#euphobicGeotech

[gyratingeonian]

JANE: -Guess who's in the kitchen again? It's this gal. She's been occupying much of her time this way; it's largely to burn off anxious energy in waiting for the fated crew to arrive, but also because she just can't stand boring meals day after day.-

JANE: -She isn't baking right now, surprisingly. She's slowly cooking a nice pot roast for dinner, ingredients fresh from one of her many pieces of portable Crocker tech. Her apron reads "Hot Daddy"; an artifact salvaged from somewhere in the pantry.-

JOEY: =She'd been lying upstairs, staring at the ceiling for hours. It was hard being able to sleep soundly without the threat of being discovered for her human qualities, and at times it was hard to believe she had a family again. Mostly everyone all together and all in one place, too. She'd heard some quiet rummaging in the kitchen below until the vapors rose and holy shit, whatever it was smelled delicious. She's sneaking down the stairs like a kid on Christmas Eve, carefully poking her head around the corner.=

JANE: -She doesn't notice Joey immediately; while the food cooks, she's leafing through a business book she found on a shelf and laid out on the counter before closing it back with a sigh. There's not much point in studying business when the business in question is currently being run by an evil alien sea queen, is there?-

JANE: -She scans the room, and then double takes at a pair of eyes around the doorway.- Oh!

JANE: Good... morning? Not really, but I haven't made any breakfast yet. Sorry. I wasn't sure if anyone was up yet.

JOEY: =She finally came out of hiding and stepped the rest of the way down the stairs, smiling in greeting.=

JOEY: nah its fine im not usually up around this time anyway

JOEY: the jet lags been awful =joke=

JANE: The mysterious interdimensional portal-lag, you mean. Hoo. -It's not that funny, but she's trying to make the most of it.- I understand completely.

JANE: Do you like eggs and bacon?

JOEY: =She perked at this=

JOEY: you mean to say

JOEY: you guys actually have that here?

JOEY: =eyes the refrigerator= 8o

JANE: Well... Sort of.

JANE: I conveniently happen to have a very good storage unit on my person.

JANE: -She's already pulling out pans- How do you like your eggs?

JOEY: =when was the last time she had anything that wasn't grubloaf lathered in grubsauce?= JOEY: oh jane you dont have to go through all that trouble—

JOEY: =fusses.=

JOEY: ....

JOEY: sunny side up

JOEY: =she's WEAK=

JANE: -snrrrk- Me, too.

JANE: Don't worry. This is better than sitting around, stewing in potential doom scenarios. -she produces a package of bacon and cuts it open while the pan heats up on the stove-

JANE: And I could use some breakfast, too...

JANE: Shucks. All I've eaten this morning is a bite of leftover cheesecake.

JOEY: that wont do at all! heres to proper sustenance hahaha

JOEY: =she approacheth= it is only right of me to ask if you need help with any of this

JANE: Hmm...

JANE: Actually, I do need help with something. -glances over at her- I've been pretty curious about all this... estranged family business.

JANE: I just never felt like there was a good time to corral you all and ask about it. Actually, the image itself seems pretty rude.

JOEY: oh

JOEY: well... =she leaned back against one of the counters and sighed, laughing a little helplessly as she dragged a hand down one cheek=

JOEY: where to even start?

JANE: Perhaps the beginning?

JANE: As a genuine suggestion, not a sassy remark.

JOEY: =she glanced up at her and soft laughter replaced her expectant expression.=

JOEY: yeah thats always a good place

JOEY: we were little then

JOEY: dad was an explorer so he was gone often

JOEY: our aunt came to stay with us - mom jude tess and me - she had a baby with her

JOEY: bout a year later some people at her work did something that scared her off =she shrugged= and so she left

JOEY: i guess she didnt want us getting caught up in it but it happened anyway =Joey smiled, shaking her head= from that point on we got really good at camping

TESSERACT: =Soft boof as he comes wagging his entire body down the stairs. He smells FOOD.=

JANE: ... -She can sort of guess what that means, but...- Oh hi, doggy. -casually braces herself against a counter-

JANE: No bacon for you yet!

JANE: Um-- So you-- lost your home? Because of... a bad business venture?

JOEY: yeah—

TESSERACT: boof! =Whines up at jane=

JOEY: :O down tess

JOEY: you know better that that

TESSERACT: =WHINES again but lays his head down right on Jane's foot. licks her leg and looks up with those big puppy eyes=

JOEY: we couldnt really go back to it for a while but soon enough they left us alone and we got to go back

JOEY: guess they figured what could a woman her kids and their dog do? not much of a threat, you know

JANE: A... threat?

JANE: This sounds a little more dastardly than I was imagining.

JANE: Was it... you know... them?

JOEY: =she nods=

JOEY: the same people that have taken over skaianet

JOEY: it was our dad and aunts lifes work

JOEY: and they took it out from under them so easily

JOEY: =she ran her hand on the edge of the counter, just feeling the texture there=

JOEY: one day dad never came home

JOEY: i thought for sure because of his connections theyd gotten to him somehow

JOEY: not very long after that mom never came home either(edited)

JUDE: -at some point during the conversation, jude had come up from the basement, but when he heard the topic of discussion, he wound up lingering in the hall just outside the kitchen. hearing their skeletons get dragged out made him anxious, but it was important that jane knew exactly what they were dealing with -- what his whole family had always been dealing with. he runs his hand along the wall, awkwardly stuck in place.-

JOEY: but we claire-leys don't know when to keep our heads down and mouths shut(edited)

JOEY: jude tess and i went off for some daring do and picked up where dad and aunt jo left off

JOEY: it was better for me to think they were dead cause nothing can hurt you when you expect the worst, right? but jude flat out refused to believe that =She shook her head= he was so much stronger than me - bouncy little optimist

JANE: -Jane can't help laughing a little at that description, despite the story itself.- Well... you can sure tell you're related.

JANE: And... if you don't mind me saying so, I'm sure you gave him plenty of push he might not have had alone. -At least, when she met him, he hadn't really been outside in years.- I think it all works out.

JANE: But how did you end up... Elsewhere?(edited)

JOEY: we both had that effect on each other =she glanced down at the counter again= JOEY: it was a whole stack of things but aunt jos research to put it simply JOEY: its what they were after all those years

JOEY: or one of the things at least

JOEY: that research led us to the portal downstairs which in turn led to skaianet finding out jude and i werent so harmless after all

JOEY: =she shrugged her shoulders, but it was more like brushing off the uncomfortable feeling of that distant memory than to indicate something like indifference=

JOEY: they wanted what we knew and if it hadnt been for jude they would have gotten what they wanted(edited)

JANE: ... I have a feeling this tale is nearing its bitter conclusion. -She watches Joey, brows knitting with some concern at the way she seems more uncomfortable the further this story goes.-

JANE: You don't have to tell me all this if you don't want to. My curiosity isn't worth digging up too many bad feelings.(edited)

JUDE: -with an exhale, he finally moves to join them in the kitchen, eyes down cast but he looks up after he gets his hands on a cookie.- ...

JUDE: hello

JUDE: sorry for interrupting...

JUDE: and also for

JUDE: eavesdropping

JANE: !

JANE: Jude.

JANE: I didn't hear you creeping up.

JANE: ... I didn't mean that the way it sounds.

JOEY: =Her back was to the stairs and she turned, a smile lifting as she saw it was her brother. Wow. She has to get used to them being in the same place again.= hey...

JOEY: =she's relieved he was here. The events leading up to everything were easy to say, and of course on Alternia she changed up a few things to suit her trollsona's history. But she'd never gone so far to explain the separation itself other than that it happened. The fear of never seeing her brother again didn't hang heavy over her head and the past didn't hurt quite so much=

JUDE: -catching a glimpse of her smile, he can't help smiling too.- it's alright

JUDE: creeping is probably technically a good way to describe my... general movement

JANE: Well... as long as we're all agreed. :B

JANE: -drapes a paper towel over a plate and starts piling the cooked bacon on it-

JUDE: heh... -cookies and bacon... part of a balanced breakfast. he didn't think this through.-

JUDE: -also sweats because he disrupted the conversation, which makes it his responsibility to initiate it again.- ...

JUDE: so...

JUDE: bacon

JOEY: =she's staring at Jude, and it's obvious she's staring. Her smile is growing by the moment.=

JOEY: yes! and eggs!

JANE: And cookies, apparently. -gives Jude a GAZE.-

JANE: How do you like your eggs?

JUDE: -HOW YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS... FRIED OR FERTILIZED...-

JUDE: sunny side up

JUDE: to match my sunny outlook on life

JOEY: =she just...smiles at him. How can she not?=

JOEY: good answer.

JANE: -SNORTS-

JANE: I'm glad we are all still in agreement, despite serious flaws in your argument. -cracks another egg in the pan-

JANE: How are things going down there?

JUDE: well... none of my other long lost relatives have jumped out so

JUDE: uneventful, mostly

JUDE: which is fine I guess

JUDE: but I'm still anxious for the UU to get here

JUDE: I feel like they should be here by now

JUDE: what if something happened? maybe alternians attacked their ship and their technicians hacked into all their accounts, pouring over records of everyone's speech patterns to perfectly replicate them when they talk to us

JUDE: or maybe... it was never really them to begin with

JUDE: and they knew we were going to contact them

JUDE: and they've lured us here to back us into a corner and now they're waiting for the perfect moment to extract the portal and do away with us once and for all

JOEY: ...

JOEY: jude

JOEY: you know ive always trusted your gut

JOEY: even though those are a whole lot of maybes, maybe we should take precaution

JOEY: is there an easy way of storing the portal if we have to make a quick getaway?

JOEY: plus, if this place is as heavily fortified as it looks, shouldnt there be another way to exit the building than the front and back doors?

JANE: -She swears she's going to find a camera somewhere to stare in, just watch her.-

JANE: Maybe Jamison would have some ideas? Perhaps a rational suggestion or two.

JUDE: I've been able to store it pretty efficiently but

JUDE: maybe I should dismantle it for now

JUDE: if they do show up we can study it with them

JUDE: ... I've mapped out all the escape routes too

JUDE: I mean I found some of James' blueprints of the house but I

JUDE: also physically went around the house looking for exits...

JUDE: but more eyes help... my dad is really good at finding weaknesses in designs so yeah thanks for the suggestion jane

JOEY: theres no harm in taking precautions

JOEY: should we practice drills?

JANE: -SIGHS-

JANE: -slides eggs onto plate-

JOEY: hehehe you never know, jane!

JANE: Well, let's wait until after breakfast for the main course of hubbub. :B

JOEY: good plan!

JOEY: one should never act on an empty stomach :)

[gulescamisade]

New York:  Day 17, Trickster Party

RUFIOH: -even being indoors was making him restless. Rufioh emerges from the safety of the hotel rooms, breathing out. Interestingly, the cold isn't biting at his skin but then... even while he was living on Avalon, it wasn't. Just an interesting thing as he stuffs his hands into his pockets. Trudging thru the snow.-

KANKRI: -It would seem Rufioh wasnt the only one feeling antsy, however after all that has been happening Kankri feels it is a reasonable uncomfortable sensation. He had even for the time being stopped checking the message board, if only to save himself from worrying about things he did not really have any control of right now.-

KANKRI: -He was actually returning from a brief walk when he saw Rufioh exit out of the hotel and he has to do a double take because didnt Rufioh drop off the face of the uu and go to be a farmer or something??-

[The town seems to have an unusual kind of energy today. Some kind of... sweet scent rising in the air. No one seems to be outdoors, marching around brandishing weapons, but all of the buildings are lit up with lights. ESPECIALLY the candy shop. It's been closed ever since they got into town, sure, but now it's practically lit up like a christmas tree-- BRIGHT SHOWLIGHTS showcasing dozens of kinds of candies. CHOCOLATES AND JAWBREAKERS AND SKITTLES AND EVERYTHING UNDER THE RAINBOW.]

ROSE: -She's standing just outside it, looking in through the window with her arms folded. OBVIOUSLY CURIOUS-

KANKRI: -Bright lights AND rufioh?? This is getting weird fast.-

RUFIOH: -No... that's not... well. It's not like Ruf kept in contact with Kankri of all people. It's easy for him to catch sight of him and fix him with a shrewd look. For some reason he hadn't made the connection that Kankri would be here too.-

RUFIOH: ...

RUFIOH: -Before he can bother trying to shoot a greeting to him, he is immediately distracted by the bright lights of the shop. And Rose standing by the shop. With an nimble flap of his wings, he lands next to her.- uh. hey, rose.

RUFIOH: long t1me, no see.

KANKRI: -WOW. Okay well hes going to go stand on the other side of Rose, and not because he's being petty but because yeah this is actually strange and hes curious too.- This st9re has n9t 9nce 6een active 9nce since we have g9tten here...right?

RUFIOH: -kind of mesmerizing... he gazes.-

JOHN: huh. they sure are feeling festive.

RUFIOH: ............ -where the fuck did John come from.-

ROSE: No.

JOHN: -PHASED INTO EXISTENCE BEHINDT HEM. jk. or not???-

RUFIOH: -Don't...-

KANKRI: -From the creation of joy in the universe thats where.-

JOHN: -aww........-

KANKRI: Then this is a little 6it strange.

KANKRI: Als9 hell9 J9hn.... And Rufi9h. -Still inspecting the store front.-

ROSE: Perhaps.

ROSE: ...

RUFIOH: hey. -He can be petty too.-

ROSE: I don't suppose you're curious.

Because I am.

KANKRI: En9ugh t9 g9 inside?

ROSE: Yes.

ROSE: But probably not alone.

KANKRI: Hm. Frankly I am hesitent t9 d9 s9.

RUFIOH: anybody got cash cuz... 1'm out.

JOHN: i'll heroically sacrifice myelf to the cause. and i'll even be the official taste tester if there is actual candy inside. -wink-

KANKRI: Did y9u c9me t9 ask f9r m9ney?

JOHN: -snort- kankri that's rude.

JOHN: -he's laughing tho-

KANKRI: Its a genuine questi9n.

JOHN: -what a penis-

KANKRI: -But John dont worry for once he is intending to be one.-

RUFIOH: }:/ RUFIOH: can't walk 1nto a candy shop w1th no money, dogg.

ROSE: And we are in canada.

KANKRI: 9h I think y9u certainly can, y9u w9uld just n9t 6e leaving with anything.

ROSE: I have managed to find one single coin of canadian currency.

ROSE: It is called a Loonie.

ROSE: I find it bizarre and unsettling.

JOHN: can i see? -hovers-

ROSE: -Holds up the shiny coin in two fingers.-

RUFIOH: a loon1e... RUFIOH: -also swishes a horn, opting to NOT discuss this with Kankri.-

JOHN: :O -ooooooh.-

KANKRI: - BI -

ROSE: Here.

ROSE: -HANDS IT OVER TO JOHN-

ROSE: Please don't drop it.

JOHN: wouldn't dream of it! what do you take me for? -rolls it into his sleeve-

RUFIOH: buy yourself someth1ng n1ce, yo. -aww. This is cute.-

KANKRI: -Turns to peep at it with John since Rufioh wont answer his question.-

JOHN: hey, i'll share. or maybe they use the barter system.

JOHN: -come to think of it how have they even been staying here with no money...-

RUFIOH: -Ask the adults probably.-

RUFIOH: -wait, we're adults...-

JOHN: soooooo....are you guys coming or what? we're loitering.

KANKRI: -More or less.-

KANKRI: I still d9 n9t kn9w if I wh9ly trust any place 9n this planet.

KANKRI: I am s9rry if any9ne takes 9ffense t9 that.

JOHN: -sighs- nah. it's okay. i have to admit, they really let the place go.

JOHN: -just walks into the shop-

KANKRI: -John no.- KANKRI: -Hhhhh, he hesitates to go in but he doesnt want him to go in there alone.-

KANKRI: -Deep breath and hes trailing Johns heels like the pathetic worrier he is.-

RUFIOH: -This is the gayest thing he's ever seen in his life. And he's Rufioh.-

RUFIOH: -keeps hands in his pockets and waits back, just in case Rose wants to go first.-

KANKRI: -Rufioh you cannot judge.-

---

[For the most part, the "LEGAL HUNTERS" have been offering hospitality, if suspicion. Especially with their story of escaping from Flavor Town. It's meager living, sure, but they're helping, so long as the group continues to hunt for their own food and doesn't ask too many questions or attract too much attention. They're a lot more willing to part with necessities like water and a place to sleep than they are anything else, after all. ]

[IT SMELLS SWEET IN THE STORE, regardless. And it's bright! Much brighter than anywhere else in town has been. Everything's been pretty dismal and dark, what with the snow rolling in in waves, but this place is bright and lit and a practical BOMBARDMENT OF COLOR. The candy is extravagantly expensive, worth a whole ASSTON OF LOONIES PER QUARTER POUND, but there's a giant taffy pull, a soda station, ice cream... really, almost anything you could imagine in this deceptively large building, ]

[There is also a clerk. Dressed in pink and white candystripe pants with an apron and paper hat, with a grin from ear to ear. They look pretty heavy, and... human-like? They don't have horns, but most of the other details of their appearance seem ambiguous. Not like looking at a mannequin, no, but it's pretty hard to retain even the slightest memory of this person's general... anything.]

[Aside from the demeanor. The demeanor is FRIENDLY.]

CLERK: :D

KANKRI: -Well at least they seem friendly.-

RUFIOH: -Awww.... he bets Emilet would like a treat from this place. Damn. Rufioh will be careful of his horns in case he swoops by a display.-

RUFIOH: ...sup. -raises hand to the clerk.- sorry to barge 1n outta nowhere.

CLERK: Ha ha! Everyone comes from somewhere! And it's just the right day for a barge! Consider me a harbor, in fact!

JOHN: -he has so many questions, but the most pressing at the moment...is ASSTON a real unit of measurement? and if so, how many Loonies in an ASSTON?-

JOHN: hi there!

JOHN: -he's kind of salivating???-

CLERK: Hi there, son! What can I get for ya?

KANKRI: -John please.-

RUFIOH: -Yeah... this much candy proximity is really distracting.-

KANKRI: -Although this is quite this display, he will give it that.-

KANKRI: Y9u have an extensive c9llecti9n 9f c9nfecti9nary items here.

CLERK: Well, it's a candy store, don'cha know!

JOHN: uh yeah well. nice place you got here.

ROSE: Yes.

ROSE: It is certainly...

ROSE: Colorful.

JOHN: what could we get this for this? -SMOOTHLY PLACES HIS SINGLE, SOLITARY LOONIE ON THE COUNTER.-

JOHN: -nothing but confidnece, folks-

KANKRI: -So smooth..-

JOHN: -sparkles-

CLERK: -LEANS OVER AT THE COIN... peers at it. PICKS IT UP AND BITES IT.-

KANKRI: -Isnt that unsanitary.-

CLERK: Well, I can tell ya that this here is a legitimate piece of currency, yessir!

CLERK: Tell ya what, you seem like nice kids.

CLERK: -he reaches over the counter... and pulls out one of those LARGE SWIRL LOLLIPOPS.-

CLERK: -He holds it out, RIGHT TO JOHN-

JOHN: wow thanks! that's generous of you. C: -his eyes get... VERY big. he's magnetically drawn to it. IT'S SO COLORFUL.-

RUFIOH: -Bruh... Also mesmerized by the swirly colors.-

KANKRI: -Man he just has an odd feeling about this he cant shake but on the other hand thats really actually pretty generous of the clerk, maybe they are a nice guy after all.-

JOHN: well if you guys don't mind my cooties i'll totally share. -kind of distracted now. he wants this in his mouth like NOW.-

RUFIOH: -Lmao. Snrks.- clerk's got swag, 1 th1nk.

KANKRI: I w9nt say swag 6ut I d9 think that it is really nice 9f y9u, mr...?

JOHN: -he can't wait another minuite, he's gonna LICK IT.-

[it tastes...]

[OVERWHELMINGLY SWEET]

[ 🍭]

[Sweetness invades his senses. SWEETNESS IS EVERYTHING.]

JOHN: -!!!!!!! OH SHIT. this is the best thing he's ever tasted. touched heard? felt? just kinda goes quiet as all the colors in the store go all MARIO STAR POWER on him. He even hears the music.-

CLERK: Ha ha! Please leave the premesis.

JOHN: -THESE COLORS SMELL DELICIOUS!!!!-

RUFIOH: um................... -Oh my g od.-

RUFIOH: -backing away slowly before BOLTING OUT THE DOOR.-

KANKRI: ...? Wait what? -Looks back at John for a moment and then goes wall eyed.-

RUFIOH: -FUCK THIS SHIT BYE.-

KANKRI: -FUCK.-

KANKRI: -IS THIS WHAT HE THINKS IT IS.-

JOHN: -he doesn't really realize it but he has started YELLING, losing all conception of an inside voice- HAHAHA WOW!!!! CANADIANS REALLY KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT CANDY, I GOTTA SAY. THIS IS THE LEGIT FLAVORTOWN!!! HAHAHAHHAHA!!!

ROSE: -STEPS BACK-

ROSE: Oh.

ROSE: I see.

JOHN: ROSE ROSE!!! YOU GOTTA TRY THIS!!!

KANKRI: -Steps back with her but isnt fleeing like Rufioh.-

KANKRI: R9se, d9 n9t try it.

KANKRI: D9 n9t d9 it, d9 n9t g9 near it, I am n9t even certain y9u sh9uld g9 near J9hn at this p9int.

JOHN: WHAT THE HECKITY, DON'T GO NEAR ME? BUT ALL I WANT TO BE IS NEAR YOU.

JOHN: I LOVE THE TWO OF YOU SO MUCH!!! I CAN BARELY CONTAIN IT.!!!

JOHN: -phases out of existence.-

KANKRI: -HHHH NO.-

KANKRI: That.

KANKRI: That is very sweet 6ut als9 J9hn I think y9u really need t9--

KANKRI: -Where did he go..-

JOHN: - I GUESS YOU COULD SAY HE'S GONE...WITH THE WIND.-

ROSE: I'm... not...

KANKRI: -WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN.-

KANKRI: UM. -Hes turning around and scanning for any sign of his rail, this is a nightmare.-

ROSE: -She's gonna slowly back out of the store.-

RUFIOH: -Outside the shop, Rufioh is flying OUTTIE. He saw this happen last time and it was HORRIFYING. Never again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-

RUFIOH: -rapidly typing something with his comm.-

JOHN: -POPS! right in front of rufioh- NOT SO FAST, BUDDY! BATTERRRRRRR UPPPPP!!!

JOHN: -HE'S SWINGING THE LOLLIPOP RIGHT AT HIM.-

KANKRI: -Hears Johns voice and he is bolting outside the godforsaken shop.-

ROSE: -She's sitll not much more than MILDLY PERTURBED BY THIS.- ROSE: You seem to have some understanding of this.

ROSE: As a thing that's happening.

JOHN: -His appearance has changed somewhat.-

JOHN: http://static.tumblr.com/e4acae9096a43fe04e7d2ef3de8e0637/kfbxgjb/eydn4clnm/tumblr_static_emvxq80dwfcoocksos0cogg.gif

RUFIOH: -freezes in the air, fumbling and then dropping his communictor as John bat swings the whole lollipop at his face. He keel spins in the air with a holler... at least until the spinning colors fill his vision and everything feels and tastes PIXIE STICK ROCKIN'.- johnnnnnnNOOOOOOOOOOOHYEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JOHN: -thumbs up- geeEEEEEEEET DUNKED ON!

ROSE: o-o

KANKRI: 9nly s9mewhat...

KANKRI: If I am c9rrect in my assumpti9n s9mething like this t99k place while we were still 9n Aval9n, its like an 9ut6reak 9f a temp9rary disease 9r drug. I had the... unpleasant misf9rtune 9f 6eing c9ntaminated with it. It is n9t lethal I think, h9wever I will n9t say its n9t destructive 9r danger9us c9nsidering I came 9ut 9f the high c9vered in 6ruises fr9m 6ein sh9t with a p9wer h9se and--.........

KANKRI: 9h dear.

RUFIOH: -The next time the other two see Rufioh, his vest is lit up with a rows and rows of flashing pixie stick candy and the grin is wide on his face. He flies but has no need to flap his wings. He flaps them anyway, spreading SPARKLING SUGAR EVERYWHERE.- WHAT'S UP, DOGGS!!!!!!!!!!

ROSE: ...I--

ROSE: Should we do something about this?

ROSE:

ROSE: Did the hose actually work?

KANKRI: -He is covering his nose and mouth with his hands to keep the dust out of his lungs just in case.-

KANKRI: -Looks at Rose and shakes his head, his voice coming out muffled.- (N9 it didnt.)

KANKRI: (I had t9 wait until it left my system.)

ROSE: Oh.

RUFIOH: -bounces to the beat of some music, summoning up a giant candy sword.- HEY YA'LL LOOK A L1L FUCK1NG GLOOMY DOWN THERE!!! WHAT G1VES??? THE N1GHT'S YOUNG AND 1 TH1NK 1T'S T1ME WE CELEBRATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! }8D

ROSE: -She holds up her hand, just in case. A TINY SPARK FIZZLES OUT OF IT. Nothing, still. Crap.-

ROSE: Hngh.

JOHN: -POPS IN RIGHT BESIDE ROSE.-

KANKRI: -Rufioh no please.-

JOHN: I COULDN'T AGREE MORE, BUDDY!!!! A FRIEND DOESN'T LET A FRIEND STAY DOWN IN THE DUMPS. THIS PLANET MAY BE FUCKED BEYOND ALL RECOGNITION, BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN WE CAN'T HAVE A GOOD OLD TIME! ROSE! YOU LOOK MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN EVER! THAT HAIR! THOSE EYES! OH GOOD GRAVY! OH MY STARS AND GARTERS! YOU'RE SUCH A SPECIAL GAL. SUCH A FRIEND!!!

ROSE: Please stand still.

RUFIOH: -swooping down to crack the candy sword clean in half over Kankri's head.- YEAH BO1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROSE: I am trying to work majyyks upon you.

ROSE: Nhgh.

JOHN: BUT HOW CAN YOU WORK YOUR MAGIC...WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE ME UNDER YOUR SPELL??? -POPS ALL AROUND HER, CACKLING.-

ROSE: How are you doing that????

KANKRI: -He turns to look at the suddenly appeared John and had lowered his hands to say something when suddenly fucking Rufioh comes in and cracks the sword over his head and not only does that SMART but when he inhales a gasp of shock hes taking in the cloud of pixi dust that explodes from the broken sugar weapon.-

JOHN: -APPEARS RIGHT NEXT TO HIM, TO CATCH HIM IN HIS ARMS.-

JOHN: -BUT HE SPINS HIM A LITTLE, LIKE THEY'RE DANCING.-

ROSE: -She's not entirely sure whether or not she should yell for help. MAYBE SHE SHOULD.-

KANKRI: -Coughing in a thick cloud of sugar dust but before it even fades his wheezing is turning into giggles. His wardrobe has had a complete color change, his hair is green, and is littered with chalky candy hearts with various #warnings on them.-

KANKRI: -And who?? Spin ME??-

RUFIOH: LOL LOL LOL. THAT WAS WAY TOO FUCK1NG EASY DOGG!!! I LOVE 1T WHEN YOU MAKE SH1T EASY FOR ME! }8D RUFIOH: KANKS, MY MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET'S GET CRUNK!!!!!

JOHN: WHO ELSE??? :DDDD -DIPS HIM-

KANKRI: -OH WELL THIS IS JUST LOVELY, He is spun and poses with his leg out when dipped.- HEH99!

KANKRI: 9H MY I TH9UGHT ID NEVER FEEL LIKE THIS AGAIN.

JOHN: WHAT A SILLY QUESTION! IT'S EASY! LIKE EVERYTHING IS EASY RIGHT NOW.

KANKRI: -Turns head to Rufioh.- CRUNKED Y9U SAY, RUFI9H??

JOHN: YOU JUST NEED TO ACCEPT WHAT YOU CAN'T CHANGE AND BECOME THE CHAOS!!!!

RUFIOH: -pumps his arms and spins in the air, wings tucked close to him.- CRUNK'S THE WORD THE VERB OF THE N1GHT!!!!!! A1N'T NOTH1NG HOLD1N' ME BACK NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KANKRI: I W9ULD 6E M9RE THEN WILLING T9 D9 S9 WITH Y9U 6UT 9NLY IF J9HN MAY J9IN AS WELL!

ROSE: That is certainly a philosophy that has very little to do with the candy on your head, yes.

KANKRI: 9H!! -Dramatic two hand gasp.- AND R9SE T99!

KANKRI: -360 degree spin in Johns arms to stare right at her.-

KANKRI: -8D-

ROSE: ...

ROSE: I don't like that someone just said my name.

RUFIOH: ROSE 1S BOSS!!!!! HAVE YOU SEEN HER DO ANYTH1NG, DOGG???

KANKRI: YES THAT WAS ME I SAID Y9UR NAME, R9SE.

ROSE: This is growing increasingly worrying.

JOHN: ROSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE. YOU'RE SO GREAT!!! I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY AND SAFE.

JOHN: FOR A MILLION BAJILLION YEARS!!!

KANKRI: ALS9 YES RUFI9H, SHE IS INDEED THE 69SS! MY 69SS EVEN HAHA. SHE IS S9 PATIENT AND PUTS UP WITH MY C9NSTANT INC9MPITENCE SHE IS S9 W9NDERFUL.

JOHN: -SPIN ATTACKS KANKRI INTO RUFIOH'S ARMS AND GOES TO EMBRACE ROSE IN HIS TID.- YAHOOO!

ROSE: HRK.

ROSE: -SHE IS CRUSHED.-

KANKRI: -WOOP there him go Hi Rufioh-

KANKRI: -Crashes into him-

ROSE: CAN YOU. PERHAPS.

JOHN: SO GOOD. SO PRECIOUS.

ROSE: PUT ME DOWN?????

JOHN: IF I MUST!!! I'D DO ANYTHING FOR YOU!!!

KANKRI: -Also pulls out his comm device feeling the notifications of Rose's posts.- 999H!

KANKRI: R9SE Y9U ARE 6RILIANT AS ALWAYS YES EVERY9NE SH9ULD KN9W A69UT WHAT IS TAKING PLACE RIGHT N9W, QUICK RUFI9H W9ULD Y9U PLEASE D9 ME THE H9N9R 9F TAKING VISUAL D9CUMENTATI9N WITH ME HEEHEE.

JOHN: WHAT A GREAT IDEA!!! -FLIPS OUT HIS OWN PHONE FOR SELFIE MAGIC! - SAY CHEESE, MISS LALONDE!!!

ROSE: -SHE IS STILL KINDA CRUSHED HERE THOUGH. PLEASE SAVE HER FROM THESE BOYS-

ROSE: -MAKES THE SIGN FOR 'HELP'-

RUFIOH: -hups Kankri up in his arms.- DUDE, 1 WOULD DO ANYTH1NG FOR YOU!!!!! WHY DON'T YOU JUST CH1LL 1N ONE ARM AND 1'LL USE THE OTHER FOR BANGARANG1N' SELF1ES, BRO???? HAVE YOU NOT1CED 1'VE BEEN WORK1NG OUT??????????

JOHN: -GIVES HER A BIG FAT SMOOCH ON THE HEAD, BUT HE HAS ALSO RELEASED HER. fortunately he's got the attention span of a lemur on aderall.-

MEULIN: -hiding in the bushes.... but then LEAPS OUT to tackle Rose-

MEULIN: ... -HOW CONVENIENT HE ALREADY LET HER GO. GREAT. NOW SHE'S JUST. TACKLING HER AWAY FOR NO REASON.-

ROSE: -She falls from John's arms... ONLY TO IMMEDIATELY GET TACKLED AWAY FROM MEULIN.-

KANKRI: -Settles in his arms.- WHY YES I HAVE ACTUALLY!! -feels the muscle with his free hand.- VERY IMPRESSIVE! KANKRI: ALS9 HERE KINDLY USE MY DEVICE! -hands it to him.-

ROSE: -WHEEZES MORE.-

ROSE: -she's gone limp and accepted her fate.-

ROSE: ...Hi Meulin.

MEULIN: -ROLLS, and tries to scoop Rose up- RUUUNNN!

RUFIOH: 1 GOT YOU MAN!!!!!! -holds the device up and snaps a sweet selfie.- }8D

ROSE: -She is carried, limply, like luggage.-

MEULIN: 😤

ROSE: I see you have some experience with this too.

MEULIN: NOPE!!!!

KANKRI: -YES take all the selfies.-

ROSE: I am incredibly weirded out.

ROSE: ... ROSE: Please keep carrying me.

MEULIN: YOU CAT IT!

JOHN: -SQUEEZES BETWEEN RUFIOH AND KANKRI AND STICKS OUT HIS TONGUE-

KANKRI: PERFECT! MAY I HAVE THE PH9NE 6ACK S9 I MAY-- J9HN!! -Smooches the humans cheek.-

RUFIOH: HAHAHAHA, WOAH! THREE DUDES AND A CAMERA! SEEN ENOUGH HENTA1 TO KNOW WHERE TH1S 1S GO1N'!!!!! -laughing.- YA'LL ARE FUCK1NG ADORABLE!!!!!

JOHN: HOO HOO!!! FUCK YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSS!!! SHOWER ME IN KISSES!!!

MEULIN: ε=ε=ε=ヾ(э^・ｪ・^)э -dives into snowy bushes and tucks them both down-

ROSE: -wheezes.-

ROSE: Thanks.

ROSE: I, um.

ROSE: According to Kankri?

ROSE: We have to just...

ROSE: Wait it out.

ROSE: It's some kind of magic.

ROSE: He said drug, but I'm sure this is magic.

JOHN: I WANT TO BATHE IN THE GLOW OF FREE AND LOVING MALE AFFECTION!!!

RUFIOH: THAT'S THE WAY TO GO, DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!! 1T'S GREAT, 1SN'T 1T???????????

JOHN: IT'S SO!!!

KANKRI: RUFI9H THAT IS A VERY VULGAR T9PIC T9 INTR9DUCE T9 THIS SU6JECT, AS HANDS9ME AND W9NDERFUL J9HN IS I W9ULD NEVER DREAM 9F ENGAGING IN SUCH ACTIVITIES WITH MY M9IRAIL. KISSES WILL SUFFICE JUST FINE! -Peppers john's face in them. please take a picture of this.-

JOHN: L I B E R A T I N G!!!!

MEULIN: IT LOOKS PRETTY MURRGICAL...

MEULIN: BUT WHAT THE HELL IS IT? (=ΦェΦ)

ROSE: -wait god damn it-

ROSE: -She actually leans up a lil-

ROSE: (I refuse to believe these are the circumstances John is coming out.)

JOHN: -MAKES THE DIAMOND SIGN IN SOME OFTHE SELFIES.-

RUFIOH: -snap snap snap 📸- };D };D };D

MEULIN: COMING OUT OF WHAT?

KANKRI: -Hate to break it to you rose but john has been gay for some time.-

KANKRI: -Reaches for his comm now.- THANK Y9U S9 MUCH RUFI9H!

ROSE: Nothing.

ROSE: Forget it.

KANKRI: I THINK EVERY9NE SH9ULD GET T9 SEE THE GL9RI9US SIGHT 9F 9UR THREE WAY AFFECTI9NS HEE H99!

ROSE: ...I suppose we just live here now...

RUFIOH: HEY KANKR1!!!! YOU KNOW WHAT 1 HEAR??? 1 HEAR...................................

RUFIOH: A FR1END. }833 -sprouts a little anime cat ear headband up at his horns.-

MEULIN: YEP. -nestles into the snow... she doesn't need this-

JOHN: COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT BETTER MYSELF KANKS!!! MY LOVE FOR YOU IS PURE AND UNAFFECTED BY LUST!!! BUT NOTHING COULD BETTER SERVE TO DISTRACT ME FROM THE DEAD AS DOORNAILS LOVE OF MY LIFE THAN EXPLORING THE UNCESSARILY TANGLED AND COMPLICATED JUNGLES OF HUMAN SEXUALITY!!!

KANKRI: -Wait on his horns or your horns.-

JOHN: I MEAN REALLY, WHAT A TRIP!!!!

MEULIN: BUT IT'S NICE TO SPEND THIS CLAWLITY TIME WITH YOU, ROSE.

ROSE: If that's what you'd like to call this.

ROSE: ...Wow, that sounded kind of mean.

RUFIOH: -On his own horns, obviously. And now he has cosplay piddy paws on his hands. Shit's getting mega furry up in here.- THE Y1FFEN1NG 1S FUCK1NG NYA-GH, BRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KANKRI: 9H J9HN I AM S9 T9UCHED I C9ULD CRY!! IN FACT I MIGHT 6E RIGHT N9W IF IT WASNT F9R MY C9MPLETE INA6ILITY WHEN I AM S9 G9SH DARN HAPPY THANKS T9 THE UNG9DLY SUGAR C9URSING THR9UGH MY VEINS.

KANKRI: I T99 L9VE Y9U S9 DEARLY.

MEULIN: IT IS WHAT I AM CALLING IT IN ORDER TO BE IN DENYAAL. (´⊙ω⊙)

ROSE: Without the circumstance of mind-bending sweets, it would be unambiguously nice, sure.

KANKRI: -Rufioh give him his comm device back before you become a furry.-

JOHN: DUDE YOU LOOK SO CUTE!!!

RUFIOH: -puts the comm back in his butt pocket.- };33 HELL FUCK1NG YEAH 1 LOOK KAWA11 AS SH1T!!!!!!!!!!

MEULIN: ... DID SOMEONE JUST SAY YIFF?

JOHN: THAT ANIME BULLSHIT HAS ME LIKE...!!!

MEULIN: MY GLASSES ARE GETTING REALLY CONFUSED RIGHT NOW. -pulls them off and wipes at the lenses-

MEULIN: (^･ｪ･^)ﾉ⌐■-■

KANKRI: -Rufioh oh my-

KANKRI: THANK Y9U F9R RETURNING MY DEVICES, I D9NT EVEN MIND THAT Y9U JUST T9UCHED ME.

KANKRI: ALS9 RUFI9H I AM S9 GLAD Y9U ARE ACTUALLY HERE, I CANT 6ELEIVE Y9U WERE G9NE F9R S9 L9NG H9W DID ANY 9F US SURVIVE.

JOHN: RUFIOH I HAVE TO BE HONEST, MY FRIEND AND PAL I HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND ALL THIS TIME, NOR WHERE YOU CAME FROM. BUT PRETENDING LIKE I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON IS SO FUCKING STUPID. I'VE DECIDED TO EMBRACE THE CHAOS! HAHAHAHHAHA!!!

ROSE: :T

RUFIOH: THAT'S HOW 1 FEEL TOO BRO!!! D1D YOU KNOW 1T WAS DR1V1NG ME BATSH1T NOT KNOW1NG 1F YOU WERE OKAY??? EVEN 1F 1 WANT TO PUNCH YOU 1N THE GODDAMN FACE! MAYBE ESPEC1ALLY!!!! BUT HEY! HOLD THAT THOUGHT! -the shape of him dissolves in the air... until he shows up behind Meulin in all his anime candy catboy glory.- }833

MEULIN: -OBLIVIOUS. She's working on these lenses.-

ROSE: I don't know if you can read this, but it's probably true. It is all probably terrifyingly true.

RUFIOH: };33 -at Rose.-

ROSE: ...

ROSE: Oh.

ROSE: You see us.

ROSE: -SHIFTS... BACKWARDS...-

MEULIN: -slides shades back on- DO WHAT?

KANKRI: MY TH9UGHT SHALL INDEED 6E HELD! -he calls out after the vanishing Rufioh and clings to John 83-

RUFIOH: 1 SEEEEEEEEEE YOU, MEU MEU. -spreads paw beans in saccharine disposition.- }8D

JOHN: DANCE WITH ME BUDDY! WE'LL DANCE TO THE RESPECTIVE MUSIC IN OUR HEADS!

KANKRI: HE IS S9 L9VELY, EVEN F9R A TR9LL WH9 ATTEMPTED T9 MURDER THE EQUIVILENT 9F MY STEP FATHER, I AM S9 GLAD HE IS HERE AND 6ACK.

JOHN: OH IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED??????????????????????????? RIGHT!!!!

ROSE: ...

JOHN: I REMEMBER NOW!!!

ROSE: Hey, um.

ROSE: Run.

MEULIN: .... FURK. -SCURRIES under the bush and liquids beneath it-

JOHN: EVEN THOUGH I FUCKING HATE DAVENFORTH FOR BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF DAVESPRITE I DON'T KNOW IF HE DESERVED TO BE STABBED! STILL! I REMEMBER HOW BAD I FELT FOR RUFIOH AND EVERYONE IN THAT SITUATION!!! I DID MY BEST TO ENSURE HE'D BE WELL TAKEN CARE OF!!! BUT IT SEEMS HE'S DOING FINE AND DANDY THESE DAYS!!!

JOHN: LOOKS LIKE EVERYTHING WORKED OUT FOR EVERYONE! WHAT A JOY!!!

KANKRI: YES! IT IS WHAT HAPPENED, AND HE AND I ALS9 ENGAGED IN C9UNTLESS FIGHTS WHERE I AM QUITE CERTAIN HE WISHED ME PHYSICAL HARM DEPSITE US 6EING NEAR 6EST FRIENDS F9R A TIME UNTIL HE SUDDENLY SEEMED T9 DISPISE ME 6UT THANK G9SH THAT IS ALL IN THE PAST AND N9W WE CAN JUST 6E HAPPY AND CHEERFUL!! KANKRI 9H AND YES I WILL DANCE WITH Y9U J9HN! I AM IMAGINING THE PERFECT SIMPLE MEL9DY F9R US T9 C9NTENTLY SWAY T9.

RUFIOH: WOAH!!! WHY ARE YOU RUNN1NG AWAY??? THAT HURTS MY FEEL1NGS!!!!!!!!

RUFIOH: YOU WOULD TH1NK YOU WERE T1RED OF 1T AFTER 1 OPENED MY BLOCK AND HOUSE FOR YOU!!! 1'VE ALWAYS JUST WANTED TO HELP, YO!!!!

ROSE: Yes, that is... completely... untenable... and... ROSE: -FLINGS A SNOWBALL AT HIM AND DASHES-

ROSE: -NAILED IT-

JOHN: YOU'RE SO GOOD AT IMAGINING, BRO!!!!

JOHN: WHY CARE ABOUT ANY OF THAT WHEN WE CAN JUST!!!

JOHN: SWAY TOGETHER.

KANKRI: 9H J9HN Y9U ARE S9 RIGHT AS ALWAYS.

JOHN: -SINGS- I JUST WANNA

JOHN: KEEP ON LOVING YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

MEULIN: -WHEEZES under this bush. it's taking time to read all this dialogue on her glasses but it all makes her... kinda sad. because it all feels like stuff she might have said once, trains of thought she might have had.-

MEULIN: YOU CAN'T, THOUGH!!!! -why is she even trying to argue, she sort of laughs anxiously under this bush. THE HECK.-

KANKRI: -Look at these two gayly sway.-

JOHN: -They sway in the air.-

RUFIOH: -DOOFS and eats snow a little bit. Shaking his head with a sparkly laugh.- HAHAHA, THAT'S COOL. 1 M1GHT BE A FUCK FOR BREAK1NG YOUR HEART BUT. LOL! THAT'S 1T! 1'M JUST A FUCK! HEY MEUL1N!!!! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO??? FORGET ABOUT ME TOO! YOU'RE DAMN GOOD AT THAT! 1 TH1NK THAT WOULD HELP EVERYONE 1F YOU ASK ME!!!!!!!!!!

RUFIOH: WHY D1DN'T 1 TH1NK OF THAT SOONER?? HOLY SH1T!

JOHN: (that's the spirit, buddy)

JOHN: -distracted and hypnotized by swirling around in the air with kankri)

KANKRI: -He is so content air dancing with John, he doesnt even mind the heart breaking shit happening with Rufioh right now.-

KANKRI: THIS IS S9 L9VELY I AM THRILLED I DID N9T PAY ATTENTI9N WHEN RUFI9H SMASHED THAT WEAP9N 9VER MY HEAD.

RUFIOH: -cups hands around his mouth and hollers at Kankri.- HEY KANKR1!!!!!!!!!! BRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RUFIOH: DO YOU WANT TO BE MEUL1N'S NEW BFFS1E??? YOU'D DO A HELL OF A LOT BETTER A JOB THAN ME! 1 COULDN'T EVEN ST1CK AROUND TO SEE 1T THROUGH THE END! D1D YOU KNOW YOU'RE JUST A BETTER PERSON THAN ME???

RUFIOH: YOU SHOULD TEACH ME TO BE MORE L1KE YOU! }8D

KANKRI: -suddenly owl turns, craning his neck too fast to be comfortable.- I W9ULD L9VE T9 6E HER NEW 6EST FRIEND, 9H AND RUFI9H IF Y9U W9ULD LIKE LESS9NS 9N H9W N9T T9 ALIENATE PE9PLE FR9M Y9UR LIFE DUE T9 Y9UR NATURAL 9FF PUTTING NATURE I CAN CERTAINLY D9 MY 6EST T9 ASSIST Y9U!!

JOHN: HAHA! KANKRI IS TERRIBLE AT INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS TOO. THAT'S WHY YOU GUYS SHOULD BE FRIENDS. YOU HAVE A LOT IN COMMON.

KANKRI: H9WEVER I AM ALS9 DESPISED 6Y ALM9ST EVERY9NE I KN9W S9 I CAN 9NLY H9PE I CAN S9ME H9W TEACH Y9U T9 6E 6ETTER THEN ME!

KANKRI: HAHA!

RUFIOH: -hands on his hips and laughs heartily- HAHAHAHA, 1 TH1NK JOHN 1S R1GHT! THERE'S JUST SOME TH1NGS 1 SHOULD HAVE BEEN UPFRONT AND FREE TO ADM1T! 1'M GLAD 1 DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT ANYMORE!

KANKRI: THAT IS S9 TRUE!! RUFI9H PLEASE D9 N9T EVER W9RRY AGAIN A69UT V9ICING Y9UR SH9RT C9MINGS!

JOHN: I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. I SUPRESS LITERALLY ALL MY EMOTIONS ALL THE TIME UNTIL THEY BURST FORTH IN A SPASMODIC GEYSER OF AGRESSION AND ANGST!

KANKRI: ITS TRUE HE D9ES THIS ALL THE TIME!

KANKRI: -Wraps his arm around John's shoulders.-

JOHN: I'M GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO BE INSECURE ANYMORE ABOUT WHETHER MY FRIENDS STILL CARE ABOUT ME AND WANT ME AROUND. I'VE REALIZED THAT I AM AWESOME AND FLAWLESS. WHO WOULDN'T WANT ME AROUND?

KANKRI: I CERTAINLY WANT Y9U AR9UND J9HN!

KANKRI: Y9U ARE MY FAV9RITE PERS9N AND DESERVE T9 6E THE FLAWLESS C9NFIDENT PERS9N Y9U ARE!

KANKRI: REALLY THANK G99DNESS Y9U AND I F9UND EACH 9THER WHEN WE DID 9R I MIGHT HAVE ACTUALLY L9ST THE ENTIRETY 9F MY SANITY AFTER L9SING MY PLANET, MY H9ME, MY DIGNITY, AND ALM9ST THE ENTIRETY 9F MY WILL T9 C9NTINUE EXISTING! KANKRI: EVEN IF ALL THAT STILL MATTERED ANYM9RE IM JUST S9 GLAD I HAVE Y9U REGARDLESS T9 PICK UP THE PREVI9USLY DEFECTIVE PIECES 9F MY 6EING. -paps his face.-

MEULIN: -What's worse than what he's saying is the fact that she's quiet amongst the leaves and sharp twigs that she knows she's going to tear out hair to free herself from, and she feels more trapped here than she had in the infirmary.-

MEULIN: -And yet, they all just keep going. She isn't sure if it's the pain behind their words or her own emotions that sting more, but, eventually it's too much, and she squirms out of the bushes, scraping and tugging and scratching herself up, wet with snow and flushed with green.-

MEULIN: YOU... ARE ALL... MEULIN:

WRONG!!!!!!!!

MEULIN: THIS ISN'T HOW TO HELP YOURSELVES OR EACH OTHER... OR ME.

MEULIN: THIS ISN'T HOW F33LINGS WORK.

MEULIN: THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU WOULD WANT.

MEULIN: PLEASE... STOP.

MEULIN: I DON'T WANT TO S33 MY FRIENDS HURT ANYMORE.

KANKRI: MEULIN THERE Y9U ARE!!

KANKRI: ARE Y9U READY T9 6E 6EST FRIENDS??

RUFIOH: -This should be breaking his heart but it just makes him giggle. Throwing his hand out at Meulin like OH YOU.- WHO'S HURT?? NOT ME!!! 1 FEEL H1GH AS THE SKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! -zooms up, doing a loop de loop.-

KANKRI: -applauds Rufioh's trick.-

MEULIN: YOU DON'T S33 IT, BUT I DO.

MEULIN: I ALWAYS DO.

MEULIN: IT DOESN'T JUST GO AWAY... EVEN WITH MAGIC.

MEULIN: AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!!

MEULIN: THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH F33LING BAD!!!!

KANKRI: -Wiggles out of John's arms to slide over to her, hands tucked behind him.-

KANKRI: MEULIN Y9U S9UND RATHER D9WN AND 9UT! IT PAINS ME T9 SEE ANY9NE THIS WAY. -Yet his smile is still uncomfortably wide.-

RUFIOH: LOL! YOU SAY THAT BUT HEY!!!! 1SN'T FEEL1NG BAD WHAT LEAD US TO HURT PEEPS, MEU????? WHAT 1F WE STOPPED DO1NG THAT AND JUST FELT GREAT ALL THE T1ME! THAT WOULD BE FUCKIN' BANG1N'! -kick dances in the air-

JOHN: -HE WAS SO WRAPPED UP IN KANKRI'S DECLARATION OF LOVE, THAT HE STARTED SINGING "HOW CAN I LIVE WITHOUT YOU" AND FLIPPING CONTINUOUSLY IN THE AIR.-

KANKRI: CAN I 9FFER Y9U AN 9P9RTUNITY T9 FEEL IMMENSELY 6ETTER? I PR9MISE IT D9ES N9T HURT AND Y9U WILL 6E QUITE ALIVE AND FINE AFTER!

KANKRI: I SPEAK FR9M EXPERIENCE!

ROSE: (You did not concur with that point several minutes ago.)

JOHN: IF I HAD TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU. WHAT KIND OF LIFE WOULD THAT BE.

KANKRI: -Somehow is able to whisper in roses ear from where he is.- (9PINI9NS CAN CHANGE MY DEAR.)

JOHN: I NEED YOU IN MY ARMS! NEED YOU TO HOLD!

MEULIN: -she considers backing away... but she doesn't. she stands there and meets Kankri's gaze, balling up her fists.-

MEULIN: I DON'T WANT TO F33L BETTER.

JOEY: =With no sudden movements (and nearly laying down on the floro so no one can see her), she carefully pulls her curtains closed=

ROSE: -FLINCHES.-

KANKRI: -Keeps smiling at her.-

KANKRI: 9H 6UT I THINK THAT Y9U D9! EVEN JUST F9R A LITTLE WHILE. IT REALLY IS N9T ANY DIFFERENT FR9M Y9UR RECREATI9NAL ACTIVITIES IN FACT IF ANYTHING IT IS S9 MUCH 6ETTER!

KANKRI: WITH 9NE YES Y9U WILL FEEL 9N CL9UD NINE AND N9THING WITH 6E WR9NG ANYM9RE! ITS REALLY JUST WHAT EVERY 9NE 9F US NEEDS RIGHT N9W WHILE WE ARE TRAPPED HERE!

JOHN: YOU'RE MY WORLD, MY HEART MY SOUL. IF YOU EVER LEAVE!!!

KANKRI: -Moves his hand from behind his back to offer her a small candy heart that says "#Happy!! <3"-

KANKRI: -It all somehow fits on there.-

RUFIOH: -floating in the air, chinhandsing with a happy smile on his face.- DAAAAAMN, KANKR1'S GOT GAME!!! HAHAHA!

MEULIN: -stares at Kankri, and then down at the candy heart. She stares at it for a long moment, her mouth a serious frown, and then glances back up at him.-

MEULIN: ...

MEULIN: -swipes out her hand and SNATCHES the candy heart.-

KANKRI: -HE CERTAINLY DOES.-

KANKRI: 8D

RUFIOH: }8D

KANKRI: Y9U CERTAINLY WILL N9T REGRET THIS MEULIN!

JOHN: NOW THAT I MENTION IT, ISN'T IT FUCKED UP THAT FEFERI'S BEEN DEAD FOR ALMOST AN ENTIRE YEAR AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN GROWN THE BALLS TO HOLD ANY KIND OF MEMORIAL OR FUNERAL SERVICES? HONESTLY I'VE BEEN AFRAID TO BRING IT UP BECAUSE I'M JUST WAITING FOR HER TO COME BACK! THIS WHOLE TIME!!! I STILL BELIEVE WE'RE GOING TO RAISE OUR CHILDREN TOGETHER AND GET MARRIED. BUT I CAN SEE HOW SAD EVERYONE'S FACE GETS WHEN I MENTION HER RETURNING. I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY THINK THOUGH!!! HAHAHAHAHHA!!! I DON'T GIVE A CRAP!!!

KANKRI: HEEHEE!

RUFIOH: LOL LOL! WOAH, JOHN!!!! THAT'S SOME HEAVY STUFF!!!! 1T'S SO GREAT TO CLEAR THE A1R AROUND A1N'T 1T????????

JOHN: IT'S SO!!! LIBERATING!!!

KANKRI: THATS IT J9HN!! D9NT EVER GIVE UP Y9UR H9PES EVEN IF IT IS VERY UNLIKELY THAT SHE WILL!! I THINK ITS S9 ADMIRA6LE THAT N9 MATTER WHAT Y9U STILL C9NCIEVE THE N9TI9N THAT SHE WILL C9ME 6ACK T9 LIFE!

KANKRI: AWE INSPIRING TRULY!

JOHN: THANKS BUDDY! I THINK SO TOO!!!

RUFIOH: YOU'RE AWE 1NSP1R1NG, BRO! 1F YOU CAN NAB ONE CHO1CE MO1RA1L L1KE JOHN, ANYBODY CAN!!!!

KANKRI: 9H RUFI9H Y9U ARE T99 MUCH!

RUFIOH: HELL YEAH, 1 KNOW! };D

MEULIN: -She practically crushes it in her grip, but it's all too quick. She changes color, and now she's flooding with cotton candy pink, red, and green.-

ROSE: Oh.

KANKRI: I THINK S9ME DAY Y9U T99 WILL FIND AN9THER EVEN IF Y9UR LAST 9NE LEFT Y9U! LET N9THING STAND IN Y9UR WAY!

KANKRI: -👀 meulin-

KANKRI: -welcome to the party!-

ROSE: -She draws in a deep breath, and just sits in the snow.-

KANKRI: -Throws his arm around her.-

RUFIOH: MEU MEUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RUFIOH: LOL, DUDE! HE NEVER LEFT ME! HE WENT BACK TO BEFORUS AND BLEW THE FUCK UP! 1SN'T TH1S WHY WE FOUGHT 1N THE F1RST PLACE?

MEULIN: -she winces, tail puffed out, still standing there... and then blinks open her eyes.-

RUFIOH: 1 SURE AS SH1T D1DN'T WANT TO L1VE ANYMORE AFTER THAT! WOW!!!!!!! JOHN! D1D YOU KNOW YOU SAVED MY GODDAMN L1FE??? YOU'RE A HERO!

JOHN: -POPS NEXT TO ROSE- YOU DON'T WANT TO JOIN IN THE FUN, ROSE? I KNOW YOU'RE SAD AND TIRED. I KNOW YOU FEEL HELPLESS SOMETIMES. MAYBE THIS COULD RELIEVE SOME OF THE PRESSURE!!! I'D JUST BE OVER THE MOON IF I COULD HELP YOU.

MEULIN: ....

KANKRI: 9H I HAD N9 IDEA THEY WERE DEAD! I JUST REMEMBER 6EING CREAPED 9UT 6Y H9W IT FELT LIKE Y9U MIGHT HAVE 6EEN TRYING T9 USE ME AS A SUBSTITUTE F9R THEM, HAHAH!

MEULIN: -chucks off her sunglasses.- NO!!!!!!!!!!!

KANKRI: -owl turns to meulin.-

KANKRI: -8000-

KANKRI: N9???

RUFIOH: YEP!!!!!!!! HE SURE WENT BACK TO BEFORUS TO D1E! AND 1 SHOULD HAVE GONE W1TH H1M!!! THAT'S HOW YOU MADE ME FEEL, DUDE! 1T WAS SO MESSED UP! NO WONDER 1 HATED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

KANKRI: DID Y9U N9T LIKE Y9UR GLASSES?

MEULIN: NO!!!!!!

ROSE: -She looks like she's about to say something, face... barely certain of what to make of this, before the shout.-

MEULIN: THIS IS ME.

MEULIN: THIS IS HOW I'M GOING TO BE.

KANKRI: ALS9 RUFI9H I AM S9 GLAD Y9U ARE TELLING ME THIS N9W, THAT MAKES A L9T M9RE SENSE!

RUFIOH: -does more dances in the air. ^w^ -

JOHN: WOW. THE GIRL IS PERSISTENT! GIV EIT UP FOR MEULIN!!!! -CLAPCLAPCLAP-

KANKRI: HM?? WHAT IS Y9U MEULIN? D9 Y9U FEEL 6ETTER N9W?

KANKRI: H9W A69UT N9W?

MEULIN: I F33L. LIKE I'M SUPPAWSED TO F33L. BECLAWS I'M ME!

ROSE: -She rises, slowly, stepping over towards Meulin.- ROSE: What just happened here...?

KANKRI: -smiles at Rose and keeps his arm around Meulin.-

KANKRI: -Grins with his pointy teeths.-

MEULIN: I DID WHAT YOU WANTED. BUT IT DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING!!

JUDE: -takes notes outloud while he's recording this mess- this candy may or may not only effect men... or they're just weak willed...

MEULIN: -shrugs off Kankri's arm and reaches out a hand to Rose-

KANKRI: IT D9ESNT?? -Doof is shrugged.-

RUFIOH: -👀 the voice on the wind. Grins in Jude's direction.-

KANKRI: 9H DEAR!! -Slides over closer to Rufioh even if he is in the sky.-

ROSE: -GRABS THE HAND.-

JUDE; -HE'S INSIDE THE HOUSE DON'T EVEN TRY IT.-

ROSE: I am not sure why or how but I consider this a miracle. ROSE: Thank you.

KANKRI: RUFI9H I D9NT THINK MEULIN IS ENJ9YING HERSELF ALL THAT MUCH..

JOHN: -HE'S STILL APPLAUDING- LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE GIRLS!!!

KANKRI: WILL Y9U 6E HAPPY WITH ME INSTEAD?

MEULIN: -hups her up and fucking... FLOATS INTO THE AIR??? YOU KNOW WHAT FINE SHE CAN DO THAT NOW.-

MEULIN: -THIS IS INCREDIBLY STRANGE BUT SO IS EVERYTHING-

RUFIOH: WHOOP WHOOP! -loops arms with Kankri, beaming.- THAT'S COOL, DUDE!!! NOT EVERYONE 1S GO1NG TO FEEL THE SAME AS YOU. THAT'S WHY WE SHOULD ST1CK TOGETHER!!!

RUFIOH: BTW, WHO'S THE HOT W1NDOW PEEPER???? 1 KNOW FOR SURE 1'VE NEVER SEE H1M BEFORE!

ROSE: -She is HAULED LIKE PRINCESS PEACH.-

ROSE: That was... very well spoken, you know.

JOHN: THAT'S MY COUSIN. JUDEY JUDEY JUDEY JUDEEHHHHH.

JOHN: I MEAN I'M SAYING COUSIN BUT HE MIGHT BE MY UNCLE OR FATHER OR SOMETHING.

KANKRI: H9T WIND9W PEEPER Y9U SAY??? -Make those hand telescopes and looks around until some how he makes dead eye contact with Jude even this far away.-

JOHN: I DON'T HAVE ANY CLUE HOW MY FAMILY WORKS AT ALL!!!

RUFIOH: HE'S HOT, DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A HOT DAD!!!! HAHAHAHA!

JUDE: -clears throat, speaking up- half brother... technically...

JOHN: -YELLS BACK- THANKS JUDE!!!!

JUDE: wait, don't-- JUDE: don't look at me

KANKRI: 9H YES HIS FACIAL SYMMETRY IS RATHER PLEASING T9 L99K AT.

JUDE: -DIVES AWAY FROM THE WINDOW-

JOEY: =slapping/pulling on Jude's pant leg trying to get him to duck down=

KANKRI: J9HN Y9U HAVE EXCELLENT GENES.

JOHN: YEAH, I KNOW.

KANKRI: -Links arms with Rufioh, look at them being best buddies.-

JOHN: -SPINS IN THE AIR AND KISSES HIS OWN BICEPS-

KANKRI: J9HN Y9U ARE S9 6EAUTIFUL.

RUFIOH: YOUR FACIAL SYMMETRY HAS ALWAYS BEEN GOOD TO LOOK AT, KANKS. -arms over Kankri's shoulder now.- }BD

JOHN: HE HAS A REALLY CUTE BUTT TOO!!! -SHOUTING-

KANKRI: S9 ARE Y9U RUFI9H REALLY QUITE STUNN-

KANKRI: 9H THANK Y9U!!

KANKRI: -Then his arm is going around Rufiohs waist.-

RUFIOH: THANKS, BRO!!! 1 ALWAYS FELT L1KE MY GOOD LOOKS GAVE ME MORE TROUBLE THAN 1T WAS WORTH BUT HELL!!!! 1F 1T MEANS MY FR1ENDS ST1CK AROUND FOR EVEN A L1TTLE WH1LE, 1'LL SMOOCH ALL OF THEM!

JOHN: I ALSO REALLY LIKED YOUR COOL COSPLAYS!!! REMEMBER WHEN YOU MADE ME THAT GHOST BUSTERS OUTFIT?

JOHN: THAT WAS SO RAD!!!

RUFIOH: FUCK YEAH, 1 REMEMBER, JOHN!!! THAT WAS FUN AS HELL!

MEULIN: -She twitches her ears -- somehow, she feels like she can hear Rose, even without hearing. Maybe she's reading her lips. It doesn't have to make sense, but she's trying to ignore how her eyes are stinging as she glides over the rooftops, trying to put the chaos of her yelling friends behind her.-

MEULIN: ... I'M SORRY. -sniffs and smiles at Rose, just a little.- FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO HELP.

MEULIN: I GUESS IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE... I'M MORE SCARED OF NOT BEING ME.

KANKRI: Y9U MADE THAT F9R HIM?? THAT IS S9 GENER9US 9F Y9U RUFI9H!

JOEY: (what the actual heck is going on out there?) =peeks under the curtain a little=

KANKRI: ALS9 I SHALL A6S9LUTELY STAY 6Y Y9UR SIDE N9W THAT Y9U ARE HERE WITH US AGAIN, F9R ANY PRICE!

JUDE: -ALIENS hand gesture- cherub magic...

RUFIOH: 1 TOTALLY L1KED JOHN BEFORE YOU D1D, HAHAHAHA. F1GHT ME BRO!

JOHN: NOW, NOW MY GOOD BROS. THERE'S ENOUGH JOHN TO GO AROUND.

ROSE: -She smiles a little bit, sadly.-

ROSE: I...

ROSE: Yes, I understand.

ROSE: You don't say things like that so easily. Not unless it becomes impossible to care.

ROSE: I think I prefer this.

ROSE: I don't believe I've ever been rescued quite so gallantly before.

ROSE: In defiance of all known physics.

KANKRI: WHAT?? I SHALL N9T FIGHT Y9U 6UT RUFI9H TH9SE S9UND LIKE CHALLENGE W9RDS!

RUFIOH: AND WE BOTH KNOW YOU L1KE CHALLENGES, KANKS. };D

RUFIOH: WHY NOT TRY TH1S ONE ON FOR S1ZE???????????? -then swoops down to plant a sugar smooch to Kankri.-

JOHN: :O!!!!

JOHN: -GASP-

JOHN -THE SCANDAL-

KANKRI: -HELLO!!-

KANKRI: -Is so smoothly smooched, he leans with the swoop and places his hands on either side of Rufioh's face for this wonderful kiss. What a reunion!-

JOHN: I SUPPORT AND FULLY ENDORSE THIS WITH NO REGRETS WHATSOEVER!!!

JOHN: I JUST WANT YOU AND KANKRI (BUT ESPECIALLY KANKRI) TO BE HAPPY!!!

RUFIOH: -Thanks bro!! He's had practice, dipping Kankri back to perpetuate the SUAVE. Insert spanish guitar riffs here.-

KANKRI: -Swooning to the part.-

JOHN: -UNCAPATCHAS....HIS KEYBOARD. HE'S GOING TO GIVE THIS LOVELY MOMENT SOME THEME MUSIC. Nevermind that he's playing it without it being plugged in at all. Magic.-

KANKRI: -John you are perfect.-

MEULIN: HEHEH33. WELL... I ONLY TOOK YOU BECLAWS YOU WANTED TO GO WITH ME.

MEULIN: AT LEAST... I'M ABLE TO HELP YOU.

KANKRI: -Also takes pictures of this kiss too somehow.-

RUFIOH: -volcanos explode, dragons swoop, everyone is so jealous.- <333333333333

KANKRI: -If anyone is jealous he can smooch them too!-

JOHN: -HE'S CONTENT WITH SMACKING ON HIS KEYBOARD JOYFULLY FOR NOW. Somehow the music sounds like xylophone and a trombone.-

KANKRI: -Breaks the kiss for a moment however.- RUFI9H HAVING PREVI9USLY ENTERTAINED TH9UGHTS 9F WHAT IT W9ULD 6E LIKE T9 KISS Y9U IN THE FAR DISTANT PAST I WILL SAY IT IS RATHER SATISFYING!

ROSE: You are.

ROSE: ...

ROSE: -She frowns, suddenly.-

ROSE: I imagine it must be terrifying to lose control like that.

ROSE: But you've grown a lot stronger since we first met.

ROSE: As hard as it's been, I have seen it. I am seeing it now.

ROSE: Even if the only evidence you have is overpowering the strength of whatever bewitching candy demon presented us with that hell-sucker.

RUFIOH: -snuggling him close, the happiest bull.- HAHAHA, DUDE SAME!!! 1 THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA BE BEST FR1ENDS FOREVER UNT1L YOU PULLED THAT EX-MO1RA1L SH1T!!! BUT NOW WE'RE TALK1NG ABOUT 1T AND MACK1N 1NSTEAD OF F1GHT1NG AND 1 TH1NK TH1S 1S POSS1BLY THE BEST OUTCOME OF ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

RUFIOH: LET'S RUN OFF TOGETHER DUDE! LET'S L1VE ON AVALON AND BU1LD UP BEFORUS L1KE 1T WAS ALWAYS MEANT TO BE!

ROSE: These things happen in degrees. It tends to make them a great deal more surprising, in the end.

ROSE: ...So.

ROSE: Thank you.

JOHN: DON'T HOLD YOURSELF BACK, KANKRI! YOU DESERVE EVERY EXPERIENCE THIS UNIVERSE HAS TO OFFER!!!

JOHN: YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH!

KANKRI: -Brightens more, if thats even possible when hes in this state.- 9H THAT S9UNDS S9 W9NDERFUL!!! I W9ULD L9VE T99! I HAVE STR9NGLY C9NSIDERED CHANGING 9CCUPATI9NS SINCE I AM A FAILURE AT THE 9NLY THING I TH9UGHT I MIGHT 6E G99D AT, THERAPY! PERHAPS I C9ULD 6E A C9NSTRUCTI9N W9RKER! I C9ULD 6UILD A R99F!!

KANKRI: 9H 6UT J9HN SH9ULD C9ME T99! AND GAMZEE I W9ULD N9T WANT T9 LEAVE EITHER 6EHIND, THEY ARE QUITE FRANKLY TW9 9F THE M9ST IMP9RTANT PE9PLE IN MY LIFE.

MEULIN: -She doesn't know what to say anymore, and at this rate, her throat feels too tight even if she wanted to. Her eyes are blurring quickly with -- what is that, lime green?? That's not normal, and she drifts down to a snow-covered rooftop in the more dimly lit areas of town, just sort of caving down to sit with Rose when she starts to cry.-

KANKRI: AND THEY DESERVE S9 MUCH 6ETTER THEN THEY ARE DEALING WITH N9W!

ROSE: -She rests a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.-

JOHN: HELL YEAH! FUCK THIS WAR! I'M TIRED OF PRETENDING TO BE STRONG WHILE WATCHING MY FRIENDS CONTINOUSLY SUFFER AND DIE.

ROSE: -Silence. She ignores how bright and vibrant her colors are, right now. Or the absurdity down below-- how hard it all is to process. That feeling of helplessness when faced with a barrage of everything wrong with her friends-- her family-- and the hellish situation they've lived with for so long.-

RUFIOH: -looks both astonished and delighted to hear Kankri's suggestion. Wafting off more sparkling sugar.- THAT'S THE BEST FUCK1NG 1DEA 1 HAVE EVER HEARD OF 1N MY L1FE!!!!!!!!!! RUFIOH: LET THE FOUR OF US L1VE TOGETHER, BRO! YOU, ME, JOHN, AND THE LOVE OF MY FUCK1NG L1FE!!!!!!!!!!

ROSE: -Better to just... be herself. She cozies up against Meulin and wraps an arm around her fully.-

KANKRI: YES I AGREE FUCK THIS WAR! -Snuggles Rufioh, this is so great.-

KANKRI: WE ARE ALL S9 6RILLIANT THIS IS PERFECT!

RUFIOH: -smooches all on Kankri's face.- YOU'RE PERFECT, DUDE! 1 DON'T WANT ANYBODY ELSE TO TELL YOU YOU'RE NOT!

KANKRI: -Laughs loudly as he is so smooched.- LIKEWISE RUFI9H LIKEWISE! I MAY HAVE SAID TERRI6LE THINGS A69UT Y9U T9 9THER PE9PLE 6EHIND Y9UR 6ACK 6UT FR9M N9W 9N I WILL DEFEND Y9UR NAME AND THE G99DNESS 6EHIND IT WITH MY DYING 6REATH!

JOHN: AWW YES!! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO LIVE WITH THREE OTHER DUDES ON A FARM IN BUMFUCK NOWHERE. I'LL BE A PEDIATRICIAN AND KIDS WILL NEVER GET SICK UNDRE MY WATCH. HELL, MAYBE I'LL RETIRE FROM DOCTORING AND JUST BE A KINDERGARTEN TEACHER.

JOHN: AND RULEUS CAN GROW UP WITHOUT ME HAVING TO WORRY THAT HE'LL BE SHOT OUT OF THE SKY.

RUFIOH: -spins with Kankri in his arms.- YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. 1T CAN ONLY GET BETTER FROM HERE, DOGG!!! YOU AND ME VERSUS THE WORLD! }8D

MEULIN: -A part of her still wants to feel embarrassed at knowing how hard she's crying already, but then, she can't. She doesn't want to. And the heavy warmth of Rose's arm around her confirms that this is right.-

MEULIN: -She leans into Rose, and she lets herself feel the emotions she's been carrying. At last, she feels sure this is the way to heal.-

KANKRI: -They spin!! And its Rufioh's turn to get so many face kisses! Hes feeling so affectionate and its so W9NDERFUL to have Rufioh back and the thought of rebuilding beforus is great too.- TRULY Y9U ARE S9 RIGHT! RUFI9H NEVER LEAVE MY SIDE AGAIN!

JOHN: HAVE A GOOD TIME YOU CRAZY KIDS! I HAVE SOME BUSINESS TO TAKE CARE OF!!!

JOHN: BUT I'LL BE BACK!!!

JOHN: *NYOOM. POP!!!-

JOHN: -HE POPPED OUT OF EXISTENCE AGAIN.-

RUFIOH: BYE JOHN! HAVE FUN! }8D

KANKRI: !!

KANKRI: G99D6YE J9HN, I L9VE Y9U 6E SAFE!!! <><> -Who knows how he emotes those diamonds.-

JOHN: -THE LEFT OVER BREEZE TENDERLY RUFFLES KANKRI'S HAIR.-

KANKRI: -('8B-

[gainfulgumption-blog]

JUDE: -at some point in the evening, long after the sun had set, regardless of whether jane got some rest or not, the crazy treehouse man is knocking restlessly on her door.- jane JUDE: jane, are you awake? JANE: -She hadn't been able to sleep for long. It took time for her to relax, all the multitudes of thoughts spinning around ceaselessly in her head, enough to be maddening. By the time the silence was finally enough to help her rest, she still hadn't been out long enough to sleep deeply; just the tapping on the door was enough to wake her easily. She didn't rise immediately, though; she knew once she did, whatever was about to happen was all the more inevitable. She took in a slow breath, and responded.- JANE: Yes, I'm up. JUDE: okay, good -leans on the door frame a little- JUDE: because we need to leave JUDE: I have everything packed that I need to take JANE: ... I suppose you don't have any spare clothes. JANE: -She finally starts to sit up, glancing around the room. It would have been way more convenient to bring clothes wherever she went for this moment, but that made absolutely no sense before.- JUDE: ... well JUDE: there might be some things in my parent's old room JUDE: or even my sister's... -he's not sure if she could fit into any of their clothes... maybe joey's- JUDE: I'll-- I'll check -scoots away, leaving something behind at the door- JANE: -She can hear his footsteps trailing away, and she sits still for a few more moments before gathering her resolve completely and standing. It's time to get this show on the road, for better or worse!- JANE: -She moves for the door, pulling it open and peering into the hall.- JUDE: -he left behind... a carrier. full of pigeons. three pigeons, to be exact. and they're all STARING AT HER.- JANE: ... Oh. JANE: -Looks around like. The fuck?- JANE: -Bends down a little to get a better look at them. Pigeons were always sort of cute with their little bobble heads...- JANE: I didn't know you had birds, -she calls out. The house is so empty, surely he'll hear her wherever he is.- JUDE: -calls back to her- oh, yes JUDE: they're my carrier pigeons -emerges from a bedroom down the hall lugging a suitcase.- I call them... the lone gunbirds -he actually smiles in reference to this. PRETTY CLEVER, RIGHT? he seems to think so.- JUDE: the gray one is frohike, the white one is langly, and the brown one is byers... JANE: -It takes her a second or two, and she looks up at him suddenly.- ... Oh my gosh. You mean those hackers in the X-Files? JUDE: -his eyes are so shiny- yeah! exactly! do you watch it? it's-- oh JUDE: right, here -hands the luggage over to her- I uh... wasn't sure what you'd like so I grabbed a little bit of everything... JUDE: we can talk more about amazing television series when we're on the road, I guess JANE: ... Thank you, Jude. -She allows herself a little smile, captchaloguing the suitcase into her recipe sylladex.- JANE: On that note, um... JANE: I assume you have a plan of action for accomplishing said road bludgeoning? JUDE: ... ah... well JUDE: taking public transport is too risky JUDE: so I was thinking we... -hoists up the bird cage, making a case of what a spectacle he is. a disheveled looking man in a trench coat toting around birds.- JUDE: hitch hike? JANE: ... JANE: -Keep it together, Jane. So he doesn't have a car, she can assume. And he looks like a weirdo. This is going to go absolutely terribly unless she can think of something fast.- JANE: ... JANE: Well-- now just-- hold on. -scrambles through her sylladex, lips pursed, until she finally finds what she's looking for and holds it up between them proudly.- Wear this. JANE: -It's a beaglepuss.- JUDE: ... JUDE: ... JUDE: ... JUDE: are you kidding JANE: I never kid, Jude. JUDE: -squints... but takes the beaglepuss and affixes it to his face, OVER the glasses he's already wearing.- hrm -twitches nose and makes the moustache dance- JUDE: ah-- -SNEEZES and knocks them off his face, where they land pathetically on the floor between them.- ... JANE: .... -Looks down at the fallen beaglepuss. Hello darkness my old friend. She leans down to scoop it up and slide it right back onto Jude's face.- JANE: Now, please do your best to keep it on. -Casually equips her own moustache, smoothing it over her lip.- As long as we look like harmless moustachioed funnymen down on our luck, surely someone will take pity on us. JUDE: I don't know jane JUDE: I realize I have the appearance of a complete and utter whackadoo as it is JUDE: but as someone who has a little more socialization than I do I... guess I'm trusting your judgement here JUDE: ... I guess being entirely conspicuous is uh... off putting so-- um anyway yeah JUDE: let's go -starts heading towards the stairs, but pauses- JUDE: ... we're going to washington by the way JANE: Washington? JANE: What's in Washington...? -Aside from being the place she's sure her dad grew up. But that's not really relevant, surely.- JUDE: -ACTUALLY- JUDE: james lives there JUDE: lived JUDE: his house is there -begins his decent down the stairs.- JUDE: it's fortified to protect against the kinds of threats we might be encountering JUDE: perfect for laying low until the uu gets here JUDE: -pauses at the end of the stairs, where the front door is. he just stares at it for a good long moment.- JANE: Well, that is awfully convenient. -She's not too worried about the money portion of the trip, so she doesn't bother asking. Assuming the currency in this universe isn't any different, at least. She's always been fairly loaded.- JANE: -She follows him down, pausing behind him in wait... before realizing this is quite a long wait, and then remembering why.- JANE: ... Jude? JUDE: -snaps out of it when he's addressed, swallowing down the dread and anxiety bubbling up from the pit of his stomach.- yes? yes JUDE: I'm fine JUDE: if that's what you're wondering JUDE: ... JUDE: l... ladies first? JANE: -Jane doesn't say anything more. At least the nap had helped settle the frustration she had felt earlier, and now, in the face of his apparent struggle, she feels mostly sympathy. Carefully, she navigates her way around him with a sigh, grabbing the handle of the front door and giving it a twist. A nice breeze greets them when she pulls the door ajar, and so does the darkness of the night. Not the ideal time for travel, but she supposed that was why he had wanted to do it.- JANE: -She steps out a few paces, checking over her shoulder for him once she's down the front steps.- JUDE: -he's only managed to make it into the doorway at that point, eyes trained on the stairs themselves, trying his damndest to focus on that literal first step. he could rationalize all manner of thing. he wondered why it had to be so hard to convince himself that he could do this. there was a time when he lived an active life on the outside... albeit one of constant fear, but he still did it. he could do it again, right?- JUDE: -his gaze shifts up towards jane then. at least this time he wouldn't be alone. she might be a stranger, but she's as lost and confused as he is in this terrifying world. so with an overwhelming amount of energy, he starts to make his shaky descent down the steps and into the front yard.- JANE: -Something about this moment, seeing his fear and then his resolve, she can't help a kind of proud smile from tugging at her mouth. She doesn't really know him, either, but she knows this can't have been easy. If for no other reason than that, she's compelled to touch a hand to his forearm once he's close enough, supportively, just for a moment.- JANE: Well, how hard can a little road trip be? We've got the cover of night, the company of the Gunbirds, and some pretty fantastic facial equipment, if I do say so myself. JANE: Ah... How far is Hauntswitch from Washington, anyhow? JUDE: -her comforting words are more helpful than she knows, and maybe even more helpful than he ever would have realized before. it had been such a long time since he'd known the support of anyone.- JUDE: it's... um JUDE: a twenty hour drive JUDE: roughly JANE: Oh. JANE: Well... JANE: -She crunches through the grass, making sure he's still beside her as they cross the yard, passing each tree and leaving it behind them.- A few days, if we're incredibly lucky. JANE: A week... still, if we're lucky. JANE: -She nods once.- That doesn't sound too bad. JUDE: it... it should be alright, yes JUDE: -the yard is large and a good distance from the road which slopes down the slight incline of a hill. this is where the other houses in the neighboorhood can be found and, of course, the crocker corp building just at the end of it. the red structure sticks out like a sore thumb in the middle of this relatively small town, and jude can't take his eyes off it.- JUDE: o... once we're in town... maybe we should pick up some things JUDE: like um JUDE: food I guess -he's having a hard time thinking. and breathing. there's so much damn SPACE out here...- JANE: -It's hard for her gaze not to be drawn to it, too, and despite what she's been told, she can't help feeling a sense of... relief and familiarity at the bright red building, compared to everything else that's happening here. There's a voice in the back of her head still telling her she should go there, but the sound of Jude's heavy breaths next to her has her looking back at him again.- JANE: Jude... JANE:  -This time, she isn't as brief and hesitant as the arm touch before. She takes his free hand, holding it firmly in hers.- JANE: You're darn tootin' we're getting some goodies. And once we get to your cousin's house, who I can only assume isn't some kind of ovenless barbarian, I'll fix you something proper. JANE: Town is this way, correct? -She's leading confidently, nodding toward buildings in the distance.- JUDE: y... yeah -tries to distract himself thinking about the promise of an actual, factual home cooked meal- JUDE: I can't even remember the last time I had food that wasn't canned, dried, or microwavable... JUDE: -he also preoccupies himself with her warmth against his god awful clammy hand. every so often, reflexively, he squeezes her's, and it helps him close the distance from his house to the end of the street.- JANE: Tsk. I can't say I'm surprised, but I am not about to let that go uncorrected! JANE: Not to toot my own horn, but I can whip up a pretty resplendent baked good. What do you like? Tiramisu? Sponge cake? Fruit tart? JANE: I haven't made mousse in a few days, either... JANE: Or should we just keep it simple and go for a old good fashioned chocolate chip cookie? JUDE: -oh no... the thought alone brings him back. way back. visits to aunt juniper's, plates and plates of cookies just waiting for him and his sister. come to think of it, jane kind of reminds him of her... that would make sense, wouldn't it?- JUDE: cookies sound... perfect

JUDE: -while jane might be taking the lead for his sake, he does provide some navigational help. the town is a little different from how he remembers by way of the structure, and a lot different by way of the atmosphere. you could cut the tension with a betty crocker brand kitchen knife. the streets are, for the most part, deserted, save for the occassional pair of patroling trolls, brandishing the trident logo so easily recognized as a symbol of the condesce and alternia.- JUDE: -somehow, experiencing this first hand is even more horrifying than anything his imagination could have cooked up about it. maybe it kickstarts some kind of fight or flight reflex, but witnessing the state of things outside his treehouse seems to kickstart an adrenaline rush that gives him a little more confidence.- JUDE: -when they reach the nearest convenience store, he asks jane to go inside and grab food while he "stands guard" outside and bums for a ride at the same time. two birds with one stone. though he doesn't use that analogy around his birds. that's just impolite.- JUDE: -so here he is... on the street corner, thumb out, dressed the way he is. there's no way he isn't going to draw some kind of attention. hopefully it's the kind he wants.- PENNY: -Well, he's certainly got the attention of someone, alright. She was driving her car down one of the quieter highways through the country, her route sort of aimless; she considered heading back to Texas, what with how close it was, but the closer she got, the more she reconsidered. Brett's adoptive family had already left the planet, and her own? Well, she didn't really want to see them. So for now the destination was anywhere with something to see before she inevitably kicked it, which... seemed to be encroaching swiftly, if not by the trolls then by her own terrible habits that seemed to be all she had lately.- PENNY: -And then there were things like this that made her consider postponing the whole idea, at least for a minute. A town that seemed nigh deserted, ominous, and the very last thing she expected to see in that kind of place... a guy on the side of the road, trenchcoat around him and a pair of those goofy ass big nose spectacles on his face and a cage in hand with something inside too small for her to decipher in this darkness until she hits her breaks and pulled up alongside him.- PENNY: -In short, this is one hell of a fucking hobo, and she's about it. Her passenger side window rolls down with a soft mechanical whirr, and she leans across the passenger seat toward it, making a show of eyeballing him.- PENNY: well looks like someones going down yelling timber in this shit show of a trollocalypse. wheres the party at Groucho? PENNY: I would have gone with the dicknose glasses myself. JUDE: -when the car pulled up, he realized all at once that he will now have to make conversation with another complete stranger. and he is just... so bad at that. of course, this only becomes more complicated when the car window rolls down to realize an absolutely stunning red head is the driver. AH YES. THIS IS EXACTLY HIS LUCK.- JUDE: I... -stammers, thankful it's dark out and he has this stupid disguise covering up the blush creeping onto his face- JUDE: I'm trying to keep a low profile JUDE: a "dicknose" would attract the wrong kind of attention -nailed it- PENNY: oh yeah. I can see the low profile thing for sure. PENNY: whats in the cage? -kinda leans around- JUDE: um... -lifts it so she can see better.- my birds JUDE: carrier pigeons, to be specific PENNY: -She's already grinning, but a little more at that.- aww. PENNY: well I guess you cant leave those guys behind. youre not dicknose after all. PENNY: where you going? JUDE: washington JUDE: state, that is... PENNY: huh. PENNY: never been to that corner of the map. PENNY: but theres a first time for everything get in. JUDE: wha-- what?? really? that... that easily? PENNY: did you want to barter for it like its the eighteenth century? PENNY: cuz I can get down with that for a second. lemme see your face. JUDE: -WHAT IS... WHAT??- I can't-- well... shit -he can't very well wear this the entire time, can he? well, if she's going to trust him so easily... he sighs and takes the beaglepuss off. he is quite flustered.- PENNY: -She waits, blinking, brows raising. He definitely looks less goofy now, but... cute. Not quite what she was expecting, and a little red in the cheeks, she can see.- PENNY: oh yeah definitely get in. PENNY: you can put your birds in the back seat. JUDE: ... if you're sure... -shuffles to do that. oh, right.- JUDE: I... I forgot JUDE: somehow... JUDE: I'm not alone JUDE: my... -knits brows.- associate? is in the store PENNY: you forgot about your associate. PENNY: that doesnt sound shifty at all my dude. PENNY: whos your associate? JANE: -HERE COMES ME. She's actually done in there and was already looking around for him before realizing he was chatting someone up, so she waits politely nearby, just... staring.- PENNY: ... lemme guess. JUDE: ... yes JUDE: we're in uniform, you see -hahah... glances back at jane.- JUDE: I... got us a ride JANE: -She peers around Jude now, trying to get a better look. Well. The driver is a girl and a human, and that's kind of a relief for several reasons she doesn't want to think about too hard.- Well, I won't be looking this gift horse in the mouth. Let's hop in the carriage before it gallops away, shall we? -Dirk would appreciate that one, she thinks.- PENNY: well one of you better say giddyup or this pony aint going nowhere. JUDE: let's JUDE: saddle up then JUDE: ... -he wishes he hadn't said that. he is filled with much regret. ANYWAY. the pigeons are in the back seat, and he's laying claim to shot gun for reasons. at least jane won't be alone back there.- JANE: -She is fine with this. Frankly, the birds seem like good companions. She hops in, carefully scooting the cage over to the other seat... and buckling it in. You're safe now, birds.- PENNY: snrrrrk. -while they get in, she's pulling out a cigarette and sticking it in her mouth, muttering around it while she fishes out her lighter.- if youre horny lets do it... ride it my pony... -flicks lighter and inhales smoke, rolling her window down to blow it out. Now that they're all settled, she shifts the car back into gear and... promptly cuts a U turn in the middle of the road, heading back the way she was coming from originally.- PENNY: so how long have you two been loitering around Nowhere Colorado?(edited) JANE: -Well... she just got here by a strange portal, but she finds it prudent not to say so. She's fielding this one to Jude.- JUDE: -that decision may or may not be a mistake. it's pending in the second that it takes jude to figure out what kind of story he wants to feed to this stranger. but trust him, no matter what he says, it's purposeful.- JUDE: ... I live here -looks at her, unclinging himself from whatever he could grab when they suddenly turned.- lived here JUDE: I guess JUDE: and she JUDE: is passing through JUDE: ... JUDE: from an gateway leading to an alternate universe JUDE: -wiggly fingers as he suddenly spills all these secrets.- now we're headed for my cousin's house in washington JUDE: he lived in fortified bunker in an inconspicuous white picket fence suburban home in a retirement community JUDE: and we're taking this technology there to keep it safe from crocker corp and the condesce until we get help from our rogue companions on a spaceship formerly criminalized by taskforce tumut to deflect blame from them when this beforan and alternian war began!! JANE: -FACEPALMS IN THE BACK SEAT.- PENNY: -Huh.- huh. PENNY: -she sucks in another lungful of smoke.-  uh huh. thats cool. -Like there wasn't anything weird about that statement. Frankly, right now, she doesn't really care if it's true or not. It sounds hilarious.- PENNY: so I guess you guys havent seen the blockades? JUDE: -okay, good, he was kind of banking on her just thinking he's a crazy person and gave it no time of day. glances back at jane. EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE DAIJOUBU.- JUDE: I can't say that I have... personally... JANE: -THAT ISN'T HOW THIS WORKS JUDE!!! We're supposed to keep her from KICKING US OUT, is what her expression says. Mostly the eyeroll part.- PENNY: mmm. all the major roads. PENNY: usually at the toll booths. half of anybody that tries gets through. Ill let you use your imagination with what happens to the other half. PENNY: youre lucky I picked you up. I just came in from this way so I already know where they are. PENNY: at least until we get about mid Cali. PENNY: you gotta pay the troll toll if you wanna get in this countrys hole.(edited) JUDE: -EVERYTHING. IS GOING TO BE. DAIJOUBU. JANE.- JUDE: ... JUDE: I'd rather not use my imagination actually JUDE: it's pretty active PENNY: oh? thats good news. PENNY: -side eye winks at him and vrooms just a little faster- PENNY: anyway Ill figure something out. skim the maps a little. PENNY: dont wanna die before I see Washington. PENNY: hear it gets pretty cold up there. PENNY: maybe Ill pick an apple. PENNY: who knows. PENNY: could get crazy. JUDE: -HE HAS REGRETS. AGAIN. glances out the window with color creeping across his face.- washington is nice JUDE: from what I remember anyway JUDE: it's worth seeing JUDE: before dying JUDE: ... as opposed to after dying JUDE: -fuCK- JANE: -just. buries face in hands forever back here.- PENNY: -okay now she's outright giggling.- dunno. PENNY: think I would make a pretty great ghost. PENNY: and I gotta cruise around to find the best place to haunt you know? PENNY: lets be real though theres nowhere thatd be funnier than a toaster. PENNY: maybe a spatula. JUDE: ... or an oven maybe? -imagining baked goods flying out of a possessed oven for SOME reason. he blames jane.- JUDE: though I wouldn't suggest washington for that JUDE: it's not populated enough, and I don't think the people are very superstituous JUDE: if you're going to haunt someplace, it should be in the south PENNY: oh thanks baby. PENNY: those rednecks have it coming anyhow. PENNY: -casually switches hands and offers him her cigarette. it's stained with a wine-colored lipstick.- PENNY: guess that explains Georgia huh? JUDE: -baby... HE HAS NEVER BEEN CALLED THAT BEFORE BY A LADY THAT WASN'T, LIKE, HIS MOTHER. and now he's being offered a cigarette?? how did she know he smokes? does he look like a smoker? does she know things she shouldn't know? or er... okay this might a case where he's over analyzing things. maybe. regardless, he's kind of stuck now and he would like to have a lipstick stained cigarette so he's going to accept it.- JUDE: a lot of things might explain georgia actually PENNY: -snickers- alright no need for a history lesson. PENNY: point is youre welcome for picking you up. PENNY: most people arent willing to risk roaming around the country. you either try your dubious luck or youre homestuck. PENNY: i prefer the former frankly. JUDE: I... JUDE: am definitely not regretting that risk JUDE: at least not yet JUDE: I guess there's still time for you to reveal yourself as some sort of femme fatale crocker corp spy, or maybe even a serial killer, or... JUDE: well I could probably come up with a lot of theories -discards some ash out the open window. um. hopefully jane's window isn't open.- JUDE: but we don't have much choice JANE: -pBFBFBTHFHT. ROLLS HER WINDOW UP IMMEDIATELY. Why didn't she think about this as a consequence...- JANE: -stares into the distance. B|- PENNY: -LAUGHS AGAIN.- thats always nice to hear. PENNY: that youre someones choice right up there with a serial killer. PENNY: you think Im a femme fatale though? thank you. PENNY: I try. PENNY: thats a joke. PENNY: or is it... PENNY: anyway Im Penny. PENNY: Penny Lane Piper. JUDE: ... -PENNY LANE IS IN MY EEEAAAAARS AND IN MY EEEEEYYYYEES.- you're... kidding JUDE: -clears throat- I'm JUDE: my name is jude PENNY: -side eyes him even more, smiling slow.- PENNY: hey Jude. PENNY: bet you havent heard that one before. JUDE: only every time I've introduced myself to a fellow human being JUDE: ... except... -looks back at jane. he isn't sure if she wants to give out her real name... or if he should introduce her on her behalf?- JANE: -clears her throat.- Jane. PENNY: heh. jude jane and penny lane. were practically our own song as it is. JUDE: -that makes him smile a little bit.- ... we are going on the kind of trip people sing about JUDE: but usually there are less death tolls PENNY: nah. PENNY: the song of my life pretty much necessitates death tolls. PENNY: -reaches for her cigarette again, just sort of papping the side of Jude's face.- JANE: -She is feeling so comfortable in the back of this vehicle right now, let her tell you.- JUDE: uh-- um...-WHY SHE TOUCH HIM- oh -passes it back. he almost forgot about returning it. whoops.- JUDE: is it really that apt? JUDE: ... or are you being facetious JUDE: because I wouldn't be surprised either way -sorry jane... but actually- PENNY: -BREATHES THE GOOD AIR. smiles at him and breathes smoke back out.- PENNY: youre really set on me being a murderer huh? PENNY: -looks back to the road.- nah. PENNY: my storys a lot less glamorous. PENNY: though I was pretty glamorous despite it all. PENNY: thats what we in the biz call star quality. JUDE: -glances over at her again- ... you're an actress? JUDE: you do kind of have JUDE: that JUDE: old school hollywood JUDE: aesthetic PENNY: a kiss on the hand may be quite continental but diamonds are a girls best friend. JANE: Oh! I love that one... JANE: -considers Moulin Rouge fondly.....- JANE: -But also just considers old movies fondly...- PENNY: right? PENNY: anyway yeah Im an actress. PENNY: mostly a model these days. PENNY: or I guess I was. PENNY: not much of that going on right now as you can see. JUDE: -imagines her in the satine garb for a second but quickly dismisses the thought. but he can't dismiss the blush.- ... it's gotta be hard to hold a career in anything these days PENNY: ha! it was hard enough before. PENNY: I wouldve killed to grow up in a place like this. -mutters a little, but she doesn't clarify. she blows smoke out of the window, coughing a few times. she goes quiet suddenly when she sees headlights distantly behind them.- JUDE: ah... -the quiet is unsettling, because he isn't really sure how to make conversation without someone taking the lead. his attention fixes on the headlights too and hopes for a moment that they aren't being FOLLOWED!!- mrrg JUDE: -looks back at his pigeons and murmurs to jane- (how are they?) PENNY: -Well, Penny isn't taking any chances. She takes a somewhat sudden turn -- not too fast, but sudden enough, so she can check if they're actually following them.- JANE: Oh, they're just grEAT--! PENNY: -THA-THUNK. Oh, they ran over the edge of the curb a little. That's fine.- PENNY: -She keeps going down this residential road, and she's watching closely. She sees the lights make the same turn, and there's a distant grinding sound as she shifts the car into a higher gear.- JUDE: o-oh shit -AAAHH. well, now he doesn't feel so paranoid for believing they might be followed. maybe penny is just as paranoid as him? the thought makes him blush more. pathetic...- JUDE: -glances back at the headlights again with wide eyes.- do you... are you going to outrun them??? PENNY: Im gonna make sure they dont follow us. -With the gear shifted, she hits the gas hard, speeding down this road much faster than the speed limit would have allowed. The neighborhood that flies by in the flashes of the headlights seems somewhat trashed, but it's not a new sight to Penny. The car is accelerating quickly, and she loops back around to the main road, only going faster. The headlights behind them are still visible enough to know that whoever is behind intends to continue being there, but Penny's just smirking at the rearview mirror.- JANE: Yes--! We're outrunning them! I think? -turns around.- Oh. PENNY: -Yep, that sight in her rearview is getting closer faster. She had a feeling. She shifts gears even higher, and she's practically flooring it. There's the sight of a low bridge constructed over a lake approaching in the distance, a sign flying by: "BRIDGE MAY ICE IN COLD WEATHER."- PENNY: HOLD ON TO YOUR TITS. -She veers off the road before the guard rails block the way, and they're going so fast in the hover car they zoom right down the subtle slope onto the lake shore, heading right for the water. There's the distinct jerk of the vehicle as they bounce into the water.- JANE: -SHE IS JUST!!! SCREAMING!!!!- JUDE: -definitely screeching at this point also- PENNY: -But the speed combined with the function of the car works in their favor -- in fact, they're zooming right over the surface of the lake, and Penny keeps the speed up, pedal to the floor.- HAHAHAHA!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!! SUCK IT BITCHEEESSS.(edited) JANE: -IS SHE DEAD YET??? JESUS CHRIST.- JUDE: -clinging to the door and his seat like a cat being dunked into a bath tub, which is similar to the fate he was expecting but much to his surprise, they might just make it out of this?- ha... hahaHAHAH JUDE: oh my god PENNY: -She's focusing on getting them across the lake, thankfully, but she takes this victorious moment as she watches the headlights fade in the distance behind them to offer some more curses.- AND YALL CAN EAT THAT GREASY DICK WHILE YOURE AT IT. JANE: -Why that image in this moment. She's going to be ill. This is entirely badass, though, she will admit. BUT ALSO WHY.- PENNY: -She's pulling them onto shore behind some lakeside houses, apparently, an even worse thunk than the curb as they slide across grass, speed too high to stop as she jerks them between a house and its garage, pavement smoking from the fuel scorching it. She's got to find a place to slow this puppy down and fast, but also she just realized she dropped her cigarette in the midst of that and now it's trying to burn her lap.- FUCK FUCK FUCK. -She's hitting the brakes!! The car sort of fishtails from wrestling with all this momentum, barreling onto another street and narrowly missing some trees on the way, and she just manages to guide the car down the actual road until it stops and throws her door open, slapping the cigarette off of her lap and into the street.- and then I get fucking PUSSY BURNS? RRGH. PENNY: -Huffs, and then she seems to remember the other two are still there and looks to the side, over her shoulder. She grins slowly.- you two still alive? JUDE: -stares at her, absolutely MORTIFIED, but somehow he's giving her a buck toothed grin in return.- ... b... barely JUDE: no that's a lie JUDE: I haven't JUDE: felt this alive in a long time PENNY: HA! YEAH thats what the fuck Im talking about! -she's smiling at him still, more than pleased, little laughs bubbling up still from the adrenaline.- JANE: ... I. JANE: ... Am going to just. Have another nap. PENNY: -pulls her door shut again and gets the car moving once more.- do what you want there sugar. PENNY: gonna just put some distance between us and the fuckwads first and then we can refuel. PENNY: I mighta killed a good bit of the tank just now. PENNY: and hopefully not anything else. PENNY: other than my lady bits but you know. PENNY: cest. la. fucking. vie. JUDE: hahaha... JUDE: cest la JUDE: vie... -wheezes gently- JUDE: -he isn't sure how he managed it, he is almost entirely certain that they happened upon the perfect person to drive them to their destination. well, assuming they don't die on the way there first.-

[gulescamisade]

New York:  Day 16

JOHN: -He came out into the snow-covered town for some sort of practical reason, but he ended up forgetting entirely what that was. Two hours later, he's out here building snow salamanders.-

JUDE: -STARING AT HIM THROUGH A WINDOW.-

JOHN: -He takes no notice of Jude for now. All these fucking salamanders need pebbles for eyes and fat tails. John didn't dress very well for the cold. He forgot to put gloves or a scarf on. His hands and face are red and chafed. BUT he doesn't have to use his hands to push the snow around so he's still having a ball.-

JUDE: -he is burning... he wants to go out into the snow but he's having a hard time leaving.-

JUDE: ...

JUDE: -knocks on the window to get john's attention.-

JOHN: >:O

JOHN: -IT'S JUDE! He floats up to te window and...knocks back.-

JUDE: ... -opens the window a crack- JUDE: hello

JOHN: -leans on the sill to warm up his snoot and hands.- hey jude!

JOHN: hahaha.

JOHN: get it because

JOHN: aw, you get it.

JUDE: -he looks so unamused-

JOHN: -beams at him, so proud of himself.-

JOHN: what's up, buttercup?

JUDE: oh, nothing

JUDE: I was just watching you play in the snow and thought it must be nice to be able to just...

JUDE: go outside and play in the snow

JOHN: well.......there's a perfectly good window right here.

JOHN: come on out!

JOHN: -waggles eyebrows.-

JOHN: -john u ablelist fuck-

JUDE: -makes a face- uh... wait, are you planning on floating me down or something?

???: -high in the sky, there is a circling figure encroaching the small town. Difficult to say, but that glint of copper does look a little familiar.-

JUDE: -OH GOD WE'RE UNDER ATTACK AGAIN. he ducks back down under the window sill.-

JOHN: oh, right you can't fly. yeah. i could do that- -OH SHIT HE HAS THE SAME THOUGHT.-

JOHN: -squints and SQUARES up.-

JOHN: -HE WILL PROTECT YOU, TINY CANADIAN TOWN.-

???: -Just a single flappy dot that is descending at rapid speeds. Then all at once, he drops down to the snowy ground, buffeting up a lot of wind and snow. Removes the hoodie from his bull-horned head to blink and stare at the bair of bucktooths-

RUFIOH: ...john?

JOHN: -Had his fists raised with a FIGHTY expression on his face, balancing on the window sill on his toes. Then he recognizes that pair of familiar horns. A nitram. Huh. Oh, it's just Rufioh.-

JOHN: oh!

JOHN: hey!

JOHN: -he's not as shocked about this as he probably should be.-

RUFIOH: uh...

RUFIOH: ...

RUFIOH: -lifts a hand to wave.- hey, man.

JOHN: -jumps off and silently lands in the snow. He goes in for a fist bump.-

JOHN: good to see you, man! what brings you here?

JUDE: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/04/3d/0c/043d0cf0b05401dc8f5a9df8291fddf7.jpg

RUFIOH: wh... -wall-eyed about this exchange and honestly kind of concerned. He looks around his surroundings, uncertain. Fixing John with a knitted expression.-

RUFIOH: -gotta get the man his fist bunps tho. Definitely.-

RUFIOH: what... br1ngs me here?

RUFIOH: ...

RUFIOH: should 1 not be here or... -flaps his wings about to shake the snow off of him.-

RUFIOH: sorry, dude. 1 just... was under the 1mpress1on that... you weren't hav1ng 100% a good t1me out here. th1s earth canada or whatever the fuck... -glances at the peeking human from the window. Gives him the side eyes.-

JUDE: -he's not having a good time-

JUDE: -if it's any consolation-

RUFIOH: -He is comforted by this, thank u.-

JOHN: -Uh oh. He's missing something. Probably something important. He kind of sweats internally, debating on whether to ask any questions. He knits his brow in concern.- umm. well! we uh....we got captured by guy fieri and his minions, but we've been okay since we left. we're just taking some time to recover and hide out a bit.

JOHN: how....did you get here? -He's struggling to remember where Rufioh was in the first place. Confusion.-

JOHN: i mean...our plane got shot down! but we escaped and nobody was hurt.

RUFIOH: -winces and rubs the back of his neck thru the hoodie.- yeah... heard about that... glad you made 1t out alr1ght.

RUFIOH: um... k1nd of a long story, bro. k1nd of 1nvolves portal hopp1ng and... talk1ng to some strange crypt1d peeps. avalon's full of those...

RUFIOH: but th1s was a spec1al case, 1 guess. 1t happened really fast 1f 1'm honest... anyway.

RUFIOH: 1'm here now. -ends up looking past john. Kind of hopeful for something.-

JOHN: -looks back at Jude. Oops. He waves and gives some enthusasitc thumbs up, letting him know IT'S OKAY.-

JOHN: -rubs the back of his neck. He feels guilty and sort of a lost/embarassed combo, like there's something he should say or do and he's just ...missing it.- hey, why don't you come inside. warm up and have some food and stuff. all of that sounds pretty intense.

[ THUMPING SOUNDS FROM INSIDE. ]

RUFIOH: um..........

RUFIOH: that's a good 1dea... almost... -wary peering at the thumping sounds. He's got a sword and it's pointy.-

JOHN: 👀

JOHN: -WHAT COULD THAT BE. he goes to investigate.-

RUFIOH: -keeps his distance because he minds his self preservation and all.-

[ Soon accompanied by yowling. IT APPROACHES. ]

JUDE: -WHAT IS THAT NOISE!!!!!-

RUFIOH: -O shit........................-

MEULIN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjeNh2lLXDU

JOHN: ah.

MEULIN: -if this window wasn't open all the way it is now because she is COMING OUT OF IT.-

MEULIN: -EXCUSE HER JUDE-

JUDE: WAH

JOHN: -just staring.-

RUFIOH: oh sh1t. -Well this is happening. He braces himself for impact.-

MEULIN: -POUNCE!!!!-

MEULIN: RRRR! RRRRR!!!!

JOHN:-Just stands off to the side with his hands on his hips. Well. Would you look at that.-

MEULIN: ヾლ(=｀ω´=)ლ

MEULIN: -Rufioh is the proud recipient of the fat cat, complete with purrs and nuzzles.-

RUFIOH: -POUNCE TACKLE'D. There he goes, crash sliding thru the snow.-

RUFIOH: - wasted...-

MEULIN: I KNEW I SMELLED YOU. I KN333W IT.

MEULIN: -kneads his belly, content.-

RUFIOH: -wheezes... There's so much purrs and wild cat hair in his face.- that's just... accurate.

RUFIOH: d1dn't want to message you 1n case there was a way to track 1t down?? so. yeah.

RUFIOH: 1'm here.... -and crushed. She's right on his belly and Ruf flops. Looks to John for help.- (help.)

MEULIN: HI EFURRYBODY. (=^-ω-^=)

JOHN: -He can't help but smile at this. Well???? It's cute!! He does nothing to assist Rufioh, partially because he would never obstruct this cuteness and partially because he lacks context for everything.-

JOHN: that was a hell of a jump!

JOHN: -I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON.-

JOHN: :D

RUFIOH: -John, ffs...-

MEULIN: THANKS! I'VE B33N PURRCTICING.

MEULIN: -places paw on Rufioh's face.- YOU CAME ALL THIS WAY??

RUFIOH: -scrunches up his face and accepts his fate.- 1 had to...

RUFIOH: 1t was dr1v1ng me nuts not know1ng what was happen1ng...

MEULIN: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT HOW ROSE KILLED A GUY NAMED GUY FURRY?

JOHN: -While they're having this moment, John FLOATS UP TO THE WINDOW AGAIN TO CHECK ON JUDE.- -knock knock- hey buddy? you ok?

RUFIOH: yeah... 1t was all over the newsfeeds on avalon... they try and keep on top of the war stuff happen1ng.

RUFIOH: everyone's real nervous.

JUDE: -STARES some more.- yes, I'm fine

JUDE: I'm a little less concerned with playing in the snow now, however

MEULIN: IT'S B33N PRETTY ROUGH... -she's still recovering, but hey, WHATEVER-

MEULIN: I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE. (=ＴωＴ=)

MEULIN: EVEN IF CANYAADA ISN'T THE BEST.

RUFIOH: -dammit... he rests a gloved hand by her head.- yeah...

RUFIOH: had to come as fast as 1 could.

RUFIOH: ...

RUFIOH: john sa1d 1 could come 1ns1de?

MEULIN: OH YEAH! WE ALL HAVE THESE LITTLE HOTEL ROOMS. -rolls off him and wriggles in the snow beside him. IT'S FLUFFY.-

JOHN: oh! well! i think we're heading inside soon anyway.

JOHN: um, i'm sorry if that startled you or whatever but that's rufioh. he's a crew member. he um...hasn't been...around in a while ...but he's a friend!

RUFIOH: -rises like the undertaker and attempts to brush the snow out of his hair.- glad you're keep1n' a low prof1le. RUFIOH: aren't you cold?

MEULIN: SURE!! BUT... IT'S SNOW. (ฅ•ᆺ•ฅ)

JOHN: -eventually hops down and rejoins them.-

JOHN: aww. you guys murdered my family of snow salamanders.-

MEULIN: NO SNOWMANDERS LEFT ALIIIIIVE.

JOHN: this is almos worse than what you did to that poor moose.

JOHN: almost, but not quite. :/

MEULIN: (ฅ•ω•ฅ) -paws up like WHOOPS. they were hungry tho.-

RUFIOH: -if she isn't already wearing one, Rufioh sets a beanie right on her head. He brought one for her just in case.-

JOHN: -awww. she's so cute.-

JOHN: -but in his mind's eye he's replaying the horrifying carnage that took place.- watch out dude, you're next.

RUFIOH: 1 heard about the moose too... -makes a face.-

MEULIN: -IS BEANIE. Content.- WE DON'T HAVE TO K33P TALKING ABOUT THE MOOSE! -let her bite butts.-

RUFIOH: 1 th1nk we should... but a1ght. -fixes the beanie for her, making sure her horns are comfy snug.-

RUFIOH: 1f 1'm not 1nv1ted 1ns1de 1 can always l1ke... crash 1n some tree out here. 1t's no b1gg1e.

RUFIOH: 1n case you need a scout...

MEULIN: OF COURSE YOU'RE INVITED INSIDE! IT'S SAFER IN THERE ANYWAY.

RUFIOH: bangarang... 1'll take you up on that. -flaps his wings again, giving thim a stretch.-

[gulescamisade]

New York:  Day 7

MEULIN: -She can't quite sleep; her dreams have been sort of weird. It's not too unlike usual, but having been bashed through a wall and dealing with serious pain in her ribs isn't the best for rest either. Her sylladex is back, so she's got her overhead light on and her notebook in hand, scribbling new lines. She's writing about Dave and Karkat currently, because they won't answer in the bulletin feed. She's anxious.-

JOEY: =Ugh, plane rides always threw off her sleep schedule, now more than ever since it had been near a decade since the last time she was on one.=

JOEY: =Seeing Meulin's light on, she weaved through the aisles until coming up to her row, sleepily rubbing an eye.=

JOEY: having a hard time zonking out too?

MEULIN: !

MEULIN: -She had kept the glasses on idly, but words scrolling across the screen startle her a little with how "quiet" it had been for some time.- OH... -clears throat, trying to be quiet.- MMHM...

MEULIN: -glances over at looks at Joey more fully- HEY, SO... WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?

MEULIN: I MEAN... NOT SUPER LITTERALLY. BUT WHERE HAVE YOU B33N? BEFORE NOW.

JOEY: tons of places, really...

JOEY: i lived on alternia for quite a while before bouncing between earths and alternias

JOEY: and now im finally back where i started :)

MEULIN: HAVE YOU NEVER B33N TO BEFURUS? -chirps with interest, wiggling in her chair to face Joey more fully-

MEULIN: -she doesn't seem to quite be grasping the plurality. She thinks it might just be a glasses typo-

JOEY: oh....no I dont think so

JOEY: my travels were stuck between the two switching back and forth

JOEY: thats actually a correlation I never really thought about... it's something to tell jude when he's awake haha

MEULIN: OH??

MEULIN: WHY BACK AND FURTH THERE?

JOEY: =is the seat open next to Meu? if so she's taking it. Funny enough, she found trolls easy to trust, having lived around them for so long. But Meulin was a stranger.... WELL, not for long!!=

JOEY: well see, it all starts with a long story, but the abridged version is that ive been trying to find my way back

JOEY: from different universes

MEULIN: -IT SURE IS, until Joey takes it.-

MEULIN: DIFFERENT MEWNIVERSES? -knits brows- I GUESS I'VE B33N TOLD A LITTLE ABOUT THAT... BUT IT S33MS SO SILLY...

MEULIN: NOT THAT I DON'T BELIEVE YOU! IT'S JUST... I GUESS IT'S HARD FUR ME TO MAKE SENSE OF.

JOHN: -he's been listening for a little bit, he didn't want to interrupt- it's the real deal, meulin. jake showed me a picture and everything.

MEULIN: ?! -LOOKS AROUND FOR JOHN.-

JOHN: -he's right here. he waves-

MEULIN: -OH HI-

JOHN: haha, sorry i didn't mean to startle you. i was listening to joey.(edited)

MEULIN: SO PEOPLE ARE JUST... HOPPING AROUND ALL WILLY-VANILLY?

JOEY: oh...im guessing different universes are common knowledge here? hehe i thought i was revealing a whopper of information that would totally blow your mind out of the mind ballpark

JOHN: hey i don't know about all that. all i know is jake is from a different universe too. and he showed me a picture of dirk from a different universe.

JOHN: but as far as i know he only went once. he didn't just...ping pong around like you're saying.

JOHN: -eyes her curiously-

MEULIN: OKAY, SO THIS ISN'T JUST MIND BLOWING FUR ME. GOOD TO KNOW. ~(=^. .^)

JOHN: my mind equals blown.

JOHN: -mimes the "mind blown gif thing"-

JOEY: oh

JOEY: well ping ponging might only work under very specific circumstances JOEY: at least in my case

JOEY: did jake come through a doorway?

JOLENE: ... -shifts a uncomfortably where she's sitting nOW THAT I'M PAYING ATTENTION-

JOHN: man...i don't know. i never asked him.

JOHN: sorry!

JOHN: don't worry though. you'll get to talk to him soon when we go get him.

JOEY: i hope so :)

JOEY: it would be an interesting conversation

JOHN: so uh, what was it like being a human on alternia?

JOHN: i mean tbh it sounds pretty terrifying.

JOEY: the trick is not to be a human on alternia ;)

JOHN: 👀

JOHN: -???-

JOHN: okay now you've got me all intriguied.

JOEY: well as long as you look the part, walk the walk, and talk the talk, trolls can be easy to fool =glances over at meulin= no offense

MEULIN: NONE TAKEN, WE'RE FURKING WEIRD.

JOHN: haha wow. really? so you slapped on some horns and face paint and that fooled the alternian authorities.

JOHN: wow. great job guys.

JOEY: well learning the language, registering as a maroon, and getting a sustainable job was a touch harder, but =shrugs=

JOHN: -raises his eyebrows, impressed.-

---

[SPEAKING OF TRAVEL PLANS, it's been getting a little bit harder to keep going the direct path they've been going in this plane-- between the border patrols protecting against the CANADIAN RESISTANCE LEAGUE and the ships that keep passing them by-- often requesting identification or confirmation of some kind-- it's been getting downright dangerous. The fact that they wound up in the middle of Ontario just to avoid some of the heat is beginning to make this a harder affair than it should be-- especially since they can see several other blips on the plane's radar rapidly approaching them.]

JOHN: -observes this bullshit- aw man...........

MEULIN: -after all her restlessness, she actually ended up falling asleep at last, leaned over with her head in Joey's lap, snoozing soundly. Prr prr.-

JOEY: =She's also sprawled in the chair, one hand on Meu's shoulders and a bit of drool running down her chin. A beautiful sight. Are the passengers able to hear the blips? Or see "blip" scroll across glasses in a lovely marquee?=

[The restfulness is interrupted by a few shrill chimes... it would seem the blips are getting MUCH closer. And much more interested in getting a straight answer out of this vessel.]

ROSE: -She sits up abruptly, waking from some kinda dream where her eyes are open, glancing around the cabin.-

JAMISON: =WHAT THE HOODLY-DOODLY? Is Jamison or Jolene driving either way he's ALERT and peeps at the radar= We seem to be the hot new thing in the clouds!

[ PLEASE IDENTIFY YOUR VESSEL AND ITINERARY]

[also it's jamison if u want it to be]

MEULIN: -She is deaf to the chimes... at least unless something else wakes her up.-

JOEY: =She jumped in her seat at the sudden shrillness of it. The movement may be enough to rouse her.=

JAMISON: =What should he do... should he LIE? He'll lie. Takes on a weird high-pitcher voice= Oh.... hullo!

JAMISON: We're simply a jerky craft delivering jerky from questionable products as anticipated bipbip right right! =Casually flies... how many are there? AIRFIGHTING is much more of a delicate dance than fighting on land and sea... it requires...... surprise=

JOEY: =she's rubbing her face, trying to wake herself faster=

[ There's a good four of them... and it IS a cargo vessel. So it's not exactly handling like a dream...]

JAMISON: =AUGH=

[ There is some mumbling and rustling on the other end.]

MEULIN: -snorks and CHIRPS out of her sleep, ears perked despite nothing to listen to.- WHAT...?

MEULIN: WHAT'S WRONG? -adjusts sunglasses on her face-

[ 'warning shot?' 'yeah dude warning shot' ] [ ' should i do it or--'] [ 'YOU ARE BOTH COWARDS'] [that one was less of a mumbled rustle as it was a scream, as a missile flies directly towards their tail.]

[ ' OH HEY GUESS WHAT ASSHOLES, GUESS WHAT, KOLETA DOESN'T KNOW WHAT A FUCKING WARNING SHOT IS, BIG SURPRISE']

[ the one who evidently named the shot and is ALSO evidently named Koleta shouts something back.]

ROSE: I-- I think you can cut the com channel.

JAMISON: Frigs Koleta! =SWERVES plane=

JOEY: =she puts a finger to her lips, signing "Contact" and pointing to the cockp--= JOEY: =SCREAMS!=

JAMISON: =HE KICKS IT=

[ There is a muffled BOOM as the plane shakes. But the blips are getting closer-- at least there's no obvious major damage.]

MEULIN: ~(=ΦェΦ) !!!

MEULIN: FURK!!!! WHAT WAS THAT???

MEULIN: ARE WE BEING SHOT AT???

JAMISON: We may very well have to make an emergency landing, all!

ROSE: Slightly.

JAMISON: Perhaps if they clip us with another missile we can use debris as a cover while they chase the bum plane on auto-pilot!

ROSE: We're... not too far from a town. I think. -She squints at her phone.- ROSE: That's actually a good plan.

ROSE: We can lay low and secure another transport.

ROSE: And they may possibly believe we're dead.

JAMISON: Right-o!

JAMISON: In which case everyone brace yourselves for a good bailing! =He'll have to pay attention and time this right=

[BOOM. BOOM. And then, BOOM. it sounds like the other three pilots were all showing of that thEY know what a god damned warning shot is.]

ROSE: I--

ROSE: Do we have... parachutes?

ROSE: I haven't been able to do much, since the falls.

JOEY: yes! =flinches at the booms=

MEULIN: -reading as fast as she can- BAILING??

MEULIN: -scrambles out of her seat-

JAMISON: Of course, no good explore leaves without one!

JOEY: they seem a heck of a lot bigger than bullets though!

JUDE: -absolutely has a parachute? you never know when you're going to need one.-

JAMISON: =He's so proud of his kids....=

JOHN: well uh, i can carry a few peeps but a big group might be a target.(edited)

ROSE: Right. Right. Visual cover or something.

JOEY: =She ducked out into the aisle and began throwing open compartments to see if there's anything useful in there? like additional parachutes.=

JOEY: =calls over to jude= we should skydive until we reach a safe distance from the ground to avoid being sitting targets in the air!

JAMISON: I do have a raft which could cover a few souls!

JAMISON: =Hide them behind a raft falling out of a plane.=

[There's some supplies! There's actually a flaregun in there, some walkie-talkies... not that they've needed them, since they have communicators.]

JOHN: oh hey good idea!

JAMISON: =SOMEONE GRAB THOSE WALKIES HE'LL TAKE EM APART AND MAKE EM GUNS AND BOMBS AND GUNBOMBS=

JOEY: =He likely knows this of course, but everyone knowing their game plan is nice= JOEY: =She scooped them into her sylladex anyway.=

JOEY: =brilliant minds=

JAMISON: =Good on ya Joey!! :D =

[BUT NOT THE FLARES JAMISON??]

JOHN: - flips the raft on its side and holds on to it firmly- well anybody without a chute grab on tight!

JAMISON: =YES OF COURSE, they do well for lighting people on fire=(edited)

JOHN: the egbert airline express is ready for take off! :D - salutes-(edited)

ROSE: -Takes a deep breath and grabs onto it.-

ROSE: It cannot possibly be worse than going over niagra falls.

JOHN: smooth rides guaranteed. sorry no peanuts. (disclaimer: smooth ride not actually guaranteed.)

JAMISON: Those with be sure to cover yourselves with the chunks blown clean from our very own flyer!

[ SOME MORE MUFFLED BOOMS. Hitting the aircraft, in fact. And less muffled. And more shaky.]

ROSE: ...Yes. Good timing. -SLAMS THE BUTTON TO OPEN THE CARGO DOOR-

JOHN: nyoom! - SCREAMS THE WORD NYOOM, double checks that everyone is grabbing on and then JUMPS-

JAMISON: =He waits for all to vacate in the smoke and wreckage= GO GO GO!

JOHN: - It's not as difficult to hold on as if they were simply falling. it's more like going down a VERY VERY long and steep slide with the Breeze carrying them- pchoooooo!

JAMISON: =Once they've gone he sets the plane on auto-pilot and dives for the door as well, covering his body with some debris and free falls. Doing spins to appear like normal wreckage.... gotta committ=

[The planes don't seem to pick them up-- all going directly after their cargo plane. They probably see them whooshing overhead, following the trail of smoke and fire.]

JAMISON: =Excellent, he ditches the debris and dives a little closer to the ground before deploying his parachute=

[ Prepare for a ROUGH LANDING. They're near a road-- one that hasn't been upkept all that well, but still a road no less! And a sign of nearby civilization.]

JOHN: - now that the danger seems to be gone he enjoys the rest of the ride, holding onto the raft tightly and at the last second, laughing and flipping the raft over so they land on it-(edited)

MEULIN: -WELL SHIT THEY SURE ARE FALLING. She can almost sort of hear a little bit of this with what tiny hearing she has left, with all the wind whipping in her ears.-

JAMISON: =DOOF! But he doesn't blow out his shins! He's hastily folding the parachute up and shoving it back in his dex, it can be used later!=

[There are MULTIPLE DOOFS.]

ROSE: -kind of wheezes as she looks around...-

ROSE: ...About half a mile south.

ROSE: Is. The town I mentioned.

JOHN: -remains spilled over on his back, looking up at the sky upside down.-

JOHN: great day to be in canada, eh? weather looks fine, eh?

ROSE: John, please.

ROSE: You were practically Canadian already.

ROSE: I've met your father.

JAMISON: Mighty fine weather to be not where we were! =Dusts himself off and looks ahead=

ROSE: I'll agree to that.

ROSE: -She rubs her back, sitting up and looking around. A moose is staring at them, knowing no fear.-

JOEY: =floats to the ground shortly after, Meulin in her arms=

MEULIN: 333333!!! (ノᄌ<。)

MEULIN: -no less than CLINGING to Joey. she glances at the sky to see if their plane is going to spiral down and explode somewhere, since it's likely she won't hear it. She is sort of distracted by that moose, though.- (´⊙ω⊙)

JAMISON: =A MOOSE? WHERE!!=

JAMISON: =Instantly distracted=

http://i.imgur.com/DqDLwfq.gif

JOEY: look at that majestic creature JOEY: :D

JAMISON: =Slides out his knide slowly=

JOLENE: -NO!!-

JAMISON: =WE NEED TO EAT=

JAMISON: (Sssshhhhh.)

MEULIN: -shakes her head, freeing the fur hair.- B33 ARE B33. -crawls off of Joey to prowl...-

JAMISON: =MEULIN gets it!=

JOEY: D: =but it's a moose!=

JOEY: =earth wildlife!!=

JAMISON: =Imagine the honor it'll have to be our meal then..... also if it's running... he's in pursuit=

[THIS HERE EARTH WILDLIFE STARES AT THE APPROACHING MORTALS PEOPLE]

JOEY: =WE MEAN NO HARM OH MOOSE GOD! i mean, meulin and dad proabably do but wow please dont eat us=(edited)

JAMISON: =Hello dinner!=

JAMISON: =He's approaching with fists raised. Giving it a chance to FIGHT for it's life=

JOEY: =s otp=

JAMISON: =HE'S GIVING IT A FAIR SHOT=

MOOSE: -oh it will. IT CHARGES HEAD ON-

JAMISON: Have at thee future meal deal! =He watches this charge and is gonna try to duck under the horn charge to CHOKEHOLD a moose=

MOOSE: -NOT FOND OF THIS ARRANGEMENT!!! IT TRASH-

MEULIN: -SHE'S FLANKING THE MOOSE!!!! and then pounces from behind. EN GUARDE.-

JAMISON: Whoa there! =Is thrashed and HAWs at Meulins pounce=

JOEY: D':

MOOSE: -IS TACKLED TO THE GROUND BY A CATPOUNCE-

MEULIN: -CLINGS TO ITS HAIRY MOOSE BUTTOCKS WITH CLAWS-(edited)

MEULIN: -also, BITES ITS BUTT.-

MOOSE: -WOW????-

MEULIN: - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5GnMR2EB54 –

JAMISON: =They'll try to make this quick mighty beast. Once Jamison gets a good foothold in the snow he's going to try and end it swiftly with his old man muscles=

MOOSE: -DEAD-

JAMISON: =DROPS IT= Well then! Dinner well caught!

JAMISON: :D

ROSE: There was a town nearby.

ROSE: So we could have—

ROSE: Actually, nevermind.

ROSE: Good work.

ROSE: -GOTTA KEEP MORALE UP SOMEHOW-

MEULIN: -HUFF PANT. Her glasses went flying in the midst of this so she misses that too. Retracts claws and offers Jamison a HIGH FIVE.-

JAMISON: =HIGH FIVE!!= :D

MEULIN: - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YMPAH67f4o -

JOEY: =if a baby moose walks out of that forest she's gonna cry=

MEULIN: .... -veal-

JOEY: =NOOOOOOO!=

[gulescamisade]

New York:  Day 4, Biggest Bite Yet

[ Memories are a bit hazy, fading in and out of consciousness for quite a while. There is the cold feeling of machines, restraints being applied, clothes being replace and sylladexes outright ransacked and stolen. Scans, conveyor belts, shuffling movement-- and being removed from a procession of humans, loaded up onto a truck, and driven elsewhere. ]

[ The world fades for just a bit longer, in the darkness of a chilled trailer... ]

--------------------

[🎵 We're coming out to get you. We're oh so glad we met you. We're eating you for profit. There is no way to stop it. There is no way to stop it... 🎵]

[ There's a memory of... makeup. A few touchups. Makeup brushes and some foundation work... to hide some of the bruises and clean off all that seasoning. And clothes being changed? Everything has gotten a lot brighter, as though a dozen spotlights were shining down on them. In truth, the number is a lot more excessive than that, but it's more than enough to begin rousing the group from their chemical slumber. ]

[ Each of them, to the last, appears to be wearing a new shirt. One that looks like this -- http://www.bowlingconcepts.com/media/content/flame-shirt.jpg

-- but with text scrawled across the chest, "BIGGEST BITE YET" ]

???: -There's the distinct sound of cooking utensils, and talking- Alright, so we're just gonna take some of this beer braised pepperoni and cover it with this sriracha aioli.

?¿?: -CHOMP- Oh yeah that's on the money right there.

[ There's a pretty significant audience out there, in what looks to be a stadium mashed with a kitchen set-- an enormous brick oven pouring heat onto their backs, and a kitchen area stocked with EVERY KIND OF FANCY APPLIANCE AND FOOD PREPARATION TOOL KNOWN TO MAN OR GOD. Creme brulee blowtorches. Beaters. Mixers. Blenders. Basters. Tenderizing mallets. An assortment of knives that would put any other to shame. the sound of rushing can be heard, muted but there. ]

[ Something sizzles on a grill. Something smells... delicious. ]

¿¿¿: After the commercial break we'll be getting into our main course, live from Niagara falls. Seeya then, folks!

MEULIN: ...R.... RR.... MEULIN: -The distinct haze of it all is enough to set in an instinctual panic in her before she even knows what's going on, and she's trying to struggle -- not this again.-

ROSE: -she's AWAKE AS WELL. Eyes blinked open. Not stingy anymore, at least...-

ROSE: -She instinctively tries to move, but. Right. The restraints.-

JOHN: -UughRRHRHuuooooooogh.-

JAMISON: =Someone PUT A SHIRT ON HIM. How DARE they. He doesn't lift from the haze he JUMPS....as much as the restraints let him. Looks around=

JUDE: -he's having a time guys, let me tell you-

[ ALSO: their arms are held behind their back in some kind of tight, cookware-safe stretchy material! They're also wrapped up by the ankles. ]

JOLENE: -WIGGLES- what is this?????????

JOHN: a weird, kinky nightmare.

JOHN: -Flexes. Nope. No good.-(edited)

ROSE: Please. Please do not mention kinks. ROSE: I know it's inevitable but I want to wash the very notion from my mind, now and forever.

JOHN: -crap, this is actually real. HOW DEPRESSING.-

DUALSCAR: =Exhales sharply through the gill slits on his neck, all this spice bullshit have made them pretty sore. His voice is raspy as he swears under his breath in ancient Alternian. Time to start flexing and pulling against the restraints.=

MEULIN: DAVE--!? -The name comes out before she's quite cognizant of it, and that alone is enough to jolt her fully conscious, terrified and confused, eyes darting around. She can't hear anyone. She doesn't know what's happening.-

JAMISON: =HOW STRETCHY? Can he stretch them a lot?=

¿?¿: Hey! Would you look at that. It's about time y'all woke up. -Walking over to them is someone, resembling a man. No, he lost his humanity long ago. The frosted tips, the goatee, the Oakley sunglasses. The JORTS!-

KANKRI: -When he wakes up the first thing he is noticing is the restraints and that is terrifying its clear no amount of pulling is going to free them but he sure is trying.-(edited)

MEULIN: -Oh human Jegus.-

ROSE: -she sees the jorts first...-

ROSE: Oh.

JAMISON: Uncuff me at once you well-dressed FIEND!

JOHN: -well dressed? seriously?-

KANKRI: (...Well dressed?)

JAMISON: =He, too, is a fan of shorts=

KANKRI: -And he is a fan of tall pants, that doesnt mean its in good taste.-

JOHN: -STOP COMPLIMENTING THE ENEMY!!!-

JAMISON: =He's an honest man, okay?=

GUY: What's cookin good lookins? Well, rhetorical question. The answer is you! Soon enough at least. I'd suggest not struggling too much. Lactic acid really ruins your flavor, and I know the audience can't wait to get a taste of you guys.

DUALSCAR: =Is the material stretchy enough to let him flex strain pull it towards his mouth?=

KANKRI: -UM.-

MEULIN: -Okay, she remembers now that Dave isn't here, and also... Shit. She can't read these lips well enough, especially while she's panicking.- SIR????? -looks around for Dualscar. SHE NEEDS ORDERS SOMEHOW.-

[ It's fairly stretchy! But it was built with you BEEFCAKES in mind. He can't get it too far, and his arms are behind his back right now, making that difficult. ]

KANKRI: Excuse me 6ut in s9me senses w9uldn't that 6e c9nsidered canni6alism???? -Can he reason with this man?-

[ He COULD potentially try to wrangle it under his legs, but that would be a difficult balancing act with how his ankles are bound, too. ]

JAMISON: =Can he and Dualscar and Meulin GNAW each other free?=

[ Also, Fieri would be there to see him try it. ]

JAMISON: =Oh..... how close is he?=

ROSE: In--

JOHN: so that's what this is, huh? you've just been eating people in front of a live studio audience?

JOHN: that's...that's really unamerican of you!

GUY: -I'm right here my guy-

ROSE: -SIGHS REALLY LOUDLY- ROSE: In every sense it is cannibalism, yes.

ROSE: You weren't mislead on that matter, don't worry.

KANKRI: -turns at john.- ...I think it is m9re then "unamerican." J9hn.(edited)

JAMISON: =WELL IN THAT CASE, he crouches then SPROINGS to BUTT Guy in the face=

GUY: -Leans back-

JAMISON: =DOOF. Right on the ground=

GUY: You're gonna cause some indigestion, I can tell! -Hoists Jamison back up to everyone-

ROSE: How is this going to go down, exactly? Do we have last rites? Last requests? How long is a commercial break for?

JAMISON: =Can he headbutt him like this?=

DUALSCAR: =Hears the "SIR" and flares his fins while struggling with these restraints.= DON'T PANIC. WWORST YE COULD DO.

JOHN: hey you sons of bitches, if you're so hungry why don't you eat my entire ass! -YELLLS-

JAMISON: =HE'S READY TO BRAWL=

KANKRI: -John please.-

KANKRI: That is n9t an ideal 9ffer t9 pr9p9se when he seems t9 already 6e c9ntemplating it.

JOHN: -HE'S JUST...SO MAD. It's making him be less fearful than he should be of his impending doom-

JAMISON: Well this meat is going to be rather hard to CHEW.

GUY: That's a real good idea. Maria? Can you prep the bucktoothed one? I'm thinking a buffalo picante rump roast is on the menu. -Strokes his goatee-(edited)

MEULIN: -She can't hear him, but she does see his mouth moving, at least, and she assumes it's something reassuring. Or so she's going to let herself believe.-

MEULIN: -Think, Meu... Wait, she does have a tail. It's not exactly prehensile, but it's something. She tries to squirm it around to see if it's bound somehow.-

[ The tail is not bound!! It is free to wiggle. ]

JAMISON: =This buck-toothed one?=

GUY: Anyway here's what we're gonna do. Her Imperious Deliciousness is viewing this at headquarters. Now I was thinking: What would be more baller and mirthful than making a couple dishes dedicated to her, made from those that oppose her? Brilliant right? I know. So you guys are my special guests on this episode of big bite. The American people are gonna get some real honest to goodness looks at just how delicious population control can be. Hey! It's a lot more morale boosting than rounding everyone up in dark carnival concentration camps!

ROSE: I defy myself to find this remotely surprising in the least.

MEULIN: -Heck. Okay. Okay. She's going to try to wriggle her tail up her back and then force it down into the middle of these weird plasticy? rubbery? cuffs, thinking that maybe if she applies enough force down the middle it'll slide off her hands or... something.-

JAMISON: Tell Fish-Hitler after we're done baking YOUR cake we're coming to TENDERIZE her rumproast!

[ It might take some doing, meulin. And a little bit of time-- HARD TO TELL if it's going to be quick enough. ]

KANKRI: -Phrasing.-

GUY: That's the ticket! Say that to the camera, we're coming back in three, two, -points at Jamison and walks back over to his set-

JOHN: -RRRRRRGH. He wants to do something to help. He NEEDS to do something. But he's coming up short on ideas.-

KANKRI: If c9nsuming quantities 9f p9pulati9n is h9w y9u intend t9 c9ntr9l the 699ming num6ers I am s9rry t9 inf9rm y9u that n9 9nly is that h9rri6ly unethical 6ut is als9 extremely unhygenic, imm9ral, and thr9ugh 9ut m9st extensive reaches 9f the universe, Ilegal!

MEULIN: -AARRRGGH HECK. Why is he POINTING AT JAMISON??? She's trying not to look too strained as she works her tail at these cuffs, because what else is there to do while she's trapped and confused?-

JAMISON: =He keeps a RAZOR BLADE taped to the roof of his mouth..... did they find that?= I'm not trick pony you be-shaded fraudulent feast-maker!

GUY: Welcome back to Guy's big bite! Live! From Niagara Falls. I've got some special guests here with me that are gonna help me with our main course. Say hi to members of the Unbreakable Union! -Camera pans to them-

DUALSCAR: =Hisses through his teeth. He will say something to the camera alright.= ALWWAYS KNEWW YE WWERE A FREAKY ONE NEEHUI, BUT I'M DRAWWIN' THE FUCKIN' LINE AT PUBLIC VVORE.

KANKRI: -Please refrain from kink shaming, Dualscar.-

[ALL of your cavities were invaded, my dudes. No items, no weapons, final destination.]

JAMISON: =FIENDS=

[ YEAH IT'S PRETTY LEGIT ]

ROSE: -She glances around, trying to find something for her eyes to land on-- tilting her head a little bit and brushing up against one of the draws.-

DUALSCAR: THIS IS WWHAT YER SPENDIN' YER TIME ON? HM? INSTEAD A LORDIN' OVVER A PEOPLE YE HAVVE YER SERVVANTS PUT ON SOME DISPLAY YE CAN FIND ANYWWHERE IN THE DEEP WWEB? YER PRIORITIES ALWWAYS WWERE TWWISTED.

ROSE: -She takes a deep breath, trying to hide it as best as she can as she attempts to brush it open with the gentlest, tiniest psionics.-

JAMISON: =Triesto grab the flexy material between his wrists in his hands. He's going to try wrapping it around and around while maintaining leverage. COMEON FINGERS YOU CAN DO IT=

GUY: -Laughs as the camera pans back to him- You see that? Pre spiced, ladies and gents. So for the first course we're gonna make a hot and sour fin noodle bowl that is to DIE for.

[ Meulin is finding a fair amount of difficulty-- it's given her wrists some more wiggle room, but it's actually hurting her tail a bit to do it. It's some sturdy stuff, only the best for REBELS. ]

[ BRIEFLY, JAMISON'S FINGERS TANGLE by virtue of stretchy shit. IT KIND OF HURTS ALSO. OW. ]

[Slowly, ever so slightly. The drawer opens.]

JAMISON: =HE KNOWS PAIN, FLEXES THROUGH IT. HNNGNG=

JOHN: -Ugh. So many lights in his eyes. He can barely see anything. He tries to access his sylladex, but of course there's nothing in it. But.....they couldn't confiscate everything, could they? He doesn't need his hands to use his wind powers. He focuses on that wall of knives as best he can....and then sends a blast of wind at it, with all he's got. He's hoping to cause a keruffle, at the very least.-

ROSE: -just... ever so slowly... pulling it off its tracks... hovering it towards her. The camera is on Guy and not THEM, exclusively, so they probably don't see the look of intense concentration on her face. She hopes.-

JOHN: -FWOOOOOOSH-

DUALSCAR: OH, THAT RIGHT? ARE YE GOIN' TA USE BOTH SALT AN' PEPPER THIS TIME AROUND? KNOWW WWHAT KINDA BLANDASS SHIT YER LOT CONSIDERS TA BE EDIBLE. =White people, damn... He's seen the memes he knows.=

[ That is a BURST OF STRENGTH from Jamison and a BURST OF WIND from John. Both seem to have their intended effects-- The knives go flying through the air, though in no particular direction, scattering around the set in a distinctive clamour as Jamison feels... SOMETHING beginning to tear. Slowly, but surely. IT'S WORKING. ]

JAMISON: Cripes alive that's savagery! =Burn? BURN! ALSO AAAAA=

[ Meulin may be able to get a hand out at this point as well. ]

MEULIN: -Ah!!! One hand is enough, and in the midst of the chaos, she's trying to use a combination of her claws and strength to get at the restraints on her ankles.-

KANKRI: -You know normally he would say something about all of Dualscars aggressive bullying of this stage persona villain, HOWEVER, its kind of well deserved.-

ROSE: -She pulls something from the drawer, but she can't see it, sliding it with a psionic push to the side and lightly elbowing Kankri.-

KANKRI: -Why is he being elbowed, he quickly turns his head to the side to look at her.-

JOHN: -After the spray of knives, he doesn't see why he should stop causing a general ruckus.Now he focuses on the kitchen countertop.-ROSE: -gestures with her head backwards, as she begins... grinding something metal against her ankles. Well, hopefully it'll cut...-

JOHN: -SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH-

JAMISON: =His fingers are probably numb at this point but he's trying his bestest to keep tugs=

KANKRI: -Angles himeself the best he can to see what she is trying to point out and OH, oh yes this is good.-

GUY: Looks like we might have to use a little extra vineg--Oh for pete's sakes! We're doing a show here. -Look at this mess of utensils.-

GUY: Guards!

[ There is a sudden SNAP. two of them, actually. Both meulin AND jamison!!! ]

JAMISON: =HE CAN PUNCH, HE CAN FIGHT=

MEULIN: -Well, there's probably no way to hide what she's doing now, so the moment anyone looks her way, she SPRINGS with a hiss!!! She might not be able to do much to many people, but she can at least be distracting enough that the others might be able to get out.-

JOHN: -Yep. Now seems like a good time. HE RISES. He hopes the camera is getting this.

JOHN: -He's still tied up but floating.-

[You really did it now. I can't believe you've done this. There's the distinct sound of imperial drones marching towards them. The windy one is priority]

JAMISON: =Gonna try to grab one of those wayward knives for his feet, also to cut free his friendos and his BABIES FOR PETES SAKE=

JOHN: -Oh hey look it's Guy! He takes a deep breath, his chest expanding like a studio ghibli movie. and then. FWOOOOOOOOOOSH. He lets it out. It's like a deadly burp.-

MEULIN: -SPRINGS onto a countertop, then another. She's probably sending cutlery and sauces flying everywhere, but she didn't parkour all these months for NOTHIN'.-

KANKRI: -All this action is the perfect time to move and with all these knives about hes grabbing the closest one which happens to be right behind him, thank you rose, a little paring knife. And hes using it to try and cut away the restraints around his wrists.-

JOHN: -He would take a weapon but...he's still tied up. Surprising himself with how much trouble he can get into with zero arms and legs-

DUALSCAR: =Guffaws.= CAN'T EVVEN KEEP YER SNACKS IN CHECK! BLOODY HELL, BUT YE ARE PATHETIC! =He takes one of the utensils being passed around behind people's backs, getting something that feels like a bottle. Is it glass or plastic? This Da’bomb Ground Zero Carolina Reaper Hot Sauce?=

KANKRI: -Hes proud of you John, this is the one time he fully endorses him to wreck shit up.-JOLENE: -wiggles her hands around until she feels a utensil of some kind?? she doesn't really NEED to see, she's gotten out of stickier situations with less. stabs what happens to be a CARROT PEELER at the restraints on her ankles. HHHRRNG. this might take a while...-

[Guy mostly looks unamused and disgusted with Johns latest display. A drone grabs him and restrains him. Another is going for this cat on the counter. NO KITTY THAT'S A BAD KITTY]

KANKRI: -Hacks harder at his wrist restraints when John is grabbed.-

JOHN: - He's not going down without a fight. He shoots up, and then back down, trying to get this drone off his back-(edited)

DUALSCAR: =This might be glass. And in that case, shards would be more useful right now in getting out of these restraints. He braces himself and tries to fucking smash this bottle against his own back to shatter it. If he can he will get a shard and furiously try to slice through the restraints.=

JAMISON: =Are his feet free with the knife business? If so he's gonna DECK the top off a drone=

[Kankri, you better work bitch. This Drone is not letting John go. It's a smaller drone, the runt of imperial drones really. It starts bonking him on the head. Cut it out! Dualscar is successful in breaking the glass but also cutting his hands with broken glass shards. There's hot sauce in everything YOWCH. It's da bomb, dawg. Jamison now has the freest feet in the land, drone dome goes SPINNING. Clank clunk!]

JOHN: -is BONK'D. Wow that really fuckign hurts. He screams-

JOHN: -IT'S AN ANGRY SCREAM but also a scream scream.-

JOHN: aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa -wow john can really scream-

KANKRI: -HES WORKING AS HARD AS HE CAN. How long does it take to cut these restraints anyways?-

DUALSCAR: =Inhales through his teeth because jesus christ that smarts something fierce, earfins flaring and twitching backwards. Regardless he got what he wanted, and he's immediately going at it to slice thru these restraints.=

JAMISON: =How heavy is it? He's going to THROW this drone at another one and RIP his shirt off= COME AT ME YOU MECHANICAL FISHTLER DRONES!!

[ Speaking of people getting FREE, it's just like shucking an oyster. With a carrot peeler. Which is to say DIFFICULT, SURE, but Jolene can feel some significant progress going forward-- a slow tear and then a SNAP. At the sound of John's shouting Rose, too, pulls herself up, hefting what appears to be a... potato masher. LESS THAN IMPOSING. She flings it psionically at one of the drones. ]

ROSE: Damn it.

[ Kankri's getting AWFULLY CLOSE. Just so close there sport!!! HANG IN THERE. ]

MEULIN: -She's trying to scramble up what is presumably the upper cabinet of this false built-in TV kitchen area. PARKOUR KITTY RESUMES. YOU'LL NEVER CATCH HER, COPPERS!!! Maybe.-

KANKRI: -Hes awfully discouraged by the fact that someone with a carrot peeler beat his tiny knife, but he isnt stopping!! Aggressively hacks and cuts at his restraints with even more determination.-

[ The drone after her seems to have gone into a full on, bull-style charge in her direction. PCHOOOO. ]

[ Meulin, that is. ]

[THE MEULIN DRONE. ]

MEULIN: -FURK-

MEULIN: -PUFFS UP and tries to jump high enough to bypass the bull charge and... land on its back??? Shit.-

[Drones are heavy as fuck, Jamison. You might throw your back out trying to lift this]

[ There is a SNAP. The elastic flings all the way across the stadium. ]

[ KANKRI'S ELASTIC]

[I GOTTA REMEMBER TO SAY WHOSE THINGS THEY ARE WHEN THEY HAPPEN ]

GUY: Oh you've got to be kidding me. -Flings a coconut dream pie at the cat-

JAMISON: =FINE THEN, here comes the knife he's going to cut the head off=

JOLENE: -FREEDOM. she wiggles to bring her arms in front of her and then hops onto her feet. a spry old lady with only one real leg...-

JOLENE: -HRRK. pulls the restraints on her wrists apart until she can get out of them. SUCCESS. she's brandishing this carrot peeler like it's the most lethal weapon on the planet. AND IN HER HANDS IT JUST MIGHT BE.-

KANKRI: -VICTORY. For his hands anyways... can he detach the ones around his ankles with his newly freed hands or is he going to have to cut those too.-

JOHN: -Since this drone isn't letting go, John is going to try to send another blast of wind their way. He can't be very precise with it, but it's powerful.-

GUY: Useless drones. -Whistles loudly and there's more shuffling. And the smell of grease-

[ IT'S LIKE SHUCKING AN OYSTER. AN IMPERIAL DRONE OYSTER. ]

JOLENE: -also flips double birds at the nearest camera. THIS ONE'S FOR YOU, CONDY!!!-

ROSE: - She sniffs the air, and then grimaces.-

JAMISON: =GRABS a toaster to try and program this drone with a toaster controller now that he has at the wires?=

MEULIN: -SPLAT. Delicious... but also this really fucks up the rest of her senses she has available. TIME TO CLING FOR DEAR LIFE TO THIS DRONE.-

ZOMBIES: [We're coming out to get you. We're oh so glad we met you. We're eating you for profit. There is no way to stop it!]

ROSE: -She pulls open a few more draws, now that she's up, scattering them and thier contents on the floor-- until she stops, and grabs a pair of skewers.-

ROSE: I am beginning to think. We really do not have the stretegic advantage here.

DUALSCAR: =Has he sliced through these elastics yet? He SLICE WITH ALL HIS MIGHT.=

[ OH YES HE HAS ]

MEULIN: -YOWLS, muffled by cream pie.-

[ DANG SORRY ]

[ FORGOT ABOUT THAT ONE ]

[Delicious fried zombies shuffle down from the audience]

[ There is a yowl and a sudden CRASH as the drone smashes into the wall of the set, with Meulin on its back. ]

MEULIN: -Fucking DOOF.-

KANKRI: -Eugh not more zombies, hes cutting through the rest of the elastic around his ankles and quickly getting up onto his feet. Hes up and has the knife held tightly in his hand! Although he doesnt want to use this, hes against committing acts of violence.-

DUALSCAR: =With his hands free he now has to slice through the ones on his legs. He must BE FREE.=

KANKRI: I really hate t9 agree with y9u 9n such a d9wnside driven t9pic, R9se. 6ut I think y9u are indeed c9rrect.

[Be free you glorious maymay]

ROSE: -She takes a dramatic leap up onto a kitchen counter, holding the tongs aloft as they crackle with energy, a pair of bolts flickering through the air. Her aim is poor with these clumsy things not made for her powers, but the violet bolts of electricity are flying distinctly fieri-wards.-

DUALSCAR: =He is FREE he can FIGHT. The drones are going everywhere, but where is the Guyster? He has a glass shard with his name on it. The name of his eyeball, more specifically.=

JOHN: -IS THIS DRONE STILL ON HIM?-

MEULIN: -She's probably going down in a puff of plastery powder, too disoriented at the moment to wipe pie off of her face until the shock subsides.-

[The drone goes flying because of wind. Hurtling directly at Dualscar.]

JOLENE: -works on freeing her screaming nephew and then probably slaps him around a little to get him to focus-

JUDE: -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA oh ok-

[ She is going down... and through. The wall. There is suddenly a big hole and splintered wood where the cabinet used to be. ]

JOHN: ohh....sorry!

JOHN: -yells-

JOHN: -also he flops on the floor. like a dead fish- uhhh...CAN SOMEONE HELP UNTIE ME?

KANKRI: -He is rushing over to John now that he is on the ground.- I can certainly d9 as much!

JOHN: my hero~

JOHN: (hehehehhe)

GUY: -Ducks Roses bolt and holds up a frying pan to deflect another.- That's my cue! -Exit, stage left-

MEULIN: -Hello darkness my old friend....-

KANKRI: -Brandishes his tiny knife to cut away the rubber around John's ankles.- Y9u may make hum9rus and witty j9kes 9nce we are 9ut 9f this mess.

ROSE: No! God damn it, get back here, coward!

JOHN: -holds up his wrists next- aahhh! -strains his neck- aaww he's getting away!!!

JAMISON: =Drone: HACKED. He's HAMMERING the lever and turning the dials it's gonna wail on those zombies=

JOHN: -IMPATIENTLY WATCHES THIS-

[ The drone with a toaster sticking out of its back is twitching and convolsing and SPARKING, flinging its limbs at zomblers and mashing them into body parts. ]

DUALSCAR: =He will drop and roll out of the hurtling drone's path. Once it has crashed into a wall or ground or wherever else he is going to jump at it to shard some eyeholes.=

DUALSCAR: =Gotta fuck up those circuits.=

ROSE: -She jumps off the coutner and ATTEMPTS TO CHASE HIM DOWN- We can't stay here fighting these fucking things anyways!

[Zombies start to swarm the group. Hear them hurgling while getting destroyed by a hacked drone. Their crispy appendages reach for any flesh]

KANKRI: -Sorry his knife is terrible, but hes cutting as fast as he can!! Feet are free time for the wrists.- I kn9w it might 6e difficult 6ut try t9 remain very still while I wield this sharp 96ject. -Wrists take half the time and soon John is free!-

JOHN: you're the best, buddy! -he's gonna hoist kankri under his arm and fly to pick up anybody else that's lagging behind. that's why he has two arms!-(edited)

JOHN: ally oop! let's go!

KANKRI: -HRGK he is HOISTED.-

KANKRI: -He never fully enjoys being flown around by john but this is absolutely an exception to the rule.-

JAMISON: Oh... RIGHT-O!

JAMISON: =RIPS the toaster out of the drone and chases down GUY=

JOHN: -eenie meenie miney...JUDE! he divebombs. you're coming with him!-

KANKRI: -Hello fellow wimp.-

JUDE: -THIS IS FINE-

[Don't forget the cat. Someone help her.]

MEULIN: -Okay so riding a drone into a wall didn't turn out super great. She's got boards piled on her and there's definitely some olive leaking. Super disoriented, and having a hard time breathing through pie. Maybe even choking on pie??-

KANKRI: -Looking down at all the fried living dead- (J9hn I have c9me t9 the c9nclusi9n that I am n9t a full fledged fan 9f y9ur h9mew9rld in the state 9f g9vernment and envir9ntment that it is.)(edited)

JOHN: -Uh oh. He's gotta go back for Meulin-

JOLENE: -SHE'S ALSO HERE TO SAVE PEOPLE-

DUALSCAR: =Was he able to get at the drone, or was it smashed up already?=

JOHN: -OK COOL. HE TRUSTS JOLENE. NYOOMS THE FUCK OUTTA THERE.-

[The drone is sufficiently fucked up. Look into anger management maybe, Dualscar???]

JOLENE: -punching and stabbing through zombies, paving a way for the rest of them traveling on foot. is everybody following?? she looks around to make sure nobody is left behind-

DUALSCAR: =Never??? His anger fuels him. He draws his improv weapon away from the drone and hops off of it. If someone is left behind while Jolene carves a path he is gonna hoist them onto his bara fish shoulders.=

MEULIN: -THAT WOULD BE HER. She got pretty fucked up.-

[ POOR KITTY ]

[ oh dang scene transition is a GO ]

[She need some milk]

[ There are some sirens howling. Turns out, being humiliated in front of the empress was a PRETTY BIG DEAL, and that huge, ominous blimp is the first thing they see as they bust out the exit on stage left-- onto a massive bridge across NIAGRA FALLS. They are majestic, beautiful, awe-inspiring... and blood red. Filled with little... bits, here and there. The blinding lights shine on them as something buzzes overhead-- more drones. And what appears to be fighters of some kind. John would begin to recognize them immediately-- they were, after all, deployed on Europa. ]

JOHN: -Casually can't breath. There is no oxygen going to his brain. He keeps flying anyway.-

JOHN: -In fact, he flies faster. This terrifies him.-

KANKRI: -John no. Are you alright.-

ROSE: -She's become fairly single-minded. Directly after Fieri and no one else, well ahead of the rest of the group, crackling and flying through the air.-

JOHN: -At first he was going after Fieri, but now that he realizes how surrounded they are, he's panicking andj ust wants to get everyone to safety, scanning for a place to hide. His flying is a little off kilter because of how fast he's going and he's holding on to Kankri and Jude very tight.-

MEULIN: -She's regaining her senses bit by bit, clinging onto Dualscar and bleeding out from she's not even sure where until she's aware of a distinct pain in her shoulder, hissing and burbling through whipped cream.-

KANKRI: -Hes clinging to John just as tight, looking between him and the bloody red water beneath them.- I kn9w this may 6e a f99lish questi9n right n9w c9nsidering what has happened and currently is happening, 6ut are y9u 9kay, J9hn? -He has a concern.-

[ The question is punctuated by an explosion. They're going FAST, but it was still too close for comfort, as one of the fighters zips by just overhead. ]

KANKRI: -WELP NOPE PROBABLY NOT OKAY.-

GUY: -Play time is over! A red and black hedgehog would agree. Guy has been made a mockery, but this failure its small compared to the feats he's accomplished for the empire. Standing atop the bridge he awaits Rose. She's coming in hot, but not as hot as these spicy beef wellington pizza pockets he's flinging at her!-

DUALSCAR: =Rushin' after the group with a injured cat and a passed out clown. The spices must have really hecked up Gamzee's systems somehow. His spiced hands feel numb, but he's here to FIGHT... But he has to hold onto these noodles. The gurgling is a unwelcome familiarity. He has to bind the injury. Are they still being chased?=

JOHN: -BOOM. Oh man, he's sweating and he can't help but cry out a little when the explosions sounds too close, sure in that moment they're going to be vaporized. But when he can still feel his fingers clenching around them, he puts all his focus and energy in to sweeping away, occasionally glancing up at the fighters to try and stay out of their trajectory as best he can. Sorry Kankri, he couldn't talk right now if he wanted to.-

[The zomblers are no match for everyone's tremendous speed. They shuffle, way off in the distance]

ROSE: -SHE CAN SMELL THE CHEESE FROM HERE...-

ROSE: -She has to skid against the ground, flinging each pocket away from striking her directly in the face with a dramatic twist of her wrists, psionics flaring as she conjures an electric tendril in the air and attempts to slam it down on him.-

JOLENE: -YEAH!! EAT OUR DUST ZOMBIES!!-

DUALSCAR: =Puts Gamzee down on the ground.=

GAMZEE: =Wet noodle hitting the ground SFX.=

DUALSCAR: =Carefully sets Meulin down to wipe cream out of her face and also locate that injury.= HEY. STAY WWITH ME NOWW.

JOLENE: -keeps DS covered and will give him a heads up if anything comes swoocing at them-

DUALSCAR: =Thank you Jolene. Swoocing is bad. [SIC].=

MEULIN: -Licks her lips, coughing intermittently and ears pinned back as she tries to focus her gaze on him, wincing and tearing up.- I'M. I'M OKAY. -Seems like most of her injuries are superficial, such as the pretty bad gash on her shoulder, but if he looks, it seems like a pretty big bruise is forming on her back. Might be some bruised or broken ribs.-

GUY: -He proves to be an agile motherfucker. Dodge rolling away and producing a minigun that fires lil smokies and pizza rolls. TAKE THIS-

ROSE: Why on earth would ANY HUMAN BEING CREATE THAT?

MEULIN: HEY. I USED MY TAIL TO GET OUT. THAT WAS PURRETTY COOL, RIGHT?

JAMISON: =FIGHTING THINGS!!=

ROSE: -PELTED BY PIZZA ROLLS. She's gotta stay light on her feet, too, light as in IN THE AIR as she strafes around this rapid fire. it's just like in DOOM-

JOHN: -He is still desperately weaving, trying to get away from those fighters. This is def. in the top two the most terrifying experiences of his life :') -

DUALSCAR: =It doesn't appear like she is going to black out, so that's good. Though it might just be adrenaline.= 'TWWAS PRETTY EXTRAORDINARY, HOWWEVVER THAT AIN'T SOMETHIN' NEWW WWITH YE, NOWW IS IT? =Talks while tearing his god awful fire pattern shirt up into shreds for improv bandages.=

GAMZEE: =Stirring on the ground, fingers twitching and ears moving at all the noise.=

GUY: Would you look at that! She slices, she dices, she can fly? Now that's some amazing food. -The gun morphs into a bazooka and KABOOM, Cajun spiced turkey flying at Rose-

KANKRI: -Oh same John.-

JAMISON: =Is there something he can CHUCK... wait...... is this troll fellow okay? Ceases his yelling to look at him=

ROSE: I would call nothing you cook edible in any sense of the word. -ENERGY BLAST AT THE TURKEY. It outright explodes.-

MEULIN: I CAN'T READ THAT-- -Huffs, coughing once.- THAT MUCH, SO I'M GOING TO PURRTEND YOU SAID "YES, IT WAS FURRY COOL. CONCATULATIONS"...

MEULIN: THANKS.

[ There isn't much to chuck, Jamison, but John is MOSTLY distracting them. ALBEIT IN A TERRIFIED WAY. There's a service entry of some kind-- all the way on the other side of the bridge, though. Not too far from where Rose and Fieri are fighting, anyways. ]

GUY: Everything I make is a deliciosity of moneyriffic proportions. -BOOM A sizzling shrimp fajita platter bathed in ranch-

JAMISON: =Good, he'll throw the SERvICE ENTRY=

GUY: Your efforts to thwart forward progress of population control and cannibalism is noted and appreciated, but down right doomed to fail!

DUALSCAR: =Tilts her upward to start applying the strips. He binds them hard to stop her bleeding. Nods.= YER MOST WWELCOME.

GAMZEE: =Very slowly moves his hands underneath himself to push himself off of the ground. He's full of spice and confusion. He spots Meulin being treated-- bleeding, then around the area at all the fighting. Back to Meulin. His eyes are widening, shocked and confused-- but more than anything; angry.=

ROSE: I WOULD FAR PREFER EATING AT ARBY'S TO CONSUMING THIS. -It's time to get in for some good old fashioned CLOSE COMBAT. If she can't blast him from afar she'll stab him with his own MEAT SKEWERS-

JOHN: aaAAAAAAh -STOP SHOOTING AT ME YOU GIGANTIC SHIT HEELS!!!

[ NO. THEY DON'T LIKE YOU JOHN ]

KANKRI: -WELL HE DOESNT LIKE THEM EITHER.-

JOHN: -he knows it won't do any good but it's at least therapeutic to scream. He's still yelling his head off as he goes for a feint and then NYOOMS, trying to make it to the other side of the bridge in hopes that there will be cover of some sort-

MEULIN: -The nod is good enough; she smiles wide, eyes happy little slits, and it takes her a few beats too long to notice Gamzee nearby, head lolling his direction and her breaths shallow.- GAM-- GAMZ33?

GUY: I can't fault you for that. They've got THE MEATS. Now serving people meats! -This fight is now up close and personal. He brandishes his deadly pineapple club, taking a huge bite before whacking at Rose.-

[ There IS a door, even if it appears to be locked. A roof would definitely provide some kind of cover! ]

JAMISON: Oh! Good you're alright! =At Gamzee= Now we have to do something about THOSE flyers.

JAMISON: I'll start throwing tiles from that roof!

JOHN: -haha...there's a door. JOHN IS SHOVING BOTH HIS FEET INTO IT AS HE FLIES AT HIGH SPEEDS-

JAMISON: =Oh.=

ROSE: -HRK. She is struck in the side and tumbles pretty hard against the ground, wheezing, but manages to make it a roll and thrust both electric stabs at his side.-

JAMISON: =OH=

KANKRI: -This is so reckless, John.-

JAMISON: =GETS A RUNNING START, if the flyers get low enough he'll JUMP ON ONE=

[ B B B B B BUSTIN MAKES ME FEEL GOOD ] [ His feet slam into the door and it bashes open in a tremendous display of MANGRIT. It looks... familiar. Flashes of memory from being drugged-- THIS is the meat processing plant. ]

JOHN: -Oh ew. But he's going to collapse to the floor for a second as he has a mini heart attack.-

[ This troll's eyes go wide. Not you. ANYONE BUT YOU. It's the exact same troll from that truck who Jamison fired at potato gun at, flying a ship.]

JOLENE: oh boy....... -there goes jamison, but she takes note of john and friends. gestures at dualscar, gamzee and meulin to follow her as she follows HIM.- let's keep moving!!!! -before they get exploded-

SOME GUY: A|H|H|H|H|H|H|H|H|H|H|H|!!!!!!!!!!!

JAMISON: HELLO OLD FIEND!!! =PUNCHES THE WINDSHIELD= HAWHAWHAW MOVE OVER!

KANKRI: -His feet hit the ground as John collapses, and hes lighting quick to try and support him to keep John from going all the way to the ground.-

JOHN: -WHEEZES...WHEEZES...WHEEZES...0

JOHN: okay! we're

JOHN: going!

-CHEERFUL YELL. Off he goes. -

KANKRI: -HHHHHHs about John's current state of being.-

JUDE: -flops onto the floor... then scrambles up again on lanky legs, looking around wildly-

JOHN: -at least they're not being exploded yet.-

KANKRI: J9hn please wait f9r just 9ne m9ment, I think we can aff9rd as much f9r right n9w, are y9u certain y9u are alright??

GUY: Haha. Pineapple club. Works every --AAAAUUUUUGH!!! -The skewers find their mark sizzling the air around them AND Guy. The pungent, but distinct, smell of mango habanero chicken wings fills Roses nostrils. Guy stumbles, but he grabs ROSES face, applying a disgusting amount of pressure.-

JOHN: YES!!! -he didn't mean to be so loud. his response to stress is shouting.-

[ He shrieks as this crazy old man bashes through his window. THIS IS THE WORST. THIS WEEK IS THE WORST WEEK EVER.]

KANKRI: -Marge simpson noises. Fine but hes going to help you keep standing less john keels over again.-

JAMISON: =RRRRRRRRRRRATTLES HIM, IT'S FIGHT NIGHT=

JOHN: -Now that he's got himself going he's just briskly jogging. He doesn't know where they're going anymore he's just GOING.-

ROSE: -HISSES AS SHE FEELS HIS GROSS MEATY HANDS ON HER HEAD, eyes crackling as a sudden BEAM blasts through those fingers.-

GAMZEE: =He's quite literally seeing red. Who hurt her? What in the motherfuck is going on? Where's Kankri? Is he hurt too? Before he gets a chance to speak however-=

DUALSCAR: I HEAR YE. =Picks up Meulin, and without asking picks up the now concious clown.= HANG ON, AN' DON'T YE FALL ASLEEP ON ME. =Rushes after.=

GAMZEE: =His eyes are now fixated on Meulin, big and red, watching her breathe and the bandage on her shoulder. He isn't saying anything.=

KANKRI: -Oop or not, Watches as John jogs ahead. Hes still concerned but now hes taking a moment to look around for his other quad. How far back is Gamzee anyways?-

KANKRI: -Kankri is all the way at the service entry.-

[ The pilot shakes, rattles, and rolls, as the controls go WILD. The ship seems to be going down-- right onto the bridge. IT CRASHES HARD, the ground crumbling as he is DEFINITELY DEAD. Good thing Jamison is so tough. ]

JOHN: -CATCHES UP TO JOLENE- hey! do you know where rose is?

ROSE: - As the ground under them shakes and Fieri loses a few fingers, Rose shakes herself free, lunging forward. She jabs both needles into his eyes and launches them BOTH over the falls. -(edited)

MEULIN: -This is... wrong. She can tell-- he hasn't looked at her like this before. There's so much going on and she doesn't resist Dualscar, but she's afraid of something else suddenly.- GAMZ33??

GUY: -He yells in agony. That was his good hand. Now it's charred and smelling of tacos al pastor. He screams as they go over, using his good hand to beat on her mercilessly-

JAMISON: =Pops out the rubble like a daisy in spring= ......Wait a minute.... where is everyone? CONSARNIT JAMI! =RUNS OFF, time to search=

JOLENE: -HOBBLES TO MEET JOHN- last i saw her she was going after fieri???

ROSE: -She ignores that, driving them as far into his head as she can. AT SOME POINT SHE'S DESTINED TO HIT BRAIN, but not before they disappear into the mists of the falls.-

[ Better hurry, Jamison. That whole bridge is starting to come down, cracks running all the way down the dam. Something is taking some SERIOUS damage from that crash. ]

JOHN: ugh.....i should go back and look for her! -he doesn't ask anybody permission. he just NYOOMS, staying close tot he ground in the hope of avoiding detection.-

JOHN: -he comes out to the sound of the bridge crashing-

GUYS: -Beats on her head like a bongo for his last moments of living-

JOLENE: wait, john! -there he goes- dammit!!!

JAMISON: =He's here and lightly charred, John ZOOMing bye knocked some dust off him=

[That bridge is going DOWN. Chunks are disappearing into the water as the flow intensifies. Looks like there's no going back. I mean. THERE COULD BE BUT IT'S MOSTLY ZOMBIES OVER THERE AND IT'D REALLY JUST BE JOHN]

[Zombies wave like "Hey"]

JOHN: ROSE!!!!!

JOHN: ROOooooOOOOOSE!!! -SCREAMS AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS, looking around for her-

GAMZEE: MOTHER FUCKING BLASPHEMES HAVE THEIR WICKED MITTS BROUGHT MISERY TO WHA-- =Is josteled by a shoulder NUDGE from Dualscar, which makes him let out a startled hiss.=

DUALSCAR: TOLD YE WWHOLE LOT NOT TA FUCKIN' FREAK OUT. THAT INCLUDES RELIGIOUS SHIT. =Stares ahead at the disappearing bridge and swears. Hopefully people are okay???=

GAMZEE: =The biggest frowny sneer.= none hands to be laid upon who matter without repent.

MEULIN: ARE YOU OKAY?? -she's still having a hard time reading his lips, but his expression seems clue enough to her that he's not so okay.- WHAT'S WRONG?

KANKRI: -With John having flown out, Kankri is following back towards the exit as far as he can, until he is distracted with the grumpy clown with Meulin and Dualscar. He skids to a stop and very quickly changes course for the time being to place a hand on Gamzee's shoulder to check on him.- 9h thank g99dness y9u are finally fully c9nci9us.

[ No response from the falls, but as John flies out, the remaining airships DEFINITELY NOTICE HIM. WHOOSH. ]

JOHN: -Oh shit. He's going to casually SPRINT BACK INSIDE-

JOHN: -iF HE MAKES IT-

[ There are a few more rumbles, but he DOES. ]

JOHN: -uguugughHHHH WHERE IS ROSE-???

JOHN: i didn't see her out there! -sprinting to catch up to the group-

[ Anyways as I was saying before but kinda forgot about, this place looks... familiar, now that they're inside of it. They're at some kind of maintenance area, sure, on an overhead part of the facility, with some shelves containing supply and upkeep essentials-- some SPECIAL STARDUST, a thing of face paint. A big mask and... a personal compuer, that appears to be on. It actually looks like halfway between a computer and an arcade cabinet, with the gastly image of some kind of HORRID CLOWN MAN as the desktop background. ]

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/C_OExLzEReE/maxresdefault.jpg

JUDE: -shivers looking at all of this- (why......)

GAMZEE: =This was a whole new world of feeling. Having himself get this worked up about something. It's as if he's being filled with one singular feeling-- purpose, but it's ebbing. Ebbing as Meulin speaks-- is able to speak. She's still injured however, and he cannot forgive that. Then there's Kankri's voice, suddenly, and his head snaps from one to the other. Ears high and eyes wide, less red, now orange.= SAME OF HE AND SHE. all in the concious, none in the right. SOME HORROR SHOW WHAT WE ALL BEAR TO WIT-- =Looks at all of this stuff like: http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/mspaintadventures/images/4/45/Gamzee.png/revision/latest?cb=20130109035508 = DUALSCAR: =He's gonna set Gamzee down now that he's all rowdy, jesus. Squints at everything and frowns deeply, muttering under his breath in a voice and expression someone might have while faced with something rancid.= CLOWWNS.

[ Just some emergency clown supplies and an emergency clown computer.]

JOHN: -he's just vibrating. Very distressed about not being able to go out and look for Rose. He keeps staring back at the door longingly.-

KANKRI: -All this emergency clown supplies are very eerie and creepy. He's stick close to Gamzee's side, and you bet your butt he's still holding his knife down at his side.-

MEULIN: -Keeps clinging onto Dualscar for now... the whole breathing thing just doesn't feel great at the moment. Gamzee looks a little better, and she takes his sudden pause as the moment to do the same and peers around.- WE-- SHOULDN'T BE IN HERE, -she decides pretty immediately.-

[Welcome to the CIRCUS OF VALUE hyuck!]

JOLENE: -maybe they shouldn't be, but she's going to raid these shelves for anything she can weaponize... maybe there's chemicals she can mix to make bombs? anything she can STAB things with?? she can always throw special stardust in people's faces if she has to...-

JAMISON: =This facepaint.... is it flammable? Eh. Either way he's going to break into this clown computer and make weapons from it's parts=

[Jolene, you the real mvp. Mostly just clown supplies so the face paint. You can guess what that is....]

JOHN: i wonder if they're waiting at the back entrance too. -though he doesn't reall ywant to leave anyway tbh. he's still wondering if they're going to bomb the place.-

[ The back entrance would appear to lead further into the factory-- it is also the only way out of this particular little utility closet slash maintenance area. ]

JUDE: we should

JUDE: set this place on fire

JAMISON: =SLAPS Jude's back= Atta boy! Agreed!

[ The stuff isn't really super useful for weapons or anything, no, but they can collect what they like.]

JAMISON: =Can he collect broken glass? He's gonna=

JOHN: -paces around tensley and then whips out his comm. He's going to try and text Rose.-

KANKRI: -Hes frowning.- Prefera6ly when we, and any 9ther p9ssi6le individuals within the area, are at a safer distance.

[ HE CAN INDEED]

KANKRI: Ars9n is quite danger9us.

ROSE: -DOES NOT TEXT BACK-

[Ghosted]

JOHN: we're in the "meat" processing plant!!! let me know you're okay when you read this!!!

JOLENE: -looks around, then just pushes through the back door into the factory- well, we definitely can't go back! come on. -it's okay kids, she will protect you all.-

JAMISON: Only way to progress is to move forward never back! =Remember when that was his slogan 30 years ago?=

JOHN: what about rose, though? she still isn't here.

JOHN: -trying his best not to sound panicked. WHAT IF SHE GOT BLOWN UP. WHAT IF GUY FIERI ATE HER BUTT???-

JAMISON: =....claps John on the shoulder= Buck up there old boy, no man left we just need to comb for her properly!

[ It's a bit of a walk, and there ARE some stairs down this hallway, leading to an office... of a sort. It's incredibly garish and slightly fleshy, but they can see the factory they were actually in not terribly long ago... and a conveyor belt with some incredibly ominous red stains on it. Red flashing lights are blaring warnings, and the place looks like it's been evacuated... except for the biomechanical computer just by the window. ]

[ There's some kind of holographic display on it, but it's flashing, and hard to actually focus on. ]

[It looks... kind of like a motherfuckin' MIRACLE, it does. ]

http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/mspaintadventures/images/9/91/MiracleModus.png/revision/latest?cb=20140112005838

JOLENE: -nod nod- it isn't safe for us to stay in one place either... once we get our bearings, we have a better chance of finding her.

JOHN: -UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH MENTAL ANGUISH- yeah....ok that makes sense.

JOHN: :D

JOLENE: -STARES AT ALL THIS-

JAMISON: =strongly squeeze shoulder in support=

JOHN: -TURNS HIS ATTENTION TO...WHATEVER THIS IS-

JAMISON: What the dickens is all this mess???

[ Those colors are TRANSFIXING. And... there's a lot of information it's imparting. A lot of THINGS. Some of those things are THEIR things, weirdly enough? ]

[ The clown text is pretty much fucking illegible, but there are some big buttons just under the modus display, along with another half of the machine dedicated to some more mundane, but still hard to read information. ]

[ What can be made out of the right half of the computer, it appears to be a manifest for cargo ships, hauling some "jerky" to other parts of the world. ]

[While the left half contains contraband used as "evidence" against the "incarcerated" humans here. ]

JAMISON: MY OLE BUSTER! We should also lift one of those jerky ships!

JOLENE: good idea! but first... -approaches the machine, inspecting the buttons before deducing which would be the one to eject their items- heads up! -ANTICIPATES IT ALL FLYING OUT if it works, because thats how fetch moduses are sometimes.-

JOHN: -it's a good thing he didn't still have that grand piano in his sylladex-

[ It is sort of flying out! It is also sort of like a big awful PILE. Pretty much everyone is buried in ASSORTED BULLSHIT. ]

JAMISON: =he sure hopes one of his grenade pins didn't get pulled ..=

[ No, but there's a BIG GUN. And some clothes that aren't awful. IT IS A MIRACLE]

JAMISON: =puts his weapons back in order=

JOEY: =john what the heck man=

JOHN: -BURIED IN ASSORTED BULLSHIT-

JUDE: -HIS STUFF! now he really COULD burn down the building if he wanted to...-

JOHN: -sadly notices that the rest of their cake got smushed-

JOHN: -starts haphazardly scooping stuff back into his sylladex-

JOEY: =She's trying to find her stuff specifically, but it's all such a mess, she's gathering what she can and hoping people pick up her junk too=

JOLENE: -gathers her stuff quickly too, but she wont fuss too much if she grabs someone else's or doesnt get all of hers... shes inspecting the manifest at the same time, memorizing where the cargo bay is so she can lead them there.-

JOHN: -Yeah if anyone else doesn't find their stuff, John is just throwing it in his so it'll be safe.-

[ CONSIDER YOURSELF RE-ARMED. There are some winding hallways, but Jolene can tell which way will lead them down to the hangar-- though they likely don't have long, as some Trolls bust in on foot through the factory floor. ]

JOLENE: -she'll bust a cap in their behinds then!!! but first, she points ahead where they need to go first- everybody down that way!!

JAMISON: =THE GUNS ARE OUT AND THE SUNS OUT but he'll help herd them onward. HE WILL SHOOT AND PUNCH=

JOEY: =she's rifling through her deck and she's pvcpipekind now= ugggggh =I GUESS!!=

[ IT'S BETTER THAN NOTHING!!!! ]

[ There is a muffled cry of THEY'RE OVER THERE from down one of the halls as they hurry to the hangar, but fortunately, with a bit of a hustle going, it's not too far of a run. ]

JOEY: =do you see these legs? THEY'RE PUMPING! THEY'RE PUMPED FOR ACTION!! =

JOLENE: -at some point makes her way back to the front of the pack to lead them into the hangar. awooo.-

JAMISON: =AWOO INDEED, he's SHOOTING at the trolls chasing them because HE'S GONNA SHOOT SOMETHING!=

[Dude]

[Honestly, Jamison gets splatted in the face with a honey chipotle chicken tender on the sole grounds of being "that guy"]

JAMISON: =SPLAT=

[ u should see the other guy ]

[well, he is very dead]

JOEY: Dad!

[He's dead. The other guy, that is,]

[ Someone's going to have to fly this thing. Prepped for flight and ONLY delayed so that it could ship the remains of the rebels after the show. Probably best to just. Dump all the current cargo tbh. It's a pretty big airship, enough room for everyone, even if it'll be a little bit cramped.]

JAMISON: =Actually this smells pretty good.... but he doesn't horf it down. Instead brings up the rear to USHER people in=

JOLENE: -AGGRESSIVELY CLEARS OUT THIS SHIP'S CARGO. blech!!!!!!!!!!!!-

JAMISON: Into the skies ahoy!! =He's the pirate now Dualscar, pewpew shooty at approaching trolls if they were FOOLISH enough to keep coming=

[ THEY WERE, TO BE CERTAIN. Their cargo door is sorta hanging open, and it's not as fast as the fighters in the air-- the ones that are curiously not intercepting them right now.]

[ Probably because a few of them are on fire and crashing. WEIRD. ]

ROSE: -a very bloody red thing rockets through the door as it's closing-- skidding and tumbling and more or less passing out directly on the floor of the plane.-

JAMISON: =SO WEIR--!!!= Heavens to Besty!

ROSE: -she's out like a light-

JOEY: rose!!

JOLENE: !!! -bends down to tend to her-

JOHN: - PROBABLY MEDICAL ATTENTION ING SHE AND MEULIN now that he has his bag again-

[🎵 We're so glad to have met you. We're sad we failed to melt you. We'll eat you next time, we promise. But for now, this round is on us. 🎵]

[gulescamisade]

New York: Day 3

ROSE: -She steps out of their temporary base in the alleyway to examine their surroundings-- some of the humans and paler, lumpier humans are milling around with a lot more purpose than before. Tugging on door handles and banging on windows, still silent and still with those awful, rictus grins. The blimp is flying lower than ever before, low enough that it'd almost seem like it would snag on the red towers high above them.-

JAMISON: =Has a bat now, he probably found it. 5 bats. Everyone gets a bat, but he watches the blimp=

JUDE: -ENHANCE ZOOM on his binoculars, eyeballing that blimp...-

ROSE: -holding a bat-

ROSE: ...Jamison, why on earth do these appear to be deemed contraband?

JOHN: -he's eyeing all the towers in the area. did they decide a place to land the zepp if they get it?-

JOEY: =She has one of those heavy duty flashlights in one hand. It is off, so as not to draw attention, but it's solid enough to whack a mole if need be=(edited)

KANKRI: -Peeping out from behind Rose at the blimp lowering. Yikes, whoever is driving it is not very careful.-

JAMISON: I haven't the slightest but I can say they've got a bit of a heavier hit if you catch my drift! =nudge nudge=

ROSE: I... yes. I gather. ROSE: I'll keep that in mind.

ROSE: Something feels off about this.

[ ALSO: REGARDING ZEPPLIN PLANS: mostly to get out of the city. They'll find that it's VERY large, and mostly consisting of buildings too hostile to tether it too, and, worst of all, with some pretty steep walls penning everyone in. ]

JAMISON: I believe it's fair to say plenty is off here, however they are rattling things in anticipation.... I wonder if some sort of drop off is going to be made from the blimp to the masses.

ROSE: ...Do you suppose that would make this an ideal time?

JAMISON: Better than any I'd say!

ROSE: -She looks towards John, and nodding.- Right then. ROSE: We will try to non-violently depose the blimp captains and-- see things from there.

JOEY: =she nodded= agreed

ROSE: Presumably see to taking things violently, if our past experiences are any indicator.

JAMISON: =Lifts net= Right-o!

JOHN: allllrighty.

JOHN: -rubs kankri's back for luck.-

JOEY: =sighs= i was somewhat hoping for the utilization of stealth, but =hefts the flashlight in her hand= lets do it!

ROSE: -She's gonna hold her hands up, attempting to lift Jamison and Joey with her, psionically.- ROSE: We can certainly try. Don't hold too much hope.

ROSE: This scheme is well in the vein of harebrained.

JOHN: if something goes wrong don't be afraid to scatter. we have our comms!(edited)

JAMISON: =THINKS LIGHT THOUGHTS to try and help her= We'll be fine and have it swung about in two shakes Missy! :D

[ They begin to RISE INTO THE AIR. It's probably fair to mention that the air is a bit... hazy, perhaps. But it isn't the typical kind of smog, even if it stings the lungs a bit as they ascend. ]

JAMISON: =HIS LUNGS ARE READY=

[ Something does, however, seem to be very off. The people still aren't paying much attention to them, but some seem to have given up on trying to maintain their grinning faces and broken into an outright fleeing panic, as the lights illuminating the massive flavortown blimp turn red. ]

JOHN: -Although Rose's psiionics lift them up, John is helping support with the Breeze, which billows under them. It feels light, fresh and tingly, helping to dispel some of the dirty feeling of the grease and haze.-

[ It does alleviate the stinging sensation! For a few moments, anyways. Something on the underside of the blimp seems to visibly open, slots visible even from their relatively low altitude as, rather suddenly, a massive, thick cloud of red smoke billows towards the ground with tremendous force. ]

ROSE: Wh-

JAMISON: =TAKES A BREATH, BRING IT. TOSS HIM IN!=

JOEY: =she's coughed from all this dirty air, but once the people below began to scatter, she glanced around wildly for the source=

[ It hits VERY SUDDENLY and very hard, stinging the eyes, nose, and any open wounds, if they have them, with a gale force to send them tumbling directly back onto the street. It smells of-- well, a lot of different kinds of spicy peppers, with disturbing chemical aftertaste that's incredibly hard to place. ]

[ The haze seems to absolutely COVER the ground as they hit it, no less, nothing visible scarcely ten feet in front of them, in all directions. ]

JAMISON: =Good thing he doesn't have eyes but he does cough because GOODNESS that sure is something. Spits out what got into his mouth and goes to stand back up, looking down at himself= E-gad! We've been SEASONED!

JAMISON: =Shakes fist at blimp= YOU BEST COME TENDERIZE THIS BEEF, IT'S MIGHTY TOUGH!!

JOEY: =wheezes, coughing, eyes watering= fuck is this

[ Some of the ambient noises of the city grow a bit... rhythmatic in their movements. It's still painful and difficult to see-- but something IS coming. ]

JOHN: -Oh no. Thsi is the exact opposite of a good thing for John. He feels like he's drowning, like his brain is shutting down. For a second he almost drops out of the air.-

JOEY: going out on a limb here....maybe we should run too?

JOHN: -But the Breeze catches him. Thakfully it has a bit of a mind of it's own.-

JAMISON: =Wipes his glasses and looks around, READY 2 TUSSLE= Run from what??? NEVER.

ROSE: -She's too busy coughing to add much input, as slowly shambling figures begin to become visible through the sickly red haze.-

[ If the other ones were zombies... then these creatures were a lot more zombier than that. It's hard to tell through the smoke, but their bodies-- golden brown, like they've spent a round in a deep frier-- with chunks of skin replaced entirely by breading, and dripping some kind of hot sauce or marinara. It's very hard to tell. If it wasn't hot sauce before, it was now. ] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3diEBFsjo8&feature=youtu.be

JOEY: =she feels a bit sick, actually=

JAMISON: =He's gonna charge in and fight them, there's no.... wait... his kids..... ERR......= Hop on up to the roof my ducklings!! I've got this!!!

JUDE: -WHAT THE FUCK ACTUALLY-

[ You've got THREE WHOLE ZOMBIES ON YOU, ACTUALLY. ]

JOEY: =um no????=

JOEY: =high kicks a zomboo in the FACE=

JAMISON: =PUNCHES ONE IN THE MOUTH= Chew on this you battered nightmare! =Kicks another one=

[ The zombie's come apart in a cloud of even more spicy dust, even as they continue to circle around the group in what can plainly be called a HORDE. ]

JOHN: -FWOOOOOOSH. For a sec, he focuses on BLOWING ALL THIS SHIT OFF HIMSELF. So he can see, and breath and think. The wind he summmons is so powerful that it also rockets him forward. Then he ROCKETS BACK DOWN TOWARDS THE GROUND, intent on dive bombing one of those zombies.-(edited)

JOHN: -he brings along with him a wave of air.-

JAMISON: =Brandishies his bat and SWINGS= HA! All dus-! =COUGH COUGH, SWINGS BAT AND SMASHES WHILE COUGHING=

JOEY: =laughing at her dad's antics= hahaha-=coughcoughcough= haha!

JOEY: =she bonks another zombie with her flashlight=

[ The air brings some THANKFUL RESPITE from the stinging cloud, even if it's already seeping back down in incredibly thick waves. A breath of fresh, untainted air and a moment of clarity from the haze, and the group can see some manner of vehicle on the west end of the street-- it doesn't look like the trailers ferrying meat before, but there are distinctive headlights and large, thick tires for plowing through the horde. ]

JOEY: (nope nope nope nope nope nope) =she's out, she's shoving and kicking zombies out of the way while trying to make a break for it away from this truck. Grabbing Jude's hand - she wasn't planning on getting separated from him again, Joey peered though the painful haze to try to get to a narrow enough alley the truck could not access.=

[ Joey can find alleyways, SORT OF, but the rapidly diminishing sphere of clean air makes it hard to judge how wide they are. ]

JUDE: -reeling back in whatever direction is AWAY from the vehicle, but his hand seems to instinctively reach out to take joey's-- like they had the same plan. he gladly follows her.-

JAMISON: =!! He's going to get out of the way= Quick suggestion, we take that truck there! It seems very useful!

JOEY: =She takes one anyway, taking the first turn she can, continuing to weave through the streets in order to lose the truck. Is anyone following? She's not turning to look.=

JOHN: -He just hates everything. This spicy hell is fucking up hi swhole life. he won't feel right for quite a while after breathing all that crap in. and the headlights cutting into his eyes is the last straw. he YELLS ANGRILY and charges, a little ways above the truck, swept along by all the wind power he can muster.-

JOHN: -Iiiiiiit's hammertime-

[ IS HE HITTING THE TRUCK ]

JOHN: -ye-

[ I AM GONNA HAVE TO ROLL A DICE FOR THIS ONE ]

JOHN: -ROLL FOR MICHAEL BAY-

[ It's not quite Michael Bay, no, but it's something PRETTY SIMILAR if nothing else. ]

ROSE: -She is not following, actually, she is probably going with jamison TOWARDS the truck.-

JAMISON: =Time to take the truck, but yes, he's running for it. What are the doors on this bad boy like?=

[ John's hammer collides with some sort of armored windshield-- it's plain from the force of the impact and the explosion of shards that this isn't just any kind of street cleaning vehicle, that's for sure. There's a troll inside, in fact, whose eyes go wide as he sees John, Rose, Jamison and the chemicals seeping in, letting out a loud "O|H| FUCK!!!!!" as he whips out something from his side-- something that looks like a gun, but with a bit of a sci-fi kick to it. The sci-fi kick being something analogous to a tazer mixed with a bolt of actual lightning.]

[also, the doors are, unfortunately, slightly too far away. The breeze moved John REAL dang fast to the truck.]

JAMISON: =HE HAS A GUN TOO MOTHERFLIPPER, a POTATO GUN. FWUNK!! Fires at the window=

JOHN: -practically meets eyes with the guy. hi there! :O but when he sees he has a gun, he dislodges his hammer (jn a spray of broken glass) and swiftly retreats to the TOP of the truck, not doing naything else for a moment while he tries to catch his balance.-

JUDE: -peeps out from the alley, squinting to try to get a better sense of what's happening out there- hhhhnng...

KANKRI: -He's wheezing because zombies and pepper haze but also john what the FUCK-

JOHN: what? he's HELPING.-

JAMISON: =John your buddy seems worried=

KANKRI: -You better not get yourself killed or hurt or anything, Kankri is a nervous wreck in the alley.-

KANKRI: -Hes all the way at the edge of it watching in horror.-

SOME GUY: AUG|H|!!! -The troll ducks, slamming something on the console of his truck. A big red button by all appearances. The ground under John seems to shift-- something beginning to open up under his feet. It's rather fast, swinging upwards, and looking like a large metal bin-- with a swift scooping motion it would slam John into its empty insides, before attempting to slam DOWN on top of Rose and Jamison, penning them all in.-

JOHN: -YELPS IN SURPRISE AND DISMAY. THER EHE GOES.-

KANKRI: -HHHHHHHHH.-

[ They're all probably dismayed. AND IN A BIG PILE ON TOP OF EACH OTHER. In a weird metal bucket coffin. ]

JOHN: -PROBABLY COUGHING IN THEIR FACES, HIS EYES STREAMING. sorry he can't help it.-

ROSE: -it's ok she's pretty bad too here-

JAMISON: =CONFINED.= Oh of all the! =How HEAVY? is it? Jamison is going to immediately try to hoist it back up with his weird old-man strength=

JOEY: o_o

[ PRETTY. The machine groans and struggles, but it seals shut underneath them, too, before swinging upwards and tossing them into the back, like a REALLY SHITTY GARBAGE TRUCK. ]

JOHN: -FLWUMP-

[ It is a disorienting tumble for everyone involved, even as the troll driving it can be heard coughing and cursing and rousing the truck to move again, faster. Bashing into the sides of buildings as he convulses a bit. ]

JOHN: -ENRAGED YELLING- HEY LET US OUT YOU -COUGH- PILE OF CRUSTY TAINTS!!!

JAMISON: =Dumped in here into this garbage. What's in here?=

[ Oh, they're still in the bin. It's just that the BIN is dumped in the back. It appears to have gotten a new bin attached to the front as it wobblingly and shakily lurches on its uneen path forward. Gonna attempt to run down Kankri and scoop him TOO. ]

JOEY: psst!!! JOEY: jellybean!

JOHN: -SLAMMING ON THE WALLS AND COUGHING AND SCREAMING- your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!!! also, you're a fuck face!!!!!!

KANKRI; -This is not good. This is so far from good, what does he DO?? He takes half a step out of the allyway because John is in trouble and he needs to do SOMETHING-- Oh wait, nope here comes the vehicle. Hes going to try and run, but lets all be honest with ourselves, hes not fast enough to get away. Hes getting scooped.-

[ SCOOP. He tumbles into the back, and his container bashes into the other three's.-

JOEY: =jellybean, nooooo=

JAMISON: =UGHHH, actually stops and thinks when they're BASHED=

JOHN: -shuts up for a sec because he's slammed with a kankri bomb-

KANKRI: -SORRY GUYS.-

JUDE: oh JESUS

JUDE: they're going to deep fry us too!!

JUDE: AND THEN THEY'RE GOING TO EAT US -clinging to joey still-

[ The ominous headlights pull into the alleyway. The truck seems to fill the ENTIRE THING, JUST BARELY. It's almost as though the city designers build them to be traps like this.]

JOEY: RUN!

JUDE: -HE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!!-

KANKRI: -He presses his back to the wall of the container hes trapped in and is dead silent as hes listening for any sound from the others trapped in the first container.-(edited)

[ IT IS TOO LATE. They, too, are scooped. ]

[ A final clatter flings them all into the back. ]

JOHN: do you think that's them??? -panicked slightly, because he's imagining them run over by those big tire treads T___T

JOHN: HEY GUYS. CAN YOU HEAR ME? IS THAT YOU? ARE YOU ALIVE?

JOEY: gah!! nooooo!

JUDE: -JUST. YELLING.-

JOEY: =they're alive=

ROSE: It... sounds like them, yes.

ROSE: -taps on the side of the container.-

JOEY: =deep inhale= NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

KANKRI: !!!! -Hears the yelling and tapping and moves over to the wall closest to everyone else.- Yes!! F9r the time 6eing yes.

JOHN: OH....GOOD!

JOHN: UH, DON'T WORRY! I'M SURE WE'LL GET OUT OF THIS! -muffled-

[ The back of the truck, the air smells more of the chemical than the spices. It's... a much more sedate feeling. Maybe a little bit TOO sedate. The kind that makes you just want to... completely pass out unconscious for a few days. No biggie. ]

KANKRI: (I feel like I have d9u6ts a69ut that...) Are y9u all 9kay in y9ur c9ntainer-- -Wheezes and starts coughing, the spicy air back here was so much worse then it was outside, he feels dizzy. And its not long before hes blacking out.-(edited)

JAMISON: OH NO SIR! NOT MY BABIES! =goes down literally swinging=

JOHN: WE'RE...WE'RE FINE I THINK. EXCEPT...THE AIR. -cough cough cough- I think it's....uh........-Loses his train of thought. FWOOSH. He tries to fill up the small confined space with fresh air, but he only manages it once. He's already breathed too much.-

JOEY: uh....... =cough= izzit just me or do things feel a little funny to you

JOHN: -ALREADY PASSED OUT-

JUDE: -definitely passed out after screaming so much...-

[gulescamisade]

New York:  Day 2

JOHN: - ASSUMING they ended up sleeping in an alley, John probably cuddled up with Kankri. However, he miserably wakes up over and over to vomit, straying farther away from the group during these excursions for courtesys sake. He gets more sweaty, stumbly and shaky the more this goes on-

ROSE: -She looks up from her typing to watch John. At some point he feels her hand on his back, rubbing in little circles.- Good morning. ROSE: It is a punctual wake up call, if I were pressed to say one good thing about this place.

JOHN: - he is NOT having a good morning but he wheezes and smiles anyway. He's chewing some peppermint gum, and still slathering on the Vicks which is helping somewhat- yeah, no kidding. bright and early in flavor town.

ROSE: As far as I can tell, based on the feed, no one else is in any danger. ROSE: Immediate danger, I should say. But we're not sure where Roxy, Jake, your father or the cherubs are.

ROSE: It could be a good sign that they're off the grid like that.

JOHN: - Thank you for providing a positive option he'll be choosing that one- yeah. i mean... my dad is with them. i'm not worried. he probably has things on lock down. - oh how ironic this statement is-

JOHN: d'ya want some water? the only food i have is cake but i have lots of water bottles. - also the sort of shock blankets EMTs carry. there were likely three that they all had to share. -

ROSE: Wherever it is, I presume it's better than what you'd get if Banksy were commissioned to construct a parody of a city.

ROSE: ...Yeah. that would actually help a lot.

JOHN: - passes her one-

JOHN: - SIGHS because he already really hates this place. - this is beyond banksy this is like what michael bay would've done if youd asked him for a dystopian flick. pretty on the nose, betty. just sayin...

ROSE: Nothing is on fire except for our reliable steel trash fire, John, and I would never insult our most stalwart ally that way.

ROSE: Although if I see one single depiction of Ronald McDonald anywhere, I am extraordinarily liable to flip a tit.

JOHN: well i hate to say it, Rose but in all likelihood your tit is getting flipped.

ROSE: I said a tit, John, not necessarily any of mine. Ronald -- can I call him Ronald? Is that deemed appropriate?-- likely has at least one under that puffy yellow garment.

ROSE: All I am saying is that it is likely to be golden brown on both sides.

ROSE: Not unlike the McGriddle.

JOHN: - laughs helplessly even tho he doesn't want to. STAHP-

ROSE: -She twists open the water bottle-- grateful that they've got something-- taking a sip. Her head still hurts, but it's normal style headache, not migraine getting nuked by all the lights of times square, so she can deal a lot better.- ROSE: I mostly have some of Baldur's baby food I prepared. ROSE: I doubt that will last terribly long, but I'd like to avoid any of the food here if we can help it.

ROSE: So, we have banana and peanut butter mush, and cake.

JOHN: maybe the others have some more stuff. - he doesn't wanna wake them up yet tho. let them rest... -

ROSE: Well, it could be a lot worse.

JOHN: hey I'm not knocking banana peanut butter mush. sounds good honestly. - except he's not interested in any food rn, he's too nauseated. the only reason he stopped vomiting is because is tum is empty except for water-

ROSE: It is. Protein and at least one kind of potassium. The possibilities are endless.

MEULIN: -She's slept pretty restlessly -- post-traumatic stress and dangerous locations will do that to you -- and only manages to sleep soundly once she sees familiar words scrolling over her sunglasses, knowing that at least someone else was awake to watch out in her stead. It was difficult having only so many senses, being unable to tell if any noise should alert them. Now, though, she stirs again, squinting in whatever haze of light manages to permeate the neon signs.-

http://www.guyfieri.com/wp-content/themes/guyfieri/images/xshow-header-bigbite.jpg.pagespeed.ic.2DQMNZ--Hj.jpg

[ GOOD MORNING MEULIN ]

MEULIN: -SQUINTS LOUDER AT THIS SIGN.- (GUY CAN TAKE A BIG BITE OF MY BOOTY.)

JOEY: =rubs at her eyes, sitting up= ...what guy?

[HE MIGHT]

ROSE: Fieri, comma.

ROSE: Morning.

JOEY: oh....

JOEY: he's still a thing?

ROSE: I took the liberty to scout by air a bit. I can confirm two things.

ROSE: One is that this city is hopelessly large, and most of the buildings are equipped with searchlights on the highest floors.

ROSE: The other is that he is very much still a thing.

ROSE: He's plastered all over the place.

JOEY: sorry ive been out of the loop in this universe for quite some time now

JOEY: i can tell you in some of them he is but a distant memory

JOEY: although it might be to give the world a false sense of security, waiting to rise again

MEULIN: UGGHH...

MEULIN: I'M SO MAD THAT MY BODY IS EVEN LETTING ME F33L HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.

ROSE: Let's start a fair clip back, actually.

ROSE: Should I be horrified by him? more so than everything else about this place, I mean?

[He's only the high chaplain of interstellar war. The key architect of the hilarocaust itself. Pay no mind to the fact that he ruthlessly murdered and cooked every supreme court justice in his rise to power]

JOEY: your guess is as good as mine =shrugs= i dunno what this version of him is supposed to be like

JOEY: hes either a harmless cook with his own tv show using way too much grease or not many really know about him

JOEY: here its obviously not the case

ROSE: Right.

ROSE: It's fine. We should eat, anyhow. Keep our strength up without succumbing to the Big Bite. Do any of you have food on you?

JOEY: oh shit! =rummages through her sylladex= i have a bag of milky ways!

ROSE: I wonder how long we can last on candy and baby food.

MEULIN: I HAVE. UM.

MEULIN: ...

MEULIN: ...EDIBLES...

JOEY: =places a milky way fun size bar on her sleeping brother's head=

ROSE: Edible what, exactly?

MEULIN: ...RR...

JOEY: boogers are edible, yet....im not feeling that

MEULIN: PRETZELS. AND... RICE KRISPIES...

MEULIN: BUT THEY'RE. YOU KNOW.

JOEY: ???

ROSE: I really don't. Although I should disclose I was working under the assumption you were talking about edible panties or body chocolate.

ROSE: So they're probably not worse than that.

JOEY: =LAUGHS=

MEULIN: HAHAHA!

MEULIN: UH... WELL THEY'RE. YOU S33... THEY ARE NIP INFUSED.

MEULIN: SO.........

ROSE: Oh.

ROSE: Well, that'll at least help us cope.

MEULIN: YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, AND ALSO. WE PURROBABLY SHOULDN'T EAT TOO MANY IN ONE SITTING.

ROSE: We'll ration.

JOEY: hehehehehe

JOEY: we get high or get cavities

JOEY: it's a race to either

MEULIN: -casually pulls out Rice Krispies on that note... TIME TO GET FUCKING BLAZED. She offers one each to Joey and Rose.-

ROSE: ...Thank you. -TIME TO DO A WEED BREAKFAST. she might reconsider but she's sick of her head hurting, and she hasn't had a thing in her stomach since they arrived.-

JOEY: thanks

JOEY: =she wipes her hands on her pants before taking it. Does it help? Who knows?=

JOEY: =nibbles the krispie=

MEULIN: -They're pretty tasty and definitely Rice Krispie treats. They don't seem to taste any different than a normal one, but in about five to ten minutes they should feel a nice buzzy body high and a bit more floaty than before... depending on how high or low their tolerance is. They might be a lot floaty and a lot buzzy.-

JOEY: =she's a lusus vet. the occasion never called for drug use!=

JAMISON: =slowly lifts a manhole cover then jumps out of it. Where has this old man been?? Puts the cover back and scurries to the group= Oh fantastic you're eating! Here I've got some clean water. =thunks down a gallon jug, yes he's still shirtless... AND ARMED=

ROSE: -She's just starting to relax and let that buzzing feeling take over when JAMISON THE SUDDEN.-

ROSE: Fuck!

MEULIN: !! -IT'S THE RESPONSIBLE ADULT PARTY, EVERYONE SCATTER. But no she just smiles at Jamison.- HI! THANKS.

JOEY: =Nearly jumps out of her skin and fumbles with the rice krispie, almost dropping it. It's like when your parent catches you smoking! It's...almost like that, actually.=

ROSE: That was sudden. I figured you'd gone somewhere, but... It seems you went... There. This is good to have.

ROSE: Hello. Also.

JOEY: hiiii dad! um...where did you get the water?

JAMISON: Oh... didn't mean to give you all a start! Good morning! I'll go hunting down normal appearing meat later! No worries on the water I staked out a source and purified it myself with something I whipped up! :D

JOEY: =I knew it, it IS sewer water=

JAMISON: =LISTEN. SURVIVAL.=

ROSE: That's a relief. ROSE: We were just taking supply of what we've got. Suppose we'll be able to manage for long enough to figure which way is... out.

JAMISON: Any way can be out, missy! Haw! Simply pick a direction!

JOLENE: -waddles over after disappearing herself. this is a bad habit this family has.- agreed! and if it requires blowing holes into any of the buildings then i have explosives. :)

ROSE: Well. Shit. 

ROSE: Alright. I'd first want... a car. Because it seems kind of desperate if we're going to be making our getaway from acts of explosives on foot.

ROSE: I was thinking we could try and tail one of those freight trucks.

JOLENE: that's probably a good idea........ -she just wants to level this whole place-

JAMISON: =beams at Jojo= Like the old days!

ROSE: The old truck hijacking days.

JOLENE: it really takes me back...

JOEY: ive never heard this story =chinhands, munching on this riceweedie=

JAMISON: Oh! There's tons of stories we can tell!! =proudly beams=

ROSE: I'm sure there's... plenty of time.

JOHN: - HE GAVE MEULIN A LOOK LIKE... so it's you... you're the supplier. but given they're in a crisis situation he lets it slide. And takes a bite of a rice krispy hoping it will help with the nausea. -

JOLENE: yes, true. for now let's focus on getting out of here. -peeps the rice krispies- what have you got there?

ROSE: Breakfast. 

ROSE: Laced with a relaxant to dull the overwhelming stimulus of our environment.

ROSE: -WOW she's starting to think she's really good at being high-

JAMISON: They've scrounged up some-- oh? Hm........ 

JAMISON: So long as your reflexes are kept sharp!

JOHN: - How elegantly she puts it-

ROSE: :)

ROSE: :)

JOLENE: ... -squints-

JOLENE: are those weed rice krispies????????????????

ROSE: ...There is a mite touch of THC.

JAMISON: Awww come now Jojo! The youngsters aren't used to such dastardly dangers as we are!

JOHN: - please body digest these faster so he can feel not sick-

JOHN: - pleading with your body is a common medical practice don't you know-

JAMISON: Also it's a bit hard to find something that seems safe to consume out here.... I've even got looking for meat but I apparently haven't gone far enough on my last search!

JOHN: well i have lots of cakes

JOHN: they're safe... my dad made them.

JAMISON: Oh! Well that'll do finely! Good job old boy!

JOHN: it's not the most nutritious thing but...

JAMISON: Mustn't be picky about what you get to feast on in the wild, it could be the last meal you pass up! Haw!

MEULIN: CAKE IS GOOD. -thankfully being high makes you also want to eat just about anything... unless it's made by Guy, because fuck him.-

JOHN: - he breaks two out right now. months old but they're kept fresh although they might taste like they've been in hammer space for a little too long-

JOLENE: -frowns thinking about the cakes because she knows james is missing...- i'll have some cake. thank you, john.

JOHN: - he's frowning for the same reason-

JAMISON: I'll take one as well! Need to keep my wits sharp!! =THEY'LL FIND EVERYONE AND FIX JADE, BUCK UP EVERYONE!!!=

JAMISON: =HE BELIEVES!!=

JAMISON: Now then! I'll take that to go and SCOUT! :D

JOHN: -there's yellow cake that says HAPPY LATE DECEMBER and another one, chocolate that says HAPPY EARLY JANUARY

ROSE: Be careful. Try to avoid shooting anything.

ROSE: -EYES the cakes. REALLY, EGBERT FAMILY...-

JOLENE: .... -james............-

JAMISON: =DIBS ON THE YELLOW CAKE, pistol-winks at Rose= No promises but I will gather a route for us so get your rears in gear!!

JAMISON: And drink some water!

ROSE: -She is interrupted by a STOMACH GROWL. She levitates over a pretty large slice with her majyyks.-

JOLENE: -grabs a slice of chocolate cake and gobbles it down. YUM.-

JOHN: - HE makes sure everyone gets a large slice except himself because he's waiting for the cannabis to kick in-

JAMISON: =Bends down to touch his toes, stretches this way and that. If they're in the alley still he takes a running start at the wall and hardcore parkours his way up to the roof of one of the buildings= TALLY-HO!!!! =There he goes....=

JOHN: - bemused amazement at Jamison-

JOLENE: ... there he goes.

MEULIN: ...-shimmery eyes.- I WOULD TOTALLY DO THAT IF HE INVITED ME.

JOEY: so now we have dessert, candy, and happy times to fuel our energy =giggles=

ROSE: I... You know, that sort of reminds me. 

ROSE: Obviously you are not beholden to stay, but I haven't seen any other trolls, outside of our group. Right? Just humans and... Less... Healthy looking humans.

JOHN: that is weird now that you mention it...

JOEY: if the troll to human ratio is low here, theres a chance of another group out there with one human surrounded by trolls 

JOEY: =presses meulin's nose= boop

JOHN: hehehehe... boop! - does it too-

MEULIN: -IS BOOP!!!- (=ﾟ･ﾟ=) 

MEULIN: PRRP! -bunts at their hands. Pet her.-

JOHN: - It's good luck! he gladly gives her head scratches. -

MEULIN: MAYBE THERE'S A FLEASON. PRRRRR.

JOHN: i kind of imagined... more trolls?

ROSE: Yeah...

JOEY: =Pats Meulin's hair floof, shrugging=

JOEY: maybe were meant to be here

JOEY: if youre saying this isn't a coincidence

JOHN: -...THAT IS NOT A COMFORTING THOUGHT-

JOEY: =sorry! it's not a lullaby to her either=

ROSE: I don't doubt there was intent in the decision.

ROSE: What I would like to find is the purpose behind this place.

ROSE: What these glamorous banalities mask.

ROSE: You know, that shit.

MEULIN: PRRR PRRR... 

MEULIN: NOT GOOD STUFF. WHY WOULD THE EMPURR WANT TO F33D PEOPLE?

ROSE: Chemicals, probably. Fuck it.

JAMISON: =APPEARS again= Mind-control! Well.. it's a theory. Also if you have the necessities then you control the land. 

JAMISON: A typical tactic done with water mostly but food isn't any different!

ROSE: Chemicals. -nods-

JOHN: maybe the food is... - dramatic pause- PEOPLE

JOHN: nah just kiddin

JOHN: or not..???

ROSE: Let's not rule anything out.

JAMISON: True, we should keep open minds so to not be surprised! JAMISON: Whatever these devils are eating isn't good for them and I can't say cannibalism does a body good!

MEULIN: .....

MEULIN: UMM...

MEULIN: WELL...

JUDE: -he's in the bg here just perpetually going hhhhhhh-

MEULIN: I'M PURRETTY SURE THAT'S STILL A THING ALTERNIA DOES...

JAMISON: =Peeps Jude.......=

JAMISON: Well yes, for you troll lot it is fine you're biology is capable of handling it. The same can't be said with our own digestive system. =Do you need a hug Jude? A sweaty, shirtless, hairy dadhug?=

MEULIN: BLEH. MEULIN: BUT WASN'T THERE A SIGN ABOUT D33P FRYING BABIES?

MEULIN: -stares off into the neon distance...-

JAMISON: Then it's quite possible that cannibalism has been introduced or even forced upon locals!

JUDE: -nO NOT REALLY DAD BUT THANKS...-

JUDE: okay but haven't you noticed the traits the humans around here are taking on?

JUDE: ashen skin... they've got growths on their heads??

JUDE: it'd make sense if they're being forced to eat their own

JUDE: if the condesce is trying to convert humanity to troll customs-- no, worse

JUDE: convert them into trolls themselves

[No? Maybe. Look, it's a decent proposal. However, no, there aren't any signs EXPLICITLY advertising frying babies, or any other humans for that matter.]

MEULIN: -SHE COULD SWEAR SHE SAW ONE LAST NIGHT-

JAMISON: Why that's a silly thing to do EVEN FOR Fish Hitler...... =squints= so she might just be doing it..... JAMISON: Confound it the seabeast is no genius when it comes to biology!.... Perhaps capturing one for testing is necessary....

JAMISON: I'm sure I would whip up a DNA analyzer!

MEULIN: OH... -geck face- THAT'S SO SUPURR GROSS?? WHY WOULD ANYBODY DO THAT???

JOEY: its a motivation if the fish queen wants an army of mindless followers

JOEY: rebuilding her race to the extent that all choice or doubt in her reign has been taken from them

MEULIN: MAYBE SHE SHOULD CLAWNSIDER REBUILDING HER BUTT WHEN I PUT MY FOOT IN IT. -grumpy growls. This cat does not like this town.-

JAMISON: Well said! There's ample space for my fists of fury along with your boot old girl!

MEULIN: OH MY GOD I ONLY JUST REALIZED YOU CAME BACK.

ROSE: Haha. Fuck.

MEULIN: WE JUST HAD A CONFURSATION AND EVERYTHING.

JAMISON: Right-o! Never stray for long when there's work to be done!

JAMISON: So, seeing how shooting is against the group consensus what about capturing?

ROSE: I could justify that, yes.

ROSE: We want to avoid a ruckus until we're certain they cannot corner us.

MEULIN: (ฅ•ω•ฅ) MEULIN: I'M GOOD AT POUNCING. I'VE B33N PRACTICING MY WHOLE LIFE.

JOEY: .....(adorable...)

JAMISON: Meulin! Would you like to capture a zombie with me? :D

MEULIN: -SNRKS and nudges bashfully at Joey. She heard that!!!-

JAMISON: =Holds up a net he made=

MEULIN: OH HELLS YES.

[ LOOK AT THIS NET THAT I JUST FOUND ]

JOHN: i think we should establish a base first that isn't an alley out in the open :0

JOHN: what about hijacking one of those trailers

ROSE: Was there room in those sewers?

JAMISON: Do we plan on being here for long? JAMISON: We could appropriate a building!

JOHN: - scratches under beard as he considers all these options-

ROSE: No, we need to catch up with the others. And despite her enthusiasm, I don't think Jolene has enough bombs to demolish this whole place.

JAMISON: Oh, well that's just a matter of creating more.

JOEY: we should keep a low profile before coming up with a solid game plan

JOEY: THEN we can make things blow up

JAMISON: Hm.... actually I would like to meet this "Guy" and take all his files.

ROSE: Well. Ideally, we would have a bomb on the side of town opposite we're going to escape from.

JOHN: hmm we're more than 20 hours from minnesota... if we somehow scored a trailer we could get out of town quickly if we need to and then take turns sleeping on the way there...

JAMISON: That is my near-end game to see what the devil is going on!

ROSE: Establish some sort of distraction.

JOEY: or direction

JOEY: if were going to sightsee, lets make an itinerary

JOEY: =smiles blissfully=

JOHN: - takes a deep breath. his stomach feels better and his nausea is gone. - those were really bomb ass rice krispies, meulin.

JOHN:... you still have that pb and banana...

ROSE: -SNORTS and laughs uncontrollably-

JOHN: @Rose

ROSE: -slides a lil plastic baby food container towards JOHN-

JOHN: - here he is, a grown ass man with a child eating baby food-

MEULIN: YOU ARE FURRY WELCOME.

JOHN: - incredible-

JOHN: - also he feels all tingly-

MEULIN: -she hasn't kept up with the conversation too terribly, thanks to the fact that she doesn't have to listen and can read it instead.- I THINK THE SEWERS MIGHT BE GOOD. THEY HAVE LITTLE AREAS DOWN THERE RIGHT?

MEULIN: IT WON'T SMELL GREAT BUT I THINK IT MIGHT BE BETTER THAN ICKY BUFFALO RANCH NOOK HELL.

JOHN: alright well... we have a lot of different ideas. and i honestly don't know what's the best choice.

JOHN: should we vote?

JOEY: =her eyes get spherical=

JOEY: theres such a place as buffalo ranch nook hell?

ROSE: Let's steal the zepplin.

JAMISON: I would like to have a base of operations and the sewers weren't so terrible for tha- oh a zepplin would be grand!

JOHN: is that a serious option because if so i like it.

JOHN: - HAS WIND POWERS-

ROSE: Yes. Fuck it. Fuck the sky. Let's steal it.

JOHN: yeah! - fist pump-

MEULIN: -leans toward Joey- WE'RE IN IT. WE ARE IN BUFFALO RANCH NOOK HELL.

JOEY: does anyone know how to actually fly one of those? it's hard from what i have heard :\

JOHN: oh, I have wind powers

JOHN: plus they probably do... - points at jo jo and jamison-

MEULIN: HE SAYS, SUPURR CATSUALLY.

JOHN: - he just takes for granted that the old people know everything-

JOHN: - floats as an example for joey-

ROSE: I, too, have powers, but I'd also think that hauling everyone up into the sky will attract a measure of attention we're not prepared for.

ROSE: Which is second to my previously stated stance, fuck the sky.

JAMISON: Oh! Yes you have been floating as of late I recall... =strokes mustache=

MEULIN: FUCK THE SKY!!

JOHN: ohhhh thats true. - considers this-

JOEY: ... =glances down at the rice krispie- aight, how strong is this stuff?

ROSE: Thank you.

MEULIN: I MEAN... IT'S A WHOLE KRISPIE...

MEULIN: (ฅ•ᆺ•ฅ)

JOHN: - only took a bite of his and put the rest wrapped up in his pocket-

JOEY: since when can people fly??

JOHN: it's not such a weird thing where we come from.

MEULIN: OH YEAH, PEOPLE FLY AROUND ALL THE TIME.

JOEY: i come from earth. this earth! everything is weird to me!

MEULIN: ARADIA HAS THESE TOTALLY BALLER WINGS, AND SO DOES MY BOSS ANGER STARE.

JOEY: anger....stare....

ROSE: Redglare.

JOHN: but like... if we had somewhere to land it, i could use wind currents to bring down the zep. maybe rose's psiionics could steady the landing.

MEULIN: (●ↀωↀ●)

ROSE: I am a psionic, of sorts. -Little finger sparks to demonstrate...-

MEULIN: BUT THEN WE WILL ALSO HAVE TO KILL WHOEVER IS ON BOARD! PURRBABLY.

MEULIN: RIGHT?

JAMISON: Probably!

JOEY: =whispers to meulin= (why is redstare so mad?)

JOHN: wow haha... settle down there.

JAMISON: Or capture them HAW!

JOHN: we don't have to kill anyone.

JOEY: =JUST....WATCHING THE SPARKS....LIKE ITS A NORMAL OCCURRENCE!=

MEULIN. -fails to whisper back- I THINK SHE HAS A BAD DAY, BUT LIKE, EFURRY DAY. WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING NICE FOR HER LATER.

MEULIN: -considers giving her boss weed... hmm-

JOEY: =gasps= does she like desserts? what about one of your riceweedies?

MEULIN: YES. I AM UPVOTING THIS PLAN.

JOHN: ok all in favor of trying to steal the zep say aye.

MEULIN: AYYYY ELL EM AY OH!

JOHN: that works.

JAMISON: AYE AYE!

JOEY: okay if you know what youre doing! :D

JOHN:... but we're not going to kill anyone unless they try to kill us first. - STERN GLANCING. -

MEULIN: OKAY CAPTAIN JOHN!

JOHN: - makes a face. don't even joke about that. he wants to hide behind rose. -

ROSE: And we should kidnap a... are we really going with Zombie? As a name?

MEULIN: -what?? IS HE NOT THE ZEPPELIN CAPTAIN AND/OR TEAM CAPTAIN?? JEEEEEZ-

JAMISON: I haven't the slightest what the devil else to call them.

MEULIN: I AM ALSO VOTING FOR "SQU33BS."

JOHN: hey we can knock out two birds with one stone. there has to be a pilot, right?

ROSE: Yes, but I doubt the people down here are running anything of importance.

ROSE: I mean, look at them.

MEULIN: CATCH ONE SQU33B, HOP ON BLIMP, NYOOM OFF INTO THE SUNSET.

JOHN: maybe the pilot will know more. - head scratcher-

JAMISON: By the time you all have the zeppy down Meulin and I should have one secure.

MEULIN: YUP!!

JOHN: alright. that works too!

JOEY: =starts singing, clapping john on the back= 

JOEY: she says that my life is over 

JOEY: "boy you don't know what you got till it's gone 

JOEY: come put your head upon my shoulder" 

JOEY: she gave me her hand but i ignored her 

JOEY: oh dr. john 

JOEY: what am i doing 

JOEY: what am i doing i wrong? 

JOEY: cuz i keep on trying 

JOEY: something ain't going 

JOEY: something ain't going on 

JOEY: oh dr. john

JOHN:... - THIS CHILD. he loves her already-

MEULIN: -she would sway but she has no idea this is a song-

JOHN: - pushes her playfully- get back jojo!

JOEY: =im 37 my dude=

JOHN: - he has no idea-

JOHN: - you're like 10+ years older than him-

JOEY: =theres probably something in grubloaf tbh=

JAMISON: =PLUS GOOD GENES=

JOEY: =aww you say that cuz im your kid=

JAMISON: =Also he and Jojo have THE BEST GENES. Spry old folks=

JOEY: =that she wont deny=

[gulescamisade]

New York:  Day 1

[ Towers loom overhead, bright red thorny spires, bilboards plastered with brightly-illuminated advertisements for alien foods written in scrawling alternian scripts. All of them promising THE GREATEST TASTES, the ULTIMATE FOOD EXPERIENCE, TEN THOUSAND PERCENT EATS!!!! NONE HUNGER AND ALWAYS THE FEEDED! The urban sprawl seems to know no end, streets packed with despondant looking humans, some of whom have unhealthy, pale-gray skin and weird little growths on their foreheads. Somewhere in the distance, glamorous spotlights shine high into the night. A massive blimp hovers overhead. It reads: WELCOME TO FLAVORTOWN. ]

[ The experience is jarring and they are immediately struck by a wave of sensations. Bright lights, intense odors, and, soon enough, the feeling of being dumped onto hard, cold pavement. Rose, John, Kankri, Gamzee, Meulin, Jamison, Jolene, Dualscar, Jude and Joey all find themselves met with the same rude awakening, scattered down a block labeled in jarring neon lights, UMAMI. ]

JOEY: =oof!! It hasn't been one of her better landings...= 

JOEY: where the HELL are we?

ROSE: -she answers by way of promptly throwing up in the gutter.-

JUDE: -OH GOD OH MAN OH GOD OH MAN-

JAMISON: OOF, =still holding his babies and STANDS= WHAT THE JIMJAM FLIMFLAM IS THIS RASSAFRASSING TOMFOOLERY!??!

JAMISON: =scampers in place holding two grown adults.... oh there are others here= Everyone grab a rifle I've got plenty strapped to my body!

MEULIN: -YOWLS and sticks the landing on her feet, puffed up and claws out. WHO MUST SHE BRAWL.-

ROSE: -this city is sure hell for someone with a migraine. awesome.-

ROSE: -She's just gonna lay down and drape an arm over her eyes because this is way too much to process.-

ROSE: -she's CRACKLING A LITTLE with all kinds of weird energy right now.-

JOHN: mother....fucker. -grunts, rolling around a little because his knees are stinging. but he recovers quickly, floating up to his feet and whizing around.- hey, is everyone okay?

ROSE: I am going to take every liberty to not be okay right now.

ROSE: I'd really like that.

ROSE: For a second.

KANKRI: -Unceremoniously dumped into the street on the alien to him planet by a zap of green energy, its very alarming, hes frazzled, but the moment he hears John his head is snapping in that direction.-

JOEY: =To rose= heyyyy youre kinda staticky...

JOHN: yeah -blinking in the harsh light. ugh. this is tacky. earth has really gone to shit, hasn't it?-

JOHN: but i mean no one has broken bones or anything, right?

ROSE: I.

ROSE: I know.

ROSE: No, I didn't-- break anything.

ROSE: I just...

ROSE: Fuck.

ROSE: FUCK.

JOHN: -lands- rose?

ROSE: Do you recall a number of childish beliefs held by myself and perhaps others? That-- that I am some manner of machiavellian genius, carefully placing my pieces on a chessboard? ROSE: Because it's wrong. It's fucking wrong. We were used. I was used. She--

ROSE: God DAMN it.

JOHN: -just...keeps apparoaching her, not bothering to comment because he doesn't know what she's talking about. he just puts his hand on her shoulder, despite the sparks.-

ROSE: -she's kinda crying a little bit under that arm, turns out. She leans into John. A throbbing ache in her head, a deep pit of guilt in her stomach, and that inescapable feeling of betrayal. All of it. She eventually just clings to him, throwing her arms around his shoulders.-

JOHN: -Holds her tightly like 8( 'cause what else can he do? He glances around at everyone else for a moment and then focuses on patting Rose on the back as she sobs.-

JOEY: D:

KANKRI: -Oh, Rose looks in really bad shape. ):B -

[The faint smell of chipotle seasoning and deep fried fat waft through the air. The pale figures on the street seem anxious, but not at these strangers arrival. No, it's something more. Some wear fake smiles, painted into their faces, trying to seem joyous despite the nightmare everyone is in.]

JOHN: -At least comforting Rose gives him something else to focus on because this is REALLY DISTURBING.-

JOEY: um.... =pats Jude a bit urgently= um.... =points??=

JAMISON: =This is unsettling! He focuses on his glasses and IMMEDIATELY gets out his potato-zooka= Should we wipe out the left or right first?

JOHN: hey woah wait. they're not hurting us.

JOHN: -why are you always so TRIGGER HAPPY?-

JOHN: -still has Rose tucked in his arm.-

JAMISON: Can't say I'm so found of... pasty possible hostiles but I'll keep an eye on them..... =Squints=

KANKRI: -Hes eyeing Jamison so hard, he remembers this human, he does not like this man. Although yes, the sense of unease radiating from the people around them is quite terrible.- I d9nt 6elieve they are h9stiles th9ugh.

ROSE: -She sniffs, taking a deep breath.- ROSE: -Then she wipes at her eyes with her hands, messily.- ROSE: They look human enough.

KANKRI: In fact t9 them we might 6e the h9stiles c9nsidering we are the 9nes wh9 suddenly appeared 9n their sidewalk. -Looks around at their new surroundings again.-

JOHN: -studies them. He's been a doctor long enough to tell that they look unhealthy. Is it lack of nutrition combined with some sort of mutation?-

JOHN: poor guys...

MEULIN: -growling softly.- SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH THIS PLACE... IT SMELLS... WRONG.

JAMISON: =Rose looks sad.... he gives her a homemade shrapnel granade= Alright then.... I suppose the zombies have clearance....

JOHN: -takes a deeper whiff and sneezes-

JOHN: smells spicy!

JOHN: -pulls a multi colored chain of hankerchiffs out of his sleeve and offers it to Rose with the intent of cheering her up A LITTLE BIT.-

ROSE: -what the fuck, jamison-

ROSE: -ok-(edited)

KANKRI: -Zombies.... Please.- I d9nt think any9ne w9uld appreciate 6eing called that, dispite h9w 9utwardly appearing unwell.

JOEY: whatever it is my creep-o-meter is skyrocketing

JOHN: let's not argue over semanticss guys. we should focus on the big picture here.

JAMISON: =IT'S FOR COMFORT=

[ Overhead, and paying them no mind, robotic drones rocket with a piece of NEW construction. A large screen of some kind, already busily welding it to the side of a building. It flickers to life, soon cycling a brand new advertisement:  http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/seriouslytheworst/images/f/fd/Banner2.gif/revision/latest?cb=20150919122657 ]

JOHN: -wrinles his nose at this rampant commercialism- ew....

JOEY: thats it 

JOEY: i must be dreaming

KANKRI: -John is this really what earth advertising is like?-

JAMISON: =SQUINTS???/?=

JOHN: -Well tbh...yes-

KANKRI: -Thats so sad... No wonder these mutated earthlings look tormented.-

[ YOU WON'T BELIEVE ]

ROSE: -She's sitting up and composed herself a little bit, now just sitting on the sidewalk.-

JOHN: -hovers around her because he feels protective but his general uneasiness wants them to get moving.. .SOMEWHERE instead of just standing here like sitting ducks- i guess we should try to find out where we are and maybe try to contact the others?

JOHN: does anybody's comm work? mine doesn't.

ROSE: I'm trying to think.

ROSE: I'm not sure. I might have fried it.

[IT'LL FIT RIGHT IN]

[FRIED THING!!!! $5.95!!!! FRY ANY THING THAT FITS IN THE FRIER! FRY YOUR BABY!!!!!! $5.95!!!!!!!]

MEULIN: RRR... SOMEONE CAN TRY MINE. -uncaptchalogues hers and holds it out to anyone-

JOHN: :/

MEULIN: I'M GOING TO K33P MY NOSE OUT.

ROSE: -she reaches for it, and checks it.-

ROSE: Oh.

MEULIN: -wrinkling said nose-

KANKRI: -Shuffles a bit closer to peep at what Rose is typing, and also just to be closer to john.- 9h, it d9es w9rk. Thats g99d.

JOHN: -also 👀 also hello Kankri he's going to sling his arm around your waist because this SUCKS BALLS.-

KANKRI: -Hes glued to your side now, John.-

JOHN: -It's fine. As far as tumors go, you're pretty benign. He peeps on what Rose is doing.-

JOHN: any luck?

KANKRI: -Tumors....-

KANKRI: -Yeah alright fair that is him.-

ROSE: Vriska stole the ship.

ROSE: Fairly incompetently.

JOHN: ...pfffft... WHAT? -LAUGHING-

ROSE: She's arguing with HAL, right now...

JOHN: oh my gosh. i am going to give her such a punch.

ROSE: And she is losing.

JOHN: can you pass that message on for me?

JOHN: right in the face. boom.

KANKRI: -Hes frowning.- 9h dear... that d9esn't s9und all that funny 9r like light hearted material c9nsidering 9ur situati9n.

JOHN: well i really do mean it. she is kidnapping my baby technically. but what else did you find out/

ROSE: I'd rate it as a three, compared to the seven that is a hamburger with eyeballs.

ROSE: Dirk is in Texas.

ROSE: And... other people are elsewhere. Information is still a bit disoragnized.

JOHN: -snorts again. Sorry guys. This is his reaction to pain.-(edited)

JOHN: i hope everyone's ..at least as relatively ok as we are.

ROSE: Relatively.

ROSE: ...See if Jamison or Jolene can't look at your coms. I think mine will recover when I can... get ahold of myself.

KANKRI: Again, an9ther p9sitive.

JOHN: things could be a lot worse! -gonna pass his comm along to Jamison-

JAMISON: =was already fiddling with things but he'll fiddle MORE and FIX UP John's comm=

JOHN: -sighs a little as he hands it over.- i hope jade is alright...and the babies.

JOHN: she was all...weird right before we teleported.

JOHN: growling and stuff.

KANKRI: Yes, indeed. -Hes also going to fish out his device and look it over to be certain it still is working.-

KANKRI: Als9 9h... Well ideally they all will 6e just fine.

KANKRI: -Hes so bad at comforting right now, hes a failure.-

JOLENE: -currently barking and flipping her shit, too busy to be helpful mostly because I'm doing too much at once-

JOEY: so i take it jade isnt normally like that

ROSE: No.

ROSE: She's not.

JUDE: -HOWEVER, he's grumbling something about kids being fine-

JOEY: ah

JUDE: -while hunched over his comm which does work-

JOHN: -rubs the back of his neck, frowning and looking around. he feels restless.-

JAMISON: =hands John back his comm GOOD AS NEW... maybe even better. Definitely better it has a GUN feature now=

JAMISON: There you go! :D

JOHN: -????????????-

JAMISON: =He had it for 2 minutes=

JOEY: =comfort pat on Jude's back???=

JUDE: -GOOD PLAN-

JOHN: -HE WILL PROBABLY NEVER USE THIS BUT HE SAYS THANK YOU ANYWAY. -

JOHN: -he'll get dirk to install a child safety lock when he gets back home >>-

JUDE: -STARES AT JOEY WIDE EYED- ... I...

JUDE: I told her... that the head set... -looks down at his comm again- I guess it doesn't matter now

ROSE: What?

ROSE: What are you talking about?

ROSE: -Sits up, from being all hunched over her com.-

JUDE: ... jane's head set

JUDE: I thought... because it was crocker corp technology

JUDE: they could use it to get to us somehow... track our location... or worse

JUDE: and worse happened

ROSE: -she just scowls.-

ROSE: Mm.

MEULIN: WAIT, WHAT?? -looks around for whoever's speaking. her sunglasses aren't exactly being clear on who this is yet.-

MEULIN: WHAT HAPPENED EXACTLY?

JOEY: :(

JOEY: jude was right...again

ROSE: You can have this back. -She holds the device over to her.- ROSE: We were used.

ROSE: I don't know if she was in on it somehow, or—

ROSE: I don't know. ROSE: This is too much.

ROSE: Everything is... too much.

JOHN: we can't think about that right now. -nudges her.-

JOHN: let's focus on what we can control.-

ROSE: Right.

ROSE: We need a way to get out of here. Meet up with the others.

ROSE: And we need a place to rest and take stock of what we've got.

MEULIN: -puts the device back up- THE SMELL OF THIS PLACE... IS GIVING ME A WICKED BAD HEADACHE. (^>ｪ<^)

ROSE: -She wipes her eyes one last time and rises to her feet.- It's pretty intense. And... sustained.

JOHN: -UGH YEAH ME TOO. it's actually worse than he wants to admit because of sensory stuff but HE'S STAYING STUBBORNLY. OPTIMISTIC. he uncapatchas a little tub of ....Vicks of all thing sand takes a BIG WHIFF.- mmm.....okay thats' better.

JOHN: -dabs it on his upper lip right below his nostrils-

KANKRI: Hm. D9 we even have any exact idea 9f where we are currently l9cated?

KANKRI: 6esides in an ur6an setting surr9unded 6y seemingly thrilled individuals, wh9 I d9nt necessarily 6elieve are as happy as they appear...

JOHN: yeah this is some 1984 bullshit if i ever saw it. looks like they're really on board with big brother.

JOHN: bitch couldn't even be original about how she fucked up my planet. -sighs-

JOHN: maybe we could ask one though?

ROSE: ...I...

ROSE: Don't think this one was ever on the maps, before.-

ROSE: -she points towards the sky, where the massive blimp looms, reading WELCOME TO FLAVORTOWN.-

KANKRI: 6ig 6r9ther... are y9u meaning t9 say and 9r ass9ciate it with the phrase that in turn means the "9ver watching presence" 9f a higher c9rp9rati9n 9r g9vernment, usually in a negative 9r c9rrupted light?

KANKRI: -Also looks where Rose is pointing and oh what do you know. They are in Flavortown.-

JOHN: well, apparently we're in flavortown, i guess. -rolls eyes-

JOHN: juts saying it makes me feel dirty.

KANKRI: -Side eyes John.- That is an 9dd reacti9n t9 have t9 a name 9f a city.

KANKRI: Alth9ugh I have t9 agree with R9se, I d9nt remem6er ever learning a69ut a city named as such in my studies 9f Earth. Alth9ugh I c9uld have easily missed it if its n9t m9re significant.

JOEY: im gone for what? ten years?

JOEY: everythings changing!

JOHN: i feel you, kiddo.

JOHN: i wanted to show you guys my room! my old psoters are still up in there.

JOHN: i think?

JOEY: =KIDDO....im almost 40= eheeheehee

JOHN: -he walks up to some of the advertisements, studying closely and trying to read some of the SIGNAGE. he can understand Alternian, at least if that's what the troll script is.-

JOHN: -he's hoping there's one of those cheesy maps with the YOU ARE HERE arrows or osmething.-

[ John does manage to see this ]

http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/seriouslytheworst/images/1/1c/Chart-mooo.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/640?cb=20150920192938

JOEY: RUMP!

[It doesn't seem as if anyone is interested in speaking to them, much less harming them. If anything, everyone around is too busy trying to look mirthful, as if they hope it's sufficient enough. The city streets aren't busy, but there are definitely plenty of alley ways, a couple even with barrel fires in them.]

JOHN: -HES' GETTING EDUCATED ABOUT MEAT BUT NOT WHERE THEY ARE, NECESSARILY-

KANKRI: -Barrel fires are not exactly safe. Someone could fall in or they could be knocked over or filled with dangerous burning products.-

JOHN: -don't worry kankri, he won't let anyone stuff you into a burning barrel.-

KANKRI: -WELL HE WASNT THINKING ABOUT THAT.-

JOHN: -okay well his comm is working. what if he just tries...Troogle Maps?-

KANKRI: -But that would be a concern.-

JOHN: -It's only an issue if you're tiny and perfectly barrel sized-

KANKRI: -John has thought about this too much.-

[If John checks Troogle maps, he will find that they are somewhere near the New York /Canada border]

JOHN: -Sighs, taking a screen shot so he doesn't have to waste so much battery. Then he shows it to Rose.-

ROSE: Oh.

ROSE: ...

ROSE: This is. Kind of near where I used to live.

JOHN: oh! wow! really?

ROSE: We're about six miles from Niagra Falls.

JOEY: =looks around, surprised= really??

ROSE: Yeah.

ROSE: That can't be right.

JOHN: how come?

ROSE: Because it...

ROSE: Just doesn't make much sense? I mean, I admit, my knowledge of this area is approximate and only half-remembered, but...

ROSE: Look at how far this city extends.

ROSE: Look at the size of these buildings! ROSE: There's no industry or exploitable resource here. The falls are a tourist attraction.

JOEY: because...! =gestures at....everything.=

JOHN: -bites his lip- extreme urban sprawl.

ROSE: Well, yes. To a cartoonish degree. Which I do admit is a bit... appropriate, in the presence of certain elements.

ROSE: -She poitns to another sign.- http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/seriouslytheworst/images/9/97/YUMEE.png/revision/latest?cb=20150919122142

ROSE: But still.

JOHN: -he desperately wants to graffiti on all this crap. and maybe take a leak on it for good measure.-

JOHN: >:/

JOEY: you alright there john buddy

JOHN: oh yeah. i just got my dander up.

[And yet it exists. All of it. Spicily, and v eerily the buildings loom over them. An almost palpable haze of grease in the air. Not mention the numerous neon signs. A new one was being attached to an adjacent building right at this moment. An unsettling picture of Guy Fieri upon. GUYS BIG BITE. SEASON PREMIERE LIVE FROM FLAVORTOWN. Wednesday at 8pm est/7pm cst]

ROSE: -SQUINTS-

JOHN: -PARTICULARILY REPULSED BY THIS IMAGE.- it's like the batterwitch's floury fingerprints on everything.

JOHN: sliding down your back.

JOHN: -shivers-

MEULIN: .... WHO THE FURK IS GUY?(edited)

KANKRI: -Squints up at the billboard as well.- I am als9 c9nfused as t9 wh9 this is.

JOHN: -turns away from it pointedly.- so what do you think rose? is it worth it to try and find your old house?

ROSE: No.

ROSE: No, I doubt there's anything left.

ROSE: We should just find someplace to sleep where no one will ask us any questions.

ROSE: ...Not that they appear to be willing to.

JOHN: hmm. - scratches chin and troogle maps again. this times for subways... and not the kind that sell sandwiches. -

[Closed and currently being filled with buffalo wing queso]

JOHN: -he's mad because he's disappointed but that sounds delicious-

[gulescamisade]

MN, Ground:  Day 22, Concert Broadcast

DIRK: -tonight is the night of the concert... but he's been stuck in bed, having run out of mindless tasks to occupy himself with. somebody can probably roll him to the living room later... for now, he turns the pendant around between his fingers over and over while staring up at the ceiling.-

RUFIOH: -large wing swoops by the window. Somebody's taking a flight outside, it looks like.-

KANKRI: -Is he leaving forever?-

DIRK: -stares out the window then. look at him go.-

RUFIOH: -lands in some tree and kicks back. Casually lighting himself some nip... before raising it to acknowledge that he DOES see Dirk.-

DIRK: .... -looks back up at the ceiling for a second, then crawls out of bed to open up the window and peep at rufioh-

DIRK: Hey.

RUFIOH: -takes his time with the hit before breathing out.- sup, man... long t1me, no see.

DIRK: No joke. I was expecting it to be longer.

DIRK: How did you even get here?

RUFIOH: mm.

RUFIOH: 1t's got to do w1th mak1ng we1rd acqua1ntances on avalon... and some portal hopp1ng? that sh1t was pretty scary...

RUFIOH: but next th1ng 1 knew, 1 was on the sh1p. and then breach1ng the atmosphere on one of those... emergency pods...

RUFIOH: flew the rest of the way. fast, h1gh, qu1et to myself so nobody saw me.

RUFIOH: met up w1th the folks 1n earth canada... now 1'm here.

DIRK: -raises brows- Damn. You've had one hell of a journey.

DIRK: It's good to see you again. Just a shame it has to be under these conditions. -leans a little heavily on the window frame-

RUFIOH: yeah... -eyeballs him a lil, flicking the cig.- some scar that's gonna be.

DIRK: -grunts- Pretty cool, huh? -barely even trying to sound like he believes that-

RUFIOH: looks pa1nful. -rises to stand on the branch again.- wanna hang?

DIRK: -pauses for a second. he wasn't really expecting to be asked that.- Uh... -but he wants to lay in bed all day???-

DIRK: Yeah. Sure.

RUFIOH: -gestures for him to follow and then flaps all the way up to the lake house roof. Bird perch.-

ARADIA: -standing in the doorway of the room dirk is in. like a normal person does for long periods of time-

DIRK: -he definitely doesn't have the energy to scale the house right now.... THOUGH HE IS FULLY CAPABLE... anyway, he turns so he can make his way to the stairs that lead to the roof's terrace, only to see aradia.-

DIRK: -JUMPS- Shit-- How long have you been standing there?

ARADIA: a while

DIRK: -makes a face-

DIRK: Well, I'm heading up to the roof to hang out with Rufioh. You wanna join? -starts shuffling around her-

ARADIA: -lets him shuffle around her without moving out of the way before turning to follow him- okay

DIRK: -geez, aradia... well, there he goes, ascending to the floor and looking around for rufioh-

RUFIOH: -just sitting up there, cross-legged and having himself a smoke. It just so happens that it's also been a while since Rufioh saw Aradia around. He eyes her, surprised but also not surprised to see her.- sup meg1do.... been a wh1le.

ARADIA: -follows behind dirk and smiles at rufioh, waving- ill say

ARADIA: its about time you got here :D

RUFIOH: 1 was tak1ng 1t easy, 1 guess... but not too easy. -Join him. Sit with him.- 1 have a wr1ggler.

TAVROS & GAMZEE: =They are a ways from the safehouse people are in, in apparent conversation. Tavros' shoulders are slouched, head turned away from the other troll while they talk. Gamzee stands taller, and is using his hands while he speaks. Sometimes Tavros looks back at him, at the hands, fidgets, and looks away. Gamzee's body language seemingly growing more frustrated, hands waving a bit in the air while struggling on what to say. Then placing a finger to his own temple. It makes Tavros look back at him, and they both stand still. More fidgeting from Tavros, and he rubs the back of his neck. Whatever they are talking about don't seem particularly comfortable for either party.=

RUFIOH: -peeks from the roof... concerned.- }:(

DIRK: -glances over at them as well, brows furrowed, but takes a seat with rufioh for now.- You do?

ARADIA: -she plops down next to rufioh- tell me everything

RUFIOH: oh yeah... he's th1s egg 1 found when a y1pbeast tr1ed gett1ng away w1th 1t for lunch... 1 guess from the hatch1ng caverns on avalon.

RUFIOH: d1dn't know what else to do w1th h1m except... keep h1m unt1l he hatched? 1 d1dn't th1nk he would anyway.

RUFIOH: now he's just k1nd of... eat1ng everyth1ng 1n s1ght, haha.

RUFIOH: h1s name 1s em1let... l1l egg bro. }:)

ARADIA: thats great! where is he now

ARADIA: on the ship?

TAVROS & GAMZEE: =Tavros' mouth is moving, and whatever he is saying is making Gamzee's hands drag down his face. Drags, then a rub, and he shakes his head. He waves his hands around again, and Tavros' shoulders grow tense. The bull troll makes a vauge handgesture to all of Gamzee, then inclines his head to the side before shaking it. A brief laughter, uncomfortable and uncertain. Gamzee lets out a frustrated noise followed by a loud "ain't you a fucking doctor or no?" that sounds both angry and confused. He's turning away and motions to move, but Tavros grabs his shoulder before he can. There's silence again, then Tavros speaking with his head ducked. Gamzee still appears stressed, hands in tight fists, but then easing.=

RUFIOH: yeah, he's... safe. -eyes this conversation with more concern.- }:((

ARADIA: -also watches in front of them. that looks about right- im glad you could join us

DIRK: ...

DIRK: -glances at rufioh- Do you know what's up with all that? -gestures to tavros and gamzee talking-

RUFIOH: -looks off, avoiding his eye. Dragging the cig more.- not sure...

TAVROS & GAMZEE: =They're standing close, Tavros doing most of the talking by the looks of it. No doubt rambling by the way his mouth moves. The hand holding Gamzee's shoulder is gradually tightening until Gamzee has placed his on top of it, gently prying it off. He pats it, and Tavros withdraws his hand. Gamzee watches him while Tavros avoids his eye, looking down and shrugging. The capricorn rubs one eye with his palm as they both continue to stand there in silence, then reaches out to unfittingly give Tavros a playful shove to the shoulder. It makes Tavros take a step back, surprised, but he's looking up again. Gamzee says something, Tavros lets out a faint laugh, but at least it has a twinge of humor to it even if it's half hearted. He says something back, taking a step to return the shove, then the two of them walk further away from the house together.=

MEULIN: -She's watching this herself from inside, tail swishing contemplatively. She should talk to Gamzee later...-

ARADIA: -it's always a relief to be completely sure that they're in the right place, and even little things like this are enough evidence. she watches them walk off, her wings fluttering while she sits- guessing in order to fill in the blanks sometimes feels better than just not knowing

ARADIA: but it can also be completely wrong and steer you away from your original purpose -aradia tf you talking about-

DIRK: -watches them walk away, relieved they seem to have worked out whatever was going on with them, before looking at aradia.- ...

DIRK: I see.

RUFIOH: -side eyes her before frowning.- ...

RUFIOH: 1'd rather not... be left to f1ll the gaps. but that's just me.

ARADIA: i think most people feel that way

DIRK: -goes quiet after that. unfortunately, he's got too many unfilled blanks in his thoughts right now, and his mind can't help but guess. he just wishes it did make him feel better.-

RUFIOH: -passes dirk the blunt. He feels him thinking.-

DIRK: -hey, maybe that will make him feel better.- Thanks.

DIRK: -accepts it and takes a hit, staring off at the landscape.-

ARADIA: theres something about earth that feels worth saving

ARADIA: and i dont know what makes the distinction

DIRK: -stares at her- Was that ever a question?

ARADIA: -shakes her head- ARADIA: i mean that theres something

ARADIA: special about it

ROSE: -She's down in the lower floor, having set up some kind of large whiteboard with some dry-erase markers. Some kind of chart, at a glance, though no one's going to see the details til later, when they come back down.-

RUFIOH: what k1nd of spec1al? 1 mean... -brings his knees up to rest his chin on.-

RUFIOH: 1f you're go1ng out of your way to ment1on 1t... the spec1alness.

RUFIOH: compared to every other place people have tr1ed sav1ng.

ARADIA: thats what im wondering

ARADIA: it seems to have something the other planets dont

ARADIA: given the extent of the conquest

RUFIOH: not sure 1f that makes me feel better... -sighs-

ARADIA: -looks over at rufioh- doesnt have to

ARADIA: i just notice it you know?

RUFIOH: yeah... 1 know.

ARADIA: -softens her expression and just lightly touches his arm, silent.-

RUFIOH: -rumble rumble chirrs. A comforting sound.-

DIRK: -he has some ideas, but he already feels like enough of a downer, so he just glances off, exhaling smoke.-

ARADIA: -chirrs softly in response, only momentarily, hand still on his arm. sadness. pain. it's all inevitable at one point or another. but she will gladly sit with both of them for as long as they feel alone. now, she watches dirk-

DIRK: -the gaze seems to pressure him to speak and he huffs, passing the blunt back to rufioh.-

DIRK: I don't think special is the right word to describe Earth's role in all this.

DIRK: It implies there's some big cosmic scheme, putting this planet at the center of some kind of turning point in this war.

DIRK: But here's what makes it different from Beforus and Europa -- The Condesce already had control of it.

DIRK: Both of those planets were once a part of the Empire, or founded by former Alternians. Which means they seperated from the Condesce's regime, and at no point was she able to dig her claws into their government.

DIRK: She destroyed them to teach them a lesson. That they should've taken her side a long time ago.

DIRK: -sighs- Earth and humankind thought they had the upperhand after the War of Alternian Repression, but I wouldn't be fucking surprised if the empress "disappearing" was all just a ploy for her to give them a false sense of security, lure them into forming T.U.M.U.T. and then using her connections to Skaianet and Crocker Corp. to hallow Earth out from the inside while fucking up as much of the galaxy as possible through stooges like us who actually believed we were repairing the damages she had done.

ARADIA: youve thought this over a lot

ARADIA: youre doubting yourself again

DIRK: Doubting what? Those are just the facts. -seems irritated now...-

ARADIA: through stooges like us who actually believed we were repairing the damages she had done

ARADIA: what you said was full of facts and truth but thats what im talking about

MEULIN: -She's leaning out the window below them, just reading what's on her glasses. She doesn't want to climb up and interrupt... but listening is something she can do. Maybe it's mostly all she ever does. It's hard to have the power to help. Maybe that's what Dirk means, too.-

MEULIN: -She leans on the sill and sighs. She keeps telling herself that it doesn't matter how she feels, that she's here for everyone regardless... but being here isn't enough, either, and maybe it does matter how she feels. It matters enough to get in the way, after all.-

DIRK: I hate to break it to you, but that's as factual as anything else I said.

DIRK: We were used and we've been floundering to get back on our feet since then. Even with all this divine fucking intervention, we're as useless as we ever were. I shouldn't have believed there was any point in fighting.

DIRK: -he immediately regrets the words coming out of his mouth, if only because he doesn't want anyone to know he's thinking these things. he definitely doesn't want anyone to feel that way, too, so he gets up quickly so he can make his way back into the house.-

DIRK: ... Forget I said that.

ARADIA: -she's still trying to do her job, trying to keep them on track, but something in what he says stirs something that makes her eyes water even though she doesn't look sad in the slightest-

RUFIOH: -looks between Dirk and Aradia... not saying anything. He's not especially good at these things in the moment. Hell. He's notorious for making bad decisions on the subject if left to his own devices.-

RUFIOH: -but he does hold Aradia's hand. Just wordless about it.-

---

DIRK: -there he goes, DESCENDING THE STAIRS. he's upset, but instead of retreating back to his room, he paces through the house until he happens upon rose's white board.-

ROSE: -She seems to be sorting out members of the crew based on injury and ability...-

ROSE: -maybe not necessarily the BEST source of inspiration for a cause here-

ARADIA: -it's confusing sometimes, when she thinks she's entirely positive and certain of the route they take only to be reminded of all of the bad routes, the wrong ones. it's hard to remember. it's hard to cycle between feeling numb to it and not numb at all. she's not sure what part is making her feel to this extent, but her fingers intertwine with rufioh's and she tries to ground herself by focusing on the physical connection.-

RUFIOH: -He breathes out. Not knowing what's on her mind exactly... but hoping that even for a minute, reality will make sense if he just holds her hand. As they sit quietly, a breeze comes to ruffle their hair. It's nice.-

DIRK: -just kinda hovers there, reading over everything she has written down. he's awfully overwhelmed, but hey, he's here so he should get involved in the planning probably.-

SOLLUX: -He's inside, in a room on his own. Right now, it's where he wants to be. He doesn't think he can handle the thoughts and feelings of anyone else right now.-

JOEY: =she's downstairs with a mug of coffee in hand and slouching lazily in a chair near the whiteboard as she reads it over, ankles crossed.=

ROSE: -She glances at Dirk as he arrives.-

ROSE: Hello.

ROSE: I didn't want to sit around too long.

ROSE: I'm growing restless.

ROSE: I think this might be useful.

ROSE: At least. I know not everyone is in a strong enough condition to fight, when it comes down to it.

[[Out of nowhere, a wrapped sandwich hurtles from the minifridge and slaps Sollux on the side of his head. A water bottle also falls from the counter, rolling across the floor until it came to a stop at his foot.]]

ROSE: -She pays the sandwich NO MIND.- ROSE: Most of the crew presently stranded in Alaska-- though I believe they're on the move-- we are going to want to keep away from the action.

ROSE: We lost two up there. They've faced the harshest conditions out of anyone.

ARADIA: -it would be pretty difficult for anyone to guess what's on her mind--it's so complex and vast and endless--but rufioh's right in thinking that any sort of physical sensation is making everything feel that much more real. the breeze does. the sound of his breath. the way her palm feels pressed up against his. tension she didn't know was there in the first place starts to ease-

DIRK: -nods slowly- Right.

ROSE: -TAPS HER WAND AGAINST THE BOARD.-

ROSE: We can probably look them over individually when they arrive, and I'm certain Dave is going to want to be involved, but we are going to have to hedge our bets.

RUFIOH: -It's as easy as breathing out. When he catches her eye again, he manages a lopsided smile.-

RUFIOH: -ruffles her hair with his hand now.- heh.

ROSE: -She takes a deep breath..-

ROSE: My implants burned out and I'm not going to be able to do much of anything with my abilities in a fight. Everyone else here in our group is in decent enough health, though.

ROSE: Physically speaking.

ARADIA: -she gently laughs and uses her free hand to wipe away the tears on her cheeks- sorry ARADIA: not sure what happened there

RUFIOH: someth1ng crazy... but uh...

RUFIOH: 1mportant, 1 th1nk. 1t's 1mportant to talk about th1s sh1t... even 1f 1t's bad.

RUFIOH: to try... and a1r 1t out so 1t doesn't st1nk up your th1nkpan.

DIRK: -rolls his shoulders and finds a chair to pull over, taking a seat next to joey.- In case I forgot to mention, we're kinda holding an officer of the Alternian army hostage here.

DIRK: Her name is Lucana. She might be able to help us with infiltration or... something.

ROSE: Good to know.

ROSE: For what it's worth, of course. She's probably not anyone important—

ROSE: -pauses to glance at him.-

ROSE: At least, no one they'd hesitate killing alongside the rest of us if given the opportunity.

ROSE: -She sighs again, going back to the board.-

ROSE: Our two other assumptions are that we're going to have to work a goal within a timeframe.

ROSE: Freeing Jane and Jade. Orchestrating a prison break. If there's time, destroying the entire facility, but that's in the ideal scenario where we're all able-bodied and unobstructed by an army of drones and soldiers.

ARADIA: you think so? ARADIA: even when people wont understand?

ROSE: -She's starting to pace now, a little bit.-

ROSE: They don't know you have her, so... maybe you can use her clearance to get inside and find information.

ROSE: And the rest of us can... fuck, I don't know. Hold out. Until Hal can get the ship back to us, or... something.

DIRK: Sounds solid to me. -its ok, rose, his leg is bouncing and he's wondering why he bothered to sit down.-

JOEY: =Wordlessly turns her cup around and offers it to Dirk.=

ROSE: -nods a little bit...-

ROSE: I, um.

ROSE: Feel like I may be obligated to tell you that Jane offered...

ROSE: ...

ROSE: For me to join her. ROSE: It may be exploitable, tactically. ROSE: At least for the sake of isolating her from the facility.

DIRK: -takes the cup, perfectly timed to sip it at rose with raised brows-

DIRK: She contacted you specifically with an offer to join her?

ROSE: Yes.

JOEY: you didn't decline outright, did you? =tilts her head towards dirk= he's right, we could use something like this, but how do we know that they won't do the same funky headspace thing that happened to jane and jade. =she waved a hand around her head=

JOEY: jane wasnt ever like that in the time that i knew her. they did something to her that made her do all those things, i know it.

ROSE: Yes, I...

ROSE: Suppose.

ROSE: And the answer being, we don't really know that.

ROSE: It's a calculated risk. If they could have done it to more than just her and Jade, then why wouldn't they have?

JOEY: well not everyone is an heiress or has zappy powers

ROSE: Of course not. But there's got to be more to it than that. ROSE: They captured Jake and Roxy, but the two seem to be under their own power. If they're going to use them, why not use them?

ROSE: Unless they can't.

JUDE: -creeps up on this conversation- I can't say for certain about jade

JUDE: but jane? she's always carrying around crocker corp tech... I kept TELLING her to throw it away but of course she didn't

JUDE: -points to his head- the tiara top, specifically... I'm sure it's a mind control device that they could hack into directly and control her

JUDE: who's to say they haven't done that with their prisoners by this point? I'm not sure why they captured them but maybe they're using them for something we just don't know about... something they're doing privately at the facility while jade and jane do the dirty work...

ROSE: Well.

ROSE: I wouldn't doubt that.

ROSE: Even if it's somewhat of a stretch to think that everyone is entirely enthralled.

DIRK: -grunts- She's probably usin' them for their abilities. Roxy can make shit outta nothingness. Jake can pretty much manipulate anything so long as he believes it's true.

DIRK: I figure she just doesn't need the rest of us. That's what makes Jane's proposal so strange to me.

DIRK: It might suggest she still has her own agency despite the mind control, if she wants to recruit folks from our crew. It must not have been in the empress' plan.

SOLLUX: -belated but WTF SANDWICH AND WATER OUTTA NOWHERE.-

SOLLUX: -his head jerks up almost immediately as it plaps him- g0d damn it t—

SOLLUX: ...

ROSE: ...

ROSE: Well, uh.

ROSE: Yes.

ROSE: I think that was definitely a part of it.

JOEY: =just...absorbs all of this before mumbling to herself= (how did my original timeline turn into one with teenage mutant ninja turtles?)

DIRK: - ... 👁️ 👁️-

ROSE: -stop....-

DIRK: -SIPS MORE- Cool.

DIRK: So we get Rose to seduce Jane.

MEULIN: -peeks in at this- OH???

MEULIN: 👁️ 👁️

ROSE: -NO-

ROSE: That.

ROSE: Really won't be necessary.

ROSE: I'm just going to take her up on her offer.

ROSE: And she'll know that something is up, because of a familiarity with me.

ROSE: ...

ROSE: And on account of that, I already know that she knows.

ROSE: Which gives me an advantage.

JOEY: =snickers=

ROSE: And. Is not seduction.

RUFIOH: -also peeking from a window to gaze.- 👁️ 👁️

JOEY: if you decide to go undercover, you might have to do things undercover

JOEY: you know

JOEY: to prove youre one of them

JOEY: =takes her coffee from dirk to sip it before handing it back to him=

ROSE: I think this was the exact reason I didn't want to share this potentially significant information in the first place.

ROSE: No.

DIRK: -😏-

JOEY: no ones gonna judge you, if you were worried

MEULIN: -while they keep talking, she's sniffing around the room... and then lifts open the window if it's not already open-

JOEY: ;)

ROSE: Oh mygod.

MEULIN: -HUP. She jumps out of the window. She's gone.-

ROSE: -looks out the window-

ROSE: -...why.......-

RUFIOH: -Meu why.-

MEULIN: -DONT WORRY. She's just heading for the lake!!-

JOEY: =she looked up from her device and crossed the room, turning on the TV. Glancing down at her phone once more, she flipped to the channel shown. It appears to be a concert.=

DIRK: -YES IT'S TIME-

DIRK: -he was waiting for this-

TYRENA: -She's been scarce for most of the time they've been here... except now, with the TV on. She's still laying flat on the ground but she's listening closely.-

DIRK: -WATCHING TAKODA LIFTED HIS SPIRITS A LITTLE... that and teasing rose earlier. but hey.-

JOLENE: -SQUINTS AT THIS CLOWN ON THE TV-

SUMMONER: =He's out and about somewhere, doing god's knows what, but he has a feeling his kismesis is doing something that makes him feel human homosexual down in his soul. Clenches fist mid flight.=

JOEY: =holy shit who is that cute little carapacian?=

DIRK: - 👀 -

DIRK: -it's snans undertale-

DIRK: ...

DIRK: Holy shit.

DIRK: -BAFFLED BY THE MAYOR'S VOICE???-

JOEY: =Actually jumps in her seat when the VOICE happens.=

DIRK: -smiles softly at qirin with her drum... gosh-

SOLLUX: -just listening to this in the bg-

TYRENA: -still on the floor like a mummy, but she appreciates this. quietly.-

JUDE: -lurks when he hears penny's voice on the tv... wowee, there she is. he's a little starry eyed.-

DIRK: -watching this is getting him so hype??? it's nice to have something positive between the anxiety and the numbness whoo boy-

DIRK: -dammit... his parents are cute...-

DIRK: -somewhere out there, he knows dave is crying. haha wimp.-

DIRK: -wait fuck he's crying too-

JOEY: =sliiiiiiiiides over a tissue box=

DIRK: -ffffffff.... takes the whole tissue box. but he's trying to hold it in. ffs.-

DIRK: -he's getting chills... yes, this is exactly what he needed to lift his spirits. but it's getting late... he should probably rest if he wants to be useful at all... but he's so hype.-

EQUIUS: -There's the sound of gentle, but heavy, steps-

EQUIUS: D --> I heard a ruckus. Is everything okay -His veins are deep blue, clearly from the poison, however, he is looking better.-

JOEY: you're looking lively

JOEY: your crewmates have blatantly challenged aych eye see

JOEY: it was glorious

EQUIUS: D --> Dirk, who the heck is this tiny human

JOEY: excuse me, i'm above average height for human women

JOEY: you're just abnormally tall

DIRK: -looks back at equius- This is Joey Claire.

JOEY: :)

EQUIUS: D --> One of the human refugees we were transported for

DIRK: -nods- That's right.

EQUIUS: D --> Okay. I surmise we are in Minnesota now, I seem to remember hearing that

JOEY: yup! it's a state.

[gainfulgumption-blog]

JUDE: -it's broad daylight. he knows he shouldn't chance it, but the looming presence of a red building, mid construction by alternian carpenter droids, serves as a chilling reminder that his time here might be short. he has a lot to do, a lot to prep for.- JUDE: -he quickly crosses the yard, ducking into tesseract's old dog house (like he does every time) before peeking out and making one last mad dash into the manor. dust bursts in small clouds around his feet when he steps inside, hastily closing the glass doors behind him. he's in.- JUDE: -the ascent to the attic is the worst part. every creak in the stairway has him jumping, heart racing. it might be frustrating if he wasn't so used to living like this at this point. he knows it's entirely justified.- JUDE: -after reaching the top floor, the tugs on the rope cord that reveals the final set of steps into the attic. he hoards all manner of thing around the house, but this... this is where the most important piece of alien technology can be found: a cherubim portal to another world. that's what he speculated it to be, anyway, based on the snake like design twisting around the gateway. it's actually kind of depraved, given the context of cherub culture-- but now is not the time to think of that.- JUDE: -on and off for years now, he has been trying to get it to work. he isn't half the inventor his father was (is, he would adamantly insist if he were asked about it) but he had been studying all things cherub long enough to comprehend the machinics of this strange device better than most might.- JUDE: -last time he was here, he got it to turn on. a bright, otherworldly light swirled inside the gate, but it was no more telling than a map and gps projected on the control panel screen. obviously it was some kind of transporation device, but there had to be something more. he was keen on figuring that out right now, while he still had a moment of solitude.- JANE: -Now, honestly, what the hell was all this?- JANE: -She had been spending weeks -- no, months -- sorting out the various legalities and back end necessities that came with owning a baked goods empire. That was not even to mention the corporation's foray into experimental branches, the likes of which often had very little paperwork and very much technology involved.- JANE: -Of course, things like the Unreal Heiress Thoughtwave Tiaratop and the Junior Battermaster's Bowlbuster Stirring/Poking Solution 50000 made plenty enough sense to her, but things like the one in front of her now, the strange... what was it, an ancient doorframe? Those things just didn't make the cut in any sort of practical capacity.- JANE: -Well, at least not until she could figure out what exactly it was. And that was exactly what she was here to find out! Most of the inventions at least had some hint as to what they were, but this? It would almost looked like something that belonged in a medieval video game, if it weren't for things the satellite dishes at the top, perched in the mouths of those... coiling things.- JANE: -She stared at it from fifteen feet back for a good minute or so before signing and resolving that she wasn't going to make any progress like this -- she needed to tackle this beast head on. Even if it meant scaling every scaly inch of this thing!- JANE: -Or, at least, that was the thought process she had before climbing up a few steps and noticing the suddenly too-bright light that seemed to glimmer through the archway. Had it... reacted to her somehow? Could it be programmed that way?- JANE: -Perhaps it was a damnable curiosity that got the better of her, because it did still look so much like a doorway. She hauled herself up the final step, but the moment she could form the thought that the light suddenly felt almost tangible, it was hurtling her like a furious river, everywhere and nowhere at once.- JUDE:  -who knows what might have triggered the response. maybe he finally put in the right sequence of commands, or maybe it was a force entirely beyond his control. surely, he'd have a thousand theories once the dust cleared, but for now he could only find himself disarmed by the sudden whirr of the machinery, kicking up strange energies that encompass a large radius around the gate in shades of red and green. but there's nothing festive about the way it sends him reeling like a gust of wind, tumbling flat on his ass and stunned for a good long moment until he finds himself staring at... the haloed figure of another human being?- JANE: -She has to blink a few too many times, gasp the air back into her because it felt like she hadn't breathed for minutes, even though it couldn't have been more than a few seconds.- JANE: -But in that moment, she realizes she's not looking at the gate anymore. She's right at the top of those same stairs but facing the other way, like she's exiting, and there on the floor, a guy is staring at her behind thick glasses.- JANE: -And this is definitely not Crocker property.- JANE: Um. JANE: ... Who in the heck are you? -Nailed it.- JUDE: wha-- -fumbles to adjust his glasses, as if his sight might be failing him somehow, before scrambling to his feet.- who am I? who are YOU??? kitters - Today at 12:21 AM JANE: -Okay. That sure was a response. It seemed telling enough at least that he wasn't privy to what just happened, so she takes a few seconds to get a better look at her surroundings.- JANE: -It looks like she's in a house. A fairly nice one, all things considered. And... she's definitely stepping out of a doorway -- or rather, a gateway identical to the one in the storage facility.- JANE: I suppose I'm the current owner of... the other half of whatever this thing is. JANE: And... JANE: Very confused. JANE: And also named Jane Crocker. JUDE: crocker? -echos the surname, terrified to hear it at a time like this. but then it clicks -- jane. - JUDE: jane... I know you. you're... you're the heiress. -but didn't she go missing some time ago, aboard that TUMUT ship? he starts pacing, but keeps his eyes trained on her while he tries to piece this mystery together.- JUDE: where did you come from? -asks quickly, but then flails his hands and shakes his head.- I mean, where does this portal lead to? JANE: -Her brows knit, eyes trained on him as he seems to do a little anxious dance with... his entire body, there. Okay.- JANE: -She's not just the heiress anymore, naturally, but she doesn't feel like correcting him right now. There's more important stuff going on.- Well... JANE: The other half is in my facility. The Crocker Corp facility? The one I own. -OKAY, she said it. Sue her.- So I am sort of wondering why the other half of this teleporting doohickey is in your... is this an attic? JUDE: -stills for a moment. that didn't add up. not by his accounts. he paws at his glasses again, squinting at her from behind thick lenses.- ... when did you return to crocker corp? -he might sound like a crazy person, but if he does, then he really did have grounds to be suspicious.- JANE: Return? JANE: What is that supposed to mean? JANE: And who are you, anywho? JUDE: I can't-- tell you that JUDE: you were away? on a tumut ship JUDE: don't tell me the name "umbral ultimatum" doesn't mean anything to you JANE: Well I am sorry to say I don't have a single darn clue what it means, and you absolutely can tell me who you are! -She's just a little bit ruffled at that answer, stepping off the stairs and toward him -- no, around him, moving for the door.- JANE: I'm going to find out one way or another, thank you. JUDE: -bristles, jerking himself around to watch her move. he can't let her leave. opportunities like this don't just arise every day.- wait, wait JUDE: ... I'm jude JUDE: harley JUDE: jude harley -wringes his hands, wondering if she'll recognize the name. or if she'll pretend she doesn't, if she does...- JANE: -She pauses, turning to look at him.- JANE: Okay. And where exactly are we, Jude? JUDE: ... my house JUDE: well, it was my father's house JUDE: not that he ever used it JUDE: but that's... that doesn't matter -hand flail- JANE: -Okay... this guy... is kind of very strange. She is realizing this more with every passing moment.- I think it probably sort of matters? JANE: Did your father happen to enjoy stealing Crocker Corp property? JUDE: NO -oh oops. he didn't mean to raise his voice. he is disgruntled, though- JUDE: ... if anything it's the opposite JUDE: you... don't you recognize the name harley??? jamison harley maybe? JANE: -WOW. NOW HE IS GETTING ROWDY???- JANE: -She clears her throat.- No! I don't. JANE: Is there a reason I'm experiencing this insane interview at the moment? JANE: I don't know your father, I've never been on a ship in my life, and I have a baked goods business to pull out of the dregs, so would you kindly mind explaining possibly any of this?? JUDE: out of the dregs??? JUDE: I'd really like to make sense of... of all of this but nothing you're telling me is making any sense! JUDE: crocker corp is very literally taking over the world!!! they're even... even putting in a building just up the street from here JUDE: and you -POINTS- you disappeared months and months ago on the umbral ultimatum when they were declared war criminals! so unless someone pulled YOU from the dregs you absolutely did not teleport here from a crocker facility JANE: ... JANE: I am. JANE: Going to. JANE: Go. JANE: This way. JANE: -slowly turns and moves for the door again. She even grabs the handle... AND TURNS IT.- JUDE: no! wait, yes JUDE: fine go that way JUDE: then you can see what I'm talking about! with... with the building -the door leads to a short hall, which in turn leads to the stairway. jude is following whether she likes it or NOT.- JANE: -She REALLY DOESNT LIKE IT ACTUALLY. She's speed walking down this hall and down those stairs. Stop following her, dude!!!!- JANE: The building! Okay! JANE: -rapid thumping down these stairs!!- JUDE: -IT'S HIS HOUSE HE CAN GO WHERE HE WANTS. once they reach the end of the stairs, he pushes past towards the nearest window to draw back the curtains. they're very dusty.- hrrkk -SNEEZES- JUDE: look -rubs his nose on his sleeve and points outside. crocker corp, just in the distance.- JANE: -She really doesn't want to, but the mixture of curiosity and the desire to get this guy to stop heckling wins over all else, and she joins him at the window, rolling her eyes a little at his sneeze.- JANE: -Well. Before they focus on the very obvious red building in construction there.- JANE: ... What? I didn't sanction that... JUDE: yeah, that's what I thought -fixes another intense stare on her- JUDE: jane... you really don't know what I'm talking about at all, do you? JANE: -She looks right back at him again, her gaze more on the irritated end of intense.- One stray building isn't exactly the end of the world. -Except there was an odd feeling in the back of her mind. Her conversations with Dirk, the mysterious Rose... That maybe the things people whispered weren't quite so far fetched after all. But these other questions he asked, she didn't know what to make of them.- JUDE: ... they must have brain washed you JUDE: or... or something -he's back to pacing again- JUDE: I'm chosing to believe you aren't in on all this JUDE: even if you were brainwashed, it's not as if they can hide the effects of an entire war JUDE: hauntwitch is damn LUCKY it didn't get leveled by europans -he's rambling at that point, mostly to himself. there's something he's missing here. what's the answer to this riddle?- JANE: "They?" Who is this "they?" JANE: Europans...? JANE: This is ever increasing nonsense, I hope you realize. JUDE: ugh! the alternians! the condesce's followers inside crocker corp and skaianet JUDE: the same people who've been working to bring her back into power JUDE: and have SUCCEEDED, mind you! JUDE: she's out there somewhere right now with the most powerful entity in the universe BLOWING UP any planet that gets in their way of their agenda!!! -MORE WILD GESTURING. he's getting very worked up about this.- JANE: ... JANE: Okaaaay. JANE: Well. JANE: That is nice and all, but I should really be getting back now. JANE: I think I have heard just about enough of this hogwash for one day. JANE: -She's heading for the front door, now. She intends to head over to the Crocker building and see what's up.- JUDE: -watches her head down stairs instead of up, horrified.- wait, where are you going? -follows AGAIN- JANE: I think the actually reasonable thing to do in this situation is see what they're up to, and get myself back home! JANE: I hate to be the one to break it to you, but there is no war happening and I really need to be on my way. JUDE: how can you... urrrggh -think jude, THINK. what could possibly explain this? crocker corp... the condesce... at this point, why would they hide the war from her? if anything, they would need her cooperation. a cute face like her's as crocker's heir and mascot, rallying the people into compliance...- JUDE: -but then he recalls something from his aunt's notes regarding the nature of cherubs. their association with time and space. it might be a reach, but jude's theories have yet to fail him THUS far.- I know what it is JUDE: you're not from here! from this... this plane JUDE: yeah that has to be it JUDE: that portal... is a gate between two universes!!!! JANE: -She stops suddenly, taking in a deep breath and sighing it back out again.- JANE: And you're saying in this universe, my business is run by evil trolls who are taking over the world. JUDE: YES! that's exactly what I'm saying!!! -finally she's GETTING IT. or she's about to mock him again. either way, at least the information is getting across.- JANE: And the "real" Jane is supposed to be on some ship somewhere, frolicking around the galaxy? JANE: -She really wants to keep calling it an insane theory. Why do so many people seem to subscribe to it?? But then, she hasn't seen her father in so long... No, this can't be an explanation for that. She can't be brainwashed. It's just so...- JUDE: yes! yes... that would explain it JUDE: why you've lived a completely different life from... yourself JUDE: your other self JUDE: -fingers wiggle while he thinks- and now... and now... JUDE: if this is true then I need... I really need to bring this to my dad JUDE: or my aunt or someone, anyone JUDE: maybe even... james JANE: -looks over her shoulder at him and just. BB- JANE: James. JANE: ... JANE: James? JUDE: ... egbert JUDE: he's my cousin JUDE: and a skaianet spy JANE: Skaianet... JANE: ... Dirk. JANE: Wait. JANE: Explain. JUDE: uh... which part? JUDE: there's a lot to explain, you know, I need specifics -who tf is dirk- JANE: You said Skaianet spy. JANE: Skaianet is a scientific research development association... JUDE: that's what they WANT you to think JUDE: and sure, for a long time they were! until the alternians began trickling in their own imperial spies, reworking the company from the inside JUDE: they were too powerful for a full on attack, as per the norm for alternians at the time under the direction of the condesce JUDE: since that point, they started conducting a whole lot of dirty work... some working for the ideals of my father-- oh right, my father is the founder of skaianet by the way JUDE: and the others for the empire! JUDE: james is basically a double agent, right? he's... well I have no idea what he's up to these days JUDE: he might have left the company for all I know JUDE: he's harder to track then most.... -muttering to self again- JANE: -stares into camera while he mutters again....- JANE: And you've never heard of Dirk? Dirk Strider? JANE: The Skaianet employee? JUDE: dirk... strider? strider... strider... JUDE: yeah! i know that name JUDE: he worked on the umbral ultimatum too JUDE: -shakes his head- so... he worked for tumut, not skaianet JUDE: ... at least he did in THIS reality JANE: :| JANE: Okay... JANE: I think. JANE: I am going to need to resolve this one way or another. -uncaptchalogues her tiaratop- JUDE: -recoils- >:o JUDE: what is that JANE: It's a computer. JANE: -places it delicately on top of her head- I can talk to a friend with it. JANE: She claims to be staying with Dirk. So. JANE: Maybe we can sort out this whole kerfuffle once and for all, and inject some reality into this silly situation. JUDE: ... a crocker tech computer you wear on your head? JUDE: -grumbles- you're definitely being brainwashed then JUDE: -watches her with some interest, though. either this ends in their location being given away, or he gets some valuable information out of it. or both? probably both with HIS luck.- JANE: -SIGHS MORE.- I really doubt it. JANE: Let me see... -she feels around for a little button on the side of the tiara and projects a screen out. Hello, good old BettyBother!- JANE: -And there's Rose's handle. She pulls it up and thinks out some messages for her.- JANE: See, now you can see there's no brainwashing or what have you. JANE: -sure jane....- JUDE: to be fair, I don't think you'd know... JUDE: -glances nervously at the curtains... shuffles over to close them again.- JANE: Well, to be fair, I still think you're a little delusional. JUDE: -eyeballs her- my paranoia is COMPLETELY justified JANE: Mmmh. JANE: -YEAH. OKAY.- JANE: -Ding! Oh, thank goodness.- JUDE: -leans forward in interest.- ... who is this informant, anyway? JANE: Rose Lalonde. JANE: And I wouldn't call her an informant so much as... JANE: Well. JANE: An acquaintance, with whom I have exchanged a little information now and again. JANE: And a few japes. JUDE: sounds like an informant to me -or a friend- JUDE: lalonde... she worked for tumut too... on the uu -squints- JUDE: you said she knows that dirk character? are they... are they still on the uu now??? JANE: Well, I... JANE: -Wait. She's replying now.- JANE: .... JUDE: -looks at her with his EYES- ... what did she say? JANE: She said. That. JANE: ... JANE: -frowns- JANE: Hold on. I need to make sense of this. JUDE: -crosses his arms- ... she's telling you the same things I am, isn't she? JANE: Hold on, I said. -a little snappy- JUDE: ... fine -FROWNS- JANE: She said... JANE: The Umbral Ultimatum was the old ship she was on. JANE: That they're on a different ship now. JUDE: -brightens- that makes sense! to throw everyone tracking them off their trail... -he's going to have to make note of this- JANE: -She looks a little grimmer with each passing minute, until she finally just... wanders back to one of the stair steps and sits on it, resting her face in her hands.- JUDE: ... -oh, that... that's not a good reaction. he isn't the most sensitive person, but it does occur to him now what a shock all this would be. he approaches her, cautious.- JUDE: ... jane JANE: -She breathes deep again, breathes out slow, just a little shuddery.- JANE: Yes. JANE: This is... JANE: I think. JANE: Um... JANE: ... JANE: Your theory. Might... JUDE: ... -shifts awkwardly- I don't JUDE: I don't know if I can send you back JANE: ... JANE: No. JANE: I don't... JANE: -she shakes her head, face still in her hands, before lifting it again.- JANE: I don't think I can go, anyhow. JANE: Not... like this. JANE: Not until I understand. JANE: Is there... JANE: Anything she should know? Anything you want to tell her? JANE: I think I am about ready to wrap up this discussion. JUDE: -tries to think- I have... an abundence of information JUDE: about skaianet and crocker corp, and cherub culture... and um the technology too -rubs at the back of his neck- like that portal JUDE: I'd be willing to share with them JUDE: especially if... they know where my father is JANE: Who is your father, again? JUDE: jamison harley -draws his hands back in front of him to wringe them anxiously- JANE: She wants to know how old you are? Dingus Dongus - Today at 5:44 PM JUDE: ... uh JUDE: thirty-six... JANE: She seems to know him. And someone named Jade. JUDE: maybe they're all there... on that ship JUDE: I should... we should find them JUDE: or they could find us JANE: In the middle of... all this? JANE: Good luck, Chuck. JUDE: well, in the middle of all this I can't... I can't stay here anymore JUDE: I can't let crocker corp find that portal either! JUDE: and I don't know anywhere else that's safe -huffs- I doubt it's even safe with them but... it's better than this JANE: So we're stuck here in this... JANE: Dusty old house? Unless they find us? JUDE: ... maybe JUDE: there are some places we can go JUDE: ... er... it's just a matter of... getting there... -stares off- JUDE: I haven't left this property in um JUDE: years JANE: .... JANE: How many years? JUDE: -waves hands around, looking embarrassed- uhhh that's not... important... JANE: ... Jude. JANE: If your theory is, in fact, correct, there is a dangerous building down the street from this location. JANE: And that means we probably ought to fly approximately post-haste. JANE: Tell me that's not going to be a problem for you. JUDE: -the hands are back to wringing together- it... hhhh JUDE: it can't be a problem JUDE: I don't have much choice do I?? -glances away with a huff- JANE: I'd say not. JANE: Violent hooligans certainly aren't going to be sympathetic. JANE: I think I might... take a rest for a bit, though. JANE: I need to. Process. All of this. JUDE: r-- right JUDE: there should be enough time for that at least -glances around- JUDE: and that gives me a moment to gather everything... JUDE: there are um... several guest rooms JUDE: ... but they haven't been kept in a while... JANE: ... What exactly have you been doing here all this time? JUDE: umm JUDE: gathering information... JUDE: I actually sleep JUDE: ... outside... JUDE: -mumbles- in the tree house... JANE: ... JANE: Oh, for Pete's sake. JANE: -pushes herself to her feet and starts tromping back up the stairs. here it comes.- This is frankly the most ludicrous situation I've ever been plummeted into in my entire life. JANE: AND I'VE BEEN NEARLY ASSASSINATED MULTIPLE TIMES. JANE: Just another day, Jane! JANE: Just another usual day, with a man who lives in a treehouse and has a creepy portal in his attic in a world that's being taken over by your matron company, BETTY FUCKING CROCKER!!! JUDE: -stumbles back when she encroaches on his direction again, hands up.- I'm sorry??? JUDE: I never asked to live like this either! JUDE: but we can... we can do something about it now JUDE: and maybe... in your own universe... you can stop things from happening there too! why not? I doubt it's without it's own conspiracies -glances backwards, then inches towards a guest bedroom door and opens it up- JUDE: just get some rest JUDE: ... please JUDE: -DON'T YELL AT HIM AGAIN- JANE: -She huffs a little breath at the response -- she didn't mean to fly off the handle, but this whole situation was... more distressing than she wanted to think about. Or believe, still, but... with everything she had learned so far, she had to try to believe something. So far, very little else made sense.- JANE: ... Yeah. Alright. JANE: -The frustration still crawls across her mind as she steps into the bedroom, and it's as dusty as she imagined. She sighs at that, too, before shutting the door behind her. She's not sure she'll actually get any sleep, but she needs some time alone.-