#is it really any wonder Goku turned out the way he is?

[shannonsketches]

I overanalyze the hell out of everything but! While we're here--

I think a lot (and am too lazy to make the many many comics in my head) about how Vegeta was having fun with these androids (even being sportsmanlike with Piccolo about it!) until he found out who Trunks was (and also that they were the wrong androids). Then between that reveal and Bulma getting shot down, he switches back into Spite and Fury, and I just chinhands I think a lot about what a shot to the chest it would be to learn that you die -- you die in the future, you lose to these surprise enemies -- and your son, with his mother's machine and knowledge of the events, comes back to the past to make sure someone else lives.

"It's just because Goku's the first to die, so it's a domino effect!" Yes, but,

Vegeta was standing right there when Bulma said her strategy was to destroy the androids before they became an issue. Vegeta knows that Bulma feels very strongly that this is the move, and that waiting is stupid. He also knows that she watched him dabble on Earth for a year and a half before Goku came home.

So he knows that she could've sent Trunks back earlier, and had him talk to Piccolo. Vegeta could've used that entire ~12-18 months to train for a specific threat, or even just to prepare for Frieza's return.

He also knows that she could've just as easily sent Trunks back while they were all on Namek, and taken care of the issue before any of them were even made aware of it. That was her suggestion in the present! Trunks could've left Goku's medication with Roshi, or Popo, and just let it remain a mystery where it came from and how it got there.

But instead, Trunks came the day that Goku came back. So he could meet Goku. And talk to Goku. So he could make sure Goku survived. So Goku could save everyone. Because Goku would be there to win the day. Because Goku's is the strength they trust to be enough.

The way that must corrode your insides and just flood you with envy, and spite, and poison. The way he behaves for the rest of this arc despite the clever strategist we saw on Earth and on Namek, despite the cautious observation, the patience, the snarky humor, the distinct recognition of a threat that needs eliminating before it's too late -- despite all these things we've seen him be and have and do, after this point he's reckless and fuming and desperate to prove himself to the detriment of everyone around him.

As a punishment, maybe? For choosing Goku over You?

As necessity? Because you've spent 30 of your 31 years having the value of your life measured solely by your ability to win?

As a distraction? From knowing that you spent your life fighting tooth and nail for all that you are, only to die, humiliated, at the feet of your enemies having failed to do the only task you felt you were alive to do, then be revived by mistake, then learn that even your own child would prefer the person who succeeded at that one seemingly impossible task?

It's really no wonder, at this extremely low and fragile point in Vegeta's life, that he went from quietly standoffish to actively erratic from this point. It's not until Cell slaps him with the reality check of losing those precious few who continued to choose him despite his profound personal and operational failures (which were likely a death sentence, where he's from) that he settles back down (in the manga) to being quietly standoffish, strategic, and cooperative toward the higher goal.

Then spends the next seven years learning it never had to be like that because it turns out people on this planet mostly still want you to be alive and come home even if you fuck up real bad and you actually don't have to be The Star Executioner to be valued and welcomed and even?? Loved?? Which sucks to learn after you've already gotten your son and your rival and very nearly your rival's son killed by being an insecure jackass and making everything worse than it had to be.

But don't worry, it'll only happen one more time and it'll only take like 40 minutes to publicly murder like 2000 people and almost destroy the entire universe because you had something totally different to prove this time, it's a minor relapse at best, it's fine, everyone's fine, we're all gonna wish that memory away from all the innocent people and only think about it at 2am when you're awake laying in bed trying to figure out why the fuck you're still allowed in this house and you can spend the next 4-6 years turning your shit around and embracing that soft emotions are okay to feel and you're not a defective specimen being slowly deconstructed on a backwater space rock and it's actually normal to care about stuff and it's everything you were ever taught before this that was toxic and wrong and had to be unlearned so you could grow and change and harness true strength instead of chasing shallow power so it's fine!! It's totally fine. Everything's fine. He's fine. He's good.

[tobiasdrake]

I've been loving your talks over the different dynamics between the various cast members of Dragonball and am kinda surprised no one's asked this one yet and you only really gave it a brief mention.

I would like to hear about Goku and Krillin's dynamic. They're the two I love seeing interact the most together and would love to see your takes and analysis.

Goku loves Krillin. Krillin is up there with Bulma, Chi-Chi, and Gohan in the category of Most Important People to him.

(No snubbing intended towards Goten; It's just that we've never gotten to see Goku and Goten spend any amount of time together, like, at all. We have no idea what their relationship is.)

It's honestly surprising how tight Goku and Krillin's bond is despite how little time they've ever spent with one another.

Although they started out, uh... rocky....

But that only lasted like a day. By the time their training started, it was water under the bridge.

I cannot in good conscience call Goku and Krillin inseparable because they separate for years at a time. That's how Goku is; He goes off on his own and does his own thing, only rarely checking in with his friends. This training session only lasted eight months, and then Krillin didn't see Goku for three years (save for the General Blue mini-arc of RRA.)

But when they are together, they're practically brothers - Even helping each other strategize during the Tenkaichi Budokai.

As an aside, I love the fact that not only is Krillin canonically noseless, it's not just art style, but also he hallucinates smells to compensate. Krillin imagines he's smelling whatever he thinks he should be smelling.

Wonder if he's ever made any bad assumptions?

In any case, the tactical advice isn't one-way either. Krillin helped Goku workshop his match with Tenshinhan too.

Goku was able to solve the Taiyoken/Solar Flare because, in every tournament, he's always got Krillin at his side to talk things over with and discuss the match. At every tournament, Yamcha's the guy who knows all the martial arts lore:

While Krillin is Goku's bestie and sounding board, cheering each other on from backstage and discussing what they're seeing in other matches.

It should be noted that Yamcha's a bro too, he just doesn't get the screentime that Krillin does. He's out of the 22nd Tenkaichi Budokai almost as quickly as it begins, in a way that doesn't let him hang around post-defeat and keep chilling with the others.

He also dies very early in the Saiyan battle so he doesn't get to stick around for the Vegeta dogpile, and then consequently misses the boat on Namek. So his relationship to Goku and Krillin doesn't get to be explored in nearly as much detail as Krillin's relationship to Goku.

Meanwhile, Goku and Krillin's tight bond of mutual respect and trust has saved the world.

It has also endangered the world.

Don't mind him, that's just Krillin over there supporting what he strongly believes to be an apocalyptic mistake because he loves and respects Goku enough to back him up even when he's wrong. Krillin has to make a choice between Goku's desire to fight Vegeta again and win next time, versus the fate of the Earth. He chooses Goku.

Though it did ultimately work out for the best.

In fact, this was his, Gohan's, and Goku's victory together right down to the wire. It was Goku who made Gohan an Oozaru.

But it was Krillin who made it work, by re-evaluating what he knew about the Oozaru and incorporating Saiyan psychology.

Hahaha it turns out Oozarus have been intelligent all along. It's just that transforming fills them with hyper-violent Saiyan aggression. Wonder if that's going to come up with any other transformations in the future?

Krillin, Goku, and Gohan all earned this victory together. And then Krillin and Goku chose to endanger the Earth for Goku's self-interest together.

Though it did ultimately work out for the best. In part because of Krillin's own machinations.

Dragon Ball is very much a protagonist-centric series. It's the story of Son Goku, even when it briefly tries to be the story of Son Gohan. And so what Krillin means to Goku extends outwards to what Krillin means to Dragon Ball as a whole.

And what Krillin means to Goku (and what Goku means to Krillin) is a lot.

Their relationship flourishes onscreen any time they're together. There's never any doubt that these two can rely on one another to have each other's back.

It's Krillin who even makes the plan to go to Namek in the first place.

It's Krillin whose mind Goku consults for guidance and a recap of what happened on Namek.

And it's Krillin who lights the spark of Goku's ascension.

Of all the humans, Krillin is easily the most important. The one with the most screentime, narrative focus, and examination of his relationship with Goku - A relationship that is depicted, every time it's onscreen, as a powerful bond of respect, teamwork, and love for one another.

Goku comes back to life after seven years of absence and Gohan is the first to jump him, followed by Krillin and then Chi-Chi. Goku's first order of business is meeting his son.

Followed immediately by interrogating Krillin on his family life.

This is just. This is what their relationship is. It honestly doesn't even feel like there's a lot that can even be said about them, because their relationship barely changes or grows in any way; It simply is. A bond of brotherhood carved in stone from very early in the series, that never wavers in its course.

[tytarax]

Hello!

I'm in love with Daishinkan, may I ask you for a headcanon Daishinkan/reader? The reader is a person and friend to Zeno(replaces Goku who trains against Black Goku) and if they knew each other for a couple years, the reader and Daishinkan could have fake dates and "relationships" in front of Goku's team(reader and priest troll the team)? I'm sure Bulma, Chichi and any of the other girls want to see the reader's relationship, but the only thing they see is a sly alien angel who is constantly giving his "mate" little things like cool rocks or something like that

Hi! OMG this is so cute!

(female pronouns)

(Image credits to its creator ZahyZamas on DeviantArt)

In the grand halls of the Omni-King's palace, tranquility reigned supreme. Daishinkan, also known as the Grand Priest, attended to his duties, his serene expression never betraying the chaos that often ensued in the universes under his watch. Yet, even in this order, mischief had a way of sneaking in, especially when a certain human friend of Zeno-sama was involved.

Y/N had found herself in the company of gods and angels, forming a kinda bond with the Omni-King himself. Over the years, she had become a familiar face in the palace, her mortal quirks and humor a refreshing change for the otherwise stoic inhabitants. And it was this very humor that had led her to an unconventional partnership with Daishinkan.

It all started as a joke, a way to pass the time and perhaps add a bit of excitement to the daily routine. The idea was simple: pretend to be in a "relationship" with the Grand Priest and see how long it would take for everyone to catch on. The sheer absurdity of it was too tempting to resist.

Today, Y/N was lounging in Capsule Corp's garden, admiring the landscape that surrounded her. The sudden appearance of a portal and a known energy announced the arrival of her "partner in crime."

"Ah, there you are," Daishinkan greeted, his voice calm as ever. He held out his hand, revealing a collection of sparkling rocks. "I found these during my duties. I thought you might like them."

Y/N couldn't help but smile. "Oh, Daishinkan-sama, you always know how to find the best gifts," she replied, playing along with the act.

Unbeknownst to them both, Bulma, Chichi, and 18 were observing from a distance, their curiosity piqued by the unusual sight. Bulma, ever the skeptic, squinted suspiciously. "Since when did the Grand Priest start giving gifts?"

Chichi, on the other hand, was more intrigued than suspicious. "Do you think they're together?"

"I wouldn't blame Y/N if they were together." 18 said. Which was to be expected if you see her husband.

Before anyone could say anything, Daishinkan turned to Y/N with an almost imperceptible glint of amusement in his eyes. "Shall we take a stroll through Grand Zeno's gardens, my dear?"

"Of course, darling," she replied, standing up from the ground and passing through the portal with Daishinkan's help. The two of them made sure to maintain a respectable distance, the perfect picture of a couple enjoying a leisurely walk.

Back in their hiding spot, Goku, who was also there but didn't notice at first, and his friends were practically buzzing with excitement. "I can't believe it," Goku muttered. "They really do look like a couple."

Bulma smirked. "I have to admit, it would be kinda cute. But we need more proof."

---

Over the next few days, Y/N and Daishinkan continued their charade, each interaction more elaborate than the last. Y/N exchanged playful banter shared meals, and even staged romantic moments under the stars. All the while, her friends watched with growing fascination.

One evening, as the group gathered at Capsule Corp., Bulma couldn't resist bringing up the topic. "So, (Y/N), how's your 'relationship' with the Grand Priest going?"

Y/N fought the urge to laugh, keeping her expression neutral. "Oh, it's wonderful. He even gave me this amazing flower bouquet with flowers from all universes. He's so thoughtful."

Chichi leaned in, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. "You have to tell us more! What's he like as a partner?"

"I strive to be attentive to (Y/N)'s needs. It is important to cherish those we care about." A sudden voice startled everyone, Y/N blushed like crazy. What the hell!?

Thing is, he was not present, yet his voice echoed through the place like that of a god.

The room fell silent, everyone processing the Grand Priest's words. For a moment, it seemed as though they might actually believe the ruse.

Then, Goku, ever the oblivious one, spoke up. "I still can't believe it. I mean, you and the Grand Priest? It's just so… unexpected."

Y/N stared at him while thinking what to say, struggling to keep a straight face. "Love works in mysterious ways," she said with a shrug.

Bulma raised an eyebrow. "Come on, you two. There's got to be more to the story. How did this all start?"

Y/N leaned back, feigning a dreamy expression. "Well, it was a few years ago. I was just wandering around the palace, and Daishinkan noticed I seemed a bit out of place. He offered to show me around, and one thing led to another. We just clicked."

"Indeed. I found (Y/N)'s perspective on life quite refreshing. It is not often that we encounter someone with such a unique view of the universe."

Chi-Chi sighed, clearly enchanted by the story. "That's so sweet. It's like something out of a fairy tale."

Krillin, who had been listening quietly, finally spoke up. "So, do you two have any plans for the future? Any big romantic gestures we should know about?"

Y/N grinned, somehow feeling the smirk on Daishinkan's face "Well, we were thinking of organizing a little event. Something fun for everyone."

Goku's eyes lit up. "An event? Like a tournament?"

Daishinkan chuckled softly. "Not quite, Goku. More like a celebration. A chance for all of us to come together and enjoy each other's company."

As the evening wore on, the topic shifted to other matters, but the seed of curiosity had been planted. Y/N and Daishinkan continued their act, each day bringing new opportunities to playfully "troll" everyone.

---

One afternoon, she found herself in the training grounds of the holy world, or whatever the name is, watching Goku and Vegeta spar. Daishinkan leaned over and whispered, "Shall we give them something to talk about?"

She nodded eagerly. "Absolutely."

As Goku and Vegeta finished their match, Y/N approached them, holding Daishinkan's hand. "You guys were amazing out there! But you know, Daishinkan and I have been practicing some moves of our own."

Vegeta raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? Care to show us?"

Daishinkan smiled serenely. "Perhaps another time. For now, we simply wish to enjoy the spectacle."

Goku, ever the enthusiastic one, clapped his hands. "I can't wait to see that! You two must have some incredible techniques."

As they were leaving, Daishinkan turned to you, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "I believe our little ruse is working quite well."

Y/N laughed, squeezing his hand. "I think so too. And who knows? Maybe we're actually teaching them something about having a bit of fun."

In the end, it wasn't about fooling anyone. It was about the fun of the shared laughter and the unique bond that had formed between them. And who knew? Maybe, just maybe, there was a bit of truth hidden in the jest, a genuine connection that went beyond the playful facade.

As Y/N and Daishinkan shared a knowing smile, she couldn't help but think that, in the grand scheme of things, this was the kind of chaos the universe needed—a reminder that even in the presence of gods, there was always room for a little bit of mischief and a whole lot of fun.

Masterpost

DBS Masterlist

[wilderness-of-thoughts]

Before:

You both agreed that it was darkest under the lamp. That's why right now you have a guest in your small but cozy apartment.

You left him alone on your bed. First of all, it was necessary to find him some clothes. He didn't agree to a sweater made from socks and you had no choice but to go to the neighbors and ask if they have any unnecessary doll clothes. It was the only logical solution you could think of.

Meanwhile, Gojo was sitting on your bed, looking around the room. Despite knowing you for years, he had never been in your place. He knew where you lived ofc, but somehow never wanted to look inside. Now he regretted it.

It turned out that your apartment was very... In your style. A small guest room with a kitchenette, a modest bathroom and your bedroom which, compared to the normal interior design of the apartment, was like entering another world. Literally. Gojo would never have guessed that you were actually a nerd, an otaku. A dresser loaded with books, comics, and mangas, figurines of your favorite characters probably spent all your savings, and your computer was probably the most expensive piece of equipment in the room. If he had known earlier, he would have had a reason to make new sarcastic remarks and jokes. But oh well, they say better late than never.

He teleported to the shelf where you had the figurines. He stood next to Miku Hatsume, he was a bit bigger than her but he still posed like her to improve his mood. He did the same thing posing next to Son Goku pretending to be his opponent. He played like that for a while, but you still didn't come back. What's taking you so long?

It was already light outside the windows, so you shouldn't worry about waking the neighbors. On the other hand, the fact that he has to have some "normal" clothes was your idea. He sighed heavily, now sitting on Deadpool's head. He tried to recall everything he remembered from the moment he shrunk. He was sure there was no curse there and no one with any magical powers. An enemy that can't be detected? Some strong opponent that can break through his barrier? If they really was like that, they would have revealed theyself immediately after his attack and used advantage, but that did not happen. And everyone would already know that something happened to him. But there was no call from anyone, not friend, coworker, student, or anyone else.

Seriously, what are you doing that you still haven't come back? Gossiping with the neighbors? Okay, but for so long? He was bored, he didn't want to think because no matter what, nothing came to mind. He teleported back to your bed where his cell phone was lying. It seemed so big. Fuck it, he'll call you and...

Oh yeah. He destroyed your phone.

Gojo waited and was bored and waited. How much longer are you going to make him wait?! What if you were hurt? The same thing that shrunk him has now gotten to you? You won't defend yourself. You'll die crushed under the boot of some Peter. What if you got hit by a car? Gojo saw you talking and then just banging your head against the pole. He didn't want to admit it, but he felt nervous. Whenever he started to wonder what you were doing, he would simply call you, but there was no such option now.

What if you forgot about him?! Shrunken, left to rot in your apartment?! Maybe he should look for you? He glanced at the clock on his phone; it was already well after noon. Gojo didn't even notice that he was slowly approaching the door, his tail was wagging nervously, he adjusted the scarf he was wearing and swallowed loudly. He'll look for you and then when he finds you he'll blame you for leaving him alone for so long, you'll feel sorry and you'll beg for his forgiveness, and he won't forgive you that easily, no way. You will have to pay the price for your irresponsible behavior. Satoru was already at the door when he heard the key turning in the lock. He quickly jumped to the side, hiding behind the shoe cabinet.

"Hey little one!" You shouted, closing the door behind you.

"I'm not small!" Gojo shouted standing in front of you, he was angry that you left him but he was also relieved that you came back. You smiled weakly at him, you had bags under your eyes. Well, you pulled an all-nighter because of him. And he'd probably even feel sorry for you if you hadn't been late. If you hadn't left him.

"Oh come on, alright big guy I have some information and gifts for you." You said as you entered the apartment with two large bags. Gojo teleported to the couch next to you, stood on it, and looked at you and then at the bags. "I've got clothes for you, a lot actually, I didn't think the neighbors would be so happy to get rid of doll clothes. I even got a little furniture."

"If you think you're going to make me some kind of doll, then..."

"I wouldn't even dare!" You placed your hand on your chest, feigning great indignation, even though it had crossed your mind more than once. "But you know, they were all dusty so I took them to the cleaners. And then I thought it would be worth coming up with some excuse for you." Seeing his surprise, you continued. "You don't really plan on showing up at school like this, do you?"

"No, of course I do! I'll give my students a lesson on minimalism." He replied sarcastically, raising his hands up dramatically.

"That's what I thought too. So I wondered what I could say and arrange so that no one would look for you and at the same time they would accept your absence. Well, I did it. Almost. I mean, you have the few days off from school. It was worse with the elders." You sighed as you reached into one of the bags for a packet of cookies, which You opened and placed between you and Satoru. The men immediately grabbed them. You knew it wasn't anything nutritious. But you no longer had the strength to cook. Gojo crunched the cookie as if he had only just realized his own hunger.

"What did you tell them?" He asked with his mouth full, glancing at you. He was holding a cookie in both hands.

"That you caught chickenpox. You know, you never got sick as a child, but when you catch it as an adult, it's much worse."

"What kind of disease is this?" He asked quite seriously.

"You know, white spots all over the body that itch terribly, fever and a condition similar to the flu. Very contagious among children and one of those diseases that are better to get over." You replied completely unfazed by the fact that he didn't even know about it. "It worked at school, Yaga even gave me some medicine that would help you. And at work, so they won't bother you unless there's a risk of the end of the world." You winked at him, pleased with yourself.

"And these old farts?"

"in their opinion, even if you were terminally ill, you should be at their beck and call. At first they didn't believe me, but I told them that it only took a moment for you to lower the barrier and your immune system has been attacked." You sighed as you took one of the cookies and popped it into your mouth. "I'll have to get you a doctor's note because they don't want to believe it, but I'll worry about that tomorrow."

"Myhym, this gives us some time to find a way to fix me. Good job." He twitched his tail nervously, almost forgetting his anger and boredom, almost. "And it took you this long?"

"I managed to get everything sorted out faster than I thought." You replied indignantly, crossing your arms over your chest.

"I was dying of boredom! By the way, nice room, nerd"

"I'm glad you like it, little one" you replied with a forced smile

"Hey! Well, never mind, let's hit the road to..."

"Oh no my good sir. We'll take care of that tomorrow. I have to go to sleep tonight or I'll faint and who's going to help you? Listen, I'm not as strong as you and I'm already feeling dizzy."

"But the sooner we get this done, the sooner you can rest!" Now he was the one who crossed his arms over his chest, clearly dissatisfied with your answer.

"Where do you want to start? Hmm?" He didn't know. He flattened his ears and pressed his lips together. You were tired, he could see that. However, he would like to be big again. "Let's do this, you give me night to sleep, and I won't force you to do a private fashion show for me. Because you know, I have a lot of clothes and other costumes. I even saw a lolita dress on the bag."

Eventually, you managed to talk Satoru into slowing down for a while. After you ate the cookies, you made some tea and closed your eyes for a moment.

"don't sleep!" Your little companion woke you up from a light nap you had fallen into. You yawned, stretching, and looked at him with a slight smile.

"Okay, time to wash up." With that you stood up and went to the kitchen. Gojo saw you take out a red pot and go to the bathroom with it.

"Do you want me to get in the pot?!" Gojo was now sitting on your shoulder, holding onto your ear for safety.

"do you have a better idea?"

"Shower? Bathtub?" You rolled your eyes knowing that none of that would work. And you only had a bathtub. It's probably true that when a person sees something small and cute, logic turns off and the need to protect the little one turns on. You were simply afraid that Gojo would drown.

"I'm not going to waste water just on you in the tub." You replied coldly.

""I'm not getting into the pot! Forget it! I'll stink but I'm not getting into the pot! NO!"

Next:

[duhragonball]

It's my birthday today, and the local grocery store was thoughtful enough to stock the Dragon Ball Z Reese's Puffs, so I'm gonna try it out. Join me, won't you?

I still can't believe this is real. I mean, Reese's Puffa is kind of surreal enough as it is. It sounds like some satirical brand meant to poke fun at sugary kids' cereals. The box says "Made with REAL REESE'S Peanut Butter", the same way a fruit-flavored beverage will claim to contain genuine fruit.

The bowl on the box art is a Reese's cup, so it basically depicts candy being served in more candy. I'm old enough to remember when they would photograph cereal as "part of a complete breakfast", and there'd be grapefruits and toast and maybe a hard boiled egg. Basically they were admitting that the cereal was so unhealthy that you needed to eat three or four other breakfasts to make up for it. I just liked the photos because they were so picturesque. Ah, to have unlimited free time to prepare a leisurely 4-course breakfast while reading the paper. I just assumed everyone else was having toast with their cereal except my family, but yeah, it never really made any sense.

I haven't even gotten to Goku yet, but first I want to talk about his spoon. I don't think we see him holding a spoon very often. He's usually a chopsticks kind of guy, or he'll just use his bare hands or even dunk his head into the bowl. It kind of looks like a ladle when he holds it like that, which implies he cooked this bowl of candy soup all by himself, and he's showing it off like a proud chef. This spoon kicks ass, is what I'm trying to say.

But the real reason I bought this is because of that orange hillbilly who needs no introduction. I wasn't even looking for Reese's Puffs. It was the furthest thing from my mind. No, I was stocking up on the old-man cereal I require to survive, when I just saw him staring at me, with his friendly-yet-confident smile. Goku's not pressuring you to buy the cereal. He's sure you'll enjoy it, but it's okay if you want to take a pass. He'll just enjoy all this peanut butter chocolate goodness all by himself. Goku is truly the ideal spokesman. How can you say no to this lovable hunk?

I'm kind of out of touch when it comes to cereal marketing, but I'm pretty sure this sort of cross-promotion is a rarity. Like, they once put WWE wrestlers on Wheaties or something, but usually if the cereal companies want a cartoon on the box they'll just make their own character. Or if the cartoon people want to put their guy in the cereal aisle, they'll just commission a whole new cereal just for that brand. C-3PO had his own cereal for a while. It was pretty good!

What I'm saying is that it's kind of unusual to see a popular character like this on a cereal box. The only exception I can come up with is Fred Flintstone on Fruity and Cocoa Pebbles, but I always assumed that those were specifically "Flintstones Cereal".

Other than that, yeah, I can't think of any other examples of cartoon characters appearing on unaffiliated cereal boxes like this. Well, I drew my DBZ OC on a box of All-Bran today, but I don't think that counts.

"MY FIBER IS MAXIMUM, KAKAROT!"

I wondered what was up with the picture of Piccolo on the back of the box, and it turns out that he's one of seven different characters you can find on the back of the box. Collect them all! Aw man, that Cell one looks fucking sick! I don't know how they distributed these. Maybe they roll them out in waves and Piccolo's came first. Or maybe it's random and I might have found a Cell if I'd checked more boxes at the store. Well, Piccolo's pretty good. I guess.

All right, I just poured myself a bowl and Goku's cereal is gonna have to set course for Planet Oat. The dairy industry may not applaud my shopping choices, but I like oat milk because it doesn't spoil as quickly as cow milk, and it's got a nice oat-y flavor that compliments the cardboard taste of All-Bran.

I did not put Dawn liquid soap in my cereal. This time.

So what's the verdict here? Well, the first few bites were pretty tasty, and then I realized I was getting kind of sick of this as I made my way to the bottom of the bowl. The peanut butter flavor overwhelms everything. It has a very strong odor, so if you like Reese's peanut butter cups you can just sit this out in your room and savor the aroma. I barely registered any chocolate flavor at all. I mean, I believe they put it there, but the peanut butter is the whole story to this.

It's basically Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs from Calvin and Hobbes, only this is a special Peanut Butter variant they made. I never really appreciated the jokes about sugary cereals before. I grew up on Frosted Flakes and the like, but there were a certain class of cereals that my mom would just refuse to buy. My grandparents would have them, but I never really understood the difference between Frosted Flakes and Honey Smacks. As I got older, I ate less cereal in general, but that was mostly because I fell out of the habit of eating breakfast altogether.

But now I'm 47, and the only cereal I eat these days is bran topped with diced peaches and a couple of packets of artificial sweetener, so Reese's Puffs is way, way too sugary for my palate. It's not bad, but a little goes a long way for me.

When I was a kid, old people were always griping about all the stuff they couldn't eat anymore. I remember Isaac Asimov writing mournfully about how he couldn't have an Oreo cookie, which bummed me out because that was my favorite cookie back then, and it seemed that the fate of all humanity was to be denied the simple pleasure of enjoying them.

Now, I realize that a lot of the stuff that you liked as a kid just doesn't age up with you. Your tastes change, and you gain appreciations for new things that you wouldn't have appreciated before. That's not a bad thing. It's life. Things change, and you change along with them.

Well, you and I do, anyway. Not Goku, whose Saiyan biology keeps him looking exactly the same for sixty years so he can eat all the sweetened corn puffs he wants. But I don't envy him, is what I'm trying to say. I'm watching a wrestling show on PPV tonight, my mom took me to Cracker Barrel for lunch today, and I drew on a cereal box. I can't complain.

[crepes-suzette-373]

Locked and Coded

Galaxy brain hyper overthink, kind of wildly off base SaNami-tinted (re)interpretation of the Sunny's fridge password.

Now in AO3!! [link]

🍊๑♡๑🍊

When Sanji told Nami the fridge's password, hearts in his eyes and a goofy grin on his face, he told her it was their secret.

She humoured his comments, inwardly thinking she would've figured it out herself eventually, even if he hadn't. She may not use her cat burglar skills quite as often, but they were still top notch. Besides, that password is very typical Sanji, anyone who knew him well enough should be able to figure it out.

7326. Nami - Sanji- Nico Robin.

Naturally, she wasn't surprised that Robin also knew the password.

It's a good thing that the only person who was in any way invested in trying to sneak past that lock, namely their ever-hungry captain, could never piece that together.

One day, Nami was working on her charts in the dining table, and right on cue Sanji swayed by to bring her refreshments. It didn't escape her that the drink and snacks were carefully selected and placed to minimise risk of drops, crumbs, and spills. So thoughtful as always, and it made her smile.

A curious thought floated in her mind as he was twirling away.

"Sanji-kun, if Vivi joined our crew instead of Robin, what would the fridge password be?" she asked, "Or if another woman joined us?"

He stopped, then he looked to her with a perplexed expression and asked back, "Why would it be any different?"

There was an oddly poignant pause that prickled at Nami, but then Sanji had already turned back to the kitchen, and the moment passed.

That was kind of a weird answer, she thought idly, and he didn't even ask her if she was jealous. She shrugged it off, though, and went back to her charts. Their crew was perfect as it were, and he probably meant he never considered anything different.

Except that for days upon days, the subject kept popping back in her mind and wouldn't let her go. It's ridiculous how simple numbers could bother her thoughts so much, and yet there she was, wondering what's so special about the password time and time again.

Determined to get her peace, Nami marched to the kitchen to ask. She'd braced herself for any awkwardness (or even gushing from his part), knowing that there were all sorts of implications coming with her having dwelt on the issue for so long.

Surprisingly, for all his usual stream of sweet words, he was actually quite evasive about this one. It took a lot of wheedling before she managed to get him to giver her answers.

7326. "Nami and Sanji's lock".

Nothing in all the four Blues could have prepared her for that, nor how intensely her feelings reacted to it. She could feel her cheeks burning, and was certain her face had taken the hue of boiled lobster. Every second of silence was punctuated by her heart thudding so hard in her chest, she thought she could feel the reverberation in her fingertips. Her mind raced for something to say, but what does one say in response in this situation?

Something suddenly exploded outside, followed by a lot of yelling. Glad for the interruption, they both rushed to check on whatever havoc had been wreaked on the deck.

Then, even later, she found that Robin was never told the password. Robin had puzzled it out herself. Sanji really had meant it when he said it was their secret.

For weeks after that discovery, Nami couldn't look at that darned lock and the ship's resident cook without blushing (and thankfully, nobody seemed to notice).

🍊๑♡๑🍊

The standard reading for the 7326 password is 73 for Nami, 32 for Sanji, and 26 for Nico Robin (2 is ni, 6 is roku but represents just the "ro" sound here). I reinterpreted the roku as "lock" (rokku) for this story based on this one time I saw this funky splash ad for a Japanese book or event where "goku" was romanised as "gock" in alphabet.

[ashsmack]

Farewell, Toriyama

The year is 2012. Quite the eventful year, the London Olympics, Hurrican Sandy, Obama's re-election. None of which I cared about at the time though, I was just a midget 6 year old. What I did care about, though, was a box of magic one of my friends owned. To me, a source of endless wonder. To the rest of the world, a PS2.

Predictably enough, every time we visited his place, we would always be gaming, to the point that our parents would constantly be nagging us to go outside (some things never change), but the allure of these games kept me captivated. And yet, one game called to me like none other. I knew nothing about it, not the story, not the characters, nothing of the source material. This game was named 'DragonBall Budokai Tenkaichi 3' and little did I know, I was about to introduced to a universe which would go on to bring me unending joy for more than a decade to come.

Admittedly, discovering DB through one of the games isn't really recommended, probably one of the worst ways to get into it especially considering the spoilers and how confusing it gets. Despite all this, the scene where Goku faces off against Frieza, where he turns Super Saiyan for the first, gave me literal chills. I've watched this scene time and time again throughout the years and it has never once failed to fill me with awe. I ended up watching DB every day, after school for like the next 6 years. I watched the entirety of Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, Dragon Ball Z Kai, Dragon Ball GT, and Dragon Ball Super, which I watched weekly until it ended around 2018. I've watched every DB movie till date, ending at DB Super Hero which I watched about October last year.

Having written all this out, it really does sound nuts. I started watching Dragon Ball at the itty bitty age of 6, and here I am today, writing this as I stand on the cusp of adulthood. 12 years DB has stayed with me. Like Goku (although without the weird Saiyan ageing), I've grown. I've made and lost friends. I've been stuck within my own shell, and I've broken free. I fought depression, and while depression fought back hard, here I am, at my best. Quite unlike any man, whether friend or family, DB has been there for me throughout. Whether it was entertainment I needed, or a distraction from my problems, there it was, as absurdly cringey and stupid as it sounds.

Over the years, DB has taught me many things. The immeasurable value of friendship for one. Another, is the way even proud Prince Vegeta redeemed himself, find himself married and now in fatherhood. The biggest lesson it taught me, however, was the power of determination. To never back down, to never just settle for what you think you're capable of, to always be working to surpass your limits. While ofcourse I never ended up with blonde hair, for me it helped me break out of my shell and start improving myself, something I will forever be thankful for.

While I don't claim to be the biggest DB superfan, the franchise holds an immeasurable, irreplaceable place in my heart.

As the news of Akira Toriyama's tragic passing reaches us today, I hope he knows that he has woven the fabric of countless childhoods, just like mine. His work and influence will never be forgotten, and his name will reside in all our hearts.

Rest in Peace, Akira Toriyama.

[dballzposting]

Two things that are really so interesting

Number 1: Korin is a cat but the cat gimmick really doesnt go far. By and by, Yajirobe is much more of a cat than Korin is.

Yajirobe is like a stray cat that comes and goes and always smells bad and eats all the food. And once in a blue moon he'll let you touch him. But he's exclusively solitary. And he snores. And he brings fleas. And he hides from all danger. And hes really quick and sharp when he needs to be. Hes a perfect cat really

Number 2: Cats can be very cuddly but what's interesting is that both of these cats are very hands-off.

Korin is a cat but hes an old hermit first and foremost. Dont fucking touch him. In fact you literally cant. When Goku went up there to acquire the secret water that would make you stronger, it turns out the water wasnt real, and actually his attempts to swipe it from the cat WAS SECRET TRAINING. You literally cant touch this cat. And if you CAN, then the training is complete. Congratulations <3 This cat makes training out of how elusive he is.

Yajirobe is also very solitary and you cant fucking touch him either. He'll bite you. He'll eat your ass like corn on the cob

Cat Behaviors That We WON'T See Out Of Korin even though he's a Cat and so it's a little Sad to Me The Viewer who wanted to see Cat Things:

- If you're asleep and he wants you to wake up, he won't say anything, he wont headbutt you, you wont cover your nose with his paw: He'll just hit you. Really fast and hard. With his stick. WHAM. Or maybe it's more of a CRACK. It would be funny if he combined these methods however. Like if he stands there and headbutts Yajirobe and when Yajirobe still doesnt wake up then Korin just hits him. His expression or affect dont change at all. This is business as usual

- Does he even mark his scent on things. I mean with his cheek glands not his pee. Maybe. He doesnt mark people though. Becasue he is very hands-off. Even though it would be funny. (Marks Yajirobe's ankle before going to the mall so that they wont lose each other ...)

- Is there a litter box up there ... This cat is not very cat-like in the way that he cleans his own litterbox.

- Does he even have a scratching post. The only wood I saw up there was his hermit stick. Does he scratch that at all

- He's really just not very cat-like becasue the gimmick just doesnt run far into his character. That's all I'm saying

Cat-like Things that Yajirobe Does:

- Pees on things to leave his scent

- I don't really think he does that.

The fact that they're both solitary and hands-off is what makes it special for us viewers when they do physically interact. Like when that stray cat finally lets you pet it.

But it's moreso about the comedy and their ability to relax.

Yajirobe is pretty feral and animalistic so we see cat-like behaviors out of him pretty readily; growling, swiping your paws away from his food, sleeping all day, scrambling about, hiding in corners, standing tall over his territory, etc.

What's engaging is if we could see Korin get down on the same level. He clearly has the potential too, weve seen him do some pretty immature things and exercise creature-level priorities (when he thought that Yajirobe was hiding treats so he tore his clothes open to find them, all the times he's yelled at him, etc...). Hes a wise old cat hermit and like any good hermit he's connected to his most primal levels as well as his higher faculties (how could you be perceptive and wise without first knowing how to read your body, read with your body, harnessing its wisdom?). Old hermit characters always have a childlike whimsy to them in at least one way, and it's for comedy purposes I'm sure, but also because that ability to be spontaneous and goofy comes with the territory. A healthy cat is a playful cat. A healthy human retains his childlike wonder. You know how it is

So Korin could probably do cat things. He has the self-awareness to contain his impulses, so he doesnt HAVE to chase the ball you just threw, but it seems like it would be a fun thing to do right now, and the stakes are low, so he'll do that.

But hes also pretty old and gets bored soon enough.

I think that he could tie a toy to the end of his stick and Yajirobe would end up trying to catch it. Hes like "tch... I'm not chasing that cat toy ... what do I look like to you?" And Then 6 minutes later Korin dangles it over the edge of the tower and Yajirobe is shoving his hands theiugh the bars trying to grab it .

This would work better with food I reckon. I think we can all agree that Korin could dangle a mutton chop over the edge of the tower and Yajirobe would launch hinself off of the tower in order to get it. And he'd plummet to the earth but at least he got his mutton chop ❤

They cuddle like cats sometimes also but they're mostly hands-off so it's really a sometimes thing. But physicality is importsnt (especially when you're sitting in a tower all day? What sort of engagement do you even get.. ) so they're hands-on sometimes.

ALSO: Korin Tower is the second tallest tower in the world. Of course it is inhabited by a cat, an animal who enjoys high vantage points. Yajirobe is an honorary cat and he repeatedly chooses to stay there, like a cat repeatedly going to the top of the cat tree. It All Makes Sense

[thisurlwasnttakenbutnowitis]

Every Epic Rap Battle of History Ranked, Part 2

Part 1

57. Genghis Khan vs Easter Bunny

Winner: Easter Bunny

Best line: "The Great Wall couldn't keep you out of China. Watch me rub my foot for luck and stick it right up your vagina!"

Okay, okay, this is probably higher than it has any right to be, but damn it, I just love this pairing. You have a historical warlord famous for his brutality battling with a peaceful holiday icon for kids and I think the contrast is hilarious. It's nothing spectacular, but this has to be my favorite of season 1's "two completely random characters with no relation" battles.

56. Wonder Woman vs Stevie Wonder

Winner: Wonder Woman

Best line: "My rhymes are signed, sealed, and delivered on time. You're a bald has-been, I'm in my Amazon Prime!"

While I was always aware of Stevie Wonder's music, this battle actually made me look into it and appreciate it more. I love the touch of how Stevie's music style in this is a mix of his own as well as that of his actor, T-Pain. Also the quote above might just be one of my favorite lines in ERB history - I LOVE when a line can manage to mix in wordplay that relates to both rappers. Mwah, chef's kiss.

55. Master Chief vs Leonidas

Winner: Master Chief

Best line: "300 asses need a kickin'. Give more teebags than Lipton."

We're in the section of the list of good battles with nothing to really complain about, but also with nothing spectacular so there's not really much to say. I'm not a Halo guy so some of the references went over my head - I didn't get "You're the solider they need you to be" until looking it up just now, and yeah, that's a pretty funny line that I didn't appreciate when I was younger. It was also a good call to have Lloyd still be the voice of Leonidas but cast an actual muscular man to be the body actor; we definitely didn't need another Hulk Hogan muscle suit situation.

54. Goku vs Superman 

Winner: Goku

Best line: "There's only one way that this battle's gonna end: One more Superman who's never gonna walk again."

Ray William Johnson was a great casting choice for Goku; he brings a lively and memorable performance to the show. Although I didn't think Goku was quite so angry? Idk, I'm also not a Dragon Ball guy (forgive me for being such an uncultured swine and not knowing a lot of these series). Lloyd's Superman is pretty basic by comparison; it gets the job done, but it's like Sinatra vs Mercury where it gets overshadowed hard by the other performer.

53. Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney

Winner: Mitt Romney

Best line: "Republicans need a puppet and you fit. Got their hand so far up your rear, call you Mitt."

Man, remember when we thought Mitt Romney was the worst the Republican party could throw at us? Simpler times, man. Simpler times. This battle is the most-viewed in ERB history, which I think is kinda weird since I feel like people were way more into the 2016 and 2020 elections overall. But this was also the first election battle, and when ERB was still a relatively new series, so maybe it was the novelty of it at the time. Or maybe because Obama and Romney were both more well-liked than Trump, Clinton, and Biden. I dunno, I'm getting off-track here.

I thought for years that this battle was pretty well-balanced in terms of not showing favoritism to one side, though I thought Romney's line "I'm not gonna let this battle be dictated by facts" was a pretty biased writing choice. But it turns out that that's almost a direct quote from Romney himself, so uhh. I also love how both opponents break down into slinging childish insults at each other by the end, it really goes to show that it's not glorifying either candidate. And that's proven true by the iconic scene of Abe Lincoln coming down and bitchslapping them both. Classic.

The real Obama is known to have seen this battle too and apparently liked it given that he invited Peter and the actor who played Obama here to the White House, so that's neat.

52. John Wick vs John Rambo vs John McClane

Winner: John McClane

Best line: "And lighten up, Wick, with your brooding saga. How 'bout a little hakuna matata, Baba Yaga?"

This is the first and so far only battle that's a three-way fight from the start, so that really ensures that all three characters are given ample time to all diss each other. I like it! The highlight here is definitely Lloyd's McClane, he's a delight to watch, and he perfectly captures how McClane is the lighthearted everyman of the group. Zach's John Wick is no slouch either, capturing the cool seriousness of the character. Where this battle falls flat though, and the only reason it's not in A, is Peter's Rambo. It's trying to be funny and it's just… not really funny. It's the kind of Sylvester Stallone impression that would get a chuckle out of you if your high school friend did it in the halls, but it just feels out of place in a professional production like this.

I love the subtle ways the backing track changes between characters too, with McClane getting some sleigh bells added in for his part, Wick getting a deep synth noise, and Rambo getting some somber strings. Really nice stuff.

51. Artists vs TMNT 

Winner: TMNT

Best line: "Uh, Dona-tell me who you are again, dude, 'Cause I don't Gattamelata clue what you do."

My only complaint about this battle is that it's just too damn short. This would be a pretty short battle even by 1-on-1 standards, but when you have 8 separate characters, each one barely gets anything to say. But what's here is great. Rhett and Link and Smosh is a good pairing that gives a lot of energy to the artists, and the turtle suit that the team managed to make for the TMNT is great. When the only negative I can think of for a battle is that I wish there was more of it, you know it's a good battle.

A TIER

50. George Carlin vs Richard Pryor 

Winner: Joan Rivers

Best line: "Now there's seven words you can't say on a TV set. But this is the pissin' fuckin' cuntin' internet!"

I'm realizing now how much work this entire thing is given how much I've written so far and we're only just now cracking the top 50. Still not even halfway there, damn. But anyway, this is a great tribute to a whole bunch of legendary comedians. It's a whole lot of fun to watch, and every performer captures the larger-than-life personalities on display. Lloyd's Robin Williams is a particular highlight. The only downside is Bill Cosby's part, it's not really funny and kinda just kills the pace. But it's thankfully short so it's not enough to ruin it.

49. Mario Bros vs Wright Bros

Winner: Wright Bros

Best line: "You might fly like a hawk, but you fight like a kitty!"

This was the first guest appearance of Rhett and Link and also the first 2-on-2 battle, and I think it does a really good job. Mario and Luigi are played absolutely nothing like their actual characters, but it's so far off that it's honestly hilarious.

48. David Copperfield vs Harry Houdini 

Winner: David Copperfield 

Best line: "My grand illusions make your parlor tricks irrelevant. The foot of Lady Liberty is stomping on your elephant."

Now THIS is a magician vs magician battle that actually lives up to the idea visually, eat your heart out, Gandalf vs Dumbledore. While Houdini is definitely the more interesting person to watch in this battle with all of the stunts he performs while rapping, I can't help but like Peter's silky smooth Copperfield voice, it's gotta be one of my favorite voices he's done.

47. Eastern Philosophers vs Western Philosophers

Winner: Eastern Philosophers

Best line: "You tried to plant a new German psyche, but you just grew hate, me no Third Reichy!"

This is a very smartly-written battle, as it should be given the subject matter. Every philosopher gets a chance to sum up what they're all about, and the contrasts work perfectly - Lao Tzu's philosophy of letting life take you through its natural course vs Nietzsche saying you need to take control and fight for the life you want, and Confucius's teaching of respecting authority vs Voltaire's challenging of authority. …Socrates vs Sun Tzu doesn't really have a direct contrast like that, but hey, that's okay. You can tell a lot of research went into this one, and it's really worth looking into the meanings of the lyrics because some of it will definitely go over your head if you're not super into philosophy.

46. Blackbeard vs Al Capone

Winner: Al Capone

Best line: "You spent time in Alcatraz, I'm sure you were fine, if you dropped the soap as little as you drop dope rhymes."

Both Peter and Lloyd were clearly having fun with this one, they're both in their element when they're playing characters with big personalities and fun voices to imitate. The lyrics are great and dense too; this was the first battle of season 3 besides Vader vs Hitler 3, and I think season 3 is really when the series started hitting its stride with rappers' verses becoming longer and more packed with deeper meanings.

I only have two minor criticisms with this battle - first, Blackbeard's beard looks way too nice and clean, and it's especially apparent when Capone has a line about how dirty it is. Second, this video was sponsored by Assassin's Creed IV, which is all well and good, but forcing in a line about Edward Kenway and having him physically appear in the background really destroys my suspension of disbelief and dates the video hardcore. But neither of these things are enough to ruin an otherwise very good battle.

45. Rick Grimes vs Walter White

Winner: Walter White 

Best line: "Ask Gus, you don't wanna face off against me."

Okay, so, confession time: I have not watched either of the shows that are represented in this battle (Breaking Bad is on my to-watch list though). And oops, this vid's got a lot of spoilers for both series. Ah well. Despite not knowing a whole lot about either universe, I still think this battle is a lot of fun to watch. I particularly love the detail of a zombie crossing into Walt's side and getting distracted by meth - touches like that to tie the worlds of the two rappers together are always a treat.

44. Darth Vader vs Hitler

Winner: Hitler

Best line: "You stink, Vader. Your style smells something sour. You need to wash up, dog. Here, step in my shower."

Here we go. While Lennon vs O'Reilly might have come first, I think we can all agree that this is the real start of ERB. This is what made the series into a viral sensation and it's not hard to see why. The novelty of seeing a historical figure battle his fictional equivalent in a rap battle of all things was something unseen up until that point, and it helps that the lyrics were incredibly clever to boot - in addition to the iconic quote above, who could forget "So many dudes been with your mom, who even knows if I'm your father". I'm sure Disney would like everyone to forget that the Stormtroopers were named after Hitler's troops, but this battle stands as an eternal reminder of that fact.

43. Mr. T vs Mr. Rogers

Winner: Mr. Rogers

Best line: "I'll say this once, Laurence. I hope it's understood: Get right back in your van and get the fuck out of my neighborhood."

Peter's acting here is pretty similar to how he portrayed Bob Ross, but his portrayal of Mr. Rogers easily wins in my mind for how much more savage the insults are. Even though Rogers definitely steals the show here, Mr. T also manages to be very entertaining. It's hilarious how he's screaming at Rogers the whole time while Rogers consistently keeps his cool while hurling passive-aggressive lines.

Also, whew! We're officially halfway done with this list!

42. Jacques Cousteau vs Steve Irwin

Winner: Steve Irwin

Best line: "I'm a wild man, you're a subdued sub dude. The only crocs you could handle are some slip-on shoes!"

This battle's an interesting role reversal - usually it's Lloyd portraying the grumpy character and Peter portraying the lively one. But it goes to show that the two of them have the acting chops to go either way. Especially Lloyd, he's really entertaining when he can let his silliness out. I love how in the part where Steve is pointing to Jacques and talking about him like he's a wild animal, you can tell Peter is holding in laughter.

41. Tony Hawk vs Wayne Gretzky

Winner: Wayne Gretzky

Best line: "You and I have so many world records between us. 184, that's plenty of 'em… and I set 183 of 'em!"

This is a very slept-on battle, being the lowest-viewed of any of the pre-hiatus battles (though 18 million views still certainly ain't bad). I still remember my first time watching this battle as someone who didn't really know anything about Wayne Gretzky aside from "he was a hockey player", my jaw fucking dropped at that world records line. Absolutely killer setup and execution.

40. Jack the Ripper vs Hannibal Lecter

Winner: Hannibal Lecter

Best line: "I don't mind that you're naughty, Jack. I hate that you're sloppy."

I can't imagine that this one was particularly easy to write for given the very little we know about Jack the Ripper. I was gonna say, "Oh this battle was made before we knew his true identity", but apparently it's still not really agreed upon who he really was and the mystery gets "solved" again and again every few years. Anyway, Lloyd is great as Hannibal, his faces and mannerisms are perfect, and Dan Bull provides an interesting interpretation of the type of person Jack may have been. I love that Jack spends his entire first verse purely hyping himself up and Hannibal calls him out on being a narcissist, it's something that kinda shocks you as a viewer cause it's something you probably don't even notice on the first viewing, and you're also not expecting the video itself to point it out. It really sells the "Hannibal is one step ahead" kind of vibe.

39. Vlad the Impaler vs Count Dracula

Winner: Vlad the Impaler

Best line: "Imagine forests of corpses dripping on a buffet. You call that a nightmare? I call that a Tuesday."

Vlad the Impaler is probably the single most cold, brutal character ERB has ever had, and Lloyd gets some truly bone-chilling line deliveries in as him. Peter's Dracula is great too, the whole thing of a killer with class being disgusted by a killer who's just trying to be vicious actually makes it quite similar to Jack the Ripper vs Hannibal now that I think about it.

38. Babe Ruth vs Lance Armstrong

Winner: Babe Ruth

Best line: "So c'mon, little buddy, don't look so pissed. With all that blood and attitude, you're like a menstrual cyclist."

Like Hawk vs Gretzky, this is another athlete vs athlete video, and you'd expect the odds to immediately be stacked against Armstrong by virtue of the fact that you have a known cheater going up against an athlete with integrity. But Armstrong actually manages to put up a damn good rebuttal, taking shots at Ruth's personal life instead. I still think Ruth won, but both rappers actually manage to knock it out of the park, pun entirely intended.

Also unrelated to the battle itself but I've always thought the face Lloyd makes in the thumbnail of this one makes him look like James Rolfe.

37. James Bond vs Austin Powers

Winner: James Bond (modern)

Best line: "After 24 films, I'm still reaching new heights. Your third movie died, guess you only live twice."

I've always kinda wondered why Peter was cast as Austin Powers in this, I think Lloyd looks a lot more like Mike Myers. I guess they didn't want to have a battle where Peter is completely excluded while Lloyd gets to play two characters. That being said, Peter does nail the Austin Powers impression, so it's all good. This battle's a really cool concept, a character rapping against their own parody version, and then an earlier version of the character comes in and disses on their modern version. The battle does basically cease to be about Austin Powers at that point, but I think it works because neither version of Bond considers him a serious opponent.

This battle is loaded with great lines too - in addition to the quote above, we also have "I'm licensed to kill, you couldn't get a learner's permit", "Spell my name, all the ladies wanna B on D, any sex appeal you might have is beyond me", "I only need one round, golden gun", and "I don't need a Q to break your balls". Brilliantly clever writing.

I will say that the background effects for modern Bond, while they definitely do look cool, are a bit too much to the point of being distracting. Maybe it was a deliberate choice to contrast with classic Bond though, as a way to convey that the modern Bond films are a lot more about flashy spectacle than the more grounded stories the early films had, I dunno. 

36. Mozart vs Skrillex

Winner: Skrillex

Best line: "I attack, you decay, can't sustain my releases! Sidechain, Wolfgang! Bangarang you to pieces!"

This battle is everything that Bieber vs Beethoven should have been - a battle between a modern musician and a classical one that actually gives the modern one a fighting chance. Plus it actually changes the background music to match the style of whoever's rapping! This battle is great, no real notes here. Mozart's line about "in two more months the world will forget about your Skrill-excrement" has aged pretty well too given how Skrillex's star has definitely faded since this video's release.

This battle is also notable for being the only one where a real person that was portrayed in an ERB has actually performed it themselves! Skrillex, obviously, not Mozart. The real Skrillex actually came out as a surprise guest appearance in a live performance of the song and helped Lloyd finish it out. I admit, I didn't really know what Skrillex actually looked like, but seeing him side-by-side with Lloyd in costume, yeah, the team nailed his look.

35. Ragnar Lodbrok vs Richard the Lionheart

Winner: Ragnar Lodbrok

Best line: "Your son killed your ex, your ex killed your wife. I'm the Lion King, man, but that's a messed-up circle of life."

This is what I love about ERB, man. I had never even heard of either of these historical figures before this battle, but I watched it, loved the song, got curious what all the lyrics meant, did research on both men, and then went back and rewatched the video with the new knowledge to catch all the references. ERB is truly at its best when it's making learning fun.

Interestingly, the reason this battle was even made in the first place was because the mobile game that sponsored it reached out to Peter and Lloyd and asked if they would make a battle between two of the historical figures in their game in exchange for the sponsorship. Given that the battle was effectively made as an ad for a mobile game, it's shocking how good it turned out. You'd really never know that's how it came to be just looking at the end product.

34. Darth Vader vs Hitler 2

Winner: Darth Vader

Best line: "Roar like Chewbacca, the voice of Mufasa, I'm on the leader of your limp-dicked Luftwaffe!"

And here we go, the second of the Vader vs Hitler trilogy is easily the best one. I feel like it struck the perfect balance - it was bigger and more epic than the first while not feeling fatigued on the idea like the third. Season 2 kicked off with this and you could immediately tell the jump in production quality from season 1. This video had an intro and everything, continuing off from Hitler being frozen in carbonite from the first battle. It's great, what else can I say?

33. Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe

Winner: Marilyn Monroe 

Best line: "You still got no children after your third marriage. You lost so many babies, we should call you Miss Carriage!"

This was the first battle where neither Peter nor Lloyd play one of the rappers, even though it is not the first female-on-female battle (but we don't talk about Gaga vs Palin). But both performers do a stellar job; I love how Marilyn's demeanor goes from the giggling flirtiness we know her for to becoming increasingly pissed off and hysterical as Cleopatra hurls more and more insults at her (Marilyn's "Translate this into hieroglyphs: Your sandy vagina has a seven-year itch" would have won best line were it not for the sheer brutality of the Miss Carriage line). And getting a professional dancer to portray Cleopatra was a great choice; she's still one of the most visually interesting rappers to have ever been on the series. And no, I don't just mean that in an ogling way.

Also, I think this is the only battle where the same person starts it and closes it out? Which does lead to Cleopatra feeling like she doesn't get as much screen time, but it's certainly not a dealbreaker.

32. Moses vs Santa Claus

Winner: Moses

Best line: "It takes nine reindeers to haul your fat ass. You took the Christ out of Christmas and just added more mass."

This battle was definitely meant to be a stand-in for Jesus vs Santa; that was the matchup we all really wanted to see. But someone somewhere must have gotten cold feet about dissing a figure that millions worship, so Jesus got swapped out for someone Jesus-adjacent. Hey, I'm a Christian, and I know I still would have found a Jesus rap battle hilarious.

But whatever, even though it's not exactly what we wanted, what we did get was still great. The fact that they actually managed to get motherfucking Snoop Dogg as a guest star because he happened to be using the same studio as ERB at the time still blows my mind; I don't think any guest star is ever gonna top that. And they certainly had some fun with having him on board - I love that they managed to make jokes referencing him while still being appropriate for Moses, like "smoking all that burning bush", or "so much drama in the IsraeL B.C.". This is a battle that just always puts a smile on my face.

31. Nikola Tesla vs Thomas Edison

Winner: Nikola Tesla

Best line: "I don't alternate my flow, I diss you directly!"

I love how this battle really leans into how we now perceive Tesla and Edison, with Tesla being a hero for the people and Edison as the greedy villain who kept him down. Good stuff. Don't really have a whole lot to say about this one, it's just a good battle with two very memorable personalities, and Peter's Tesla voice is very pleasant to listen to. And of course, the electric synth in the background track was a must.

30. JRR Tolkien vs George RR Martin

Winner: George RR Martin 

Best line: "All your bad guys die and your good guys survive. We can tell what's gonna happen by page and age five!"

All right, so, I ain't the most well-versed in the fantasy genre, but I still really like this one. The underlying argument between the two men here is something I've seen time and time again on the internet - "happy endings are boring and predictable" versus "eschewing happy endings just for the sake of it isn't automatically good". It makes for good battle fodder. Also I just love Lloyd's performance here - it's so loud and boisterous, and his "No he didn't!" is A+.

Okay folks, click here for the third and final part as we rank the best of the best!

[adenthemage]

[crashes in with a wholeass questionnaire]

💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now?

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises?

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

-- Trauma :)

HI TRAUMA 💜💜💜

💌 -> sweats. Like. Cumulatively? Cuz I think between all my email addresses it's easily over 2,000

🍄 -> thinks way too long for ships that I like. OKAY GRIMMONS. So, my pal Galaxy and I have had this concept for Red Team Spanish Club where the only members are Lopez, Locus, and Grif, right (Donut thinks he counts but he also thinks his spanish is better than it is.) I feel like Simmons would get a little frustrated at not being able to tell what Grif was talking about with the others, and would try to learn spanish just to join in. It could be considered a romantic gesture, but they both know he just didn't want to be left out. (The way he reveals that he's been learning is by asking Grif "ever wonder why we're here?" but in spanish)

🍬 -> this will get me bitten in certain circles but. I think the "bad dad Goku" thing is a compelling character beat for him. I get that most proponents of the idea mostly use it to bash him, so I understand the frustration. But I think you learn a lot more about a character in their failings, and I think it makes sense for Goku to struggle to meet expectations in this facet of life, given his own unusual upbringing and his sometimes cheerful obliviousness. I also think it adds an interesting layer to his familial relationships that could be really fun to explore.

Actually, I think in general a lot of those next gen "the previous protag is not a great parent turns out" tropes can be really interesting. The problem is that oftentimes those narratives don't explore it in the way it's begging to be explored, so audiences come away feeling the character they love has been disrespected. But that's just my two cents.

🏜 -> I love when people point out little details they caught, and especially if there's an implication they read into for it, intended or not! But any and all comments are beloved!

🐚 -> I like surprises! As long as it's not a sudden schedule change loL

🧩 -> reader inserts are an instant no from me, deeply sorry reader insert writers 😔 Related, but I also have a hard time with first person for whatever reason. I can and have read some very good ones, but it's a lot harder to get into them for me. If there aren't enough paragraph breaks so it's a wall of text, I struggle to get through that, too. I am too adhd for that lmao

[sofya-fanfics]

Don't Worry, I Watch Over You

My Comfortember 2022 contribution for the prompt : Pass Out.

I’m sorry for the mistakes, English is not my native language. I hope you like it.

Summary : Bulma rushed to turn on the computer screen when she heard an explosion. It had been strong enough to shake the whole house. The Gravity Room had been built to be proof against any kind of explosion. But with Vegeta, you never knew. The smoke cleared and she saw the Saiyan lying on his stomach on the floor. She was furious. It was not the first time she had told him to be careful and stop before he caused any damage. But he never listened to her.

Disclaimer : Dragon Ball belongs to Akira Toriyama.

@comfortember​

AO3 / FF.NET

Bulma rushed to turn on the computer screen when she heard an explosion. It had been strong enough to shake the whole house. The Gravity Room had been built to be proof against any kind of explosion. But with Vegeta, you never knew. The smoke cleared and she saw the Saiyan lying on his stomach on the floor. She turned on the microphone. Now what has that idiot done ? She was furious. It was not the first time she had told him to be careful and stop before he caused any damage. But he never listened to her.

“Vegeta !” She raged. “How many times did I tell you to be careful ? You almost blew up the house !”

Vegeta did not answer and remained lying on the floor.

“Vegeta !”

That's strange, Bulma thought. Something must have happened to him otherwise he would have yelled at her a long time ago for bothering him.

“Vegeta ! Answer me !”

Still no reaction. Bulma ran out of her lab and headed for the Gravity Room. She entered and rushed towards him. He was passed out. Bulma sighed, relieved. At least he was still alive.

******

Bulma sat on a chair next to Vegeta's bed and stared at him. He was still unconscious. He had exhausted himself training, until he fainted. She knew the threat from the cyborgs was serious, but that was not a reason to exhaust himself so much. She had checked his constants and they were good. He should wake up any moment.

She had managed to bring him to his bed thanks to Yamcha who had come to pick her up for dinner. In the end, she canceled their date to stay with Vegeta. Yamcha had been upset and left angry, but she did not care. That'll teach him to have canceled their date last week to go out with another woman. Yamcha had assured her it was just a business dinner, but Bulma was not stupid, she knew that was a lie. After all, it was not the first time he cheated on her. She had always forgiven him, but she was getting tired of it.

As time went by, her feelings for Yamcha had changed. He was her first love and he will always have a special place in her heart, but what she felt for him now was the same friendship she had for Goku or Krillin.

As for Vegeta, her feelings were still a bit unclear. Since he was living with her, she had gotten to know him and he was not the monster she thought he was. He was not always easy to get on with and even if he hid it, she had discovered that he was a good person. It was still too early to know if she was in love. But she could not wait to find out. Vegeta slowly opened his eyes.

“You finally came to.”

Vegeta looked at her, wondering what had happened.

“You pushed yourself too hard during your training and passed out.”

“I have to go back to train.”

He tried to get up, but Bulma stopped him and made him lie down. She knew he let her do. He was much stronger than her and if he really wanted to, he would already be up.

“Don't worry,” Bulma said. “I watch over you.”

“I didn't ask you anything.”

He turned to the other side of the bed. Bulma could not help smiling. It was his way of thanking her. As for Vegeta, he felt appeased by her presence, like every time he was with her. Who would have thought that the prince of the Saiyans would have fallen in love with a human ?

The end

[saiyan98]

Estelle and The Mark of Arachnid: The Trident of Poseidon (Chapter 5)

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

Chapter 5: Sam Gets Her Epic Anime Moment.

Alternate Sites:

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Disclaimer: The following is a non-profit, fanbase series. Percy Jackson and the Olympians; Heroes of Olympus; Trials of Apollo; Kane Chronicles and Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard are owned by Rick Riordan. Spiderman or any concept of him are owned by Marvel Comics and Sony Entertainment. Please support the official releases.

So, at this moment, I’m pretty much useless. Because of my fever, I don’t even have the strength to get up. So I have no choice but to watch my best friend hold on to her dying father. While that’s happening, The Vulture was laughing sinisterly. 

“Stop laughing, you freak!” I yelled in anger.

“Oh you foolish mortal. Can’t you see? This is the curse of being a half-blood, no matter how much they struggle, the people they care and love are the ones that suffer.” 

Sam was trying to stop the bleeding, but it’s not working. The wound was too big and too much blood was spilling. Mr. Stacy was dying and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. At this moment, Mr. Stacy seems to be saying something to Sam, but he was too weak for me to hear it. The Vulture flies up in the air, ready to attack. 

“Time to die, Halfblood!” She yelled. 

As she swoops down, Percy suddenly flies out of nowhere and clashes with the harpy. They both fall to the ground. I hear Percy groaning in pain. 

“Percy?!” I yelled. 

“Should’ve known it was an ambush,” He replied. “Where’s Sam?” 

I pointed towards the Stacy’s, and as I did, Sam looked at me. 

Her eyes say it all. 

He’s gone. 

Percy notices her expression and curses in an ancient language. Then the Vulture pins Percy down from behind. 

“You insolent brat!” She yelled. “Always getting in the way! Always ruining our plans and forcing us to hide in the shadows!” 

Percy tries to escape from her grip but fails. The harpy claws out Percy’s back. He screams in pain. I screamed out to him as I tried to get up; but once again, I was too weak to even move. I don’t know why I’m getting this fever, but it’s a really bad time to lose most of my strength! 

“Time for you to die, Percy Jackson!” Vulture yelled. 

Just as she was about to do the finishing blow on Percy, a bullet flew past her face, leaving a scar on her face. She grunts in pain and lets go of Percy. 

“Who did that?!” She yelled. 

We all looked at where the bullet was shot at, and we saw Sam holding her father’s gun and the knife I had a while ago. 

“You're fighting me, bird freak!” she yelled. 

Vulture snarled at her, “You? How can a mere child hope to stand against… wait…” She squints her eyes as she takes a closer look at Sam, “Your eyes…”

I looked at Sam and saw what the Vulture was seeing. Sam’s eyes were glowing. As I said before, Sam has gray colored eyes that are just full of curiosities and wonders. Now, they’re glowing, shiny like silver but fueled by anger and sorrow. It’s kinda like how Goku goes Super Saiyan; or Rose using her silver eyes; or… basically like how every anime character activates their powers for the first time. 

“No matter!” The Vulture once again flies up and swoops down to attack Sam. However, Sam miraculously dodged her attack and slashed her talons with the knife. The harpy screeches in pain. Sam was being relentless, she was somehow dodging all of her attacks and was counter attacking with her knife. She wasn’t using the gun, but I believe she was just saving ammo to finish off the Vulture. 

As Sam was dealing with the harpy, Percy was getting back up and was about to join the fight when we suddenly heard a loud roar. Percy cursed in silence and saw a big figure charging through and ramming towards him. Percy managed to dodge but barely. He grabbed his pen that was in his pocket and uncapped it, turning it into a sword. Percy gets back up and continues fighting the big guy while Sam deals with the Vulture. 

I’m honestly at shock; not only is my lovable and dorky brother is being a total badass, but my best friend who is a total otaku (don’t judge, anime is getting popular lately) and a nerd on history and myths is standing up against a highly experienced flying bird person. Either I’m now hallucinating, or I have underestimated my family. 

Sam continues dodging and slashing down the Vulture, but is only doing minimal damage. Makes sense, but just because she has some ancient power that’ll most likely be the start of another Shonen anime, does not mean she’s instantly an expert. What do you think this is? An Isekai Anime? Anyways, despite Sam holding up, she’s still no match for the Vulture. After only a few minutes of them constantly fighting, Sam was being overwhelmed by fatigue and the harpy’s relentless attacks. 

Panting, Sam was cornered. 

“Your temper tantrum is over, little girl!” The Vulture yelled. She lifted one of her talons and attempted to attack, but Sam anticipated and dodged it, then aimed her father’s gun and fired at her. The bullet flew past her, but left a small scratch by her cheek. The vulture then left a swift kick toward Sam at the stomach, knocking her out. Sam landed right next to me, groaning in pain. 

“Sam!” I yelled weakly, “Stay down, just get to the gate, I’ll be okay!”

Sam slowly gets up and grabs the knife on the ground. 

“No!” She yelled, “I’m not losing anyone else because of me! You want me, you flying freak? Come get me!”

As the Vulture was panting from their fight, I saw Percy also struggling with his fight against the big guy himself. Whoever this guy is, he definitely knows Percy’s fighting technique. I muster up all the strength I have as I slowly get up, but my fever is really wearing me down, like I could pass out at any moment. But I can’t.  I need to find a way to help them in any way possible. 

“Percy!” I called out.

“Estelle! Get Sam inside camp! I’ll hold them off!” Percy yelled, unaware that I’m not feeling well and can’t do much to help Sam. 

“But Percy-”

“I’ll be fine, go!”

I know he’s lying, but I ain’t got much of a choice at the moment. I called out to Sam.

“Sam! We gotta go!”

“Not yet! Not until I kill her!” Sam replied. 

“Sam! That’s not you,” I said. “Your dad wouldn’t want this for you! He wants you to live a normal, happy life!” 

The Vulture continues her relentless attacks. She would either fly up and swoop down to attack with her claws; use her wings to attack on the ground or simply throw some of her feathers at Sam. Most of her attacks don't lay a scratch on Sam, but she’s wearing out fast. Probably because she never did this much exercise in the past. Remember, she’s an Otaku nerd, not an athlete. Or maybe, it has something to do with those silver eyes. You know, how in anime where the main character uses their abilities for the first time with recklessness, only to wear out fast and lose the fight? Yeah, something like that. 

Okay… I gotta convince Sam to stop making me watch anime. It’s ruining both our views in reality.

Suddenly, Sam was kneeling down, panting from dodging and attacking the Vulture. She was already wearing down from the fight already. 

“Sam!” I yelled. 

“You lose,” The Vulture said, kicking Sam towards me. She dropped both the knife and gun far away from us so we have no way to defend ourselves. 

Meanwhile, Percy was managing to keep his head up and focused on his fight. The big guy was losing his breath. No doubt, Percy is actually winning. 

“Why can’t you just stay down?!” Percy yelled. 

The big guy growled. 

He then punched Percy, making him fly towards us. 

Percy groaned in pain. 

“Okay, that really hurts,” He said.

The three of us stayed closed as the Vulture and the big cloaked man walked towards us. But now that I got a good look at his front side, I noticed he has horns popping from his hood. I can only think of one creature with such a horn. But it can’t be… right?

“It’s over, Percy Jackson!” The Vulture yelled. “Give up!” 

Percy still has his sword on his hand, but he’s worn out from his fight and so was Sam. Plus, her weapons are tossed to the side. And what’s worse, the two are blocking the entrance to the camp, so now we can’t even get to safety and call for help.

“Now, time for you to-”

As the Vulture was gonna attack, a sudden buzz was heard from nearby. The vulture then responded toward her ear.

“Master?” She responded. She was nodding and listening to whoever was behind her earpiece. Which, may I remind you, I just noticed right now. Was that always there? And if so, was she just following orders from someone else? And by whom?

“Understood,” The vulture responded and looked at her partner. “Change of plans, our boss wants Percy alive. The rest we can dispose of.” 

The big guy growled and nodded. 

“Who wants me?” Percy asked. “Who do you work for?!” Percy yelled. 

“Nothing for you to know, Jackson. Just know that you are very lucky that my master wants you alive,” The Vulture says.

“What, Percy has a fan club of his most hated enemies?” I asked. 

“Oh, you have no idea.”

The Vulture walks closer to them as Percy gets between.

“You leave them alone!” Percy yelled. 

“I don’t think so,” Vulture replied. “You are important to my master, but the girls made this personal now. Never have I lost my prey in all my life.”

I scoffed, “Yet you managed to fail to stop all three of us.” 

“Perhaps… but you won’t be alive to tell anyone.” 

As the two monsters walked closer to us, an arrow flew past the big guy. It came right behind us, and as we looked behind us, what I saw was even more shocking. I swear, I saw dozens of these spartan looking warriors, wearing armor and wielding spears, shields, and bows. Suddenly, a tall man walks up front from behind the group. As he appears, I realized something… he has a horse body underneath his torso. A horse butt. 

Yeah… let’s add that in this pile of crazy reveals. 

“You two! Leave these kids alone, or you face my campers!” 

Vulture snarls then replied, “Chiron… mark my words, your camp will burn along with these warriors. My master will ensure it!” 

The Vulture ordered the big guy to retreat, as they both walked back towards the shadows, she spoke to Estelle. 

“We will meet again, sister of Percy Jackson.”

“The name is Estelle. Estelle Blofis,” I replied. 

And the two disappear to the shadows. 

Several of those warriors ran towards us and tended to our wounds. The man with the horse body, I believe his name was Chiron, spoke to Percy. 

“Percy, are you okay?” he asked. 

“Been through worse, but…” Percy looked towards Mr. Stacy’s corpse. “We lost a good man.”

Sam collapsed, as if all of her energy was just used up and she didn’t notice until the fight was over. Of course, I’m no different. 

“Hey, Percy?” I asked. “I… I don’t feel so good…” 

I suddenly started to lose consciousness as Percy called out for me. The last thing I saw was him running towards me as several of those warriors grabbed onto me so that I wouldn't collapse on the ground. 

And then everything turns black. 

You want to know something crazy? I don’t dream, at all. Seriously, everytime I go to bed, I close my eyes and then wake up the next day. No dreams or visions, nothing. It’s like time just passes by and I don’t notice it. 

This time… I had a dream.

I can’t really describe where I was; only that it was dark and secluded. At the other end of this room, I saw these three hooded elder ladies, weaving something. Hard to tell what it was as it weaved endlessly towards the darkness. 

I slowly got up and asked, “Where am I?” 

The three ladies did not answer, instead they continued weaving. I noticed something though; they seem to be weaving some unique colors of threads. As I look towards the end of their threads, I see several sweaters and shirts with names on them. Most of them I recognized instantly and some not yet. However, the majority of these shirts were unfinished. But… the ones that were finished had names I am unaware of. There were names like Charles Beckendorf, Silena Beauregard, Luke Castellan and more; but there was one name that really grabbed my attention for some reason. It was a purple sweater, unfinished and tossed to the side and had a hole on the spot on the chest, where the heart would be. It didn’t have a name on it.

I don’t know why it piqued my interest, but for some reason I felt grief and sorrow for it. It’s as if it was meant for someone. 

“Estelle Blofis…” 

One of the ladies spoke and was pointing upwards. I looked up and saw a spider hanging by the light on the ceiling. It came webbing down towards the unfinished clothes and did something unexpecting. It began using its webs to seal up the holes on them. 

“It seems,” One of the ladies said, “You have taken a path that shall defy fate itself, Estelle Blofis. Would you use this gift for yourself? Or for others?” 

I didn’t understand what she was saying. 

Gift? Defy fate? What does that even mean? 

“Perhap time shall tell…” She said as the room began to darken.

Then I woke up. 

I groaned as if I didn’t get enough sleep due to me staying up and watching some anime Sam recommended. Don’t deny that you have done this before. 

“Estelle!” I heard a voice. I looked ahead and saw Percy, wearing some shorts and an orange shirt that had a logo and name on it: CAMP HALF-BLOOD. 

I replied, “Percy? Where am I?” 

“In the infirmary at camp. After you passed out, we took you here to heal. You had a pretty bad fever during the fight.”

“How long was I out?” I asked. Percy was quiet for a moment and then replied.

“About two days.” 

“TWO DAYS?!” I yelled. I then rapidly started asking questions about The Vulture and her partner, Percy and Sam’s health and… about Mr. Stacy. 

Percy was able to explain everything to me. The campers took us here to heal and recover from Vulture’s attack. As for Mr.Stacy… They buried him nearby and gave him a proper funeral yesterday. 

“I should’ve been there for Sam,” I said. “It was my fault… I should’ve done something to help.” 

“It’s not your fault, Estelle. He knew how dangerous this life is, so he did everything he could to protect her daughter. Mom did the same for me, and Annabeth and I would do the same for our kids.”

I sighed, “But all that Sam had was her dad. What is she going to do now?” 

Suddenly, Sam emerges from behind Percy as she enters the infirmary. 

“Stella! You’re okay!” She yelled as she jumped on me and hugged me. 

“Sam…” I couldn’t say anything. I just held her and she let out all of her emotions. 

“I was so worried, I thought I’d lose you too!” She said, crying out on my shoulder as she held onto me tightly.

After what felt like a few minutes of crying, Sam picked herself up and joined in on the conversation. Percy explained how the campers healed our wounds and saved us from the Vulture and her partner. Percy explained to me how I was having a nasty fever and that I was sweating pretty bad. I miraculously survived, but there was no explanation for my sickness. I wasn’t hit by any poison or cursed at all, whatever that means.  He explained to Sam why he brought us here.

“Sam, your father and I brought you here because it was the safest place for you to be. You see, your blood is sacred and brings danger to yourself. Your father did everything he could to protect you from this. If you knew, our enemies would pick up your scent much faster.”

“And where are we, exactly?” I asked. “What is this camp?”

“This is Camp Half-Blood. A safe haven for half-bloods like me and Sam,” Percy answered.

“Half-bloods? What is that?” Sam asked. 

“Demigods, Sam. Demigods.”

Sam and I gasped. 

“I understand this is a lot to take in but-”

“I’m like Thor?!” Sam yelled in excitement. “Can I do some awesome god powers like him? No wait, what if I’m like Bell from Danmachi?!”

Leave it to Sam to always talk about anime and movies. To be fair, it is a good anime, don’t mind too much about the… plot.

“Not like that, Sam,” Percy said. “It’s a lot to explain, so as soon as Estelle is ready, I’ll take you girls to the big house. Chiron will be there to help explain it better.”

“Chiron?!” I yelled. “You mean THE Chiron? The friendliest and wisest Centaur in Mythology?!” 

“Oh yeah, I forgot how much you both were into Mythology. I guess this will be pretty easy to explain. Anyways, I brought you some extra clothes for you to wear in the meantime, Estelle. It’s by the chair next to you, Sam and I will wait outside.” 

After that, Sam and Percy got up and left the building. On the chair next to me was an Orange shirt and shorts. My sneakers were there too. Afterwards, I got up and changed. I thought about what my dream was about and why I even had it in the first place. I don’t dream, at all. And what did The Vulture and her partner want with Percy? Who was their master? Well, whatever it was, it’s not good. All I know is that Percy is involved, and even though he’s such an overprotective dork, he’s still my brother who’s also a father and husband. And Sam is all alone now. She needs me. 

Whatever happens from this point on, is my choice. I don’t know where this life will take me, but I won’t abandon my friends and family. Whatever this life holds for me, I will have to face it. Even if it’s a living nightmare.

And so, I stepped out of the infirmary.

[nella09archive]

Marriage. 38

Chapter 38: Home Cooking

“Come on Gohan. I need to make sure you’re 100% ok. Don’t hold back.” Good, I like the power behind that punch. “Very good. Now listen up. You be good to mommy, and don’t give her any trouble.”

“Yes, daddy. When we come back, can we go camping again?” I couldn’t help but smile at that. Even though I felt slightly sad that we miss our yearly trip, I definitely look forward to our next.

“Ok, but mommy gets to come.” He nodded at that, and gave me a big smile. With that he left the room with Ox King. Chichi waited till everyone left, before he approached me. She looked worried.

“You sure about this? We finally became a family again, and now he’s leaving again.” She then begins to cry. I hate when my Chichi cries. I wish I could hug her, and make all her pain go away.

“I don’t like it either, but…” I really don’t know what to say. What could I say to make it better? Then I remembered! What if Bulma’s dad fixed MY ship, and when I’m heal, I can go get Gohan. “Hey.” She looks at me. “Remember where I told you grandpa found me?” She nods. “Maybe the ship, I was sent in, is around there. Maybe Mr. Brief could fix it, and I could get Gohan after I’m healed.” Her face lit up at that. You mean it! “Yeah! Then after that we can all stay home.” My wife loves that idea. So much so, that she’s dropping kisses on my face. Everywhere but where I want her lips to be. She then stops and is about to walk away. “Hey!” You’re being a meanie butt! You better come back here! Or what? She’s giggling. Oh, she’s going to get it.

…

Oh, she’s going to get it. No, I’m not. That was payback for that little comment the other day. Once I made it home, I noticed how independent my Gohan was behaving. He grew so much during that year. He didn’t even need my help to get out of the car. “Gohan.” He looks at me from the front door. “Before you even think about training, or going off, you have to do all your missed homework.” He looked ready to argue back, but instead he held his head down and agreed. “If you finish more than half before dinner, you can have an hour before bath time.” He lit up at that. Now he was bouncing around me, to hurry and open the door. The moment I did, he almost knocked me over, running to his room.

He really is like Goku, so silly. When they get permission to do something, they just lose the meaning of patience. Now to get a hand on dinner. I had already precut everything, so all that’s left is the cooking. I wish Goku was here, that way everything would be absolutely perfect. I then automatically touch the bitemark. After finding out that he was an alien, I started wondering if this was the equant of a wedding ring. If that was the case, then this is even more special than I first thought. But there’s nobody to ask these questions.

Once dinner was done cooking, I went in search of my baby. When I entered his room, I saw the most heart shattering scene. He was holding the blanket I made for him, and it looks like he had cried himself to sleep. My poor baby. Was he trying to be a big man at the hospital? Is that why he didn’t cry. I couldn’t hold it in anymore, either. I held me baby, close to my chest, as I began to sob. I sobbed for the fact my baby wasn’t a baby anymore. I whaled for the fact I couldn’t protect him. And I angrily cried that I couldn’t turn back time, and stop this from happening. MY BABY BOY! MY FAMILY!

…

I’m finally home. After a year away, I’m finally home! Mom wants me to study, it makes me sad, but that’s ok. When I entered my room, all thoughts of cheerly jumping on my bed left. There was something new in my room. I went to go pick it, and see what it was. It was a blanket, and it had hearts, and my name. Also, my favorite teddy bear had a blanket around him. Mom made these. She even when out to make one for teddy. Mommy is the best mommy every. Uh? There’s something written on the heart. “Mommy, Daddy & Gohan forever & ever.”

But it almost wasn’t going to be a forever and ever. Daddy died, and I wasn’t with mommy. I was dragged into a fight. I saw daddy’s friends die. Daddy? Daddy almost died a second time. I lost daddy once, and I was going to lose him a second time. No! NO! NO! NO! What if I lost mommy too? NO! NO! NO! I won’t let that happen! Daddy! I’m scared! Mommy! I’m so scared! Mr. Piccolo said I was strong; that he taught me everything he knows. But it doesn’t feel that way. I’m only a kid! I’m not supposed to be fighting! Mommy was right! But I can’t stop now! I have to do what I have to do! Once everything is done, I’ll be mommy’s good little man— No! I’ll be mommy’s good little boy. I have to be brave for both mommy and daddy. Even through I’m scared.

Uh? Why is mommy crying? I try to give her a hug. Mommy isn’t allowed to cry. “Mom, are you ok?”

“I am, with you hugging me.” She’s smiling, but she still looks sad. “Come one now, dinner is ready.” Oh no! I didn’t do my homework. “I’ll still give that hour. Only if you sleep in my bed tonight.” I nod at mommy. I want to sleep in her bed tonight, anyway.

…

My son is home. My Chichi has Gohan back. Sad that I can’t join them. At least, Chichi left flowers. Seeing my Chichi again feels so wonderful. Hearing her voice, smelling her scent. I wonder what she cooked for dinner today. Gohan is so lucky, cause this hospital food taste horrible. Is it me, or were my friends cold to Chichi? They seemed almost scared to be in the same room with her. I really need to find out why. Oh, speak your wish and it shall be granted. “Hey you guys.”

“Is Chichi around?” Perfect.

“Why you ask?”

“She’s one scary lady. How do you even put up with her?” “Yeah, Goku. She doesn’t even want to let Gohan come with me and Krillin to Namek. I don’t see what’s the big deal. He is your son after all.” “Yeah. And she sure makes him study so much.” They started laughing among themselves.

“She just worries a lot. And Gohan is very smart. She just wants to keep him challenge.” It’s very simple.

“Yeah right. If she worries so much, why didn’t she worry about you? You’re her husband, and badly hurt. Some wife.” Bulma doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

“If so, may I ask something?”

“Sure bro. Ask a way.”

“So, what happened during the year I was dead?”

Bulma went on about fixing Raditz scooter. How she got everyone together, to train under Kami. And this nonsense about new clothes. Plus, how mad she is that I, nor Chichi, invited anyone to MY wedding. Not Chichi’s fault; that was my choice alone. Krillin went on and on about his training Kami and the guys. Master Roshi… I don’t even want to think about that. But I did notice not one of them mention anything about Gohan or Chichi. That leaves me to wonder, how did Chichi find out I was dead? Did anyone even try to stop Piccolo? Did anyone even cared to save my son? I was getting very annoyed of not knowing.

“So, who told Chichi?”

“Told Chichi, what?” And they call my stupid.

“Who told Chichi that I died?” I notice how they all looked at each other, not one stepping forward to speak. I’m getting very impatient. “Can someone speak up already!”

“I told her. And that you let Piccolo train Gohan.” What is Master Roshi saying? Did he really tell Chichi I let Piccolo take Gohan? No wonder Chichi is mad. That’s when I notice that Krillin was shaking and backing away. I told everyone to get out, except for Krillin.

“Tell me what happened, and don’t lie to me.” He told me how Piccolo just took Gohan; that he was too scared to fight back. He told me how everyone argued on who was going to tell Chichi, but no one stood up. Nobody even answered the phone when she was calling. How she went to them the next day, looking for me and Gohan. How she was choking Master Roshi, so he could tell her what happened. How she threaten Krillin to keep a watch on Gohan. And if he was in danger, to bring Gohan to her. My poor Chichi. “Krillin.” He looked at me, with shame in his eyes. “I’m going to need the biggest favor.” He nodded. “Please keep Gohan save for me. After all, he’s still a kid.”

“I’ll try my best Goku! I won’t fail you.”

“Good. Now get out.” He looked stunned, but he did leave, slowly. Bulma was the only one who came back in. “What do you want?” I was in no mood to speak to anyone.

“Look, Goku.” She placed a hand on the edge of my bed. I don’t like this. “As a long-time friend, I’ll do this one favor. I’ll pay your medical bills. And I’ll make sure all your records are top secret. I just want your permission to keep those records.”

“Why?”

“Who wouldn’t want to study alien DNA. Just think of it as your payment.” I agreed. But when she left, I felt slightly uncomfortable. Bulma does what she wants anyway, so why did she tell me this? Something really bugs me about that. Well, tomorrow Chichi and Gohan are going to come visit me. Maybe I’ll get lucky and get to kiss Chichi’s lips. I wonder if she’s asleep yet. Chichi? Goku? I’m giving Gohan a bath. So, don’t say anything funny. I just wanted to say I love you, and that I want to hear, what you did during the year. You’ll find out tomorrow. Oh, and Gohan has been practicing. Practicing what? Hi, daddy! Hi, Gohan. Now you two get plenty of sleep. Can’t wait to see you both, tomorrow. With the thought of that I finally fell asleep.

…

Dad sounded so proud of me. I too, want to know what mom did during the year. Mom’s packaging a bag of food. Dad going to be so surprised! And it looks like some of it is dad’s favorites. I’m also glad mom said I could visit Krillin too. Now what book do I want to pack? I finished both math textbooks, history, basic science. Oh! I know which one.

Once we got to the hospital, mom had asked a nurse if she could get a wheelchair. Saying something about going to the roof for fresh air. We were so happy to know that we could do that. Once on the roof, mom found us a spot with lots of space. “So, Goku. Gohan has something to show you.” Mom looks so proud saying that.

“Really? Lets see!” Dad sounds so excited. I started to feel a little nervous now. I hope dad likes it. I been working very hard. I went to the middle of the clearly, and got into stance. “Wait!” I was surprised, but I kept my stance. “Right leg a little more out. I said out, not back. Shoulders down. Ben knees a little more. Too much. Ok. Ready. And. Start.” This actually feels more relaxed and stable. Why didn’t Mr. Piccolo tell me this. Anyway, I started to go into the motions. I started to realize with the adjustments my form seem to go more fluent. Once I stopped, I looked over to dad. He looked so proud of me. “That was very good Gohan. Did you learned that all on your own or Piccolo taught you?” Mom looked mad the moment Mr. Piccolo name was mentioned.

“No, daddy. I taught it to myself. I remembered the book mommy showed me, and how you did it when you were home.” Dad looks unbelievably proud.

“Come here and give daddy a hug.” I tried to be as gentle as possible. “I’m so proud of my little man! You did a great job!” Even mommy was praising me. It almost felt like how it was before. Mommy, daddy, and me so happy, and telling me I did a good job. I’m so glad I showed dad.

…

I was so surprised when the nurse came in with a chair, with wheels. They said something about fresh air, and that got me excited. I was able to sit more and even walk a little, but they still made me stay in this damn bed. Now me, Chichi, and Gohan were on the roof, spending time together. Gohan showed me his kata that he was practicing. There were some flaw in his stance, and I tried to correct as much as possible. Also flaws in his whole movement, but sadly I couldn’t show him how. Either way, I’m so proud of my Gohan. He’s so talented and smart. Maybe I could ask Krillin to do a few corrections, while they on their trip. Disappointed it won’t be me, but I want him to be as ready as possible.

Then Chichi surprised me with her home cooking. I just knew I smelt something yummy coming from her, but she always smells yummy. She was feeding me, as Gohan read his book. He then would tell me what’s he’s reading, and it was about space. “Trying to get ready for your trip as much as possible, I see.” We all laughed.

Then we listened to what Chichi did all year. How she cried all night before she found out about my death. How she threaten Krillin, and trained and tried to find Gohan. Also, how strong she was in keeping hope that we will all be happy, once everything was done. My Chichi is truly perfect, and the real strong one among us. Gohan hugged his mommy, and even cried. “Come her hon.” The best I can, I placed her on my lap and gave her a hug. Now my Chichi was crying. “It’s ok. We’re here now. And when Gohan comes back home, we really will be together forever and ever.” I kissed her forehead. Gohan then got on Chichi’s lap, and hugged us both. He began to cry too.

NO! My family isn’t allowed to cry! I tried to hold back my own tears, and hug them tighter. My baby boy! My wife! My family wasn’t supposed to be hurt! They only should be happy! Without realizing it, tears did find their way down my face. I only realize I was crying when both, Gohan and Chichi, wiped the tears away. My job is to protect and make them happy, yet it feels like I failed them. No more!

…

Daddy’s crying! Oh no! Daddy never cries!

My job is to protect and make them happy, yet it feels like I failed them.

“No daddy! You didn’t fail! You did everything you could! And that’s all we can ever ask for! You’re the perfect daddy!”

…

Goku! My Goku. This really did a number on you as well. My tough guy finally letting it out. My job is to protect and make them happy, yet it feels like I failed them. That’s not true Goku!

“No daddy! You didn’t fail! You did everything you could! And that’s all we can ever ask for! You’re the perfect daddy!”

“Exactly Goku! Now come on tough guy. Show us the smile that says everything is going to be ok!” He tried to.

“I really don’t deserve you two. But I promise I’ll do everything I can and more to keep both of you safe and happy!” He then gave us his starry smile. Me and Gohan gave it back to him. We then enjoyed basking in each other’s company.

“Hey!” Goku had covered Gohan eyes, and was giving me that look. I couldn’t deny him this. I grabbed his face, and gave him the biggest heart-warming kiss, I could muster. We then just sat on the roof for a bit longer, till Gohan asked if he could visit Krillin on his own. I was going to tell him to wait for me, but Goku insisted he take nimbus. Once he left, Goku didn’t let go of me.

“Goku.”

“No. I want more kisses. I wanna kiss your boo boos away.”

“Goku, let go of me.” As I tried to get away, he was able to land a lick on my neck. That felt good. It’s been so long. Then a thought occurred. Since we were on the roof, and Gohan wasn’t around. “How badly you want to kiss my boo boos away?”

“If you couldn’t tell by now, then use your hand.” He was smirking. My hand started rubbing down his muscular chest, and when I reached my goal, I was very surprised how hard he was. I gently grabbed him. “Ah. Please. I miss you.” He started kissing my neck. The roof is very opened, but I also miss him.

“Let’s find a shadier spot first.” He was happy with that.

[db-gochifan]

GoChi Winter Event 2022 - Day 3

Days [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]

Title: Dinner Night Pairing: Goku/Chi-Chi Characters: Goku, Chi-Chi, Gohan, Goten and Misaki (OC) Summary: Chi-Chi is unsure of going out with baby Misaki so soon and the Son family have a Christmas dinner together. Cross-posted on AO3 and FFN

Chi-Chi checked on baby Misaki and fixed her blanket, holding her tighter against her chest. Then she looked up at the three boys in the circle. “I’m still not confident about doing this. She’s so tiny.” “It’s going to be fast, I promise.” Goku assured her and they exchanged glances. “It’s better than going by car in this freezing weather.” “That’s a really good point. Do we still have to go, though? I’d rather stay in tonight.” “Bulma is waiting for us. They are all anxious to meet Misaki.” “I’m sure they will understand if we change our minds in the last minute.” She was almost begging them. “What do you think, Gohan?” “Hmmm…” The fifteen-year old boy folded his arms across his chest and closed his eyes for a moment. “I’m really on the fence here. Both you and mom have very good points.” “That’s not really helping.” “I want to go.” Goten shared his opinion. “I want to see Trunks.” “So we have 2x1. You three can do celebrate with them if you want. I’ll stay here with baby Misaki.” “You’re going to stay here on your own on Christmas’ Eve?” “Yes. Not on my own, though. Misaki will be with me.” “I can stay.” “No, Gohan, I don’t want your night to get ruined because of me.” “Mom, it’s okay. I didn’t feel like going anyway.” “Alright, if that’s what you really want. I can make something for us. It’s not gonna be anything typical from Christmas though. Can you take care of your sister for a while?” “Sure.” The mere thought of eating Chi-Chi’s meal was enough for Goku’s stomach to growl rather loudly. He grinned and turned to Goten, kneeling down to be on his eye level. “Son, why don’t we stay in tonight? I know you miss him, but you can see Trunks another day. I promise I’d take you there.” “But dad…” “This is important to your mother. Your sister is very little yet, so it’s not good for her to be out there in such cold weather.” “But I have a Christmas present for him.” “We have another reason to go to the Capsule Corp in the next days.” The youngest Saiyan glanced at his two-month old baby sister and then to Chi-Chi. “Okay.” **** “I think it’s easily -10ºC outside.” Goku said after he walked in. “I couldn’t get many vegetables unfortunately. There’s only ice out there. Everything is frozen.” “It’s okay, that should do it. Thank you.” “Do you need help with anything? Cut some stuff maybe?” “Ah… yeah, sure. You can cut some carrots and tomatoes.” “I can do that.” He walked behind her to get to the other side of the sink. “Thank you for staying in tonight.” Chi-Chi whispered and then glanced over the counter. “Do you think Goten is upset for not going to Bulma’s party?” “It’s very likely, but he will get over it soon, once he gets his present.” “I hope so.” She bit her lower lip. “Either way, I should go talk to him. I can tell he’s been feeling left out since Misaki arrived.” “Well, he used to be the youngest one and now things changed.” “That’s true. But still, I don’t want him to think I don’t love him anymore or any less because of his sister.” “I’m sure he knows that deep down.” “Yeah.” “Oh no.” Goku grabbed her forearm softly. “Are you crying?” “I’m sorry, I can’t help it.” Chi-Chi let go of the knife and covered her face with her hands. “I feel so bad for him. I’m a terrible mother.” “Don’t say that, you’re an amazing mother. You did a wonderful job bringing our sons up. They are good boys because of you.” “Goku.” She looked at him and blinked a few times before drying her tears. “Thank you.” “You’re…” “Mommy?” Little Goten tugged on her pants and they looked down at him. “What is it, son?” Chi-Chi knelt down, so she could be on his eye level. “Do you need anything?” “Are you crying?” “No, sweetheart.” She shook her head and smiled warmly at him. Then she stretched her arms and picked him up, standing up again. “Everything is okay.” “Hey, Goten.” Goku’s voice echoed and the boy looked over his shoulder, grinning as wide as he could towards him. “Mommy and daddy are making dinner. How about you help us?” “Goku, I really don’t think it’s…” “Can I really?” He looked at Chi-Chi looking for approval, but he could barely hold his excitement. “I suppose it’s okay.” She placed him on the counter. “As long as you don’t touch any knifes or other things that can get yourself hurt or cut you. I know how you can be very curious sometimes.” “Okay!” He said cheerfully. “Do you want some carrot?” She offered him a small piece of the vegetable and Goten quickly grabbed it, shoving it into his mouth. “Can I have another one?” “Yes!” “Here you go.” She gave him another piece and he looked at Goku, swinging his little legs back and forth. “How do you say it again?” “Thank you, mom.” “You’re welcome, darling.” “Goten, daddy needs to cut some tomatoes. Do you want to help me?” “Sure!” “Don’t let him get near a knife, Goku.” “Don’t worry, I’ll watch him the whole time.” He picked the boy up and placed him near where he was. “Meat! Can I eat some?” “You’re definitely a Saiyan.” Goku couldn’t help but laugh. “Huh?” “Not yet, Goten. It’s raw, we need to cook it first.” “Ah.” He seemed to be disappointed, but kept on swinging his legs happily. “You don’t have to wait much longer, sweetie.” Chi-Chi came with a themed plastic glass with grape juice and handed it to him. “In the meantime, you can drink this.” “Thanks, mommy.” “Wow, Chi-Chi, this is one of the best meals made by you that I’ve ever had.” Goku leaned back on his chair and threw his head backwards, rubbing his stomach. “People can try, but no one else cooks like you.” “Thank you, Goku. That means a lot, considering we did it in the last minute. I don’t take the entire credit though. Each one of us helped a little tonight. So I want to thank you all.” “You’re welcome, mom.” Gohan replied beside Goten. “I also want to apologize for not having enough time to prepare a dessert.” “Hey.” Goku rubbed her arm softly. “We didn’t plan on staying in tonight. You did your best with what you had.” “I know, but you know me.” Chi-Chi looked at him. “I like getting the whole thing done.” “I do know it. But hey…” He looked around. “We’ve got fruit. Yummy and healthy. It’s perfect.” “You’re out of this world, you know that?” “Quite literally.” He laughed it off. “My favorite outer space human.” She touched his forehead with hers briefly. “But I don’t think we have enough fruit for everyone.” “It’s okay, I can get some.” Gohan pushed his chair away and stood up. “I can do it, Gohan. You don’t have to worry.” “It’s very cold outside, mom.” “Actually, why don’t you let me take care of Misaki and Goten while you go get more fruit?” “You want to take care of them on your own?” Chi-Chi raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Of course! It’s just for a few minutes, I can totally do it.” “Alright then.” She stood up. “Gohan, I want to go too.” Goten jumped on his big brother. “Goten, it’s really cold for you to go outside at this time.” “I can handle it.” He insisted. “I’m also a… Sai… Sai… what does daddy say again?” “A Saiyan.” Goku said, clearly enjoying the situation with his little replica. “That’s right, you are. And a strong one.” “Yes! I can help you.” “Okay, okay.” Chi-Chi gave in. “But you need to put on very warm clothes first.” “Got it.” “Come on, I’ll help you.” Gohan teleported to the second floor, to their bedroom. They arrived just in time as her voice echoed around the house. “I said no teleporting inside the house!” **** “The snow is really dense. I can barely walk on it.” Chi-Chi tried to reach the orchard area of the house. “Come on.” Gohan stretched his hand towards her while holding Goten’s leg over his shoulder and she took it immediately. “Uh… mom?” “Yeah?” “What happens if the fruits are frozen and we won’t be able to eat them?” “I guess I didn’t think about it. If they are frozen, we won’t be able to eat them. I’m sorry for making you two come out here for nothing.” “It’s okay, mom.” Gohan turned around to go back inside. “Son, can we talk for a moment?” Chi-Chi held his forearm and looked at him with pleading eyes. “Sure.” “I never really asked you how you feel about Misaki and having a sister.” “How do I feel about it?” “Yeah. I’d like to know your feelings about it.” “I feel good about it. It’s good to have another girl in the house, for a change. There’s been only one until a few months ago.” “That’s true. But this isn’t about me, I wanted to make sure you weren’t feeling left out. And also to let you know neither me nor your father love you any less because of her.” “I know, mom.” He smiled reassuringly to her. “Good.” She fixed the collar of his jacket and looked into his black eyes. “I’d also like you to know that you can come talk to me about anything, okay? Anything at all.” “Thank you.” He put his arm around her and she buried her face on his jacket, leaving wet stains on it. Gohan rubbed her back until she stopped crying and sobbing. **** “Goten and Misaki finally fell asleep.” Goku walked into the living room, only to find Chi-Chi filling some socks that were hanging on the fireplace with candies and small gifts. There was a soft and warm smile on her lips as she thought about how excited Goten gets during Christmas time. She could barely wait until Misaki was old enough to understand things. “What are you doing?” “I’m stuffing things in these socks so the kids can find them tomorrow.” “That’s really cool.” He grinned. “Do adults get one too?” “You want one?” “Yes! I mean, if I can have it.” “Sure, of course you can have it.” Chi-Chi looked at him and smiled. “In fact, I was already filling one up for you.” “You were?!” “Of course. We’re all children at heart.” She said in a warm tone and resumed her task. “Everyone in this house deserves a sock on Christmas.” “Can I get mine now?” “No, Goku. I’m sorry, you’re gonna have to wait until tomorrow like everyone else.” “Ah, that’s not…” He saw her disapproval look and immediately became quiet. “Alright.” “However, I got something for you. I was going to wait until tomorrow, but it’s guess it’s okay to give it to you tonight.” “That sound exciting! What’s it?” “It’s in our bedroom.” “Chi-Chi, isn’t it…” He couldn’t help but glance down her body. “No!” Chi-Chi blushed heavily and screamed. “I’ve hidden it in our wardrobe. I’m done here, so we can go to bed now and I’ll give it to you.” “That sounds great.” “Let’s go then.” Goku was getting a little impatient with Chi-Chi doing other things like setting the bed up. He was dying to know what she had bought him. “Chi-Chi, did you forget about my gift?” “Oh, that’s right.” She looked at him and pressed her palm against her forehead. “I completely forget it. I’m sorry. I’ll get it now.” She walked to their wardrobe and grabbed a small box from the top shelf. Then she held it tightly in her hands and lied down on the bed beside him. She handed him the box couldn’t help but smile seeing his puzzled expression. “Here it is. Open it.” “Okay.” His suspicious look remained on his face until he opened his gift. It immediately changed to a happiness one and he didn’t even bother holding how he was feeling in. “A brand new pair of blue wristband!” “It’s something very simple, but I hope you enjoy it.” “Are you kidding me? This is great!” He said cheerfully and hugged her tight. “I love getting fighting accessories.” “I know.” Chi-Chi smiled warmly. “Thank you so much! I loved it! I can’t wait to show them to the boys tomorrow. Vegeta is going to freak out!” “I’m glad you really liked it.” “It’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten.” Goku put them back into the box and put it away on the chest of drawers behind him. “Did you choose them yourself?” “I did.” She nodded her head. “Actually, I didn’t really choose them, I designed them.” “What?!” “I made them on my own a few days ago, while you were away training.” “Chi-Chi.” “I don’t know why you seem so impressed. You know I’ve been designing fighting clothes for both you and Gohan for a few years now.” “I know, but wristbands too? They seem harder to be designed.” “Not really, to be honest. I thought they were going to, but they were actually quite easy. I made a pair of Gohan too, a red one. And I think it’s time Goten gets one too.” “Goten too?” He blinked in surprise. “Does that mean you…” “I think it’s time he starts learning to fight. The basics, he’s still too little to get into intense training.” “That’s okay, as long as he gets to learn it. But I thought you wouldn’t want him to train, like you did with Gohan.” “Well, I still think education is the way to go, but I think we can find a balance between it and fighting. It was actually my idea. I had suggested it to Gohan a few months after Goten was born. We were supposed to do it together, but the plans changed a little I guess.” “You were going to train him with Gohan?” “With everything that happened with Cell and you being gone, I thought it wouldn’t hurt. He could help protect the Earth if needed.” “We can still train them together. I’m sure he’d love to know his mother was once a fighter too.” “And I don’t mean to brag, but a very good one.” “I have absolutely no doubt about it.” Goku grinned. “This is exciting.” “We’ll talk more about it soon. For now I just want to sleep and rest before Misaki wakes up in the middle of the night, hungry.” “That’s a very good idea.” He pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her. It didn’t take long for them to fall asleep.

[ap-kinda-lit]

Goku’s parents, everybody

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super manga ch.87

Ruh-roh.

So last time it looked like the good guys had finally defeated Gas.  They didn’t kill him, but everyone seems satisfied that he’s beaten.  Monaito goes to heal Granolah and it turns out he’s gotten much faster about it.  Seems that Goku and Vegeta weren’t the only ones who got stronger in all of this. 

But it turns out Gas won’t go down that easily.  He recovers from Granolah’s finisher, but he looks like a desiccated corpse now, and he doesn’t even seem to notice.  So the fight continues, and even when Goku does serious damage to his arm, it doesn’t even slow him down.  Vegeta likens it to a curse.  Gas must be the strongest in the universe because of the wish.  No matter how much damage he takes, he can’t weaken, no matter what, until he finally dies. 

This horrifies Oil and Macki, who were already concerned about the toll this was taking on Gas’ body.  But Elec still doesn’t care.  At last, Gas sees his reflection and finally realizes he’s dying.  Elec tells him to hurry up and finish the good guys off, because any minute now, he will... wait, who’s he?

It’s Frieza!  And he just got done watching Iron Man movies! 

So yeah, now we finally see what Elec was trying to do here.  When Granolah first came to him asking for Frieza’s location, and he told them how he used the Cerealian Dragon Balls to wish for supreme strength, Elec lured Goku and Vegeta to Cereal to eliminate Granolah.  While the fought, the Heeters found the Cerealian Dragon Balls and wished for Gas to become the strongest in the universe. 

At the time, it just seemed like the Heeters were just looking to bump off Granolah so that they could proceed with their plans to eliminate Frieza on their own terms, but now we see that Elec had contacted Frieza to arrange a meeting on Cereal, so that Gas could assassinate him when he arrived. 

And Elec’s plan could still work.  I mean, Gas hasn’t gotten rid of Goku, Vegeta, or Granolah yet, but he’s still alive, and he can still kill Frieza.  After all, he’s the strongest in the univer--

Oh. 

Oh my.

So yeah, Frieza just one-shotted Gas, and that makes things very awkward for Elec, who wasn’t planning past this moment.  Frieza calmly explains that he’s been aware of Elec’s scheming for decades, and he allowed him to play his intel games for the benefit of his own organization.  He also tells Elec that he’s known all along that the weakest of the four Heeters is Elec.  Then he kills Elec, which is kind of a formality at this point.

So how the hell did Frieza defeat Gas so easily?  The dragon made him the strongest in the universe, right?  Frieza explains that he just recently got out of a Hyperbolic Time Chamber that he found on one of his conquered planets.  While inside of it, he did ten years’ worth of training.  During that time, Frieza became far more powerful, and when Gas’ wish was made, Frieza wasn’t in the universe to be taken into account. 

Okay, one small problem with all of that.  Gas has only been the strongest in the universe for a fairly short time now.  I mean, most of this arc has taken place in a single day on Planet Cereal.  Maybe a few hours at most have passed since Gas got his ultimate strength.  So Frieza must have stepped out of the Time Chamber, then got in his spaceship and hauled ass to planet Cereal in that short span of time. 

I mean, it’s plausible, sure.  Maybe Frieza’s ship is really, really fast, or his Hyperbolic Time Chamber just happens to be on a planet very close to Cereal.  Or maybe he’s got the entrance to the chamber built into his ship.  That’d be pretty cool. Drink some space wine, head down to Deck Seven and step into your own private Hyperbolic Time Chamber for a decade or two.

I’m just wondering if maybe Toriyama and Toyotaro got mixed up somewhere.  It would make a lot more sense if Frieza surpassed Granolah this way, since Granolah made his wish a month or two ago.  But he took out Gas like it was nothing, so the only way that makes sense would be if Frieza was in the Time Chamber on this same day.  Or maybe Elec’s wish was worded differently.  He might have asked the Dragon to make Gas stronger than Granolah, thinking that there was no semantic difference.  Well, it’s not worth quibbling over.

Anyway, Frieza’s motives should be obvious.  He was outclassed in Resurrection F, and then again in the Tournament of Power, and then again in the Broly movie.  Frieza wanted a way to get back on top, so he used the Time Chamber to close the gap, and he developed a new form: Black Frieza.  It’s... just Golden Frieza but with a charcoal color scheme instead of gold. 

So now we’re back to basics, with Goku and Vegeta fighting Frieza again, only with new ultimate forms.  Well, this could lead to--

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

So yeah, Frieza beat Ultra Instinct Goku and Ultra Ego Vegeta, at the same time, with one blow.  He doesn’t even bother to finish them off, which is kind of a nice touch, since he’s already demonstrated that they’re no threat to him.  When they recover, they find Granolah tending to Monaito, who was fatally wounded when Gas came back for that final round.  But then Whis shows up and heals Monaito as a special favor.  He’s come to pick up the boys because Beerus needs technical support for making instant noodles again. 

And... that’s the end of the arc.  I was kind of surprised, because I was pretty sure Granolah died at the end of this thing, but no, he and Monaito are fine.  The surviving Heeters, Oil and Macki, take jobs on Frieza’s spaceship crew.  Goku has a souvenir from his bio-dad.  Granolah and Monaito plan to use the Dragon Balls one last time to repair the damage to Planet Cereal, and then Monaito intends to deactivate the Dragon Balls for good. 

Curiously, Granolah still has his incredible power and shortened lifespan.  I would have expected that to get reversed somehow.  I mean, Vegeta’s offering him a rematch, which is pretty standard for Dragon Ball, except Granolah only has three years left to live.  I assume Toyotaro plans to use him again in a future story, but with all the timeskips we see in DBS, will Granolah still be alive by then?  Well, that’s Toyo’s problem.  I’m sure he’ll come up with something. 

Of course, the big plot dangler from this chapter is the looming threat of Black Frieza.  Sooner or later, Goku and Vegeta will meet him again, and Frieza won’t be so merciful.  None of this is mentioned in the Super Hero film, but presumably the boys were training specifically to deal with the Black Frieza threat.  That’s probably also why they brought Broly’s group to Beerus’ planet.  In the movie, they said it was so Frieza wouldn’t find them, and that makes more sense if you know about Black Frieza, since Golden Frieza was no match for Broly. 

I’m a pretty hardcore Cell fan, so I hate to give Frieza any credit, but I have to admit that this chapter might be the coolest Frieza stuff I’ve seen in a long time.  For years, I’ve maintained that bringing back Frieza in 2015 wasn’t worth it.  Resurrection F wasn’t that good, and the character hasn’t done anything since that justifies bringing him back.  But now, at least we have the promise of something that will actually live up to the hype.  Golden Frieza was basically on the same level as Super Saiyan Blue, but this new Black Frieza is in a league of his own.  Here, we finally see Frieza returned to his original status, far beyond all the other characters. 

And it seems like Frieza has finally learned from his past mistakes.  He’s not blindly charging in for revenge, or leaving things to his subordinates.  It’s the same character, but he’s changed, and not just in terms of color or power.  This isn’t the same Frieza from 2015 or 1990.  And that’s what matters here, because if you’re going to bring back a classic character, you have to do something new with him.  Like how Goku finally got to remember his parents after all this time.  Whatever happens next, he’ll never be quite the same, but you have to give him moments like that, because if he never grows or changes, then there’s no point in telling new stories about him. 

This was a very good arc.  In a way, the Moro and Granolah sagas compliment each other well, because the Granolah arc demonstrates exactly what was wrong with the Moro arc, and the Moro arc shows what the Granolah arc did right.  It’s hard to imagine these were both written by the same creative team, but there it is.  I’m definitely feeling a lot more optimistic for the future of this comic.  Of course, the next several chapters are an adaptation of the Super Hero movie, which is a bold step backwards, but hopefully after that’s over they’ll let Toyotaro cut loose. 

So that wraps up my coverage of the DBS manga.  But I’ve still got some more material for the liveblog, so stay tuned...