#is it that best? oh g-d absolutely not

[socialistexan]

While it's nice to live in an area where you aren't expected to go out when there's even small amounts of ice/snow, it's not so nice living an area where our power grid and infrastructure are so fragile that it can't handle small amounts of ice/snow.

Up until about 20 minutes ago, I had power for all of an hour today in freezing cold temperatures. And most of that hour was spent on a work meeting/call. Hellscape.

[multimilfs]

Agnes O'Connor x Fem!Reader: Poking The Bear

Summary: Agnes has the misfortune of being called in to work a murder case on Christmas Eve. When she leaves you frustrated, you decide to do what you do best; poke the bear.

AO3

A/N: I said "is anyone going to humiliate this woman in this ultra-specific way?" and didn't wait for an answer. Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals <3

Words: 8k

Included: Established relationship, Christmas, Porn with plot; g!p, teasing, somnophilia (implied), dacryphilia, phone sex, accidental orgasm, semi-public sex, humiliation, jealousy, blowjobs, dom/sub, sub space, throatfucking, unprotected sex, masturbation, light breeding kink, light degradation, praise, orgasm denial.

Tag List: @vii-v @absolute-memegarbage @crazycatladycaceta @hannah-0730 @shinysuitcloud @bubbly-moonwarrior @emilynissangtr @onemansdreamisanothermansdeath @thelesbianapollokid4 @dmtrxie @notice-shy @vintagegoddess12 @rosie6reyes @softfruity @tragicsapphic34 @msharkness @setsuna1415 @kermidd5 @snickerdoodles-stuff @women-are-so-ethereal @imlike-so-gaydude @lotus-ignis @n0body-is-perfect @goblinscum420 @d-z20 @borntodieedition28 @autbot @ee-bah-sims @kathrynscontroversiallyyounggf @renravens @theothersideofthescreen @sp3c-tr0 @sapphicharknesss @coffeelover245 @madamslaytan @heady-pomegranate @ragnarockz @escapetodreamworld @multifandomfix @ghostsunderstoodmysoul @imtrashinflames @goforgreat @welmelsblog @igoturmoney @mol2311 @obnoxiouslycontemplating @bellatrix-black8 @deathly777 @emmasaviorqueen-blog @greatygreatgreat @chlizets @latedawnearlysunsets92

Through the peaceful, warm silence of the morning, an alarm clock blares.

Agnes growls under her breath as she does every morning, lumbering from the comfort of the bed and over to the windowsill where the alarm clock sits. A particularly rough blow shuts it up.

God, why did she let Vidal insist on this shift?

Her routine is simple enough she could do it with her eyes closed; and does, for most of it. It isn���t until she turns the shower to a cooler temperature that she feels anywhere close to awake. She needs coffee—bad.

Halfway through said cup of coffee and one of the donuts you picked up, she realizes she hasn’t kissed you good morning yet.

You grumble a bit when she turns you over, untucking your head from the blankets, but you don’t wake. You look heavenly, painted in the warm glow of the Christmas tree you insist on keeping plugged in all night. Agnes smiles.

Pressing her lips to your forehead, she murmurs, barely a whisper, “Be good, baby.”

A hand wraps around her wrist and she startles. Pulling back, your eyes haven’t opened.

“Agnes, come back to bed.” You say, voice gravely from sleep.

“Vidal will be on my case if I don’t show.”

“I can make your morning better than Vidal can.”

You stretch, curling back into the blankets, but hold her wrist just tight enough to indicate you’re still half awake. It’s good your eyes are closed; she doesn’t need you seeing all the kinds of fond you’re making her.

Agnes really shouldn’t get you started, but curiosity kills cats, not bears, “Oh yeah? How would you do that, baby?”

“You’d come back to bed and sleep until I say.”

“And then what?” She prods, trying not to laugh.

“Then we’ll have a really nice breakfast. Donuts for you.”

“What would you have?”

“You.” You answer, casual and so matter-of-fact, “I’ll even swallow, out of Christmas spirit or something.”

Agnes jolts at the change. Though true to form, she can feel the familiar coil of arousal between her legs. She really shouldn’t have gotten you started.

She’s half awake, she won’t remember this, Agnes tells herself as she tries to move from her kneeling position on the bed. Your grip on her wrist remains.

“Sleep. We’ll have fun when I get home.”

“It’s Christmas Eve.” You whine.

“I’ll be home before you know it, I swear.”

“Fine. ‘Love you.” You murmur.

You rescind your hand and turn over, pacified as you burrow back under the covers. Agnes shakes her head.

“Love you too.” She whispers.

With one last parting kiss to your forehead, she’s gone, with you none-the-wiser.

—

You wake up a mess.

There’s a half-remembered conversation with Agnes lingering in your mind, but it’s hazy enough to feel like a dream; an unsatisfying one, the persistent throbbing between your legs says. You offered to blow her, you remember that much—it’s all pretty blank after that.

No, there was something about having fun when she got home, too.

You can’t wait that long.

It isn’t until two of your fingers are knuckle-deep and you’re missing the fullness Agnes offers that the idea strikes you. You scramble blindly for the phone on your night-stand. The movements change the angle of your fingers and you whine, rolling your hips, even as the blind grabs for your phone grow more frustrated.

Once found, it is ripped viciously off the charger, and you open it, going through your messages for the quickest access to her number. You grin at the contrast between your long-winded messages and Agnes’ one word responses.

An infinitesimal movement of your hips reminds you of your intention.

The phone is brought to your ear and it rings… and rings… and rings…

…and rings…

“O’Connor.” Her gruff voice comes down the line.

Your breath hitches in your throat. You squeeze around your own fingers at the sound.

“Yes, Detective, I’d like to report a crime.”

There’s a brief pause on the other end.

“Go on.”

“Well, my wife woke me up this morning and got me turned on, and she didn’t even have the decency to fuck me before she left. What kind of woman does that, Detective?”

You can hear the curve of her grin, “A lousy one. That’s a pretty serious crime.”

Maybe it’s the low, lilting drawl of her voice down the line. Maybe it’s the way you can see how she’s sitting in your mind; shoulders back against the seat but hips forward, legs splayed with careless confidence, one hand toying with her belt. Maybe it’s the easy humor she slips into with you that she’s never had with anyone else.

Whatever it is, two sentences from her brings you closer to finishing than thirty minutes with your hand has.

You whimper, “Keep talking.”

Another pause. Then the faint rustle of fabric.

“What are you doing?”

Her tone is utterly serious. Unforgiving. And god if it isn’t the sexiest thing you’ve ever heard.

“What do you think I’m doing?”

Finally showing your clit some attention, you moan shamelessly. It’s nice to feel full, but your fingers never quite reach the right spots, and you can’t get off on penetration alone—with Agnes or otherwise. It’s fun to work yourself up though; pushing to the heights you can reach there before really giving yourself the stimulation you want.

If she keeps talking, that—combined with the circling motions on your clit—will send you straight over the edge.

The anticipation builds over the line. For a moment, you pull the phone away to make sure she hasn’t hung up. She’s likely weighing the best thing to say to both turn you on and strike the fear of punishment into you.

Instead, her tone is almost pleading, “Don’t do this now.”

An image strikes you of making Agnes beg, of driving her to a point where the easy dominance falls away, and she’s reduced to chasing whatever kindness you give. It brings you so much pleasure it hurts. You need it. But how to get it?

“Is Agent Vidal in the room with you?” You ask.

The idea of Vidal witnessing what you’re doing to Agnes makes your toes curl.

“No.”

“I thought you were stuck with her today.”

“Leave Vidal out of this.” She demands, but it’s strangled.

She’s clawing for control over the situation, scrambling for a foothold. Normally, you’d give it to her. Normally.

“I don’t think I ask for much…” A lie. You make many requests in the sanctity of your bedroom, “all I wanted was for you to fix what you started.”

“Baby.”

You have to pull your fingers away from your clit, desperate to come but not ready yet.

“There are so many ways you could have done it, too. You could have woken me up with your head between my legs… or with you inside me. It could have been nice, right?”

Only the sound of her breathing comes down the line. Heavy, uneven, like when she’s holding herself over you, hips driving her deeper—

God, you’re so close.

You whisper, needing to know that she’s as affected as you, needing to hear her say it, “Are you hard, Agnes?”

“Yes.”

Even though you haven’t moved any part of your hand, the mental image nearly sends you tumbling over the edge.

“Will you come with me?”

“I…I can’t.”

You know. With the shades open, her office is basically an observation room; meaning if she were to do what you ask, there’s almost a guarantee she’d be caught. A sick part of you wants it. Wants to know that you have enough power over her to make her take the risk.

Gently, you begin to toy with your clit again. You can make her do what you ask. All you need is for her to say it—the confirmation that you’ve undone her so thoroughly that she can’t help but fist her cock under the desk where anyone could see.

“Please.” You beg.

You hear her inhale, the sound sharp in your ear. The words are on the tip of her tongue. Her eyes are no doubt shifting around the office, searching for the perfect way to hide what she’s about to do.

You’re standing on the precipice.

The harsh beeping of a disconnected call blares in your ear. Yanking it away, orgasm thoroughly ruined, you yell in frustration.

—

An officer pulls open the door before you can reach for it, nodding, “Ma’am.”

The precinct is busy for it being a holiday. Uniformed officers sit around desks, either on the phone or talking with others. You spy the Chief talking animatedly to a few toward the back.

They’ve really done up the place this year. Last year it’d been sad, grey. Now there are a few little trees spread around, some personal decorations here and there, a menorah on the front desk with candles waiting to be lit. It livens up the place.

In the back sits the partial vision of Agnes’ office. The blinds are somewhat closed, but she’s left the door open, allowing you enough of a glimpse to know she’s in there. You can imagine her without having to see; her sleeves rolled up to her elbows, hunched over the desk, hand toying with strands of her hair as she frowns over evidence.

Gazes follow as you cut through the center of it all. You do your best to ignore the heat working its way up your neck. Once upon a time, a few of the other officers had tried to catch your attention. You’d entertained a few of them. But they were minnows, and you wanted the shark.

You wanted the unapproachable, stone-faced Detective O’Connor.

And you had been the one to catch Agnes, but her fellow officers couldn’t imagine their illustrious Detective not being the one to do the catching. If only they knew how you could have her eating from the palm of your hand.

A swift knock on the open door and you lean against it. She’s exactly as you imagined. Though there’s a faint sheen of sweat on her forehead and her fingers tap on the desk like she can’t sit still.

She doesn’t look up, barking, “I’m busy.”

“I’ll pass this off to one of the other officers then.”

Her head snaps up and you grin. Hanging from one of your fingers is a white takeout bag. The scent of orange chicken and rice permeates the air, but it isn’t what you’re hungry for.

Work forgotten, she looks you up and down, licking her lips. Her fingers twitch on the desk. You clear your throat and she snaps out of whatever daze she’s in. Clearing her own throat, she sits up, tugging on the bottom of her flannel shirt. Your smile widens.

“Close the door behind you.”

Stepping in, you kick it closed with a low, “Yes, Detective.”

“What are you doing here?”

“My job.” You cross to her desk, dropping the takeout bag on top. You’re perched on the edge closest to her. She looks up at you from her chair, lips pursed, tugging on her shirt again, “What kind of wife would I be if I let you go hungry?”

“None of the other guys get lunch delivered personally.”

“None of the other guys are married to me. Do I get a kiss for my troubles?”

Briefly, she looks out into the precinct—not that she can see much with the shades drawn—then back to your lips. Agnes shifts, licking her own, before nodding.

You lean forward and hold onto the chair by one arm, capturing her lips in a rough kiss. Your other hand palms the length you know pulsates between her legs. Upon contact she grunts into your mouth, hips bucking.

Her hand fumbles blindly for your wrist. Catching it in a firm grip, you can feel the tension in her frame as she decides whether to press you closer or shove you away.

Pulling back just enough to smile, “Poor baby. Have you been like this all day?”

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what, Detective?” You murmur.

Her breath hitches. Blue eyes so blown out they’re nearly black regard you, her chest rising and falling as she struggles for an even rhythm of breath. You test her grip and find its slackened. The palm of your hand caresses the entire outline of her through her jeans.

Agnes doesn’t push you away, but she doesn’t pull you closer, either. The hand on your wrist allows you enough movement to stroke slowly from base to tip. Every inch of her seems to jump at the whisper of your touch.

Looking into her eyes, you can see how she’s fighting for control. She just can’t find the path to it. Good. You want her like this—panting and desperate. It makes you clench around nothing.

“What have you been imagining all this time?”

She swallows. Clears her throat, “Vidal will be back soon.”

“I can be quick.”

“Anyone… could see.”

“We have a few options. Your favorite is off the table, though.”

The favorite in question being Agnes bending you over the desk and fucking you hard and fast. It’s efficient, allowing her drive in deep while having the benefit of spanking you as she chases her reward. Her cock twitches at the reminder.

She’s tense, taut with energy like she’s only a few strokes from finishing right here. The thought is hot and you want it, bad—but not all dreams can be reality.

“What do we have?” Agnes asks, finally.

“If I crawl under the desk no one would see what I’m doing.” You offer.

Your hand keeps moving. It’s more for yourself than anything; you like feeling her, hard and wanting, yet so restricted, jumping at the slightest bit of attention. A thumb swipes over where you know the head is and she chokes, hips stuttering from what had been a slow roll into your hand.

“Do it.” She demands.

The subtle authority returning to her voice sends a shiver down your spine. One more swipe of your thumb and she keens, before clamping her mouth shut.

You laugh. Waking up this morning, this is the last thing you expected for yourself from the day; but you can’t deny you’re enjoying every second.

“That’s my girl.” You praise.

Bracing to slide off the desk, there’s a knock on Agnes’ closed office door, and disaster strikes.

The knock startles you. You try to turn and look toward the door, but forget just how precarious your seating situation is on the edge of the desk. You lose your balance. You’re able to get your foot under you just enough to fall into Agnes’ lap, rather than onto the cold tile of the office.

Agnes lets out a cross between a harsh breath and a moan as you fall into her. Your back presses firmly to her front.

“Don’t—god, I’m gonna—”

Strong hands settle on your hips to shove you off, but it’s too late. Agnes grunts. Nails dig into your sides as she ruts helplessly against your backside, unloading spurts of cum with every press of her hips.

You freeze in shock.

Then out of habit your hands find hers. With one, you lace your fingers together. With the other you caress her wrist, brushing gently as you turn your head to meet her eyes, careful to keep every inch of your body where she needs you. Her hips tense, stuttering, whimpering as she fights the orgasm that’s ravaging her.

“It’s okay. Let it happen.” You encourage, brushing a finger against her inner wrist. A war is waging over her face as she’s caught between desire and shame. Desire must win out. Agnes movements pick up speed as she furiously grinds up against you, and you can’t help the praise that falls from your lips, “That’s it.”

Now that she’s given in, she can’t stop, the hands on your hips clenching as she presses closer, harder with every thrust, powerless to the desire she can’t stop shooting. A wounded noise leaves her throat. You empathize; you know well how getting what you want can quickly move into pained-pleasure, when your body just keeps giving and giving.

Agnes’ expression is pained, laced with helplessness to her pleasure. Her eyes don’t leave your own as she rides out the waves. You try to sit still, letting her take what she needs. She allows you to watch every twitch of her expression, hear every noise she lets slip—it’s an act of trust that overwhelms. Lifting a hand to her cheek, you wipe at the perspiration there.

Eventually, she relaxes into the seat, her hips stopping in their frantic search for friction. Her eyes slip closed and you watch her breathe.

You’re eternally grateful that whoever knocked didn’t barge in right after; there is no way you’d have been able to talk your way around what was happening. It’s a mercy that Agnes rarely shuts her office door—now that she has, everyone understands something important is going on.

Running a finger along her cheekbone, you whisper, “Are you okay?”

“What do you think?” She growls.

“Given the mess you just made, I’d say you’re on cloud nine.” You tease.

With a sudden show of strength, you’re shoved into a standing position. You turn to take in the weight of Agnes’ glare.

Agnes snarls, “Fuck you.”

“You could have… if you had a little self control.”

Your eyes fall to her lap for emphasis, the evidence of her desire stark against the front of her jeans. Her hands clench on the arm-rests. Blood has rushed to her face, painting her features in red hues that betray her forced calm.

The sight of her so humiliated is doing it for you; and you can see that she sees, regarding you with a loaded, wary look. It will take no shortage of negotiation, but you will be revisiting this again.

You open the take out bag and pluck out the napkins near the bottom. Carefully, you wipe them over the planes of her face, soaking up the sweat that had been clinging to her skin. Agnes doesn’t meet your eye.

“Agnes.” Waiting until she locks eyes with you, “It’s okay.”

She scoffs, “I came in my pants like a fucking teenager.”

“And it was hot.”

“You’re really something else, you know that?”

“Oh, I’m well aware. I also know that you love me for it.”

Agnes rolls her eyes.

“Unfortunately.”

“Careful, O’Connor, I can still give this lunch away to one of your coworkers.”

The bag is promptly snatched from your reach. You laugh.

Now that she’s standing, you breathe a sigh of relief; her flannel is long, perfectly hiding the evidence of your activities from the world. You just hope no one outside was looking in too closely.

Desire rears its head at the thought. You need to get out of here before you do something that’ll get you both caught.

You lean up and steal a kiss, “Enjoy your lunch, baby.”

When you open the door to leave, you come face-to-face with Agent Rio Vidal holding two cups of coffee in her hands. You startle and she raises her brows at seeing you.

“Agent Vidal.”

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here, sweetheart, or I would’ve bought an extra coffee.”

“That’s okay, I was just bringing Agnes something to eat.”

“Take mine.” The coffee cup is held between the two of you. You can see the faint mark of her lipstick on the lid as she leans in, “I don’t need the extra caffeine anyway.”

“Keep it, Vidal. She can have mine.”

You turn so you can take in both of them. Vidal is relaxed, posture brimming with a quiet confidence while Agnes is tense, staring at the two of you like she could throw something—and she would, if she didn’t think it’d encourage the former somehow.

Agnes has always been… odd around Vidal; moreso than the normal awkwardness between two exes. And Vidal has never been subtle with her interest in poking Agnes’ nerves.

Whatever it is, you’re going to use it and see where it takes you.

You accept the offered cup of coffee, making deliberate eye contact with Agnes as you take a long sip. A latte—thank god, Agnes’ black drip would’ve made you gag.

“Thanks for the coffee.” You murmur low. Then you throw your wife a smile, ignoring the promise of pain in her eyes, “See you at home, Agnes.”

—

Coming home you’re delighted to find a few last-minute packages on the porch. Carrying them in, one shifts heavily in your arms, and you know immediately what it is; one of the speakers in Agnes’ car crapped out on her a few months back, so the passenger-side only spits out static where there should be music—or the sports broadcasts, in your wife’s case; you bought her a new stereo system so she wouldn’t have to ‘make do’ anymore.

There’s also a few new shirts, a nice leather belt, and a watch she’d been eyeing but wasn’t willing to buy for herself. You wrap all of them with a smile on your face and slide them under the tree.

The busy work of it all eases the tension in your shoulders and some of the arousal between your legs. There’s a lingering peace in every corner of your home. It’s quiet, barring the music playing from the kitchen, casting a nostalgic glow over you where the lights seem just a little warmer.

You sit down on the couch and take it all in. Ornaments wobble on branches, glittering and winking at you as they twist. There’s a garland draped over the fireplace with dancing lights; you feel warmer inside when you remember how Agnes helped you set it up, shaking her head at your excitement.

With the bustle of the season, you’ve forgotten to take time like this to stop and let it sink in. So many spend Christmas alone, hungry, without a place to go. You don’t have to. You have a wife who will spend every second with you in the warmth of your home. Tears prick your eyes.

You fall asleep on the couch with that warm feeling in your chest.

—

The scent of garlic and butter tickles your nose. You snap awake.

Did you leave the stove on?

You shoot up from the couch and throw off the blanket you don’t remember grabbing. It falls to your feet, twisting in your ankles, and you do all you can not to fall face-first onto the floor. How long have you been asleep?

Wait. Did you even put anything on to cook?

Agnes’ flannel-clad back greets you when you round the corner. A sigh leaves you. One hand settles over your chest, willing your heartbeat to slow to a normal pattern. It all comes back to you; wrapping gifts, sitting down to enjoy the quiet, intending to get up and start dinner afterward.

You step into the kitchen and wrap your arms around her waist from behind, forehead resting between her shoulder blades. A hand lifts your own so she can press a kiss on the back.

“How was work?” You ask, voice muffled by her shirt.

“A waste of time.” She answers. Her form shifts, one shoulder tensing as she stirs what sits on the stove, “It could’ve waited until after Christmas.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault. Vidal’s a workaholic and fails to realize the rest of us aren’t.”

“You are most of the year.”

Agnes grunts noncommittally, “What trouble did you get into?”

“Wrapped a few gifts, took a nap. I’m surprised some of your guys weren’t beating down my door with how rowdy I was being.”

“Chief would’ve just sent me to handle you.”

“I’d like that… you, handling me…” You murmur, hand moving down her front with intent.

A strong, veined hand grabs your own. She forces it back to its former resting place. You keep your hand where it is directed. The haven you’ve found nuzzled against her back—surrounded by the scent of her cologne and the heat of her—is just as inviting as anything more salacious could be.

Something bubbles and pops on the stove. Agnes jolts, before relaxing. You drag yourself from your haven to look over her shoulder; a pan of sauce is stirred on one burner, boiling pasta churning away on another. Simple, but hearty.

You press a kiss to the skin you can reach, just behind her ear, “You’re getting better.”

Before, her dinner of choice would’ve been a canister of peanuts, maybe a microwave dinner.

“Don’t say anything until you’ve tasted it.”

“I’ll do what I want.” You answer.

“Don’t I know it.”

Jabbing her side with a finger until she cracks a grin, “Let me taste, so I can tell you how amazing it is.”

The wooden spoon is lifted from the sauce and over her shoulder to your mouth. You wrap your lips around it, immediately lulled further into bliss by the combination of onion, garlic, and tomato.

“Agnes, that is delicious.”

Her brows raise. With a flourish, she allows herself a taste.

“You love to stroke my ego.” She says in that self-deprecating tone you know well.

Your hand and mouth move before you think, “That’s not the only part of you I like to stroke.”

Whether by a lapse in understanding or simply because she lets you, your hand finds its mark before Agnes can stop it. The full width of your hand presses at the apex of her thighs. Your mouth drops open.

Agnes is painfully erect for the second time today with little work on your part.

She drops the spoon against the pan and removes your hand again, blunt nails biting into your skin in the way you like. You don’t react, still reeling from the information you’ve gleaned. Agnes libido isn’t what it once was—a reality of age—even if she’s like a well kept oldsmobile; capable of going the distance and then some once you get her properly started. But you’ve done very little in the way of actually getting her started since visiting the office.

“What on earth have you been up to today?” You ask, breathless.

“Don’t start.”

“I’d say you’re well past the starting point, given what I just felt.” A laugh escapes, then you pause, “You didn’t…”

Agnes curious gaze meets yours over her shoulder. Understanding dawns, along with indignation, “Of course not.”

“Needing a little extra help is normal.”

“This is all your doing.” She snaps, “Go sit down.”

“If it’s all my doing, you should let me fix it.” You coo.

In a sudden burst of movement, Agnes is out of your arms, sauce and pasta left behind on the stove. You blink. Did something happen at work? Have you hit a nerve?

She crosses the space to the kitchen table. The chair at the head of the table, facing the stove, is yanked from its resting place. You wince as it shrieks against the floor. But she either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care, turning the chair and meeting your eyes with a hard look, pointing.

“Sit.”

You move without thinking. There’s a subtle note of steel beneath the command that sends you into submission on instinct, like a pet might jump to obey their owner. The thought doesn’t chafe today; you want to be good, you want to obey.

Plopping down into the seat, hands settle on your shoulders. Agnes growls in your ear, “Stay.”

And you do.

As she finishes dinner, moving the pasta into the sauce with an unsure—but successful—flourish. As she nearly burns herself cutting the garlic bread fresh out of the oven. As she casts quick, dark glances your way every few minutes, as if having to make sure you’re where she left you.

You are the picture of poise and obedience, fighting every desperate urge for nearness to follow her command. But the longer she takes the harder it becomes. Hands settled on your thighs, your fingers scratch anxiously at the fabric of your pants, helpless and without any other way to expel this building energy.

“Agnes.” You whine.

“Quiet.”

It takes ages before she approaches you. She takes her sweet time putting dinner on plates, making it pretty in a way you know is just to drive you crazy; she doesn’t give two fucks about whether or not something looks nice as long as it tastes good.

Dinner is brought over to the table, but you tilt your head. Agnes only brought one plate.

“Up.” She commands, “You’re in my seat.”

You stand. Reaching for the chair next to hers, a hand on the back stops you from pulling it out. There’s the deep sound of porcelain meeting the wood of the table. As she leans around you, the scent of her cologne makes you dizzy.

Agnes snaps her fingers. You jolt, snapping back into your own mind. She points to the floor and your brows furrow. Then, it clicks, and your face grows warm.

You sink to your knees in front of Agnes’ chair as she sits in it.

“I can guess what a perp is going to do just by the way they sit in interrogation.” Agnes drawls, idly tapping her knee as her mind works, “But you… I can never guess how you’re going to act. Look at you now, all good and obedient for me, when you were acting like a whore in my office today.”

So caught up in the dizzying feeling of submission, you’ve been oblivious to the weight of your own desire. Agnes’ words change that in an instant. There’s a needy, pulsing beat between your legs, and you clench your thighs together in an attempt to help yourself. It doesn’t work.

“You started it.” You say, breathless.

You can’t breathe around your desire for her. Oxygen is a secondary need to the feel of her, whether she’s buried deep inside or grazing her fingers over your flesh; you want her and it hurts. But you keep your hands on the tops of your thighs.

Agnes chuckles. It’s a low, rolling thing. Agnes’ usual response to amusement is to grin, maybe even shake her head and scoff—laughter is a rare thing, aged and cultivated until it’s amber laced with smoke over your senses. You feel the heat of it. The intoxication it brings is warm, a weight settling comfortingly over the shoulders.

“I’m collecting on your offer from earlier.”

And with that, her thighs part, and you surge forward without being told. Her belt is unbuckled in one fell swoop. You moan, unable to help yourself, needy for the feel of her skin, to taste.

A testament to the overwhelm of your desire that the concept of toying with her again does not cross your mind. Your hand finds the desperate length of her cock, exposing it to the cool air.

It stands proud, tip flushed and leaking, veins stark against the fair skin. You pant. With single-focus, you lean forward.

An equally fair hand grips your jaw, forcing your eyes to Agnes’, “How many taps?”

You blink. You’re buried beneath desire, mind clawing its way to the surface.

“T-Three.”

Agnes nods and you’re free.

The first thing you do with your newfound freedom is flatten your tongue and lick a broad stripe up the length of her. The hand on your jaw goes slack in surprise, Agnes’ hips jumping. A groan echoes through the room.

You circle your tongue over the tip, drinking in her taste and the sounds falling from her lips. It’s heady, making the room fuzzy around the edges.

Submission brings with it a strange feeling of power. You’re doing as she bids, being good, but every sound and reaction coming from her is real; the truest manifestation of how well you’re doing to please her.

The world falls away. Your head feels floaty, strangely empty despite the manuevers you’re employing with your mouth. You don’t need words, you don’t need thoughts, you just need to offer Agnes whatever she wants.

Which you do by taking her cock in your mouth until she hits the back of your throat.

A thud sounds from her hand slamming on the tabletop, scrambling for something to grip as she chokes out, “Fuck!”

You do all you can to repress your gag reflex, forcing yourself to just relax everytime she hits the back of your throat. Agnes has her head thrown back, eyes closed, chest rising and falling as she pants, whimpering with every movement of your tongue and mouth.

Through it all, her hand remains on the side of your face, a careful guide. You can’t help the hand that sneaks under your skirt; Agnes is shaking with tension, begging to let go and chase her pleasure at your expense, but she’s holding herself back and guiding you through taking her in the way that would do the least harm.

You moan. Agnes’ cock twitches in your mouth and she matches your moan, a semblance of that control slipping with a particularly rough thrust. You gag, tears forming in your eyes.

The hand between your thighs shakes, fumbling for your clit while focusing on what really matters. You’re so wet there’s barely any friction.

You want Agnes to make you gag again. You want her to push into you and take what she wants until you’re crying.

Looking up, you try to will all of that thought and intent into your eyes, but Agnes’ are closed.

You whine.

Blue eyes regard you from beneath drooping lids. You will one thought into your mind and one thought only; use me.

Agnes swallows. The pad of a thumb runs under your eye, collecting some of the wetness there as if to say are you sure? In answer, you take as much of her as you can physically manage, eyes meeting her own the whole time.

Her restraint snaps.

Agnes’ hand travels to the back of your head, her hips moving faster and firmer than you can comprehend. She takes over completely; driving into you for what she needs, making you gag obscenely, without a thought in the world for if it is too much.

Not having to make choices allows you to focus on obtaining your own pleasure. With every tear she forces from your eyes, you swipe over the pulsating bud of your clit. You can feel your own orgasm building low in your gut.

“I’m going to cum.” Agnes groans.

Delight shoots through you. She’s going to cum and it’s because of you; because you were good and gave her everything she needs. It feels amazing.

Why, then, do you pull off and out of reach?

Agnes growls. You blink.

Words. There are words to go with the desire you feel. You close your eyes, searching for them, mentally scrambling at the edges until you can wrap your hands around them and their meaning.

“Can I…” You start, voice rough from the beating your throat has taken, “Can I ride you?”

Agnes makes quite the scene; splayed open on the dining room chair, hair a mess and eyes blown out, cock twitching and needy through the fly of the jeans she ruined only a few hours ago. You clench.

Agnes licks her lips, “Yeah, alright.”

You stand on shaking legs and Agnes holds up a hand, stopping you as she lifts her hips and fumbles in her back pocket. She obtains her wallet and rifles through until she locates a small foil wrapper.

It’s safer, you know. You’ve used one almost every other time for the duration of your marriage.

“Agnes.”

The woman in question pauses before opening the condom. Her brow pops up in an unspoken question.

The words are instinct, comprehensive thought still far away, “I want you to cum inside me.”

Outside, the world rages on. Westview residents race down the street, returning home from last minute errands, gifts in tow that they’ll have to sneak inside. The wind is kicking up and through the trees as snow grows closer with every second.

And then there is you and Agnes, tucked in the warmth of your home, caught in the weight of your words. Stopped in the face of the potential consequences.

Agnes throws the unopened condom on the kitchen table.

“Then come here.”

You stand with your legs on either side of her own, steadying yourself on her shoulders. One steady hand settles on your hip. The other pushes your panties aside and aligns her to your entrance as you lower into her lap.

You could take her in one motion with how wet you are. Yet, Agnes keeps your descent slow, careful. She watches your face with every inch you take—same as you watch hers.

Agnes’ chest is heaving, eyes dark and stormy, face pinched in concentration. She’s the most handsome person you’ve ever seen. You clench around her and her hands tighten on your waist.

“Sorry.” You murmur, out of habit.

Agnes raises a brow, but doesn’t respond, helping you down the last few inches. When you settle fully in her lap you let out the breath you’d been holding.

One hand sneaks under your skirt to trace shapes on the bare flesh of your hip.

“You pulled an interesting stunt with Vidal today.” Agnes says. The hand on your hip tightens, “I’m not so sure I should reward your behavior.”

“Then why let me…”

“Why deny myself just because you’re acting like a brat?”

There’s a small testing thrust of her hips. You clench. She groans, head falling back against the chair. You whimper. Trying to move your own hips, eager for what you’ve been denied, you find yourself held in place.

That’s not fair. All day she’s been teasing you, driving you to the edge of what you want—what you need, just to deny you.

“You started it.” You whine, trying to move your hips again, still finding yourself held stationary as she leisurely thrusts up, “You woke me up and got me all bothered, it’s not fair.”

“Life isn’t fair, baby.”

“Please.” You whine, “It’s not my fault, please.”

Muscles in her arms tremble as she lifts you slightly before sinking you back down onto her. The fullness makes your toes curl but it isn’t enough.

“Calling me at work and getting me worked up wasn’t your fault?”

“…No.”

Agnes laughs, “If you’re going to lie, you could at least be convincing.”

You won’t win this fight by playing fair, not when Agnes is clearly uninterested in fairness.

“You… You feel so good. Can’t think properly.” You breathe, moaning a bit more than comes naturally, “I’m so full of you.”

The thrust of her is uneven. She stops moving you completely and you fight down a grin.

You press a hand between your bodies, applying pressure to your lower stomach as she continues to thrust, subtly picking up speed. Her pants are growing louder, a wheeze leaving her mouth when you press.

“That’s you.” You murmur, leaning forward and ghosting over her lips, tracing the bridge of her nose with the tip of your own. You press harder and enjoy the way she groans, “Nobody has ever been as deep inside me as you.”

“Fuck.” She snarls.

You’re pushed up again, suddenly empty, and whine, blinking at the change. But then her strong hands are on your hips and spinning you around.

Your front is pressed against the table, bent so your cheek rests on the top of it. The texture of her jeans is rough against the back of your thighs as she lines herself and fills you in one thrust.

“Oh, fuck!” You cry.

Agnes sets a brutal pace, chasing that which only you can offer. Every thrust has her cock brushing that perfect spot inside you and you lose control of whatever sounds you’re making.

“Is this what you wanted?” Agnes snarls in your ear, “For me to leave work and fuck you like some bitch in heat?”

“Yes!”

“You haven’t earned it.”

“No, Agnes, please!”

“Hold it.” She orders.

With every move she makes, you do all you can to ignore the pleasure, to pretend it doesn’t exist. It’s somewhat possible when it’s only her cock. But then she leans down and starts toying with your clit and you cry out, fighting not to roll your hips against them.

You want what you’ve been chasing all day, but you still want to be good. You’re her good girl, aren’t you? You have to keep being good even if it hurts.

So, you hold your orgasm at bay, while Agnes chases her own. Judging by the uneven rhythm of her hips it won’t take long.

“Please let me come, Agnes. Please.” You beg.

“Why should I?”

“I’ll give you anything—anything! Please, my love!”

“Anything, huh?”

The tone of her voice is low, dangerous. Layered with a rasp that nearly undoes you.

If she doesn’t let up, it doesn’t matter how good you are; you’re going to cum.

“Anything!”

Agnes phone is slammed down on the table right beside your head. It isn’t on, but you have the sinking feeling that you’ve just landed yourself into something far worse than expected.

Her thrusts stop, but she keeps a light, teasing pressure that grazes your clit just enough to keep you engaged without getting you off.

It is torture. And the silence building as you stare down the upturned cell phone is only making it worse.

“I’m going to make a call and turn on the speaker. Then, I’m going to fuck you. And you’re going to let whoever is on the phone hear you as I make you cum.”

The weight of it is like a lead weight of nerves in your stomach, “But—“

“If you want to act like a whore you’re going to be treated like one.” She snarls, then her tone grows softer, “Yes or no, angel?”

Whoever she calls and puts on the line, you’ll never be able to look in the eye again. But you’re so full and eager that you don’t truly care at this point.

Besides, it’s Christmas Eve, maybe everyone will be too busy to pick up.

“Yes.”

A harsh thrust that forces the air from your lungs, then her lips are next to your ear, breath hot, “That’s my girl.”

The echo of your own words from earlier make your toes curl. Her phone is snatched from the table and she continues to toy with your clit as she makes the call.

It rings… and rings… and rings…

Faintly, you hear the line connect, and you gasp.

You can’t make out who the voice belongs to, but you hear a faint, “Yeah?”

Agnes barks down the line, “Don’t say a word.”

The bang! as her phone hits the table again makes you jump, a small shriek leaving your lips. It wobbles. Faintly, you’re impressed she hasn’t broken the thing with how she abuses it.

A long finger slams down on the speaker button and as the phone tilts slightly, you read the name on the screen, and your eyes widen.

Vidal.

Before you can say a word, though, Agnes is back to work. Something in the action of being heard has made her more aggressive. You swear you can feel the bruises forming on your hips where she grabs, leveraging you for every single thrust.

You try to choke down your moans and whimpers, not wanting Agent Vidal to hear you like this, but Agnes won’t stand for it; one hand grabs your jaw and pries your mouth open.

She pushes in to the hilt and you let out a shrieking moan.

“You were so talkative before. Have you lost your nerve?”

“I—please—“

“Calling me this morning and getting me worked up, teasing me in the office, in the kitchen… and incapable of handling your punishment.”

“I’m sorry, Agnes. Please.”

“Please, what?”

“Use me. I want—I need you to fuck me until I can’t remember being without you—I need you to fuck me until you cum inside and make me yours forever—please!”

The knowledge that every word from your mouth is being heard by someone else is not forgotten, but you’ve been pushed beyond caring. Agnes is intent on making you beg for what you want and you want it bad.

Agnes’ fingers and cock alternate stimulating you. If her fingers are working, her hips aren’t—and vice versa. You’re frankly astonished she’s been able to last so long because you’re teetering on the edge of pleasure at the barest contact.

But her will has always been steel. And she wants to see you humiliated.

The hand on your clit slides to your lower stomach and presses, mimicking your own actions only minutes before, “When I knock you up, you’re going to feel it right here.”

Something inside you snaps. You wail.

Agnes’ hips are moving at a clip, every inch of her rubbing where you need, setting you alight from within. Her hand doesn’t move. The faster she goes, the deeper she drives, her hips begin to lose their rhythm.

Any words devolve into animalistic grunts as she ruts into you, mouth alternating between kissing and biting at your neck from behind.

You’re so fucking close. If she denies you now, you think you might die.

“Let me cum, Agnes, please—pretty please—I’ll be your good girl, please, I’ll be so good. Let me cum and fill me up, it’s all I want—“

Through gritted teeth, “Go on then.”

Something inside you snaps.

The command is exactly what you need. Your entire body clenches so tight you fear you may never relax again. You lose track of what noises leave your mouth, you think you may even lose consciousness for a few moments.

All you know when you come to is that your throat is raw and Agnes is driving into you, choking out in your ear, “Gonna cum—“

Her hips meet your own at full force and don’t pull back, remaining, pulsing forward as if she can’t get close enough. Every spasm of her cock paints your insides with her desire, marking you as hers. Agnes holds your hips as she presses in with every twitch, struggling to breathe.

Weakly, you reach a hand back to tangle in her hair. Your throat aches, “That’s it, baby. Fill me.”

A groan. Another rough twitch.

It reaches a point where the pressure ebbs. She remains, but she’s not twitching anymore, nor is she fighting to become one with you. There’s only the sound of your breathing in the room.

Agnes moves to straighten and pull out, but you whine, reaching back to grab whatever part of her you can reach.

“Stay.” You whisper.

She pauses.

A hand gently caresses along your spine, “You can’t stay like this, angel.”

“Just let me feel you a little longer.”

There’s a comfort in the fullness; in the knowledge that Agnes is the only woman who can provide this for you. That she even wants to.

It’s all a blur beyond that.

Eventually, you can’t stand being bent over on the table anymore, even if you never want to be without the feeling of Agnes inside you. The call with Vidal is disconnected at some point. You and your wife move slowly, hand in hand, up to your bedroom.

You gently shove her onto the bed while grabbing damp washcloths. Neither of you can stand a shower at this point.

The two of you take your time, being careful to mind the sore spots. You lean slightly into Agnes as you wipe some of the sweat from her flesh.

“You’re so good to me.” You murmur, kissing the underside of her jaw, “Thank you, my love.”

“Consider it an early Christmas gift, angel.”

You tamp down on the urge to say something sappy for her to scoff at. Instead, you guide her down and kiss her, soft and slow.

[littlebearbun]

Ford Pines NSFW Alphabet

(Written for my best friend <3 I hope it makes you feel better)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Absolutely doting. Brings them a warm, wet rag to clean off, water, a fresh shirt, you name it. Very touchy, lives off the closeness and skin on skin contact. Asks a lot of questions about what they liked and what they didn't, if anything. Catalogues the marks he left. Sometimes draws them if they falls asleep.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part is mouth, I think. Knows what it's good for-talking and as a seat. (I do think he would grow to like his own hands after being with someone he loved)

His favorite body part of his partner is this one specific freckle/mole behind their knee. Oh, you wanted something like boobs/ass? Neither. The crux of their leg.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

His cum is a little more liquid than not. Comes a normal amount but it comes in waves. Whines through it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Thought about his partner sexually before their first time together and considers that a dirty secret for sure.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not very experienced. College took up a lot of his time, then he was paranoid as hell, then he was in alternate dimensions for 30 years. Did fuck around with aliens, partially for science and partially cause he was lonely.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary??? He's classic. That, or spooning, him behind them and lazily rocking against them. So much skin contact.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Definitely more serious, he's trying very hard and he needs to focus, dammit. Once he gets started it's hard to stop.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Takes very good care of himself, keeps it trim and neat. Has a happy trail and also grooms that.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Very romantic, I think, or tries to be. Sometimes he gets caught up in his head/too focused but most of the time he's very about his partner and he's so, so sweet.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Did in high school/college to see what the fuss was about. Did not when he was working on the portal. Rarely did when In between dimensions cause he wasn't often safe.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

If they wear his shirt. Or on the opposite end of the spectrum of tameness, making them come until they cry. Somnophilia, if they gave permission first. If he can't sleep it's a nice way to pass the time and feel close.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

In bed??? (Later they could convince him to do it in his study)

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Every touch is like electric to this man. Touch starved as hell. If they look in his general direction sometimes wonders why his pants got tight. It's a process.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He wouldn't want to hurt them at all. Would also not want to be restrained, triggers him to Weirdmageddon. Do not degrade him, he takes it too hard.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Preference to give for sure. Would stay down there for hours if they let him. Gets lost in it. He's greedy. Wants to see how many times he can get them to tremble for him. Tell him he's made for it and watch how red he turns.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He's half and half. Ideally he wants it slow so he can focus and commit it all to memory and slowly take them apart. Sometimes he just gets too caught up in it and then he's much faster.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He would much rather take his time. What's the point if he only gets to make them come once??

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Experiment, yes. He's definitely made an aphrodisiac/stimulating gel before. Has made an experiment about how many times he can physically get them to come (actually had to be begged to stop, he apologized with lots of kisses) Risky? No. Wants them safe and happy always

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He's so touch starved I think he comes pretty quick. Prefers lots of foreplay and for them to come at least twice before he gets his. Is a little embarrassed about it but makes up for it in spades.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Makes toys, but more for teasing than actual insertion. I mentioned the gel, but I could also see remote control vibrators or experimental stimulations.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He likes to think he can tease but he's too desperate for that. He can't tease for long before he wants more. Sometimes he breaks before his partner does.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

This man is loud. Whines a lot. Moans. Whimpers. He would try to talk through it and get cut off by his own sounds.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Listen I'm still on this-the mind reading helmet. Making them wear it and going down on them. In a less sexy note, is self conscious about all the scars and old tattoos. Lichtenberg scars are really sensitive, though. They can replace his self conscious thoughts with other ones. ;)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Hairy but well groomed. Has a little tummy. His arms are built but not as big as Stans-Ford is built more for dexterity and speed. His pecs make perfect pillows. Has “Flirty Girl” and “Hey now you're an all star” tattoos. Definitely had old Bill worship tattoos that he burned/scarred the eyes off of. Has Lichtenberg scars after Bill electrocuting him and has many scars from knives and bullets from his time in the portal.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Before he meets the love of his life, very low. (I headcanon Ford as Demi) After??? He can't get enough of the physical contact, though it's not always sexual. Just wants to be touching them. He yearns more for them sexually then he yearns for his own release.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Ford doesn't sleep very well anyway (cat naps or like, an hour or so increments) knows it's not healthy but he has nightmares and is not used to being safe when he sleeps. Anyway, after sex he stays up looking at his partner, memorizing every mark, freckle, mole, wrinkle, scar. He is very doting in aftercare and will absolutely cuddle. Draws them, like I mentioned. Sometimes reads in bed.

[marauroon]

More bestfriend!James w/ no boundaries i begggggg 😔🙏🙏🙏🙏

Like bro would so walk into the reader’s bathroom whilst you shower just bc he needs to pee and ends up just having a whole convo with her

‘B O N D I N G’ — JAMES POTTER!

james potter x fem!reader | fluff | 1.0k | masterlist!!

you’re convinced james has separation anxiety. the boy can’t even let you shower in peace.

an — it totally hasn’t been two months since i last posted… what??? nooo

“Can I come in?”

James’ voice, muffled both by the wooden door and his incessant knocking that joins his question, immediately destroys the tranquility of your shower.

“Heyyyyyy,” More heavy knocks. “I know you can hear me in there, let me in,”

“James,” Your voice is more a groan than spoken words. “Let me wallow in my self pity,”

“But I need to pee,” He drags out the end of his sentence like a petulant child, and you can hear a light thump against the door where he presumably lumps his weight against it. “Come onnn, I’m sorry you sucked and we beat you,”

“You rubbing it in is not helping your chances, James,”

A five a side friendlies game between two halves of the Gryffindor quidditch team? Nah. A chance for James and Sirius to prove how competitive they are by acting like it was a proper game and then absolutely battering your side? Sounds more like it.

“Pleaseee love, I’m gonna piss myself here,” He gives another loaded knock against the door. “And it’s my bathroom you’re invading, you can’t shut me out of it,”

He tries the doorknob, and it doesn’t open.

“Please say I can come in,”

“The door’s locked,”

“I know that,” You can practically hear him roll his eyes. “Can I unlock it?”

“Piss your heart away, cheater,”

There’s the sound of the door mechanism unlocking, then James discarding his wand on the bathroom countertop, his voice infinitely more clear.

“I didn’t cheat, you flew directly into me,”

You can’t see him behind the shower curtain, but if you had to guess you’d say he had that irritatingly self-gratifying smirk on his face.

“Because Sirius hit a bludger at my face,” You groan. “I could’ve died,”

James laughs harshly, joined by the sounds of his zipper being undone and a stream of pee hitting the toilet water. “Don’t be so dramatic, I caught you,”

“You pushed me,”

“Yeah, out of the way of danger,”

“Out of the pitch entirely you mean,”

“Oh please, you didn’t even get close to the stands,”

“Still, it was an unnecessary risk,” you retort, the frustration clear in your voice. “You guys take it way too seriously.”

James finishes up and flushes the toilet, laughing. “Alright, alright, maybe we went a bit overboard. But you have to admit, it was kind of fun.”

“Fun for you, maybe,” you grumble, rinsing the last of the shampoo from your hair. “I’m the one who almost got a concussion.”

James chuckles, the sound of him washing his hands mixing with the running water of your shower. “You’re exaggerating. Besides, you’re tougher than that.”

You roll your eyes even though he can’t see you. “Doesn’t mean I enjoy getting knocked around like a ragdoll.”

“Fair point,” he concedes. “Next time, I’ll make sure Sirius aims for someone else.”

You snort, reaching for the conditioner. “How generous of you.”

“Hey, what are best friends for?” he replies cheekily.

“Best friends don’t usually barge in while you’re showering,” you point out with a sigh, running the conditioner through your hair.

“Yeah, well, I’m not just a best friend,” he says, his tone light and teasing. You can practically hear the grin in his voice. “I’m like the best friend,”

“And so humble too,” You roll your eyes with sarcasm dripping from your tone.

James chuckles, unfazed. “You love it.”

“Debatable,” you mutter, but there’s a small smile on your face now. Despite everything, you can’t stay mad at him for long.

“Admit it, you’d miss me if I wasn’t around to annoy you,” he says, leaning against the bathroom sink.

You rinse the conditioner from your hair, contemplating his words. “Maybe a little,” you concede, though it's clear from your tone that you’re not entirely serious.

“Only a little?” James feigns hurt, placing a hand dramatically over his heart. “I’m wounded, truly.”

“Stop being so dramatic,” you laugh, turning off the shower. “Hand me a towel, will you?”

James obliges, passing you a towel over the shower curtain. “At your service, princess.”

“Thanks,” you say, wrapping the towel around yourself. “Have you put your dick away?”

“Yes, milady,” he says with a mock bow. “All tucked in and ready to go.”

You step out of the shower, rolling your eyes at his antics. “Good, I don’t need any more jumpscares today,”

James laughs, grabbing his wand from the countertop. "My dick happens to be quite the attraction I’ll have you know," he says with a wink.

"Yeah, well, I’m sure it has its fan club,” you shoot back, drying yourself off.

“Only the most exclusive members,” he says, flashing you a cheeky grin. “Now, how about we grab some lunch? My treat.”

You raise an eyebrow, intrigued. “What’s the occasion? Feeling guilty for almost killing me?”

James laughs, shaking his head. “Nah, just thought we could use some bonding time. Plus, I know you’re always hungry after a good match.”

You can’t help but smile at his thoughtfulness, even if it’s wrapped in his usual playful banter. “Alright, you’ve convinced me. Let me just get dressed.”

“Take your time, love,” he says, leaning against the doorframe. “I’ll be waiting in the common room.”

[cheezeybread]

Hello! i do have a request headcannons with the housewardens with g/n reader who is very physical affection, yet they are also very smart on academics. They also loves to take a notes during a lessons so imagine they saw reader who writes a lot that definitely until a whole paragraf (even worse if they ran out of the paper or books, they can be write until the table)

I hope you like the idea if you can't you can ignore it, and i'm sorry for the bad grammar, have a good day! (⌒∇⌒)ノ"

Will do! You have a good day, too! :D

𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙣𝙚𝙪𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙡 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙞𝙨 𝙥𝙝𝙮𝙨𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙖𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖 𝙨𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙮-𝙥𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨

𝐅𝐭: 𝐑𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞, 𝐋𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐚, 𝐀𝐳𝐮𝐥, 𝐊𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐦, 𝐕𝐢𝐥, 𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐮𝐬, 𝐈𝐝𝐢𝐚

No, this is not proof-read, I'm lazy, sorry TwT

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐋𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒

Oh my goodness, you show him physical affection AND you're studious despite not having any magic to practice on in class? He's so in love it's crazy

He finds it very admirable how you pour your heart and soul into the technical aspects of class...which only serves to make Grim look worse in his eyes (I mean, the little Direbeast is your magic-half and he doesn't even pull his own weight! Grim is single-handedly dropping your grades down with every magical assignment)

Anytime there's a group assignment, you bet your bottom dollar that Riddle's going to convince the teacher to make the two of you partners! You both pull your own weight in the task and always manage to get the highest grades on projects! Plus, he enjoys spending class with you

Although he's not exactly the best with physical affection (words of affirmation are more his own love language because of his STUPID MOM-), he does his best to reciprocate, albeit somewhat awkwardly.

Expect some hand-holding from him in public, because that's all he can work himself up to do, PDA-wise. In class, though, he's more prone to absentmindedly touching you. Hand-holding, for sure, or maybe just resting a hand on your side, nudging you with his elbow to see what sort of notes you're writing down. His attention in class is split between the teacher and you, a fair 50/50

But sometimes it leans more towards 40/60 when you squeeze his hand affectionately.

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

𝐋𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐀 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐑

A big cat at heart (and physically, lol), Leona's a bit iffy with the physical affection. It mainly depends on the mood you catch him in.

If he's in a particularly gracious mood, he'll allow the physical contact and even give some back, preferring to wrap an arm around you or rest his head on your shoulder

If he's in one of his leave-me-alone kitty phases, he'll allow the touch, of course, but he might be a little less prone to give you any in return. But he'll never say no to you if you want to show him your own way of love

Because of Ruggie, you're now his un-official tutor! I mean, you are his partner, so you might as well help him learn some stuff with all the time you spend around each other, right?

Pretty much how the tutoring sessions go: *y/n, opening their notebook for a class, preparing to read to Leona since he missed that day's lesson* Leona: Wtf y/n: What? Leona: Why do you have so many notes for just one lesson? y/n: Oh, this isn't all of them, actually. Leona:....Why does it say 'Page 1 out of 32'.

Whether he likes it or not, he's gonna learn something from those notes of yours!

Of course, when he does come to class, his attention is always on you throughout the entire lesson.

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

𝐀𝐙𝐔𝐋 𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐎

You're actually his soulmate, he's convinced.

Physical affection? Poor little guy needs all he can get! It helps assure him that 1) You don't find him absolutely repulsive, and 2) That you like him! He's the sort where if you don't give him a kiss upon first seeing him, he'll spiral into a "omg they hate my guts and want me to die now" mindset. Poor fella.

During any lessons the two of you have together, he's found that since you have the better notes out of the two of them, he can look over yours and add to his notes. So expect him to ask to borrow your notebooks after every single class. Or maybe he'll just forgo writing his own notes and copy yours entirely, hm? Nah, he couldn't bring himself to do such a thing-

This man is clingy af

He's always got a hand on you in some way, shape, or form, and always, always finds a way to touch you in passing. Your hanging out with him in the Mostro Lounge? He's leaning up against you, legs crossed. You two are out walking? Arm around your waist. In class? He's got his ankle hooked around yours.

Expect him to constantly ask you if what he's doing is alright or not. He's not well-versed in the relationship-styles of humans, and he knows that merfolk can come off a bit...too much. So he figures that it's better safe than sorry!

He's also totally going to ask you to read over any contracts that he drafts up, asking if you can find any loopholes written in the fine print or not. A second pair of eyes helps out more often than he'd like to admit!

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

𝐊𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐌 𝐀𝐋-𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐌

FINALLY, someone on his level of affection!

PDA? Hell yeah!

Always touching, always hugging, and he gives zero regards to who might be looking when he gives you a lil smooch!

"Oh, yn, you took notes today? You always do, you're such a good student! Can you come back to Scarabia with me and help me out with my classwork? Jamil is busy, and I really want to get better so I can beat him fair and square!" :D

Of course, whenever you go over to help him study, or just to review notes, it ends up in a cuddle-fest.

Are you complaining? You better not!

Every time there's an option to pick partners, you'd best believe he's picking you! Even if somehow he doesn't end up being your partner, he'll congratulate the person who is, telling them how nice and kind you are, and how smart, too!

The world doesn't deserve Kalim, fr fr

But you sure do!

And he'll make sure that you know how much you mean to him, whether it's by an ungodly amount of gifts, compliments to make you all flustered, or even just insisting on hanging around you 24/7!

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

𝐕𝐈𝐋 𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐄𝐍𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐓

Due to his own preoccupation with his looks and such, Vil unfortunately misses some parts of lessons. He'll pull out a small mirror to double-check if his eyeliner is smudged, and bam! Suddenly the teacher is onto the next subject.

Not to worry, though, because he has you!

With a bat of his eyelashes and a few small kisses on the back of your hands, he can convince you to show him your prized notes (of course, you'd be more than willing to give them to him with just a please, but you quite like the effort he puts into it)

In return for you re-reading your notes to him out loud, he'll fidget with your appearance, or simply caress the back of your hands

You two are working in the courtyard? He's running a hand through your hair, braiding it if it's long enough. You're in his dorm reading? He's painting your nails. You're in the library? He's running a hand up and down your arm.

He's more into the low-key physical affection out in public, but who's to say he won't openly kiss you if someone starts trying to hit on you? Or maybe he just feels like a bit of PDA is deserved after all your hard works! Who can tell with that guy!

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

𝐈𝐃𝐈𝐀 𝐒𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐃

Definitely one to gift you with custom-made notebooks.

It started with him watching as you tried to make your handwriting smaller, attempting to fit your last notes onto the veeeeery last page in your journal.

When he got back to his room, Idia found some basic journals that he never got around to using, and he puts stickers on them, quotes, any and everything he thinks that you'd like. It's a sloppy mess, since arts and crafts isn't his strong suit, but it's handmade!

Eventually, though, he'll get frustrated with making the notebooks, and he'll just make some piece of technology that prints spoken words onto a notebook for you, so you don't have to have an aching wrist from writing so much.

God love him, he's trying, A for effort.

On the side of affection, though...he's still getting used to it. If you do ANYTHING in public, he's going to turn into an absolute mess and get all flustered. It's especially bad in class. You accidentally brush your hand up against his and he gives a shriek in response, slamming his head on the table in embarrassment and asking to leave

In private, he's still liable to get flustered, but if you assure him constantly that he's fine, he'll eventually settle down...eventually.

He's determined to get better at physical affection for you, so he's definitely trying...just give him a little bit, and he'll come around.

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐔𝐒 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐀

This is just normal human behavior, is it not?

Most definitely, though, he finds it refreshing to have someone at the school who doesn't fear him and treats him like an equal (although who's to say that there isn't a mutual worshiping going on between the two of you?)

Since you are the Prefect of the Ramshackle Dorm, you are required to attend the Housewarden meetings! On the occasions that Malleus is unreachable and unfindable, you take it upon yourself to write down the notes of the meeting, nearly word-for-word of what transpired. Later on, you'll hunt down Malleus and give him the notes, which in turn you'll receive a kiss as a thank-you.

He truly does appreciate you, in every way, shape, and form. Just so ya know ;)

He'll find old journals around the Diasomnia dorm (either journals that Lilia has and never used, or just ones that were bought for dorm use), and he'll give them to you, seeing as how you make the most use out of them!

And by gosh, these journals are gorgeous! They're rugged and antique-looking, leatherbound, and some of them even have an ancient design burned into the cover. It almost makes you sad to use them, but Malleus is overjoyed when he sees you writing down notes or anything in one of them

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[mongeroffanfics]

Zagreus SFW and NSFW alphabets ♥️, for my friend @ember1224

≿———————— ❈ ————————≾

SFW alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Zagreus is extremely affectionate to his friends, as we see in the game, he offers you as much nectar as you’ll accept, and once you stop accepting nectar he’s giving you Ambrosia until you demand he stops.

Zagreus also shows his affection by standing close to you, or having a hand on your shoulder as you walk together.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Oh if you’re his best friend you’re going to get so much gossip.

He will tell you anything and everything- Achilles and Patroclus have a small argument? You know every detail before even Hermes does. Charon was caught being affectionate to Hermes? You’re helping him spread the news across the house.

You’d undoubtably meet him by being a servant to the house, someone he’s known for a long time and already has a small bond with.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Zagreus adores cuddling, he cuddles by literally yanking you into his lap, putting his head on your shoulder while he yaps about his day/night. He’s so giddy about it, arms loosely around you as he holds a new book of legends and myths that he’s had edited and he’s reading it to you.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Zagreus is absolutely down to settle down with a partner, the only bad part is he’s very uh… well he has no culinary skills and his ‘cleaning’ is mostly shoving clothes under his bed and into whatever crevices he can find.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Zagreus would definitely be far more polite than most when it comes to breaking up. He’d probably bring you into his room and apologize, comforting that it wasn’t your fault but he’s just no longer interested in you. He’d still be down to be best friends, but if you didn’t want to be he’d understand completely.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Zagreus, as we all know, is impulsive as FUCK. He’d be down to get married if you even show a little attraction back to him. He will commit if he thinks you’ll commit.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s uh.. he’s a little dense, but that’s ok. He’s not the most emotionally gentle guy out there, I mean, have you seen how his dad deals with everything?

Nonetheless, he’s very physically gentle, he knows his own strength very well and he (somewhat) knows when to use it.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Zagreus adores hugs, he will yank you into a bone crushing (not literally) hug every time he sees you, grinning like an idiot.

Zagreus will hug you every time he sees you, even if he only saw you a few minutes ago, you will not escape the hugs from the Prince of the underworld.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He says “I love you” very quickly, right as he confesses, actually. Every morning he will wake you up with praises, kisses all along your shoulder and neck, and him mumbling “I love you” against your skin.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Zagreus will only get jealous if you’re getting ‘too’ close with someone he knows, then he’ll basically turn into a ‘big scary dog’ and hover over your shoulder pouting.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Zagreus’ kisses are soft, but quick, usually on your forehead before he goes off on a run and literally jumps out his window.

He loves when you kiss the palms of his hands, just adoring the scars on them.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Please don’t let him around kids, he doesn’t know what to do. The way his dad treated him is his ONLY reference- he will hand them Stygious and try to teach them how to use it if he’s unsupervised.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings are spent in bed- he will not get up. Good luck leaving his bed if you’re there, he’s holding you hostage until his dad comes in there and shouts at him to get up because he’s late for his duties.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights are spent cuddled up against each other, him somewhat flopped on you as he reads the Iliad (one of his favorite stories as it’s about Achilles) to you until you both fall asleep and the book falls to the ground.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Zagreus won’t be super quick to reveal things about himself, but every time he talks he mentions some little thing about himself. He honestly focused more on trying to understand you, rather than trying to vent about himself and all of his trauma.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Zagreus has decent patience, but if you do something royally idiotic you’re getting an annoyed interrogation from Zagreus. I think the only way to truly piss him off would be to hurt someone dear to him or break something important.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers random details about you, whatever his brain considers interesting. He remembers your important details along with when you first became friends, to the last time he saw you interacting with a random shade. But he won’t remember your birthday- for some strange reason.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite moment is when he first gave you ambrosia, how you put your hands over your mouth and stared in shock at the bottle he was handing you. You were so, so flattered and shocked that Zagreus cared enough to give it to you.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Zagreus is extremely protective of his friends, and he’d absolutely protect you against everything he could. He’d do the same with all of his friends- and he’d honestly laugh if you tried protecting him back. He understands that you care about him, but believe me, he’s far stronger than you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

As much effort as he can possibly use, he’s going to Elysium, beating Theseus’ ass into the ground, and bringing you back some fine ambrosia for you to drink in celebration- and if you like fish then he’s beating the shit out of his dad and bringing back a fish from Greece.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He has a bad habit of just yoinking some of your gold. He’s gotten so used to sparring with Charon after stealing from him, that hes started unconsciously pick pocketing stray coins whenever he sees them.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not at all concerned- he’s already the underworlds biggest nuisance and the biggest pain in his dad’s ass. Any worries about his appearance is long gone.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

I think Zagreus would definitely feel lonely without you, I mean he knows plenty of shades, but each of them takes up space in his heart. He’d definitely feel a part of him missing, and would undoubtably search for you.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Zagreus has a diary with little notes on everyone he’s met, usually it has things that they like and little interesting facts about them written down so he knows what to get them.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn’t like someone who lies for no reason- it just tells him you can’t be trusted with anything. He can tell a lie immediately, and will probably tell you not to lie to him because he likes to trust his friends, but if you keep doing it he will cut you off completely.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Insomniac king- he almost never sleeps, but when he does it’s the heaviest sleep ever and he will sleep for a day and a half if he’s not woken up. You’ll find him curled up in his blankets, face down in his pillows and chances are he still has his clothes on.

NSFW alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Zagreus is so sweet after sex, giving you sips of nectar as he bathes you, gently massaging your sore muscles. He’s a gentleman, albeit a somewhat clueless one. He takes care of you and even tucks you snuggle into his bed before he dares to care for himself.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Zagreus’ favorite part of himself is his hands- they’re strong and durable, after all. He uses them to hold you close as he fucks you, or even to gently tug your hair. He will absolutely melt if you kiss along his callouses and compliment the scars on his palms.

His favorite part of you? That has to be your lips, he loves how they trail along his scars, or leave gentle marks along his immortal skin. He also loves feeling your soft lips against his own, it’s almost enough to make him moan.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Zagreus’ loves cumming down your throat, feeling your throat constricting around his cock and milking all of the cum out of it. Breathless praises would leave his mouth as he loosely holds you there.

His second favorite place to cum is between your thighs, not necessarily in your pussy (if you’re female) or in your ass (if you’re either gender), but he likes seeing the white liquid staining them and slowly dripping down onto the bed/couch.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I can’t really see Zagreys having a dirty secret, if I’m being honest :P

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Zagreus is not the most experienced man in the world, considering how I think he’s only ever been with Meg, but that taught him a lot. He… well he somewhat knows what he’s doing, but he’s a quick learner and can improvise on the spot.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

His favorite position is the lotus position, with him slightly reclining back in a chair in his room , arms around your waist, your legs and arms wrapped around him as he gently fucks into you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Zagreus is not the most serious person in the world- I mean he won’t just be a complete dumbass during sex, but he is absolutely not stoic and serious during sex. He’s definitely the kind of guy to lightly joke around during sex.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Zagreus is not well groomed, at least not until after you get together. He has some thick hair down there, but he’s drummed it down quite a bit. The hair along his crotch is dark, like his hair, and slightly curly.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Zagreus is so sweet, generally he has one hand cupping your jaw, making your eyes stay on his own as he praises you and asks if you’re alright. He is the definition of attentive, even the slightest show of discomfort and he will stop to check on you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Zagreus doesn’t really give himself the time to jack off, but if he’s been on a particularly long run, once he’s cleared a room he’ll start jacking himself off to hold himself over until you can be in his arms again.

All in all, Zagreus doesn’t masturbate often, but if he gets impatient for you he will.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Zagreus has a mirror kink, he loves holding you close while he glances into a mirror across from him, watching himself fuck you, watching your face if you’re turned away from him, or just eyeing all the marks his nails have left across your back and sides.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Zagreus will only do it in his room- he loves you, he really does- but he’s not going to fuck you anywhere but his room. It’s completely out of his comfort zone to have sex outside of his room.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He gets turned on by the simplest things, you could be brushing his hair and say some simple compliment and he’d have a hard on, if anything the sweeter the compliment or comment is, the more horny he gets.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He will not share, he will not hurt you and he absolutely won’t do it anywhere but his room. Zagreus has boundaries and if you push them, or try to push them, he’d be turned off pretty quickly.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Zagreus loves receiving Oral, he will do almost anything for a quick blowjob from you, but if you want oral you’ll have to guide him through it. He’s a quick learner, and honestly adores the taste of you- and might (will) become addicted.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Zagreus lets you control the pace most days, if you want it fast and rough he’s holding you close and fucking you until your throats gone raw from moaning.

If you want it slow and sensual, he’s going to murmur how much he loves you into your ear and slowly roll his hips against your own.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

The quickie king, always willing to give you a quick fuck before going on another run, always making sure to at least clean you up before leaving.

Quickies happen at least four times a week, if not more.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Zagreus needs quite a bit of convincing to take risks during sex, as he’s very content to just coddle your smaller frame as he fucks you. Needles to say if you do risk something and he doesn’t like it, risks are off the table for a while.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Zagreus is a god, he could last for days if he tried hard enough, he can last for a decent amount of time each round. On average he’ll go for two or three rounds, just so you stay conscious and thinking while he fucks you.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Zagreus owns a few dildos and plugs, all gifts from his uncles (he will never use them, he does not trust them), but they’re locked away in a safe and you will have to let him watch you boil them for literal days before he willingly uses them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Zagreus will be in a teasing mood about half the time, playfully slowing down whenever you’re on the brink- or just stopping and going on a run to make sure you’re ready for him later.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Zagreus is not exactly loud, but he’s very vocal. Hes grunting in your ear, gasping whenever he’s about to cum and if you’re lucky, he might start whimpering in your ear.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Zagreus is honestly embarrassed about any mention of you being his mate, or any conversation about sex. He does not want to talk to his dad or uncles about his sex life and he would love if they stopped asking about it.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Zagreus is almost seven inches long, and slightly tapered towards his tip. His cock is almost a pale orangish red at the tip, giving off a little heat. Hes about two inches wide.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He has a very high sex drive, willing to go whenever you are. He always craves your body against your own, wanting nothing more than to have you in his arms and your body pressed against his own.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He takes at least two hours to fall asleep, just because he wants to take care of you and make sure you’re perfectly taken care of before he even thinks about cleaning himself up to go to bed.

Im gonna be honest i got really tired like halfway through the NSFW half, but i really enjoyed making this :)

Hades is up next

[anastasia12]

konig nsfw alphabet

This is mostly gender neutral and includes stuff for both afab and amab readers

A = Aftercare

(what they’re like after sex)

"Ach du heilige... Schatz, geht's dir eh gut?"¹

Very worried.

No matter if he's been top or bottom, dom or sub, gentle or rough, he'll be so worried he hurt you in any way.

Give you a quick massage and clean you up. Depending on if you're doing anything after, he'll either take a bath with you or just a brief shower.

B = Body part

(their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He really likes his arms, mans trained years for his muscles to be as defined as they are and being able to carry you with them just gives him a real boost of confidence.

Is weak to your thighs <3 Could spend hours just laying on or massaging them.

C = Cum

(anything to do with cum, basically)

Yum yum in his tum tum😋🍽️

No matter how he made you cum, mans will absolutely devour that shit, no exceptions.

D = Dirty secret

(pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

AFAB: Would love for you to sit on his face while his mask is on, just imagining feeling you through the fabric and how you soak through it makes him hard

AMAB: sucking you off with the mask on, half the fabric draped over your stomach, hiding his next move and having to look directly into his eyes. He gets weak in the knees at the thought.

E = Experience

(how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Man had zero rizz in his childhood, you're his first everything actually. If you don't have any experience either, you're kinda fucked lmao

F = Favorite position

(this goes without saying)

Any with direct eye contact, or you being on top of him.

G = Goofy

(are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's funny, but not intentionally. He's really creative when it comes to swears, so it's easy to make you giggle with them.

H = Hair

(how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Bald or something, I don't know how this works with men and I am NOT about to Google it.

I = Intimacy

(how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

König is dropping all the nicknames he can think off, constantly caressing your face or body. He'll also try to set the mood as best as possible beforehand.

J = Jack off

(masturbation headcanon)

Does it a lot tbh. He's big big and knows it can affect you for a few days after, so he'll only fuck you if you ask.

K = Kink

(one or more of their kinks)

Mask kink, size kink, praise kink goings both ways. What else is there? Oh yeah.

This man definitely has a mommy kink, you cannot convince me otherwise.

L = Location

(favorite places to do the do)

Probably the couch or the bathtub, he isn't into other people potentially seeing you at all.

M = Motivation

(what turns them on, gets them going)

You. That's it. You could be wearing a hoodie that should've been washed long ago and he'd go "omg I'd hit"

N = No

(something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything to do with degredation. Doesn't like insulting you and likes being insulted even less.

O = Oral

(preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

König would willingly be between your thighs until his lungs give out. He's really big, so this is the best option in his opinion. (also just really into the way you react to him and your taste).

Would only let you suck him off occasionally and after a loooonnggg while of being in a relationship. You'd have to beg him to do it lmao

P = Pace

(are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

König likes being slow and hitting all the right spots, but he can speed up if you ask politely enough. Much prefers to go slow in a borderline teasing way tbh.

Q = Quickie

(their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Prefers taking his time, but with how packed your schedules can be, there's not really another option. Sometimes when you're on a long term mission, you get so desperate you have a quickie, but that's the last resort.

R = Risk

(are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Yes and no. He'd like to experiment with you a bit, but there are just some things he wouldn't do like public sex, non-con, etc...

S = Stamina

(how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

König lasts for HOURS. This is a trained military man, his stamina is through the roof and on its way to space. You could be panting, struggling to catch your breath or move, and he'll ask if you want another round.

T = Toys

(do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Didn't see the sense in toys before meeting you, but he has a small bullet vibrator for you stashed away somewhere.

U = Unfair

(how much they like to tease)

When he gets the opportunity, he does like to tease a little. Would stop if you ask though.

V = Volume

(how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Swears a lot. Like a lot a lot. He's still more vocal than you'd expect otherwise. Lots of grunts and moans between the swears.

W = Wild card

(a random headcanon for the character)

You wore thigh highs once and he can't get enough of them now. He tends to rip them, but is constantly buying new ones to make up for it.

X = X-ray

(let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Big. Too big, perhaps. Long and girthy. Have fun getting that anywhere in you.

Y = Yearning

(how high is their sex drive?)

Very high, is down to clown almost every single day. And with that I mean he just wants to make you scream his name so loud the squad members become concerned he's holding you hostage.

Z = Zzz

(how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Honesty, he's more awake after than he was before. Makes him feel like he just injected five shots of espresso right into his veins.

¹ "Holy... Treasure, are you okay?"

mamas for you

[fanged-fanfics]

hii!! could you possibly do mystic monkey (or unspecified species) reader (gender neutral OR fem) x chubby sun wukong? reader is already close with sun wukong, is very much a fan of being touchy with him and absolutely loves the dad bod. SO sorry if this is oddly specific

🧡👑 A King's Form — Wukong x Mystic Monkey!GN Reader Drabble 👑🧡

Genre: Fluff || they/them pronouns for reader || No warnings needed

A/N: This takes place around the end of S4 at the beach ep cause that's where we saw his stomach for the first time :D

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁⋆˚｡⋆୨👑୧⋆˚｡⋆✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖

At the end of a successful mission to save the world, you were able to relax on a beach trip with Wukong and the rest of the Monkey Crew. Unlike a certain dark furred simian, you had actually been invited to join along in the wind down day. The sun was bright, the winds were warm, and you were positioned in the beach chair right beside the King himself.

As you fiddled with your sunglasses, you saw movement in your peripheral vision. Wukong's tail was extended towards you, offering up a colorful tropical drink, as he regarded you with a wide grin. You smiled back, accepting the drink with your own tail. "Having fun, bud?" The Sage asked you as you took a sip. "As much as I can" you replied with a little snort "It's so hot out here. I wouldn't be surprised if it somehow sunburns through my fur" you joked.

To your surprise, you felt shade over you soon after. Wukong had pulled up his umbrella from the sand, placing it between you two instead. He tilted it a bit to make sure you were both covered. "There! Much better, huh?" He asked brightly. You shifted your chair closer to his "Yeah, thanks Wu". Wukong folded his hands behind his head, tilting it towards the sky to breathe in a huff of the fresh air.

As he did so, you could see a clear view of his stomach, especially due to his shirt being left unbuttoned. You had mostly ever seen him in his armor, even with all your years of companionship. He seemed to feel your gaze lingering under his torso, and he shifted in his seat as a result. "Ah, uh... haven't really been hitting the stone gym as much these days" he joked, a small and awkward chuckle following "Not really a hero's physique". You shook your head, sitting up a little "It's nothing to be ashamed of, Wu" you reassured "The whole point of being a hero is anyone can do it, right? Even a destructive self-proclaimed Sage" you teased. Wukong snorted a bit. "Thanks, bud, but still-"

"I'm serious," You added in gently. You scooted in more, to where your chairs were pressed as close as they could be "There's nothing wrong with how you look, Wukong. You're still the scourge of heaven and hero to Megapolis no matter what". As you spoke, you gently intertwined your tail with his, which he nervously reciprocated with a small chuckle. "Alright, I get it" he said lightheartedly. "Besides," You added, leaning in to rest your head on his shoulder the best you could, "I think it's attractive "

"Re-wuh-really?" Wukong asked, stammering a little. "Mhm" you hummed in confirmation "I love how it looks on you. Haven't you been keeping up with the mortals? 'Dad bods' are a very 'in' look right now". "Hah, but uh- do you- really not mind it?" Wukong asked tentatively. You hummed the affirmative, nuzzling into his arm. "Especially this here," You said, tracing the heart pattern on his chest with your claw. His breath hitched a bit, cheeks flushing warm at the contact. His tail swatted nervously as it stayed wrapped up with yours. "Oh yeah-!" He began, voice cracking from how flustered he got "Just one of the, uh- g-great things about me! Pssh, there's a lot of that, y'know!"

"You okay?" You asked, a bit of a knowing smirk on your lips "You seem kinda flushed". "Just the sun" Wukong replied, taking off his hat and waving it in front of his face to get some air "Man this umbrella really isn't doing much, want a popsicle?" He said quickly to divert the topic. He pulled out a popsicle shaped like an apple, holding it out to you with a crooked grin. You chuckled, accepting the treat "Thanks!". You sat back in your chair, absentmindedly gnawing on the cool snack as Wukong ate his own peach one. You looked out the corner of your eye, seeing how nervous he still was.

"I mean it, you know" you began softly, and Wukong looked at you curiously "hm?". "You really do look great" you said, smiling gently. Wukong returned the look. "If you like it that much, maybe I should wear an open shirt more often" he joked. He was surprised when he felt your tail sway excitedly against his "I mean, I wouldn't be against it" you said, attempting to keep it cool. Wukong smiled a little wider "I'll keep that in mind then"

[bumpkinbayouthief]

🂱 › NSFW alphabet : Remy LeBeau .

warnings : nsfw / 18+ a/n : tried my best to keep it as gn!reader as possible so everyone can enjoy, i had so much fun writing this ngl, hope you enjoy!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex):

Remy is pretty good when it comes to aftercare. if he was the one toping then he is attentive, makes sure to clean you up, kiss the marks he left on your skin, get you water and a snack, and of course, endless amounts of cuddles

now if he was the bottom during your session of fun then he prefers to be the one being attended to though he will naturally want to check on you and make sure you are taken care of too

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s):

ass and thighs, Remy is absolutely an ass man and your thighs, oh he loves to be buried in them and hold onto them as he is going down on you

on himself, he doesn't have a favorite, but he does like the way you love his eyes. he spent most of his life either hating them and eventually becoming indifferent, but you adore them and because of it he finds himself liking how they look in the mirror

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically):

he loves to be messy and cover you with his cum like the little shit he is, unless you aren't into that then he keeps to just releasing inside of you

his favorite thing is to taste yours, bringing his covered fingers to his mouth and sucking it off while he stares at you with those red eyes of his

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs):

he doesn't really have any dirty secrets, after all he tells you every filthy thought he has

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?):

Remy is an experienced lover, he's tried a variety of things and had plenty of partners so its easy to say that he knows what he is doing in the bedroom department

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying):

he likes to see your face while he is driving into you, so anything from missionary to have you riding him. the little noises and faces you make drive him wild

but he also loves a good doggy style session where he can slap your ass and watch you grip the sheets while he thrusts into you

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.):

he definitely leans toward the goofy side, after all, if you can't laugh while completely sunk into your lover then you aren't doing it right is his mindset

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.):

Remy keeps himself clean shaven down there, his light brown happy trail leading down his stomach

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect):

whether it is a quick and fast session or a gentle night long ordeal, he can be quite intimate during the act

he loves the foreplay part, taking his sweet time getting you ready from lighting the room in warm candlelight glow to kissing every square inch of you as he pulls of your clothes and tosses them onto the floor

even during the act, he is constantly making sure you are not uncomfortable and enjoying yourself

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon):

Remy is no stranger to jacking off, especially when he's got you around constantly turning him on

he has definitely had moments where he has had to sneak away to the bathroom to rub one out after seeing you pass by in something as simple as a tshirt and denim shorts

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks):

he can be quite a kinky guy, never one to say no to trying anything at least once

he likes bondage, being tied up and at your mercy excites him, not to mention having it the other way around if your comfortable with it.

another is you wearing his clothes, he often has thought about fucking you while you wear nothing but his trench coat

on top of that he definitely has an exhibitionism kink, loving the thrill of doing it somewhere someone could easily walk in on you two if they wanted

L = Location (favorite places to do the do):

tying into his exhibitionism tendencies, he is down to do it anywhere, from his car in an empty parking lot to a random closet in the mansion, he will do it anywhere with you

his favorite place though is probably the comfort of your room or even your tub/shower where he can ravish you for hours without any interruptions

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going):

you, quite literally just you. you turn him on pretty easily and in a moments notice he is ready to go

narrowed down its probably your kisses that get him started, especially when you kiss his earlobe and whisper in his ear filthy words or place a teasing peck to the side of his neck

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs):

he doesn't have many no's but one is knife or blood play, he just can't stand the thought of hurting you the same also goes with breath play, he isn't a fan of it

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.):

he prefers to give but isn't opposed to receiving

he goes down on you like it is his favorite and last meal, gripping onto your thighs as you pull his hair each time he quickens his pace. he'll bring you to an orgasm and raise his head with the biggest devilish grin, absolutely covered in you

when he's receiving he loves to watch you do your thing, his hand resting on the back of your head, fingers tangled in your hair, bucking his hips every so often

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.):

his pace entirely depends on the situation, he can be fast and rough when he wants to be but typically he likes to take in slow and sensual, taking his sweet time and dragging it out as long as he can, going for a new record each time

when he's on a time crunch he has no qualms about bending you over the closest surface and pounding into you, hands gripping onto your hips

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.):

Remy loves a good quickie, down to pull you into nearby closet when you both have gotten handsy with each other.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.):

he is more than willing to try new things with you, making sure to always establish a safe word or system so that you both enjoy it

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?):

he's got pretty good stamina, comes with the training he keeps up. he can go multiple rounds, all of them lasting longer than the last as he fucks you throughout the day or night

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?):

he doesn't have many toys for himself other than a few cock rings he likes to slip on when he is jerking off

but he has plenty for you and is more than happy to use them on you whenever you ask, from vibrators to plugs, cuffs and rope, even a few blindfolds

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease):

Remy is the biggest tease, loving to bring you so close to the edge and right as you are about to reach your sweet release he pulls away, leaving you a whining and crying mess

but oh, how he hates when you do it to him, though it's not like his dislike for his hard no's, but he will sure be a whiny brat the second you start to tease him

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.):

oh he is loud. he makes all sorts of sounds during sex, from loud moans to whines that makes you melt with each one that leaves his pretty mouth

and his dirty talk in unbelievable with some cajun french so easily strung in there, his lips close to your ear

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character):

his go to safe word is pineapple and it made you giggle when he told you that the first time

he also loves when he kisses you after you’ve gone down on him and he can taste himself on your lips

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes):

he's a good size, not one to have a dick measuring contest or really pay attention to that sort of thing. he's just occupied with making sure you enjoy it

a good 6-7 inches with a nice girth that stretches you in the best way possible whenever he is inside and he knows how to use every inch

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?):

Remy has a pretty decent sex drive, not super high he can show some restraint, but if you say jump, he will definitely ask how high.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards):

he'll always make sure you get taken care of and are settled before cuddling and after that he will fall asleep pretty easily, though he tries his best to stay up till you fall asleep

it doesn't always work out that way though

love, elizabeth

[ divider credit : @/strangergraphics | banner image from x-23 (2010) run ]

[ann1-wr1tes]

Leon Kennedy NSFW Alphabet

Dynamics: RE4! Leon Kennedy x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Spicy Alphabet

Warnings: Adult themes, obviously smut

A/N: Hey Leon simps...hope ya'll enjoy! Also if anyone wants to request any other characters for an alphabet, let me know!

-----

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

-Leon is very good at aftercare. He always makes sure that you are comfy and well cared for. He'll run you both a warm shower and he honestly just likes to take his time, washing your body and making sure you are well cared for and clean. His favorite part is when he finally gets to lay back in bed with you and relax as you drift off to sleep.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

-Leon loves your whole body honestly. If he had to pick one thing he'd probably say your hands. He likes to hold them and kiss them and its just something that's so grounding to him when he's fucking you and he intertwines his fingers with yours.

-On himself I think he'd be particularly proud of arms. He knows he's got some muscle on them and it just makes him feel strong.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

-Leon would probably prefer something simple like your stomach if not inside a condom. If he has to pull out, he doesn't like making too big of a mess so your stomach will do.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

-He's always wanted to wake you up with a little surprise. Whether that be waking you up with head, fingering you, or fucking you awake. Its just something about how pretty you look when you're sleeping next to him and you have your ass pressed against his dick...

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

-Since this is taking place around RE!4 he doesn't have a lot of experience. Of course he's not nearly as clueless as he was in RE!2 but he's too busy to have that much experience under his belt. Luckily he's a quick learner.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

-He likes it simple. Missionary or maybe Doggy-style. Missionary is just perfect, he can gauge all your reactions and see how you feel when he looks at your face and its just perfect. Doggy-style is nice when he presses his chest against your back and he gets to be as close to you as possible. His arms would be wrapped around your waist as he rolls his hips into yours.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

-Not too goofy but he may crack a few horrible jokes here or there. He wants to keep the mood light and not too serious.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

-Not too messy, not completely bare. Given his line of work and very limited amount of time he has at home, I think he tries his best to stay as well groomed as possible but he leaves a little bit and has a nice happy trail.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

-In the moment he an get very sucked up into all the emotions and the feelings that happen during sex. His life is hard and he rarely ever gets to take the time to unwind so sometimes it can be emotional for him and he just wants to show you how appreciative he is.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

-Oh absolutely. When he's off on the other side of the world, away from you he's got to have some way to relieve stress. Its not that frequent but he does it often enough late at night when he's thinking of you.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

-Definitely has a praise kink. He wants to hear how good he is doing for you, how good he is making you feel, and if you happen to tell him how strong he is or how handsome he looks then he might just cum right then and there...

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

-Usually at home in bed, but there have been a few instances where he has enjoyed some shower sex. You two just wanted to spend some time together after he got home from a mission and he couldn't help himself when he saw soap running down your skin and your pretty body standing there in front of him.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

-Just you in general. He loves everything about you and god does he think you're hot. You barely even have to do anything to get him hard. You could probably give him a few good kisses and he'd start to get heated.l

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

-No guns, no knives, and I don't think he'd be huge into choking. Anything that could hurt you is a definite no for him. I also don't think he'd into the whole "daddy" thing..it kinda just weirds him out-

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

-He prefers giving. Its one of his ways he likes to show you how much he loves and appreciates you. Just having you lay back and spread your legs is one of his favorite things.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

-Steady. Not too fast, not too slow. He likes to get the job done but not rush it too much. Of course if you want it rougher/faster he'd be happy to oblige and there are moments when he's feeling more emotional or soft so he'll be a bit softer and slow then.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

-He doesn't mind them. Sometimes he'll get a call for work and he'll have to leave soon but he wants to fuck you on last time before he goes. I feel like it'd be a common thing between you too.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

-He's neutral on taking risks. He's pretty much down for anything you'd like to try, so long as its within reason. But if you want to experiment then he's more than happy to give it a try with you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

-Leon has good stamina but the poor boy is tried most of the time. I think he'd be able to give you a good few long rounds before passing out lmao-

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

-He doesn't own any toys himself but if you had some and wanted to use them he'd be happy to. I think he'd be more eager to use them on you but if you convince him you'd probably be able to use a vibrator on him or maybe a cock ring-

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

-Doesn't tease at all. He's very giving and generous while having sex and he loves to make you feel good.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

-Not too loud but not quiet. I'd say he's somewhere in the middle. He'll let out a few good groans and maybe some moans if you get him feeling really good.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

-He loves it when you wear his clothes. Whether that be an oversized shirt or his jacket, its just something about seeing you in his clothes that gets him going.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

-Definitely a grower. Leon when he's soft is a good 6.5 inches and when he's hard, he gets to a whole 7.5 inches. When hard his dick tilts slightly to the left but has one of two prominent veins running up his shaft.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

-Pretty high honestly. He's always pent up from his job and stressed so one of the best ways he can relieve himself it by fucking you. Plus he just loves you and can't seem to get enough of you so his sex drive is decently high.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

-He tries to stay up long enough for you to fall asleep first but sometimes he's just so worn out that he either falls asleep with you or a little before you.

[kylosjuul]

Kylo Ren NSFW Alphabet (reupload)

a/n: i posted this last year and here it is again! if ur expecting kylo to be a dom don’t read this. Also, this is AFAB!reader.

——

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Kylo has never had anybody to cherish like this, to hold. So you best believe after sex, he’s planting soft kisses across your face and lips trying to show how lucky he feels to have you; that you gave this gift of intimacy to him. It’s all soft touches and cuddles (fight me on this). He looks at you with a sense of longing, to have this feeling forever. He’ll hold your hand over his heart while you fall asleep on his chest, for it only beats for you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Everything about your body has Kylo red in the face, but he finds his eyes trailing to your thighs and your ass often. Your uniform clings to them tightly, and he feels guilty about how quick his blood pools to his thighs, constantly readjusting his leather pants when you bend down or “accidentally” brush against him.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Okay, listen. Kylo has never had any sexual experience so you BEST believe he cums a lot. And hard. Borderline hyperspermia. He’s just so sensitive and you just feel too good wrapped around him. Expect rope after rope of thick cum coating your walls, spilling out of you and down your thighs :D

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

You make him hard. A lot. He feels so perverted, especially in the beginnings of your relationship. The soft floral notes of your perfume made his pants constrict, the sweet smell making him dizzy. Every kiss, every brush of your fingers=boner. He was embarrassed. The worst part is the wet dreams. Oh. The dreams. Kylo’s mind would drift to images of you kissing him, sitting on top of him, the warmth between your legs remedying the pressure building in his hips; but he would wake up every time, hard as a rock, spilling into his sleep pants panting your name. Yeah.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Absolute virg. Never even kissed a girl before. The first time you climbed on top of him and started trailing kisses down his neck, he was 100% whipped, almost finishing in his uniform as you rocked against his length. He knew he couldn’t give this up, couldn’t give YOU up.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

A bit simple, but this man lovesss missionary. He gets off when your face twists up in pleasure, knowing he’s the one providing it to you. Plus, he can hear each moan, each sharp intake of breath; Between your face drenched in lust, your sweet sounds, and your tits bouncing with each thrust, this position makes him cum the hardest. (Besides you on top. He’ll dig his fingers into your hips watching himself disappear inside you over and over. yum).

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

I’d say Kylo is serious during the deed. He just loves you so much and wants to worship you with every bit of intimacy he has in him. Large calloused palms smoothing back your hair, plush lips sucking on your collarbone, all of it.

“You’re so beautiful. My sweet girl…”

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He isn’t the hairiest man in the galaxy, but he does have a bit of hair down south. Nothing too extreme though. Kylo is very hygienic and well groomed, nothing to worry about here!

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

THE MOST INTIMATE. You can see in his eyes how he feels he doesn’t deserve you, doesn’t deserve your soft body beneath him. He treats you as if you’ll break, as if you’re the most precious being in the universe. Constantly asking if you’re okay, or, “Does this feel good?” He loves to serve you. To pleasure you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

As aforementioned, Kylo can’t help how hard he is around you 24/7. If he knows he’s going to see you, he’ll tuck himself away into his refresher and think of your figure, your eyes looking up at him, (that REALLY makes him cum fast) and stroke his cock with a punishing pace, imagining you slamming down on his hips. He feels a tinge of shame as he grits his teeth and releases his load onto the refresher door.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Praise. He feels his thighs go weak when you drag your fingers through his hair and call him a “good boy.” He’ll look up at you through heavy lids, a silent plea for more soft touches and appraisals. Also, eye contact. If you ever want anything from him, just look up at his through your eyelashes and he’ll blush like a madman, giving you whatever it is you crave.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He’s a very private person and extremely jealous, so he prefers to fuck you in your shared quarters. Nowhere else. Okay, maybe in his TIE, but that’s only when you beg him so sweetly; and who is he not to give his girl whatever she wants?

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Yes. Just yes. A kiss that lingers a second too long, his name on your lips (in any context), your soft hand following the curve of his jaw. He’s a goner. If you want to torture the man, wear a low cut top around him, he’ll be desperately grabbing at your hips in no time.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything involving someone else. He’s a jealous, jealous man. All these fics about him sharing you with the KOR….girl. A big no no is anything related to degradation. Attention all Kylo writers! He would never even DREAM of calling you names or hurting you in any way. You’re his precious girl and he just loves you so so much:(

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Virgin, remember? The first time you sucked his cock, he’s was a panting mess, brows furrowed, low moans punched from his chest, finishing in your mouth in under a minute. After a few times together, you guided him on how to eat pussy, and he definitely prefers watching your hips rock up into his face, coming undone from his warm tongue. (Kylo will never admit this, but while he was eating you out he rocked against the mattress like a rabid dog, cumming all over his stomach, a pool of his spend spreading over the sheets. Yeah, he prefers giving).

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends on how much time you’ve spent apart. If he hasn’t seen you for a week, (missions, supreme leader shit) he’ll fuck into you with a strong and punishing pace, still careful not to hurt you, though. If it’s a normal day, he’ll slowly rock into you, dragging his cock along your walls in a sensual way, but you usually beg him to speed up, pushing you further and further up the mattress.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Kylo is a simp. He will take whatever you so kindly gift him with. You get to fuck your man whenever you so please. He gives it to you no matter the time. Day or night. He’s just so excited there’s a GIRL who wants him, his cock, this badly.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Nah. Not really. He’d rather savor the sex, instead of constantly looking over his shoulder. But if you drag him into a storage closet aboard and start massaging him through his leather, who is he to say no?

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Hate to burst any bubbles here, but he’s completely inexperienced, so don’t expect him to last very long, at least not at first. He physically has to tense his muscles, eyes squeezed shut in concentration, trying so hard NOT to blow his load the second your tight wet heat engulfs his cock. His skin is flaming hot, but he’s shivering above you, groans emanating from his slacked jaw, trying to fight the way his balls draw up, the way his stomach muscles tighten already.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Are sex toys canon in Star Wars? Someone please lmk. But my answer is going to be no for now!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Kylo doesn’t have to tease you, like, at all. You just want him so bad all the time and he still doesn’t understand why. However. You’re quite the tease, and this poor virgin can’t take it. Seriously, if you want to see the mighty Kylo Ren crumble, all you need to do is press a chaste kiss to his lips, put a hand on his thigh, look at him, or just breathe basically, and he’ll be hard and wanting in seconds. I love our space boyfriend.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Ben Swolo can make some NOISE lemme tell ya. It’s all low groans and grunts, so caught up in the heat of your body and how fucking tight you are around him. No matter how hard he tries to contain the noises that slip from his throat, he can’t help it. He’ll confidently moan and moan in your ear, minted breath hitting your cheek, letting you know his pleasure is solely from you, and you alone.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Kylo is what we call a service top. He would do anything to put your pleasure first, his own pleasure depends on that. He had never cum harder than that first time you clamped around his cock, finally feeling your orgasm around him. Lights flickered and whirred; it was…intense.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Hung like a moose omg who said that? Anyways. My guess is 7-8 inches. Good luck girl.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Siri play ‘Everyday’ by Ariana Grande please. Seriously. He feels fucking insane with how bad he wants to be buried in you at all times. Whether he’s tired, beaten or bruised, you could catch a dick anytime.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Kylo will eventually fall asleep cuddled up next to you, but not until he allots himself a few minutes to admire your beauty, running his thick fingers through your hair, kissing your temple until he sees you eyes flutter shut. Awe. Whatta softie.

[thefanficmonster]

Do you do NSFW? If so, may I request a Markiplier NSFW alphabet?

Hi dear! Usually I struggle greatly when writing anything NSFW for RPF but I shall do my best. Baby steps lol Hope you enjoy <3

Pairing: Markiplier x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: !!NSFW content below the cut!!

A= Aftercare (What they're like after the act)

Mark is the absolute sweetest and most attentive lover before, during and after the act.

After he's made sure you're alright, he'd go grab you a bottle of water, a snack and a towel to clean you up. You can bet on a long cuddle sesh after the act, filled with intimacy and romance, periodically interrupted by jokes he'd crack to make you laugh.

B= Body Part (Favorite body part of their own or on their lover)

He's pretty damn proud of his hands. Years of gaming have made them particularly skillful in many ways and he knows how to utilize them just right *wink* *wink*

Oh, and also his back. He's been influenced to love it by you more so than on his own accord but still.

On you, he loves your legs and thighs. Count on him constantly having his hands all over them in both innocent and explicit instances. And when you wrap your legs around his waist....consider him a goner.

C= Cum (anything that has to do with it)

Inside, no questions asked.

Before you got to the point of being comfortable enough for that, however, he found just as much pleasure in painting either your chest, thighs or face.

D= Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory)

Nothing helps him excel at a game quite like under-the-desk head while recording. Bonus points if it's a live stream.

E= Experience (do they know what they're doing)

Mark has had decent amount of experience, enough to be versed into how things work textbook-wise. Every skill he exhibits, however, is something he improvised at some point. But don't take that the wrong way - this man knows exactly what he's doing

F= Favorite Position

Mark is simple man and his favorite position reflects that - Doggy style (closely followed by cowgirl)

G= Goofy (how serious are they)

Oh this man is a majore league goof in general and during sex. That's not to say he can't get into character and dawn a serious and attractively intimidating front when the atmosphere of the night calls for it.

He's a perfect balance between goofy and serious, occasionally leaning far left or far right depending on the moment.

H= Hair (grooming habits)

He takes care of his hygiene rather meticulously. He keeps everything neat, trimmed and clean.

I= Intimacy (how are they in the moment)

There's never a shortage of intimacy between you and Mark during the act. Regardless of if the night calls for making love or having rough sex, there's never a lack of intimacy and closeness between you two.

That being said, I'd again say it's perfectly balanced. Whatever the night calls for is how Mark responds - be it slow, romantic lovemaking or rough and dirty sex.

J= Jerk-off (do they masturbate and how often)

He used to do it a lot more frequently before you started dating. Now, nothing can compare to the real thing. He can't find much satisfaction in masturbating but he still turns to it as a resort of release when either of you is away on a trip

K= Kink (kinks they might have)

Dear God, please forgive me for this...

Choking, spanking, hair-pulling, dom/sub dynamics, daddy kink, light bondage, praising/degrading (depending on what the situation calls for). Feel free to share your thoughts on this topic in the comments

L= Location (where they're down to get it on)

Every single surface in the house is game in Mark's eyes. Especially the kitchen counter and the nicely spacious shower

M= Motivation (what gets them going)

You, in any context you can think of. You don't even need to be dressed provocatively in any way shape or form. This man is just so head over heels for you, he can't help it.

Apart from that, a good ol' rage game will raise his blood pressure just right and he'll proceed to blow off some steam with you. The same works the other way around - when he's high on the success of completing a game and he celebrates with you

N= No (what they're strictly against and wouldn't try)

Anything with violent and hostile connotations that could bring you harm in any way, be it physical or emotional. He loves you more than words can describe and just the thought of hurting you fills him with dread. You both like dabbling into the occasional impact play but nothing more than that, and never without a safe word.

O= Oral (are they more of a giver or receiver)

Mark is a big fan of receiving but he enjoys giving so much more. He does it for his own pleasure just as much as he does it to bring you satisfaction. He loves every aspect of it - your taste, the tangling of your hands in his hair, the sounds you make, the bucking of your hips. It's his own personal high. He could do it for hours if you'd let him.

P= Pace (what's their pace during the act)

Again, the speed setting Mark operates on depends on the atmosphere of the night. On the regular, he likes to take it slow, prolong the experience and uphold this bubble of intimacy around the two of you for as long as he can.

Q= Quickie (are they a fan of quickies)

Nope.

The Devil is into details and so is Mark. And it's difficult to appreciate the details when working with a small time frame. He likes to take his time, worshipping you the way you deserve in the most meticulous and intimate manner.

R= Risk (how risky are they/do they like trying new things)

Oh he loves a good unconventional and borderline public location where there's a chance at getting caught. Although he prefers the comfort of your shared house it doesn't cancel out his love for the thrill of some public fun.

As for trying new things, he's down to try everything at least once - unless it falls in the No criteria I mentioned earlier. All you have to do is bring it up and you can automatically consider him signed up and strapped in, ready to try it.

S= Stamina (how long they last in bed)

The speed may or may not directly relate to how long he lasts. He can get at least two rounds - a solid hour/hour and a half - under his belt before breaking a sweat.

T= Toys (do they own and and are they down to experiment with them)

I have a feeling there is a box, hidden in a dark corner of a closer or under his bed, containing a small collection of sex toys. If you're game to use him, he'd love nothing more than take them out to play.

U= Unfair (are they a tease)

To an infuriating degree. He'd even mock you when you whine, beg or get frustrated with his teasing.

It's music to his ears.

V= Volume (how loud are they during sex)

Mark is vocal but not loud.

He exhibits his satisfaction and pleasure with mainly sighs and groans, all at a pretty low volume. But he's also very expressive during sex - praising/degrading you accordingly or dirty talking you over the edge. All in a whispered or hushed tone that makes it all the hotter.

W= Wild Card

Remember how I said he's not a big fan of masterbating? Well, when he has to resort to it he has a certain way of making it much more pleasurable...

Photos and videos you two have taken during the act or right afterwards in your disheveled states.

It's his personal collection, safely tucked away in a dark hidden corner of his computer memory.

X= X-Ray (what are they packing)

I'm sorry, I can't. I just can't. I've sinned enough tonight LMAOO

Y= Yearning (sex drive level)

Name: Mark

Status: Permanently horny

Z= Zzzz (*yawn*)

I already mentioned a cuddle sesh earlier and I will now add onto it to say that, although he tries his best not to, he does fall asleep rather quickly and deeply. How could he not when he feels so much comfort with his arms wrapped around you. When he falls asleep to the sound of your breathing and heartbeat, it's the most peaceful slumber he's ever had.

[r0-boat]

Hi, have you done Bimet's NSFW Alphabet? If not can you make one please 🙏

Heheh Yes I will gladly make a alphabet headcannon post about one of my favorite characters in the game

Bimet NSFW ALPHABET

Cw: NSFW

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

You would be surprised that he is very good at aftercare, He will make you feel so loved and cared for when he's done. I'm talking small kisses all over your body, rubbing sore spots on your body; anything you want, he will gladly give you. A soft side of him that he shows to only two people in his entire lifetime.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He will never admit it, But his favorite part about you is your smile. Not one of those fake smiles either, a genuine smile never fails to brighten his otherwise shit tastic day. As much as he doesn't agree the little things that make you smile. As much as he thinks something so ignificant like a bug or a leaf could make you so happy. He can't help but find that a little endearing please never change.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

All demons in Tartaros are pretty possessive, it's part of their greedy nature. Even though he knows and gets off to the fact that you own everything, he can't help but have the urge to mark his territory with his seed. And you are on you he just has this hunger to claim and make sure you stay claimed that must be quelled.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He's got pet fantasies, He wants to be your pet, your concubine anything. Desperately willing to worship you. happily wear a nice little collar around his neck. As much as he likes to argue and poke fun at you as soon as those He's alone with you He's on his knees.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Oh he knows what he's doing. He takes great pride in pleasuring you And he strives to be the best fuck you'll ever have anything for you. He'll make you feel like a god, a princess, the most important thing in the world.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Any position that's yours, But if you really have to pick He likes looking at his caught going inside you so as long as he can see His cock disappearing inside You're warm walls He's okay

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He is more serious, if you try to be goofy he will just start fucking you harder.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

This man probably has a 13 steps skin and hair care so of course he's groomed. He prefers to shave and prepare before having sex with you.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

One of the rare times he shows his love and affection for you. He genuinely loves spoiling and taking care of you if only you will allow him to do it. Stop Fighting him and accept his pampering broke dumb bitch!!!

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Never masturbated in his life and never needed to. But that was before you. Now he's... Addicted...You've turned him on so much, who knew sex could be so good! He's supposed to be a demon but you corrupted him now he can't get off without you, almost as good as money... Almost.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Roleplay, of any kind in absolute slut for praise kink and degrading.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere luxurious. My guy will Will make reservations for fancy rooms all across hell just to fuck you in them.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Money and you. Wealthy locations, fancy hotels fancy resorts anything. Especially if you're in nice expensive clothing If he tells you he reserved a night out somewhere he's going to fuck you stupid.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anywhere in bathrooms, in the street, definitely not outside, also don't wear anything stupid that's a turn off as well, )no the Bluey socks will not stay on during sex take them the fuck off...)

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Giving and receiving! Perhaps even a little bit of a fixation He will taste you all day if you don't stop him. Your cunt/dick tastes so good! And of course he will be watching every little move you make if you bob your head up and down on his cock. Try not to make you choke on it

Fast rough and wild, fucks you like an animal. Fucks you like This is the first time he has sex because in a way this is the first time he enjoyed sex. He knows he fucks you good no matter how much he pisses you off.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Master at quickies he could make you come so hard so fast. Though he rather have you all to himself instead of resort due quickly hiking your leg up to have you, He's greedy like that.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Yes he experiments, This is the first time he actually enjoyed sex He is going to make the most of it He's going to get freaky Don't judge him.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Pent up demons are not something you want to toy with. He lasts for a fucking long time even by demon standards, And he has a quick recovery too. After 5 rounds he will want more.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Yes, both him and you. He got some expensive ass toys in his collection somewhere. Some he hasn't even used on you yet some you've never even seen. Started buying them after the first time you had sex.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

That fucker likes to tease like it's his full-time job He wants to hear you beg and sob and squirm. He'll make you say embarrassing things. And record you doing it just for a keepsake. He knows how to get what he wants and he knows just what strings to pull. He knows how to touch you He knows your body and he will play you like an instrument

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

The man is loud, growling grunting whimpering moaning you name it talking degrading praising and whimpering your name..

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Threesomes with You and Mammon had happened before They actually happened more often than you think.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Beautiful big thick and long cut cock. Swollen balls

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Fucking ridiculous. He just had a taste of you and he is not willing to let you go.

Wraps in armorandy to pull you closer before cuddling up to you giving your forehead a few kisses before drifting off.

[kuro4thegays]

- Dr. Ratio nsfw alphabet -

[Veritas Ratio x gn!reader] [Originally written with male reader in mind, but there is no mention of genitalia so I think it can work for any gender. I tried to provide both something for top and bottom reader so everyone can get something out of this. The reader is assumed to be in a long term relationship with Veritas]

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Veritas can be really romantic. Initially, he doesn’t want either of you to pull away at all, just to nuzzle each other while your bodies stay intertwined in such an intimate fashion. Though if you really need it he’ll get up immediately to get you some water or snacks or really anything you need. Depending on the time of day you also might be expecting a bath, massages too.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Not a specific body part, but likes how proportional and symmetrical his body is as a whole. This guy is literally named Dr Ratio, leave me alone. On you though, I think he likes your face. Basic answer, but I really can't see it any other way. Definitely likes tracing the contours of your face when bored, studying it like an ancient sculpture. Oh, and I guess it's pretty hot how your face twists in pleasure while you're doing it.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

If he's topping he likes to cum inside, otherwise cumming all over you is the second best. I feel like he wouldn't be a fan of cumming all over himself so if bottoming he'll like to do it either on the bed or if possible somewhere on you. My man also probably likes fruits, that's what gives his cum a sweet-ish taste, definitely not the sugary sweet kind though, the earthy natural sweet.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Definitely wants to do it in a very natural space, like a lake or something. That primal feeling, miles away from the rationality he exudes usually, really gets him going, but he's too afraid of someone walking in and ruining the moment to actually do it.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Virgin. Most of his life he probably had that kind of mindset that it's probably not worth it getting involved with someone else when he has everything he needs here. Still thinks that way, but now has you to keep his balls empty.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying.)

Loves lifting you off the ground, gotta show those muscles off. You just wrap around him so snugly and your faces are so close to each other it takes no effort just to start making out while pounding into you. Doesn't mind being lifted up himself either, especially if you're squeezing his ass while doing so, has and will attack your face with kisses. Other than that he likes anything where you two are face to face just in general.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Very serious. Because of how little experience he has and how little people he has let see him this way he probably takes it as an extremely important bonding time so don't expect any jokes or laughs from him. Though he won't be mad if you're into the more casual kind, hell, he’ll let you try getting a laugh out of him.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Extremely well groomed. He's a neat freak, man loves baths and goes nuts when he sees a single dirty spot on his book, he's well capable of keeping himself clean. No hair out of place and all, if he even has any on his lower body.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Said it already, but he takes sex very seriously. Slow and sensual is his thing. Makes it a whole ritual, lighting candles, maybe using some rose petals that he likes putting into his baths, massaging your back, everything to make you feel absolutely refreshed afterwards and ultimately make you feel closer to each other at the end.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Doesn't do it that often, but when he does it's most likely during the morning shower. Though, unfortunately, if he has the displeasure of having another bath without his lover he might have to rub one out alone in there too.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Praise and degradation are a must with this man. Just state your preference, or do both if you’re into it, and he’ll already be running his mouth even before you start. Body worship is also a big thing for him. With his marble statues you can assume that he at least must love his own body and something tells me that he’ll be equally if not more obsessed with his lover's one.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Not into risky stuff, he has a reputation to keep. Maybe you can suck him off under his work desk with all the doors locked, but that's where it ends. Maybe bathhouses, but only if you have a reserved room or smth. Though when it comes to your private adobe nothing is off the table. The bed, bathtub, over the counter, against the wall, he isn't too picky.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Not hard to get him in the mood. Loves how open you are with him and if you ask him nicely he’ll already feel motivated. Just seeing you so needy and wanting him makes him feel special, like he is the only one who you would run up to with something so intimate. Expect him to tease you about it though.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that has to do with risking his reputation, no public sex or exhibitionism. Threesomes are also a no for him, not with someone he knows and definitely not with a stranger. He has made it clear that you're the only one who he wants to experience this kind of intimacy with.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He was definitely a little weirded out at the start. Don't get me work, he knew how it's done and what it meant, he isn't that innocent, but the thought of actually doing just felt gross to him. Of course, that's where you came(in more ways than one) in. Unfortunately for you, he is a fast learner. Now oral is his favorite way to open up a long night session with you. It doesn't take much preparation, so expect him to wake you up using his mouth.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

My guy likes to take his time. He sees sex like he sees his baths, a way to cleanse the body of all its filth, so sometimes it really does feel like you're making love instead of having sex. He just finds himself dissatisfied with the fast and rough methods that just dry him out.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

It might seem surprising after I talked so much about him taking his time, but I don't think he actually minds quickies that much. Though he doesn't like making a routine out of them, sure a quickie is good once in a while to relieve some stress, but he doesn't want it to spoil sex for him entirely. He likes them most during the morning showers.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

While he doesn't want to take any risks with his reputation, he certainly doesn't mind doing risky stuff behind closed doors. How are you supposed to see the results without any experimentation?

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Oh, he can go for plenty. My man is beefy and all that muscle isn't just for show. The thing is, one round for him already takes a while so expect to be spent and thoroughly satisfied. Not that he doesn't mind going again, he's just wondering if you can keep up.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He doesn't have a lot of toys but he definitely doesn't mind using some on you or you using some on him. Keep in mind though, if you allow him he can get pretty ruthless with them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Definitely a huge tease, refuse to believe otherwise. Going to go further into it in a moment, but my guy is talkative. Nothing you do will go unnoticed and everything you do will be commented on. Also teasing with his actions. That one extra button left unbuttoned was specifically left there to cause a reaction from you. Will deny you orgasm if you're into that. He loves the power all the things listed above give him and the feeling of being desired really gets him going. You could inflate his ego even more or even try to shut that pretty mouth yourself.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

I don't know if this is a hot take but I think that he might get more vocal once he is with someone he trusts. Definitely won't hide his voice from you when he sees you getting more aroused, might as well use it to tease you. Oh, and he's definitely a talkative one. Expect lots of comments between those sweet groans and moans of his.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Massages are his favorite form of foreplay. Be it during baths with all his fancy soaps and oils or in bed after an exhausting day, it's a very intimate, but not necessarily sexual, way to relax the body and he needs your body to be relaxed if he wants to proceed with more intense stuff. Doesn't mind receiving a massage either, though he is mostly the one giving them he can't deny himself the pleasure of your hands worshiping his muscles.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He is a big man, what do you expect? No, but for real, it matches his size. Every part of him is proportional. Always cleanly shaven and well groomed and only has a few subtly visible veins just below the head. Cut and colored with a pinkish blush on the very tip.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Not that high. He keeps himself intellectually occupied most of the time. Though he can get turned on pretty quickly when his partner initiates.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I imagine most of your steamy encounters happen at the end of the day so he already feels pretty drained. That orgasm is probably the last push for him before going to bed, assuming that all of your needs are taken care of first.

[Just something quick to deliver while I'm working on something bigger to keep you all well fed]

[evilminji]

You know what would be HILARIOUS?

For everyone NOT involved in the situation?

If the Uzumaki, mad lads that they were, seal master's who routinely moon the Shinigami for funsies that they are, got SUUUUUPER drunk? And were like?

"F-! *hic!* FUCK your fancy ass Summons contract Himiko! I got one TOO, you know. A..An' it's TOTALLY better then yours! It's got BLACKJACK! And hookers!" *falls on their face unconscious*

Needless to say? Not their proudest moment. Actually, their kinda deeply embarrassed. But like FUCK ARE THE BACKING DOWN! Their mouths wrote a check their ass can't currently cash... so the only REASONABLE solution? Apologize and tell the truth? Psh! NO.

Break Reality Until It's TRUE.

THEN they weren't technically lying!

They're a GENIUS~☆! :D

And yes, yes this IS normal behavior for them. It's both cultural AND genetic. There was a REASON people were terrified of those insane mother fuckers.

Because? They just? MADE UP a A Summons Contract. With Who? Dunno! We're gonna find out! But it looks right Seals wise! *signs name before anyone with sense can stop them, does the signs, draws blood aaaand?*

POOF!

Nani THE FUCK!? Says local dead Japanese 16th century fisherman who was flying by to visit the Lair of his buddy the 14th century monk. Behold! A FUCKING ZONE GHOST! He is unsummoned before he can react.

The Uzumaki have A Ghost Contract™.

.........th....they may have fucked up.

YOU THINK?

Roars basicly the ENTIRE Elders council. Who FUCKING FELT THAT. Because EVERYONE Felt that. They're SENSOR. That was a HOLE in REALITY that somehow GLOWED like a BEACON of both absolute Nothingness and Death! You TRAUMATIZED THE KIDS, YOU ASSHOLE!

Still....they ARE ninja. And Curious mother fuckers to the last.

So basically EVERYONE and their dog signs it. They somehow get WEIRDER. Bigger Chakra reserves. Obsessive tendencies. Meh, you win some, you lose some.

But? Then they fuckin DIE. (And their WHOLE ASS VILLAGE SHOWS UP IN THE ZONE. OH GOD, WHAT-!?)

And some grave robbing fuck tries to use the Contract. SUPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!

Ghost Uzumaki!

Your literal worst nightmare!

They DO NOT try using it again. It gets sealed DEEP. Until the Hokage gets wind of it. And, of course, Danzo. The Hokage sends Hound. And Team Kakashi on a completely unrelated but nearby "help a farmer" mission. Danzo sends assassins. Because he's fucking awful.

Kakashi gets the scroll.

Yep. Creepy rambling and shit handwriting, def Uzumaki. Time to go.

He gets attacked on the way back to camp. GDI Root. Well, its you or me. Sucks for you, I guess. They fight. They get a lucky shot. He bleeds on the scroll, doesn't notice. But SURELY... SURELY it isn't CROWDED enough with names that the Uzumaki just added a "and anyone who bleeds on THIS part at the bottom _______ plus does the handsigns" towards the end.... RIGHT??

RIGHT?! Look him in the EYES Uzumaki Clan, RIGHT??!

They would prefer not to answer that. The Vibez here are getting REALLY aggressive, you know? >.> It made sense at THE TIME...

So... he goes to summon his Dogs.

And he SURE DOES GET UM.... plus One(1!!!).

Who the FUCK is this glowing green dog? A puppy? Kakashi seeing the dimwitted looking little thing about to get STABBED tries to rescue it. It takes one look look at him (worried for it), the other dogs (growling at his enemies, fighting) and... turns around, shifting as it does, to HUNDREDS of times it's previous size.

Like an Akimichi transformation.

A sudden, hulking, green WOLF with red glowing eyes and killing intent that would Rival a demon's. The howl is unearthly. It joins the fray like a meat thresher.

Then pops back to a floating, tongue lolling, dimwitted pup the second everything is done.

G...God boy?

Far be it for KAKASHI to fear a dog, no MATTER how dangerous. So he carries it back to camp. Where it seems to instant fall in LOVE with Naruto. They become the BEST of friends.

There's frolicking.

Looking down at the pocket with the scroll he reclaimed? Yeah. Yeah that tracks. According to Pakkun, the pup has a "weird, echo-y" accent and is incredibly scatter brained. Training to be a gaurd dog? WAS Training. IS currently... what.

Okay. IS currently the gaurd dog/pet of an Emperor. Because THATS not alarming. Did the Royal family all... wait... he examines the pup again. Transparent. Was it KILLING intent he felt... or a Deathy pressure? Didn't the Uzumaki have Forbidden soul and death seals? It would stand to REASON...

Oh god damn it.

Pakkun. Pakkun please tell me that pup is ALIVE.

(He can not.) (Hilariously? Dispite being TERRIFIED of Ghosts? Naruto is TOTALLY COOL with Zone Ghosts? Don't be MEAN, Sensei! They're just PEOPLE! It's not THEIR fault They're dead! Now GHOSTS? Spooky and EVIL! Totally different.)

@hdgnj @babbling-babull @hypewinter @legitimatesatanspawn @mayfay

[victorianbatman]

More ATLA/LOK Incorrect quotes

GN reader, unless stated otherwise

Bolin, propping his feet on the table: So, I heard you like bad boys?

Y/n: What? No.

Bolin, taking his feet off the table: Oh thank God, that felt terrible.

-

Lin: Whats this?

Y/n, hugging her: Affection.

Lin: Disgusting.

Lin:…

Lin: Do it again.

-

Bolin: Wow, your legs look amazing in those pants!

Y/n: You should see me without them.

Bolin: Without.. legs?

-

Sokka: What did you make for Y/n?

Zuko, staring at the burnt food: Regret.

-

Korra, holding kettle: Coffee or tea?

Y/n: Tea.

Korra: Wrong! Its coffee.

-

Bolin, talking about y/n: My crush isn’t picking up on any of my hints.

Mako: What hints have you given them?

Bolin: I think about them.. a lot.

Bolin: And sometimes I think about talking to them.

-

Y/n: Mako?

Mako: What?

Y/n: Are you asleep?

Mako: Who the fuck did you think said ‘what’?

-

Y/n, waking up: Am I dead?

[Sees Asami next to them]

Y/n: Is this heaven?

Korra, bangs on door: Open up, fuckers its me Korra

Y/n, tearing up: I always knew I’d end up in hell.

-

Lin: Having trouble figuring out who knows Korra the best?

Asami: Its me!

Bolin: Its me!

Mako: Its me!

Y/n:..

Y/n: It’s probably not me.

-

Y/n: Time for plan G.

Mako: Wait- don’t you mean plan B?

Y/n: No we did plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over C because of some technical difficulties.

Asami: What about plan D?

Y/n: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Bolin: And plan E?

Y/n: Im hoping not to use it, I die in plan E.

Korra: I like plan E.

-

Y/n: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them?

Mako: Well, what do you do?

Y/n: I die? Pfft- What kinda question..

-

Y/n: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and it died.

Y/n: Then I started thinking. It was just trying to get food.

Y/n: Like, what if I went to the fridge to get something to eat and it slammed the door on me and broke my neck?

Y/n: Howw would I feel?

Mako: Are you ok?

-

Bolin: What does ‘take out’ mean?

Mako: Food.

Asami: Dating.

Korra: Murder.

Y/n: IT COULD MEAN ALL THREE IF YOURE NOT A FUCKING COWARD!

-

Korra: You’re a little obsessed with yourself aren’t you?

Y/n: Well if im not who else is gonna be?

-

[Y/n, throws bread at turtleducks]

Y/n: Do not forget this act of altruism. If I am ever in trouble, I expect you and your brethren to come to my aid. Do not forget.

-

Y/n: You’re the love of my life, I’d do anything for you.

Asami: I want you to take care of yourself and get enough sleep.

Y/n: Absolutely not.

-

Asami: My boyfriend is too tall to kiss, what should I do?

Korra: Punch him in the gut, then when he leans down kiss him.

Bolin: Tackle him

Y/n: Dump him, be with me.

Lin, passing by: Kick him in the shin.

Mako: Please don’t do any of those.

-

[Korra, sneaks into house at 2 am]

Mako, turns in swivel chair: Care to explain where you were?

Korra: Uhh.. I was out with Y/n.

Y/n, also turns around in another swivel chair: Care to- [chair wont stop turning] Mako- I cant stop the chair-

-

Bolin, after making Y/n mad: You wont hit me, I have witnesses.

Y/n: Mako. Asami. Turn around.

[Both Mako and Asmai turn around]

Bolin, scared: M-Mako? Asami?

-

Y/n: So whats Zukos type?

Sokka: Y/c eyes, kind, oblivious, good sense of humour, turtleduck lover.

Y/n: Damn, sounds kind of like me. Too bad we’re just friends though.

Sokka: Did I mention oblivious?

Y/n: Yeah why?

Sokka: Just making sure.