#is literally my only exposure to
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what remnant does to a mf
#fnaf#michael afton#me doods#look away people! this one's just for me and myself only#(despite maintagging yes i know but its for organization purposes) anyways#i am a big fan of remnant mutating the shit out of a person#pair that w michael's unique death and continued exposure to the spirits it ends up doing pretty fucked up stuff lol#post scoop michael looks like a purple titan 💀#i'm literally just making fun of my own design atp lmaooo#whatever's the opposite of same face syndrome i have that w michael#just recently added the bolts to the jaw and i love it sm i'm keeping it#post scoop michael is 6'7 so i just want yall to imagine this absolute unit of a cryptid losing his mind managing the pizzeria#he's out there sobbing shitting rolling on the floor trying to mute the fucking ads absolutely flooding his monitors#i drew what his neck looks like but its usually covered in bandages or a turtleneck#you do not want to see what's under his shirt btw. its a whole circus in there AHAHAHAHAHA
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sighs wistfully........... i wanna be more active in the vocaloid community....
project sekai girlies where are you
#not only that but like- just the community in general.#vocaloid is literally the first fandom ive ever discovered since my first exposures to the internet#i just gotta draw more miku to prove to the cool kids i can be a cool vocaloid artist#oh yeah speaking of- i actually got the actual software recently im in autism heaven#all the tuning talk that big producers always talk about makes so much sense now.....#i got miku to sing a little bit of Hello World by louie zong as a test run! most of it's replicated by ear cuz idk fuck abt music..#but we punk rock this shit..... heheh..#moon noises
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my friendly friends
#aphmau#pheonix drop high#ein pdh#aphmau pdh#mystreet#aphverse#kai pdh#i've never watched mystreet season 2 before it's literally Insane im at the episode where ein becomes alpha#NOT MYSTREET I MEAN PDH i don't feel like rewriting that anyways THIS IS MY FIRST EXPOSURE TO EIN AND LIKE#IM SO SAD I DONT KNOW WHAT EXACTLY HE DOES BUT I KNOW HE TURNS EVIL AND HORRIBLE AND ITS LIKE BROOO LITERALLY HOWWWWW#HES SO NICE AND SWEET ANS THOUGHTFUL what the HELL is going to happen SAME WITH KAI LIKE😭😭😭#i've been watching mystreet in chronological order in hydroponics with my friend bc as a kid i only got to love love paradise im having fun#eins voice actor reminds me of how malachi used to talk that one scene lives in my mind Im sorry to bother you but if you two are done ta
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sometimes you just gotta go outside to realise you’re not as entirely ugly as you feel (you’re just nature)
#it’s my last month as a 24yro goddamn it i wanna be in it#attempting body exposure this summer im scared#but trying 2 remember im literally 25 and haven’t exercised in yrs im not gonna look like my teenage or early twenties self#also eating is like my only hobby so we gotta make some sacrifices here and there haahhaahaha rip#also im sick of hating my body when I have sm more things to worry about lol#just want my swag back lmao#also im v short if u cannot tell lololol#october#proof i went outside !!#idk why I didn’t use this for todays rip oh well
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i wish ocd was taken more seriously. like i know how silly and stupid it may sound when you can rationalize a fear away, and still be afraid. but like thats the problem. i know im ridiculous. i know im crazy. i know i have ruined friendships because i couldnt handle a trigger. i know that. you dont have to tell or show me that im being irrational. im fully aware. and yet im still terrified. thats what it means to be sick. im sick; there is something broken inside of me
and ocd is so watered down that when i try to explain these things to my friends and family they brush it off. and when something big happens (because something always does), they treat me like im some monster that's just now rearing its face. like. i begged my mom for years to get me help, and she never took me seriously. then cue 16 yr old me scrubbing my body with bleach- yes, bleach. 7yr old me with hands so dry from washing washing washing that they were constantly bleeding (this still happens from time to time). 13 yr old sitting on the kitchen floor sobbing because im disgusting and contaminating everything around me. and everything around me is contaminating me. and im contaminating everything and everything is contaminating me and there are germs and diseases everywhere. the trigger you ask? someone touched a bowl that i ate out of.
im sick and no one will take it seriously until they can make me out to be a monster. my mom gets offended, my dad scoffs and rolls his eyes. as if im somehow ruining their time. like?? sorry that you guys are suffering from my ocd. im sorry that being your daughter is such an inconvenience. its not like you couldnt have gotten me the help i needed sooner?? was it not clear from the beginning?
#rant because i just spent the last 20 minutes washing my hands because i brushed. my. teeth.#i wish there was actual treatment for ocd. like#the only real way is through exposure therapy and???? i dont. want to do that???#some my triggers have literally caused me to hallucinate#i actually dont know how much longer i can live like this#ocd#contamination ocd#obsessive compulsive disorder#intrusive thoughts#mental illness#just right ocd#severe ocd#actually ocd#ocd awareness
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new completely insane crack ship just dropped (King Candybug/Markowski)
Still workshopping a funny ship name but any and all suggestions are welcome! I'm liking the sound of "Hero's Hazards"
(hazards both as in workplace hazards (because for safety reasons Cybug-related issues fall under Hero's Duty's jurisdiction) and car hazard lights because KCB is a cyborg who may or may not have the Royal Racer incorporated into his body, and lights are also what Hero's Duty uses to subdue the mechanical menaces :3)
#This is just purely a silly thing that cropped up in my brain last night#“wouldn't it be hilarious if...” And it WOULD be funny if the one thing that helps Markowski conquer his fear of insects#Is getting surprisingly bomb cyussy from the literal arcade devil reincarnated as a cybrid#Who mind you is ONLY like this because Markowski's fear enabled the entire Cybug infestation plot to happen in the first place-#King Candybug#Markowski WiR#I think KCB would be willing to engage him because a) he wants to know more about his shiny new cybug body#and who better to ask for a crash course on cybugs than somebody from the same game they belong to?#and b) Turbo fucking LOVES scaring people for shits and giggles and terrifying the living daylights out of Markowski-#(albeit with diminishing returns through sheer exposure) makes a happy horrorbug
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my villain origin story is the belief that inhumans r copying xmen just because theyre both a group of people that have superpowers. everyone is a group of people with superpowers dipshit it came free with the fucking superhero comic company
#it is my personal belief that the inhumans r closer in relation to the HULK than they are to xmen#mutants r a group that are born with powers that manifest as some point in their life mostly at puberty#the inhumans r a group that only get their powers from an outside source exposure. they cannot be BORN with powers#and they will not develop on their own#they HAVE to be exposed to terrigen. this is literally closer in concept to spider-man than mutants#grrrrr i just dont GET getting mad about another group of powered ppl in a comic series all about powered ppl!!!!#like just so we're all on the same page here 😐😐😐 and the xmen straight up HAVE stolen ideas straight from the inhumans comics 😐😐😐😐😐#lockheed and krakoa me when i GET YOU.#ppl saying its okay to like ms marvel now PURELY bc shes a mutant now me when i GET YOU.#ppl who say they stopped making xmen comics in favor of the inhumans ME WHEN I GET YOU!!!!!#this has been in my drafts for like a year and a half. and u know what. im releasing it. no care#i deleted some tags so ignore the weird flow w the emoji one </3
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thinking about knights on the clock
#THINKING ABT. THEE KNIGHT#im seriously considering inquiring abt becoming a jouster next year...#they'll train you from the ground up... and yea its Florida but like.......#i think travelling around doing ren fests all year + otherwise being around horses and shit would fix my mental health#the only PROBLEM. is fucking. MEDICAL AND STUDENT LOAN DEBT#idk what the pay is like and im gonna be so real w/ you guys i do need a stable paycheck rn#not to mention the fact that if i DID like. get hired by them. then thats critical exposure to Thee Knight#who i am quite literally giggling and kicking my feet abt right now#hes so fucking gorgeous im insane about him hes like quantifiably Just Some Guy but hes MY Just Some Guy#he doesnt have a hole in his chainmail skirt anymore... sad day for me. a faggot#the newly darkened armor does look REALLYYYY good tho and i do love the scale on him#SOZ EVERYONE. IM ILL
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“Algorithm evasion speak” annoys me as much as the next person but I want to point out that some of you are revising history when you say all of these words and phrases were born from tiktok and the culture cultivated on the platform. “Sewer slide” for example was all over Roblox in 2017 and became a meme beyond the playerbase too. Yes, due to chat evasion, but also it’s a game designed primarily for children. Anyone remember wolfspeak? This is not a new phenomenon. TikTok only became available in the United States a year later. “Kermit sewer slide” did not originate from tiktok in by any means. The same can be said about “seggs” which I definitely remember being used as an occasional feature of lolzsorandom internet speak in the early 2010s.
#ven talks#if YOU don’t remember that’s fine but I do#it’s kind of annoying when you make a reference to an old meme or something and somebody is like ew tiktok. what are you 12 is this really#your first exposure to these phrases#yeah the whole situation with TikTok sucks but that’s not what I associate these old memes with. they’re still my old memes idc what people#in 2024 are doing#I think some of you people only have a memory that goes back like 2-3 years into the past. eithe that you’re literally zygotes idk
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i found this lore entry recently and have not stopped thinking about it since. it is HYSTERICALLY funny to me that fandaniel's villain origin story was just being a fuckin boomer
One of few great minds in a land that had seen the slow, yet steady numbing of its people's intelligence, Amon long lamented the sorry state of Allag , concentrating his early scientific efforts on developing medicines to increase mental capacity . He soon realized that it was not knowledge that the Allagans lacked. If anything, they had too much. What his people lacked was a leader. With a renewed sense of focus, Amon shifted his studies to the field of vivimancy, and soon was conducting experiments on his own flesh in order to attain his final goal - the resurrection of Xande the First.
— Encylopaedia Eorzea Volume I, p. 25
#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv#ffxiv amon#ffxiv fandaniel#i just. i Just.#the fact that he tried to fix it by doing research to literally just give people extra brain cells#before deciding the problem was ipad babies is KILLING me#i don't know why it's so hilarious but oh my fucking god#like obviously his real problem with it was a) that whole post about how there's Fun and there's Satisfaction from Achievement#which you need a balance of; because if you don't get enough fun you get stressed#but if you don't get the feel-good chemicals that come from working at and accomplishing things#it will fuck you up Badly; and make you horribly depressed; and you will probably try and substitute more and more Fun in a vicious cycle#b) not only did he live in the depressing nightmare sinkhole of resulting society-wide mental illness#but his attempts to preserve his sanity with meaningful work kept being appropriated into Fun by other people instead#and c) his exposure to the endpoint of 'utopia'; where everyone is happy and all their needs are (supposedly) met#was watching people get Bored and proceed to entertain themselves with horrific sadism and cruelty#he doesn't come right out and explicitly make that connection out loud; but going by his speech in the aitiascope it's pretty obvious#there's a Lot going on there; especially once you start getting into how he leans *into* the cruelty he hated so much#i could go on and probably i'll write up posts about it. it's fucked up and tragic and on a serious narrative level it tracks#but it's also SO SO FUNNY#ffxivtag#FF tag#shitposting#ableism cw#endwalker spoilers
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My mutuals will already know this, but after a while I decided it was funny enough to share on Tumblr too. Today I watched OSP's video summarizing the legends of King Arthur, for the sole purpose of finally learning the context for High Noon Over Camelot. Because beforehand, the extent of my knowledge on these mythos was:
there's a king named Arthur
he pulled the sword out of the stone and that's how he became the king of England (I know that from the Disney movie)
he's fabled to return from the grave to rule England again? I remember that from a Tumblr post about some flour called King Arthur "rising" to the top of popularity charts
there's a holy grail. What's the significance of it? Fuck if I know
there's another sword but given by the Lady Of The Lake. The only reason why I remember this is because Ciri in the Witcher books got isekai'd into the Arthurian legend and got confused for Lady Of The Lake, but refused to give out her sword.
Which of the swords is Excalibur? Unclear, probably depends on the telling
there's Merlin, he's a wizard. There's a TV series about him where I think he's a twink and possibly banging Arthur? Sources unclear on that one
there are the knights of the round table
not to be confused with the knights who say.... Ni
#Literally never heard of Guinevere and Lancelot before#and neither of Mordred or any other characters#So like#While other people probably had 'zing!' moments about references and callbacks to the Arthurian canon in HNOC#It was genuinely just all news to me#don't worry I'm Educated now#but it's so funny that my only exposure to the legend of King Arthur was through disjointed pieces of popculture references#and a Monty Python movie#the mechanisms#high noon over camelot#shitpost
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love watching weather science videos but like. why am i 1000x more interested in tornadoes over hurricanes. they're both spinning air
#we wanted to be a stormchaser when we were younger#nowadays we have to worry about our health too much to have such a risky high-stress high reaction time job#been watching nothing but tornado history videos for days it's one of our intermittent special interests#stemming from the weather science workbook we OBSESSED over as a kid#would read that thing cover to cover multiple times a week. i was the kind of autistic who would read the Encyclopedia for fun#i actually had a fave encyclopedia entry as a kid and now i cannot fucking remember it 😭#i also learned what sex was through the encyclopedia 😭😭😭😭 was legit my first exposure to the concept#but like even though we watch A TON of weather videos including tons of stuff about thunderstorms and blizzards#(thunderstorms my fucking beloved. favourite weather pattern ever. cumulonimbus my bestest friend <3)#most of the videos we watch are mostly tornado videos. and hurricane videos feel boring to us#even though hurricanes are wayyy more powerful#tornadoes are still fucking powerful it's just more. concentrated#tornadoes to me feel Targeted like. that's weather that says Fuck YOU in particular actually#especially multivortex tornadoes where you can literally have two houses both in the middle of the storm at once#and still only one of them gets destroyed#or like pictures you can see of demolished houses with their mailbox in the yard simply untouched#i like to watch tornado videos bc they help me. prepare. just in case#our state gets hit with tornadoes pretty frequently though not as much as tornado alley#and i like to know all the information for sheltering and what to do in the event of a collapsed building and such#i have a little survival kit in the bathroom just in case with like basic first aid and a radio and bottled water#bc thats probably the safest room for me to be in since it's not near any external walls and also hiding in the tub is usually good#also in the event you're caught on the road during a tornado#DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE shelter under a bridge or overpass#those work basically like straws where as the air gets pushed through it goes MUCH faster and gets dangerous way easier#as far as im aware the best place to be is in a ditch or hole if you absolutely cannot find a shelter in time#if you do not have a car with roll protection then being in your car will probably be worse#NOT AN EXPERT THO pls verify this information on your own if you think it is relevant or necessary i have poor memory and can be stupid#i just know that overpasses are dangerous as hell
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2023 was the year of this shit going crazy... 2023 ass edit... and it's awesome. he should kill himself... and fuck john mayor too while i'm here goddamn
#girl who had to stop reading these books because they were going too crazy. it can happen#listen if you cried every time you opened a book or put on a show you'd probably after a few months need a fucking break too#2023 also the year for ben barnes on my fucking screens. could not get rid of his ass in 2023.... love the guy#kinda a huge thing to happen considering i used to have a genuine problem with him being on my screens. remember when i literally couldn't#even handle seeing his face pop up somewhere. exposure therapy in a sense. i guess#context for everyone who was not there: prince caspian is one of my favorite movies i love him dearly it's actually so much more serious#than you could even fathom and just the sight of this man used to make me cry. i'm fine now#would love to give alina all the credit but i fear she was only like. 54% of the solution. unfortch
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just finished the original devilman manga. wuh!!
#genuinely one of the most batshit narrative structures i can think of#major major spoilers ahead im serious#monster of the week for like 2.9 volumes and then HARD pivot to literal actual armageddon#tbf my exposure is limited to a couple of crybaby watchthrough and the funny ova. yk the one#but only the first one 💀 idk why i didnt watch the second#the characterization differences between this and crybaby are really stark and thats been one of the things absently poking my brain#like really really stark#anyway what a time. im sure its depiction of humanity's self destruction is no longer relevant :)#and the ending always gets me but that final panel is SO FUCKING GOOD#raagghhhh#RAAAAAAAAA#i love the monster designs tbh. he got gnarly witg it in a really distinctive way#admittedly my experience w 70s (and prior) manga is super limited but at the very least the art feels unique to ME#and while my impression of the devilman manga was largely informed by yhat one post about everybody's expressions being wildly off#from their emotions but that's literally just a problem with ryo which means that shit's a character choice. which i love#how could i hate him just look. swagless#the scanlation i was reading did Not do the satan in love with akira reveal justice btw#it's like you ruined everything by fallin in love w akira and satan's like cam you blame me? im a hemaphrodite GIRL YOU CAN'T SAY THAT AND#ALSO WHAT???? WHAT???????#intersex people are famously prone to falling in love with akira fudo alias devilman. i guess??#i keep trying to figure out the logic but it's all bad. oh also ryo's logic in the beginning is kind of circular and dumb#it happened a couple more times but the guy was just raving. just saying shit. that he kind of made real ehich is extremely funny btw#omg manifesting!!!#ALSO I DID NOT KNOW THERE WAS SO MUCH DEVILMAN CONTENT????#i looked at the wiki trying to figure out the series order and like#in 1972 go started devilman and also in 1972 there was an anime adaptation and TWO SEPARATE MANGA ADAPTATIONS of the anime#the people were fucking insatiably lusting after devilman#dvilman lady and violence jack are extremely funny names to me btw#like 16 entries in looking at violence jack: evil town was just too much to me jfhsjsksh. violence georg#ANYWAY. good shit. poor akira as always. poor satan. they reinvented doomed yaoi or whatevr. poor boyos. etc
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gatekeeping lk from potentially gaining more exposure is not funny.....even as a joke lol. it's always the other 7 getting more opportunities than him especially the rest of visual racha. it's like minho doesn't even exist to fuckass jyp 🫤
are you serious lol
#THAT'S what you got from me saying i wanted to gatekeep him for suchwita ? lol#even if it wasn't a joke how would i actually gatekeep him from potentially gaining more exposure?#you do realize that i am just a person on tumblr right? and you are also just a person on tumblr. they literally will never know who we are#you said it like i just effectively ruined 10 brand deals for him by answering an ask saying i want him to be on suchwita-#instead of jaefriends which was literally only an idea in my head that's very likely NOT going to happen anyway??#am i sending emails to kim jaejoong's staff asking them to pls never invite lee know from stray kids ??#like hello ???#anon#answered
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i love accessibility yay yippee but also man i wish there were better options for doing therapy in person instead of through telehealth where i am. doing zoom calls exacerbates my anxiety so much :(
#damien.txt#which I GUESS is maybe some of the point....... exposure therapy or something#but like literally doing in person therapy only has me anxious for like ~5 minutes before#& honestly i feel like i communicate better like that.#vs on telehealth i have like 30 mins left until my appointment and i have been already staring anxiously at a wall for the past 30#and i feel like i feel soooo much more hesitant to talk on telehealth tbh like. idk. something abt having to just say things to my room#but like.... lgbt positive therapist > in person therapist. and where i am. that means. telehealth.#SIGHHHHHH im going to go scream a little
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