when something Louis hadn’t been expecting happened.

The man began to play his guitar, and he was good.

And then, the man began to sing.

Or the one where Louis has all the pressure of his sophomore album and none of the inspiration, but maybe all he needs is someone like Harry Styles to turn all that around.

Oh Honey, Honey (4k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Louis hated honey. He didn’t like the flavour, he didn’t understand why some liked it in their tea, he hated when it was put on sandwiches or cake or anything really. But, standing stock still in front of a rather large display of honey in that 24-hour Tesco, Louis found himself grabbing the largest jar of “100% pure London-local honey” and adding it to his trolley, simply because he knew it would make Harry smile.

Louis always wanted to make Harry smile.

Or the one where Louis pines after Harry, Harry is passionate about helping save the bees, and a late night shopping trip gone wrong doesn't end quite as horribly as Louis imagines.

You Don’t Care About Me (One More Night) (60k) - Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson

“Nick. You’re into guys. What should I do?”

Nick snorted. “You think just ‘cause I’m gay, I know what you should do?”

Louis blinked at him and Nick admired his eyelashes against his will. “Well. Kind of, yeah.”

“That is not how this works,” Nick said. “Besides, it’s not like you can just go and suck someone’s dick to be sure you like it the way I did. You’re too famous to try it my way.”

Louis’ expression changed to one of awe. “That’s how you figured it out? You sucked some random’s dick?”

Nick shrugged. “Yeah. Basically. I mean, I knew for pretty damn sure before that, mind you, but that did solidify the matter for me.”

“I need to suck a dick,” Louis said, turning to look at the wall of Nick’s room.

“You could suck mine, if it would help,” Nick offered before he could stop himself.

Or the one where Louis pines for Harry and Nick helps ease his way into figuring himself out through a friends with benefits sort of arrangement. Things quickly turn complicated.

A Taste of Honey (3k) - Greg James/Louis Tomlinson

Louis opened the door expecting someone with Deliveroo. Instead his gaze lifted so he could look at a very frazzled, incredibly fluffy haired Greg James who was inexplicably holding out a very large jar of honey.

“Hello, Gregory,” Louis said slowly.

Shifting around, Greg stepped forward and held the honey out towards Louis again. “This is for you.”

“Erm, alright,” Louis said before carefully taking the heavy jar from him. “Thank you?”

Greg flashed a wide grin, nodded, and then without another word walked back out the front door of the building.

Or the one where Louis has been pining after Greg ever since he started his job. Greg randomly showing up at his flat with a jar of honey might be just the push Louis needs to finally talk to the man.

Just Like Honey (3k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Louis opened the door and he looked so soft and beautiful. He was in a ratty pair of grey joggers and that was it. Harry had never seen him look so good.

When Harry finally raised his eyes from Louis’ chest, he realised Louis had likely said something.

“Uh,” Harry said, clearing his throat. “Sorry, what did you say?”

Smirking a little, Louis crossed his arms and popped his hip. “I said, ‘Hello, Harry. What brings you here so late on a Saturday?’”

Then his brain kicked in.

“Right, fuck. Hi, Louis. I just wanted to give you this.”

Louis’ brows creased as Harry held the honey out to him. Taking the jar from Harry, he said, “Honey?”

Nodding, Harry said, “Yep. Hope you have a great night!”

Fisting his hands at his sides in frustration, Harry left the building as quickly as he could.

Honey, Honey, How You Thrill Me (3k) - Greg James/Harry Styles

Harry knocked once more before coming to the conclusion that knocking for longer than that was rude.

He’d just decided to leave when the door opened.

“Fuck, you were asleep, weren’t you?”

“Well, it’s past 8, so yeah, basically,” Greg said with a yawn.

God, he’d been asleep for over an hour. Harry was the worst.

“I’m so sorry. Here. Take this and get back to sleep. I’m so incredibly sorry for waking you up,” Harry babbled, shoving the jar of honey into Greg’s hands.

Greg looked at the jar then back up at Harry, still not saying anything. Probably because his brain was still asleep just like his body would’ve been if Harry hadn’t been a fucking idiot.

“Sorry again!” Harry said before giving a lame wave and rushing off to the nearest tube station.

Or the one where Harry pines after fellow Radio 1 DJ Greg James but doesn't know how to start a conversation with him...until he gets the needed inspiration.

Our Love is Timeless (6k) - Niall Horan/Shawn Mendes

He rinsed out his shampoo and began to scrub at his body. Turning around to rinse his back and wash his front, Shawn was not prepared to be met with a cursing blond Irishman.

Letting out a rather loud, high pitched scream and covering himself as best he could, Shawn backed up into the wall behind him, which also turned off the shower.

“Thanks, mate. Was hoping not to get my clothes entirely soaked,” the man said as he began stepping out of the shower stall. “Say, what year is it?”

“I...what?” Shawn sputtered. “You just show up, fully clothed, in a stranger’s shower and your first question is what year it is? How the fuck did you get in here? Why my shower? Who are you?”

“Well, yeah. I guess so. I’ve not quite got a handle of the whole time traveling thing yet.”

Or the one where Shawn falls for Niall, who just happens to be a time traveler. The course of true love never did run smooth.

Like Honey to the Bee (3k) - Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson

Nick didn’t even remember knocking, but suddenly the door he also didn’t realise he was leaning on opened and he started falling inside Louis and Harry’s flat.

“Fuck,” Nick blurted as he tried to right himself. He was caught by Louis, which was great because he was exactly who he wanted to see and he didn’t really fancy dropping a massive jar of honey on his doorstep.

“Nicholas?” Louis asked.

Nick couldn’t help it. Hearing Louis call him by his full name made him shiver. He usually hated it, but there was something magical about Louis Tomlinson that made the usual negative association suddenly become an incredibly positive one.

“I brought you honey,” Nick blurted as he handed Louis the jar.

“I can see that,” Louis said, sounding confused. “Thanks?”

“Of course! It’s what friends do, yeah?”

Or the one where Nick has been trying to find a way to get past the banter stage with Louis for ages, and honey might be just what he needs to finally do so.

Rings and Things (2k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Niall: I know you’re a lesbian and all, but this is fast even for you

Or the one where Harry wakes up after a night of drinking to find her bed isn't empty and there's a ring she's never seen before on a very important finger.

The Only Thing That Keeps Me Grounded (28k) - Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

“Shit, I definitely missed the last train.”

“Oh no,” Louis lamented. “I’d offer a ride, but I’m part of a carpool and we’re full already. I’m so sorry.”

“Really, it’s fine.” Then, what Louis said sank in. “Wait, I thought you were here alone?”

“Oh, I am. I’m the only one dancing here tonight. The others were working. In fact, here’s Nick now.”

It felt like slow motion as a tall, lanky man with incredible hair came walking over towards Louis. He smiled before pulling Louis into him and giving him a quick kiss.

“Nick, this is my new friend Harry. He just moved to the area and he’s amazing at swing. Harry, this is my husband, Nick.”

Fuck.

Or the one where Harry moves to Washington DC to be a nanny and never expects that his past struggles with love will be brought to a head. He definitely never expects the solution to it all will be the man of his dreams that just so happens to be married to the other man of his dreams.

A Halloween M(ass)hap (1k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Harry was never going to forgive Niall. He’d been so distracted by his roommate’s cleaning and fussing while he had been looking for the perfect trousers for Liam’s annual Halloween fancy dress party that he’d not realised the black leather trousers he’d chosen to complete his vampire look were arseless.

Of course there was a no return policy, so he’d done the only thing he could do in order to not waste the money he’d already forked out online for the damn things: he added a cape.

Surely, nothing could go wrong.

I Wanna Love (Like You Made Me Feel) (28k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

By the time Harry and Louis are eighteen years old, they've known each other all four years of high school. Through those years, they never have a real chance to spend time together just the two of them. The summer after graduation gives them that chance, and it changes just about everything.

Ten years later, Louis returns home feeling like a failure after losing his job and not knowing where to go next. He never expects to run into Harry again, much less rekindle their friendship. Could this finally be their chance to finish what they started all those years ago, or did they really miss their chance at love?

Swipe Right for a Clean Flat (3k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Harry was done. He was over this shit. He literally only asked his flatmate to do one chore, and that was the washing up. He couldn’t even handle a few plates and cups. Harry obviously overestimated him.

Louis wasn’t that bad. It was just that he only did the washing if he was going out to pull and wanted to bring someone home. If the dishes were put away, that was how Harry knew to vacate the premises. There was no way he was going to listen to yet another girl moan Louis’ name while Harry laid in bed and wondered what it might be like if only Louis liked men.

Glaring at the full sink and debating washing up himself - again - Harry finally turned and stalked to his room.

“Dire circumstances,” Harry muttered as he picked up his phone and unlocked it.

Or the one where Harry and Louis are flatmates and Harry is tired of Louis not doing the washing up. He figures signing up on Tinder as a hot girl might be just the fix for this issue.

You’re a Nightmare, I’m a Disaster (7k) - Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson

As Nick scanned the shelves, his eyes caught on a bright blue binding. Snooki, it read, A Shore Thing.

“Oh my God,” Nick mumbled, trying not to laugh as he picked it up. He’d watched bits and pieces of Jersey Shore way back in the day.

Without bothering to look any further around the store, he headed up to the counter where Blue eyes was watching him. Nick cleared his throat nervously and set the book on the counter and the man immediately flashed him a look of disdain.

“Seriously? Out of everything we have available, you chose the book we special ordered for a customer?”

“Well, it can’t be that bad if someone specifically requested it, right?” Nick said, trying to keep a teasing tone.

“Why do you think we still have it if it was a special order?” the man asked with a scoff. “They returned it after reading something like three pages.”

Nick frowned at the book. “Well that doesn’t seem very fair.”

Or the one where Nick is a writer, Louis works in a bookshop, and things don't exactly start off on the right foot, but they might just end on it.

The Goat Guy of Bethlehem (26k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

“What a pretty little thing!” a voice cried, catching Harry's attention.

Harry looked up, assuming it was a merchant talking to Gemma or some other “citizen” of Bethlehem, but when he did, he found a woman with bright eyes and long dark hair walking over to him.

“Me?” He wasn’t sure what to expect from any of this since she wasn’t a merchant he had met before.

“Yes, you! I think you’d make a very good husband for my son. Are these your parents?”

“Uh, yes?” Harry said, almost like a question. Robin and his mom just watched on with amusement, much to his chagrin.

Turning to Anne and Robin, the merchant woman said, “I’ll give you six goats for the marriage of your son to mine.”

Or every year, Harry and his family attend a church festival called Bethlehem. Harry's freshman year of high school Bethlehem expands, bringing in new vendors, including one that just might change everything for Harry. But first, he has to see if Anne and Robin are willing to part with him for the price of a few goats.

[spideyscnse]

hey, i saw u were taking requests and i really love your writing!! could u possibly do something where reader is a nerd and she works at a bookstore and peter comes in?? idk where to go from there but i’d like it to be super fluffy and cute if u like :))) thank u so much x

a/n: hi! aw, i’m so flattered that you love my writing! i’m so so sorry for taking so long, but i was so excited by this idea when i saw it because it’s so cute! to make up for it i wrote 3k words and made it extra cute :) hope you enjoy

*

sci-fi

pairing: peter parker x booknerd!reader

word count: 3k

warnings: none :) just super cute fluff and pureness

summary: y/n is so much of a book lover that the moment she hit fifteen, she applied for a job at her favourite, local bookstore. one day, a boy called peter parker shows up at the store.

note: please don’t plagiarise my work!

masterlist

* 

You had your earbuds in as you left the school through the back gate—the gate that would take the least amount of time to get to the bookstore. You had work today, and it was why Tuesdays and Thursdays were your favourite days of the week.

Your school was a small one, almost adjacent to the prestigious Midtown High, where all of the smart kids went. You went to a girl’s private school opposite to it, and while you liked her school well enough, you sometimes wished that you’d applied to Midtown instead. Just because it seemed so much bigger and fun. Maybe it was just you, though.

The store was a fifteen-minute walk away, and you managed to get through four songs on your way there.

Pulling out your earbuds and switching off your music, you pushed the door open with a soft tinkle and made your way into the store. The relaxing smell of worn pages and coffee greeted you instantly, and just at the scent, you felt yourself calm, because it was such a homely feeling for you.This was where you were when you weren’t at school or at home, and it had been your place to go since you were very little.

“Good afternoon, Jane,” You called out to the manager, who sat at the checkout desk, and the kind lady gave you a warm smile, like she did every time she saw you.

“Hey, Y/N,” She responded, glancing up from the tablet she was scrolling through, no doubt checking through book orders, “You got here quickly, today.”

You chuckled, “Oh, yeah, I saw on Instagram that the next book in my favourite series got released yesterday and I rushed here as soon as I could.”

“Alright,” Jane said with an amused, affectionate look in her eyes, “Well, go get changed into your uniform and then you can go find that book you want.”

Eagerly, you nodded and headed to the back room to drop off your bag and change out of your school’s uniform—a white blouse and dark green skirt. The school logo was embroidered over the chest pocket of the shirt, and a silver and green tie hung from around your neck, tucked neatly under the collar.

Quickly, you pulled out your work clothes, which were far more comfortable—Jane was pretty loose on the dress code, so long as you wore the lanyard and name badge. So, today you’d opted to bring a grey sweatshirt and leggings, which would be cosy enough for you to walk between the shelves and look for people who needed help—also, for you to find that book you needed.Once you’d folded up your school uniform and slipped it neatly into your bag, you stepped out into the store again, greeted by the smell again, that you’d never get tired of.You headed to the YA aisle, the one where you knew your book would be, and you spotted it immediately—it was sitting gloriously on the new releases table, and you quickly snatched up a copy, flipping through it and letting out a satisfied sigh. You resisted the urge to just start reading it then and there, reminding yourself that you were at work and there were customers all around you. So, instead you slipped it into the front pocket of your sweatshirt, making a mental note to pay for it when you left.

Despite your efforts to focus, though, the thoughts of that one book remained swirling in your mind. This made it very difficult to maintain a calm tone of voice when people asked you for help finding things, just because on the inside, you were far too excited.

But you still went about your job like you always would—calmly, kindly, and patiently. Even with the people who complained to you about the prices, or tried to haggle you for a deal, no doubt thinking you’d give it to them, since you were young and looked it, too.

You were sorting through a massive stack of books that had arrived the day before, unboxing each, marking them down and then ordering them alphabetically on the new shelves, when somebody tapped you on the shoulder and made you jump…probably more dramatically than you needed to.

You dropped the two books that were in your hands at the time, and yelped, “I’m sorry! What did you need—?”

Your sentence was cut off as you caught sight of the boy’s face, and the words evaporated from your tongue. He had curly, chocolate-brown hair and warm, wide eyes that were currently filled with concern and shock…at your surprise, probably.

But he was extraordinarily pretty, and you found yourself looking away, leaning down to pick up the books you’d dropped. You cleared your throat, “I’m sorry, what did you need help with?”

“Uhh,” He seemed to be almost at a lost for words as he glanced at you, suddenly nervous, “I was looking for some books for my science project? I wasn’t sure where I should start…”

You smiled, and he blushed, and you gestured for him to follow you. It was rare that a high school kid came in looking for books about science—didn’t most people just find things online nowadays for school assignments?—nevertheless, you decided this boy was far too precious to just refer him to online.Especially not when this bookstore had such a great range of science books; while you loved your fiction, the science was your second favourite.

As you approached the wall, even the boy seemed to be kind of in a sense of awe. You began to talk, hiding your amusement at his amazement. “This is the science wall! It’s my second favourite section, and it’s got basically everything.” You pointed to the said areas as you explained, “They’re organised by subtopics, so you’ve got bio here, and then physics, chem, and so on.”

“What would you recommend for a physics assignment?”

You gave him a curious look, “Well, the ones with the green spines are really detailed,” you started, even though you weren’t quite sure exactly what he was looking for. “If you’re into more basic stuff, the ones on the very left of the shelf, and the more complex stuff is to the right.”

He was quiet for a long moment after you finished. You weren’t sure if he was soaking up the information or just blanked out. Regardless, it left you standing there half-smiling, basking in the awkwardness.It was almost twenty seconds later that the boy seemed to remember that you were waiting for his response, and he immediately flushed, “I’m so sorry, thanks for taking me here—um, sorry, I didn’t get your name…”

“It’s Y/N,” You responded, pointing at the name tag that was pinned onto your lanyard, “And yours?”

“Peter,” He responded shyly, running a hand nervously through his curls, “What school do you go to? I don’t think I’ve seen you around on campus.”

“I go to Y/S/N,” You explained, sheepish, even though you weren’t sure why you were so nervous, and why your palms were sweating, “It’s a girls’ private school, which is probably why you don’t see me at school.” You laughed off your nerves, even though you felt heat begin to crawl through your cheeks.

Peter seemed to deflate a bit, the smile fading from his eyes, “Well, then, I won’t be able to see you. I was hoping you went to my school…”

“Guess you’ll have to come ‘round to the bookstore more often, then,” You said teasingly, “To get your books for your smart-kid assignments. Assessments are mostly over now anyway—except for at Midtown, I hear. Is that where you go?”

He nodded in answer, giving a small smile, even as his eyes turned and became glued to the books on the shelves. He scanned through the titles and asked absently, “What gave it away?”

“You’re looking for science books, Peter,” You said with a small giggle, “Isn’t Midtown a STEM school? I just assumed.”

“Y/N!” Jane called from the front of the shop, and you immediately perked up, your conversation interrupted.Peter sighed, even though he diligently kept the kind smile on his lips, “Well, I guess duty calls, huh?”

You nodded, pressing your lips into a taut smile, a bit disappointed as well, that you had to go now. “I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“You bet you will,” He said, giving a grin, “I’ll be sure to come whenever I can to get your expertise on science-y books for my smart-kid assignments.”

You almost choked on a laugh as you tried to swallow it, “Good luck with your assessment! And the science books!”

***

Peter kept true to his word.

That boy seemed to make it his mission to show up every day, and talk to you all about your recommendations and his science assignments. Not that you minded—it was kind of cute, what with how enthusiastic he got when he was rambling.

Today, though, Peter was late. School ended two hours ago, and still. No sign of him. Usually he would’ve been here almost at the same time as you, since he’d taken to doing all of his homework in the shop.

Despite how hard you tried to not let it distract you, you really couldn’t help the glances you kept throwing over your shoulder at the door, to check for any sign of him. To be honest, you weren’t quite sure why you anticipated his arrival so much, seeing as he probably had his own work to do, but still…You did your job fine; you made sure to put all of the new arrivals in alphabetical order and unbox all of the stock for the week, but even Jane noticed that you weren’t as focused as usual. And from the knowing gleam in her eyes, she knew exactly why you looked so much more worried and tense than usual.

“Y/N, are you waiting for that brown-haired boy?” She called out, her chin leaning on her palm and looking quite amused.

You fumbled with the stack of books you were holding and said, suddenly flustered, “No, no I’m not,” You denied, even though your words were broken by a nervous stutter.Internally, you swore in frustration at yourself because why were you suddenly so nervous? Jane hadn’t even said anything, really, but—

“Then why do you keep looking out the window? I know that the boy comes every time that you’re here. We all fall in love at some point,” Jane said, her tone turning into a teasing one.

Fall in love?

“Oh, I’m not in love with him—I’m just—I just,” You stammered feebly, “I just like looking at the window display.”

Jane hummed, finally turning her gaze away to return to clicking away at her computer, probably filing in orders. “Sure thing.” Even though her stare had shifted from you, her knowing smile hadn’t faded and you bit your lip in embarrassment before returning to sorting the books.

You weren’t in love with Peter, you barely even knew him! It wasn’t like that—

“Sorry I’m late!”

And yet at the first sound of his voice you stopped everything that you were doing and spun around so fast your hair gave you whiplash.

“Y/N!” He called, his hair mussed by the wind, eyes wide. He was holding his bag, seeming to still be stuffing something into the back pocket of it, and he seemed extremely puffed.

“Peter,” You said, furrowing your brows, “You didn’t have to rush. If you were busy you could’ve just sent me a text.”

As if by instinct he reached into his back pocket for his phone as you mentioned texting, and he pulled it out as he responded, “I’m sorry, something came up that I had to take care of. It’s all good now, though! What new books arrived this week?”

Even though internally, you were still concerned for his well-being, since he looked so genuinely out-of-breath, but the fact that he’d rushed over to talk to you today was kind of…touching. Cute.

You brushed those thoughts away, though, effectively stopping the blush you felt beginning to form on the apples of your cheeks, “We got lots of fiction this week, actually. There’s some sci-fi I think you would like. Is your assignment finished now?”

Peter rubbed his neck almost shyly, “Oh, yeah, it was due today, actually. Thanks for all your help, I think I did better than usual.”

“It’s nothing,” You replied, giving him a smile, quickly turning to finish sorting out the last couple books, and then leading him to the fiction section. He eagerly followed.

“Do you read fiction much?” You decided to ask him, breaking the silence that had settled between the two of you.

“Sometimes,” He said, “I get pretty busy, though, so I don’t usually have a lot of time to read. I wish I did.”

You approached the fiction shelves and ran your hand over the spines, searching for the new arrivals you wanted to recommend to him, “Here,” You pulled the first out, then the second.

“These are really good, I read them yesterday,” You told him, passing the two to him, and he flipped through them curiously, “They’re about the stuff you’re into. Like, science-y, smart superhero, space-battle type stuff.”

His eyes lit up as he scanned through, murmuring absently, “I love that stuff! I can kinda relate to them.”

That piqued your curiosity, and you couldn’t stop yourself from asking, “What do you mean?”“Huh?”“What do you mean you can relate?”

Suddenly, Peter bit his lip and ran a hand nervously through his hair, “Oh, what, I said that? Uh, I just mean I relate to the struggles of the superheroes, you know? It’s kind of…inspirational.”

You considered his words, “You’re right. We do have a lot of superheroes around here, don’t we?” You chuckled a bit to yourself, averting your eyes because his gaze had become far too intense and focused for you to maintain the eye-contact whilst keeping your heart rate at a healthy pace.

“What do you think of them?” He asked, tucking the two books under his arm, seeming satisfied with your selection, “The superheroes, I mean.”

“They’re cool,” You said with a shrug, “They do cool things and they’re important. I kind of wanna be one,” You laughed lightly, “They actually make a difference, you know? I kind of just hang around here and just…” You trailed off, unsure of where you were going, but Peter seemed to understand.

Your eyes were fixated on your feet now, and you shifted on your feet when he didn’t say anything.Then, suddenly, he poked your cheek gently, making you look up at him, and then he said, “You don’t need to be a superhero to make a difference, Y/N.” He leaned in a bit closer and tilted your chin up with two fingers.

Oh gosh oh he was so close now you could see every shade in his eyes—

You hoped he couldn’t hear your heartbeat, but you swore you noted his ears tinge with pink ever so slightly as well when he whispered, “You’re pretty amazing already, I can tell you that.”

“I—Peter, I—,”

“Right,” Suddenly extremely shy, he quickly pulled away. Okay, his face was definitely burning bright red now, you were sure of it, “Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable—,”

“Peter,” You said softly, taking his hand gently in yours, “I wasn’t uncomfortable, I just…” You shook your head, “Never mind. But, thank you, Peter.”

“It’s just the truth,” He said, meeting your eyes with his own.

You weren’t sure what exactly gave you the confidence to do it, but with a light laugh you leant up on your toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek, “Thank you. You’re pretty amazing too, Peter.”He seemed to be at a loss for words. His cheeks were bright pink and his mouth opened and closed as he searched for the right thing to say. He looked so pretty.

“I-uh,” You bit your lip nervously—shyly, “Are you gonna get the books?”

That shook him out of his trance and he stammered, “Oh, yeah, I will, sorry—,”

“It’s okay,” You laughed, too giddy with the butterflies in your stomach to be nervous about what you’d just done anymore.

After he checked out, you said, “Call me and tell me what you think about those books, okay?”He left with a nod and a beaming smile, and Jane gave you that knowing look again.

“You just like looking at the window display, huh?” She said after the door shut behind him.You half-groaned, half-laughed as you shook your head and began heading back into the depths of the store to keep sorting the stock.

But you couldn’t help the grin of pure joy that formed on your lips the moment you were out of plain sight.

***

Tony didn’t usually pick Peter up, but today he’d been near the store anyway, so he offered to take him to the tower.The moment he got on the car, though, Tony noted his love-struck, dazed expression and said, “So, who’s the lucky person who’s snagged Peter Parker’s eye, huh?”He started up the car, which luckily pulled his gaze away from Peter, because the boy blushed furiously at Tony’s words.

“Uh, Mr. Stark, it’s nothing,” He said, shaking his head, “I just got some books that I like, that’s all—,” he pulled the two books he’d bought out of his bag, and Tony glanced at them.

“Since when did you read fiction?Peter fumbled for an excuse, “Uh, since today?”Tony scoffed in amusement, teasingly saying, “Must be some good books to have you looking so in love.”

Peter didn’t have any reply, or excuse, to respond with because he was really, really bad at lying and he knew that Tony already knew, anyway.“Yeah, they’re pretty amazing books,” He said instead.

Tony didn’t push any further, because it was just too cute.

He smiled fondly.

[stargir1z]

hello !! ik this may sound super vague but do you have any advice on where to start for understanding youself better / spirituality . ive been having a rough year kinda and realised how out of touch id become but idk where to start to pick up the pieces once again aaaa this might b a hard / heavy to answer q but i just thought ud be a good person to ask :P hope u have a good day angel

i really dont know why you selected me for this question considering i know next to nothing about real spiritual practice lmao.. but ill try my best <3

id say one of the most important things you can do is cultivate your environment to be both encouraging of self reflection as well as safe and homely. follow instagram/tumblr/etc pages that open up discussion of ideas you want to learn about or show aptitude at things you struggle with -- ranging from simple things like if you really value taking care of your hair follow someone with good hair, to something more emotional like someone who talks about their healthy relationships/friendships that might encourage you to implement their practices into your own social life, etc. also just cleanse cleanse cleanse! 1. get rid of all the clothes you like the IDEA of but actually hate WEARING (same thing with makeup and hair and etc products), 2. organise your google drive, bookshelf, photo album, basically any place you use to organise and keep track of information and learning tools... this will give you direction in the sense that by figuring out what you dont need, you can narrow down what you are drawn towards and what you might be emotionally and intellectually craving . 

same thing w ur friends. do ur close friends teach you anything about yourself?  do they encourage you to explore yourself, to try new things, to bring new ideas back to them so you can talk about it? if not -- if you feel like they hold u back growth wise or severely distract you from getting to know yourself -- then youre in a bit of a social stalemate and maybe it’s time to meet sum new people. u should always have friends that act as a sort of mirror to urself. through your similarities and differences with another, you are given a chance to widen your understanding of the human condition (and therefore ur compassion), take comfort in the connection between u and another, and use ur new understanding and relief for problem solving in your own life .

last thing ill say is write a lot. i struggle with this too and often feel that time passes by way too quickly as im absorbed in Going Through The Motions without any real meaning. a couple things that give me hope and definition in my life even if i dont have the energy for a whole diary entry are just noting down a beautiful/emotionally charged moment quickly in your notes app (like . i saw the stars ivery clearly n hk for the first time ever after 3 years of living here a couple days ago at 3 am when i was smokin on my balcony and i was absolutely amazed) or when you feel frustration, overwhelm, anger, or an indescribable sadness just have some sort of private story or notes app folder and start writing and trust me itll be hard to STOP. 

also take pictures of your friends. and yourself, and places you go. what do you feel when you look at them? what does the experience teach you, and what does the feeling of the experience captured teach you? and b grateful for that. i think just giving love is the fastest way to remind urself why u are here. get a gift for someone. write an email to an old mentor or a txt to a friend from years ago. try to always say happy birthday and when u have the energy, slide up on someones call of distress and give some words of care. the feeling of power found in touching someone else... i think that can center u and give dimension to your self perception, seeing urself outside of urself in the form of ur kindness . 

i hope this made sense! much kis n lov <3

[comicteaparty]

May 23rd-May 29th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from May 23rd, 2020 to May 29th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

If someone came to you for advice about starting their first comic, what would you tell them?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

The biggest hurdle I see beginner comic creators (including myself) struggling with is the fear to begin because they "aren't good enough yet." I would tell them to just start. The best way to learn how to make comics is to make comics. You can always go back and fix old pages. Or you don't even have to. The improvement throughout your work can be encouraging. So I say, just begin.(edited)

carcarchu

know your ending before you begin! so many webcomics start and then have no idea how to continue. at least have some kind of idea of the direction you want to go to and at least a basic outline before you begin. you can always change things but going in without a roadmap is a recipe for disaster

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I would tell them to consider a few things: your desired scope, your current skill levels, and how likely you are to still love the project months or years later. I didn’t start with a small scope, so I can’t tell people to keep it simple no matter what, but it absolutely helps. Doing a short 6-10 page comic as your first thing will totally tell you if this is something you like, or totally hate. Assessing your own skill level is hard, but I try and encourage people to practice anatomy and perspective and other skills before diving right into creating a massive world. I’d encourage them to practice some writing as well. But even the act of creating a comic can help with all that. So, YMMV! And you gotta love what you’re drawing! I didn’t feel comfortable creating a story until my late 20s because I felt I hadn’t settled on something I’d be indefinitely passionate about. My likes and dislikes were still changing so much. If you can look at your idea and pretty confidently say you want to draw this stuff over and over again for years... that’s a very good sign

eliushi [a winged tale]

I find my advice will vary depending on what their vision is for their comic! For instance, if it’s a short form, I would recommend looking at different styles and experimental storytelling to find ways to best explore their work. For a long form I would advise as y’all have done so as well: start and keep going to improve. Have an ending in mind. Know the basics of character/plot and storytelling; essentially if you know the rules then you are more easily able to break them in an informed way. Most importantly is to have fun drawing, have fun with friends, have fun sharing your work

I guess sort of as a follow up... did you all receive any advice before starting your comic?

carcarchu

i didn't ask anyone in particular but the advice i read before starting mirrored what has been said so far

the advice about just starting and not being afraid is probably what helped the most

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I was told to make my first comic shorter... but with the caveat that if I absolutely could not, it was okay to try a long-form one from the get-go

carcarchu

another thing that i often tell people looking to start is that comic making is actually a gigantic time sink and requires a LOT of discipline. a lot of people i talk to really don't realize how much of a time investment it is. i don't want to dissuade anyone by telling them this but it's important to realize

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I agree with lazuli! Right now I'm actually feeling more motivation for my long comic than my short story.( I will absolutely finish both though)(edited)

carcarchu

x2 agree with claire, i've realized i'm not good at short stories

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I've been asked this question before, about first comics. I always say the most important thing is to draw what you like, for yourself.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Short stories are hard! I’m often jealous of all the marvelous one-shot comics on twitter, telling an affecting story in such little time. I often wonder if my own stuff will ever be half as successful in the emotions department. Short stuff is easier to digest but requires a ton of skill to craft well.(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Absolutely. Two of my favorite comics are 3 pages and 5 pages long and years later I am still thinking about them.

I think it takes even more skill to craft a compelling story, world, and characters in only a few pages

It is witchcraft, I swear

carcarchu

there was a beautiful short story i read about a cat before, i'll see if i can find it and share it in recs

eliushi [a winged tale]

I think a lot about the unfinished comics! even though they aren’t finished, they still stay with me. Ultimately if you draw comics, it will touch people and people will remember

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I've always wanted to do a short story like that but am not a good enough writer yet unfortunately

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Also agree with @Eightfish (Puppeteer) - you must make something for yourself. You can try and tailor it to certain audiences, but don’t stray too much from your own sensibilities. Make a comic that speaks to your soul, and people will feel it.

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Pick something you love, you‘ll spent a lot of time on it.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

If you don't love it, who will?

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

And short stories are their own medium with their own rules, needs and patterns; they‘re not interchangable with longform and the otherway round.

That‘s what annoys me about the „start with 8-page shorts!“ advice. It‘ll teach you how to do shorts, not how to do long form. And I‘ve seen so many treating shorts as a stepping stone to „proper“ long-form comics, and that format deserves better.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I do see the merit in that though. There are a lot of unfinished long comics. If you have a good short story, might as well make it first. For me though, they are way harder than long stories.

I did give myself the option to end puppeteer after about 80 pages though

Luckily I fell in love with making it and won't be doing that now

But it was an option

Capitania do Azar

Yeah I'm gonna have to repeat the points already stated. Everytime I get the chance to give advice to a starter, I do focus on the discipline aspect. Webcomics (any comic actually) does take a lot of work and if you wanna make it in the long run you gotta know your pace and you gotta know where you wanna go so you can make the best use of your time

You don't need to have super solid plans but it's good if you know how much time it takes you to make one, five or twenty pages, so you can get organised

And at least in my experience being organised is one of the most important aspects

That, and liking what you do but also allowing it to change because things take time and you will change too

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

^^^I can't reiterate this last point enough

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

For sure cap! I spent a lot of time experimenting with art style before starting and I think choosing a simpler but still nice looking (to me) style has been vital for me being as consistent with my comic as I have

Having a schedule was really important to me starting out

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I think I would have said..... MAKE SURE YOU DRAW IN ADVANCE BEFORE POSTING.

I've made this mistake, and I know many people have made this mistake, but it's really easy to get stressed and demotivated when you realize that you might not be drawing as fast as you want...particularly if you're starting out.

So make sure you have buffers so that you can post those updates as consistently as you can.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I'd say for my past self that make sure you have.... at least almost everything ironed out for your story first if you want to make a long form comic as your first try because trust me if you don't, you'll end up redrawing the first chapter twice lmao. knowing how it begins and ends, knowing your drawing speed and also recognizing if you're just either motivated to work on it or you're doing it despite motivation. Because those are like the main factors that affect burn out and if you don't watch out, you'll get fucked over from it. have a good sense of your self in terms of your work ethic, and your writing. Art will be supplement for that writing but you're pretty good at least understanding the basics you should be aight Also if you don't feel doing your long story first, you can always make a short story to test waters. but if ya like me and rather just jump making a long ass comic first, go for it lmao

sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead)

I think the biggest advice I'd give would be is to accept what you've already done, kinda related to the "you're good enough to start" advice. A lot of webcomics stall out in the "gotta redraw this to be Good Enough" phase, and it's easy to get caught up in the cycle of redrawing early pages (especially once you get a few years into a comic), but learning to sit back and appreciate early pages for the stage you were when you drew them is important!

also something I don't hear creators talk a lot about, is having a support group. Getting positive responses from strangers from the internet is a rush, but it's not always going to happen, and relying on it isn't a great idea mental health wise. Having a group of friends you can bounce ideas off of and that can support you in your story helps make the lonely art of making comics a little less lonely. I wish I had known about this group sooner because it seems like a really great resource of creators coming together and being supportive!

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

oh yeah that last point especially

like honestly if I didn't met other webcomic creators I probably wouldn't be working in webcomics tbh

sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead)

It's so nice to have outside perspective both for art advice/critique stuff, but also just the general "hey guys drawing pages amiright"

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yeah lmao

sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead)

plus if/when you ever meet up with people at conventions, it's always so nice!

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Yeah, I would second that. Starting out I had a really hard time knowing how to take praise from my real world friends who are into my comic. It felt like maybe it wasn't real praise and they only like it because they liked me. But honestly the longer I make comics the more I just want my friends to like them and the less I care about what an internet stranger might think X'D Also, I watched the video on new creator tips that Joichi post in #writing_n_misc_resources last night before bed and those tips are super solid. I think folks have already hit on all of them but writing something you really like and is for you first and foremost and being being prepared for a lot of work are super important. Also, get that buffer!

kayotics

I think this was touched on already but having an idea you’re really passionate about, especially for a long form comic, is kind of essential to keep you going. You gotta keep up momentum for years, not just a few weeks. The thing that helped me, personally, was building my comic in a way that let me end it after the first story, but also let me continue if I liked it. My first chapter was definitely like a pilot for a tv show. If I didn’t want to continue, I’d just stop. But I ended up writing the second chapter before I knew it so I guess it worked out

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

I don't have too much new things to add but I agree that webcomics, is a lonesome job on your own. But once I started hanging around this discord, sharing frustrations, comic compliments. The support made a big difference, no longer having to shout in the abyss of Twitter to be heard. I know when you first start out, it's overwhelming. There's so many platforms, do I do color or grayscale? (as it felt that way for me.) The best is to begin small baby steps, write scripts. Draw thumbnails, talk about it with people you trust. Generate ideas and put them on paper. Something I learn, is finding a good group community who raise you up, than put your works down(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Seconding/thirding/etcing about support. Other than that, I really don't have a single advice that I could give to someone starting out. Because it would need to be tailored to their situation. Someone who's in my exact same situation back when I started my first webcomic? They don't need ANY advice honestly. They just need to do it (which they will anyway) and learn from the experience.

sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead)

https://tenor.com/view/doit-gif-5247874

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

(Again, I'm talking about a hypothetical person who's exactly like Younger Me. Not every beginner will "do it anyway.")

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

I corrected my definition, as I found out what the topic was about! I thought from everyone's comment, they felt like talking about internal feelings about community spirit.(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

I think that "just do it!!" Attitude is probably what I'll echo, it's what I'd have needed to hear and what I think there's probably the biggest hangup on. I think everyone tries to wait til they're ready, and it's like "you are gonna learn so much so fast and never stop learning once you start making your comic" so just, start learning now! Make changes later. You can't fix something that doesn't exist yet!

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

One thing I often think about is when artists completely relaunch their comics once they become a bit more intermediate in skill level. They've improved so much during the creation process that they feel a need to go back and totally start over. I've even run into some comics where they... almost seem in a constant state of relaunch I often wonder about how to encourage new artists to move forward instead of reiterating existing stuff. Or is the reiteration not necessarily a bad thing?

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I mean I guess it's not a bad thing if they're still having fun? Sometimes they're still having a blast; other times it's a form of torturous perfectionism.

Sometimes it's a bit of both, even

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah, I always frame it as "unless you are rewriting, don't redraw."

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I have seen a redrawn comic go well only once

Deo101 [Millennium]

Cause if it's just to fix your art but nothing is really fundamentally changing, then you'll get stuck in a loop I think

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

and that comic kept updating latest pages while redrawing the first ones

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I've seen people do that. Where it's not a rebooot that basically stays the same, just a revamp of old stuff.

I could see myself doing that eventually tbh.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

The guy had very messy art in the beginning. Not bad art, he just didn't put much effort into it. The comic just evolved into something way bigger and more professional than he'd expected so he went and made the first pages professional looking as well

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yup Cause conics make your art improve so fast, every 50 pages you'll feel like your first one has sooo much wrong with it! So you can't get stuck just remaking pages

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Deo I don't think your first pages are any impediment to new readers. I have noticed a ton of art evolution though :0

Deo101 [Millennium]

Unless, yeah, you are rewriting and need the content on the pages to be different.

Yeah they might not be impeding but they're uglyyyyy

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I didn't notice your art changing much while reading your comic but then i went back to the first page and, woah.

big difference

Deo101 [Millennium]

It would be smth like way off in the future though if I did do it. It's not currently in my plans

I'd rather make new pages and new comics

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

has anyone ever commented on your art evolution?

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah my art has changed uhhh a lot LOL I think maybe a couple times? I don't have a good memory

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I think it's probably different for everyone. Personally, I don't think really believe in going back and redoing stuff, but I also say that as someone who just spent the last year redrawing most of my first five chapters. For me, Ive always wanted to print my comic, and I felt a lot of self-created pressure to have my first book look really good. Because it's going to be new readers first introduction to the series and if I don't feel 100% proud of it, sell it to other people was going to be impossible. I kind of just felt embarrassed by my old art and writing(some of it was like 8 years old and hadn't aged well). And also if I was going to use up resources to print something, then it should be the best version of that thing. But on the other hand, redoing the old stuff has also made me really sad that I haven't been able to move forward with new chapters. I definitely second Deo. And I also think you have to know where to draw the line. Like "ok, I'm going to redraw this once and then not again" or "I'm going to redraw up to X point and call it good. I think can be a really easy perfectionist trap and time sink if you aren't careful.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

it is also hard to get your existing audience to follow the same story twice

OH, webtoons features are rebooted comics oftentimes

I guess that counts as going well!

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah, since getting featured by Webtoons is kinda like going print; it's a form of getting Published

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah. For this other comic I've not launched yet, I've redrawn the intro 4 times. The intro onky takes like, 20 hours absolute max (latest) but I still find myself looking at it and thinking.. I could have been making new stuff :/ BUT! I did rewrite it every time so it did need to change. I should have just waited to start it til I could commit more so there wasn't a year between each intro

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

But since webtoons features update so fast I don't really mind following the same story again. Lone is already almost to where the canvas version was

Deo101 [Millennium]

And yeah wt features need to reboot for a lotta reasons, there's also probably a lot of times like. At least lengthening updates to fit the requirements

They're not necessarily redrawing it, too. They just have to post from the beginning which totally makes sense

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

I'm giving myself a mantra, don't redraw, don't look back. Just move on with what you got. There's chapters I want to cover. It's just years ago, I had constant panic that the story's theme was going to change as it went, so I 'must' change the first chapter to suit the general overview of the story. But it resulted in me burning out and being self destructive to my work. I'm going to take better care of myself(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i think most redraw significantly though

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I mean, wouldn't u?

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I'd have to! My whole story is only like. 20 webtoons updates?

Deo101 [Millennium]

Truuu

If that, 40 panels.. a page is like usually around 5

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

agreed on redraw hell. tried it and I didn't like it at all lmaO

I'm kinda glad I have a good footing on my current comic and I don't want to redraw it at all unless it's adapted for something else. still like

work what you have, if you can orz

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

"Don't look back" is hard when you feel like the first X pages are dragging all the future pages down with them. I agree that you need to draw a line (no pun intended), set some criteria

The thing Eightfish mentioned -- not so bad that it'd deter new readers -- is a very useful criterion IMO

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

if you must, i wonder if redrawing the first scene would be okay?

Just as a taste of what's to come for new readers

Deo101 [Millennium]

Do you think they would notice the difference in quality and question that?

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

rip maybe

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I've read a long webcomic where only the first chapter was redrawn, and when I got to the second chapter and saw an immediate drop in quality, I knew what exactly happened XD

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah, but you're a creator! Readers don't have the same background to necessarily be able to assume that

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Just put in a note saying that it's art evolution

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

As someone who redrew their first scene for a lot a reasons, I will say that I personally think it's worth it.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Also same, I've seen it and knew exactly what happened

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah, it was mentioned in the notes, but I didn't read the notes at first because I knew the archive was huge, and I wanted to Get Through It

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

if i were to do that, i'd put a note in the page itself

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

That sounds like a good idea

Deo101 [Millennium]

What were your reasons for redrawing crona?

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I'm not Crona but I redid a big chunk of my chapter 1 for writing reasons. (This was in addition to a whole reboot done prior.) The writing was... not 'this screams terrible writing' kind of bad. But it was extremely misleading/ unclear on what the overall story was going to be

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

dang tbh I did kinda redraw some panels to make the dialogue flow better. But I also tried my best to match up the quality of the pages drawn the time so it doesn't look jarring.

kinda what keii said but just minimizing the effects of shockkkk

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I think this is one of the reasons why i don't want to do a comic that goes on for more than a couple years (well, for now that is. Maybe that'll change as i improve)

Deo101 [Millennium]

I redrew one intro 4 times, cause I kept rewriting the whole story.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

after that I was like "don't touch Ch. 1 again" lmao(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

1. Several panels didn't properly show what was happening in the scene. 2. Rewrote some of the dialogue 3. My art had improved so much that even if I hadn't redrawn it, the next scene would look very different. 4. I wasn't super far along, so I thought it would be good to give this another go, knowing much more about paneling, page-layout, and pacing.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

do you think there's a chance you'd eventually redraw wotp as it is now?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Hell no(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

lol then i think it's fine that you redrew!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Even if I go back and clean some things up later for print, I'm not completely redrawing anything about WotP anymore

I finally got it to a point where I'm happyish with the way it looks

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I've never totally started over, but I did a ton of drawing edits (and a few writing edits!) on my first chapter before releasing it to the public. The previous version of the chapter does look far less polished. But even then, I really only completely redrew 1 or 2 panels. The rest was just liquifying wonky faces and whatnot. Still, once it got printed, I basically locked the artwork. With how long new pages take, I really don't have time to look back much anymore which is its own kind of blessing!

In that way, I'm very glad I kept it private for a while. I wasn't confident with my skills yet - and I wanted some wiggle room. It's part of the reason I encourage people to at least have some sort of foundation, so that the jump in improvement isn't so... startling

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I actually kind of love to be startled by art evolution

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I could see myself editing wonky faces and things like that more than I can see myself redrawing! My pages only take me like 2 hours and I still wouldn't redraw, can't imagine what your timeframe would look like...

But not in your own work, crona?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

It happened with a lovely comic called Wind Rose, and it is so inspiring

I wouldn't say I don't like it in my work

More that I was completely changing art styles too

Deo101 [Millennium]

I see

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I think starting a comic is a good way to get those foundational skills though, lazuli

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Even if you didn't post it online, you did start

Which I think is enough

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

one of the biggest examples of art style shift I've seen

Comic is still doing really well though!

I don't think anyone minded the art evolution at all

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) Yeah, that's my dilemma! I've seen a couple very new comic artists burn out quickly, or say that they're relaunching because of their own unhappiness. And part of me wants to tell them to slow down - they don't need to post anything, just use it as a training ground.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Of course, if you yourself hate your old art you're probably more important(edited)

hm

It's still nice to have your story read though

even if just by a few friends

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I haven't read through it, but I know this is another good example...

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

another one!

This was intentional though, to convey a change in setting

It's kind of fun to look at these comparisons(edited)

I think most readers would feel the same

carcarchu

my most inspiring art evolution is from zero point idol chapter 1

chapter 90

the artist also got better at panelling too. also not only did the art change but the genre completely did too. it started out as a comedy romance then slowly became a drama romance

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Looks like you switched the images around?

carcarchu

oh it's in the right order on my side

the more bishounen looking one should be the newer one

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Oh! I think the more colorful one looks much better actually?

But perhaps the author chose a different style to draw more quickly?

carcarchu

uh i think the opposite

the newer art looks objectively better

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

okay i'm gonna look it up maybe I will think differently if i see a bunch of panels in context

looking it up it is definitely clear that the author is putting much more effort into later updates.

Though skimming it I still sort of prefer the style of the earlier pages?

carcarchu

i have never heard someone say that before

people usually complain they got gipped in the first chapter lol

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Can't say anything about the paneling or anything like that because I just skimmed it

Well, I like the style of the things in the first pages that they tried harder on

There are a lot of like, chibi or messy panels there

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

I'm looking up the titles for these screencaps you guys presented!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

The first one I shared is A Matter of Life and Death!

The second is YU+ME Dream (highly recommend)(edited)

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Seconded, YUME is very good and it's complete!

kayotics

I think there’s a lot of good reasons to restart or redraw past pages, but there’s a lot of people who DO get trapped in the constant iterative state of restarting/redrawing their comic, and then they don’t get anywhere with it

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

It's hard to come up with any consistent advice because people have different goals starting their comic. Like, some people just wanna do a comic to get better at art, or because they have a bunch of OCs that they want to do something with. And to those people... like, just have fun with it. Now, if you have a full story in mind, and your goal is to complete it in a timely manner that isn't overwhelming (without sacrificing on quality), this is the advice I give: 1) Plan out your story. You don't need to do a full script or whatever, but do try to have at least an outline, with an estimate of how many pages each part will be. 2) Spend a typical month (like, a month that you also have other work to do) drawing the first few pages of your comic. Don't post them yet. Count the number of pages you drew. The number you post per month should be less than that. e.g. if you drew 6 pages in that month, you should post 1 page each week. That way, you can have a bit of leeway to build a buffer without burning out. 3) Look back at that outline. How many pages did you plan it out to be? And how often are you planning on posting each page? Let's see... carry the two... this comic's gonna take HOW many years to complete?! 4) If you're comfortable with the task ahead of you, continue on to step 5. Otherwise, cut some stuff from your outline and repeat step 3. 5) Have fun with it! You might change your mind on future plot points, and that's ok! Just... try to do so in a way that doesn't create more work for yourself.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My advice is to just get started. I see so many people caught up in the idea that you need to perfect your art skills before starting a comic and then they just never start working on it

Your art is never going to be "perfect" and its better to have a tangible comic than a perfect one

I don't mean that in a discouraging way I just mean like no one can really achieve perfection and it's better to just create things

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

I like snuffysam's advice because I have noticed there are different kinds of approach to webcomics. Some do it for fun and practice like I do nowadays. While others have a big long form series they are deeply passionate about but to start it seem overwhelming. Everyone's advice is pretty great! (edited)

DanitheCarutor

Fff I don't feel like I'm really qualified to give advice to people. I don't take art and comics seriously enough to follow most rules, so I would just be a bad influence if anything. Lol (Also everyone else has already said what I would.) I guess the one thing I would tell someone on the fence about starting their comic is to do it when you're ready. Like, I wanted to start doing comics when I was 15 but I wasn't quite mentally ready yet? I was used to doing illustrations so I couldn't stick with doing anything longer than 1 page, throughout the years I experimented with doing 1-2 pages of random scenes in stories I wanted to do, it wasn't until I hit my 20s when I was like "Okay, I want to do this!" In a way I didn't totally get into comic mode until my current project, since I was still feeling things out with the previous ones. Kinda went on a tangent there. Lol But yeah, comics are a huge commitment, I don't think it's super good to push yourself into starting if you're not mentally ready yet. Give yourself some time, do some casual stuff to prepare for the comic you really want to do in the meantime (brainstorming, concept art, character studies, etc.), or don't think about it at all if that's how you do things, then when you really get that itch go for it.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

My advice won't be anything that hasn't been touched on in this chat (so many good vibes ;_;) but I do wanna say that if I had any advice for someone to get into comics, it's to do it for yourself as the main priority. Webcomic popularity has been on the rise very quickly in this past decade, with copious amounts of creators trying their hand at their One Story, competition, exposure, and pressure are sure to set in with this wild ride that is comic making. So what do you do to combat that? How do you stay above water, make sure you have fun, or avoid turning this into what seems like never ending homework? You make your goal you. Whether You want to improve, whether You want to explore characters, or whether You just want to experiment- such a large project (let's be real, there's no easy way to do comics!) should be handled with that initial fire you had when you wanted to start the project, when you felt inspired to lay those panels down and tell that story. Don't compare your journey to others, don't feel that pressure to always Be Something.(edited)

Comics are a medium, just like film, canvas, or Video games for that matter, they have their own process and steps. Find what works for you and enjoy the ride, because it could easily turn into a long one!

eliushi [a winged tale]

I love it Krispy! You gotta do what you love

I’m just curious. What are your personal goals that keeps you going for the comic if you don’t mind sharing?

(And for anyone to answer too!)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I get what you mean and 100% agree with you. But I wanna bring up a caviat -- some people use the whole "do it for yourself" thing to shut down creators who are doing it for themselves, but also want some recognition. It's not their main priority, but it is a thing they want and it's okay to want it. I guess that goes back to the other advice about getting support. Find support, find people who won't make you feel guilty for simply wanting some recognition. People who will understand and support your goals.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

told myself that I won't let my self to lay my soul to rest till I'm done with the projects I have

so lmao that's somethin that drives me contracted to keep living till everything I do is finished lmao(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

One of my friends got told she wasn't a Real Writer simply because she wanted a readership. That kinda disrespect is not okay

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

oh dang

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

oh that is a whole different level from what i'm saying for sure

first off those people can go away lol

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeeeah

Again, not what you were saying, just... how SOME people twist the advice

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

and secondly, if you're not doing your work for yourself, you can easily fall into pleasing others and drown in Trying to Stay relevant, burning your creative drive too (i mean, if you can make ur comic and do that , good on you woah) but i've seen multiple comic artists crash and burn for the sole purpose of doing the comic in competition with others, convincing themselves that 'other styles' are crap bc their own work doesnt match up (gosh that was a rough one) and all in all, them just becoming so bitter with their work! THOUGH! this essentially applies to all creative fields and not just comics! And those entitled ppl who do that suffer from jealousy and nothing else. I cannot stand for those types who tear others down when faced with their own insecurity

and creators have every right to ask for help too. y'all deserve that recognition for the hard work you do, sometimes however, that isn't always available to them

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yea

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

(which is why we gotta lift eachother up!)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

You bring up a good topic that's very relevant to my struggles. It can be very difficult to know: is it okay to disregard this criticism. Am I allowed to do that? Am I allowed to like this thing about my work that people are pointing out as the bad part? Or does that make me a.... bad creator. Unprofessional, bratty, whatever. I'm not even talking about picking a fight/ getting verbally defensive. Just, silently disagreeing. I WANT to say the answer is yes, we are free to have our own opinion about our work. But dang if it isn't hard to feel guilty for doing it.

eliushi [a winged tale]

I think any trailblazers and pioneers feel this sort of sentiment.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

That sounds about right

I don't really think of myself as a pioneer, but it is still something I feel in my bones

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I guess that’s the beauty of a self-run webcomic. You are the boss. Your viewership can give you critique, but you can choose what to listen to. You’re not beholden to a higher power (producer, director, patron, etc) to change things no matter what. It’s your project to run, and oftentimes only YOU know where it’s going, and you know how that criticism would change things.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

ya lmao. idk like I don't see a lot of stories that run in conflict of towards what I'm doing so it's kinda nervewracking when you're like "oh god am I setting a good example or what? Should I be worried when I just want to create and share a story?"

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

If you can be proud of the story as-is, I think there’s power in that, and it comes through in the work. A confident comic is a lovely thing.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

That makes me really sad that you have these struggles Kei. Your work is a project of love. Love for the things that inspire you, love for the way to tell your story, and love for that process. You are allowed to proud and tell the world about it, you are allowed to embrace the success that you gain from your work. We as comic makers do SO MUCH WORK and wear SO MANY HATS to make this mainly free to read story available, and that should be celebrated. SO YES, you CAN and you MUST choose what you want to take from others comments, their feedback, reactions, etc- but in the end, it's still about what YOU wanted to make of this work, bc in the end, you are the wheel that keeps this whole thing spinning

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I dunno about confident, but I can say my comic is an honest one. Even if I don't feel confident, I still don't let outside criticisms change what I do.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

webcomic creators aren't given the space they need to grow a lot of times too-- we're essentially producing work that easily requires a small studio to create- there's gonna be ups and downs to the process. But you have to keep in mind for your own sanity that this is still your work and your vision. If you want to explore options of improving then you should be in control of that. (we all know how i feel about crits from randos too XD!)

eliushi [a winged tale]

Agree so much Krispy. I think everyone’s goals and visions for their project are valid and if they sustain your project, then that’s a success in itself

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

agreed!

eliushi [a winged tale]

Often I see this tip and pass on to other writers that when they write their story it’s important to think of a logline or something central that is the heart of the story. I put that as my first page so every time I open my document I see it. I think it’s the same for webcomics. Find the heart of your story — why you want to write it and remind yourself of that. I find it’s helpful to keep me going

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

omg eli....i love that!!!

sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead)

wow that is really great advice eliushi!! I'd love to steal that if you don't mind?

eliushi [a winged tale]

Please do!! It’s a gift!!

take ittt

Miranda

these are all such great suggestions. You people are a fountain of wisdom.

Deo101 [Millennium]

I wrote in the header of my documents, "everything bad that happens in the story is because of me, and everything good happens because of them." Basically to remind myself not to do any sort of ex machina or whatever. And also put my tagline. It definitely helps!

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I think it's a good guideline -- the "pure luck can only be the bad kind" thing. But my bro brought up the Walking Dead (I think? either that or some other really well known zombie thing?) as an example of going too far in that direction. He said the characters take a turn, open a door, etc. and the zombies just come pouring out like an unholy explosive diarrhea all of sudden, to a point where he was like "lol?" He said it was like the universe was setting it up against the characters, and he couldn't take it seriously. He's played/watched lots of zombie stuff so he's no stranger to jump scares or zombies appearing in hordes, but that one was still too much for him.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

wh lmao about that spoiler part like

Deo101 [Millennium]

Oh yeah no, too much of anything is bad.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah like, I can see that kind of extreme bad luck being used in farce comedy

Deo101 [Millennium]

Ahaha yeah

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I wonder what a story would be like in the opposite direction where everything bad that happens to them is because of them and everything good that happens to them is because of the writer

Deo101 [Millennium]

Everything Goes Bad Man A horrible superhero trying to do his best

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

A comedy! Could also make it a Shakespearean tragedy

Deo101 [Millennium]

Horror could make it work too

I was meaning my thing more like uhh, make them earn their good things and success kinda thing

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Depressing drama about a person who tries to succeed in life but fails at every turn

Nah I got it deo

Just throwing out hypotheticals

Deo101 [Millennium]

I would hate to watch or read any of these horrible things btw

But it's fun to hypothesize

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I think for like, most stories, your direction is much more engaging

I don't want to watch someone fail over and over

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

There's also that trope where everything goes bad despite their effort, and then Luck just drops success on the character's lap, leaving them feeling empty

Deo101 [Millennium]

Me either LOL coming out of stories like that is always like 0_0 well nkw I'm just depressed

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

But I think something like watamote, a comedy about a socially inept girl, might be an example of what I said that a lot of people like. I haven't watched it though so I'm not sure

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah, I don't know that specific one, but there are cases where people feel comforted by reading about tough luck in that "I'm not the only one" way. Certainly not everyone's cup of tea, though.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Oh

Grave of the Fireflies

That movie seemed more like a message about war though. It seemed like it was trying to say something

I think I could enjoy a depressing story like that if it was nonfiction or historical fiction

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

It was sorta semi-autobiographical (not 100% but inspired by his own experience)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Something that feels real

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

yeah, grave of the fireflies WAS based off of the author's experiences

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I personally am okay with depressing fiction if it feels real

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Same

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Doesn't have to be based on true events

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

his sister and him were taken in by the aunt and they were actually left that way the sister died of starvation (edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Hey, spoiler tag that!

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

whoops mbad

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'm one of those who is 100% not... I can be okay with and love depressing stories after having seen it and then getting time away from it, but watching or reading them is a horrible experience for me

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

My Sweet Orange Tree is thought to be at least sort of based on the author's own experience, and I think that adds something to the book. (Can't confirm because the author's dead.) But even if it were pure fiction, it would remain a lovely, compelling book.

@Deo101 [Millennium] Nothing is for everyone!

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I remember feeling really depressed for the rest of the day after watching grave of the fireflies

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Not everything bad that happens to them was their own fault, but Grave of the Fireflies was sort of a story about pride though. A boy who refused to suck it up and apologize to his aunt, resulting in his and his sister's deaths. I think that did make the story more powerful

hubris and all that

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

so I can definitely relate to only watching short bursts of depressing stuff

Deo101 [Millennium]

I honestly try to avoid them entirely, not even short bursts tbh

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

correct! however, a lot of viewers also blamed the aunt for not keeping them. Apparently the real life aunt felt a lot of remorse for being indirectly responsible for their deaths, and her daughter was angry at her. However, the aunt was also feeling depression from her husband who recently died

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I read them rarely, but I feel like they make me more? Grounded? I liked the way Man's Search for Meaning (Holocaust survivor's book) changed the way I thought of the world

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'm just hyperempathetic and they really hurt me

Not like I'm like "I wanna be ignorant" or anything

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I think that one scene with the farmer telling him to suck up his pride was highlighting that he could have been taken back in but refused to even try

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

@Deo101 [Millennium] 100% Valid!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Yeah. Entertainment is supposed to be fun or meaningful and if it's not then don't read it

Although, I do really believe we should learn about these topics in school at least

You have to be exposed to them somewhat

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I just don't like the kind of idea that gritty depressing stuff is more realistic, I understand learning about history and hardships but it's not something I like to think of as like "the truth jusy is that the world is terrible" it makes me feel very alone because I work very hard to see the world nit like that.

Miranda

Re: the extreme bad luck/I cause all the bad stuff for my characters I saw a tip that said coincidences can happen to get your characters into trouble, but not to get them out of trouble, and I thought that was an excellent way of putting that. (sorry to plop that in the midst of the most recent discussion)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

TBH as someone who has lived in Eccentric Relatives' House under not so great circumstances, I didn't even get any hint of "the boy should've sucked up" from Grave of Fireflies. My experience may have been worse than the boy's in his aunt's house though, and maybe my bias led me to see his experience as being just as unfair as mine. In any case it's been years since I watched it, so maybe I'm forgetting some key details.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I think "realistic" means a mix of good and bad

My favorite nonfiction books contain a lot of cruelty, but also very good people

Reading about people's good work and outlooks despite tragedies really got to me

Or like, perseverance

Perseverance as a theme really, really hits me

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I like perseverance but I hate stories that are hopeless or treat hope as naiive

It makes me angry tbh

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

oof same yeah

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

the aunt was still feeding them though, and allowing them to stay. If he had left his sister at home and tried to get a job like his cousins did, I think it is implied that they would have survived.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I do like my dark themes but lmao i dont want to go to wreckless cruelty. there's an art with that(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Endless pessimism is as unrealistic as endless optimism(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I feel like there's hopeless stories and there's stories that treat hope as naive. The former is like, yeah sure, not everyone's cup of tea, but the latter is like "if this isn't your cup of tea, then you're dumb" which is

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I don't mind dark themes it's just that sort of grittiness, humanity is inherently evil, hope gets you nothing kind of stories that I hate

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Btw. My favorite nonfiction books: Man's Search for Meaning The Gift of Fear The Gift of Pain (no relation to the gift of fear) All showcase a lot of cruelty and suffering but all are still very hopeful

I know it's unlikely you guys will read them but

They're good and I still reccoemend them highly

They are books that changed the way i think

They are also all written by people who have gone through and seen terrible things and yet made it their life's work to help others

I just can't reccomend them enough

But I will stop talking about it now

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

for me, uhhh it's from famial experiences mostly

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Do you think your stories err on the side of optimism or pessimism?

@ everyone

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

since most of my family suffered from the vietnam war, a lot of stuff they told me were fist hand accounts of war and cruetlty

like from my mom, my dad, my aunties and uncles

even like the older members of my communties so that stuff is still fresh lmao

Deo101 [Millennium]

Optimism. I want to say neither but I know nearly no one would read it and say it's realistic

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Oh, I've had similar stories. My great grandmother had her whole family except her killed by a Japanese bomb and my family, despite traveling a lot, has still never visited Japan out of respect to her

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

but since they already living better lives I see that the darkness in those times have at least kick started them out to their kind of propserity or still striving towards

so I see myself as a realist lmao

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I think my stories usually go a bit more on the pessimistic side I’m afraid. People have remarked that my more emotional scenes can be surprisingly dark, so I’m trying to introduce some more heartwarming scenes

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I don't wanna say "err on the side of".... I do bittersweet and slightly LEAN towards the bitter more often than not! But I think this particular aspect may be partly up to the readers to gauge.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I think my story is realistic to me. The worst my characters experience is similar to mine, and the best is also similar to mine. But I have no idea if my own life has had more good or more bad than the "average person"

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

"Sometimes life super sucks in ways you have little to no control over, but you can still be there for each other, and that really, really counts" <--- is this too bitter or just right? That's up to each reader to answer, I think.

Deo101 [Millennium]

Hey you said optimism or pessimism you gotta pick

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

like there is hope and optimism but that is meaningless without the critical side of things. and I want to depict those sides in life.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Optimism

But I'm optimistic

Deo101 [Millennium]

Keiiii that's the way I write too and I think it's optimistic

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

My life has shown me that I can escape bad things so I don't think optimism is unrealistic though

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

You can't fix life but you can give love

Deo101 [Millennium]

Exactly

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

i guess for my stories they kinda like what keii said like there's good side of things but lmao I somehow add some painful elements that they have to endure in order to have those good times(edited)

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

personallly I think stories work if you give people hope

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Eh, not every story is meant to give hope

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Yeah

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

but it's a good goal

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

like as long as you give people a semblance of hope, even if you throw some depressing stuff.....it can work. Oh, I meant as a bittersweet story

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

But I think not giving hope is unrealistic

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

lmao I guess I'm a target since the last story i write

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Though perhaps I only think that because I haven't experienced true tragedy(edited)

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

it was just bleak in a hopeful light

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

It depends, like I can imagine a short story that hyperfocuses on something extremely depressing.

Deo101 [Millennium]

Y'know what I have actually hopeless things in my life and I have 0 interest in reading a story that's hopeless

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

ye and that's fair

Deo101 [Millennium]

And even though I have hopeless experiences I don't think my life overall is hopeless

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

i wonder if people actively look for stories that focus on not having hope because i know many people read these stories as a way to escape their lives

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I agree on that. idk. for me writing stories that lead to an end that really don't work with both parties... could be just my morbid curosity in just seeing how things won't work out as planned for both persons.

could be like a philosophical thing maybe? or giving a different perspective of some sorts?

like "things are the same but given with the option you gave me, I can't go through with that"

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I can relate to curiosity being a motivation for exploring dark stories. It's why I check out horror stories -- horror stories (games especially) show the MC in an extremely "wrong" situation at the beginning, and I check them out to find out the presumably equally extreme "why" for that wrongness. I don't think I could write stories like that myself, though.

Psychological horror specifically

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yeah, horror has been uh ingraned in my life to this point. and I like writing stories with that kind of edge in mind, more of the psycholgial aspects than horror.

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Do you guys think some people search for morbid stories like these to not only satisfy their curiousity....but also to make themselves feel better about their own lives?

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I don't particularly care to find out why Mr. Chainsaw is going around killing everyone in a splatter/slasher horror, for instance X'D

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

it's a possibility tbh.

sometimes I do that but I also had experienced simalar kinds of sorts that seeing those works i'm like "dang not alone in these wack feels"

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I guess it depends on each person?

"Gee, at least I don't have any literal demons coming after my eyeballs" is not very comforting to me, personally

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

i mean lmao

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Sometimes sad stories do make me feel more thankful for my own peaceful life but I don't seek them out for that reason

Deo101 [Millennium]

Imagine if ur disabled and that's the narrative used to make other people feel better about their lives

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

DX

Deo101 [Millennium]

Off topic but that's why disabled people hate "inspiration porn"

It's something that's really hard to explain cause "do you not want to inspire people" is really hard to answer

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yeah, those kinds of stories I really don't like at all.

Deo101 [Millennium]

So I wanted to jump on the opportunity to explain even though it's really off topic sorry

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

No, don't be sorry. "Life sucks but hey, at least you're not me!" is not something anyone should have to put up with

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

it's understandable tho!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

To be honest I do seek out stories about disability because I find it fascinating how people adapt to mental and physical changes. I find ingenuity very interesting?

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I guess I look at it more towards like how some relationships with people don't work, and also the diaconomy between individuals interest me. Not for those kinds of stories but I've seen elements of that appear in some works i read in the past

Deo101 [Millennium]

I also seek out stories about disabilities, but only hopeful ones not like "my life is ruined and this is my driving motivation, to not be like this"

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

One of the books I recommended was by a doctor who spent his life working with people with leprosy and the workarounds for missing limbs and sensation he and his patients would come up with was just so fascinating to me to read

It's something that's really hard to explain cause "do you not want to inspire people" is really hard to answer

@Deo101 [Millennium] I think I understand you but just curious- how do you respond to that?(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

It's usually like "I want to inspire people to be like me because they're proud of what I can do" but they're always like "I'm proud of what you can do in spite of-" and it's like. Idk just a deep sigh

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

oh yeah rip

i had that happened to me before like "Dang you do did this and you're from some a family that suffered so much--"

"uh huh please focus on the work not my life thanks lmao"

Deo101 [Millennium]

Like don't hold me to a different, lower standard. Don't pity me

Yeah exactly

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Hm it's sort of true but also if someone said "I'm proud of what you can do despite not having a dad" I'd be like fuck yoooouuuu

Deo101 [Millennium]

Like there's other things please

It's like, pity. It's not actually inspiration I think

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I'm proud of what you can do in spite of not having a brain

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

pity has left the building

like sure, yeah let's go with that but there's other experiences other than my background and my identity the brought out this work too. that's how we can get some unique voices into the field.

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

so yeah, I can understand rip people saying fustrating things like that. maybe they don't have a better way of phrasing it. orz

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

At the very least it's better than the opposite side

"your experiences were not that bad" angle

Deo101 [Millennium]

I get that a lot also

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

and sadly I too experienced that angle LMAO

Deo101 [Millennium]

LMAO tuyetnhi same hat

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

no one wins

hurrah

most of it came about because of my mixed idenity like I don't get hit by the usual racism my viet friends experienced

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

This is overall a very small thing but I casually mentioned I was attracted to women to a long time friend yesterday and she went full on "thank you so much for coming out to me this doesn't change my opinion of you I love you you're a great friend" And then the conversation got hella stilted and awkward after that and AG I Hate that

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

but er.... I have seen people look at me and was like "mixed baby? that's hot"

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Wtfff

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

"please no."

it's wack like u put me in a scale where that scale is already wack to begin with

it don't make sense lmao

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

wait what the fuck

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

People are like why TF are u using a cane you're young and I tell them I have a condition and they're like, what does it do and I say the symptoms and they're like :/ I get those too :/

Freak out and tell them to get tested right away

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

also i really get annoyed when I see people just.......treat people with personality disorders like we're all psychos and tell others

hey at least you're not like these psychos

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Oh the telling others bit(edited)

Nooooo

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

like my experience isn't that universal but it's already terible enough knowing that if you have mixed ethncities then you're treated as an "exotic creature" and i'm like "I'll shoot you down"

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Mann luckily I grew up in a place where that doesn't really happen

I hope

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Oh my god i'm glad i live in a really diverse city and yeah deo....they do

we get labelled "troubled people" particularly if we're female in the mental health sector

a LOT of psychiatrists push us around and they use it as code for "difficult"

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

rip I live where 80% the folks here are mostly er homogenous white folk

and they ask me these questions that I know boil me blood

I'm too poor for cali man

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

oooooof I feel that tuyetnhi i went to a really white uni town for my alma mater

i got called a tall chink by a frat boy there

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yeah I experienced that shit durring uni

it sucks

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

yoooo you can also come to toronto if you can't go to cali ;3

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I can travel to toronto but lmao maybe next year

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

maybe ;A;;

also @Eightfish (Puppeteer) wait what do you mean by your question? is it pertaining to personality disorders or to the race questions?

......yeah people tend to treat you better if they don't know you have a personality disorder

LMAO I MEAN TRUE, that's pretty obvious XD

because people think that personality disorders are untreatable. And I would like people to be more informed about them

Heck, a lot of people don't even know about BPD. So I'd rather that people stay informed about it, even if it means that I might suffer for it.

What if there's another person with BPD who needed help but the people around them didn't know? And I don't think it's fair to keep it hidden when it can easily damage relationships.

Deo101 [Millennium]

And also, "why don't you just hide that part of yourself if people treat you badly for how you are?" Is hardly ever a healthy way of dealing with things

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

better be informed than being ignorant

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Yeah...I've actually considered just...putting a joke warning label on myself lmao

(but thank you guys for understanding <3)

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

negatively changed? rip

ohhh nooo

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

yeah.....it's kinda like.....just because you have these negative experiences, you try not to let it stop you

because there's ALWAYS a chance that you'll meet people who understand

........I actually told a good friend that I had bpd and she started ghosting me. She was scared of me and thought i was...."weird"

and scary.

She was scared that i was gonna go psycho.

but I think it's important to know that not everyone is going to be an asshole.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

it really is

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

i had a psychiatrist tell me that i probably lost friends....because i was a bitch ;A;

after formally diagnosing me with bpd

yeah and i had one psychiatrist just....diagnost me with anxiety disorder and he wouldn't listen to me just gave me a survey to fill out

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

makes them feel like they're 2d?

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

yeah and they are usually very complex and have very VERY varied pasts doesn't help that the media paints us as monsters in horror movies a lot

you see sociopathy and antisocial disorder in the news a lot and then they see people with bpd and they're like

LOOK! YANDERES!

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

ooooffff

that's not even part of the DSM lmaO

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

screams every time i see an article about how to "save yourself from someone with BPD"

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

speaking from my experiences as a former psyche major

like that can't be determined solely just by those factors alone

cormidbity is a factor too

oh my godddd

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I get that a lot

also yeah psychiatrists..........they need to keep themselves updated man

they put a lot of blanket terms for people with pds because it's easier or maybe because psychiatrists are simply not equipped to deal with people with pds?

i mean look how many psychiatrists i've met or heard fuck it up with bpd

and that's one of THE EASIEST pds to rehabilitate

imagine rehabilitating someone with narcissism or sociopathy

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

APD

is the proper term lmao

or ASPD

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

also eightfish....nope. it's a really long LONG road to rehabilitation. Some take years.

but it's kinda...a relief to be diagnosed OH WHOOPS

mbad

OH MY GOD THE TRANSGENDER THING

coughs in victorian times exCUSE me

hugs

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

rip this is from my understanding but if the condition of the disorder is either: a combination of bringing harm to yourself, restricting yourself from your routines, harm to others, or sense of losing control of your daily life then they will mostly likely dianoise. though that's what I

I've known years ago rip. idk if they hold up those standards today

or changed things from it

it really bites when you're seeking help and the folks that supposed to help you say like "but you're normally functioning so I see no problem ya u free to go"

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

"if we can't see it you're not injured so get the fuck back to work"

psychiatrists who just brush you off because it doesn't fit THEIR narrative piss you off

like you're going to them for help....and they categorize you as they see fit

and when you try to go against them they label you as "difficult"

eliushi [a winged tale]

Hey friends, good discussions here but just wondering if it’s best in #general as this will be archived? Just want you all to be safe

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

ah okay! Thank you Eli

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Oof wait archived?

In what way?

eliushi [a winged tale]

Check pins(edited)

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

OH GOD

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Ahh

I'm deleting every message lol

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

(And this convo is off topic)

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

will do man

Deo101 [Millennium]

already on it

I just deleted everything to about 1 cause I think thats where we went off topic

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Oh shit yeah this is creator babble

I will delete messages as well

[scripttorture]

(1/2) There’s a part in my story where this character is taken captive and kept in an inescapable but nice mansion. He’s given free reign to basically do anything (except escape or try and contact anyone) and he’s given food as if he were a guest. After a few days he’s briefly taken to a room where he’s tied down and interrogated. The character trying to gain information from him is telepathic and will ask a question (ie. location of secret hideout) and attempt to read the character’s thoughts.

(2/2) If there’s no physical harm being done to the character, would he still panic and not be able to accurately remember these things? Are there ways the telepath could put thoughts into the character’s mind to scare him into giving information? If the character is returned to the mansion unscathed, and then he was rescued a few days later, could he walk away without any long lasting psychological damage? And is it realistic to have them torture him afterwards for not giving them anything?

Ithink this is one of those fictional scenarios where it reallydepends on how you play it. Because the changes you’ve made toreality are- well pretty central to the situation.

Ithink this answer is going to be less about ‘would this work’ andmore about avoiding torture apologia while keeping the fantasticalelements.

Partof this depends on how you’re thinking of telepathy. If it’sseeing what someone thinks with no influence over that thoughtprocess- I think that would be easier to use and avoid apologia. Itcould still work if telepathic conversation is just a conversation.

Butif you’re picturing something more akin to the way the Xmen couldroot around in a character’s subconscious, rearrange things,implant false memories, dig up old memories, create hallucinationsand so forth- Then I think you’d have a problem and it would bebest to take torture out of the story completely.

Thisis a power set which canbe used to twist reality in such a way that torture ‘realistically’works. And that sort of fantasy is- well justifying torture. In around about way.

Forgetabout scaring the character. Forget about threats and forget abouttying him up.

Stepback from the super powers for a moment and treat this like astraight forward interrogation. Startby having a read through my post on effective, realisticinterrogation here.

Thefirst important point is that interrogation is really one of theworst ways of finding out anything. The human memory is shockinglybad at the best of times. People who genuinely know the informationand want to help oftenget things wrong. Not out of malice but simply because our brains arenot supposed to hold on to everything accurately.

Anysort of stress makes it harder for us to remember things accuratelyandmakes the creation of false memories more likely. That doesn’t justmean pain or threats. The severity of pain and stress during torturemeans that accurate recall is virtually impossible during torture.But if you think for a moment about your own experience you canprobably think of ordinary low-stress situations where your memoryhas failed you.

Anyoneremember being sure they knew the answer to that one question buttheir brain went blank when they sat down for the exam?

Normal,every day stress can be sufficient to affect memory. Especiallyif that stress is effecting the character’s ability to sleep.

Scaringthe character, restraining him, treating him badlyis going to work against the interrogators. Even if they have amassive magical advantage.

Becausetheir telepathy is limited by hisbrain.They can’t recreate information that they’ve destroyed.

Beingkidnapped and held hostage is stressful enough. Even with ‘nice’kidnappers this situation could easily be traumatising.

Thebest way to get accurate information from an interviewee is toestablisha friendly rapport.

Anythingthat gets in the way of that undermines the process of gettinginformation. That applies just as much here as it does in a situationwithout super powers.

Ifyou want to use scary or creepy elements through this here’s whatI’d suggest. Rather than a deliberateattempt to terrify the captive character have the telepathiccharacter just- lean in to those powers a little.

‘Youmay as well just tell me you know. You’re going to think of itsooner or later and I’ll hear. Honestly you’re just gettingyourself worked up trying notto think about it. I’ll find out. It’s inevitable. It’ll be somuch easier if you tell me.’

‘Youknow every time I ask you a question you think a little bit about theanswer? I might not get everything at once but I get enough. I’llput it together. Here I’ll show you- Where’s the secret base? Wowthat’s a beautiful oak. It must be hundreds of years old to looklike that. And now I know it’s near the base. How many trees likethat do you think there are dotted around? Oh so there aren’t anyothers near that one. See? We’re narrowing it down all the time-’

‘Ohyou got nervouswhen I showed you that picture. Am I getting warm?’

Thatwould probably also make interrogation less effectively. It wouldmake it take longer and it would lower the quality of any informationthe interrogators got. But you could easily play that as inexperienceas an interrogator or incompetence or just relying on powers to makeup for poor technique.

AndI think this would be much more likely to get somethingthen active attempts to intimidate or frighten the captive character.

Thelast two questions are uh- a little confusing for me.

Ifthe character is tortured then he wouldhave long lasting psychological ‘damage’ as you put it. That’swhat torture does. If you want to avoid that don’t use torture inyour story.

Ifyou don’tuse torture in the story, if the character isn’t terrorised or hurtduring his kidnapping, he couldstill realistically be traumatised and have long term psychologicalproblems. He could also realistically not be traumatised and not havelong term psychological problems. Either is possible.

Iwould say having trauma symptoms seems more likely. Things likeanxiety, hypervigilance, and memory problems all seem incrediblylikely to me. PTSD is possible. So are panic attacks and addiction.

I’dsuggest picking at least one long term symptom for the character tograpple with.

Personally?I’d go with a memory problem for this story because I think thatcould fit very well with the themes that seem to be present in theinterrogation itself. The stress on this character’s memory (andthe accuracy of them), the idea of a telepath standing there judginghis thoughts and memories, the way characters could assume memoryproblems are a product of telepathy rather than a common traumasymptom-

Ithink it’s a symptom set you could use to add to the story in a lotof ways. I’vegot a masterpost on memory problems here that you can take a look at.

Ifyou choose to have the character tortured during the story then I’dsuggest picking 3-5 symptoms fromthe list over here.Which you would have to show for the rest of the story. The characterwould be dealing with these for the rest of his life.

Whichleaves the last question-

Yesthat’s possible, but I don’t think it’s particularly likely.

Torturersare not effective interrogators and effective interrogators are nottorturers. Bluntly a torturer would not have the patience or sense tohold off on abuse long enough to get accurate information out of acharacter.

Ifyou’re thinking about a larger groupof villains then I think you could plausibly have one character getall the information they need out of the captive and then pass himoff to another holding facility where torture occurs.

Butsomething like that would have wider implications for the bad guysand their group. Torturers have a toxic effect on the organisationsthey’re part off. They ignore orders. They’re terrible for moral.They actively destroy an organisation’s ability to gather accurateinformation.

Basicallya lot of your scenario boils down to this: what is more important forthe story, that the character is severely traumatised or that the badguys get accurate information from him?

Realisticallyboth are unlikely and trying to blend the two often results intorture apologia. So prioritise. Think about what’s more importantand what the story can survive without.

Ifyou’re worried about adding threat and drama to your scenariobelieve me you have enough as it stands without torture and withoutovert threats from the villains. They have control of thischaracter’s lifewhen they have him captive. That is a terrifying situation with a lotof dramatic potential. Don’t be afraid to use that.

Ihope this helps. :)

Availableon Wordpress.

Disclaimer

[rkmiya]

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ IN WONDERLAND ˎˊ˗

everyone in the party looked absolutely amazing.

with the resources given by the company, they were able to go above and beyond for their outfits. though sunmi knows damn well that meiqi probably funded it all herself and still came out looking amazing. she wishes she could ever. but to be fair, this was an opportunity to do an all-out kind of halloween costume that they always wanted to do but never could. immediately she thought of a bunch of things she could be but fore the practicality of a party, she knew she would favour mobility. so then sunmi became maleficient.

it wasn't that hard to pull an outfit together but in attempts to avoid looking costume-y or cheap, she custom ordered a middle ages style dress in the same tones angelina jolie wore in the movie. she didn't want an exact replica but something that showed that the dress clearly drew inspiration from that. and the horns...well those had to be specially crafted if she wanted them to look pretty good. and even with a light material (so it wasn't too heavy on her head) was pretty good. sunmi was expecting to drop at least a rack on her costume. she was surprised when it was under one.

the horns went on with some easy cosmetic glue. they held on strong. she was assured time and time again that it wouldn't be anything she needs to worry about. the wings, when made, weren't meant for flexibility. in order to retain their shape they were a little more rigid. they were heavier (far heavier) than the horns were. in order for her to able to sit or do a lot of movement, she was able to take it off easily. honestly, she felt like the wings were more for picture purposes but she's not sure how many people would pick up on who she was dressed as otherwise.

others seemed to spend some serious time executing their visions for their costume. everyone looked freaking magnificent. sunmi was worried if she'd stand out with a costume like hers. upon the first thirty seconds inside of the party she instantly knew she had no reason to ever worry. people were in a range of costumes but it was clear that many were ambitious with their executions. this was the part of halloween that she loved. it was so fun to see everyone else try to personify their characters

even people at the event like the staff, cameramen, interviewers -- even their ceos were dressed up for the occasion. it was only appropriate considering the event. she didn't logically expect the ceos to be in business outfits during the party but a part of her was still surprised seeing them.

other than enjoy the spooky themed food and drinks, and sit around, she wasn't sure what else there was to do. should she interact with other idols? she's sure if she did with anyone outside of and*roma there would be talks. but considering per_se was seated at the same table as her group was, she figures that they were safe in the very least. by the looks of it, all of the new rookie groups were here. so that meant luxe (and by extension cheri) was here as well. sunmi would most likely see her before the party's end.

sunmi wasn't much of a party girl in the sense where she'd drink, get turnt and make a fool of herself. she enjoyed a good social gathering. even so, usually her "parties" entailed everyone gathering around and eating, sharing a drink or two and playing games together. it was just a good time. a grande scale thing like this was a little outside of her comfort zone. maybe when she was younger she would have enjoyed parties like this more often but she's never been incredibly outgoing to begin with anyways.

it probably has to do with the fact that despite this being a "party", there was a suffocating feeling that accompanied it. they weren't allowed to really unwind. they weren't truly allowed to have fun had they would without any "supervision". they had to watch their appearance all the while. having to "have fun" while simultaneously maintaining an image on camera was exhausting. for sunmi, it required putting up a certain degree of a facade to hold back. because image was always important. so it wasn't as fun as it could have been without all the peering eyes and the harsh whispers lurking over their heads.

it's also unfortunate that her sister isn't able to join the festivities. logically sunmi knows it's due in part to her still being a secret to the public. they only just recently released word of xayah's rather abrupt departure. it wouldn't come off well in the eyes of fans if they just somehow already had a replacement for her ready before promotions were even over for the group. it would stir up all sorts of questions about the true goings-on behind the scenes. people would ask if they just had trainees lined up at the ready to be shoved into a group when members leave. so on the part of royal, it was to save face.

because there was press around, luna couldn't come. it would look suspicious for a new girl to be seated with luxe. the press at the party would leak the information of a new member of luxe before anyone could even blink. this was royal's attempt of controlling how and when luna's announcement of being a new member dropped. it was smart but it still sucked that her sister had to wait so long and miss out on what's a super valuable opportunity as an idol. they don't get to do things like this often. it was best to take ahold of the opportunity when it presented itself like this. because otherwise they'd have to organise hang outs around schedules and hopefully not get caught by dispatch or else a weird and damaging story would be released to ruin the group's image. it was hard having friends in other groups (who were the opposite sex at least). so it was best to use events like this to their advantage.

as promised, she texts her sister about how everything looks and jokes on what her costume could have been. only so luna doesn't feel completely lonely in the luxe dorms. there's not much attention sunmi could devote to her sister while at the party (unfortunately) but she tries to remember to text her back every now and again.

sunmi meets people. important people with too white smiles and somehow dry hands. she plays nice, smiles and shows off her "cute" costume to everyone. she engages and makes jokes that she doesn't believe is really funny but goes along with regardless in order to keep people smiling. this was her understanding of what her life was going to be come their debut: a whole lot of masking her true emotions if they could be perceived as "rude". although she wants to express a more honest side of herself to her fans (she doesn't want to be fake) she is well away with how abrasive she could come off. some filtering was definitely needed.

despite being able to socialise with friends she hasn't been able to see in months or years, sunmi finds herself thoroughly exhausted by the end of it. it's a lot of energy to put into just one night. it takes a lot more out of her than initially anticipated. by the time the party is announced to be over and managers round up the groups, sunmi is ready for her damn bed. she promised that somin that she would text her once the party was over. as much as she wants to keep the promise to her fiance, she finds herself falling asleep as soon as the van starts to move back towards their dorms.

[globefan]

Michelle Terry interview with The Stage

Michelle Terry: ‘This job has taught me that democracy is really hard’

by

Natasha Tripney

- May 29, 2019

Shakespeare’s Globe artistic director Michelle Terry tells Natasha Tripney about taking over from Emma Rice during a period of trauma for the organisation, why she chose the ‘mythic’ history plays for her latest season, and why Shakespeare will always be relevant

Less than half an hour before our interview, Michelle Terry was on stage playing Hotspur in Henry IV Part I, and when we meet she’s still sporting the character’s black nail varnish and tattoos.

The artistic director of Shakespeare’s Globe is careful with her words, but there’s an undercurrent of exhilaration to her responses as she curls up in an armchair in a corner backstage. That’s no surprise given this is the first ‘trilogy day’ of the venue’s summer season (there will be six in all).

Over the course of the day, the ensemble company will perform Henry IV, parts I and II and Henry V. “It’s extraordinary going out in front of an audience who you know is going to be with you for the long game,” she says.

Explaining the thinking behind this year’s programme, Terry says: “At a time when our nation is in such a state, it made sense to do the state-of-the-nation plays.” The intention is to put on all of the history plays sequentially. The programme began earlier in the year with Richard II in the Sam Wanamaker Playhouse with Adjoa Andoh playing the title role. Henry IV and Henry V are playing on the main stage and the cycle will return to the Sam Wanamaker for Henry IV and Richard III, to better explore “the domesticity of these plays, to view them through the prism of candlelight”.

Having referred to them as the history plays, Terry quickly corrects herself: “Calling them history plays reduces them. They’re mythic. We wanted to do all of the myths.”

As Hotspur, Terry is in her element, her performance vivid and playful, dashing, daring, funny. It’s the performance of someone who has total understanding of the space, its potential for intimacy and connection. Her strength of feeling for the building is similarly palpable.

Coming home to Shakespeare’s Globe

When we spoke in 2016, Terry talked with great affection about performing at the Globe, describing it “as a place unlike any other”. When she was appointed artistic director in July of the following year, the trajectory made sense. She took over the role from Emma Rice, who left after only two seasons in charge after disagreements with the board.

Although Terry knew the venue well as a performer, she was less familiar with its workings as an organisation and educational centre. So as well as taking over under difficult circumstances, there was a lot to learn. Looking back, she is able to recognise how tough this transition period was. “The big learning curve was understanding my place as artistic director in the organisation, at a point when it was bruised and people needed healing. It was traumatic.”

In the theatre industry, she adds, “the line between the personal and the professional can be wafer thin”. It was very personal for everyone, but she hopes good has come from it. When she announced her first season, she said: “Emma Rice was the best thing that ever happened to the Globe because it has forced an organisation to go through a healthy form of protest.” Throughout our conversation she returns more than once to the image of collapse and renewal. “We’re still in the renewal phase of figuring out who, how and why we are.”

One of the main features of her first season was the ensemble company with whom she staged Hamlet and As You Like It. She has spoken about a wish to dismantle hierarchies and create work collaboratively with the actors in the creative process.

This year she will revisit and expand the ensemble model. Whereas last year a company of 12 actors performed two plays, this year a company of 10 (11 if you count Terry, though she only performs in Henry IV Part I) will stage all the history, or rather myth, plays. As with last year, it’s a diverse company, with a 50/50 gender split. Part of the thinking behind the ensemble is that it gives the actors more time to work on the texts. “We live together with these plays for 15 weeks,” Terry says. There’s also a longer preview period, because, while a lot of dramaturgic work happens in the rehearsal room, “with Shakespeare you need to test it in front of an audience”.

One of her main intentions is to “release the plays from literal casting”. This is something she reiterates throughout our conversation – that Shakespeare’s plays are anti-literal and mythic. Anyone can play any role. “Shakespeare had an interest in human beings.” That’s a healthier way of looking at his work, she says, adding: “To think what type of human being is this, as opposed to whether they are male or female. The plays are much bigger and multitudinous than that.”

They’re more than fairytales, they’re ‘fated tales’ and “the minute we reduced them to literalism we reduce ourselves”, she adds. Last year, Jack Laskey played Rosalind in As You Like It, and Terry played Hamlet. In the current season, Sarah Amankwah plays Henry V opposite Colin Hurley’s Katharine. Helen Schlesinger plays Falstaff across the season.

She’s aware “our core audience has been through quite a ride with different artistic directors over a short space of time” and wants to reassure them that the work is still experimental. “It’s still radical. Theatre should be provocative but nothing we’re trying to do is antagonistic. I hope it’s liberating.”

One of the biggest successes of that first season was not a production of Shakespeare, but a new play about a writer inextricably linked with him: the English poet Emilia Lanier. Terry had long been fascinated with her. The name Emilia occurs often in Shakespeare’s plays: “I kept accumulating information about her.” She decided to shape the first season around her and stage all of the plays in which Emilia is mentioned. When she approached the playwright Morgan Lloyd Malcolm about the idea of writing a play about the poet, “she burst into tears and I thought: ‘Here we go �� that’s your commission.’”

Emilia review at Vaudeville Theatre, London – ‘Morgan Lloyd Malcolm’s play roars into the West End’

Emilia, performed with an all-female cast, ran for just 11 performances at the Globe last summer, but during that time it struck a chord with audiences. The energy it generated, with its galvanising final speech and sense of reclaiming the stage, was incredible. A West End transfer followed. “It’s clearly chimed with many people, not necessarily just women. It’s about wanting to have a voice and be heard.”

The challenges of running the Globe

According to the Globe’s annual report, the 2018 programme, which consisted of 11 productions, attracted 364,422 theatregoers, which amounted to 89% of the Globe’s maximum capacity. School visits were down as was footfall, something attributed in the document to the terrorist incident at London Bridge and cuts to arts education. All of which means the Globe has been obliged to put its major Prospero Project – to create a new library and archive – on hold.

This also explains why, despite the success of Emilia, a decision has been taken not to programme any new writing in the main space this year, though there will be new writing in the Sam Wanamaker Playhouse in the winter. Terry cites the unpredictability of Brexit as another factor: “It means we had to be canny about the programming.” It takes time to invest in new writing, she says, especially as the remit of new work at the Globe is that it needs to be tailored to the architecture. “It made sense to give ourselves a year off to invest in writers for 2020.”

The Globe wants to stay reactive, she says, and that’s easier to do with new writing, but Shakespeare’s plays are timeless. “There’s always something in them that illuminates now.” There’s something comforting in knowing things have always been like this. “We’ve always been on the brink of civil war. We’ve always questioned leadership and power.”

What has her first year in the job taught her? “Democracy is really hard.” It’s hard for everyone involved, she stresses, be it assuming a position of power or giving power up. “How do you share responsibility, ownership, accountability? At a certain point the buck has to stop.” She believes theatre is a collaborative and collective art form and “if we’re not having collaborative conversations then it become a disingenuous transaction”.

She adds: “If theatre is to remain vital, then it’s vital we recognise that every individual comes with needs.” This includes parents – she spends a lot of time thinking about ways of improving things for parents in the industry – but it goes deeper than that. “It’s our responsibility to meet whatever those needs are in order for people to thrive, whether it’s an issue of childcare, carers, access. There’s not one size that fits all. Everything needs to be questioned.”

When Terry was six, her family moved from Nuneaton to Weston-super-Mare. In an effort to help her settle in and get to know people, her parents enrolled her and her brother in a local amateur dramatics group. “It’s hard being the new kid, but if you can pretend to be other people it’s easier.” She felt safest playing other people.

Though they’d sometimes go into Bristol to see plays, the Weston-super-Mare pantomime was one of her first introductions to theatre. The best pantomimes, she says, engage with the audience. “I had to sit in the middle of the row, the idea that someone might pick on me or talk to me was terrifying.”

Once she’d decided she wanted to work in theatre, she set about finding ways to make it happen. Following a degree in English at Cardiff University, she applied and got in to RADA. It’s important, she stresses, to have a period of time in your life when you “learn how to fail and how to pick yourself up”.

She made her stage debut in 2004 as Edith, the maid, in Peter Hall’s production of Blithe Spirit, alongside Penelope Keith, Joanna Riding and Amanda Drew. The production ended up in the Savoy Theatre in the West End. Barbara Kirby – who played Mrs Bradman – and Terry couldn’t believe their luck. “We’d always wanted to do theatre – and here we were doing it.”

Having worked on Blithe Spirit for a year, Terry ended up back in Weston-super-Mare working as a medical secretary. “That was awful,” she says. Having lived the life she’d dreamed of living, she was worried that was all she would get, that it wouldn’t happen again. Then in 2005, she was cast as Celia in As You Like It at the New Vic in Newcastle-under-Lyme and, as she puts it, “got lucky”.

A Royal Shakespeare Company casting director was travelling from Edinburgh when his train broke down and he ended up seeing her show. This led to her being cast in Dominic Cooke’s 2006 production of The Crucible. From that point on she’s worked steadily. “There never was a shooting star moment”. There have, however, been “painful periods of not working.” Then suddenly, she says, there are moments in which you realise: “Oh my God, I’m 40 and I’ve been doing it for 20 years. Only then can you finally allow yourself to say: ‘Okay, we’re doing all right.’”

Terry’s work at the Royal Shakespeare Company included Pericles and The Winter’s Tale. In 2007, she made her first appearance on the Globe stage in Love’s Labour’s Lost. In 2011, she won an Olivier award for best actress in a supporting role for Nina Raine’s Tribes, in which she played a woman gradually losing her hearing.

She acquired a reputation as an actor of nuance and insight. The Guardian’s Michael Billington referred to her as “a thinking actor,” meaning her approach to the roles she plays is as analytical as it is intuitive. Observer theatre critic Susannah Clapp called her “one of our most glorious actresses”.

Terry starred in Marianne Elliott’s All’s Well That Ends Well in 2009 and The Comedy of Errors, both at the National, returning to the Globe in 2013 to play Titania in Dominic Dromgoole’s production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. “Shakespeare is and will always be my first love,” she says.

Continues…

Q&A Michelle Terry

What was your first professional theatre job? Blithe Spirit for the Peter Hall company.

What’s your next job? No idea.

What do you wish someone had told you when you were starting out? One in five people won’t like you and there is nothing you can do about it.

Who or what was your biggest influence? My old amateur dramatics teacher, my music teacher and Shakespeare.

What’s your best advice for auditions? Auditions are a separate skill – treat them like they’re meetings. It’s as important for you to know if you can work with who you’re meeting, as it is for them to know if they can work with you.

If you hadn’t been an actor, what would you have been? I never gave myself the option.

Do you have any theatrical superstitions or rituals? Tongue twisters: I have a sequence I have to do before every show, otherwise God knows what will happen.

The following year she was back at the RSC for Christopher Luscombe’s double-bill of Love’s Labour’s Lost and Much Ado About Nothing, and reunited with McIntyre to play Rosalind in As You Like It at the Globe in 2015. One of her most flooring performances was in Katie Mitchell’s merciless production of Sarah Kane’s Cleansed at the National.

What drives her as a performer is “that feeling that you’re part of something that matters,” and she adds: “If you throw yourself into every role that you do, there will always be a moment where your life changes because of it.”

We talk about the cuts to arts in education. She grows even more impassioned, her frustration palpable. In order to develop an understanding, a love, of Shakespeare, she explains, it’s essential to have the opportunity to see it performed. “Theatre is so experiential. The plays are meant to be experienced. They are vibrant and vital and alive.”

Shakespeare is not just words on a page. We don’t appreciate the power of language to transform, she says, invoking Greta Thunberg, “this young kid standing with just words and everyone listening”. She mentions the Globe’s Playing Shakespeare education project for schools, in which 20,000 free tickets were given to students for Romeo and Juliet. “These London kids who experience knife crime every day are watching a play about knife crime – it’s so powerful. Theatre has the capacity to be miraculous,” she says.

One of the things she’s struggled with over the last year is “carving out time to be reflective, which is so important to staying creative”. Her daily life is “so atomic” and currently it’s hard to think past Hotspur, which lines landed, which didn’t. “It’s hard to find time.” Especially when running a major building.

Director Ian Rickson taught her a vital lesson about being an artistic director. He told her: “There are very few people who will understand how overwhelming it is – all I can say to you is: don’t miss the abundance.” With a job like this, she says: “We’re in the weeds all of the time. It’s important to take a moment to look up and realise how lucky we are.”

CV Michelle Terry

Born: 1979, Nuneaton Training: RADA Landmark productions: • Love’s Labour’s Lost, Shakespeare’s Globe, London (2007) • All’s Well That Ends Well, National Theatre, London (2009) • Tribes, Royal Court, London (2010) • A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Shakespeare’s Globe (2013) • Love’s Labour’s Lost and Much Ado About Nothing, Royal Shakespeare Company, Stratford-upon-Avon (2014) • Cleansed, National Theatre (2016) • Henry V, Regent’s Park Open Air Theatre, London (2016) • Hamlet, Shakespeare’s Globe (2018) Awards: • Olivier award for best actress in a supporting role for Tribes (2011)

Shakespeare’s Henry plays run at the Globe until October 11

© Copyright The Stage Media Company Limited 2019^

[ronyxfic]

Educating the Victim - Act VI, Chapter XIX

Pairing: -

Rating: Mature

Warnings/Tags: none for this chapter

CHAPTER 19: Canapes

 They didn’t get going until almost noon, and Marigold found herself lugging a very grouchy and hungover Rose around. Rose refused breakfast and complained about her headache every five minutes, and Marigold grit her teeth and suffered through it, because she knew that what she’d done to Aurora had been a million times worse.

They found the rental Azure had organised, and Marigold started driving, knowing that once again, they would arrive at their destination too late to actually be able to do anything.

   --

 "Okay, girls!" Aurora marched into the kitchen, where Pearl and Amethyst were having breakfast. "Everyone's due to come in at ten, so hurry up and help me with these canapes."

 "Everyone who?" Amethyst asked. "I didn't know we were having a party here."

 "I'm having a meeting with the Crystal Gems just to inform everyone what's happening." Aurora pulled out soft cheese from the fridge. "I told you before you got drunk."

 “Oh. Bold of you to assume I’d remember,” Amethyst said. “P, can I have a joint before they come?”

Pearl shot her a look and got up to help Aurora. “It would probably be better if you didn’t, but I’m not going to stop you.”

 "I'd really prefer if you didn't, and if you could hide your stuff from the living room." Aurora said. "Just for the guests."

 “Oh, fine.” Amethyst pulled a face and then went to pick up her stuff. “I’ll come help you in a sec.”

 Aurora gave a smile at that. "Thank you. I do appreciate it."

 “What time is it now? Fuck, I’ll have to get dressed properly.” Amethyst was still in her sleeping shirt.

 "You can just chill in your room. No pressure to socialise with your teachers first thing in the morning. Ruby and Sapphire are coming, though."

 “Oh hey, cool! I’ll think about it. If I’m sober I should probably...” Amethyst shuddered. “Study.”

“Oh, I can help with that, if you want!” Pearl said, brightly. “I mean, I’m taking some stuff over to Rose’s later but I don’t have to do it right away.”

 "Oh, that would be nice." Aurora said over preparing the canapes. "Sorry for walking out on your confrontation, girls."

 “That’s okay,” Amethyst said, “We managed to sort it out. How’s your girlfriend?”

 "The principal is... running an errand for her friend."

 “We’re not supposed to ask too many questions about it,” Pearl said. “Super secret business.”

“Ohh. Is she going after the Roxy woman? Wait, didn’t you say Rose was gone as well?” Amethyst raised her eyebrows.

 "Ugh. Just don't leak it further. It's meant to be confidential."

 “Oh, alright. Well, it’s probably good I’m not gonna be stoned out of my mind,” Amethyst said, “otherwise I’d forget we’re not supposed to talk about it.” She joined Aurora in the kitchen. “Still need help?”

 "Nearly done. Just tidy up a bit, please."

 “Alright,” Amethyst said, picking up her stuff from the coffee table. There was... quite a lot of it. “Sorry, should tidy more often.”

“I’ll help you,” Pearl said. “I need to tidy up as well, I feel like most of my stuff has gotten mixed up with yours at this point.”

 "Oh, yes. I think you mentioned moving out tonight, Pearl?"

 “Yeah. But not for a few hours.”

“Okay, I think that’s everything,” Amethyst said, carrying an armful of stuff out of the living room.

Pearl followed her. “Were you serious about studying?”

 Aurora watched them leave, relieved that the tension of the previous night had not remained. About five minutes later, the door rang. She went to open it.

 Ruby and Sapphire were there. “Hey, Rori!” Ruby said. “How’s it going?”

 "Not too bad! Just a bit tired, had a few wild days. Gonna take a 'me day' after this is done." Aurora beckoned them in. "Feel free to chill in the living room. I'll bring snacks."

 Sapphire followed Ruby in, looking around. “Are Pearl and Amy not around?” she asked softly.

 "They are. Might be chilling in Amy's bedroom. Not sure how up they are for socialising but you guys can probably go and say hi."

 “Alright!” Ruby took Sapphire’s hand and tugged her towards Amethyst’s room just as the doorbell rang again.

 Aurora watched them go before opening the door. "Oh, hey! Glad you could make it, guys!"

 Lapis stepped inside, followed by Jasper and Peridot. “Hey,” she said. “You sure this pad isn’t too small for all of us?” She looked around. “Wow, okay, I stand corrected. This is bigger than ours.”

 "Yeah, should be fine." Aurora blushed, leading them into the living room. "Drinks?"

 “Yeah, sure!” Jasper said. “What do you have?”

“I’d like lemonade, if you have any,” Peridot chimed in.

 "I can do lemonade." Aurora nodded. "Got coffee, juice, a few teas."

 “Tea, please,” Lapis said, echoed by Jasper. In that moment, Sapphire and Ruby came back into the living room and tried to find seats that weren’t occupied, and ended up with Sapphire sitting on Ruby’s lap.

“Pearl and Amy won’t be joining us,” Sapphire said.

 "Understandable." Aurora nodded. "So. That leaves us all. Feel free to pass messages onto anyone involved who isn't here."

 It was then that Lapis looked around. “Where’s Quartz?” she said. “Isn’t she a part of this as well?”

 "Well, that's the thing. She's out of the country, with Marigold." Aurora swallowed.

 “Oh. Well, that explains why she was absent yesterday,” Peridot said. “What’s the deal with that, what are they doing? It’s the middle of the exam season.”

 "Unfortunately, that part I can't quite fill you in on. It's rather private." Aurora sighed. "It's all been totally out of the blue and I really wish I knew more, myself."

 “Private?” Lapis raised an eyebrow.

“Is it Roxy?” Jasper threw in.

 Aurora screamed at the heavens. "Yes! But it's meant to be hush hush!"

   “Be that as it may,” Sapphire said, “this isn’t why we’re here, is it? We still need to decide how to act with regards to the Principal.”

 Aurora took a deep breath. "So. About that. We've had a bit of a development with... Marigold herself."

 “Oh yeah, you mentioned something the other day,” Lapis said.

Sapphire gave Aurora a look from behind her fringe. “What is it?”

 "So." Aurora wondered how far to go. "During the pride event we held at the school, Marigold kind of went through a... positive experience and we actually had the chance to talk out with some of her issues in a way that let her confront it from... a different perspective."

Peridot frowned. “Okay, well, that all sounds positive. Do you think it’ll last?”

 "Well. I did have a public date with her the other night." Aurora bit her lip.

 “Oho, spicy,” Lapis said. “Didn’t she abuse you?”

Jasper nudged her. Lapis shot her a look, and rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

 "Yes. I guess she did. But... she's also apologised and admitted to her misconduct. I'm sure we probably could've been able to ask her to apologise to a few other things she did, had she not flown off like that..."

 “I think she should release a statement,” Lapis said. “The school deserves that much. The students do. God knows we’ve had way too many students suffer from her homophobia.”

“Yeah,” Ruby said. “If she’s really reformed, she has to prove it. Own up to it publicly.”

 Aurora paled, but could only nod. "Yes, I do see why you'd request that. I'll... see what I can do in regards to asking her for something like that. Could we perhaps then focus on making a list of what we'd like for her to apologise for?"

 “Harassing queer staff and students,” Jasper said.

“Not even just queer ones,” Ruby threw in. “She yells at anyone who she thinks is a little bit too close. Sorry. Uh. Yelled.”

“She should apologise for suspending Ruby, and also Rose,” Sapphire said, “since her reason for suspending Rose was an alleged relationship with a same-sex student.”

“D’you think she’d let it slide if one of them had been a guy?” Ruby asked.

“It’s possible.”

 "I doubt it... although... Pearl was of age when it all happened, so maybe she would've kept a blind eye." Aurora shrugged but then picked her tablet and wrote a few notes. "Any other grievances?"

 A pregnant silence fell.

“Wasn’t there that kid who killed themselves?” Ruby then said.

��Aurora turned stiff. "Yes. There was."

 “What was her name again?” Peridot said. “I’m not sure I’ve heard any details about that.”

 "He. A kid, Lars, committed suicide. He was in my year. A few people point fingers to Marigold because she put her foot down on disallowing him to socially transition at school." Aurora swallowed. "And a few other things, but... she was certainly not the only one complicit in his deterioration."

 “I heard she was wildly transphobic when dealing with him,” Sapphire said. “Is that true? Were you at school then?”

 "Yes." Aurora nodded. "He was never... very harshly bullied but much more isolated after coming out. We didn't really understand, at that time." She looked away. "And neither did Marigold."

 “Huh. Well, if she had a part in it, she should definitely apologise for that,” Jasper said. “Driving queer kids to suicide is never okay.”

 “Indeed.” Aurora looked downcast as she finished typing more notes, feeling awkward. "Right! I shouldn't forget the canapes I made!"

 “You made canapes?” Lapis quirked a brow. “Impressive.”

“I’m starving,” Ruby said.

“We had breakfast before we left,” Sapphire reminded them gently.

“Yeah, but that was ages ago!”

 Aurora smiled as she brought a tray over. "There's enough for everyone, so feel free to have some anyway."

 Ruby immediately reached out for them. “These look great!” they said, taking a few.

Peridot took some as well. “So, like, is that everything with regards to the Principal? And what do we do now, do the Crystal Gems still exist?”

 "That's the thing, I feel that with Marigold at last temporarily out of the picture and with signs of recovery... we really should think about focusing our efforts elsewhere. You can do whatever you want with the group, but I'm leaving the school after the summer, anyway."

 “Well, this was a useless trip here, then,” Lapis said, “I was hoping for some beef. But whatever.”

“Be nice,” Peridot said, “there’s obviously a lot of stuff going on here.”

“But we don’t have to stay and sit in awkwardness for another half hour, do we?” Jasper asked, shooting an apologetic smile at Aurora.

 "Ah, that's why I made the canapes!" Aurora gave a beam. "If anything, treat this get together like a little farewell party?"

 Lapis reached out for the canapes. “Sure, we can do that. I’m sure Diamond will be sad to see you go.”

“We will be as well,” Jasper threw in.

Ruby stretched. “Right,” they said, “I’m gonna go hang with Amy and Pearl. You coming, Sapphy?”

 "Already on my way." Sapphire grabbed a canape and joined them.

Aurora flushed as she sat down. "Yes. But I think the distance will be good. It's been a wild few years but I'll miss it a great deal. I mostly took it to look after Pearl and, well. I've nearly completed that duty."

 “Understandable,” Peridot said.

“Pearl has certainly grown a lot this year,” Jasper said. “I don’t see her as much as I used to, but it’s been obvious even from afar.”

 "Yeah, I guess that happens when you go through a lot." Aurora gave a sombre laugh. "I'm sure she's going to do well and flourish at university after all this trouble at school."

 “She’s a troubled one,” Jasper said, “she’ll always have some stuff going on. But she’ll deal with it.”

 Aurora gave a curt laugh. “Goodness, Pearl might be an occasional mess, but she’s receiving treatment. Amy, on the other hand... well. I think she needs more support than ever, you know.”

Lapis glanced up at this, her expression for once conveying genuine surprise. “Oh?”

Aurora blushed as she looked around, her voice growing quiet. “It’s wholly inappropriate for me to gossip, so I’ll keep it brief, but she’s been slowly falling off the wagon since she’s come here. Don’t get me wrong, she needed to leave her parents’, but I’m not her mother and I cannot and will not control her, you know? I learnt enough about that with Pearl.”

Lapis furrowed her brow. “Her essay scores have always been decent... I don’t recall her being too bad recently, if only a smidge disruptive since she’s started to sit with Pearl.”

 Peridot gave a small chuckle. “Well, you should’ve seen her in my classes. She’s... actually one of the ones I’m most concerned about this year. Haven’t you noticed anything?”

Jasper snorted. “Oh please, Lapis wouldn’t know a struggling student if they stared her in the face.”

Lapis immediately gave her a withering look.

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

Jasper trembled under her gaze, but held her ground. “Just that, you know, you’re not always the best with like. Empathy, and actually caring about other people, and the like.”

 Lapis opened her mouth, but then glanced around to see everyone occupying the room at her for a response. She looked back at Jasper, her throat feeling too dry. “That’s just rude. Amethyst is a good student, she’s just unfocused, and who the hell can blame her? The current education system is not apt for everyone, some people are just better suited to studying their subject of interest. I mean, that’s what uni is for, right? Some kids just figure that part out early.”

“Yeah, well, most kids actually tend to show up to their lessons sober,” Peridot remarked.

Jasper couldn’t help but to laugh. “You know what intoxication feels like, then? And here I thought you were teetotal.”

“Am,” Peridot corrected. “I tried to be a ‘normal’ person at university once, you know.”

“I take it that lasted all of fresher’s, then.” Jasper smirked, and Peridot went very quiet.

 “Well, be that as it may,” Lapis said sharply, “I am not convinced Amethyst is a bad student. She’s got a knack for analysis, and likes participating in my classes. Maybe you just don’t teach her very well.”

Peridot snorted. “Yeah, right. She just likes you because you let her do what she wants.”

Aurora stepped in. “Okay, guys,” she said, “this isn’t really the time or place for all of this. The fact of the matter is that Amethyst isn’t in a particularly great place at the moment, and we’re doing what we can to help out. But for now, there’s not a great deal we can do.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Lapis said. “We should head off anyway. But I need to use the bathroom first. Where is it?”

 Aurora appeared to sense her energy and offered her a kind smile. “Just down the hall, past the Pearlmethyst room.”

Lapis gathered herself up. “Is that what you’re calling it, then?”

“Well, Pearl is kind of moving out... So it might just be the Amethyst room from now. I have no idea how Pearlie’s managed to keep her shit together sharing it. She’s usually surprisingly anal about keeping it neat for a teenager.”

Lapis heard the rest of the room chuckle somewhat to this as she left the room, pacing down to the bathroom. She glanced down a narrow corridor, and saw the door to the room Aurora had mentioned. She began to hear familiar voices as she drew nearer, her curiosity growing as she picked up the tone. Hmm. They were oddly strained. She pressed at the door a little, allowing it to drift ajar.

 “I just can’t do it, P!” Amethyst’s voice was a little louder than it needed to be, and Pearl hushed her almost immediately.

“Look, it’s really... not that hard, okay? We can go over it again.”

“But we’ve been over it three times already! I’m just too dumb for this. I’m just stupid and I’m never gonna amount to anything.”

Some shuffling could be heard, and a sigh. “We can take a break for now.”

“It’s not gonna change anything, is it?” Amethyst huffed. “I’m just too stupid for any of this. I can’t get my stupid brain to work and I’ll just be dumb and useless for my entire life.”

 A new voice. Lapis recognised it as Ruby. “Hey. Don’t say that about yourself. Your grades don’t say anything about your worth as a person.”

“Then why the fuck do I have to do any of this?” Amethyst suddenly cried out. “Like. Any of it? For university? That I’m not even going to bother going to?”

“I mean, it’s not too late to apply.” Sapphire’s voice was gentle. “There’s still going to be clearing, and lots of courses you can-“

“I’m so fucking done with school, man. I’m so done! I’m done with classes, and reports and tests I fucking fail at. I’m done of getting ‘see me’s and bad marks. I don’t even want to bloody go to results day, everyone else is gonna be so jazzed about their grades and I’m just going to be there with a handful of fails.” Her voice was beginning to crack. “Because that’s all I am. A failure.”

Lapis swallowed. She suddenly felt incredibly out of place. An intruder.

Amethyst’s crying became a little louder. “I’m not smart... like Pearl. And I can’t get in on a sports scholarship like you, Ruby, coz I - I’m shit at anything physical. Like, I guess I can tussle someone to the ground... but I can’t ever commit to something serious.”

“I got in through clearing after failing a bunch,” Sapphire tried again. “And no one saw it coming, not even me. I even got to go to the same uni as Ruby. Even if my family wasn’t as thrilled. But it didn’t matter, because it isn’t about anyone else. This is about what you can do.”

“And what CAN I do?” Amy snapped. “As if they’re just gonna let someone in who failed everything but English? And even with that, Lazuli still seems to fucking hate me. It’s the - it’s the only class I thought I could do good in, and she hates me, too, just like the rest of them.”

 Lapis’ heart felt like it had dropped to the floor. She stood, quivering a little. Jasper and Peridot’s words from earlier stung. She really didn’t know anything about her students.

“Yeah, well. Lazuli is a cunt,” Ruby muttered.

“Hey, quiet. I swear she’s in the other roo,” Pearl muttered. “I mean, what Ruby’s trying to say is that I’m sure Lazuli barely likes anyone. She seems to hate me, too. And I’ve got a decent rep between the teachers.”

“Yeah,” Sapphire agreed, “she does seem to hate everyone. You’d think it would hurt her to show that she actually gives a shit.”

That hurt, again. Lapis turned, gritting her teeth. I shouldn’t be here.

She tore herself away, but not before hearing the mutters of agreement from the others in the room. The words kept playing back in her mind, as did Peridot’s and Jasper’s, and Lapis found herself wondering if there was anyone who had faith in her.

 As she stepped near the bathroom, she found herself oddly close to bitter tears, too. Her students thought she was a cunt. Principal Diamond could be called a cunt. She’d actually hurt people and damaged their reputations. Lapis wasn’t like that, was she? Was she?

She locked the bathroom door, facing the mirror. Her own reflection seemed to show a face that was rather torn in frustration and upset. What was she even doing at the school if her own pupils thought of her so poorly? And Amethyst. Was everyone really so ready to call her a lost cause. Off the wagon. Treat her like gossip at her own home?

Her blood boiled. The final English exam for her class was amongst that of the last few.

Her fist curled. She could fix things. She had to.

If not for herself, then perhaps for the girl who needed support the most.

 --

 A few hours later, Pearl found herself in front of Rose’s house. She fished the key out of her bag... and hesitated.

Greg would be there.

Rose wanted her to get along with him.

Pearl sighed, then unlocked the door and put down her bag.

“...Hello?”

 The door creaked open, revealing the hallway inside. The typically tidy shoerack seemed to have its usual inhabitants absent. Greg’s voice was faint, he was once again on the phone, tone somewhat uncharacteristically annoyed. It appeared, from his ongoing conversation, that he had not heard Pearl.

 Pearl sighed again, came inside and took off her shoes to add them to the shoerack. It sounded like Greg was in the living room. She debated just heading to the spare room. But it would be impolite not to make herself known.

She opened the door to the living room and poked her head in.

 “I said, I don’t care! I’m keeping my head outta it, pal.” Greg sat on the sofa, leaning forward with a foot drumming the carpet, his sandal causing a steady ryhythm. “I got away from this entire situation years ago, and I sure as heck ain’t getting dragged right back. Geeze!”

He finally sighed as the muffled noise from the other end ceased, leaning back and letting his phone drop on the sofa. Greg briefly closed his eyes, running a hand to brush his mane of hair back.

 Pearl grimaced and shifted awkwardly, opening the door and stepping in. “Uh,” she said. “Hi?”

 Greg immediately glanced up and then lifted his hand to deliver an embarassed wave. “Oh, man. Hey. Totally forgot you were swinging by today. Hope you didn’t have to hear too much of that.”

 “It’s... fine,” Pearl said. “Uh, I... I will be staying for... a few weeks. You knew that, right?”

 “Oh, yeah!” His reply was not entirely convincing. “The spare room, yeah? Oh man, Rose told me about the previous time you stayed there.”

 Pearl pulled a face. “That was... not a great time,” she said. “Er, I’ll... be upstairs?”

 “Sure! Lemme know if you, uh... need any help?” Greg looked around. “Though, the bed stuff should all be there.”

 “I’m sure I’ll be okay. Thanks, though.” Pearl backed out of the room. “I’ll see you later, I guess.”

 “Oh... Okay. I’ll... I guess I’ll just stay here.” Greg watched her leave and sighed again as he heard her travel upstairs.

This was going to be a long few weeks, it seemed.

[hillywooddestiel]

Low Swings

Characters: Peter Parker x reader (platonic), Tony (briefly)

Warnings: there aren’t really any, just Peter feeling a little down I guess and lots of sarcasm

Word count: 1.6k

Description: When you work with a partner, it’s hard to prevent things from getting competitive. Things are no different in the world of superheroes. It may start as a silly race to see who is the best for the purposes of bragging rights but sometimes, the race can overtake your judgement.

A/N: Hello again! This is for two different challenges (@until-theend-oftheline Kari’s 1k MCU writing challenge and @hollandroos Soph’s 12k writing challenge). Congratulations to you both on the milestones and my prompts are in bold below. Little disclaimer, I wrote a Peter Parker fic a while ago and stole the reader character from that for her powers and personality. You can read it as a prequel, sequel whatever but the two stories are not linked. Enjoy xx Marvel Masterlist

Story:

“I got him!” Y/N speaks seemingly to no one while keeping her eyes locked on the man in the balaclava sprinting below her in the alley. She jumps gracefully from building to building with practiced ease, managing the large gaps like a child hopping across a small puddle. Her movement is reminiscent of a cat leaping from one climbing post to another.

“I thought you said I could get this one! I have to be able to tell Mr Stark I’m doing my job!” Peter whines into her earpiece, swinging from his webs a few blocks away. He was busy chasing down yet another bike thief across town when Karen informed him of a man armed with a gun escaping the scene of a robbery and that Y/N was on her way. No way was he going to let her get the guy first.

“And so do I! I can’t help it that I’m better than you.” She rolls her eyes, not that he can see but he should be used to it by now, before glancing back to see the red and blue clad hero getting closer. Immediately she picks up the pace in response, increasing the strain on her muscles and lungs. The pain she’ll feel tomorrow is worth it though, to get a ‘well done kiddo’ from Stark and rights to rub it in Parker’s smug face until the next time. The conviction tally currently stands 27:26 to Y/N. Not that anyone’s counting or anything like that.

“Please! I’ll do your homework for a week.” He pleads, the thwip of his web shooters audible in the background through the earpiece.

“Sure, cos I want lower grades than I’m currently getting.” Y/N taunts. Spotting a chance to get closer, she leaps down to a rusty fire escape and swiftly descends the ladder. Upon hearing her footsteps clanging on the metal, the criminal’s eyes widen in fear and he speeds up. Somebody wasn’t expecting super heroes to be in the area.

“I’ll buy you a pizza!”

“Tempting but no.”

“I’ll stop calling you Frazzles!”

“No! You’re not having this one!”

“Aw come on Frazzles!” Peter takes a break on top of a satellite tower to watch the chase and plan his next move. Y/N is quickly gaining on the guy despite not having the same enhanced capabilities as Peter (such as his stamina and speed) and she hasn’t even had to zap him yet with one of her self-produced lasers- show off! Amazingly, this thief is still going after running from the scene of the robbery nearly twenty minutes ago (most people get tired after five or make a mistake with a wrong turn that lands them in the arms of the police or a sticky web). Perhaps they’re one of the various people with powers emerging across the city.

Peter spies an opportunity coming up ahead on the next turn to land him the capture and immediately swings in it’s direction. Y/N notices his change of course straight away in her peripheral vision.

“Spidey, what are you doing?” she asks, mentally kicking herself for not being suspicious of the radio silence. Silence often- scratch that- always means he’s up to something.

“My job!” He grunts with the effort, swinging feet first into Y/N and knocking her flying sideways. She lands inside an open locker unceremoniously on her ass with a crash. Only Peter misjudged the strength needed to sabotage his partner and flies in after her, landing on top of her in fact, with the metal door hinges whining shut. The lock clicks, trapping them inside.

“Ah my ankle!” He hisses into the pitch black.

“Oh boo hoo! At least you didn’t have a 200 pound spider kick you in the chest and land on top of you!” Y/N huffs aggressively, smacking him over the head to get him to move.

“I can’t see.”

“Great detective work genius! Hang on…” Y/N scowls, producing light from her hands as easy and taking a breath. The locker is very small leaving little to no room for personal space and it stinks like an unattended public toilet.

“Mr Stark is not gonna be happy with us…”

“Us? I’m sorry, how did we end up locked in here? Oh that’s right; you attacked me!”

“I was just trying to get you out of the way so I could get the guy first. I didn’t think-”

“Yeah, you didn’t think. You didn’t focus on the mission, you focused on beating me. Not everything is a contest Parker.” Y/N’s voice softens. She looks to Peter noticing his downtrodden attitude.

“I just… I really want to impress Mr Stark. If I do really well, he might actually make me an Avenger for real.”

“Peter…” she starts, feeling guilty for snapping at him earlier.

Peter always says he wants to be an Avenger, ever since he came back from Germany, it’s a constant thing. Y/N was offered the chance to go as well but she was so close to busting a drug ring in the city that she had to turn it down (she also didn’t want to join in the fight for Tony’s sake since she actually sided with Steve). Once they returned home, Stark introduced her to Peter as someone to work with but also as someone to keep a close eye on. Things soon inevitably became competitive between the pair.

“Okay, I can’t believe I’m about to say this… you can get the next one.” Peter’s head perks up from where it was rested in his hands.

“Wait really?”

“Really. Now let’s get out of here.” Y/N turns to face the door again. She takes a deep breath, focusing her energy on her outstretched palm and feeling the warmth concentrating in the center. The soft light becomes a streamlined beam and slices through the metal door like a hot knife through butter. Her line is shaky but eventually she cuts out a small doorway allowing herself and Peter to escape their dank prison.

Avoiding the burning white melted metal, the duo step out into the alley again, the criminal they were chasing nowhere to be seen. Typical- they never stick around for their local crime fighters and wait to be caught. The only life in the shady corner is a stray black and white kitten.

“Where do you think he went?” Peter asks, scanning the nearby area for heat signatures with the help of his suit.

“I dunno! I’ll interrogate the cat.” Y/N kneels down and coaxes the kitty over by clicking her tongue, stroking it’s fluffy fur gingerly with her outstretched hand, “Hey buddy, are you lost? Can we help you find your home?”

“It’s a stray Frazzles. Keep stroking it and it’ll follow us home.” Peter rolls his eyes behind his mask.

“Do you need a home? You can come with me if you want.” She smiles as the kitten purrs in her hand, her voice becoming increasingly more babyish.

“Y/N! Let’s go!”

“Hold on!” She scoops up the ball of fur, “Consider this mission a success, we saved Catasha Meowmanoff from a life on the streets.”

“Your mom isn’t going to let you keep it ya know?”

“That’s why she’s not going to find out. And you’re not going to tell her!” Y/N warns Peter, a threatening tone detectable in her voice as she lowers the kitten to the floor. She prowls around the bedroom floor and sniffs the hanging bed sheets with uncertainty, tiny claws catching on the soft carpet. A flash of red catches her eye and she pounces on it, swatting at the light with her little paws in the hopes of capturing it. The said light originates from Peter’s suit and he grins like a child as Catasha almost climbs the wall to get at the laser.

“Ok, I’ll admit she’s pretty cute.”

“See!” Y/N grins victorious, ”… But it goes without saying, no one is to find out about the name. Especially Natasha. I’d like to keep my head attached to my shoulders.” Y/N absentmindedly rubs her hand over the back of her head, right over the spot when Nat last swatted her with a magazine (she set Nat’s ringtone to ‘Black Widow’ by Rita Ora and the world class assassin heard it go off when they both happened to be at the compound at the same time).

“I think she’d probably kill me too so yeah, deal.” Peter scratches Catasha behind her ears, knowing very well of Natasha’s capabilities. But, as much as he would love to play with a ball of fur, there are people to save and crimes to stop so he has to leave. Mask on, Peter steps out onto the fire escape outside Y/N’s bedroom window just as he gets an incoming call alert for Tony Stark.

“Peter! I trust you and Sunshine are playing nicely. I have a new job for you two, organised gang fights in condemned buildings near you. You are still interested in helping out the ‘neighborhood’ as a ‘friendly’ crime fighter, right?” He can tell there were some air quotes made on Tony’s end of the line.

“Yeah yeah y-yeah I’m-I- we’ll get on it right away Mr Stark, sir.”

“Mrrow!”

“What was that?”

“A cat. Stray cat. Not a house cat, a stray cat. Stray, not a pet.” Peter fumbles with his words while Y/N glares at him with eyes begging him to shut up.

“Right… keep up the good work kid.” Tony hangs up; he’s a busy man after all. Looking to Y/N through the mask, his white spider eyes widen.

“We’ve got another job to do.”

[glitterarygetsit]

Executive function question

Friends, romans, tumblrfolk, I have a question around executive function/ADHD/depression/motivation stuff.

A fair few of my friends have ADHD/ADD, and I recognise some of the stuff they struggle with in my own behaviour. A while ago I talked to my therapist who sent me to the Wender-Utah Rating Scale, and I got the cutoff score--basically, “if you got more than this you probably have ADHD”. But I didn’t have more. I was right on the edge.

I don’t think I have ADHD, but I do feel like my executive function is kind of borked after over a decade of depression, and I’m really struggling with getting stuff done. This is especially an issue as I’m a freelancer--I’m lucky in that my housing is secure at the moment and I don’t have to worry too much about money with the amount I have coming in, but it’s not enough long-term and I really want to be doing more. But I just can’t find the motivation, and even when I feel motivated I find myself struggling to start Doing The Thing, or taking a break after a short time and then struggling to get back into it. 

An example: for at least the last week, I have been meaning to watch the last forty minutes of an hour-long training video on a new software program I will eventually need to use. This is an abbreviated list of my attempts to watch this training video today:

- Wake up. Have no immediate tasks to do. Think “I should watch that training video today.” - Sit at my computer, where the training is already open in a different tab - Do some work on my accounts spreadsheet instead. - Think: “I’ll just make myself a cup of tea and then do the training.” - Make a cup of tea - Pull all my clothes out of the closet and start sorting away the summer clothes - Consider watching my training video - Make a cup of tea - Send my bio and a photo to the organiser of an event I’m involved in - Sit down to watch the video. Open Spotify and pick out some music instead. - Do a bit more clothes-sorting - Make a cup of tea - Text with friends about politics - Go to the Amazon pickup locker nearby to pick up a delivery - Leaf through the book I just picked up - Sit down at my computer - Look through old emails for some information a friend might find useful. - Ask myself what is stopping me from watching the video - Conclude that maybe I’m intimidated because it’s for a new program and I’m worried I won’t get it all at once? - Point out to myself that I don’t have to get it all at once. I can watch the video as many times as I need, and the first time I can make it super low-involvement and just watch. Decide that I don’t even have to make notes. - Excellent. I’ll make myself a cup of tea and get right to it. - Get distracted and mostly finish sorting my clothes - Make a cup of tea - Sit down at the computer - Go to the IKEA website and look at storage solutions - Get up several times to measure my shelves - Write an email to my landlord - Sit at computer with the training open in a different tab, writing this post

Seriously, friends, what the shit is up with this? Is this normal? Surely not! I remember times when I was Not Depressed when I just... got stuff done. And I’m pretty decently medicated now! I’m not sad or mopey--my task list just sort of filters through my fingers like sand. (Side note: I often feel like this about money, too. I find it very hard to control things that seem to have many moving parts--deadlines, tasks, bills, income, assignments, groceries, etc all just sort of flow together. Not currently being under financial pressure is a privilege, but it has not and will not always be like that, which means I worry about getting into financial trouble in future.) I always get some stuff done, but never as much I feel I should be able to do. And there are some things that just get eternally shunted down the to-do list, even though I know one day they’re going to be urgent.

Does this ring any bells for people? I’m sort of hoping someone might recognise it and go “ah yes, that sounds like Fuzzy Brain Syndrome, go read up on that” or at least have some serious resources or hacks I can use.

I’ve found that some suggestions aimed at ADHD folks have been useful to me--e.g. removing the steps involved in actions, and trying to combine small tasks (e.g doing some dishes while waiting for the kettle to boil) but I’m really struggling with work stuff. What do, Tumblr? I’d be very grateful for any advice!

[kenjiro-s]

Complementary Colours, Ch. 1 - A SuguYaku fanfiction

Based on the one lonely piece of fanart by narcissusbutterfly.tumblr.com - http://narcissusbutterfly.tumblr.com/post/160280804640/yaku-morisuke-snake-trainer-cause-he-knows   - I saw it and it made so much sense someone had to write it.

 Morisuke loved weddings, he really did, but sometimes…sometimes he wished people would take the easy way out and keep it as simple as possible. True, wedding supplied roughly half of his business, and yet in moments like this, he wondered if he couldn’t keep it afloat without them. The woman currently screaming at his face was an image he’d seen up close and personal way too many times, but the bad thing was that this one in particular didn’t have the excuse of being the bride. Said future bride, looking younger than Morisuke’s 25 years, was standing meekly to the side in silence and letting her mother walk all over her. He had to say something, but the shouting woman wasn’t giving him many openings.

- …and I just don’t get why you won’t even try to do it ! It’s my baby girl’s special day and you’re just trying to get your money without doing the minimum required work and I just can’t… - He tried not to sigh.

- Madam, I have been in this business for years and I can assure you, - She opened her mouth to keep going but Morisuke simply raised his voice. – ornamental garlic blooms do not come in red. Any shade of red. They come in purple, blue, yellow and white, but not in red.

- And you won’t even try to find some ? What kind of lazy business model are you running, huh ? Won’t even make an effort ! I will be taking my business elsewhere, thank you very much. I want my deposit back !

- Now, madam…

- No ! You’re ruining my baby’s special day ! Her flowers won’t match the theme colours ! It will look terrible ! Think of that ! Her wedding will be a complete failure, and it will be all your fault !

- Mom… - Apparently, the younger woman was getting just as tired from the situation as Morisuke.

-  How do you live with yourself ? Huh ? How ? How do you sleep at night ?

- Mom…

- I assure you, madam...

- No ! Give me my deposit back ! We have no time but I will find someone who will do their job !

- Mom ! Stop it ! – The word bounced around the shop in the dead silence that followed. The only other customer who’d been pouring over the fertilizer shelf while acting out he wasn’t listening to the conversation, froze. Fukunaga, just glanced up, his usual calm exterior not betraying anything, and then went back to sorting through the carnations. – Just, stop ! Here, we’ll just go and talk it through, and then come back later today, okay ?

- Chiyuki, I am just trying to make your special day perfect. And it will be gorgeous…

- There’s no need to shout at people for it to be perfect. Let’s go. – The older woman didn’t move. – I said, let’s go, mom ! – And then she marched out of the shop like a queen. Huh. She had a spine, after all. Her mother, on the other hand, just glared back at Morisuke, huffed with her nose up in the air, and ran after her daughter without even a touch of the same grace.

- Man, you get scenes like this often ? – The other customer was standing at the counter with a handful of yellow roses.

- You’d be surprised. – The man’s pitying look was obviously exaggerated but it made him laugh. – Yellow roses ? An interesting choice. – The customer rubbed his neck, cheeks going lightly pink. Obviously embarrassed, he scratched at the buzzed off part of his undercut and sighed.

- Yeah, I messed up. I think. Not sure if, you know, he’ll be mad, but can’t go wrong with roses, right ? – The amount of desperate hope was adorable. And the man was obviously doing his best “puppy” impression, with large chocolate eyes shining from under his long blond fringe. There was only one small problem.

- You sure can’t. Let me ask you, though. If you don’t mind, who are they for ?

- Um, this guy I’ve been trying to score a date with ? We’ve been kind of missing each other a few times and it’s not his fault or anything, but I managed to screw up and want to apologise. It will be our first official date. Have to make a great impression and all, you know ? And he seems like the kind of guy who would like yellow roses. Not too forward or romantic, but still a gesture ? Sweet, but not too much ? Why ?

- Because yellow roses mean “friendship”. Or, “friendly appreciation”. – The customer’s face fell. It almost made Morisuke want to apologise for ruining his day. – And I don’t think that’s what you want.

- Oh. No, I guess I don’t. Can you recommend me something else, then ? I am pretty sure he doesn’t speak flower, but now that I know that, I won’t be able to focus on our date because I’ll be overthinking it. Or he could check it out and it will be over. – It was definitely cute how worried the customer was over it.

- Well, if you want to avoid the love declarations and marriage proposals on your first date, I’d say go with…Fukunaga ! – His friend blinked at him. – Do we have any of the yellow roses with the red in the back ? We have only three here. – Fukunaga just rose from the carnations display and disappeared behind the “Employees Only” door.

- He doesn’t talk much, does he ? Yellow with red ? Should I be worried about those ?

- They could also mean “friendship” but I’d say that if he checks, he will read “falling in love”. Better ?

- Much. Thanks, man. You’re saving my life here. First dates, right ? – The wide smile almost covered the shaky nervousness but still. The man was friendly enough. – Oh, can you put a ribbon ? But nothing too over-the-top. Don’t want him to feel pressured.

- Of course.

- He works in this extra fancy café, you know. And I know art and things that go together, and that place is like a designer’s wet dream. – An interesting way to say it, but Morisuke just hummed in agreement and kept pulling out ribbons to compare the colours. – The prices are all right, which is weird, but anyway. It’s super stylish so he’s used to being around pretty things and pretty desserts all day. I just want to make an impression. If you ever need a cupcake that could be on the cover of a magazine… - And then he slid a business card on the counter.

- Trying to win points with him by advertising the business ? – That got him to laugh.

- No need for that, their tea is more than enough. Oh, man, this is gorgeous !

  He’d gone simple, with a ribbon in the exact same yellow as the roses, and made the least pretentious bow he could. It looked, in his opinion, pretty without being too much. And so did the customer, if his expression was a sign.

- You got tattoos ? – Where had that come from ? He just shook his head. – Cool. If you ever decide you want one, give me a call. I’ll give you a discount. – A second business card fell on the counter. – I love it ! Thanks again ! – And with a final wave, the customer left, comfortable silence filling up the shop after him.

 Morisuke picked the two business cards. One was All black and silver, advertising “Terushima Yuuji, Tattoo Artist”, with chains and skills elements, and contact information. It somehow worked without being too much. The man apparently really had an eye for those things. The other was in deep royal purple, also with silver elements, but with much simpler decorations. Clean, abstract outline of a cupcake, looking like it’d been drawn with a silver pen, and the name of the place. Also pretty. He opened the box with business cards he kept on hand – dealing with different kinds of events sometimes called for desperate measures and he’d found out early enough than one could never have too many connections and no industry was too far from catering. It was simply smart to keep everything organised.

 In the late afternoon a few hours later, Morisuke found himself scrolling through social media. The shop was in order, Fukunaga was drawing quietly behind the counter and it was the quietest part of the day. Going on impulse, he googled the studio first. One had to know what their connections were really worth.

 The website listed tattoos and piercing, with, respectively, Terushima Yuuji as the artist and Bobata Kazuma as the piercing expert. Morisuke had never really wanted a tattoo but he had to admit the photos were beautiful. Completely different from the classic yakuza style, they were more Western in design and colours, and were simply beautiful. The piercings didn’t make much sense and he’d never thought people would want holes on those body parts, but, to each their own. Apparently, the business was booming since there were a few warnings about a waiting list and long waiting periods.

 The café’s website was strangely similar. Purple and silver dominated the whole thing, but it was really ordered and, judging by the photos, they were legit and not stolen from wherever the baker had taken the recipes. And, okay, he had to admit his customer had been right. Those were gorgeous. Slowly going down the page, Morisuke couldn’t help but wonder how did the creator, because calling them simply “baker” seemed like an insult, could do things like that. They appeared to sell a mix of traditional Japanese dessers in both their natural look and with one or another trendy twist ( there was glitter, shine and tall chocolate structures ), and, unless he was mistaken, European pastries in vibrant colours. Also, there was a long list of fancy coffee drinks and almost as long one of teas. Impressive.  

 He didn’t usually go on impulse but the woman in the morning had taken all of his energy and he needed recharging.

- Fukunaga. – The questioning look he received was basically a long declaration coming from the other man. – I’ll go get some tea. Will you be okay by yourself ? I shouldn’t be long, it’s close. – All he got was a small nod. Good. He waved and checked the directions again on his phone.

 It was surprising he hadn’t stumbled upon the café on his was to work at any point. It was just one alley away from his everyday path to the shop.

   The customer hadn’t been lying. Judging from the exterior, someone had poured a lot of imagination in the place. Of course, it all depended on the food, but Morisuke was optimistic. A bell jingled when he opened the door and he was assaulted with cozy warm air that carried the scent of cinnamon and apples. Also, coffee. Closing the door as quickly as possible to keep the snow outside, he stepped in the almost empty café. Only one of the tables was occupied, a man in a huge sweater with two laptops and an assortment of small colourful…things on a pretty plate in front of him, seemingly deep in whatever was happening on the screens. Otherwise, it was empty, Morisuke blaming the same lull that happened around this time in his shop, too. It was between lunch break and the end of the day. Also, there was an actual fireplace. Huh.

 Cozy place, he decided, looking around. Lots of bits and pieces scattered around but it looked closer to his flower shop than a mess – someone had taken great care to create such an artistic mess without making it stuffy and overcrowded. He approved.

 The glass display by the counter was a different thing. Unlike the interior, there was nothing messy or disorganized about it. Rows upon rows of neatly placed…he wasn’t sure if calling them “desserts” was good enough, but that’s what they were supposed to be. In front of each row there was a card with the name in both Japanese and English ( or French, or something else he couldn’t recognise ), price…He leaned closer. Also, ingredients and nutrition information. Whoever had done it had covered all bases.

- Can I help you choose something ? – Morisuke didn’t jump only because in his line of work sudden movements usually meant broken flowers and nobody wanted that, especially not him. That didn’t mean he was happy. The guy on the other side of the display had gotten closer without making a sound and his small smile was just a touch annoying, though Morisuke couldn’t put his finger on why.

- Just looking, thank you.

- You sure ? I know we have a lot of things. I started recently and, trust me, the first few days all I did was fetch stuff to learn where it is. It could get overwhelming. – And then he slid the small smile back on his face, shrugging a little.

- You know what ? Sure. My friend likes something called London Fog, do you do that here ? And what would you recommend with it ? – The slow blink he got almost made him laugh. To be fair, the first time Fukunaga had asked him to order him one when he’d done the coffee run, he’d reacted the same way. And he wasn’t even trying to be mean, that was the only thing Fukunaga drank. It was one of the oddities he’s learnt to live with since his friend was a hardworking man who knew what he was about. Just because he didn’t talk much and drank the vile, in Morisuke’s opinion, concoction, that didn’t mean he had something going on. He simply had a terrible taste.

- Well…Let me…Yamaguchi ! – A second man had just appeared behind the counter. Glancing up, Morisuke saw his face was splattered with freckles. Cute. His colleague smiled again and he realised why it bothered him. It came to his face too fast. Looked a bit practiced. – What goes with London Fog ?

 Straight to be point. Morisuke almost laughed at the waiting expression on the man’s face. He seemed to expect confusion and when he didn’t get even a moment of hesitation, said smile faded a little around the edges.

- Lemon cake or pastries. Why ? – The answer had come instantly and the man, Yamaguchi, looked between the two of them. – Is everything okay ?

- Um, yes. This gentleman was inquiring about it, that’s all. I wanted to make sure I was pairing the right things.

- Oh, of course. It’s got a pretty strong flavor so it makes sense. Would you like me to make it while you ring the order up ? It will be faster.

 Morisuke would’ve missed the relief that crossed the man’s face if he’d blinked at the wrong moment, it had gone that fast.

- So, what will it be ? – And, the wide smile was back. Morisuke narrowed his eyes.

- The latte… - More confusion. – The London Fog ? And I’ll have a latte with cinnamon on top. Also…something lemon ? – The man at the espresso machine pointed at the soft yellow sponge cakes on the left. – Yeah, one of those. Thank you. – He got a nod and turned back to the other side of the glass. – Oh, can I have a slice of the…Matcha Mille Crepe Cake ? Thank you.

 The slow, careful way the man was working the till contrasted sharply with the quick nimble gestures of his colleague. Started recently, huh ? But he’d been honest enough, and had called for help when put in an unfamiliar situation, and Morisuke could appreciate that. Though the polite smile was still annoying.

 While he’d been spacing out, his order had been put in a pretty box with a ribbon and a logo sticker. Unless he was mistaken, the ribbon was the same kind he used for centerpieces for events. Impressive.

- …and here is your change. Enjoy ! – He looked up. This close, he noticed for the first time the man had forest green highlights that almost blended with his dark hair, that perfectly matched his eyes, and an eyebrow piercing. And was currently observing him as closely as he was being observed. Morisuke took his change and turned, zipping up his coat.

- Thank you. Have a nice day. – Now he just had to remember the way back. Just because it was close, didn’t mean…there it was. And it seemed Fukunaga was handling it perfectly, judging by the wide smile of the only customer and how fast she was chatting. Good.

 Suguru Daisho didn’t like surprises. He didn’t like them one bit. And today, that one customer had managed to surprise him in the worst way possible. He hadn’t meant to look like he had no idea what he was doing, but what, the Hell, was London Fog ?

- Are you okay ? – He smiled lightly and turned to Yamaguchi. The concern in his voice was sweet but it felt too close to pity for Suguru’s comfort. Not only had the other man seen him deep in confusion but he’d also had to save the situation.

- Yeah, sure. I was just caught a bit unaware, that’s all. – The concerned expression faded to a soft smile. Good.

- Trust me, I know how you feel. I think the first time Kawanishi told me to fetch something for a customer I froze for a whole minute. He just told me to walk around the display and look at the tags. – Yamaguchi shrugged a little. – Not my proudest moment. I actually put cards on the back of the display, too. You know what ? I will go and put them back.

 Great. He didn’t need someone to go so out of their way to make things easier for him just because he didn’t know the names of everything yet.

- Thank you, but…

- No, no, it’s okay. Futakuchi still runs around every time someone orders something. It will make it easier for everyone. Sorry I didn’t think about it earlier ! – Why was he apologising ?

- It’s okay. So, you got a list with all the secret drinks people order ?

- You mean, the ones people never order ? Actually, I do. Here, let me show you…