#is my p9int here | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sarcasmprodigy · 4 years ago

Note

Can we get a kankri based dissertation please, lay it on us

9f c9urse.

Acc9rding t9 all kn9wn laws 9f aviati9n, there is n9 way a 6ee sh9uld 6e a6le t9 fly. Its wings are t99 small t9 get its fat little 69dy 9ff the gr9und. The 6ee, 9f c9urse, flies anyway 6ecause 6ees d9n't care what humans think is imp9ssi6le. Yell9w, 6lack. Yell9w, 6lack. Yell9w, 6lack. Yell9w, 6lack. 99h, 6lack and yell9w! Let's shake it up a little. 6arry! 6reakfast is ready! 99ming! Hang 9n a sec9nd. Hell9? - 6arry? - Adam? - Can y9u 6elieve this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick y9u up. L99king sharp. Use the stairs. Y9ur father paid g99d m9ney f9r th9se. S9rry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very pr9ud 9f y9u, s9n. A perfect rep9rt card, all 6's. Very pr9ud. Ma! I g9t a thing g9ing here. - Y9u g9t lint 9n y9ur fuzz. - 9w! That's me! - Wave t9 us! We'll 6e in r9w 118,000. - 6ye! 6arry, I t9ld y9u, st9p flying in the h9use! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, 6arry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduati9n. Never th9ught I'd make it. Three days grade sch99l, three days high sch99l. Th9se were awkward. Three days c9llege. I'm glad I t99k a day and hitchhiked ar9und the hive. Y9u did c9me 6ack different. - Hi, 6arry. - Artie, gr9wing a mustache? L99ks g99d. - Hear a69ut Frankie? - Yeah. - Y9u g9ing t9 the funeral? - N9, I'm n9t g9ing. Every69dy kn9ws, sting s9me9ne, y9u die. D9n't waste it 9n a squirrel. Such a h9thead. I guess he c9uld have just g9tten 9ut 9f the way. I l9ve this inc9rp9rating an amusement park int9 9ur day. That's why we d9n't need vacati9ns. 69y, quite a 6it 9f p9mp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, t9day we are men. - We are! - 6ee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished 6ees, please welc9me Dean 6uzzwell. Welc9me, New Hive 9ity graduating class 9f... ...9:15. That c9ncludes 9ur cerem9nies. And 6egins y9ur career at H9nex Industries! Will we pick 9urj96 t9day? I heard it's just 9rientati9n. Heads up! Here we g9. Keep y9ur hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - W9nder what it'll 6e like? - A little scary. Welc9me t9 H9nex, a divisi9n 9f H9nesc9 and a part 9f the Hexag9n Gr9up. This is it! W9w. W9w. We kn9w that y9u, as a 6ee, have w9rked y9ur wh9le life t9 get t9 the p9int where y9u can w9rk f9r y9ur wh9le life. H9ney 6egins when 9ur valiant P9llen J9cks 6ring the nectar t9 the hive. 9ur t9p-secret f9rmula is aut9matically c9l9r-c9rrected, scent-adjusted and 6u66le-c9nt9ured int9 this s99thing sweet syrup with its distinctive g9lden gl9w y9u kn9w as... H9ney! - That girl was h9t. - She's my c9usin! - She is? - Yes, we're all c9usins. - Right. Y9u're right. - At H9nex, we c9nstantly strive t9 impr9ve every aspect 9f 6ee existence. These 6ees are stress-testing a new helmet techn9l9gy. - What d9 y9u think he makes? - N9t en9ugh. Here we have 9ur latest advancement, the Krelman. - What d9es that d9? - Catches that little strand 9f h9ney that hangs after y9u p9ur it. Saves us milli9ns. Can any9ne w9rk 9n the Krelman? 9f c9urse. M9st 6ee j96s are small 9nes. 6ut 6ees kn9w that every small j96, if it's d9ne well, means a l9t. 6ut ch99se carefully 6ecause y9u'll stay in the j96 y9u pick f9r the rest 9f y9ur life. The same j96 the rest 9f y9ur life? I didn't kn9w that. What's the difference? Y9u'll 6e happy t9 kn9w that 6ees, as a species, haven't had 9ne day 9ff in 27 milli9n years. S9 y9u'll just w9rk us t9 death? We'll sure try. W9w! That 6lew my mind! "What's the difference?" H9w can y9u say that? 9ne j96 f9rever? That's an insane ch9ice t9 have t9 make. I'm relieved. N9w we 9nly have t9 make 9ne decisi9n in life. 6ut, Adam, h9w c9uld they never have t9ld us that? Why w9uld y9u questi9n anything? We're 6ees. We're the m9st perfectly functi9ning s9ciety 9n Earth. Y9u ever think may6e things w9rk a little t99 well here? Like what? Give me 9ne example. I d9n't kn9w. 6ut y9u kn9w what I'm talking a69ut. Please clear the gate. R9yal Nectar F9rce 9n appr9ach. Wait a sec9nd. 9heck it 9ut. - Hey, th9se are P9llen J9cks! - W9w. I've never seen them this cl9se. They kn9w what it's like 9utside the hive. Yeah, 6ut s9me d9n't c9me 6ack. - Hey, J9cks! - Hi, J9cks! Y9u guys did great! Y9u're m9nsters! Y9u're sky freaks! I l9ve it! I l9ve it! - I w9nder where they were. - I d9n't kn9w. Their day's n9t planned. 9utside the hive, flying wh9 kn9ws where, d9ing wh9 kn9ws what. Y9u can'tjust decide t9 6e a P9llen J9ck. Y9u have t9 6e 6red f9r that. Right. L99k. That's m9re p9llen than y9u and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status sym69l. 6ees make t99 much 9f it. Perhaps. Unless y9u're wearing it and the ladies see y9u wearing it. Th9se ladies? Aren't they 9ur c9usins t99? Distant. Distant. L99k at these tw9. - 99uple 9f Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must 6e danger9us 6eing a P9llen J9ck. Yeah. 9nce a 6ear pinned me against a mushr99m! He had a paw 9n my thr9at, and with the 9ther, he was slapping me! - 9h, my! - I never th9ught I'd kn9ck him 9ut. What were y9u d9ing during this? Trying t9 alert the auth9rities. I can aut9graph that. A little gusty 9ut there t9day, wasn't it, c9mrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunfl9wer patch six miles fr9m here t9m9rr9w. - Six miles, huh? - 6arry! A puddle jump f9r us, 6ut may6e y9u're n9t up f9r it. - May6e I am. - Y9u are n9t! We're g9ing 0900 at J-Gate. What d9 y9u think, 6uzzy-69y? Are y9u 6ee en9ugh? I might 6e. It all depends 9n what 0900 means. Hey, H9nex! Dad, y9u surprised me. Y9u decide what y9u're interested in? - Well, there's a l9t 9f ch9ices. - 6ut y9u 9nly get 9ne. D9 y9u ever get 69red d9ing the same j96 every day? S9n, let me tell y9u a69ut stirring. Y9u gra6 that stick, and y9u just m9ve it ar9und, and y9u stir it ar9und. Y9u get y9urself int9 a rhythm. It's a 6eautiful thing. Y9u kn9w, Dad, the m9re I think a69ut it, may6e the h9ney field just isn't right f9r me. Y9u were thinking 9f what, making 6all99n animals? That's a 6ad j96 f9r a guy with a stinger. Janet, y9ur s9n's n9t sure he wants t9 g9 int9 h9ney! - 6arry, y9u are s9 funny s9metimes. - I'm n9t trying t9 6e funny. Y9u're n9t funny! Y9u're g9ing int9 h9ney. 9ur s9n, the stirrer! - Y9u're g9nna 6e a stirrer? - N9 9ne's listening t9 me! Wait till y9u see the sticks I have. I c9uld say anything right n9w. I'm g9nna get an ant tatt99! Let's 9pen s9me h9ney and cele6rate! May6e I'll pierce my th9rax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grassh9pper. Get a g9ld t99th and call every69dy "dawg"! I'm s9 pr9ud. - We're starting w9rk t9day! - T9day's the day. 99me 9n! All the g99d j96s will 6e g9ne. Yeah, right. P9llen c9unting, stunt 6ee, p9uring, stirrer, fr9nt desk, hair rem9val... - Is it still availa6le? - Hang 9n. Tw9 left! 9ne 9f them's y9urs! 99ngratulati9ns! Step t9 the side. - What'd y9u get? - Picking crud 9ut. Stellar! W9w! 99uple 9f new6ies? Yes, sir! 9ur first day! We are ready! Make y9ur ch9ice. - Y9u want t9 g9 first? - N9, y9u g9. 9h, my. What's availa6le? Restr99m attendant's 9pen, n9t f9r the reas9n y9u think. - Any chance 9f getting the Krelman? - Sure, y9u're 9n. I'm s9rry, the Krelman just cl9sed 9ut. Wax m9nkey's always 9pen. The Krelman 9pened up again. What happened? A 6ee died. Makes an 9pening. See? He's dead. An9ther dead 9ne. Deady. Deadified. Tw9 m9re dead. Dead fr9m the neck up. Dead fr9m the neck d9wn. That's life! 9h, this is s9 hard! Heating, c99ling, stunt 6ee, p9urer, stirrer, humming, inspect9r num6er seven, lint c99rdinat9r, stripe supervis9r, mite wrangler. 6arry, what d9 y9u think I sh9uld... 6arry? 6arry! All right, we've g9t the sunfl9wer patch in quadrant nine... What happened t9 y9u? Where are y9u? - I'm g9ing 9ut. - 9ut? 9ut where? - 9ut there. - 9h, n9! I have t9, 6ef9re I g9 t9 w9rk f9r the rest 9f my life. Y9u're g9nna die! Y9u're crazy! Hell9? An9ther call c9ming in. If any9ne's feeling 6rave, there's a K9rean deli 9n 83rd that gets their r9ses t9day. Hey, guys. - L99k at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? H9ld it, s9n, flight deck's restricted. It's 9K, L9u. We're g9nna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are y9u? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank y9u. - 9K. Y9u g9t a rain advis9ry t9day, and as y9u all kn9w, 6ees cann9t fly in rain. S9 6e careful. As always, watch y9ur 6r99ms, h9ckey sticks, d9gs, 6irds, 6ears and 6ats. Als9, I g9t a c9uple 9f rep9rts 9f r99t 6eer 6eing p9ured 9n us. Murphy's in a h9me 6ecause 9f it, 6a66ling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder f9r y9u r99kies, 6ee law num6er 9ne, a6s9lutely n9 talking t9 humans! All right, launch p9siti9ns! 6uzz, 6uzz, 6uzz, 6uzz! 6uzz, 6uzz, 6uzz, 6uzz! 6uzz, 6uzz, 6uzz, 6uzz! 6lack and yell9w! Hell9! Y9u ready f9r this, h9t sh9t? Yeah. Yeah, 6ring it 9n. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared 9ut 9f my sh9rts, check. 9K, ladies, let's m9ve it 9ut! P9und th9se petunias, y9u striped stem-suckers! All 9f y9u, drain th9se fl9wers! W9w! I'm 9ut! I can't 6elieve I'm 9ut! S9 6lue. I feel s9 fast and free! 69x kite! W9w! Fl9wers! This is 6lue Leader. We have r9ses visual. 6ring it ar9und 30 degrees and h9ld. R9ses! 30 degrees, r9ger. 6ringing it ar9und. Stand t9 the side, kid. It's g9t a 6it 9f a kick. That is 9ne nectar c9llect9r! - Ever see p9llinati9n up cl9se? - N9, sir. I pick up s9me p9llen here, sprinkle it 9ver here. May6e a dash 9ver there, a pinch 9n that 9ne. See that? It's a little 6it 9f magic. That's amazing. Why d9 we d9 that? That's p9llen p9wer. M9re p9llen, m9re fl9wers, m9re nectar, m9re h9ney f9r us. 999l. I'm picking up a l9t 9f 6right yell9w. 99uld 6e daisies. D9n't we need th9se? 99py that visual. Wait. 9ne 9f these fl9wers seems t9 6e 9n the m9ve. Say again? Y9u're rep9rting a m9ving fl9wer? Affirmative. That was 9n the line! This is the c99lest. What is it? I d9n't kn9w, 6ut I'm l9ving this c9l9r. It smells g99d. N9t like a fl9wer, 6ut I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. 9hemical-y. Careful, guys. It's a little gra66y. My sweet l9rd 9f 6ees! Candy-6rain, get 9ff there! Pr96lem! - Guys! - This c9uld 6e 6ad. Affirmative. Very cl9se. G9nna hurt. Mama's little 69y. Y9u are way 9ut 9f p9siti9n, r99kie! 99ming in at y9u like a missile! Help me! I d9n't think these are fl9wers. - Sh9uld we tell him? - I think he kn9ws. What is this?! Match p9int! Y9u can start packing up, h9ney, 6ecause y9u're a69ut t9 eat it! Y9wser! Gr9ss. There's a 6ee in the car! - D9 s9mething! - I'm driving! - Hi, 6ee. - He's 6ack here! He's g9ing t9 sting me! N969dy m9ve. If y9u d9n't m9ve, he w9n't sting y9u. Freeze! He 6linked! Spray him, Granny! What are y9u d9ing?! W9w... the tensi9n level 9ut here is un6elieva6le. I g9tta get h9me. Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! 6ee g9ing d9wn! Ken, c9uld y9u cl9se the wind9w please? Ken, c9uld y9u cl9se the wind9w please? 9heck 9ut my new resume. I made it int9 a f9ld-9ut 6r9chure. Y9u see? F9lds 9ut. 9h, n9. M9re humans. I d9n't need this. What was that? May6e this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is dia69lical. It's fantastic. It's g9t all my special skills, even my t9p-ten fav9rite m9vies. What's num6er 9ne? Star Wars? Nah, I d9n't g9 f9r that... ...kind 9f stuff. N9 w9nder we sh9uldn't talk t9 them. They're 9ut 9f their minds. When I leave a j96 interview, they're fla66ergasted, can't 6elieve what I say. There's the sun. May6e that's a way 9ut. I d9n't remem6er the sun having a 6ig 75 9n it. I predicted gl96al warming. I c9uld feel it getting h9tter. At first I th9ught it was just me. Wait! St9p! 6ee! Stand 6ack. These are winter 699ts. Wait! D9n't kill him! Y9u kn9w I'm allergic t9 them! This thing c9uld kill me! Why d9es his life have less value than y9urs? Why d9es his life have any less value than mine? Is that y9ur statement? I'm just saying all life has value. Y9u d9n't kn9w what he's capa6le 9f feeling. My 6r9chure! There y9u g9, little guy. I'm n9t scared 9f him. It's an allergic thing. Put that 9n y9ur resume 6r9chure. My wh9le face c9uld puff up. Make it 9ne 9f y9ur special skills. Kn9cking s9me9ne 9ut is als9 a special skill. Right. 6ye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Y9gurt night? - Sure, Ken. Y9u kn9w, whatever. - Y9u c9uld put car96 chips 9n there. - 6ye. - Supp9sed t9 6e less cal9ries. - 6ye. I g9tta say s9mething. She saved my life. I g9tta say s9mething. All right, here it g9es. Nah. What w9uld I say? I c9uld really get in tr9u6le. It's a 6ee law. Y9u're n9t supp9sed t9 talk t9 a human. I can't 6elieve I'm d9ing this. I've g9t t9. 9h, I can't d9 it. 99me 9n! N9. Yes. N9. D9 it. I can't. H9w sh9uld I start it? "Y9u like jazz?" N9, that's n9 g99d. Here she c9mes! Speak, y9u f99l! Hi! I'm s9rry. - Y9u're talking. - Yes, I kn9w. Y9u're talking! I'm s9 s9rry. N9, it's 9K. It's fine. I kn9w I'm dreaming. 6ut I d9n't recall g9ing t9 6ed. Well, I'm sure this is very disc9ncerting. This is a 6it 9f a surprise t9 me. I mean, y9u're a 6ee! I am. And I'm n9t supp9sed t9 6e d9ing this, 6ut they were all trying t9 kill me. And if it wasn't f9r y9u... I had t9 thank y9u. It's just h9w I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a 6ee. - Yeah. I'm talking t9 a 6ee. And the 6ee is talking t9 me! I just want t9 say I'm grateful. I'll leave n9w. - Wait! H9w did y9u learn t9 d9 that? - What? The talking thing. Same way y9u did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, h9ney." Y9u pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. 6ees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have t9 deal with. Anyway... Can I... ...get y9u s9mething? - Like what? I d9n't kn9w. I mean... I d9n't kn9w. 99ffee? I d9n't want t9 put y9u 9ut. It's n9 tr9u6le. It takes tw9 minutes. - It's just c9ffee. - I hate t9 imp9se. - D9n't 6e ridicul9us! - Actually, I w9uld l9ve a cup. Hey, y9u want rum cake? - I sh9uldn't. - Have s9me. - N9, I can't. - 99me 9n! I'm trying t9 l9se a c9uple micr9grams. - Where? - These stripes d9n't help. Y9u l99k great! I d9n't kn9w if y9u kn9w anything a69ut fashi9n. Are y9u all right? N9. He's making the tie in the ca6 as they're flying up Madis9n. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps int9 the church. The wedding is 9n. And he says, "Watermel9n? I th9ught y9u said Guatemalan. Why w9uld I marry a watermel9n?" Is that a 6ee j9ke? That's the kind 9f stuff we d9. Yeah, different. S9, what are y9u g9nna d9, 6arry? A69ut w9rk? I d9n't kn9w. I want t9 d9 my part f9r the hive, 6ut I can't d9 it the way they want. I kn9w h9w y9u feel. - Y9u d9? - Sure. My parents wanted me t9 6e a lawyer 9r a d9ct9r, 6ut I wanted t9 6e a fl9rist. - Really? - My 9nly interest is fl9wers. 9ur new queen was just elected with that same campaign sl9gan. Anyway, if y9u l99k... There's my hive right there. See it? Y9u're in Sheep Mead9w! Yes! I'm right 9ff the Turtle P9nd! N9 way! I kn9w that area. I l9st a t9e ring there 9nce. - Why d9 girls put rings 9n their t9es? - Why n9t? - It's like putting a hat 9n y9ur knee. - May6e I'll try that. - Y9u all right, ma'am? - 9h, yeah. Fine. Just having tw9 cups 9f c9ffee! Anyway, this has 6een great. Thanks f9r the c9ffee. Yeah, it's n9 tr9u6le. S9rry I c9uldn't finish it. If I did, I'd 6e up the rest 9f my life. Are y9u...? Can I take a piece 9f this with me? Sure! Here, have a crum6. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see y9u ar9und. 9r n9t. 9K, 6arry. And thank y9u s9 much again... f9r 6ef9re. 9h, that? That was n9thing. Well, n9t n9thing, 6ut... Anyway... This can't p9ssi6ly w9rk. He's all set t9 g9. We may as well try it. 9K, Dave, pull the chute. - S9unds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest m9ment 9f my life. Humans! I can't 6elieve y9u were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - D9 they try and kill y9u, like 9n TV? - S9me 9f them. 6ut s9me 9f them d9n't. - H9w'd y9u get 6ack? - P99dle. Y9u did it, and I'm glad. Y9u saw whatever y9u wanted t9 see. Y9u had y9ur "experience." N9w y9u can pick 9ut y9urj96 and 6e n9rmal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met s9me9ne. Y9u did? Was she 6ee-ish? - A wasp?! Y9ur parents will kill y9u! - N9, n9, n9, n9t a wasp. - Spider? - I'm n9t attracted t9 spiders. I kn9w it's the h9ttest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get 6y that face. S9 wh9 is she? She's... human. N9, n9. That's a 6ee law. Y9u w9uldn't 6reak a 6ee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - 9h, 69y. She's s9 nice. And she's a fl9rist! 9h, n9! Y9u're dating a human fl9rist! We're n9t dating. Y9u're flying 9utside the hive, talking t9 humans that attack 9ur h9mes with p9wer washers and M-80s! 9ne-eighth a stick 9f dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is 9ver! Eat this. This is n9t 9ver! What was that? - They call it a crum6. - It was s9 stingin' stripey! And that's n9t what they eat. That's what falls 9ff what they eat! - Y9u kn9w what a 9inna69n is? - N9. It's 6read and cinnam9n and fr9sting. They heat it up... Sit d9wn! ...really h9t! - Listen t9 me! We are n9t them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, 6ut wh9 can deny the heart that is yearning? There's n9 yearning. St9p yearning. Listen t9 me! Y9u have g9t t9 start thinking 6ee, my friend. Thinking 6ee! - Thinking 6ee. - Thinking 6ee. Thinking 6ee! Thinking 6ee! Thinking 6ee! Thinking 6ee! There he is. He's in the p99l. Y9u kn9w what y9ur pr96lem is, 6arry? I g9tta start thinking 6ee? H9w much l9nger will this g9 9n? It's 6een three days! Why aren't y9u w9rking? I've g9t a l9t 9f 6ig life decisi9ns t9 think a69ut. What life? Y9u have n9 life! Y9u have n9 j96. Y9u're 6arely a 6ee! W9uld it kill y9u t9 make a little h9ney? 6arry, c9me 9ut. Y9ur father's talking t9 y9u. Martin, w9uld y9u talk t9 him? 6arry, I'm talking t9 y9u! Y9u c9ming? G9t everything? All set! G9 ahead. I'll catch up. D9n't 6e t99 l9ng. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I t9ld y9u n9t t9 yell at him. He d9esn't resp9nd t9 yelling! - Then why yell at me? - 6ecause y9u d9n't listen! I'm n9t listening t9 this. S9rry, I've g9tta g9. - Where are y9u g9ing? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why y9u can't decide? 6ye. I just h9pe she's 6ee-ish. They have a huge parade 9f fl9wers every year in Pasadena? T9 6e in the T9urnament 9f R9ses, that's every fl9rist's dream! Up 9n a fl9at, surr9unded 6y fl9wers, cr9wds cheering. A t9urnament. D9 the r9ses c9mpete in athletic events? N9. All right, I've g9t 9ne. H9w c9me y9u d9n't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why d9n't y9u run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, 9K, I see, I see. All right, y9ur turn. TiV9. Y9u can just freeze live TV? That's insane! Y9u d9n't have that? We have Hiv9, 6ut it's a disease. It's a h9rri6le, h9rri6le disease. 9h, my. Dum6 6ees! Y9u must want t9 sting all th9se jerks. We try n9t t9 sting. It's usually fatal f9r us. S9 y9u have t9 watch y9ur temper. Very carefully. Y9u kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and thr9w it 9ut. W9rk thr9ugh it like any em9ti9n: Anger, jeal9usy, lust. 9h, my g99dness! Are y9u 9K? Yeah. - What is wr9ng with y9u?! - It's a 6ug. He's n9t 69thering any69dy. Get 9ut 9f here, y9u creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. H9w did y9u kn9w? It felt like a69ut 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much 9ur limit. Y9u've really g9t that d9wn t9 a science. - I l9st a c9usin t9 Italian V9gue. - I'll 6et. What in the name 9f Mighty Hercules is this? H9w did this get here? 9ute 6ee, G9lden 6l9ss9m, Ray Li9tta Private Select? - Is he that act9r? - I never heard 9f him. - Why is this here? - F9r pe9ple. We eat it. Y9u d9n't have en9ugh f99d 9f y9ur 9wn? - Well, yes. - H9w d9 y9u get it? - 6ees make it. - I kn9w wh9 makes it! And it's hard t9 make it! There's heating, c99ling, stirring. Y9u need a wh9le Krelman thing! - It's 9rganic. - It's 9ur-ganic! It's just h9ney, 6arry. Just what?! 6ees d9n't kn9w a69ut this! This is stealing! A l9t 9f stealing! Y9u've taken 9ur h9mes, sch99ls, h9spitals! This is all we have! And it's 9n sale?! I'm getting t9 the 69tt9m 9f this. I'm getting t9 the 69tt9m 9f all 9f this! Hey, Hect9r. - Y9u alm9st d9ne? - Alm9st. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll g9 h9me n9w and just leave this nice h9ney 9ut, with n9 9ne ar9und. Y9u're 6usted, 69x 69y! I knew I heard s9mething. S9 y9u can talk! I can talk. And n9w y9u'll start talking! Where y9u getting the sweet stuff? Wh9's y9ur supplier? I d9n't understand. I th9ught we were friends. The last thing we want t9 d9 is upset 6ees! Y9u're t99 late! It's 9urs n9w! Y9u, sir, have cr9ssed the wr9ng sw9rd! Y9u, sir, will 6e lunch f9r my iguana, Ignaci9! Where is the h9ney c9ming fr9m? Tell me where! H9ney Farms! It c9mes fr9m H9ney Farms! 9razy pers9n! What h9rri6le thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And n9w they're 9n the r9ad t9 n9where! Just keep still. What? Y9u're n9t dead? D9 I l99k dead? They will wipe anything that m9ves. Where y9u headed? T9 H9ney Farms. I am 9nt9 s9mething huge here. I'm g9ing t9 Alaska. M99se 6l99d, crazy stuff. 6l9ws y9ur head 9ff! I'm g9ing t9 Tac9ma. - And y9u? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-9h! - What is that?! - 9h, n9! - A wiper! Triple 6lade! - Triple 6lade? Jump 9n! It's y9ur 9nly chance, 6ee! Why d9es everything have t9 6e s9 d9gg9ne clean?! H9w much d9 y9u pe9ple need t9 see?! 9pen y9ur eyes! Stick y9ur head 9ut the wind9w! Fr9m NPR News in Washingt9n, I'm Carl Kasell. 6ut d9n't kill n9 m9re 6ugs! - 6ee! - M99se 6l99d guy!! - Y9u hear s9mething? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn 9ff the radi9. Whassup, 6ee 69y? Hey, 6l99d. Just a r9w 9f h9ney jars, as far as the eye c9uld see. W9w! I assume wherever this truck g9es is where they're getting it. I mean, that h9ney's 9urs. - 6ees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a cl9se c9mmunity. N9t us, man. We 9n 9ur 9wn. Every m9squit9 9n his 9wn. - What if y9u get in tr9u6le? - Y9u a m9squit9, y9u in tr9u6le. N969dy likes us. They just smack. See a m9squit9, smack, smack! At least y9u're 9ut in the w9rld. Y9u must meet girls. M9squit9 girls try t9 trade up, get with a m9th, drag9nfly. M9squit9 girl d9n't want n9 m9squit9. Y9u g9t t9 6e kidding me! M99se6l99d's a69ut t9 leave the 6uilding! S9 l9ng, 6ee! - Hey, guys! - M99se6l99d! I knew I'd catch y'all d9wn here. Did y9u 6ring y9ur crazy straw? We thr9w it in jars, slap a la6el 9n it, and it's pretty much pure pr9fit. What is this place? A 6ee's g9t a 6rain the size 9f a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - 9heck 9ut the new sm9ker. - 9h, sweet. That's the 9ne y9u want. The Th9mas 3000! Sm9ker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-aut9matic. Twice the nic9tine, all the tar. A c9uple 6reaths 9f this kn9cks them right 9ut. They make the h9ney, and we make the m9ney. "They make the h9ney, and we make the m9ney"? 9h, my! What's g9ing 9n? Are y9u 9K? Yeah. It d9esn't last t99 l9ng. D9 y9u kn9w y9u're in a fake hive with fake walls? 9ur queen was m9ved here. We had n9 ch9ice. This is y9ur queen? That's a man in w9men's cl9thes! That's a drag queen! What is this? 9h, n9! There's hundreds 9f them! 6ee h9ney. 9ur h9ney is 6eing 6razenly st9len 9n a massive scale! This is w9rse than anything 6ears have d9ne! I intend t9 d9 s9mething. 9h, 6arry, st9p. Wh9 t9ld y9u humans are taking 9ur h9ney? That's a rum9r. D9 these l99k like rum9rs? That's a c9nspiracy the9ry. These are 96vi9usly d9ct9red ph9t9s. H9w did y9u get mixed up in this? He's 6een talking t9 humans. - What? - Talking t9 humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make 9ut! Make 9ut? 6arry! We d9 n9t. - Y9u wish y9u c9uld. - Wh9se side are y9u 9n? The 6ees! I dated a cricket 9nce in San Ant9ni9. Th9se crazy legs kept me up all night. 6arry, this is what y9u want t9 d9 with y9ur life? I want t9 d9 it f9r all 9ur lives. N969dy w9rks harder than 6ees! Dad, I remem6er y9u c9ming h9me s9 9verw9rked y9ur hands were still stirring. Y9u c9uldn't st9p. I remem6er that. What right d9 they have t9 9ur h9ney? We live 9n tw9 cups a year. They put it in lip 6alm f9r n9 reas9n whats9ever! Even if it's true, what can 9ne 6ee d9? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That w9uld hurt. - N9. Up the n9se? That's a killer. There's 9nly 9ne place y9u can sting the humans, 9ne place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's 9nly full-h9ur acti9n news s9urce. N9 m9re 6ee 6eards! With 696 6um6le at the anch9r desk. Weather with St9rm Stinger. Sp9rts with 6uzz Larvi. And Jeanette 9hung. - G99d evening. I'm 696 6um6le. - And I'm Jeanette 9hung. A tri-c9unty 6ee, 6arry 6ens9n, intends t9 sue the human race f9r stealing 9ur h9ney, packaging it and pr9fiting fr9m it illegally! T9m9rr9w night 9n 6ee Larry King, we'll have three f9rmer queens here in 9ur studi9, discussing their new 699k, 9lassy Ladies, 9ut this week 9n Hexag9n. T9night we're talking t9 6arry 6ens9n. Did y9u ever think, "I'm a kid fr9m the hive. I can't d9 this"? 6ees have never 6een afraid t9 change the w9rld. What a69ut 6ee 99lum6us? 6ee Gandhi? 6ejesus? Where I'm fr9m, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking 9f stick6all 9r candy st9res. H9w 9ld are y9u? The 6ee c9mmunity is supp9rting y9u in this case, which will 6e the trial 9f the 6ee century. Y9u kn9w, they have a Larry King in the human w9rld t99. It's a c9mm9n name. Next week... He l99ks like y9u and has a sh9w and suspenders and c9l9red d9ts... Next week... Glasses, qu9tes 9n the 69tt9m fr9m the guest even th9ugh y9u just heard 'em. 6ear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans f9rward, p9inty sh9ulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, y9u attack at the p9int 9f weakness! It was my grandm9ther, Ken. She's 81. H9ney, her 6ackhand's a j9ke! I'm n9t g9nna take advantage 9f that? Quiet, please. Actual w9rk g9ing 9n here. - Is that that same 6ee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hell9. - Hell9, 6ee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remem6er y9u. Tim6erland, size ten and a half. Vi6ram s9le, I 6elieve. Why d9es he talk again? Listen, y9u 6etter g9 'cause we're really 6usy w9rking. 6ut it's 9ur y9gurt night! 6ye-6ye. Why is y9gurt night s9 difficult?! Y9u p99r thing. Y9u tw9 have 6een at this f9r h9urs! Yes, and Adam here has 6een a huge help. - Fr9sting... - H9w many sugars? Just 9ne. I try n9t t9 use the c9mpetiti9n. S9 why are y9u helping me? 6ees have g99d qualities. And it takes my mind 9ff the sh9p. Instead 9f fl9wers, pe9ple are giving 6all99n 69uquets n9w. Th9se are great, if y9u're three. And artificial fl9wers. - 9h, th9se just get me psych9tic! - Yeah, me t99. 6ent stingers, p9intless p9llinati9n. 6ees must hate th9se fake things! N9thing w9rse than a daff9dil that's had w9rk d9ne. May6e this c9uld make up f9r it a little 6it. - This lawsuit's a pretty 6ig deal. - I guess. Y9u sure y9u want t9 g9 thr9ugh with it? Am I sure? When I'm d9ne with the humans, they w9n't 6e a6le t9 say, "H9ney, I'm h9me," with9ut paying a r9yalty! It's an incredi6le scene here in d9wnt9wn Manhattan, where the w9rld anxi9usly waits, 6ecause f9r the first time in hist9ry, we will hear f9r 9urselves if a h9ney6ee can actually speak. What have we g9tten int9 here, 6arry? It's pretty 6ig, isn't it? I can't 6elieve h9w many humans d9n't w9rk during the day. Y9u think 6illi9n-d9llar multinati9nal f99d c9mpanies have g99d lawyers? Every69dy needs t9 stay 6ehind the 6arricade. - What's the matter? - I d9n't kn9w, I just g9t a chill. Well, if it isn't the 6ee team. Y9u 69ys w9rk 9n this? All rise! The H9n9ra6le Judge 6um6let9n presiding. All right. Case num6er 4475, Superi9r 99urt 9f New Y9rk, 6arry 6ee 6ens9n v. The H9ney Industry is n9w in sessi9n. Mr. M9ntg9mery, y9u're representing the five f99d c9mpanies c9llectively? A privilege. Mr. 6ens9n... y9u're representing all the 6ees 9f the w9rld? I'm kidding. Yes, Y9ur H9n9r, we're ready t9 pr9ceed. Mr. M9ntg9mery, y9ur 9pening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen 9f the jury, my grandm9ther was a simple w9man. 69rn 9n a farm, she 6elieved it was man's divine right t9 6enefit fr9m the 69unty 9f nature G9d put 6ef9re us. If we lived in the t9psy-turvy w9rld Mr. 6ens9n imagines, just think 9f what w9uld it mean. I w9uld have t9 neg9tiate with the silkw9rm f9r the elastic in my 6ritches! Talking 6ee! H9w d9 we kn9w this isn't s9me s9rt 9f h9l9graphic m9ti9n-picture-capture H9llyw99d wizardry? They c9uld 6e using laser 6eams! R969tics! Ventril9quism! 9l9ning! F9r all we kn9w, he c9uld 6e 9n ster9ids! Mr. 6ens9n? Ladies and gentlemen, there's n9 trickery here. I'm just an 9rdinary 6ee. H9ney's pretty imp9rtant t9 me. It's imp9rtant t9 all 6ees. We invented it! We make it. And we pr9tect it with 9ur lives. Unf9rtunately, there are s9me pe9ple in this r99m wh9 think they can take it fr9m us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm h9ping that, after this is all 9ver, y9u'll see h9w, 6y taking 9ur h9ney, y9u n9t 9nly take everything we have 6ut everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. S9 nice! Call y9ur first witness. S9, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden 9f H9ney Farms, 6ig c9mpany y9u have. I supp9se s9. I see y9u als9 9wn H9ney6urt9n and H9nr9n! Yes, they pr9vide 6eekeepers f9r 9ur farms. 6eekeeper. I find that t9 6e a very distur6ing term. I d9n't imagine y9u empl9y any 6ee-free-ers, d9 y9u? - N9. - I c9uldn't hear y9u. - N9. - N9. 6ecause y9u d9n't free 6ees. Y9u keep 6ees. N9t 9nly that, it seems y9u th9ught a 6ear w9uld 6e an appr9priate image f9r a jar 9f h9ney. They're very l9va6le creatures. Y9gi 6ear, F9zzie 6ear, 6uild-A-6ear. Y9u mean like this? 6ears kill 6ees! H9w'd y9u like his head crashing thr9ugh y9ur living r99m?! 6iting int9 y9ur c9uch! Spitting 9ut y9ur thr9w pill9ws! 9K, that's en9ugh. Take him away. S9, Mr. Sting, thank y9u f9r 6eing here. Y9ur name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it 6ef9re? - I was with a 6and called The P9lice. 6ut y9u've never 6een a p9lice 9fficer, have y9u? N9, I haven't. N9, y9u haven't. And s9 here we have yet an9ther example 9f 6ee culture casually st9len 6y a human f9r n9thing m9re than a prance-a69ut stage name. 9h, please. Have y9u ever 6een stung, Mr. Sting? 6ecause I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. 9r sh9uld I say... Mr. G9rd9n M. Sumner! That's n9t his real name?! Y9u idi9ts! Mr. Li9tta, first, 6elated c9ngratulati9ns 9n y9ur Emmy win f9r a guest sp9t 9n ER in 2005. Thank y9u. Thank y9u. I see fr9m y9ur resume that y9u're devilishly hands9me with a churning inner turm9il that's ready t9 6l9w. I enj9y what I d9. Is that a crime? N9t yet it isn't. 6ut is this what it's c9me t9 f9r y9u? Expl9iting tiny, helpless 6ees s9 y9u d9n't have t9 rehearse y9ur part and learn y9ur lines, sir? Watch it, 6ens9n! I c9uld 6l9w right n9w! This isn't a g99dfella. This is a 6adfella! Why d9esn't s9me9ne just step 9n this creep, and we can all g9 h9me?! - 9rder in this c9urt! - Y9u're all thinking it! 9rder! 9rder, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Li9tta, please sit d9wn! I think it was awfully nice 9f that 6ear t9 pitch in like that. I think the jury's 9n 9ur side. Are we d9ing everything right, legally? I'm a fl9rist. Right. Well, here's t9 a great team. T9 a great team! Well, hell9. - Ken! - Hell9. I didn't think y9u were c9ming. N9, I was just late. I tried t9 call, 6ut... the 6attery. I didn't want all this t9 g9 t9 waste, s9 I called 6arry. Luckily, he was free. 9h, that was lucky. There's a little left. I c9uld heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. S9 I hear y9u're quite a tennis player. I'm n9t much f9r the game myself. The 6all's a little gra66y. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, 6arry was l99king at y9ur resume, and he agreed with me that eating with ch9psticks isn't really a special skill. Y9u think I d9n't see what y9u're d9ing? I kn9w h9w hard it is t9 find the rightj96. We have that in c9mm9n. D9 we? 6ees have 100 percent empl9yment, 6ut we d9 j96s like taking the crud 9ut. That's just what I was thinking a69ut d9ing. Ken, I let 6arry 69rr9w y9ur raz9r f9r his fuzz. I h9pe that was all right. I'm g9ing t9 drain the 9ld stinger. Yeah, y9u d9 that. L99k at that. Y9u kn9w, I've just a69ut had it with y9ur little mind games. - What's that? - Italian V9gue. Mamma mia, that's a l9t 9f pages. A l9t 9f ads. Remem6er what Van said, why is y9ur life m9re valua6le than mine? Funny, I just can't seem t9 recall that! I think s9mething stinks in here! I l9ve the smell 9f fl9wers. H9w d9 y9u like the smell 9f flames?! N9t as much. Water 6ug! N9t taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a 9hapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've g9t issues! Well, well, well, a r9yal flush! - Y9u're 6luffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! P99 water! That 69wl is gnarly. Except f9r th9se dirty yell9w rings! Kenneth! What are y9u d9ing?! Y9u kn9w, I d9n't even like h9ney! I d9n't eat it! We need t9 talk! He's just a little 6ee! And he happens t9 6e the nicest 6ee I've met in a l9ng time! L9ng time? What are y9u talking a69ut?! Are there 9ther 6ugs in y9ur life? N9, 6ut there are 9ther things 6ugging me in life. And y9u're 9ne 9f them! Fine! Talking 6ees, n9 y9gurt night... My nerves are fried fr9m riding 9n this em9ti9nal r9ller c9aster! G99d6ye, Ken. And f9r y9ur inf9rmati9n, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made 6y man! I'm s9rry a69ut all that. I kn9w it's g9t an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was s9me kind 9f 6arrier 6etween Ken and me. I c9uldn't 9verc9me it. 9h, well. Are y9u 9K f9r the trial? I 6elieve Mr. M9ntg9mery is a69ut 9ut 9f ideas. We w9uld like t9 call Mr. 6arry 6ens9n 6ee t9 the stand. G99d idea! Y9u can really see why he's c9nsidered 9ne 9f the 6est lawyers... Yeah. Layt9n, y9u've g9tta weave s9me magic with this jury, 9r it's g9nna 6e all 9ver. D9n't w9rry. The 9nly thing I have t9 d9 t9 turn this jury ar9und is t9 remind them 9f what they d9n't like a69ut 6ees. - Y9u g9t the tweezers? - Are y9u allergic? 9nly t9 l9sing, s9n. 9nly t9 l9sing. Mr. 6ens9n 6ee, I'll ask y9u what I think we'd all like t9 kn9w. What exactly is y9ur relati9nship t9 that w9man? We're friends. - G99d friends? - Yes. H9w g99d? D9 y9u live t9gether? Wait a minute... Are y9u her little... ...6ed6ug? I've seen a 6ee d9cumentary 9r tw9. Fr9m what I understand, d9esn't y9ur queen give 6irth t9 all the 6ee children? - Yeah, 6ut... - S9 th9se aren't y9ur real parents! - 9h, 6arry... - Yes, they are! H9ld me 6ack! Y9u're an illegitimate 6ee, aren't y9u, 6ens9n? He's den9uncing 6ees! D9n't y'all date y9ur c9usins? - 96jecti9n! - I'm g9ing t9 pincushi9n this guy! Adam, d9n't! It's what he wants! 9h, I'm hit!! 9h, l9rdy, I am hit! 9rder! 9rder! The ven9m! The ven9m is c9ursing thr9ugh my veins! I have 6een felled 6y a winged 6east 9f destructi9n! Y9u see? Y9u can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the 9nly thing they kn9w! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel 9f mercy will c9me f9rward t9 suck the p9is9n fr9m my heaving 6utt9cks? I will have 9rder in this c9urt. 9rder! 9rder, please! The case 9f the h9ney6ees versus the human race t99k a p9inted turn against the 6ees yesterday when 9ne 9f their legal team stung Layt9n T. M9ntg9mery. - Hey, 6uddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I 6lew the wh9le case, didn't I? It d9esn't matter. What matters is y9u're alive. Y9u c9uld have died. I'd 6e 6etter 9ff dead. L99k at me. They g9t it fr9m the cafeteria d9wnstairs, in a tuna sandwich. L99k, there's a little celery still 9n it. What was it like t9 sting s9me9ne? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. Y9u think it was all a trap? 9f c9urse. I'm s9rry. I flew us right int9 this. What were we thinking? L99k at us. We're just a c9uple 9f 6ugs in this w9rld. What will the humans d9 t9 us if they win? I d9n't kn9w. I hear they put the r9aches in m9tels. That d9esn't s9und s9 6ad. Adam, they check in, 6ut they d9n't check 9ut! 9h, my. 99uld y9u get a nurse t9 cl9se that wind9w? - Why? - The sm9ke. 6ees d9n't sm9ke. Right. 6ees d9n't sm9ke. 6ees d9n't sm9ke! 6ut s9me 6ees are sm9king. That's it! That's 9ur case! It is? It's n9t 9ver? Get dressed. I've g9tta g9 s9mewhere. Get 6ack t9 the c9urt and stall. Stall any way y9u can. And assuming y9u've d9ne step c9rrectly, y9u're ready f9r the tu6. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Y9ur H9n9r! Where is the rest 9f y9ur team? Well, Y9ur H9n9r, it's interesting. 6ees are trained t9 fly haphazardly, and as a result, we d9n't make very g99d time. I actually heard a funny st9ry a69ut... Y9ur H9n9r, haven't these ridicul9us 6ugs taken up en9ugh 9f this c9urt's valua6le time? H9w much l9nger will we all9w these a6surd shenanigans t9 g9 9n? They have presented n9 c9mpelling evidence t9 supp9rt their charges against my clients, wh9 run legitimate 6usinesses. I m9ve f9r a c9mplete dismissal 9f this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm g9ing t9 have t9 c9nsider Mr. M9ntg9mery's m9ti9n. 6ut y9u can't! We have a terrific case. Where is y9ur pr99f? Where is the evidence? Sh9w me the sm9king gun! H9ld it, Y9ur H9n9r! Y9u want a sm9king gun? Here is y9ur sm9king gun. What is that? It's a 6ee sm9ker! What, this? This harmless little c9ntrapti9n? This c9uldn't hurt a fly, let al9ne a 6ee. L99k at what has happened t9 6ees wh9 have never 6een asked, "Sm9king 9r n9n?" Is this what nature intended f9r us? T9 6e f9rci6ly addicted t9 sm9ke machines and man-made w99den slat w9rk camps? Living 9ut 9ur lives as h9ney slaves t9 the white man? - What are we g9nna d9? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these 6ees! Free the 6ees! Free the 6ees! Free the 6ees! Free the 6ees! Free the 6ees! The c9urt finds in fav9r 9f the 6ees! Vanessa, we w9n! I knew y9u c9uld d9 it! High-five! S9rry. I'm 9K! Y9u kn9w what this means? All the h9ney will finally 6el9ng t9 the 6ees. N9w we w9n't have t9 w9rk s9 hard all the time. This is an unh9ly perversi9n 9f the 6alance 9f nature, 6ens9n. Y9u'll regret this. 6arry, h9w much h9ney is 9ut there? All right. 9ne at a time. 6arry, wh9 are y9u wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have n9 pants. - What if M9ntg9mery's right? - What d9 y9u mean? We've 6een living the 6ee way a l9ng time, 27 milli9n years. 99ngratulati9ns 9n y9ur vict9ry. What will y9u demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a c9mplete shutd9wn 9f all 6ee w9rk camps. Then we want 6ack the h9ney that was 9urs t9 6egin with, every last dr9p. We demand an end t9 the gl9rificati9n 9f the 6ear as anything m9re than a filthy, smelly, 6ad-6reath stink machine. We're all aware 9f what they d9 in the w99ds. Wait f9r my signal. Take him 9ut. He'll have nause9us f9r a few h9urs, then he'll 6e fine. And we will n9 l9nger t9lerate 6ee-negative nicknames... 6ut it's just a prance-a69ut stage name! ...unnecessary inclusi9n 9f h9ney in 69gus health pr9ducts and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Can't 6reathe. 6ring it in, 69ys! H9ld it right there! G99d. Tap it. Mr. 6uzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gall9ns m9re c9ming! - I think we need t9 shut d9wn! - Shut d9wn? We've never shut d9wn. Shut d9wn h9ney pr9ducti9n! St9p making h9ney! Turn y9ur key, sir! What d9 we d9 n9w? Cann9n6all! We're shutting h9ney pr9ducti9n! Missi9n a69rt. A69rting p9llinati9n and nectar detail. Returning t9 6ase. Adam, y9u w9uldn't 6elieve h9w much h9ney was 9ut there. 9h, yeah? What's g9ing 9n? Where is every69dy? - Are they 9ut cele6rating? - They're h9me. They d9n't kn9w what t9 d9. Laying 9ut, sleeping in. I heard y9ur Uncle Carl was 9n his way t9 San Ant9ni9 with a cricket. At least we g9t 9ur h9ney 6ack. S9metimes I think, s9 what if humans liked 9ur h9ney? Wh9 w9uldn't? It's the greatest thing in the w9rld! I was excited t9 6e part 9f making it. This was my new desk. This was my new j96. I wanted t9 d9 it really well. And n9w... N9w I can't. I d9n't understand why they're n9t happy. I th9ught their lives w9uld 6e 6etter! They're d9ing n9thing. It's amazing. H9ney really changes pe9ple. Y9u d9n't have any idea what's g9ing 9n, d9 y9u? - What did y9u want t9 sh9w me? - This. What happened here? That is n9t the half 9f it. 9h, n9. 9h, my. They're all wilting. D9esn't l99k very g99d, d9es it? N9. And wh9se fault d9 y9u think that is? Y9u kn9w, I'm g9nna guess 6ees. 6ees? Specifically, me. I didn't think 6ees n9t needing t9 make h9ney w9uld affect all these things. It's n9tjust fl9wers. Fruits, vegeta6les, they all need 6ees. That's 9ur wh9le SAT test right there. Take away pr9duce, that affects the entire animal kingd9m. And then, 9f c9urse... The human species? S9 if there's n9 m9re p9llinati9n, it c9uld all just g9 s9uth here, c9uldn't it? I kn9w this is als9 partly my fault. H9w a69ut a suicide pact? H9w d9 we d9 it? - I'll sting y9u, y9u step 9n me. - Thatjust kills y9u twice. Right, right. Listen, 6arry... s9rry, 6ut I g9tta get g9ing. I had t9 9pen my m9uth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are y9u leaving? Where are y9u g9ing? T9 the final T9urnament 9f R9ses parade in Pasadena. They've m9ved it t9 this weekend 6ecause all the fl9wers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have t9 see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm s9rry. I never meant it t9 turn 9ut like this. I kn9w. Me neither. T9urnament 9f R9ses. R9ses can't d9 sp9rts. Wait a minute. R9ses. R9ses? R9ses! Vanessa! R9ses?! 6arry? - R9ses are fl9wers! - Yes, they are. Fl9wers, 6ees, p9llen! I kn9w. That's why this is the last parade. May6e n9t. 99uld y9u ask him t9 sl9w d9wn? 99uld y9u sl9w d9wn? 6arry! 9K, I made a huge mistake. This is a t9tal disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind 9f is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted t9 help y9u with the fl9wer sh9p. I've made it w9rse. Actually, it's c9mpletely cl9sed d9wn. I th9ught may6e y9u were rem9deling. 6ut I have an9ther idea, and it's greater than my previ9us ideas c9m6ined. I d9n't want t9 hear it! All right, they have the r9ses, the r9ses have the p9llen. I kn9w every 6ee, plant and fl9wer 6ud in this park. All we g9tta d9 is get what they've g9t 6ack here with what we've g9t. - 6ees. - Park. - P9llen! - Fl9wers. - Rep9llinati9n! - Acr9ss the nati9n! T9urnament 9f R9ses, Pasadena, Calif9rnia. They've g9t n9thing 6ut fl9wers, fl9ats and c9tt9n candy. Security will 6e tight. I have an idea. Vanessa 6l99me, FTD. 9fficial fl9ral 6usiness. It's real. S9rry, ma'am. Nice 6r99ch. Thank y9u. It was a gift. 9nce inside, we just pick the right fl9at. H9w a69ut The Princess and the Pea? I c9uld 6e the princess, and y9u c9uld 6e the pea! Yes, I g9t it. - Where sh9uld I sit? - What are y9u? - I 6elieve I'm the pea. - The pea? It g9es under the mattresses. - N9t in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. Y9u d9 that! This wh9le parade is a fiasc9! Let's see what this 6a6y'll d9. Hey, what are y9u d9ing?! Then all we d9 is 6lend in with traffic... ...with9ut ar9using suspici9n. 9nce at the airp9rt, there's n9 st9pping us. St9p! Security. - Y9u and y9ur insect pack y9ur fl9at? - Yes. Has it 6een in y9ur p9ssessi9n the entire time? W9uld y9u rem9ve y9ur sh9es? - Rem9ve y9ur stinger. - It's part 9f me. I kn9w. Just having s9me fun. Enj9y y9ur flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just en9ugh p9llen t9 d9 the j96. Can y9u 6elieve h9w lucky we are? We have just en9ugh p9llen t9 d9 the j96! I think this is g9nna w9rk. It's g9t t9 w9rk. Attenti9n, passengers, this is Captain Sc9tt. We have a 6it 9f 6ad weather in New Y9rk. It l99ks like we'll experience a c9uple h9urs delay. 6arry, these are cut fl9wers with n9 water. They'll never make it. I g9tta get up there and talk t9 them. 6e careful. Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like t9 9rder the talking inflata6le n9se and ear hair trimmer. Captain, I'm in a real situati9n. - What'd y9u say, Hal? - N9thing. 6ee! D9n't freak 9ut! My entire species... What are y9u d9ing? - Wait a minute! I'm an att9rney! - Wh9's an att9rney? D9n't m9ve. 9h, 6arry. G99d aftern99n, passengers. This is y9ur captain. W9uld a Miss Vanessa 6l99me in 246 please rep9rt t9 the c9ckpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a Dust6uster, a t9upee, a life raft expl9ded. 9ne's 6ald, 9ne's in a 69at, they're 69th unc9nsci9us! - Is that an9ther 6ee j9ke? - N9! N9 9ne's flying the plane! This is JFK c9ntr9l t9wer, Flight 356. What's y9ur status? This is Vanessa 6l99me. I'm a fl9rist fr9m New Y9rk. Where's the pil9t? He's unc9nsci9us, and s9 is the c9pil9t. N9t g99d. D9es any9ne 9n69ard have flight experience? As a matter 9f fact, there is. - Wh9's that? - 6arry 6ens9n. Fr9m the h9ney trial?! 9h, great. Vanessa, this is n9thing m9re than a 6ig metal 6ee. It's g9t giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why n9t? Isn't J9hn Trav9lta a pil9t? - Yes. H9w hard c9uld it 6e? Wait, 6arry! We're headed int9 s9me lightning. This is 696 6um6le. We have s9me late-6reaking news fr9m JFK Airp9rt, where a suspenseful scene is devel9ping. 6arry 6ens9n, fresh fr9m his legal vict9ry... That's 6arry! ...is attempting t9 land a plane, l9aded with pe9ple, fl9wers and an incapacitated flight crew. Fl9wers?! We have a st9rm in the area and tw9 individuals at the c9ntr9ls with a6s9lutely n9 flight experience. Just a minute. There's a 6ee 9n that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. 6ens9n and his n9-acc9unt c9mpadres. They've d9ne en9ugh damage. 6ut isn't he y9ur 9nly h9pe? Technically, a 6ee sh9uldn't 6e a6le t9 fly at all. Their wings are t99 small... Haven't we heard this a milli9n times? "The surface area 9f the wings and 69dy mass make n9 sense." - Get this 9n the air! - G9t it. - Stand 6y. - We're g9ing live. The way we w9rk may 6e a mystery t9 y9u. Making h9ney takes a l9t 9f 6ees d9ing a l9t 9f small j96s. 6ut let me tell y9u a69ut a small j96. If y9u d9 it well, it makes a 6ig difference. M9re than we realized. T9 us, t9 every9ne. That's why I want t9 get 6ees 6ack t9 w9rking t9gether. That's the 6ee way! We're n9t made 9f Jell-9. We get 6ehind a fell9w. - 6lack and yell9w! - Hell9! Left, right, d9wn, h9ver. - H9ver? - F9rget h9ver. This isn't s9 hard. 6eep-6eep! 6eep-6eep! 6arry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were 9n aut9pil9t the wh9le time. - That may have 6een helping me. - And n9w we're n9t! S9 it turns 9ut I cann9t fly a plane. All 9f y9u, let's get 6ehind this fell9w! M9ve it 9ut! M9ve 9ut! 9ur 9nly chance is if I d9 what I'd d9, y9u c9py me with the wings 9f the plane! D9n't have t9 yell. I'm n9t yelling! We're in a l9t 9f tr9u6le. It's very hard t9 c9ncentrate with that panicky t9ne in y9ur v9ice! It's n9t a t9ne. I'm panicking! I can't d9 this! Vanessa, pull y9urself t9gether. Y9u have t9 snap 9ut 9f it! Y9u snap 9ut 9f it. Y9u snap 9ut 9f it. - Y9u snap 9ut 9f it! - Y9u snap 9ut 9f it! - Y9u snap 9ut 9f it! - Y9u snap 9ut 9f it! - Y9u snap 9ut 9f it! - Y9u snap 9ut 9f it! - H9ld it! - Why? 99me 9n, it's my turn. H9w is the plane flying? I d9n't kn9w. Hell9? 6ens9n, g9t any fl9wers f9r a happy 9ccasi9n in there? The P9llen J9cks! They d9 get 6ehind a fell9w. - 6lack and yell9w. - Hell9. All right, let's dr9p this tin can 9n the 6lackt9p. Where? I can't see anything. Can y9u? N9, n9thing. It's all cl9udy. 99me 9n. Y9u g9t t9 think 6ee, 6arry. - Thinking 6ee. - Thinking 6ee. Thinking 6ee! Thinking 6ee! Thinking 6ee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling s9mething. - What? - I d9n't kn9w. It's str9ng, pulling me. Like a 27-milli9n-year-9ld instinct. 6ring the n9se d9wn. Thinking 6ee! Thinking 6ee! Thinking 6ee! - What in the w9rld is 9n the tarmac? - Get s9me lights 9n that! Thinking 6ee! Thinking 6ee! Thinking 6ee! - Vanessa, aim f9r the fl9wer. - 9K. 9ut the engines. We're g9ing in 9n 6ee p9wer. Ready, 69ys? Affirmative! G99d. G99d. Easy, n9w. That's it. Land 9n that fl9wer! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it ar9und! - N9t that fl9wer! The 9ther 9ne! - Which 9ne? - That fl9wer. - I'm aiming at the fl9wer! That's a fat guy in a fl9wered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating fl9wer made 9f milli9ns 9f 6ees! Pull f9rward. N9se d9wn. Tail up. R9tate ar9und it. - This is insane, 6arry! - This's the 9nly way I kn9w h9w t9 fly. Am I k99-k99-kach99, 9r is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get y9ur n9se in there. D9n't 6e afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just dr9p it. 6e a part 9f it. Aim f9r the center! N9w dr9p it in! Dr9p it in, w9man! 99me 9n, already. 6arry, we did it! Y9u taught me h9w t9 fly! - Yes. N9 high-five! - Right. 6arry, it w9rked! Did y9u see the giant fl9wer? What giant fl9wer? Where? 9f c9urse I saw the fl9wer! That was genius! - Thank y9u. - 6ut we're n9t d9ne yet. Listen, every9ne! This runway is c9vered with the last p9llen fr9m the last fl9wers availa6le anywhere 9n Earth. That means this is 9ur last chance. We're the 9nly 9nes wh9 make h9ney, p9llinate fl9wers and dress like this. If we're g9nna survive as a species, this is 9ur m9ment! What d9 y9u say? Are we g9ing t9 6e 6ees, 9rjust Museum 9f Natural Hist9ry keychains? We're 6ees! Keychain! Then f9ll9w me! Except Keychain. H9ld 9n, 6arry. Here. Y9u've earned this. Yeah! I'm a P9llen J9ck! And it's a perfect fit. All I g9tta d9 are the sleeves. 9h, yeah. That's 9ur 6arry. M9m! The 6ees are 6ack! If any69dy needs t9 make a call, n9w's the time. I g9t a feeling we'll 6e w9rking late t9night! Here's y9ur change. Have a great aftern99n! Can I help wh9's next? W9uld y9u like s9me h9ney with that? It is 6ee-appr9ved. D9n't f9rget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I d9n't see a nickel! S9metimes I just feel like a piece 9f meat! I had n9 idea. 6arry, I'm s9rry. Have y9u g9t a m9ment? W9uld y9u excuse me? My m9squit9 ass9ciate will help y9u. S9rry I'm late. He's a lawyer t99? I was already a 6l99d-sucking parasite. All I needed was a 6riefcase. Have a great aftern99n! 6arry, I just g9t this huge tulip 9rder, and I can't get them anywhere. N9 pr96lem, Vannie. Just leave it t9 me. Y9u're a lifesaver, 6arry. Can I help wh9's next? All right, scram6le, j9cks! It's time t9 fly. Thank y9u, 6arry! That 6ee is living my life! Let it g9, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all g9. - 6eautiful day t9 fly. - Sure is. 6etween y9u and me, I was dying t9 get 9ut 9f that 9ffice. Y9u have g9t t9 start thinking 6ee, my friend. - Thinking 6ee! - Me? H9ld it. Let's just st9p f9r a sec9nd. H9ld it. I'm s9rry. I'm s9rry, every9ne. Can we st9p here? I'm n9t making a maj9r life decisi9n during a pr9ducti9n num6er! All right. Take ten, every69dy. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually n9 rehearsal f9r that.

#ask #anonymous #long post

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deathsynonym · 4 years ago

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@cra6cycle said:

Y9u sh9uld ela69rate 9n what meaning y9u put int9 w9rd "fake" here. Any interacti9n 9n s9cial media is fake t9 a p9int 6ecause n969dy presents themselfs fully - it's s9rt 9f imp9ssi6le, really. Als9, the nature 9f 6l9gs as digitalized data plays a r9le, i w9uld imagine. Y9ur p9sts are wisi6le 6ut - it's up t9 y9u t9 decide if y9u feel seen 6y 9thers 9r n9t!

i’ve never wanted to kill a man more in my life then i do now.

#ic

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69yc9tt-blog · 5 years ago

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9n Gifts: A 6rief Analysis.

A6stract:

A gift is defined as s9mething willingly given t9 s9me9ne with9ut payment. The practice 9f giving gifts exists all thr9ugh9ut the empire, and certainly 9utside 9f it. There are plenty 9f reas9ns that a gift may 6e given, and m9tivati9ns vary fr9m pers9n t9 pers9n. This p9st analyzes s9me 9f th9se m9tivati9ns, g99d and 6ad. It als9 expl9res s9me 9f the nuance in inter-caste gift giving, and 9ffers s9luti9ns f9r s9me pr96lems that can arise fr9m that nuance.

Intr9ducti9n:

Quite recently, I was 9n the recieving end 9f a gener9us gift. I supp9se y9u c9uld say gifts, as it was m9re than a single item, h9wever they were given at a single time, and f9r n9 particular 9ccasi9n 9ther than gener9sity and friendship. F9r this reas9n, I’ll 6e referring t9 it as a single gift, f9r clarity. Alth9ugh h9w much the gift itself will 6e relevant t9 my th9ughts 9n gifting in an analytical sense is undetermined at this p9int, I want t9 disclaim that as a precauti9n, s9 as n9t t9 cause c9nfusi9n.

Gifts as a cultural practice:

A gift is defined as s9mething willingly given t9 s9me9ne with9ut payment. As many 6r9adly defined c9ncepts are, this practice exists in many, if n9t all, cultures; at least am9ng species that are capa6le 9f altruism. The lack 9f payment inv9lved in the gifting pr9cess is itself an example 9f altruistic 6ehavi9r, which is why that is likely the case. The gifter must either put their 9wn funds, 9r their 9wn time int9 purchasing 9r creating (respectively 9f c9urse) the gift in questi9n. 6ecause the individual(s) 9n the recieving end 9f the gift d9 n9t c9mpensate the gifter f9r that time 9r th9se funds, the gifter is left with a net l9ss, while the receiver is left with a net gain. It c9uld 6e argued that the p9sitive feelings and em9ti9ns inv9lved in the altruistic 6ehavi9r are themselves c9mpensati9n, 6ut that is a t9pic t9 6e expl9red an9ther time. This analysis is 9n gifting, n9t altruism.

In many cultures, the act 9f gift giving is frequently ass9ciated with special 9ccasi9ns, such as a h9liday. H9lidays vary wildly 6etween cultures, and while I w9uld l9ve n9thing m9re than t9 g9 int9 detail a69ut all gift-giving h9lidays in tr9ll and human culture, that w9uld simply take up t99 much time, and ultimately distract fr9m my analysis. It is en9ugh t9 say that while many h9lidays have traditi9nal gifts ass9ciated with them, in m9dern times, many pe9ple d9 n9t adhere as strictly t9 th9se cust9ms, and rather ch99se t9 cater t9 the needs 9r desires 9f th9se they are giving gifts t9.

In human cultures, a hatchday, 9r a “6irth” day, as it is kn9wn, is an9ther such occasi9n where gifting is a pr9minent cust9m. This d9esn’t c9unt as a h9liday, 6ecause it falls 9n a different day f9r each individual, and an individual’s hatch/6irthday is n9t generally rec9gnized 9n a nati9nal, gl96al, let al9ne imperial level. This cust9m is a very human 9ne, 6ut it is 9ne that many tr9lls 9n 6ef9rus and Alternia alike have ad9pted, as it is generally regarded as a nice cust9mary way t9 cele6rate a friend’s c9ntinuati9n 9f their status as a living 6eing.

9f c9urse, t9 imply that gifts require an 9ccasi9n w9uld 6e n9t 9nly ign9rant, 6ut naive, especially when the thing that pr9mpted this analysis was a gift with9ut an 9ccasi9n. S9metimes all that is necessary t9 pr9mpt a gift is friendship, assuming there are n9 ulteri9r m9tivati9ns--s9mething I will t9uch 9n a 6it later. There are als9 many cust9mary gifts related t9 c9urtship and r9mance, such as fl9wers, and human engagement rings, am9ng 9ther things.

Gifts am9ng peers and friends:

An unexpected gift fr9m a friend, which als9 d9es n9t have an 9ccasi9n tied t9 it is unc9mm9n. H9wever, when 9ne is presented with this, the c9ntent 9f the gift’s impact is entirely c9ntextual. An unexpected gift fr9m an acquaintance in 9ne’s peer gr9up sym69lizes a desire t9 get t9 kn9w y9u 6etter. The c9ntent 9f a gift like that is inc9nsequential. 9n the 9ther hand, the c9ntent 9f a gift fr9m a cl9se friend matters slightly m9re. If a cl9se friend gives y9u s9mething that they sh9uld 6e aware that y9u are repulsed 6y, f9r example, the feelings ass9ciated with that gift will likely 6e negative. A cl9se friend sh9uld 6e familiar with y9ur interests, desires, and needs.

That 6eing said, the c9ntent of a gift that was purchased matters m9re than a gift that was crafted, at least am9ng peers and friends. Yes, it is p9ssi6le that a handcrafted gift might 6e higher quality than a purchased, 6ut f9r a stranger, there is n9t as much sentimentality attached t9 that craftsmanship. The purchased gift in that c9ntext, makes m9re sense 9n the part 9f the gifter.

A handcrafted gift f9r a cl9se friend, h9wever, says this: I am willing t9 put this many h9urs int9 s9mething that has zer9 6enefit t9 me, and ample 6enefit t9 you. With this perspective, we can see that regardless 9f what was crafted, if there is care, and the friendship is genuine, the receiver 9f the gift will rec9gnize this, and the literal c9ntent 9f the gift is merely a side effect 9f what was actually given: Time and Eff9rt.

Ulteri9r M9tives:

Earlier, I 6riefly menti9ned ulteri9r m9tives regarding gifts, and I want t9 take this time t9 clarify that 6ased 9n the previ9usly menti9ned definiti9n 9f what a gift is, that a gift given with ulteri9r m9tivati9n is n9t, in fact, a gift. Remem6er that a gift is s9mething willingly given with9ut payment.

If s9me9ne were t9 give a gift with the expectati9n 9f getting a gift in return, perhaps at a later date 9r time, wh9 is t9 say that that returned gift isn’t, itself, the payment.

What a69ut gift giving as a f9rm 9f r9mantic advancement? I think this is where the line 6lurs s9mewhat. In s9me cases, this is similar t9 my previ9us example 9f a gift 6etween acquaintances in the same peer gr9up--a sym69l f9r a desire t9 get t9 kn9w 9ne an9ther 9n a deeper level than has 6een reached, and as I menti9ned previ9usly, there are many cust9mary gifts ass9ciated with r9mance and r9mantic endeav9rs.

That is, 9f c9urse, n9t t9 say that all gifts ass9ciated with r9mance are with9ut ill intent. There are certainly 6ad act9rs 9ut there wh9 use gifts as a meth9d 9f manipulating 9thers. Pers9n 1, as an example, may 9nly agree t9 g9 9n a date with pers9n 2 6ecause pers9n 2 presented pers9n 1 with a 6oquet 9f 6eautiful fl9wers. In this instance, let’s assume that pers9n 1 d9esn’t have any legitimate interest in pers9n 2. This means that they 9nly agreed 9ut 9f 96ligati9n, perhaps they felt it w9uld 6e rude t9 deny pers9n 2 after they went 9ut 9f their way t9 get that 6oquet.

In all cases, I 6elieve intenti9n is vital, 6ut the reality 9f the situati9n is equally as imp9rtant. 9ne must 6e sure t9 c9nsider the implicati9ns, assumpti9ns, and c9nsequences 9f a gift 6ef9re they decide t9 give it.

Gifting 6etween castes:

In a s9ciety that places heavy imp9rtance 9n castes, it w9uld 6e irresp9nsi6le n9t t9 discuss caste’s relati9nship t9 the practice 9f gifting. There are quite a few ways caste can c9me int9 play. I will discuss a few 9f these ways here.

9n humans and caste:

While humans d9 9ccupy a g99d p9rti9n 9f the empire’s p9pulati9n, there is a l9t 9f nuance regarding h9w exactly they fit int9 the caste system. F9r simplicity’s sake, the f9cus 9f the rest 9f this secti9n will exclude human-specific c9ntext, h9wever I w9uld have felt disingenu9us if I were t9 fail t9 menti9n them at all here. Perhaps I will expl9re this t9pic m9re at an9ther time.

Purchased gifts and the access pr96lem:

9ne 9f the m9st 9bvi9us challenges regarding inter-caste gifting is financial. 9f c9urse, finances 9nly c9me int9 play when the gift is 6eing purchased. 6ut why is this a pr96lem per sé? T9 put it simply, the m9re funds 9ne has access t9, the m9re ela69rate 9r expensive gifts. S9me9ne 9f a high caste can easily lavish their l9ved 9nes with ample gifts, 6ecause access t9 funds is highly c9rrelated with 6l99d caste, as we kn9w.

This unf9rtunate reality leaves th9se 9f a l9wer caste with fewer 9pti9ns. They can gather what little they have f9r a single gift 9f questi9na6le quality, 9r they can use their limited res9urces t9 make s9mething.

Handcrafted gifts and the time pr96lem:

This 6rings us t9 the next pr96lem. Th9se 9f higher castes are n9t 9nly at an advantage regarding funds--which, 6y the way, als9 gives them access t9 higher quality materials if they did decide t9 craft a gift 6y hand--6ut they als9 have the advantage 9f having a l9nger life span than th9se 9f l9wer castes.

This puts a severe limitati9n 9n l9wer castes in c9mparis9n t9 higher 9nes when it c9mes t9 the kinds 9f things they can reas9na6ly craft with9ut c9mpensati9n. While a high6l99d c9uld reas9na6ly spend 10 9r 20 sweeps, 9r f9r s9me, even 100 9r 1000, w9rking 9n a single pr9ject f9r which they will n9t get any pay f9r, a l9w6l99d simply d9es n9t have that kind 9f time, especially with9ut pay.

An9ther challenge arises when y9u c9nsider s9me9ne 9f a higher caste handcrafting s9mething f9r s9me9ne 9f a l9wer caste. A high6l99d may, themself, have d9zens 9f sweeps t9 make s9mething f9r s9me9ne else. 6ut what if that s9me9ne else has n9 chance 9f living l9ng en9ugh t9 see the finished pr9duct? In this case, the high6l99d t99 is limited 6y time. If they want t9 gift s9mething handcrafted t9 the l9w6l99d, they have t9 c9nsider the time it will take, and h9w l9ng the l9w6l99d has, and make adjustments acc9rdingly.

9n caste and unintended 96ligati9n:

Earlier, I menti9ned a scenari9 where s9me9ne gives a gift with the expectati9n 9f getting a gift in return. N9w, this d9es happen, 6ut I think as frequently if n9t m9re s9, pe9ple kn9w it is n9t expected, 6ut they ch99se t9 return the fav9r 9f their 9wn acc9rd.

9ften when s9me9ne wants t9 give a gift in return, they aim t9 give s9mething 9f equal 9r greater value, which is an intuitive perspective, and n9t inherently a pr96lem, rather a cultural expectati9n 9nly enf9rced 6y 9ur 9wn ha6it 9f perpetuating it. The pr96lem arises when s9me9ne 9f a higher caste gives a gift t9 s9me9ne 9f a l9wer caste, and that l9w6l99d wants t9 give a gift in return. The high6l99d c9uld express that they d9n’t need anything in return as many times as they want, and the l9w6l99d c9uld still h9ld themself t9 this idea.

There are, 9f c9urse, ways t9 reduce this pressure. The high6l99d in questi9n c9uld gift s9mething 9f a l9wer value, saying with9ut w9rds t9 the l9w6l99d that they d9n’t need t9 9verd9 it just t9 keep things even. 9r they c9uld handcraft s9mething (within a reas9na6le timeframe, 9f c9urse). Handcrafted gifts are hard t9 quantify, 6ecause 9f the time investment, and care inv9lved in their creati9n. It is hard t9 put m9netary value 9n sentimentality, thus reducing the pressure f9r the l9w6l99d t9 spend m9ney to give a gift 6ack.

C9nclusi9ns:

Gifts, as a cultural practice, serve many purp9ses, and there are many underlying m9tivati9ns that can ultimately result in the act 9f giving a gift. In s9me cases, these m9tivati9ns can 6e sinister, intenti9nally 9r 9therwise; 6ut the vast maj9rity 9f gifts are well-intended.

Even s9, it w9uld serve us well, as a c9mmunity, t9 take the time t9 examine s9me 9f the implicit messages that c9me acr9ss when we give s9me9ne a gift. We 9ught t9 6e mindful 9f when we are giving s9me9ne a reas9n t9 feel 96ligated t9 give us a gift in return, and 6e aware 9f ways t9 minimize the pressure t9 d9 s9 unnecessarily. Additi9nally, we 9ught t9 6e aware 9f 9ur 9wn intenti9ns when it c9mes t9 giving gifts. Are y9u giving this gift 6ecause y9u care a69ut the pers9n, 9r d9 y9u have an9ther reas9n? These are the questi9ns we must ask 9urselves. And if we kn9w the answer, is it 9ne we feel satisfied with?

Ackn9wledgements:

It w9uld 6e asinine t9 neglect t9 thank my g99d friend P9rrim Maryam @justdrinkerthings f9r the gift she s9 graci9usly gave t9 me. P9rrim, the care and eff9rt that y9u put int9 this gift was m9re than I ever expected. I d9n’t mean t9 get sentimental in the ackn9wledgements, 6ut with9ut that care and eff9rt, I w9uld n9t have 6een inspired t9 think a69ut gifts in an analytical c9ntext, let al9ne write all 9f this up. I 9nly h9pe that my gratitude c9mes acr9ss, despite all the discussi9n 9f ulteri9r m9tives. Thank y9u.

#long post /#l9ng p9st #9n gifts #gifts as a c9ncept #the s9cial implicati9ns 9f giving gifts #6asic analysis #gratitude in ackn9wledgements #((i am so fucking sorry @ mobile users))#((i am also so fucking sorry @ anyone who reads any of this))

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c9lum6ia · 5 years ago

Text

@werewolfdrool replied to your post: @werewolfdrool liked your post:HI ARE WE TALKING...

IM S9 GLAD WERE EFFECTIVELY C9MMUNICATING HERE IN THIS DAY AND AGE I CAN REALLY FUCKING APPRECIATE THE W9NDERFUL SMILEY FACE Y9U JUST PLACED INSTEAD 9F USING Y9UR THINKPAN IN C9NJUNCTI9N WITH Y9UR GRASPER NU6S T9 REALLY H9NE IN 9N WHAT Y9URE TRYING T9 SAY T9 ME AND I A6S9LUTELY 9NE TH9USAND AND TEN PERCENT UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS Y9URE TRYING T9 SAY T9 ME WHAT A W9NDERFUL LIFE I MUST 6E LIVING WHERE S9ME9NE CAN EXPRESS THEMSELVES S9 FREELY AND 9PENLY WITH9UT ANY MISC9MMUNICATI9NS 9R HAVING T9 RESTATE WHAT IS IS THEIR TRYING T9 SAY IN M9RE PRECISE W9RDS

WHAT C9ULD 6E M9RE PRECISE THAN ( :

H9W 9N ALTERNIA C9ULD I EVER C9MPARE IN USING ALTERNIAN IN SUCH A WAY THAT I C9ULD EVER C9NVEY SUCH A C9MPLEX YET T9 THE P9INT ANSWER T9 SUCH A STUPID QUESTI9N THAT I W9ULD EVER PRESENT T9 Y9U THE SAVANT 9F LANGUAGE 9VER HERE

ACTUALLY H9W DARE I ASK F9R M9RE THAN JUST ( : N9W THAT IM THINKING A69UT IT H9W A6S9LUTELY FUCKING DARE I L99K AT THAT D9U6LE D9T L99K AT THE EVER S9 SLIGHT CURVATURE 9F WHAT IS T9 REPRESENT A SU6TLE SMILE

H9W FUCKING G9D DAMN DARE I F9R HAVING THE A6S9LUTE GAUL T9 ASK Y9U WHAT Y9U WANT FR9M ME

MY AP9L9GIES DEAR SIR F9R IT WAS I WH9 FUCKED UP

#werewolfdrool #>SERM9NS

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li6ertas · 7 years ago

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@sugargloat @binaryrevolutionary

Seems that there is quite a small influx 9f f9ll9wers. Well, greetings t9 y9u, I am sure. My name is Kankri Vantas and I welc9me y9u t9 my 6l9g.

I g9 6y he/him, that s9rt 9f thing, and I’m well int9 699ks and I am currently trying t9 take care 9f an egg. It has yet t9 hatch and I am unsure if it ever will at this p9int, 6ut here is h9ping that I can handle it..

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signlss · 7 years ago

Note

✪

send ‘✪’ for my muse to describe a nightmare instead.

All my dreams tend t9 6e nightmares 6ut I supp9seI can speak 9f my m9st recent...

I.. I was 6r9ught 6ack t9 where I had met Disciple f9r the first time and I felt like a gh9st here. She c9uld n9t see me n9r n9tice me and all I c9uld see is that she had aged ten f9ld. She was elderly at this p9int 6ut I just knew it was her. She l99ked angry and alm9st senile with the way she was 6ehaving. She was g9ing up against f9ur high6l99ds and yes as much 9f a fight she put up she didn’t survive. All they wanted was this 699k she kept denying t9 speak 9f and with9ut much warning I watched her perish 6y..

I’ll spare y9u the details.

#.Meme #violence mention #centurionaquarius

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quietmillennial · 7 years ago

Conversation

Concern

Cronus: Doll, are you comin' to bed sometime?

Kankri: 9h, Cr9nus. I'll c9me to 6ed 9nce I'm satisfied with my resp9nse t9ward this uneducated user.

Cronus: But you havwen't had a full night's sleep in almost a wveek. I wvorried, Kan.

Kankri: (annoyed, distracted) N9 need, darling. I am 9ld en9ugh t9 care f9r myself.

Cronus: (persuasion in his tone) I knowv, but it wvould make me feel a lot better, babe.

Kankri: (taken aback) Y9u're...c9ncerned a69ut my well-6eing? Why d9es that 69ther y9u?

Cronus: Vwell, yeah. I didn't think I vwas doin' that shitty a job as yer matesprit.

Kankri: ...

Cronus: Did I trigger you somehowv?! (nervousness edges into his tone) I'm sorry if I did!

Kankri: ...N9, y9u...(lost in thought)

Cronus: Kankri, I can't read yer mind, svweetheart.

Kankri: I supp9se there was m9re to quadrants that I first th9ught. I did n9t kn9w s9 much...em9ti9n went int9 this. S9 much c9nsiderti9n...

Cronus: (chuckles) Vwhat did you think it vwas, sex vwith no strings attached? Just a couple a cuddles here and there?

Kankri: (embarrassed) Alm9st 9n p9int...

Cronus: ...(too stunned to speak)

Cronus: ...If that could havwe possibly been the case, then vwhy vwould I be so patient about pailin'? Vwhy vwouldn't I just have taken you, if that's all I had to do. (a dangerous tone drips into his voice)

Kankri: (gulps) Cr9nus...

Cronus: I-I'm sorry. Shouldn't havwe said that. But...do you understand that I care about you?

Kankri: Well, I underst99d that s9me 6ehavi9urs were always ta699, even in a kismesistude. Such as rape. It's a s9cial standard-

Cronus: (interrupting) Do you understand that I lovwe you?

Kankri: Cr9nus, I...(becomes shy, scared)...s9rry. (hangs head)

Cronus: Hey, now, lovwe. Don't. It's alright. Nothin' to be shy of. I'vwe got you. I'll...alvways havwe you, 'kay?

Kankri: (smiling) Alright. And Cr9nus?

Cronus: Hmm?

Kankri: Flushed f9r y9u.

Cronus: (chuckling) Let's get you to bed, svweetheart.

#cronkri #cronus ampora #kankri vantas #kancro #homestuck #matespritship #red #flushed

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circumlocutorygasconade-blog · 7 years ago

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@6l99dstained I appreciate the f9ll9w, alth9ugh I'm afraid y9u might n9t find anything particularly amusing ar9und here. Regardless, I'd like y9u t9 feel welc9me, and express my h9pe that y9u gain s9me am9unt 9f pleasure fr9m y9ur ch9ice. Please, feel free t9 c9ntact me at any p9int, sh9uld y9u need 9r want t9. I admit that I'm s9mewhat curi9us t9 meet an 'alt'?

#my ap9l9gies if y9u are indeed n9t an 'alt' 9f mine #merely #the quick few m9ments I t99k t9 check y9ur 6l9g suggested that y9u were

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pesterloglog · 1 year ago

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Meenah Peixes, Mituna Captor, Kankri Vantas

Act 6, page 5308

MEENAH: hey tuna you want to help me go kill haha i cant even finish this question while staying serious

MITUNA: N0 8U7H WH47 1 D0 W4NK

MITUNA: 17H 70 M4N741N7 PR3C4R10U5 8U7 M057HL3Y 5U5741N3D 84L4NC3 0N MY 71GH7 4ZZ F4LLD0WN 5L47

MITUNA: M4YF3 GR1N D0N 50M3 5H17

#5P0RN75

MEENAH: what will you grind on

MITUNA: 1 V0LUN733R

MITUNA: 7H47 7H1NG 70 83

MITUNA: U0YU0U

MEENAH: gross bro

MEENAH: dunno how latula even deals

MITUNA: 1M 50RRY

MITUNA: 8U73 4L50

MITUNA: FUCH Y0UR 4ND Y0UR FUCKY CHUMPHY 5UCKYFUCK FR0NGHUMPH1NG 8R1ND3 573M R1G7H UP3 Y0UR 5H17F7Y PH3L5M504K3D PR083CHU7H3 71L7 1Z 5UCK 4ZZ 8171CH 15 5UCKKY 5UCHY FUCK37Y 5UCKH0L3 FUCKY FCUK3Y FUCK FUCK FUCK

MEENAH: holy mackerel

MEENAH: them was sick fires mostly

#at least the parts that were actual words

MEENAH: hey isnt the afterlife supposed to heal people or

MEENAH: i dont undersand

MEENAH: why is it that pyrope still cant smell

MEENAH: and you still got horrible brain problems

#dont tell me leijons still deaf

MEENAH: i give up on figuring out the existential mysteries

MITUNA: W4D3R

MEENAH: )(-EY FUCK YOU!!!

KANKRI: I feel I sh9uld jump in here at this m9ment, 6ef9re this escalates any further, and we start thr9wing ar9und hateful rhet9ric that we can't take 6ack.

MEENAH:

#aw shell no

KANKRI: Mituna, I kn9w y9u 9ften struggle with this, 6ut y9u just used an extremely der9gat9ry and hurtful caste-specific slur, which as y9u pr96a6ly kn9w was 9nce c9mm9nly used t9 disparage sea-dwelling mem6ers 9f 9ur s9ciety, 9r land-dwelling castes wh9 were especially c9mplicit in furthering the 9ppressive Fuscia-D9wn p9wer structure. N9w, we all need t9 realize that R9yal-Vs and th9se rare few wh9 are even higher such as Meenah, as mem6ers 9f the arist9cracy enj9y a tremend9us p9siti9n 9f privilege 9ver 9thers, and theref9re we cann9t view such ver6al transgressi9ns against them as equivalent t9 th9se targeting the underprivileged, 6ut it needs t9 6e p9inted 9ut that such radi9active language is a6s9lutely the w9rst kind 9f well-p9is9ning which is n9thing 6ut c9unterpr9ductive when 9thers are trying t9 pursue an h9nest dial9gue a69ut critically imp9rtant s9cial pr96lems.

#slurs #hurtful #struggle #radi9active #well p9is9ning #c9unterpr9ductive #pr96lems

MITUNA: .................,....

KANKRI: And Meenah, while I can understand y9ur frustrati9n 9ver 6eing ver6ally assaulted under any circumstance, it is incum6ent 9n me t9 remind y9u that Mituna requires a certain am9unt 9f special c9nsiderati9n and m9re than a little patience. Please try t9 resist taking his 6ait, which I'm guessing is m9stly well intended(?), 6ef9re its c9ntenti9us undert9w pulls y9u further int9 an exchange laden with deeply pr96lematic expressi9ns 9f a6leism, a6leist slurs, and 9ther such manifestati9ns 9f unc9nsci9na6ly unchecked a6ility privilege.

#a6leism #a6ility privilege #6ait #undert9w #are the aquatic terms helping?

MEENAH: vantas what the actual fuck are you doing here

MEENAH: how are you even in this chat yo

MEENAH: you arent even remotely in the same corporeal vicinity as us like i literally do not understand how you just jumped into the conversation like that

MEENAH: can you maybe get lost?

#make like a clam and scray

KANKRI: 9n the 9ther hand, if I'm 6eing h9nest, I've f9und Mituna's entire existence t9 6e a pretty pr96lematic impediment t9 the advancement and 9verall awareness 9f a6leism and its painful manif9ld c9nsequences f9r una6ilitied pers9ns. The speech impediment, frankly, I c9uld d9 with9ut, and I'm 6y n9 means ecstatic 9ver his t9rrential 6ig9try and h9stility. 9n the 9ne hand, I want t9 6e sensitive t9 him as a pers9n and as a friend, 6ut 9n the 9ther, what kind 9f message d9es his 6ehavi9r send? And frankly, I'm n9t crazy a69ut the helmet, either.

MITUNA: W4LT5 WR00NG W17H MY H4ML37 8(

KANKRI: N9thing, friend, it's a really c99l helmet and it's a g99d l99k f9r y9u. 6ut are we n9w t9 assume that all th9se wh9 are stricken with y9ur particular disadvantage9n will 6e similarly pr9ne t9 require such headgear, due t9 falling d9wn and hitting their heads frequently?

MITUNA: 8U7H 1 D0 F4LL D0WN 4ND H157 MY H34D FR3QUN3UN74NY

KANKRI: 9h, I kn9w y9u d9, and I think y9u sh9uld c9ntinue wearing it f9r y9ur safety, particularly if y9u c9ntinue t9 insist 9n fl9undering a69ut 9n y9ur danger9us t9y. It's m9re a69ut the unf9rtunate message y9u are sending 9verall, with certain aspects 9f y9ur pers9nality and existence, that's all.

MITUNA: 1M 50RRY

KANKRI: As a friend, I w9uldn't want t9 change anything a69ut y9u, well, n9t m9st things. I just think y9u may n9t 6e d9ing y9urself 9r th9se wh9 are similarly disadvantaged any fav9rs with, what I'm h9ping, is a perfectly inn9cent array 9f traits and mannerisms. 8ut again, I say this with all due sensitivity.

MEENAH: vantas youre being a shit dont talk about him like that

KANKRI: Anyway, I didn't mean t9 derail. I'll 6e 9n my way. Please c9ntinue y9ur discussi9n, and try t9 keep s9me 9f the issues I descri6ed at length in mind.

MEENAH: i hate all of my friends so fucking much

#homestuck #meenah peixes #mituna captor #kankri vantas #homestuck act 6 #page 5308 #homestuck act 6 act 3 #openbound

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cens9r · 7 years ago

Text

@trolldannyzuko

Well it wasn't quite f9r that reas9n. Hm. H9w sh9uld I put this.

F9r 9ne, he happened t9 6e the 9ne t9 put me int9 the game, and we had 6rief c9nversati9ns here and there. 6ut 9ur interests had never quite lined up. I'm sure it's safe t9 imply that the "wizard phase" is s9mething shared with m9st alternastes. If n9t then I ap9logize f9r implying that it was a shared past interest.

I w9uldnt have c9nsidered my sessi9ns Cr9nus as 6eing a cl9se friend, I d9nt even kn9w what happened t9 him 9nce he entered the game. Whether he ascended, 9r.. If he's even 9ut in the 6u66les. 6ut at this p9int it's n9t w9rth fussing 9ver. It's rather irrelevant even.

May6e I did have m9re pleasantries with my peers, 6ut t9ward the end 9f 9ur sessi9n that wasn't the case. That's where I'll leave that.

#trolldannyzuko #Alternates #sessi9ns #p9tential false claims #wizard and magic #death implications #replies

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gynecic-arbitrator · 8 years ago

Text

-- circuitousGrievance [CG] began pestering gynecicArbitrator [GA] at 22:35 --

CG: I kn9w the last thing y9u pr9bably want t9 think a69ut after all these weeks is any t9pic t9 d9 with children, 6ut I have an inquiry if y9u kn9w if s9me9ne has claimed cust9dy 9f Lifera and Davenf9rth's wriggler.

GA: Oh. It's fine, Kankri.

GA: Derek came by and picked her up. She's been staying with him and Riley fo+r no+w.

CG: That is g99d, I supp9se I just wanted t9 6e certain s9me9ne has taken her in.

GA: Yeah. I sho+uld have let yo+u kno+w. That's my bad.

GA: She's fine.

GA: But o+f co+urse, this is the part where I ask ho+w yo+u're do+ing.

CG: It is alright, it w9uld n9t exactly 6e y9ur resp9nsi6lity t9 d9 s9.

CG: And I am 9kay given the circumstances 9f the recent murder 9f my previ9us caretaker.

GA: That's...

GA: Definitely o+ne way to+ put that.

CG: Well it is the straight f9rward way 9f saying it.

GA: I'm no+t go+ing to+ pry abo+ut it. I kno+w we've been do+wn this ro+ad befo+re... As unfo+rtunate as that is.

GA: Just kno+w I'm really so+rry, Kankri. And if yo+u need to+ talk, I'm here.

CG: The 9ffer is legitmately appreciated, and my decline 9f it has little t9 d9 with it 6eing y9u, just s9 y9u kn9w. I supp9se I just d9n't feel much like discussing the situati9n in depth with any9ne given that I have already 6een d9wn that line 9f th9ught, the 9nly difference this time really is that there is actual pr99f she is g9ne.

GA: That's perfectly understandable.

GA: Maybe it'd be better to+ o+ffer my co+mpany?

CG: I w9uld 6e willing t9 accept that s9 l9ng as y9u f9und mine t9llera6le.

GA: I think I can manage it.

CG: Then simply inf9rm me when y9u w9uld wish t9 meet up t9gether.

GA: Is no+w a go+o+d time?

CG: Yes, it can 6e.

GA: Okay. Then I'm co+ming o+ver.

CG: Kn9ck whenever y9u arrive.

PORRIM: *that's a curious way of putting that. knocking pretty much goes without saying. does it imply that she could come in if she didn't knock? is his door unlocked? she's tempted to try, but kankri makes such a fuss about his personal space, and she isn't about to push his buttons right now... so she knocks.*

KANKRI: *Of course he wouldnt keep it unlocked, he doesnt want anyone just barging into his room. Porrim doesnt wait long after knocking because Kankri is there to promptly answer the door. He looks tired, but other then that no obvious signs of distress.* Y9u made it here rather quickly.

KANKRI: It is nice t9 see y9u th9ugh, P9rrim. *He is standing aside to let her pass.*

PORRIM: *tired makes sense... most everyone was tired, and the time to relax with each other was now. she'd been doing a lot of that with mituna, when she wasn't still helping with kids.* I was just eager to+ hang o+ut, I guess.

PORRIM: *snorts a little about the formalities from kankri. it's always amusing, honestly. she walks past him, making herself at home.* I'm glad yo+u're safe.

KANKRI: That sentiment is 9ne I share in regards t9 y9u. *He shuts the door behind her and then crosses over to sit on his couch where she is welcomed to join him. The room is clean, and organized, he had made sure it was before she came over.*

PORRIM: *smiles softly, taking a seat beside him... probably closer then he'd like her to, but oh well. watch her do it anyway.*

KANKRI: *He wont comment on it, hes done isolating himself and can't bring himself to care about her proximity to him. He briefly side eyes her though.* S9.

KANKRI: Y9u spent quite a l9ng stretch 9f time playing gr9up infant caretaker, that must have 6een an experience.

PORRIM: *she lets out the DEEPEST SIGH at the mention of it, leaning back into the couch.* That's an understatement.

PORRIM: Do+n't get me wro+ng, I lo+ve these kids to+ death... But I o+nly have /so+/ much patience. That's a damn go+o+d thing I never stuck aro+und the bro+o+ding caverns. *laughs a little.*

KANKRI: Evidently s9. Quite frankly I'm amazed y9u are still standing, 6ut perhaps that is skewed 6y my pers9nal 9pini9n and relati9n with any and every infant I've ever enc9untered. That is t9 say, a negative situati9n.

PORRIM: *snickers* Do+n't wo+rry. It's quite a feat even when yo+u have a go+o+d relatio+nship with kids.

PORRIM: No+t to+ to+o+t my o+wn ho+rn, o+f co+urse. I'm just as amazed as yo+u are.

KANKRI: D9 y9u feel as th9ugh y9u are, at the very least temp9rarily, d9ne with managing large gr9ups 9f children? N9 9ne w9uld fault y9u f9r needing a 6reak.

PORRIM: *hums a little, looking thoughtful.* Fo+r the mo+st part, yeah. But so+me parents need help after everything that's happened, so+... I do+n't mind helping o+ut there. *she is worried about dirk and jake, but they have a big family so maybe they won't need her...*

KANKRI: 9h, right, that is true... *Once more he's reminded of the other lives they lost and he frowns for a moment before recomposing himself.* I'm sure there are many wh9 will appreciate that.

PORRIM: *nods slowly as she turns the knowledge around in her head as well* Yeah.

PORRIM: We have to+ lo+o+k after each o+ther.

KANKRI: *He sighs and leans against the back of the couch.* Yes, that feels quite evident n9w m9re then ever.

PORRIM: *turns her head to look at him, quiet for a good long moment.*

PORRIM: Kankri?

PORRIM: ... I kno+w we do+n't always get alo+ng...

PORRIM: But I'm glad yo+u're here.

KANKRI: That is true, we d9 n9t r9utinely see eye t9 eye 9n quite a few things, h9wever I d9 c9nsider y9u a friend and I find 9ur aquaintence t9 6e enj9ya6le.... *Side eyes her again.* Why the sudden c9nfessi9n?

PORRIM: *rolls her eyes, but she didn't expect anything different.* I just tho+ught yo+u sho+uld kno+w.

KANKRI: *Then why did she roll her eyes, HUH. He just can't help be difficult with her.* Then that is very kind 9f y9u and I appreciate it.

PORRIM: Sure thing, Kankri. *shakes her head a little, but she manages a smile anyway.*

PORRIM: Hey. We sho+uld watch a mo+vie o+r so+mething.

KANKRI: Certainly, d9 y9u have a preference t9 a genre, 9r a particular title in mind? Y9u are well aware 9f the vastness 9f my c9llecti9n, I'm certain y9u c9uld name alm9st any decent m9vie and I w9uld have it.

PORRIM: Let's watch so+mething light. I'll take any ro+mances that yo+u have. *so long as they're good*

KANKRI: Hmm. Well my taste in m9st r9mances is limited, 6ut I d9 have 9ne classic in mind that I have n9t watched in quite s9me time. 9ne m9ment, please. *He then gets up and goes to retrieve his husktop from the desk, quickly scrolling through his files even as he walks back over. By the time he sets the computer down on the small table in front of them all he has to do is press play and the title credits for Twilight are playing.* N9w I realize this is very inc9rrect and 9ff the mark fr9m rain69w drinker culture, h9wever the n9ti9n 9f the different su6set 9f human "Vampires" are a slightly interesting t9pic l99king at it fr9m a myth9s stand p9int given that there are s9 many tradit9nal earth renditi9ns 9f the same percieved creature. 9n t9p 9f that this m9vie als9 c9ntains references t9 "werew9lf" animagus legends that are als9 rather interesting.

PORRIM: *oh sweet jesus... not twilight... this is basically the worst, most cliched drivel, and not to mention offensive to women... and yet, she too was once young and infatuated by vampire romance media. damn...*

PORRIM: ... Yeah, this'll do+.

KANKRI: *Lets just all be honest with ourselves, there has been at least ONE moment in all our lives in which we genuinely thought twilight was not bad.* I'm glad y9u appr9ve.

KANKRI: *He makes himself comfortable on the couch for this film.*

#circuitousgrievance #in which we have to be there for each other

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69yc9tt-blog · 6 years ago

Text

HAL’s Review 9f Cr9nus’ New Al6um - A Measured Resp9nse

Recently, Cr9nus Amp9ra, an aspiring 6ef9ran musician, released an al6um (linked here: x). I, as s9me9ne wh9 prefers t9 f9rm my 9wn independent 9pini9ns 9n things, t99k the time t9 truly a6s9r6 every n9te 9f his artistry multiple times 6ef9re settling 9n a decisi9n regarding my 9pini9n 9f the al6um. I refrained fr9m reading HAL’s review (linked here: x) until I had settled 9n my 9wn feelings 9n Cr9nus’ music. This p9st is n9t a review 9f Cr9nus’ al6um. Rather, it is a measured resp9nse t9 HAL’s review, specifically.

Preemptive warnings f9r the f9ll9wing p9tential triggers: art, music, critique 9f criticism, criticism, rejecti9n, 9pressi9n in general (n9thing specific 9r detailed in this p9st, 9nly 6rief menti9ns and allusi9ns).

Click thr9ugh f9r my th9ughts.

I’ll 6egin with my th9ughts 9n the al6um. It w9uld 6e disingenu9us 9f me t9 dig int9 HAL’s review, s9 t9 speak, with9ut a disclaimer a69ut my 9pini9n. In as few w9rds as p9ssi6le: I th9r9ughly enj9yed the al6um. 6ut then, that is what music is f9r: enj9yment. Is it n9t? I d9n’t expect every9ne t9 agree with this 9pini9n. G99d music is and will always 6e su6jective. H9wever, I will say that the quality 9f s9me music is m9re su6jective than 9thers, 6ut that is a min9r digressi9n. I’ll c9ntinue.

HAL ackn9wledges the eff9rt laid 9ut 6y Cr9nus in the al6um, specifically n9ting the “charm” in l9ng s9ngs--which I wh9lly agree with. When y9u c9nnect with a s9ng, it is nice when it lasts l9nger than three minutes. As HAL puts it, “They immerse y9u in a w9rld crafted 6y the artist.” This is a w9rld 9f “t9rtured-ness” as HAL puts it. 9n all these fr9nts, HAL is right. Unf9rtunately, this is the p9int at which my appreciati9n f9r his review ends.

HAL claims that the music 9n Cr9nus’ al6um is “6ullshit,” “whiny,” and “mastur6at9ry.” All 9f these criticisms are a testament t9 the fact that HAL is clearly n9t t9rtured in the same ways that Cr9nus clearly is, 6y the t9ne 9f his music. Music all9ws the listener t9 peek int9 the experience 9f an9ther 6eing. In this case, that is Cr9nus. Any9ne wh9 has had the privilege 9f 6eing a6le t9 listen t9 the twelve s9ngs 9n this al6um have 6een gifted a view 9f Cr9nus’ unique experiences.

What I see when I read HAL’s review is an ina6ility t9 take the perspective 9f an9ther pers9n. I see an ina6ility t9 accept that 9ther pe9ple have differing experiences. I see a lack 9f c9mpassi9n f9r s9me9ne struggling with the t9ils 9f rejecti9n.

N9t many pe9ple truly understand the pain that c9mes with 6eing rejected in the ways that Cr9nus has. And his a6ility t9 p9rtray this pain in his music sh9uld n9t 6e 9verl99ked.

The s9und quality is irrelevant, 9nly the c9ntent matters in this instance, and the c9ntent is 96jectively g99d, as l9ng as y9u are a6le t9 c9mprehend the 9ppresive nature 9f rejecti9n, and the pain that g9es al9ng with it.

I will 6e listening t9 the al6um again after I p9st this, and I enc9urage any9ne wh9 reads this t9 give it an9ther listen while c9nsidering what I have said.

#p9st #a measured resp9nse #criticism #critique 9f criticism #rejecti9n #9ppressi9n menti9ns #Cr9nus Amp9ra #Cr9nus menti9n #HAL menti9n #music c9ntent warning #the nature 9f art

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gulescamisade · 8 years ago

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New York: Day 17, Trickster Party

RUFIOH: -even being indoors was making him restless. Rufioh emerges from the safety of the hotel rooms, breathing out. Interestingly, the cold isn't biting at his skin but then... even while he was living on Avalon, it wasn't. Just an interesting thing as he stuffs his hands into his pockets. Trudging thru the snow.-

KANKRI: -It would seem Rufioh wasnt the only one feeling antsy, however after all that has been happening Kankri feels it is a reasonable uncomfortable sensation. He had even for the time being stopped checking the message board, if only to save himself from worrying about things he did not really have any control of right now.-

KANKRI: -He was actually returning from a brief walk when he saw Rufioh exit out of the hotel and he has to do a double take because didnt Rufioh drop off the face of the uu and go to be a farmer or something??-

[The town seems to have an unusual kind of energy today. Some kind of... sweet scent rising in the air. No one seems to be outdoors, marching around brandishing weapons, but all of the buildings are lit up with lights. ESPECIALLY the candy shop. It's been closed ever since they got into town, sure, but now it's practically lit up like a christmas tree-- BRIGHT SHOWLIGHTS showcasing dozens of kinds of candies. CHOCOLATES AND JAWBREAKERS AND SKITTLES AND EVERYTHING UNDER THE RAINBOW.]

ROSE: -She's standing just outside it, looking in through the window with her arms folded. OBVIOUSLY CURIOUS-

KANKRI: -Bright lights AND rufioh?? This is getting weird fast.-

RUFIOH: -No... that's not... well. It's not like Ruf kept in contact with Kankri of all people. It's easy for him to catch sight of him and fix him with a shrewd look. For some reason he hadn't made the connection that Kankri would be here too.-

RUFIOH: ...

RUFIOH: -Before he can bother trying to shoot a greeting to him, he is immediately distracted by the bright lights of the shop. And Rose standing by the shop. With an nimble flap of his wings, he lands next to her.- uh. hey, rose.

RUFIOH: long t1me, no see.

KANKRI: -WOW. Okay well hes going to go stand on the other side of Rose, and not because he's being petty but because yeah this is actually strange and hes curious too.- This st9re has n9t 9nce 6een active 9nce since we have g9tten here...right?

RUFIOH: -kind of mesmerizing... he gazes.-

JOHN: huh. they sure are feeling festive.

RUFIOH: ............ -where the fuck did John come from.-

ROSE: No.

JOHN: -PHASED INTO EXISTENCE BEHINDT HEM. jk. or not???-

RUFIOH: -Don't...-

KANKRI: -From the creation of joy in the universe thats where.-

JOHN: -aww........-

KANKRI: Then this is a little 6it strange.

KANKRI: Als9 hell9 J9hn.... And Rufi9h. -Still inspecting the store front.-

ROSE: Perhaps.

ROSE: ...

RUFIOH: hey. -He can be petty too.-

ROSE: I don't suppose you're curious.

Because I am.

KANKRI: En9ugh t9 g9 inside?

ROSE: Yes.

ROSE: But probably not alone.

KANKRI: Hm. Frankly I am hesitent t9 d9 s9.

RUFIOH: anybody got cash cuz... 1'm out.

JOHN: i'll heroically sacrifice myelf to the cause. and i'll even be the official taste tester if there is actual candy inside. -wink-

KANKRI: Did y9u c9me t9 ask f9r m9ney?

JOHN: -snort- kankri that's rude.

JOHN: -he's laughing tho-

KANKRI: Its a genuine questi9n.

JOHN: -what a penis-

KANKRI: -But John dont worry for once he is intending to be one.-

RUFIOH: }:/ RUFIOH: can't walk 1nto a candy shop w1th no money, dogg.

ROSE: And we are in canada.

KANKRI: 9h I think y9u certainly can, y9u w9uld just n9t 6e leaving with anything.

ROSE: I have managed to find one single coin of canadian currency.

ROSE: It is called a Loonie.

ROSE: I find it bizarre and unsettling.

JOHN: can i see? -hovers-

ROSE: -Holds up the shiny coin in two fingers.-

RUFIOH: a loon1e... RUFIOH: -also swishes a horn, opting to NOT discuss this with Kankri.-

JOHN: :O -ooooooh.-

KANKRI: - BI -

ROSE: Here.

ROSE: -HANDS IT OVER TO JOHN-

ROSE: Please don't drop it.

JOHN: wouldn't dream of it! what do you take me for? -rolls it into his sleeve-

RUFIOH: buy yourself someth1ng n1ce, yo. -aww. This is cute.-

KANKRI: -Turns to peep at it with John since Rufioh wont answer his question.-

JOHN: hey, i'll share. or maybe they use the barter system.

JOHN: -come to think of it how have they even been staying here with no money...-

RUFIOH: -Ask the adults probably.-

RUFIOH: -wait, we're adults...-

JOHN: soooooo....are you guys coming or what? we're loitering.

KANKRI: -More or less.-

KANKRI: I still d9 n9t kn9w if I wh9ly trust any place 9n this planet.

KANKRI: I am s9rry if any9ne takes 9ffense t9 that.

JOHN: -sighs- nah. it's okay. i have to admit, they really let the place go.

JOHN: -just walks into the shop-

KANKRI: -John no.- KANKRI: -Hhhhh, he hesitates to go in but he doesnt want him to go in there alone.-

KANKRI: -Deep breath and hes trailing Johns heels like the pathetic worrier he is.-

RUFIOH: -This is the gayest thing he's ever seen in his life. And he's Rufioh.-

RUFIOH: -keeps hands in his pockets and waits back, just in case Rose wants to go first.-

KANKRI: -Rufioh you cannot judge.-

---

[For the most part, the "LEGAL HUNTERS" have been offering hospitality, if suspicion. Especially with their story of escaping from Flavor Town. It's meager living, sure, but they're helping, so long as the group continues to hunt for their own food and doesn't ask too many questions or attract too much attention. They're a lot more willing to part with necessities like water and a place to sleep than they are anything else, after all. ]

[IT SMELLS SWEET IN THE STORE, regardless. And it's bright! Much brighter than anywhere else in town has been. Everything's been pretty dismal and dark, what with the snow rolling in in waves, but this place is bright and lit and a practical BOMBARDMENT OF COLOR. The candy is extravagantly expensive, worth a whole ASSTON OF LOONIES PER QUARTER POUND, but there's a giant taffy pull, a soda station, ice cream... really, almost anything you could imagine in this deceptively large building, ]

[There is also a clerk. Dressed in pink and white candystripe pants with an apron and paper hat, with a grin from ear to ear. They look pretty heavy, and... human-like? They don't have horns, but most of the other details of their appearance seem ambiguous. Not like looking at a mannequin, no, but it's pretty hard to retain even the slightest memory of this person's general... anything.]

[Aside from the demeanor. The demeanor is FRIENDLY.]

CLERK: :D

KANKRI: -Well at least they seem friendly.-

RUFIOH: -Awww.... he bets Emilet would like a treat from this place. Damn. Rufioh will be careful of his horns in case he swoops by a display.-

RUFIOH: ...sup. -raises hand to the clerk.- sorry to barge 1n outta nowhere.

CLERK: Ha ha! Everyone comes from somewhere! And it's just the right day for a barge! Consider me a harbor, in fact!

JOHN: -he has so many questions, but the most pressing at the moment...is ASSTON a real unit of measurement? and if so, how many Loonies in an ASSTON?-

JOHN: hi there!

JOHN: -he's kind of salivating???-

CLERK: Hi there, son! What can I get for ya?

KANKRI: -John please.-

RUFIOH: -Yeah... this much candy proximity is really distracting.-

KANKRI: -Although this is quite this display, he will give it that.-

KANKRI: Y9u have an extensive c9llecti9n 9f c9nfecti9nary items here.

CLERK: Well, it's a candy store, don'cha know!

JOHN: uh yeah well. nice place you got here.

ROSE: Yes.

ROSE: It is certainly...

ROSE: Colorful.

JOHN: what could we get this for this? -SMOOTHLY PLACES HIS SINGLE, SOLITARY LOONIE ON THE COUNTER.-

JOHN: -nothing but confidnece, folks-

KANKRI: -So smooth..-

JOHN: -sparkles-

CLERK: -LEANS OVER AT THE COIN... peers at it. PICKS IT UP AND BITES IT.-

KANKRI: -Isnt that unsanitary.-

CLERK: Well, I can tell ya that this here is a legitimate piece of currency, yessir!

CLERK: Tell ya what, you seem like nice kids.

CLERK: -he reaches over the counter... and pulls out one of those LARGE SWIRL LOLLIPOPS.-

CLERK: -He holds it out, RIGHT TO JOHN-

JOHN: wow thanks! that's generous of you. C: -his eyes get... VERY big. he's magnetically drawn to it. IT'S SO COLORFUL.-

RUFIOH: -Bruh... Also mesmerized by the swirly colors.-

KANKRI: -Man he just has an odd feeling about this he cant shake but on the other hand thats really actually pretty generous of the clerk, maybe they are a nice guy after all.-

JOHN: well if you guys don't mind my cooties i'll totally share. -kind of distracted now. he wants this in his mouth like NOW.-

RUFIOH: -Lmao. Snrks.- clerk's got swag, 1 th1nk.

KANKRI: I w9nt say swag 6ut I d9 think that it is really nice 9f y9u, mr...?

JOHN: -he can't wait another minuite, he's gonna LICK IT.-

[it tastes...]

[OVERWHELMINGLY SWEET]

[ 🍭]

[Sweetness invades his senses. SWEETNESS IS EVERYTHING.]

JOHN: -!!!!!!! OH SHIT. this is the best thing he's ever tasted. touched heard? felt? just kinda goes quiet as all the colors in the store go all MARIO STAR POWER on him. He even hears the music.-

CLERK: Ha ha! Please leave the premesis.

JOHN: -THESE COLORS SMELL DELICIOUS!!!!-

RUFIOH: um................... -Oh my g od.-

RUFIOH: -backing away slowly before BOLTING OUT THE DOOR.-

KANKRI: ...? Wait what? -Looks back at John for a moment and then goes wall eyed.-

RUFIOH: -FUCK THIS SHIT BYE.-

KANKRI: -FUCK.-

KANKRI: -IS THIS WHAT HE THINKS IT IS.-

JOHN: -he doesn't really realize it but he has started YELLING, losing all conception of an inside voice- HAHAHA WOW!!!! CANADIANS REALLY KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT CANDY, I GOTTA SAY. THIS IS THE LEGIT FLAVORTOWN!!! HAHAHAHHAHA!!!

ROSE: -STEPS BACK-

ROSE: Oh.

ROSE: I see.

JOHN: ROSE ROSE!!! YOU GOTTA TRY THIS!!!

KANKRI: -Steps back with her but isnt fleeing like Rufioh.-

KANKRI: R9se, d9 n9t try it.

KANKRI: D9 n9t d9 it, d9 n9t g9 near it, I am n9t even certain y9u sh9uld g9 near J9hn at this p9int.

JOHN: WHAT THE HECKITY, DON'T GO NEAR ME? BUT ALL I WANT TO BE IS NEAR YOU.

JOHN: I LOVE THE TWO OF YOU SO MUCH!!! I CAN BARELY CONTAIN IT.!!!

JOHN: -phases out of existence.-

KANKRI: -HHHH NO.-

KANKRI: That.

KANKRI: That is very sweet 6ut als9 J9hn I think y9u really need t9--

KANKRI: -Where did he go..-

JOHN: - I GUESS YOU COULD SAY HE'S GONE...WITH THE WIND.-

ROSE: I'm... not...

KANKRI: -WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN.-

KANKRI: UM. -Hes turning around and scanning for any sign of his rail, this is a nightmare.-

ROSE: -She's gonna slowly back out of the store.-

RUFIOH: -Outside the shop, Rufioh is flying OUTTIE. He saw this happen last time and it was HORRIFYING. Never again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-

RUFIOH: -rapidly typing something with his comm.-

JOHN: -POPS! right in front of rufioh- NOT SO FAST, BUDDY! BATTERRRRRRR UPPPPP!!!

JOHN: -HE'S SWINGING THE LOLLIPOP RIGHT AT HIM.-

KANKRI: -Hears Johns voice and he is bolting outside the godforsaken shop.-

ROSE: -She's sitll not much more than MILDLY PERTURBED BY THIS.- ROSE: You seem to have some understanding of this.

ROSE: As a thing that's happening.

JOHN: -His appearance has changed somewhat.-

JOHN: http://static.tumblr.com/e4acae9096a43fe04e7d2ef3de8e0637/kfbxgjb/eydn4clnm/tumblr_static_emvxq80dwfcoocksos0cogg.gif

RUFIOH: -freezes in the air, fumbling and then dropping his communictor as John bat swings the whole lollipop at his face. He keel spins in the air with a holler... at least until the spinning colors fill his vision and everything feels and tastes PIXIE STICK ROCKIN'.- johnnnnnnNOOOOOOOOOOOHYEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JOHN: -thumbs up- geeEEEEEEEET DUNKED ON!

ROSE: o-o

KANKRI: 9nly s9mewhat...

KANKRI: If I am c9rrect in my assumpti9n s9mething like this t99k place while we were still 9n Aval9n, its like an 9ut6reak 9f a temp9rary disease 9r drug. I had the... unpleasant misf9rtune 9f 6eing c9ntaminated with it. It is n9t lethal I think, h9wever I will n9t say its n9t destructive 9r danger9us c9nsidering I came 9ut 9f the high c9vered in 6ruises fr9m 6ein sh9t with a p9wer h9se and--.........

KANKRI: 9h dear.

RUFIOH: -The next time the other two see Rufioh, his vest is lit up with a rows and rows of flashing pixie stick candy and the grin is wide on his face. He flies but has no need to flap his wings. He flaps them anyway, spreading SPARKLING SUGAR EVERYWHERE.- WHAT'S UP, DOGGS!!!!!!!!!!

ROSE: ...I--

ROSE: Should we do something about this?

ROSE:

ROSE: Did the hose actually work?

KANKRI: -He is covering his nose and mouth with his hands to keep the dust out of his lungs just in case.-

KANKRI: -Looks at Rose and shakes his head, his voice coming out muffled.- (N9 it didnt.)

KANKRI: (I had t9 wait until it left my system.)

ROSE: Oh.

RUFIOH: -bounces to the beat of some music, summoning up a giant candy sword.- HEY YA'LL LOOK A L1L FUCK1NG GLOOMY DOWN THERE!!! WHAT G1VES??? THE N1GHT'S YOUNG AND 1 TH1NK 1T'S T1ME WE CELEBRATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! }8D

ROSE: -She holds up her hand, just in case. A TINY SPARK FIZZLES OUT OF IT. Nothing, still. Crap.-

ROSE: Hngh.

JOHN: -POPS IN RIGHT BESIDE ROSE.-

KANKRI: -Rufioh no please.-

JOHN: I COULDN'T AGREE MORE, BUDDY!!!! A FRIEND DOESN'T LET A FRIEND STAY DOWN IN THE DUMPS. THIS PLANET MAY BE FUCKED BEYOND ALL RECOGNITION, BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN WE CAN'T HAVE A GOOD OLD TIME! ROSE! YOU LOOK MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN EVER! THAT HAIR! THOSE EYES! OH GOOD GRAVY! OH MY STARS AND GARTERS! YOU'RE SUCH A SPECIAL GAL. SUCH A FRIEND!!!

ROSE: Please stand still.

RUFIOH: -swooping down to crack the candy sword clean in half over Kankri's head.- YEAH BO1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROSE: I am trying to work majyyks upon you.

ROSE: Nhgh.

JOHN: BUT HOW CAN YOU WORK YOUR MAGIC...WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE ME UNDER YOUR SPELL??? -POPS ALL AROUND HER, CACKLING.-

ROSE: How are you doing that????

KANKRI: -He turns to look at the suddenly appeared John and had lowered his hands to say something when suddenly fucking Rufioh comes in and cracks the sword over his head and not only does that SMART but when he inhales a gasp of shock hes taking in the cloud of pixi dust that explodes from the broken sugar weapon.-

JOHN: -APPEARS RIGHT NEXT TO HIM, TO CATCH HIM IN HIS ARMS.-

JOHN: -BUT HE SPINS HIM A LITTLE, LIKE THEY'RE DANCING.-

ROSE: -She's not entirely sure whether or not she should yell for help. MAYBE SHE SHOULD.-

KANKRI: -Coughing in a thick cloud of sugar dust but before it even fades his wheezing is turning into giggles. His wardrobe has had a complete color change, his hair is green, and is littered with chalky candy hearts with various #warnings on them.-

KANKRI: -And who?? Spin ME??-

RUFIOH: LOL LOL LOL. THAT WAS WAY TOO FUCK1NG EASY DOGG!!! I LOVE 1T WHEN YOU MAKE SH1T EASY FOR ME! }8D RUFIOH: KANKS, MY MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET'S GET CRUNK!!!!!

JOHN: WHO ELSE??? :DDDD -DIPS HIM-

KANKRI: -OH WELL THIS IS JUST LOVELY, He is spun and poses with his leg out when dipped.- HEH99!

KANKRI: 9H MY I TH9UGHT ID NEVER FEEL LIKE THIS AGAIN.

JOHN: WHAT A SILLY QUESTION! IT'S EASY! LIKE EVERYTHING IS EASY RIGHT NOW.

KANKRI: -Turns head to Rufioh.- CRUNKED Y9U SAY, RUFI9H??

JOHN: YOU JUST NEED TO ACCEPT WHAT YOU CAN'T CHANGE AND BECOME THE CHAOS!!!!

RUFIOH: -pumps his arms and spins in the air, wings tucked close to him.- CRUNK'S THE WORD THE VERB OF THE N1GHT!!!!!! A1N'T NOTH1NG HOLD1N' ME BACK NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KANKRI: I W9ULD 6E M9RE THEN WILLING T9 D9 S9 WITH Y9U 6UT 9NLY IF J9HN MAY J9IN AS WELL!

ROSE: That is certainly a philosophy that has very little to do with the candy on your head, yes.

KANKRI: 9H!! -Dramatic two hand gasp.- AND R9SE T99!

KANKRI: -360 degree spin in Johns arms to stare right at her.-

KANKRI: -8D-

ROSE: ...

ROSE: I don't like that someone just said my name.

RUFIOH: ROSE 1S BOSS!!!!! HAVE YOU SEEN HER DO ANYTH1NG, DOGG???

KANKRI: YES THAT WAS ME I SAID Y9UR NAME, R9SE.

ROSE: This is growing increasingly worrying.

JOHN: ROSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE. YOU'RE SO GREAT!!! I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY AND SAFE.

JOHN: FOR A MILLION BAJILLION YEARS!!!

KANKRI: ALS9 YES RUFI9H, SHE IS INDEED THE 69SS! MY 69SS EVEN HAHA. SHE IS S9 PATIENT AND PUTS UP WITH MY C9NSTANT INC9MPITENCE SHE IS S9 W9NDERFUL.

JOHN: -SPIN ATTACKS KANKRI INTO RUFIOH'S ARMS AND GOES TO EMBRACE ROSE IN HIS TID.- YAHOOO!

ROSE: HRK.

ROSE: -SHE IS CRUSHED.-

KANKRI: -WOOP there him go Hi Rufioh-

KANKRI: -Crashes into him-

ROSE: CAN YOU. PERHAPS.

JOHN: SO GOOD. SO PRECIOUS.

ROSE: PUT ME DOWN?????

JOHN: IF I MUST!!! I'D DO ANYTHING FOR YOU!!!

KANKRI: -Also pulls out his comm device feeling the notifications of Rose's posts.- 999H!

KANKRI: R9SE Y9U ARE 6RILIANT AS ALWAYS YES EVERY9NE SH9ULD KN9W A69UT WHAT IS TAKING PLACE RIGHT N9W, QUICK RUFI9H W9ULD Y9U PLEASE D9 ME THE H9N9R 9F TAKING VISUAL D9CUMENTATI9N WITH ME HEEHEE.

JOHN: WHAT A GREAT IDEA!!! -FLIPS OUT HIS OWN PHONE FOR SELFIE MAGIC! - SAY CHEESE, MISS LALONDE!!!

ROSE: -SHE IS STILL KINDA CRUSHED HERE THOUGH. PLEASE SAVE HER FROM THESE BOYS-

ROSE: -MAKES THE SIGN FOR 'HELP'-

RUFIOH: -hups Kankri up in his arms.- DUDE, 1 WOULD DO ANYTH1NG FOR YOU!!!!! WHY DON'T YOU JUST CH1LL 1N ONE ARM AND 1'LL USE THE OTHER FOR BANGARANG1N' SELF1ES, BRO???? HAVE YOU NOT1CED 1'VE BEEN WORK1NG OUT??????????

JOHN: -GIVES HER A BIG FAT SMOOCH ON THE HEAD, BUT HE HAS ALSO RELEASED HER. fortunately he's got the attention span of a lemur on aderall.-

MEULIN: -hiding in the bushes.... but then LEAPS OUT to tackle Rose-

MEULIN: ... -HOW CONVENIENT HE ALREADY LET HER GO. GREAT. NOW SHE'S JUST. TACKLING HER AWAY FOR NO REASON.-

ROSE: -She falls from John's arms... ONLY TO IMMEDIATELY GET TACKLED AWAY FROM MEULIN.-

KANKRI: -Settles in his arms.- WHY YES I HAVE ACTUALLY!! -feels the muscle with his free hand.- VERY IMPRESSIVE! KANKRI: ALS9 HERE KINDLY USE MY DEVICE! -hands it to him.-

ROSE: -WHEEZES MORE.-

ROSE: -she's gone limp and accepted her fate.-

ROSE: ...Hi Meulin.

MEULIN: -ROLLS, and tries to scoop Rose up- RUUUNNN!

RUFIOH: 1 GOT YOU MAN!!!!!! -holds the device up and snaps a sweet selfie.- }8D

ROSE: -She is carried, limply, like luggage.-

MEULIN: 😤

ROSE: I see you have some experience with this too.

MEULIN: NOPE!!!!

KANKRI: -YES take all the selfies.-

ROSE: I am incredibly weirded out.

ROSE: ... ROSE: Please keep carrying me.

MEULIN: YOU CAT IT!

JOHN: -SQUEEZES BETWEEN RUFIOH AND KANKRI AND STICKS OUT HIS TONGUE-

KANKRI: PERFECT! MAY I HAVE THE PH9NE 6ACK S9 I MAY-- J9HN!! -Smooches the humans cheek.-

RUFIOH: HAHAHAHA, WOAH! THREE DUDES AND A CAMERA! SEEN ENOUGH HENTA1 TO KNOW WHERE TH1S 1S GO1N'!!!!! -laughing.- YA'LL ARE FUCK1NG ADORABLE!!!!!

JOHN: HOO HOO!!! FUCK YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSS!!! SHOWER ME IN KISSES!!!

MEULIN: ε=ε=ε=ヾ(э^・ｪ・^)э -dives into snowy bushes and tucks them both down-

ROSE: -wheezes.-

ROSE: Thanks.

ROSE: I, um.

ROSE: According to Kankri?

ROSE: We have to just...

ROSE: Wait it out.

ROSE: It's some kind of magic.

ROSE: He said drug, but I'm sure this is magic.

JOHN: I WANT TO BATHE IN THE GLOW OF FREE AND LOVING MALE AFFECTION!!!

RUFIOH: THAT'S THE WAY TO GO, DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!! 1T'S GREAT, 1SN'T 1T???????????

JOHN: IT'S SO!!!

KANKRI: RUFI9H THAT IS A VERY VULGAR T9PIC T9 INTR9DUCE T9 THIS SU6JECT, AS HANDS9ME AND W9NDERFUL J9HN IS I W9ULD NEVER DREAM 9F ENGAGING IN SUCH ACTIVITIES WITH MY M9IRAIL. KISSES WILL SUFFICE JUST FINE! -Peppers john's face in them. please take a picture of this.-

JOHN: L I B E R A T I N G!!!!

MEULIN: IT LOOKS PRETTY MURRGICAL...

MEULIN: BUT WHAT THE HELL IS IT? (=ΦェΦ)

ROSE: -wait god damn it-

ROSE: -She actually leans up a lil-

ROSE: (I refuse to believe these are the circumstances John is coming out.)

JOHN: -MAKES THE DIAMOND SIGN IN SOME OFTHE SELFIES.-

RUFIOH: -snap snap snap 📸- };D };D };D

MEULIN: COMING OUT OF WHAT?

KANKRI: -Hate to break it to you rose but john has been gay for some time.-

KANKRI: -Reaches for his comm now.- THANK Y9U S9 MUCH RUFI9H!

ROSE: Nothing.

ROSE: Forget it.

KANKRI: I THINK EVERY9NE SH9ULD GET T9 SEE THE GL9RI9US SIGHT 9F 9UR THREE WAY AFFECTI9NS HEE H99!

ROSE: ...I suppose we just live here now...

RUFIOH: HEY KANKR1!!!! YOU KNOW WHAT 1 HEAR??? 1 HEAR...................................

RUFIOH: A FR1END. }833 -sprouts a little anime cat ear headband up at his horns.-

MEULIN: YEP. -nestles into the snow... she doesn't need this-

JOHN: COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT BETTER MYSELF KANKS!!! MY LOVE FOR YOU IS PURE AND UNAFFECTED BY LUST!!! BUT NOTHING COULD BETTER SERVE TO DISTRACT ME FROM THE DEAD AS DOORNAILS LOVE OF MY LIFE THAN EXPLORING THE UNCESSARILY TANGLED AND COMPLICATED JUNGLES OF HUMAN SEXUALITY!!!

KANKRI: -Wait on his horns or your horns.-

JOHN: I MEAN REALLY, WHAT A TRIP!!!!

MEULIN: BUT IT'S NICE TO SPEND THIS CLAWLITY TIME WITH YOU, ROSE.

ROSE: If that's what you'd like to call this.

ROSE: ...Wow, that sounded kind of mean.

RUFIOH: -On his own horns, obviously. And now he has cosplay piddy paws on his hands. Shit's getting mega furry up in here.- THE Y1FFEN1NG 1S FUCK1NG NYA-GH, BRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KANKRI: 9H J9HN I AM S9 T9UCHED I C9ULD CRY!! IN FACT I MIGHT 6E RIGHT N9W IF IT WASNT F9R MY C9MPLETE INA6ILITY WHEN I AM S9 G9SH DARN HAPPY THANKS T9 THE UNG9DLY SUGAR C9URSING THR9UGH MY VEINS.

KANKRI: I T99 L9VE Y9U S9 DEARLY.

MEULIN: IT IS WHAT I AM CALLING IT IN ORDER TO BE IN DENYAAL. (´⊙ω⊙)

ROSE: Without the circumstance of mind-bending sweets, it would be unambiguously nice, sure.

KANKRI: -Rufioh give him his comm device back before you become a furry.-

JOHN: DUDE YOU LOOK SO CUTE!!!

RUFIOH: -puts the comm back in his butt pocket.- };33 HELL FUCK1NG YEAH 1 LOOK KAWA11 AS SH1T!!!!!!!!!!

MEULIN: ... DID SOMEONE JUST SAY YIFF?

JOHN: THAT ANIME BULLSHIT HAS ME LIKE...!!!

MEULIN: MY GLASSES ARE GETTING REALLY CONFUSED RIGHT NOW. -pulls them off and wipes at the lenses-

MEULIN: (^･ｪ･^)ﾉ⌐■-■

KANKRI: -Rufioh oh my-

KANKRI: THANK Y9U F9R RETURNING MY DEVICES, I D9NT EVEN MIND THAT Y9U JUST T9UCHED ME.

KANKRI: ALS9 RUFI9H I AM S9 GLAD Y9U ARE ACTUALLY HERE, I CANT 6ELEIVE Y9U WERE G9NE F9R S9 L9NG H9W DID ANY 9F US SURVIVE.

JOHN: RUFIOH I HAVE TO BE HONEST, MY FRIEND AND PAL I HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND ALL THIS TIME, NOR WHERE YOU CAME FROM. BUT PRETENDING LIKE I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON IS SO FUCKING STUPID. I'VE DECIDED TO EMBRACE THE CHAOS! HAHAHAHHAHA!!!

ROSE: :T

RUFIOH: THAT'S HOW 1 FEEL TOO BRO!!! D1D YOU KNOW 1T WAS DR1V1NG ME BATSH1T NOT KNOW1NG 1F YOU WERE OKAY??? EVEN 1F 1 WANT TO PUNCH YOU 1N THE GODDAMN FACE! MAYBE ESPEC1ALLY!!!! BUT HEY! HOLD THAT THOUGHT! -the shape of him dissolves in the air... until he shows up behind Meulin in all his anime candy catboy glory.- }833

MEULIN: -OBLIVIOUS. She's working on these lenses.-

ROSE: I don't know if you can read this, but it's probably true. It is all probably terrifyingly true.

RUFIOH: };33 -at Rose.-

ROSE: ...

ROSE: Oh.

ROSE: You see us.

ROSE: -SHIFTS... BACKWARDS...-

MEULIN: -slides shades back on- DO WHAT?

KANKRI: MY TH9UGHT SHALL INDEED 6E HELD! -he calls out after the vanishing Rufioh and clings to John 83-

RUFIOH: 1 SEEEEEEEEEE YOU, MEU MEU. -spreads paw beans in saccharine disposition.- }8D

JOHN: DANCE WITH ME BUDDY! WE'LL DANCE TO THE RESPECTIVE MUSIC IN OUR HEADS!

KANKRI: HE IS S9 L9VELY, EVEN F9R A TR9LL WH9 ATTEMPTED T9 MURDER THE EQUIVILENT 9F MY STEP FATHER, I AM S9 GLAD HE IS HERE AND 6ACK.

JOHN: OH IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED??????????????????????????? RIGHT!!!!

ROSE: ...

JOHN: I REMEMBER NOW!!!

ROSE: Hey, um.

ROSE: Run.

MEULIN: .... FURK. -SCURRIES under the bush and liquids beneath it-

JOHN: EVEN THOUGH I FUCKING HATE DAVENFORTH FOR BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF DAVESPRITE I DON'T KNOW IF HE DESERVED TO BE STABBED! STILL! I REMEMBER HOW BAD I FELT FOR RUFIOH AND EVERYONE IN THAT SITUATION!!! I DID MY BEST TO ENSURE HE'D BE WELL TAKEN CARE OF!!! BUT IT SEEMS HE'S DOING FINE AND DANDY THESE DAYS!!!

JOHN: LOOKS LIKE EVERYTHING WORKED OUT FOR EVERYONE! WHAT A JOY!!!

KANKRI: YES! IT IS WHAT HAPPENED, AND HE AND I ALS9 ENGAGED IN C9UNTLESS FIGHTS WHERE I AM QUITE CERTAIN HE WISHED ME PHYSICAL HARM DEPSITE US 6EING NEAR 6EST FRIENDS F9R A TIME UNTIL HE SUDDENLY SEEMED T9 DISPISE ME 6UT THANK G9SH THAT IS ALL IN THE PAST AND N9W WE CAN JUST 6E HAPPY AND CHEERFUL!! KANKRI 9H AND YES I WILL DANCE WITH Y9U J9HN! I AM IMAGINING THE PERFECT SIMPLE MEL9DY F9R US T9 C9NTENTLY SWAY T9.

RUFIOH: WOAH!!! WHY ARE YOU RUNN1NG AWAY??? THAT HURTS MY FEEL1NGS!!!!!!!!

RUFIOH: YOU WOULD TH1NK YOU WERE T1RED OF 1T AFTER 1 OPENED MY BLOCK AND HOUSE FOR YOU!!! 1'VE ALWAYS JUST WANTED TO HELP, YO!!!!

ROSE: Yes, that is... completely... untenable... and... ROSE: -FLINGS A SNOWBALL AT HIM AND DASHES-

ROSE: -NAILED IT-

JOHN: YOU'RE SO GOOD AT IMAGINING, BRO!!!!

JOHN: WHY CARE ABOUT ANY OF THAT WHEN WE CAN JUST!!!

JOHN: SWAY TOGETHER.

KANKRI: 9H J9HN Y9U ARE S9 RIGHT AS ALWAYS.

JOHN: -SINGS- I JUST WANNA

JOHN: KEEP ON LOVING YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

MEULIN: -WHEEZES under this bush. it's taking time to read all this dialogue on her glasses but it all makes her... kinda sad. because it all feels like stuff she might have said once, trains of thought she might have had.-

MEULIN: YOU CAN'T, THOUGH!!!! -why is she even trying to argue, she sort of laughs anxiously under this bush. THE HECK.-

KANKRI: -Look at these two gayly sway.-

JOHN: -They sway in the air.-

RUFIOH: -DOOFS and eats snow a little bit. Shaking his head with a sparkly laugh.- HAHAHA, THAT'S COOL. 1 M1GHT BE A FUCK FOR BREAK1NG YOUR HEART BUT. LOL! THAT'S 1T! 1'M JUST A FUCK! HEY MEUL1N!!!! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO??? FORGET ABOUT ME TOO! YOU'RE DAMN GOOD AT THAT! 1 TH1NK THAT WOULD HELP EVERYONE 1F YOU ASK ME!!!!!!!!!!

RUFIOH: WHY D1DN'T 1 TH1NK OF THAT SOONER?? HOLY SH1T!

JOHN: (that's the spirit, buddy)

JOHN: -distracted and hypnotized by swirling around in the air with kankri)

KANKRI: -He is so content air dancing with John, he doesnt even mind the heart breaking shit happening with Rufioh right now.-

KANKRI: THIS IS S9 L9VELY I AM THRILLED I DID N9T PAY ATTENTI9N WHEN RUFI9H SMASHED THAT WEAP9N 9VER MY HEAD.

RUFIOH: -cups hands around his mouth and hollers at Kankri.- HEY KANKR1!!!!!!!!!! BRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RUFIOH: DO YOU WANT TO BE MEUL1N'S NEW BFFS1E??? YOU'D DO A HELL OF A LOT BETTER A JOB THAN ME! 1 COULDN'T EVEN ST1CK AROUND TO SEE 1T THROUGH THE END! D1D YOU KNOW YOU'RE JUST A BETTER PERSON THAN ME???

RUFIOH: YOU SHOULD TEACH ME TO BE MORE L1KE YOU! }8D

KANKRI: -suddenly owl turns, craning his neck too fast to be comfortable.- I W9ULD L9VE T9 6E HER NEW 6EST FRIEND, 9H AND RUFI9H IF Y9U W9ULD LIKE LESS9NS 9N H9W N9T T9 ALIENATE PE9PLE FR9M Y9UR LIFE DUE T9 Y9UR NATURAL 9FF PUTTING NATURE I CAN CERTAINLY D9 MY 6EST T9 ASSIST Y9U!!

JOHN: HAHA! KANKRI IS TERRIBLE AT INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS TOO. THAT'S WHY YOU GUYS SHOULD BE FRIENDS. YOU HAVE A LOT IN COMMON.

KANKRI: H9WEVER I AM ALS9 DESPISED 6Y ALM9ST EVERY9NE I KN9W S9 I CAN 9NLY H9PE I CAN S9ME H9W TEACH Y9U T9 6E 6ETTER THEN ME!

KANKRI: HAHA!

RUFIOH: -hands on his hips and laughs heartily- HAHAHAHA, 1 TH1NK JOHN 1S R1GHT! THERE'S JUST SOME TH1NGS 1 SHOULD HAVE BEEN UPFRONT AND FREE TO ADM1T! 1'M GLAD 1 DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT ANYMORE!

KANKRI: THAT IS S9 TRUE!! RUFI9H PLEASE D9 N9T EVER W9RRY AGAIN A69UT V9ICING Y9UR SH9RT C9MINGS!

JOHN: I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. I SUPRESS LITERALLY ALL MY EMOTIONS ALL THE TIME UNTIL THEY BURST FORTH IN A SPASMODIC GEYSER OF AGRESSION AND ANGST!

KANKRI: ITS TRUE HE D9ES THIS ALL THE TIME!

KANKRI: -Wraps his arm around John's shoulders.-

JOHN: I'M GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO BE INSECURE ANYMORE ABOUT WHETHER MY FRIENDS STILL CARE ABOUT ME AND WANT ME AROUND. I'VE REALIZED THAT I AM AWESOME AND FLAWLESS. WHO WOULDN'T WANT ME AROUND?

KANKRI: I CERTAINLY WANT Y9U AR9UND J9HN!

KANKRI: Y9U ARE MY FAV9RITE PERS9N AND DESERVE T9 6E THE FLAWLESS C9NFIDENT PERS9N Y9U ARE!

KANKRI: REALLY THANK G99DNESS Y9U AND I F9UND EACH 9THER WHEN WE DID 9R I MIGHT HAVE ACTUALLY L9ST THE ENTIRETY 9F MY SANITY AFTER L9SING MY PLANET, MY H9ME, MY DIGNITY, AND ALM9ST THE ENTIRETY 9F MY WILL T9 C9NTINUE EXISTING! KANKRI: EVEN IF ALL THAT STILL MATTERED ANYM9RE IM JUST S9 GLAD I HAVE Y9U REGARDLESS T9 PICK UP THE PREVI9USLY DEFECTIVE PIECES 9F MY 6EING. -paps his face.-

MEULIN: -What's worse than what he's saying is the fact that she's quiet amongst the leaves and sharp twigs that she knows she's going to tear out hair to free herself from, and she feels more trapped here than she had in the infirmary.-

MEULIN: -And yet, they all just keep going. She isn't sure if it's the pain behind their words or her own emotions that sting more, but, eventually it's too much, and she squirms out of the bushes, scraping and tugging and scratching herself up, wet with snow and flushed with green.-

MEULIN: YOU... ARE ALL... MEULIN:

WRONG!!!!!!!!

MEULIN: THIS ISN'T HOW TO HELP YOURSELVES OR EACH OTHER... OR ME.

MEULIN: THIS ISN'T HOW F33LINGS WORK.

MEULIN: THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU WOULD WANT.

MEULIN: PLEASE... STOP.

MEULIN: I DON'T WANT TO S33 MY FRIENDS HURT ANYMORE.

KANKRI: MEULIN THERE Y9U ARE!!

KANKRI: ARE Y9U READY T9 6E 6EST FRIENDS??

RUFIOH: -This should be breaking his heart but it just makes him giggle. Throwing his hand out at Meulin like OH YOU.- WHO'S HURT?? NOT ME!!! 1 FEEL H1GH AS THE SKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! -zooms up, doing a loop de loop.-

KANKRI: -applauds Rufioh's trick.-

MEULIN: YOU DON'T S33 IT, BUT I DO.

MEULIN: I ALWAYS DO.

MEULIN: IT DOESN'T JUST GO AWAY... EVEN WITH MAGIC.

MEULIN: AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!!

MEULIN: THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH F33LING BAD!!!!

KANKRI: -Wiggles out of John's arms to slide over to her, hands tucked behind him.-

KANKRI: MEULIN Y9U S9UND RATHER D9WN AND 9UT! IT PAINS ME T9 SEE ANY9NE THIS WAY. -Yet his smile is still uncomfortably wide.-

RUFIOH: LOL! YOU SAY THAT BUT HEY!!!! 1SN'T FEEL1NG BAD WHAT LEAD US TO HURT PEEPS, MEU????? WHAT 1F WE STOPPED DO1NG THAT AND JUST FELT GREAT ALL THE T1ME! THAT WOULD BE FUCKIN' BANG1N'! -kick dances in the air-

JOHN: -HE WAS SO WRAPPED UP IN KANKRI'S DECLARATION OF LOVE, THAT HE STARTED SINGING "HOW CAN I LIVE WITHOUT YOU" AND FLIPPING CONTINUOUSLY IN THE AIR.-

KANKRI: CAN I 9FFER Y9U AN 9P9RTUNITY T9 FEEL IMMENSELY 6ETTER? I PR9MISE IT D9ES N9T HURT AND Y9U WILL 6E QUITE ALIVE AND FINE AFTER!

KANKRI: I SPEAK FR9M EXPERIENCE!

ROSE: (You did not concur with that point several minutes ago.)

JOHN: IF I HAD TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU. WHAT KIND OF LIFE WOULD THAT BE.

KANKRI: -Somehow is able to whisper in roses ear from where he is.- (9PINI9NS CAN CHANGE MY DEAR.)

JOHN: I NEED YOU IN MY ARMS! NEED YOU TO HOLD!

MEULIN: -she considers backing away... but she doesn't. she stands there and meets Kankri's gaze, balling up her fists.-

MEULIN: I DON'T WANT TO F33L BETTER.

JOEY: =With no sudden movements (and nearly laying down on the floro so no one can see her), she carefully pulls her curtains closed=

ROSE: -FLINCHES.-

KANKRI: -Keeps smiling at her.-

KANKRI: 9H 6UT I THINK THAT Y9U D9! EVEN JUST F9R A LITTLE WHILE. IT REALLY IS N9T ANY DIFFERENT FR9M Y9UR RECREATI9NAL ACTIVITIES IN FACT IF ANYTHING IT IS S9 MUCH 6ETTER!

KANKRI: WITH 9NE YES Y9U WILL FEEL 9N CL9UD NINE AND N9THING WITH 6E WR9NG ANYM9RE! ITS REALLY JUST WHAT EVERY 9NE 9F US NEEDS RIGHT N9W WHILE WE ARE TRAPPED HERE!

JOHN: YOU'RE MY WORLD, MY HEART MY SOUL. IF YOU EVER LEAVE!!!

KANKRI: -Moves his hand from behind his back to offer her a small candy heart that says "#Happy!! <3"-

KANKRI: -It all somehow fits on there.-

RUFIOH: -floating in the air, chinhandsing with a happy smile on his face.- DAAAAAMN, KANKR1'S GOT GAME!!! HAHAHA!

MEULIN: -stares at Kankri, and then down at the candy heart. She stares at it for a long moment, her mouth a serious frown, and then glances back up at him.-

MEULIN: ...

MEULIN: -swipes out her hand and SNATCHES the candy heart.-

KANKRI: -HE CERTAINLY DOES.-

KANKRI: 8D

RUFIOH: }8D

KANKRI: Y9U CERTAINLY WILL N9T REGRET THIS MEULIN!

JOHN: NOW THAT I MENTION IT, ISN'T IT FUCKED UP THAT FEFERI'S BEEN DEAD FOR ALMOST AN ENTIRE YEAR AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN GROWN THE BALLS TO HOLD ANY KIND OF MEMORIAL OR FUNERAL SERVICES? HONESTLY I'VE BEEN AFRAID TO BRING IT UP BECAUSE I'M JUST WAITING FOR HER TO COME BACK! THIS WHOLE TIME!!! I STILL BELIEVE WE'RE GOING TO RAISE OUR CHILDREN TOGETHER AND GET MARRIED. BUT I CAN SEE HOW SAD EVERYONE'S FACE GETS WHEN I MENTION HER RETURNING. I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY THINK THOUGH!!! HAHAHAHAHHA!!! I DON'T GIVE A CRAP!!!

KANKRI: HEEHEE!

RUFIOH: LOL LOL! WOAH, JOHN!!!! THAT'S SOME HEAVY STUFF!!!! 1T'S SO GREAT TO CLEAR THE A1R AROUND A1N'T 1T????????

JOHN: IT'S SO!!! LIBERATING!!!

KANKRI: THATS IT J9HN!! D9NT EVER GIVE UP Y9UR H9PES EVEN IF IT IS VERY UNLIKELY THAT SHE WILL!! I THINK ITS S9 ADMIRA6LE THAT N9 MATTER WHAT Y9U STILL C9NCIEVE THE N9TI9N THAT SHE WILL C9ME 6ACK T9 LIFE!

KANKRI: AWE INSPIRING TRULY!

JOHN: THANKS BUDDY! I THINK SO TOO!!!

RUFIOH: YOU'RE AWE 1NSP1R1NG, BRO! 1F YOU CAN NAB ONE CHO1CE MO1RA1L L1KE JOHN, ANYBODY CAN!!!!

KANKRI: 9H RUFI9H Y9U ARE T99 MUCH!

RUFIOH: HELL YEAH, 1 KNOW! };D

MEULIN: -She practically crushes it in her grip, but it's all too quick. She changes color, and now she's flooding with cotton candy pink, red, and green.-

ROSE: Oh.

KANKRI: I THINK S9ME DAY Y9U T99 WILL FIND AN9THER EVEN IF Y9UR LAST 9NE LEFT Y9U! LET N9THING STAND IN Y9UR WAY!

KANKRI: -👀 meulin-

KANKRI: -welcome to the party!-

ROSE: -She draws in a deep breath, and just sits in the snow.-

KANKRI: -Throws his arm around her.-

RUFIOH: MEU MEUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RUFIOH: LOL, DUDE! HE NEVER LEFT ME! HE WENT BACK TO BEFORUS AND BLEW THE FUCK UP! 1SN'T TH1S WHY WE FOUGHT 1N THE F1RST PLACE?

MEULIN: -she winces, tail puffed out, still standing there... and then blinks open her eyes.-

RUFIOH: 1 SURE AS SH1T D1DN'T WANT TO L1VE ANYMORE AFTER THAT! WOW!!!!!!! JOHN! D1D YOU KNOW YOU SAVED MY GODDAMN L1FE??? YOU'RE A HERO!

JOHN: -POPS NEXT TO ROSE- YOU DON'T WANT TO JOIN IN THE FUN, ROSE? I KNOW YOU'RE SAD AND TIRED. I KNOW YOU FEEL HELPLESS SOMETIMES. MAYBE THIS COULD RELIEVE SOME OF THE PRESSURE!!! I'D JUST BE OVER THE MOON IF I COULD HELP YOU.

MEULIN: ....

KANKRI: 9H I HAD N9 IDEA THEY WERE DEAD! I JUST REMEMBER 6EING CREAPED 9UT 6Y H9W IT FELT LIKE Y9U MIGHT HAVE 6EEN TRYING T9 USE ME AS A SUBSTITUTE F9R THEM, HAHAH!

MEULIN: -chucks off her sunglasses.- NO!!!!!!!!!!!

KANKRI: -owl turns to meulin.-

KANKRI: -8000-

KANKRI: N9???

RUFIOH: YEP!!!!!!!! HE SURE WENT BACK TO BEFORUS TO D1E! AND 1 SHOULD HAVE GONE W1TH H1M!!! THAT'S HOW YOU MADE ME FEEL, DUDE! 1T WAS SO MESSED UP! NO WONDER 1 HATED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

KANKRI: DID Y9U N9T LIKE Y9UR GLASSES?

MEULIN: NO!!!!!!

ROSE: -She looks like she's about to say something, face... barely certain of what to make of this, before the shout.-

MEULIN: THIS IS ME.

MEULIN: THIS IS HOW I'M GOING TO BE.

KANKRI: ALS9 RUFI9H I AM S9 GLAD Y9U ARE TELLING ME THIS N9W, THAT MAKES A L9T M9RE SENSE!

RUFIOH: -does more dances in the air. ^w^ -

JOHN: WOW. THE GIRL IS PERSISTENT! GIV EIT UP FOR MEULIN!!!! -CLAPCLAPCLAP-

KANKRI: HM?? WHAT IS Y9U MEULIN? D9 Y9U FEEL 6ETTER N9W?

KANKRI: H9W A69UT N9W?

MEULIN: I F33L. LIKE I'M SUPPAWSED TO F33L. BECLAWS I'M ME!

ROSE: -She rises, slowly, stepping over towards Meulin.- ROSE: What just happened here...?

KANKRI: -smiles at Rose and keeps his arm around Meulin.-

KANKRI: -Grins with his pointy teeths.-

MEULIN: I DID WHAT YOU WANTED. BUT IT DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING!!

JUDE: -takes notes outloud while he's recording this mess- this candy may or may not only effect men... or they're just weak willed...

MEULIN: -shrugs off Kankri's arm and reaches out a hand to Rose-

KANKRI: IT D9ESNT?? -Doof is shrugged.-

RUFIOH: -👀 the voice on the wind. Grins in Jude's direction.-

KANKRI: 9H DEAR!! -Slides over closer to Rufioh even if he is in the sky.-

ROSE: -GRABS THE HAND.-

JUDE; -HE'S INSIDE THE HOUSE DON'T EVEN TRY IT.-

ROSE: I am not sure why or how but I consider this a miracle. ROSE: Thank you.

KANKRI: RUFI9H I D9NT THINK MEULIN IS ENJ9YING HERSELF ALL THAT MUCH..

JOHN: -HE'S STILL APPLAUDING- LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE GIRLS!!!

KANKRI: WILL Y9U 6E HAPPY WITH ME INSTEAD?

MEULIN: -hups her up and fucking... FLOATS INTO THE AIR??? YOU KNOW WHAT FINE SHE CAN DO THAT NOW.-

MEULIN: -THIS IS INCREDIBLY STRANGE BUT SO IS EVERYTHING-

RUFIOH: WHOOP WHOOP! -loops arms with Kankri, beaming.- THAT'S COOL, DUDE!!! NOT EVERYONE 1S GO1NG TO FEEL THE SAME AS YOU. THAT'S WHY WE SHOULD ST1CK TOGETHER!!!

RUFIOH: BTW, WHO'S THE HOT W1NDOW PEEPER???? 1 KNOW FOR SURE 1'VE NEVER SEE H1M BEFORE!

ROSE: -She is HAULED LIKE PRINCESS PEACH.-

ROSE: That was... very well spoken, you know.

JOHN: THAT'S MY COUSIN. JUDEY JUDEY JUDEY JUDEEHHHHH.

JOHN: I MEAN I'M SAYING COUSIN BUT HE MIGHT BE MY UNCLE OR FATHER OR SOMETHING.

KANKRI: H9T WIND9W PEEPER Y9U SAY??? -Make those hand telescopes and looks around until some how he makes dead eye contact with Jude even this far away.-

JOHN: I DON'T HAVE ANY CLUE HOW MY FAMILY WORKS AT ALL!!!

RUFIOH: HE'S HOT, DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A HOT DAD!!!! HAHAHAHA!

JUDE: -clears throat, speaking up- half brother... technically...

JOHN: -YELLS BACK- THANKS JUDE!!!!

JUDE: wait, don't-- JUDE: don't look at me

KANKRI: 9H YES HIS FACIAL SYMMETRY IS RATHER PLEASING T9 L99K AT.

JUDE: -DIVES AWAY FROM THE WINDOW-

JOEY: =slapping/pulling on Jude's pant leg trying to get him to duck down=

KANKRI: J9HN Y9U HAVE EXCELLENT GENES.

JOHN: YEAH, I KNOW.

KANKRI: -Links arms with Rufioh, look at them being best buddies.-

JOHN: -SPINS IN THE AIR AND KISSES HIS OWN BICEPS-

KANKRI: J9HN Y9U ARE S9 6EAUTIFUL.

RUFIOH: YOUR FACIAL SYMMETRY HAS ALWAYS BEEN GOOD TO LOOK AT, KANKS. -arms over Kankri's shoulder now.- }BD

JOHN: HE HAS A REALLY CUTE BUTT TOO!!! -SHOUTING-

KANKRI: S9 ARE Y9U RUFI9H REALLY QUITE STUNN-

KANKRI: 9H THANK Y9U!!

KANKRI: -Then his arm is going around Rufiohs waist.-

RUFIOH: THANKS, BRO!!! 1 ALWAYS FELT L1KE MY GOOD LOOKS GAVE ME MORE TROUBLE THAN 1T WAS WORTH BUT HELL!!!! 1F 1T MEANS MY FR1ENDS ST1CK AROUND FOR EVEN A L1TTLE WH1LE, 1'LL SMOOCH ALL OF THEM!

JOHN: I ALSO REALLY LIKED YOUR COOL COSPLAYS!!! REMEMBER WHEN YOU MADE ME THAT GHOST BUSTERS OUTFIT?

JOHN: THAT WAS SO RAD!!!

RUFIOH: FUCK YEAH, 1 REMEMBER, JOHN!!! THAT WAS FUN AS HELL!

MEULIN: -She twitches her ears -- somehow, she feels like she can hear Rose, even without hearing. Maybe she's reading her lips. It doesn't have to make sense, but she's trying to ignore how her eyes are stinging as she glides over the rooftops, trying to put the chaos of her yelling friends behind her.-

MEULIN: ... I'M SORRY. -sniffs and smiles at Rose, just a little.- FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO HELP.

MEULIN: I GUESS IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE... I'M MORE SCARED OF NOT BEING ME.

KANKRI: Y9U MADE THAT F9R HIM?? THAT IS S9 GENER9US 9F Y9U RUFI9H!

JOEY: (what the actual heck is going on out there?) =peeks under the curtain a little=

KANKRI: ALS9 I SHALL A6S9LUTELY STAY 6Y Y9UR SIDE N9W THAT Y9U ARE HERE WITH US AGAIN, F9R ANY PRICE!

JUDE: -ALIENS hand gesture- cherub magic...

RUFIOH: 1 TOTALLY L1KED JOHN BEFORE YOU D1D, HAHAHAHA. F1GHT ME BRO!

JOHN: NOW, NOW MY GOOD BROS. THERE'S ENOUGH JOHN TO GO AROUND.

ROSE: -She smiles a little bit, sadly.-

ROSE: I...

ROSE: Yes, I understand.

ROSE: You don't say things like that so easily. Not unless it becomes impossible to care.

ROSE: I think I prefer this.

ROSE: I don't believe I've ever been rescued quite so gallantly before.

ROSE: In defiance of all known physics.

KANKRI: WHAT?? I SHALL N9T FIGHT Y9U 6UT RUFI9H TH9SE S9UND LIKE CHALLENGE W9RDS!

RUFIOH: AND WE BOTH KNOW YOU L1KE CHALLENGES, KANKS. };D

RUFIOH: WHY NOT TRY TH1S ONE ON FOR S1ZE???????????? -then swoops down to plant a sugar smooch to Kankri.-

JOHN: :O!!!!

JOHN: -GASP-

JOHN -THE SCANDAL-

KANKRI: -HELLO!!-

KANKRI: -Is so smoothly smooched, he leans with the swoop and places his hands on either side of Rufioh's face for this wonderful kiss. What a reunion!-

JOHN: I SUPPORT AND FULLY ENDORSE THIS WITH NO REGRETS WHATSOEVER!!!

JOHN: I JUST WANT YOU AND KANKRI (BUT ESPECIALLY KANKRI) TO BE HAPPY!!!

RUFIOH: -Thanks bro!! He's had practice, dipping Kankri back to perpetuate the SUAVE. Insert spanish guitar riffs here.-

KANKRI: -Swooning to the part.-

JOHN: -UNCAPATCHAS....HIS KEYBOARD. HE'S GOING TO GIVE THIS LOVELY MOMENT SOME THEME MUSIC. Nevermind that he's playing it without it being plugged in at all. Magic.-

KANKRI: -John you are perfect.-

MEULIN: HEHEH33. WELL... I ONLY TOOK YOU BECLAWS YOU WANTED TO GO WITH ME.

MEULIN: AT LEAST... I'M ABLE TO HELP YOU.

KANKRI: -Also takes pictures of this kiss too somehow.-

RUFIOH: -volcanos explode, dragons swoop, everyone is so jealous.- <333333333333

KANKRI: -If anyone is jealous he can smooch them too!-

JOHN: -HE'S CONTENT WITH SMACKING ON HIS KEYBOARD JOYFULLY FOR NOW. Somehow the music sounds like xylophone and a trombone.-

KANKRI: -Breaks the kiss for a moment however.- RUFI9H HAVING PREVI9USLY ENTERTAINED TH9UGHTS 9F WHAT IT W9ULD 6E LIKE T9 KISS Y9U IN THE FAR DISTANT PAST I WILL SAY IT IS RATHER SATISFYING!

ROSE: You are.

ROSE: ...

ROSE: -She frowns, suddenly.-

ROSE: I imagine it must be terrifying to lose control like that.

ROSE: But you've grown a lot stronger since we first met.

ROSE: As hard as it's been, I have seen it. I am seeing it now.

ROSE: Even if the only evidence you have is overpowering the strength of whatever bewitching candy demon presented us with that hell-sucker.

RUFIOH: -snuggling him close, the happiest bull.- HAHAHA, DUDE SAME!!! 1 THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA BE BEST FR1ENDS FOREVER UNT1L YOU PULLED THAT EX-MO1RA1L SH1T!!! BUT NOW WE'RE TALK1NG ABOUT 1T AND MACK1N 1NSTEAD OF F1GHT1NG AND 1 TH1NK TH1S 1S POSS1BLY THE BEST OUTCOME OF ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

RUFIOH: LET'S RUN OFF TOGETHER DUDE! LET'S L1VE ON AVALON AND BU1LD UP BEFORUS L1KE 1T WAS ALWAYS MEANT TO BE!

ROSE: These things happen in degrees. It tends to make them a great deal more surprising, in the end.

ROSE: ...So.

ROSE: Thank you.

JOHN: DON'T HOLD YOURSELF BACK, KANKRI! YOU DESERVE EVERY EXPERIENCE THIS UNIVERSE HAS TO OFFER!!!

JOHN: YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH!

KANKRI: -Brightens more, if thats even possible when hes in this state.- 9H THAT S9UNDS S9 W9NDERFUL!!! I W9ULD L9VE T99! I HAVE STR9NGLY C9NSIDERED CHANGING 9CCUPATI9NS SINCE I AM A FAILURE AT THE 9NLY THING I TH9UGHT I MIGHT 6E G99D AT, THERAPY! PERHAPS I C9ULD 6E A C9NSTRUCTI9N W9RKER! I C9ULD 6UILD A R99F!!

KANKRI: 9H 6UT J9HN SH9ULD C9ME T99! AND GAMZEE I W9ULD N9T WANT T9 LEAVE EITHER 6EHIND, THEY ARE QUITE FRANKLY TW9 9F THE M9ST IMP9RTANT PE9PLE IN MY LIFE.

MEULIN: -She doesn't know what to say anymore, and at this rate, her throat feels too tight even if she wanted to. Her eyes are blurring quickly with -- what is that, lime green?? That's not normal, and she drifts down to a snow-covered rooftop in the more dimly lit areas of town, just sort of caving down to sit with Rose when she starts to cry.-

KANKRI: AND THEY DESERVE S9 MUCH 6ETTER THEN THEY ARE DEALING WITH N9W!

ROSE: -She rests a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.-

JOHN: HELL YEAH! FUCK THIS WAR! I'M TIRED OF PRETENDING TO BE STRONG WHILE WATCHING MY FRIENDS CONTINOUSLY SUFFER AND DIE.

ROSE: -Silence. She ignores how bright and vibrant her colors are, right now. Or the absurdity down below-- how hard it all is to process. That feeling of helplessness when faced with a barrage of everything wrong with her friends-- her family-- and the hellish situation they've lived with for so long.-

RUFIOH: -looks both astonished and delighted to hear Kankri's suggestion. Wafting off more sparkling sugar.- THAT'S THE BEST FUCK1NG 1DEA 1 HAVE EVER HEARD OF 1N MY L1FE!!!!!!!!!! RUFIOH: LET THE FOUR OF US L1VE TOGETHER, BRO! YOU, ME, JOHN, AND THE LOVE OF MY FUCK1NG L1FE!!!!!!!!!!

ROSE: -Better to just... be herself. She cozies up against Meulin and wraps an arm around her fully.-

KANKRI: YES I AGREE FUCK THIS WAR! -Snuggles Rufioh, this is so great.-

KANKRI: WE ARE ALL S9 6RILLIANT THIS IS PERFECT!

RUFIOH: -smooches all on Kankri's face.- YOU'RE PERFECT, DUDE! 1 DON'T WANT ANYBODY ELSE TO TELL YOU YOU'RE NOT!

KANKRI: -Laughs loudly as he is so smooched.- LIKEWISE RUFI9H LIKEWISE! I MAY HAVE SAID TERRI6LE THINGS A69UT Y9U T9 9THER PE9PLE 6EHIND Y9UR 6ACK 6UT FR9M N9W 9N I WILL DEFEND Y9UR NAME AND THE G99DNESS 6EHIND IT WITH MY DYING 6REATH!

JOHN: AWW YES!! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO LIVE WITH THREE OTHER DUDES ON A FARM IN BUMFUCK NOWHERE. I'LL BE A PEDIATRICIAN AND KIDS WILL NEVER GET SICK UNDRE MY WATCH. HELL, MAYBE I'LL RETIRE FROM DOCTORING AND JUST BE A KINDERGARTEN TEACHER.

JOHN: AND RULEUS CAN GROW UP WITHOUT ME HAVING TO WORRY THAT HE'LL BE SHOT OUT OF THE SKY.

RUFIOH: -spins with Kankri in his arms.- YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. 1T CAN ONLY GET BETTER FROM HERE, DOGG!!! YOU AND ME VERSUS THE WORLD! }8D

MEULIN: -A part of her still wants to feel embarrassed at knowing how hard she's crying already, but then, she can't. She doesn't want to. And the heavy warmth of Rose's arm around her confirms that this is right.-

MEULIN: -She leans into Rose, and she lets herself feel the emotions she's been carrying. At last, she feels sure this is the way to heal.-

KANKRI: -They spin!! And its Rufioh's turn to get so many face kisses! Hes feeling so affectionate and its so W9NDERFUL to have Rufioh back and the thought of rebuilding beforus is great too.- TRULY Y9U ARE S9 RIGHT! RUFI9H NEVER LEAVE MY SIDE AGAIN!

JOHN: HAVE A GOOD TIME YOU CRAZY KIDS! I HAVE SOME BUSINESS TO TAKE CARE OF!!!

JOHN: BUT I'LL BE BACK!!!

JOHN: *NYOOM. POP!!!-

JOHN: -HE POPPED OUT OF EXISTENCE AGAIN.-

RUFIOH: BYE JOHN! HAVE FUN! }8D

KANKRI: !!

KANKRI: G99D6YE J9HN, I L9VE Y9U 6E SAFE!!! <><> -Who knows how he emotes those diamonds.-

JOHN: -THE LEFT OVER BREEZE TENDERLY RUFFLES KANKRI'S HAIR.-

KANKRI: -('8B-

#tenebrousThorns #circuitousgrievance #aerugotourBillon #ardentcupid #effluentBalatron #gyratingEonian #euphobicGeotech

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