#is just hilarious people getting confused about who is this Jesus guy?

[rislyann]

one way or another, Jesus always finds his way back into my fics

"mysterious are the ways of the Lord" or something like that ig

[chasedeys]

https://www.tumblr.com/chasedeys/767908190114447360/httpswwwtumblrcomchasedeys767907676016476160

Jesus Christ he pulled up on Joe ???! I need this devotion

he did 😔😔🤚🤚🤚

the Lakers Date in gifset form and in video form like look at joe staring at ja'marr like that and giggling and shit oh my god joe ja'marr is sure as hell funnier than you but really? ja'marr putting his arms around joe which is just. yeah. look at that little scratch and then actually reaching his arms out and then just saying something short and random 😭 you know. casual. and joe barely reacting to it ok whatever. oh and also there's this hilarious twitter thread in reaction to it lmao.

this is the wowing backstory (everyone say thank you to carmen's big brain!!) to the date and kind of why this felt like a psychological attack beyond the implication that this was A Basketball Date. basically ja'marr flew his ass to arizona for joe because the man was having the shittiest week and was sooooo weirdly messy about it because he posted a vague blurry ass insta story of his location and then deleted it (?????) god what is wrong with him. like the photo was obviously a quick little snap of him in a car with just a location posted in the middle of the night like it didn't matter what the pic was only the location and was posted the minute he arrived (?) like he was announcing where he was for a very specific reason and then deleted it like it served its purpose and he didn't need it anymore. (is that not basic teenager in love 101........)

on joe being miserable -> like joe went to a club and flipped people off and i think one of the events he had was the signing with obj and kd (beloved kevin durant <3 but its sooo random why the fuck was kd there im so confused as to what this event was) and joe's expressions throughout all the videos and photos were either flat as fuck or straight up not-enjoying-shit. the next time he gets snapped in public it's with ja'marr on a basketball court with matching outfits finally smiling and laughing right and doing silly shit like clapping all up against ja'marr's face like a besotted dork......mind you he clapped because ja'marr was on camera probably getting introduced to the stadium so everyone could technically see it so it was like he was teasing the ever living shit out of ja'marr who was trying to be all cool throwing peace signs only to get stunted on by his embarrassing ass man who just wouldn't let him live jesus i'm sorry but i'm genuinely wondering why he clapped that way. look at his impish little smile joe oh my god stop.

but he was really finally acting all goofy and silly and smiling and laughing genuinely when ja'marr showed up and yapped at him!!!!!!! insane. shining example of devotion and codependency tbh.

some Speculation! which i love to do unfortunately for everyone around me:

this was planned from the start way before joe went through apparent hell or something. they bought the tickets way back with dj and sam and this was like the only thing joe looked forward to which is why he was finally smiling and laughing and actually managed to get through the week.

from that event they had together kd gave tickets to obj (pretty sure he was also there but like on the opposite side of the court?? idk) and joe and joe requested/bought more tickets and invited ja'marr and sam and dj because he was in heavy need of Friendship Love Moral Support from his guys. yeah.

(the favorite. the full of love theory) ja'marr found out joe was Going Through It (from joe himself? from obj? from his manager? the internet? other friends? who knows) and flew his ass to arizona having bought the plane ticket within minutes of ending the call/text regarding the joe situation. knew joe needed some refreshing/healing so he searched up what arizona had going on for them that week or he was planning on watching the game from his home anyway idk and immediately bought court-side tickets for the game. invited dj and sam so joe would be surrounded by more close friends who he would feel comforted by. arrived in phoenix in the middle of the night, snapped a quick photo for ig announcing where he was, joe saw it and sent ???????? in reply, ja'marr then deletes the ig story bc he doesn't want anyone else asking shit too, and finally crashed joe's pity party and has him smiling within minutes. am i crazy. yes. am i free. also yes.

THE CLOTHES THING they're literally wearing yellow and purple -> lakers and coincidentally lsu's colors!!! technically suns' too i think. did they plan on matching or did they each plan on wearing lakers colors in the first place (these divas...) and just had that one-brain-ism thing they got going on. ja'marr was sooooo pretty btw 😭😭 his faceeeee the dimple the hairrrr i miss his cornrows he looks sooo good in bright mustard yellow toooooo somebody save me from myself.

OH and dj reader and sam were there too okay 😭 like they weren't there alone. that la lunch date was like this lakers date 2.0 bc they weren't alone damn it but it weirdly seems that way 😭 when you're in love etc. or maybe because they just weren't mentioned as much as these two :( but I'm really pleased that joe could smile surrounded by his teammates <3 joy etc.

okay bye 😭

[akaikali]

TMAGP EP 19 REACTION (SPOILERS)

Hold on, alchemy?? I vaguely remember someone saying that they read Secrets of Alchemy and one of the main scholars was Prince Khalid or something? And now Sam learned some Alchemy while looking into the Magnus Institute???

So the Protocol is like...A thing??? Something that can be enacted, like a law, almost? And it was around back in 1684. Not important but...Older than any of our oldest statements in TMA, I think. Which is interesting, I wonder how Chester even got the information. Or FR3-D1, I suppose.

So is the Protocol some sort of...Dastardly alchemy? Like...Frankenstein-esque "creating life" or even bringing people back to life? Because I do think those are the kinds things that were called "Blasphemous" in the 1600s-1700s.

"It was only through the Protocol that we were spared from that Dred emission" Okay, so is Dread a thing we have to keep in mind? I remember for the filing system in the OIAR, one of them is "D" right? It seems like this Protocol is enacted when Things Go Wrong, so is the OIAR basically the people who can enact the Protocol?

"An element of such overwhelming radiance that to look upon it directly was to dazzle the eyes and throw the mind into confusion" I know it's probably not this but it reminds me a bit of both The Spiral but also the sun that Manuela Dominguez made.

I know the name Wilhem from somewhere. He was Gerry's ancestor in TMA ep 23, right? Wilhelm Von Closen?

A small tree??? Wait holy shit this little tree sounds beautiful. Is that concerning to say? IT HAS A FRUIT???? DO NOT EAT IT MF WHAT

Okay so the Latin is translated to, "But you must not eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, for on whatever day you eat from it will be the day you die" DUDE DID THIS GUY MAKE A TREE FROM THE GARDEN OF EDEN??? IS THIS FRUIT THE FRUIT OF TEMPTATION??? HELLO???

Holy shit. Holy shit did he turn a DOG into a tree AND give it the ability to Know things?? (I don't want to say he made it an Eye avatar because I don't think avatars work the same here)

Okay but why does sound kind of...Beautiful? Like those arts of giant deer creatures in the forest that seem to be made up of just as much of the forest as they are made up of real blood and meat.

He has a cure for it??? Jesus I mean...I don't know what to say I just...Is that dog okay?? I just feel really bad for the dog.

Okay so the Protocol can destroy things that are supernatural, unworldly, etc. And it can be contained or limited to a certain area, depending on the people who enact it.

Also hilariously. It's a Robert writing to a Robert lol.

OUGHHH HE'S ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS YES SAME THE PUTERS ARE LISTENING TO YOU HEHEHEH

"I'm deliberately being given cases that point to The Magnus Institute" I wonder if FR3-D1 wants Sam to keep looking into the institute but Chester (If he is Jon) is trying to keep him away. But he's losing the fight. Additionally, is FR3-D1 possibly the Protocol? Or perhaps, somehow, FR3-D1 has that...Whatever Isaac made...In it and it makes FR3-D1 all knowing?

Alice you can't keep shutting him down like this. You're going to lose him. I kind of understand why Sam is lashing out because I know what it feels like to have someone you really trust tell you that you're crazy when you KNOW you're not.

Obviously, he should have lashed out at Gwen the way he did last episode but Jesus Christ, he just needs someone to listen. Celia is there, but she has her whole thing going on, and I think Sam knows that subconsciously.

So he turns to Alice but she just keeps shutting him down. And I'm pretty she's only being dismissive because she knows something and she wants to keep him safe but she will lose him if she doesn't hear him out.

Okay to be fair. Gwen did ask for this job lol. She could quit anytime she wants it just that my girl is stubborn as fuck.

Oh boy. Yeah Gwen is about to get traumatized AGAIN.

COLIN???? WHO'S HE???? FR3-D1???? COLIN COME BACK HERE WHO IS HE-

Alice is starting to remind me of s1 Jon in the sense that it seems more absurd that she thinks nothing is going on instead of just accepting that things are 50 shades of fucked up.

Edit: I HAD TO READ THE TRANSCRIPT EARLIER SO I ONLY GOT TO LISTENING NOW AND SOMEHOW I MISSED THE MERCURY AND SULFUR FROM COLIN??? HELLO HAS HE FIGURED SOMETHING OUT?? and he's mentioning balance like hello Robert Smirke is that you????

Additionally, I will mention that Cinnabar (a tranquilizer) has both mercury and sulfure in it (Thanks AP Chemistry, I never ended up pursuing you as a degree lol)

[911weewooshow]

First time posting something like this and a bit nervous for some reason but fuck it, we ball anyway.

Okay, I had a whole idea of idea about who Buck would come out to first, and I kind of got stuck between thinking either Hen, Maddie, or maybe Bobby. But I honestly think (and hoping so badly) the first person he would tell would be Maddie and the way it is being processed by Maddie in my head is fucking hilarious. Buckle up as I try to get everything down in a coherent manner (the key word is try here)

Okay, so we all remember when Buck first came over to complain (rant really) about Tommy to Maddie. I gather it like mid-day or going on afternoon given the scene. And Buck is just going on and on about how upset he is that both Chris and Eddie like Tommy. And she just goes about her day, more than likely trying to be supportive but at the same time being very much over it (I know, well not really but I KNOW that that boy had been there for a bit). And Buck has a tendency to go into these tangents at times when he's hyper-focused on something (and there's no way she doesn't really know that, she's his sister after all).

So she just trying to get I guess lunch ready and setting the table and he just talking at her. Being utterly petty (those fucking air quotes) and making all these obviously very intimate connections with Chris's likes, Eddie's house/habits (like honestly he fucking knows what everything means on Eddie's calendar, like that... I will talk about in another post cause!!!). She ribs him even a bit as again, she is so over this conversation at this point. (and Chimney chaos agent that he is, doesn't fucking help). And I bet that Buck goes on again after that even more until he finally leaves (more like Maddie kicks him out cause boy pls.)

So we then fast forward to after the basketball game (which I know for sure Chimney complained so much to Maddie about "he make me his basketball beard Maddie"). Buck is telling her how he literally bodychecks Eddie and causes him to twist his ankle cause he is upset and jealous. And she's honestly reasonably upset at him (given her history especially) and basically tells him he needs to actually talk to Eddie like an adult.

So I imagine given that was the last bits of her conversation with Buck that day when he comes over the next day (probably super early cause I have no doubt his mind has been running since that kiss), practically glowing with post-kiss drunk vibes, she thinks it's due to something with Eddie. And for some reason, I feel like he would confess kind of similar to how he told Taylor he kissed Lucy. So all she will hear is "I kissed a guy" as his greeting which would be fucking funny (also probably due to his brain still processing, it's okay buck I get you).

Now Maddie knows about her brother's massive, can-be-seen-from-mars infatuation with Eddie even if he can't see it. And their obvious situationship from a mile away more than I feel even most people. She's tried to tell him but given how oblivious Buck is to his very blatant flirting when it comes to men, she probably decided it's best for him to figure it out for himself (and save herself the headache cause Jesus Christ).

So all I can imagine is the utter shock, the complete and all-consuming confusion of Buck explaining to her right after telling her that he kissed a man, that man in question was Tommy.

The very same Tommy that she had to listen to him complain about for what felt like a full day (probably at least an hr or 2). The same Tommy that she was told was quoted "so cool" in a petty tone by Buck. The same Tommy that Buck comes to her job (which I don't remember him really even doing on the scene) to further tell her about the disaster of the basketball situation and that he basically maimed his best friend over.

So Buck is probably freaking out a bit since the look on Maddie's face probably showcases her utter bewilderment at this whole thing and he's (as always) overthinking. And Maddie...

Maddie is so fucking confused at this point.

At this moment there are probably only two things going through her head. #1 being just white noise and "wut?" And the second (considering I'm not sure if she has physically met Tommy herself and is just hearing about him through people) is 'Who the fuck is Tommy Kinard'?

And I just find that so so funny. This is what was running through my head this morning and I just been chucking to myself throughout the day about it.

[mirror-to-the-past]

More (Apparently) KH3:Remind and Melody of Memory Stuff

Spiritually pounding on the windows of the Square Enix building- what do you MEAN I find out via YouTube that there's story cutscenes locked behind those egregious Data fights?? (That I'll personally beat... someday...)

(I also just went ahead and watched all the cutscenes for Melody of Memory, because I didn't want to play through a $60 rhythm game, sorryyy)

But first, Re:Mind and its sneaky, sneaky cutscenes...

Everything with Yozora has me Bonkers. I can't believe they've done this. Echoing Sora's first line in the series "I've been having these weird thoughts lately" through his own side of the story, him saying that he doesn't look like how he appears, the 'why do you know that name,' the "save Sora" while immediately drawing a gun on the man in question?? I'm just... *screaming noises* They're bringing everything together with the fiction versus reality stuff they have going on, and guys, I get SO excited when some games go meta. I'm squealing like a little girl; I'm ecstatic. Despite Sora being in (what I now know as Quadratum) and the background of the Yozora fight reflecting that, I can't help but wonder if it was another internal fight due to the arena switching to Sora's Heart Station for a second, akin to Roxas' fight in KH2.

And the music was so pretty... Yozora has a gorgeous theme. The prettier the battle theme, the more insane the KH fight, I say.

Also Riku was dreaming of Sora for a year. Lmao. He just... didn't say anything about it, while everyone was busting their asses. I'll be honest, literally the only way I could take that is that he dismissed his dreams as irrelevant- ah yes, dreaming of Sora? Nothing crazy to see here. Oh, Riku.

Also more importantly than Riku's angst deal- KAIRI WAS LAUNCHED INTO SPACE WHEN SHE WAS A PRESCHOOLER TO ACT AS A KEYBLADE WIELDER HOMING DEVICE, JESUS CHRIST. Kairi 🤝 Megamind 🤝 potentially Superman (I'm not a comics guy):

Getting launched out of their home planets into space in order to escape the destruction of their worlds, given vague and confusing scenarios and instructions to adapt to once they find a new planet, but they really just wanna chill and be loved and keep people safe.

And she's gonna train with Aqua! :D Another professional at getting launched into other worlds (realms). I hope she bonds with Ventus, as I've recently been made aware of their similarities in disposition, and how they are treated by others (hearts of pure light, designated by their groups as "the one who should stay home/be protected", wavering self confidence in their own abilities and self worth). Additionally, the hilarious potential scenarios of Kairi being like "yeah, and my favorite color's actually-" and Ventus interrupts with "Purple. I know," because the man essentially vicariously lived Sora's childhood. I'm super stoked for future Kairi screentime! Loved when she saw Xehanort in her memories and was like 'I don't care if you're a memory, data, manifestation of my heart or any other thing- I hate you, get out of my life forever. Hugs and kisses, die.' Like, 10/10, girl. Fair. Kairi's a volcano wrapped in a sweet package ready to snap at someone.

Riku's like "Y'know Ansem, I'm gonna miss you... 🥺"

And Sora's like "Xemnas, stooop all the violence. How can you take advantage of people with hearts? You should feel your feelings. You're valid, bestie. ☺️"

Kairi's no bleeding heart for baddies, she just wants everyone to get off her damn case, lol!

Also LOL at the fairy godmother of all people being the one to ship Riku off to Quadratum after Sora. My Cinderiku jokes (as well as my previous KH3 post's blurb about Riku determinedly walking into the ocean to find Sora) may not be completely unwarranted, now. Like, Miss 'specialty in dreams?' Miss "If you'd lost all your faith, I couldn't be here. And here I am." Not even to mention "a dream is a wish your heart makes," a very relevant lyric for this set of circumstances, if I do say so myself. I guess that's just gonna be another song I love and sing to myself that now makes me think of KH. 🤷 There's worse things I suppose, for example, like Buddy Holly being stuck in my head for three days straight and making me feel like I'm trapped listening to my uncle's records (thanks, Good Omens).

I ended up re-watching "Cinderella" for the first time in a while because of that part of Re:Mind and MoM. The KH association of the part with Fairy Godmother's appearance is now semi-heartwrenching, given the context of her appearance in "Cinderella," as well:

You have the vocalizing chorus throughout the opening of the scene acting as a callback to Cinderella's "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" song as well as reflecting her inner thoughts, and she has a dialogue with it while she sobs alone in the garden:

Chorus: Whatever you wish for, you keep...

Cinderella: "Oh, no... no, it isn't true."

Chorus: Have faith in your dreams and someday... your rainbow will come smiling through!

Cinderella: "It's just no use. No use at all."

Chorus: No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing...

Cinderella: "I can't believe! Not anymore..."

Chorus: The dream that you wish... *lyric trails off, unfinished*

Cinderella: "There's nothing left to believe in... nothing..."

[Fairy Godmother materializes next to her]

FG: "Nothing my dear? Oh, now you don't really mean that."

Cinderella: "Oh, but I do-"

FG: "Nonsense, child! If you lost all your faith, I couldn't be here, and here I am!"

[the violin and cello come in to finish the last part of the lyric] "...will come true."

Beautiful scene, really. The chorus assisting the animation is delightful... I watched Bambi and Lady and the Tramp (Bella Notte <3) a lot growing up because I loved that old-timey choral work. So dreamy...

Additional funny/sweet bit: I like how Mickey was freaking out to the point of being pinned down over Riku being unceremoniously dropped into Quadratum via Fairy Godmother's spontaneity and enabling.

'You sent my son to the big city ALONE?! He could get mugged, he could get lost, he could get hate-crimed, he could-'

*jump cut to Riku, and he's trying to gauge the value of Earth Money by spying on hot dog stands. He sheds his first known tear of the series by trying to figure out public transit routes*

Anyway, in the words of Cid:

"But what happens next?!"

[oh-three]

Secret Invasion S2E2:

Ooh, Captain Marvel recap

[1997] Young Gravik!!

[1997] How the heck did young Gravik pilot a ship on his own. Poor kid.

[1997] Interesting how Talos was using his human shell in front of his people instead of his natural form. He's really attached to Keller's looks

[1997] Oh.

[1997] Ngl, Fury did offer the Skrulls a fair bargain.

[1997] Ooh, Soren's human form. Never got to see that til now.

[1997] There's somethign really powerful about watching all of the Skrulls transform and step forward, embracing Fury's trust like that. It sucks to see how that's gone.

Never been more happy for the skip intro button in my life.

sees train F E A R. Because of that one trailer shot of G'iah weeping beside a train crash. I don't want to lose Talos.

Why do I feel like this conversation about Fury and his mother is going to turn dark and serious fast.

THERE'S A MILLION SKRULLS ON EARTH??

Talos, why.

This whole scene hurts. It feels so wrong for them to yell at each other like that.

WAIT, FURY, THAT'S THE ONE PERSON YOU HAVE LEFT, IDIOT.

Seriously, though. How was Talos supposed to know what would happen? He just wanted to keep his people safe. He fell in love with humanity and thought his people would, too. And his people became so comfortable on Earth that their ambition, their greed, has consumed them.

Two thousand people died??????? Jesus.

It would be really funny if G'iah crashed the car and killed Gravik the same way Fury killed the first Skrull he met.

Hey, that one guy looks kinda like Alexander Pierce.

Omg, this is hilarious. I didn't even consider that the rest of the Skrull Council wouldn't agree with Gravik's actions. Shame they're not gonna punish him.

Oh, the Council's corrupt, nice.

Could we like, un-promote Gravik please?

Ahhh, the woman's working for Talos. Good to know he's got someone on the inside. Wanna bet Gravik knows?

I feel like G'iah's getting a bit too ambitious. Gonna get herself found out.

A Harvest? Well, that's not ominous at all.

Poor Rhodey over here vs a whole delegation of authorial figures. Don't wanna be him rn.

Rhodey, c'mon. Damn, dude, that was fucking cold.

"I'm Nick Fury. Even when I'm out, I'm in." Now that was an incredible line. But like, he is kinda out right now. No allies, the world against him. Drove away the one guy he had left. He needs to get his priorities sorted, quick.

OKAY. WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT. SONYA, MY EYES. Will begrudgingly admit, that was effective, though.

Okay, so Gravik does know who G'iah is. I was wondering about that.

Accidentally signed up for torture today. Nice.

Well, that was a massacre.

Sonya really stayed till last minute, huh.

Rip Brogan.

G'iah 100% wants out, I can tell.

I hope Fury knows that woman is a Skrull. Huh, I guess he does have a wife.

I am so confused.

[calypso-finale]

Hundred Twenty One.

To keep this secret to myself is hard, having to keep my ring in my jewellery box is hard, to just be normal is hard because I really want to say it, I want to tell the world that I am engaged, that I am worth something. That a guy did want me for me, for every man that just saw me as Rihanna daughter, to every guy that just assumed I was a whore, I am being wifed up and I am so happy. I have cried tears of joy in the hotel in Italy but having to be quiet about this has been so hard for me because I am happy. I just feel I am entering a new chapter in my life; I just can’t wait to tell the world because men haven’t been kind to me and they never saw me as wife material just because they couldn’t have me but it’s over, I am going to be married and it will be for life, and it’s with a man I want, I am happy, I haven’t stopped smiling since “your home is full, Jesus” Ti said, “is Damson here?” I asked “he is, he’s talking to some of the family, and I thought I would come here and see you, how was Italy? Hey Emi, you playing with makeup brushes again?” I rolled my eyes “she has been playing in my makeup, they new anyways so she is pretending, how are you? And how was Scotland? Some little time away and that” hugging her “it was so good, nice to have peace. Nobody harassed us, people there were lovely but then we had to come back to reality, he is going back soon, so that means so am I” I pulled a face “you’re joking, stay” she laughed “I know, as much as we have the best times, I think you know. I need to be there for a while, but you need to be there for the red carpet event for Snowfall and I am not even joking with you” she pointed “oh I promise I will be there; my house is full I know. People are confused why, my mom said why did you invite Momo, I said why the hell not, Imani is here too, I wanted to slap her but hey, whatever” I shrugged “yeah I saw her, she is so smug. But dad is next to her, but I just came here, how do you feel though? Like nobody actually knows besides me and Damson in this home, how do you actually feel? You are going to be a wife, like this is crazy?” I giggled “good, I was in Italy, and I was laying in bed just thinking and I cried, tears of joy but I just feel like this is a new chapter, mind you I haven’t seen Oakley since, like he called me and all that, but he is busy with something, I don’t know but he is coming, he has the footage, so he has too” I went silent as there is a knock on the door “who is it!?” I asked “dad” I cringed “he hasn’t really spoken to me since, yeah come in!” I spat; Ti side eyed me “I came for Emi but just also you know see Rylee but you’re here too” my dad came in.

Emi is cute, as she grows she is getting cuter “she is hanging with mom too much, she loves my bedroom. She is pretending to put makeup on and talk to herself, she is doing a Fenty tutorial, you see my IG story? I put her up, it’s so funny” she is still on it too “yeah she is always with Robyn and watching her do it but erm yeah, how are you girls?” my dad asked, me and Ti looked at each other “I think we have both become so close, I love having Tianna here. Damson is hilarious and yeah, we all get on over here” Tianna nodded her head “I am happy, I just want to say I am proud of you both with how far you have both come, I am so proud you know that” smiling at him “thank you” Ti said “and I know that you feel I am soft on Imani, maybe I am but I find it hard to you know tell her off, her emotions are so disconnected so it’s hard to just tell her off, and yeah. Mom and I are bringing her home, I know we were hard on you both. I have many regrets” what exactly did Oakley say to my dad “well how is she going to learn?” I questioned “she is still messaging Juke, what do you want me to say” my mouth fell open “so yeah, it’s a losing game girls. I can’t keep doing this, I can’t keep beating people up, or doing this, it’s not on anymore. I guess we have to let her make her mistakes don’t we but within reason, we are going to keep her close, including money wise, it’s going to be in the shared account me and mom hold so we know what she spends it on. But I want you girls to always be close, I am happy for you both because you have both got so far, and I guess with age, it happens” he said, “what did Oakley say to you?” I am so curious now “he gave me different vibes, like he didn’t speak down to me, but he just told me how it is, he told me you know. I guess that, how fucked I have been with you Rylee, particularly you are of course. And I hate that will always be there but it’s a moment that happened, and you was pregnant, he didn’t say anything wrong though but yeah, I better go down. I am so confused why the Barbados crew are here” I laughed “and your mom dad” he pulled a face “I wanted peace, you bought me pain” I chuckled “nah I love it really, see you both down” my dad walked off.

My dad took Emi with him “wow” Ti said “what did Oakley do really? Dad seems sad and I hate to see dad sad” I cringed “I will have to speak to him when I see him, I told you I haven’t seen him with my own two eyes yet, I said I wanted him and dad to make up but now it seems like he is made him sad but yeah, I think he may have bought up the past” I huffed out “well Imani has got the easy way out, why the fuck is she obsessed with Juke!?” Ti spat “good question, but I think it may be to do with him taking her virginity too, I can’t have Juke in the family. As much as Oakley loves him, I need him back with Sky. I may need to pull a mom” Ti laughed sitting down “but I support this, I think you need too though” tapping on Oakley name and putting him on speaker “I need to know what he is doing” I sighed out “babe” Ti chuckled “don’t babe me, where are you?” I asked “I am in the car with my people, I mean like I was gathering my people you know that. I am coming, be about half hour? Or is that not good enough” I chuckled “I mean it is but just miss your face, call me when you park up. I want to see you first, my own two eyes first please” Oakley laughed “alright, yeah. I will call you, I am in the car so I will see you soon” Ti gagged, I kicked her leg “bye” disconnecting the call “gag fest” she said, “I bet you was doing a lot of gagging in Scotland, shut the fuck up” Ti gasped “you really won with Damson though, like he is so loveable and hilarious” Ti grinned “I am so happy, forever grateful to Oakley. Damson was saying Oakley wasn’t a bad guy, him being kicked out of his own house while in school, at a young age that did it to him but then his parents never took blame for that, it’s a shame but I never said Oakley was a bad guy, you can see it but yeah. I am happy for you both, me and Damson was saying that how perfect it was for you both, that is more you two then a holiday engagement” she is right really, I think the whole moment was perfect.

I know my mom is so confused on why the family are all here, this is something she wasn’t expecting but I said I missed them, I don’t really I just want to do this with most of my family here “Rylee I was just showing Mel, the outtakes from Oakley video shoot, he is a real character that man of yours” walking over to her “what did he do now” I have to laugh because Oakley can be stupid “just watch this” she pressed play “my eyes hurt you know” he said with his eyes shut “did you wash you face or your eyeballs” my mom came into the shot and wiped his eyes for him “you are so silly, what are you like” I squinted my eyes “why is he topless?” I questioned “because it’s a morning routine Rylee, oh please” I scoffed “don’t oh please me mom. The fans girls are going to love this” which is true, answering Oakley call “oh she is getting a little overprotective of her man now” I laughed at Mel saying that “as you asked, I am outside now” I knew it “yes” putting the phone down, I have not seen him since because we was supposed to meet and then something came up, something always comes up when it comes to us, but I am excited to see him. Stepping outside and I see a whole lot of cars, he has bought everyone along “who is the wheelchair for?” I pointed Wadz laughed “Juke” letting out an oh, I mean that is his family “what a nice fucking house you got here” Slawn said peeping my home “oh thank you” seeing Oakley, I gasped “flowers!?” I spat “I went to put petrol in that is all” he is such a liar, hugging him “stop it! You got them for me, awww lovey, thank you” pressing a kiss to his lips “well I got it for you init, who else. I got the gang together, the boys. Walid is going to do some video thing so yeah, we on it. Just you know, we doing this” there is so many boys here, this is crazy “Wyge is here too!” I had to announce, “who let him here?” Clint spat “my best friend please, can we all just like each other for the get together” I didn’t expect this “I am so happy for you” Rachel said “aww god, yeah, thank you. It’s been a battle, but nobody knows, so just keep it to us” she hugged me “aww” I cooed out.

My family mouth fell open, like there is so many boys, like loads and I mean ok what the fuck, he never mentioned this, his family is his mom and brother, but what is this, but I won’t say a thing “fucking hell, I have not seen this type of gang in a while” Damson said, Momo is in a state already I can see it “what is this?” my dad asked “erm” I just said “I am shooting a music video” Oakley came up from behind me “that” I said “just in general though, like everything” my dad looked at Juke and everyone in the room did, as did my uncles “I don’t know, Lee said I could use the house” my dad is suspicious “it’s a family home” my dad added “it’s my home, just let’s get drinks, yay. Drinks” diverting Oakley outside “yeah come, let’s go” grabbing his arm “what the fuck? You invited all of west London?” I said “this is my people; this is your family. This is mine, I wanted them here, is it a bad thing? Your family takes half the home but it’s ok?” shaking my head “I just wasn’t expecting it, that is all. It’s fine, put your chest back in, what is wrong?” he has his chest pumped out ready for a fight “just people init, volatile, I want them here that is all. I seen the way they looked at my family, just shit” nodding my head “they did the same to my dad, it’s fine. It happens, just let’s have a good day, come on. I missed you; nobody is fighting here. I have my family and you have yours yeah?” he nodded his head “ok?” I don’t want him to feel like that “yeah” he smiled “Aziel is outside with his cousins so you will catch him there, it’s a good day for us” he nodded his head “it is, I love you” he wrapped his arms around me, this is a very on edge and for what.

From the living area, we have the doors fully open to see outside and the split in families besides my mom and dad, they are mingling with that side, I like it, they are trying, and I want that. My dad feels bad about Oakley, so he is there, my mom is speaking to his mom, and I am glad they are, but my mom family are just not happy “why did you bring us all here niece?” Rorrey asked “because I sometimes miss you and I knew mom would be here” a made up lie “you think it was good to have this mess, to showcase this? Imani is here, and she is trying to get over what he did, do you not care about that?” I laughed “no I don’t, I don’t care about Imani, you right. This is about me, and if she didn’t want to come she could have stayed at home” I stared at her “not my fault you’re chasing half a man” putting a finger up at her “half a man, you’re chasing someone that don’t want you, go and wheel him around if you’re so tough” I scoffed “I can and I will if I want” I sniggered “oh here she goes with her delusions, you have become such a bitch! I ain’t fucking forgiven you for trying to fuck up my relationship! Oh you think I forgot?” now I am mad after I told him to not be bad “who fucking cares about the redundant two, I showed him what you said, how is that my fault” I don’t have it in me to stay calm “Rylee!” Ti spat but before she could even just try and calm me I threw my phone which hit her right on her forehead “you stupid fucking bitch! You think I forgot, I have you in my house and I forgot!? You think your clever” Ti pleaded with me “give my phone back”  I shouted, “I am glad it was the edge, cry!” Ti went over to get my phone “why did you do that?” my dad said, “because I can, she is in my home” Oakley came in after my dad “what’s happened?” he asked me “I might have thrown my phone at Imani, she is crying” I said, “why did you fucking do that for!?” my dad spat “you can’t fucking invite people and do that fucking shit!” my dad hollered “I told that bitch I would get her! And I did, go and wipe her fucking tears dad, go on!” I pointed, Oakley turned around “Lee, leave it” he said but he wasn’t looking at me “you deal with yours, I deal with mine” Oakley said “but the point is she deserves it” Oakley just pulled me along.

Oakley took me outside “are you mad with me? You seem mad with me?” I asked, he shook his head “nah, just ain’t worth it, that is what I wanted to say. You telling me to relax, and to not start shit and look at you” he laughed “I know but I don’t forget, you called me a dickhead over that, I didn’t exactly invite her to beat her but like she spoke to me, just her trying to be fucking clever made me mad, but I knew I wouldn’t get to her so I used my phone” Oakley is laughing “just leave it now, you can stay with me, being dense. The fact you was looking at me when you was the secret one to be mad” he put his arm around me “just a lot of things was annoying me that is all, what is Walid doing?” he is filming “for the video we going to put on social, it will be the reaction to this, just wait on my boy, he is good” Ti rushed over to me “what the fuck happened there” she said “literally what you saw, she shouldn’t have pissed me off really” she cringed “dad was like why did Oakley say I deal with mine, that is my daughter so I came out here, look can we not make things heated, we need to relax it” my dad is coming now “I wish you girls wouldn’t argue and fight like this” he said “these men acting like bamboons!” my ears perked up “oh god, she will always be miserable until death” my dad said “I can peep” Oakley mumbled “she don’t like loud noise and men, fuck my life but really, did we have to like fight like that?” my dad turned back around to me “she was wrong, you know it” Ti went over to Momo “you want to go back inside” she said “you want to dance mama?” Clint said to Momo “I will hit you” Oakley huffed and then pressed a kiss to the top of my head “relax ok, leave her now” nodding my head “come” Oakley hit my dad shoulder, I frowned as they both walked off together, I wonder why he did that.

[walkingstackofbooks]

SNW 2x03 Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow thought-stream

[30 June '23]

First of all, what an amazing, TOS-style title. I love it.

La'an sounds so done right at the beginning XD

I thought this was going to be a complaint - "Nobody told me when I took this assignment just how many friends it would make for me."

Oh, it was XD

Pelia! Already an icon

"I will make every effort to practice less vigorously."

"Well as your sparring partner, I advise you talk to your physician."

Okay wtf was that?? Okay random dude just disappearing?

Kirk!

Wait this is yet another AU! Kirk?!

Is she gonna grab him and press the button? Because she totally should.

He doesn't feel like Kirk... but also I guess he *isn't* our Kirk, so that's okay?

*BIG SIGNS WITH TORONTO* "Seems to be New York City." Oh, honey XD

"I was born in space on the USS Iowa" - huh! I like the way they did that!

Hah, they dressed in the same clothes, hilarious! XD

Ohhh... does the crush really need to happen? :/

Chess chess chess! It is Kirk!

Actually, re:La'an's crush, tbf, I think it's just weird to not have a crush on Kirk myself 😅

Wait, mid 21st century? I thought in the ST universe that was when WW3 was happening... *Checks* 2026-51 yeaaaaa

Kinda creepy La'an, just standing there and watching him think.

Because we know Jim so well, it feels kind of weird that she doesn't

"My earth still has sunsets." Boom. That sure is a good argument.

I forgot she knew Sam! Or in fact that Sam was on the Enterprise 😅

You should look up Pelia!

Is this Jim actually gonna be a good driver?

VULCAN NERVE PINCH WHAT?

YISSSS, A PIECE OF THE ACTION THROWBACK INCREDIBLE

Tbf I'm sure that car is easier than 1930s

Wait why has she read his file and not Sam's

What happened to lessen the eugenics war impact???

Why do we have to have action Kirk in ace? But at least it's au Kirk?

Profiling? Oh Canadian against Americans?

My wife was abducted.

Love how ahe has to do all the work

Jim keeps being hungry but this Jim never went to Tarsus?

So is this supposed to be now so I'm America the sanctuary districys

Engineering extension

"I might actually know someone in Vermont." YES, PELIA!

>> Though my guess is she's not actually an engineer yet, just because that would be funny :P

I like how weird time travel gets when immortals are involved

"People are usually difficult for me." Oh, La'aaan <3

He's just another guy though 😅

🙄

((Why can they always squeeze m/f romance in one episode but never anything queer in one-and-a-bit seasons?))

Sera?! You're a villain?!

"Try me." *bang* oh jeez oh wow they really did just straight up kill Kirk??? Incredible.

Superior Romulan strength...

How is Khan about?? This is the wrong time? Unless they're going with DS9's "the Eugenics war was 200 years ago" miscontinuity and placing it where WW3 is supposed to be? I am a confuse

"And all this was supposed to happen back in 1992, and I've been trapped here for 30 years trying to get my shot at him."

WHAT WHAT WHAT???? SO THE TIMELINE IS ALREADY CHANGED? WHAT??? I love time travel but man this is messing up my head!

What on Earth just happened though with her disappearing into smoke? what.

"Are you gonna kill me?" Jesus, I cannot with this. MY HEART

Fricking Heck

So Khan was once just be a kid being experimented on? (Like Julian? 💔)

BUT HAS TIME CHANGED? WAS THE EUGENICS WARS NOW IN 2020S?? Pls I need to know!

Uhura's complete confusion and need to check out La'an when Pike says "You're not wearing your uniform." XD

Ohh, our girl's just been though a whole heck of a lot

Eyyy damn for a sec I thought that was gonna be Section 31 😅 Temporal Investigations are slightly less fucked

Nah nah nah, this girl needs therapy, please

Well she forget this? I kinda hope so... Because gosh, if she doesn't that's her and Pike who are gonna be weird when Kirk actually shows his face

They just ban her from talking to anyone about this despite all the massive trauma they just dumped on her?!! No that's not okay actually??? Damnnnn

She just straight up rings Kirk? Oh my word I love her so much

Ohhhh, La'an <3 <3 <3

This is the worst this is so unfair my poor girl... Oh, what the heck strange new worlds, what sort of comfort show are you??!

This was a brilliant episode, I loved it so much, and seeing so much more of La'an was awesome!

[did-diggy-die-yet]

I'm sorry, but every time I hear a conservative, Christian man complain about feminine men just ��existing✨ all I hear is: "me not like effeminate men. He pretty like female. He confuse my peepee, which is also my entire brain."

This is about that guy in Spain who got mad at that new "sexualized" and "effeminate" Jesus painting, btw, which actually turned out to be a pretty regular, old, stereotypical depiction of white Jesus.

This type of criticism is so fucking hilarious to me, like, literally every depiction of Jesus after the Renaissance has basically just been everyone jacking DaVinci's style, and that dude was gay as hell! These folks have no one to blame for "this," but themselves and their weirdo fetishization of "the old masters," but without any nuanced understanding of the people behind these great works they drool over, and their history as the living, breathing people they were.

I swear, this refusal to make any effort to understand the people they champion as purveyors of the "Western Ideal" as full people, is so intentional. They are simply crafting an alternative history for themselves by dehumanizing the creatives/thought leaders that built their chosen ideals/aesthetics, and that becomes especially apparently when you realize that they have effectively being doing this exact same thing to Jesus himself for DECADES— you know, that guy they are constantly insisting was/is real. They don't really treat Jesus as a person, so much as they do an object and pawn they can use as a figurehead, to push whatever ideals they want to enforce on their fellow Christians. And it's so funny, because they have strayed so far from the original depiction of Jesus in the bible, that there are now tons of evangelicals who have gone on record, complaining about how annoyingly "wimpy" they think Jesus is portrayed in their own scripture when they actually do go back and read it!

"Helping the poor and forgiving sinners? That shit is woke propaganda."

The media literary these folks have is EXACTLY ZERO and I would be cackling if these folks didn't have so much power in this world. GOOD LORD, HAVE MERCY! 😭

[the-firebird69]

MY24 CX 50 Outsiders AWD 15 16x9

Well this is Trump getting killed again and he's in the movie and he's the one who used the slingshot and he's not David from David and Goliath but JC doesn't like him tried to imitate him too much and it looks like a crow Magnum guy that's because his face is taking over this is trying to mutate his body and he's not very good at it you can see Trump as gain some knowledge that has the idiot along this way for us it's by force and he ends up getting killed when he's only partially ripped apart and he comes back together and random text cob dies in the movie. But the army survives and it is pseudo empire but they have a war with bja and he uses it as an excuse to say that we took the body and there are several riders there and excommunicated for real and they start going after hard knocking her 5150 as others are making it they want to say that it's their business and run the revolution from Britain is there idea but it's really Bob because he knows how to do stuff and it was his idea in the beginning and they don't see it and it's too late and they're ruined and he missed a lot of stuff and he never gets to Florida he gets in fights and he kicks their ass. This is my role like I said I'm going to make it work and he's revived in Britain and he wants to stay there he doesn't like the way Yanks do stuff it's not very fond of our son and he's afraid of him he wants to become a giant for some reason he thinks that he can be big and small it's because he sees the hulks and he wants to get big and challenge him and take over the business which is not really running did they start making these all over and it's different people it's very confusing and there's one manufacturing things pumping out more and it's not the same and it's better metal no it's just a little different the country perfect and stuff like that so he's pretty smart and you figured it out and the sun doesn't have anything to do with it but he wants to hold him as usual it's low-level stuff but that's what they do and they try and say that it's not Max and stuff like that Max have a long range plane and this is part of it and this is sort of it's true too they want to have something over on our son and they're trying to he's going to try and use New Zealand and our son wants to attract people there to raise the kraken and Hera supposedly raised hers but it hasn't happened yet but it will and she has been feeding it and has to feed it now and she's going to put on a calendar and she knows about it that she's going to she told him no it's her husband fashion in the day of both types and she just very well she does a little bit better than him and she's free

Thor Freya

Olympus

And yeah I added a lot of character to Billy Hicks and had him hiss and all sorts of stuff I was talking he loves it it's like this massive pig

Herahaha my husband says shut up while you're at it and it's one of those things he says it's hilarious because he remembers it very vividly that's how I talk to him and he thinks it's hilarious it scares a lot of people

Well that's not blow it says it certainly does make sense now though yeah I say that stuff too but Jesus Christ this is awful he thinks it's going to be fun as hell it's better than doing this dumb s*** watching me walk around his car and poverty with a tiara on it's a little bit better than that I'm frustrated with JC and Mary

Trump

[project1939]

Day 67- Film (number 1): Captive Women 

Release date: October 10th, 1952. 

Studio: RKO 

Genre: Sci-Fi 

Director: Stuart Gilmore 

Producer: Jack Pollexfen, Aubrey Wisberg 

Actors: Robert Clarke, Ron Randell, Margaret Field, Gloria Saunders 

Plot Summary: In the year 3000, after a nuclear war destroys most of the world, different “tribes” of survivors vie for influence and resources. The Upriver People are ruled by a war lord type guy, the Mutates are disfigured people with mutated genes from nuclear weapons, and the Norms, seemingly the most similar to people before the war.

My Rating (out of five stars): * 

Oh lord, this film was bad. I think it qualifies as the worst one I’ve seen for the project, out of nearly 70! Not only was it poorly made, badly acted, and hilariously C Grade, but it was boring, preachy, and uninspired. The running time was 64 minutes, but I’ve seen films three times that long that felt faster. 

The Good: 

Uh... um... Oh wait, there was a pretty impressive cat fight in this! 

The Bad: 

The story. It was a muddled mess. The plot seemed to be a product of some kind of nuclear mutation itself- like the script fell into a puddle of nuclear waste and sat in it for awhile. It was hard to keep track of who belonged to what tribe, what tribe to care about, or what anyone was even doing. It didn’t help that a lot of the actors looked similar. I was constantly confusing the two main female characters, and two of the lead male characters caused the same confusion. 

The jank cheap-looking sets. The trees and bushes were so obviously fake, they even sounded plastic. At one point in my notes I wrote, “Plan 9 from Nuclear Waste?” It was basically the same ridiculously cheap level of Plan 9 from Outer Space! 

The costumes. I didn’t know something could be so weird, so random, and so boring all at once. Most of the men looked like they wandered off a Robinhood set, while the women looked like they were screen-testing for Ben-Hur. There were some other male characters that either had Druid or Biker Gang vibes going on. 

The acting. It was an unpredictable mess of over-acters and under-acters. 

The moralizing. Some of it goes back to the tired old- “The US is better than the commies cause religion!” The beginning even mentioned that after the war, “science, education, and a true religion has been lost.” (Emphasis theirs.) We know which one they mean, of course. Then we find out the Norms worship the devil, but the Mutates still believe in Jesus. Cause there’s only one or the other to choose from, I guess? Blech.  

Somehow at the end, the characters becoming God fearing Christians is going to make world peace. Cause Abrahamic religions never ever start wars, silly! 

Hey, ladies, sexual assault is sexy, huh? You like it, don’t you?  (I'm being sarcastic, btw. The way the men treated women in this was gross.)

It was also funny how, a thousand years into the future, people are still bound to strict Puritanical views of sex. When a leader of the Mutates tells a couple they can’t get married because their offspring would be too horrible, the couple leaves, acting like they can never be together because they can’t get married. Why can't they have a common-law marriage? Or live in sin? Or just f-ck if they want to? Or even be romantic but asexual? Anything! In 1,000 years, people can't see past all that?

Another transparently lurid title that has nothing much to do with most of the plot.

[fuckinorangecat]

part 1

15/16/17/09/2023

As I begin to write this post, I realised quite a lot of shit happened this week + last weekend? I went to Osaka on a 7 hour coach straight after work last friday. When I reached Osaka, it reeked of hedonism and debauchery. It was honestly hilarious, the infamous stereotype that Japanese people don't fuck now seems like a fraudulent headline made for clicks. Everyone fucks, everyone was drunk and most important of all everyone was having a damn good time. I met up with a fellow JET shortly afterwards since he was letting me stayover. A great guy, younger than me. We went on the same flight together all the way from London so it was pleasant seeing him again. We hit the local convenience store to buy drinks but I also went and bought spaghetti. I was craving it and I was craving it cold lol, much to my friend's judgement and confusion. Once we got to the apartment, it was like the smallest place I've ever seen lol. It was a studio that costs 30,000 yen more than my place. The city...sucks. Not that I'm complaining about having a place to stay, hell no. I just feel for my man. We also ordered from a Matsuya (I think), a chain of restaurants that are opened 24/7. We both got rice bowls, was pretty decent stuff. I was so hungry because I was on a coach for 7 hours and it took an additional hour to get to my friend's place. After the latest dinner, we just spoke about life. Oh yeah I showered before eating, I'm not gross. I was practically rotting on the coach - I apologise to everyone. I was in my work clothes so it was extra nasty. But I digress. It was mainly my friend talking and me asking questions. It was actually his second time applying for this programme, the first time he failed which genuinely surprised me. I automatically assume most people past the first time. After talking for a bit we were straight up exhausted since it was then 3am. We went to bed and woke up at 8am the next day lol. Despite only running on 5 hours sleep, we went straight ahead with our poorly-planned schedule. We got to the station and I finally got a Icoca card which is sort of like a rite of passage in Japan. The more popular variant used in Tokyo is called Suica but they're the same thing. Although I WILL GET A SUICA TOO. It's pretty much exactly the same as an oyster card in the UK. Afterwards we went straight to Osaka castle and did a bunch of walking and touristy stuff. I took fire photos of my friend, his photos of me not so much but I'm ugly as fuck anyway so it didn't matter. The castle grounds were beautiful, we didn't go inside the castle because the queue was immense but we walked around the perimeters. There's a shrine in the castle grounds so we went there and I threw a 5 yen coin in and prayed for luck and happiness. After the castle, we decided to walk around for a bit to waste time. We were going to meet some other fellow JETs who wanted to tag along. We found a small cafe called "Mick Cafe" and it was great. Smallest cafe ever, dude was chill as hell and was just watching his TV whilst having a smoke. Tried Osaka cider and found out cider is different in Japan and fucking America. It has no alcohol, which obviously pissed the British in me off. The American JETs kindly explained that in the US it's the same but that there exists cider with alcohol. It's called "hard cider", what the fuck is this shit man. "hard cider"?! It's 4%. Nothing hard about this fucking cider. ANYWAY back to the diary note taking. We eventually met up with another JET in the middle of Dotonbori, just under the famous glico sign. By the way, Dotonbori is so fucking jammed packed full of people jesus christ, reminds me of Camden in the UK. We went for an Indian lunch after meeting up. I had a big ass biryani and tried pani puri for the first time. Fire stuff, I could eat a thousand of those things. With all of us weebs, we decided to visit Den town or some shit, I can't actually remember the name. It was supposed to be the anime sector but it was actually crazy small.

[eurofox]

Yakuza 3 review

I heard that this is one of the least popular games in the series. As it’s one of the oldest games I can see why. It’s also fairly short while also poorly paced. I still enjoyed it but less so than that other games. I have heard it was rushed though

SPOILERS:

The good shit:

It’s nice to see Kiryu happy and living his dream

Another great soundtrack, some gems here (clay doll on the cradle is my face)

I actually don’t mind Kaoru’s departure. Kind of refreshing to see a female character choose a career over romance (she was shown to be ambitious) and her fling with Kiryu really seemed like a ‘heat of the moment’ thing than a real relationship. I hear it’s because her VA was a nightmare though. But I wasn’t too bothered with this

Kiryu’s rad shirt

Okinawa is a nice change of pace and easy to get around (it took my 3 games to know my way round Kamurocho lmao)

Rikiya and co grew on me.

Pretty brutal combat, smashing people’s teeth out and shit

Has the best gun based boss in the series with Andre Richardson. Actually LIDL own brand Wesker one of the best Big Bads in the whole series.

The Kanda love hotel fight is comedy gold

Kanda gets a well deserved death

All the E N G L I S H

Hospital battle is great. One of my fave long battles in the series

Daigo’s hurt screaming MINE

Kiry getting Majima to babysit Daigo

Majima has a few shining moments here, especially the lorry rescue

Kiryu’s blog is such a funny idea.

Bullfight was silly, but enjoyable

Daigo’s post coma crackshot is unintentially hilarious

Mine’s boss fight is ok

The Bad shit:

Holy fuck people were not exaggerating with the BLOCKUZA jokes. Having some low level mooks block my every move did not make me feel like the dragon of Dojima. 

That Lau Ka long fight where I just kept getting stunlocked while he made those wacky noises

Looks dated and feel dated. They did what they could I guess but I think this game could do with the Kiwami treatment.

At this point, 4 games in, I’m starting to see re-used tropes.

JESUS CHRIST TAKE AWAY THE FUCKING GUNS FROM DEFEATED FOES

The disrespect they showed Kashiwagi

Rikiya’s death is pointless and was avoidable.

Daigo’s model looks so bad, with his shiny and miss-shapen head, I thought at first he was the white guy who I’d heard was in this game

Evil (or good I guess?) Kazama twin, really?

No hamazaki fight

Shortest game and it starts going too fast once you meet Joji

That duck eating cutscene, minging.

Those damn kids. I get they wanted to build up the relationship with them but it really should have been sub story’s. It just got tedious after 5 hours. Especially as Kiryu says he’s ready to go and still fannys about in Okinawa

ANIKI every 2 seconds is really fucking annoying. I abandoned him in serena

30 minute long exposition scene with the politician

Kiryu’s god awful sideburns

Why is Kiryu so W I D E

Goons with annoying introductions

Having to run around finding shit for that stupid dog

Chase sections

I just don’t really get all the Mine love in the fanbase. He’s not developed enough

Dumb fake out death scene

The plot here is messy, though I kind of preferred it over 3 for several reasons. I’ll go into what I made of it:

It’s nice to see Daigo trying to help Kiryu (He tries, he really does) but why not just relocate that orphanage? They build it back in no time when Mine wrecks it so couldn’t he just ask kiryu to move? He needs the cash.

The whole resort/military base thing needing each other was confusing tbh.

The super secret place Kahiwagi stowed Daigo? The hospital. Damn, they’ll never find him there.

Nakahara and co. are nice, but why do we never see them again?

Why would Kazama never mention his CIA operative twin to Kiryu?

So it turns out Joji never actually shot anyone, just that big meanie Andre while Joji just stood there shaking his head in disapproval presumably.

The CIA couldn’t tell that the head of the evil Black Monday was pretending to be a CIA agent?

Kiryu howls in manly pain for poor aul rikyia who he knew for a year, but gets over the death of his mentor/brother figure Kashiwagi in like a minute. And was machine gunning Kashiwagi really necessary?

Mine’s whole ‘I ❤ DAIGO’ thing comes across a bit psycho-esque. He’s cartoonishly evil, demolishes an orphanage for fucks sake. And his reason for going wild are odd. Daigo’s only been in a coma for a few days and he wants to put him down like a lame horse? He’s not even in ICU, he’s hardly a ‘tangle of tubes’, doesn’t even have a dripstand, just an oxygen mask. Reminds me off that scene in the simpsons when Barney tries to smother homer in hospital when he’s actually fine. Plus he sells out to Black Monday for more money cos of some dumb bullshit about real brotherhood or something. He seems to be more popular in japan so I checked out some of his RGG online stories and he comes across as  obsessive over Daigo, which seems one sided. I can’t tell if he’s actually gay for Daigo. There are plenty of very close platonic male friendships in this series but his doesn’t seem that way.

While I never really got into Mine, I really liked Andre as a villain. His plans aren’t the convoluted mess like the other ‘real’ baddies. He just wants to steal some missiles for money. He is so aggressively American that it’s just funny. Blond, tall and blue eyes, refuses to speak Japanese despite understanding it, his silly phrases ‘ah shit’ and ‘go to hell’, giving up on hand to hand combat and just pulling out a glock. Also his white guy entourage looks like they were rounded up outside an office building in Birmingham. His boss fight is actually fun as he doesn’t block as much. His gun doesn’t constantly knock you on your ass like in Kiwami. Gets his ass handed to him by a guy coming out of a coma and completely ruins Mine’s dramatic speech with his his whining ‘let me go’ ‘wah’ ‘stop it’. Also I got last samurai’d on my playthrough as I hadn’t bought any healing items in Okinawa so the Andre and co killed me in that surprise fight. Overall, great villain.

I can see the issues with this game but it was still enjoyable. Some people might even enjoy the slice of life stuff in Okinawa but I resented how I was forced into it, especially when I wanted to get going to Tokyo for the rest of the story. Plus I can suspend belief for Kiryu’s nonsense when it’s a substory, but it seems silly when I’m looking for dogfood when Daigo is comatose in the main section. Goofiest plot so far but the cool villain redeemed it a bit. And it’s nice that Daigo got a badass moment, even if shortlived, he takes a lot of L’s in this series.So it was ok, but I can see why people are less enthusiastic about this one.

[the-moons-not-haunted-you-are]

Oh geez it was one I listened to recently lol. Give me a moment I'll find it.

I'm gonna put quotes here as I feel like it just for funsies lol "Eh if diabetes was real I woulda died of it by now" - Chris, Jim Henson's Secret Plan

Oh yeah Chris canonically makes good brussels sprouts, how did I forget that.

"Help. Help. I'm smellin' names. And I'm---I'm. I'm hearin' smells." - Will, Jim Henson's Secret Plan

Oh man their whole bit about doing art as a job being hard is so good. Not in a funny way it's just good. I think about, [paraphrased] "If you want to get into music, don't quit your day job. Not because you'll fail, but just because you'll enjoy it more if you keep it as a hobby," all the time.

Oh fuck a fan called Will's parents' house one time. I can't tell if that's funny or awful; I think it's both.

Augh. Will's lozenge noises. Augh.

Ough Will's description of his really bad mental health moments... I don't think I've ever had it Quite that bad but Fuck, I've come close.

...How did I forget that this guy thought he was Jesus one time. No other comments, just wondering how I forgot that.

"No the starting a cult was actually a different time." - Will, Jim Henson's Secret Plan (Is this terrifying or hilarious? Don't ask me.)

"You are one of the most well-adjusted unstable people I know." - Chris, Jim Henson's Secret Plan (I have to admit I think about this quote a lot too)

"You got this nice house. Take That, Your Brain." - Chris, Jim Henson's Secret Plan

I love whenever Will refers to himself as gay or queer because he has a particular vibe where. I mean he only talks about women in a romantic sense in his songs, but he also talks about kissing boys in college and it's just. He's gay but he's also not gay. Me too, dude.

"Poor guy."

"Poor Alan Turing."

Huh. Is the way they say "horrible" a Jersey accent thing? A whole East Coast thing? Idk I'm from the PNW. They say it like "harrible" kind of and I'm a full "whore-ible" person.

Oh they're doing the Muppets bit now. I love this bit, but I'm just gonna skip past it, because it's too long for me to quote all the funny/interesting parts. I fucking LOVE it when they do character voices tho

Okay at like 30 minutes in they start answering questions, and I love it when they do that but. Again. Too many funny bits and bits that require too much context for me to quote/talk about, so I'm just gonna skip through them.

LOBSTERS UNDERSTAND THE DYNAMICS OF THE DOMINANCE HIERARCHY - will, as jordan peterson, as kermit the frog

Holy shitttt the part where they summon two Tom Waits. Fucking love this part dude.

"One of these kids sent me an envelope full of teeth." - Will, Every Rose Has a Gun

Oh man I remember this part. This is what kicks off Will's realization that he's a bone guy. This also the episode where he says something to the effect of, "Maybe I don't like it when people call me a gay vampire who's into bones because that's who I really am, and I don't like being seen." I think about that bit a lot.

"I do have a tupperware full of fragments of an actual human skull." - Will, Every Rose Has a Gun

"It looks like I really am the person who I hate being seen as being." - Will, Every Rose Has a Gun

"That's really what it is. I get frustrated with being confused for this gay space vampire obsessed with bones. Umm, and the reason I don't like it is just 'cause I don't like to be seen." - Will, Every Rose Has a Gun

"Shut the fuck up. William? Get it together. Shut the fuck up." - Chris, Every Rose Has a Gun (meanwhile Will is laughing in the background)

"This is a podcast about focus and drive and ambition and power and becoming the best version of yourself. With that in mind, 'How to get yolked in the apocalypse?'" - Chris, Every Rose Has a Gun (I wrote yolked instead of yoked because that's how he says it)

Lmaooo Chris whispering into Will's ear in the middle of the night that ghosts are very strong.

"Chris is one of the only people I've met who has a ghost without having died first." - Will, Every Rose Has a Gun

Oh fuck the Lola Bunny bits in this episode.

"Hold on I'm pulling up more motivational graphics. (mumbling a bit) Safe search: off. Aaaand lo..la..bun-ney...1996" - Will, Every Rose Has a Gun

"Listen... Listen. If you wanna criticize what conservatives are doing, you---you be my guest. But you wanna kinkshame all... kink. *snicker* kinkshame all of 'em? It's not necessary." - Will, Every Rose Has a Gun

"...and and y'know... near the end when we were watching Space Jam 1996, something Awoke in my friend William." "(laughing) That's a fucking bald-faced lie. You rat bastard. It awoke Early on in the film." - Chris then Will, Every Rose Has a Gun

HOLY SHIT CHRIS'S TOMMY LASAGNA VOICE. so good.

Oh. Yeah. The cocaine cum gutters. This was the question about pyramid schemes. With the callback to Leopard Planet. (sentences that have words people can understand individually, but not put together)

Why do they spend half the Big Carl episode talking about that Steven Seagal movie. That was an extremely rhetorical question. I know why, and I love it.

Ong how have I not posted this here yet

[gyusfavlibra]

THIS IS MY WORK! PLEASE DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ON OTHER SITES/APPS!!!!

Warnings: +18, smut, fingering, hand job, sex in bathroom, language, jealousy, fighting, arguing.

Y/n and Sarah sat quietly on Kie's bed as they waited for Kiara to stop degrading the lavender dress she wore while standing in her large mirror. Mrs. Carrera coming through the door to make sure the girls were all dressed. "This is disgusting."

"I know it's just horrible."

"I'm asking you guys to just relax and go to a fun party."

"I look like a bourgeoisie pig."

"I think you look beautiful," y/n said while shrugging at Kie. She just gave a smile back to her, still hating the look no matter what compliments were given.

"Will you please not worry about socioeconomic injustice for one night?"

"Mom, people not three miles from her have no power, no running water, and we're going to Midsummers."

"That's so tone deaf."

"Y/n," the mother scolded at her niece. "Do you know how hard we had to work to get into the Island club?"

"Yeah, mom. How could I forget? You had to grovel for, like, ten years--"

"Twelve years, and we also had to cough up a huge chunk of dough-"

"To keep up with the Joneses-"

"No, so you had the same experiences that I had as a child."

"But weren't parents as teens out, like partying, getting drunk, making out in the backseats of their cars at drive in movies," the cousin listed while putting her things in its bag. "Getting pregnant."

"That doesn't sound fun," Sarah added.

"Do you girls even know what the Island club is?"

"A factory farm."

"For debutantes," Y/n raised her eyebrows.

"It's a nice place, with nice people where you can do fun stuff."

"With out-of-touch rich people, while the island sinks slowly into the ocean."

"Water filling the poor's destructive lungs while the wealthy ones get away on million dollar boats."

Sarah sat quietly laughing on the comfy blanketed mattress. Mr. Cerrera sighed, saying one last thing before walking out. "Okay, I want you to put on your party face, girls, if you want to live."

"Did your mom just threaten to kill us?"

"Maybe. I think so," she nods as she turned around to the duo, fixing the flower crown that sat on her cousin's head. "You nervous to see Rafe."

"Why did you have to bring that up?"

"I was curious. I know it's only been two days, but-"

"Hey, he broke up with me. So if he wants to talk, that's in his duty. Not mine. I did nothing wrong."

Sarah got off the bed, swinging on it's pole. "Except flirt with JJ, or so he says."

"I was not...flirting with JJ. He has a crush on Kiara. I'd never."

"But Rafe doesn't know that."

°°°°

*flashback*

"What if she doesn't like it?"

"She'll love it. She's hippie."

Y/n and JJ sat on John B's porch, smoking a blunt. The girl was trying to help him do something nice for Kiara so JJ could ask her out without feeling weird. He's liked her for the longest and he was finally ready to tell her how she feels.

"Alright, now practice what you're gonna say."

Just as Y/n finished saying the statement, her own boyfriend, Rafe Cameron showed up. Standing behind them listening in.

"Okay, uh, hey I have to tell you something...uh important," the blonde began speaking, using hand gestures because of his nerves. "I really really like you. Like not like friends like, but I have feelings, uhm, strong feelings for you. Because you're like super hot, andnyou're like a really cool chick. So I was wondering if maybe you'd wanna...go out with me."

"Yes, t-"

"What the hell!"

The manly unknown voice shocked them both, their figures jumping at the sound because they thought they were alone.

"Rafe, what're you doing here?"

Y/n asked confusedly as she stood from the steps. The Kook just scoffed and walked back out. Ignoring her question. She shared a glance with JJ before going to follow after him.

"Hey! Where you going? What's wrong?"

"A pogue!? Y/n, seriously?!"

"What're you talking about?"

"You're cheating on me with a pogue?" He shouted. Y/n scrunched her eyebrows, looking at the unnecessary upset individual.

"What do you mean cheating? I'm not cheating on you. We were just talking."

"Bullshit. That's bullshit! I heard it all."

"Rafe, it's not like that. Jj was just-"

"I should've known better. I should've known," he fumed. His right foot swung to kick the dirt near his truck that he was so very close to getting into.

"Known what?"

"I should've never trusted a pogue. I knew something like this was gonna happen. You were just gonna throw me away like Sarah did, Topper. Right? Huh?"

"You sound ridiculous. I was never throwing you away. I was helping him out."

"Yeah, while you're at it. Might as well help sleep with him too."

Y/n scoffed, taking a step back from the angered boy who's brain had just functioned what he said. Part of him regretted it very much. But the other part thought you deserved it because of his cheating accusation.

He opened his vehicle door. Stepping one foot inside. "We're done."

The girl just laughed with held tears reaching for the openess. She turned around to head back inside as Rafe just drove off.

°°°°

"Hey, no tearing up today. Go to this stupid thing and show him that his little cheating accusation act didn't hurt you at all. You're stronger than that."

"Thanks, Kie."

The girls finished up their last minute touches. That includes sweeping their dresses with roller for no hair, any makeup redos, or hair finishes. The ride to the country club was quiet. Well, y/n was quiet.

This would be her first time seeing Rafe since their break up a three days ago. They've been doing everything in their mighty to avoid each other. And it definitely worked. But like her friend told her, she wasn't gonna get worked up. Letting Rafe see her weak was like telling him he was right about everything. But he wasn't.

"Jesus, Kook land."

"I forgot how packed this thing is every year."

"Well, let's go. I gotta walk out with my family."

The Cameron family walked out with their heads high and the Kook crowd cheered for each one. Y/n kept her eyes gazed to Kiara since they were in the middle of a conversation. Not caring if that family came in or not. That excludes Sarah.

Rafe watched from his spot by his dad, as they exited to outside. Breath hitched when he saw Y/n and her dress. It was a dark toned red, had tulle, and a revealing  chest opening.

A red flower crown on her head, complimenting her beautiful down hair. She looked amazing and hot to Rafe. He had to clear his throat before excusing himself.

"Hey," the red dresses girl heard from beside her as a hand landed on her lower back. She removed it before her eyes retracted to theirs. Kie just pursed her lips before leaving to hangout with Sarah. Y/n internally screaming that she left her there.

"What do you want?"

"Uh, you look nice."

"Okay. Thanks. You don't too. What do you want?"

"Nothing. Just saying hi."

"Bye."

"Wait, wait, wait. Why are you mad at me? Shouldn't I be the mad one here?"

"Why?"

"Because of what you did," he said with furrowed eyebrows. Y/n shrugged.

"I didn't do anything."

"Do- do you not remember what happened on the cut three days ago? The fight."

"You slut shaming me and accusing me of cheating with JJ. That? Yeah, I remember that."

"Accused? I heard you."

"Heard what exactly?"

"JJ, was telling you he liked you and thought you were a cool hippie chick, which you are not. You're not hippie. And then he asked you out and you said yes. As soon as I walked in."

Y/n stared at him blankly. Before bursting out laughing. A few guests behind them staring with a look that showed they weren't used to loud talkers or laugher. "Oh my god. You thought? Jesus that's absolutely hilarious."

"What is?"

"That you think- you think that JJ was confessing feelings to me. Whew that's rich."

"I heard it, Y/n."

"He wasn't confessing anything to me you shit head. He was practicing for when he asked out Kiara."

Rafe was confused. Majorly. Inside and out. "But she-"

"He likes Kiara. And she's my cousin. You think I'd really hurt anyone like that? How low of me do you think? Have fun at this party."

Y/n walked off to go look for her disappeared friends. Not wanting to spend another second in a spot with someone who was so rude over something he knew nothing about. Just assumed. Never asked.

As she walked down the corridors of the porch that many people stood on drinking, a hand grabbed her shoulder, turning her around. Her eyes fixated on the blonde in a black tux and a bow tie.

"Holy shit, JJ. You scared me. What're you doing here?" She asked as she hugged him.

"Well, Sarah somehow convinced her dad to let me in tonight to hangout with Kie."

"Have you seen her?"

"I was just looking for her myself. C'mon. She's probably inside."

She grabbed his hand. Pulling him inside. They found Kie just minutes later with Pope. He was working the grill with his dad. Sarah was getting raided by Topper about their own stupid shit. Y/n decided to go get herself a drink and maybe find someone to dance with.

The straw rested on her lips as she stood against the porch railing. Gazing over all the people who say around laughing, probably bragging about their money, summer vacations, their older kids getting into a good college. Typical kook things.

Her eyes focused on a specific couple talking off to the side. Her eyes burning a whole in the back of Rafe's head as he tried to flirt up a storm with some Kook she didn't know whatsoever.

Her body was fuming. Was Rafe really gonna sit in front of her and flirt with a whole other girl that isn't her. Just a few days after their breakup. It's like he's trying to play victim. And she's had it.

"Hey, Sancho. Lassie."

The brunette Rafe was talking up a storm to laughed. "I'm sorry who are you?"

"Oh, you gonna introduce me to your side piece here?"

"Would you stop? We're just talking."

"Talking? Yeah, okay," Y/n laughed. The girl just looked at her dazed. "Hi, I'm his girlfriend. Y/n. And you, yeah you're excused."

Rafe was truly enjoying this scene. Internally rooting for Y/n. He wasn't gonna object to that fact that she called herself his girlfriend. Because now that he knew the truth, it changed his perspective.

"Who do you think you are?"

"I already told you. Wh- can you not hear correctly?"

"He said he was single so, why-"

"He lied. So, you can go away now- Rafe. Let's go. We need to talk."

"What're you his mother now?" The rando questioned. Y/n turned to her and gripped her face.

"If you wanna keep these teeth, then I suggest you stop talking. Go find somebody else's boyfriend to mack on."

She dragged Rafe by his hand into the upstairs private bathroom. Locking the door behind her. "What're you doing?"

"Just having a friendly conversation. There a problem?"

"You were flirting, Rafe. That was flirting," she paced. Hand against her for head.

"Like you're any better. You lied to me."

"I've never lied about anything."

"You said JJ liked Kiara."

"Yeah. He does."

"Then why is he holding your hand, hugging you, and leaving inside with you instead of the girl he supposedly likes," Rafe argued. Gripping onto the large counter.

"Rafe, I grabbed his hand and brought him inside to find Kiara. And I hugged him because I was happy for my friend. God, Rafe how many times do I have to tell you that I am not cheating on you."

"It's kind of hard to believe that shit when I keep seeing things with my own eyes."

"Then stop assuming and come ask me. Jesus, do you not trust me or something. Because I trust you. Anytime I hear that you're at a party doing lines with hot blonde's next to you, I brush it off because I know you'd never. Why can't you just do that for me."

Rafe stood from his seat. Pinching the bridge of nose. The guilty conscience grazed through his mind as he listened to her words. He had issues with trust and with others, but he knew it wasn't a reason to take it out on the only person who's loved him for him.

"I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry. You're right. I should trust you. Just like you trust me. I'll work on it. I promise."

"Don't promise me that. Just show me that you love me just as much."

The words clicked. He did love her. And he cared about her. More than anyone in this world. And he wanted to show her. In the most physical way possible.

"C'mere."

"Why?"

"Just c'mere," he repeated as he grabbed her by her waist, pulling her closer to him. She stumbled, but Rafe's grip kept her in place. He moved his face closer to hers, lips almost touching as they grazed against each other.

He used the hand placed on her waist to grip the fabric of her dress. Pulling it upwards. Her breath hitched as he hand snaked under the red tulle and right onto her now soaking core. His pointy finger swept across the waistband of her panties.

Y/n wasn't expecting this as the outcome from their miniature argument but she wasn't complaining. And neither was Rafe.

He pushed her underwear down as much as he could from their position, before going back to her walls and making circular motions. Rafe finally closer the space, kissing her lips practically roughly as he continued rubbing her.

He kept a firm hand on her waist to make sure she had a gripping support if he legs gave out, which they indeed will. The motions stopped as Y/n pulled her lips away from his. Rafe stared at her daring eyes, questioning if she wanted his to continue.

"Put them inside me," she whispered. The Cameron smirked before obliging to her demand. He stuck to fingers into her wet cunt. A soft moan escaped her lips as he did so. Pumping them in and out of her. Y/n rubbed her hand against the erection in his dress pants.

"You like that, yeah?"

She nodded as the locked her lips. Not being able to speak because knowing if she did, she let out a loud moan and even at this club would hear.

She unbuckled his pants, putting her handninside to grip his penis and pump it as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. The hand he held to her waist was now gripped on her neck, gently. Y/n clenched around his fingers. Feeling her high come close. "Dont stop."

Rafe began pumping faster just as Y/n did so. The teens were so horny that they were both already reaching their extent. Rafe's shaft twitched in her hand. "I'm cumming."

"Do it for me."

That's all it took for Y/n to finish. And Rafe too. His liquids filling her hands as they both let out moans due to their intense actions. In one swift motion, Rafe snaked a hand around Y/n's waist turning then so she was against the counter. Her pulled the straps of her dress of her shoulders, leaving kisses as he did so before connecting his lips to hers.

Her pulled his tuxedo jacket off him. Snapping the bowtie off as well. Y/n moaned at the tluchnof his hands on her breast. Massaging them in his hands over the fabric of her strapless bra.

Y/n unbuttoned the spots on his shirt before pulling it off his shoulders and onto the floor. Rafe stop his gripping motions and pulled down his pants and boxers. He sat her up on the counter. Her bare ass connecting to the coldness of the marble designed setting.

Rafe rubbed his tip against her fold once or twice before pushing himself into her. Not giving a warning, but Y/n loved the suddeness. Y/n let a moan into his next as he began thrusting his hips. The girl gripping her black painted nails into his back.

Rafe's eyes rolled to the back of his head. Enjoying the feelings of Y/n's cunt wrapped around him.

"You like that?"

"Yes, god yes."

Y/n sat up, wrapping her arms around his neck. Each moan and huff she exposed in his earn make his whole body shiver. Rafe let out a grunt before answering. She clenched her walls around his dick. The dirty blonde groaned slamming into her body. "Do it again."

She did so. Clenching around around the boy as he slammed into her again. This time, hitting the spot that made her whole body go insane. "Tell me I'm yours."

"You're mine."

A moan escaped her lips after he said what she had wanted. Her hand smacked down onto the edge of the sinks counter. Grilling onto it for dear life. "Tell me it again."

The feeling of her finishing was fastly approaching. As well as for Rafe. The moans she let out made his go over the edge as he fucked her hard. "Tell me, Rafe."

"You're fucking mine, ah-"

Each of them let out a loud moan as they finished. Covering each others mouths. There shouldn't be anyone upstairs but for precautions they covered either way.

Rafe's head fell forward onto her chest. Taking large breaths as y/n did too. "Shit, y/n."

The Cameron pulled out of her. Helping her get redressed and cleaned just after he did himself.

"You're still on the pill right?" He asked as he zipped his pants.

"Yeah. It's fine," she smiled up at his 6'4 figure. Rafe reached down to kiss her passionately.

"I love you, Y/n."

"I love you, too."

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

what happened the first time Wes tried to crack open the Danny is Phantom conspiracy did he like, confront Danny first or was it all behind his back like, maybe hoping ground zero would be lost among the gossip and that Danny wouldn't find out who spilled the beans once everyone knew

I mean it obviously wouldn't work because nobody believed him and the gossip didn't take off very far beyond a few people talking about Wes being kinda weird

I should absolutely write a fic about this.

I am absolutely going to write a fic about this.

I AM RIGHT NOW GOING TO WRITE A FIC ABOUT THIS.

----

"Hey Fenton! Fenton!!" Dash came bounding over and threw a meaty arm around his shoulder.

"Jesus Dash! What?!" Danny buckled under the weight (pretended to anyway) as Dash gave him a surprisingly lighthearted punch on the arm.

"You haven't heard?! Wes has this total batshit insane theory, it's hilarious!"

Dash was in a genuine giggle-fit, Danny didn't think he'd ever seen him this merry, he was also starting to suspect he was going to leave this conversation being the butt of the joke somehow. Wait-

"Wes? Who the heck is Wes?" Danny asked, it wasn't like he knew everyone in school, like Dash seemed to.

"He's on the basketball team, you know, tall guy, red hair, threw a sick move at least month's game! You know, WES!"

"I didn't watch that game."

"Oh," said Dash, flatly, "Oh yeah, almost forgot you're a total nerd. Anyway, like I was saying!"

Dash grabbed Danny by the shoulders and nearly lifted him off the floor.

"Wes thinks," he could barely speak through his giggling, he even snorted a few times, "Wes thinks your secretly PHANTOM."

Dash dropped Danny back down as he doubled over laughing.

"Could you imagine?! You! You're not even DEAD!" Dash honest to god slapped his knee in mirth.

Danny went through an incredibly swift array of emotions in the span of about five seconds.

The first was fear, clear and bracing, then came confusion, how did he know? Had he seen something? Then there was hope, Dash didn't believe it, and if DASH didn't believe it, maybe nobody else believed it either. Then relief, he could roll with this, he could TOTALLY roll with this! Dash was right! It was absurd, it was ridiculous, it was hilarious, him being Phantom? What utter nonsense!

Sam and Tucker had been standing by his side at a Dash-safe distance, looking absolutely horrified. Sam looked ready to jump in and lay down a swift defence, but Danny gave a quick little low wave for her to stand down. He got this.

"Oh my god SERIOUSLY?" Danny busted out a slightly hysterical laugh, okay so he wasn't completely over the initial terrified anxiety.

"How could I- I mean what- WHY does he think I'M Phantom?! I mean how does that even work I don't-"

Dash clapped him on the shoulder, this was probably the most contact he'd ever had with him without being physically assaulted.

"I know right?! Like apparently he thinks you look alike? And he's all like 'But I've seen his eyes glow green' and 'they're never in the same roo-hoo-hoom." Dash wheezed and started hacking and coughing.

Danny carefully constructed a look of offence.

"Hey I mean, it's not THAT funny. Why couldn't I be Phantom! I know how to use a Fenton Thermos! Look I even HAVE one right-" he torn open his backpack and pulled one out, making sure to fumble it in a terrific display of fuck-uppery and drop it noisily on the cafeteria floor, he dropped to his knees trying to grab it but knocked it under a table.

A few girls standing nearby who'd been listening in started tittering, one of the guys sitting at the table snorted milk through his nose and Dash was just about on the floor in hysterics.

Even Sam and Tucker covered their mouths in an attempt to look like they were holding in laughter. Tucker muttered to Sam, just loud enough for people around to hear.

"I mean, he's our friend and we love him, but god that was painful to watch. He knows he's terrible at ghost hunting! He's got like, nothing but thumbs."

Danny climbed under the table, grabbed at the thermos and lifted it up as he crawled back out.

"See! See! I have a thermos! I could TOTALLY be Phantom!"

Sam walked over and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "It's okay bud, I think you'd be a great Phantom." her voice was thick with her usual sarcasm, soaked in pity though it were.

Danny's ears burned in embarrassment, he might have been humiliating himself on purpose, but it was still humiliating, watching everyone laugh at him for being so weak and incompetent. He was grateful to his friends for pushing through their discomfort and keeping up the act, it was still painful, but it came with a wash of pure unadulterated relief.

Nobody believed this Wes guy, nobody thought it could be even remotely possible. People would talk about it for a little while, have a laugh, maybe there would be a few memes and in-jokes, but eventually it would drop off. People would forget all about it and it would be just another notch on the gossip mill belt.

Even if someone DID believe it, they could never admit it for fear of vicious ridicule, for once in his life peer pressure was his friend.

And then Wes walked in.

Once Danny saw him he realised that he did recognise Wes, he'd seen him hanging around Kwan a few times, and chatting with Star, he was also in Danny's english class. That was about as familiar as he got with the guy, they'd never spoken a word to each other.

Wes had a terrifying expression of seething fury ripping across his face. He was glaring at Dash.

"It's NOT. FUNNY."

Dash was completely unable to stand, it was honestly overkill, Danny almost thought he was hamming it up on purpose, but maybe not, his face was turning an alarming shade of red after all.

"Wes don-" Dash gasped. "Don't do this to me man, I can't brea-" Dash was gasping for air, trying desperately to hold down the giggles.

Danny could almost see steam rising as Wes seethed. Then suddenly that furious stare was shooting daggers straight at him. Danny shrank into himself, looking as small and helpless as he possibly could.

"Uh hey Wes, um, I've heard the news." he joked tacking on a nervous laugh for emphasis. "Uh, soooo," he tossed the thermos from hand to hand, nearly dropping it again. "Is this like, just a joke or do you really-?"

Dash continued to wheeze, Kwan was holding him up by the arm, muttering about getting some water to cool off.

Wes strode over until he and Danny were face to face, he was taller by a good couple inches, even more so with Danny making a conscious effort to appear small.

Wes jabbed a sharp finger into his collarbone.

"Don't think I'm fooled by this pathetic act you've got going on, I am ONTO you, Phantom." he spat.

Danny glanced sidelong at the table beside him, silently begging for assistance, they only watched in silence, strained faces trying not to laugh. A glance the other way to his friends, they simply shrugged.

"Um, okaaay," Danny started backing away slowly. "Uh look Wes I am honestly really flattered but, do we really look that alike?" Danny ran a hand through his hair and then pointed up at Wes. "I mean we BOTH kinda have Phantom's haircut."

Sam deadpanned from the sidelines, "Maybe they're BOTH Phantom."

"We should start marketing that haircut." Tucker muttered to himself, tapping something on his tablet. "We could make a fortune, are you any good at hairdressing?"

Sam shot him a look of disgust and did not dignify the question with a response.

"Don't play dumb you two," said Wes, flipping his focus, "You're definitely in on this!"

The entire cafeteria was awash with giggles by this point. Just about everyone had heard about Wes' theory, but were mostly convinced it was some kinda joke. Now? Now they knew Wes was straight up fucking delusional.

He glanced around as people laughed, at him. At HIM.

"It's not funny!" he yelled over the crowed, the tittering increased in volume. Someone across the room yelled-

"Hey if I get the haircut, can I be Phantom too?"

One of the goths stood up on her seat.

"I've GOT the haircut! Mom says it's MY TURN to be the Phantom!"

There was a fresh round of mirthful laughter, some kids wheezing as hard as Dash had been. Another few kids piped up above the cacophony, throwing jokes of their own.

"I've got a soup thermos so I'm Phantom now, sorry sweaty I don't make the rules."

"If I wear a Phantom shirt does that make me Phantom ALL the time or am I only Phantom when I'm wearing it?"

"I have an ass, Phantom has an ass. Conclusion: I am Phantom's ass."

"Tag yourself I'm the thermos."

"DO THE BUTTS MATCH?"

Wes had been trying to scream over the din, infuriated, desperate to find SOMEONE who would listen.

Danny gave him a pat on the back.

"Hey, if it makes you feel any better, The Guys in White once hunted some guy down because he had white hair, if a government agency can fuck that up then-"

Wes slugged him.

It wasn't a particularly solid punch like Dash's hits, it was quick and precise, Was wasn't a brawny guy, but he was lean and fast and had good aim.

Danny whuffed out a heavy breath as Wes' fist collided with his sternum and he collapsed to the floor.

Everyone in the cafeteria lost their shit, a few people screamed and one table of football jocks all stood up chanting, "FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT."

Tucker ran over to him as Sam stepped up and without hesitation slammed a fist straight into Wes' nose.

The footballers lost their minds, one of the goths stood up on their table screaming "REPRESEEENT!!"

Wes backed up immediately, crying out from the sharp pain blossoming across his face, he'd never been hit before and couldn't pull his thoughts together quick enough to throw a punch back at her, so he was taken by surprise once again as Sam placed a solid roundhouse kick to his stomach.

He had certainly not been expecting that kind of brute strength from her, she had incapacitated him swiftly and effectively, barely having broken a sweat.

One of his teammates hollered over the crowd and came barrelling down on the goth, she dodged without batting an eye and darted nimbly out of the way, giving the guy a quick kick in the pants to throw him off balance as she rocketed for the cafeteria door.

As Wes took a deep breath through his mouth, his nose dripping blood, he realised that Danny and Tucker were gone. The fight had lasted only seconds but Sam had run distraction well enough for the boys to take off without anyone noticing, a glance around showed Tucker supporting Danny about to exit through the cafeteria doors.

The doors opened to an out of breath Mr Lancer on the other side.

"'The Light Fantastic!' WHAT is going on here?!"

Oh they were all so fucked.